#the audio is so clear here you can hear how he messes up the lyrics ajenfnjdje
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bishops knife trick i owe you my life
#the audio is so clear here you can hear how he messes up the lyrics ajenfnjdje#god i need this tattooed to my brain asap#fob#fall out boy#tourdust#2ourdust#all the mania songs in this tour have personally hurt me btw
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aphrodite in war | 01
pairing: jeon jungkook x reader
genre: comedy, fluff, angst, eventual smut / greek life, fake dating, roommates, lovers to enemies and back to lovers au
word count: 11,022
description: Everyone knew about the war that had been brewing on the edge of campus for the past two years. Sorority versus Fraternity; a showdown for the ages. However, when the escalating antics between them yields the consequence of possible suspensions for both chapters, the presidents of each house must come together to try and figure out how to end this battle... Which is kind of hard, considering they were the ones responsible for it in the first place.
note: here is an audio post of a beautiful song with lyrics inspired by AiW, which was written by one of my lovely readers!
→ part 02
Hostility bleeds deep. The rivers of resentment collide violently as they carve a divide so saturated in disdain between the parties involved that you don’t even need to be told that there is something more to the story. It doesn’t need to be said out loud, but is just instinctively felt.
You didn’t need to be told that the ominous house at the end of street was sketchy and should be avoided at all cost; you just knew it. You didn’t need to be told that there was bad blood between the guy and girl whose jaws suddenly stiffened as their lips transformed into a firm, straight line when they caught sight of each other at a party; you just knew it — And you most certainly didn’t need to be told that there was an absolute war brewing at the end of Greek Drive between the Tri Delts and Lambdas; you just fucking knew it.
In the beginning, their rivalry was small. It was simple antics such as egging each other’s houses or fucking around with the letters that they so proudly displayed on their lawns. But then it turned a bit more intense. Egging the houses turned into spray-painting them and fucking with the letters on their lawns turned into completely trashing each other’s lawns. It was because of this that the once harmless pranks turned infamous. Everything that happened between their houses had constantly been circulated around campus for the past two years, or at the very least among their Greek counterparts… Which was probably how the two newly inducted presidents of Delta Delta Delta and Lambda Phi Epsilon, on the very first week of their final year in college, found themselves sitting in the office of a much higher power than their own titles — The president of their university; a single word spilling past his lips that had their stomachs twisting.
“Suspension!?” They both yelled in disbelief.
It was a word no organization wanted to hear. It branded your chapters with a shame that would be painted across the local news stations and even across the country. The lines would blur, only to lump them in with those terrible hazing stories that constantly flooded the media.
“P-president Kwon,” Jungkook finally stuttered out after a moment of coming to terms with the seriousness of the situation they were being faced with. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I promise the very... minor pranks that go on between our houses are probably much less problematic than what you’re thinking.”
“Mr. Jeon, do you think that we would threaten something of such dramatic action without several instances of confirmed proof?” President Kwon asked in a clipped tone as he leaned forward in his chair.
You could see the way that Jungkook blanched next to you, clearly not expecting this harsh treatment from President Kwon. Lambda Phi Epsilon happened to be President Kwon’s former fraternity, so it was well known that there was a good relationship there. However, in this moment you could make out nothing except for a glaring, red warning shining off the president’s ice-cold eyes.
“I — no, sir,” Jungkook whispered, dropping his head slightly to hide the sudden flush of red that was rushing to his face.
“It is more embarrassing than I can possibly describe to the two of you, receiving dozens upon dozens of phone calls and emails over the incidents involving your organizations. Garbage littering every inch of your front yards, obscene images drawn onto your houses, several instances of animal control having to be called due to rodents being set free in the house as a… as a prank? All of this is happening while visits from prospective students and their parents are being conducted. Donors who help this school are wandering the campus and seeing it. Tell me, did the incidents I just mentioned not actually transpire, Mr. Jeon? Ms. Y/L/N?”
The air was so stiff that you barely managed a shaky inhale in order to respond to the juvenile antics being laid out before you. “No, th-they did transpire, sir. And I don’t know what to say besides that I’m so, so sorry that we’ve embarrassed the university this way.” You bit at the inside of your cheek, President Kwon’s relentless glare of disappointment cutting you through and through.
“Yes, so completely sorry,” Jungkook added.
Nothing was said for a few moments after that. It seemed President Kwon wanted to make the two of you squirm for everything that you had done, and it was definitely working. Every movement made you feel self-conscious, the judgement permeating the office air felt as if it were sticking to your skin.
“I know that what we’ve done is completely unacceptable, President Kwon,” You began, not being able to take the silence anymore. “But I promise if you give us just one more chance, we’ll clean up our acts. No more pranks, just cordial neighbors. As the new presidents of our chapters this year, we’ll make sure the members understand that this behavior isn’t something that will be tolerated anymore.”
Jungkook was nodding his head next to you in agreeance. But once again the room was plunged into silence. It was honestly torture, sitting there under such scrutiny as someone held something so dear to you in the palm of their hand. It would break your heart if the suspension actually went through… Considering it was yours and Jungkook’s fault that tensions had gotten to where they were in the first place. The bad blood between the two of you had seeped into the minds of your members as well, which was ultimately how it got so ugly. But it had gotten especially bad this year now that you were the respective presidents of each of your houses and had allowed things to escalate further. Harsh feelings between two people couldn’t do much damage, but when it was dozens versus dozens, well that was when things got messy.
Eventually though you found yourself being pulled back to reality. President Kwon cleared his throat, the sound making your heart stutter in your chest as you prepared yourself for the worst.
“You’re exactly right. It won’t be tolerated any longer.” He paused for a moment, probably for the added effect of letting anxiety seize its way around your lungs. “Probation for the next three months. One more incident and it’s over. Do you understand?”
At that there was a simultaneous sigh of relief from you and Jungkook as the looming consequence faded… At least for now.
“Thank you so much, President Kwon.” Jungkook stood from his chair, reaching across the table to shake his hand. “I promise we won’t mess this up.”
You lifted yourself up from your chair as well, following his lead. “Yes, we promise.”
“I hope that’s true,” Is all President Kwon responded with as he led the two of you towards the door of his office. “Take care.”
With rather mumbled and rushed goodbyes you exited his office, the two of you shuffling quickly down the hallway until you were sure you were out of earshot. Both of you stopped as you turned the corner, insults already resting on the tips of your tongues.
“This is all your fucking fault!” You yelled in a hushed whisper.
“My fault!?” He whispered back, equally as intense. “You’re the one who started this shit, Y/N. No one would even be fighting if you hadn’t opened your mouth to your friends.”
“I was just venting to them! I had no idea that they would go and actually do something about it. And it was a harmless prank. They planted fucking flowers in front of your house for god’s sake, and your loser friends retaliated by digging holes in our yard. You guys are the ones who escalated it, and now it’s this out of control thing that’s going to get our chapters suspended!” Your chest was rising and falling, anger boiling inside of your blood. You had never even partaken in any of the antics that had gone on between the two houses nor had you baited any of your members into participating.
Jungkook rolled his eyes, tongue pressing at the inside of his cheek. “You know what? It’s whatever. We’ve been arguing about this for two years now, so I’m not expecting you to be reasonable any time soon.”
Your fists clenched at your sides, the painful reminder of how long this had been going on searing a deep cut across your chest. But it was like Jungkook had said, this had been going on for a long time and there was no point in arguing about who was right, because it wasn’t as if it actually mattered. So instead, you just didn’t respond. You stared at him for a moment, sneer fading into this sad downward turn of your lips. And surprisingly you watched the way his expression softened as well. His brows were furrowing a little less, his jaw not as hard and brooding.
You gave him a tiny nod before you turned away and headed towards the exit. It was a few seconds before you heard his footsteps start to follow you. Every time his sneakers would squeak against the linoleum floor behind you, it felt like this tiny pressure was beginning to build at the base of your throat. You weren’t sure why you still got these feelings of… longing, even after all of this passed time. It was pathetic. Jungkook apparently didn’t long for anything from back then, so why did you?
Eventually you were able to breathe a little clearer once you pushed your way through the exit and away from the tight and tense space of faculty meetings and suspension threats. The fresh air filled your rattled lungs — too bad it was murky and humid beneath the gray storm clouds that were currently drowning the campus in a depressing drizzle.
“Goddammit,” You muttered beneath your breath.
You didn’t drive here since this building had been so close to your last class of the day. The Tri Delt house was about a ten minute walk from here, so it looked like you needed to get going before the light sprinkle of rain turned into a thunderstorm. You were about to step out from underneath the overhead of the roof and down the steps when you felt a light tug of someone pulling at the back of the belt loop on your jeans.
“Do you need a ride?” Jungkook asked before you had even turned around to fully face him. His expression was neutral. It didn’t seem annoyed or concerned, but he had always been good at hiding his emotions like that.
Of course you didn’t want to walk home in the rain, but sitting in a confined space with Jungkook after you’d both just gotten done yelling at one another didn’t seem like the greatest time either. But in the end, you decided that a few minutes wouldn’t kill you. “Yeah, I guess,” You whispered, motioning for him to go ahead so you could follow. His car was parked in one of the first spots at the bottom of the steps. You were both silent as you opened the doors and climbed inside.
It was weird. You hadn’t been in Jungkook’s car in years. You watched him pull out of the parking space, one hand on the wheel, the other leaning against the center console. It felt all too familiar. You blew a heady sigh past your lips, hands wringing in your lap. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed, the tension between you and him never seemed to lessen. It was a constant, palpable stiffness in the air.
“Do you think we’ll be able to get them to stop fighting?” Jungkook finally asked once they turned onto Greek Drive, giving some mild relief to the strain that the two of you were so highly aware of.
“If suspension doesn’t do it, then I honestly don’t know what would.”
He nodded, seeming to agree. “Yeah, I’m sure they’ll cut it out.”
“Yeah, they can’t be that dumb—” However, your words seemed to disintegrate along your tongue as the car approached the Lambda and Tri Delt houses that stood side by side.
“Jesus Christ,” Jungkook muttered, pulling into the driveway which currently had a Lambda named Jimin running down it towards his truck that was completely covered in saran-wrap and a laughing Tri Delt named Joy who was holding said saran-wrap.
“Get back here and take this shit off my truck right now!” You heard Jimin yell.
“Nope, I’m good.” She smiled, shrugging and taunting him as she jogged away.
“This… This might be harder than we thought,” You said.
Jungkook rested his head against the steering wheel, eyes closed. “Yeah, way fucking harder.”
---------
It was several mass group texts later, demanding that every Lambda and Tri Delt come to their houses immediately, that all forty-two members of the combined organizations who actually lived in-house finally arrived… Yeah, there was no way that this could go terribly wrong or anything… Right?
You and Jungkook stood in front of the members as they gathered on the grassy area that separated your two houses. As expected there were dozens of mumbled conversations transpiring, all speculating on what the hell was going on here. You looked to Jungkook, giving him a nod to tell him that they should start.
He cleared his throat, clapping his hands together, resulting in large boom that got everyone’s attention. “All right, listen up. We have something important we need to discuss.”
“Jungkook, why the hell are the Tri Delts here?” A Lambda named Yuta yelled out.
“Because we can be, asshole.” It was Jennie.
“Who’re you calling an asshole?” Taehyung asked, even though he had nothing to do with it.
“Your dickhead friend,” Sana responded, again even though it had nothing to do with her.
And then Chanyeol chimed in, followed by Momo, which then got escalated by Johnny and continued by Dahyun. After that you lost track of who was arguing because it just became a giant clusterfuck of people yelling and this was the perfect example of how this entire war started — people getting involved in the business of others that didn’t even concern them.
You started rubbing at your temples, fingernails digging into your palms. This was enough. “Shut the fuck up!” You yelled, a loud echo that reverberated through the air and hushed everyone into silence. “This is why you’re all here.” You motioned towards them.
“What do you mean?” Someone asked from the back. “What’s going on?”
“Me and Y/N had a meeting with President Kwon today,” Jungkook paused, releasing a deep sigh before continuing. “He said that if we all keep publicly fighting the way we have been… that our chapters will get suspended.”
There was a small pause, as if it didn’t immediately click with everyone what had been said — and then the panic set in.
“What?!”
“No fucking way!”
“He can’t be serious!”
“That’s bullshit!”
“This is just another prank, right?!”
Having forty-two people publicly shouting expletives, wasn’t the best start to this image reset that President Kwon wanted, but there was no way either of the chapters would have been okay with the other house coming into their own, so this little outdoor set-up was the best option they had.
You and Jungkook sort of just stood there for a moment, letting the members get their gut-reactions out. Then he turned to you, motioning towards the mob of angry Greek lifers. “You were always better at yelling than me. You wanna quiet them down?” He smirked, a jab that had you clenching your teeth.
“Great way to start off this so called peace treaty, but sure, I’ll gladly calm them down and get straight to the point. I wouldn’t want to let them drown in their own heads without knowing what’s going on because someone won’t just be upfront.” You stared him straight in the eyes, making sure he got your double meaning since he wanted to play dirty and bring up the past. He simply clenched his jaw and averted his gaze back to the crowd of hysterics laid out before them.
“Quiet down and we’ll explain.” You yelled as loud as you could, hoping it would reach everyone so that the chatter would die down quickly. Luckily it seemed they were all on the verge of a mental breakdown and needed answers, so the volume was almost instantly brought down to a hush. All eyes were now on you. “To make things simple, President Kwon thinks that our little prank war or whatever the hell you want to call it, has brought too much negative attention to the school. Visiting students and their parents, donors, and apparently a lot of other people have noticed all of the antics that we pull on each other, and they don’t like it.” You paused, gauging the reactions, but everyone was just frozen in place, waiting for more details. “He put both of our houses on three months of probation and said that if we don’t clean up our acts and stop with all of this petty bullshit that he would suspend our chapters. So, really it’s that easy. We just have to let this feud die down...” You paused, not wanting to say what you were going to say next, but you thought that it would be the best way to diffuse the situation. “And I know that it was the venting of my personal feelings that started this entire thing, so I wanted to say… I’m sorry for causing it.” You didn’t look towards Jungkook, but you could feel his stare burning into the side of your face. You didn’t want to see his expression. Didn’t want to see the smugness or whatever the hell he was feeling towards this forced public apology. You were about to continue, but before you could, a high-pitched voice cut in.
“No, why are you apologizing?” Sana said, stepping past the front lines of the two groups. “It is not your fault.” She shot a glare towards Jungkook who simply rolled his eyes and kept his stare straight ahead.
Then it was Jennie pushing to the front to join in on your defense. “She’s right, Y/N. It’s not your fault. We’re the ones who planted the flowers as a joke. Even though it was a harmless joke,” She turned towards the Lambda boys, venom coating her words, “that made their trashy house look a little bit nicer. Yet, they had to escalate it into something else.”
Oh, this was not good.
Jimin broke through the front line for the Lambdas, a scowl etched across his face. “It’s not the issue of what you did. It’s the fact that back then you blindly fucked with the house that all of the guys lived in, not only Jungkook, just because of Y/N being upset over their relationship — which, he did nothing wrong since you wanna start glaring at people for no fucking reason Sana.”
It was this violent concoction of anger and sadness colliding inside of your stomach that had you simultaneously fighting back the urge to bite off Jimin’s head or crying pathetically in front of everyone.
Multiple people were stepping to the front of their groups now, various arguments splintering off as people began defending the heads of their respective houses. Y/N this, Jungkook that. You stared at the second story of the Tri Delt house, focusing in on the bedroom window all the way to the right (your bedroom), so that your hearing would blur out. You didn’t want to listen to these arguments any more, but you also didn’t have the energy to both somehow defend yourself while also admitting that Jungkook’s feelings from back then were also valid. So you stood there, eyes glazing over at the sight of the room where this entire feud spawned from. Though, maybe that wasn’t exactly correct. According to Jungkook it had started in no particular place and at no particular time that he could actually pinpoint. That was just the place where it had all finally been verbalized.
You weren’t sure how long you zoned out for, just reminiscing on the conversation from that night, but it was Jungkook’s voice thundering through the air that halted everyone’s arguments once again, along with your torturous thoughts.
“All of you just fucking stop!” He yelled. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how it started. If we keep doing this we’re gonna get our chapters suspended. Do you guys want that?” There was an awkward moment of silence where everyone was just sort of looking around at one another before the members finally grumbled a unanimous ‘no.’ “Okay, so then you guys are just gonna have to get over this bullshit, just like how me and Y/N are,” Jungkook paused, one brow arched as he turned to face you. “Right?”
You felt your face heat up as you clamped your teeth down onto the inside of your cheek. “…Right.”
“Good.” Jungkook smiled, seeming very happy with himself for getting that out of you — smug asshole. He turned back to face all of the members, clapping his hands together before saying something that caused the entire group to erupt into hysterics. “Now, apologize to each other.”
“Fuck that!” Someone screeched from the back. “Baek let the air out of my tires last year. I was late for my final.”
“Because you put a pair of panties in my car and my girlfriend thought I was cheating on her!”
“You probably were!”
Everyone was screaming and calling out various incidents, saying there was no way in hell they were ever going to apologize.
“Fine! Fucking fine!” Jungkook cut in immediately before it could devolve again. “How about if me and Y/N just apologize to each other and it’ll count for the rest of you? And then this war is dead. Sound fair?”
No one said anything concrete in response, just unintelligible grumbles rippling through the crowd. Jungkook apparently took this as an okay, because he was suddenly turning toward you. “Alright, you go first.”
You scoffed. “I’m not apologizing first. It wasn’t even my idea. Besides I already apologized to everyone earlier.”
“It wasn’t an apology to me though.”
“I don’t think I owe you an apology.” You shrugged. “I apologized for my friends fucking with your house. What else do I need to apologize for?”
He just looked at you, with those eyes that were unreadable. Though you could see a slight shift, as though there truly was something that he wanted you to apologize for from back then, but he could tell that you weren’t going to back down, so he went for something that cut deep as punishment.
He huffed in annoyance. “Fine, if you wanna be like that. I’m sorry that I broke up with you, Y/N.”
Your entire body flared with anger that had a pool of sweat instantly swelling at your hairline. You stepped closer to him, only a foot of space between you, but he didn’t back down and you weren’t going to either. “And I’m sorry I wasted three years of my life with a lying, cheating piece of shit!”
His eyes went wide. The word that never failed to strike a nerve whenever this argument was brought back under the light. His response was quiet but firm, everyone, all forty-two members watching in silence. “I never cheated on you, but if you want to think that just so I can be the bad guy in your head, fine.”
His final word felt like a sharp cut across your chest, but you stood firm, not backing down. You didn’t break eye contact with him as you voiced your final sentiment to the two groups of warring Greeks. “I don’t care whose side you guys fall on when it comes to this overblown drama between me and Jungkook. The fighting, the pranks, all of it, it’s over.”
“Agreed.” Jungkook bit out before turning and walking towards the Lambda house, a silent command for his Brothers to do the same.
You didn’t stand there for a single second longer and began walking toward your own house, your fellow Sisters following. Your best friends, Sana and Jennie, instantly threw their arms around your shoulders. “Vodka?” The universal distraction from all things awful in life.
You shook your head. “Tequila.” The universal eraser to all things awful in life. “Lots of tequila.”
——-
“He’s lucky that we’re in a truce now or I would’ve thought up something diabolical for his arrogant ass,” Jennie said as she dusted some blush on her cheeks.
“I know right, ugh!” Sana made a disgusted sound as she handed you the necklace she was letting you borrow for the night. “Telling you to apologize first. Like fuck you. You haven’t even done anything.”
You simply sighed, jumping to get your jeans past your thighs. “It’s fine guys. As long as no more issues pop up we can just ignore them and act like none of this ever happened.”
“I know, I know, but it just pisses me off that they always bring your name into the argument. Like you didn’t tell us to go and mess with them. We did it ourselves, and sure, looking back on it now we shouldn’t have done it — even though they were some nice fucking flowers — but regardless, they pushed it to another level.” Sana let out a final huff as she hopefully released the last of her ranting for the night.
“The point of the tequila,” You said as you filled three shot glasses, several wedges of lime waiting beside them, “Is to forget the problems. Not continue thinking about them.”
Sana snapped her fingers and pointed at you with a smile as she picked up her shot. “You know what, you’re right. Fuck the Lambdas. They no longer exist. In my head we live next to a vacant patch of grass.”
“Exactly.” Jennie picked up her glass, leaving the final one for you. “Cheers to no longer having to deal with the house that must not be named.”
The three of you let out a little cheer before clinking your glasses together and forcing your bodies through the post-shot shivers that followed.
After the front yard meeting fiasco you knew immediately you would be going out. However, it had still been quite early, so you, Sana, and Jennie decided to indulge in several glasses of wine to bide the time before it was late enough to feel like an appropriate time to be downing shots. Tequila at six in the afternoon, even on a Friday, just didn’t feel right, so alcohol juice it had been. Though, the warm feeling that was already radiating through your legs as you walked over to the mirror to do one last once over of your outfit indicated that the so called alcohol juice had done its job as the pre-game to the actual hard liquor pre-game a little too well.
“Okay, I’m only opting for one more round while we’re here or else we will be having a repeat of St. Patrick’s Day.” Too many green beers that day. Too many.
“Senior year wisdom.” Jennie placed her hand over her heart. “Our freshman year brains would never.”
“Our freshman year brains didn’t have an aversion to six different types of alcohol yet.” You laughed as you motioned to take the next round of shots. “And I would like to still be able to look at a bottle of tequila without going into a full-body sweat after tonight, so we’re pacing ourselves.”
“Oh, Fireball. The days when I could still drink you were so simple.” Sana grabbed her face and grimaced as if Fireball was a long lost god, while you audibly gagged from the name of the cinnamon flavored whiskey alone.
“Sana, stop. You know Y/N can’t even look at a churro anymore without looking like she’s gonna yak everywhere like a dog.”
I faked a sniffle. “God, I miss being able to eat churros.” Cinnamon was now inedible to you thanks to your now forever connection between the delectable spice and the previously mentioned unspeakable liquor. A break up that rivaled that of yours and Jungkook’s.
“Uber’s gonna be here in three minutes,” Jennie said as she returned to your bedside table to grab her shot glass once again.
The three of you raised your glasses together with a clink. “Let’s fuck it up.”
——----
The bar right next to your college, simply referred to as “Pub,” was a weird place to be on the first Friday of the new semester. It was a mix of underage freshman trying to slyly sip at their alcohol while attempting to hide the X’s marked on their hands, and of age students that felt a little too old to be at Pub, but who could argue with free drinks for girls until midnight? Definitely not you, Sana, or Jennie.
The three of you found your temporary home at the tables on the deck right outside of the entrance, the fresh air much preferable to the stuffy atmosphere of the dance floor that you would soon find yourself on given the right song choice to send you flying through the door.
You watched as Sana shimmied through the crowd of people to return to your table, three tiny plastic cups in hand. “You get a vodka Sprite, you get a vodka Sprite, and I get a vodka Sprite!” She yelled as she set the cups down on the table.
You laughed. “People may call that basic, but we still get drunk and don’t have to drink Jack and fucking Coke.”
“The Devil’s combo.” Jennie sipped her drink. “You see a guy drinking that: run. He thinks he’s so fucking cool.”
Sana raised her plastic cup. “Cheers to the truth.”
“Cheers,” You all agreed collectively.
“But speaking of guys who don’t drink Jack and Coke, I ran into Namjoon when I went to the bathroom a minute ago.” A blush crept across Jennie’s cheeks.
“Are you finally gonna see if he’s interested? He’s not your TA anymore, so it’s not sketchy.”
Jennie shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s weird. He seems so uninterested that it’s intimidating. Like I’ve imagined thirty-seven different scenarios for our first date and he’s only like ‘Hi, Jennie. Bye, Jennie.”
You and Sana couldn’t help but laugh, however, the amusement was cut short by a decently sized group of familiar males.
“Fuck me,” You said under your breath, which was enough for Jennie to turn around and see the pack of Lambda boys climbing the wooden steps onto the deck of the bar, Jungkook leading the way.
“You try to forget your problems and they just walk in on two legs.” Sana groaned. “It’s rude really.”
The group got caught in the line to get into the bar, which unfortunately left them idling uncomfortably close to your table, and of course something had to be said.
Jimin glanced down at them sitting, a fake grin plastered to his mouth. “If it isn’t our cordial neighbors.”
Jennie snapped her head up to look at him, mirroring his forced smile. “Cordial can also mean that we’re pretending you don’t exist. In fact, we no longer acknowledge that we even have neighbors.”
“That’s fantastic, actually. It means I can forget that awful blowjob you gave me freshman year even happened.”
Jennie’s jaw clenched for all of a millisecond before responding. “Awful? Say that to my untouched vagina after you came in sixty seconds. Though again, we’re pretending you don’t exist, so I guess I can forget the most underwhelming sexual experience of my life. Thanks, Jimin.” She turned back to you and Sana, not sparing a second glance as if she’d simply given someone directions to the nearest Denny’s.
But Jimin wasn’t through. “That’s not what happened—”
You could see in your friend’s face she was already squaring up another jab, and as much as you found it entertaining you knew it was setting a bad example.
“Jennie,” You said at the same time that Jungkook sighed “Jimin.”
You both looked at each other, a silent message of gratefulness passing between the two of you at trying to actually make this work.
“Guys, neither of us want to get our chapters suspended. If ignoring each other is the best route, do that, or maybe even be friends. Whatever results in no fuckery between our houses, okay?” You reminded them of what was at stake here and everyone nodded, letting any planned animosity fall away as the line to get into the bar began to move.
You tilted your head, watching as Jungkook’s back disappeared into the building, his eyes crinkling as he smiled brightly at some girl who noticed him the second he made it past the threshold.
Again, that stupid feeling of longing for something that was clearly dead and gone. But you didn’t want to get too down, so before you could spiral too far you turned back towards your friends. “So did he really last sixty seconds?”
“No,” Jennie smiled, “But I definitely still have the texts of him telling me the next day it was the best suck of his life. He’s the one that lied first, so I get to bend the truth too.”
“Freshman year is so weird to think about. Everyone was actually friendly. Jennie and Jimin might be dating right now if it wasn’t for our little war.” Sana laughed as she batted the napkin away that Jennie tossed at her.
“Absolutely not. I want someone like Namjoon, who’s smart and respectful. Not Jimin, who… who…” She trailed off simply finishing her thought with a wordless grimace.
Jennie said that, but you knew it wasn’t exactly true. You remembered very well when Jennie and Jimin were involved and she actually seemed to enjoy the Lambda’s presence quite a bit. But then things went to shit the summer after your freshman year was over, and well, this was the reality now. Snide comments at every passing instead of mutual invites to beach days.
You were beginning to let a little slideshow of memories from that first year cloud your head when a song that already had you lifting out of your chair clamored inside the bar. “We dance till dawn!” You pulled your friends by their arms through the entrance, waving your wristbands at the bouncer before pushing your way to the middle of the dance floor.
“Drinks!” Jennie beamed, remembering that they had finished the others outside. “I’ll be back!” She yelled over the music, pointing towards the bar.
You and Sana gave her a thumbs up as you began to dance together, singing the lyrics so loud your throats would certainly punish you by night’s end. But you didn’t care. Today had been absolutely disastrous, ripping up old wounds that you wished would just stay permanently beneath their flimsy bandaid, so you were thankful for this music that was blaring so loud that thoughts weren’t even an option, the alcohol that was so potent you could barely remember Jungkook’s smug face from the house meeting today, and your friends that allowed you to be this happy on days this bad.
A few songs passed and you and Sana were still dancing and getting so hyped up by every new spin that it took you a second to remember that Jennie definitely should’ve been back by now. You looked around, only to find a sight that made you let out a slight scream that was completely concealed by the music. You tapped Sana and began pointing towards the bar. She turned and immediately mirrored your excitement.
Namjoon was leaning into Jennie at the bar, whispering something into her ear and you could see her smiling, redness once again blooming on her face. In your drunkenness you pulled out your phone and snapped severa blurry pictures, which were sure to be a great topic of discussion in the group chat tomorrow. You watched Jennie nod her head, smiling and pointing to the three drinks in her hand, and then she started back towards where you were.
“Bitch, the drinks could’ve waited!” You tried to say over the music. “Go back and talk to him.”
Jennie actually looked giddy as she handed over the drinks to you and Sana. “I am. He’s leaving soon though, but he asked if I wanted to grab something to eat with him at the diner down the street.”
Sana jumped up and down in excitement. “So he basically asked you to marry him? Got it.”
“Oh yeah, he’s totally gonna propose to me over my omelette.” She joked, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Are you guys okay if I go?”
“Of course, but I will be checking your location in fifteen minutes and if you are not at that diner I will hunt Namjoon’s ass down in two seconds,” You warned. “—Except if you decide you wanna skip the diner and go straight to fucking that’s cool too, just let us know.”
Jennie threw out another giddy expression at the thought. “I’ll text you guys. Love you!” She said, kissing her hand and throwing it out to you as she weaved back towards where Namjoon was waiting for her at the bar.
“Fuck Disney,” You shouted to Sana. “Dreams come true at Pub too.”
She bent over, laughing as she tried to sip her drink. “Ugh, if only we could be that lucky. I’ve never had a TA even close to that hot.”
“Same, but maybe we’ll find something else tonight.” You motioned toward the back where you could see some of the soccer players hanging out. You eyed Jung Hoseok. The two of you had hooked up a few times last year, and getting laid would be a perfect ending to this bad to actually decent day.
“Oh, I see.” Sana wiggled her brows, giving a knowing look. “Let’s go bump into them.” She grabbed your hand and began leading you through the crowd until you reached the area that the soccer players were idly standing around and sipping their drinks. You started a conversation about something random right behind Hoseok, and it was only a minute or so before he turned around and noticed the two of you.
“Oh, look who it is.” He smiled, hugging you. “Been a while.”
“I know your summer must’ve been so dull without me,” You flirted, sipping at your drink.
“No question.” He leaned back against the wall, pulling you by the waist so you weren’t halfway on the dance floor and constantly being bumped into. Sana noticed the gesture and took that as her cue to let things simmer between you and Hoseok.
“Y/N, I see Nayeon and Joy over there.” She pointed towards the other corner of the bar, where you saw the two Tri Delts mingling. “I’m gonna go over there, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
She leaned into your ear, whispering, “If you wanna go home with him just text me. I’ll catch a ride with them on the way back to the house.”
“I’m ninety-five percent sure I will, but I’ll text you to make sure,” You whispered back.
She squeezed your shoulder before pulling back. “Take care of her Jung. I’ve heard you’re very good at that.” Sana smiled like a tiny devil before running through the crowd, leaving you slightly slack-jawed.
You bit your lip, a small warmth creeping into our face. “Please, ignore that,” You bit through an awkward laugh.
“Why’re you embarrassed?” He smiled, shrugging before leaning next to your ear. “I mean I have taken care of you every single time we’ve been together, right?”
His breath was hot against the side of your face, leaving you tingling. You lifted your hand, cupping his jaw as you pulled him back to look him in the face. “You can’t say things like that to me when we’re in a bar and you can’t do anything about it.”
He smiled, eyes drifting to your mouth. “I mean we could always leave. It’s almost closing time anyways.”
You smiled. “One more drink, after I finish this one.”
“Perfect.” He leaned in, gave you a small peck on the lips before ruffling your hair a little and turning to say something to his friend. Presumably it was something about him getting laid tonight, which was exactly the same conversation you were about to have with your friend.
You: the hookup is secure
Sana: quick work. i’m proud
Sana: joy and nayeon said that lisa is sick in the bathroom and they’re about to take her back to the house, so i was just going to catch a ride with them if you’re going with hoseok. sound good?
You: oh really? i hope she’s okay. make sure she gets water at home. and yes i’ll be fine. we were gonna have one last drink and then go. i’ll text you when i make it to his place
Sana: sounds good. love you!
You slipped your phone back into your pocket after returning the sentiment.
“Everything good?” Hoseok asked.
“Yeah, one of our friends is sick so Sana was just letting me know she was gonna go home with her.”
“Damn,” Hoseok tsked, jokingly. “Does that mean I’m stuck with you for the night?”
“It would seem so.” You smiled, and then he pulled you beneath his arm and adjusted the backwards cap on his head.
“You know, I’m all for just fucking or whatever, but you’re really never gonna say yes to a date, are you?”
You paused before answering, remembering that time last year that he’d asked about actually taking you out to dinner. You had thought about it, but in the end you just decided you had no desire to even slightly pivot in the direction of being any more than friends with benefits with someone. Though, if anyone were able to sway you away from that mindset after Jungkook, it would be Hoseok, but just not yet.
“If I let you take me to Steak n’ Shake after this, will that suffice?” You giggled at the way he rolled his eyes while still smiling.
“I have leftovers in my fridge better than the food from there, so I’ll let you have that.” He paused, a slight glimmer filling his eyes. “Maybe I’ll light a candle, make it romantic, sort of like a date.”
Your skin prickled slightly at the mention of the candle, a call back to one of their more… unconventional hook ups from last year.
“Is candle wax being melted onto my naked body and drunkenness really a good mix?” You asked, even though it had been one of the best feelings you had ever experienced.
“Not that drunk, but it could always wait until the morning.”
You tapped your finger to your lips as if you were pondering it. “Let me get my last drink and I’ll let you know my answer.”
“I have a tab open.” He motioned towards the bar. “Just get it on mine.”
“Thanks,” You said, even though you planned to pay for it yourself. Random guys you didn’t mind hustling a few free drinks from, but not guys you were actually sort of friends with.
You walked up to the bartender. “Vodka Sprite,” You said over the thumping music. He nodded and then stepped to the left and made your drink. He handed it to you as you slipped him your credit card, motioning to close the tab out.
You were already halfway done with sipping on the drink when the bartender returned a slight look of awkwardness on his face. “Uh, it declined.”
Your brows furrowed. Your financial aid refund for school had definitely been deposited into your bank account. You knew this because you had jumped for joy when it hit and you were finally able to return to the sanctuary that is no-ads Hulu. There was enough to cover your dues for staying in the Tri Delt house this semester, so there should certainly have been enough to cover a four dollar drink. You were pondering what to do, maybe just put it on Hoseok’s tab like he said you could. It was probably just your actual bank having issues and it would sort itself out in the morning anyways. You were just about to say to put it on his tab when someone slid their muscled bicep right in front of your face with a credit card in hand.
You knew that it was pathetic that you knew exactly who that bicep belonged to before he even turned to look at your face, black strands of hair hanging over his forehead.
“I got it,” Jungkook said to the bartender.
“Why’d you do that?” You asked.
“Because I was right behind you and heard him, and I know how embarrassed you get about things like that.” He shrugged, grabbing the paper and pen that the bartender slid back towards him.
He was right. You had terrible secondhand embarrassment, let alone actual first hand embarrassment. “Well… thanks. I don’t know why it did that. I got my refund already.”
“Just check your bank account. If the money’s in there then the bank system is probably just fucked up right now.”
“Yeah…” You slid your phone out of your pocket and immediately went to your banking app and pressed your fingerprint down onto the login. You waited a few seconds, and when your balance appeared on the screen, you felt your heart drop. “What in the actual fuck?” You said, staring at your bank account with a whopping dollar and twenty cent in it.
“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, brows furrowed as he rounded to your side to look at your screen to see the low number that was not at all what it was yesterday. “I thought you said you got your refund?”
You were shaking your head. “I… I did. I don’t know what the hell happened. Oh my god, I’m gonna freak the fuck out. I have to pay my housing cost for Tri-Delt with that money. Like what the fuck is going on—”
You felt Jungkook’s on your back, rubbing light circles. “Just breathe.” You stiffened at the touch, but didn’t try to pull away. “It’s probably just a financial aid fuck up. Call them tomorrow. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
You knew that he was probably right, but a creeping feeling was telling you otherwise. This was your fourth year in college dealing with the same exact scholarships every single semester and this had never happened before.
“Fuck.” You brought your hands up to push at either of your temples. “That really just fucked up my whole mood. I’m not even horny anymore—” You cringed, realizing what you just said. “Please, just ignore me I’m drunk.” You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut, not wanting to see the expression he’d made at your admission.
“What’re you doing now? Where’s Sana and Jennie?” He asked, ignoring your flub and finally lowering his hand from your back.
“They’re not here. Jennie left earlier and I told Sana I was gonna go home with… Hoseok, but now I just wanna go lay in bed by myself so I can spiral into every negative possibility of why my bank account looks like that.”
“It’s gonna be fine.” This time he placed his hand on the back of your neck, cupping it slightly. It was a motion that had always for some reason calmed you down when things got overwhelming. It seemed he remembered. But even though you appreciated the comfort, the feeling of his hand there made something in your stomach flutter — that stupid feeling of longing seriously needed it’s wings shredded. You gripped his forearm, pulling it away from you, and you saw something shift in his eyes as you did so.
“I guess I’m gonna go tell Hoseok that I’m just gonna go home—” But then you suddenly remembered something. “Fuck! I can’t Uber because I don’t have any money on my card.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “This day was so bad and then actually pretty good, only to turn out fucking awful.”
There was a couple of seconds of silence between the two of you, but you kept your eyes closed, trying to clear the fog in your head from all the alcohol to figure out what you were going to do. However, Jungkook finally let out a sigh before speaking. “Come on.”
“What?” You asked.
“All of these people are trying to get out of here at once and they’re ordering Uber’s at the same time.” He flashed his phone screen, showing that it was not only almost closing time, but that the next driver wouldn’t be available for thirty-two minutes with everyone having already ordered their rides. “It’s a twenty minute walk back to your house. I’ll just walk you there.”
Even though Jungkook was currently the president of the Lambdas, he actually decided not to live in the frat house this year and instead opted for a cheaper apartment that was still near campus. You and Jungkook both relied on scholarships to pay for most of your schooling, and fraternity and sorority dues on their own were not cheap, and living on Greek Drive only made that burden a million times worse.
But the point was that Jungkook had no need to go to campus because he lived in a completely different direction now.
“You don’t even live there anymore. How’re you gonna get home?” You asked.
“I’ll just sleep on the couch and get Tae or Jimin to drive me to my place in the morning.” He shrugged.
You weren’t exactly keen on the idea of having to walk all the way back to campus with Jungkook, considering just a five minute car ride earlier in the day had been sufficiently awkward all on its own. But you also were unfortunately no longer in the mood for sex, leaving Hoseok’s house out of the picture, and your bank account was for some reason drained, which resulted in you only having one option really.
“Alright,” You finally said. “Just let me tell Hoseok and then we can go.”
He nodded as you walked back towards the group of soccer players, tapping Hoseok on the shoulder. It seemed your dismay was painted plainly on your face because he immediately asked what was wrong.
“I actually can’t hang out tonight. I just found out my bank account is fucked up and I can’t really think about anything else right now, so I was just gonna head home, but I wanted to let you know. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re fine,” He said, shaking his head. “Do you have a way home then?”
You glanced towards Jungkook, releasing a heavy sigh. “Uhm, yeah, Jungkook was gonna walk me.”
Hoseok’s eyes darted toward where you pointing, narrowing slightly. Most people knew about the feud between the Lambdas and the Tri Delts, which meant most people also knew the details about why there was a feud in the first place.
“Are you sure you’re good with that?” Hoseok asked.
Not really, but a twenty minute walk wasn’t going to kill you. “We’re fine, promise. Actually we’ve been… cordial lately.” You tried to say it like it was actually the truth, but you thought maybe if you spoke it into existence then it would actually come to fruition.
Hoseok tilted his head, giving you a look that said he didn’t really believe you, but regardless he pulled you in for a hug. “Okay, let me know when you get home.”
“I will,” You assured him before waving goodbye and making your way back towards Jungkook.
“Ready,” He huffed, a slight annoyance seeming to coat his words as he pushed himself off of the wall and started towards the entrance.
“Are you really gonna have an attitude?” You asked as you did a little jog to catch up with him. “I would’ve found another way if I knew you were gonna act like an ass.”
“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just tired.” He placed his hand on one of your shoulders, moving you in front of him so the two of you could move through the mass of people more quickly until you were walking through the entrance and down the wooden ramp that connected to the outside deck.
“Then why’d you offer? I could’ve called someone to pick me up.”
“Because,” He paused, motioning towards the crosswalk that already had dozens of drunk college kids filing through it. “I couldn’t just leave you there, and I thought just taking you home would be quicker than you calling people to try and find a ride.”
Ouch. He was just trying to be nice and you were calling him an ass. Heat flushed beneath your skin from embarrassment. “I’m sorry…” You finally said as you made it to the sidewalk and began the straight shot down the main road towards Greek Drive. “Thank you for making sure I got home alright.” You added, avoiding any eye contact and opting to walk a little bit in front of him.
After about five entire minutes of silence you thought to yourself, yeah, this was going pretty much as expected. But you were thankful that at least there wasn’t any hostility. You didn’t want any more arguments like the ones from today. You had seethed at each other after the two of you left President Kwon’s office. Had thrown insults at one another at the meeting between your houses. Like sure, maybe the silence hurt more than it should’ve. The idea that the guy you started dating and fell in love with when you were a junior in high school not even being able to fake a conversation with you for twenty minutes was mildly heartbreaking to say the least. But again, the silence was better than the anger that had fueled most of your interactions since breaking up the summer after starting college.
You had become somewhat content with the lack of speaking. You were still a few steps ahead of Jungkook as he walked behind you, but he suddenly picked up speed and joined you, shoulder skating against yours before he was curving his hand around your waist and nudging you to go to the side of the sidewalk that wasn’t closest to the main road that was currently buzzing with post-bar traffic.
“Wouldn’t want you falling face first into a Camero that someone’s Daddy bought them, Drunkie,” He said, offering a playful smile as he dropped his arm back down to his side.
You were caught so off guard by the positive expression from Jungkook that it took you a second for your head to actually realize what he had even said. You pushed his shoulder. “I’m not even drunk anymore.”
“Well, considering I can literally smell the tequila on you, I’d rather not take any chances of you falling into oncoming traffic.”
“You’re being nice.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Too nice.”
“What?” He chuckled. “I’m just making an effort to try and fix things between us so that the members don’t see us constantly fighting and think it’s okay to do the same.”
Ah, that’s what it was. He didn’t care if you guys actually patched this up, just that it looked like you did.
“Well, we could always pretend to like each other, since the appearance is all that actually matters apparently.” You forced a smile and began walking a little bit faster. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes of being alone with him and his stupid presence that overwhelmed you with thoughts that you wished would just disappear.
“That’s not what I meant,” He said almost immediately, not letting that unbearable plunge into silence return. “I would love it if we could be nice to each other and actually mean it… I just…” He trailed off, seeming to hesitate in whatever he was trying to say.
“Just spit it out.”
There was one more second of a brief pause before he spoke quietly. “I just don’t think that’s ever going to happen, because I know you still blame me for everything.”
You tensed up, still keeping your pace of being slightly ahead of him. You inhaled a deep breath through your mouth before turning to look over your shoulder at him, his eyes already waiting to meet yours.
“I don’t blame you.” You smiled, but with a sad furrowing of your brows. “I… resent you.”
Jungkook’s mouth fell open, his eyes widening in surprise. “I mean, that’s… that’s even worse than blaming me.”
You shook your head. “No, it’s not.”
His expression turned more puzzled. “How is you resenting me better than you blaming me?”
“Because, blame implies that I think it’s your fault… Resentment just means I’m angry and upset, regardless of whether I think you were right or wrong for what happened.” You felt the bridge of your nose begin to tingle with that telltale sign of tears, so you quickly looked forward and urged them to stay hidden until you were at least in the comfort of your own room. “I’m just resentful of the things I now think and feel about myself, but that isn’t your fault. It’s my issue to deal with.” You shrugged.
“What things do you think and feel about yourself?” He asked, and you could tell that he had hurried his pace and was a little closer behind you now.
You closed your eyes, shaking your head. You didn’t want to talk about this. The two of you hadn’t had an in depth conversation like this since you’d first broken up. But things were different now compared to that first conversation. Back then it was raw and fresh, the pain too intense to notice what was growing underneath. Now it was a scar, and you were left with all of the emotions, feelings, and implications of how and why things ended.
“I… I don’t really wanna talk about it honestly.” You said that, but you also wanted Jungkook to understand that you were perfectly aware of how you had acted the past few years. You may have said and acted in ways that seemed bitchy and ridiculous, but it was because of these disgusting emotions that were now plaguing your mind constantly, and maybe it was time he knew. “I kind of wish we had broken up over this giant fight that was about something unfixable. Something where we both clearly did things wrong and we were both through with each other because there was no way either of us were going to change our minds. I think I could’ve dealt with that so much better than what you actually broke up with me for. Which was just the fact that you thought I was...” You trailed off, the word that bombarded your thoughts mercilessly landing on your tongue. “Boring.”
You heard the way his shoes scratched against the concrete at his screeching halt, and he clearly thought that that was going to stop you as well, but you kept going, not actually wanting to hear any response from him. You said your piece and now maybe he would understand. But of course you knew that he wasn’t just going to let it end like that, which was made apparent when you felt him suddenly gripping your arm, trying to get you to slow down for a second.
“I never said or even thought that about you, Y/N, ever.” He tried to pull you to look at him, but you twisted your body and threw a hand over your face to cover your eyes that were already glistening.
“No, stop,” You said firmly, and he ceased with trying to get you to look at him. “I told myself after that night in my room I was never going to let you see me cry over you ever again, and if I look at you right now, I will. I just know I will, so please just stop.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute, leaving just the sound of grasshoppers and the random gust of cars passing by. You thought maybe he would just let it go and you could continue the last few minutes of the walk without speaking, but you had verbalized your thoughts and Jungkook was without a doubt going to respond.
“I know how it’s easy to think that,” He started, his voice a whisper with his hand still wrapped around your arm, as if he was afraid you would bolt down the street without letting him finish if he let you go. “But that’s not why I ended things. You were the first girl I ever actually dated, and when we got here I just started thinking about—”
“—All of your new exciting options.” You cut in, anger flaring before you could stop it.
“Y/N…” He trailed off, squeezing your arm. “That’s not what it was—”
“—No,” You said before he could try and dance his way through some explanation of how he just wanted to go crazy in college without actually saying it out loud. “You don’t have to explain it again. I’d rather you didn’t actually. I remember in excruciating detail the way you explained it that night. I understand, I get it… So, p-please,” Your voice cracked, finally being too overwhelmed by this entire situation. “Let’s just keep walking and not talk about it anymore. Please.”
It turned so quiet I could even hear how hard Jungkook was breathing. It sounded heavy but unnatural, like he was trying to forcibly steady his heartbeat. And after a few seconds you felt him finally drop his hand from your arm and you didn’t wait for him to say a single word before you started down the sidewalk again.
The Tri Delt house was five minutes away, leading to five minutes of complete and utter silence between two people that was so palpable it blocked out the scratching of your shoes as you walked and the rustle of tiny animals running through the trees next to you. It engulfed you in this tunnel of noiselessness.
Eventually you saw the bend at the end of the street where yours and Jungkook’s houses sat next to one another. It was only a little bit away, yet it felt so far. Twenty minutes. All it had taken was twenty minutes of the two of you not partaking in your back and forth hostility from the last few years for you to break down again. It felt pathetic. It was completely pathetic.
You were finally approaching the point where the Tri Delt and Lambda house split into opposite directions. All you had to do was keep walking straight while Jungkook veered to the left and—
You felt the light tug at the belt loop of your jeans, stopping you in place, just like from earlier today after the suspension meeting. You were about to tell him to let you go, when he beat you to the punch.
“You’re not boring, Y/N. You never have been.” He was so close you could feel his breath hitting the back of your head. “It was one of the millions of reasons that I loved you. I just wanted you to know that.”
And then he was gone. The pressure of someone tugging you in place disappearing, leaving you to catch your balance as you finally stood alone. You forced yourself to stare straight ahead as you walked towards your front door, not daring to look at him as he walked to the Lambda house. You shoved your keys inside the lock, forcing it open and then taking the stairs by two’s until you were collapsing in your bed, fingers crushing your pillow as you finally let yourself cry.
——--
A phone was ringing inside of your dreams. It was ringing and ringing and ringing until you realized the sound was coming from some otherworldly place — oh yeah, that would be the current hell that is your life.
You blinked a couple of times, blindly reaching for the source of the noise that was lost somewhere in your bed. You finally felt your hand slide across the leather of your phone case. You brought it up to read the name and you felt your stomach curl.
‘Jungkook the Jackass’ was calling. And if it weren’t for the fact that he was calling you at seven in the morning you probably would’ve just sent him straight to voice mail in order to avoid any further conversations about what transpired last night. But alas, it was seven in the morning and just seemed to be too early of a time for him to be calling about something mundane.
You regretfully lifted the phone to your ear. “Yes?” You grumbled, voice scratchy.
“We have a problem.” No mention of last night. It was just a clear cut declaration that did not sound good.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, sitting up from bed.
“Come outside your house. Now.”
Your eyes widened and you instantly jumped from bed. He sounded urgent enough that you decided your flimsy nighttime apparel was going to have to do. You hurried down the stairs and opened the front door, revealing Jungkook in the front yard staring at something.
“What is it?” You asked, arms crossing over your chest as you tried to hide your bralessness.
Jungkook pressed his lips together as he pointed towards the front of the Tri Delt house. “My idiot Lambda Brothers.”
You followed the direction of his finger, your mouth dropping at the sight before you.
Dozens and dozens and dozens of boxers covering every inch of the first story of the house. You turned towards Jungkook, so angry and anxiety-riddled that someone from administration had already seen this, that you could hardly speak.
“I’m going to murder them,” You finally managed to spit through clenched teeth.
“No,” He started, turning to you, mirroring your own frustration. “I’m going to murder them.”
→ part 02
#bts#jeon jungkook#bts fanfic#bts fanction#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fanfiction#kpop fanfic#bts angst#jungkook angst
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Music to my ears
Music to my ears- 1.7k
Blurb night: (Request: What abt like something in the studio? Like studio sex 🥵 your header inspired me lol)
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Y/n always loved when Harry brought her to the studio with him, seeing her man all in his grove and in his element made her happy. She couldn’t deny how sexy he looked when he was strumming on the guitar or sitting with a clenched jaw, drumming his fingers while tweaking some lyrics to make it perfect.
Harry was all smiles when he heard the studio door open, his beautiful girlfriend making her way into the room holding some water bottles for him and the band, and some nice food- remembering to skip any item with dairy in it since it can clog up his throat with phlegm which wouldn’t be too good while trying to belt out another billboard hit.
“There she is! Hey darlin’” Harry craned his neck to peck her as she walked by, he was seated in a office chair going over some sheet music Mitch had written that belonged to the instrumental section of one of his works in progress and Y/n gave him a good once over decided he looked especially hot in his black slacks and wrinkled rolling stones shirt. “I brought treats! The BLT for Mitch, Cesar salad hold the crotons for Sara with a side of soup, two blueberry muffins and a black tea for Jeff and a sparkling lemon water with a vegan chicken noodle soup for my Harry- with of course- the breads you requested with it my dear.”
Y/n handed out the goodies to the group of artists, giving Harry his food with a kiss on his cheek perching herself on the table in front of him to snag a few bites of his food every so often as she talked with the group listing to some of the music they’d already got down dancing in her spot a little bit enjoying the behind the scenes of his upcoming album. “Sound’s good, I think you got another hit in the makin’ here baby. ‘m proud of yeh bub!” Y/n ran her fingers through Harry’s hair, the man giving her a content coo and grip on her thigh in return rubbing his thumb on the denim covered skin lovingly.
“Thank ya’, couldn’t do it without these guys or you my love. You guys make me great, would be nothin’ without ya’” his sweetness got a chorus of adored ‘awes’ which the slightly arrogant artist bathed in dramatically waving his hands and pretending to be bashful earning him some chuckles from everyone in the room.
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It was nearing 10 in the evening when Mitch finally decided to call it a night, everyone else besides Harry and Y/n had left over the last few hours. Each trickling out with some yawns and good bidding's as they decided to make their way home but Harry was focused on his music, and Y/n knew once he was this much in a grove, he wasn’t going to pack up till he felt it was time. in the meantime Y/n was sprawled out on one of the couches in the room, her left hand absentmindedly running over the suede pushing the material back and fourth in a satisfying pattern while scrolling through her phone texting a few friends and replying to some emails in between playing random games on the device.
Harry was deep into his work, tongue tucked between his teeth while his knee bounced slightly to the melody playing in his head. He was currently trying to put the finishing touches on medicine , a rather proactive song that he was still on the fence about releasing or keeping a concert special. His inspiration behind it was his journey through sexuality, romance and the fast pace lust that he’s experienced as a star during his formative years. Of course his Y/n was a big inspiration on that track, their sexual endeavors prominent in his mind while coming up with the lyrics.
His mind was filled with photographic memories of the times they did various naughty things. The foursome in brazil where they both explored bisexuality, having Harry, Y/n and then another couple join them, the hand full of times they’d had sex in public. In his car, in an alley, in bathroom at the VMA’s. on the roof, in a pool, and even the once Y/n went down on him in his mothers back garden while she ran to the shop. He thought of the sloppy kisses, the spitting, cum eating, rim jobs and pussy eating. It was all so dirty and god he knew this song would drive people mad. So being the cheeky bastard he is, he made two final decisions about the piece of work right then and there.
1- It would be an exclusive concert song
2- He wanted to have some special audio in it
Harry knew the idea was daring, likely to turn heads and cause mothers of concert goers to place a hand over their heart with a raised eyebrow but this was his music and he never had an issue with controversial art.
The man then looked to his side, seeing his love in her natural state. Relaxed, lips slightly pursed with her eyelashes batting every few seconds as she focused on the screen. Somehow even when she was lying in a lazy position, hair in a messy bun with a small stain from her tea on the bottom of her shirt, she still looked insanely beautiful.
“Love?” y/n shifted her eyes towards her boyfriend when she heard the pet name, turning onto her side to give him her full attention. “What’s up, H?” she rested her chin on her fist, blowing a few stray hairs out of her eyes. “How would you feel about helpin’ me out with this song?”
Harry gave her a bit of a suggestive taunt of his brows, the girl tilting her head slightly. “Sure, what do yeh have in mind, bub?” Y/n was quick to her feet walking towards him to peer down at the notebook full of lyrics, yet her attention was soon focused on the sensation of being tugged into his lap and the feeling of a rather firm lump pressing into her bum. Her head turned to look at her now smirking boyfriend, pursing her lips slightly in question. “Well, the songs a bit alt to what I usually write…going to keep it off the album make it exclusive but I think I want some background audio of us…making love princess.”
To be clear, Y/n wasn’t a prude. She wasn’t shy about her sexuality, she actually felt very empowered by how confident she was about her sex life and Harry found it exceptionally sexy to be with a woman who was open and not shy at all about trying new things, and this was definitely a new one for her to consider.
He gave her a moment to mull it over, seeing her head sway slightly while she weighed the offer before she gave a shrug and a nod to her boyfriend. “Sure, why not? Gonna be music layered on it right? So it’s not full blown balls smacking into ass?” her question made the man snort, nodding his head. “Yup, gonna layer the instrumental over it. Hoping to isolate the vocals of the moaning to mesh into the music then my singing. I think it could sound fuckin’ excellent and well I get to fuck yeh, so I think it’s a win win hmm?” his hands migrated to her tits, giving them a firm squeeze as his lips pressed into the back of her neck. His touches achieved his goal of sending a shiver through his girl, her spine tingling and hips starting to squirm as he sponged open mouth kisses from the nape of her neck to each shoulder.
“Yea…yea lets do it.” Her words were breathier, his touch putting her under his spell instantly. Lust hung in the air while he kept his grip on her his free hand used to turn on the mic in the sound booth before starting the recording and pushing them both in the padded room.
“god, you’re a doll lettin’ me fuck yeh for my track. I love you so much baby..” his words were as rushed as his frantic hands tugging their clothes off. Hers were prying the buttons of his trousers undone while he ridded her of her bra and started on her pants their mouths crashing together in a sloppy, needy dirty kiss. One that left the lower half of their faces shiny and their teeth slightly clenched from knocking them together in the heat of their movements.
“I love you more, jesus Haz, please hurry up need you in me.” Y/n worked on shoving her panties to the side, Harry hoisting her leg up to have her angled just right to sink his cock into. These were the moments he praised whoever invented birth control, nothing beats getting to spontaneously fuck his girl without having to worry about finding a condom.
Gasps, moans and whines filled the booth. The pleasured noises bouncing off the foam glued to the walls, the insulation amplifying their noises as Harry pounded himself inside Y/n relentlessly, his cock forcibly spreading her inner walls stimulating the deepest parts of her making her pour out a river of beautiful moans he couldn’t wait to mesh into the song. He did little to contain his own groans, deciding if they were prominent in the recording he’d match them with the bass so the deep tones complimented each other.
“ ‘m gonna cum”
The string of words every guy loves to hear from the woman they are pleasuring, it boosts their ego and gives them an extra shot of stamina to push her over the edge satisfying her fully before he lets himself go.
When the tightening of her cunt gripped onto his cock, sucking him in further happened the best moans of the session were let out. Harmonious perfectly pitched moans spilling from her mouth, his joining hers in a duet soon after as his balls gave everything they had inside of her. the pair were a sticky mess, but it didn’t matter to them they both were still in the orgasmic haze complimented with the rush of voyeurism.
“Jesus baby, I think we just secured a grammy.”
#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles writing#harry styles smut#harry styles blurb#harry styles concept#harry styles x yn#harry styles x reader#harry styles au#harry styles request#harry styles
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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut
-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago
-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday
-neil cicierega real person momence
-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here
-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson
-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that
-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me
-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times
-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album
-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil
-seesaw effect
-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on
-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange
-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like
-"this part sounds pretty cool right"
-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that
-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on
-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time
-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!
-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know
-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro
(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)
-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.
-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised
-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright
-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway
-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation
-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest
-good god that does only make it worse neil
-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever
-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget
-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this
-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one
-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud
-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that
-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop
-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now
-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above
-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.
-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3
-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3
-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that
-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon
-jirls
-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man
-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album
-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care
-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time
-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way
-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird
-iron my life?
-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up
-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least
-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)
-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder
-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega
-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3
-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean
-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about
-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president
-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon
-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album
-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better
-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil
-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it
-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely
-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience
-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.
-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work
-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)
-spinch
-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil
-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!
#lemon demon#spirit phone#pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz#loolin liveblogs#i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had#tis i#i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice#to the world and back again
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tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.
summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo
warnings: cussing. what's new LOL
+ + +
- BACK AGAIN
- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me
- in conclusion i like writing these lol
- okay SO
THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS:::
spideybparker
starbabez
mrose12623
elliedevotee
lilcassipuff
buckybigbutt
THANK U! <3
^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh
- aight
- lets get into it
- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt
- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance
- like it's kinda bad
- oops
- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls
- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"
- THAT ONE
- so naturally
- y'all know where this is going
- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)
- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS
- you start recording
hey whassup shorty
- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE
- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the S E C O N D HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE
- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET
- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE
- huh wHAT NOW
- ????!!!!!!!!!!
- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO
your man around?
- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR
- big "FUCK NO!" energy
- mans practically jumps on top of you
- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused
"what was that?"
- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations
- puppy face is loud n clear!
- babey
- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT
- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die
- as soon as he realizes he just melts
- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter
"you can't do that!"
- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES
- sexc
- okay this one is another fake phone call
- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation
- in this one you two are over 18 btw
- for ~legal reasons~
- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over
- he's too busy watching b99
- naturally
hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results
- WHAT
- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE
- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)
- 🅱eter literally yells
"WHAT"
- audio keeps going
is there a time next week you could come in and talk?
"y/n what"
- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok
- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you
"you had me there for a second"
- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then
- wink wink
- k SO
- queso
- haha
- anyways
- y'all know that one sound
pussy so good i could save that shit for later
- welcome to straight tiktok!
- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do
- on ur phones and shit
- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights
- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe
- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo
- anyways they're currently blue so like
- innocent
- chill
- but THEN
- the audio starts playing from peter's phone
pussy so good-
- you gAsp as the lights turn red
- ur like
- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that
- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)
- his mouth is practically ON your ear
- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh
- but DAMN
his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear
- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS
- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)
- moving on
- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend
- but time to turn the tables
- oh how the turn tables
- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!
- hell yea!
- so it's late right
- like late late
- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)
- and ur hella bored
- on tiktok
- the fuck else do you expect?
- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die
- i KNOW i am not the only one
- so that happens
- and you're like FUCK IT
- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door
- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker
- you just fucking stroll in
- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"
- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH
- so you set up the camera and start recording
- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused
- and
- (HERE WE GO)
- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT
- but you walk over to him
- wrap a hand around his neck
- tilt your head and lean down
- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD
- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT
- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT
- he fucking REELS back
- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him
- sdfjksdkfjsdfg
- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA
- you're like fuck! so you turn to start r u n n i n g a w a y
- but then his hands wrap around your waist
- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed
- and he kisses you
- mwah ha ha haaaaaa
- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it
- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired
- NEXTTTTTTT
- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday
- well
- ha
- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~
- chilling at headquarters
- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored
- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"
- okay!
- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO
- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered
- next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy)
- you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away
- next clip it's right before your bday
- and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!"
- and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera
- PERIOD
- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried
- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself
- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk
- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE
- but it's cute so
- fuck it
- y'all know it
i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe
- mischievous as ✨hell✨
- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one
- anyways!
- you and peter are chilling
- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD
- he's watching netflix or something idk
- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry
- yell at me if u want but
- it's riverdale for vsco girls
- you set up the camera and start recording
- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH
- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics
- but the THING IS (pt 1)
- homeboy catches on pretty quick
- and
- fuck
- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK
- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe
- but the THING IS (pt 2)
- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT
- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN
- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS
- kinda hot doe
- something for u to think about at night
:)
- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments
- thanks past me
- SO
- hmm lemme think
- okay
- so
- okay yes
- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff
- like very generic white boy look at me doing things
- and it's very impressive
- but
- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS
- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM
- i'm just gonna write some examples
- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult
- oh well
- here we go:
- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat
- wait okay irrelevant
- for real this time here we go:
you ate that 💕🧚♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚♀️✨
omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚♀️💕✨🦋
a necklace 💕✨🧚♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌
- and so on
- lets just say when peter saw those
- his face got SO RED
- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF
- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM
"y/n what is this"
"uh fairy comments"
"but they're so-"
- you just stare at him and like
- shrug
- but knowingly
- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE
- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains
- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance
- so this time
- we doing the savage dance
- first of all that song is a BANGER
- second, the dance is SO FUN
- so it's the same thing as last time
- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky
- and then u start doing the dance of course
- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt
- clapping along and smiling and whooping
- supportive bby
- but THEN
- YOU THROW IT BACK
- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING
- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER
- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !
- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁
- lol
- anyways
- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards
- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because
- we like being legal 😌✋
- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked
- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment
- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH
"y/n? i'm home babe"
- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy
- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you
- nearly drops his fucking mask
- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder
- hehe
- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER
here it be::
https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333
god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything
- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter
- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect
- that's it lol
- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter
- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested
- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol
- ANYWAYS
- peace out homies i love each and every one of you
- be kind to urself and try to be productive
- i'm gonna go try and write some more so
- yes
- MWAH <3
+ + +
hi i hope you guys are doing well
ily
#peter parker#tom holland#peter parker imagines#marvel#mcu#spiderman#peter parker x reader#spiderman x reader#fanfic#fluff#writing#peter#parker#thomas holland
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Here’s my first impressions.
Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying.
OH NO. They really started it like this. I’m shivering in bed rn. It’s haunting and beautiful and too short. Is that marching?? That’s marching, are they going to war now omg hold on—
[I didn’t include the audio for Wonderland because I hit the limit and ALSO you should go stream it on the KQ channel instead ;) hehe]
The transition into this was spectacular. The marching just became the beat wooooah! HONGJOONG AHJFKSL YES that’s how you start a song. Seonghwa and Yunho, beautiful. Wooyoung!! sounds amazing!! Seonghwa’s low voice o I was not prepared. San helloooo I love the instrumentation at this part. Jongho, as expected with the high note. Oh OH KAJA!! oooooohhhhh man the chorus goes hard I can’t wait to see the choreo. The production on this is spectacular. FiX oN MiNgiiiiii go off oml 🔥 YEOSANG 👏🏻 GET 👏🏻 THOSE 👏🏻 LINES 👏🏻 this is a head banging song I’m head banging rn. The way they bring it back right before the chorus *chef’s kiss* This is overwhelming man. Jongho with the bridge yussss he and San sound amazing. Wait they were right it is like Hala Hala they added both parts of the chorus together!! It’s almost over isn’t it. Yeah it’s over. Ok I need to breathe,,,
It’s starting kinda like a sad song this isn’t a sad song is it?? SANIIIIEEE! Aw this is cute I like it. Hongjoooooooong! I love this rap it reminds me of something. Ooh prechorus?? It’s so pretty oh No here’s the chorus— oh EDM?!!? OKAY!! Wait do I bop or cry 🙊omg Yeosang!!!! oh my baby you sound amazing. Harmonies 😭 harmonies omg there are harmonies... Mingi! He didn’t say fix on :(( short but slick rap as always. I’m still trying to figure out what they’re saying in this chorus I don’t wanna blast it too loud everyone else is asleep I think... hhhhhh!! Mingi and Hongjoong SINGING IN THE BRIDGE holy cow im gonna lose it they sound beautiful YES THANK U THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. Wowwwww high note 🙌There’s something really really nostalgic about this song,, I am undone. The harmonies omg I can’t take this it’s like they know how much I love harmonies, unfair.
OMG— throwback???????? This sounds so 80s YEEEESSSS ! San!! New beginning fairy?? He sounds heavenly I can’t. Mingi, he’s singing again I can’t stop smiling this is my new fave thing. This prechorus, idk what to say it’s amazing. WOOYOUNG JUNG WOOYOUNG NO NO NO NO HES SINGING THE CHORUS AFHSJLSLE Jongho ur vocals are sweet honey please have mercy it’s only like the 4th song and I’m crying already. Hongjoong my boy, this style of rap holy cow. Did someone tell him this is my fave style of rap, because— oh, he’s still going?? Ah this is going on repeat the rest of today 🥰 Yeosang I couldn’t be happier you sound gorgeous and Yunho woah their voices match well. WOOYOUNG AGAIN!! This part was made for him it has to be. JONGHO! SO PLEASE!! This bridge I’m just a mess of tears now they are really singing their hearts out. Is it too early to have a favourite?
Ugh all these songs are ending so abruptly I’m never ready for the next one. Oh I’ve heard his.. aHA AHAAAAA I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT this is from the teasers. I had the teasers on repeat this bgm alone is. so. cool. Yes the Mingi rap aaaaaaaaahdhsjkdflsl but we can hear it this time lol. woah it’s not over yet. The beginning of Treasure! Hongjoong singing the beginning of Treasure again but different lyrics?? I need to look them up later oh what if it’s like they found their treasure,, no I can’t take it where are the tissues the ending is so sad whyyyyuyyy
Yay there is already a fun flavour in this song! Hongjoong your voice is so rich in the low register daaaaang I need more of this. Seonghwa is that you? I feel like I haven’t heard his voice since Wonderland I’m sorry seonghwa my bff I’m getting whiplash trying to hear everyone’s parts but you killed it. These lyrics!! This is a hype song fs. THE BEAT DROP AAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAH!! “Ayyy we are gonna win” YES YOU ARE BOYS! Oh shoot I said that out loud I hope no one heard. Okay yes this is my new hype song no one is allowed to be discouraged listening to this. Oop “aha” Hongjoong hakdlaplajql I squealed again. Aw the rap verses were short but still slayed. This song is so fast I can’t keep up but I love it I am feeling this. The low voices and then the beat drop I can’t FUNCTION THIS IS SPECTACULAR !!!!! You are gonna wiiiiiin. This reminds me of Pirate King the altered voice and then adding a harmony the second time, anyone feel me? Mingi singing in the bridge again yes I love this. Ooo EDM break aaaahhah go crazy go stupidddd! I want a choreo for this, I need a choreo for this. Woah the instrumental is very unusual here. And it ended like that with the piano, deconstructing the elements of the song. Oh I need a second listen for musical reasons but we gotta move on.
This album is moving way too quickly we’re halfway done ripppp. I love the instrumental here it’s super slick. I’m already enjoying this very much. Oh high notes San!! Vocal line has popped off, exceeds expectations 100% Aww hi Mingi. Ah thank God the chorus is sweet and full of riffs wowowow this is a sharp contrast from last song. YEOSANG!!! My heart jumps every time I hear him, you don’t know how hard I prayed for him to have more lines. Hongjoong! What are these voices in the background?. Adorable, this is adorable aaaaahaha!! Oh it’s “we are one, we stay one” that they spoiled in ANEWZ I seeeee. This chorus ugh this whole song I love I just have the biggest smile on my face while also sobbing yall don’t understand. The bridge ahh idek what to say I’m so happy with this. You boys make me so proud I hope you know that 😭 !! The voices are back! This is literally so cute hELP
Here comes THANK U I’m not ready ok deep breaths. Whaaaa? I’ve never been more caught off guard in my life that guitar... Yeehaw? Is this a yeehaw song what-? Hongjoong’s singing wait I have to go back I missed it. His voice I— digging my grave. Wait why does this sound lowkey country ohhh dear say sike ah no alright the CHORUS mmm I knew it would be a feel good song. That echoing thing after the chorus is cool. Mingiiii! Did he not say fix on again?? This rap is too cute noooooo oml why Mingi why my jaw is on the floor I can’t believe he’s capable of this.. Ok I like it I’ve decided I like this. I was surprised at first bc I’m not a country fan and it sounded like it was about to be a country song 😂 but this is a bop!! “Gomawo” 😭 no gomawo yourself. Thank you for being on my side 🥺 It’s a hands clapping song. Yes Jongho go off!!! Oh I just gasped the biggest gasp the ending riff was beautiful
Sunrise. Okay deep breaths. I’m gonna just listen and try to not think about the fact Hongjoong cried writing this song. Let’s go. .... oh. OH. Oh it’s soft. I’m soft 🥺 ahhh man they sound so good. This— the background music... it’s doing me in. Aww Mingi. Ahh no this sounds sad whyyy I’m afraid to see the lyrics dangit. (0:41) I just dropped my phone. K that scared me but the lyrics just shot me in the heart. !!!!! I gasped again and now I’m coughing hang on I gotta pause. Just keep it up... boys you outdid yourselves. This GUITAR HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKERS ITS AMAZING. *stomp stomp clap* Hongjoong hiiiii wow this rap right here, I only caught half the lyrics but I know exactly what he is saying ah man. We’ve added instruments in the back. Oh Jongho that was such a clear note the vowel was perfect there. This chorus I can’t. Yeah ok I’m crying again something about the guitar I . Cant type. Oh man. Oh OH OH the bridge the BRIDGE THE BRIDGE everything the vocals the background music. Okay here’s our real stomp stomp clap moment. Ah ok wiping the tears now. They sound great. Hongjoong aaaahh what a way to end the song.
That was an experience I hope I get to breathe during this but I already know I won’t. Um.. it’s piano... for like a solid 20 seconds and it’s slightly jazzy are we getting a ballad?? Our first real ballad!! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Seonghwa yessss 🥰 Oh you guys I’ve wanted to hear a ballad from him for so long you don’t even know. Wait everyone sounds so perfect I can’t even describe this. Yunho baby yesss your voice. Wooyoung oml SAN ahhh San your transitions are stunning. Jongho our ballad king it’s like he’s barely even trying and it sounds amazing. Lovely lovely lovely. Mingiiiii he’s singing yet again. Hongjoong too!! Yes oh yes this is it. Their voices all being showcased so perfectly. I’m amazed how well they can all fit this style just as well as they can fit a song like Win. I have one criticism only so far and yall already know what it is. Yeosang still could’ve gotten more lines in this one :_( This is the last song before Beginning of the End oh no. Nooooo I don’t want it to be over. Oh? OH? Yeosang! Yeosangggggg!! Omg I have goosebumps he said NO IM TAKING OVER it’s MY SONG NOW! Wow amazing. The structure of this has been so so interesting I’m definitely going back to analyse. No it’s over...
I’m scared. I’m crying again noo it hasn’t even started jeez pull yourself together. Ok but before I start I really don’t want it to be over and not in a way that implies I want more songs just thinking about how... this is Ep Fin right? The end. Obviously not of ATEEZ (God forbid) it’s only been a year and they’re slaying it I mean absolutely knocking it out of the park each Ep bigger and bolder than the last, they aren’t afraid to try things and when they do they hit the nail on the head. But still this is the end of an era, a storyline too if I’m correct. And it’s just a surreal experience to see it come to a close. ATEEZ, I don’t know where you’re taking us next but I trust you guys and I know it’s going to be amazing.
Ok anyway let’s start the song 🤣 crackling noise? Fire? Ok it’s orchestral. VERY orchestral. “Open your eyes” I felt that San. They were open but I just opened them again. This orchestra is really really moving and cinematic I love it. I see what this is, we’re going Intro: Long Journey except Outro version which is fuller, richer, even more epic and emotional. Oh boy I’m really crying now. Idek what to say again I’m speechless. Oh it swells just like Intro!! Is it the end? Woah???????? What is this? .....SAN?? Wait wait wait it’s over? Like that? No hang on. Waaaait what was that? Seriously that was very strange. I’m not imagining things am I? No does this have something to do with upcoming albums? I’m so confused 😭 it sounded rly cool and spooky whatever it was. Well. Okay! Yeah I guess that’s it. That was the last straw. I should really try to go back to sleep I only have a few hours till I have to get up. But now I’m probably going to go write something, that music was really inspiring. Yeah I think I said what I wanted to honestly! Again I just want to reiterate how proud I am, and remind you to go stream!!!!
KAJAAAAA!
#i queued this because i wanted to sleep on it and then proofread lol#thanks for reading if you got this far#reblog and tell me your thoughts#i’m interested!#ateez#ateez wonderland#ateez all to action#all to action#ateez comeback#first impressions#music#analysis but not really#mostly screaming and crying#tokki needs sleep#tokki writes at night#tokki.txt
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11/08/2018 DAB Transcript
Ezekiel 18:1-19:14, Hebrews 9:1-10, Psalms 106:32-48, Proverbs 27:10
Today is November 8th. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian. It is a pleasure and an honor, as always, to be in your presence. And it's quite an honor that together no matter where we are in the world, as separated by geography as we might be, we are all in the presence of the Lord. So, what's not to look forward to about that. It is a great to be here with you today as we take the next step forward in our journey through the Scriptures. And we’re reading from the Names of God Bible this week. Ezekiel chapter 18 verse 1 through 19, verse 14 today.
Commentary:
Okay. As we continue to move through books of prophecy like Jeremiah, like Ezekiel that we’re reading right now, we can find ourselves…we can find ourselves like bogged down in page after page of like impending destruction. And after a while we might notice that this is subtly shifting our focus toward the heart of God. We might begin to unfairly consider Him furious, like and vengeful toward people, which is where this idea of an angry God comes from. But we need to remember something. The prophets were foretelling an outcome that hadn't happened. And although very difficult times were experienced, they could've been avoided. And God spoke about this in Ezekiel today. God said, I don't want we could people to die. I want them to turn from their evil ways and live. That's different than a God who will smite the earth and everyone upon it. So, the prophets weren’t sent by God and their writings weren’t preserved simply to reveal that God woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to destroy people. Instead God explained carefully why things were going sideways, why things were spinning out of control, why things were headed in a spiral downward. And this usually boiled down to covenant breaking. And, so, we were talking about a covenant yesterday when we talked about the book of Hebrews. So, the idea of covenant is in no way a foreign concept in the Bible. In fact, it's like ubiquitous, but it's not so different for us now. Well you think…that's…that's way back then…but we still enter into covenants today. We may call them agreements. We might call them a contract, but when we sign them we warrant and covenant about what we’re agreeing to, right? And when we sign it, it’s binding. But an actual true covenant goes deeper than the paper that was printed on. Like, if we were to break the covenant of marriage by committing adultery the onslaught of pain and destruction and scorched-earth that would follow would not be God's fault. Like, no matter how we try to frame Him for it, it would not be God's fault. We will reap what we sow. And the prophets spoke to people who had some wickedness, like wickedness that God says they were doing things that never even entered His mind. So, they had sown wickedness for generations. And, so, they were about to reap the results. So, I mean, as we’ve seen so many times as we move through the Bible this year, the people of God continually broke the covenant and the prophets served as an advanced warning. Like instead of like announcers of doom. Like these dark, mysterious, weird, long-haired, dirty robed figures who come in out of the desert saying bad things are going to happen. Instead of that, they were actually God being long-suffering. Like, He didn't have to warn anybody about anything. The covenant was entered into. And if the covenant was broken then the curses of the covenant were to come upon the person who broke the covenant. That’s how covenants work. Just like the example we used about adultery, like, that's how it works. I didn't have to send any prophets to say, hey, this isn’t gonna work out, you’re going in the wrong direction. So, fundamentally, the messages that the prophets came with has an arc to it. It’s basically God saying, listen we had an agreement and we entered into a covenant and you're breaking the covenant. And, so, the curses of the covenant are coming upon you and because you're breaking the covenant your separating yourself from me. And that's going to lead you into all kinds of trouble if you keep going in that direction. But even if that's what you choose to do, even if that's what happens, and we are estranged, I will not forget you. There will be another side to this and on the other side of this I’ll still be waiting for you to come back to me and there will come a day and all will be restored again. But, I mean, rather than me putting this into my own words, we can hear the words from God Himself. And I quote from Ezekiel 18. Change the way you think and act. Turn away from all the rebellious things that you have done so that you will not fall into sin. Stop all the rebellious things that you are doing. Get yourselves new hearts and new spirits. Why do you want to die? I don't want anyone to die declares Adonai Yahweh. Change the way you think and act. So, it should be crystal clear. It wasn't people God wanted to destroy, it was wickedness that he wanted to eradicate. And anything that would seduce God's people into wickedness and deception was also going to be something that was going to entice them to break the covenant. And, so, the passage that we’re reading clearly gives us language for God's heart in the prophetic books as well as his posture toward humanity. So, we talked about this lots of times as we’ve made this journey this year. The choices we make are going to eventually add up to our destiny. That's how it works friends. And we’re gonna either remain in a covenantal relationship with God or we’re not. God's heart toward us is that we will live, and He has certainly remained faithful to us. And if we want the benefits of the covenant, which pretty much encompasses everything we believe as Christians, then we’re also going to have to be faithful. It just doesn't work any other way, right? I mean you can't just step out on your spouse anytime you want and it's all good. Even if you were to make that kind of agreement with your spouse, even if you were to agree that this was okay it will deteriorate, it is going to fall apart, the bonds of the covenant are broken. And, so, whatever it is that you end up having, it will be something substandard something sub what God intended for marriage, right? We know this, and yet we seem to ignore this with God. If we’re not going to be faithful, then it's not going to work. There are terms and we have to respond. We can navigate our lives into a full-blown mess. We can certainly walk directly into destruction, but we cannot blame God for it. But as God invited us from the book of Ezekiel, we certainly can repent. We certainly can change our minds. We certainly can get new hearts and new spirits in us, we can come running home. The choice is ours.
Song:
Brent Bourgeois - Come Home to Me.
Lyrics
Neither man nor a woman
Not a white guy with a black beard
Not a pop star in satin suit
Neither speck of dust nor big galoot
Not a weatherman to stop the rain
Not responsible for sinners' pain
Simply I am and I'll be
Here to set you free
Don't believe what You’ve heard
Just read the Word
And come home to Me
Come home to Me, Come home to Me
Come home to Me, Come home to Me
And I'll offer you Heaven at the end of the world
No Santa Claus for Jesus freaks
No political evangelist
No wizard with a magic wand
Neither black nor brown nor stunning blonde
Not for Romeos in hot Pursuit
No dispenser of the Fountain of Youth
Simply I am and I'll be
Here to set you free
Don’t believe what you've heard
Just read the Word
And come home to Me
Come home to Me (You know I will be waiting)
Come home to Me (With arms open wide) -
Come home to Me (You know I will be waiting)
Come home to Me (Come be by My side) -
Come home to Me (You know I will be waiting)
Come home to Me (with arms open wide)
And I'll hold you like a mother holds her child
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Like the River Flows (McHanzo)
Click to Read on Ao3!
Summary: Unable to sleep on a quiet night at the Watchpoint, Hanzo goes out to train. But on his way there, he hears someone singing along to an old love song.
Partially inspired by the prompts for Day 1 (Day || Night) and Day 3 (Undercover || Downtime) of McHanzo Week, but also inspired by Elvis music because I am a sucker for classic love songs.
During missions, the Watchpoint was fairly quiet. Two teams were currently dispatched, leaving less than half of the newly formed Overwatch at the main base. Hanzo padded through the base, his hands stuffed in the pockets of an oversized black hoodie. He hadn’t been able to sleep tonight: perhaps a result of the eerie silence that filled the Watchpoint now that Lucio and Hana weren’t there to fill the halls with the sound of music and gaming. Those once annoying sounds had become white noise over time to the point of being somewhat comforting.
He considered getting in some training since target practice would at least give him something to do if he couldn’t sleep. The reunion with his brother had been difficult on him, and practicing with his bow tended to be good stress relief. But as he padded through the hall on his way to the exit, he heard the soft sound of unfamiliar music. There were two voices: one filtered as if played through a very old device, and one clear and honeyed, sung by a smooth baritone. Curious, Hanzo crept closer to the source of the music. He could see a light coming from the kitchen, and the sound seemed to grow louder. Hanzo reached towards the bow at his back before moving to peek into the room.
Even though his back faced the entrance, Hanzo could recognize the bulky form of Jesse McCree. He wasn’t wearing his signature hat, but he was wearing a flannel shirt over a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was pulled back into a knobby ponytail at the nape of his neck, and he swayed slightly with the music. Hanzo suspected he was cooking something in a pan with a spatula based on the soft scraping and sizzling noises masked by the cowboy’s singing. Hanzo dropped the arm that was reaching for his bow and listened, leaning casually against the wall that opened up into the kitchen.
McCree continued to sing, unaware of his visitor. At one point in the song, he messed up the words but recovered quickly with a slight chuckle to himself. Hanzo simply watched and listened, feeling strangely comforted by this scene. The song, although clearly very old based on the imperfect audio recording, was beautiful and unlike anything he had heard before. But McCree sang it so much better. His hips swayed slightly back and forth as if he were dancing with an invisible partner. It was far different from what he had expected from the cowboy: no western twang or nonsensical country lyrics. The song seemed to be about being in love in its purest form.
When the song wound to a close, Hanzo cleared his throat to signal his presence. McCree jumped slightly at the noise, his hand twitching towards his hip as he spun around. The gunslinger sighed in relief when he spotted Hanzo leaning against the entrance, and stopped the music. “Jesus, Hanzo. Nearly gave me a heart attack. What’re you doing up so late?”
“I could not sleep,” Hanzo responded. “I was going to do a bit of training when I heard a noise in here. Why are you awake at this hour, McCree?”
McCree let out a small laugh. He turned back to turn off the stove, setting down his spatula. “Reckon we’re in the same boat. I couldn’t sleep either. Decided to make myself something to eat. Want some eggs? I made plenty.”
“I don’t want to impose,” Hanzo started. McCree took that as a yes, however, and filled two plates with scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese. He placed both plates on the small kitchen table and gestured to Hanzo to join him. The archer sighed and relented, placing his bow on the table and sitting down in front of the second plate. “Were you planning to eat all of this alone?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the size of the two portions.
“Maybe I knew someone would come along to join me tonight,” McCree drawled coyly, taking a large bite of the eggs. He swallowed gracelessly and looked off towards the now empty pan. “Or maybe I grossly underestimated how much I had made. Pick your poison.”
Hanzo breathed out a laugh, taking a bite from his own plate. “This is surprisingly good,” Hanzo responded, following up with another bite.
“Surprisingly? Gee, thanks,” McCree responded sarcastically. “Can’t say it’s that easy to screw up scrambled eggs though.”
“The green peppers are a nice touch,” Hanzo reassured.
“You’re being awful generous with your compliments today,” McCree smiled, scooping a large bite of eggs onto his fork. “It’s a bit weird, but can’t say I mind it. What’s the occasion for such kindness from the stone-cold Shimada?”
“Perhaps it’s sleep deprivation,” Hanzo responded between bites.
“Probably,” McCree responded, his mouth stuffed with food. He swallowed, setting his fork down and leaning forward towards Hanzo with his elbows perched on the table. “So, why’d you come to the kitchen anyway if you were gonna go to the practice range? This ain’t exactly on the way there.”
Hanzo swallowed his own bite before answering, “I heard a couple voices. You were singing quite loudly.”
“That loud, huh?” McCree laughed, running his non-metallic hand through the hair that wasn’t pulled back. “What’d ya think? Did I do The King justice?”
Hanzo wrinkled his nose at McCree’s statement. “The King?”
McCree laughed, tilting backwards and lifting the front two chair legs off the ground. “You’ve never heard of The King? Elvis Presley? He’s a real old singer. Over 100 years old! They called him the King of Rock back in his day. Can’t say he’s my favorite singer, but he’s got a coupla good love songs.”
Hanzo nodded, returning to his eggs. He held his fork but didn’t eat, instead letting the music he had heard before replay in his head. The soft crackle of the recording, the heartfelt lyrics that he could only sparsely remember, the smooth sound of McCree’s voice…
“Can you play another song by this Elvis Presley?”
McCree laughed, a deep, rich laugh that filled the space. “Sure thing. I think I have just the one. But on one condition.”
“What is that?” Hanzo asked, a sharp, dark eyebrow arching upward.
McCree pushed himself up out of his chair and extended his hand to Hanzo, “Share a dance with me?”
Hanzo looked at the hand, then back at McCree’s face. Hanzo wasn’t sure what to think of the request. McCree didn’t seem to be using it as a joke. He almost looked flustered despite his regular oozing confidence.
It might have been the promise of more music or Hanzo’s untapped tiredness. Or maybe even the way McCree stood expectantly with dark, messy hair framing his unusually sheepish face. But Hanzo reached out his arm to take McCree’s hand, softly responding, “Very well, cowboy.”
McCree flashed a confident smile and helped Hanzo situate his hands before reaching over to start the music from his phone. When the piano started playing, McCree started moving with Hanzo. It wasn’t exactly dancing so much as slow swaying. Hanzo listened intently to the song and let McCree lead his movements. They hardly moved their feet, instead swaying in the small open space between the table and the stove. To Hanzo, the song was about love despite barriers. Their eyes were locked together, unwavering even as McCree sang along to the chorus under his breath: a whispered declaration that only Hanzo could hear.
The song ended much sooner than Hanzo was expecting. They practically stopped mid-sway, hands still clasped together. They looked at each other, not wavering even though the room was now quiet.
Then, they moved.
Hanzo’s hands found McCree’s face while McCree’s hands tangled into Hanzo’s hair. Their lips crashed together recklessly, without any regard for technique. There was only insatiable hunger for just that fleeting moment before they broke apart, breathing heavily against each other. Hanzo leaned forward, resting his head against McCree’s chest before whispering, “Do you have any more songs like these?”
“Yeah, darlin,” McCree whispered back, letting his hands slide down to Hanzo’s face. He cupped the archer’s cheeks and pulled him in for a soft, gentle kiss. “Dozens.”
Hanzo smiled genuinely, pushing strands of hair out of McCree’s eyes. “Good thing we have all night then.”
The song Jesse sings at the beginning is "Love Me Tender", and the song they danced to is "I Can't Help Falling in Love".
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Damaged Goods - Part 2
Hello everyone! After almost sic months, this is part two to Damaged Goods. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think of it, my lovely readers! :)
4,2k words.
Warning: contains smut*
*And for the smut I apologize. First time writing it, so sorry if it’s lame.
‘Can I stay tonight?’ he asked with a deep voice and you felt goosebumps rise all over your skin. You both knew he didn’t have to ask for permission to stay. He has already stayed at your place multiple times; when you were watching movies until very late and he was too sleepy to drive. He stayed to make sure you were fine when you were sick or came back after a girls night out with your best friends. He stayed after a phone call from you in the middle of the night when you woke up from a terrible nightmare. But this time, this question was different. His eyes were dark and you were positive he was up to something.
‘Of course… You can always stay here, Harry, you don’t need to ask.’ you answered and kissed his chest through the fabric of his plain white t-shirt.
‘Yeh know.. I have an idea.’ he said taking off his t-shirt. Seeing your confused face, he continued. ‘Yeh said yeh don’t feel comfortable with your uncovered body, so I’m thinking, would yeh feel better if I were naked, too?’ while speaking, he didn’t stop stripping his clothes off until he stood in front of you almost naked, only in his Calvin Klein black boxers.
‘This is crazy, you know that?’ you said chuckling with disbelief, trying to cover your stomach with your arms.
‘I am crazy. F’you.’ he said giving you a quick peck on your lips. He took both his and your clothes from the floor and headed towards the door. ‘’m hungry. Want some pasta?’ he asked on his way out.
You faced the mirror and looked at your face. It was still covered with mascara residue so you took care of it with a cotton ball soaked with makeup remover. You splashed your face with cold water and wiped it with a soft towel. You sighed deeply and sat down on the edge of a bathtub. You felt like Harry was up to something but he obviously wouldn’t tell you that. You knew that sparkle in his eyes. You’ve seen it a couple of times already, usually after a very snugly make out session on his couch, just before you pushed him away and left his apartment in panic. The excruciating fear of being hurt again, blocked you completely every time Harry wanted more. Anytime he managed to touch your bare skin under your clothes, you could remember how your ex boyfriend humiliated you whenever he got you naked.
You took a deep breath, trying to push all the bad memories away. You knew Harry was different. He deserved more. He deserved everything you could give him.
You left the bathroom, tip toeing to the kitchen. Now you realised how long it took you in the bathroom - a pleasant smell of Bolognese sauce filled the room. Harry liked to cook with loud music on - he plugged his iPhone to the speakers and put your iTunes playlist on shuffle. Sweet Child O’Mine was pumping loudly from the speakers and Harry was singing along. He rarely did this but he knew how much you like to hear his voice in a rockier version. He didn’t notice you entering the kitchen, as he was preoccupied with filling up a pot with water. His face was focused, eyebrows furrowed. Once he lifted the pot full of water, his muscles tensed and the outline of this trained body was more visible. You bit your lip as it was the first time when you saw Harry almost completely naked. It was the first time you saw all of his tattoos. That sight pleased you very much. You stared at him, forgetting you were wearing just black lace underwear.
‘Here yeh are, pet’ he smiled widely when he turned into your direction and finally saw you.
‘Don’t stop singing, Harry’ you said and sat down on a barstool just in front of him, on the other side of a counter.
‘Oooooh, sweet child o’mineeee!’ he sang, pretending to play the guitar solo.
You supported your head on your fists and observed him. He loved to perform. Either on a stage in front of thousands of people or in your tiny kitchen. This boy was born to entertain people, you were quite sure of that.
Sweet Child O’Mine came to an end and the next song chosen by Harry was Little Things. It surprised you because he never chose to play One Direction songs. And the song choice made you wonder even more.
He cleared his throat during the instrumental and started singing with Zayn on the recorded audio:
Your hand fits in mine
Like it’s made just for me
But bear this in mind
It was meant to be
And I’m joining up the dots
With the freckles on your cheeks
And it all makes sense to me
When you heard his voice, you smiled. It was so soothing and calming as always. He was chopping fresh pineapple, your favourite fruit, but he glanced at you every couple of seconds. Now he continued along with Liam:
I know you’ve never loved
The crinkles by your eyes
When you smile
You’ve never loved
Your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back
At the bottom of your spine
But I’ll love them endlessly
During chorus he closed his eyes and got carried away completely.
I won’t let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if I do
It’s you
Oh it’s you
They add up to you
I’m in love with you
And all these little things
During Louis’ part, the tension was building up. He put the knife away and not losing eye contact with you, he walked around the counter and stood up in front of you, turning you around on the barstool. He licked his fingers off from the pineapple juice, missing some words. He put his warm hands on your thighs, touching them gently.
You can't go to bed
Without a cup of tea
And maybe that’s the reason
That you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations
Are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
Still not breaking the eye contact with you, he sang the following parts.
I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape
You never want to know how much you weigh
You still loathe to squeeze into your jeans
But you’re perfect to me
I won’t let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
But if it’s true
It’s you
It’s you
They add up to
I’m in love with you
And all these little things
And then there was Niall’s part and in a second you reminded what were the lyrics. You felt a sudden rush of blood to your head and the whole world around you started spinning slightly.
You’ll never love yourself
Half as much as I love you
You’ll never treat yourself right darlin’
But I want you to
If I let you know
I’m here for you
Maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you
Ooh
Your heart was beating fast and tears of affection formed up in your eyes. You put your arms around his neck and brought him closer to you. He put his forehead to yours and continued to sing his part:
I’ve just let these little things
Slip out of my mouth
'cause it’s you
Oh it’s you
It’s you
They add up to
And I’m in love with you
And all these little things
You couldn’t wait any longer. You crashed your lips against his and you conjoined in a passionate kiss. His lips were soft and warm, and tasted like sweet pineapple.
When he moved back, he wiped your tears away.
‘Wha’s wrong, love?’ he asked concerned.
‘It was a really good performance, Harry. I really enjoyed that.’ you said. He took air in, wanting to say something but you continued. ‘You better watch that sauce on the stove…’.
He returned to the pot and you stood up to prepare the table. Your thoughts were confused as you had no idea how to interpret his performance. Neither of you said the L word, but you were quite sure that the feelings you’ve had for him could be called love. You felt uncomfortable when he wasn’t around but once he was next to you, you were the calmest person in the world. You felt butterflies in your stomach whenever someone mentioned him, his warm chest echoing the sound of his beating heart was your favourite place to fall asleep.
But could that be true? Should you interpret this as he meant it? Is Harry in love with you?
You sat down to a quiet dinner. Harry went on about what he was doing the whole day. You weren’t quite talkative but you listened carefully to what he was saying. He easily noticed when you were in that kind of mood where you weren’t able to talk much. Then he took over control and took that pressure off of you.
After the dinner you moved to the couch to watch some TV. Harry sat down, resting his long legs on the coffee table, letting you lay down on his lap. His hand automatically went to caress your hair. He was browsing through the channels to find something funny to watch but you paid no attention to what was on the screen. You were thinking of that song, you were thinking of the words, you were trying to figure out what was on his mind. You were thinking, if he sang that song just because or if it was his way of telling you he loves you? You were terrified to ask because if you over interpreted his agenda, then you wouldn’t bear being hurt again.
‘Harry? Can you be the big spoon for a moment? I’m getting cold.’ you said looking up at him.
‘Sure…’ you switched positions and he wrapped his warm arm around you. The warmth of his body relaxed you as your thoughts were a mess.
After a while you forgot you were completely naked but Harry didn’t. Your female parts were only covered by black lace underwear and he really tried his best to contain himself. But then, he moved his hand on your body, giving you clear hints what was on his mind. He softly started to kiss your neck, nibbling on your earlobe. You knew what was coming. Another panic attack and Harry’s disappointment. You disengaged from his body and quickly escaped to the bathroom hearing his sigh.
You were standing under the shower, hot water streaming down your body. You’ve panicked again and some alone time in a steamy shower was the only thing that could calm your wrecked nerves again. You knew this would eventually happen but you were blindly fooling yourself that Harry will never want to make you do that or will wait until you’re ready. But you were happy with the current state of things. You could always count on him in times of need, even when he was touring he would always figure out how to make you feel better.
Obviously you fancied his body, you craved his touch and wanted you be kissed by him in your most private places but your previous relationship made it terribly hard for you to completely give in again.
‘Darling?’ you’ve heard Harry’s voice in the bathroom.
‘Yes?’ you looked around afraid of him seeing you but there was so much steam that the shower walls were completely blurry.
‘Jus’ wanted to say m‘sorry, pet, didn’t want to make yeh feel uncomfortable.’ he said, remorse in his voice was painfully audible.
‘I know Harry… ‘ you answered and took a deep breath.
‘Do it… do it now… He wants this… And you want this too.’ you thought. The struggle in your head made you feel a bit dizzy as you were torn between wanting him badly and being too scared.
‘Harry?’ you asked quietly.
‘Yes, pet?’ he answered.
‘Can you come inside? Can you join me?’ your voice was shaking when you verbalised your request.
‘ y’sure?’ he asked.
‘Yes.’ you answered firmly.
A few seconds passed and he entered the shower completely naked. You involuntarily glanced at the lower part of his body and seeing how well equipped he is, a little smirk appeared in the corner of your mouth.
‘I have eyes up here, love.’ he said smirking.
‘Sorry.’ you said blushing.
He moved closer until he could wrap his arms around you. His skin was cold and it nicely contrasted when your warmed up breasts met with his cold chest. He held you close, kissing the top of your head.
‘I wanna kiss your body, I wanna lick your pussy and then I want to fuck this little cunt until you scream my name and beg me to stop… But m’gonna wait. As long as it takes, because I know you’re worth it.’ he said quietly to your ear, almost whispering. You’ve never heard him dirty talk and you were quite sure the wetness between your legs wasn’t caused only by the shower.
‘Thank you… It really means a lot.’ you said and kissed his collarbone.
‘It’s okay, little girl. You need to be protected. And you’re safe with me.’ he kissed your forehead. You snuggled into his arms and he pulled you in close. The moment was very intimate; you felt like your relationship with Harry reached another level. The fact that you took off your clothes in front of him was a milestone for you but his declaration from earlier, made your heart swell.
He reached for your favourite flowery shower gel. ‘Can I…?’ he asked, pouring a fair amount of the gel on his hand. You nodded but your heart jumped to your throat. No one besides your previous boyfriend ever touched you like that. You were scared and petrified. But it’s Harry, your Harry, you thought, he could never hurt you.
His touch was gentle and delicate. He started with your arms, shoulders and then moved down his hands to your breasts. He hesitated for a moment and moved his hands further, covering your whole body with soap. Very proud of his achievement, he massaged your scalp with shampoo, making even more foam.
‘Yeh look like a lil’ snowman’ he chuckled and kissed your lips.
‘I do not!’ you laughed and stepped under the stream of water.
‘Nooooo, yeh destroyed m’work of art!’ he pouted but you felt his eyes staring at you.
‘Shhh... ‘ you grabbed his cheeks and kissed him.
‘Fair enough… But next time yeh gonna pay f’this.’ he said with a warning tone. He pulled you in, your bodies touching one another. You put your arms around his neck, what made you stand on your toes. His hands wandered on your wet back, when they reached their final destination - your bum. He placed both of his hands on your butt cheeks and squeezed them lightly. A quiet sigh left your lips right into his ear.
You left the shower, wrapped yourself with a towel and started brushing your teeth. Harry followed you a few moments later. His spare toothbrush was placed right next to yours. He grabbed it and stood right next to you also in a towel. You examined the reflection of his chest in the mirror. You looked at every tattoo on his body and wondered about the history behind it.
‘A butterfly? Really?’ you asked with a chuckle when you rinsed the inside of your mouth.
‘Yeah, and I love it.’ he smiled proud, his mouth still full of toothpaste.
‘Idiot’ you shook your head with a smile and left the bathroom.
You entered your closet and searched for fresh laundry. You were specifically looking for a Harry’s t-shirt. You loved wearing them, they felt so comfortable and although you washed it multiple times, you could still feel his scent on them. You put on his Hot n’ hard t-shirt and matched it with black panties. The t-shirt was long enough to cover your bum so you felt like there was no need to put on shorts.
‘Yeh have that t-shirt! Thought it was Niall who took it from me and he didn’t want to admit that he misses me this much. Hmm.’ he grabbed a fresh pair of boxers from the laundry box and dropped the towel right in front of you.
His cock beautiful. Suddenly, you felt the urge to touch it, to make him feel good, to make him moan your name, to make it up to him. He noticed you were staring, again. You turned away embarrassed, and went to bed quickly.
‘I bought new candles today, wanna try them out?’ he asked, trying to change the subject.
‘Yeah, why not.’ you answered and waited for him to set up the candles around your bedroom.
‘Vanilla snowflake, tha’ should be nice.’ he said and laid down next to you.
When you looked at him, he was laying on his left side, supporting his head with his left arm bent in the elbow. He was looking at you like you were some holy figure, a soft smile curved his lips showing his dimples. He reached his hand to your thigh and touched it. He caressed it, gently moving his thumb over your stretch marks covering the skin on your thigh. Again, you felt uncomfortable and Harry sensed it immediately.
‘Shh… Relax. I just want to give you some sweet cuddles…’ he said, laying kisses along your thigh.
‘Then kiss me.’ you said missing his warm lips badly.
He didn’t have to be told twice. He kneeled between your legs and supporting himself on his arms, he hovered over you. His endearing smile melted your heart. You could never resist to that angelic face, those cute dimples. You cupped his face and moved it to your lips. You felt a soft peck on your mouth, but he didn’t move away. Instead, he took your lower lip and started sucking on it. Automatically, your hands went to grab and touch his muscled back. When a quiet sigh left your half opened lips, Harry forced his tongue into your mouth. But you didn’t resist even a second. You joined him in the most passionate kiss you’ve ever shared with anyone. It was so deep, you started losing your breath. You pushed him away lightly so he moved his lips over your jaw to your neck. You took in a deep breath, feeling soft sucking and nibbling on your neck. He touched your thighs and moved his hands up across your hips, to your waist. He wanted to kiss down your neck and move his hands upwards, but the t-shirt you were wearing seemed too much of an obstacle for him. When he pushed back, he looked at your tiny posture just in front of him and he noticed that the KISS t-shirt was soaking wet at the front because of your wet hair. The t-shirt was white which made your nipples visible.
‘Fuuuuuuck…’ he said wiping his face.
‘What’s the matter, Harry?’ you asked concerned. He took a deep breath and took his time to answer.
‘Why are yeh so incredibly hot?’ he asked with a bit of anger in his voice. His face was tensed and you could see a pinch of pain in it too. ‘You’re making it impossible to stop…’ he sighed.
‘Then don’t.’ your heart was pounding in your chest. His face immediately relaxed. ‘I’m scared like hell but I want you Harry. Very much. I need you.’ you said and touched his face with a trembling hand.
‘Are you sure?’ he double-checked.
‘Yes, I am.’
He helped you take off the t-shirt and he froze still, capturing your body.
‘Don’t look at my stomach, please.’ you said covering it with your hands.
‘Stop, it’s beautiful.’ he took your hands away and started kissing it.
He touched your chilled skin from the wet t-shirt and reached for the breasts. His touch was very delicate and warm. You relaxed immediately and forgot about everything when you felt his lips lowering to your entrance.
‘M’gonna make yeh feel good, promise.’ he said hooking his fingers on your panties. He took them off and threw them to the floor. He parted your thighs and looking straight into your eyes he licked his thumb and put it to your clit. ‘You’re so wet fo’ me already…’ he sighed and started rubbing his thumb faster. You bit your lower lip and gulped for air when his thumb started moving frantically. When you felt it was close, Harry ceased any movement. He looked at you, cherishing the way you looked. He pushed two fingers inside you, making you squirm under his touch. He moved his fingers easily thanks to the wetness coming out of you. You heard him pant heavily, right before you heard his voice.
‘I need to taste yeh... ‘ he pulled out the fingers, licked them and buried his mouth between your legs.
You felt his warm tongue enter you and then it licking all the way up to your clit. He sucked on it, licked circles, adding his fingers inside you. You grabbed his still wet hair and pulled them hard as the pleasure overwhelmed you. You arched your back letting out loud moans of pleasure. Pleasure so strong it made your body tremble.
When he finally moved his face away, you were breathing heavily.
‘So that’s what an orgasm feels like…’ you said sighing deeply.
‘I barely even started with yeh.’ he answered with a chuckle and a smug smile appeared on Harry’s face.
He leaned over you and started kissing you again. You forced him to roll over his back and you straddled him and pulled him in to embrace you. He kissed your neck again, touched your breasts and sucked on your nipples. You tossed your head back and feeling his bulge between your legs, you started moving your hips. He immediately let out a sigh of pleasure.
‘Yeh are so damn beautiful…’ he said laying you down on your back again.
‘Don’t forget about protection, it’s in the drawer.’ you gasped out as he touched your entrance again.
He put the condom on skilfully and pressed his body to yours. He touched your face, kissed your lips and pressing his forehead to yours, he asked:
‘Yeh ready, darling?’
‘Yes.’ you answered, feeling a ticklish feeling at the bottom of your belly.
He slowly entered himself inside of you, checking your reaction. He asked if everything is okay and if he can continue. The burning feeling of him stretching you out made you feel a little uncomfortable for a moment, but once he started to move his hips, the feeling went away. You wrapped your legs around his waist and put your hands to his back. He panted heavily to your ear, exhaling his hot breath against your skin. He stopped for a moment, tightening his eyelids.
‘Yeh so tight ‘round m’cock… Doing me too much good... ‘ he took a moment to calm himself down and then continued once again. He moved steadily, slowly increasing the tempo. ‘Come on, ‘lil girl… Come for meh…’ when you heard his low, raspy voice, you felt tingling in your belly. The tension was building up and you felt it was close.
‘I’m coming…’ you whispered into his ear.
‘Louder baby, wanna hear yeh…’ he said pounding into you fast.
‘I’m coming! Oh Harry!’ you moaned arching your back and curling your toes as the orgasm spread through your body. Your muscles tightened around him and you heard his groans of pleasure.
He sank into your arms, both of you panting heavily. You kissed his cheek and buried your hand in his curls. You both enjoyed the intimacy of the moment, eyes closed, limbs entwined together. Harry put a blanket over your bodies to prevent you from getting cold.
‘Thank you for trusting me.’ he said, looking into your eyes. You were laying on your sides, staring into each other’s eyes.
‘Thank you for taking care of me…’ you said. ‘I was so terrified because my previous… Intercourses weren’t enjoyable at all. But you changed it. You changed everything… You turned my world upside down.’ you said, caressing his cheek and ear.
‘Pleasure is mine.’ he replied with a smile pulling you in closer.
You felt so peaceful and relaxed. The room was dark but the few candles that Harry lit up earlier. You could feel his hand gently touching your skin all over your body. You were almost asleep when you heard his voice again.
‘Yeh know… Tha’ lil’ performance of mine from earlier… I meant it… I mean… I sang straight from m’heart… I love yeh…’he confessed, looking straight into your sleepy eyes. His thumb was stroking your cheek as he waited for any reply.
‘I love you too, Harry.’ you answered without hesitation, but you weren’t quite sure if this was happening for real or if it was just another dream.
You hid your face in his chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. For the first time in your life you felt safe... and loved.
Did yeh like it, pet?
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[HR] We should have never created holograms of dead musicians.
According to a contract I signed in the year 2012, everything you are about to hear is completely prohibited. As an ex-editor for a well-known special effects studio, I would like to remain anonymous. That is why you may notice I refrain from using people’s names or places where “The Incidents” took place, for the sake of keeping my identity hidden. I am taking a huge risk here leaking this information online, but the public deserves to know. We are unwittingly crossing into territory never meant for the living, and messing with forces that we don’t yet understand. All for the sake of entertainment. We should have left well enough alone. What’s dead, should stay dead. As many of you may remember fans and attendance witnessed a surprise performance by none other than Tupac Shakur. The long-dead legendary rapper blew fans minds with his lifelike appearance. Its interactions with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg almost seemed too real to be just a hologram. Long-time fans had tears in their eyes as if they relived their earlier years in the 90s. Through the miracle of technology, we were able to bring back the voice and embodiment of a musician who hasn’t been alive since 1996. People were blown away by the performance and thanks to media coverage and social media, word of Holographic Performances spread like a wildfire. Soon enough, “An old Dirty Bastard” from the Wu-Tang Clan appeared on the stage in New York, almost a decade after his death. A year later Michal Jackson moonwalked across the stage at the Billboard music awards. None of us will ever forget when Prince appeared during the super bowl halftime show. It wouldn’t be long before the first hologram musical would go on tour. That being said, these performances received mixed reviews by both fans and critics alike. Although the sound quality and visual effects were impressive, some people reported a strange feeling they had while watching the hologram, some felt a strong feeling of discomfort and couldn’t exactly explain why. Some researchers have come out and tried to explain that this is due to a phenomenon that is known as the “Uncanny Valley”. The Uncanny Valley is a theory that hypothesizes there is a relationship with how human something can act and our reaction to that object. For example, when we see something that strongly resembles a human but is slightly off, we are repulsed by it, and for some, the illusions of these holograms trigger these same feelings. I am here to tell you today, that there is so much more to these feelings that science can't even begin to explain.
At the time I worked for Digital Domain, the special effects production company behind the Tupac Shakur hologram. During early tests and reviews, things seemed pretty normal. It was after that one night weeks before Coachella where things took a strange and unsettling turn. Myself, as well as the rest of the editing crew, were working late to fix a few subtle glitches in the images. During our last review, we caught a few frames where the hologram's eyes moved in different directions and split frames where his lips didn’t match up with thy lyrics. None of us thought anything of it and were working late to make sure it was lifelike as possible for the big stage. After the first few attempts things got even stranger. At one point in the middle of “Keep Ya Head Up”, the hologram stopped dead in its tracks. It stood there ridged, eyes facing forward with a forlorn look on its face. Some began to search furiously to find out what frame we were stuck on but my eyes never left the Hologram. Then seemingly out of nowhere his lips began to move. I got out of my seat and leaned in close to try to make out what words the lips were forming. Then to my absolute horror, two holes appeared in the holograms chest, then one in the arm and another in the thigh. I fell back into my chair as the appearance of blood began to seep from the wounds. The holograms face never changed. Then for the first time since its lips began to move one word came through our speakers, “Mama”? The hologram's eyes than rolled back and the mouth opened wide and then just like that, it stopped. The image of Tupac went back to his performance and the lyrics of the song continued. The bleeding bullet holes were gone. There were many reactions from the crew that night. Some claimed they didn’t see it, others claimed they saw the bullet holes but didn’t hear the words, and others outright claimed it was nothing more than a glitch. One thing was for certain though, the show must go on. Days after the incident, I went back through every single frame and couldn’t find a single one that showed me the image I saw that night. There was no way that what we saw that night was a simple glitch. What are the odds that an image would appear in the exact same manner the rapper was left after being gunned down 23 years ago? Although soon after the incident, every single member of the crew was approached by studio executives who strong-armed us into signing a non-disclosure agreement that prevented us from ever talking about “The Incident”. Rumors spread fast through the special effects studios. I have heard from an Ex-soundman who helped work on the Roy Orbison, and Buddy Holly Hologram tour, that his department also had their own incident. During the test performance, Buddy Holly's hologram also froze partway through “Rave On”, leaving the hologram crouched over with his head between his knees and his hands over his head. He also claimed that he heard the words “We’re going down, we’re going down” were repeated by the hologram over and over again with his tone growing more and more frantic. Then just like that, it continued to perform just the way it did before. The studios head CEO assumed this was a prank made by the editing crew made in poor taste at the deceased musician's expense. Buddy Holly as some of you may not know was the victim of a plane crash in 1959. Everyone in the editing department was fired without further investigation or notice and were also made to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Not much later I caught wind of rumors of a severe incident during the makings of the Michael Jackson performance. Many of you may not know that originally before the Michael Jackson hologram appeared briefly on the stage during the Billboard music awards, our studio was tasked with the editing of what was supposed to be an entire concert of some Micheal Jackson greatest hits. After this particular incident the whole project was scrapped, save the frames later on salvaged for his performance of “Slave to the Rhythm” later on that year. Here were the details of the incident as follows. During the editing of Michal Jackson's song “Smooth Criminal,” the hologram began acting erratically. Sometimes portions of the holograms body like his legs and torso would freeze as if stuck in place while the rest of its body continued to move unnaturally. Soon they began to notice they could hear strange whispers over the original audio of the song in Jackson's voice. No one could understand the words as they almost sounded like they were being spoken backward like a voice recording being played in reverse. Then a power surge caused the entire studio to blackout, every single light and computer monitor screen went dark and the speakers went silent. Then to everyone's shock, the hologram kept moving. Its limbs began to bend at unnatural angles the facial expressions began to change between looks of abject horror, anguish, amusement, sadness, and anger. Some witnesses said they began to smell sulfur in the air. Others claim the smell was more like rotten meat. Some witnesses began to hear whispers in many voices around them. Sometimes behind them. Sometimes in front of them. Sometimes they sounded as if they were being whispered right into their ears. The hologram began to bleed from its eyes, ears, and mouth and its eyes somehow seemed to look into the eyes of the witnesses all at once. Its mouth began to open impossibly wide as a desperate wail erupted from its holographic vocal cords. The hologram than vanished as the recording of the evil laugh from Jackson's music video for “Thriller” boomed from the speakers. After this incident non-disclosures and hush money were not even needed. The few witnesses all recessed into different states of silence. The least extreme case being driven into insanity. The most extreme case being suicide. The higher-ups in the studio expressed that the results were caused due to the extreme pressure the staff was working under and the unfortunate negative effects flashing lights in the studio had on the human mind. The only reason I found out about this incident myself was that one of my co-workers who I will not name was asked by one of the witnesses to scrub some of the audio to see what he could make of it. After listening briefly to the strange words being spoken by the hologram, he then played it in reverse to find the words that were being spoken backward in Jackson's voice. In an almost robotic monotone, his words were clear, “Can you feel them? Can you smell them? Can you hear them? They are close. They are near.” Then after a long pause. “They… are… here.” Before he was able to share these findings with the witness, he found out that the same man's mind had recessed back into a blank state, that was said to have been caused by a nervous breakdown soon after the incident. Although not soon afterward I was laid off due to our special effects production company filing for bankruptcy after some “copyright lawsuits.” Part of me was relieved when I received the news, knowing that the tampering with the unknown that was causing these incidents would finally stop. Sadly, as the popularity of Holographic Performances continues to grow, nothing will stop these companies from “Digging up the dead” and disturbing the likes of whatever abysmal beings tend to the souls of the deceased. Who will be next? David Bowie? Freddy Mercury? Kurt Cobain? I don’t know exactly how it happened, perhaps the likeness of the musicians bore so much resemblance to their counterparts that their disembodied spirit was able to temporarily speak through their image. Or perhaps whatever unearthly beings who were tasked to tend to the souls of the dead suspected a resurrection and attempted to break into our realm to claim it back. Whatever it is, our human brains cannot comprehend it, it drives men mad from the briefest exposure. I even find myself falling into depression and anxiety, self-medicating so that I may temporarily forget about what I saw that night in the studio. What if the next incident occurred in a stadium or a concert hall in front of hundreds of people? The effects would be catastrophic. There is nothing I can do about it except warn you. Please, if you value your life and your sanity, never attend a holographic concert. Remember the artists for who they were in life, and let them rest in peace. Let them live on through our hearts and their music, not through some perverse reincarnation made with technology. Let what is dead, stay dead.
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Made the most of the beautiful weather this weekend and went for a lovely walk early on Sunday morning. A few miles and several steps covered, I also cleared 40% of an audiobook so it is all good. Productive day for me then. Whoop whoop.
So – how has your week been? I’ve had a bit of an emotional one again this week unfortunately. Took my little kitty to the vets as he’s been under the weather and we’ve been monitoring him for the week. Sadly, this time he hd lost more weight and the vet felt a mass in his intestinal tract which doesn’t look good. He’s on steroids to manage his condition and hopefully improve his feeding but we both know it is simply a matter of time before I have to say goodbye to Mars too. I am trying to psyche myself up for it, but I have to be honest, as nice as the gesture was, it didn’t help that the same evening I came home to a card from the Vets with their best wishes after the loss of Kaycee the other week. Can anyone guess who was an emotional blubbering mess? No? That would be me. Again.
I did manage to complete two of my three online courses, which sounds like far more of an achievement than it actually is, but hey. I now have certificates. Go me, lol.
Taking my mind off things, I had a meeting in Crawley on Thursday so I took the opportunity for a quick stop off in the city the night before to attend the launch of Roxanne Bouchard’s wonderfully lyrical crime thriller, We Were The Salt of the Sea. The event was hosted by the Canadian Embassy, the venue and the evening amazing, and a big thanks to Karen Sullivan for the invitation. Certainly a very memorable event with brilliant readings by translator David Warriner (in English) and Roxanne herself (in French) which made the night perfect. Might have picked myself up a sneaky signed copy of the book too, courtesy of the lovely Karen again. The dedication is in French but I have just about enough knowledge of the language to translate. It was lovely to meet both Roxanne and David and their respective partners, and to see a number of my good blogging pals too.
You know my theory that book post is like buses? Well – proven again this week. While I was away I received three letters/parcels. The first was a book-plate for The Craftsman by Sharon Bolton. If I hadn’t been expecting it then it would have been quite unnerving lol. The second was a copy of Her Name Was Rose by Claire Allan from Avon Books. The third was something pretty special – a finished copy of The Ice Swimmer by Kjell Ola Dahl where I am quoted on the cover!!! My first (and probably only) time as a cover girl. I will treasure this for sure. Might even have to get it signed by the man himself as a super special copy.
Saturday saw me attending the blogger author meet up in Stoke organise by Stephanie Lawrence and Kerry Parsons. It was fab to catch up with some old friends and make some new ones. I am crap with pictures so there is no evidence to be found on this blog, but if you search about you may find some in existence elsewhere.
I’m probably a very naughty bunny – depending on your perspective – but I did go onto Netgalley again this week, In my defence, I had to as I needed books for blog tours … I just might have strayed and requested a couple more while I was there. Whoops. I picked up The Date by Louise Jensen, Follow Me Home by DK Hood, The Puppet Show by MW Craven and Strangers on a Bridge by Louise Mangos. I also received an advance copy of After He’s Gone from author Jane Issac, the first in a brand new series which I am really looking forward to tucking into soon.
Purchase wise – not so well behaved I’m afraid. I made a few pre-orders (as you do) and picked up a couple of bargains too. As well as preordering Follow Me Home, The Puppet Show and Strangers on a Bridge, I picked up Dead Blind by Rebecca Bradley; The Adulterer’s Wife by Leigh Russell; The Dying Place by Luca Veste; The Promise by Katerina Diamond; Dark Winter and Original Skin by David Mark. No audio books, the then I think I have enough to be going on with, don’t you?
Books I have read
Absolution – Paul Hardisty
Sequel to the critically acclaimed The Abrupt Physics of Dying, The Evolution of Fear and Reconciliation for the Dead. Claymore Straker returns in another gripping, page-turning, socially conscious thriller, with more at stake than ever…
It is 1997, eight months since vigilante justice-seeker Claymore Straker fled South Africa after his explosive testimony to Desmond Tutu’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission. In Paris, Rania LaTour, journalist, comes home to find that her son and her husband, a celebrated human rights lawyer, have disappeared. On an isolated island off the coast of East Africa, the family that Clay has befriended is murdered as he watches.
So begins the fourth instalment in the Claymore Straker series, a breakneck journey through the darkest reaches of the human soul, as Clay and Rania fight to uncover the mystery behind the disappearances and murders, and find those responsible.
Events lead them both inexorably to Egypt, where an act of the most shocking terrorist brutality will reveal not only why those they loved were sacrificed, but how they were both, indirectly, responsible. Relentlessly pursued by those who want them dead, they must work together to uncover the truth, and to find a way to survive in a world gone crazy. At times brutal, often lyrical, but always gripping, Absolutionis a thriller that will leave you breathless and questioning the very basis of how we live and why we love.
The final Claymore Straker novel but by god what a hard hitting, emotional read, full of social conscience and a clear passion for his subject. Paul Hardisty takes us on a roller coaster rise as Straker seeks to reunite himself with Rania, possibly the only woman he has ever loved. Full of action, tension and subterfuge this book has many facets, covering environmental and humanitarian issues whilst providing a compelling story told in such beautifully crafted language. Action with a heart. Loved it. It’s available now in e-book or from 30th May in paperback so you can pick up or preorder a copy here.
…
The Reckoning – Yrsa Sigurdardottir
A chilling note predicting the deaths of six people is found in a school’s time capsule, ten years after it was buried. But surely, if a thirteen-year-old wrote it, it can’t be a real threat…
Detective Huldar suspects he’s been given the investigation simply to keep him away from real police work. He turns to psychologist Freyja to help understand the child who hid the message. Soon, however, they find themselves at the heart of another shocking case.
For the discovery of the letter coincides with a string of macabre events: body parts found in a garden, followed by the murder of the man who owned the house. His initials are BT, one of the names on the note.
Huldar and Freyja must race to identify the writer, the victims and the murderer, before the rest of the targets are killed…
The best thing about long drives down to London are the hours of audio book I can consume while travelling. I devoured the previous book in the Freyja and Huldar series and couldn’t wait to read this one. I was not disappointed. A dark central story and a very chilling aspect to this novel as a whole, not just its setting, but by god was it a good read/listen. You can pick up a copy here and I’ll be sharing my review soon.
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Summer at the Little Cottage on the Hill – Emma Davies
Take an endless stroll through wild meadows and breathe in the sweet aroma of flowers in full bloom. The first ever guest at the little cottage on the hill is looking for an escape, but her past is not far behind her…
Thirty-two-year-old ‘ice queen’ Isobel slams the cottage door and pulls the curtains shut. She has just six weeks to practise for a secret project that could save her career and no one must know she is here.
When Tom, the local thatcher with eyes as blue and deep as the ocean, hears the sound of her violin on the breeze he feels a tug at his heart-strings that reminds him of happier times. Who is this mysterious new lodger, and why does she look so familiar?
Desperate to find out more, Tom is devastated when Isobel refuses to enjoy everything the farm has to offer. He won’t give in, but just when it looks like Isobel is coming out of her shell, someone recognises her and the troubles from her past threaten to take away everything she has been working towards.
Will the lessons Isobel learned at the little cottage help her to stand up and face the music? Will Tom ever find a way to unlock the emotion she needs to move on?
After all the darkness I needed a little time in the light. And it doesn’t come much lighter and brighter than summer days in the beautiful gardens of Joy’s Acre, in my home county of Shropshire, the setting for Emma Davies’ Little Cottage on the Hill series. More romance, friendship and feel good story telling and a set of recipes and delicious sounding dishes to get your mouth watering. I’ll be sharing my review soon but you can pre order a copy here.
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Thirteen – Steve Cavanagh
THE SERIAL KILLER ISN’T ON TRIAL.
HE’S ON THE JURY…
‘To your knowledge, is there anything that would preclude you from serving on this jury?’
Murder wasn’t the hard part. It was just the start of the game.
Joshua Kane has been preparing for this moment his whole life. He’s done it before. But this is the big one.
This is the murder trial of the century. And Kane has killed to get the best seat in the house.
But there’s someone on his tail. Someone who suspects that the killer isn’t the man on trial.
Kane knows time is running out – he just needs to get to the conviction without being discovered.
I have been intrigued by the sound of this book since I first heard about it late last year. I’ve had it on preorder since before christmas and it was one of my most anticipated reads of 2018. I will admit – this was my first time in the witness box with good old Eddie Flynn but it will not be the last. Dark, twisted and ingenious, I loved this serial killer thriller with a twist. I’ll be sharing my review in a couple of weeks as part of the tour but you can order your own copy here.
…
Four. Been better been worse. I am also slotting in short stories from the Ten Year Stretch anthology too along the way, so it’s not all bad really. Busy week on the blog – highlights below.
Dead Blind by Rebecca Bradley
Ten Year Stretch Part 2: Ten Years of CrimeFest.
The Retreat by Mark Edwards
Book Love: Sandra Danby
Summer at the Comfort Food Cafe by Debbie Johnson
The Louisiana Republic by Maxim Jakubowski
Ten Year Stretch Part 3: Ten Years of CrimeFest
The week ahead is a little slower. I’ve a few blog tours lined up and perhaps a couple of reviews if I get a chance to type them up but my main focus (other than the cat) will be attending CrimeFest in Bristol from Thursday. Really looking forward to it. Be prepared for much tweetage as a result.
Blog tours are for The Old You by Louise Voss, Fault Lines by Doug Johnstone, Dying Truth by Angela Marsons and Freefall by Adam Hamdy.
Hope you have a fabulous week all. I’m not sure if I’ll be back with a post next Monday – it really depends on how I feel after CrimeFest lol. We will know by this time next week if I am funny though so that will be nice.
Enjoy your week,
Jen
Rewind, recap: Weekly update w/e 13/05/18 Made the most of the beautiful weather this weekend and went for a lovely walk early on Sunday morning.
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Before the Streetlights - somethingreal. EP + Interview
Before the Streetlights’ new EP somethingreal. is here… and it kind of changes everything!
1. Homesick
2. Houses
3. Forget You
4. Anchored And Torn
5. Deadweight
The Louisville, KY band has released their newest album somethingreal. Tyler Courtney (singer/songwriter), Josh Courtney (bass/programming), Tyler Pritchett (guitar/programming), and Zachary Schindler (percussion) have constructed 5 tracks with lyrics that are exceptionally florid and music that alone is moving. Their profound writing style is crucial to take note of. somethingreal. has undertones of questioning your life and embodies taking yourself from the mess of reality. There is immense creativity shown throughout and I can honestly say it is unlike any EP I’ve heard recently. The more you listen to it, the more brilliant it becomes.
I was lucky enough to receive a physical copy of somethingreal. The packaging is very sleek, and the outer sleeve slides off to reveal an overcast ocean/beachy setting; which is a running theme for the photo book (an important component to the album). You should experience this for yourselves, but what I will say is that it is designed to transport you somewhere. It unquestionably achieves that.
somethingreal. starts off with “Homesick”, and it quickly builds toward a strong introduction. Well-written with clear vocals that make this instantly gripping. Being in a low state generated by searching for and wanting a place with consistency and stability. “Homesick” is the type of song that you fall in love with; purely because it’s a deeply relatable concept surrounded by an upbeat melody. Did I passionately sing along? Uh, yeah. I found this to be the EP’s earworm.
“Houses” exudes a mirthless vibe, while allowing the presence of a stormy heaviness. There’s this idea that a home isn’t plainly the structure; it is what’s inside that counts. “Houses” represents the outer shell without having the comforting aspects. You may also feel a vast sense of dissatisfaction and tiring disappointment expressed effortlessly through each element. “Houses” is intense and packed tightly with raw emotion. I recommend paying close attention to the lyrics here; gives a greater understanding of what is being conveyed on the EP.
Switching to an intoxicating part of somethingreal., the title “Forget You” speaks for itself in that it emphasizes desperately trying to no longer remember haunting memories. A rather personal song that’ll surely resonate with many. I believe Josh Courtney’s answers in the interview below will give you an insight as to what the intent behind “Forget You” was. Leaning towards the rock side of Before the Streetlights, I was particularly impressed by the instrumentals.
After every rock track, it’s nice to slow it down a bit. That’s where “Anchored And Torn” comes in. Relatively laid back, it is sort of this slightly acoustic pop song with a complex message. It touches upon faith and restriction while reaching for freedom. I was pretty invested in “Anchored And Torn”, which isn’t surprising considering the way it draws you in and washes over.
The EP comes to an end with “Deadweight”. Full of catchy sounds and lines that’ll replay in your head for a while. The most prominent, “when love turns to hate you become deadweight”. A more straightforward track with an unexpected twist. I don’t want to spoil it for you… but wow. Gave me chills. The positioning of all 5 songs perfectly align to tell a rollercoaster of a story.
I asked Before the Streetlights a few questions about somethingreal. (answered by Josh Courtney):
The physical somethingreal. EP contains a photo book that you say is a main component of listening to the album. Why/how did you decide to include this?
The photos were taken by one of my good friends Kate Neal who did all of our previous album 'Westward' photos and artwork. We wanted to connect you to a world where the songs can make sense. I believe that music is a visual experience as much as it is a sonic experience. We always try to create an atmosphere with your music. So when we saw the photos for the album we knew that they, on their own, expressed the same feeling that we wanted to portray with the songs. The pictures connected with each individual song perfectly so we knew right then that we had to highlight that in some way. We made a cardboard sleeve for the album and put all relevant album info on that as well as blacking out the innermost two pages to put liners and such because we wanted the photos to speak for themselves and didn't want any writing to cover up the worlds. When you look at the photos I want you to be able to visualize yourself there doing whatever you want to be doing and the songs be the background music. It's in a way therapeutic because takes some sense of clearing your mind to be able to accomplish.
Can you explain the process of bringing these almost esoteric songs to life?
When our singer Tyler went out to Los Angeles to write for the album with our friend Mike Hart, we knew that we wanted the new songs to be somewhere from the heart and pulled directly from life experience. We also knew that there is so much more to the songs we wanted to write than just girls and wanting to get out of the town you're from. I didn't have much of an idea of where Tyler was going to take these songs when he went out to write them but I had heard the demo for Anchored and Torn and knew that our songs were going to go in the direction that they ultimately did. These songs are so esoteric because they came from such a personal realm of Tyler and my life. They touch on the confusion and apathy that an unstable homelife created by divorce, lies, and addiction can have on a someone and how the effects of that can last far longer than you can anticipate. The songs are for everyone, but I hope it finds people who are going through a point in their life where they feel anchored to a mindset or a place that they wish that they could get out of. I hope they know that we are right there with them. I am hoping that on the next album we can address the solutions to these problems but for now we just needed to shed light on the fact that those problems are real.
Okay, let’s discuss the ending to “Deadweight”. What’s that about?
The ending to deadweight was originally just the sound of the rain fading out and then you hear us talking for a bit. I had the idea one day of having a song with an audio clip of Carl Sagan talking about god and the existence of one. So Tyler Pritchett (guitar) and I worked on that song for a while. We originally wanted to put it at the beginning of the album and intro the album with it but it would have given you a false sense of whats to come for the rest of the album so we added it to the end. Putting it at the set up the world of "whats to come". It's our cliffhanger to the album so I would expected the next album to be more like that. The final "hidden" track on the album is titled 'moonsounds.'.
Ideally, what do you hope people take away from somethingreal.?
I think what we ultimately want people to take from somethingreal. is that we are growing and maturing as a band and that there is a lot more to us than just a pop/punk band from Louisville. Personally I hope that this album will set a tone in peoples minds that we don't want to be known for a genre but for an experience. What comes next will continue to be us experimenting with music and our abilities as song writers and musicians. I want people to know that they are not alone in their experiences, thoughts, and beliefs not matter what those are and that the healthiest way to cope and learn from your life experiences is to share them and express them through some sort of outlet. somethringreal. is the stepping stone to the experience of Before the Streetlights.
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Alex Kilgore, Untold Music Promotion
#Before the Streetlights#somethingreal.#EP#music#review#new releases#Untold Music Promotion#UMP#UMPromo
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