#thank you OP for adding it onto my post I appreciate it!
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Tumblr: Myth vs Fact
People have been talking a lot about Tumblr on Twitter lately (for no reason whatsoever), but that also means a lot of misinformation is going around. So if you're coming from Twitter, I would like to clear up a few misconceptions, starting with:
Myth: Tumblr is dead. It died with the Dec 2017 porn ban and now it's a ghost town.
Fact
Well, okay, yes, it did die with the Dec 2017 porn ban. Mostly. But it got better! On November 5, 2020, Destielpocalypse happened and Tumblr rose from the grave. Since then it hasn't been as busy as in, say, 2015, but it's gotten over its death and has had a steady stream of traffic ever since.
See the rest below the cut!
Myth: Tumblr is where all the drama and discourse starts.
Fact
Again, this hasn't been true in quite a while. When Tumblr died in 2017, most of the people responsible for the discourse moved to Twitter. Since then, it's been pretty chill, even after Destielpocalypse resurrected it. People like to say that Twitter is just Tumblr five years ago, and... it's pretty true right now, at least in the drama department. We'd appreciate it if you didn't try to change that.
Myth: Porn is allowed again on Tumblr!
Fact
Sadly, this is not true. However, nudity is allowed now. Just no visual depictions of explicit sex acts. Here is a pretty detailed explanation from the CEO of Automattic (the company that owns Tumblr) on why they can't bring porn back right now, even though he would like to.
Note that this only applies to visual depictions. Explicit text (yes, that means smutty fanfic) has always been allowed.
Myth: You should never add anything to a post you reblog.
Fact
Actually, one of the really cool things about Tumblr is how a post can grow and develop with every new addition! Simple Tumblr posts have turned into repositories of useful information or complex scifi world-building thanks to users collectively adding cool stuff with each reblog, or sometimes just asking relevant questions for others to answer in their reblogs.
But you don't have to add anything in order to reblog! Most people don't! And if you have something to say that doesn't really add to the post (like "Cute!") or is just for your followers, it can go in the tags.
Which brings us to a related myth:
Myth: There is a complicated system of etiquette around reblogging and tagging and if you don't follow it everyone will point and laugh.
Fact
Okay, there are some general etiquette guidelines that have developed that most people follow. Like the above, about only adding onto a post if you have something substantive to say and putting other comments in the tags. I'm sure you've seen rules like this around.
But these are flexible and nobody is going to hate you for violating them now and then. If you reblog something and forget and add "Cute!" to the post instead of in a tag, nobody is going to dogpile you. Worst case, people will click back to the reblog before yours and reblog it from there instead of reblogging yours. Or they might just reblog yours because tbh it doesn't really detract from the post. Just don't be rude, and remember that the OP and everyone who sees the post can see your tags very easily now.
The main thing is please do reblog stuff! That is the #1 way posts get new viewers (see below, most people turn the algorithm off). You don't have to add anything or even tag it; reblogging it is just a way to say "hey followers, look at this neat thing I found!"
Don't let the idea that you're not reblogging "correctly" prevent you from reblogging at all.
Myth: It's cringe to reblog old stuff, or to go through and reblog/like lots of things from someone's blog.
Fact
Posts are made for reblogging. We are all here for the reblogging. We want you to reblog. There are posts from 2012 or even older still making the rounds. If someone stumbles on my blog and reblogs a bunch of old stuff in a row, I'm just happy that they enjoyed my blog.
If OP doesn't want a post to be reblogged anymore, they now have the ability to turn reblogging off. Otherwise, reblog away.
Myth: Tumblr is the golden land of no algorithms!
Fact
Tumblr is the golden land of allowing you to avoid the algorithm if you so choose.
Most Tumblr users changed these settings years ago and have been living algorithm-free for so long they forget that when you first sign up, it does have an algorithm unless you turn it off.
Here is how to customize your viewing experience (on the app):
From your blog (the little people in the bottom right corner), hit the Settings wheel in the top right corner.
Go to General settings
Go to Dashboard preferences
The first four are all various algorithms. Best stuff first reorders your dash by algorithm - if you turn it off, it's all chronological all the time. 2-4 add extra stuff to your dash that the algorithm thinks you'll like. If you turn them off, you will ONLY see what's on the blogs you follow. (Note: if you turn off "Include followed tag posts" you can still view the tags you follow in the "Your Tags" tab at the top of your dash.)
4b - If you want to view mature stuff (nudes but also violence or anything drug/alcohol related) go to Content You See and turn it on. It's off by default. This is also where you can set tags or keywords you want hidden.
(These settings can all be found in similar places on desktop.)
Even after you do all this, if you really want to see what the algorithm has to say, just go to the For You tab. It will... probably convince you that you made the right choice in turning all of this off. Tumblr's algorithm really isn't that great, and we're fine with that.
Myth: Neil Gaiman is an active Tumblr user.
Fact
@neil-gaiman has no social media.
Myth: Supernatural is a television show that went off the air two years ago and is no longer relevant.
Fact
Welcome, you are now on the Supernatural website, where even if there wasn't a prequel series currently at this very moment airing, Supernatural will never die. Or will die and be resurrected repeatedly. It will probably creep into something on your dash eventually. Mute a few keywords if you don't want it, but brace for the occasional gif anyhow.
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Hi, I would like to talk to you about your comment under my friend Summer's post. As a lesbian, I have to say that saying that "bisexuals exist" under a post about a character being seen as a lesbian/lesbian-coded is pretty lesbophobic of you even if you didn't mean it, as many times posts about characters being seen as lesbians whether canon or not get derailed with people saying that the character "could/should" be bi(and thus making it so that the character is into men). Also Summer is a bisexual Black woman so them getting rid of Percabeth isn't misogynoir and it's certainly not bisexual erasure because, like they said, Percabeth is incredibly cisheteronormative and REEKS of comphet. Also a lot of lesbians see themselves in Annabeth and agree that she is lesbian-coded and that her relationship with Percy can be seen as comphet, including myself. Respectfully, this was not your place to go "bisexuals exist". Yes, we know that bisexuals exist, as op is a literal bisexual himself, but that doesn't excuse derailing a post about a character being perceived as a lesbian with "okay but they could be bisexual ackshully". Yes, bisexual erasure exists, but a character being seen as a lesbian when they are portrayed straight in canon ain't it. Women and lesbians in particular face a lot of pressure to be into men and to center men in their lives, so you saying "bisexuals exist" is adding to that societal pressure even if you think it's not, even if you think you're doing something good. If you see Annabeth as bi, then make your own post about it. Don't come onto a post about her not liking men to remind us/op that she could like men. We already know that women are expected to like men. I'd appreciate it if you apologized and deleted your reblog. Thank you.
Hi thisismisogynoir, I appreciate that you and your friend are of a certain opinion here wrt Annabeth being lesbiancoded. But I’ve been in fandom for over 20 years, and I’d like to share my perspective.
There are two fundamental topics going on here, race and queerness.
First, race: there’s this urge when there’s a racebent female character (and Annabeth is now Black) that fandom wants to sever her ties to the main character and usually its romantic.
For example, take cw’s the flash. In the comics, Iris was white but for the tv show the CW hired Candice Patton, a black woman. Lots of people were angry about this and were insisting that the white redhead in the cast (caitlin snow played by danielle panabaker) should be Barry’s love interest instead. They were very persistent and made fandom unbearable. Another example,the original Roswell series had Maria DeLuca played by a white actress, but for the reboot, Roswell New Mexico, they racebent Maria Deluca and cast the afrolatina Heather Hemmens in the role. Now that Heather was Maria, everyone wanted Maria to not be in love with Michael anymore and the showrunners just so happened to give Michael another love interest, the whitepassing Alex. Michael was still one of the main characters and Maria, who was now a Black girl, was separated from him in favor of this whitepassing male character Alex. There’s even an older, much more blatant example of this in the form of Nyota Uhura (yes I know she’s never been racebent but bear with me). Back in the original series Uhura had chemistry mainly with two people, Chapel and Spock. ( Now granted I loved original series Chahura (not really sure on the actual spelling of their shipping portmanteau sorry) shipping but now in the reboot Kelvin timeline there’s this urge to declare Uhura a lesbian again, when she has a canon romance with Spock. There are plenty more examples of this pattern.
I realize you’re both Black and I’m not, and I really don’t want it to seem like I’m dismissing your lived experiences. With all due respect though, it kinda doesn’t matter that you’re Black in this case? It doesn’t really matter that you don’t intend misogynoir but rather what the impact is of this particular post. If the intent is to make Annabeth a more fleshed out character, that I can wholeheartedly agree with. However you’re opening up a dangerous avenue where white fans can point to you and say "well here’s two Black women who agree with me that Annabeth should be kept far away from Percy!!!” except they won’t word it that way they’ll use your words and say “here’s two Black fans that want Leahbeth to be a lesbian because she’s lesbian coded!!”
Speaking of, let’s talk about queerness.I get that there’s lots of different readings for canon but I’m kinda worried that you are mistaking your fanon reading of Annabeth as a lesbian and trying to project it on Leah/Annabeth, Imagining additional experiences unaddressed in canon is fair game, but it’s honestly hurtful to undercut, take away, and reduce a character’s experiences. IMHO you can advocate for a more fleshed out characterization of Annabeth without excluding the fans like me who really appreciated Percabeth. And yes I am biromantic asexual so I would love to see another bisexual character be the main focus of a new, mainstream show.
mod ali
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so I was just minding my own business collecting my little images on pinterest when I saw this https://www.pinterest.com/pin/16536723625116017 (mod party cat, I'd appreciate it if you posted the pin image with this ask, but I understand if not) and immediately thought of me and kenobi. probably because I'd just been adding to a kin board, but still, it took me by surprise. I got a distinct Feeling in my chest when I thought about the idea of him realizing I genuinely didn't remember my hatred for him and deciding to show me mercy and nurse me back to health on tattooine. maybe the amnesia would've been due to that holocron fucking up my mind, I don't know. I doubt that it's what actually happened in my canon (which I still have precious few memories of), but it'd be nice. I don't even know where this came from! I mean, sure, I recognize(d) that he's attractive, but I wouldn't say I had a proper crush on him. just a good ol vaguely homoerotic sworn-enmity. I could never see us in a romantic relationship… except, I guess, for the above? hm. and then of course there's the question that's been plaguing me for months. is this me, the star wars fan, thinking of this in a fandom way, or is this me, Maul, thinking of this in a looking-back-on-my-life way? it's a pointless question that's only served to keep me up at night. I'm sure it's done the same for plenty of fictionkin before me. I hope I find out how they convinced themselves to break out of that loop soon. in the meantime I am thinking thoughts of making out with that fucker and being luke skywalker's other weird godfather
—Maul (#🍵)
…whaddaya wanna bet this'll fade by tomorrow and I'll be mortified that I posted about it
. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/16536723625116017
image description begin. A screen cap of a tweet that says "Memory loss trope except the character who gets amnesia latches onto the ONE PERSON they shouldn't trust. "l don't remember you but I get the feeling we used to be close?" while their worst enemy smirks and says, "Oh, absolutely" (with the intention of killing) but THEN." end image description.
op I'll do it just this once because you're gorgeous but I generally don't post links and images because nobody ever provides image descriptions or warning to what the links go to which seems unfair to people needing descriptions or mobile app users. thank you and longcat speed you.
ps, 📦
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GIVEN | Every EASTER EGG in Fuyu no Hanashi ~orchestra version~ that had me in tears
Thanks to everyone who read my previous post The GENIUS OF FUYU NO HANASHI is in the melody itself. BUT OMG HOLY HECK this orchestral version is
MUSICALLY PAINTING Mafuyu's whole journey of grief, love and healing! 😭❤️🩹🙏
Allow me to walk you through what is happening symbolically in the music that is painting Mafuyu’s growth!
[I timestamped and linked everything in purple for your convenience I recommend reading this post and listening to all my links for optimal appreciation experience]
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Mafuyu, now several years into his professional music career with Given the band, has finally made it onto the big stage. He emerges from behind the curtains into the spotlight in a gorgeously fitted suit. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Then we see Ugetsu sitting in first violin and concertmaster position because this version starts off with a MAGNIFICENT VIOLIN SOLO 😭😍😩
Symbolically, it represents Ugetsu is right there performing with Mafuyu!!
Akihiko is there as well sitting beside Ugetsu in first desk!*
*as you read on, you'll see why I know that Akihiko is there.
This version is super interesting because it utilises a musical-theatre style of orchestration, similar to the orchestration from Rodgers and Hammerstein's musicals i.e. Sound of Music, The King and I, Cinderella (I've added Youtube links so you can reference the style of music I'm talking about). Every instrument of the orchestra has their own little moment to shine. This symbolises the wonderful people in Mafuyu's life that's supporting him on his journey of healing.
The harmonic progression is more spicy, full of colour and less "sad" than the original version but still based on the Cycle of 5ths to represent eternal love, symbolising that Yuki will always have a place in Mafuyu's heart.
Then Mafuyu starts singing, it's beautiful and so soulful, the style is reminiscent of those old black and white romance films! Compared to the original, Mafuyu's voice is much more refined here!
he has amazing control of the tone of his chest voice
there is no harshness at all but still full of emotion
Mafuyu also has amazing consistent vibrato
he knows exactly when to pull back or add more gusto
So @deep-fried-brain-cells is absolutely right in her post that Shogo Yano intentionally made his voice sound like an amateur singer in the original version and here is him unleashing his full talent as a singer! What a fucking champ!
I love this version so much because it really conveys that Mafuyu now as a professional is looking back on
Yuki like a cherished memory, grateful to have had Yuki as his first love.
He's also looking back on his journey and recognises how far he has come as a person and as a musician. Here, he is much more confident at expressing himself. (GAHHH I'm so proud of him!!!)
WHAT'S MORE FASCINATING IS THAT orchestration written in the musical-theatre style usually hides
🐣MUSICAL EASTER EGGS🐣
everywhere that can symbolically reference a lot of things like character themes, motifs that represent certain emotions etc.
BY RECOGNISING THESE, 2 THINGS DAWNED ON ME:
1. Ugetsu and Akihiko are musically supporting Mafuyu throughout this entire performance!!!
Ugestu and Akihiko know exactly how Mafuyu is feeling throughout the performance! They understand the pain and relief that comes with letting go of someone you love and moving on. So they are musically conversing with Mafuyu to reassure him and relate to him!!!
2. Fuyu no Hanashi ~Orchestra vers.~ references EVERY SINGLE GIVEN SONG EVER RELEASED
Other than Uragawa no Sonzai which was released at the same time as this version, it features both the Given anime OP (Kizuato) and ED song (Marutsuke) , Given movie theme song (Bokura dake no shudaika) and the TWO EXTRA SONGS (Stagekara kiminisagagu and Hetakuso) on the Gift Album released last year!!! 🤯 🤯 🤯
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🕰Have a listen to these timestamps!!!🕰
(Apologies, the emojis don't completely match the instruments but it's just to help anyone without much musical training to recognise the sounds more easily!)
0:00 🎻🎻Ugetsu (violin) starts the piece followed by Akihiko and the rest of the strings play the Fuyu no Hanashi melody. They start this performance because they can relate to Mafuyu's feeling of loss of a loved one.
0:10 🎻the strings also reference Bokura dake no Shudaika from the Given movie, it's that tune from the strings that comes between the lines "We can't go back anymore." and "I am here, hey look at me." This is Mafuyu accepting that the past is the past.
1:16 -🎺the french horn reference Marutsuke as Mafuyu is singing "all of you have lost its tomorrow". It is speaking on behalf of Mafuyu, saying "I wonder I wonder, I'm ensuring all the answers while searching for it" The word Marutsuke means - circling the correct answer. Mafuyu here is saying that we are all just trying our best to figure out life as we are living it.
1:44 -🎷is a clarinet referencing Stagekara kiminisasagu as Mafuyu is singing "You'll always be beside me". It is speaking on behalf of Mafuyu, saying "I dedicate this to you from the stage" I think the you references both Yuki and Uenoyama.
2:21 - 🎺the french horn references Marutsuke again as Mafuyu is singing "what kind of tomorrow should I look for?". It is speaking on behalf of Mafuyu, saying "I wonder I wonder, I'm ensuring all the answers with no answers/with hope" Mafuyu is saying that sometimes life just can't provide the answers but we must try and live with positivity not knowing all the answers. Trying our best in life together with our loved ones is all we need to do.
2:34 - 🎻when Mafuyu shouts "AHHHH" Ugetsu (violin) really be showing us his full capability as an internationally renowned violinist through this ridiculously hard violin solo! He references Fuyu no Hanashi the melody again, talking to Mafuyu through music by stating,"I understand what you're going through. I've also been there."
2:50 - 🎻🎻Akihiko joins in with Ugetsu, playing this AGONISINGLY BEAUTIFUL violin duet* that sends me straight to heaven.
*the violin duet is the thing that confirmed it for me that Akihiko is also there on stage playing alongside Ugetsu!
3:02 - Akihiko and Ugetsu (strings) reference Yoru Ga Akeru! They are literally saying to Mafuyu "It's okay. You will be okay." and "Dawn’s about to break."
3:02 - 🎻Also if you listen really carefully, the lower strings reference Kizuato and specifically the melody of the line, "Whatever you left behind became all of me."
3:08 - 🎺The trumpet references the opening/ending guitar riff in Hetakuso!!! It is speaking on behalf of Mafuyu, saying "It doesn't matter if we can't express ourselves well. Let me hear your voice because that's all I need to keep living" Mafuyu here is talking about Mafuyama and how even though sometimes miscommunication happens, trying your best to communicate is all that matters.
3:40 - 🎻as Mafuyu sings the line"that's the whole story," Akihiko and Ugetsu (strings) are playing the EXACT MELODY that Mafuyu's singing, as if once again relating to him "We share the same story of finally able to move on and find healthy love." For Ugetsu, he found self-love where he is finally starting to practise self-care and for Akihiko, he found Haruki!
4:22 - 🎺As Mafuyu sings the last word of the song, "Together", the french horns reference Kizuato and specifically the melody of the line, "Whatever you left behind became all of me." But here holds a👏positive connotation👏!!! The supporting chord is in C major (happy and hopeful) so this line actually takes on another meaning of Yuki leaving behind his guitar now makes Mafuyu feel grateful because he found a love and purpose of expressing himself and helping others express themselves through music. Through music, Yuki and Mafuyu will always be together!
4:28 - 🎺Brass (trumpets and trombones) once again reference the same strings melody in Bokura dake no Shudaika stating that "our treasured memories will become a theme song that is ours." MafuYuki's theme song is Fuyu no Hanashi! BUT THIS VERSION is Mafuyama's theme song which captures all the pain, gratefulness and love in their relationship!
4:34 - 🎻🎻the song then finishes with Ugetsu and Akihiko HOLDING onto a beautiful high note on their violins before the rest of the orchestra comes in with a satisfying grand chord. This is Ugetsu and Akihiko musically saying "It's so important to HOLD onto hope that it's ok, everything will be ok."
😭🤯😩❤️😭🤯😩❤️😭🤯😩❤️
🐣SOME ARE HARDER TO CATCH BUT TRUST ME IF YOU KEEP REPEATING THEM, I'M SURE YOU CAN PICK THEM UP! THESE ARE ALL THE ONES I FOUND SO FAR! IF YOU FIND ANY OTHERS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!🐣
INCREDIBLE RIGHT?!!! Ok, what you're about to read below is what made me bawl uncontrollably for an hour straight. 😭😭😭
🎵Quick Music Theory Lesson with Magic Potato 🎵
All the links are youtube videos explain these concepts in more detail if you're curious to learn more.
🔑 A HOME KEY is like the identity or soul of a piece of music. Generally speaking, 1 key can be in 2 different forms, major or minor. E.g. the key of C can form as C major or C minor. Major keys usually sound HAPPY and Minor keys sound SAD.*
🔑❤️🔑 RELATIVE KEYS are 2 keys that share the same key signature and notes. In other words, they share the same identity and soul.**
🏁 CADENCE refers to how a piece or section of music RESOLVES. In order for a piece of music to portray certain moods and emotions, music can RESOLVE in different cadences to achieve said mood or emotion. If you want to achieve sense of satisfaction or peace, you want your music to RESOLVE to the HOME KEY🔑. Whatever chord progressions you use must go back to -> Chord I, the HOME KEY so that the music can regain its true identity.***
I hope I explained everything well! I'LL BE REFERRING TO ALL THESE POINTS LATER ON! The *Asterisks* mark what point I'm referring to!
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*Ok so, the original version is in the HOME KEY🔑 of F major (Chord I)
***It finishes in Bb (chord IV) so musically speaking,
The original Fuyu no Hanashi song is NOT properly resolved.🥲
This is what we call an INTERRUPTED CADENCE 🏁 in music. It didn't resolve back to the HOME KEY🔑 of F major. This symbolically represents that even though it was cathartic for Mafuyu and he wanted to move on, he couldn't get over Yuki completely after singing in the first-live.
***In Fuyu no Hanashi ~orchestra ver.~, it’s in the HOME KEY🔑 of Eb major and its ending finally resolves 🏁 to Chord I, HOME KEY! Satisfaction and peace is achieved in the music because it has regained its true identity. 😌
Ok, what’s crazy is that
*Eb major is the home key🔑 that musically represents Mafuyama!
Please bear with me! In order to understand how amazing all this is, we have to rewind a bit and talk about the Given OST/background music. The wonderful Given OST Composer, Michiru (she’s so underrated omg)
*purposefully crafted Mafuyu's instrumental theme, "MAFUYU'S DREAM"(Mafuyu no Yume) in the KEY🔑 of C#.
Mafuyu is musically represented by the KEY🔑 of C# in the Given Anime and Movie!
MAFUYU'S DREAM comes on as the very 1st track in Episode 1 where Mafuyu is holding tightly onto Yuki's guitar, looking dissociated and numb on his way to school.
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*It's in the KEY🔑 of C# minor (sad) and symbolically represents Mafuyu stuck in grief.
Mafuyu is represented by PIANO🎹 if he's not singing and it's a purely instrumental track. This is because Centimillimental plays the piano and sings and Centimillimental embodies Mafuyu, I explain this in my blog on Uragawa no Honzai.
The Given ED song Marutsuke in the first episode is just a pure PIANO 🎹 track! And then the moment Mafuyu sings, we get the Marusuke version that we all know and love. This confirmed for me that Mafuyu is represented by the PIANO 🎹 in the Given OST!
Marutsuke is in the KEY🔑 of C# major, it sounds more hopeful and shows that Mafuyu is slowly healing!
Then Michiru,
*purposefully crafted Uenoyama's theme, "SUNNY PLACE" (Yo Atari no Yoi Basho) in the HOME KEY🔑 E!
What’s so incredible about these 2 keys is that
**C# and E are RELATIVE KEYS 🔑❤️🔑
They share the same key signature and notes, meaning that Mafuyu and Uenoyama are actually SOULMATES! 🤯🤯🤯
Seriously! Please listen and compare the 2 tracks! You'll hear how Mafuyu and Ue's theme share the same soul and aura! 🤯🤯🤯
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SUNNY PLACE comes on as the very 2nd track we hear in the Anime and it plays the moment Uenoyama meets Mafuyu in Ep 1.
It's mostly featuring GUITAR 🎸which is Ue's main instrument!
Pay close attention to how at timestamp 0:05, the PIANO🎹comes in to show Mafuyu and Uenoyama’s first encounter with each other!
*Now this track is completely grounded in HOME KEY🔑of E major (joyful) to show just how warm and open Ue is. It also hints to us that
Ue is the one that's going to melt Mafuyu's frozen heart.
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Now as you can see, all the background OST music featured in Given anime and movie MUSICALLY PAINTS Ue defrosting Mafuyu!
❄️ WINTER snow has been melted by C# minor 🔑❤️🔑
☀️ SUMMER E major 🔑❤️🔑
However, Fuyu no Hanashi ~Orchestra ver.~ is in the HOME KEY🔑 of Eb major and that actually represents Mafuyama!
Our singer Mafuyu overcame his parental and romantic trauma and discovered his love and self-expression of music with the help of Ue
Our composer Uenoyama learnt how to communicate, empathise and be patient with Mafuyu and Mafuyu helped him recognise and be comfortable with his sexuality !!!
This musically illustrates that they both put in the work and grew as individuals to unite as 🔑ONE🔑 power couple!
Mafu C# minor -> Eb major 🔑
Yama E major -> Eb major 🔑
I’m actually speechless … isn’t this SO INSANE???!! 😍😍😍
I'm not done yet BAHAHA there is one last thing!
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🏁 How this ~orchestral ver.~ of Fuyu no Hanashi resolves 🏁
***Most music if they really want a "perfect" sense of satisfaction, they go for the Perfect Cadence of resolving Chord V -> Chord I.
But in this version of Fuyu no Hanashi, it resolves
Chord VI (Cb major) -> Chord VII (C#/Db major) -> Chord I (same as Chord VIII in Eb major)
by RISING UP to the HOME KEY🔑 of Eb major!
Symbolically it represents that Mafuyu and Ue learnt that they don’t need to be perfect people or have a perfect relationship
They are both just grateful that they are trying their best, help RAISE each other’s self esteem and make each other grow as individuals
These chords parallel Yoru Ga Akeru's ending chords, musically painting, "Dawn’s about to break." 🌅🌅🌅
In conclusion, Fuyu no Hanashi ~orchestra version~ RESOLVES in the HOME key of Eb because they both feel at HOME with each other thanks to Ue raising Mafuyu's self-esteem and his strong RESOLVE to fight for a future with both Mafuyu and music in it. Hint Mix_14/Ch 44
It tells us that
MAFUYU WILL ALWAYS CARRY YUKI WITH HIM BUT IS NO LONGER AFRAID OF LIVING TO HIS FULLEST BECAUSE HE HAS UE BY HIS SIDE.
Me: *Sobs uncontrollably for the foreseeable future*
Apologies for those who found the theory confusing, I tried to explain it as simply as I could! But all in all, I wanted to write this meta because when us composers/songwriters create music, every decision contributes to what mood and emotions the piece gives off! So essentially everything you feel about the Given songs and music were intentionally crafted by Centimilli, Michiru and Erika, right down to the rests in between the notes! THESE EMOTIONS WERE INTENTIONALLY CONSTRUCTED BY THEM and together with incredible performers, their combined efforts are the reasons why Given songs and music are addicting or make us teary listening to them on our car drive home ❤️☺️🙏
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BONUS CONTENT: This orchestral version of Fuyu no Hanashi shares the same HOME KEY🔑 Eb major as 1) Bokura dake no Shudaika, 2) Stagekara kiminisasagu, 3) Yoru Ga Akeru, 4) Hetakuso, 5) Kizuato and the new OVA single 6) Uragawa no Sonzai!!! Mafuyu is now
1) sharing his pain and love through this theme song for Yuki and Uenoyama - Bokura dake no Shudaika
2) dedicating this song from the stage to Yuki and Ue - Stagekara kiminisasagu
3) embracing the inevitable coming of dawn and moving onto a new love with Ue - Yoru Ga Akeru
4) facing the next winter without fear because he's with Ue - Hetakuso
5) being grateful to Yuki leaving behind his music and guitar. Music started out as a curse became Mafuyu's joy and purpose in life. "Whatever you left behind became my everything." - Kizuato
6) appreciating the love between him and Ue and how they make up for what each other lack. Uragawa no Sonzai
Also I'm pretty sure Centimillimental's favourite key is Eb 😆. A few of his other songs are also in that key. I have left my favourite ~orchestra version~ of Bokura dake no Shudaika down below so we can sob until we are completely dehydrated YAYYYYY . Unfortunately there is no full version, Centimillimental released this snippet for Tiktok T_T
I WANT TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE: Erika Fukazawa is the arranger of this orchestra version! Usually, it is the arranger who comes up with where to best place all the musical easter eggs....She must have worked really closely with Centimillimental but ultimately, she's the mastermind who figured out how spread the musical symbolism across a 50-piece ensemble that is an orchestra! Her other outstanding works include composing for the hit film, Kimi no Nawa Your Name!! 🤯🤯🤯 NO WONDER THIS VERSION OF FUYU NO HANASHI HAD ME CRYING FOR HOURS!!!
FYI Atsushi is Centimillimental's actual name. I can't seem to find the orchestra that played this!!! It's 100% a live orchestra, there is no denying that! If anyone knows, please tell me! Also if anyone finds out the names of the violinists who performed those solos, please share because I'd like bow down to them!
I hope that you found all these musical easter eggs as mindblowing as I did! Thanks for reading! 💕
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Masterlist of my Given Metas
If you like what you read, all I post is basically Given analysis content! Give my blog a follow to be notified of new posts! #metapotato
#metapotato#given#given anime#mafuyu sato#given manga#mafuyu x ritsuka#given ova#yuki x mafuyu#given meta#mafuyu satou#yuki yoshida#murata ugetsu#ugetsu given#ugetsu murata#kaji akihiko#akihiko kaji#mafuyama#mafuyu#mafuyu given#centimillimental#mafuyuki#Spotify#fuyu no hanashi#orchestral version#winter story#orchestra#Youtube#song analysis#SoundCloud#michiru
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Castle Under The Stars
Summary: You always worry when its a full moon and your husband is away on assignment, but this full moon is different as he comes home to be with you. Will it be for good? And just how much fun can two werewolves get up to during the full moon when they have a child to look after?
A continuation of Moonlight On The Sand
Pairing: Werewolf Captain Syverson x Werewolf Female Reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Werewolves, Breeding, Breeding Kink.
Typos are free range and organic, allowed to run wild and free. I do not operate a tag list but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, you’ll get an alert each time i post something new. Past works can also be found there.
Castle Under The Stars
You stepped out onto the back porch and propped the door open with a boot, the warm summer's breeze blowing softly at the net curtains on the kitchen windows, bringing in the scent of the roses in from the garden. Wiping your hands on your apron before hanging it on the little hook by the door, you grabbed your garden shears and flower basket, and headed out with bare feet onto the cool grass. The windows of your cabin all stood open, allowing the warm breeze to flow through the house, but also so you could hear if your little one cried from his nursery.
Quietly you stood and let the breeze push your light skirt against your legs as you carefully selected roses from the overloaded bushes. Small clouds skidded across the night sky, and for a moment you turned your face to feel the soft moonlight on your skin. The reflection of the sun's rays on its surface from orbit made your skin prickle, as if someone was pouring champagne over your limbs, but that was as far as your transformation would go, with the exception of the ring of fire in your irises.
You had been Sixteen when you had been turned. On a geology camping field trip, nature had literally callen and as you’d been in the bushes relieving yourself that’s when the lupine had got you. It took a few months to realise what had happened, and it was only when your monthly period bleed coincided with a full moon did you turn. With irregular cycles through your teens and early twenties, you probably only turned twice, maybe three times a year, but eventually you got used to it.
It had however been a bit of a shock to your new husband, Sy, when you had turned for the first time. He’d knocked you up on the first day he met you, so it took a good 11 months before your cycle had come back, two months after the birth of your precious baby boy. That first night had been a challenge; dealing with a newborn whilst both parents were howling at the moon, however you were thankful that Edith who lived in the cabin down the lane knew of these things, and upon hearing the howling had rushed over in her nightgown.
Since then Edith had been like a surrogate mother and grandmother, as it turned out her late husband had the lupine tendencies too. Your deployment had ended whilst you were on maternity leave and you’d chosen to leave the Army entirely rather than take a desk job. Sy was special ops and in the middle of another deployment, but you had no idea when that would finish because of the nature of his assignment. Looking up at the moon you wondered where he was, hoping he was coping with the full moon and his monthly transformation. You weren’t ashamed to admit you actually really enjoyed when he was at home for a full moon; he was even more attentive and the sex was mind blowing. Standard sex with Sy left you bow legged and exhausted, but with the added power of the moon… well, it was out of this world and you’d had orgasms so strong you’d actually passed out a couple of times.
The sounds of the occasional truck on the highway a couple of hundred feet away sporadically filled the night, and you thought about that time Sy had driven out to the lake with you and you’d spent the night fucking under the moonlight in the flatbed which he’d covered with blankets and throw pillows. You’d been seven months pregnant but good god it was some of the best sex you’d ever had.
As you shifted to reach a particularly large rose you could feel your panties stick to you, just the thought of Sy was making you wet and ready. You wished you knew when he would be home, taking matters into your own hands wasn’t nearly as satisfying as the real thing from the man you loved.
Just then you heard a pair of owls hooting in the distance, a truck on the highway honking its horn, so you didn’t notice the sound of tyres on the long grassy driveway that ran up the hill to the cabin. Humming to yourself you were running your fingertips over the soft petals of a trailing white rose when the first hint of his scent reached you on the wind. It made you stop and doubt yourself, before it hit again and you felt the heat in the pit of your stomach bloom. Dropping the basket and shears on the grass you ran to the front of the cabin, the breeze catching at your skirts before you finally saw him, standing at the open gate to the garden, his large duffel hanging from his shoulder, the fire in his eyes as he finally saw you.
“Sy!”
He let the bag drop to the floor as you ran into his arms, launching yourself at him, your legs were wrapped around his thick waist as you kissed him. His deep laugh as you peppered his face with soft kisses, the tears of happiness rolling down your cheeks;
“I’m here Darlin’” he practically growled, and that’s when you remembered the moon.
Pulling back you looked him in the eyes, the golden ring of fire matching your own, and as he took long strides across the grass you felt the coupling connection again, just like that first night in the desert.
He set you down on the lawn, laying you softly on the grass as he pressed open mouthed kisses down your neck. Grasping the front of your dress he let out a growl as he ripped the garment clean in two, humming his appreciation at your swollen breasts where you were still breastfeeding and soft belly, before your soaked panties met the same fate as your dress. His lips continued their path down your body, until he reached the apex of your thighs and inhaled deeply, his eyes shining bright in the moonlight before he dived in and licked a wide stripe through your soaked folds. There under the soft caress of the moon’s rays your lupine husband pulled the first of many orgasms from your body that night, surrounded by the wild calls of nature and the overwhelming scent of the roses.
-
Sitting at the kitchen table, the morning sunlight streamed in through the windows as you flipped the pancakes on the skillet, smiling as you watched your two boys have breakfast. Michael sat in his high chair, babbling away as Sy seemingly understood every word of gibberish that came from his son’s lips.
Sliding the pancakes onto a plate, you set it down on the table before you felt a strong arm around your waist and Sy pulled you across his lap, his massive hands smoothing over your bare thighs where all you wore were panties and his t-shirt;
“Steady there Darlin, making me want more than just pancakes for breakfast if you’re walkin’ around in just this”
Just then there was a knock at the screen door, all three of you turning to see Edith smiling and waving from the other side;
“Edith! Come in girl, been looking forward to seeing ya!” Sy called out, a huge grin on his face that got even bigger when he spied the basket she was carrying covered in a red and white checkered napkin.
You reluctantly climbed off your husband's lap, excusing yourself to quickly grab your robe as Sy and Edith talked;
“Big Sy, i knew it was your truck that rumbled past my cabin last night”
“Was indeed, home with my girl and my little man” he paused as Edith set the basket onto the table; “Those aren’t….?”
“They sure are” she pulled the napkin up and underneath were her famous peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies.
Sy quickly pulled one from the basket and snapped it in two, handing half to Michael who happily chewed on the freshly baked treat.
“Hmmmnnnn, Edith, i could get used to these”
“You staying this time Sy?”
“I sure am Edith”
“Does she know?”
“Nope, wanna surprise her later”
“Moon’ll be up again tonight, you want me to watch Mikey?”
Just then you walked into the room, catching the last of the conversation;
“Are you sure?”
Edith stood and smiled, rubbing a finger over Michael’s chubby little cheek;
“Absolutely, why don’t I drop by after he’s had his supper?”
-
Setting Edith up with everything she would need for an evening of watching Jeopardy as your son slept peacefully in his crib, you grabbed the picnic basket and blanket and gave Michael a kiss, before stepping out into the night air. Sy had already taken off, with the moon rising before sundown he got antsy, but he would meet you at the lake. He’d set everything up ready, and just told you to drive his truck down, he’d set off on foot earlier, wanting to burn some energy in the calmness of nature.
The truck's tyres crunched on the gravel as you parked up, the lake a still mirror for the pink purple skyline as the sun set behind the mountains in the distance. But none of those were what you were looking at, no, what drew your attention was your husband quietly sitting on a rock at the shoreline, his boots resting beside him as he let his feet cool in the waters. With your sandals left in the truck you walked across the soft sand before reaching the shoreline, sitting beside him as he wrapped his big arm around your shoulders.
“Sy, what are you thinking about?”
He looked at you, his smile warm as his eyes shone amber in the low light;
“Lots of things Darlin… how lucky i am to have you in my life, how i don’t think i could have coped with what happened if it hadn’t been for you”
“Oh Sy…” your eyes watered; “I love you so much”
“I love you too Darlin. You and Mikey are my world…” he paused, poignantly; “There’s something else i wanna tell ya Darlin…”
For a moment you heart sank, dreading what he was going to say;
“Sy…”
“Ya know how Walt’s construction business is expanding and he needs a new site manager?”
“What?” whatever you were expecting, it wasn’t that
“Well, i got a surprise…” he pulled you onto his lap, his hands resting on your ass; “I’m done with the Army”
“No! You’d better not be fibbing…” your eyes were full to the brim, nervous tears threatening to spill
“Not fibbing… i’m done. Wanted to keep it a surprise until i knew for sure that the assignment was completed”
Crying happy tears you wrapped your arms around your husbands shoulders, burying your face in his neck as you sobbed joyfully that he wasn’t going away again.
When you had finally settled down and Sy had reassured you for the 10th time that it was definitely true, he was definitely staying home for good, the pair of you stood and started to walk along the shore of the lake barefoot, the warm sand beneath your feet as you clasped your hand around his.
The gentle sound of the water coupled with the feel of your skin touching his calmed Sy, even though the moon was out high above the pair of you, he didn’t feel the need to turn, the sense of utter contentment a balm on his soul. As you had rounded the lake he stumbled on a pebble, and in turn a giggle escaped your lips. Steadying himself he smirked and kicked at the water, splashing you a little as you let out a shriek at the cool water hitting your warm skin. Retaliating you splashed him a little more than you were expecting, soaking one side of his cargo shorts and he paused and looked at you with a feral smile spreading across his lips;
“Oh, now you’re in for it Darlin…”
Your legs carried you as you ran through the surf, knowing Sy would eventually catch you, yet the thrill was in the chase. You could hear his heavy footfalls gaining on you, but you had the advantage of being light on your feet and made a sharp turn into the woodland, the soft grass beneath your feet dry and coarse. You realised he wasn’t behind you and you slowed, turning to try and figure out where he went, when suddenly he emerged from the bushes, his eyes glowing amber in the darkness and he tackled you to the ground, yet somehow managed to turn your bodies so you were on top of him;
“Gotcha!”
He pulled you down so he could kiss you, turning your bodies until he was on top, shifting his knees so he could nestle between your thighs. Your skirt had rucked up in the tussle, and the harsh brush of his shorts against the soft skin of your thighs had your hips bucking up against him, eager for friction as your arousal grew. With the quick fumbling of eager hands you were both soon naked, Sy kneeling between your spread thighs to take in the sight of you, your nipples hard and your arousal a sheen between your legs. Grabbing your hips he pulled you up his thighs, your back arched and your shoulders still on the ground as he thrust into you, spearing your flesh with his own and you both let out a howl of pleasure.
Sy couldn’t tear his gaze away from where your bodies were joined, watching each time he pulled out and saw your juices glistening on his shaft, or how your cunt stretched open as he pushed this fat dick back into you, parting your walls and you cried out in pleasure. He fucked you like the feral beast he was, claiming his mate and catching the tell tale scent that drove him wild;
“Fuck, you’re ripe… gonna breed you and give you another pup. Thought i caught the scent last night but now i know for sure… can’t wait to see your belly round and your tits even fuller…”
He drove into your fertile body, feeling you cum around him yet he pounded through your orgasm knowing your cervix would be wide open now that you had cum and ready to take his seed. You were whimpering in his grasp, desperate for more but overwhelmed at the same time;
“Sy… please… please put a baby in me…”
“Almost… there… Darlin’...” he grunted through thrusts, before his body went rigid and he threw his head back, filling your womb with pump after pump of his thick seed, a broad smile on his face as he even held you in place knowing that gravity would help get every last drop of cum through your cervix and flood your fertile ground.
When he had finally finished coming he carefully settled the two of you onto the soft grass, holding you tight as your bodies were still joined, knowing that he would stay hard for another two or three goes. By the time he would be finished your bodies would be battered and bruised from the intensity of your lovemaking, yet the power of the moon would ensure by morning you would be healed, no outwardly visible signs that the feral carnality of the nights pleasures left behind, even if it meant you’d be sitting down tenderly on a cushion for the following 48 hours.
It was well into the early hours when the pair of you finally limped back to Sy’s truck, resting your head on his shoulder as he carefully drove home, the moon having set early thanks to its cycle.
When you arrived back at the cabin Edith was having a cigarette on the porch, the baby monitor resting on the rail next to her;
“Got it outta your systems?” she grinned as she took one last drag before crushing it in a plant pot of sand that sat at the doorway.
“For tonight” Sy smirked as he carried you bridal style up the steps of the porch; “Can we book ya for tomorrow night too?”
“Sure thing Big Sy, but you’ll owe me”
“I’ll come fix the drainpipe around your porch once the full moon has passed”
“Deal… you’re a good-un” the old woman smiled as she grabbed her keys and slid the baby monitor into your lap as you quietly snoozed in your husbands arms; “It’ll be a girl this time”
Sy’s eyes went wide;
“How do you…?”
“I just know Sweetheart… my husband wasn’t the only one that’d turn ya’know…”
Sy held you as he watched the old woman make her way down the grassy lane to her cabin;
“She’s full o’ surprises is that one…” he looked down at you and pressed a kiss to your cheek, before catching the screen door with his booted foot; “Lets get you to bed for some rest… gotta recharge for tomorrow night… maybe make it twins…”
You shifted in his grasp;
“That’s not how it works” you mumbled sleepily, a smile on your face, but the truth was neither of you knew how it worked when you were lupine… really, anything could happen.
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Oblivius Chapter 4
Am I insane for posting another chapter? Yes. Am I doing it anyway? Yes. Should you message me about how you feel about Spills & Francis? YES!
(Got a song you want added to the playlist? send it to me!)
I've gotten so much love over this series and I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that you guys love these two idiots as much as I do. <3
(Feo means ugly in Spanish but it can be used as a term of endearment between [male] friends)
Likes & reblogs are appreciated
Frankie Morales x F!Reader
Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader
Word Count: 2.2K
Warnings: Angst, yearning, 18+ language, alcohol (Spills gets wasted)(Please let me know if I forget anything)
Masterlist Series Masterlist Part 3 Part 5 Playlist
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Age: 17
“No Francis I don’t wanna watch this - I’m gonna get scared.” It was late, you were both sitting in his cozy living-room, a big shit-eating grin on his face.
“Why, are you chicken? It’s just The Shining, it's not even scary.” He put it on and despite your protests, he settled and let the movie play, You gave him a pout.
“Okay if you really don’t want to I’ll change it you big baby.” He rolled his eyes to grab the remote but you stopped him.
“Promise you’ll walk me home?” You knew it was one of his favourites. He smiled wide.
“Of course! If it’s too much I'll change it.” He gave you most of the blanket that was draped over his legs and you sat very close to him. He was taller than you remembered him being, having gone through a growth spurt over the summer and he towered over you now. All knees and elbows.
When the room scene came on you burrowed your face into his neck and he wrapped an arm around you, you were so pretty. Your hair smelled so good and he buried his nose into the messy bun you wore. You practically clawed at him, trying to get closer - he made you feel safe.
“Is it still scary?” You spoke into his neck.
“Yes - don’t look yet, just a little longer.”
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**Present Day**
Pope was holding up a shot-glass full of something and there were shots lined up for the three of you when you walked in.
“Catfish, I never thought it would happen for you feo, but I’m glad it did. Claudia, he’s lucky to have you.” He raised his shot glass and a chorus of ‘To Frankie and Claudia’ rang out before everyone tipped the liquor back.
The burn in the back of your throat couldn’t just be from the tequila, you’d swallowed a lump. You’d forced back the tears stinging your eyes when he dipped her back to kiss her. With her laughing and grabbing his neck they were the picture of romance and the smile you had plastered to your face must have looked manic. Popes eyes caught yours then and his eyebrows raised, a question in his features that you couldn’t quite read but he looked away and left you with your thoughts.
-
You got very drunk. Fall-down drunk. Forget about everything drunk.
“Spills, I think you should stop - you’re going to feel like hell tomorrow.” He was softly taking the shot out of your hand and you tried to fight him but his grip was iron.
“St-op t-telling me wh-what to do Francisco.” You tried to take it back but it seemed like the floor was coming up to say hi. An iron grip around your middle stopped you from losing a couple of teeth.
“Jesus Spills, okay - that’s enough. I’m cutting you off.” He held onto you and you wanted nothing more than to turn around and kiss him but you also wanted to throw up. Decisions decisions.
“I-think-imgonnabesick…” you brought your hand up to your mouth and part of you expected him to let go but he didn’t.
“Take a deep breath, it’s okay, Pope can you get me some water?” He was holding onto you, rubbing soothing circles onto your back and you tried to focus on his hands on you as the whole room spun dangerously. A few minutes later he was holding a cold glass of water to your lips. “Drink the whole thing, I'm going to hold it because if you spill it I'll kill you.” You chugged it down and he put it on the table.
“When did you get so strong, Francis?” Your words were slurred and you felt his chest rumbling with laughter at your question. “You smell so good.” You said it lower- more to yourself, but he heard and the laughing stopped.
“Oh no! Are you okay Spills?” Claudia was there now, her hands pulling your hair away from your face and before you could succumb to the urge to tell her never to call you that Frankie spoke up.
“She’s okay, just need to get her home. You’re okay right, Spills?” His voice was lower, so soothing you could fall asleep to it.
“Hey Frankie, you and Claudia should stay, tell me where she lives and I’ll get her home.” It was Pope, Frankie must have trusted him immensely because before you knew it he was putting you into the front seat of Pope's rental and buckling you in. Claudia was tying your hair back and putting your purse into your lap.
“Be careful please - this is her address, just make sure she gets in and lays face down. There should be a bucket somewhere in her bathroom - water and some aspirin on her night table.” Frankie was talking as you closed your eyes. When you opened them you were parked in front of your place.
“Hey honey, come on let's get you inside. I’m just going to look for your keys, okay?” Pope was taking your purse out of your lap. You nodded vaguely.
He helped you in and guided you to your bed. You could feel him taking off your shoes and throwing the blanket over you.
-----
Someone is driving an ice-pick into my skull.
The light was intense and you swore out loud when you cracked an eye open. You stretched and felt a piece of paper beside you on the bed.
“I locked your door - keys are in your mailbox. Drink the water - take the ibuprofen. Let Catfish know you’re okay when you wake up- he was worried. - Pope”
You groaned.
[Francis]: Spills, are you okay?
[Francis]: Can you answer me please?
[Francis]: Don’t tell me you’re still asleep? What, are you a teenager? Getting drunk and sleeping until 4pm????
[Francis]: Sorry Spills, just worried - can you please let me know you’re okay before I show up?
You could see the three little dots signalling that he was in the middle of typing another message and you quickly called him to stop him.
“Jesus, it’s about fucking time.” He sounded worried and relieved and it pulled on your heart strings in a way you both loved and hated.
“Stop yelling Francisco, I am begging you.” You threw your arm over your eyes to block out the light as you lay there, in yesterday's clothes. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now.
“Feeling all that tequila aren’t you? I haven’t seen you that drunk for a long time.” You could hear the faint smile in his voice.
“Yes yes I know - so fucking embarrasing. Did I do.. Or say anything..?” You were trying to ask him without asking him.
“You almost threw up, but if you’re asking me if you started table-dancing you’re good.” He laughed and you sighed with palpable relief. All you needed was for him to tell you that you’d confessed your love or told Claudia to fuck off.
“Thank god. That would have been all I needed. Can you tell Pope I said thanks? Okay, I'm going to go shower for a million years now.” You wanted to hang up, your head was pounding and you needed a few hours of silence and about a gallon of water.
“Okay - see you in a few hours.” You didn’t want to deal with both of them together, not with how you felt right now.
“No Francis I don’t want to entertain, I already embarrassed myself enough yesterday.”
“It’s just me coming and I’ve seen you much worse. I haven’t been home in a long time so, take a shower and do what you have to do and I'll be there at seven.” He hung up and you could have thrown your phone across the room.
Fuck.
---
The knock at the door at exactly seven didn’t surprise you.
What did surprise you was how nervous you were that he would be coming over.
You were literally attached at the hip at one point, he’s seen you at your worst.
“You’re looking much better than you did last night, Spills.” He laughed as he walked past you and into your home.
“Oh god.” You groaned as he laughed, why had you been nervous? You watched him as he set down the bags of what looked to be way too much food on your kitchen counter. Grabbing napkins and forks - completely at ease within your space. “What did you bring?” moved to peak into the bags.
“Chinese - “ He looked to see your eyes wide and the big toothy smile you were giving him and laughed. “Did you think I’d forget you always get Chinese when you’re hungover?” He laughed as he took out what looked to be all your favourites.
“You’re a lifesaver Francis, truly.” You were practically bouncing on the balls of your feet as you served yourself.
“I know, I’m practically a saint.” He walked over to your couch and plopped down, an egg-roll in his mouth as he turned on your TV and looked for something to watch. This was it - this was how it was supposed to be.
This was easy.
He had come over in comfy clothes and seeing him on your couch in sweats and a soft flannel was almost too much. His hair had gotten longer than he had worn it before he went away and it looked so soft; practically begged for your fingers.
“Are you still a baby about horror movies?” He asked without looking at you, you saw that he had put on some cheesy zombie movie. A big smile on his face.
“No, I’m okay, as long as you check every single corner of this place before you leave.”
“God I love horror movies, Claudia hates them so we never end up watching.” He sighed. Her name cut through the air like a knife. An ice cube casually dropped into your shirt.
“That’s too bad.” You quickly shoved food into your mouth, stopping yourself from saying anything you’d regret but he knew you too well. He looked at you then, eyes narrowing a fraction.
“Do you like her?” He asked, point blank and your eyes widened at him.
Fuck, don’t make me answer this right now.
“Yeah, she’s great.” To your credit, you tried. You really tried to sound genuine.
“Why don’t you like her Spills?” He sighed heavily, putting his plate down onto your coffee table to face you properly.
“What are you talking about? I said she was great!” You could feel the flush creeping up your neck and licking at your face at the lie. She was great, that wasn’t a lie - you just didn’t like her.
“Seriously? You’re going to act like I can’t tell you’re lying through your teeth? Just tell me! I’m going to marry this girl. I have to know why you don’t like her.” He had a little frown on his face and you could see that he was worried, but what would he have to be worried about? Worried you’d picked up on something he’d missed maybe?
“I just don’t know her, Francis, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with her, you know I'm just weird. She seems really nice and I’m sure I’ll like her once I get to know her better.” You smiled at him sadly, you didn’t want to talk about her anymore.
He smiled back at you and picked up his plate, happy with your explanation.
---
It always seemed to happen this way, ever since you’d been teenagers. He’d put on something scary and you would end up with your face buried into his chest.
“Oh god - that is disgusting!” You shut your eyes as he laughed, his chest rumbling underneath you at a particularly gruesome scene. You felt his hand rubbing your arm, and it was such a comfort that you sighed lightly. The words bubbled up without your permission.
“I missed this.” You felt him rest his chin on the crown of your head.
“Me too Spills, I always missed this while I was away, missed you.” He spoke into your hair, you could feel his breath ghosting along your scalp and your heart raced, you wanted nothing more than to turn and kiss him. His hand stilled, and you felt his heart beating under your ear. You wanted to do it, your whole body seemed to tense with want and you turned slightly to look at him through your lashes. He was already staring at you, his mouth was so close.
His phone rang, snapping him out of his trance and you moved away from him reluctantly.
“Hey babe, what’s up?” He smiled apologetically. “Just take a deep breath, it’ll be okay. I’m on my way.” He hung up and gave you a look that said I’m sorry. “Gotta go, wedding emergency.” He sighed heavily as he got up, taking both your plates to the kitchen with him.
You wanted him to stay, you wanted to grab him and sit him back down on the couch and straddle him. Grab the soft material of the flannel while you kissed him but you didn’t. Instead you smiled and thanked him for coming and for the food.
He made his way through the apartment before he left, opening every door.
“Just checking every corner, so you can sleep.” He smiled.
I love you too.
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Tag list: @frannyzooey @foli-vora @danniburgh @sambucky21 @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @mouthymandalorian @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl @sleep-tight1 @softdindjxrin @wheresarizona @sherala007 @freak-nasty-thick-dick-mando @marydjarin @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @lori-tovar @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @greeneyedblondie44 @maxwell--lord @princessxkenobi @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi @dihra-vesa @gaiuswrites @stevie75 @sweet-creature98 @readsalot73 @tobealostwanderer @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @goldielocks2004 @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @bellaorisa @hellovanessax
#pedro pascal#frankie x reader#frankie morales#frankie catfish morales#francisco catfish morales#frankie morales x you#frankie morales x reader#triple frontier#francisco morales#francisco morales x reader#oblivius#frankie x female reader#frankie x you#frankie x f!reader
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I told myself I wasn’t going to make a post like this—that I wasn’t going to stoop to the level of making call-out posts—but I really can’t stay silent after what has happened in the last day or so.
The TOG fandom has a serious issue with excusing antisemitism and allowing people who have painfully hurt marginalized groups to continue to ignore, dismiss, and refuse to acknowledge their limits of intersectionality in regards to social justice. I have seen it myself, been on the receiving end of it, and have talked to other Jews in this fandom about what’s been going on and it needs to start being addressed.
Now, I’m not going to name names or tag people (mainly because I have been blocked by almost all of them for this very issue) but if you message me I will gladly tell you the users involved in this. Also, if you have doubts of any of this’s validity and would like screenshots, feel free to reach out to me here or via Discord and I will share them.
A lot of this started when a member of the All&More server had brought up the scientific and medical “discoveries” during the torture and medical experimentation that took place during the Third Reich and how a lot of the origin of it isn’t taught. LR made a comment saying that “we are three-dimensional creatures who are stuck moving forward in time and can’t go back” and added that not using the research won’t make past horrors not happen. When the original user added that there has been a movement in medicine for removing Nazi scientists names off discoveries and that progress was slow moving, she deflected the conversation onto herself, saying “Not using research won’t make my family not harmed by the Japanese” and then immediately pivoted into admitting that, from what she understood, there weren’t any particularly valid scientific discoveries made by them. She then said, in regards to said Nazi atrocities, “Take it, learn about it, put it in context, and then own it and transform it.”
A Jewish member of A&M voiced their discomfort about possibly taking medicine that was a direct result of the murder of their grandparents and other relatives, to which LR said, “Still stuck in the 3rd dimension, still moving forward in time.” I brought up the fact that medicine was built on antisemitism and racism and that starting over would be better than a lot of the procedures we have now. There is a longstanding issue in medicine of disregarding black pain and so much of what we have now is created by eugenicists—including Nazi scientists. There is still a lot of Jewish trauma due to medical experimentation and that is oftentimes dismissed.
LR then made a flippant comment about “Does this count as Godwin’s Law?”—which is about how all internet discussions lead to someone being compared to Nazis/Hitler. When called out on the inappropriateness of the comment, she did not respond and was backed up by one of the mods of the server. There was no apology made nor an acknowledgment about the casual antisemitism of the comments she made and the dismissal of Jewish trauma/pain.
Now, fast forward a couple months when I was contacted by a third party who had not been in the server at the time but had joined and heard about what LR had said there. H said they were friends with LR and had concerns about antisemitism and would like my perspective. I explained what had happened and offered screenshots if they would like them, which they did. They thanked me and apologized that it got to a point that I felt unsafe in the server and had to leave, which I appreciated.
A couple weeks later they reached out to me again and offered to broker a conversation between LR and myself because the situation wasn’t sitting well with them. I was skeptical (because I had been blocked at that point) and didn’t have a lot of hope that this conversation would actually take place but I felt a responsibility to try and be the bigger person and deal with what had been said head on, so I agreed to sit down and have a discussion with her as long as there was a third party in the chat as well—given our history.
After a couple weeks of back and forth with H and hearing that LR had said that she would “think about it”, she finally agreed. I was asked for a time and date and I gave my availability and was told she would be asked for the same. A couple days later, I was suddenly told LR would only be comfortable with this conversation if H acted as a “literal go-between” with us copy-pasting our responses in their DMs so we can “sit with the message and everyone can get to them when they can” rather than it being a session with an actual back and forth and was asked if I was okay with that. I honestly said no, because this was supposed to be a situation where she and I sat down and discussed what she said in the server, not a back and forth message relay where the conversation got dragged out for days or weeks or however long it was going to take. I said if she was serious about meeting me halfway on this, she needed to be able to sit down and actually talk.
H copy-pasted my response to LR and came back that she had backed out of the conversation, which part of me had expected from the beginning—even though all I wanted from this sit down was for her to understand how hurtful the antisemitic comments were and an apology.
These comments that were made in the server are not a secret. It’s pretty well known what was said and again, these were all on record, not privately made in some DM. She has still not owned up to the comments she said, nor has she ever apologized for them. She has ignored message after message about them and blocked more people than I can count. Many of the people defending her when the discourse begins have also been messaged about the comments she’s said and also either block people or ignore the messages completely and refuse to acknowledge them.
Now, this being said, in the most recent conversation about fandom racism, someone brought up the post that was made reducing users on ao3 to faceless, nameless numbers without saying who they were, what they had done, and how they were specifically contributing to the problem of racism in this fandom. They made the comparison of other situations like HR looking at pay stats to see how to fire and included “Nazis, capitalists, and colonizers.”
This is not an invalid argument. There have been other Jews in the fandom who specifically voiced feeling uncomfortable for the exact same reason. However, another person, LT, decided to specifically make a post calling the OP out and drag them for having the audacity to liken it to the Shoah (which, mind you, this person is not Jewish nor did they decide to capitalize Shoah or the Holocaust as they should have). She received a reply saying, “you’re offended by antisemitism? Here’s LR’s (someone LT has agreed with multiple times over racism in fandom) track record of antisemitic comments” which outlined everything I delved into previously.
LT said that they were “unaware of this incident until a couple days ago” but agreed that it was an upsetting display of casual dismissal of Jewish pain and hoped that LR had apologized. She was then called out for being aware of it and still continuing to reblog LR’s posts even after knowing about the comments and was linked to my post clarifying that LR had not apologized and refused a discussion about it, to which LT said that she had gotten “quite a different version outlined in the post linked and corroborated by a third party” and “felt uncomfortable” making a value judgement, insinuating that I was not being truthful about my side of the story.
I messaged LT off-anon and said that I was not lying nor over-exaggerating about what had happened in the server or about the following discussion about trying to broker a conversation with LR, and was immediately blocked by her. I am also not the only Jew who has sent her messages about this topic, only to have their messages ignored.
Now, am I surprised that I was immediately blocked after voicing my issues with what LT had said in that post? No.
She has a history of making antisemitic comments, most of which happened during the brunt of the Israel/Palestine discussion happening, which included statements such as “You cannot be considered indigenous if you hold a position of power”, that, despite having been displaced for 2,000 years, the Jewish diaspora was “integrated” into their respective communities (a wholly untrue statement), as well as linked to and promoted a website with extremely antisemitic articles including one about “Spartan Jews” and how Israeli Jews are violent to “send messages to their deprived self-esteem” that they won’t be victims again. Half of the comments on the site’s front page included such hits as “Death to all Jews” and “Wow, I had no idea this was happening—I guess it is true that Jews control the world and the mass media.” This website was repeated in multiple posts as “unbiased” and “a good resource” for other people to truly know what was going on.
Jewish dissent on the content of some posts and that website went unacknowledged and dismissed.
Being that LT is a relatively big user in the TOG fandom, her posts got circulated frequently. Seeing things like that touted as unbiased was extremely triggering for me and multiple Jews in this fandom that I’ve spoken to.
Now, the reason I made this post in particular was because I have seen a lot of echoing of the sentiment: “no matter how much you disagree with their sentiment, aligning yourself with racists is...well aligning yourself with racists.”
This statement NEEDS to become intersectional. If we are criticizing the work of people because of who they hold company with, why does that end at racism? If we are going to have a discussion about racism in this fandom, why are we letting it come from people who have openly said antisemitic things, people who have stood by them and supported them in silence, and people who have silenced Jewish voices speaking up about this issue.
These are not separate issues. This is a really good post regarding the white washing of Jews in social justice discussion and it comes full circle into the medical experimentation discussion. Jews were not seen as white during the Holocaust. The Nazis were trying to cleanse the Aryan race because they did not view Jews as white. They experimented on them because they did not view them as white and, thus, disposable.
Every Jewish diasporic community is still vulnerable. Even though the US has half the world’s Jews, over 50% of the religiously based hate crimes are consistently anti-Jewish even though Jews make up 2% of the population. Chinese Jews are still holding their holiday celebrations in secret due to government crackdowns. The attempted genocide of Beta Israel was less than 50 years ago. Across the Middle East and North Africa, Jewish communities are barely hanging on after centuries of attempted destruction. These are not just Jewish issues but racial issues as well because when people make the sweeping generalization of “Jew” and they only mean white-passing Ashkenazi Jews, it erases so much of our community.
I absolutely agree that this fandom needs to have a discussion about race and portrayal in fic and what we can do better moving forward—and I want to see that done—but we also need to acknowledge what so many people starting this discussion have said and the marginalized groups they have hurt along the way. I see these posts come across my dashboard and know exactly who they're coming from and what they think of people like me. If we are going to say, “No matter how much you disagree with their sentiment, aligning yourself with racists is aligning yourself with racists,” then we NEED to be saying, “If you are aligning yourself with antisemites, you’re aligning yourself with antisemites.”
We all need to move forward. But that means moving forward together. Jews included.
#i just really needed to get this off my chest#I really don’t want to start shit but some of this has been bothering me for months and I can’t stay quiet anymore#I’m just so tired#intersectionality includes Jews pass it on
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I appreciate that Caldyn is remaining blind! Everybody loves a good blindness scare but always returning sight to characters kinda cheapens it and also ignores that most who lose their sight never regain it.
A totally unrelated question came to me this morning: so you know how we have organ donors, right? Can Caldyn's people graft limbs onto each other??
Thank you for the ask! :D
As I mentioned in my housekeeping post, he actually started out as a blind char, but you cannot leave a whump writer alone with a char's backstory :/ They always end up in tears.
I swear, his main story is adventure and love, and he is quite happy! Most of the time. Except when I... and uh... oh and... Anyway...
I never thought about that LOL
So far I've decided that they can't just let new limbs grow. Healing magic/life magic can do what *could* happen normally, like closing wounds, or growing plants.
(Let's be honest, for obvious whump reasons, we all don't want healing magic to be too OP, and I am no exception.)
He actually at some point reconnects an almost severed wrist, but a completely foreign one?? Also where would one get it?? "Hey, can you lend me a hand?"
It could be possible, but I don't think anyone has tried that yet, or would anytime soon, the mad scientists belong to another race. If it worked to attach them, I'd expect problems with movement or feeling in the added limbs.
Attaching non-kalani plant parts as limbs would probably go as well as attaching a piece of cat to yourself... by which I mean NOT WELL.
#salad-ask#marseny#Caldyn insists he's fine#Please don't try attaching a piece of cat to your whumpees
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1) You make awesome gifsets and I'm glad you're on here so please keep doing that. 2) Fandom is crazy. 3) I do think expecting people to not put thoughts in tag goes against how most use Tumblr as a medium. It's practically how Tumblr discourse is set up/evolved. People utilize tags as contribution. It's the least intrusive way for people to add onto and reblog content without being obnoxious and putting it in the text. Putting in the text I feel like is a problem but...tagging for personal? Nah
Hi, thank you! I add personalized tags all the time. I am not saying that we shouldn’t add tags. I actually have a post on here that circulates quite often where I literally state how much content creators appreciate nice comments in the tags.
But there’s a difference between saying “oh this is so pretty and this is my favorite character” or “oh wow I love this set bc it explores (x) topic which makes me think of (x)” and “oh my god I fucking hate this character.”
If you hate the character, why are you reblogging the set? Because OP clearly likes the character enough to spend time making a set (which is time-consuming.) It just comes off as rude and disrespectful. It’s better than adding a comment, sure, but people still see it. A hateful tag does not facilitate productive discussions. It just makes people angry and it makes them feel lousy. I never once said in my post that we shouldn’t use tags.
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I really appreciate your blog, especially your last post talking about the internalized ideology of what the agents, especially in the cowboy era would feel about being a clandestine black ops conspiracy.
As a leftist myself I really like Delta Green because it is one of the few properties out their that actually treat intelligence and law enforcement as being war profiteers and foot soldiers for capitalism.
Regarding the complex realities of agents who must always look over their shoulders, I always liked relaying on the pesudo liberaterian/conservative conspiracy theorist who is distrustful of the government and is well packed but would have very little to no idea on how to change the world in a meaningful or insightful well. An Alex Jones or a David Icke thinking themselves as a Fox Mulder or a Dale Cooper when they are very clearly a keystone cop.
But that is just one idea I have and I very much like your perspective of maybe disillusioned agents and assets question Cold War logic and propaganda, understanding how sometimes Delta Green maybe made some supernatural or unnatural threats worst with their interaction.
Anyway thanks for your words!
Hell yes, I'm happy about the responses and that other people feel the same. You definitely Get It™️
As a fan growing up of X Files and Twin Peaks there's a very different feel to those shows because while they are based in real life spook agencies the people involved in the story start as or become outcasts even within that community. It lets them see behind the curtain of the machine, but they still have one foot out the door with the rest of us subject to the system and it often forces them to challenge that structure or go against it if need be. It's why it holds up and fails to be copaganda that doesn't age well in the same way that early Law and Order is.
The cowboy era, moreso than any other era, highlights that by requiring that your agent actively goes against the directives of your organization whose real job is to subvert that structure at all costs, and in fact make a regular habit of embezzling, defrauding, and otherwise undermining it as a weapon against the unnatural. Compare that to the modern Post 9-11 system where you can literally be a Raytheon salesman in Afghanistan joined onto a Delta Green special taskforce as a government contractor and it's played totally straight just with the added levity of; but it's to stop aliens. A lot of the maliciousness of the intelligence blob is whitewashed.
If you like applying that to the sort of anti-government libertarian conservative characterization, I also strongly suggest you read some of the books by Stephan Hunter. He wrote Point of Impact, the book Shooter is based off and it's filled with characters like that who are just PREMIUM character inspiration for Delta Green that capture that perfect sense of paranoia and individualism while still being deeply deeply enjoyable to a leftist like me as absolute shock. Some of it is deeply cringe and genuinely unhinged but then you have books like 47th Samurai where a Yakuza boss seeks out an enchanted sword used by the mythical 47 Ronin to use it's influence to take over the Japanese porn industry because he thinks too many American actresses in it.
It's pulp garbage, but my god if it doesn't give you a window into the mind of aging paranoid antigovernment boomers that's spent their lives praising the system coming to slow the realization that the imperial structure doesn't exist to serve their best interests.
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New Working Link to DarkestJay’s English Translation of Fifteen & Commentary on the Discrepancies Therein (PLEASE READ)
Information below the cut for length, as well as spoiler information relating to my article.
If recently you’ve tried to access DarkestJay8686’s English Translation of Fifteen on WattPad through the link I provided at the beginning of my article, you’ve probably already noticed that that link is, unfortunately, very dead; the reason that this has happened is because, sadly, as of late, they — and other translators in the fandom who also post their works to WattPad — have been facing a struggle with their works constantly being flagged on the site and forcibly removed for copyright reasons multiple times over, forcing them to eventually give up and move their content somewhere else where it would be safe from harm.
Upon learning of their arrival on a new, safer platform, I had considered simply exchanging the old link out for the new one at the beginning of my article, where it was before, and altering my notes to reflect this, and I’m sure that I still will as soon as I can find the time to rework everything properly, but in the meanwhile, there’s something I’ve also badly needed to discuss with you all about these translations for some time, and what better time and way, I thought, than to do it in this post where I provide you with the new link?
I’m sure that many of you reading both my article and their translation have noticed that back in the Arcade scene, there was something I had mentioned happening in the novel that didn’t quite match up with DarkestJay’s presentation of those events — namely, Sheep being the first to leave the building, instead of Dazai and Chuuya; well, that difference is actually quite important as one of the main reasons why, while their work may overall be excellent and I do encourage everyone to read it regardless, I still personally would never recommend making it the only thing you read if you want to truly understand Fifteen and all of its events 100% correctly.
Yes, I am saying exactly what you think I’m saying: my information within my article was NOT incorrect — Jay’s translation of the scene, however, was, and if you don’t believe me, you can go read Lea’s translation of the scene and see it for yourself.
Now, before I say anything else, I want to make this 100% clear: I in no way am intending to imply that Jay’s work on the whole is anything but exceptional, nor am I even remotely saying that you shouldn’t read at all; in fact, I highly recommend you do read it in its entirety, because despite a few small mis-steps, as someone who owns two copies of the original Japanese light novel, has read many an English translation, and knows this story extensively well, I will be the first to very enthusiastically say that this translation is actually quite good and very, very helpful overall — an absolutely essential resource for anyone who does not speak the original language but still wants to read, experience and understand Fifteen as if they could. I am extremely, extremely grateful and appreciative of their hard work in making that possible for all English speakers, and I don’t ever want to come across as anything else or make it seem like any of that is any less than true.
That being said, though, it nevertheless absolutely cannot and should not be your only resource on the matter, because if it is, you will unavoidably end up being misled on some matters — unintentionally, of course, but still misled all the same.
Because this was translated well after the anime came out — unlike Lea’s partial but nonetheless equally wonderful translation, which came into existence very shortly after the novel was first handed out in theaters alongside DEAD APPLE, a whole year before the animated adaption was even a concept — DarkestJay’s translation does have some points where it is extremely clear that said television show’s rather poorly handled and highly inaccurate interpretation very heavily affected the OP’s perception of things, and thus caused the OP, Jay, to incorrectly interpret and translate certain parts of some scenes and/or dialogue that otherwise might not have been super clear to someone not fully, extensively familiar with the language.
Specifically, as I mentioned above, there is the one particular instance among the many that I can easily point out: due to the pre-knowledge of the anime’s awful take on the story, there is a point in this translation where Jay simply assumes it to be true that Dazai and Chuuya were the ones to leave the Arcade, with Sheep calling out to their retreating backs, and thus incorrectly translates it as such, when in fact it unfolds in exactly the opposite manner in the original version of the tale; likewise, there are also many bits of dialogue throughout the entirety of the book where the perceived “understanding” of the characters’ nature’s as the show wrongly presented them caused Jay to take the liberty of wording things in certain different ways, or make certain alterations to the type of punctuation used that Jay believed suited them, rather than leaving them in their unaltered states, as they were intended to be read.
This is the major issue with going into a project like this with this kind of confirmation bias; no matter how good your intentions may be, because you expect that you already understand something or know what’s going to happen, you’re much more likely to think it’s safe to cut corners, and rather than carefully researching the context, tone, and other specifics and particulars of every line before you write it out and post it — the way you would if you started with a completely blank slate and no idea of what would happen in it — you will more often than not just assume that it plays out in the way you expect it to if it seems close enough, and quickly go with that presumption as if it is fact without bothering to make 100% sure of it.
Again, no offense to OP, because translation work is very hard, and as I said, overall, it is a wonderful translation and I do think it’s well worth the read, but problems like this are why I personally recommend anyone reading this to also check out Lea’s translated summary with excerpts and translation of the bonus chapter in conjunction with Jay’s, as Lea’s came out long before a Fifteen anime was even a concept and, as such, was completely unbiased — therefore being an excellent source to check facts against where possible.
Of course, there are definitely also some points where both translations are different but neither is actually wrong — as while Lea’s is less literal about every phrasing so it’s not super awkward sounding in English and flows better to read, Jay’s is almost always more literal instead, and thus differences in personal preference for wording can easily diverge while still getting the point across fine in both — but these instances are much different from the ones where it is clear Jay actually slipped up, so I’m sure you won’t have trouble defining them.
As much as I would like to be of help in this regard, I must sadly inform you that I will not personally be pointing out all of these slip-ups here at this time, nor do I have any plan to do so at any time in the foreseeable future. for I have neither the time nor the desire to go about critiquing a fellow fan’s work when I’m already dedicating enough time and energy just to writing about the mountain of mistakes that the anime made without also adding more difficult and unnecessary extra work onto that.
If you have any questions about a particular line in the translation and if it indeed is correct, you can absolutely feel free to send me an ask about it and I will try to help you with it to the best of my ability, but beyond that, I will not be engaging with the matter much farther than I already have.
(However, on one last note, I will, for now, add that — as I expect this might become a point of much contention and is something that will come up in my article later on, anyway — the “it must be because I love you” scene that you will find in Jay’s translation is actually not exactly one such instance where a mistake was made, at least in regards to the “‘I love you” bit; if you’re curious about the exact details of how that all works, you can read about it in my post here. So yes, that does indeed exist, and you are free to take it in whatever way you want. I’m not personally an SKK shipper myself, but if that’s your thing, then good for you — go for it and enjoy it; it can be canon support for your ship if you want it to be.)
Thank you for reading, and, as promised, here is the link to Jay’s new account, as well as their Twitter, and where you can currently access their translation of Fifteen. Enjoy.
[See the recent related addendum]
[View the masterlist of my article]
#linklethehistorian#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd spoilers#spoilers#bsd season 3#bsd novels#fifteen#Arthur Rimbaud#bsd arthur rimbaud#Randou#justiceforrandou2k19#justiceforrandou2k20#justiceforrandou2k21#fifteen article#Randou and the Sins of Season 3’s Fifteen Adaption#Disclaimer and Notes#writing#My writing#Episode 27 — The God of Fire#my thoughts#New Working Link to DarkestJay’s English Translation of Fifteen & Commentary on the Discrepancies Therein (PLEASE READ)
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What are some of your favorite one piece moments and why?
WHOO BOY thanks for asking and buckle up ‘cause this is gonna be a long one
(A note before I start: I read OP up to volume 63 in German and the rest in English, so I apologize if I get some pre-ts names wrong! Also these are in somewhat of a chronological order and based solely on the manga.)
Luffy giving the dog (Shushu?) the last box of food: This is the moment that made me love Luffy, it’s such a simple but effective way of showing his core philosophy that people’s treasures and dreams have inherent value and that everyone deserves to have someone by their side who will fight for them when they can’t do it themselves.
Bellmere: Just. Everything about her and that flashback. “They are my kids”, just... It made me emo back then, still makes me emo today. Love it, love her, love her design and what she’s all about. Yes.
Luffy going “I’m nothing without my crew!” in Arlong Park: Bear with me here ‘cause I was like 12 when I read this arc the first time, and back then I didn’t get why Nami wouldn’t just ask for help (so the “Help me!” moment only became a tear-jerker during my many, many re-reads). Something that did make immediate sense to me was Luffy straight-up admitting his skillset is limited to punching things very good, and I was like hell yeah go Luffy because I was 12. (I also love that this sentiment was echoed by Luffy going “I can’t be Pirate King without you” in Whole Cake Island two years later, so that’s another favorite right there.)
Skipping ahead otherwise we’ll be here all day but Luffy carrying Sanji and Nami in Drumm. Seeing him climb up that mountain with his bare hands and feet fucked me up even as a kid, the way Oda paced it really made you feel what an absolutely harrowing experience that must’ve been and I still think about it a lot.
Zoro fighting Mr. 1 in Alabasta: That fight was just mindblowingly cool and I love Zoro. That panel of him kneeling in his own blood after winning the fight hrgghhgh and oh hey THE STRAWHATS SHOWING THE X ON THEIR ARMS FOR VIVI 🥺🥺🥺 how are those not permanent tattoos Oda FIGHT ME
The entirety of Noland & Kargara, how they died without seeing each other and fully mending the argument they had and how Luffy ringing the bell hundreds of years later redeemed it all. Oda went incredibly hard on Skypia’s backstory and I’m not entirely sure what possessed him to tell a story that tragic but I, for one, am grateful. (Fun fact I was extremely late to this whole shipping thing and thus One Piece is very much about the platonic nakamaship of it all for me but even as a clueless baby fan I shipped THE FUCK out of Noland & Kargara oh my)
“I want to live!” + Sogeking shooting the WG flag + Usopp’s speech to Luffy + Luffy almost fighting to the death to keep his crew safe + MERRY’S GOODBYE: I bawl my eyes out every time I read Water 7, it’s my favorite arc to this very day because it’s just so complex and nuanced and the crew’s limits being tested in every way is just a very rewarding (if incredibly emotional) thing to witness. It put both Robin and Usopp on the map as two of my absolute favs and I’m so grateful for that.
The Strawhats teaming up against Oz (?) was something I didn’t know I needed until I saw it and I’ve been gunning for another Strawhat group fight ever since. The team work, the absolute trust, just everything about it was a delight and made all the stuff that followed (Zoro & Sanji laying down their lives for their captain, the entirety of Sabaody) so much more painful. Also Bink’s Sake because Brook deserves to have friends to sing it with him every single day of his life!!!
Luffy refusing to ask if the One Piece is real or not on Sabaody: I just adore that moment. Rayleigh was so soft and indulgent with these baby pirates carrying along the legacy of Roger’s old hat... My heart...
Mr. 2/Bon Curry (?) in Impel Down. ‘Nuff said.
Ace saying “Thank you” after you-know-what but let’s not linger on that because I was reading One Piece weekly back then and it traumatized me to the point I didn’t keep up with it for 10 years haha!
The post-timeskip era is a bit of a blur to me because I binged it all just a few months ago and my memory is McFreaking Terrible but I’ll start with Law being warned on two separate occasions that he might not like an alliance with Luffy, making the alliance anyways and proceeding to burn in “Strawhat-ya is a fucking moron” purgatory ever since. I don’t care if it’s overdone, every year Law loses to Luffy’s idiocy is one added to my lifespan. Godspeed, king of emo pirates. You dug your grave now lie in it.
Sabo coming back: I know there’s discourse about that doing bad things to the plot and the stakes of character deaths in One Piece, bla bla bla, I truly do not care. Luffy getting one (1) big brother back and Sabo stepping up to Ace’s legacy was so monumental when it happened that it briefly brought me back from my One Piece hiatus and I immediately bought volume 75 when it came out in German. (Now if Oda will only let him live and let Luffy actually hang out with his brother I would very much appreciate that, huff huff.)
USOPP UNLOCKING OBSERVATION HAKI AND SAVING LUFFY AAAAAAAAAA
Corazon holding onto life until Law was safe + Corazon’s smile: Corazon in general, actually. Law harboring that little bit of kindness he was shown as a kid and plastering it all over his ship and his crew and his own fucking skin. Mmmm love me a big sip from that good ol’ heartbreak.
Still in Dressrosa, Zoro going “I wonder what he’s dreaming about” when Luffy smiles in his sleep. It’s this little line and kinda insignificant because they’re talking to Sabo in that moment (and that’s clearly like woah), but it’s so fucking soft and it made my heart grow three sizes so there.
Jack getting one-shotted by Zunesha: Get rekt you insufferable asshole oh my god
Whole Cake Island is practically 78 chapters of favorite moments but Nami saying goodbye to Sanji + Luffy almost ripping his arms out to warn Sanji about Pudding + Sanji making a Strawhat lunchbox by accident + “That’s just how you are” + Luffy muffling his pain in front of the mirror so his crew doesn’t worry (Oda turn on your location I just want to talk) + Sanji carrying Luffy back to the ship + “I’m your captain now! Don’t die even if it kills you!” so yeah, the entire thing. Also Katakuri??? What a loser I love him
[Spoilers for Wano]
And if I went into all the things I like about Wano we’d truly be here all day. Gun to my head I’d probably pick Zoro & Luffy reuniting, Kidd & Killer in Udon (of course) and “At sea you fight pirates!” as my favorite moments so far. Also Jinbei joining the crew after a million years holy shit FINALLY and Luffy getting angry over spilled bean soup and KIDD BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF APOO FUCK YES and don’t get me started on the new characters especially Kiku and Yamato and---
[End of Wano spoilers]
Anyhow. My answer to “What’s your favorite One Piece moment?” is basically “YES” to all of it, thanks for coming to my TED talk.
#ask#anon#long post#one piece spoilers#i decided to leave the german names just to make y'all suffer#i will have you know that the two giants on little garden are called Boogey and Woogey in the German version#and Chopper's dad is called Doc Bader instead of Hiluluk (??)#navigating OP in three different languages is an interesting experience to say the least#one piece
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5D's Episode 27... with an “Uncut” Dub?! (Re-Edited 4Kids Dub/Japanese OST - Revised)
“A World Without Light -- The Dark Synchro Frozen Fitzgerald!”/”A Web of Deceit (Part 1)″
Everybody listen!
Took long enough to finish up and polish (partly because of work and activism life actually picking up a bit), but here’s a brand-new “dub-uncut” episode! With my first few takes in episodes 23-26 newly revised, I was looking forward to working on 27 and starting fresh again, lol. In case this is the first you’re hearing about my mini-project here, let’s get you up to speed:
So, the official Spanish YGO channel on YouTube flubbed a few uploads of the 5D’s dub such that they ended up uploading a few episodes of the English dub instead of the Latin American dub (21-29)–but with none of 4Kids’s background music! Which meant that I could swoop in and re-insert the original Japanese soundtrack (which I did by matching each track to how it was looped in the episode), but I wanted to do more by also tweaking the dub itself so that not only was it matching the original footage, but the dialogue was more in line with the original dialogue timing-wise (since I couldn’t salvage much of what they changed). Hence, the “dubbed uncut” gimmick here. To this end, I’ve also used dialogue from Duel Links where applicable, or even borrowed audio from other episodes with the vocals isolated to lend to that effect.
Check out the masterpost of episodes I’ve done here!
Check out this episode’s WIP videos! WIP #1 WIP #2 WIP #3 WIP #4 WIP #5
So, this one was fun to do particularly because overall, save for the, er... butchering that happened on explaining the Dark Synchro mechanic (4Kids wut) and the rewrite of Carly’s interaction with her Editor-in-Chief (and making Carly a “blogger” lol), the dialogue was already more or less in line with the Japanese version, which meant that I was more or less just removing a lot of the fluff as I added back the OST. As I did in 22, 24, and 26, I added subs for the scenes where 4Kids rewrote things a bit too much for my taste (so, the scenes I mentioned above, but also the occasional line or a few), but of course these subs will be optional in the MKV I release on NAC for this. I also added back some SFX and tried to remove the dub’s replacement SFX in most cases, though I had to swap out the SFX as Speed Warrior was tuning with Junk Synchron since 4Kids had a tendency to add some new one over the original SFX and made it too loud to work with the Yusei chant I put there. And I translated the OP/ED credits in Last Train and CROSS GAME, revamping my singable lyrics a bit for Last Train while drafting new ones for CROSS GAME which I’ll post soon; you can see my Last Train translation in the second WIP video and CROSS GAME’s here. Full process breakdown below the cut.
Also, major thanks to yugidmx5 for providing A+ rips of the “The Day Begins/Tenpei” theme in the Carly/Angela scene, the “Vision of Tragedy” theme as Yusei and Ruka talk about the Satellite’s future, and the alternate “Dark Signers” tune which plays as we first see them and then again between the Dark Signer drones recruiting and Yusei chasing Dark-Signer!Dick down (before it transitions to the OST-released version once Yusei gets to the building under construction); I know that since these came out well, he’s working on better rips for some or most of the unreleased OST, so stay tuned there (I also drafted up a full version of the alternate DS theme, but had to get creative since they didn’t play all of it in this alternate style; will post soon). And thanks to Tiny Spider Productions, who provided the “shock” SFX playing as Carly sees Yusei’s arm actually glowing in her car, some inspo here/there for dialogue fixes, and provided CurtisH from CastingCallClub’s recording he did voicing a line from Tanner translating the original line about the four Signers they know which 4Kids cut short.
I hope folks enjoy! Just breezing through 28 often for lines to use here, I can tell it’s going to be a headache because they did throw in a lot more jankiness in the dialogue... So, fun. 🙃 Once I handle finalizing my subs for GX 56 (and possibly 57 due to how long this took), I’ll start drafting it out; stay tuned~
(And if you're able to reblog for visibility, it’d be appreciated given Tumblr’s suckage with links 🙏🏽)
Breakdown, breakdown~
So, I used Duel Links audio for the twins to handle the Noteworthy/Showcased Cards bit (we’ll see if I still can in 28... And as the twins are voiced by Eileen Stevens in Duel Links but not yet in 5D’s [that happens in 65], bear with me lol), and I also translated the sign for this hardsub in Photoshop, masking in the Fitzgerald card and Rua and Ruka’s heads over it in Sony Vegas.
Moving to the episode proper, a second was trimmed from the shot of the stadium in the TV Rally/co are using once it tunes in, and I couldn’t properly loop the “Yusei!” shouts to cover it, so I just filled in the audio with the crowd just cheering. In the Carly/Angela scene, I removed Angela’s extra lines about her makeup and hair while Carly was getting ready, then tweaked Angela’s line on camera to remove her last name (which we never learn originally) and move her lines about “Fusei Yudo” winning to play sooner while removing Carly’s “one journalist to another” as she walks up to correct her (as this scene was rewritten, there are subs to show the original dialogue). Looped chants of “Yusei!” to remove his internal “pointing out the obvious” monologue before the OP.
After the OP, I used the JP audio to keep the doctors moving Jack quiet (hopefully you don’t notice the chants changing lol), then as Yanagi runs over, I replaced his bit about Yusei having “a brand new enemy” in the media with “we should all get going” from 26. The Godwin/Lazar scene stays the same since it was accurate, but I did have to put the end of Rex’s “that’s the only thing that matters” line on another track so Lazar’s gasp would play when it should (they added a second to his talking in the dub). The Yusei/co scene in the tunnel stays mostly the same, just switched to the JP audio as the flashback to the Satellite vision happened, then as Yusei had a quick one before gasping, I recycled a gasp and a “hmm” from elsewhere to cover the commercial-inducing monologue they gave him in the dub. For the press conference scene, I thought about removing the one “That’s right, Ted” reporter’s line since he’s quiet originally, but thought “whatever,” and then I spaced out Carly’s line as she reads her fortune to match her Japanese line’s pace and remove some of the fluff. I switched to the JP audio after Carly asked about Yusei’s arm glowing to remove Rex’s comment over it, then stitched up a “Perhaps; still, I didn’t see that” mixing his line there with a “still” from 23. Carly’s line as she’s excited about Goodwin dodging her question (originally just “I’ll keep moving forward too!” [she references her fortune a lot more]) was longer in the dub, so I cut out the “which means I’m onto something” for use later. For Carly’s chat with her Editor-in-Chief, I included subs because of the rewrite, but I did shorten Carly’s line just before “bring some dirt and you might still have a job” which was lengthened by 4Kids. Removed a lot of Carly’s fluff as she began to watch the Yusei duel footage via the JP audio, then stitched together “Goodwin tried to give me that bit but [the whole world will know what Goodwin’s trying to hide]”, the latter bit coming from Carly’s monologue as she’s running at the end of the ep, then switched to the JP audio to remove Carly’s fluff about living in her car. Then, as we see the Dark Signers looming, because 4Kids removed the commercial break here, I kept only Demak and Kalin’s chuckling and Roman’s “lower the curtains” line over the desk shot, then looped some of his laughing from after the eyecatch to lead into it.
After the eyecatch, I made use of his “Goodwin assembled his Signers” bit, recycled a little chuckling, then cut Roman’s reference to Shakespeare to just the “tangled web” line (thanks to yugidmx5 also providing the SFX for this scene, I was able to move Roman’s laughing to play where it should after he releases his spiders). Moving to Yanagi drawing the Crimson Dragon, I only kept his “saw it the once” line while using Japanese Rua and Ruka’s interested gasps to fill a fluff gap, then combined two bits of audio to get a [slightly] awkward “t[ail]” to fix 4Kids’s dumb error claiming he had the Head birthmark; accordingly, made Leo say “What about it?” instead of “What about the Head?”. CurtisH’s line for Tanner comes in here, with a slight tweak or two to match the lip-flaps more, then JP audio as we see all the Signers so far to remove Leo’s dialogue. Meanwhile, for Jack’s hospital scene, I translated the “No Visitors” sign Mikage walks past (along with fixing “Atlus” to “Atlas”). The Dark Signer recruitment scene also gets some subs, then I used the JP audio from when we see Dark Signer!Dick walking to Yusei’s birthmark beginning to glow; yugidmx5 providing the SFX was a big help here, too. Yusei runs out to chase Dick down, and then when he sees him inside the under-construction building, I took “Who are you” from later in the episode, but added a more question-ending “u?” to flesh the sound out a bit (since the line was “Who are you and what’s going on”). I took “Fine, then” and “What are you planning to do to the Satellite” from 28 (which I’ll likely cut as it was added offscreen dialogue), and TSP provided a vocal-isolated cut of Dick’s line about his master (because 4Kids cut his shot short by a second or two and played it as the SFX for the zoomout as his Disk activated played).
They begin the duel, and here I just kept “What’s going on?” from the line I noted earlier, recycled some laughing from Dick to match the JP script, then shortened his line about their being offered up “by the light” to work with the new timing. Dick begins his turn, but I recycled an “It’s my turn now” line from later for accuracy, then his setting-a-card line is cut short at his ending his turn as Yusei looks on. Carly, driving nearby and seeing lights from the duel off in the distance, gets her reference to the Goodwin “sheen from Yusei’s Runner got in your eye” line that I cut replaced with the “I’m onto something” I noted before. Yusei gets a recycled “It’s my move!” line from 24 to start his turn, tweaked to remove the drawing SFX that happens in it, then to remove a dub SFX I used a Duel Links line to fill out “I activate the Tuning [Spell Card]”. “I summon Junk Synchron” comes from 24 (and “Level-2-or-below Monster from my Graveyard” comes from his Graceful Revival explanation in episode 3), then--thanks to Arian over on NAC reuploading some HQ dub episodes--a better-quality vocal rip of his “Level-3 Junk Synchron, tune with Level-2 Speed Warrior!” line from 87, along with a better-quality rip of his “From two come one” chant and “Form the road of light!” from Duel Links. Yusei shouts “Battle!” from Duel Links, then I slowed down his line at “[Attack his Blizzard Li]zard” to end it there (and remove the “warm Satellite welcome” fluff). As Blizzard Lizard’s effect activates, I combined an “I activate,” “Blizzard Lizard’s special ability,” and “now” for a better line than “Blizzard Lizard’s special ability is going on.” Yusei’s lines after being damaged and realizing he damaged Dick too are spaced out to match the JP script, then I borrowed Yusei’s line on setting two cards from episode 3. Then, when Dick plays Ice Mirror, I stitched up an explanation (since the Card Interruption does it for him) combining Call of the Haunted’s explanation with a few other pieces of dialogue (thanks to TSP for the inspo). I cut Dick’s “Now I’ll play” line there to remove the dub’s zooming-in SFX, and then made Dick’s line about his third Blizzard Lizard end right before the split-screen with all three of them to remove the dub’s split-screen SFX. I thought about replacing Yusei’s “three’s a crowd” line with “What’s that all about” from later, but couldn’t figure out a way to fill the line in before that, so I left it, but didn’t let Dick acknowledge it by just recycling “With that done” to replace “Well, how about [I release]”, then after Yusei reacts to his Dark Tuner, I recycled some chuckling to match the JP script and trimmed his line about its “power to extinguish;” the Dark Synchro “explanation” gets some subs to actually explain it, then I looped Carly’s panting as she runs to cover the “Goodwin’s trying to hide” line I moved to earlier, and recycled/amplified Dick’s laughing at various points through the ep to remove Yusei’s episode-ending monologue.
In the preview, I just recycled Yusei’s “No way...” and “A Dark Synchro Summon?!” while borrowing Carly’s lines about the Dark Tuner from 28, then Yusei’s line about getting his answers to end it. I had to speed up the OST version of the preview tune to match the pace here, then trimmed it and ended it with the JP audio for the quick fade-out.
/phew
#yugioh#yugioh 5d's#yugioh 5ds#ygo#ygo 5ds#ygo 5d's#5D's#yu-gi-oh 5ds#yu-gi-oh 5d's#my work#5ds dub uncuts#woot glad this is finally done#now to finish up that edit for GX 56 and then get to working on the script~
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Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 1)
My Masterlist
Summary: Doctor!Bucky has a day off but instead of leaving the hospital to go home, he decided to spend it at the bedside of the woman he loves.
Word Count: 4592
Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Bucky x Platonic!Nurse!Wanda, mentions of Steve, Sam, Natasha & Sharon as minor characters
Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse & Alcoholism, Surgery, Organ Donation, IV & Needles, Emotional Distress, Physical Pain, Drugs, Hospital Stay
A/N: Doctor!Bucky is my guilty pleasure.But I have more Bucky AUs and a Chris Beck one-shot coming soon!
It was the hint of orange against the dark blue sky that marked the start of dawn. As Dr. James Barnes found himself awakening from his slumber, he rubbed his eyes to look up at the pasty white ceiling of the dimly lit on call room where he had taken refuge after his ten-hour surgery. Working long shifts that typically lasted twelve to fifty consecutive hours depending on the circumstances had become a routine for him. Although he did appreciate taking a day or two off once he had reached his weekly limit, he could not get himself to go home that night. His lack of sleep, combined with his aching limbs as a result of being on his feet for almost a whole day, meant that he could not even drive home. He had no choice but to stay within the premises for the night.
As he climbed out of bed, he retrieved his navy blue scrub shirt from the tiled floor of the on call room and shrugged it on, rubbing his eyes again as he let out another yawn. He ran his fingers through his jet black mane, noticing that a few strands of his hair were still partially wet. He had found some time for a quick shower before he had made it to the on call room, but he had just been too lazy to dry his hair. He tucked a few loose strands behind his ear before making the bed. It took him a moment to be completely rid of his fatigue and he remembered the beeping sound that had woken him up. His picked up his pager that rested upon the nightstand where he had left it before he had crashed a few hours ago.
Upon checking his page from Wanda, his most-trusted nurse, Bucky picked up the phone and dialed the extension code for the nurse's desk at the post-op ward. "Hey, this is Dr. Barnes returning a page." He said, groggily, to which he earned chuckle from his favorite nurse.
"You told me to page you when Y/N wakes up, Barnes." She told him. "Did you forget?"
"... Right. Sorry, I'm still half asleep." He let out another yawn. He had completely forgotten that your surgery had been last night. He had been planning to sit in the gallery and watch Dr. Romanoff operate on you once his shift had come to an end. But with an unexpected emergency pulling him away for the night, he had only managed to get a glimpse of you in post-op by the time he had returned from his surgery. Had Wanda not urged him to get some shut-eye while he awaited for you to wake, Bucky would have probably dropped to the floor. He was too exhausted to even be worried about you, it seemed. But hearing Wanda mention your name had fully woken him up in an instant. "I-I-I'll be over there in a moment..." He said between a yawn, clipping his pager onto his waistband before slipping into his black tennis shoes.
"I figured. There's a cup of coffee here at the nurses' desk with your name on it. I'll see you when you get here, Doc." With that, she hung up.
It took Bucky a few moments to gather himself before he walked out of the on call room. Perhaps, it was a good thing that he had the next two days off from work, thanks to his overworking nature that had resulted in him reaching his weekly limit of hours he could work. If he were in the OR at this state though, he probably could not even tell the difference between a vein and an artery if he wanted to. It was for the best. If anything, he needed to be forced to take the time off. Plus, he was planning on spending his time off by your bedside if you needed him. It was just an added bonus.
He jogged his way up the stairs to the nurse's desk on the post-op floor. "Wanda, you're a godsend." He picked up the cup of coffee and took a sip, feeling the bitterness of the dark roast seep down his throat, followed by the urge to spit out this concoction that was the farthest away in taste from his usual vanilla bean latte. "Never mind. Actually, I take that back. You're not a godsend. This coffee is absolutely disgusting and it's such a disgrace to humankind."
The perky nurse let out a laugh from behind her computer screen before shaking her head. "Don't you dare be such an ungrateful little shit, Barnes."
He rolled his eyes as he set down the coffee. "Don't you dare speak to your boss like that."
"Why? What are you going to do? Fire me?" She asked as she looked up at him, her eyebrow raised.
Bucky rolled his eyes playfully at her attitude, even though he felt like it was way too early in the morning for them to be bickering like this. Even though Wanda was only a nurse, the two of them had known each other since he had been a pre-med student at NYU. Aside from Steve, whom he had known since childhood, and Sam, whom he had only met while they were both residents, Wanda was someone who had become a younger sister to him. Having lost her own brother at a young age, she too had accepted him as a brotherly figure over the years. Their constant sibling-like banter was just proof of how close they really were and almost everyone at this hospital knew about their bond. "Or I could trade you with Sam for Sharon."
"Asshole." Wanda rolled her eyes back at him before taking back his coffee, taking a sip of it and watching his face fill with disgust.
He leaned against the desk, shifting his weight from his left leg to his right. "Has anyone from her family been down to see her yet?" The look in his eyes filled with concern and the tone of his voice was softer than it was before, it was hushed. For some reason, a part of him feared that the others might hear him and come to know of his deepest secret, his love for the woman he worked with.
She shook her head as she turned away from the screen once again. "Not that I know of. I did notice her mother go in and out of her father's room until visiting hours were over. And then I saw her sitting at the lobby when I went down to get coffee. She seems to be sticking around the premises but I don't think she intends to go and see her daughter."
He let out a sigh of disbelief before shaking his head. A part of him knew that he should not be pissed at your situation; it was none of his business. But he could not help but be angered by the way your family was treating you after what you had just done for them. Perhaps, it was because he valued human life so much that he respected your sacrifice, or it was because he valued you as a human being much more than they did. But Bucky was not going to let anyone else treat you like shit. He was sure of it. "Unbelievable."
Wanda raised her eyebrow at him. "Please don't tell me that you're going to go out there and yell at them? This is none of your business." If there was anyone in this entire hospital who knew about Dr. James Barnes' feelings for Dr. Y/N Y/L/N, it was her. "And I don't think she would want that."
"No, I know that but I have to say... they're the ungrateful shits here, Wanda."
"It was Y/N's choice, Bucky." She reminded him. "It was her body and her choice."
"You know, she said those exact words to me when I told her not to risk her own life to save the man who destroyed her childhood. She sounded just like Steve that I wasn't even surprised. He taught her well." He laughed at the thought of how his attempt to talk you out of donating your liver had been defeated. "She's better than any of us could ever be."
Though you hadn't been as close to him as you were with Steve, Bucky had taken a strong liking to you over the last few years. You had first come to this Brooklyn hospital to take up a fellowship in cardio-thoracic surgery with the incomparable Dr. Steve Rogers. As you were a career-driven woman who was extremely focused on the job, Steve had taken you under his wing and taught you everything you knew as a surgeon and as a human being.
"She's a natural, Buck." He would beam with pride for his young fellow while he drank with his best friend after a hard day's work. "You would love her." Bucky and Steve had been best friends since childhood. They had graduated high school together before going off to NYU for pre-med. After being neck and neck with their MCAT scores, they had also attended Columbia Medical School together. They had survived the competitive stage of residency and trained together under the best cardio-thoracic surgeon in the country, only to return to their hometown of Brooklyn and work side by side. They were practically inseparable.
If Steve had only known how right he had been back then about how much Bucky would love you if he ever met you, now that Bucky had realized it himself. You had first met him at one of the worst points during your fellowship, having lost your first patient while you had been training under Dr. Rogers. It had been Steve's decision to let you fly solo for that particular procedure, but things had slipped out of your hand in the matter of a millisecond. You found yourself sobbing in an on call room and beating yourself up for it. A life was lost on your operating table and you had taken an oath to do no harm. It crushed you when you realized that you had disappointed your mentor, after all those sleepless nights of studying so hard to get yourself where you were.
It wasn't easy for you to be alone from such a young age, especially with no support from your family and no real friends. You had lived on your own since you were eighteen years old, having fled your abusive home to find yourself a safe place here in New York. After your impeccable grades had managed to get you into NYU with a scholarship, you had pushed yourself through the next eight years of schooling while you worked two part-time jobs to make ends meet. Your mother hadn't even bothered to show up at your medical school graduation even though you had sent her an invite, not that it really mattered to you anyways. You had come to terms with the fact that you were all that you had. You had built a life for yourself and a career that was going to be your backbone; you didn't need people, you thought. But that night, even your career had seemed to be letting you down.
That was when you had met Dr. Barnes, the next best heart surgeon in the hospital, who had managed to scramble into the nearest on call room that night for a power nap, only to run into your tearful self. He had asked you what was wrong and you had poured your heart out to him. If you had been so worried about disappointing Steve, you might as well ask Steve's best friend about how to handle it. As it turned out, he somehow possessed a different approach to teaching than his best friend. He claimed that Steve shouldn't have let you take on that patient until you had been prepared for what you had now missed, but he understood the reason why he had done that. After all, Dr. Rogers did have a reputation for being a little unconventional in his teaching. It was one of the reasons why you had been determined to work with him in the first place. "I feel like I failed him." You had told Dr. Barnes in the midst of tears. "I don't think I'm good enough for this, Dr. Barnes."
"We've all been there, Dr. Y/L/N. We've all lost patients. We've all blamed ourselves for the things that are always beyond our hands. There are some things that we as doctors can't control. Steve didn't get where he is without losing a single patient during all those years of training. I didn't get where I am without losing a patient. We are not perfect. We're human. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened. You should learn from it and be better the next time around. Steve can be a jerk sometimes, I can tell you that. But if he told you to walk it off, you walk it off." He had told you, making you chuckle through your tears. "I'm not going to tell you that the road ahead is easy. But you signed up for this so you have to deal with the good and the bad."
"I don't think I can ever be as good as him." You admitted, sighing in defeat. "I don't think I could ever be as good as you."
"Then you should probably aim to be better than us."
Looking back at that conversation now, Bucky couldn't help but realize that you had in fact been better than the two of them. The years had managed to mold your extremely formal mentor-student relationships with them into a much more genuine and beautiful friendship. Steve had become family to you, after having learned of your own familial situation. With his friendship came your friendship with Bucky, Wanda, Sam and Natasha. They were your family now, not the people that you shared blood with. Your biological family hadn't been the best but the family that you had found for yourself in New York were much better.
When you had learned from Natasha that her recent patient with liver failure happened to be your alcoholic father whom you had fled all those years ago, a part of you refused to remember that you even had actual parents. But you were human, after all, and you were bound by your emotions. Looking into his file, you had come across the fact that he was going to be put on the donor list. As they had not found a match for a liver transplant, you had volunteered to get tested and found that you were a perfect match. Your mother had been selfish enough to save her husband's life that she had accepted it. Dr. Romanoff stood by what was best for her patient as any doctor should be. Sam and Steve had respected your choice, commending you for coming forward to save the life of the man who had once ruined yours.
But Bucky had somehow tried to talk you out of the surgery, fearing that it would put you in danger. A liver transplant was no joke. Not to mention that he did not agree with the fact that you were willing to give a piece of your own flesh to save your father's life, expecting absolutely nothing in return. But you had convinced him that as a doctor and as a human being, this was the right thing to do. Even though Natasha was a great general surgeon, he did not undermine her expertise. He was just worried that something inevitable might take you from him during this surgery. He realized that he had loved you so much that he did not want to lose you. But thankfully, the things beyond the control of a doctor that he had once told you about did not get in the way when your own life was on the table.
The beeping sound of the cardiac monitor was a constant reminder that you had survived this surgery. Not that you even doubted Natasha's ability to perform a partial liver transplant. She was definitely the best general surgeon at the hospital. But your fear of the unforeseeable factor had been present ever since you had agreed for this surgery. Even when the anesthesia had been administered and you found yourself slowly losing your consciousness, you had hoped that you would wake up from this on the flip side of the eight hour procedure.
Wanda had been at your bedside the moment you opened your eyes. You had been thankful to see a familiar face, not that any of the hospital staff were unfamiliar to you. But a part of you had expected that you wouldn't be waking up to your mother or an extended family member sitting next to your bed in anticipation of you waking up. Clearly, you had been right about that. Despite the fact that you had now saved your father's life, they could not be bothered about your well-being. They never were,
Being alone as a doctor was not that much of big deal but being alone as a patient sucked. Not only did you have to deal with the nerves before the surgery and the physical pain after it, but there was also the two month recovery time that could not be spent alone in bed rest. You did not know how you were going to survive that, but as you were used to being alone for all these years, you need not to worry. You'll cross that bridge when you get to it.
After checking your vitals and bringing you a cup of water to ail the dryness in your throat, the nurse had left the room. You had asked her about your father's post-op condition but she hadn't said anything about that. It made you worry for the slightest. What if he had suffered the complications of this operation? What if his body had rejected the piece of yours that you had voluntarily given up? That would have made your sacrifice so pointless. You did care about him, even though he had been so horrible to you. It wasn't because he was your father. You had stopped thinking of him that way years ago. But you were a doctor and he was a patient. You had what it took to save his life, ironically which was his blood, and you had made the call to step up.
The sound of footsteps against the cold tiled floor of your hospital room made you gently turn your head towards the door. Wanda had adjusted your bed to help you sit upright but it was still a little uncomfortable for you. Now that the anesthesia had slowly worn off, you were starting to feel some pain in your side. But your chapped lips curled into a weak smile when your eyes landed on the handsome doctor who had just entered the room.
His hair was not as perfectly coiffed as you remembered but it was still as silky as you remembered, the dark strands glistening against the light of the morning sky. His ocean blue eyes looked calm and a lot less blood shot than you were used to. The Dr. Barnes you knew and loved was a sleep deprived mess who cared more about his patients than his own health. But the man who stood before you looked refreshing, like coming up for a breath of fresh air just before you thought you were going to drown. You felt safe in his presence, you had always did.
"I wasn't expecting any visitors at this time and I certainly wasn't expecting a visit from you." You managed to croak out, taking another sip of the water that the nurse had handed you earlier. "But I'll take it."
"Why would that be the case, Dr. Y/L/N?" The man chuckled as he pulled up a chair next to your bed and sat down. You noticed that he was still wearing scrubs and it made you wonder. Had he been working all night and decide to stop by before he headed home? Or had he just arrived at the hospital for the start of his shift and decided to check on you before he was to begin his morning rounds?
"Because I went against your advice for the first time ever. You told me not to go through with this transplant and I did." You reminded him as you sighed. "I just assumed that you would be mad at me."
"Well, it was your choice." He just shrugged. "And now that I think of it, you may or may not have followed another one of my advice."
You let out a soft chuckle, followed by a wince at the pain that you felt in your side, now that the anesthesia was finally wearing off. You knew that you had the option to control your own pain medications through IV but you did not want to fall back into a deep sleep, especially not when James Barnes was sitting before you. "I thought you hated me." You admitted. "You didn't even come down to see me off before the surgery. Rogers was there, even Wilson and Carter. But you were nowhere to be seen."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't be there. I wanted to. But a trauma came in, flail chest, I had to go down for a consult and I was held up." He replied as he reached forward to take your hand in his. "How are you feeling?"
You gave him a nod as you smiled weakly, feeling his gentle grip against your hand. "For someone who's missing a pound of flesh, it's not as painful as I thought it would be. But then there are also several tubes attached to my body and that's not the most attractive thing on the planet." A part of you was worried that you probably looked like a disaster. Along with the IV that was pumping fluids and medications into your body to keep you hydrated, you also had a catheter in your bladder to prevent you from having to get up to go to the bathroom, and several drainage tubes in your abdomen to drain the blood and bile from your body after the surgery. A part of you was embarrassed to have Bucky see you like this. Despite the fact that he was a doctor, who was definitely used to dealing with much worse on a daily basis, you couldn't help but wonder if he thought you were unattractive like this.
"A pound of flesh?" He asked, giving you a confused look.
"Shakespeare." You clarified, wincing again at the pain. A part of you wanted to up the dose on your pain medications. But you feared the risk of the nausea and other complications and side effects that would follow. "The Merchant of Venice takes out a loan and promises to pay Shylock a pound of his flesh... if he doesn't pay back the money on time. It's a good play. You should read it sometime, you know... if you ever find yourself with a day off from cutting into people's broken hearts." You fought the urge to laugh but you failed, feeling the pain in your abdomen only growing by the second.
"Oh, I don't think I could be able to handle Shakespeare. I wasn't the best student in my English class and I was more into the science side of things."
"And you have the medical degree to prove it." You stated with another laugh, only to wince again at the pain which continued to get worse. "Oh fuck..."
Bucky leaned over in his chair to reach for your PCA remote on the bed side, his eyes filled with worry as his lips curled into a frown. He looked over at you for approval. "Do you want me to do it?"
"I thought I could avoid having to pump all those drugs into my body but..." You paused and bit down on your bottom lip as the pain took over your entire abdomen, making you hold your breath for a moment in hopes that it would dissolve. But it only got worse. "Please..?" You shut your eyes as the tears pricked at your eyes, hoping that Dr. Barnes wouldn't notice them stream down your face.
"Y/N..." He hated to see you in pain. "Are you sure you don't want me to page Romanoff?"
"Oh shit, that hurts like a bitch." You felt him squeeze your hand before pushing the button for another dose of pain meds to pump through your IV. "No, no... it's fine. She'll be down here for rounds anyways. Don't bother rushing her to get to work this early in the morning. She's not a morning person and would probably kill you. Just give me the meds. I should be fine."
He nodded as he watched the computer screen, making sure the medication was being pumped into your IV as it was supposed to. "If you start feel drowsy, you just let me know, okay? Don't try to fight it. You lost a lot of fluids. You need to rest." He still hadn't let go of your hand and you squeezed it tightly as you waited for the pain meds to kick in.
"Don't you have rounds? You should go. I should be fine once the drugs kick in." You loosened your grip on his hand wanting to let him go back to work, but he still held onto it, never letting go.
"I went over my weekly limit and I got the next two days off. I just thought I might stick around so that you won't be alone." He told you, making the pain stricken tears finally stream down your face. You couldn't hold them in anymore. Perhaps it was the medication or the emotional trauma that came with having your abdomen cut open. You felt stupid. He had been right. Your family did not care about you. You were alone. He was only here because he pitied you.
"You don't have to do that."
"But I want to."
As you began to feel drowsy, your mind refused to believe what you were hearing. Did Dr. Barnes just say that he wanted to spend his day off by your bedside? You shut your eyes, trying not to lose your consciousness as you slowly felt the pain begin to numb away. Bucky still hadn't let your hand go as he sat down next to you. "You were right, Dr. Barnes." You whispered but you weren't sure if he had heard you. Perhaps, you had just thought it in your head and he hadn't heard you. But he did not respond for a moment.
"Well, you're better than me, doll." You heard him whisper and then you felt his warm breath against your eyelids. It took you a moment for you to realize that he was leaning over your bed. You then felt his free hand stroking your hair before your felt his soft lips press gently against your forehead. You felt it all, the love that he had been holding in his heart for all these years. He probably thought you wouldn't have noticed. But you had.
#bucky barnes x reader#buck barnes au#doctor!bucky#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#tw abuse#tw alchoholism#tw surgery#tw needles#tw pain#tw drugs#tw hospital#aj writes#better
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i had so many added mentions onto that writer appreciation post while i was asleep that instead of reblogging it again, i’m just going to respond to them here.
thank you so much @burnthoneymint, @nakunakunomi, @laws-hat-headcanons, @skys-op-imagines, @some-piece and @lucynnamonroll for the additional mentions 🤗 it means so much to me and i appreciate it so much! you’re all wonderful writers too and i’m sorry i forgot to mention you before, but my mind doesn’t work well with tagging urls.
i’d also like to mention @hanajimasama and @thousandsunnywrites because i forgot to mention them as well and their works are amazing too 🤯
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Whump●tober - Ransom
Veg-notables: Second last Whumptober post ::wailssssss:::
TY to @gumnut-logic cause she continues to feed my muse and deal with me :)
Obligatory whumptober stuff: @whumptober2019 @la-vie-en-whump
Blanket warning: bit of swearing… actually a bit of swearing has been in all of my posts but I keep forgetting to warm ppl… oops. I work in the construction industry so a bit of swearing is my S.O.P
Characters: Almost the whole gang and an honorable mention
Whumptober - TaG’verse
Previous post can be found HERE
27 Ransom
Enjoy…
oOo
"Thank fuck" Virgil whispered to himself as he stepped onto the gangway and carefully took the stairs from Tracy Two down to the hanger floor.
"Home sweet home huh, Virg?" Gordon grinned tossing arm around his shoulder and unobtrusively leading him toward the lift up to the villa.
"You have no idea."
"Oh I have a few ideas." He chuckled companionably as they made their way across the vast space. "Though you may want to re-admit yourself once you remember that hospital food is so much better than Grandma's cooking… less gut rotting too."
"And here I was just getting used to having a stomach lining again.."
There was a bark of laughter and Gordon and thumping him once on the back. "Holy shit. Scott you hear that? Virg told a joke."
"Will wonders never cease." Came the reply from some behind them as Scott exited the family plan with John hot on his heels.
Kayo appeared as if out of nowhere the other side of Virgil. Silent as ever and Gordon sucked in a breath.
“Damn, Kayo. A little warning would be nice. Friggen quiet as a cat maybe we should put some bells on you.”
She just rolled her eyes and slipped a guiding hand into the crook of Virgil’s arm. “I got this, go give Alan a hand with the bags.”
“Sure thing, Spookio.” He turned back, “Oh, and we could but the bells on a bright pink little choker. You would look great in pink..”
“Not likely” She muttered and shooed Gordon away. “Such a brat.”
“He’s just blowing off steam in the only other way he knows how besides the pool.” Virgil shrugged. He really couldn’t blame him for the need with TI security and the GDF on high alert due to what happened to Scott.
Virgil also suspected that his younger brother was feeling a bit responsible for whatever small part he seemed to have played in things, though he wouldn’t confirm or deny anything. Virgil didn’t bother voicing this as he suspected he was purposefully being left in the dark for one reason or another.
Another thing for Virgil to ponder. It’s not like he had anything else to do besides physio and the painful neuro-therapy he was being subjected to daily. It was also really starting to make him wonder if the Doctor that had been assigned to him was a secret sadist. Pushing him the way she was with a smile on her face despite his grunts of obvious discomfort.
Kayo seemed to like her though so there was that one positive working for her. That and the fact that there had been some improvement the last few days in his recovery. If it had been otherwise Virgil would have protested the torture rather loudly.
Turning his head to brushed a kiss over the crown of her head in appreciation for everything and continued the long walk across the hanger.
Kayo shifted at his side and he got the impression that she was looking at him “How you doing, Big Guy?”
“Happy to be home..looking forward to being anywhere but that blasted hospital.”
She bumped shoulders with him playfully, “Me too” and lifted his hand to brush her lips over his knuckles.
There was still a lot to contend with still but things seemed to be finally heading in the right direction and Virgil took solace in that.
Canting his head he listened to the echoes of sound off the high stone ceiling, the hum of the machinery that sat idle and waiting for action, the shuffle of Scott and John as they brought up the rear. And the distinctive cadence and timbre of the Terrible Two as they starting pitching insults at one another.
God, he’d missed home. The sounds, the smells, the familiar settings and hopefully one day soon, the sights.
Reaching up, he pushed the nearly total blackout sunshades back up his nose as a twinge of pain flared through his skull. The overhead lighting was bright and it was like bolts of agonizing electricity to his overly sensitive, visual hindered ocular senses, a wonderful side effect of his condition and the neuro-therapy that was rewiring his brain and optic nerves. Yippee skippee.
“Headache again?” Kayo’s voice was soft as they rounded the corner to the elevator bay. Pitched for his ears and his ears only, she knew he wouldn’t want to alert the others to his discomfort.
He couldn’t hide it from her. She knew him too well, was too finely tuned to the subtle nuances of his facial expression to be able to disguise with anything but the truth so he nodded slightly and her hand rubbed up his back. “Let’s get you up to bed. You can take a couple of the tablets the Doc proscribed and zone out for a bit.”
She wasn’t going to get a protest from him and when he said nothing he could feel her attention zero in on him. Singularly focused. The worry palpable in the tightness of her grip on his arm.
“Bad one?”
He gave a shrug. “I’ve had worse but..this one has potential.”
He heard the ding of the elevator, caught the blurry glare of twin metal panels opening, the flash of the interior lighting that had him grunting..
She led him in and he settled back against the wall as they waited for John and Scott to catch up.
The huff of discomforted had his head turning, ever the worrier himself when a brother was down and out “You doing okay there Scott?”
His brother was a mass of bruises or so he had been told though contrary to his physical state he attitude was surprising light as of late, floating up above Five for some reason It had been an up-lifting change from the sense of distress that had been hanging over them and the contrast seemed to make things a bit more bearable.
It wasn’t until the mood had shifted to the more positive that Virgil realized just how much it had been weighing on him, pulling him down and making it hard for him to breathe. With that thought in mind, he pulled in a greedy lung full and savoured the salt tang.
“I’m doing.” Came the laboured reply but there was an air of the jovial to it “Bloody ribs. Remind me next time I get the brilliant idea to take on a group of thugs to use something other than my torso for a punching bag. A concussion is more then another to deal with, the rest of this is just bullshit.”
Virgil smiled and couldn’t resist. “Well with how hard your head is it’s really no surprise they went for your soft underbelly.”
“Ouch, is that a jab at my fitness level dear brother?”
“No, just an observation.”
“If you had used what was in your head your torso wouldn’t have been a ‘punching bag’ in the first place.” Came the very logical assessment from John. The first thing he had said since they’d set out for home from the mainland.
“Ya but what would be the fun of that?”
Fighting words if ever Virgil had heard them and he cleared his throat to dispel the growing tension.
It had been a topic of argument destined to be stuck on repeat since Gordon and John had located Scott in a dead end alley surrounded by three very unconscious masked goons. An argument they’d all had a part in, one that had finally had Grandma seeing red and losing her ever loving marbles all over the lot of them.
Reprimanded within an inch of their lives, they’d all gone off to lick their wounds but the issue remained. One of their own, their commander and chief had taken off to parts unknown. His subcutaneous tracker rendered useless by a very sophisticated jammer so they had no way of finding out where he had ventured off to.
His assailant had been well prepared, well trained but the one thing they hadn’t taken into consideration was how wily Scott could be when enticed. They hadn’t counted on him being able to defend himself with as much gusto as he had even with alcohol and drugs in his system.
Or that he’d beefed up his training since his stint in the military. He was a veteran that had seen active combat on multiple fronts, both in the air and out. Kept up his training physically and mentally and had the added benefit of a trained MI6 agent and Covert Ops specialist re-upping his skill set. So of course the guy could defend himself against three very determined individuals who had wanted to take him alive for whatever reason.
The GDF had been livid, the local law enforcement baffled and Grandma had gone on the warpath. So here they all were, back on the island where security could be assured.
Might have been A.M.A but when Sally Tracy put her foot down, there was nothing that could move it...even stubborn brothers that should know better.
Sighing as Scott and John started snipping at each other like teenagers Virgil braced for another onslaught of ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’ warfare.
Luckily for them, the elevator doors opened up. Unfortunately it was on the lounge level and Grandma was standing front and center, her foot tapping in annoyance.
She’d returned to the island earlier with Allan and Brains to sort the medbay out and resupply the kitchen. It had been a while since they had all been home together and the food pantry had needed to restock badly. With two iR operatives down for the count eating while off island was going to be limited to supply runs as operations were temporarily suspended.
The GDF was just going to have to put on their big person pants and handle things on their own for a bit.
There had been one concession to their early release from Auckland Memorial and that the addition of a new member their island home for the interim of Virgil’s convalescences. One Doctor Emaline Harris was expected on their island paradise in the next few days to continue his treatments so prepping in advance for her arrival was of the utmost importance.
“Boys, please don’t tell me there is a need for a repeat of earlier because I am not in the mood and I am liable to ground you all like the children you seem to be impersonating.” The all seeing eye of Grandma knew all.
Virgil resisted the urge to chuckle and bit down on his lower lip to hold it in. Last thing he wanted to do was have Grandma focusing in on him. He would rather slink off to his rooms with Kayo under his arm and hide until the Dread Doctor arrived with her torture device of pain.
Luck as usual, was not on his side. “Virgil, honey. How you holding up?”
Crap.
“Fine, Grandma.”
“You look tired.” And this is where the great Smother Hen characteristic originated…
“Been a long day.”
“I am sure it has dear. I heard from that lovely Doc Harris that this morning’s therapy was quite the grueling ordeal.”
Kayo gave his hand a squeeze in supported as their Grandmother stepped into the elevator to ride it up to the living quarters.
“I’ve made some soup. I’ll bring you up some once you and Scott have settled.”
The thanks was said in stereo as Scott and himself replied in unison. The excitement behind their words was ‘epic; and Kayo tittered at his side.
A hand brushed his cheek and he caught the lavender fresh scent of his Grandmother’s lotion. “You’re hurting.” She stated.
If it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes felt like there were about to fall out of his head, Virgil would have rolled them. Scott was over and on him before his Grandmother had even finished pronouncing the “T.”
8-8-8
Even injured as he was, Scott could be a right pain in the ass.
It took some doing but Virgil finally made it to his room, he’d only had to submit to a quick med scan from a portable scanner for it to happen and Scott standing over him as he dutifully popped back a couple of the hospital’s prescribed pain pills to do it.
Feeling loogy as the drug started to kick in, he leaned back against the door as Kayo order the automated blackout blinds down and the in suite lighting to low before taking his hand and tugging him towards the bed.
He shucked his sun shades and tossed them in the general direction of the night stand not really caring if they reached their intended destination or not.
It had been a long, long day of medical appointments, treatments, travel and family bickering and his bed was calling his exhausted and still recovering body home.
“Whoa. Not yet, Big Guy.” Kayo said as she placed a hand on his shoulder effectively stopping his desired belly flop into his mound of pillows and the oh so soft duvet that was beckoning him.
“Sleep..” He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“I know but first the bathroom and then some fresh, comfortable clothing. After that you can crawl in and hibernate for the next few days. No poking, no podding, just sleep” She commanded and turned him towards the loo.
“You promise?” He felt like a child as she turned him to the bathroom and pushed him through the door.
She tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulled it up and over his head before sneaking in to sweep a kiss over his lips. “I promise, even if I have to guard the door to do it.”
“God, I love you.”
Her movements stilled, her hands stopping on the draw string of his jogging pants.
It took him a moment to realize what he’d just let slip. He’d never said those words to her before. True they had been dancing around it for months but with their busy lives and the limited time they actually got to themselves they just hadn’t gotten around to saying it.
“What did you say?” Her voice was quiet in the stillness of the bathroom and he could make out the fast pace of her breath as she stood in front of him. The quick hitching it as it fanned over the taut muscles of his chest.
He opened his mouth a few times, closed it while he gather his wits enough to respond.
The words had tipped so easily off his tongue and it shocked him that he hadn’t made the time or found a way to say them earlier.
Taking both of her soft, capable hands in his, he brushed his thumb over the knuckles and he strained to make out the beautiful, fine boned features of her face.
Seeing no defined edges, just a blurred outline, he dropped his head and let go of her hands. “Nothing, never mind...” He turned towards the direction of the shower, fumbled as he tried to find the handle for the glass enclosure, stubbed his toe the edge of the vanity. Cursing a blue streak he parked his ass on the toilet and the next thing he knew she was in his arms.
Hands on his face she forced him to look at her. Impaired vision or not, didn't seem to matter to her at the moment.
“Don’t you dare.” She spat, anger and frustration bearing down on him. “Don’t you dare brush that off like its nothing".
Her grip eased off. "Say it to me again." She demanded.
"I…"
"No hesitation, just say it". It was implored, the lilt of her voice filled with emotion he couldn't see in her eyes. "I don't care if you can't see me. I don't care if you can never see me again.. no matter what happens after today.. I love you, you big idiot. Now say it before I break your jaw and you have to eat through a straw."
He couldn't help the chuckle at her threat, knowing she was fully capable of following through with it if she so wished.
"Well now, threats of bodily harm aren't going to get you far.".
"You wanna bet." She grinned, looping her arms around his neck and settling in closer to him, her body pressed in tight where she knelt between his knees.
Her tone grew serious again. "No matter what," she repeated again, dropping a tender kiss on his lips. "I want you to know that. Nothing could change the way I feel, nothing So don't hide from me. There's no need to be the altruistic hero here, it's not what either of us want."
He leaned in chasing her lips, finding them without sight and sighing when he struck gold. The kiss was slow and gentle. A lazy sensual meeting that left them both panting. "No, it's definitely not what we want."
"Good." She booped him in the nose and pushed up to her feet. "Now that we have that settled, shower and bed for you because there is no way I will be able to pick your muscle-bound ass off the floor if you decide to flake out right here."
Deciding the likelihood of that was fairly high, he grunted up to his feet and finished divesting himself of clothing.
8-8-8
Showered, changed, snuggled into bed and blissfully numbed out for the time being Virgil sleepily smiled as Kayo crawled in after him.
"Kay?".
"Mmhmm"
"I love you."
Sight or no sight, she would stay by his side and if that was a sacrifice she could contend with, a price she was more than willing to pay, who was he to argue?
Pulling her in close, he whispered the words she wanted to hear in her ear again and drifted off to sleep.
oOo
Epilogue - A week later
Rolling over in bed, Kayo stretched out pleasantly achy muscles and blinked up at the sun lit ceiling. The dabbled early morning light shifting across it as the ocean breeze blowing in from the window made the thin gossamer under curtains dance.
A curious look settled over her features as she pondered what was different. It took her a second to compute with her sleep addled mind but when it registered she pulled herself from the tangle of sheets, slipped into one of Virgil’s t-shirts and wandered over to the open doors.
There was sunlight in their room. A room that for the last few weeks since they had returned, had been shielded against the intrusion for fear of causing a spike of pain to drill through Virgil’s head.. Black-out curtains fully open with the acception of the light, whipsy sheers that sat underneath.
Stepping up the the open glass sliding partitions, she leaned a shoulder against the frame and gave her head a shake of amazement at what she was greeted by.
Virgil was leaning perched at the railing, a cup of coffee at his resting elbows and face turned towards the awe inspiring site of the rising morning sun. Its light playing of the waves far below and flickering through the overhang of nearby palms to flicker playfully across his skin.
Skin that glowed healthily, and warmly with colour and vibrancy. All of the six foot tall, buck ass nude, a hundred and eighty odd pound of it.
Saddling over to him, she picked pinched his mug of the railing and took a sip, her eyes raking over every inch of him.
He turned, brows arched as she stole his morning fuel and she returned the look though her gaze had a hard time staying put on his face with everything all out and the wind and such.
“Hey, are we turning the island into a nudist colony or is this just for my benefit?” She wiggled her brows suggestively and he smiled, skimming a finger across her cheek.
“God, your beautiful.” He whispered, her loose hair brushing over his knuckles as it was caught up in the gentle, salty breeze.
Her smile blossomed across at the unexpected compliment and she was about to reciprocate when her mouth dropped open in shock.
His expression alight with excitement she stepped up to him and pushed up on her toes and stared into his warm brown eyes. The answering happiness she say in their depth had her gasping in elation and she jumped up into his arms crushing his lips to hers. The actions saying so much more than words ever could
His arms pulling her in close, the last few remaining tendrils of tension brought on by weeks of worry finally leaving with the morning fog.
Kissing the tip of her nose, he turned back to watch the spectacular display of light and colour as the sun reached ever higher into the sky. Pushing back the darkness and revealing a world that wasn’t so scary after all, especially with her and his brothers at his side.
It seemed that he’d paid the ransom on his sight in full and the world had once more been returned to him in all its splendor.
oOo
The Master List of prompts can be found HERE
#whumptober2019#whumptober#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds 2015#thunderbirds fanfiction#thunderbirds fanfic#no.27#ransom#Virgil Tracy#Scott Tracy#John Tracy#Gordon Tracy#Alan Tracy#Grandma Tracy#Kayo Kyrano#virgil/kayo#Em Harris
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