Them releasing the last episode one week later is GENIUS, the hype and the discourse online is gonna be so insane and I’m so here for it. This is the kind of treatment young royals deserves YESS

Sorry if someone beat me to it and if so feel free to ignore this, but ask and you shall receive! TELL ME HOW MO!!! HOW DO YOU DO YOUR MAGIC?! because honestly it blows me away every time and I would really really love to know. 💖💖💖

@teddybluesclues also asked:

HOW DID YOU DO THE COLORED EYE EFFECT IN THE WEREWOLF!AU? :D

Kay, so the idea for this video/gifset was conceived back in… August (yeah that's how long I'd been pushing it back).

I could have gone with a still edit or maybe just the gifs and limit the number of frames to make my life easier but nah. My tired and wired brain which started this 2 days before Halloween said: you're gonna do this and you're gonna do it properly.

So it took 5 - 6 hours to bring this 30-sec fever dream to life 😂. And the secret is *jazz hands*: tracking (basic tut).

The insanely stripped down process for each eye goes like this:

Track it

Slap the colored pupil on

Key out the white (so the pupil fits nicely)

Bonus: keyframe the opacity for fade in/out.

Repeat that 9 more times. Sounds easy enough, right? Except...

Challenge 1: there's 7 sec (183 frames to be exact) of them standing sideways in a medium shot so their eyes are a pain to key out.

Had to make colored pupil 3D because perspectives. Kinn's eye took a whiiiile to get right.

Challenge 2: In the same shot, Kinn fucking blinks TWICE, which naturally throws the tracking and keying off, so I have to go over 'em manually.

This is on me, I knew what I signed up for when I chose this scene lmao. There's 2 hidden cuts to make it shorter tho.

His eyes + eyelash lines are also very dark (love that for him, except) that means mapping them out is a taaaad bit more difficult.

Challenge 3: Porsche's not entirely cooperative either (see those keyframes? More than half were created manually ahahaha).

Truth be told, this scene was chosen after a very thorough selection process (sorry to ep 7, ep 9 & ep 12). His eyes are just so goddamn pretty here and the sniffing and sexual tension and power play.

Porsche's eyes were admittedly a lot more easy to track than Kinn's. Each eye in the first solo shot took 10 - 15 min.

But that last shot… Baby is so sad and nervous and disappointed his eyes flutter and move everywhere. Which again, throws the tracking out of wack. So there goes 2 hours tracking those pretty. sad. phoenix. eyes.

Thank you for letting me rant. Now you know what madness drove me to make this 😂.

And if you’d like any more (no pressure) maybe young-Philippa folk playlist?

LOVED making this, in fact I kind of made two playlists again, whoops, one for when you just want about an hour of folky bops, one for when you have more like 100 minutes to spare...

Every Cell Charged with Stark Common Sense

A playlist for growing up wild in Northumbria and being ready to absolutely wreck any mercenary rock stars who show up to threaten your parents

Steeleye Span - False Knight on the Road

Ivor Cutler Trio - Good Morning! How Are You? Shut Up!

Kathryn Tickell - Ronell's Reel/Bob Thompson's

Martin Carthy & Dave Swarbrick - Byker Hill

Jean-François Dutertre - Le tueur de femmes

Steeleye Span - Twa Corbies

Lal & Norma Waterson - The Pretty Drummer Boy

Fairport Convention - Come All Ye

Anne Briggs - Living by the Water

Kathryn Tickell - Da Slickit Light

Vin Garbutt - The Legend of Roseberry

Martin Carthy & Dave Swarbrick - Sovay

Nic Jones - Billy Don't You Weep for Me

Steeleye Span - The Blackleg Miner

Spriguns of Tolgus - The Lambton Worm

Kate Bush - Violin

Elvis Costello & the Attractions - Shipbuilding

Kathryn Tickell - Johnny Cope/Tipsy Sailor

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen

FCs are Ellie Kendrick and Lucy Farrell. Title is from DK, helpfully sourced by @erinaceina <3

I’m afraid you may gain the impression through my commentary that I don’t think common sense is quite the only guiding principle of small Somervilles...

The principles of a Pippa playlist: 1) she is a Weird Little Girl 2) she is a feral country child raised by folkies. Inevitably this means she is a fan of certain grim folk songs, but she's not really into murder ballads per se, though she objects to the latter aspect (ballad) more than the former (murder). If these silly maidens weren't so interested in falling in love with men they wouldn't get murdered, would they?!

So: 1) False Knight on the Road It may be a boy in the song, but I can well imagine Pippa playing at telling the Devil to go stuff himself by means of riddling answers and a mean fiddle riff. 2) Ivor Cutler One of her parents' records that small Pippa gloms onto, to their slight bemusement. An eccentric Scotsman singing eccentric songs and telling eccentric stories while playing harmonium - Pippa has a brief obsession with the harmonium because of it and insists on being told the story of 'Mary's Drawer' at bedtime (see Pippa's extended EP, below) 3) Lots of Kathryn Tickell on this!! The album is early '80s but it's A Sign that she released anything that early and can therefore be on the Pippa playlist - she's an accomplished fiddle player and Northumbrian pipes player and definitely an icon for Philippa. 4) Byker Hill Also loads of these boys on the playlist as a duo and with Steeleye Span/Fairport. Dave Swarbrick was one of the best and most well-known folk fiddlers of the revival and Marty Carty is folk royalty. This being a local song, of course Pippa loves it. 5) Le tueur de femmes She picks this up from one of the records Gideon brings back from his travels (technically this album seems to be from the '90s but I'm using Folk License for this, plus the LP might have been released earlier in France. The arrangement will certainly have been used by French musicians in the '70s). She doesn't understand the lyrics for a long time but knows there's a strange sinister quality to it, and probably at some point clicks that it's the same song as The Outlandish Knight on her parents' Nic Jones record. So it's the Bluebeard story where the 'final girl' drowns the serial killer and goes home to tell her pet parrot not to snitch on her for running off with, almost being killed by, and then herself killing a strange foreign knight. A Pippa vibe. 6) Twa Corbies More morbid folk! Ravens discussing the dead body of the knight they're about to feast on. With added Dave Swarbrick on the fiddle. 7) Lal & Norma Waterson More folk royalty! A happily G-rated take on the young girl sneaking off to join the armed forces - she doesn't end up having to marry anyone at the end, or being discovered because she gets pregnant by her captain. It's just that a lady falls in love with her and then she gets outed and sent home. But she did have fun playing the drum and travelling before that! 8) Fairport Convention - Come All Ye There are probably times in Contrary Teenage Philippa's life when she claims to be 'over' folk rock and to have 'outgrown' it. But put this track on and she won't be able to resist singing along. 9) This is what she claims to have outgrown folk rock for, so fair play to her - Anne Briggs is a gem of the folk revival, and probably reminds Pippa of her mum, though Kate's voice isn't as high. An early indication for Philippa that folk heroes *can* write their own songs and those can be just as good as the trad stuff! 10) More Kathryn Tickell on the pipes :) 11) Vin Garbutt A local folkie singing in local dialect! It's a bit further south than Pippa's country technically, but another miserable story turned into quite a bop. For anyone struggling with the words, it's about Oswald of Northumbria's baby son and the prophecy that he would die by drowning - his mother took him to the top of the hill Roseberry Topping in Teeside to prevent this, but baby Oswy went toddling off and tripped and drowned in a spring at the summit while she slept. She died of grief and was buried nearby, which is the folk etymology for the village name 'Osmotherly' (< Oswy's mother). 12) Pippa can't resist the fiddle part on this, though she thinks it's silly that Sovay gives the gold and watch back to her useless boyfriend, she'd have shot him and taken the ring too :P 13) Billy Don’t You Weep for Me So, I first heard this song when Jim Moray played it live and in his intro he said he remembered hearing it as a child and coming to the conclusion that he must Never Ever sit on a soldier's lap or else he'd end up dying a miserable death. I can see baby Pippa drawing similar conclusions and again getting quite into the song's savagery, but also spending hours practicing her fiddle because whatever he's *doing* with the guitar there she wants to be able to do with the fiddle. (This version is from a record released in the 2000s, but it was recorded live before Nic's accident and I'd bet there was a version on one of his early Topic albums. N.b. I want you to know that Nic Jones on Pippa playlists has an extra layer of ouch because he was badly injured in a road accident in the '80s and couldn't play afterwards, having been one of the most astonishingly brilliant folk musicians of the century. He is slowly, slowly returning to live shows now with his son playing the more complex parts while he does the chords he's able to, and he's an absolute sweetheart who's just happy to play for people again. But in the AU that's Christian's fate - Gideon isn't so lucky). 14) Blackleg MIner Speaking of savage, local songs, you don't get much more savage than this classic anti-scab song from County Durham. Pippa's certainly heard mum and dad sing this one, and in the '80s it has a new resonance. 15) The Lambton Worm An underappreciated part of the folk rock scene but certainly part of Kate and Gideon's record collection! And this is another local song, from Sunderland this time, about a dragon and a knight - I bet Gideon played this loads to baby Pippa and she adored it, but probably sympathised with the dragon despite Gideon warning her that it ate unwary children who stayed up late listening to mum and dad's jam sessions with friends when they were meant to be asleep! 16) Kate Bush - Violin ...do I need to explain this? Is it possible to explain this? The stirrings of baby Pippa's pop sensibilities. She can't be sniffy about Kate Bush because she's just so damned *weird* and earnest with it, and somehow gets to number one in the charts anyway!! 17) Shipbuilding This is one that isn't released until '82 and I think Philippa really latches onto it in the wake of Gideon's death (exact timeline still a bit up in the air). It feels like a song he'd really have appreciated, and with it she starts thinking politically about music in a new way as well. It's about working class communities and how the news of the Falklands War was bound to the promise of new work and economic revival, although at the cost of human lives, many of which would come from the same communities. Not sure Pippa ever feels strong enough to sing it or cover it herself until her work with activists in TRC-era (~1985) but it's a really important song for her. 18) Kathryn Tickell on the fiddle this time :) 19) Come on Eileen Sampling folk, adding in a three-person strings section, and releasing this unavoidable hit, Pippa can't really help but love Dexys, though she's drawn to the song very reluctantly and despairs every time it gets stuck in her head until she learns to just enjoy it.

There's an extended version of the Pippa playlist, on which you'll also find:

*Pentangle - Light Flight Another band from the folk rock revival, pop this in the same category as Fairport Convention - Come All Ye, above. *Billy Williams - When Father Papered the Parlour I was going to put Flanders & Swann on here, thinking Gideon and Kate would have been fans, but their Wikipedia page ended up annoying me too much (private school boys being smarmy ho ho ho) so I turned to music hall songs I remembered hearing on a cassette of 'children's favourite's from the 1950s' that I inexplicably had when growing up. I like to think Pippa would enjoy this too, but on the shorter playlist Ivor Cutler fills that eccentric role, and it took enough self-restraint not to just add a billion of his songs anyway. *Shirley Collins - Space Girl Just because it's fun!! Maybe something Kate sings and Pippa's like 'nooooo mum you're being embarrassing!' but she likes it really. The Imagined Village do an *excellent* modern version. *Arlo Guthrie - Motorcycle Song Also fun! Also a record Gideon has brought back from his travels. Gideon also rides a motorbike. And yes, Pippa knows all the words to Alice's Restaurant by the age of ten. *Johnny Cash - I Walk the Line (live at Folsom) Gideon did lots of charity work with prisoners and particularly had contacts in the US he worked with, so this is a favourite album in Flaw Valleys. *Planxty - Smeceno Horo The playlist needed some Planxty. Big boys of Irish folk(/rock) with really wide-ranging interests. I saw this Bulgarian tune and had to put it on the Pippa album because it's a really cheerful load of noise and I think Gideon is in the habit of travelling for his tunes a lot, so brings stuff like this back and listens to Planxty to check what they've found, too. It gives Pippa a really good basis for jamming with people at St Mary's, Adam will certainly have some similar influences. *Tom Lehrer - The Elements Another from Gideon's travels. Pippa is a bit of a swot at school, but no one else can understand how learning the lyrics to this song is easier than just learning what they're meant to learn for class. She doesn't care, she thinks it's a bop (though she's a bit suspicious of him for the whole 'poisoning pigeons' thing). *Ivor Cutler Trio - Mary's Drawer A Somerville vibe to this whole thing, really. *Ian Campbell Folk Group - Poor Old Horse A sea shanty about debt in coastal communities and the 'dead horse tradition'. *Fairport Convention - Si Tu Dois Partir File under: folk rock Pippa can't help but love. A lovely fiddle part, plus a good way to practice her schoolgirl French. *Lindisfarne - Fog on the Tyne THE local bop, if you will.

I posted 429 times in 2022

That's 428 more posts than 2021!

14 posts created (3%)

415 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dyonisia96

@nightscavalry

@johannesviii

@alyona11

@lelelego

I tagged 391 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#yes - 5 posts

#babies - 4 posts

#wow - 4 posts

#also op your board game q made me sad bc i've literally never played any of those and only heard of like two this girl had no childhood - 3 posts

#doctor who - 3 posts

#owo it's all of dem space-time blorbos!!!! - 2 posts

#the stars don't come out because they never left - 2 posts

#omg - 2 posts

#except i didn't play fnaf but have binged playthroughs from like five different people aaaa - 2 posts

#why am i in love with leela's outfit - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if anything they barely interact with the tardis in what i've been reading and i've read like twenty-five books all about different doctors

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Seeing Sandman posts on my feed is so confusing because for such a long time the only Dream I saw shit about was that Minecraft guy and every time I see Dream my first though is The fuck that smp guy did this time and my brain takes a fucking minute to process that it's a wrong fandom

3 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

WAIT DID THEY REALLY JUST

Did they just take THE SAME Bee and Puppycat and make it LONGER for Netflix??????

Does that mean I didn't have to rewatch it twice in a row to comprehend at least a lil bit what tf was going on???? I had to just wait for a normal show?????

Not like I mind, the cartoon is gorgeous either way (I'm on ep one btw and I think at least the first of Bee's weird dreams looked cooler in the og show) BUT MAN

I never thought I'd actually see the day

6 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#3

Petition for Dana Terrace to leave our boi Hunter the fuck alone. Our blorbo has suffered enough.

7 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

#2

Hey hermits of tumblr here's a fun challenge for you:

Describe your character quirks i.e. list out habits and traits you have that would make you stand out if you were a character in a work of fiction. This is an exercise in finding something unique about each of us. And also a possible help for writers looking for something to add to their characters ;)

Here's my ✨ character quirks ✨

Hates wearing makeup but likes the process of someone applying makeup on her or doing her hair

Actually uses a set of like a hundred aquarelle pencils instead of eye liner/lipstick/masquerade makeup when she feels extra fancy (usually ends up making rainbow eye liner)

Sometimes acts like a cat around friends she's comfortable with (rubs head, lies with head on knees, purrs when receives pats)

Has a comedic amount of cats (four) and wants more

Has zero coherence in clothing style a bunch of fandom clothes being the only constant thing

Wears exclusively converse spring through autumn (as long as the weather is good enough)

Carries a book around most of the time; in fact spent her prom reading and tuning out the music (which she is extremely proud of and will tell everyone at the first opportune moment)

Swears a whole fucking lot

Quotes memes/films/TV shows a lot or at least really wants to with the only thing stopping her the fact that she knows a quote she has in mind is too niche to be understood

Absolutely cannot sleep with the lights on or during the day; will wake up at dawn if the curtains aren't drawn

Grandma friend: will try to feed you everything there is in the house if you come visit

Some people spend tons of money on clothes; others can't walk past a make-up shop; this bitch has no self-control when entering a bookstore (in fact she would refuse to spend too much on food but then she goes near a bookstore and wakes up an hour later with two bags of books)

Compliments friends in fairly smooth pick-up lines at any given opportunity

8 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

19 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Mannnn tell me how I woke up and I’m STILL mad at them. Then they posted that cornball ass annoying 💚D–6💚 shit and I wanted to comment “😒” on it SO bad but I decided I’m in a cold shoulder mood more than I’m in a snarky mood, so they got no engagement whatsoever. I ain’t even click on the tweet and open the app, I could see it from the notification tab so I slid left and finished my breakfast. How about I took a nap and when I woke up 4 hours later to get my bunny his morning salad, I was STILL mad. Stirring my coffee. Thinking of how audacious it is to be wealthy in NYC talm bout some damn “I’m bored” boy if you catch the ferry to the island and go see Lady Liberty or some shit!? All the places they see in movies & he ain’t wanna go look at the shit irl or something?? And then Mr. “I missed Korean food as soon as the plane took off” nigga if you don’t walk over to Woori Jib! I ate there during a few of my trips to NY. If MY Floridian ass knows it exists, your manager should have been able to stumble across that information without trying. Yes you’re allowed to miss home but you just got off the plane!! Not too mad at Jeff cus he hardly talks to anyone or posts anyway. He is a man who for the most part is an Equal Opportunity Non-communicator. I’m salty at mark cus of his “finally” shit but at least while they were here he put some enthusiasm in his tweets and did so IN ENGLISH *first*, since ya know, he was supposed to be talking to US anglophones (glares at Ty and Doyoung). I heard there’s a TikTok going around of him saying how he’s happy to see all the diversity in the crowds or something to that effect. I’ll probably be un-mad at him first, unless there is an apology (which we know won’t happen) from Ty or anyone in the group. SM apparently only responds to boycotts, so i feel like justified in more ways than one for thinking that the next album’s songs can stay in Korea and in Korean charts & shows too, since they wanna gatekeep new performances for only precious kfans 🤡 Saw a post last night that stan twt cooking up a plan to make sure next release, probably a repackage, doesn’t come anywhere near the Billboard charts and ykw? GOOD.

[[MORE]]

Your treat for us was to perform the 2 songs you literally have just finished promoting in SK within 3 days of arriving to LA & that’s…it? & music from 2 releases ago or more which means most of the setlist was more than 2 years old. Yeah everyone wanted Sticker and Favorite but that was over a year ago lol. Collabs have happened since then & recent NEW solos. Not even a mini or EP but a whole ass album that we helped shoot sales through the roof, came out, like!!?

We let a wholeeeee lotta shit slide over the years but I’m seriously over it dude. SM half-assed this “tour” with poorly planned show appearances, badly organized fan event, sketchy staff…Wtf is this “new music only for Korea concert” shit?! SM fr needs to work on their marketing tactics cus this “Kfans first, kfans only” style plan, this “do whatever it takes to stay in not only the good graces of, but rather, the best graces of Korean fans (when ifans have carried them since mf 00:01 of Firetruck and we all know it. Also, we have long confirmed music sales aren’t the bulk of musicians income, it’s TOURING) who absolutely are gonna drop like a bug near a can of Raid when someone goes public with a relationship, is NOT the move.

It’s like they got too comfortable just like a guy does in a relationship. If we wanted to be ignored we can go stan a kpop group with NO foreigners & a company who can’t afford staff to ensure immediate subtitles and regular comebacks, etc. Or even someone from a midsize company who aspires to have a global audience whether they have foreigners in the group or not & is willing to put in more than the bare minimum. Like wtf is SM doing, why are they self-sabotaging when *globalalization* is supposed to be the point of 127 to begin with??

Idc what any group says, BTS’ fame is what they want. Why the hell wouldn’t it be? There’s no shame in admitting, there’s no shame in wanting to be a household name around the world lol. if you want to be at the top fr then you need to stay humble & respect all your fans, cus as someone who helped make it happen, I most certainly did not bust my ass and go that hard for them while feeling disrespected, like??Bighit (it’s past tense so I’m calling them BH) could’ve done better because there were times when they just let us do all the work without promoting the boys well but the boys themselves made it feel worth it because they were happy and thankful to be surpassing levels, that when they became trainees didn’t even register as doable. BH could’ve done better on merch for us too instead of only giving the good shit to JPN army, but that’s a separate issue & again, wasn’t BTS’ choice. Even with Namjoon’s minor goof (I think ppl who aren’t Black &/or debut stans know about it. & I sincerely think at the time that when it came out of his mouth he didn’t understand why it’s problematic…and also I mean. He wasn’t wrong…) and major goof (you know the one) and the WOH incident, he earned forgiveness because he seemed to work with sincerity. AHL definitely helped and to this day no one has done that extent of hiphop boot camp (yes, I am saying that Svt’s lil trip doesn’t compare, you interpreted that correctly).

Do I think there’s a magic formula to get a “““next BTS”””? Hell nah lol That there was a perfect storm (Bigbang had laid the framework, BAP fell off (a big fuck u to their record label btw. We don’t speak the name of that dirtbag but they were doing REALLY good intl especially over here), BlockB messing up w/ the SE fans + Zico fucking up (over… & over… again) + not playing their cards right at ALL, the consistency of their sound rather than it being a 1 era dress-up party, sns (on a shared account mind you! They didn’t have personals!) & talking to all of us not just kfans, AHL, making connections w/ Black artists & maintaining them, having a solid anglophone, helping make their own music frequently, doing their endorsements all or nothing without having 1 known member– I could go on. Point is, the exact formula isn’t possible but it’s not completely unobtainable to be in the ballpark. Neos could be in the ballpark even w/o compromising their 127-ess & sound if they worked at balancing their fandom ((+ not acting like Europe (and Africa, but idt kpop will hit that for a min)) doesn’t exist). The pandemic didn’t help them but they didn’t try to make up for not being able to travel to non-Korean fans.

Ffs kpop is becoming almost trendy instead of just a niche! And the top group is on an official hiatus! & no one has enlisted yet! There’s a void- STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT YOU FOOLS!! It’s not even just SM to blame, they have their own personal accts in various sites, they let the staff have the power by not pushing harder for using the English speakers they have more & obeying when they get told to only speak in Korean. What’s SM gonna do, yank them from the lineup?? If you have fans either as a group or akgaes & they are so flaky that you communicating in multiple languages makes them angry enough to not buy albums like I Superhuman era & leave, let them go!! You’ll get more fans just out of appreciation for the fact that you did the right thing instead of caving in to spoiled nonsensical brattiness. I am so incredibly annoyed by them having no backbones bro. Get a spine or always stay at the mercy of unreasonable ppl willing to drop you for being a fair person and a good idol.

The podcast thing premiered and while I have zero interest in it Jared and Jensen are in the first two episodes so I sat down and listened to them and now I’m gonna give y’all a speedrun of what was said so you don’t have to- unless you want to then do whatever the fuck you want.

This post contains both episodes the boys are in thus it got really long so I will be putting the contents of the second ep under a read more.

The first episode is about the Pilot- sort of the first half is more about the casting process the boys went through but we’ll get into that; I absolutely hate the music in this, you know how music can influence your emotions? There’s sounds that make you happy, sounds that make you sad, the music in this makes me angry. My brain no likey.

From here on Rob Benedict will appear as RB and Richard Speight Jr. as RS. This is just for convenience sake.

RB and RS do get some things right at the beginning: j2 are the leads of the show, the core of the show is the brother’s relationship, and without the two of them there would be no show.

They do a quick recap of the episode.

RB reveals that he has never seen the Pilot before, he watched it for the first time a couple days prior to recording this. *internally screams* 🙃

Moving on, Jared remembers the casting and the filming for the Pilot pretty clearly. He thinks it's because shooting the Pilot was like a movie. They had months to get used to the script and get to know their characters when they did the Pilot.

Jared compared their audition more to a meeting because he and Jensen already had a relationship with WB, they had both done work for them at the time. He also remembers how since there was no SM they would be swapped for radio press tours meaning if Jensen did a press tour then the next time it would be his turn and vice versa. So they’d have to wake up at like 2:45am in Van to be on the phone call at 3 to do an interview that would air at 6 in the east coast and they’d do like 4 hours worth of radio interviews before going to set to film.

They both remember meeting each other. They didn’t have a traditional chemistry read, the network studio test acted as their chemistry read.

They both knew David Nutter, and Kripke prior to the audition. Jared had met Nutter when he was a guest star on an episode of ER that Nutter directed and Kripke he met independently. Jensen knew Nutter from Smallville because he had directed the Pilot for that show.

Jensen tells how when he read for David and Kripke at Wonderland, he read for Sam originally and then asked if he could read for Dean. They looked at each other, shared a laugh and told him he didn’t have to, the first time Jensen read for Dean was at the ranch when he met Jared.

Jared had a holding deal with WB when he originally read for Sam, which meant he couldn’t audition for any other network. Kripke thought he was great but they were looking for a smart Duchovny type and he didn’t think Jared fit the bill so, Spilo, Jared’s manager, told him how smart Jared actually is and about his academic achievements.

When it comes to the chemistry with Jensen, Jared says he felt it kinda instantly. He remembers his and Jensen’s first convo in detail, and it’s actually kind of cute to hear him describe how it went because he describes how Jensen went slowly softening up as their conversation progressed.

Jensen used to be a little shit, he shares that back in the day when he would be in the audition waiting rooms he would start making small talk with the people that seemed the most nervous- those that were pacing, sitting in their chairs rocking a little bit, reading their lines over and over again. He’s not sure if he did it just to eliminate the tension in the room or if he was just messing with them doing it to knock them off their game but he liked popping that little bubble of focus 😂

And then RB asks if he thinks that’s what he was doing to Jared in that moment when he initiated conversation with him in the audition waiting room, Jensen he says no because they weren't going against each other. And then Jared mentions how even to this day once you’re about to test for a studio network you've signed a 6yr contract so if you go to the waiting room and they say they’ll take you that’s the next 6 years of your life, so you want to get to know the person you may be spending the next 6 years with; he also makes a comparison to marriage and how it’s like if you have 10 minutes before having to get married to this person you wanna ask the important stuff like where they’re from and the family history.

We have reached the around halfway mark into the podcast and you know it’s halfway because of the annoying loud music that slightly overlaps with the talking for no real reason. This is where we would usually hear sponsors but they don’t have any so it’s just this pointless addition.

Asked if they felt they had something at the time when they finished shooting the Pilot. Jared says that Peter Roth who was running WB studios at the time believed in the show and believed in him and Jensen, and Jared hadn’t realized how much he believed in them until after the fact. Because at the time they were hiring big names and really talented people, and spending a ton of money doing long days, their cinematographer had won an Oscar for a short film he had directed so they were surrounded by people that had either been working for years and/or were outrageously talented so he knew they had made a great product but the industry is intense you don’t really know what’s going to happen. He knows he has a job after getting a check in the mail after having filmed it; mentions how he had done a few Pilots prior to spn and how Jensen even did a show where he shot 7 eps only for FOX to shelve it after putting 15million dollars into it.

They start mentioning shows that came out in the 2004-2006 era and RB mentions a show he was in called Threshold, mistake on his part because they start ribbing him about it which was actually pretty funny especially since he actually sounded flustered.

RS says visually the Pilot is more lit like a horror movie, it's darker. Jared says that was the initial idea but that’s unsustainable; they would have 3 hour lighting set ups sometimes. In the time that it took to shoot the Pilot they could have shot 2 episodes.

When they shot the Pilot how much did they think about what their characters situation was in terms of like the scene where Dean says “Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days” and did they think about what their life was cause Dean essentially didn’t have a home? Jensen ties it in to the question of when they knew that they had something that could be a success, and says that he thinks it was the day they shot that particular scene of Dean saying “Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days” which is also when they shot the fight scene between the brothers in Sam’s apartment, and also matching that with when he saw the playback of him kicking the door in when Jess is on fire and Dean goes back for Sam, he remembers seeing the shot and thinking ‘that’s some heroic shit’ and thinking they could get 3 or 4 seasons out of the show. Also, the same day they shot that fight scene they went outside that night to shoot the final scene of the episode.

Jared shares how the end sequence of the Pilot was multi part, so they shot Dean kicking in the door, Sam getting cookies and laying on the bed, seeing Jess’s body on location at USC. Then in a studio they shot the wide angle Nutter wanted of Sam on the bed with the room on fire with live fire; they filmed that part, Sam on the bed with the fire all around him and Dean running in and grabbing him with actual fire, there was even a whole fire department on the sidelines. Safety people told him that as soon as he got warm to run, and Jensen remembers there was a take where Jared was really emotional and he was fighting so hard against him, and Jensen started to feel warm and instead of him going ‘we gotta go!’ he said ‘i’m getting hot we gotta go!’ 😂

Neither of them were around when they shot Jess and Mary on the ceiling so they don’t know how that was filmed. They met Sam Smith and JDM the day the scene where Mary burns up was filmed.

Everyday was a big day, and there were a lot of long days. Jared remembers Jensen telling him about Ray LaMontagne's debut album, and he got the CD (which is freaking adorable that he would go get a CD just because Jensen told him about it) and he thinks he managed to go through the entire album in the time it took him to drive from his house in North Hollywood to the set. And there was one day when they didn’t shoot anything after lunch; it’s when Sam pulls up and the woman in white appears and you see the inside of the house, after lunch they start setting something up, 6 hours later it still isn’t finished so the boys got sent home.

Kripke never gave them info about what was going to happen, the boys were along for the ride just like everyone else only finding things out as they got their scripts. And that model never really changed, there were a few episodes like French Mistake where they got called up and asked how they felt about it, but for the most part they would find things out as they got scripts; and Kripke didn’t share what he was planning with anybody.

To wrap it up, do they remember the moment they saw the Impala and thought it was a cool car? Jensen remembers reading it in the script, it was talking about a classic car and he thought it was going to be something like a Mustang or a Challenger so the Impala was kind of left field in the best way possible.

Jared recalls how in one of the first conversations he had with Kripke he asked him if he had read Joseph Cambell and Jared replied that he had because his mom taught Heroes, Myths and Legends in High School and was an English Major, and his family is big on reading so he was familiar with the archetypes and classic story tropes; and he’s also always been a 60’s Chevy or classic car fan. His first ever car was a '61 Camero which he’s almost done restoring he’s been working on it for the past 10yrs, and also had a ‘65 Mustang which he restored a bit and then sold so he’s always been into late ‘60’s muscle cars so seeing Baby for the first time was like ‘Yeah!’ he’s not sure he had ever seen one before in his life.

Like I said, that wraps up the….interview(?) portion of the podcast. Then they say there are upcoming messages but there are none so that’s pointless.

They are doing a bitch count to count how many times in the series ‘bitch’ or ‘son of a bitch’ were said *long suffering sigh*

They’re also highlighting things that make the show a little dated like the computer monitors. Doing a creepy kid count. They share some random trivia about the ep like how the note from Jessica on the cookies was written by Holly Ollis the long time publicist at the WB. Or how this is one of two eps fimed in the US, the other being the Bloodlines backdoor pilot.

The speak a little bit on the mythology of the ep, and RB does one of the- if not the worst pronunciation of La Llorona I've ever heard. They allegedly did re-search for this but they couldn't find the man a clip to help him learn how to say Llorona properly.

They go through the cast a la IMDB and if you stick around past the end music there’s some excerpts tucked away one being Jared sharing a story about how he used to get mistaken for Barry Watson - an actor on 7th Heaven - and one time his girlfriend at the time, Sandy, was flying to Van to see him and the guy sitting next to her had asked what she was headed to Van for, she told him it was to visit her boyfriend who's filming a show and when she tells him what show it is the guy went "no way, is he the short one or the one from 7th Heaven?".

Moving on to Wendigo.

RS for some reason says they talk about Kim Manners but I listened to this whole thing and unless I zoned out, which is admittedly a very real possibility, they don’t actually talk about him they just mention him. I don’t know if they did talk about him and then it just got cut out and they forgot to edit the script. I do know I didn’t like the way RS talked about Manners though the way he says “he [Kim Manners] didn’t survive the run of the show, he passed away somewhere in there” it just sounded kind of flippant to me….I don’t know I didn’t like it.

Anyways same as the last, they do a mini recap of the ep before starting the interview portion.

Jared mentions how they call Wendigo episode number one. This is because Pilots are not numbered.

Four months passed between this episode being filmed and the Pilot.

When they got picked up, they had to travel to New York for the upfront presentations and afterwards they went to Nobu with some of the execs from the studio network. And that’s when Jared found out they wouldn’t be filming in LA that they’d be filming in Vancouver.

Jared and Jensen mention how they spend their summer between the filming of the Pilot and the filming of Wendigo together hanging out and doing their assigned fight training. Jensen shares the story about how one time their trainer put them in the ring to spar, Jared hit him hard on the nose and when he went to do it again Jensen got him with a right hook that made Jared’s ear ring which is when their trainer told them that was enough, got them out of the ring and never made them spar like that again.

This episode marks the beginning of the “Dean voice” and Jensen talks about how that came to be; that came about after meeting Jeffrey and seeing parts of the Pilot and seeing what he was doing as dad. Jensen figured if this is a first born son who idolizes his father, he wants to be like his father and is going to imitate him. And John has such a rich voice, maybe that’s something Dean inherited from his father and also leans into it a little bit to be like dad. It didn’t happen in the Pilot because he hadn't met Jeffrey and seen what he was going to do to the character yet, it wasn’t till he got to Van and started work on Wendigo that he realized that’s something he could add to the character.

They tell the Stanley Park story about how Kripke sat them down and told them the show boils down to them and their relationship.

RS didn’t know this is where the iconic line of “Saving people, hunting things. The family business” had come from *screams into the distance*

Jared is a big fan of Paul Newman and Robert Redford, and Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid so he freaked out a bit when he met Donnelly Rhodes told him what a big fan he was and asked him questions about his scene in the movie.

Then we reach the halfway point but instead of just music they pass the clip about how messages are coming. But they don't have sponsors.

David Nutter was the Pilot King, if he directed the Pilot of a show odds were it would get picked up. Supernatural was the 11th Pilot he did and 11th to go to series.

They mention Dawn who sort of inherited them when the WB- UPN merger happened and how she didn’t like them.

Jensen says he remembers Nutter never sitting down, he was always close to set, had an endless supply of energy even though you never saw him eat or drink anything, gentle with the actors.

Jared says he imagines that what Nutter realized is when shooting a Pilot cast it correctly, cast it with people whose instincts go towards what their characters will be and don’t overdirect them; Jared doesn’t feel he truly knew Sam until at least towards the end of the first season, he was still learning as an actor and he didn’t want the Pilot to be the best Sam Winchester is he’s gonna have to evolve, and Nutter seemed to get that he wasn’t a micromanager he set the scene and stage for them to do the best they could.

On the experience of forging the SPN crew family. For Jared from episode 1 to the Benders which was episode 15 he was focused on Jensen and Sam was focused on Dean. It wasn’t until he felt he had hit his stride with Sam that he realized he could spend time getting to know the crew cause several of his first eps were spend trying to learn things about Sam. So by the time he got to know them the crew had spend months seeing him and Jensen working together in concert in a friendly but creative, efficient way so there was a mutual trust there, they knew him and Jensen were good dudes who cared about what they were doing.

Jensen feels they got to know their crew quickly because it was just him and Jared so the crew was the extension of who they were surrounding themselves with and they quickly became bonded; they also had a lot of crew members they were contemporary in age with which helped.

They filmed the Pilot, then Wendigo then they did Hook Man which got moved because it needed more work, followed by Dead in the Water, and Phantom Traveler which is when they met Bob Singer who until then had been in LA essentially baby-sitting Kripke who was only around 30-33 when the show got picked up. That’s young for a showrunner so Singer was kind of hired to be the veteran and keep Eric within the lines.

At the end of the interview the boys talk a little bit about their projects.

Jared says Walker s2 will have 20 episodes. And also mentions that the prequel that was announced Walker: Independence has actually been in the works since January before Walker even premiered.

Jensen says the network has script in hand for the Winchesters and he should have news by January. This was recorded in 2021 by the way so that January means now not in 2023.

There's another clip announcing a message break that doesn’t go to messages. An excerpt from I think a future episode with Bob Singer where he tells the story about how originally Kripke had written the episode subsequent to the Pilot as a ghost story but the head of the WB didn’t want them to do another ghost story right after the Pilot so Kripke came up with the Wendigo and it was expensive and took like 10 days to film, and the network was not happy at the cost.

And by this time any shred of attention I was paying to this thing was gone so....

It wasn't as bad as it could have been however it's badly edited, I wouldn't consider it a re-watch podcast because first of all it seems Rob and Richard have only seen some episodes of the first season so they're not re-watching it they're watching it for the first time, they do so individually they don't share their experience watching it, and they don't go through the ep with the guests it's just general talk about the episode. The company producing this is apparently interested in listening to feedback and going to be making changes and so called improvements. So I don't know if these are things that will change.

Sincerely, I don't care. I have no plans to listen to more of this podcast, and quite frankly if the boys appear again I'm not sure I would listen to it. There were some interesting parts and I love listening to the boys talk but...let me put it this way there was a point where I paused this to go do something and then forgot it existed for like 20mins, if it hadn't been because I had my notes for this post open I would have forgotten that I hadn't finished listening. And that happened on the first episode.

This podcast is currently only available in audio form, I don't know if there are plans to ever release it in video format. If you wish to listen to the eps yourself you can find both episodes on Apple podcasts as Supernatural Then and Now.

Part 3 in my series of 5 obvious things Lauren Seal completely misunderstands about storytelling... screen time utilization

Any great story focuses on the right characters / plot at the right time and doesn't dilly dally for no reason. There is more leeway and freedom to meander and soak up the world in books, but in television, screen time is the biggest constraint on a production (budget aside). All things considered equal though, on an "hour long" network television show, you have roughly 41-42 minutes of screen time for each episode.

That may sound like a lot. Trust me, it's not. It's a delicate balance. You don't want to cram unnecessary scenes or plot points that eat up time but you also want to make sure everything you're trying to accomplish is done at a certain pace. This usually requires many outlines and established tent poles for the overall season plan, which is one reason it's completely baffling that after TWO years, the KE season 4 scripts were not completed as a whole. Instead, actors are receiving them week to week, which means things are constantly in flux, and for a serial show with already short seasons, that is bad news.

Phoebe Waller-Bridge said of season 1 that "Every moment in this show exists so these two women can end up alone in a room together." There you go. It's an incredibly simple outline, which she implemented with passion and intricacy. The goal of a season doesn't have to be convoluted. In fact, it's better in some ways if it's simple. The quality comes or goes based on the execution.

LN herself even said the show is about the relationship between these 2 women and how what they've received from each other makes them whole. (I'm not looking up the quote because she sucks. Close enough.) You all know she says a lot of things.

Reflect back on seasons 1 & 2 (whether you liked 2 or not -- there were a couple eps I hated) and try to think of a scene where either Eve or Villanelle were not present. There are very few. VE were the anchors, both alone and together. Every interaction they had pressed the story forward.

Sure, fans would've loved to see more of this or that, but the heart was there, in tact, and beating.

Similarly, there isn't a scene I can think of in Luke Jennings' books that doesn't contain one or both characters. They are not simply placed in the story. The story is about them and their relationship and how it evolves given the circumstances thrown their way. Yes, there's a plot. But it revolves around them and not the other way around. You can't, like LN did countless times in season 4 (and what even happened in season 3), take VE out of the narrative and have anything make sense. They ARE the story.

Because it was never about Konstantin or Carolyn or the 12, not ultimately. They're side players and were always meant to be as such. Nothing against actors or characters, it's just the truth. This wasn't their story, but THE story was pushed aside to make room for them. And that was a mistake...

The interesting thing about television vs forms of media with little to no time constraints, is that to show (and tell) enough story, you often have to enter the scene in the middle of the action and leave before the end.

This is why there are always wishes like "oh, I wonder what happened in 2x05 after the kitchen but before leaving the house." There's intrigue and mystery left there because there simply isn't time to see VE sorting their shit out (or not) in every episode. Either way, we don't know what happened. Maybe the writers did, maybe not.

Television is laid out around the gaps and usually further dissected into 4-6 acts, depending on the episode length, network preference, and commercial schedule.

LN doesn’t get that. Cramming new characters in and having to give them a reason for being there (which she didn't anyway) is a tenuous process at any point, but a terrible idea in a final season if those characters are not going to play an INTEGRAL role in the ending. NONE OF HERS DID.

Carolyn in the 70s. Cut. Pam with her weird side romance kissing a carnival guy. Cut. Gunn (though intriguing with the potential to be well utilized if she was brought in much earlier). Cut. Yusuf. Cut. V's foray into Christianity. Cut. Hugo's continued existence? Cut. And sorry if you liked them, but Helene & Eve also had no place in the FINAL season and I will not budge on that. Cut.

I bet I could give LN half a season of screen time back in 10 minutes for all the scenes and motivations that were not only unnecessary, but full on time wasters. Time that she wasted while NOT including things the story NEEDED for a resolution.

Twenty-two episode seasons can skate by with some "filler." QUALITY eight episode seasons cannot.

And LN proved that time and again by keeping VE apart just because she didn't know what to do with them together.

I guarantee you each and every one of us could've written a season with the 2 of them working together (in whatever capacity -- sometimes begrudgingly with delicious angst) throughout. They had so much shit, so much history to work through. Give an overall prompt as to what the season should accomplish and we could churn out in a week what she had 2 years to do... and it would be infinitely better.

What was V even doing all season and WHY was Eve doing whatever her thing was?

LN decided to keep VE at odds, for reasons I guess?! and then tried to cram an entire series worth of relationship development into roughly 15 min (pre boat) into one episode before ripping it all apart again with no rhyme or reason.

The romantic aspect of accepting this relationship as what they both wanted AND needed in episode 8 should've been revealed over half a season. Not half an episode. And the first half of the season at that.

Neither Eve nor Villanelle know what has happened to the other since the end of season 2!! They never had an honest conversation or confrontation. That's a betrayal to them, the story, and the audience. LN and SWG are the orchestrators of that betrayal.

The screen time was there. It was simply used up by hacks.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

I just can't believe that there are people who still believe every single word a public figure/celebrity says, most of the time they LIE. Did C lie about some fans harassing his bf? I have no clue, but if someone was indeed harassing him, that is just not correct. There are crazy fans in every fandom. If people still believe every post or tweet is posted personally by the celebrity, they are just naive and gullible. I don't believe in CC, but that's just my opinion. I do believe D is closeted and just because he posts something or says something nice about someone doesn't mean he actually thinks that, it is most likely PR, just like the unnecessary refurbishment of RR's house. People should wake up and not believe everything they see on the internet. Side note: I couldn't even get mad at yesterday's show because everything is just so ridiculous and bad-acted that it's funny.

At this point, if you aren't side-eyeing basically everything that comes out of Hollywood, you are just willfully ignorant. Its all calculated to a specific end and they don't think twice about contradicting their past selves if it serves a current narrative. Case in point: C saying towards the end of glee that he had no idea who D was when he joined the show when there's a whole interview of him talking about seeing D in AVPM way back when. Like season 2 back when. That's just a blatantly obvious, easily disproved and stupid lie. With regards to this podcast mess - I haven't listened to it and I wasn't on tumblr for most of glee's run so I wasn't really privy to a lot of the goings on that happened bts. Can I believe that there were people who crossed the line of fandom and behaved like assholes? Yes, definitely because it still happens. That kind of behavior is not exclusive to the glee fandom. You will find people like that everywhere. Whether or not they did exactly what he said they did - only he knows that for sure. Its a weird thing to bring up now 6 years after the show has ended as it effectively (and unfairly) paints a bullseye on a specific group. I'm not sure what he was hoping to achieve with this. The CC people that I've interacted with here are lovely and would never in a million years even think of things that horrible. Keep your thoughts and opinions to your own little blog and you don't tag the person in your post - its as simple as that. Who are these nobodies who have that much power that they think they can get a complete stranger fired? If they did indeed behave this way, then that is appalling, completely batshit crazy, and unacceptable - they need professional help. Its not funny, its scary. There's no need for that ever. At the end of the day, its his life and what he does with it and who he spends it with is his business. There's a pretty simple solution if you don't like the person anymore or don't like what they are doing: you can simply stop following them. You don't need to engage in some sort of bizarre smear campaign that has real world implications. Remember all those toxic twitter teens who were ready to draw and quarter D a few months back over that nearly 10 year old pic of him or a comment just as old? The awful things they said about him, the nonstop tagging of him and the flooding of every one of his SM posts with their bullshit? The "you're dead to me if you choose to remain a fan of his" ultimatums? I do! That's the kind of stuff that drives celebs away from SM and ruins it for the rest of us that know how to behave. You're creating an issue where there wasn't one and that's sort of what C did here with his comments.

From my point of view, the issue with C and D's SOs isn't so much that they are with other people, but more to the kind of people they seem to be. I don't know much frankly about W. He's not shoved in my face 24 hours a day and a hovering annoying presence at everything C does. You'll find more pics of C solo or with AF than you will with W. That's why he bothers me less and why D takes more criticism on this. But from what I've heard about him, he's said and posted some pretty awful things in the past and if people choose to not like him because of that, that seems valid to me. As fans, we can only judge celebs by what they say and do and our perception of them - its all we have. My dislike of M is not because she's with D and I'm a super jealous old spinster. And its not because I'm a self hating misogynist. Its because of the way she clings to D and his career while doing nothing on her own, the way she uses him for her own selfish purposes, and the hypocritical way she claimed to not to want to be in the public eye but yet shadows D at every event he goes to because it means cameras and photos and recognition as his wife. That tacky awful commercialized wedding was the last straw for me because I haven't been able to hold my tongue since. And if you follow someone long enough, you can get a pretty good idea of when they're being genuine and when they're bullshitting you or in D's case, when its him posting something and when its a member of his team. For example: where he supposedly proposed. By lying about it - either then or now - you've created a mess that didn't previously exist. Its a fairly simple straightforward statement that most people get right the first time: where they asked their SO to marry them. D says Japan, RR says D called him saying he wanted to do it when he was outside a bathroom in Miami. So the answer is either a) D b) RR c) none of the above. I'm going to go with c, thanks. Unless RR is going to come back and say that D decided to ask her in Miami but then waited until they were physically in Japan to do the asking, I'm going to go with neither of you are right and the reason D blew off the question every time he was asked about it by saying he didn't want to bore us is that you hadn't come up with a good enough and believable story yet. Much like the engagement ring that hadn't been locked down until RR could find a designer willing to make a ring with a diamond big enough to soothe her ego and give off the pretense of being legit. He probably put more effort into that than anything in D's career in the last 5 years. Do I think that RR did help D at one point when he was starting out with gigs, jobs, things like that? Sure. No problem. And maybe they were friends and liked to hang out and jam together. But do I also think that D has outgrown him personally and professionally at this point? Hell fucking yes. He needs a grown up to take his career to the next level and RR is not that person. He completely failed to capitalize on all the awards and well deserved hype D got from ACS and for that alone, he should have been fired. He needs someone who wants to do the work because they understand the rare find they have in D and that their job is to promote him, not themselves. The IOU ep was nothing but a self serving hour of D trying to make RR look and sound like he's not a complete waste of space on top of getting a cut of his fee as his manager. If you look at D's page on the very sad H/yphenate website, you will see the 3 biggest roles D's had are not listed. No Blaine. No Hedwig. No ACS. But oddly enough, a mention of his record deal with Columbia, which I thought went kaput ages ago and his hosting of the Teen Choice Awards in 2013. You know - the big times. Why? I'm going to assume its because he got those roles without RR's help so he doesn't want them there and what does that tell you? It should tell you everything. This is why your manager should be your manager and your friends should be your friends. Its like a parent who wants to be their

child's friend instead of the authority figure they need.

Too much of D's SM has the look and feel of pr and useless ads and just flat out nonsense and that falls squarely under RR's domain. He's a 34 year old man with an established career, not a 21 year old newbie just starting out but his SM doesn't reflect that in any way, shape, or form. The sooner D can cut his losses and break free, the better off his career will be, the more adult he will sound, and the happier I will be.

Now that I’ve had some time to cry & mourn & actually think about that horrendous excuse for television... I have... some thoughts.

Firstly, the pace of that episode was insane. I mean, the season itself felt like we were slowly & tortuously hacking our way through a tangled rain forest, trying desperately to see the forest for the trees, but instead stuck cutting vines & branches down one by one... until we got to that finale, which felt comparatively like finally cutting away all the dense foliage only to immediately fall off a fucking cliff. You could just tell they were using the least amount of dialogue they could to move through so many weird emotions at fucking breakneck speed. I mean there was... the brief aftermath in Latvia, the 4 second plane ride to re-introduce Red’s illness after how many eps, Liz’s 3 second long recuperation, the awkward attempt at humor with the helium followed by a crash landing into solemnity at Red’s talk with Cooper, the abrupt & unsatisfying discussion with Red & Liz where he makes his rEqUESt, all the different “heartfelt” one-on-ones with Liz’s people, the fucking forced af “romance” with K**nler, the shoe-horned “chance meeting” with Beth Ryker, the most Agnes has ever talked in the history of ever, the weirdly morbid & fucking heartbreaking walk in the park, the choppy restaurant scene, to the unmentionable... end event. It went all over the place, which is very unlike TBL imo, which usually seems to stick to a theme or emotional center for an entire episode, whether blacklister or mythology driven. I think it was painfully clear how poor their planning was (when they have literally no excuse bc they knew this was coming the whole season???) & just how much shit they were trying to squeeze into one episode.

Secondly - & this may seem obvious, but I think it’s worth talking about anyway - Liz should have gotten her answers. And I’m not just saying this as a Lizzington shipper (I mean, mostly I am, but there are other reasons also!) Primarily, I think bc... literally everyone expected them. Not just bc they were advertised (it’s certainly not the first time they’ve delighted in false advertising in promos when it comes to the all-important AnSwErS) but bc THEY MADE SURE EVERYONE KNEW BEFOREHAND THAT IT WAS MEGAN’S LAST EP. It might have been mildly acceptable to play coy for yet another season finale IF she was coming back in some capacity later to eventually wrap things up, but - given that they fucking slammed the door on that possibility - THEY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN US ANSWERS. I don’t think anyone considered the possibility that they would KILL her & NOT give us answers bc it makes no fucking sense. Additionally, Liz should have gotten her answers simply bc SHE!! DESERVED!! THEM!! They’re literally the thing she’s been fighting for for eight seasons & she fucking died without them? WTF??? But, most importantly to us Lizzington shippers, Liz not getting her answers ruined the park fantasy. I think we all imagined (BC IT WAS MEGAN’S LAST EP) that Red & Liz would finally talk & Red would give her the answers she wanted. I think we all expected from the (misleading) promo that he would make some sense out of the potentially jumbled memories/visions (?) from 8.21 &, most importantly, there would be SOME KIND OF EMOTIONAL TURNING POINT, SOME CATHARSIS, AN UNDERSTANDING & RENEWED LOVE BETWEEN THEM DRIVEN BY THE AFOREMENTIONED REVELATIONS (& LOVE OF WHATEVER KIND, MIND YOU, WE WEREN’T PICKY, JUST SOMETHING FOUNDED ON RECONCILIATION & PEACE.) But - bc they denied us that - Liz was still in the dark & waiting on answers for the entire ep, unable to forgive or reconnect with her true feelings for Red (whatever you believe them to be) & this made her reaction to Red’s rEqUeSt ring very hollow & detached, the whole park bench conversation stilted & awkward (on Liz’s end) & - THE WORST PART - it made the whole park fantasy feel FALSE. It cheapened it. Like she was just indulging him, letting him walk with her & play with Agnes & enjoy one more day of life before she indifferently killed him. The one thing we expected to get, should have gotten, & THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE NO MATTER WHAT ELSE HAPPENED IN THE FINALE was ruined. With the assisted suicide talk beforehand, the almost begrudging acceptance from Liz, the obvious morbid mindset from Red, the song in the background, the context of it all. It put an awful spin we completely didn’t expect on what should have been our beautiful Lizzington park fantasy. And I think that may be the part that hurts the most - the fact that I can only look at gifs of that scene - bc the music & dialogue & context completely undermine what Liz’s fantasy should have been, that she got for just one afternoon, when she was supposed to be happy & at peace with Red & Agnes.

Thirdly, (anyone still there? lolz) the whole “plot” of this episode was fucking nonsensical. Chiefly - & many other people have pointed this out before now - Red would never ask Liz to kill him. I simply call bullshit. No matter how hard they tried to justify it (& boyyyyy, did they try) Red has never wanted Liz to be a killer, criminal, or have to live a life like him. He has canonically said as much. I could maybe buy the whole “taking over his empire” thing as the seasons progressed, but asking Liz to live with the guilt (however slight or delayed) of killing him, after everything they’ve been through together, after she told him she loves him (seasons ago, but the feelings are still there, albeit buried deep)? And thereby launching her (& by extension Agnes) directly into harm’s way as the “new” Concierge of Crime (?), without him there to guide her from the shadows? No way. Bullshit. Also - & @iwouldlovetoeatyourtoast mentioned this first, I believe - the whole idea of it was stupid anyway bc Liz has spent the entire season chasing him, has repeatedly gotten opportunities to take the big shot, & has always been unable to kill him. It wasn’t even an engaging tWiSt to throw in at the very end bc - even when she agreed to do it - we all knew it wouldn’t happen, also bc Megan was the one leaving & not James. So, it wasn’t a surprise when she broke down at the end & said she couldn’t, so wtf was the point?

Fourthly (almost to the end, god this feels good) & this was a huge tell imo - everyone was OOC. Now you might say that’s the bitterness talking & you might be right... but you fucking try & tell me that 1) Red all of a sudden decides he’s ready for death after how long of not accepting it or mentioning it & absolutely must be killed by Liz & no one else within the next 24-48 hours 2) Liz would willingly go along with that for even a second 3) Dembe wouldn’t try his damnedest to talk Red out of assisted suicide in general & especially coercing Liz into doing it 4) Ressler would be the one to fucking figure it out & hightail it out of bed AFTER BEING ON DEATH’S DOOR WITH A BUSTED LUNG & SEPSIS FFS 5) Wolf Man Van Dyke would even know where to find Liz on a random fucking street corner outside a random fucking restaurant 6) Red wouldn’t see him behind Liz taking aim 7) THERE WOULDN’T BE A DECLARATION OF FEELINGS/LOVE CONFESSION BETWEEN RED & LIZ IN THE 14 MILLION OBVIOUS PLACES THERE COULD HAVE BEEN *PRIMARILY AFTER SHE SAYS “I CAN’T DO IT, I DON’T WANT TO” I MEAN, HELLO????? WTF, WHY WASN’T THERE AN “BC I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU TOO, LIZZIE” LIKE HOW HARD WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN, IT WAS THE PERFECT PLACE, THE LAST CHANCE, & WE FUCKING DESERVED ITTTTTTTTTTT *ahem* & lastly, & most importantly, & I’m definitely going to cry typing this... 8) if you fucking try to tell me that Red would allow himself to be pulled away from Lizzie’s dead body for a second time by Dembe or anyone else (especially when it was only the stupid task force arriving???) without simply crossing the street to load his gun with trembling fingers, pull the trigger, & join her... you’re fucking crazy.

In conclusion, bc this has gone on long enough, this was just... a hasty, sloppy, rushed, unprepared, careless ending on all fronts, no matter how hard they tried to convince us it was totally-100%-on-purpose-of-course-why-do-you-ask? (And I’m not even touching on the Redarina bait bc fuck that shit.) Like, did anyone else feel like when Red was telling Dembe that he was sure & this was what he wanted & really he’s positive so please stop asking, and when he was explaining things to Liz in almost too much detail, and when he was telling Harold this was absolutely necessary... that it was really the writers trying to convince us? It just felt so sudden & forced & heavy-handed & absurdly preventable & at the same time ridiculously unstoppable... I mean, look, whatever drama clearly went on behind the scenes? I think we can all agree that they did a terrible, awful, shit-tastic job on all fronts. And it’s just such a shame that that’s how it ended 💔

Hot Loki Take: Sylvie was Right

*Spoilers for all of Loki the series up to and including ep 6.

Sylvie was right to kill He Who Remains and free the timeline.

I’m deadass.

He Who Remains forced reality into an endless cycle between a time of Order (he rules as dictator) & a time of simulated and controlled "Chaos" (his Conqueror variants wage war). I say this “chaos” is simulated because when you think about it, it’s chaos that He Who Remains arranges himself by manipulating Lokis.

He Who Remains is so fucking sus but for some reason people are just tripping over their own feet to believe everything he says and vilify Sylvie for killing him. 

He literally tells them (and us) that his methods are deceptive and we know for a fact that he’s willing to murder trillions upon trillions of people, planets, and realities to get the outcome he wants. Yet some are still believing everything he says cuz he said maybe 4 things that were truthful, I guess, and cuz he’s cute. Some of us are so blinded by the fear/anticipation of Kang the Conqueror’s arrival, we are letting him bamboozle us.

He Who Remains perfectly and personally tailored the Ordered period of the timeline to produce this exact Sylvie and this exact Loki, had them meet/influence each other, and then had them travel to the end of time...to him.

Now Lokis by nature are agents of chaos and could suddenly swerve left, so to speak, for no reason. So let’s assume I believe that He Who Remains didn’t 100% know what they would choose once they crossed the Threshold (if the Threshold he described is even real, tbh). He also so carefully molded both of their entire lives for that moment in the Citadel. He may not have known 100% but he knew at least 90% of how they would react to everything he said and did when they were both pushed to this place/mindset.

Notice how he teed them up for the fight that ended in his death:

Manufacturing a scenario where they would meet via the TVA’s variant pursuit.

Manufacturing a scenario where they would travel to the Void and meet Alioth.

Kid Loki being in just the right place to give his sword to Loki.

Miss Minutes appearing to menacingly offer an obvious devil’s bargain.

Him slyly telling Sylvie that she can’t trust Loki, putting it into her head just before he gives them his ultimatum.

All of these thing practically gift wrapped that ending to the Loki on Sylvie fight.

Let’s elaborate.

What was even the point of Miss Minutes offering to re-insert them into the same Sacred Timeline with both getting their hearts’ desires there? 

Not more than ten minutes later He Who Remains told Loki and Sylvie to their faces that he manipulated all this for the sole purpose of making them choose between taking over as rulers of the TVA or killing him and ushering in a Multiversal War. Neither of those choices would result in re-inserting Loki and Sylvie back into the timeline.

So what is the truth? Why waste precious moments with a creepy Miss Minutes menacing them in that vestibule scene?

Notice how Miss Minutes’ words pushed Loki further onto his path of no longer wanting power or a throne but desiring to change his attitude about himself and the universe. Notice how her words conversely pushed Sylvie into balking at the idea of accepting another “fictional” life after a lifetime of being manipulated and made her double down on her mission to free the timeline and get revenge.

Sylvie has the ability to see memories but interesting how he kept her distracted by condescending to her and provoking her, just stoking the fire to make her react negatively. (Interesting how he was far more focused on Sylvie’s reactions than Loki’s, most likely because he needed her to kill him for his plans to work.)

Now I don’t want to completely shift responsibility for her choices away from Sylvie. In truth, if she had held in her vengeance for let’s say an hour and trusted Loki a bit more, they could’ve sat down to talk about things and maybe found a third solution other than starting a Multiversal War or ruling the TVA that still could’ve even allowed her to get revenge. (More on the ultimatum later.)

But I can’t blame her for losing her cool, either. He Who Remains made damn sure she would burn as hot as possible because he tailor made her life to give her the personality he wanted. And any other version of her out there who might have made a different choice would’ve already been pruned.

He Who Remains tells Loki and Sylvie straight up that he set them on their particular life paths because he needed them to be “changed by the journey” to ensure everyone in that room was in exactly the right mindset to do what was needed to “finish the quest” and presumably “slay the dragon,” aka Him. (Notice the parallels to the speaker narration just before episode 2′s fight at the Ren Fair.)

We don’t know! Sylvie never enchanted him to read his memories because she was so filled with rage and Loki was too busy trying to stop her, he didn’t think to do it either. And we’ve already established that He Who Remains trained them that way. Nothing that happened in that office was without He Who Remains’ influence and meddling.

Another nail in the coffin that convinces me that He Who Remains is a no good dirty liar is Renslayer.

If He Who Remains’ end goal was to either have the Lokis choose to rule the TVA or destroy it and thus end up with no memory of her previous TVA judge role/life, why did he send Miss Minutes to Ravonna with files that caused her to pack her bags and search for what she calls “free will,” AKA the one in charge?

I’d bet dollars to donuts that when the next season rolls around the only people who will know what’s going on and still have their memories will be Loki, Miss Minutes, Sylvie, and Ravonna. (Maybe Kang the Conqueror will know as well but I could see it going the other way too. I’m 50-50.)

He Who Remains was planning something by pushing Ravonna the way he did. Does he want her out of the TVA so she doesn’t lose her memories when everything resets? Does he want her to go find the Conqueror version of himself? I mean, at this point, practically everyone knows who she is to Kang in the comics, so let’s not pretend that’s not an option.

Another thing to think about...it’s super suspicious that he was so eager to make them believe he’s one of the “good versions” of Kang and all these others are much worse while giving absolutely no evidence of that outside of an interactive blob powerpoint, a quirky attitude, and a couple of sad, weary faces????

Who’s to say He Who Remains isn’t playing the long game and always manipulates his variants to eventually give him the chance to seize control of the multiverse?

Who’s to say he’s not one of the Kangs that wanted to conquer too? Funny how the “pure of heart” Kang is the one who still wrested control of all reality, killed off every other timeline with a weapon of mass destruction, installed a fascist time bureaucracy, and set himself up as the dictator. Sounds an awful lot like some conqueror shit to me, just saying.

Even wilder theory: what if this really is the same Kang the Conqueror but at the end of his life? We only have hhis word that he’s a variant. He Who Remains tells Loki that this fight is for the “young and hungry.” Maybe the “young and hungry” he’s referring to is not Loki and Sylvie at all but his literal younger self. Perhaps he set up this entire cycle of chaos and order so that he can perpetually live, conqueror, rule, die, and start all over again? Reincarnation, as he says...

But let’s set that wild theory aside for a moment. Let’s circle back to the Multiversal War debate and say it really is is caused by an infinite amount of his variants.

I think it’s hella sus that He Who Remains was so insistent that Loki and Sylvie only had two choices to resolve this riddle: Multiversal War or running the TVA almost exactly the way he did while maintaining only a single timeline. Those are definitely not the only two options they had. In fact, I could probably name 1-3 other options off the top of my head right now:

Keep He Who Remains alive while learning how he manipulated time and using those skills to slowly unleash the multiverse while killing every version of Kang to prevent him from existing as either conqueror or dictator.

Kill He Who Remains, take over the TVA, and slowly change it to something not horrific or even build a brand new system for governing time.

Kill or keep He Who Remains, still take over the TVA, slow rollout the Multiverse and kill or prevent every Kang along the way.

(I’m not saying these aren’t also morally questionable options, I’m just saying they are different from the two choices He Who Remains presented.)

But let’s say these options I suggested are not feasible. I just randomly came up with them ten minutes ago so it would be fair if they were picked apart logically. 

So let’s contemplate this, instead:

Why should we assume/believe that a Multiversal War is actually a bad thing again??? Why are we assuming that He Who Remains’ Sacred Timeline really saved reality from total collapse? 

Assuming he told the truth about his motives, maybe he was just...wrong about the end of reality. Maybe he saw what he thought was the conclusion to the Multiversal War coming and erroneously believed it to be the end of everything but actually it was the multiverse sorting itself out and everything would’ve been fine after.

We (and He Who Remains too) will never know because not only did he not show any evidence to back up his claim that reality was on the brink of collapse, but he himself never allowed things to play out naturally. Whenever the end of the war comes to the brink of something, he always panics, weaponizes Alioth, and traps the universe in his cage of Order with the TVA.

Even more controversial take...maybe the collapse of timelines and the end of everything should be allowed to happen. Maybe the natural cycle of reality is to build and build, splinter and splinter timelines, until it collapses and starts all over again from the void.

Nothing is created and nothing is destroyed, all things exist in a cycle so why should the multiverse be any different?

After all in all, in all three possibilities an infinite number of timelines is destined to suffer and die. Whether it be during the Kang-controlled Order period, Kang-controlled fake Chaos period, or the unrestrained natural Chaos that collapses in on itself...an untold amount of people are dying anyway. There’s only one of those scenarios that has actual unrestrained free will where those people get to exist how they want, make choices they want (even bad ones) for as long as they can.

(Personally, I’ll take that over what the Kangs have wrestled the multiverse into.)

I’ll just take this moment to re-iterate: trust nothing He Who Remains says. He’s a known liar and manipulator, and unlike Loki he has done absolutely nothing to actionably show he’s not still lying or to show that he’s trying to change outside of some sad looks. It’s all pantomime, bruh. Like, the pageantry of it all astounds me. 

Is he maybe telling some truths? Sure. But that doesn’t mean he’s not using the truth to manipulate everything. It’s an illusion, I’m telling y’all! He was up to no fucking good.

Sylvie was far more right to kill him than to not. Loki, Sylvie, & team (prolly also the latest Avengers lineup too) now just need to find a way to break this Kang cycle.

the playlist

♫ pairing: Bang Chan x Reader

♫ genre: college/university student!au, slice-of-life, crack (at the end, really), fluff

♫ word count: 1.4k

♫ warnings: Nil of note!

♫ prompt: #You made me a Christmas playlist but it's just Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas is you" and I can't tell if you're hitting on me or if it's a joke. - if anyone is aware of the owner (?) of the prompt, please let me know so that I can credit appropriately :)

♫ a/n: The first addition to my Christmas drabbles! Enjoy this lowkey chaotic fic!

♫ skz christmas drabbles: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[16:23] 10th Dec.

Entering the cafe your friend Chan was working at, you sighed contentedly, inhaling the smoky aroma of freshly ground coffee. “I need caffeine like right now.” You slumped against the counter dramatically. “Exams were that bad, huh?” He smiled sympathetically, starting up the espresso machine. “Not bad. Tiring, but not bad. I’m honestly just erasing any memory of them as we speak.” You sighed, propping your chin on your hands. “Well, regardless, I did make you something as a gift for completing those... things that you’re currently forgetting.” “You did? I mean you didn’t have to.” Your eyes lit up though, negating any attempt at masking your excitement and curiosity. “Okay, well I should clarify. It’s nothing big. My professor set us a task to make a playlist for someone, basically for the purpose of getting us to consider the audience that we’re making music for... so I chose you. Just think of it as something to relax to after a long week of exams.” He explained, tone slightly laced with trepidation that you payed no heed to. “Well, I’m flattered that my best friend considered me to be their... muse for this assignment? In fact, I’m super curious as to what songs you put on it. Send it to me tonight and I’ll listen to it!” You grinned, grabbing your coffee and waving as you exited the shop. “Yeah, okay...”

“Don’t spill the flour everywhere!” Your friend, Felix, stressed, pushing the bowl of cookie batter closer to you.

“This whole process would be a lot more fun if we could listen to music, as well.” You rolled your eyes at his hotheadedness. “Hey, you’re the one that wanted to make gingerbread for Chan because of the whole playlist thing, which is highly romantic by the way. Also, we all know what happens when you get distracted while cooking.” He smirked, mixing through the batter. “I’m pretty sure friends can make playlists for their friends. Besides, I have you to help this precarious venture not go sideways.” You flashed him a smile, opening up the playlist and pressing shuffle play, before quickly redirecting your attention to to the cookie trays. All I Want for Christmas Is You blasted out the speakers, you laughed awkwardly as Felix raised his eyebrows pointedly at you. Odd song choice, but okay.

Half an hour later, with Mariah Carey playing on loop for almost 10 times, Felix rubbed his temples,

“Either Chan has an extremely unique sense of humour, or it’s an extreme declaration of his undying love for you.” Parcelling the gingerbread away and neatly tying a bow on top, you looked at him, “It’s weird, though. All the songs on the playlist are the same. I don’t think Chan would do that... it’s probably some network glitch or something like that.” You resolved, thoughts whirling as you cleared the kitchen. You had known Chan since childhood. Growing up, the two of you were as thick as thieves, causing enough grief to last both your parents a lifetime. It wasn’t until late high school that you’d started viewing him differently. Every little act of kindness that he did out of friendship made your heart both burst with happiness and twinge at the fact that he didn’t share the same sentiment as you. You hadn’t ever really considered the possibility of him liking you back. You never wanted to venture into that territory, afraid that you’d get your hopes up and your friendship, something you valued more than anything, would be ruined at the cost of your curiosity and feelings. You considered it as too selfish to even entertain the thought. However, some nights you couldn’t help but daydream on how it would feel to have his soft lips on yours, and to be wrapped in his warm embrace every night. Yet, whenever reality dawned on you, you shut down that part of your brain, reinforcing to yourself that the two of you were only friends. “Hey, Y/N? Sorry to interrupt whatever internal monologue you’re having but I’m going to leave now. Regarding the Chan situation, I’m not telling you to read into it too much, but considering Chan, I doubt it was just a joke.” Felix gave you a tight hug, snapping you out of your reverie. Sighing, you shut off the speaker, heading to your bed, your thoughts provoking as you tossed and turned, unable to drift off.

[18:39] 12 Dec. You had actively avoided the cafe and Chan over the last few days, fleeting texts often with one worded answers being the only form of communication between the two of you until you had sort of wrapped your head around the whole playlist situation. You knew it was bad to keep Chan in the dark like that, but you weren’t ready to see him, regardless of what his reasoning was. It wasn’t until Felix had forced you out of the house to give him the gingerbread you had baked that you had to face your fears and him. The door jingled as you stepped into the place, Chan in the same place you last saw him, humming to, wow, he really likes this song, none other than All I Want for Christmas Is You as he wiped down the counter, “Sorry, we’re closed.” He called out, not glancing up as you approached. “You must really love Mariah Carey.” You raised your eyebrows at him as he glanced up at you, startled, “Y/N? You’re alive?” “No. I’m the ghost of christmas past... Of course I am. I came bearing gifts. Particularly Christmas ones since you’re going home tomorrow.” You placed the gift bag in his arms, avoiding his gaze. “Thank you.” He said quietly, putting the bag to the side. “So, about the playlist—“ You both started. He stopped as you continued. “Was it a joke?” You blurted out, silence pursuing as Mariah Carey belted in the background. Santa won't you bring me The one I really need Won't you please bring my baby to me “This is really poor choice of music... anyway. Look, Y/N, you’re my best friend.” Your heart twinged in disappointment as your throat tightened, casting your burning eyes to the ground. He grabbed your hands, “but... it wasn’t a joke. I literally put 100 copies of All I Want for Christmas Is You in a playlist to try and articulate my feelings for you.” “Wait... so you were hitting on me?” You questioned, looking up, incredulous. “I mean. Yeah.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Cool cool cool cool cool.” You stared at each other for a while, eyebrows raised. You surged forward, pressing a quick kiss on his lips, as he gaped at you in shock. “You mean you...” “I don’t know about you, but I don’t go around kissing randoms after they declare their undying love for me, unless I like them too.” He pulled you close to him, his lips moving tenderly moving against yours. Time came to a standstill, the music distantly playing in your mind as you wrapped your arms around his neck, the two of you blissfully enjoying each other’s company. You pulled apart, breathing heavily as a smile spread on both your faces, laughing softly. “You know... your wish did come true.” You remarked. “Wish?” He tilted his head, questioning. “All you want for Christmas is... you know...” You gestured to yourself, as he facepalmed, laughing, “I guess you’re right. All I’ve wanted for Christmas is you.”

+bonus -  high-key crack ((because Felix would never ever do this)) this is lowkey inspired by Chan’s Room: Ep. 69! Watching your silhouettes behind the tinted windows of the cafe lean in to kiss, Felix scrambled out of the car, eyes wide in horror as realisation dawned on him. “No! This can’t be happening! My plan...” He fell to his knees on the sidewalk, his upset tone echoing throughout the almost deserted street. He was in turmoil. He had been the one to orchestrate this whole thing - 100 copies of the same Mariah Carey song on a playlist, even with the concept of a playlist, he was sure you would hate it. However, what he didn’t account for... was that the two of you had feelings for each other. His heart twinged enviously at the possibility of Chan sharing all the pick-up lines customers (cough cough stays) had used on him throughout his day on you instead of Felix. He had to do something about this. This wasn’t the end for platonic Chanlix. He’d get his pick-up lines back.

➳ part two?  |  masterlist!

i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.

Episode 9's blog post (Spoilers under the cut!)

This post by Balletta is dated 8th June 2021. It apparently took him 8 hours to write...which is why I took so long putting this post out. (I had to skip a lot of the descriptive stuff and it still took me over 4 hours to do this post...)

There are also some tweets from Hishida below, including one regarding ep. 10. If you don't want any info about ep. 10 until you get to it, skip reading tweet 2.

Due to the nature of the ep., there is a mention of suicide below.

Hishida's tweet 1:

そういえばF蘭９話でゲスな男の久ニさん役で鳥海浩輔さんが出演してくれました。僕にとっては初監督作の陰陽大戦記でタイザン役を演じてくれたとても恩のある方です。ありがとうございました。そして明日放送の１０話でも非常にお世話になった方が登場します。これも逃れられない縁なので��ょうか！？

Now that you mention it, F-Ran episode 9's male sleazebag Kyuji was voiced by Kosuke Toriumi. For me, he had the role of Daizan in my first directorial work, Onmyou Taisenki, so I have a big obligation towards him. Thanks a lot. Also, episode 10, which is airing tomorrow, has a person who's taken extreme care of me. Is this an inescapable fate?!

(Who is this he's talking about? Read on.)

Hishida's tweet 2:

まさか福山潤くんに会えるとはね。りっくん、生まれ変わってギャンブラーになってました…w #フィクションです

Unexpectedly, I was able to meet Jun Fukuyama, huh? Rikkun was reborn as a gambler...LOL #ThisIsFiction

"Rikkun" = Riku Tachibana, protagonist of Onmyou Taisenki.

Hishida's tweet 3:

美梨香ちゃん、プリチャンのルルナ…。僕はキャスティングには関わっていません。

Birika-chan is Pri-chan's Luluna...My casting has not changed.

Pri-chan = Kiratto Pri-chan. Luluna and Birika share the VA Hibiku Yamamura.

On to the post (note Balletta goes backwards and forwards in time a lot in this post, so with that on top of my omissions, it's a bit hard to keep track of):

Post's name: "The Perverted and Slightly Sad Episode 9". (You know why it's perverted, but the "slightly sad" will be revealed later on. Balletta specifically uses a word for "slightly sad" used by teenage girls, ぱおん.)

Balletta starts by giving various greetings (this matches last time's), asks if everyone enjoyed Fairy Ranmaru ep. 9. It's Uruu's second turn, so he's going to give real-time thoughts and comments on the ep.

The ep starts with Uruu painting "blue roses" (according to Balletta). "収録の時に、第3話の時みたいにうるうくんの英語から始まったらどうしよう…と台本貰うまでドキドキしてたのはここだけの秘密です…" - "It's a secret between us that when we were recording, I was nervous until I got the script, wondering what would happen if we started with Uruu-kun's English like in episode 3..."

Balletta goes on to discuss how people call Uruu "Blue Rose" (from Tiger and Bunny). People have been making this connection ever since the key visual (the one with the fairy forms) dropped. Even now, when watching the anime on Nico Nico Douga, he'll think: "Hi, Blue Rose's older brother!").

He skips to Uruu's mother's suicide scene. Her wings are broken like glass and Balletta thinks this is when Uruu's heart was broken too. This is also where he thinks Uruu's ideal of "always be proper" was born.

The blushing Homura, being healed by Bakkun and reading an article on Shiina's manga, is "transcendently cute".

It's at this point where Balletta starts introducing quotes from the discussion with "ワン！トゥー！！スリー！！！" ("One! Two!! Three!!!") (<- For the curious, there are 6 of these in the post, but they're not entirely the same.)

Balletta wonders in small text if there was tongue or not during the CPR scene...

"この時のうるうくんの表情が完全に悪役の悪い顔になってて、正直自分もアニメ見てて「うるうくん！顔わるいなぁー！！」ってなりましたね！" - "That time Uruu's face looked like a villain's, and straight up I also saw in the anime, 'Uruu-kun! You're making a bad face-!!'"

Balletta is relieved Homura has been revived.

The sloth's lump is moving...

Balletta introduces Birika and the plot of the week. "不倫！ダメ！！ゼッタイ！！！" - "Adultery! Don't do it!! Absolutely don't!!!" (he repeats this through the post and counts the times he says it - the editing Chesarka from the future says he ends up with 3 instances of this)

Balletta recaps that Uruu is good at painting, as we know from ep. 1. It seems to be the same painting, but then he puts red paint on top. This made Balle-san think of Homura so much, he couldn't concentrate on the painting. In short, FIRE (insert flame emoji, obviously referencing Homura's shirt).

5 to Heaven synced up on how they thought during recording. When Uruu is talking to Birika and she says "心が清廉だからだよ" ("Because you have an honest heart."), they all thought, "心が清廉、どうも清怜うるうです。" ("You have an honest heart - thank you, Uruu Seiren.") Balletta thinks they increased their bonds as a result. (Note "honest" in this case is "seiren".)

Some descriptive bits later, we get to this sentence: "第1話から今回の第9話までに、うるうくんの心情や見えている世界が大きく変わったことを意味しているのではないかと自分は思いました！" I thought from ep. 1 until ep. 9, the world he is seeing has changed greatly!" A bit further down: "先程も話した、第1話から第9話にかけて、うるくんの心情や見えている世界が大きく変わってきていると言ったもう一つの理由がこの言葉なんです！第1話では世界に対しても常に正しくあるべきと考えていたうるうくんが、第9話に至るまでに色んなことがありました。

過去のトラウマ、火焔族への憎しみ、焔くんに対しての嫉妬。" - "That's another reason why I said earlier the world Uruu-kun sees has changed greatly from ep. 1 to ep. 9! Ep. 1, where Uruu-kun thinks everything should be correct about the world, to the Uruu-kun in ep. 9 who has had various things happen. Past trauma, the hatred of the Ignis clan, the jealousy which he feels towards Homura."

Balletta can't believe how Birika's mother came back and had a kiss mark on her neck. He gets so angered he starts making puns on his own name (bareru means to leak a secret, while barebare means a transparent lie) and ends with "あ、どうもバレッタです。" - more along the lines of "Ah, sorry, I'm Balletta" than the previous "thank you"s - before returning to the previous discussion.

Some more description later, Balletta mentions the appearance of Sirius. "素晴らC！いや！すばらシリウス！！！" - "SubaraC (shii)! No! SubaraSirius!!!" (subarashii = wonderful) He then discusses Sirius's musings.

End A part. Balletta stops for a bit to note "You only noticed all this incredible impressions and comments are [for] the A part? Didn't you see the previous post?" He also comments Hori's post was short and that was fine. "ま、イケメンだからいっか！！！（うるうくん達が）" - "Well, they're handsome, so what?!!! (Uruu-kun and co. are)"

Now to the B part. Balletta notes there's a piece of art that is a pot in the art gallery. Pot quota: check.

Some description (and more yelling about how adultery is bad and unforgivable) later: we get to the kiss scene. This transformation is voiced differently to the one in ep. 3 in terms of the pan upwards part and the sound effect of boots scratching you can hear during the "Taboo rescinded! Love! In abundance!" callout. "自分もリアルタイムで第9話見てて、「あれ！？ボイス変わってるし、音が追加されてる！凄い！！」ってテレビの前でなってました！ありがたい限りです！" - "Even when watching ep. 9 in real-time, I was in front of the TV, going, 'Huh?! The voice changed and a sound was added! Amazing!!' I'm nothing but grateful!"

Hotel Tsubo returns. "なんかもう毎回このアニメをリアルタイムで見るたびに「今回はどこに壺が隠れてるかなぁ〜♪」ってなってる自分がいてビックリしますよ笑" - "Basically every time I watch this anime in real-time, I'll be like, 'Where will they hide the pot this time~?♪', so I'm surprised. LOL"

"そしてそんな「HOTEL壺」では、美梨香さんの母親と久二さんがS○Xしてるシーンが出ましたね。申し訳ないけどもう一回だけ言わせてくださいね…

ふざけんにょ！！！" - "Also, at that Hotel Tsubo, Birika-chan's mother and Kyuji have a scene where they're having s_x. I'm sorry for saying this, but please let me say this once...stop screwing around!!!" (The "screw" pun is intentional on my part.)

Enka scene. Balletta calls Uruu "sexy & beautiful" because of his black lace wings and strong gaze.

Head back to Bar F. "バックンはこのアニメの癒し…

いつもありがとうバックン！" - "Bakkun [being] in this anime is healing...thanks as always, Bakkun!"

Some description later, around the part where Uruu's mother says Uruu is just like his dad...you can see germ-like objects that look like water fleas and Uruu gains some damage from them sticking themselves down his throat. There are various versions of this scene and after all the yelling from recording them, he felt considerably more passionate.

Some more description later, Balletta doubles back to the scene slightly beforehand. where Ranmaru and Chilka are in the same place.

Balletta then continues for a bit about the plot and is at the scene where Kyuji is relieved he's free of the old hag when he goes, "ワン！トゥー！！スリー！！！ 「エヘッ、ぱおーん！」 こんの野郎ーーーー！！！ぱおーんじゃねぇんだよぉー！！！！！ガオーってライオンだらけの檻の中にぶち込むぞぉーーーー！！！となったのはこのブログだけにそっと記しておきますね。" ("One! Two!! Three!!! 'Ehe, that's kinda sad!' These bastards---!!! This isn't 'kinda sad'!!!!! I'll throw you into a cage full of roaring lions----!!!...This blog became a place where I can quietly write this precisely [because I can], huh?")

Balletta discusses the final scene and then draws attention to Takara's scene by going, "「あっちゃー、もう一山残っちまったかぁー」 えっ！？何が残ったの！？" - "'The worst is yet to come.' What's coming?!" (<- Translation using the CR line)

He then tells everyone to look forward to next time's Fairy Ranmaru ep., says he's finished, that was ep. 9's comments and impressions, apologises for his long post again and puts some promotional stuff I've already covered on magicalgirlsandcerulean (in order: character song CD, the live show in Sept., Sweets Paradise, Vivid Army, Otasuke Heaven, BD/DVD 1, the curry plate, Bakkun plush, key necklaces, Fairy Ranmaru's official Twitter + YouTube). He then ends by saying he's done (again) and he's Yutaka Balletta, who voices Uruu.

Takara's comment: "原稿用紙40枚やで～気合い入れて読んでや～" - "You took 40 sheets of genkou youshi~. We read it with effort." (referencing the line where he apologises for his long post: "今回また2回目の当番回だったというのもあって気合い入れまくった結果やっぱり長文になってしまいました！ご容赦くださいまし！！" - "This time was the 2nd time I was in charge [of the post], so the result was, of course, me putting in effort! Please forgive me [for my long post]!")

Update: Minor fixes for accuracy and clarity.

It's frustrating that the majority of this is us fans online now think Madison is selfish, unreasonable and asking Kevin to give up his acting career. Like did we watch the same episode? And is it obvious that this reaction to Madison was not the writers' intention at all. Even producer K.J. Steinberg had to defend Madison to an interviewer about being selfish. Because they seemed to have turned alot of the online audience against Madison, it seems like they will have to put in a lot of work to

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I erupted at the general audience absolutely ripping Mads for this episode when she did not show a single shred of selfishness in this episode. Like not one! Of course, one can argue that there are some things that can be re-worded or whatever but the overall message is still very apparent. * SIGHS * In saying that though, I do have some thoughts on Kevin which we’ll discuss below (warning: it’s gonna get looooong LOL)

Kevin gets a call that shooting has changed locations to Vancouver and he refuses to go because of his commitment to Madison and their kids despite it obviously destroying him.

Like, look at how devastated he is. And then he turns around and tries to hide his devastation but Madison sees through it and she calls him out by asking him what the hell has happened and he explains why, and what does Madison do?!!

She PUSHES him to go despite knowing that she has entered her last trimester, the most crucial part in a pregnancy because hellooooooo she can give birth any time now (!!!!). Like, Madison knows Kevin so well that if he doesn’t finish the movie that means so much to him and that he’s worked so hard for, then he’ll just be miserable, and Madison doesn’t want that for him because she cares about him. LIKE SO MUCH SO THAT SHE SACRIFICES HAVING HIM THERE WHEN SHE NEEDS HIM THE MOST aspodihsfjkl

Like this is her after she lets him go. Madison literally only had to give him a quick kiss and a “Go on and pack” and Kevin, for his part, didn’t even hesitate nor try to fight her that he should stay because he knows that he should. He just went!! And look, I’m not trying to gripe on Kevin here but he could have at least shown even just a tad resistance despite Madison’s logical argument, but let’s not get into that now...

BUT what I will go over is THE POINTS MADE by Randall when it came to Kevin and taking care of people and being committed to them.

Let me point out this particular gem in Season 4, episode 16 between Randall and Kevin when it came to taking care of Rebecca and knowing what was best for her. Randall says,

“And how’s that Kev? Because of all the times you’ve been spending with her for the past few weeks? Because you took her to one doctor’s appointment? I’ve been taking care of mom for twenty years... We both know at any minute, you can take off for Morrocco and do a movie...”

Now look, we can rationalise either one of the brother’s sides in this confrontation, but we cannot take away the truth from Randall’s words here. If we replaced it with Madison’s situation, then this is what we’ll have:

Quarantining together, Kevin’s been taking care of Madison for a few months, about 4-6 give or take, and has been there for her during some appointments (I say “some” because COVID has changed things), and he obviously has been of great help to her mentally, emotionally and physically. However, Kevin has not known Madison for longer than two years and even now, they’re still getting to know each other. But Madison obviously has known herself all her life. And because of COVID, we know that Kevin hasn’t exactly been working, but now that he is, ooop Randall’s words about Kevin having to go and jet off at any minute actually occurs... Kevin has to go to Vancouver in just hours notice.

Even though Kevin thrives at taking care of other people and he’s really good at it, Kevin still hasn’t grasped what it means to truly devote themselves to someone sacrificially. And I mean, putting someone else’s needs before his.

Let’s go to the very controversial argument in the s4 finale where Randall says:

“How dare you pretend that you give a rat’s ass about what anyone else wants other than you? You want mom to spend more time with the family because you want mom to decide with you. You, you, you.”

Now, this line is really crucial in Kevin and Madison’s “argument” in the bedroom. Of course, Randall’s words are much harsher but there’s a truth there: when Kevin proposes his jet-setting family idea to Madison, his persuasion technique is to glam it up (”what about private jet-setting all over the world”) to almost entice Madison to decide with him with what he wants/pictures. AND when Madison reminds him of his commitment to her and the kids, Kevin goes for the offense of “I didn’t realise that where we live was as important as being a family.”

Of course, one can argue that yes Kev, home is where the heart is blah blah, but the point here is Kevin wasn’t taking into consideration what the other person wants, and in this case what Madison wants/pictures, exactly what Randall was saying before.

And then Randall goes:

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Kevin. You have no idea what it means to actually take care of people... I stayed and took care of our family... you’ll never know what it’s like to devote yourself to anyone other than yourself.”

Now, the meaty bit. Yes, over the seasons we’ve seen Kevin grow and mature and develop. Yes, we’ve seen him devote himself to the betterment of Nicky. BUT, we have not actually seen him show the kind of sacrificial devotion/commitment that Randall was talking about when it comes to taking care of a family, and in this case their own family.

Randall sacrificed his dreams of going to a college that he wanted so badly to go to because he knew that his mother needed him. That he couldn’t leave her alone. That her needs came first... at least for then. But because he was so devoted and committed to taking care of his mother, Randall not only graduated and became successful afterwards, he also got the best of them all: Beth.

Now, with Kevin. Madison is Kevin’s opportunity to DO WHAT RANDALL DID (”What would Randall do?” right, Kev?) for his own family.

Madison wasn’t selfishly asking him to quit acting for her or for the kids, she was asking him to think through his commitment, his all in, and what that actually truly means for him in the context of the above (my girl @thesocietalmisfit made a more eloquent post here). 

The writers are telling us to focus on Kevin, to not take our eyes off him because he’s in a pivotal moment now: will he change and finally make decisions for other people apart from himself or will he not and stay the same and lose those whom he cares for and loves?

Anywayy, I’m sorry this took such a long turn, I just really needed to get that out of my chest. But as far as the audience is concerned and how the writers need to do a lot more work to turn people around into going for Madison I have two thoughts:

1. Hating on Madison in this episode for the number of ridiculous reasons all stemming from a form of misogyny yeah I went there, shows that the general TIU demographic are the kinds of people, who needs to be spoon fed information/nuance/implication and sometimes even just what’s right in front of them that they still somehow miss. And I’m sorry, but if you fall in this category, then you’re not going to enjoy not just the development of Kevison’s journey but the others’ also. Remember how much flack Kate was getting for being “awful” at Toby but this one ep of her going full queen of empowerment and everyone’s suddenly Team Kate? Yeah, the audience is fickle. And look, there will always be haters, and haters gonna hate for no reason (or the most absurd), so the writers can’t do much about that.

2. There’s a reason why they’re showing us Kevison already at this very important cross-roads in as early as episode 3 and now 5 and that’s because they’ve got all the loved-up, full romantic Kevison (that they know is the greatest appeal to the audience) coming. I really don’t doubt it. So many people turned into Kevison fans literally after watching them be all adorbs in the premiere and in ep 3 when they were all vulnerable. IMAGINE when they’re actually showing them fully in love with each other + being dedicated parents? THE. SERVE.

Final PBIO/IOTNBO analysis and theory

This post is my final analysis and includes some questions I have as we go into the final weekend of one of the best dramas in history. It is VERY long as I consolidate and expand on my previous analysis and theories.

I also lost a big chunk of this post while I was working on the draft just a few hours before posting, resulting to this post as a little inconsistent. Excuse me if my points are messy and some points missing with some issues untouched (because I forgot 😭). I think most points can be linked back to my past theories so you can read up on them if you haven’t.

List of my theories before ep 14:

Do Heejae and the other woman

Moonyoung’s background and Go Daehwan

Head Nurse is NOT Do Heejae, she’s the previous housekeeper

Maybe Head Nurse really is Do Heejae

As usual, please note that anything I quote may be a mix of Netflix’s subs and my translation because I know Korean and Netflix tends to miss nuances sometimes.

Firstly, Park Ok Ran’s dead.

Let’s get this out of the way first. (You can read my first theory on her role in this whole saga.)

“She can’t come anymore.”

Can’t have her exposing Park Haengja. Or plot twist: she is alive and returns to save the trio from the villain 😆

No one’s memory is reliable

Not Kangtae’s as established in ep 6 that he didn’t remember his mother brought them to eat jjamppong because he’s the one who liked it, not Sangtae.

Not Sangtae’s. In spite of his good memory, it was established in ep 10 that he didn’t remember Kangtae saving him, so his memories can be flawed as well.

Therefore, not Moonyoung’s, and definitely not Go Daehwan’s.

There are few things that we can be sure because they are concurrent:

There was a female body in the basement that was disposed or disappeared.

The murderer of Taetae Bros’ mother wore Moonyoung’s mother’s a one-of-a-kind brooch.

There was a body in the reservoir.

Taetae Bros’ mother was the new housekeeper (I saw that some people disagree but here are the supporting screenshots).

There were definitely two women

My theory that there were 2 women in Moonyoung’s family still stands and I’m expanding on it.

Let’s look at the family photos first. There are multiple versions of the family photo, and I suspect they were taken at different times. Here they are in what I think is the chronological order.

1) Photo in the basement: Go Daehwan had full-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung wore a scarf and stood closer to him with his hand on her shoulder, and the lady wore a fully black high neck top with the brooch on the right.

Before the family moved in, on the day Go Daehwan showed the lady around the house, he was wearing the full-rimmed glasses, and the house looked lived in (fully furnished, fully decorated, shelves full). 

2) Go Daehwan’s photo: Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses, Moonyoung stood right in the middle and without the scarf, and the lady wore a blazer over a straight neckline blouse with the brooch on the right.

3) Park Haengja’s photo seems to be the same as Moonyoung’s: Go Daehwan with half-rimmed glasses, can’t tell whether Moonyoung was wearing a scarf or not but she sat nearer to the lady who wore the same blazer over a straight neckline blouse without the brooch.

Go Daehwan had half-rimmed glasses when he realised his wife killed Taetae Bros’ mother.

Photos are evidences of relationships. In a group photo, the people who are closer would pose closer to each other. These family photos tell us that Go Daehwan and Moonyoung were actually close, and showed us the progression of Moonyoung’s relationship with the woman.

But why were multiple photos taken? If they were the same woman, why are they still hiding the woman’s face in the photos?

When Go Daehwan killed his wife, he said, “If I die, my daughter will become a monster like you.”

Why was it “my daughter” and not “our daughter?” It’s even odder for Koreans because being a very collectivist society, they don’t claim people or objects as mine. They say “our country,” “our father,” “our daughter” to show unity even when they actually mean “my country,” “my father,” “my daughter.”

Moonyoung insisted she’s an orphan. Technically, when one biological parent dies, the child is an orphan (single orphan). So perhaps Moonyoung’s not wrong. And as explored in my second theory post, she might have been referring to her biological mother. The abusive woman was probably her stepmother.

Go Daehwan told Director Oh that his wife loved Moonyoung “terribly. Very terribly,” and we have Moonyoung who doesn’t want a child to not get jealous over Kangtae’s affection. Judging by the family photos (Moonyoung posing closer to the woman each time), perhaps the stepmother was jealous of the father-daughter relationship and became obsessed with Moonyoung.

Would a child be afraid of their parent because they didn’t want to be hated? I was just afraid my mother would scold me (which was a lot). Right, we can argue that her mother was abusive, but this is something to think about.

Park Haengja: stepmother and crazy aunt

Bluebeard the French folklore, which ep 6 was based on, is about a man who married several times as he killed his disobedient wives. According to Wikipedia, his final wife had invited her sister and others over for a party before she snuck away to explore the forbidden room. Bluebeard found out and was about to kill her on the spot when her sister and brothers arrived to kill Bluebeard.

It was also in ep 6 when Taetae Bros moved in that they specifically had a shot of the dolls in Moonyoung’s old room (the brothers’ new room). I mentioned this previously: one male doll as Go Daehwan, two female dolls in similar dresses as Moonyoung’s mother and stepmother, and one small female doll.

You can see the two dolls behind little Moonyoung in her memory of her father reading her a book.

The dolls are a representation of the Go family in the house because in ep 7, only the small female doll (Moonyoung) was left, and I think there are 2 more new figurines as Taetae Bros on that cabinet but I can’t be bothered to search for a clearer shot 😁

When Go Daehwan strangled little Moonyoung, afraid she would become like her mother, they featured one of the dolls in the shot.

The point of mentioning the dolls is: Moonyoung’s mother wore a similar dress as the dolls in most of the flashbacks.

Ep 13 was based on the Korean folklore The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon and its popular movie adaptation The Tale of Two Sisters (2003). IOTNBO has more links to this story than “the bystander is worse than the abuser.”

In the movie, Moon Geunyoung’s character frequently dressed in floral patterns (like the dolls’ and Moonyoung’s mother’s dresses).

In both the folklore and the movie, the sisters were named after rose and lotus flowers. In the folklore, it’s the sister that died who was named after the rose flower. In the movie, it’s the surviving sister that was named after the rose flower. The rose is also a motif of Moonyoung’s mother.

The flower language of rose is love and passion. Personally, considering how Moonyoung always thought of her mother when she brushed her hair, and her love for a head pat, I think the rose also symbolises her mother’s "affection."

The movie is a story of two sisters who were abused by their stepmother so badly that one of them died. As it turns out, the remaining sister developed dissociative identity disorder (DID; the same disorder as the patient Yoo Sunhae) with two other personalities: her dead sister (Moon Geunyoung’s character) and her stepmother.

I take this as a lead that Moonyoung has a stepmother, who also happens to be her aunt obsessed with her sister. Wicked Witch of the West (WWOTW) coveted Wicked Witch of the East’s (WWOTE) ruby shoes; perhaps the aunt wanted to be in her sister’s shoes, figuratively AND literally.

Now here’s another “coincidence” from the same:

Left: Moon Geunyoung. Right: Im Soojung (sister with DID).

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he went to the castle.

The story Go Daehwan read to little Moonyoung mentioned a bad wizard that wasn’t invited to the birthday party so he/she went to the castle to cause trouble. 

Glinda the Good Witch of the North described WWOTW as worse than WWOTE.

Go Daehwan, who had recognition and memory impairment, said his wife has an angelic face but a devil lives within. Perhaps he remembers two persons as one.

We learnt from Sangin that 1) Do Heejae came from a prestigious family of medical professionals, 2) she dropped out of 3rd year of med school, and 3) she cut ties with everyone in her family. Could she have a sister in nursing? Could she have cut ties with her family because they cray cray (or the good old "you’ll starve with a creative career")?

Park Haengja has not claimed herself as Do Heejae, and the woman in the family photos are still covered.

Following these, we can assume that Park Haengja’s the bad witch who is neither Do Heejae nor Moonyoung’s birth mother. She’s the stepmother and crazy aunt (I cover more about the sisters in the next section).

There’s always a crazy aunt or uncle.

It’s just too easy if Park Haengja really is Do Heejae. I’d also be disappointed in the writer if she takes this route because it’s cliché villain and this is not a makjang drama with illogical plot twists. It would also be a step back from all the efforts this show has been making to dispel stigma against mental illness.

So they were sisters and...

...one of them died. In water. 

As per my first theory, the WWOTW and WWOTE are sisters in some adaptations of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. WWOTE died under a house then disappeared into thin air, and WWOTW pretended to die in contact of water but she returned disguised as a good person. Sound familiar?

The Story of Janghwa and Hongryeon is a Korean folklore of a stepmother who abused two sisters to their death. She had her biological son push Janghwa the older sister into a pond and she drowned. The remaining sister couldn’t take the abuse any longer and drowned herself in the same pond.

The song “Oh My Darling Clementine” has a few variations but here’s the traditional lyrics (I removed repeated stanzas):

Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine In a cavern, in a canyon Excavating for a mine Dwelt a miner, forty-niner And his daughter, Clementine Light she was and like a fairy And her shoes were number nine Herring boxes, without topses Sandals were for Clementine Drove she ducklings to the water Ev'ry morning just at nine Hit her foot against a splinter Fell into the foaming brine Oh my darling, oh my darling Oh my darling, Clementine You are lost and gone forever Dreadful sorry, Clementine Ruby lips above the water Blowing bubbles, soft and fine But, alas, I was no swimmer So I lost my Clementine How I missed her! How I missed her How I missed my Clementine But I kissed her little sister I forgot my Clementine

These stories are all about 2 sisters and dying in water. Whether they’re sisters or not, a woman died and she’s related to Go Daehwan somehow.

The Murder of the Witch of the West

Do Heejae’s novel hold huge clues. Here’s my translation of an excerpt from volume 9 shown in ep 10.

… __’s scalp skinned with a hunting knife without hesitation. The corpse’s lips sewed in a fence stitch. The body dismembered with a hand axe and thrown into the trunk. Yooyoung persistently as she watched the back of the West Witch leave unhurriedly after finishing the killing and leaving notes.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Why do you choose to kill happy people only?"

But as usual, there was no answer. Was it because of Yooyoung’s tenacity to catch the West Witch? Yooyoung always sees the West Witch at the crime scenes. A faceless woman who always observed Yooyoung work hard on finding the criminal before leaving abruptly. Yooyoung began to look at the crime scene from the criminal's perspective. Why here? Why kill by stabbing this way? As she simulates the crime, Yooyoung finds herself assimilating with the criminal. She felt a thrill from imagining that she stabbed and cut the victim. She’s getting confused. Is she a detective or a murderer?

Around the same time, a murder occurred. The West Witch mimicked a passage from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, everything was in line with the Wicked Witch of the West, right down to the signature butterfly design. However, Yooyoung somehow felt guilty.

...

The suspect was a middle-aged woman in her 40s.

Yeah.

The misunderstanding

Othello killed his wife because he mistook his wife for committing adultery.

Romeo and Juliet mistook each other’s plan. Romeo died from drinking real poison, and Juliet faked her death before realising the mistake and killed herself with Romeo’s dagger.

Janghwa was framed and wrongfully accused by her stepmother for being unchaste. Her father believed it. When Janghwa ran away, her stepmother and stepbrother chased after her, and her stepbrother (under her stepmother’s instruction) pushed her into a pond to drown to her death.

What did Go Daehwan misunderstand? What misunderstanding did his recognition and memory impairment cause? Why was his wife being crazy but looked so shocked when he turned her around?

I do not believe that his memory of killing his wife is a complete memory because it has been mentioned multiple times that his memories are corrupted. I think it’s fragments of different memories pieced together.

What’s going on with Park Haengja?

There are a few possibilities.

Park Haengja is Do Heejae’s sister who coveted her sister’s position and grew obsessed with her sister’s novel.

Do Heejae’s Moonyoung’s biological mother and Park Haengja’s her stepmother.

OR Moonyoung’s biological mother died when she was born, Do Heejae’s the stepmother (abusive but still her mother because she raised Moonyoung), and Park Haengja’s the obsessive aunt.

She got so obsessed she came to believe she’s Do Heejae.

So obsessed she was always keeping an eye on Moonyoung to fulfil the prophecy that is the novel. ("You’re my greatest creation," and volume 3, shown in episode 10 with Park Ok Ran’s copy, has passages that describes episode 3.)

Park Haengja’s the one who killed Taetae Bros’ mother (screenshots of Do Heejae vs murderer below).

She took advantage of Go Daehwan’s cognitive impairment and instigated him to kill the real Do Heejae. She’s the one who saw Go Daehwan kill the woman and hide her in the basement.

Do Heejae wore her butterfly brooch on right, the murderer wore it on the left. Do Heejae always wore red nail polish and a gold rose ring, the murderer did not (although she could have had them removed if it’s premeditated).

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Moonyoung’s mother:

Murderer:

Clearly Do Heejae didn’t wear her brooch all the time, so it would have been easy to steal the brooch. However, Do Heejae wore her ring all the time, so Park Haengja can only get the ring after she dies and "truly” become Do Heejae.

End.

I think I recovered most of my points but they’re still feel incomplete 😭

Let me know your thoughts 😊

Ooof... HI blog mutuals! How are you? 

Back around January 5th, I had a cloud of commitments drift over my calendar at work, and I thought: :This will be a busy week.: Two months later... well, it’s a break period soon, and I will probably sleep through half of it. 

I have been getting a few drabs of writing done, but it’s pretty fragmentary. I made progress on the mc:tna WIP! *jazz hands*

I also spent a lot of time the past month or so on the couch watching TV, because I didn’t have bandwidth for anything else. I want to do a quick impressions post, in case anyone is curious about these programs, too!

Below, thoughts on:

Alice in Borderland (Japan; Netflix)

His Dark Materials (British; HBO Max)

Raya and the Last Dragon (US; Disney+)

Vincenzo (Korea; Netflix)

WandaVision (US; Disney+)

Alice in Borderland (Netflix - 8 episodes, ends on a -minor- cliffhanger)

This one really grabbed me by the throat, but in a way that is entirely about style and setting. Characters in this drama don’t have a long shelf life, and like Battle Royale, it is extremely bloody. Also like Battle Royale, how much enjoyment you get out of it depends on your tolerance for watching people group up and then be shocked when the strangers they’ve decided to trust (inevitably) gruesomely betray them. If you enjoyed the style of Cube, Hunger Games, The Game, or Matrix Reloaded, and can stand (or like me, fast forward through) the gore, you might enjoy this.

Random impressions:

I know why Arisu is the main character, but brass tacks: if he didn’t have plot armor, he wouldn’t be. Usagi, Kuina, Karube, or Chishiya the entire way.

Almost the second I turned it off, a full-formed plot bunny of how Chishiya and Kuina met jumped in to my head, so maybe that will get written someday. Because they’re the best (regrettable murder-duo tendencies aside).

Either the borderland is a simulation, or they’re all stuck in someone’s psychotic break-- there’s too much that doesn’t add up for it to be anything else (although the “aliens!” theory is fun).

His Dark Materials (HBOMax - 2 seasons (15 eps), 3rd season in production)

I really wanted to like this more than I did... If you’ve read the books, and enjoyed them, it is a beautifully filmed version of that, but the show sells the grand drama of a War for Free Will much too short. Like, my favorite things in two seasons were Lee Scoresby (Lin Manuel Miranda, surprising the hell out of me), the City of Citagazze (what?), Mrs. Coulter (...what?!), and Lord Boreal. 

Lyra, Pan, Will, the Golden Compass itself, the angels, the Spectres, the Magisterium -- ehhhh. They were fine. But not more than that. And some of the things I outright loved in the books were terrible here. Whoever cast Lord Asriel, the witches and Jopari/John Perry did...not do their best work, imo. I’ll probably watch season 3, but it won’t be a “must watch” for me.

Raya and the Last Dragon (Disney+ - animated film, ~2 hours)

I shelled out US $30 to see this opening weekend, and I’m not sorry about that choice. Reviewers are saying the story is a bit “generic” and...I guess? I think it depends on what you were expecting. But for me, this movie hit all my buttons - actual characterization for its female leads; humor; enemies to lovers friends; big epic conclusion to its story; found family; basically an RPG sourcebook lite approach to introducing the world; magic with consistent rules and NOT overpowered; BIG ol’ plothole at the end if someone wanted to write for it...

 There has been another criticism leveled, in that Raya tries to take a “pan SE Asia” approach with its setting that really, really bothers some viewers. I tried to keep an eye out for it when I watched, and quickly realized I don’t know enough about artistic influences from that area of the world to be able to tell. So it didn’t bother me, but in that I might be part of the problem. I will say that the setting seemed to be a little too “flavor-y” in its regions if it was supposed to be one country originally. But I mean, this was also a film with a giant rolling armadillo--  wasn’t thinking about it very hard.

Vincenzo (Netflix - airing now, new eps Sat & Sun in the US)

Ahaha, where to START?  I started watching this on a whim eating dinner one night, and it’s maybe my new favorite show. Netflix labels this a “dark comedy,” and yeah, I guess? I also sent my friend a text when I started binging this midweek that went, roughly:

“Ooh, now we’re staging an Italian mini-Epcot to stop the demolition gang, and GLITTER CANONS!! Also we’re ripping off The Great Gatsby.”

...and that’s the vibe, really. 

This is the rare drama where I feel confident saying: Watch the first episode. If you like it, you’ll like the rest (so far- ep. 6 just aired). I am a BIG fan.

WandaVision (Disney+ - 9 episodes)

Ohhhh, man. This was so much better than I expected, and the second trailer (above, if YouTube lets you see it where you are) gave me high hopes. It’s probably better if you have a vague idea who Wanda and Vision are, but you know I don’t know that you would really need that?

It’s about nostalgia, love, grief, and the stories we tell ourselves-- the ones that are self-serving, and the stories we think serve us, and don’t. It actually lets Wanda lead in her own narrative, for once, but doesn’t undercut what she’s had to go through to get there. Like a Korean drama, the first few episodes are going to seem underwhelming if you’re there for “big P” plot-- but give it room. 

Wanda facing down the beekeeper at the end of episode 2 gave me chills like very little has on TV for a while. Elizabeth Olsen packs a lot into that 2 seconds:

And Kathryn Hahn as Agnes is delightful. She’s totally on the up-and-up, of course-

Secondary shout-out to DR. Darcy Lewis, low-key saving the day and snarking her way through it. So happy to see her again, too.

I’ve watched the whole series now (last episode twice; cried both times) -- and I think this is going to be one of my favorite things of 2021.