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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

#the green knight #the green knight meta #sir gawain and the green knight #medieval literature #medieval history #this meta is goddamn 5.2k words #and has its own reading list #i uh #said i had a lot of thoughts?

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cant-think-of-anything · 3 years

Text

All my energy was used on the fic, you don't get a title

Basically I took the scenes of lord of shadows and replaced the characters

( @littlx-songbxrd helped me develop the plot a lot so thank you Zia)

TW: descriptions of blood and injury, mentions of homophobia and ableism

Thomas had quickly come to the conclusion that he hated the land of Fae. Not because the location itself harboured ill experiences, but rather because of his travel companions.

He glanced at said travel companions. Alastair and Christopher were attempting to assemble a fire, struggling greatly because London wasn't exactly a place of forests. Alastair's face was stern with concentration, eyebrows drawn together as they always were, a permanent appearance of disapproval. His lips were turned down slightly, frustration causing him to scrunch up his face.

It wasn't adorable, Thomas scolded himself, it was intolerable. And entirely unenjoyable. He breathed a sigh, turning away from them and back at the rushing waters of a river. They'd been sent to be audience to the Seelie court and request their assistance to defeat Belial. It was a useless excursion, the Faerie wouldn't intervene unless their own land was being threatened. But the Clave had sent them regardless.

Christopher called his name, his voice a whispered yell as to not draw attention from whatever lurked in the forests. He picked his way back, settling on his sleeping mat and looking up. Without a fire, only moonlight made anything visible. Christopher had curled up already, but Alastair was awake. He was staring up at the stars his eyes wide with something like wonder.

The sight was disarming, but Thomas turned away, before Alastair caught his stare. Nothing good could result from that. The Sanctuary was a few weeks past, and what had started as longing glances and tortured pining turned into short tempers and quick annoyance. They hadn't talked, not the way Thomas desperately wanted to, but they had argued and bickered nearly every time they crossed paths. And he despised it.

Curling his hand into a fist, he turned onto his side and willed himself to sleep.

____

Alastair was fairly certain they were lost. It was as if Faerie shifted everytime they were on the correct path, and it accomplished nothing but adding to his frustration. And apparently, Thomas's.

"We should go north." He said, his eyes glinting with annoyance.

"Are you stupid? Do you want us to get killed? We'll end up there either way."

"Your method would take longer and time is something I don't fancy to waste."

"And your brilliant solution is to- what? Traverse through an entirely unmapped territory? It's far too dangerous, and I would like to keep my head adjoined to my body."

"Maybe sometimes it would do you some good to do something dangerous."

"Oh?" Alastair whirled towards him, their faces inches away from the other, each sparked with anger. "Do something dangerous? Like you? To my memory, it got you imprisoned!"

"Perhaps it would suit you to travel in solitude! Since you always seem to prefer that anyway!"

"I do not-"

"I really do not think we should be causing this much of a disturbance," Christopher chimed in, his face twisted in confusion, head swiveling between both of them. "They're simply... directions?"

"Without directions." Alastair said, "you end up lost." His eyes stayed locked with Thomas's, head tilted to meet his infuriating height.

"We won't get lost," he hissed back.

"For someone with a tattoo of a compass you truly have a horrendous sense of direction-"

"We could just," Christopher started, flipping the map over, before looking up with wide eyes. "Go through here." He gestured at the map.

"Absolutely wonderful. Let's leave, I wish to depart as soon as we're able."

A few moments passed before a loud screech like noise emerged from the forests. Because why, Alastair thought drawing out his weapons, would anything ever be simple for him. Christopher and Thomas pressed closer when the creature burst forth from the trees. And really creature was the only world he had for it. It appeared as a demon but not one Alastair had ever studied, and from the looks on the others faces they hadn't either.

"Do we-"

The creature lunged faster than any demon could, a flash of the murky green that colored it's scales. It's claws flashed, charging at Thomas. Alastair briefly registered slipping in between the two, lodging the wooden shaft of his spear between it's jaw. He sought out Christopher sliding under the thing to stab it with his blade, killing it quickly but not quickly enough to prevent when the creatures claws raked against the top of his chest.

Air rushed out of his lungs and he felt familiar arms wrap around him, catching him before he could fall. His eyes fluttered shut on their own record. He fought to regain conciusness, he refused to be unconscious around the likes of his companions, but he felt himself dragged into blackness regardless.

---

Christopher was accustomed to his friends odd relations. He had certainly gained enough practice observing the spats they often had. But whatever anger his cousin held towards Alastair was always a puzzle to him. He was sure it was a puzzle to them too considering their never ending shifts in emotion.

He looked over at Thomas who's face was twisted in something between intense worry and sorrow. His eyes dropped to Alastair who had still not woken up, bandages covered the scratches that stretched from his shoulder to the top of his neck. He winced remembering the injury, bleeding profusely with no runes to stem it. His own worry for Alastair had occupied much of his mind. James and Matthew would be furious at such a thing but Christopher found he didn't care.

"I'll go stand watch," Christopher offered, making his way to the outside of the cave they'd taken shelter in.

Thomas hated being in debt, he remembered. When they were younger he would never accept help unless it was forced upon him, his stubborn nature preventing it. And now after Alastair had risked his life twice to help him, he must feel like he owed something.

Christopher pulled himself onto one of the rocks resting outside of the cave and tipped his head back. He missed his home. Not whatever had overtaken it in the months past, he missed Henry, he missed his parents who he'd barely conversed with since before the killings had happened. He missed Alexander even if the child cried a storm. He glanced up at the sky, noticing the first rays of dawn breaking through the clouds. He pulled himself off of his rock with a sigh. He wished for normalcy more than anything. But he doubted it would grace them anytime soon.

He ducked under the entrance of the cave, opening his mouth to call out for Thomas to get ready to depart. But Thomas wasn't awake.

He was curled onto his side, facing Alastair, both evidently asleep. Their hands stretched out the distance between them and were laced together.

Christopher sucked in a breath. "Oh, Thomas," he breathed.

He'd known of his cousin's vauge feelings for Alastair from the time that Thomas was quite a bit shorter than him. But he hadn't fully understood what the two felt towards each other. He knelt between them, gently attempting to pry their hands apart, but both their grips tightened. As if through the small action they were able to pour every unsaid emotion they'd held.

Christopher wasn't a stranger to the way the Clave treated anyone they viewed as different. The way they shut down every attempt Henry had made to better the Shadowhunter world, the way they would continue to deny any of his own attempts. They claimed to want happiness and order for all but the moment someone proved to differ from their standards they would shut them down and rid of the evidence. They would remain under the pretense of fairness while they claimed credit for any accomplishments him or his uncle managed to force into them.

Thomas never had chosen himself, never his own happiness. Christopher let go of their intertwined hands, then looking at Thomas's face. It was almost drawn up in concentration. He stood, glancing at them once more before returning to the front of the cave and yelling for Thomas to wake up so they could depart to the castle. It wasn't as much as he wanted to do, but it was all he could.

___

Thomas dumped their small pile of belongings near the foot of the bed. The Seelie Queen had apparently chosen graciousness that night and permitted them two rooms. Christopher claimed the first one, leaving Thomas and Alastair to occupy the other. Not that Alastair had woken yet.

Thomas crossed the room, refusing to look where Alastair was laying on the bed, where he would soon need to lay next to him. He made his way to Christopher's room, too tired to truly marvel at the tall marble pillars and regal decor adorning the halls and bedrooms. Christopher was cross-legged on the bed, scrawling something into a notebook under the dim lights that shone through the waterfall close to the wall.

He pulled himself onto the bed next to him, worrying at the material of his nightshirt. Christopher looked up after a moment, fixing his peculiar eyes on Thomas.

"Are you all right Tom?"

The question shouldn't have startled him as much as it did. "I'm okay."

Christopher lips tightened. "You're lying. You usually do when people ask you."

Thomas breathed a soft sigh, pulling his legs up onto the bed. "I know."

Christopher studied him for a few moments, debating something in his mind before saying "You don't have to sacrifice yourself to make us happy Thomas. Anyone who truly cares for you will not love you any less for your decisions."

Thomas startled, looking at him with widened eyes. Something in his heart sped up, as if a weight had lifted from it causing it to beat faster in it's absence. "I don't- I don't understand-"

A hand gripped his forearm. "Go back to your room Thomas. I suspect he'll wake soon."

___

When Alastair woke he wasn't in a forest. He had known the Faerie were images of royalty but the room seemed ridiculously extravagant. He wanted to pull himself up in the bed but a sharp sting on his neck forced him back down.

The door swung open then, Thomas entered with a odd look on his face. It switched to overwhelming relief when he saw Alastair.

Swallowing, Alastair rose a hand his neck. The Faeries must have worked on the wound, it had healed over somewhat but not enough to relieve him of the pain.

He heard Thomas clear his throat. When Alastair looked up again, he'd moved to the other side of his bed. "You had gotten injured in the forest. We're in the Seelie Courts now, you've been indisposed for a few hours."

"Oh." He wasn't sure what else to add.

Thomas stared at him for a few unnerving moments before making a frustrated noise. He slid onto the bed, folding his legs underneath him and giving Alastair an imploring sort of look. "I'm sorry. For everything I've done. And I'm sorry I couldn't give you the right words in the sanctuary. I'll try to give them now."

Alastair inhaled sharply, from surprise rather than pain. "I don't understand. You shouldn't be apologizing-"

Thomas half smiled before cutting him off. "Let someone apologize to you for once. You deserve as much after the way we've treated you."

Biting his lip and looking away, Alastair noticed the pile of clothes and other luggage in the corner of the room. Oh. He turned back.

"Well Mr. Lightwood I find your apology to be satisfactory, despite it still being unnecessary."

Thomas smiled fully then and something in Alastair's chest loosened.

"Does this mean I am permitted to use the bed alongside you?" His voice was teasing.

"As long as you manage to stay on your side of it."

But that rule was quickly broken, Thonas shifted close and carefully curled his body around Alastair, his head resting on in his curls and limb wrapped loosely around him. Alastair breathed a small breath of relief before pressing his face into Thomas's neck and sleeping peacefully for the first time in years.

Happy birthday Zia!! Ilysm and you deserve literally every good thing in the world, you're amazing and very talented and yeah <33

Tagging: @adoravel-fenomeno @thewarthatsavedmylife @eugeniaslongsword @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @alice-got-the-blues @writeforjordelia (lmk if you want to be added or removed)

I'll tag @youngreckless for thomastair week

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #christopher lightwood #tlh #thomastair #the last hours #tsc

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natsukitakama · 3 years

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What kind of boyfriends are they ? Cursed edition

Author note : Hello ! I hope you’re doing well ♡ I’m super happy to be able to post again, I still need to practice a little bit tell me what you think about this one. I plan to create another série “what kind of significant other are they” but for a lot of fandoms ♡.

Warning : Some spoilers / Just me fangirling over my crush

i do not own those gifs credit to the owners

The weeping monk aka Lancelot

Attentive : he tends to be quiet but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice. He used to analyze everything in order to catch fey or to fight properly and he uses this quality in your relationship. Meaning he will always know when you are down when you are angry or when you’re lying to him.

Because he knows that he tries his best to act the proper way in order to help you going through what ever bother you. However despite his sensitive nature, he took him a long time and a lot of works to be able to express his feelings. He was raised to be a weapon to be a man, not some Childs who cried over. Be patient with him it’ll worth it.

Collected : most of people believe that it’s a cursed but with him it’s actually a good thing, because he is not very loud, fight are non-existent.

Not because he doesn’t feel angry (he does) but he wasn’t raised to express his emotion or worst let them take the best of him. He is monk so he knows better than falling for wrath. It took a lot to actually make him angry. In the meantime, being quiet means he is pretty good listener and because of that he alway knows what to do when you’re about to start a fight : because he could remember what you say earlier etc. Since he is attentive when it came to you, it’s all benefit for you.

Kind : there litteraly nothing he won’t do for you. Not kidding this little baby is touch-starved and he can’t help but thank every divinity fey or not for giving such a wonderful S/O as you are.

He knows he can be harsh and sometimes he can hurt you with his words, he knows he isn’t very comfortable with physical affection. But he is trying. Because of that he will always take care of you as much as possible, and will always reminds you how much he loves you by small gesture.

The first time you saw him running into you ready to kill every man and then taking you into a safe place. You knew he was in love and that he cared about you. Most of the time he manifests his love to you by small gesture, a little flower on your desk the next morning, your favorite hot drink, a book that you might be into. Anything who appears to be small gesture but means a lot for you.

Protective : as I mentionned before, he won’t hesitate to kill anyone who might bother you. For him you far too precious for this world, you’re bringing him peace, your his heaven and there no way someone would take you away from him.

Besides no matter how hard you tried, he still believes that you need protection because the whole world is insane and you’re not ready for that. He also knows that he get a lot of ennemies because of what he did, so he has to be near just in case. No matter how hard you tried, he would always ask you to be careful (and would always have his eyes on you just to be sure). He is aware that betraying the church would give him a lot of ennemies who might try to take you away as an hostage.

Jealous : he is a possessive man fight me on this. I can see him sending death glare at everyone who might look at you for too long.

This jealousy came from différents things : First since he is a touch starved baby he wants all your attention on him, he doesn’t want someone to enjoy what he should be the one to experiment. Second he knows that you are out of his league, he doesn’t deserve you you’re a whole light while he is nothing but a shadow. He was blessed by your love for him and there no way he would share this. Third, I can picture him as a primal man, no matter how hard he works to be a monk a good believer, I’m pretty sure deep down there is an alpha.

The green knight Aka Gawain

Emotional : he might be a strong soldier, one of the best fey’s protector this man is a huge teddy bear. I’m pretty sure he is always touching his S/O : taking their hands, hugs them, kiss them. It’s written on his face he is clingy fight me on this.

In addition I believe he is pretty sensitive and might feel when something is wrong with you. Each time something happen he will always be here reminding you that he is here, nothing is going to happen, you’re going to be fine. He is pretty easy to read actually although he claims that he can keep secret and anything (which is true) he can’t lie to you. You just have a power on him, he get overwhelmed everytime you’re here. So if he is hiding something all you have to do is to look at him right into his eyes and he would give up.

Protective : not a surprise. He probably lost his whole family and some of his friends as well so he won’t let something happen to you.

He might be even difficult than Lancelot, because he can be pretty bossy (especially because he works a lot as a leader) , he will order you to stay at your place and to not leave until it’s very necessary (meaning someone is in your house and you need to run away otherwise it’s never necessary for him). He just can’t loose you, it will break him. Also he tends to be distracted because fo you, you just had this power on him.

Loving : As I said before the man is clingy, but it’s more than : his eyes are screaming « I love Y/N ». He sweats love. I can’t explain he is vibing his love.

That’s why he is always close to you, always holding your hand, always kissing you (his kiss my god deep and slow to appreciate every second of it the type to take your breath away). When this man loves he L O V E S. When you’re in private he tends to be pretty clumsy which tends to get well... deeper when you two get intimate. Even when you’re not around people can tell when is thinking about you (99% of the time honestly) I won’t be surprised he is the worship type.

Romantic : I don’t know he just seems to be the kind of man of taking you into a wood walking together until finding a cute little spot with a river or something. Since he is a fey he feels pretty close to earth in general. He is always spoiling you with meaning gift, like a flower who is supposed to represent love, buying you the book you were always talking about.

Maybe this is just me, but I can totally see him doing those kind of things like dancing with you while looking tenderly at you, always showing you off, writing you letter or anything. He spoils you a lot, anytime he gets the chance to buy something he knows you put interest on he would buy without a second thought. Since he is a fey, he is closed to the nature so he might even craft you something like a flower crown or anything.

Passionate : I told you when he loves he loves, meaning everything he will do to you, he will do it while being 100% focused on you. He wants to cherish you, praises you, makes you feel like you’re a goddes in every way.

I said his kiss would take your breath away but so does his smile or his caress, he does with such an intensity. No man had treated you like this before. During intimate moment, he would always whisper sweet things into your ear, worship your body as if you were a divinity. At the end of your session you can’t feel unloved that’s absolutely impossible.

Merlin

Tease : that’s how he flirts that’s how he seduces that’s how he shows you he loves you. Although he never does this to be mean, he can’t help but giggle at seeing you being all red from embarrassment or because you’re angry at him.

Most of the time it’s a cute teasing, but when he wants to fluster you he won’t hesitate to use his skilled tongue to tease the hell out of you until you’re practically begging at him for his attention. Of course he will oblige. It’s just so natural for him that he would do it without even realize that he was teasing you. Most of the time it’s all planned, so he can get your attention without asking you to (he is so proud I swear).

Jealous : okay so Lancelot is jealous in the primal way but Merlin is on another level. He wants you to be his, he wants everyone to know that you’re taken and he won’t tolerate someone flirting with you or even staring at you.

Unlike Lancelot, Merlin won’t bother sending death glare instead he will fight them : using his power to trick them or using his silver tongue to make them feel like there nothing. Remember that scene with Lenore ? Where her future husband was talking shit about her ? All he wanted was to throw him a spell. Best believe he would the same to anyone who might be to close to you. You belong to Merlin and only him, also don’t expect him to be kind when you two would be at home after the incident.

Loving : we saw the way he was looking at Lenore, this man like Gawain vibes love. It’s just written on his face, sometimes it’s cursed cause he is alway afraid someone might use you against him.

But 99% of the time it’s a blessing, Merlin during his long life has experimented every aspect of love sexual or not. So he knows how to please you, he knows how to caress you, how to kiss you, and he is sucker of your reaction each of them are a piece of heaven for him. He is not as passionate as the green knight but you best believe that every inch of your skin would feel loved (and he doesn’t need to have you under him to do that). He has his way to look at you, anyone even people who never meet him before would noticed how he is into you.

Secretive : because he loves you and would die for you. He tends to keep a lot of things for himself not that he doesn’t trust you, but in his mind the less you know the better. It’s always a matter of what to do to protect Y/N.

So yeah he would have a secret but will never lie to you, that’s something he can’t do to you. Besides he doesn’t need that he get a pretty skilled tongue and knows what to do to bring another subject instead of answering your question. Since he tends to tease you a lot, all he has to do is to tease you so he would be able to change the subject. At some points you would notice his behavior but since he does that all the time you understood that he might keeps so secret between you two which make you sad. Maybe one day you’ll confront him about it ?

Shy : believe it or not, but the man still feels some butterflies on his stomach every times he sees you. That’s what make him shy. Because he knows he is falling in love but love can be tricky or dangerous so he is a bit afraid besides he knows he gets some reputation.

So yeah sometimes he is flustered when he hear you laughing or just sees you smile at him. He takes him time to admit that he is into you but once he admits it, this shyness will leave for a more playful Merlin. He was with a lot of people during his life, but he tends to got shy everytime you’re acting “innocent”. When you’re taking him on a walk enjoying any treasure that you got from nature, or just enjoying the simple. One day you were in a city, and some bards where playing around you couldn't help but take his hand to dance with him. That spontaneity never failed to make him feel like a teenager living is first love.

#Cursed Netflix #the weeping monk #the weeping monk x reader #the weeping monk x you #Merlin #Merlin x reader #Merlin x you #the green knight #the green knight Gawain #Gawain x reader #Gawain x you #Green knight x reader #green knight x you #cursed Netflix headcanon #daniel sharman #matt stokoe #gustaf skarsgård

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samnyangie · 3 years

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Personal reviews on RSL filmography

Rsl, iI thought it’d be a good idea to record my thought on each films rsl was in, it was something I always wanted to do...

Rsl in total, was starred in (excluding tv series etc) 27-ish films, to be honest, considering his years as an actor(approximately more than 30 years) he wasn’t starred in that many. We all know why lol

Just saying I’m not a film expert, therefore the list is very subjective.

The reviews with trigger warning (r*pe, g*re etc): Tape, Killer: Journal of Murder, A glimpse of hell. Tho in the writing I’ve censored them with * since I don’t feel comfortable saying them here

There isn’t particular spoilers except for dps, tape, and ground control

The favourites (literally my life time films)

Dead Poets Society

I assume many would agree, and as many would have, it was my first ever rsl film, like I was on the plane and it was one of the films they offered, and I was like, oh I think i heard of this, so I watched and instantly loved it. The message is very relevant to this day, the cinematography is very beautiful and somehow nostalgic. I was horrified with Neil’s death. Tbh now I’ve seen too many memes and all kind of things from the fandom (which I’m grateful for!) I thought the heartfelt I once had would deluded a bit, however when I watched it again last April with my family at the cinema and it still moved me very deeply.

The age of Innocence

Okay, unpopular opinion here, I love this so much. It’s my all time favourite rsl film. It even outruns dps tiny winy bit haha. Aside from how he had tiny winy screen time, appearing at the end but the fact that he played quite an important role and him being gorgeous in it just<33 I couldn’t help but smiling! It just the whole film was so much of my cup of tea? The melodrama and the hypocrisy hidden by elegance among the upper social classes in 19th century is just what I needed. The more I watch it, the more I understand the characters and their emotions, it’s one of those films you should keep visit to discover the things you weren’t aware of before. I watched it again this morning and i couldn’t stop thinking about it. However, I know some people find it boring and I understand why, my sister is one of them lol(except for a bit where rsl was in) but i think it’s more complex than what it appears to be at a first glance haha. In conclusion, it became one of my comfort film to watch time to time.

The ones I like<33

Swing kids

At first viewing, I didn’t expected much because it had underwhelming reviews but when I actually saw it, I thought it was quite decent and more and more I watched it, I felt like it was underrated. Yes, I think some directing choices were bit old fashioned and cheesy especially the ending, I’m not saying it was a perfect masterpiece but it deserves more recognition than it has now. Also in spite that there’re some parts being too simplified, it touched on something other films about ww2 normally don’t. It was interesting to see the German perspective on it than Jewish or the allies perspective like many of them does, but of course the latter perspectives matter, it could be argued that they more valid than the former, which partly was where sk criticised for, however, the portrayal of the varied reactions of the German people (in this one particular the teenagers) has its value in their on way. Anyway along side with it, the music and the dance scenes were great, without exaggeration, though Swing kids isn’t my fav, peter’s solo dance scene is my favourite scene in any movies I’ve ever watched. I mean that scene had both visuals and meaning as it demonstrated Peter’s determination as well as resentment with a hitch of unsureness. Rsl acting in that scene was just phenomenal, it’s not about showing off the dancing skills but he portrayed every mixed emotions peter has from his expression and the moves, I just can’t talk about this enough especially this scene was the reason I started fallen for him. lol

Much ado about nothing

Much ado is something I never seen anything like so it was a refreshing exprience. I barely watched Shakespeare on screen kind of thing. Though I felt there were some bits too cheesy for me but they are also the charms in the same time, and the cinematography was pretty also Claudio aka rsl, it was like an official announcement of declaring my worship on this man. Especially it was after SWING KIDSSSS so I couldn’t help it now everyone knows how I fallen for him but no one can blame meeeeee Anyway, it’s a really good film to watch when you want be relaxed with cup of tea maybe hehe

In the gloaming

I heard about it before I watched it, that it’s a heart wrenching, tearful piece, though I didn’t managed to cry, it’s just.... painful and in a way heartfelt. I liked that story telling was calm and collected rather than forcing you to join the sob party, just showing the characters to carry on. And thanks to the great acting from the cast, the characters could be emphasised and understood, personally the older sister was the most relatable character for me, well, eldest complex lol. In short I liked it but it’s not something I would watch it often.

Last days of Disco

As a person who looks at aesthetic in films, I simply enjoyed this for that tbh. I don’t know, I just liked the feeling. But I don’t think it’d be everyone’s cup of tea. I love the day time clothes the girls wore in the film. Tbh I love the music too, I think I love all the films of rsl with music in it. Speaking about rsl, oh rsl, he’s.... His character might be bit unlikable but he was just.... This is why I can’t unlove his characters even the debatable ones<33

They were decent! (I would recommend it)

Married to it

This is the first and last ever attempt of rsl of romcomssss The film itself is cliche to be frank it’s like love actually but it’s about marriage life + it’s not christmas but I like heartfelt cliche stories like this, if anyone also loves this type of story, it’s really worth watching, it’s one of my comfort films, also, rsl is so pretty I mean he always is but to see him being a office man with a baby face made me go awww my baby grew up heheh I wish he did another romcom like this or more preferably, melodramatic romance, I’d have made a shrine of it and worship it every morning lol

The boys next door

I kind of smiled while watching it throughout, if you want something that is heartfelt and touch on some serious topic about social workers and the people with mental disorder, Rsl plays a character who has (I think it was) Schizophrenia and troubled relationship with his father(Deja vu I know) but general atmosphere tend to be quite humourous. I don’t get me wrong, though it’s light hearted, it doesn’t mean they treat the topic in the same way. There’s a scene where the protagonist imagining the one of the characters with the disorder talking eloquently and honourably at the court on the rights and the dignity of the people with mental disorders deserve to/should have and they’re just the same people as the people without mental disorders. It was a powerful scene.

My two loves

Rsl’s first ever screen debut film! Hehe it’s about a woman who is discovering her sexual identity and the conflicts within I personally thought it was fairly sensible depiction but I can’t say for sure whether it was accurate or else, since I don’t think it’s my place to say it:) But if you’re interested, it’s on YouTube, you can just search for it or go to this post I made. Fun fact: since it was his debut film, it credits him as he’s real name, Robert L. Leonard, I just find it amusing haha

Tape

It’s another type of film I don’t encounter that often, I enjoyed it, especially with Neil and Todd’s reunion lol. Rsl mentioned how he enjoyed it because it felt like doing a play, my first impression was that the structure is like a play, though the camera work made me quite dizzy haha. But the dialogues, the acting, I think it was quite spot on. Especially the human contradictions and hypocrisy side of it. The most people assume the baddie in the film is Jon the character rsl played and has a distaste for him. I mean how can anyone love a character who is accused of r*pe but to be honest, Vincent for me seemed just as problematic, both of them are hypocrites for sure in their own different ways but in the end we can’t be sure what’s really the truth or not. It’s about the vagueness, and phychology and the uncertainty from the audience on who to believe(well, myself included, most would trust on Amy’s claims since she’s the victim in the accusation, but by her denying the claims, making everything way unclear,) so I don’t know. I don’t really have an opinion haha tho I don’t believe nothing happened because Amy denied so, even Umma Thurman who played her, said that her interpretation was that Amy lied. I felt it’s endless rabbit hole this film. Sorry I couldn’t worded it better.

My best friend is a Vampire

It’s cringey and weird but there’re odd charm to it. Vampire rsl’s so cute as well.... and I think it’s the only film, he acted kind of flirty ? So for that itself I’d like to appreciate itttt And it’s so 80s/90s, like it has general odd nostalgia like all films from that age has. I saw a Korean blog about rsl films and this was mentioned, that- they said- it’s a bible of rsl’s adorableness and I think that sum up the film perfectly.

Mr&Mrs Bridge

Before this was in ‘I mean it was fine” category, but I watched it again and now I want to retract my statement lol Still isn’t my fav but I noticed how delicately depicted each characters are, Mr and Mrs Bridge in particular. This film is alternatively about the changes in the young generation regarding liberty, feminism, free expression especially on sex. It’s in the perspective of the bridges, the mother and father who is old fashioned and conservative (as it was normal in their previous generation) and the children who are the young generation, and the misunderstanding and conflicts between them. After all it all happened not only because of the difference but also the lack of communication, which rsl emphasised in his interviews. I found it interesting that they made it seems like the Bridges truly existed with the video footage and (with the ending) describing what happened to each family member in text with photos. When I watched it at first I was really confused if it was based on a real life. I think what they wanted to suggest was that the Bridges every typical American family at the time. It was something everyone was going through. I said previously I didn’t get why Rsl’s character (the youngest in the Bridges) treated his mother so coldly. Honestly I do get why, but I guess I felt so bad so the mother haha

I mean it was fine

The safe passage

It was okay but to be honest it didn’t stood out to me. It was okay. The story, the characters weren’t that interesting. I wish they extended it longer to go depth with their family relationship or something.

A painted house

I find it likeable, it has a chill, old folk story vibe, but same as previous one. it didn’t really stand out except for shirtless rsl, do close ups you cowards

Bluffing it

I was really fond of the premise of this film and I think it has great intention. It was specifically made to promote the awareness of illiteracy and how to get support. However, I don’t get the reason of Jack the protagonist’s illiteracy. Unless, it was common occurrence in America at the time, I feel like it’d have been more convincing if he was in poor family hood, so there was no time to learn at school due to working at young age...? I mean, just finding it hard to believe he passed the high school just like that, I mean the teachers or anyone should have noticed it, maybe I’m missing something here but it seemed unlikely to me.

Ground control

Again, I liked the message, as it depicted how frightening and difficult job the ground controller is, by one mistake could take away the lives of hundreds, especially as someone who goes on planes a lot... But it was quite cliche throughout, I just couldn’t get engaged to it. But I do admit at the end when the protagonist runs off to the landing zone see the pilot who he had just saved, they acknowledged each other and have eye contacts was truly wholesome. Rsl as cocky, bad boy was such a icing on the cake, I loved it so much. Chewing gum in every scene lol I hope he plays these sort of characters more often. I saw someone criticising him saying he has narrow spectrum of just playing nice boy roles like Neil but I really wanted to debunk the narrative and this could be one of the examples!

Chelsea walls

I knew that this has split reviews but nonetheless I think worth to watch it, 1. Ethan and rsl re union, 2. Ethan is the directer of the film and rsl sing in it. But I have to say, it’s one of those hard to follow art indie film so I couldn’t finish it on one go. I feel like I have to devour it over and over again. Maybe later on I grow fond of it more lol But his character, I loved him so much. He’s just has everyone don’t touch me, I’m a cocky artist vibe, there’s a scene where his annoying friend annoying him and he looks up and says: ‘Fck off’. Absolute golddddd not to mention he sings and plays guitar so beautifully<333

Well... it’s not my cup of tea

The Manhattan project

I don’t think the film it self was that bad, it’s about high school boy who find out the existence of some nuclear energy research lab and stole the energy to make his own nuclear bomb. I just don’t get the thinking process of the protagonist. It really frustrated me. He seemed apathetic and unlikable I disliked him throughout and that’s why I didn’t really enjoyed it. I mean it has humour and ridiculous storyline might be humorous to some. But more importantly there was such little screen time for rsl!! LIKE WHY? WHY PEOPLE?? HE LOOKS LIKE A FRESH HUMAN MOCHI!!! It makes me soooo mad to think about it

Killer: Journal of Murder

Well, first of all, it had a lot of graphic things than I imagined, brutally murd*red bodies, execution, and r*pe scene, gosh I was strucken by it when I saw that, I had to skipped that scene. It’s based on a real event and a real criminal called Carl Panzram, so if you’re aware of it, it might be more intriguiging to see. But personally for me... meh, I don’t think directing was good as it failed to portray it enough for me to comprehend fully.

A Glimpse of Hell

This is also based on a true event of a tragic accident in the us battleship in Iowa in 1989. They shows tragedy lin a blunt, brutal way by showing horribly damaged bodies of the soldiers torn into pieces, all the horrid things directly so be warned about that. I was quite alarmed because i didn’t expect to see it haha there’s no much to say. The film quality was so so for me. I feel their approach wasn’t appropriate, they were clearly trying to make it dramatic which is fine but in a melodramatic emotional way. It didn’t work because first, there aren’t enough portrayal of the characters for me to get attached, secondly it added the unnecessary exaggeration it prevented me from being emotionally involved or even to think about it. In my opinion, I think it’d have been better if they made it more restrained, dry, focus on the accuracy. For example like 1987 or Zodiac, I mean both of them has dramatic elements since they’re not a documentary but they were not overdone, in a contrary added emphasis to their message/conclusion. I know it’s easier said than done but it was something I consistently felt during it.

Sir.... I’m sorry but-

Standoff

Haha... it’s very peculiar... the directing is off and it just weird. I knew it was bad already but I watched it because rsl as a cop with gunssssssss just... so rare and just.... something else. There’s no way of me missing that seriously. Tbh him doing an action stunt isn’t what I imagine when it comes to him and there’s really any actions scenes anyway but it really was something. Like the character he played here really became my soft spot Hehehehe he was pretty and plus, tbh it’s kind of film I’d make fun of while watching so everything was (alomst) forgivable. There is a recent thing I think about, since this is about a cult, I kind of hope he’d at some day play a role like Eli Sunday from There will be blood: a manipulative, deceitful and maddened priest with twisted faith. Though Paul Dano did a grand job, the idea was in my head the whole time. Well, it’s a shame he wasn’t any of those here lol

Driven

From what I seen, the majority of people seem to unanimously hate this film, and after watching it I became one of those ppl. At least Standoff could be make fun of and rsl held gunssss but this...... I want to say so many things... I feel like they should have chose either fancy, fast paced, thrilling racing film or detailed depiction of emotions/relationships with the racers and people involved in it, I know both can be done, but I think that was outside of their ability, but since they tried to do that at once, it became a mess that doesn’t go either way. And the characters, any of them, including rsl’s are narrow or impossible to understand. I mean rsl did great himself, it was not about acting, the problem lies on the script and editing in my opinion. Also there were so many unnecessary characters made me question of their existence. Luckily rsl’s character isn’t one of them, however because of them, he had to squeeze in and unable to elaborate, which is a shame as he was an interesting character and someone rsl rarely plays; a arrogant and opportunist agent/brother of the protagonist, who would do anything for success... ha.... whyyyyy

This is it. If I watch other stuff I might add to it in the future. Overall, I know I’m biased but I do like His filmography, I do have appreciations in every one of them in different way to the good ones to bad. He may have disagree, but I love his acting on screen, well, I barely seen him on stage (crying)

Edit: as some of you could see, I’ve edited this over and over again haha elaborating on thing or the contrary. I can say with a glimpse of hell I practically managed to watch every rsl films out there lol except for the i inside and the short film he did called a dog race in Alaska. But with the former I’m not interested and already know the storyline, and the latter is just impossible to find, trust me I did my best;;

So to sum up: I HAVE MASTERED THE RSL FILMOGRAPHY!

#robert sean leonard #rsl #films #filmography #personal #thoughts

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mst3kproject · 3 years

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Atlas in the Land of the Cyclops

Here we have a movie with a big, brawny hero in a very short skirt, whose hobbies include drinking potions, napping, and bending prison bars! He stars in a film that is poorly-made, mythologically questionable, and deliciously ripe for heckling. What more could a MSTie possibly want?

Long ago, Ulysses blinded the cyclops and outsmarted the witch Circe, and they’re still pissed about it. As the movie begins, they’re on the verge of completing their revenge by murdering Ulysses’ last descendants. The last king of Ithaca is killed in a raid, but his young son is smuggled away and left in the care of an old shepherd. Upon hearing of the slaughter, Maciste goes to the land of Sadok to save Queen Penope and the other women of Ithaca, who have been taken captive by Circe’s descendant, Queen Capys. On the way he saves Capys from a rockslide and they fall in love, each not knowing who the other is… which goes on to make things very awkward later. Nobody in the movie is called ‘Atlas’.

Nobody Named Atlas Goes Anywhere Near the Land of the Cyclops is a bit oddly put-together. Theoretically the plot – the need to protect baby Prince MacGuffin from Queen Capys’ soldiers – is established quickly, but then it seems to take a while before anybody makes any progress. This is because a lot of the early plot developments happen by complete accident.

After making sure the baby is safe, Maciste sets out for Sadok. He quickly finds out where Capys is keeping the Ithacan prisoners, but this isn’t clever detective work – it’s just a coincidence, when some soldiers ask him to help them carry a giant amphora into the palace. Meanwhile, Capys has been told that somebody named Maciste knows where Baby MacGuffin is, and orders her soldiers to find this man and bring him in alive. Her Vizier, Ephetus, does so – but again, it’s an accident! He arrests Maciste for wandering into ‘The Forest of the Vestals’ and sentences him to death for that before ever learning his name!

Once Maciste is in Capys’ custody the movie finally seems to figure out where it’s going, but this over-reliance on coincidence makes the first half of Nobody Named Atlas Goes Anywhere Near the Land of the Cyclops feel very muddled. The only thing that really needs to be an accident to make the plot work is Maciste and Capys meeting in Circe’s cavern without knowing they’ve already sworn to destroy each other. Following that with more coincidences feels like filling time.

The bit where Maciste is arrested is really weird, actually. The Vestals appear to be playing Blind Man’s Bluff, and Maciste just wanders into the middle of it. The blindfolded woman bumps into him and feels up his pecs for a moment while he stands there grinning awkwardly, then she pulls her blindfold off, screams, and faints. Soldiers then run out of the bushes and arrest Maciste.

So that was odd… then there’s the way Ephetus decides to have Maciste executed for harassing the Vestals. They put him on a board over a lion pit (every ancient kingdom has a lion pit) and tie a long rope to each of his wrists. Then six white guys in green skirts pull on one rope, and six black guys in white skirts pull on the other. Eventually, of course, Maciste overpowers both teams and everybody but him gets to be Fancy Feast. Only once that’s all over does Ephetus realize that this is the guy the queen wants delivered to her alive.

There’s other weird shit that goes on, too. In another sequence, Maciste is getting his ass beat by Ephetus’ flunky Mumba (Paul Wynter from Mole Men Against the Son of Hercules, still buffer and oilier than the guy playing Maciste) and, having recently been drugged, is barely able to fight back. He gets a second wind when Mumba throws him against another giant amphora, which breaks, dousing him in wine. Maciste blinks a few times, and then suddenly becomes unstoppable. Was it the alcohol, or the blow to the head? There’s a truth serum that is administered by pouring it into an enormous wine goblet… and this isn’t just a thing for Maciste, either, everybody in this movie drinks booze from glasses the size of their own head. Nor can we forget the guy who gets thrown overboard from a ship, and out of nowhere a shark just appears and eats him immediately.

None of these are a full-on WTF Moment but all of them are kind of bizarre and many of them got a laugh out of me. A lot of them also tie in to the movie’s main obsession, which is Maciste’s Feats of Strength.

We are treated to many of these, all of which go on a little too long. They are filmed in loving detail, particularly focusing on the muscles in Maciste’s back, which are so well delineated that they almost comprise an anatomy lesson. We get the obligatory lion-wrestling scene (totally separate from the later lion pit scene), in which we are relieved to learn that yes, Maciste does have underwear beneath that miniskirt. We get him holding up a stone roof that’s threatening to collapse, there’s the giant amphora and the inevitable prison bars, all while Maciste makes some very constipated faces.

My favourite bit is when Maciste rolls a giant boulder into the middle of a road so the soldiers can’t follow him. What makes it funny is that this is clearly not the first take: the boulder has been rolled repeatedly, and there are places where the paint has come off to show the white Styrofoam underneath.

All this emphasis on Maciste’s rippling trapezius muscles makes the movie feel just a tad homoerotic. One shot where the camera pans slowly around Maciste’s body while Capys walks a circle around him could be an attempt to depict the female gaze – a very rare thing in movies. But I don’t know what to tell you about the Maciste-vs-Mumba fight scene, which is either trying very hard to be sexy or else I’m just looking through tumblr-coloured glasses again.

The climactic battle with the cyclops is pretty great. The cyclops is played by a normal-sized stuntman made to look like a giant through camera angles, which means that Maciste can never be in the same shot with him. There are ways to do this well but Nobody Named Atlas Goes Anywhere Near the Land of the Cyclops does not use those – instead we just get some really funny jump cuts.

According to the movie, the reason Queen Capys wants to carry out her ancestress’ revenge on Ulysses is because until it is complete, she is under a curse. Capys herself describes this as being ‘forced to live in hatred’, but it is very unclear what this means. Early on, Ephetus confesses his love for Capys and she replies that she doesn’t know what the word means – this made me think perhaps her curse was an inability to fall in love. A few minutes later, however, she has laid eyes on Maciste and his sheer manliness thaws her icy loins in a matter of seconds. So… is her curse supposed to be that her subjects hate her? They hate her because she keeps feeding them to a cyclops! She could stop that at any time! Her curse can’t be that nobody can love her, because Ephetus and Maciste both do!

I mentioned that Nobody Named Atlas Goes Anywhere Near the Land of the Cyclops shares an actor – Paul Wynter – with Mole Men Against the Son of Hercules. It also shares a director, Antonio Leonviola (he also made Thor and the Amazon Women, the movie that runs over the opening credits of Cave Dwellers). Maybe that’s why both movies have an evil queen who is supposed to be redeemed by her love for Maciste. You may recall that I didn’t think Mole Men did this very well – Halismuya continued torturing people even after her supposed change of heart. Land of the Cyclops does a bit better.

We don’t actually get an impression of Capys’ journey, but we do see the beginning and end of it. As the movie begins, she’s callously throwing victims to the cyclops and looking forward to breaking her curse by killing Ulysses’ last two descendants. At the end she sacrifices her life trying to save Baby MacGuffin despite knowing that it means she will never be free. Her motivations for switching sides are unclear – she says that knowing Maciste has ‘changed her nature’ but we don’t ever see him trying to convince her that this child deserves to live. She does remark that when she’s with Maciste she’s ‘only a woman’ rather than a queen… so maybe he brought out her maternal instincts?

I also don’t know what Ephetus’ determination to kill Queen Penope along with her son is all about. She’s not a descendant of Ulysses, but he actually puts off killing Baby MacGuffin – the thing he believes his queen wants him to do – until he has identified the child’s mother. The movie also never explains why this kid, whose father was the king of somewhere else entirely, apparently has the right to succeed Capys as ruler of Sadok.

Nobody Named Atlas Goes Anywhere Near the Land of the Cyclops is a pretty lousy movie, but it’s a fun lousy movie. It’s kinda racist and kinda sexist, but no more so than a thousand other movies of its vintage. The only complaint I might have about its entertainment value is that it needed more crappy monsters. The cyclops is pretty bad, but he doesn’t show up until the very end. Fortunately, the rest of the movie has plenty of other stupid shit to fill it out.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #my cheese steak #atlas in the land of the cyclops #nobody named atlas goes anywhere near the land of the cyclops #60s

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angrylizardjacket · 4 years

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heard your name in every love song {Ben Hardy} 1

1. when he was looking out for me (i would pretend he was my summer fling)

Summary: When you’re twelve and you have a crush on your babysitter, your parents think it’s puppy love, think it’s cute, and you’ll forget about it soon enough.

A/N: 2266 words. Female!Reader. okay so the sprained ankle in Space Jump is a direct reference to something that happened in my theater class, that being a dude snapped his fucking femur playing Fruit Salad. RIP adam’s femur for the following few months. he’s fine now, that was like 8 years ago. whatever. are all these theater games i mention real? i’ll never tell. here’s part 1. DISCLAIMER: NO CREEPY SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WOULDN’T DO THAT; THERE’S A LITTLE BIT OF PINING FROM Y/N BUT THAT’S IT. there’s a few assumptions made abt Y/N’s life; only child, parents (plural, idk how many, doesn’t matter), plays Crash Bandicoot and Mario Kart, takes theater classes outside of school.

the mutant brotherhood: @daisy-lu @hervoidparadise @nedmjpeter @ultrunning @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @clementimee @that-fandom-sucks-tho @cjand10 @rest-is-detail @baileymae @rosesvioletshardy @onceuponadetectivedemigod @hazelstyles94 @bitchylittleredhead @bihemian-rhapsody @sweatyexpertgardenpanda @whereeverythingisbetter @dedxbed @xxencagedxx @glittrixvibe @a-girl-with-stress @sunflower-ben @pxroxide-prinxcesss @mrsmazzello @cubedtriangle @haileymorelikestupid @misscharlottelee @nevilles-insinuations @jovialcreatorkidtoad @brianmaysclog @sambuckywarrior @hey-yo-bedussey @bubblyanis @lifesciencesbois @elektraofcrete @diosanaz @bbdoyouloveme @kirstansworld @okilover02 @cardboardbenmazzello @dreashappyworld @juliarose21 @simonedk @greycuby @emmasunshiine @dinotje @qtrogerina @spiketacus @nympha-door-a @local-troubled-writer @emphatic-af @wh0a-thisisheavy @lustgardn @banginashton

When you’re twelve, and almost at the end of your first year of high school, you get into a fight with your parents as to whether or not you still need a babysitter. Much to your chagrin, however, they don’t see twelve as ‘practically sixteen, which is practically an adult’ and you sulk for the full three days leading up to the night they were going out. The night of, you’re fully intending on staying in your room, until there’s a knock at the door, and you hear a voice that is absolutely not your usual babysitter.

“Be good,” your parents call to you as they’re leaving, having noticed where you’d cracked the door to your room to see who it was. You make a face at them, but you’re surprised to see a kid from Sixth Form on crutches, who is absolutely not Madeline, standing in the hallway awkwardly. You’re pretty sure you’ve seen him around school, maybe he’s on the soccer team? You’re not sure.

“You’re not Maddy,” you tell him, opening the door a little wider, and he seems surprised for a moment to see you there. A kind, awkward smile appears on his face as he regards you with gentle amusement.

“Well spotted, I’m Ben, Maddy’s got the flu,” he explained easily, and offered his hand, “you’re Y/N, right?” And he’s trying so hard, but you’re still kind of mad at your parents for insisting on a babysitter in the first place.

“Who else would I be?” You asked flatly, which surprised a laugh from Ben, but you shook his hand anyways; you had to give him props for trying, “why are you using crutches?” You asked outright, since you’re pretty sure he wasn’t using crutches last time you saw him at school. You turned, heading for the living room, deciding to at least give him a chance.

“Sprained my ankle in class the other week,” he explained, hobbling along behind you.

“Sport or just P.E?” You asked, throwing yourself onto the sofa and picking up the TV remote. Ben was quiet for a long moment, and when you look at where he’s sitting gingerly on the edge of the sofa, he’s making a face like he doesn’t quite want to admit the truth.

“Theater sports,” he explained, which piqued your interest, which, of course, you try not to let show on your face, because if your babysitter knows you already think he’s cool, you might die of embarrassment. But also, you suddenly feel incredibly validated for taking those theater classes every Thursday afternoon.

“They’re -” he tries to explain, but you give another eye roll.

“I know what theater sports are,” you tell him, and his smile turns amused.

“You do?” He asks, and you think he might be a little bit impressed, or perhaps it was just wishful thinking, either way, you nod firmly, “well I was in the middle of Space Jump - you know Space Jump, right? Where you start an activity and then someone else calls ‘Space Jump’ and you have to freeze and they have to make a new scene from your freeze, and then someone else comes in -” he explained, mostly to save you the embarrassment of admitting you didn’t know the game, “well I was up on one leg on a chair, climbing the rigging of a ship, you know how pirates do, and I froze, and -” he gestured how he’d fallen off the chair, with accompanying sound effects.

“Couldn’t you have just put your other foot down and balanced yourself?” You offered, and he shook his head, expression adamant.

“It’s all about the commitment to the bit; I was trying to entertain them, and the best way I can do that is to put myself out there one-hundred percent,” he told you sincerely, “you’ve always gotta follow through.”

“You sprained your ankle,” you pointed out, “isn’t that dangerous advice?” He deflates a little, looking down at his leg.

“Follow through but use your common sense, you’ve got common sense, don’t you?” He asked, giving a wry smile, two which you nodded diligently, “don’t get yourself hurt, then,” he suggests, before changing the subject quickly, “you hungry yet? Your parents said we could order pizza.” You’re easily excited by the thought of pizza, a rare treat your parents allowed you whenever you were babysat.

It’s a pretty uneventful night, all things considered, you order pizza, and he lets you win at Crash Team Racing, and you’re falling asleep to a comedy movie until Ben gently suggests that you go to bed. You’re too tired to argue and try and weasel your way into staying up later, so you yawn loudly and wish him a good night before shuffling off to bed. The house is quiet, apart from where he’s watching a Top Gear rerun and waiting for your parents to get home.

You don’t think about it much beyond telling your parents ‘yeah, he’s pretty cool’ when they ask. You don’t think about him much beyond that, at least not for almost a full week, until you’re sitting in your geography class just before lunch, having managed to snag a seat by the window looking out onto the back field, and there’s a PE class doing laps on the field. All are running, except the teacher, and a boy with blonde hair, standing with all his weight on one foot, and a pair of crutches tossed to the side, looking like he’s arguing the teacher.

“I heard when you’re in sixth form you get to push in the front of the line at the canteen,” you hear your friend, Merissa, next to you muse, and when you turn, she’s followed your gaze outside to the field. After a moment, you turn again, and watch the blonde attempt to put weight on his obviously injured foot; it looks like he regrets it, and he sits on the grass, sulking.

“That’s probably Ben,” Merissa tells you matter-of-factly, “he’s on the football team with my brother.” And something about the kind of unwarranted pride in her voice at being in the know makes your face scrunch up. Part of you wants to tell her that you know who Ben is, obviously, but another part of you doesn’t want to admit to still needing a babysitter; it feels childish. So you keep your mouth shut and turn to back to the board.

And the following week, in your weekly theater class, you’re about to take your turn at Bus Stop, wherein your goal is to make the other person on the ‘bus stop’ as uncomfortable as possible until they finally leave, which is when you’ll assume the roll of the innocent bystander, and someone else from the class will come up and try and make you uncomfortable. It’s a lesson on improvisation disguised as a game.

The voice you’ve been practicing slightly pinches your vocal cords, and you’ve barely got a moment to assume a matching physicality, and you worry for a second that it’s not funny, that you’ll just look like an idiot -

Put yourself out there one hundred percent.

You steel yourself, making strange shapes with your hands as you twist yourself into as much of a creature as possible, within reason, using the strange voice you’d concocted, feeling a thrill as your entrance gets the biggest laugh of the class. Oh.

A few months later, in the Summer after your first year of high school, you’re finally thirteen, and are allowed to have the house to yourself for the day, but if you’re parents are anticipating staying out later than midnight, you need -

“Please,” you begged, “just don’t say babysitter, I’m not a baby.”

“Fine,” they acquiesce, “you need supervision, just if we’re out very late.”

Despite your indignation at the situation, Maddy’s got a cello concert, and you’re hoping that that means -

Ben greets you like a friend, wearing a denim jacket with no crutches, and he might be the coolest person you know.

“You still on Crash Team Racing?” He asks with raised eyebrows as he heads into the living room, and you roll your eyes.

“That’s so old school,” you scoff, and he raises his hands in surrender, trying not to look as amused as he feels, watching as you pull out two Wii remotes, “Mario Kart’s much better.” And you hand him one.

He’s not above letting you win, but it turns out, he doesn’t have to; you’re scarily good at the game, which you credit to playing pretty much nothing else for a solid month, and by the time the pizza arrives, the win ratio is about fifty-fifty, and you’ve bonded considerably over your mutual and unreasonable hatred for Waluigi, the only NPC who seems to consistently beat you both.

“Do you get to push in the front of the line at the canteen?” You asked, holding your pizza in one hand and letting it cool for a moment.

“Huh?” Ben’s burnt the roof of his mouth, and is reaching for his drink when you ask, “whaddya mean?”

“My friend Merissa says Sixth Form gets to push in the front of the line.”

“I don’t think we’re technically allowed to,” he says after a moment of consideration, and you hear his nonverbal ‘but we still do’ anyways, “it’s not a rule rule, you know?”

“Are the A-levels hard?”

“Haven’t done ‘em yet,” he answers honestly, burping quietly after taking a drink, and you hum, and take a bite of pizza.

“I’m already scared of my GCSEs,” you admit after a moment of chewing, and Ben laughs gently.

“You’ve got nothing to be afraid of,” and he sounds like he means it, so you can’t help but believe it, soothed a little in your premature worrying. To be fair, Ben could say anything about school or life and you’d probably believe it; he was cool and older than you, but he treated you like a friend.

You mention in passing that you’d gotten the lead for your class’s skit in the end of year showcase your theater company puts on, and mentions that it’s because you’d been committing to the bit in class, and the pride in his voice when he congratulates you is something you end up thinking about for days.

He ends up babysitting you twice more that Summer, not that you were complaining. It meant you got pizza, and to hang out with the coolest person you knew, a fact which you reiterated to your parents, much to their fond amusement, though you made them swear to never tell Ben that. He brought over Super Smash Bros and you guys would play for hours.

The only problem was that Ben was never allowed to know about the crush you had on him, because everyone in the world knew it was weird to have a crush on your babysitter, and you’re pretty sure he has a girlfriend and -

Doesn’t matter. You’re just started to discover the delightful world of crushes and relationships, and Merissa has a boyfriend on Tumblr, and you know that when you get back to school you can have a normal crush on a normal boy in your year, even if all the boys in your year look like thumbs. And Ben...

Is your babysitter. And a decent guy. And your friend, sort of. So you just hope he hasn’t noticed.

After Summer, he’s studying his A-levels, and Maddy’s got a day job so she can babysit at nights again, and it feels like everything’s gone back to normal, like you can breathe again.

You’ve never really seen him at school; you don’t tend to hang around the back fields, but a few weeks into the first term, you’re having lunch with Merissa and Charlie, one of your other friends, in the library, when you spot him laden down with textbooks, making his way to one of the study rooms at the back. You’re not sure if he’ll even acknowledge you, even though your table is directly along the best route to the back rooms, so you just give him and smile and a nod in greeting.

“Hey, Y/N,” he grins quickly, doesn’t stop, but nods in return, and your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest. Charlie sinks her nails into your arm the moment he’s gone into the study room, and Merissa quietly screeches your name.

“Chill out,” you’re trying to keep a low profile, but both other thirteen year old girls are demanding to know what just happened, “we’re friends.” You say with a shrug that’s far too casual.

“Friends?!” Merissa demands, and you can feel yourself growing more flustered.

“We hung out a few times during summer,” you open your notebook in front of you, trying to distract yourself.

“You hung out with Ben? Y/N he’s a football guy, he’s so old, he’s like eighteen!”

“We’re friends,” you insist, “don’t be, like, creepy about it,” you snorted, and Charlie let out a pterodactyl-like noise. They drop it at your insistence, and you’re just glad they don’t ask you to elaborate.

You don’t see Ben much after that anymore, he’s too busy with his A-levels to babysit, and when you’re fourteen, your parents agree that you don’t need a babysitter anymore. You’re more than happy to let your Summer crush fall to the wayside, and let your memories of Ben, like all good Summer memories, fade into blurry obscurity.

You wouldn’t need to worry about seeing him again anyways, right?

Oh how wrong you were.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #borhap #queen #borhap cast #borhap cast imagine #bohemian rhapsody cast #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody cast imagine #the angry lizard writes

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incorrectsdkquotes · 3 years

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Youtuber AU (warning: some spoilers)

(requested by @ladyofthelake13)

AU in which all (or most) of our favorite characters make a living as famous/semi-famous Youtubers/vloggers.

Yuya is a True Crime vlogger a la Buzzfeed Unsolved. Each week she researches old crimes and cold cases, adding in her own thoughts on the case and her thoughts on who really committed them. She started out the channel first as an extra credit project when she was still in pre-law but grew so popular that she started creating videos full time. She earns most of her money through merchandizing rights and by creating her own brand. Every now and then she delves into supernatural-type videos with her adopted sister Sakuya as co-host. Her adopted brother Nozomu helps out behind the scenes with editing videos and doing some camera work. One of the more popular aspects of her channel is when she brings her friends, other popular Youtubers, in as guests. There are even shipping wars among her followers on who she has the most chemistry with.

Benitora is a travel vlogger who travels all around the country trying out different local and specialized food/snacks, showing off various features in the geography and chatting with friendly locals. His prestigious family only allows his ‘frivolities’ under the excuse that he’s going out and building goodwill with the populace he will eventually be in charge of. Tora’s father is the leader of the country, something that Tora himself tries to keep quiet about. To finance his travels, other than the Patreon page he set up, Tora made a deal with his father Ieyasu: he can keep up a steady and consistent view count Tora can keep making his videos. As soon as viewership drops below a certain amount, he has to stop and resume his training to take over leadership. So far he’s been able to keep up his end of the bargain, but the looming future ahead of him is something that he’s never quite able to forget.

Okuni is a beauty vlogger who has inside access to some of the newest products about to hit the market. She regularly reviews the new and upcoming products, shares tutorials for both beginners and those who’ve been using makeup for a while on how to apply the perfect foundation, get expert wingtips, and how to match their particular color pallet for their skin tone. Okuni will bring in her friends, both women and men, to give them makeovers as well as to have them compete in different makeup challenges. So far, the most popular video on her channel is from when she let Hotaru and Shinrei give each other makeovers.

Yukimura’s channel comes across as half family drama and shenanigans and half prank channel. Saizo is largely his go-to camera man, but other members of his family take turns as well, lending to some...interesting footage that almost always ends up in the videos released to the public. Every now and then Yukimura will drop his own political takes into conversation, only to immediately start talking about something else as a distraction. There are rumors that he’s going to be running for public office as a bid to overthrow the current political power. There are also others who discount this theory stating that Yukimura’s not serious enough for the role and actually doesn’t have any interest in politics beyond his ‘hot takes.’ It’s goofy, fun-loving Yukimura, there’s no way. Yukimura himself loves to obfuscate this even further by going on regular shopping trips where he shows off the newest gifts he’s planning to get for his family...usually specifically for whoever’s holding the camera at the time, leading to a lot of back and forth with the cameraperson on exactly why they deserve these gifts in the first place.

Sasuke’s channel is largely an unboxing channel for various toys and other gadgets, usually ones he gets from Yukimura. He’ll also review the items based on how engaging or mentally stimulating he finds them. When Sasuke isn’t reviewing items he’s usually filming himself out in the woods exploring with his childhood friend Kotaro. The two friends run a side vlog documenting skateboarding, biking, and rollerblading tricks and stunts or hiking and camping trips they go on together. A popular series of videos the two friends have that has boosted their viewership considerably involves them showing off various sword stunts and tricks. Every now and then Benitora sneaks his way onto Sasuke’s channel, sharing travel tips and stories. Despite Sasuke repeatedly mentioning how annoying he finds the older man, viewers can’t help but notice that Tora’s never actually cut out of any videos he appears in. Every now and then Sasuke will post gaming videos that he plays with Kotaro and occasionally Tora; despite several requests, he insists he’s not a gaming channel.

Bontenmaru’s channel is almost exclusively dedicated to bodybuilding and workout techniques. Usually these videos include him trying to get his friends involved in working out or acting as their personal trainer. Some of his friends are more receptive to this than others. Whenever a new workout ‘challenge’ comes out, Bon will immediately make a video about it, either criticizing the challenge or pointing out the different ways that the challenge helps develop certain muscle groups. When he’s not making workout and bodybuilding videos, Bon can be found filming drunk hangouts with his friends. There’s a small subsection of his videos dedicated to reviewing workout clothes while trying to promote his own personal brand or workout clothing and accessories.

Akira’s videos are full of DIY tips and tricks as well as testing to see if other DIY videos hold up. More often than not the DIY videos he reviews are hilariously wrong, something he goes out of his way to prove and mock. When he’s not reviewing DIYs, he’s posting Let’s Plays to his channel. Akira is also a popular Twitch streamer, usually co-opting his friends into playing either Team Death Matches or pvps together. He likes to consider himself a cool and collected gamer, which admittedly he is to a degree. Whenever he has to be on the same team as certain ‘friends’ of his, though (Benitora, Hotaru and Akari, namely) he tends to lose his cool. If his friends annoy him too much, though, he’ll just bring them on as guests to try out the end results of his DIY videos.

Hotaru’s channel is about as chaotic and disfunctional as the man himself. His videos are almost completely unedited, excepting for a few special effects for when his brother appears on screen. He tends to get stuck with the label of ‘Travel Vlogger’ flor lack of a better description for his videos, which usually document the various places he finds himself whenever he gets lost. It’s become an in-joke and even a betting pool among his followers on where he’ll end up next with his videos. If he’s not out getting lost, he’s posting videos about random things that he’ll find interesting--various stray cats, an interesting bug he found, or even a few attempted prank videos on his brother Shinrei. For those who don’t get enough humor out of his videos, Hotaru’s twitter account is open and well documented, usually with various out of context posts or sporadic updates on where he is. He is well recognized on the Internet, if by name only, as a living cryptid.

Akari is well known as an influencer, posting her own beauty tips and tricks, local restaurant reviews, and even some humorous videos of her friends doing silly, stupid, and humiliating videos as a result of some kind of blackmail that she has on them. Every now and then her videos turn educational when she offers medical advice on how to treat certain wounds and injuries, usually because one of her dumb friends has that specific injury that she demonstrates with. Akari also has certain Opinions on a certain pharmaceutical company that she absolutely in no way has any connections with. She certainly never worked there at one point, and you can’t prove that she ever did.

Kyoshiro’s mostly known for his editing skills, being the go-to editor for his girlfriend’s sister Yuya’s channel. He has a few tutorials on how to edit videos together, though there are a few videos that are light skits that he does with his girlfriend Sakuya. He did a series at one point that was part tea-review and part gushing about Sakuya. He tries to stay out of the spotlight for the most part, but he’s not opposed to appearing on Yuya’s channel as a guest host...as long as Kyo’s not also guest hosting at the same time. He has a unique relationship with Kyo, where sometimes they appear to be best friends and in other videos as mortal enemies. No one’s quite sure what the relationship is between them, though there have been a few rumors floating around that the two are siblings. These rumors have yet to be acknowledged either way, however.

Kyo’s channel isn’t actually run by him. Every video that appears on his channel is something that one of his friends made and then uploaded for him. These videos usually take the form of boasting Kyo’s skills (usually made by Akira or Akari) or as group hangouts with his friend group. There are a few that were made by Yuya that are typically along the lines of “look what this guy did now” that are pretty popular and technically give Kyo the title of ‘influencer.’ Kyo is also known on the Internet as a type of cryptid, though not to the levels of Hotaru. Instead, he’s known as the kind of person you want to emulate, who men either hate or want to be like and who several women wish to date. There’s some speculation that Kyo may already be in a relationship with someone (typically Yuya, though she refuses to say anything about the subject). There’s some talk that there may be open warrants out for his arrest, but so far nothing about his alleged crimes or the man’s whereabouts has come to light.

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gothamdad · 3 years

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THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART ONE: CINEMATIC WRONGS AND ANALYSIS COMMENTARY

DO NOT REBLOG.

This is going to be a bullet point list of incidents that occur in the movie, and will either have my general commentary or an analysis of what makes the scene terrible (or in some rare cases, good). TRIGGERS FOR SUICIDE, MENTAL HEALTH, AND DYSMORPHIA

-bruce trying to kill himself in the beginning of the movie.

Hes reckless, and willing to risk his life, but not suicidal. But he just purposefully gets into a wreck at 2 minutes into the movie?? for no reason??? theres literally no reason for it other than it being angsty bc they COULDVE started the movie with the mutants doing crime, as the next scene cuts right into it and the following news reports

-"This reporter hopes that wherever he is, hes enjoying a toast with good friends" said when its the anniversary of batman’s disappearance

this is stupid I hate this movie. You're telling me Gotham forgives Batman for just disappearing on them? DID THAT NOT HAPPEN IN NML AND EVERYONE GOT PISSED??? Like everyone in this movie seems to have forgot he abandoned the city. Not to mention, and I'm gonna go off on a tangent here, bruce will be batman for as long as he lives. He calls himself batman in his mind even when hes retired. He believes that Bruce wayne is the mask. His whole identity is batman. Saying that hed quit because of jason is not only stupid because it implies Jason's death isnt just as important as his parents, but shows that any tragedy is enough to permanently knock him down. And as if the league, or the family, would have let him give up. Anyway the whole reason the retirement in batman beyond works is because it shows bruce was going to fight until he literally died on the spot, but instead he pointed a gun, didn't even use it, just pointed it, and he realized he wasnt fit to HONOR batman anymore. He broke the rule. And he doesnt deserve to wear the mantle. This is so good because 1) bruce still wants to be batman and 2) it doesnt imply that he gave up at all, and at this point with his decreasing wellness his family WOULD be telling him to stop

-Gordon toasts with Bruce on the anniversary

FBKSBSOANSISSB OH MY GOD IT JUST SHOWED HIM SHARING A TOAST WITH GORDON. this is the anniversary of the last time batman is sighted and gordon. JIM FUCKING GORDON. Is celebrating. When they were literally partners and hed shine the batsignal each night TELL ME WHERE THE LOGIC IS!!! I CANT FIND THE LOGIC!!!!! I'm literally 3 minutes into this movie..... and already this is how its going...

-Gordon and Bruce talk

"You're not worried about me, are you?" Asked when hes in clear danger of being attacked by mutants "noT MorE tHAn i aM tHe ReST oF tHis CItY" ah yes. I forgot that Bruce hated gotham and jim Gordon. My mistake. Common misconception.

-the mutants are introduced

Ugh and it's the worst kind of villains too, jim just described the mutants as "the worst kind of criminals. They are only after violence, with no humanity at all" GIVE! VILLAINS! REASONING! I hate these joker wannabes Joker was already enough we dont need a million more "lol I'm just evil deal with it" villains

"Talk to Dick lately?"asks Gordon "You know I havent" Bruce responds

THIS CONVERSATION IS GETTING W O R S E BC I KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE GOES AND HE JUST INSTANTLY HAS CARRIE BE THE NEW ROBIN- WHICH, IS N O T BRUCE'S TO GIVE. ITS ALWAYS BEEN DICK'S MANTLE TO PASS DOWN- WHEN HE HASNT BEEN SPEAKING TO DICK????

-tangent on how it’s overlooked that Dick Grayson was the one to make Robin, not Batman

This is a sin that not just the movie, but the batman franchise in general seems to always make. Robin was made as a tribute to the flying graysons, and is meant to be colorful and aerodynamic for acrobatic tricks. it should always be dick’s to pass down, or the next robin after.

-Bruce begins having trouble with holding back his urge to be Batman

His whole wanting to be batman again thing started because of a newspaper with a family's death and pearls being sold. On the same front cover. I'm. THATS WHEN HE REMEMBERS HIS PARENTS? NOT EVERY FUCKING TIME HE HEARS A GUNSHOT? OR CLOSES HIS EYES? OR SEES BLOOD? HE READS A NEWSPAPER THATS FLOATING IN THE WIND??????NOT EVERY TIME HE LOOKS AT JASONS COSTUME? OR THE OTHER CRIMES COMMITTED??????LOGIC!!!!!!!!!! I NEED !!!! TO KNOW!!!!! WHERE IT IS!!!!!!!! ARE U KIDDING ME NOW THE MARK OF ZORRO, WHICH IS WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW OLD NOW, IS ON TV??????????? AND HE JUST HAPPENS TO FLIP TO THE CHANNEL.. Batman telling bruce "you've tried to hold me back. But you're weak. Ypu know it in your soul. You're nothing but a hollow shell." Is so STUPID!! WHY HAS HE BEEN FIGHTING BEING BATMAN!!!!!!!!!! BRUCE SHOULD WANT TO BE BATMAN!!!! AND HATE HAVING TO NOT BE!!!! AND A BAT FLYING INTO HIS WINDOW AGAIN???? STOP THE FUCKING CLICHES IM SICK OF THIS . UR NOT BEING NEXT LEVEL, MOVIE. ITS JUST DUMB. ITS DUMB!!!

-Carrie Kelly

her first ??? Appearance??? Is her going into KNOWN MUTANT GANG TERRITORY instead of going through the rain. And scolding her friend for not having backbone WHEN THEY COULD LITERALLY DIE and saying, and I quote, "its better than out there." then when interviewed about the incident her friend says "It was a flying monster! With wings and fangs!" and she replies with "Reality check, Michelle, it was definitely a man, but he had to be like 12 feet tall" OH YEAH THATS VERY REALISTIC CARRIE. Shes an asshole to her friend and we're supposed to like her. Oh and Carrie's reason for wanting to be robin? She saw the bat signal while her parents were talking about public marches. That's it. That's her reason. Not because she was attacked by mutants and almost died.

-Giving the movie credit

Okay but if theres another thing I'll give credit for, and I'm sure its unintentional, is that Harvey is the first criminal he wants to take down. Because Harvey is always going to be Bruce's priority. He didnt go after the mutants, but Two-Face. And the way that confrontation goes when it’s revealed harvey thinks both sides of his face are scarred. the Arkham staff fixed his scars before he was ready for treatment, and his mental health wasn’t priority. he was going to have dysmorphia either way, but not treating mental illness worsened it. kinda? good writing? But I think it was unintentional to have the idea that Arkham didnt know what they were doing and the belief that scars are important before trauma, and how trauma has to be helped first. I dont believe for an instant that's what's meant.

-Carrie Kelly part two

She gets a Robin costume and goes out onto the roof and is like.... almost dies. THEN THE NEXT SCENE WE SEE HER SHES LIKE COMPLETELY ACROBATIC? WHY IS SHE SO ACROBATIC NOW!!! THIS TAKES PRACTICE!!!

-Batman confronting the man who supplied the mutant gang with guns

Oh, this scene...He hands a guy a gun, knowing full well that he was depressed because his wife was dying and he had to make more money to save her by supplying the mutants with weapons, and just walks away as he kills himself. (input from a friend which i like: think about everything bruce did to help mr freeze and his wife now think about this scene )

Batman vs Mutants

oh, and the "batmobile". Aka his tank. Rubber bullets. Ok fine, whatever, but RUNNING THEM OVER AND SHOOTING MISSCLES ISNT LETHAL? AND HOW IS CARRIE KELLY GOOD AT FIGHTING ALL OF THEM WHEN SHE COULDNT HANDLE HERSELF WITH ONE LIKE A WEEK AGO. hate that the mutant leader is just a ripoff of bane with long pointed nipples I hate this. I hate that batman cant take him down, but carrie kelly can. AND THE MUTANT LEADRER TOTALLY DIED WHEN BRUCE THREW ADHESIVE ON HIS FACE AND HE WAS SUFFOCATED BUT LATER ON IT SHOWS HE LIVES ??

Bruce talks to Carrie

"What is this thing?" -carrie "Dick called it the batmobile" -bruce "SIR!!" -alfred over the radio There are no words. Then she pops his arm into place and creates a makeshift cast And he says "where'd you learn to do that?” and because she’s a mary sue she says nothing, because miller doesnt know why she should, so he cuts to "what's your name?" and she says "Carrie. Carrie Kelly. robin" and HE FUCKING GOES "MINES BRUCE." and then immediately tells Alfred hes bringing "robin" to the cave. I hate it here I hate that he forgets what happened to Jason aFTER ITS HIS LITERAL REASON FOR QUITTING. WHAT IS THE POINT IF HE’S GOING TO ACCEPT THIS GIRL HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW AS ROBIN?

-Bruce talks about Jason

OH BRUCE'S FUCKING LINE. HIS LINE. IM FURIOUS Alfred asks "have you forgotten what happened to Jason?" And he says "I'll never forget. he was a good soldier. He honored me" I AM !!!! SHAKING!!!! WITH HOW MAD !!!! I AM!!! Bruce would NOT say that shit. Implying that jason wasnt his son, or that jason was only a casualty in a war, or that HE FUCKING HONORED HIM AND NOT THE CITY, OR THE TITLE OF ROBIN "He honored me" shut the fuck up I hate this and dont even get me started on the misconceptions of Robin in the first place. i dont want to go into the debate on whether or not they’re soldiers, which I personally don’t believe. but its just stupid because Jason considered being Robin the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and he was THE BEST. it wasnt his fault he was killed, either.

-The ending

So the mutant escapes his cell by going through a VENT. A . V E N T. AND ENDS UP IN THE SEWER. I hate that these mutants are just an army of evil people and have no motivation and the leader is just a brute I fucking hate Bruce calling him "son" And the mutants become the sons of batman who fight crime......??? because their leader is gone?? werent they supposed to be evil criminals with no humanity in them?

-Joker

Okay but Joker being absent the entire first part , only to show up in the end hearing news reports about batman, and then smiling as he stands up and just fucking creepily says "darling" holy shit that gave me goosebumps. another credit i have to give.

#long post /#theres still a part two but i am TIRED #i cannot today...... mayhaps if yall like this ill do the second part #ᴜɴᴍᴀsᴋᴇᴅ : OUT OF CHARACTER

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turtle-paced · 4 years

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GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

This post is also availablle on my wordpress.

Hello and welcome to forsaken lands. The episodes of GoT that broke fans. And considering that GoT fans made it past in-universe heartbreaks like Ned Stark’s death and the Red Wedding, and major disappointments in the writers such as ‘Breaker of Chains’ and ‘Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken’, that is saying a lot.

It’s kinda fitting that the home stretch starts with a funeral, really. Good way to farewell our hopes. We’re not getting closure anywhere else in this series.

8.04 – The Last of the Starks

(2:15) When the credits said “with Iain Glen,” this is what they meant. With Iain Glen lying on a pile of sticks for two minutes.

(2:46) We do not get to hear what Dany whispers into Jorah’s dead ears, but I’m pretty certain the implication is that Dany, in her grief, is thinking on the lines of “BURN THEM ALL!”

(3:00) Because Sansa weeping over Theon’s body is…somehow less worrying? Somehow shot without the implied promises of fiery vengeance? What we’re looking at right now I think is far more ableist than sexist. The difference between Dany’s grief being portrayed as worrying and Sansa’s grief being portrayed as, you know, grief, is Dany’s family history of mental illness. Don’t get me wrong, there’ll be a heaping helping of sexism in here too, a lot of it in how Dany’s status as a female leader is linked narratively to her emotional state (“hysterical women” and all that) and written into the plot in the first damn place, but right now what attracts ominously unspoken whispering on Dany’s part and “purer” emotion on Sansa’s is connected to the parties we knowhave family members who have suffered from mental illness.

Man, imagine if they’d actually adapted the books, where Sansa’s father suffers what looks an awful lot like PTSD. Which doesn’t stop with just end-of-episode flashbacks, but affects his ongoing decision-making processes.

(3:36) Meanwhile, over in the toxic masculinity department, note who isn’t being so disgracefully emotional! The men, and the women who “aren’t like other girls.”

The show had good material to work with here. They could have shown men breaking down, portrayed as a completely reasonable reaction to the incredibly traumatic events of the previous episode. They could also have shown men struggling with the stoic performance that toxic masculinity requires, only to break down later, or question their own lack of response. You know, like several characters do in the books.

(4:31) Incidentally, it amuses me that though the words of Jon’s speech are addressing the survivors, he’s delivering the speech to the dead (and also the camera).

(6:50) Uh-oh. Dany couldn’t contain her tears as she lit a friend’s funeral pyre. Bad signs! Red flags! Red like fire.

I’m just going to dig out a relevant passage from The Curse of Chalion (spoilers for that book follow). For context, the crown princess Iselle (daughter of a woman widely regarded as mad, for further comparison’s sake) and the chancellor, Dy Jironal, are locked in a struggle over who gets power when the king dies. Iselle’s BFF recounts a relevant public event:

“Iselle is Ista’s daughter. She cannot speak of [the titular curse], lest men say she is mad, too. And use it as an excuse to seize…everything. Dy Jironal thought of it. At [the late crown prince’s] interment, he never missed a chance to pass some little comment on Iselle to any lord or provincar in earshot. If she wept, wasn’t it too extravagant; if she laughed, how odd that she should do so at her brother’s funeral; if she spoke, he whispered that she was frenetic, if she fell silent, wasn’t she grown strangely gloomy? And you could just watch men began to see what he told them they were seeing, whether it was there or not. Toward the end of his visit there, he even said such things in her hearing, to see if he could frighten and enrage her, and then accuse her of becoming an unbalanced virago.”

If Dany cries she’s unbalanced. If she hides her emotion she’s unempathetic. If she gets angry, she’s insane. The difference isn’t in the reaction (as already noted, we’ve got other characters openly grieving and other characters hiding their emotions), but in how, whether, and when the reaction is portrayed to the audience. In The Curse of Chalion there is a named antagonist doing that spin; here, the camera, the viewer’s PoV access to the story, is pulling exactly the same trick as it checks in with Dany’s emotional state to highlight the “out-of-place” emotions. Even the frequency of these check-ins affects the portrayal – as the viewer is treated to each and every fluctuation in Dany’s mood, her emotional state appears less constant than those of characters where we don’t get a reaction shot every time a traumatic thought crosses her mind/she schools her reaction/something mildly irritates her.

This phenomenon is not isolated to this scene. It’s been happening all season. It’s going to keep happening.

(7:50) I do not get the mood of this scene. Tonally, it feels more awkward/ordinary than full of grief, with none of the wild “glad to be alive” mood until a named character prompts it later on. The background characters often do not appear to exist independently of the main characters. It’s just these little things that chip away at suspension of disbelief. In this case, a general feeling like this fictional world is populated by named characters and department store mannequins only, not people.

(9:24) “So who’s lord of Storm’s End now?” Funny question. Strange that nobody’s asked that in the last few seasons. While we’re at it, who’s the Lady of Casterly Rock?

(10:42) Nor do I get Tyrion’s tone as he observes that Gendry’s going to be loyal to Dany due to this appointment. I mean…yes? That was the point? As Cersei shows us in AFFC, appointments for surface level loyalty don’t cut the mustard, but at the same time, Tyrion’s not being cynical and sardonic about Gendry’s competence.

(11:29) Davos here has a heart-to-heart about his complicated feelings towards a woman who engineered the death of a child he loved very much. To Tyrion. Who engineered the death of a child Davos also presumably loved very much. Davos’ interactions with Tyrion regularly go beyond a man who’s bottling up the death of his child for the sake of a political goal he genuinely believes will better the lives of more than just him, and into the realms of real emotional intimacy and friendship. I swear the writers forgot about this.

(13:12) Just from a writing standpoint, that line, “I don’t really want anymore,” really gets my goat. Oh, Bran just doesn’t have any motivations anymore, no biggie. Now the only thing that I the viewer want for this character is for him to start wanting things again.

(13:24) “Mostly I live in the past.” Yes truly this is an excellent trait for a temporal ruler.

(14:31) Here we have the unintentional call-back to season one, wherein information that the characters in-universe find distressing is revealed via the now-rather-clumsy mechanism of a drinking game. Book!Brienne’s status as an only child is a little sensitive for her.

(15:07) Tormund’s praise of Jon here is also pretty clumsy writing. It’s hard to praise Jon’s actions in that climactic battle because, well, he rode on a dragon and fried wights for about thirty seconds, and that’s it.

It’s also hard to see praise for Jon without corresponding praise for Dany as anything but sexism, because Dany was also riding on a dragon and frying lots of wights, and they’re her dragons. Played as in-universe sexism, this could have been a good source of material too, highlighting how Jon’s gender results in him getting more praise for equal (or lesser) work. Left unexamined it becomes part of a sexist narrative, an example of how Jon’s gender results in him getting more praise for equal (or lesser) work.

(15:21) No, don’t mention that Jon got killed and brought back! Don’t! It just raises the question of why!

(15:40) Notice how we keep getting the Dany reaction shot? Yeah. Isn’t the fact that Dany has emotional reactions weird?

The dialogue makes this worse. “What kind of person rides on a fucking dragon? A madman or a king!” Did…did they not realise the depths to this comment? The context? I mean, clearly, this is another hint that Dany’s going ~crazy~. On account of how she cannot be a king. The context of Dany’s gender. The gendered language used here. The minimisation of Dany’s accomplishments. How did the writers think this would come across, if not some fairly blatant sexism?

(16:04) This is the third Dany check-in regarding her unhappiness at a fairly miserable party. This one is extra special because the very observant and knowledgeable Varys is apparently thinking, “hang on, she’s not happy, and it’s a party! This couldn’t possibly have anything to do with listening to her boyfriend praised to the skies for things she did first and/or in parallel, immediately after losing a close friend and fighting in a very scary battle. She must be going crazy.”

Also there is spooky music and the shot choice emphasises that Dany isn’t hanging out with anyone at this party. This is far more worrying than Bran not emotionally engaging with anyone at this party thus far or Sansa not hanging out with anyone at this party thus far or Varys not hanging out with anyone at this party thus far, or Sandor drinking heavily at this party while snapping at people who come near him thus far or Arya not even attending this party. Double standard? What double standard?

(16:51) Tyrion’s marriage prior to Sansa is here brought up as a joke. There’s a joke in here all right. I call it ‘continuity’.

(17:14) Oh, my, how shocking, Brienne’s a virgin. In this world where noblewomen having premarital sex is frowned upon, Brienne not having premarital sex is unthinkable and something that the rules of drinking games say she should be embarrassed by. Wtf?

(18:36) I’m as sick of the “Pod has a magic cock” joke as the next person but frankly, they didn’t beat us over the head with detailed stories or lurid jokes about Pod’s sexual prowess, and someone should have a nice time here in season eight.

(19:56) Oh boy. Reunion between Sansa and Sandor, when these two haven’t interacted for six seasons, and what interaction they had was seriously watered down. Thematically watered down, that is. In the books, Sansa did something Sandor believed was impossible – held on to her idealism and kindness throughout horrible experiences. He was the one who learned more from their interactions. Sandor was not serving as an author avatar, but rather being depicted as a man lashing out with cynicism and nihilism as a defence mechanism.

The show didn’t appreciate that back in season two and it’s sure not going to start now. We’re about to hear some real awful stuff.

(20:10) “Heard you were broken in. Heard you were broken in rough.” 1) Why should we like this character? He’s an asshole! Not just gruff, an asshole. 2) Why is everyone an asshole to Sansa about her rape? Of all the things to be an asshole about. We got it long ago. This world is dark and gritty.

(20:15) Note that Sansa executing someone by setting dogs on them is not depicted as a worrying sign of her mental stability or lack thereof, nor as a lack of empathy, but as justice.

(20:52) “Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a little bird all my life.” Okay! Wow! What a line!

What the writers think they’re saying: Sansa has overcome adversity and become a stronger person for it.

What the context of the entire series adds to this message: Sansa needed to be raped in order to become stronger. “Becoming stronger” here meaning “someone who relishes retributive violence,” as if there is no other form of strength, and as if the capacity for retributive violence is necessarily a sign of strength. The person she was before, who comforted others in their time of need and stuck her neck out to help, was stupid, naive, and weak. There is something deeply wrong with retaining qualities such as idealism. Sansa had to shed those qualities. Rape was the way to do it.

So, in short, gross.

(21:30) This is…definitely some archery safety.

(21:42) We got that? Arya is celebrating by standing out in the cold, rejecting social activity, and continuing to practice with deadly weapons (nearly killing a friend as she does, good work!). But there’s nothing to worry about in terms of Arya’s psyche here. The difference is the family history of mental illness.

(22:54) Begin the ship-sinking! Anchors a-smash! This is one of two relationships this episode which work out well until nah. For reasons. Ultimately, I don’t think the writers had a clear vision of what Arya was and what Arya wanted, instead defining the character by what she was not. She’s not a lady. Okay. What does that mean? Does that observation bring us any closer to learning what Arya does want from her life?

Aside from Not Gendry, anyhow. Man. Hope nobody was invested in that ship, because that was quite the abrupt sinking.

(24:56) Now the show remembers that Jaime has trouble with things like laces when he’s only got one hand.

(26:07) Hope nobody’s invested in this ship either! More on Jaime/Brienne soon. Let’s just keep the pattern in mind for the moment. Long-teased relationship culminates only to fall apart almost immediately because reasons.

(27:22) While we’re on the general theme of romance. The deterioration of Jon and Dany’s relationship is dragged over a longer period than the other sunk ships this season, but the reasons for that relationship failure aren’t well explicated. In large part because Jon never has the opportunity to really go into the identity crisis that the parentage reveal resulted in (note that the info that he was seriously shaken about the idea that he was sleeping with his aunt came from the showrunners, not the text). Jon’s silence throughout episode two was a good idea, in the context of building up to an eventual resolution. Only the writers kinda forgot that such a huge reveal might need a resolution.

(28:24) Continuing the thread that what tips Dany over the edge is rejection. Yes! We are really doing this! She is a woman scorned! Goodbye seasons of discussion about whether the ends justify the means. Goodbye seasons of dealing with various setbacks, developing opinions of her own, and earning respect. We’re reducing it all down to “nobody likes Dany, she feels entitled to their love, and now she is angry.”

Incidentally, why haven’t people softened towards Dany? Who was, after all, riding on a dragon just like Jon, and saving a lot of lives? We’ll get to that in a few scenes.

(28:39) Again, the fact that Dany gets angry and emotional about the prospect of losing her claim in Westeros is part of the depiction of a general downward trend in sanity and upward tendency to assume her power as an inherent moral good.

The problem here is that a) Dany’s not wrong that Jon poses a political threat to her, whether either of them like it or not, and b) this character’s arc shows some good sound reasons for wanting power – to protect her own agency, at the very least, to say nothing of her broader politics. If Dany was forced to concede the throne, her ability to decide what she does with her own life is sharply reduced. Her ability to achieve what she wants to do in the world (things like ending slavery and oppression) is sharply reduced.

In short, this is a scene and a situation where getting angry and upset is an entirely reasonable reaction. At best, this doesn’t work to depict a character with declining mental stability. At worst (and I believe worst), the very fact that a woman has emotions is being turned into part of a narrative where her emotions render her unsuitable to do things such as provide a reliable perspective or wield any form of power.

(29:27) I’m actually sympathetic to Jon’s desire to be open about his parentage with his sisters. Again, there’s still good material here! Jon’s reasonable personal desire to not keep secrets relating to their family from his sisters vs Dany’s also reasonable political concern that the more people who know, the less controllable the information is, the more dangerous it is. That’s a real conflict! I’d like to watch more along those lines!

(30:15) The narrative of Dany’s “hysteria” is advanced by focusing disproportionately on her emotional reaction the dilemma, without an equal and counterbalancing focus on Jon’s side of the problem. Through this conversation, Jon’s offered simple rebuttals to more complex statements from Dany. I owe my siblings the truth. Sansa won’t plot against us. The truth will not destroy us. You are my queen and nothing will change that. What’s missing here is any sort of explanation as to why Jon believes these things. The lack of explanation leaves Jon’s character underdeveloped and shifts disproportionate focus to Dany’s reasoning and motivations.

(31:09) So just to put a percentage on it, in flying north to aid Jon and save the north, Dany sacrificed a full 50% of her troops. Half the northerners were killed too, but I don’t think it’s a very controversial argument that without Dany’s aid, 100% of the northerners would have been killed. Also 100% of the non-combatants.

(31:27) Meanwhile, it’s made clear that as a result of Dany’s assistance, she’s taken a serious hit to her ability to take the Iron Throne. Note the mention of the Greyjoy fleet.

(31:37) “When the people find out what we have done for them – “ “Cersei will make sure they don’t believe it.” So…working out a propaganda strategy isn’t worth it? The woman who catapulted barrels of broken chains into Meereen to prove to its slave population that she was the real deal, something she did not do in the books, is out of ideas to counter the narrative? Dany kinda forgot that she successfully conquered three cities already. Not for the first time.

This is a fault with the writing. The writers are jamming square character pegs into round plot holes. These scenes pay lip service to the problems the characters come across, and dismiss those problems either out of hand, or as completely insurmountable and not worth bothering with.

(31:56) “Thankfully, Cersei is losing allies by the day.” Footage not found. Footage to the contraryfound, as Varys plonks down quite a few more new tokens on Cersei’s side of the map table. There’s no good reason for it, but there we are.

(32:24) Give the smallfolk the opportunity, and they will cast Cersei aside? There are a few problems with this.

1. It’s exactly what Tyrion proposed last season. How’s the strategy working out? A reevaluation may be called for here.

2. As someone who lived through food riots in a city under siege, Tyrion should be well aware of the human costs of starvation in a medieval urban area. This is not the mythical “humane option.”

3. This still doesn’t address the fact that Cersei is demonstrably willing to blow up whoever’s in her way, and a slow siege gives her more opportunity and motivation to burn down her own holdings just to deny them to Dany.

4. Why the fuck haven’t the smallfolk rebelled already, given that Cersei blew up the Vatican? If they are not going to rebel over that, what are they going to rebel over?

(32:52) Speaking of lip service! Sansa’s concerns here that the armies are exhausted would (and should!) be a valid and important objection to the wisdom of Dany’s plans. But we never see any evidence later that the troops are over-tired. Or underfed. Sansa’s insights don’t mean anything. And this is poor writing for her.

(33:02) Sansa’s proposed solution is an indefinite break. She came to the meetings without the details about how long a break might be appropriate. Keep in mind who’s been the most vocal about saying ‘we don’t have enough food.’ I think on context it’s fairly reasonable for Dany to suspect this is Sansa trying to get out of assisting at King’s Landing (and we’ll see shortly afterwards that she really does want to get out of assisting at King’s Landing). Likewise, the rebuttal that regrouping gives time for Cersei to dig in is another fairly reasonable argument.

But from Sansa’s comments, apparently this is Dany not caring about the wellbeing of her own troops.

(34:59) Now we get into it! Why are the Stark sisters so dead set against Dany, despite the assistance she’s provided?

(35:34) And the answer is xenophobia! “She’s not one of us.” Arya and Sansa do not trust Dany because “she’s not one of us.” No amount of assistance or heroism can overcome this fundamental barrier. It is bigotry. Not to mention it’s also pretty much identical to the Lannister ethos of “fuck everyone who isn’t us.”

Again, how did the showrunners think this would come across, when the Starks proposed treating Dany with “screw you got mine”? How did they think it would look for the Starks to accept the benefits of Dany’s assistance only to try and back out and treat her with rudeness and hostility when she wanted their help in return? How did they think it would look to have the reason for this rudeness and hostility be “she’s not one of us”? The Starks here look like absolute assholes. Worse, this reaction can be extrapolated to the North at large.

(35:41) Complete with some poor adaptation of Arya, who doesn’t need allies and apparently doesn’t care for friends either.

(36:21) So Jon decides to reveal everything to his siblings. This devastating family secret which should have to force every Stark to reevaluate what they knew about Ned and what they thought about Ned’s treatment of their mother and brother. This is a doozy of a secret. Let’s see some reactions.

(37:15) – a cut? What the fuck? We cut away from that? Why! Why would you do this! Why would any writer in their right mind and possessed of their dramatic sensibilities cut away from the moment two of our major PoV characters discover their father’s greatest secret, in the context of renegotiating high level political relationships?

(38:09) Bronn’s presence here is insult to injury. Not only did we cut away from what by rights should have been one hell of a reveal, we cut to a scene with a character who’s just here for the fanservice. It has been a very long time since Bronn was plot-relevant or theme-relevant. His presence here, in fact, just highlights the plotholes of his involvement in previous seasons. I mean why, for the love of all that is well-written, would this character continue to play along with the jackasses who’ve promised huge payoffs and never delivered?

…aaaaaaaand now that I write it, I see it. We are all Bronn here. Right up until he gets his fucking payoff, and we the audience do not.

(40:40) Ah yes, more homophobia which is somehow not problematic when a funny character says it.

(41:26) So now that that scene is over, what did it do? The answer is “very little.” It provides an explanation of how Bronn’s Lord of Highgarden at the end of the series, when Highgarden’s resources are no longer relevant to the plot. It does not matter who’s running Highgarden. But if you cut Bronn’s subplot from this season altogether, it doesn’t actually affect shit. Hell, it opens up plotholes. Bronn’s going to vanish for the next few episodes. Cersei’s going to proceed as though she never hired anyone to off Jaime and Tyrion, and Jaime and Tyrion are going to proceed as though Cersei never hired anyone to kill them. Also as if they never decided to give away Highgarden, something I’m sure Dany would be thrillled about.

If any of the characters involved thought about the implications, that is, instead of barrelling along with the plot because Script Says So.

(42:21) So Sandor and Arya go on one last road trip for old times’ sake. Can’t have this story finish with anything but revenge.

(42:33) Now, okay, I might draw some conclusions about the quality of adaptation from the showrunners’ decision to make Arya effectively not Arya, but they can make that decision and within the show’s own canon we’ll have to live with it.

But Arya here walks out on her family, completely blank-faced, no goodbyes, no indication of any sort of grief (even a shot where Arya looks back longingly at Winterfell), on a suicide mission to take revenge on Cersei. It’s all very well to rely on Arya’s longstanding desire to kill Cersei. That’s fair. Now that desire should be competing with things like “longstanding desire to reunite with her family.” And the show skips out on depicting any internal conflict there. Instead, we approach Arya’s decision to leave through Sandor’s PoV, the reverse of the book’s choices. More about how the story weights the revenge narrative next episode.

Oh, and Sandor is also completely static as a character. Completely fucking static. Our time has been well spent watching this character not develop.

(43:37) “Why her?” Oh my god. Again? It really does seem like Sansa’s got nothing else going on in her characterisation this season but hating Dany. (This is not quite accurate. There are at least three scenes this season where Sansa is not directly or indirectly engaged in undermining or expressing her strong dislike of Daenerys.) I cannot stress enough, this is both poor depiction of Dany, and poor characterisation of Sansa!

Also, the choice to open the scene with Sansa staring at the dragons, followed by the line “why her?” frames Sansa’s subsequent choices in said scene as being motivated by her dislike of Dany. Think of that opening shot and opening line as a heading for the scene.

(44:55) We establish for sure here that Tyrion is afraid of Dany. The basis for this is Dany’s behaviour after the Loot Train Battle and Dany’s impatience to be getting on with taking King’s Landing. Note that Tyrion, while afraid of his abusive father, was not afraid of him because he pulled stunts like the Red Wedding. And while show!Tyrion hated Joffrey, unlike his book version he does not appear to have been afraid of Joffrey. So what makes Dany different?

If anyone can come up with a reason other than deeply ingrained narrative sexism…

(45:06) “The men in my family don’t do well in the capital,” Sansa says.

(45:58) It’s been [checks] eight minutes and forty-three seconds of screen time since Sansa learned the truth. A truth she swore not to reveal to anyone else. Here she makes the decision to tell someone else. Firstly, this plays real bad for Sansa herself, who broke a promise in a hot second in a scene that’s about How Much She Hates That Daenerys Woman. Secondly, this plays real bad for Jon, who trusted Sansa to do no such thing.

It’s been forty-two seconds since Sansa said she didn’t want Jon to go to King’s Landing, with the implication she believes he’ll be in danger if he does. This does not track with a motivation to protect him. It does, however, track with a motivation of wanting anyone but Dany in power.

I really don’t think the writers were trying to make the Starks look like assholes, which is why their success is so astounding.

Hey, you notice that they cut before we can see Tyrion’s reaction to this news, too?

(46:28) “I’m taking the Free Folk home. We’ve had enough of the south.” It sure is nice that this political faction doesn’t have to deal with things like the long-term material and cultural consequences of internal unification, being subject to essentially foreign authority of variable friendliness, mass migration, dispossession, things like that. Nope. Right back over the mostly-intact Wall. Nothing’s going to change for them. Just a warm southron vacay.

(46:57) Jon just fucking exiles his direwolf. Worst pet owner. Also themes, direwolves, etc.

(48:13) So Gilly’s pregnant. And Sam’s vows to take no wife and father no children have not been mentioned for an awfully long time. The showrunners masterfully resolved the central conflict of Sam’s season two, three, and four dilemmas in this relationship by ignoring it entirely.

(50:05) Here Tyrion tells Varys the big secret. In spite of the fact that he should bloody well realise that spreading the information about could destabilise Dany’s campaign for the throne and eventual rule. Good job, man. Good job. (There is also no reason to believe that Sansa knew that Tyrion would pass the information on to Varys.)

Plus additional depiction of Robert’s Rebellion as being because Robert couldn’t get over being rejected, rather than Aerys being a dangerous tyrant.

(50:41) “People are drawn to him,” Varys says of Jon, in a series where yes, we’ve seen people acclaiming Jon their leader, and precious little reason why they would do such a thing. ‘Failing upwards’ does seem to be the term. Note, however, that what Varys says equally applies to Daenerys. People drawn to her. War hero. But that doesn’t matter because Dany is a woman.

(51:08) Is marrying your aunt common in the North? Do we have time to go back to the history and lore material? And there is still no good reason this wasn’t brought up in season seven!

(51:23) Varys is very worried about Dany’s sanity. Based on…the fact she was impatient with Tyrion’s demonstrated-to-be-failing plan, the fact she didn’t enjoy the one party after one of her close friends died violently in her arms, and possibly secondhand reports of the Loot Train Battle.

This is incredibly hard to buy. I mean really. For seven seasons, Dany was a reasonable, rational individual whose cruelty was a) occasional, b) a reaction to the actions of others, and c) not out of line with what we saw from other characters, giving the impression that her behaviour as a ruler was not beyond her society’s tolerances. What made her stand out was the fact that she was freeing slaves and talking about “breaking the wheel.” That was outside her society’s tolerances. The instances of Dany’s cruelty, in the context of the series as a whole, do not appear enough to support a conclusion that mentally she’s on a downward slide.

Concern over how Dany’s handling her grief over Jorah might be more reasonable, but again, there’s no reason to think this is anything but grief and trauma. Which isn’t great, obviously, but nobody’s going “oh, she’s sad and going through a rough time,” they’re saying she’s going crazy. Just leapt right to the worst possible conclusion.

Meanwhile, on the meta level, let’s keep in mind that the narrative is using the fact that Dany wasaffected by grief and trauma as proof that she is demonstrably irrational and not fit to lead. This is textbook hysterical woman trope. Textbook.

(52:08) So for context, the dragons are approaching King’s Landing. From their height, they should have a good view of the bay.

(52:17) And yet Rhaegal gets sniped! Goodbye dragon #2! Well, given how he treated Ghost, perhaps it’s a good thing that Jon didn’t get another pet.

(52:42) Euron’s invisible fleet strikes again. Sure, we see them sailing out from behind a cliff, but the dragons had some serious height advantage, and there are a bunch of ships. Guess Dany kinda forgot about the Iron Fleet!

No, really. That’s the explanation the showrunners gave.

Even though in the moment it seems that Dany also forgot that she isn’t limited to seeing what the camera points at, and/or forgot to use her eyes. If the cliffs were high enough to hide the fleet, they should also have been too high for Euron to aim over. Not that his first two shots weren’t implausibly good either.

(53:18) And Dany does not fly around the fleet and flank them…why?

(54:02) So Euron’s invisible, memory-fogging fleet, which the showrunners have relied on way too heavily for diabolus ex machina, starts laying into Dany’s fleet. Because the showrunners seriously expected Dany to forget about the Iron Fleet. Dany has also forgotten she’s flying on a fire-breathing dragon. Don’t worry, she’ll remember when the plot says she’ll commit a bunch of war crimes.

(54:35) Again straining the limits of plausibility, Tyrion survives despite being knocked on the head by a falling mast. While in the water. In the middle of a battle. That’s one way to avoid depicting a battle that should not have happened.

(55:12) Missandei is established to be missing here.

(55:27) Cersei loses allies by the day. The smallfolk will surely turn on her. In this shot, people are pouring in through Cersei’s gates and seeking her protection. Not a riot in sight. Again, there’s no good reason why, but there we go!

(56:01) They’re not dropping Cersei’s pregnancy. This still raises questions as to how long it’s been, and she’s still not showing.

(56:30) “Keep the gates open. If she wants to take the castle, she’ll have to murder thousands of innocent people first.” That sounds to me like an argument for why Dany should be rather quick securing the capital – to prevent Cersei taking and using hostages! Note that this argument applies from season seven!

(56:44) It turns out that Missandei was captured. Yes. Euron not only managed to sneak invisibly up to Dany’s forces after they all forgot about his existence, kill a dragon with some seriously implausible sniping, escape unburned when Dany forgot to set Euron on fire, and trash her fleet utterly, he also bravely sailed in, discovered that Missandei was a hostage of significant emotional value to Dany, and captured her and her alone. What plot problems can Euron not solve.

More seriously, this is some shoddy treatment of one of the show’s only significant characters of colour. It’s going to get worse. Before we got to see Missandei’s face, we got a long shot of the chains she was put in (and a snide comment about it too).

(57:13) Varys says that storming the city is a mistake. I’m yet to hear workable alternatives. Dany’s advisors have been wrong about Cersei’s political and military strength every step of the way. Why should Dany listen to them, at this point?

However, Dany’s rejection of her advisors’ (proven-poor) advice is depicted as being born of emotion rather than reason. See above re: hysterical women. We’ve got this dichotomy between emotional women and reasonable men. This is all the more noticeable in the context of Cersei’s rule. We’ve got two queens fighting for a throne at the moment, and both are apparently willing to kill any number of people for it. Currently the narrative’s saying that our sympathies should be with the reasonable men trying to rein in these unreasonable women.

(58:34) Tyrion advocates talking to Cersei. Again. This is a bad rerun of 7.07, and 7.07 wasn’t much good to start with. What reason does Tyrion have to believe that anything Cersei says can be relied on? None. He has, instead, every reason to believe that Cersei will lie if she needs to and reject every effort for a peaceful solution. He has every reason to believe this because she already has. And also hired someone to kill him. Which he found out just a few scenes ago.

I realise that Dany’s the one on the Hitler end of the Nazi analogies in episode six, but watch out for Neville Chamberlain here. Peace in our fucking time.

(59:15) “I’ve served tyrants all my life. They all talked about destiny.” Really? Did they? I can’t recall either Tywin or Joffrey or Robert talking much about destiny. Weird throwback to book!Varys, there.

(59:44) We see here that Varys measures fitness to rule in how often the ruler agrees with him. As soon as Dany turns down his advice, even though it was of dubious merit, he starts looking for a replacement. This is, again, the sort of thing that makes Dany’s supposed paranoia not look very irrational.

(1:00:04) “Have you considered the best ruler might be someone who doesn’t want to rule?” Why, yes! That question was considered extensively in the novels, in the person of Robert Baratheon! Back in the day, Robert was a fantasy hero. He had almost everything going for him. Almost every personal quality you could want in a king. But he didn’t want the throne. And nobody could make him do the job once he was on the throne. His disinterest and inertia had profound consequences on both his personal health and the running of the country.

Robert Baratheon is GRRM’s argument against that line.

(1:00:21) While there is plenty of sexism in the narrative, I don’t think Varys is incorrect to observe that in the patriarchal setting depicted, Jon’s gender will make him a more appealing monarch candidate.

(1:00:46) Varys: Jon would make a good king of Westeros.

Also Varys: We can’t marry Jon to Dany, her personality would overwhelm his!

Tyrion’s solution addresses the problem of Jon’s claim. Varys rejects that solution because it doesn’t address the problem of Dany. He does not want Dany to be the driving force ruling the kingdom. Also, apparently marriages where the woman is a Type A personality and the man’s a Type B personality are bad. Presumably the reverse is not true.

(1:03:44) Maybe three or four scenes this season where show!Sansa isn’t focused on hating Dany? Of course, my comments about Sansa being “toughened up” by having her come to enjoy violence against her enemies still apply.

(1:05:14) Now this reads like a fuck you to everyone who was at all invested in Jaime/Brienne as a ship. Brienne lays out the basic position – Jaime is a good man, he can’t save Cersei, and he doesn’t need to die with her. Sums up a good chunk of audience hopes, too. A lot of what drives the dramatic tension of Jaime’s scenes is the audience desire to see him actually follow through on his better impulses, including giving up on his toxic relationship with his sister. Not only is the audience not unreasonable for wanting this, the audience’s desire for this has been actively encouraged by the narrative for several seasons.

(1:05:39) In response, Jaime says, “nah, not a good man, just as bad as my sister, I’ll be leaving now, see ya!” As if scenes justifying Jaime’s actions-for-love never existed (just because I don’t think “I did it for love” is a good excuse doesn’t mean the show has thus far not treated it as a good excuse), Jaime lists a bunch of crimes, concludes he’s awful, and heads out. In hindsight, this is clearly Jaime rejecting any sort of different path. At the time there were theories going round that Jaime was heading off to the battle for some sort of personal resolution…but no.

So, you know, fuck the viewers for thinking someone could grow and change, I guess. A special fuck you to anyone who shipped Jaime/Brienne. They can go cry with the Arya/Gendry shippers. This is not just bad writing, it’s asshole writing. It gave the audience something to want, gave the audience what it wanted, yanked it away, and called the audience idiots for ever wanting it in the first place.

And it’s not even the worst example of asshole writing in the series. As we know.

(1:07:26) So here’s our setup. Dany, her advisors, a small group of Unsullied, and Drogon, are all hanging out on the clear stretch of ground in front of King’s Landing. Cersei’s up there and there are a whole bunch of ballistae pointed in their general direction, as well as a whole bunch of archers on the walls.

(1:09:13) Tyrion and Qyburn state the positions of their respective monarchs. (In the context of the series, especially with both Dany and Cersei being “mad” queens, it gives me the irrits that Dany and Cersei aren’t doing the talking – no, that’s for the men. See above regarding reasonable men reining in unreasonable women.) Note that these positions each demand the unconditional surrender of the other. I don’t think this is going to be resolved. I think this is well past the point where talking does much good.

This is one of the problems I have with the “reasonable” positions proposed by the men around Dany – they fail to recognise that they aren’t working against a reasonable opponent. These men aren’t reasonable in the sense that they considered the available evidence, alternative courses of action, and weighed up their options. The alternative proposed, and initially taken up by Dany, did not work. We saw it not work for most of season seven, and it continues to not work now. The “reasonable” option here doesn’t have anything to do with the situation established by the show. It’s “reasonable” in that it’s less outright violent in the short term, without accounting for long-term consequences or, you know, major strategic objectives. It treats negotiation and non-violence as inherently the most reasonable course of action, and therefore the best.

Again, this makes for a poor contrast with the books, where Dany’s storyline has talked about just these things. There are situations where people cannot solve their problems by talking. There are peaces that should not and cannot be made. Sometimes violence is necessary. The questions are when? and why?

(1:11:49) Note that when someone does actually bother speaking to one of the monarchs here directly, Tyrion doesn’t go for reason. He does not outline military consequences as he did for Qyburn. He goes for the emotional appeal.

It’s also worth noting: fucking again? This worked so well last time.

(1:12:07) Wait, so Jaime’s hateful for murdering his cousin and attempting to murder a child, but Cersei blows up the fucking Westerosi Vatican and she’s “not a monster”? Either the show’s being inconsistent here, or Tyrion is one of a) the greatest actors Westeros has ever seen or b) fooling himself. She hired someone to kill him out of personal spite! Tyrion found this out like half an hour of screen time ago!

I’m deeply suspicious of the show’s attempts to make Cersei somewhat sympathetic at this late stage. It looks a lot to me as if this is intended to make the demonisation of Dany easier. Cersei does not do much this season. She didn’t do much last season. Continuing on from what I just said about reasonable uses of violence, we’re not actually seeing much violence these past two seasons from Cersei which would make Dany’s own use of violence reasonable and appropriate. (No, they still can’t resolve their issues by talking, Cersei’s broken deals with them before.) Cersei’s tyranny is kept out of sight and out of mind for the audience, including most if not all references to that time she blew up the Sept of Baelor, so Dany appears inherently less justified in her actions.

The only thing Cersei does this season, which she’s about to do, is in direct service of “setting Dany off” mentally.

(1:12:57) Also, Cersei’s pregnancy being used to humanise her? Yikes. In context of ongoing comparison over “who’s the worst monster?” to Dany, who is infertile? Mega yikes. These characters should not be judged by what’s going on in their uteruses.

(1:13:45) Finally! A queen speaks! After six minutes of “negotiations”.

(1:14:14) “Dracarys”? Well, that’s ambiguous. Scans an awful lot like Missandei’s saying “yeah, burn the city!”

(1:14:44) So this is awful. The show has two recurring characters of colour. It just killed one. A freed slave, killed in chains, with nasty comments made about this fact, to motivate a white character whose arc has already had fair accusations of white savourism levelled against it. Not good. Not good at all.

(1:15:20) Incidentally, I can’t help but notice that Cersei stopped at killing Missandei. She’s kinda forgotten about her archers and ballistae and that she doesn’t care for norms such as truce.

(1:15:40) Dany walks away with an actual expression on her face. Her inability to school her features after witnessing the murder of a friend is how we know, for sure, that she’s losing it. If she’s calm, she’s emotionally dead. If she’s sad, she’s hysterical. If she’s angry, she’s about to kill hundreds of thousands of people…

#anti got #fine toothed comb edition #cw: violence #cw: rape mention #season eight #in which i call a lot of people assholes

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mikmaqs · 3 years

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so i took the plunge and watched promare (2019)

this morning i set out on something i have intended to for some time now, ever since seeing the very mixed opinions on the film. here's my take as an indigenous person, viewing indigenous/minority representation in this movie.

i will add that i am not jewish, which seems to be what most parallels get drawn to. this is just my view as an indigenous person w a long history of myself and my people dealing with oppression, so if jewish people have anything to add, absolutely feel free to do so, because i could have very well missed some things. that being said, let me compile my thoughts.

so, to begin with, i'll state my positive feelings on the movie to get out of the way the things that i did find enjoyable. then, i'll touch what i thought was...eh. less good, or downright bad.

first of all, the animation and color scheme of this movie really was beautiful, and a pleasure to look at (i.e. lio's volcano rage sequence, the promare itself, etc). interesting stylistic choices and enjoyable animation are, i hear, relatively intrinsic to the studio trigger brand. i can't verify, because i haven't ever viewed a studio trigger film before this to my knowledge, but that's what i get through the grapevine. the use of vibrant colors is very pleasing to look at, though it could probably be used as a murder weapon for anyone with color sensitivity or epilepsy, which is...less good, but the appeal was there. just know that it's very bright and a little flashy before viewing.

secondly, i enjoyed the character design more or less...except for, uh, a few things i'll mention later. generally, it was nice, and not an eyesore.

thirdly, the soundtrack was pretty good. i did find a few songs got reused a lot, but that's not exactly a this specific movie problem anyway, and generally not even much of an issue. it didn't unground me or anything, just was noticable enough to make me note it during viewing.

basically, as a whole, the aesthetic value of this movie is very good! credit is given where credit is due, so, yeah, i can say i did enjoy that part.

now, there's...a fair plethora of issues with this movie.

what i gather from this is i can, like...kind of see what they were prooobably trying to do here. like, i doubt they FULLY intended to make such a horrible approach at issues of social justice and racial equality, but, uh. yeah. it wasn't good. and i hear they've done similarly distasteful things, so who knows what the inner workings were with this. at best, it reads as insensitive and uneducated, which is not really what you want in a movie. the aesthetic value is not much if the storyline is sort of trash.

first thing i notice is that the minority group (the burnish, for those who have not viewed) is given a destructive ability and, apparently, an innate urge to........burn things down.......because........the promare......speak to them. like maybe that was just poor thinking, but the first thing you should not do is make the minority group inherently violent and destructive with the whole "the flames talk to us and tell us to burn shit so that's what we do" thing. personally, it reads to me as "oh these poor people inherently violent and horrible" and it's. um. unsettling. of course, the burnish hold pride in never killing for no reason, which makes this a bit more salvageable, but not good.

especially when part of the next scenes of the movie include lio (the leader of the burnish) losing his shit and having to be stopped by the white savior trope. like. well. this is unfortunate now isn't it. of course, i can't be positive galo is white, but i'm referring more to the "majority saves minority from...being a minority" thing that plays out here. like. imagine john smith stopping pocahontas from going into a rage and spearing people or whatever white people think we do. yeah that's basically what happens here and it's................yeah!

the only truly enjoyable characters were the burnish honestly. like. my dear fellow indigenous/minority i'm so sorry you have been subjected to this badly written movie. lio fotia i'm so sorry. you were the only character i liked.

and theeeen the parallels to the holocaust come in, and this is where it gets, uh, uncomfortable. more than before.

so this guy named kray foresight (what a name, huh) has an insane little superiority complex and thinks he's jesus or something. come to find out, he's a burnish — way to villainize the minority but without the "but they're people too" redeeming part, studio trigger — who is...doing experiments, human experiments, on the burnish to power his spaceship.

it's as weird as it sounds.

but the point right now isn't mr foresight's silly little spaceship adventure, it's the parallels to the human experiments conducted at concentration camps (promare has those too, by the way, but they're more of jail cells here) by doctors working under the nazi regime. most know by now about the horrific experiments conducted on people during the holocaust, majorly jewish people among other smaller percentages of other groups (poles, yugoslavs, actually mostly any minority the nazis could find and didn't like). the parallels to jewish oppression are staggering and impossible to ignore or not notice, for me anyway, and this is from someone who isn't even jewish. i'm sure watchers who are notice it even more starkly.

did i mention the whole symbol surrounding the burnish is a pink triangle?

gee. i wonder where we've seen triangles to identify a minority group before.

oh yeah. the identification tags used to separate jewish people from non-jewish people the nazis created.

funny how that works out.

there's also the way the star of david appears throughout the movie. or the several other parallels that exist within the film.

and the "genocide cultivation beam", whatever the fuck that means.

and the way the movie ends with the burnish just...not being burnish. identity: gone, white: savior, hotel: trivago.

yeah. the whole conflict of "the burnish keep setting shit on fire" gets solved by "well, we'll get rid of what makes them burnish as if we couldn't just settle it in another way anyone with a brain could think of". but, you know, plot is apparently more important than respect..

and all that aside? there's still more issues.

like the incredibly racist caricatures of Black people, y'know? the whole "big bulky deep voiced animalistic" racist rhetoric? yeah. yeah, they got that too. it takes about half a brain cell to notice it, and it's so hard to stomach, as a bipoc. i'm a poc, and even when it's not my race, it's so difficult to watch these poor, distasteful portrayals of real life oppression and real life people.

tl;dr, promare is a very well animated movie with a nice soundtrack, but that does nothing to wipe away the VERY large issues within it. if you are going to be interested in the characters and media, i IMPLORE you to remain VERY critical of every flaw and never excuse it. be sensible about your interests. i enjoyed lio as a character, but do i condone the issues in this film? fuck no, and i feel bad the poor guy had to be part of it. fork over the rights to lio fotia to me i'll treat him better than studio trigger ever did.

as always, be critical of your interests and listen to people affected when they bring something to your awareness. you can like characters without excusing the grossly evident issues of a piece of media. none of it is okay or excusable, regardless of what the intent may have been.

like i said, if anyone has anything to add, please do feel free to do so, and let me know — i'm always ready to listen and look at different viewpoints, especially of those affected by this media. ❤️

#fin.txt #long post #fandom critical #tw antisemitism #tw antiblackness #tw nazi #tw racism

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popwasabi · 4 years

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“Westworld III” takes several steps forward...and several steps back (REVIEW)

Created by Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy

Starring: Evan Rachel Wood, Jeffrey Wright, Aaron Paul, Ed Harris, Vincent Cassel, Tessa Thompson, Thandie Newton

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Season three of HBO’s “Westworld” cleans up many of the issues season two had but ultimately falls short of season one’s loftier thematic ideas.

It’s cinematically sharper, it’s about as well paced and fun as the show has ever been and that on it’s own makes it worth watching and certainly worth continuing the series going forward but for fans hoping it might have something new to say in the vein of its hyper meta-textual and thematic commentary of the first season it may leave you disappointed.

Season three may have raised the stakes of the series with its pending (and frankly, all too timely) apocalyptic vibes going on in the story but it lowers the bar on its cerebral nature opting more for fast paced thrills over anything more profound or hadn’t said already.

That said, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it anyways for better…and worse.

“Westworld” season three picks up not too long after the events of season two as Dolores has infiltrated human society and begun working on her master plan to bring it all down. She has spared Bernard, who now spends his life as butcher outside the major cities but he often wonders where she is and when this apocalypse will begin. Meanwhile a veteran named Caleb spends his life doing the same mundane tasks and mercenary work everyday to make ends meet pondering his existence as he deals with his PTSD. He decides to break the cycle however when one day he finds Dolores shot in an alleyway and joins her on her quest to start a revolution.

“Westworld” is one of the few series that hooked me immediately with its first episode.

Where some series take their time to gain momentum before going into overdrive in their season finale, season one’s “The Original” grabbed my attention from the start with a combination of mystery, action, stellar acting, and the kind of cerebral humanist story-telling I expect and want from the cyberpunk genre.

As someone with a father who talked extensively about myth, theme, and got me to listen to old Joseph Campbell essays on CD growing up, a series that explored story-telling on a meta level with a high octane LARP concept setting was everything someone like me could ask for in a science fiction series.

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(Seriously, there was some compelling analytical story-telling dialogue in this series.)

So invested I was in this tale of synthetics gaining agency and humans exploring their own personal myth-making and what it said about themselves made me a huge fan early on, proudly proclaiming it to be the best show on HBO several years ago.

I was so certain this series was creatively the best thing on television at the time that I strongly considered getting a maze tattoo like that in the show to proclaim my brand-new fandom.

But knowing there was still more seasons on the horizon, I held off thinking I should probably see this through before doing anything that brash.

Well, a few years later I feel pretty good about that decision…

(Imagine how fans who named their newborns Daenerys or Khalessi feel right now...)

I remember thinking at the end of season one “Where can they possibly go from here still? Other LARP destinations in this cyberpunk world? A robot vs human war? How can the world expand?”

The problem is these thoughts did not really ask the most important question following that first season; “What more does it actually have to say?”

The first season is, in my opinion, a perfect season of television. It’s a brilliant take on the stories we tell ourselves, the choices we make that define us in our personal myths, and the exploration of our nature and how that relates to choice all while playing out this synthetic mystery plot. The entire first season pulls all these arcs and ideas together through characters like Bernard/Arnold, William/The Man in Black, and of course Dolores. They all, more or less, complete their arcs in that first season and there’s not really much needed to be said beyond that when you really think about it. If the series ended on Dolores murdering Ford and the Delos guests in the season finale that honestly would have been a perfect ambiguous ending to send the story off on.

(Kind of itss own meta commentary on the journey of a fan and an ever-increasingly cynical series...)

But because this is HBO, and “Game of Thrones” is no longer the driving force of premium TV, Westworld MUST continue because it’s the new cash cow for the channel. Whether or not writer/producers Lisa Joy and Jonathan Nolan really knew what they wanted to do following that first season is anybody’s guess but it’s hard not to see that they have struggled a bit since that point.

Season two is a mixed bag, where the characters literally feel like they’re going in circles. Plotlines get muddled, characters become hyper versions of themselves, and while certain ideas and episodes reached similar levels of brilliance that the first season had it still lacked the narrative sharpness of the first season and that has a lot to do with the characters having mostly no other driving force besides survival and simply getting to the next physical plot point.

It just didn’t have much more to say and frankly in a story about stories that’s pretty damn important.

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(This episode from season 2 is still one of its best.)

To their credit, Joy and Nolan appear to rectify quite a few issues season two had with season three. Again, it’s faster, better paced, there’s a clearer destination at the end for its characters and not to mention a pretty compelling villain for this season’s plot in Serac played by the brilliant Vincent Cassell.

But it suffers ultimately the same problem; it has nothing truly new to say.

This is not to say the season is without any meaningful messages or metaphors. It’s quite critical of our hyper surveillance and information gathering state, might even be the best depiction to date on the broader implications and consequences of a world where we all have our personal information readily online to mined and plundered by big businesses and government. Caleb, played by the always great Aaron Paul, is a good avatar for the everyman who has grown jaded and disenfranchised by this system. Though he spends most of the season looking overly shocked and gape-jawed at just about everything, it’s hard not to feel empathy and a connection to this character as we are quite literally living in a bit of a cyberpunk hell as it is these days and treated just as much as expendable commodities right now.

(You fucking jackasses are arguing for the wrong things! You’re all being swindled and cheated for nothing! *photo “unrelated”*)

The season is generally best when the focus is on him, as the first episode delivers a strong start in the same way season one did.

Where the season begins to fall apart though is when quite literally the world “Westworld” inhabits begins to do so itself. Serac’s Rehobaum, which reminded me just a little too much of “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’s” Deep Thought, releasing all its data to the world and everyone discovering they’re basically all dangerous assholes is almost hilarious to me.

Though the idea of hyper data controlling our every move is a good cyberpunk metaphor to jump off of, the way this bit is executed is a little over exaggerated and clumsy.

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(Though it does deliver a pretty powerful scene regardless.)

This isn’t actually a tremendous problem with season three, but it doesn’t do much to add to what we already understand about the story; which is how narrative controls us and how important choices and free will is to that. All this is already told and expanded on in the first season through Dolores, all season three does it bring it to a macro level and put that onus on the humans instead of the hosts. The hosts were already a metaphor for humanity anyways so again the story in some ways hasn’t changed much since season one.

It's interesting to have the narrative of the hosts turned on the humans but thematically it feels redundant.

I’ll add that this isn’t the worst idea they could’ve gone with, it works in moving the physical aspect of the story forward for sure, and I wouldn’t even classify it as a bad one, but again the problem is the story has largely run out of new things to tell us.

We like stories because we want to learn some truth about ourselves, whether we want it to or not, and Anthony Hopkins’ Ford makes a great point of this in season one. This has been the purpose of myths and legends since the dawn of time and it’ll be no different even when the 37th Fast & Furious comes out in 40 years. You could argue that the message of Westworld deserves repeating or that it’s not important to the entertainment value it still provides, and you might be right. But for a series like this, that is so invested in what stories mean I don’t think it’s wrong to think there should be more to it than this.

(Maybe, I should’ve...)

Of course, there’s still plenty more to see out of “Westworld” for the foreseeable future as HBO won’t be canceling it anytime soon and certainly it’ll have its chance to still tackle more ideas and themes in the future but, at this point at least, it’s been less meaningful that its first season.

There are other problems too, namely Dolores constantly changing and unclear revolution plans and arcs resolved offscreen, certain side plots with other characters ultimately going nowhere, and a fairly predictable twist with Caleb, but this is the crux of the problem with the series as it stands now and the one worth mentioning the most.

(And Maeve, *sigh* oh Maeve...)

That said, season three really is a lot of fun despite my issues with the narrative. The pacing, as mentioned, is great from start to finish. I was never bored or disinterested during this season, despite its flaws, and the action bits are frankly better than they’ve ever been as the series goes full cyberpunk in parts with great robot on human and robot on robot action.

The cinematography is sharp and striking too as Jonathan Nolan shows he’s definitely Christopher’s brother with some beautiful, haunting shots of the future Los Angeles city Gotham-esque skyline set to Ramin Djawadi’s excellent cyberpunk score that gives the new season a more noire-ish feel that would make Vangelis and Hans Zimmer proud.

(In the future Los Angeles will be Singapore!)

The acting is still stellar of course. Though Jeffrey Wright’s Bernard is largely wasted in this season and his plot goes nowhere, his scene with Gina Torres in the finale is touching. Luke Hemsworth is dry as hell in a good way as Chief of Security turned personal buddy bodyguard to Bernard as Ashley Stubbs. Ed Harris is wicked and dastardly as always as William and of course Evan Rachel Wood is solid as the driving force of the series as Dolores.

(Out of context season 3 spoiler.)

The finale doesn’t leave much to say beyond a pending machine vs human war though which has been building up since the first season anyways. While I can see some possibilities for an interesting direction here, I can’t say I’m as intrigued as even the finale to season two left me.

In some ways, season one left me not too much unlike William going into season’s two and three; looking for additional meaning in something that wasn’t looking to tell me anything deeper, at least right now. Perhaps the maze just isn’t for me anymore but moving forward I’ll be lowering my expectations.

(Oh my God! Meta commentary on meta commentary! It’s meta-ception! I’m beginning to question the nature of my reality!!!)

“Westworld” remains a fun cyberpunk action series that can hold your attention span for an hour, and I think it’ll maintain that energy consistently going forward, but it might’ve been best left where it was when Dolores put a bullet in Ford’s brain.

I do hope it can regain some of its original spark at some point but until then…it doesn’t look like anything (deep) to me.

VERDICT:

3.5 out of 5

You said it, Marshawn...

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avaantares · 4 years

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My thoughts on Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears

Spoiler warning.

No, seriously, loads of spoilers below the cut. You’ve been warned.

Okay, let's get the bad out of the way first: The plot was pretty darn lame. I pegged the culprit from his very first scene (he acted incredibly suspicious every time he was on camera, and... actually, were there ANY other suspects?) and the whole curse thing was handled very poorly. It wasn't treated with enough gravity to present any kind of believable threat -- I've literally played video games with more plausible crypt curses -- nor was it lampshaded enough to be an effective satire of 1920s oriental mysticism. A little more camp, and it could have been a fun Indiana Jones-type romp; a little more historical depth (or, uh, actually reading a Wikipedia article about Alexander the Great??) and it could have been realistic and suspenseful. As it was, it hit neither goal and instead floundered somewhere in the shallows of mediocrity.

But let's be honest, most of us weren't watching this film for the mystery. The previous series ended with Phryne and Jack breaking three years' worth of sexual tension with an enthusiastic kiss, followed by Phryne flying off and inviting Jack to chase her. (I’m assuming she's come and gone from Australia since, given Dot's rather forced voiceover about how Phryne broke Jack's heart when she left. He looked anything but heartbroken at the end of S3.) So naturally, everyone expects this film to continue the story of their relationship, since they are the dictionary definition of slow burn and S3 teased the fans with a tiny burst of flame right before the credits.

Despite the contrived "Jack thinks Phryne is dead AGAIN" setup -- which was tremendously effective in "Blood at the Wheel," but a little less convincing its second time around -- a lot of the character moments are golden. From Jack's tears in the car ("AWWWW" chorus the fangirls) to the rain-soked, tension-laden staring at each other ("YASSSS" chorus the fangirls) to the declarations in the tent ("FINALLY" chorus the fangirls), the film more than delivers on the Phrack front. (Phront? Nah.) Per usual, the best moments are Jack's reactions to Phryne's shenanigans (my absolute favorite is the casual lean on post, *bang*, "Got it" in the tarantula scene). As the franchise's final installment, the film definitely gives the fans what they want.

Mostly.

I mean, as someone who works in the entertainment industry, I completely understand both the logistical and script limitations that meant Dot and Hugh only had cameos, but... really? Dot can't attend Phryne's funeral because she's pregnant, and we're never going to mention them again after the twenty seconds they had on screen? Is that the best you could do, writers?! Ugh, it's like series 3 all over again when Hugh had to get mad and go fishing for weeks so the actor could appear in a Dwayne Johnson disaster movie. (Not that I begrudge HJB the considerable increase in salary a Hollywood action movie doubtless netted him; I just didn't like the awkward way MFMM handled his absence.) Personally, I might have shifted the England portion of the story to another part of Australia, still leaving Jack outside his jurisdiction but making it possible for Dot, Hugh, Mac and the rest to have a limited presence. Taking the series entirely out of Australia for its big-screen debut feels a little disingenuous, somehow. (This is said as an American for whom Australia still carries some exotic appeal. Perhaps setting the film on an international stage was more appealing for its home audience.)

So overall, it's difficult to rate this film. The performances were delightful, and I definitely enjoyed watching it, but I do think it could have been better in some regards. The character moments were good in spite of a flat story, which I suppose puts it in the same range as some of the more middling episodes of the TV series. I will likely buy the Blu-ray to complete my set, because I’m sure it will merit a re-watch at some point.

#mfmm #miss fisher's murder mysteries #miss fisher and the crypt of tears #miss fisher spoilers #mfmm spoilers

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jojparasol · 5 years

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silver springs

I hope you all enjoy my first imagine! I originally wrote this at around 1am so mind any mistakes or anything. This was clearly inspired by Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Silver Springs.’ It’s one of my favourite songs and you’ll see a few lyrics spread throughout. Enjoy x

The one where Y/N is tired of being the girl on the side and harry has a promise.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: Sexual mentions, angst??

Part two here and part three here

"I brought her a ring — a promise ring," he whispered, staring up into the ceiling as he felt his chest heaving in a calm pattern. Y/N closed her eyes the second he said that pronoun, knowing that it was not her he was referring to, of course, it wasn’t. Oh God, she felt this feeling too often. The feeling that strangled its long arms around her, but it was the softest drop of poison that made her heart melt.

And it hurt. It hurt knowing that her love for him ran for miles. But he stopped at the starting line, watching her run with her weak legs trying to liven up her love for him as he watched her disappear with a heavy heart. It was clear he never loved her. He loves the woman he’s going to give a promise ring to, he’s gonna get down on one knee as he proposes her a promise. A promise to give her the world, give her his future and give her his everything. And Y/N stood there like a fool — she knows she’s a fool and possibly the biggest one out. She’s going to stay until he properly tells her she needs to go and leave him for good. It might’ve been time for Y/N to take her heart back from Harry because he wasn’t looking after it well, considering the fact that he never did.

Y/N scrunches the white sheets up to her chest, her faint red knuckles fisted between the soft fabric as it covered her naked body, warming the goosebumps that scattered throughout her bare skin. Her pouted lips puffed out into a small sigh, slightly shaking her head at the thought of Harry’s future without her.

“I don’t wanna know, H,” she managed to croak out, feeling her throat tighten at the realisation of her hurt. She felt her head spinning in continuous circles that ran around her heart. She could practically see shades of grey flashing in front of her sunken eyes as if there wasn’t any sort of colour to her world at that moment.

“She’s pretty. She loves me,” he continued with no sort of care for the vulnerable woman lying beside him. He didn't need to fucking brag. There was no need for the reminder that Harry’s loved or that Y/N knows very well that she’s pretty. Hell, there’s always that constant reminder. Whenever Y/N came over, she’d see photo frames of the couple together or simply going on her phone where’d she see recent photos of Harry out for lunch or on a jog on her feed. Not to mention, whenever Harry’s phone lit up from his nightstand, she knew it was her daily ‘good night’ message that covered the lock screen of surprise — her.

“Then why the fuck are you here? Why did you just sleep with me if she loves you and you love her?” Y/N sat up, her voice still broken and strained. Her hair tangled and her glassy eyes dared to look at the man who she couldn’t help but still love.

She told him she loved him years ago. She remembers aimlessly mumbling to herself that he would never love her, shutting down her previous thoughts of confidence where she felt like she could confess her undying love for that man. They’re best friends and as duty calls, she stood by him throughout every harsh break up he’s been through. She would sit on the couch, with his head in her lap as she comforted him saying the usual phrases of ‘you deserve better’ or ‘you’ll find the one.’ And Y/N believed she was the one.

So, when the rush of alcohol split through her body on a lonely, drunken night, she found herself pouring her hopeless love to him over the phone. She doesn’t remember him saying much apart from a simple, ‘I’m coming over.’ He ended the call and appeared in her apartment in what felt like another quick shot of alcohol. Harry sat her down, gazing into her bloodshot eyes and gave her a sympathetic smile. He didn’t even have to open his mouth for her to bawl her eyes out, probably emitting the ugliest sounds she thinks he’s ever heard. But she continued anyway, pathetically crying into his arms as he gently thumbed away her tears. Harry never questioned if she meant it because he always knew that ‘drunk words turn sober.’ A year later, he met her. He met the person he claims as 'the one.'

Delilah. That was her name — just like that Tom Jones song or the Plain White T's song. Either way, her name just delighted everyone — see, even her name was similar to the word delight. And God, the way it rolled off his tongue so naturally like it was the most simple thing to do. Y/N saw Harry's eyes sparkle and all he could ever do was compliment her on every single detail of the human being. She was his epitome of life and beauty.

"Christ, Y/N. Ye should've seen 'er. She's everything I could have wanted and more."

It was like a stab to her chest but Y/N congratulated him anyway because he was just too God damn happy and it was what he deserved. But she couldn’t comprehend how hurt she felt — words couldn’t describe.

All her hatred ripped into oblivion when Y/N finally met Delilah and she suddenly understood Harry. Y/N could not point a single flaw on the woman. She had piercing hazel eyes and wavy chestnut hair that reached just above her breasts. She had a voice like an autumn wind and the look of a Greek Goddess. Her words and actions dripped with love and perfectly fitted Harry's trademark of 'treat people with kindness.' Y/N remembered not feeling any anger towards Delilah because it wasn't her fault. It was never her fault. It was Harry's.

Harry stayed silent. The room was left with heavy breaths from Y/N's crying as she reminisced on their past.

"I don't regret it, though. I don't regret the first night we spent with each other."

He was talking about that night. The night that he and Delilah had gotten into a huge fight and he came running to Y/N with desperate pleas. She felt sorry for him, of course, and they were back to the same usual setting — where his head rested on her lap and he cried about how much he doesn't want to lose her because she's the one. That was when Y/N realised she never felt this way with any man because she never tried to. She never was interested in any other guy apart from the Harry. He'd always complain why Y/N never dated anyone and for a bit, she also didn't know why. But in the end, she finally found out why.

Y/N had set up his favourite rom coms and she cradled Harry in her arms as he cried when Allie and Noah broke up, parting their ways as they left their summer love. She also cried, a stray tear falling down her reddened cheek but Harry never noticed. They survived the movie, blinking at the credits scene. Harry had thanked her for being there as she nodded, avoiding eye contact. But he leaned in close to caress her cheek and soon enough, his lips pressed against hers. She didn't stop him — she didn't want to, she kissed back just as hard as he did, forbidden adrenaline rushing through her veins. She admitted to herself that she was selfish, she's always been with Harry. He was her only dream and all she ever wanted to do was love him. And that night, he let her.

Y/N never understood why he stayed after the first night. But, she didn't want to question it in fear of losing him. She was just there whenever he needed a temporary relief and she happily obliged. It was wrong, but the feeling was right. She was his silver springs.

"Why did you stay?" Y/N finally asked the question she's been asking herself ever since she started loving him. She turned to the side to face him. He was sat up, his bare chest slowly heaving up and down as he stared at the piece of jewellery in his hands. He was fumbling with the tiny, glittery ring in the palm of his hands that was probably worth more than what Y/N could ever achieve in her life. He had his thumb caressing over the shiny diamond, feeling the cold metal of the band. It's as if the ring was mocking her. Mocking her that it was going to be given to someone else — someone but her. Delilah.

He looked up, staring past the ceiling and into the sky, he was looking up to an imagined angel he always trusted on. "I don't exactly know. I just felt like I needed to. After all those years, I had to."

"Can you tell me if it was worth it?" She asked once again. Suddenly, she could only ask questions. Questions where she'd end up hurt either way. Questions where she's down to lose her heart.

"I don't think you want to know," he mumbled, aware of her fragile state. He didn't want to look at her because they both knew they were avoiding something. He knows she should stop and that he should be careful with Y/N. But he was never careful with her. Y/N agrees, she claims that he's the reason why there are bruises on her heart.

"Is it over?" The words fell off the end of her quivering lips. It was an awaiting question because if he did say yes, it was her queue to go. And Harry knew that he had to give her an answer, an answer that'll hurt although it'll be filled with an aching truth.

"Yes."

So she left. The second the word left his lips, she grabbed her clothes from the floor and quickly dressed into them. Harry didn't say anything as she did that. He simply formed a fist with his palms, the ring digging into his skin.

“Y’know, Harry, mark my words. Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me. I hope these words haunt you because I tried loving you but you fucking wouldn’t let me."

It seemed like he didn't process it fast enough, it was a whole blur to him. He watched her shake her head in disbelief after her short speech, mumbling some profanities as she left with the door shutting closed.

After a few minutes of silence, Harry could hear the sound of the car starting and eventually driving away. She was also right, he could hear her words, ready to haunt him forever. That was it. He lost her.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #harry styles angst #harry styles fic #silver springs series

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lostsummerdayz · 4 years

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Sonic The Hedgehog Movie Review

“Blue Blur or Blue Devil, this speedy flick is very ‘Omoshiroi~!’ indeed!”

By Nay Holland

The Sonic The Hedgehog movie had quite the hype and history leading up to its eventual release. It was around this time last year that the general audience saw first hand what Sonic would look like on the big screen. Needless to say, they were not happy with the design choice. Several months later, a new design for Sonic was revealed to greater approval. The slated November 2019 release was pushed back to a February 2020 release due to the resulting backlash.

Sonic’s design was just the cherry on top for most skeptics at the time. Fans of the classic Sonic animated series will remember Jaleel White as the iconic voice for Sonic. Many of said fans wanted him to reprise his role for the feature film. Ultimately, that role fell on Ben Schwartz of Parks & Recreation fame.

Throughout the trailers, the absence of many other iconic characters from the universe wasn’t ignored. Many had thought that Jim Carrey’s role of Eggman Dr. Robotnik would be the only bright spot in this film of uncertainty. The reputation of video game movie adaptations in the past also preceded any major hope savvy fans would have as well.

However, with the release of Detective Pikachu, I had newfound hope for Sonic The Hedgehog. Detective Pikachu was a movie with an original yet at-times nonsensical plot fueled by star power. Ryan Renolds played the titular character as well as one would expect, though the supporting cast were passable.

Still, compared to the terrible era of horrific fighting video games to movie adaptations earlier on in the decade, Detective Pikachu was a breath of fresh air. It was a fun movie littered with references that fans of Pokemon will catch, yet it was never over-reliant on them. The movie was able to provide its own form of momentum from start to finish. It wasn’t perfect, but it got the job done.

It may seem like I was giving a mini overview on Detective Pikachu, but the same thoughts can be applied to Sonic The Hedgehog as well. It was a fun movie with an original, yet highly nonsensical, plot. I’ll excuse the plot on the grounds that it’s Sonic The Hedgehog. Sonic was never quite known for intricate stories.

I am aware that this game exists, but, this is the exception rather than the rule.

Look who developed the game guys. C’mon.

Whoever was in charge of the script could have watched the entire first season of Sonic X for all I know and based some of their ideas for the film.

My point is, while there is a reason for Sonic to arrive on Planet Earth via his backstory, it’s not the main attraction of the film. The fuel that powers this movie are two dynamics.

The first is the dynamic between Sonic and Tom, the human protagonist of the movie. Remember when I joked about inspiration from Sonic X? The punchline punches itself.

Okay I know I’m not being fair in comparing a kid to a grown police officer but it’s the same energy!

Oh, right. The human sidekick is a police officer from a small town in Montana. Wanna know the name of the town?

Green Hills, Montana! Get it! Green Hill? The introductory zone that will never

Ever

EVER

Go away in some way shape or form?

I’m not gonna lie I looked it up just to see if such a place exists in Montana. I was sad to discover that was false. Bummer.

Sonic and Tom share most of their screen time together and you have some classic tropes. The “we’re a family!” trope, the “trying to understand someone different than you” trope, and the classic “ROAD TRIP!” trope.

The cliches aren’t bad however. They only seemed to enhance the dynamic that these two characters have with each other. Sonic is filled to the brim and armed to the teeth with pop culture references for centuries. Any reference you can think of is there.

Several speed puns involving his collection of Flash comics including the movie, Speed, itself? Check. References to The Fast and The Furious? Also check. References to modern gaming such as live streaming and...a certain dance that is honestly dated at this point? Checkmark.

Sonic’s personality is unique to this movie yet key components remain. He’s still very much so impulsive, adventurous, and bold as his other counterparts. One thing I feel the movie does right is his development. He doesn’t know the power of his own strength or his own powers. Sometimes he overestimates his abilities, which leads to trouble for both Sonic and Tom. Other times, he feels out of place and yearning for family. By the end of the movie, however, there are enough seeds planted to promote further growth in the inevitable sequel.

The human protagonist, Tom, was surprisingly as interesting. We’re introduced to his character as a wise-cracking police officer who would fit the role of a cocky protagonist in any other movie. At times he tries to play the straight man to Sonic’s antics, but after a certain part in the movie, he’s not that far from Sonic in terms of impulsiveness.

Marsden, who plays the role of Tom, is no slouch either as he delivers his one-liners, matching the same energy as Sonic. Most importantly, he is able to stand on firm ground with Jim Carrey’s Robotnik. I honestly loved seeing them both on the screen as they tried to show who was the bigger smartass.

Ah! Jim Carrey! The main reason why everyone’s interests were piqued to high levels. This leads into the second dynamic. The man with the master plan! He is the Eggman Doctor.

In trailers and in promotional images, Carrey never looked better. In this movie, it is my honor to say that Carrey looked in rare form. The quirky and zany antics of Dr. Robotnik portrayed by Carrey felt nostalgic, harking back to the days of Liar Liar and The Mask. The hair-triggering jerk reactions, the body language, and the endless amount of quips made Carrey a perfect role for the Egghead. I could literally fill this review with all of his one-liners and dialogue. That’s how subtle yet powerful they were.

Remember when I said that the plot was a tad bit diluted? I’d say that Robotnik’s introduction is where the movie begins to take flight and he’s introduced fairly early. If you look at the movie as an hour and some change of Tom and Jerry style antics, with Robotnik and Sonic respectively, then you’ll get the most mileage out of the film.

Finally I’d like to mention the miscellaneous. The attention to detail to Sonic’s design is amazing, from his fur to his beat-up footwear. The method in which he received his iconic kicks was also adorable.

The special effects were also spot-on. There are two moments in the movie where Sonic is using his speed to get himself out of a disadvantageous situation. In both of these scenes, the rate of speed is exaggerated by a still frame of his surroundings.

For those familiar with “bullet-time” and “slo mo” effects in video games, these are how the scene plays out. Seeing Sonic manipulate the environment around him only for time to regulate into “normal time” was one of the better touches of the movie from a design standpoint. I honestly wished there were more scenes like that in the movie.

As mentioned earlier with “Green Hills,” there are several in-universe references as well. I won’t mention them all, but my favorite had to have been the “Hill Top Road” street sign.

This obviously refers to Hill Top Zone from Sonic 2.

There are also references to his moves, from the iconic spin dash, to other niche ones such as his wall kick.

For a ninety-minute movie, Sonic The Hedgehog cuts to the chase, pun intended, with no filler. Post opening credits, every scene in the movie had a purpose for progression. Nothing ever seems to overstay its welcome.

For a film geared towards the younger audience, it’s enough to keep their attention span with enough content to keep the fans of Sonic in their seats. For the parents of said younger audience, the appearance of Jim Carey in rare form is a treat in itself to see. It’s not a perfect movie, but it is far from the dumpster fire that everyone feared it would be. It is, however, more than good enough to check it out.

Sonic the Hedgehog is now showing in theaters. This Valentine’s Day weekend, take your Amy Rose out on a movie date and enjoy a fun movie after dinner!

And park your butts in your seats after the credits for a surprise! Don’t leave the theater!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog movie #movie #video game #review

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greyias · 5 years

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FIC: By the Guidance of Stars - Chapter 13

Title: By the Guidance of Stars Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: E (Chapter Rating: T) Genre: Angst, H/C, Romance, Humor Synopsis: The Coalition tries to heal in the aftermath of the Battle of Yavin 4, but not every wound is physical. A series of missing scenes set during the end of Shadow of Revan. Warnings: See Chapter 1. Author’s Notes: It’s done! It’s complete at long last! *joyful sobbing* Thank you all for sticking around this long, and through the long hiatus of writer’s block.

Usually Theron liked to take a little longer getting decent, but the ticking clock forced him to rush through getting cleaned up — just taking enough time to restore his hair to its normal glory. Only a poor spy would ignore a crucial detail like bedhead in covering up his, ahem, undercover activities.

By the time he’d emerged from the refresher, his lovely companion had managed to get herself back into most of that damnable, confusing armor and getup and look almost presentable. He’d rounded up and sorted through the haphazardly discarded articles of clothing while she hit the shower first, which probably made her task a little easier. She waited patiently for him to don ninety-percent of his own attire before quirking an expectant eyebrow at him.

“What?”

“I think someone might ask questions if I suddenly started walking around with my hair down.”

“I kind of like it.”

“I will keep that in mind,” she said, almost a little too patiently, “but I still need to put my hair back up.”

“What’s stopping you?” He grinned, already knowing the answer.

“Theron Shan,” she put her hands on her hips, the motion carrying a little more weight and authority now that she had those giant pauldrons back on, “you know very well that you still have my hair tie.”

“Oh? This?” Theron waved his wrist, in her direction where the little leatheris strap was still tied. “I was thinking about keeping it. I think it suits me.”

She pressed her lips together and shook her head, but he caught the edges of her mouth quivering in a repressed smile. “Unless you have something else I can use for my hair, you will need to return it to me.”

“If you insist.”

“Master Satele will be expecting us very soon,” she reminded him, “and I do not believe either of us really want to try and explain why we kept her waiting.”

“There you go,” he muttered as he carefully untied the little strap, “being all logical again.”

“I have never met anyone as dedicated to irrationality as you,” she quipped back, expertly gathering her hair up into a ponytail.

“It’s one of my charms.” He could have just handed over the hair tie and let her finish the job, but it seemed much more efficient, not to mention a convenient way of stepping in close again, if he tied it back into place himself. “It’ll work on you eventually.”

A hint of color rushed to her cheeks, already letting him know the effectiveness of said charms. She tried to cover up the reaction by smoothing her hand over her hair to check on the neatness of the ponytail.

“But you’re probably right — again,” he continued, “we shouldn’t keep the boss waiting.”

“No, of course not,” she said, and to her credit, only sounded the slightest bit flustered.

Their trip to the clifftop where Satele was overseeing the launch of Republic’s ships was probably a little more hurried than it would have been, had they dawdled a little less in the shuttle. He needed to shift personas now, try and make it look like they were merely colleagues to the outside observer. Something that might have been called into question right now with just how close they were walking together. As the clearing came into sight, he spied his mother’s silhouette in the distance. And if he squinted, it appeared that Jakarro, Kira, and several others were waiting. Okay, yeah, they couldn’t walk in together now, that’d be way too suspicious.

So he peeled off at the last second, to a narrow walk path someone had cut through the foliage.

“Where are you going?” she asked quietly.

He just shot her back a grin, and waved her on. If his ears didn’t deceive him, he thought he heard an exasperated sigh as he plowed through the underbrush. He gave his hair one last check before emerging from the tree line, just a few seconds before Grey did from the other path. Satele gave him a polite nod at his arrival, gaze focused on the various Republic vessels that were taking off. He had almost convinced himself that this had been the perfect ploy, when he caught Kira glancing at him, then back at her boss, before rolling her eyes.

Okay.

Maybe not one hundred percent effective. But it was all he could come up with at the last minute. His mind had been occupied with more important tasks than coming up with a proper cover story. Like making sure every article of clothing had been tucked back into all of the right places — and maybe sneaking in one last kiss before unlocking the shuttle door.

Thankfully Jakarro was less observant than a nosy ginger Jedi and hadn’t seemed to connect the dots quite as quickly. Theron was fairly certain that the Wookiee would have practiced far less discretion, and the loud protocol droid still strapped to his chest even less so. Besides, the nearly bone shattering farewell hug that Jakarro had swept the spy up in had been quite enough, thank you — especially considering it had smashed Theron’s face into C2-D4’s disembodied head for an up-close and personal goodbye. He was saved from spending the entire flight back to Coruscant in a kolto tank treating re-cracked ribs by his dashing Jedi Knight in shining armor rushing to his rescue.

“Jakarro,” she said amicably, laying her hand on the large Wookiee’s shoulder, “it has been such a pleasure working with you and Deefour in this endeavor.”

The ploy worked and he abandoned his current hugging victim to envelop her gauntlet with his big paw in a firm handshake. Theron tried to maintain his dignity and didn’t stagger away upon being released, but did move out of grabbing distance in case the smuggler decided resume his affectionate farewell.

“This has been the most fun the droid and I have ever had, tiny friend,” Jakarro roared in Shriiwook.

“You two certainly have a way of livening things up,” Grey agreed.

“I’ll say,” Kira added with a knowing smirk in Theron’s direction. Silently she mouthed the words ‘Motesta Driller’ at him.

He glared back at her. “Thanks. I had just forgotten about that.”

“Don’t lie, you’ll never forget.”

He refused to deign that with a response, and beyond their little group, he could make out Satele raising a brow in inquiry. That in itself was an uncomfortable reminder of the conversation she had nearly walked in on earlier that morning, not to mention his afternoon activities with the Grand Master’s favorite knight. He cleared his throat, and shot Kira a more serious look.

“You know,” she added quickly, turning back to the unlikely set of smugglers, “it really is a shame that you two have to leave so soon.”

“As lovely as this has been,” Deefour said, “we have some lucrative business opportunities awaiting us back on that pirate infested planet. Nothing to worry yourselves over — just normal, legitimate business.”

“Right,” Grey drew the word out to several syllables.

“Hopefully these ‘opportunities’ turn out better than your Manaan contract,” Theron said flatly.

“You take on one client that’s working for a secret cult trying to take over the galaxy and you never hear the end of it.” If Deefour could have shook his head, he would have. As it was, the color in his eyes just blinked in dissatisfaction.

“You have to admit,” Grey said, “that can be a sticking point for some.”

“I have implemented a new screening process!”

Jakarro growled, “We have no screening process!”

“Of course not.” Kira rolled her eyes.

“You know, you could join my crew if you’d prefer.” The lilt in Grey’s tone was teasing, but Theron was fairly certain the offer to adopt the wayward pair was serious. “The chances of you winding up on the bottom of the ocean floor again are very small.”

“As tempting as that sounds—”

“There is not enough room for the Mighty Jakarro on your tiny ship!” Jakarro cut the droid off, his word choice summoning flashbacks to the “pep talk” from the night before.

Mercifully, before the explanation on the Wookiee’s size could go down any unwanted path, Deefour tactfully added, “Another time perhaps.”

“The Force works in mysterious ways sometimes,” Satele remarked as the smuggler duo disappeared back into the tree line.

“I’m not sure ‘mysterious’ is the word I’d use,” Theron muttered.

The sarcastic comment didn’t phase her, instead Satele turned to Grey. “I have just finished a meeting with the Council regarding all that has transpired.”

The knight didn’t exactly stiffen, but there was the slightest shift in her posture. Straightening her back and folding her loose hands together in front of her, which forced the pauldrons on her shoulders to jut out. The natural, cheerful expression she’d been wearing for the previous conversation smoothed into a pleasantly neutral one. Her cape fluttered lightly in the breeze behind her as her transformation back into the perfect, model Jedi seemed almost complete.

It was a curious sight to behold, not unlike watching someone slip a mask into place. Theron didn’t quite know what to make of the uncomfortable feeling that bubbled up in his gut seeing it happen, even though he did the same thing all the time. When it came time to do the job, the mask was fixed in place. Another similarity between their chosen professions.

“The work that all of you have done against Revan and his followers is to be commended.” Satele’s tone had a note of officiality to it.

Curious, Theron glanced over at Kira. She had tucked her arms behind her back in an almost formal fashion and was more focused on the proceedings about to happen with something akin to pride than acknowledging the spy’s silent question. Interesting.

“You have a unique perspective and experience among all of us,” Satele continued, “especially when it comes to dealing with Vitiate.”

There was no flinch from Grey at the mention of the name, just a tip of her head in Satele’s direction of acknowledgment.

“The Republic is forming a taskforce to address the renewed threat that he poses, and I have Darth Marr’s word that the Empire is doing so as well. We need all of our best people working on this — and it only makes sense that the Order’s foremost expert on the matter represent us in this endeavor.”

All of those words were meant to be a compliment, the appointment an honor — but a trickle of dread dripped down Theron’s spine for some reason, settling in his gut hard. Ngani Zho liked to say that what most people called gut instinct was just the Force reaching out to them. That people would be better off listening to that. It was one of the memories of his mentor that had a tendency to either rankle or comfort him depending on the day. At this moment in time, though, it was unsettling. A bit like tasting the tang of ozone in the air before an oncoming thunderstorm.

“You are already familiar with the SIS’s liaison for the task force,” Satele said, rousing Theron back to the present.

He gave a half-hearted shrug at both Kira and Grey. “Hi.”

It wasn’t exactly the most witty of remarks, but he was still unsettled. It made perfect sense that the Republic would involve Grey in this, choose her to lead the fight against the Emperor. She’d already done it before after all. It would be more stupid to keep her sidelined really. But it also meant she’d now be on the front lines tracking Vitiate down. Confronting him again. The thought of that stirred at the unease in his gut and he wasn’t sure where it was coming from. Maybe the Force was trying to warn him of something to come, if it actually did deign to actually associate with him in any way, or maybe it was just his own feelings surging to the forefront and blocking out common sense.

Of course, the bright side of all of this meant he’d be seeing her again, probably sooner rather than later. Even if he’d prefer that reunion to be under much different circumstances.

“The council was unanimous on this decision, and one other.” Oblivious to Theron’s internal monologue and struggle, his mother continued to drone on. The sudden shifting of those giant pauldrons caught his attention, as Grey unclasped her hands in front of her and tucked them behind her back, feet spreading apart into an even more formal stance that matched Kira’s.

“Master Greyias Highwind,” Satele said proudly, “you have served both the Jedi Order and the Republic under extraordinary circumstances, time and time again.”

Grey’s serenely composed Jedi expression broke, blue eyes widening in realization, even as Kira’s lips started to twitch in a repressed smile. Almost as if she knew what was about to be said.

“You embody every ideal in the Jedi Code—”

Theron managed to bite back a laugh, just barely, and was struggling to hold back a full-on grin as he caught Grey’s gaze. He physically pressed his lips together tightly to try and hold back in his reaction, mind immediately straying back to the shuttle. He caught just she slightest purse of her lips and light flush of extra color rush to her cheeks, making him wonder if their thoughts were running in sync at this very moment.

Well, almost every ideal, he thought to himself with no small amount of smugness. The important ones anyway.

Satele either missed, or was intentionally ignoring the silent byplay going on. “It is with great pride and honor as Grand Master, that I name you Battlemaster of the Jedi Order.”

A wave of pride rushed over Theron then, watching the new Battlemaster blink, once. Twice. Her lips twitching as if fighting a smile down and to live up to that embodiment of every ideal of the Jedi Code she was supposed to represent. As much as he had his own issues with the Jedi, it was readily apparent that she adored the Order she worked for. And seeing her so happy and honored was… it was something alright.

“I thank you and the Council for this honor, Master Satele,” Grey had almost, almost managed to keep the smile out of her voice, so she could retain the appearance of that proper, perfect Jedi. “I will do everything I can to fulfill my duties with wisdom, skill, and humility.”

“You have my every confidence,” Satele said, her own serene countenance cracking, a rare and genuine smile emerging underneath.

Theron watched the interaction with probably a little more interest than called for. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen that warm, indulgent expression before on Satele. Prior to this whole business with the Revanites, Theron’s dealing with his mother had been limited and always very tense. He’d always cast the blame outwards for that, it was easy, almost natural to do so. But it was possible there was… more than just a little bit of baggage that made its way into each of their interactions. Listening to Grey the night before — and watching the two of them now — was starting to make him reconsider if that baggage somehow prevented him from keeping a more open mind.

Whenever he talked with Satele about anything approaching a personal subject, Theron felt himself revert into that angry teenager left to wander the galaxy on his own. He’d learned quickly that it was best to make the first strike to put his opponent on the offensive — and for some reason when it came to his mother he always reverted to that mentality.

When they’d talked back on Coruscant for the first time as mother and son, she had promised him she would always be there if he needed her. And she… had been. He was alive now because she had convinced Jace to bring the Republic fleet to Duros when he’d asked. And she’d forged a Coalition with Darth Marr on his (and Grey’s) word — granted they’d had the data to back it up. But it very easily could have gone the other way. And she’d supported all of his judgement calls when it came to the mission here on Yavin. Had stood next to him for the briefing with Trant. She’d even given him, granted in a slightly underhanded way, his old ship back.

And yes, she had tried to meddle yesterday, but it hadn’t been unprovoked when he replayed the memory of the incident. And it maybe hadn’t actually been about what he’d been assuming at first.

The more thought he gave it, the more he had to wonder if he was… missing anything. By just reacting all of the time. And not listening. Always pushing any personal interaction they had into an argument. Shutting her out of his life completely, instead of… not.

Not that he had any idea of how to go about that. Probably best to not think about it, keep focused on the here and now.

“Our first priority is to understand what happened the other night,” Satele was still addressing her new Battlemaster. “Even if we can guess at what his ultimate goal likely is, we need to understand where he might have gone if we are to bring an end to his threat. We will need more intelligence before we can be sure.”

“That’s probably where I come in,” Theron cut in, shooting a look over at Grey. It was probably the easiest way to try and explain their earlier conversation back in the shuttle, at least while everyone else was listening.

“It is a large task,” Grey said evenly, matching his gaze, “and we must all do our part.”

If Satele sensed any underlying tone or tension to their words, she didn’t show it, instead turning her attention above to where the Coalition’s ships were filling the sky. Behind the gas giant, Yavin’s sun was beginning to set in its orbit, its rays bouncing off of the red planet and reflecting onto the moon. A deep red hue filled the valley beyond them, haloing the ships in a a beautiful but haunting light.

“Not sure I’ll ever get used to the sunsets here,” Theron said absently, watching the glow creep across the canopy below. “Kind of glad I don’t have to.”

“It will be nice to return to some semblance of normality,” Satele agreed. “This entire endeavor has been… different. In both good and disturbing ways.”

That was putting it lightly. “Yeah, I mean, as happy as I will be to get off this rock, I’m not exactly looking forward to trying to explain this whole mess to everyone else back on Coruscant. Conspiracies, government infiltrations. Not just one Revan back from the dead but two. Or whatever that was. I’m not even sure I understand half of what went down — kind of sounds insane when I say it aloud.”

“I would be happy to assist with that,” Satele said cautiously, “with your permission of course. I am more… familiar with matters of the Force.”

He arched a brow at her, trying to contain his dubiety. “You sure? It’s going to be a lot of boring meetings.”

“You forget Theron,” she said, with just the tiniest hints of humor bubbling to the surface, “I studied the art of patience under Ngani Zho too. I am more than prepared for a few skeptical Republic officials.”

“This I have got to see.”

The smile he exchanged with her wasn’t infused with the soft and gentle warmth that he’d witnessed a few moments prior, but unlike all of their previous interactions, nothing in it was forced. It was a little more conspiratorial, with just a hint of mischief dancing in the eyes. And if he wasn’t imagining things, she shot him back one that was almost identical.

Huh.

Maybe that’s where he got it from.

Beyond his mother, he caught a glimpse of Grey, still standing at attention, gaze directed up to the sky as if she was trying to blend into the background and give the parent-child moment some semblance of privacy. Despite the projected formality and image of practiced disinterest, the corner of her lips were still quirked up ever so slightly.

“It is a long journey back to Coruscant,” Satele’s expression had shifted back into her normal, placid expression, “we should not keep the Dauntless waiting.”

“Probably need to go grab my ship in that case.” He indicated the path he’d exited from the jungle. “Speaking of… thanks. For that.”

If Theron hadn’t been watching, he might have missed the change in her expression. Like the subtle ripple on a still pond, it was just the barest of things. Brows arching up ever so slightly, the laugh lines he had never noticed as such easing just a little as she nodded an acknowledgement. It probably should have infuriated him that she didn’t say anything more, but oddly enough, it didn’t. There were others around, which would have made it awkward if she had, and maybe… maybe it was good enough as a start. The flight back to Coruscant was a long one, and there’d be plenty of time to talk more if he really wanted. Theron wasn’t really sure if he was ready for that yet — so best to let things rest where they landed for now.

He watched her exchange some parting words to both of the Jedi that remained, before sending him one last look as she made her way back to the shuttle that would take her back to the Dauntless.

Realizing that it was now just the three of them, Kira gave a slow, wandering glance at her present company, before clearing her throat. “You know, I think Teeseven probably needs some help with those preflight checks. Make sure we’re ready to leave this Dark Side infested place for good.”

“If there is an issue with the ship, I can help—”

“Nah, I got this,” Kira said, tipping her head in Theron’s direction. “It’ll give you time to wrap up things.”

Grey gave her grateful smile. “Thank you, Kira.”

“Anytime.”

They both watched her departing form, the silence hanging in the air almost as if it was a physical thing. Theron shifted on the balls of his feet, glancing back out at the valley and jungle beyond, bathed in the red light of the sunset, before glancing back to see an expression directed at him, caught somewhere between irritation and amusement.

“Were you ever planning on telling me that was actually your shuttle?”

The laugh he let out was only half nerves, half relief that she’d broken through the barrier of quiet. He wasn’t meaning to stall, but… yeah. Yeah, he totally was. He didn’t want to do this.

“I did tell you,” Theron’s protest was about as weak and transparent as his attempts at delaying the inevitable, “you just didn’t believe me.”

She just shook her head, still unable to make up her mind whether she wanted to laugh or sigh in exasperation. In his head, the chrono that had been counting down from the moment he’d woken up hit zero, and with it, a feeling of some finality settling deep in his bones. As unexpectedly amazing as the day had turned out, he now had to face the worst part of it: the fact that it was now over.

“I’ve never been a fan of goodbyes,” he said quietly.

“We are on the same task force, Theron.” Grey cocked her head slightly, giving him a look he couldn’t quite decipher. “Do you really expect we won’t see each other?”

“No, it’s not that,” he tried, “I’ve just… usually I don’t work such long stretches with the same people like I have this time… what I mean is…” Hell, why was this so difficult? “I don’t usually see the same people day-to-day, and despite how much fun this planet has overall not been, I...”

“I’m going to miss you too, Theron,” she said gently. “For however long this next time apart will be.”

He shot her an awkward smile, trying to shrug off his chagrin over being unable to actually say those words aloud. There was a part of him that hated how she was able to so effectively reduce him to this rambly state without doing a damned thing, and how she seemed to always see right through it to the heart of the matter. Or rather… just to him. Which was… not something he was supposed to want or like. But he did.

More than he should have, considering that most spies would recoil at having anyone be able to see the real person underneath all of the layers carefully presented the world — but she wasn’t just anyone. She was… her. And maybe it was a dangerous thing, a liability even, to not just place his trust in someone like this, but allow himself to get lost in them.

But he was Theron Shan, and he thrived on danger. When he looked at her — and the way her smile reached her eyes when set his heart racing like all of the best adrenaline rushes he’d ever chased — he knew that she was the furthest thing from a liability.

So this whole thing, whatever it was, was fine. Good even. Really and truly.

“I don’t exactly have a good track record with this sort of thing,” he admitted.

“It is new for me as well.”

“What I said before,” he said a bit clumsily, “about finding time… I still don’t know what my schedule looks like. But if our paths do cross again, sooner rather than later…”

She reached across the distance between them, twining their gloved fingers together. “I suppose we will just see what happens when that moment arrives.”

“I guess so,” he let out a half-laugh. “Sorry, I suck at this.”

“You are not as bad as you think,” she said gently, before sobering, “but Theron?”

“Hmm?”

“I meant what I said earlier too,” she looked him straight in the eye, as if it was important that he understand her, “about Vitiate. He’s dangerous.”

“I know,” he reminded her, “but we’ve got this. It’s going to work out in the end, I’m sure of it.”

Even if he had to turn the galaxy upside down to keep his promise. Whatever it took.

“And here I thought you were calling me the optimist.”

“Hey, I learned from the best.” He gave her a cheeky grin.

She gave him that look again that he adored, the one where she couldn’t decide if she wanted to kiss him or smack him. It was something special — and more importantly — it was his. And he’d do everything in his power to protect it.

“Stars, I really want to kiss you again,” he murmured.

“What’s stopping you?” She looked almost deceptively innocent as she peered back at him, but he caught the hints of an impish smile forming.

“Might land you in a world of trouble if someone saw us.”

She made a show of looking left. And then right. Up to the empty watch towers, then at the blazing sunset filled with ships leaving the atmosphere, down to the jungle surrounding them, before looking back at him. The mischievous smile was fully in place now, all traces of that serene mask fully tossed away now that they were alone. That perfect Jedi was gone, leaving this ridiculous dork in her place.

“I don’t see anyone watching,” she said lightly.

That was all the invitation he needed, and without another word he pulled her in for one last, slow lingering kiss. He still didn’t have the words for whatever this thing was, but he did know one thing.

It was worth fighting for.

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #Theron Shan #Female Jedi Knight/Hero of Tython #otp: adorkable #oc: greyias highwind #SoR Fic O Doom #swtor #fanfic #this is it!#the last one!#(for this story)#(i still have the forged alliances fic)#(but that is a project for another day)#greyfic

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