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#tbf it does happen quite often

nahoney22 · 1 year

Text

Different Tactics*** (part 2/2)

𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁 𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁 𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁 𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙

Tech X F!Reader

word count: 7.1k (phew)

After what happened between you and Tech in the cockpit, tensions were high. But how will you act when you hear that Tech wouldn’t mind taking part in the bet that started it all?

warnings: SMUT, NSFW. 18+ only. Explicit sexual content. Severe dirty talk, praising, swearing, grinding/dry humping, rough sex, p in v sex, consent, pure filth tbf, not an established relationship, dom!tech. Little bit of degrading if you squint. Comfort at the end. Let me know if I missed anything. Not proofread.

Masterlist

A/N I highly recommending reading part one which isn’t as filthy but it explains the build up to this fuck fest thanks bye 💜 only took me a down fucking year to do a part 2 lmao

part one (reuploaded, thanks tumblr 🙂) | part two

Hurried footsteps and loud hushed whispers is what roused you from your deep slumber on the Havoc Marauder. The last week had gone by agonisingly slowly despite all the missions you’ve been on, sleep taking over your body more often than not. You sigh, grabbing your data pad from under your bunk and see that it was quite late in the afternoon and that you should probably get a shift on.

You stand, stretching until a joyous and satisfying pop in your back appears. Running fingers through your disheveled hair to smoothen it out a little, you let out one final yawn and began to make your way to the cockpit to see what’s happening.

But before you could get there, a great force appears in front of you, screaming and you can only match the scream back. You stumble back, back hitting harshly against the control panel until you’ve hit the floor with a thud.

A hand rests over your chest, feeling how your heart beats against your rib cage at a resounding pace.

“Got ya!”

You blink up at the man standing in front of you, chuckling and soon to be joined by Echo and Crosshair who smirk down at you.

“Kriff, again? Seriously?” You groan, rubbing the part of your back that hit the control panel.

“Did someone get a fright?” Crosshair's eyes dashed with mischief under his raised brow and as you recall, that’s what he said the first time Wrecker had scared you.

You roll your eyes, “shut it.” Wrecker reaches his hand down to you and pulls you up to your feet and before you could gain your balance, Echo is already scanning you over with a device and nods satisfied.

“Not bad. 89.”

You furrow your eyes at him. “89 what?”

“Your heart rate of course.” Wrecker replies for Echo with a wide grin. “We’re doing that bet again because well, we’re bored.”

A strange feeling resides in your gut at the mention of the bet, your mind trying not to reel back to what happened with the last encounter with a certain Clone. “Oh.”

“Yeah, and as you can tell you’re the target this time.” Crosshair sniggers, folding his arms over his chest and leans against one of the chairs. “You better prepare yourself.”

You look at them all in disbelief. “Okay for one, Crosshair you aren’t doing what you did with,” you pause and gulp a little, even finding his name hard to speak, “Tech and the caf,” you finally finished, glad that the others didn’t seem to catch the hesitance. “And secondly, if it’s just you three I’m sure there’s no competition.” You tease them.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something else.” Crosshair drawls, seeming like he already had a plan anyway, “And it’s not just us three.”

And just like that all the air in your lungs is sucked out. “Oh? Is Hunter taking part too?”

The three exchange a look, almost amused that you would suggest Hunter would be the one to take part in these foolish games. Then again, Crosshair was here.

“No, Tech wants in.” Echo says casually and you sure had hoped your jaw hadn’t dropped to the floor.

You shift in your spot, wringing your hands together. “He does? Why?”

Echo shrugs, moving to the side as Crosshair moves away from the conversation. “Just said he wants to have a go.”

Wrecker then interjects, “Said something along the lines of ‘interesting, I too would like to take part in this little activity to see what I can do to make her heart increase’” he mocks in the worst impression that he can of Tech that you could not help but stifle a giggle at but then you took note of what he said.

“I think he said he wants to make your heart stop actually. Whatever that means.” Echo reiterates and then the pair of you leave you alone on your thoughts.

“Stop?” You whisper to yourself, rubbing the back of your neck in confusion.

Ever since that night, you and Tech had not uttered a word to one another. Even in battle not a word is shared. If he walks in your direction you find yourself looking away or retreating, excusing yourself in front of the others who seemed none the wiser. If it did cross your mind, you became hot. Just like you were doing now.

When you close your eyes, taking in the idea of Tech wanting to increase or even stop as Echo said, your hands jitter as your mind flashes with images of you grinding on Tech’s lap, his hands grasping onto your waist as you whisper the most sinful things you have ever spoken.

You find yourself breathing a little heavy but when a creek in the hallway snaps you out of your daze, you jolt and eyes widen ever so slightly to see the vision of your thoughts standing right there.

He’s standing, tall and seemingly unfazed by your presence. You however, have chills running down your arms and trying to keep your breathing at a steady pace but your heaving chest deceives you.

There was something behind those yellow-tinted goggles that you just couldn’t decipher. He’s looking at you as if analysing you, gaze trailing along the lengths of your body boldly until they settle on your eyes once again. Then, he tilts his head to the side but says nothing at all.

Words are failing you, unsure if words are even failing him as he watches you. All you can manage is a small nod of your head, and then retreat back to your bunk. You wanted to face him, to ask what he was thinking, but that was a question for another day.

—————

“Hello cyar’ika.”

You look up from your spot against a large tree, relaxing with your datapad as you download some stuff to read for the slower and calmer days. Echo stands before you, a hand behind his back and a smile on his face.

Everyone is outside, all doing their own things. Tech was sat on a crate by the ship's ramp, tinkering away, Hunter and Wrecker were sparring and Crosshair had gone on a small walk by the lake but in close range.

“Hey, you alright?” You lower the device in your hand and look up to the Clone, noticing he was acting a little… nervous?

“Very well, I have something for you.”

Instantly you grow a little apprehensive, wondering if that had something to do whatever it was behind his back. “Oh?”

His hand begins to move and in your head you just begged that it wasn’t a bug or strange creature of some kind but instead, he presented you with a flower. Instantly, you melted.

You’re a little surprised, eyes blinking at the yellow flower, its petals seeming to somewhat glitter. “Wow.” You exhale, slowly standing and taking it from him. “This is lovely. But, why?”

A man had never bought you flowers before, or in this case, picked one but it surely was the prettiest one you had ever seen. Echo watches your reaction and smiles warmly at the sight of you growing a little warm and shy.

“I saw it and thought ‘what a pretty flower that will look better with a certain pretty lady’.”

“Smooth, Echo. Smooth.” You laugh gently, taking the flower into grasp but as soon as you do, your smile fades when you see him pull out a scanner.

Typical.

“Kriff sake Echo, I thought you were being nice not for part of the bet.” You pout, twirling the stem of the flower between your thumb and finger. Here’s thinking that one of the boys would actually be nice to you. Well, they usually are but it’s different when one presents you with a flower. Echo felt a little bad too but since he knew was now two up from Wrecker at 91, he wasn’t too upset.

“I still want you to have it.” He tucked the scanner away but pushed back the hand that was coming towards him with the flower. “I also meant what I said.”

You raise a brow, questioning him.

“T-that I think you’re pretty.” He clears his throat, chest puffed out a little as he said it with certainty. “Beautiful, in fact.”

Okay, maybe you couldn’t be mad at him. You hum a little, giving with a wry smile but thank him regardless. “Thanks sweetie.” You muse and the two of you embrace in a quick hug. You were pretty sure Echo scanned you again when you weren’t looking.

“That’s… odd.” Echo mumbles quietly over your shoulder.

“What is?” You reply quietly, arms still wrapped around the back of his shoulders.

He clears his throat again, pulling away from you. “Tech.”

You give him a confused glance, looking in the direction of where Tech once sat to see him marching up the ship's steps and retreating inside. “What about him?”

Echo turns to face the ship too, folding his arms over his chest. “I don’t know, he was just… staring. Looked angry.”

Although Echo’s attempt got your heart rate to 91, you were convinced just by his words alone it got up a few more but that’s simply because Tech had obviously been watching the exchange between you two. You ponder why Tech seemed ‘angry’ as Echo said as it was a rarity. For someone so calm and collected, the thought of Echo giving you a flower, calling you pretty- no! Beautiful in fact, as well as a hug could only mean one thing in your mind. Maybe Crosshair’s attempt will solidify the inkling in the back of your mind.

————

That evening as the sun began to set behind the Naboo clouds, you were standing by the lake, arms wrapped around your body as a cool breeze blew by you. With so much war going on, you forget how much beauty there was in the world. Glistening lakes, thunderous waterfalls, blue skies and orange sunsets. You wish you could stay forever.

You hear movement to your side and take a mere glance to see Crosshair standing by.

“Nice isn’t it?” You speak up, filling the silence that Crosshair usually gave.

He hums a little but nods all the same in agreement. “Yeah. The lake is cold though.”

You turn your head to him and give him a curious glance. “Have you been swimming in it?”

From his side-profile you see a small flicker of a smirk emerge on his lips which you couldn’t really understand why he would after your innocent question. “No. But you have.”

Pausing, you take in his words and ever so slowly grow a little nervous about the Marksman. “… I don’t think I have…”

He finally turns to face you, gnawing on the toothpick that you didn’t see. His eyes glisten with mischief and you feel fear settle in you. There was nothing you detested more than being thrown in the deep end of life and at the moment, the deep end of the lake. “Not yet.”

Rapidly, you began to run and head straight to the ship but non-surprisingly, Crosshair had already caught up to you and caught you. His arms snaked around your body and you’re hoisted over his shoulder which left you kicking and screaming at his back.

“SOMEONE! HELP ME!”

Your screams alone had the boys racing out of the ship, seeing what the problem was with their weapons aimed and ready to save you but when they spot that it’s just Crosshair being your ‘attacker’, they all let out sighs of relief. Well, most of them anyway.

“Crosshair, what are you doing?” Hunter ordered, shouting after his brother as the four of them followed after you both to see what was happening.

“She’s going for a swim.”

“NO I AM NOT! PUT ME DOWN!”

He stops just over the lake, a small drop over a ledge that will emerge you into the depths below. “Are you sure about that?”

You blink rapidly, squirming and trying to free yourself but even though it was somewhat amusing and you were laughing, you still didn’t want to get wet. “Yes I’m sure! Put me down.”

You couldn’t see, but Crosshair had glanced over his shoulder and was smirking at his brothers but when his gaze settled on his spectacled brother, he internally frowned. Tech is glaring, hand gripped tight onto a small screwdriver in his grasp that looks like it was about to snap at any second.

“Tell me, is there anything going on with you and Tech?” Crosshairs voice is quiet, just enough for you to hear and not the others.

Momentarily, your heart stops and you slowly look up, still dangling over Crosshair's shoulder to see Tech watching you both. He was such a difficult character to read. So long you had thought he took no notice of you but after what happened in the cockpit, perhaps it was different.

“No.”

“Very well.” He shrugs, a little too hard and that’s when you were sent tumbling into the cold water below.

You’re submerged fully under and once you breach the surface you're gasping for air as water fills your lungs. Coughing and spluttering, you look up to see Crosshair smirking down at you, kneeling before saying ‘I’ll get Tech to rescue you.’

He moves away and soon you're joined by four other pairs of eyes looking down at you, some amused looks.

“Urm, a little help?” You raise a hand, the other keeping you afloat as you kick your legs.

“Very well.”

You fleetingly freeze up when Tech speaks, moving closer to you and kneeling before you. There was a glimmer of hesitance in both of your eyes but as he extends out his hand to you, you find yourself reaching up for him.

He clasps a hold of your wrist and heaves you with surprising ease since your clothes were heavy after being soaked. Once you’re pulled free from the water, he starts to stand as you do. Unfortunately, there was some uneven turf by your feet which sent you tumbling forward but you were stopped by someone’s chest. Of course, that chest belongs to Tech.

“S-sorry.” You say through chattering teeth, immediately backing up and wrapping your arms around your body as you wring out as much water from your white vest as much as you can.

You look at Crosshair, who’s eyes flickered between your face and Tech’s, an almost knowing look yet uncertain at the same time on his face. “Sorry girlie.”

“Shut up.” You seethed yet your tone was a little playful. As usual, you couldn’t stay mad at your boys.

Echo apparoaches you and of course like he did previously, scans you. “Hm, 96. Crosshair is in the lead.”

“Honestly, my heart rate was going up more when I was dangling over his shoulder.” You tell them which earned a mix of reactions.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Crosshair wags his brows at you, flirtiness in his words. The others sniggered whereas when you looked at Tech, he stared you down to see if any flush of embarrassment crossed your damp features.

“Not like that.” You frown, turning away from Tech and heading towards the ship, “it was probably because that’s when I was scared to go in the water.”

Hunter soon turns to Tech, easily sensing something was awry with him as of late. He’s watching you leave and he picks up on how hard his heart is beating but says nothing of it. “What’s your plan then?”

The goggled clone stills for a moment and pushed up his goggles up his nose a little. “I do not want to say in case the others get the same idea next time.”

Softly, he pinches the fingers at his glove that once held you, pulling his hand free from its enclosure. Of course his attempt would be daring but as you turn round to look back at him on the ship's ramp,a good distance away and there’s a lust-filled desire in his eyes. Little did he know, you had it too.

“But, she knows what I want to do to her.”

—————

Your hands run through your soapy hair, rinsing away all the lake water and goodness knows whatever else away in the ship's shower. The hot water was limited so you had a quick three minutes to make yourself as clean as possible before Hunter complained that there’s no hot water left.

You’re rinsing suds off your body, splashing water over your face and as your eyes closed, instant visions of that evening with Tech flashed in your mind.

Heart palpitations ensue, a heat growing down in your core as the feeling of his hands on you from before made you subtly whimper. You often wonder what he was thinking when he looked at you and if he had detested you for what happened. But, seeing his reactions to you being close with his brothers made you think otherwise.

Your eyes shot open once that once warm water turned into seeming pellets of ice. Gasping from the sudden shock, you switch the running water off and step out, wrapping a towel around your body and drying yourself down. Slipping on some shorts to relax in and a simple shirt, you’re walking to your bunk whilst towel drying your hair when you spot your datapad light up.

Dropping the towel by the ‘laundry pile’ that magically appeared to which you still need to sort out, you swipe up the device and read a message from Hunter.

‘Hey trooper, me and the others have nipped out into Naboo for a small while. Should be back by 2100 hours.’ You check the time that read 1936 hours before resuming the message.

‘Tech is still on the ship doing repairs, just thought I will let you know as you were using up all the hot water before we left. -Hunter’

If you were sent this message many rotations ago, you would probably laugh. Instead, your mind whirls wildly as you over read ‘Tech is still on the ship’ over and over.

Your eyes weren’t deceiving you and you hoped but also didn’t at the same time if you heard footsteps approach. Hoped that it was him coming closer to act upon his part of the bet but also hoped that it wasn’t the case. What an odd predicament.

It was plausible that maybe you had wished he wouldn’t come to save your heart from exploding out your chest and to stop that whirling feeling in your stomach any time he was mentioned. Or even when your paths had crossed which was clearly all day everyday.

A gasp left your lips at the sound of someone clearing their throat, surprising you. As you spin round, there he is.

He’s donned in just his blacks, leaning somewhat cockily against the metal frame of the now opened door. Instead of his goggles covering his eyes, they were now propped on the top of his head and you think it’s the first time you saw the real colour of his eyes.

“Looks like it is my turn at long last.”

You’re truly frozen but so, so aroused at the sight of him. There was no denying you know what he had up his sleeve; you just didn’t know he had the gall to go along with it.

He takes in your silence and stunned eyes, fingers having a death-grip on your device. Pushing himself off the door, he crosses the threshold towards you with slow and agonising steps. “What ever is the matter? You don’t have to go quiet on me cyare… it’s just us.”

Tech stops in front of you and for some reason, you only just perceived how tall he was. You crane your neck up to look at him, watching as he tilts his head to the side and stares you down as if mockingly. “Loth-cat got your tongue?” He whispers, taking another step closer which only traps you between him and the wall. “Honey?”

Finally a shuddered breath blows past your lips, knowing full well that’s what you said to him when you first took control. “Tech… I-.”

He raised a hand slowly, cupping your cheek softly which causes you to inhale sharply. He’s warm against your cold cheek, making you stumble a little backwards until your back hits the cool wall behind you. “Easy there,” his voice is laced with a tone you had never heard before but it was nothing short of seductive, “don’t pass out on me yet.”

“Yet?” You whisper, your eyes fluttered closed, finding it unbearable to focus on him when there was a prominent ache now between your legs.

He chuckles a little and by the warmth of his breath now fanning your face, you knew he was a lot closer than before. “Yes, but don’t worry. I’m going to look after you, you have my word on that.”

So this was it, Tech was about to dominate you into submission in order to get your heart rate up. Or is it because he simply wanted to? You hoped for the latter oddly enough.

“Promise?”

Your voice is hushed, eyes slowly opening to see his own piercing ones that were able to make your heart stop alone. “I promise.”

With your consent, Tech wasted no time in snaking his arms around you and hoisting you up. He’s slammed you back into the wall, making sure your legs wrapped around his muscular yet slender upper body. Then, he expertly manages to grab your wrists and pin them above your head. You gasp, surprised how he managed to just hold you up with his body between the wall.

“Oh my pretty darling, do you know how hard it’s been for me to watch you all these days?” He sighs, leaning forward until his forehead touches yours.

“N-no,” you stutter, refraining yourself at the moment from becoming a desperate mess in his embrace. “Tell me.”

“No? How about I show you?” He thrusts up, rutting into you and that’s when you felt his exceptionally hard growth between his legs. Fuck, how you’ve missed the feeling of it. He’s chuckling darkly at your whimper of a reaction. “It has been this exceptionally hard.”

You sigh heavenly, head tilting back as he grinds his aching cock against you and you could almost curse for the two shields of fabric that were his blacks and your shorts blocking what you both really needed. “Tech, I didn’t know you had this side to you.”

Deep down behind the dominant facade, Tech is extremely nervous. He knew the limits, of course. But what were yours? What if he did something wrong or said something weird? Maker, he even thought he would appear more appealing by removing his goggles so now his vision was blurred and was struggling to read your reactions properly.

“If this experience bolds well for the both of us, maybe you will get to see it more often.” He clears his negative thoughts and replaces them with erotic ones. “Now, should I take your tactics on or should I use a different one?” He purrs, leaning in and sending warm blows down your neck as he speaks.

You're putty in his hands and you can barely think of a coherent answer in your current mush of a brain. “A-anything, please Tech.” Your hoarse tone tingles in his ear as you let out a delectable moan as he ruts against you some more.

“I’m unsure if you were aware early, but that little white shirt you were wearing when Crosshair threw you in the water? Your nipples almost pierced through the flimsy material.” He groans, thinking back to how he pulled you from that water and noted how stunning wet clothes looked on your body. All day, he had done nothing but think about ripping you out of them and making sweet, sweet ecstasy with you.

Your face flushed. “Really? Did the others… you know?”

“No. And I’m glad. I don’t want any of the others to think about you in the lewd ways I do.” He breathes, lips teasing the skin on your neck followed by another rotation of his hips as he presses to your sex.

“Tech.” You say suddenly and he pulls back in an instant, eyes a little wide with worry.

“Yes?”

“Were you jealous of Echo and Crosshair before?” There’s a flash of nerves in his eyes, swallowing the saliva that pools in his throat.

“What makes you say that, cyare?” His voice is quiet, moving one hand away from your wrists and down towards your neck, fingers only teasing the warm skin of your throat.

Your eyes flutter close at the touch of his hand, chest heaving just a touch. “They mentioned that you looked rather annoyed when they tried their tricks on me.”

He doesn’t want to admit it, but he was jealous. There’s a reasonable explanation of course and that is that you had captured his mind, body and soul. You were always attractive but Kriff, you were so seductive too. The thought of his brothers gifting you things as sweet as flowers and manhandling you like Crosshair did was enough to make his stomach tighten into knots. “I don’t want my brothers getting these types of ideas is all,” he says somewhat avoiding the question but not exactly a lie either, “only I get to make you cum. You got that?”

Maker, this dominating side of him was so sensational that you had to think for a second what it was you initially asked. “Yes Tech.” You say with a shaken breath, his fingers tracing along your neck before landing on your waist where he gently squeezed it.

“Good girl,” he breathes, the words in his mind sounding odd but as you mewl for him he knows he is saying the right thing, “now where should I whisper these filthy thoughts I have to you? Are you comfy here against my ships wall or would you like to go into the cockpit? Maybe I can remind you what it was you told me in there that you would love for me to do.”

Truthfully your mind was a blur about what occurred that evening so you couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was you had told him but you knew it was pure filth. “Do whatever you want to me, Tech.”

There’s a guttural sound that emerges from his throat, the cord snapping as he carries you through the ship until he gets to his bunk and throwing you down onto it. Before you could sit up he’s climbing over you, cock that was still aching against his blacks pressing against your core which instantly had you dropping backwards.

“Mesh’la I want to do so many things to you. For you. But how dare you tell me that, knowing I can not fully give you what it is I desire.” He snarls. “I want to penetrate you so hard that my name is the only thing you’ll think of for the next 24 hours.” Although dominant, his eyes are still soft and is making sure not to overstep any boundaries.

You’re subconsciously biting on your lower lip, thighs aching to close together to get as much friction as you can as this just wasn’t enough. You’re desperate and you just want to touch him. Somehow, he reads your mind as he takes a hold of your hand and places it to his chest. “Feel how my heart beats for you, this is what it felt like when you were telling me that you wanted me to cream that little pussy of yours.”

His words were pure filth. “Kriff Tech, h-how’re you so good at talking like this?” You don’t expect an answer and he even has to hold back from reiterating that he did deep research on how to ‘woo’ someone.

“Every man has his secrets,” he breathes through a groan, needing to steady himself so he didn’t cum in his pants just yet, “Gods, you’re so perfect writhing underneath me. Enchantress.”

Something in you snaps at his words and you can’t explain the thrill of when you lean up to him, capturing his lips against yours. It was your first kiss with him and for some reason, stealing a kiss seemed more ludicrous than him rubbing his hard length against you or you whispering sinful things down his neck.

His movements still completely, eyes shut tight as he processes what was happening. When you pull back, there’s a small whimper in his throat and he just stares at you in disbelief. There’s a fear you, somehow, overstepped but when you reach for his goggles and set them over his eyes, there’s a timid smile on your lips. “Can you see me better now?”

Chuckling softly, he nods and cups your cheek. “You kissed me… why?”

“Was it too much?” You ask, worry in your voice but his quick shake of his head relaxes you.

“Not at all, just unexpected.” He mutters, leaning down closer again as a subtle hint that he was willing to kiss you again.

“Just like us,” you mumble against his lips, melting, “unexpected.”

His kiss to you was one full of desire and need yet remains soft. His gentle roll of his hips picks up again and that dominant side to him dwindles just for a moment as he takes pleasure in exploring your lips. Your hands find comfort in his hair, hips arching to meet his own as you grind against another. “Sensational.” He breathes against you, breath hot as he ever so gently begins to trace his tongue against your lips, wanting that entrance you granted.

Tongues swirling in a heated dance, his hand roams your body until it stops just over your breast and daringly gives an experimental squeeze which causes you to make the most beautiful sound. “I need more, please.” You whimper pathetically, read lolling back as he pinches your stiffening peaks through the fabric of your top. “Take your clothes off.”

You didn’t exactly process what you said until you watched Tech sit up straight, stripping himself free from his blacks. With your eyes almost bulging out your head as you admire his form, he takes the liberty of sliding his hands up and down your thighs. “Maybe my cock will feel much better against you if I free myself… may I?”

He palms himself over his lower half and you nod eagerly, chewing on the inside of your cheek as he wiggles out of his clothes fully where you finally see what was pressing against you. He’s stunning. Long with a perfect thickness.

“Oh Tech.” You mutter, leaning up and grabbing him by his bare shoulders and yanking him back down where his length was definitely a lot more noticeable against you. “Wow.” You say through gritted teeth, panting as Tech begins his rutting but this time traces kisses along your neck.

“You want to know what I want to do to you?” He grunts, getting himself worked back up to his dominant stride. “I want to stick my cock deep in you, letting it rest inside you as I use you as my little cockwarmer. When I’m piloting the ship you can sit right on my lap with my cock piercing you. Of course we’ll have to be careful - we can't have my brothers seeing us like that, can we?”

There’s no chance at all you could answer him, your arousal is too extreme to even comprehend any type of words. He chuckles at your silence, knowing that it wasn’t out of discomfort but out of ecstasy as he feels just how wet you are through your shorts. He looks down between your legs, grabbing a hold of his cock and moves it up and down to the point he can feel the outline of your soaked folds.

His groans are deep, eyes blown with lust at how lucky he is to even be in this position with you let alone rubbing his cock against you.

“Take them off.”

He looks up at, seeing you sat up on your elbows as you admire him teasing you.

“Are you sure, mesh’la?” He asks gently, hands trailing down your legs once more before setting on the band of your shorts and once you nod, he slides them down your legs and throws them to the side.

Glancing back down at your now exposed pussy, he melts. His jaw becomes slack and his legs tremble with resound eagerness. “What a beautiful, beautiful sight to behold.” He bites on his hand that he brought to his lips, a little in disbelief that you looked so wet just for him. “Stunning.” He reiterates, inhaling a deep breath.

The cold breeze against your bare sex makes you shudder, even more so when he begins to pump his length. “Maker I could cum all over you right this second but that would be unfair wouldn’t it? Let’s not forget that I need to make you cum first and foremost.”

“For the bet.” You mumble a little to yourself but he hears you and his heart twisted before shaking his head furiously.

“Kriff the bet, that tedious game does not matter to me anymore.” He edges closer, his warm tip gently touching your exposed pussy as he begins to grind against you once more, both of you getting the sensation of his length and your cunt rubbing against one another.

“O-o-oh how wet you feel.” He stutters, pausing his movements so he didn’t accidentally breach you although between you both, it’s awfully tempting to just go at it. Languidly he sighs before taking your hand and bringing it to his lips, kissing over your knuckles. “If I were to fuck you, how would you want it, truly? Hard and fast or slow and steady?”

His words were so soft spoken you almost sob at how careful he was being with you, knowing this now has to mean something a lot more. There’s a building in the pit of your stomach, full of desire just as much as you did the first time you were intimate with Tech; maybe a little bit more now.

“Why don’t you find out?” Your words were brave and they hung in the air as Tech stared at you wide-eyed but like a man starved.

“R-really?” He holds his breath, lips grazing over your knuckles. Your words made his cock twitch, eager in anticipation as it rested along your slit.

“Just fuck me, please.” You whisper, eyes set straight on him, flickering between your legs and then up at him.

He drops your hand and wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer, cock slipping beautifully between your wet folds and as he mumbles incoherent mando’a he sheaths into you. Both of you gasp at the contact and he almost faints at how tight you are.

“Maker,” he moans, head tilting back as he adjusts to the feeling of your walls clenching around him. He pushes against your heat, your pussy swallowing his thick head as he pushes deeper into you until he can’t no more, “so good. Fucking beautiful.” His cursing sends shivers up and down your arms and as you look at him, your heart swells. He was so beautiful. The dim lighting of the ship casts perfect shadows over his body, somehow defining all his best features and with his goggles on as well? Wow.

“M-move, please.”

He obeys, pulling his hips back slowly before pushing forward that makes you groan like a whore. Each movement spreads you wider until his rhythm picks up, bunk squeaking with every roll of his hips. “You want this cock, huh?”

“Yes Tech, please give me that fucking cock!” It felt like it belonged to you, that your pussy was only ever designed for him. He snaps his hips, cock filling you with a single stroke and he chuckles seeing you gasp aloud, laughing lustfully meanwhile he grabs your legs and holds them over his shoulders.

“Going to elevate your hips so I can hit that spot inside you. I want you to moan my name as I fill you.” He orders, getting into position and sure enough he is rutting into you like a man on a mission, filling you whilst his tip hits that spongy part inside you that was felt in your lower belly.

“OH FUCK TECH! YES, YES, YES DON’T STOP.”

His cock pulses inside of you, sweat glistening along his brow as he gazes down at you, seeing your back arch wonderfully as you welcome his cock like the needy girl you are. “Good girl.” He purrs, eyes almost black with how much they diluted.

After a minute or two he leans more into you, snapping you in half so your knees were at your head with his cock still moving in and out of you. He’s grinning coyly upon seeing your reaction to his bold moves, your slutty grin matching his as he pounds into you with every fibre of his being.

His hands place on either side of your head, keeping your focus maintained on him as he spews the horniest things he ever dreamed of saying. “Look at you welcoming my cock like a good girl. Maybe I should take you into the cockpit and fuck your pussy from behind like you begged for last time. You remember saying that huh? Oh Kriff you are a dirty girl, aren’t you? You’re my slut but also my good girl because you’ve taken me so, so well.”

You’re whimpering beneath him, never knowing your body could bend the way it is to the point you could feel his heavy balls that slap against your arse. His thrusts were relentless and so hard.

“Teeeech.” You whine, mouth parting as you pant.

“Look at you opening your mouth for me. It’s as if you’re begging for me to claim you fully with my spit… but you’re not that much of a dirty girl… or are you? Come on, answer me, pretty girl.” But then, he gets an idea. You couldn’t even fathom words but you were so desperate to allow him to do whatever he wants to you, heart racing so fast which gives Tech the perfect chance to dive his tongue straight into your mouth. He starts letting go of your legs so they fall from his shoulders and to the side. His body is flushed against you but his frantic thrusts have died down and instead, he’s rolling his hips ever so gently, indulging more in the kiss like a man starving of oxygen.

His tongue is hot in your mouth, both muscles meeting perfectly as he swallows your sweet moans. “I love kissing you.” He pulls back breathless, cheeks heating up at his quiet confession. There’s a sense of vulnerability there and it’s rather endearing from him. You place a hand to his cheek, pecking his lips as he rests inside you, catching his breath back.

“I love kissing you too.” You gush. “I… I love this.” You gesture to the obvious nature you're both in, sighing as he rolls his hips once making him smile upon seeing your reaction.

“I would be more than willing to ignore this as a bet and do it for as long as you are willing to have intercourse with me.” His foreheads rests against yours and you have to suppress a small laugh. For someone who was just talking about cockwarming, it was rather endearing to hear him go back to his usual formal self. “We can stop if you get bored of me.”

You blink up at him, tilting your head. “How could I ever get bored of a man like you?”

He doesn’t answer, a little bit too bashful and instead resumes fucking you. He sits himself up a little, arms resting either side of you as he gazes down at you as he picks up the pace again. “I don’t think I’m gonna, unghh - last m-much longer.” He sighs through gritted teeth, hitting that spot deeper and deeper in you.

“Me too… fucking stars please fill me with your cum Tech.”

“Why?” He chuckles darkly, “want to walk round the ship with it dripping out of you?” He reiterates what you had once said, making you blush hard.

“Of course. Why else?” You say with a cocky grin which set a fire inside him. He is holding your hips roughly now, fingers biting into your flesh as he picks up the pace - faster than ever and fucking you like should be fucked.

“Such a good girl. You ready for me to cum, hm?”

You nod quickly, begging for his release and with three more thrusts, his cock pulsed inside you allowing you to feel his load invade your body. Then, as he pressed down on your lower stomach as he pushed further in, your pussy complied completely. Stars blurring your vision, your orgasm ruptured through you causing you to make noises you had never heard yourself make before. Tech is a stuttering mess, whispering soft praises as he kept pushing himself into you slowly, making sure that every drop of his seed was filling you out until he couldn’t fuck you anymore.

Your cries of pleasure had softened to a whimper by the time he pulled himself out of you, leaving a sloppy and lewd mess in his wake. He wipes his forehead, panting before he massages your quivering thighs, cooing you until came back down to reality.

“I-I hope that was to your liking.” He mumbled, suddenly feeling very shy as you sat up, brushing your hair out of your face to look at him.

“It was lovely. Thank you for looking after me.”

“Yes, well, I said I would.” He says gently, placing a hand on your knee, thumb tracing over it.

The two of you fall into silence but this time it didn’t seem awkward at all and after a few moments he had asked if he could kiss you again. It was so innocent, hand cupping your soft cheek as he leans in and kisses you so gently that your heart stops.

You didn’t know where this would go from here but by the looks of it, Tech was rather smitten with you. It isn’t long when drowsiness overtakes you both and instead of either of you leaving this time, he drapes a blanket over the two of you.

He’s whispering comforting things to you, maybe once or twice asking for reassurance if he went too far with his words but you would silence him with a kiss and that was all the reassurance he needed.

It was not necessarily the same tactics the others used to get your heart going. Not at all, but it certainly was the best.

Maybe, just maybe, something will grow from this.

There was also definitely no point in Tech scanning your heartbeat regardless, as you’re pretty certain you have flatlined.

Masterlist

More Tech Works

tags: @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr r @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @discofern @theroguesully @equalityforcats @mustluvecho @misogirl828 @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @chxpsi @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @autumnleaves1991-blog @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @lucyysthings @tinyreadersmur @agenteliix x @photogirl894 @myinnerwonderlandmind @rintheemolion @kaminocasey @hotpinkplastoid @cosmic-persephone @imalovernotahater @swiftiexstarwarssimp @the-good-shittt @whore4rex @mundaytuesday @lizzowinkyface @dissociativesworld @lackofhonor @shinymoonstarfish

#nahoney22 writes #tbb tech x reader #bad batch tech #bad batch tech x reader #tech x you #tech x reader #the bad batch #tbb #tech bad batch #bad batch #star wars #clone wars

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simlit · 3 months

Text

tagged by @izayoichan | (very unexpected, who could have foreseen!)

Who is the more romantic one? Do they wish their partner was more romantic?

Obviously we know the answer to this is Yehl. This is their major conflict; Taryn's lack of emotionality against Yehl's, perhaps, overemotional nature. Yehl constantly wishes Taryn was different in this aspect, and a lot of times, Taryn wishes he was different, himself.

What's something they can never agree on?

Sleeping indoors lmao

Who said 'I love you' first?

Again, we know this was Yehl (and only just recently, too!). Tbh, I'm more happy with the way it came about in the prose. It's more fitting.

Who is more likely to steal the other's clothes? What are their favorite items to steal?

Welp. Lmao I think every answer is just "Yehl". But well, it just wouldn't work the other way around now would it xD Tbf, there wouldn't be any clothes-swapping going on in canon, in Modern AU it's still pretty rare, because their styles are so very different and not really fit for sharing. But now and again after a night together, Yehl will put on Taryn's button up shirts and nothing else (Taryn's favorite ofc, ofc).

What are their favorite activities to do together?

*coughs* PG answer: Travel. This doesn't happen for a long time, Not till long after things have settled post original novel timeline. Then when Yeryn can finally be "together" in a domestic sense, before they build Lazu'Lei, and during that period before Zehel is born, they spend a lot of their time traveling, both for political reasons, but mostly so Yehl can see the world. Taryn promises to take him everywhere, and he's very committed to this promise.

Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

Valerian, their number one most devoted simp fan, and Judine. They get little support from the "other side" i.e. the dragonkin, and many still have reservations about their union even after the war. But Judine's friendship with Taryn persists. He is one of the few elves who never doubted Taryn's heart, and he has a good understanding of what he means to Yehl.

Which one is more kind-hearted and who angers easily first?

Both of these answers are, yet again, Yehl lol. The little paradox he is.

What is 'their song'? Officially or unofficially.

Bury Now | Crywolf

Who does what chores? Which chore do they both avoid?

Cop-out answer. Neither. Benefits of being a King and a Prince lol.

What’s their favorite “domestic bliss” moment? Do they cook/clean together? Do they like to go out shopping together?

They don't have many of these, but the most meaningful one is during Iphelia, the elven spring festival and biggest holiday for Yehl's people, Taryn always prepares him a traditional meal in accordance to elven Rules of Hunt. He does this by hand, it's the only time Taryn ever "cooks" or does anything related. I made a post about this once! Though they never eat together, Taryn always sits in on Yehl's mealtimes just to enjoy the closeness.

How do they silently show love or affection towards the other?

Yehl always stays close to Taryn. It's as much for his own sense of security as it is to show affection, as Yehl's past trauma dictates most of his actions. He feels a constant need for protection, so he'll gravitate to wherever Taryn is unless circumstance keeps them apart. Taryn is almost entirely non-verbal as far as how he shows love. Aside from the obvious, sex being his primary tool of communication, he actually does become very affectionate (somewhat surprising to me) over the course of the novel. Especially with the way he handles Yehl as his feelings for him begin to shift. These can be quite fleeting things, like brushing the small of Yehl's back as he passes him, or the way he begins to instinctively draw Yehl into his side, especially when around others. His defensiveness and need to protect, but also possessiveness comes out, and he'll often put an arm around Yehl and bring him close just to "secure" him, quite literally.

If they had a movie (or other fiction) couple equivalent, what couple would it be and why?

Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are the most equivalent. It's one of the things that drew me to TGCF, initially, because I actually didn't find it until some years after AoA, and immediately drew parallels between the nature of their relationship. Hua Cheng's legendary simping did inspire some of my rewriting with Taryn. I would say it is mostly their relationship dynamic, though. Not so much their personalities. Yehl is nothing like Lian (aside from maybe Lian's darker days during the Yong'an arc). But I do love to do this thing in the story where the wife (or "submissive" role) is far strong or more powerful than the dominant role. This is true for both Yeryn (Celaedian arc onward) and Naiven. This directly mirrors Hua Cheng and Xie Lian's dynamic. But honestly, HC is the superior simp. He'd never hurt XL. Taryn can't fucking relate.

What is the sweetest thing they've done for one another?

I'd say Taryn's is the above answer (the Iphelia breakfast). Yehl's isn't really a "thing", but something he said. Which is the line where he tells Taryn that he can never see his own mother again, but Taryn still can and that "he wants that for him". I think that singular line completely broke Taryn lmao, because it was the first time he ever realized Yehl had the capacity to love him as a person, and not just in a lustful or selfish way.

Which one is more likely to think Valentine's Day is lame?

Taryn, lmao. But he would never cuz that would upset His Highness.

How do they comfort each other?

Yehl knows that Taryn is his own worst enemy. So he will always try to get his mind away from whatever is bothering him, usually by asking him questions, trying to change the subject, or make Taryn think of something else. Because if he's mentally preoccupied with a different thought, then he can't beat himself up. For Taryn, he always comforts Yehl physically. He's still not great at understanding how to be "uplifting" otherwise lol. But most of the time Yehl really does just need to be held, so it works anyways.

What does a relaxing night in look like for them?

Sitting together in the quiet of a terrace overlooking the forest. Just listening to the sounds of night and being close. Talking idly about things that don't really matter, or saying nothing. Just enjoying the peace and tranquility of nature.

What is their favorite or most admired quality in the other?

For Yehl, it's Taryn's confidence. It's the thing he lacks most. Taryn is unafraid of most things, and faces them boldly, head on. Yehl wishes he was more like this. But he most loves Taryn's level-headed nature. For Taryn, it's Yehl's ability to accept his own flaws. His self-awareness, if you want to say that. That Yehl knows exactly who and what he is, and that he doesn't take his shortcomings out on others, but rather embraces them. Taryn always feels guilty for one thing or another, but never truly learns to make his peace with his flaws.

Which one apologizes first? How do they apologize?

Yehl. Sort of messily. He likes to apologize because things bother him, not necessarily because he did something wrong. Taryn is so unbothered by everything, so Yehl takes it upon himself to get upset over things he does or says on Taryn's behalf lmao. Even still he's reluctant about it lmao (so self-inflicted).

What's something seemingly innocent that the other does, says or wears that turns the other on?

Lmao the way I knew the answer to this the instant I read it. When Yehl calls Taryn "Your Majesty". Anytime Yehl addresses Taryn by his title or uses official/honorifics it's always, always to troll. Because he knows Taryn absolutely hates to be called by his title, and Yehl knows exactly what he's doing. Sometimes he does it specifically to piss Taryn off but these moments are few and far between. But to have Yehl say "Your Majesty" is the one way to ensure he'll be waking up unable to walk, because that shit gets Taryn.

What is their biggest regret in their relationship so far?

Yehl's death. Despite everything, and the fact that Taryn loves him unfailingly as Celaedian, he knows the burden the role brings, and all of the excess pain Yehl has to endure because of it. Even after Yehl "has his revenge", Taryn never ceases to feel that he, in some aspects, ruined Yehl's life. And, in some aspects, it is kind of true. As much as Yehl insists otherwise, the fact is he can't escape his life as Celaedian, and he can never go back to being "Yehl".

What is their favorite place to kiss their partner? Do either enjoy 'leaving a mark'?

For Yehl, Taryn's shoulders and arms. The place he holds his strength, and where he's most protected. For Taryn, similarly shoulders and neck, but stomach and thighs, too. The places where Yehl is most fragile and feminine. And yes, they both share a biting fetish. Taryn being the giver and Yehl being the receiver obvi. Taryn loves to mark Yehl, it all ties into his possessive dragon nature, but Yehl is more than happy to oblige him lol.

Which one is more adventurous in the bedroom? Which one has more experience?

Love this question, cuz I love expectation flips lmao. The answer to both is Yehl. Yehl was always the most experienced, having been pretty loose prior to meeting Taryn. He used sex as a way of spiting his father, but also attempting to fill a void inside him. By contrast, Taryn had never been with anyone before Yehl, and had to act entirely off of sheer animal instinct. Still, I wouldn't say either of them are crazy adventurous, they're very straight forward in the bedroom, and a lot of that has to do with Taryn's specific "kinks" i.e. Taryn having to be able to see Yehl's face during, and being the one to service (he doesn't enjoy Yehl to do so, Yehl must be worshipped everywhere, even in bed lmao).

Include one of your favorite moments between them!

Gosh this is so hard because I have so many lmao. I think I usually say when Taryn vows himself to Yehl, and it probably is my ~ultimate~ favorite moment. But the rewrite has had so many small scenes I just love between them. I'll say (again, probably not Valetine's appropriate cuz this scene hurts), towards the beginning of the prose during the monsoon, where they're sitting together on the chaise in Yehl's room and Yehl realizes he can't control Taryn. When Taryn tells him white is his favorite color, but he resents that it's "Yehl's color". The way that breaks Yehl entirely, as he begins to understand that he knows so little about Taryn, but that he deeply desires Taryn's attention. Idk why I just love the way it hurts so much and tells even more.

#jade babbles #ask game #I'll just go ahead and post it on its own #so I don't get cut off by wordcount or whatever #thank you for sending!

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taruruchi · 10 months

Text

☆ Azul and Taruchi's relationship timeline !

⚘ [ TAGS ] #slowburn #fell first fell harder #ansgt #it's been seven and a half chapters why haven't they confessed yet #but i will break them #chapter 7 🙏

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

Taruchi saw Azul and thought, "Man… He kinda scary." (Tbf she thought that about. Everyone) But also, "Wait, stop, he kinda pretty too"

Azul saw her and only went "??????" (as did the rest of nrc)

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐔𝐋 + 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐖

Nothing happened, though Taruchi did wonder about him and tried to catch glimpses of him in the halls

Though it was more out of admiration and curiosity

𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄

Taruchi probably died inside ngl. She had to give it to him—he pulled a very lawyer move. She did hate that fact too, because it meant more problems for her.

Remember when they spied on Azul?? Yeah… Yeah. She was totally not impressed at all, haha…

Anyways, she tried very, very hard to keep from hugging him after learning about his past. But she did offer many words of comfort. And died a little inside again when they went to the museum and that one scene happened. (pov the writer doesn't remember exactly what happened in the scene) She's thinking, "I probably don't like him and it's probably just admiration, right?" yet she still goes to the Mostro Lounge more often than she should

Azul probably just saw her as another problem. Did not understand why she was being so nice. "What is she trying to pull here?? Does she want some sort of compensation??" Yes. But nonetheless thankful. He probably offers her tiny discounts just as thanks, though he is wondering why she's there often.

𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐀

Taruchi: Dying Inside Pt. 2. She was honestly terrified when they came crashing into the Mostro Lounge. They're broke as hell, how are they gonna pay for damages??? Thankfully they agreed to help her and was once again Dying Inside when they all had to stay in that one room. She was internally giggling when they had to head back to Scarabia together. Genuinely impressed all over again. Like. "How does he knows all this stuff… Wow…" In total awe. Then she thinks about how much she'd owe Azul in the end and starts internally sobbing. (The writer doesn't remember if they owed him something) In the end, she's worried it's not just admiration

(I don't remember if this is canon or not but whatever) I think Azul would just consider this as his payment for causing so much trouble when he overblotted. I also think this is where he actually learns a bit more about her? (We ignore that Jade collects info on people) Through the lesson stuff, he learns she's smart and understands quickly. He's slowly starting to learn she's just genuinely nice. But he's still quite on guard around her, especially considering she knows his past.

𝐏𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐎𝐑𝐄

Taruchi is sad she's busy nowadays and is mostly stuck at Ramshackle. Meaning she doesn't go to Mostro Lounge anymore bc by the end of the day she's too tired. She knows it might be unlikely since he was so busy with the Lounge, but she hoped that Azul would be at the VDC.

Azul was wondering why she hasn’t been to Mostro Lounge lately then finds she’s been dragged to help with the VDC. He’s not sure how he feels, it’s weird. Later on, he decides he might as well drop by VDC to see the performance. After all, it was the entire reason they’d have more customers.

When the performance is done, they both see each other and talk for a bit… and they wind up spending the day just going around together. Azul goes back to his dorm more confused than before; meanwhile Taruchi is blushing all the way to her room and hides in her blanket. This night is sparkling don't you let it go I'm wonderstruck blushing all the way home

𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐇𝐘𝐃𝐄

Taruchi was in a classroom playing board games since the Board Game Club had met up. All of a sudden her friend and the lov— *coughing* her two friends are kidnapped??? She was RUNNING for a teacher but apparently other students were kidnapped too and she was friends with all of them. Maybe. Who knows about Leona

Oh, Rook is going after them? And Epel too? Well, count her in. She couldn’t do it on her own but she has two friends with her!! Me and the boys looking for classmates

The SHOCK when she discovers that one of her closest friends has done this. But also, so cool. But STILL how could he kidnap them all??

She’s relieved when she hears everyone is fine. Until it all goes downhill

When they finally meet up with everyone, it takes everything in Taruchi not to run to Azul and hug him… So she does that with everyone. But Leona. When she finally hugs Azul, it’s a little tighter and she says, “I’m so glad you’re okay.” Azul sighs and asks, “Now WHY would you come here willingly??” to which her response is “I wanted to save you. ...I mean— you as in everyone” and he shakes his head

When they have to split up, while Taruchi knows it’d be better to go with the Pomefiore group especially since they have two third-years, she desperately wants to go with Riddle and Azul. Rook sees that and he suggests that she go with them. “You’re both close to her and four in a group is a lot of people, hm?” Rook gives her a knowing smile and Taruchi smiles back.

She has to witness her two friends arguing and while their snide remarks make her let out a small giggle sometimes, she also tries to mediate. When they have to fight something, both of them jump forward to protect her so she's just 🧍‍♀️👍 At the part where they talk about their past and their dreams, she absolutely melts. She didn’t think she could admire Azul more than she did before, but apparently she was wrong. When they take a break and Azul talks about what he wants to do in the future, she listens so intently. And then he leans on her shoulder and falls asleep

She and Riddle whisper to each other: “Riddlehelpme” “What do you want me to do?? Move him??” “No, he might wake up!” “What then???” “I don’t know!! …Do you want to sleep too?” “No!”

Taruchi gets bored and she’s tired so she also falls asleep… leaning on Azul. Riddle tries to fall asleep but ends up leaning on Taruchi too.

They all wake up like o_o and pretend it didn’t happen

Then they have a wild ride. Literally. And their scene is over once Riddle gets white hair and Azul and Taruchi are panicking over that

Until later on the ride back to NRC where she’s staring at Riddle and trying to get used to it. Oh and also she and Azul desperately want to say something about what they’re feeling but they never get to it

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐀

They… are closer and more awkward. Yeah, they interact more, but they can’t get through a conversation without internally freaking out and therefore making it end too soon.

Taruchi is regularly going to Mostro Lounge again. One day, she and Azul talk and she tells him that they found another clue on how to get her home. Their conversation goes: “So... The other first years and I have found a clue that gets me closer to going home (small smile)” “Oh! (smile) That's good news. I'm glad you'll finally be able to return to your world. (dying inside)” “Yeah, thank you (smiling but also dying inside)”

But you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow (<- the song genuinely made me cry) (Update: Guys nvm they're so Say Don't Go coded)

Taruchi realizes that it's only a matter of time before she leaves, so she decides she should try to get over her feelings! One goodbye was bad enough, this one would definitely be painful too. If she could make it less painful, the better. And no, you can't convince her to confess, she doesn't function that way

Azul also snaps into his senses and realizes he likes having her around and didn't want her to leave. It'd sting not seeing her at her usual table at the Lounge, not passing by in the hallways, not seeing her laugh in defeat as he once again takes all her money in Monopoly. But how is he supposed to tell her all that

[SPOILERS]

They meet again in Diasomnia during Lilia's going away party. Taruchi pretends she doesn't see Azul and continues talking to Lilia and the gang. Until Azul goes up to Lilia to say whatever he had to say, then she says hi and wanders off.

Azul finds her again and talks to her: “Hello, Taruchi. Are you enjoying the party?” “Oh, Azul. Hi. Yeah, there's a lot of people here. Though I'm sad Lilia's leaving.” “So am I. He's a good upperclassman. ...I've made an observation. Apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems like you're trying not to talk to me.” “N-no, not at all. Sorry if it seemed that way.” “It's all right...” (pause as he's thinking about if he should bring up his newly-discovered feelings, but it gets too awkward and she starts to leave) “Wait, Taruchi—”

Cue Malleys overblotting and putting everyone to sleep

The rest is dreaming and Azul isn't in it at all so!! To be continued!!

#☆ taruchi's writings ✍️#☆ 💙

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grodyego · 4 months

Note

talk about the relationship between Dove and Vega?

OHHH GLADLY !!!!!

dove and vega kind of take the longest to fully warm up to each other (rakesh is really kind of the binding glue that holds them together. tbf that remains true even after everybody is fully friends with everybody else, hes just kind of the heart of their team that way). they don't start out disliking each other or anything like that, but they are both mutually quite bad at making friends and interacting with other people in a "normal" capacity, for their own reasons (vega's a control freak who struggles to understand other people and dove lowkey doesn't even think of himself as a full human being most of the time), and they're both pretty stubborn by nature and thus naturally butt heads a bit. dove finds vega's apparently flippancy towards others and her only priority ever seeming to be her "work" or gathering data to be irritating at best and actively unnerving at worse. vega likewise is pretty quick to catch and callout dove's bad habit of projecting onto other people and the hypocrisy that lends towards and thinks it makes me come off holier-than-thou and preachy at times, so it causes some tension !

all that being said, given that dove and rakesh are actual partners in the field (and their relationship grows quite quickly), vega reasonably starts to get pretty apprehensive about becoming a "third wheel", which for dove's part he does pick up on, and goes out of his way to do things to reassure that that isn't what's happening (nor could it ever be, frankly). hes pretty good at recognizing that vega is still pretty young without condescending to her about it because he actually sympathizes with her position pretty greatly, he can understand what its like, hes kind of been there. vega for her part appreciates that most people seem to think both of them are creepy and weird, and she has a lot of fun kind of filling in some of the blanks for him on some aspects of the future he doesnt fully understand, cuz like. i invite you, fellow autists, to imagine how amazing it would feel to be able to infodump about everything youve ever been invested in, from scratch and in such a level of detail it was as if you were explaining it to somebody who has just showed up that day on earth

again vega's pretty limited in her social circle and usually insists she doesn't want or need friends, kind of in contrast with how she often behaves, i think she would even maybe initially be kind of. almost mad that not only has dove managed to make her care about him, but to the point where she is like, emotionally invested in his wellbeing and safety. NOT cool of him. she came to highly secretive questionable ethics factory so that she'd never have to do that again and then rakesh already took what was supposed to be her only one exceptions spot, now she's gotta care about two people ???? who both work in the "not only will you die it will hurt the entire time you're dying" department ????? thats exhausting. fuck those guys

#sorry this was getting long as fuck. but they trust each other a great deal #i would definitely say theyre the person they trust when they feel like. they cant trust themselves in a matter. does that make sense #can you tell from these asks ?? can you tell who my favorites are ?? can u....#oc tag #original tag #dove #vega

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wealreadywentdownontheship · 1 year

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A Look @ Cola (A Cowtale Ship)

Cola (Combination of Coyote and Illa)

Anxiety bros. But tbf Coy is far more stable than Illa. Their relationship would be rather soothing and the only way it’s happening is if Coy is patient enough to coax it out of Illa. Since Illa is a motherhen and pretty protective, it comes in handy for dealing with any of Coy’s anxiety and her own, she can try to help him work through his and it’d be much the same in return. There really isn’t any pressure on this relationship aside from Whip. But they’re both big dorks who can be shy at times. Basically an idiot couple. There’s not so much fighting as a lot of crying on Illa’s part, Coy is a bit too patient with her lol They match pretty well in some sense and it can make for a very easy relationship or one with too much hesitation, they could possibly bond. Friendship wise it’s more or less the same but Illa is far more invested in helping Coy come out of his shell comfortably and setting him up to be comfy. A breakup would be...bad. Illa is likely to just try the “stay friends'' routine but it’s doubtful Coy is gonna be down for it. They would likely end up actively avoiding each other because neither of them can adult feelings.

Random HCs

Coy sometimes does her hair, not well but he likes hair and she likes hers being played with. Yes they’ve had to cut her hair out of his hands.

Illa pretty much lives in Coys clothes, particularly his jacket. But that’s his jacket so he pouts.

Is terrified of Fernweh, Coy teases her about it but is also trying to work with her and her fear of birds. She thinks falconry is cool tho, just ten million feet away. Or more. Coy does zefrank style commentary to soothe her nerves.

When frustrated with her, he talks to her in German, she likes to respond in Spanish then it’s a war. It makes pointless arguments a lot easier because no feelings are really hurt and they get to be frustrated and vent before actually, ya know, working it out.

They’ve each picked up a bit of each others languages because both of them forget to elaborate when using a word the other doesn’t. They speak in awful mishmash at times.

Coy is amazingly the more “optimistic” of the two. But the bar is in hell so.

They’re pretty good at managing each others panic attacks. They’ve gotten to the point where they can mostly predict each others and work to mitigate or remove the other from the situation.

Both of them are flirty drunks and together they are idiots who try to outflirt the other. They are 100% the couple that flirts like they aren’t already together.

They sleep in trees a lot. If you can’t find them they are likely up there hiding and fell asleep.

Illa literally thought Whips name was Mi’Lord and Coy decided not to tell her because he thought it was hilarious. To this day he still teases her endlessly about it.

Coy is the little spoon more often than not. Illa calls herself his jetpack and it often leads to piggy backing once they can be bothered to get up.

Illa hates puns but there is nothing more enjoyable to her than seeing Coys exasperation every time she makes one. She makes them as ridiculous as possible on purpose.

Illa has object permanence issues with humans and Coy tends to forget people exist when working. This had led to both of them literally forgetting they are dating for weeks at a time. It amuses everyone around them to no end.

When Illa is being particularly stubborn and without self preservation Coy has a habit of sticking her up in trees so she can’t get down. She has absolutely broken an arm being stubborn about it and trying to climb down.

She wears his magic colors to make him blush. Particularly when its not her outerwear.

Illa is unaware Whip knows Spanish and tends to yell at him in it. Coy knows this and finds it hilarious and refuses to tell her.

She has no sense of direction and gets lost, Coy has to find her quite often and wonders how the hell she got there and how does she not know how she got there?!

Both are colossal dumbasses and therefore try very hard at romance but fail spectacularly. Candle light dinner? Oops the tablecloth is on fire. Get flowers? Oops she’s allergic.

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overbearingstruggles · 2 years

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Hi! Tbf I’m quite new to all this but what is the proof or why everyone thinks Alex and Janelle were dating again? Seems weird as I remember them back in the day and seeing thing make me think wtf 😅

So when I was making the Lisex separation timeline I fully realized just how much Alex/Janelle were impossible to pin down. Truly running on motherfucking vibes. If at the end of this you aren’t convinced I’m not even mad because when I say you had to be there noticing pretty normal posts in real time, I mean it!

Lemme start with including this little piece of crazy because personally(!!) I think in some way she helped fuel the Lisex separation. Alex is grown and he made whatever decisions may have lead to his farm vacation, but I cannot shake the way some things add up.

But fr, lemme just start with the singular Biggest Thing of her in his Magna Carta tshirt. If you aren't convinced with this being the biggest thing I Get It.

The first time we know of Alex and Janelle in the same space also happens to be the first time we see Alex being social in LA and shitfaced and having fun and they are scandalously (lol) sitting together on a counter. Suspicion starts immediately which seems unfair and yet

After that, she’s just always around. The only women seen here are girls who are dating these mens.

The rest of 2021 she is AT. THE. SHOWS. Erin and Shay are around often but she is everywhere! And she was never at ATL shows like this before when being besties with Jack.

Their first show is a drive in in Ventura, so LA adjacent, fine.

Their first proper show in Nashville

Lollapolooza - She had said Lolla was her first festival and she went for ATL? Friends? She gave good overalls content from the aftershow tho. Alex stays to hang at the gig with the girlies and to watch Miley

Back in Nashville for Sad Summer

She went to Vegas for their 2 in 1 day iHeart and Life is Beautiful performances which only Nano’s and Zack’s gfs went to

The comment about colored boxer briefs seemed ?? because of Alex wearing those jeans with high rips

She went in the pit at the LA show

There was a whole thing about a fan spotting them "on a date” at this Star Wars/nerd bar in LA called Scum and Villainy. Unfortunately the original blog that posted about it is deleted now.

Alex singing “Closing Time” at the end of a party and saying “time for Janelle to call us a car back home” and even this is like, well is he saying us as in he and Janelle? Or us as in the perspective of the other girls and Janelle is the one taking care? ???

She goes to AlterEgo in LA with several gfs + Erin. This is from after.

On Valentine’s Day, all the gf’s post about missing their mens because the guys were out of town and the LA girlies go out together. Janelle is always with the known gfs.

We will all die swearing this was a double date we cannot prove

She did her friend’s podcast and ?👂?

Now, Alex’s likes are pretty consistent but he doesn’t like the tshirt post and then becomes much less consistent. Not everything, but not nothing.

May is Erin’s birthday and everyone except Alex and Nano go to Mexico with the rest of the gang, but Alex does make this brunch. It’s nothing but seemed like it should be included idk. Alex and Janelle did sit next to each other but like, so what.

Granted this year has been super weird, but this was the last semi interesting thing she posted directly of ATL. Other friends/gfs went to this per usual but for once, not Janelle.

And then came the Halsey post and this questionable little jab and Alex swinging back to Lisa. There was this progression from being with the ATL crew all the time and then suddenly being back with her previous friend group more consistently again.

In conclusion, my gut says absolutely they were hooking up but I pretty much felt like this the entire time because who the fuck knows. So much blatant nothing between them felt like Something.

#I’ve never taken so long on an assignment but it has been a rollercoaster of a 2 weeks #and my laptop is broken rn this is so hard on mobile #I think I’ve made all the recaps I care to for now and I’m gonna take a nap #answered ask #awg #for more nothing lurk my tags #janelle #jh #recap #I love that this post is for me

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myjunkisyuzuruhanyu · 2 years

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Question from someone who can't recognize jumps: does Shoma actually have bad jumping technique or is that something fstwi made up to justify their dislike of his scores?

Tbf Shoma's jumps aren't his strongest point as a skater. Some criticism is valid, but not all jumps have serious issues. Shoma is more of an edge jumper (Axel, Salchow and Loop) than a toe jumper (Toeploop, Lutz and Flip). He has issues on his toejumps, but not on his edge jumps.

His edge jumps especially Axel and Salchow are pretty good.

Here is his 4S!

Here is his 3A!

His Loop is also one of his strong jumps, some ppl will tell you that there is too much prerotation and it's true that there is some prerotation, but contrary to toe jumps there is hardly any way to not have prerotation. There is a discussion about how much prerotation is acceptable and the ISU doesn't define it in their rules at how much degree prerotation is unacceptable. (Btw Shoma's 4Lo from Worlds 2022 is the highest scoring 4Lo ever, so at least judges don't seem to have issues.)

Here is Shoma's 4Lo!

His jumping technique on Toe Jumps (Toeloop, Lutz and Flip) is not "perfect". Especially his Flip does have a "questionable" takeoff, but tbf he got much better over the years. He will never have the pure tap of skaters like Yuzu but it's not as awful or invalid as some fans make it out to be. You will often hear that Shoma has prerotation in his toejumps, which is due to his tap of the foot not using purely the pick but more of the blade causing him to take off later from the ice than those skaters who use pure tap. In toejumps prerotation can and should be prevented, but in other jumps some degree of prerotation is normal. (also pure tapping is quite rare especially among ladies and tbf lots of skater have the same problem as Shoma but are hardly talked about)

Here is his 4F!

I think it's common knowledge that Shoma doesn't really have a Lutz. As to why atm he is working on it with the title "Road to 4Lz" . Here apart from the problems mentioned above he has an edge problem. He doesn't have an outside edge. But actually there are only a few skaters who have a good Lutz and Flip and are comfortable with either one for example Nathan Chen. (Even Yuzu used to have wrong edge on his Flip and "fixed" it over years)

I think despite the not ideal takeoffs on Shoma's jump his Toeloop and Flip have both improved leaps and bounds over the years. I would even say his Toeloop is one of the best jumps he has and also quite reliable and he can do his 4Ts from difficult entries like 3-turns. And I honestly like his Toeloop.

Here is a 4T!

I think the biggest problems fans actually have is the evaluation of Shoma's jumps which some fans deem as too high. To a certain degree - especially on his 4F -I can agree that his GOEs sometimes seem too high, but on his imo on his Axel, Salchow and Loop he deserves every point when landed perfectly. Only few skaters can jumps quad Flips and Loops though, so I guess because of the difficulty alone there is some reward in it already. It should not be like this but the truth is that a skater's reputation always does play a part. Shoma was the first to land a 4F and the ISU ratified it as the first 4F. So if the ISU approves of Shoma's 4F since 2016, it won't happen that he will suddenly not be valued for his 4F. You may have come across the thing that ppl argue that because of the prerotation his 4F is only a 3F or that it's a Floop, but ISU says it's a Flip and in the end I think that is what matters. (I think the criticism of the evaluation should be brought up to the ISU not Shoma and that if you want to "devalue" Shoma's Flip because of his technique they will have to start with adressing the issues already in juniors, because Shoma is far from the only skater with the problem, especially in ladies almost everyone has this kind of prerotation problem tbh)

I think though some of the criticism is valid Shoma is hold to a higher standard by the fans than the rules say. Prerotation is hardly ever taken into account for any skater and we also have to look at the whole field and all skaters not only those who seem to "profit" most from it (if judges would take it into account not many skaters would get positive GOEs for jumps at all) I do agree that skaters with perfect technique do get too little reward for the perfection of their technique, but this is a judging problem in general and not Shoma related. As long as Shoma's jumps are judged according to the rules that are applied on EVERYONE I don't see a problem in the way he is rewarded. Yes sometimes his GOEs are generous, sometimes they are not. And that's the same on EVERY skater. A lot more does play a part in judging that have nothing to do with skating - namely the country a skater is from, the politics of the federations, the reputation of the skater, GOEs that have been received in the past by the skater - none of it should matter, but as a matter of fact it does.

Shoma doesn't have perfect jumping technique for sure and all fans I know do admit that Shoma has flaws. But his flaws doesn't make his jumps invalid or his medals undeserved. Also it's not like Shoma does have straight +5 GOEs on all his jumps, so a lot is exaggerated. And frankly if fans tell you Shoma has "only bad jumps", they can't tell the jumps apart. And as always criticsm is fine as long as it's respectful, but in my experience a lot of "crictical fans" don't know much about technique either but are keen on devaluing Shoma for his technique. So I think a lot of the criticism is due to not liking Shoma rather than being concerned about fairness.

And lastly figure skating is not only jumps. So even if Shoma doesn't have perfect jumps, there are other areas he is often lower rewarded like for his spins - one of the best in the field - , his extraordinary skating skills, his musicality and artistry in PCS. So if we want to talk about fairness and how deserving Shoma is of his medals, we should take all into account that figure skating is about and not only the jumps.

#shoma uno #figure skating #tech talk #on how to tell jumps apart please look for other sources

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secretnameofeverydeath · 1 month

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just finished perdido street station and what a ride???? i don't know what to THINK about it. on the one hand it is wild and unhinged in the best of ways and i love the steampunk decay aesthetic and all the weirdness and the themes around dreams and change that reminded me of Sandman and i can see why people recommend it as original and Something Else in the fantasy genre

but then on the other hand the writing was so tiring sometimes and i am really not sure about the ending and how Lin's character was handled (who was one of the most interesting characters to me and also i was partial to her relationship with Isaac and if it was just tragedy, fine, but it feels so close to other stories around the suffering of women as a learning opportunity for men & it does not help the pov's of the women just ... stop at some point) and then also i was sometimes annoyed by the science and i am very much not a woman in stem but this felt very much like someone doing Science (they are throwing around coloured fluids and weird instruments and what actually happens haha no idea (which i have no problem with if it did not feel like Mieville feels like he is Actually On To Something in his writing))

and then also you know This book is something else and an interesting spin on existing tropes and then also it is a spin on tropes and why is Mieville (white, English guy) credited as like such an amazing original author? is it just becaus he did this first or because he coined the term new weird and because of his takes on weird fiction (which are often interesting tbf)? but like i kept thinking about Octavia Butler from whom i have read several short stories with similar themes, older than Perdido Street Station, and way weirder and more interesting when it comes to philosophies etc, and i even felt like the fantasy in this was still pretty classic (but maybe that's because this book jumpstarted a new trend, with all the urban fantasy nowadays, which is a genre i specically like & have read quite a lot in as well)

but then also you know maybe it's just about having fun and reading some fun and tragic and emotional story with lots of exciting twists and turns towards a heartbreaking ending and i am thinking too hard on this

cannot wrap my mind about it. but Lin deserved better.

#perdido street station #book review #books #reading #my writing #personal

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roci-wolf · 9 months

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no fr! i mean i get it when you don’t want someone telling you how you should write your work. like some people on here can be MEAN. usually though… writers mention that critical feedback is not welcome and i respect that.

which is why i only say anything to people who have structural issues.

the people who have plot issues or bad stories. or just… poor narrative and world building…. i kinda ignore. like tbf i wouldn’t want someone telling me my plot is bad and could be better kddhhdhdj

but i do like sit and kinda recreate a better plot like “if i wrote this story here’s what i’d do”. quite often it’s just… the whole concept that’s off. like a good idea that wasn’t expanded properly AHAHAHAH i’ve read so many of those

or overdramatic stories/scenes that don’t make sense and seem unnatural and would not happen irl. usually happens with comfort fics where reader is having a panic attack… they make it so dramatic and i’m just like… who in the world is behaving like that during a panic attack? 🤡

also wdym you’re in class in front of everyone and you sit down and start rocking back and forth because your friends are having an argument (after you yelled your head off) so your boyfriend holds you and rocks along with you whispering sweet nothings 💀

not saying it can’t happen. idk maybe it does. but it just sounds so unrealistic??? idk. some people are bad storytellersjdhdhdhdjsk

yeah, understandable, plus, criticism about plot can be very subjective, because everyone has their own taste and if i don't find a story interesting, someone else might. idk, I've learned that sometimes when i think a plot was not developed very well (for example, the pace being too fast or certain events feeling unnatural to me), other people say they enjoyed it nonetheless so i just mind my own business

omg yeah 🤣 i do that a lot too. ig that's how the first ever fanfic was created, we're all just victims to our imagination

oh, jesus, don't get me started. I've read SO MANY pieces of writing where a panick or anxiety attack is described so bad- i mean, true, i can't know if it can happen or not, but i have never witnessed it in myself or the people around me who ik have panick attacks as well and it kinda feels invalidating-

but at the same time what i perceive around me is just a tiny part of this wide world so who knows?? maybe some ppl truly do act like that. but some descriptions are sometimes... straight up cringe 💀

#roci's ✉️#sulfurcosmos

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c03xistentw01 · 1 year

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I don't trust anyone but myself. Also, I have no interest in showing any interest in putting my trust in someone in the foreseeable future either. I like going to the church cuz it's nice and quiet, not so many people to disappoint, not so many people who can disappoint you. Perfectly safe.

ugh I feel like I'm exponentially becoming bland and like everyone else, but on that note, Idk if it's just me or what but every time I meet someone of another nationality for the first time, I do see them as this tasteless-colorless-painfully-bland beverage but tbf, in most cases this feeling disappears and gets replace by the feeling of seeing them somewhat as a spicy Vin brulé. but no wait.

this doesn't happen quite often. Actually, they must really be something if this happens.

I do need to expose myself more, career-wise. I deserve it, I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

when sepide told me you can go anywhere alone and you're actually able to put yourself in situations like that, she had a point. There are not so many people who can actually do that and I've decided to consider that a superpower. I don't wanna get used to anything in life anymore. Getting used to places/people/situations sure does bring you comfort and piece of mind but I can't forever be running away from the hard truth that nothing in life is permanent and I.can.not.deal.with.goodbyes. I wanna minimize the required farewells. some are inevitable I know and I'm not trynna avoid them that's actually even more prone to creating problems, I just wanna optimize the farewell-function loss function. That's it.

A bunch of thoughts i had when i was on the bike (now, not sure if they are actually worth being remembered {probably not, but it's worth writing them since I'll be LiBeRaTeD from them}:

why can't i just be normal and seek a normal job like in construction

Via Santa Margherita, what do they have in there? pizzeria? not a pizzeria but a galleria.

I saw a protein bar, guess where. GYM

I walked past a church, guess what i heard them say. JESU JESU

I choose any hardship in life over depression. there's a storm outside? Idc Let's go to Mensa. I think this sure is the correct order of my priorities: mental health, social interactions, physical health, career + academia

When i don't feel like myself, I figure that's when guys like me. when i do feel like myself that's when i feel like I'm strongly repelling them.

I saw a guy hurrying from across the street. didn't know where to, Later I learned was the owner of some washing-machine-store-thing, i was like dude why are u running it's just a bunch of washing machines nothing more.

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luke-jace · 2 years

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I'm ramble about this Josh plot-line in She-Hulk and how they handled it. Projecting just a *Tad* ofc.

Like, yes, I get it esp w the ending she's supposed to Realize Her Worth and give up on him. And that he's an asshole.

but i gotta nitpick a bit at the messages.

Firstly like the messages are just... not set up right. They look sent one after another. It's a small nitpick but... ugh.

But, like... if he wasn't a dickhead, what kinda text does she expect back? like. Sure, it's def messed up to not respond, but... they're not actively texting each other either. Their messages are literally

"-date?-" "-yes-" "-date?-" "-yes-" "-okay-" "see you soon" "i'm here" that's it. Given the text behaviors of Someone I know, it's possible that, again, if he wasn't an asshole... that he just saw the text and went "okay" and moved on. And would possibly end up asking Sunday "hey, what'cha up to tonight" since she said she was off Sunday. (and honestly i kind of expected her to get back home and get a text from him that had just sent from the morning asking her out)

Side note, her text just... reads off anyways lmao. "that was fun. i can't stop smiling." just.. reads as Not having had fun. it sound... unenthusiastic.

but the response to all this as "you got ghosted, delete his number" and that it's Bad she sent another text... eh. No. You send a text like "hey's what'cha up to tonight" or something, and then if you don't get a response then, you've been ghosted. don't assume after One text. (which tbf, she did text him again and they were saying she had been ghosted and to delete his number, but i'd still give it til the end of the day. no response by the end of the day? yeah. cause keep in mind she was in an area with no reception, her text may show as having sent but might not have, or his response may not come thru. so whenever she gets home and it's confirmed her text sent... like. give it a bit, nothing... yeah...)

OFC. knowing the ending... yeah no shit she's not gonna get a response. he ghosted her. you right. but you gotta see it for the perspective of Not knowing those details. but also this is about the text she sent as well, that was def not the Best text to send. i'd literally just text 'hey whatcha up to' since as mentioned prior, they don't really text often anyways. that's a good text IF they had been texting quite a bit then it's weird to go without that communication so 'hey you okay' kinda thing would be Fine.

and you may say i'm nitpicking, but as mentioned, PROJECTION. i am def feeling this episode's point a Lot. do you know how many double or triple texts i've sent?? sometimes shit happens, sometimes ppl don't know how to respond, it's Weird man.

#original #she-hulk #she hulk #she hulk spoilers

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delusion-of-negation · 2 years

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Honestly if this girl really does have bpd like she said this makes a lot of sense. I don't mean to be ableist or anything but many people I know who have this disorder and haven't sought treatment can be very paranoid about people they think hurt them, believe in guilt by association, and have a hard time with reality. Again I'm not trying to be hurtful and I believe anyone can change with therapy which she very clearly needs

it depends on the person, bpd is a really varied condition, and what "is the illness" vs what "is the person" is a muddy question that I personally (as an alter, I may be biased) don't think is worth asking. so I never want to be like "ah yes, she is being this way because she has Makes You This Way condition" especially when it's stuff not everyone with the condition has, not everyone who is that way to that extent has the condition, we don't know the details of her situation or symptoms, whether it's the condition causing it or not is muddy even at the best of times, nine out of ten dentists recommend consulting your doctor to see if Makes You This Way condition is right for you. but to be clear, conditions have symptoms- absolutely 100% very obvious, that is indeed how that works, good job me- and sometimes those symptoms will make you act a certain way, that's a thing. when I get manic I would be turning into one of those supervillains from miraculous ladybug every time somebody phrases something rudely, I'd single-handedly destroy paris, I'm so irritable it feels like my skin is on too tight, and it is physically impossible to be all happy sunshine rainbow giggle machine when that's how you feel. like I'm sorry to the whole "your mental health issues aren't making you mean, you're just an asshole" crowd, but you try putting up with a rude person when you've barely slept and your entire body is on fire, you get snarky. that's like totally a thing and that's part of why I just don't hold grudges - because like, everyone has their reasons for acting how they did, they were being tormented by the demon in their brain, they've had a super unlucky day, they had some shit to unlearn, they were possessed by an ancient spirit, they haven't had enough sleep, they were a figment of my imagination, etc etc. and being pissy about it in a month isn't going to make it not have happened, it's just going to screw up both of our days, so I just let shit go. but speculating on the reasoning for a person's outburst in the moment tends to just escalate the pressure - I know that the only thing that makes me angrier than being told I'm lashing out because of my crazy when I'm actually not lashing out because of that, is being told it when I actually am lashing out because of that (like same with pms... okay tbf I can't quantify this to compare which is actually worse, but you get the message). anger is a very deep and primal emotion, it's a very Real feeling, like on every level, it makes you warm, it makes you nauseous, it makes your head spin while also making you focused, it makes your skin crawl, it engulfs your brain - I know that I feel anger more intensely than most people, especially neurotypicals, because of my health issues, and I often feel everything more Physically than mentally, but I think even for them it's this overwhelming feeling. so to have somebody be like "lmao quit it that's not real, that's just your silly little brain goo being silly" when you're in the middle of that storm, it just makes everything worse, y'know? so if this is her bpd making her paranoid and angry, then I don't think pointing that out would actually help all that much. that said, we're all having a hard time with reality right now, reality sucks and my psychosis has taken that as permission to go full episode, we're having a halloween special, a christmas special, the beach episode, the one where a character gets an evil clone. no but for real I'm suffering. like, psychosis and paranoia are super bad for me, and I get that, I vibe, big mood, same hat. but I'm not gonna extend sympathy to somebody who's acting like this and snubbing any sympathy I have offered thus far - if they come back in a month like "lmao sorry" I'll be like "bitch don't even worry about it, you doing good?" but right now all I can do is poke light-hearted fun at the stupid asshole being a stupid asshole in my asks, y'know? but yeah, you're not being hurtful or ableist, I don't think so anyway, just maybe not the time or place for attempted armchair psychology.

although I will push back on "everyone can change with therapy" because y'all really do need to stop treating therapy like a silver bullet. it's not magic, it's just talking. it's just teaching a handful of coping mechanisms and hoping you can talk your brain thingy into maybe punching something softer than a wall. it can't fix everything - I've posted about this a tonne before. but also, that's okay. like, I am totally for rehabilitation of criminals (heck I don't even like the word criminal, it's just like "yeah this person has law cooties" like shut up they broke the law that shouldn't be treated like a permanent debuff, it's just some dumb shit somebody wrote in a book because they were an asshole and then we all adopted some mythos about it that it's this super special awesome perfect infallible well-constructed magical thing that keeps the peace when 98% of them are like "you can't smoke this leaf you grew, ehh first cousins fucking is kinda icky tho, no butter knives in public, don't draw anime first cousins fucking I already said that was icky, you got a license for that buddy, and if you do it like this it's rape but if you do it like this it's rape 2 electric boogaloo and if you do it like this it's non-rape rape and if you do it like this it's assault by rape and if you do it like this on a tuesday at sunset it's spicy rape okay now onto sexual assault so if you do it like this it's sexual assault and if you do it like this it's assault by penetration and if you do it like this it's sexual assault by penetration by a cowboy and if you do it like-" and it's like that so they can have slightly different maximum fines for each one). but I don't support rehabilitation out of some dumb idealism that everybody is just going to stop wanting to do a crime if we fix the socioeconomics and talk to them for a bit, I say it because those things will reduce crime rates and help some people, and everybody else can just be looked after safely because why not. rehabilitative justice is just the best alternative movement to the punitive system. sticking someone in a cold, dank cage, surrounded by other troubled people, then releasing them after a few years... that definitely won't help somebody who can't be helped with therapy, and it won't help those who can be, so it's just like... people get pissy like "not everybody will be fixed tho! so we can't do it!" they want perfection from The Suggested Thing, and refuse to just look at the fact that current thing is demonstrably lightyears worse (see: renewable and nuclear power vs coal and oil, better public transport and walkable cities vs basically needing a car to do anything). I'm not a blind idealist, I know sometimes things never get fixed, and I just choose to want the systems of power to be forced to be nice in every situation. because why the fuck would you ever be like "ah yes system of power that controls our lives, here's your be a cunt card, remember you can only use it a hundred times a day :)" like bruh. [edit: to be clear, I was poking fun at the fact that here you have to have a penis for it to be classed as rape and there's just like a bunch of categories that really could all easily come under an extended rape category, I'm not saying rape should be legal lmao, just adding this because you know somebody is gonna misinterpret]

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

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Okay so, i kinda can imagine how and why graves fancies tf but what is it for tf that intrigues him about graves? "Why" did he fall in love

Hm. Well, I feel like one of the really big ones is that Graves is just... astoundingly honest and unapologetic in being exactly who and what he is. I think that's one area where his character is frequently misunderstood -- Graves isn't stupid (I'd even argue that he's frequently got a sort of shrewd clarity to the ways he thinks), he's simply incredibly straightforward and stubborn. He's not interested in expending energy on hiding or obfuscating himself which, for ol' Tobias 'Smoke and Mirrors & Find the Lady' Felix, must be almost like having a window into a fascinating yet perfectly alien world haha. I feel like meeting someone who’s so fundamentally on the same wavelength (lest we forget they did meet because they were trying to pull literally the exact same con just in opposite directions fadskhsajfa) yet so different from you in other ways would be incredibly intriguing.

For T.F., who's pretty explicitly on some level always running away from something, it must be something indeed to have a partner whose first instinct is instead to fight, to plant his feet and stand his ground against the world come hell or high water. (Which tbf he probably survived so long only because T.F. was around to be his common sense and/or watch his back lmao between them they make one reasonable-ish man.) It makes him this sort of… evidence on a nearly existential level that there is an alternative to fear and helplessness, especially if you’re not alone, handily encapsulated in one grouchy cigar-smoking Bilgewater boy.

I suppose what I’m trying to get at is that Graves has this very real, solid, grounding presence in his brash and heedless way, and I think T.F. is drawn to that as someone who floats along unmoored in the world a lot on his own. What can I say, he’s so reassuring to have around, it’s a great part of my enjoyment of him too haha. Also he's funny, whether intentionally so in a hilariously frank offhanded way or, quite often, unintentionally lol what more can you ask for from the love of your life than to provide endless entertainment either way.

AND I think it’s something about parts of Graves very few people – honestly, probably only T.F. in a few cases – get to really see. Look at the way Graves' rage deflates immediately in Burning Tides the moment he sees T.F.'s honest distress, or the sense of fondness for T.F. you get through his POV in the short stories. There is something warm and sweet and instinctively protective still there at the bottom somewhere that somehow survived a Bilgewater upbringing and everything that happened since (and perhaps survived precisely because he met T.F. when he was still quite young, so there's a little bit of, y'know. That mutual sense of realizing someone saved something fragile and small but invaluable inside you just by being there with you and not just not breaking it but protecting it without even realizing it.) The cheerful amorality he has in his hm. professional life doesn’t really translate into how he deals with interpersonal stuff. My sense is that there was always a spark of attraction there for T.F. right from the start – his bio calls them ’kindred spirits’ straight off the bat, which like :’) aww -- but what made him fall slowly and miserably deeper and deeper in love with no end in sight oh god oh help why are feelings and why do I have to have them are these things that become apparent only with time and as the trust between them grows – like the immense capacity for loyalty and… not devotion in the usual sentimental sense, but the way Graves is so unflinchingly ride or die once he’s actually found something worth it, and the one thing in his life he seems to feel like that about is their partnership. (No better evidence of this than the sheer immediacy with which he offers to work together again at the end of Burning Tides; he really got the truth of what happened back in the day like fifteen minutes ago and that was long enough for him to decide he’s willing to try for what they used to have again despite everything.) That way Graves has of immediately and instinctively thinking in terms of ’us’ and ’we’ that offers a camaraderie of equals so freely and… wholeheartedly?, the glimpses of vulnerability you get simply from how desperately he clearly wants connection with T.F. even if he’s not quite self-aware enough to name it or know what to do about it... things about him that could only shine through and grow in the context of a safe and stable long-term relationship (not necessarily a romantic one, though personally I of course always see at least romantic elements there) because where he grew up I can’t imagine there’d be many places it would be safe to show them.

And lastly I feel like some of it is about these innate qualities about Graves, and some of it is in the dynamic/energy they make between them. Have you ever had a friend where it doesn't really matter what you're doing, because while it's the two of you together everything, the whole world, seems funnier and bigger and more interesting? They've got that, that 'greater than the sum of our parts' joy not only in the other person, but in who you become with them and what you both become together. (Just look at them towards the end of 'Double Double Crossed'; these two idiots have more fun when they're together than all the rest of Runeterra put together. If you get that with only one person in your entire life I think that’s enough.)

Also, I mean, on a shallower note he's uh. he's hot hahaha. He's a big strong dude and from how TF has taken time out of his day to point out this obvious fact several times now across different forms of media I have to assume that that Does something for him.

#I hate to play the 'this is what my WIP is partially about' but sadly it would be very true to do so lol #sorry to dump an entire thesis on you here I just love graves a lot haha #tf x graves #twistedgraves #league of legends

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 2 years

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sometimes i wonder what would have happened if john and cyn had made it work. not in a "yoko broke up the beatles" kind of way, because she didn't, but because cynthia was - outside of the other band members and, like, mal - the only person who really *knew* john from before he was famous. she knew him as a person, an actual person and not an idea of a person shaped by the world's expectations and projections, and when he left her it seemed like he cut the last tether on his "real" life and let himself float away into the raging waters of fame and let it have its way with him.

and sometimes i just wonder if he needed that tether and would have been happier and healthier for it. or maybe he needed it to be cut. it's hard to know. but suddenly there's a lot of john and cyn on my dash and it's sad, it really is, because she was really important - to him, to the band, to The Beatles - and she didn't deserve to get cast aside quite like that. and i wonder what would have happened if she hadn't been.

Hey, anon, thanks for this thoughtful ask! I feel like people here sometimes dismiss Cynthia's role in John's life simply because in some, if not many respects, Paul had precedence over her. Also probably cause the way he treated her in the end was endlessly shitty and by all accounts less justified than his treatment of Paul, and I think mayhaps some people here just want to avoid thinking about that.

I'm sure John was increasingly unhappy with his late 66-67 lifestyle, which from what I can tell consisted mostly of moping around Kenwood, getting high and dropping acid as often as possible and waiting for Paul to show up and get him to write a little. I feel like he sort of projected his boredom, which in my opinion was clearly linked to depression, onto Cynthia. She, like Paul (and tbf like Yoko, in the sense that she was more likely to actively encourage his more erratic behaviour), just didn't really know how to get through to him effectively and help him. I think that made him feel very lonely and abandoned, which is understandable. But you're right that she did see him as a person and though I think she wasn't the greatest at helping him, she was pretty good at understanding him. Years later, she would pretty accurately identify his life as sad when not many others did.

Sorry I'm going off on a tangent. I don't think the relationship with Cynthia was especially romantically/sexually fulfilling to him in the end, so I think in that sense breaking up with her was fair (though of course not the gross way he went about it). His real mistake IMO was cutting her (and Julian) out of his life entirely. Dismantling his family to start anew with Yoko does to me seem to have detached him from anything resembling normality.

Sorry anon, I'm starting to draw a blank but I'd actually love to talk more about John and Cyn. Their story is sad but it's I think a pretty important part of the Beatles narrative as a whole. (I find it interesting that I see very few blogs who are interested in John/Cyn, John/Paul AND John/Yoko, where especially the John/Cyn fans don't engage much in talking about the other two)

#ask #anon #john #cynthia #jc #analysis

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