#still if u asked me to run away.. i'd go easily
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i love when my mom goes to bed and says "sing as loud as you want."
#I HAD A LIFE HERE BEFORE YOU BUT NOW IT'S BURNIN'.#i know i know better.#you're ignorin' me.#still if u asked me to run away.. i'd go easily#jen singing#jen talking to herself
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❛ boyfriend!jungwon headcanons.
▸ ִֶָ tags [ boyfriend ] jungwon x reader, fluff + mentions of kissing + cute wonnie + just a happy relationship + mentions of petnames. warnings! && possible warning : very brief (2) mentions of marriage + mentions of jealousy / possessiveness. ✿ 0.6k words —
## HEADCANONS UNDER THE CUT !
won is very . . . loveable
he's super affectionate & loveydovey, he does any & everything to show how deep his love for you runs
dates with him are usually full of spontaneity. quick & fun picnics, a playful movie night with takeout
out of all of enhypen, i think jungwon is the second most type to date-to-marry (after mr. husband material park jongseong). so while he's very fun and playful, he's serious about you too
he wants you to know that he sees a future with you and if you don't see that with him, what's the point?
likes to keep polaroids of you scattered across his room's walls
collects the silliest little trinkets & souvenirs whenever the group goes someplace new, only to bring them back to you
the type of bf to text you at 3am and ask if you wanna raid the nearest corner store
kisses you very often. as a greeting, as a goodbye, as a reward, bc you look cute, he literally just loves kissing you
doesn't get jealous easily but so so so clingy when he does ,, will pull you towards him and refuse to let go
so so so so caring, smothers you with all the love in the world whenever you're feeling down :(
petnames include: lovey & pretty baby
likes to sleep with his head on your chest so that he can hear the rhythm of your heartbeat <3
definitely randomly calls you at all times of the day, just saying he misses you
^^ "i called you earlier why didn't you answer :(" "bc i'd literally just left your place" "so..????"
he's like ur MY lover u need to be attached to my hip at all times bc ur my baby !!!!!!
and he's so real for that honestly
i think he to an extent feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness for you and because of that, he tends to overthink ab if even the smallest things he does are affecting you negatively
constantly making sure you're happy/content in your relationship, asking if there's anything else you'd like for him to do
he's just super careful with you
nd so supportive oh em gee !! if ur an idol like him, he's at every single show he can make it to. cheering you on, shouting "thats my baby 🫵"
if you're interested in smthn else/neither of you are idols, he's still definitely supporting you in whatever interest you have
constantly complimenting you and praising how your brain works. he admires everything about you
sometimes buys stuff in a bigger/smaller size so that he has an excuse to wear it and then give it to you
^^ "oh it doesn't really fit me so here you go :]" knowing damn well he just wants you to smell like him
definitely competitive when it comes to you. "oh yeah? well my lover can do this and this"
forever seeking any reasons to make you feel good about yourself
likes when you play with his hair after a long day or even sing to him, ironically.
really just enjoys the sound of your voice
would love to adopt a bunch of cats and grow old with you <3
never is the one to end any contact with you first. oh you guys are on the phone? better hang up first bc he isn't. won't even pull from a hug first, and would run out of oxygen if it meant keeping his lips on yours instead of resorting to pulling away
sees himself marrying you has thought about it plenty of times and voiced his ideas for the wedding, resulting in teasing from the members
eats ingredients out of your food that he knows you don't enjoy so you won't have to pick the pieces out !!
likes being called honey
need him to be my boyfriend immediately
mywons © 2023 ## please do not plagiarize my works.
#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enha x reader#enhypen fanfiction#jungwon x reader#jungwon x you#jungwon x y/n#yang jungwon#jungwon boyfriend headcanons#jungwon#bf!jungwon#bf!yangjungwon#🫀 ky's works#jungwon drabbles#jungwon reactions#enhypen jungwon#enhypen jungwon x reader
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u have made posts telling about your aac you use... would u b willing to share images of how you have it set up and maybe give tips for people working on making their own aac?
I would love to but I think it may give away my anonymity, since I like to share pictures of my different pages. I can share some details and organizing tips though! This isn't anything comprehensive, I think I'd need to spend a lot more time on that, but hopefully this is helpful for someone. For context, I use TD Snap Lite :)
I'll include a list of different word categories at the bottom under the cut, so if you're looking for types of words to focus on, you can skip to there!
Organization part 1
I keep all my commonly used words and folders for other words on my quickfires page, starting with basic communication words (yes/no, who/what/where, etc) and folders (conversation phrases, short responses, nouns, verbs, etc).
Then I have commonly used descriptors, connector words, actions, and nouns. All these are broad words like "thing" or "person," "and" or "because," and "go" and "fix." Even if I didn't have a button for a specific concept, I would still be able to describe it, like "the thing that is mine."
I organize the different buttons in rows on the same page, and try to group similar words together, that way I can find them easily.
I started with buttons for different bADLs (basic activities of daily living), which are bathing, dressing, grooming/hygiene, eating, toileting, and transferring/movement. Then I went to activities that I do every day, like studying, doing housework, or watching TV.
The idea is that I would be able to get through a whole day and be able to describe what I want, what I need, my activities, and what I don't want or need (the ability to say no is important, even for little things!)
Organization part 2
What words I have is important, but so is how I make sure I can find them easily. With TD Snap you can give buttons custom colors and custom border colors, so I use those to organize types of words, and types within those types (so verbs versus nouns, and then people-nouns versus object-nouns)
I also put the most commonly used words towards the right side of the screen, since I'm right handed and that means they'll be easiest to access.
I try to use pastels so I can read the labels, and I edit the text size of all buttons so I can see the symbol and label well. With descriptors, I try to group similar ones together, and group ones that have "opposites" either right next to each other or one above the other (words like up and down, or inside and outside).
Finding gaps
The easiest way for me to figure out what buttons I'm missing is by using my AAC when I'm near full spoons and can think about language well, like now. That way I know what I'm missing, and I can make a button and organize it in the moment without it taking much energy. Usually I'm missing different categories of words, like colors, or words to describe time.
Here's a bunch of word categories under the cut, starting with "essentials" and then moving on to common non-essentials! Feel free to ask me to include any other ideas
BADLs
Bathing (shower, bath, sponge bath, and related words you use for bathing)
Dressing (getting dressed, getting undressed, picking out clothes, words for different types of clothes)
Grooming/hygiene (brushing teeth, flossing teeth, brushing/combing hair, trimming hair, dyeing hair, cleaning piercings, washing face, shaving, makeup)
Eating/drinking (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, meal, types of food you eat, spoon, fork, knife, chopstick, bowl, plate, mug, water, warm beverages, napkins, and any other words you use for eating/drinking)
Toileting (bathroom, stall, toilet, sink, washing hands, soap, toilet paper, menstrual products, changing toileting equipment, and any other words)
Transferring/Movement (any mobility aids you use, transferring to/from mobility aids, terms for your aids, walk, run, jog. I included transportation words like "drive" and "car" in my section for this, but that's not necessary)
Essential communication
Yes (and variations)
No (and variations)
Maybe
Something else
I don't know
I need
I don't need
I want
I don't want
options for basic needs, so you can say "I need" and "use the bathroom" (eating, drinking, sleeping, waking, showering/bathing, using the bathroom, dental care, hair care, getting dressed, getting undressed, changing menstrual products, changing medical equipment, and transferring to/from mobility aids)
I consent
I do not consent
I revoke consent
Leave
Stay
Help
Fringe vocabulary for everyday activities and emergencies
Emergency words/phrases (I need a doctor, etc)
Personal info (name, age, etc)
Disability/mental health/medical terms that apply to you
Parts of the body
Types of injury/medical issues
Places you go
People you live with
People you interact with often
Pets names
Neighbors names
Carer or staff name(s)
Important belongings and things you use every day
Everyday hobbies (bike, watch show, etc)
Everyday to-do list activities (do laundry, shower, etc)
Action words (things one can do)
Common nouns (persons, places, things, and ideas)
Connector words (and, to, since, etc)
Feelings (positive, neutral, and negative)
Descriptor words
Colors
Direction
Size
Shape
Days of the week
Months
Seasons
Numbers
Describing amount (some, many, a little, few, all, none)
Describing time (then, now, before, after)
Temperature
Weather
Difficulty
Age
Texture
Personal opinion descriptors (nasty, beautiful, boring)
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IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT - Lee Heeseung
Finally wrote some angst hehe hope u enjoy !!!
WARNINGS: Some mature language (ig?), small makeout (?) TELL ME IF THERES MORE !!!
KEEP IN MIND English isn't my first language so sorry of there's any grammar or typo mistake <3
masterlist
Silence filled the room as we kept staring in each other's eyes. My eyes glistening in the moonlight as they started back at him with shock. How could I be so stupid. I ruined everything. Way to go Y/n...
_______________________
Lee Heeseung.
The one and only heartthrob between the ladies and my best friend since childhood. I'd watch him collect girls with only one look their way and then drop them as soon as he wasn't interested anymore. I wasn't a big fan of what he does but I couldn't do anything. Throughout the years, becoming closer and closer I couldn't just not devolop feelings for him.
It really was hard not to. I've always had a crush on Lee Heeseung. He was perfect in every way other than the fact that he was a player.
When his long-term girlfriend broke up with him, so sudden that he wasn't expecting it, nor was I, I was with him through his heartbreak. I was always there for him. I was actually so happy he broke up with her, yeah guilt ate me up but it hurt me seeing him with someone that wasn't me. From that night on our bond got bigger, and that's how I painfully watched Heeseung turn into a player.
And every time he felt like he needed someone, no matter the time or the place, with one call from him I would always be there and every time it happens I fall harder and harder to the point where it just hurts. It hurts so bad knowing after the night he would go back to whoring around with girls, not noticing that there's someone that loves him dearly next to him.
And now, here I am. In the middle of the night, in his room. He called, crying and I didn't waste a second getting my keys and driving to his place. I had a spare key so I got in easily and found him in his room, on his bed, with salty tears running down his beautiful futures. I also didn't think twice before rushing over to him and hugging him tight, holding him close as always. I sigh and hold back tears from falling.
"It's gonna be okay." I cupped his cheeks and looked him in the eyes. His bambi, red, swollen eyes sparking in the moonlight. His lips parted as he was catching his breath from all the crying. The urge to kiss him was building up in me but... was it worth the risk? I didn't want to risk anything with him. Our friendship, the bond between us, but it was hard fighting back. Eyes traveling to his lips and with a soft smile I leaned in, capturing his lips with mine.
After a while of him not kissing back he pulled me away as he stood up from the bed. Now tears were building up in my eyes as I also stood up after him. How stupid of me. There goes the person I love...
"Hee I'm so sorry, I-I don't know what go into me." The tears had already fell. His eye staring at me in shock, his tears were now dried but his eyes still glistening. The way he was looking at me I really thought this was the end of our friendship. He didn't say anything, just stared back at my crying self. Please say something please...
And as if he could hear the pleads in my mind, his soft voice spoken up.
"Don't do this Y/n... please." he said as he approached me. I shook my head as I looked down. "I can't Heeseung, I can't hide anymore. Do you know how much it hurts me?" I finally said. He sighed, still looking at me. "Y/n you can't." he says soflty. "Why Heeseung? Tell me. What do they have that I don't?" I ask, trying so hard to not let the tears get in the way of me speaking.
He titled his head at me and smiled. Lifting my chin up with his fingers, I once again stared into his eyes. "You have so much that they don't Y/n." his voice a whisper as he continued. "They're nothing compared to you love. Nothing." "Then why Heeseung...?" I wanted answers. I was desperate.
His tired eyes looking back at me while staying silent for a few moments. "I don't wanna risk it Y/n. Not with you. What if I fuck it up all? What if I'm not enough for you? You're too good for me darling and I can't ruin you." Now he was the one fighting tears back. I let out a small laugh, my cheeks still stained with my tears. "You could never. You're perfect no matter what and I can assure you," I grabbed his cheeks once again. "you could do nothing wrong. Just stop hurting me like this." What I meant with that was: I wanted him to stop being with a different girl everyday.
Nodding his head at me he bought me into a sudden kiss, catching me off guard as a gasp left my lips and onto his. I kissed back, of course, his lips were irrasistable. The kiss was slow and passionate and slowly turned into a makeout session as he guided us to his bed. Me laying on it as he was on top. His hands didn't leave my body and his lips were connected with mine. As our breath was getting shorter and shorter we pulled apart.
"It was all a distraction. I wanted to lose these feelings for you but it's so hard." he caresses my cheek softly. "You're hard to resist." Was the last thing said before his lips found their way on mine again and they won't be leaving anytime soon, that I'm sure of.
_________________________________________
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen heeseung#heeseung#lee heeseung#lee heesung x reader#heeseung x reader#enhypen smut#Spotify#enhypen x reader#enhypen heeseung x reader
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🍄🍓🎲
AAAH!!! HELLO!!! I always see you in my feed, I wasn't expecting you in my inbox, but I'm happy to see you here XD
Sooo, the questions. Yes. I am so sorry these are so long, I can't be short and sweet and to the point for anything, I swear, it's always just word vomit and -- I'm rambling again, let's get to it hahaha XD
🍄 A Headcanon for one of my favorite ships/Pairings. Sooooo I don't have a favorite ship/pairing, not really, for the AOT fandom, I'm just kind of vibing over here with most of them XD I'll enjoy Erwin/Levi Content one second, scroll two more posts down and oogle over a Hange/Levi, and then gasp and jealously drink in an OC/Levi art the next second while scribbling down the artist for future reference for the day I can finally afford to request some Levi and my OCs art (I have an OC in mind for every Levi x Reader Fic I've written that I imagine while I write). So it's more like a Levi x Anyone kind of headcanon:
I have always been a sucker for the thought that when Levi get's really comfortable with whoever he's with, and he's letting his guard down more and is cuddling regularly with his SO, that this is a common and favorite position:
Just, the hand running gently through his hair at the nape of his neck, arms wrapped tightly around one another, head pillowed on n their chest, it looks so comfy and warm and comforting for him and uuugggghhhhh I'm a sucker for it, it's my comfort soft thought/headcanon and I love it.
🍓 How did I get into fanfic. Soooo I was already known IRL for loving writing, mostly poetry at the time, and being a huuuuge star wars fan (I was usually the one people went to if they had a character or event question cause I KNEW MY STUFF). And a friend of mine came up to me one day at summer camp and asked for some help with a star wars fanfic she was writing since i knew character and canon/EU stuff so well, and she explained WHAT fanfic was to me, and after talking for a while we wrote it together, though we kind of parted due to creative differences/complete opposite styles, but I'd created a fanficnet profile putting the original character names from the story together with plans to post the fanfic we were writing, and I decided to just keep it and start writing my own stories, and that's how I started writing fanfic--and also how I got the penname AngelDesaray, two OCs that didn't really see the light of day. Well, Desaray got revamped into Zelina for my Star Wars fanfiction baby I still work on slowly to this day, but that's besides the point, heh.
🎲What stops me from writing more in my free time? I usually get in my own way a lot. My attention span has been really shot since college, it's hard for me to focus on one thing for a long time--it's part of why I started having multiple things going on at once, it helps me to focus if I have a video running or music playing, and three or four word documents and a social media website I can easily jump away from again open, because then there's enough going on that I oddly enough can focus (I used to get teased all the time by my parents for having my laptop open on my lap, texting someone on my phone, playing a NintendoDS Game, and watching a show all at once). Another issue is that I think I haven't 100% bounced back from my college burnout, but I really really miss my writing and stories, which puts me in this weird catch 22 where I'm just mentally tired and don't want to do anything, but i've been daydreaming of my story for literal hours and really want to get something on paper. Also sometimes I'm cursed with wanting to write plot heavy stuff but I'm in the middle of relationship building, or wanting to write action but I'm doing dialogue heavy chapters, or wanting to write relationship steamy stuff but there's a lot of plot stuff going on--etc etc. Its usually me and my attention span getting in the way, pretty much. Doesn't mean i don't want to really really bad or that I'm not thinking about it 24/7, cause I usually am, it's just hard for me to FOCUS these days once I have the white sheet in front of me.
Ask Game Here
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⭐I'd love to hear more about the confession scene from Lost Then Found!⭐
ooooh okay interesting!! 💕💕 I’ll just have a little read of it now and write my thoughts:
i was sooo desperate for the Captain to have a little rom-com moment – running through the rain to go and talk to Pat – it’s like he’s spent the whole fic thinking he’s in a tragedy and now he’s finally aware of the genre lol idk)
“Pat I’ve been a fool” and “God, I’ve been so blind.” were meant to echo things that Lizzy Bennet says in Pride and Prejudice 2005 :))))) I can’t find any clips of them though :( and then the moving forward and hesitating is meant to be Mr Darcy-esque.
Despite the initial rom-com-ness of the opening, i did also want them to be emotionally mature about everything, especially after the Captain was so quick to react the day before, i wanted things to feel like they'd really slowed down.
Cap taking the time to walk around his kitchen and remind himself of what makes it his house. The mantra of ‘this is my house and he won’t make me leave’. Just knowing that he’s safe enough with Pat to not start the conversation right away.
I think I remember that I wanted the overarching feeling to be like, relief basically. Relief that they’re on the same page, that they can both be honest, that they both understand where the misunderstanding after Pat’s attempt at a kiss came from.
There’s also a sort of mutual understanding that this relationship will not just fix the Captain immediately. You can tell that from the chapters following where he’s still so unsure of himself, and so worried that he’s being clingy. You can also see it in the one shot ‘two steps on the water’.
The KISS being on Pat’s hand (the one that punched Julian) showing Cap’s attention to detail – that he remembers which hand – and that he wants to show Pat how much that meant to him. And also show him that things are making a lot more sense to him, and that he realises that Pat was probably in love with him even back then. This later gets confirmed for him.
“Ted.” Not to be silly with it amongst the emotion but you know if Pat had an ounce less sense he’d have sucked Cap sloppy style at the kitchen table right then and there. Thank god he knew how important it was to let Cap speak.
I also needed them both to apologise to each other – they both had a hand in the misunderstanding. Pat for being impulsive, Cap for not listening to any explanation. They can’t start a relationship on that kind of footing.
I think the early sort of ‘setting some parameters and asking about boundaries’ helps Pat realise the kind of work they’ll have to put in eg. “Can I - can I hug you? And things like that?” and “You can’t kick me out in the morning if we’re in my own home, after all.”. it makes him sad but also grateful because I think he realises that Cap could have very easily come to a different conclusion after his session with Alison and decided he wasn’t ready for a relationship.
I had considered that as an option actually. And then something a couple of months down the line would have changed Cap’s mind/helped him realise he was ready. But I decided I had put him through enough, actually, and he deserved to know he was loved.
GOD Pat just knowing Cap so well by this point and knowing that they definitely shouldn’t rush into anything physical – even if Cap consents, he might not be doing it for the right reasons and he might regret it. Sensible guy, love u patty cakes.
I just really enjoy how much they say they love each other in this chapter too!! also then doing relationshippy things/ Cap experiencing them for the first time. Having Pat cook him dinner, brushing their teeth in front of the mirror together, fucking SPOONING!!
in short: I love them
fanfic writers: director's cut
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08 - Of Course I Do // Forever Winter Series
pairing: austin x fem!oc
warnings: FLUFF, mushy!austin, alcohol, cursing, one of my favorite chapters i’ve written 🥺 pls tell me you love it
08/? - chp summary: elsie refuses to sleep in austin’s bed out of principal - austin comforts a heartbroken elsie
see masterlist/summary for background info + chapter log
𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚊 𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗
𝙻𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗' 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚛𝚢
PLS LISTEN TO THE SONG FOR THIS ONE BC ITS SO CUTE
-AUSTIN-
Elsie had been here about 4 days now and it was easily the best I'd had in a while. I didn't even care that my back was destroyed and that it hated my couch. She had tried relentlessly to take the sofa, but I refused.
-The second night was my favorite-
"Austin! I'm not letting you sleep on your couch in YOUR home!"
Her arms crossed, wrapped in a plush blanket, glued to the sofa.
"Fine." I left the room.
"Where are you going!"
I proudly made my way back, carrying my duvet and a pillow.
"Austin! What are you doing!" She protested.
I laid my makeshift bed on the floor next to her, between the couch and coffee table.
"If you're not gonna sleep in there, I guess it'll stay empty."
She huffed, "You're ridiculous. You can't sleep on the floor."
My shoulders lifted to a shrug, "Well, you're in my bed so, this is what I got."
Stretching flat on the carpet, I brought my left arm behind my head to add cushion to the uncomfortably flat pillow.
"Guess I'm sleeping down here tonight."
She huffed again and dramatically fell on her stomach across the couch. Her face planted between her arms, against the cushion just above me. Taking a beat before popping her head back up with a giggle.
Elsie then pressed her lips against her folded arms, quiet in thought. Like she was debating if she should speak. Taking a silent inhale, she gently dropped her arm to meet my right one.
Her index finger began softly following the length of my arm. I tensed immediately. Normally when she touched me it felt like fire, but this wasn't that.
It was still an ache. But it didn't come from my body.
She gave a small chuckle.
"Do – Do you remember," Her eyes followed her own hand as it traced my bicep. "Do you remember when you'd get so drunk that I'd have to make a bed on the floor for you?"
Of course I did.
"Mhm," I replied.
My eyes watched her even though she wasn't looking at me. Her face was still half hidden in her bent elbow. I swear I could sense sadness in her voice, even though her tone was light.
She reached the end of my limb at my fingers. I stayed painfully still.
Her fingers traced mine. Motions so slow, so hesitant. Like she was trying to disarm a bomb. She started at my index, then middle, then ring- lingering just a second longer on that one- before finally reaching my pinky.
"Remember when," Her gaze finally meeting back up to me. Now her tone was significantly less masked. This time, nervous.
In the most delicate motion, she hooked her own pinky with mine.
"Remember when you'd ask me to lay down with you?"
This was the last thing I thought we'd talk about tonight. It was part of the compromise of things we never spoke about.
She broke the close call clause.
"Yeah?" I asked cautiously. Again, I couldn’t figure out why she was bringing this up. Just talking about it felt forbidden.
She lifted to rest her cheek atop her arm, slightly swinging our hooked arms.
"This feels like that."
I couldn't look away from her. Ordinarily bright green eyes, now a much softer hue. They reminded me of a clear, calm lake. One where you'd run to trying to escape the world.
I sucked in thinning air and gave her pinky a squeeze, "Yeah, I guess it does."
It was in that moment that I understood she was the only thing that ever made me feel safe. Even when my heart was racing or my breath was absent. When I was in a highest high or a lowest low.
She was my calm lake.
----
She didn't forfeit that night on the debate on who kept the bed. So, slept on the floor. And I couldn't have been happier.
She wanted to drink tonight, but I wasn't up for it. Sometimes alcohol darkened my mind, and I couldn't risk it tonight. Both for my own sanity but mostly because I knew the reality of Nox's silence was settling in her.
Alcohol also worked like truth serum for me, I couldn't risk that either. Not after the other night on the floor.
For how often she drank, you'd think she was an alcoholic. But she wasn't. She wasn't like me. The only thing she was addicted to was bad men.
She plopped onto the floor in front of my leg, drink in tow. She was now about the same height as my leg bent off the couch. Resting her chin on my seated knee, looking up at me with large, glazed over eyes. It was very clear from her stumbling that she'd passed her limit.
"You love me, don't you?"
A breath hitched painfully in my throat.
"Like you think I'm a good friend?" Words slurred slightly. "You think I'm a good person?"
My mental sigh of relief was so strong I thought I might’ve actually sighed. That was a question I don't think I was prepared to answer.
"Why would you even ask that? Of course you are." It was the truth. She was the best person I knew. The best person I'd ever met. I owed almost everything to her.
Saying ‘I love you’ to each other wasn't new. Always friendly. But I couldn't say it this time. It felt like a lie. Like the meaning wasn’t the same. Something was different.
Her full lips tugged to the side and lowered her eyes.
"I don't know." Barely audible.
"I don't think Nox thinks so." She watched her finger tracing the rim of her glass. "I don't think he loves me anymore."
"Well then he's fucking stupid Els."
Rounded green eyes met mine, heartbreak clouding their shade. But they soon fell again.
"I think maybe it's true – all the things he says. All the things he calls me."
"Elsie, no. You're not any of those things, I promise."
"I'm not sure..." Her voice drenched in liquor. "Sometimes I think they are. Like I deserve to have them thrown at me. That I am just a stupid, annoying, cheating, whore."
My eyebrows moved together in a scrunch.
"First of all, again, you're not any of those things. Second of all... are you cheating?"
I'd like to think I knew her better than that, that I'd know if she was cheating. She wouldn't keep that from me. At least, I didn't think so.
Her glossed haze watched me silently. I honestly couldn't gauge what she was going to say. Her eyes looked almost… guilty?
Had she cheated? Who the fuck would she had cheated with?
"No, no... of course not. I just— I don't know."
Her face tilted, her cheek now smushed against my knee. I gently tucked a strand of wavy hair behind her ear. Even as a sad drunken mess, she retained an effortless beauty. Kinda like rolling clouds, it didn’t matter the weather, people still gazed up at them in awe.
"I'm not sure I'm meant for love. Just, my past couple boyfriends have been so shitty." I could tell by the strain in her voice that she was swallowing tears.
She was right. All her boyfriends always sucked. At least now they did. When I first met her, she was a spitfire. An absolute menace to the male species. She'd ghost guys over the teeniest shit and could spot red flags from miles away.
Honestly that was part of the reason I never pursued her. She was kinda scary, and I was even more shy back then. So, we just ended up as friends.
But then there was this one. Michael. They met our sophomore year. And he changed her. After him, she was just different. Instead of demanding the highest standards, she bent backwards for crumbs.
I knew there are things she never told me about her and Michael. I didn't know everything he did to her, but the things I did know were enough to make me want to kill him. He irrevocably broke her. He stole her spirit, her confidence, her defenses. He wrung her out like a dirty dish towel, making her an easier more pliable pawn for any men after him.
What made me nervous was that Nox was starting to catch up to him. Over time she got better at hiding things from me. And I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth.
"They're so horrible to me. And I still love them so much." Her voice cracking.
Her words speared my throat. Piercing like a bee sting.
"I think I'm just gonna give up on men. On love. All of it. They're all horrible."
"Hey! We're not all bad!" I joked, "I haven't had any complaints."
I nudged my knee forward causing her to bob back onto me. A chuckle left her mouth and finally turned to look back up.
"I know. I wish there were more like you."
Her words sat in mind. These ones stung too. More like wasps this time.
"Elsie, you're like... the brightest ray of sunshine I've ever met. You're gonna find someone who will appreciate that. And they're gonna love you, more-than-you-could-imagine." I poked her shoulder with each beat of the words for emphasis.
Her plump lips curled up. "You really think so?"
"Fuck yeah I do."
Yeah, some words stung but nothing felt as good as her smile or laughter. Especially when I was the culprit.
I was the one who could make her laugh under any circumstances.
She stood up and shuffled over before plopping beside me. Coiling a throw blanket around herself then hooked an arm into mine.
This too, this felt good too. This was worth it. I’d rather have this than nothing.
She scooted closer, bridging the gap between us and rested her head on my shoulder. Her side now glued to mine. I could've stayed there forever.
"Thanks Austie." Her voice as soft as the cashmere wrapped around her.
Her body heat emphasized just how cold I had been the whole time without noticing.
"Hey! You never answered me!" A playful huff.
"About what?"
"If you love me!"
Another breath lodged in my throat like a bolder.
"Of course I do." I looked down to note the reaction. "You love me?"
A child-like look filled her eyes paired with an innocent smile.
"Of course I do."
I squeezed her arm and she squeezed back.
Next Chapter: 09 - Thanksgiving Pt. 1
Notes: i loved writing this chapter and it's one of my favs overall. I hope you guys loved it too
#austin butler x oc#austin butler#austin butler fanfic#austin butler fanfiction#austin butler smut#austin butler x fem!oc#elvis film#elvis movie#austin butler elvis#austin butler imagine#austin butler fic#elvis 2022#austin!elvis#austin butler FLUFF#friends to lovers#friends to lovers trope#elvis the pelvis#austin elvis#elvis baz luhrmann#baz luhrmann elvis#Forever Winter#Forever Winter fic#burninlovebutler#Spotify#elvis presley#elvis fanfic#elvis#austin butler blurb#austin butler x fem!reader#austin butler angst
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jadie (may i call u that ?) i was wondering how u deal with hate on ur page. does it ever get rlly hard to the point where u think about quitting or something? ive been going through some hate of my own and although im still a small acct and the love outweighs the hate, its still super hurtful and i just wanna know how someone with a following as big as urs would handle it ! thanks so much
you can call me whatever you like!! how I deal with it..
I think it's important to acknowledge that I have a 'bigger' account or a bigger following because if you tallied up the hate to the kindness I'm shown, there's always going to be more love. And I feel like I can stick up for myself more often because I know I've made friends here and have followers that will support me!! So I would definitely say those things are a privilege that I have to help me
That being said, I've definitely noticed a tenfold increase in hate as I gain followers and i think thats natural, it makes sense that the more people that are exposed to me and my writing, the more I will see people who dont like me or my writing. Sometimes I handle it by crying my eyes out, and sometimes I just feel really sick all day. Lots of the time, hate pretty much saps me completely and I find that I don't want to write anymore because you do start to internalise that and feel negatively about yourself. It's always worse when they kind of find the thing you're sensitive about and prod at it.
And hate feels to me like it is in two categories, actual stuff with value and then the troll/bait kind of stuff. Most of the mean anons I receive I block straight away so they can't send anything again. Sometimes I post it because I want my own say, like when I don't agree with the way someone's speaking to me.
Sometimes you get silly cruel ones, and sometimes you see hate and think like??? What does this have to do with me? Fanfic and writing in general can be so skewed toward personal preference because why wouldn't I write what I want to write? This is my hobby and its for fun, and so when you get those "this was awkward' "this was poorly written" "why did insert character do this" I can disregard that pretty easily cos its a comment based on their own perception and preference. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you don't want to!
I recently saw someone get a hate anon that said like "you need to use more full stops, I need to take a breath" and it made me laugh because there are literally millions and millions of books and billions of words of fanfic online and that person has seemingly never encountered a run on sentence before? I think you just have to keep in mind that your circle of experience in life is different to other people's , and there will be overlap but often the majority won't, like a Venn diagram. What I'm trying to say is I tend to not take that stuff too personally (though it's still hate, and still annoying!) because that person probably just hasn't realised the world doesn't revolve around them yet!
Hate sucks! We aren't goodreads authors, we aren't offering our work up for a five star rating and asking people to pick it apart, and it's always gonna be gutting when people don't like what we have to offer. But I just try to take it on the chin because rejection is a constant in life, and if you don't wrestle with it I'd imagine I'll turn into a bitter bitch. 😅
tldr: I let myself be upset by it! I give myself space to feel sad but ultimately I reason that you can't please everyone, and you shouldn't want to! Do what makes you happy and the right people will find you and love you for it !!
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❝𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲❞ ─ 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝
but when he loves me i feel like i'm floating
when he calls me pretty i feel like somebody
❥ content ; little gn reader, sfw agere, corpse is a cg, mostly fluff with a smidge of angst
❥ warnings ; daddy issues, childhood trauma, hints of emotional & verbal abuse and of course age regression if ur uncomfy w that stuff. also pet names and the use of the word "daddy" but not in a sexual/smutty context!!! agere is not a kink!!!
❥ synopsis ; you age regress to cope and corpse takes care of you through it all
❥ a/n ; i got a request to write this agere fic a couple months ago on my wattpad! i myself used to be a part of the agere community but it has been years so i forgot a lot of what i learned. however, unlike age play and cgl, agere is just a coping mechanism and totally nonsexual!! pls do ur research before u attack members of the agere community (: ur coping mechanisms are valid!!!
With a frustrated groan, you push yourself away from your desk, now spinning slowly on your little office type chair.
You had procrastinated and hadn't done any of your work, and even when you did try to finish it, you were easily distracted or discouraged by intrustive thoughts.
Your mind would never fail to drift back to memories of when you were younger. However, those memories weren't exactly fond or anything you'd even want to remember.
Yet they were there, either popping up unexpectedly or lingering in the back of your unconcious mind.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt two strong arms wrap around you, causing you to nearly jump out of your seat.
Corpse hummed. "Are you done with your work yet, darling?"
"Can't finish it.. My brain doesn't wanna co-operate with me today, or ever," you whine, feeling angry tears begin to form behind your waterline.
Corpse sensed the anxiety and frustration in your voice and immediately knew the cause.
"You're not a failure, Y/N. Your father was wrong, and you know it."
"Yeah, but hearing his words in my head don't exactly help when I'm trying to work."
"I know, baby, I know," Still not letting you free from his embrace, Corpse held your significantly smaller hands in his. "But he's not here. It's just me, doll. You're safe."
He knew what he was doing. And he knew that you knew.
You pulled away from his hold, now standing up to face him. He as well stood up to his full height, looking down at you with soft, comforting eyes.
"A-Are you sure I can..?" You ask timidly, looking down at the floor to avoid his gaze. He nods encouragingly.
"Of course, doll. I'll take care of you."
He brings his hand to caress your face and tilts it upwards so your eyes met.
Your eyes dart across the room, looking anywhere but into Corpse's own eyes.
"Tsk, eyes on me, baby."
You hesitantly bring your eyes back to meet his, prompting Corpse to praise you. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks at this.
"You promise?? I don't wanna be a distraction, I-"
Wordlessly, Corpse brushes his thumb on your bottom lip, causing you to quiet down immediately.
"What are you saying? I always have time for you. Now c'mon."
You giggle as Corpse lifts you up into his arms bridal style and takes you to the living room.
You end up watching a Studio Ghibli movie together, tucked underneath blankets and with you snuggled up into Corpse's chest.
At some point during the movie, you unwrap one of Corpse's arms around you and take his hand. This causes Corpse to unconciously hold your hand in his big, calloused ones, adorned with metal rings.
You both look down to where he held you.
"Awe, now would you look at that. Your hand looks so cute, the way it fits in mine," he coos, causing you to sink further into your blankets, hiding your blush.
"Mm stop," you pout, only making Corpse chuckle some more.
"You're hiding because you're blushing?"
"Yes!! Now stop laughing, you big meanie."
Corpse only responds by lifting you back onto his lap, resting his chin on your head.
"Aww, you really are blushing like a rose," Corpse fawns. "Aren't you just a pretty little thing?"
You decide not to sass back and instead accept the praise.
As you both refocused your attention on the screen, Corpse lets go of your hand and instead runs his fingers through your hair. You hum in satisfaction, leaning into his touch. Corpse continues to do this all while he whispers sweet nothings and praises in your ear until you drift off into a blissful sleep.
After what feels like an hour later, but was really just thirty minutes, Corpse's phone chimes, his screen lighting up to reveal a text notification.
As softly as he can, Corpse reaches over to the side table to grab his phone. Despite his efforts, you wake up from the movement and the sudden lack of warmth that was once wrapped around your body.
You huff in annoyance.
"I thought you said you weren't busyyy."
"I know, little one. Sean wants me to join a game with the others. If you want, you can watch us play. We won't be streaming."
You nod in agreement, and once again, Corpse carries you into the studio, setting you down on his lap soon as he sits down.
You hear a little beep, followed by a variety of voices, all talking above one another. It comes to a stop, though, and you're relieved of the overstimulation as soon as they realize Corpse had joined the call.
"Hey, Corpse is here!"
"What's up, Corpse?"
"Hey guys," Corpse greets them. "I hope you don't mind that Y/N's with me right now. They're little again and I promised I'd spend time with them."
You heard some 'aww's' in the back as voices overlapped again.
"Oh, no, yeah of course we're okay with that."
"That's really sweet!"
"All right, guys, no cursing or excessive yelling! If you scare Y/N, you're gonna have me to answer to!"
Though they couldn't see you, you still shyly huddled closer into Corpse's chest. Corpse's friends, being your friends as well, knew that you were an age regressor and were fully supportive and accepting. So this wasn't the only occassion where they'd played with little you around to watch.
"Thank you," you mumbled sleepily into the mic before yawning and laying back down into Corpse.
He gives you a kiss on the top of your head before he goes back to chatting and playing with his friends. An hour passes, and then it's night. The cold nighttime air seeps in through the windows, causing goosebumps to form on your exposed skin.
Silently, you tug at Corpse's hoodie, prompting him to look down at you. Though you've been quiet throughout the past hour, Corpse hadn't forgotten about you.
He raises a brow, confused for a second until you grab at his hoodie again with pleading eyes.
"'M cold, daddy."
"Shh, okay, baby, I got you."
Corpse pulls his sweater over his head, and on instinct, you raise your arms up as well. Corpse takes his hoodie and puts it on you, causing you to giggle in delight.
"There you go. Is that better?"
You beam, "Mhm!"
As Corpse shared this moment with you, he was still blissfully unaware that his mic was still on. That was, until he heard the choruses of "awe's" in his headphones.
#corpse husband x reader#corpse husband fanfic#corpse x gn reader#gn reader#agere little#sfw#corpse x little reader#corpse husband x y/n#corpse husband x you#rattyoakenbitch#mcyt#youtubers#corpse husband fluff#tw: daddy issues#tw: childhood trauma
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so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3
So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!
These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao
Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA
What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)
Lucifer
So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image
And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit
BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?
A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power
That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar
But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.
He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)
And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom
If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo
But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code
Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)
10/10, would fill with spiders again
Mammon
I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons
But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier
I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him
Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho
More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy
See, Greed can stem from fear
Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others
So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have
If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted
Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else
Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings
If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood
After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…
Leviathan
As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it
BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser
While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them
He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it
Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)
But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off
If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?
Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off
Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi
And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY
I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE
LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS
IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E
AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN
I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E
Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT
*ahem* anyway, fishee
Satan
Another tricky boi
I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself
I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan
Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person
So tearing that all away from him is :)))
But what would Satan give himself over to?
Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—
Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as
“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person
I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again
Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect
Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With
Asmodeus
I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.
Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy
(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)
There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality
Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second
But I think I’ve got it
Slaughter!
Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)
Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”
But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war
Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people
They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing
Beelzebub
I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith
You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better
Now as for a Vibe…
I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh
Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)
So I’ll talk about the Flesh
So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?
Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds
I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this
Like “well, guess I’m here now”
I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits
Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway
So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked
Belphegor
I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl
It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse
Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark
Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark
It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.
I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically
According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao
Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral
“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy
Apparently it’s getting choked
Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?
Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?
Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?
Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?
Yes :)
#obey me#tma#cursed tma x om crossover#obey me headcanons#tma the entities#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor
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Sound of a Heartbeat
Part 6. The Devil's Hospitality
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5
And I am back from celebrating the summer solstice. Mosquitoe-bitten, red-haired and with a new chapter. Thanks for following the story if you still are, I'm very sorry that editing takes me so long. (STILL IN NEED OF A BETA). So yes, please enjoy and like&reblog&comment, because interaction with readers makes me extremely happy. Also please write in comments if you want me to tag you so that you don't miss the new parts.
Pairing: Dracula x OC
Warnings: none, a little bit of death threats and the usual tuberculosis part
"Maps used to say there'd be dragons here. Now they don't, but that doesn't mean dragons aren't there." ~ Lorne Malvo, "Fargo"
Shari began to open her eyes hesitantly, slowly when nothing rushed at her in the first few moments of her presence inside the castle. The healer was still extremely tense, ready to jump aside and try to fight off anything that tried to attack her. Nothing. Dark, still, terrifying, but also quiet and…empty. Lisa hadn’t told her a complete lie. Apparently, Dracula wasn’t home. Shari looked around the dark place she found herself in - she was standing in the middle of an enormous hall, columns going way up, she needed to raise her head to see the gothic arcs of the dark ceiling above her; two large round marble staircases in front of her led to the opening on the second floor and behind that space she could see a darkened entrance to an inner corridor. Shari could hear nothing but her own heartbeat and Rodo's husky breathing, the silence was almost ideal, her own quiet breathing echoed around the wide halls - the castle appeared to be completely empty, apart from her, Rodo and her ghastly companion. Lisa seemed frozen in awe for a while, looking around too, but with a kind of familiar melancholic look on her face - staring once again at the place she had spent so much time in must have felt odd. Odd and slightly painful. All the memories of her life, all the “what if”s of her never leaving this peculiar home or never finding it in the first place rushed in, frustrating her for a few moments. The ghost quickly recalled she needed to keep collected – for the sake of her new guest and the adventure she was planning ahead.
- Wait, Lisa! - Shari rushed to her side, afraid to be left alone even for one moment. Rodo hopped behind her easily. - We will go and grab books, yeah I get it, but... How do I... Where do I rest? I mean I need a bed and preferably next to a chimney and then after I wake up, I can study through whatever we need and search for whatever other materials I can need, sure, but I'd there... I mean it's kind of a vampire castle... - Shari trailed off and in a moment she was coughing again, heading to the supposed library entrance, but barely seeing her way.
- Wait, Lisa! - Shari rushed to her side, afraid to be left alone even for one moment. Rodo hopped behind her easily. - We will go and grab books, yeah I get it, but... How do I... Where do I rest? I mean I need a bed and preferably next to a chimney and then after I wake up, I can study through whatever we need and search for whatever other materials I can need, sure, but I'd there... I mean it's kind of a vampire castle... - Shari trailed off and in a moment she was coughing again, heading to the supposed library entrance, but barely seeing her way.
- That is quite funny of you, - Lisa responded, when Shari quieted down a bit. - To be asking me if you can have a normal bedroom in a vampire castle, especially since you know I've lived here for quite a long time.
- Yeah and married the host, - Shari argued breathlessly.
- What do you think vampires sleep in?
- Coffins?
- Don't be shallow.
- Well, sorry if didn't live with them for twenty years and didn't realise they may as well use beds... - Shari hesitated. - They do, right? Because if you were implying that you want me to sleep in your old room, then thanks I'd better sleep on library floor.
- You'll take one of the guestrooms, - Lisa rolled her eyes. - And you have to get there soon, otherwise you'll collapse and I am in no form to drag you up the stairs.
- Oh, you've finally noticed, - Shari huffed. - I hope there will be a very - no, extremely - warm chimney, - she added, shivering.
- As you wish, - answered the ghost, pushing the heavy door. They walked into the library together, careful not to make any noise and Shari had to catch her breath: of course she had expected something like this, but neither the size of the room nor the abundance of different apparatuses and strange objects could have ever been embraced by her imagination - it seemed like one lifetime would never be enough to study through all the centuries of knowledge kept in these walls.
- Wow.
- Well, that… is one way to place it, - Lisa laughed, amused with the healer's surprise. - Come, - she beckoned. - Take this, this... oh, and this, - she walked to one of the tall shelves, pointing to several books for Shari to take. - Oh, wait, I forgot, can you...?
- Read? You ask only now? You offend me, - Shari threw the ghost an unamused glare, her hands loaded with heavy foliants. Lisa laughed, obviously the question was only poorly hidden sarcasm. Rodo behind her back was running around the room, smelling the air with curiosity - if he ever visited the castle before, she doubted that he was let anywhere near the living areas.
- Well, you never know with people these days, - Lisa replied. - These must have something on your lung disease, as far as I remember - or some similar things - you'll need to go through lung sections, compare the symptoms and check what might work for you.
- Will try to, - the girl nodded, weighting the books in her arms and already estimating how much time she may possibly have for all that study.
- Come on now, don't waste time, - Lisa was too enthusiastic to be a ghost inside of an abandoned vampire castle. Far too enthusiastic. Something must have been off, but Shari couldn’t place what and couldn’t possibly be able to do so in her exhausted state.
Shari followed her down another large door and out of the library; there was a narrow staircase leading somewhere upstairs, dark and empty, just like the rest of the place – the golden lights of the library couldn’t reach into its curves, so Shari had to watch her step carefully. She was not sure how many floors they passed before they finally left the stairs and turned into a dark corridor lit only by the moonlight, falling from a small window way in front of them. Shari felt cold and slightly anxious for no evident reason - the whole place had an intense, intimidating mood to it – as expected. Lisa made a few more steps and stopped in front of a heavy wooden door. Shari hesitated once more, but Lisa nodded towards it encouragingly; the girl then freed one of her hands from underneath the books and pushed the door open, stepping into the room more confidently.
A big four-poster bed, a fireplace, a wardrobe and a table with a chair placed by the window. Old, slightly dusty, but more than enough for her to rest her head. Shari threw the books on the table and lit the fire in no time, sinking down on her knees to warm her freezing fingers. After several days of survival and freezing, she could finally heat and rest. Rodo crawled to the corner of the room and lay down there calmly, hiding his clawed paws beneath himself and seemingly beginning to drift off, Lisa stood by the window, facing away, staring into the darkness, seemingly already detached from what was happening within the walls of the castle. The door was locked - pointlessly, as a bow to paranoia - the fire was burning nicely - how good it was to finally feel its warmth - the room was silent apart from its creaking and Shari knew she herself was starting to fall asleep.
She stood up from her place by the chimney, checked the door once more and threw herself on the bed, kicking off her boots and crawling under the heavy blankets. Now she wanted nothing more than sleep - sleep and warmth of the chimney to ease her cold, the soreness of her limbs and the pain in her lungs. Lisa slowly dissolved in the corner of the room, but even that didn't seem to be a problem to the healer - she would catch up with the ghost tomorrow, get to her reading and preferably medicine. Now - rest.
Shari rolled into a ball under the covers and surrendered to the long awaited sleep.
***
Dracula was returning to his home after two days of absence; following his son proved counterproductive - apart from assuring, that the boy didn't have it easy with the demons, there was not much more he could do. The group held together, never separated - not after they became three instead of four. That was almost a pitiful chain of events. Though it did make them less vulnerable to his attacks and he decided not to rush things - the speed at which they traveled bought him more than enough time for any further proceedings.
The world outside was crushed and burned by war. The world inside his castle was dark and hollow as usual. At least it was so normally - but surprisingly, not that night.
Dracula knew there was an intruder in his castle the moment he entered – there was no way he wouldn’t have noticed; the vampire had to stop on his tracks, trying to detect what caught him off guard, and then he finally felt it - the smell of the human was very subtle, but still there. He tracked her down(undeniably this one was a female, he could almost recognize that mix of cinnamon and lavender as if he had encountered it before) - from the main entrance to the library - pausing by the shelves for a moment, a few foliants were missing here and there with the traces of her human warmth still hovering around the place - and upstairs to one of the rooms - just like the guestroom Lisa stayed at when she first found him.
The door was expectably locked, but as soon as the vampire's nail trailed along the keyhole, the lock clicked by itself, opening up. Dracula expected a lost and tired stranger or a hopeful witch seeking out his help and teaching, but when he opened the door, letting himself inside, he finally understood why her smell seemed so familiar to him. The girl from the forest camp, his son's willing helper, witch and healer by her own words. The vampire was surprised to say the least. He had been quite sure she was gone for good; in the end he had tried his best to give her a peaceful death and yet here she was: alive, breathing and in his castle. Sleeping peacefully, having willingly crawled under his roof and left herself at his mercy.
The vampire entered the room quietly, shutting the door behind him and sitting down in the chair by the table, his eyes observing the human figure on the bed. Petite, blond haired and pale - the girl looked so similar to Lisa, but yet was nothing like her - no, the darker tint to her hair and the weakness of her tired body drew the distinction quite clearly, as well as the reddish mark standing out against her pale neck. A mark he left on her.
He briefly wondered how that weak creature managed to survive his bite, but he would set the question aside for the time being. He needed to decide what to do with his guest: the easiest option was to finally enjoy the remnants of her sweet living blood without interruption now, but one look at the pale sleeping form made him suddenly feel doubtful: her chest heaving as she breathed, her heartbeat slow and peaceful, she coughed in her sleep dryly and turned on her back, her arms spread across the bed, she faced away from him with the crook of her neck so temptingly open to his view - so calm and vulnerable. How are you still alive? Dracula suddenly for himself felt rather than decided that he would not end her, not yet and not here, that he wanted to know more: how she found him, what she wanted and what may come of her - after all, he hadn't had such bold human visitors, ever since...
***
Dim light was shining through the window, strands of it falling onto her face and disturbing her peaceful sleep. Shari moved about a bit, wincing at the pain in her limbs and the full ache somewhere deep in her chest, letting a few (thankfully) dry coughs pass her lips, trying to hide away from the morning rays, hoping for a few more minutes of the blissful unconsciousness, then finally stilled, opening her sleepy eyes and sitting up. The instant she did so, she knew something was very wrong: the room was identical to how it looked the evening before, but she felt it still – even the air seemed denser, more dangerous and alert. She felt a shiver run down her back – as she finally noticed it, on the wall before her, next to the door, she could see a large dark shadow of something standing in front of the window, cutting off the light. Please let it be something outside. Shari turned her head slightly to the left and saw Rodo crouched on the ground - worried and tense, looking in the direction of something behind her back; the healer suddenly had absolutely no wish to turn around. Maybe if she would stay still the thing - whatever it was - would go away and leave her alone.
The sound of movement behind her back announced her that her stillness would most probably not protect her - whatever it was, it was inside of the room and very much uncaring of whether she moved or not.
- I think I have already killed you once this week, - Shari jumped on the spot and turned abruptly to finally face her host: Dracula was leaning against the table and staring down at her, his sharp face unreadable. - You are quite persistent for a human, I dare say. And bold.
Shari leaped out of the bed, as if a bucket of ice cold water was spilled over her, and backed away from him until her back hit the stone wall, her eyes searching for Lisa frantically – but the ghost was nowhere to be seen. Not this again. The vampire crossed the room in a swift, undetectable motion, his figure appearing in front of her in a matter of seconds. Rodo growled at his master, but remained motionless, still afraid to step out against the vampire.
Shari tried to move away, slip out of his grasp before he could properly get ahold of her, possibly even reach the door and run down the stairs - anything - but a large clawed hand grabbed her throat suddenly and firmly and the healer found herself unable to breathe properly, gasping and coughing in his hold, trying to wriggle away. Where was Lisa when she was so needed? "Oh no, Dracula is rarely visiting this castle nowadays!" Sure, like there was ever any point in believing that.
- How did you find this place? - Dracula growled rather than asked. His grasp was tight and Shari felt panic rise inside as if she was already in the claws of Death itself. Not far from truth.
"Your dead wife dragged me all the way here."
- Rumours. Mostly. And a bit of luck, - she rasped, out of breath.
- What do you want?
"Out."
- Shelter. And knowledge. I know there are books here that can help me heal, - she coughed and tried to free herself, once again unsuccessfully.
- And you expected the castle to be empty? - he almost laughed.
"No, but your beloved wife is a big liar."
- I recognize it was incredibly stupid of me, but back then it seemed like a plan, - oh yes, a plan of a very annoying and untrustworthy ghost.
- Are you alone here?
"Apart from a mean ghost and your demon..."
- Yes! - she gritted her teeth, as his hand pressed her farther into the wall.
- Give me one reason, human, not to finish now what I started a few days ago, - he was growling now even deeper, his face close to hers and she wondered how painful it may be this time. She did not want to find out.
- When I'm here I can't help Adrian! - she replied quickly, rasping each word.
- Same as when you are dead, - came the answer, his head leaning down to the crook of her neck. She shrieked.
- Repeating the same action and awaiting a different outcome of it is the definition of insanity, - Shari blurted out, not fully aware of her own words. What the hell was this even about? - You have ready killed me once, remember? I should have died back then, but something kept me going. You killed me and it didn't work. And you are not insane, are you?
Dracula suddenly removed his hand from her throat, laughing and took a small step back - as soon as he did so, she could feel against herself the growling form of Rodo who jumped in front of the human, protecting her from his master. Shari slid to the floor and threw her arms around the creature's neck, holding it to herself and caressing the dark fur. The vampire stared at the demon with a dissatisfied gaze, but the beast held his ground firmly now.
- You are a particularly peculiar human being, healer, - the vampire laughed. - That was the most unsettling answer you could have given.
- Was it? - she rasped, catching her breath. He smirked, knowing well he would not eat her now; he was too amused to make her his meal. - I can leave if you want, I will... - Shari searched for words. What exactly was she going to do if he made her leave? Crouch down on his porch and die?
- You are a curious specimen... Besides it likes you for some reason, - Dracula nodded towards Rodo. - You may stay until you annoy me out of my patience, - he stated blankly, instantly hating how welcoming he was being towards the human.
- Thank you. Making me leave would have been unfortunate and embarrassing to no limit, - Shari spoke quickly with no intonation, calming her rapidly beating heart. That was unexpected, but appreciated and she tried to be as short and non-annoying as possible as to not make him change his mind.
- Rest, use the library, and try to stay out of my line of sight. And remember I could still decide to draw a conclusion to our previous meeting, - he walked out of the guestroom, almost slamming the door behind him. So much for hospitality, but at least she wasn't being kicked out. Or eaten, for that matter.
Shari breathed in deeply and caressed Rodo's head and neck. What has she gotten herself into? Where the hell did Lisa disappear to?
#i'm not very subtle about this am i#welcome to the darkness#let the romance begin#not much happens here#i try my best i swear#castle dracula#castlevania#dracula x oc#dracula x reader#sound of a heartbeat#adrian tepes#alucard#lisa fahrenheit#castlevania fanfiction
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ChiLumi | Hidden Meaning
Okay, so, basically, this takes place in between the Archon missions and before Golden House.
I'm gonna leave bullet points just cuz it's easier that way and I'm so bad at writing. I might make a fic of it later though if enough people want me to XD
There might be some additional parts to this too cuz I wanna put in detail how the Golden House fight went down, how Childe's story mission worked, and every other ChiLumi headcanon after that so yeah.
They may be a bit OOC but this is how I imagine it playing out
So we're clear, Childe has used his charms to woo over many to gain information for the Fatui. He sees Lumine slightly falling for him so he decides to use this to his advantage no one tell the boy he is in love yet, he refuses to believe it
Childe invites Lumine out to run some errands around Liyue. His excuse? The group is running out of food and needs to cook up some more stuff for their future adventures.
His conditions? Everyone else must stay behind, including Paimon. Paimon says no to this, obviously, since she hasn't left Lumine's side.
Lumine, however, says yes.
Most of the team is heavily against this outing, but Kaeya, Barbara, Chongyun, and Xiangling seem to be on Lumine's side, letting her go and convince the rest to let Childe and Lumine do as they please. (Side note: Kaeya and Barbara are huge playing factors in this entire ChiLumi saga)
Childe and Lumine start wandering around Liyue and stop by the beach, where Lumine starts picking up some starconches behind Childe's back
She hands it over and says it's a gift for him. When he asks why, she says she wants to try and convince Childe to join them on their adventure.
Lumine isn't dumb; she knew Childe did this to try and squeeze info out of her, hence why she accepted. However, she decided that she wants to try and convince Childe to leave the Fatui and switch sides.
Childe isn't convinced, obviously, and says that he is her enemy--she can't expect him to switch sides that easily, could she? Especially not when he's made it clear that he, Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger, wants to conquer the world!
Lumine, however, begs to differ
"How about we make a deal?" She asks. "I'll take you sightseeing around Liyue Harbor while we run errands. I want you to take a good look this time and see the people of Liyue not as people you collect debt from, not as people you need to defeat, nor as people you need to conquer. I want you to see the as people with families and lives, living their days out peacefully... as your average human being, like you or me. If you can do that, at least consider leaving the Fatui, okay?"
Childe scoffs, saying that he'll only take the deal because he knows it won't work. Lumine shoves the starconch into his hands and pulls him along, smiling sweetly. His heart slightly flutters but this stupid idiot thinks the world is black and white and he can't be in love with the enemy so he ignores it.
Lumine starts heading to some stalls and buying some food, sharing it with Childe. He states that he's already done this before, but she wants him to experience it from a different point of view. She leads him to Wanmin Restaraunt and the two feast.
Childe doesn't know why, but for some reason, the food tastes a bit better than when he tasted it the first time he came to Liyue. He looks to Lumine, who's enjoying every bite, and softly smiles.
After paying, she continues dragging him everywhere. To drink tea, to hear stories, or to even watch kids fly kites (and even convince him to fly a kite with her)
Then, they get to the middle of Yujing Terrace
Childe was having a great time so far and was almost forgetting that he was supposed to be dragging out information from her, but when they got to the scene where the Exuvia was supposed to be, where the crime scene had taken place days earlier, he remembered that he was a Fatui. What was he doing, having fun without getting his job done? He needed to get that Gnosis, after all, from Rex Lapis' corpse.
Lumine leads him to one of the altars and says that even if the Rite of Decension is no more, she still wants to make a wish with him. Childe is amused that she would do such a thing and agrees.
She lights the incense stick and lights the altar, making her wish. Childe starts to question her.
"Y'know... I would like to know what you wished for, Oujo-chan. Convince me that the Tsaritsa is wrong about this whole thing... that the world shouldn't be our enemy and that there's still hope."
Childe was expecting Lumine to turn him down, but she answered with her wish.
"...I want to be reunited with someone special to me. We were always attached to the hip whenever we traveled together, and even if we parted ways, I knew where to meet him. I knew where to go. But I lost him... and I'm so scared. I wake up in the middle of the night because I keep seeing nightmares where he walks away from me and I can never reach him."
She has a sad look in her eyes as she keeps continuing.
"If anything, I just want to see him again and know he's safe... and, along the way, maybe gather up more friends. I want to have the people of Teyvat united and happy together... if I can gather more people together, I'd like that... we can go hunt for treasure, solve puzzles, discover ruins, fight ruins... all while trying to find our own goals, we can come together, as a family."
Childe smiled at her answer, and when Lumine asked what he wished for, he hesitantly answered. He began to murmur, searching for the right words, but all he could come up with was the answer he knew all around him expected from him.
"...to become stronger and... conquer the world...?"
He sounded unsure, because he was. Lumine didn't pick up on that and just laughed, saying that sounded so like him. But, truth was, he was conflicted on his wish.
In truth, he wanted a resolve like Lumine.
He wished someone would tell him that he doesn't need to constantly fight and bring chaos.
He wished someone would treat him as a friend, or even as family, unlike the Fatui, who either despised him with their entire being or feared him, whether out of respect or their sheer will to survive in the Fatui.
He wished someone would tell him it's okay to feel vulnerable--that the world was okay, and that he can live as a person. Not as a Harbinger, not as a Fatui...
He wished someone would tell him that he can protect those he loves without constantly destroying others who are loved by their own families.
He looked to Lumine, who started gazing at the stars above and realized one thing and one thing only:
He wished that Lumine would tell him that he isn't alone anymore.
The next day, when Lumine woke up, Childe handed her a bouquet of Windwheel Asters.
When Lumine asked why, Childe brushed it off as telling her to get stronger for their upcoming battle.
Deep inside, though, those weren't Childe's true intentions. In fact, what he meant to say was this:
"When that fateful day comes, beat me... make me change sides. Become so strong that I have no choice but to listen to you."
"Prove to me that I'm a monster worth saving."
my heart aches for these two, because childe in this entire storyline is literally trying to convince himself that he can't switch sides and he's already gone too far deep to be saved
honey plz lumine is trying to show u that you're just like anyone else. you don't need to conquer the world to protect those you love oh my gOD
#chilumi#genshin impact#headcanon#genshin childe#childe#lumine#genshin traveler#genshin#angst#genshin angst#just pure and utter angst#childe for fucks sake please switch sides lumine didn't say it verbally but she loves you#yes lumine loves childe#she didn't say it verbally but she loves him#childe goddammit why are you so stuBBORN#plz excuse my bad writing hahahahahahaha#tartaglia
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anon:
Hey! Lord this blog is a blast from the past. I used to know your system back in the alloaro server days which was such a long time ago. But anyways, I can empathize with your problem. When I first became host a year and a half ago I was lost because the old host had a lot of things and I didn't want part in any of it. And yk what there was no shame in just leaving that shit in the past. People grow, yk? No one blames you are leaving the label leaving whatever else in the past, if it's not what resonates with you leave it. Trust me trying to live up to old hosts things is... frustrating to say the least. I wish you luck and I'm sending you love
hi, sorry im answerin yer ask like this, but unfortunately smiley faces are still a trigger, but I didn't wanna just ignore the entire message bc of it and my font is blasted on my phone so editin screenshots just get wonky fast
hearin the "alloaro server" be mentioned is honestly funny though. cause I mean. it was supposed to be welcomin to not-ace aros, but it truthfully was just an alloaro server with non sam aros tacked on for "inclusion"... smth which old host has ranted upon many times. and I do have a lot of issues with the idea of empathy/empathizin, although thats probably my gut reaction as a local sociopath tryin to run away from emapths at every corner. anyways
it's not that I want to abandon the blog, or at least not the idea of a queer-focused blog, I just. hate old host with a vengeance, 100% would 1v1 to the death for sport with them if they weren't already gone. and this blog is them. and I know so ppl use the non sam aro label and it existed before they identified with it, but with the flag bein their creation and ultimately helpin the spike in non sam aro's general recognition of at least a thing that exists... it kind of feels like their thing u know? idk. the thing is I'd probably identify as a non sam aro proudly if it weren't for old host's existence, if it werent for the trauma endured by pretendin to be them for months while sufferin with the desire to be myself. but trauma is forbidden to be a reason for why u do or don't identify with a term, right ? (/s but also /insecure idk djdhdhdj)
but honestly. I don't know if this blog's possible deletion would actually effect anything, sadly. even on the queer wiki's theres not even so much as a small link to the original post or any mention of why the flag is the way it is. the flag completely has lost all of its history, and this blog feels like the only thing keepin the flag, one of old host's biggest creations, from bein shred and devoid of it's original meanin and purpose.
how many people know why the colour is blue? how many people know why the flag is "upside down"? do people even know that the flag is "upside down" at all (re: last reblog)? can they even point to the creator despite the fact they literally held (or still hold idk) the url that is just point blank the name of the identity? do they even know why the flag was created? do they know the original terms and conditions of use of the flag before the creator almost disowned the flag because of repeated violation? do they even know what is non sam arophobic if they aren't non sam aro themselves?
like yeah, it's 5 stripes any1 could have done truthfully. but it was never just a flag, it was supposed to be a tool to be able to speak on issues, and flags are one of the most easily recognizable things to become a "valid" identity. and yes, I hate old host, but these things still upset me, whether or not I am non sam aro.
sorry to go off, and I do appreciate the sentiment of your message.... am just in a confusin place atm
#ask#anon#info#idk tags on this blog. its a mess jskdhfjfjf#I am Thinkin#lmao#oh yeah one thing that left me wheezin was someone usin a combo w/ another id non sam aro flag to be the nsa flag#im short handin to nsa now u cannot stop me. but idk like#just small things like that. like if u google nsa flag all that comes up is the original flag. how did they make that mistake?#I head in hands moment.
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★ plan b | b.sk
▰ genre: fluff, nice fluff
▰ word count: 1301
▰ synopsis: when you're really busy and you and seungkwan have barely any time to go on a date and the one chance you have, you knock out but no worries bc seungkwan is the best thing bf ever! + gender neutral! reader
▰ notes: hope u enjoy ; ___;
"Hey, how about tonight?" Seungkwan suggested, through the other end of the line as you finished highlighting some bolder words on your notes.
This question wasn't new to you, since it circulated around the same thing: a date. With you, being a full time student in university and juggling a job, and he, being the centerfold of light of the universe, among other roles he had, left little room in both of your schedules to hang out with each other, let alone have even a date. Even a short date would do.
His voice made your eyes shimmer a little bit because to be quite honest, you were really in love with him and you seriously, seriously missed him.
You both worked and lived in the same vicinity, with the distance calculated to be at least 5-10 miles away from each other, but everything was too hectic for you both to be able to sit and relax. Not to mention that recently, you had been getting little sleep.
"Babe?" He called out and you sobered, clicking your utensils shut. Your exam was in a few days and your shift at work today was a bit short compared to the typical 10 hours they had you working.
"Yeah," you were smiling now. "Yes, tonight. Let's do it."
You could literally hear him smile through the phone. It made your heart soar as if you were on a hot air balloon.
Upon that, it was decided that he'd meet you at your place and from there, as much as your lack of energy begged you not to oblige, you'd go ice skating, eat at a café, and maybe go shopping from there on since he'd been meaning to buy you both matching sweaters.
The rest of the afternoon tipped off from your shift, which was tiring as always, but the sleep deprivation from the week was beginning to get to you. Your boyfriend was taking an exam today and meeting with some friends for the day so it eased you to know that he wasn't straining himself.
Your punctuality with exams increased along with the upcoming date of your finals. This meant: more studying, less sleeping. All in all, for today, you were running on at least three hours of sleep.
When you came home from work, your body throbbed and ached in ways only exhaustion could have you and the bed enticed you more than ever but you had to shower.
When you did, your eyes felt heavy and this weight followed you even when you were putting on your makeup.
seungkwannie: hey i'm on my way 💗
You missed him so much you would've cried but again, you had things to do. There was little motivation to do your full on look so some concealer and foundation would suffice. This left extra time for waiting, which is why or how Seungkwan found you napping facedown on the table.
He was shaking your shoulder and you knew it was him because only his hands were simultaneously cool and warm. His voice had you coming to, as well.
"Hey," he uttered, above a whisper almost. "Babe?" Seungkwan called and you finally craned your neck to look up at him. He smiled so warmly, the little dip his mouth made when his lips curved so easily into a gesture that meant the world to you. His hair was dark, a color your eyes were yet adjusting to, and the hoodie he wore localized his prince like aura. He was your boyfriend. You still had a hard time believing it.
"Aw, Y/N," he cooed, pushing back some hair from your mouth, which was now adhesive from some drool. You sat up immediately despite your eyesight being limited from the small amount of swelling. "Good morning!" Seungkwan teased in that decadent yet candle like voice of his. You realized as his hand fell to cup your chin, mirroring the smile he wore.
"Seungkwan, I'm sorry you found me like this," you apologized in a slurred tone as you stretched a little. "I'm ready to go now. Shopping for skates at a café?"
He shook his head at you, smirking now, squeezing your chin before dropping his hand.
"Not quite," he chuckled. You merely blinked at him. "It's ice skating, then café, then shopping. Y/N, you look and seem a bit tired. The weather isn't even up to par for a date. Let's just put a rain check— ”
"No!" You shot up, stammering your retort as your hands grabbed at the coat he wore over his hoodie. How could someone look so cozy and handsome at the same tight?
"Let's go right now. I'm ready." You attempted but he just gave you a look, playful yet scolding.
"God, why are you so stubborn," he whined like a child as he found your hand to hold. You both looked down before meeting each other's eyes. "We could just have a stay at home date if you want, like we've always wanted. Yanno? Be cheesy and watch movies and stuff."
You pouted but eventually obliged.
Plan B became a movie marathon with some snacks on the side with cuddling, despite the fact that it'd be impossible since you had insisted to watch The Conjuring.
"Are you sure you want to watch this?" Seungkwan asked gently into your hair as your laid your head down on his shoulder and intertwined your legs. You nodded quietly, fighting the urge to yawn. He shuddered already as the first scene exhibited itself onto the screen, rubbing your arm back and forth.
The explanation paragraph scene entered and before you knew it, you were snoring on his shoulder. Of course, the music was beginning to get louder and this caused Seungkwan to shiver into you.
"Oh my goodness, what's with the music?!" He exclaimed softly but relaxed as the story finished rolling by.
"Y/N, how are you not even reacti—"
Seungkwan snickered as he lowered the volume of your television and kissed your head, reaching over to grab your phone. Your schedule for work and plan for studying was somewhat in your notes so he was able to see why you were so sleepy, or at least to guess; you saved some photos around four in the morning and took a photo of your notes at six.
Seungkwan's heart dropped further than the center of the earth as he couldn't even imagine the fatigue that was affecting you. He still wanted a date as much as you did but considering the fact that he himself was a bit tired as well and that you looked so cute just on him like this, he wouldn't give this up for the world.
Before a few screams could resound from the movie, he turned it off and adjusted himself so he could hold you against his chest. You made a few noises and nuzzled your face more into him.
"Sh, sh, sh," he snuggled with you a little intimately. "Why didn't you tell me you were working so hard, baby?"
Your ears caught that, despite his little whisper, but you kept your eyes shut as you murmured,
"I do nothing compared to you. I, I, I...I missed you so much and I'd literally deprive myself of all my sleep if it...meant that I could be with you, even for just a moment." You found yourself wanting to cry a little bit but he did it for you by sniffling and enveloping you more.
"I love you so much, oh, God..." Seungkwan cried into your hair while running his hair through it.
"I love you so, so, so..."
"Shut up and go to sleep," he moved his fingers to your lips before pecking them. "My love."
Your date would continue tomorrow morning at breakfast.
#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan#boo seungkwan#seungkwan fluff#seventeen x reader#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios
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sending u this ask as an opportunity for u to talk to me abt fi!! i love ur thoughts n words on things nd i don't send asks as much bc i don't have. good words to talk to u abt stuff but i rlly enjoy just. ur Passion nd stuff. autistic people r the best at talking abt stuff i stand by that we r just Epic. anyways if u wanna, i'd love to hear more about just... how fi sorta. changes, over the game? like the Little Things that show her starting 2 care abt link more, or becoming more "human"!
i love this whole ask. you’re right autistic folks r sexy as hell idk how the divine powers that be fit so much passion into my tiny body but i’m glad they made the attempt.
ANYWAYS FI. i don’t think i’ve ever actually laid this out because for the most part it is incredibly subtle and requires a lot of filling in gaps yourself, and i think that someone who cares less abt her can probably come away from it with an entirely different interpretation. fi’s development of actual feelings are a very sudden a mysterious thing, and i have a LOT of thoughts about them going in a lot of different directions so forgive me if this answer isn’t particularly linear or coherent. i’m not just gonna talk about her slow burn into feeling things, i’m also gonna talk about... why i think it happens.
we don’t get to learn a lot about sword spirits and how they come into being, other than it takes great power to enchant a sword with a spirit/temper a sword with one inside it. hylia obviously created fi and, presumably, demise created ghirahim, and they are pretty much as opposite as two people can be with their only real characteristic in common being precision, intelligence & otherworldly loyalty to their respective masters.
we thus don’t get to learn how much control the creator of a sword spirit has over what kind of spirit comes of it, if their personalities are organic to their experiences or crafted from the moment they awaken. what i mean by this is like... ghirahim could have been a cold, calculating AI like fi when he was first tempered and gained his dramatics over time, we have no idea how long he’s been alive in comparison to her, if his personality is so much more extroverted because he was allowed a life outside his blade whereas fi was isolated in hers for millennia. or if he just came into creation immediately ready to scream and stick his tongue in ppl’s ears.
i swear to god i’m going somewhere with this. ok. anyways.
fi in the beginning of skyward sword is, i think, how most people remember her--data-interested, icy, and detached. there is a reverence in how she addresses link from the start, even before he formally becomes her wielder, but beyond that she is calculating and precise and rarely wastes words. all of this kinda paints a picture of hylia creating fi, to me--breathing life into the spirit and willing her to be effective, be efficient, be loyal, and be sharp. when you have that image in your head, a lot of how fi operates makes sense--she wasn’t created to have emotions, because emotions get in the way of what her purpose is. hylia made a weapon and a servant, not a friend. it sucks to think about, but that is fi’s purpose.
the game is very careful, however, to show you it’s not that simple from the beginning. because hidden in Ice Queen Fi’s introduction is... a surprising amount of personality.
like this shit, where she straightup just dunks gaepora in the trash because his #Lore is out of date. it’s hysterical because you really do not know if she’s just a) an AI who doesn’t understand when she’s being kinda Rude or b) being snarky On Purpose. and that ambiguity in itself crafts this beautiful air of mystery where you, from the get go, don’t entirely know what to expect of fi all the time.
or this, which she says directly after link hesitates to accept the blade:
this scene, which people who have edgier takes on fi constantly use to paint her as intentionally manipulative, where all i see is... her using emotional validation to calm link down enough for him to take in what’s happening. a really important thing about fi is that she’s paradoxically an empath? she can read auras and detect emotion with extreme precision even if she’s incapable of feeling it herself in the beginning. so she knows everything link is experiencing here, understands that it’s holding him back, and takes care to deconstruct the whirlwind of emotion he’s collapsing under and explain to him why he can and should trust her words.
again this is all in her introductory scene. they write her very specifically to be a seemingly flat character with this... rumbling of something more going on under the surface. so much so that the first time you get to a sacred spring and fi, completely randomly, just starts skating across the water’s surface and speaking ancient poeticisms to you, you don’t question it. you’re not like hey, why is sword alexa doing a little dance? you just accept it as something fi is doing, because fi always feels like she’s at her job, and you don’t know how she acts outside of work, but you kinda feel like maybe you want to.
fi’s affinity for music is another way they insert humanity into an AI without making you think too hard about it. singing and dancing are inherently human, artforms are something we associate with the heart and soul. even teaching a robot to paint is, in itself, an art project crafted by a human hand. but you don’t really... consciously think about that, when you watch her do these things. you just kind of accept that she is this otherworldly thing guiding you. you don’t think about the contrast of this programmed assistant performing music alongside you in a sacred ritual. you’re just kind of like, yeah? i can’t JUST play nayru’s wisdom on my harp, i need someone who can sing and god put a vocaloid in my sword???
throughout the game, fi’s dialogue chains when you summon her don’t change in any meaningful way (besides based on what you’re carrying, where you are, etc) but as you near the end, there are a couple things of note. one that sticks out to me is what she says about one of the mid-game minibosses, who is also an artificial intelligence--
a lot of people laugh abt this line and make jokes about fi being hot for the tall handsome robot pirate and they’re valid. but the thing is, like, from the beginning of her mission, fi knew she’d essentially be dying once the world was saved. and early game fi has no hesitations about her part in things regardless, because, as we know, she wasn’t created to feel things like that. she wasn’t created to fear death, to grow attached to life or anyone in it, or to experience sorrow at the idea of saying goodbye. but this is mid-game fi, who still... never says anything she doesn’t deem entirely necessary, but she says this. for no discernible reason, she says this. it’s an unskippable dialogue option, one they WANT you to see and one that is different when you know where she ends up. admiration is already something you wouldn’t really expect of her, but it’s more than that--she’s longing for her own story to mirror it. by the sand sea, fi has started to realize she doesn’t want to go to sleep.
it’s another one of those moments where you’re kinda like, ‘haha, what, fi?' and then move on. another one of those moments where she kinda does something a little unexpected, but not so unexpected you question it too hard. fi excels at those.
before you go off to fight demise, fi stops you to warn you that it is the final battle, and you cannot return. and when you tell her you’re ready, she says this:
as i’ve said, fi doesn’t waste words. almost always, everything she says is for the purpose of efficiency, and rarely does she offer thoughts without fixed probabilities and ultimate endgoals in mind.
this is a sentiment.
it serves no purpose. it is purely an expression of devotion.
and because of EVERYTHING i’ve mentioned thus far, this line both hits you HARD as significant and foreboding in how suddenly tender it is, AND manages to read as in-character for her to say. because the way they write fi’s humanity is so beneath the surface, so easily missable, so hard for me to even lay out with concrete evidence despite the fact that i’m a person who reads a text dump of all her dialogue before bed every night.
but to me, what lays out fi’s inner workings best is actually her actual goodbye, and... not the moment most people would think, tbh? it’s not her tender farewell that speaks her emotions loudest to me, but the moment right before:
these lines, which would read as perfectly in character if it were early game fi, cut you. her complete and utter flippancy, the way she talks about all you’ve been through together as though it were nothing to her, the absolute coldness here after everything. you as a player feel kind of pathetic when she says this, like you were misguided in growing attached to her and thinking of her as a friend. and you KNOW thats the intended effect, because this is what link looks like:
he takes a moment in that last shot to like. swallow sadness and turn away from her, but even as he’s turning his head, he doesn’t take his eyes off her until the last possible moment. she hurts his feelings! why.
because it’s an act, is why. of COURSE fi loves him. of course she’s grown attached to him, of course she’s happy to have known him, of COURSE they’re friends. but fi was NEVER supposed to feel that way, she was never supposed to have the capability to love, and there’s no calculation she can run to set the uncertainties of that at ease within herself. so those lines up above is her trying her best to reset herself to who she was in the beginning, to snap herself back into the role of an emotionless servant to the goddess, to convince herself--not link--that saying goodbye won’t hurt. she’s trying to cope with something she has no idea was in the cards for her, and that’s why she’s seemingly so cruel for a moment.
all of this becomes apparent when she calls him back moments later and tells him how she really feels. there’s major whiplash because fi herself is Going Thru It. but essentially what’s happening in that moment is she thinks she knows what will hurt the least, but she miscalculates and backpedals and realizes even if saying goodbye hurts, it hurts less than pretending she doesn’t want to.
i think a lot of people overlook that line--“the most precious data i have on record.” fi, who contains multitudes within her. who contains knowledge immeasurable, the thoughts and feelings and stories of thousands. of civilizations, of gods, of countless ages passed. everything she holds within her is dwarfed entirely by what she feels for link, beside link. nothing in her encyclopedic knowledge can even compare to her friendship with him in the significance it has to her. like all things, fi has her own way of communicating her meanings, and this is her way of saying she really, truly loves him.
in addition, she very carefully does this after he abandons the sword, so it’s clear that it’s of her own will, not a part of her purpose as his servant. for this whole cutscene, up until she end, she drops the honourific and calls him just Link.
and while i see a lot of people debate if she truly does ‘feel,’ anything, like... she says it right here, she does. whether or not she was able to feel from the beginning or not, she can feel now. she has trouble putting words to those feelings, or explaining to herself and others where on earth they came from... but she feels now. that cannot be disputed.
happiness that she was able to know him. loyalty she wants to transcend lifetimes. sorrow at the idea of them having to part. gratitude that he took the chance, and did so beside her.
let’s talk about gratitude.
in skyward sword, gratitude is a tangible source of magic. it opposes malice, which as of botw is a reoccurring thing in zelda lore. skyward sword has two items--evil crystals and gratitude crystals--that represent malice and gratitude respectively. while the first isn’t entirely relevant, the second is something you’re actively encouraged to more or less harvest by helping people and basking in their thanks toward you. these feelings of gratitude are so canonically powerful in the zelda universe that they can turn monsters into humans entirely, and the outpouring of energy that event causes makes every monster & hostile creature within all of skyloft turn docile at once.
according to batreaux, the monster in question, this is well-established legend, the idea of gratitude granting humanity to the nonhuman. skyward sword literally said the power of love was canon.
the song that plays over the goodbye, of course, is called fi’s gratitude.
this is just one theory i have on the matter, but... whether hylia intended or foresaw fi to be capable of feeling human emotion or not, i do believe it was gratitude that woke her heart up. whether she was meant to love or not, link’s spirit contained within it enough love for the both of them, enough to touch her soul and rouse her from her cold and emotionless state. as always, through everything, they work in perfect tandem--his passionate heart touches hers as it sleeps, her wisdom holds him steady and level-headed.
when fi says “may we meet again in another life,” she says it like a prayer, because it is one--she knows hylia, knows that hylia loved link’s spirit just as she did, and knows that hylia of all people understands what the sword spirit is going through. and fi also knows that hylia immortalizes those she loves with cycles, with reincarnation, eternal life without the pain of never dying. fi doesn’t have a soul that hylia can bring back from death nor a physical body to revive, but she works with what she can--and so long as link’s spirit breathes anew, he finds fi. in a sunlit grove, with light bearing down on her, safe and warm and always loyal, even as the world rages on outside. fidelis, she was named for--“faithful.”
the fandom doesn’t really talk abt it, but fi is an angel. she’s an angel god sent to watch over one human, and when god said your mission is complete fi faced god and walked backwards into hell. her divine mission is long passed, but it stopped being about what she was fated to do long ago.
fi began to watch over link because he was her master. and fi resolved to stay forever because he was link.
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Just Like The Simulations
on the way back home from a music video shoot, he discovers something new when you leave your laptop open.
contains : slight footjob, jerking off in front of a mirror, cum tasting, corruption kink, degradation (use of slut), sub!mark, dom!reader
—
"y/n? i'm home!" mark yells as he enters the front door, dragging his feet on the mat to dust off any dirt before storing them on the shoe rack beside him.
“huh, i thought she said she was home.”
he lifts his phone up, turning it on with its fingerprint recognition feature and looks back on his convo with you. fifteen minutes ago, you mentioned that you were at home, missing him a lot.
he's been very busy lately, preparing for a comeback. on most days, he comes home late at night, tired and grumpy from the lack of sleep. you two barely had any time with each other.
this affected you greatly, sex wise. you were very vocal about your fantasies and kinks with your friends but very rarely talked about it with mark. the kid was innocent. he laughs at penis jokes but doesn't know much about the simplest kinks. you two have only been dating for a few months so you didn't want to scare him with the concept of masochism and mdlb.
he steps inside the living room, setting a plastic bag with food inside on the kitchen counter. "y/n?" he calls out again. no reply.
he walks to the couch and sits down, picking up the remote beside him to turn on the tv when he notices your laptop, wide open on the coffee table. intrigued, he spins it to face him and brings it closer to his side.
the tab was open on a tumblr blog. the username was based on nct and so did the blog. after doing a little light reading, he realizes the blog writes stories about him and other nct members.
he saw one written about jaehyun and finishing multiple times by his dom. another one with jaemin being an obedient little boy. and then, he read his name on one fanfic.
“go on, touch yourself, since you're so brave to jack off without telling me anyway, do it in front of me now.” she commanded.
mark's breath hitches, bringing his hand down to his throbbing dick and jerking it off lightly. his face flushes at the lewd sight she's seeing. he reads, eyes widening at the text he's just understood.
as dirty as it is, he continues reading due to his curiosity.
he looks away, becoming shy at the sudden closeness of his dom. “why so shy now, mark? you knew damn well what you were doing, and now you're here, hiding the fact that you meant to have me walk in on you, like this?"
his pants tighten.
he's not one to dabble into any kinks or any more further than vanilla sex. but this just piqued his interest. in fact, too much, he slid his hand down into his pants.
just as he was about to start, the door knob turns and you enter.
"mark?"
he flinches and looks at you with his eyes wide open in shock. he looks back down at where his hand was and quickly pulls it out.
"you know, i've always taken you as an innocent one but what did i just walk into?" you enter further in the room and close the door behind you.
he has his hands behind his back, smiling at you sheepishly with a tent already formed in his shorts. your eyes dart to your laptop, wide open. he didn't even try to to hide it. you thought.
"so what were you reading?" you crossed your arms, raising a brow.
he freezes. "u-um," he stutters.
"which one was it? jaehyun's? doyoung's?" you say, taking a step closer to him with every name you mention, stopping right infront of him when you say, "or yours?"
he gulps. "it was mine, actually."
you lifts your foot up to press the highest point on his tent lightly. this startles him, seeing your foot rub him through his shorts. he wraps both his hands on your ankle and curls up from the pleasurable sensation surrounding his delicates.
"tsk tsk, you dirty little boy. you made me think you were innocent but after all this time, you were actually a slut." he moans softly, turned on with the little degradation.
"you planned this didn't you? you wanted me to walk in on you? pleasuring yourself without telling me? bad boy, indeed." you rubbed his delicates faster this time. he lets out needy whimpers.
you take your foot off of his dick and bent down, lifting his chin up with your finger and making him look up at you. his innocence still shines in his curious eyes. you melt on the inside, adoring the boy in front of you. it's hard for you to choose whether to praise the boy or punish the slut. you already figured he's be reading the one you were just reading before you left to grab something to eat so punishment would be suitable, considering you walked in on him jacking off.
"do you know what happens to bad boys, love?" you ask.
he shakes his head, a fearful expression spreads across his face.
"go sit in front of the mirror." you said, sternly.
he nods, running to the front of your long body mirror, sitting cross-legged.
you walk behind him, sitting, pressing his back against your chest. you place soft kisses on his neck, down to his shoulders. his mouth is wide open, leaving whimpers. you let your hands explore the little boy, one on his chest, pinching his nipple and the other under his garter. your hand jerks his dick, gripping it tight enough to bring immense pleasure to him. you pull it out, telling him to spit on it to act as lube and to make it easier for you to give him a handjob. you stare at him at the mirror, he looks back at you spitting seductively onto the tip, hissing as soon as the warmth spreads on his head.
you rub it in using your thumb, pressing lightly on the tip. his legs squirm, his head thrown back onto your shoulder. he grabs onto your thighs for stability, his grip getting tighter whenever you hit the spot.
you decide to keep abusing the sensitivity on his tip, rubbing the upper half and the tip at the same time. "look at me mark." you said in a low tone. his pleading eyes look straight at you, who looked at him darkly.
"you look like you need to cum, do you want to?"
"y-yes! please, y/n! i need to cum, it feels too good!" he begs, continuing to squirm.
"ah, you're beginning to sound like a needy slut. how about this, you beg like the slut you are and maybe i'd let you cum." you offer. he doesn't hesitate and obeys right away.
"please, y/n! i'm such a slut for you, please let me cum! please! it's too much for me to handle, it's too sensitive! please, i want to cum!" he yelps.
you bring yourself closer to his ear and whisper, "then cum for me, you dirty slut."
as if on cue, he immediately cums all over your hand. it was his first time ever receiving a handjob so the outcome was a messy situation. there'd be webs of cum between your fingers when you'd spread them.
you bring your hand up to mark's face, pressing your cum-covered thumb on his soft, pink lips. he opens easily, sucking the thumb, eye's shut as he cleans your sinful thumb. you slip your thumb out and kiss him on the lips.
"so, are you into anything else?"
"i'm willing to explore. but, is it okay if keep acting clueless?"
"that's actually not a bad idea."
#sub!mark#mark lee#sub!nct#sub!nct 127#sub!nct dream#nct#dom!reader#i didnt forget your ask i promise#twas just taking a long time for me to get comfy r#writing it
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