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#sorry its so late. work today was draining emotionally
lizzywrites1 · 2 years
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What to do when you feel you can't do anything: Lay on your bedroom floor.
I literally sat on my horse today and laid on her neck in the middle of the arena and she was more than happy to stand there.
This week has been a week.
Sunday: Exhausting. Being left to unpack everything from the show by myself when everyone else went home. Mind you it was two full weeks of stuff. Not to mention having packed all of it into the truck and trailer 95% by myself. Not to mention my trainer wants to retire our school horse in Virgina when he is my reason to live... so I gotta figure that out.
Monday: Broke up with my boyfriend. Not a loss but a relief. Had to figure out plane tickets we got for my friends wedding but thankfully got a full refund. But that was a good thing, just draining to deal with.
Tuesday: Started a new job teaching again, after the trauma of teaching in a middle school with no admin support and being exiled by other teachers. This new school is SO MUCH BETTER ALREADY.
Wednesday: Met the students. They're all very sweet so far and I'm excited to see how they grow. Also my friend had a baby. Very excited for her.
Thursday: After work, I had dinner with some friends and it was much needed. Did night check and cried the whole way home because of the thought of possibly losing my horse because my trainer would definitely take him away from me with no hesitation. I have no legal right to this horse, but I've put years of emotion, money, and time into this horse. Everyone who knows him knows that I'm his human.
Friday (today): I went to the doctor for my shoulder after the fall two weeks ago. I've kissed the dirt enough to know when I'm just sore and when something is wrong. I was sent for xrays, got my flu shot, and scheduled other appointments I needed. I then went to the barn and had the laziest ride ever and then went home.
Basically... I've been so emotionally and physically drained lately that its getting harder and harder to do anything. I can't actually explain how I'm feeling if I don't understand it myself, so when I'm asked about it, I shrug and say its my biannual breakdown and say I'm just tired. Which happens. But I think this one is different...
If you've read this far, thank you for taking the time and I'm also sorry for wasting it.
I hope you have a wonderful day and only good comes your way. ❤️
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wormstacheangel · 3 years
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Suptober Day 1: Harvest
wc: 1.7k tags: fluff with the side of tiny case fic, established relationship, spoilers but cw they are drugged with cider,
It was a long hunt. One that they accepted as their last one, but, of course, they can never sit still enough not to take an easy local hunt. By local, he means a two-day trip away, but still, they saved a couple of old folks from a ghost, which was fun. Dean sure enjoyed getting thrown around until Cas finally burned the dentures.
Like he said, long hunt.
They stayed at a nice little Airbnb overnight. During breakfast, their waitress told them of the Harvest Festival a town over. Cas was still a little bruised up, but Dean convinced him to go, at least to try their famous apple cider.
“We’ll make a day of it! Just me and you.” With that, Cas agreed, taking Dean’s waiting hand across the table.
The festival was lively when they arrived in the afternoon, with more people than they expected considering the small town they were in but apparently when they say famous they meant it. The tents lined up with food from funnel cakes, donuts, chicken, and some pumpkin spice beer that Dean chugged down even though it tasted like shit.
They eventually ended up with bags filled with treats and souvenirs to take home to the kids--Sam and Eileen fall into the kids’ category. They each held a bag while Dean held Cas’ hand tight in his own, dragging him around from seller to seller, buying and tasting as he went.
“We should start heading home, or soon you’ll be too full to drive.” Cas teased as Dean finished off their bag of apple crisps. “You think we’re feeding an army.”
“Considering how Jack eats, we might as well be.”
“He gets that from you, you know.”
They continued their banter as they made their way out of the festival and to the parking lot.
Then they were stopped by a woman wearing a volunteer pumpkin shirt, “Aw, leaving so soon? Don’t ya wanna stay for the fireworks?”
That quickly took Dean’s attention, brightening up his whole face so much that once again, Cas couldn’t find it in himself to refuse. Instead, earning himself a small kiss on the cheek as a thank you before being was dragged to the car to drop off their items.
Once back in the festival, they walked around until another volunteer told them about the amazing view of the fireworks at the middle of the corn maze.
“It’s a small maze, but in the middle is a little hill. So it’s usually first-come, first-serve. But I haven’t heard of anyone taking it as of now.”
Once again, Dean was easily hooked in and took Cas along for the ride. Not that he was complaining. He enjoyed watching Dean get excited over small things, things he wouldn’t have permitted himself to get excited for before. Of course, it helped when Dean hooked his arm around Cas’s waist to tug him close, whispering, “Ever kissed someone in a corn maze, Cas?”
“You know I haven’t, Dean.”
That did it for Cas. A promise of a spectacular kiss that will put the fireworks to shame.
At the entrance of the maze stood a cider cart, and Cas made a beeline for it. “I at least wanna be warm if you are going to make me walk around in the cold.”
“On the house.” The saleswoman winked at them, and something uneasy passed through them, but they ignored it as she motioned them to go right on in that the fireworks should be starting soon.
They took their hot cider and walked right in, taking hold of their hands as they walked through the maze in comforting silence. Watching the sky above them change from orange and pinks to the dark night sky.
When the maze opened up to a clearing, Dean started to run—taking the small space on top. It was tall enough to see over the cornstalk and watch the lights twinkle from the festival up ahead. They could even see groups of people exiting the maze from their left, and for a second, Dean wondered why they didn’t run into anybody on their walkover. It looked like a lot of people were going through the maze, but nobody passed them.
That thought was quickly dismissed as the first firework lit up the sky, cheers from the crowd echoed the loud boom, and Dean felt secure with an arm hooking around his shoulders to bring him in closer. So they sat there watching the firework show and polishing off their now cold cider until Cas couldn’t wait another second.
Gently, he turned Dean’s face just enough so they could start the kiss slowly. The snap crackle pop of the fireworks above their heads just kept lighting up the fuse between them until Cas asked for them to find another place to spend the night.
“Should we go now?” Dean kissed down Cas’s jaw, feeling the hastily nods instead of seeing it. “Okay. Okay, let’s go.”
They both stood up and took one last look at the view before they got down. Turning left, where they were sure they saw the other folks exit from before. Every few steps, they pulled each other for another kiss-- smiling into them like giddy newlyweds--until they started to realize they’ve been walking for way too long.
The fireworks had long been over, and they soon realized it was their only source of light. It soon became so hard to see anything that they didn’t dare let go of each other’s hands. They tried to go back to the hill to see if maybe they could see the trail from there, but it was like it never existed in the first place.
“Fuck!” They turned the corner to find another dead-end. “Isn’t this shit for children!”
“You know we haven’t seen or heard anyone in a while. Not since-”
“We came in here. I know. I was thinking the same thing earlier when we were on the hill.”
“Why didn’t you say anything then?”
“Cause you stuck your tongue in my mouth and impending doom took a backseat.”
They started to run, calling out for help as they did, but it only felt like they were going in circles.
Then Dean yelled, “Hallelujah!” When a flashlight shined into their faces.
“There you two are. It’s time to go.” The old man sounded so relieved to find them. He didn’t look sinister. He didn’t even make it sound like they were gone for that long. “You two okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. We got lost, I guess.” Dean shrugged, watching as Cas stared ahead of him.
“Many people do. But they always find their way out, though.”
They followed the man out of the maze while Dean’s knuckles brushed alongside Cas’. They were listening to the man recite a memory when suddenly Cas tugged at Dean’s arm.
“Dean.” It was a shocking gasp.
“Cas?” Dean turned around to watch; Cas’s eyes rolled to the back of his head before dropping like a ragdoll. “Cas!”
And just like that, Cas was out to the world.
Dean fell to his knees to take Cas into his arms, but it was useless. He was heavy, and Dean’s body was starting to tingle, his muscles becoming weaker with every passing second.
“Don’t you worry about your little friend.” The man flashed his light on Dean’s face. Blinding him, but Dean kept glaring up at him. “Just like you, he won’t feel a thing.”
“What did you do to him?” He tried to growl, but it came out too breathless for it to be threatening.
“Same thing we did to you. Same thing we do every year to a couple of tourists.”
Dean could feel himself slipping out of consciousness, but he kept trying to shield Cas from whatever was coming.
“Don’t fight it, boy.” The man walked over to him, raising his flashlight high above his head. “Hate it when they struggle.”
And with a single hit, Dean was knocked out. Falling over Cas. Hoping that at least he gets killed first this time around.
Dean woke up again when he felt someone kicking his legs with little to no effort. His arms were numb, and he realized it was because they were pulled back and tied around some huge boulder.
“Dean?”
Dean recognized the voice and happily groaned out a complaint. “Hate small towns. Creeps. All of them.”
Cas chuckled in relief. “Glad you’re okay.”
Dean blinked a couple of times before his eyes focused, looking across from him to find Cas in the same position as him. Cas looked dirty, a few scratches on his face from being dragged, which made Dean furious—tugging at the ropes that hold him back from checking for any more injuries.
“Fuck! Shit! You okay? They hurt you?”
“Not as much as they did you.” Dean didn’t feel much pain besides the stretch on his shoulders and a raging headache. “I guess that’s not true. You have a swell on your head.”
“Yeah, well, I went down swinging. Unlike you.” Cas didn’t look amused, but he looked concerned. Dean followed his gaze, looking for an explanation or a way out. “I guess we’re either bait or dinner.”
“I’m used to being bait.”
“And I’m used to being dinner. Well, aren’t we a match made in heaven?” This time Cas glared, and weirdly enough, it made Dean relax a little. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
The plan was simple, while Cas may not be a full-powered-up angel, he was still an angel. And he was stronger than an average human. So with a little more force, Cas had his arms free, rubbing his wrist while shrugging at Dean, “I always see humans do this.”
“Yeah, cause it hurts, so if you can just-” Dean motioned for his arms and Cas quickly reached to untie him. Then, when they were both free, they once again started to look around the empty cornfield. “I say leave now and call for backup; come back in the morning.”
“Considering we have no weapons, I think that would be for the best.”
“So much for date night.” Dean took Cas’s hand, and they quickly started to get themselves out of there. Running like maniacs as they pushed through the endless corn.
“I actually enjoyed myself today. You know, before the whole being drugged and left for dead part.”
“Really? That was my favorite part.” Dean joked, squeezing Cas’s hand as they made their way to safety. “You think all the stuff we bought was drugged?”
“Won’t stop me from having another donut.”
“Man, I love you.”
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darthkruge · 3 years
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Hello! Could you do an Anakin x reader where the reader is jealous of Padmé so goes on a walk through the night, and leaves a little trinket of hers so Ani doesn’t worry. She runs into a bounty hunter and Ani senses her danger through the force and saves her? Thanks 🥰
Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Jealousy and Rescues
Summary: Jedi!Reader gets themself in some trouble after going on a walk during the night and Anakin comes to their aid
Warnings: Angst, jealousy, torture (knives), blood, kidnapping, ends w/ fluff I promise
Words: 3.8k
A/N: Yess!! I loved writing this so much and I’m sorry it took me longer than I expected to get out. I think I went a bit angstier than your request implied but that’s where my brain was at today slfksjd! I am also rushing to post this so if there are some grammatical errors whoops
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After a few threats to the Senate, your boyfriend was assigned as Padme’s bodyguard. You knew, rationally, their relationship was strictly professional. He’d never be disloyal towards you and you did trust him. There was nothing for you to worry about. Or, at least, that’s what you repeatedly told yourself as you saw them walking and laughing together. 
Being in a secret relationship is difficult, you wouldn’t deny. Especially when your boyfriend was one of the most attractive and charming men in the entire galaxy. You would see people flirt with him constantly and there was nothing you could do without jeopardizing both of your careers as Jedi. 
You played with the necklace he had given you when you spent your first Life Day together all those years ago. Your home planet on one side, Coruscant on the other, symbolizing your past and your future -- your future with Anakin. It always calmed you; it was something you could hold and feel in public, a reminder of the realness of your hidden romance. 
You let out a sigh, dropping the pendant as you tried to shake off the unease you felt as you watched them interact. It mostly worked, too. When you remembered all Anakin had done for you, the intense moments of happiness and love you’d shared, you never felt more secure. But for some reason, as you saw Anakin lean down so Padme could whisper something in his ear, that anxious and guilty warmth ran through your veins.
You hated feeling jealous. It didn’t matter that you logically knew you had nothing to fear, the emotion remained. It embarrassed you, making you feel childish and small. It made you want to crawl out of your skin and hide away, yet simultaneously run up to Anakin and beg him for reassurance. It made you hate Padme, a woman so kind you cursed yourself for feeling that way. It made your mind run wild, conconting torturous scenarios that made your insecurities flair. 
Even though it brought you pain to watch, you had to expend great energy to tear your eyes away from them. You returned to your apartment, waiting for Anakin’s shift to be over. All you wanted was some time alone with him, to hear him tell you how much he loved you, to feel his arms around you and lips against yours. To hear him gently laugh as he picks up on your jealousy and mumble reassurances into your ear. You awaited his beautiful words that would evidently overtake your thoughts and leave you feeling secure and peaceful. 
Letting your brain run for a while, you felt yourself unconsciously picking at your fingernails and playing with your hair, doing anything to keep yourself busy. You jumped as C3PO entered your room, too lost in thought to register anyone’s presence. 
“I apologize Master L/N, but Master Skywalker instructed me to inform you that he will be working late this evening.”
You felt your heart start to pound as your eyes grew heavy with tears. “Threepio, what do you mean? Did he tell you why?”
“Senator Padme has to go to a special dinner this evening to meet with the leaders of some other planets and he must accompany her.”
“Oh.”
C3PO walked closer to you. “Are you alright, Master L/N? Should I call for Master Anakin?”
You shook your head, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes. “I’m fine, thank you.” You said, trying to keep your voice as even and happy as you possibly could. 
The droid exited your apartment as you walked onto the balcony, the cold air hitting your cheeks and quelling the hot embarrassment that flowed through you. There is nothing to worry about, you rationalized. These dinners are formalities, Padme goes to them all the time! And Anakin is just her bodyguard, he would never cheat on you! 
Even as you thought the words, you felt frustratingly unconvinced. You decided to go for a walk, the silence in the apartment that your boyfriend was supposed to be back at driving you mad. Even so, you didn’t want him to worry on the off chance he returned home before you. Sighing, you slid the necklace off and placed it on the nightstand, quickly scribbling a note that read “on a walk, be home soon.”
You pulled your Jedi robes closer around you as you walked the Coruscant streets. You had no particular destination in mind, nor did you know how long you intended to be gone for. You let your body drive you, walking around as if in a haze while using all your energy to expel the thoughts from your mind. You made random turns, walking in various directions until you felt yourself calm. 
You looked up and to your left and smiled as you saw your apartment. Anakin. You smiled to yourself and shook your head at your foolishness. You didn’t know why you’d gotten so worked up over his and Padme’s relationship; at the end of the day, he would always return home. 
 Perhaps this was why you weren’t paying attention. Or maybe it was the way you were focussed on  Anakin’s force signature, honing in on him and letting the rest of the world fade away. It could have been your exhaustion, emotionally drained for the day. Whatever the reason, you were unprepared when a dark figure jumped out of the shadows and stunned you. All you knew was that one minute you were on your way home to him and the next you were surrounded by darkness as the ground quickly caught up to you.
Anakin rushed out of dinner, feeling quite guilty for leaving you alone all day. He hated working late, especially during the few times you and him were both on Coruscant. Frequently, your missions kept you apart and, thus, the days where you were home together were sacred. He reached out to you, surprised to not feel your force signature in the apartment. 
He opened the door and was met with a darkness and stillness that immediately set him off. He pulled out his lightsaber but was careful not to ignite it just yet. He looked around and came upon your note and necklace and relief flowed through him. However, he couldn’t shake the sense that something was off. The words in your note felt clipped and cold and he knew you must not have been happy to hear he was running late. 
He walked to the balcony, trying to see you but quickly realizing the futility of the plan. He paced in the apartment, reaching out farther with the Force. Although he hadn’t completely found you, Anakin’s blood ran cold as he sensed with overwhelming clarity that you were in danger. You wouldn’t have lied to him about your whereabouts so he knew you were on foot and, thus, couldn’t have gone too far. All he hoped was that he found you quickly and wasn't too late. 
You groaned, already knowing what had happened. The Council already briefed the Jedi that there was an uptick in bounty hunters throughout the galaxy, specifically those targeting the Jedi order. You couldn’t believe you were stupid enough to walk around, unnattentive, through alleyways, at night. The bounty hunter came into your cell and pulled off her mask. Her features were sharp, her face hardened. You looked into her eyes and were met with a predatory gaze. 
“What are you going to do with me?” You almost didn’t want her to answer. 
The woman simply laughed. “Kill you, of course. But why not have a little fun first? I bet you’d look so nice begging for mercy.”
“I’ll die before I beg for anything from you.” You spat.
“I’m sure I can accommodate both of those things, sweetheart.” With that, she grabbed a knife and plunged it into your foot, anchoring it to the floor. 
You bit your lip, tasting blood as you tried not to scream. You clenched your fists, your hands shackled above your head. Your foot felt hot, the crimson blood running down its sides. Just as the pain began to numb, the woman pulled out another blade and slowly cut the bottom of your other foot. 
You screwed your eyes shut, desperately trying not to give in. She laughed at your feeble attempts before bringing the knife down. The force she used pierced through both muscle and bone and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out an involuntary cry.
Your brain was a muddled mess, tears leaking down your face as you willed your pained whimpers to die in your throat. She cut through your pants and into your thighs. With each line she carved, you felt more and more helpless. She made her incisions deep and languidly, as if pulling every ounce of blood from your body. You tried to squirm away from the blade but the twisting movements made the knives dig even deeper into your feet. 
You tried to reach for Anakin, for some reminder that there was peace waiting for you if you could only hold out through this. You faintly felt his force signature. He’s still out there. He’ll come for me, I know he will.
“Ready to beg yet, Jedi?” She cooed, the tip of her knife under your chin, forcing you to meet her eyes. 
Your gaze hardened as you thought of him. She would never take you from him, nothing could tear you and Anakin apart. Your determination remained. She’s not going to break me.
“Never.” Even as the tears ran down your cheeks, even as you felt your grip on the world weakening, you’d never meant a word more than that. 
“We’ll see about that.”
You cried out as her knife cut across your cheek. The sharp sting from the newer and shallower cuts  combined with the throbbing ache in your legs and feet. The sensation and blood loss made you dizzy. Even so, you forced yourself to remain conscious. You’d get through this, you had to. 
Anakin drove his speeder through Coruscant, following a combination of his instincts and the Force to track you down. Every minute, he felt your fear and pain intensify through your Force bond and he grew more and more desperate. By now, he knew you must have been taken by a bounty hunter, there was no other explanation. However, he was occasionally met with a spark of determination and defiance.
He smiled. Whoever had you might be causing you pain, but you definitely weren’t an easy capture. Pride filled him as he thought of your strength. You’d get through this, you had to. Hang on, Y/N, just a little while longer.
The bounty hunter had left the room a few minutes ago, probably frustrated of waiting for you to give in. She’d moved onto cutting through your shirt, your stomach and chest now littered with deep, red, lines. It hurt to breathe, every movement tugging at one of the gashes and causing more blood to ooze out. You were honestly surprised there was still blood left in you to give, as your head felt light and body heavy.
You were so weak, so dizzy that you couldn’t support your own weight anymore, even sitting down. Your head hung down, lolling unimpressively as your neck refused to cooperate. Your mind was swimming and you were delirious, half-convinced you were already dead. 
“Y/N!” 
You used all your energy to lift your head, meeting a pair of beautiful blue eyes that you would recognize anywhere. 
“Anakin,” You breathed out. “Anakin please, help me.” 
“Shh, it’s okay.” He knelt down beside you and you looked at him, immeasurable relief coursing through you. 
He put his hand gently to your cheek, careful to avoid your cuts. “Hold on, Y/N.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, confused. “Why aren’t you helping me?”
“Hold on.” The whisper of Anakin’s voice remained in the air as his figure melted away. You screamed in agony, despair clutching at your soul. You desperately looked around, willing the hallucination back to you. Even if it was a cruel trick your fatigued, weak, blood-loss ridden mind created, you wanted him back. 
“Please, Anakin, please come back to me!” You cried. You sobbed, the pain of losing him in any form impossible for you to bear. 
You begged and begged and begged, trying to will him back to you. You screamed and thrashed until your hands wore raw against your restraints, until your cuts had reopened, until your throat was sore and your eyes burned from crying. 
You whimpered out one final plea before your eyes fluttered shut, the fight completely drained from your soul.
Anakin’s heart pounded. He could feel you slipping away, your determination slowly fizzing out. He couldn’t blame you; these bounty hunters were notorious for their torture, for leaving their victims as broken shells before they were killed. He forced the image out of his mind, refusing to think of you in that position. 
Finally, he made it to an abandoned building on the edge of Coruscant. The Force had guided him here and he felt you strongly, or as strongly as he could given your broken state. He jumped out of the speeder and saw a woman twirling a knife, leaning against a wall. 
Igniting the lightsaber, he walked up to her.
“Anakin, I presume?” 
He froze but quickly regained his composure, eyeing her and trying to figure out what her motives were. 
“Don’t fret, young Jedi. They were just calling for you. Quite pathetic if you ask me.”
“If you hurt them I swear-”
The bounty hunter’s lips curled into a bone chilling smile, giving Anakin all the answers he needed. He swung his lightsaber, deflecting her blaster shots with ease. She pulled out two knives and threw one at his middle, making Anakin jump to the side to escape the blade. 
Anakin twirled the saber, once again trying to get traction. She was quick, swinging herself up onto the room of the building by flipping backwards from the balcony. He, however, was quicker. Anakin jumped up gracefully, continuing to spin his weapon and stalk her in this intense, choreographed dance they were engaged in. 
The woman sent her other knife flying at Anakin’s neck and he used his trained reflexes to catch the hilt right before it cut through his skin. Now, it was his turn to smile. He watched as her expression faltered, paying attention to her footing to sense her next move. He followed her, catching up quickly before running the blade through her, barely waiting for her body to drop before bounding off the roof and into the building to find you.
His breath caught as he took you in. Your unconscious body was limp and blood was seeping out of you. He grimaced, seeing the blades running through your feet. As much as he didn’t want you to lose more blood, he needed to remove the knives in order to carry you out of here. Your flesh squelched as he pulled the blade out as evenly as he could and a low whimper escaped your throat. 
“Y/N, Y/N can you hear me?”
“No, no, no, no, no, please, not again!”
“Angel it’s alright, I’m not gonna hurt you.” Anakin said, moving to meet your eyes.
“You’re not- this isn’t- no!” You tried to pull yourself away from him, unable to watch this hallucination falter. 
“Y/N, please, let me help you. I need to get you out of here before you lose any more blood.”
“This isn’t real!” You screamed. “Please, stop, this isn’t real! You’re not here, you’re not here, you’re gone, I’m gone, it’s not-” You continued to spew unintelligible words, tears already bubbling up in your throat. 
Anakin caught on to what was happening. “Angel, look at me. I promise I’m here. I’m real, okay? Please believe me.”
“I can’t!” You sobbed. “I can’t let myself hope again!”
“Y/N, okay, okay. Remember that necklace I gave you? It had your home on one side and ours on the other. You left it for me, a token to prove that you were safe when you went for a walk. I think you were angry with me; I was working late because I was guarding Padme, remember? It’s me, I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Despite yourself, you believed him. “Ani.” You said softly, tears coming to your eyes as you allowed yourself to have faith that you would be alright. 
“Yes, my love, it’s Anakin. I need you to be still for me, okay? It’s going to hurt but I need to get us home.”
You nodded, cries escaping you as he pulled the second knife from your foot. Your vision went white, the pain profound. Anakin gently hushed you, hand smoothing down your thigh to comfort you as he worked. He went to your restraints next, releasing your hands and watching as they fell heavily. He caught your body as it wrenched forward, making you gasp as the cuts on your chest came in contact with him.
Anakin apologized quickly, pulling off his robe and wrapping it around your body, your cut clothing offering almost no protection from the cold, nighttime air. He also wanted to help you as your body was clearly going into shock from the trauma.
Anakin placed you in his lap, holding you to him with one hand and driving with the other. For anyone less talented at riding a speeder it would have been precarious. You weakly wrapped your arms around him, too, as best as you could. 
You were in and out of consciousness the whole way back, barely registering how Anakin pulled you up and into his arms, the sway of his walking faster and more desperate than usual. He went into medbay, placing you gingerly on a bed and calling over a medical droid to determine the extent of your injuries.
Noting how empty it was, Anakin took the risk and held your hand. He knew it was dangerous, the fear of getting caught weighing constantly on both your minds. But after he almost lost you, nothing else mattered. 
The droids informed him that you had lost a severe amount of blood, but the cuts themself should heal with time. He breathed a sigh of relief as he realized you would be fine. Anakin begged them to let him take you back to your room, saying that the trauma from the torture would only grow worse if you woke up in an unknown environment. 
They allowed, so long as he made sure you were supervised and rested for at least the next week. He agreed hurriedly before scooping you back up. You groaned at the movement and he whispered a quick apology, trying to get you into your bed as soon as possible. 
He set you down, resting your back against the pillows just as you liked. You were all bandaged up and looked so fragile in your current state, a far cry from what he was used to. He hated it. You were such a skilled Jedi, he sometimes forgot that you were vulnerable, too, and this reality check was immensely painful. 
He watched over you as you slept, refusing to move for hours. Finally, your eyes opened and  you  looked at him blearily. 
“Hi.” You croaked out. 
Anakin’s eyes snapped up to yours, gently laughing from the relief of hearing your voice and its gravelly tone. He floated the cup of water by your nightstand to your mouth while using his other hand to brace your neck, coaxing you into a sitting position so you could easily swallow the liquid.
You hummed your thanks as he slowly set you against the pillows. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner, I should have told the Council I couldn’t do the extra meeting and just come home.”
“No, Anakin, it was your job, I shouldn’t have been upset. I was just jealous, I guess. I saw you and Padme together and,” You trailed off. It felt so unbelievably stupid now. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have left, I shouldn’t have been so careless.”
Anakin’s eyes were understanding. “It’s okay, my love. But you have absolutely nothing to worry about. The only reason I was with Padme for dinner was because the Council assigned me to. No one could make me willingly skip dinner or anything else with you.”
“I know” You said sheepishly.
“I love you, angel. No one even comes close. I promise, I’ll never leave you.”
“I love you too, Ani.” 
He carefully connected his lips with yours, hyper aware of your injuries and not wanting to cause you  any more pain than you’ve already been through. 
“Lie with me?”
Anakin nods as you scoot over. He climbs into bed and allows you to situate yourself. You eventually find a position that doesn’t put strain on your cuts and bruises and you smile, leaning your head against his chest. He gingerly puts his flesh hand around your back, looking at you to see if it’s okay. You nod reassuringly and Anakin lets his arm rest there, fingers gently running through your hair.
“I was so scared, Anakin. I thought I’d never see you again.” You say, breaking the silence.
He looks at you, silently encouraging you to go on, if you so wanted.
“I hallucinated you, you know? I thought you’d come for me. But you told me to hold on and then you disappeared.” Your voice was barely a whisper at the end, tears leaking onto his chest. 
“I’m so sorry.” Those words were all he could give. He spoke them with such meaning and love that you melted. None of this was his fault.
“I love you.” You replied, your words carrying the same intensity as his. 
Anakin brought his metal arm around, too, to further hold you to him. 
“You’re never going to lose me, okay? I will always come for you, I will always protect you. With everything I am, I will always love you.” 
“I know.” Your voice was loving and soft, exhaustion once again pulling at you.
He kissed the top of your head. “Get some sleep, Y/N. You’ll need a lot of it.”
“Hmm?” You questioned tiredly
“They assigned you to at least a week of complete rest.”
“What?!”
“Shhhh, go to sleep, angel.” Anakin chuckled. 
You huffed but nuzzled closer to him. You were too drained to fight it and too happy to finally be back in his arms. Nothing could ruin the moment.
----
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lovesanmotion · 3 years
Text
ateez reacts: making up with their s/o
💌 This is: Requested | Alot of you have asked for a part 2 of the arguement reaction and now here I am to deliver all of you its part 2 
Hongjoong: 
A week. That’s what it took long for Hongjoong to go after you. After you had left the shared apartment, it was never the same for him again. Hee started coming to work hours late, work productivitiy low and once caused destruction on the coffee machine because the coffee didn’t taste the same just like how you’d do it. He was slightly thankful that he still has his job despite the mess he placed upon himself. 
Hongjoong knocked on the door to your parents’ house. A bouquet of flowers in his hand to let you know that he always has you on his mind. As the door opened, he was surprised to a new you. A new you wherein there was this certain glow in you, the wrinkles and tiredness away from your face. The sense knocked into Hongjoong: he was the cause of the problem. 
“W-What are you doing here?” You asked, staring at him and then eyeing the flowers in his hand. 
Hongjoong smiles and hands you to the bouquet, to which you accept. “I came here to apologize. You might still hate me and seeing my face right now is probably making your blood boil...but I’ll get into it. I’m sorry, and I miss you. Marrying you is the best thing I ever did. And I’m ready to give you all the children you and I wish to have. But, I’ll give you more time and space. It’s what you need right now. It was nice seeing you, Y/N.” As Hongjoong was about to leave the walkway, a hand gripped on his forearm. His heart raced inside his chest, as he turns around to face you, a soft smile paints your small lips. 
“Stay with me.” 
Seonghwa: 
After plates, knives and forks were thrown to one another, Seonghwa took a break on you and met up with other women. Going on dates and having drinks with them, he couldn’t even look at them the way he would look at you. It had been half a year since he lost contact with you. Until one day, while he was about to get ready to go on a date with this women who his friend set him up with, he received a phone call from an unregistered number. Nevertheless, he picked it up. 
“Hello?” 
“This is Park Seonghwa, right?” On the other line sounded like a voice of an older woman. 
“Who is this?” 
“I’m sorry for calling without notice. I’m Y/N’s mother. Y/N has been missing since last night.” Seonghwa couldn’t hear anything what your mother is saying, quickly taking his keys, phone and wallet before dashing out the door. 
“Where was she last seen ma’am?” He quickly gets inside his car, pressing the keys to start the engine. 
“Central Park in the city, the one called Seoul forest. We called for a search team earlier today but they couldn’t find her.” Your mother’s voice began to break, Seonghwa’s heart started to beat immensely. 
“I’ll bring her back to you” He says before ending the call and driving off. You see, Seonghwa didn’t used the word “try” in his sentence. It is because whether it takes him hours, he would thoroughly look for you all by himself. 
And deep within the forest, Seonghwa kept yelling your name, it was dark and cold and he’s all alone. His suit all covered up with sweat, dirt and leaves. As he went further, Seonghwa found an abandoned bus inside the forest, he didn’t know how could a bus fit in the forest’s narrow road but he went aboard it alas, found you in the middle row. 
He wanted to get mad at you, scold at you for getting your mother and him worried. But he couldn’t bring himself to do so, instead, he wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly, breaking into small sobs. 
“I didn’t think it would be you who’d find me” you whispered, burying your face on his shoulder. 
“I should’ve hugged you the last time I saw you” 
Yunho: 
You lifted your suitcase up and strolled it inside the airport. A week program in Jeju is exactly what you needed to get your life back together. Finally, it is you. No more hiding and pretending to be someone you’re not for Yunho. 
While waiting to be called in the immigration, you sat at the lounge area, scrolling through your phone when you heard a commotion and rushed footsteps, tilting your head, you saw a crowd of men, women and Yunho? You watched as Yunho moved his head right and left as if he was looking for someone, and when your eyes met his, he walked towards you. 
“Isn’t that Yunho? What’s he doing here?” 
“Who is that Yunho going to? Isn’t he and Nayoung together?” 
“Whoever she is, she’s ruining their relationship” 
“You’re leaving without saying goodbye?” He asks, you scoffed, closing your phone. “I’ve already said my goodbyes to everyone. Except you. Why should I?” Standing up, you grabbed the handle of your luggage and was about to wheel it away when Yunho caught its handle. 
“And you’re leaving, just like that?” You spun around, looking at Yunho in the eyes with your tears forming. 
“We tried to make it work right?” Despite the tears threatening to fall down and your nose turning red, you smiled to him. 
“Yunho, I’m tired.” You whispered as a tear slips out of your eye. “I looked for you in places I knew there would be you. But it was you who kept walking away, and I’m tired of chasing you.” small sobs finally broke out, but still, a crowd of women surrounded the two of you with camera’s pointing at you both.  
“I’m sorry.” Yunho says, head hung low. “I’m sorry if I made things worst for the both of us.” He pauses, catching a tear fall down on the floor. “But now I know, that you’re really for me. Even if its going against my family, I’d do anything for you to keep you in my life.” He finally lifted his head up, eyes red and tears streaming down his face. 
Yeosang: 
“The worst thing I ever did is that...I depended my happiness with you.” 
Yeosang and his other woman were caught redhanded by you last night. And you hated how he showed no mercy or remorse for you. 
“But I wanted to say thank you for you. Thank you for all the memories we’ve shared. Even if it was short, I’ll treasure them. The good and the bad. Goodbye, Yeosang.” And with that, you got up and left. 
San: 
There was no closure between the two of you. You and San separated paths together and have been doing everything you both wanted. And you think it’s better that way, because you were done and tired. Having to put up with him always was draining you emotionally and physically. As if its only you who cares about the relationship. Although he left you traumatized, you were slowly coping up before you could face the world again. 
Mingi: 
Red. That was all you could see. You trashed and threw everything in sight, causing a mess all over your room and it took about five people to stop you from destructing your whole room. You wondered if you really deserve love at all, because right now, all you ever feel is rage. 
Wooyoung: 
Woo took his sweet time and met with multiple women, hooking up with them on random nights before calling a cab to take them to the nearest hotel. But get this, Woo never kissed them. Not once. He never got off with them, and often time, he would get annoyed at how whiny and demanding they could get in bed. And one night when he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts drifted to you. He wondered if you were sleeping well right now, where you are and wondering how well you are. His thoughts brought him back to all the memories he shared with you. A small smile paints his lips until he groaned, lifting his head slightly as he sees his cock erected up. 
“You miss her too, huh?” 
Jongho: 
A day after you and Jongho fought, he started to become around at home more often. He would lightly scold you if you did house chores as he would always volunteer to do it for you and would tell you to just lay down and take a rest. Whenever the baby would cry in the middle of the night, Jongho would only tell you to go back to sleep as he could handle this. And you did, you went back to sleep, only to be awake a few minutes after about how cold the spot next to you is. 
Slowly you got up and went over to the baby room, your heart swelled at the sight of Jongho sleeping in the couch with your child laying down on top of his chest. 
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bellisperennis0 · 3 years
Text
The Bet
Tumblr media
Word count: 1,924
Warnings: None
A/N: Two stories in two days, who even is she? Feel like there isnt enough Coco, so enjoy some sweet Coco fluff. As always Thank You for reading. GIF credit to @angels-reyes​  ❤️
--------------------
Walking out the Police Station, you roll your eyes as you spot Coco out front leaning against his car.
“I hate you for calling him Franky.” You say as you look over at Franky, who was walking you out.
“Yeah, yeah. You’ll thank me later.” He tells you.
“Hay, thank you for this Franky. I owe you.” Coco tells Franky as you two approach him.
“Did it more out a favor for her then anything.” He tells Coco. “You good?” he then turns to ask you.
“I would rather sleep on that nasty ass cell bench, then go with him.” You spit out, crossing your arms across your chest.
“You going to be okay with her?” Franky asks Coco.
He just chuckles, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Coco tells him as you just roll your eyes at his comment.
“Please don’t give him a hard time, Y/N. Get home safe.” Franky tells you as he gives your arm a gentle squeeze before heading back into the Police Station.
“Let’s get you home, querida.” He says.
“You have no right to call me that.” You shoot at him.
“Let me take you home, please.” He says as he opens the car door and waits for you to finally slide in.
----------
Two months. That is how long it had been since the last time you had seen Coco before tonight.
The last clubhouse party you went to, a drunken Gilly had let slip that the reason Coco was with you, was because he had made a bet with him that he couldn’t get you to sleep with him. Your entire relationship based off a stupid bet; nearly a year down the drain.
To say you weren’t taking the break up well was an understatement. Most nights EZ or Angel was around to keep you from completely spiraling out of control. Tonight was your rock bottom.
After much convincing from your friends, you decided to get out for the night and enjoy some drinks at the local bar with some of your girlfriends. You were having a great time, until you spotted, Marie, one of Vicki’s girls at the other end of the bar. She was always trying to push up on Coco, even though he always turned her down and was well aware that you were with him. She was also the one you found sitting on Coco’s lap, tongue down his throat, the night you decided to try and talk things out with Coco a couple weeks after Gilly told you about the bet.
The second you spotted her at the bar, you instantly saw red. Next thing you knew you were being pulled off her by security, hand cuffs being slapped onto your wrist shortly after. Leading to Coco coming to your unwanted rescue.
Now you were sitting next to Coco as he drove you home. As angry and hurt as you were, you couldn’t deny how much you have missed him. The scent of his cologne, mixed with smoke and exhaust, wafting in the car overtaking your senses. A part of you wanted nothing more than for him to reach over and just take you into his arm. Another part of you wanted to yell and scream at him, letting him know how hurt you were.
---------
At some point during the drive you had fallen asleep, slightly waking up as you felt Coco gently lying you down in your bed.
“I hate you so much, but I love you even more.” You mumbled as Coco went about taking off your shoes.
Placing a kiss to your head and pulling the covers over you, “Get some sleep, querida.” He tells you as he gently moves a strand of hair from your face.
“Please don’t go.” You mumble again as you roll over and cuddle more into the pillow, his pillow.
“I’ll be on the sofa if you need me.” He tells you as he makes sure you are fast asleep before slipping out to the living room.
---------
Waking up the next morning, you grumble as everything that happened the night before hits you like a freight train.
Looking over to your night stand you make note of how late in the day it already was, but then notice the bottle of water and Gatorade, and a couple Advil’s also sitting on your night stand. Clearly placed there by Coco.
‘Fuck’ you grumble under your breath. Completely embarrassed at the way you acted, and that fact that Coco had to see you the way you were last night.
After getting a well needed shower in, you prayed Coco had some club business to deal with and was long gone. The second you stepped out into the hallway and heard the TV playing in the living room, you knew he was still around.
Walking into the Living Room you couldn’t help but smile as you found Coco sprawled out on the sofa, fast asleep, with some well forgotten sports game playing on the TV. How you would usually find him on most Sundays or his days off.
Tip toeing past him, making your way into the kitchen to make some coffee, you do your best not to wake him.
As you waited for your coffee to brew, you were staring into space, the night’s events on a constant loop in your head.
“How you feeling?” you hear Coco’s voice, causing you to jump slightly, bring you out of your daze.
“Like a fucking idiot. I’m really sorry about last night.” You confess.
“Think I’m the one that should be apologizing.” He tells you, unable to meet your eyes.
Unsure of what to say or even if you were emotionally ready for this conversation that you knew you two needed to have, you fidgeted with your hands, avoiding his gaze.
“You want some coffee?” you finally break the silence as you go about grabbing a couple mugs out of the cabinet.
“That’ll be great!” he says.
You poured him his cup, adding in sugar and a splash of milk, just like he likes it. He gives you a smile as you handed it to him.
“Sorry. Old habits.” You shyly tell him.
“Its perfect. Thank you.” He smiles as he takes a sip.
Trying your best to keep yourself busy and put some distance between you two, you make your way back to the living room, finding anything that you thought could use some tidying up. Clearly there was nothing.
“You didn’t have to stay all day, I’m sure the club needed you more.” You say from the other end of the living room.
“It wasn’t a problem. Bish understood.” He tells you as he finally makes his way into the living room.
Making his way towards you, he gently reaches out to grab your arm, as you absentmindedly fidget with the magazines on your coffee table.
“Hey.” He whispers to get your attention.
Exhaling you finally look up to meet Coco’s eyes, your heart clenching at all the sadness you find.
“Can we please talk?” he asks as he steps back a little, pointing towards the couch.
Nodding your head you make your way to sit on the couch, your breathe catching in your throat at the closeness between the two as he takes a spot on top the coffee table in front of you.
Without warning you burst into tears, hands instantly covering your face as you sobbed. On instinct, Coco is quick to pull you into his arms.
“Hey. Hey. It’s okay.” He whispers as he gently stroked your hair, trying his best to calm you.
“I miss you so fucking much.” You manage to say in-between sobs.
“I know, querida. I know. I’m so fucking sorry.” He says as his voice slightly cracks.
After releasing all that pent-up emotions, you pulled away from Coco sitting back onto the sofa. Giving him a small smile as he wiped away your tears.
“I know no matter what I say, it won’t make the situation any better. Yes, I had a stupid bet going with Gilly when I asked you out. The only reason I agreed to it was because I’ve been wanting to ask you out for the longest time, but was too scared to ask you, afraid you didn’t see me in that way. The bet with Gilly was a push to man up and finally ask you.” He started, his thumb rubbing small circles on your hand, letting you process everything he was throwing at you.
“Why didn’t you just ask me? Why did you need a stupid bet to do it?” you ask him.
“Come on querida. No way someone as perfect as you falls in love with a complete fuck up like me. I always thought you were too good for me.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Coco always told you he was not good enough for you, you knew how he felt, but you never saw him that way.
“And look how well we work together.” You tell him, giving him a smile.
He smiled back, “we are pretty fucking perfect together.” He says giving your hand a kiss.
“Sure at first I wanted nothing more than to sleep with you, but then I got greedy, and I wanted you to love me. I’m sorry for everything. For that stupid ass bet, you seeing that sucia on my lap, tongue down my throat, not fighting for us. For all of it. And I’ll spend forever and a day proving that to you.” He tells you as he gives your hand a gentle squeeze.
“It’s going to take some time to get over the hurt, but I can’t go on without you, Johnny. I love you!” you tell him, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.
In an instant Coco’s lips were on yours, taking you into a passionate, needy kiss. Moaning into the kiss, you bask in the moment. In how much you have missed his kisses, his scent, his touch, him.
Coco breaks the kiss, both gasping for air, your lips tingling from the slight stumble on Coco’s face. Moving to sit on the sofa next to you, he pulls you to straddle his lap.
“Do you know what today is?” you ask him as you gently caress the nape of his neck.
You sit and watch as he places his back onto the couch, trying his best to figure out what day it was. You giggle when you notice his eyes go wide.
“Holy shit! Is that today?” he asks you in surprise.
“Mmm-hmmm, that’s today.” You tell him
“Well that’s a good thing I have this with me.” He says as he reaches over for his kutte that was lying on the arm of the sofa, pulling out a small velvet box. You gasp once you catch sight of the small box.
“Johnny?” you whisper, eyes once again filling with tears.
“I love you, Y/N. These last two months made me realize I never want to spend another day without you.” He opens the box to reveal the gorgeous diamond ring. One you obviously knew Letty had a hand at helping pick out.
Taking your shaky hand, “Will you marry me, baby?” he asks, a proud smile on his face.
“Of course. YES!” you practically screamed in-between your sobs.
Taking the ring out of the box and sliding the ring onto your finger, “Happy Anniversary, my love.” He says before claiming your lips once again.
 -xx
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electrictoes · 3 years
Text
People Like Sunlight
For @dailysvu’s Sonny Carisi Appreciation Week
Day 7: Secrets (AKA another excuse for a “how the squad find out” fic)
Read on AO3
The Saturday morning trip to the zoo is long belated - Noah and Jesse have been asking to go for months but with one thing and another - Elliot Stabler crashing back into Liv’s life, Amanda’s father stumbling back into hers - they’re only now finding a day when they are both free from both professional and social obligations.
They meet at the entrance to the zoo, Noah calling out when he sees them approaching. Amanda’s got Jesse’s hand held tight in hers to keep her close by; Sonny has Billie on his shoulders already, and Amanda’s sure he’s going to regret telling Amanda not to bother with the stroller, that he’d carry Billie when she got tired, but Billie’s having the time of her life, shouting Noah’s name when she spots him from her vantage point above the heads of the crowd.
Liv greets Amanda first; a hug for Jesse and a wave to Billie, “I didn’t know you were joining us, Carisi.”
“Is that okay?” Sonny asks.
Liv smiles at him, “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t mean to crash your day, I’ve just been spendin’ a lot of time with Jesse an’ those animal books Noah gave her. I just wanted to-”
“I thought it’d be nice for the girls to have both their godparents here,” Amanda cut in when she spotted a question in Liv’s expression - most likely focusing on a lot of time. “And he’s carrying Billie, so I don’t have to.”
Liv nods, “It’s fine, Noah was already feeling a bit outnumbered.”
“I wasn’t,” Noah protests, but he’s grinning, “Hi Uncle Sonny!”
Sonny lets go of Billie’s right leg to give Noah a high five, then ducks his knees so that Billie can do the same - it’s endearing; Amanda loves the way Sonny is with the girls, but he’s been this way with Noah for just as long, and it’s always brought a warm feeling to her stomach, one she didn’t have a name for until recently.
By early afternoon Noah and Jesse are grumbling about their legs hurting - Billie is yet to walk anywhere so she’s doing just fine, although Sonny definitely looks like he could do with a break even if he won’t admit it - so they stop for a picnic. Jesse and Noah chase each other around the grass once they’d finished eating, Billie has dozed off with her head on Amanda’s leg and Amanda strokes a hand gently through her hair as she sleeps.
They chat quietly about their plans for the rest of the weekend, about their day so far, about the weather; it’s nice, spending time just relaxing together, the sounds of the children’s laughter making its way back to them.
After about fifteen minutes of chasing each other, Noah and Jesse return to their picnic blanket, Jesse crashing into Sonny and reaching for her water bottle while Noah sits next to Liv. Once they’ve caught their breath Noah looks over at Sonny, “Hey Uncle Sonny?”
Sonny turns to Noah, his hand on Jesse’s back, steading her as she takes a huge gulp of water, “Yeah?”
“Can you come to our house and make pancakes for my breakfast tomorrow?”
Sonny’s eyebrows knit together in confusion as Liv shakes her head at her son, “Noah, that’s not really something you can expect Uncle Sonny to do.”
“But he went over and made pancakes for Jesse this morning,” Noah protests.
Sonny resists the urge to look at Amanda as he stumbles out an excuse, “Well, only because we were-”
“He didn’t come over for pancakes, Noah,” Jesse says, turning onto her back and leaning against Sonny, feet digging into the picnic blanket.
“You said he made real pancakes not from a box.”
“He did!” Jesse yells, sitting upright and ignoring Amanda’s reminder that Billie is sleeping, “But Mommy and Uncle Sonny had a sleepover first,” she adds.
Noah’s eyes go wide and he turns to look at his mother, but Liv isn’t giving anything away.
“Hey,” Amanda says, “Why don’t you guys go over and see the sea lions again - let Billie finish up her nap.”
Jesse, who has no idea what she’s just revealed, jumps happily to her feet, but Noah - who at nine years old realises that this is kind of a big deal without understanding why - is reluctant. He wants to watch how this unfolds.
“Go on, Noah,” Liv says, “Jesse’s too little to go by herself.”
The three of them sit in silence as Jesse tugs Noah down the bank towards the sea lions - three pairs of eyes on the children and none of them on each other.
“I think spending time with Jesse and Billie is good for him,” Liv says, and then she turns to look at them both, “So, a sleepover?”
“Well, it got late an’-” Sonny starts, but Liv fixes him with a look.
“Don’t lie to me, Carisi,” she says, taking a sip from her bottle of water, her eyes drifting between the two of them.
“It’s still new,” Amanda admits, reaching over to place a hand on Sonny’s knee. “It’s not a secret, we’re just-”
“Not advertising it?” Liv nods, “Well, whatever the two of you do in private is your own business,” she says, “But if it gets serious, then-”
“It is,” Sonny interjects, resting his hand on top of Amanda’s, “It’s serious. And we will do whatever we need to, work-wise.”
“I’m really happy for you both,” Liv tells them.
Sunday morning is more chaotic than usual this week. They’re going out to Staten Island for their first official Carisi family gathering and Amanda is nervous enough without her children running rings around them both. The girls had chosen this morning to sleep until a reasonable hour for the first time in their lives - meaning that Amanda’s assertion they didn’t need to set an alarm was proved wrong - and she already feels like she’s two steps behind. Jesse has changed her outfit twice, and Amanda has given up trying to brush her hair; she leaves her in the girls’ bedroom choosing which jacket she’d like to take and seeks out her youngest who had slipped out of sight while Amanda was persuading Jesse not to select a third t-shirt - Sonny’s escaped the chaos by taking Frannie for her morning walk; no little shadows accompanying him today because no one is ready to leave the house.
She finds Billie in the living room, crouched down behind the couch and looking very suspicious.
“Billie? What are you- is that Uncle Sonny’s phone?” Billie has Sonny’s phone gripped in her sticky hands, she’s grinning down at and doesn’t look away until Amanda tries to take it from her.
“Billie’s,” she says, gripping the phone tighter.
“Give it to Momma, please,” Amanda tells her, a firm look on her face which actually works for once; Billie releases her hold on the phone just as Amanda sees the video filling the screen, “Oh- Chief, I-”
“Good morning Detective Rollins,” Garland says, smiling at her, seemingly unconcerned by having a conversation with her two-year-old at 10am on a Sunday.
“I’m so sorry,” Amanda said, “Did Billie call you? I don’t know where she-”
Before Amanda can finish her sentence, she hears a key in the lock, the sound of Frannie’s paws on the wooden floor, and Sonny’s voice sailing down the hallway towards her, “Hey, Rollins - do you remember me puttin’ my phone down last night?”
“It’s here,” she says, but before she can warn him that she’s got Garland on a video call right in front of them he’s pressing a kiss to her cheek as he reaches for the phone, his eyes going wide when he realises.
“Chief - I didn’t- everythin’ okay?” Amanda ducks away, leaving him with the phone in his hands; she picks up Billie before she can cause anymore chaos and carries her towards the bathroom to try and rid her of the sticky residue on her hands and face.
Sonny joins her in the girls’ bedroom a few minutes later; she’s brushing Jesse’s hair back while Billie runs in a circle around them. He gives her a reassuring smile, “He just wanted to check on somethin’ for the Dyer case, Billie must’ve answered it, probably didn’t even mean to,” he tells her. “And he, uh- he said not to worry about Billie, Abby used to be grabbin’ at phones and stuff all the time. He gets it.”
Amanda finishes tying Jesse’s hair back and turns to look at him, “And?”
“He didn’t say anything outright about, uh, us. He didn’t ask and I-” Sonny stops, looking down at the phone still in his hand, “Oh.”
“What?” Amanda asks, standing up and walking towards him, avoiding Billie’s invisible running track.
“Email from Garland,” he says, turning his phone towards her once he’s opened the email - the subject line is Disclosure Paperwork and there’s one file attached.
It has been the worst Friday night Amanda has worked in a long time - she had been ready to clock off at midnight; head home and slip into bed next to Sonny; he’d let her lie in a little in the morning, tell her to get some more sleep while he got up with the girls. But a call came it at 11:25 about a missing foster kid, and now it was nearing 3am, she was exhausted down to the bone and emotionally drained - and that was pretty good shape compared to Kat; equally worn down, but with a split lip, a black eye and shaking hands to go with it. Amanda had been two steps behind her walking into that room, and she’d been quick to take down the perp, but the shock of the violence combined with the sight that greeted them when they looked up - it was enough to bring the most seasoned detective to their knees.
As they grabbed their things at the precinct, Amanda found herself watching Kat, her stiff movements, her quiet, lost gaze. She knew that look, and she knew what came with it, “Where are you going now?” she asked.
“Home.”
Amanda frowned, “Is Celine still out of town?”
“Yeah,” Kat nodded as they walked towards the elevator together, “She’ll be back on Sunday night.”
“I don’t think you should be alone,” Amanda said, protectiveness coming over her.
“It’s fine,” Kat shrugged, “I’m not going to show up at my parents’ house in the middle of the night.”
“Come back to mine,” Amanda said - it wasn’t an offer. She’d worry about letting Kat into the spaces of her life, her relationship, that she’d been keeping quiet another time; her priority right now was keeping her partner, her friend safe - she hadn’t been quick enough to prevent the physical injuries, but she’d definitely sleep a little better knowing that Kat wasn’t at home on her own.
“You’ve got kids to worry about, I’m fine.”
“You’re not,” Amanda said firmly, her hand gently on Kat’s arm stopping her from walking away, “Look, we’ve got to look out for each other. You know how many times I made Carisi sleep on my couch when we were partners?”
Kat smiles at that; probably picturing Amanda forcing Carisi into her apartment after a tough shift. It was never that difficult with Carisi though - suggest dinner, time with the girls, and he’d always say yes.
“Alright, okay,” Kat gives in as the elevator arrives.
“It’ll be loud in the morning,” Amanda warns her, “But it’s better than being alone with your thoughts.”
She slips into bed later than planned; she’s set Kat up on the couch, told her to knock if she needs anything during the night. Sonny rolls over almost immediately when she touches a hand to his bare arm, and he gives her a sleepily smile, “You’re back.”
“Hey,” she whispers, “Keep you voice down; Kat’s here.”
He frowns in confusion, “Everythin’ okay?”
“Tough day - night,” Amanda tells him, and his arm comes around her in comfort, “Better she’s not alone.”
“Course,” Sonny says, pulling her little closer; he knows what that’s like. He glances up towards the door, “Do you want me to-”
“What? Sneak out the fire escape?” she shakes her head, smiling at his ridiculousness, “No, we’ve got a few hours before the girls are up, we can figure it out then.”
Amanda has slept maybe three hours when Jesse comes hurtling into the bedroom without knocking - they’re working on that - and rushes over to the bed, speaking at a volume far higher than necessary, “Mommy, Kat’s on our couch!”
“I know, baby,” Amanda says, reluctantly opening her eyes to see her five-year-old leaning in inches from her face, “She slept over. Don’t wake her up.”
“I wanna watch cartoons,” she protests. Sonny reaches for his phone on the nightstand and leans over Amanda, waving it sleepily at Jesse.
“You can watch on here,” he offers.
Jesse grins, “Can I get in bed with you?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, clambering over Amanda’s body to wiggle into the small space between her and Sonny.
“Just don’t call anyone,” Amanda says as Jesse takes Sonny’s phone.
Amanda doesn’t go back to sleep - the cheery cartoon sounds coming through the phone speaker keep her on the edge of wakefulness, but some time passes before she hears Sonny and Jesse whispering to each other.
“But the sun has been up for forever,” Jesse is saying, her negotiation head on. Too bad she’s trying to out manoeuvre a prosecutor.
“That’s because it’s summer,” Sonny tells her, “Mommy and Kat got back very late last night so we’ll let them sleep a little more first.”
“But I don’t wanna stay in bed.”
“Okay,” he says, and Amanda smiles to herself, knowing Jesse definitely thinks she’s winning this argument. “You can stay here and watch cartoons on my phone, or you can come with me to walk Frannie.”
The bed shifts beside her and Amanda opens one eye to see Jesse wrapping her arms around Sonny’s neck pleadingly, “But I want to watch TV in the-”
“Nice try,” Sonny says, tickling her sides until she lets go. “That wasn’t one of the choices.”
“Fine,” Jesse says, with no small amount of drama, “Let’s go for a stupid walk.”
“Jesse-”
“We don’t say stupid,” Jesse sighs, “Sorry Uncle Sonny.” She climbs over Amanda to get out of the bed, creeping out of the door in a way she probably thinks is quiet.
Sonny presses his lips to Amanda’s shoulder as he climbs out of bed, “I’ll make it a long walk. Want me to take Billie too?”
“If she’s awake,” Amanda says gratefully, leaning up for a proper kiss before he gets dressed.
The apartment is quiet, but Amanda still can’t get back to sleep - she heard the door go, Sonny and the girls leaving as quietly as he could get them to, but sunlight is streaming in through the curtains and she’s too awake now to drift off. She gives up after ten minutes and goes to take a shower. On her way back down the hall she hears the sound of her old coffeemaker coming to life, and walks into the kitchen to see that Kat’s awake; the bruise on her eye is purpling but her lip looks less swollen than the night before, “Good morning.”
“Hi I was just making a coffee-” Kat gestures to the machine, she looks a little uncertain, or maybe that’s just the tiredness seeping in.
“It’s fine, make yourself at home.”
“Thanks for letting me stay, it was good not to wake up in an empty apartment,” Kat says, taking a second coffee mug and holding it up to Amanda who nods.
“Any time,” Amanda assures her.
Once they’re both sat in the living room with their coffee mugs in their hands, Kat looks over at Amanda, a smile on her face, “So, I saw something interesting this morning.”
Amanda bites her lip, preparing for what comes next, “What was that?”
“Counsellor Carisi… creeping out of your bedroom,” Kat looks very pleased with herself as she takes a long sip of her coffee, waiting for Amanda’s response.
Amanda doesn’t see any sense in denying it, “Yeah, you probably did.”
“Don’t worry,” Kat says reassuringly, “I’m not going to say anything to the captain.”
“It’s fine,” Amanda waves Kat off, “She already knows - we disclosed two weeks ago, we’re just not advertising it.”
Kat’s eyes go wide at that, “Wait, what? I never- well, you two have always been kind of,” she shrugs, “At least since I’ve known you.”
“Yeah,” Amanda smiles, “We kind of have.”
Amanda knocks once on Sonny’s office door before pushing it open, “Hey Counsellor,” she says, a smile just for him as she slips into the office.
“Hey Detective Rollins,” Sonny says, a smirk on his own lips.
She crosses the room and perches on the end of his desk, “Work call,” she tells him, but she isn’t in any hurry to rush him along.
He leans back in his chair, closing the case file he has open and looking up at her, “What do you need?”
“A warrant for Delugo’s phone records,” Amanda tells him - it is the primary reason for her visit, although she probably could have asked him over the phone, waited until he dropped the warrant off to see him. She likes finding excuses to come over here though, to see him in Counsellor Carisi mode in his own office, even with the mismatched paint and dented filing cabinets. That isn’t new with the change of their relationship - she’s been looking for reasons to swing by the DA’s office ever since he left SVU.
Sonny knows that, knows full well that if it were any other ADA she’d have just phoned, “Alright,” he nods, leaning forward, his face much closer to hers, “but it’ll cost you.”
“Oh, is that so?” Amanda asks, fingers tracing up the tie she’d watched him put on earlier that day, “What’s the fee?”
“Hmm, I think we can negotiate something-” he says, leaning in until his lips are hair’s breadth from her own. She closes the gap without hesitating, taking his bottom lip between hers as she draws him close.
They’re interrupted by the door opening, and a familiar voice groaning at them, “Oh no. Not today.”
Amanda pulls back from the kiss, turning to look at her sergeant over her shoulder. “Fin,” she grumbles, “Don’t you knock?”
“Door’s open,” Fin says, “Didn’t realise it was getting all R-rated in here.”
Sonny rolls his eyes, leaning back into his chair, “It was just a kiss, Fin.”
“I didn’t see anything,” Fin says, hands up, “I don’t know anything.”
“Everyone else already knows,” Amanda says, enjoying the way his expression changes. She is kind of touched that he would have been willing to deny all knowledge if she and Sonny were carrying on a secret relationship though.
Fin frowns at being the last to know. “Since when?”
“Your wedding,” Amanda smiles, “Not wedding.”
“Damn,” Fin shakes his head, “You’re welcome.” He steps fully into the room, holding out a manila folder for Sonny to take. “Liv asked me to drop that off on my way to the courthouse.”
“Thanks Fin,” Sonny says with a nod.
As Fin backs out of the office Amanda stands up, moving around Sonny’s desk, “I better get back. I forgot Fin was in court today.”
“I’ll let you know once I’ve got that warrant,” Sonny says; he’s not keen to see her go but they’re balancing this personal/professional life thing pretty well on the whole - and it’s easier saying goodbye when you know you’re going to be going home together.
“I’ll owe you that fee,” Amanda says, enjoying the way his expression changes as she glances back at him over her shoulder. She knows he’s watching her go; he’ll keep his eyes on her until she’s out of sight and then he’ll pick up his pen and get back to work - a smile still lingering on his face.
Summer’s drawing to a close - afternoons like this one will fade away, replaced with the dim light and cool breeze of the Fall. It’s been the best summer Amanda has had in a long time - for a lot of reasons, but chief amongst them has been letting herself have something she’s longed for since she was a child - the genuine love of a man who she loves right back, her children’s laughter filling their daily lives, friends who have become family around them and there for them.
Before summer ends and Jesse, Noah and Abby go back to school, Garland and his wife have invited them all over for a backyard barbecue, and it’s the first time they’ve all been together outside of work since the not-wedding - the first time she gets to walk into a space filled with their friends, her fingers slotted neatly between Sonny’s.
Jesse and Billie raced ahead of them through the house and into the backyard, chasing the sound of Noah’s excited yells; Amanda and Sonny follow Lamai out to join them; the sun is warm, the scent of good food wafts across the yard, music’s playing softly in the background. The children are huddled together at the bottom of the yard, and from the looks of Billie’s face they’ve already managed to sneak some cake from somewhere.
Sonny releases her hand, a kiss to her cheek before moving to where Fin and Stabler are standing near the grill. Amanda takes an empty seat next to Liv, turning to greet her friends - they’ve all got stupid smiles on their faces and she laughs, shaking her head, “What?”
“Nothing,” Liv says, “It’s nice. Seeing you two like this.”
Amanda bites back a comment about Stabler’s presence - she knows Liv is genuine and she wants to embrace it - so she just nods, leaning back in her chair as the conversation returns to its earlier topics, her gaze moving between Sonny and the children - and then to Sonny and the children when he abandons his spot by the grill to check up on them; within seconds he’s on the floor, a pile of kids on top of him as he dramatically begs for mercy and Amanda has never been more in love with this ridiculous, wonderful man.
He catches her eye across the yard and gives her a wink; yeah, she’s definitely in love.
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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years
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A story by heroes and villains
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Roman Castile: Passion and duty
Roman finds that his different passions seem to get in each other's way for now. But one day, he will find a balance.
“Ugh! I am done!” Roman exclaimed relieved, barely hearing the hissed warning from the librarian. Homework had been draining. Sure they’d had fun. Especially when it came to teasing Virgil about his pronunciation when they worked on Spanish.
Still Roman was ready to do literally anything else.
“Give me a sec, I have to finish this thing for English,” Virgil muttered absentmindedly. Roman knew that Virgil had rewritten that particular assignment two times already.
“Want me to read it trough for you?” Roman offered. Maybe hearing someone say that it was good would be enough to stop him from second guessing himself again.
“You don’t…”  Virgil started, somehow looking guilty.
“We’re here to help each other Virgil. If I didn’t want to help you I wouldn’t offer. I thrive on being of help to my friends. It’s no trouble,” he assured him. Virgil offered him a small smile and a nod in response. “Alright. You can read it when I’m done,” he allowed.
Roman took peace with that and opened his notebook to start doodling.
He had a few ideas for some more shirt designs. He’d enjoyed making his ‘coming out’ shirt. Then there was the Halloween party and every other social event this year has to offer where he had to slay. Junior year was a year to be noticed. Nothing wrong with putting down some ideas in advance. He just might come across the perfect outfit.
“Seems I’m not the only one who can draw up some clothes,” Virgil noted and Roman nearly fell of his chair when he jumped at his sudden proximity.
“Will you stop that!?” A thing about Virgil Roman had learned over the last week. He always seemed to pop up out of nowhere. One minute he’s gushing over the latest Disney trailer with André and suddenly Virgil stands next to him giving his two cents. It was terrifying.
“Not a chance,” Virgil chuckled as he picked up Roman’s sketches.
“This looks good though… You ever thought of becoming a fashion designer?”
Roman’s eyes widened. Making amazing outfits for a living? He could make a whole ‘wear your pride’ line and… Oh… Oh…!
“You are a genius!” Roman exclaimed. He’d had no idea what he wanted to do with his future, aside from hero work, but now the idea was brought up he wanted nothing else. Fashion designer, superhero, actor, maybe also Mr. Castile-Anker. That was a future he could look forward to!
Virgil chuckled. “It’s the least I can do. I sent in the designs like you said… I’m kind of excited.”
Roman beamed at him. “I’m sure next time you see DreamPrince on the news he’ll be wearing your design.” He was. He’d been shown some alternative designs by Manifestor and found Virgil’s drawing among them and immediately declared that that was the one.
As he’d told Roman, he’d changed a few things. He’d shown him on Wednesday to get his stamp of approval. Roman had gushed unapologetically, because he knew he’d have to tone it back a bit in front of the team.
Which had been hard.
Tonight he’d be taking it for a test run and he’d make sure to be seen by people and cameras.
“We’ll see,” Virgil smiled as he pushed his laptop with his assignment towards Roman.
Roman read it, dropping the subject without problem.
Virgil was easy to be friends with and he’d quickly learned to read his moods.
During lunch Virgil usually sat himself a little bit away from the group when he felt the need to just focus on his music and sketch a little before heading back to class. He was sarcastic, witty and could dish it out about as well as he could take it.
He was also very guarded emotionally, which Roman could understand, but whenever they were just the two  of them, Virgil opened up some more. He’d learned about Virgil’s soon to be stepdad and the admittedly adorable meet cute he’d been a part of.
He knew that Virgil’s dad had found them a new home and they’d moved in just that week.
He learned that Virgil was mature and his dad’s only wingman which they both agreed was super awkward but also hilarious.
Roman had joked that Virgil might end up being his father’s best man. But apparently there was a family friend ‘uncle Thomas’ who might get that position.
Virgil had gone out with another girl that week. Anna, who’d had English with him last year or something. Virgil had listened patiently, but relatively unaffected to her asking him out and arranged another semi-date at the music store for the next evening. Luckily nothing came from it again. Roman asked him why he kept saying yes to people he barely knew. Virgil explained that he had missed out on enough chances to befriend others. So the way he saw it he’d at the very least get a friend out of it. Roman kind of took comfort in that. It didn’t sound like Virgil was trying to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend right now. Just trying to socialize. Roman had reminded Virgil to watch his boundaries though. He wouldn’t want him to push himself out of fear he’d be missing out.
One more thing he learned about Virgil: he was overly critical of himself.
“Well, I think you can hand this in with confidence Virge,” Roman concluded as he returned Virgil’s laptop to him.
“So… I recall something about pizza? I’m starving!” he grinned.
Virgil chuckled and lead the way. Soon they were sat at a table with their orders and they were talking about everything and nothing. It was great. And Roman was so close to asking Virgil out but…
“So… Um… There’s this… Shoot wait a minute,” Roman got up and picked up his phone.
“Si mama…?” he asked curiously after seeing the caller ID.
“Darling. I know you are out with your friend. But I wanted you to know we’re headed to the university now,” his mother informed him. The university… Wait. “Que?” Roman looked at his watch incredulously. He was going to be late. Unless he left right now that is.
“Perdona! I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and dug through his wallet for some money.
“So sorry Virge! Time got away from us I’m afraid. I swear I intended to give you that ride… Can you call your dad… You know what? Just use the change to take the bus or something alright? My treat! I’ll call you later!” he promised as he tossed down a few bills that should more than cover the tab and the tip before rushing away.
How was it so late already?
He sprinted around a few corners and found a spot to get changed. BS had explained about the sciency stuff behind his costume change, but all Roman really cared about was that he basically had a magical boy transformation. Sure he could sit there and let the tech do its thing, but it was much more fun to make up a cool transformation sequence.
First, hair. He retrieved a lip balm like object and applied the substance to his hairline. He tucked the balm away and with one smooth movement of his hand he styled and recolored his hair. Instead of parted in the middle with regal waves it was flicked to the back, save for a single rebellious strand dangling down his forehead. Instead of a deep ash brown it was warm chestnut in color.
Then he took a tini metallic bead from a ring on his finger and tapped it against his temple, before he swiped his hand in front of his eyes as his mask placed itself securely on his face, changing his eye color in the process. He tapped his wrists together in front of his chest and brought them down with force, feeling his blazer and shirt get replaced by the skintight suit. He tapped his right heal against his left before taking another power position and finishing his costume change.
How cool was his life?!
He created a platform to lift himself to the roof and sprinted towards the university. The GTH was in it’s basement. As he made his way there he started to think over asking Virgil out again.
Maybe, now wasn’t the time. Virgil was clearly still upset about the whole Janus thing. He didn’t say it but Roman could tell. And he didn’t want Virgil to think for even a second that Roman’s crush was anything less than genuine, he had noticed that Virgil still had trouble believing their friendship was real at times. Not to mention that starting a relationship with someone while he was still figuring out how to balance out superhero and civilian life was clearly a bad idea. He couldn’t even ask him out without being interrupted by his other life.
So, he'd wait until he had his life in order and he was sure Virgil was ready. There was definitely some kind of connection between them. And Roman was willing to wait until the time was right…
He knew he was being a coward, but his friendship with Virgil was so fragile.
He entered the basement campus with little hassle and dropped of his bag in his personal locker, making sure to lock it. If anyone with ill intent got in here they could easily find out his identity with it's contents and Roman didn’t want his name out like that. Not yet at least.
He hurried to the training hall, threw open the doors and slid inside.
“Your prince has returned!” he exclaimed, doing a pretty good job at pretending he hadn't just sprinted the whole way there.
“Has he now?” BS asked, apparently in a bad mood today.
“Oh come now big S, the boy is just excited for his present! I would be too if I got a new costume made for me by a secret admirer,” Sweets offered with a calming hand on BS' shoulder. Sweets was an empath. He could share his emotions and those of others, perfect match for someone who wants or needs to keep his calm.
But what sweets said made Roman rather flustered. “I don't think DreamPrince has had enough appearances to already gain such attentions. Whoever did this just couldn't stand to look at this any longer.” Roman gestured to his current costume.
“Speaking of which…” he held out his hand bouncing on his feet in excitement. He was supposed to meet the chief of police today and he wanted to look presentable.
Manifestor chuckled from his spot on the desk. “Give the boy his stuff. He's been looking forward to this day for the past four years.”
BS sighed and handed Roman a small box, which the young hero snatched up before rushing to the dressing room.
He turned his suit off and took off the containment units. He opened the box and switched the old units for the new ones. The bracelets were more comfortable and adjusted to his skin tone, the metal bead was replaced with two skin colored stickers he applied to his temples.
“Let’s do this,” Roman smirked excitedly.
“To adventure!” he called out as he crossed his arms and tapped at his temples while simultaneously clicking his wrists together. At the same time he tapped his right toe behind his left heel and brought his ankles together. He struck a power pose, facing the full length mirror and grinned excitedly. Virgil had added an insignia on his cape and golden trimming in the final design. There'd been a few options for his emblem and Roman had chosen the shield with a castle by the sea with the sun shining down on him. He looked quite dashing.
He left the dressing room and handed the box back to BS with an elegant gesture.
BS wasn't amused. Sweets and Manifestor on the other found it hilarious.
“So? What do you think?” Roman asked as he turned around to show off the end result.
A loud ‘bing' announced a message from his family watching from the observation room.
“Gaaaaaaay!” Roman rolled his eyes good naturedly. Remus was a fan.
“Stay away from Planes!” the next one read. Roman chuckled. He had asked Virgil about the cape, considering he’d expected someone as cautious as him to heed Edna Mode's advice.
Apparently Virgil had intended the Cape to be an addition for official events. So ‘Prince’ would look good on camera. He'd also pointed out that it would look badass for the prince to un-claps his Cape before a fight. He'd had a point and Roman actually loved it.
“You look very handsome darling.”
“Thanks mom!” Roman called out.
Then two beeps came from a device on BS wrist. He looked down and relaxed, tapping away at a holographic screen, turning up the intensity of his shadow. “The chief is here,” he announced.
Roman raised an eyebrow, that was not what BS had been so tense about. Something in his private life maybe? If that was the case he'd never find out.
Roman had no time to worry about that though. The door opened and in walked the police chief. A small but commanding African American woman. It was something in the way she walked that made Roman want to stand at attention. And so he did. He wasn't the only one.
“DreamPrince, at your service ma’am,” Roman introduced himself respectfully.
“So you are what all the fuss is about?” she asked as she looked Roman up and down.
Chief Davies pursed her lips before nodding to herself. “I’ve read your file, you’re quite the prodigy aren’t you?” she asked.
Roman chuckled a little awkwardly. “I’ve just been training from a young age, that’s all.” Most gifted didn’t realize their talent until they were well in their teens.
“Good answer. I have no time to stroke an adolescent ego. We’ve got work to do.”
Chief Davies turned to Manifestor. “You got the files I sent?”
Manifestor nodded hurriedly. “Yes. I had no time to review them though.”
“I’ll walk you through it,” she announced dismissively. The leader of Roman’s training team nodded and tapped at something on his wrist. The screen that had shown the messages from Roman’s family earlier was now filled with mugshots.
The men looked dangerous. Roman shifted nervously. “You… you want my help apprehending these men?” he asked, trying not to show how frightening it seemed.
“God No!” Roman hid his relieve. “These men are all in jail already, with iron clad cases keeping them there for a long time. You think I’m going to send some rookie after hardcore criminals? No offense, but you are still a baby,” Roman blushed at that and focused back on the pictures.
Wait a minute. “I know that guy! Remember at the end of my first week? I spotted some tugs bothering that kid and tossed a rock at them?”
“And by some miracle you weren’t found when said tugs came looking for you,” BS added through gritted teeth. Still upset at Roman's initial recklessness.
“I wasn’t the only one they were looking for,” Roman insisted. He’d been so sure he hadn’t been alone that night. But BS claimed the would have known if anyone else had been there.
He never went after the tugs after they left the alley. BS insisting he was done with back alleys for the night.
And now those guys were apparently behind bars?
“Next slide please!” Davies called out.
A picture of a ziplock bag with pictures, a USB stick and a note of cut out letters that said ‘your turn’.
“For almost a year now we’ve been getting mysterious packages like this. Pictures, audio and video recordings. Every last one had one of these men incriminating themselves. It’s like whoever delivers these stands right next to them, but never gets caught taking pictures or carrying a wire. I have a small task force on the case who have dubbed them ‘The Phantom’. We are keeping this as in house as we can. Once the public hears about the Phantom, we’ll lose the most valuable asset we’ve ever had. Plus until now we weren’t sure if they were a sensible vigilante or a mobster who was taking out competition in a very clever way. Given what you just said I’d be inclined towards the former. They might have some sort of gift that hides them well enough to get away with spying. But right now, they are putting themselves in danger.” Davies turned towards Roman.
“Keep an eye out, see if you can spot him during your patrol this evening. And if you do, get him on board with the program.”
“Prince did not go through all that training to be your recruitment poster boy!” BS snapped to Roman's surprise. That was the most emotional response he's seen from BS ever. Aside from when he scolded Roman on his reckless behavior.
Davies glared at BS, looking quite intimidating, despite barely reaching to his chest.
“Now don't go all noble on me BrainStorm. What? Did your heart grow three sizes while I wasn't looking? Is there suddenly room for more than one other person there?”
Roman knew that this was a threat. Davies knew BS’ true identity, where he worked, who he cared for. She could ruin whatever he had built in an instant.
Roman often wondered what kind of life BS had outside the facility. Did he have a partner? A family? Did they know about his past at all.
A few seconds ticked by with no one daring to do so much as breathe.
Then Davies relaxed and stepped back. “I'm no monster BrainStorm. I wouldn't ask some rookie to deal with this if I hadn’t tried everything else already. I send in my agents and even called in other gifted. All we got out of that was this,” she gestured and Manifestor showed the next image. A note in the same style as the previous one that said ‘no babysit!’
“Our profiler thinks they are young. So maybe your prince won't seem as threatening. They might've had his back once before already. If this Phantom were someone you cared for, would you rather we left them be, or would you drag their noble behind here yourself to give them proper gear and back up?”
The question hung in the air for a moment, BS had nothing to counter with. Roman imagined Phantom being one of his friends, or even Janus and the answer remained the same.
“I will do what I can,” he vowed before lifting his chin and facing the fierce chief head on. “But ma'am, I don't appreciate you threatening my mentor like that.”
BS had stood up for him, it was only right for him to return the favor.
Davies chuckled. “Just when I started to worry you were only brawn and a pretty face. You can be smart too huh? And you’ve got guts. You just might have what it takes kid. Now. I have places to be. Keep me updated, and don't lose this.” Roman accepted the watch he was handed with a confused frown.
“My people will call if we need you. Please use that brain and return the favor?”
With that she left. Well… that was intense.
Roman put on the watch and saw that it had a frequency displayed on it instead of time. He also spotted two buttons. One blue and one red. It didn't take much to realize that one was a panic button and the other was to make it so the cops could hear him. He wondered if it would connect to the nearest patrol car or to Davies directly.
He hoped he’d never have to find out.
“Well… time to show the city their hero is ready for action.”
 It had been a pleasant evening so far. He'd stopped a few shoplifters, broke up a fight or two and dodged a few reporters, though he let them snap a good picture of his new outfit.
Now the sun was down however and he was making his way to the back alleys.
“Looking for a fight is foolish Prince!” BS growled through his earpiece.
But Roman wasn't looking for a fight. He was looking for someone who'd gotten him out of at least one pickle.
He ignored BS as he landed on a roof, overlooking the city using his sight. He didn’t know what he was looking for exactly, but it was his only plan.
Suddenly he spotted something strange and unusual. There was an energy, a few blocks ahead. But it was impossible for him to really see it. Like he was looking at it trough glasses with strong prescriptions.
He rushed towards it and found a gang of criminals with violently swirling auras. He knew what this meant. They were going to hurt someone.
“Send back up to my location,” he instructed before turning the receiver off. He needed to focus.
“I say we attack now! They are week! We can take them down easily.” A shorter guy with energy like glass shards insisted.
“Boss says we have a truce until the rat is found,” a giant of a man stated calmly, though his energy betrayed how much he wanted to go with the first guy's plan.
Were they talking about Phantom?
“What rat!? Those idiots just bragged to the wrong crowd.” The first voice shot back. Phantom was becoming a bit of a ghost story it seemed. Some who believed, judging by the shudder that went through the other men's auras at the mere mention of them. But clearly not everyone was convinced.
“Oh and they gave out pictures as well? Did a little livestream? We're not safe until this rat is lynched,” the tall man pointed out tensely. He was a believer. And he wanted Phantom dead. Not good.
Roman studied the tugs and to his relief he spotted they were all armed. Weird thing to be happy about. But it meant he had probable cause to interfere.
He jumped down, slowing his descent just so that he didn't hurt himself on the landing without sacrificing the cool factor.
“Do you gentlemen have permits for those weapons?” he asked as he rose up to his full length facing them fearlessly.
“what the…?”
“It's that Prince clown!” Rude.
The tall guy, the leader probably, silenced the group with a gesture and smiled, his anxious energy almost completely disappearing. He'd found something to vent on. “Sure kid. Got mine right here.”
Roman flung his cape in front of him and manifested a gelatinous shield around himself as the leader pulled out his gun and fired several rounds at him. The tugs wouldn't see it. But it was there, and it caught the bullets slowing them down until they were harmless, making them fall to the ground when they met with the fabric.
“Well now you just pissed me off. This is brand new!” he complained as he dropped both cape and shield.
“I suppose you won't surrender peacefully?” he deduced. The criminals all readied their weapons. Seriously? Did they not get that he was essentially bulletproof?
He sighed as he took off his cape and hung it on a water pipe that ran down the side of the building.
“Fine,” he sighed and then he amped up his speed a bit while shielding himself from the rain of bullets heading his way. He used the gelatin shield because he didn't want to risk the bullets ricocheting and injuring someone. Especially the gifted he was sure was still watching the whole thing.
It wasn't hard to disarm the criminals. He even managed to knock a few to the ground. But there were at least two who'd gone down without him even touching them. And he would’ve sworn he saw a figure move between him and a tug once or twice to block a blow. He couldn't really see the other hero. It was an odd sensation. But he could feel his presence better and better and soon he was adapting his moves to those of the Phantom. Together they took out the whole group. Though to the villains it would seem like he'd done it by himself. He stood victorious over the leader, a pile of disassembled guns behind him and sirens lighting up the alley.
He twisted his foot to show off his white boot with gold accents. “So… how does it feel to get your butt kicked by a guy in heels?” he wondered playfully before looking up towards the presence and winking in acknowledgment.
“Good job Dream Prince. We've got it from here.” Roman turned to the cops and bowed to them
“It's my pleasure to be of assistance to the police of this fine city.” Then, while turning around, he made a gesture that could be taken as a ‘goodbye’, or as a ‘follow me’.
He was glad to notice that the presence seemed to follow him. He found a fire escape and floated himself to the roof it led to.
He turned to face his hopefully soon to be partner in crime fighting.
He could hear the clanging of someone climbing the metal fire escape. And while he still couldn't quite make out the figure that reached the roof he saw his reflection in a pool of water left behind by the rain earlier that day.
An unfortunate weakness, but so long as no one knew, no one would be looking for it. In order to be a hero, no one could know Phantom really existed. Was that why the authorities were kept at a distance? Why Phantom never made introductions despite having crossed paths at least once before?
He stepped forward with a bow. “Greetings Phantom. I must thank you for the assistance. Both just now and three months ago. I am Dream Prince, he/him if you please. A pleasure to officially meet you.”
A distorted chuckle made him look up. He could see Phantom much better now. He was dressed in Male coded clothes, though that was no guarantee. The hero outfit was simple. A black t-shirt, boots and denims, paired with a black coat that reached down to his calves and had the collar popped up. He looked really cool… but Roman couldn't make sense of his head. He was looking right at him he could see it, but his brain couldn't identify a thing.
It was so weird.
“Phantom huh?” His voice was a strange deep echoing sound. The distortion was pretty spooky if he was honest, but he wasn't afraid. Phantom was on his side.
“Sure you can call me that. He/him… mind telling me what that was about? I thought you officials weren't let of your leash unless you could be responsible enough to not get yourself killed?”
Roman cocked his brow. “Says the guy who has half the criminal underworld out for his blood,” he reminded him. Phantom looked away. Clearly he knew Roman had a point.
“Do you have something against the program?” His tone had been oddly bitter.
“No I…”  Phantom took in a deep breath. “Sorry, I’m just pissed at the cops for sending you, I guess.” He sure sounded upset. And Roman could understand that. Here Phantom was, doing his part and all the cops could do in return was bother him At least as far as the young vigilante could tell. But then why…?
“Yet you chose to follow me up here?” Roman pressed. That didn’t make any sense. Phantom had shaken off his ‘babysits’ before. What made Roman special?
“Um… Well… I just…” Phantom stammered. Roman wondered why. Was he bad with confrontation? Social interaction in general? Or had Roman said something that hit a nerve somehow?
“You interrupted my stake out!” Phantom blurted out all of a sudden.
“Do you know how long it takes to work my way up the ranks? First I have to find a low level runner, then I follow him to his boss, that guy to his and so up the ladder I go. I was getting real close to the big guy of this group. And now…” Oh… Well Roman could understand how that would be frustrating.
“I apologize,” he said sincerely with a small bow. “I merely intended to help. They were talking about killing you.” Surely he could understand that he could not stand by after hearing that.
“And now there is a price on your head! The leader of that little club is like two steps away from the big boss. They won’t be happy with you taking him in.”
Well… He had a point. But Roman had back up. It would be rather stupid of the mob to come after a hero with government sanctioning. And these guys would go behind bars for a long time right? “You got dirt on them?” he asked. If the guns weren’t enough then surely whatever Phantom  had gleaned from his stakeouts would be sufficient. Right?
“Yes… But that’s not the point. They have no clue about me. Not really. But you are out in the open. This is not your kind of mission Royal pain.” Oh, he had nicknames huh? It was an insult, but Roman didn’t mind witty banter. Especially if it came from a place of care. And Roman was starting to think it did.
“And now that you are out, you can’t expect me to hold your hand any longer…”
Roman crossed his arms and smirked catching the implications of what Phantom just said.
“You’ve been looking out for me all summer huh?” he guessed.
Phantom scoffed and probably rolled his eyes. While Roman still couldn’t quite see it, he would bet his entire Disney collection on it.
“It’s not like I came looking for you.” Phantom snapped. And Roman believed him.
“Still… Thank you…” he was going to say more but then he heard a beep in his ear followed by a loud voice. “Prince! Answer this instant!”
“Ow!” Roman exclaimed annoyed, reflexively reaching for his ear though it wouldn’t help much. He pressed the button to talk to BS. “One. Loud. Two. Rude! I am in the middle of something! And did you seriously remotely reactivate my com?”
He would demand a new com that couldn’t do that or he’d refuse to wear one period. What if he needed to concentrate right now? What if he was in the middle of tense negotiations or being told delicate information. As a matter of fact. This situation right here was delicate. One wrong move and Phantom might bolt. And he might not come along next time he found him. And even if he couldn’t get him to join the program, he wanted Phantom to know he had an ally in him. Someone to talk to, confide in, count on if he didn’t have anyone else.
“You do not turn off your com while going into a gunfight! It’s moronic to go in alone!”
Roman rolled his eyes. “I am fine, not a scratch on me.” He wasn’t going to mention that he wasn’t alone exactly. Phantom had never consented to BS and the rest of his team knowing.
“I’ll call you when I’m done here.” And this time he took the com out of his ear. BS could yell at him later.
“Sorry,” he sighed. “My mentor is… intense at times.” In a cold and distant way.
“Mentor?” Phantom asked.
“One of the people helping me practice my powers, test my limits. Comes with the program. It’s not just a babysit and a nice suit,” he joked casually.
“Oh…” Phantom’s tone was odd. It made Roman want to come closer and offer comfort. He didn’t though. They weren’t at that point yet. Not by a long shot.
“Listen, I admit I was sent by the chief. But I didn’t come here to recruit you. I wanted to thank you and tell you… If you ever need someone to talk to, to help you figure something out… I’d be more than happy to oblige. No need to tell me your name or anything about yourself,” he vowed as he reached out his hand. Phantom hesitated for a few moments before bridging the distance and offering his own.
Roman grinned and grabbed it for a firm shake. “I’ll see you next time,” he assured his fellow hero before letting go and turning around to finish his patrol.
Progress was made. Not much, but still.
He just might’ve made a new friend.
@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse
End of this part meet Virgil and read his story.
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
My Warrior
Daniel x Taylor (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope)
Warnings: !Spoilers!, Swearing
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
Summary: They have all made it out of there. They’re safe from the real horrors, but the scenes that have been imbedded into their minds keep haunting them. They are left with scars to their subconscious as well as scars on their skin. Marks to remind them of what they went through. What they survived. Taylor can’t stand them - the burn marks on her skin and the scars that night left on her. She’s struggling way more than she’d like to admit. But there’s someone who sees through her toughness.
Requested by @chairtiger Hello there my chaotic co-cult leader! Sorry to be posting your request so late 👉👈 hope you understand and forgive me for the long wait. I had a blast writing the fic and I hope you enjoy reading it. Anyway...SHIP DAYLOR FOR CLEAR SKIN EVERYONE...Love, Vy ❤
“Fucking hell, this is torture.“ Taylor groans as she runs a make-up wipe over her foundation-covered, bruised skin. Underneath all those layers of foundations are the marks she’s been so desperate to hide - the reminders of that night. That monstrosity that wanted her dead and wasn’t gonna stop at anything to make that happen.
But it didn’t happen She tells herself, I’m here, aren’t I?
She’s happy to have gotten out of there with her life as well as all her friends, but the feeling of the constant presence of that night’s memories weighing on her mind, and thanks to the marks on her skin as well, she has a hard time accepting that she was indeed lucky. Some fucking luck. If she were lucky she wouldn’t have even ended up in that predicament. But she did and it has taken a bite out of her sanity and will haunt her for good, physically and mentally. No doubt about it.
The first place they all went to after their return was a hospital. Scrapes and bruises and some open wounds along with Andrew’s concussion were the main of the physical injuries. No broken bones or anything permanent, thank God. 
Well, almost nothing permanent. 
Taylor had seen the looks the nurses and the doctor gave her when they saw the state of her skin - much like the others she had bruises and scratches here and there, the most serious of which still had dried blood on them. However, unlike the rest of the group, she’d be left with the burn marks for as long as the memories - forever. Of course, that’s not what the doctor told her, not directly, at least. He said to give them time and some treatment that wasn’t completely sure to work. She knew what that meant - “Be ready to spend the rest of your life like this or in covering it up.”
It’s been one month since that horrible night. One month of treatment for her skin. Lotions, creams, cleansers, foundation. Nothing has worked. She spends an hour going through the process of covering the marks up and an hour taking all that foundation off. No one has commented on them which may be either because she covers them well enough or they simply don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t care what others think of them, people’s opinions never bother her on any ground. The war she has with these burn marks is personal and has all to do with an event she wants to let go of and move on from. As if her nightmares aren’t enough, she also has to deal with flashbacks every time she looks in the mirror.
She hasn’t expressed her frustration to anyone. She has managed to hide it as well as the bruises themselves. It’s Taylor after all, she’s good at putting on an act so no one can read her. But, because it is indeed her, she’s not used to keeping her anger in. She feels like a ticking timed bomb. A bubble with tender, delicate walls that could burst at any moment. And God help the person who she bursts in front of. She’s never held her composure this long, she doesn’t know what will even happen if she lets go.
Now, looking in the mirror, about to take off her foundation and apply the new lotion the doctor prescribed her, she feels as fragile as ever. She’s feeling the lack of sleep more than ever as well as the pain of her tensed muscles that never seem to relax anymore. She doesn’t feel mentally prepared to go through the process of taking off the cover-up. She never feels ready, it always takes a toll on her on mentally, emotionally and even physically. She always feels so tired afterwards, so drained. Maybe because she always expects to see a difference when the foundation comes off. There never is, nothing but disappointment.
Today has been extra hard for her. Her mind has never been hazier from the lack of sleep. Her thoughts are all over the place, none of them clear. Her body’s almost shutting down. She feels like a ghost of herself. Like the real her is in a different location. Probably still stuck in Little Hope.
The foundation’s off, the same sight meets her, mocking her from the mirror. And that’s the snapping point she’s been dreading for a month now. She reaches for the new lotion she picked up on her way home.
“Useless piece of shit!“ she chucks it to the other end of the bathroom. The bottle is unharmed, it just hits the tiled floor with a loud thud. She however is in pieces, also dropping on the ground, her back against the wall, her knees tucked close to her chest, hiding her face between them, sobbing her heart out. It’s certainly a freeing feeling, but it only exhausts her more.
“Hey T...Taylor, what’s wrong?“ She hears the familiar voice and goes silent but does not dare lift her head, especially not now that her cover-up is off her, the burn marks on display. She remains sitting on the ground, face hidden from his sight.
Daniel feels her heart sink at the sight of the most important person in his life being at a low point like this one. He feels guilty for not taking action sooner. He saw the signs, the red flags in the form of fake empty smile, lack of sarcasm, colorless cheeks, eyebags, red eyes. Lack of Taylor, she was nowhere to be seen. She was far from the person he’s used to knowing and seeing every day. Knowing her, he expected prying to be a bad move but now he wishes he’d done it sooner. On time. Before she could crash like this.
“Do you know how to knock?” Her weak attempt at putting her tough act back on slips through the cracks in her voice.
Daniel is by her side asap, kneeling on the ground in front of her. “T, come on, don’t do this. Look at me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She knows better than to hide from Daniel. He know her too well. She trusts him too much. So, despite her previous determination not to let him in on the fact that she’s now a product of that night, she raises her head, resting her chin on her knee, still avoiding his gaze though. He doesn’t bat an eye though. 
Can he really not see what’s bothering me? It’s very fucking obvious
“I- I just feel like I can’t do this, you know. I can’t be fine like the rest of you. You’ve all moved on. And here I am with nightmares like a preschooler and these ugly things all over my skin. That night will permanently hold onto me, Daniel. I can never let it go if I’m reminded of it every time I look in the mirror.“ Her gaze travels to the lotion bottle on the an arm’s reach away. “I can empty as many of these bottles as I feel like, they never help. The doctor says they maybe would, big emphasis on the ‘maybe’ but, spoiler alert: they never do. I wish they’d stop stringing me along, every failed attempt is a hard-to-swallow disappointment.“ She chuckles humorlessly when Daniel takes the bottle from her, “And then there’s always the casually mentioned risk of it making them worse rather than better. You know, casually. Like, yeah this will either help you or fuck you up even worse.“ She ends the rant with a sigh, almost feeling like herself again.
Daniel sees it too, the fire in her eyes is fighting to light again. She’s so angry and yet she can’t express it to anyone. Anyone by him apparently. 
“So, you’re not gonna give it a shot?“ She shakes her head, “But what if it helps?“
“What if it makes it worse?“ She automatically replies, hugging her knees closer
“Let it be your last go. If it doesn’t do anything, or God forbid makes things worse, it’s on me. I owe you whatever you want. I know that’s nothing in comparison to what you’ll be dealing with, but...“ Sensing a speech is on its way, Taylor holds her hand up, shaking her head.
“Alright, spare me Mr. I-Don’t-Take-Medicine-Unless-I’m-On-My-Death-Bed. Give me the lotion.“
He shakes his head, stands up and takes hold of the hand she has outstretched instead. “Nah-ah, let me help.” The skeptical and downright humoring look she gives him when she stands to her feet almost makes him frown. “What? I’m not clueless, T. I know a think or two about skin care. You think this all came naturally?” He motions at himself cockily, stealing a genuine laugh from her.
“I knew nature couldn’t fuck up that badly. I suspected you had something to do with it.“ She narrows her eyes, meeting his also narrow-eyed gaze, both in on the fact that the other is messing around.
“Your skin is at my mercy. I wouldn’t talk smack if I were you.“ He playfully warns her, waving the lotion bottle in front of her.
She rolls her eyes, “Yeah whatever you say, tough guy.“ She opens a drawer under the sink and throws him a box of cotton pads.
Not wasting any time in fear she might change her mind, Daniel takes one pad out and puts a few drops of the lotion on it. He hesitantly brings it closer to the skin on the side of her neck while she stands as still as a statue, not breathing either. Despite all the bold talk, he’s still nervous. He really hopes this miracle liquid of chemicals works, solely because it will make Taylor happy. And to him, her happiness is all that matters.
She shudders when the cold, damp cotton pad makes contact with her skin and he immediately feels the need to apologize. Instead, however, he goes on to tell her exactly what’s on his mind, cause he knows there’ll never be a better time.
“What you call a reminder of that night, the horrors we endured, I see it differently...“ he trails off, looking at her reflection in the mirror out of the corner of his eye. “I see it as proof that we’re stronger than we know. And you, T...are the strongest of us all. Any of these scars could have been a lethal would but here you are, alive. And no, I’m not trying to say you’re lucky. None of us are. Lord knows what kind of fucked up luck we posses, but it ain’t right. No, you are brave. You went through it and fought to leave the battle with scars instead of dropping to the ground with a wound that is irredeemable. You’re a warrior, Taylor.” He pauses for a second and so do the movements of his hand. He hesitantly inhales before saying the last sentence he’s been holding back, “My warrior.” 
Taylor tilts her head to look at him, genuine surprise and warmth in her eyes. She’s baffled. Pleasantly caught off-guard by words she never thought she’d hear, let alone trust. She covers all this up with a smirk. Classic Taylor. “You weren’t really a pansy back there either, Dan.” She gently bumps his shoulder with hers.
His eyes narrow again. “I hate that nickn-“ It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t get to finish his sentence cause her lips are already on his, preventing him from ranting about...whatever he was about to go off about.
You know what they say: If you don’t finish saying it, it was never meant to be said in the first place. 
@artlovingbre  @megandaisy9  @sparrow-gg​
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probably-writing-x · 4 years
Text
Out of love (Part 2)
(I’ve had to change certain aspects of the actual series to suit but... we move)
Not my Gif
Part 3 coming soon (If anybody actually wants a part three)
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Summary - Guzmán has faced a lot over the past year, and you’d always been by his side through it all. It was a given. But there’s only so far that will stretch when he doesn’t reciprocate. How far will you go before you drain yourself of energy and give up on the one boy you’ve ever truly loved?
“(Y/n)?” The teacher calls out registration as every morning goes but it instantly switches from normality when your name isn’t met with a response.
If your name hadn’t already made Guzman’s heart sink, your absence certainly did. You never missed school, especially on important days like this. It was the open day for universities and he knew you’d always had high aspirations for your future. You wouldn’t want to miss the chance to network at something like that.
“She’s not here?” Guzmán mumbles to Ander, hoping for any sort of explanation from your brother.
“Of course not,” Ander rolls his eyes, turning away from Guzmán and facing the front of class.
Guzmán couldn’t even be mad at him for siding with you. He would do the same. He did do the same. He knew he was in the wrong. But his greatest fear was that he wouldn’t be given the chance to fix it. Tears pool in his eyes and he fights a losing battle to stop them from spilling.
- - - - - -
“You still haven’t spoken to him?” Omar frowns, leaning back against the kitchen counter as you sit on the countertop across from him.
“I don’t know what I’d say,” You brush your finger around the circle of the top of your coffee mug.
“Hasn’t he tried to call?” Omar persists, flinching when the toaster pings to say it is complete.
You scoff, “I turned my phone off.”
“(Y/n)!” Omar laughs, “You’re really done with him?”
The statement alone makes so much emotion build in your heart that you’re sure it’s above anything you can handle. The thought of being done with the boy you loved. How could that be? So soon? So abrupt? It didn’t feel right. But, if he didn’t feel the same about you, how could you ever not be done with him?
“Looks like we’re both having a shit time with relationships then,” Omar comments as he hands your breakfast over, “But, unlike me, you still have your education - so get ready for school and show those universities why they should have you.”
He’s right. Ending things with Guzmán, if that’s really what happened, should never be a reason for you to jeopardise your future. So, with a heavy heart and a swirling mind, you choose to take Omar’s suggestion.
- - - - - -
School doesn’t feel the same when you’re not walking through the corridors with Guzmán. When he’s not waiting for you by your locker or his gym bag isn’t crammed into yours because there was no room left in his locker. It feels physically and emotionally empty.
“Hey beautiful!” It’s Valerio that comes up and throws an arm around your shoulder, “No boyfriend today?”
“Go away, Valerio,” You roll your eyes, trying to pull his arm away.
Instead, he doesn’t budge, “Did you finally pluck up the courage to end things?”
You’re silent.
“Probably for the best, huh?” He scoffs, “You’ve deserved better than him for a long time.”
With that, you push him away with enough force that you even surprise yourself. You glare at him with a burning stare, “It’s none of your fucking business!”
He smirks and it makes you want to rip the look right off his face. There’s a crowd of people scattered around the corridor - eyes now on the sweetheart of the school in her evident demise.
“Can you just leave me alone?” When he doesn’t respond, you let out a sharper tone, “Please!”
“Hey, hey, hey...” Valerio begins but it doesn’t take long for him to be quickly cut off.
“She told you to go.”
The cold, harsh tone is only distinctive to Guzmán- there was nobody else that would say it like that. And, just as you’d guessed, he’s there. He steps in between the two of you and holds a hand towards Valerio’s chest until the boy finally gives up. Guzmán turns to you.
“You didn’t need to do that,” You say it quietly because it seems like both of you are broken enough already.
“I know, I just figured if I-“
“Thank you,” You smile lightly, “I should go.”
That was worse than if you’d have yelled in his face and told him to leave you alone just as you had done with Valerio. Instead, you’d just given him ten more reasons to love you even more. Ten more reasons that he seemed incapable of showing properly. His heart sinks as you’re walking away but it doesn’t look like you. Your shoulders have fallen and your steps seem like theyre taking all of your energy from you. No, he’d been the one to take that. Now you were just using up what was left.
You find yourself strolling around the different stalls set up around school, with no real focus on any of them in particular.
“(Y/n)!” It’s Lu that calls you over and you glance up.
She’d always wanted to be with Guzmán, since before the two of you were together and generally for a lot of the time that you were. It’s not that the two of you hated one another but how could you not carry a slight loathing towards her?
“So it seems like things with you and Guzmán aren’t great?” She pouts, treating this like another one of the times where the two of you were fed up of one another. It happened occasionally. Usually because he forgot to come over the night before, or you’d cancelled plans you’d made. It always lasted a day and then brushed away after the two of you couldn’t keep at it any longer.
“Yeah, I guess not,” You comment, your voice quieter and weaker than you’d hoped it would be.
“Hey, you okay?” That’s the thing about Lu - beyond that exterior, she had a heart of gold.
“Sorry, yeah,” You shake your head, “Just, um, a lot going on I guess.”
“Oh come on, its you and Guzmán,” She scoffs, “Somehow, and I don’t know how, that boy is obsessed with you.”
You find yourself looking over to where he stood, leaning against a wall away from everyone else. Obsession. Was that what it was? Did that ever really mean the same as love? Before you can say anything more, Lu is hurrying off to speak to Nadia - likely sending some smart remarks her way in response to their competition for the Columbia scholarship. A big part of you was trying to convince yourself that you should be doing the same, networking with different universities to grab at their best opportunities. But a small part of you didn’t really feel ready to leave Las Encinas, not like this. When you glance up to see Guzmán again, he’s already gone.
- - - - - -
“Hey, I’m not late am I?” You drop your bag as you finally find your Mum Ander and Omar in the hospital.
“No, we should be next,” Ander nods, evidently weaker in his form now as he sits in the same seat as he had done before every appointment.
“Okay,” You let out a breath, hugging your Mum before sitting on the other side of Omar, “You okay?”
Omar looks at you and forces a smile, “No.”
You smile back gently, “Yeah, that makes four of us.”
When you’re called in for the appointment, part of you feels so strongly sure that it would all be okay. That Ander would have already found the light at the end of this falling tunnel. He’d have a way of getting out of all of this and it could be thought of as history.
When the doctor says otherwise, it’s like your whole fake world comes crashing down around you.
“I’m sorry Ander,” The doctor sighs, “But please, rest assured that we will do everything we can to get you through this. And I have strong faith that you have the strength to do so.”
You can tell Anders not listening to a word of it anymore, and none of you are picking up on much. It makes you feel weak to the middle of your bones, like you’re wishing with every ounce of you that you could take his place. It should be me. It should be me. It should be-
“(Y/n)?” It’s Omar that breaks you from your thoughts and, somehow, all of you are out of that room now. You’d not even noticed that you’d moved.
The two of you look at each other and your gazes say enough words that no sound could muster as his arms wrap around you and you do the same for him. Like both of you are holding each other up. You stay like that until Ander joins you, and the three of you aren’t really sure who’s comforting whom anymore.
- - - - - -
It’s the next day when you hear Guzman’s voice downstairs. You hear him talk to Ander about everything and tell him he’ll always be there for him. In the end, you tune out of their conversation and put your earphones in - he’d be gone soon. But an undeniable lump forms in your throat when you hear him coming upstairs.
A text pings through from Ander on your phone - I tried to stop him :/ Sorry
Guzmán knocks softly on your open door and you have to fight with every morsel of you that’s telling you to not look up. He’s still in his school uniform and he has his bag still slung over his shoulder, gym bag held in the other hand.
“Hi,” He begins, waiting as you take out your earphones and sit up straight in bed.
“Hey,” You respond, pushing your laptop from your lap and folding down the screen slightly.
“I won’t stay if you don’t want me to. I just figured I’d come and see if you were okay.” He explains, looking more awkward than ever in a place he’d treated as a second home.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” You nod, running a hand through your messy hair, “Um, did I miss much at school?”
A smile dances on his lips, “Classic,” He chuckles, pulling down his bag and grabbing out some stuff, “I got all of the work you need, and you can copy my notes.”
“Thank you,” You force a smile, taking the books from him and brushing your thumb over the cover where you’d written his name.
He drops his bags down by the door and makes his way over, “Miss mentioned that you hadn’t got your name down for any universities, they could’ve just missed you but-“
“I didn’t write down for any.”
Guzmán frowns and takes a seat on the side of the bed, turning to face you, “What? Why? What happened to Oxford?”
You swallow the lump in your throat, “Things have changed since then.”
It’s like the realisation hits him ten seconds too late, “You were always going to go to Oxford with Marina.”
You cross your legs and look down at their fold to avoid his stare, “I know it seems silly, she’d hate me for even considering not going. But I’m not sure I see myself at any university anymore.”
“Seriously?” He chokes a little - was it because of him?
“I don’t know, I can’t even think about leaving with everything that’s going on,” You shake your head.
“Hey,” Guzmán shifts and his hand falls onto your leg as he squeezes gently, “I’m so sorry about Ander, but the doctor has said they-“
“I know what the doctor said, Guzmán,” It’s too harsh and you wish you could retract it instantly, “But they weren’t right when they said it would work originally.”
“They’re doing all they can,” He encourages, not phased by your irritation, “Ander doesn’t give up easily.”
“That was when he was chasing after Omar, not something like this,” Your bottom lip quivers but you still don’t release any tears. Part of you wishes that you would if it would stop all of the pressure that builds up.
“Here,” He sighs, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest. The positioning is awkward and everything feels so oddly uncomfortable but you find yourself melting into him like he’s there for all the right reasons. No. You couldn’t cave this quickly.
“You should go Guz,” You sniff, pulling away, “I’ll bring back your notes tomorrow.”
“(Y/n)...” The crease between his brows shows him trying to find all of the right words to say. Instead, he says none.
He picks up his bags and heads back out like he’d never been there.
- - - - - -
It takes a whole other 10 days of the same with you and Guzmán. You’d see him at appointments with Ander but never for too long and never with much conversation. You’d see him at school but always avoid him when you could. He’d bump into you in the corridor, give a light smile and continue about his day. And every piece of every day consisted of the two of you proving that you could live without each other. Or maybe just that you could live without him. Maybe he was handling it just fine. You still saw him with Samu, or saw him yelling about Polo, he still laughed with Ander or dismissed Lu’s advances - in every way, it felt like he was normal but just without you. And maybe that oddly confirmed everything you’d been feeling before. You’d truly managed to make this boy fall out of love with you.
“(Y/n), you look great but if you take any longer, you’ll be going alone,” Omar groans from the doorway as you’re still getting ready, “What else is there for you to do?”
“Find a way of avoiding Guzmán, perhaps,” You sigh, slipping on your shoes and adjusting to the new height, “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”
“Seriously?” Omar rolls his eyes, “We’re not doing this again. It’s a party, I wouldn’t even be surprised if Guzmán doesn’t show.”
As per usual, the party was at the club and you knew Guzmán well enough to know he wouldn’t resist going to something like that. No matter how much he tried.
“Okay, how do I look?”
“Oh my god I’m not saying it again, let’s go! I’m going to be late for my shift!” Omar drags your hand, pulling you out of the room so you couldn’t stress yourself anymore.
There was no reason for any of this partying tonight, no specific reason for you to all get together. Other than the fact that you all just wanted a night to escape.
And that’s exactly what you would do.
The club is already bustling as you say goodbye to Omar and head towards where the rest of the crowd were.Lu greets you quickly before hurrying off and Cayetana gives you a wave as you pass her. It felt like everybody was acting tonight. But when weren’t they at Las Encinas?
“(Y/n)!” Carla calls when she sees you, “How are you? How’s Ander?”
“He’s okay, treatment is underway again so we’ll see what the results are,” You nod, not replying to the first question.
“I’m sorry to hear about you and Guzmán. I always thought you two were meant to be,” She shrugs a little, “But you’ve deserved better than him for a long time.”
It shouldn’t annoy you in the way that it does. You’d ended things with him for that exact reason - he wasn’t good to you. But hearing someone else say it? It was like she’d offended you more than you’d like to admit. Because that wasn’t the case, right? You’d never deserved more than Guzmán. He’d been kind, caring, honest, funny, loyal, protective... all good traits packaged into one boy. Sure, that had changed towards the end of your relationship. But that was because circumstances changed. Everything in both of your worlds was pulling you in a hundred different directions and it meant that you fell out of touch.
“(Y/n)?” Carla waves a hand in front of you, “We should get you a drink!”
You agree to her encouragement and head to the bar with her, eyes trailing over everyone in hopes that you’d see the one boy that stood above the crowd.
And, just as you knew, he was there. You avoid his gaze and keep your eyes focused on Carla ahead of you. If you looked at him, you’d be too weak to look away.
Guzman’s eyes are fixated on you and only you. He watches every move like he’s trying to find out where in the world he went wrong. He had it all and his own arrogance and ignorance made him lose exactly that. It pains him, makes him feel sick to his stomach as he considers the thought of truly living without you. Up until now, he’d just been passing by in the weird grey zone where he knew you were still somewhat there. And he still hadn’t answered your question. When did he fall out of love with you? Fall out of love with everything? Did he ever?
He stays trailing his eyes on you for as long as he can from where he’s stood until it takes all of his strength to look away. His heart breaks just a little more.
- - - - - -
It’s only later into the night, maybe once the alcohol runs through you, that you decide to walk over. There was something that needed to be said.
“Guzmán,” You say it from behind him and half expect the music to drown you out.
But he turns around practically with fear in his eyes, “(Y/n).”
“I just wanted to say...” You stop yourself, taking in every bit of the appearance you adored, “Thank you for the other day at mine. You’ve been a good friend to Ander, and to me.”
“A friend?” He raises his brows, “Anders like my brother. And you know I’d never call you a friend.”
You take a deep breath, “I know that. I just wanted to say-“
“I get it,” His hand reaches up and rubs your arm gently, “It’s fine, I’m always here.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m going to go.”
You pull yourself together and go to turn away from him. You’d managed for two whole weeks to not kiss those lips, not plead with him to love you again, not break down and tell him you’d do everything to have him back - tonight wouldn’t be the night that it changes.
“(Y/n),” He stops you, standing close behind you as he speaks.
You don’t turn around. The sound of that word falling from his lips is enough to melt any barrier you’d built up hastily.
“I never stopped loving you. Not one part of me, my heart, my soul, ever stopped belonging to you. I just strayed too far from home and made it seem that way. And I know I went wrong,” He confesses it all but it feels so raw, “And you have every right to hate me for the way I treated you.”
You take in a shaky breath and your head starts to pound. This boy was about to make you cry.
“I never fell out of love with you,” He reiterates, “But I will spend every day from now until forever trying to prove to you why you shouldn’t fall out of love with me.”
Your shoulders drop and you feel like you could fall to the ground there and then. And tell him that was practically impossible. But you knew you couldn’t do that - to yourself or to him. He’d hurt you. And you needed to be one hundred percent sure that things would change before you went running back into those open arms.
Deep breath, shoulders back, let that one single tear fall - and walk away.
——————
Tags: @bi-mama @fanficparker
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radiioman · 3 years
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Okay, so i said i was going to write a big post, so here it is. Better late then never.
I want to apologize to everyone about yesterday. I got into a very bad mental state due to my high anxiety. I haven't had an anxiety attack so bad or one that lasted that long in a long time. I fixated on my dupe anxiety but it was something else that triggered it. But I'm feeling better today.
I'm so sorry for not being  very active. If feel very bad about it. I want to interact with my friends and with new mutuals, and I'm sorry that I haven't been. So much has happened in this last month that I am physically and emotionally drained. I've tried starting a queue but its very confusing for me--though i might try again.
I'm just very tired. I'm burnt out--not from Mic, but from life as a whole. I want to RP. I want to interact. And i don't want people to think i'm don't want to. I’m also going to soft block people i’m not mutuals with. I’m also going to stop committing to events. I just...don’t have the energy I hoped I have and keep disappointing people.
I'm going through my asks to clear out a bunch of asks I don't think I'll respond to. This doesn't mean I won't respond if you send more! I just...need to clear it out to help me get motivation. I don't work thursday so hopefully I can...work on a queue for drafts. Again, I'm really sorry. I don't want to disappoint anyone. I really love being here.
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skye-maxwell · 4 years
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Worth-most
Persona 4 | Souyo | Young adult, established relationship | Rated T
Happy birthday, @romeo-and-antoinette! 🎈🎀🎉 Hope you like it, friend! 
For prompt #103 “You’re worth every second of my time” from this nifty prompt list. This does start off a bit angsty, but IS ROMANCE, PROMISE!
---
There was nothing like a long day at work to make Yosuke feel completely worthless. His boss, his coworkers, his clients—everyone had gotten on his nerves today, and every single one of them took him for granted. Maybe he wasn’t the smartest person in the office, or the most willing to kiss ass, but he was a good, loyal, consistent worker, which was more than could be said for just about everyone else there. 
He was drained physically and emotionally, plus he was starving. As he climbed the stairs to his apartment, he wondered if he would make it up to the fourth floor, or if he would just collapse before he got there. Or better yet, his stomach would growl so hard that he would crack the foundation of the building, and the whole structure would crumble down on top of him. 
That would be a fitting end to today, Yosuke thought morosely, halfway aware that his thoughts only got this dramatic when he was really spent. 
Even if literally everything had sucked all day, he at least had one thing to look forward to—Souji had promised him a homemade dinner tonight. Even though they lived together and saw each other every day, it had been a while since they’d eaten dinner together, let alone one of Souji’s famous made-from-scratch meals. Yosuke felt like it was a waste—a waste of Souji’s talents in the kitchen and (selfishly) a waste of Yosuke basically having his own personal chef in his home. 
But tonight, Souji had promised to cook for him. Yosuke’s mouth started to water just imagining some inevitably delicious scent hitting him in the face once he opened their front door, and the thought just barely gave him the strength to climb the final flight of stairs. 
However, when he unlocked the door and threw it open, there was no delicious scent there to greet him. 
Yosuke wondered if Souji was cooking something that didn’t have a particularly strong aroma, but if there was one thing Souji wasn’t shy about, it was his use of seasonings. Maybe he had finished cooking early and put everything away to heat back up when Yosuke got home? Or maybe he made something cold? It was a pretty crisp evening outside though, so Yosuke was sure Souji would want to prepare something warm… 
Yosuke dropped his bag and went to the kitchen to investigate. Souji wasn’t there, the lights were off, and it almost looked like nothing in the room had even been touched since Yosuke had left that morning, which was strange since Souji worked from home and should have made himself lunch at some point. 
Staving off his disappointment, Yosuke checked the fridge, but nothing had changed in there either. He even checked the stove, the oven, and even the microwave for residual heat, but once again he came up with nothing. 
Yosuke hadn’t heard from Souji all day, but that was par for the course lately. They didn’t mean to call and text each other less during the workday than they used to, but again, busy. 
Then Yosuke started to get a sneaking suspicion, so he made his way down the hall to the spare room they had made into Souji’s office. 
The door was cracked open, and Yosuke pressed his ear near the gap, only to hear Souji quietly muttering to himself the way he only ever did when he was both very stressed and very focused. Yosuke felt a rush of both relief and annoyance—Souji was alive at least, but there he was just sitting at his desk and not keeping his dinner promise that had been his idea and he had made such a big deal about, saying he wanted to spend time with Yosuke and do something special for him. 
Choosing to tread lightly just in case, Yosuke peeked his head in the door and said, “Souji? You got a sec?” 
Souji’s head shot up from where it was buried in a stack of papers, his eyes going unfocused behind his reading glasses as he looked at Yosuke. 
“Oh. You’re home,” Souji said flatly, and for some reason, that made Yosuke’s blood boil. 
Souji then looked from Yosuke to the clock that was hung high up on the wall, lowering his glasses so he could actually read the time. 
“Guess you don’t have a sec, then,” Yosuke said bitterly, looking away from Souji. “I’m not very hungry. I’m gonna go straight to bed.” 
He was still hungry (even if this exchange had somewhat soured his appetite), but throwing that in would be a reminder to Souji of his broken promise while also letting him know that he didn’t need to bother tending to Yosuke for the rest of the night if he really didn’t want to. 
As soon as Yosuke reached their bedroom, he fell face-first into bed, not caring about changing out of his work clothes or washing up or making himself anything to eat. He just lay there, stubbornly putting up with how difficult it was to breathe with his face pressed into the mattress because he was just so done. 
“This is so stupid,” he groaned into the bedding. “After all this time, I’m still just a disappointment, first at work, and now at home too? I really am worthless, huh?” 
“No,” Souji’s voice said softly from the doorway. 
Yosuke groaned again. 
Souji had heard him say that? Of course he had. 
Yosuke felt the mattress dip as Souji sat beside him, and Yosuke turned his face away, really not wanting to talk right now. 
Souji asked, “What makes you say that?” 
“Say what? The worthless thing? Don’t worry about it. Aren’t you busy? You should go back to your work.”
Yosuke was being petty, and he knew it. He was pushing away the only person who could comfort him, and he knew that too. Still, it felt like he couldn’t help it. At least he had enough self-control to not let out all the negativity at once—he wasn’t yelling or throwing anything or spontaneously combusting. That had to count for something.
“You’re more important than my work,” Souji said, and Yosuke almost scoffed at what appeared to be just a platitude at this point. 
Souji gently placed a hand on the middle of Yosuke’s back, and Yosuke froze. As much as he wanted to squirm away in a show of not accepting comfort from his Partner who he was mad at, that would be way too much effort in his current position. 
Souji continued, “And that’s why I feel terrible about letting time get away from me. I was so focused on my work, I had no idea how much time had passed. That’s no reason to break a promise, though.”
“So you remember, huh?” Yosuke said, immediately hating how he must have sounded like a whiny baby who was crying about missing his afternoon snack or something. “It’s whatever, man. Look, I’m in a bad mood, so just go back to what you were doing. Don’t waste your time on me; I know it’s valuable.” 
Souji’s hand lightly grasped the back of Yosuke’s sweater, probably involuntarily, and his voice broke as he said: “You’re worth every second of my time.” 
Shit, Yosuke thought, feeling like a huge asshole. In his bitter state, he had wanted to upset Souji to get back at him, but as soon as he could actually hear that Souji was upset, he wanted to take it all back. 
Yosuke slowly turned to look up at Souji, who looked guilty, and scared, and devastated, and whatever darkness spell was cast over Yosuke’s heart started to dissipate.
“I’m so sorry, Yosuke,” Souji said, his pretty silver eyes pleading for a forgiveness that only Yosuke could grant; he was never good at forgiving himself. 
As Yosuke peered up at him—his beautiful and imperfect Partner, the only person who truly thought Yosuke was worth everything and made that clear as often as he could (except this particular instance where he just happened to make a mistake on the wrong day at the wrong time)… 
Yosuke sat up and crawled into Souji’s lap, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. 
“I’m sorry too.” 
Souji quickly hugged Yosuke back as if his life depended on it, and then he placed a kiss on Yosuke’s cheek before breathing a warm sigh into Yosuke’s hair—and just like that, it felt like Yosuke’s world had fallen back into alignment. 
“I love you, Partner.” 
“I love you too.” 
They sat like that for a while, not saying anything, until the silence was finally broken by both of their stomachs growling. 
Souji said sadly, “You’re starving, aren’t you...”  
In the exact same tone, Yosuke asked, “You skipped lunch, didn’t you…” 
They both answered, “Yeah.” 
Still holding onto Yosuke with one arm, Souji reached into his pocket for his phone. 
“I’ll order our usual for tonight, and I swear I will make you dinner tomorrow night. I’ll set a hundred reminders on my phone, and I’ll prep some of the ingredients in the morning before I even start working, and—”
“Okay, I believe you. Extra dumplings, please,” Yosuke requested as he watched Souji text their order to the owner of the local takeout place with whom they were way too familiar with at this point. 
After Souji hit send, he tossed the phone on the bed, and his arm resumed its place around Yosuke. He looked reverently up into Yosuke’s eyes, as if he was gazing up at the stars. “I swear this time, Yosuke. I swear… on your life.” 
“On my life?! Aren’t you supposed to swear on like, your mother’s life or something?” 
“Your life is the most important to me,” Souji stated, and Yosuke knew that it wasn’t just a platitude. 
“Partner, if that’s your weird-ass way of trying to convince me I’m not worthless—”
“You’re the opposite of worthless. You’re… worth-more. You’re worth-most!” Souji said, eyes bright with his own assertion. 
“That’s not a word.”
“It wasn’t until now because no one has ever been worth-most until you.” 
“You’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.”
“Probably, but not because I think you’re worth-most. That just can’t be helped.” 
“Okay, you love me, I get it,” Yosuke said tiredly, slumping against Souji. 
“Nope, I don’t think you do,” Souji said, planting a quick kiss into the side of Yosuke’s neck. “It’ll take about fifteen, twenty minutes for the food to come, so in the meantime, I’ll just have to remind you of how much you mean to me.” 
Yosuke pulled back to shoot Souji an incredulous look. 
“Are you seriously trying to fit in a quickie before the food comes?” 
Caught off guard, Souji looked up at him with wide eyes, his mouth parting a bit as he struggled to come up with a response.
“That’s not what I… I was thinking more like, I could massage some of this tension out of your back while I listen to you talk about what happened at work today…”
 “Oh.”
“…but if you want…” 
“No! Forget it.”
Souji chuckled as Yosuke climbed out of his lap and promptly turned his back to him for that back rub. 
After a thorough massage, a therapeutic venting session, a few more apologies, more than a few kisses, and a hastily scarfed-down dinner, the two of them cuddled up on the couch, as per Yosuke’s request.
“Thanks, Partner,” Yosuke sighed, feeling better than he had in days, maybe weeks. “Sorry again.” 
“It’s okay.” 
“Are you sure you don’t need to get back to work though?” 
“I’m all yours, for the rest of the night,” Souji promised, and Yosuke nodded appreciatively. “So did you want that quickie now or later?” 
Souji was obviously joking, but Yosuke angled his body toward him and started pressing kisses along his jaw, feeling the heat from Souji’s blush as it started to form on his cheeks. 
In all seriousness, Yosuke asked softly against Souji’s skin, “It doesn’t have to be quick, does it?” 
Already losing himself under Yosuke’s touch, Souji murmured, “Ngh… n-not at all.”
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chilling-seavey · 4 years
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What if Florence and Daniel got into a fight bc both of them are stressed out worrying about money and taking care of the kids?? How would my OTP resolve their fight??? 🤔
This was lowkey emotionally draining to write...wowey. 3.3k words later, here’s some proof that Florence and Daniel’s relationship isn’t as perfect and flawless as it seems... x
Monday, November 4th, 2024
Daniel let out a heavy breath as he got into his car after another shift, having spent most of it with his supervisor never being satisfied but that wasn’t new. He turned on the car and connected his phone to Bluetooth to call Florence as he always did before leaving. Strangely, he was sent to voicemail but a text came through instead.
Can you pick up diapers on your way home?
He sighed and replied with a quick ‘ok’ before pocketing his phone and putting the car in reverse. Closer to home, he parked outside the drugstore and headed inside, rushing down the aisles to find the diapers and grabbed the biggest package before bringing it to the cash.
“$37.45.” the cashier said after ringing up the item.
Daniel waved his card and was directed to the machine. He typed in his pin and waited a moment only to be met with card declined: insufficient funds. The glance from the cashier made Daniel feel even worse and he cleared his throat nervously, brushing a hand through his hair before shuffling through his wallet to only be met with a $10 bill and a few loose coins.
“Sorry… I, uh, left my other card at home.” Daniel said softly before leaving the store empty handed.
He sat behind the wheel of his car and tried to steady his breathing after being unable to afford diapers for his baby daughter. After a few moments of trying to calm down and trying not to cry, Daniel turned on the car and headed towards home.
The apartment smelt like burnt supper when he walked in and the noise was insane, the baby’s piecing screams topping it all. No one even heard him come in. Daniel set his guitar case and backpack on the floor in the doorway to the living room, taking in the messy kitchen and loud TV with Clementine sat admits a pile of toys trying to watch it, Penelope on the couch with her face in a pillow and her hands over her ears as she cried, and screaming Lucy in Florence’s arms as the dishevelled looking mother tried to put the dishes in the sink.
“Hey.” Daniel finally spoke, earning the glances of Florence and Clementine.
Clementine jumped up and ran for him as if he was her saviour from the chaos and he picked her up with a tired grunt.
“What’s going on here?” Daniel asked softly.
“Mommy burnt the house down!” Clementine said with a giggle as Daniel carried her towards the kitchen, his eyes lingering on Penelope on the couch for a moment.
“I just burnt the lasagna a bit.” Florence sighed, wiping her damp hand on her shirt that was already covered in tomato sauce and baby drool. Her hair was pulled back but still almost completely falling out of its tie and her makeup-less face looked like she hadn’t slept in days. “Did you pick up the diapers?”
Daniel cleared his throat nervously, setting Clementine back on the ground to let her run back off to the TV, “No, my-”
“Goddammit, Daniel, I ask you to do one thing.” Florence snapped as quietly as she could, tossing the pan in the sink a bit too hard, making Lucy scream louder in her arms.
“I tried, I just-”
“It’s not that hard to remember. Your daughter needs diapers. We have, like, four left but that’s fine; when we run out I’ll just tie one of your shirts around her like a freaking monkey at the zoo.”
“Florence, what is going on?” Daniel asked at her obvious stressed out state.
“I had to pick up Penelope only an hour after dropping her off this morning because the teacher called and said she had a meltdown and wouldn’t relax and everything is setting her off today. The damn oven beeped and she lost her mind. Of course Lucy’s crying only makes it worse and she won’t shut up because she’s teething.” Florence pushed her finger in the five-month-old’s mouth to get a look at her swollen gums and the baby just cried louder. “She also pooped all over everything today which is why we needed new diapers earlier than planned because her personal nuclear bomb ruined half the things on the change table.”
Daniel watched with wide eyes as she rushed over to grab the last two plates from the dining room table and tossed them in the sink too before turning on the tap and letting the water run over everything.
“And Clementine is demanding that she gets this new set for her doll that everyone has at school. She won’t even hear of it for Christmas because she needs it now.” Florence continued. “And she keeps testing me! Judging everything I do like she’s the adult. ‘Mommy, the lasagna’s burnt’. Like I didn’t know!”
“Okay.” Daniel sighed softly, reaching over the counter to take the crying baby from her and made his way to the freezer to take the cold teething ring out and held it out to Lucy. “I’ll take the girls and get them ready for bed and then we can talk.”
“I don’t want to talk. I wanted you to get the diapers like I fucking asked.” Florence grumbled.
“Flora.” Daniel snapped sharply to shut her up.
His glare certainly helped, and she clenched her jaw before looking back to the dishes without another word. Daniel bounced the baby lightly as she kept screaming through the teething ring he desperately tried to put in her mouth as he headed back to the living room.
“Clem, angel, can you tidy up your toys and go get your pyjamas on please?” Daniel asked softly as he turned off the TV.
The almost six-year-old nodded and got up from the rug, starting to gather her things, “There’s a new set you can buy for my dolls, Daddy. It’s a whole car they can ride in and the radio even plays music! It’s really nice and all the girls in my class has it. I wanna get it so we can play together at school.”
“We’ll think about it.” Daniel said, trying to hold back his nausea from the harsh inset of reality. He wanted nothing more than to buy that stupid toy car for his daughter but it was no where near realistic. He set Lucy in her playpen with the teething ring before moving to tend to his middle daughter who was still face down on the couch with her hands over her ears. When he set his hand on her back she startled. “Just me, bug.”
Penelope rolled over, giving him a good look of her swollen red eyes and matted dark hair and tear streaked cheeks, and she held her arms up to him through a hiccup.
“What’s wrong, my love?” Daniel pouted as he bent down and scooped her up, the four-year-old cuddling right into him through her sniffles as he took her to her room to get her cleaned up for bed. He sung softly as he wiped her face clean with a damp cloth and got her into her pyjamas, something that always helped calm her down, and he took his time to help both her and Clementine brush their teeth and comb their hair before tucking them into bed.
Daniel grabbed Lucy for story time, all three girls cuddled up with him as he read them a bedtime story. Lucy fell asleep quickly, probably tired out from all her crying – same with Penelope – and he kissed the oldest two good-night before taking the baby down the hall to bed too. He let his eyes linger on the remaining three diapers in the basket before letting out a small sigh and took one out so he could change her into her pyjamas. Lucy was tucked into her crib with the teething ring beside her just in case and he pushed a pacifier past her lips, watching her for a second as she sleepily sucked on it for a moment, the plastic bumping lightly against her tiny nose.
The apartment was eerily quiet as Daniel closed the nursey door, baby monitor in hand, and made his way back down the hallway for a conversation he really did not want to have.
Florence had the kitchen cleaned up by the time he was back, and they shared expressionless glances as she closed the last cupboard.
“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” Daniel said, placing the baby monitor on the counter between them, “but you don’t need to take it out on me.”
“Maybe if you did what I asked, we wouldn’t have this problem.”
“I tried.” Daniel protested. “It was a hard day and to top it off my card-”
Florence held up her hand to cut him off, “You go to work to play music for eight hours and then come home to a good meal that you don’t have to cook. You have it easy.”
“Easy?” Daniel gaped. “Are you kidding me? You know how much shit I do in my job and how many late nights and early mornings and weekends I put into this. It’s no where near easy.”
“Oh yeah.” Florence chuckled humourlessly. “When you don’t have to lift a finger around here, leaving me to practically raise your children.”
“You think I like never seeing my wife or kids?!” Daniel frowned. “It was bad when Lucy was first born, yeah, but we even had a whole discussion and I got much more time freed up. But I can’t just sit at home all day with you guys, this isn’t a fairy-tale.”
“I know but you act like I’m a psychotic bitch when I let it all get to me! I got shit on today! And walked over and hit and kicked and bitten and screamed at and I burnt my arm trying to get the charred dinner out of the oven. You just don’t understand what it’s like to stay home!”
“You have no idea what it’s like to work! To go out and earn a salary! You could have gone to school and gotten a degree and then figured out what you wanted to do with your life but instead you chose to cruise off everyone else. You didn’t even pay for your first apartment! Callum did! You have no freaking idea the value of money!”
“I was raising my daughter.” Florence seethed. “Fuck you for even saying that.”
“You could have made it work.”
“Sorry I chose to focus on her rather than shoving her in daycare to be pretty much raised by a stranger for the first four years of her life. I didn’t have the money for any of that. I barely had money to put food on the fucking table half the time and you know that.”
“So get over yourself! Stop being so goddamn selfish if you’re so finically-aware!”
“Fuck you!” Florence shouted, walking around the counter as if she were going to leave the room but she stopped in the middle of the living room and turned back to him. “I get that you have to work and I am thankful that you even have a job, but a little compassion isn’t a lot to ask of you.”
“Compassion? Are you serious?” Daniel scoffed loudly, taking a few quick strides across the room to stand in front of her, shouting back his rebuttal, “I nearly wait on you hand and foot and I drop everything whenever you need me and for years I always have! I have done nothing but work my ass off for you and our kids and you still have the audacity to say that it’s still not enough? I work too much and now I don’t work enough and then I don’t ‘understand what you’re going through’. Well, dammit, Florence, what the fuck do you want from me?”
“I want you to care about other things than your work!”
“I already cut my hours! We’re nearly fucking broke, Florence, I don’t know why you can’t understand that! We literally cannot afford for me to lose one more hour a week! Last months rent virtually drained us and we are surviving on a $10 bill and my fucking shoelace right now! I’m pushed to the fucking brim half the time trying to get all the shit done so I don’t have to work overtime so I can still come home to you and the girls and all I’m met with is attitude and snark and an ungrateful wife who scolds me like my goddamn mother when I walk in the door!”
Florence didn’t reply for a beat and the silence lingered heavy over the apartment. Her eyebrows furrowed first before her face scrunched up in anger and she jabbed a finger in Daniel’s face before yelling, “Fuck you! I am not staying home just to make you a supper and serve you a beer in a pretty pink dress and heels with a face full of makeup and a fake smile when you get in from work. This isn’t the 19-fucking-50s! I am allowed to have emotions, Daniel James, and right now you are tugging at every single last one of them! How dare you say these things to me!”
“You are freaking out for no reason!” Daniel shouted louder to top her. “You’re twisting everything I’m saying! Do you even hear yourself?”
“All I can hear is you being a selfish and ungrateful son of a bitch!” Florence screamed, throwing a couch cushion at him.
“Throwing things at me? Real mature, Florence. Real fucking mature! God, why don’t you understand?!” Daniel shut his eyes and threw his hands into his hair and tugged hard to try and rid his frustrations. “You’re so naïve sometimes, you drive me fucking crazy!”
They were already even listening to each other anymore, simply off on their own tangents trying to out-volume the other. Daniel and Florence didn’t fight often, priding themselves on their open communication, but everything eventually hits a bump and when they did, they really did.
“Just go play your pretty music, Daniel! Make some pretty music with your friends and put it online for everyone rave over and shut up. I’ll be here taking care of and being hit like a punching bag by your children.”
“You know what, I would appreciate it if you stopped fucking accusing me of being a shitty father because I have a job! I have been trying my best and if that’s not enough for you then I don’t know what to tell you!” Daniel put his hands up.
“What? You’re gonna leave?” Florence laughed humourlessly, throwing her finger in the direction of the door. “Fine! Go on! Wouldn’t be the first time! Leave when it gets hard Daniel!” She cut her screams, leaning in closer to him to whisper sharply, “Just like Matt did.”
Their fight seemed to echo through the apartment as silence fell again, her angry expression still glaring at him as his face melted into neutrality.
“Don’t say that.” Daniel said softly, trying to each for her.
“Don’t touch me.” Florence stepped back before walking quickly down the hallway.
“Flora, I’m not gonna-” Daniel started after her but the slamming of the bedroom door startled him to stop in place. He took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face to try and calm down, leaning back against the wall of the hallway. It was surprising that the baby wasn’t crying given the fact they just had a ten-minute-long screaming match.
Daniel composed himself enough to open the girls’ bedroom door and peak in, finding them both huddled up together in Clementine’s bed, frightened looks on their faces.
“Hey, my loves.” Daniel sighed, sitting himself on the side of the bed. “I’m sorry if we scared you. Mommy and I haven’t been talking as much as we should have been, and we got a little crazy. Do you forgive us?”
Clementine and Penelope nodded. Daniel kissed each of their heads and got them tucked in again in their own beds.
“No more yelling tonight?” Penelope asked.
“No more yelling.” Daniel promised, smiling sadly between his two eldest. He couldn’t help but let his gaze linger on Clementine a moment longer, remembering the night Matt walked out, leaving nineteen-year-old Florence and baby Clementine alone and a mess in their small apartment. She stared up at him with those same blue eyes he always remembered, and he gave her an extra kiss on the cheek, staying with them until they were drifting back to sleep, “Daddy’s not going anywhere.”
Daniel found himself back outside the master bedroom door with his hand on the knob and his forehead against the cool wood, taking slow breaths to keep himself calm to try the conversation again. He finally opened the door and slipped inside before closing it silently behind him. The light was on in the ensuite and he stopped in the doorway.
Florence glanced up at him from where she stood in front of the vanity brushing her hair. She silently turned back and continued what she was doing.
“Come here.” Daniel whispered, stepping closer and gently pulled her arms down from her hair to wrap around his shoulders and he tucked his own tightly around her waist, peppering a few kisses over her cheek and across her shoulder. “I love you. So fucking much. Even when you scream at me and swear at me and throw things at me.”
Florence sniffled a little, holding him tighter. “I love you too.”
“I’m not going anywhere, okay?” Daniel rubbed a hand over her back. “No matter what.”
“I’m sorry.” Florence mumbled, wrapping her fingers around the material of his shirt and buried her face in his neck.
“I’m sorry too.” Daniel sighed. “My card got declined today. It scared me.”
“What?” Florence leaned back with concern, holding her hands on his biceps to keep him close as she stared at his flushed face.
“$37 for diapers and my card was declined. I felt like a fucking idiot, like an absolute joke of a father…can’t even buy the necessities for my kid.” Daniel sighed, turning to lean back against the counter and hung his head. “I don’t know what we’re gonna do, Flora. I’m scared.”
“I know.” Florence mumbled, petting her hand through his hair. “Maybe we should talk to someone? Get a budget figured out until we get back on our feet. Worst case scenario, we ask your parents for a bit of a loan. We’re not going to lose anything from this.”
Daniel nodded, biting his lip as he stared at the floor, fingers holding tightly onto the edge of the counter behind him.
“I’m sorry.” his voice broke and he struggled to hold back a small sob, quickly hiding his face in his hands.
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s okay,” Florence frowned, wrapping her arms around him to let him cry against her shoulder, “I know how hard you work. You’re such a good dad and an amazing husband. I know you’re trying your best and I also know it’s slowly starting to destroy you.”
Daniel whimpered as he nodded, clinging onto her tighter through his tears as he muffled a sob into her neck.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” Florence sighed, running her hand up and down his back. “I took my own shit out on you. I needed any excuse to yell, I guess.”
“Better me than at the girls.” Daniel chuckled lightly, pulling back from their hug a little to wipe his eyes with the back of his hand.
“I love you.” Florence said strongly, taking his face in her hands. “$0 in your pocket or millions. Doesn’t matter. Don’t you forget it, okay?”
Daniel nodded and leaned in to kiss her once, lingering there a moment longer before pulling back.
“Now no more tears.” Florence said, taking a deep breath herself as she started to feel herself start to cry. “There have been to many tears in this house today.”
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theskzvibe · 4 years
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could i request a fluff and angst oneshot where reader finds out shes pregnant with changbins baby and shes nervous to tell him and when she does he had a bad reaction but later he comes around, thank u!! 💖💖💖 please take ur time :)
you and changbin have been dating for awhile now, and its pretty serious. you two have a shared apartment, and even though you both have busy work schedules, you always make time for each other. unfortunately, recently you have been feeling really sick, and you don’t want to bother changbin because he’s having a comeback soon. he’s been spending late nights in the studio, so you decided to go to a walk in clinic. you had been very nauseous and tired recently, but when the doctor asked if you might be pregnant, you denied it right away. you and changbin always use protection. you just have a bad stomach flu. but ever since you left the doctors office, the idea of you being pregnant wouldn't leave your mind. to calm you worries, you decided to go to the local drug store and buy a pregnancy test, to assure yourself that you weren’t pregnant. when you got home, you felt more anxious about the test. your period was late this month but late periods can be normal right? what if you were pregnant? its not like you and changbin haven't talked about having kids and getting married. but those were your future plans. right now he’s doing so well, the timing would be horrible for you to be pregnant. but you finally decided to bite the bullet and take the test. you put the test on your bathroom counter and set a timer. the anticipation was killing you, this can change your life. it can change your life andchangbin’s life. the alarm finally went off and you walked into the bathroom, feeling more nauseous than ever. you took a deep breath, picked up the test and looked at it. your eyes immediately filled with tears, and you slid down to the floor, feeling sick. positive. you were pregnant. you pulled your knees into your chest and buried your face into them. hugging yourself on your bathroom floor while crying is not how you imagined yourself finding out that your pregnant. you were finally going to be mother, and have a baby with the man you love. but it feels so bitter. he’s already so busy and overwhelmed with his job, how is he going to take this news? you wiped off your tears and hid the test in your purse. you felt emotionally drained, so you decided to book a doctors appointment for tomorrow morning, and go to sleep.
the next morning you woke up in changbin’s embrace. you wish you could just cuddle deeper into him, but it makes you feel guilty for not telling him. quietly getting up out of bed, you get ready for your doctors appointment. changbin was fast asleep, probably because he came home late. at the appointment, your doctor informed you that you are in fact pregnant. it now feels so real. you've always wanted to have kids, and having kids with changbin was what you always wanted. you arrived home, and found chagrin on the couch eating cereal and watching tv. he immediately smiled when you walked through the front door. “hi love! where were you this morning?” he asked pulling you into a hug. “I had a checkup at the doctor” even though you know changbin loves you with his whole being, you still felt so on edge about delivering the news to him. “ah okay. i’m sorry I haven’t been home much, I have just been so busy with finalizing this album before the release. but today I have the day off, so I thought we could spend it together.” he said and then pecked you on your lips. “that sounds perfect binnie.” you kissed him back. “but I have to tell you something first.” you said while breaking eye contact. “okay. you can tell me anything love. what is it?” he started to rub small circles on the back of your hand, a habit he did that he knew calmed you down. nodding, you took a deep breath, “i'm...pregnant.” you huffed out. changbin’s face went blank and he stopped rubbing circles on you hands. you two sat there in silence, and changbin’s face was unreadable. it was blank. he looked so pale, it made you nervous. “you’re kidding right?” his eyes looked at yours for reassurance. when you shook your head no, he let go of your hands. you grabbed onto your purse, ready to show him the test, when he stood up and said “I can’t do this right now” and picked up his stuff and left your apartment. you stood there stunned, but quickly followed after him and he was too fast and drove off. tears started streaming down your face. changbin always supported and loved you no matter what, and never left like this. you understand that hes overwhelmed but he just left. will he ever be back? you found just enough strength to walk back to your apartment, before you fell onto the couch and sobbed for hours.
you woke up the next morning on the couch, you fell asleep after you cried. looking around the apartment, changbin is nowhere to be found. you grabbed a glass of water and sat back down on the couch, and wrapping yourself in a blanket. you started to re-analyze your last conversation you had with changbin right before he left. but the front door of your apartment broke you from your thoughts. the sight in front of you killed you. changbin stood there with teary eyes, and a pained expression. he was wearing one of chan’s hoodies, so you assumed he stayed at chan’s place. he slowly walked up to you and sat next to you. he looked into your eyes and started crying more. “I'm so sorry” he whispered before more tears pooled in his eyes. “I'm such a coward I shouldn't have left you like that, I should have spoke to you.” he shoved his face in his hands. “I love you so much, I was just so overwhelmed.” he started crying harder, at this point he was hyperventilating. you quickly pulled him into your arms and kissed the top of his head. “its just that work has been a lot lately, its clouding my brain. but that's no excuse for leaving you. I could have really messed things up.” he was shaking in your arms and it broke your heart. “but I know that you are the love of my life, and I want to have kids with you.” he said, and you pulled him in for a proper hug, and at this point you were crying too. “im sorry if I hurt you when I left, I just needed to process everything.” “its okay binnie, I understand.” you pecked his cheek. “but I promise that I will love and support you and this baby for the rest of my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you y/n.” a tear slid down your cheek, and changbin gently wiped it away. “I love you so much changbin, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you too. “ you giggled and then leaned in and connected your lips with changbins. the kiss was passionate and yet so loving. “we are going to have a little family together.” changbin said, and he smiled so wide it made you smile. 
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hartigays · 4 years
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2 for Harringrove ??
2. “The thought of losing you scares me.”
(these are supposed to be fluff prompts but we going ✈️ end of the world anyway bc i can)
it’s been six months, eight weeks, and four days since their plan at starcourt failed. six months, eight weeks, and four days since the sky turned black and red and the world grew cold. six months, eight weeks, and four days since the gate blew open and effectively ended the world as they knew it.
six months, eight weeks, and four days since billy almost died in a pool of black sludge on the grimy linoleum floors of starcourt mall.
he’s doing better. most of his wounds were shallow, save for the few that went deep enough to nearly take his life. but doc owens had a house full of supplies to suture billy up like frankenstein.
even after owens deemed him fit for travel, they stayed there for a while. billy and the rest of the party. holed up in owens’ house, trying to figure out just how they could possibly ride this out.
two weeks into their stay, they came late at night. the demo-dogs, a whole swarm of them. the group defended the house as best as they could, but it was a lost cause. they were out on the open road by the what used to be considered sunrise.
time has ceased to have any real meaning anymore, if they’re being honest. there’s no morning or night, just darkness and a cold that seeps deep into their bones and refuses to go away.
the line between the two dimensions has been all but erased. the upside down has consumed their world; swarms of demo-dogs prowl the frozen wasteland, the mind flayer takes more and more people for its army each day.
they keep running. from city to city, state to state, just barely escaping the mind flayer’s grasp each time.
the kids don’t smile much these days. el is tired more often than not, weakened and drained from the constant use of her gifts. joyce doesn’t have many soft, kind words to lend out anymore. hopper has distanced himself from everyone, both physically and emotionally. standing guard and pacing around in the night on the fringes of wherever they’ve made camp.
and steve. steve doesn’t smile softly anymore, doesn’t make his goofy jokes or try to cheer the kids up. he just grips onto his bat, wound tight and always at the ready, constantly on high alert.
billy is surprised, given his near-death experience, that he’s actually not the most fucked up person in this broken group. he supposes he was built more for a world like this than most. he’d hardened himself to the world they knew Before. this one just seems to make more sense for someone like him.
violence has run in his blood since he’d exited the womb. fighting monsters and suffering from hunger and exhaustion and living in a world devoid of warmth and happiness apparently just comes naturally to him.
that isn’t to say that billy doesn’t have a lot of regrets. he regrets not telling max that he loved her more, Before. it feels odd to say it now, like maybe he’d only be saying it because they could die at any given moment.
he regrets not going back to california to see his mom when he had the chance. he regrets being cruel to the kids he now spends every waking moment protecting. he regrets convincing himself to waste his time with someone like karen wheeler, something he only did to bury the ugly truth about himself and his desires.
billy certainly regrets not being kinder with steve.
it’d be easier, if he had. it’d be easier to tell steve now that he loves him. it’s another situation where it just seems forced, like he’s only deciding this now when there’s no one left to choose from.
that could never be the case, but billy can’t see steve thinking otherwise. it’s just. billy didn’t let himself feel it for so long. his love for steve crept up on him, from the moment they first met. there was just something about him. and the more his feelings grew, the more afraid he became. the more he lashed out and repressed how he felt.
it feels like a lost cause now. but billy doesn’t quite think things like that carry the weight of any real importance, not anymore. not when they have to fight every day just to stay alive. so, he focuses on that. on finding food, water, shelter. on protecting the party, one day at a time.
billy has had to do a lot of protecting today. they had to pull up stakes at their last camp, another demo-dog pack blowing through. they lost a lot of stuff in the process - food and water, mostly. the demo-dogs seem to learn rather quickly what items to destroy along with the people.
they drove for nearly three days before finding a dilapidated motel in a small nebraskan town. billy, steve, and nancy help hopper do a sweep and clear out any demo-dogs hiding in the shadows. they set up a perimeter not long after.
hopper takes billy and steve on a run into town for supplies. it’s been nearly picked clean by either other survivors, or demo-dogs. they’re still prowling the streets when they arrive.
needless to say, it doesn’t go very well.
billy has to see doc owens immediately upon their return; his arm was nearly shredded by a particularly nasty dog. steve had sprung in at the last moment, beating the ugly bastard off of billy with his bat. now, steve nearly paces a hole in the floor while owens works on stitching billy up.
he doesn’t know why steve is so wound up tonight. they got enough supplies to satiate the whole group, especially the kids. it was a good run.
they’re sharing a room at the motel. no one sleeps alone - it’s one of their cardinal rules. billy heads to it after they eat. steve follows after him and slams the door shut so hard it rattles on its hinges.
“the fuck, harrington?” billy hisses, sitting up in alarm. “you trying to bring a pack of dogs down on us like it’s fuckin’ judgment day?”
“you almost died again.” it’s said with an air of finality. like billy should’ve already known the cause of steve’s upset.
“that’s life now, pretty boy,” billy sighs, rubbing his sleep-deprived eyes. “you really should learn how to get used to that.”
steve cuts him a glare. “you don’t fucking get it, do you?”
there’s obviously something that billy is missing here. he doesn’t quite understand what steve is so bent out of shape about.
“obviously not,” billy says, standing and moving to slip his shirt off before climbing into bed.
he doesn’t quite make it back into the bed. steve marches over and grabs his arm, stopping him before he has the chance.
“i can’t - i can’t lose you too,” steve tells him, his voice breaking. “i can’t watch you die. i won’t. the thought of you not being here, losing you, it just. scares the fuck out of me.”
billy swallows around the lump that has mysteriously formed in his throat. he doesn’t brush steve off when his hand slides down his arm, until it can grasp billy’s and tangle their fingers together. he’s pretty sure he stops breathing, though.
“you won’t,” he says, finally. “who else would keep your pretty ass out of trouble?”
“billy, i’m serious. you can’t keep putting yourself in danger like that. like you did today,” steve begs, squeezing his hand tight.
“that dog would’ve killed you if i hadn’t.”
“yeah, but it almost killed you!” steve cries, releasing billy’s hand to throw his up in exasperation.
“oh, what, so i’m supposed to let you die and just protect myself instead?” billy snaps, his voice raising an octave. “fuck off with that shit. you think you can’t handle a world without me in it? how the fuck do you think i’d feel if i lost you? you ever fuckin’ consider that?”
he’s borderline shouting now, and steve slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with surprise. billy peels his hand off, taking a steady breath. laces their fingers together again.
“there’s never going to be a time where i don’t pick your life over mine,” billy tells him. “better get used to that, too.”
steve takes a deep breath of his own. he searches billy’s eyes, before squeezing his shut and leaning in. he rests his forehead against billy’s, just breathing together for a moment.
“i’m sorry,” steve says quietly, breaking the silence that has fallen between them.
“for what?” billy questions, his brows furrowing.
“for not doing this sooner.”
steve pulls him in and seals their mouths together. billy emits a soft noise of surprise, his eyes flying open. he feels frozen, like he’s not quite sure if this is really happening or not. but when steve starts to pull away, billy’s brain comes back online.
he yanks steve in closer, kissing him with every last bit of energy he has, and then some. steve’s hand leaves his, only for both of them to grasp onto billy’s shirt, fingers curling into the material. billy cradles steve’s face in his hands, holding him like he’s precious.
he kinda is, if billy hasn’t made that abundantly clear yet.
“i’m so fucking in love with you,” steve breathes when they break apart. “god, i can’t believe i haven’t said that until now. you’ve almost died like, five hundred times and i’ve never told you the most important thing that i could ever possibly say to anyone ever and -”
billy cuts him off, giving steve another kiss, this one warm and gentle. “it’s okay. i - yeah. i love you too. didn’t ever say it either.”
“guess that makes us both idiots.”
billy smiles running his fingers through steve’s hair. it’s long beyond reason, which is both sexy and dangerous.
“we need to cut this soon,” billy comments. “god forbid something grabs onto this damn mop while we’re out on a run.”
“i’ll let you cut mine if you let me trim your beard. it’s getting a little mangy,” steve offers, then makes a face. “god. is this what intimacy is in the apocalypse? cutting each other’s hair?”
billy snickers softly. “i think i have a few better ideas.”
“oh yeah? like what?”
taking steve’s hand, billy pulls him towards the bed farthest from the door, smiling softly. “i think it’d be better if i just showed you.”
steve pauses. and then, “oh, you mean right now?”
billy plops down on the mattress, reclining back on his elbows. he arches a brow. “what, you got somewhere to be, pretty boy?”
there’s only a split-second pause before steve is scrambling to straddle billy’s hips. steve smiles down at him, leaning down to kiss the tip of billy’s nose.
“nowhere but here, sweetheart.”
send me a number + a pairing!
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babieleeknow · 4 years
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4:41pm | ksm
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What do you do when your best friend doesn’t seem like your best friend anymore? What’s the protocol when instead of hysterical laughs and smiles, all you get are dismissive words and rolled eyes?
That’s all that was running through your head the whole school day. You feel like you’re going crazy; half of the time she’s treating you like normal and you’re having fun, the other half of the time she acts like just your very presence is a burden. You don’t know what happened, why she’s treating you like this. Is it your fault? You don’t know. You know that you need to have a conversation with her, but you’re so afraid that you’re making a big deal out of nothing that you’ve been postponing it for months now.
When you got home from your extremely emotionally-draining day of school, all you wanted to do was fall on your bed and go to sleep, maybe cry a little bit too. But it seemed as if the universe had other plans, because as soon as your head touched the pillow, your phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, baby!” You couldn’t help the tired grin that crossed your face at Seungmin’s voice, “What are you doing right now? I was thinking we could go for a drive or something?”
You sighed, closing your eyes and turning to your side to allow the phone to balance on the side of your face, “I don’t know, Seungmin. I don’t really feel up to it today.”
Seungmin could tell instantly by your tone that something was wrong, “Okay, no worries. How about I come over instead and we can cuddle?”
For some reason his words had you choked up, “Yes, I’d like that.” You whispered thickly, blinking rapidly.
“Okay, I’ll be over in ten!”
When Seungmin got to your house, he found you in your bed, buried under all your blankets and pillows, staring blankly at the ceiling. He instantly got under the covers with you, pulling you to his chest, “Do you want to talk about it?” He mumbled, pressing his lips to your hair.
You swallowed, “It- it’s Charlotte. The way she’s been talking to me lately has really been hurting my feelings, and I don’t know what to do about it.” As much as you tried to suppress the tears, they began to roll down your cheeks as your breath got caught in your throat, “I feel like it’s my fault. Or maybe it’s her. I don’t know what’s going on, Min, but it’s really beginning to take a toll on me. Maybe it’s because we’ve been friends for so long; maybe we’re just different people now. But I don’t want to lose her.” You forcefully brought your hands to your cheeks, wiping away your tears only for them to be replaced by new ones a moment later.
Seungmin sighed softly, sitting the two of you up. He cupped your cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears as they fell, “Y/N, whatever you think, I need you to know that it’s not your fault. Even if you’re partially to blame, you’re not the only one in this friendship, and you both need to be responsible and put in effort in order to make this work.” He pulled you closer to press a kiss to your forehead, “It sounds to me like you’re putting more effort in than her right now. I don’t know why she’s being like this. And you can talk to her about it tomorrow,” You opened your mouth to protest, but he shushed you, “I know it’s hard to have that conversation. But it’s the only way you’ll be able to find out what’s going on and resolve it. Maybe your friendship has run its course, and there is nothing that you can do about that. It sucks, it’s the worst thing in the world, but it’s something you have to come to terms with. But no more thinking of that today! Let’s take a nap, and then we can go for a night drive whenever we wake up. We can get some comfort food, too.”
With that, Seungmin pulled you down to lay on top of him, and the room filled with silence, only broken by your occasional sniffle. While you still weren’t feeling completely brave enough to face this dilemma head-on, you knew that when you did take the leap, Seungmin would be there to support you every step of the way.
With that thought in your mind, you allowed yourself to drift off, the sound of Seungmin’s heartbeat lulling you to sleep.
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will probably delete this. not feeling the best and needed to vent. sorry people.
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