#that Sam is free. Lucifer was never here. this is happening. and it is terrible that he cannot be grateful for freedom. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autisticandroids · 3 years

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yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

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ckneal · 3 years

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So, there’s this one angel story in the back of my head that I know I wont write. I wont write it, because it’s utter nonsense, with very little regard for the canonical timeline of Supernatural, and a willfully blurry view on what is and is not “in character.” It’s fluff. It’s all fluff, in the form of a bunch of smaller stories that gradually weave together, following the Love, Actually style of storytelling, but instead of problematic love stories, it’s all about angels playing hooky from Heaven after the Fall.

(Seriously, there is no substance here, I swear.)

Stories include Abner, living out the first half of the movie Family Man, struggling to figure out how to be a good father and house husband after he steps into the life of the raging alcoholic who agreed to be his vessel. There’s also a very minor story about Esther (not to be confused with Hester, who is not in this story because she never deserted her post in Heaven) learning to play the part of a little girl and navigating schoolyard politics, but kids can be mean and Esther learns the hard way that Michael’s approach to asserting dominance in Heaven does not translate well. There’s also Daniel and Adina, who both settle into vessels in the same movie theater where a romantic comedy is playing, and fall into a very innocent, play-acting sort of love after they leave the theatre—like little kids pretending to be in love, recreating the scenes from the movie, but at the same time not really understanding it. Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anael each trying to roll with the luxurious high roller life style, and awkwardly running into each other at VIP poker games, exclusive spas and clubs, and the occasional orgy that they promptly leave IMMEDATELY after running into a sibling (don’t give me weird looks, Balthazar and Gabriel canonically include that sort of thing in their definition of luxury, and the whole thing of their story is their siblings keep cramping their style). Tyrus is in there bowling, somewhere. Benjamin’s playing arcade games with his wife. And then there’s Thaddeus, my pet favorite minor angel character, realizing what’s happening as he’s falling with all the other faithful angels during the Fall and seizing the opportunity to abandon his life as a guard and torturer, settling into a pop star for his vessel—initially for the sake of the cushy lifestyle, but then gradually looking back, before the garden and Lucifer, before everyone was assigned a job in Heaven, like it or not, and the options were to adapt or to be smote, and remembering that back then, he could sing.

And of course, Michael and Adam get a story too—in which Michael lowkey gets into a pissing contest with death, as he and Adam travel the world, hitting up hospital after hospital to heal people. Because the first thing Adam wanted to do after getting out of the cage (okay, second thing—burgers came first) was go to the nearest medical center and start healing people left and right. And at first, they’re having a great time. Adam steals a white jacket he finds in the breakroom somewhere, and anytime someone says he looks a little young to be a doctor (Adam still looking nineteen years old, because I say so), Michael wipes the poor sap’s mind. But eventually—sometime after they’ve cleared out the children’s ward, the cancer ward, the cardiac ward—Billie shows up, sniping at them that they can’t just go around healing people who are destined to die, because there is an order to life and death that cannot be shoved aside. And Billie tries to make a show of it, as Terra did with Dean, by having several people who Adam had healed over the course of the day inadvertently cause several massive accidents. The news suddenly comes pouring out of the television, channels flipping as newscasters talk about tragedies occurring in several different parts of the city they’re currently in. The sound of approaching ambulance sirens fills the air, as in the hospital hallway, doctors and nurses begin hurrying to receive a rush of ER patients.

Adam’s horrified.

Michael does not take kindly to this. He snaps his fingers and makes it so that the carnage has never happened. Because he is the archangel Michael, only two steps away from being a god, and if he says that all of these people are going to live, then they are going to live, and he WILL NOT be intimidated, especially by an amateur reaper whose only qualification for her position was dying at the right time.

Billie in turn lands Michael with a cold stare, and points out that the order to life and death is beyond even God’s authority, let alone daddy’s blunt, sniveling instrument.

As Michael’s eyes start to glow, Adam steps in and says, “So, to be clear, you want us to stop healing people on the verge of death? We can do that.”

After Billie leaves, Michael is outraged, but Adam says, “No, Michael, THINK about it.”

We then cut to other stories, where newscasts in the background reveal that ailments that are not IMMIEDATELY fatal (AIDs, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, etc.) are mysteriously disappearing overnight, worldwide.

Billie is not amused, and tells her reapers to be on the lookout for an archangel at every major hospital in the world.

Cut to Michael throwing open the door of the bunker, muttering aloud to Adam that he’s going to do it, he’s going to bind Death, just like Lucifer did—how hard can it be? Sam and Dean see him as he goes stomping off toward the cabinet where they keep all of their magical dry goods, but Michael snaps his fingers and the two of them are abruptly half drunk in Dean’s man cave, sitting in front of Dean’s flat screen TV, watching some campy monster movie, because that’s lowkey what Michael and Adam assume they do all day.

As they’re raiding Sam and Dean’s supplies though, Adam says, “Wait, I have an idea.”

Cut to Abner looking up while pushing his vessel’s daughter in a park swing, and literally seeing Michael and Adam chasing an ambulance, so they can technically heal the person inside before reaching the hospital.

Yes, I’m aware that Abner was dead by the time Michael and Adam got out of the cage. But see, this story? This story is like when someone gifts you a goldfish unexpectedly, and you put it in a bowl, checking in to feed it a couple times a day, lowkey expecting it to die. But it doesn’t die, it gets bigger. And you’re not a cruel person, so you put it in a bigger tank, but it just gets bigger again, and you don’t really know what’s going on, but you know, you just kind of keep checking in, meeting the minimum requirements but not really getting in there as a guiding force because it’s a goldfish and it’s surely going to die any minute now—but then you look over and there’s giant tank taking up your living room, and you’re thawing out bloodworms twice a day, and looking into tankmates to keep Charles company, and realize that “Oh wow, I guess this is a thing now.”

In short, the story says we’re ignoring the timeline, and it’s calling the shots. I’m just keeping the tank clean.

The angels all eventually wind up running into each other. Abner and Esther happen upon one another in a park, where Esther is morosely realizing that she is terrible at being a human child but she does not want to go home to Heaven, and it just happens to be the same park where Abner goes with his “little nibblet” once a day to let her toddle around the playground while he chats with nannies and other house parents. Anael, Adina, and Daniel meet up when the latter two’s game has reached the point where they’ve decided to get married, and they apparently need to buy something new—preferably blue—as per this very important rhyme someone told them about. Esther and Gabriel run into each other in an ice cream parlor. Thaddeus gets recognized while doing an interview on TV that everyone sees. And, while out joyriding in a Lamborghini, on their way to meet up with the growing community of angels who decided to opt out of their responsibility to Heaven and their father’s legacy, Balthazar, Gabriel, and Anael are all startled to see Michael land on an ambulance stopped next to them at a red light.

Balthazar and Anael are both terrified, as if they’ve just been busted by a parent, because Michael, of course, is the guy who enforces the rules, and isn’t he supposed to be in Hell? They both shoot Gabriel looks as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing’ when Gabriel, watching as Michael climbs down and matter-of-factly wrenches the ambulance doors open, calls out, “Hey, Mike! Is that you?”

Michael looks over, freezes for a second—not prepared to be suddenly thrust into a social situation in the middle of his self-imposed mission to spite death—then his eyes flash and Adam takes over. “Oh hey, you’re Michael’s family? What a small world! I’m Adam, I’ve heard so much about you. Wait, hang on—”

The light starts to turn green, but Adam snaps his fingers and it promptly reverts to red.

Three jaws drop in the luxury car, and they don’t even hear Adam politely explain that he and Michael are in the middle of something, as he ducks into the ambulance, because Michael’s evidently letting a tiny human use his powers like it’s nothing, and what does that mean?

“Sweet dad in the unknown, Michael’s shagging a human. . .”

“Nooo!”

“HOW?”

“Hey, kid, you like weddings?”

At some point in the story, all the MIA angels are together, and Benjamin or someone comes running in saying, “Quick, they’re coming! Everyone hide!”

And everyone scatters, except for Michael, who stands in place, saying, “Gabriel, we’re archangels, two of the most powerful beings in existence. Why would we—”

And then Gabriel picks Adam up like a sack of potatoes and sprints off, calling back, “Trust me, you do NOT want to get involved with them!”

Being a projection, Michael is obligated to follow.

Team Free Will then walks by, looking constipated from whatever Big Awful Thing is currently threatening to destroy the world.

The story, of course, culminates in the wedding of Adina and Daniel, who still don’t quite understand what marriage is beyond promising to love each forever, which of course they will, after all, they are the very best of friends—which is about the same concept that most of the other angels present have. Adam is the first one to actually approach the big awkward question, upon finding out who the bride and groom are.

“Wait, aren’t they brother and sister?”

To which Serafina’s Adam, (who is of course there since Serafina was the original angel to play hooky) whose sons married his daughters, and all the angels, who do not understand what that has to do with anything, all cock their heads in unison and respond with, “So?”

Adam struggles to find words, looking into so many innocent faces. Then Benjamin’s wife puts a hand on his shoulder, whispering, “Shhh, let them have their fun.”

Benjamin’s wife and the two Adams wind up sitting at the venue’s bar, where they order nachos from a very confused bar tender, and watch as the angels go about setting up a wedding. But given that most angels haven’t been on earth regularly in roughly two thousand years, none of them have a clear grasp of what a human wedding entails.

“I heard it’s traditional for the father to give away the bride.”

“I think they’re supposed to kiss over bread.”

“Do humans still slaughter cows at these things?”

“I’m pretty sure someone is supposed to break a glass—”

Several angels promptly throw glassware on the floor.

At no point do the angels ask the humans for advice.

Occasionally, Gabriel knowingly throws out obscure details to keep the confusion going.

“You know, the groom needs to stand with the right arm to the aisle in case a sword fight breaks out.”

“Right! . . .How do we know which one’s the groom?”

At the bar, Adam open’s his mouth to say something, but the original Adam shushes him.

“No no, son, let them get there.”

The angels agree that being the better fighter, Adina should be the groom.

They’re nearly ready to start when Michael suddenly doubles over with his hand over his mouth. It coincides with the sound of Adam pounding the bar top, having just eaten a Carolina Reaper pepper on dare. Michael’s eyes quickly flash silver-blue as he straightens, and both he and Adam are abruptly fine—even if their eyes are still watering somewhat. But a different sort of damage has already been done, as Anael, Balthazar, and Gabriel all abruptly turn toward the triad of humans, having been reminded that the Michael walking around with them is actually a projection. In actuality, Michael is anchored to the human ex-college student sitting at the bar.

All three of them rush toward Adam, but Serafina gets there first, asking Adam if he’s ever tried mushroom tea.

Balthazar gets there next.

“Adam, was it? We didn’t get to talk in the car, let’s fix that. Are you over twenty-one? You know what, this is a family affair, don’t worry—CAN I GET TWO SHOTS OF DON JULIO OVER HERE?”

From that point on, any time Adam turns around, there’s one of Michael’s siblings, wanting to get to know him—by consuming some sort of beverage. Because Adam and Michael are sharing body—and that means they share a liver too. A bet ensues as to how much it will take to get God’s alleged favorite wasted.

Gabriel’s actually one of the first out, having been convinced that Michael would be a lightweight. Little does he suspect that Benjamin and his wife caught onto what was happening soon after Adam was fed his third long island iced tea and second jager bomb, and began quietly cleansing the alcohol from his system through casual shoulder pats and high fives.

Adam does not know what to make of any of this, but it’s Michael’s family and he wants to make a good impression, so he just goes with it.

Thaddeus, of course, is in charge of music, Gabriel and Esther consume the majority of the cake, and Michael catches the bouquet (he may have cheated after finding out what the bouquet toss is for).

#my thoughts #lowkey might be putting this idea out so it'll leave me alone #midam #supernatural angels #the divine shurley family

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spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 3 years

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Honestly the Supernatural ending was fucked all along, because to have a strong ending, a work has to resolve whatever tensions and questions it set up in the opening – not necessarily in an uncomplicated way, but it has to offer a kind of answer to the fundamental story questions.

The premise set up in The Woman in White is: Sam has a good life, Sam is an up-and-coming guy on his way to happiness and success, but Sam's father is not doing well; Sam is angry at his father, who he remembers as, at best, a habitual drunkard who kept Sam's life in chaos and then disowned him. So question number one is, given that Sam is better and happier now that he's no longer entangled with his father, should he revisit any of that? Does he continue to owe his father anything, should he help look for him, should he even care at all that his father might be in trouble? That feels like a clear no, not really, let John solve his own problems – until Jessica dies in the same way Mary did, and that introduces a twist. Has Sam actually misunderstood who his father was? Does John know, has John all along known something that Sam needs to know about his own past, that he can't live his happy life until he understands? The search for John is now about not just “does Sam owe his family anything?” – it's about “does Sam need his family?” And there's a plot resonance, but also a thematic resonance there: do you need your family? Even if your family's pretty fucked up? Does going back to your unhappy childhood serve some necessary function on your road to a successful adulthood? Can you pretend forever that you don't come from the fucked-up place you come from, or do you actually have to go back and understand the truth about who your parents were because the past is never just the past?

So the early seasons are largely about answering that question, through the vehicles of Sam, who would prefer not to admit that his fucked-up past can't really be run away from, and Dean, who would prefer not to admit that there was anything fucked-up about his past at all. Both of them learn and change: Sam begins to understand where he really comes from and why he can't separate himself from the forces that made him, and Dean begins to understand that yeah, actually, he should separate himself a lot more from the forces that made him, that it's foolish to hold up his father as some kind of infallible god, because even God isn't that. All the stories that spin out in the early seasons about Earth as the cosmic battleground for the family strife between Michael and Lucifer are linked to the pilot by that question: is there any escaping the reach of your family and its history? And the show decides, yeah, we have free will, we shouldn't just lie down and die because that's our inheritance. We should change the script. We can be better than our parents were. Better than we were ordered or prophesied to be. And the clear mechanism for all of this is love: Sam falls to Lucifer's influence when he's rejected again (Dean following in John's footsteps), but Sam is able to shake off that demonic control long enough to thwart Lucifer because Dean loves him and accepts him and remains with him when it looks like it's too late to save him (the thing John never did, couldn't do). Dean changes the script by being more able to love Sam unconditionally than John could, and the basic question of the premise is answered: you do have to go back to your family – not to accept or replicate their mistakes, but to do better, to love them better this time. You have to heal from the root. As a viewer, you can accept or reject this resolution; I personally like it, but I'm from that same cultural background, I have a family history that vibes with the things the show is discussing, I'm primed to like and agree with the conclusion. Maybe you're not, and that's okay! The point is, it is a conclusion to something. The show asked questions and then provided answers.

The problem is...the show answered its own questions in 5 seasons, and in such a way that the naturally satisfying conclusion was – literally anything else except more hunting. You can't say the Big Answer is loving and forgiving your family in spite of their flaws, and then also say that what you want to do with your life is The Family Business just as your father practiced it. Once you say that the prescription is to heal at the root, something should change. And it doesn't, really, because the show can't change. It has a formula. It's about hunting. Dean can't give up violence and become a family man, even though that's been clearly established as something he'd be better and happier doing. Sam can't pursue any dreams that weren't the dreams his father had for him, even though that's been clearly established as the thing he's been willing to fight for all along. So if the show isn't going to be over, they both have to actively choose to go against their own self-interest. And season 6 is pretty clever, actually – soulless!Sam is a device that does get them back on the road in a way that makes sense; we know why Sam isn't doing what's right for Sam, and we know that Dean can be convinced to do what's wrong for him in order to save Sam. It tracks. But it can't last, and what takes over pretty soon from there is...inertia, basically. They keep doing this because this is what they do. It doesn't really make them happy. It just feels necessary, because Hunters is what they are; no Hunters retire, in the whole show. They are never allowed. It is not done. They may lapse into more of a part-time gig, but nobody actually leaves the business, because it would be – bad. People would die, we guess? A hero never would, we guess? It's not terribly clear, but the general sense is that it just has to happen this way because this is their story now. This is who they are.

And that's the opposite of what the initial story was about. Now the story about using your free will to transform and redeem the dysfunctions you inherited is a story about two guys just working in the family business while they die inside of loneliness and PTSD. There's no story question in the later seasons; there's just stimulus and response. Oops, Leviathans. Oops, Mark of Cain. Oops, Amara. Oops, Lucifer and Lucifer and more Lucifer. Oops, Michael again. We better deal with that, I guess. Some of the storylines are okay in later seasons; some individual episodes are fantastic. But the whole thing is mired in the fact that there can't be forward momentum in the story because there are opponents and antagonists galore, but there's no internal engine to the story, no fundamental problem to conquer or question to resolve. From outside the story, we can sit here and say, Hey, it's a problem for me that these dudes are fucking miserable, I'd like them to work on resolving that! But within the story, they're never allowed to admit that is a problem. Because it's an adventure show about brave guys doing good deeds, and it's undermined at the most basic level if we come out and admit that what would make these dudes less miserable is no more fucking adventures, no more martyring themselves to do good deeds, no more hunting at all.

When the show came to an end, it was epically fucked, because it had nothing to resolve. And to give the show credit, it did try to do something interesting that would refer back to and provide a commentary on the whole show – this meta business about “have we all been God's favorite tv show all along?” There's something there; it reminds me of the CS Lewis quote about how he never worried that God didn't exist, but he did often fear that God was actually a vivisectionist. What if the reason this show has been churning along in place forever in spite of the characters' vivid and unchanging dissatisfaction with their life is that some other force wanted them to keep going on adventures? Maybe it's God, who's a writer (that's ground we've gone over before), but not just a writer – he's his only fan, his only audience. He's the Fandom. He's the Audience. He's us. Sam and Dean have been on this hamster wheel of labor and loss with no endpoint in sight because that's what we tune in to see; if they both quit, we change the channel. We're the ones who demand they Always Keep Fighting, who call them heroes for suffering through this endless parade of baddies and funerals. I mean, that's pretty good, as a way to retcon the complete pointlessness of the last ten years! The point is: it was fun to watch. We liked the characters and the episodes and we wanted them to keep doing that for our entertainment, even though we knew it wasn't any fun for them. It's basically the network tv version of Cabin In the Woods, and there's a – I would say mildly interesting question to raise there about what's drama, what's catharsis, what do we get out of stories about other people's suffering and other people's heroism? In my opinion it's a mildly interesting route to open up, although I don't know that there's enough meat on the bone to really make it pay off. An effort was clearly made, though!

But to follow that through to its conclusion, you'd have to answer it, and the way it's set up, there is no satisfying answer possible from inside the universe. We can answer what we get out of stories, perhaps. But why would that be of any interest or comfort to the people in the stories? Their story can't resolve for Sam and Dean if we learn it was actually a story about us the whole time.

So what do you do to end that story? Well, you're a little bit stuck. You can have them resign or get free somehow, sure, and the show does that. But what then? You have two choices, really: either we loop back to s6 and they keep being hunters because It's a Show About Two Hunters – only this time they have True Free Will so you have to assert that they're really freely choosing it, and you have to somehow justify that they would really freely choose to keep doing this thing that's never made them happy, which is depressing as shit – or you have them quit and go pursue their own lives and their own desires – which pretty much goes ahead and admits that the last ten seasons have been us the audience benefitting from the Winchesters' unwilling participation in this Saw-like theme park that was set up for our entertainment (via our stand-in, Chuck). That's clearly the bolder option, but it's also like – super fucked up! And it denies both the audience and, more critically, the people who make the show from having any real victory lap, any way to present the show as a completed entity and say “here's a great story that we're proud of and excited about.” It's such a bleak corner that the show has painted itself into at that point – all of this only happened against our heroes' will, but enjoy it anyway! Of course that got pushback. Of course people wanted to end with something that portrayed the characters as the drivers of the show, protagonists whose choices mattered, whose lives mattered. But they weren't, and they didn't. That was the premise the writers went with in season 15, because they needed to do something about the fact that nowhere in the past ten seasons had the Winchesters done anything on their own behalf, because they'd never been given story goals. All they'd been allowed to do is play whack-a-mole with monsters.

It's a mess all the way around, and it's almost impossible to resolve this late in the game. Season 15 couldn't be about the Winchesters resolving any real Stuff, because the show had long since realized that its prime directive was making sure that the fundamental pattern of the show remained intact: the boys go on adventures, bad things happen somewhere and the boys show up to stop it. And if that fundamental pattern is not a problem – if we're supposed to be glad it's there – then you can't allow any storylines that would end in changing it. Everything that's introduced has to be resolvable by a reversion to that vision of What We Do Around Here, so we can keep doing it. The legitimacy of What We Do Around Here is never allowed to be in question, and an attempt to question it at the very end of the series winds up inherently muddled and out-of-place. Third-act problems are always first-act problems, and the problem with the finale is that the show had spent so long actively reifying the value of an endless, unchanging sequence of events and actively working to quash anything that started looking like a linear story that would end in a place other than where it began.

I like a lot of the plotlines and episodes and characters in the later season. Honestly, 12 is probably my favorite season, just on the weight of good episodes I enjoy watching. But the only part of Supernatural that ever had a coherent story at the heart of it was the original five seasons, where things were set up, explored, and resolved in Swan Song with admirable narrative focus and direction. Everything after that was just stuff that happened, which is not what a story is, and you can't come back from that in the series finale and somehow make it work.

#spn finale #apparently i give writing advice now?

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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michaelmilligan · 3 years

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Destiel fix-it fic (post 15x19)

Okay so this is 1,8k of fix-it for that horrible shit we call an 'ending'. Yes, I am still not over the finale. No, I will not take criticism at this time. (I meant to work on a genderfluid Dean(na) fic which will likely have several parts, but this wouldn't leave my brain so here you go. No beta, just pure rage against the machine that churned out the finale.) (Also my first time adding a cut so if it doesn't work please tell me.)

Dean hadn't taken it well. Not that Sam could blame him. He himself was still struggling with everything that had happened. Chuck snapping everyone away, the fear and the desperation... But they won, and everyone was back. Well, everyone except Cas.

Dean had said “just us” and Sam had said the same and they had driven for a while and it had been good to be on the road, to finally be free. But at the end of the day, it wasn't just them, and that was good too. Great even. There were Jody and the girls. Eileen. Donna. Charlie and Stevie. Garth and his family. All these people they knew and loved, everyone they cared about. Everyone was safe. Everything was good.

Except for Cas.

It had taken a few days for it to really sink in for Sam that he was gone. After all, he hadn't been there when it had happened. Hell, Dean had never even really told him how it went down. But Dean's grief was undeniable, the way he drunk himself into oblivion, much like the last time they had lost Cas, when they had also lost their mom. Both losses had been temporary, but they hadn't known that at the time.

Now their mom was gone for good, up in Heaven and apparently happy. And Cas was gone too, probably in the Empty if he was dead. Sam missed him, of course he did. He was their best friend, the other father in their trio, however weird that sounded. Also Sam also missed Jack, not knowing if they would ever see him again, now that he was almighty and all that. But Sam handled it, he always handled it, and he had Eileen to keep him company, to hold him when he needed to cry.

Dean had noone, hadn't had anyone in years. Maybe he had never had anyone who would do that for him, and Sam was starting to worry about Dean's liver as well as his mental health. Not that any of them could be great in that department, but so far they had always been able to keep it together. Now Sam wasn't so sure.

As he walked into the kitchen, he half expected to find Dean slumped over, drooling onto the kitchen table with a half-full bottle of whiskey in his hand. Instead, the room was empty, no empty bottles in sight. Huh.

Sam set out in search for his brother, trying his room first but finding it just as empty. It took him several minutes before he ducked his head into the library, and finally saw Dean sitting at a table, several books open in front of him.

“Dean? What are you doing?”

Dean's shoulders tensed for a moment, but he didn't turn around.

“Research,” he said gruffly, sounding like he had woken up less than an hour ago.

“On what? You got a case?” Sam came into the room, looking over the books. He saw Enochian, an angel summoning spell, a dictionary... “What's this for?”

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line. “Cas,” he croaked out. “We've got to... there has to be a way.”

“Dean. I thought you said he was dead. You know we can't... There's no way to get him from the Empty.”

Dean gritted his teeth, looking like he was about to snap. “That dude almost got Lucifer out, but we can't get Cas back?” He sprang up, walking towards the nearest shelf just to stare at it.

“Dean. What even happened? How did... you never told me what happened,” Sam tried, hoping against hope that his brother wouldn't just clam up like every other goddamn time he tried to talk about something difficult.

“He... he just. Goddamnit, he said- He- he made a deal with the Empty and then-”

“Wait, what? The Empty was there? Why the hell would he make a-”

“No, I mean. Before. He made the deal to save Jack, back when... It agreed to take him instead of Jack, but only... only if... and he said...” Dean's shoulders were shaking as he leaned his forehead against the shelf. “He... he summoned it. The Empty. To take him away so it would take Billie too. And I... I couldn't do anything. There was... we had no weapons, nothing to fight the Empty, nothing to fight Billie and he...” Sam couldn't see his face, but he could hear the tears in his voice.

“Okay. Okay.” Sam let out a deep breath. It wasn't the first time one of them had sacrificed himself for the others. And like any other time, Dean couldn't let it go. Well, not that Sam had always been able to. “So you want to get him back. You think that's wise?”

Dean whirled to him, his eyes hard and full of tears. “What?”

“I'm just saying... Cas sacrificed himself to save you. And now you're going to endanger yourself to get him back, do you think that's really what he wants? And even if we had a way of getting to the Empty, who says that we're gonna be able to get Cas out, or that the Empty won't just snatch him again as soon as we're back on Earth?”

But Dean's face had completely shuttered closed. This was one of the times were no logical arguments would get through to him.

“I'll find a way,” he said, turning back to the shelf to sort through the books.

Sam sighed, and after watching his brother for a while, he left him to it, deciding to let him grieve in his own way.

It was about three days later when Sam heard a noise from the entrance. Frowning, he walked towards it, wondering if Dean had invited anyone. Eileen wasn't scheduled to come over, but maybe she had wanted to surprise him? He had told her not to come, didn't want her to see Dean like that, but then again when did she ever listen to him?

When he saw who was coming down the stairs from the entrance, Sam felt his eyes widen.

“Jack!”

The boy – God, whatever – smiled and raised his hand.

“Dean! Dean, Jack is here,” Sam called in the direction of the corrdor, then hurried over to him. He hesitated, not sure if you were supposed to hug the newly appointed God. But Jack was his son and he had missed him, so in the end he pulled him into a tight hug. Jack returned it, squeezing him and still smiling when they pulled apart.

Which was when Sam noticed the other figure coming down the stairs and he gasped. “Cas?” He looked at Jack, who just kept smiling, and Sam laughed and pulled Cas into a hug, too. Cas returned it, though a little more carefully than Jack, and his smile wasn't as bright. Maybe a little... shy? Embarrassed?

“Dean? Dean! It's- Dean, get your ass over here!” Sam called again, hardly believing their luck.

Dean jerked awake to a stiff neck and an aching back, hunched over on the library table, drool on a three-hundred year old book. He thought he'd heard Sam, calling for him, and he got up to walk out of the library in spite of his protesting body. “Sam?” he called as walked along the corridor, anxiety forming in his gut. What if something was wrong? What if they were under attack? What if the next big villain – whoever that might be after thee actual God – was here to get them? Or maybe just some regular monster, ready to tear them apart, taking them by surprise?

Dean pulled his gun and tread carefully, peering around each corner before rounding it. He heard voices from the entrance, and by the time he was almost at the door, he heard a laugh. It sounded like Sam... He still peeked around the door frame before getting in and saw Jack, just standing there, looking comfortable.

“Jack?” Dean made his way over to him quickly, not believing his eyes. “What are you- I thought you-”

“Dean!” Jack beamed at him and Dean couldn't not pull him into a hug.

“Hey, kiddo.”

“Hi.” Jack squeezed him tight.

When Dean looked towards Sam, he also saw... no. This wasn't possible, was it? Dean pulled back, eyes wide, just staring for a moment before he turned towards Jack. “You- how-”

“I know I said I'd be hands-off, but...” Jack shrugged, looking apologetic. “I didn't want to be.”

Dean let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, his eyes going back to Cas. His eyes were prickling, and he suddenly noticed how Cas evaded his eyes, peering up at him from beneath his eyelashes almost shyly.

“Thank you,” Dean said to Jack, aware of the tremor in his voice, and then he rushed towards Cas.

“You goddamn- fucking moron,” he hissed as he wrapped him in the tightest hug he might have ever given anyone. “Stupid fucking dumbass.”

“Uh,” Cas made, sounding insecure. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean gripped him the shoulders when he pulled back, then put his hands on Cas' face. “You fucking- what does that even mean, huh? 'It's in the just saying it'. What the fuck. What the actual fuck!”

Cas squinted at him, opened his mouth, closed it again.

“You-” Dean cut himself off, running out of words, so he kissed Cas instead. It was a rough kiss, and long, and Cas seemed to have trouble keeping up, his hands coming up to claw at the flannel on Dean's back.

Dean was vaguely aware of a gasp behind him, but he was still laser-focused on Cas, glaring daggers at him.

“You maybe wanna re-think that?” He shoved him.

“Uh, I- I do?” Cas said, still looking terribly confused, and Dean couldn't help but kiss him again, just as roughly at first but getting softer over time until they were just breathing each other's air.

“You fucking asshole. You could have said something sooner! Before you got your ass dragged to the-” Dean stopped, feeling his face going through several emotions at once.

Cas squinted at him. “So could you.”

Dean stared at him, hearing Jack say “What's wrong, Sam?”, and yet he still couldn't have cared less.

“Goddamnit, you're right, we're both dumbasses.” When Cas opened his mouth, he added: “No, Cas, 'trusting' really doesn't cut it here.”

Cas huffed out a laugh – and wasn't that a sight for sore eyes. Dean kissed him again, hearing Jack in the background: “Wait, is this something new? I always thought they were just not very public about it.”

Dean grinned against Cas' lips, and Cas smiled back as Dean pulled him into another hug.

Meanwhile, Jack was still talking: “You know what, I think they need a minute. And I want to eat Crunch Cookie Crunch. Do you still have any?”

#Destiel #Supernatural fanfiction #Destiel fanfic #How do you even tag #Deancas #deancas fanfiction #Finale fix-it #After this Jack tells them that he doesn't want to be God #'I'm three Dean. Three! I'm not even legally allowed to drive yet'#And Dean goes 'You're also not allowed to drive because you legally don't exist... but yeah okay I get it'#They find a way for Jack to give up his God mojo to power Heaven directly #And Jack comes back home #They live happily ever after #Noone dies or fucks off into the sunset #The End #Except of course it's not an end it's just the beginning of the rest of their lives #Quiet domestic lives #Occasional hunts or helping younger/less experienced hunters #But all in all just two guys being gay married raising a son together with their brother and his wife #Eileen is awesome and teaches Jack all manner of dangerous shit #Claire and Eileen hang out and she becomes a cool aunt #Jack and Claire are siblings (TM)#Anyway this is already too many tags you get the gist

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mattzerella-sticks · 4 years

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Sunrise (Dean/Cas coda to 15x19 “Inherit the Earth”, 1.7k)

(ao3 link)

Dean and Sam were free. Finally, unequivocally, free.

But this wasn't the happy ending Dean had expected. Maybe in the past, having Sam in the passenger seat tearing across an open stretch of highway as the sunsets, it'd be what he wanted. But that was years ago. He's not that man anymore. Dean's tired of sunsets, of saying goodbye. He yearns for a different ending. One that's less of an ending, and more of a beginning. A sunrise instead of a sunset.

Sam has his. Dean lost his. Despite this setback, he won't stop. He'll live in memory of his sunrise.

Except, what can he do when he feels those rays on his face again?

Early morning sunlight streams through half-closed motel window blinds, striking Dean directly on his face. Stir him from unconsciousness, shuffling Dean out of his dreams. Warm blue and familiar stubble replaced with an ugly, orange patterned wallpaper that makes his stomach unhappily flip. Groaning, he turns. Hopes he can reclaim his quickly fading fantasy. It escapes his grasp, Dean left in the loneliness of reality.

Truly. He checks Sam’s bed, finding it unoccupied. “Figures…”

They crossed paths with Eileen coincidentally. Not like Sam’s pointed questions and giant thumbs hid his intentions. Even his terrible acting (“Eileen? What are the odds of you being here?”) couldn’t throw him off. Dean played along, however, letting them think he was in the dark. Knew exactly why his brother and his brother’s girlfriend hadn’t told Dean about this. Salt only hurts a wound that’s fresh and open. While badly healed, Dean’s grown numb to that missing chunk of his heart. More pained that his sadness made his loved ones go behind his back, act in guilt.

Sam and Eileen don’t deserve shadows because of his pain.

Which is why he’s happy for them. Left the bar so they can chat without his presence. Catch up, let Sam tell her about those kitschy tourist traps they’ve been hopping between since Chuck’s defeat. Show pictures of Dean in an upside-down house, Sam’s head peeking out from corn fields. Hold hands. Sit on the same side of the booth. Kiss, without worrying if Dean is steadily killing his liver at the bar because of them.

Drinking lost its flavor anyhow.

Free from Chuck’s influences, Dean decided he might cut a few more strings. Namely beer. He’ll enjoy a bottle every now and then but, reflecting on it, booze never offered comfort he really needed. Only aggravated a different sort of hurt, distracting him for a while. He abandoned those distractions. Instead of asking their bartender from last night, with his tanned skin and wavy, blond hair, for whiskey, neat, until he dropped, Dean stood from their table and paid his tab. Carried his longing out the exit, drove with it, laid down in his bed and held it close. Hugged it, imagining his arms. Praise whispered in his ear, about choosing a different way. A better way. A healthier way.

Cas would be proud of him. Prouder than he already is. And Dean… felt the same.

Rising, Dean stretches. Winces as a new disc pops and cracks in his back, “Motels ain’t what they used to be…” He throws his legs over the side, scrunching his toes in the shag carpet. Smiling, “But at least some things’ll never change…”

It’s going to be a slow morning. Dean doubts Sam will swing by before noon, meaning he has hours to kill. First, he leisurely showers. Scrubs at his scalp with gentle scratches, humming Zeppelin under his breath. Keening ‘A Whole Lotta Love’s chorus, coming into his hand. Lets that melody fade while water makes his come sluice off his hand, into the drain. He switches tracks, dries himself while softly singing ‘Going to California’. Thinks about their next destination. All those beaches he and Sam plan on visiting. Finally making good on their promise.

Not how he always envisioned it, but…

Dean drapes the towel around his neck, staring at his reflection. Marks new wrinkles he hadn’t noticed, gray hairs where dirty blond were. Sees how small his eyebags shrank.

Sleeping was surprisingly easy. Some days Dean wished it weren’t. Others, it’s his only chance at being with him again.

“Nope,” he says, leaving the bathroom. Jumping out from the mirror. “Not going there… not this early…”

He bides his time dressing, debating where he should get breakfast. Wonders if a diner they passed entering town might serve pie as he hops into his jeans. Waffles between a t-shirt or purple-and-blue plaid while rubbing deodorant on. Then, tugging his tee’s thin fabric over his head, he decides he isn’t that hungry. Can eat later, Sam driving so he can attack snacks he squirrelled away when they last stopped for gas.

Knock Knock Knock

“Sam?” Dean asks, glancing at the door. No one answers. “Sam is that you? You forget your keys or…” He checks his phone. Nothing.

Knock Knock Knock

“Sam, if that’s you – this isn’t funny.” He grabs for his socks, sitting on the end of his bed. “Pulling a poor joke on your brother, leaving your girlfriend alone in bed… shame on you.”

Knock Knock Knock

Dean squeezes his socks, glaring at the door. His irritation fades, weirdly, the longer he stares. Replaced with a different feeling, comforting. Without needing to, Dean guesses it’s not Sam on that other side. Tossing his socks, Dean stands and slowly inches forward. Drawn by gravity, a name perched atop his tongue. Waiting there, scared of being spoken. Of being wrong. He doesn’t feel wrong.

Is this still a dream, he asks himself. Did I actually wake up? Dean waits, hovering near the doorknob. Remembers rushing last time, what waited there then. What he almost threw himself onto. Cycles through who might be waiting now. Something worse, a more terrifying monster. Or maybe mundane, like the motel manager. He’ll never know if he drags it out. Whether that’s motivation or warning, Dean can’t decide. What he does choose is flinging open that door and facing whoever was there.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas -?” Dean gasps, knees buckling. Laughing, he leans his weight on the door. Grins wide enough his cheeks must splinter, twin tracks of tears already spilled over. “Cas, is that…” He coughs, wiping at his mouth. “Is that really you?”

Like nothing happened, Cas crosses the threshold. Dressed spectacularly… normal. Trench coat, suit jacket, and white button-down paired with his crooked blue tie. Dean’s hand drifts close but can’t touch. Not yet. “It is me,” he tells Dean, “you… probably have a lot of questions. About why I’m here, and – and what was said when the Empty…”

Of course, there are questions. None were as important as Dean snatching Cas’s tie, dragging him into a heated embrace. “Later,” he promises, closing the door. Guiding Cas onto his bed. Falling, his angel’s body collapsing atop his. Weight proving further and further how real this is.

He’s back!

“I can’t believe…” Dean kisses along Cas’s neck, threading his fingers through hairs resting at his angel’s nape. Feeds a fire burning across his body, flames roaring with a desire for more. “Can’t believe I could be this lucky…”

Cas chuckles, “Good things do happen, Dean.”

“Never to us.” Pausing, Dean tears his eyes from the dip of Cas’s collarbone and to his face. “I searched, Cas. I did. Back when it was me, and Sam, and Jack, I did everything I could but I… there wasn’t any lore. Nothing about contacting the Empty, breaking through I – how?”

Shifting, Cas rolls off Dean and onto his side. No sooner than it started, those flames eating at Dean’s insides tempered. Became a more manageable heat, containable. Dean tucked himself against Cas’s chest, hearing his heartbeat. Awed from that simple rhythm it gives. Lulls Dean with a gentle song. “Jack,” Cas explains. Rubs Dean’s shoulder, along where his handprint was. Teased the edges of his tee, part of his memorial tattoo revealed. Cas traces his palm outline. “In fixing Chuck’s mistakes, he… he mounted a rescue mission from Heaven.”

“For you?”

“For everyone.” Cas kisses Dean’s crown, continuing his story. Whispers it into his head. “All the angels. Jack rescued us all.”

“Everyone?” Dean asks, “Meaning… Michael? Gabriel?”

“Uriel, Balthazar, Anna, Hannah, Metatron – even Lucifer.”

“What the hell?”

“He was fixing what Chuck wasted. Saved Heaven,” he says, “Gave everyone a second chance, to do right by humanity. Be its guardians like we were supposed to be. And…” Cas lays his hand where it belongs, Dean shivering from contact. Wraps his arms tighter around his angel’s waist. “Jack offered me all my powers back, and then some. Said I could be his archangel… second-in-command, in all of Heaven.”

Dean lifts his head, frowning. Studies Cas with a suspicious wrinkle creasing his brow. He deflates somewhat, disappointment rocking into him like heavy waves. Routine. Expected, since Cas was exactly where he wanted. But then, isn’t that answer enough? Dean asks regardless. “Did you take it?”

“I thanked him for the offer,” Cas says, “however my place was elsewhere, here on Earth… with you.” His hand moves, cupping Dean’s cheek. Thumb brushes his lip. “And when our time comes, I’ll rejoin Heaven at your side.”

Cas’s heartbeat makes sense, now. It never did that before.

“We’ve got a long time before we croak, Cas,” Dean jokes, crawling higher up his bed. Enough that he can press their foreheads together. “You think you can handle it?”

“I waited millennia to meet you, and then years just so I can hold you like this.” Cas closes the distance, capturing Dean’s lips. “I’m hoping our future is excruciatingly slow.”

“Our future…” He relaxes, allowing a few more kisses before he starts again. “Y’know, I… I thought I’d never get to say that. Figured, after Jack took the reigns from Chuck, this was all we’d get and – and having everyone back was nice. But you weren’t there, and I hurt. When you died, I wanted to sit there and let myself waste away and join you. Except if I did, you’d be so angry and – that’s what’s been keeping me going. You loved me so much – and were pained whenever I was… I couldn’t do that to myself. Punishing myself wouldn’t be fair. So I thought about my future, how I can live it for those I loved. Be there… the person I’ve become, and not who I used to be. But now…”

“Now you can be a little selfish,” Cas says. “We can be selfish.” He tickles Dean’s chin, hands roving across his body. “What should we do, for the first day of the rest of our lives?”

Dean doesn’t dawdle. “I want to lay here,” he says, “Lay here the whole day, in your arms, telling you how much I love you.”

“…I don’t see any problems with that.”

Neither did Dean, which is why he suggested it. They fix themselves, first. Cas sheds most of his outer layers, leaving himself only in his boxers. Dean hurls his jeans off fast, jumping under the covers. Giddy as Cas joins him, both men facing each other. Hands joined above their sheets, Cas’s palm fitting perfectly.

“Well?” Cas arches his brow, “How much do you love me?”

Dean kisses him, ruining it by smiling too hard. “I love you too much, and not enough.”

#supernatural #spn #spn15 #15x19 #15x19 inherit the earth #15x19 coda #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic

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lunmelia · 3 years

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A List of All of Dean Winchester’s Injuries

Yes. I did. I did go through every single episode of Supernatural and recorded every time Dean got injured. Do not question me, I know what I did, I had no one tell me ‘no’ so I did it, and now I’m done.

Now, this list might not be the most accurate. I did not sit down and watch every single episode in full, eyes glued to the screen for every time Dean got injured. I only skimmed. Here’s a gif I made to show how I did it:

(sorry it’s bad quality it’s the first gif I’ve ever made) I skimmed through the episode and used the little preview screen to look for any time there was fast movement, blood or a spell that might require someone cutting their palm. I also kept an eye out for angel-banishing sigils. Since I only skimmed, there’s a chance I missed some injuries or even times that Dean was magically healed. So again, might not be an accurate list but I did my best. Feel free to tell me anything I missed.

Here’s a key to help you through the list: - most of this lists the actual injury, e.g. “cut on left temple” but other times it’ll list an action that may cause injruy, e.g. “thrown into wall” - “thrown into/against” means that he impacted the object, but the object did not break / he did not go through it - “thrown through” means that the object broke on impact and he ended up on the other side - “internal pain” means that someone used magic to do something to him, but I have no idea what, all I know is that he looked in pain and was mostly gripping his stomach - “handcuffed” means actual handcuffs were used, “tied around wrists” means either rope or zip-ties were used - “punched” means just punched in the face, any other area on the body will be specified - any episodes that aren’t on the list means he wasn’t injured in them

Some misc notes: - I do not include any injuries that don’t actually happen, e.g. future visions, nightmares, hallucinations or a fake reality - I might be inconsistent with the amount of times I specify what was used to knock Dean out, and not listing what was used. Sorry about that. It’s because I either just couldn’t see the object, or I was lazy that day - I don’t usually specify the size of the injury either, I usually just say “cut”, sorry. I only realised like 6 seasons in that I probably should be specifying the size, and also taking screenshots, but I couldn’t be bothered going back and fixing it, nor could I be bothered specifying the size from then on. I’m sorry, it was just going to feel weird if 6 seasons in I only then start specifying - I don’t include possessions, but I do specify when injuries happen while possessed - I include some commentary of what kind of injuries I thought should’ve happened based on the action - There will also be a list for Sam’s injuries posted later, but there will not be one for Cas. Going into this, I only wanted to know Dean and Sam’s injuries for some redesigns I want to do, I didn’t feel it was necessary for me to know Cas’ because he won’t have scars in my redesign (at least his vessel won’t). Please don’t expect me to go back and make a list for Cas, this already took up so much of my time and I don’t want to do it again.

Let’s begin, shall we?

Season 1

1x1: Pilot - jumps off a bridge 1x2: W*ndigo - wrists tied above his head - cut on left side of forehead - cut on right cheek - cut on right side of neck 1x5: Bloody Mary - infected by Bloody Mary 1x6: Skin - tied to a chair around his chest, hips, wrists and ankles 1x10: Asylum - shot in the chest with rock salt - mind almost influenced by Ellicot, manages to burn the corpse before he can, but it did cause him pain 1x11: Scarecrow - knocked out with the butt of a gun - wrists tied up above his head 1x12: Faith - electrocuted, passes out - heart attack - heart is damaged (their words not mine) - healed by a reaper - life drained from him, process is stopped before completed 1x15: The Benders - cut above right eye - knocked unconscious with a pan - punched - burn on upper left pec 1x16: Shadow - cut on edge of right eyebrow - wrists tied - four claw marks down the left side of his forehead 1x18: Something Wicked - cut on left side of hairline 1x22: Devil’s Trap - thrown into a windshield - diagonal cut across his chest

Hey! Under the cut this post is really long!! Please be sure you want to read the rest before clicking because you’ll be scrolling for a while!

Season 2

2x1: In My Time of Dying - in a carcrash - vertical cut on right side of forehead - cut on right ear - cut on left cheek - bruised and cut knuckles - head truama - cut on left forearm 2x2: Everybody Love a Clown - punched 2x3: Bloodlust - punched - thrown into a table 2x7: The Usual Suspects - handcuffed 2x10: Hunted - knocked unconscious by the butt of a sniper rifle - tied around his wrists and ankles 2x12: Nightshifter - choked - punched 2x14: Born Under a Bad Sign - knocked unconscious with a gun - shot in the left shoulder - thrown against a wall - punched - cut above left eye 2x15: Tall Tales - thrown around - punched 2x16: Roadkill - cut along the right side of his jaw / cheek - thrown against a wall 2x19: Folsom Prison Blues - handcuffed on wrists and ankles - punched - cut on left cheek - hit in the gut 2x20: What is and What Should Never Be - strangled - put to sleep by a Djinn - wrists tied above his head - drained of his blood 2x22: All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2 - thrown into a gravestone - diagonal cut on the right side of his forehead

Season 3

3x1: The Magnificent Seven - hit in the face and stomach 3x2: The Kids are Alright - thrown around - punched - kneed - elbowed 3x3: Bad Day at Black Rock - stumbles and falls into a table - hit in the chin with gun 3x4: Sin City - thrown around - strangled 3x5: Bedtime Stories - strangled - thrown into a cabinet (probably has cuts since the cabinet had glass) - punched - cut on left side of his hairline 3x6: Red Sky At Morning - thrown into a gravestone 3x7: Fresh Blood - slash on inner left forearm - thrown into a wall - bit on the right side of his neck 3x8: A Very Supernatural Christmas - head banged against a wall and knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles - slash on inner left forearm - slash on inner right forearm - cut on right side of hairline - punched 3x9: Malleus Maleficarum - either hexed, sick by voodoo or a spell, they never really specify, but he vomits blood (healed by a potion) - thrown into a picture frame (likely bleeding at back of head) 3x12: Jus in Bello - handcuffed - shot in the left shoulder - punched - thrown against wall 3x13: Ghostfacers! - thrown around 3x14: Long-Distance Call - punched - cut on right eyebrow 3x15: Time is On My Side - thrown into a cabinet 3x16: No Rest for the Wicked - kneed - punched - cut above right eye - thrown onto a table - torn to shreds by a hellhound - (3 long slashes on left thigh) - (4 long slashes down chest) - (1 long slash from right shoulder to hip, back and front) - DEAD

Season 4

4x1: Lazarus Rising -(resurrected by Castiel, clean slate, no scars) - handprint burnt into his left shoulder - cut on inner left bicep - bruised and cut knuckles - bleeds out of his ears from Castiel trying to talk to him 4x2: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester - punched - kicked in the face - kicked in the gut - Victor’s ghost hand in his chest 4x3: In the Beginning - thrown into a wall - punched - kicked - thrown into a bookshelf 4x4: Metamorphosis - thrown against a wall - strangled - slammed into a table and knocked unconscious - cut above right eyebrow 4x5: Monster Movie - shoved into a wall - drugged - tied down in a metal contraption - punched 4x6: Yellow Fever - crashed into a shopping cart - infected by “ghost sickness” - three scratch marks on inner left forearm - punched - both inner forearms scratched up (disappears once the ghost is killed) 4x7: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester - internal pain - thrown into a wall 4x8: Wishful Thinking - super punched into some trash cans - possible broken knuckles - strangled 4x9: I Know What You Did Last Summer - shoved into a wall - punched - jumped out a window - dislocated shoulder - cut on outer right forearm - possibly some cuts along his torso - slash on outer left forearm 4x10: Heaven and Hell - punched - choked 4x11: Family Remains okay so I literally could not see a thing this episode, it was a very dark episode, but I think Dean got punched 4x12: Criss Angel is a Douche Bag - hung by his neck 4x14: Sex and Violence - infected by a siren - punched - thrown around - stabbed in the back of his right shoulder 4x15: Death Takes a Holiday - thrown into a gravestone and knocked out 4x16: On the Head of a Pin - punched - cut across nose - cut above left eye - strangled 4x17: It’s a Terrible Life - thrown into a shelf - thrown against a wall - cut on left side of hairline 4x18: The Monster at the End of This Book - hit by a car (he’s fine) 4x19: Jump The Shark - thrown through a glass door - punched 4x20: The Rupture - cut above left eyebrow - punched 4x21: When the Levee Breaks - punched - kneed - thrown face first into a mirror - thrown into a glass table - strangled 4x22: Lucifer Rising - punched Cas, hurt his knuckles

Season 5

5x1: Sympathy for the Devil - punched through wooden railing - kicked through a door - kneed - drew an angel banishing symbol so there is a cut either on his left forearm or left palm - stage 4 stomach cancer (healed) 5x2: Good God, Ya’ll! - kneed in the groin - punched 5x4: The End - knocked unconscious - handcuffed - punched 5x5: Fallen Idols - punched - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 5x6: I Believe The Children Are Our Future - thrown into a wall - strangled 5x7: The Curious Case of Dean Winchester - aged rapidly into an old man 5x8: Changing Channels - grabbed on right bicep with super strangth - shot in the back (possibly healed by Gabriel? they don’t specify what happened) - shoved into a door 5x9: The Real Ghostbusters - thrown against a wall - strangled 5x10: Abandon All Hope - punched into a tree - cut on edge of right eyebrow 5x11: Sam, Interrupted - thrown against a wall - punched 5x12: Swap Meat - thrown into a wall - thrown into a mirror 5x13: The Song Remains The Same - strangled - thrown through a window - knocked unconscious - thrown around 5x14: My Bloody Valentine - punches Cupid - thrown into a door - cut above left eyebrow 5x15: Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid - handcuffed 5x16: Dark Side of the Moon - shot in the chest - DEAD (resurrected by Joshua) 5x17: 99 Problems - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 5x18: Point of No Return - drew an angel-banishing sigil so he must have cut himself somewhere but it isn’t visible - shoved against wall - punched - kicked into chain-link fence - cut on left cheek - handcuffed - split lip - cut on his chin 5x19: Hammer of the Gods - thrown into a shelf 5x20: The Devil You Know - cut on left side of hairline - kicked 5x21: Two Minutes to Midnight - affected by pestilence (stopped later on) - faints - fingers stepped on, possibly broken - left palm burnt 5x22: Swan Song - thrown into windshield - punched - cut on right cheek - broken nose - cut above left eyebrow - (all healed by Cas)

Season 6

6x1: Exile on Main St - stabbed in the chest with a syringe - poisoned by Djinn 6x2: Two and a Half Men - thrown around - strangled and passes out 6x3: The Third Man - there’s an angel banishing sigil that I’m assuming he drew, so there might be a cut on one of his forearms or palms 6x5: Live Free or Twihard - thrown into a dumpster - punched - forced to drink blood of vampire - passes out - cured of vampirism 6x6: You Can’t Handle The Truth - knocked unconscious - tied by his wrists 6x9: Clap Your Hands If You Believe - abducted by fairies (don’t know if he was knocked out or if something else happened) - punched - handcuffed - thrown into iron bars - cut by right eye 6x10: Caged Heart - knocked unconscious 6x11: Appointment in Samarra - DEAD (brought back by Dr. Robert and Eva) 6x13: Unforgiven - tied up with webs - strangled 6x15: The French Mistake - thrown through a window - punched - internal pain 6x16: ... And Then There Were None - infected with the khan worm - electrocuted on his left outer forearm, leaves a horizontal burn mark 6x18: Frontierland - jumps through a window 6x19: Mommy Dearest - bit on the lower left side of his neck, near the nape (healed by Cas) 6x20: The Man Who Would Be King - punched 6x21: Let It Bleed - thrown into a car - strangled - punched 6x22: The Man Who Knew Too Much - in the impala when it’s flipped over - thrown over stairs and impacts onto a metal table (that honestly should have straight up broken his back)

Season 7

7x1: Meet the New Boss - horizontal cut on right forearm - thrown into a metal table and glass jars 7x2: Hello, Cruel World - left palm cut, maybe back of hand - broken right leg 7x3: The Girl Next Door - cut on left eyebrow - cut on left ear 7x4: Defending Your Life - possibly knocked unconscious - chained to a chair 7x5: Shut Up, Dr. Phil - thrown through a glass door - punched 7x6: Slash Fiction - handcuffed - thrown into a trophy cabinet 7x7: The Mentalists - window exploded next to him (he should earn some cuts from that) - punched 7x8: Season 7, Time for a Wedding! - thrown into a column - strangled 7x9: How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters - poisoned by goo (nothing serious, he’s just unconcerned with everything for a bit) 7x11: Adventures In Babysitting - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - strangled 7x12: Time After Time - handcuffed - punched - strangled 7x15: Repo Man - stabbed with a syringe on the right side of his neck - tied around his wrists - vertical cut on his left outer forearm 7x16: Out With the Old - kicked in the face - thrown into a glass cabinet - thrown into a table with glass on it - thrown through a glass door 7x17: The Born-Again Identity - head banged against glass - thrown into a shelf 7x20: The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragon Tattoo - somersaulted through glass 7x21: Reading is Fundamental - drew an angel-banishing sigil, so there is a cut on one of his forearms or palms 7x22: There Will Be Blood - cut on left palm - thrown around

Season 8

8x1: We Need to Talk About Kevin - horizontal cut on his left outer forearm - horizontal cut on his left inner forearm - honestly cannot tell what’s meant to be his injury and what’s meant to be someone else’s blood. He might have cuts on his ears, head and neck, right cheek, and nose. Maybe along his chin and jaw too - bruised and cut knuckles - strangled 8x2: What’s Up, Tiger Mommy? - cuts around his right eye - cut on his upper lip - thrown into a wall 8x3: Heartache - punched - slammed onto his back - five holes in chest from fingers 8x4: Bitten - thrown into a wall 8x5: Blood Brother - cut on his left cheek, though I’m not sure if it’s new or from the last Purgatory flashback 8x6: Southern Comfort - punched - strangled - thrown into a table - infected by a coin? I’m not completely 100% sure what happened there - thrown into glass 8x7: A Little Slice of Kevin - horizontal cut on left inner forearm - rolled down a hill - thrown into some chains 8x8: Hunteri Heroici - hard impact on floor - hit in the face with a pan 8x9: Citizen Fang - punched - handcuffed - cut above right eyebrow - thrown into some wood planks - slice on the left side of his neck 8x10: Torn and Frayed - threw himself against a door multiple times - thrown against a window - strangled 8x12: As Time Goes By - handcuffed 8x13: Everybody Hates Hitler - thrown into a car - punched 8x14: Trial and Error - possible claw marks on left side, he puts his hand there but injury isn’t visible and not treated after 8x15: Man’s Best Friend With Benefits - thrown into a bedside table and knocked unconscious - thrown into a painting and tables 8x16: Remember the Titans - tripped and tossed onto the ground - flung back against ground - thrown against column 8x17: Goodbye Stranger - thrown into a wall - either broken or twisted right arm - punched - cut on left eyebrow - cut on bottom lip - cut on left cheek - cut near centre of forehead - cut on left temple - cut on nose, nose also probably broken - (all healed by Cas) 8x19: Taxi Driver - thrown into a tree 8x23: Sacrifice - handcuffed

Season 9

9x1: I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here - head banged against boot of impala - windows exploded around him, might earn him a few cuts - strangled - cut on left side of hairline - cut on left eyebrow - cut below left eye - possible cut below lip, can’t tell if it’s meant to be a cut or if it’s just a lot of blood - either a cut on his left ear or his ears bled from the sound of angels - possibly went unconscious for a second - two cuts on right cheek - cut near his left temple 9x2: Devil May Care - punched - arm twisted - thrown through a window 9x3: I’m No Angel - thrown into a counter and hits a trashcan when he falls off 9x4: Slumber Party - punched across room - kicked in groin while possessed by a witch 9x5: Dog Dean Afternoon - punched - kneed - elbowed - tied around wrists 9x6: Heaven Can’t Wait - thrown against a wall 9x7: Bad Boys - thrown against a wall - choked - thrown into a table - handcuffed 9x8: Rock and a Hard Place - enveloped by blue flame - thrown through table and knocked unconscious 9x9: Road Trip - punched unconscious - thrown against column 9x10: Road Trip - thrown into a bookshelf 9x11: First Born - thrown onto a table x2 - kneed - punched in the chest - shoved into a shelf, counter and wall - Mark of Cain transferred over to him 9x13: The Purge - passes out 9x14: Captives - knocked unconscious - cut on left eyebrow - tied around his wrists - cut on right side of neck, under jaw 9x15: #THINMAN - tasered unconscious - handcuffed 9x18: Meta Fiction - cut up knuckles 9x19: Alex Annie Alexis Ann - knocked unconscious with a piece of wood - punched through a chair 9x21: King of the Damned - thrown into a glass frame painting 9x22: Stairway to Heaven - handcuffed - punched 9x23: Do You Believe in Miracles - vomiting / coughing up blood - thrown into a concrete wall x2 - kicked in the face - crushed wrist - cuts along hairline - cut on right eyebrow - cut on left cheek - stabbed in the centre of chest with angel blade - cuts on chin - possible split lip - cut above left eyebrow - DEAD (wakes up as a demon)

Season 10

10x2: Reichenbach - cut on left palm (heals itself) - cut on left cheek (heals itself) - handcuffed 10x3: Soul Survivor - tied around ankles (still handcuffed) - needle in right inner forearm x 4 - needle in back of neck 10x4: Paper Moon - hit on the back of head with gun - punched 10x5: Fan Fiction - thrown into a wooden set piece - backhanded a few feet 10x6: Ask Jeeves - thrown into a bedside table and lamp - hit shoulders against doors multiple times 10x7: Girls, Girls, Girls - punched - hit in the face with a gun - hit in the gut - cut on left cheek - cut on left eyebrow - cut on right side of cheek 10x8: Hibbing 911 - knocked unconscious - tied around wrists - punched 10x9: The Things We Left Behind - bottle smashed over his head - cut on left side of head - kicked in the face 10x10: The Hunter Games - bruised and cut knuckles 10x11: There’s No Place Like Home - strangled - punched - kicked - kneed - thrown - cut across nose - cut on right eyebrow - bruised and cut knuckles 10x12: About a Boy - strangled - elbowed - hit repeatedly against tiled floor and fridge 10x13: Half & Catch Fire - thrown into a brick column - thrown through a door and into a shelf - strangled 10x14: The Executioner’s Song - hit in the right side - thrown around - punched - thrown through a window - lots of small cuts around right eye - strangled - split lip 10x15: The Things They Carried - thrown onto a table and into the edge of a fireplace - tackled into a table 10x16: Paint it Black - backhanded across a room - strangled 10x17: Inside Man - hit in the back - tackled into a wood column - tackled onto a pool table - strangled - punched 10x18: Book of the Damned - tackled by someone who just jumped through a window - punched 10x19: The Werther Project - cut on right side of hairline - possibly a cut or two on or behind right ear - cut on left side of hairline - bruised and cut knuckles - tied to a chair by wrists, middle and ankles - horizontal cut on right forearm 10x20: Angel Heart - kicked - punched 10x21: Dark Dynasty - kicked in the back - strangled - thrown into a dumpster 10x22: The Prisoner - handcuffed - plastic bag over head, suffocated - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles - maybe some cuts on his head, arms and knuckles but honestly I think all the blood on him belongs to others, I don’t think he was injured at all while killing the Stynes 10x23: Brother’s Keeper - punches a mirror - cut on left palm - punched - struck by lightning that removes the Mark of Cain

Season 11

11x1: Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire - pushed to the ground 11x2: Form and Void - headbutted - thrown through a door and into a wall 11x3: The Bad Seed - thrown into a concrete wall - thrown through wood pallets - thrown into a chain-link fence - punched - cut above and below left eyebrow - split lip 11x4: Baby - punched - strangled - cut above left eye - two cuts below left eye - handcuffed - three cuts on right cheek, close to jaw - cuts worsened from the impala crashing - cut on or behind right ear - shoved against impala - bit on left side of neck - cut on right temple - cut on nose - cut below lip - (all is hinted to be healed by Cas later on) 11x5: Thin Lizzie - knocked unconscious - cut on left side of hairline - tied around wrists - hit in head by gun 11x6: Our Little World - thrown through a mirror - thrown against stone pillar - thrown against wall 11x7: Push - face smashed against bars - thrown against desk - thrown through glass door - strangled 11x8: My Imagination - tied around his wrists - cut on left cheek - cut on left ear 11x10: The Devil in the Details - vomited - kicked - strangled - cut above and below left eye 11x11: Into the Mystic - eyes and ears bleeding from Banshee’s screech - head bashed into wooden column multiple times - cut on right side of hairline 11x13: Love Hurts - target of the “Kiss of Death” curse - wrist either broken or twisted 11x14: The Vessel - head banged on table - thrown onto table and lands on floor - shoved against stone column 11x15: Beyond the Mat - thrown against a metal beam - thrown through a door and into a wall - thrown down onto concrete ground - punched - tied around wrists 11x16: Safe House - hit by something and impacts the ground - knocked unconscious - cut on left palm - punched (while possessed by Soul Eater) - elbowed (while possessed) - thrown into table (while possessed) - chair smashed over him and knocked unconscious (while possessed) 11x17: Red Meat - punched - tasered unconscious - skid marks around left eye - broken ribs - overdoses on barbiturates (resuscitated) - handcuffed - strangled 11x18: Hell’s Angel - either internal pain or choked 11x19: The Chitters - punched 11x22: We Happy Few - thrown against a metal... cage, thing (I don’t know what it’s called) 11x23: Alpha and Omega - absorbs a couple hundred thousand souls that are later extracted by God

Season 12

12x1: Keep Calm and Carry On - arm pulled - foot pressed against throat - arm twisted - punched - knuckles punched with brass knuckles - thrown into car 12x2: Mamma Mia - handcuffed - hung by his wrists - punched with brass knuckles - cuts behind left ear - punched - (possibly healed by Cas seeing as he’s completely fine in the next shot) 12x3: The Foundry - throws himself against a door multiple times - elbowed in the face - choked - almost frozen - thrown against wall 12x5: The One You’ve Been Waiting For - tackled into a metal cabinet - punched - headbutted - thrown through a window 12x6: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox - thrown into a table - thrown through a glass door 12x7: Rock Never Dies - thrown off a stage 12x8: LOTUS - handcuffed around wrists and ankles 12x9: First Blood - DEAD (ressurected by Billie) - cut on left palm 12x10: Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets - momentarily blinded - thrown into a wall x2 - right palm cut 12x11: Regarding Dean - blasted with a spell and knocked out - gradually loses his memory (restored by Rowena) 12x12: Stuck in the Middle (With You) - elbowed in the face - flung backwards - hit in gut with base of spear - headbutted - hit in the face with base of spear 12x16: Ladies Drink Free - shoved into a shelf 12x17: The British Invasion - flung back and hard impact on ground - thrown into big wheel 12x18: The Memory Remains - fell off railing and onto floor, knocked unconscious - cut behind right ear - wrists tied - head hit onto tiled wall 12x19: The Future - broken arm (healed by Cas) - elbowed in face 12x20: Twigs & Twine & Tasha Banes - internal pain 12x21: There’s Something About Mary - kneed in the groin 12x22: Who We Are - stone dust in eyes - really bad gash in left knee - sedated (needle in left side of neck) - thrown into bookshelf - punched - injured leg kicked - elbowed in face - cut on right cheek - cut on left earlobe - injured leg hit with a piece of wood - hit with piece of wood - strangled with a piece of wood 12x23: All Along the Watchtower - previous injuries healed by Cas - hit in the face with gun - punched - kicked

Season 13

13x1: Lost and Found - thrown into a wall and knocked unconscious - cut on lower lip - cut knuckles from punching wood sign - handcuffed - punched - hit in the face with base of angel blade - punched in side - kicked into desk - headbutted 13x2: The Rising Sun - punched in the back and face - shoved into table - tackled through wood room divider - choked 13x4: The Big Empty - knocked unconscious x2 - handcuffed - hit in the face with gun - cut on left cheek 13x5: Advanced Thanatology - thrown into chain-link fence - kills himself (resurrected by Billie) 13x6: Tombstone - thrown back into trolley 13x7: War of the Worlds - punched - strangled 13x8: The Scorpion and the Frog - middle finger pricked 13x9: The Bad Place - headbutted 13x10: Wayward Sisters - hit in the face with base of spear and knocked unconscious - tied around wrists 13x12: Various & Sundry Villains - hexed with love spell - hexed to stay in one spot - thrown into wall - thrown into glass frame picture - strangled - hammer to the back of left knee 13x13: Devil’s Bargain - thrown through door and into wall - internal pain 13x14: Good Intentions - kicked by big strong man - choked 13x15: A Most Holy Man - handcuffed 13x17: The Thing - shoved into wall - strangled - knocked unconscious - tied down to a table by wrists and ankles 13x18: Bring ‘em Back Alive - shot in the right shoulder - poisoned by bullet (antidote applied by Ketch) 13x19: Funeralia - hit in neck / face not sure which one - punched - cut on left cheek - strangled - elbowed in face - punched in gut - thrown into table - headbutted - thrown around - kneed - cut on left side of forehead - right side as well - cut on nose - bruised and cut knuckles 13x20: Unfinished Business - whipped - super slapped by Loki - punched in gut - punched 13x23: Let the Good Times Roll - windows exploded near him - arm twisted and punched - strangled - cut on bottom lip - elbowed in the face - hard impact onto ground - punched in the gut and face (while Michael possessed him)

Season 14

14x3: The Scar - hit in the face with hilt and base of spear - tackled into wood column - headbutted - kicked in the face - punched - strangled 14x4: Mint Condition - headbutted - thrown into morgue drawers - strangled 14x5: Nightmare Logic - thrown across room - strangled 14x6: Optimism - tackled into bookshelf 14x9: The Spear - elbowed in face - punched in gut - kicked - strangled 14x11: Damaged Goods - hard impact against floor 14x13: Lebanon - either jumped back and hit the wall or he was thrown back by the force of the fire - elbowed in the face x2 - kicked - headbutted - thrown onto counter and hits ground - super backhanded - punched - thrown into shelf with glass cups - strangled - cut on bottom lip 14x14: Ouroboros - backhanded - face slammed into wood pillar two times and knocked unconscious - cut on right temple - not able to breathe - temporarily blind - internal pain 14x20: Moriah - thrown into bookshelf - thrown through gravestone

Season 15

15x1: Back To The Future - thrown against dumpster 15x2: Raising Hell - thrown through shelf 15x5: Proverbs 17:3 - shoved against wall - strangled - thrown back - cut on left cheek - cut on right cheek - cut on left side of torso - cut on either right side of torso or front of right thigh 15x6: Golden Time - thrown across hallway and into wall - internal pain 15x7: Last Call - knocked unconscious - tied to a chair by wrists and ankles - blood being drained from left arm - punched in side - punched - bottle smashed over head - cut on left eyebrow - hit with pool stick 15x8: Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven - cut on left palm (healed by Cas) - punched - kneed - thrown - strangled 15x9: The Trap - knocked unconscious - super backhanded by God 15x10: The Heroes’ Journey - kneed in the groin - headbutted - strangled 15x12: Galaxy Brain - hit on wrists and face with stick - strangled 15x14: Last Holiday - thrown back - hard impact on ground - thrown back into wall 15x16: Drag Me Away (From You) - slammed onto ground and strangled 15x18: Despair - thrown into wall x3 - elbowed in the face - thrown back - pain in heart 15x19: Inherit the Earth - headbutted - thrown into wall - thrown back across beach - internal pain - punched - kicked - broken right arm - broken right leg - two cuts beside left eye - cut on nose - cut on bottom lip - cut above left eye - (all healed by Jack) 15x20: Carry On - slammed to ground - impaled on a piece of broken rebar - DEAD (permanently)

#I'll upload Sam's list tomorrow I'm going to SLEEP #spn #supernatural #spn ref #supernatural ref #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester ref #blood tw #blood mention #Jensen Ackles #long post

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lovvedaggers · 3 years

Text

What Should’ve been: A resume for my episodes 19 and 20

I may write and put it on AO3 but I needed to get the plot points out of my head first.

Episode 19

- Same first scene where Dean tells Sam and Jack what happened to Cas.

- Jack praying to Cas as it was.

- Sam and Dean convo and reaction to Jack's new power.

- They talk to Jack about it and actually Confort him bc he. Is. A. Kid.

- Same conversation with Chuck.

- Time passes. Sam and Dean are show with their terrible coping skills.

- Jack senses a presence.

- They meet Michael at the Church; He agrees to help.

- Michael tries to open the book; It doesn't work.

- Brother moment where Sam talks about Eileen and Dean talks about what Cas did for him and how guilty he feels.They confort each other.

[No Lucifer. The show passed the need for Lucifer]

- Convo between Michael and Jack; Michael senses Jack's powers and talks about how he's nothing like his sperm donor, Lucifer; Jack says Michael is very different from the AU one; Michael says it's because of Adam that he learned to love and understand humanity.

- They both try to open the book and it works; Same scene of Sam talking about a spell. [because, y’a know, God is watching]

- Confront with Chuck; The spell doesn't work; Jack is throw back; Michael steps in and reaffirms his position to protect humanity; Chuck defeats him but doesn't kill.

- Same scene of Sam and Dean getting beat up but still standing. [That was good]

- Jack pulls an Avatar with Chuck and turns him human.

- The boys saying they're not killers and that Chuck will live and die like any other person.

[No flashback to explain resolution. This is not CSI]

- Jack brings everyone back; Shots of the characters that vanished in 18.

[Not hard to do even in Covid world just use the same shot from 18 from a different angle I know they have]

- Adam is show to have returned to his body.

- Sam questions Jack about Amara; He says she's with him and when everything is fixed in heaven they'll split again but balance will be mantained.

[Because they are individuals and deserve to be independent of each other]

- Dean questions if Jack will go back home with them; Jack says it will take a little while before he can return home; He states Michael will help him reestructure Heaven.

- Eileen calls Sam; He backs away to answer.

- Dean asks Jack to bring Cas back; Jack says he can't interfere with the Empty's domain directly but Dean can. Jack says for Dean to go home and wait in the room Cas was taken.

- Sam returns to the scene; They say goodbaye and thanks to Michael and Adam; They hug Jack and they both disappear.

- Cut to the bunker. Dean kept miracle and it’s been days since Jack left. Sam and Eileen are shown together while Dean keeps waiting in the dungeon.

- Sam reassures him they’ll get Cas back; They share a beer by the table in the Library. [End of Episode]

EPISODE 20

- Opening with Dean and Miracle; Sam doing laundry, etc.

- Dean piling up book after book to find something to help Cas; Sam is concerned and tries to talk Dean in working on a case Donna called them for.

- Dean says he doesn’t feel free bc Cas is dead bc of him; Says he even went to hell for Rowena’s help but she couldn’t do anything either. Sam says Jack will come through with his promise and the least they can do is help someone rn. Dean finally agrees.

- People are disappering without a trace.

- They follow one that seems sketchy to a barn where are people dressed in black, their faces covered in black goo. It’s the Empty controlling vessels.

- Sam and Dean are discovered. They try to fight but it’s in vain. The Empty taunts Dean about Cas, saying he’s suffering bc of him.

- A blinding light cuts the darkness. It’s Jack, acompanied by two angels; The black goo vanishes and Jack transports them back to the bunker, in the dungeon.

- They question him and Jack explains that they needed to summon the Shadow away from it’s domain so it would get weaker; He says Michael and Amara are holding the Shadow as long as they can.

- Jack says it will be dangerous but he can get them in; They agree in silent looks.

- The Empty is loud; Without the Shadow, angels and demons are screaming in agony, some awake, some not.

- Dean calls for Cas as Jack focuses to find him; They find Castiel but he’s still asleep, relieving his regrets.

- Dean asks if Jack can wake him; Jack explains that, given his new role, he’s interfering too much alredy; It has to be Dean.

- Angels and demons start to rise up; Jack puts a barrier to stop them but he gets weaker by the minute; He creates a gun and handles to Sam.

- The bullets are made of angel blades. It’ll keep them away for a time like salt keeps away ghosts.

- Jack touches Dean and Cas’ foreheads and links Dean to Castiel’s subconcious.

- Dean can see his worst memories: the times he let them down, his betrayal, the lobotomies, etc.

- He finds Cas chained, much like Dean in Hell; Cas doen’t believe it’s him. Dean says he’s real. They are real.

- Shot of Sam shooting some people; The Shadow comes back and threatens them.

- Dean’s confession ensues. [everything i could write it now wouldn’t do it justice]

- Shot of their hands clasped; Dean pulls him out of the chains.

- They awake and Jack zaps them away before the Shadow can strike; Back to the bunker, Dean and Cas are still holding hands.

- Jack says the Empty will never stop coming after Cas and gives him the choice to become human.

- Cas says nothing and Dean backs away. Sam hugs Cas.

- Convo between Cas and Jack; Cas says he doesn’t want Jack to be alone. Jack says he never will be and that Cas is needed more on earth than heaven - cuts to Dean- Cas nods and hugs Jack.

- One last scene between Jack and his dads; He says Amara and Michael are running Heaven pretty well and that all souls are now together in a new eternety, free of ilusion. Jack says he will pop in from time to time to see them.

- Jack leaves; Dean asks Cas why he didn’t go too. Cas said that Jack told him he was needed here. Was Jack wrong? Dean just hugs him.

- Fast foward to Sam and Eileen saying goodbye to Dean and Cas.

- Jack monologuing about his family; shots of Sam and Eileen leading the new Men of Letters; Their kids running around in the bunker, carving their names on the table too. [a boy and a girl bc Sam deserves to have a cute little girl]

- Dean and Cas (now human) running a bar where hunters pass by, living their best lives.

- Jack saying family doesn’t end in blood but it doesn’t start there either; Shots of their extended family: Jody, Donna, the wayward girls, Charlie, Rowena, etc. Even past characters for dramatic intent.

- Ending shot of the sunset as the impala drives away.

#I'll need some time before writing I need to finish college essays first #destiel #saileen #supernatural

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laora-inn · 4 years

Text

Supernatural - 15x19. Why it’s a good ep considering Destiel

As all of my SPN metas, it’s Destiel positive and happy end positive, don’t like - don’t read.

I wasn’t disappointed of this ep’s outgoing, in fact, I’ve been waiting for something like that. Here in September I wrote my specs for the last 7 eps, and for 15x19 there was one: “they will not talk about Cas’s saving. And he will be dead in this episode for sure”. I was especially sure about this spec after 15x18. ‘Cause THE INTRIGUE guys.

There is no intrigue at all - only Cas’s returning/saving in 15x20 could SAVE THE SHOW. Other way - it’s never too late to rebel :) Though I don’t think it will be necessary, not in this case. So I liked the 15x19 outcome and my hopes for the DeanCas happy end are strong as ever. 15x19 made them stronger.

I liked a lot of things in the ep - so, so many of them. Jack and Dean’s grieving. Blood mark on Dean’s jacket. Sam and Dean’s readiness to surrender. Dean’s demand for Chuck, to return Cas - though ONLY CAS AND DEAN THEMSELVES COULD DO IT. Luci’s comeback as a fact - I speculated about it a bit here, though I thought more of Nick calling to Luci. But Nick was also Chuck’s puppet, why not? Luci’s playing Cas - “let me in”. We saw Dean’s weakness, so clear that it hurts and could be even uncomfortable to watch. We ALL understood that was a coy the moment Luci called I suppose - but not Dean. And THIS FACT alone is nice - not the details though. Michael’s tragedy, though hidden and not well-played - but it was there. Chuck’s inability to love. The whole metaness of his character - “I’m cancelling your show” again. His death wish. Sam and Dean’s revenge neglect. “That’s not who I am. That’s not who we are”. Chuck as a human, without his strength. It’s strange, but I think he could be happy now! If he’ll change something in himself, of course. Chuck’s empty Book of Death. His book is empty now, there will be no new Death... and he can start from the beginning. He can write his own story now and be redeemed - despite all the things he had done. It’s a new page for him as well. Chuck finally could be free himself. The way Jack became the new Almighty AFTER exploding in the Empty. THE EMPTY IS THE ONE THAT GAVE HIM THE STRENGTH, it’s not the enemy. I wrote about it here. Amara’s mentioning - and it was Sam who asked about her, she was important for both Sam and Dean all the way. Beautiful acting - they certainly did their best with the script given.

The way how the children should be free of their parents - Michael and Luci from Chuck, Sam and Dean from Chuck - and their dad, his name even wasn’t curved on the table by the end of the ep and despite the kind words to John in 14x13 we saw in 15x16 and 15x17 how destructive was John’s impact on Dean - not at Sam, ‘cause Dean was protecting Sam all along. Jack from Sam and Dean - this freedom is blurred though ‘cause of Cas’s absence in the episode structure. But his freedom is a good thing itself - for Jack it’s impossible to be a human, Kelly believed that. Cas believed that. Cas saw paradise on earth - so Jack’s chosen fate was in being a Child who is everywhere, in all of us, who doesn’t play with us, but lets us act ourselves. He isn’t the God as we understand him in strict norms, he isn’t cruel and abusive. And he should be free of any expectations from Sam and Dean - Cas said it in 15x18 to him. Jack is a grown-up in his own manner. He is independent now, and that’s a good thing.

Also, there is a promise in these shots:

We see these shots 3 times - before Jack returns all the humans, in the process of returning (see the girl whose bike was abandoned at the road at the end of 15x18 and at 15x19 beginning?) and when he talks about him being everywhere. One More. The One. Is Jack the One now? Is he the one more One? Is it ONE MORE EPISODE? One more story? One more thing? One more... You can continue the thought if you want. All I want to say - these shots are visually important and I find them hopeful :)

I liked Sam and Dean in the end. I’m a Destiel shipper but I’ve never hated Sam and Sam and Dean’s relationship. I just think it’s not good for this relationship to be romantic - it’s not good for both of Sam and Dean. But I respect them and their bond and don’t see anything bad for DeanCas ship in it. In fact, it’s quite the opposite - Sam was helping both Cas and Dean all the time. I’m afraid of thinking what will happen without him. Nothing good I suppose. I liked the way this scene was filmed. It’s also hopeful for me - though the double reading here is possible. But I think “just us” is not the end. I liked the names curved on the table as the fact. Now it’s confirmed - they ARE a family. All of them.

I liked the choice of the song - Running on Empty. Wow. Symbolically - ‘cause the Empty in the story is the separate character AND the place, you know. I liked a clip-show at the end. It’s nostalgic and sweet, and it has Cas in it - he IS the part of that, not only as Dean’s love interest, hey. He has his own party. Here the story of blood ends. What’s next?

We’ll wait and see.

And now - some things in 15x19 which left me disappointed.

I must confess that I’ve always loved SPN myth-arcs and wasn’t noticing Destiel as a thing for a while because my interests weren’t in the field of shipping. This show wasn’t about shipping for me - and the weirdest, it isn’t about shipping for me now. It’s a DAMN GOOD STORY WITH THE SENSE. And the sense is love. Yep.

So this episode didn’t do well with the myth-arc.

You see, I kinda enjoyed some of Buckleming eps. For instance, 15x13 - I love it, and there are some more. I’ve even appreciated their lack of subtext, parallels, allusions sometimes. They could be very specific. One more example - when Dean in 11x03 cupped Cas’s face, it was very easy to understand the ROMANTIC nature of their relationship and stuff.

But this ep?!

Pandemic situation added some stress I suppose. Nevertheless, all the story with Lucifer and Michael is just catastrophic. The only strong part was Lucifer telling Michael how Chuck can’t love - and the fact that his words were confirmed by the plot, and Chuck’s inability to love finally ended him. We’ve known that. We’ve predicted that. I’ve written about it here.

“You’ve killed your own son” (c) Dean, who didn’t do that.

But the rest part of this story---ugh. Killing Luci so easily? Michael is so plain as a character? Are you f*cking kidding me?!! Even AU!Michael was more interesting, I swear. I had a feeling that I myself could write this part of story better. And it’s not about lack of Cas as Dean’s love interest or hope for his returning, or for DeanCas whatever, I’m pretty sure we will get all of that. It’s about the myth-arc only! One of the main ones from season 4!

All this epic story of Luci and Mike could be done much more better. Like WAY MORE BETTER. With the same convo, you know,with the same outcome, which is absolutely correct - we are not supposed to serve our parents. But different details, WTF! And that’s my main point here.

There are some other things that I’m disappointed about, though less: 1) Betty the Reaper was a total WTF either despite of her eager lines. 2) I need more explanations about how exactly Jack gained his new power, how is he reunited with Amara, how he returned all the people BUT NOT Donna, Bobbie, Charlie, Jody, Eileen, Cas - not the people HE cares about. Or they are not important for him now? This thing could be resolved in 15x20 though. 3) I didn’t like physical violence from Chuck. A) I have some doubts if he can properly do it, he like to watch. What’s changed? I’m not convinced. B) I felt physical pain from that scene. It was awful. It all could be showed for us in a different way, but they didn’t want that. 4) I didn’t like how Chuck’s mind changes every second. I don’t kill you, I don’t care about you, you’ll live and suffer, no, I’ll kill you. It could be written more properly, but hey. This part is much more harder to fix that Luci and Mike’s. 5) I didn’t like the dog move. Like AT ALL. I loved Jensen’s kind voice and his acting, but: A) all these doggy parallels are not for me, I didn’t like how Cas was called a dog before - in Buckleming eps specifically (and that terrible parallel in 8x15!), but not only there. I didn’t like when Atropos called Sam and Dean Cas’s pets either. Not my kink, sorry - and it’s JUST TOO THICK; B) it’s classic move. So classic that it’s dumb! The Bad Guy always hurts some cute pets. Kitties, doggies, birds whatever. That’s how we are supposed to understand that he is Bad. Hey, we all know that Chuck is bad. Why to add something? To mess with Destihellers? Not helping here. 6) The moment with Luci instead of Cas (for Dean, for Jack) could be less “haha gays” and more proper either I guess. It feels more like a mocking to me the way it is, whether the idea was good. Luci played Cas for Dean before (11x11, 11x14), as he played Jess for Sam and Sarah for Nick, and he played a father for Jack. He was in his place there - a mock from Chuck. But you can’t blame Chuck on the poor writing ALL THE TIME. 7) Also the music. It just didn’t feel right.

8) The end for Jack is right... but also somehow confusing, like something is omitted. Or SOMEONE. You know whom.

Someone whose absence also made Michael so plain, I suppose.

Jack’s story started with Cas, I think it couldn’t end without him. Jack was so devastated to hear about his death - and all is OK in the finale? ‘Cause he is the Almighty now? And Michael - he was also connected to Cas, we saw it in 14x10, in 15x08 - all the way actually. There should be some mentioning of Cas from Michael I think. Not from the DeanCas point of view - it’s Adam who noticed something in 15x08, not Michael, Michael was angry with Cas. But somehow their connection made Michael stronger as a character. Okay, he is not strong enough to rebel. But that’s Cas who said that! He said that he felt sorry for Michael, that it’s Lucifer who was always the smart one.

Without this context Michael isn’t easy to understand - though we heard that Adam is erased and I liked that. That’s a hint - Michael had a strong will when he had Adam, without Adam he is lost, just like AU!Michael was.

I think he is lost because he killed his Lucifer - in both cases. He gave Chuck his ending - and Chuck can’t respect that, he doesn’t like that. He doesn’t like to win. So Michael couldn’t rebel though he’d known about Chuck’s motives from Cas, and not because of love, but because him being a cuck. And all this will be much more easier to understand with Cas’s mentioning. But NO. We had a dog instead. Like WTF again???

The Jack’s part could be fixed in 15x20 I suppose. But not Michael’s part. Well, sorry for him. Now I must add the myth-arc was also connected with Cas all along. He is not just the main hero’s love interest - well, HE IS, but he has also his role in the plot. HE IS A REAL TRICKSTER of the show, the rebellious one, the rule-breaker - at all levels. So without even MENTIONING him in the main myth-arc all this arc looks like a card house, and not as proper as Luci’s card house from this ep was.

This arc deserved much more better. It deserved Cas as a trickster. Don’t like him even mentioned ‘cause he’s also Dean’s love interest? Well, say good-bye to a proper myth story. And that’s a shame, in my opinion.

‘Cause 15x20 could be 15x19 and vice versa and both eps could win ‘cause of that.

Well, that’s the reality we live in. And we’ve got so much goodness already. We should be thankful for that.

9) Who the hell is curved Jack and Cas’s names on the table? Sam and Dean? Jack? With Mary, it had sense, with all these flashbacks. I understood she curved her name herself. What’s for Cas and Jack? What’s the point? Dead for good? I know that’s NOT the point. So what is it? I can’t understand it here.

We need continuation, guys! :)

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lovemishjen · 3 years

Text

Reading reviews of 15x20 on IMDB is so cathartic

this can't be serious

15 years of character development right out the window. i watched the episode with zero expectations and still managed to get disappointed. can't believe not a single person during the steps of its production stopped and said "hold on...are we sure this is how we want to be remembered"

***

I feel like I got lobotomised

This episode gave me covid, I also feel like Sam's wig had covid.

***

They had all the pieces for a beautiful ending and instead took a 180 and drove the show into the ground

Even my worst imagined ending was better than this. All the character arcs were forgotten for season 1 nostalgia. It was so out of character. Nothing like Dabb's other episodes. What happened?

***

Pulling the ending out of a Cards Against Humanity deck would've been better

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with rebar to the back and a party city clearance wig.

***

2020 please stop

After 15 years that's how you ended a great show ??????? terrible

***

supernatural wanted to beat game of thrones for worst series finale and it shows.

The supernatural series finale felt like it was one big april fool’s joke except it's november and nobody's laughing.

***

If I could give this negative stars, I would.

Some of the most awful writing to come out of this entire series. I don't know what Andrew Dabb was thinking. Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki deserve accolades, they put on an acting clinic, but even their phenomenal performances cannot salvage this entirely and that is the real crime here. Fifteen years of character development thrown in the garbage, the themes of family not ending in blood, of "good things do happen" (hope against all odds, survival), and the meta narrative around the Winchesters beating the Author to finally write their own story right along with it. And that's not even going into the other relationships and characters which were dropped like hot potatoes as though the entire season prior was irrelevant. This wasn't just Covid, either. From statements given by cast and crew and Dabb himself, this ending was planned even prior to the pandemic, so using that as an excuse rings extremely hollow. Now I understand why Jensen said he was unhappy with the ending - turns out, he was right to.

***

I laughed I cried it was worse than Bugs

I don't even want to talk about it. Save yourself time, and go find a better ending on Ao3.

***

The bar was so low. Yet they still managed to get underneath it.

Worst series finale I've ever seen. Truly, it could not have been worse. The GOT ending is a masterpiece compared to this.

***

bro what ???

Why did these last two episodes feel like a fever dream? they were so out of character. season 15 was about defying destiny, but in the end they all became exactly what they were supposed to be, kinda horrible lazy writing if u ask me.

***

First time i cried while watching smth because it was that bad

I can't believe people get payed for that level of writing. 15-year-olds on AO3 do better. SPN wasn't good last several seasons but that series finale just hit the bottom broke the floor and descended to writers's hell

***

Sorry Jensen

Dean deserved so much better. He fought for other people all his life then he fought for his own free will and never got to live for himself for more than a week before being killed off in such a mundane way for shock value.

***

Only 1 star and it's for the dog

Terrible ending. Basically forgot all the character developments? I feel bad for the cast, after all those years their characters deserved a way better ending than that.

***

Defeat God, and you'll be murdered by a NAIL.

And don't even get me started on Jareds wig. He be walking around like Doc Brown.

***

THE WRITERS WERE HIGH

Why that cas-baiting? why those 'where's misha' jokes. you didn't bother to give misha a proper farewell, made cas's last scene a 'fake call from lucifer' but had the audacity to make it like "will he be there/will not he" knowing fully well that castiel is not gonna appear in the final episode. i didn't think I'd find a more disappointing ending than game of thrones, but supernatural did it. i didn't have much expectations going into the finale, but this, this was so freaking low. castiel and dean deserved better. this episode destroyed each and every story arc in 40 minutes.

***

only the sweet release of death can undo this

If i could travel back in time and euthanise myself before i ever had to suffer this flop of a finale, i would

***

is this a joke

So... i'm choosing to pretend the last 2 episodes of the show did not exist because otherwise i genuinely will never be able to enjoy the rest of the show again. jensen and jared did a wonderful job with the absolutely horrific script they were handed, but there was no saving this dumpster fire of an episode. yikes. cas and misha deserve better.

#15x20 #fans roasting spn finale #imdb reviews

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soysaucecas · 3 years

Note

oooh for the ask game 24, 30, and 44!

MAGPIE MY BELOVED HELLO

24. What are your favorite episodes?

The only episodes I've really watched are TMWWBK (which is my favorite episode and I'm certain would still be my favorite if I watched every single one because it has the only SPN character and the only SPN line), The French Mistake (which was funny enough but honestly in the Just Okay category for me, which makes me pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy actually watching SPN if this is one of the funniest/highest-rated eps), and Reading Is Fundamental (my best friend was watching it and asked me if I wanted to hop on Discord, I thought it might be fun to see Kevin's first introduction but instead this ep found the two of us taking like 90 minutes to get through it bc we kept pausing and screaming (derogatory) as the model minority stereotype jokes piled up and up and up... Unfortunately not a favorite even if we got Meg AND the "pull my finger" joke AND the "Sorry" shot). Other than TMWWBK, from clipping and transcript-reading, I like Wayward Sisters (who doesn't?), The Things We Left Behind (Claire!!!! Cas trying to be a dad! The diner scene aka my favorite destiel scene of all time bc being in love just looks so good on Cas! Also the parallels between Claire and Randy and teen Dean and the adults at that club in his story... woof.), Golden Time (Eileen gets to be HERE and be sad and loved and fight people with ghost powers and Cas gets to do a cool speech and a stabbing and do the Asian community a favor), and Lucifer Rising (just immensely sexy on all counts for Ruby, Sam, Cas, and myself). Also I am SO fond of Steve!Cas so I'll add Heaven Can't Wait even if I barely know anything about it.

30. What is an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have about the show?

Ooh okay hm I think. So I adore confession scene, but I don't think the "I cared about the whole world because of you" is like. The Objective Truth the way that most bloggers seem to take it. Cas was lobotomized tons of times before he met Dean, he was described as coming off the line with a crack in his chassis, he's always been the weird little angel who likes humanity too much! I don't think Dean came first, and although gay love was part of what helped Cas invent free will, he *Ruby voice* didn't need the feather to fly, Dumbo! I do think Cas believes what he says in the moment, but I also think he sorta... made himself believe it? This is probably just me deciding that cas-coding should go both ways, but like. I very much crush as a coping mechanism and I very much overascribe my actions to love because it simply seems more noble/poetic to do so. Being miserable because school is hard is cringefail but being miserable because of unrequited love is Good Shit. And I have been in unrequited love with my best friend for at least 7 years (probably 9 but I didn't realize it earlier) and if you asked I would 100% say that she taught me love and defined love for me and that she will be my first and last, but I also know that that is not entirely true; it's just the narrative that I like for myself. And I think that being in an Empty deal contingent on whether or not he LETS himself feel happy would lead Cas to do plenty of mental maneuvering, which I think involved intentional self-poor-little-meow-meow-ification via overascribing his choices and happiness to Dean (and I also think he'd already been doing that for a while just because of personal self-worth issues and because it's a nice narrative). I know as Cas's last Moment on the show it was probably written to be The Objective Truth, but I am perceiving him and I say no.

44. If you could write an episode of Supernatural, what would happen?

Oh scream okay! This is a fun one! I am going to start out with two ideas from other people:

1. Months ago Nate from the pocnatural discord had the idea of an episode from the "monster"'s perspective where the Winchesters are just clearly the antagonists while not doing anything different than they usually do. I think the idea was that all these supernatural beings live in a self-regulating community together and we have one Very Likable pov character who's a member of this community, but one of the newer members messes up one day and kills someone and the Winchesters come on a case and wreak havoc on this Very Much Functioning (there was going to be a whole rehab and reparations thing for the new member who messed up!) system and kill pov character and in the end you just HATE Sam and Dean for it.

2. It's hard to adapt anything from bad moon rising (aka my favorite spn fic) very well because the point of an Arab Winchesters season 1 rewrite is that it doesn't really work with the white characters we have now, but I think I could see a version of chapter 2 adapted as long as Haley (an Ojibwe hunter who lives in the area affected by what Sam and Dean are hunting) takes the lead. I'd especially like to see this section:

Dean laughs, a little disbelievingly. The question has never crossed his mind. “Do you like it?”

This gives Haley no pause at all. “Yeah,” she says. “I mean, it’s not really about killing monsters, though, for me. Or, it’s not always about killing monsters. It’s about community. Not violence. It’s a spiritual thing to build a home, you know?”

“Oh,” Dean says. He can’t think of anything else to say. It has never crossed his mind before that hunting could be compatible with a community.

I don't have any original episode ideas to add to the hunting discourse, so we're on to my ideas about character-driven eps. I think I would like to see a version of my sastiel possession fic (ty again for beta-ing that! you're a real one) as an ep around the time of 9.11 because Sam deserves to work through their trauma, but idk what the Dean plot should be for that. Another thing I would like very much is TFW drunk history storytime (so like. Tall Tales bass boosted), where for some reason they all need to go over what they were doing during Stanford era but each of them is telling someone else's story. It's gonna be either Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam or Dean->Sam->Cas->Dean. It starts out very funny (they all have terrible wigs and makeup in the flashbacks. Cas is Jimmy wearing a giant mask with googly eyes on it.) but as it goes on it gets increasingly sad how much these three don't really know each other.

In the Sam->Dean->Cas->Sam episode, Sam's telling of Dean's past veers wildly between "crushing pussy and killing things" and "feels like absolute shit all the time" and it's funny but Not Right and afterwards Dean goes "I didn't know you thought of me that way" and Sam says "... I am basically reading off the voicemails you left me back then" and Dean has to sit there and contend with the mythology he himself wrote for Sam to believe in. Dean->Cas provides the comedic beats for the episode as Dean awkwardly narrates Cas's Life As A Weird Little Guy who watches trees grow and heals babies and in the end Dean goes "so how did I do" and Cas is like "well actually I was either getting lobotomized or murdering people so like 3/10?" The moral of this plot line is that Dean is bi. Cas gives a fairly faithful retelling of Sam living her trans little life at Stanford and veering between trying to be Normal and being a total weirdgirl and feeling guilty and angry and happy and free. It becomes clear that Cas admires Sam a lot (but also feels like. guilt and some self-recrimination for not being that) for rebelling from their dad and exploring their queerness during a time Cas was still to his knowledge in total soldier mode, and Sam is having an a_good_soldier's Thesis 5 moment about how she failed the kid she used to be and how very sorry they are about all the things that happened to them, and Dean hates that this is the first he's hearing about so much of this but is also quite emo about the parts where Sam is struggling. The ep ends with them all in the same room not looking at each other and not knowing if they want to group hug or never talk again.

Dean->Sam->Cas episode is similar but the storytelling dissolves a lot faster as it becomes clearer way faster how much their own emotions are getting in the way. Dean is upset that Sam could leave their family so easily and probably swing a normal life, Sam keeps wondering what it would be like to live millennia just KNOWING that you were right and good and clean, and Cas is gay and veering between fitting Dean's life into a larger Righteous Man narrative and just being very tender (and sad and angry) about Dean's pain. Episode ends in a rather cathartic shouting match where they all end up apologizing to each other for many things.

Oh also I would like to see Cassie again but I don't have an episode in mind there. Also would love to see Kaia adjusting to life in Sioux Falls and befriending the others and dealing with Bad Place trauma.

tysm for the questions sorry for taking so long!

(ask game)

#ask #long post

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starryvioletnight · 4 years

Text

Take it From the Top

Summary: A destiel fix-it fic/fluff piece. Not really one or the other. Death and Dean talk about Dean taking his ring to put Lucifer away. Death has other matters to discuss. Enjoy~

You raised your little brother for love,

you fought for this world for love,

that is who you are.

You’re the most caring man on earth,

you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.

Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell,

knowing you has changed me.

Because you cared, I cared.

I cared about you,

I cared about Sam,

I cared about Jack.

I cared about the whole world, because of you.

You changed me Dean.

...Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

I love you.

Don’t do this Cas.

Goodbye, Dean.

Dean sputtered a breath as he looked up at the pale, sunken face of the Horseman. All he’d asked for was his ring, to open Lucifer’s cell and send him back down to hell, so the world wouldn’t end and they could all keep on living. He hadn’t noticed that time had stopped around them, that the world seemed too crisp.

“What the hell was that?” He rasped. He reached for the water, but the cup wouldn’t move. Everything was permanently frozen in its place. “I need a drink, god damn it.”

“Sorry, but if I allow one thing to move, then Chuck will be able to move. I’d rather avoid that if I could.” He folded his fingers together on the table top, and watched Dean with harrowing eyes. “I’m tired of bouncing from world to world just because he gets tired of his toys and wants to start again. I especially don’t like that you two meatheads somehow end up killing me in this entire mess you two make. Now I’m offering you a one time deal, and you’d best take it.”

Dean wasn’t listening the closest. He was staring at the water. He snapped his head up and looked at Death. “Lay it on me.”

“You’re going to take my ring. You’re going to put Lucifer away. You’re going to think Sam is dead, and you’re going to forget about Adam.”

“But-!”

“You will, Dean Winchester.” He says, his tone a warning. “You’re going to play out all that I just showed you, up until you get that bloody mark on your arm. When Abaddon rears her head, and you need a way to kill her, I will craft you a weapon that can do the trick.”

“But what if Sam or Cas get suspicious that you’re helping us.”

“Think of something.” He says dully. “And be prepared to not see your mother again, that will not happen because Amara is never going to get free. And once Chuck has served his purpose, I will reap him myself.” His eyes never wavered from Dean’s.

“Do we… really have to go through all that pain and suffering? Why can’t we fix this all now and gank the SOB?” He frowned. “What’s the point?”

“There’s certain things that have to happen. Fixed points in time.” He told him calmly. “But in the end, you will all be alive and well and get your ‘happily ever after’.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. “Don’t do anything stupid with this knowledge, Dean. If Chuck finds out either one of us is on to him, we could create a chain reaction that would see the end of your reality in a blink of an eye.”

Dean frowned. Frustrated, a little exasperated, but all the same he nodded. “Fine. Just tell me when we’re all safe, okay?”

“Agreed.” Death took off his ring and handed it to the elder Winchester. “Don’t muck it up. I like the food here.”

Dante snorted and shook his head. He took the ring and stared at it, the weight of the future hanging on his shoulders. He couldn’t believe all he was going to allow to happen.

The bunker was empty. Sam had taken Jack out for the night. The world had become… mostly calm. They still hunted demons, and monsters. Dean didn’t think that’d ever change. But so much of the other stuff had. No more apocalyptic threats. Death had sworn it. It was done, taken care of. All of it.

Dean walked to the library and sat down. He propped his feet up and pulled out his phone. He scrolled down to Cas’ number. He swallowed down a lump in his throat. He called the number.

“Hello Dean.” Cas answered. Same as always. Same old Cas.

“Hey, Cas. I uh, had a question to ask you. Do you got a minute?” He asked, and scratched the back of his head.

“I suppose.” Dean heard some shuffling, and then a car door shut. “What is on your mind?”

“What do you think would make you happiest in the world?” He blurted. “Like, if your life depended on you being happy, what would it be?”

There was a quiet moment. “Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Cas asked. “If someone is there, let me know someway.”

“No, no Cas I’m not being held against my will. I doubt a killer would let me phone a friend in that situation anyway.” He said. “I’m just… curious.”

“Well,” Cas took a moment to think. “I think being with you, Jack and Sam would do it. All of us, having a drink or, watching cartoons. Something relaxing, fun.”

“Yeah?” Dean picked at his jeans as he listened. “All four of us, huh?”

“Yes, why?” Again, Cas’ worry came back.

Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m serious when I say I’m not captured. This ain’t a life or death situation.” Not really, anyway. But it did feel like it. “Cas.. how do you feel… about me?”

“Close? We have known each other a long, long time. Calling us anything less than friends would be a disservice to what we have been through.”

Dean paused and took a shaky breath. “Do you think… happiness is… just being? Do you think you need to have happiness, or can you just, be happy, ya know?”

Another, long pause. “Dean, this feels like a goodbye of some kind. And I do not like it.”

Dean can’t help but laugh. Yeah, yeah it did sound like a goodbye, because that’s what it was. It had been a goodbye, one that had haunted Dean for so many goddamned years before now. And now, he could finally say it. He had had years to prepare for this moment. And fuck he hadn’t prepared a single line.

“How quickly can you be home, Cas?”

“Maybe an hour?”

“Try to speed. I want to see you.”

Time seemed to drag on, as Dean paced the bunker in anticipation for what was coming. Castiel was going to be there any moment, and he wasn’t ready. Years of knowing this was coming, and he wasn’t ready. Unbelievable. He paced the halls and rooms, trying to rehearse cheesy lines that fell flat the moment they hit the air. What could he say? What would summarize years of unrequited pining, on both ends?

The door opened and Dean jolted, before he hid behind a pillar.

“Dean?” The angel’s voice echoed in the mostly empty room. “Dean I’m here… what did you need?”

He’d always be there when Dean called. He knew that. He just had to say it. He had to make the first move. He stepped out from behind the pillar. “Hey Cas.”

“Why were you hidden?” Cas did that cute little head tilt and Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Are you okay?”

Dean stepped forward until they were closer. Not super close. Maybe too close? Dean couldn’t tell. “Cas, if I had mere moments to live, and the only thing that would save me was thinking of the happiest thing I could…” He paused and took a deep breath. “I would think of telling you that you are one of the most important people in my life. You’ve helped Sam and I again, and again, and again. You’ve always tried to do the right thing-”

“Even when it was the wrong thing.” Cas chimed in. And Dean laughed.

“Even when it was the wrong thing. But you always tried to do better. Be better, for me and Sam, and now Jack. And… I really admire that about you. I think it’s one of your best qualities.”

“It really started with you.” Cas nodded. “You taught me a lot, over my years on earth. Team free will, and all that.” He smiled and shrugged. Like he was trying to joke and be serious at the same time. He wasn’t good at that, and Dean would have to tell him later.

“Well uh, good to hear, I guess.” He was so fucking nervous. “Cas… I have something really important to tell you, okay?”

Castiel nodded.

Dean took a very deep breath, pursed his lips, and then mumbled, “I love you man.”

“Dean?” Cas looked confused.

“I said I love you!”

His voice echoed in the empty bunker, and Cas blinked. So they stood there, and Dean shifted on his feet. They both kinda looked around, before Cas finally cleared his throat. “I love you too, Dean.”

Dean whipped his head to make eye contact with him. “Yeah? Like, for real?”

“Yes.” Castiel nodded.

“Not like, not as bros.”

“No.”

“Or as friends? Or like-”

Cas grabbed Dean and pulled him down. He kissed him. And Dean kissed back, and his eyes were closing and the world was spinning as he became light headed. His heart raced and his brain screamed, this is so, so right. This is how it was supposed to end. It had to have been.

Cas broke the kiss first, both taking half a second to catch their breath before Dean kissed him again, and gripped the lapels of his trench coat, Cas’ hands moving down his body to wrap around his middle. Nothing else mattered, nothing but this.

Dean eventually, after a few minutes at least, broke the kiss and panted shallowly, his body weak. Then, he laughed a little, and hugged Cas tight, who hugged back immediately. “You gotta practice kissing, man.” Dean teased.

“Thank god I have someone to practice with.” Cas chuckled. “Also, I doubt my kissing was that bad. I have had few complaints.”

“Was the pizza man a good teacher?” Dean asked cheekily, remembering way back when.

“I’d like to think so.”

“It wasn’t terrible, I’ll give you that.” Dean pecked his lips one more time. “I can’t believe-”

Cas pecked his lips back, cutting him off. “I know. It’s liberating. But there’s something-”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. “What? What could possibly be on your mind?”

Another quick peck. “How do we tell Sam and Jack?”

Dean paused. He looked away a moment, and pursed his lips in mock thought. “Honestly? I don’t give a damn.”

Cas laughed. The two moved to the couch, never breaking contact. Once seated, Cas climbed onto Dean’s lap and cuddled up to him, the Winchester holding his angel closely. Dean ended up falling asleep like that, and Cas would never dream of waking him.

#destiel #supernatural fanfiction #castiel fanfiction #dean fanfiction #nancy's writings #i hated that episode #bury your gays is the worst trope #this time dean confesses

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