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huggybearsunshine · 1 year

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The Things We Left Behind Part 24

[Part 24] Takes place during the first half of 8x22 Clip Show.

Cas watched the needle weave in and out of his skin with a stoic expression that would have fascinated Dean if he weren’t trying so hard not to look him in the eye.

“You stopped me apologizing earlier, but… your energy still feels…” Cas trailed off, touching Dean’s hand when he didn’t look up.

The hunter sighed harshly, cutting the string and setting the pliers down on the counter of the sink.

“Cas, I don’t have it in me to do this tonight,” his voice sounded worn so thin it was barely there, “My best friend is off god knows where, I had to revive my little brother today with an ice bath just to keep him going, and I’m covered in the blood of the man I love, who is supposed to be immortal by the way-”

“I am, I’m just… Crowley used an Angel blade-“

Dean’s hand rose to stop him and it worked as Cas went still, breath hanging between them when their eyes met.

“I’m so tired, and right now, I just want to take you to bed,” the hunter furthered.

Cas looked as if he wanted to question him, but instead, he simply nodded agreeably, “Okay.”

“Thank you,” Dean looked like at least a bit of the weight was lifted as he leaned, hands on Cas’ thighs and forehead pressing into his chest.

Cas went to rub his back but the other man darted up at the touch.

“Come on,” Dean helped him to his feet, and the pair walked toward the war room where the others waited.

“You’re looking better,” Benny’s smooth voice called out as the two entered.

“Benny,” Dean moved forward once he was sure the Angel’s balance would hold in his absence, “To the rescue as usual.”

“Well, when an Angel commands it,” he laughed back, shaking the hand he had been extended before turning to the celestial in question, “How ya doin’, Cas?”

“Better now,” he remarked on a sigh, “Sam, are you-?”

“I’m okay,” the other hunter joined them and clapped the Angel’s shoulder, though the action was much weaker than usual.

Cas wasn’t sure if that was more for Sam’s benefit or his own, but he chose not to comment.

“We’re going to bed,” Dean spoke up before anyone else could, “Sam, you sure you’re good?”

“I’m fine,” he reiterated with only a slight irritation to his tone.

“Okay,” the older of the brothers continued, “Benny, you need a room?”

“Nah, I’m good, brother,” he shook his head and Dean nodded absentmindedly.

He had put on the mask well enough, but it was noticeably slipping as the minutes dragged on.

“Okay, thanks again,” he was still nodding as he said it, eyes not really meeting anyone’s.

“Hey Tex,” Benny caught his attention, “You okay?”

“Yeah, you know me,” he forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “Just beat.”

He slapped the vampire on the shoulder with a quick tap.

“Thanks again,” Dean offered, “Gonna have to start a tab on all the favors I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me nothin’,” Benny waved him off but his eyes told Castiel that his worries hadn’t been alleviated.

“Cas,” his stare was acknowledged with a curt nod and a raised brow.

“Benjamin,” Cas answered in turn, and the vampire was gone.

“Come on,” he heard next to him quietly but when he turned, Dean was already on his way to the room.

With a sympathetic smile from Sam, Cas was off as well, aware of every bit of the tension between himself and the man ahead of him. But Dean needed sleep, and that was something Cas could give him for tonight.

The rest could wait.

But when Dean awoke that morning, he swung his legs over the side, pulled his jeans on, and left the room without so much as a glance toward Cas.

He sat up, himself, as the door clicked shut and stared for an inordinate amount of time, feeling a sudden cold, emptiness in the hunter’s wake.

He sat there amongst the hunter’s things, for how long, he wasn’t really certain, but he couldn’t make himself leave the comfort of the room. Possibly due to worry of not being allowed to return.

He wondered what particular decision had been his undoing.

But he also had to wonder if Dean would be feeling this bad, were the roles reversed.

When he finally stood, he winced at the pain in his abdomen. Not because it was so intense but because it was unusual for him to feel at all.

Cas moved awkwardly as he shuffled down the hallway and rounded into the library, favoring one side of his body more than the other.

“Cas,” Sam started to stand but swayed back into the chair again, uneasy on his own feet, as the Angel gave him a knowing look.

“Sam, have you seen Dean?” he asked, already looking like he knew the answer.

“Think I heard him leave about an hour ago, why?” Sam’s brows stitched in confusion, “He didn’t tell you?”

“No, I think he’s upset with me,” Cas looked away.

“You did say you guys would stop getting yourselves hurt being reckless over each other,” Sam offered a sympathetic look his way as he said it, “And to stop lying…”

“Yes, we did,” he acknowledged honestly.

“He probably just needs some time,” the hunter added sagely.

“Of course,” Cas nodded before grunting and leaning against the table for support.

“You okay?” Sam’s brow arched in concern.

“My wound isn’t healing as quickly as I’d hoped, but your brother insisted on stitching me up in the meantime,” he sunk into the nearest chair, “And I am getting better… slowly…” his eyes pulled upward and a crease formed between his brow, “You, on the other hand, are getting worse…”

“Well, two trials down, one to go,” Sam was now the one avoiding eye contact.

“And the final test, do you know what it is?” Cas held his stare regardless.

“I have to cure a demon,” Sam’s attention returned, wanting to see the reaction on Cas’ face.

“Of what?” the seraph just looked confused.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” he sighed, “Ever heard of anything like that?”

“Nothing comes to mind, but I’ve come to understand recently that my memories can’t be trusted…” Cas’ shoulders fell.

Sam’s hand reached out to touch his shoulder, surprising him out of his thoughts, “Wanna talk about it?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say…” he responded, voice rasping a bit as he spoke, and Sam just nodded in understanding.

“Hey, I’m here if you do, and as far as Dean is concerned, he’s gonna get over it, just…” the hunter hardened a bit, “Be patient… You always have been with him and it’s gotten you this far.”

Cas nodded uncertainly so he continued.

“You’ve always been good at knowing what Dean needs,” he further assured the Angel, “Trust your instincts…”

This seemed to spark an idea in Cas as his eyes lit up.

“Just don’t go running off again, okay?” Sam added though, by the looks of it, he now had only a part of the celestial’s attention, if that, “It really affects him…”

“Of course,” Cas nodded slowly before disappearing in a gust of wind.

“Like that,” Sam laughed and threw his hands up in defeat.

He reappeared next to a convenient store and rounded in through the door as the bell above announced his presence.

Wandering around the store and grabbing anything he thought Dean would like, Cas noticed the boy who worked there growing more annoyed with him by the second.

“I do have money,” he offered as a way of assuaging his ire, but as he approached him, Cas’ own seemed to spike, “Where is the pie?”

“Think we’re out,” the attendant shrugged.

“You don’t understand,” Cas pulled him in by the collar, “I need pie.”

“Put the virgin down, Castiel,” the familiar voice called from over his shoulder.

“Metatron,” Cas lowered the boy before turning to him.

“Let’s talk,” the scribe nodded toward the door.

“You can come out now,” Sam called out with a roll of his eyes and Dean slowly stepped into view.

“You, uh, knew I was here, huh?” he shuffled self-consciously.

“Yeah, I knew you were there,” Sam replied with a smirk, “Why are you hiding from Cas?”

“I’m not hiding from Cas,” he looked away, “I just… I don’t know, I just need a minute to think without him doing his sad puppy-dog eyes…”

Sam laughed, but it turned into a cough which had Dean rushing to his side.

“You okay?” his big brother instincts kicked in, but Sam nodded reassuringly.

“Maybe you should take a break?” Dean offered, “‘Least ‘til you feel better…”

“This is what’s going to make me feel better,” he motioned toward the papers around him, “By the way, do we have a room 7b?”

“What do you want, Metatron?” Cas asked as they walked the sidewalk.

“It’s Marv in public,” he amended before answering the other Angel’s question, “And you intrigue me, Castiel.”

“How so?” his brows furrowed.

“You’re the spanner in the works!” the scribe announced excitedly, “The break in the great machine!”

“I wasn’t the first…” he replied with a thoughtful look.

“Another story I’d like to hear,” he acknowledged.

“It has an unfortunate ending,” the seraph’s eyes fell.

“Most do,” Metatron nodded, given him a pensive moment before asking what he really wanted to know, “But you full-on rebelled right? No contact with upstairs at all…”

“Not consensual contact, no,” Cas grumbled, then upon seeing the scribe’s surprised expression, explained, “Naomi…”

“Ah, say no more…” Metatron grimaced, “I’m familiar with Naomi’s tactics.”

“Really, you?” Cas looked up and Metatron raised his hand to dissuade him.

“No, she didn’t dare mess with my memory- scribe and all,” he mended as Cas nodded in understanding, “Listen, I’ve had no one, and I mean no one, I could talk to about heaven or any of the rest of this stuff with in millennia… I thought we could- I don’t know- be… friends.”

“Friends,” Cas deadpanned.

“Yeah, you know, grab a bite, shoot the shit, talk about enemies or… relationship problems?”

“Dean and I have no problems-“

“I knew it,” Metatron interrupted as they came to a stop at a bench and he motioned to take a seat, “You don’t just love the hunter, you’re… in love… romantically…”

Cas sat with an exasperated sigh, “Dean and I share a profound bond…”

“How did this happen?” Metatron pressed again, determined to get Cas to open up and tell the full story.

The brothers entered the room, clearing cobwebs away as they did.

“What happened?” Sam asked while they each explored separate sides of the room, “You and Cas were great and now…”

“I’m tired of him lying- or withholding, whatever you want to call it- I’m just tired of it,” Dean wouldn’t look at him, busying himself with some of the room’s artifacts, “And the disappearing every time there’s a problem…”

“Hey, I understand why you’re mad, but… go easy on Cas, will ya?”

“If anyone else- I mean, anyone…”

“But he’s not just anyone,” Sam cut him off with a knowing look, “He’s Cas…”

“That’s the point… He’s supposed to be the one who doesn’t do this shit to me, and yet here we are again and again!” he blew up, knocking some book from a shelf.

A click froze him though, and he looked the shelf up and down.

Slowly, he reached out and found the book which seemed to be attached to the shelf itself. With a tilt, it moved and the entire structure swung open like a door.

“No way…” a boyish excitement escaped him.

“Is that a… dungeon?” Sam peaked around him.

“It’s a dungeon!” Dean exclaimed.

“I rescued him from hell,” Cas finally sat down.

“He’s the Michael sword?” Metatron’s jaw dropped.

“No,” Cas’s eyes cut to him, “He’s Dean Winchester. He was never Michael’s to claim.”

“But he’s yours to?” the scribe posed.

Cas’ face hardened, “We claimed each other.”

“Wow, you really are in love, aren’t you?” Metatron delighted, “And with the Michael Sword, himself,” he tisked with an impressed look to his eyes, “I gotta say, that’s bold even for me…” he thought on this for a moment before his questioning continued, much to Cas’ chagrin, “So, you were sent to retrieve him and- what? Couldn’t let go?”

“Why do you care?” Cas tried to shut him down, but Metatron was persistent.

“That’s the exact question that I want to know!” he answered excitedly, “Why do you care?”

“How am I supposed to answer that?” Cas’ brows knit defensively, “I love him because I have never seen any other choice but to!”

That answer seemed to only spur the scribe on even more.

“I thought as much,” he smirked, “You are far more interesting than I gave you credit for, Castiel.”

“So, it’s the lying… the evasiveness that’s getting to you,” Sam persisted, and Dean dropped something back into the box he was looking through on the table with exaggerated frustration.

“Yes, Sam,” he bristled, “Wouldn’t it get to you?”

But after a moment and a steadying breath, his voice calmed.

“He keeps doing this… finding out he was working with Crowley behind our backs and lying to my face,” he stressed the last three words, “That was bad enough… but thinking this could be a pattern with him… Just lying to me or keeping things from me when I don’t agree, it’s… not what I signed up for.”

“And the disappearing…” Sam added gently.

“He does it every time…” he rubbed his face, “I can’t agree with him on everything, I’m never going to be that guy, but… I just wish he would stay and face it when things get bad.”

“Yeah…” Sam didn’t know what to say to him other than, “I think you need to talk to him.”

“How?” Dean laughed bitterly, “He’s not here…”

He looked away, unable to meet his brother’s gaze, when he noticed something in the corner, “Well, that could be interesting…”

“I still don’t understand why any of this is of interest to you,” Cas rolled his eyes to heaven, though he knew he would find no help there.

“Do you know how few firsts there are for someone who’s been on Earth as long as I have? I’m not Naomi, Castiel… You can trust me,” he folded his hands in front of him and a pleased smile spread across his face, “Plus I need someone to talk to about what’s been going on back home!”

“By ‘home’ you mean… heaven?” Cas’ eyes narrowed on the other man.

“I’m trying to play catch-up… digging around, crawling through a few divine nooks and crannies and from what I can see,” he shifted in his seat, “Without the archangels, it’s a mess up there. Open warfare.”

“Sounds like you know more than I do.. I thought Naomi was running things now,” Cas looked off to the side, her name still triggering memories of torture and manipulation.

“Is that what she told you?” Metatron raised a questioning brow to him, “Naomi’s just one of many factions at play right now, and it’s only a matter of time before they start ripping each other apart. It’s all broken.”

“And I’m the one who broke it,” Cas looked away again but this time in shame, “There was a time when I thought I could lead our people, but I was mistaken… I spilt so much blood,” his voice hardened in self-hatred, “I tried to atone for my sins, do penance, and I let down the people who care about me to protect our secrets… I’ve just done nothing but fail.”

“Look, I know… but now the angels,” he quieted his voice, “Heaven, needs someone to come to the rescue. They need us, Castiel.”

“Us?” Cas’ stoicism slipped for a moment.

“Just picture it,” Metatron’s voice grew in excitement, “We ride to the rescue and save the day! It’d make a great story…” he took a beat, “Would make Dean proud.”

Cas looked skeptical, so he continued a little more frustratedly.

“We need to lock down heaven- all the factions, you, me- and work this stuff out,” the scribe concluded.

“Like a family meeting?” Cas asked, still just as unconvinced.

“I’m going to let you think on it, but I know I can convince you I’m right,” he winked before vanishing without further explanation.

“Wait, Metatro- Marv!” Cas looked up and then away in frustration.

No wonder Dean found it so frustrating when Cas would disappear in much the same way.

In a blink, Cas found himself outside of the bunker, walking in on a film playing through a projector in the library and stopping with a tilted expression to take in what he was seeing.

“Well, that was weird,” Dean’s voice drew his attention as it always did, and he moved further into the room, “With three exclamation marks.”

“What is this?” Cas now joined them fully in the room, distractedly placing the grocery bag on the table.

“Oh, there he is,” Dean’s face fell instantly and his posture tightened.

“Film we found in this hidden room,” Sam replied off-handed my, eyes still fixated on the screen, “That wasn’t a normal exorcism. They changed the words.”

“I believe ‘lustra’ is Latin for wash, or cleanse…” Cas offered, brows knit closely in thought.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause that was the most freaky part, the vocabulary,” Dean shot back, “What about the bloody high five or-or the chest burster?”

He stood, suddenly needing to be at the same eye level as the Angel across from him.

“Anything else on the film, like director’s commentary? Sequal maybe?” he added, Cas’ presence bringing his anger back to the surface.

“Yeah, listen to this,” Sam took over, lifting his laptop as he brought it nearer to Dean, “The older priest, Max Thompson, bit the dust in ‘58, but the younger one is still alive and in St. Louis.”

“Think this kind of weird is worth the drive?” Dean looked from him to the screen and back.

“Yeah, I think it’s worth the drive,” Sam replied incredulously.

“Alright, let’s roll,” they all began toward the entranceway, but a pointed finger rounded on Cas, “Not you.”

“Sam is more damaged than I am,” it was almost pleading as it fell from the Angel’s mouth.

“Yeah, well, even banged up, Sammy comes through,” Dean’s anger wavered minutely but returned as he took a deep breath.

“Dean, I just want to help,” Cas’ own flared in response.

“We don’t need your help,” he looked sorry as soon as he said it, but doubled down anyway, “Just stay here, and… get better. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Dean,” Cas stalked over, shoving him into the wall.

He kissed him as if he meant for it to hurt, harsh and bruising, before pulling back with his eyes locked dangerously onto the hunter’s own.

“I love you, and I apologize for getting ambushed by Crowley and Naomi but I think I have suffered quite well enough for that mistake already,” as if to further his point, a spot of blood began to pool on his shirt where his stitches were pulled loose in the sudden movement, “But Dean, when you do get back- safely and in one piece,” he stressed that last part, “We are going to talk about it and fix it.”

He pressed in, both dangerous and alluring.

“I will not be spoken to in that way, do you understand?” he practically growled and Dean felt his knees weaken beneath him in response.

“Yeah,” he managed to force a breathy answer out, and Cas’ hand loosened its hold on his collar to cup his cheek instead.

“Please pray to me if you need me,” the Angel’s voice softened.

“Okay,” Dean nodded, “I’m sorry.”

Cas let his eyes linger a moment before pulling away and nodding to a gaping Sam before he walked off down the hallway.

“You okay?” a grin crawled up Sam’s cheek when his eyes met with Dean’s.

“No… shut up…” Dean shrugged his jacket back into place, “Let’s go.”

———————

@destiel-wings @destieliscanon5nov @destieldisaster, your comments made my day!

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dean-winchesters-adhd · 2 years

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Just posted Chapter 3 of my Regarding Dean fic!

In this chapter, Dean has a memory about a particular angel and decides to confront him about it.

#spn fic #spn #regarding dean #12x11 #spn 12x11 #12x11 au #regarding dean fic #regarding dean au #12x11 coda fic #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #sam winchester #supernatural #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #spn fandom

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queermania · 9 months

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i think an episode of supernatural (2005) where dean and cas do the whole fake dating thing would be incredibly disappointing. that’s just not a concept that would translate well to the actual show. it would either be wildly out of character or just make it seem like they’re not pathetically in requited-but-they’re-both-too-stupid-to-realize-it-and-think-it’s-unrequited love with each other because it wouldn’t actually be resolved with them getting together. if you want a destiel fake dating episode the only reasonable option is castiel fake dating someone else right in front of dean’s salad. he would be pissed the whole time but he wouldn’t be able to say why and the show would never explain it and the GA and the bronlies would insist it was because of [insert bullshit reason here] but everyone with eyes and a little bit of love in their heart would Know it’s because he’s jealous. everyone else (except sam who continues to be oblivious) would smirk knowingly and the monster of the week would make an incredibly homophobic but hilarious comment. the coda fic for the episode would be top tier.

#deancas #mp

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betterpollsnatural · 2 months

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For the purposes of this poll, Canon refers to fics that are set within or based upon the canon universes of Supernatural. They can be canon divergent, canon alternative universes (squirrelverse, endverse, fancychesters), codas, etc. AU refers to fics that are set outside the canon universes of Supernatural. These are alternative realities, such as stories where the characters have a cutemeet in a coffee shop or meet in high school together. Often there's no monsters or hunting.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #spn polls #polls #fanfiction #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #misha collins

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highfunctioningflailgirl · 3 months

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Damage Control - 1x15 The Benders

The hike back to town is long, and dawn is already breaking when they finally reach the Impala parked near the police station.

Sam notices that Dean doesn’t even debate riding shotgun this time. While they’ve both been knocked around pretty badly in the last 48 hours, Sam’s had some time to recover, and Dean’s clearly taken the brunt of the damage. His gait had been a little unsteady walking back, and dried blood is covering the entire right side of his face. He’s not using his left arm, now cradled protectively in his lap, and there’s a ragged hole in his shirt that flags an injury underneath.

“What is that?” Sam asks, reaching over to check. “Stab wound?”

Dean bats the intruding hand away. “Will you focus on driving?! It’s just a burn. Hot poker.”

Sam flinches in sympathy. “Ouch. Deep? Think you need a hospital?”

“No. No hospital. I’m still a wanted man, remember?” He peels the flap of his shirt back and squints underneath, grimacing. “No. Nurse Winchester will have to do.”

Sam frowns, not exactly thrilled at the prospect of treating a burn wound with nothing but tweezers and whiskey at his disposal. “What about your shoulder? It’s not dislocated is it?”

“No.” Dean tentatively rolls the injured limb and stops with a grunt. “Just bruised, I guess. Fucker slammed me into a door post.”

“Concussion?” Walking beside Dean, Sam had seen him gingerly touch the back of his head.

“Frying pan. No worries. I’ve got a thick skull. You?”

“Got over it.”

This is how they do it: brave banter after trauma, to cover up the hurt. It’s a tried-and-true method. A manly shorthand that keeps them functioning until they’re somewhere they don’t have to - in this case, another faceless motel Sam checks them into while Dean - looking too garish - waits in the car.

Once inside their room, painted in depressing shades of brown but at least clean and spacy, Dean disappears into the bathroom. Water splashes, Sam hears some muffled cursing, and when Dean reemerges, his face is clean and he’s holding a wad of toilet paper to the cut on his forehead. He’s shed his worker shirt, but he’s still wearing his t-shirt.

“Couldn’t get it off. Damn thing’s stuck to the wound.”

“I’ll help you. Sit down.” Sam points to one of the beds where he’s already laid out what they’ll need: tweezers, antiseptic, bandages. On the nightstand, next to a bowl with warm water, a whiskey bottle is waiting with its cap unscrewed.

“Medicate,” Sam says, tossing his seated brother a pill bottle.

Face brooding, Dean swallows a couple of Vicodin with the aid of Jack Daniels. Normally, Sam would lecture his brother on mixing alcohol with opiates, but they both know that, although the wound isn’t that big, this is going to hurt like hell and, without the benefit of a local anesthetic, booze and pills is all they have. While Dean works on his blood alcohol level, Sam searches the small kitchen counter and gets lucky: He finds a pair of scissors that he uses to cut Dean’s t-shirt off him, leaving only a small patch behind where the fabric has adhered to the wound. He soaks it with warm water, and Dean curses.

“Sonovabitch!”

“Sorry.”

Dean grunts and takes another swig from the bottle. They both know there’s much more swearing ahead.

The whiskey is a good quarter empty by the time Sam has managed to peel the cotton patch off Dean’s wound. The burn looks ugly - a mix of oozing blisters and charred, peeling flesh. It’s a partial thickness burn at least and will leave a nasty scar. There are still a few shreds of fabric embedded in the whole mess and, slightly nauseous, Sam reaches for the tweezers.

“Hold on,” he says warningly. “This’ll hurt like hell.”

He’s not wrong. In the next few minutes, Dean turns into a sweating, cussing mess, doing his best to hold still while Sam meticulously debrides his wound. At some point, they use Dean’s belt for him to bite on. And if Sam’s hands shake a little by the time they’re done, Dean is too focused on control-breathing and blinking through tears to notice.

“Okay. Okay, okay.” Sam shucks the tweezers aside and straightens, exhaling deeply. He pats Dean’s leg. “That’s it. You’re good.”

“Sonofa–...” Panting, Dean looks down at his shoulder, lips forming a disgusted rectangle, teeth bared. “That mother–” Shakily, he wipes at his brow with his good arm, smearing blood over his face. The cut on his brow is oozing again, and all the flop sweat isn’t helping.

“Gimme that.” Sam takes the whiskey from his brother and takes a swig of his own. Then he points from the bottle to Dean’s wound. “You ready?”

Dean eyes him warily, then closes his eyes for a moment and takes a fortifying breath, nodding. “Go ahead.”

Without delay, Sam tips the bottle over and douses Dean’s wound.

“Hunghhh…! The veins on Dean’s neck stand out as he bites back the pain. Sam winces in sympathy.

But at least the worst is over now. Sam bandages the wound with non-adherent gauze he finds buried deep in their medical field kit (he’s going to restock and expands its contents, Sam promises himself), then moves on to close the cut on Dean’s forehead with butterfly stitches. The Vicodin and the whiskey have mellowed Dean enough to just sit through it all in exhausted silence, propped up against the headboard, grimacing sluggishly now and then. He doesn’t even protest when Sam wrangles his arm into a sling. It’ll do both the burn and his bum shoulder good, although Sam has little hope that Dean will put up with it for more than a day.

“You good?” Sam asks, stepping back to watch his handiwork.

“Freakin’ fantastic.” Dean toasts to him with the near-empty bottle of Jack.

“Get some sleep, then.”

Sam swipes the bandage wrappers and used gauze up with his hands and goes to discard them in the trash. He’s tired and sore. It’s been a shocking two days that have taught them that, in some cases, humans were worse than monsters. But they’ve come out the other side alive and largely intact. Dean would heal up, albeit with an unwanted souvenir etched into his skin. He’d come looking for Sam and not given up until he’d found him. Had risked his skin - literally - to get him out. It’s a comforting feeling. One that trumps all the ugliness of this latest hunt. That it ended with Sam having to patch up his big brother wasn’t exactly fun, but it’s leaving Sam feeling somehow content.

They’ve got each other’s backs. And for the first time since Dean picked him up at Stanford Sam thinks that maybe he’s not just staying with Dean to find their father. Or to revenge Jess. There’s something else there. A feeling of companionship. Of family. Maybe, if he’s honest, he’s missed his brother more than he’d liked to admit.

“Huh.”

Marveling, Sam opens the freezer and grabs a bottle of beer that he’s definitely earned. Behind him, he hears Dean softly beginning to snore.

Damage Control Masterlist

Read the entire Damage Control series on AO3 here:

#the damage control series #1x15 #the benders #spn #supernatural #fanfic #Fan Fiction #coda #episode tag #dean winchester #sam winchester #hurt dean winchester #hurt/comfort #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #injury cw

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destieltropecollection · 11 months

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DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 28 | Canon Compliant

from the ashes | @demonmary

Rating: General Word Count: 1,095 Main Tags/Warnings: Hell Rescue , Grace-Soul Bonding , Pre-Episode: s04e01 Lazarus Rising , POV Castiel, Religious Imagery & Symbolism Summary: It was his belief prior to that moment that Creation was an act of God, His and His alone; yet here Castiel was. Not God - but one of his angels - breathing careful life into the lungs of a man.

Love Me As An Inanimate Object | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,195 Main Tags/Warnings: Episode: s07e01 Meet the New Boss, Missing Scene, Canon Compliant, Castiel as God (Supernatural), Angst Summary: Dean attempts to summon Cas in order to nicely ask if he'll please stop killing people. It... could've gone worse than it does.

Hydrogen Stars And The Design Of The Universe | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,788 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Episode: s04e16 On the Head of a Pin (Supernatural), Pre-Slash, Accidental Bonding, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Castiel Watches Over Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant, Missing Scene Summary: “So what’s. Uh. The design of the universe or whatever?” is what Dean comes up with as he’s rubbing his face dry on the pillowcase. It seems like something an angel would know a lot about. “Incomprehensible to humans as a whole.” Fuck’s sake.

Coming Down | @notastupidbird

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1,977 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Season/Series 05, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Power Bottom Dean Winchester, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Established Relationship, Secret Relationship, Light Angst, Sex in/on the Impala (Supernatural), Rain Sex, Anal Sex, Riding, POV Dean Winchester Summary: It’s only the second time they’ve done this and the first without the threat of “last night on Earth” hanging over them, so Dean still concentrates on studying Cas’ face for those sweet little micro-expressions that Dean’s hips are working out of him. He goes slow, grinding back and forth in a slick, rolling motion like they have all the time in the world. They don’t. - + - While Sam sleeps, Dean and Cas sneak off to the backseat of the Impala.

Yes, Dean | @whichstiel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 2,788 Main Tags/Warnings: Stuck in the Middle (With You) Episode Coda, Tattoo kink Summary: Dean stares over at Cas. The angel is perched on one of the double beds examining his blood and black-goo stained clothes. As he watches, Cas presses a careful hand against his side over the healed spear wound. He looks like he's trying to read the dictionary upside down and in the mirror. Dean clears his throat and leans back from where he's standing over Sam's research. “You okay there, man?” he asks. “Yes, Dean.” Cas's reply is terse.

Wait For Me... | @deanabean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,389 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Post-Episode AU: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, in this house we don't believe in s15ep20, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It sorta - Freeform, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Inspired by Hadestown, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Hopeful Ending Summary: "It's an old song! It's an old tale from way back when And we're gonna sing We're gonna sing We're gonna sing it again!" _____ They were here before, he felt it , lived it, had to come form the other side of it... and he's gonna do it again and again and again... This time, they gonna make it through. because this time, they're truly free. this time, he's gonna get Cas back... He heard that melody before, what follows it though this time around?!

que sera sera | @hauntedpearl

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,855 Main Tags/Warnings: Canonverse, Mutual Pining, Angst, Hopeful ending, Cuddling/Snuggling, Season 13/14, Cas POV Summary: Castiel and Dean steal away to snuggle every once in a while and talk about things. Set somewhere after Tombstone and before Byzantium.

no proof, one touch | @watchinghimrakeleaves

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,389 Main Tags/Warnings: canon compliant, dean winchester in heaven, castiel in heaven, love confessions Summary: When Castiel learns that Dean has entered heaven, he's determined to avoid him to save them both the pain of dealing with his confession. Dean is equally as determined to find him, leading him to put up signs for Cas anywhere he thinks the angel might be.

so much smoke in a hall of mirrors | @autisticandroids

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,235 Main Tags/Warnings: non-consensual voyeurism, top!cas, some general ickiness re: consent even though no one's consent is actually violated, season six, angel civil war, lonely cas, dean/lisa Summary: Humans kiss each other. Angels kill each other. Castiel distracts himself from the war he's losing.

Idiots in love | @castielific

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 6,622 Main Tags/Warnings: Human!cas, accidental love confession, dean has a sexual identity crisis, jealous!Dean, gay panic, oblivious!Dean Summary: "So, no God, no wings, no imminent apocalypse, what are your plans now?" Dean tries to make the question sound casual by taking a sip of his beer. "I want to have sex with a man," Cas declares, nibbling at a red vine cherry twist. He barely reacts to Dean spitting his beer all over the table and choking on his sip. (...) Cas tilts his head and adds, "I may need your help with that."

Dean's Top 13 Zepp Traxx | @readingprofoundbonds

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9,729 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's Parenting, Spans years Summary: Dean's love language is told not in words, but in songs. In the notes of his favorite rock band and the rhythm of their melodies. His longest unfinished work is composed of Led Zeppelin songs, chosen for the feelings they evoke. It's Dean's life, reflected into one mix and shared carefully in hopes that he would be heard and understood.

Contrition | @norahastuff

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 10,590 Main Tags/Warnings: Mark of Cain, references to s6 and Godstiel, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Takes place midway through s10, Castiel's Angelic Grace Summary: "The room seemed to fade around him, his gaze fixed on the window as he negotiated the church’s inconveniently arranged furnishings to approach it. Dean was vaguely aware of the sting of a pew as it knocked off his hip, but he ignored it, attention singularly focused on the familiar image printed on the glass." Dean stumbles upon a church bearing an image of Castiel, and both Dean and Cas are forced to reflect on a particularly tumultuous period in their relationship. Dean finds that a lot has changed in the intervening years, and maybe it’s finally time to address the things they’ve kept buried for far too long. Though Dean is still struggling with the Mark of Cain, and Cas with his rapidly deteriorating grace, they allow themselves to have this much-needed moment of respite.

Cleanse the Waters | @li-izumi

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,416 Main Tags/Warnings: Coda, Hurt/Comfort, POV Outsider, Castiel-centric (Supernatural), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Panic Attacks, Aquaphobia, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, (because canon), Canon Temporary Character Death, Dean's man pain, Dramatic use of dramatic irony, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Episode: s07e02 Hello Cruel World, Episode: s07e17 The Born-Again Identity, Episode: s09e03 I'm No Angel, Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Episode: s09e10 Road Trip, Episode: s10e21 Dark Dynasty, Episode: s11e18 Hell's Angel, Episode: s13e04 The Big Empty Summary: Castiel’s multitude of sins haunt him in ways all too human, but water cannot cleanse him when he is drowning in his own guilt. Over the years, he’s tried to ignore his fear--after all, no one needs a broken angel--but he keeps failing and needing to be saved by those he should be saving. If Castiel is ever to be absolved, he must overcome his fear and walk into the water alone.

#destiel trope collection #destiel trope collection 2023 #destiel #fanfic #canon compliant #day 28

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the-coda-project · 2 years

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The Coda Project | 1.04 Fighting the Fear of Fear

Dean’s been anticipating his own death since he was four years old. He's been training himself to be ready for it since he was seven. More or less resigned to its inevitability since some unknown point in between. He's learned to live with it.

When Dean was four years old, a cardinal collided with his bedroom window.

Cracks spiderwebbed outward from the place it struck, and his mom, who'd been sitting in her rocking chair reading The Together Book aloud, had jumped so hard at the sound that she'd torn a page.

The bird had been singing until it hit the glass. Had been swooping back and forth in the afternoon sun and letting out the high, musical trills that Dean liked to imitate whenever he was playing in the garden. But Dean couldn't hear the song anymore. Just the sound of the breeze in the trees and the excited barking of the dog next door.

Within seconds, he'd been on his feet and running downstairs to see if the bird was okay, ignoring his mom calling out to him. By the time she'd caught up--moving in a slow shuffle thanks to the added weight of Dean's baby brother who was due any day now--it was too late. Dean was already in the living room, ducking under the gauzy curtains to press his face to the glass.

"Don't look," Mary called out, but he'd already seen.

Even from inside the house he could tell that the cardinal wasn’t moving.

It’s brilliant red wing was bent sideways beneath its tiny body. Black eyes glassy and unblinking.

"I think he needs a helper," Dean told his mom, and she had pulled him away from the window.

"My sweet Dean," she'd said through a watery smile, cupping his face in her palm. "You are such a good helper, but sometimes there isn't anything we can do except say goodbye."

He'd learned, then, what it was to die.

A few months later, with the heat of fire on the back of his neck, and baby Sam clutched tightly to his chest, and his heart racing at the sight of his dad looking scared for the first time in Dean's short memory, he’d learned that death wasn’t just something that came for wayward birds.

That's when it started. The anticipation. Knowing that someday, it would be him that death would come for. Or Dad. Or Sam.

He'd carried the fear quietly at first, knowing that if he seemed scared, Sammy would get scared. Dad didn't know how to make him stop crying the way Mom did, so it was up to Dean to be the strong one. The brave one.

Being afraid meant failing Sam, so he hid his fear away. Held it the way his mom had held the cardinal; its limp body cradled in a hand towel as she'd carried it down to the corner of the garden to bury among the yellow columbines. He held it gently. Held it as though one wrong move might somehow make it worse.

When he was seven years old, Dean held his first gun the same way.

It was late spring, hotter than it should've been, and Dad had left Sam with Pastor Jim to bring Dean out to an abandoned farm on the outskirts of Blue Earth, Minnesota. They'd parked outside a rusted gate near the mouth of the driveway, and Dean scraped his palms on the rough metal as he climbed over it. Twisted his ankle when he dropped down onto the hard-packed earth on the other side. It hurt, but he didn't cry. He knew not to.

In his hand, he carried a plastic grocery bag that reeked of stale beer, and the empty bottles inside clinked together with each step he took. He'd been careful not to swing it too much as they'd made their way across the overgrown front yard, through tall, scratchy grass. Through patches of dandelions that he wasn't supposed to pick, no matter how much he wanted to.

When they finally reached the house and barn, John had directed him around the back and past a sagging wooden fence that separated the small backyard from the fields beyond. He'd lined up the bottles along the middle rung of the fence to put them within Dean's eyeline, and facing the barn, he'd pushed the rifle into Dean's hands.

The Ruger was heavier than it looked. Long and cold and difficult for Dean to balance until John had directed him on how to center its weight. He'd been scared, holding it. Scared that if he tried to do as Dad told him and missed the bottles, the bullet could hit one of the birds he could see nesting in the eaves of the empty barn. That if he did as he was told, he could end up being the thing that brought death to something else. Someone else.

But Dad had given him an order. Had told him that this was how he'd be able to protect his brother. So he'd swallowed his fear, and lifted the gun until he could line up the sight. Pushed his fear down and told himself that he had to get it right. Did as he was told. Slowly exhaled as he squeezed the trigger. Once. Twice. Five times.

He hit every bottle, each one exploding outward in a burst of brown glass, and when he looked up at his dad it was the first time Dean had ever seen him proud.

"That's my man," he'd said, and clapped Dean firmly on the back as he took the gun and slung it over his own shoulder. "Now you can keep your brother safe when I'm not around to help you."

It had been equal parts gratifying and awful to hear. Knowing that Dad thought he was grown up enough to be trusted felt good. Knowing that sometime soon, he might be the one thing between Sam and the looming threat of death felt like having the floor pulled out from under him.

When he was sixteen, a few months before he gave up on high school for good, Dean had an English teacher who made the class discuss their hopes for the future.

They'd gone around the room one by one, each student listing out their plans and dreams and lofty goals, and when it had come to Dean he'd been honest. He'd said that he didn't think about it. That as far as he saw it, he could die any day. Any minute. Any second, his time could come, and he'd be done, and he didn't want to waste even a moment of what little time he might have with something as pointless as planning.

He didn't mention that he used to have plans. Dreams. Lofty goals.

Didn't mention that when he was just a little bit younger, he'd wanted to be a mechanic, maybe. A firefighter. A rockstar. Someone who fixes things or creates things that make people happy; someone who helps. Talking about it, the few times he had, made him feel like he was being a bad son. A bad brother. Like wanting something for himself was the same as neglecting his responsibilities.

So he'd learned to push all of that down, too. Compressed it into a tight ball in his chest until it collapsed in on itself like a black hole; something that he couldn't really look inside, but could always feed into.

The teacher had pulled him aside after class to discuss his nihilistic attitude, but even then, Dean had thought there was a pretty big difference between being aware of the futility of planning for a future he wouldn't have, and being defeated by it, but he hadn't bothered to argue. He hadn't seen the point.

(He had seen the irony in that, though--and fuck anyone who thought he didn't.)

Now, twenty-six years old and in his prime, he still feels it.

The fear is like a chronic condition his body has acclimated to. He's readjusted his baseline tolerance, so that despite the fact that it's always there under his skin, hovering at the back of his neck like a phantom hand waiting to catch hold of him at any moment, he's able to mentally separate himself from it enough to get by.

When it's a good day, he can ignore it. When it's a bad day, when the threat of death is tangible and immediate--a werewolf slashing at his chest with jagged claws, a ghost pressing icy fingers beyond the surface of his skin to crush his windpipe--the fear becomes fuel. Oxygen to feed the fire in his belly. It sharpens his focus. Gives him the edge he needs to wrestle some kind of control back from the void that's trying to claim him. And so long as he can fight it, tooth and nail, it's okay. Even if he fails. Even if he dies.

Death comes for everyone sometime, and if he's gotta go down, he's gonna be damn sure he goes down swinging.

This…

This is not that.

Right now, the threat of death is tangible and immediate, but it's not something he can control in the slightest. There's nowhere for him to channel his fear. Nothing to fight against but the threat of gravity and forty-thousand feet of open air.

The plane banks hard to the right, forcing his side against the arm rest as the engines roar, and Dean falters in his quiet repetition of Metallica’s Some Kind of Monster for just long enough that his brain supplies him with a torrent of horrific scenarios he has absolutely no hope of preventing.

A flock of birds sucked into the engine. A freak storm. A crack in the fuselage that none of the safety technicians caught during their inspection, catching the wind and peeling the plane like an orange.

Another plane on a collision path, with the air traffic controller succumbing to the relentless stress of their job and breaking down for just long enough that the pilots have no chance at correcting course.

Outside, the clouds are thick and dark, whipping past the window at a pace, and Dean can't help but think of restless spirits. Fuck, who knows what is out there. They deal with so much shit on the surface of the Earth--where they're supposed to be--that he figures there are probably hundreds of things up here that nobody's even begun to figure out how to fight.

Not to mention the demon he knows is somewhere on board.

Because it's not enough to be trapped in a flying metal death tube--the universe might as well throw in something several notches above his pay grade as well. Just for the hell of it.

If Sam tells him to breathe one more time, Dean’s going to kill him before this plane can.

"Breathe," Sam tells him.

"Choke," Dean replies.

Sam has the audacity to look affronted.

Several hours later, after the demon has been exorcized and the plane is back on solid ground, Dean feels a little like he might pass out. His limbs are loose and tingly. His chest is tight. His stomach churning. His fear has shifted back into its usual holding pattern, but he can still feel sharp edges where it's usually dulled.

He needs to do something. Needs to wrestle back some scrap of control to feel like he's in charge of his own body again.

Suddenly, the fact that they're a sixteen hour drive away from the Impala is all he can think about.

"I'm guessing you don't wanna fly back to Indianapolis?" Sam asks as they make their way through the throngs of travelers at Denver airport, and Dean just levels him with an exhausted stare. "Yeah, stupid question. I'll get us a car."

Dean lets him go, wandering over to the nearest wall and sinking down onto his haunches to sit against it. To breathe. While he waits, he finds himself staring at a sparrow flitting around near the ceiling. Watching the way it swoops and dives over the bustling crowd, searching for a way out. It's probably safer where it is, trapped in the terminal and away from the elements. Free from the threat of predators and planes.

Dean watches it and wonders what it must be like, to be so unaware. To live without fear. He doesn't know if it's better or worse than knowing; if a lack of control is easier to bear if you don't understand the consequences.

As soon as Sam returns with a set of keys, Dean stands and makes a grab for them. Sam yanks them out of reach before he can make contact.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"C'mon, hand 'em over."

"You still kinda look like you're gonna puke."

"Already did in the plane bathroom," Dean tells him, ignoring the wrinkled nose he gets in response. "And driving calms me down."

"It's a long ass drive."

"No shit. I'm not planning on pulling the whole sixteen hours in one go. C'mon, just let me take the first leg."

Sam squints, lips pursed tight, then relents with a sigh.

"Fine." He hands Dean the keys. Even just having them in his hand is grounding.

"What'd you get us, anyway?"

"A car," Sam answers, and heads off toward the door without another word.

"A car," Dean mocks, and follows.

Together, they pick their way through rows of sedans until Sam finally announces that they've reached their rental, and Dean blinks a few times as he looks at the thing Sam is pointing him toward. A bland white paint job. A generic round bumper. An utter lack of soul. He stares at it in disgust.

"What the fuck is this?"

"It's an Impala," Sam says.

"It's a crime."

"It's the 2001 model," Sam adds, and Dean doesn't have to look at him to know he's biting back a smirk. "Apparently it has cup holders."

Despite the car being one of the most offensive things he's ever seen, sinking behind the wheel makes the last of Dean's frayed nerves settle. His chest loosens. His hands feel like his own. With a slow exhale, he turns the ignition and gets them on the road. The drive back to Indianapolis stretches out ahead of him, a long, familiar stretch of blacktop and open plains, and while he can't anticipate every part of the journey, he's prepared for it.

His fear is a silent passenger in the back seat. He carries it carefully across state lines.

read again on ao3 | subscribe to series | about the series

#Supernatural Fic #cass writes fic #imogenbynight #the coda project #S01E04 Phantom Traveler #Episode Coda #Character Study #2.3k words #Gen #rated PG #warning: mention of animal death #john winchester's a+ parenting #dean pov

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callunavulgari · 4 months

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Top 25 Fics of 2023

1. whatever you want by Wildehack (tyleet) | Wolf 359 | Kepler/Jacobi | 5k

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6. One Size Fits All by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 65k

Steve just wanted to do something nice for a friend, he doesn't mean to get Eddie's ring stuck on his finger, and it's definitely not his fault that everyone he knows is jumping to conclusions. Heather Says: This is not the last time that you will see this author or this ship on this list. I really would have thought that Steddie would have crept out of my brain right now, but NOPE. And part of that is because every couple weeks entanglednow drops an absolute BANGER of a fic that obliterates my brain for anything else.

7. you are spring by @wildehacked | Supernatural | Castiel/Dean | 20k

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12. Fight Night by @rlnerdgirl | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 12k

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14. Silver-Tongue by starkraving | Baldur's Gate 3 | Astarion/Karlach | 9k

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Harry Potter is dead. In the aftermath of the war, in order to strengthen the might of the magical world, Voldemort enacts a repopulation effort. Heather Says: I did the thing. I read the incredibly dark fic that I've been avoiding since 2018. I typically steer-clear of anything that is overly bleak and I do not tiptoe into non-con waters often. But one of our groomsmen who isn't even involved with fandom read this so that his girlfriend would watch Star Wars with him and then spent a good portion of a Halloween party talking it up. So I gave it a shot. Over all, it is too bleak for me. That said, I finished it in a weekend. I loved it. I hated it. I wish I'd broken it up over a longer period of time because the emotional bleed off of it was intense.

18. Ready for Love by @idiopathicsmile | Singin in the Rain | Cosmo/Kathy/Don | 12k

Don and Kathy would move in together. They would have a dog or two and then inevitably, a small parade of adorable little brats who would call him Uncle Cosmo, and they would spend less and less time with him, not on purpose but busy with the rest of their lives, and ultimately Cosmo would learn to make his peace with it because he’d have no other choice and he would have to try to move on and not live too much in his memories. He could picture it so clearly, he figured if the songwriting gig with Monumental didn’t pan out, he could always return to the backwater circuit with a new act: The Amazing Cosmo of the Cosmos—ladies and gentlemen, he sees the future, he reads the stars, he silently pines for his best married pal and all the while tap dancing! Don and Kathy inviting him along on their honeymoon, though—that part was a surprise. Heather Says: I LOVE this movie. It is one of my biggest comfort movies. I watch it to feel happy. I watch it when I'm sad. And I have always shipped these three but NEVER read fic for it. And honestly? I'm glad I waited for a good fic to find me because this one was perfect.

19. A Series of Forgettable Events by @trensu | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 27k

Steve wanted to be a dad more than anything. Unfortunately, he was a single dude in his thirties which meant no adoption agency in the world was willing to give him a chance. Or at least no human adoption agency. Heather Says: Honestly just a delightful little jaunt in a world where Steve wants to be a dad, Eddie is a very overprotective siren, and the kids are, well. Little horrors. I love it. There's a sequel now which I am very patiently waiting to read it until I am less busy in RL.

20. the dry sand of daylight by @andthepeople | Inception | Arthur/Eames | 15k

Arthur is married to Eames for the better part of a decade. Then he wakes up. Heather Says: This fic left me ACHING for the Inception fandom circa 2010-2012. When livejournal was still a thing and the fandom community was alive and thriving. It is so achingly tender and perfect. I had forgotten how much I loved them.

21. brutalist masterpieces by @greatunironic | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 12k

Ten years on, in a town in Nova Scotia, on the edge of the Atlantic, Eddie finds Steve again, and also maybe himself. Heather Says: Maybe that's my thing this year. Achingly sweet tender pieces that leave you reeling in the aftermath. This fic is SO incredibly beautiful.

22. What Made Milwaukee Famous by synthetica | Danny Phantom | Vlad/Danny | 30k

Ten years after establishing a tenuous truce, Danny crash-lands at Vlad's Milwaukee lakehouse with a particularly nasty wound, three days recovery time, and absolutely nothing to do but talk to his long-lost archnemesis. Heather Says: I'm told that this is something of a rarepair. However, from the limited information that I have from the series I can say with full certainty that two ghostly beings locked for years as enemies growing up and meeting in the middle? Fully my thing.

23. then now and always by @raisesomehale | Teen Wolf | Derek/Stiles | 13k

Stiles is stuck. Stiles is stuck in the fucking snow in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere at night with a broken down car three days before Christmas, and the nearest tow truck company—over fifty miles away—doesn’t open until morning. Heather Says: And here we have the promised third Teen Wolf fic, the most cathartic of the bunch. I am so so sweet on future fic particularly in this fandom with missed chances. And this one is just so syrupy sweet. It's winter! There's horses! Derek's an alpha! They smooch. Anyway, this is how I cope with a series finale that didn't happen and a movie that doesn't exist.

24. Terminus by @rcmclachlan | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 4k

"Keep me here," he begs against Mobius's lips. "You must keep me here." Heather Says: What do you mean you didn't spend all three replays of the Loki series finale weeping into a pillow? What do you mean you didn't spend the next few days trying to find the perfect coda? What do you mean that you didn't find this fic and positively expire from the sheer fucking tenderness in Mobius' voice? What do you mean? What. do you. mean? Anyway, I know I'm not supposed to have number one favorites. This list exists because I cannot condense it further than 25. But guys, this was my favorite fic this year.

25. Eye Of The Beholder by @entanglednow | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 22k

Eddie works himself up to ask Steve if he can borrow his instant camera, because the type of pictures he wants to take are…not the kind he can get developed in town. Heather Says: And to round it out, another Steddie. This one with sexy photos. The tension is killer.

#heather says what #top 25 #year in review #fic recs #recommendations #2023 #new year's memes #teen wolf #stranger things #loki #inception #supernatural #danny phantom #dc #harry potter

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fandom-hoarder · 5 months

Text

A Bibro's

Sastiel Rec List

-for the canon-adjacent connoisseur-

1. Pagan by posingasme

Gen | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 17, 782 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Blasphemy, Idol Worship, Fallen Castiel, Priest Sam, Hunterverse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Castiel has fallen, too soon. Madness and desperation plague him, but, as always, his heart is still in the right place...with Sam Winchester.

🔆

2. Run Right; or Lie by orphan_account

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 5,197 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: AU, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Pre-Slash

Summary: AU in which Dean died during Faith, the first seal was broken in season one, and Sam met Castiel when his faith was as strong as ever.

🔆

3. Kneel Before the Lord Our Maker by EnInkahootz

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,000 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Supernatural Kink Bingo 2021, Porn, Smut, Blasphemy, Angels, Angel Kink, Religion, Religion Kink, Angel Wings, Wings, Flying, Clouds, Cock Worship, Dom/sub, Sub Sam Winchester, Dom Castiel, Dom Castiel/Sub Sam Winchester, Dreams, Blow Jobs, Post-Episode: s04e07 It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester

Summary: After first meeting Castiel and being disappointed in It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester (Season 4, Episode 7), Sam has a dream about Castiel being the classic sort of angel he had expected to meet. Sam dreams of using his mouth to worship Castiel's holy cock, which Sam sees as an extension of god.

🔆

4. What This Is About by MissMisdemeanor

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,147 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Castiel/Bottom Sam Winchester, Riding, Sweat, Hook-Up, Secret Relationship, Canon Compliant, canon adjacent?, Making Out, Early season 5 Supernatural

Summary: “This is something you’ve wanted before today,” Cas states, and it’s true. He’s not sure if Cas even had to read his soul to get at that.

Sam’s breath stops. He freezes momentarily. “Yeah,” he admits. “Shit, Cas, yeah. I’d have done this the day we met.”

🔆

5. A First Grasp by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,034 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 5 angst, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, or at least the sastiel alternate ending to that episode.

Summary: Sastiel-flavored coda for “Free to be You and Me” with some early seasons bamf!castiel.

🔆

6. My Sastiel Valentine by rosworms

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,371 | Chapters: 3/3

Tags: Episode: s05e14 My Bloody Valentine, Slash, NSFW, Sastiel - Freeform, Sam/Cas - Freeform

Summary: A very slight AU of the episode 'My Bloody Valentine' where Sam is affected by famine in a different way.

🔆 55 more fics, in relatively chronological order, below the cut 🔆

7. Boy in the White Suit by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 13,460 | Chapters: 7/7

Tags: Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Post-Apocalypse, Dark Sam Winchester, Insanity, Alice in Wonderland References, Blasphemy, Self-Destruction, Madness

Summary: Sam said no. Dean said yes. Sam lost his mind. Castiel lost his friends. That’s the road so far.

🔆

8. A More Profound Bond by confxsed

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,824 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst, Season/Series 05, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Slash

Summary: Five little moments where Dean notices the relationship between Sam and Castiel growing.

🔆

9. some space underneath my skin by hellsreluctantheir

Part 1 of touch -- The soulless Sam and Cas were fucking verse.

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 23,607 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Soulless!Sam, Season/Series 06

Summary: Humans liked to touch each other in ways that baffled Castiel. Not just in the manner they slyly referred to as biblically. He watched them clap hands onto shoulders and backs, lean into each other in exhaustion, sleep sitting up with feet resting against each other on the floor. A constant, reverberating, nonverbal hymn. I am here. You are here. We are here, and we are alive. Angels did not need that kind of reassurance. Castiel could hear his siblings' songs no matter how near he was to them physically. Prayers and psalms in the back of his mind. It saddened him, somewhat, to think that humanity would never know that.

🔆

10. The Unexpected by muzivitch

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,253 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Sam and Castiel discuss his missing year. Also, Sam has a crush that would be obvious to anyone but Castiel (except it might even be obvious to him, after all). Takes place after 6.12 "Like A Virgin."

🔆

11. Doing Just Fine by masterlynovak

M/M, Multi | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,069 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: idk it's a threesome but not really?, Dean is just watching Sam and Cas have sex, voyerism

Summary: Dean wakes up in a room with a naked Sam spread out on the bed.

🔆

12. Wings by Rowan203

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,415 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: AU after season 6. Sam comes back from the cage broken and changed. Dean and Castiel deal with it in different ways.

🔆

13. Between the Shadow and the Soul by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 6,456 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Poetry, hell is the absence of love, take shelter in me, castiel thinks sam is the wolf, sam thinks castiel is in another story, really they're both just lost in the fog

Summary: What if Sam was the one that went to Purgatory with Castiel?

🔆

14. The Sun Pale as Milk by Icanseenow

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 39,879 Chapters: 21/21

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 08, Purgatory, Post-Purgatory, Slow Burn, Nearly Human Castiel, Post-Season/Series 07

Summary: Instead of Dean, Castiel is the one to return from Purgatory first. He finds Sam, and together they spend a year. Looking for Dean and not looking for Dean.

🔆

15. a body of proof by lordofsoup

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 21,525 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Angelic Possession, Consensual Possession, basically possession (romantic), Trials of Hell, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, a minor point but i wanted to mention it, references to honey!cas, Developing Relationship, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Body, includes art!! [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Sam's sickness worsens after the second trial, resulting in him being rushed to the hospital, the extensive damage has left Sam drained of his fight. To continue with the trials Sam must allow Castiel to heal him, by possessing him. While having an alien home under his skin is nothing new for Sam, Castiel's constant presence unwittingly unburies a host of issues. Two people desperate for forgiveness in the same body should get crowded at times but between the nightmares, the sickness, and the blood; there are some cookies, a quiet beach on the coast of Oregon, and a chance at something new between them.

🔆

16. ficlet - sastiel, a/b/o dynamics by wrenseroticlibrary_archivist

[also on tumblr]

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 580 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Season/Series 08, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fallen Angel Castiel, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Porn, Ficlet, Alpha Castiel, Omega Sam Winchester

Summary: When Castiel had Fallen, he’d clearly become an alpha.

🔆

17. Stay in Touch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,310 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Missing Scene, Human Castiel, Newly Human Castiel, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, First Kiss, First Time, Masturbation, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Castiel and Sam Winchester in Love, Sastiel - Freeform

Summary: Concerned about newly-human Castiel's decision to leave the Bunker on his own, Sam sets out for Idaho to find his best friend - and get some answers for himself.

🔆

18. Angels and Answers by klove0511

Part 1 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 15,190 Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Possessed Sam Winchester, Memory Alteration, Human Castiel, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Sam Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Alternate Season/Series 09, Winchester communication skills

Summary: Cas has discovered his sexuality as a human when the Winchesters bring him to the bunker, and he and Sam fall into bed together. When Gadreel forces Dean to drive Cas away, the two must find their way back to each other, freeing Sam from Gadreel in the process.

🔆

19. So polite by bloodandcream

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,174 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 9, Angst, Sam topping from the bottom, Erectile Dysfunction

Summary: “Please,” was whispered into his mouth. So polite. Sam was in control here.

🔆

20. Had Worse by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,687 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Bunker Fic, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sam has a very high threshold for pain, and an iron will. So this current hunting injury, even with its weird attack on his view of reality, is nothing compared to what he has been through in the past. He’s had worse. But that does nothing to reassure those who love him.

🔆

21. I'm always dragging that horse around by Trojie

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,499 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Destiel, Enochian, Phobias, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 09, Episode: s09e11 First Born, Angel Healing, Implied Wincestiel, Hopeful Ending

Summary: Sam has a horror of angels and Cas has a compulsion to heal. It doesn't help that they speak the same languages, or that Dean is elsewhere - somehow he's always between them, and somehow they still have to meet in the middle.

🔆

22. The Best Medicine by sarasaurusrex

Multi | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,247 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Depressed Sam Winchester, Season/Series 09, Misunderstandings, Castiel Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Established Castiel/Sam Winchester, Domestic Fluff

Summary: Castiel confuses Sam’s symptoms of depression with symptoms of the flu and tries to help. Set mid season 9.

🔆

23. anything you need, that's what i'll be by starlightswait

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,092 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Dissociation, Bodily Autonomy, Season/Series 09, Aftermath of Possession, Post-Episode: s09e11 First Born, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Food Issues

Summary: There is a strange discomfort in healing Sam in the days that follow Dean’s departure.

🔆

24. muscle memory by hellsreluctantheir

Part 2 of touch - Sam's POV s7 - s9

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,830 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09

Summary: Sam lost his soul, slept with an angel, got his soul back, lost his memory, and then lost his mind before they could have a conversation about it. It's fine. The Hell trauma is gone, and he's coping. Even when Castiel comes back, he'll continue to cope.

🔆

25. Divine by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,120 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Kissing, First Time, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottoming from the Top, Angelic Grace Play, Angel Wings, Morning Sex, Oral Sex

Summary: Coda/AU scene to episode S09E11, First Born. "But nothing is worth losing you", Castiel shows that what he said was something he meant. Held safe in his arms and wings Sam learns the stunning truth about 'his' angel. How he heals the pain inside of him with something more than trust, care and touch.

🔆

26. Even If We Can't Find Heaven by ellerkay

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,044 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Having Faith, Loss of Faith, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Pining

Summary: Sam finds his faith and loses it and finds it again, albeit in a very different form. A Sastiel love story and exploration of Sam’s faith and spirituality. [Note: prayer during sex🙏]

🔆

27. Table For Two by the_diving_fox

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,775 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: somewhere in s9, Human Castiel, valentine's day fic, POV Outsider

Summary: A tired waitress at Ann's Diner happens to serve Sam and Castiel amidst all the other obnoxious Valentine's Day couples. Sam and Castiel manage to surprise her, though.

🔆

28. Two Beat Up Humans by PacJazz

M/M, Multi | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,863 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Pre-Slash, PTSD, Post-Gadreel, Human!Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Post-trials with no angel healing hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 09, Nightmares, Domestic Fluff, Hair Brushing, Insomnia, No Smut, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Sleepiness, Literal Sleeping Together [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Both broken, yet eager to help the other heal.... Sam and Cas are living in the bunker now, sans-dean after the gadreel betrayal. Cas is newly Human now, and while he needs some help learning the intricacies of that, Sam needs some help healing. They both share things, and think through what they've lost. *In slight AU where post-gadreel Sam is living in the bunker with newly human Castiel*

🔆

29. A Crucifixion Without A Christ by angelshotgun

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con | Words: 18,501 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Angelic Possession, Castiel's Angelic Grace, Major Character Injury, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hell Trauma, Sam Winchester is Loved, Hurt Castiel, Guilty Castiel, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, voicemail fixit, Post-Gadreel, Trust Issues, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Hunter Retirement [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: When Sam Winchester is badly injured on a hunt, Cas has to possess him to keep him alive and help him heal. And though Sam agreed to let him in, Cas is acutely aware of how many times Sam has had his bodily autonomy taken away from him, and how much Cas himself has contributed to Sam's pain. And now that he's inside Sam's head? Well, he tries to be as unobtrusive as possible, but Sam is just... traumatized. And hurting. Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is his chance to put aside his own feelings for Sam to help heal the hurts he had a hand in creating?

🔆

30. Moments of Madness by orphan_account

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,140 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, ish, Canon Compliant, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Protective Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Kissing, Fluff

Summary: It just happens, the first time. Dean's a Demon, and Sam's so alone. The next times?

🔆

31. Blankets by mako_lies (wingeddserpent)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,212 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s10e01 Black, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel

Summary: Sam and Cas try to take care of one another.

🔆

32. Situational Failure (The Chicken Soup Remix) by StripySock

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,540 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, Remix, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Sickfic, Frottage

Summary: There is a fear in Cas that if he lets Sam make himself at home in all of the places that Dean had declined to fill, he will lose the ability to ever refuse it again. Or: Sam is sick, Cas is failing, and Dean is nowhere to be found. [implied unrequited destiel]

🔆

33. Feathers Falling by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,144 | Chapters: 6/6

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angel Wings, Castiel in the Bunker, Permanent Injury, Protective Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Fever, Delirium, Castiel & Charlie Bradbury Friendship, Alternate Canon, Season/Series 10, Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel has been hurt, but he won't reveal how bad it is. Sam distracts him from the pain by reading him classic love stories, and Cas just doesn’t think any of them depict a love as strong as theirs.

🔆

34. Since When Does Sam Have PLANS? by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 343 | Chapters: 1/1

Summary: "Dean’s POV on Sastiel, late seasons Sastiel, the ‘mistaken for a couple’ trope.

🔆

35. Keep You from the Gallows Pole by Fallynleaf

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 7,337 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 10 Finale, Mark of Cain Cure, Charlie Lives, Implied Unrequited Destiel, Implied Unrequited Wincest, Implied Wincestiel, Asexual Relationship [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Season 10, if it were the love story of Sam and Cas.

🔆

36. Episode 199.5 by posingasme

Part 1 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 56,473 | Chapters: 20/20

Tags: Mark of Cain, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stolen Grace, Protective Dean Winchester, Demon Blood, BAMF Castiel, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Alternate Angel Lore, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Guilt

Summary: Dean is dealing with guilt, and fear of losing control to the Mark again. Castiel has new Grace, but eventually, it will burn out just as before. Sam just wants a fresh start all around. Life in the bunker is getting a bit...crowded. Memories and tempers are boiling over, along with something that has been heating up for a long time. Things get nasty when an old foe comes for Sam, and it's all hands on deck.

🔆

37. Wingman by posingasme

Part 2 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 65,222 | Chapters: 21/21

Tags: Spoilers, Mark of Cain, Dreams and Nightmares, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychological Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Destructive Dean Winchester

Summary: Now that Sam and Castiel have been honest with one another, and Dean has given his blessing, the two are forced into the awkward stage of figuring out where to go from here. Dean is still battling against the Mark, and his anxiety manifests in various ways, some of which are healthier than others.

🔆

38. Sentimental Iterations by fabella

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 33,370 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Future Fic, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 10, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Betrayal, Deception, Winchester Style Death (Not Typical Death), Semi Curtain Fic, Resolved Sexual Tension, Anal Sex, Rimming, Bottom Sam, Oral Sex, Sam is a big damn hero, Castiel-centric, Human Castiel, Big Brother Dean, Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, Mental Instability, Sacrifice, Brother Feels, Grief/Mourning [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel learned everything he knows about devotion from the Winchesters. In this peaceful future built on the back of Sam Winchester’s most recent sacrifice, Castiel discovers that death itself can be overcome. If he’s willing to pay the price. [Notes: Set after season 10. An entirely different take on season 11.]

🔆

39. Sam's Room by NobleHouseOfBlack

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,864 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: No Dialogue, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Platonic Cuddling, Feel-good

Summary: Sam's room in the bunker didn't seem like his room. He slept there occasionally but there was nothing that would indicate he lived there.

🔆

40. The Devil’s Gonna Let On That You’re In The Details by sahwen

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,055 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Post-Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Season/Series 12, this fic spans across a lot of time, Hook-Up, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Trauma, Protective Dean Winchester, Supportive Dean, Post-Possession

Summary: Sam and Cas have been hooking up casually for a while when something feels off to Sam. He’s sure it’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

🔆

41. Loved by the Devil, loved by an angel by N_13

Part 1 of Of this damned reality

M/M | Rating: Mature | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 3,076 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Rape/Non-con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, everybody needs a hug, and therapy, Hurt/very little comfort, Unhealthy Relationships, No really every relationship in this is fucked up on some level, Hurt Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester

Summary: Cas has loved Sam for quite some time. Then he said yes to Lucifer and everything went to hell.

🔆

42. Heartbreak is Savvy and Love is a Bitch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,405 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Lapdance, Light Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Sub Sam Winchester, Sensation Play, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sam Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Safewords, Sam Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Sam Winchester is Bad at Self Care, Castiel's not the most experienced dom, Established Relationship, Light Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel and Sam work on some fractures in their relationship. A gentle attempt at sensory play goes awry, leaving them scrambling to ratchet things back up to normal. Part of the 2020 Supernatural Kink Bingo.

🔆

43. Thirty Years too Late by hyperbolicfae

Gen, M/M, Other | Rating: Teen+ | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 2,770 | Chapters: 2/2

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Aftermath of Torture, Implied Mind Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Protective Mary Winchester

Summary: Mary Winchester has rescued her son. She’s just thirty years too late. Or: The aftermath of Sam’s rescue from the British Men of Letters

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44. whore of babylon by angelszn (artbabe)

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,465 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Infidelity, Movie Night, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Floor Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Guilt, Gift Exchange [contains background destiel]

Summary: “Dean is a good man, and I love him. But sometimes, I…” Cas licks his lips. “Sam, I’m afraid.” Sam should leave. He should walk away. He should run. But his body is heavy and wine-drunk, his head spins at what Cas might be hinting at. “What are you afraid of?”

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45. The One You're With by gracerene

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,397 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Sastiel, Platonic Sex, Friendship, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Fuck Or Die, Curses, Frottage, POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 12, Hung Sam Winchester, Present Tense

Summary: Sam knows better than to touch anything in the bunker that looks even the slightest bit suspicious. And yet…

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46. Wins & Losses by Threshie

M/M, Multi | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 17,384 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Temporarily Dead Castiel, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, Comforting Dean Winchester, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sastiel, Wincest, Wincestiel, Poly Vee With Sam Pivot, Cuddling & Snuggling, Men of Letters Bunker, Angst with a Happy Ending, Touchy-Feely, Grieving Sam Winchester, Idiots in Love [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: A few months after Sam and Castiel start dating, the angel is killed. Still reeling from the loss of his best friend, Dean can’t just sit and watch Sam’s heartbreak slowly pull him away, too.

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47. Now I am here by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,728 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Asexual Relationship, Literal Sleeping Together, Sharing a Bed, Feelings Realization, Hugs, Boys Kissing, Case Fic, Monster Hunters, Crime Scenes, Angst, Blood, Hurt, Pagan Gods, Magic

Summary: Castiel and Sam have come to another nameless town to free it from the claws of a dark and ancient power. As they work the case their friendship grows stronger, changing into something more or does it? This, here, now… brings the confirmation they each needed.

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48. Something Good by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,876 | Chapters: 4/4

Tags: Food Issues, showtunes, Sleep Deprivation, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester

Summary: Everyone deals with their losses in their own way, and Sam prefers to work things out on his own. But his angel friend can’t stand on the sidelines as the hunter wastes away in pain. Sam may have had a complex past, but an angel’s love is proof that he must have done something good.

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49. Something to Talk About by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 777 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mentions Castiel but he's not actually here, Bunker Era, Dean being a big brother, telltale hickies, Love Bites

Summary: To be honest, Sam thought it took Dean way longer than he would’ve expected to figure he and Castiel were together.

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50. Lois by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 4,195 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Superman References (DCU), Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings

Summary: Jack discovers the joy of comic books, and reminds Castiel of a time when Bobby Singer called him Superman. And Dean had an opinion about who his Lois Lane was.

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51. Happy Ain't a Two-Story Victorian, But it Might Be This by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,382 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s14e15 Peace of Mind, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake Marriage, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Dean Winchester Tries, Family Issues, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester Bonding

Summary: Sam and Castiel have been on a mission to an Arkansas hamlet, and they haven't checked in. When Dean and Jack trail them to a quiet street in Charming Acres, what they find is nothing like either of them expected. To be honest, cleaning out a nest of vampires might be easier than this, but Dean's going to give it the old college try. Whatever that means.

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52. Milestones and Misunderstandings by klove0511

Part 2 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,711 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mildly homophobic!Mary, inappropriate anniversary gifts, protective!Dean, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Season/Series 14, Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, Oblivious!Dean

Summary: There is something different about Sam and Cass. The lingering stares, the intimate touches. The careful whispers and secret smiles. Dean knew it. He was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.

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53. Stricta Dormire by klove0511

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 3,583 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Temporary Character Death, Fairy Tale Type Death, Established Relationship, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Castiel, Grief/Mourning, True Love's Kiss

Summary: When Sam is hit by a spell, Cass is the only one that can save him. Meanwhile, Dean is grieving his brother, unaware of the struggle going on within Sam’s mind.

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54. Roadhouse Rough by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 12,738 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Curtain Fic, Alcohol, Hurt Sam Winchester, Retired Hunter Sam Winchester, Bartender Sam Winchester, Permanent Injury

Summary: The last tangle with the last archangel ended with an act of spite, from which Sam will never recover. Lucifer’s bitter parting gift to his wayward vessel means Sam’s forced retirement. He runs the hub from his very own Roadhouse, and watches over a powered-down nephilim, while a weakened but recovering Castiel hunts at Dean’s side. It’s a rough life, but someone’s got to do it.

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55. Familiar Spirits by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,619 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Wisconsin - Freeform, The Beast of Bray Road, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Season/Series 15, Monster of the Week, Case Fic, Sastiel Secret Santa Exchange, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Secret Santa 2019

Summary: Fills in a little gap of time between 15-7 and 15-8. Sam's on the hunt for Eileen, and winds up on a case in the middle of Wisconsin in December. What seems like a straightforward case of werewolves gets out of hand, when the werewolves turn out to be something Sam's never encountered before. It's Castiel to the rescue, but in the middle of the night in a refrigerator of a forest, one wrong move could be the last one they ever make.

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56. a rock with a hole in it by De_Nugis

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 11,052 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: faerie - Freeform, possibly in some way a Canadian shack fic, except Faerie, Consent Issues, animal death (hunting), Unrequited Destiel, Soulless Sam Winchester, POV Castiel

Summary: Castiel walks back into Faerie with Sam's soul in a jar in his pocket.

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57. Right Now by spideybegins

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,512 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Comforting Castiel, samcas, Sastiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 15, Angst, Crying Sam Winchester, Don’t Look at These Messy Tags, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, no beta we die like men

Summary: The one where Cas hears Sam crying and realizes he’s been avoiding the youngest Winchester for much too long. Set somewhere in season 15.

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58. It’s Good to Be Here Again, With You by raisinghellonstarbug

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,240 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Canon Compliant, Reunions, Mentioned Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sharing a Bed, Season/Series 15, Episode: s15e07 Last Call

Summary: Sam is missing Castiel and doesn't understand why he left. He knows Dean has something to do with it. But then he shows back up just in time before Sam's in real trouble.

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59. wishing too hard for them to stay by angelfishofthelord

Gen | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,727 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode s15e17 coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, One Shot, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Speculation, POV First Person, POV Sam Winchester [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: You tell me you’re doing to die, and I don’t yell at you. Instead I say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

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⚠️ Unfinished Fic - last updated in 2013

60. Of Blood And Water by lovedsammy

M/M, Gen | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 20,081 Chapters: 7/?

Tags: 8x23, Fallen Angels, Post Season/Series 08, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance, Angst, fallen!cas, Hurt!Sam, Hurt!Cas, Slash, stigmata!sam, Stigmata, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, AU, Season/Series 9 canon divergent, Friendship

Summary: Now AU to season 9! Post-8x23, "Sacrifice". Both of them were wounded, broken, in need of repair; both of them had done things in the name of the greater good and had ultimately failed and caused something or another to bend and break and destroy upon itself. They'd both wrecked themselves to achieve an end, and in turn wrecked others. But they couldn't have been more than two opposites on the end of the spectrum that somehow aligned at the middle-point, and now there was no going back.

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💜💀🖤 Self Rec 💜💀🖤

(because this is a list of my favs, and I wrote it for me)

61. grief and husbands on the interstate by ladygizarme

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,787 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: background wincest, background wincestiel - Freeform, they're a polycule but they're sam-centered, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rimming, Bottom Sam Winchester, Spit As Lube, Wound Tending, Episode: s14e01 Stranger in a Strange Land, part coda, Part fix-it, Polyamory, Anal Sex

Summary: En route from Detroit back to the bunker, Cas makes them stop at a motel. Sam is exhausted, and so is everybody else. But right now, Castiel's priority is Sam, and he knows just what he needs. Part coda, part fix-it to 14x01.

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