#the god damn bamboozle | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jaykingingram · 10 months

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I may not know how to use tumblr and I may not know how to do my job, but I can confidently say that I also don’t know how to properly spell all the Evanuris names without checking.

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dyed-indigo · 2 years

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why do so many people insist on sticking to the walls when they have glowflies like squir (squid sir) you have a jet squelcher you need to be helping us actually deal with the salmonids please

#just had the worst glowflies round of my life. our quota was 16. we got 11.#guess who collected 6 of those golden eggs #that's right. me. i had the fucking bamboozler #i got demoted for this. god. damn it

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korinthiakos · 1 year

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💞 Fake Dating AU

I can't find the meme ( & I am lazy but—— )

I do relish Fake Dating AU—— especially when both parties eventually catch feelings and end up dating for real. And my brain is saying: Professors Fake Dating. You got Hob who is a History Professor, right? And then perhaps we got the Corinthian who is an English Professor /or/ Criminology Professor. And they orchestrate this whole fake dating to see what/how their students react. Or one of them did it on a whim because their students don't think one of them can't get action ( perhaps Hob, sorry Hob. )

#[ answered. — you called forth a dream ; you caught yourself a nightmare ]#( i just wanted to spice it up. let's go with. professor x professor au + fake dating au )#( while also pranking / showing their students that they can go and god damn date )#( and make it look authentic while laughing that they're bamboozling their students )#( only to bamboozle themselves when they fall in fucking LOVE )#historylived

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wormdebut · 27 days

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WALK HIM LIKE A DOG

@hellion-child you did this. Inspired by this legendary post.

‘It’s not illegal to go to the dog park, just to hear hot dads say Good Girl.’

Rating: M CW: overusage of the term daddy and Eddie just being a horny bastard.

——

“You know, this is fucking insane, right?” Chrissy laughs while Eddie lounges on the park bench.

Yes. He’s aware.

He and Chrissy don’t even have a dog and yet—

“Chris. Look at all of these great pet parents, taking care of these little doggies. Look at em. Wonderful. Stunning, very normal.”

Chrissy levels him with a glare. Being on the wrong side of a Chrissy glare is a scary thing, but alas his dog park visits are worth it.

“No. Look, listen. You’ve got all of these doggy daddies taking their lovely pups out for runs and walks and what not and then daddy wraps up his run and takes the precious ones to this here dog park. Woof.”

It really was worth it to Eddie, alright? There is nothing wrong with going to a public dog park to maybe hear a hot sweaty man coo at his dog.

‘Good Boy’

‘Precious Girl’

Bark bark bark or whatever.

Would Eddie ever talk to any of them? Absolutely the fuck not, but a man could dream.

He was bummed though because none of the hot guys were out, today.

Damn.

He is busy scanning the area to see if he missed anyone, Chrissy yapping on and on about how they could just get a dog when someone slows their run to chat.

“Hi!” She says. This woman is tall, short hair messed up from running, she’s got a bright ass orange jacket on, and she is most certainly Chrissy’s type. Thats not fucking fair at all, now is it?

Chrissy’s complaining tapers off. “Hey.”

They smile at each other, and this is truly unfair, Eddie thinks. This whole dog park thing was for him and yet.

“I hope you don’t mind, but me and my best friend just moved to the area and honestly, I think you’re pretty so—I just thought I would say hi.” She hardly makes eye contact with Eddie. So it’s clear who she’s talking to.

Like recognizes like, he supposes.

He can respect the straight forwardness of it all. Chrissy is just kinda staring at her so he speaks up. “Well, I’m Eddie and this is Chrissy, and I can confidently say that she also thinks you’re pretty.”

Both woman turn to stare and him, Chrissy with big eyes and the other woman with a smirk. She speaks, “Well, it must be my lucky day.” She turns back to Chrissy, “I’m Robin.”

The two get talking and Eddie is happy for his best friend, he really is, but where are all the hot men?

He’s about ready to call it quits when he sees a fucking god, running with a ridiculously stunning dog.

Hot people own hot dogs, he supposes.

This guy is—fuck. He’s sweaty from running, and his hair is fucking gorgeous, even after activities. Thats a green flag. Eddie is just shocked.

This is the dog daddy of all dog daddies. He’s wearing tiny fucking red shorts that expose thighs for days and—

“Jesus fuckin’—see?” Eddie doesn’t even care that he is interrupting the girls conversation cause this guys is—god damn. “He could slap a collar on me and walk me like a dog.”

Chrissy balks. “Eddie. We are in the company of a new friend. Robin doesn’t deserves this.”

Eddie simply shrugs and Robin laughs, “No. I think it’s hilarious which guy caught your eye?”

Oh, he likes Robin. “I like her. Get her number—“ He smiles big at Chrissy, before gesturing towards the fucking Adonis in tiny little running shorts. “Anywhozle. That one, look at him. On my knees in a second.”

He ignores Chrissy’s eye roll, and watches as Robin takes in the guy, before busting out in a laugh. “Oh my god—Steve?”

Oh shit.

“I—do you—“ Abort mission. Abort abort.

“Oh yeah, remember that best friend I was telling you guys about?”

She is still laughing, and Chrissy joins her before handing Robin her phone.

Eddie feels like he just got bamboozled.

“Chrissy, babe, I’ll text you. Eddie? I’ll see what I can do.” She smiles at them both before running over to ‘Steve’ and his—their?— gorgeous dog.

“No wait I—“ Eddie tries but she’s already over with Steve who is listening intently to what Robin has to say.

Oh god, oh no. Oh god.

Chrissy is just laughing softly into her hand, which turns into full laughter quick because Steve turns to look at them, smiles and winks.

#steddie #worm brain #something something the next time Eddie is at the dog park ALONE because Chrissy is BANNED from joining him #Steve is there with his stupid pretty dog and catches Eddie’s eye.#ends up telling Eddie that Robin told him about a ‘rowdy pup’ that needed discipline or whatever #kinky kinky #puppy play and daddy kink for days #but anyways.#I’m not dead just fucking tired #I’m still here.#Steddie ficlet #bark bark woof woof woof #also confident Robin is a legend and she deserves it #Buckingham #OH ALSO. the dog is a vizsla and her name is maple

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httpsghostie · 8 months

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I luv ur high maintenance s/o💗🫰

Take the cod boys to sephora and swatch every single color on their arms lmao.

Ghost completely flabbergasted, shook, bamboozled when he finds out the price of some of these items lol.

“WHY IS IT $45 for some chalky colors luv ?!?!?!”

“$30 for THAT?!?!?!”

*accidentally got lip plumper on his eyelids* “OH BLOODY JESUS ARSE IT BLOODY FUCKING STINGS GET IT OFF MEE!!!”

141 at sephora

first of all: thank youuu<33 had lots of fun writing this

warnings: none!

✧.* gaz:

"please, baby, I just need an eyeliner." you whined as you two were passing in front of the store, gaz shrugged and went along with you.

"just an eyeliner? mhmm, I know." he said with a smirk, but was happy to see you happy.

you went inside, going straight to where the eyeliners would be and he followed just behind you.

"$25 for a marker?" he widened his eyes and you chuckled. "that's overpriced."

"yeah but it's waterproof!" you said, swatching it on the back of your hand.

"I can give you a permanent marker for less than half of that!" he laughed, looking at all the other products in the aisle. "damn, I didn't think makeup was this expensive."

"it is." you said, knowing well that there were cheaper products. "babe, what do you think about this color?" you asked, holding a liquid lipstick.

"y/n…"

"please, it's just this one." you pouted.

"fine." he laughed, giving you a kiss on the forehead and going with you to check out.

he ended up paying for you, getting all flustered to see you happy.

✧.* ghost:

"I just need to get a few things, I promise, it won't take long!" you dragged simon by the arm and he almost stumbled on the bags he carried.

"love, you just said that at the last store an hour ago." he chuckled.

"last one, I promise!" you mumbled, to which he could only sigh and follow you.

you stopped to see the eyeshadow palettes, swatching the colors on your arm and inspecting them. he just stood there with the bags in his hand, tired of having to be social all day, until his eyes met the price of stuff.

"bloody hell, darling, $50 for twelve colors? what's in them? the cure for cancer?" his eyes widened when you took the palette in your hands. "oh my god, $30 for that? are you kidding me? jesus, love, I'm going bankrupt."

you could only laugh at his reaction and the way his tired eyes followed you around the store as you picked more stuff, not even daring to ask the price of them. when you had finished shopping, you bet he stopped to get some tea on the way back home.

✧.* price:

"is this what you put on my skin that day, sweetheart? we should get this f' you. oh my god this is expensive, did you waste your expensive products on me?"

"I didn't waste them." you laughed, picking up some face masks. "I want you to have smooth skin just like me."

he isn't used to the price of beauty products, but he's also not surprised that they're overpriced. it costs x for you to get your hair products and have the most soft hair ever? swipe his credit card. costs y to get skincare products just so your skin is smooth when he's caressing your face? swipe his credit card.

usually ends up with a gigantic bill, but if you're happy he's happy.

stops by the perfumes when you're not looking to get you a new one, you have no clue how but he ended up getting your favorite.

✧.* soap:

"come here." you called him, grabbing a foundation, snatching his arm and swatching on it to see if it had enough coverage.

"jesus, what is this?" he sniffed, making you laugh.

"foundation." you inspected his arm, watching if the color would oxidate. "hm, I don't like it."

you'd leave him unattended for a minute and he would come back with a hand on his eye, complaining that it was hurting.

"lass, got something in my eye, ow, ow."

"what did you do, johnny?" you tried to wipe it off, but it was glossy and you ended up smearing it even more.

"ow, I put that thing over there-" he pointed to a section of lip plumpers, and you could only take a glance at it before he started to be a lot more dramatic. "-in my eye, ow, help, please."

you could barely breathe at how much you laughed, asking for a makeup wipe to try and get rid of the gloss. he was mumbling some things under his breath, cursing at you playfully for leaving him alone.

when you finally took it off, he still felt like his eye was burning, and you two had to leave the store due to how badly you two were laughing. not to mention that he was left with a swollen eye.

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prettyboypistol · 8 months

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Literally in every fanfic I read the reader is already a pretty sleeper, waking up all pretty and shit. Do you know what I need? A Reader who wakes up like they've been pushed down the stairs. A Reader who spews gibberish for a second and then immediately goes back to sleep. A Reader who wakes up wrapped in their blankets sweating like crazy and completely disorientated and on the floor. Sorry if this ask is bad, but do you think you could write something like this for the mercs?

Mood as fuck, I'm in.

TF2 Mercs With a Messy Morning S/O xGN!Reader

Scout

Honestly thinks it's a bit cute, seeing you wake up in a pool of your own spit and hair in your mouth??? Yeah, that's what he's dying every day to protect.

Likes talking nonsense to early morning you just to see you struggle fr.

His favorite thing is waking up before you. He's all dressed and ready and you're 2 inches away from falling off the bed.

Jeremy writes down all the weird shit you say and reads it back to you when you're sad because what the fuck does "are Venus flytraps predators" mean

Pyro

Probably ends up tangled in your Limbs too. This bitch is a SLEEP CUDDLER.

Gets worried when you wake up in a panic, shout about something that sounds important, then fall back asleep like EXCUSE ME?? WHAT??

Doesn't like that you kick them in your sleep, but they can live with it.

Very worried about the night sweats and ramblings. You say some fucked up dhit when you're asleep!

Soldier

This mf is used to waking up at 6AM sharp and being battle ready by 6:05AM. This caused one of the initial rifts in your relationship with him until you convinced him that not waking you as well is early stealth training.

You remind him of a baby bird when you're curled up in all the blanket that you stole from him in the night.

Doesn't really notice that you are a messy sleeper until you two have breakfast together one morning, with you half awake, those bleary eyes and sleepy sighs made his heart skip a beat.

Heavy

He calls you his little spoiled cat when you glare at him all bleary-eyed for waking you up.

Loves cuddling you like a big bear, always the big spoon.

lowkey a messy sleeper too, but is more agitated when half awake than you

you two having delirious talks when you two aren't awake fully omg couple goals

Demoman

You look like a pretty sleeper next to this motherfucker

drunk mumbling, sleeptalker, sleepfighter WWE in your bed.

Wakes up after you so ususally doesn't see the absolute wreck you wake up as. If you two wake up at the same time he makes fun of you.

You two have probably ripped the blanket in y'alls sleepwars. Mrs. Pauling has checked in on you two at 2AM after hearing shouting, only to see both of you, fast asleep, on the floor, and total messes.

Engineer

Thinks it's cute bc he rises with the sun if not a tad earlier to watch the sunrise. Absolutely tells you to "rise n' shine".

records your half-awake mumbles and talks to you, listens back to them podcast style in his downtime.

Is absolutely terrified that you will rip off his prosthetic hand so dating you absolutely instilled the safe habit of taking his hand off before bed.

Sniper

Is usually out of bed before the "fun" begins, but had overheard your morning routine

Isn't a fan of the blanket stealing, but overall doesn't really care. If he's in a bad mood he'll sleep on the couch so you don't steal it.

"Am i pretty, Mick?" "About as pretty as an aye aye when you first wake up" "Da-DAMN!!"

Has a poloroid of you fast asleep in his hat

Spy

This bitch c o m p l a i n s.

He's the most prissy little bastard when it comes to sleeping. He sleeps EXCLUSIVELY on his left side, legs in a specific way, and hogs the blankets. When you come into his bed and sleep-kick him out, he is flabbergasted. absolutely bamboozled.

Doesn't cuddle you, but now there is a pillow barrier that protects his precious sleep routine.

Secretly thinks you are downright adorable with how god-awful you look, crusty eyes and all

Medic

Doesn't really mind, but gives you light teasing about it. If he's having a bad day then he gets annoyed by the blanket stealing.

Wakes up and gets ready for the day, only to see the doves nesting with you and that melts his hearttttt

Kisses your gross ass awake every single day despite that

Has stayed up multiple nights to study your sleep cycles.

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little-lisa-i · 1 year

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Okay, so, Bakugo...

There is this thing where like "the hero would sacrifice you to save the world and the villian would sacrifice the world for you" or whatever. But baku breaks the mold, he would destroy the world in a heart beat if it meant that you were happy and safe. I can just imagine it.

So imagine your captured by a villian, and your unconscious and slowly regaining consciousness right. And all you hear is.

"HEY FUCKER, EITHER YOU GIVE THEM BACK OR YOU ALL FUCKING DIE" followed by numerous explosions.

"Well then... your choice Dynamite, them or the city."

And without skipping a beat, I MEAN NO GOD DAMN HESITATION.

"Them" and the villian is bamboozled.

#mha #mha bakugou #mha x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x you #bnha bakugo katsuki #bnha headcannons #bnha x reader #katsuki bakugo mha

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paleprincessturtle · 9 months

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Snuff

Author’s Note: Hello ladies, greetings. It's my first time writing Harvey's fanfic. Soooooo, I’m a nervous wreck, not to mention that English isn’t my first language. But well, here goes nothing. Tell me what you think! Happy reading and thank you :)

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Female Character Word Count: 1768 Warnings: Few curse words, mention of pregnancy loss

The clacking of her heels echoed loudly through the buzzing hallway filled with muffled conversations. She nodded curtly at Donna who gave her a confused look. She swung the glass door to Harvey’s office with so much force that Donna was sure it might fly out of its hinges, the glass door closed as soon as it was opened. Donna raised her eyebrows in confusion and hoped that Harvey didn’t turn off the intercom the second she stepped in. Donna just shook her head and went back to the tasks at hand. —----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“How dare you?” She tried to sound as calm as she could, but Harvey could hear how pissed the woman in front of him felt from miles away. “A “Good morning, darling. I’m so sorry I left so early this morning. Work being hectic” should suffice,” Harvey said without even looking up from the document on his desk. “Don’t play smart with me. What the fuck is this?” She slid the blue folder to his desk. He calmly opened the folder, knowing damn well the content of it, but still, he pretended to flip over the documents in his hands. He couldn’t afford to look panic in front of her right now. “How fucking dare you, Harvey” This time, instead of talking in a calm poised but reeking with anger, her voice came out above a whisper. He finally looked up at her for the first time since she walked into his office. “Baby..” Harvey was about to reason with her when she raised her arm. “Don’t baby me. This whole damn city knows how much you hate it when people sniff around your case but you..” before she can even finish herself, Harvey stood up “I wasn’t sniffing around your case. It was a mere help. You are struggling, I’m helping. What’s the harm in that?” Harvey rounded his desk and stood in front of her, trying to get her to see his reasons. “Yes yes yes, I am struggling but I don’t need your help. You’re not even signed to this case with me. It’s my case. My first case since I got back. You just can’t help yourself making this about you, can’t you?” Harvey was taken aback by what she said. Her face was red and her voice wavered. Harvey cursed himself. “It’s not about me, it’s about helping you in this case. Can’t I help you?” Harvey took another step closer to her. “Again Harvey, the help I don’t fucking need! And don’t make it look like I don’t know how you get that evidence. We know damn well how you get that and I don’t want it near my case. I will ask you if I do need your help, won’t I?” This time, it’s her who took another step closer to Harvey. They stood nose-to-nose now. “You don’t know how hard I have been working my ass off to get where I am right now. Haven’t you heard, Harvey? What people called me? Spare Specter. And this, what you did around my case, seemingly just proved that I am indeed a Spare Specter.” She pointed her well-manicured finger to his chest. Harvey was about to open his mouth when she said “Don’t you dare sniff around my case or ask anyone in God’s green earth about my case or so help me God.” She turned around, leaving a very much bamboozled Harvey. It took Harvey a few seconds before he tried to chase her. 5 long strides later and he grabbed her forearm. He spun her only to see full anger in her eyes “Let go of me or I’ll scream bloody murder, Harvey. I have work to do.” With that, she yanked her hand and walked away with the same loud clacking of her red sole. Harvey watched with his brows drawn together, lips forming thin lines. “What the hell was that?” Donna stood up from her chair and tried to get Harvey’s attention. Harvey looked at Donna with the same expression and motioned her to follow him to his office. —----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“She knew that I planted new eye-opening evidence on her case,” Harvey said as he poured himself two fingers. “And she never asked for your help,” Donna said as she carefully watched Harvey. He gave her a small nod and Donna sighed. “No wonder she looked like she was about to burn this place down.” Donna chuckled to provoke any reaction from Harvey. He just looked at her with a pensive look. “Do you know that people have been calling her Spare Specter?” Donna looked surprised that Harvey knew about this. She made sure that it didn't reach her boss’ ears, unless… “Between our wedding and then we lost our baby and us moving house and this case.” Harvey ran his hands over his face and sighed. “When she was my associate, I made her work very hard. I made her stay the night here over complicated cases. I was ruthless with her but now she’s my wife. The fact that we just lost a baby, the doctor told her to take at least 2 months off, and Jessica backed up what the doctor recommended. But look where she is now, after only what? 3 weeks off?” Harvey sighed again and rubbed his temple. He looked at Donna “I can’t see her like this, Donna. This case is wearing her out.” Donna gave her a sympathetic look. “I get where you’re going, Harvey. But you are right about her being called Spare Specter. She made me swear not to let it reach your ears. And I’m sorry that I’ve been keeping this away from you. But if she needs your help, she’ll come to you. It wasn’t an easy road for her to be where she is right now and certainly not an easy road for her to keep where she is right now. This is her way of grieving your baby, Harvey. Your way is also the same as hers, drown yourself in work. Instead of meddling in her case, just ask her what she needs you to do.” Harvey nodded weakly and Donna’s words. “I’ll come to her now, I’ll bring her home and take the rest of the day off.” Donna sighed, she thought Harvey understands. “Let her work. Drop lunch at her office later today, and leave her the hell alone for the rest of the day. She’s pissed. If you say or do anything, she’ll be even more pissed.” Harvey nodded again and seemingly will take Donna’s advice. “I’ll order the oyster chowder and garlic bread she likes.” Harvey nodded again and thanked Donna before sending her out of his office. —----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here, steaming hot,” Donna said as she placed the food on Harvey’s desk. Like a man on a mission, Harvey tried to walk with confidence. He realized he hadn't even said sorry to her for what he did. He was so sure he was in the right that he didn’t prepare himself to apologize. He knocked on her office door, earning a glance from his wife. He invited himself in and walked cautiously inside. “I bought lunch for you since I know you won't go out for lunch.” Harvey placed the food on her coffee table, earning another glance. But all heard from the office was the sound of nails on the keyboard of her laptop. “I should’ve said sorry earlier, but I was too proud. So I’m sorry, I am. I didn’t mean to make you look weak or anything, honey. You’re a great lawyer, everyone thinks otherwise must be not right in their heads.” Harvey put his hands in his pants pocket in front of her desk, this time earning nothing from his wife. “Please eat your lunch. I don’t want you to get sick and how will you work if you’re sick, right? I love you and I’m sorry.” Harvey leaned his body to kiss his wife’s head and turned to leave her office. He closed the glass door behind him and stole another glance at his laser-focused wife. —---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Harvey closed his laptop and looked at his watch. His eyebrows raised in surprise. 10.15 already? He looked outside and it looked quite dark. Where in the world is his wife, he thought to himself. If she went home already, Ray must’ve informed him. So she must still be here. Harvey packed his things, turned all the lights in his office, and marched to his wife’s. The door was surprisingly opened. He cleared his throat and sat on the chair opposite her wife. “It’s late, baby. Let’s go home.” Harvey tried to sound as gentle as possible. “You go home yourself and send Ray back here for me. Or I’ll just call a cab.” She said absentmindedly and Harvey ran a tired finger through his not-so-perfect hair now at this hour. He stood up and she expected him to leave. But instead, Harvey rounded her desk and squatted next to her chair. He swiveled her chair so now they’re facing each other. Harvey took her wife’s hands on him. “Now look at me, gorgeous.” She sighed and gave up. “I’m sorry for what I did. I didn’t know what people were calling you, and those are false accusations. You are a great lawyer and Heaven knows how proud I am of the lawyer you become today. When you were under my tutelage, I tried my best to shape you. But now you’re my wife, we just lost our baby..” Harvey paused and kissed her hands oh-so-softly “I just don’t have a heart to see you struggle after witnessing you in pain for the loss of our baby.” Harvey swore he felt like he was about to cry, right there, and then when he saw the forlorn look on his wife’s face. “I swear, it won’t happen again. Unless you ask for my help then I won’t interfere. Nor will I send someone to interfere with your case without your command. I’m sorry, gorgeous. You are a great lawyer and I’m so proud of you. You’re making your name.” Harvey moved to stand on his knees now, holding his wife’s face gently in his hand before placing a warm kiss on her lips. “Am I forgiven?” Harvey asked as he stroked her cheek. “But can I get cinnamon rolls tomorrow?” Harvey felt like the weight of the universe had just been lifted off his chest when he saw his wife smile for the first time today. “I’ll buy you the whole damn bakery, gorgeous.”

MASTERLIST

#harvey specter #suits harvey specter #harvey specter imagines #harvey specter imagine #harvey specter x reader #harvey specter one shot #suits tv #harvey specter fanfiction #harvey specter fan fiction #harvey specter fanfic

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student-in-nightraven · 1 year

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Thighs are my high

Nikolai Gogol x gn reader

Summary: Nikolai has the juiciest thighs and you ask him to crush your head with them (tsk tsk how perverted are you i would too)

Genre: suggestive, crack, comfort in the end

When you first met Nikolai the first thing you noticed about him was his big, godly, juicy thighs. Your mouth was basically drooling at that point, ever tho months passed those thighs would trigger something in you every single time you saw them, Nikolai of course knew, and this bastard kept messing with you, whenever he heard your footsteps in a room he'd immediately rush to a nearby couch or chair and sit either manspreading or one leg over the other, and everytime you saw it you couldn't breathe, your eye would start twitching and you tried to avoid him, until one day you couldn't take it anymore, plus Fyodor gave you extra work and you were exhausted, so when you saw Nikolai sitting on the couch with his his god crafted thighs you lost it, walking up to him "Nikolai" he replied with an enthusiastic "hm?"

"*Sigh*......crush my head with your thighs" "shto?"(means "what?" In Ukrainian), my man was so bamboozled he questioned with his native language 💀

"crush my head with your thighs, please", Nikolai cackled like a maniac "Wow! I knew you liked my thighs but I didn't expect you to be so straightforward about it!" He had tears in his eyes from laughing, you glared up at him "so you knew?! *Gasp* is..IS THAT WHY EVERYTIME I WALKED IN YOU WERE CONVENIENTLY IN A SITTING POSITION THAT PORTRAYED YOUR GOD CRAFTED THIGHS PERFECTLY??" "*Cackle* God crafted? My my I wasn't ready for such flattery!"

He fanned his face with his hand laughing "oh you know damn well your thighs are gorgeous and you used that!" "Me? I was just being content with my body, you're the one who kept looking at my thighs like a wolf!" He dramatically brought a finger to his eyes wiping away a fake tear, you knew he was joking tho, in fact he enjoyed it,

You shook your head, too tired to snap back "look will you or will you not? It's a simple yes or no question" Nikolai brought a finger to his chin as if he was deep in thought "Hmm..I don't know, will you be able to handle my "godly" thighs? What if I crush you to death hm?" "It's the best way to go" his eyes went wide for a second but then he started giggling "okay okay, you may be crushed by my thighs! don't blame me for any damage tho~"

He leaned back on the couch, now laying horizontally, you crawled in between his legs and put your head between his inner thighs, the squishiest part✨

He giggled bringing his hand to pat your head, then pushing his upper body strength on his arms, keeping himself up in a sitting position, once he saw you were settled he slowly tightened his thighs around your head, every 5 seconds tighter and tighter, he wouldn't go as far as to suffocate you of course! After all you're one of the amusing and interesting people! It'd be a realm shame if something were to happen to you, tho he would lie if he said he didn't enjoy this as much as you, a hint of red flush was visible on his cheeks, after sometime he finally let loose, he could see your red dazed face and he laughed "Well? Did you nearly suffocate? Tho that dreamy look on your face tells me that you enjoyed my "god crafted thighs" he teased,smirking, you layed your head down on his thigh "yes I enjoyed it, it's a good way to let stress go" "hmm..Dos-kun overworked you didn't he?"

You nodded your head, he smiled and pet your hair "well dear, everytime he does that, you just tell me and me and my powerful thighs will cheer you up" he half joked, tho he said this in a joking way he really meant it "and maybe next time, you can squeeze my head with your thighs~"

You blushed but accepted the idea, now looking forward to when Fyodor would be a rat and overwork you, this man was flabbergasted when he saw you leaving his office happily after he gave you more work again, "What is wrong with them, did you put something in their drink?" He asked Nikolai, he shook his head in response "Nope! Let's just say that my thighs are their new religion" he smiled and Fyodor just had the biggest scowl on his face "I did not need to know that."

#x reader #bsd x reader #bsd fluff #bsd nikolai x reader #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd nikolai #nikolais thighs #bsd crack #suggestive

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freyrmichokolatte · 1 year

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Timmy forgor arc because I'm a fucked up little shit and I want my fave to suffer because that's how I am smh

Timmy canonically puts notes on everything that's important to him because he might throw everything related to Cosmo and Wanda so it shouldn't be any different that he'll put notes on everything related to the rest of the Nicktoons

But what if he also writes everything that happened in a diary and kept it hidden in a box filled with things related to his Godfamily and the Nicktoons?

Timmy already turned 18 and the next day after his birthday, the first thing he saw when he woke up is an empty fish tank still filled with water. Timmy got super confused because why is there a fish tank here? Why does it have water when there's literally no fish inside? Then he saw the sticky note and went oh ok I guest I shouldn't throw it out then.

Throughout the day, he keeps seeing sticky notes with his hand writing on it saying "Don't throw it out me! -Timmy Turner". Timmy doesn't know the purpose of all the things because he only does this when it's actually important so he doesn't understand why there's a sticky note with the same message pinned on his old hat.

When he, Chester, and AJ hangout, they'd sometimes ask him about the things he forgotten and Timmy is just confused. His reaction are just "What?" "Since when did that happen?" "Talking to objects? Did you hit your head or something cause wtf" Chester and AJ had to suffer but didn't dive too deep into it.

That until Chester mentioned Jimmy

Timmy isn't the type to forget people that he's close and actually liked him. So when Timmy said he doesn't know who Jimmy is it caused a havoc. Chester made cards filled with things related to their childhood while AJ interogated the poor brunet's head off just to get answers so he could somehow cure his bestfriend's amnesia.

This went for Gods' know how long it just keeps going.

But hey the Nicktoons fianlly visited hoorayyyy

They didn't encounter Timmy first though, they encountered Chester and AJ. They both felt like their dreaming but soon dragged them into their shared appartment with Timmy because wtf their bestfriend's bestfriends who doesn't even know they're his bestfriends from different universes are here and oh are they glad.

Before the Nicktoons could even say something, AJ and Chester already bombered them with concerns relating to Timmy while the three are all just there sitting on a small couch and saying literally the same things as if they were one person.

Where's Timmy? What happened to his Fairy programs? What do you mean he has amnesia? He doesn't remember us? What the fuck does this mean? Is this related to the Fairy World's rules?

They were all distraught. Spongebob who's no longer in disguise is sobbing. Danny is in denial. He sees him as his kid brother and said kid brother sees him as his big brother there's no way he could've forgotten him right? He denise it, there's no way.

And Jimmy is fucking depressed. After a long time of trying to find a way to go to Timmy's universe, the first thing that was said to him was that Timmy forgot about them.

Jimmy was mad. He wasn't mad at Timmy for getting his memories erased, he was mad that he didn't do anything to prevent it. He was mad at himself. But he knew damn well that there's no way of stopping Da Rules and the rest of the Laws of the Fairy World.

Meanwhile with Timmy, he sneezed as he's currently going back to his old house to get the rest of his old stuff. Then he went to the attic and saw some weird big old box with his name written on it. The box was filled with notebooks, diaries and pictures.

Timmy was utterly bamboozled

He skimmed through some of the pages. Fairies? Ghost brother figure? A talking sponge? And he's hooked? Timmy doesn't even know anymore. Then he took the photos inside the box.

What the fuck.

Why is there a sponge? It's alive? Why is there a floating guy behind him? Who's he brunet with a weird hair style?

And why do these strangers feel so familiar?

The more he dives deep into it, the more his head hurts. Timmy decided to brush it off temporarily and took the box with him. He'll get his stuff next time.

ANYWAY the rest is up to you guys on how you want it to end I'm out of energy to write the rest ksksakjssfhasksf

#so I had another thought :)))))#mich talks/speaks #nicktoons unite #fop #fairly oddparents #danny phantom #spongebob squarepants #jimmy neutron #timmy turner #danny fenton #chester mcbadbat #anthony james jr.#mich fics

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your-local-hoemie · 1 year

Note

hi! i love your writing! if you’re taking requests could i maybe get tartaglia (and alhaitham and itto if you write for them too) with a really affectionate s/o? thank you!!!

Aaaaaa thank you!!! I’ve already done one super similar involving childe but lemme whip something up for ya ;)

Oh boy Itto is gonna be fun I just fucking know it he’s so chaotic~

Warnings: flufffff, lots of toothache inducing sweetness, gn! Reader, swearing, not proof-read.

Character: Al’haitham, Itto, childe.

Al’haitham~

This man is the human representation of a stick, I love him.

He’s serious boy™️

How he ended up with someone like you no one fucking knows

At first he found your constant shower of affection a little annoying especially when he was in the middle of work

Once he realised his moodiness wouldn’t dissuade you from showing his boobs him all your love and attention he inevitably gave up

He didn’t realise it at first but he actually grew to want your affection as well

Like he’d just be reading his god awful books or doing paperwork (idk what scribes do tbh) and her suddenly be like

“Huh I feel like something you is missing and it feels odd” he misses it

People have pointed out that he seems a lot more relaxed and less like a god damn plank when he comes into work

Truth is it’s just because you spent the entire morning showering him with cuddles and kisses :)

He’s so used to it at this point he’s even grown to holding your hand or giving you cute cheek kisses in public!!

Truly a miracle!

When he had a bad day he used to dread coming home and having to deal with other people kaveh but now he finds that you’re the first thing he runs to if things haven’t been going right!

He finds your head pats and sweet reassuring kisses to be the best cure for his frustrations!

People still will never figure out how he managed to woo such a affectionate and sweet person but neither of you care!

Man deserves to know what affection is.

Itto~

A puppy incarnate

Pat his head or give him a kiss on his cheek and man’s gone

It does boost his ego though so be warned!

I don’t imagine he’s ever had much physical affection before!

Being a oni people are usually against that

Assholes!

So when you first started officially dating and you randomly hugged him or smothered his goofy face in kisses he was flabbergasted

Absolutely bamboozled

The second you showed him affection you basically signed a life time contract with his heart

Refuses to let anyone touch your “designated holding hand”

That’s reserved for you and you only!

You know that meme where someone drew a heart on a guys hand and he refuses to wash it in the shower?

Yeah. He’s that guy.

He tried to use it to his advantage once since you seemed to give him kisses whenever he was being particularly dumb just to make him forget whatever shenanigans he was up to

So I’m return, he started being dumb(er) on purpose!

Lots of kisses!!

Of course you knew what he was doing but how could you refuse his goofy grin and those puppy eyes!

Has been winning a lot more beetle battles since he discovered you’ll give him hugs and kisses when he won~

Kuki is honestly so fucking relieved that someone else can deal with him besides her

My girls been through it with him

There’s never a time when he won’t want your affection!!

Bad day? Head pats, hugs and kisses!

Good day? Head pats, hugs and kisses

He’s super proud of it too!

Like pda is an absolute necessity for him!

He just has to show off that his hand is the one your holding!

If you wear makeup up and leave a lipstick mark on his cheek he will not remove it!

Over his dead body!

Had to clean it off while he was asleep

Childe~

*slaps childe* this bad boy can hold so much affection

At first he was definitely taken back!

He’s a harbinger and a battle maniac

The last thing he’d think someone would do to his is to grab his hand or arm while happily kissing his face (if you can reach this tower of a man’s face)

Honestly anyone taller than thoma scares me

So he definitely froze!

Blushy booyyyy

Tried to play it off by teasing you back but it didn’t really work considering he was a flustered mess to begin with

It just resulted in you rolling your eyes and kissing him again

Which also resulted in his brain shutting down

He will get jealous if anyone else steals your affection away from him

Even if it’s a kid that just gave you a hug!

Evil! His person!!

Is very similar to Itto in the fact that he’d be hard pushed to wash anyway any kind of affection you give him!

Pda is a yes too! Not as much as Itto because he still had to stay in guard and he doesn’t wanna draw attention to you too much ;-;

Gets super cocky too

Whenever he wins a particularly difficult fight he demands rewards!

Which of course the rewards being your smooches!

This man has never once even thought about asking you to stop

He’s busy? That’s ok, you can just sit on his lap and hug him while he works

Man’s sleeping and he just look so adorable that you have to kiss his nose or forehead?

You’ll send him into the sweetest dreams he’s ever had!

It really makes me feel so happy know ya’ll like my work aaaaa!!

Requests are still slow to finish as I’m still feeling bleh but I appreciate everyone’s patience! I will get them done I promise~

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thatanimewriter · 1 year

Photo

BǍO BÈI, MON AMOUR AND... BABE, I GUESS??

➳ request: Can I request Finny, Baldroy, Joker, Snake, and maybe Dagger with a multilingual fem s/o? I speak English, Spanish, and French irl. Bonus points if you incorporate pet names in either of those. I’m thinking along the lines of some nice headcanons.

➳ character/s: finny, bardroy, joker, snake, dagger

➳ warnings: swearing, perhaps butched pet names from other languages, generally butched arabic (baldroy), french (joker), spanish (finny), norwegian (snake) and german (dagger) because i don’t speak anything but english

➳ notes: woww that’s really cool that you know how to speak other languages, i’ve always wanted to be fluent in something other than english and i used to learn mandarin, but i hated the teacher at school and dropped the subject asap lmao

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐘.

infatuated

he thinks it’s super cool

and hot

now he gets creative for pet names for you

he goes beyond the classic babe, baby, sweetheart, doll etc

now you gotta suffer with sweet cheeks, toots, sugarplum and all that cheesy gross shit

but he gets which language mixed up all the time

he probably messes up the pronunciation as well

it’s ok, he’s attempting

he often notices that you’ll speak arabic when you’re tired or frustrated

“habibi... come to bed.”

but also when you’re thinking of a word and it only makes sense in the languages you know

it’s fine, he thinks it’s cool

and funny because accents between languages also change

all in all, very impressed

── 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘.

literally gets the anime sparkles in his eyes

as if you could get any better??

constantly asks you to speak your other languages

asks you for the names of basic household items in that language

“what’s bed in spanish??”

“la cama.”

“oh my god that’s so cool-”

but then you bamboozled him with another language

and he then discovered you’re multilingual

because he caught you speaking cantonese to lau

and he thinks you spoke, like, gaelic one time

he’s not sure what the languages are but it’s COOL

he definitely butches some of the words

most of the words

but it’s the thought and effort that counts

── 𝐉𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑.

what a little charmer

he would tease you for keeping this from him

and would also want to learn

he probably has caught you just mumbling to yourself in french

wants to learn french because stereotypical romance

but also to eavesdrop-

sometimes he’ll just stick his head through your tent ‘door’ and go

“tu veux venir te promener avec moi?”

and you’re left wondering how he knows to ask you for a walk of all things

you both use ma chérie and mon chéri

it’s the most basic one

but it does the job

as a joke he suggested you speak your other languages as an act for the circus

you said no because it’s not really that circus-worthy

but maybe in future it’d be a funny gag

── 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐄.

silent admiration

emily and keats are more vocal about it

if he has snakes from the countries which language you speak they now cling to you, they’re yours now

they don’t leave you

he will probably learn easy words when he wants something but doesn’t wanna say in front of EVERYONE

“klemmer?”

“awww, yes hugs.”

the whole circus cannot interpret norwegian at all

nor can they understand korean or swedish

but they all think it’s a fun gimmick

because you’re extremely multilingual

his face was like :000

when you asked a foreign guest who didn’t speak english

‘what language would you like me to speak?’

because damn

what a badass that you can just whip out a language and speak it fluently

── 𝐃𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑.

in love even more

if that’s possible

you’re just so cool ;v;

he won’t lie

it sounds like gibberish at the start before you teach him

the only thing he can possibly interpret is your tone

even then

he’s fucked if you speak a language that naturally sounds aggressive

because he’s gonna think you’re PISSED when you’re asking if he wants potatoes or not

“liebling, give me cuddless”

“LEE BLING??”

he can’t for the life of him try to imitate you without sounding offensive

so he doesn’t

he just admires you from afar

and from close by

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blackstarchanx3new · 9 months

Text

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 3

Pages 61-90

Back at it again with Mike and his silly little adventures in Freddy's.

Huh.

What'd you see.

Stop being vague.

Who are these creepy masked people???

The bullies from FNAF four

Damn if only there was an entire side comic FNAF 4 cough cough I made about them that will explain that lol. We'll get to the side comics I promise. ;)

Whatever he saw, he's terrified to re-live.

Ouch.

Someone got hurt-

What the hell are you apologizing for exactly?

What'd you do?

None of those people in the masks were you...

We can tell cause they actually had a skin tone lmfao.

Oh that could use some cream.

So that's why "the bite" kept making Mike uncomfortable...

This kid got his head munched on.

And it wasn't ACTION but LACK of action he's cowering in fear from a child over.

Side note this panel out of context is hilarious and I won't pretend it's not.

Hi Bonnie! :D

He is the best.

Damn okay.

What's reality?

Ominous poster of the yellow Freddy for sure isn't important.

Haha Mike ya have episodes like this often? Often enough he composes himself afterwards.

He's utterly bamboozled Bonnie apparently SAW the kid he was chasing so...maybe.

That smirk is unsettling.

So this part of the building used to be "Fredbear's" the place Michael's favorite animatronic "Spring Bonnie" is from and mentioned earlier. Fredbear is clearly the one who bit the child.

I'd be scared too Bonnie thousand yard stares are concerning.

That's hysterical coming from the clearly possessed giant rabbit but go off I guess-

He's obviously trying to make Mike feel better which is nice of him. UwU

Aww. Hug how sweet.

So now we know a bit more about Mike. Let's review:

This nameless kid Mike saw die was obviously Michael's brother Cody Afton from all the context clues we've been given:

Mike's reaction to Micheal bringing up Fredbears, due to it being a traumatic event.

Cody being "Bit"

Mike doesn't seem TOO sure they're the same person but we know it is.

Mike blames himself for not doing anything at the time to stop Cody's head from getting crunched.

Mike's grasp on reality is...Flimsy. Self admittedly he thinks it's flimsy and he knows when he needs to go home when it's too much.

Mike is desperate for comfort over his trauma with Freddy's and Bonnie's a cool dude who'll give it.

You'd think Bonnie would be a bully from his intro but he's actually a super caring guy, he just can't stand people who purposely cause problems.

Bro comes in clutch with the hugs.

You can see why Freddy would run to this guy to solve issues haha.

So from those first panels we know 1 thing:

He had no clue Ennard was in the room with them. So add stalking to the list of creepy things that clown robot has done so far.

My god it's an old man-

He's Micheal's dad! :D William Afton!

Alright I'm gonna stop being goofy and vague for a moment:

It's obvious he's evil as fuck and for the people who like to bitch he has a personality in this comic or ANY media where people give William a personality: Stop making excuses as to why you write him one note you cowards, you can give him a personality without condoning what he does lmfao. Only a bad writer would say you HAVE to make him one note for him to work. Fucking morons actually you are stupid if you believe that.

If you wanna make him cartoonishly evil with NO redeeming qualities: Cool. Whatever. Just shut the fuck up don't act like yours is "Better" because you can't think of ways to make him anymore interesting.

Everyone's William caters to their tastes. Nobody's is PERFECT. I only judge stupid vapid bitches who complain about other interpretations while blowing smoke up their own asses. Because an ego isn't pretty on anyone lmfao.

The idea giving William a personality makes you a terrible writer/person needs to die I'm sorry that's such a stupid as fuck idea idk who came up with it but kindly stop writing and stop giving writing advice. UwU With love~ From me!~

Anyways I've spoiled William is a bad person who does a bad thing, Won't say what yet but all the death in the building can give ya some ideas. And apparently because William is bad guy there's "Rules" on how to write him. From a bunch of 12 year olds who dunno how to write but I digress.

I detest the idea of that. Because let's be real all FNAF characters are blank slates and the idea of squashing creativity is dumb. Literally go wild with your FNAF AUs.

Rant aside: William seems to be a bit of...An ass.

Just slightly manipulative and rude language towards his only living child it's fine-

Ah yes. He also demands physical affection.

We get Michael's age, he's 23 aka still a damn baby.

Also, William and Michael are British.

Since we're on voices:

Mike Schmidt would sound like Legoshi from Beastars lmfao. I imagine Bonnie with a new York accent. Freddy sounds like a lady.

We finally get to see what Ennard and Michael interact like together...

Michael doesn't seem to put up with him.

Ennard's kind of a prick.

Also apparently they have a HISTORY.

One that involves Michael talking shit about his father...

For people who know shit about the games: Yes Ennard is possessed by the same person from the games.

Hah Michael tricked him.

Okay so everyone in Michael's life is manipulative towards him.

Neat.

Also Ennard is a raging hypocrite.

Also conformation William is an owner not just a robot maker. (Can't remember if this was brought up earlier again some of these pages are 2 years old lmfao)

Also this comic assumes you got SOME Fnaf knowledge. I'd hope it's still interesting for those of you who are here for my other stuff! XD

Like ouch Ennard ya don't gotta be such a jerk.

Also Mike is cute.

This panel unironically is one of my favorites because this man doesn't scream in terror at any of the terrifying robots:

It's the gay guy he's trying to befriend he screams like a little girl at.

Another help wanted joke about the Faz token under the cupcake in the office.

Michael just wants to hang out with Mike obviously.

Despite all the shit he's clearly going through dude puts on a very pointy smile.

This man is built like a cat.

Lol they made pizza together. How cute.

Hah bro is apologizing for something he didn't even do nor has control over-

Is it obvious Michael is abused yet?

Going real unsubtle here: Everything about Michael shows off he has been abused in some way shape or form.

Michael wants to think he's being friendly for reals despite clearly having second thoughts due to Ennard.

Bro is desperate for a connection with someone.

Also

Pff.

Mike c'mon Bonnie's so sweet how could you- X'D

Few things: William doesn't "Let" Michael do things.

If it wasn't apparent he was controlling as hell before it sure is now.

Also Michael is embarrassed of his interests.

Also the locker:

Again we see an instance of Michael going by "Mike" as his locker literally just has a piece of paper tapped over it adding the rest of his name lmao.

Michael is used to being toyed around with that is sad.

Bonnie continues to be a sweetheart even when he's off screen. X'D

Mike attempts to relate to Michael's interests once again.

Also another instance of Bonnie lying his ass off about how close Michael and him are:

He knows Michael's locker combination and puts gifts in there lmao.

Mike clearly likes that plush a lot. Maybe he likes Chica a lot lmao. Who knows.

One thing to note:

If Michael's working day shifts and night shifts...when does he sleep?

Grant it, it isn't ALL THE TIME but still bro's sleep schedule must be OBLITERATED.

Oh hi giant floating head in the hallway you're stalking Michael too huh?

This is just two sides of someone's brain arguing with itself that the entire positive interaction they just had was terrible AND the other party hates them.

And that comparison only makes more sense down the road.

Yeah Michael you tell him. You don't need to take that from him.

Jeremy's a cool dude.

Also the fact the kids pay no mind to this argument is funny.

Also Ennard taking genuine offense to Jeremy being a better friend lmao. Anyone can be a better friend than Ennard. X'D

We hit the image limit but oh boy. So much joy in this update.

#Creations AU #fnaf creations au #fnaf au #fnaf comic #fnaf fanart #fnaf art #fnaf 1 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #mike schmidt #bonnie #freddy fazbear #fnaf 4 #fnaf 4 bullies #fnaf 4 cc #michael afton #micheal afton #fnaf 4 art #five nights at freddys

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izzyspussy · 8 months

Text

frankly, i find the whole "abusers are so smart and methodical and calculated and they never leave visible marks and they're always charming and likeable" shit WAAAYYYY more "glamorizing" than even the most half-assed "what if one partner was being abused by someone else and their love interest saved them and it was so romantic" fictional story

my abusers were not methodical and they did leave visible marks and they weren't well-liked among their peers. and you know what else? i didn't cover up for them either! i didn't wear makeup or long sleeves, i didn't lie if people asked (if only because no one ever fucking asked), in fact i volunteered the information!

abusers are not some magical other class of person that are a) all the same and b) have a mystical power to bamboozle the innocent do-gooders all around them. i didn't get help because people didn't help me. full stop. and that's not fucking unusual.

child abuse especially is so fucking normalized, it's a bigger "scene" to react to someone hitting their child in public than it is to do it. source: i've been the child and i've been the person reacting. according to bystanders in those circumstances either i deserved it or it was none of their business when i was the kid, and when i was the one stepping in i was being rude, and when i was not stepping in because i was too busy having a panic attack about it by myself in a corner instead i was overreacting.

like. sorry to still be cheesed off about some random dumbass's comment on my fucking hurt/comfort fandom post or whatever the fuck but are you kidding? are we all fucking kidding right now??

sure, some abusers are doing it on purpose and premeditating it and they're smart about it and don't leave evidence and know how to lie about it and are charming and likeable. their abuse is a skill. but some people's abuse is a lack of skill!! some people's abuse is removed from the concept of skill or not because they don't fucking think about it at all!

i went to school with visible marks. i went to school with clear handprints on me. i got hit in public. i got screamed at and had things thrown at me in public. i got left alone in public places as punishment for something i'd done while there. sometimes my abuser would brag to my other authority figures that they were going to abuse or neglect me later.

i told my friends. i told my teachers, my coaches, my camp counselors, even a therapist. the only fucking people i didn't tell were people in the same positions of authority as the ones held by my abusers. and not a single god damn thing happened about it ever. EVER.

so actually, no, i don't think it's "glamorizing" or "romanticizing" abuse at all to fantasize sometimes about somebody being believed by their crush or hero or whatever and then maybe they kiss about it (and actually the post of mine that got the response that inspired this post didn't say FUCK ALL about any romance or kissing, it didn't even fucking say they were FRIENDS for fuck's sake LMAO).

but i do kind of think it is a bit "glamorizing" to say that's so unrealistic it shouldn't even be indulged in in make-believe because abusers are just too good at abusing people to get caught! go fuck yourself!! LOL!!!

#jack facts #abuse #reading process #soc

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apollodarling-writes · 1 year

Note

Imagining Levi being the little fucking creep he is walking through the halls when he hears us. We’re sitting with our friends talking.

Friend: “So y/n what’s your type? Physically I mean.”

Us: “Well you know… pale skin, deep blue eyes that are like daggers, dark hair, nice lips, some freckles maybe or beauty marks, good hands-“

Us basically describing Levi so our friend picks up on that is like.

Friend: “So captain Levi?”

And me absolutely SIDE EYE HER ASS

Us: “Why would you even say that….No”

Friend: “You just described captain Levi…”

And we’re just bamboozled because we really did but we don’t like him so levi is obviously in the back like holy shit I’m their type. Then we say some shot like:

Us: “The Captain is 5’3 I’m gonna need 6’3.”

tws: just levi being a creep bc he's yandere, obsessive tendencies, stalking, slight angst???

Levi truly prided himself on his stealth skill. You'd yet to become aware of his near-constant gaze, his calculating storm-grey eyes locked on you- appreciating you while he ensured you were safe and that no one was threatening the relationship he was working so hard to build. You'd also yet to notice your smaller possessions slowly dwindling- he had to keep that shrine of yours updated somehow!

And that's why he was listening in on your current conversation.

"-hat's your type, [Name]?"

You hum in response, glancing at your friend for but a moment before returning your gaze to the sky. "Well, that's pretty easy."

"I like a man with pretty, pale skin and cold eyes- like the ones you feel touch the depths of your soul!" You wiggle your fingers at them, creating the tell-tale spooky gesture before chuckling at yourself. "Bonus points if he has some delicious-lookin' lips and freckles- or maybe beauty marks! Those are so cute!"

You pause for a moment as a breeze passes by, enjoying the crisp air and the scent of autumn leaves. Levi watches as you, hope kindling inside of him.

"Oh! I also really like when they're mean to other people but really sweet to me. Oh, oh! And nice hands." You smile cheekily, tilting your head the way Levi loves. God you were made for him.

"Strong too- I want him to protect me. He's husband material if he-"

"So... Captain Levi."

Levi doesn't like the way your smile drops. You don't like him? Even after he's putting so much effort to protect you and the future you two will share? What more does he need to do? Should he start leaving more love letters? Kill more people for you? What more do you want? He'll do it!

"Absolutely not." You grimace, shuddering at the thought.

"But... you just described Captain Levi. Besides, if you don't go for your man now, Petra will steal him from you!" Your friend nudges your side, smirking.

Levi likes this friend! He'll ignore the fact that they suggested that god awful woman, if you could call her that with the way she all but throws herself at him, would steal him from you. He'll ignore it for now at least.

Wasn't it apparent that the two of you were meant to be? That you were all he's ever wanted and will need, just as he'll be all you'll ever want and nee-

"Good. Let her take him." You glare at the grass in front of you. "I don't want him."

Levi feels his heart shatter. Your friend pouts, saying something about how cute the two of you would look together.

You click your tongue, "I'll need a man that's tall. Like six foot at least."

Why would you need him to be taller? He can love you just fine as is!

"That damn creep is getting on my nerves anyway. He won't take the damn hint..."

#yandere boy #male yandere #tw yandere #tw: yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere levi ackerman #yandere levi x reader #yandere levi #aot levi #levi aot #snk levi #levi attack on titan #levi

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brobiwan-kenobi-412 · 2 days

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Yeah I saw your ask on that persons blog, and like, I’ve been following them for 2-3 years and this is the first time I’ve seen them post something that blatantly homophobic, I feel bamboozled, like bruh.

i am in genuine fucking shock at the shit they’ve been fucking saying, it is god damn insane, have you seen the most recent one?? because jesus christ is cannot do it anymore good god

#j text #jes ask

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