#the ending baybeeee
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Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4
“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season
“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)
“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent
I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff
I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:
“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments
“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO
[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”
“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️
I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky
LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”
Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon
Tahani did call this one!!
“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN
The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it
“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO
Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god
However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen
“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times
I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures
“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗
Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves
Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?
Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)
“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS
“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!
Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years
Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️
“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!
“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!
Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:
“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job
That might be high-grade dread though LMAO
Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!
Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:
“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John
“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears
However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️
HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP
“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:
“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘
“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:
Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!
In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth
JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES
“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him
Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people
“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license
“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI
“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart
You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends
The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break
“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!
“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.” Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT
“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known
Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them
“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!
POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON
“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust
Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!
“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW
I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine
“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments
[Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA
“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao
SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes
“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”
Me 🤝 John
Loving stories with gentle magic in them
“What echoes of this former self await me here?”
Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me
Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school
HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables
Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face
Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation
“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded
TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky
He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit
“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha
Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship
Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:
(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)
“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗
“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖
“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever
JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:
Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep
Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:
Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)
Janet: 7
Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)
Jason: 3
Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)
“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani
“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi
“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟
I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO
Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness
“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors
Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL
“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points
Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight
“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘��💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘
Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM
GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends
“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor
“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours
Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it
“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL
You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:
Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN
Brent 🤝 Jason
Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors
“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John
WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH
“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY
Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)
It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second
NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:
“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO
“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life
“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL
NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES
Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO
Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA
Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh
The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still
“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks
“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason
“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments
Jason 🤝 Janet
Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly
So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:
Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️🩹
“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL
“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW
“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞
“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!
HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE
BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH
“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!
I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO
“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII
Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma
Chidi 🤝 Me
Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married
Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand
Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)
Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE
“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi
The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗
“Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet
“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY
“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII
HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS
I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!
Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid
Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me
“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math
But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to
“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao
"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)
Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices
The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT
THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE
“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees
“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!
“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)
"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)
LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:
(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)
SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny
HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but:
Me 🤝 Eleanor
Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual
“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold
“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator
“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA
Me 🤝 Janet
Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa
Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)
OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!!
It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake
“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!
Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about
God I love these five people and not-people so much:
What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon?
“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN?
Also
Me 🤝 Michael
Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed
STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:
Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks
MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL
“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO
“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO
THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO
“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS
“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve
Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????
I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help
“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:
I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others
“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness
Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)
“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia
[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII
OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️
“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY
“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY
Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you
Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era
“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!
“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭
A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:
“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW
“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS
I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era
Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:
Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️
“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!!
“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE
“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up
I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy.
Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office
“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite
“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since
Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔
CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:
SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA
“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA
ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND
Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place
Update from 1 minute later: It was not
Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line
Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon
“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️🩹
“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha
Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)
MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM
Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:
“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN
I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any!
Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories!
#ayesha says things#liveblogging#ayesha liveblogs tgp#the good place#television#long post#the good place spoilers#the ending baybeeee#the good place will probably feature on this blog from this point on fyi!
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The hot new thing is googling old art memes and using whatever image search gives you
#my art#original character#luci my baybeeee#lots to say lets go#this was fun it took so very long also much longer than i thought it would#did the sketch for irritated in about 5 seconds cause thats just what his face does all the time#serious and drunk were both pulled from irritated and modified slightly#theres so many i like here but rage and tired are absolutely faves#have wanted to draw him yelling like that for so long and tired just fell together so nicely#i might update his markings eventually but for now this is fine#hes so.. Not Emotive that big expressions end up really big#anyways it was fun and look! i drew something! and now i have to knit again!#one more cowl and then i stg im done knitting for the year
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It’s called Funger because you make new friends and you all eat lovely snacks together.
#fear and hunger#funger#fear & hunger#f&h#FUNGER BAYBEEEE#after i get all the endings for the first game i shall buy the second#sometimes you literally make new friends
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;]
#davesport#jack x davey#jackxdave#jack kennedy#dayshift at freddy's#Gnarly ending#Vegas BAYBEEEE#WOOOOO
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happy calyx edits her bio day to all those who celebrate
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Pretty boy
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4 & 15
4. Have you ever slapped anybody?
I've definitely slapped some asses, but I don't think I've ever slapped anybody in the face
15. Describe your occupation in 3 words:
english teacher student
[ask game]
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save me love shack gcv animatic in my head 😭😭😭
#plot is that the glee club go to the sugar shack#but they’re all silly delinquents so it’s actually some random abandoned building with broken pipes but they decorate it and stuff#‘folks lining up outside just to get down’ and it’s a bunch of small glee characters or something outside lining up to join the party#and then at the climax of the song a pipe bursts or something and it’s very ending of mamma mia core#they’re all wet now but they don’t care!!! love shack baybeeee!!!!#and then they get arrested in the end or something for trespassing#ITS GREAT I SWEAR (all in my head)#maybe i’ll animate a bit for valentine’s day :’’’)#porcelainposting
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i finally played mwdh…predictably i ended up rlly liking sophie. And zacharie
#sketchtext!!#i am a sucker for childhood best friends….friends from the start 2 the end#and i luvvv zacharie 4 their representation AND. they are yellowww. And they are energetic.#NONBINARY WIN BAYBEEEE
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4.20 4:20
YYYEEEEAAAHAAHHHHHHHH
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A Vampire Romcom
Pairing: Juliette Fairmont x AFAB!reader
Warnings(s): Pining, Smutty smut smut, lowkey a bit of angst and fluff at the end, *kinda* slow burn, Vampire stuff (blood sucking, blood lust, etc.), some y/n use, ONE POV change to Juliette, Juliette being a big fat Lesbian and attempting to flirt :)
Summary: You're a transfer student at Lancaster academy and you bump into a cute girl, what are the odds she's also a cute Vampire?
(Edit) DISCLAIMER: An anon has brought up that In the show, Juliette is canonically 16, and the fact that it says "Minors DNI". I know that she is 16 In the show, but in this fan fiction Juliette and the reader are in their senior year which would make them both 18 (or 19 in some circumstances). Also, ofc I'm not gonna go hunting after you for interacting with my post if you are a minor, but I have to put the disclaimer.
Word count: 4.2k
I'm back baybeeee!!! My summer was so busy and fun I didn't really have motivation to write but now it's back to uni and we are ignoring being homesick and all of our stress and problems by writing😎 Also, I know, I know about the requests, I'm working on them right after I finish that captain Marvel smut I was talking about (it's almost done dw) My brain won't let me work on requests until I finish my own ideas cuz it's weird like that lmao. Anyways I hope at least some of you enjoy this one and the next while you wait for your fics. I am terribly sorry about making you wait <3
~~~~18+ minors DNI~~~~
You walked into Lancaster Academy and looked around.
It wasn't too bad compared to the other schools you've been to. It was actually quite nice if you were being honest, it felt more like a college campus than a high school.
You followed signs that pointed you to the main office. Classes had already started a month ago, but since you had just moved to Savannah, here you were, joining one month late, much to your perturbation.
You tried to convince your parents to let you skip the year and join the next one but, of course, they had absolutely shut that idea down.
Well, it was worth a shot.
You walked into the office and were greeted by the classic: an old lady with curly hair and glasses sitting at the desk.
"Hello, dear, how can I help you?" She smiled kindly at you.
"Hi, uh, I'm supposed to talk to Principal Waters? My name is y/n l/n, I just transferred here."
"Oh, yes! Miss l/n, you can go in, he's in there." She directed you.
You said "Thank you", giving her a small smile before walking into the principal's office.
When you walked in, he looked up and recognition filled his face.
"Ah, y/n, welcome! Please, sit." He gestured to one of the seats in front of his desk.
"Thanks." You said as you sat down, Principal Waters mirroring your action.
"So, today is your first day of classes. Here is your schedule, some information about clubs and whatnot, and lastly your gym uniform, which your parents already paid for." He handed you the things as he listed them off to you.
You organized them in your hands and nodded.
"Would you like me to give you a tour of the school and show you where your classes are?" He asked you.
Your eyes widened at his question.
"Oh, no no! That won't be necessary, I can find my way around." You quickly responded, shaking your free hand in the air in front of you in a waving motion.
He chuckled at your quick response.
"Alright, I get it. Well, your first class will start soon, so you should get a move on. Welcome to Lancaster Academy, y/n." Principal Waters smiled as you both stood up.
"Thanks." You shot him a crooked smile before leaving his office and subsequently the main office.
However as you were leaving the main office, you bumped into someone, dropping all of the papers and your gym uniform Principal Waters had given you.
"Oh, shit! I'm so sorry!" A voice said as both of you dropped down to pick up your stuff.
"No, it's okay, I wasn't looking where I was..." Your voice trailed off as you grabbed your things and looked up, meeting eyes with the girl you had bumped into.
"...going." You finished.
Holy shit she was cute.
She gave you a small smile as she handed you your gym uniform and schedule.
The two of you stood up and you awkwardly adjusted your backpack strap.
"U-um, are you new here? I've never seen you around." The other girl asked you sheepishly.
"Uh yeah, actually, I just transferred in today, I moved here recently." You responded, taking in her gorgeous blue eyes.
"Oh, cool, cool...Can I see your schedule? I mean, if you don't mind." She added quickly.
You smiled at her, oh she was absolutely adorable.
"Sure, here you go." You handed her your schedule.
She scanned over it before looking back at you.
"Oh, you're actually in my English class! I was just heading over, I mean, if you want to come with." She added nervously.
You smiled brightly at her.
"Oh, of course, it's not like I know the building anyway." You chuckled.
"Well, I could show you where all your classes are... I mean if you wanted me to, obviously!" She quickly added again, her eyes widening.
"Yeah, sure, that wouldn't be too bad, thanks." You smiled.
This was way better than Principal Waters showing you around.
She returned the action, melting your heart with her own smile.
"Alright, shall we head over?" You asked.
"Oh! Yeah, let's go." She said, starting to walk towards the classroom.
As you walked alongside her, you looked over to see her fiddling with her fingers and looking anywhere but at you. She was nervous.
"So… you gonna tell me your name or what?" You smirked as you spoke up.
Her eyes widened as she lifted her head to look at you.
"Oh, shit! I'm so sorry, I'm Juliette, what's your name?" She asked.
"Y/n." You responded with a relaxed smile.
"Y/n..." She repeated softly with a smile.
You would be lying if you said your heart didn't race at how delicious your name sounded coming from her mouth.
"You have a pretty name." You said as the two of you finally reached your classroom.
She blushed and looked down.
"Thanks, I really like yours, too." She smiled.
"Well, after you,” Juliette said, gesturing for you to walk through the door first.
"Why, thank you, madame." You thanked her with a slight bow, causing her to let out a giggle that was like music to your ears.
You grinned widely as you walked past her. You looked around the room in search of an open seat but pretty much all of them were taken.
"Um, you can sit next to me… if you want?" Juliette said shyly, slowly making her way over to her seat in case you wanted to follow.
"Sure." You smiled, following her to her desk.
You sat down, keeping your backpack on the floor next to you and taking your notebook out.
Right as you did, Mr. Porter, your English teacher, walked in. You were slightly disappointed you didn't get the chance to talk to Juliette more.
"Alright, class, good morning." He said as he quickly entered the room and set his things down on the desk.
He then stood in front of his desk and leaned on it, clapping his hands together before speaking.
"Before we begin, I have a little announcement."
Oh god, here we go.
You hid your head in your hands.
"As most of you might have noticed, we have a new student joining us. Would you like to introduce yourself?” he gestured to you.
Isn’t this high school? Nobody introduces new students these days!
Regardless, you stood up, much to your embarrassment.
You looked back over at Juliette, who gave you an encouraging, starry-eyed smile before you started speaking.
"Um, alright… hey guys, my name is y/n. Great to be here, I guess…" You muttered before sitting down, successfully earning a few laughs and snickers from your classmates, including an adorable giggle from Juliette at your poor attempt at a joke.
You smiled to yourself as Mr. Porter begrudgingly accepted your introduction.
He moved on to the lesson and you felt Juliette's eyes burning holes into your skin.
When you looked over at her though, she quickly looked away and you saw the tinge of red that coated her cheeks.
You smiled as you tried to pay attention to the lesson, but all that was on your mind was Juliette next to you.
You looked over at her and your small smile disappeared as you saw her head in her hands. She closed her eyes tightly and you could see her chest rising and falling quicker than normal. You put your arm around the back of her chair and leaned in to whisper into her ear.
"Hey, are you okay?" You asked, concern laced in your voice.
You pulled back a little, but not too much, as her head shot up and displayed her wide eyes and heavy red blush.
Your faces were close and you noticed her looking at your lips before she answered with a nod.
"Yeah, I just get bad migraines sometimes." She whispered back before reaching into her bag and grabbing a container of red pills, popping two into her mouth and swallowing.
You leaned back in your chair and watched her reaction. It seemed to imply instant relief, mixed with a bit of euphoria, as she closed her eyes and her heavy breathing gradually slowed down before she opened her eyes to look back at you with an uneasy smile.
Now it was your turn to be flustered. You quickly looked away, feeling your face heat up.
Holy shit, how could someone look hot just taking pills?!
For the rest of class, you tried not to look at Juliette too much, in fear of her noticing your bashfulness if it had returned, completely forgetting about how strange it was that the pills had worked instantly.
When the bell rang you quickly put your things in your bag and got up from your seat.
"Well, I got pre-calc right now, I noticed we passed the room earlier actually, so I guess I'll see you around?" You cocked your head at Juliette.
"Yeah, yeah, for sure! Um- I'm pretty sure we have lunch together, too, so I'll see you later I guess." She let out a nervous laugh, gripping her backpack straps.
Your eyes light up as you answer her, "Okay, great! Then I'll definitely see you later." You winked at her before quickly leaving the classroom.
The two other classes you had before lunch went pretty well. Surprisingly, you managed to make some friends who also had the same lunch period as you. You smiled as you walked to lunch with them, enjoying the mindless chatter going on between the lot of you, feeling a sense of normalcy for the first time since you moved to Savannah.
~~~Juliette's POV~~~
"WHAT?! YOU ACTUALLY TALKED TO HER?!" Ben screamed.
"Shhhhh! Keep your voice down!" Juliette ducked her head down and glanced around the lunch room, looking for any sign of you.
"Well, you can't blame me! You never talk to any of your crushes, you usually spend weeks trying to talk to them." Ben chuckled. Juliette however, cringed at the thought.
"Well, I was kind of thrown right into it, she bumped into me coming out of Principal Waters' office.” Juliette folded her arms.
"Woah, bitch, you had a whole rom-com moment!" Ben said excitedly.
"What? No..." Juliette blushed intensely.
"I don't even know if she likes girls, or if she likes me, for that matter..." Juliette confessed.
"Girl... does that girl seem straight to you?" Ben looks at Juliette pointedly, causing her to laugh.
"Hey, you can't judge a book by its cover." Juliette shrugged and played with her food, not actually eating it.
She was a prime example of that saying, she thought, with a feeling of guilt.
"I guess..." Ben shrugged.
"Hey, isn't that her?"
Juliette's head whipped around, her heart racing fast as she looked around to see your face.
She heard Ben laugh loudly behind her and she slapped his arm as her face turned red for probably the seventh time today.
"You suck." She rolled her eyes, a small smile teasing at her lips.
~~~Your POV~~~
You walked into the cafeteria with your friends and immediately looked around, trying to spot Juliette.
You spotted her facing a boy with his head thrown back in a fit of laughter.
You excused yourself from your friends for a moment, promising to find them in a bit, and made your way over to Juliette and the boy, causing the boy to perk up when he noticed you.
"Now she's actually here," Ben said as you approached them.
"I'm not falling for that again." Juliette said, crossing her arms.
"Falling for what?" You said, causing Juliette to jump up in surprise and turn around to look up at you quickly.
"Oh, y/n! You're here!" Juliette said, her voice cracking a bit and her face red from her seemingly constant blush.
"Yes, I am." You chuckled and sat down next to her.
"Um, y/n, this is my best friend since childhood, Ben." Juliette introduced you to the boy sitting across from her.
"Ah, nice to meet you." You greeted him with a smile.
"Nice to meet you, too, I've heard a lot about you from Juliette over here," Ben said, smirking.
You caught Juliette giving him a death glare before turning to you and chuckling nervously.
"He's just joking, I talked about you a normal amount." Juliette quickly clarified.
"Hey, I'm not complaining! It's nice to be remembered." You said with a smile.
"How could anyone ever forget you?" Juliette said softly, causing your heart to race.
You felt your face heat up and you looked down with a smile before looking back into Juliette's eyes.
"That's very sweet, thank you." You expressed genuinely.
Juliette blushed heavily and mumbled "It's no problem…" before looking at Ben who seemed to be trying to wordlessly tell her something.
"Oh! Uh, there's this party tonight at Noah Harrington's house. I'm going to be there with Ben… if you wanna come, too?" Juliette asked hesitantly.
You think about it for a moment before responding.
"Sure, why not?" You say, smiling as Juliette's eyes light up, with Ben silently celebrating in the background.
What a great wingman you thought to yourself.
"Alright, I made some friends today and I promised I would sit with them, so sadly I've got to go, but I guess I'll see you guys at the party tonight?" You said as you got up from the table.
"Yeah, definitely!" Juliette said, nodding.
"It was nice to meet you, Ben!" You said, nodding at the boy.
"You too!" He said with a smile.
As you walked away from the table you heard Ben speak up when you were a considerable distance away.
"You wanna fuck her so bad it makes you look stupid." He laughed.
"Ben shut up!" You heard Juliette yell, causing you to chuckle to yourself.
•••
When you arrived at the party you went to get a drink right away before looking for Juliette and Ben.
You finished half of your semi-full cup before finding Juliette and Ben talking to each other with smiles on their faces.
Juliette looked adorable in a semi-short, casual form-fitting dress, and platform boots.
You make your way towards them and catch Ben's eye.
"Oh, y/n, hey!" Ben greets you.
Juliette turns around as you wave at Ben.
"Hey guys, what's up?" You smiled at both of them.
"Hey, you actually came!" Juliette said.
"Of course I did, why wouldn't I?" You asked her.
"I don't know actually..." She said sheepishly.
You laughed a bit before speaking again.
"There could’ve been a multitude of reasons why I wouldn't have come, actually, but I wouldn't leave you hanging, of course." You nudged her with your elbow gently, causing her to blush.
"Well, ladies, I think I spot a cute boy over there, so it's time for me to go work my magic." Ben said, wiggling his eyebrows and hips.
"Oh god,” Juliette said, chuckling.
"Woooo go Ben!" You cheered as he bowed and made his way over to the boy.
"Well, that's Ben for ‘ya." Juliette giggled causing your heart to soar.
"So... how are you liking Savannah so far?" Juliette asked, watching you take a swig of your drink.
"Hmm, I miss home obviously, but it's not too bad here. I've met some pretty cool people…" You winked at her.
A light blush seemed to coat her skin for the millionth time since you met her. It was endearing.
You suddenly felt a burst of courage. You couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol, or if you just couldn't take it any longer, but you chugged the rest of your drink and grabbed Juliette's hand, causing her to let out a little surprised yelp.
You quickly guided her through the party into a closet and pushed her inside, closing the door behind the two of you.
"Y/n, what-"
You cut Juliette off by pressing your lips to hers.
The kiss was full of passion as well as a bit of hunger and desperation.
Your hands cupped her face, feeling heat radiating from her cheeks.
You pulled away for air, your forehead pressed against Juliette's. The space didn't last long though, because Juliette pressed her lips back against yours, her body pushing your back up against the door.
"Jules..." You gasped lightly in between her breathtaking hungry kisses.
"Fuck, say my name again." Juliette groaned.
You grabbed her waist, flipping the two of you around and pushing her up against the door.
"Juliette." You whispered into her neck, starting to leave open-mouthed kisses on her neck.
She moaned, her back arching, causing her to push her body up into yours.
You had no clue how you were doing this in nearly complete darkness, with only a sliver of light coming through the closet; there was just enough light for you to make out Juliette's face. You didn't care, though.
All you could focus on was the fact that Juliette's hands were running all over your body, squeezing your ass and pulling you up against her.
Your hands, which rested on her hips, started to move downwards, squeezing her ass, earning a loud moan from Juliette.
"Shhhhh, we don't want anyone to hear us in here." You chuckled into her neck as you slipped one of your hands under her dress.
She whimpered lightly as you teased her, feeling her wetness soaking through her underwear.
"All this for me?" You pulled back from her neck and asked her teasingly, applying pressure to her core through the soaked fabric.
She gasped out, and maybe it was a trick of the light, but you could swear she had fangs.
You continued teasing at her core, gently applying pressure.
"Fuck, stop teasing." Juliette hissed.
"What if I don't feel like it?" You smirked.
"I swear to-"
You cut her off by pressing your lips to hers as soon as you quickly pulled her underwear down and plunged two of your fingers into her.
You swallowed her loud moans and smiled against her lips.
You slowly thrust your fingers in and out of her as you moved your kisses down her jaw and back up to her neck. You felt wetness rushing to your core as you listened to her moans and whimpers in your ear, feeling her breath hot against your already warm skin.
You used your knee to spread her legs apart a bit more, and your fingers sank deeper into her.
You could tell she was struggling to keep quiet as you sucked at the skin on her neck, definitely leaving a mark as your fingers moved at a steady pace.
Your free hand that held onto her hip snaked up her body under her dress, pulling it up along with your hand. You let out a shaky breath as you finally reached her breasts, slipping underneath her bra and slowly running your thumb over her nipple as you squeezed her breast lightly.
You felt her head fall against your shoulder as she breathed heavily, her body seemingly shaking as you added another finger and curled all of the digits inside her.
"You smell… so good…" She panted, and you felt her warm tongue lick the side of your neck.
You felt her hands that were gripping onto your jacket for dear life loosen a bit as one of her hands snaked its way into your pants and underwear, her fingers collecting your wetness.
"Juliette," You moaned her name into her neck, the pace of your own fingers inside her faltering as pleasure wracked your body.
"Shhhhh," She cooed.
Suddenly stars exploded in your eyes as you felt what you could only describe as her biting your neck as she plunged three of her fingers into you.
The pain of the bite, and sudden stretch of her fingers, lasted only a second before it morphed into pleasure.
She moaned against your neck as you felt a euphoric sensation, your head feeling a little light.
You groaned, resuming a quicker pace with your fingers, Juliette matching yours with her own fingers.
You dropped your hand from her breast and went back to holding onto Juliette's hip, this time for your own stability.
She pulled her head away from your neck and threw her head back at the same time as you, both of you quickening the pace of your fingers.
The heady, dizzy feeling left after a couple of seconds, leaving you feeling a bit confused, but yet again, you ignored it, focusing solely on the pleasure.
The closet was filled with heavy pants and breaths as the two of you worked your fingers inside each other.
You felt Juliette grab your face and bring her lips to yours.
You tasted something metallic as she pushed her tongue into your mouth.
"Jules are you-"
"Shhhh wait... I- I'm so close," She moaned.
And she was, you felt her walls clenching around her fingers, causing your own climax to grow nearer.
"I want you to cum with me." Juliette panted.
You nodded, your eyes struggling to focus on her face in the darkness, and your brain struggling to form any words through the haze.
Juliette quickened the pace of her fingers and curled them inside you just as you did earlier. You moaned and bit your lip hard, mirroring her actions.
"I'm g-gonna cum." You called out in a hushed tone, afraid of someone on the outside hearing you.
"Do it, cum with me, baby." Juliette responded breathily.
Her words pushed you over the edge, the two of you simultaneously coming undone.
Your legs shook as both of you stilled your fingers but still kept them inside each other, while Juliette leaned her back against the door and you leaned against her for support.
As the high from your orgasm wore away and you listened to both of your heavy breaths, you held Juliette, who felt so right in your arms.
Suddenly you remembered the taste in her mouth from earlier.
"Wait, Jules, were you bleeding or something earlier?" You asked her worriedly.
"Wh-what? No?" She said quickly, and now that your eyes had adjusted once more in the darkness of the closet, you could see her eyes widened.
"Are you sure? I tasted-"
"I'm a vampire." She said quickly.
The silence was deafening as you slowly stood back from her.
“Wait! Let me explain!" She burst out.
"Okay..." You said cautiously.
You saw her shuffle a little bit before finding the light switch and flicking it on.
You both blinked a couple of times before your eyes adjusted to the light.
"Okay, so..." She sighed heavily before continuing.
"Like I said, I'm a vampire. And, that blood you tasted... that was… your blood." Her face cringed.
You slapped your hand over your neck, your eyes widening.
"I knew I felt you bite me! Wait..." A confused expression dawned on your face as you tried to feel for the bite mark.
"The bite mark disappears. I'm... a different kind of vampire." She confessed. You heard a bit of guilt in her voice.
"You didn't drain me..." You said, confusion lacing your voice.
Her eyes widened once again, "I would never drain you, I would never drain anyone! I don't kill." She said firmly.
"I don't want to hurt people, and I would never ever hurt you." She continued sincerely, putting her hand on her chest.
"Then why did you bite me?" You asked her, your heart racing.
"I- I couldn't control myself, it's just..." She looked down for a second trying to collect herself before her eyes met yours again.
"I have heightened senses so, I could smell your arousal and your blood racing through your veins, I could hear your heart beating fast. My… bloodlust has been out of control recently." She cringed at the word bloodlust.
"My family is part of a long line of vampires called Legacy Vampires. We're day walkers. After my 16th birthday, everything started getting worse, and my family started pressuring me to have my first kill. That's the only way to stop everything from getting even worse. But I don't want to kill anyone! That's why you've seen me taking those pills. They help me, but… it's starting to not be enough." She looked away from you once again.
You felt your heart sink. Juliette clearly didn't want to hurt anyone, but she was struggling to fight against her own nature because of that.
You moved closer to her, wrapping your arms around her and hugging her tightly, seemingly catching her by surprise.
"What-"
“I'm sorry you have to go through this, Juliette," You said, holding onto her and closing your eyes, taking in the smell of her shampoo.
"You're not a monster. And I don't care that you bit me. You didn't choose to be a vampire." You affirmed.
You felt her body slightly tremble against you and you pulled away from her, but still kept your arms around her.
Tears were steadily falling from her eyes as her bottom lip trembled.
"Thank you. That is honestly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I thought you would hate me forever after this and be disgusted."
"Never. How could I ever hate you? Much less disgusted by your adorable self?" You smiled lightly, wiping the tears from her cheeks with your thumbs.
She let out a broken noise that was between a sob and a laugh as she smiled, holding onto your hands. You kissed her softly as you cupped her face in your hands, your heart fluttering in your chest.
“What do you say we get out of this closet, ditch this party, and go somewhere? Just the two of us." You asked her.
"I'd like that." Juliette said softly.
"Then it's a date." You smiled.
#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction writer#juliette fairmont#first kill#juliette fairmont x reader#juliette fairmont x you#firstkillfanfiction#caliette#calliope burns#calliope x juliette#sarah catherine hook#imani lewis#wlw#smut
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Rating fish lures based on accuracy to the fish they portray:
I like Warmouths a lot and I'd have to say this is mostly accurate - the horizontal striping across the face and vertical striping across the body are good; colors are pretty good; and I love that they captured the red eye color. It loses some points for not having a lighter belly or coloration on the fin edges and the dorsal fin starts too far back. Warmouths are also more "bass" shaped than "panfish" shaped - the mouth especially should be bigger. 7/10
Body shape is... mostly right here (maybe a touch elongated but okay for young fish) but that's about it. Not only is it missing the trademark Bluegill body stripes and dorsal fin spots, but the coloration is way off. Dark fins are weird and the entire body looks odd and washed out - maybe accurate for a dead Bluegill floating for a day or two, but not a live one. 3/10
Yeah baybeeee this is a good one. Body shape? Check. Coloration? Check. The little red spot on the ear? Check (and good attention to detail!). The pesky dorsal fin starts too far back again, but this one would fool me, let alone a fish. 9/10
Oh cmon man, you can't use Lepomis body shape for a Crappie; the latter is much more elongated, has an upturned face, and a hump where the head connects to the body. The dorsal fin starts in the right place but doesn't have the right shape for Pomoxis. Coloration is closest to White Crappie with the stripes, but don't extend across the entire body. 2/10 if I'm generous.
I don't even know anymore. Yellow Perch are much more elongated than sunfish are, with unconnected 1st and 2nd dorsal fins. They got the orangish fins and body color mostly right but missed out on the red highlight on the pelvic and anal fins. 1/10 for the body color alone but the pattern is so common with lures I don't even know if you earned that.
Different brand yes but I was so tickled to see a Bluegill lure this size. Body shape here is good with that chunky frame and it even has the dark spot at the end of the dorsal fin (which I love!). The stripes don't extend all the way down the body, which is correct, but they should extend down past the pectoral fin. The yellow tint gives me more Yellow Perch vibes than Bluegill vibes, but otherwise I think is solid. 7/10
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Jam Mechanics Episode 7 baybeeee
youtube
Episode 7 finds Matt and Bug writing some 4-chord pop songs and talking hedgehogs, Aliens, and Dr. Who. Bug disappoints Reginald Kenneth Dwight in a big way.
Jam Mechanics is a podcast hosted by Matt (The Narcissist Cookbook) and Bug (Bug Hunter) where we challenge each other to write a song demo from scratch every episode.
If you'd like downloadable files for this episode (and the demos we showed off), you can go to our
Bandcamp:
website: https://www.jammechanics.com/
to pay-what-you-want to support us!
Our Music:
The Narcissist Cookbook
Bug Hunter
-- SPOILERS FOR THIS EPISODE BELOW --
BUG'S SONG
Matt's Challenge: BNE SZN (piano only!!)
Title: Season Your Beanie
Lyrics:
I’ll eat my hat if you make it
I’m not mad I’m just candid and someone just had to say it
there’s no path where you’re headed
and you can act all offended
I’m a realist and I feel its best you never pretended
that there’s a chance in a million
you can be handsome or brilliant
but you’ll crash like all the others so you can call me the villain
one day we’ll look back and laugh, I’ll get a pat on the back
but if you make it with your music I will eat my hat
Would like a salad on the side?
we can sub it out for fries?
We got a dad hat meal plan for 10.99
you can order a fedora that you’ll just adore
we got a chef hat special, call it hat du jour
Cuz I’ve got 30 milion reasons that can prove you wrong
and 200 fans in london singing every damn song
I’m rubbin salt in the wounds, just admit you’re defeated
you can season your beanie, but you still gotta eat it
you’d eat your hat if I made it
so I snapback with a menu when you throw all that shade if
you took a bite of brim and didn’t like how it tasted
you should’ve sampled the plastic long before you beret-ed
and hey, yeah, maybe you’re right a bit more often than not
but you could choose to say nothing, it has no sticker or cost
rubbin salt in the wounds to admit you’re defeated
you can season your beanie but you still gotta eat it
you can season your beanie but you still gotta eat it
you can season your beanie but you still gotta eat it
MATT'S SONG
Bug's Challenge: Cthulu (Radio-Friendly)
Title: Get Deep Fried
Lyrics:
let's stay in bed all day
we'll get away from here tomorrow if the monsters allow
what did people ever talk about
the television doesn't work right now
sit with me
beneath the nothing where the stars all used to be before they all went out
they're in the hallway at our door
they're in the walls they're in the floor
looks like it's all gonna end right as we begin
who called this son of a bitch
half mile tall, man looks like a fish
the deep one will swallow us all
he can swallow my balls
who spoke the summoning rite
who's up for fresh calimari tonight
the deep one? eat my ass
more like get deep fried am i right
hentai tentacles
gonna kick him right in the genitals
he's gonna be like "this is terrible"
i'm gonna be like "you look edible"
elder god from the ocean floor
I bet you wish you could sleep some more
i'm your paralysis demon
got hooked and you can't stop screamin
they're in the hallway at our door
they're in the walls they're in the floor
looks like their party's gonna end right as it begins
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little game inspired by a year wrap up post by @preseriesdean :) saw posts from @lovetransaction & @imnot-evenhere so here’s mine <3
Rules: list your top 5 creations you made for this year. Creations can include any type of fic, any type of art, webweaves/comparatives, meta/headcanon posts, gifsets/edits, fanvids, playlists - anything that contributed to the fandom. These don't have to be your most popular - just the ones you love best.
kitchen fork samifer fanvid - my first amv type edit! i haven’t edited in a longgg long time but this idea just took me by the throat and screamed to be realized. hell trauma arc is my fav sam plotline hands down and i loveee love love the implications & fan material about it so i wanted to contribute :)
we don’t talk about it (deanjohn) - MY FAV FIC that ive written!! :) i love love love this fic & im super satisfied with how it came out. i experimented with a 2nd POV bc i saw some other deanjohn fics use it and i think it fits perfectly. its also angsty smut which is just soo. ugh. i love angsty smutty deanjohn & i think i created something equally haunting & enticing with this one.
smoke-soaked leather (wincest) - my first spn fic! it’s a slowburn casefic that’s set during s1. i focused on dean’s self worth issues here. i wanted to write in his self harm in a way that’d be canon accurate while also focusing on how its actually serious self injurious behaviour. i think i did a good balancing act here, plus im proud of the case fic it came together nicely uwu
rend apart the flesh of my soul (wincest) - woundfucking smut baybeeee!!!! this is purely hedonistic (but also angsty because of course it is) but its one of my favs. sooo visceral and gut wrenching in a very sexy way. gotta love early szns for its insanity.
closeted transfem dean hc - my ramblings about dean through the series if he was mtf. angsty ending bc in this hc she never does come out or accept herself. i constantly think about this hc and im in the process of writing a fic about it that will hopefully be out next year !!
tagging @sicksam @rottingsam @hellhoundlair @transboysammy :) show me ur stuff!! (and if uve already done this, tag me in the comments so i can see :>)
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Stranger Therapy - part 4!
Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington
Summary: Steve and Eddie have an awkward encounter and end up telling Robin what's been going on. Their third session with Murray does not go as planned. Link to Ao3
Word Count: 3K, follow-up to part 1 part 2 and part 3!
Warnings: Smooooches, idiot gays being awkward, GAY PANIC AS ALWAYS, what even is the fake dating vs real dating line anymore, Murray is kind of an ass, but also he's right, cameo from loml Robin Buckley, sexual tension and release baybeeee
A/N: Here you have it folks - the much awaited part 4! I never expected this to blow up, and while I have a few scattered ideas of where I could take the story, I think I will leave it at these four parts. A few readers suggested an epilogue so I’ll probably do that, otherwise thank you for following along! xx
Steve’s apartment was somehow both neat and incredibly cluttered. It was like one of those images where the longer you stare at it, the more weird shit you see.
“That’s a really big poster of a can of soup you got there,” Eddie said.
“Yeah,” Steve chuckled. “Robin has a, uh - a unique taste in decor.” Eddie smiled.
“Explains the random bowling pin as a centerpiece, too.”
“Actually, that one is mine,” Steve admitted. “Stole it from a bowling alley when I was sixteen and now it just kind of follows me everywhere.”
“Wow,” Eddie laughed. “So your life of crime literally haunts you.”
“More like,” Steve countered, “I dunno what else I’m gonna do with it at this point. How am I supposed to throw out a bowling pin?”
“I meannnn.” Eddie mimed shooting a basketball. “Straight to a dumpster, I’d think.”
It wasn't an unpleasant conversation, by any means. It was like their usual banter, except one thing was different - now, they were in Steve’s apartment, and they’d just told each other they wanted to date in a non-fake way, but they may have already been doing that, and Jesus Christ we’re a mess.
“Can I get you anything?” Steve asked. Eddie followed Steve to the kitchen and heard Steve go over an assortment of beverage options, but Eddie was too distracted to really listen. He quickly realized if he didn’t pick something, Steve would just keep naming things, so he just blurted out -
“Uh - I’m good, actually.” Steve closed the fridge and leaned against it, as if he was waiting for further instruction. “So, what now?”
“I have no idea,” Steve answered. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Me neither,” Eddie agreed. “Although I do have one idea.”
Eddie took a step closer to Steve and put one arm on either side of him, caging him against the fridge door.
“Oh,” Steve muttered quietly.
“This is okay, right?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded.
And it all would have been fine, in any other situation. Eddie had kissed many people before, and it hardly ever gave him pause. But there was something about kissing Steve, the vulnerability of it all, and the way they were crossing a physical boundary after blowing past so many emotional ones already, that made this feel different.
“What’s taking so long?” Steve teased with a smirk.
“I, uh -” Jesus Christ, just kiss the guy. What the hell is wrong with me? “Oh, fuck. I’m, like, nervous?” Eddie released Steve from the fridge and took a few steps away.
“You’re getting all in your head about it, right?” Steve asked. “Uh, okay. So, does it help if I say I really want to kiss you?” Eddie pivoted on his heels to face Steve again.
“Yeah, that helps,” he said. “Okay, I think we gotta just, like, do it.” Steve chuckled.
This time, Eddie moved quickly and with more enthusiasm - so much so in fact that their foreheads clashed together.
“Oh, shit!” Steve exclaimed. “You trying to kiss me or concuss me?”
“Oh my god,” Eddie said, mortified. “Okay, well this has been fun. We’ve had a great run. I obviously have to disappear forever now.”
Eddie really would have left and never looked back, except Steve didn’t look embarrassed or offended or even disappointed in any way. Instead, he was smiling.
“Dude, you are thinking way too hard about this,” he noted. “Come here.” Steve pulled Eddie back to him by the arm and swiftly kissed him on the lips. It was just a peck - just enough to make contact and break the initial barrier. “See? Easy.”
Yeah, it was easy. Very, very easy. So easy in fact that Eddie found himself immediately chasing Steve’s lips and kissing him again.
He was just about to melt into it when the door burst open, sending the boys flying apart like shrapnel.
“Steve!” Robin greeted. Her gaze drifted to a blushing Eddie. “And guest,” she smirked. “It’s about time you came over. It’s been what - three weeks? Most gay people elope by this point.”
She was obviously joking, entirely unfazed by the whole situation. She walked in and set her stuff down as if nothing was different than usual, then grabbed a poptart from the kitchen cabinet - completely ignoring the tension in the room.
“Nice to, um -” Eddie began. “Finally meet you. Or, meet you again, I guess.”
“Likewise,” Robin said, her mouth full. She plopped herself down on the couch and turned the TV on.
“I wanna tell her,” Steve whispered.
“Tell her what? That I just gave you head trauma?”
“No!” he said. “About, like, all of it.”
“Why?”
“Because I tell her everything and now it’s weird.”
“You guys do realize I have ears, right?” Robin said from the couch. Eddie sighed.
“Fine, tell her.”
“Tell me what?” she asked. Steve and Eddie shared one last panicked glance before Steve took a deep breath to share the secret he’d been keeping for way too long.
“So, you know how Eddie and I went to couples counseling as a joke for the first date?” Robin nodded. “We, uh - we’ve still been going every week.”
“What?” Robin asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. “You’re that committed to the bit? Hasn’t it gotten old yet?”
“That’s the thing,” Eddie interjected. “We’re not going as a joke anymore.”
There was a thick silence in the room.
“So you - wait.” Robin stood up as if pacing would help her understand the messed up situation they’d gotten into. “So you’re - okay but you - what?”
“We’ve been going to therapy and working on our own shit,” Steve clarified.
“Yeah, but like - together,” Eddie added.
“That’s a thing?” she asked.
“It is 100% not a thing,” Eddie replied. “But Dr. Bauman is a fucking genius.”
“He still thinks we’ve been dating for years,” Steve said.
“But we haven’t really gone out much outside of sessions,” Eddie noted.
“Until today,” Steve continued.
“Right,” Eddie nodded. “Today.”
Robin stared at them both for a few moments, contemplating what she’d just learned. Eddie couldn’t believe this was how he was being introduced to Steve’s best friend, but ah well. She’d figure out he was a little unhinged eventually anyway.
Suddenly, she was laughing. It was more of a cackle, really. She bent over and clutched her stomach, she was laughing so hard.
“What?” Steve asked, thoroughly confused.
“You both are such dinguses,” she said in between fits of giggling. “The therapist totally knows.”
“What? No he doesn’t,” Steve denied.
“He’d stop seeing us if he did, right?” Eddie wondered.
“Not if you’re paying him, oh my god.” Robin chuckled again, her laughter dying down. She wiped a tear from her eye. “So, you two aren’t even actually dating?”
“Uhhhh -”
“Not…yet?” Steve answered. “We were about to, um -”
Robin cut them off with another burst of laughter.
“This is the stupidest and best thing you’ve ever done, Harrington,” Robin sighed. “And you’ve done a lot of stupid things.”
“Yeah, I believe that,” Eddie agreed.
The mood was kind of over after that, so Eddie promised Steve he’d text him and then bolted out the door.
All of that - every single part of it - went the exact opposite of how it was supposed to go.
-
Steve: I thought I saw Dr. Bauman at the grocery store, panicked, and hid behind the cantaloupes.
Steve: (It wasn’t him)
Eddie: hahahahhahahahaha
Eddie: did the imposter see you?
Steve: Only a little bit
Eddie: Hmm. Maybe you’d have better luck behind the bananas
Steve: Regular or organic?
Eddie: i set you up for a really good dick joke there and THATS what you came up with??
Steve: Come on, your joke was low-hanging fruit.
Steve: You’re gonna make a balls joke now aren’t you
Eddie: You’re learning!!
Eddie: I mean pshhh no i wasn’t
Steve: ;)
Steve: Sorry about earlier. We still ok?
Eddie: Yeah
Eddie: I’m actually really busy this week and probably can’t see you until our next appt
Eddie: That’s not a line I promise, I actually really fucking like you and want to see you again
Steve: hiiii this is robin, the man is currently too stunned to speak but you guys are cute albeit very dumb
Steve: ff okjasd poik
Steve: SHIT sorry I told her not to send anything
Eddie: so she reads all our texts too?
Steve: Only the ones that make me blush
Steve: …so, most of them yeah
Steve: See you in therapy 😘
-
As promised, Steve picked Eddie up this time for their meeting with Dr. Bauman. He was a little antsy, just knowing how they’d left things the last time. Like - they’d kissed, but only for a second. It hardly counted, honestly. It’s not like they were officially together now. Steve couldn’t kiss Eddie as he sat down in the passenger seat, even though he wanted to. He couldn’t hold his hand as they drove to the office, but knew Eddie’s innermost thoughts and feelings about his dad going to prison. None of it made sense. They’d created something brand new.
“Now look who’s thinking too hard,” Eddie said with a smirk. Steve realized how focused he must have looked and relaxed the muscles in his face.
“Yeah, whoops,” he replied.
“Relax,” Eddie responded. “This is the part we’ve done a few times before already.”
“Yeah,” Steve repeated. “Do you think Robin was right? Do you think he’d still work with us even if he knew we lied to him?”
“I mean, probably. Wanna find out?”
“No!” Steve answered. “I mean, well what if Robin’s wrong and he drops us?”
“Hmm,” Eddie said, stroking the stubble on his chin - which, by the way, was something Steve thought people only did as a joke. Somehow, Eddie made the cartoonish, exaggerated, theatrical behaviors seem charming and normal. “We could ask him about it hypothetically.”
“Eddie,” Steve muttered. “That’s a dead giveaway.”
“Yeah, but if we never admit to it, he has no proof,” Eddie countered.
“Except he could prove we haven’t been dating in like a hundred different ways,” Steve argued.
“Ah, shit. You’re right,” Eddie agreed. “I’d say we could try to be subtle about it, but that’s not really my specialty.”
“You? Not subtle?” Steve teased.
“You’re one to talk,” Eddie responded.
“No arguments there,” Steve said. Without thinking about it, he grabbed Eddie’s hand and held it, and it didn’t feel like a big deal in the slightest.
-
“Something is different.”
It took Murray all of two seconds to read the change in energy between them. He’d figured it would be a week until they figured out they had it bad for each other, and he suspected he’d been correct. He usually was, but then again - there was nothing usual about this.
“What are you talking about?” Steve asked. Murray clocked the way the question made the boys squirm.
“I have something I want to discuss today!” Eddie loudly announced, putting all attention on himself.
“Alright,” Murray said, urging him to proceed. Now Eddie seemed to be the more anxious of the two.
“It’s about the intimacy thing,” he began. “Like, why am I more nervous to do physical stuff now? I mean - why would I be awkward about it now when in the past I’ve never - I mean, we’ve never had an issue with that?” Steve looked completely shocked by the question - not because he was offended by it, just surprised that Eddie was asking.
Murray had to keep himself from grinning at the confirmation that yes, he was in fact always right.
“Well,” Murray answered, “your relationship is going through a transitional period as you’re learning more about each other in a non-sexual way. So, physical intimacy might feel different than it used to.”
“How do I make it not feel different?” Eddie asked.
“The real question is, what feels different about it?” Murray countered.
“Uhhh well, I’m definitely attracted to him. I just wanna like,” Eddie did some vague hand gestures that Murray assumed were supposed to mean sex. “You know? Like, all the time. But then I actually try to do it and I freeze up.”
“Steve, what are your thoughts on this?”
“I guess I don’t really have that problem,” Steve replied, running his hands through his hair. “I’m like, good to go.” Eddie’s face went pale except for the blush of his cheeks.
“Interesting,” Murray noted. “And when you both were sneaking around at the beginning of your relationship, how did the intimacy make you feel?”
Eddie thought about how he’d gotten no action in high school, but he certainly would have loved to run away with Steve at the time, given the chance. Although, his virgin ass would never have had the guts to do anything. Meanwhile, Steve thought about how he had just started to come to terms with his attraction to men his senior year. Neither of them so much as kissed a guy until well after graduation.
Clearly, there was no way for them to answer Murray’s question and solve their real life predicament.
“Fine,” Eddie replied.
“Mhm. Normal,” Steve added.
The issues that these boys were facing, the real ones anyway, they were all deeply important to dig into and process. But Murray couldn’t really do that when half of the time, they were trying to cover their own asses.
“Okay,” Murray sighed. “We’ve known each other about a month now, so I think it’s time we cut the crap.”
“About what?”
“Spare me the denial, boys, I’ve seen right through you since you stepped into my office.” Murray watched as Eddie and Steve processed what was being implied. When they remained quiet, he continued. “Come on! I know you guys have been lying to me this whole time about your relationship. Tell me - are you doing some sort of weird role play? Are you long-time friends pulling an elaborate and extremely expensive prank? Or does one of you not have health insurance, so you’re sharing the love? Spill it.”
“Damn. Robin was right.”
“We can never tell her.”
“Should we make a run for it?”
“I have no idea.”
“Dumbasses!” Murray exclaimed. “I can hear you! Come on, the jig is up. Am I wrong?” Eddie and Steve looked at each other, then shrugged.
“You’re not not wrong,” Eddie replied.
“We’re not going to get arrested for, like, fraud or anything, right?” Steve asked.
“No,” Murray answered. “It’s your money, and I think we’ve done good work here. We still have some time if you want my actual professional advice on anything, by the way.”
“And after that?” Eddie wondered. “Like, is this our last session with you?”
“Why don’t you just tell me the truth from the beginning and we’ll go from there?” he replied.
So, they did. They explained how they met, how they decided to continue seeing Dr. Murray, how they paused their real-life dating, and how they shared a brief, awkward kiss.
“But the thing is, Doc,” Eddie finished. “We actually feel like it’s going well. So, if we promise to just be ourselves, can we keep doing this?”
“This is fascinating,” Murray muttered. “I didn’t realize you two didn’t know each other at all prior to this. Hmm.” He looked through his notes and thumbed through a few books on his shelf, pondering how to move forward. “What we’ve been doing is most like group therapy, I’d say, since you two haven’t seen each other much outside of our sessions. Most of the time, group therapists advise members not to meet up or form relationships outside of the group meetings, so they can focus on themselves in session. It sounds like you do both want to work on your own personal issues, outside of your budding relationship with each other.” Murray continued to consider the ethics of the situation, what he knew so far about the boys, and what he knew about the usual protocol regarding termination of clients. Since this was new territory, Murray could basically do what he thought was best, given the circumstances. “If you want to keep working together, I am willing to do so. But I recommend not seeing each other outside of this, to prevent conflict of interest.”
“Oh,” Steve said. “So, no dating.”
“That would fall under the category of ‘seeing each other outside of this,’ so yes Steve, that’s correct.”
-
“So, Dr. Bauman was kind of a dick today,” Eddie stated as they walked to Steve’s car.
“Yeah, he kind of was,” Steve agreed. “I mean, he’s good at what he does, so maybe we should listen to him.”
They made it to the car and paused, enjoying the warm weather against their skin. Steve leaned against the driver’s side door, and Eddie joined beside him.
“Yeah, I guess,” Eddie sighed. “Because we want to keep seeing him.”
“Right,” Steve responded. Eddie turned his head to face Steve - Big mistake. Steve looked fucking amazing in the sunlight. “So, if he says we should stay apart, then -”
Eddie closed the gap between them and kissed Steve the way he’d been wanting to since they started this whole goddamn thing. He breathed in the scent of Steve’s cologne that had been teasing him and driving him mad. He gripped the bicep that commanded his attention any time it was in view. He ran his hands through the hair that felt just as soft as it looked.
“Bad idea?” Eddie mumbled into Steve’s lips.
“Don’t care,” Steve replied, returning the kiss with fervor.
-
Murray collected his notes from the day and stacked them neatly before filing them, as he always did before lunch. He glanced out the window to check that the weather was still nice, then sighed as he caught a glimpse of something else.
Do these idiots seriously not remember that my office faces the parking lot?
(epilogue found here)
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@escapingthereality @imfinereallyy @raisedbylibrarians @samthemissfit @chaoticvictorianspirit @elizbaehth @despoenaandpyromania @cr0w-culture @bagofgreentea @f1ct1onwh0re @novelnovella @thing-a-ling @bisexualdisastersworld @practicallybegging @soldiers00 @beckkthewreck @fandomz-brainrot @shrimply-a-menace @justanothergirlwithobsessions @freshflowers-and-dryingherbs @satan-is-obsessed @best-selling-show @micheledawn1975 @smolalien13 @sundead @rosered93 @nikboi @thehunterofsleep @havlindzk
@paintballkid711 @abraca-fxckyou @allbimyself26 @jellybabiesforall @allbymyselfexceptformycactus @justaloadofgarbage-blog @alliemunsonsstuff @undreamingscatworld @thefruityfours @hobbitnarwhal @calivanus @wreckmyplans-thatsmyman @antheia @goodolefashionedloverboi @lillemilly @missmagillicuddy @steviesbicrisis @gamerdano @menamesniall @eyeslikewildflowers111 @callmesirkay @stringischeese @eds-trashmouth
#steddie#stranger therapy#stranger things fanfiction#steddie fic#steve and eddie#eddie munson x steve harrington#st fanfic#writing#modern au
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i see its lawrence loving hours so im gonna send a few things ^^
• showering with lawrence and how does it go
• just getting high in general with lawrence
• quiet, soft talks with lawrence
•lawrence realising you are jealous when he talks to others how would that go
Let's goooo finally finishing something I started like a year and a half ago baybeeee
showering with lawrence and how does it go
Showering with him can go one of two ways. (a) Extremely awkward. Lawrence is staring right at the wall with a bright red face, so red that you might worry the water's too hot for him, even though you're shivering from how cold the spray is. Any time you try to express concern you're met with a clipped demand to turn around and stop looking at him. (b) Lawrence is in one of his moods and can't keep his hands off of you. His icy, trembling fingers poke and pinch and prod and it hurts! He can picture your body properly dismantled broken down like livestock and drained of blood so perfect so empty. So just stop moving and stay. Still. He knows what's best. He knows how to care for you.
just getting high in general with lawrence
Lawrence forgets that not everyone has as high a tolerance as him, that the bare minimum to make him high and floaty could send someone else into the worst trip of their life. He likes how drowsy you get, how sleepy and dumb and unable to resist. So weak and fragile like a dead dry flower that crumbles at a mere touch he could take your life without a second thought. He could do whatever he wanted to you, and there would be nothing you could do to stop him. You're limp and empty like a corpse.
quiet, soft talks with lawrence
It's rare that you get a full-blown conversation with Lawrence. Most days it's more akin to him talking at you than with you. In fact, some days he seems annoyed at you for even breathing too loudly. Sometimes you get, lucky, though, and you catch him in a good mood (as good as Lawrence's moods can be, at least). He's not the greatest conversation partner, as he'll often just nod and hum at what feels like the right moments without actually offering much. Find the right topic (plants, art, mortality) and you may find yourself in an interesting back and forth. Lawrence can actually be quite philosophical when he wants to be, and though much of what he says makes little sense, you'll always come out of it with an interesting new outlook to consider.
lawrence realising you are jealous when he talks to others how would that go
He hates talking to people. He hates how loud they are. He hates their judgemental stares. He hates their unpredictable behavior. He hates all of it. Lawrence avoids the living like the plague. He feels so much more at home when surrounded by death and decay. So when you cling to his side, perhaps even try shooing off Lawrence's conversation partner, he can't help but feel a wave of relief washing over him. He doesn't even begin to expect that you may have been jealous. Hell, he may not have even noticed that you were trying to end the interaction prematurely. You may have to tell him straight-up that you were jealous. He won't entirely know how to react. He's never really seen himself as worthy of being jealous over. He's not worthy never good enough no-one can see him stop looking at him now. But... it's nice, having something need him so much, none of his other plants can need him the same way you do. His own special calathea.
#Boyfriend to Death#Lawrence Oleander#GN Reader#Headcanons#NSFT#Drug Usage TW#Fun fact calathea are apparently super high maintenance needy plants lmao
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