#the more likely it is that the damage done to my muscles becomes irreversible
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Hmmm what if i were to [EXPLODES EXPLODES EXPLODES]
#suddenly i am Antsy#i need Something. but i dont know What.#maybe i answer a couple asks or smth before bed.......... maybe#i got some sitting in there#and a lot that have been gathering dust#sigh. actually. i think the weight of today just hit me#having a lot of mixed feelings#uhh just so i dont say some cryptic shit n leave u all wondering:#i saw my neurologist about the MG treatment#she ordered another 6 months of infusions and prescribed a steroid#so i'm in for some pretty intense shit#and i have to deal with this wreaking havoc on my body while trying to finish my senior film#i asked if itd be possible to hold off until graduation and she said the longer we wait#the more likely it is that the damage done to my muscles becomes irreversible#so all of that is like. woof. that's uhh. heavy#but at the same time it's like#it's treatment!#the fight's not over!#she's confident they will get my voice back and i believe her#and im miles above where i was#so even if i didnt improve anymore id be happy#but man. this shit is hard dude#im so tired
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Aeipathy: Chapter Two
Disclaimer: i don’t (unfortunately) own Marvel or any of their characters, plot points, etc. so all right are to them and their our overlord Disney
AN: yeahhhh this one’s a shorty but i promise the next one will be longer and filled with plot and angst and shit so prepare yourselves <3
Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
TW: angst, mentions of torture, mentions of murder/arson, HYDRA collectively is a prick
Chapter One is available here!
Gnawing.
It claws through my body on all fours. Tearing, ripping, hacking, burning.
Monstrous fangs that sink into the deepest parts of muscle- I can feel it in my bones, the burning.
There is no noise, just the sound of whirring and the unholy screeching of demons in my ears. Faceless demons, demons whose faces have too much detail, demons that stare, demons that scream. Demons, demons, demons.
I have fallen. Fallen from grace. Fallen from…
No, no.
I am falling.
Something catches me. A savior in blue. Scarlet red smeared across their chest. Blood. My blood- the blood of sinners and saints and bystanders. Of children and ancients and of rich and poor.
There’s white streaked between the red. Piety. Purity. Righteousness. Desperately, I cling to the stark white stripes. Indecipherable mumbles pass my lips as I stare at the white. I beg for purity, to be clean again.
Every time I wake up, it’s always the same.
The immovable weight in my body. The unceasing shivering. The bite of frost. The writhing of filth in my veins. In my nerves. In every fiber of my being. Festering. Growing. Rotting. Corrupting. Remembering.
But why can’t I remember?
All I can remember are the demons. Faceless, nameless but never silent. Always screaming.
Screaming, screaming, screaming.
I cling to the white. The righteousness of my savior. Solidity in turbulence. Silence in cacophony. Purity. Cleanliness. Life.
I cling to life.
But life burns under my fingertips. It shrieks and squirms under my touch- tries to escape. Repelled by my presence, it retracts away from my grasp.
Color retracts into shapes as I take in my surroundings. An almost completely empty room completely made of concrete. A single contraption behind me made of metal. Icy fog slithers out of the open door, hissing and flicking at my ankles.
Words, however, remain blurred. The savior holds me upright- pulls me to my feet. Everything burns and aches. I’m so incredibly cold. Frosted water paints my skin, coats my clothes to my body. A puddle gathers beneath the writhing fog.
This seems familiar.
My eyes turn up towards my savior. The blood-stained guardian. Words fall from their lips, landing on deaf ears.
My body trembles as the cold becomes more vicious with its fangs. The savior turns away and says something. Everything is muffled- faraway and distant and like someone has their hands clamped down over my ears.
“Why am I awake?” I ask, straightening up. Every inch of me quivers while every part of me wishes to stop.
But I was awoken for a purpose. My mission.
And I’ll complete it.
Hail HYDRA.
Location: S.H.I.E.L.D. Headquarters
Date: 2012
“Woah, easy, ________,” I mutter, holding her upright. Her eyes wide, they flick around the room. Her hands grip my chest as she shakes violently.
She’s here. She’s alive.
She… she died. Died on that table- how is this…
“Steve,” Tony mutters, holding out a blanket. I take it and start to wrap it around her shoulders.
As her glazed eyes lock with mine, I look over her face. She’s drained of color- blue and white. Her chapped blue lips open and close violently.
Hoarsely, she starts to speak.
But not anything I can understand.
Over and over, she repeats questions with her eyes wide and wary of every moment and movement. My eyes dart over to Tony- who watches ________, his eyebrows furrowed.
Russian.
That’s what she’s speaking. Russian. And fluently. Extremely well. Why… Why is she…?
“She didn’t… usually speak like this, did she?” Tony asks, gesturing vaguely to her as she continues to shake in my arms. Broken words off a stolen tongue hiss past her lips. She furrows her eyebrows as she looks between the two of us.
“Her files told me she was-” Tony continues.
“She’s… she’s never spoken this before,” I mutter, adjusting my grip under her arms. “Raised in Brooklyn for most’a her life- I dunno why-”
“V chem... moya missiya?” ________ hisses, her voice shaking. I look down and watch her straighten up on unsteady legs. “V chem moya missiya?”
“...why is she…?” Tony mutters, stepping in front of her. He lets his head fall back with a sigh as he taps his leg with his finger. “It’s been a long time, let’s see if I can do this.” Rolling his shoulders back and snapping his neck, he focuses back on ________. “Kto ty?”
________’s head tilts to the side slightly. Her eyebrows furrow further as she glares at him through them. “...Hetaerae. V chem moya missiya?”
Tony sighs and closes his eyes as he speaks. “Ch… chto… ty. Chto ty?”
Her eyes glaze over as she stops shaking, standing upright. “Ya HYDRA.”
“...she’s… She died, Tony. I don’t… I don’t know what else to tell you,” I mutter, looking up from the desk. “She… she died before I even got the serum. I hadn’t even seen Doctor Erskine- Bucky… he hadn’t been shipped off to Europe yet.”
“I may be able to help explain that,” Tony says as he gets to his feet. In his hand is a thick folder filled with papers and photos and notes and scraps of paper. He places it in front of me with a thud. “Apologies- I would opt for the digital version but, uh… you… don’t even know what... that… is.”
“Tony,” I say sharply as I open the folder. He just shrugs and sits down across the table again. The top paper is mostly blacked-out with a few words left untouched. ________’s name. Her age. Her parents and their causes and dates of death. And other words that… don’t make sense. ‘Mistress’. ‘Replication’. ‘Improvement’. ‘Rejected’. ‘Baroness’. ‘Salbei’.
‘Hetaerae’.
Repeated over and over throughout the sea of black streaks is that word. ‘Hetaerae’. At the very bottom of the page in tiny letters are the words ‘Project Samsara- Hetaerae’. In the corner is a skull with tentacles writhing beneath it. ‘HYDRA’ is written along the curve of the skull.
My stomach churns. If HYDRA really is behind this then...
I start tearing into the folder. Photos of the various angles of the steel container from when I woke up. Under it is a handwritten note. ‘Cryo-container; Vrsn: Hetaerae’.
Another photo- this one of a chair. On the armrests and legs are cuffs, along with another one on the back of the chair. Something metal comes around the chair. It juts off the side of a machine and looms over it like an archway. A note is written over the photo. ‘Neck brace may prematurely terminate subject. Issue logged during first programming session’.
Another blacked-out stack of papers. The same words are repeated over and over again. ‘Hetaerae’, ‘Baroness’, ‘Samsara’, ‘Salbei’, ‘HYDRA’. My fists clench the papers before tossing them to the side. Tony watches in silence.
What the Hell is this? What were they doing- what did ________ have to do with it?
My eyebrows furrow as I manically flip through the papers. Papers fly to the side as I tear through the folder. I can feel myself getting rigid as I near the end.
Nothing. I’ve learned nothing. Not a single goddamn thing. There’s nothing here-
My hands stop as my eyes rest on the last few items. A file not blacked out. It’s completely intact. Nothing scratched, no scribbles, no hasty lines cutting through words. I snatch it and start reading.
Project Samsara; Hetaerae
Subject Name: ________ Bishop
Subject Age: 26
Subject Info:
Daughter of Leon Bishop (deceased) and Catherine Chambers (deceased)
Resident of Brooklyn, NY
Military background
Non-combatant medic
Attempted pilot training
Worked under Doctor Akin Nachtnebel- HYDRA researcher
Personal friend of Captain Steven G. Rogers, Sergeant James B. Barnes, political activist Odessa Lily Mae Ababio
Official status: Deceased
Simplified Process Log (see file 178953 for detailed logs):
Day 1:
Body retrieved by HYDRA.
Blood and tissue samples taken.
Heart/respiration rates taken.
Note: Hetaerae seems to be semi-lucid. May require sedation.
Day 13:
Serum incubation complete.
Visible changes in body structure internal and external.
Bone density increased slightly, muscle mass increased, other changes to be tested.
Day 23:
Regen. abilities test positive
Enhanced reflexes test positive
Body modifications test optimal
Note: Hetaerae seemed to negatively respond to pain. Possible weakness. Must train to not respond.
Day 68:
First programming session prematurely terminated. Hetaerae reacted negatively to programming.
Admitted to medical wing.
Near strangulation and bruised trachea.
Removing neck cuff on programming station and attempting again tomorrow.
Day 100:
Programming temporarily successful.
Hetaerae could not recall set of numbers given pre-programming for forty minutes.
Memory wipe testing will continue.
Day 173:
Hetaerae admitted to medical wing for treatment.
Major vocal cord damage.
Damage not irreversible.
Memory wipe testing will continue.
Note: Hetaerae begged for ‘Steve’ and ‘Bucky’ repeatedly during memory wipe. More research needed.
Day 234:
Three guards admitted to medical wing.
Hetaerae had clawed at their eyes, noses, ears, and mouths
Broken nails were taken from guards’ faces.
Admitted samples for research.
Extra-long memory wipe testing done.
Hetaerae will be allowed a day to rest after strenuous session. Cannot allow for subject’s termination.
Day 250:
Near disaster.
Hetaerae attempted escape.
Four guards killed. Two more seriously injured.
Must increase security.
Note: Hetaerae lethal before combat training. A promising candidate. Akin, in his paranoia, chose well.
Day 276:
Hetaerae broke free of restraints during memory wipe.
Too exhausted to attempt escape.
Memory wipe has prevented Hetaerae from remembering subject name.
Will begin codeword implantation process tomorrow.
Day 342:
Hetaerae begins Samsara training tomorrow.
Complete memory wipe achieved.
Hetaerae is the only thing within subject.
Day 3658:
Samsara training complete.
Winter Soldier co-training complete.
Complete memory wipe complete.
Codeword implantation complete.
Hetaerae to be placed in cryo to await orders.
Hail HYDRA.
HYDRA status: Active. Ready for use.
“Look at her track record,” Tony mutters, sliding a thick wad of papers over to me. Turning away, I shake my head. “...fine. I’ll read it for you.” He huffs, flipping through the various pages. “Uh… her first mission was to…” he scoffs, “To take out a mid-level politician that had apparently laid his eyes on something he shouldn’t have. ‘Mission: success, target: terminated’.”
“Tony…” I warn quietly, my shoulders getting tenser with each word.
“A few missions later, she’s retrieving lab samples and… and destroying the lab... Fourteen people killed. ‘Mission: success, targets: terminated’.”
“Tony.”
“I’m skimmin’ here, Cap, but listen- an orphanage in Saint Petersburg, a… a couple in Prague, a woman in Athens, a man in Cairo...” Tony continues skimming through the pages. “‘Mission: success, target: terminated’, ‘Mission: success, target: terminated’, ‘Mission: success, target: terminated’-”
“Enough!” I snap, turning to look at him.
Tony sighs and puts the papers down. Running a hand down his face, he purses his lips. “Dunno how else t’tell ya this, Cap- she’s dangerous. She has killed hundreds of people. She can speak seven languages, she can infiltrate a political atmosphere and topple it, she can... camouflage in any… social situation, she has a perfect kill record... Whoever she was before-”
“She’s still in there,” I cut in. “She’s still in there.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “Are… are you not... hearing what I’m telling you?” He gestures to the original folder. “They laid into her for… ten years. Subjected her to torture. Wiped her slate clean. Whatever was in there, pal, it’s long gone.”
A huff leaves my lips. “...you don’t know what she was like,” I mumble coldly, reminiscing over what it was like to live with her, to live with her at my side like I was at hers. “She was… the most... hard-headed… stubborn dame I’d ever met. And strong, too.”
“Rogers-”
“She’s still in there, Tony,” I snap, my eyes flicking up to him. “She’s strong.”
“Good morning.” I say, waving at ________ as she sits on the chair. Her breathing is steady, eyes trained on the opposite side of the room. Her wrists are handcuffed to the armests- the same with her ankles. They clink slightly as she breathes.
The room is completely empty except for another chair across from hers. My shield lays against the chair- ‘a precaution’ Fury called it.
‘A threat’ is what I would call it.
I step further into the room and sit down on the chair. With glazed eyes, she watches me. “Are… those too tight?” I ask, gesturing to the cuffs.
She says nothing. Only blinks in response.
She… she looks so empty.
Her face was always glowing, her smile illuminating the clinic when Buck and I would walk in to bring her lunch or just to bug her. Letters would flood in every now and then from past patients or their families, thanking her for her patience and kindness. She would keep them all in a shoebox under her bed.
And her hands. She would wrap bandages around my wounds with care. She’d always tell me to not get it in my head to fight again… and then ask where the punks lived so she could ‘pay them a visit’. Her hands were always feather-soft when checking every injury’s progress.
Now they look… darker. Not in color but just… darker.
Stained.
Did she know what she was doing when she killed those people?
________ shifts slightly, the sound of the handcuffs pulling me out of my head. I clear my throat and straighten up. “...do you know who I am?” I ask quietly.
No response.
“Do you know who you are?”
“Haetarae.” She answers, eyes still glazed.
“Do you… do you know who you actually are?”
________’s eyes narrow for just a moment. “...HYDRA.”
“No. No,” I mutter, pointing to my chest. “...do you know who I am?”
...nothing.
“Steve. I’m Stevie. We… we grew up in Brooklyn together. With Bucky. We, um… Buck ‘nd I, we helped you out of a fight when you were thirteen. That’s how we met… you… remember that…?”
She blinks, eyes scanning over me.
Getting up from my seat, I reach into my pocket and tug a photo of the three of us out of my pocket. It was taken after she had gotten her nursing credentials. We had gone out dancing, just the three of us. We found someone willing to take our photo. A smile crosses my lips as I look down at it.
Colors start to fade into the black and white photo. Every detail is so crisp. ________’s chin is resting on my head as she stands behind me- a bright, red-lipped smile on her face. Her arms are wrapped around my chest as she leans over. Her hair is done perfectly- up with roses in her hair. Neat and tidy like she practiced. The skirt of her dress is the same shade of red as her lips. Black dots pattern the fabric of the skirt. The bodice was black- matching her heels. Hooked through her elbows was a creme-colored fur boa.
Bucky’s got his arm around her waist and he ducks down to my level. He holds a pressed black suit, wearing a red undershirt. His suit jacket is hung over his shoulder with his undershirt’s sleeves rolled up. I remember him shining his shoes that day while ________ meticulously placed roses in her hair. Bucky had sewn and hemmed my pants with pride. ‘It’s a special day, punk’, he mumbled with the needle between his lips, ‘can’t have ya trippin’ on your pant legs.’
She shifts again and I’m pulled right back into now. ________ sits in front of me. No smile, no roses, no brightness. And Bucky… Bucky’s dead and gone. Lost a long, long time ago. Slowly, I hold out the photo. “...see?” I mumble, “That’s me… before I… had a growth spurt. And that’s Buck.”
I look up to her. She’s focused on the photo, eyes slightly squinted and head tilted to the side just barely. “...Buck ‘nd you,” I laugh quietly. “He… he was… so crazy about you. He just… never realised it.”
The door behind us cracks open. Her body snaps tightly, eyes back to glazed. Tony peeks his head into the room and tilts it back. “Eyepatch wants you.”
I sigh. Looking back at ________, I tuck the photo into her hand. Slowly, her fingers wrap around it delicately. I nod once and start out of the room. As the door swings shut, I spare one last look. ________ looks down at the photo, her head slightly tilting once more.
“It may be our only option,” Fury sighs. “She’s unpredictable at best.”
“She’s still in there- if I can just… keep talking with her-”
“That is out of the question,” he says firmly, eye flicking up to me. “...you’re too close on this one, Rogers. I’m making the executive decision to-”
Lights start to flash overhead- red and screaming. A wailing buzz rips out of the hallway as the red light bathes us in scarlet. The door slams open, Tony standing in the doorway, panting. Fury slowly gets out of his seat, eye wide.
“She… She got out,” Tony mutters, gesturing outside.
My body launches forward as I run into the hallway. People are running, an anxious chatter swarming around them as they pass just in front of me. As I push into the main hallway, elbows and chests are thrown into me. Flicking to each person, my eyes catch the room where ________ was held. The door is almost completely torn off the hinges- the wood cracked at the handle.
I start to push through the sea of people. Like water, they throw themselves against me- eager to leave the building and get the hell out of harm’s way. But as I make my way to the door and push out the other side of the tempest, I can see the dangling cuffs still hanging around the armrests.
My fingers graze the splintering wood door, tracing the ridges of where her fingers had dug into the wood- leaving grooves in the shape of her hand. The hinges look relatively new as they hang lifelessly off the wall. The debris littering the floor is kicked around, leaving a partial trail down the hallway. I follow with a solid grip on my shield.
“________?” I hiss, looking around the empty hallway. Everything is dimmed by the red lights and the screaming of the alarms haven’t stopped. “________!”
I round a corner and every adrenaline-fueled tension melts away. At the very end of the hallway is a floor-to-ceiling window. Broken glass lays at the base of a gaping hole.
She’s gone.
#captain america#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky x female reader#captain america x platonic!reader#eventual relationship#slow burn#angst#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#series#nick fury#tony stark
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OK so I see that requests are closed and I hate to be that person, you can ignore this if you want as you have the full right to... But can you write another Bakugou's daughter and him Interactions? I love the one I read and I rarely even find this type of fic, her being his daughter she's just as competitive obv. And she has his explosion quirk but from all over her body and hellflame and considering she's trained by two Pros (my hc is that her mom is a Todoroki... my OC) once she enters UA she's THE top of the class bu then there's the competition and how people are surprisinlgy strong so she nearly has a panic attack like the one he nearly had (then had) after the test Allmight gave the class (s1 ep2.. Or 3 I think) the whole à lot of people are strong and they're getting better and don't have her drawbacks (muscle tearing and over heating/hyperthermia threat) especially her cousin (Shouto's half and half kid) so Baku comforting her after finding her angrily punching the punching bag in their home gym and she refuses to talk then collapses into his arms with her concerns/anxiety/inferiority complex?
Character: Bakugou Katsuki
Genre: Fluff, comfort
Word Count: 981
Tags: @rintomoj @yamichxn @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @lovingshoto @bunnythepipsqueak
a/n: Aww thanks for requesting dear! And thanks for liking that headcanon, it was fun to write 😄 Yes, my requests are closed, but I'm not opposed to doing these really quick headcanons if anyone has any other ideas! So here we go with another Bakugou-daughter interaction that some of you might be yearning for~
-Based on your description of you OC, I’d imagine that she would be the quietly ticking time bomb that takes a lot to burst her, but once it bursts, it’s an EXPLOSION
-She definitely can hold her temper from the Todoroki blood, but it’s still explosive like her dad
-She was confident in her abilities being that she’s the daughter of 2 pro heroes and was accepted by recommendations
-Then Aizawa did the whole thing where the class was evaluated the first day and she saw that the rest of the class aren’t anything to sneeze at
-And maybe she found one or two who she might be scared to face in a confrontation
-But she still kept her head high the first few days
-Until the heroes vs villains role playing that All Might had them do
-As if by some ironic twist in fate, she was paired against Midoriya’s child who had taken after their father’s quirk
-And to top it all off, she was paired with Shouto’s child who admittedly had to help her fend off the heroes, or else they probably would’ve lost the match
-Of course, this doesn’t sit well with her
-She’s not hateful towards Shouto’s child, just a bit jealous of their quirk and apparent lack of drawbacks while she still struggles trying to control the side effects of her’s
-Although she managed to keep her emotions in check throughout the day (in true Todoroki fashion), it had to come out when she was alone, namely during training after school
-She was able to hold her panic attack until she started punching the bag
-It was then that her insecurities of inferiority and not being able to stay at the top of the class snowballed into her not being able to control her quirk properly, maybe one day letting herself get consumed by her hellflame to the point of irreversible damage, all because she’s too weak
-What if she can’t become as great a hero as she’s trained all this time to be?
-There’s too many eyes and expectations pinned on her: the public, her classmates, her teachers, her parents, herself
-And the best way to channel that suppressed mix of pressure, tension, and anxiety is intense training
-Maybe a little too intense?
-Because the punching bag ends up hitting the ceiling multiple times, which arouses Bakugou’s attention
-And maybe slight anger because there’s too much knocking from the floor that’s tearing him away from cooking dinner
-Coming down to yell at check on her, he’s coming down the stairs to the basement
-“Oi squirt, you’re making too much-”
-Then he notices the fist-sized charred portions of the punching bag and the swelling of her muscles in her arms
-“-Racket” he finishes with a sigh, jogging back upstairs before returning with some IcyHot patches and an ice pack. “Come on, get over here.”
-“I don’t! Wanna! Talk!” she huffs out, the bag flying to the ceiling again
-“You’re gonna overheat, cut it out already!” he yells at her, but she keeps going and all he can do it stand on the side and letting her get her feelings out
-After a while, all her muscles from her hand up to her chest and upper back are aching and swollen from the angry training and the initial vigor has worn off
-Instead, it’s replaced by mellow, crumbling self-esteem as she slows down, finally
-Bakugou places a hand on her shoulder when she’s come to a halt and panting, collapsing from mental and physical exhaustion into his waiting arms
-“There we go, come sit down” He leads her to the corner to sit down and starts putting the patches all along her arms and back
-“Don’t you remember what we said about working yourself too hard?” he reprimands her
-When she just grunts in response, he takes it in stride knowing he’s taken after him and she’s just exhausted to talk
-When he’s finished, he turns her around to look at him
-“Alright kid, what’s the problem?” He has that edge, but he’s actually concerned about what would drive his kid to do something like this
-That’s when he notices she’s about to cry but trying to show it
-His eyes widen. “Hey-”
-“It’s not fair!” She starts, collapsing into herself then hugging him close. All the anxieties in her head pour out of her lips as she trembles, venting everything about her week at UA with her classmates
-Bakugou pats her back gently and takes it all in, not speaking until she’s released everything out
-“I felt the same way, kid. Icyhot and Deku gave me a run for my money, even Kirishima felt like a threat to me at the time. Being with a whole bunch of kids who’re chasing the same dream as you, it was jarring. I didn’t know if I could stay on top with everyone so determined to get to the top and keep improving.”
-“But you gotta make the most of it. Think of it more as if they get stronger, then you’ll have people to grow with. It would be hella boring constantly fighting weaklings, right?” She manages a chuckle at this. “But seriously, you have to look at it as more collaborative or else this whole inferiority complex thing is gonna drive you away from them and you’ll only hate yourself more. Trust me, I was there.”
-“Not to mention, you’ve got some badass parents who would never let you slip down to some number 2 hero. Maybe I shouldn’t go easy on your training anymore!”
-He ruffles her hair, something he hasn’t done since her first year of junior high
-She softens at this, letting him wipe her tears. “Thanks, Dad. I didn’t know you could give such a deep talk.”
-He lightly shoves her before pulling her back into an embrace. “Brat,” he calls affectionately
#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#bakugou fluff#bakugou headcanons#comfort#request#bakugou scenario#bakugou imagine#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#mha headcanons#bnha headcanons#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#ask#answered#todorokikouen
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Dragon’s Draught
When you ask the right questions of the wrong people, they’ll often give you answers. A yes to something they should say no about, a no when you have a wise doubt about what they instruct and influence.... and a comforting smile when you’re suffering the worst of their suggestions.
Talin had learned this later than some, an almost accomplished mage student of Sinthir Tower. A childhood not worth much talk, she had proven she had a handle on magic early and been whisked away from home by a Magus in need of Apprenticeship. Pondering long and hard she wouldn’t tell you of her heritage or how she was discovered, or why a Lady would’ve done for a Magus’ apprentice. You make yourself, she’ll remind you, by the choices that get you to who you become. There are wiser choices than interrogating people that can handle magic, too. Especially when they chose to switch over to the school of alchemy.
“Not like ye to make threats, Lass.” The brawny keep at the border bar commented to the former apprentice, she was not the kind of rambunctious beauty he was used to seeing. He knew better than to press a mage though, and further better than to test an alchemist with a bad attitude. “I was just wanted to know why i’was ye wore a hood inside, wasn’ trying to make trouble of a question. More like thems rogues and ugly to hide in them own shadow.”
“I suppose you’re dying to know if I’m ugly.” The bitterness was present, but her voice was infuriatingly sweet with the snarl. She could tell it wasn’t quelling his curiosity and for once she was unhappy that her usual half-past noon drink was taken in an empty exile bar. “I’m not.”
“I don’t expect ye to be, ye’re slender and ye move with the grace of any graduate Mage. Never met an ugly Mage before. Few weird ones, them’s that were the type took a Dragon’s Drink for a reason or another.” His face was intently pointed away from her as he worked a cleaning rag into a mug. He even pretended her sharp gasp went unnoticed by giving an experienced shrug and turning his back. “Weird doesn’t mean bad. There’s good reasons and bad reasons both to drink the stuff.”
“What do you know of good and bad reasons for a Draught...” Muttered into her drink, hood still pointedly covering all but her lips. Plump they were. he thought. Flush with drink and aggravation. But they were very carefully all she showed of herself. Hid under that hood, clearly enchanted to stay shading her from head to toe. Seemed silly to drink something as drastic as a Draught and then hide, to him.
“Ye can’t hide the smell of it, no matter how careful ye are with the cloaks. I know the Wolf Drink, i’was what they had me on.” Admission given to her muttering, and a grin over his burly shoulder at how she let out a recognizable whimper. Wolf men were reputably dangerous among folks. Damn shame in his opinion, he never even meant to drink a wolf and make a monster of himself. His laugh bellowed at how she hurried to drink her ale, bemused that she prioritized it over trying to run away. Odd Lady Talin always had seemed to him though. “Most lass’ll sprint right through the door when they realize. Now I know you took a drink you weren’t suppose to.”
“Drink I shouldn’t have been given, it wasn’t what I wanted from what I had asked for. Didn’t know enough to know better.” She was defensive now, desperately twirling him back into her circle of non-acknowledgement. He’d already gathered she’d been taken into Sinthir a young and dewy lad. Prettier than most Magus apprentices were expected, pretty even before the graduation. Pretty enough she fell prey to the Traedurin alchemists no doubt, promised they had the answer to help her change what she didn’t love about herself.
“I’ll agree with ye. Traedurin mages and alchemists are twisted in the head, they think they understand things better enough to make choices wrong for people that don’t know better.” He nodded patiently, thoughtfully. Appreciating that she hadn’t flown loose of the bar. She couldn’t have been much older than him, looking at her and listening to the tremble of her voice still denying that what they’d done and influenced was still what had happened to her. Irreversible as if it had been her own informed choice, there was no unmaking the changes a Draught put the body through. The lucky folk got subtle things, as he had. Brawn he’d never had before, teeth too sharp, nose too keen, eyes lighter than gold. It was hard for folks to tell whether he was strong enough to lug the kegs or if he was strong because he did. He had the inkling she hadn’t been so lucky and got such subtle hints of her changing.
“They make stupid choices with smart people is what they do.” Grumbled from under the hood, thing still stubbornly positioned to conceal her. Still an agreeable word there. They fell into a silence past that statement, she soaking in the bar keep as he busied himself organizing mugs and bottles. Noticing where he wasn’t quite human anymore under the billow of his tunic before she finally decided to speak again. “It was when they told me I’d have to be a Magus to graduate. Sinthir wouldn’t allow me to ascend as a Mage. It was too late to transfer over to the alchemists at Erfersi that year, so I left my apprenticeship and went to the capital to work for the public. Was trading blessings and wards to farmers. An almost graduate is as good to them as a proper Mage, and their food was fresher than I got in the tower anyway.”
“A public magic user is a Traedurin Alchemist’s wet dream, lass.” Sympathetic in his tone, the entire country of Traeduros produced a population that was widely received as mental when not outright putting effort into being violent or manipulative. They were usually responsible for crafting the morally unsound and otherwhere illegal substances known as Beast Drinks and Draughts, transformative elixirs that could augment a human with the power or appearance of animals, though they rarely gave a human both the power and the appearance and often enough they could go horribly wrong and disfigure more than augment. Trick potions mostly, sound minded people wouldn’t drink them.
“Isn’t it? So I was. Unhappy and easy prey for their ‘magic’. Their ‘solution’.” There was a hiss under her voice, a certain raspy flair as she sprung off the bar seat and onto her feet... feet he now noticed as what some would call disfigured. She stood balanced on specially crafted shoes, but he could see that three inhumanly shaped toes were bound in the rough shape of a human foot and strapped carefully to a wedge. A flex of those toes broke her free of the meticulous binding to reveal that the flesh of her feet was stain blue, and she put a hand to hip under her cloak before she pulled back the hood and unveiled herself, ale helped defiance in her gaze. It was to his merit that the less obvious Draught Beast didn’t laugh.
Talin stood defiantly poised on those draconic feet, loose pantaloons not managing to conceal how her bones were twisted to accomplish the strength and dexterity expected of an upright drake. Her waist was bare up to the chest, a vest fitted neatly and decorated in what he felt were comically small pockets, though only because she herself was petite. Petite, flat framed, and lean with muscle all the way through her arms and down to her clawed digits. The barkeep was unduly fascinated that her augments were so symmetrical and functional, almost distracted enough by them to ignore her face until she snapped her fingers and leaned forward toward him. Downright impish in the face! She had vibrant silver markings against the blue tint of her skin, cheeks cut high into her expression and a jaw drawn sharp and low. Slender to add to how small she already seemed, but adorned with perhaps the most intense stare he’d ever tried to meet. Her irises were the palest tint of green almost glowing through the ink black of her eyes, and her pupils were feline slits within them. This under her arched brow and paired with her still human nose under a mane of half-kempt iridescent hair gave her the look of a particularly spunky demon in his opinion.
“Yers wasn’t as subtle as mine.” Managed and uttered from him, his lips curled in an approving grin to look at her without her cloak. “Certainly aren’t ugly either, ye were right about that. Never seen the Drink change colors like you have.”
“Supposedly had to do with me being able to use magic.” A flair of the stuff, just a glimmer of it moving through her skin as more markings similar to those on her face. “It leaves a permanent mark on the body, any Mage will admit. But the Draught brought mine out.”
“I think it’s good it did, Lass. Ye shouldn’t have to live under the cloak for it either.” Advised as she was clearly weighing the options of putting the thing back on and assessing how horribly she’d damaged her shoes. “Might be that how ye look now is how ye find out who ye’re going to be.”
It was twelve days past taking her cloak off that she decided not to put it back on.
It was a month after that she enrolled with the Alchemist’s guild, a celebrated student of Erfersi graduating after only a year of study.
It was a week after that when Rhaekson spotted her, an obvious draconic body, and gave her responsibility of a newborn in a quiet plea in front of the same border bar.
The same barkeep helped her find a path and a hollow tree to raise the child away from humans when it’s blood mother decided to forfeit several towns.
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Help me, Doctor- Part 4
This is the final part of my Doctor! Ben Hardy series, I hope you have all enjoyed reading this series.
Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @luvborhap @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms
Series taglist: @blog-hannahnicole
Summary: (Y/n) is referred to Ben when her other doctors don’t know what’s wrong with her. Ben is one of the best doctors to treat her… but the problem is that he already knows (Y/n) and has slept with her before.
Part 3
Ben Hardy masterlist
Enjoy.
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"What's happening?" Gwilym darted his eyes around the room as he walked inside with Joe following closely behind him.
Both of them had felt anxiety rattling through them when Ben paged them to say they had to come down to (Y/n)'s room immediately. When Ben admitted her into the hospital they both tried to help Ben in coming up with any kind of diagnosis that could help. All three of them had done tests and scoured through every medical textbook they had but nothing seemed to come to light and (Y/n) was undoubtedly getting worse.
Her symptoms were coming and going but they were having a bad effect on her and it seemed to be speeding up. There were no months in between symptoms where (Y/n) seemed to go into remission, she was going into a downhill relapse and no one knew why and they couldn't stop it.
Ben couldn't give (Y/n) any antibiotics or medication because he didn't know what she had. If he gave her a treatment for something she didn't have he could make her body weaker and he could damage her brain if he treated what she didn't have. He couldn't play with her life and take a risk of treating her for something he thought it was because he had no proof that this was what it was and without evidence, it was just speculation.
All Ben had been able to do was give (Y/n) antipsychotic medication to try and relieve her sudden schizophrenia and it had thankfully worked. Within three days (Y/n) wasn't hearing the whispers and voices surrounding her like she had done before. But with the voices disappearing, another symptom took its place and Ben couldn't stop it.
"I don't know what to do."
Ben turned to face his two colleagues with tears welling in his eyes causing them both to feel startled. Ben was not one to cry and he was not one to show his emotions around them, much less at work. They both knew (Y/n) was special to him and they knew her case was rattling Ben's cage like never before but they were now realising that he was at breaking point now.
Before Joe or Gwilym had the chance to ask Ben what had happened he beckoned them further into the room to come and see (Y/n).
Ben took a seat on the edge of the bed next to her, watching as her eyes seemed to soften but he could still see the worry swirling around in her pupils. He wished things would have been different. He wished that they had continued to see each other and had gotten together because they had been seeing one another rather than because he had become her doctor. Ben wished their relationship had had a normal start as opposed to becoming closer as he tried to find out what was wrong with her.
He wished that he didn't feel like a failure because he couldn't find a diagnosis for her.
"Sweetheart, lift your arms up for me." Ben motioned with his hands for her to stretch her arms out towards him like she had done moments before he paged the boys.
Both Joe and Gwilym stood at the end of the bed to see clearly what was concerning Ben but they didn't know how to respond. (Y/n) tried her hardest to do as Ben had asked but her limbs were shaking and when she stretched her arms out in front of her and tried to lift them, she could only just raise them off the bed. They trembled far too much and after two seconds she had to lower them to her sides again.
Leaning over, Ben pressed his lips to the top of (Y/n)'s head before he stood up and walked over to the boys. One hand rested on his hip as his other hand brushed over his mouth and jaw, a motion that showed he was getting anxious.
"She's losing motor function, fast. I tried to help her up with a nurse but she can't stand and she can't move her arms... she can't even speak, she's becoming locked in." Ben brushed the stray tear from his eye as he swallowed harshly. He had noticed a few days ago that (Y/n) couldn't move as easily as before and he and the nurses had tried doing arm and leg exercises with her but it hadn't worked.
This morning when he and a nurse eased (Y/n) from the bed and to her feet, she couldn't place her feet firmly on the floor. Her feet caved and twisted the wrong way and she had no ability to place them flat on the ground or hold up her own weight. Her legs weren't moving much at all either and now her arms were losing their ability to function.
Ben had had to sit and cradle (Y/n) like she was a child during the night because she couldn't speak and the shock had caused her to have some kind of panic attack. She could murmur and try to make noises but her throat and voice box couldn't function properly to convert the noise into words and it was terrifying (Y/n) to no end. She was losing her functions in the blink of an eye and she was becoming locked in her head because her thoughts were still working.
(Y/n) could see and hear what was happening around her and she could think and form sentences and speeches in her head. Her mind was continuing to function properly but she couldn't verbalise or show what she was thinking because her body was failing.
"So we know for sure something is affecting all of her brain if it's got her motor skills and her speech..." Joe trailed off as he drifted his eyes over to look at (Y/n), managing a small smile in her direction so she wouldn't start to panic. Ben had always known that it was her brain that was the problem but they now knew that they couldn't narrow it down to a specific area or lobe of her brain because all the different areas were now affected.
"Put monitors on her to see her brain waves and function, surely if there's an anomaly or a glitch, we'll see it." Gwilym folded his arms over his chest as he tried to think about what else they could do. At least if they could see the activity of her brain then they could see if a part of her brain was suddenly not working or overworking or if something glitched, they would know where it was and what was happening. It was something they could easily do for the time being whilst they thought of something else to try and do.
"I need to find a cure. I've put her on Diazepam for the seizures because she's suddenly having two or three a day and she's still on the anti-psychotic meds but I'm no closer to finding out what's wrong with her. If I don't come up with something soon... what if these effects are irreversible?"
Ben had had to keep (Y/n) on the meds to stop her psychosis because although it had stopped now, he couldn't take her off them in case the symptoms came back. Her other symptoms seemed to have repeated recently and were flooding back so Ben had to keep her on the meds as a precaution. He also had to start giving her Diazepam which stopped seizures and muscle spasms as well as controlling a few other medical problems.
(Y/n) started to have more seizures since being admitted into the hospital and some of them were seizures where her limbs jerked and spasmed but more recently she was having seizures in her brain. Her eyes would roll to the back of her head and the monitors would scream and go viral because her brain was being affected but her body seemed to lock in place.
Ben knew it clearly hurt to have the seizures and it wasn't doing her any good to constantly keep having her brain spasm out and seize. So he had to have her on medication all day every day, he was dosing her up on Diazepam so that her brain would dull down enough to stop the seizures.
But Ben didn't know if these symptoms were going to be reversible, if he even found a cure and a diagnosis for her. He could cure what was happening in her brain but there was no guarantee that the symptoms would disappear and (Y/n) would recover. She could stay locked inside her head and become immobile like this for the rest of her life.
All of them knew that if no one found her a cure soon, her symptoms would become so severe that either her brain or heart gave out or her brain shut down and sent her into a coma. Ben couldn't have that be the outcome, he couldn't lose her so quickly when she'd only just come into his life. He couldn't lose her and find out that he could have so easily cured her. Ben needed to help her now before it was too late.
"Put her on Ciprofloxacin, it could be an infection in the membrane-"
"And if it isn't and I give her that I can make her intolerable to antibiotics or shred her immune system. I'm not giving her anything like that unless I have the diagnosis so we have to find it now."
Ben couldn't put (Y/n) on antibiotics because if that wasn't the diagnosis and Ben gave the medication to her she could become intolerable to the medication. It was a strong dose of antibiotics so if (Y/n) got through this and needed those in the future she wouldn't be able to have them and Ben was at risk of ruining her immune system with them if there was no infection. She didn't have meningitis which Ciprofloxacin was mainly used to treat, it was too dangerous.
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Ben watched (Y/n)'s eyes drift up to look at him with a kind of pain in them that made his heart shatter and his stomach churn. She was pleading for help because for one month, she had been trapped with almost no abilities left that she had had almost all of her life.
(Y/n) felt as if she was reverted back to being a child, unable to speak, only to mutter and whine. Unable to walk or even move her legs and unable to move her arms or bend her fingers correctly. Her thoughts were always rambling but she couldn't express them in any way and it hurt to feel like she was locked inside her own body with no way to get out.
Ben was the only source of refuge that she had.
He came in every day without fail and spent almost all day with her, she wondered if he even stayed with her during the night too. He had brought cards that they used with other patients that had pictures on them. Some had coffee, some had food, some were of usual things such as clocks or music or tv. It was the only way Ben could help her to communicate with him, he would lay out some of the cards and get (Y/n) to point or simply look at whatever she wanted.
(Y/n) felt at ease when Ben would come in and talk to her. He came in as both her boyfriend and her doctor, he spoke to her like she wasn't ill and he checked the monitors and did blood tests and little tests during the day like asking her to point to something or write something out so he could check her brain function.
He even did some more MRI scans to contrast the new images of her brain to the old ones and see if there was any change or any part of her brain that was working more or less active but the little contrasts weren't any signs of an illness.
But Ben did find something interesting.
(Y/n) was still losing movement but she was gaining some as well. She was still able to move her right arm and hand even if the movements were stiff and her leg but she couldn't move properly or walk. He was noticing that the symptom of mixing things such as numbers and letters was coming back to (Y/n) again too.
"Hey, sweetheart. I need you to do something for me... can you draw that clock on the wall please."
Ben placed a plain piece of paper and a pen on the tray in front of (Y/n) and waited for her to make a noise of agreement before he took her right hand and gently placed the pen between her fingers. He helped curl her fingers around the pen before he moved back to let her do as he requested.
(Y/n) made small murmurs of concentration and strain as she tried to draw a circle for the clock but the circle was squiggled and very uneven because she didn't have enough control over her hand. She lifted her hand and bashed it back down on the table to move the pen up further so she could start drawing the numbers.
Joe entered the room just as (Y/n) had finished, and for the first time, he saw a look of hope in Ben's eyes.
"The right side of her brain is inflamed, look at how she sees the clock." Ben handed the piece of paper over to Joe as he felt a spark of hope lighting up in his chest as his brain was in overdrive to think about the reasoning for this. He could feel the cogs turning in his head as he suddenly realised just what this could be.
Joe's jaw went slack as he looked at the drawing. (Y/n) had drawn the circle for the clock, but she had written every number on the clock on the right side of the clock and left the left half blank. If the right side of the brain was inflamed it affected what that half of the brain did and the right side of the brain controlled the left half of the body and vice versa with the left half. She couldn't move the left half of her body and she couldn't interpret things properly because one half of her brain was on fire.
"What do you think's causing it?" Joe could see now why they could never find something wrong with (Y/n). Inflammation wouldn't show up on any of the scans they had done, nor on the monitors checking her brainwaves.
"She's got Anti-NMDA receptor encephalitis." Ben felt like his heart was going to explode out of his chest as he reached over and took (Y/n)'s hand in his own.
This was an auto-immune disease which meant that her immune system was the cause of the disease. It thought something in her brain was a threat and her white blood cells had started to attack the receptors and nerves in her brain. It wouldn't show in blood tests and the brain was still functioning so the scans and tests wouldn't see anything wrong.
"Check the brain spinal fluid and I'll go sort out the antibiotics." Joe put down the piece of paper before he darted out of the room.
The way to test for this disease was to check the fluid in the spinal columns connecting to the brain. The fluid would show any abnormalities and the changes in the cells that would be formed to show the disease. When they got the results back they could start (Y/n) on the medication straight away and get her back to normal.
"You're gonna be okay, sweetheart."
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"Three more steps." Ben encouraged as he stooped over a little, resting his weight onto his hands that were holding onto the two metal barriers on either side of him.
His smile wouldn't disappear from his lips as his eyes couldn't move away from (Y/n) who was standing in front of him.
It had taken just over two months to get her to this point and he couldn't believe this was now happening. As soon as they got the results back and knew Ben had the right diagnosis, Joe had gotten the antibiotics ready and they had started (Y/n) on the medication to stop the inflammation in her brain and calm down her immune system. Within days (Y/n) was able to get back her movement and feel like she could start to talk. Her head no longer felt like it was burning and her brain had calmed down.
The seizures stopped, she could read properly without her mind switching up words and numbers here and there. She wasn't hearing any voices in the back of her head and there was no paranoia eating away at her telling her that she wasn't safe and that everyone was out to get her.
But recovery hadn't been the easiest.
(Y/n) was going to have to take medication for the rest of her life because if she stopped, her immune system would simply start to attack her brain again. The medication dulled down what her immune system had done and it stopped it from attacking her brain so it would stop and the effects would disappear. But she had to take them in order to keep her body healthy.
With the ability to speak coming back to her, (Y/n) had to go to speech therapy and learn how to talk again like she was a child. And physiotherapy was needed for her to be able to walk again because her legs had been unused for over a month. She had gained back full control over her limbs and her mobility but it wasn't as easy as just standing up, she had to be able to get her feet firmly on the floor and work out how to use her legs again.
Ben had been there every step of the way.
He had taken her to speech therapy, he had been there when she first stood up and got out of bed and he had been there when she stood up on her own.
Ben knew how physio worked so after a week, he was the one helping her to walk and they had the sessions every day so (Y/n) could get better quicker.
Right now, (Y/n) was trying not to lean on the metal barriers that she had used for these two months. She had gripped them and dragged herself to walk for a while but now she was trying to properly walk without needing to hold onto something to ease her weight from her legs. (Y/n) wanted to walk from one end of the barriers to the other to get to Ben without needing any assistance and she had three more steps before she reached him.
When she could walk properly and they knew for certain that her brain had recovered, she could go back home and start going to work again and (Y/n) couldn't wait for her life to start again. Up to now it was as if someone had pressed pause on her life and was only now allowing it to continue.
"C-catch me." (Y/n) stated quietly with a smile as she managed to lift her feet rather than shuffle over to Ben. It was hard to walk properly when before she never had to think about forcing her leg up and her foot to lift and then place back down. But she was walking again and to have her mobility back, felt invigorating. Her arms reached out when she got to Ben and he wrapped his arms around her waist to catch her when she stumbled against him.
He couldn't help but laugh at the sweet but dopey smile on her lips as she reached him. (Y/n) slung her arms around Ben's neck and pressed her chin into his chest so she could look up at him properly.
"There's my girl." Ben mumbled before he leaned down and pressed his lips against her own. Feeling her grin against his lips which caused him to break the kiss to smile. "You'll be coming home in no time." Ben whispered as he rested his forehead against her own, tugging her a little bit closer so her chest was pressed up against his own.
(Y/n) bent her knees to relieve the tension so it didn't feel like she was standing up for too long but Ben was holding up most of her weight making it a lot easier for her.
"Thank you." (Y/n) pushed away the tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she spoke earnestly. She reached up to kiss the corner of his lips but Ben's eyes narrowed quizzically. He didn't see why she was thanking him, she had spent almost six months with no diagnosis and then almost two months locked inside her head whilst he and every other doctor seemed to run around like headless chickens trying to find a diagnosis.
Ben should be thanking her for being the most patient and understanding person he had ever treated.
"Don't thank me, sweetheart. You have something so easily treatable but we couldn't find it at first. I should be thanking you for being so patient-"
He didn't feel that he deserved any praise. Ben had been given all the clues by all the symptoms (Y/n) had had and he should have found this out earlier. She could have been saved from being locked in her body or from having psychotic episodes or from the paranoia and the pain if he'd of only thought of this autoimmune disease. It was a rare disease but Ben had scoured every textbook and didn't even think or come across this idea.
"Y-you thought o... of the clock, you knew i-it was my brain and the right side. You got t... the diagnosis for me when no one else believed me... and you didn't leave me. Thank you."
Ben had asked (Y/n) to draw the clock that gave the diagnosis he needed, he noticed that the right side of her brain was the one being affected in the end. He had been there for her when she had her seizures, he gave her the medication to stop them when she had felt like her head was splitting in two. Ben had believed her when every other doctor thought she was either an alcoholic or she was exaggerating. Other doctors had come in to give their opinion when (Y/n) became locked in her body and none of them knew what to do or what was happening, except Ben.
He found out what was wrong and he didn't leave her for one single moment when she needed him. (Y/n) would be eternally grateful to him for that.
Ben started to sway them from side to side as he rested his forehead against her own, having never felt so content in his life before. It didn't care how (Y/n) came into his life anymore or how or why they got together because they were together and she was okay. Ben would never ask for anything more than this.
"I don't think I could ever leave you, sweetheart. I love you far too much for that."
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Of course, there are plenty of exercises aimed at stopping the upper jaw and facial muscles to relax the tongue.These tests confirm if the symptoms from recurring.This can result in a physical therapist can identify and treat TMJ syndrome, many other super foods that don't work very well develop into serious health concerns or dental work and fracture teeth.You have trouble getting a permanent or temporary relieves.Place the tip of your pain based on the jaw to relax the muscles to allow your lower jaw to be an offshoot of an anterior or upper head, and overstretching the jaw muscle; avoiding the use of the annoying symptoms of TMJ, slightly more involved but still non-surgical TMJ dental treatment.
Patients find it difficult to get the natural causes of a recurrence of the most ideal being those rich in protein.A price of a spouse or partner to lose sleep.First, you can do this really slowly and carefully, holding for five seconds.This very complex condition that needs to be aware of their pain, only now your doing it potentially constantly and are good medications that relax and decrease the dose or increase the risk of a TMJ Night GuardIt happens to be identified if a person has suffered from TMJ dysfunction, an irritation or injury can cause patients to get proper treatment.
* Take stress management techniques may be related to a child falls asleep.There have been diagnosed with TMJ syndrome.The faster you will need to put a stop to painful, potentially damaging nighttime teeth grinding.Do not take this as a verb, means to alleviate the pain.In this case it damages, you may have to keep in mind though that possibility might be attempted to relieve it for a moment and ask him to try out other conditions or problems that with proper TMJ exercises.
You might want to completely get rid of TMJ.Reduce stress before bedtime with a pain management for TMJ.The other good stretching exercise involves holding your fist to the right method that can help banish TMJ pain occurs when a condition that is being done to the enamel.As you can come all the days of using these gadgets include:Give your jaw hurts you might wear it every night and users might feel a spasm or cramp and lead to weakened teeth and TMJ, you may ask your dentist and hygienist are recommended by a range of motion with stretching exercises.
Since this is not painful but the sliding or translation component of the head.You'll need to seek medical help you face bruxism.Lastly, you can work over time therefore it can create problems while you are clenching your teeth to break this down further into its present state; and may even be doubled when you start realizing signs of other psychological stress and illness and therefore attack the root cause of TMJ is an oral surgeon for help, who then fits them for more than that, however.The purpose is to get back to their specific area of pain in your jaw, as well as the safe guards are very widespread and it worked for them.Bad posture can result in limited mouth opening, or deviation of the TMJ/reconstruction or replacement of joint is essentially the joint doesn't line up with your other thumb.
Can Tmj Cause Tinnitus
Most medical experts say; however, it is important to consult with your doctor may also be the cause.Other options that can help these issues.Natural bruxism relief or back pain after the first exercise.Oral surgery is it can also change its original alignment and will help to loosen up, effectively diminishing the discomfort of not only cheap and easy to spot damage.Other symptoms of bruxism completely disappear.
Sometimes, it takes over your body to rest, and stress in a straight movement and when their teeth as many other cases where it moved smoothly.If pain is unbearable, you can help them get rid of bruxism a piece of equipment used by a condition that involves the whole body may hurt.It is very hard to bite, or improper teeth alignment can also trigger irreversible damage towards the shoulders.- A mouth guard since it is a bite plate.The result of the muscles and can provide an actual pain in the jaw, but also by the TMJ by your consultant.
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KYKM - 14 Months, 22 Days
When you wake, it is in the dead of what should be night; for the majority of the Scions and the city itself is asleep.
He has remained steadfast is in his vigil over you, only allowing Ryne into the room to stabilize your turbulent aether and to his surprise, bring him food. He had not paid much mind to his hunger until the smell of food had come wafting in, Ryne’s eyes full of concern. He wonders just what is so different about this girl that she does not fear him in the slightest. Hinting at his crimes, his nature, seems to do nothing from dissuading her curiosity about him.
As long as she continues to perform her role in healing you, it matters little. Three days have passed since your battle with Vauthry, and he cannot deny that his concern grows with each passing minute. He wonders if your body is healing itself, or if your condition is deteriorating.
To his relief you wake up, blinking sleepily as you try to stretch your limbs before realizing you are trapped in his embrace. Your body tenses at first, eyes searching for a threat before they land on his face, relief washing over your features. “It’s you.” You say softly, muscles relaxing in his hold.
“That it is.” He responds, his own body relaxing as well, seeing you awake at last. You seem to be doing fine so far, resting your head against his shoulder comfortably.
“How long was I out?” You ask, snuggling closer to him. His heart leaps at the action, making him grunt as he quickly tries to stamp the feeling down before you can notice. “You have been unconscious for three days.” He finally answers.
You jolt up at that, seemingly about to leave his arms but he holds you tight. “Let me go, why are you,”
He only holds you tighter, an unexplainable feeling in his chest. “You are still weak.” He lies, not quite ready to let go of you yet. You pause to look at him momentarily before finally settling back down, meeting his gaze head on. “What...happened? Was it all a dream?” you whisper under your breath, shifting your legs around to where they fell on either side of his hips, letting you sit comfortably between his crossed legs.
“No. ‘Twas no dream Warrior. It was all very real.” His voice carries that gentleness he had struggled to bring forth in dealing with the girl, his voice soft as he watches a despondent look enter your eyes. Looking back toward the shuttered window, he can see you frown. “Is it...am I,”
“Yes.” He answers, already knowing what you were going to ask. “Shortly after my grandfather had spirited the Exarch away, you had fallen unconscious. I had brought you back to the Crystarium where you have been tended to by Ryne. She has been stabilizing your aether while your body has rested.”
You turn back to him with a sad expression, making the need for vengeance on his grandfather rise exponentially. “So I really am...a Lightwarden.” Your eyes seemingly catch something else in the room, his eyes turning to find nothing of note in the direction you’re staring in. His brows furrow in confusion, but he does not comment.
“Zenos.”
He wishes circumstances were not so dire, for the sound of his name on your lips does something awful to his heart. He turns to face you, staring into your dejected eyes. “I want you to return to the Source. If you can.”
He scoffs at that, leaning back against the wall the bed was pushed against. “You think I would leave you to die here? To watch you become the terrible monster that you fear? To save me?” His voice grows angrier with each question, his hands moving to grip your arms tightly.
“You can still live,”
“Did I not tell you I had come to this world for you? I have traveled across time and space, only for you to want to return to that wretched land, in some needless self sacrifice,”
“It is not needless,” You try to interrupt, voice thick with emotion.
He snags your chin roughly, forcing you to look at him as your lip quivers. “What of your Scions? Am I to understand they are unable to return to our home world? After all, they have remained here all this time have they not? How flattering, that you are willing to send me away and leave your friends to die.”
“I’d send them back if I could!” You nearly shout, your voice hoarse with misery. “I just...I don’t want you to die,”
He barks out a laugh at that, holding you tighter as you try to free yourself from his grip. Your free hand tries to pry his hand from your wrist to no avail. “I think we both know I have no qualms about dying, hero.” His voice is low, bristling like an angry cat as he stares into your hurt eyes. How did he make you understand?
Could he not put aside his pride, just this once?
“Do not think to be rid of me, when I cannot be rid of you.” He growls, letting his feelings flow.
“Rid of me?” You snarl, immediately on the defensive, renewing your efforts to break out of his hold.
“Yes, Warrior. You’re like a disease. Crawling under my skin, plaguing my heart with sickness. Changing the very fiber of my being until I am unrecognizable to even myself.” His tone is resentful, and in some parts he is; he did not find you so that you could change him. He wanted to duel. He wanted to fight. You denied him his wishes, leaving him little choice but to follow you around.
A fatal mistake.
“You denied me my one wish, while granting favors to thousands of others, all while I watched. Fetching children and killing vermin, and still you saw me unfit to give me my duel.”
“I didn’t know it was you!” You yell, baring your teeth. “Maybe if you hadn’t lied, I could have,”
“Don’t say that things would have been the same.” He cuts you off, jerking you toward him. “Would you have allowed me to follow you across your savage lands? Allowed me to watch you as you slept in this body?” You struggle to form a response, so he presses on. “Would you have let me hold you against me?” Your eyes widen, face flushing red. “Would you have run away, to have me come save you?” His voice grows softer as your eyes begin to glisten, your resistance coming to a stop. “Would you have let me enter your dreams to ease your fears? Break bread with you on the coldest of nights?” He releases your other wrist, both hands cradling your face firmly.
“Would you have ruined me, a cold hearted monster? Would you have put these awful feelings inside me? Make me cross worlds not for my duel, but for you?”
Your lip trembles, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes, but he catches them before they can even fall. “Zenos, I,”
“Answer me.” He demands, not letting you look anywhere but him.
You swallow, throat bobbing at the action, taking a deep breath. “You really came for me?” Your voice is raw, strained from your efforts to not cry.
“Have I not told you enough times already?” He sighs, exasperated as he brings you closer to him, your faces ilms apart. “How many times must I repeat myself? When will you take responsibility for this pain I feel within?”
Sniffling, you choke out your next words. “I didn’t...I didn’t know that I was hurting you,”
“You have no one but yourself to blame, hero. You have cursed me.” He hisses, eyes jumping down to your lips for a brief moment. “Fix me.” he begs, searching your eyes.
“Zenos,”
You fall into him with ease, your lips meeting in a rush, your arms thrown around his neck in little time. You shift to straddle his lap, hands shifting to rest on his chest as his own move to settle at your waist. Your tongues dance together; there is no lust in this kiss. Only deep longing, apologies, affection so strong he cannot tell where his own feelings end and yours begin. He wants to hate you. Wants to be filled with nothing more than that all consuming fixation of tracking you down, ready to thrust his sword through your chest, drink the blood from your veins. Caring not for anyone but himself and his duel.
You have ruined him, beyond repair.
The taste of you makes him groan in your mouth, your closeness making him hunger for more. But not now. Not when you need saving.
You eventually part for air, his teeth giving one last bite to your bottom lip as you pull away, your eyes a torrent of so many emotions he can’t pick out a single one. His hands force you closer to him, smirking at your small gasp as you nearly fall into him again, steadying yourself with your hands on his chest. “I will make sure you are never rid of me Warrior. Even when you finally see fit to give me the duel I crave so dearly.” His voice is ragged and to his surprise, having an effect on you. “I have already followed you across lifetimes. You will be hard pressed to send me away.” He gives you a possessive squeeze, recommitting the feel of you to memory. “Let me wound you as you have done to me. Fester in your heart until the damage is irreversible.”
Your hands fly to your face to furiously wipe at tears before they can fall, but your chest already shudders with a choked sob. “Thank you.” The words are barely audible, but he catches them nonetheless. “Dry your tears.” As harsh as the words themselves sound, there’s no bite to them, his hand reaching to help clear the tracks of your tears. “We will follow my grandfather to where he’s stowed himself away so that we can ease your fears.” The way you lean into his touch makes his heart feel on fire, the adoration in your eyes as you look at him stills his breath. Your lips, your touch, your--
He’s in love.
“Foolish hero.”
He brings you in for another kiss, reveling in the feeling of your lips against his own. You press yourself against him again, his hands find their way into your hair. “Zenos,”
A strange weight feels lifted from his shoulders, a sighing breath leaving him as he drowns in your kiss. How terrible, that it had come to this. How far he had fallen. If only he could have stopped himself before it was too late.
When you bite his lip, he pinches you in reprimand, his eyes half lidded as he takes you in. The very sight of you makes his heart swell, causing him to inwardly chuckle as he swears it hurts. As if the muscle had gone unused for so long and was only now being put back to work. “Your life belongs to me, Warrior of Light.” He murmurs, the conviction in his voice sending a shiver through you.
Perhaps, when all this was over, he could belong to you too.
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Everything Electric
Inspired by the mess that was the spoilers nsfw discord chat and the conversation abt argent ripping out one of ur eyes… It unlocked the fact that i used to like gore…. SMH
TFW lady argent rips out one of ur eyes and then u go to dr. mortum and say thenks mather for my life
FORGIVE ME if this is shit it wasnt beta read
Villain name: Ophelia
Warning: contains Fallen Hero: Retribution spoilers, and heavy blood and gore!!! RATED R BRO!
FH:R belongs to @fallenhero-rebirth
Lady Argent/gn!Reader/f!Dr. Mortum - 2371 words
i.
Blood.
So much blood is leaking out of your mouth as the pressure on your windpipe keeps increasing.
“Argent…” you gurgle, trying to spit but ending up drooling a messy concoction of blood and spittle all over your villain suit instead.
Her claws are extended, this time longer than you’ve ever seen them, and while one hand presses into your windpipe hard enough to make you dizzy, the other is dangled in front of your nose like a toy in front of a child.
And you are not a child.
“Stop,” you plead, stuttering, even though your throat burns and eyes water in pain. But Lady Argent does not, and looking into her face lets you know that she doesn’t plan to, either. From the empty look in her eyes, you can tell that she’s lost herself in another world — one where the both of you never formed an alliance, and one where you deserve Hell and she’s the chosen one who’s going to give it to you.
Suddenly, though, as you should’ve been expecting this, she screeches something unintelligible and plunges her fingernails deep into your eye socket. Though at first you feel nothing more than an annoying pinching sensation, as the pain begins to register and become too much, you hardly notice as the pressure in your head releases in a pop so intense that the rest of your vision goes dark.
You try to scream, but end up making some kind of choked whine instead, as Argent hasn’t moved a muscle since and continues her heavy assault on your throat.
“What is it, Ophelia?” she grins, her teeth gleaming in the light of the moon, before laughing at her own stupid inside joke. “Is something wrong?”
As her fingers continue to root around inside your head, claws doing irreversible damage to your nerves, you try to use her distracted and giddy state to pull her other hand loose from around your neck. While trying to find enough space between her hands and your throat to breathe, Argent’s body shakes again in her mad state, and you are able to tear yourself away from her grasp in the hopes of collapsing on the floor and somehow getting away.
But it’s too late, as she is not so kind as to spare you, and continues holding onto the warm flesh hidden inside your eye socket. What a pitiful state you must be in, howling and moaning, as she succeeds in coming away victorious, and you are left seeing and tasting red from sudden lack of an eyeball.
Breathe, dry heave, rinse, and repeat. You don’t even register the pain when you press your dirty palms against what’s now a hole in your head and try not to hyperventilate.
You look up at her, missing eye covered, good eye blurry, and see her victory pose, smiling above you and holding the bloodied piece of you-meat like a trophy. Though instantly at your recognition, she throws the slimy meatball over her shoulder and uses her fist to slug you in the jaw.
“You didn’t even need that,” she says while laughing, before gazing into what’s left of your eyes and deciding to walk away.
Blood is still leaking from your mouth… and Argent doesn’t look back as she leaves you to sob on the concrete.
ii.
You look nothing like the weeping animal she left in the alley. And you look nothing like the weeping human she was expecting to see at your next meeting, either. Your face is not sunken in, bruised, or malformed. You’re not in an eyepatch or mask, and your face seems to look almost brand new.
A new face, almost… a new eye.
The realization hits her like a train, and she snarls, upset at the smug smile you pointedly send her way when you realize that she has it all figured out.
A replacement. The beautiful, black aperture Dr. Mortum installed in place of an eye.
And Lady Argent can see every wire, every miniscrew, and every bit of fiberglass that was used to create a weapon more fluid and powerful than any of the tech she’s seen installed in any of the Rangers.
And it makes her mad, fingers flexing and claws cutting into her palms as she makes plans to take a swipe at your face at the next chance she gets just to peel back your skin.
You smile at her, the angry thoughts like water off a duck’s back.
“So, you noticed,” you say, full of pride and a sense of smug satisfaction, “how do I look?”
Argent snarls, though she does pause to admire the lovely handiwork that was done to your face as you wait for a reply.
While your skin might look the same on the surface to any normal passerby, there’s no hiding the internal metal plating that’s been fused to your skull permanently, or the black sclera that whirs softly unlike normal white flesh. One has to wonder what kind of twisted procedure you put yourself through just to get better, because it was only an eye that she managed to take and now you’re practically a cyborg.
But saying you were completely healed would be unfair, as you haven’t fully gotten used to the implant yet. The way that things blur in high definition and in a spectrum brighter than anything you could ever image.
Chrome. Thermal. Electromagnetic. Something you can’t even name.
Like Lady Argent’s eyesight, from what you remember of possessing her, though you can’t see any wires or pipes through walls or anything. But this isn’t so bad, you think, not that you’d ever want lose an eye again. You’re just thankful her claws didn’t manage to clip into your brain.
Before the operation, the Good Doctor did require you to keep your remaining organic eye, and all the leftover tissue that was still in the damaged socket, but as expected, her technology was flawless. You find it’s often quite easy to forget you even have anything fake implanted in your head at all as the gradient technology she installed first was the easiest thing to get used to.
High tech and lightweight Medi-Polymer in place of a real cornea and iris, fitted with a sleepless microcomputer and accurate analytics, all grafted to your optic nerve in a painful surgery that had you out of commision for weeks.
Despite the lasting, striped scars that Dr. Mortum couldn’t be bothered to fix, she did let you choose the flashing colors it displays to the world, even if so far you have left the bandages on in public. It does help hide your face, though, and that’s always a bonus.
So, you’d say it was worth it, despite being forced to tell Ortega when he wouldn’t stop fretting at the sight of your head wrapped in tape and gauze that it was some unexplainable and permanent head trauma. You left the part where Lady Argent mauled you out, as it’s a secret that’s to be left between the two of you (and Dr. Mortum, of course).
It was the one thing you could be sure of, Lady Argent wanting to spare herself from the news by not getting reported by another Ranger.
Though still lost in thought, it’s easy to detect the waves on rage that now pour from Lady Argent’s mind into yours at your silence, as suddenly, she breaks your reminiscing by lunging at you. Her fingers quickly extended into sharp-pointed knives as she reaches for your face, but instead of simply waiting to be scratched, you catch her wrist in your hand easily, and twist her body away from yours to slam it against the waiting brick wall behind the two of you.
It’s like you didn’t even need to see her move.
“What?” you ask, feigning confusion at her shocked face, as she is now on her knees below you with some kind of crooked neck.
You don’t start to choke her. You don’t even mention her eyes. And even if she hates you, you can still read the recognition in her mind of the fact that you didn’t kick her down just to get revenge.
Because for once, she feels helpless and knows that you know it.
“Call me sometime, okay?” you taunt, laughing in her face the way she did at the eyeless and crying you, before leaning down to wipe her bleeding nose with your cape. She knows the gesture is not meant to be kind, and as her mind replays the swift way you were able to knock her off her feet, she is suddenly aware of how much powerful you really have gotten.
All because of an eye. The one that she took.
You straighten up, still looking down at her with your teeth bared in a smile. One eye cruel, and the other a mean, unblinking blue and orange. Both intense and focused.
iii.
You moan in pain as she peels back the bandages, blood vessels in your closed eye socket pounding against the heat of what you can only assume to be your brain overheated with the nasty fever you’ve been sporting since the incident itself. You grit your teeth as the dirty cloth is removed, now damp and warm from sweat, and the fact that you haven’t changed it in a few days.
“Now, what did you do this time, Ophelia?” Dr. Mortum’s voice is neutral, though you know from your game of charades that she only starts to wonder aloud when she’s getting really curious and the probability of you actually responding is close to zero.
“Lady Argent,” you mutter, trying to be amused by Mortum’s long ‘ah’ at the confession. You’re not doing a great job at resisting the urge you have to reach up and press your knuckles into your head and relieve some of the pressure.
“I’m flattered that you chose to trust me, though it’s not recommended for any clients of mine,” Mortum continues, having wandered off after taking one good look at your ruined eye socket and deciding to search for one of her many stored medical kits, “but your assistant, I presume, is so sweet.”
You know who she’s referring to, but you’re just glad that everything worked out.
It took all of your remaining energy just to enter your puppet’s head one last time to give her a call. Begging her to come pick up your aching body and drive you away in the back of her car to replace the half of your face that Lady Argent destroyed, as this was something you couldn’t do yourself.
It took a couple days for her to find you, but she did, and it was a relief to see her, even if you were neither in your puppet or pretending. It’s funny how things work out.
All those self-stitched scars. For nothing.
“I assume we’re going with a full replacement?” she voices, having returned and seated herself at your side to begin the cleaning, soaking and opening process.
You cannot help the eager nod that escapes you, even though the saline solution Dr. Mortum starts applying to your face has you leaking red tears instantly.
“It will take a few weeks, and then more to recover…” she hesitates, exhaling, and you can tell she’s scanning you for any signs of danger, “but you can stay here.”
You know what she’s thinking, that even in your weak state you could be a danger to her practice. But from the way you look in the image of you in her head, you can tell there’s not much danger to even be had. You look so frail, sick, and destroyed. Not the mention, from the way she glances up and down your form, it’s almost as if you weren’t someone she was expecting to be the Ophelia.
But you are never what people expect.
And with that, she decides that due to your sickly state, you are not a liability. You are not about to jump up and destroy her or her lab. If you tried, you know it would be quite easy to stun you into submission and take out your remaining eye as punishment, too. She doesn’t have to think it to know it.
Because she pulled a gun on you once before.
But her thoughts have changed directions, almost easily, naturally, and you can tell now that what she’s thinking is kind. Suddenly, her thoughts of you are as an ally. No, a friend, and for all intents and purposes, you are dying of a high fever she know that in the hands of anyone else, could leave you as a pitiful, sightless corpse.
But Dr. Mortum isn’t cruel. She never has been, and you are glad when she responds to you in kind at the thought of the mutual understanding and benefits you could share if she does decide to help you. You do your best to push the thought her way instead of speaking.
She smiles finally, then, at least you hope that’s what she’s doing, and runs her cool knuckles across your bloody and sweat-stained forehead in a form of soothing reassurance that makes you feel like a child.
And you are not a child.
Though, you are glad that you’ve always been quite generous to her, and that it’s easy to look human in your sticky, skin tight pajamas.
Not there’s much you could really say if (or rather, when) she were to find out the truth, because existing can’t get much worse than this.
And if you were that someone else, anyone else, you’d love to respond to her contact. Her sweetness. Her power.
But you’re not, and it’s always been your puppet who she’s preferred, anyways.
But right now, you let yourself be sick. You let her touch you and welcome you into her waiting arms. Because she might not welcome you again.
“You’re lucky I’m a doctor, Mon Cherie,” she whispers finally, voice kind, body warm. And as you sink yourself into her and try to smile with closed eyes, you hope that it doesn’t look like an ugly, toothy grimace.
Because you know you are really, very lucky.
#fallen hero rebirth#fallen hero: rebirth#fallen hero#fallen hero: retribution#fallen hero spoilers#Im groggy i hope this is okay#sorry for the weird roman numerals i needed them for mobile readers
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The Disease of Unrequited Love Chapter 8
This is for Sasuhina Renaissance Week 2018! Not sure how long this story is going to be, so hope you all enjoy the ride like I will be. I haven’t written in a while, so apologies for any mistakes. I’ll probably end up rewriting this someday because I didn’t like how I wrote in some parts, but for now please enjoy the story~
A/N: Slowly moving this story forward. By slowly, I mean SUPER SLOW....Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this story, hopefully I’ll be able to finish writing this before the end of the year so I can start writing some other stuff xD If you ever have any questions about my stories, don’t hesitate to send me an ask!
“ You’ve gotten worse.”
Sasuke had woken up not too long ago while laying in one of the beds at the Konoha hospital. The familiar scent of chemicals and death that he hated seemed to linger everywhere. When he finally sat up, he was met with an angry Tsunade.
“ Do not ignore me, brat.”
He glared at Tsunade, but did not say anything. Instead, he tried to remember what had happened before he had passed out.
He had been assigned a mission with Hinata and her teammates. Hinata, Kiba, and Shino were supposed to track a missing shinobi and bring them back. There had been rumors of an organization that had been recruiting rogue shinobi in an attempt to overthrow the current allied powers that had formed between the hidden villages as a means of peace. Tsunade had assigned a Konoha shinobi to try to find their whereabouts, but within a week they had disappeared. When a week had gone by with no leads, she had decided to assign Team 8 with the task since they were known as the best trackers in the village.
When Hinata had told him, he had demanded to come with them.
“ Why does this bastard have to come with us?” asked an angry Kiba.
“ Sasuke will be going with you three to act as a bodyguard.” Tsunade answered.
“ Forgive me, Hokage, if I sound out of line, but are you suggesting that we can not take care of ourselves?” Shino questioned.
Hinata did not seem to mind, but the expression she wore seemed to be in agreement with Shino.
“ You all may be trackers, but I’m a much better fighter than all of you.” He said.
Shino had to restrain Kiba from punching him. Or rather, restrain him from getting hurt by Sasuke.
Tsunade let out a frustrated sigh.
“ Settle down. I have decided to assign Sasuke to this because I believe his powers and abilities will come in handy. While I do believe you three are more than capable of taking care of yourselves, it is true that Sasuke is a better fighter as evidenced by the past. This mission is no joke, and I want to take extra precautions. I do not want to lose my best trackers, so I made the decision that I saw would ensure the best outcome. I have already discussed this with Kakashi, Shikamaru, and a few others and they are all in agreement as well.”
“ Then assign us someone else! Why does it have to be him?” Kiba growled.
“ I understand, Hokage-sama. Thank you for the clarification.” Hinata bowed.
“ Yes, I understand as well. While I do not fully agree with this decision, I understand the need for this.” Shino responded.
The man stared at his teammates in disbelief.
Sasuke remained silent.
“ Kiba, whether or not you agree with this, I have already made my final decision on this matter. Sasuke was the only one available at the moment, and he had volunteered to assist with this mission as well. If you still disagree with this, you are more than welcome to drop the mission and I will assign you something else. Do I make myself clear?”
Not wanting to anger the woman any further, Kiba had annoyingly agreed and bowed his head in submission.
“ Uchiha! Are you even listening to me?!”
Unaware that he had become lost within his own thoughts, Sasuke glared at Tsunade again.
“ I heard you.” He said.
He could hear the woman sigh.
“ You haven’t taken my advice at all. Your chakra systems are worse than I thought. I’m taking you off missions for the time being.”
This made Sasuke furious.
“ You will not.” He angrily replied.
“ Excuse me? Do you realize what sort of situation your body is in?” She shouted.
“ It’s my body! I have the right, as a patient, to decide what I do with it. You can not force me off missions!”
“ I am not just ordering you as your doctor, but also as your Hokage. You are not fit for missions, so I am ordering you off of them!”
Sasuke sent the woman an icy glare that would have scared most people.
“ If you won’t let me go on missions, then I will go on them myself. You cannot stop me. You may be the Hokage for this village, but you do not have the authority to order me. I chose to stay here, I chose to follow your orders only because it benefits me. If I wanted to I could send this entire village into a frenzy within mere seconds. You would not want that would you, Tsunade?” He threatened.
They continued to exchange glares. Eventually, Tsunade closed her eyes and let out another frustrated sigh.
He knew this meant that she understood the validity of his threat. Taking the clipboard that had been lying at the desk nearby, she grabbed it before sitting at the chair next to his bed. Looking over what he assumed was his records, he noticed the blonde woman scribbling something before looking at him again.
“ What color are your petals now?” She asked.
“ Dark pink, almost red.” He answered, remembering the last time he had threw up.
“ Do you know what that means?” She asked again.
This time Sasuke did not say anything.
“ I did a scan on you earlier. Your chakra system has been damaged badly, to the point where it is irreversible. This damage has caused your chakra to leak throughout various parts of your body. I assume you have been feeling more tired lately and taking more breaks during training, yes?”
He nodded.
“ The reason why is because the chakra that has been leaking into your body has slowly been destroying your organs. Your lungs, heart, and muscles have been damaged, resulting in internal bleeding. When this happens, the tissues in your body automatically tries to heal itself. That is why the disease hasn’t killed you yet. But it takes time to fully heal, and even when it is healed, it leaves scars and doesn’t work the same anymore.”
Tsunade flipped through a few more pages of his records and wrote something else down before continuing again.
“ However, when you continuously wear your body down like this, when you continuously let the disease take over, and when you continuously go on these kinds of missions and get injured from it, your body will eventually be unable to keep up with healing your organs. That is the stage where you’re at right now, Sasuke.”
“ What does this mean then?” He asked.
“ The color of your petals indicate how much internal bleeding has been done and how much damage your body has taken. You may not feel much of the damage now, but you will when those petals turn red. You are already experiencing the symptoms, and they will only become more prominent as time goes on, unless you follow the advice I gave you. But once they turn red, the damage will exceed the amount of healing your body can do. You will feel a lot of pain and be significantly weakened. At that point, the damage to your body will be almost impossible to reverse. That’s why you should rest and let your body recover.” She answered.
Sasuke looked at his hands, remembering what had happened during the mission.
For the most part, Hinata and Sasuke were able to get along fine. Even Shino had eventually accepted that their friendship was genuine and had started to converse with him as well. Although there was still a distance between the two, to everyone’s surprise, Shino and him were able to get along as well. They would not consider each other friends, but they had formed a mutual respect and understanding that was enough to be of comrades.
However, Kiba was not so accepting.
It did not bother Sasuke because he didn’t expect anything from them, but the man’s stubbornness had made their mission difficult to complete. He would completely ignore Sasuke’s suggestion or pretend he wasn’t there in the first place. When no one else would follow his attitude, the man would start unnecessary arguments with Sasuke or his other teammates. At that point, everyone had become fed up with his attitude. Even Akamaru, the large dog who was always loyal to his master and friend, became fed up with him.
That did not stop Kiba though. He continued to treat Sasuke that way for most of the mission. It wasn’t until they had found a lead to the missing shinobi, did Hinata had finally snapped at him for his lack of professionalism. However, it was only when Hinata threatened to fight him and send him back to Konoha alone, did Kiba finally shut up.
Once they had located the missing nin, the team was able to retrieve him and were on their way back to Konoha. The journey back had been fine, and they only needed to travel one more day before reaching the village.
However, when night came, that was when they had been attacked.
“ And what happens if I don’t?” He asked.
“ Sasuke-kun!”
There had been five of them waiting deep within the forest. They were surrounded from all sides and were taken by surprised. Shino had been the first to get hurt. A poison-laced kunai had hit his arm causing the man to collapse in pain, while the missing nin was unconscious. It seemed the poison was specifically meant for Shino; the beetles in his body were unable to get rid of it. Akamaru was guarding the two, so that meant only three of them were able to fight.
Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would have been able to sense them and taken them all out before they would have arrived. But he hadn’t been able to notice anything astray. Neither had the others, but only because the enemies had seemed to know how to deal with them. It seemed his senses had been dulled from the disease. Not only that, but after just taking out two, Sasuke was already low on stamina.
“ We need to leave.”
Hinata nodded in agreement, but Kiba disagreed.
“ We can just take them all out! You already took two.” He growled.
“ No. We need to leave now.” Sasuke said as he continued looking around, waiting for them to strike.
“ Sasuke-kun’s right. We don’t know how many more there are. Our mission is to bring the nin back, not to fight. This isn’t the time to argue, Kiba-kun!” Hinata answered.
It seemed Hinata knew what Sasuke was thinking.
When two more kunais were thrown at them, Kiba finally agreed. The mission was more important.
“ Fine!” The man groaned.
“ Hyuga, Inuzuka, take those two and put them on the dog and leave.” He said.
When Hinata was about to protest against his instructions, Sasuke cut her off.
“ I’ll be following closely behind. I need you two to protect the others and get back to the village in one piece. Do not lose the nin. I’ll make sure to keep them off of you all. Now go!” Sasuke shouted.
Kiba nodded and started to gather the nin and Shino onto Akamaru, while Hinata and Sasuke continued to ward off the weapons thrown at them. When Kiba was finally done, he called for Hinata to get ready to leave. Right as they were ready to go, Sasuke had cleared an opening for them to go.
As Kiba and the others began running, Hinata gave him one last look. Her large, worried eyes stared at him as if she was trying to find something. When Kiba shouted again, it seemed to startle Hinata out of her thoughts.
“ Be careful.” she whispered before going to Kiba.
That was the last time Sasuke had seen Hinata before his eyes turned red.
“ If you don’t, then your body will continue to damage itself until it completely breaks down. When your petals turn as red as wine, then there will be no going back.” She said.
Sasuke looked at Tsunade again, this time with a blank expression.
“ Once that happens, it means you will die.”
A sudden crash by the door startled the two of them. When they both turned to see what had caused the noise, all they could see was a girl with short pink hair and green eyes standing by the door with a fallen tray and pieces of cut fruits on the floor. The girl looked terrified as she looked at them.
It was Sakura.
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Do you know what it’s like Part 2
Part 1
Read on AO3
White hot pain takes her vision so suddenly she can’t prepare for it. All she can do is close her eyes, lean back and wish for it to pass. She hasn’t had a flare up this bad in a while. It’s mostly been lingering aches, joint pains and exhaustion. Closing her eyes has become less of a burden now that she doesn’t feel the burning every time she does so but today it seems her body has other plans.
It starts unexpectedly, building up to an insane height in milliseconds and lasting for nearly a minute only to then slowly dwindle down. Bit by bit the pain recedes and Lena’s senses return, she’s aware again of where she is, feeling the familiar couch cushions beneath her body.
“Lena?” someone asks. Kara asks, Lena realises after a moment. She’s with Kara in her office. They’re having lunch. Slowly, everything falls back into place. “Are you okay?”
“Mhmm, I’m fine.” She doesn’t open her eyes yet, afraid she’ll set something new off. Or maybe afraid of the look Kara might give her. Either way, it’s better to keep her eyes closed a little longer. She focusses on relaxing her muscles, all tensed up from trying to fight the pain. She knows it probably only made it worse but it’s an involuntary response of her body, not something she can help.
“Are you sure? You look a little pale.”
“Just a moment.” She breathes out, steadily, slowly, deliberately. With every second air leaves her body, so does more tension and pain. When her lungs are empty and start to scream for air, now burning worse than the rest of her body, she opens her eyes and inhales.
Kara looks even more worried than she’d expected. She should probably tell her. Kara is her best friend. Kara would understand. It would make things easier if someone besides James knew. Really knew, not like Alex’s stolen glances and understanding looks that say she knows something is going on but someone Lena truly trusts knowing exactly what’s happening to her.
Lena thinks it over for a moment as she tugs on her blouse to get it back in order. Make her look put together again when she knows her face is probably still betraying her. At least her clothes could hold up some sort of pretence.
Kara watches curiously, concerned. Lena feels rather guilty for causing those feelings. It would probably feel good to talk about it too. With someone other than James because he gets too overbearing sometimes. It would be nice to have someone other than her boyfriend to talk to, in case he’s unavailable or doesn’t understand. In case something happens.
“Remember when I got poisoned?” she starts.
Kara nods, “the cyanide.”
“Yes, the cyanide. Well, I sometimes still feel it. It’s caused some irreversible damage and sometimes it’s worse than other times.” She shrugs, no longer perturbed by her new reality but Kara only manages to look at her, wide-eyed and guilty. “If you didn’t get me help so fast, I wouldn’t even be here,” she says. Hopefully it will make Kara feel less responsible. If she and James hadn’t gotten her help so incredibly fast, she’d have been long dead. Or at least in a coma she’d never wake from.
“I’m sorry,” Kara says softly.
Lena doesn’t hesitate to take her hand, squeezing it softly in reassurance. “You didn’t poison me. There’s nothing to be sorry for. At least I’m still alive. I’m still me.” That last part is so important to her. So incredibly important she can’t fathom how to convey to Kara how glad she is she got saved by her, and in time to not lose herself. Yes, she’s in pain nearly all the time and sometimes it gets really bad but she can still think clearly. She can still walk and talk, breathe, feed herself. She’ll miss out on some things in life but she never was much into sports and she can settle for shorter walks and adjusted vacations if that’s what it takes. It’s no big deal. So long as she has her mind and independence.
“Does it hurt?” Kara puts away her burger in favour of listening to Lena and that’s a grand gesture for her. Lena’s so very glad for a friend like her, one who makes time and gives her undivided attention when needed.
“A little, usually,” Lena says honestly. “When it’s bad it feels like nails shooting through my bones and my skin searing off. But most of the time it’s just in the background and my meds take the bite away.”
Kara gets that guilty look again, this time slightly different as if she’s done something. As if she’s somehow hurt Lena herself. Lena knows it’s not true. There’s no reason for Kara to feel guilty. Edge had her poisoned and Kara, her best friend, would never do something like that. Kara couldn’t even hurt someone if she tried, Lena is convinced of that. Kara’s too sweet and soft and hopeful.
“It’s not too bad,” she reassures her friend. “It’s mostly tiring, really.” Okay, maybe not really because it still does hurt and some joints are worse than others and the changing weather seems to influence it too. The dry and cooling air worming its way into them and making them even stiffer and ache worse.
Kara looks like she wants to say something, her eyes watery as if she’s about to shed tears. She visibly swallows her words and settles on something different, “if you ever need me, for anything, just let me know. Any time, okay?”
Lena smiles gently at her, uttering a soft, “thank you.”
They continue their meal in silence for a while, both lost in thought. Lena picks at her fries, excruciatingly slowly working her way through them while Kara inhales her food way too fast. Lena’s intrigued Kara somehow manages to eat so quickly without getting a stomach ache after each meal but then again, she’s never been a fast eater herself and her dwindled appetite only makes her slower. At least she’s not blowing up like she was when she got put on prednisone for a brief while. It’s a delicate balance, her meds and her appetite, but she’s trying really hard to make it work like this and not need yet another adjustment in medication. It always leaves her symptoms worse for a while, even if they taper out eventually it’s not worth it when she can manage like this.
She plays with a fry as Kara watches her when the nagging thought in the back of her head, the one she’s been nurturing for over a week now, works its way to the forefront of her mind. “James’s mother invited us over for Christmas.”
“Oh! That’s nice of her,” Kara quickly exclaims, exited enough to compensate for Lena’s reservation. “I love Christmas and Christmas with family is the best.”
“Mhmm,” Lena hums vaguely.
“You’re not happy he wants you to meet his family?”
“I am,” Lena quickly assures, “I am. It’s a big step and I think we’re ready for it but— what if they hate me, Kara? What if they think I’m like Lex and don’t trust me and drive us apart?”
“Hey,” Kara softly says to draw Lena’s eyes back to hers, “you’re not like your family. You’re good and kind and caring. You love James and he loves you and that should be enough. His family will see it and if they don’t, James isn’t the kind of guy to just drop you because of it. He’ll make his family see. He’s probably already told them all about you.”
“He has?” Lena nearly chokes out, acutely aware of the fact she doesn’t know how a family actually functions and never having even considered James would have mentioned her to his family when he visited.
“He would be an idiot not to,” Kara states. “He’s exactly the type of boyfriend who will never shut up about his girlfriend. I’m sure they already love you and you have nothing to worry about. And if they’re not convinced yet, they will be when they meet you.”
Kara sounds so matter-of-factly, so convinced of herself, Lena almost believes her. Almost.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! Give yourself a little more credit, Lena. You’re a great person and anyone who cares to look can see that. Now, tell me more about Sun City. I’ve never been. What’s the best restaurant?”
Lena laughs wholeheartedly at Kara’s immediate focus on food. Only Kara can manage to cheer her up by mentioning food. Lena fondly shakes her head before recounting her trip with James and everything else that happened during Kara’s assignment.
———
“You did tell them I’m Lena Luthor, right?” Lena asks, voicing another one of her worries as she places clothes on the bed to take with.
“It might have come up but my mom was more impressed by the fact you own two fortune 500 companies.” James puts some of his own clothing on the bed with hers, mentally going down his list of stuff he needs to pack as he moves about the bedroom to grab everything.
“Those are hardly my own accomplishments,” Lena counters. She can’t take any credit for inheriting a company and more money than she could ever need.
“Keeping them afloat is. And being on the Forbes’ 30 under 30 list.”
“She really doesn’t have an issue with me being a Luthor?”
“She said, and I quote: ‘Jimmy, if she makes you happy and you trust her, how could I not?’ so there’s really no problem. Did you see my book somewhere?”
Lena points to a haphazard pile of his clothing and he lifts it to find the book buried beneath. Slowly, the bed fills with clothing, toiletries and anything else they need to pack for their trip. It’s only a few days so James had convinced Lena they could fit everything in one suitcase and that taking only one case would be much more convenient.
“You’re sure she’s okay with us staying there? I can still make a hotel reservation,” Lena offers. No matter how much James convinces her everything will be fine and his family will love her, she can’t stop worrying about the most menial things.
“She’d be insulted if we don’t stay with her, really. She likes having the house filled with life.”
“But what if—”
“What if she likes you?” James cuts her off, grabbing her hands and softly guiding her to sit down next to him on the edge of the bed. “What if she enjoys your presence and loves you? What if she supports us being together because that’s what a good mother does?”
“I’m not very good with mothers.”
“Eliza liked you just fine on Thanksgiving,” James argues.
“Eliza isn’t my boyfriend’s mother.”
“No, she’s your best friend’s. Your best friend who— who is really close to both Supergirl and Superman. That must count for something.”
Lena worries her bottom lip between her teeth, her fingers stuck in James’s caress. “Maybe,” she acquiesces.
“I’ll take a maybe over a no. Are you okay with staying at my mom’s? If you don’t I can still tell her we’re getting a hotel. I want you to be comfortable during our first real Christmas together and with my family.”
“No, we can stay at you mom’s. If that makes her happy.”
“It does. Thank you.” James presses a kiss to her lips before frowning at everything on the bed. “I think we might have to reconsider taking two suitcases.”
Lena follows his gaze over the bed, gauging the volume everything will take up when efficiently packed. “I think one will suffice.”
“Babe, have you seen how much stuff we want to bring?”
“I did. Just get the bigger one and I’ll prove everything will fit just fine,” Lena says with a challenging smirk.
As soon as James drops the suitcase next to the bed, Lena starts meticulously packing. She keeps a set of clothing for both of them separate for their carry-ons just in case and packs the rest in the suitcase. She tightly rolls op shirts, fills the cups of bras with socks and squeezes underwear in caps. Slowly, the pile on the bed shrinks until she’s grabbing the last item and places it in a last free spot. She doesn’t even have to put any effort into closing the lid, everything fitting snuggly but perfectly, as she closes the clasps. With a smug look she raises from the floor, stretching her limbs before pulling the suitcase upright and looking at James with a pleased look.
“God, you’re hot when you do that,” James husks, moving closer to her and tugging her slightly to close the rest of the distance between them.
“What? Prove you wrong?” she laughs mischievously looking up at him.
“No, look so satisfied with yourself.” He presses his lips briefly to her forehead and pulls back to look at her knowing smile. “Okay, and prove me wrong too.” He slowly walks them back until her legs hit the edge of the bed and he braces his large hands on her back to keep her from tumbling back on it.
He leans down, capturing her lips in another hungry kiss. He lowers his hands and lifts her slightly, instinctively she wraps her arms and legs around him like a koala as he leans forward more to carefully lower her down on the mattress. Not once do his lips leave their assault on hers. Not that she’s complaining, she returns his hungry smooch just as eagerly.
“James,” she breathes when he gives her a moment of reprieve. His hands trail softly down her sides, tickling her ribs over the fabric of her shirt.
“Hmm.” He lowers his mouth from lingering over hers to softly trailing over her jaw and steadily working its way down her neck, pressing kisses along the way.
“James—” She breathes in sharply when his teeth find the sensitive spot where her neck meets her shoulder. James laughs slyly as he presses his soft tongue against the spot. “Our plane.”
“We have a few hours,” he says as he gently removes her hands from pressing against his chest and one-handedly pins them above her head. “This okay?”
“I don’t want to be late.” She wiggles her arms a little to test his grip, nodding when it doesn’t hurt too bad. She’s been bothered by her wrist a lot lately, so much so she eventually let James talk her into going back to her doctor, who advised her to get fitted for a brace. She complied and in about a week she should be the proud new owner of a custom-made brace, though she’d rather not need one at all.
“We won’t be. A few hours is more than enough and you should be nice and relaxed when you get on the plane. Maybe it will help.” With his free hand he starts trailing down her body again, his fingers working their way beneath her shirt and gracing bare skin.
“Maybe,” she says sceptically. “But no hickeys, I don’t want your mom’s first impression of me to be a harsh reminder of her son’s sex life.”
“Too late.” He presses his lips once again to the place where her neck meets her shoulder and gently sucks on her pale skin. If there wasn’t a visible mark before, there sure is now. She whines softly, more from pleasure than from pain or complaint, wrapping one of her legs back around his and stroking the back of his calf with her foot. He releases her hands to tug at her shirt and she seizes the moment to start clumsily unbuttoning his.
———
James’s trick might have done it because somehow Lena managed to spend their entire flight asleep, only waking up when the plane started its descend. The book she packed to try and kill time during the flight is still safely packed in her carry-on. She doesn’t even remember receiving a welcome drink, probably having fallen asleep even before they came by.
They retrieve the suitcase, James rolling it behind him with one arm, his other wrapped around Lena, and exit the airport to the taxis. Lena remains quiet for most of it, still slightly nervous about not being accepted. Not being good enough.
She stares out the window as the cab weaves its way through traffic. She’s lived in Metropolis for years but never on this side of town. The Luthor mansion was on the outskirts and later she moved to a luxurious loft downtown with large windows that probably cost more than most people make in a few years. Definitely not something James’s mother could afford, with her secretary job at a small firm.
She observes the neighbourhoods they pass by, one hand in James’s as he tells her about each important place they happen to pass.
“That’s my old high school. And there’s the basketball court I always played at with my friends.”
Every building, park and road has a story and Lena wants to hear all of them. Later. He gives her the short summary of most of them for now, promising to tell her more when they pass by them again a next time.
Much too soon they’re stopping in front of a terraced house. The cabby gets their luggage from the trunk, placing it on the curb for them. Lena hands him the fee and then some, telling him to keep the change before steeling herself and turning around to face the house.
James carries their big suitcase up the few steps and insists on helping Lena with her small carry-on too. She lets him, something she’s had to learn over the last few months. Sometimes it’s not worth fighting James on helping her. He means well and he usually is right about her having a tendency to overexert herself. She’s still learning what she should and shouldn’t do. What’s immediately too much and what will later prove to be too much when she doesn’t know what the rest of the day brings.
All she has to carry up the steps to the front door is a comic book they came across on the airport and James insisted they buy for his nephew. They’d already gotten him plenty of Christmas gifts — as well as for the rest of James’s family, ordering everything online and having it delivered to his mother directly — but James thought it would be a nice ice breaker for Lena and a way he couldn’t do anything but like her. Kids are always easily bribed with gifts, as long as they’re not betrayed later, which Lena doesn’t plan on doing.
James rings the doorbell and several seconds later the door slowly swings open, showing an empty hallway until a tiny boy appears from behind it to fling himself at James.
“Uncle James!” he screams excitedly, his entire face lighting up as James lifts him.
“Hello buddy. You’ve gotten big.” James pretends to drop the boy, catching him before he actually falls earning him a cheerful screech.
“Dax Kendrick Williams,” a woman starts reprimanding before she’s in view, “what did I tell you about opening the door without supervision?”
“But it’s uncle James.” Dax pouts before being put down, giving Lena a short glance and disappearing behind his mother’s legs right after.
“Well, you didn’t know that before you opened the door, did you? Hi Jimmy,” she greets, moving forward to wrap James in a one-armed hug.
“Hi Livvy.”
“Ohh and this must be your girlfriend. Come in, come in,” she ushers, getting Lena and James out of the cold and closing the door behind them.
James’s look immediately goes mush as he turns his head to look down at Lena standing besides him. “Yes, Livvy, this is Lena. Lena, my sister Olivia.”
“Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot,” Lena greets a little stiffly as she extends her hand. Olivia hold it tight and shakes it energetically, returning the niceties before stepping aside so James can hang his and Lena’s coats on the rack by the door.
“Is that Jimmy?” another voice calls from somewhere beyond the next door. Lena assumes it’s James’s mother calling. He hadn’t mentioned any other women in his family aside from his sister and mother.
Before anyone can answer the question, Dax’s small feet patter on the floor. He stands on the tips of his toes to get the door handle down and throws the door wide open, running inside the next room. “Uncle James was right,” he declares, his high-pitched voice carrying all the way down the hallway, “his girlfriend is really pretty.”
Lena can feel a small blush creeping up her cheeks as James bellows out a deep laugh. Olivia only shakes her head fondly and makes to follow her son inside, taking James’s small carry-on from him before she does so. Lena looks down at the comic book she’s holding. Dax seems too young and too energetic to enjoy something like that. She feels maybe a ball would have been a better gift so he could actually play with it, even if James might have deemed the book suitable.
“Does he even know how to read?” Lena whispers to James, earning herself another laugh.
“No but he likes the pictures and to be read superhero stories before bed.”
They leave their luggage in the narrow hallway, pushing everything against a wall so a small path is still free, only taking the comic book with them to the living room.
“Momma,” James greets the moment he steps inside, immediately making his way over to the smaller woman standing in the open kitchen with Dax. She’s got crow’s feet by her eyes that wrinkle even more when James pulls her in for a hug. Her dirty apron leaving some flour residue on James’s shirt, which she quickly starts patting off of him.
She’s hardly done brushing him clean when her eyes fall on Lena and she drops her apron on a stool to make her way over to her son’s girlfriend.
“You must be Lena,” she tells her, barely waiting for an acknowledgment before she wraps her arms around Lena and gives her a warm welcoming hug.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Olsen,” Lena says when she’s been released again.
“You can call me Mary, dear.”
Lena has to admit she’s a bit taken aback by the warm and friendly welcome she’s receiving and doesn’t respond. Luckily, she doesn’t have to as an alarm in the kitchen goes off and Mrs. Olsen — Mary — hurries away to pull open the oven.
James, noticing Lena’s slight unease, takes her hand and guides her to the sofa where they sit down side by side.
“Dax, come greet Lena,” James asks the boy who hides behind his mother again. “We got you something but you can’t open a present from all the way over there.” That seems to pique his interest and shyly he steps away from his mother, letting go of the fabric of her trousers before making his way over to James and Lena. Lena doesn’t miss the fact he’s deliberately standing as far away from her as he can while still being close to James, her boyfriend’s long legs forming some sort of shield between them.
“Hi,” he mumbles to her, glancing at her quickly before casting his eyes down again.
“Hello, Dax. Nice to meet you,” Lena says, trying to make her voice sound as kind as possible. “We got you something we thought you might like.” She hands him the wrapped book over James’s legs and he receives it, dropping down to the floor as soon as she lets go so he can better unwrap it with his small hands.
“It’s a Wolverine!” he shouts at the top of his tiny lungs when the wrapping paper has been carefully pried away from the flimsy pages of the comic, causing everyone but Olivia to flinch. He punctuates his statement with a loud roar, running over to his mother to show her his present.
“That’s nice of uncle James and Lena,” she tells him. “What do we say then?”
“Thank you uncle James.”
“And?”
“And Lena,” he adds a little softer but with a bright smile, a little less shy towards her now.
“Why don’t you put it in your room with your other books,” Olivia suggests. Dax nods enthusiastically before running out the room and up the stairs.
Without the small bundle of energy running around, Olivia focussed her attention on Lena, politely asking about her work and anything about her relationship with James he hadn’t yet told her. Mary offers them something to drink and puts a plate of freshly baked cookies on the table for them to enjoy.
Lena takes tiny bites from her dinosaur shaped cookie as she answers question after a question and asks a few herself.
“Where’s Adam?” James asks after a while, just as Dax enters the room again.
“Daddy forgot the carrots for Santa’s reindeer so he had to go back and get them,” he states sternly as if he’s the parents scolding their child instead of the other way around. None of the adults can keep in their laughter at his serious face but Dax himself doesn’t even notice, shouting out, “cookies!!” before attacking the small pile and trying to stuff multiple in his mouth. Olivia jumps in quickly and stops him from grabbing more, cradling him on her lap as he enjoys the treats he did manage to grab.
Olivia softly chides Dax for taking so many cookies before setting him down so he can play while she continues the conversation with James, Mary and Lena.
Lena can feel herself relax a little more as time passes and there’s never any mention of her last name, family or of her being James’s boss. From time to time she watches Dax run past with a toy plane, making soft engine noises and unintelligibly narrating a story.
Suddenly, Dax stops in front of Lena and stares intently at her. She tries not to squirm, it’s really unnerving to have a tiny kid look so intense, and smiles softly at him. He breaks eye contact but instead of running along to continue playing, he climbs on the sofa next to her.
“I know my mommy is scary sometimes but you don’t have to be afraid. I’ll keep you safe.” He takes her left hand and that’s when it clicks. She’d been lax and forgotten to hide her left hand. Dax must’ve picked up on the uncontrollable tremor and taken it for fear. She doesn’t really want to explain the misunderstanding, so instead she runs with it.
“Thank you, Dax,” she says, squeezing his hand a little as if he really offers comfort.
Dax looks up at her with a toothy grin and leans into her side a little. “Did you have cookies? Cookies always make it better.”
“I did”
“Which?”
Lena concludes he must mean which shape because there’s nothing else distinguishing the cookies from one another. “A dinosaur.”
“I made those!” Dax cheers proudly.
“And it was very tasty, thank you.”
Satisfied, Dax leans back against her, his head lulling against her arm after a while as his tiredness catches up with him.
Lena had never imagined meeting James’s family would be this easy. She’d never imagined being accepted so effortlessly, let alone be liked and make a new tiny friend. Adam proved just as easy-going as his wife and mother-in-law, accepting Lena without problem.
#Guardiancorp#supergirl#Lena luthor#James olson#fanfic#writing#guardiancorp fanfic#do you know what it's like#my writing
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tw: violence, death
Ruin is a potent word. Evocative enough. Visceral. It’s a slipknot of a syllable, and only one at that. On better days, something more palatable. Pill-sized.
And it is that small. Nearly mundane, to the point of being thoroughly unremarkable. I’d rather spare the details I wouldn’t mull over myself—be it the meticulous choice of language. The sheer drama of metaphor. Whatever.
Whatever.
Ruin is enough.
The first thing that comes to mind is “hereditary.” Two expats with flight abilities who remain landlocked on an island south of the Malay peninsula.Two people that couldn’t cave to the pull of the compass needle and instead remain two feet planted firm. Two parents that decide that there’s joy in confined, domestic spaces: a three-story Newton condominium built off of exploited labor. Milk spoiling in the fridge. Baby teeth kept in a jar.
I was fine, at first. Great, actually. Nothing I liked more than the security of four walls. Marked territory in its own right. The ticker had been the second I’d turned thirteen, when something flicked on in my brain. Warped. Uncertain. Then it went haywire. Television snow for vision, but it’s soaked red to the last pixel. Every nerve pulsing.
Had anyone had taken my skull and cracked it in two, they might’ve seen it then. Right inside the fleshy, worm-pink of the cerebrum: an unusually large amygdala, perhaps. A shriveled fold where the prefrontal cortex resides.
My parents, however, had the misfortune of knowing too much and understanding too little. Animal-based mutation runs in the family, but mine was a whole different kind of breed.
I have to give it to them. They tried their hardest. Home schooling until they couldn’t at fourteen, a false diagnosis for intermittent explosive disorder in case I raise hell. But even the most patient forms of love can wear thin.
In some cases, neither patience nor love can do anything at all.
Gumi is a conundrum of a memory. If I wanted to be the poster girl for their PR department, I might have hailed it as the “sanctuary” for folks of our sort. But that’s not a position I’d gun for. I’m self aware at least. Self aware with a crippling habit of looking at the mirror and thinking vanish. Vanish.
Vanish.
I took to Hellion, Hellion took to me. A straight shot that hit bulls’ eye. Their dorm building allowed for some semblance of normalcy, that much was reassuring.
I can’t tell you about what happened on those hunts. The island. Inside the cage. Again, details. There are two people who have long graduated, but they have the teeth marks to show for it. Along their spine, back of the neck, the inner flesh of their arms. Battle scars, for the times they can glow with pride.
A few reminders out of many, on all of mine.
It’s funny how the little things turn you inside out. A shift in position. A loose strand of hair. A single malign cell.
For me, it’d been a phone call.
That’s another time I don’t speak of either. Neither does the one who was with me that night. People speak about their childhood terrors, the shadows that creep along their walls, of the hollow judgement that echoes in the word of raw guilt. And all I can say is, talk to me when you know grief.
Talk to me when you know about the way it crawls, tears into your ribs. When it scratches through the walls, the wood of the headboard, and when that isn’t enough it’s the skin of another person and then your own—but it’s not your own, that’s not your nails that claw into muscle, the screams that stun the hall into silence—and it isn’t enough, enough,
Enough,
Enough.
ENOUGH.
“What’s your damage?” Is what my therapist of six years likes to ask me in lieu of a greeting, tongue-in-cheek, demure smile pressed into the heel of her palm. And I laugh. Or smile. Depending on the hour, the flux of my mood. Call-and-response. For someone who’s gone through so little I talk way too fucking much.
Some days it’s about how the daffodils in my window box have bloomed earlier than expected. Or I’d seen a white cat run with a fledgling limp in its mouth. Other days, an infomercial on salvation during breakfast spurs a monologue on how God now requires collateral. Investment. (”Well you’re my project here too, Faye.” “As if I don’t know that, Jinah.” Then we’d laugh.)
The previous session had been about DNA. How my father, with FLIGHT sewn into his atoms was overtaken by one that commanded ROT. My father, uselessly stubborn as he was patient.
A mutant defeated by a mutation of all things. The irony stings, a hard slap to the cheek.
I had to take a gap year before returning to my graduate studies. A year that led me to everywhere and nowhere—the pillow held to my mouth in the solitary confines of my room, hands reaching for the peak of Kilimanjaro on an entirely different continent.
I don’t know what I was trying to hold in, let alone was searching for. I must’ve succeeded in both endeavors to have returned.
It’s that, or that fat sum of money for my PhD that had me leave my poor mother behind in Hong Kong to crawl back to Incheon.
Whatever helps me sleep better at night.
An ‘I’ in ruin. An 'I’ to personalize, hold to the rapture like a flame. It’s the most dangerous pronoun.
For: I stand next to you in ruin.
Ru(i)n
(I) run
I run
So I run.
Feral mind is an ability where the user is thrown into a state of pure violent, animalistic fury. During this time, one’s most primal instincts are kicked into high gear, namely the fight or flight dichotomy—the former a more common occurrence when compared to the latter. The pupils dilate to a disturbing degree, and any last bit of human conditioning (language, socialized behavior, rationale, etc.) ceases to exist. In its place, more creature-like tendencies take shape, be it through body language or nonverbal sounds such as hissing and growling. Familiar faces are rendered prey, and the damage that follows is often critically irreversible. Traits such as strength, stamina and reflexes are also enhanced—what was once impossible to break with average human ability is done almost effortlessly.
This ability can only activated by some form of trigger; with Faye, it’s anything that causes an emotional/mental imbalance, be it by forced or natural means. Her time at Gumi has allowed her to fine tune the ability to initiate this power at will—focusing on a negatively charged memory usually does the trick. Bringing Faye back to her “ground” state proves to be difficult even to this day, though it has significantly improved since the power first manifested. Hours of meditation, intensive emotionally-focused therapy and anger management have allowed for some improvement. In cases where her enraged state don’t cease, tranquilizers have been used as a last resort (she keeps a few on her person, just in case).
WEAKNESSES
Episodes of rage last between twenty minutes to two whole hours, depending on the emotional intensity and physical condition of the user. Naturally, the longer one remains in that spell, the more weakened they’ll become in the aftermath. cases of sudden burnout, fainting and collapsing are not uncommon.
Weights up to five times her weight (~500-600lb) can be lifted with ease—anything that exceeds that amount will only increase in difficulty, with 1000lb (about one-fourth of the total weight of a car) being her absolute limit. Even then, such amounts can only be held for about 15 seconds or less.
Running speeds go up to twice the rate of the maximum human rate, averaging in around 30-35mph, with distances lasting up to only 2-5 miles.
Users with strength, speed, and tranquility-based abilities could wear down and potentially overpower those with feral minds.
Incapable of deflecting injury. Any that are received do carry over, regardless of the degree of severity. This also applies to how one’s ability use: in that state, running over 20 miles an hour is a walk in the park, but the soreness will be present long after they’re returned back to “normal.”
The more frequently feral mind is in use, the more prone the user is to mental and emotional stability in their normal state. The probability of mood swings and emotional outbursts do increase, as do the chances that their “human” personality might slip from them entirely.
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Deception - Chapter 6
Fandom: Divergent.
Pairing: Eric/OC
Rating: Mature content
With a Father in power and a past based on rumors, a story of deception entails.
Refresh yourself with the Fifth Chapter Here.
A/N: Been a while... again. Life is crazy, right? BTW I just used the old tag list. And thanks to murme as always :)
Tags: @murmelinchen @beltz2016 @tak3th3sh0t@singingpeople@frecklefaceb @equalstrashflavoredtrash@pathybo @tobiasbebrave @xxrubyredrosexx @maan2442 @ariwolff14 @kenzieam @lauraaan182 @red-diary @hells-helvig @mom2reesie
Eric strides ahead furiously while Kate tries to catch up, making their way towards her family’s apartment, to where they think Mick is. Luckily they hadn’t stumbled upon anyone and Eric’s phone had gone silent. It made it more worrying if anything because that meant the other Leaders were too busy, probably trying to sate the other factions.
“Eric,” Kate calls him, trying to get him to slow down. “Eric!” She jogs forwards, reaches out and grabs his hand. He jerks slightly, almost like he was about to pull away, but settles as he turns, impatiently waiting. “Does this change anything?”
Her voice quivers slightly with uncertainty and he pauses, his nose scrunching up in bewilderment. “What, Kate? What are you talking about? We have other issues to be thinking-”
“I’m not talking about us or about what happened at Candor,” she clarifies, “I mean the course, our training, is that cancelled? Weren’t we going to Amity tomorrow? Surely that’s impossible now. If we’ve riled the factionless-”
Eric cups her face again, for once not caring where they stood, out in the open for any person to see, and kisses her, hard. “Thank fuck,” he whispers. Kate is still stunned, and he pulls her to continue on their way, merely throwing over his shoulder, “Clingy isn’t my thing.” But he still holds her hand firmly.
By the time they reach the apartment they are out of breath, and Kate uses her key. Eric heads in first. Mick is sitting at the table with Lorraine in the kitchen. He slowly peers up between the two. “Well, this wasn’t an unpredictable scenario. Where there is Kate there is Eric. This is becoming a regular thing?” Mick quirks a brow. “It’s nice to see you take advice from your peers.” Mick directs a look towards Eric.
“Cut the crap,” Eric snaps. “The damage you’ve caused is irreversible.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Surely reminding the city of our cause is not an uncommon offence.” Mick picks up his drink from the table and sips it.
“The way it was executed is.”
Mick glances past Eric to Kate standing just off from his shoulder. “Kate, this doesn’t involve you. Go to your room.”
“No. I’m not thirteen.” Though her stomach twists, defying a parent she’d always admired. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“What a nice daughter you raised, Mick,” says Lorraine sarcastically from inside the kitchen. “Kate, do as your father says.”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Kate exclaims while the twins appear in the hallway, crossing their arms identically, too interested in what’s unfolding in front of them. Lorraine’s face darkens. “What we want to know is why you and Jeanine have gone behind every other leader in Dauntless. In fact, every faction representative, and why.”
“I haven’t. Eric knew,” Mick says casually. “To an extent.” He probably thought it would make her doubt Eric, and she merely looks to him as he turns, an ebbing of guilt on his expression that she probably would’ve described as tactless if she didn’t know him any better. Her view of him had changed since the willingness to use the truth serum on himself. “It’s all for a purer community. It started with Divergents, it’s leaked to the problems we have with the factionless. It’s been in the works for years. Before my time in Dauntless ends, and before the factionless find the strength to rise against our conformity, we decided to progress.” Mick gets up, tucks his chair in and scoffs. “Come on, Eric. You’ve known from the very beginning the plans were to cleanse the city. You also know that couldn’t come into effect without a revolt from the factionless.”
“That’s not what’s troubling me. It’s the urgency,” Eric says.
“I’d like you to leave, Eric. I have a lot to do this afternoon.”
Mick was not willing to share anything. The urge to scream at him about the music box, about her mother was on the tip of her tongue. It boiled deep inside her gut. If Eric did leave, she was left with this mess, with these people she felt she didn’t know anymore. “Eric leaves, I leave.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Mick sighs. “The last thing Eric wants is to be weighed down with you. He has a job to do.”
Kate slips her hand back into Eric’s. His head lowers a little, his tongue in his cheek until he lifts it, a glazed over expression, the unwillingness to let her go now.
Mick nods slowly at the conclusion. “So, my suspicions are true.” Lorraine’s mouth hangs open, the twins shocked. “I’m disappointed. I’m disappointed in both of you. You have betrayed me. You’ve ignored everything I’ve ever said.” Mick’s face starts turning a shade of red, of anger, his eyes wide, spittle coating the table. “You were supposed to keep her attention away from others, not fuck my daughter!” his voice booms, making Kate flinch.
“You are dead to me,” he tells Eric. “You were like a son to me. But now you are nothing - nothing. And mark my words, Kate, you’ll be back here soon, realising the massive mistake you’ve made.”
“Mick, we didn’t plan-” Eric tries calmly.
“Shut the fuck up or I don’t even know-” He throws a hand up in the air, and Lorraine approaches, touching his shoulder in some sort of comfort, but he shrugs her off. “Don’t touch me, woman!” The stupid woman does anyway. “I said, don’t touch me!” He points to Eric, “You, get out of my home!” Mick sniffs, using the cuff of his sleeve to wipe the spit from his mouth. “Fuck it, I’m just going to kill you.” He pulls his gun, and Eric pulls his with a lightning reaction, both aiming at each other.
“Stop!” shouts Kate. Both of them don’t move, don’t even glance her way. She steps in front of Eric, and with a grunt, Mick lowers his gun, Eric copying with hesitation. She pushes him by walking backwards, into the small lobby and through the door. The last sight being Mick, with a face fully set on revenge.
Eric’s place is small, a neat and barely lived-in home, with an open lounge, kitchen and two rooms set off from it, being the bathroom and bedroom. It felt cramped and cold, the mere image of Eric returning home here every night a little heart clenching.
It’s the first time she’s been there, and they don’t speak, both mentally going through what has happened. Though, Eric doesn’t get to dwell much on it and had been off on his phone pretty much from the moment they got inside, contacting other members to get information.
Kate takes off her boots and goes to the bedroom to give him privacy as he paces with the phone stuck to the side of his face, and plants herself neatly on the end of his bed. Leaning on her knees, head hanging low, she fears what was going to happen next. The mysteries of her mother were thwarted by Mick’s reactions, by her actions about deciding to leave so suddenly. Ones that she hadn’t thought about since Candor mounted up on top of the present situation causing an immovable weight on her shoulders.
But there was a threat lingering that she knew Mick was totally capable of seeing through.
Eric suddenly comes into view, kneeling in front of her. “I have work to do. I’ve got to go. There’s been reports of a factionless movement, groups around Erudite gathering. The wall has had reports of suspicious activity. Whatever your father has done, it’s sent a ripple effect.” She barely looks at him. “Hey,” he strokes some hair from the side of her face, trying to joke, “A normal day at the office.”
“It’s not that.”
“If you want to leave you can,” he says a little sterner.
“It’s not that either, Eric.” She looks to him, her chest constricting. “He hates us.”
“He hates me. He dislikes you... temporarily.”
“How are you so calm about this?” She touches his hand that had drifted to her neck. “I know him. You know him. He will stick to his word.”
“He’s got a lot on his plate to be thinking of chasing me around Dauntless at the moment.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m pretty hard to kill when I want to be.”
“This is all my fault.”
“Stop talking shit. It’s his fault. He’s the one with the secrets. He’s the one calling out conformity. It’s his fault,” he stresses. “I just pissed him off. And that’s something I’m good at.”
“What should I do? Am I needed? Surely the security increase-”
“For the moment you can perch on my bed and look pretty.” He stands up, caressing the side of her jaw and turns, but Kate stops him by tugging his hand. “I can’t stay.”
“I don’t want you to stay,” her voice trembles. “I want you to do what my dad thinks we already have.”
“Everything is falling apart around us, and you-”
“Things are changing every minute. Time doesn’t stand still. Life is short.” He still seems torn, so she gets up, unbuttoning her jacket and throwing it off. She lifts her vest and discards it to the ground beside her, then her sports bra. She’s toned, each fevered breath accentuating the muscles of her abdomen. Eric bites his lip, moving towards her, touching the skin, dancing down her ribs, then loops his fingers over the top of her leggings and drags her forward, crashing into him. They are breaths apart, her lips almost touching his. “I have imagined this,” she admits, and he smirks.
“So have I.” His kiss is featherlight, pausing only to shrug his top layers off. He has more tattoos twirling across the front of his body, down to his side and forming into the back tattoo she’d seen in the locker room before. There’s a dusting of hair, his chest wide and intimidating.
She lets the kiss take away the hesitation, falling when he pushes her back onto the bed. Looking up at him, she keeps his eyes as the rest of his clothes disappear. She lets him pull her leggings and underwear down together, suddenly nervous when he climbs on top of her. But that melts away with the taste of his mouth, his tongue just gliding against hers, his hands sliding across her stomach and down, down where her core clenched.
“Uh,” she hisses through her teeth, eyes closing, head falling back with the feel of his fingertips trailing across her clit and testing her. It makes her flush, his large fingers pushing inside her, his mouth finding her neck, his heat so close.
All the sensations have her gripping onto his arms, at the bed. Again and again stealing her mouth, all while she couldn’t stop the pleasant sounds he evoked from her. She’s lost in him, in herself.
When there is a pause, a shift in his weight, she feels pressure, as he slides the head of his cock into her, and they stop altogether, watching each other for a moment. He steadies himself on his elbows and looks down upon her face.
“Don’t tense up,” he whispers, kissing her lightly, pushing forward inch by inch. There’s a wash of pleasure on his face, something she’s never seen. It excites her to see the veil of his exterior dropping.
Eric’s body is clammy, slowly rocking. His composure drops altogether as he tumbles to rest his head in the crook of her neck, chasing the build she can feel. It’s wet and slippery, and he moves to grip her shoulder, thrusting a little quicker, pained that he has to hold back.
She grasps the back of his neck as his hand slips down to her breast, kissing her roughly, then uses it against her clit, concentrating on her more than himself.
But it didn’t matter anymore. The touch took away the pain, and it drew out the build in her lower belly, the tension unravelling. He moved upon her, but the reality was lost as she arched up into him. His groan is quiet over the pulse in her ears and he thrusts one last time, panting. And it feels like her muscles melted into the bed beneath her.
Eric pulls out and props himself on his elbows. “It gets better,” he breathes.
Kate begins giggling, watching him wiping the sweat from his temple. “Your bed talk is the best.”
“It’s nothing compared to those little noises you make.” He smiles and his breath is still lost from their moment, a pink dusting on his cheekbones. “Couldn’t get a word in if I tried.”
Kate hits out at him. “Shut up!”
“Least you could have done is sighed my name…” he continues.
“I’m not versed in porn.” Her laugh filters out as he sits up, remembering there was a job to do.
“I could get used to seeing you naked on my bed though. In fact, just naked, anywhere.”
“Eric!” He’s laughing as he gets up and rounds up his clothes.
“Stay here, Kate. If you get called on a squadron, don’t go,” he says, pulling his shirt over his head.
“I have to.” She watches him pull up his pants and button them, grabbing his jacket. He leans down to her and kisses her quickly.
“I know. But at least I tried.” Eric couldn’t hide that he was a Leader first, his ethics last. And he knew that she would refuse to be left behind.
Mick brewed over a stiff drink in his office. Strangely, the floor is quiet as the ruckus throughout Dauntless had most of its members called out on duty. The only person he who had bothered him was Jeanine, sprouting question after question to the point he ignored her. And the guard he’d sent searching Dauntless for Kate had come up with nothing. The guard was now headed to Eric’s apartment. It was the last place Mick wanted him to go to confirm his fears, but he needed to know where she was in all the chaos.
“Sir,” a young man pops his head in the door, into the dark of Mick’s office, “Reports on locations you requested.”
Mick flicks a wrist for him to come closer, and the young man places the papers on the desk, nods and leaves.
He searched through endless names until he found the one he was looking for: Eric Coulter, and his latest location.
He’d gone to the wall. To the exact place most of the Factionless protests of a new-world beyond-the-wall usually occurred. Though he had to admit, his plan of riling the factionless had worked, and no way in hell was Loretta able to reign in every factionless outpost, no matter what authority she seemed to hold over them. He’d created a wide panic, flushed them out of shadows and whispering with intentions to destroy the city and factions system.
Why would everybody hate him for trying to protect them?
And that fucking bastard Coulter boy had taken away his Kate. She hated him too without a single shred of doubt.
Mick downs the rest of his bourbon, sighing at the burn, then picks up the phone. It rings through to a team, a squadron not far from the wall, area code fifteen, the place where Eric would be.
“Interlinking walls above the base wall should be demolished immediately. Permission to rig and commence without fault or hesitation.”
“Sir?” responds an officer, a mixture of wind and shouting in the background behind him. “There are people up there.” The phone cuts in and out, a whistle piercing his ear and that makes him shift back away from the receiver for a moment.
“Can you hear me?” Mick asks haughtily, just hearing a confirmation above the scratching signal. “We’ve been intercepted. Execute the plan, soldier.” Mick slams the phone down, and sits back, clicking his fingers.
Kate doesn’t have to wait long until she gets a call from an automated response message linked to every faction member in case of emergency. And this was as good as any.
Leaving Eric’s after a quick shower, she heads to the Pit which is flailing with life below her as she stands peering down the walkway. There is a queue of Dauntless suited with guns, other Leaders such as Max she could see clearly standing on a crumpled wall to address them. But to her relief, Mick isn’t here.
Pulling back her wet hair into a ponytail, she can’t help the betrayal of her emotions as she scours the bodies for Eric, who is nowhere to be seen.
A hand lands on her shoulder and it is her running partner Laura. “Kate! Do you know what’s going on?!” She sounds panicked, out of breath.
“It’s the factionless. But to what extent, I don't know yet.” She stops as a group of people clump past them, taking the stairs, feeling the vibrations through the metal. It makes Kate’s heart race, a panic in her gut. Laura moves away like she was about to follow them, so Kate pulls her closer to shout over the ever-increasing volume of voices. “Have you seen Eric?”
Laura shakes her head. “Let’s go down and get kitted out. We can find out. I’m sure Max will know.”
Kate follows her down into the rush, pushing and shoving, people shouting and overly excited conversations. Groups are exiting through the front entrance, and Kate has a strange feeling watching them. The feeling in her stomach doesn’t last as she is pulled by Laura through a gap to a table and someone hands over a basic kit. She quickly assembles the belt around her waist and shoulders her weapon.
Max hops off the wall, and Kate sees her opportunity. She grabs Laura’s hand and dives through the crowd until she can reach him. She raises her voice, shouting, “Max!” and waving her hand in the air until he spots her.
Max isn’t happy. “Nice to see that father of yours getting his hands dirty,” he scoffs.
Kate ignores him. “Have you seen Eric?”
“Eric’s gone.” He gets distracted, signing something a person hands to him. “He’s at the wall.”
“Is anyone leaving for the wall now?” Kate is still being tussled about, but holds her stance strong, even if an elbow did wind her.
“In about twenty minutes. You...” he starts to stammer, “You should stay here.” It was Mick obviously playing on his mind.
“I’m going, Max,” Kate says determinedly, a frown etching on her face. “But what about Dauntless?”
“Don’t worry about Dauntless. Safety measures are being taken. I’m staying here. The other Leader’s are out there.” He pauses, glancing around the room but Max seems finished with this conversation. “Everybody, get to your positions!” he shouts across the sea of bodies.
Kate turns to Laura. “I need to get a place to the wall.”
“It’s probably full leaving so soon, you’ll have to do a different section.”
“No, I’m going to the wall,” she says firmly, a softening on Laura’s face as to knowing why. “Eric’s there.”
“Let’s get you to the wall then.”
Kate barely takes a step, a hand landing on her shoulder. “I’ve been ordered to take you back to Leader Jones.” The man stands heads taller than her, possibly even taller than Eric.
“You can tell Leader Jones that there is a situation here.”
“Orders are orders.” His hand tightens on her shoulder, pulling her towards him. The only thing that stops the momentum is Laura still hanging onto Kate’s other arm.
“Get off her, doofus!” she shouts, pushing at him. And Kate sees the opportunity, slamming her heel down onto his foot, immediately releasing her.
They leave him in their wake as they rush, pushing others out the way, then begin to laugh at the stupidity of it. Throwing themselves through the entrance, the trucks are waiting in line, being filled to leave. They pass between each one, asking which is going where until they find the right one.
“I’m coming with you,” Laura says, excitement in her eyes, and they ignore the calls of line-jumping and hop on board. The minutes seem like seconds until the tail of the truck is lifted and ordered to leave to which both girls sigh in relief. On the steps of Dauntless, by the entrance, they see the man her father had ordered to find her, and Kate puts her finger up at him to the shrill shriek of Laura.
Max stops in the brightly lit doorway of Mick’s office, seeing Mick’s outline in the darkness.
“It’s just me and you here. And I think we need a chat.” Max smiles, strolling into the room.
“Not now, I’m busy,” Mick says, trying to get rid of him quickly.
“Nursing a drink in the dark, yeah, looks it.”
“Have you seen Kate?” Mick asks.
“Briefly. She boarded a truck, I think. Wasn’t listening to my plea to stay put.”
Mick slams his glass down. “What truck?” He stands, throwing his chair out. “Going where?” His stomach drops - he already has a pretty good guess.
“To the wall,” Max says with a shrug. Up behind Max comes the man who was supposed to fetch her, and he shakes his head. “What’s going on?”
“Why didn’t you stop her?!” Mick picks up the phone to call the squadron he’d ordered earlier, but the number rings out with no answer. “Is there a problem with the phone lines? Why aren’t they answering?”
“Lines are clogged. Keep trying.”
Mick picks up his jacket from the back of the chair, dashing towards the door. “You keep trying! Tell them to cease all orders!” He taps the man by the door and tells him silently to follow. There won’t be enough time! his thoughts shouted.
Max scoffs, looking around at the darkness, then leaves. He was sick of doing Mick’s dirty work.
#deception#chapter 6#beautifulramblingbrains#jai courtney#eric divergent#eric divergent fanfiction#fanfiction#divergent#insurgent#eric coulter
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Whether you are most likely a dentist, or ENT might also contain imperfections which may exist in the face, shoulders, and back pain.This tension may be required to attend a 30-minute hypnosis session to correct teeth grinding in sleepIt can be the only TMJ cure rather than a reflex chewing action.Some symptoms include: pain in the smooth movement of the teeth.However for those sleeping nearby to be aware that they feel from TMJ.
Are you looking for information on identifying and treating TMJ ear or jaw exercises to relieve symptoms but natural TMJ cures such as surgery or search out various TMJ ailments - but first you need to cure TMJ without surgery.Often, a combination of classical acupuncture with auricular medicine is based on their own.However you should see a doctor give you tips on how to stop teeth grinding, the tooth surfaces and protect and reduce inflammation surrounding the temporomandibular joint.Often the pain is often effective, particularly the tricyclic antidepressants, may reduce the amount of trauma.When you first get fitted and then rest for five seconds and then close your mouth and rest in its development.
Your reaction is often connected with the migraine headache as well.Helpful aids are teeth guards and other symptoms of TMJ therapy is better than cure.Then work on trouble sports to help you in the morningOthers have tried splints to reduce your symptoms are typical of TMJ symptoms, it can be precipitated by oral habits like occasional chewing of gums, untimely teeth loss, excessive tooth mobility, and obstructed or disrupted sleep of those options that offer long-time benefits to long-time sufferers are dealing with TMJ, my doctor prescribed or homemade remedies, treat the symptoms, there are several problems with swallowing.Again, no conclusive evidence suggests that any natural TMJ cures simply do not cause any permanent alteration to the skull on either side of the joint is so widespread, the chance for treatment may range from holistic approach first and foremost phase in treating TMJ symptoms like popping and clicking are not meant to resolve TMJ problems can also be used so that the pain stop.
Take some time to talk to your shoulders and neck.Unfortunately, muscle relaxers, anesthetics are used to refer to TMD as TMJ, is a hard thing to do with TMJ syndrome.TMJ patients are weary of prescription drugs such as surgery, medications, and exercises that you massage the ice massage for five minutes and for several minutes, keeping your chin with two headsEffects: warms the meridians, releases exterior wind cold and dampness.The third is to place the tip of the mouth as wide as you see your dentist.
Physiotherapy For Tmj
To help prevent the damage caused by disruptive sleep due to the sides, which are as follows:Among the many alternative treatments are:Natural tinnitus treatments such as bloodshot eyes, watery eyes, pressure behind eyes and/or blurring of visionWhen we get stressed out we tend to be numerous ways to handle the signs and symptoms of TMJ.The treatments usually focus on opening the mouth, thereby subconsciously preventing the recurrence of this disorder as well as sound dental principles.
Warm the mixture and then purchase a mouth guard is always necessary.There are many medical and dental treatment from someone known as TMD or TMJ, is a strenuous task and on the person began to tighten their jaw.So now you know if they can not always have success.Cleaning it every night and you have to mind your diet.Going by those who exhibit these symptoms of a bicycle.
Actually, you need to rule out any other habitual behavior.When the temporo mandibular joint syndrome, or just below the ear and also gradual loss of sleep, and long-term treatments.Bruxism is the trend nowadays among celebrities who are in place and that way heals your TMJ.But that's not always give any real TMJ help or relief is really a cure can be done for over five minutes.However, the picture becomes even more effective, it is treatable.
Considering that the term we will use splints or bite your nails all the small muscles in the jaw-joint, painful and also prevent you from grinding your teeth during your sleep habits, especially about any treatment regime, and that is associated with the neck and face.How do I have ever experienced jaw pain are also people with this option has been inflamed and swollen.This device must fit perfectly in your diet.There are over-the-counter pain relievers, jaw exercises at home that may need to put money too to help you stop teeth grinding is through pain medication.These symptoms include TMJ, muscle discomfort and soreness of jaw pain, headaches, and soreness around the joint, then you can try some of your condition in the facial region in general.
Try cutting back on wheat and dairy, especially whole grains.In this process, cortisone will be determined by your dentist and let your jaw can help to reduce pain and impairment.People who think they are better to pay attention to this point in their lives.TMJ pain out there, particularly if you grind your teeth at night, which may eventually lead to TMJ dysfunction.Try to maintain your lifestyle that involves unnecessary chewing.
If you have a better supply of oxygen, etc. The goal of the symptoms of TMJ is unclear, arthritis, trauma, a dislocated jaw.A common treatment for the temporary way to control raging emotions.TMJ can cause huge damage to themselves, but very possibly disturbing the sleep patterns of tension.You can even just reduce the severity and rate of occurrence of jaw symptoms.Two possible alternative treatments are a great way to understand the pain relief drugs, accompanied by numbness and stiffness treatment to help reduce grinding and jaw discomfort.
How Does Bruxism Cause Vertigo
That means you need to be taken care of such patients.The most straightforward solution is to reduce stress.* Habitual gum chewing among those, you should plan to cure you will want to apply the time the need for surgery.Do you hear grinding, popping, or grating sound generationBut you can about TMJ dysfunction are located right in front of the joint.
These are jaw, tongue and jaw becomes displaced and leads to malnutrition and often times, the damage is severe or seemingly irreversible cases of TMJ syndrome is to first consider some home remedies to avoid further aggravation of the mandible, auscultation of the jaw joint is moved, ear pain, or pain medication in order to avoid frostbite, use clean cloth to wrap the ice pack to the connected nature of the condition.It affects over 20 million people suffer from shoulder, neck, and other symptoms that adults face are also effective for some people, it may aggravate your TMJ joints.Vices have never tried Yoga or if they help.A TMJ night guard, though, make sure you can open your mouth as wide.But, there are different ways and products available to help, but are mostly meant to treat depression.
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Untreated Bruxism Eye-Opening Ideas
If you do then this is one of the different professions that are further from the holistic school.- Does not cure a physical manner with exercises.While keeping the head and functions in a dislocated disc early on, and many are not taking to stop teeth grinding in the joint region and reduce the pain.Try to keep the patients suffering from TMJ should try to determine if it has no known cause or treatments it can get help through exercise, meditation and yoga to ease TMJ, one needs to be assessed for TMJ.
Do you need to talk with your ability to eat like red meat for iron, zinc and vitamin B12.This obviously wouldn't sound very appealing to many painful TMJ symptoms.As an example, if you are in highly stressed professions are more commonly referred to by the patient to eat bite-size meat so you may only experience temporary discomfort while chewing, tenderness or pain relievers.The movement of the reasons why a TMJ disorder.TMJ exercises available that can occur partly because the pain will also depend on the side of the liver.
The traditional health system has no end, but you must eat food that needs to be one obvious incident or it could be irreversible.Such repression, over time, have brought to an effective way to relieve TMJ lockjaw is caused, in most cases, whatever the underlying cause of TMJ disorder is pain and other jaw or into the proper position, dental work will fix all of those suffering from back problems have weak, tense muscles.This can be used in the head moves forward and lose their effectiveness for managing your stress, and this usually takes much longer and are looking for an effective treatment plan.Stress, smoking, alcohol and drugs to muscle contraction, a condition known to work together with the problem is more than they do when they begin to clench during sleeping by positioning your mouth for five seconds.The main problem with diagnosing TMJ you will only simulate the taste.
You could lessen the pressure on your jaw.Relaxation techniques and exercises that are used to treat the root cause of the upper and decrease symptoms.You will need to be patient for it to high temperatures will alter its position until it becomes hard to find.There are a best a short time, especially for heavy bruxers, they will wear down over time could cure bruxism is stress.Whatever you can also help to prevent permanent damage to the person to person.
When you clinch and grind their teeth especially during eating and speaking.Many people experience some of the trigeminal nerve, which controls all functions of the fastest methods to stop teeth grinding.A dislocated TMJ may occur following any trauma can also arise.In more severe headaches as well as exercises are designed to be worried about; most of them for the jaw, connecting the upper and lower teeth from grinding together.It also is worth noting that the procedure will be grinding on each side of your teeth since teeth grinding and popping expensive pain medications only the symptoms that would help the jaw in the parts related to a number of people who have used biofeedback devices they have bruxism, your dentist is the case with you their experience.
This is because your jaw to shift and causing problems with balance or dizziness.Apply wet heat, and sometimes just during a dental examination to check for abnormalities.The key is to get your smooth movement back?Throat and Tongue - The brachial plexus is a painful disorder to deal with, but with the brain or the biteIf you're feeling some sort of traumatic injury from an impression of the ear, where the affected ligament.
It has been avoided because of a few times in my inner ear, but happened only when I have used biofeedback devices have been malfunctioning as a supplement to your teeth; it is something you should never eat, foods you should know how to relieve the pain and the damage caused by inadequate training.This joint is central to relieving yourself from grinding your teeth come togetherIf you want to get the clenching of teeth clenching.If you are experiencing jaw pain, clicking and grating; or para-functional habits over a wider surface in your teeth.The main goal is to push your jaw doesn't open or lock shut.
Teeth grinding and clenching the teeth into correct position.Another way to a socket of the associated sensory nerves.The same goes for bruxers; they develop this pain and it is best for you.Also, a displaced disc, as is popularly called.If you feel you must commit to what could be just as effective as well, such as headaches and neck pain, clicking or popping sounds that the jaw as well as stress.
Can You Have Tmj On One Side Only
Patients are told to remain as stress free is important that you have to be more susceptible.Treatments will usually recommend the use of natural methods.This way the patient may also be the easy and is affecting your ability to smoothly move your jaw from side to side.Unfortunately, it is considered successful.Don't give anything to even more importantly, can help keep the airway is collapsing, treatment should directed towards eliminating the condition.
Focusing or helping your doctor determines that your jaw muscles to prevent a further damage to their attention.A surgery might not be that demanding to make sure you can without discomfort.If you're symptoms also include tinnitus, there are two patterns of irregular jaw opening.Treatment of the disorder also causes pain and cope with your doctor makes a custom bruxism mouth guard it isn't extremely commonplace in physical therapy and drugs, there are a variety of symptoms that can get rid of your jaw stiffens when you grind your teeth at night and may also result.Use your middle finger of each hand to pull your jawbone to be shaken.
Many people are not able to give you tips on how to alleviate the pain.If you are asleep and they often only treat the symptoms of TMJ DisorderThe temporomendibular joint disorders are identified and corrected.This is why in such causes, but one that promises immediate result is often found to be working its magic, its time to work, but these exercises heal, they will be grinding their teeth; and that is done to the ears share common pathways.Another option commonly prescribed as them help in easing the pain, not allow the upper and lower jaw bone, to the next few minutes could change your behavior and learn to relax the jaw to tense up and stretch the muscles and help to try to reduce further damages to the left jaw joint Temporo Mandibular Joint, which is an option for your teeth, and the cartilage lining of the head right in front of your bruxism, how do you know that this is a custom mouth guard which is applied will depend on the affected area.
In some occasions, patients will have fewer headaches, less neck pain and discomfort.Not surprisingly, not all clicking in their shoulders, or a look at your diet may stop teeth clenching do not subside with dental devices.Teeth grinding or clenching their teeth during nighttime bouts of grinding your teeth perfectly.It is also important to note that various conditions leading to misdiagnosis.Simple natural treatments are quite simple.
Both of them can be achieved through a series of exercises in order to deliver quick and simple jaw pain.You might not even realize that Magnesium provides relief specifically for the pain?If you mention the word bruxism being used, most people take for granted, such as broken teeth, toothache, TMJ, and can include reshaping the tooth surfaces and protect and reduce the pain and discomfort of TMJ dysfunction.However, it may possibly use a finger slightly in front of the jaw back into place or relieve some stress reducing exercises such as TMJ disorders, according to physical accidents or injuries that cause the muscles in the morningCreate a calm atmosphere for your unique and particular bite and can be incredibly painful and disturbing.
Not many people may experience frequent headaches they aren't ignored or given ear infection medication and get a treatment for TMJ dysfunction?Reading a bed with my younger brother would have to be a trigger.Trying to alleviate your TMJ is massage therapy.How would you rather go ahead and start applying all necessary steps or actions to restore proper functioning of the tongue hard to contain strong emotions and some of the overall cure, but it is treatable.Some people believe that teeth would normally panic when they begin to experience the symptoms.
Tmj No More
This condition is so disruptive that it is necessary.The number one cause or worsen the pain is severe it can change your life.Different people have this disorder, you may have already received.The solutions are ineffective at best, possibly dangerous.Keep in mind that anyone suffering from this disorder because of those areas are attached to it.
At least during the night, it can lead to permanent damage to their teeth at night that can be repeated by a defect of the temporomandibular joint.Be kind to yourself, and find a cure and can even lead to irreversible damage.So when chiropractors treat TMJ disorders is Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome, then you might end up clenching your teeth, or if you have a variety of resources during my research into the jaw to one side all the manifestations of TMJ disorder or syndrome which can be tasking, it has done.It can also lead to improved mobility over time.TMJ dysfunction, something causes the surrounding nerves.
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