#Character Study
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Kallamar the Coward
Thinking about Kallamar in Cult of the Lamb, with how the lore and even his own siblings taunt him for being a coward and he even tries to bargain and sway you away from getting your revenge and killing him, even ready to throw Shamura under the bus to save himself, but then when you finally push him into a corner and he's forced to fight he not only busts out a bunch of weapons and starts quad-wielding them but he was once regarded by the fandom as being among the hardest bosses of the base game.
It got me thinking, was he always like this? Narinder certainly thinks so, but there's bias there. It's easy to just write him off as always being a mess like this...
But there's no denying he's the second in power after Shamura, Anchordeep is known for its beauty, he takes personal pride in the way he took care of his cult/area, and when in Purgatory out of all the bishops he's notably the most lucid/aware of where he is.
So I present this: After Narinder's sealing, Shamura was in no state to lead or give orders. The Bishops all had massive injuries that refused to heal. Who out of the 4 would immediately be assumed to be the one to take a leadership role? Who had comparatively more "manageable" injuries to take care of the other 3? And who would you assume is most likely to have medical experience to at least try to lessen the impact of all of their wounds?
Kallamar, Pestilence and Cure.
Early on after The One Who Waits was sealed away, Kallamar would have had to effectively take over the Old Faith while also caring for a broken beyond repair older sibling, who had always been the "Wise" one that the others blindly followed, yet was now barely even there at the best of times, and two younger siblings, one who was now permanently blind (and young/weak enough that they couldn't even muster a single Curse towards the Lamb before being crushed within days of their resurrection even years after the sealing, so just imagine how new to godhood they were back when this all started), and another who had had her throat torn out, all while downplaying his own wounds.
What if, then, at some point, he simply broke?
He resents Shamura, even potentially sincerely blames them for causing the entire thing (which Shamura confesses to), both leading them to turn on Narinder and also for leading everyone to killing the Lambs. He's still fond of Leshy, but from how quick to take charge Heket is, it's clear that after he proved unable to take the stress of it all, she was next in line as the "leader" of The Old Faith. There's gotta be some resentment there on both ends because of that, particularly with how quick he is to criticize how she took care of her territory.
And then compare how he is as a bishop to how he is as a follower. I think it's very very interesting that he goes from a dirty coward and absolute pathetic mess of anxiety and fear, to pleading directly to his own executioner for help, to being almost perfectly happy and content to simply be a Follower of the Lamb's cult. The others (minus Shamura, due to their condition) are resentful and quick to give sharp words to the Lamb, but Kallamar? It's like all his anxiety is gone with his godhood. He has nothing to fear anymore, and is almost ridiculously quick to be friendly to the Lamb and share his tastes in decor and pride in appearances with them. Not even in the "kissing up" way, he talks like they're equals. Is this what Kallamar was like, before everything? Is he actually HAPPIER as a Mortal now that all of the responsibility and fear of death is gone? Even secretly grateful?
There's no denying his cowardice. There's no denying it crossed a line when he was ready to betray Shamura when his nerves reached their limit. There's no denying that as much as he'd like to believe that he is absolved of guilt for The Old Faith's sins simply because he was just doing what Shamura told him to even if he claims he thought it was a bad idea.
But you also have to wonder what caused that cowardice to form, and what other feelings motivate his actions besides fear.
(tldr: sad squid was not ready to become the responsible one, especially not after going deaf and being traumatized. Has a mental breakdown halfway through raising the others due to not being able to actually deal with going deaf or being traumatized because it turns out being the god of physical health is different from mental health. Little sister ends up having to step up and be the mom now. Their relationship never recovered because of it, and he now blames the eldest for failing them and also for his own failures to cope. As a bonus developed an attachment to his own killer out of some weird warped perception of them "rescuing" him from his stress and then from death itself.)
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Pages Turned (Nesta Week Day 2 - Metamorphosis)
Day 2 of @nestaarcheronweek
The sun was blinding on the Sidra as Nesta looked out from the balcony of the River House. Her dress swayed around her in the light breeze, swirling around her ankles as she looked out towards the distant mountains. As long as it had taken her to admit it, she truly considered this place her home. In fact, she could see her literal home from here, stretching across the great mountain face overlooking the city.
Maybe she could swindle the house into some lemon-peach tea and another slice of raspberry tart tonight.
She loved Velaris most this time of year, the flowers of early spring popping through the ground, signaling rebirth and things starting anew. She could see the vast gardens surrounding the eastern and back sides of the River House from this balcony. Elain had done a lovely job curating them all by hand years ago. As she grew more and more comfortable in her fae form, she had enchanted them to shift with the seasons, carefully selecting the colors to complement each other and parts of the garden to always be in bloom throughout the year. Nesta smiled to herself–her sister was a female of many talents.
Another warm light breeze pushed against her, causing her to sigh as the lovely scents of lemon and the sea pressed into her skin. She could smell a smattering of other scents below, the remnants of guests arriving for the ceremony taking place today. In amongst them she could just barely pluck out the scent of Cass, somewhere downstairs talking Az off a ledge, no doubt.
She’d only recently left the room where she’d been with all the other females all morning, pinning and zipping and tying and laughing. She’d left to grab some snacks and finish her own preparations for her role as the “Valkyrie of Honor”, as Cass had teasingly called it, neither mate willing to surrender her to the other side for the ceremony.
Her hair still needed styling, so she turned back to the guest room, stepping carefully across the threshold from the porch and sitting primly at the vanity. She’d brought some jeweled pins specifically for the occasion, silver and dotted with tiny blue gems. She laughed to herself at the little joke.
As she looked in the mirror and began to twist and pull her long strands of hair into place, she thought, not for the first time, how thankful she was to have managed all this–to even be here at all.
Nesta had never been one for reflection, choosing instead to plow steadfastly ahead no matter the circumstances, obstacles, or otherwise in her way. She found there had been little time in her life to ruminate on the “what ifs” for whatever reason, and ultimately, she’d mostly broken herself of the very human habit. Even when it hurt, even when she fought tooth and nail, even when it felt as though her still-beating heart had been torn from her chest, Nesta always ended up where she needed to be and not a moment too soon.
Sure, she would have liked to experience a bit less of the heartbreak life had doled out to her, but in her time as an immortal, she’d come to grips with much of that. There would never be a right time for hardships–of course not–but Nesta was at a point now where she genuinely liked who she was for the first time since she could remember. It wasn’t because others had given her approval, it wasn’t because she’d done “enough” to earn her peace–Nesta just genuinely liked herself.
She was, dare she even think it, happy.
The Firstborn.
Nesta might have been happy as a child, but the memories were too hazy to recall. She didn’t remember a time before Elain, barely remembered a time before Feyre, but she remembered her lessons. From the time she could walk, she was in classes: etiquette, ballroom, needlepoint, pianoforte, singing, modern languages, and painting.
Her grandmother would watch as she would plié, jeté, arabesque around the echoing room, thrumming her sharply with a switch any time her footwork was off and harshly adjusting her posture until her chin pointed to the heavens. She knew better than to fight back, knew better than to complain, knew the only way it would ever end was if she did as she was told.
She remembered being jealous of Elain having more freedom and Feyre being able to be loose and free. For Elain, being around others came so naturally. She was outgoing, friendly, and warm. Feyre was wild, always romping about the woods and the streams and the nearby village, covered in dirt and cursing. Nesta wondered all the time why she’d been born first. What had the universe decided that rendered their order so concrete that she’d be eternally doomed to watching her two little sisters live the lives she craved? She remembered seeing them from the windows of the dance studio, wondering why she couldn’t be outside, too.
Nesta, your power is within your station, and your station means absolutely nothing without skill. Your beauty is a weapon–your social skills a knife. If you don’t sharpen it, you’ll be as worthless as anyone else.
So they practiced, and practiced, and practiced until Nesta’s toes bled. Until the smile on her face was as shallow and cracked as a dry lake bed, but muscle memory would deliver it on a silver platter regardless.
At night, when there was no one left to hear, she would cry, her shoulders heaving in the quiet dark, and she would dream every night about flying away from this place, far over the distant mountains and streams. Far away from her mother and grandmother and expectations of a life that would never be lived for herself anyway.
When Nesta’s grandmother died, she wasn’t sad, but she mourned appropriately. When her mother was taken not even two years later, she hated the spark of hope that rang through her chest. Freedom. She could have that freedom.
It didn’t last long before she realized what it meant.
Her father lost their money, her sisters lost their joy, and she lost the last flare of hope as she realized the sacrifices that she would be making. Had she been happy before, then? In that brief moment in between? Hope and happiness weren’t the same, but that small glance of freedom had tasted so sweet. She started having those dreams again of flying–great wings, almost bright red in the light of the sun, gliding through the sky and carrying her to somewhere better, something greater than this.
In those dreams, at least, she could pretend to be happy.
The Sister.
When Feyre was taken, the dreams changed. She was no longer flying high, but being held down, a great beast that shifted between the form of a wolf and a bear and Tomas Mandray in a barn. She woke up in cold sweats in the manor that was haunted with ghosts no one but her could see. As Elain bloomed under this new money, her father became the person she remembered, Nesta withdrew, remembering her mother’s words and sharpening herself once again to be used as a weapon.
The world moved on, but she stayed–the only one who seemed to recognize this for all it was.
So she hardened herself further, and she walked into town with a bag of dirty fae money, threw it at the feet of a mercenary trading pelts, and demanded to be taken to the wall. Three days and nights they trekked through the terrifying woods, her hair standing on end the entirety of the trip. She swore she heard voices whispering quietly from behind the trees. She wondered if, by the time she arrived, Feyre would even still be living.
Each night, she fell asleep clutching a knife to her chest and staring at the stars until her eyes could no longer hold themselves open. She dreamed of a beautiful golden cage, a city by a river, and a low, red glow of light while a man cried nearby. The sadness overwhelmed her so vividly that she woke up feeling devastated all over again.
The trip to the wall meant nothing in the end. They couldn’t find a way through, and so they repeated the whole journey over again, the fear turning to icy resolve in her heart. Elain and her father might not remember, but she would.
Brick by brick on the journey back, Nesta resurrected her walls. They had their money back, but in the end, her circumstances had not changed. She would still be expected to marry, still be forced into the life she was bred for. In the end, Nesta was always made to be a weapon of society meant to serve her family and then another, so she’d ready herself for a new kind of hardness in her demeanor; she would give herself new safe holds within her mind and heart.
When she’d finally seen her sister again, Feyre had been changed–different–and so had she. Feyre was determined and in love, a feeling Nesta had long since given up on. And Nesta was stone cold–her resolve liquifying in her veins like glacial ire. But Feyre was home, and when she painted with Nesta, the patience in her voice nearly tore Nesta to shreds.
She steeled her face, held her lips thin, but her heart, or what was left of it, shattered to bits, leaving her a fragmented mess of nothingness in its wake as she said goodbye yet again to the littlest sister she’d been expected to protect and constantly failed.
The Weapon.
In the end, Nesta was made into a weapon. Not for society, not for a husband, but a true, honest weapon. She’d had everything taken from her when she’d thought there had been nothing left to take, and as she sunk into the icy depths of a childhood fairytale turning into a living nightmare, it tried to take some more.
All her years of training, all the words about her sharpness, every single time someone had called her hard, difficult, cold, unfeeling–she channeled it all. She let her unending rage fuel her, scraping and struggling and demanding.
As the Cauldron took from her, she took back.
Disembodied voices of all ages and genders screamed around her in the dark, fathomless water, but she pulled and screamed and yanked and shrieked until the powers gave way and silence took over. She floated, thoughtless and ephemeral, until the waters began to ebb and flow and she crested to a light above her, the new power humming in her veins as her fingers found arched ears and her eyes found him.
He who had come into her home when she was cold and hard and angry at the world, preening and strutting like some insipid bird-brained idiot. He who called her Nes instead of Nesta. He who acted as though he was utterly indestructible, drawing sneers from her lips as he smiled smugly at her from across the room. He who had taken shot after shot of magic to protect her, shredding his beautiful wings in the process. He whose wings were illuminated by the ward-breaking magic behind him, lighting up and glowing red and stealing her breath as she recognized them from her dreams.
Truly, she didn’t mind being fae. She hadn’t wanted it, hated that the choice had been taken from her like all choices had, but for the first time in her life, Nesta felt powerful. She felt a power in her veins to match the power she’d felt in her stubborn will, her anger, her rage. She liked the arched ears, she liked that she wouldn’t age, she liked that people were afraid of what she could do.
All this scattered to ashes when she’d been ready to die with Cassian, when she took the head off the king.
Power meant nothing to her if it couldn’t save him.
Afterward, when everyone was okay, she thought she might ride the wave of that power forever–might embrace the image of her beheading the king and add it to her collection of things that made her feel strong. But instead, when she looked at her father’s burning body, all she heard was his neck cracking over and over and her steely resolve shattered like glass. All she saw was Cassian being blown from the sky, ceasing to exist as she called his name, and every defense she’d ever built scattered like dandelions in the wind.
Even with all the suffering–even with all the power–she could never protect those she cared about. The only thing she could do for herself was push them all away so it didn’t hurt so much. All she could do was try to feel nothing at all. She was a monster. The words echoed in her head.
I loved you from the first moment I held you in my arms. And I am… I am so sorry, Nesta - my Nesta. I am so sorry, for all of it.
Nesta–my Nesta.
Nesta–my Nesta.
Nesta–my Nesta.
My Nesta.
She’d done this. She’d pushed him away. He’d saved their lives, and it didn’t excuse the years before, but she’d never told him. She’d only tortured him. She’d never told him, and now she never would.
Now, Nesta only dreamed of fires and the cracking of bone.
The Wreck.
Nesta had gone to the beach once as a child. Her mother had allowed her and Elain to swim, though Feyre had been too little. Nesta remembered how the sand pulled in the water from beneath her feet, coming and going with each push and pull of the waves. She remembered being in awe of the power in front of her, the strength in those waves. She remembered being worried if she went under, she may never come back up.
That’s what it felt like in Velaris. Everything was blurry around her, the sounds and sights and smells muffled despite her senses being sharper than they’d ever been before. She felt like she was being pulled under those waves, and every time she tried to come back up for air, something pushed her back beneath.
Cassian tried to speak with her, but every time he did she couldn’t see anything but her body draped over his, throat raw and soul willing to die with him on that battlefield.
Feyre tried to talk to her, but every time she did, all she could see were her father’s features on the face of a fae, his neck snapping like a branch in a storm.
She tried to talk herself out of it, but every day was torture. She couldn’t bathe because it reminded her of the Cauldron. She couldn’t eat because she felt too ill. She couldn’t talk to anyone because her voice might crack, and if they asked her about it, the tight leash she held might snap and she would never get it back in hand.
So Nesta returned to her roots, building that wall up piece by piece until it was even stronger than before.
She spent her nights in her apartment, alone and filling the void with everything she could. Alcohol to numb her pain and quiet her thoughts, gambling to distract her, men–males–to ease the loneliness that ached down to her very bones. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough, but it was all she had.
She knew she could seek out her sister, knew she could even seek out Cassian, but then she’d have to face it all, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t even contemplate the possibility.
But sometimes, at night, as the males snored by her side in a bed that was too cold, she imagined it was Cassian she’d brought home, his hands warm and broad on her body, his chest pressed to her back, his lips roaming her neck. Sometimes, she pictured it was him as she cried, leaned against the door to the bathroom as she let the tears fall where no one else could possibly see.
“It’s okay, Nes. It’s all going to be okay.”
She wanted to believe it, but she didn’t. Nesta didn’t dream anymore.
The Valkyrie.
Nesta wasn’t expecting the recovery when it came. She wasn’t expecting to recover at all.
In fact, the first thing she felt outside of her own despair was rage. Rage and wrath and fury that everyone else was given their space to grieve as they saw fit. Everyone but her, and only because she was embarrassing Feyre.
Everyone had given Elain time to be a useless, depressed, ghost of a person. Everyone allowed her to kick Lucien away like a mongrel on the street. But no, not Nesta. Not the mate of a member of their elite friend group. Not the sister who refused to bend for them.
The world had taken enough from her, and she wasn’t going to let some well-dressed bat and his friends pressure her into feeling the things that she’d carefully shoved away.
But then they did anyway. Every time Nesta thought there was nothing left to take, something else was taken.
Buried in her rage and ignoring her grief, however, she had found something she hadn’t been looking for–kinship. Understanding.
Gwyn and Emerie had not been expected, but for the first time in her life, it felt like she’d been given something instead of forced into giving it away. They understood her in a way that her own sisters never had. They didn’t expect anything of her except for her to wake up and face the day with them as they did themselves. They were all healing in their own way until one day they realized they had been healing together.
Strangely, finding her chosen sisters did not push her farther away from her own. She found, instead, that she respected her sisters and their choices in a whole new light. In learning to give and accept love in the way she’d never done before, she saw how they’d been set up to fail from the start by their family, by their dynamic.
Breaking free from it all had allowed Nesta to heal and see things with new eyes. Knowing that it hadn’t only been her doing everything she could to survive, but her sisters too, let her give freely what she’d withheld so fervently from others, but most of all from herself: forgiveness.
Finding a purpose had fulfilled Nesta in ways she’d never experienced, and finding it with people she loved made the victory so much sweeter. For once, the things she built up brick by brick were not her walls, but her fortitude, her bravery, her trust, and her openness. She found she liked the feeling of pushing herself into something uncomfortable and new, and she stopped leaving claw marks on every part of her she’d had to leave behind.
When Nesta began to dream again, she was afraid that she would return to those nightmares: Cassian injured, her father dying, the fathomless depths of the Cauldron. She wondered if she’d now be greeted by Cassian with a knife, Briallyn with the crown, the swords coming down on her again and again on Ramiel as she fought to make sure her sisters survived.
Instead, when she dreamed, she saw white ribbons, her nephew, and a family that she chose for herself. She was dreaming of wings in the skies again, soft hands on her as the glow of the sun and the siphons bathed her in a warm red glow, and the low words rumbling in her ear and wrapping straight around her immortal heart.
“Hello, Nes.”
The Mate.
Nesta remembered the final step, allowing her guard down enough to let Cassian in to stay. She fought the urge to push him out, to keep that space in her heart silent and cold as it had always been. But his warmth and his joy and his laugh and his love found their way in, nestling within her ribs like a cat in a ray of sun.
She found, at the end of the day, it was impossible to not love Cass. And as much as she’d insisted they hadn’t been well matched, she found every single part of him complemented every single part of her.
Once she allowed herself to love and be loved in return, she was surprised to find that her default actually wasn’t cold and alone. In fact, Nesta found she loved to be held, loved to wake up with that heat at her back, loved to feel his strong hands on her, always–at meals, at training, in passing, and at night. She loved the steadiness of him, of her mate.
The Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death were only soft for each other and those they loved, and that was how it would remain.
Nesta looked out again to the lovely mountains of Velaris, the Sidra glittering below in the mid-afternoon sun. She could hear the chatter on the other side of the house as everyone prepared for the mating ceremony. She’d been organizing and helping to set this up for months, and she was not about to be late to see her work come to fruition. She was sure Cass was already downstairs socializing.
As if she’d summoned him, his booming laugh bounded through the halls of the house, and she couldn’t help but grin as she pressed one last pin into her hair.
A quiet knock on the door before it opened had her turning in the chair.
“Nesta? We’re all just about set to go. You ready?” Feyre had poked her head through the door. “Oh, you look lovely!”
Nesta blushed. Even after all these years, it was hard to accept compliments so freely from her sister.
“Yes, all set! Just finishing up my hair. Is Az shitting his pants yet?”
“Not quite, but he is pacing a hole in the floor. Cassian has been trying to slow him down.” She responded with a giggle, holding out a hand for Nesta to take.
“Well, we’d best not keep them waiting.” She took Feyre’s hand in hers, the other supporting her swollen belly as she came to stand. She rubbed a hand over it, feeling a swift kick in return. It never failed to make her soul feel like it was about to take off over the peaks of Velaris.
She smiled, feeling the tiny winged babe wriggle around beneath her ribs. It wouldn’t be much longer now and they’d have this little one in their arms. The thought of Cass with their child snuggled into his bare chest while she listened to him tell them stories made her heart swell with warmth, and she suddenly couldn’t wait to get down the stairs to see him again.
The Mother.
Biggest thank you to @cauldronblssd, @witch-and-her-witcher, and @tunaababee for the beta reads! I love youuuu
#nesta archeron#nesta acotar#nestaweek2024#nesta week day 2: metamorphosis#nessian#nesta x cassian#character study
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A little comfort continuation of my riz 💚character study (aftermath w/ jawbone to the rescue!! hes such a dad 🐺)
Riz meant to go back inside. He did. He was going to heave himself up and amble back in, wedging himself between Fabian and Fig (if they hadn’t already filled his space with their flailing limbs in the short time he’d been out).
He was going to do it. Just as soon as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Just as soon as he got a handle on things.
It can’t have been longer than twenty minutes after Pok hung up when the door behind him creaks open. Shit. He thought he had more time. Riz swallows and blinks frantically as if that will somehow cover the puffiness to his eyes, the tear tracks that- despite excessive scrubbing- won’t completely go away.
“Riz.” It’s Jawbone. There’s relief in his voice, but something else too. A yawning kind of drowsiness. Riz takes a deep breath, ignoring the sinking ball of guilt in his gut.
“Hey, Jawbone, sorry. Did I wake you up?” He almost surprises himself with the calmness in his voice, but is glad of it, nonetheless. What an inconvenient time to find out he actually can lie convincingly.
The door creaks again and there’s a sharp click in the silence of the night as Jawbone shuts the door behind him. There are a few moments of scuffling before a weight settles over Riz’s shoulders- warm, fluffy- and Jawbone sits next to him on the steps.
Riz looks down to find that he’s been wrapped in a blanket, one of the nice ones from the linen closet. Had Jawbone known he was out here? How much had he seen? Did he hear anything?
Riz pulls the blanket tighter against himself, suddenly aware of how cold he is.
“Thanks.” He mutters. Jawbone hums and turns to look at him.
“Course. Saw you shivering, didn’t want you to catch a cold or nothin’.” Maybe this is something to do with guidance counselors, or faculty at Auguefort in general, but Jawbone’s gaze is piercing. Riz feels at once flayed open and carefully examined.
He coughs, curling further into himself.
“I can go back in now. Was going to, in a second, but…” He can’t finish the thought, everything that comes to mind is either childish or worrying, neither of which he wants to be in front of Jawbone. He swallows thickly.
Jawbone leans into the railing behind him, getting comfortable. “There’s no rush, Riz. I mean, I do think you need to sleep at some point tonight, but that can wait a little. At least until your tail stops swishin’ like that.” Riz immediately tucks the thing under one of his legs, embarrassed at being betrayed by his own biology. His face burns.
“I’m fine. You’re right, I need to get some sleep before the exam tomorrow, or I’ll be totally useless to the party.” He doesn’t turn to look at Jawbone as he speaks, simply stares resolutely at some of the loose brick in front of him.
“Now I didn’t say that last part, kiddo. You need to sleep ‘cuz it looks like you haven’t gotten a proper eight hours in a while, and I can see it weighing on your shoulders with the rest of it.” Jawbone says, gently. Riz bristles, almost wants to hiss at him. What does he know about what Riz carries on his shoulders?
“I said I’m fine, Jawbone.” He grits, standing. “I should go.” Jawbone curses.
“Wait. Please.” Riz pauses, finally meeting his eyes. They’re as sharp as ever, but soft, too. If that makes any sense. Jawbone continues, “It kills me seein’ you like this kiddo. I feel like a broken record sayin’ this, but I really do mean it, I’m always here to talk if you need to. Or, even if you don’t want to talk I just- it just seems like you could use somebody, is all.”
Riz feels like he’s glitching. His mind is screaming at him to keep walking, to get back in the house, lay down, and close his eyes tight until the sleep takes. But he’s so warm. And he kind of wants to cry again and Jawbone would give him a hug, probably, if he asked for it. Right?
At war with himself, all he manages to do is freeze in his tracks and utter an intelligent, “Um.”
Jawbone smiles and pats the stone next to him.
“Come on. You don’t gotta say anything, but at least sit down. And- oh, here,” He reaches into one of his cardigan’s pockets and produces a small mini chocolate bar. “A little pick-me-up.”
Riz settles gingerly next to him, closer than before but not close enough to touch. He reaches over and takes the chocolate, movements slow as he raises his eyebrows.
Jawbone shrugs. “I always keep a few on me, just in case. Never know when you might need ‘em.”
Riz smiles, small and to himself, for the first time in what feels like hours. Jawbone grins back.
“There he is. If you want another, just ask, I should have one or two more on me.”
Then it’s silent for a good, long while. Riz stares into the pitch black that pushes up against the safe halo of light surrounding the house as he chews on silky chocolate. He can’t help but replay the conversation with his father over and over again in his mind. Jawbone’s head is tilted to the stars.
For all he knows- for all Riz ever knows- that could be the last conversation he is able to have with Pok until he dies again. The watch is what allows them to talk across planes and it, like everything else Riz is and owns, is breakable. It’s unlikely that the watch will break tomorrow (Riz is a ranged fighter, he never gets close if he can help it, nothing should get near enough to him to get to it…), but not impossible. Never impossible.
Something warm and wet drips down his chin and onto his fist, where its clenched around the blanket. Riz brings his other hand to swipe at his eyes. Fuck. He shouldn’t be crying like this. He thought he was cried-out.
Jawbone’s voice rings out from beside him, tender, “Kiddo.”
Riz shakes his head, curling further into the blanket as if the fabric might protect him from this mortifying situation.
“Sorry.” He mumbles. “I thought I was done with this part.”
It’s quiet for a moment.
“It’s okay to need to cry, Riz. Definitely nothing you need to apologize for.”
Riz shivers, somehow cold again, even with the blanket. He wants to burrow into Jawbone’s chest, to cling like he used to, to his mom before he grew out of it and became a man (he was so young, then; he should’ve given it more time, he could’ve given it more time). He doesn’t want to ask, though.
Doesn’t know if he can ask.
Jawbone looks down at him- shivering, hunched underneath a thin cotton blanket- and he must see something that Riz doesn’t mean to betray because his breath catches, and he does the asking for him.
“Can I hug ya, kid?”
Riz nods once, sharply, as soon as the words are in the air. Jawbone reaches out and gathers him up in his arms. Pressing him firmly, but gently, against his chest. Riz buries his face into his cardigan and allows himself a minute of foolishness.
He hiccups.
“I miss my dad, Jawbone. I wish he wasn’t dead.” His voice breaks on the last word, all he gets out is the ‘de’, and he leaves the rest to hang in the air with his sobs.
Jawbone’s hand comes up to rub lightly over his back. He doesn’t say anything, just allows Riz to cycle through his emotions.
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair that he’s gone and me and mom just have to deal with it.” Riz takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.
“Sometimes… I know it’s stupid and illogical, but sometimes I get mad at him. I get so furious with him. Because he’s not here. He didn’t do what he needed to do to be here for his son. And I know that’s wrong and he couldn’t help it and if he could choose to be here, he would, but it doesn’t stop the anger. I don’t like it. But I don’t know what to do with it because it’s not fixable. I can’t put it anywhere, so I just push it down and hope it goes away, eventually. It never goes away.”
Jawbone hums, and Riz can feel the vibration of it against his cheek. It reminds him of a cat purring, almost. If the cat smelled like dog.
“It’s okay to feel upset that your father was taken from you before you got the chance to know him. That’s not stupid or illogical. I’m sure he beats himself up about it just as much, if he’s anything like his son.”
Riz, despite himself, laughs.
“It’s nice getting to know him now.” He sniffs. “It’s just- I feel like I’m playing a game of catch-up every time we talk. Like I’m late to the race. Most kids know what their dads do for work before high school.”
“But it’s not a race, Riz.” Jawbone’s voice is low, but vehement. “No one is judging you for not knowing these things about your father, because you thought he was unreachable up until a year ago. The fact that you’re taking every opportunity to learn about him, that you spent so much time- even before you knew what he did for work- visiting his grave and updating him about your life, and still do, sometimes. It’s a testament to how much you love him. I think he knows that.”
The silence following those words stays for another minute or so before Riz huffs.
“But I don’t love him enough to bring him back, huh. There’s magic in any strong emotion, Kristin told me that, once. And I just started messing with magic stuff, but you would think that it wouldn’t be impossible. Not if the love was strong enough.”
Jawbone sighs, brings a hand to Riz’s hair and begins to card through it, almost absentmindedly. Riz freezes, then melts into it. It’s been so long since anybody played with his hair like this. His mom used to do it, when he was younger, but then the bills got higher, her shifts got longer. It fell to the bottom of the priorities list.
“You can’t do that to yourself, kid. You can’t. You think if Ms. Barkrock wanted it enough, was rageful enough, she coulda expelled the demon from her chest earlier?”
Riz shakes his head, slightly, afraid to dislodge jawbone’s hand. “Of course not. But that’s different-“
“Not really.” Jawbone cuts in, gently. “Point is, magic don’t work like that. Emotions are a factor, yes, but there’s so much else that goes into it. You love your dad so much, Riz, anyone can see that.”
Riz sniffles. “Thanks, Jawbone.”
Jawbone smiles where Riz can’t see, and ruffles his hair before allowing him to pull away.
“Anytime, kiddo.”
#short and sweet#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#just in case#riz gukgak#jawbone o'shaughnessey#dad feels#jawbone is a counselor and it shows#also just realized this but i he gives chocolate to riz like fucking#remus lupin#god ive stereotyped werewolves#im sorry werewolves#anyways riz is so The fucked up little guy#love him#character study#brublurbs#abuse of italics#fantasy high
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Between the walls of Ba Sing Se
Contents: Role-swap AU, verbal fights (on Zuko's part at least), Katara angst, lots of introspection, tension so thick you could cut it, mentions of the Painted Lady, Pre-relationship Zutara, Katara is mid-redemption arc, She's working in a teashop with her gran-gran.
A/N: This is an extra set in the same universe of this fic, I wanted to explore the characters more before making the decision of actually writing zutara into the fic. I appreciate constructive criticism, you can send me an ask if you want to discuss anything abt this fic.
“Playing pretend, Princess?” It hurts because he's saying it, because they both know it has truth to it, because somehow, he knows her.
Word count: 881
It's a long long way
To Ba Sing Se
But the girls in the city
They look so pretty
It’s weirdly peaceful, cathartic even, or at least as peaceful as customer service can get. Still, Katara finds herself content with this existence, this life she and her grandmother had made for themselves. She likes the tea, likes their house, likes the pai-sho, and if she ever needs a little more adrenaline, she has The Painted Lady.
But then he comes along, rattles her peace, shakes her to her very core; that ruthless reminder of her every mistake.
And she’s so unlucky, because out of all the Avatar's friends, Zuko is the one who isn’t afraid to go toe to toe with her. Sure, his sister had the raw power, but he had the technique, the balance, and the knowledge of… well her.
“Playing pretend, Princess?” It hurts because he's saying it, because they both know it has truth to it, because somehow, he knows her. And she doesn’t know how to answer, not anymore. She looks away, outside the alleyway behind the shop, upwards towards the sky, anywhere but his amber eyes.
“I'm not a princess anymore.” She says, only because she realizes he's waiting for her answer, sizing her up, determining If she’s a threat to be dealt with. She glances at the Dao on his back and wishes she had the courage to learn something like that, she wonders where he did.
“Oh? What are you, then?” There’s so much venom in his words, so much hatred, and she’s just starting to realize that she does deserve that, she has caused him nothing but suffering… And once again she can’t answer him, because of his hate, or was it her own hate? It poisons her veins, clogs her throat. And because she doesn’t know it just yet. Who is she if not Princess Katara of the Southern Tribe? Who was she then? Who is she now?
She leans further into the shadows of the alley, hoping they engulf her, wanting to run, but unable to run from his burning embers. “I don’t know…” She admits in a whisper, hoping he doesn’t hear it, hoping he leaves.
“Really? Because I could have sworn someone called you by Kya today, is that a new trick of yours?” And that she can’t stand. She steps forward, fists curling and posture changing so fast that Zuko, despite himself, is taken aback, and raises a hand to his sword hilt.
“Don’t say that name like that!” She bites. “You can spit my name with as much poison as you want, but not that one! Don’t come again. Leave me alone!”
She’s back inside the teashop, fast as a tidal wave.
Zuko stands there, hand firmly gripping his dao, for a good few seconds before his body finally allows itself to relax; he exhales slowly and leaves the alleyway, and he ignores his shaky hands, ignores how the girl he’s used to focus all his hate on had looked so… fragile.
He can handle her being a threat, he can handle all the scars and scratches she’s given him, that he’s given her, but he can’t handle the hurt in her eyes, he can’t afford to let his empathy get the best of him, not during war. He can’t let his guard down.
And yet… Once he finds his way back to the upper ring he finds himself slipping into the brooding and introspective manners he often does whenever he's shaken by something.
So he trains.
This is a newer habit, one that came after they started their journey. Now he trains every time he has a particularly harsh dilemma, and during those training sessions he makes sure that the moon is his only companion. In this particular situation though, the moonlight distracts him, because it also reminds him of her.
She’s stronger under the veil of the night, every waterbender is, but she especially is a fearsome thing to behold. He wondered how long it’s been since she could bend in the open, he wondered how it would feel to have to hide such an integral part of oneself.
Zuko has always been a little jealous of her when it came to bending; she had training, experience, she was a fully realized master. All he had was the partial teachings of his uncle, who was often busy running their village and a week of class back when they stayed with Hama, everything else was him improvising, adapting, and pushing forward because he had to. His bending was solely for survival, hers was for fighting, that he had managed to hold his own against her so many times before was a miracle.
And to see such foe so utterly lost, it moved something deep within him, something he couldn’t quite place. He echoed her confusion with each fiery punch and kick of his own, then with each swing of his swords.
Zuko trained until his muscles were sore and his mind was somewhat clear. It was well past one in the morning when he finally sat down near a water fountain, breathing heavily. He didn’t really have a conclusion for his dilemmas.
But he thought he could really go for some tea in the morning.
#asks open#fanfic writing#zutara#atla#midnight writes#zutara au#zutara fanfiction#atla reversed roles#ba sing se#ba sing se zutara#the painted lady#zuko x katara#redemption arc#katara angst#character study#katara#zuko#multishipper
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The RalsAlmanac, Volume I
Okay, here it is! A series of essays that will attempt to definitively explain just who or what Ralsei is, referring to scenes from the game as evidence, as well as external sources where appropriate.
There will be some conjecture, as there's just so much we don't know about him, and what little we are given isn't exactly the most revealing. However, I've done my best to cleave as closely to the source material as I can, and I believe there's a strong case to be had here.
Hopefully you'll be able to see where my points come from, or at the very least you'll learn something you didn't know before. Either way, thanks for your consideration!
Volume I - Ralsei Is A Character In A Role-Playing Game.
Self-indulgent reference out of the way, lemme ask you a question.
Who is Ralsei?
It's a question that seems like it should be easy to answer. He's the Prince From The Dark, the third of the three Delta Warriors, he exists to serve the lightners, and is the most precious little cinnamon roll that ever lived. He enjoys baking and crochet, can hold a tune, is a decent interior-decorator, and holds his friends Kris and Susie in very high regard.
Thing is, that's about all you can really say about him without veering into speculation and headcanons, and they're more surface-level observations than anything else. What exactly does "Prince From The Dark" mean, for instance? Prince in what sense, exactly? Ceremonial, or with the actual power that royalty conveys? Where does he rank in comparison to, say, King or Queen, both actual rulers of actual kingdoms? The title of "prince" would suggest that he answers to them, but while they rule their own municipalities, Ralsei's title implies he rules over ALL dark worlds. You could go on asking these questions forever, but I think you see what I'm getting at.
A more productive avenue of questioning might be: What role does Ralsei play in the story of Deltarune? Perhaps more of his underlying character and motivation could be gleaned by looking at what he does for the story and the game. And this would be correct... sort of.
We tend to think of him as the squishy healer of the party, the Heart and moral centre of the Fun Gang. And he absolutely is that, but he's also quite a bit more. He plays all sorts of different roles and character archetypes in the first two chapters of the game, including but not limited to:
the old man whose purpose is to wax poetic about the ancient prophecy...
the know-it-all tutorial fairy who walks you through the basic game mechanics...
the straight-man DM trying to keep everything on the rails...
the young sheltered noble experiencing the outside world for the first time...
the demure love-interest to the main protagonist...
the Polyanna determined to see the good in everybody...
the mysterious waif who knows things he shouldn't...
...eye candy…?
...and so on and so forth.
And so what, I hear you cry. Characters in video games can have more than one personality trait, after all. And yes, this is true! But usually, the different aspects of a character's roles, how they interact with, reinforce or contradict each other, can tell us more about their inner world - what motivates them, what they actively like and dislike... in short, it grants them depth and allows us to engage with them as actual people, rather than just a series of game functions and character traits dressed up in a pretty bow.
But that's not what we see with Ralsei. In fact, far from showing us any real, deep aspect of his character, each new guise he dons and part he plays in the narrative further obfuscates him from us. We learn no new meaningful information from any of these exchanges... except for one thing, but we'll come to that in a moment.
This vexes us, because we WANT to know more about him, but all we end up getting is stock JRPG tropes dressed up in a warm, fluffy coat. There HAS to be something deeper, we reason - he's hiding things from us, so he must be a secret villain. Or his backstory is so tragic, so traumatising, that he cannot properly articulate it to us right now. Or maybe what we see really IS what we get - a simpering, airheaded fool whose only desires in life are to be cute, please his betters and do what he's told. Yet even this explanation seems... unsatisfying, especially since we KNOW he harbours some angst about himself and his sense of identity.
And speaking of which, that one thing we learn? Right at the end of Chapter 2's Acid Tunnel sequence, he utters a single sentence:
This is arguably one of the most significant lines of dialogue in the entire game up to this point. But what does it mean, exactly? I believe most people assume it means he doesn't have a clear sense of who he is outside of his ordained purpose, which is certainly valid, and definitely something I believed for a long time. And yet, this explanation does not deepen our understanding of his character in any meaningful way; looking back over all his interactions with the cast, it does not allow us to glean any further information about him.
And you can say that's because he himself doesn't know what he's like... but again, this doesn't actually change anything, and we just end up with a circular logic trap. We don't know anything because he doesn't tell us anything, and he doesn't tell us anything because he doesn't know anything, so how can we be expected to know anything, except that no-one seems to know anything about him… which is very frustrating to us Ralsei scholars, and gets us no closer to truly understanding him.
But look at what he says again. Really look at it. It’s a very strange way of saying “I don’t really know who I am”, isn’t it? After all, if that’s what he means, then why doesn’t he just say that? I’m certain you’ve realised by now, but it’s because that’s NOT what he’s saying at all. He literally has no clue what being “himself” is supposed to be, because he wasn’t even created with a sense of “Ralsei-ness” in the first place. Little wonder, then, that we can’t discern anything about his internal world, when there is nothing there to be discerned.
But before I elaborate any further, I want to talk about a couple of scenes in Deltarune that are just... puzzling. This is relevant, I promise. The first is during the dialogue with Rouxls Kaard before the rematch with K.Round. Ralsei says something interesting in the lead-up to the fight:
Note Susie’s baffled reaction to this. Then not long afterwards, he continues with:
Throwaway joke, right? We laugh because Susie's right - K. Round and its crown do look exactly the same to us, and so Ralsei's dramatic utterances are deflated and lose their impact. We laugh, beat the boss with Susie's help and forget all about it. But here's the thing - if K.Round looks the same to us, and it looks the same to Susie, and presumably by extension the rest of the in-game characters... when why exactly does Ralsei take the time to insist otherwise?
Is he... lying? Our most precious little boy, guilty of perjury? Say it ain't so! :O
The second scene is in chapter 2 - Queen has challenged us to a game of Punch-Out on her absurdly tall arcade machine, and we can talk to the characters before trying to interact with it. Talk to Ralsei, and if you answer "Gaming is my life" to his prompt, he says this:
Most people don't even come across this in their playthrough, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's new to you reading this. But again, note this strange discrepancy between what Ralsei reports is happening and what Susie says is actually happening. It becomes apparent to most people that Kris can affect the tone of their voice when saying what we tell them to, which affects how the response is taken by other characters and gives us a subtle clue about how they actually feel about certain characters or situations.
Are we to assume, then, that Ralsei isn't actually listening to how Kris says things, but only what they're saying? And if that's correct, then... what does that say about him?
Taken at face-value, within the context of the game, neither of these events really make much sense. It just looks like Ralsei is being overly-dramatic, or lying, or perhaps even insensitive to what their friend is trying to tell him, which doesn't quite track with his per-established shallow traits of kind, all-loving and moralistic. It's perplexing and seemingly out-of-character for him. So it might help to consider, in each of these scenarios, who exactly Ralsei is talking to.
Is it Kris and/or Susie? This would make the most sense, but it's actually not that likely, considering the aforementioned discrepencies between his descriptions and Susie's observations. So is it himself? Again, if he can see things the same as everyone else in-game, that wouldn't make much sense, because then he's just saying stuff that... isn't true? Or in the latter example's case, just completely ignoring what Kris is saying, which doesn't seem to entirely gel with what we know about him.
So, who does that leave? Well, the only other person - or should I say entity - who is present for both of those scenes is... us. The player of Deltarune. And that might seem even stranger than the previous options, until you realise what it is he's actually doing - providing flavour text, additional exposition informing us of details that we wouldn't - or shouldn't - be able to make out on a pixelated display with no voice-acting, attempting to give us a richer sense of these events in order to increase our sense of immersion in the game and world of Deltarune. In effect, he's playing the part of a character in a role playing game, doling out “flavour text” that contradicts another character’s experience of the same scenes, and he's doing it entirely for OUR benefit. Not Kris’s, not Susie's – ours.
He tells us that K.Round's crown is different, and that it is in pain from its forced control, to try and increase the stakes of the fight, and to give us a motivation that's not "here's the exact same boss again lul". He responds to Kris's words the way he does, not because he doesn't understand the nuances of their tone, but to try and amp us up for the upcoming challenge, and to validate our choice when we select the dialogue option "Gaming is my life". Because we cannot hear Kris's tone of voice - and Ralsei knows that. To him, Kris's tone literally doesn't matter, because he doesn't believe it matters to us in that exact moment.
And here’s the thing: if not for Susie’s asides immediately contradicting him, we’d likely take what he says here as what’s actually going on. To Ralsei, the reality he and his friends experience is not important – it’s the image of that reality that he’s trying to convey to the player. It’s like he knows he’s part of a game, meant just for us to experience and enjoy, as opposed to a real world filled with real people having real experiences.
And the reason I brought this up is to illustrate what I believe Ralsei to actually be - namely, that he a walking, talking, singing and dancing amalgam of stock JRPG characters and tropes that's trying very hard to present as an actual person, to the point of knowing absolutely nothing about who he even is outside of that. Put in even blunter terms, he's literally a fluffy goat-shaped vehicle to set the player on their journey through the game, to keep them playing and to keep them invested. People looking for deeper aspects of his character come up short and are disappointed because they're looking for something that does not currently exist.
And just so that I'm clear, I do not mean that Ralsei is "acting", or that he's "wearing a mask", because that would imply that there was actually something underneath his "facade" to begin with. No, this is who the Prince of the Dark is - a very convincing fascimile of a person, following his directive to ensure that the story of Deltarune is resolved, and that the game of Deltarune is played to completion. And once you realise that, a lot of things that Ralsei says and does that seemed strange before suddenly make a lot more sense.
As for the why... well, that'll have to wait for another time. But hopefully you can begin to see how my future essays in this series all tie in to this one, because I think you can only really understand those with the framework that this text provides. I hope that my reasoning made sense and wasn't too difficult to follow, but I'll be happy to provide additional information, clarification, or even just discussion on any aspect of this essay... even if we just wind up (respectfully) agreeing to disagree. Would love to hear what people thought about this!
Thanks for reading!
#Writing#essay#analysis#theory#Deltarune#Ralsei#character study#The RalsAlmanac#deltarune chapter 1#deltarune chapter 2#essay collection
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Observing Adam
Where I go way too deep into something that probably isn't that deep. It's long, it's long as hell.
Okay, so you'd think with how Adam talks he's just a typical misogynist, right?
This man worships pussy. So much so, he's named a whole ass angel, one of his best, Vagina. You'd say that he objectifies them and thinks of them as being lesser, but I don't think that's the whole story. In fact, I think he might be the original simp.
All of these exorcists so far have been women. All of them. He refers to them as ladies or bitches interchangeably, he sees them as being completely capable of absolutely decimating leagues of some of the most vile beings who have ever existed, and they have, to the point it was only after thousands of years that there's been a risk to this hierarchy.
He's a self-centered, egotistical, loud-mouthed, arrogant asshole, no doubt about it, but I'm beginning to suspect something now.
If Adam and Lilith were created from the same dust, if they were created as equals, I am more than willing to bet...
Lilith is also a self-centered, egotistical, arrogant asshole. But, she's likely far more intelligent, composed, and duplicitous.
Lilith was allowed to refuse Adam and leave of her own free will and garnered her own independence. A new wife was created for Adam, she was replaced. My guess, is she thought Adam wouldn't be able to live without her, to come back and find herself replaced entirely, she was enraged.
I believe both Adam and Lilith were both incredibly dominant individuals who fought over ideas, thoughts, and ultimately in the bedroom as well, if we take into account the creationist stories.
I'm willing to bet she likely manipulated Lucifer into twisting humanity against its original concept. What if Lucifer's intention truly was to just spark something within Eve, like independence and thought and creation, but it was Lilith's poison within the fruit that tainted her, then subsequently Adam, with sin.
Lilith thrived in hell, while Lucifer's dreams of creation were dashed. She didn't suffer as he did, instead the power of her voice grew with hell. Her voice grew so powerful that heaven found it to be a threat, her actions instigated the beginning of exterminations.
Charlie said that when she was a little girl, she didn't know Lucifer at all. I don't think this was because of Lucifer, he's seen here, picking her up, inviting her to share in his thoughts and dreams, showing her something wonderful. Something she could see within herself.
Charlie says that it's this moment that sparked her will to fight for her dreams. Which is strange, because at the very beginning of the story, Charlie says it was her mother's dream that was passed down to her.
Lilith took Charlie away. In this scene, Lucifer wasn't done showing Charlie his thoughts and dreams, he's still yearning to show his daughter these things at this point.
Lucifer loves his daughter. He loves Charlie so, so, so much. So why wasn't he allowed to build a relationship with his daughter for the longest time? He was waiting for the opportunity to get to know her, but with how much he adores her why didn't he do it sooner?
He didn't comment on 'It took you a while-' he just said he missed her smile.
They don't want to be pulled apart, again.
Now, we know Vivziepop has said that Lucifer and Lilith love each other, but Lilith 'wears the pants' in the relationship. We see all of the pictures all over the walls of a supposedly happy family.
I don't think the relationship was as loving as originally portrayed and Lilith is a woman who desires control above all else. She likely tried to mitigate what influence Lucifer had over their daughter when she thought his angelic thoughts and behaviors became more than what she approved of.
Lets take it back to Adam and Lute for a moment. Again, Adam is a loud mouthed idiot, he's a jerk. The moment he realizes there are demons in heaven, he's ready to go on the attack. It's only because of Lute that he didn't end up doing something absolutely idiotic.
I gotta say, Lute and Adam's relationship is an absolutely fascinating one. He's a disrespectful dick head in how he talks, but how he acts is a different story. He allows Lute to man-handle him. He does listen to her, even if he's a whiny bitch about it.
Look at him, this is the face of a man listening, a dumb one, but a dude listening all the same. He doesn't manhandle her back, he doesn't even pull away until she lets go of his collar. Of all the shit he complained about, between being grabbed and being told what to do, his biggest complaint is that she's telling him to shush.
We know that Adam is the one who suggested the exterminations to begin with, so Sera says, and this was because of the power that Lilith was amassing. To him, Lilith is a threat. Even when he was willing to move on, to go to another wife when Lilith didn't want him or want to submit to him (fair babe, he's a bit of an idiot), she came back with an angel and proceeded to manipulate his new wife Eve.
This is the supposed progenitor of man-kind, the original dick (hilariously enough), the reason civilization even exists at all. He and Eve had to fight for their lives after being tempted with the fruit. They had immortality, they had no ideas of shame, they were supposedly 'innocent' creatures before Lilith and Lucifer came along.
He and Eve had to fight tooth and nail to survive after being cast from Eden. I think it shows in how willing and ready he is to take lead and do what he believes needs to be done, now out of a need for entertainment rather than a need to defend or protect. But, he still stopped to listen to Lute's advice.
In the mythological story of Adam and Eve, Adam is the one who has to tell Eve that god said don't eat the fruit. Eve never heard god speak to her, so she was vulnerable to the snake's manipulations. She will now die because she ate it, and because she did not want Adam to take another wife, convinced him to eat it unknowingly. Funnily enough, Adam tried to explain to god that 'she lied to me and gave me the fruit' and in this actual mythology, Adam was punished for listening to his wife.
Even without mentioning Lilith in the original mythology, Eve didn't want Adam to take another wife, so when we consider it within the context of Hazbin Hotel, it may be likely that's how it went down. Eve knew of Lilith, knew that she could be replaced, and decided that she would take Adam with her.
I believe that Adam does and did rely on the women in his life to help him with direction. I think Adam knows he can be an idiot and is willing to listen, even if he doesn't agree with what he's hearing. He did listen to Charlie in the beginning, he just didn't believe in her, like everyone else and he, out of anyone there, probably had the most reason not to.
Cain and Abel were his and Eve's sons, his own child became the first murderer. Out of jealousy, the same kind of jealousy that no doubt has caused Lilith to act how she did.
Adam isn't going to have empathy for sinners. His family, his legacy, were filled with the original sinners. He probably had to kill his son Cain in hell during the first exterminations. What do you think he would have had to feel, if it came to be a fact that sinners could be redeemed? That maybe his son, could've been redeemed? Or any of his progeny for that matter? How did it feel when his sons, his progeny, weren't given the same mercy as the Hellborn that Lucifer managed to keep protected through some deal with the angels or god?
Not to mention that Charlie could've been his daughter. Charlie is the product of the people who completely and totally destroyed the paradise he'd been born into. She's the daughter who is protected and immune from the slaughter while all of his sons and daughters are judged and killed. I believe, even though he was a dickish prankster to Charlie, he was surprisingly patient and even somewhat amicable, willing to even ask her how her weekend was like he was just trying to get to know her.
Adam could just see all of the angels under his employ as being disposable. He doesn't have to name them, or think about them in any individual fashion. But, he knows Vaggie, recognized her instantly. Thought she was badass.
Lute's the one who saw her, tore her wings off, and walked away. I'm surprised they even let her live, because this just goes against everything they're doing. They're an army and they saw one of their own showing empathy to the enemy.
Look at this dumb ass. He's being a shit-head, a dick, a bastard. But, he admires Vaggie's ability to pull Charlie, congratulates her, this dude isn't even judging her for being a lesbian. I don't think it's because he objectifies women, this dude loves women, he just does. He respects fellow vagina lovers.
I don't think he respects liars in the slightest though. He's being underhanded, he's trying to be manipulative (he's not very good at it). I think he's brutally open and honest about everything and that's probably one of the reasons he's such a bastard anyways, because sometimes you just need to shut-up and he's not good at that.
I don't think he respects Sera for that either, he's more than willing to let others know what the hell he's doing, but under Sera's lead, he can't be open about it. I don't think it's his jam to act this way, it's why he sucks so bad at it and I think that's why Lilith is so antithetical to him. I also think that's why he's possibly even being manipulated.
It's kind of crazy that Adam is the only one who tries to come up with what allows someone to get into heaven. So here's his list:
1. Act Selfless: Maybe at one point he was! He had to have been, to be one of the progenitors of mankind, he would have had to work, sacrifice, and give to his wife and children for them all to survive. Eve would have had to do the same, no doubt. He may not seem selfless, due to his raunchy behavior, but he's served heaven since he's been there. He's served humanity in some kind of facet.
2. Don't Steal: Considering the only other humans are his spawn, he likely had to try and get them to not steal from one another for them all to have an equal opportunity of survival. He and Eve likely both knew they would need to work together to survive.
3. Stick it to the man: This, however, is interesting. Who is 'The Man' he speaks of? God? The only other people over him or were equal to him were women. He speaks like a rocker, and I think in this case he's using the term 'The Man' in a gender neutral way. I think he allowed some amount of Authority to Lilith when they were supposed to be seen as equals, it comes so naturally to him as a character when it comes to the other women he's been interacting with. I think she is the 'man' that he's been sticking it to- Pun somewhat intended.
((This third one may also simply be a tongue in cheek reference to when Alex Brightman played Dewey in School of Rock on Broadway! Thank you to the user who brought this to my attention!))
Adam is a bit of a hypocrite, isn't he? He likes to fuck, he's made that abundantly clear. Full of lust you could say. It was his original purpose after all, and he is judging Angel Dust for something he probably would've done himself at one point or has considered doing (maybe not the having sex with men part). Angel Dust does all of these things, Adam doesn't even deny it. He even looks nervous. He's angry, but doesn't deny that Angel has done those things. He doesn't explain it away or try to lie or move the goal posts, he's just asking what is an actually very valid question.
Why isn't Angel Dust there if he can do things equal to what Adam himself hasn't done? Serenity continues that line of thought. It isn't until Charlie is realizing no one knows what it takes to get into heaven.
Adam is more than willing to let Lute take the lead here, he's willing to give her the stage to clap back, he's giving her back-up antics. By all means, they could be pushing and fighting one another, there could easily be body language expressing something other than their general comfort around one another. They aren't fighting for a spotlight like you'd expect Adam to try and do considering his egotistical attitude.
Adam fucking sucks at keeping his mouth shut and he sucks at lying. He nearly blew the secret out of the bag once, this time, Sera is the only one who tries to stop him and to be honest? Lute looks a bit too thrilled at it. He knows he fucked up, but he doesn't think it's a big deal that anyone would know. For fucks sake, they've already condemned souls, his progeny, to suffer. What's the big deal if he kills them?
I have to re-iterate what's happening here. Charlie is proud she caused this chaos, that she caused these angels to fight amongst themselves, even if in this case it's a good thing. But, this is like history repeating itself to Adam, the reflection of his ex-wife, entering his domain, causing strife among his people, being happy about it.
And the venom he expresses when it comes to the 'liar' portion, god Alex Brightman destroyed when he got to this portion specifically. There is some vehement disgust in his tone when he says liar.
Adam isn't a good person now. But, I think he used to be a good person. By all means, Adam himself could've been the first murderer when his wife made her mistake. He, at one point in time, had to have been good enough to foster civilization itself with Eve. Both good and bad.
Adam's original purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Ordained by god (or maybe just angels) himself, divine power directed and created him to fuck. He didn't chase his ex-wife down, he was given a new one, Lilith was allowed to leave. When he left things alone, when he tried to move on, his ex-wife and a scorned angel destroyed the paradise he was in with Eve. He had to struggle and toil, he had to feel shame in his own body. He had to find out his first born son was the first murderer. His second son killed. We don't know if this is going to be canon in the story, a lot has changed, and if Adam is the first soul who reached heaven, then what did happen to Abel? Was Abel considered a sinner? Or did Cain kill Abel after Adam had passed?
Either way, he had to witness his children kill, he had to watch his descendants behave in a range from saints and monsters. He's seen genocides, he's seen famine, war. Adam is desensitized to the plights of his descendants. Maybe he even saw it as a duty to cleanse the universe of their existence at one point, because they were his responsibility.
At the end of this episode, he is properly scolded by Sera and does seem ashamed of himself. He isn't huffy, he is reminded that he should be ashamed of acting that way.
I love Lute's enthusiasm, she's absolutely brutal when talking about Vaggie and with how she handled Vaggie. I think it's funny that Lute is so brutal she's even made Adam uncomfortable.
It's cute that he's made uncomfortable by the excitement and all he does is tell Lute, the premier hype woman over here, to chill. She's so proud of herself too, look at her.
He fully expects these exorcist bad bitches to go in there and fuck shit up. But, you know it's hilarious that he's throwing horns? This dude, this angel. First human soul in heaven, loving rock n' roll, the devil's music, and throwing motherfucking horns. It's poetic really. I think we can probably assume where things are going.
Now, this is the first point we've seen Adam being a real piece of shit to Lute. I don't think Adam likes it when people think he's too dumb to notice something, especially something so damn obvious. This is such a drastic moment of vitriolic, uncontrolled anger directed towards Lute.
Adam knows he isn't the brightest tool in the shed. He likely knows he's obtuse and misses shit. It's why he sucks at lying, he knows he's not smart. That is why I think he's afforded women opportunities to direct him without fighting back against their advice and their choices. I'm sure Lilith made it obvious how dumb she thinks Adam is. I'm wondering if this might be where their ground breaking fight might've come from. Who's to say he didn't allow Lilith to take the lead, or listen to her like he's done with Lute here and now? Perhaps to an even greater point? He listened to Eve and ate from the fruit of knowledge and he was punished for it. Being seen as so dumb he can't formulate a simple fact is a sore spot for him.
Adam is incredibly powerful. It took a bit out of him to exercise that power, probably because he's out of practice just like Lucifer said. At one point, he probably wasn't so sloppy and weak willed. He's gotten lazy. Sloth like.
I think it got real personal here. How viscerally and personally he attacked Charlie. No one but Charlie truly thought sinners could be redeemed, or that they were even worth it. Not even one of the original sinners. Maybe he never considered the possibility, maybe what happened really did make him see the world as black and white to cope with that happened to him, his wife, his children.
Charlie's desire to fight this idea would destroy the foundation for all of his coping through the years. He stopped seeing them as family, even though he's grandiose about his founding role in humanity. Does that itch the guilt that may lurk under the surface?
I don't think Adam thought much of Charlie at all. I don't think he had any intention of coming to kill her in the beginning, despite seeing her, despite who her parents were.
But, I think with the constant push, with how eager she was to disrupt the pre-conceived idea of order, it reminded Adam and reflected her parents so much, he was eager to kill her for revenge against them. I think this electrical interference on the mask is a direct reflection of sin. Namely, wrath, in this moment.
Now, this. THIS. Is something that made me want to write this whole fucking essay. Is Lucifer implying that he not only gave Eve the Fruit from the tree of knowledge, but FUCKED HER TOO? Homies, I'm sorry but holy shit. That is some hydrating tea. I'd be pretty pissed too, fucked over twice by women who were supposed to be literal soul mates, who you were made for, who were made for you?
I knew he would have a goatee, I could almost hear it. I gotta say, I'm a sucker for how he looks. I think he's hot. He is a bastard, but so are a lot of the hot dudes in this show. It's just a theme.
This exact series of lines prompted so many of the thoughts that I had about Adam and why he thinks or acts the way he does. At one point, Adam did have to work himself to the bone and learn to survive from scratch alongside Eve. He isn't entirely without cause to not think that he deserves some respect or recognition from his descendants.
But, that doesn't give him the right to act like god himself. It's... well... Blasphemous. Isn't it? One of the worst sins is to think yourself to be worthy of worship, as if you're a god.
This is the moment that gave me empathy for them both. You could probably see the kind of loving person Adam could have been at one point with how he looks at Lute, even as he's laying there, dying. He's not crying like a bitch, just looking at Lute softly. Lute screaming for him, screaming his name. They cared for each other deeply.
And this... and this.... and this.
WHAT DEAL DID YOU MAKE, LILITH?
Did you make it with Sera? Did you make it with Adam? Did you make it with Lute? Did you really just want a little 'vacay' away from the hell you helped create?
Left her husband, depressed and lonely. Left her daughter without any care or guidance. Maybe Alastor was sent in her place, perhaps? Seven years since he was seen after all, but why wouldn't he show up sooner if Lilith did care?
Did she make a deal with Lute and Adam? Did she let Adam smash it so she could stay in heaven? Did Lute let her stay in exchange for getting Adam out of a position of power? Or was it maybe Sera who commissioned Lilith with a deal?
Either way, I'm in full belief that it wasn't Adam's idea to move the extermination day up. I think he's a patsy, a scapegoat. I think Lute may have been manipulated, potentially, into manipulating Adam into this position. Was it even really Adam who came up with the idea to do the exterminations? Or was he the one who simply decided to fight originally because he was told heaven was at risk due to Lilith's rising power?
The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions. I think it could be any number of these.
Either way, Lute certainly does think she had authority over Lilith. Is it Lute just having hubris? Or is Lilith truly bound, just like Alastor, Husk, and Angel Dust?
Of course, now that we know a soul can be redeemed... and we certainly know that angels can fall. I don't think this will be the last we see of Adam.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#adam hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#eve hazbin hotel#lilith hazbin hotel#lilith morningstar#character study
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I think a thing that people get wrong about Jason's anger is that it's not explosive.
It's cold. Jason isn't the type of person who storms off at every little thing or goes throwing tantrums and setting things on fire blindfully.
He's the type of person who's very practical. He keeps to himself, always. You rarely see issues where Jason's anger is reactive at the moment where the trigger happens to him. If you see his character up close, most of the time when he's triggered his reaction is calm. Even cold.
He gets triggered -> He keeps to himself → He makes a plan → And then he reacts.
Jason's anger being something explosive and out of character and out of place is actually how other people (characters) see it, because they have no idea on how it's playing out on Jason's head.
And that's a thing you can see operating since he was a child.
Where the only exceptions about this effect is either when someone he believes needs his help is involved.
See Nightwing Annual (2021)
But In Batman #411 when Jason learns the fact that Two-Face was responsible for his father's death and Bruce was keeping that from him as a secret his first reaction isn't to blow up on him.
Was to seethe.
Bruce goes up home after dealing with a Two-Face case (in my field we call that poetic irony) and asks Alfred where Jason is, Alfred's answer is that he's been sleeping all day (which is a conclusion that Alfred drew probably after going to check on Jason and seeing him in fact on his bed all day).
But when you see the next panel, even though he is on the bed, He's fully awake and both his expression and his body language shows that he's in fact angry.
This is the first time he appears again in the comics after learning that Two Face killed his dad.
Jason doesn't go towards Bruce immediately to demand an explanation or ask why he did this, or even to throw the truth on his face.
(Which could be debatable that that's something the Dick would usually do, but I'm not that literate on Dick's comics)
His reaction wasn't immediate.
His reaction was to go to his bed and stay quiet. Jason stayed calm and collected the whole trip until meeting Two Face again.
But the moment Jason as Robin has the opportunity to get his hands on Two-Face he does this
From Bruce, and maybe Alfred's perspective it could be interpreted as out of place or him storming off.
But it isn't. Jason was able to keep his cool (even though he shut off), until he was face a face to Two Face.
Does that mean he planned that to happen?
That's debatable, in any moment of this issue it is shown that Jason was actually planning to get to Two Face and do this. I my personal opinion, other and much more plausible explanation is: That he was in fact trying to keep to himself but couldn't hold back the moment that he saw his dad's murder.
You can see the same thing happening as Jason learns that Batman got another Robin in Red Hood: Lost Days.
Talia asks "You all right?" and Jason's first answer is "Sure Why Wouldn't I Be Alright?"
When he's alone he finally has the moment to break down.
(Actually both Red Hood: The lost days and Batman: Under the Red Hood are great case studies on how that usually play out on Jason's head.)
Jason is way more in control of his emotions than people ever give him credit for. The thing is that Jason holds it back until he either blows off or is capable to throw it back in someone's face.
#I didn't finish not even half of my thoughts in here but I'm going to publish it before it gets drag in my 182828383 drafts#if you disagree lets fist fight at six am#jason todd#q rambles#character study#writing Jason Todd#← this is not a guide this is literally the tag I use to organize things#q screams at the void#q rants
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Remus doesn’t thinks he’s hot as fuck because he isn’t his own type. His type is pretty boys with light eyes and devilish grins. He is a giant with no coordination and a pension for grandpa sweaters. This is why he’s immediately attracted to Sirius. Even Regulus and Barty trip him up once in awhile. Remus Lupin has a fucking type, okay.
James, on the other hand, is attracted to personality and vibes. His type is mean, a nice smile, and long fingers. This is why he knows he’s fucking hot, because his vibes are immaculate. This is also why he’s had a crush on Sirius, Remus, Lily, Regulus, Dorcas, Frank, and Marlene.
They’re both messes.
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Harrow actually just being a scared teenager who lost her only friend...
When you start HtN, Harrow's mysterious plan seems so intricate and elaborate - 22 letters, and all those guidelines and rules -the favor of the chain, the sewn tongue.
But then when you get to the end, the whole thing boils down to just...
Step 1. Hit Pause on the Absorption Process
Steps 2a-2v Hide the Remote and kill anyone who approaches the hiding spot so no one can ever accidentally hit play.
And that's fucking it.
There's no Step 3 where she works out a way to remove Gideon and see/free her. And I mean, there's not even an instruction to come up with some kind of step 3 eventually. She knows her life will be myriads, but can't even imagine anything beyond "don't absorb her" should even exist.
Abigail & Magnus are spot on when they say she made herself a Mausoleum.
Because in spite of her aptitude and scholarship and obsessive paranoia, she's actually just a traumatized, grief-stricken teenager. Her plan was impulsive and emotional. She saw the looming threat of Griddle's soul being destroyed, and the pain that would crush her when the shock wore off, so she slammed the brakes and ran off.
#harrowhark nonagesimus#tlt#griddlehark#harrow the ninth#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#gtn spoilers#harrowhark#character study
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Kallamar the Coward, Pt 2: Famine and Pestilence
Expanding on my previous Kallamar headcanon, I wanted to go more in depth on these two, particularly because of how often I see fanon treat their relationship as kind of one note (IE "Heket is the strong girlboss and Kallamar is the wimp so lets see her push him around and bully him cuz it's funny har har har").
It's easy to presume that after the sealing of The One Who Waits and the Bishops' injuries, Heket took over as "leader" of the Old Faith, being the one to take charge in meetings and sermons, speaking first despite her injuries, commanding the others, and being especially mindful and doting of Shamura and concerned over their mental state.
Heket isn't particularly strong. She's only a bit stronger than Leshy. In fact, by the time you reach her, it's pretty easy for your Cult to have grown enough that she's practically a pushover compared to how limited you are when you only have Darkwood and the starting Cult facilities available to you.
The second youngest ended up being promoted to a parental figure, due to the eldest being in no state to lead, and the second eldest having evidently broken down from the stress and nobody acknowledging he had his own trauma despite how "light" his injuries were compared to everyone else.
I think Heket's view of her elder brother would have definitely been damaged after she was forced to step up due to her failings. But even then... I think she does care about him. Unlike how instantly ready Narinder and even Shamura are to criticize Kallamar, and unlike how the common fanon portrayal is ready to have all of the bishops tear Kallamar apart for the sake of the joke of him being a flat character, Heket never directly insults him. At most she's pushy and commanding and hard on him.
I'd like to think she wants him to help again. To get out of whatever funk he's in and be the responsible one that took care of her and Leshy and Shamura at the start. So she pushes, tries to get him to take charge. She knows her own weakness even if she won't admit it. She wants, needs him to be the Bishop she knows he can be, knows he used to be. Even in his cowardice and unwillingness to move she still has him as the second in command and wants him to work together with her to manage the Old Faith and, once the game happens, deal with the Lamb.
But dealing with trauma isn't as easy as just giving the victim a "push" to try to make them get over it. Heket is tragically unaware that if anything, her trying to force Kallamar out of his comfort zone might actually be making things worse, making him recede deeper and deeper into his anxieties, failures, and resentment.
Just look at how doting Heket always is towards Shamura. Even after all that's happened (even after everything was Shamura's fault it was their fault all their fault everyone is like this now), Heket looks up to Shamura the most, follows along everything they say, tries to do what she thinks will make Shamura proud. Even when Shamura hasn't even tried to hide that Narinder the traitor is and always will be their favorite!! How could Heket still care about Shamura? How come she's never showed any of that concern for him? Why does he have to be strong and tough it out all the time just because he's the elder and "only" lost his ears?
Kallamar resents Shamura, potentially even sincerely hates them because of everything. But Heket? Heket hurt Kallamar in a way she doesn't even realize. Really, they hurt each other. Not to the extent Narinder did to all of them, but unlike what Narinder did, these wounds are invisible.
It's tragic what brother and sister have been left to. Heket would never openly call Kallamar a coward or failure like the others, but she's clearly disappointed in her senior falling apart when everyone needed him most. Kallamar cares enough to still be by her side whenever she asks, but resents her for always pushing him around, and for the favoritism she shows towards Shamura despite all that he's done never openly being acknowledged. On the one hand, he's ready to criticize her leadership abilities behind her back (such as when chatting with the Lamb). On the other, once his little sister is dead (SHAMURA'S FAULT ALL THEIR FAULT AGAIN) he's immediately ready to disown and sell out Shamura. Some might say it's all to save his own skin because he knows he's next, but what if it's also because without his little siblings he doesn't have any reason to serve the Old Faith anymore?
But maybe... now that their responsibilities are gone, things can get better. Who knows, maybe one day they'll actually be able to communicate. Kallamar still holds a lot of resentment, and Heket is definitely not acclimating to the Cult well and seems to have just become a bitter, angry person to everyone around her now that she's been reduced to a mortal, but now that he's much more like his past self, I can see him trying to dote on his little siblings again. His relationship with Shamura and Narinder are probably damaged beyond ever even considering repair, but Heket? She'll always be the little frog he had to take care of while Shamura was busy playing favorites.
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I want to share some of my AziraCrow studies in case anyone finds them helpful!
✨ Reblog to help fellow artists ✨
If you find this helpful (and if you're able to) come support me on Ko-fi 💜 (you can also enter and see my stuff since everything I post there is free!)
Instagram | Ko-fi
#myart#aziracrow#go aziraphale#go crowley#ineffable spouses#ineffable husbands#good omens#good omens season 2#character study#artists on tumblr#art resources#art reference
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here's some art for a FNAF AU i've been working on that combines paternal bonding, self-consciousness, and haunted arcade cabinets.
bonus:
#FNAF#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#henry emily#charlie emily#elizabeth afton#william afton#springtrap#cassidy fnaf#golden freddy#the puppet#crying child#cc#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustration#character design#character lineup#character study#fnaf theory#fnaf au#alternate universe#fnaf fanart#fnaf art#artwork#my art
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Behind the jokes and badassness, Captain Marvel is a fascinating character to me, because of how death follows her.
She causes an explosion. That explosion, which gives her powers and her immortality, canonically kills her. The Kree Empire resurrects her and makes her as Kree as they can. She shares Yon-Rogg's blood and his life, she's his creation, she's his victim, she's the one who causes his downfall, she's the one that destroys the system, the society, the planet that allowed her to be abused.
It's the Kree that see her as a killer and Annihilator. She's a monster of their own making, but it influences every species and planet she touches. Her victories cause death and her mistakes cause more death. Carol's triumph, the death of the Supreme Intelligence, results in the death of probably millions of Kree, and by consequence, almost causes the death of Hala's star.
"I'm only human" Carol says, before killing the Empire that is the reason that she can't ever be human again.
"We'll be back for the weapon," Ronan says, but that weapon will kill everything he stands for.
"Your life began the day it nearly ended," The Supreme Intelligence says, coldly, calculatingly. It's an AI. It doesn't have a good concept of death. It doesn't fully grasp that Carol had genuinely been killed that day, because she's still in front of it. Carol kills it.
"Death seems to follow you," Dar-Benn says, before she causes an explosion with the bangles, trying to defeat Carol. The explosion kills Dar-Benn.
Death follows Carol. Death follows Carol! Mar-Vell is dead. Maria is dead. Talos is dead. Soren is dead. Ronan is dead. Minn-Erva is dead. Korath is dead. Dar-Benn is dead. Yon-Rogg is, probably, dead. The Supreme Intelligence is dead. Natasha is dead. Tony is dead.
The only people in Carol's life who aren't dead are Kamala, Monica, Yan, Valkyrie, and Fury.
She watches helplessly as Dar-Benn almost murders Kamala after Kamala tries to save Dar-Benn's life, tries to find a way to solve the violence without death.
She watches helplessly as Monica gets torn into another reality, which for all she knows, she could die in. The tear in reality that was caused by Dar-Benn's death.
She tries to hide Yan's existence from her friends and tries to warn him and his people. The Kree soldiers aren't fighting to maim, they're fighting to kill. He escapes death by his own fighting skills and the fact that the Kree would rather focus on killing Carol than him.
Valkyrie and Carol interact once, and she only calls when she needs help after a fight, not during. Think about it. Valkyrie and the Bifrost could have helped the trio enormously. But Carol doesn't call until the fights are over. It would be very easy for a regular Asgardian warrior to die compared to superhumans.
And Fury... have you seen how often Fury comes close to dying? He's alive from skill and luck. He is lucky that he isn't dead.
Captain Marvel is so, so fascinating. Her story begins with her own death, and the more it goes on, the more death happens around her. Nobody is safe. She causes almost all of them, even the ones of her friends - not directly, but through the consequences of her actions. The consequences of her victories and mistakes. The consequences of her anger and revenge, her power and powerlessness. It is caused by both the Human and Kree sides of her, by both Carol and Vers, Captain Marvel and the Annihilator.
Carol is immortal. She can't die. And death follows her anyway.
#captain marvel#carol danvers#the marvels#the marvels 2023#the marvels spoilers#marvel#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#kamala khan#monica rambeau#dar-benn#nick fury#kree species#character analysis#its my *blorbo* and *i* get to be insane about her#im going to need an avengers level security force protecting kamala from now on#yon-rogg#character study#rambling#does this make sense? no and idgaf#death mention#1k#hitposttag
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Heavy weapongs guy save me… save me… save me heavy weapons guy,,.,
(also hallooo I’m not dead :3)
#tf2#team fortress 2#art#digital art#my art#ozias draws a thing#fanart#my artwork#character drawing#heavy weapons guy#heavy#tf2 heavy#heavy tf2#tf2 fanart#character study#art study#sketch#colored sketch
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Have been a time since i had made a full post for the cartoon critters, so time to give them some love
I present to you... The Smiling Critters's Family Tree
1- Dogday & Catnap - Queen Gaia
''Everybody call her your highness, but for us, mom is just mom''
Her introduction in the cartoon is a surprise for everybody, since nobody knew Catnap & Dogday were actually sibling (even when the two refer to the other as brother, they thought it was a best friend thing), even less knew they were princes! Queen Gaia is a calm, motherly figure, but after lost her husband in a war with another kingdom, she decide to hide her two babies from the public, and when they became old enough to have a pendant, let them live with their people in hope to teach them to overcome their weakness (arrogance in Catnap and cowardice in Dogday). Her original pendant was able to move both the sun and the moon, but she divide it to let her sons the responsability (the one she have now is a fake one, something important for the season finale of the cartoon)
2-Picky & Kickin - Mr. Piggy
''Our dad is the best!'' ''No comparation needed!''
Mr. Piggy isn't a recurrent character in the cartoon, making his debut in Kickin's birthday just to tell the story of how he found a egg with legs running around his farm (all the episode is basically a retell of the poor pigman trying to catch the egg while also having her daughter in his back). He's a good apple, loving dad that enjoy spend time with his kids, been cooking something with Picky (he teach her about healthy ingredients) or going fishing with Kickin (is the only calm activity Kickin can do without get bored). The Apple pendant was originally his, while the star pendant was found by the own Kickin.
3- Bubba - Mr. and Mrs Tiny
''I'm just... A tiny Bubbaphant''
The stork made a mistake, and Bubba end up with two parents that only shared with him the big ears, but not for this the Tiny couple stop loving their son, nor Bubba stop looking at his parents as the best he could have. Their debut is subtle, and they don't have a lot of relevance in the cartoon, but is funny to see them from time to time over Bubba's head in a event.
4- Bobby - The Bearhug Family
''Don't worry! They don't bite, i teach them not to''
Yep, Bobby come from a ''wild'' family. Their debut episode talk about the differences between a ''critter'' and a ''wild'' (basically, any real animal is a wild in this cartoon), been the whole episode a explication of how Bobby become the critter she's now (and how she got her pendant).
5-Hoppy - The Hopscotch sibling
''We're a team! A team that hops together stay together!''
There's no a debut of Hoppy's parents, but it's implied that they're still alive, just really busy. Meanwhile, her sibling show up from time to time, been as background characters, or with their our episode, been two: one where Hoppy is wants to participate in a sibling deportive event and can't find the perfect harmony with any of her sibling ('cause none of them are as sporty as her), and one where she need to babysit Huppy, but the lil' troublemaker end up causing troubles for all the critters. In the sibling event it explain that Hoppy got her pendant from her big sister, 'cause she wasn't able to control the power like it was suppose to.
6-Craftycorn - King Canvas
''I... had never been enough for him...''
No showing his full design yet, but only leaving something clear: he's a villain, having his debut in the season finale, but there's mentions of him around all the cartoon, incluying the implication of him killing Queen Gaia's husband. Craftycorn isn't a big fan of her dad.
#poppy playtime#smiling critters oc#smiling critters#dogday#catnap#picky piggy#kickin chicken#bobby bearhug#bubba bubbaphant#hoppy hopscotch#craftycorn#family tree#character study#nova say
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Aventurine character study that I spewed at my friend posted here bc I despise whoever portrays him as a useless blonde 24/7 horny twink as his canon self (i will throttle you through the fuckin screen)
A/n: I think the 2.1 trailer is helping me regain my writing motivation, expect inbox asks from Jan- Feb to be coming out soon :)
WRITTEN BEFORE 2.1
This post will contain leaks, 2.0 Trailblaze quest spoilers, world quest spoilers, Aven's slave life in canon, disgusting people saying Aven's a sex slave, under the cut! Please proceed with caution if any of these trigger you. Thank you, and enjoy my yap session on one of the best characters in this game.
Aventurine's story is much more than just looking and acting like the typical rich blonde playboy, as much as he gives off those vibes. Looking at his child self in the 2.1 trailer compared to all of his current models, its very obvious that many, many things happened that caused all the light to poof from his eyes.
First, his homeland, Sigonia. Aventurine's home planet's is uninhabited, and perhaps even destroyed completely. Aventurine is the last of his kind left. His parents, his sister, his possible friends and relatives, hell, even all the people he doesn't know have all perished. The IPC took him in, I presume, but most definitely not out of kindness. In fact, it may not matter that Aventurine is one of the Ten Stonehearts, he is not a person to the company. He is just a asset, a piece for them to dispose if he fucks up.
In the 1.4? Belobog quest where Topaz goes to Bronya about Belobog's massive debt to the IPC, and at the end, we get our first crumbs of Aventurine's character. A important thing to note in this dialogue between the two of them is that he asks Topaz to the project manager on his project in Penacony, because if he knows better than everyone that if he fails to get Penacony back into the IPC's grasp, he'll die. There's no way around it, unless he gets someone he has a somewhat close bond with, Topaz, to lighten his fall.
The tattoo on his neck, is a symbol of his slavery to the IPC. How he's bound to them. How no matter how hard he runs or hides, he will never escape their grasp. In fact, he knows damn well, if anyone gets wind of this alongside his Sigonian history (Sigonians are notorious for being wolves in sheep's clothing, bad people in most eyes'), it is very well possible that his rivals and enemies will use his past to their advantage. Thats why he freely shows it to the world. So that no one can dig it up and use it against him, because how do you use something that he so freely proclaims to everyone he meets?
Aventurine is a man who gambles as well. Not just simply gambling for the thrill of it or his earnings. He says it himself, he sees the world, life itself, as a gamble. High reward, high stakes. Even going back to his conversation with Topaz, its only shown on how he tells her he warned her about taking Belobog as her project because it was high risk, but low return. Aventurine wants the best outcome not just for himself, but because if he doesn't get a good outcome, the IPC has no use for him.
Aventurine is a man who knows how to get what he wants. he knows how to take risks, get out of high stake scenarios with him being the winner. Its obvious in his lightcone, 'Final Victor', his conversation with Dr. ratio in the Penacony 2.0 Trailblaze quest, and his conversation with Himeko and Welt about giving up his room for the Trailblazer. He's confident, cocky, if you will. But for good reason.
In the lightcone, its implied it doesn't matter for Aventurine dies or lives. He will always be the winner. Every move is calculated, precise, carried out with clockwork precision and most importantly, planned so well that whether you like it or not, you're letting him win. He manages to get the Nameless, the widely regarded faction, in his debt. He knows damn well how to play his cards. It is extremely impressive. But he is the Aventurine of Stratagems. He knows what he wants and needs, and he will go any length to get it.
The lightcone, again, also shows just how far Aventurine risks, just for him to gain Dr. Ratio as a asset for him to benefit from. He could have gone any route, but what does he go for? Thats right, Russian goddamn roulette. Just for the (I assume) slim chance of Dr. Ratio's trust, or at the very least, cooperation. "I will always be the final victor." I am repeating, but just bear with me here, this just solidifies the fact he is confident in his skills. He doesn't flinch at all when he shoots 3 blank rounds right into his heart, even though there's the 1/6 chance he'll die. He takes risks. Its his character. He doesn't have anything or anyone, much less his own life, left to loose.
The lightcone is also not 'haha funny gay story', as much as it is funny, i wont lie, the memes are fun to look at, but it is not that. Its a story where Aventurine's suicidal tendency shows through, perhaps not so clearly, but its very much there if you look past the story and read into it. Again, Russian roulette, he could have gone for anything else, like a contract or smth, but he knows he has to go through extremes, and this just solidifies the fact of how Aventurine will do anything for assets and trust in him, so his plans can come to fruition.
Aventurine's personality is complicated, like a intricate, deceiving web of lies and emotional barriers to keep him safe. He hides behind the facade of smiles and is unreadable, and his past is all but cheery. A slave, (not a sex slave, twitter+Tiktok users need their brain fucking reworked i will cry) a man branded by the IPC, bound to the till his death is what Aventurine is. The IPC is ruthless, evident from multiple world quests, such as the Aurum Street Alley quest, Belobog's debt quest, Chadwick's quest in Penacony, paints them as bad people, a bad organization in general. Hell, even though Topaz isnt like the assholes we've seen, she's far from an angel herself.
Aventurine has gone through many things to have lost the sparkle in his eyes. Take Childe/Tartaglia from Genshin Impact for example, whom fell into the abyss for months, seen all the horrors of it, had to learn to fend for himself because I'm very sure Skirk did not care for him in a healthy sense. We can either assume Aventurine been through something on the same level during his younger days or perhaps, worse.
And no, he is not Dr. Ratio or Sunday's sex slave, I'm looking at a certain artist on Twitter (fuck off I'm not calling it X), its disgusting. Whoever genuinely enjoys sex slave Aventurine is sick in the damn head, no he would not enjoy that kind of Roleplay, as much as i am downbad and indeed filthy with some of my fics with him.
Aventurine doesn't have anyone he can truly call a friend, ship him with Dr. ratio, Sunday, Boothill (yes, its a thing), Caelus/ Stelle, whoever, but in the end, you cannot say he (as of 2.0, this may change) has any true friends he can trust, not even just a bit. Bonds he forms are transactional, maybe not too much on Dr. Ratio (as evidenced by his dejected his looks after Ratio leaves, either from the insult or bc he truly though Ratio cared) and perhaps on the Astral Express's part, but his bond with Sunday? Yeah, its transactional, 101% unless it changes in 2.1.
All in all, Aventurine is my favourite character, i have never wanted to read, write, understand, watch, hell, I've never wanted to farm and pull for a character as much as him. He is a complex, heavy and deep character that I do not believe many can grasp upon properly when writing stories, headcannons or even smut/nsfw works with him in it (shoutout to those who does tho, I love y'all <3).
Draw or write his fanon self, make him a himbo, tsundere, a rich man who's just a playboy, or a blonde with a pretty face, but you cannot say that is him in canon. I may despise some fanon interpretations, but fuck those who merge fanon and canon. He will never be any of the fanon interpretations i mentioned above, and he never will be in canon. Hoyoverse put their whole soul into this man, i can see it, and its brain damaging on how so many people fetishize his past and water him down.
In speculation of 2.1 and 2.2, if Aventurine does live (he prob will, its unlikely he'll be killed before release, Tingyun is a exception because she released before her death), maybe he'll learn how to start to open himself up again, start to fully trust, starting with Trailblazer as his first true friend. Its cliche, typical protag power bullshit, but it will no doubt, be a huge step in shaping Aventurine back into the man he could have been if his planet wasn't enslaved.
Conclusion: He deserves better, both in- game and how the fandom treats him. I love him, he's my adorable pookie wookie shmookie <33
#character study#star rail aventurine#honkai star rail aventurine#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventio#ratiorine#dr ratio x aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#aventurine hsr#aventurine fanart#dom male reader#dom reader#dom gn reader#sub character#sub honkai star rail#sub hsr#hsr x reader#sub aventurine#dr ratio hsr#veritas ratio#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#hsr leaks#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#hsr x gender neutral reader#star rail
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