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#that rocking horse from that one episode :)
derek-draws-stuff · 4 months
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may I humbly request Loui or Texas art 👁️👁️
*its fine if not lol dw*
I can humbly answer your request :) (added in some Florida because why not)
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Shhhh, they’re busy conspiring against Gov 🤫
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solecize · 4 months
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  ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision.
despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. jungkook x reader 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. swearing 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 5k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.  inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up.
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part one: the storm, the envelope and the granddaughter ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ next. masterlist
i. the storm
  for the first time in a long time, your eyes flutter open to the golden curtains of the sun and not the blaring noise of a royalty-free iphone alarm. the rays are harsh and welcoming all at once, as you blink away the stinging sensation and adjust to the muddy path ahead. there was no mistake about it, the town withstood an unforgiving storm last night. however, mud coating the wheels of your bus seemed to be the only indication, as you became distracted with the kiss of summer from the skies above and the clear cerulean painted across cotton candy clouds. 
  memories of amber valley became bygone over the years, as memories always do. but, amber valley seemed to be a long lost chase you haven’t won in years and the older you became, the town disappeared entirely. it was like the smell of your favourite scented markers and the feeling rumbling at the pit of your stomach on the first day of school - nothing but faint ideas from your childhood. 
  “we’re not going to visit grandpa this summer?”
  at age twelve, you couldn’t fathom missing out on the midsummer festival or being away from your horse, marshmallow. for that age, absolutely everything felt like the end of the world, whether it was missing an episode of your favourite show or not getting an invite to a classmate’s sleepover. it was a little different for you, though, as you looked at your dad’s dull eyes. they’d been dull since the divorce went through that february. they never shone since and that’s how you knew things weren’t going to be the same.
  he shook his head at you, but never met your eyes. “no, i’m sorry. he’s coming up for to the city at the end of july, though - “ it would be later in life, precisely at age 25 and months removed from your grandfather’s funeral, when you would learn that he only began coming up to the city to regularly see a hepatologist, “ - so you can see him on your birthday.”
  you did, in fact, see grandpa for your birthday and for the rest of the years to come. he laughed with his whole body and his smile never failed to reach his eyes when he gave you updates on the farm and amber valley. grandpa did his best, but time passing came with you losing your bright eyes whenever he spoke fondly of his town. it was inevitable, when the big city enveloped your teenage self and you became more concerned with interests that come with the turn of youth - clothes, parties and boys.
  now, there was absolutely nothing wrong with any of those ideas. you stood by this at heart, embracing femininity and defending it alongside your love for science and life. you grew up and began wearing high heels to dates, to university lectures and finally, to your 9-5 on the busiest corner of your city’s financial district. you had long outgrown your riding boots, likely tucked away at the back of your closet in your studio apartment. you began just politely smiling and nodding when your grandfather shared local amber valley gossip about individuals who were just names to you now, also tucked away at the back of your mind.
  even though you eventually grew past the age where you needed your parents’ permission to make the trek over to amber valley, past the period of time where your mother refused to speak to your father to coordinate your trip to see your grandfather, the idea of returning to the valley never crossed your mind. like summer camp, it was something you thought you didn’t need anymore and preferred spending your school-less months with your friends in your hometown, working away at your first part-time job and getting your first ever drivers’ license. a seventeen year old city girl wouldn’t want to waste her summer at her grandfather’s old farm.
  “mrs. oh’s husband just left the valley for his deployment overseas. may god watch over that family.” it was one of the last times you saw grandpa, late on christmas eve when everyone else went to bed. your mom, her new husband and your little sister had bade their goodnight’s by 10pm and left the two of you sipping honey lemon tea by the fireplace. 
  your mom’s new husband made a lot of money. that was one of the first things you noticed about him and it was so different from the two bedroom inner city apartment you were raised in. it was certainly different from your grandpa’s farmhouse, where the television only got three channels and all of the windows never fully opened because they would fall apart entirely if you pulled too far. you and your grandpa mused these thoughts on their white leather couch, when the conversation slowly moved back to how the old farm was going.
  you tried to sound interested. “oh really?” the reality was you couldn’t remember if the oh family was the one that ran the general store or the one couple who seemed to be constantly fighting, on the verge of divorce.
  grandpa grunted in response. “mhm. thankfully, they have jungkook helping out around the store. ah, the wasted potential with that boy, but such a kind heart.”
  “jungkook..?”
  “oh, you remember him! the two of you would always bike by the beach,” he said. “i’ll never forget, you two would always come back and show me the seashells you collected that day. always made a competition out of everything.”
  he chuckled and you joined in, hiding the despondence for being unable to recall. grandpa didn’t seem to notice, though, continuing to discuss amber valley. cranberries and pumpkins were the strongest crops of the fall, mayor kim was re-elected for a third time and something about the town soon getting their first chain convenience store since amber valley’s founding. then, grandpa’s face lost his smile and a serious expression formed on his ageing features. he asked you about your job and how life was for you.
  by now, you’re 22 and working an entry-level position with nothing but a bachelor’s in your pocket and a hunger to climb the corporate ranks. like any fresh college graduate, there was no meaning to life if it weren’t for paying overpriced rent, mimosa sundays, dating apps, and maybe remembering to go to the gym every now and then. the life you lived was loud from city traffic and heavy from looming student debt. 
  “my job is..okay. i’m just starting out and i’m really just trying to do my best,” you replied.
  grandpa, still with a serious look, placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. “it gets stressful, doesn’t it?”
  you opened your mouth to respond again, but failed to find your voice this time. your stress was found in a growing caffeine addiction and getting too tired to give your parents a call on the weekends. adulthood was everything you expected and nothing you expected. you secured a job that you dedicated four years of studies to and just like that, was pushed into a world of hustle and bustle and nothing in between. once this realization settled, you tried to hide it by cracking a faint smile. grandpa saw through it, though - he always did. 
  “well, darling, if it ever does get too stressful..” you became confused when grandpa reached into his back pocket and pulled out a sealed envelope. he handed it to you and you turned it over, finding no writing other than your name in your grandfather’s decorative penmanship.
  you asked, “what is this, grandpa?”
  he finally smiled again, but shook his head. “a gift. it’s yours for when you find that you need a break from the challenges of life.”
  grandpa only gave gifts from the heart. only, this time, you wouldn’t know that he was giving you his entire heart and soul. you had taken this envelope and slid it in the drawer of your desk at home, where you tirelessly worked after hours, even after returning from the office. it was hidden away, but always poked your curiosity at the back of your mind. however, you restrained from opening it, even when it eventually became one of the last things you had from grandpa. 
  ii. the envelope
the only time you took the pristine envelope out of your desk was on the day of his funeral. 
  it was no surprise that grandpa wanted to be buried in amber valley, his home for over fifty years and his birthplace. it was once your heart’s home, too, once upon a time when you were a child skipping rocks by the town river and rode your horse through mustard-hued sunflower fields. for that, you were nervous to return and confront the realities of your coming of age in the face of a town that only lived in your memories, sickeningly reminding you of the years that have gone past.
  wedged between your mother and father who had only began speaking to one another as of three years ago, you stared blankly at the onyx coffin that, in about 20 seconds, was gone from your sight and lowered into the ground. it happened all too quick. you clenched your arm tighter, squeezing the envelope tucked underneath and protecting it from the rain. your very last summer in the valley was marked by constant rain and wind and once again, you greet the town amidst storms.
  the drive was quick, having gone directly to service after the three hour drive from the city. you couldn’t make much of the town through the gloom and suddenly, the valley was so much colder than you remember. like your being since your grandfather’s passing, it lost its colour. it was unwelcoming and felt like a punishment for your neglect over the years. amber valley was unforgiving as much as it was perfection. 
  you couldn’t make out much of the attendees through the gloom, either. many of them appeared absolutely devastated, sobbing and cold-faced at the goodbye of a beloved neighbour. your grandfather was always well-liked amongst the townspeople, helping out his friends with mundane tasks whenever he had free time away from the farm and shared his warm personality at community events. this was affirmed through the stories that were shared about him at the service, recognizable for his distinct good heart, but seemed so far away for you, having detached yourself from amber valley.
  “oh, an unfamiliar face! what’s your name, dear?” a man around your father’s age with salt and pepper hair was handing out hor d'oeuvres at the post-service gathering in the church basement. he seemed to be the most upbeat one in the room - though, it wasn’t saying much, considering the occasion.
  you told him your name, while looking around for either one of your parents. being in a room of strangers wasn’t your favourite activity, especially following a funeral. the last thing you wanted to do was socialize, feeling like you weren’t even in your own body all day. while you were saddened and to an extent, numb, you knew your grandfather’s passing was coming up. his illness was going to catch up to him and you spent months mentally preparing yourself for the day you would have to say goodbye. despite not being surprised, your grief was accompanied by the painful nostalgia of the town that raised you in the summertime.
  the man looked at you, appearing to search your face for something. “you’re the old man’s granddaughter? bunny?”
  the nickname almost made you flinch, having not heard it in so long that you were surprised you recognized it. you began searching the man’s face, too, also looking for some signs of familiarity. for so many years of your childhood, you were almost exclusively called this nickname by adults and friends alike.
  there wasn’t room for a response when the man pulled over another individual by his sleeve, merely attempting to walk by in peace. this one was a man closer to your age and you were too distracted by the glisten of his facial piercings to scan for recognition. the second thing you noticed the adornment of tattoos peeked from below his sleeve and trailed onto his hands. the third and final thing you noticed about him was how gentle his hands were. this was realized because the sight of this man made you drop whatever was in your own hands in surprise.
  the only thing you were holding was your grandfather’s envelope, no longer pristine and stained with a few raindrops. you noticed that you had been clutching onto this keepsake the entire service. you bent down to reach for it, when he also attempted to make the save for you. your hands brushed and you looked up at his eyes, suddenly taken away by confusion.
  “jungkook, you remember bunny?” 
  you forgot the older man was in your presence, as he was the one who pulled jungkook over in the first place. jungkook. this was the little boy you spent hours running around with all those years ago. although you seemed to forget when your grandfather had last brought him up, those moments began to rain down on you upon taking sight of him for the first time in years. you had barely looked, but it hit you.
  jungkook handed the envelope over to you and you cleared your throat, standing up properly and trying not to wobble on your favourite high heels. he also stood up and seemed to mirror your confusion, not understanding who was the person in front of him. you muttered a thank you and fixed an imaginary snag on your cardigan.
  “i just go by my first name now,” you said through a tight smile to both men, still feeling like your gut was punched in after hearing the nickname that your grandpa coined,
  “oh, of course. you’re all grown up now!” the man exclaimed. “do you remember me? mr. kim?”
  the truth was that you didn’t remember him by face, but instead remembered that your father mentioned a man of this name being the mayor. if he was the same person, mr. kim’s father was the previous town mayor, as well, and was your grandfather’s best friend before his own untimely passing. given his larger than life presence, it was same to assume that the man in front of you was the tiny valley’s politician.
  “mayor kim, of course.” you hoped you sounded convincing.
  jungkook was still standing to the side, the same confused look etched on his face. “you’re the girl that tricked me into eating mud that one time?” he blurted, as if an imaginary lightblub flashed above his head
  that took you by surprise and you almost snorted. “i didn’t trick you, you just went for it.” the quick snap back also took you by surprise, having left behind a bit of your normal self in the city before coming down to the valley for the funeral, as well as your instant recollection.
  somehow, this memory was clear as day and you could remember jungkook as a seven year old with a horrible bowl cut and missing teeth. you wore light-up sneakers and candy bracelets that day, sitting on the porch of your grandfather’s farmhouse with him and were exchanging dares to see who would give up first. maybe that was why your grandpa said you two were - 
  “ - always competitive,” jungkook said.
  although the two of you surely shared countless more memories, it was this one that stood against the test of time and it showed when it immediately hit you with a laugh. it took jungkook a second, too, but he eventually gave in and joined with his own. you hadn’t realized it until his swollen eyes became crescents in his giggles, but he seemed to be having his own trouble of a day.
  “there it is, jungkook! nice to see you finally cheer up a bit,” mayor kim encouraged and jungkook’s chuckle immediately fell back to a straight face, almost intentionally. you suspected that this was not the first time today that mayor kim was on his case.
  before mayor kim could add on, his attention gravitated towards something at the other end of the room. he sighed and set down the hor d'oeuvres, checking the time on his wrist dressed with gold. 
  “oh, i’m being called over,” he sighed and turned back to you. “it was a pleasure seeing you again, i hope to see you around town before you have to go back to the city.”
  swiftly, mayor kim weaved his way through the crowd and just like that, it was just you and jungkook.
  you took this opportunity to give jungkook an actual once over, comparing it to the faint image you had of this man from when you were children. undeniably, he was handsome, but you were more concerned with the fact that this was still the little boy you spent your summers with. he grew into his face and you didn’t realize that you accidentally said this out loud.
  jungkook looked as much taken aback as he was amused. “oh, you got jokes, huh? that’s what you learned growing up in the city?” he teased.
  “i didn’t mean it like that - “ you started, but he waved you off with a laugh.
  the conversation was a bit overwhelming, considering you were still stuck in a church basement following your grandfather’s funeral service and could not locate your parents anywhere. jungkook recognized this in your face and eased into a sympathetic smile. somehow, you felt okay enough around him to drop your tense shoulders for the first time that day.
  “i’m sorry, i should be giving my condolences. your grandpa was a loved man by everyone here.”
  looking around the room, it was clear. everyone had shared fond stories and were making toasts in his honour. you felt out of place, but more so because you felt like you should have been joining in with the attendees. instead of being a kind of extended family that once saw you grow up, these people were strangers. you weren’t sure if anyone recognized you, having tried to lay low and not draw any attention to yourself. the only times you seemed to have caught anyone’s eye was when you were sat beside your parents at the burial, but no one dared approach you then.
  “you were like a son to him, too,” you offered. it was true, given the amount of time you spent with jungkook as a child, maybe even going so far to call him your best friend at one point. 
  he let out a long breath, eyes moving to the enlarged portrait of your grandfather propped up on the wall. “that’s nice of you to say. i miss him already. i’m sure you feel the same.”
  you learned quickly that, in light of your disappearance from your grandfather’s farm over the years, jungkook was the one who began helping out and taking over what were your old chores. your grandfather was physically able, but he kept the young boy around for company and made feeding the chickens an excuse to have his presence. hearing this made your heart drop, feeling an unknown sense of regret that you didn’t know existed when it came to the farm.
  “it’s not like that!” jungkook cut in, seeing the tears well up in your eyes. “he would always talk about the two of you going on adventures in the city and how he loved spending time with you whenever he came up to visit. he knew that’s where your heart was.”
  you sniffled a bit, having already promised yourself to limit your breakdowns to two that day, and took a second to reel it in. “sorry…i don’t mean to - “ you sighed. 
  “it’s okay. it’s weird being back here, huh?” 
  it was weird. it was so damn weird that the air of amber valley stuck with you for the months following, like bubblegum in your hair and a melody on loop in your head. you couldn’t shake it. not when you were working an extra 20 hours overtime in a week, not when you became stuck in traffic everyday, and especially not when your boyfriend of three years dumped you because you “changed” so much since the start of the year.
  and, it was true. you changed a lot since your conversation with your grandfather on christmas eve, with his words echoing about the stressors of life everyday. it opened your eyes to how much you were really struggling and it wasn’t simply you who had changed, but your outlook on life. ever since you were twelve years old, everything shifted to the fastlane and years breezed by you in the blink of an eye. everything moved so fast and you never got a chance to catch your breath. one moment, you were 15, sneaking a sip of your first ever drink, and the next, you were 24 and drinking straight out of the wine bottle on a tuesday evening. you wondered how you suddenly found yourself jaded at a 9-5 black hole of a job that sucked out your energy and passions. 
  these days made you think about what truly deserved your energy and what truly were your passions. did you like your everyday routine of gluing on false lashes and slipping on pantyhose? were you happy, alone in your apartment with not even a cat to talk to? your parents had their own worlds and new lives to deal with and long stopped asking why you never call. your friends were co-workers, having no time to meet anyone new. you didn’t even have time for hobbies, given how tired you were every time you finished work and the amount of overtime you did.
  one thursday night, you arrived home from work at 10:13pm and decided you had enough. it was constraining, nearly strangling you with exhaustion everyday. you spent the entire day wondering was “it” was and when you kicked off your loafers by your doorstep, it hit you. this was what your grandfather was talking about.
  almost walking with fear of what was to come, you creeped over to your desk. after your grandpa’s funeral, his envelope no longer lived underneath manila folders in your drawer, but found a place on the surface. you kept it there, as it mocked you every time you opened up your work laptop after hours. you didn’t realize why you left it in plain sight, until this moment when you came to terms with the fact that you were reminding yourself of him.
  “if you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of change. the same thing happened to me, long ago. i’d lost sight of what mattered most in life. . . real connections with other people and nature. so i dropped everything and moved to the place where i truly belong.”
  it took you precisely two weeks to pack up your things after opening the envelope. nobody could convince you not to. your mother complained that you were wasting your degree and your father had concerns about the massive role you were about to take on all by yourself. it didn’t matter.
  two weeks later, you met amber valley and its sunlight for the first time in years, pretending that the storm ceased and the sun shone to welcome you back. 
  iii. the granddaughter
the sun faded quickly when you realized the bus dropped you off on a plain dirt road in the middle of nowhere. the movers took the rest of your belongings separately, so you were left with nothing but a duffel bag and a cell phone that couldn’t find any signal.
  “oops,” was all you could say. you didn’t think it was a crazy idea, that there would be service at the very least.
  it took you a few moments to let the situation settle in and for you to realize that you were abandoned in a place that was unfamiliar to you. was it unfamiliar? you looked around, seeing nothing but fields on fields and accepted that there was no way you could even try to remember where you were, even with the help of the maps app. you knew you made it to town, but you were certainly left at the farthest point of the borders. 
  and then, you heard it.
  it was over at least ten years since you last rode, but your ears perked up at the sound of a horse’s gallop naturally. you had to squint, but it was unmistakable.
  they were going in the other direction and they were going fast, so you had to think fast. you tried yelling and waving your arms, but quickly saw that it was useless. so, you dropped your bg and brought your hands to your mouth, releasing the loudest whistle that your vocal chords could handle.  
  the horse and its rider kept going and for a few seconds, you thought you lost hope. but, then, as you were about to pick up your bag in shame, you watched them take a wide turn back around. they were headed to you.
  you waved your arms back and forth again, affirming that you needed their attention. as they came closer, you could make out a figure of a man with chestnut brown hair peeking out underneath his cowboy hat. he wore medium wash, stained jeans and a plain white t-shirt. 
  “that was the loudest whistle i’ve ever heard,” he hollered, drawing closer to you.
  you shook your head bashfully. “didn’t even know i remembered how to do that.”
  “pretty sure the whole town heard. my name is namjoon, are you visiting someone here?”
  likely a few years older than you, you tried to recall someone named namjoon from your memories. his appearance didn’t ring a bell, so you were searching your brain for his name or if you heard it from somewhere.
  you told him your name and then squinted at him, pausing for several moments before speaking again. “are you. . .joonie?”  
his eyebrows shot up immediately, looking at you like he couldn’t understand what language you were speaking. “pardon me?”
  joonie. he was mayor kim’s eldest son, who was sent to a fancy arts camp every summer when you were younger. you only met him a few times throughout the years, as he often arrived back the same week you were due to leave your grandpa to go back to your parents, but one feature stuck in your mind always. his dimples. you thought you recognized namjoon’s polite smile and piecing it together with his name seemed to be the key. 
  “i’m pretty sure you’re mayor kim’s kid. i’m bad with faces, but you’re joonie, aren’t you?” the confidence in your voice was fuelled by the fact that no one really left amber valley. it was the kind of place where families would raise their children with the kids they grew up with themselves. 
  namjoon seemed to still be calculating your appearance in his head when you heard the faint noise of galloping once again. the two of you looked over to see another person on a horse who was looking around the field, likely looking for namjoon. the man in question brought his hand to his mouth and released a whistle similar to yours - though, you did gloat silently because yours was, in fact, louder.
  still, it was enough to get the person’s attention and they finally made eye contact with the two of you. they began approaching and you could make out that it was a man’s figure. still, even with how small of a town amber valley was, you were surprised to see who it was.
  “jungkook!”
  “namjoon, i just spent fucking 15 minutes looking for you - “
  you tried to keep your expression neutral when you saw that it was actually jungkook on the horse. he wore an all-black outfit of cargo pants and a wife beater tank that exposed his tattooed arms. it made it hard to keep your expression the same.
“oh, hey. did you come to collect something from your grandpa’s property?” jungkook suddenly ignored his previous frustration at namjoon, cleared his throat and dropped his voice by an octave, in addition to cutting his voice’s volume by a cool half. he swiftly hopped off his horse, too cleanly to be casual.
  namjoon’s confusion only doubled, darting eyes between the two of you. “sorry, have you guys met?” he didn’t miss the way that jungkook straightened his shoulders without even trying to be subtle.
  you missed it, though, having cut away your stare to double check if your phone managed to get any signal. none. sighing, you shook your head at jungkook, as he began explaining to namjoon.
  “ - we called her bunny. remember bunny?” he nudged towards you.
  namjoon looked back at you again and concern formed. “you’re the granddaughter. oh, you were at the funeral - i’m sorry about your loss. your grandpa was such a great person.”
  you put on the same tight smile every time someone mentioned him. the worst of the grief came back on some days, but you learned how to manage it day by day as time went on. jungkook watched you do so and cleared his throat.
  “the old bus stop is the worst,” he interrupted, gesturing towards the tiny sign that indicated that it was in service. “people get lost all the time when they arrive. well, we don’t really have a lot of people visiting by bus - “
  you couldn’t help but cut in. “i’m not visiting.”
  the two men gave you and your single chanel duffel bag a blank stare and wondered if the idea was so hard to believe. it was for your parents, who both thought you caught them on some sort of prank show when you told them about grandpa’s envelope. you were wearing platform mary janes and a leather skirt in the dead of the june sun, so maybe they had a reason to be confused.
  there was a moment of silence, so you decided to speak again. “yeah, i’m not visiting. um, i’ve decided to take over my grandfather’s farm. i’m moving to amber valley permanently.”
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zepskies · 5 months
Text
As You Wish
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: When Dean agreed to watch your favorite movie with you, you didn’t think it’d come with live subtitles.
AN: Here’s a little something in honor of Dean’s birthday! If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, do yourself a favor. 🥰
Word Count: 600
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, and nothing but the fluff. (Established relationship.)
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“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” Dean says, right in time with the iconic swashbuckler on the screen, complete with his best approximation at a Spanish accent.
You giggle against his side, hard enough to rock both of you on the bed. When he agreed to watch your favorite movie with you, you didn’t think it’d come with live subtitles.
“Are you gonna quote the whole damn movie?” you ask.
Dean brandishes an imaginary sword with his fist held out.
“HELLO! My name is—”
Biting your lip, you cut him off short by playing dirty. You wrap your arm around his middle and dance your fingers across his ribs. He’d never admit it, but he’s got sensitive sides.
He flinches and laughs on reflex. “Hey, hey! That’s a foul move!”
His arm tightens around your waist while his other hand closes around your wrist. You try to grapple with him, your bare legs tangling with his pajama-clad ones, but you both know it’s a losing battle.
Dean gathers you tighter against his chest and traps your wandering hand.
Huffing another laugh, you relax again. His heart clips at a faster pace under your ear. Your hand smooths up his chest and finds its way up the back of his neck.
Dean can't help it. He lets out a contented hum when your nails give his scalp a little scratch.
For a moment, his attention drifts away from the movie and down to you. He spies the soft edge of your smile, feels your hair starting to itch against his arm, your soft curves under his hand, pressing against him.
You two don’t get these quiet days often, but he wants to make sure you get some rest. You, Sam, and Dean spent about three straight weeks in a row with back-to-back hunts, and the last one had really taken it out of you. So now, Dean’s satisfied to see you so relaxed. Happy, even.
Yeah. You really do seem to be as happy as he (secretly) feels.
Sometimes, he finds that part hard to believe. If you could want this with someone like him, then maybe…maybe he doesn’t screw up all the time.
Dean tunes back into the movie just in time for Buttercup to jump out of the window in her pretty white dress. She and Westley join Fezzik and Inigo on white horses, and the couple shares the kiss that left all the others behind.
Dean glances down at your face. He’s amused by the way you’re eating up all this sappy rom-com crap. Your eyes are shining with unshed tears. He ducks down to press a kiss to your forehead. 
“You just spring a leak over anything, don’t you?” he teases. You shove at his chest with a halfhearted hand.
“Only over the good stuff,” you retort.
He accepts that with a chuckle. When the credits start to roll down the screen, he reaches for the remote and searches for the episode you guys left off in Game of Thrones. You tap his chest.
“Hey, wanna go out to dinner tonight?” you ask. A warm smile plays on your lips. “Just you and me?”
Dean blinks. He doesn’t remember the last time you two went on an honest-to-God date. No time, no privacy, always something evil on your asses…
A decision made in his mind, Dean gives you a smile back. He brushes his thumb across your cheek.
“As you wish,” he says.
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AN: 😘 Hope you liked this one!
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Dean Winchester One-Shots
Dean Winchester Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Ko-Fi Me ☕
Dean W. Tag List:
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91
@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sanscas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19
@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420 @fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like
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ohhiimweird · 1 year
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The Traffic Light Trio Except they Simp for You
AKA MK, Mei, and Redson crush headcanons
Characters: MK, Redson, Mei
Reader: Gender Neutral
Relationship: Romantic
Content Warnings: None! :)
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MK
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bro is a simp. he would be a simp. look at this boy and tell me he is not
Mei is his wingman, obviously. and she does her best
AKA, she has brought up the idea of throwing rocks at your window, MK serenading you while Mei carries the boombox
Whenever you enter Pigsy's shop, MK will be all "Guys! Guys! Be cool! It's them." and he's the only one losing his shit
the gang is surprised that you're the only one who doesn't know about MK's crush on you
he'll sometimes draw you and write your name with a bunch of hearts around it or himself protecting you from a demon
he gushes about you almost constantly. it can be about any interaction he had with you. he will talk to the nearest person about it
Wukong supports it but he's mostly confused but that's fine
father figure approves
will try to show off his powers in front of you
if he ends up admitting his feelings, he's got a flower that reminds him of you and y'all are meeting somewhere so he can do the thing. Mei is probably watching in case everything goes wrong
when you accept, he's so fucking happy and it takes everything in him not to kiss you the second you say yes
Mei
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much like how she'd be MK's wingman, MK is her wingman
She'll show you off to her chat if she's streaming. they'll make a few simp comments about her crush but she acts cool and brushes it off
on the inside, she is worried you might find out and is surprised that you don't
she'll take you for rides on her little dragon bike around the city
you have to go to work? there she is! need a ride to the grocery store? mei knows your location
NOOO it's not because she likes the feeling of your arms wrapped around her while she's driving you around
she's a little bit more upfront about her feelings, but she still has her and MK go through stupid shenanigans to get your attention
she's a little worried about her parents not being approving of you because dragon clan stuff
but I think because of the episode with the dragon sword, her parents would come around
when she wants to tell you, Mei would try to disguise it as you two hanging out as friends
MK and Sandy are following you two around while you're both having fun
Then, Mei takes you somewhere a little more remote and admits her feelings. When you say yes, she throws herself onto you and is the happiest Dragon Horse Girl in the world
Redson
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this motherfucker is a tsundere through and through
This time, they have two wingmen, MK and Mei. but she doesn't like it
he'll try to shoo them away every time they make a comment about him making a move on you
Redson will bring you the finest jewelry in the world if you wear it
if you don't he'll make little trinkets for you
either way, he's giving you gifts since I see that as his love language
each gift redson gives you has a seal on it, showing anyone that tries anything with you that you're under the demon bull family's protection
If you notice something, cue the flames
she will deny everything that has to do with their crush on you
Once he confesses, that's when he'll ask MK and Mei for any kind of help, and they're on thin fucking ice already
She brings you another piece of jewelry, however, this one is a bit grander than the others. He treats it like a marriage proposal even though they're reminded several times that you have to date someone first before you marry them
You accept it though, and that's all that matters to him
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youryurigoddess · 7 months
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A. Z. Fell & Co. bookshop and its statues
To start off, you have to be warned that the former set was almost completely destroyed in the S1 bookshop fire and whatever wasn’t important enough to be salvaged before the shooting had to be replaced afterwards. Which means that a few memorable and already identified pieces aren’t there anymore, for better or worse.
This is going to be another long analysis, and certainly not a full one — I’ll describe only the big picture and the most important props. A continuation focusing on the decorations in the less prominent parts of the bookshop will follow here.
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Right at the entrance we can see twin tables with the Marly Horses by Guillaume Coustou the Elder. The sculptures showing two rearing horses with their groom were originally commissioned by Louis XV of France for the entrance to château de Marly, a royal residence near Versailles.
In S2 Crowley is shown consistently using one of the horses, partially out of convenience, partially in line with a returning throughout the season dark horse theme. Ironically, the symbolic harnessing of a wild animal mirrors the supposed domestication of the demon by his angel, as seen in the transformation of the statue to the right from the entrance into an altar of his submission.
After all, there’s nothing more vulnerable to Crowley than losing the usual protection of his shades, and using a horse sculpture as a stand for his sunglasses speaks volumes about his natural aptitude towards uncertain and liminal states. He thrives in stress situations, dangles his feet while hopping onto a curb, and assumes the form of a non-Euclidean fluid when asked to sit down in a chair. Stability isn’t exactly what he’s most comfortable with. So what for Aziraphale signifies the power over his (theirs?) own domain and ultimate safe space, for Crowley means a challenge.
It makes sense that this particular spot near the exit is where the demon feels most secure in the bookshop, his favorite place in the world. That’s where he stood after crossing its threshold in 1941 too.
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The statue in the middle, right on top of the central bookstand, was replaced after the S1 fire. It’s still clearly a Cupid, but in a different pose and without his weapons — instead of shooting an arrow, now he’s holding his left hand over his head, pointing up towards Heaven or God. Quite a change. This is the most similar copy made after Ernest Rancoulet. The butterfly-like wings (similar to the ones Rancoulet used in his La Nuit Tout Repose, At Night Everything Rests) on the copy in the bookshop have visible screws, so they were probably added either by the previous owner or the Good Omens art department.
What’s especially important from the analytic point of view is that similarly to S1, the Cupid in question still appears in the frame facing Crowley, but not targeting him anymore, like it used to, but rather mirroring. The most memorable example appears during the Final Fifteen™ when the demon points up with left hand to highlight his “No nightingales” line.
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This one will be fun! Everyone, meet George Maxim’s bronze allegory of Music in her full glory. Angels like music in general, right? And Aziraphale is a known audiophile, which was asserted in the very first episode of the new season. But there’s another link to music in his angelic roots. A rather apocalyptic one — the Archangel Raphael is believed to blow the trumpet from a holy rock in Jerusalem to announce the Second Coming (the Day of Resurrection), and Israfil, its Islamic counterpart, Qiyamah (the Day of Judgment).
Staying in the very same context, let’s read the ballad Israfel by Edgar Allen Poe, which was obviously inspired by the titular Archangel.
Nothing on Earth lasts forever — but that’s exactly the reason why we should use it for inspiration, savor this momentary bliss, and hold it in our hearts. The ballad shares the same sentiment about all creation being temporary and only the passions of angels (i.e., Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s feelings) staying eternally unchanging as Aziraphale’s “Nothing lasts forever”. His line was intended as an affirmation of his feelings, similar to “You go too fast for me, Crowley”.
And just like the Cupid is mirroring Crowley in the “No nightingales” line, Music is targeting Aziraphale with her harp in the following frame.
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On the counter there’s a smaller bronze statue, which original unfortunately remains unidentified, but I was able to track some similar designs. A woman coming back from the harvest with crops — either a representation of Autumn or the Greek goddess Demeter bringing a blessing of a plentiful harvest. In the Bible, the harvest is a metaphor for both spiritual fruitfulness and judgment. Our productivity in God’s kingdom is supposedly tied to our faith and obedience. And the most popular verses repeat an even older saying, how one reaps what they sow:
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8)
And another angel came out of the temple, calling with a loud voice to him who sat on the cloud, “Put in your sickle, and reap, for the hour to reap has come, for the harvest of the earth is fully ripe.” (Revelation 14:15)
The harvest is past, the summer is ended, and we are not saved. (Jeremiah 8:20)
If you read The summer that was never supposed to end meta, you’ll interpret the figure itself as a rather ominous sign. Now let’s add to it positioning right next to the gigantic Victorian cash register one cannot possibly overlook and the recurring theme of payment. And the fact that it conveniently disappears at some point in The Ball (S02E05) episode, never to be seen again. Is the payment reminder not needed anymore, because its day just came?
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For some reason ever since S1 this one was often interpreted as a bust of Alexander the Great by the fandom. The proper name is the Head of a Victorious Athlete, also known as Benevento Head. As this suggests, the originally bronze sculpture represents a victorious athlete wearing an olive crown and was found near Benevento in Italy, in the remnants of the ancient town Herculaneum, wiped off from the face of the earth together with Pompeii in a tragic volcanic eruption (which was conveniently used later on as a more modern example of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah). It’s an obviously Roman copy of a Greek sculpture and dates back to 50 AD, less than a decade after Aziraphale and Crowley met in Rome in 41 AD— who knows, maybe they were still around at the time? This would make an interesting connection to the statue Crowley brought back to his apartment in 1941.
And no, in the HD quality and especially en face it doesn’t appear similar to Crowley. In fact, there seems to be a very good reason why most photographers choose another, more flattering angle for this particular artwork. But aesthetics aside, the white bust seems more like a mirror for Aziraphale and his self-constructed (and self-imposed) idealized image, based on a specific set of virtues. The presented athlete is victorious because he’s the epitome of the Platonic Triad of higher Forms: Truth, Beauty, and Excellence, understood in the wider context of the Greek Aretē.
To highlight this point, in S1 the head was literally used as a designated display place of the medal Aziraphale got as a commendation for his 6000 years on Earth in the 1800 cut scene. As a free agent not affiliated with Heaven in S2 he doesn’t hang it there anymore, but the medal is still in the bookshop, visible on his desk. You can see it in detail and read the description of its provenance in the last bookshop meta.
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Daedalus and Icarus are a very popular motif in the history of art, but certainly not in this overtly masculine, military style. Icarus was too ambitious for his own good and ignored explicit instructions, which constitutes both the sin of pride and that of disobedience to one's parents (or one’s Creator?).
Interestingly, there’s also a version of the myth in which Icarus fashioned himself greater than Helios, the Sun himself, and the god himself punished him for it with the fall — which resonates very strongly with my vision of Crowley both in relation to his Fall and potential S3 development.
But back to Aziraphale. If the medal in question was given to him as a commendation he from the Supreme Archangel himself, it also serves as a warning for him to not get too arrogant or comfortable with his accomplishment (i.e., life on Earth) or it might lead to his fall (or, in this case, Fall).
Foreshadowing much?
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isaksbestpillow · 19 days
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Ossan's Love Returns eng sub masterpost
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The legendary queer ossans who paved the way for the post-2018 Japanese bls are back! Haruta and Maki have progressed from coworkers to husbands but their life is still as chaotic as ever and the people around them all kinds of unhinged.
Please watch my favourite show! This is an independent second season so you can jump right in without having seen the previous material. The acting is top-notch, the writing clever and the editing hilarious. This is a laugh-out-loud funny, feel-good show about aging, love, and chosen family.
You can also watch the show on Gagaoolala, but their subs are somewhat incoherent at times and leave a lot to be desired. There are also many jokes and references to Japanese language and popular culture that may go unnoticed, which is why I have included notes for all episodes in this post.
I have a kofi but I appreciate a little comment just as much.
Links and notes under the cut.
How to download:
Download all files onto your computer. Make sure they are in the same folder. You cannot stream the subs on Google drive.
The subtitle file will auto-play on VLC Media Player as long as it has exactly the same name as the video file. It may not be supported by some other players.
Do not reupload to any streaming sites.
Episodes
Episode 1
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Episode 2
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Episode 3
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Episode 4
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Episode 5
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Episode 6
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Episode 7
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Episode 8
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Episode 9
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Special episodes
Haruta & Maki's first night as newlyweds (Tver special)
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Telasa spin-off part 1
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Telasa spin-off part 2
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Episode notes
Episode 1
The first dream of the year (hatsuyume) is said to predict the year.
Shiritori is a word game where you can’t say a word ending in N or you lose. For example: imo - mori - risu - sushi - shio - ossan (lose)
Bashauma Cleaning literally means Carriage Horse Cleaning, but it's a reference to the idiom bashauma ni hataraku, work like a (carriage) horse, so I've translated it to include the joke.
Yabusame is Japanese horseback archery.
Nandeyanen: a classic reply in manzai (stand-up comedy with two people). I had to replace it with something situational.
Hierarchy between supervisors goes kakarichou (Haruta), kachou (Maki), buchou (previously Kurosawa, now Takekawa). I’ve translated buchou to chief just because it’s short, so my translations may not correspond to anglophone hierarchy.
Episode 2
Kurosawa uses hyper formal and humble customer service language at all times, which is weird coming from your old boss since seniority plays a big part in Japanese communication. I’ve tried to retain some of it in the translation since it’s a running joke and a huge part of his character in this season.
In Japanese rock paper scissors (janken) the winner can hit the loser on the head with a toy hammer and the loser has to guard.
Urusee kuchibiru: Kuchibiru is lips. Urusee can have a million meanings from noisy to annoying to picky to fuck off so it was hard to land on a single translation when the full context of this line isn’t yet given. I decided to go with pesky lips since it kind of covers all bases.
Episode 3
Hirugao (japanese bindweed) was a popular drama about cheating that aired in 2014. Hirugao is a reference to a somewhat new idiom heijitsu hirugao tsuma (weekday japanese bindweed wife) that means a wife who cheats while her husband is at work. It was also nominated as one of the trend words of 2015, so I decided to keep it as it is.
Kin'youbi no tsumatachi e ('to friday wives'), also known as Kintsuma, was a popular relationship that aired in the 80s. Making references to popular culture seems to be Kurosawa's thing.
Sontaku: A word that became popular after the Moritomo gakuen political scandal in 2017 and is often used jokingly. I didn't translate it because there is no simple translation as it is a cultural concept rather than just a word and I wanted to maintain the scandal link. Here is a wikipedia page about sontaku. Basically it means to do something the other person wants you to do without them saying they want you to do it.
Convenience store restrooms usually have a poster that says something along the lines of thank you for always keeping the restroom clean.
Dogeza: the ultimate kneeling apology. Not actually used anymore sans some press conferences after a major fuck up.
Before you become a memory, show me your smile one more time: This is actually a Spitz lyric. Takekawa-san's Twitter account is also a reference to Spitz. Here is the song:
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Episode 4
Akito & Haruta: Aki means autumn, haru means spring
Kikunosuke: Kiku means chrysanthemum, the flower of the emperor, so it’s a very regal name, as is Kiku-sama.
Oniisan: Kiku has a habit of calling everyone oniisan/older brother. It’s normal to call strangers oniisan but Kurosawa is a bit past the oniisan age lol.
Soiya, soiya, sore, sore: These are cheers. The scene is a reference to this song from the 80s:
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The bachelor is a cameo by Dean Fujioka.
Shougi: Japanese chess
Teppei’s pun song: o-shiri, o-shiri, hey Siri, douka o-shirioki kudasai ore wa omae no otousan janai. O-shiri means butt so that’s the pun here.
公安 kouan ‘public safety’: I’ve translated this to NSB (national security branch) because I needed a short word that people might repeat many times without getting the meaning. In a previous episode Haruta had to google what kouan is. I dont know how security and intelligence services differ across countries so please don’t pay too much attention to this particular word.
Vivant: A popular suspense drama that aired in 2023. Hayashi Kento who plays Maki actually appears in it haha.
Winter Sonata: A Korean drama from 2002 that was immensely popular in Japan and started the Korean wave
Yong-sama: Japanese fans’ nickname for Bae Yong-joon who starred in Winter Sonata
老々介護 rouroukaigo: Literally 'old old caregiving’. This means an elderly person caring for another elderly person. It’s becoming a social problem in Japan and Takekawa-san is haunted by it at the moment.
Episode 5
The raffle guy is a cameo by Dave Spector. He’s an American tv personality based in Japan and known for his puns.
Happi is a tube-sleeved coat worn during events.
I made everyone swear quite a bit in the ryokan battle scene because they were using the vulgar speech register (except poor Izumi-san).
There were many puns in this episode. I tried to translate them all to the best of my ability, but here they are in Japanese:
akan desuka aka wa ‘is red not good’, translated not red not your color
Wariine Dietrich 'Thanks Dietrich’, translated to thanks a latte
Atamitte attakami 'Atami is warmth’, translated to Sea You in Atami
Hageshiku doui: strongly agree; hage doui: bald agrees, translated to nod nod nod, bald nods (or something along those lines, I forgot lol). This is an iconic line in Japanese and got used a lot in the fandom. It's really common to come up with portmanteau words in Japanese so hage doui sounds like a valid abbreviation for hageshiku doui but the meaning is unfortunate. Hage is commonly used as an insult.
When Kurosawa is not in his customer service mode, he uses a lot of zoomer and internet slang. Kibonnu: internet slang for please originating on 2chan. Ma: short for 'majide', seriously. Kawachii: a new way of saying kawaii, cute. I tried to recreate his speech patterns the best I could.
Daruma-san ga koronda 'the daruma doll fell over’, a game similar to red light, green light.
Nanmaida: colloquial namu amida butsu, a Buddhist chant
Azatoi: Haruta gets called this by Kiku. I translated it to coy due to lack of space, but it’s a cultural word so the meanings may not match entirely. Azatoi is someone who performs cuteness for personal gain. The official subs translated it to 'idiot’, so yeah that’s what you’re paying for…………………..
Episode 6
Valentine's Day is a pretty big deal in Japan. Traditionally, women are supposed to give chocolate to men and men are supposed to return the favour a month later on White Day. Many people actually find this exchange stressful because of giri choco, 'obligation chocolate' given to all male co-workers. In recent years the popularity of giri choco has been steadily falling and it has even been banned in many workplaces, and now many women are instead giving friendship chocolate to their friends. The opposite of giri choco is honmei choko (true love chocolate) given in a romantic setting.
The wedding planner is a cameo by Crazy Coco. She's an ex flight attendant who does comedy videos on Instagram. Please pay attention to the non-Japanese pronunciation of English loan words in this scene.
Sukima Switch: This is the name of the band who contributed the theme songs for both seasons so I left it untranslated. Revival from season 1 plays in one of the scenes.
Nukazuke: A type of preserved food made by fermenting vegetables in rice bran (nuka). The pickling bed is called nukadoko. Nukadoko is a living organism that you can keep using forever as long as you take care of it. There are nukadoko that have been passed down for generations.
Takenoko no sato & Kinoko no yama ('bamboo shoot village' & 'mushroom mountain') are two types of chocolate by Meiji sold at every supermarket. You have dog persons and cat persons, mountain persons and beach persons, takenoko persons and kinoko persons. So it's not just any random chocolate, it's an ordinary everyday product that everyone has an opinion on.
Episode 7
The title of the episode (How do you live) is also the title of a novel by Yoshino Genzaburou and the Japanese title of Miyazaki’s The Boy and the Heron. I’ve been lazy and not translated the previous titles but this one felt important enough to include.
Fukuro/bukuro: bag
Isshou isshoni itekureya: When Izumi completes Haruta’s sentence after asking him about Maki, the line is a lyric from Lifetime Respect by Miki Douzan. It was a big one hit wonder in 2001.
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Single mothers are some of the most socially disadvantaged groups in Japan and their plight is only worsening. 50% of single-parent households live in poverty.
Drag/drug are pronounced the same in Japanese (doraggu).
Anta: This is a rude second person pronoun that stands out because Izumi is usually well-mannered at work and never calls Haruta anything but Haruta-san. I obviously couldn’t translate it literally since it literally just translates to you, so I made Izumi say bullshit.
They make you drink barium at the annual health checkup to screen stomach cancer.
Episode 8
Ending note: This is an English word made in Japan. It’s a bit like an informal will with no legal standing to reflect on your life or express your wishes for your funeral.
Toketsu: blood vomit Tooru futatsu: two talls (Kiku-sama’s rice ball size), hence the slip of the tongue
When you fall, fall forward: originally said by 19th century revolutionary Sakamoto Ryouma
Tabelog is the biggest restaurant review site in Japan.
Episode 9
There were once again numerous puns, word plays and funny expressions in this episode, I did my best. The squid game one was impossible however so I’ve explained it in the subs.
Pokapoka: Onomatopoeia for something that’s nice and warm, such as a mild sunny day. I feel like this line lost some of its charm in English unfortunately. :(
Haganezawa Iruka: Iruka means dolphin. This character has a painfully fake American accent.
The book Maika is reading is titled Heya to Y-setsu to watashi, Room and Y-setsu and Me. Y-setsu is code for waisetsu which means pornography lol.
The Japanese title for My Neighbour Totoro is Tonari no totoro, next-door totoro.
Makkuro kurosuke are the soot sprites seen in Ghibli’s films.
Engacho: Maki does this to Kurosawa. It’s something kids do after touching something disgusting.
TVer special
It’s common in Japan for the wife to handle all family finances and only pay the husband an allowance. I’ve seen some queer couples do it too.
Telasa spin-off 1
This is Sumikkogurashi:
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Yakatabune: a fancy Japanese boat for cruises
bubble generation: the generation that entered the workforce at the height of the bubble economy
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Tsumagoi is a town in Gunma prefecture known for cabbage.
Ikebukuro (‘pond bag’) is a commercial district in Tokyo.
Hotei Tomoyasu is a renowned guitarist. I think Takekawa-san was maybe trying to perform the theme from the yakuza film Shin jingi naki tatakai/New Battles Without Honor and Humanity. I don’t recognise his lyrics from any Hotei song lol.
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Akito and Izumi talk to each other using vulgar speech. It's very different from how Izumi interacts with others.
Maro calls Kikunosuke too kenage. I translated this to persevering but honestly there isn’t a word in English that quite captures the full meaning of kenage. Kenage means heroic or brave but it’s used to praise a weak or powerless person showing courage in the face of adversity, such as a child, so it's not really a compliment.
Ribbon and Nakayoshi are shoujo manga magazines.
The lifetime together line is again a reference to the one hit wonder Lifetime Respect.
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vaxieth · 9 months
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because something really did ask, have a much too long post about my thoughts on laudna’s individual dynamics with the rest of bells hells.
under the cut because it’s almost 3000 words.
laudna/imogen
i struggle to find something to say about imogen and laudna that hasn’t already been said a million times before. the core concept—the thesis—of their arcs, together and separately, is choice. so much of their backstories are defined by helplessness. laudna was chosen and killed because she happened to look like someone else, she was resurrected because she happened to be there. imogen’s mother left, she was burdened with powers she didn’t understand and meant constant pain and isolation. so, they make sure to constantly emphasize that the other person has a choice in everything. imogen tells laudna she only has to come back if she wants to, even though it would have devastated her to lose laudna forever. laudna tells imogen that the gods can’t control her, that no matter what her “destiny” is, if she wants, they can leave and live in a little cottage and raise horses together. the way they love each other unconditionally is all the more incredible given how cruel the world was to them for so long. laudna’s “you make me better” is true for both of them. they give each other a place to be vulnerable and feel all their messiest, worst feelings because they know the other one won’t judge them. they’ll support each other no matter the choices they make.
something i’ve mentioned quite a few times but never gone in depth about is that imogen and laudna do have a fairly significant age difference, and i do think that affects their dynamic. on the one hand, they both have a bit of arrested development—imogen due to her isolation from the rest of gelvaan from 18-26, laudna because she died at 20. on the other, laudna has so much more life experience than imogen. she spent almost 30 years traveling and interacting with the world even if was mostly people trying to kill her, maybe even because of that. the “laudna is imogen’s aunt/mother/older sister” takes were obviously ridiculous, but laudna does canonically look at imogen and see someone young who she wants to protect in a way she never was. she said as much to fcg after the gnarlrock fight. laudna acts as imogen’s rock, her tether if you will, a lot of the time, and part of the reason she can counterbalance imogen’s anxiety is because of the experience that comes with age. for example, during their conversation in episode 49, laudna is able to stay more “rational” and level-headed even when imogen is scared and overwhelmed. 
one of my other favorite things about them, specifically from laudna’s point of view, is that with a few exceptions (the gnarlrock fight, her jealousy of frida), she doesn’t seem insecure about their relationship. again, during episode 49, laudna mentions that she knows they haven’t talked in a while, but she didn’t worry because they “transcend words.” she didn’t need outside assurance from imogen because she felt confident in their love for each other. something i love about that episode 39-49 period is that they didn’t interact a lot, but when they did, they slipped right about in the same kind of intimacy they’d always had—imogen holding launda’s hand when they went into her dream together, laudna’s protectiveness of imogen after she interacted with ludinus. but anyway—that confidence is why i believe the transition from friends to lovers was so easy for laudna. laudna’s unsure of herself, of delilah and what she might do, but she’s absolutely not unsure of the love between her and imogen. that’s why as soon as imogen tells her she’s not a bad person, that she wants to be with laudna in that way, she lets herself embrace it entirely.
in conclusion: they invented romance, they’re the best canon pairing critical role has ever had and one of the best dynamics in general, etc., etc.
laudna/orym
oh my god, WHERE to begin? i feel like my take on their dynamic is slightly controversial. at the very least, i get more push back from people when i post about it than anything else, so let me start with this: orym cares deeply about laudna, i will never dispute that. however, orym is uncomfortable with laudna and has been since the very beginning of the campaign. she’s his friend and he recognizes her beautiful heart and resilient spirit, but he’s uncomfortable with her appearance and her messages in his head, with her macabre humor and her deadness. he can’t reconcile that laudna his friend and laudna the dead woman can’t be separated. laudna’s deadness is a part of her, one laudna embraces. orym, for better or worse, is “normal.” he grew up with a loving family and he had a husband and a career. will and derrig’s deaths were an unbelievable tragedy but one that never challenged his place within the status quo. (sidenote: i’ve always wondered if part of orym’s discomfort with laudna come from the fact that her proximity to death is a reminder of the resurrections will and derrig never got.) he sees himself as a follower, someone that doesn’t stand out, then there’s laudna, who does nothing but stand out. 
something i find fascinating is that orym is the first person to find out laudna’s backstory, and it affects him so much he can’t sleep that night and takes a point of exhaustion. he even explicitly recognizes the dehumanization she’s gone through and how laudna’s relationship with puppets like pate and sashimi mirror that. yet, he still never apologizes for trying to disguise her appearance, something without even asking. yes, i get it’s tactical and for “safety” (though that argument falls a bit flat for me when there’s also a glowing rock person and a fully conscious automaton in the group, but whatever), but it still hurts laudna. even beyond that, orym always qualifies his friendship with laudna to other person, making some mention of how she’s dead-looking and isn’t that crazy, wow, almost as if he wants some validation that it—laudna—is weird (one he, interestingly, rarely ever gets, given how enraptured most of the other pcs, including guests, and even some npcs, are with her). he does this even in situations he absolutely doesn’t need to like, for example, when maeve says laudna “looks cooler than i thought.” all this just sucks. it’s not that the love isn’t there, it is. it just isn’t unconditional, and laudna deserves better than that.
finally: the delilah in the room. no, it isn’t orym’s “fault” delilah is back. yes, he was also having an extremely bad time during the bor’dor fight and it wasn’t his “responsibility” to save laudna from herself, but laudna is orym’s friend. he listened to laudna tell him the trauma delilah put her through, he fought through hell to save laudna from her, and still nodded because part of him thought maybe delilah could help him and that was selfish. the fight against ludinus is important to of the bells, but for orym, it’s personal. it’s been his mission for six years. meanwhile, laudna is the one with the least enthusiasm about this. she has no connection to the gods. in fact, she actively thinks they dislike her, but he’s willing to sacrifice not just his safety, but the safety of her and all his friends for a cause they never set out to fight for.
in conclusion: i want to put them in a salad mixer together and watch them go around and around and around and around and around, then let them out to scream at each other a little.
laudna/ashton
if i had to explain laudna and ashton’s dynamic in one word, it would be “projection.” i adore their relationship, it’s one of my top 5 c3 dynamics, but oh my god, so much projection, and it’s so interesting because of that. ashton thinks he understands laudna, but in reality, he doesn’t at all. i’m an absolute sucker for characters that look very different on the surface but in reality are much more similar than they know, and ashton and laudna are that to a tee. they are very much narrative parallels especially regarding their feelings of “brokenness” and how their traumas are physical, visual parts of themselves, but the ways they diverge are almost more interesting.
certain people have said that her conversations with ashton are the only time laudna is “honest” or that, at the very least, she’s more honest with him than she is with anyone else, and i couldn’t disagree more. laudna can be a joyful, optimistic person and deeply traumatized with a core anger she hasn’t truly processed. laudna is a high-charisma character, and in my opinion, part of how that manifests is her ability to adapt her demeanor to the person she’s talking to. she speaks gently to imogen the same way she matches chetney’s hyperactive energy when they go sky-sailing. of course when she’s with ashton, who makes no effort to hide his anger and bitterness and doesn’t want her to be soft, she isn’t. none of these laudnas are more “real” than the others, they’re all laudna. what those people, and ironically, ashton themself, don’t get, or won’t let himself get, is that all those things can be true at once.
with ashton specifically, i don’t think they want to believe that because then they’d have to admit that growth and healing is a real possibility because anger is so much easier to deal with. people talk most about orym’s choices during the bor’dor fight most, but i’m fascinated by ashton’s as well. i wouldn’t be surprised if there was a part, no matter how small, that wanted laudna to break, to prove to himself that he was right and laudna was just as broken and fucked-up as them. so, laudna killing bor’dor was almost vindication, evidenced by their “what have i done?” “nothing i haven’t done.” exchange afterwards.
i don’t want this to sound like ashton doesn’t care about launda, they do. ashton cares about her so much, and besides imogen and fearne, is the most unabashedly into laudna’s aesthetic. i love how much they love all the weird shit she does. i love how protective ashton is of laudna, especially during battles and their willingness to go above and beyond for her—he carried laudna when she was dead despite his chronic pain without complaining once and were willing to make a deal with hexum after going through an entire museum heist to repay their debt. i love the moments when ashton sees how much laudna is struggling and tells her, as gently as he can, to take a moment and do what she can to ground herself. i love that when laudna way too dramatically assumes they kidnapped imogen, their response is “that’s very fair.” it’s all wonderful, and i love them.
in conclusion: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AND I WANT TO LOCK THEM IN A ROOM AND FORCE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS FOR HOURS.
laudna/fcg
laudna and fcg have been getting more attention in the past few days for obvious reasons and that has me rubbing my hands together maniacally because even though they have very little actual interaction, the subtext is delicious. 
besides ashton, fcg might be the character laudna parallels the most, especially their struggle with their humanity (if they’re even human at all), which isn’t helped by the constant dehumanization they face from outsiders, including the almost continuous comments they get when they meet someone new. people look at launda and see a horror while they look at fcg and see a novelty (he’s a robot with personality??), and those both suck. i think, for fcg, laudna is an uncomfortable reflection of himself because everything they’re afraid is true about themself is true about laudna. finding out they had a soul was such an important moment for his character (also remember his early campaign habit of calling other people “soul-touched folks”). as a hollow one, who knows if laudna even has a soul. if i’m honest, fcg seems to think less of laudna than the rest of the party (see: him calling her a “former person,” his speech before casting turn undead including, “no offense to laudna but can you please shine your light and wipe these evil, dead souls off the face of this flat planet?”) and that’s probably why. they have such strict ideas about “good,” which has become “godly,” and “wrong,” (“ungodly”), and within that framework, everything seemed to point to laudna as “ungodly,” which is why their empathy towards her is lacking. 
the biggest conflict between fcg and laudna right now is obviously their feelings on the gods. the changebringer brought fcg purpose and tangibly helps them on a daily basis. of course they want to share this incredible thing with everyone they meet, especially his friends. yet, time-and-time again, the world has shown laudna the gods don’t seem to care about her. before someone says anything, pike resurrecting laudna doesn’t automatically mean she has to trust the gods. clerics and paladins spent 30 years running her out of towns for existing and trying to kill her in the name of their gods. if the circumstances were different, there’s a good chance fcg could have been one of those people. for fcg, the world is black-and-white. for laudna, it’s all gray. laudna was able to have a conversation with imogen about the ruby vanguard’s message and the purpose of the gods because she understands the need to question things and thinks that’s a good thing even if she doesn’t agree with the conclusions. fcg’s not there yet, and until he is, their friendship with laudna will never be able to progress past where it is now.
in conclusion: please have a conversation, maybe even two or three. it’d be so good for fcg to learn the world’s incredible nuances and for laudna to see how faith in the gods can be an empowering force for good, not just something beyond her grasp.
laudna/fearne
out of all launda’s dynamics, this is the one i desperately want more of. we’ve gotten so little! almost all their moments are interactions between the three witches that tend to center imogen (making the red-string friendship bracelets and comforting imogen after she talked with relvin come to mind) OR center imogen and fearne’s mutual appreciation for laudna’s… everything. one of my favorite about fearne is that, like imogen, she doesn’t think laudna is gross and creepy, she thinks laudna is gorgeous and charming without any caveats. even ashton, who also loves laudna’s laudnaness, tends more towards “yeah, you’re disgusting and THAT’S why it’s great.”
the other main part of their dynamic i want to sink my teeth into is the coin-toss, more specifically fearne’s guilt over the coin toss. regardless of whether you think fearne lied (i personally find that headcanon FASCINATING but to each their own), she clearly feels so many emotions about having to pick whether to save laudna and orym that she hasn’t even begun to unpack. one of the few sole moments we’ve gotten of them was in episode 42 when laudna asked fearne to help teach her to cast fireball, and in it, fearne, unprompted, blurts out, “how’s it feel being alive again?” almost immediately. she also apologizes to laudna, says they’ll fight any piece of delilah that’s still in there, and tells her, “i missed you terribly for that moment in time.” even when laudna gives her the chance to make the conversation light-hearted, fearne stays so genuine, which is all the more-noteworthy because she’s usually so flippant and almost always keeps her real feelings close to her chest. 
some other examples of fearne’s guilt include: the 4sd where ashley said part of why she was so protective over imogen during their separation arc was that she couldn’t bear having to tell laudna anything happened to her and just this past episode when fearne’s protectiveness after laudna made her only cast first-level cure wounds on fcg after they cast turn undead.
in conclusion: PLEASE LET THEM INTERACT MORE. THERE’S SO MUCH JUICY POTENTIAL AND I WANT TO SEE IT EXPLORED.
laudna/chetney
i don’t have that much to say about them except that their dynamic is absolutely delightful. i love that we’ve gotten to see more of it in recent episodes, and i hope that continues. 
chetney exists at an interesting place between orym’s genuine discomfort and fearne and imogen’s complete enchantment with laudna’s undeadness. he is sometimes grossed out, but he also seems to accept it as a thing about laudna without too much judgment, or at least, that “judgment” is light-hearted in a way orym’s or even fcg’s isn’t.
i love that they’re the characters with the most life experience (even if laudna is technically the fourth oldest, fcg only has two years of memory and fearne is a 100+ but spent 99% of that time in one place) but also embrace being “childish” and silly together, like the entire sky-sail sequence! 
in conclusion: *gently holds* i just think they’re neat!
that’s all! if you read this whole thing, you get my eternal love and gratitude. thank you.
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Stonemilker [Joel x f!reader]
Read on Ao3
Fandom: The Last of Us (HBO)
Ship: Joel Miller x you (cishet f reader)
Tags/warnings: Heartache, breakup stuff, Ellie lives and Joel is lying to her, sad sex, you know this is ending sex, Couple fighting, idk what this is folks, it's a sad story with a hopeful ending.
Summary: When Joel returns to Jackson with Ellie, something has changed. Can your relationship survive it? Takes place after episode 9 of season 1.
Words: 3,967
A/N: The title Stonemilker is the title of the first track of Björk's Vulnicura (2015), an album solely about the end of a relationship. Cheers to @rambling-in-purple for reading it before posting <3!
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Joel returned a changed man. A younger man. A less hurting man.
Ellie was with him, of course, hugging you tightly in the kitchen of the small house you had been given. You had been setting the dinner table for one when she had burst in and called your name, Joel striding in behind her. You dropped the plate, and the porcelain pieces spread around your feet.
Little did you know that your life was about to shatter in the same way.
Joel gave you a warm hug, nothing more. You wanted to hear everything about their journey, but they were both tired and hungry, so you gave them time to shower and change into clean clothes while you adapted dinner to feed three.
Later that night, when you went to bed with Joel, you saw the hideous wound on the right side of his stomach. He told you what had happened since he and Ellie left Jackson.
He told you everything: the abandoned college, the stab wound, and how close he was to dying. Ellie saving him. The resort. All the dead bodies. The hospital.
His decision. Hallways of dead people left behind. His lie to Ellie.
"Joel..."
He looked at you with shrouded eyes. Where there used to be an iron curtain, there was now a thin veil that showed depths of horrors, but also hope. It scared you more than the hard metallic gaze that you were used to.
You knew why he did it. You understood him. You would probably have done the same.
"You have to tell her."
"One day, I will."
"Sooner rather than later. She deserves to know the truth."
There it was, the unyielding steel in his eyes. He never appreciated being told the obvious. But when Ellie did that, slapped him in the face with inconvenient truths and poignant teases, he grimaced to keep from smiling. When you did it, you received a glare.
You had always thought that that glare was yours because Joel didn't have any other way of expressing his reluctant amusement. And it was, but there was a smile-hiding grimace as well, just not for you.
Something had changed. You didn't realize just how much until a few weeks later, when you were out with the hunting party, and a cougar popped up so suddenly that not even the horses had smelled it. It was a young animal, probably a male looking for a territory of its own, and you were the closest to it. Your horse reared, you fell off, hit your elbow on a rock that just had to be precisely there. As if by some miracle, your head missed it, though. The wind got knocked out of you while your brain was screaming frantically at you to get up and get your gun, but before you could move, a shot rang out over the plain, and the horses neighed in fear.
Deion was by your side a moment later, brows knitted together in worry.
"You okay?"
Breath returning, you began to feel the impact of your fall. Left elbow was smarting, your ass was probably bruised, and your heart was beating a mile a minute from the scare.
"I'm fine," you managed to wheeze. He helped you up, carefully pulling you on your feet. He held your hand as he inspected your face for discomfort. You let him. It's comforting, that big, warm hand holding yours.
"You sure?" He wanted to be certain before he let you go. You nodded and forced a smile.
"I'll have a bruise, but I'm good." You've had worse, so much worse.
The warmth of Deion's hand lingers on your skin long after he releases your hand. As you get on the horse and ride back to Jackson, you find yourself thinking about how Joel never showed such concern for your well-being. And he doesn't do it now, either, when you return sooner than expected, moving like you're in pain - which you are.
"You need to be more careful," he tells you gruffly. You know it's his thing, he doesn't do softness, and yet... he does to Ellie. He speaks kindly to her, laughs with her, talks to her about things beyond mere survival. Tells her about his daughter. That's a new one, he never even mentioned his daughter to you.
It's heartwarming to see him thawed. The glimpses of who he used to be melt together with who he is now. You always suspected he was a great kind of guy before the world went to shit and he was forced to become a version of himself that he himself hated. And it hurts you more than the bruising that he cannot be this new person with you, only with Ellie. She deserves the best Joel, you know that, but don't you? After all you've been through with him?
You argue with him later that night. That's also new. While you may have disagreed with him occasionally before, you have never fought about it. Maybe it's the comfort of Jackson, the fact that a disagreement no longer means the risk of death. Maybe you have just had your fill.
"You could at least say something that doesn't make it sound like it's my fault!" you yell, unconcerned with your voice carrying over to the next room where Ellie is asleep. "You could ask me if I'm okay!"
"I can see that you're okay," Joel replies irritably. "I've seen you take worse hits."
"I am not okay, Joel!" The words are spat into the half-lit bedroom and the silence that follows is heavy from the impact. Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks at you with unreadable eyes. It's not his usual glare, the one he gives you no matter the reason, because it's all he's capable of. It's just... closed. Like he has nothing more to give you.
You sleep in separate rooms that night. Ellie is unusually demure in the morning, looking from you to Joel and back to you, clearly bothered by your fight the night before. You make a mental note to talk to her after breakfast but before you can suggest an activity, Joel asks her if she wants to go out shooting.
Okay, let Joel deal with Ellie.
You go to your chores, which consist of animal care for most of the day. Deion joins you. He wants to know how you're feeling.
How are you feeling? Bruised and annoyed. Sad and confused. Touched and frustrated. Abandoned. Lonely.
"I'm good," you assure him with a light smile. "A little sore, but I've had worse."
All day he sees to it that you rest. He takes care of the tasks that will aggravate the aches of your beaten-up body. He reminds you to take a break when it's nearing lunch time.
He cares so clearly. Is this what it's like, to be with someone who cares?
Ellie is bubbly that night. She and Joel have had fun, she tells you, and you're happy for her. Ellie is a child who was never allowed to be one. She deserves carefree days. She deserves a father figure, a dad. A mom, too, but you have no idea how to be that. Especially when things are so askew with Joel. Whatever things are, were, should be. You and Joel used to be about teamwork, survival, partnership. But life in Jackson is different. What you two had, were, is not needed here. What else can you be?
Joel watches you take your clothes off when you get ready for bed. You turn your back to him, maybe out of misguided, sudden shyness, maybe to show him the bruise that has painted half your back. It was dark red yesterday, now it's turning purple.
His feet are heavy on the floorboards when he walks up to you. His rough fingers are surprisingly soft when tracing the outlines of the bruise. You close your eyes, lean into his touch, sigh softly when he kisses you neck. You lie down on the bed and let Joel take you. He's gentle, more so than usual, but every thrust pushes you against the bumpy mattress, hurting you. Neither one of you speak but when Joel has finished, he cradles your face in his hands and kisses your forehead so softly that it's barely a kiss at all. You turn your back to him when you go to sleep. Your muscles are sore from the coupling, and you quietly love that tenderness like one would a bittersweet heartache. The bruise on your lower back throbs like a young heart in love, and when you turn onto your side, away from Joel, you wish he would kiss the miscolored blossoms.
But he doesn't. He simply turns away from you, just as you turned away from him. With a canyon between your warm, spent bodies, you both go to sleep.
Ellie accompanies you to your chores the next day. After a quiet hour of cleaning the stable, she eventually asks you if you're mad at her.
"No, Ellie, why would you think that?" you ask, immediately regretting your poor choice of words. She shrugs, leaning against a stall door, both hands gripping the handle of the pitchfork, the prongs scraping loudly against the floor.
"You've been weird since we got back. You and Joel have been fighting."
"That has nothing to do with you," you lie, hopefully convincingly. Ellie looks up at you, a hard glint in her eyes.
"I'm not stupid. You never fought before, not for as long as I've known you."
You stop your sweeping but don't know what to say.
"You barely talk to each other," she insists.
"It's complicated," you tell her feebly. "But it has nothing to do with you, Ellie, I promise."
"Then what is it?"
You shake your head. "I'm not going to talk about our relationship with you, Ellie. It's not your problem."
"It is my problem if my - " she stops herself, the word parents hanging in the air for a second, before she continues: " - if you two are going to, I don't know, get a divorce or some shit."
An amused scoff escapes you before you can stop yourself. "We're not married, Ellie."
"I know. But you're, like, together, right?"
"I don't know what we are," you blurt out, averting your eyes so you don't have to see her reaction at your confession. You hear the scraping of her shoe at the floor.
"Did you count on me not being here anymore?"
Her voice is small and sounds so different from its normal curious and teasing tone. A clump forms in your throat.
"Ellie..."
"I'm in the way."
You let go of the broom and focus instead on Ellie, standing in front of her and taking the pitchfork from her so that you can grasp her hands.
"You're not in the way," you tell her firmly. Ellie looks away, and you shake your head to stress your words. "Ellie, look at me."
She meets your steady gaze, and you see how conflicted she is. Poor girl. She is a child. You can barely remember what it was like to be that age and besides, it was another world ago, but you do remember that it was difficult and confusing for so many reasons.
"You are not in the way," you emphasize softly. "But this situation is new, for all of us. This place. This dynamic. We're not just surviving anymore, Ellie, we have a chance to live. And I... I've never had that chance with Joel before. So I'm struggling a little right now. But it has nothing to do with you, okay? You just... be you. You're so good for him, Ellie, you have saved him in more ways than one."
She purses her lips, and you see her throat muscles work as she swallows.
"Okay," she finally nods, quietly. You press a smile, try to look like this problem was resolved.
"Okay." You give her a quick hug before going back to your work. Ellie seems relieved but you can't stop thinking about how you pinned it all on your own back. You are struggling, you are having a hard time of this new way of life. As if Joel has nothing to do with it. As if his broad, once so safe, and reassuring back isn't now turned to you in cool detachment.
You try to bring the topic to him later that night, tell him that Ellie is noticing and worrying. It ends in a fight and this time it's Joel who sleeps on the uncomfortable couch. You lie awake, wondering what went wrong. Is it really you who changed? Are you being a selfish bitch, jealous of a 14-year-old girl? Do you really want life to go on as it did before, in the Boston QZ, fighting for your life with Joel by your side?
Why is settling down so hard?
Nothing changes in the coming weeks. Talking to Joel is like milking a stone. Every now and then the two of you fight, as quietly as you can when Ellie has gone to bed. You still think he should tell her. He refuses to, and you can see the fear in his eyes. Ellie will be furious with him; you both know it. The longer he keeps her in the dark, the worse it's going to be. You find yourself wishing that you'll be far away when the day comes.
One early spring day you ride out with Deion to check on the traps. You've spent most of your days with him these past few weeks. He appreciates you, sees you, wants to hear your opinion. He takes you to the movies. He asks you about your past. He shows interest where Joel barely even wants you at night anymore.
The snow has started to melt in the sunshine, and you find a sun-kissed clearing where the ground is yellow with glacier lilies. The air is warm, and you can smell the changing of the season. You dismount and crouch among the delicate yellow flowers, hover your hands over them, smile in childlike delight when you see bees buzzing from flower to flower. You can't remember the last time you saw bees.
In that clearing, you ask Deion to kiss you, and he does, almost immediately. Not until the kiss is over does he express regret.
"You're with Joel."
"No, I'm not."
He smiles, and kisses you again, and you remember those first pre-teen infatuations: the warmth, the excitement, the heart-stopping angst about whether or not the subject of your passions felt the same. You remember all that but only feel it radiate from Deion. The feelings are unrequited.
That night you collect your few belongings into your backpack and leave the house. You hug Ellie and ask her to forgive you. You say nothing to Joel, and he says nothing to you.
You do not go to Deion, but instead to the boarding house where new arrivals are placed while awaiting homes of their own. Deion is kind, and he showed you what it would be like to be with a person who genuinely cares for you, but you don't want to rebuild your shattered life around a man.
A week later you mount a horse and leave Jackson. You have no plan, no light to look for, but you can finally breathe freely. Heading west, you ride at a slow pace all day, enjoying yourself more than maybe is appropriate. Your saddle-sore backside in the evening doesn't put a damper on your joy when you sit by your small fire with a cup of herbal tea. This is the start of something new, maybe disastrous, but definitely different.
The dark woods around you don't scare you, neither does being alone. You realize now just how alone - lonely - you've been these past couple of months, smack in the middle of the warm and well-organized community that Jackson is. Its friendly inhabitants weren't enough: you only wanted kindness from one single person. To be alone out here, by choice, feels a lot better than the time spent in Jackson.
When you prepare to leave the campsite the next morning, a horse emerges between the trees. Instinctively, you reach for your gun before your brain has processed the face of the rider.
It's Joel. Your mouth falls open and your legs feel weak.
"What are you doing here?" you manage when he dismounts. His hunched shoulders tell you clearly that he's uncomfortable and also stalling as he, very meticulously, ties the reins to a nearby tree. You wait impatiently for him to acknowledge you. When he finally does, his nut-brown eyes are clear in the first rays of the sun.
"I'm here to ask you if you would consider returning."
You have to bite your tongue in order not to laugh out loud. Your hard stare tells him everything, and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
"I'm going to tell Ellie about what happened at the hospital."
You raise an eyebrow. "Why are you here telling me that?"
"Because when I do, she's going to hate me, and I can't stand losing both of you."
"It's a little too late for that, Joel."
He nods, wets his lips. Looks away and draws a wet breath. Rests his hands on his hips, purses his lips. You realize he's fighting against unwanted yet inevitable tears.
Joel crying. That's a new one.
Moments pass, minutes, maybe hours, days, you have no idea, but you keep staring at Joel as he stubbornly looks to the forest, as if there was an answer or saving grace to be had between the trees. You are relentless in the midst of the rising sun, the singing birds, the soft shush of the wind through the budding treetops. He has to make the first move, show something, say something. Offer an explanation to why he stopped listening. Where did the apathy in his eyes come from? Why did he suddenly decide to show no concern for you?
He brings his hand to his eyes, rubs them quickly with forefinger and thumb. He then turns back to you.
"Ellie misses you."
You stand your ground, implacable as you wait for him to continue. Finally, he confesses:
"I miss you. The minute you left I started missing you."
"Then why did you let me leave?" you ask flatly.
"I wasn't going to stop you if that's what you wanted."
You refuse to engage, even though you want to scream at him: Do you think I wanted to leave?
"Was it Deion?"
"What?" Your eyebrows meet in a surprised frown. "What about Deion?"
"You spent so much time with him. Did you... was there anything between you?"
Unable to play it cool anymore, you take a step closer.
"How fucking dare you? You have no right!" Your horse and Joel's shift their weight, ears twitching nervously.
He's a little taken back with your raised voice, but he doesn't match it.
"Sorry," he mutters instead, and now it's your turn to drop your jaw. For a moment, both of you just stand there, looking at each other, trying to find some common ground to share so that things can be resolved.
It's Joel who finally finds that little patch of soil to sow the seeds of reconciliation.
"You remember how I tried to make Tommy take Ellie to the Fireflies?" he asks, and you nod mutely. Of course you remember. The tension in the house had been so thick you could have cut it with a knife.
"But I took her. And everything that happened after that... happened. I have to live with the consequences. I just had to keep her."
He shakes his head, something desperate filling his features. "If I get to keep her, I can't keep you."
"What do you mean?" you ask quietly, not following. The long look he gives you is anguished, but he stays quiet, as if he has said too much. Your brain is working at full capacity until it has connected the dots.
"Is this some kind of 'can't have too much good shit in my life' bullshit?" you ask hoarsely, almost afraid of the answer. "Because that is just... Joel, you are an idiot."
You're shaking by now, and Joel bristles a little.
"Look, Ellie has nobody else. She's stuck with me, for better or for worse. She's a kid. But you are not. You can have someone better."
"What if I don't want anyone better, what if I happen to love a complete fucking idiot who doesn't deserve me but is stuck with me because I chose it myself!?" you scream, tears filling your eyes and escaping down your cheeks. Joel winces, as if you just slapped him, but when he sees your tears, he closes the gap between the two of you with a few long strides. The next thing you know, you're crushed against his broad chest, smelling his sweat and slightly woodsy scent with leather and horse and melting snow. He holds you so tightly it's almost constricting your breathing, but you don't fight back. You've fought back for long enough.
"Darlin'," he murmurs throatily. "Darlin'. You love me?"
"I did," you sob. "But I don't know if I still do."
He's quiet, his hand moving in slow, comforting caresses over your back. Something is broken in you and the splinters are pressing against your internal organs, making breathing near impossible. Your face against Joel's chest, you think you can sense something break in him as well.
"You're right," he finally whispers. "I am an idiot and an asshole."
Your only response is more tears because now he gets it, now the milk is flowing from that goddamn stone, and it just might be too late. You don't know if you can trust him to handle your broken pieces right, or if there is a second chance for him in you.
There is no telling how long you stand like that, entwined in a sad, desperate embrace. The sun's rays start to feel warm even when you're cold inside. When your tears finally dry up, you shift in Joel's arms, and he releases you. You can't look at him, can't let him see you like this, but he gently places his finger under your chin, and raises your face to his.
"Am I too late?" he asks. His eyes are red and there are wet trails on his cheeks. You swallow hard, try to navigate between your desires and needs.
"What would change?" you finally ask. He places his warm, slightly sweaty palm against your cheek and brushes his thumb just under your eye, catching a lingering tear.
"I would love you."
He has never said that word to you before, and you want to ask for a detailed description of what it entails. How will he love you? Will he listen, help, support, share?
If Ellie decides to hate him, will he hate you in return? Will Ellie?
On the other side is a vast wilderness of no coordinates, the unknown with all its dangers. What are your chances of survival, of finding decent people? Jackson is full of decent people, and now also Joel and Ellie. Joel, who hurt you. Ellie, who is torn between the two of you.
He waits for your answer, and you find that you don't have a definite one to give him. But you know what direction to take.
"We'll talk about it on the ride back."
If that direction is a way forward or a way back, you don't know. You just feel that it would be wrong not to try.
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last-ofthe-starks · 2 years
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HOTD episode 5 Easter eggs and thoughts:
Some slight but important changes to the timeline and order of events worth noting:
In Fire and Blood, Rhaenyra and Laenor’s wedding actually took place over the course of seven days, it did not end on the first night and require a shotgun wedding from the recollection in the book.
At one of the competitions, Criston beat Harwin Strong who was the strongest man in the realm, but we do not see them face off this episode.
Then, Criston faces Joffrey and beats him within an inch of his life with his favorite weapon, Morningstar. In the book, Joffrey suffers a brain injury and died six days later whereas there is NO denying he is dead on the show.
In the book Rhaenyra and 17 and Laenor is 20 at the time of the wedding in 114, while in the show Rhaenyra is at least 18 according to the last episode.
By the time this wedding takes place in the show, Criston Cole was already Lord Commander of the Kingsguard in the books.
We open the episode with Rhea Royce, who –in the brief moments we saw her – came across as a woman who would certainly give Daemon a run for his money and see right through his shit. And while there is a small part of me heartbroken that my boo Daemon did kill his wife (although we never see it on camera), this whole show is an excellent character study on Daemon as a character. His trip to the Vale was due to Viserys’ banishment sure, but when we see him and Rhea meet on the road it doesn’t actually look like he planned to murder her. The way it was shot makes it clear she drew a weapon first and her horse was spooked, but it did not appear that Daemon actually did anything. It was only when he end he walked away and she said something to him that he was prompted to pick up the rock and finish the job. Clearly that wasn’t a planned way to rid her but like most Daemon plans, he wings it. When Daemon dances with Rhaenyra, he sort of confirms he planned to rid himself of Rhea by telling her that he no longer has a wife and could put a stop to the whole wedding for her. He clearly wished to accomplish this task prior to her wedding day.
I like how they’ve addressed the unraveling of Rhaenyra and Criston on the show. It is believable that Criston would be so hurt by Rhaenyra’s response to his offer. The man broke and oath and his entire life as he currently knows it is due to her kindness and position. For her to have favored him, chose him as her protector, confide in him, and then later have him break an oath with her, it’s little wonder he thought she loved him just as much back. The way Criston asks her to escape with her and be free of her position and responsibility was a great way to weave together the rumors from Fire and Blood and also flesh out those rumors into a believable conversation with a heartbreaking end for Sir Criston.
Emily Carey (Alicent) was so great in this episode. It was the first time we actually see Alicent grow up and take the rose colored glasses off. We as viewers can see that she’s only seeing and being given bits and pieces of information, and surmising her decisions based on those bits. We get our first real debut of Master of Whispers, Larys Strong, and see his role in essentially starting the war. As viewers we can see she is getting parts of the truth but in the case of Criston Cole, some of her assumptions are incorrect. This long game of telephone is a great way of explaining how each chip fell to create what will be a giant, convoluted mess.
Speaking of Alicent and Criston, I really was surprised that Criston immediately fessed up to sleeping with Rhaenyra to Alicent. I thought for her in his anger he would have accused Rhaenyra of sleeping with Daemon to get back at her but no, he fessed up to it. This will add such an added layer to their dynamic as now Alicent has a very significant piece of information to hold over Criston’s head.
The king ain’t doing too hot, and wow, his arm was disgusting. Viserys in this episode is fighting so many things; his health being number one. We can see that it is rapidly declining and they are really at a loss for what to do for him. On top of that, his wife is beginning to use her own brain and fight back in the wake of her fathers dismissal, and the girl who was once so innocent and agreeable is about to become an enormous problem for him. Partner that with trying to repair a fractured relationship with Corlys, the return of his brother who he knows probably just murdered his own wife, and the image of Daemon taking Rhaenyra’s face in his hands at her own wedding celebrations as though they meant to kiss. THEN the poor dude has to have a shotgun wedding and cancel all of the fun, he truly can’t win.
Alicent walking into the hall in her green dress…shots fired. Then she hit us with the double whammy when she called Rhaenyra “Step-Daughter” in front of everyone. You can tell Rhaenyra knows she is onto something and her white lie didn’t hold up too well. I highly doubt she realizes that Criston Cole has thrown her under the bus for the first of many times.
I hate the Larys the club foot, so that means they are doing a great job with him.
Daemon waltzing into the hall unannounced and uninvited…a man after my own heart. Paddy’s acting in this scene was incredible, he portrays sooo much with just a look. And honestly, so does Matt Smith. Every scene we get between those two has been perfect.
The Vearyon’s are so hot. So hot. We get our first glimpse of Laena and Daemon together and you can tell they have great banter and she is GORGEOUS so naturally Daemon is attracted but I don’t think at this point it is a love at first sight sort of thing with them. Rhaenyra and Daemon never had a chance to finish their conversation before she was whisked away and married, so I’ll be curious how they explain Daemon and Laena next episode.
Sir Joffrey instigating Criston was excellent, he was perfectly dickish and you can see Criston slowly unraveling all episode but to see just how far he’s fallen was crazy. In the books Joffrey’s death was depicted differently. There actually were seven days of tournament and meals, one of which saw Criston Cole beating the crap out of everyone he faced including Harwin “Breakbones” Strong and killing Joffrey, the Knight of Kisses.” Using Joffrey as the straw that broke the camels back makes the most logical sense for this storyline and I thought they did a great job. The half of his scull missing on camera I could have done without but I know that is par for this beautiful corse.
The end of this episode broke my heart how Claire (the director) made the decision to have a voice over of Laenor saying his vows overtop of the shots of Rhaenyra. You can see both of their hearts breaking and it was so well done. It also helped so that Rhaenyra truly cares for him and despite their arranged marriage, she has his best interest at heart. His whole life just ended in a sudden blow and Rhaenyra clearly feels so strongly for Laenor. It is that mutual respect that Milly was able to capture so perfectly. He feels all alone and now Rhaenyra doesn’t have Criston or Daemon, so to see them both on that altar broken hearted was truly so sad and well done.
Speaking of Daemon, where did he go when all hell broke loose? Why is Harwin swooping in and not Daemon? The man is a mess.
I like that the director left it unclear if Daemon and Rhaenyra ever kissed but I’m sure someone in that room would have seen if it they did. To hear Rhaenyra question Daemon’s intentions again and ask him for such a huge ultimatum (to cut down the Kingsguard and whisk me away from here) was so great. But then Daemon never truly gets an opportunity to answer her or do those things either way. The fight breaking out disrupts their conversation and before the night is over she’s a married woman. When we see an aged up Rhaenyra next week I hope we get some insight into Daemon’s headspace and recalibrate Rhaenyra and Daemon’s relationship with one another.
Next episode we will have a lot of new characters (lots of kids) and a significant time jump but I want to shout out how amazing Milly and Emily both were as young Rhaenyra and Alicent. I will truly miss them both, especially Milly. It’s been some time since I saw a show have a younger and older version of the characters and it’s not an easy thing to pull off, but I’m optimistic and just hope next episode doesn’t feel like filler to establish the new players in this show.
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Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Heather from Total Drama vs Dirk Strider from Homestuck
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(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)
Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:
Heather:
HATE: - "she's kind of evil, she only uses people for ulterior motives. she never regrets her actions. like she literally only does it for fun. she's racist, misogynistic, homophobic and xenophobic. also, she has very weak and episodic character growth, which just ruins the character entirely considering that it's a linear story"
Dirk Strider:
LOVE: -"everyone hates this asshole mans emotionally abused his boyfriend even after breaking up, kills himself because things didn't go his way, beheaded himself so said boyfriend would kiss him, became an anime supervillain because ???? anyway I love him" - "man who is responsible for like every bad thing in the comic. but also he's sixteen and didnt mean it. and it wasnt even his fault. but he blames himself. everyone loves blaming him and calling him abusive. i must stress that he is sixteen and socially isolated. he straight up isnt responsible. hes done many things wrong. but literally not the things people blame him for." - "there aren’t words to describe how fucked up this dude is" - "i know the controversial character people normally think of from homestuck is vriska but i've seen a lot of people slandering dirk over the years. he does just want to help his friends. all of the alpha kids are dysfunctional as fuck but i feel like dirk tends to get the most slander of the four of them, which isn't deserved. not to mention what they did to my boy in the epilogues they just deleted his character arc. people are all "oh he's the cool badass" or "oh he's evil and unfeeling" he is sixteen years old. and he likes horses and anime. also a slight side note but he's the one who tends to get sexualized the most which is bad. but that also tends to be controversial in this fandom so i think that should net him extra points." - "half the fandom wants him dead; half love him. he can't make up his mind about himself. any time i reread i go through a period of wanting to beat him with a rock before i warm up to him again. also vriska was already submitted so many times so he's like the next best" HATE: - "Listen I've fluctuated between both love and hate but either time I felt such strong feelings about it"
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reidscaffeine · 1 year
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A Horse With No Name • s.r
*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*
inspired by this song and the jet scene at the end of episode 7 season 15!
content : fluff/pining lovers, friends in love - all that good stuff!
*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*
Mindlessly bumping my foot against a very familiar Converse shoe underneath the jet table, almost out of instinct and comfort at this point - not even realizing I’m doing it till I feel the person across the table reciprocate the movements against my own comfortable and worn loafer. The movements of our feet mimicked the soft buzz of the jet engine, lifting my head sheepishly to look at the owner of the famous Converse, Spencer Reid.
Feeling the edges of my mouth immediately starting to lift up into a content smile once I met his gaze, suddenly getting swept into his irises that resemble rich honey pots; sticky and trapping my attention. I’m not sure how long I’ve been staring at the poor man sitting across from me, my heart thumping in my chest starting to feel all too similar to the engine sounds and the quiet thud of our shoes making contact. The one thing that breaks me out of my trance is my best friend himself, by awkwardly clearing his throat and raising his eyebrows in my direction.
I feel my cheeks immediately heat up and refocus my gaze on the book that sits comfortably in his hands - I never knew it was possible to envy an inanimate object so much, until all these years I’ve had to watch Reid carry these books with the utmost care, love and respect. Watching the way he caresses the spine and lightly traces the pages till he can envision the words in his mind without sneaking a second glance at the pages. Is it normal to be jealous of a book? I could only compare it to the world playing a cruel trick on me, everytime I watched Reid pick up a book from his satchel, the book mocking me in a way, gloating to me and how badly I could be the thing that Reid would carry with the same care and love, the exact way I wish I could carry and hold him.
After realizing my downfall, that is once again, staring at my best friend for an uncomfortable amount of time, I try to divert my attention back to the song playing in my ears and attempting to untangle my foot from his ankle. This seemed to become a ritual between us, sitting in the back of the jet away from the others, he would read whichever book had stolen his attention that day and I would sit and listen to music whilst stealing painful glances at my best friend.
“On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings”
Trying to play my staring off as casually as possible, I started to flicker my eyes between the jet window and the suddenly very interesting table top, sitting between us and putting a very unwanted distance between us (at least on my part). I watched the clouds and the shades of blue and gray throughout the sky, feeling suspended in time and wishing I could always feel like this. I was soon broken from my train of thoughts by Reid’s fingers dancing across the table and into my eyeline, grasping for my attention. Eagerly lifting my head up and looking into his eyes with a flat smile, I removed one of my headphones and spoke in a voice that was only reserved for him, soft and full of adoration even if he didn’t realize.
“Yes, Reid? What can I do for you?”
He returned my smile and started speaking in a soft and quiet voice - a voice that I would listen to for the rest of my life instead of all the music in the world, “You seem quite lost in your thoughts today, care to share what’s on your mind?”. I had to bite my tongue there and then, the more rational part of my brain telling me that this isn’t him inviting me to spill my undying love for him that seems to fill my lungs every time I’m within his reach. Raising my eyebrows at his statement and giving him a soft reassuring shrug and gazing back out of the jet window “I’m just thinking... how different my life would be in a parallel universe and what I would be doing instead of being sat here” - It wasn’t a lie, it was something that circled my mind frequently, I just hoped that no matter what universe I was in, Reid would be sat across from me in the same way he is now.
He continued to gaze at me as I spoke, I watched as the corners of his mouth started to move upwards into an amused smile and he raised his eyebrows again and nodded for me to continue with sharing my train of thought. I looked down at the hands fidgeting in my lap and looked back at him, not wanting to spend a second longer not looking at him and I continued “Have you ever thought about it? In a different life, what would you be doing if you weren’t an FBI agent?”
His smile became more pronounced and a soft shade of pink crept onto his cheeks as he ever so carefully closed his book and moved it to the side, glancing over his shoulder as if he was going to reveal his deepest secret and he looked back at me and I swore for a second, his eyes reflected the same adoration that swims in my eyes whenever he enters my vision. He nodded, “You promise not to laugh?” It still amazed me how this man thought that his words and thoughts, even the silly and immature ones, were nothing but close to biblical scriptures and the only thing here that resembled anything of a joke was my undying love for the very oblivious man sitting across from me. All I could think to do without letting those thoughts slip off my tongue was an awkward encouraging smile and leaning forward to make sure I didn’t miss his next words.
“A cowboy...” he said in a soft voice whilst avoiding my gaze and all I could think of was the nervous and fumbling Spencer Reid I had met, back when he wore glasses and his hair slicked back. I echoed his words in a voice just as soft and I waited for further explanation.
“Mhm, you know.. I’d have some horses, a few cattle and be surrounded by nature” His face and posture suddenly relaxed as he put the idea into our current universe, I could only look on at him in fascination and pray to a God somewhere, that in his western world I could exist. Wanting to get more of an insight into his mind - “What would you do with cattle?” and if I thought his voice was the most melodic sound to my ears, the light chuckle that bounced from him soon became the most beautiful thing to fall upon my ears “I don’t know, look at ‘em, pet ‘em. I hadn’t really thought about that but I’ll figure it out.”
The only thing that made this conversation better besides his voice, was the song playing in my right ear as he spoke -
“I've been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain”
I immediately perked up and quickly motioned for him to take the seat next to me and pushed the words at such a fast pace I’m surprised he registered them “Oh my gosh Reid, you have to come and listen to this song!’ The look of confusion washed over his face as he clearly thought I’d abandoned his idea of a peaceful life but it was far from that. As he fidgeted around to get comfortable, our shoulders, arms and thighs brushed together and it felt more like home than ever before. I reached over and placed a headphone into his ear and left my hand suspended in the ear, my body and heart begging to let the rational side of my brain brush my hand against his cheek and hair but I painfully pulled away and watched his reaction to the lyrics.
“You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name It felt good to be out of the rain
In the desert you can't remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain”
His face broke out into a smile and a soft laugh ricocheted from his chest and the familiar tinge of pink radiated on the soft skin of his cheeks and the tips of his ear. He gave a slight content hum and gazed down at my fidgeting hands in my lap. He reached over and enveloped one into one of his own - and they fitted together like pages being bound to a book. As always in the presence of Spencer, I was proven wrong because the light brushing of our thighs felt like home but the feeling of my hand enveloped in his, made me realize that’s what home actually felt like and I never wanted it to end. He leaned in closer to my ear and softly whispered amongst the tune of the song playing ‘’And you would be there, with me and the horses and the cattles of course...” the words trailed off but I heard them and I thought my rib cage would give way to the thumping of my heart in that exact moment and all I could muster back “Me? I would be there?” and all Spencer could do was shake his head and another soft laugh. As he peered past me and out of the window and into the clouds as if he was imagining this ranch lifestyle, with me, the cattle and the cows.
“Of course you would be there, I wouldn’t want any other life if you weren’t there...” and that confession was all I needed to finally come to an understanding that no matter what universe we were in, whether it was the one where we were sat on the jet or on a ranch, Spencer would always my heart and I would too always have a piece of his.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*✧・゚: *✧・゚*
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kokinu09 · 17 days
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Let Go of the Reins || Chapter 5
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pairing seungmin x fem!reader
genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday
summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.
A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.
status ongoing
taglist OPEN
previous | masterlist | next
~*~
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Seungmin’s leg bounces as the cars rumble along the gravel road leading up to the ranch. His neck cranes and stretches to peek past Minho’s headrest.
“This car is going to tip over if you don’t stop rocking it with how fast your leg is moving on this bumpy road,” Chan teases as he gives his arm a light shove to lighten his mood.
“What are you so nervous about anyways? Y/N was super chill yesterday,” Han asks obliviously, laidback with his eyes closed like he hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night. Which he probably didn’t.
“Her being ‘chill’ has nothing to do with this. She’s more fun to be around than any of you.”
“Ouch! You wound us Seungmin-ah~!” Minho shouts too loudly in the small confines of the vehicle.
“Ah! Hyung my ears!” Han whines. At least he’s wide awake now. Minho chuckles as he pats his knee from across the center console.
Seungmin slouches back into his seat, propping his chin in his hand as he pouts and stares out the window. Chan reaches to place a hand on his shoulder. “Everything’s gonna work out how it’s supposed to. Just enjoy the moment.”
The younger takes in his words for a moment before letting out a sigh and smiling at their leader. “Since when have you been so philosophical?”
Chan’s smile widens at his lightened mood. “I don’t know what you mean! I’ve always been this wise!” He puffs his chest proudly.
“Whatever you say, Old Man,” Seungmin pokes with a less than serious eye roll. The car fills with the eldest’s whines of protest, claiming that he’s not old, he’s only foive.
~*~
It’s mornings like these that are some of your favorites.
You laugh as you and your best friend jump around, singing, and dancing to ‘Social Path’. Only one of the many Stray Kids songs on your playlist you’ve been blasting in the wash bays with the horses. You’ve both been at it for half the morning and were finally on the last two. And of course, you’d saved the best for last, Storm and Nova.
A giggle bubbles out of you when Storm bobs his head along while you’re dancing. Seems like the love for Stray Kids might be an inherited trait.
It’s a beautiful day. The doors are swung wide open with the sunlight pouring in. A refreshingly cool breeze is a welcomed relief from how stuffy it can get when the water steams up the place. The smell of wet (but clean) horses dominating the air, a thing that might be unpleasant to some people but was oddly satisfying for you. Probably because you’d just spent the last couple of hours washing them.
You give Storm his final spray, the suds washing away and pooling at his hooves. Then you turn your hose to the floor to push them towards the drain faster.
Watching the bubbles disappear, your mind starts to drift. You’re not really ready for this moment to end. You’d rather stay in the wash bay with Liv and blast Stray Kids for the rest of the day. But you know that’s not an option.
There’s a particularly loud bray cut through the blare of the music from one of the ‘drying’ horses a few stalls away, you swear it’s Shadow, and it draws your attention towards that side of the barn. Your eyes immediately widen when you see what, or who rather, all the commotion was about.
A group of 8 men you never thought you’d meet again, Stray Kids.
With who out in front leading the charge? None other than Seungmin. The same man who confused you by posting that photo of you on his social media. An odd sense of giddiness and hope had swirled in your chest at seeing it but then your brain kicked those feelings down into the pit of your stomach with the reminder that he is an Idol. There is no ‘keeping in contact’ with someone like him.
Olivia had rushed over to the speakers when you weren’t looking and turned the music down. It’s enough to snap you out of your daze.
“Aww! I was just about to bust into my verse!” Changbin laughs out a complaint. You also don’t miss how Hyunjin and Felix are vaguely going through the motions along to the dulled music anyways.
“Uh, hey guys! We…weren’t expecting to see you here! Did I forget about another scheduled ride?! Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Your nerves slowly turning to panic as you frantically comb your fingers through your hair, brush your shirt free of any residue from washing the horses, in a vain attempt to make yourself look presentable.
Seungmin laughs, waving his hands in front of him to ease her worries. “No, no! We’re here all on our own!” With a chuckle, he goes on when you tilt your head in confusion. “We really enjoyed our time here yesterday and were hoping for a redo.”
You stare at him.
The group of boys look at you curiously. He isn’t fazed by your silence, giving you a moment to absorb before adding, “Would you and your friend want to hang out and ride with us again?”
You must still be giving him a stupid look because Olivia shows up next to you with a sharp elbow to your ribs. “Ow,” you mumble, shooting a glare at your best friend but quickly straighten up to give the boy in front of you a much nicer smile, albeit a little awkward. “I mean, yeah, of course! We would love to but…I’m sure our boss wouldn’t appreciate us playing hooky for our shift.”
Chan pokes his head out from around Seungmin’s shoulder at that. “Actually! We’ve already cleared it with your boss! All good!” He smiles the biggest smile along with a big thumbs up.
“Oh my god! No way, really?!” Olivia exclaims while your mouth hangs open in shock. How many more curveballs will these men throw at you today?! Probably more than you can count on one hand.
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~*~
taglist
@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @defnotfertilizedtoesw @teenyfinds @bbokari711 @lakoya @chlodavids @rylea08 @keepswingin
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cringefaecompilation · 5 months
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the most dimension 20-ass moments in critical role so far
most of exu because aimee and robbie have huge d20 player energy, but these moments in particular:
fearne's shitty accent when she was faking being a ship's cook "NANCY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" "mother." "did you touch the circlet?" "yeah! that's how you hold stuff!" "if you were any gemstone, what would you be?" "i'd be a diamond cause they're hard as i am- WAIT NO NO NO NO" orym eating his own weight in pies dariax making it sound like one of opal's bullies sharted her pants with thaumaturgy
the fearne, orym and dorian intro where dorian goes "fearne, is this ship going to stop?" and she replies "i dunno, i think we're gonna crash :D"
"I NEED MORE CHILDREN!"
everyone miming eating breakfast sandwiches when they can't find bertrand
orym nearly getting bh killed because he said cake sucks to eshteross' face
imogen asking pretty out on a 3 (4) person date to help her friends not get caught, the resulting date and rejection, and all the times it gets brought up again
"maude."
"i was trying to keep a low profile!" "YOU'RE DRESSED AS THE NIGHTMARE KING!"
"HE PROPOSED!"
"what's wrong, daniel?"
everyone piling into an elevator at the same time and liam miming getting his face smashed into the wall
the entire twilight museum bit, but mostly just orym getting blocked from helping the gang three times in a row
"want some candy? wa-wa-want some candy?"
fearne spending her turn keeping watch by breathing a smiley face into ashton's head and then going back to sleep because she forgot they were taking turns
xandis
end episode "oh! right. hondir." start episode back up "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT ME THIS IS SUCH STUPID BULLSHIT!"
the karen culling
the entire first half of ep 33. esp fcg driving the crawler and ashton screaming "YOU ARE TOO OLD TO DRIVE"
"WE DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND" followed by everyone but ashton falling off the airship
"uh. guys. bones. fast. bones. lots of bones coming this way."
after a solid month of agonizing over laudna being possibly permadead she's brought back with a slap
"oops. i did it again"
fake orgy leading into horse fearne
ashton's offscreen sidequest and him using a 6th(?) level spell slot just to say "okay"
fearne's horrifying nana revealing she's got a juice bar
the goat float
"ALRIGHT, GUYS! WE'RE EATING JERRY!"
"he's OUR problematic beast!"
orym's mom showing everyone his little baby boots
a drag queen calling ashton hot after he barges in and throws trash on the floor for them to make an outfit out of
everyone interrogating an evil sword that clearly only lies and getting more and more pissed off at it as it does
orym talking to his dead family whilst laudna and chet fly overhead shooting bees at each other
feeding shithead to fcg
fearne nearly dying after spooning a pirate, getting him together with a girl that's crushing on him, and them both being so happy that they throw bh a party
"THERE WAS. NO. LIMBO." and orym quietly takes away the limbo vine
the literal shitstorm given to the party by Mi
hotboxing a tree
"TAKE YOUR NINTH LEVEL SPELL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS" was ic and i stand by it
wok sledding
imogen intimidating a reilora and then BOOKING IT behind a rock to gasp for air
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mistyheartrbs · 15 days
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another thing about i saw the tv glow that fascinates me is the like...movement (transgression?) across mediums in that to begin with it's a theatrical feature film about a tv show. and when you think about it, while there are lots of tv shows about tv (30 rock, showtime's episodes) and lots of movies about the movies (singin' in the rain, la la land) there isn't as much crossover between the two as you would expect - few if any tv shows about movies, even less in the realm of movies about tv.
when isttvg came out in theaters, brigette lundy-paine made an instagram post with this caption:
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which is a direct reference to a line their character says in the film - that the pink opaque airs on the young adult network right before they switch over to black and white movies for old people. (i'll have to double check if maddy says "movies" or "reruns" in the actual scene; i remember it as "movies") and, for much of isttvg's runtime, it both operates in tandem with and against this notion - it's a cinematic spectacle, visually gorgeous to be sure, but the scale is very small, almost claustrophobic at times, in a way that says that the experience of watching this movie wouldn't be incredibly diminished if you played it on a boxy television in the middle of the night on basic cable (so long as you had somebody to watch it with)
but maddy's line is said with a surprising and youthful sort of disdain - the pink opaque is so different from the dumb nostalgia of their forebearers (with the same winking-at-the-camera irony with which a comic period piece notes the record-breakingly fast ten-mile-an-hour horse carriage or what have you - what they see as progress already obsolete in the eye of the modern viewer), and moreover it's in the exact medium it's meant to be viewed in. it's a tv show they're watching on tv (and in fact the impetus for owen and maddy to grow closer is owen specifically saying "i want to watch it live") - versus black and white movies, the original filmic spectacle, being thusly reduced to something smaller and lesser than they were meant to be. but of course that would never happen to our favorite Brand New television show, the pink opaque, which is super cool and is going to be relevant forever! nothing like that stuff for "old people." it's indicative of how prickly maddy is but it's one of the least sentimental sentiments of what is otherwise very much a love letter to the screen. it stands out!
(and we get even more of that with the streaming version of tpo later, but i'm getting ahead of myself here)
and it's further complicated by the fact that owen views the majority of the show via home-recorded vhs tapes, handmade gifts from maddy, forbidden things. the way you watch it matters too. the way you construct your relationship with this story. which in a way queers the viewing model too; he's literally watching the show out of order!
and now getting back into the horrendously depressing streaming scene, in which schoenbrun does the impossible and makes the phrase "soup party" upsetting, the convenience is what makes it wrong. transgression in the wrong direction. anybody can watch it. you don't even need a disc, owen/isabel says in voiceover, numbly. but instead of maddy's tapes, born out of connection/love (to a degree that neither of them even fully recognize yet), this version of non-normative/alternative access is something dictated by capitalism (it's also worth noting that the streaming scene is the only moment of overt product placement in the whole film, with the new flatscreen with the LG logo all but shoved in front of the viewer). owen/isabel flicks through the episodes lazily and languidly, landing in the middle on the mr. sprinkly episode. there is no effort involved anymore, none of the personal element present in maddy's handwritten notes ("season 2 finale: guaranteed to make you cry!"), just picking and choosing.
all this culminating in a movie about television, with a pseudo-wide release and enough buzz that it did moderately well as far as indie flicks go.
yet - inserting myself into the supposedly distant third-person analytical essay, as queer theorists are wont to do - i don't really think i would have been nearly as affected by this movie if i'd just watched it on like. netflix. if it'd had commercial breaks on late-night cable ("past curfew," as owen's parents repeatedly note) that's one thing, but the modern streaming paradigm doesn't really allow for that. seeing this movie in theaters forces you to go to the theaters. it forces you to sit with other people and view it together/separately. to walk out mid-credits and talk it through with your friend and look at each other and joke "(gasp)............we're secretly in another world where that dunkin donuts is two blocks away!" when the google maps app glitches out. you have to sit with it. you can't not sit with it. it took effort to get here, and you cannot so easily get it out of your head. it's a movie about tv. the medium doesn't fit like a glove. it barely fits at all. and you are left feeling like it's been much longer than a hundred minutes.
(i'd love to see if a24 has fun with merchandising once it gets a home release - if they sell a novelty vhs tape or what)
i think a lot of that is really something to look at. much like the film itself i do not have a conclusion to this essay.
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thatgordongirl · 1 year
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Ghosts Season 1 References to the ghosts’ lives
Finally got through the first season on all the references and inferences to the ghosts’ lives, hope everyone likes the results?
Episode 1 - Who Do You Think You Are? 
Fanny is Heather’s Great-Grandmother
Mary could make baskets and died in a witch trial
Kitty ate and dislikes eggs
Julian mentions his by-election victory speech from 1991- very inspiring, very long, and a few smutty jokes. This particular by-election occurred after the death of a conservative member on 20th September 1991 in which a labour member took their place. Whether it is altering that by-election to insert Julian or if it is completely unrelated all together is unknown (Take with a grain of salt, I am an Aussie who doesn’t know the intricacies of British politics) 
Robin lived on the land first, but Fanny owned the house 
Both Alison and Captain love gardens/garden views 
When Thomas was alive, he heard a rumour that a plague girl could be heard singing in the pantry
Julian is wearing two rings: his wedding ring and presumably his Cambridge ring 
Fanny was pushed out of the window by her husband George
George was having an affair with two other men 
Mary could milk a cow
Episode 2 - Gorilla War
I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General was written in 1879, so Captain most likely heard it when he was alive 
Kitty sings The Lark in the Morning, dating back to 1778
Julian is a first from Cambridge
Once, a bear was able to see Robin
Julian references compact discs, but also seems to have some knowledge of technology
Robin references a cousin 
Julian claims to have, as a lead envoy, solved the Arabian crisis in 1991 by starting a war 
The plague ghosts know how to fix the old boiler, they were most likely there when it was fixed previously
Not a living thing, but Pat calls Thomas Tom in this episode and it’s adorable write that down
Julian refers to the Watney MP having sexual relations with horses (That’s right, plural) 
Julian references a liberal in a sailor sauna (And he was not there to learn about boats) 
Thomas most likely read Romeo and Juliet when alive
Episode 3 - Happy Death Day
Pat was killed when teaching his scouts archery, in which Keith accidentally shot him. He died calling out for someone to call his wife and driving the bus into a tree. (Self-explanatory, still horrified me)
Captain references a speech made by Winston Churchill
Robin talks about fighting with rocks and sticks and bears (recurring theme apparently)
Kitty thinks her father is dead, which may imply he didn’t die on the grounds 
Kitty’s sister Eleanor told her that people made babies by pressing their ears together 
Captain references The Blitz, a German bombing campaign that occurred during WW2, and the Luftwaffe, the German airforce 
The east wing’s drainage was put into the house in 1894
Pat’s death day was October 27th 1984
Julian mentions extending the Bramptons in 1986, he ran it through the MP expenses 
Robin has a flea in his ear and worms 
Julian shot fish in a barrel once at a Party Conference in Bournemouth
Pat’s family come every year on his death day to the tree that he crashed into, which came down after the storm of 1987
Pat has a son, Daley, and a wife, Carol
His best friend Morris had his own set of keys to their house
Pat came home one Sunday from camp and found all Morris’ clothes on the floor, he and Carol had an affair
Captain mentions the Western Desert campaign and Bernard Montgomery
Thomas had probably eaten figs and drank wine
Julian has taken part in a ‘Norwegian picnic’ and ‘Himalayan Campsite’ 
Mary says that when you saw a swan in her town it was the devil at play 
Julian is wearing a watch on his left wrist
Daley had (what I think to be) beige pants, he’s an accountant, he’s happy 
Carol is busy with the bowls club, Morris is sweet but very small
Pat’s grandson is named after him, and has Pat’s legs 
Episode 4 - Free Pass
Julian remarks that he was never fond of cornflakes 
Thomas liked eating an egg atop a cutlet, a thin slice of meat from the leg or ribs of mutton, veal, pork or chicken
Button House is from the 15th century, 1469 to be precise 
The facade is mid-16th century 
Captain assumes the actors will be dressed in loincloths, oiled up, and kissing each other. I don’t know if that’s a Tim period thing or if Captain’s just seen freaky stuff 
Henry VIII dined in the banqueting hall, he had swan, hog, dumplings and figs and stank out the privy (I’m dying rn)
Mary is from the Stuart era, Humphrey from Tudor, and Thomas from the Regency
Pat dislikes veggie sausages 
Julian likes to bet on horses 
Julian’s free pass was Samantha Fox
Both Julian and Margot had lists, Margot’s included Wolf, Cobra and John Fashanu from the 1992 show Gladiators 
Thomas’ rivalry with Lord Byron is mentioned 
Pat references video cassettes 
Thomas believes that Lord Byron stole one of his verses 
Robin asks why Toby is doing a rain dance 
Julian remarks that the free pass wasn’t a joke in his marriage 
Episode 5 - Moonah Ston
Fanny falls from the east wing window, and is notably dressed in grey
She’s Edwardian. This era is placed between 1901-1910, but some say it ended with the beginning of WWI in 1914. As Fanny mentioned having a ticket for the titanic, this would place her between 1910-1914
Julian met Barclay at a party fundraiser at Button House
Julian heard a funny story on a golf course involving Bruce Forsyth-Johnson, a British entertainer
Pat loves dogs so much he’s willing to get sick, bless him
Julian references The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
Fanny possibly ate turtle soup, oyster rissoles and pheasant 
Captain is unsurprisingly able to shoot a gun
“Gleaming bundook op from the civvy” and “boshing jerry” is Captain just saying that the civilian is good at shooting and he’ll be out fighting Germans in no time 
Mary knows how to properly prepare a pheasant
Robin had his own site on the grounds that Stonehenge apparently copied, and he remembers the ritual reading 
Fanny is disgruntled by the cutlery and says they should be on the outside, which was how she was taught 
Fanny also seems to have knowledge on Barclay’s family 
Kitty says she’s wearing what she died in, pretty self-explanatory there
Thomas is well aware of techniques for public speaking such as dramatic pauses, but clearly wasn’t good at using them
Thomas references Saint Cuthbert
Pat references Betemax 
Julian is aware of Barclay’s poker ability and his bank account in Fiji 
Robin’s connection with the moon is rooted in it being the only thing that’s been around as long as he has 
Captain mentions light pollution, which only began getting addressed in the 1950s, though he could’ve learnt about it earlier or later
Episode 6 - Getting Out 
Robin liked eating cooked meat
Julian likes fondue 
The house was worth a thousand pounds in Fanny’s era 
Julian has committed fraud to get money 
The plague ghosts have had falling outs before, but they’ve never lasted longer than 20-25 years
Pat describes having music on the go, unaware that it already exists 
Fanny hid an Arabic jewel in a box under a floorboard, it was given to her husband by Queen Empress Alexandra. He pawned it. 
Captain has ear hair 
Captain’s limbs creak, it is a joke of course, but canonical so my hands are tied
Kitty likes to talk about balls and eligible men
Robin has seen many people come and go from the house
The plague ghost skeletal remains are under the house 
Captain was aware of the bodies in the basement 
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scarareg · 4 months
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Percy Jackson and The Olympians Season 1 Review (2/3)
Part 1 • Part 3
What I dislike:
The action scenes are lacking. An example is Percy fighting Mrs Dodds: 1rst-Why did it happen in front of everyone? That makes not sense. Yes, the Mist hides stuff but if a woman attacks a teenager everyone will see it! 2nd- It was weirdly paced. Like one second Mrs Dodds was standing and the next she was dead. It took me a second to realize what happened. It was anticlimactic and Percy basically did nothing,he was just lucky Riptide opened up just in time to stop her. Another scene like that was the fight against Ares. To me it was "just fine" yet not epic. I feel it should be a little longer and I wish to see more of Ares using his battle tactics and powers, he is the God of War after all. Again, it is ok for what it is but it definitely could and should have been a bigger moment as a season finale, as Percy's moment to be a hero and prove himself, and as a demonstration of power level and difference between a mortal and a God! Also, it feels kinda insane that a guy with almost no training can defeat Ares so easy. That is a problem that stems from the lack of screen time at Camp in the first episodes,seeing Percy learning how to fight; sadly it backfired in the season finale. And you may say "well,these scenes include kids so is harder to make a bigger,more explosive,more incredible action scene than if they were adults" but it's possible. In House Of The Dragon a scene with five children fighting with only sand,a rock (that is not even used) and a dagger has way more tension than the God of War fighting our hero. The Minotaur scene was fine too. There are some changes like in the book Sally tried her best to distract it but because she is a normal human she could not do much, the whole taunting the Minotaur was Percy's stuff showing his bravery (I like the idea of Sally doing that to protect her baby tho,is cute) and Percy discovered in the process that he has inhuman agility and strength; so what they changed it's fine, my only complaint would be that the scene was super dark (all night scenes are) and it was hard to see what was going on,but I feel that at this point that is a Hollywood problem, so wathever
In the book,at the battle of Percy vs Ares,Kronos himself stops Ares from killing Perseus, but here it did not happen. That moment foreshadows Kronos interest in Percy because he wants to use him as a basel
Percy intelligence is heavily underused. In the books Percy constantly connects the dots and clues to figure out who people/monsters/Gods are; in addition to getting out of situations in creative and fun ways. Here there is none of that . An excellent example is the Lotus Casino. Book Percy figured out people there get trapped while he was talking with two boys who were not from this century. In the show Hermes just told him (which by the way,making Hermes own the place makes him an asshole who traps people for some reason, and as a Hermes fan it makes me angry).
While fighting Echidna, she do not have telekinesis powers or something, Percy is being chased by her chihuahua/Chimaera and he, of his own free will, decides to jump to the water showing his bravery and how willing he is to believe his dad has his back, and he is damn right! His father helped him and he learned that he can breathe underwater. All of these if missing
Percy did not speak even once with horses,that was the whole purpose of the Zebra,which also didn't appear in an episode titled "We Take A Zebra To Vegas"
The school acting like Percy is the son of Satan himself and that the best is for Sally to teach him from home. All of this because Percy drawing something so horrible,so despicable,so wicked ...a Pegasus(?) Like WTF! that the stupidest stuff I have ever seen. A kid drawing a Pegasus is not a sign of alarm,is a sign of being a kid, you fucking morons! Its imagination and creativity,and that's it,you are supposed to work with children,how can you be scared of that?! And if a kid is wondering around in the school's rooftop,that's on the school not the child. You supposed to be taking care of him,what is a kid doing there? That's your fault for being irresponsible!
They leaving Crusty free and happy,knowing he is a serial killer,wtf! All that scene was really weird in general. Percy just walked into the store without explaining how and when they found that place, how they know the Underworld is there, and they already knew everything about the store and Crusty,it felt unnatural and unearn. And in the book Crusty doesn't guard the doors to the Underworld,because why the Gods would leave that job to a guy like that? That's Charon's job
Lotus Casino (refering to the inside, the outside is really cool) was kinda boring, and they were trapped there and not go intentionally. It is tempting for children, that is why there are games for them to play. There is a waterslide, an indoor bungee jumping bridge, hundred of videogames. Here almost everything is just gambling and I know it is a casino but in the book is cooler. And there is VR games too, and that's it.
Charon, in both the books and any myth ever,would let you pass if you give him coins,so why did they change that and make him have control over Cerberus? Is a strange decision
The Underworld is supposed to have this kinda silly elements that subvert your expectations of it,like Charon loving suits, there are lines of new people(souls) arriving, and this fun banner that reads "Judgement For Elysium And Eternal Damnation. Welcome, Newly Deceased!" , Percy mentioned he could see Sisyphus at the distance. In the show we don't see the freaking River Styx! No Elysium and seeing Percy deciding that there is where he wants to be once he dies, I think that shows his character. No Persephone's Garden with her pomegranate trees. And the Fields of Asphodel (also known as Asphodel Meadows) are not a forest,are....well,meadows; I know,shocking, kinda hard to figure that out. By the way,that is another strange change because Rick knows what Asphodel looks like,that is why he represented them as an never ending field with the "largest concert crowd" with no electricity and no noise. Ah,also, missed opportunity for a Hazel easter egg
Hades is so TERRIBLE that I almost cried! Disney, we are talking about the King of the Underworld! Do you have idea what kind of creatures live there and they'll respect and fear him? In the books is important that he resents (hardcore) his family. His children inherit that as a fatal flaw. The reason is he had two children with momma di Angelo and he loved them dearly but Zeus wanted to kill them, and finally killed her, Hades only could save the children. Add insult to injury when his 2 brothers had children and received no repercussions for it. It is the reason he did not join the war against his father until the last second (thanks Nico!) . He also feel he got the worst job and he neither lives nor is allowed freely visit the cool, bright Olympus. All of it made him a cold person. Show Hades does not feel like he went through all of that, and if he did, it is like he did not care much. The writers are taking away his complexity and now he is a joke, a boring one.
Zeus was bad too but in a different way. He is just meh, did not make me feel anything in particular. I think it may be because when I imagine Zeus I picture him as a guy with beard, kinda like Santa Claus lmao and Lance Reddick (may he rest in peace,love him) looks nothing like him, so it was hard for me to believe he was Zeus. Maybe is just a me problem to be honest. Also, they made him kinda dumb because when Percy told him his dad is planing a war, he is just like "yeah I know, but right now is more important to fight your dad Poseidon" and that is extremely stupid,to be honest
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