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python333 · 9 months

Note

your writing is literally the best in the cod fandom. we need more injured reader angst. it's too good

don't breathe — python333

— — — —

synopsis [reader] gets buried alive after refusing to give intel to enemy soldiers and *slips up and writes reader almost dying again* oops how did that happen haha

relationships platonic!price & gn!reader.

characters cap. john price.

word count 2.7k

warnings suffocation [reader], just generally really depressing thoughts, near death??, 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note aww tysm :(( dont say its the best im gonna get a complex LMAO but i appreciate it!! and yes i agree injured reader angst ftw :3 i present to you: reader gets very injured and theres a lot of angst and its basically just you suffering for a good 3/4 of the fic while the last quarter has the actual comfort!

“Hello?” You try again, your voice cracking and your tone as desperate as it can get, “Please, God, say someone can hear me.”

You’ve been trapped in a casket for about five minutes now—at least, you woke up five minutes ago. God knows how long you’ve been stuck in the stupid thing, but realistically, it’s probably been much longer than five minutes.

The last thing you remember from before you were buried is being in the interrogation room of some small terrorist group’s facility, one you and the others were led to believe was abandoned weeks ago.

Unfortunately, whoever gave you the information must’ve either had incredibly outdated information or was setting you all up for failure, because the facility was very much not abandoned and was instead full of enemy soldiers.

You all had already gotten into the building before you knew that, because of course you all had to be in the same spot at the same time—practically sitting ducks for the enemy—and of course you all had to be clueless about the possibly hundreds of people in the facility until it was too late.

As far as you know, everyone managed to escape. Everyone but you. They didn’t mean to leave you behind, of course they didn’t, they were more focused on just booking it out of the facility. However, because of that, you were now stuck—you assume—several feet underground in a casket that has a limited amount of oxygen that drops every time you take a breath.

You let out the breath you’re currently holding and suck in another deep breath, holding it as you think. Your strategy of holding your breath until you no longer could mostly worked, but it wouldn’t for long, you knew that soon you’d suffocate in all of the carbon dioxide gathering in the enclosed casket.

You don’t know how long you’d been unconscious in the casket, breathing in oxygen carelessly in your slumber, which made the whole situation worse. You didn’t even know how much time you had left.

You hate to waste your breath checking your comms, but the enemy soldiers had accidentally left your earpiece in your ear—the small device apparently going undetected under their radar—and you wanted to make the most of it. You move your arm from your side and press onto the PTT button on your earpiece, wincing a little at how cramped the casket was.

“Does anybody copy?” You ask again, staring up at the almost pitch black space above you, “I repeat, does anybody copy?”

It’s a vain attempt at contacting your team, really. You don’t know if they’re thinking about you, if the signal is going through, if they even have their earpieces on—you know nothing, and that terrifies you because you really don’t want to die right now but there’s literally nothing else you can do besides helplessly talk into your earpiece, not knowing if anyone’s listening.

Your lungs start to burn and you let out the breath you were holding, taking another deep breath and beginning to hold that one. The air feels… thick. It’s starting to get harder to breathe, and you know you shouldn’t panic but you can’t help the few worried thoughts that come to the forefront of your mind.

What am I going to do when I run out of oxygen and the only thing left for me to breathe in are my own discarded breaths? What will I do when all there is to do is suffocate? Am I going to try, in one last desperate attempt, to break out of the casket, or am I going to just lay here and die? Will my team try to find me, or will they forget about me? Have they already forgotten about me?

Before you can listen to any more of those depressing thoughts, a voice comes from your earpiece.

“H—lo? [c/n]?” It’s hard to tell with the static and the cuts in between the words, but you think it’s Price talking.

“Price?” You ask immediately, all thoughts of preserving your breath forgotten. “Holy shit, you can hear me?”

“Je—s— whe—e—” He cuts out for a moment and your stomach drops when all you can hear is static for a moment.

“You’re— You’re cutting out, Captain, what did you say?”

“Wher— —re you?” It takes you a moment to realize what he’s saying, your mind working much slower than it usually does, but once you do you shake your head negatively despite him not being there to see you.

“I don’t— I don’t know,” You respond, taking a deep breath before adding on, “I think I’m underground, I just know I’m in a casket and it’s getting harder to breathe and—”

“Okay, o—y,” You hear Price’s voice crackle, his voice becoming more distant and sounding almost muffled to you, “Sa— —ur bre—th, I’ll try to g—t some—e to track your— —tion.”

With the constant cutting out of his words and the distortion of his tone, you can barely register or process what he’s saying, and that only panics you more but you refuse to let your emotions get the better of you even in the state of disorientation you’re in, so you keep holding your breath.

A minute later, Price’s voice crackles through your earpiece again.

“Okay, we’ve got your loc—tion,” Price’s voice sounds… oddly far away, “We can—”

His voice slowly becomes muffled, and you release the breath you were holding without realizing it, slowly blinking up at the ceiling of the casket. A sort of haze falls over your mind and you can barely even hear Price anymore before you suddenly snap back to reality and hear his now much clearer voice loud in your ear.

“[c/n]? [c/n], are you still there?” You recognize his tone now, and you’re just a little shocked at the sheer amount of worry in it.

“Haven’t moved an inch,” You breathe out, before lying, “You cut out for a second for me, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay,” Price reassures you, “I said we got your loc—tion and we’re hea—g out th— —w. It’s not t— far away from where —e alre—dy are, we’re ba—ely three clicks away.”

“… Clicks?” You ask, your eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

“Yes, clicks,” Price replies, sounding concerned, before hesitantly asking, “… You know what those are, right?”

“I don’t—” You struggle to find words for a moment before you speak again, your own voice starting to sound distant, “I don’t think so?”

“What do y—u mean you don’t thi— —o?” Price asks, his voice sounding freakishly close, “Are you okay?”

“No, yeah, I’m fine,” You lie through your teeth, not wanting to worry Price further, “I just… how far away are you?”

“Just ab—t two cli—ks now,” Price says, before pausing and clarifying, “Two kilometers.”

Two kilometers… how far is that? “And that’s… is that far, or?”

“No, it’s not too far. It’s just a mi—te away, we didn’t ge— —o far before Laswell got your loc—tion,” Price tells you, “We’ll be there soon, ok—y? We’ll get y— —ut of there.”

“A minute—” You cough and feel tears pricking at your eyes from how hard it is to take another breath, “A minute?”

“Yes, a minute— [c/n], are you okay?” Price asks again, before laughing nervously, “You know what a minute is, do— —ou?”

“...” You struggle to answer the question, thinking long and hard for a few seconds before hesitantly answering, “… Yeah, I do, sorry. It’s sixty seconds.”

“Why’d it take you so long to answer?”

“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I—” You take a few shallow breaths, and feel a headache start to build up, “How far away are you guys?”

“We’re alm—t there,” Price promises you, “The heli’s ab—t to l—nd, and we’ll dig you up, and—”

Why is it so cold? Price’s voice cuts off and when he stops talking you realize that you’re shivering. You ball your fists up and can’t even feel your nails digging into your palms, your hands having gone numb from the cold, and realizing that makes you discover that your lips feel numb too.

Your ears start to ring and you feel that uncomfortable pins and needles feeling in your hands, the sensation slowly traveling up your arms, making you both wanting to peel off your own skin and also grateful that you can at least feel something besides the cold.

In the midst of your thinking, you hear muffled thumping coming from above you—whoever buried you couldn’t have buried you anything below six feet.

“—llo? [c/n]? Are you still there?”

You bring your hand up, the movement slow and sluggish, and you try to search around the side of your face for your earpiece. You eventually find it and when you do you press against it until you feel the PTT button being pushed.

“Still here,” You confirm breathlessly, coughing again as you take a few more shallow breaths, “I think I’m running out of— of… what’s the fuckin’ air that you can breath in, it starts with an o…”

“… Oxygen?”

“Oxygen, yeah,” You slowly blink up at the ceiling of the casket, “There’s— I think— I don’t… I think… I think I’m gonna pass out, Captain.”

“[c/n], don’t you fucking dare,” Price growls, “You stay awake, I swear to fucking god.”

“I can’t—” You take a few more shallow breaths, before coughing, the tears escaping your eyes reaching the corners of your mouth.

You can hear Price briefly talk with someone else, his voice the most serious you’ve ever heard it, before he talks directly to you again, “How much longer do you think you have before you run out of oxygen?”

It takes you a moment to register the question, but when you do, you answer, “Uh… I don’t— I think… maybe a few more minutes? I can’t tell, it’s just hard to breathe, I can’t…”

“Okay, okay,” Price softly says, gusts of wind blowing into his mic as he talks, “Give me a second, okay? We’re almost there, kid, we’ll— we’ll be there in just a minute, we just passed over you, I just need you to stay awake.”

“In a minute,” You repeat to yourself, before taking a deep breath, hoping that you have enough oxygen to make it out of this casket because you really don’t want to die here, not when there’s help just a minute away.

After what you assume is a minute or two, instead of thumping, you hear something cut into the dirt above you. The sound, however, is heavily muffled, so muffled to the point where you don’t know if you’re hallucinating or not.

Is that a symptom of CO2 poisoning? Hallucinations? You lay still in the casket and can’t help but release the breath you’d only just taken, the ringing in your ears starting up again and growing louder faster than they had before.

Your entire body is numb, your chest is heavy, and you can feel a sort of fog fall over your mind. You can distantly hear Price yelling through your earpiece, but you can’t find it in yourself to respond, instead simply laying there, your blinking starting to slow down before it eventually stops, leaving your eyes closed.

—

For a moment, you think you died and went to heaven, which would be weird, considering all the things you’ve done in your life. Not saying you’d go to hell, just saying God would probably hesitate for a second before letting you in through the pearly gates.

You blink awake, slowly but surely, and the first thing you realize is that you can feel things again. You tilt your head down to the bump under the white bed sheets laid on top of you, and squeeze your hand into a ball, watching the bump move and feeling your fingers dig into your oddly sore palms.

You let out a sigh of relief and pull your hand out from the sheets, bringing it up to your face and feeling the oxygen mask that’s been placed over your mouth and nose.

“Don’t mess with that,” You hear a voice say to your right. You turn your head and see a very tired Captain Price, dark eyebags hanging under his eyes and arms crossed, his hands having a white knuckle grip on either one of his elbows.

“…” You don’t say anything, instead you simply stare at him until he sighs and gets up from his seat. You watch silently as he leans over your bed and bends down, before pausing, and then quickly snaking his hands under your back to pull you up just enough for him to properly hug you.

You reach up with shaky hands and tentatively hug him back, not nearly as tightly—not that you don’t want to, but you physically can’t with how weak your arms are right now—but with just as much sincere affection. You can feel Price’s beard rubbing against your neck and hear his small sniffles as he embraces you tightly.

Maybe it’s his sniffling, or the way you can finally feel warmth for the first time in what feels like forever, or maybe it’s just the fact that he’s holding you with so much care and affection that it almost makes you burst at the seams, whatever it is, it causes you to tear up as well.

Those tears quickly become sobs that bubble up in your throat and crawl their way out of it, forcing you to tuck your head into the crook of Price’s neck and muffle your sobs in it, muttering a small ‘sorry’ after each one.

After each ‘sorry’, Price responds with, “It’s okay, let it out, sweetheart, you’re okay,” and those reassuring words only make you cry more because God, you didn’t even think he’d find you, yet here he is, letting you cry into his neck and is reassuring you after every apology that it’s okay.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” You mumble a litany of apologies into Price’s neck, your breath stuttering and hitching as you try to hold back your sobs. Price only shushes you and rubs his hand up and down your back in a comforting gesture, bringing his head up to kiss the top of your head.

He tucks your head under his chin, “Don’t apologize, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

And fuck, you know it’s just words, but it only makes you cry more.

Your sobs eventually stop, leaving you hiccuping against Price’s neck, silently crying as he continues to rub your back.

“I thought you died,” He whispers, his hand stuttering on your back, “I thought you died and I was going to dig up your dead body, when you didn’t answer me.”

You stay silent, letting him continue, “I thought you were dead when we dug you up and needed to feel your heartbeat for myself to confirm that you were still alive.”

He pauses for a moment before continuing, “I’ve been here ever since they put you in here. I haven’t slept, I’ve just stayed here, waiting for you to wake up so I could tell you that I—”

He chokes up for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing, “I’m sorry for not even thinking to drag you out of the facility with me when we all ran out. You were— you were right there, and I couldn’t just grab your arm and take you with me, I just had to leave you behind and I—”

“You watched me while I was asleep?” You ask quietly, your eyebrows drawing together.

Price pauses and pulls his chin off of your head, and pulls you away from his neck so he can properly give you the most incredulous look he can pull, before saying, “I’m pouring my heart out to you and apologizing for practically leaving you for dead, and that’s what you’re worried about?”

“Well, I’m not worried, I’m just—” You shrug, not knowing how to explain it. Price sighs and chuckles quietly before tucking your head back under his chin.

“You’re insufferable,” He mumbles, sniffling a bit.

“… I forgive you, by the way,” You say after a moment of silence, “I didn’t really blame you in the first place.”

“You had the right to.”

“Sure I did.”

“But you didn’t blame me.”

“Right.” “…” Price stays silent for a moment before pressing another soft kiss to the top of your head and saying quietly, “You should blame me.”

“Maybe,” You mumble back, “But I won’t.”

Later, maybe an hour later, if the others see you asleep in Price’s arms while he keeps your head tucked under his chin and rubs your back affectionately—no they don’t.

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rise-my-angel · 4 months

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You are sooooo right about shippers not engaging with Jon as his own character. It’s especially weird for me (despite enjoying Jonerys in theory) to see Jonerys shippers doing this because like. They haven’t met. None of them are show!Jonerys fans for obvious reasons so it’s just the book versions of these characters and they have not met. Literally it’s all speculation about their dynamic. Despite being open to the ship under specific circumstances I don’t think it’s undeniably foreshadowed at all. Everything that gets called foreshadowing is tenuous. You can’t generally definitively call something foreshadowing until the events being purportedly foreshadowed actually come to pass, unless it’s truly really screaming in your face obvious but if it’s that obvious I’m not sure if it’s that good from a writing perspective. I think foreshadowing should only really be clear in retrospect. Shippers also are so selective in what they’ll acknowledge just do they can hold onto these moments. Like jonsas and the Slynt beheading. You’re so right that it is a JON moment. And shippers refuse to acknowledge that George say he was originally going to have Slynt HUNG, not beheaded, until someone pointed out that Jon would want to do it the northern way. Of everyone I think Jonrya shippers do the best at acknowledging Jon as his own character and I think it’s because there’s so much in the actually text demonstrating how much Jon and Arya care about each other. It’s not speculation unlike with Jonsa and Jonerys. It’s just that they read this and think it’s romance instead of sibling love. I can’t say I blame them because of the original outline, but it’s also a ship that is really really not for me because they were raised as siblings.

I actually sent you an ask months ago and forgot to check your response. I finally found it. I discussed how much upbringing influences how we know who our relatives are and that that’s why Jonerys doesn’t make me uncomfortable the way Jonrya and Jonsa do. I’m an evolutionary biologist so I fully understand why incest is avoided. However, I didn’t know how much we actually CAN detect our blood relatives without being raised to know who they are. I fully believed it was entirely upbringing, because upbringing is sufficient to establish someone as “relative” in our brains (ie adopted siblings recognize each other as siblings and are repulsed by the idea of mating despite not sharing blood). But I came to the false conclusion that because it was sufficient it’s the only mechanism. I did some looking into it and you’re right! There’s evidence that we can subconsciously smell our relatives based on MHC complexes—however this isn’t 100% reliable because sometimes our relatives will have differing MHC complexes and nonrelatives will have very similar ones just based on recombination and the gene pool of the population, but that’s why the upbringing factor exists as a supplement to innate biological factor. I appreciated being prompted to learn more!

However I’m not sure George would take this into consideration. Within the universe of the books, I think it’s perfectly feasible that they wouldn’t biologically recognize each other as relatives because there are many cases of non first degree incest (first degree being siblings and parents) being carried out without any disgust. However real life is obviously different I do not blame anyone at all for being opposed to a ship based on real life principles. There are lots of ships I oppose that would be fine in-universe based on my own real life principles.

Anyway I’ve said a lot here and sorry for all the words. I just really enjoy discussion and it’s hard to have any nuanced conversations in the fandom because of the issues we’ve mentioned here and I’m eager to find someone so willing to engage with people who have different opinions

You wrote me an essay, so I wrote you a novel in return. I am sorry in advance but I love rational and calm, respectful discussions and debate and you thus far have been a great sport for my word vomit.

This isn't directed at you personally, but more of a blanket statement in saying, it is just very odd and funny that in this specific fandom, I find myself having to be more knowledgeable about the harmful physical, genetic, and psychological impacts of incest, to explain why I am against it, then those who are for it. It is just very funny how much defending I do about not supporting incest ships, compared to any other fandom where any incest shippers live in the dark because they know it's weird and gross.

That being said, I'm addressing Jonrya first. Because, I have gone on record to say I personally think shipping that is very gross.

Show or Book, that is a dynamic where any romantic implications being attached to it are very uncomfortable. Arya is so deeply ingrained in his head as his baby sister that adding any romance to that makes Jon look incredibly predatory. Arya is still a very young child in the single digits in the books, and Jon is very clearly at the start of the show a man in his 20's.

I do not think claiming anything of the outline is any reasonable argument. It was in an outline which was scrapped for a reason. As a writer, I wouldn't want any of my initial outline ideas to be used as proof of canon. It isn't canon one way or the other and I do not accept it as fair use of evidence for a ship. Jons canon thoughts about her are textbook loving older brother. It feels predatory to make Jons thoughts of a very young, child Arya to be that of romantic. It makes him appear as if his closeness and kindness were all tinted in a different intent towards a child.

Arya in every adaptation, is too young. I will never support any evidence of that ship because it is the exact kind of predatory dynamic which Jonrya fans denounce in other ships involving older man/younger woman characters. I hate this idea of taking Jons point of view and deciding his affection is not brotherly, only when discussing his sisters. It takes away the validity of Jons character being a good big brother, because now his good brotherly nature only towards his sisters is rooted in predatory behaviour whether they realize it or not. This goes for Jonrya and Jonsa both.

Moving on, you did hit the nail on the head about the “proof” about Jon and Dany. Foreshadowing is not a common tool used whenever grrm writes anything. Foreshadowing is a very specific tool he uses to elaborate more on motifs and themes and over arching plots, rather then for every minute character dynamic. Jon and Dany have literally no evidence that a ship will exist. They are not even on the same continent and they are constantly shown to be at extreme moral opposites to one another.

There is no scrap of proof a relationship or even base attraction will ever exist. That is all pure fan theory with no in text evidence. Same with Jon and Sansa. Jon doesn't not think about Sansa because he loves her the most. That is not Jon Snow, we know that. He thinks constantly about the people he loves, and there is no evidence backing up he doesn't think of her often for love that is not also pure fan theory with no empirical evidence. Sansa had rarely ever thought about Jon and when she has more times then not, it was associated in a negative light. Her points of view about her bullying of Arya showcase that, as she insults and wishes to denounce Arya as someone she should care about in ways that connect her to Jon. Wishing Arya was a bastard like him because she doesn't want to call her a trueborn sister. Repeatedly noting Arya looks just like Jon and then exploring the times Sansa constantly thinks Arya is ugly. The only time she has any growth about this is when she is being talked down to when posing as Petyr Baelish's bastard daughter, and she doesn't like being treated that way, but it is not explored that Sansa has literally treated Jon worse then this her whole life. She has not yet even realized she engaged in the exact same kind of classist treatment that Catelyn treated him with.

So much of what Jonerys, Jonsa, and Jonrya shippers do, is look at Jon and discuss it in a way that supposedly symbolizes their ship. They do NOT analyze their female fave and associate how deeply it all ties to their ship. Jons story is always secretly about the ship, but the other female part of the ship is their own story who will only be about Jon when they get together. Jon is not the character they like, it is the girl. Jon is the love interest, the accessory to their story. Not a unique half all of his own.

As for the incest, because these people all function biologically the same as we do, other then when magic is inferred, it is reasonable to assume real life science is included. Grrm does not need to tell me about invisible pheromones or scent markers for me to apply that to the characters. It is indirectly supported by the sheer fact that most characters within the world of asoiaf do not engage in incest and do not support it. Meaning, 99% of the average population of asoiaf are not attracted to their family members what so ever. Meaning it is reasonable to assume the same biological factors are at play here.

But the thing about certain incest dynamics not being carried out with disgust doesn't really apply with Jon ships here. Jons three biggest ships are his little sisters, and his aunt. Two family relations that both physically and psychologically are the most harmful to engage in. The dynamics of incest shown to be the most psychologically harmful is sibling to sibling incest, parent to child incest, and aunt/uncle to nephew/neice incest. Those are such close familial ties with SO many shared biological markers that it is not reasonable at all to think not knowing each other at first would make that biological connection less important. I only met my aunt in my mid 20's and from that moment on she has been as much my aunt in my head as my mother is my mother. Once that knowlede of family is made, it will not be severed. If Jon is not inclinced already towards incest, he will never engage in it with that knowledge.

Dany is his aunt. Dany also, has very inbed genetics to a shocking degree, meaning the biological markers she shares with Jon would be so strong she basically would wreak of red flags. And learning they have such a close biological connection would instantly sever any possible ability in Jon to view her in any romantic or physical attraction sense. He was not raised like her. Jon does not now think incest is normal, and thus he never will.

Also, learning Dany is his aunt would make any physical or romantic dynamics extremely traumatizing for him. The second Jon learns the truth of his birth, Jon will realize that he is related to Dany in the exact way Jon spent his whole life thinking he was related to the woman who was his mother. Jon learning his aunt was actually his mother, would destroy any capability of a relationship with Dany.

That would utterly change every single way he views any character in a motherly or aunt manner. It would destroy that potential in an instant because now Dany is to Jon, what Jon previously thought his mother was to him. It would be traumatizing should a relationship already exist and it would sever any chance of a relationship forming if it hadn't existed already.

The reason the Targaryeans did the most incest and are almost extinct, is because their engaging in incest was not sustainable and it was harmful.

Shown by characters like Egg, who literally grew up his whole life trying to escape the incestual nature of his family. One of his brothers made threats about cutting off his manhood in terms of making a wife for himself. That is not a family who engages in incest beceause they think it is normal. This is a family raised to view their incest in terms of furthering a bloodline because they see themselves as superior to those they rule over. They do not think it is fine, they do it because they raise each other to think it is necessary to further their superior bloodline. And they paid the price. Targaryean women the more inbred they were struggled to give birth, struggled to carry pregnancies to term and often died on the birthing bed with alarming freqency for how short their dynasty lasted.

It is not sustainable and it is harmful. The main plot beat of the story was literally how so many people viewed the incestual relationship of a brother and sister to be an abomination, that wars were started to dethrone them and the population and faith turned against them for it. This is not a world where people think incest is fine, unless it is a learned behaviour their whole life.

People can ship it, it's fine. But despite how much he writes it, grrm time and time again has shown that those in asoiaf who engage in incest, pay a deep, harmful price for it. He writes it a lot, but writing a lot of it does not mean he thinks it is behavior which should be supported for his charcters. Otherwise those who engage in such close incest, would not constantly be punished for doing so.

I have to apply real world logic to being anti incest, because my excuse of “I think it's gross” has been deemed as hateful and unfair. So you can imagine it is frustrating to see my favourite character is primiarly shipped with either women with VERY close biological or familial ties to him, or his rapist.

So, yeah I love talking about Jon but so much of it is me defending why I have never been convinced of any pro incest arguments. It is a goofy situation to be in.

Those who followed me for my pedro pascal content are dying on the inside, I decided I loved Jon Snow and suddenly my blog keeps becoming a haven of debates around the morality of incest.

It is silly silly silly.

#anti tag speedrun time lets go #game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #jon snow #anti jonerys #anti jonsa #anti jonrya #anti jongritte #anti jonerys stans #anti jonsa stans #anti sansa stans #anti daenerys targaryen #anti dany stans #anti targ stans #anti targaryen #anti targ restoration #i think thats it ill get yelled at if i missed any anways #long post

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