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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

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Hello Dani.

I wish I were here with some cute Malec fan arts to show you instead of what I'm about to say. But I'm not. I guess I just need to talk to someone. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. You don't have to answer me. I guess the fact that I was comfortable enough to tell you these helps me enough. To at least know that I'm no longer the only person who knows these anymore. To know that it isn't a secret I have to bare alone. Cause I'm fucking tired of it.

Ok, here's the thing. Here, in my country, students attend a national exam at the end of elementary school. Just before entering middle school, at 11. The results of this test show whether you can enter some special schools that are built to guide and educate the students who got accepted. The students society thinks are smarter than the others. As far as I can remember, I knew I should take that test and get accepted. When I was a child my mother told me about a long time ago, when she and my father were at high school. My father had wanted to become a doctor at the time. He'd tried and studied hard and eventually gotten accepted at the medicine school. But back then, it had been very important for the students studying important majors at university- like medicine- to have a good social image and other people's opinion about them mattered a lot. And at that time, my father's family had had some kind of quarrels and fights going on with some neighbor families, and thus when those people were asked about my father personality, they've talked shit about him and he got rejected. He had to become a teacher instead. I was just a child back then, but even as a child, I could see how my father always yearned for what he'd lost. The way he talked about how good of a job it is, how doctors can help people a lot, and how if I'm smart and hardworking enough, I can become a doctor one day. Long story short, from a very young age, every one told me that I was intelligent and should become a doctor. It would make my family and my family name proud and I knew it. So I tried, I studied and I got accepted at that special schools at 11( cause it has always been part of the path I was shown ). I not only got accepted, but also got the best marks at the test in the town. That day was the only day I remember my father looked very proud of me. I always did good at the exams, but there was always something lacking for them, like, although I become a top student, I didn't become the best, or although I became the best, some of my marks still could be better. So there was always some criticism waiting for me, no matter what result I gained. The only time that there wasn't any, was that one time that I got accepted in those special schools at 11. That day I only saw appreciation. After that, I always kept trying but I guess I was never hardworking enough. My parents used to say it was because I couldn't put my complete focus on studying. Because I used to draw, and play soccer, and also attend English classes. I loved all of those activities, but I dropped all of them when I entered highschool. Because everyone said they were distracting me from my purpose that was becoming a doctor. That I needed to study biology and math and not waste my time with arts and sports. So I did it. And I was ok with it, or at least I thought I was. Untill I wasn't anymore. Until suddenly this pandemic started one year and a half ago, and I no longer could go to school. And I started struggling to keep up with my lessons and studying. I understood that I didn't enjoy it, it had become like a chore. I didn't understand how much my friends, my teachers and my school meant to me and how much it affected my willingness to studying till I lost it. And it took me even longer to find out the reason I needed them so much. And I hate that reason. I totally hate it. But it was true. I needed school because they gave me the appreciation and approval I always yearned for. I found out that one of the reasons I studied well was that I liked everyone appreciating me. I like the looked of awe in their eyes when I solved math problems or when I answered a biology question no one knew of. And I no longer had those. I was all alone with my family, since school were closed. And I knew- I know- my family loves me, but their tactics for helping someone or something get better has always been criticizing the wrong things, instead of praising the good parts. And it helped, or it used to do, at least. But just as long as I got the praise and approval I needed from the others. But I didn't

get them anymore cause I was all alone with my family now. I just had them. And the criticism become harder and unbearable. Studying was like a burden, a chore. And it didn't help that with the whole staying home situation, I had more time to think and I realized how long it had been since last time I drew anything. Or played soccer. Or read my favorite novels. I realized I never once stopped to think about what I wanted to do. My life path had always been described for me. I'd always known what I was supposed to do, or what I was supposed to be. But I was no longer sure if it was what I wanted. And I was confused and lost and absolutely terrified. I didn't know what to do. Whether to continue my path, or change it. I tried to speak to my parents. But they didn't get it. They didn't get why I was suddenly hesitating and told me I was just ruining all those years of trying, for nothing. So I stopped talking about it. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't help feeling like I've always lived for others. Like, why the hell should I need my teachers and classmates appreciating and praising me? Why should not having that anymore make studying boring for me?? Why did I never thought about my future as a choice, not something that was always set to happen?! I was angry at myself but most of all, I was lost, I didn't know what the hell to do. And no one could understand me, so when my parents asked me how I was preparing myself for the national exam of universities acceptance, I lied. I lied and told them I was doing ok, while I totally wasn't. I couldn't tell them, I didn't want them to blame me, cause I blamed myself enough. I hoped it will get better by the time. But it didn't. Everyone thinks I'm a fucking Christopher Lightwood, while honestly, I'm more a Alastair Carstairs.

And now, here am I, not knowing what the hell to do. The exam for universities acceptance is in less than a month and a half. I know I still have time, but I no longer know what I want to do. And I no longer believe in my abilities. I think my parents were right, I think I just wasted my time hesitating and questioning myself. Maybe becoming a doctor doesn't make me happy, but isn't it worth it?? That at least it is what my father wanted for me all along? That I can at least make my family happy and proud?? Cause I don't know what makes me happy. And now, it's too late to think about it and find out. Cause I'm scared to find out. I'm scared that I make my family disappointed, like I made myself disappointed. I'm afraid it's too late and no matter what I do, I'm gonna make them disappointed. That while everyone thinks I'm gonna get accepted at the best medicine school, I won't get accepted at all. I wasted so much time questioning everything. If only I continued my path, at least my family would be happy. But now, I'm terrified that I make them disappointed and remain unhappy myself. Cause even if I was living a lie, even if I one day got up and see I didn't like my life, at least I still had a life. A life in which nobody had expectations from me any longer. And even if I didn't like my life, I was at least alone to do whatever I want with it. But at the moment, I just want to become a doctor, and pay off what I've always felt I owe my family. My father. That was the only thing he ever wanted from me. ( And it pays handsomely, sure. It's just, I was never sure if I enjoy doing it, not just its payment.)

But I'm now terrified that I've ruined my chance for even having this. I think I should've never questioned my life. It didn't help that I found out I wasn't happy. I can't help but think I fucked everything up. I always tried to be open to changes. To be brave, just like Alec was. But how can I do that when I don't know what I want? How can I even choose another job when I was practically raised to become a doctor since forever? How can I change my path when I sacrificed lots of things that I loved for it?? All those soccer games I didn't attend, all those drawings I didn't draw, just to have time to study! How can I do it?? And what if my family was always right, that becoming a doctor is best for me? What if I've had fucked up my chance of becoming a doctor even??

And more than anything, I'm tired of keeping all that a secret. I feel guilty as hell whenever I see my parents cause I lied to them, and it's making it all hard to breathe. I'm really really tired. I'm lost. What am I supposed to do? What should I do???

Hello, darling.

Thank you for trusting me with this. I'm glad you wanted to talk to someone. Whatever you feel, it's out now. You no longer have to worry this is a secret. I hope that helps you a little. I hope it lightens the burden you carry on your shoulder.

As always, I cannot tell you what to do. It's your life - something I do remind yourself more often. It helps. I promise.

But I can tell you what I think.

1. I think you are very smart. Like VERY smart. So, if you are worried about changing your academic course or career path, I would say you have nothing to worry about. If you can study biology, trust me, you can find your way through any other subject. It's nothing to be afraid of. Every subject is hard. But you seem like a relentless little fighter to me. So, you will figure it out.

2. I think the reason your father wants you to be a doctor is because he still feels the pain of not achieving his dream. If he doesn't enjoy teaching, then he knows what it's like to live a life of regret. Your father wants to spare you from that. But irony is cruel. Because that very effort has pushed you into the same path. I think someone *cough* you *cough* needs to remind your father that even if you become a doctor, you will not be happy. And while your parents might not be able to see it clearly as you do, it's what they want too. Success doesn't necessarily mean happiness. So, maybe you should tell your father that. Tell him that even if you become a doctor, it wouldn't make you happy. So, despite all their prayers and efforts, your parents would still fail. Because you would be living a similar life as your father had to.

3. One and a half month sounds like a very short time. But here is the thing. I feel like if you put your mind to it, you can get through this exam. But what about your heart? Where does it want to be? What does it want to do? For me, it doesn't sound like a problem of "can I do this?". Yes, you can. It's more a question of, "do I want to do this?". I don't know the answer to that. You are smart. Figure it out.

4. The best advice I've gotten in life is this "do what makes you happy." I know that many don't have the luxury of following that advice in every possible way. But you have the chance. do it. If something or someone is bringing you unhappiness, you should have the liberty to say "no fuck off." It takes a lot of courage to look at something and say 'no'. We haven't been taught to say that enough. Learn to say 'no'. If you take away anything from this response, it should be that.

5. You don't owe anyone anything. Just so you know. Not your family. Your parents. Not your school. No one. Nothing. But you owe it to yourself to be happy.

6. I have met many people like your father - and perhaps yourself - who have told me that "I couldn't follow my dreams. But when I have a child one day, I will do everything in my power to make sure they get to achieve their dream". It's truly a beautiful sentiment. But all I can think is...If it's possible for us to fight for an unborn child of ours, then why can't be fight for ourselves. If we are willing to fight in the future, then why not now?

I know you want your parents to be happy. I know you don't want to let them down. I know a lot of us think that way. So I ask - Why can't we show the kindness we are willing to show the ones we love to ourselves?

7. I don't know what you are going to do either, my love. But I know you will survive. So, even if these words get washed away and even if the confidence you feel is momentary and even if you end up taking the exam and do biology, I hope you remember that it is never, ever, ever too late to choose yourself. To follow your dreams. To stand up and say no.

8. You told me you are more like Alastair. So, I'll leave you with this.

"If you choose that for yourself, it is your choice, but you cannot choose for me”

All my love,

Dani x.

#choose for yourself #prioritise yourself #it doesn't make you selfish #I promise #ps - you are always welcome to come talk to me or tell me your secrets #even if you don't have any cute malec fan arts for me #I will still love you the same #<3 #love

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pinkplantmakesstuff · 3 years

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I’ve written a thing about Alec based on past personal experiences, so big warning for suicidal ideation and suicide attempt.

I’m not entirely sure if I want this to actually happen in Alec’s story, I’m erring on the side of not at the moment or even at all, but I wanted to write a thing because I’m doing so much better then I ever was but I wanted to write something I related to back when I was having a real bad time. (January is a weird time for me because of this lmao, not bad but weird!)

This only has Caithe and Logan in it because like I said it’s heavy stuff and I’m not sure I even want this to actually happen in his story, but out of all the npcs those are the two who I think would be around and Alec would feel like he could turn too. (Canach too, him and Alec get on REALLY well and I reckon he would know about this situation but I didn’t wanna add anymore characters)

Also the ending is kind of “And things got better the end” coz things for me DID end up getting much better, and it’s hard to write that up in the equivalent of a fictional made up universe. Right enough rambling here’s the thing, Trigger warning: for Suicidal Ideation and Attempted Suicide.

Alec absentmindedly scratched at his throat, it had been several years since it had happened, and the burning sensation only flared up when he was truly angry. The symbols he’d carved into his chest had long since faded too, no trace of them remained. It was as if his body simply rejected the concept he’d been originally trying to achieve.

He smiled slightly, though one of reflection rather than happiness. It had taken a lot of work but he felt secure in the knowledge that regardless of anything that happened he wouldn’t go down the same path.

Looking back he thought about what happened.

He hadn’t initially started researching ways to prevent coming back. Originally it had been morbid curiosity, perhaps an idea of sealing away his beastly powers forever after death. Over time it turned into a failsafe, a last go to measure, and from there it developed into a constant thought at the back of his mind.

Trying to learn about ancient magic was hard, especially given Alec couldn’t read. Instead he turned to the small yet growing collection of books he’d gathered that only he seemed to understand. Their contents were scattered at best and he was sure it changed frequently, but the knowledge contained within was old and dark. It left a bad taste in his mouth as he went through them, their subject matters often always celebrating destruction and the pain of others, but he continued on, flipping through the pages looking at anything that might prevent someone passing to the mists. At first the books showed him ways to become a lich, but he rejected those, pushing on further through the densely packed scribbles. It seemed as though the text knew what he wanted to achieve and tried hiding it, but he was nothing if not determined.

Eventually he was able to cobble something together. It seemed he needed a seal - a lock to prevent him coming back again. He practiced in his notebook, hand shaky as he tried copying the curving and swirling shapes. It took time before they resembled any of the old language he’d slowly grown accustomed to seeing. Even his own writing seemed to want to change into anything but what he’d drawn, but it seemed he held sway over the language when drawn in his own hand as the more he practiced the less it changed.

The sigil was step one, step two required something easier to obtain. Going over all the options he reckoned poison would be the best bet - something to destroy his body before his magic would have a chance to heal itself.

Alec went to Caithe for that, framing it in a way that looked like he was helping Taimi with dragon research. She hadn’t even questioned it, as why would he lie? It would take time she said, she had to gather the right ingredients and brew them together. He helped with the gathering, in his mind this was still just a precaution right? A last resort.

When Caithe handed him the vial she’d smiled as he’d thanked her, the weight of it heavy in his hand. She explained it was deadly, a painful concoction that destroyed the consumer from the inside out. There was an antidote, she made one too in case Taimi wanted to study that, but it had to be administered quickly. He promised he’d send them to Taimi right away, but that lie came with a guilt that weighed in his stomach, adding to the already grim secrets he felt like he was keeping.

If the others had noticed a change in attitude they never mentioned it, but he doubted they had. He was just as quiet as ever, always pushing forward through each obstacle without complaint, pushing through each injury as if it were nothing. The bubbling anger in his chest remained constant - a sharp fury that struggled to climb out of his throat. An anger that would lash out and hurt people if he wasn’t careful. He refused to acknowledge it however, letting it fester inside him instead.

As the days pressed on the constant “what if” grew and grew til it was an all-consuming thought. What if he snuck away, and drank the vial here, what if he waited and did it there - it was no longer a what if to an escalating situation, but now a when.

The night came after he bid farewell to his travelling companions; Caithe was heading to do a goal she would not fully disclose, and Logan had been called back to Divinity's Reach. They’d parted early in the afternoon, and the moment they were out of sight he was acutely aware of the vial and notebook in his bag.

Once the sun had slunk beneath the horizon, he found his hands moving automatically, his movements almost mechanical in nature. He removed his shirt, painstakingly carving the seal onto his chest, just enough to draw blood. Once completed he sat inside his tent, it only took a moment for him to uncap the vial and down the contents.

The burning was agonizingly painful and his hands flew up to his throat. The words on his chest seemed to react, and he could feel them trying to squirm into any other shape then the one he’d carved but to no avail. And then, he slipped into darkness.

For a moment there was nothing.

Then the next thing he knew he was violently throwing up a mixture of poison and black blood. Someone’s hand was on his back, another in his hair stroking it. He was aware of muted voices and being lent against someone’s shoulder, before he passed out again.

The next time he awoke he was in a bed. He shifted and let out a groan. The marks he’d etched into his chest stung but were wrapped in heavy bandages, and his throat felt torn and shredded. Opening his eyes and saw Caithe by his side, watching him intently. As soon as she saw he was awake her eyes lit up.

“ ‘m sorry.” His voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

She shook her head and gently took his hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Behind her Alec could make out Logan, who looked tired yet relieved. The other man took a seat beside the sylvari, and at Alec’s request helped him sit up.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment before they all started trying to talk at once.

“I really am sorry-”

“I should have said something I knew something was up-”

“Thank the gods you were okay I was so scared-”

And then Alec started laughing, not his normal gentle chuckle but as close as it could be with a destroyed throat. The angry viscous ball nestled in his felt dislodged, instead he simply felt physically and mentally exhausted. Logan and Caithe paused, letting him go first.

Then they started talking, properly.

Alec explaining what he’d learnt, the anger he’d been feeling all these years and how he was just so scared he’d lash out. Both Caithe and Logan listened, no judgement from them except blaming themselves with how they’d let Alec slip into such a mindset. He forgave them, it was no one’s fault really, but he was grateful they were there now. They took in turns to stay by his side while he slept, and over the coming weeks they took it slow while Alec recovered physically - taking a break from the draining awful job they had of saving the world, and instead took time to be, in their opinion, as normal people as they could be.

It had been several years since then, an incident that only the three of them knew about.

They didn’t really talk about it as time passed, it was in the past and he'd grown better at recognising his emotions and powers since then.

No longer was this grey cloud hanging permanently clouding his every thought, instead, despite everything, he was able to keep going; taking time to appreciate and enjoy more of the little things regardless of how small. Sure there were bad days, but now he was equipped to deal with them.

#suicidal ideation tw #attempted suicide tw #heavy topic #alec shadowdancer #my writing

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dustedmagazine · 5 years

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Dust Volume Five, Number 10

The Hammered Hulls

Time again for a load of short, mostly positive reviews of records that caught our attention at least for a little while. This edition is typically wide ranging with free jazz, teen garage pop, piano experiments, acoustic guitar picking and goth-y post punk all jockeying for your ear. It’s not just obscurities this time around either, as Ian Mathers looks for the solid core of the National’s over-long latest, while Jen Kelly makes peace with the Futureheads. Participants besides these two include Bill Meyer, Andrew Forell, Nate Knaebel and Justin Cober-Lake.

CP Unit—Riding Photon Time (Eleatic Records)

Riding Photon Time by CP Unit

CP Unit, an evolving ensemble formed around saxophonist Chris Pitsiokis, exhilarates live, the sound anchored by antic, twitching, faster-than-advisable-but-nailed-anyway bass, complicated patterns of percussion and abstract slashes of guitar. Live, the music is colored rather than dominated, by the urgent, chaotic energy of the proprietor on horn. A late summer set at the Root Cellar in Greenfield, MA left me gasping. Riding Photon Time captures the same band I saw—Pitsiokis, Sam Lisabeth on guitar, Henry Fraser on bass and Jason Nazary on drums (which is different from the line-up Derek Taylor reviewed here )— in two fiery 2018 live settings. The first half of the disc was recorded at the Moers Festival in Germany in May, the second at the Unlimited Music Festival in November. “Once Upon a Time Called Now,” from the earlier set, captures the spare, rippling tension between Pitsiokis’ free-ranging inquiries and Nazary’s intricate but grounded rhythms; they duel for a couple of minutes before the rest of the band enters. The cut also foregrounds Fraser’s restless, rampaging bass work, carving a headlong through line in the squall and storm. “Seasick,” from the November show, gives space to Lisabeth’s guitar, lyrical in a tilted, offkilter way, the tones bouncing off Pitsiokis’ sax melody in loose conjunction and counterpoint. My only complaint is that the mix favors melody, zooming in on the sax and obscuring, somewhat, the fascinating interplay between drum and bass. In most bands, that’d be fine, but in this case, the rhythm is just too good to hide.

Jennifer Kelly

Eluvium — Pianoworks (Temporary Residence Ltd)

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Matthew Cooper has done enough things under his Eluvium moniker that even those only mildly acquainted with his work might not be surprised that he’s put out an album of solo piano compositions; they might, however, be surprised to find out that Pianoworks is the second such Eluvium album, after 2004’s An Accidental Memory in Case of Death. That record, coming after the striking (and often noisy) debut effort Lambent Material served to establish that Cooper wasn’t going to be restrained by genre, form or instrument. Here, having accomplished an awful lot over the past 15+ years it’s fitting that Cooper appears to be in a more contemplative, even melancholy mood. Whether it’s the gently rippling “Underwater Dream” or the brightly rounded runs of “Carrier 32”, Pianoworks serves as a reminder that Cooper can stop you in your tracks with the simplest of setups, if he chooses. (And for those really a fan of his piano work, the deluxe version features an extra disc of new versions of practically all the previous Eluvium piano pieces as well.)

Ian Mathers

Frieda’s Roses — Jessica Triangle (Mika)

The three women of Frieda’s Roses—that’s Greta Fannin, Ava Miller and Poppy Lang—aren’t even in high school yet; their ages range from 13 to 15. And yet, this debut album, Jessica Triangle, is a marvel of minor key garage pop, raucous and wistful at the same time. Its bristly onslaught of guitars guards a tender center. You also realize, about halfway through the album, that teen girl pop has changed since the last time you looked, and the subject matter here is rather empowered. In a very strong middle section, “Isadora Giving” chides a girl for being too accommodative (“She’s kind in the way of giving things away”), while the stand-out “Lucy Poe” celebrates the complexity and intelligence of a young woman (“She’s happy and not/at the same time.”) “Forever Defend Her Story” recounts the ordinariness of sexual assault and the way women are blamed for it. The songs are bright and dark simultaneously laying in the pretty vocals of, say, Grass Widow, atop a raucous, acerbic foundation. There’s no way you’d know, without reading the coverage, how young this band is. They sound like they’ve been doing it forever.

Jennifer Kelly

The Futureheads — Powers (Nul)

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Back at the old Dusted, I wrote perhaps my most vicious review ever about the Futureheads’ second album, News and Tributes. It was disappointment speaking — I’d genuinely liked their taut, fizzy debut — when I said, “Now, with News and Tributes, the sad truth emerges. The Futureheads were lean from hunger, not discipline. With opportunity, they tend toward the flabbiest sort of excess.” Well, 13 years have passed, and I no longer expect anything from the Futureheads. I’d forgotten they existed, to be honest, but their latest album, Powers, is kind of fun. Much of what made the debut such a pleasure—the tightly wound guitars, the unexpectedly complicated vocal counterparts, the exuberant avowal of depressing ideas—is here, too. “Electric Shock” trips all the wires (ahem) by itself, with its zingy guitar and drum cadence, its densely harmonized vocals and its celebration of an extreme form of mental health therapy (“When I got my electric shock/it knocked me off my feet”). “Jekyll” punches, stings and tantalizes, its hoarse, wracked northern lead pillowed by giddy oohs and ohs. “Can you control your transformations?” asks the singer Barry Hyde, and then the song itself transforms itself, turning into a popcorning cacophony of closely aligned vocals. Even the willfully positive, good time anthem, “Good Night Out” ripples with existential angst; it’s only a feel good song if you don’t listen too closely. And yet, there’s a great deal of joy in these tight, complicated songs. They burst into flames as you listen, leaving spots in your eyes from the brightness and the bitter taste of ash.

Jennifer Kelly

Hammered Hulls — S/T (Dischord)

S/T by Hammered Hulls

Perhaps it's a bit lazy to toss out the old "super group" appellation; but, come on, if you're even a moderate follower of that thing we call indie rock, you have to recognize the extraordinary line-up of Hammered Hulls for what it is. With DC hardcore royalty Alec MacKaye on vocals, newly minted arena rocker Mary Timony on bass, Chris Wilson of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists fame (among other outfits) on drums, and Des Demona/Pink Monkey Bird Chris Cisneros on guitar, Hammered Hulls represents an undeniably impressive assemblage of rockers. If any individual band member's musical history comes to the fore here, though, it's probably MacKaye's, as the band trades in a brawny yet cunningly complex punk that recalls the musical revelations delivered by Dischord's first blasts of post-hardcore creativity. And while this is clearly a team effort, each sonic component is worthy of the listeners attention as much as the superlative whole. Though two of the three tracks clock in at just over a minute, indicating that at least in spirit the band isn't denying its past, the practically byzantine by comparison (coming in at almost four minutes) "Written Words" hints at the potential Hammered Hulls has to be more than just a spirited one-off by some friends with impressive resumes. This single should leave everyone desperate for more.

Nate Knaebel

HTRK — Venus In Leo (Ghostly International)

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Australian duo HTRK’s latest Venus In Leo is a collection of electro-acoustic minimalism characterized by a woozy shimmer reminiscent of Mark Nelson’s work as Pan American. Jonnine Standish and Nigel Yang have stripped their music to the bare bones. A heartbeat throb, sparse percussion, occasional washes of synth and Yang’s simple guitar strums underpin Standish’s voice mixed to the fore on nine songs redolent with damaged longing. There is a rawness of emotion and acute observation of small domestic moments recorded with an intimacy that draws the listener close. Influenced by dub’s use of space, echo and silence Yang and Standish achieve a feeling of momentum to evoke quiet turmoil. Their miniaturization of Missy Elliott’s “Hit ‘Em Wit Da Hee” takes repeated lyrical snippets from the original and turns the song into a ghostly waltz. “What's up star? /We know who you are/Shit, no shit I thought you hadn't noticed.” Venus In Leo’s unadorned modesty is at times devastating.

Andrew Forell

Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster — Take Heart, Take Care (Big Legal Mess)

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Songwriter Justin Peter Kinkel-Schuster frames his new album Take Heart, Take Care as the result of an artistic problem. He'd become used to writing dark songs, until he found he was content and had mostly good things to say. It's a false dilemma, of course. Any number of artists have built not only albums but careers on encouragement (see the War and Treaty as an example of a current act doing it really, really well). The real trap for Kinkel-Schuster was to avoid get treacly in his new mood, and he successfully avoids that snare.

His performances rely on his patience — he's content, remember, but not exuberant. He builds his songs comfortably within his context, but he doesn't jump on them. When he sings, “There's plenty of wonder in this world still to be found,” on the opener, his ease prevents it from sounding like a naïve epiphany. Kinkel-Schuster's Americana-influenced indie-rock comes carefully constructed, but only to make space for that heart to come through. It's a songwriter's record, easy melodies supported by well-balanced guitars. It's the singer not the guitars who have done their processing. The record and its bright sound create a warm space and sit down in it. Kinkel-Schuster may have found his ease, but his desire to share it quickly becomes apparent.

Justin Cober-Lake

Longriver—Of Seasons (Hullaballou)

Of Seasons by Longriver

David Longoria of Longriver picks nimbly at his guitar, plucking out porch blues-y tunes that are steeped in tradition but freshly imagined. Not quite spare, his tunes are abetted by a crew of Texas regulars, songwriters Sarah LaPuerta of Strange Paradise and Lindsey Verrill of Little Mazarn, Evan Joyce and Colin Gilmore, as well as composer/percussionist Thor Harris. Though mostly acoustic guitar and voice, his sound is filled out with harmonica, soft percussion and twining communal harmonies. His songs run at a mid-temperature folky pace, so soft spoken and unassuming enough to elide one into the other, and honestly, don’t quite catch fire until late in the album when ghostly, lovely “Texas Doesn’t Care” comes along. This one uses all the tools, an aching pedal steel guitar, some silvery electric keyboards, punchy drums and fiddle. It also contains the prettiest melody of the disc, fluttered out in a high, not quite falsetto quaver. A few more like this and Texas might sit up and take notice.

Jennifer Kelly

Lunaires — If All the Ice Melted (Shades of Sound/Wave Records)

IF ALL THE ICE MELTED by Lunaires

If All the Ice Melted is a highly polished blend of cold wave, goth and stadium synthpop. This first outing from Milan post-punk Jeunesse d’Ivoire veterans Patrizia Tranchina (vocals) and Danilo Carnevale (guitars, programming, synths) evokes the heyday of 4AD bands such as The Cocteau Twins, Xmal Deutschland and Dead Can Dance. Here, Tranchina ruminates on loss, mortality and nature’s power as Carnevale constructs dreamy electronic soundscapes with sparklingly clean guitar lines twinkling above. The results are lovely but polite. The edges have been sandpapered to nothing and the dust swept away. “Mirror Trancefix” stands out precisely because it has that grit — the drum programming a little ragged, the bass dirty, the guitars cutting. Otherwise the gloss creates an emotional distance, which may be the point but discourages complete engagement with Tranchina’s often affecting vocals. If All the Ice Melts sounds good, and if it never quite breaks out there’s enough here to enjoy and look forward to what Lunaires could do with a little less restraint.

Andrew Forell

Bill Nace & Chik White—Eel (all parts) / Wild Wire (Open Mouth)

The news that Bill Nace (Body / Head, Vampire Belt) has picked up an acoustic guitar and sat down to jam with a jaw harpist might give some cause for pause. Is he going American Primitive, or maybe going skiffle? Spoiler alert — the ghosts of John Fahey and Lonnie Donegan will not hear their names called when you play this record. But play it you will, and for only the best of reasons. First of all, it’s a seven-inch, black vinyl single, and no one buys such things anymore unless they really, really love them. But this one does more to earn your affection than merely exist. On the a-side, White’s orally organized vibrations and Nace’s persistent smacks on prepared strings stir up a constellation of buzzing sounds that’ll reliably destabilize your equilibrium without getting you fired when the Feds drop by to drop everyone on the work floor. The flip combines broad feedback ribbons with intermittent glottal eruptions to create a sonic sweat lodge experience so deep that you’ll be unloading all your Scientology machines on e-bay, all issues resolved.

Bill Meyer

The National — I Am Easy to Find (4AD)

youtube

The National have been getting expansive recently (with the instrumentation and their runtimes, among other things), and who can blame them? Having attained the kind of big-venue prominence that means either you start lapsing into the version of yourself the hecklers always claimed you were (an especially slippery potential slope for a band like this one, so precisely emotionally calibrated and so close to being the bad kind of dad rock) or you start just going for it. The latter approach served them mostly well on Sleep Well Beast a few years ago, but this time finally feels like the kind of record that the National needed to make for their own progress more than one that’s necessarily fully successful. One absolutely successful move is the series of accompanying singers (“backing” seems almost disrespectful for what Gail Ann Dorsey and Lisa Hannigan, among others, bring to these songs), and the expanded studio palette first highlighted on Beast is still mostly working for them. There’s even a quick comparison in the form of old fan favorite “Rylan,” which still sounds great here. Ultimately what doesn’t quite settle right is just the sheer length, bulk, and discursiveness of the album, complete with accompanying film, brief interludes by the Brooklyn Youth Chorus, interpolating a Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 song into a track that was already too long and feeling that somewhere within these 63 minutes is a really killer 40 minute or so album just waiting to be carved out. Eight albums in, things could be a lot worse.

Ian Mathers

Reduction Plan — (Ae)Maeth (Redscroll Records / Dune Altar)

(Ae) Maeth by Reduction Plan

Reduction Plan swells to epic size in this sixth full-length, turning the darkwave, synth-heavy aesthetic laid out in the five previous albums into an enveloping, shimmering, near-post-metal overload. Daniel Manning, the band’s single member, worked with Swans/Walkman producer Kevin McMahon this time, a move which transformed his Cure-circa-Disintegration gloom into a weighted, gleaming edifice. “An Act of Self Immolation” sets the tone with giant masses of guitar sound that tower and lumber. Unencumbered by vocals, it’s more like Pelican than gothy-post-punk. “The River” hews closer to new wave, with its clean, chiming synth tones, gate-reverbed drums and echoey vocals — there’s a nice smouldery sax solo in this one, too — but still looms and glowers with a palpable heaviness. “Ae Maeth,” at the end, brings on Jae Matthews from Boy Harsher for added vocals, a kindred spirit in reviving music at the intersection of dance, goth and industrial; the album’s longest cut slows the thump of dance floor into a desolate cadence that can’t and won’t stave off destruction.

Jennifer Kelly

Rosenau & Sanborn — Bluebird (Psychic Hotline)

Bluebird by Rosenau & Sanborn

The house on the cover of this LP is surrounded by fallen leaves. But even though it depicts the location of this recording, and that recording took place in October, and they recorded with the windows open, the sounds inside are not particularly autumnal. Chris Rosenau’s (Collections of Colonies of Bees, Volcano Choir) is too quick and eager, Nick Sanborn’s (Sylvan Esso, Megafaun) electronics too effervescent. This music feels like the sun hitting your brow, refracted by heavy air. It feels like the first awareness of escape when you turn off the work phone and start a vacation. Or maybe it just feels like Indian summer. Put it on, put the speakers out the window, and go kick some leaves.

Bill Meyer

We Melt Chocolate — We Melt Chocolate (Annibale Records)

we melt chocolate by we melt chocolate

The reanimation of shoegaze pioneers My Bloody Valentine, Slowdive and Ride has brought renewed attention to the genre’s flourishing across Europe, the US, and Japan during their absence. Italian band We Melt Chocolate — that’s Vanessa Billi (voice and synth), Lorenzo Sbisa (guitar), Enrico Baroncelli (guitar), Marco Crowley Corvitto (bass) and Francesco Lopes (drums) — hit all the classic marks on their latest, excellently produced self-titled album. Ethereal vocals, banks of effects laden neo-psychedelic guitar, washes of synth, and a thick bottom end are all present and correct. Taking Loveless as their template, We Melt Chocolate strive for the epic and on tracks like “wishful” and “orange sky” reach it with elegance rather than sheer volume, although turning it up never hurts. We Melt Chocolate probably won’t convert non-believers, but fans of shoegaze and dream pop will find a lot to like here.

Andrew Forell

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rosykims · 5 years

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5 + 10 for emeraude, 14 + 18 for effie, 19 + 24 for arylene and 30 through 45 for imogen bc i love her so much ? 😏😏😏

fdjkfjkfdk thank u SO much maia i absolutely Treasure You !

EMERAUDE HAWKE - DA2

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

emeraudes fashion sense is probably my favourite out of all my ocs, so uh if u havent looked at her pinterest board yet u should do that bc its Very cute hehehe

anyway for the most part she sticks to dark, practical clothing whenever she's out and about in kirkwall or doing merc work, etc. she picks clothes that convey strength and power, but she likes having a little bit of colour somewhere on the piece, just to keep things interesting. she's not much of an embroider, but was a good way to keep herself distracted during hard times, so she tends to add little patterns here and there whenever she gets the chance!

as for special occasions, for her this would actually just be. a quiet night at home or a relaxed gathering with her friends. bc its so rare for her to have that lmao. anyway for events like that she usually wears light colours and soft fabrics, simple but always decorated with flowers or colourful patterns.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

she has a collection of gifts ! that kids from lowtown would give her over the years she spent in kirkwall. she's a very community based person and wants to do right for her city, and shes very nurturing (in an ironical, Cool Big Sister way) so she likes making sure all the kids are safe and being looked after. she gets a lot of trinkets and strange gifts from some of the kids as a result, but she does treasure them (even if she laughs about it with her friends) and keeps them all !

EFFIE RYDER - MEA

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

effie's maternal rolemodel has always been her late mother, ellen. nobody could really fill that role in her eyes, since they had such a close, positive relationship before she passed. her relationship with her dad was a lot more strained and it really impacted a lot of her relationships later on in life too ! she tends to.... see an older man who is Vaguely Nice to her, and then think “ oh, youre my dad now?” which isnt fair to anybody obviously but yeah she,,,, has a lot of unresolved issues regarding alec and tends to unintentionally project so. We stan !

How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

oh constantly lol. With her dad being an n7 and her mother working so hard on her research, they tended to move around wherever her parents work required. she actually enjoyed it this way. she was never good at making long term friends, but she lived meeting new people, and obviously with the move she got to experience a lot of different cultures which really put the idea of adventuring and travelling in her head at a young age.

ARYLENE TORR - TES IV

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

she likes them ! she tends to keep her distance with most communities and groups of people in particular, but she does like enjoys having the odd conversation with the odd street urchin here and there, either sharing with them some strange, ridiculous life advice or – if shes feeling particularly chaotic – telling them the scariest stories she can think of. as for having them, arylene isnt AGAINST the idea, but she has far too much for the foreseeable future for that to ever be a good idea

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

outwardly, arylene is an almost unbearably easy going person, so you would assume she doesnt hate anyone lol. but she does DEEEPLY dislike cults and groups of ignorant people who are arrogant enough to start messing with the balance of life, or making deals with gods, etc. she believes that people like that can do an unbelievable amount of damage, so she invests a lot of time and effort it sabotaging any group or plot she happens to find !

IMOGEN FOSTER - RDR2

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

hmm idk if this even EXISTED in 19th century london lol, but she would have done some very tame version of girl scouts as a child! She barely remembers any of it, but she liked the classes on what plants did what, which were safe to eat, and the likes. its something that helps her a lot when on the run with the gang, and something shes always had a personal interest in, as a nurse !

other than that, she’s done a lot of independent study on history, classical literature, and she speaks fluent italian we stan !

What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

imogen comes from a very wealthy aristocratic family, so she was very fortunate that her privilege afforded her the education she got at the time. she is VERY grateful to have attended the schools she did, and she made sure to make the most of it, paying attention in class and studying harder than most of her classmates. she's a smart girl with a very active mind, so knowledge is something she can't get enough of. she was actually petitioning the board of education to allow her to attend university before she left for america – already their had been women accepted into universities at that time, but obviously it was still a very scandalous thing lol, especially since imogen wanted to study medicine.

What subjects did your OC excel at?

imogen is a HUGE overachiever and did pretty well at basically everything from science, mathematics, language studies and later on, in her studies as a nurse. i can tell you what shes bad at though lmao

anything physical really dkdkdks she is TERRIBLE at horse-riding since she usually just went by carriage everywhere in the city. art and poetry and writing in general she was never great at, because she's a pretty logical person and was told she never put enough emotion in her work lol !!! sports...obviously was very limited anyway as growing up in like? the early 1870s lol. and as for the traditionally feminine lessons in like ?? sewing and cooking and stuff well ! she was very average at them which made her  feel worse than if she was actually bad bc she's so used to excelling and making a name for herself oof

What subjects interested your OC?

Imogen loves greek literature and mythology !! the iliad is her favourite book and she keeps her heavily annotated, dog eared copy – a gift from her late father – on her person almost constantly. needless to say its why dutch admires her as much as he does lol.

obviously, as a nurse-trying-to-be-a-doctor, she has a great love for medicine in all its forms. she's always been fascinated in natural remedies, and even moreso when she's running with the van der linde gang and is really relying on the land to survive.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

hmm okay so. Technically she's a nurse – she worked in her father's hospital for almost 10 years prior to his death, and she was sort of his unofficial understudy, as in she knows a LOT more than her job description requires lol. but after her father past away, another, less progressive man took his place as chief of surgery and made a lot of changes to the way the hospital operated, and imogen was let go. she and her mother were fighting against it, however, under the ground of unfair dismissal, but obviously given the time period it didnt get them very far. so ! i mean technically she's unemployed rn. but she still has dreams of being a doctor, or at least continuing her career in medicine.

How is your OC working towards their dream job and/or achieved their current profession?

Oh VERY direct action up until she got disheartened and chose to take her sabbatical. she had been working in her role for nearly a decade, and was very obviously one of the most experienced nurses there. even younger doctors would sometimes ask her for her medical opinion dksksks anyway what i am saying is Brain Very Good. she had been fighting to gain admission into a university – any, she wasnt picky – to study medicine officially, but it didnt get very far and she put it on hold after her father got sick. after he died and she was laid off, she fought even harder against the city to reinstate her title, and continues to fight after she returns from america a year or so later.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

helping people is her entire life, and she wouldn't know what to do without it. she loves being a nurse enough to fight to be a doctor, but also in BEING a nurse, she is hyperaware of all the things current medical standards seem to get wrong, and she has a lot of ideas about how else to go about things. her father, a shockingly progressive and worldly man for the time period, shared her sentiment, but he wasn't able to make the changes he wanted to before he passed, so imogen hopes she can be the change herself, and make her father proud

What is your OC’s biggest dream?

being a licenced doctor, babey ! preferably at her father's hospital, but at the point she will take what she can get.

How does your OC react to and handle stress?

imogen handles stress very well , which is partially why she makes such a good medic, and also how she managed to survive the first week of being with the van der linde gang lmao. she is very good at shutting out EVERY distraction when things get dicey, and her brain tends to move at a million miles an hour. all traces of english etiquette and politeness go out the window, though, so you'll usually catch her barking orders at people, and yelling at anyone who prevents her from doing the work she needs to do. it.....is a big wake up call for people like dutch and micah, and gets her into a LOT of trouble on multiple occasions.

How does your OC handle anger?

ooo......not great. she’s grown up with parents who maybe encouraged her to speak her mind a bit....TOO much given the historical circumstances lol. she really doesn’t stand for ignorance or prejudices in any capacity, and if she has a problem with someone and it gets in the way of her trying to do her work or help others - she will ABSOLUTELY be having words. she also overestimates her own strength quite a lot. she’s tried to throw hands with micah MANY times, often forgetting she’s this tiny 70kg englishwoman and he’s .... Him sdjkdcjkf. she has a big mouth too so she often says snide remarks without even meaning too, which tends to get her in trouble as well. on the bright side, it also helps her fit in with the gang quite well, because for the most part they all appreciate how wild she is lmao

How does your OC handle grief?

hmm i guess it depends on what you would class as “well”? she doesnt cry very often - being stoic and handling your emotions is important when your a nurse - but she does tend to shove her feelings down far longer than she should, and tries to pretend they don’t exist by simply focusing on other things. she also blames herself when a lot of things go wrong, because she’s a perfectionist and wants to FIX everything, so when she finds something - or someone - she can’t save, it feels like a personal failure. like she let them down :(

What is your OC’s greatest fear?

probably being trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage with someone who undervalues her. she’s not much of a homebody and doesn’t have too much of an interest in being married, but the idea of feeling FORCED to marry someone in order to have a decent quality of life makes her blood run cold oof

What makes your OC happy?

helping people ! meeting new folks ! learning about other cultures and ways of life! learning about NEW THINGS in general ! proving people wrong ! insulting micah !

as tough and high-and-mighty as she sometimes seems, she’s a pretty easy person to please, honestly. treat her with respect, give her space to do the things she wants to do, and don’t get in the way of her opportunities to learn new things, and she’s mostly very happy !

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

she has a fairly macabre and sardonic sense of humour, something she picked up from her mother. she says a lot of Shocking things for the time period, and she’s not shy of dirty jokes either. the first time sean heard her, a soft, well spoken english Lady, make some filthy, crude joke, he nearly had a stroke right there on the spot kjkjkfdjkf

What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

senseless violence, suffering or cruelty. she really hated the gang at first and hoped to escape the first chance she got, because all she could see was the crime and disregard for human life she assumed they all held. fortunately, as she got to know them, she realized this wasn’t exactly the case, but she still has a lot of anger in her heart for a few key members of the gang who seem to enjoy bloodshed more than anything. she also hates any form of social prejudice, and people who gatekeep knowledge and opportunities from others.

What are some things that annoy your OC?

i guess all of the above, but she also dislikes misplaced arrogance, and people who talk down to others. she tolerates dutch, but often gets frustrated with the way he speaks, using as many big words as he can to manipulate and confuse others. she believes that really intelligence doesn’t require obscure jargon and big, fancy words - she likes keeping things simple, so everybody can follow along.

#trvelyans #asks #ilysm for asking so many questions gal and sorry for the late reply !#oc: emeraude #oc: effie #oc: arylene #oc: imogen #imogen is my new rdr2 oc in case u couldnt tell djkdsjks #i need to update my ocs page with all my new Babies #also im so sorry for how long and probably messy these replies are #i did Not proofread this in the slightest so. godspeed !!#/ long post

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little-fandom · 5 years

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I’m bad at letting you go - Chapter 1: Some nights I think of you

Alec couldn't be prouder of his sister. She's just finished filming her first movie and is excited to climb the steps of her career. Of course, this time calls for a celebration, and everyone who's ever helped Isabelle achieve her dream should be celebrating with her.

That includes Magnus.

He and Alec broke up, when he left to shoot a movie in LA. They both decided it will be better this way. It was a mutual decision. Or it was supposed to be. Because even after five months, Alec can't stop thinking about him, and the fact that he probably made the worst mistake of his life by letting him go.

But now, Magnus has his life back in Los Angeles, without Alec.

New York has always been his home, and Magnus missed the city for a lot of reasons. Well, mostly because of Alexander, but he's not going to admit it out loud. It's over between them, and there's nothing else he can do about it. They've both agreed on this. But still, it hurts. Very much.

So when they meet again, it turns out the feelings between them have never faded. If so, the emotions only got heightened by the time apart. The question is, will they make it work again, against all odds and misunderstandings.

read on ao3

“So I was thinking…” Isabelle starts as she takes one last sip of her coffee, but before she gets to say anything more, Alec stops her. They're seated at their favourite little coffee shop, just a few blocks away from Alec's apartment in Manhattan.

“No.” He states firmly almost choking on his drink. “I know that face.”

“What face?” Izzy asks innocently, but they both know what he means.

“That face.” Alec points out at her expression. “You have that look on your face when you’re about to tell me something I won’t like.”

“Well, I’m not sure if you won’t like it…” She says as she flips her hair over her shoulder.

“Just say it.” Alec resorts with an eye roll and his sister begins to explain.

“So I was thinking about inviting Magnus to the party on Friday…” She carries on, probably saying something more, but Alec’s brain goes short circuit as he hears the name.

Magnus.

“What?” He questions and Isabelle stops half sentence, looking at him and clearly noticing his panicked expression, even when he tries to hide it. “I mean, why?”

“Alec,” She exhales heavily and shakes her head a bit. “You know he’s helped me a lot. Both with auditions, learing my lines and he did whisper a good word of me to the director. I probably wouldn’t get this role if it wasn’t for him.”

And Alec gets that. He really does. But of course the person who helped his sister to achieve her biggest dream is his ex-boyfriend.

Not that he wished it ended up this way.

He and Magnus were happy. Really. No matter how hesitant Alec has been at the beginning at dating a famous actor, all of his worries were dismissed in the first few weeks of their relationship. Sure, Magnus was busy. With filming a movie and TV show at the same time, but he still found a while for Alec, at least twice a week. And it was probably the best relationship Alec has ever had. No, it definitely was the best one.

Until it all went to hell.

But it’s true. He did help Izzy a lot. And mostly because of him she gained a leading female role in Raising Hell, probably the most anticipated movie of the summer.

And to see the excitement setting in his sister’s eyes any time someone mentions the movie. It really was what Izzy’s dreamt of. She’s a natural. She already became friends with the crew on her first day on set. And now that the filming is finished, Isabelle decided to throw a party to celebrate her first movie.

So it’s no surprise she wants to invite Magnus.

“Look, Alec,” Izzy starts again, reaching for Alec’s hand across the table. “I know you aren’t in the best place right now-“

“We broke up, Izzy.” Alec states firmly, but does not jerk his hand away from hers. “That’s it. We both decided it will be better this way.”

Or Alec pretended it would be better this way. But what was he supposed to do? Keep Magnus to himself? Keep him away from chasing his dreams? He could never. At least Magnus was happy. Alec will somehow deal with it.

Isabelle only sends him a sympathetic gaze, squeezing his hand lightly. He told her it’s okay thousands of times. That he just needs time to deal with the break up, but to be honest it’s been nearly five months and he still can’t get a grip.

He keeps thinking about Magnus, about their time together. He was so happy, when they were together. They both were, but deep down he knew this probably wouldn’t last. Dating a celebrity, a well-known actor has its pros and cons. As Alec thinks about that, it definitely has more cons. The lack of privacy they experienced, the rumours of their break-ups or affairs. If Alec didn’t love Magnus so much he wouldn’t be able to go through this all.

Because he did love him.

Actually, he still does.

They last time they saw each other… Maybe it wasn’t that unpleasant, they parted in good relations, but it all was just weird. But Magnus did sound sure, when he said it’s for the best. There was nothing left for Alec to do than agree.

But to see him again now, after all this time, all they’ve been through… he’s not sure if he’s ready.

“I know.” Isabelle’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. “I know you did. So that’s why I’m telling you this. Are you okay with him begin there?” She questions, desperately searching his eyes, but Alec continues to avoid her gaze.

Because the simple, and short answer is no, he’s not okay with that.

But also, there’s something deep down inside him that has been yearning for Magnus. For his touch, his voice, just his presence. And Alec urgently tries to supress that part of him. It doesn’t really work, but he tries.

So if he sees him again…

But there’s also another part, the rational one, that orders him to do the right thing. Because it’s Izzy’s party. His baby sister’s , who just accomplished one of her biggest dreams. And he wants everyone who helped her in one way or another to be there.

No matter if he wants it, or not, that includes Magnus.

That’s the only reason why he says,

“Of course, I’ll be fine.” Isabelle doesn’t look convinced, just throwing him a resigned look. “What? It’ll be okay, it’s not like I need to talk to him, or anything.” His sister continues to eye him curiously, but doesn’t say anything more, so Alec does. “Will he even make it though? He’s probably busy back in LA…”

There is still this slight chance that Magnus just won’t have time to attend the party. As much as Alec knows (not that he has Magnus’ name on Google alerts and reads every single article that comes out about him, no he definitely doesn’t do that. Well, not anymore, at least) after he finished the movie, that required him to move to LA, The Breaking Point this one where he stars with his ex-girlfriend (Alec can’t be sure if it’s still ex) Camille, he began the filming of another movie, The Downworld, which he co-directs with his friend Raphael Santiago. So it’s been quite busy for him. With The Breaking Point becoming quite a success, he must have a lot of things going on.

Isabelle doesn’t speak for a longer moment, before a smirk makes its way to her face and Alec already feels scared about what she might say next.

“Actually, I might have already invited him.” She announces with a grin. “He’ll be able to make it.”

“Oh, so this whole thing,” Alec waves his hand between them as if indicating their conversation. “About wanting to make sure I’m okay with that, was what? Bullshit?”

“Of course not, big bro.” Izzy declares, her expression firm. “If you weren’t okay with it, I’d uninvite him.” She says, as if it was that simple. “But deep down, I knew you’d be fine.” She adds with a smirk.

“And how did you know that?” Alec asks a bit annoyed.

“Look,” Isabelle starts again. “You and Magnus… I don’t think it’s all really over between you two. And I don’t think you both fully believe it too.” Alec opens his mouth to protest, but she doesn’t give him a chance to, as she continues. “And it’s not a bad thing, Alec, really. That you still want him-“

“I don’t.” He cuts in sharply.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge that he does. He’s been pretty down since Magnus left. Threw himself into college and tried to do everything to just not think of him, which ended up having a total opposite result and he just thought about him more. Still does. Almost every day.

“Okay, whatever you say.” Isabelle sighs and drops the subject for now. She knows that it gets Alec all riled up again. “So, just do it for me, okay?”

“Iz, I told you, it’s fine.” Alec’s voice turns softer again. “If you want him there, and I’ll let him be there.”

Isabelle smiles at him warmly and creases his hand.

“You are amazing, big brother.”

And as they indulge in a small talk about the preparations for the party in two days, somehow Alec can’t stop his thoughts from wandering to Magnus.

No matter how many countries and cities Magnus visited. New York will always feel the most like home.

As he steps of the plane, it feels like a wave of memories floats all over him again.

And he isn’t really surprised when most of them are about Alexander.

He exhales heavily as he moves to the airport, where Catarina and Ragnor should already be waiting for him. He desperately tries to turn his thoughts away from Alec. But the realisation that he’s here, in New York, so close to Alec, closer than he’s been in almost five months… it just doesn’t help.

Then, he finally spots Cat and Ragnor, and shakes his head lightly as he approaches them. Cat’s small smile turns into a wide grin, when she notices him, and even her companion manages something resembling a smile.

“Magnus!” Catarina exclaims and practically runs to embrace him in her arms. Magnus easily returns the hug and Ragnor comes to stand next to him, patting him on the shoulder.

“It’s good to see you, old friend.” He resorts and Magnus smiles as he pulls back from Cat’s hug.

“I missed you guys, really.” He states, still keeping one arm around Cat’s shoulders.

“So, how’s LA treating you?” Ragnor asks, when they move back towards the car, that they drove here.

“It’s been great.” Magnus starts. “Me and Raphael had a great time, doing the movie together. The city itself is also pretty amazing. But nothing feels like home, I guess.” He states and smiles at his friends again.

“You probably need to head out as soon as the party ends, right? You busy man.” Cat chuckles, but her expression falls slightly.

“Actually, no.” Magnus says, as he drops his bag in the trunk of Ragnor’s car. Catarina sends him a confused glare, Ragnor soon mirroring it, and they just stare at each other, before he begins to explain. “I’m staying in New York, for now. I don’t know how long, but me and Raphael have some shoots to do here. We decided that it’ll be good for the movie. And after that, I’m taking some time off. It’s been hectic recently. And still, there will be promotion for the movie… I have stuff to do here.” He nods at his own words.

“That’s great!” Cat exclaims and hugs him again. “Really, Magnus, we felt like you were overworking yourself recently.” She says with concern in her voice.

And the truth is that he kind of did. LA has been busy, but he didn’t mind. He hoped it would take his thoughts of off Alec, but he wasn’t quite right. Alexander kept creeping into his mind every day, no matter how hard he tried not to think about him.

Catarina send him a knowing look, as if she knows exactly what he thinks about, but she doesn’t say anything. And for now, he’s grateful she doesn’t.

“So yeah,” He begins to stop this kind of awkward silence. “The rest of my stuff will be delivered here tomorrow, and Raphael has a flight tomorrow morning too. He still needed to settled some things back in LA about the movie.”

“It’s been a while since we saw him too.” Ragnor resorts. “It’ll be great to catch up.”

Magnus nods and just as they’re about to move back to the car, he hears someone say, or more yell, his name.

“Oh, my God! It’s Magnus Bane!” Some girl screams and heads towards him. “Could I please have your autograph?” She asks, barely able to hold back her excitement.

“Sure, my dear.” Magnus replies and the girl beams with happiness.

Soon, more people seems to recognise him, and he’s surrounded by his fans, a wave of questions being thrown at him.

“What are you doing in New York?”

“How long are you staying?”

“Is your latest movie done?”

“Where’s Camille?”

He dismissed most of them, saying that he’s just visiting some friends. But when a reporter asks about Camille, he swallows a groan, and politely ignores the question. Yes, Camille is his co-star, but he said dozens of times, that they’re not a couple, not anymore. They used to be, long ago, when he was just climbing the stairs of this whole movie business. But their relationship wasn’t even long. Camille just used him and was basically awful. She cheated on him, repeatedly, and even is Magnus can stand a lot of things, he certainly can’t stand something like this. But of course, that’s not how the media paint Camille. In the public’s eyes she’s just an amazing, loyal and kind actress. But Magnus is not vicious. He won’t ruin her career. And even if he wanted to, the media can be not very favourable of him, since he’s an openly bisexual man, and he never really hid his relationships. Either with men or women. So the media often paints him as the lothario and playboy.

Shortly, after some more autographs and pictures, he finally joins Cat and Ragnor back in the car, and gets some time to exhale.

“The perks of being famous, I guess.” Ragnor states as he starts the car and Catarina chuckles from the front seat.

Magnus just sends them a sarcastic glare, and turns to open Twitter on his phone.

Sure, there already are pictures of him at the airport, along with some comments from the reporters.

@TMZ: Surprising arrival of actor Magnus Bane in New York.

The tweet is followed with a few pictures taken when he was giving out the autographs by the car, and of course a big amount of replies already follows.

@baneslover: omg!!! he’s back in ny, my baby so close to me

@mbfans: has the movie in la finished filming @magnusbane?

@belcourtshipper: where’s Camille tho :(

He closes the app with a groan as he reads the tweet about Camille. He’s really so done with these people sometimes.

Soon, they finally reach his apartment and God, he didn’t really know how much he’s missed the loft, since he opened the door.

The place hasn’t changed at all. He knows Cat and Ragnor kept it all in check, and he’s really thankful.

He goes straight for the couch and stretches out, finally able to relax and let all the tension slide over him.

“Well, since we know that you’re safe and back home, not swallowed by some hoards of fans, we can go.” Ragnor says, as pleasant as always, to which Catarina sends him a sharp glare. “What? Some of us need to work, and I have dozen of books of Egyptian history waiting for me back at home. The research won’t do itself.” He resorts simply and shrugs.

“Go,” Magnus says from where he’s still sprawled on the couch. “we’ll catch up later. I’m pretty worn out myself. Thank you for picking me up.”

“Anything for a friend!” Ragnor calls out as he already heads to the door, which makes both Cat and Magnus chuckle.

For a moment, none of them says anything. Both just content in each other’s company. Catarina seats herself in the armchair next to the sofa, and soon begins to speak.

“Do you want me to go, so you can get some rest?” She asks softly. “I have a shift at the hospital in two hours, but I can-“

“No, my dear. Stay.” Magnus states a she sits up on the couch to face his friend more properly. “It’s been so long.”

“Yeah.” Cat chuckles as she moves to sit beside him. “So, how have you been doing?”

The indulge into some small talk about their days. They spoke a lot on the phone and made video calls, so Magnus doesn’t really feel like he missed out on a lot of his friend’s lives. But still, it’s much better to be able to sit and talk face to face.

A bit later their conversation dies down, and Magnus finally builds up the courage to ask something, that has been on his mind basically since he arrived.

“Have you…” He starts hesitantly, looking down from his friend’s face. “Have you spoken to Alexander at all?” He questions, still not meeting her eyes.

“A bit.” Catarina answers and he looks up. Alec and Cat had become quite good friends during their relationship. But he wasn’t sure, if the friendship survived after they parted. “At the beginning, at least.” Cat continues. “Now rarely, but still a little. Just basic conversations. Nothing much.”

She says and smiles sympathetically at him.

Magnus is glad she doesn’t question anything. She knows him better than ever, and even after his and Alec’s break up, she could see that Magnus was not happy with how things have escalated. There’s no point in denying that he still feels a lot for Alec. That maybe he still even loves him. Deep down, he knows he does. And he can’t stop himself form thinking, that it was a terrible mistake to leave Alec like that. He thought he was doing the right thing back then. That it would be another disaster if they tried to keep the long-distance relationship going. He didn’t want to stop Alec, to somehow limit him, make him wait for him, especially when he didn’t really know if he when he would be back. Or if he would be back at all. Alexander deserves way better than that.

Los Angeles holds much more opportunities for young actors. That’s a fact. And Magnus did feel good there. Great, even. But New York is different. It’s his home, and he can’t deny that he felt a bit homesick back in LA.

He wishes it wouldn’t have anything to do with Alexander, but he knows it does.

“How is he doing?” He prompts then.

“Alright, I guess.” Catarina shrugs. “Busy with studying and stuff.”

Magnus nods lightly, remembering how seriously Alexander takes collage. He’s on third year of law school now, and Magnus knows without a doubt, that he will become the best lawyer ever. He's really focused and ambitious. Magnus recalls Alec studying for his exams right here, on Magnus’ couch. How stressed and nervous he was. How Magnus would just keep his arm around him and kiss his neck, releasing some of the tension.

He shakes his head, trying to get back to reality.

“Does he,” Magnus tries again after a while. “Does he have someone?” He asks even more insecurely.

Cat takes his hand and squeezes it lightly, which make Magnus look up again.

“Not that I know of. No.” She replies, her smile widening a bit, and Magnus can’t help to smile back.

He knows that Cat is rutting for them. She has been from the start. She said she can see how Alec makes him happy. More than ever, really. And Magnus is grateful for her support. What he felt with Alec … there are really not words to explain this. The joy, happiness… of course, there were hard times, crises maybe, but they somehow always worked it out.

Magnus really hopes that this time they would too.

Because he still wants Alec. But there is a big chance that Alec doesn’t want him back. He did let him go. Without fighting really. He just agreed that they shouldn’t force it. Their relationship. That maybe it’s how it was supposed to be for them. He remembers when they got together at the beginning. How hesitant Alec was, and how he didn’t really know what he got himself into in the first place. Paparazzi following them, fans screaming around when they just saw him. Magnus thought that Alec got used to it along the way. To him being busy and occupied a lot of time. But maybe he was wrong. Maybe Alec just got tired of him not begin there.

“I’m sure he’ll be at the party.” Catarina offers him another smile. “Isabelle is his sister after all.”

“Yeah.” Magnus nods and sends her a tight smile.

He’s not sure how to act, when he’ll see Alec. Of course, he’s happy that he received an invitation to Isabelle’s party. He’s incredibly proud of her and pleased that she’s finished her first movie ever. He knows she’s an amazing actress and it’s really just a beginning of her career.

“I should get going.” Cat states then as she gets up from the couch. “My shift starts soon.”

Magnus hasn’t even noticed how late it’s got and that Cat indeed needs to go now. He stands up alongside her and moves to hug her one more time, before she heads to the door.

“Call me if you need anything!” She calls out as she leaves, catching Magnus nodding at her words.

Magnus exhales as she’s out of the loft, stretching on the couch and pulling his phone out again.

His sight hoovers over Alec’s contact name for a while. Maybe if the met and talked to each other before the party, he’d make sure they wouldn’t cause any scene. Alec is not really a man for drama, but Magnus has no idea how he’ll act when they see each other again.

No. He dismisses this idea firmly. He and Alec broke up. It was a mutual decision, and there’s no one to blame. There’s no reason to cause any scene.

He closes his contact page and opens twitter again instead, seeing even more pictures from the airport and comments from his fans. There’s a lot of praise for his outfit. Which was just casual, so it’s nice. Again, a few mentions of Camille, which he quickly scrolls through, not paying attention to. But there’s also one tweet that catches his eye.

@malecforever: magnus is back in ny, alec lives in ny. Do the math ;)

He smiles and barely resists himself from replying something. But in the end just sighs and closes the app again.

He’s aware of how his fans follow his love life. He never really restrained from posting pictures or cute tweets about his dates. So yes, his relationship with Alec was pretty public. But Alec never said he minded. Most people didn’t recognized him if he wasn’t with Magnus anyway. But they never really made their break up public. It just kind of hurt too much to reveal it to the world. Magnus knows that his fans are not stupid. When he moved to LA, and it was clear that Alec stayed back in New York, and with Magnus not posting any pictures or tweets about them, they did figure out it was probably over between them.

He exhales heavily again, and moves to pour himself a drink, again thankful that Cat and Ragnor kept his alcohol stock full.

It’s good to be back home.

#malec #shadowhunters #malec fanfic #au #Alec Lightwood #Magnus Bane #Isabelle Lightwood #Catarina Loss #Ragnor Fell #celebrity au #actor au #break up au #angst #fluff

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sneakywitch-thief · 5 years

Text

Andromeda OC: Henri Ryder

So I finally got to playing Mass Effect: Andromeda. I dove into this game with the expectations of it being a turd of a game as the reviews said. I was convinced it would be horrible. EA Bad.

Nope.

While it’s got its flaws it’s fun as hell. Especially playing as Ryder, who I love nearly as much as I do Shep. I’ve only played female Ryder so far but it’s certainly been a good time. Looking forward to playing as a male next time around, though since I’m 100%-ing everything I’m definitely taking a break from this game! Things get, um, kind of repetitive after a while.

But I’m finding myself writing this post because my Ryder ended up becoming one of my favorite OC’s I’ve ever created. I’d write a fic to do her justice but I’ve already got a full plate. So I’m writing this instead.

Meet Henrietta “Henri” Ryder.

She’s adorable. And looks so dang young. Still losing that babyfat, almost. But those cute cheeks are scarred forever by her crushed helmet, to always remind her of the ultimate sacrifice of a father she had never really known. A horrible reminder as twisting as ugly as the Scourge, each and every time she looks in the mirror.

It had almost been her who had died... and perhaps it should have been.

Henri was a young and awkward grad student looking to gain her doctorate in xenoanthropology. Studied Prothean artifacts before her estranged father went and ruined her chances in achieving her dream. Or any, for that matter. So she joined up with the Andromeda Initiative as a sort of field science officer on the Pathfinder team.

Henri had not seen combat before Habitat 7. She wasn’t a peacekeeper -- she was a scientist and a scholar. Her twin Scott was the soldier, the beloved child of Alec. She still loved him dearly, but still felt lesser for having been born a Henrietta and not a Henry. Never really knowing Alec as Scott had.

She felt she was made Pathfinder simply because she was the only one around at Alec’s death. After all, it had been her fault he had died. And she was no soldier, no real explorer -- just a scholar. Of Protheans. She had likely only been admitted into the Pathfinder team in the first place due to her being the Pathfinder’s daughter.

All she had to defend herself against the kett was a pistol. She never strayed much from that, even as Pathfinder. And to stay true to this, I stuck with ONLY tech abilities and two pistols for the entirety of the game. Overload, Shield Drain, and my frisbee turret. Engineer 6, baby. (ended up being a bit OP, actually)

So with this initial handicap of sorts my game took a long, looooong time. In my opinion, and with all the wild goose-chasing and colonization you have to do all over the cluster without relays, the main questline of Andromeda alone would take months, if not years. Space is huge. And Rome wasn’t built in a day, so a colony on a hostile planet? Several? I tried to reflect that.

As the Initiative gained a better foothold in Andromeda over months of exploring and building, Henri started to grow in confidence in herself and her role as Pathfinder. She was good at it.

Or maybe it was just SAM who was good at it.

She grew her hair to hide the scar that reminded her of her failure, her guilt. She felt better for a time, keeping this from her mind. However, she still felt as though she was the cause of her family’s deaths -- and Scott’s coma -- and felt uneasy about herself. As if growing too comfortable would bring back ruin and tragedy back down upon her.

Her burning passion for discovery and science, as well as her know-how of foreign and alien cultures in defusing the Angara, enhanced her abilities as a successful pathfinder, though perhaps not the Pathfinder. Trailblazer, perhaps. Hopelessly lost person stumbling off a cliff and miraculously surviving, definitely. But still, she was surviving. They weren’t all dead yet, and the outposts built were, actually, thriving.

Enter Reyes Vidal.

To say Henri was swept off her feet was a vast understatement, as she had never really felt real affection before from anyone other than her mother and Scott, whom she had both lost. This shady smuggler in Kadara, he changed things.

He made her feel like someone worthwhile, not just as the human Pathfinder but as Henrietta Ryder. A lonely young woman in a galaxy full of horrors and terrors, it felt easy to be around him and to be herself instead of this bigger figure she had not the slightest idea how to be. She could be a young woman in love. With him, extinction and certain annihilation could be forgotten for a while. For fleeting moments, happiness.

Comfort.

He saw something in her that was beyond the Pathfinder, beyond SAM. Henri was there too, and he LIKED her. He knew and recognized that, and most shockingly to her, he actually wanted to be with her. Every instinct within her told her to run, he’s a thief, he’s a criminal. But she felt the same about him. They wanted to be people who mattered, and most of all, who mattered to one another.

It felt almost too good to be true when she gave herself wholly and heartily to him.

And what a charlatan he was. Lies. Manipulated into bringing Sloane to her ultimate death, Henri was too shocked to save her during this mockery of an honorable duel to save Sloane. The feeling of utter betrayal was crushing, and despite what he said, Henri knew she could never trust him again. He was a dishonorable man, a criminal, and for all she knew his feelings for her had all been a ruse to gain her trust.

Perhaps he was sincere, but to Henri, the idea of that made it all the more horrible. No matter what he said or what she told herself, she felt used.

She left him then as King of Kadara port, all that he had wanted. But she took her heart with her. In pieces, but out of Vidal’s hands before he could go and break it again.

Back on the Tempest, between FTL jumps, she lingered and ruminated on her failed romance with Reyes. Reyes, who despite her better judgement and sense of honor still very much liked. Gradually, these thoughts of betrayal and heartbreak turned on herself. Had she not been enough? No, she would never be enough. Alec deserved to be Pathfinder. Scott. Cora.

People even told her so, multiple times, directly to that scarred face of hers.

Literally anyone but her should be Pathfinder.

So Henri sheared off the hair that had made her feel good about herself. All that progress that had made her feel worthy, all that she felt had brought the heartbreak of Reyes upon her. Gone. She never got the facial reconstruction surgery urged for her by Lexi, who recognized the dangerous spiral Henri was going down.

But she needed to see that scar, let everyone see it, to remind her of all she wasn’t.

She threw everything into being a Pathfinder, running herself ragged for the sake of the Initiative. She gradually became more and more reckless in combat and exploring, almost with disregard to her own safety if it meant the completion of a mission or saving just one more civilian. (Her best friends Liam and Peebee were not good influences.)

She needed a victory after so much complete and utter failure at being someone.

However, her passion for alien culture and history earned herself a loyal friend and subject of study, Jaal Ama Darav. With Liam and Henri’s constant badgering, the three became thick as thieves. Then, to Henri, the unthinkable:

She attributed it to typical Angaran affection and blunt honesty; flowery words of politeness and friendliness, nothing more. Perhaps her interest in diplomatic relations and studying the Angara had been mistaken for romantic interest -- something that was not in Ryder’s particular set of skills. She didn’t want it to be.

So she distanced herself.

Hint not taken. Instead, he sent poems and e-mails, words of “I love you” and “dear one”, words that were to painful for her to ever hear again -- not after Mom, Dad, Scott... Reyes. People you love were people you lose.

It’s just culture clash, it’s just alien curiosity. Henri assured herself again that it ultimately meant nothing. At least, not until Havarl and the Roekaar. Jaal’s eagerness to show off his beloved new human friend to his turncoat siblings, his bravery to show down Aksuul with a gun held to his head -- perhaps there was more to learn about Jaal than about his species.

Jaal was more than just an Angaran ally, and to him, Henri was more than a human leader.

And so utterly enthralled with his human friend, or something more, Jaal brings her to meet his family. A huge family full of love and kindness and generosity. The likes of which Ryder has never known. She doesn’t know what to do in such a thoroughly alien situation. To be so readily accepted by strangers, in many more ways than one, to be known as Jaal’s “someone special”.

She’s overwhelmed. And Jaal brings her to his “tiny sanctuary” and opens up about himself, what he did as a child, stories of who he was. How she makes his heart sing, how he wants to be with her.

Henri doesn’t know what to do. She feels that Jaal is misguided, she’s an alien to him -- she’ll just end up destroying his loving family as she destroyed hers. She has to ruminate on it for some time, likely worrying Jaal terribly as he patiently waited for an answer.

Love could mean another Reyes, used for greater goals, but Jaal -- he wore his heart on his sleeve. And it was a good one. He was honorable, he was courageous, he was loving. Lies and trickery, those horrible things had belonged to Reyes weren’t anywhere in Jaal. And she felt now, realizing in his tiny sanctuary with this man who was just as curious and enthralled with her and she was about him, that he was safe -- no, that she felt safe around him. That she could.

So she said yes.

After acceptance by Jaal, her crew, even those at the Nexus who had doubted her -- Henri became a formidable and competent Pathfinder. Confident and strong. Literally forging her own path where there was none, damn all who stood against her. At this point she knew what she was doing.

While a peerless diplomat and cultural expert, she most certainly needed a few combat pointers. Still reckless and hopelessly inexperienced in a firefight, squadmates have to yank her down from an overly aggressive hover blast or pushing her reckless butt back into cover. Jaal and Drack admired her boundless courage, as thoroughly stupid as they admitted it might be.

Though Pathfinder and a brilliant scientific mind, she filled much more of an active support role in the squad than any sort of leadership role. She knew that she could never stand on her own as Pathfinder, something that she had been struggling with her entire time in Andromeda. But now she could accept that, that she didn’t have to stand on her own if she had a team, a family, to stand beside her.

And if I would have to pick a face claim for Henri, it would have to be the lovely and talented Alison Pill.

#sneaky speaks #mass effect #mass effect andromeda #andromeda #mea #my ryder #henri ryder #henri reference #my ocs #long post #long post under read more #long

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ohfreckle · 6 years

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Hey, how about a prompt where the gang use a memory demon again like in Season 1 and when they give the memory of the person they love the most, Alec chooses Magnus and Magnus is all shocked because like, Alec loves him the most?! If that makes sense :) xx

Read on AO3

The familiar words roll smoothly off Magnus’ tongue, low and guttural. He doesn’t falter, doesn’t hesitate, not even when the last syllables are torn from his lips in a whirl of black.

Valak rises, an abyss of black smoke and shrieking fury. He rages within the confines of their summoning circle and the pentagram, unwilling to give up the memories he deems his own, but in the end, he’s falling prey to his greed and hunger like he always does.

“The demon demands payment,” Magnus calls out, struggling to make himself heard over the howling storm that whips around them, tearing at their hair and clothes.

“What does it want,” Luke shouts, his grip on Magnus’ hand almost slipping. He’s tense, has been all day since Clary learned that hers weren’t the only memories taken all those years ago.

“We each must relinquish a memory of the one we love the most.”

A sense of deja-vu washes over Magnus, and he hopes it isn’t a harbinger of things to come. Neither of them is keen for a repeat of the last time they’ve done this. Magnus is almost positive that Alec and Jace have overcome the awkwardness that’s come between them, but whenever they’re in the same room, it’s apparent that their bond isn’t quite the same. Alec keeps changing the subject whenever Magnus brings it up, more often than not with soft touches and whispered endearments, and Magnus—Magnus is only so strong.

Valak’s magic tastes like acrid smoke, clawing at the fringes of Magnus’ mind with all his might as he takes what’s been promised. Alec’s face hovers in front of Magnus before it gets swept into the circle of the pentagram, vanishing into a cloud of black. Magnus can’t place the memory, by now he has too many of Alec looking at him like he’s the only thing that matters, his beautiful eyes soft and so full of love it takes Magnus’ breath away even now.

He can’t imagine a time when he won’t feel that way.

Luke lets go of his memory with a quiet sigh. It’s Jocelyn, young and beautiful, her carefree laugh ringing soundlessly in the air.

Clary’s face hovers over Jace just as Jocelyn’s disappears, the resemblance between them undeniable.

Magnus keeps his eyes fixed on Jace; glad for the distraction it allows, preventing him from examining the pang in his chest that rips through him as he can’t bring himself to face Alec’s inevitable disappointment. He imagines it must look a lot like the flicker of hurt that crosses over Jace’s face when an image of Jocelyne appears in the air in front of Clary before it dissolves into smoke.

Like the look Magnus is carefully steeling himself to keep from his face. It would be easy to close his eyes, blame it on the exhaustion as his magic rapidly depletes. He won’t be able to maintain the invocation for much longer; nobody would blame him.

No. Family is everything to Alec. His love for his family isn’t a threat to his love for Magnus. Magnus knows this, but he still can’t help wondering how it would feel to be somebody’s most beloved. Just this once.

Until he’s reminded once again that he never should doubt Alec.

Time seems to stop as Magnus watches his own likeness appear out of thin air, hanging suspended in the air over Alec.

Alec chose him. But how—

Deceit, Magnus thinks, his thoughts racing. Of course, Alec would be noble enough to try and trick a Greater Demon to spare Magnus’ feelings. But Alec doesn’t have a false bone in his body, and even if he had, neither of them had a choice about which memory to give up, that’s not how Valak’s magic works. It shows what lies hidden deep inside, unearthing nothing but the truth.

A truth that’s impossible to comprehend, even when it’s staring Magnus in the face.

Is that how he looks at Alec?

Alec is the love of his life; there isn’t an inkling of a doubt in Magnus’ mind. He’s loved so many beautiful souls, all of them different but always special and dear to him. And yet, no love has ever felt like what he feels for Alec. So profound he couldn’t even carve it out of him when he’d tried. Calm and ablaze, a beginning and the end, for the first time like he’s one half of a whole. In his heart, Magnus knows he won’t love like this again. It’s right there for anyone to see, etched into every line of his face.

His eyes are shining, lit from within with love and affection, adding a sparkle that no amount of glitter could ever hope to achieve. His face bare and soft, as if he’s just woken up; exuding bone-deep contentment, as if everything he could ever want is right in front him.

The truth, Magnus thinks, right before Valak disappears with a deafening howl and blackness envelopes him.

~~~

Magnus wakes in his bed, blinking his eyes open to the feeling of soft sheets under his fingertips and Alec’s scent surrounding him.

“Is everyone okay?” It feels like the words are scraped right out of his throat, not an unusual occurrence with an incantation like the one he just performed. A glass of water is pressed against his lips before he can even lift a finger, and Magnus gulps it down gratefully.

“You gave us quite the scare. You okay?” Relief is written over Alec’s face, but the lack of more fussing probably means Magnus wasn’t out for long.

“I’m fine,” Magnus says. He takes Alec’s hand and squeezes it, reassuring them both that yes, he’s fine indeed, taking comfort and strength from Alec’s touch. “I ran out of magic. It happens when invoking a Greater Demon, nothing a little rest won’t fix.”

“You should have said something,” Alec says with a frown, stroking his thumb over Magnus’ knuckles. “You know I’m here for you.”

“I know.” Magnus does, but how is he supposed to explain that he was too distracted to ask for help by Alec’s unintentional declaration of love.

“Want some help now?”

Alec doesn’t wait for a reply. He merely lays down and gathers Magnus into his arms, arranging them so that Magnus can pillow his head on Alec’s chest and slide a hand under his shirt, placing it over Alec’s heart. They rest entwined like that, neither of them speaking.

A calmness he hasn’t known before washes over Magnus, settles into his very bones as he feels Alec’s strength flowing into him. Alec’s heartbeat is strong and steady under his cheek; slow, like he’s content right where he is. Beating for Magnus.

“Why me?” Magnus whispers, the words slipping out before he can swallow them down. He bites his lip, but there’s no taking them back now.

“Hmmm?” Alec’s voice is rough with fatigue, but he never stops the soothing circles he’s stroking down Magnus’ spine.

“Your memory—it was of me,” Magnus says. God, why can’t he just let it go? Even he can hear the disbelief in his voice.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Alec shifts onto his side, dislodging Magnus from his chest, so there’s nothing Magnus can do but follow until they’re lying face to face. He feels Alec’s hand stroking up his spine until it comes to rest on his neck, pinning him for Alec’s scrutiny. Alec searches his face intently, brows knitting together as a variety of emotions flash in his eyes, none of which Magnus can place. Magnus can’t move, only shift his eyes when he can’t bear the silence any longer, but Alec won’t grant him even that respite, turning Magnus’ face with a knuckle under his chin until he can’t hide from the truth that’s coming.

“Remember when I told you that I’ve been waiting all my life for someone like you? I lied,” Alec whispers, pressing closer until they’re sharing the same breath. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

For a brief moment, Magnus’ world stopped right then and there. But it only takes the merest brush of Alec’s lips against his own and it’s spinning again, brighter and faster than he’s ever known.

#malec #malecfic #malec fic #malec fanfiction #My writing #Anonymous

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dassandre-00qpidsarrow · 6 years

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Dr Emmaline Y’da - OFC - 00QEros(Dassandre)

Emmaline Y’da currently appears as an original character in two stories: Summer to Your Heart and How Much Love Can the Weight of Water Carry by 00QEros(Dassandre). She is MI6’s Chief of Medical. Herself a renowned surgeon, Y’da’s father had been one of the world’s leading virologists, appointed Regius Professor of Medicine at Oxford University, an academic chair founded by King Henry VIII in 1546, and though Emma’s medical career has taken a vastly different path than her father’s, she knows far more on the subject of virology than anyone else of Q’s reckoning.

In Summer to Your Heart, Q consults with Y’da prior to debriefing M and Bond on the intel gained on the lentiviral vector Bond managed to keep from being unleashed on Frankfurt, Germany.

While Alec Trevelyan has no love for Medical, he has a great deal of respect for Dr. Y’da whom he finds to be refreshingly blunt and direct, but sincere. James considers Y’da to be one of the true sources of female power at MI6, just behind Q and Eve Moneypenny. He is convinced that given the proper motivation, these three along with the female Double-Os -- Three, Eight, Ten, and Twelve-- would have little trouble achieving world domination if they wanted it.

In How Much Love Can the Weight of Water Carry, it is Emmaline Y’da, along with Gareth Mallory, who inadvertently puts Q and Bond on a romantic path by housing an ill James under Q’s care in a modified quarantine:

When Q originally shoved the take-away menus into Bond’s hands, he had not realized that the invitation to share dinner would become an invitation for the agent to move into Q’s flat for the duration of his recuperation, but that had been before Bond had developed a particularly nasty case of the flu and most definitely before Q had been strong-armed by Mallory and Medical’s chief physician, Dr. Y’da, into tending 007 through his illness.

“The man knows bugger all about taking care of himself, even during the best of times,” Y’da observed while flipping through the pages of Bond’s extensive medical history. “This flu’s been wreaking havoc through Six as it stands, but add to the fact that he’s only three days past surgery; discharged himself against medical advice, again, I might add,” she tossed the file to the table that hovered over Bond’s lap as he lay in the treatment bed, hooked up to a variety of drips to rehydrate him, and glared at the, quite frankly, pathetic looking Double-O, “He either has someone look after him or he stays here for the duration.”

Bond scowled and opened his mouth, but the fuss he was no doubt ready to unleash on sum and sundry was cut short by a coughing fit that practically left Q breathless from watching it happen.

“I don’t see ‘option two’ being a particularly positive one for anyone involved, do you, Quartermaster?” Mallory interjected in that annoyingly lazy tone of voice he used when offering up choices that really weren’t choices at all.

Q raised his eyes to the ceiling, half expecting to actually see the Sword of Damocles hanging over his head in spite of the fact that he definitely wasn’t at the head of this particular power dynamic.

Bond is so unsteady on his feet from the flu and his surgically-repaired leg that Y’da insists he leaves Medical in a wheelchair. He is vocally displeased by that requirement, and he and an exhausted Q set to bickering about it. Snickering from the doctor and Mallory pull Q out of the argument, and he becomes suddenly protective of the Double-O.

“There’s hardly anyone here this late, but I’ll wipe the security footage so that there’s no evidence of you leaving here in that chair,” Q continued, raising his voice in a way that demanded the other two take note on what he was about to say. “And I know that neither M nor Dr Y’da would ever think of sharing that tidbit with anyone else.”

“Indeed not. I like my credit rating right where it is, thank you very much. I’m refinancing my mortgage.” M said drily.

“Doctor/patient confidentiality,” Y’da added, stating the obvious.

“I should hope so,” Q said with a glare for the indignity he knew his agent was feeling and took the handles of the wheelchair from the nurse to push Bond from the room.

Y’da and Mallory watch silently until the pair is out of earshot.

“They’ll be married within a year.” Y’da decided.

“Oh, not so long as that, I think,” Mallory corrected. “Seven months at the outside.”

Eyebrow cocked, the doctor turned to the spymaster. “That sure are you?”

“Hundred quid.”

The eyebrow rose higher.

“Fine. Two hundred quid.”

“Excellent. I look forward to adding it to my holiday fund.”

They shook hands on the wager. Mallory nodded and headed for the door. He did still have work to do, after all.

“Gareth,” Y’da called after him, “They haven’t even started courting properly yet.”

“Emmaline, trust me when I say that for all their brilliance, those two men are idiots. Not only was that courtship that was foreplay.”

#007Fest #teamdoubleoh #00Q #fan edit #Original Character Day #ao3fic #Summer to Your Heart #How Much Love Can the Weight of Water Carry

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tea-fan · 3 years

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The boundary between art and science

After reading the book Alien Agency, I am very interested in the field of interdisciplinary. In this blog, I will argue using examples from biological art that what seems to be a hard science in fact shares many connections to art.

With the development of interdisciplinary collaborative research, many artists collaborate with researchers in different disciplines, applying hard sciences such as biology, chemistry, materials science, life sciences and physics to the field of artistic creation, and regard it as a new field of exploration. Furthermore, they treat laboratories as a new art creation environment. Therefore, many artists' works are increasingly similar to scientific practice, like Lu Yang and John Gerrard. As a consequence, in an exhibition, people can't even distinguish whether this is an artwork or a demonstration of scientists' achievements. Foucault (1972) claims that discourses are bodies of knowledges; knowledges are gathered into disciplines. There are the historically specific relations between disciplines and disciplinary practices. This blog will use Foucault’s ideas about discourse to analyze the ambiguous boundary between art and science.

Foucault (1978) proposed discourses construct the world and the form of knowledge have produced modern institution and systems of power. This means that discourse is a way to building power, since discourse through language to control and influence individual ideology. According to Stuart Hall (2001), Foucault’s main idea is that ‘discourses provide a language for talking knowledge about a particular topic at a particular historical moment.’ In particular, when an abstract thing is perceived, people tend to generalized it through language. In addition, Foucault (1972: 38) argues that discourse has its own ‘rules of formation’ and ‘conditions of existence’. As a result, discourse to some extent limits the way of thinking and practical ability. Therefore, Alec McHoul and Wendy Grace (1993: 58) state that, ‘within in each of these fields of knowledge, the statements which compose them are not only distinct in each case but also subject to quite different kinds of transformation.’ For example, if using Foucault’s discourse to analyze different types of discipline transformation, then theories of historical change must be rejected, such as tradition, thinking habits, and constraints on human thought. To summarize, the discourse between disciplines should not stay in the rules of formation and boundary given by that particular history. Instead, in this same particular period of todays, the discourse of boundary between art and other disciplines should be redefined.

Foucault’s main idea is that disciplines must not be regarded as a general discourse due to their quite different history, and the statements and terminology of a discipline should be different in each case (McHoul and Grace 1993). Therefore, interdisciplinary art practice is the best evidence that challenges the assumptions about which kind of visual vocabulary belong to the scientific world and which types belong to the art world. For example, the Italian anatomist Luigi Galvani (1791) found that if the legs of a dead frog were energized, their legs would react, proving that the current could cause muscle movement. Based on this biological experiment, and with the help of the Asian art museum in Fukuoka, Japan (2009), Lu Yang, a Chinese artist, got a dead frog for medical anatomy and created the artwork ‘Resurrection! Zombie frog underwater ballet!’ (Image A). In this six-minute video, the frogs are connected to the electrode and their limbs dances underwater with a strong electronic beat. Lu Yang (2012) states that machines or electronics are in a dominant position, and bodies and creatures produce various actions or performances under control, trying to clear up the boundary between bodies and creatures. Although humans are controlled by the body or disease, they use the body to create external instruments to break these limits. As Foucault(1978: 11) states that ‘wherever I have deemed it necessary I have allowed the systems to proliferation’. It is also obvious that Lu Yang tried to transform the discourse of art discipline in a particular history by using biological experiments as an art form. In addition, her artwork embodies the challenge of interdisciplinary art practice to the discourse of the discipline: when the work is placed in a different environment, it has different meanings. In the art exhibition, it is a visually impactful installation; in the science museum, it is a display of a visible biological reaction system.

Furthermore, Foucault (1972) argues that discourse of discipline has its own rules and conditions in a particular history, but these factors also limit its field of practice. Under the influence of postmodern, artists try to find a new way to express themselves in the broader field of biological media. In 1992, scientists sent X. Laevis frogs to the spaceship Endeavor to test whether frogs can multiply under weightlessness. And the biological experiment was recorded by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration with video. Artist John Gerrard (2017) combined Galvan's experiment with this experiment into a wonderful artwork: in front of a pair of white gloves, a frog made by digitally simulated images kicked the leg intermittently in a weightless environment, it suddenly vibrates the legs from time to time and gently rotates. The pair of gloved hands matched the frog, doing a nonsense but striking slow motion. As John questioned, will the journey into technical and mathematical abstraction and a world beyond the senses allow humans to beat death, to leave the earth, to create new machine life? His work is both a scientific model and an attempt at an aesthetic model. Therefore, it can be seen that artists can create a new expression medium based on the practice of hard science, and breaking the intangible restriction of discourse of disciplines on rules and practical fields.

In conclusion, the acquisition of the artist's creative concept is no longer limited to the art discipline, but extends to the broader field of hard sciences. Furthermore, under the vision of contemporary art, due to the influence of conceptual art and the interdisciplinary art, the boundaries of art have been greatly expanded. However, the relationship between art and science has not changed. Art emphasizes the fusion of subjective and objective, infecting people with works, but science emphasizes authenticity and regularity (Margot Lovejoy et al. 2011). Although artist's application in hard science and the deepening of his concept are always inseparable in artistic creation, the core of artworks is the creative consciousness of artists. Form is only a means and a tool for expressing the artist's creative consciousness. If the expression is independent of this, it cannot be called art. We can conclude that art has no boundaries in its form of expression, and its boundaries exist only on ideas and concepts.

Reference List

Foucault, M. (1972) ‘Discursive Formations’ in Gallimard (eds.) The Archaeology of Knowledge: And the Discourse on Language. London: Tavistock. Foucault, M. (1978) ‘Politics and the Study of Discourse’ in Gordon, C (trans.) Ideology and Consciousness. No.3(spring), pp.7-26. Hall, S.(2001), Foucault: ‘Power, knowledge and discourse’ in Wetherell, M. et al. (eds.), Discourse Theory and Practice: A Reader. London: Open University, pp. 72–80 Lovejoy, M. Victoria, V. and Paul, C. (2011) Context Providers: Conditions of Meaning in Media Arts. Bristol: Intellect. McHoul, A. and Grace, W. (1993) A Foucault Primer: Discourse, Power and the Subject. London: Routledge.

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stupidnephilimlove · 6 years

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Can I pleaaaaase request a second part of the uni au you wrote for Carla, I might die otherwise😭👌🏻 (If you don't want to/don't have time that's fine, of course, I'm just being overdramatic)

please don’t die here’s part 2. I erm.. I hope you like it and thanks for asking! 😄

Part one is here if anyone missed it

Alec’s hand is unsteady as he raises it to knock. His knuckles pause just before colliding with the door and Alec smooths his palm over the wood instead. His fingers ghost over the words inscribed in gold leaf. Professor M. Bane.

This is foolish, coming here like this. What is he going to achieve, other than making more of an idiot of himself? Alec’s heart is a little unsteady and he’s torn. Walk away or take a chance? He needs the help. Really needs the help. He barely scraped a pass on the last two tests. Professor Bane had gotten that new haircut for that first one, and then there’d been those trousers - they must have been painted on - for the second. It’s not really his fault.

The mental war Alec’s having consumes all his attention and he misses the movement of the door handle. The solid wood in front of him is suddenly replaced with a body. A man. Magnus. Shit. Professor Bane. Alec’s only thinking of him as Professor Bane, he promised himself. He really needs to create some boundaries in his brain.

“Alexander?”

Alec wants to melt, right there in the doorway. His knees go weak. It’s not a pleasant feeling because he’s not a damsel in some stupid romance novel, okay. He’s an adult. He’s a mature adult and he’s dealt with crushes before, he can deal with this one. Don’t ask him how he knows that romance novels have damsels that go weak at the knees. It was one book and it was a dare.

Still, he doesn’t look at Professor Bane when he speaks, “Were you serious about the office hours, Sir?”

Is that a chuckle? It is. It reminds Alec of taking that first bite of chocolate, that sweet, decadent rush followed by that instant craving for more.

“Magnus. You keep ageing me thirty years, and I’m not sure whether I should be offended.”

“Oh- I didn’t… That wasn’t-” The broad grin on Professor Bane’s face clues Alec in. That was a joke. Magnus made a joke and Alec like a klutz didn’t laugh. Alec does now, awkwardly, and it’s mostly at his own expense.

“Relax,” Magnus tells Alec, “I meant it. Come in and let’s see how I can help.”

They sit across from each other. Alec clutches the bag in his lap like a life raft.

“What are you struggling with most?”

Looking at you.

“Everything?”

Magnus leans back in his seat, eyes assessing. He twists a pencil between his fingers, presses it to his lips and Alec’s having a heart attack. His brain goes to places it really shouldn’t, to thoughts that aren’t all that acceptable when you’re sitting in your Professor’s office. He clutches the bag tighter in his lap.

“Why did you pick this class, Alec?”

Why did he pick this class? And why is Magnus asking him this?

“I needed the credits.”

Alec still needs the credits.

“But why these credits? History isn’t exactly the most interesting of subjects-”

“-you make it interesting though.”

Shit. Did that really just come out of his mouth?

Magnus takes it in good humour, when he says, “If I did, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

Alec feels like a shit. Magnus might be joking about it, but Alec’s making Magnus think he’s a terrible Professor.

“You do,” Alec assures, “I’m just having trouble concentrating in class sometimes.”

“Okay. We can work on that.”

Alec doesn’t allow his mind to linger on the word we. As much as it wants to.

“Back to the question though, why this class?”

Alec thinks about it for a moment, knows Magnus won’t be satisfied with a one-word answer and then he begins to talk. It starts with his love of learning, then shifts to his need to understand. He talks about how he could have taken an easy class, but what would the point have been if it doesn’t interest him and he’s always had this strange interest in the past and how things came to be the way they are.

Magnus lets him talk. He prompts but doesn’t lecture and Alec feels himself relax. He still feels that overwhelming rush of desire when he looks at Magnus but it isn’t consuming him anymore. When Magnus talks, he isn’t distracted by the movement of his lips because he’s riveted to the words, wants to hear everything Magnus has to say.

The hour passes quickly. Quicker than Alec likes.

When he excuses himself to leave for his next lecture Magnus speaks.

“I’ll see you next week, Alexander.”

There’s no question, and there’s a smile on Magnus’ face that Alec wants to interpret as fondness, but he can’t let himself.

As the door closes behind him Alec wonders when he broke his promise to himself and started thinking of Professor Bane as Magnus.

If you want part 3 it’s here

#malec fic #chloe answers #oh look i wrote a thing #prompts #au!malec #student!alec #professor!magnus #malec #wirtanzenimregen

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journeysintowebcomics · 6 years

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Worm Liveblog #66

UPDATE 66: Benign Villain

Last time was the last of the interludes! Bonesaw was the last one to be introduced and went to torment Panacea, actually succeeding even if she didn’t join the team. Now it’s time to return to the main story, so let’s do that!

‘Plague’, is the name of this arc. Maybe it’s related to how the Undersiders are taking over parts of the city like a plague, or maybe it’s a description of the Slaughterhouse Nine or Cauldron’s activities. I guess I’ll know for sure once this arc is afoot.

Looks like it’s a moment of peace and relative calm. Taylor is doing origami with a few beetles, while Charlotte and Sierra watch and provide commentary, it seems. Charlotte in particular finds creepy how the beetles are moving in such an organized manner, the opposite to how mindless bugs usually are. Bugs shouldn’t be like that, she says!

“They’re so organized and human. Bugs shouldn’t act that way.”

“I don’t really believe in thinking that way anymore,” I said, absently.

“What way?”

I had to stop to compose my thoughts. I glanced at Charlotte, and Sierra, who was standing by the fridge, silently eating her breakfast. “I don’t believe in shouldn’t, like there’s some universal rules about the way things should be, the way people should act.”

Well it’s easy to think that when you and a lot of people you know have powers that lets you and other beings act in ways they shouldn’t act. I think it’s the kind of mindset you get from watching everyday facts like the laws of physics be treated as an optional thing. You get…this feeling like anything’s possible, maybe? Taylor has adapted quite well to having powers and being involved in a superpower-filled environment! Hard to believe this is the same Taylor from the start of the story. Character development, I love you so much – and there’s still a long way to go.

“So there’s no right or wrong? People and animals should do whatever?”

“No, there’s always going to be consequences. Believe me when I say I know about that. But I do think there’s always going to be extenuating circumstances, where a lot of things we normally assume are wrong become excusable.”

“Like rape? Are you going to tell me there’s a situation where rape is okay?” Charlotte asked. I would have thought I’d touched on a hot subject if her voice wasn’t so level.

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. I hope you didn’t sprain a muscle with that particular flailing thought, Charlotte. I thought what Taylor said implicitly explained there are things that don’t become excusable, I mean—how did we get to this from beetles making origami? Things escalated in five seconds flat!

Taylor was only talking about bugs, anyway. So what’s she making here?

I directed a housefly into one hole and settled it inside, then fed a braided length of twine through the holes. I handed the result to Charlotte and ordered the bugs to start making another.

“A necklace?” Sierra asked.

Ah. I thought the box the beetles were making was…much larger. It’s a box just large enough for a fly to be inside, Sierra and Charlotte each will have this box in some sort of item with them, as a tracker and an alert button of sorts. If they’re ever in danger, all they have to do is crush that box, and a swarm will arrive in a minute or less. It may be good to have it as a necklace, if you have it hanging from your wrist there’s some risk you’ll crush it accidentally and hanging it from your keys has the same danger. It’s a clever way to use her power, that’s for sure. I never stop being amazed at the practical uses of her power.

She’s even making a rudimentary symbol system to alert them if there’s any danger like weapons, or to tell them how many people there’s nearby. That reminds me, what are Sierra and Charlotte going to do? It’s unlikely Skitter would send them to mess with people from dangerous rival groups, so I think it’s possible they’re going to stay here in the territory. Given what the Merchants did, people coming to attack is a possibility.

I drew three lines that crossed in the center, using the flies and beetles that were working on a cube for Sierra.

Asterisk. The word is asterisk.

Just as I hoped, it doesn’t take long for me to find out what these newly-minted henchmen…henchwomen, I guess…are going to do.

“For now, just door to door. I’m going to mark the places you should visit, where there are families or groups of people. I need the info I can’t get with my bugs. Who are the people in my territory? What do they need: Maybe medical care, clothes, more food, maybe someone’s giving them trouble? You find out, take notes, then pass that information to me.”

So basically, they’re going to do logistic and administrative work. Just like Taylor promised, they’re not going to do anything criminal. It’s a good induction into Taylor’s budding quasicriminal control over the area, and it should go without any problems given its simplicity.

…

Twenty bucks they have to crush the cube before the arc ends.

For now this is the only task they have to do, they’ll continue making their signal system later. Now it’s time for what most people want to hear about when it’s about working: money. I’m sure they’ll be pleased to know about their payment, being a villain here in Brockton Bay seems to give you quite a lot of money if you have connections, and Taylor here has connections. I’m sure she can spare enough money to give them a very good salary.

“We’ll try for six to eight hours a day, five days a week, but consider it flexible. Not to spook you or anything, but I’ll know if you’re slacking. I’m thinking two hundred and fifty dollars a day, and obviously it’s under the table, so you’re not getting taxed on it.”

…two hundred and fifty dollars a day, that’d be $31 per hour, more or less, and $5000 per month, supposing you work twenty days a month. Huh. Can I get hired too?

One of the lessons Taylor learned from Coil is to make your employees want to work for you, and that’s achieved through a good payment and a good work environment suited to you and what you do. Part of these two recruits’ job is also be a moving Human Resources office, looking for people to join the organization and referring them to Taylor. After all, wouldn’t you want to join a place where the employees are paid well and genuinely look happy?

…okay, them wearing masks and most likely looking sinister isn’t going to make a crowd of eager young people gather to take part in this shebang, but maybe that’s for the better.

Ah, Taylor has been doing what she said she’d do! She’s working on costumes and masks for the rest of the Undersiders! It’ll all have the same protections she has, and although it’s not easy, she’s doing her best. She’s using the fabric of the failed attempts to make the masks for her employees.

Charlotte took a black mask that would cover her eyes and the lower half of her face, adjusted it until the eyeholes were in place, and then set about fixing her hair

I’m…having a bit of a hard time picturing that mask. Also, are they wearing uniforms of some sort? I hope they are wearing uniforms! Because it’d be harder to believe a random person with casual clothes and mask is working for Skitter. Just something to keep in mind.

Once Charlotte and Sierra get going to do their job, Taylor returns upstairs to take a breath and reflect on how it’s like to be the new villain boss of this place.

I missed staying at the loft, when things were easy and I was free. I was happy with how things were going with my new recruits, but I was realizing that living with them would mandate changes to my lifestyle. There were appearances to maintain, and I couldn’t be seen slacking off or being a slob. I couldn’t sleep in or put off my shower until later in the day. I couldn’t let myself collapse in a sweaty heap after a hard morning run. I’d woken up at six in the morning to be sure that I could run, shower, dress and look like I was on top of things by the time they were up. After a late night, it left me feeling a little worn around the edges. I harbored some concerns about my ability to help Dinah if this kept up.

Wow do I know how that feels. I miss the days I could sleep in whenever I wanted. But yeah, most of the changes and new behaviors Taylor has to learn is all about keeping appearances, because even if they’re people of her age that I’m sure would understand the feeling of wanting to slack off, you just can’t show such things to your employees. Luckily that all is the kind of stuff you can get used to, except the not being able to sleep in part. That’s something you can’t really get used to, you’re doomed to feeling sleepy when you’re not 100% doing something.

It has been an unspecified amount of time since Bryce’s rescue, and I think it’s a few days, maybe a week. What happened with Alec, Cherish, Rachel and the Siberian was all in the same day, or two days at most, I noticed the visit to Panacea happened at the same time than the Siberian’s visit to Rachel. Taylor was worried Charlotte and Sierra would denounce her to the Protectorate, and spent those days ready to defend herself in case, say, Miss Militia burst in with a grenade launcher, but nothing happened, they returned, willing to be part of Taylor’s work. Nice!

Taylor’s work this morning is mostly working on the costumes, and watching over Sierra and Charlotte, making sure they wouldn’t be in danger, and monitoring them to some extent. Some people ignored the girls’ attempts to talk with them, something Taylor decided was fine for now. Better leave them to get used to the new situation, only if they continue to ignore her attempts to reach out she’ll take charge of that problem.

Apparently overwhelmed with the requests from his various rulers of the Brockton Bay territories, Coil had started delegating some of his people to act as intermediaries.

I wonder how many people are under Coil’s payroll as rulers of territories, other than the Undersiders. I doubt the Protectorate would allow him to take control of the city by installing rulers everywhere, but there must be enough for this to be a big step in the right direction, as far as his plans are concerned, right? The Travelers aren’t ruling any territories, and I don’t think there’s abundance of parahumans to work for him, but there may be a few unnamed ones working in other places of the city.

I got in contact with Mrs. Cranston, the intermediary he’d designated to me, and outlined what I needed. Waste removal was a big priority, as was clearing out the storm drains so the water could drain from the flooded streets. I let her know that my services were available if she wanted help identifying where the blockages were, or if the trash removal teams needed protection from interference.

So basically, the rulers of the territories are expected to do most of the work when it’s about improving the conditions of their places, as if they’re the mayors of tiny cities. That’s kind of neat. Some of the Undersiders will do better than others, that’s for sure – I can’t picture Rachel calling anyone to tell them about blockage in the storm drains.

Some time passed, and Taylor receives a call from Charlotte. There are two families leaving because of a rat infestation.

Of course. The trash would offer a steady diet to vermin, and the flooding would deter many of their natural predators. The rodent population had exploded, and it could easily be getting to the point where it was interfering with people’s daily lives.

Must be one of the problems Taylor described, those that stem from the waste removal need and the clogged storm drains.

There’s something mundanely awesome about Taylor taking this in her own hands. She goes to clear a rodent infestation, wearing her costume and all! It’ll deliver the message she’s ready to help the community here, even with problems as seemingly menial as a rat infestation. Already attacking the rodents with her insects, Taylor steps out of her hideout and walks there. Will there be any rats left by the time she gets there? I’d be more concerned about them returning. It’s a possibility, I think.

On the way there, Grue calls Skitter, telling her he’s on his way to talk with her.

So he was already on the way when he called? I wasn’t sure what to think about that. It suggested it was a social call with the assumption I would be okay with it, which I didn’t mind, but that didn’t really fit his personality. More likely there was something that he wanted to discuss with me in person.

Eh…it’s true things are more or less okay between Skitter and Grue now, but I still have a bit of a hard time imagining him going to see her just to shoot the breeze. This most likely is related to some urgent matter. It could be about the visit Regent and Heckpuppy received. That’s definitely something the rest of the Undersiders would want to hear about.

…say, I hope Skitter will make her bugs move away the hundreds of dead rodents somehow, because that’s a huge biological danger. I thought she was making them run away, not outright killing as many as she could – although that will make it harder for the rodent population to grow again, yeah. All the owners of the house can do is watch the clouds of bugs hover and get into the house.

If I thought Skitter was the mischievous sort, I’d think she was all stealthy while arriving just because she wanted to mess with them, hah.

“Is this some sort of game to you!? We were prepared to leave, and you keep us from getting our things? Add another infestation to the one that’s already there!?”

Apparently they weren’t convinced by Charlotte’s arguments that she was going to help, and I can’t say I blame them – the way this was described, it was almost like the stuff of nightmares, clouds of insects hovering over your house and what not. I’ll give this man credit, he has guts, challenging Skitter to a fair fight. I hope it won’t come to that, that they’ll see all Skitter’s doing is helping them – not that the impromptu rat extermination will guarantee they’ll stay, I think.

To gain some time to show what she’s doing, Skitter makes a kid count to one hundred, and hurries up the work, gathering the dead rats and carrying them out of the house, parading right in front of the family and all. Quite a morbid thing to see, but it’ll get the message across about what Skitter just did.

I knew I wouldn’t quite have enough time to clear out the entire house of the rat corpses, so I cheated by hauling the rats through the walls, into the unoccupied neighbor’s residence and out the kitchen window at the back of that building.

Hah! I’m glad it was unoccupied, or else Skitter would have more irate people wanting to punch the daylights out of her.

The last of the rat infestation was carried out when the one-hundred count was over, at which point Skitter turns to the angry patriarch and tells him they can fight if he wants. Having see what she had done and that the vermin complaint was gone, he doesn’t, although I doubt he likes Skitter more than he did before.

One of the mothers was the one who asked for help, so Skitter talks with her about what there’s to be done now. Sterilize everything! Oh, yes, please do. I like rats, but I sure would sterilize the heck out of the house if I had found out there used to be a few hundred nesting there. The problem is that this family doesn’t have the means to do all that, nor the money to replace everything that needs to be replaced. Good thing Skitter is here! She’ll get things in order.

Living in this situation has been a major ordeal for everyone here. Not only they have no utilities, all they have is rainwater and rice, and the propane tank they had received is almost depleted. It’s possible other neighbors nearby are in the same situation. Major respect for everyone here, I know I’d be so restless in such situation. Skitter is going to get them supplies and clothing, and even doctors to check them just in case. Leptospirosis isn’t something to take lightly, yeah.

The mother, bless her enduring soul, is worried about having to pay back for all this help, so of course Skitter tells her it’s all okay – she’s not here to make herself be some sort of loan shark.

“Thank you,” she said, again. I felt bad for feeling the way I did, but I thought her gratitude was a little muted for what I was giving her.

Oh, come on, Skitter, what did you expect? Did you think she’d fall to her knees, open her arms to the sky and bellow ‘oh, thank you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!’? Who would do that?

Since all is fine here, Skitter is finally free to go talk to Grue, who’s watching from nearby, and is amused that Skitter is being an exterminator. She defends her actions by saying doing this will help solidify her powers, making the people want to support her. That’s depending a bit too much on people’s gratitude, but eh, there’ll always be some people who will want to make amends and get rid of the proverbial red in their ledgers, just so they’re not indebted to Skitter anymore.

Grue thinks that man is resentful towards Skitter because he wanted to protect the families, and then this ‘little girl’ arrived and got rid of the problem in, what, fifteen minutes? It’s egg on his face, from his perspective. When Skitter muses about recruiting him so he’d have the power to help his family and other people – no way he’d accept – Grue says he’d be intolerable, that he’d question her every move and overall be a pain in the neck. Hm. Good analysis.

As expected, every Undersider is taking their job as rulers in a different way each.

“Regent and I are going on the offensive. I’ve got Aisha and I making constant, coordinated attacks against enemies in my territory, terrorizing groups with attacks from the cover of my darkness, or from someone they can’t even remember fighting. Regent’s got a squad of Coil’s soldiers with him, and he’s tracking and kidnapping the leaders of enemy groups and gangs, using his power to control them and then having them sabotage their own operations, or start fights with other groups that leave both almost totally wiped out. Then he cleans up the mess.”

“And us girls?”

“Lisa’s running the shelter, and she says she’s doing it to get more info, but I think she doesn’t mind how it connects her to the community there, either. You, too, are almost nurturing in how you’re treating the people in your territory. And you’re acting like you’re getting that aspiring superhero thing out of your system. Or entrenched deeper into it. I can’t tell.”

He’s not kidding, that’s definitely being on the offensive. I’m sure it’s very effective, too. Tattletale’s way of dealing with her territory isn’t too different from Taylor’s way, Rachel’s way is...uh...well she’s not interested in ruling over her territory, I’m sure all she wants is to be left alone with her dogs. The people in her territory are still very unlucky.

Also yeah! She’s being nurturing, and it’s because that’s just how she is, she has standards. She’s not going to force a reign of terror unless the people in her newly-claimed terrain forces her to. Skitter will be ruthless towards her enemies, no doubt about that, so why not to be kind and ‘nurturing’ to the residents of her territory? It’ll work better this way when it’s recruiting time.

Grue thinks the differences is because of the genders, Skitter thinks it’s because of the powers. No, I’m pretty sure it’s because of the personalities. Grue takes good care of those he cares about and it’s not like he has any reason to care about the civilians in his turf. Regent is a sociopath to some extent, so of course he doesn’t care about improving their living situation. Heckpuppy is...uh, well I think that one’s pretty obvious. Tattletale’s a rather empathic person, thanks partly to her power and partly because she can actually be rather nice. I don’t think I have to explain how Skitter is like, but yeah, this all fits her.

“Maybe. But… no,” he changed his mind after thinking for a second. “I think both you and Lisa could be a lot more aggressive. It kind of worries me that you aren’t.”

They started recently, I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to make big power moves. Grue and Regent are moving pretty fast, and Skitter is already doing well in terms of repelling hostile forces from outside, judging by what happened with those thirty-or-something Merchants from an arc ago. I’m sure when it’s needed they’ll get aggressive. This isn’t the only concern Grue has, though, he’s also worried Skitter won’t get profit from her territory.

“He has his own money. Money that he has to devote time and attention to earning. If your territory never starts earning for him and just becomes some black hole that sucks up tens of thousands of dollars of his money each week, you think he’s going to be okay with that?”

I don’t think there’s anything to worry about on that regard. Coil’s controlling and stuff, but he’s not worried about getting loads of money. Sure, he’s not going to be happy about throwing cash into a bottomless well, but he can get even more loads of money anytime he wants. Skitter may want to look for ways to get money, though. Just in case. No peddling drugs or asking protection money, I doubt she’d do such things.

“I can get all of the people in my territory onto Coil’s side. And I have over three hundred and fifty thousand dollars I can put towards infrastructure here.”

I don’t mean to demean Skitter’s efforts, but I really doubt the people in this territory will be onto Coil’s side, ever. Not only he’s this nebulous mastermind figure that if he showed himself in front of everyone he’d become the poster boy for those villains you would immediately distrust – skintight black faceless costume with a snake print from head to toe doesn’t scream ‘nice guy’, you know – I’m sure everyone would immediately assume he has some ulterior motive. It’s easier to trust Skitter because she’s getting involved, she’s doing things with her own hands, Coil wouldn’t do such thing.

Also, three hundred and fifty thousand dollars is nothing when it’s about infrastructure. That money’s going to be gone in no time.

Once Grue points out Skitter’s plans won’t happen quickly at all, she has to acknowledge that, and feels dejected. Coil isn’t going to let Dinah go over a start, that’s for sure. Nor...once the territory is already going well. The only time he’s going to do it is once the city is under his control, and it’s not like he has any intentions of doing it. She may be putting a bit too much stock on Coil’s , uuuuh, sense of honor? Not going to work.

Anyway, onto more grave matters! And it’s just what I expected, it’s about the Slaughterhouse Nine visiting them. Okay, it’s not exactly what I thought, but it’s close enough. There’s no mention of Rachel getting visited, and they know someone in Coil’s headquarters and Hookwolf got contacted too. I should have guessed they’d have this much information, what with Tattletale being so good at gathering information. It’s only matter of time before they find out about the Siberian’s visit, thanks to Tattletale and because I doubt Heckpuppy will hide that wolf.

“And at the PRT offices? Shadow Stalker?”

“As good a guess as any. We’re not sure where she wound up.”

Good question. I had completely forgotten about Shadow Stalker! Now that I think about it, if I had remembered her, I’d have thought the Slaughterhouse Nine would try to recruit her, but they didn’t. Last time I knew anything about her, police had arrived to her house after her life was thoroughly destroyed. Maybe she’s not in Brockton Bay anymore. Well, no surprise there, Regent threatened her quite well, unbeknown to everyone except him. If she’s somewhere in the city, he’d know. Heck, she was extremely zealous regarding her role as a vigilante-y parahuman, but I don’t know if she’d join. Not that her personality and stuff would stop her from getting a visit, if that group truly wanted to.

“So what does this mean?”

“It means Hookwolf is calling together a meeting of the local powers that be. Crook, criminal, mercenary and warlord. We have to decide if we want to go.”

Ah, he’s taking action! Good for him, he wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to have to get help. Maybe this way they can know who was visited, perhaps that information could be useful in some way? Not that the Undersiders immediately agree about going – it may be a trap, or a way for Hookwolf to get rid of the competition. They’re wrong, but there are lots of reasons to be wary.

The problem is that if they don’t go, they’ll miss information they should know, and asking secondhand through Coil – if he goes – or anything like that doesn’t guarantee they’ll find out anything, because whoever they talk to may withhold information. Iiiiii can’t decide if going has more benefits than not going, honestly. I should go, if only to have the information.

...if Coil wants them to go do they really have any option? I don’t think Coil would take kindly to them not going. Better spare yourselves the trouble and just go. Besides, as Skitter says, the powers of everyone who would be present could work together to defend and attack back to some extent. But, you know, with all this talk about the Slaughterhouse Nine maybe attacking, now I’m thinking maybe they will. It’d go a long way into establishing them as major threats – not that they haven’t been plenty of established as a threat yet, you know what I mean.

“But if Tattletale is right, and Hookwolf isn’t on the side of the Slaughterhouse Nine, if we can trust Skidmark to have the basic common sense to back the rest of us up if they attack-”

Ask Dinah what are the odds of Skidmark backing you and everyone else up. I’m almost certain it’s an amazingly tiny percentage.

Skitter wants to go, and part of the reason why she wants to go is because going would heighten their reputation as villains to fear, and whatever’s said in that meeting will be useful. Guess that’s settled! This is where this arc is going to now!

“Why do I get the feeling your decision here is motivated by your rushed attempts to get more control, more rep and finish this phase of our territory grab as soon as possible?”

“Because it is.”

I kind of have the feeling what Grue said to Skitter may have influenced it too. Grue would have decided not to go, if it had been up to them, and he’d have used this time to make sure the territory that belonged to him would be alright. But since it’s not up to him, and the situation is critical, well, better go, yeah?

The meeting is tonight. And since I’m not going to be able to read more for today, I better leave that for next time.

Next time: in seven updates

#worm #worm liveblog #book liveblog #story liveblog #liveblog

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Cobra Kai Showrunners Surprised the Emmys Consider the Show a Comedy

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Cobra Kai was already no stranger to the Television Academy’s Emmy Awards, having been nominated in previous years for its karate-centric stunts. However, the recently announced list of nominees for the 73rd annual Emmy Awards yielded the richest prospective accolade yet, a nomination for Outstanding Comedy Series. While the nod is clear mainstream validation for the unlikely Netflix-migrated franchise revival series, it does seem like an odd designation to the creative team of Josh Heald, Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, who don’t even consider the series a comedy.

The question of whether or not Cobra Kai is accurately categorized as a comedy is subjective, especially since the series operates as a drama—albeit bountifully buoyed by moments of comic relief and quixotic absurdity in certain characters. Yet, those comedic elements were necessary, since being a sequel to The Karate Kid movies—dramas, but a collective embodiment of the over-the-top 1980s—initially suggested an ingrained, drama-detracting campiness that needed to be confronted. However, as Heald explains to THR, the comedy label is nevertheless surprising, considering the action and pathos packed into the series, and it might minimize the achievements of the actual comedies nominated.

“We went into Emmy-nomination morning without expectations that we would get nominated for best comedy series,” says Heald. “First of all, our show is a mix of so many genres. We are up for consideration as a comedy by virtue of our half-hour-ish running time. And there’s plenty of comedy in the show, but it’s not a standard comedy, so it’s hard for us to look at the landscape of other comedies and come in with expectations of ‘We should be exalted because this is the funniest thing in the world.’ We are three comedy writers who are doing something that is the least joke-driven writing experience yet for us.”

Cobra Kai Season 4 Trailer Teases Tournament Showdown for December

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The surprise category nod for “Outstanding Comedy Series” saw Netflix’s Cobra Kai joined by Black-ish (ABC), Emily in Paris (Netflix), Hacks (HBO Max), The Flight Attendant (HBO Max), The Kominsky Method (Netflix), Pen15 (Hulu), and Ted Lasso (Apple TV+). Indeed, with half-hour dramas remaining a rarity in the television landscape, the comedy categorization likely boils down to, as Heald implies, the Television Academy’s desire for apples-to-apples competition between shows with a similar runtime. Yet, one could argue that it could also be attributed to today’s altered state of television comedies, in which the age-old concept of the weekly network sitcom is floundering in the face of bingeable streaming offerings, which often take advantage of being outside the censorship grasp of the FCC to showcase more mature themes and adult-aimed content. Indeed, notwithstanding Black-ish (the only proper sitcom in the group,) or the sanguine Ted Lasso, there are substantial arguments to make for all of the nominees to be considered dramas, at least in their own unique ways.

“We really were watching the nominations hoping that there were some breakthrough nominations in other categories,” recalls Heald. “We’re thrilled our sound department got a couple of big ones because, man, do they do a lot of work. And our stunt team. We were thrilled every year that they got recognized because they go through quite a bit to put what they put on the screen, and working with the actors, and getting into a place where it looks pretty seamless and pretty impressive given time constraints, budget, production schedule and everything else.”

This year’s Emmy announcement saw the three-season-deep Cobra Kai’s big “Outstanding Comedy Series” acknowledgement complemented by breakthrough nods for the esoteric categories of “Outstanding Sound Editing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) and Animation” and “Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) and Animation,” and one for stunts in a category that now bears the name, “Outstanding Stunt Performance.” Interestingly, the show’s nomination in the latter category actually showcases a potentially-indicative erasure of the comedy label, with which the show has long been affixed by the Academy. Indeed, its 2018 and 2019 stunt nominations—for Seasons 1 and 2, respectively—were each for the broad category of “Outstanding Stunt Coordination for a Comedy Series or a Variety Program.” However, the curious comedy designation obviously remains for the other nods. Of course, that is not to say that Heald is ungrateful.

“[W]e’ve never had a chip on our shoulders of like, ‘They’re never going to nominate us, and we’re the best show in the world,’” explains Heald. “We went into that morning with eyes wide open and always hoping that you get someone giving you a pat on the back and saying, ‘Hey, well done.’ It’s all meaningful to us that the show is connecting and landing with people.”

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Regardless, the buzz-worthy Cobra Kai is riding an unprecedented wave of momentum as it heads towards its fourth season, which will be the second frame of the former YouTube Premium series to premiere exclusively on its new home of Netflix. The series recently enticed fans with the hyped return of The Karate Kid Part III villain Terry Silver, and a brief teaser trailer, which revealed a release window set for this December.

The post Cobra Kai Showrunners Surprised the Emmys Consider the Show a Comedy appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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mass-effect-a-companions-react · 7 years

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Sass Master Ryder,Pathfinder of Burns

Romanced companions react to Ryder having no chill

~~~~~~~~~

Jaal- He and his darling one were at a Nexus party, although it is fairly obvious that neither of them wanted to be there.

Even so,Ryder kept up a smiling facede despite wanting to shoot a wall repeatedly. Jaal, however, could not physically contain his annoyance. Finally the two said "hello" and made there rounds enough to retreat off into a corner balconey drinking and complaining about other people to themselves.

Suddenly, an obnoxious laugh rang off from behind them, and Ryder groaned, recognizing it. It was their hometown terror, Celeste,the one person they despised more than anyone in the entire universe, or in this case universes. Not because She was specifically a bully to Ryder, but because she always made it a point to talk about herself and her achievements and how much better she is,was or will be compared to every body else.

When Ryder had heard Celeste had joined the Initiative, they had hoped and prayed they'd never have to be on the same planet as her, let alone city. But there she stood, in all her sneering glory.

"Well,Well Ryder." She smirked "Still getting drunk in the back of parties? I see your slobishness and tastelessnes have stayed in tact all the way out here."

Jaal felt himself getting angry, but before he could say anything, Ryder quipped out "Unlike your engagement."

Celeste spulttered out as Ryder continued.

"Word on the street says that he dropped you like a sack of bricks as soon as he got here. "First to be married in Andromeda" you always bragged. Well congratulations, you the first person I know to be dumped in Andrmeda."

Celeste turned red and stormed away, while Jaal just chuckled at Ryder's firey comeback.

"Well,played,my darling one." He cooed as he wrapped an arm around them. ".....although, I have yet to see these word's you speak of." He added quietly looking at the ground.

"Jaal..." Ryder began with a tired sigh, and he immediately caught on.

"Idiom?"

"Idiom."

Liam- Sara and Liam were attending a sort of fundraiser event to raise awarness and money for the cause of the Initiative restores and repairment. Every thing was going quite smooth, Ryder was smiling and talking out every cent that she could to do her job as pathfinder and better not only the lives of humans, but all the species in Andromeda.

Everything was going smoothly, and Ryder was doing her very best to make a good impression and hold her tounge. Untill she got to an old fashioned half human Asari Heiress, with enough cover up scandals on her to make a best selling series of novels.

Liam and Sara had walked up to the Heiress and her date, which also had the company of 3 other men. She stood their quietly, as the men talked.

When Sara and Liam walked right up to them,she paid no mind...until Sara started to speak.

"Hello," She said sticking out her hand "I'm Ryder, human Pathfinder." Before the men could say, the Heriess pushed down her hand with a gasp.

"Don't you know, your never supposed to open your mouth in the presence unless asked?"

And out of reflex, without missing a beat the sass came pouring out of Sara as she repied with "Oh! Like you do with your legs?"

The Heiress chocked on air to which Sara mutterd underneith her breath about an uneeded demonstration. The Heiress obviously heard and had to go exuse her self.

Liam was awfully quite during this, but thats because he was laughing so hard he couldn't breath.

He weezed out an ariy "Damn,Sara. You cant say that to an aristocrat." Before leaning over and clutching his stomach, audible laughs coming in short breaths.

Sara had to remind him to breath.

Gil- Gil is also a sass master, but nothing could prepare him for this level of savagery. This one is placed into the future after Jill had the baby, a boy by the name of Alec Ryder II, (This is my Headcanon, let me have it). They were having a family Outing, which actually just consisted of Gil visiting mechanics shops for new part, and Scott trailing behind him like a sad,lost puppy with Alec strapped to his chest because Gil has all the credits and he wants to get Icecream.

"Come on Gil!" Scoott whined "Ive waited over 600 years to have Icecream again. The shops right there."

"Just a little longer, Scott." Gil chuckled out. "Let me find this last part, then we'll go for icecream. Scouts honor, love." He pecked Scott on the lips before continuing to shop.

"You were never a Scout,Gil." Scott chuckled.

Suddenly a bystander made a noise of distaste at the husbands affections. "What a disgusting desplay." He sneered "Such a horrific sight should not be seen by a child."

"Your absolute right," Ryder gasped with mock offensiveness "Sir you. should leave, lest you make my son cry with that mug of yours."

The man let out an actual offensed gasp before storming out.

"I changed my mind!" Gil laughed out "Ice cream now. You earned it, big boy." He grabbed Ryder by the hand and lead him to the parlor, which happened to be in the same direction the man stompped off in.

"Hey!"Gil called out after him? "Would you like me to buy you an Icecream for that burn?"

Suvi- This is also in the future, at a PTA meeting.The school was built and expanded upon on Aya, and it has mixed classes that teach all the basic subjects while still educating the children about the other species. Sara and Suvi had adopted Agrarian twins, Ellen and Alec, which were hanging out with Uncle Scott. The children were gone and the claws came out. The girls just let it play out, not really getting involved.

...Until homophobia got thrown into the mix over the "Safety,Security, and purity of the children."

"It is not good for the children," a mother protested. "They are young and impressionable. What if my son see's this and grows up, only to run off with another man like a hoodlim."

People where angry now. Suvi was angry,the anagra were angry. Who was she to lable love? But before anyone else could say something, Sara responded in a calm tone.

"Grow up and run off with another,

Huh? That’s funny. Isn’t that what your ex-husband did,Linda?"

Cue a collective room off "Oooooooo's" as Linda left earily

"Tell Frank and Denis that as pathfinder, Id be glad to attend their wedding!"

Cora- She and Scott were at a Nexus Gala , and Scott was stalking the snack table and Cora spoke with guests and superiors, celebrating there success and making plans for future colonies. Scott couldnt really care less as the moment, and instead concentrated on stacking a tower full of what he hoped are brownies. Suddenly, Tesla, an officer Scott could not stand came up behind him and tsked

"Isn't that your forth plate of food?" She scoffed.

"Dont know," Ryder shrugged, sarcasm dripping from his tone "Isnt that your 3rd husband?" He jesters towards the man Cora was talking to, or atlesst trying to talk to as she choked on her champagne. Apparently they were in ear shot.

She slapped him on the arm for it, but still smiled.

PeeBee- Oh, she is so glad that POC recorded this.She and Ryder were grabbing a drink with POC in tow, when a rather high strung Asari obviously nearing the end of her Matron stage sat next to them and demanded a drink. They ignored her mostly, laughing and drinking among themselves, until she got tipsy and felt the need to comment on PeeBee "as an Asari."

"As an Asari," she sneered "One would think you'd now to dress yourself by now. You've had 100 years of practice yet you wear that? You look like a hobo, nothing matches."

And without missing a beat, Ryder replied. "You know what else doesnt match? The father's of your children. Or that ugly ass hat your wearing."

"It is a traditional Matriarch head wrap!" She gasped.

"It's hideous." Ryder retorted as she walked away.

PeeBee choked on her whsikey, but still gave an infectious laugh.

"My hero."she playfully cooed "Next rounds on me."

Reyes- Firstly, this dude had to have a titanium balls to even walk up to these two. It was some washed up has-been politician hoping to gain some shadey connections to get back in the game. He had asked around, and paid off people with the last of his dirty money to find this "Charlatan".

The real one.

He had to get past decoy after fruad after decoy, but he finally found Reyes. Needless to say he did well to hide his shock at the fact that the King of Kadara port was hidding out in the backrooms of Tartarus locking lips with the Human pathfinder.

The politician stood patiently as the guard announced the guest, causing Reyes to groan and reluctantly break the kiss.

"Yes?" He hissed, obviously annoyed at the politician's presence,who seemed unphased by his hostility. He stated his case and offered a proposition, to which Reyes consider. "Intresting," Reyes spoke with a smirk "But,Ill have to consort with my companion here. Not only is Ryder the Queen/Second King of Kadara port, but a Pathfinder as well. Your re-initiation will effect the Initiative, no doubt."

The politician seemed annoyed,but let the two have a brief moment. It was there Reyes learned exactly why he had been replaced. The politician made several baf calls thats resulted in major deaths and civilian risks, had been in countless scandals ,and ignored Judicial rullings for his own gain. He'd screw the Initiative (and ultiamtly Ryder) sideways which will undoubtedly screw funding and supply to sevral plantes and outposts, including Kadra Port (and Ultimately Reyes)

Reyes refused after learning this and had him black listed .The politician grew hostile at rejection and had to be physically removed from the room by the guards, lest Reyes shoot him and get kicked out by Umi.

"YOU!" he spat out accusingly at Ryder "This is your fault! I almost had him! You need to mind your own business and stay out of grown men's conversations, little girl/boy."

"And you," Ryder replied with mockery just as the politician was being hualed out the door "Need to stay out of married women's beds. But neither of us will be doing what we "need" to any time soon, now will we?"

"Damn," Reyes laughed "Your hot when your sassy." Then he leaned over to picky up where they left off

The politician was still found dead few days later though, and Reyes only halfway feind innocence.

Vetra(And Lexi, I guess)- Ah, no one has more sass than a sibling. Sassing each other is hardwired into evry sibling relationship. Ryder was visiting thier twin, who was awake, but still on bed rest. They talking for a bit, but that soon turned into a sassing contest. And ecen even though is was all in could fun, the amount of shade being thrown could blot out the sun. Currently they were talking about their teenage years before getting old enough to join the military,only vaguely aware of Lexi giving Vetra a check up

"Atleast my knees weren't always ashy." The twin quipped.

"Well no duh," Ryder scoffed playfully in a sing-song voice "You applied extra lotion cause you were always on them."

The twin gasped and put hand of mock hurt on thier chest, then began wacking their sibling with a pillow when they started naming people.

"Ryder!" Vetra chuckled out as lexi smiled shook her head,making a mental note to keep track of both twins sexual histories.

"That's below the belt, Bro/Sis!" The twin exclaimed as they continued wacked the other with a pillow

"Oh,like you were with Terry Maclamra behind the bleachers in junior year?" They ended up getting hit even harder.

Vetra had to stay back longer because she laughed so hard she could breath, and swears she saw a tear roll down Lexi's cheek as the leand on the table and bowed her head,hiding the silent laugh.

#this is why liam makes all that ice #hot damn #sara ryder #scott ryder #suvi anwar #jaal ama darav #cora harper #liam costa #gil brodie #vetra nyx #peebee #reyes vidal #mod di #lexi t'perro #nsfw-ish #kinda

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