hate to break it to you but elrond's takeover of twitter is going EXACTLY as he intended. he cannot afford for the site to be successful. he wants it to crash and burn. he wants accolades from fascists and incels, he wants advertisers to leave, and he wants it pulled from the app and play stores.
he is a pathetic baby-man and I hope he suffocates in a frothy mix of bile and blood. he is objectively evil and he makes the world an uglier place every day he draws breath.
billionaires can see the future and they know fascism is in and capitalism is on the way out. they need us afraid and isolated and desperate and starving and sick. he has lost absolutely nothing of value. money and stocks are meaningless to him, beyond a certain point, and by watching what he wants you to watch you are playing his game. what we should be doing is dragging him off the stage and tearing him to bite size chunks until there's nothing left of him but his memory and his dozens of children who hate him and cheer his passing.
Genuinely 2022 has been an amazing year for tumblr memes
I mean we had so many good ones:
Blorbo from my shows
The variations upon blorbo(glup shitto, skrungly, poor little meow meow)
It's me boy, the PS5 inside your brain
Live Slug reaction
Tumblr Blaze Launch ft. Catholic evangelism and My immortal
Thank goodness he's straight actually
July(Shinso Abe's death, British gov collapse)
September 8th(Queen dead, sansweep)
They unbanned tits- wait no they didn't
The Lettuce is Pm now
Twitterpocalyspe 2 he actually bought it this time
Tits are legal for real this time
2nd Anniversary of Nov 5th ft. Ryan Reynolds
In general something has definitely been in the water this year when we look back at the memes.
Watching Twitter unravel is really something
I wonder what it's like to be a privileged dickweed who has never had anybody say no to you in your entire life, only to have over half of your new company do so loudly, publicly, and in a way that will cost you literal billions and possibly end your entire business empire
Because that's the crux of it really, isn't it?
This is a man who has lied for so long about his skills and capabilities that he believed his throng of fanboys more than he believed the actual truth: that he's a spoiled rich kid who wrote his name on top of everyone else's accomplishments and trampled over countless actually brilliant minds to fool people into thinking he had contributed anything to society.
I'm watching some of the people be like "this has to be part of his plan!! He must WANT Twitter to go under; there's no way he could be this stupid!"
And like, if a miracle falls into his lap and he ISN'T ruined forever after this, hell definitely claim that
But the unvarnished truth is that he's a charlatan, protected by daddy's money and a society that can't say no to rich white men.
I just really enjoy watching a person's bluff get called in such a dramatic way.
Twitterpocalypse -- The Final Countdown(?)
All right. I had thought we were done. I had thought about retiring these, as the last one got a bit out of hand. I had planned on doing other things tonight, but it appears, my people need me.
And this genuinely might be the last one (at least from me). So let's see if I can sum up what's happened since our last episode, and see how many screenshots I can artfully arrange together before Tumblr breaks.
On Tuesday, things were already starting to break.
Twitter 1.0 is dead. Long live Twitter 2.0!
It's just like the nineties, because it's EXTREMEly HARDCORE
Then somehow. After that was when things started getting weird.
Not content to be the technoking who is responsible for the engineering of rockets and for the technology in the exploding cars that make them successful, he decided to become a lawyer too.
He's really good at it.
And then this is what lured me into a false sense of security at *checks timestamp* almost 5pm last night.
That's right. Less than three weeks at the job, looking at the flames spreading all around him, Muskhead decided "I did good", or you know. He got bored. Things were quiet this morning, I thought maybe they'd found the tranq gun again. Nope. I shouldn't have looked away.
Because suddenly on Discord everyone's asking me about my next Twitterpocalypse update. And I'm like "??? I looked away for like A SECOND". And open up the app and...
Reactions have been mixed.
I don't know what you guys are talking about. This is HARDCORE EXTREME. Like a Rob Liefeld drawing. Which is absolutely the way to run one of the most important communication platforms in the entire world.
RIP TWITTER 2.0
Farewell big bird. You were hilarious. You were horrible. You connected so many people, you literally ruined so many lives. Just waiting for the official return of the Fail Whale, as we all know it's coming.
i think the thing that offends me most about The Muskrat completely torpedoing Twitter (which, full disclosure, i do not use and have never used) is that he fully ignores the very human cost of what he's doing. not just laying employees off and firing them, but the fact that so many people, millions of them all around the world, rely on Twitter to get news (including journalism outfits), to advertise (hi, small businesses and artists and musicians), to start and sustain revolutions to oust dangerous and inhumane governments--and to do so all as fast as possible. say what you might about Twitter being unstable and whatnot, but it is also the fastest and easiest way to stay on top of going-on that literally could mean life or death for many people (i'm looking directly at Iran and Ukraine).
Elon does not care that he is staining his hands even more with blood, well beyond the child labour and terrible conditions used to make his explody-cars. he bought a fucking website because he got butthurt when he could have used a much smaller amount of his money to put a sizable and considerable dent in world hunger. but no--all one of his pwecious feewings got ouchied and the world's richest boy-bitch-baby is completely dousing social media in kerosene and laughing as he torches it.
it's sickening and disgusting and the grossest thing is that it won't affect him at all, not really. fines won't help, lawsuits will drag on and out painfully, but he won't suffer, not like the very regular and very real people who have to bear the fallout.
Tumblr: Myth vs Fact
People have been talking a lot about Tumblr on Twitter lately (for no reason whatsoever), but that also means a lot of misinformation is going around. So if you're coming from Twitter, I would like to clear up a few misconceptions, starting with:
Myth: Tumblr is dead. It died with the Dec 2017 porn ban and now it's a ghost town.
Well, okay, yes, it did die with the Dec 2017 porn ban. Mostly. But it got better! On November 5, 2020, Destielpocalypse happened and Tumblr rose from the grave. Since then it hasn't been as busy as in, say, 2015, but it's gotten over its death and has had a steady stream of traffic ever since.
See the rest below the cut!
Myth: Tumblr is where all the drama and discourse starts.
Again, this hasn't been true in quite a while. When Tumblr died in 2017, most of the people responsible for the discourse moved to Twitter. Since then, it's been pretty chill, even after Destielpocalypse resurrected it. People like to say that Twitter is just Tumblr five years ago, and... it's pretty true right now, at least in the drama department. We'd appreciate it if you didn't try to change that.
Myth: Porn is allowed again on Tumblr!
Sadly, this is not true. However, nudity is allowed now. Just no visual depictions of explicit sex acts. Here is a pretty detailed explanation from the CEO of Automattic (the company that owns Tumblr) on why they can't bring porn back right now, even though he would like to.
Note that this only applies to visual depictions. Explicit text (yes, that means smutty fanfic) has always been allowed.
Myth: You should never add anything to a post you reblog.
Actually, one of the really cool things about Tumblr is how a post can grow and develop with every new addition! Simple Tumblr posts have turned into repositories of useful information or complex scifi world-building thanks to users collectively adding cool stuff with each reblog, or sometimes just asking relevant questions for others to answer in their reblogs.
But you don't have to add anything in order to reblog! Most people don't! And if you have something to say that doesn't really add to the post (like "Cute!") or is just for your followers, it can go in the tags.
Which brings us to a related myth:
Myth: There is a complicated system of etiquette around reblogging and tagging and if you don't follow it everyone will point and laugh.
Okay, there are some general etiquette guidelines that have developed that most people follow. Like the above, about only adding onto a post if you have something substantive to say and putting other comments in the tags. I'm sure you've seen rules like this around.
But these are flexible and nobody is going to hate you for violating them now and then. If you reblog something and forget and add "Cute!" to the post instead of in a tag, nobody is going to dogpile you. Worst case, people will click back to the reblog before yours and reblog it from there instead of reblogging yours. Or they might just reblog yours because tbh it doesn't really detract from the post. Just don't be rude, and remember that the OP and everyone who sees the post can see your tags very easily now.
The main thing is please do reblog stuff! That is the #1 way posts get new viewers (see below, most people turn the algorithm off). You don't have to add anything or even tag it; reblogging it is just a way to say "hey followers, look at this neat thing I found!"
Don't let the idea that you're not reblogging "correctly" prevent you from reblogging at all.
Myth: It's cringe to reblog old stuff, or to go through and reblog/like lots of things from someone's blog.
Posts are made for reblogging. We are all here for the reblogging. We want you to reblog. There are posts from 2012 or even older still making the rounds. If someone stumbles on my blog and reblogs a bunch of old stuff in a row, I'm just happy that they enjoyed my blog.
If OP doesn't want a post to be reblogged anymore, they now have the ability to turn reblogging off. Otherwise, reblog away.
Myth: Tumblr is the golden land of no algorithms!
Tumblr is the golden land of allowing you to avoid the algorithm if you so choose.
Most Tumblr users changed these settings years ago and have been living algorithm-free for so long they forget that when you first sign up, it does have an algorithm unless you turn it off.
Here is how to customize your viewing experience (on the app):
From your blog (the little people in the bottom right corner), hit the Settings wheel in the top right corner.
Go to General settings
Go to Dashboard preferences
The first four are all various algorithms. Best stuff first reorders your dash by algorithm - if you turn it off, it's all chronological all the time. 2-4 add extra stuff to your dash that the algorithm thinks you'll like. If you turn them off, you will ONLY see what's on the blogs you follow. (Note: if you turn off "Include followed tag posts" you can still view the tags you follow in the "Your Tags" tab at the top of your dash.)
4b - If you want to view mature stuff (nudes but also violence or anything drug/alcohol related) go to Content You See and turn it on. It's off by default. This is also where you can set tags or keywords you want hidden.
(These settings can all be found in similar places on desktop.)
Even after you do all this, if you really want to see what the algorithm has to say, just go to the For You tab. It will... probably convince you that you made the right choice in turning all of this off. Tumblr's algorithm really isn't that great, and we're fine with that.
Myth: Neil Gaiman is an active Tumblr user.
@neil-gaiman has no social media.
Myth: Supernatural is a television show that went off the air two years ago and is no longer relevant.
Welcome, you are now on the Supernatural website, where even if there wasn't a prequel series currently at this very moment airing, Supernatural will never die. Or will die and be resurrected repeatedly. It will probably creep into something on your dash eventually. Mute a few keywords if you don't want it, but brace for the occasional gif anyhow.