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oldsmobile-hotdogs · 3 years

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Questions for crossover jatp ghosts crossover fic: I hope Julian and the sunset curve boys talk about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Yugoslav wars that happened when they were alive + Bill Cilnton. I wonder what pat and the band would talk about considering that they would of been kids when pat died? Do you think Julie would think of Les Mis and Hamilton cos Thomas and Kitty are from about the same time period as those musicals? I hope Julie calls Fanny Mary poppins.

Anon, or "Mimi", or "Lulu", or, heck, maybe even "Carl Birtles": Update: Not Carl Birtles. Carl Birtles sent me an ask and is cool, actually.

Stop. Right now. I'd say stop while you're ahead, but you are so far away from ahead at this point it's laughable.

For everyone confused, this is that "commenter from AO3" I joked about making a 2017-esque story time video about.

A couple days ago I uploaded the first chapter of a Julie and the Phantoms/BBC Ghosts crossover fic.

You know what? I’m gonna promo it here bc it’s my callout post and I can shill if I want to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30681704/chapters/76661471

It was generally very well received and I've had a blast interacting with readers.

Except for this.

Honestly, there's so much to get into, so I’m putting it under a cut:

This was their first correspondence (email notif bc I deleted the comment, the deletion to be explained later):

(Funnily enough, the links very much do not work on AO3, making the comment only more jarring)

I gave you *so much* benefit of the doubt when I saw this comment, and assumed that maybe you're an ESL user, just very enthusiastic to share ideas, and I pretty much said so in my reply, but know that at that point I'd already had friends- who fucking know about this, don't you dare think you're getting me alone- tell me that you were being very demanding.

Below was my reply (another email notif):

I'm gonna be honest, I think I responded really well to what I was given, and now that I'd replied, I was pretty certain the situation was dealt with. You, evidently, didn't agree, as shown by your reply to my reply:

A word of advice: when replying to someone, at least pretend like you read what they wrote.

At this point I'm left wondering two things:

What do they expect from me, if a general reply is not it?

How much more shit do they have waiting to tell me to put in my- reminder, JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover, rated T, comedic- fic?

In order to avoid finding out either, I freeze the thread on AO3. I'm liveblogging all of this on Discord.

It's then that I notice that the username on AO3 isn't clickable, so even if I wanted to block or report them I couldn't. I assume, therefore, that they've deactivated, and since them seeing their comments gone and getting angry was the only thing stopping me deleting the comments, I delete the comments.

It's also at this point I see "Mimi" never left kudos. I guess I don't deserve praise until I mention "Bill Cilnton".

There's relative calm for a short amount of time, until I get another comment:

This one is much kinder than the others and doesn't mention any specific, weird, historical events, so the extent to which I think this is "Mimi" is debatable, but bestie I'm weirded out enough that anything that even uses the enter bar unnecessarily and misses out conjunctive words like "because" and "and" is going to activate fight or flight. Update: Carl Birtles is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl was just being genuinely kind and I misinterpreted it and that's on me.

However, "Carl"'s case is not helped by the fact I can't click his account either, that AO3 offers me the ability to report it as spam, and that guess who replies to "Carl"'s comment: Update: Carl, having done nothing wrong as he has, is therefore also a victim in the situation that is being replied to by Lulu. It would seem Lulu is trying to correct??? some of Carl's commentary.

You must think I didn't get a 7 on my English Literature GCSE because you seem to underestimate my ability to compare two texts.

So clearly this is "Mimi", who has also just replied to "Carl". "Lulu" is also deactivated, and I've fallen off the end of my tether, let alone reached it, at this point so I mark it as spam. "Carl" gets to stay bc he said the idea for the crossover was good. Update: Carl also gets to continue to stay because I have it on good faith that he's a stand-up dude.

So at this point you've readily admitted through your inability to shake up your writing style to using at least one sockpuppet to convince me to talk about the "Yugoslav wars".

If "Carl Birtles" is the real(-est) of them, and "Mimi" and "Lulu" are the sockpuppets, by the way, I have questions and ideas about what you do on your free evenings and I want them neither confirmed nor answered. Update: This is slanderous and I want to apologise wholeheartedly to Carl for making assumptions about him and judging his character. Once again, he is not Mimi or Lulu. He's just a normal, cool guy.

And now you come to me, on the day of my daughter's wedding on a different platform, leave me an anon ask in the exact same format as you're so fond of, and expect any different ??

Well, yeah, then I guess I'll give you special treatment this time.

Here's exactly why I will never include anything you have told me to include:

Julian and the Phantoms discussing the Berlin Wall would be highly inappropriate for the largely fluffy, cracky tone of my fanfiction, especially given how recently the event occurred, how many Eastern Germans still experience prejudice to this day because they were born within the old borders of the DDR, and because of how nuanced this, essentially proxy war, was and how ill-informed a huge amount of the world is on the actual factors in play during this time and the Cold War in general.

Julian and the Phantoms will not discuss Yugoslavia dissolving, nor the fallout and conflict that resulted, because it was genocidal. There is nowhere I can fit Julian, pantsted, casually asking Luke “hey do you remember when the Herzegovinas were killed en masse by the Serbs?” Not gonna happen.

They won’t discuss Bill Clinton because all of them know who the current world leaders are: they don’t have amnesia, they’re ghosts. The fic is also rated T, so it would be inappropriate to make any explicit reference to “sexual relations”. None of them play saxophone.

Julie wouldn’t think of Les Mis or Hamilton because Thomas is Regency, not French Revolution, and Kitty is Georgian, not Colonial.

Julie won’t be calling Fanny Mary Poppins because she is perpetually stuck in a white dress, doesn’t wear a hat, doesn’t own an umbrella or a purse and was not the nanny or housekeeper of Button House.

The ghosts will not discuss the marvels of modern transportation or how long it would’ve taken to cross the Atlantic on dinghy because the ghosts have seen Friends. The house irl is on a flight path. They know airplanes exist. Alison and Mike pulled up in a car.

I will probably have the phantoms and Willie talk to Pat and Julian about being from the ‘80s and ‘90s. That I will actually probably do.

The Captain will not mention FD Roosevelt because, again, they all know who the current world leaders are, and I doubt he expects a ‘90s pop punk band to have any insider knowledge on the man.

It was interesting to think of the phantoms’ grandparents having been alive during WW2. I wasn’t lying. But there is nearly nothing I can do with this information.

But above all: both sets of ghosts have already adapted to modern life. Because the shows are shorter, and meant to actually be able to fit jokes in them.

If you want to see any of this, write your own damn fic. I don’t own the concept of a JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover.

What you will not do, “consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel”-nim, is hound me on multiple accounts and then change platform to hound me again. I’m absolutely not having it.

I have never received an interaction quite like this before, and I cannot help but wonder if this is because this is my first work in the Ghosts/HH/Them There/Six Idiots/Yonderland/Bill fandom: that this is where you primarily camp out.

So it’s at this point I ask the Them There/Six Idiots fandom if they have/if they know anyone who has had a run-in with this person or thinks they may have, or if anyone perhaps even knows who this is? Maybe I’m just one of many. Maybe this is a necessary fandom evil I was unaware of.

This experience has left me royally freaked out, as one might imagine, especially since my anxiety in general has been acting up due to it being exam season. I want to thank everyone who’s read my rambles on Discord and on here and even listened to them irl and offered support from the bottom of my heart.

I’ve enabled comment moderation on the fic. I will continue to write it, and I will put exactly what I, and only what I, want in it.

Believe it or not, I wanted to do literally anything else today.

Anon: Fucking Leave Me Alone.

Update: Just reiterating: Carl is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl is a cool dude and I want to sincerely apologise for having brought him into this mess, passing judgment on his character, and making him feel like he should stop practicing English online.

#ask #anon #callout post #ig #rant #parish notice #jatp #julie and the phantoms #bbc ghosts #ghosts #fic #fanfic #ao3 #literally any information about this would be helpful #six idiots #them there #horrible histories #yonderland #bill

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tripleaxeldiaz · 3 years

Text

maybe one day i’ll fly next to you

chapter 3/8

read on ao3

start from the beginning

The two weeks before Skate America breeze by, every hour filled with skating or conditioning or trying not to creep on message boards to see what people are predicting for the season. Buck feels good, the best he’s ever felt this early on. He tries to reign it in, that voice in his head reminding him that he could still lose it all at any moment, but it’s muffled and quiet and easy to ignore.

He’s also been seeing more of Eddie, now that he knows he’s not the douchebag he always assumed he was. They condition together, watch each other's jumping passes and offer tips, even take their lunch break together, talking about everything skating and some non skating things too. It’s easy and nice and the best parts of Buck’s days, if he’s honest. He maybe always thinks about talking to Eddie, picking his brain for his thoughts on various skaters’ programs, watching him laugh with his whole body at some snarky comment Buck makes about someone’s horrible choice in costume. Buck likes the way he laughs, likes the way he feels a little warmer when he makes him laugh.

He should have known this brief bubble of happiness would be popped sooner rather than later.

The day before they leave, he and Maddie get an email — an email — from their mother, inviting them to dinner while they’re in town for the competition. To say Buck’s surprised would be an understatement.

“How’d they even find out it’s in Reading this year? Did you tell them?”

Maddie rolls her eyes, stabbing her salad with a little more force than necessary. “I haven’t spoken to them in longer than you have, so no. They’ve probably seen ads or something.”

“We could lie, tell them Bobby’s really strict about non-skating things during competitions?”

“Sure, but then they might just call Bobby on their own and blow our whole cover.”

“We could tell them we’re sick? Food poisoning? Then miraculously get better?”

“If that didn’t work when you tried to get out of taking your SAT, I don’t think it’ll work this time, either.”

“I wasn’t even planning on going to college, why did I—” Buck huffs as Maddie shakes her head at him sympathetically.

There’s really no way for them to get out of this.

The thing is, their parents aren’t bad people — a doctor and a PR manager who are on every non-profit board in the county, volunteer at the local animal shelter, and donate plenty of money to plenty of charities. As parents, though, they somehow manage an interesting balance of using their children’s successes for their own bragging rights and making them feel like they’re always just shy of good enough. They supported them growing up, sure, paid their way through lessons and competitions before endorsements started coming in, but it always felt like it was serving their own clout more than helping Buck and Maddie follow their dreams. When they moved out to LA, it was easy to distance themselves, rescheduling calls indefinitely until their parents eventually just stopped trying.

The last time Buck talked to them was right after his leg surgery — they called under the guise of “checking in on him”, but spent most of the call figuring out the quickest way to get him back to practice, offering to pay for extra surgeries and PT to speed up the process. He’s sure they thought they were helping, but it felt more like they were eager for him to get back to winning medals so they could tell their friends about it.

As much as he loves to win, it’s not the same when someone else is pushing you more than you’re pushing yourself.

He sighs again, slumping down in his chair. He hadn’t been nervous at all about Skate America, but now the itch of self doubt has made a home right under his skin, and it wasn’t even for a skating reason. Maddie reaches across the table to grab his wrist, squeezing lightly.

“It’ll be two hours max, then we’ll make an excuse about early practice and leave. It won’t be that bad.”

Buck nods, turning back to his lunch, suddenly not hungry as his stomach continues to churn.

~~~~~~~~~~

He didn’t expect to get this nostalgic, but the familiar drive toward Reading and the Sovereign Center (Santander Arena now, because capitalism is a prison) fills him with jittery excitement and a weird sense of calm, just like it did when he was a kid competing in the regional circuit. The arena was a palace compared to their rink in Hershey, and it always made him want to skate well enough to be worthy of the ice there. It’s where he won his first medal ever, his first gold, his first trip to Nationals, and would hopefully now serve as a stepping stone once again, this time leading him towards Beijing.

Eddie’s lounging on his bed, shirtless and flipping channels, when Buck gets to their room. It wasn’t a surprise this time — they’d requested to room together anyway — but seeing Eddie like this, soft and relaxed and somehow at home in a hotel room, makes Buck’s heart flip a little bit.

Buck’s heart has been flipping a lot around Eddie, and making him think about stupid things like kissing him and how his abs would feel under his fingertips and how he’d prefer his eggs in the morning. It’s taking up a lot of real estate in his brain, and it’s going to get even worse now that they’re sleeping 10 feet away from each other, he’s sure.

That doesn’t stop him from sneaking glances at Eddie while he unpacks. Just to get it out of his system so he can focus.

It’s fine.

He can totally handle this.

~~~~~~~~~~

Skata America is a much bigger deal than ACI — more cameras, more interviews, more people watching in the stands and on TV. That should mean it’s all more intimidating, too, but Buck is thriving under the lights and camera lenses. This will be the first real chance to show people — not just skating people, but everyone — what he can do, and the anticipation of how it will be received buzzes through him constantly. That buzz practically dictates his every move through practices and his short, finally ceasing as he hits his final pose. It’s quickly replaced by elation — he knows he nailed everything, he knows the resounding applause is deserved.

He knows he’s in first place before they even announce his score.

When they do, he’s right, and he’s thrilled, but there’s also a pang of disappointment, because the margin is tight — only three points between him and Eddie in second. Bobby hands him his protocols in the green room, and his stomach clenches when he sees that his step sequence and his sit spin were downgraded to level threes. His brain starts spinning, mentally combing through every revolution and edge to figure out where the hell he fucked up, when he feels a warm, solid hand on his shoulder. He looks up and sees Eddie, but instead of pity like he expected (or gloating like he feared), he just sees understanding in his eyes, maybe even a hint of the same irritation he’s feeling.

“They screwed me over too, my camel should have had a plus three GOE at least.” Eddie says, squeezing Buck’s shoulder. Somehow, he’s already feeling better.

“I bet it was the French judge, he’s always been a conniving bastard.”

“We could take him out, we have time before tomorrow.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Buck says, as Eddie offers his hand and pulls him up to stand. He tries not to miss the warmth when he lets go.

“For what it’s worth,” Eddie says quietly as they make their way around skaters and coaches in the hallway toward the press room, “I think you should be at least 10 points ahead, if not more. You were something else out there.”

Buck can’t make his brain come up with a proper response by the time they take their seats on the makeshift stage in front of the reports, so all he can do is smile and hope it comes across as totally chill and not as dopey as it feels.

Eddie smiles back, and Buck thinks he’s beautiful.

The presser goes just as expected — a few questions lobbed at the Candian skater currently in third, more for Buck since he’s in first, but the most still go to Eddie. Being the favorite for Olympic gold doesn’t go away after half a competition, and the reporters are rabid as ever. Buck’s seen Eddie’s press routine — the humble charm and gracious smiles, cracking jokes like he’s talking to friends and not a bunch of strangers with tape recorders. He’d spent years mentally rolling his eyes at what he thought was the fakeness of it all, but after getting closer to Eddie, he knows that’s just how Eddie is. Kind and patient, actively listening to what people are saying, taking his time to form thoughtful answers.

But whatever’s happening now is not the Eddie he knows — his laughs are forced and almost too loud, his smile is tight and boarding on a grimace. He keeps fidgeting with his credentials and the sleeve of his Team USA zip-up, eyes darting around like he’s charting his path to get out of the room as fast as possible once they’re done.

He’s nervous. Buck doesn’t think he’s ever seen him nervous, at least not like this, and it’s honestly a little unsettling. So much so that all Buck wants to do is fix it, bring the light back to Eddie’s eyes, bleed the tension out of his shoulders.

There’s probably not an easy way to do that while answering questions about his performance.

He waits until he sees the “wrap it up” signal from the event worker off to the side, the next reporter giving one last question to the Canadian skater. He doesn’t think about it too hard, just stretches his leg a little to the right, slowly, until he and Eddie are ankle to ankle. It’s not much, but Eddie still looks over at him, first confused and then grateful, a small, real smile on his face, his shoulders falling away from his ears.

Eddie’s quiet on the ride back to the hotel, but he looks calmer, listening to everyone else talk about their events and what could happen tomorrow during free skates. He’s still jittery though, leg bouncing as he sits next to Buck on the bus. Whatever was bothering him during interviews is clearly still lingering, and Buck has to fight the urge to reach out and calm his shaking with a hand on his knee.

They make it back to their room, door barely clicking in place behind them, before Buck breaks.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Eddie freezes in front of him, half turned around like he was about to ask Buck something before he steamrolled over him. “You seemed stressed during the presser and on the ride back, and I just...wanted to make sure you’re good.”

Eddie looks stunned for a second before letting out a breath, hand rubbing over his face. “I knew this would happen, you know? The extra attention. It happened after Pyeongchang and the bronze medal, but it died down eventually. I thought I’d have more time to mentally prepare for it again, I guess.” He shakes his head, hand falling to his side as he shrugs his shoulders helplessly. “Today was just a lot.”

Buck nods, patting Eddie’s arm in understanding because he gets it. Most of the time he basks in any form of attention, but some days the lights are too hot and the voices are too loud and faking a smile through it is impossible. The one Buck sees now is real though, he knows it, and he’s happy to see Eddie relaxing now that they’re away from the vultures.

“Well, lucky for you, I’ll be out of your hair tonight, so you’ll have plenty of time to yourself,” Buck says, crossing the room to his bed, digging through his bag for his dinner clothes.

“Where are you going?” Eddie asks, and when Buck looks back at him as he heads to the bathroom to change, he swears he looks disappointed, briefly, before it shifts to confusion. “We don’t have any team stuff tonight, right?”

“Nah, Maddie and I got suckered into dinner with our parents.”

“Are Buckley family dinners always black tie affairs?” he asks when Buck comes back in slacks and a white button down, struggling to knot his tie.

“No, but they told us to dress nicely, so we’re probably going to some fancy restaurant downtown. Knowing them, we’ll also be dragged to some party one of their friends is having that’s conveniently close by.”

He groans in frustration when his tie comes out crooked again, and Eddie laughs, taking pity on him and coming to do it himself. Buck tries to keep cool, willing his cheeks not to turn red, but it’s hard when he can feel Eddie’s breath on his chin, feel his fingers run across his collarbones, and he’s so close, if he just leaned in—

“Sounds like it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Buck sighs through his nose. “I love my parents, they’re just...better from a distance.”

Eddie winces in what looks like sympathy, smoothing Buck’s tie and the front of his shirt as he finishes. Buck misses the motion as soon as it’s gone.

“Maybe they’ll prove you wrong this time,” Eddie says.

Buck rolls his eyes at that, but can’t help a small part of him desperately hoping that Eddie will be right.

~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie is so wrong.

Not only is there a party, it’s a party at their parent’s house, which is in full swing by the time Buck and Maddie pull up in their Lyft. Their mother opens the door, hair up, dress immaculate, lipstick-stained wine glass perched precariously in her hand.

“Evan! Maddie! Come in, so glad you could join us!” She kisses both their cheeks and hugs them quickly before taking their hands and dragging them deeper into the house. There are people everywhere, some faces Buck remembers and some new ones. There are waiters milling around too, passing bacon wrapped figs and mini bruschetta, and Buck feels his stomach rumble.

“So I guess we’re not doing dinner, huh Mom?” Buck asks, trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. Judging by the look Maddie gives him, he’s not doing a great job.

Their mother, of course, doesn’t bat an eye. “Sorry, sweetheart. We didn’t realize we were double booked, and we’d already moved this party once. There’s plenty of food in the kitchen though, you can eat after I’ve introduced you to some people. Everyone’s so excited to hear about how you’re doing. Philip, there you are!” Buck spots his father too, a head above the crowd, tie loose and cheeks flushed. He shakes Buck’s hand firmly, kisses Maddie on the top of her head, and is gone in an instant when someone beckons him towards the bar set up on the back wall of the living room.

“Nice to see you, too. We’re doing fine, thanks for asking!” Buck says under his breath before their mother is whisking them away again.

They spend the next hour flitting between couples — the Whiteheads, the Culls, the Carters, and a bunch of others he can’t differentiate — getting whiplash from their mother’s flipping between actual praise and backhanded compliments.

“Evan’s one of the top skaters in the country, though not as highly ranked as he was before his accident. We’re hoping he’ll be back up there by the time the Olympics roll around so he’ll make the team.”

“Maddie’s been with her partner for about three years now, right darling? They don’t have as many golds as she had with Doug, but they do skate well together.”

“Yes, that skater from Japan is very good Rebecca, you’re right! Evan, do you know him? Maybe he can give you some pointers about your edges going into your spins? I know you struggle with those.”

On and on and on, Buck and Maddie barely able to get a word in. They see their father only a few times, and each time he’s gone as quickly as he comes, pulled away by colleagues or board members or whoever it is they’re entertaining tonight. Buck is exhausted, and not just because it’s been a long day already, but from having to keep up the good natured laughs and graciousness when he doesn’t even feel like a person. He feels more like a trophy, being shuttled from room to room to be admired for a while before being shoved into a closet where no one can see you. Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen — their parents will tout them around for the night, send them back to the hotel, and not speak to them again until they need something.

Buck really forgot just how small this big house can make him feel.

Eventually, he breaks away, making an excuse about needing the restroom before quietly sneaking up the back staircase to the second floor. Maddie finds him 15 minutes later, sliding down to sit next to him in the guest room closet.

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” she says, and Buck smiles weakly. He hid in here a lot when he was a kid, sometimes with Maddie and sometimes alone. When it was all too much — the pressure from their parents or his coach or himself — this is where he came to quiet his brain. The darkness and the smell of the cedar chest full of their mother’s old sweaters was comforting, and it wrapped around him like a blanket until he could breathe again.

“None of their habits have died, that’s for sure,” he says. “Is it sad that I thought they would?”

“It’s not sad to hope for better. It’s just hard when all that hope is for nothing.”

Buck sighs, head thumping against the wall. Maddie threads her arm through his and rests her head on his shoulder. They sit like that for a while, quiet, both in their own heads, though he’s sure Maddie is thinking about and wishing for the same things he is.

He shifts eventually, head resting on top of hers. “Can we go yet? We could probably sneak out the back door. If they haven’t come looking for us yet, they definitely won’t notice.”

“Should we just go back to the hotel? It’s only 8:30.”

“What else are we gonna do?”

Maddie types furiously on her phone for a minute. “Chim, Hen, and May are down to hang out. And WhirlyDome is open until midnight.”

“That place is still around?”

“Apparently, and they have half price appetizers after 9.”

The thought of mozzarella sticks and onion rings makes his stomach growl loudly again. “Alright, let’s do it. But I’m inviting Eddie too.”

Maddie just smirks at him, getting up and out of the closet before he has a chance to ask what the look was for.

It would just be rude not to invite him.

And maybe part of Buck wishes he had stayed in with Eddie tonight from the start.

[to: Eddie] tonight sucked. we’re going to play whirlyball and eat fried food. u in?

[from: Eddie] ????? What the hell is whirlyball?

[to: Eddie] omg now u HAVE to come. meet us here in half an hour

He sends the address and does not smile like an idiot when Eddie says he’ll see him soon.

~~~~~~~~~~

“So it’s...bumper cars?”

“Bumper cars plus lacrosse plus basketball, kind of. It’s super fun and only a little dangerous.”

“Can I watch for a bit first?”

“Sorry Eds, first timers have to play. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

Eddie still looks skeptical as they get ready for the next game, carefully sitting in the car and picking up his scoop.

A bell rings and the cars come to life, rumbling around the room as everyone starts scrambling for the ball. It takes about 30 seconds for Eddie to get the hang of steering, and by the end of the first game, no one would ever guess he’d never played before. He leads their team to three victories in a row, laughing and cheering loudly along with everyone else, like he hadn’t been overwhelmed with anxiety just a few hours earlier. Something warms in Buck at the thought that he helped with that smile, and it’s a feeling he thinks he could get used to, a job he wouldn’t mind having if it meant Eddie was this happy more often than not.

Despite it all — despite good friends and good food and the feeling of Eddie’s shoulder pressed against his, Buck still feels the tendrils of doubt and panic floating around him. They’re bad enough during competitions normally, but pair them with what happened at his parents’ house — being reminded of how he’ll never live up to their lofty image of him, even if he does make it to Beijing — and everything just feels dark and cold, and he doesn’t think his lungs are working properly. He leaves the table, says he’s going to the bathroom, but ends up outside instead. WhirlyDome is in the older half of a shopping center in downtown Hershey, and the outside has been renovated since he was last here, now featuring an elaborate fountain surrounded by benches and newly paved pathways to the other stores. He sinks down on the nearest bench, the cool October air grounding him, making it easier to think, easier to try and smash down all these swirling emotions he’s trying not to feel.

Eddie finds him there, sits down next to him on the bench without saying anything. They stay in companionable silence, watching the fountain dance and the people bustle back and forth across the plaza, getting last minute shopping in before the stores close.

“I’m sorry dinner sucked,” Eddie says eventually, quiet and sincere.

Buck shrugs. “I knew it would. Just got my hopes up too high that things would be different.”

Eddie nods, eyes drifting back to the fountain. Now that they’re alone and the excitement from the games is gone, he can see the slightly weary lines of Eddie’s shoulders, see how he’s still curling in on himself, like he’s trying to escape into his own body.

“How are you?” Buck asks, knocking his knee against Eddie’s gently. “I know this isn’t exactly a quiet night in.”

“I’m alright. Better than I would be, thanks to you.”

“What did I do?”

Eddie’s staring at the ground, but his cheeks are flushing pink, and Buck wants to reach out and feel the heat of them under his fingertips.

“You were there,” he says. “I’m usually alone when I start feeling like that, and nothing makes it better. But I wasn’t alone this time.”

I don’t want you to be alone, Buck thinks, and these thoughts he’s been having — about Eddie, about being with Eddie — are getting louder and louder and harder to ignore. Especially now, when it’s just the two of them, and Eddie’s eyes are sparkling like gems under the street lights.

It’s almost hilarious that barely six weeks ago, and for 10 very long years, he could hardly stand the sight of him.

Eddie finally looks up from the ground, facing Buck, and they’re so much closer than he thought they were. He can count every eyelash, smell his cologne, watch his eyes trace over Buck’s face, from his eye to his lips and back again.

Buck doesn’t even realize he’s leaning in until his vision starts to blur, and he stops short. He tries to move back slowly, casually, but then firm hands are cupping his jaw, pulling him forward until soft lips meet his own. There’s no fireworks, no angels singing, just warm molasses in his veins, spreading to every part of him until he’s so warm he’s certain he must be glowing. His hands twist into Eddie’s jacket, pulling him as close as possible until he’s practically in his lap. They move to his shirt, feeling the abs he’s been thinking about for weeks now, and he almost melts right to the ground at the sound Eddie sighs into his mouth.

He’s not sure how long they kiss, but it doesn’t feel like long enough by the time they come up for air. He doesn’t go far, still close enough to feel Eddie’s breath fan across his lips, but he’s not sure what to do now. He wants to know what this means (if it means anything at all), he wants to know what Eddie’s thinking, he wants to memorize the way Eddie tastes and feel his abs for real.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, making them both jump. It’s a text from Maddie, telling him they’re car is here and asking where the hell they went. He looks back at Eddie, still so close, and swallows down the urge to kiss him again and tell his friends to leave them here.

“We should— we have to go,” he says, gesturing toward the parking lot. Eddie’s eyes are flitting over his face again, unreadable but still bright. He nods finally, standing up and offering his hand to Buck. He can’t fight the smile or the blush that he feels, so he doesn’t, taking Eddie’s hand to help him stand. They stay put for a minute, until Eddie squeezes his hand and drops it, smiling that soft smile again as he turns away.

Buck smiles himself, still full of warmth and lips still tingling, before following Eddie to the car.

~~~~~~~~~~

The ride back is quiet, everyone tired and settling back into the competition mindset they were able to let go of for a few hours. Buck feels it too, already running step sequences in his head again, but he keeps getting distracted. Eddie’s sitting next to him in the back seat of the Lyft, head tipped back and eyes closed, looking at peace for the first time all day. Buck tries to stop, tries to keep his focus, but his eyes keep drifting back to Eddie’s jaw, the cut of his cheekbones, the stubble shadowing his cheeks. It’s hard to remember what edges he’s supposed to hit tomorrow when he keeps thinking about how that stubble felt under his lips.

They silently make their way back to their room, and Buck knows they need to talk. He’s trying to figure out where the hell to start as he turns on the light in the small entryway, illuminating everything in a light that feels too harsh for whatever is currently simmering between them. Eddie’s right behind him when he turns around, looking just as unsure as Buck feels. It’s comforting, them being on the same page, but Buck hates that he’s responsible for making Eddie feel like this.

He can’t figure out where to start, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say. Eddie takes pity on him eventually, reaching for his hand again.

“Let’s talk tomorrow?” he asks. “After free skates.”

It’s an out that Buck is more than willing to take. Not that he doesn’t want to talk, he just...can’t. Not right now. So he nods, squeezing Eddie’s hand in thanks. He goes to pull away, but Eddie’s grip stays firm.

“It wasn’t nothing to me,” he says, tilting his head until Buck meets his eye. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing or what it meant for you, but it was something for me.”

Buck’s doesn’t know what to do with that, either. He wants to kiss Eddie again and he wants to run far away from him and he wants to skate, but he can’t until the morning. So he just nods again, and it seems to be enough. Eddie nods back, finally dropping his hand as he heads into the bathroom and shuts the door.

Buck doesn’t bother waiting for his turn, just strips out of his dress clothes and crawls into bed. He falls asleep fast, dreams of brown eyes and triple axels — taking off, rising, and falling, falling, falling…

~~~~~~~~~~

He knows he’s falling before his ass hits the ice.

It was inevitably, really — he felt like he was fighting himself through the entire program, trying to keep it from completely unraveling. He knows that to anyone else, any casual fan and even some analysts, he looked good, strong, put together right until the end. But he knows that this isn’t his best. And this fall is definitely going to cost him.

He recovers quickly, finishing the rest of the program as close to perfectly as he can manage. He smiles and bows, waves to his friends in the stands, tries to pretend like he’s okay with knowing that he’s definitely not winning this gold.

It’s his own fault. He’d let his parents worm their way into his brain again, amplifying the self doubt that was already lingering, making him second guess every move, even the things he knows are good. Pair that with the fact that he can’t stop thinking about Eddie — not just the kiss, but his smile as he took the ice, his effortless jumps — and it was a miracle he only fell once.

He takes silver, four points behind Eddie’s gold. The fact that it was that fall that did him in stings worse than anything.

At the medal ceremony, he catches Eddie’s eye for the first time all day on the podium, and surprises himself with the genuine smile he gives him. It’s certainly not Eddie’s fault, what happened today — he didn’t ask to take up most of Buck’s thoughts, Buck let that happen. And if he keeps letting it happen, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to skate clean again.

He knows they still need to talk, and he knows exactly what he needs to say, but he really doesn’t want to say it.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to say anything right away. Eddie disappears after the presser and doesn’t join him and May in the stands for the free dance. Buck tries to ignore the empty seat next to him, but it’s harder than usual.

They have a late flight back to LA, and Eddie’s already packed but the time Buck makes it back to the room. They stand across from each other in the entryway, just like last night, but the tension in the air feels wary under Buck’s skin instead of hopeful.

“You were amazing today,” Buck blurts out, not at all how he wanted to start this conversation. It’s worth it, though, for the smile and blush he gets from Eddie.

“Thanks,” he says, eyes on the floor. “So were you.”

Jesus, just tell him, Buck thinks, and he squares his shoulders like he’s preparing for a fight.

“It was something for me, too,” he says softly. “Yesterday, it— it definitely wasn’t nothing.”

Eddie looks at him, waiting, and Buck hesitates.

He really, really doesn’t want to say it.

“But?” Eddie prompts, because of course he knows there’s more.

“But,” Buck sighs. “But I can’t— We should wait. Until after the Olympics. I don’t think either of us want to be too distracted before then, and I don’t know if you know this, but you are very...very distracting.” Eddie snorts and rolls his eyes, and Buck lets his gaze rake over Eddie from top to bottom, distracting himself for just a little bit longer.

“You’re right,” Eddie says quietly. “Let’s wait. And I’ll try and be less distracting, so I can keep kicking your ass fair and square.”

“Oh really?” Buck laughs, and Eddie’s laughing too, and it feels good and normal and Buck doesn’t want it to stop. But it has to. Because as much as Buck wants to dive deeper into this...whatever this is with Eddie, he wants to win more. Not much more (which is a thought he never expected to have about anyone), but definitely more.

And if anyone in the world understands that feeling, it’s Eddie.

There’s a knock on the door, Bobby giving them a 15 minute warning before they’re supposed to head to the airport. Buck moves to head toward his things so he can pack, but Eddie grabs his arm before he can go too far. His eyes look soft and sad and hopeful and a million other things Buck is feeling too, and he just wants to drown in them, in this moment, before he has to go back out into the world, alone.

Eddie leans forward, softly kissing Buck’s cheek, lingering in his space before he heads out of the room, door quietly shutting behind him.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #buddie fic #911 fic #9-1-1 #fs au #ficcery #the self indulgence really popped out on this one because i lOVE whirlyball sm #also they continue to be idiots but that's not totally my fault #they're just Like That

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celestialdr · 3 years

Text

My Script

So I’m posting up my script here if anyone's interested. This is for my main DR in the D:BH Universe.

It’s kinda long.

*WARNING: very self indulgent.*

Intro

My DR is set in the D:BH universe. In Detroit, 2039. I am a young Detective at the DPD.

All events that happened in my play trough of DBH happen in this reality. EG. Markus = Peaceful Revolution. Kara= Her, Alice and Luther all escape to Canada together. Connor = Becomes Deviant.

Hank and Connor become like father and son. Connor moved in with Hank after the events of DBH.

I have been working at the DPD as a detective for about a year now, I was very excited to be working alongside my dear friend Trey Greene (OC), who actually ended up being my partner. We do almost every investigation together.

During my time at the DPD I have become fast friends with Hank and Chris. Gavin is okay, we joke and banter but I wouldn’t say we are buds. I disliked his attitude towards Hank and his dislike of androids. But if he changes, who knows, maybe we can be friends. Idk.

I always supported android rights, even before there where deviants. I always treated androids with kindness and compassion.

I first met Connor on the 6th of November 2038, back before he was deviant. I was always kind to him and had a fondness for him. When Connor first saw me he stopped for a minute in a miniature awe, the stereotypical love at first sight motif. Although he did not know it at the time - him not being deviant yet. A software instability entered his program upon seeing me. In fact, anytime we made eye contact or talked he got a software instability. It baffled him.

The first time he saw me after deviating he was hit with butterflies, it didn’t take too long to realize what it was, he had a huge crush on me. He kept it to himself but Hank knew immediately.

It is now January the 8th 2039, Connor and I have become quite good friends but his feelings for me only continue to grow. We've only known each other for 2- 3 months but Connor is falling in love fast and now he's decided to finally pluck up the courage and admit his feelings to me and ask me out. How will he do this? I don’t know yet.

______

World

After the events of DBH, Androids start getting rights, relatively quickly.

Laws are implemented to protect androids. Androids are free. They can own property, get paid for working and all of the things Markus was advocating for.

As time goes on Androids fully integrate into our society and we mostly live in peace. Hate crime of any kind is rare.

Android politicians start to pop up. Android Pride day exists. Androids can marry each other and humans. Android/Human relationships are normalised. Androids can adopt. Etc.

_______

Shifting

1 hour - 1 day

. While I am in my DR my clone is sleeping in my CR.

. I have a Healthy attachment to my DR and I recognise the importance of my CR.

. I remember everything from both realities vividly while I'm in the other unless I script otherwise.

· I can fully trust my clone. My clone acts identical to me.

· When I shift back to my current reality time stops in my DR. The next time I go to my DR everything continues where I left off.

· I can use the LIFA app in my DR to see what my clone is doing in CR.

· I only shift back to my CR when I want to, I can’t go back on accident.

· My safe phrase for coming back to my CR is “I want to go back to my Current Reality.” or even as simply as I make it my intention, then I can go back.

· Nothing traumatic happens to me in my DR.

· When I come back to my CR, I will remember everything that happened in my DR.

· When I shift, I wake up in my DR bedroom.

· When I am shifted I smell cinnamon and my eyes automatically open.

· I cannot die or get very hurt in my DR.

. I am able to fully Integrate Into my DR self’s life. e.g. Rembering my DR self’s past, feeling comfortable and normal talking to and interacting with people in my DR selfs life. Having all the skills and knowledge my DR self has.

. No one from my CR or other realities can enter my DR without my permission.

.My guardian Angel or one of my angels or guides from my DR has decided to help me shift. Whenever I try to shift in this reality the Angel assits me and pulls my CR self into My DR.

_______

About Me

I have the same name, b-day etc but I am 25 Years old.

Childhood and teen years, pretty similar to CR.

Everything is pretty much the same except added skills talents or whatever else I script.

Physical

· I Look like myself but 10x prettier.

· I have my dream body, which always stays perfect and in shape. Similar to my body type only toned and fitter.

· I have perfect, white straight teeth.

. I always have good breath.

· I always smell great - My sweat doesn’t smell.

· Low, silent gas that doesn’t smell.

· I usually smell like ‘Soap and Glory’ products.

· I have Beautiful hair that is easily maintained. My hair is also a slightly lighter blonde.

· I have my Ideal, natural eyebrows.

· I have soft, clear skin and I am slightly tanner than in my CR.

· I am beautiful from all angles.

· I have long eyelashes.

· I have a straight, cute nose.

· I always have good hygiene.

· I never gain weight when I don’t want to, my body is always slim and never bloated.

· If I ever get pregnant, after having my baby, my body goes quickly back to the way it looked before.

· I don’t have to shave too often.

· If I ever decide have a baby, my pregnancy will be safe and my child will be safe. It will be born happy and healthy.

· I have perfect senses.

· I can be fully functional with little sleep.

· I have good stamina and am physically fit.

· I still have my accent.

· I have a naturally beautiful face with and without make up.

· My make-up sits perfectly on my face and stays all day until I take it off.

· My make-up never runs.

· I always have nicely manicured nails.

· I always look well groomed.

Health

· I have high pain tolerance.

· My period only lasts two days and doesn’t hurt too bad.

· I can only get pregnant if actually wanting too.

· I am always safe.

· I am divinely protected at all times.

· I am well rested and perfectly healthy.

· I can think clearly.

· I have good mental health - maybe went through similar mental health issues when I was younger but now am perfectly healthy and able to cope.

· I do not scar.

· I heal fast.

· 𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖻𝖾 too overly 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽 to my DR and I will not get any trauma.

· I eat healthy, and enjoy healthy foods.

· I drink plenty of water

· I have balanced chakras, Good intuition and I radiate love and light.

· I can easily communicate with angels.

Skills

· I am a skilled detective. I know exactly what to do and I have all required skills.

· I am an excellent shot.

· I have excellent fighting and self-defence skills.

· I have high intelligence.

· I'm never badly hurt in the line of duty. Extremely lucky (like domino in dp2.) If I ever get hurt in DR its only minor. No one is suspicious about it.

· I'm a good writer.

· My art skills are always better in my DR than in CR.

· I have a good memory and deduction skills. Good reasoning skills.

· I am socially confident and charismatic.

· I am an excellent speaker.

· I am good at reading people.

· I give good advice.

· I am a good friend.

· I am a great kisser and fantastic in bed.

· I am hard working and have lots of patience.

· I'm a great singer and can play piano, guitar.

· I know French and Irish.

· I know how to drive.

· I'm really good at make-up.

· I'm really funny.

· People easily trust me.

Life

· I have all knowledge my CR self has.

· I had a relatively easy life.

· I come from a wealthy family.

· I am always full of motivation and energy.

· I have an amazing closet full of clothes, including both new clothes and my CR self's clothes.

· I have all of my current realities belongings. (Well, the stuff that I want with me.)

· I have a ton of art supplies.

· I live in my own house which I can afford with ease.

· I have a cute golden retriever called Bailey who is okay alone in the house while I'm at work.

· Bailey is a year old and is fully trained.

· I have a nice car that is self-driving.

· I have a good phone with the LIFA app

· I get to travel to cool places on holidays/vacation.

· While I'm in my DR I don’t confuse my CR's past with my DR's.

· All my fave shows, music, movies are also in my DR.

· I have lots of friends and make friends easily.

· I remember my past in the DR and can reference it with ease.

· I never have to kill as a detective, I can always disarm or find another solution.

· I won't get fired from my job.

· I'm good at my job and I know how to do my job well.

· Trey is my partner and our desks are beside each other.

· I'm also friends with Chris and Hank.

· My friends are always there for me. My friends care about me.

· Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.

· I am a really great at manifesting what I want in my DR.

· People I don’t want to, won’t die or get very hurt.

· People from my DR never notice if I'm not there because when I’m not there, my clone takes my place. (Although I probably won't use my clone too often because I plan to pick up where I left off most of the time.)

· I know all passcodes and important numbers of my DR self's life. E.g. Passwords, phone numbers, etc.

·I have a Spotify/ (or whatever the equivalent to it is in this reality) filled with music that I like. Maybe some of the playlists that I have in CR.

· I'm quick at picking up skills.

· If I ever decide to change career in my DR, I can do so with ease and get whatever job I want.

· I have nice, tidy handwriting.

Family

I come from a wealthy family. We moved from N.I. to America - Detroit in 2025. (Moved Because dad was offered a great job.) *family all have our green cards.*

Family is friends with Carl Manfred.

A very loving, healthy and supportive family.

* In my actual script I go into more detail about my family. but i’ll give you a brief rundown. I chose to shift to a reality with a different family from my CR family because I thought if I had a different family and friends it will give me more of a reason to come back to my CR. So I can have balance? idk...*

My DR dads name is Patrick, DR mums name is Mary and my DR brothers name is Lucas.

Family support and are okay with my relationship with Connor because they recognise androids as living beings.

Last but Not least! Bailey!

Bailey is my one year old Golden retriever. She is very well trained and is an absolute angel. She also really loves Connor.

House

I live in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath house with Bailey. *In my actual script I stuck in a bunch of pictures of a house I built in the sims 4.*

Friends

So, I'm not going to go through all the friends I scripted on here but I’ll tell you about my best friend from my DR. My partner from work, Trey Greene. He’s 27, a leo (like me) and gay. (I honestly made my entire friend group LGBTQ+ LOL)

I may have also scripted that jenna marbles is there and shes my friend lol.

Connor

*Okay now to the real reason I'm shifting, the love of my life.*

Connor falls in love with me the moment he sees me. Although he may not understand what it is at first because he hasn’t deviated yet. When he fully deviates he realises his feelings. He's a little shy about it at first but eventually asks me out. We date and fall in love and end up in a loving healthy relationship. We respect each other's boundaries and are completely in love. Like stereotypical soulmates.

Connor is very romantic and affectionate. Literally like a prince charming.

When we get together we are in a healthy relationship and both of us are completely faithful. I can trust Connor fully because I know he is trust worthy and always has my best intentions at heart.

. We have similar love languages.

. Connor is super-duper romantic and calls me sweet names like "My love."

. Much Like me in this DR, Connor is completely protected and safe with extremely good luck.

After the events of DBH and Connor is deviant. Amanda and cyberlife no longer have any control over him.

NSFW warning - Skip to Lifa if your not comfy.

Connor's model was created fully equipped with regular male genitalia (which is about 7 inches.)

He is very vocal in bed and is great at dirty talk. He can do loving romantic sex and also kinky rough sex too.

Lifa

Lifa is an app on my smart phone that only I have access to. Others don’t notice it. (like hidden in plain sight.)

It can only be noticed by others if I decide I want to show it to someone.

Lifa allows me to script while in my WR. It also allows me to see myself in CR.

Lifa updates me when its nearly time for me to wake up or reminds me when. As if it's like a timer.

Lifa doesn’t require internet. It has maps on it. I can look at my money and add to my money if I so wish. (if I add money it doesn’t ruin the economy.) idk magic lol

I can also access in online on a computer or tablet or any device that carries the internet.

No one else can use it unless I specifically allow it.

I will be alerted by this app if my clone wakes up.

I always have my phone near me. I can never lose it. Its also always fully charged.

If I get a new phone. Lifa automatically downloads on it and deletes off the old phone.

MISC.

· When androids deviate they are able to feel pleasure, touch, etc.

· Androids actually do have souls and are actually a new life form.

· After revolution CyberLife starts to create things for androids like upgrades. E.G. Taste, ability to do almost everything humans can.

· Most people are environmentally conscious.

· The earth is healing and people are taking better care of the planet. A lot more environmentally conscious options.

· The ocean, air, atmosphere and earth are all 70% cleaner than in CR.

· Racism, homophobia, sexism are quite rare. Ultimately society frowns upon such things.

· Humans and Androids live in peace

· Shortly after the revolution, Kamski got repointed as CEO of Cyberlife. Cyberlife now focusing on the needs of Androids and helping them adjust into the world.

· Youtube still exists and is relevant.

�� Bagel Bean and Boojum exist in Detroit and aren't too far from my home. (These are food places back at where I'm from that are bomb.)

· No crisis with bees.

. The Police and justice system are reformed.

· No threats of ww3.

· I don’t live too far from work.

· All the videogames I like still exist, (except for dbh obvs.)

· We can buy Cadburys and Pujana tea in America. (Things I like in the UK.)

• Food in US is similar to food in UK. e.g. same food laws and food that is actual tasty / healthy. LOL

(sorry, I've been to America and the food there tastes weird, man.)

Future

Now that the androids have rights, Cyberlife has to free all active Androids. Eventually they get around to RK900. Cyberlife only created one RK900 as a prototype before the revolution.

The RK900 goes by the name Nines. He ends up working in the DPD. (Months later.) It takes a while for Nines to deviate but he eventually does. Nines is rather stoic but he is nice. Him and Connor have a brotherly bond. Nines becomes friends with me, Connor, Hank and Trey. (Part of our little found family.)

In the future, when Connor and I are both ready we get married and have kids (either through adoption or sperm donation or maybe they find a way for androids to have kids in the future, idk?)

In the future me and Connor buy our dream house together.

So, Yeah that's what I've scripted so far. I keep one script on my PC and one in a notebook under my bed.

Feel free to use any ideas or concepts from my script

#shiftblr #reality shifting

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bangatees · 6 years

Text

k-pop YouTube and plagiarism

I’m unsure of how many of you watch K-Pop channels on YouTube (i.e crack, unpopular opinions, etc)

well, yesterday a very popular channel, hoeforsushi, posted a video called everything wrong with kpop, which got 60k views in one day. They might eventually make money off this video, if they haven’t already, and I don’t mind that at all, but the thing is, the first six minutes are completely plagiarized.

One thing to note before I write anything else, is that the word plagiarism is a heavy one, and should be used lightly. Just because people come up with similar ideas, doesn’t mean that they are necessarily copying each other. So how do you recognize plagiarism?

The first clue is in the structure. Anyone can search for the history of South Korea, read about how it was a dictatorship until the 80′s, or figure out how SM came up with their in house training system. So imagine you do a little research, and after a while you come up with an outline:

-SK was a dictatorship until the 80′s

-it was (and still is) a conservative country with no time for leisure, as opposed to “western” countries, where kids can start bands and write their own music

-SM launched artist X, career flopped, started in house training system

There is a clear thought process behind this. Historical background and context that explains why the music industry developed in the way it did. It’s not a case of someone randomly picking information and putting it in a top ten list of SHADY KPOP FACTS. That’s the difference between an essay-style video, and a list video. And an essay style video is what a channel called Cuck Philosophy (title of which is a leftist joke, I guess) produced and uploaded on YouTube eight months ago, with the title The Late Capitalism of K-Pop. It currently has 242K views, which is a lot, but compared to the plagiarized version (which I’m going to talk about in just a second), it’s going to fall behind pretty soon, despite being ten times better.

Short disclaimer about the original video: it’s made by someone who is not a k-pop fan. but they don’t criticize the artists, if anything it is about their struggles. It’s very well researched and informative, and I recommend watching it, even if you aren’t a fan of the left.

So how exactly did hoeforsushi plagiarize this video? I made a distinction earlier on about the difference between an essay and a list video, and I’m going to squeeze that distinction in one more time just in case.

not plagiarism: writing a list in chronological order of all the events that took place during the French Revolution

Plagiarism; copying the thought process, even some paragraphs word for word, of an essay on a specific topic concerning the French Revolution.

Hoeforsushi has Cuck Philosophy’s video in their description box listed as an inspiration/source, but they never directly mention him in the actual video, not stopping at any point, during the first six minutes, which are directly lifted from his video, to say anything along the lines of “As Cuck Philosophy said in his video The Late Capitalism of K-Pop...” and even if she had, you can’t copy someone’s content like that. Not when it’s someone else’s research. The first six minutes copy his “dictatorship, lack of leisure, not being able to write music, Sm in house training”.

Closing thoughts. I’m venturing a guess that Hoeforsushi has never made a video essay before, and I’m all for trying new things. But video essays (just like written ones!) take time, research, and dedication. I hope she will remove her plagiarized version, maybe cut it down to half its length, because I’m sure that if another idol group were to plagiarize whoever she got into k-pop for, she would be upset, or worse, if her channel does evolve into a video essay channel, which would be really cool, by the way, she wouldn’t be happy if someone plagiarized her content.

A lesson for all of us: don’t steal content. Be inspired by it, but learn to draw the line between admiration and blatant theft.

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63824peace · 5 years

Text

Wednesday, 28th of september 2005

It’s been meetings, meetings, meetings since I arrived this morning. At times like this it is unforgivable to waste time in idleness.

I don't have time for lunch, so I bought a take-out meal on the fifth floor. I eat while checking email. I am now following up the work I received during the meetings. It doesn't look like I will make it to the bookstore today.

In the afternoon I have an interview with Frank Miller, although I can't disclose where. It’s a secret. I can that it is somewhere in Tokyo, however. Miller is visiting Japan in honor of the release of his new movie Sin City.

Frank Miller is the man who created a revolution in the world of American comics. In Japan, the graphic novel (comic books with mature stories) appeared in the 1970's and became quite revolutionary. Miller served as an important figure in bringing comics to a greater level of respect in the United States. The changes brought about by his work are akin to those that occurred within Japanese comic culture.

Miller’s works differ greatly from any comic publishing in America. He does everything by himself: story, dialogue, art, even the covers. When he began working, American comics were created by several staff members who each worked on different aspects of the comic. Miller's method of working was unconventional. Furthermore, his comics are presented in black-and-white, a colorless aesthetic which is considered indispensable by American comic standards.

Miller's appearance on the American comic scene turned the industry's sensibility on its head. His style encompasses more than the traditions of American comics. His work bears similarities with the French bandes design, so his comics were introduced and advertised as entertainment for mature audiences.

Miller is more than just an artist. He is an innovator and pioneer. I like people who break new ground, I have respect for them.

I was able to hear from Mr. Miller about the struggles he experienced in the American comics industry. I was also able to hear about the strong attachments he feels toward his own works, almost as though they were his children.

The interview was short, only one and a half hours, but I really enjoyed myself.

I told him I am a big fan of Jessica Alba, who plays Nancy. With a joking smile he responded: "All men are big fans of Jessica Alba.” He is a marvelous gentleman with great, intelligent sensibilities.

The interview with Miller will appear in Famitsu magazine on October 21st.

Before we parted I asked if he would autograph my copy of Hard Boiled, one of his comics that was first published in Japan ten years ago. As a side note, I almost met Geoff Darrow (who illustrated Hard Boiled) five years ago when he came to Japan for the publicity campaign of The Matrix.

I don't know why, but both Miller and Darrow addressed me as "sensei" when we first met. I wonder why. Perhaps this, too, is an influence from graphic novels.

Robert Rodriguez directed the movie Sin City. He fell in love with Miller's work. I first saw the film in a theater in Santa Monica. The other day I saw it for my second time at a pre-release viewing room of GAGA Communications, Inc.

The film industry hasn't seen anything like Sin City before, it is a completely new type of movie. I almost want to say that it’s not a movie at all- it’s Sin City and nothing else! This movie will change how filmmakers translate comics into movies, just like how Miller transformed the comics industry. When we use the magic of digital technology we give a dynamic sense of movement; a liveliness; to a comic. We can create a world that hitherto was impossible.

Showing the possibilities of digital technologies requires great ambition.

It’s Wednesday. At Kojima Productions it is the day of the week when we all go out to see a movie, something we called “The Longest Day.” As long as we don't have any urgent work, we leave work at 5:00 PM. On the second and fourth Wednesdays of each month, we try to enlighten ourselves by attending a movie, a concert, an art gallery, or visit the gym. We follow the example of Kounosuke Matsushita who established a five-day workweek for his company, Matsushita Electronics, in order to improve productivity.

All the movie theaters set aside Wednesdays as “Ladies Day” that gives discounted ticket prices for women. It is a double-deal for the female staff members. “The Longest Day” has been in motion for about three months now at Kojima Productions. The staff seems to have accepted it as firmly established. They take their work very seriously, so they really seem to appreciate the chance to watch movies.

However, today no one relaxes. Everyone is busy working in the office today playing Subsistence, checking MGO, and testing MGA2.

I would like to see the film Bewitched but at Roppongi Hills the movie is scheduled to run only during the daytime. I still haven't been able to see it. The film will run in the theaters until September 30th. I won't have time to see it before then I suppose. But I want to see Nicole!

I'm so busy with MGS3, so no movie tonight. Goodbye, Nicole.

Once more I am checking the MSX version of Metal Gear that will be included in Subsistence. Every time I want to open a door I have to select the exact keycard that will open that door. For instance, when the player must run through all of the keycards in the gas room, he must enter the equipment submenu and change the equipped item from the gas mask to one of the keycards. While I'm testing the keycard on the door, Snake's life diminishes because of the poison gas. I got crushed by a tank while trying all the different cards for the door.

Yup, just got crushed again.

When the MSX version was ported to cell phones in Japan I was asked, "Should we update this part of the gameplay to the current standard wherein the player just holds the card and the door opens if it's at any level of access below the player's maximum level of security clearance?" The original idea was to experience the thrill of choosing the exact right card to escape while enemies close in on Snake. I insisted we keep the original idea.

While working through the MSX Metal Gear for Subsistence, however, I thought, "Maybe this is too difficult?" After a long time away from the game, it is difficult to adjust to the difficulties of retro gameplay.

I have to consider whether or not I really want to transfer the exact same character to this new incarnation. I think that it is OK to update old things to current standards, but I cannot alter the game's essence. Games should evolve with the times.

Around midnight I check the sound on third chapter of the third Subsistence disc. It is a quick chapter with a lot of action and features boss fights with Ocelot and The Pain. The chapter doesn't have much character to it. It sounds cool to say that it's a chapter with non-stop action that doesn't let the audience catch their breath, but in fact, it's just a chapter in which two abnormal opponents appear and show off.

That's just part of the character of the MGS universe.

When I watch it, not as a game, but as a linear stream of events, I notice that it seems similar to an American comic. Listening to the game with Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound I feel as though I were amid a swarm of bees.

"PAIN!"

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breeeliss · 7 years

Text

[Femslash February]: Rescue

okay so technically it’s not feb. 3rd anymore but as far as i’m concerned it’s still yesterday until i go to sleep so i’m going to pretend this is right on time. i have to do this for 25 more days rip me xD

Day 3: Rescue (Chlonette/Chlobug)

Words: 1616

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Asleep] [Next: Matching Outfits]

Chloe was actually going to die of boredom at this dinner party. Seriously. She could feel her brain cells shriveling up, and she was going to end up brain dead way before dessert even came.

Galas were way more fun. Galas had music, endless supplies of alcohol, balconies to smoke off of, and far more opportunities to dance and flirt with the sons and daughters of the other politicians in attendance. Dinners were tolerable only if she happened to be seated around interesting company or had the opportunity to wax on about her own life for the sake of drawing in the attention.

But she was currently listening to one of her father’s staffers drone on and on about fiscal responsibility in the coming year and Chloe was two seconds away from stealing the bottle chianti, crawling under the table, and getting drunk alone. The man looked old enough to have fought in the damn French Revolution, and all of this economics talk was going completely over her head. It didn’t help that her father and some young son of another staff member were enraptured with the conversation, leaving Chloe to trace the rim of her wine glass and doze off from the conversation.

Chloe pulled her phone out of her purse and surreptitiously sent a text.

chloe: is death by macroeconomic discourse possible? asking for a friend.

mari <3: oh my. dinner’s that bad?

chloe: i’d rather use the melon ballers to scoop out my eyeballs

mari <3: ew :P poor thing. it’s only for an hour more right? you can do it!

chloe: :((((((((

chloe: all these old men are horrible i just wanna cuddle with a beautiful girl and make out with her all night is that too much to ask?

mari <3: huh. sorry. don’t know where you can get one of those.

chloe: you little brat come save meeeeee >.<

She felt her father nudge her side with his elbow and lean his mouth down next to her ear. “Chloe, please put the phone away and behave.”

Chloe rolled her eyes and whispered back “Daddy, you can count on me to be perfectly pleasant and keep any conversation lively, especially if it’s for your benefit. But to be perfectly frank, this conversation died when the salad got here, and this talk about investments is actively drying out my skin.”

He reached over to squeeze her elbow. “I know these can seem a little dull, but you’ve done this dozens of times. It’s good for you to be in the public eye. We’re almost wrapped up here.”

He melded perfectly back into the conversation, laughing at some horrid joke that someone had just told, leaving Chloe to pout in her seat. Sure she’d been to these dinners before, but before she didn’t have a girlfriend at home patiently waiting for her so that they could spend the whole evening together. Chloe was 1000% positive that whatever Marinette had planned was far more entertaining and pleasurable than whatever this disaster was.

It wasn’t as if Chloe was technically needed for anything. She was hoping for some excuse to fall into her lap so that she could slip away, but Marinette had conveniently stopped texting her right when Chloe needed an out. Little minx. It was like she enjoyed being home alone and waiting for Chloe to come home. Sneaking out of this embarrassment of a social event was mutually beneficial for them both. Surely Marinette could’ve called and pretended she’d lost her leg in a tragic car accident or something. She was creative enough for it.

The conversation switched to cuff links and Chloe started eyeing the steak knife sitting next to her plate.

Maybe she could fake a heart attack. Twenty-three year olds had heart attacks, right?

Chloe was too seconds away from sacrificing her dress and spilling wine on it for an excuse to go home when her phone buzzed.

mari <3: go to the bathroom. bring your purse.

chloe: ??? why

mari <3: just do it

Oh well. Better than staying at this table for a second longer.

She laid a hand on her father’s arm. “I’m going to head to the ladies’ room and freshen up a bit. Is that alright?”

He was distracted by the conversation and simply waved her off. “Of course, darling, don’t be too long.”

Chloe did as instructed and grabbed her purse and her shawl while she walked to the back of the restaurant where the bathrooms were. It was incredibly late and all of the guests had already gone home, but her father was the mayor, so the restaurant stayed open until he and his friends went home. Which meant that the hall leading down to the bathrooms was eerily empty.

The restaurant they were in was perched on top of a tall building, so Chloe passed the tall windows that overlooked the entirety of the city as she walked to the bathroom like Marinette told her. She was about to suspect this was a trick before she heard a tapping noise to her right. Chloe jumped a foot in the air and whirled her head around before her jaw dropped.

“Are you fucking crazy!?”

Ladybug giggled and pressed a finger to her lips. She pointed to the latch at the bottom of the window and pouted as she mouthed a cute little please through the glass. Chloe stood frozen for a second before she cursed under her breath and managed to pull out the lock the clasp. She stared down the hall as Ladybug slipped through the window and shut it behind her.

“Boy!” Ladybug sighed out. “You sure are high up.”

“Did anyone see you?” Chloe hissed out. “This is not what I meant when I said to save me!”

“How rude,” Ladybug smirked. “Most people would be pretty excited to have a beautiful super heroine save them from danger.”

Chloe snorted. “Dangerous dinner parties, you mean.”

“All the same really.” Ladybug peeked over her shoulder at the door to the women’s restroom. She gripped Chloe’s hips and backed her into the swinging door. “I absolutely love you in this dress. You look delectable.”

They moved into the opulent bathroom and Ladybug reached behind her to fasten the lock behind them just as Chloe pressed her back against the door. “Gee, and I wonder who made sure of that?”

Ladybug smiled sweetly. “What can I say, I know what looks good on you. You really should tell your friends about me.”

Chloe scoffed. “Of course I do. I get hounded at every party I go to.” She cleared her throat. “Ah, yes, darlings, a Dupain-Cheng original, truly stunning work, it’s an embarrassment that you don’t already have one in your closets.”

“Mm, keep complimenting my dresses, it’s very hot.”

The comment left Chloe laughing for the first time that evening. “That impatient for me to get home, huh?”

Ladybug chuckled and wrapped her arms around Chloe’s neck. “You know I don’t do well when I’m left all by myself. Besides, it’s my duty as a protector of Paris to rescue woebegone heroines from the tops of very tall towers.”

Chloe’s hands were sliding up and down Ladybug’s hips. “How chivalrous of you...”

“Thank you for recognizing it,” Ladybug winked. She tipped her head up. “You know, in those fairytales, the chivalrous knights usually get kissed by their princesses.”

“You’re very cheeky tonight.”

“Wonder who I get it from?”

“I have a few guesses,” Chloe laughed. “But I’m really enjoying it....”

Ladybug pressed a kiss to the side of Chloe’s neck, and Chloe instinctively sighed out. “I can be cheekier if you want.”

“Oh I do want....”

Ladybug licked her lips before she yanked Chloe down for a kiss, and it wasn’t until Ladybug was groaning into her mouth that Chloe realized just how desperately she needed to get out of here. It was as if Ladybug knew that Chloe wasn’t going to be going back to that dinner table because she was purposefully pulling out the combs from her hair, letting them drop to the floor, and raking her fingers messily through her up-do until her gloved fingers were hopelessly tangled in her hair. Chloe’s lipstick was probably smudging horribly, but she figured she’d already dipped in this far, didn’t make much of a difference to finish rubbing the rest of it off while she kissed across Ladybug’s jaw. Her fingers were digging into the fabric of Ladybug’s suit as Ladybug bit ever so gently on the skin right above her collarbone, sucking and kissing at the skin until Chloe pulled back with a laugh.

“You’re gonna leave a bruise there, you brat!”

Ladybug shrugged innocently. “Good. Now you can’t go back to the table.”

Chloe sighed in exasperation, but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. “Alright, so how are we doing this?”

Ladybug unlocked the door again, moved them into the hallway, and climbed halfway out the window. “You hang on tight and I whisk us far far away from here.”

Chloe wrinkled her nose. “Fine but no swinging tricks. I’m serious. That made me sick the last time.”

“Fine, fine, you party pooper.” Ladybug pointed to her back. “We’ll take the slow, scenic route.”

She slipped off her heels, stuffed them into her purse, and carefully climbed onto Ladybug’s back, looping her arms snugly around her neck. “I can’t believe you’re sneaking me out a window, Marinette. I feel like a teenager.”

Ladybug sighed. “Ah, I’ve always wanted to make people feel young again.” She took Chloe’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “Hold on tight, okay?”

Chloe buried her face in Ladybug’s hair, and grinned against the back of her neck. “Okay.”

#miraculous ladybug #chlonette #chloenette #chlobug #chloe bourgeois #marinette dupain-cheng #ladybug #chlonette fanfiction #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #my writing #femslash february 2017 #femslash february chlonette edition #rescue

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abadmeanman · 7 years

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Something that continues to bother me about "in which we establish the directory" is that marinette says "I don't want to have sex," aaaand... then they have sex. Usually with straight people saying stuff like that I guess they mean sex that involves a penis + a vagina or sex that involves penetration. But the sex they had meets both those criteria. Either way, that was sex. If that wasn't sex no people with similar genitals have ever had sex (which would make me a virgin 😱). (Continued...)

(Cont.)… I don’t know if you’re straight or where you’re coming from, but ya, the way you used the word sex there just felt really straight. Which is disappointing because porteboner tends to be really good about The Gay™. Also, where were the condoms in all this? Adrien and Marinette were about to have P in V sex before Marinette said she wasn’t ready and in none of that time were condoms ever involved. It’s important to include condoms within the narrative of any healthy sexual encounter.

This got long, so let’s see if I can get a read more in here.

There we go. So:

I see what you mean with this critique, and I’ll definitely grant that it’s coming from a pretty much straight cisboy perspective. I am like 95% straight, but I try to be good about this kind of thing (thanks for telling me that I’m doing okay!). That being said, my intention at the time, and my interpretation while rereading this scene was different than yours, and I’d like to give that here.

So, some setup. It’s been a running joke-slash-foundational conceit of the story that the “baseball metaphor” for hooking up has been replaced by events in the timeline of the French Revolution. I’m specifically talking about this, from chapter 4:

“Let’s do it like the French Revolution! So the Fall of the Bastille is kissing, the Reign of Terror is feeling up, the Directory is touching each other’s… uh…” Adrien blushed. “And First Consul Bonaparte is f…fout… fornicating.”

The baseball metaphor is obviously fucking worthless and biased towards a hetero cis experience, with a generous dash of the male gaze. That’s part of why I chose the French Revolution–if you’re going to see sexual acts as existing on a continuum, one with essentially infinite points and interpretations along the continuum is obviously better than first, second, third base and home plate. Sex is less orderly than the baseball metaphor, and like a few hundred words down from that quote, Mylene dismantles the concept that even the loose matching of Bastille = kissing, Reign of Terror = groping, falls apart, immediately. She cites a historical event that is objectively AFTER the revolution. So from the get-go, chapter 4, I establish that I’m going to be using this absurd metric.

Also, Nath brings up a working definition of “sex” and defines it like this in chapter 23:

“Never have I ever had sex. I mean, like, pelvis on pelvis sex. Whatever you figure counts. I-I’m a virgin, I guess is what I mean.” Presumably, pastries wielded by Alix didn’t count.

This is a construct, and I tried to make it very clear that I was aware of that, while still keeping the conceit of the French Revolution.

So, from Marinette and Adrien’s perspective, we’ve got a more or less working definition of capital-S Sex from within the story, twice, as well as the bullshit but widely-acknowledged-as-meaningful definition you get from societal superstructures.

What I meant when Marinette said “We… can’t have sex tonight” was taking those three things into account. French Revolution metaphor, Nath’s definition, and society at large. She’s thinking PIV sex, and I thought that was pretty clear in the context. I know it’s not perfect, but I also don’t think that I’m failing to think about this at all. The title of that chapter is “In which we establish the directory,” after all. That already places the sexual contact on a pre-defined continuum. I know it’s a flawed continuum, but it’s the one I’m using for story purposes, and we’re currently dealing with cis-hetero acts. What’s important is that she and Adrien are not defining what they do as sex.

I also don’t see them as about to have PIV sex–the way I meant that scene to read was “oh fuck our position slipped and while this is nice we really should put our respective pelvises in a different region from the other pelvis involved.” Here’s the scene:

In the midst of her ministrations, while their bodies had temporarily stopped mashing against each other, Adrien’s minute hand migrated from high noon to 6 o’clock. Slipped away from her belly, it nestled comfortably between Marinette’s legs, teasing her with its firmness right there on her personal bijou -bevel. She could feel the full length of him sliding gently back and forth across her lips, bringing a delightful direct coil of warmth to sudden life inside her.

So there was contact, but not penetration. Feels nice, but not First Consul Bonaparte, not to them. And it was accidental, and they stopped.

That was my intention when writing this scene, and looking back on it, I still think it works.

As far as condoms go, condom use is definitely going to be in the fic. I’m from Texas, but I’m not THAT from Texas.

The sexual encounters portrayed before chapter 26 in this fic have either been distant from the POV characters (the various hookups at Marinette’s party), accidental and clothed (Marinette accidentally straddling Adrien during brunch), or within a fluidbonded relationship (Marinette walking in on Alya and Nino). For those reasons, condoms weren’t explicitly mentioned. In chapter 26, neither Marinette nor Adrien went into the shower being like “hell yeah gonna have some unprotected hetero PIV intercourse”; using the definition of “sex” I described above, they both knew they were going to do something sexual, but not have penetrative sex. So, neither brought condoms.

Safe sex is incredibly important, and I’d like to think that I’m mostly modeling pretty good relationship and sexual practices in Porte-Boner. Not perfect, but that’s not what I’m going for. I’m not convinced that a trusting, established relationship that involves sharing sexual fluids requires condoms to be healthy, particularly if the relationship is monogamous.

This position of mine at least partially springs from the fact that I’ve been in a fluidbonded polyamorous relationship of three people until very recently. So because of that, my perspective may not be the same as yours. But I’m also not going to agree with your claim that “It’s important to include condoms within the narrative of any healthy sexual encounter.” Condoms are good, and valuable, and condom use should be encouraged. However, the absence of a condom does not automatically make a sexual encounter unhealthy. I’d rather see consensual, informed, birth-control-involving sex without a condom than any abusive relationship dynamic, no matter how much safer sex is involved. I’m trying to focus on the relationship here, not the mechanics of boning down. So that is my perspective. I’m talking within established, respectful, positive relationships here. Cruising for randos, you should definitely be using barrier protection.

Lastly, I apologize for taking a while to reply to this message. I got it right as my relationship was breaking apart, and I couldn’t really bring myself to address your many valid concerns in any great length. And because they were good and valid, I wanted to give them a good addressing.

I hope this helps you see where I’m coming from in Porte-Boner. Let me know if you’ve got further concerns.

#Porte-Boner #themostgayagenda #a bad mean man asks #safer sex #my writing #pulling back the bonercurtain #discourse? i guess?#not really

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spirit-science-blog · 3 years

Video

youtube

Is 2020 the New 2012?

“Judgment day and the end of the world is in our minds..and our minds are a dangerous place to be” -Kelly Cutrone.

Hey, hey, Remember when everyone said the world would end in 2012 and they made a movie about it and everything? And everyone was saying that there would be cataclysmic events like Massive fires, World War 3, plagues of locusts, floods, and mass civil unrest...leading to complete shutdown of all society?? Yeah, so uh funny story while we all know that didn’t happen in 2012, cause we’re all still here almost every prediction people made about how the world would end back then has pretty much come true for 2020. Wildfires exploded across Australia at the tail end of 2019 and were most influential in January. WW3? In January, after the assassination of Iranian general Qasem Soleimani, tensions between the US and Iran were at an all-time high, with attacks on the US Embassy in Baghdad sparking fears the next war could happen pretty soon. Swarms of locusts eating 1000s of crops and causing famine? February in Kenya. Flooding March in the UK. Civil unrest and anarchy in the streets? Mark another one-off for Apocalypse Bingo! Still wondering if we’ll get our hoaxed alien attack this year.

You really would be forgiven for thinking the Maya just got the math wrong on their calendar. Maybe the stonemason just had too much Peyote that day, who knows, But believe it or not, there is a conspiracy about this going around. Our current year 2020 is 2012, and it all has to do with the time that we adopted the Gregorian Calendar as opposed to older Julian one. Now Before we start, let’s just say, there are a few significant issues with this theory, the least of which is that different parts of the world adopted the Gregorian calendar at different times, so it wasn’t a universal thing that you can just calculate the math on and BANG - you’ve got yourself a day to lock yourself in your doomsday bunker with your mask and your Kool-ade... but we’ll get there soon.

So what is this whole thing about? Last month, a man named Paolo Tagaloguin, who claims to be a researcher/Fulbright scholar took to twitter (in a now-deleted post that he claimed was a joke) and did some somewhat questionable math and came up with a theory that said:

“We were technically in 2012. The number of days lost in a year due to the Gregorian Calendar shift is 11 days. For 268 years using the Gregorian Calendar (1752-2020) times 11 days = 2,948 days. 2,948 days / 365 days (per year) = 8 years”....

Which according to him, put Apocalypse II: Nibiru Boogaloo on the 21st of June 2020. Now it’s July, so that didn’t happen. As we said earlier, there are quite a few issues with his calculations that prove him wrong. To start with, Let’s get some background info. The Gregorian Calendar is essentially the most widely used calendar and dating system used in the world today. It splits a canonical year into 12 months, and spaces leap years to make the average year 365.2 days long, focusing predominantly on Earth’s revolution around the sun as a means of keeping time. If you live in the world today, chances are you at least know this dating system.

It was invented by Pope Gregory XIII and gradually replaced the much older Julian Calendar that was in use at the time, which some people say gave us April Fools day! See, aside from Christian influences - like changing how the lunar cycles were calculated by the church to get a more accurate date for Easter, and the time of the New Year, the Gregorian Calendar also shortened the average year by 0.0075 days to stop the drift of the calendar concerning the equinoxes. The Julian Calendar, though, was proposed by Julius Caesar around 46BC and was invented with the help of Greek Mathematics and astronomy and had been used up until 1582.

This is where we see the first issue with Tagaloguin’s theory. Not only does it not take into account leap years, but the date he used for its adoption (1752), is only the date that the New Calendar was adopted in Britain and its colonies (otherwise known as the area of the United States east of the Appalachian Mountains). Much of Europe (including a lot of Catholic countries), such as France, Spain, Lithuania, and much of the not-so-Holy Roman Empire had adopted it right from the start, though, in 1582. Some of the first records showed a funny glitch in the dates where Thursday 4th October 1582 was followed by Friday, 15 October 1582, the next day - seriously! Go on a calendar app and check it out. It’s amusing.

Arguments between Protestant Christians and Catholics, though, led to a delay in the Calendar taking off in the rest of the world, with some countries not even changing until the 18th Century! Which meant that they had to observe an additional leap year, which is where we get the 11 days to change from. The French and Spanish colonies in the US adopted the change when their home countries did in the 1500s, so, in short, the math is entirely wrong…

The other thing to consider is that the whole 2012 phenomenon was a huge misunderstanding. We’ve covered this on the channel before, but in a nutshell, the world was never going to “end,” at least, not in the sense of the movie cataclysms or anything. See, the calendar would reset at the end of the 13th Bak'tun - rather than end life on Earth entirely. If anything thinks of the Maya calendar like a car’s mileage counter, once it reaches 99,999,99, it just resets to 0...or 1 since we can’t have a year 0. The thing about the Maya is.. they LOVED their cycles. They thought everything was a cycle, which - if you’ve seen our episode called Cycles n Sine Waves, or ever read any of the Hermetic Writings - it makes sense that as things naturally move in waves, cycles appear to be built into the fabric of the cosmos. In Mesoamerican mythology, even the world itself went through 4 creations and re-creations before the gods got it right. Something about raining jaguars or giant floods kept messing everything up. Enlil, what have you got to say for yourself?

Anyway, my point is, did the Mayan calendar end on December 21st, 2012? Yeah technically. But they didn’t see it as an “ending,” once the Bak’tun reached its end, it would merely transition into a new phase, and trigger a kind of Rebirth for all of our cultures, the beginning of a new massive cycle of time. A lot of New Age beliefs saw this rebirth as a dawning of a new age of consciousness, where people would go through a period of great transition, leading to an overall higher knowledge for all of humanity, and we would eventually move into a new heart-centered age, and this was the beginning of that shift. Would this have been a period ending the Maya thought was wicked cool? You bet! The most significant period endings they experienced were Bak'tun endings. So it was a huge deal, just not a world-ending huge deal. Well, maybe it depends on how we describe it. Is it the end of our old way of life as we know it? Yeah, we could probably say that!

Given our current climate in 2020, it’s easy to look for energetic or spiritual excuses for everything that’s happening, and maybe there is something to be said about how we account for time. The energy is coming back around to clear out old ways and paradigms before moving into a new one. It’s interesting to see that almost everything that we thought would happen in 2012 is happening now. Almost like we didn’t learn the first time around, so we’re repeating the energy until we finally break through and change for the better.

You might be wondering why a crazy theory like this took off so quickly, despite its questionable math, well part of it also lies in Astrology. We covered the Astrology of Coronavirus earlier in another video, so definitely go check that out for some relevant Planetary Gossip..but the thing is Astrologers have been hyping up 2020 as a year of radical change for many many years now, thanks to the rare alignment of Saturn and Pluto on the 12th January, which was made more prominent by Jupiter coming in shortly after that, which is the angle we looked at in our COVID Astrology episode. While no one could have predicted how epic a catastrophe Corona would be, we did get at least one apocalyptic cataclysm! Many Astrology charts predicted that this year would mark history by challenging us in some pretty extreme ways.

This is one of those things that I’d love to see some scientists take more seriously. At the same time, Astrology is often ridiculed as a superstition. How is it that so many astrologers have been telling us about the significant change of 2020 for decades in advance, hitting the nail on the head perfectly?

According to Chani Nicholas, right from the beginning, January’s conjunction was a scary start, as it’s episode coincided last time with both World Wars and the economic recession of the 80s, so we were in for it from the starting line along with 2 Mercury retrogrades this year, and the latter being during the next election some more stuff is bound to go down before we’re through the 2020 woods. It’s not all doom and gloom, though, given Neptune's position, which suggests we’re entering a period where we will feel more interconnected and understanding of each other than ever before. And with Venus’ recent retrograde in Gemini, we have an energy of renewal and reassessment with relationships, both with others and ourselves. This is a time of apocalyptic matters - and if you recall from one of our flagship original spirit science episodes - apocalypse translates to a “lifting of the veil.” So 2020 is a time where the truth is coming out, we see all of the chaos of human consciousness with crystal clear vision, as the truth comes to the surface, for it to be healed.

Even better though… 2021 is supposed to be GREAT. With the conjunction of Saturn and Pluto in Aquarius on the winter solstice, we’ll be entering a period of a fresh start, especially about science and innovation. Chani seems to think that the new energy will probably guide many industries to change in ways that will make them practically unrecognizable. Some new and surprising concepts and innovations will be coming out in how we live in harmony with the Earth and her resources. Maybe we’ll even see the electric human blackfly drone machine come to the market and Hey, we might even start laying the groundwork for our Spirit Center next year, we’ve got some huge plans for that, but we’ll have to save that discussion for another time.

So, If the 21st of June 2020 wasn’t the end of the world. Did anything interesting happen on that day at all? There wasn’t anything as dramatic as tidal waves or volcanos going off and destroying everything around it, But it was world Yoga day! And world selfie day, and world optimism day, and indigenous peoples day (yay) and well you get the picture, we made it into a lot of different things. Astronomically it was pretty cool too; there was a solstice new moon solar eclipse in cancer! Only parts of Central and Eastern Africa and some parts of southwest Asia could see the eclipse, But still, someone somewhere probably thought the world was ending.

So long story short Is 2020 the new 2012? If we see 2012 as a time where the energy shifted and brought us into a new age, then Kinda! A lot of what’s going on at the moment in the world is dramatically changing our cultural climate and collective consciousness. The riots especially are uprooting long-held old systems of oppression and making way for new, more progressive energies and mindsets, which is fantastic. Is the world going to end at some point this year? No more than it did 2012.

When a cycle ends, the calendar is meant to be reset to the beginning and start. It's intended to be a time of change and renewal, which 2020 certainly is. Spiritually speaking, perhaps the new energies introduced to us in 2012 have finally integrated into our society and are shaking things up, and we’re only just feeling it now. Like in 2012, we are presented with a great opportunity, if 2020 is the actual 2012, let's rebirth some stuff for real this time.

And if you need some help getting your cosmic rebirth on, allow me to share the 7-Day Transformation with you. It only takes a week to shift your entire reality completely! Here’s what someone else said when they went through it!

Thanks for watching, and we’ll see you next time!

#spirituality #spirit science #mystery school #ascension #article

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greenwaterskeeter · 4 years

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“I don’t want to sit up here tonight and lecture you, I want you to be politically engaged with these ideas and thinking about your own politics. Realistically, what I’m offering you is a challenge to your own frameworks of justice and “good enough”.

“I posit that you have to decide which of these ideas you are pursuing politically? Are you interested in reconciliation or are you fighting for decolonization? The words aren’t interchangeable. We have to stop using them that way.”

Full transcription under cut:

Zhaawanong Noodin Ikwe ndishnikaaz. Michif-Nêhiyaw endow. Gaawiin ningikenimaasii nindoodem. Kisiskatchewanisipi nindoonjibaa. Hamilton nindaa.

My name is ******. My Indian name is Southern Wind Woman. I am Michif-Cree. I do not know my clan. I am from Saskatchewan (Meadow Lake, specifically) and I now live in Dish with One Spoon Territory in Hamilton now. I announce my name in Anishinaabemowin because I received it in an Ojibwe Sundance lodge, a community here in these territories I have been accepted into. I have mixed French, Scottish and Swedish heritage. Furthermore, I identify as Queer/Two Spirit interchangeably (she/her), I’m an organizer, a proud feminist, and an anarchist.

Over the years I’ve been intimately involved in a wide range of movements, from animal liberation to land defense struggles, issues of Indigenous sovereignty, the fight against patriarchy, and push back against gentrification. I see all these struggles as connected.

I want to take a second to reflect on knowledge and the creation of it in our communities. What you will hear me speak on tonight is a work in progress and, you can be sure, that six months from now I’ll probably have different feelings and new thoughts about it. Ideas aren’t static. It is also important to acknowledge that our individual realities limit our ability to comprehend the diverse networks of knowledge that inform other people’s lives. Tonight, I am up here speaking and what I say will be attributed to me. What is lost is the hundreds of hours of support, reflection, and political debate that other comrades and friends have engaged in with me.

Knowledge is not created by individuals, but by communities.

Because I believe these things, I’ve decided that this will be my last speaking event of the year. I’ve been honoured with a lot of opportunities to share my opinion lately, but it is now my time to sit, listen, and reflect. And there is no better time to practice that humility than winter.

I’d just like to preface this by saying that some of the things I’m going to say tonight are going to be challenging, maybe even upsetting, for some people. If it is, I apologize. But I was also offered tobacco to speak tonight and so I have to speak my truth.

I was asked to come and speak to you tonight about reconciliation. I think it is important for me to begin this talk by telling you that I have no interest in reconciliation (at this time) and that I think the concept is a state-led smoke screen used to advance a more sophisticated policy of assimilation. I want to talk a little bit about reconciliation, decolonization, the difference between the two, and the role of the state in all of this.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was formed in 2007 after residential school survivors won the largest class-action lawsuit in Canadian history. They modelled it after the post-apartheid Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa, which was fitting, seeing as how South Africa looked to the Canadian reservation infrastructure for inspiration in setting up their own racist and segregated system.

As most of us know, the TRC concluded with 94 actionable measures that the government, educational institutions, and individuals could take to pursue reconciliation between settler and Indigenous communities. Universities started implementing new educational curriculum about colonization. Trudeau started wearing shorter sleeves so we could all see his Haida raven tattoo. Land acknowledgements began popping up everywhere. The government of Canada recently released their 10 Points of Official Reconciliation, which is a document that I will refer back to during my talk.

I’m honoured to sit here tonight and tell you that reconciliation – as we know it – is an impossible lie.

Official Canadian reconciliation centers on accepting the past, apologizing, and moving forward together. It doesn’t necessitate physical reparations for the history of colonization. In fact, it discourages that sort of rhetoric as divisive. Counterproductive. Difficult.

There exists a fundamental problem here, because settler-colonialism doesn’t exist in the past. Its violence is pervasive and ongoing, right now, tonight, everywhere we look. Reconciliation is the erasure of this current settler-colonial violence.

Reconciliation – as a term – is about resolving a conflict, returning to a state of friendly relations. It can also mean the bringing together of two positions so as to make them compatible.

Decolonization – on the other hand – is about repealing the authority of the colonial state and redistributing land and resources. It also means embracing and legitimizing previously repressed Indigenous worldviews.

Decolonization isn’t a light word. We have to think about what colonization is to understand it: the complete administrative and economic domination of a people and place. Repealing that is a big deal.

Nevertheless, you will often see these two words thrown around almost interchangeably, especially in the university context where folks using them aren’t actually actors in struggle. I would argue that this is inappropriate.

The occupying and dominating force in our context is the state of Canada. I don’t see the creation of the Canadian state as coinciding with the signing of the British North America Act in 1867, but as a slow process of institution-building that began at first settlement. Confederation was just the official recognition of that process.

The state – we use this word a lot, but we aren’t always using it with an understanding of what it is. Tonight when I use the term, I mean a state is a compulsory political organization with a centralized government that maintains a monopoly on the legitimate use of force within a specific territory, mapped out within the confines of borders. This is what Canada is. Secondary are the public declarations of love for poutine and jokes about affinity for beavers.

Zoos are colonial institutions as well. And they used to hold humans. True fact, you can look it up. A lot of Indigenous humans, and Africans. Trying to shed the baggage of that racist past, they later rebranded themselves as educational and conservation organizations. But a zoo will always be a zoo.

Canada was created in order to govern, exploit, and expand the territories swindled, settled, and stolen from Indigenous peoples of this land. That wasn’t a by-product, it was its primary function. It still is. It always will be. It can’t escape that.

So how can the Canadian state reconcile with Indigenous peoples?They certainly can’t “go back” to a state of friendly relations because there never existed such a time. Reconciliation can only mean eliminating the conflict by enmeshing Indigenous and settler communities, which is the second version of that definition that I shared, making conflicting positions compatible.

This means assimilating Indigenous peoples by having them give up their claim to sovereignty in exchange for the promise of the economic equality within Canada. And it means Canadian people get to devour Indigenous ideas and symbols into their own settler stories, their own canadiana. This is the only path possible under the Canadian state.

The return of land and the power to govern said lands could never be possible under this structure. The resource-based frameworks that define land and water under the logic of Capitalism could never be reconciled with giving away so much money to Indigenous communities. The state-based frameworks that define territory under the nation-state system could never be reconciled with giving away so much power. It just couldn’t happen.

I don’t want to sit up here tonight and lecture you, I want you to be politically engaged with these ideas and thinking about your own politics. Realistically, what I’m offering you is a challenge to your own frameworks of justice and “good enough”.

I posit that you have to decide which of these ideas you are pursuing politically? Are you interested in reconciliation or are you fighting for decolonization? The words aren’t interchangeable. We have to stop using them that way.

I also don’t see the two ideas as compatible or complimentary. They aren’t part of some mythical umbrella of Left progressivism. One is calling for the continuation of the Canadian state and the other for its abolition.

This goes beyond simply saying that you are fighting for decolonization. Your politics matter. If you believe in Canadian democracy, if you believe the system works but is just broken, if you believe that voting in another electoral party candidate could truly make a difference, then you aren’t interested in decolonization.

Decolonization doesn’t just mean anti-capitalist, it means anti-state. The first of these opinions is relatively uncontroversial and accepted in our activist circles, it’s the second that usually gets people.

To those who feel as though what I’m saying is too binary, that there is still good to be done under the system of a Canadian state, I offer you the logic of Canada’s 10 Points of Official Reconciliation and ask you to ponder the question of “rights”. Let’s look together at some of these points.

1) Canada recognizes Indigenous rights to self-determination.

2) Canada sees reconciliation as fundamental to Section 35 of the Constitution Act.

3) Canada recognizes it needs to act with integrity.

4) Canada sees Indigenous self-government as part of the federalism of the provinces

5) Canada says it needs to uphold the treaties.

(Six and seven I’ll come back to.)

8) Canada desires to construct a new fiscal relationship.

9) Canada recognizes that reconciliation is flexible.

10) Canada recognizes that Indigenous peoples are all different.

I chose not to read out the expanded points of this list because I think it is a generally useless and boring document. A perfect example of the bureaucratic skill of using an abundance of words to say absolutely nothing. But I would encourage you to peruse it on your own, if you feel so inclined.

Pay particular attention to the careful phrasing to describe where Indigenous people fit into the imagination of this post-reconciliation utopia. For all the fancy wording, there is no promise of sovereignty, only money that will bring Indigenous people up to the standard of living of Canadians, so that they are readily available and willing to be absorbed into the project of Canada.

I give you a quote from point 2 to illustrate this:

“Reconciliation is an ongoing process through which Indigenous peoples and the Crown work cooperatively to establish and maintain a mutually respectful framework for living together, with a view to fostering strong, healthy, and sustainable Indigenous nations within a strong Canada.”

There are different incarnations of this subtle assertion of Canadian supremacy in points 2, 3, 4, 8, & 10. Now let’s go back to points 6 & 7, arguably the most important in this document.

Point 6 talks about securing the free, prior, and informed consent of Indigenous peoples in regards to their land when Canada wants to take it, develop it, or exploit it. This wordy section is full of phrases like consensus and consent, collaboration and consultation: it actually has all of those in one little section.

Point 7 – a much shorter section – immediately revokes that false commitment. It says that, consultation is an aspiration, but that the control of land supposedly held by Indigenous peoples can be overridden in any situation beneficial to the state of Canada.

Indigenous peoples, even under the banner of reconciliation, do not have the right to say no to the state of Canada. The right to say no is critical to the realization of sovereignty, of consent, of freedom.

But it should come as no surprise to Canadians who are paying attention. States operate on the illusion of rights. The government has the right to seize your property too. It can expropriate any piece of land that it needs to serve its goals of economic expansion, whether that be for a dam or an airport or a highway or a pipeline.

This is because rights “given” to you by the government can be taken away by the government. These rights aren’t real. This is fake freedom.

It is my belief that there can be no reconciliation that recognizes the self-determination of Indigenous peoples so long as the state of Canada exists. Once embraced, this conclusion leads you towards a radical and revolutionary politic in search of answers. Though I I will admit I remain skeptical as an anarchist, I spent a good deal of time listening and trying to envision what Communist comrades meant when they spoke of revolution.

I asked them where Indigenous nations fit into their hope for a proletariat-dictated state. I asked them how this new world would make space for Indigenous worldviews or land-based spiritualities. I asked them how they intended to share power and return land.

Time and time again I was convinced – through their insufficient or nonexistent answers to those questions – that their proletariat-dictated state would be no better for the people or the earth than the liberal-capitalist one we have now.

Many times they would tell me that the return of land was paramount to upholding the justice of the new communist state, but their mechanisms for handing back that land were missing. In this new state, where land was to be publicly seized and redistributed among working class settlers, where was the room to authoritatively give away huge sections of it to sovereign entities without sparking massive settler-entitlement-provoked unrest?

Many times they countered that argument by saying there was more than enough Crown Land to give back to Indigenous nations that they wouldn’t have to give away cityscapes or farm land, but they fail to realize that much of that Crown Land is the site of massive resource wealth. An industrial communist state – which we could almost definitely expect – would need to produce prosperity to ensure a counterrevolution didn’t quickly overtake its new central authority. Wouldn’t it then need resources in order to keep the people happy and also to fuel the grand people’s military?

These are all huge problems, and the picture they paint doesn’t make me very enthusiastic for the coming red revolution, but most importantly, they don’t begin to address the fundamental conflict. The same conflict that the Canadian state faces now in its own reconciliatory rhetoric.

Even if this land known as Canada were to be chopped in half and half returned to Indigenous nations, the relationship between a dense, centralized state and a diverse, heterogeneous group of communities will always remain a gross imbalance of power. There is no nation-to-nation relationship, it’s one of nation-to-nations.

In address of this problem, Communists always point to the same tired solutions that Canadians do. Insisting that Indigenous people will form new federations like the AFN which will help to liaise between the parties. I am not inspired by this solution.

Since the early days of this colonial project, settlers have been trying to figure out how Indigenous governance works. And when they did figure it out, they didn’t like it. It took too long. It was too fluid. And it didn’t govern the principles of property and ownership in a way conducive to their mission.

With the realization of the Indian Act, settlers set up neo-colonial governments called Band Councils to replace traditional governance systems. These were elected positions, based on representative democracy mirroring the settler system. They considered this and only this legitimate and they enforced that legitimacy through coercive authority. Often at gunpoint.

Over time, with the Canadian state swelling to the unimaginable size that it has now through the pillaging of stolen resources, many Indigenous nations tried to gain legitimacy by forming associations based on euro-centric modes of government. The Allied Nations of BC, the Indian Association of Alberta, the Métis Nation of Ontario (of which I am a part), culminating in the UN-inspired Assembly of First Nations (AFN).

The AFN doesn’t represent the needs and desires of Indigenous people just in the same way the Canadian government doesn’t represent Canadians. Representational democracy is a far cry from “rule by the people”. Pipeline Perry is busy handing over Eagle Staffs to Justin Trudeau and thanking him for his charity while the rest of the assembly works with the RCMP to out land defenders across Turtle Island.

Now, I don’t blame our elders and community leaders for trying to do good for Indigenous peoples through the only system allowed by Canada – the current occupying force. But it’s not a secret that these systems also breed corruption. For as many good and decent people there are in these positions, when people are kept powerless on purpose, there will always be those who crave the authority of the colonizer.

But, as long as there have been the forcefully implemented representative democracy of band council, the false nations of the MNO, and the coerced federalism of bodies like the AFN, there have been Indigenous people and communities fighting to dismantle them and return to systems of traditional governance. Smaller in size and locally based on belonging in a community.

Which brings me to anarchism.

Anarchism is a political philosophy – some might say a beautiful idea – that believes in self-governed societies based on voluntary association with one another. It advocates for non-hierarchical decision making, direct participation in those decisions by affected communities, and autonomy for all living persons. Furthermore, it leaves space for the valuation of non-human entities beyond their monetary worth or usefulness to human beings.

My Indigenous teachings have communicated to me that our communities are important, but so are we as individuals. Traditional ways saw decision making as a participatory process, based on consensus, where communities made choices together. My teachings tell me that the land can offer us what we need, but never to take more than that. I see these ideas as fundamentally compatible.

Anarchism envisions a world where there exists a system of land stewardship, but not ownership. A world where there are territories, but not borders. Although. sticking with my conceptual tool, I could call this association between diverse communities of settlers and Indigenous people a nations-to-nations relationship, it wouldn’t be quite accurate either.

Anarchists don’t believe in nations. But I would argue neither do Indigenous folks. The word nation is a funny one, imposed on Indigenous communities as the most comprehensible label for their form of political organization. It’s useful in some contexts, often it’s not, and it has never quite fit.

Indigenous communities used to meet each spring to negotiate territories, form new agreements, and redistribute resources. Not all, of course, sometimes they just burned down their neighbors houses when they wanted them to move out. I am not here tonight to romanticize some pre-contact utopia free from oppression and conflict.

But the conception of their “nations” was far different than the Westphalian model followed and imposed by Western society. Decisions were made by communities. Resources were shared. Membership was fluid and adoption common. Leaders were seen as spokespeople or advocates more than authorities. Positions of honour were given to those with life-long demonstrations of service, wisdom, and integrity. Those positions were also revocable. It’s possible to reconcile this with the anarchist idea of legitimate authority. This wasn’t anarchy exactly as we know it, but it was close.

It figures then that both liberal and Marxist theories have found a story to explain away the validity of such societies. Liberals were fond of social Darwinist theories of societal evolution that saw my ancestors as stuck in a stage of savagery. Marxists preferred their theory of historical materialism to claim that Indigenous societies were just a form of primitive communism, which would need to evolve through capitalism to ever reach the more respectable industrial communism they imagine.

I’d like to challenge this framework and, instead, offer a circular view of history embraced by my Indigenous teachings. I don’t think we need to “go back” along a linear timeline of so-called progression. There is no going back. But I want to return to the ideas of my ancestors and see it as moving forward, or maybe just as movement, directionless.

I’d like to see an anarchy of my people and the anarchy of settlers (also my people) enacted here together, side by side. With an equal distribution of power, each pursuing healthy relationships, acting from their own ideas and history. Just as the Two Row imagined.

I would like to see the centralized state of Canada dismantled. I’d like to see communities take up the responsibility of organizing themselves in the absence of said central authority. Community councils meeting weekly to discuss the needs of the community and the limitations of the land to provide for those needs, with a renewed emphasis on staying within those limits. Decisions made on consensus, with a more active participation from all persons. Participation made more accessible by the lessening of work necessary with the return to a subsistence economy rather than one of accumulation. I’d like to see more conversation, more cooperation, more shared production. A system that may have regional communication and collaboration, but always with an emphasis on the primacy of the community to determine its own needs and values.

I think beautiful things would follow from these changes naturally. I think that if it were up to communities to decide whether it was worth it to open a gravel pit in their territory if it meant risking their only water source, we would see less gravel pits. The violence of centralized authority means creating sacrifice zones without a thought.

Even in this lovely future, there would still be conflict because conflict is a constant and that’s okay. Not all newly sovereign communities – Indigenous or settler – would immediately institute reciprocal relationships with the planet because, as we know, there are plenty of Indigenous capitalists out there alongside settler capitalists.

But the new relationship to place and focus on interdependence will give settlers a chance to genuinely form a new connection to this land themselves. To adopt their own traditions and values that deal with the ethics of consumption and growth.

Over time, I think we would see the blending together of communities of settlers and Indigenous folks who committed themselves to the same ideas. The love of land would bring some people closer. The new site of conflict would be less based on a racialized claim to land and more based on defending a worldview that calls for its defense.

This. This point is where I think the word reconciliation could be used between our communities.

I identify as Michif-Cree. And I always list my other European ancestry when I speak to people. Sometimes other Indigenous folks have asked me why I don’t just claim myself as nêhiyaw-iskwêw (a Cree woman). But I tell them I want to find ways to honour my mother’s ancestors as well. And it was important to my grandfather that we remember that we were Métis, and to be proud of it.

I am proud to be Métis. The Cree used to call us “Otipemisiwak”, which means those who govern themselves. My direct ancestors and their communities waged a commendable resistance against the early Canadian state, carried in whispers as the Red River Rebellion. They lived a hard life on the margins of society and paid dearly for their resistance, surviving as squatters for almost 60 years. They called them the Road Allowance People.

To be Métis means I walk in two worlds. I consider it a gift. I didn’t always think that, but I do now.

I learn so much from my political community in Hamilton, constantly expanding my ideas and challenging me to take bigger risks. I learn so much from my ceremony families at New Credit, Chippewa of the Thames, and Kipawa digging deep into my healing and my responsibilities.

Sometimes, I wish I could bring these two communities together more. I think they both have things to learn from the other. But it’s hard.

It takes a constant vigilance to both urge my settler friends to reconnect with land and spirit and to guard against them assuming too much. I love the phrase, “becoming Indigenous to place”, but I still can’t bring myself to use it. It’s too dangerous, people are too irresponsible.

The thing is, I don’t think settlers need to co-opt Indigenous worldviews or to start using our forms of governance. I really think anarchism can provide us with a political system parallel and harmonious. A set of ideas that can also allow for us to acknowledge the interdependence of the earth and to form new values based on that sacred connection.

Again, it’s not about going back. It’s about taking the knowledge that has survived and using it to create a more beautiful and just future. For all of us.

The Canadian state cannot reconcile with Indigenous communities. But you can, as individuals. It starts with you making choices. Autonomously. With conviction.

Maybe you decide tonight that you still believe in supporting Canadian state-led reconciliation, regardless of what I said. Okay. But own it. Don’t make yourself out to be a revolutionary. Because your ideas aren’t.

Maybe you decide to leave here tonight and take your politics a little more seriously. Or maybe you already are an anarchist and everything I’ve said was a reminder or a validation. To you, I say remember your politics and choose your allies carefully.

Saying you support Indigenous sovereignty doesn’t mean backing every Indigenous person on every project. There are plenty of Indigenous misogynists and ladder-climbing politicians out there, and you don’t do me any favours by helping them gain power. Fight for liberatory ideas, not for nations or bloodlines.

We do this all the time. There are Indigenous people out there who oppose pipelines and those who support them, but we align ourselves with the resistance, so we are making choices already. Own it. It’s okay. It’s good to fight for the land and for freedom.

This also means you have to do your homework. Understand what struggles are about and know who is participating in them. Get to know those people. Build relationships. Build meaningful relationships outside of the occupation, as friends. It can’t start from a place of white guilt. Don’t get swept up in your own settler redemption story.

Remember that fighting for a future that sees justice for Indigenous communities is not just done as comrades in their struggles. It should be a politic you live every day. You can do this without speaking on their behalf. Be thoughtful. And creative. And, whenever possible, just work to undermine and attack the Canadian state in all of your work. That is the work of decolonization. And it’s where you will find your own liberation too. This is your government, not theirs, and it shouldn’t be their responsibility to tear it down.

Maarsii. Thank you. That’s all I have to say.

#reconciliation #decolonization #i really recommend reading in full #'nourishing' is the word that comes to mind #i found this from someone posting the link here but that link seems to be broken now

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