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masked-and-doomed · 6 months

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heya do you got any oc's or anything? like funger oc's n stuff? i'm obsessed with oc's

*since this post mentions her relationship with pocketcat, implied csa warning. also she's depressed so suicide warning ig*

Also. this is 2k words. waow.

Not specifically funger OCs, but I do have a self insert character that I've put in the funger universe!

(the hair is supposed to be black btw it looks more brown to go better with the colour pallette)

I welcome you to- uh. Right. *Turns to face her* You don't have a name. It's been what, fuckin' 3 years? You still haven't decided anything? Oh, now it's kinda maybe meaningful for your character to have no name? Poetic shit? Yeah sure. *Turns back to face you* So, no name. For our sakes, I'll call her Unnamed Girl(ie). UG for short.

She was a human that suddenly got snatched from Earth and put into a white void. And she was trapped there. With memories of nothing. Why she has no name. Well she has some vague memories of her previous life, like her being fatherless, she doesn't remember any names, faces. Just some interactions.

We dunno what the hell happened to Earth nor her, really, all we can assume is that there's probably some sadistic ass higher being that's putting her through that shit? Watching her suffer every moment here. But, we never got to know. They don't really matter to us really, they've never showed up. Not important.

In the white void, she also gained. Some sort of Godhood? She got powers of some sort. So that's one upside. Downside with this is that she's immortal. And as you see, a white void. Is well. A white void. Nothin in it. Sure, she's made a room for herself to get comfy but then you start to go insane with the fact that you're isolated and that there's no one to talk to and you have no purpose in life and that it feels like you were an unwanted part of the universe that wasn't meant to ever be existing but yet you still do, and then erm she can't take it anymore and tries to. Off herself. Multiple times, in fact!

Too bad for her, immortality exists. Or perhaps better called, eternal youth. She hasn't aged since she got here. Perpetually 12, what a hell to be in, huh buddy? Fucked up thing to add on, the way her immortality works is that she suffers the wounds, damage, pain, before her body starts to regrow it back. (Usually like a minute but if she pushes it, it can be instantaneous.)

After a few days in the white void she starts conjuring up friends in her head to try and combat the eternal loneliness. Barely works. She's got three guys in her head, that talk to her from time to time. They're pretty flat and 2D in personality, UG really isn't that much of a creative girl.

(Oohh tumblr compression...)

So, with these characters, let's show you how horrible she is at naming, hm? We got the furry one, Kats. Sadistic and mean one. Guy with the hat is Meowzerz. Cheerleader, also tries to advise UG to be kind. Gas masked fellow is Koolmeow. Wild card, she does whatever she finds fun. Mostly burning things up.

Really shitty names for those last two. No wonder she hasn't picked a name for herself if these are the names she gave these mfs.

...

Well, fuck. Friends aren't really friend-ing great unfortunately. What to do?

Oh, lookie that. That's a buncha.. games and anime. Huh. Well, might as well get through them. All this white is awfully boring.

So after some days of hell, she got to see stories she's vaguely familiar with. Must been stories she experienced back in her previous life. Entertainment is entertainment.

With nothing else in the void really, she gets heavily attached to these media. Filling her time with making fanart and obsessing over the characters. Three in particular she got attached to, but only one of them is of importance considering where we're headed to in this timeline.

Ahh the cat. The horrid horrid cat. I mean she's a young child, having a man tell him she loves her even when it's just a character written by someone else to be a creepy piece of shit is. Well a charming and interesting specimen such as him sharing affection? She can't help but reciprocate back.

With all the time in this non-existence, she makes a whole shrine of shit. Plushies, posters, figures. She loves recreating his likeness and having something physical to hold. Well, she is most well versed in digital art. That she does remember about herself. She was an artist. And most of him is drawn in a computer over and over again. She has no other way to show her love other than to put him in silly situations and emulate how he reacts. Yes I do mean fanfiction. She has a lotta files of just art of him she made, you don't wanna know how big it is.

Even besides him, she's pretty enamoured with this world of Funger. She'd much rather go through that hell than this hell. At least you can die there. And things actually happen.

...

Oh? We can finally go out? After all this time?

You really did get to find a way out, Kats?

It's.. Ahah. The multiverse thing does actually exist, doesn't it? This.. this is the dungeon...

...

Ah, so much explaining her backstory and I haven't gotten to her personality! Well she's. Seriously mentally ill for one. Isolation for god knows how long and all that. I can only conclude Depression or some variation of it for now, though there is definitely another mental disorder at play here. Erm. We might never know. I don't think she'll ever go to therapy or a psychiatrist.

Due to her being in that void for so long, and with barely any memories, there's some things that she's real bad at. Of course, she retains her memory of how to walk, how to speak and communicate, and most basic human things.

However, this bitch cannot social interaction. How unfortunate, my friend.

She can be very blunt and clear with her words. Oh she also has this stupid thing where she's either really crass and informal or just talks fancy and with a thesaurus. Fucking weirdo. can't talk normal ever.

Next note, she has no respect for anyone. That's not to say she doesn't appreciate anyone's company, she definitely likes a good amount of people. Thing is, since she saw this all in a game she played and saw as fiction. Little dolls for her to play with. She never really got to get out of that thinking. Also that with her being some sorta higher being? Yeah, she thinks a little high of herself. Sometimes. Sometimes. (She also think she's the worst thing ever that existed lmao)

Adding on, she also possesses no self respect. No shame. No dignity. No regrets about anything ever. She just lives on. She's a very YOLO it is what it is kinda gal.

UG has a very normal perception of love. She thinks of violence as a sort of love language to her, she just wants to rip her beloveds to shreds. She also has an intense hatred for the cat, despite him being the one she loves most. The hatred plays along with her obsession of the cat. Also. Um. Yandere. yeah. She's obsessive. Isolation and all that. Makes you intensely crave affection and attention. And also being a child. Forever. Yeah she's quite an attention whore. (self label)

Other effects from the isolation also happen to be extreme boredom. She wants to do anything. In her life. And hey, she's got a lot if it to spare.. plany of time. It is mildly boring her that she knows she's most likely gonna win any battle with enemies but still, the experience of fighting is pretty banger. The adrenaline... Thrill seeking. Ahh... She loves fighting.

So um, with those last two paragraphs, she does normal things to both the party that dared step into the dungeon, and the termina contestants. She's normal about them. She is both heavily protective and extremely violent murder maim.

Ah, next thing! She's quite the contradictory thing. Mental disorder again, she can go from one extreme scale to another. Like her love and hatred, protecting her allies to killing them. High self confidence and self praise to self loathing. Sometimes a little bit of a hypocrite. She's weird.

Her morals are. Eh. Eh. Again, she both cares about everyone's lives yet is also apathetic. She doesn't mind murder too much, as she'll dirty her soul a lot through experiencing the funger universe. This. Image.

Everything might as well just be a game to her.

With all o' this. There's multiple timelines of her doing many different things because of how much she can vary and still be in character (well to me, at least). She can do so much. Silly girl.

That's all I can think of for now about personality! Little tidbits about her powers before onto the brief timeline. She has some future telling. If the future is far, she can see more possibilities it can go in, not giving an exact determined route of what will happen. If the future is soon, as in, will this guard swing at her right arm or her left arm in 5 seconds? She can check and the future will be certain, that it will be her left arm that will get cut if she doesn't prevent it.

Most of her powers stem from the other media she watched during the isolation period; she rarely uses the Gods' powers in funger purely to fuck around with it and also confuse smart asses. (enki)

After finding an escape from the white void, she wakes up in front of the.. dun dun dun... funger dungeons...

She does what any sane person would do and explores with glee.

They aren't really all that scary to a creature like her, only serving her to activate fight mode and get a rush.

She recruits everyone possible with her knowledge of these dungeons, and decides to change some things.

She approaches Pocketcat as she is done with her journey. There are no more battles to fight. No more exploration to be done in this dungeon. She is satisfied. The girl wishes for Pocketcat to eat her, since she hasn't tried that method of killing herself. (Also because she is crushing hard on this man and she knows he loves her too)

He instead gives a different proposal...

...

Remember how she's a sort of 'god' (but not in the funger way) and has OP ass powers? Well there's actually 2 drawbacks to them.

First one, it is quite exhausting. It is also exhausting just living and breathing in fact, but that's the mental disorders. She can go on long without rest but she will be extremely fatigued if she pushes. And my, she pushes a through a lot.

Second, there's one thing that nullifies her powers. Fear. But ah, with a soul like hers, it is quite difficult for her to fear anything. With problems in her way, she either brushes it over, gets enraged, or drowns in sorrow. How on earth could anything scare her?

Ahaha... Well a few actions made by a specific person could scare her...

(he soo gets off being the only one that can get her into such a submissive state, btw)

The one thing keeping her heart from total darkness, now entirely painted black. What a sad soul.

...

So, he didn't kill her. big whump. Fine though, she thinks about the termina festival in 350 years. She wouldn't mind living for that long to see more silly people. Plus, the dungeon took a lot out of her. A lot more magic she used than usual. This period will be... A nice and long break, she thinks positively. One hell she has endured in here, she will prepare to live through and enjoy another. Plus, if it's all adrenaline rushes, how is she meant to savour Termina?

She occupies her time by living with Pocketcat, and.. His usual activities. She joins in on his child murders from time to time. Not as fun as killing monsters that are fully intending to end her life but snuffing another life is still somewhat satisfying, nevertheless. And hey, fun bonding activity, right?

She also does the same as she did in the void, making a bunch of art and stuff. But this time, she actually has someone she can show it to! Speaking of the cat, they do typical lover activities time to time. Dates, and stuff. Doing things together. Fun!

Both of them had their fair share of isolation for a long period of time and needless to say, their 'eternities' are much more lively and worth living through with a like-minded being by their side.

She also.. has a little fun with the contestants before they enter the worst period of their life..

(This part is totally not because of recent events) After spending 350 years with Pocketcat, she picked up some of his mannerisms to her misfortune. Her hand feels like it should be doing something within conversation, so her subconscious makes her jack off a ghost dick. She's gonna have a fun time with talking to people.

...

Now we're at the festival, one meant to end all festivals! And boy it'll end more than just festivals, alright! Hehe.

At the end of this festival, she has one plan.

And that is to finally rest.

She will not be returning from this trip.

...

So, some stuff were left vague because. well. yeah. I don't fully expect to write this into actual fanfiction, but no worries, I'll reveal the gist of what happens at some point. Whether I actually can find it in me to write it out or just make a post about what happens, we shall see.

Extra stuff to mention:

This is basically her. In every universe she visits.

You can check out the '#unnamed OC core' tag to see. More of her vibes.

I also got a playlist.. of her..

(Also, since this is a self insert about half of the traits mentioned are. me. so. yeah. I should try getting diagnosed for something but idk man I can't find shit)

Got any questions! Feel free to ask anything!! >:3 Hell, I'll even answer in character for fun.

#hello asker #unnamed girlie #long post

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lollytea · 2 months

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thoughts on the main bridgerton couples we’ve seen so far?

Ooooooh you've given me an opportunity to yap. Thank you kindly!!

Oh when I started season 1, I was sooooo excited for Daphne and Simon's fake dating plot. I wasn't expecting anything deeply profound. Just gimmicky trashy fun. And I really did enjoy them!! I liked watching them interact with each other. They were very sweet and charming.

Except uuuuggghhh!!! Their sexual dynamic made me so uncomfortable. Like I had so much fun watching the numerous scenes where they fucked like happy happy little rabbits and wished that was as far as the show took it. BUT the power imbalance was awful.

I understand historical accuracy of regency era women being less sexually educated the men and are sometimes completely clueless but GODDDD that doesnt mean I have to enjoy watching it. Bridgerton is supposed to be some stupid swoony sexy romance. But personally I don't find the virgin and slut trope to be all that sexy or swoony or romantic at all.

I don't like Daphne having to be taught how to masturbate by her love interest like she's a child

I don't like how her naivete is exploited by her husband

And I do NOT like how Daphne sexually assaults her husband out of SPITE. Its absolutely depraved. Its disgusting. Sick to my stomach.

Devastated by how fun Daphne and Simon initially were and then it all veered into creepy squirmy terrible territory. I wanted to enjoy them so bad.

The next is Kate and Anthony and. Hm.

I think Kate has the most compelling character set up out of everyone in the cast. I like that she's so much older than the typical female protag in these kinds of stories. She's still very young (26) but according to the era she lives in, she's ANCIENT for a woman. I quite like stories like that. About older women who think they've lost their chance of finding love years ago but receive a happy surprise. She's brainy and loud and stubborn and opinionated and gets on people's nerves but she's also so pleasant and funny and so full of love for her family and she's fucking GORGEOUS.

I don't have any strong opinions about Anthony except he's a bit of a cunt but the actor plays him so melodramatically that I do find him entertaining.

I was excited for the enemies to lovers thing. They both have such strong flammable personalities. I wanted mess. I wanted fire. I wanted her to tear his throat out.

But the romance itself was kinda....underwhelming. I dunno, I felt like they didn't have enough interactions to really loathe each other to the extent that they did. And then, again, they didn't have enough interaction for that loathing to morph into love. Like the fact that it states that they're "in love" when they've only had a few scenes together feels very unsatisfying. It didn't seem earned. At least with Simon and Daphne, they were hanging out with each other every day for weeks. Kate and Anthony were only having sporadic meetings every once and again.

ALSO the two of them crumbled into hopeless love way too fast for my liking. It felt like a jumble of fanfic scenes but with none of the substance of the Canon material to make the fanfic meaningful. I dunno man, Kate has been completely unreceptive to romance for her whole life and Anthony is stubborn and arrogant and completely against the idea of love. The evolution of their relationship seemed quite rushed. I think the burn should have been much slower, yknow? Taking down each others barriers one brick at a time.

ALSO. They should have just as many unapologetic sex scenes as Simon and Daphne. It anything, they should have had more. At least Anthony and Kate felt like they were on equal ground. I would much rather see a 26 year old woman getting railed than a 19 year old girl.

Are there any other main bridgerton couples? Hm...there's Eloise and that guy I've forgotten the name of. Hate it. Hate it a lot. I find Eloise to be quite an insufferable character and I do not even remember the guy's face. I'm mad that Eloise has a love interest in the first place. I'm mad that a love interest had to be tied in to a subplot about Eloise becoming involved in women's rights in order to make it interesting. I'm mad I'm mad I'm mad.

Uhhhh Colin and Penelope. Hm.

They're both going to be very sexy in the new season. I know they will be sexy. They are both sexy.

I love to see a fat girl get a kind decent man who's obsessed with her.

But MAN. Man....I so badly wish they didn't have Penelope wrong Marina in season 1. It was so vile. So cruel. So despicable. At least in my opinion. Penelops and Colin's relationship is probably never gonna sit right with me after that. There is NO WAY a decent man is going to forgive a woman for doing that to his previous girlfriend?? Right??

Well we know that he WILL forgive her. And he will fall in love with her. So Colin kinda sucks too.

Anyway those are my thoughts. I love bridgerton because I love mess and drama but there is nothing good going on here

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nefelegies · 10 months

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sry if you’ve answered this question before but will you ever continue your neocities comic ? :3 I whole heartedly love it ever since I discovered it a year or two ago

no don't worry i haven't! putting a cut because this is an extremely long and non simple answer read at your own peril

the reason the comic went on hiatus to begin with is actually that i was starting to feel really weird about the high school setting??? this may sound stupid but shinji was a character i first created when i was 16 and given that i'm now 21 it was just no longer a type of story i related to much or felt compelled to tell. especially now, almost 2 years into the hiatus, i am almost done with my undergraduate education as well, so it becomes harder and harder for me to bridge the gap in my writing. i also feel like the maturity of certain themes i wanted to write about are ill suited to the setting.

additionally, after taking a few months break from writing during a period of time when i was very very unhappy with all my work, i kind of exploded shinji as a character and changed a fair amount of his personality & character motivations. i felt like the way i used to conceptualize him was kind of juvenile compared to how i wanted him to come off, and i felt like i was not setting myself up to do a good job with his personality. if i was to pick the comic back up as it currently stands, not only would i have to contrive in a time skip to get to where i want (that being the characters in college) which would really mess with my previously established pacing and how the events are meant to build (because if the action is supposed to escalate over a few months, why even include all the buildup from 3 years before? just feels like a false start), but i would also have to mess with the tone and stylization of dialogue and how shinji is portrayed in a way that would, again, make the beginning of the comic pointless (imo) because it wouldn't contribute or relate at all to the meat of the story.

another sticking point i have had in restarting has been a kind of silly one-- i have not lived for any significant period of time in japan, despite visiting the university in sapporo, so i feel like i know woefully little about the life of a university student in japan and what that looks like day to day, which would seriously get in the way of a simply aged-up reboot. to the extent that i wasn't sure what the point of keeping it set in japan would even be. like what am i making a commentary on if i'm writing about a college culture i know nothing about? i feel like i would much rather satirize or criticize the college culture in the united states, since that's where i'm studying. also:: the highschool setting was originally meant as a satire on wish fulfillment slice of life manga (including american wannabe webtoons) that is needlessly set in highschool, but in one of those "satire requires clarity of purpose" type crises, i think i felt like i was moreso parroting tropes than saying anything meaningful about them, and the character of shinji was undeniably created out of 16 year old weebery and the fact that i was studying japanese in school and wanted to practice my kanji on people's names 😭.... so i guess to sum THIS point up, the idea of a continuation or reboot puts me in a weird place with regards to setting, as i don't see the value of me writing about a university experience im not familiar with and don't have much way of ever knowing intimately. even though i could definitely still use the lens of general anime escapism and wish fulfillment when writing about a college student, i just don't really know if it's my place at all to be criticizing this phenomenon as someone who doesn't live in japan if that makes sense. like at that point why am i not just writing about american twitter users with hentai addictions who i have much more close and personal interactions with

finally, and this is not so much a major factor in my thoughts here (somehow) but is worth mentioning: the comic was primarily written during some extremely stressful months-years of my life, and i honestly struggle to get in whatever the hell headspace i was in when i was writing it. like what was going on in my brain. a lot for sure

that being said, i really miss writing osk. having a project like that to work on was really nice! i miss the characters (especially the revamped older versions that no one has actually gotten to experience :( ) and i miss how much it forced me to create. i have not stopped thinking about it at any point since i went on hiatus to be honest and i'm just really stuck on where to go. i cant continue it in its current form (i would be unhappy with it) but i can't think of a good way forward either, and even if i restart it completely (which is POSSIBLE and maybe even the most likely option) i really can't figure out how to tackle the setting.

this is probably not the answer you were expecting i am very sorry it is so long. i just have been stewing on it for a while and really wanted to get it all down in one place

#ask #not art

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semi-imaginary-place · 2 years

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While I do understand wanting better versions of the supports that were in the game for example a Dimitri Raphael support chain about Raphael helping Dimitri process the trauma of losing his parents, or adding an Ashe Yuri support since they share similar childhoods, or deleting half the Claude Ingrid support chain because the whole thing would have been better as a C-B support chain. Most of the time the people crying about wanting more supports getting what they want would only make the game worse. What is the harm in more supports you ask dear strawman? Well, the ratio of B and A supports itself and their distributions are a part of character characterization.

Let us take Sylvain as an example. I see so many people saying such things as "Sylvain and Bernadetta deserve an A support!" "Sylvain and Marianne are so cute we were robbed of an A support" and these statements almost always have more to do with shipping (which is always highly biased on the individuals personal preferences) than what actually makes sense for the characters involved. if you pay attention these people are usually calling for romantic A supports. The fact that Sylvain despite having many B supports has only 4 A supports, the lowest of any student provides further provides evidence for what is implied throughout his lines in the game. Most other students have closer to 9 A supports so Sylvain's 4 is highly unusual.

The low number of A supports is inline with Sylvain's characterization in game as someone who has destroyed their ability to form meaningful bonds with other people. If you look at who Sylvain A supports with, they all have something specific that let's them get through to Sylvain while dodging the loaded minefield he has designed so he has flimsy justification to say they only interacted with him for superficial qualities like his family name, crest, money, looks/etc. Ingrid and Felix are Sylvain's close childhood friends that have known him for most of their lives and whom Sylvain cherishes and is loyal to. Mercedes and Dorothea are two of the most emotionally intelligent and competent characters in the entire cast, the two of them could crack anyone open. Mercedes and Dorothea are also two women Sylvain is interested in as his latest conquests which keeps his interest and allows the relationships to deepen when the two of them eventually push.

Sylvain has long closed his heart so only those already in there or those that can navigate along a knife's edge have the chance to actually achieve emotional intimacy with him. If the game were to have had more A supports for him that would have changed his characterization. The low number of A supports serves as evidence of how messed up Sylvain is that Felix, Ingrid, Mercedes, and Dorothea are the only people that can get around his self sabotage habits and numerous coping mechanisms to get at the person beneath them. Sylvain dates women in a really toxic manner and actually forming a genuine relationship with him is like navigating a minefield most people can't so it. When women break up with him for cheating and lying he uses it as justification that women after him only want him for his crest and family status but also advertised himself with those very traits. You have to wade through like 15 miles of bullshit and fake doors and booby traps with Sylvain. And the only people who can do that are Felix and Ingrid who already have an established trust bond with him, Mercedes who is a saint and very kind and patient, and Dorothea who has some of the highest social intelligence and can see straight through his bullshit to the heart of his insecurities.

But let's look at a few of Sylvain's B supports and see why it wouldn't work. Bernadetta and Marinne both can't break through that final push because they are weight down so much by their own issues. There's lots for Marianne and Sylvain, their problems with the crest system and their love of horses, but Marianne's character development really only happens on Verdant Wind and even then she I think she'd be too clumsy to close the gap with Sylvain during the span of the game. Because a relationship isn't just about 1 person doing things for the other like Sylvain helping Marianne with her problems, its both of them coming together. Dimitri is a similar case, and additionally Dimitri just doesn't get it. Ingrid similarly also gets taken in by superficial personas but she's so intensely loyal that she manages to brute force her way through. Dedue isn't particularly invested in Sylvain they find mutual respect but there isn't a spark. Ashe and Annette are similar cases where they come to appreciate Sylvain but can't get through to him. The Lorenz one was comedy and very funny, they hate each other. They are both flirts but that is all they share, they are complete opposites in almost every way under that. Lysithea doesn't really like Sylvain she's come to like a neutral by the end of their B support. Hilda sees through Sylvain's fake ass and doesn't want him. Sylvain's not interested in Leonie. Flayn is too savy of Sylvain's bullshit to get too close. Manuela also realizes Sylvain is a fake little bitch and also doesn't want him. Dorothea and Mercedes were the only two that went "I can fix him" and actually had the skills to do so.

Now you might have noticed that some of the B support characters above might have been able to reach authentic emotional intimacy with Sylvain given some more time and you would be correct. So far I have only talked about what happens in canon in the game. It is totally possible with many of these that given the right circumstances and catalyst Sylvain and another character could have gotten much closer or it could happen after the curtain falls for the game. As always it is important to be able to distinguish that actually happens in a work from the infinite possibilities that lay outside of canon.

side note: Sylvain even has less A supports than most of the Church members. The only two in base game with less supports are Gilbert who is a sad sack of shit and deserves less, and Rhea who is nonplayable, has issues, and has shut herself away from the world to all but Byleth.

#fe3h #sylvain jose gautier #fire emblem three houses #fe #sylvain #fe sylvain

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shipcestuous · 9 months

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Some hot dads

Two of my favorite shows in the past year have been Silo and Mrs. Davis and they both happened to have shippable father/adult daughter relationships that I wanted to talk about briefly.

Silo is an Apple TV+ sci-fi/dystopian/mystery show that had a ten-episode first season and has been renewed for a second season. The main character is Juliette, played by Rebecca Ferguson. The premise of the show is that a population of several thousand people are living in a strictly-regulated underground silo and no longer have any history to tell them why. The worldbuilding is really good. Juliette is an engineer who lives at the very bottom of the silo and her father, Pete (played by Iain Glen) is a doctor who lives in the middle of the silo. They are estranged and as the season progresses we learn more about why. I'm getting into spoiler territory now, but only about one part of the story.

Juliette's mother and brother both died, and Pete did not handle it very well, putting himself into his work and leaving Juliette deal with a lot on her own. She flees to the bottom of the silo where she can focus on fixing things to get away from her grief. She's only 14 when she goes down there but Pete gives his permission because he knows he can't be what she needs. They don't really stay in touch and the rules of the silo don't allow for easy communication between the “mids” and the “down below”.

We also learn that Juliette believes Pete turned their mother into the authorities for breaking one of the silo's rules, and she has never been able to forgive him.

As the story progresses, she needs his help. He tries to mend their relationship but she isn't interested. However, she eventually learns that he did not turn her mother in, and immediately she wants to reconcile. They have a really touching scene and two very vibe-y hugs.

Especially since someone walks in on them the first time and they back away from each other and act all awkward and embarrassed.

Later hug:

One of my favorite scenes for them is earlier in the season. Juliette is climbing from the bottom levels up to the top levels, and she passes by where her father works. She gives it a very meaningful glance but also very intentionally doesn't stop there to see him.

I'm drawn to ships like this where there's a very organic tension but you can also imagine there's another reason underneath it. Juliette had a boyfriend who dies early on, and aside from that, she and Pete are both loners, and he doesn't seem to have remarried even though it has been 20 years. They're both still workaholics with no lives. They're a lot alike.

I will warn you that Pete is not in every episode and I think he and Juliette only interact in maybe 3 or 4 of the episodes. Saying anything at all about the ending would be too spoilery so I won't.

Mrs. Davis was an eight-episode miniseries made by Peacock. It's also a sci-fi slightly dystopian mystery, but a comedy, and a few other genres too, including being totally bonkers in mostly the best way. The plot is kind of complicated. But the main character is a nun named Sister Simone who wants to destroy a powerful A.I. that is basically running things. In order to do that, she is supposed to find and destroy the Holy Grail. This quest puts her on the trail of a woman named Clara. Clara came into possession of the Holy Grail and also wanted to destroy it, which is no simple task. In order to do that, she sought out the father she had never met, Arthur (played by Ben Chaplin), who is a scientist, hoping he could help her destroy it using his special laser.

Arthur and Clara are the father and daughter I want to talk about but they are not main characters in the series. There's really one main episode that deals with their relationship (episode 5), with a couple of bits and pieces scattered elsewhere. It really amounts to very little, but it's just so good.

Arthur is surprised to learn he has a daughter and doesn't particularly want anything to do with her.

However, due to his skepticism that what she has brought him really is the grail, he makes a pact to help her destroy it, thinking it will be easy and quick. We jump 10 years later and they still haven't managed to destroy it, getting together about once a month to try something new. At some point, it seems like the the destruction excursions became just excuses to spend time together.

I shipped it already, because I'm me, but the moment that made me ship it a lot and want to tell you all about it was when Clara suggests that she drink from the grail, which she knows for reasons I won't explain might cause something dramatic to happen. Arthur doesn't want her to do it, both because he doesn't want it to work (no more excuses to hang out) and because he's afraid it'll be dangerous. He suggests they throw it in a volcano instead, and then proposes a tropical vacation. It sounds like he mostly just wants to hang out at the beach with her. It sounded so much like a romantic couple vacation I almost died. Or more than a vacation. It really sounds like he wouldn't mind just living there with her forever. I don't want to overhype it, but I had to do a clip so you can make your own judgment anyway.

dailymotion

Unfortunately, without spoiling anything, I'll just say that something happens that means that Arthur and Clara can't be together after their scenes together in the show so you can't imagine them getting together later. I'll just have to imagine they hooked up at some point before.

Ben Chaplin and Iain Glen are both, dare I say, DILFs and look quite good for their ages. Their characters have extremely pretty adult daughters and lots of delicious awkward tension. Enough said, really.

#introduction #commentary #first post #r: fd #nc #nr #noiv #mrs. davis #tw: incest #silo #juliette and pete #arthur and clara

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hirazuki · 2 years

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So like, one thing that's kinda been poking at the back of my mind since the chunin exams finished, is how much Kishimoto really wanted it both ways with younger Naruto and it doesn't quite make sense.

We get flashbacks of Naruto being isolated as a kid at different points, but during that same time period in his life we also see him having those other flashbacks of him with some of the other boys and they come off as friends. Yet, we get ones like when Kiba literally was shown bullying Naruto in the one flashback during their fight in the preliminary round, mind you Naruto doesn't see him that way so it doesn't appear that way to him, but I digress.

Idk I find it mildly annoying. Also on a slightly different but related tangent, also weird as fuck the Shikamaru and Choji didn't meet until they were like eight, considering their parents are close enough to be drinking buddies still even after their genin days are over. Like I know it's typically moms that get together with their kids for playdates, but it just seems kinda baffling that the dads apparently never did. It comes off like Kishi didn't think to write some things for consistency, and kept that younger period of the characters vague so some of the details come off muddy when held up together.

Also the more I watch, the more disappointed I become in every adult that isn't at least embracing their evil shit, yknow?

So the way I've always read that is like, he had a handful of people (Shika, Chouji, Kiba) who weren't outright hateful towards him or didn't seem to mind him beyond what you'd expect from the average childhood rivalry/bullying, and: one, being Naruto; and two, seeing this within the context of how everyone else treated him, it came off to him as friendship. Naruto doesn't actually have a good, solid foundation for what friendship is imo, not experience-wise, and he doesn't have any good examples/role models at this point either. He definitely becomes a champion and role model for friendship himself, but especially in his younger days, I've always felt his understanding for it was conceptual, like something he'd know from stories about it, and not a lived experience. When all he knows is people throwing him out of their stores, whispering about him, glaring at him, etc., I think it's only natural that what would be an unremarkable association with a few classmates to a child that did have that background, to him appears as close bonds because it's the only non-negative experience in his life.

It's been a while since I rewatched the early days, but if I recall correctly, most of those flashbacks are from Naruto's point of view, which would make sense why they have this rose-colored glasses quality to them. Kiba's flashbacks certainly give a different perspective, but also from what I remember, Shika's too give the sense of a much more casual relationship with Naruto. So, I really do think it comes down to perspective. Most of these interactions too, except for one or two instances in the playground I think, happened at the Academy, and the contrast between that and Naruto's life outside of it (at home, walking the village streets, etc.) is pretty severe, so again, it makes sense to me that he would latch onto any non-negative experience and kind of blow it up in terms of how meaningful it was.

Yup, that is weird given how close their clans are supposed to be, and honestly I think it's just an example of growing pains of the series -- the same thing happens in Bleach, where prior to the Ryoka invasion, it seems like none of the squads actually communicate with each other because no one knows each other's powers or sometimes even appearances and names (which is obviously done as an opportunity to introduce these characters to the audience, but in-universe it comes off pretty weird). The details smooth out the further along you get, but early on some things are pretty rocky and I think it's just mangakas figuring their stuff out plus taking editor input into consideration too. Of course, story-wise, you can headcanon away as to the reason why they wouldn't have met until then XD

YES! That's a really good way to summarize why I love Orochimaru so much -- as well as Sasori, Kisame, and so many others. They are self-aware (with a few blind spots here and there, because everyone has those XD) and cognizant of what the system is truly like, and at the very least acknowledge their actions if not wholly embrace them, and it's so refreshing after sitting through so much of Konoha's "sanitized" perspectives and politics. And -- this may be projection -- I think this pervasive disappointment in adults, being promised the "Will of Fire" only for the system to fail you, etc., is why a lot of late 80s/90s kids really latched on to this series. There are very few people from our generation that I've met who didn't have narcissistic or neglectful parents/teachers/mentors (obviously this can be true for any generation, but I honestly do think that millennials got an unfair share of it) and who weren't severely screwed over by the social and economic lot we've been left with, so even if it's something that you may not actively pick up on watching as a child, it's something you subconsciously recognized in the material and why it struck such a deep chord in so many of us.

#thanks for the ask!!#i love hearing your thoughts as you're rewatching ^^

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inkovert · 1 year

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Hey it's 🌌🧭! [Side note: Do you say the emojis when you read or do you skip over them as like a name?]

I just want to start by saying your writing holds such a good emotional weight to it, I really love the way you string together dialogue the part were Jeremy said "You’re grieving. We both are. We just do it in different ways.” actually made me begin to tear up a bit. I just wanted to let you know since I know how important hearing from readers is.

I also really want to know what podcast it is, I personally have been listening to Unresolved Textual Tension a lot recently. Seeing others talk about things that bother them in writing makes me want to write.

To answer your question Alchemist are part of The Society of Scholars and could lose their right to preform magic if found out to be going against the rules. However they can repent in a way by washing in cold water and taking an extra hour of studying.

This was a smaller project I was working on with a friend and in it the main alchemist character has spent months in a foreign land learning all about the different ways they handle magic as well as collecting books to bring back. In one moment he brushes hands with someone and shivers really badly so I'd say that is the main reaction. Though by the time he goes to leave he's made great friends with someone, and knows he probably wont see her again so he gives her a goodbye hug for the first and last time.

Random and completely unrelated however, I got a fortune cookie and it made me think of you. Not the fortune itself but I guess the idea that even the littlest of things could be a story.

Have a good day 📎

Hello again ☺️ (I skip over the emojis as I read them as if they're a singular symbol representing a name haha....I don't even think I know what that first emoji is. stars? all this time I thought it was a heart rate monitor oops).

Anon. I just want to say I am deeply deeply grateful for you coming into my ask box and sharing your thoughts on that excerpt I posted - I wasn't expecting that at all! Because you are right, hearing from readers is super important. But it is especially meaningful to me bc I've been considering lately whether or not I want to stay on writeblr for various reasons. Lack of feedback is really only like 5% of the reason, if that, but receiving any kind of interaction or thought about my story makes me tip back toward hanging on a bit longer.

That said, I'm glad - not that I made you tear up per se haha - but that the excerpt moved something within you. That's really my main goal with my writing since many authors have had that same impact on me with their writing. And so to see that I'm succeeding with that is always great to hear ☺️ (also I feel dialogue is my strongest writing skill so your compliment of that made me especially smile).

Oh! Haha. Re the podcast it wasn't one talking about writing in any way (although now I have to check out that podcast you just plugged 👀). It's just two black women talking about their personal life/opinions on things that affect them as black women. And around the same time as I was listening to that podcast I was reading a black romance novel that just...severely disappointed me, which has been the case with a lot of books in that specific genre for me. Romance is not my go-to genre by any means in terms of reading or writing, I typically just read it if I want something light or am in a slump (as I currently am). And so, in the vein of what you brought up last time of being able to find stories anywhere, the combined experience of hearing black girls (specifically a dark-skinned black woman) talk about their struggles with romance/finding partners and this disappointing book just drove me to write a black love story out of spite, specifically one centered around a dark-skinned black woman. So that's what I'm working on now unfortunately (I say unfortunately as a joke bc I really never thought this would actually manifest into something. I've never been able to write or think up a true story outside of my wip SCIF. But apparently this is happening so. Yeah. Truly tragic).

Aw that poor Alchemist ): I can't imagine not being able to show physical affection to a friend who I love dearly. Also their lifestyle sounds very monastic, makes me wonder if there's a religious element infused in there or that you draw inspiration from.

#🌌🧭Anon #not me thinking that first symbol was a heart monitor...how very med school of me #also the fact that the fortune cookie made you think of me is sweet 🥰#will forever associate that phrase with you anon - the littlest things could be a story #asks

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aplaceofstone · 2 years

Text

AO3: faceofstone

(with treats enabled!)

Dear Yuletide Writer,

thank you for offering one of the small surreal-ish fandoms of my heart and I hope you will have fun writing for it. Anything can happen! Symbols! Meaningful non sequiturs! Things! Stuff!

All prompts and ideas are just suggestions, if you are the kind of Yuletide writer who likes to follow them. If not, cool, they are certainly not the end-all of what I love about these fandoms and characters.

If you like visual prompts, this entire blog is 20% recipes and 80% aesthetics that mostly fit my requested fandoms…

I like found families, oddball friendships, sympathy toward outcasts, characters who fully embrace being outcasts, melancholy, a sense of place, bittersweet accomplishments, and a stubborn flicker of hope in an overall bleak world. Dreamlike atmospheres that aren’t necessarily scary, some sort of reassurance that can be found in the weird and the profoundly unnatural.

Myst - worldbuilding (badum tsssssss)

This went too well last year not to ask for it again ç^ç Worldbuilding as an expansion of any of the Ages we don't know too much about - Eder Gira's huts in the distance, Tay stuff inside the hive a/o above the cliffs, Myst's underground rooms, strange sightings on Todelmer, you name 'em. But also world-building as in good old-fashioned focus on the Art, whether it's about a canon Age (anyone else think about instancing too much and get a headache, for one? I think Relto and the instanced Cavern itself are fertile ground for dreamy-weird-spooky fic...) or a made-up Age.

I love the whole cast, so feel free to pin that worldbuilding to any era of canon, following pretty much anyone. I nominated Atrus, Catherine and Yeesha because I love them so much and they all have interesting approaches to Writing, but if your idea works better with, idk, Ri'neref or the Watcher or Gehn or Esher or Zandi or Nelah or some schmuck on Releeshahn or whatever, go for it! I am not particularly well-versed in pre-Fall D'ni shenanigans - I'd be interested in reading something set anywhere in those millennia, just please write it assuming that your reader may not be already up to speed on what was going on historically at the time.

Twin Peaks - Tammy Preston

I see a Twin Peaks character, I want to see them face the unknown, cross a threshold, tread into a different world, have a terrifying epiphany. You know, as they do. Tammy, though, more so than Albert, has a way of being down to earth as we see in the books, and she's got some breathing space between herself and the trauma that keeps propagating itself through Blue Rose on one side (the loss of Phil, of Chet, Sam, Coop) and the town of Twin Peaks on the other (Laura, Maddie, Annie, Audrey, gonna go out on a limb and say Donna and Harry too). Does shooting Diane shift something in her? Or does she remain a potential anchor for others who are adrift? Cynthia could be a fun partner for supernatural casefic, shippy or not. She's the Air Force side of Blue Rose to Tammy's FBI, like Milford and Gordon in The Secret History, and later Garland and Cooper... we don't know much about her but I love her attitude, I think they'd be a formidable team. ...or they could simply go out one night in Buckhorn before Cynthia flies back. And find a ghost or something. There was an old interview where CB was asked whether she felt that Tammy was “the new Cooper” and she said no but Tammy is trying her best!!! And that Coop is more open to the unknown, and Tammy is only just starting. As I think that Cooper's failures are a big part of the narrative, I'm not sure anyone should aspire to be the new Cooper, but anyway, I've been wondering about these two characters interacting (in dreams?) ever since. Reaching out to her as the new Blue Rose agent and/or as someone who is just starting to peek 'between two worlds', warning her, teaching her, getting to know her and even seeing shades of Albert and Gordon in her. And what would she think of him? And maybe Laura is with him, or maybe it's just Laura and Tammy, secrets whispered to her ear, a world just for them. Maybe Laura could be a better teacher. She knows the darkness. Or maybe she would be too intense.

Codex Seraphinianus - worldbuilding

Take a page, any page, and tell me more about it! The rainbows thing, the potted deer, the swimming trees, the literally any illustration in here, look at them, they're great. Translate the text! Connect... things? Are there narrative paths through this copious amount of nonsense? Go fake academia on this - considering the text a total cipher or pretending we can read it? If you want to get philosophical, metaphysical and/or high concept in any other way, go for it! As long as it's all weird.

I have the recent edition with the extra pages; it's easy to find low-res pdfs around the internet or random pages via image search! Here’s a few:

#yuletide letter

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alexanderzeegreat · 3 years

Text

Are You Confused About Ageplay/Regression?

(Don’t Worry, So Are Lotsa People)

Hello, friends! I wanted to write a thingy for those new to the world of ageplay/regression; because when I first started to explore it, I quickly realized I had no terminology or understanding of the complications of this world. I hope this gives some degree of clarity to anyone feeling confused.

The first important thing to say is this is a consensual world comprised entirely of legal adults. The definition of a legal, consenting adult depends on national/local laws, but they should govern your interactions 100%. While there are undoubtedly littles/regressors who are minors (I was one once!), those legally defined as minors should not interact with legal adults in ageplay/regression activities (and vice versa, obvz!).

It seems to me there are three basic groups that I can use to describe ageplay/regression; I don’t think these groups are discreet—there is fluidity among each one, so someone who heavily identifies with Group Two, for example, may also find connections with parts of an identity of Group One or Three. These groups cross all boundaries of race, gender, sexuality, etc and are not confined by monoliths or binaries. This is a world of freedom, experimentation, fluidity, and play inside and outside of the self, a place where trans/bi/lesbian/gay/asexual/queer/intersex, etc are welcome.

GROUP ONE: primarily defined by individuals who adopt an age other (usually younger) than their own to play a role. In this role, the ageplay individual may (or may not) experiment with sexual play and all attendant idiosyncrasies and kinks attached to it, such as (but not limited to), dominance/submission, puppy play, diapers, gay/straight sex, discipline, chastity, etc. The differentiating feature of this group is that their ageplay is voluntary, discreet, and often a means to an end (for example, playing out a scene). There is usually no larger connection to the play age other than the taking on of a role. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

GROUP TWO: those in this group are defined by their voluntary regression (as opposed to the playing of role) in which they creatively and seamlessly embody a younger version of themselves (as opposed to a character—though the regressed self MIGHT carry a different name). Folks in this group have a profound and meaningful connection to their little side, sometimes referred to as an “inner child.” As opposed to those in the first group, their regression is usually (though not always) disconnected from their sexuality and focused instead on nurturing, play, and freedom. Group two littles/middles/regressors sometimes (though not always) have a caregiver who watches over them, and this can sometimes (though not always) take the form of a parental dynamic which might (though not always) include rules, discipline, and (non-sexual) punishments. This is the group I most closely identify with, and thus, the one I feel like I have the best handle on. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

GROUP THREE: people in this group are usually comprised of those who (mostly) involuntarily regress to a younger age or for whom regression is neither roleplay nor a means of experimentation/play but instead a lived-life reality often connected to trauma, abuse, and abandonment during their chronological childhood. For those in this group, regression can be (though isn’t always) therapeutic, or, at the very least, a coping mechanism for the difficulties associated with recovery. Because those who are in group three have relatively little control over their regression—and because they fully and completely inhabit the mind of a child—they need protection from triggers for trauma and from the dissonances of the adult world that might frighten or (re)traumatize them. This protection comes often in the form of a caregiver but can also include a community of other regressors who create strict content rules and police them from the outside. The people in this group are valid and deserve to be treated with respect.

USEFUL TERMINOLOGY

DNI: Do Not Interact—often used by those in Group Three (or any other individual for whom ageplay/regression is inherently nonsexual) who engage with tumblr and other social media through involuntary regression and who seek to avoid triggers that might (re)traumatize or expose them to material not suitable for their regressed age. If you accidentally repost or respond to a DNI post and you are asked to stop, please apologize and do so.

NSFW: Not Safe For Work—used to indicate material that crosses over into the adult world; think anything PG13 and up. If it is something you’d be embarrassed to share with a coworker or colleague, it is NSFW. More importantly for this world, if it is material you would not show a child (or an adult regressed as a child), it is NSFW.

ABDL: Adult Baby/Diaper Lover—usually not disarticulated, though there are some Adult Babies who do not wear diapers and some Diaper Lovers who identify outside the realms of baby/toddlerhood. These would be individuals who define their little /regressed side as baby-early toddler and for whom the wearing of diapers is integral to their role/regression. The reasons or meaning of the diaper can be radically different depending on the individual and can run the spectrum from sexualized to punitive to comforting to conventional baby attire. Some ABDLs are also individuals who routinely struggle with incontinence either in their play/regressed self or in their adult world.

Little—any individual who identifies their role/inner age roughly between infant and school-aged; this is a pretty broad term, and I have seen it used to describe the ages 0-11, though the sweet spot tends to be 2-6.

Middle—a bit confusing, tbh: I used to think a middle was anyone who did not identity as a baby/toddler, but now it seems to describe ageplay/regression from preteen to teenager, let’s say ages 8-17, though I do think the sweet spot is more 12-14.

CG: Caregiver—any individual whose sole function is to provide care, affection, attention, and love to a little/middle/regressor. This can include the terminology/relationship of family, such as daddy, mommy, uncle, brother, aunt, etc. Or it can be non-defined and amorphous. Sometimes abbreviated “CG,” a caregiver relationship may or may not include discipline/punishment but is mostly non-disciplinary and inherently nonsexual.

DDLB/DDLG & MDLB/MDLG: Daddy (Mommy) Dom/Little Boy (Girl)—used to describe a dynamic whereby the caregiver of a little/middle/regressor mirrors some of the cadences of a Dom/Sub relationship, though this can be as mild as a conventional parental relationship—where there are rules, discipline, and punishments—to something hypersexualized and more in line with hardcore dominance and submission dynamics.

CGLRE: Caregiver Little Regressor—like DD(M)/LB(G) only completely nonsexual, though what that means can be contested. For example, some CGLRE folx see the imposition of any kind of discipline/punishment/rules on a little/regressor as inherently sexual (even parental discipline) and would, therefore, not include that dynamic as part of an authentic CGLRE relationship.

IMPORTANT NOTE: this list is by no means meant to be exhaustive and is only one boy’s understanding of a very vast and intricate dynamic, so friendly amendments, comments, suggestions, and clarifications are very welcome. NOT WELCOME: those who already harbor generalized prejudice or judgmental views about ageplay and regression; claims of any kind of authenticity or authority over what being little or regressed REALLY is/means; vitriol, hate, judgmental/self-righteousness, and other general meanie headedness. Such folx will be immediately and cheerfully blocked. I don’t/won’t listen to any of that noise, mkay?

The important thing is—no matter where you fit (or don’t) in this list/world, you treat those outside (and inside) your group with compassion, empathy, respect, and kindness. I will close by saying littles/regressors/middles/CGs/daddies/mommies are some of the nicest, sweetest, generous, and loving people I’ve ever met, and I am proud to be a part of this world <3

Please share this with anyone you think might need it!

Love, Zander

#zanderspeaks

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chainofclovers · 3 years

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Ted Lasso 2x9 thoughts

It’s no secret that I absolutely adore Coach Beard; he’s one of my favorite characters on the show, and he’s so well-written and well-acted that somehow I tend to be both perfectly satisfied with the details we see and truly curious to understand more about the way he thinks, what’s really happening re: his professional and personal devotion to Ted, where he comes from and where he’s going. I don’t need to know his name beyond the name he wants to be called, but I want to know why we don’t have any other names for him. And I don’t need him to be a bigger focal point of every episode, but I very much needed this episode’s world-exploding reminder that every single character on this show has a rich inner life, full of joys and troubles.

“Beard After Hours” is like a movie, but one that scatters its climaxes and puts off its resolutions...because it’s not a movie. It’s episode nine of a twelve-episode season of TV. When the episode ended, I felt this almost frantic “But he needed to break up with Jane for good before the end of the episode!” feeling. I was so pulled in by the idea of being able to tell an entire story in one night, of going on an odyssey alongside a complicated hero, that watching Beard and Jane find each other in that club felt as intense as the fact that we don’t know if Ted responded to Rebecca’s voicemail and we don’t know what’s going to happen with Rebecca and Sam and we don’t know who isn’t getting married and who is having a funeral in 2x10 (I mean, I have my strong suspicions, but still!) and we don’t know if Richmond will be promoted back to the Premier League. And on and on. I didn’t mind feeling desperate for the story to resolve even though I understood after thinking about it for ten seconds that of course it couldn’t resolve yet. Or ever. Or yet.

I’m a big fan of the TL episode recaps/reviews Linda Holmes writes for NPR, and I have to quote something from this week’s directly because it so perfectly explains my feelings:

The power of the scene where Beard dances in the club isn't that it's a beautiful romantic climax. It's that it's an explanation of why he cannot seem to extricate himself from this bad relationship. What makes the worst relationships so dangerous is that they have elements that feel good that are very hard to get elsewhere. Beard knows that; he tells it to God. What's concerning isn't that Jane makes the world seem more interesting; what's concerning is she's the only thing that does. That doesn't take away from the joy of the dancing; it just tells you that even happiness is complicated.

I love Holmes’ perspective here so much, because it articulates something I was struggling to figure out: how it can feel so legitimate, like such a (temporary but nonetheless powerful) relief, for Beard to find Jane in that club and to have this moment of euphoria as his night nears an end. How it is possible to experience that relief on behalf of a character while fervently wishing it could end differently, because it’s so clear from the abusive text messages and the toxic calls and the manipulative interactions that Jane is terrible to him and they’re terrible for each other. But Beard knows this. He knows it when he hugs Higgins in the parking lot after Higgins is honest with him in a way Ted and Rebecca and Keeley have not learned how to be, and he knows it when part of his prayer includes the clear articulation that Jane isn’t the cure for what “ails me.” He’s inching closer to greater self-knowledge just as Ted is.

And the two big resolutions that really, really needed to happen did. I didn’t know I needed Paul, Baz, and Jeremy to get to wrap up their own night out on the pitch at Nelson Road, but I did. It brought actual tears to my eyes. And the other resolution was Beard showing up with the other coaches’ coffees for their meeting to watch the game film. As interesting as it would have been to see what Ted would have done if Beard hadn’t shown up, I’m so, so glad that he did. He’s got a messed-up face and some truly epic pants on, but otherwise this is just Beard showing up for work, showing up for his friends. It was incredible to realize that Beard and Ted haven’t been exaggerating when they’ve referred to his sex-and-drug proclivities in the past. The night documented in 2x9 might have been particularly scary and violent and euphoric and awful and meaningful, but this type of all-night adventure isn’t a foreign concept for this guy. In all the other episodes of this show, when we see Beard we’re seeing someone who might have been out all night, who might have spent the hours the sun was down desperately pushing himself closer to whatever edges he could find.

I don’t really want to touch upon all the allusions in this episode. They are abundant, they are well-documented, and also I haven’t even seen the movie After Hours. I enjoyed this episode for its allusive qualities and I enjoyed this episode for what it was and I feel like I have to be at peace with the fact that I’m never going to pick up on every single reference on this show and that is okay.

So, yeah, if this entry on my tumblr dot com blog seems remarkably devoid of references and allusions, it’s not because I’m not into it but because I find it too overwhelming to actually write about.

Very into the Misplaced and Discovered box at the Crown and Anchor. (That’s what Mae wrote on the Lost and Found box at the pub, right? Whatever it is, it’s so funny.)

Beard hallucinating Thierry Henry and Gary Lineker was truly upsetting and a great indicator not only of how broken things are between the Richmond coaching staff right now but also how deep Beard’s self-loathing might go. If you’d asked me before Thursday if I thought Beard loathed himself, I would say no. That deepening of knowledge alone makes 2x9 worth it.

James Tartt and his friends in the alley. Such a nightmare. I go back and forth on how much of the night was real, and part of me has decided all of it is, short of the images of Henry and Lineker. (And even that is real to the extent that it was a way of articulating what was in Beard’s head.) But watching Beard in physical danger brought on by the same abuser who had him so upset in the first place. It was a lot.

I’m so excited that Paul and Jeremy and Baz got some spotlight this episode. It was so wonderful to see them out of the pub. I love that they ended up telling the Oxford snots who they really were. They got to see Beard going to bat for them and smoothing over the situation socially, and that actually made it more possible for them to end up being truthful about themselves. Because they have nothing to be ashamed of, and they deserved the magic of that night. (And for it to end on Nelson Road. Every feeling. Oof.)

I feel like I barely have anything to say about the trouser-mending lady or the many places Beard goes or his key-dropping or the nightmarish feeling of wanting to be home and being unable to be home. It all happened and we all watched it and again, it was a lot. But I do feel incredibly moved and fascinated by the fact that Beard very obviously still hasn’t been home when he brings in the coffee. He’s had to sleep at the club for Jane- and key-related reasons in the past, and this time it’s not that he’s slept there but it still feels like a kind of homecoming he was robbed of for the entire night. Ted and Roy and Nate are there. He’s gotten their coffee orders correct. Ted is growing and evolving (he wants to learn from what’s happened, he’s insisting upon it even when the others resist) but he’s done a really perfect (almost romantic in its loveliness) thing by presumably spending his evening following a breakdown of his own speeding up the game film to 10x speed and adding Benny Hill. Ted is not OK and Beard is not OK and Nate is not OK and Roy is pretty OK but could very easily be not OK because he’s just joined a coaching staff with a whole lot of not OK. But they all showed up.

I am very into the realism of the lights being off in the club other than the coaches’ office (@talldecafcappuccino pointed this out!), and the way we’re seeing their desks from a different angle because this episode is unfocused on Ted. It really added to the mindset of being hungover and exhausted and unable to go home or even to know exactly what home should be; even this warm, familiar place feels off even as it’s a relief to be back there.

I am excited to return to our regularly scheduled programming with the full cast of characters, but I really adored this episode for what it taught us about Beard and what it illuminated about the humor, pain, and complexity of each person who inhabits this universe. Beard may not be loud about his long-standing beliefs or about the things he’s learned, but there’s a lot happening in there and I appreciated getting to spend 43 minutes with him and (in the case of the ticket he scrawls on a piece of paper so the pub guys can get into Nelson Road) the moments he sets in motion.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #ted lasso 2x9 #meta by me #a lesbian watches ted lasso #coach beard

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ckret2 · 2 years

Note

Do you by chance have any advice for people that want to get into RPing but have never really done it before? It looks fun!

yeah here's a few. Note that this is geared specifically toward tumblr RP, not like, D&D or something.

So here's some ✨total beginner advice.✨ Most of this is geared toward How To Maximize The Odds That People Will Want To Give RPing With You A Shot; learning to be good at actual roleplay takes time, as it depends on both writing skill and teamwork, but step 1 is like, not accidentally scaring off people because you don't know local etiquette.

First: if you've got friends who are already RPing go to them first lol. Buddies are more willing to help you figure out the lay of the land and help hold a newb's hand through figuring out what works and what's a faux pas.

If a roleplay blog gets a new follow and/or message from somebody they don't know, the very first thing they're gonna do is click on your name and glance at your blog. Make it easy for people to find the important stuff fast! If your roleplay blog is a sideblog to your main, include a link to your RP blog in a pinned post so it's clearly available. On your roleplay blog, make it quickly obvious what people can expect to find. A description with a deep, meaningful song lyric is no good to someone trying to figure out wtf you offer unless you remember to include "(RP blog for Blorbo from My Show)" at the end of the description.

And following up on "help people find the important stuff fast": you want to actually have some RPing on your blog. After looking at someone's description & pinned post, the next thing they do is scroll down and skim the first few posts to see how you write. Since a new blog obviously doesn't have any roleplay threads somebody can read, I generally suggest that a new blog post a drabble or two in-character, both to help you get a feel for writing your character and to let anyone visiting your blog see how you write.

Lots of RPers add info pages to their RP blog. The most common info pages are a Rules page (most often: who you will/won't interact with, what kinds of plots you will/won't write about, if you tag any specific content) and, secondly, an About page (usually a bio about your character; some are long, they don't need to be). Info pages aren't mandatory, but some RPers are wary of someone who doesn't have one. If you're like "damn I can't think of any rules tho???" you can always say something like "I'm new to RP and don't have rules yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ be nice plz" and some folks will be more forgiving lol.

If you do have info pages, make sure they're easy to access for someone clicking on your blog the first time. These days, usually that means including the links to them in a pinned post, since that's most easily accessible on mobile.

When you want to reach out to somebody, first check their blog to see if they have info pages. If they do, at BARE MINIMUM read their rules page. Respect their rules! If they say "i don't want to roleplay XYZ plot lines" and XYZ plot lines are the only thing you want to roleplay then just leave 'em alone! Most RPers will be miffed if it's clear you haven't read their about page, so it's optional but highly recommended; but reading someone's rules is mandatory courtesy.

The most common thing you'll see RPers say "if they don't have ___ I won't interact with them" over is listing your age. There's a lot of adults who don't want to write with kids and kids who don't want to write with adults. If you're not comfortable listing your age in your bio, that's cool—just be aware that it'll be a trade-off, maintaining privacy means not getting to interact with people who don't want to interact with someone whose age they don't know. If you want to split the difference, some people leave it at "I'm over/under 18" and that's enough to satisfy some people who want to know ages.

Okay so that's my general Getting Into RP new blog setup advice!!! Now here's a list of totally subjective opinions that I offer as sagely advice but that people will disagree with me on because it's mainly a bunch of pet peeves lmfao:

If you're RPing in a fandom instead of with OCs, don't tag the names of the canon characters involved every time you make a new post. It's kinda acceptable for a brand new RP blog if they're still trying to drum up a little attention; but even as borked as tumblr's coding is, there are still people that follow tags to try to find fanart and meta posts and announcements about canon and stuff. If somebody is trying to look for cool posts about barbie dolls they don't want to see five posts in a row from some RP blog like "Anon: hey Ken, are you and Barbie still fighting? Ken: Ugh, yeah it sucks. #barbie #ken #life in the dreamhouse"

Some blogs like to make extremely fancy formatting! Meticulously spaced and aligned text, tiny text, colored text, multiple fonts, fonts they copy/pasted from other sites, etc. But the more fancy your formatting is, the more people it will be inaccessible for. Special characters break or display as boxes on older devices, precisely-spaced margins break in weird places when switching between desktop/mobile devices, weird characters & colors are rough on people with vision impairments, and if somebody's using a screen reader/text-to-speech a lot of the fancy formatting options prevent it from reading out correctly. If you want to not passively inconvenience some of your potential RP partners, keep the formatting simple.

Lots of blogs use icons—little bits of artwork to convey your character's expression/emotions. They're not mandatory! If you think they'll add to your fun then use them. If you don't think they'll add to your fun, don't feel like you've gotta put them in. If you do use icons, don't use somebody's fanart without permission. Notice I didn't even say "without credit"—I said "without permission." Unless they've got some kind of blanket "you can use my art for anything anywhere" statement on their art page, you've got to ASK THEM and GET A YES from them. Lots of people don't do this! You'll find people using fanart icons they got from someone who got it from someone else who got it from someone else who got it from an icon maker that releases icons in 500-image batches! I think it's rude. I don't even have a particularly #aesthetic art style but I'd be irritated if I discovered some RPer I'd never met before using a tiny filtered crop of one of my drawings in the middle of a dozen other tiny filtered crops of other people's drawings.

#anonymous #ask #roleplay

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mrkcore · 3 years

Text

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐧.𝐣𝐦

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: na jaemin x f!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: jaemin as DC’s nightwing/dick greyson, hero!jaemin

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you’re the one picking him up, piece by piece, even when you’re gone.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): profanity, character deaths, blood, gun use

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.3k (woopwoop!)

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: ghost of you - 5sos, lie to me - 5sos, woke up in japan - 5sos, want you back - 5sos, more - 5sos, better man - 5sos, moving along - 5sos, thin white lies - 5sos, red desert - 5sos, lonely heart - 5sos, high - 5sos (just me being 5 seconds of summer trash)

𝐚/𝐧: part of @nct-writers collab, the heartbreak hotel (this is probably the longest fic i’m ever going to write, so pls gimmie feedback i will love you forever)

“imagine you're watching a runaway trolley barreling down the tracks straight towards five workers who you do not know and can't escape. you happen to be standing next to a switch that will divert the trolley onto a second track. here's the problem. that track has a worker on it, too, just one, but they’re not a stranger. what do you do? do you sacrifice that one person to save five?”

jaemin regrets being the hero in the story.

jaemin regrets everything.

he constantly ponders the situation playing out where he wasn’t the protagonist. people have always said, “a hero would sacrifice you to save the planet, but a villain would sacrifice the planet to save you”. jaemin always thought that was bullshit, but now he knows the despairing truth.

he regrets, he regrets, he regrets. but regret won’t bring you back.

you seemed so sure when you told him to let you go and it’d be okay, it wasn’t his fault. how was it so easy for you to think and say that? not his fault? he was basically the reason you’re dead. he just found you after so many years, now you’re gone again; but this time, it’s for real, forever.

jaemin remembers the cold tiny room he was forced to sleep in with the other children in the circus.

it was a nightmare every single day. with kids screaming, singing, laughing, and running around the room, nobody could get any sleep. what made it worse was that jaemin had no one to talk to.

none of the other boys liked him, being handsome, dubbed the “face of haly’s circus”, always talking behind your back how the boss always favoured him because he was bringing so many more views in. girls swarming around jaemin ever since him and his parents ever joined, it was so obvious that he was the most popular. jaemin never liked the attention, he was only trying to survive after all.

then, you arrived.

y/n, the confounding witch, they called you.

conjuring up little tricks for audience members, brewing up drinks to transform participants into different species of animals, and controlling birds in cages were only a few acts you could do.

the first day boss introduced you to everyone, you seemed so bright and excited to be joining. your unique eye smile, bubbly personality, and caring nature drew jaemin to you. he’s seldomly trying to calm the younger kids down so everyone can rest, but your patience and compassion towards the kids were something they weren’t used to, and eventually caved in.

soon, it became quieter in that god awful room jaemin always dreaded. but jaemin's heart beat louder in his chest than ever.

jaemin was never one to show off. like we established before, the attention jaemin got was not appreciated by him. except, it became different when you arrived.

he was constantly trying to impress you, sway you, hoping the things he did for the crowds of girls that rushed to buy tickets to see him, would work for you too.

however, that was just his wishful thinking.

you were unlike any of the interactions jaemin had with the opposite gender. you were confident, yet humble, witty, intelligent, and easy-going. he is constantly flustered whenever he is engaging in a conversation with you, but tries to act nonchalant whenever he knows you’re nearby.

after shows, girls screamed and bolted towards the entrance where jaemin stood for exit duty, to say goodbye to patrons. he’d always try to be paired with you for it, trying to make you jealous.

but of course that never happened. jaemin would always be trampled by his enthusiastic female supporters, as surges of them stopped to interact with him. flirting with them all at the same time, they all swooned over your charms. he’d always see you giggle, laughing at his bursts of confidence he’d never have with you by yourselves.

this continued for a year, until one day, you let something slip.

“ladies, ladies, i’m so glad you could join us for today.” jaemin smiled at the groups in front of him, glancing at you walking an elderly couple out of the tent. “make sure to take good care of yourselves, wouldn’t want anything happening to any of you sweet gals.” and cue the squeals.

“hope you had fun pretty boy.” you directed to him calmly, as you walked back into the circus. jaemin’s head snapped to stare at your back. he’s stunned, did you just call him a “pretty boy”?

remembering that the crowd in front of him was still there, he reacted quickly.

“i guess it’s time for me to go, i’ll catch you lovely girls at my next show, i hope.” he leaves with a wink, following your path straight towards you.

finding you in your little assigned room, jaemin barged in, gaze fixated right on you, not even thinking what to say.

“oh, jaemin, hey.” you say, not even batting an eye, you’re focused on the book in your hands. “what’s up?”

“you called me pretty boy.” he breathed out.

“yeah i did,” you’re still not paying attention to him. “what about it?”

“you think i’m pretty?” jaemin is suddenly very close to you, his hand caressing your face, lifting your line of sight up to meet his gaze.

his eyes are sparkling, cheeks a slight tint of pink, with a look of determination. of course you thought he was pretty, anyone who said otherwise would either be lying, or have never seen his gorgeous face.

jaemin must’ve been acting impulsively, because when he realized how close he was to your face, he immediately pulled back.

“i am so sorry,” he says in disbelief. “i don’t know what came over me.”

“it’s okay,” you smile at him, grabbing his hand to where it was before. “i liked it.”

jaemin is flustered again, standing completely frozen as he admires your face up close.

you’re breathtakingly beautiful. he’s known that you were attractive, but this just created even more butterflies in his stomach.

“and yes, i do think you’re pretty.” you wink at him.

and that’s where it started.

you and jaemin started spending time together more.

jaemin was still a bit nervous and frenzied at the beginning, but that melted away, and his flirty, outgoing, and annoyingly confident side was revealed to you.

you were also quite popular amongst the other boys in the circus, so when you two were seen more frequently together, they started spreading rumours about jaemin to get you two away from each other.

“oh jaemin’s just trying to use them.”

“jaemin thinks after getting with them, he’s going to cross all of the names off his list.”

“he’s such a player, y’n’s too good for him.”

of course you’d hear them more often than him, the guys would always say these kinds of things around you.

but you know they’re just trying to stir up trouble. so you ignore them.

just like how jaemin ignores the talk about you amongst his female supporters.

“she’s trying to take him away from us.”

“he’s not as happy anymore.”

“she thinks she’s all that, he’s probably just a new notch in her belt.”

of course jaemin would never listen to them. they’d never know about the secrets you had together, sneaking out of your rooms and sitting on the roof at night stargazing, your note exchanging, late night talks; they knew none of that.

“i wish things weren’t like this,” you sighed, leaning on his shoulder as you two look at the early sunrise. “i wish we could be free and do whatever we want. this is so unfair.”

jaemin has never really thought about that. every day, his head was flooded with you. but now he thinks about it, it truly was unfair.

jaemin wishes he could take you on on real dates, take you on meaningful trips to explore the rest of the world. not hidden in this awful place where you could barely talk to each other in public. jaemin wishes he could give you more.

“it’s not your fault nana,” you look up at him like you’ve read his mind and know he’s overthinking. “there’s nothing you can do.”

“yeah,” jaemin exhales. “i know.” he tries to smile when you reach up to caress his face, you look at him with so much fondness, jaemin’s worries are almost all blown away. but you know he’s going to be pondering about this for the next week.

“maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our wicked fate.”

but all the gossip got to the point where the boss heard about it, and asked you guys to talk in his office.

“i think we should end it here.” you say one night on the roof, seemingly out of the blue.

“what?” jaemin is speechless, where did that come from? did he hear you wrong?

“he literally asked us to talk,” you’re facing the ground, not even daring to look at him. “it’s serious this time.”

“so you’re going to just throw all of this away?” jaemin asks, slightly furious. “just because of what a bunch of losers are saying?”

“it’s for the best,” you’re still not looking at him. “for the both of us.”

when you finally do look up to see jaemin’s reaction, you see tears in his eyes and you wish you hadn’t looked up.

“fine, if that’s what you want.�� jaemin turns around and walks away, breaking that silence.

but what jaemin didn’t know was that it broke your heart to pieces. it took you so much courage to break it off with him, but in the end, you knew what boss haly was capable of. you needed to protect him, so if this is how it needed to go, it’s for the best.

the meeting the next day went smoothly, it was easy for both of you to deny everything since jaemin was giving you the cold shoulder. you didn’t need to pretend. it was for the sake of the both of you.

after the meeting, you didn’t get the chance to talk to jaemin as he rushed to get ready for his special act today. but it’s not like he would listen to you anyways, you couldn’t blame him.

you felt the aura of the circus today, it felt off. very off.

maybe it was because you were so shaken by you and jaemin's fight. maybe it was nothing, and you were just overreacting. everything was probably fine.

except it wasn’t.

as all of the spectators settled into their seats, when you tried to peak through the curtain to see the turnout, and as expected, it was packed.

but something catches your eye. a black raven flies in, the ambience in the tent suddenly changes so fast if gives you whiplash. this isn’t good. this isn’t good at all. something bad is going to happen, really bad.

you’ve never seen that bird in your entire life, and it suddenly hits you.

someone is going to die tonight.

you pray and pray it’s going to be fine, but the unsettling energy gets to you. you need to tell someone.

“jaemin, jaemin!” you call out to him. he turns around, but when he sees you, his face turns sour. your heart sinks, but what you’re about to tell him is more important, so you brush it away.

“what do you want.” he snarls, you gulp back a sob.

“something bad’s going to happen, i can feel it.” tears are threatening to spill out of you eyes. “someone’s going to die, and i don’t know what to do.”

“oh, so now you care?” jaemin rolls his eyes. “are you jealous that it’s my show tonight and all of those girls front row are here to see me and think they have a chance with me?” you’re shocked by his words, your eyes are wide. you never thought he was capable of saying something like that. “you’re just a little witch, and it’s all just an act. let it go.” tears stream down your face as jaemin huffs and walks away, strutting into the crowd as the ringmaster announces their act: “the flying greysons!”.

and jaemin was wrong. you were right. something awful happened that day.

jaemin watches helplessly as his parents’ high wires snaps and they pummel to their death.

you were right. and he couldn’t do anything about it.

jaemin runs away that night as he leaves you in that horrible place by yourself, and you never see him again.

and here jaemin is. 10 years after the incident, a college student by day, leader of a crime fighting superhero team by night.

after the incident of his parents’ death, mr. jung jaehyun finds him on his path. crying, sobbing, and vulnerable. jaehyun takes jaemin in under his wing. providing him shelter, food, and as much support as he could. jaemin slowly realized jaehyun’s second identity: batman.

jaemin has heard of jaehyun’s street name. but he’d never thought that he’d meet him in real life, and batman would be someone so similar to him. jaehyun saw a reflection of his younger self, the grief of losing your parents, the reality check of the world being a cruel place at a young age, he didn’t want jaemin to spiral in the same way he did.

so even though jaemin lived a life of normalcy, his past never stopped coming back to haunt him.

especially you.

jaehyun dug up some information about the circus, and piles and piles of their dark secrets were revealed. so did the truth of jaemin’s parents’ deaths too. how a well-known and feared crime-lord, threatened the circus unless the owner paid extortion money. boss haly refused, and that night someone messed with the equipment for the performance, resulting in the catastrophe.

you were right all along, and jaemin didn’t listen to you. it was his fault, everything was his fault.

he even left you there by yourself, all alone, and he never got to say goodbye. oh how wishes he could see you one last time, and say all those things he wanted to these years.

nightmares woke him throughout elementary school, middle school, high school, and even sometimes during his college time.

the same dream over and over, you reaching your hand out for jaemin to grab and save, but he’s too far away. and you fade away.

inspired by what jaehyun did to help him, jaemin started to do the same.

with a bunch of lost and uncared for young kids in new york, jaemin took them under his wing like jaehyun did with him.

with help from trusted individuals he met on the street, mark, renjun, jeno, and haechan, they started to take care of chenle and jisung full time. getting them off the street, given proper shelter, food, water, clean clothes, and access to education, this was the start of the dreamies.

today was the same as any other.

jaemin’s philosophy and law studies class has just finished up and he’s walking to his favourite cafe to finish up some work.

“jaemin?” he hears a familiar voice behind him.

he turns around and sees you. you haven’t changed a bit, still as homely and comforting as he can remember.

is he in a dream right now? how is this possible?

“oh gosh, it really is you.” you laughed, the same laugh you had. jaemin feels this unknown warmth and reassurance with you here, like a weight has just been lifted off his shoulders.

“y/n.” he finally speaks. your eyes glimmer, looking at him affectionately.

“yep, right here in the flesh.” jaemin starts tearing up. “oh you big baby, why are you crying?”

jaemin pulls you in as he hugs your waist.

surprised by his emotional state, you were going to speak up again. but you choose not to. standing there, a bit awkwardly, stroking his soft hair, embracing him.

and you’re back.

jaemin learns that you recently moved to new york city recently for your journalist job position, and you’re looking for a place to move in to.

he’s quick to offer his place, even though he’s still in college, his apartment is big enough for two people.

“are you sure?” you’re hesitant to accept his suggestion. “i don't want to be a big burden. you’re probably really busy as a student.”

“no, i’m fine.” he responds, enthusiastically. “my schedule is pretty much free since i’m third year now.”

and you accept. saying you’re only going to crash for a while until you found another place.

cherishing the time you had together, during the day, jaemin went to his lectures while you went to work, but when you got home, you did everything together. to the point where jaemin barely saw the dreamies, his crime-fighting crew.

staying up to watch the stars and sunrise, talking and laughing until your eyes were threatening to close. conversing about literally anything.

but as time went by, you noticed that jaemin didn’t really want to talk about what happened back at the circus. you understood since he lost his parents that night, but he never asked you about how you left and ended up in new york. but you don’t push it, you understand that it’s a rough patch in both of you guys’ lives.

“do you have anything that you regret?” you ask one night, you truly were just curious.

“not listening to you that night.” he says, monotone. “and leaving you by yourself at the circus when i ran away.”

“jaemin…” you start, but no words leave your mouth.

“fuck!” jaemin abruptly exclaims, mood crashing, turning furious. “it’s all that bastard haly’s fault.”

you shouldn’t have asked.

“if he didn’t make that fucking circus, everything would have been fine! it’s his fault, all his fault, i’m going to get revenge and kill that son-of-a-bitch one day!” he’s yelling now. “we could have met in normal circumstances, we could’ve gotten married, created a family, enjoyed life like all of these snarky city folk. why?”

you wipe the tears that are rolling down his face as he turns to cry in your chest.

“i’m sorry i brought this up.” you pat his head as his sobs turn into soft snores, head in your lap. “maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.”

it’s been a year now. it doesn’t seem like you’re moving out anytime soon, but jaemin’s not complaining. he loves having you here, you’ve become a standard part of his day.

with jaemin more adapted to your appearance, he has started to become more involved with the dreamies.

helping 10-15 kids each month, the squad has advanced to milestones jaemin never thought it’d be at. he is so thankful to have the group and you there supporting him.

you’ve even discussed marriage.

“y/n na has a nice ring to it, y’know.” jaemin beams.

“you’re such a softie.” you giggle out, but jaemin knows you like it.

jaemin knows you want to wait until you have a stable job and when he graduates, but the thought always makes him elated.

“what song would you play for our first dance at out wedding?” he asked one morning, waking up to the sun shining heavenly on you.

“hmm,” you grin. “best part, daniel caesar, h.e.r.”

“you’re perfect.” jaemin kisses your face as you cuddle into his warm chest.

imagining you in a white dress, walking up to the alter on your wedding day, saying your vows, slow dancing. you’re the only person jaemin has visioned a future with, and the only person jaemin wants a future with.

the next day, you agree to slow dance with him in the living room.

jaemin is on cloud nine.

but like the old saying, all good things must come to an end.

it’s been 5 years now.

jaemin comes home one night to the apartment door open, which is really unusual.

jaemin thinks it might be a robbery, but nothing is stolen, the apartment looked the same as it was when he left this morning.

but you’re nowhere to be found. jaemin isn’t panicked, maybe you went on a walk and forgot to close the door–

there’s a note on the dining room table.

“meet me on the top of the empire state building to see y/n, if you bring someone else, it’ll be for the last time.”

what is that supposed to mean?

was it one of the dreamies’ past enemies trying to get back at them?

nonetheless, jaemin is bolting out the door.

when he gets there, he sees the dreamies tied up, sitting and struggling at the feet of someone jaemin never thought he’d see ever again. c.c. haly, the owner of haly’s circus jaemin escaped a whole decade ago.

haly smirks as he sees jaemin approaching, but jaemin is scowling.

“what are you doing here?” jaemin snaps out, carefully advancing.

“i’m here to finish what you started.” haly says.

“how did you even find me?” jaemin snarls, stopping a fair distance between him and haly. “how did you find my friends?”

unexpectedly, haly starts to cackle loudly at his questions. turning around to reveal someone who has been absent, someone jaemin would never have thought of.

you.

jaemin’s mind is internally crashing. why are you with haly? what is going on?

“y/n, do you want to explain to our dear jaemin here what’s going on?” haly finds so much amusement playing with you both, watching this event unfold.

“jaemin, i’m so sorry.” your lips are trembling, tears are starting to flood your vision.

“so it was all a lie?” jaemin can’t believe it. “everything that happened this year, it was just you building up to just stab me in the back?”

“i did it to protect you.” you’re sobbing hard now.

“save it.” jaemin cuts you off, now focusing on haly. “what do you want.”

“i want you dead.” haly says, blankly.

“so what’s the deal.” the dreamies’ mouths were duct taped, but their muffled cries can still be heard.

haly is howling again.

“i get to kill you,” haly grins sinisterly. “and i let y/n and your little friends free.”

“if jaemin says yes, let me say one last thing to him.” your crying has stopped. “it’s the least you can do.”

jaemin is confused. are you just offering him up to haly with no fight? what are you thinking?

you look at him with pleading eyes, asking him to trust you.

the same eyes he saw that day his parents died, and he knows to trust you.

“okay,” jaemin states boldly. “i say yes. now let y/n talk to me.”

haly is stunned. how did you convince jaemin to agree so quick? maybe haly was right to use you this time. the least he could do is to let jaemin and you have time to still pretend to be in love. so haly allows you to walk up to jaemin to talk.

“y/n, what are you doing.” jaemin whispers frantically.

“trust me, trust me this time.” you glance at him with weary eyes. “when i’m walking back to haly, when i signal to you, i want you to grab your friends and run. can you do that for me?”

“what?” jaemin tries not to react to much that haly catches on, but do you hear what you’re suggesting? “you want me to just leave you here again?”

“jaemin listen to me, i’ll be fine. trust me.”

and you turn around, not letting jaemin respond.

there’s nothing he can do but go along with your plan.

and when you signal to him behind your back, jaemin grabs the dreamies and drags them away. everything is a whirlwind and happens in a flash. jaemin looks back and you’re struggling trying to get the gun out of haly’s hand.

you notice jaemin stopping.

“jaemin, fucking RUN.” you scream at him.

there’s nothing he can do. and he hates himself that he got himself in this situation again. so he runs again, like the coward he is.

jaemin runs, because literally the dreamies’ lives are depending on him. when he gets them to safety, when he unties jeno, jeno pushes him towards where they came from.

“go.” jeno is huffing trying to catch his breath after removing the duct tape off his mouth. “i’ll untie everyone else, go get her.”

jaemin looks at jeno, and turns back for you.

when jaemin arrives back at the scene, you’re on the ground. he runs panic-stricken to you, finding you bleeding out really hard.

“y/n? y/n, y/n please, are you okay?” he’s shaking you, distraught seeing you in this state.

“jaemin, i’m okay.” you say, barely any breath left in you. “i have the gun here, haly is behind the big box over there.”

“y/n, what are you talking about, we need to get you to the hospital.” jaemin tries to pick you up but you don’t allow him.

“use the gun and kill him.” you mutter out, quieter than before. “it’s what you wanted, jaemin. and he’ll be gone.” you’re smiling softly just thinking about it.

“y/n, are you insane? you’re going to die i could care less about haly, i’m taking you to the hospital–”

“jaemin let me go.” you mumble, stroking his cheek while you’re examining his pretty face for the last time. “it’ll be okay, it’s not your fault.”

“y/n…” jaemin’s tears are staining his shirt as he holds you tightly, trying to preserve your life.

“i love you, na jaemin.” a tear falls from your dazed gaze and trickles down your cold face. “i’m sorry that this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.”

and you’re gone.

jaemin screams. tears dripping down his face, he picks up the gun beside you and storms towards haly.

he’s basically sitting in a pool of his own blood and has no strength to get up anymore.

“is little greyson here to get revenge for his parents and little witch y/n?” he cackles even in the last moments of his life.

“yeah i am, they didn’t die for you to see another day too.”

haly is laughing sadistically again as if jaemin just told a joke, but the laughter subsides after the bullets fire through haly’s limp body.

and he’s dead too. leaving jaemin alone, again.

it’s been 2 years since you’ve died.

here he is, waking up. still can’t sleep on your side.

he really can’t sleep on your side, because it reminds him of those times where he woke up to your warm embrace, and now it’s desolately cold.

there’s your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time.

he’s saved everything you had, and hasn’t touched anything. he’s also saved everything you shared, your bed, your apartment, everything. he needs those to remind him of those bittersweet memories of you.

when jaemin was going through your stuff, he finds a piece of paper on your work desk.

my dear jaemin,

when you find this, i’m probably going to be gone. but that’s okay, and i’ll tell you why.

first of all, thank you so much for these past 5 years. thank you for showing me what living life is like, what being a part of a family is like, and what being in love is like. you told me you wished you could give me a normal life, and you really fulfilled your wish.

you must have so many questions right now, so i’m going to answer them.

i never left haly’s after you ran away. i couldn’t. because he was threatened by so many mobs and gangs everywhere, he had to kill off the other people that were a part of the circus. but he kept me. because i was the key to you. the government started an investigation into him, and he needed to keep a low-profile, but he still was angry that you didn’t die that night too. so he plotted this for years, and i just had to go along with it.

at first, i only agreed because i wanted to see you. i was young and still naive at the time, thinking that he wanted to see you too. but as i got older, i saw what he was planning. he would kill me in front of you and then take you out as well if i didn’t do as he said, so i kept quiet. i really did this to protect you.

i enjoyed every second being with you. you showed me the meaning of life i heard our patrons talk about. you showed me what true love was when i saw those elderly couples walking together as they look at each other adoringly while telling me they’ve been in love and married for decades. if i could choose to stay with you for a lifetime, i would, i would choose it a million times.

but i thought very long about this, and it truly is the only way.

remember when i asked you if you regretted anything that night? you mentioned how you regretted not listening to me, how you left me alone at the circus. and that’s when i realized, it was indeed our cruel fate.

you feel bad for me. you feel bad that you didn’t listen, you feel bad for leaving me at the circus, but it’s been over a decade. i know with me constantly here, you’re never going to stop feeling guilty, you’d never let the past go. we’re too young, too dumb, to know things like love. but i know better now.

so jaemin, i did what i had to do. the best for the both of us. you got your revenge for your parents, and you’ll stop feeling guilty because i don’t want to hold you back and keep you feeling like this forever.

i’m sorry jaemin i put you through all of this, and reminder that this is not your fault.

my love, nana, truly, truly, truly, thank you for everything. everything, everything, everything.

there wasn’t a single day where i stopped wanting you. i want you in the most innocent form, i want to say goodnight to you and give you forehead kisses and say i love you when you feel at your worst. i want you in ways where i just want to be next to you and nothing more or less. i wish i could explain your eyes, oh how i adore your angel eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. how your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time i’m with you, i feel so complete. i swear when our lips touched, i could taste the remaining years of my life. i want you to know that when i picture myself happy, it’s with you.

i’ve looked at you in millions of ways, and i have loved you in every way.

but this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.

my pretty boy, i love you forever.

his tears are ruining the page, and jaemin tries to wipe his tears away to save the letter.

when he turns around, he swears he can see you. and he chases it down, with a shot of truth.

maybe if he dreams long enough, you’d tell him he’d be just fine.

walking into the living room, remembering how you guys would slow dance like it was your wedding. your wedding.

and he drowns it out, like he always does. dancing through your house, with a shot of truth, that his feet don’t dance, like the way they did with you.

jaemin knows your letter was right, he’s going to slowly get better, but he needs some time. meanwhile, he needs something help him cope, to get him by.

so he’s dancing through your house, with the ghost of you.

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idanit · 3 years

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possibly underappreciated Good Omens fics I enjoyed once upon a time

Indirectly inspired by a video series about fanfiction I watched, I decided to pull together a list of Good Omens fics I have bookmarked as stories I enjoyed, but which have less than 250-300 kudos at the time I’m writing this. No particular order. They’re accompanied by short excerpts from my private fic reading notes (not originally intended to be read by anyone but me, mind), sometimes slightly edited for clarity—and, sometimes, the comments I left on the fics.

This list sat in my drafts for a long time and the recent S2 announcement reminded me of it. I’d love it if it inspired you to do something similar! Spread the love.

And mind the tags, please.

△ = general and teen ▲ = mature and explicit

thermodynamic equilibrium ▲ 7K the author has such an ear for dialogue and is unapologetic about what they want to write the characters like. They think of the characters as a mix of TV and book canon, but they feel like a homemade blend to me. (...) It’s very funny.

such dear follies ▲ 6K I can really picture this Aziraphale—Crowley as well, but her especially. She’s rather distinct. (...) Nice writing.

The Words Were With - △ 1.2K post-Blitz vignette, Aziraphale realizes what he feels and wonders if they're human enough for this. I liked it, and I liked the tag "transhumanism, but in reverse?", too—what an interesting idea. I'd say it's a vignette in a dire need of a follow-up, but, well, there's the show. The show is the follow-up. It fits very nicely within the canon and I totally believe it could have happened, like a deleted scene.

Gossip and Good Counsel △ 19K/? I love their companionship and how they're set up to be opposites by the management even though they get on pretty well. It feels very in keeping with the canon, but I feel like the fact that it's an F/F set in this particular time period adds a meaningful layer to the situation. It's women supporting each other in the world of men, working with the personas that are created for them, but, privately, being normal, well-rounded people. (...) and of course your writing is always a pleasure to read. (...) SDHDGDHDHDG Maisie is truly an Aziraphale.

Crowley Went Down to Georgia (he was looking for a soul to steal) △ 6K This was nice. Based on a song I didn’t know. Crowley goes to a funeral in the USA, one of a fiddler he knew and lost a bet to once. (...) The fic has not one but two songs composed for it and embedded inside it and that makes it even better. I really enjoyed the experience.

The Thing With Feathers △ 18K WARLOCK you'rE HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT I would read an entire novel-length fic just of Crowley fighting his battles with Warlock. Written like this? It would be a blast. (...) The OCs are believably characterized and well-loved by the story. (...) Everyone seems to need a friend in this house. (...) This was so fun, and at the same time, their mission has weight here (...) We wonder about what the future holds even though we know it.

Here Quiet Find △ 11K This fic aimed for my head and the aim was sure precise. It was a story of Crowley sensing Aziraphale's distress and finding him in a self-quarantined English village in the seventeenth century, tired and anxious. It's hurt/comfort, so there was washing and bedsharing and I had to love it, so I did.

outside of time △ 2K Post-Almostgeddon, (...) nicely-written, short, but strung with a soft kind of tension and unspoken words. There's no drama, just "can we really", and "do you really" of sudden freedom. They fall into being inseparable. Book canon, which I like for this story (sitting on a tarmac). I liked the footnotes. There's a mention of Eliot. All in all, very much yes.

She'asani Yisrael △ 2K It’s Crowley going through a two-hour service and drinking blessed wine. He also keeps an eye on a boy he was asked to. It’s 1946. It was pretty good, so far the best Jewish GO fic, I think, from the ones I’ve read.

To Guard The Eastern Gate △ 11K I loved it. You really made Sodom feel lived-in; the description of Keret, Hurriya and Yassib's house and relationship were great. I got attached to both them and the city (...) Aziraphale and Crawley’s interactions were generally very entertaining. I laughed (...) Your rendering of their voices just lands so well (...) But then oh, the entire ending (...) hurt, hurt a lot, and your descriptions are so vivid.

If you’ve been waiting (for falling in love) △ 14K AAAAA a good ending line. The whole paragraph, in fact. I love a good smattering of philosophy in my fics, and this was really nice. I can get behind Thomas Aequinus's and Crowley's view on eternity. It's (...) a pretty simple fic (...) - the courage to express yourself and take a risk is awarded with winning what was at stake by the virtue of reciprocity - but the way it was intertwined with a study of how they would experience a forever was done well.

Holy unnecessary ▲ 2.2K It's well-written. (...) this is my type of sexual humour if I have any. So subtle. Blink and you'll miss it. Lovely.

The Parting Glass △ 17K Through the ages, they're dancing around their relationship until after the Armageddoff. (...) Wow, this was really, really nice. Very simple in its concept and nothing I haven't read before, but very well-executed. (...) AAAAH I LOVED the first chapter. I always like abbeys as settings, that's a given, but the banter, the good writing, the moral ambiguity!

Name The Sky △ 33K This Crowley is different, but very intriguing. Without his sarcastic talk, and much more animalistic. (...) I love how expressive Crowley is. (...) This fic has a very nice balance of drama and levity. I don't love Crowley-before-the-Fall stories very much, but with this execution I can read about it. (...) Okay I've read Crowley offering fruits, and even Aziraphale biting fruits, but the two of them sharing the apple? Outstanding. Ingenious. What a take.

A Flame in Your Heart △ 5K post-Blitz (why are so many dance fics post-Blitz?), they go to the bookshop and have an actually believable conversation. Then they dance the gavotte. It was really nice! Believable writing, emotions, the dancing! (...) Of course it's too early for them, (...) but the author's note? yeah.

Put down the apple, Adam, and come away with me ▲ 32K At this point it's just reading original stories with characters with names and some personality traits that I recognize. (...) I really enjoy this, the careful dance, the opposition between their views. (...) This is well-written, wow. (...) it's not an easy read (...) this story feels very believably 50s, but also reaches out to the present time.

Liebestraum ▲ 10K/? It really is like music. I'm enjoying the writing a lot. (...) oh my actual god. This, this? Wow, uh. This came for my throat. (...) THE MUSICAL COMPOSITION, THE MOTIF RETURNING, THE AUTHOR KNOWS WHERE IT'S AT (...) Excellent. This hits the right beats so precisely, (...) and with feeling, too.

Down Comforter △ 2.4K and they lay down in angeldown, a soft rug ‘neath their heads– alright. Well, Crowley lies under Aziraphale's wing on a Persian rug after the Apocalypse, and they talk (...). It was sweet.

The Corsair of Carcosa △ 5K Crowley wakes up from a nap, visits Aziraphale for some drinking, and they read The King in Yellow that he happens to own. Good writing, so I'm bought. Aziraphale mentions Beardsley, so I'm bought twice over. My god, a discussion of etheral/occult madness? Caused by some wrong/true reading? Yes.

Very Good, Omens! △ 6K It's rather well-written, well-pastiched. People don't do that too often, nowadays - try to write in the style of a particular writer. (...) I love wordplay like this.

Reviving Robin Hood: The Complicated Process of Crème Brûlée △ 30K it's well-written (...), has a rhythm to it, and quiet humour. (...) Finally some nice, good, light writing. The attention to detail! (...) I'm still reading most of it aloud, the rhythm of it compels me to. (...) okay this does sound like Pratchett&Gaiman, the Good Omens itself (...) The fic is meandering, hilarious, sensitive in all the right places, and overall lovely.

my dear acquaintance △ 1K Oh. Oh. Yes, yes! Aziraphale in Russia, Russia I've never been in, but I can feel the snow and the evening of. Very real, and the bar, too. Attention to detail - vodka flavoured with dill, what on earth? Yes. He would totally have a distinct taste in operas and he would totally complain about a subpar one. I'm glad Tchaikovsky's there.

there is a crack in everything △ 1.8K This was good! Ah. Inspired by a comment (...), I went looking for Mr. Harrison and Mr. Cortese fics—really, what a big brain moment someone had and why have I never thought to look for them? This is Crowley getting suddenly anxious and Aziraphale going out of his way, through all his layers of not-thinking and denial, to console him. I also really liked how the Arrangement is a carefully unacknowledged partnership-marriage.

Scales And Gold And Wings And Scars △ 6K No conflict, no plot, one tiny arc like a ripple on the surface of water on a calm sunny day - of Aziraphale discovering Crowley’s scars. It's the South Downs and it's early summer. They bask and swim in a spring. Non-sexual nudity, love in the air like a scent. Nice.

Nineteen Footnotes In Search Of A Story △ 0.4K This is a Good Omens story told only through footnotes. Your mind can fill in the gaps. Fascinating (...). Also, it’s an experiment so apt for this particular fandom.

Hell on Earth △ 6.5K Oh, I loved it! How could I not love it: it's Beelzebub-centric, it's historical, it has classical painting, and even a hilarious scene with a cuneiform phrase, as if I didn't enjoy this story enough already. There are so few Beelzebub fics out there and I find searching for them very difficult (I accept recs if anyone has any), and it's such a shame, so this was really like a gift to the fandom. I absolutely adore the way you portrayed them, small, frightening, powerful, and confident. Also, it was super fun to see how different Crowley seems when we're not in his POV or in a story about him and Aziraphale. (...)

Go Up to Ramoth-Gilead and Triumph △ 24K Daegaer is... pure class. (...) hdhdhdh what pfttt why you so funny (...) I love this Crowley. (...) This got unexpectedly intense. (...) I love the little nods to the fact that Israelites, especially the poorer ones, still believe in other gods. I also really like that they sleep on roofs. It's just the kind of detail that grounds the story and shows that the author is, in fact, a historian.

#good omens #good omens fic rec #fanfiction #fic rec #idanit reads #i also have a multifannish F/F rec list in the works #all my bookmarks are private but i feel the need to share the love

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aeempress · 3 years

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Apritello Express Evidences, part 1

Greetings, Apritello enthusiasts and attention! Here comes a loong post is written by totally nerd. You've been warned. Here we go.

The thing is that Apritello is a double-edged sword. The series shows us established friendship of these two, give us a lot of content with them. We can see development of relationship through interaction between the characters, their reaction about the situations they are put in. We can sense their synergy and bound through the show.

Donnie and April have incredible chemistry, and both options, brotp and otp seems fine to me.

But let me tell you why I ship them.

Apritello is the kind of pairings, which consists of small details, hints, that's hidden, but if you're sharp and attentive one, you will notice that. Apritello has a strong foundation: the best friends trope.

And from the very beginning, it works as planned.

When I start watching show, I could say that April and Donnie are best friends. It is worth noting that April is like an older sister to the other brothers, more of a sisterly figure than a friend, but with Donnie she behaves somewhat differently, namely, as best friend. Obviously, she sets him apart from his brothers, although girl tries to pay attention to all of them equally. And Donnie behaves as well.

Dee's battle shell designs for April needs as well as his. His shell transform into comfy spot for taking ride for April. Special and only for her. Because his bros are not supposed to use it (at least, he carries no one on his back), Donnie carries them by his techno-bó or his limbs.

This tiny detail shows his special treatment to her. April is a very, very special occasion to D. Don does care about her comfort, he accept the way she is. Donatello does not try to prevent her from participating in their affairs because he respects her decisions and is pleased that April can be shoulder to shoulder with him.

D is glad to be at her service.

Yeah, Dee's still playing cool, he has image to perform as tough and coolheaded guy. So Don doesn't show his intentions, interest and feeling to other people (he's tryin', but fails). Because his actions matter. They are always small, hidden, but meaningful.

April, in return, trusts Dee and depends on his tech, even knowing what his inventions are the opposite of success (usually).

Go on. Look at Donnie's facial expressions and body language when April is near.

Donnie seems more relaxed when she's around, happier. His emotional response is always different from his brothers ones.

Oh, and look, he wanted to be first to give her a high three.

They worry about each other. Look at Don. He does worry about her way more than his brothers. Yeah, they all want to protect her, but Donnie is more expressive.

Mayham has no particular sympathy for the brothers: he is afraid of Raph and behaves aggressively, he is indifferent to Leo and Mikey. Mayham immediately takes a liking to April. And then the details come back: he let Donnie touch his neck. The most vulnerable place for any living creation, for a second. Let him to study an important vial without any hesitation. Mayham depends on April trust for Donnie. When everything goes wrong for Don, the little doggie comes to his rescue, just as April would have done. Is the hint transparent enough?

We can see links with "A mystic library", wherе Donnie begins to look for solutions to save April's pet. Yes, this may seem like his next leap, "sit down, I'm smart, and now I'll solve all the problems, watch and learn," but Don says one phrase that opens up the veil of the second plan, what happens behind the scenes. "My illiteral colleagues and I was conducting a mustic research, with a life of the beloved pet, hanging in a bounce".

Strange wording, Donatello. Beloved pet? Not yours, as we can see. I can say, that everything in this sentence is true, but Donnie and Mayham has something more.

Continue. Next episode "Origami tsunami". Interactions are kept to a minimum, as April herself appears for a maximum of 5 minutes in the series itself. But devil is always in the details, dear friends.

When April was attacked and hung up, the only one who excitedly called out to her was Donny. Raph is furious that the thieves have escaped, Leo is frustrated that their plan has failed, and Mikey is worried about the salami.

Yeah, we didn't see his worries about her when she fell, because Donnie is on the mission and must be coolheaded turtle, and second, he's calm because now April life is safe and sound, out of the danger.

Dear passangers, Apritello Express arrives to the next station - episode "War and Pizza".

Bare facts:

1. April has Donnie's number on an emergency call.

2. "Anything for you"

3. Donnie is the reason why Alberto knows April's name.

No one calles April by her name (except for Donnie, while phone call, but Alberto wasn't nearby) it was "Captain O'Neil" by her chief, her badge seems blank. And yeah, you can say, that's just economy of budget, but I assure you: in the first episode we were shown the name of the delivery guy. The animators were not lazy bones and wrore "Stewart" on his badge. So if something isn't there, then it either shouldn't be there, or it really isn't, that's how this show works.

So, the reason explained in the episode. When Al has short circuit, parts of its new code flashed through its mind.

Info about April was in its memory, in its code. Alberto was a lame animatronic, and it seems somewhat outdated. I do really doubt about Alberto is being something smartass machine with complicated AI like Freddy's Pizza's ones. Quite questionable. Donatello fix Al's brain and wrote code, synchronize with his remote control. He put information about Cap O'Neil into animatronic's head. All this pictures are kind of massage: "You was created for birthday celebrations. You are machine, and there concepts of "life" and "birth". Do great party for this birthday kid and April won't be like this". Or, something like that.

So Alberto did - do a memorable party. And he do what his creator programmed him to do, but in his way.

4. In other words, Alberto was a tool to impress April. Don flaunts himself in front of her, stating how he did the upgrade while doing the upgrade, even though April is fully aware of his tech wizard. And his abilities supposed to help Cap O'Neil to finish the birthday party, so she will stay at her job, not fired. All thanks to Donnie and his upgrade Alberto. (Or not)

By the way, Donnie was the last to leave April in ruined "Alberto's". And it's not an isolated case, it is a pattern.

5. They understand each other without words.

First, Donny came at her at the speed of light. Second, she hadn't even finished speaking before Dee was taking Al apart. Third, their chaotic, well-coordinated work? Donnie was a distraction (although he wanted to just take a break from the battle or let Alberto's guard down, while April just knocked him out). Donnie and April are great team, and sometimes the DonniexApril team is much more precise, coordinated, and interdependent than the DonniexBrothers one.

D&A feel each other and anticipate each other's actions, their skills complement each other, creating an incredible synergy of their interaction. They act as a whole, while it's not always possible with his brothers, even though they're family and know each other the way more Donnie know April. And Dee hasn't trained with cap O'Neil.

Donatello didn't show his crush for April. No puppy, loving eyes, no lovey-dovey speeches, no planning schemes (at least, the audience don't see one) . He just want her attention, but stays cool and hidden. D is already her BFF, but still.

The same thing is claimed in 5B episode - Mascot Melee. Donnie has no problems with interaction with idol of his childhood - Atomic Lass. She'd put Leo in a stupor, but Donnie? He playfully challenges her to a dance duel. Yes, he adores this character, who may have become his measure of the attractiveness of others to Donatello, determined his type. But still, he's playing all cool and confident guy, he's really smooth with girls, so you will never see a puppy loving eyes from him. Only two things can betray him at this point: his voice and his body language. Remember, how's soft his voice became for Atomic Lass? Now I want you to remember the scene before, in turtle tank, when April sent guys a meme.

D is the first to respond to the message, despite the fact that Mikey is sitting closest to the screen. And the responding is a little too emotional for this situation, don't you think?

And this face of his. And he comments it. He likes her sense of humour.

The only difference between April and Atomic Lass is that the first one is a real girl who is a friend of their family, practically a member of it; and the other one is just a fictional character. It is easier to say about love for a fictional character, because it brings less problems for a teenager, especially when he is living with three brothers and a father who likes to tease as well. Donatello needs to be careful and outline the area of emotions he could show, so that he does not get hurt.

Now, dear passangers, we are returning to the previous episode, shall we?

Donnie presents to his brothers his precious Turtle tank, but she's gone, and it's really necessary to find out, who has taken her. And the first person to suspect is April.

Something is odd, don't you think? Yeah, Raphael has taken tyre for their "Midnight special", Leo claimed that Donnie's stuff is common, but they are D's beothers. It's natural for family to borrow(stole) stuff of each other. But this trend was not observed in April. She would never steal anything from Donnie, much less steal anything from him.

Actually, there is a good, logical and solid explanation here. April was number 1 in Donatello' suspect list, because he simply told her about Turtle tank. His brothers didn't know he were working at Moon buggy, except Mikey (Orange helps Dee get the vehicle from Repomantis), but they didn't know what exactly Donnie was working for. They didn't know he build the Turtle tank, he kept it a secret, to surprise his brothers. But April knew.

- Alright you! Where's our turtle tank?

- Hi, DONNIE. You have 9 seconds to say, why are you just broke my door.

- Someone's stole Donnie's turtle tank.

- Haha-ow, I see. As your best friend, you naturally suspect me.

- She gets it!

- Oh-ho, don't give me that! You're the only one could taken it!

The only one, because she knew about it.

As Splints said in this episode - "April is not a snitch"

Donatello does trust April and share with her both, sorrows and joys. But we are not shown this directly. We do not see the action itself, we do not see their calls and conversations on the phone late at night, we only see the consequence. We have no choice and take it as a given.

And the way she cooled him down? Fast, efficient, and Donnie seems to used to it. Moreover, she slapped everyone, but still, she throw Don out of window the last. However, why such a large time delay between him, being slapped and him, was throwing out of the window?

And my favourite scene. It was obvious that Donnie had taken the hardest hit (judging by his scream and the way he was putting his knuckles back in place). Don then claims that their inner circle is secure, Mikey tries to make amends for everyone, and April agrees, blowing them a kiss and closing the window. Cute and mean, isn't it? (You're cute! but mean! why do I always go for your type?! - ep. War and Pizza)

Nota bene: Donnie wouldn't apologize to April. Tough, not caring badass boy image, remember? Even to best friends. It's hard to him to express his feelings by using words, he cannot do it in proper way. But he has Mikey, who is so alike inner him. Michelangelo apologizes not only for himself, but for D mostly, because D starts suspected April.

Let's continue: the episode 8B: Hypno Part Deux

• Donnie put "Donnie's blocker" at April's phone to protect her.

It's common thing that your friend install some programs or apps on your device. But you will always ask your friend to do such a favour, and you will always know about what, when and where were installed on your phone.

And April didn't know Donnie had done something with her phone. It was a real surprise for her, to see blocker with "Donnie says no-no-no".

And you know, the interface of his app. The way he tell this current phrase. Donnie could put a huge banner "THE APP YOU WANT DOWNLOAD TO IS A REAL PIECE OF GARBAGE", as usual antiviruses do. But no, voice interface. It makes the app more personal and thoughtful. Because when Don made gifts for his brother, the program was voiced by a computer-generated female voice. Yes, the tank's interface is voiced by Donatello himself, but his voice sounds more like Google than the real Don. And, we talking about HIS BABEY, for a second. Bit still, the point remains.

• Also, Dale.

Dale is nerdy boy in purple, wow, how convenient for making a parallel with certain purple turtle.

But thing is, April doesn't like Dale. He's clingy, remora guy, who has a little obsession with April, even he's not harmful, still, such behaviour freaks girls (and not them only) out. Her classmate is usually tell her what April O'Neil is "his favourite person" and he loves her. There is little that is attractive about this behavior.

So, there is nothing new and unpredictable here that Dale was rejected. Because April didn't, doesn't and won't like him because of his lame personality and strange behaviour. Our girl in yellow do right thing: she clearly sets personal boundaries and does not allow any dubious personalities to invade them. So that's the reason she refuses to go on a date with him at the end. He's weird, obsessed, and she doesn't like him.

Donatello, as far as I concerned from different versions of TMNT, was always a little obsessive with some things. And, you know, putting a blocker inside your best friend's phone seems a little weird, because it's, in simple words, violation of privacy and personal space. And there are people who may regard this as stalking or sorta.

Yeah, for the most part, he gets away with it, not only because April's focus is in a different area, but also because their bond is stronger than April's with anyone else at school.

She has known him for years. Donnie is her best friend. I can't say that it's fine to her when Dee violates her personal space - her phone, but April can accept Donatello's personality in general.

And he does really have good intentions. Donnie installed this blocker, developed by himself only for one reason: to protect personal space April from fishy apps from nowhere, from being hacked and etc. Don knew her too well, how much she depends on stupid apps that will distract her. He also knew well, that he can't be with her 24/7 to fix problems with April's phone, so Dee put a part of himself to prevent any harm in the future.

And again, "Donnie's gifts"'s vibes. Donatello genuinely cared about April, because he wrote, coded, developed, designed, and dubbed it, turned on the database, and installed it all on April's phone. 'cause, you know, writing programs in general is a bit of a hassle, but writing an antivirus is much more difficult, because viruses are changing, and questionable applications are finding ways to bypass. Do you feel how much effort Dee put in for her?

But Donatello didn't mean to fix April, as he tried to do with his brothers. Purple turtle accepts this girl the way she is, and tries his best to play smoothly with April, by adjusting, not being passive aggressive jerk. It's his outstanding way to show his caring nature, soft side.

Remember, small but meaningful actions.

Maybe, Donnie also can foresee that April may be forced to download some suspicious program, but still, it work: he managed to prevent April being hypnotized, even if couldn't be physically with April at the this moment - Dee was working for Repo Mantis, building dog's paradise for Todd. That's why, by the way, Leo and Raph were dragged into this whole situation. Mayham would teleported literally anyone to help his hostess. Donnie just wasn't at the Lair at the moment.

And on this note, we'll take a break for now. Stay tuned, expect parsing of the series, there's a lot to discuss.

Part 2

Part 3

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