An Interpretation of Confidentiality
I’ve been doing a rewatch of Lucifer, and I forgot how much I hated the season 6 episode “Save the Devil, Save the World.” There are so many things that piss me the hell off about this episode, and I find myself disliking most of the people in it for various reasons.
I mean, first there’s Linda, and I cannot express enough how much I dislike her in this episode. For all she spoke about Doctor-Devil confidentiality across the seasons, she started a very, very long book based on what should have been confidential therapy — and not just therapy with Lucifer, either, since it featured components of everyone’s conversations with her — and intended it to be mass-published eventually. When Lucifer found out, he had every right to be pissed (and, frankly, I was hoping he would be)... and yet he sees the best in the gesture and is legitimately enthusiastic about it… and then, later, she turns the entire situation into being about herself. It’s selfish and unethical.
Then, there’s the collective response to reading the book. Everyone jumps on Lucifer for how he portrayed them in the story, but the fact is that it’s not just his account that’s been put into the book?? It’s really unfair for him to get all the blame when the fact is that Linda knew everybody involved, that she’d had counselling sessions with all of them, and that the book contained things that Lucifer literally couldn’t have told her. I mean, the snippet about Maze and Dan feeding Chloe’s father’s killer to the Russians wasn’t something Lucifer knew about, or, at least, certainly not in as much detail as was contained in the narrative: not the exact wording, for example, of what they’d said. Linda quite clearly took information from everybody in the celestial inner circle — quite possibly including Ella — for her book, so blaming Lucifer for how everyone is represented is idiotic at best and purposefully unfair at worst.
And then there’s Chloe and her damn, “What if you think I’m smart and… and beautiful and ‘perfect’ because you’ve never stuck around long enough to see me at my worst?” I mean, on the one hand, I guess that I kinda get where she’s coming from, but also… She broke into his penthouse, trashed the place, stole his stuff, and tried breaking into his safe in a fit of pique because he and Ella had to go deal with a case on her birthday. She tried to poison him and send him back to Hell. She got addicted to super strength from Amenadiel’s necklace and tried to kill him permanently with Azrael’s blade to keep it. He’s very clearly seen her at her worst and consistently stuck around anyway, so acting as though she’s been a picnic the entire time is ridiculously naive and kinda insulting to him.
All of this is made so much worse by the fact that Lucifer legitimately doesn’t seem to recognize there being a problem. He takes the book-writing as a good gesture and makes the best of it; he does the same with Chloe’s decision to renege on their plan to go with him to Heaven without any notice. I’ve talked about the way he seems to view his own rights as not especially important in the post Needing the Eggs, but this entire episode showcases it. I really wish that someone alive had pointed out to Ella that three other humans had found out about Lucifer’s devil nature, and that it had prompted one of them to have a slight breakdown and two of them to try to kill him; Lucifer certainly wasn’t going to point that out and, while Dan kinda tried to do so, he had to do it through Linda’s book, which meant that it was contained in a single line that Ella didn’t even seem to register.
Honestly, the only two characters in the episode for whom I truly, completely felt bad were Ella and Lucifer.
I feel for Ella, I really do… I fully understand why she feels hurt. (I would say that I’m not sure that Lucifer actually knew that she lost her faith in the aftermath of Charlotte Richards; I don’t remember precisely what was going on, but I recall him being absent/extremely preoccupied at the time. I think that it might have been when he was worried about salvaging his relationship with Chloe post Devil-face-reveal/when she was trying to kill him, but I very well could be wrong. Either way, I’m not sure he was that aware that she lost her faith such that it’s fair to say that he just stood by watching without helping.)
And then Lucifer… I mean, Rory’s appearance was already a pretty vicious cut to any progress he’d made towards not hating himself (telling him that he’s no better than the father he hated, saying she hated him, trying to kill him, etc), but this episode… Slowly but surely, the entire cast of characters — including Ella, if I’m being honest, though, again, she’s the only one at all justified in it — spend their time jumping on Lucifer, slowly but surely eating away at that same progress. By the time the episode ends, he’s internalized everything into “You think I’ll fail, don’t you? My own therapist doesn’t actually believe that I’ll become God.” and “I’m not capable of real change.” (Oh, and then Chloe acts all surprised by that statement, trying to excuse her earlier accusations with “What I said back there… I was scared” as though that fixes anything, but not intending to hurt someone does not erase the hurt, especially since she’s supposed to be the one person who supports him, who has faith in him, etc.) All in all, this episode was the very last thing he needed.
I’m not sure that’s everything I dislike about the episode — it’s probably not — but I felt the need to express at least some of how I felt… Honestly, it might be one of my least favorite episodes of that season.
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Leo frowns at his phone.
Or more specifically, at the test on his phone.
Around him, he hears the sound of his brothers tapping their own devices, much faster than he is. Looking up just makes Leo feel worse about his own progress - or lack-thereof.
Mikey’s the fastest, speeding through the test like nobody’s business. He’d been the one to make them all do this stupid test in the first place, so it makes sense that he’s having a blast.
Raph’s slower than Mikey is, but he’s still clearly answering the questions at a steady pace. Sometimes he looks unsure, but he powers through anyway.
Donnie often looks frustrated, which relieves Leo somewhat because at least someone is struggling like him. But that “struggle” isn’t nearly as big as his own, considering that Donnie is answering about as fast as Raph is.
Leo turns his gaze back down to his own test. He’s still near the beginning, he thinks.
He’d put the same answer for the past seven questions - the middle of the road answer, neither a “yes” or a “no.” Then, whenever he does come across one that is more one direction than the other, he second guesses himself and restarts the test!
Sure, there are a few he could definitely give a yes or a no to, but…never the “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree” that the test seemed to want from him.
He eyes his twin sitting nearby, the softshell absorbed in the test. Maybe Leo should copy what Donnie put for some of these…
“DONE!” Mikey’s shout makes Leo freeze in place just as he started to lean over.
“What?” Donnie squawks, “No way you’re already finished, you must’ve been cheating!”
“It’s a personality test, Dee!” Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You can’t cheat at those!”
…
Leo settles back into his seat.
Ignoring Donnie’s mutterings about how it was “just because it’s not an academic test” that he didn’t finish first, Raph smiles encouragingly at Mikey.
“Hey, good job! So what’d you get, Mike?”
Mikey looks back down at his test, reading aloud, “Says that I got the “Campaigner”!”
“What’s that mean?” Leo asks, his phone screen going dark.
“Apparently, I’m an “enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free-spirit”.” Mikey reads, smiling at them, “You think it fits?”
“Oh, to a T, bro!” Leo laughs, giving Mikey a thumbs up, making Mikey’s smile grow larger.
Inside, Leo was feeling a lot more mixed about this. He has no idea how Mikey knew himself so well. Maybe Donnie was right and Mikey did cheat, because how could he answer those questions so easily?
Leo’s phone burns in his hand. He keeps it locked.
“Wow, that really is you.” Raph says, his eyes flitting back and forth between his own test and Mikey, “Do you think it fits?”
“I guess? It’s fun to see at least!” Mikey shrugs with a grin.
“Hold on, I think…” Raph makes a noise of satisfaction, “Okay, done!”
“Sigh, now I’m relegated to the straggler group.” Donnie grumbles, his thumbs moving faster as he tries rushing through the questions.
“Ooh, what’d you get Raph?” Mikey asks, practically bouncing in curiosity.
“Says, uh…I got something called the “Consul”?” He squints his eyes to read more, “Uh, “caring, social, and community-minded.””
“Sounds about right to me.” Leo nods. Can’t be more “community-minded” than being a hero.
“Yeah, no one’s more caring than you, Raphie!” Mikey says, moving to lean across Raph’s shell.
“You do put the community in mind, that’s for sure.” Donnie states, not looking up.
Raph chuckles, a bit embarrassed, “Aw, thanks. It’s just some test, but it feels kinda good to hear that.”
Just a test. Right.
Leo unlocks his screen.
The test stares back at him.
Right. Okay. He can do this. He can.
The screen ends up going dark again.
Frustration builds up in Leo. Was he even halfway done with the test? At this rate, soon even Donnie will-
“FINISHED.”
Leo unlocks his phone.
“What’d you get, DonTon?” Leo asks as his thumb taps the top right of the screen.
Donnie puffs up proudly, a self sure grin on his face, “I got the result “Logician” which states that I, obviously, am an “innovative inventor with a thirst for knowledge.” Truly could not have described me better, if I do say so myself.”
“It is pretty accurate.” Raph agrees with a nod, “Even calls you an inventor, so extra accurate.”
“Super accurate.” Mikey jumps in, eyes shining.
“Yes, yes, almost like reading my own character synopsis.” Donnie’s grin had not dwindled since the word “innovative” had left his mouth.
Leo just nods along, eyes on his own screen as he skims the words. “Yeah, kinda creepy how close it got. Could have called you a nerd for extra accuracy, though.”
Donnie turns to him, eyes narrowing, “Have you even finished your test? I can think of a few words that’d describe you fairly well.”
“Test-y, huh?”
Before Donnie can strangle Leo, Raph cuts in.
“Ok, ok, calm it down, guys.” He rolls his eyes before turning to Leo. “But really, you’re not done yet?”
“Leo’s taking this self reflection seriously.” Mikey sports a faux intellectual expression as he gives a jokingly serious nod. “Maybe we all should’ve taken our time.”
“Says the one who sped through the whole thing in a record time.” Donnie mutters.
Leo waves them all off, “Nah, I finished it ages ago.”
He grins when Donnie immediately shoots him a suspicious glare. “Oh, you did, did you? Then what could you have possibly gotten, Nardo?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Leo clears his throat, “Neon Leon just so happens to be an “Entertainer.””
“Ah. That confirms it. This test is meaningless.” Donnie drones.
“Hey-“
“What’s an Entertainer like?” Mikey asks with a tilt of his head, still hanging off of Raph’s shell.
“Glad you asked, Miguel!” Leo exclaims, “It says that “life is never boring” around yours truly~”
He emphasizes this “result” of his by waving his phone with said “result” on screen.
It’s just an image he found of his chosen personality result, but they don’t need to know that.
Raph nods slowly, “Well, I guess that’s true…”
“”Never boring” is one way to put it.” Donnie hums.
“You are pretty fun, Leo!” Mikey says emphatically, because he’s great like that.
“Thank you, thank you, life of the party, right here.” Leo grins, pointing both thumbs at himself.
He’s careful not to go too overboard with it, or else it might tip someone off.
Not that it…really matters. It’s just a test. Like Raph said.
As the topic around him shifts to something else, jumping away from this brief activity as fast as any other among them, Leo finds himself unlocking his phone and pulling up the test again.
Unanswered questions stare at him. He knows what answers Lou Jitsu would pick. He knows what answers Jupiter Jim would pick. Hell, he knows exactly what answers his brothers would pick.
He doesn’t know what answers Leonardo would pick.
Leo stares at the test for a second longer, before he exits the site and throws himself into the conversation happening around him.
It’s just a stupid test, nothing to worry about.
Just a test…
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ANTONY cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war
earlier in my script (which is not Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar), Antony refers to Dolabella as one of his ‘dogs of war’ when talking to Cassius (which IS a reference to Shakespeare’s JC), and it comes back around after Cicero writes to Cassius and informs him of Trebonius’ fate
While these things were taking place at Rome, Cassius and Brutus were collecting troops and money, and Trebonius, governor of the province of Asia, was fortifying his towns for them. [...] Trebonius, who was captured in bed, told his captors to lead the way to Dolabella, saying that he was willing to follow them. One of the centurions answered him facetiously, "Go where you please, but you must leave your head behind here, for we are ordered to bring your head, not yourself." With these words the centurion immediately cut off his head, and early in the morning Dolabella ordered it to be displayed on the praetor's chair where Trebonius was accustomed to transact public business. Since Trebonius had participated in the murder of Caesar by detaining Antony in conversation at the door of the Senate-house while the others killed him, the soldiers and camp-followers fell upon the rest of his body with fury and treated it with every kind of indignity. They rolled his head from one to another in sport along the city pavements like a ball till it was completely crushed. This was the first of the murderers who received the meed of his crime, and thus vengeance overtook him.
App. Civil Wars III. 26
For Dolabella is in Syria, and, as you have foreseen in your prophetic soul and have foretold, Cassius will crush him while they are on their way. For Dolabella has had the gates of Antioch shut in his face and got a good beating in trying to storm it. Not trusting in any other city, he has betaken himself to Laodicea, on the sea-coast of Syria. There I hope he will speedily pay the penalty of his crime: for he has no place of refuge, nor will he much longer be able there to stand out against an army as large as that of Cassius. I even hope that Dolabella has by this time been overpowered and crushed.
Cic. Fam. 12.14
Place then before your eyes, O conscript fathers, that spectacle, miserable indeed, and tearful, but still indispensable to rouse your minds properly: the nocturnal attack upon the most beautiful city in Asia; the irruption of armed men into Trebonius’s house, when that unhappy man saw the swords of the robbers before he heard what was the matter; the entrance of Dolabella, raging,—his ill-omened voice, and infamous countenance,—the chains, the scourges, the rack, the armourer who was both torturer and executioner; all which they say that the unhappy Trebonius endured with great fortitude. A great praise, and in my opinion indeed the greatest of all, for it is the part of a wise man to resolve beforehand that whatever can happen to a brave man is to be endured with patience if it should happen.
Cicero, Philippic 11
Philippi and Perusia, Ronald Syme
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