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fantomette22 · 1 year

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Alright let’s chat!! *pours tea*

What are your ideas on who Rom was and where she came from? Who was she mostly connected to? What was she like? <3

Alright it's time !! drink tea

I can talk about the Byrgenwerth girl yeah !! (finally lol) Sorry I have lot of thoughts but also I feel I'm still missing a few things XD sorry in advance if that doesn't made any sense or if it's too long.

Ok so let's go with my main/fic interpret it will be way easier. So Rom, probably a nickname of Roma but I really like CosmicTeaCat and OfSilentThings idea that it could came from Andromeda as well (it would made sense). And she's basically Willem biological daughter. So she's been around Byrgenwerth since like forever I guess XD but maybe there's a connection/ she had family at the hamlet (you know the one 👀) idk.

Still not fully sure if she have brown/black hair so basically curly dark hair. Got glasses and her eyes are either hm green-blue? idk whatever is generally the color of a lake is pick your color between brown-green and dark blue.

And hm I'm not sure ho to talk about it I know it can be a sensible subject but it's import for me as well. In my story she's autistic or got some sorts of disability at least. (I mean, there's at least 3 other characters I hc on the spectrum XD) but Rom is more in the middle of the spectrum. She's not "Asperger"/ high potential autistic (sorry I'm not familiar with the English terms). It's in the more "moderate/lower side" of it, with much more difficulties. I mean she can talk and all, she can be a bit autonomous and don't have to be with someone 24h/24 for ex. She probably managed to talk correclty really late too but hey it's totally fine ! And she became way more autonomous while growing up. There's thing and subject she excels and do really greatly but she need the right accompaniment for it and there's thing she really can't comprehend or do by herself without someone explaining first. She probably won't have a proper doctorate or a master degree but she still managed to have a licence/baccalaureate (+3/technician level, after many hard years of works) And you can't let her all alone in the middle of Yharnam and except her to be fully autonomous for exemple O_O' and similar to Caryll she need really calm environment.She's doing quite fine really it just smt you can feel she can be really out of the norm as well. I really have no idea if I did that on purpose or not, it just feel natural to me? Crazy how your own life & experience inspire you don't you think? Yes I think i heavily based her on my own little brother as well it's bit different too, yet it's the similar we'll say.

I love the interpretation where she's a super smart scholars but also really like the ones where Rom could be just a disable child that Byrgenwerth decided to turned into a great one ?! (I did a weird mixt of both ideas I guess)

She absolutely loves/hyperfixate on arthropods and gastropod ! And everything that came in between the nematodes and the chordata fishes (you know the ancestor of our spine) and in the Eucaryote/Metazoan side of the phylogenitc tree ! (I'm so sorry I think I just lost everyone who never did biodiversity in biology at the university XD). In short everything from worms, medusa, sponge, arthropods, gastropods, (to the simpler type of fish).

(you basically have the mushroom, yeast/levures? and plants before the metazoan. The chordata gave everything from the fish to us : mammals, marsupials, reptiles, birds, amphibians...) Hope it help 🫡 hey you know all this classification first appeared in the 17th-18th century too? :D

Anyway all of this to say she loves and is not afraid of spiders & augurs at all. 🕷️🐌

When there's big spiders everyone came find her to help them . She moves it somewhere else. And the day Gehrman and the prospectors bring back a giant spider from the labyrinth and she could come really close to it/touch it it was the best day of her life XD

She also loves the sea/ocean and the night sky, stars and plants ! She know many things about all of this too.

After the separation Byrgenwerth/Church the scholars still kinda worked a bit with the church idk it's complicated. She ended working at the research hall, mostly with Caryll, Adeline & Maria when they looked for Isz but also with Mico afterwards before going more in separate ways and end up with the choir a huge while (before ultimately returning to Byrgenwerth maybe, idk if returning at Byrgen as a spider count XD). She became the "leader" of the Choir after Caryll (I guess Laurence is the actual true leader but he's like the big boss above the choir and religious/priest/saints). She's also the first one to become a successful lumen wood kin. You know this :

(imagined with super choir clothes)

And years after /probably after the beginning of the hunter's dream more experiments were done, she might have re work a lot with Byrgen too. She went to lower pthumeru with her team (young scholars she took care of too probably)... and they turned into spiders.

Vacuous spider, that title came after she turned into a kin. They asked her question about the cosmos, they thought she had ascend ! But she couldn't really answered... she was just 😐 well vacuous but hey she did save Yharnam from the apocalypse thanks to to veil of the blood moon. Because after they summon MP every month they were a blood moon and without the veil. Yharnam would have fallen in a few years/months instead of +2 decades later (when the hunter arrive) So during the Mensis ritual, that spiraled out of control she block everything. Her physical body died (altar in ebrietas arena but here spirits lived on in the lake!)

Connection with others :

Well Willem is basically her dad. I think he tried his best but he also work a lot and it could be complicated with Rom like I said before because of her condition. (As someone who grew up knowing people with a disability it's not always easy we'll say but they managed to found a balance in the end!) He always tried to include her where she could. When she was really little and when he was on his famous rocking chair looking at the lake he had her on his knees and he told her/teach her all kind of things.

So hm to not help thing her mom passed away when she was little. I haven't 100% decide yet. In my story, 15y before the squad meet at Byrgenwerth they were a huge epidemic and it kill at least one person (if not more) close to every characters. Rom, Maria, Mico Ludwig, etc were like 5-6y old or smt? maybe a bit older. But perhaps her mother died even before that. A scholar too probably.

Laurence was kinda adopted by Willem after his parents (who were friends with the provost) passed away because of this same epidemic. He's like 6 years older or smt? compared to Rom (and the others lil students). So they're quite chill around each others. It's not the ultimate sibling besties but they're kind around one another.

So Micolash now! He got bring back to Willem too XD but way after Laurence. When he was a teen maybe. They were really great friends at Byrgen (pre-healing church) and passed lot of time together + with Damian as well. The 2 boys decided to be there to hemp Rom. Mico and Rom were really, really close at some point. I am not entirely sure in which measure and sense but...you can guess. I mean there's smt sure but I'm still hesitating right now if he saw her as family or probably smt more. (Maybe they got in a relationship too! But parted ways at some point... you know it's complicated)

Caryll and Rom understand each other on a spiritual lvl at times XD sometimes they don't even need to talk to each other. It feel like they share a brain/braincells. So don't let them work alone unsupervised doing labs together they will have no idea what they were supposed to be after 10mins of daydreaming 😂. They got better the years after. I promised they worked well at the Research Hall XD

She was good friends with Maria too. They both share common interest and Maria is super kind too. they love talking about stars, nature and science and like each other calm presence. I mean depends if you include Caryll but they're the 2 girls of the original Byrgenwerth squad too! Oh and I forgot but one day Maria bring her back a hateful maggot (dead) from the forest. Rom loves it of course.

And Rom & Adeline are such a probably hilarious pair as well XD

Ludwig is really chilled too so idk they could vibe.

Others : Of course the staff at Byrgenwerth really like her. Dores actively tried to act the more nicely (&protectively) possible around Rom. She like really feral around everyone and show a more softer sides really occasionally to the person close to her so that tell a lot.

Of course Liam( gatekeeper) and Gehrman, really find her sweet too and I haven't much ideas of for now but I guess there's quite a few subject she could talk with the groundskeeper.

I mean even Patches (who secretly hate everyone lol) find Rom really useful to take care of spiders and insects he is supposed to remove (yes he just clean the school at the beginning then managed to become scholars & prospectors lol. And he even joined Rom team in the chalice expedition and research a few times)

Choir/orphanage : she was in charge for a while so she knew many scholars/choir member / some church members but especially the children who grew up in the orphanage : Amelia, Edgar, Iosefka, Imposter Iosefka?! (maybe??), Yurie etc She passed a lot of time with them and teach them many things. (So that would explain why Yurie would protect her!!) ("She tried to protect them from Mico bad influence and Mensis too)

Ok Kos. Or say Kosm I'm not entirely sure but there's quite a big connection at some point. I mean Kos gives eyes to Rom after all. She probably had lot of research on Kos too and was possibly devastated when they found Kos dead at the Hamlet. + I guess loosing a child/ mother made them closer too so rom might had managed to communicate/connect with great one and Kos accepted her.

OMG i almost forgot the most important ! EBRIETAS ! She passed lot of times with Ebrietas they were really close !! Maybe Rom even understand her ! (language wise) and I mean Ebrietas literally mourn her and seems to wait for her indefinitely. Did she consider Rom like a sister after she turned into a kin ? Gasp or even her girlfriend/wife ! Who knows ! (sorry I find it funny and so angsty at the same time.)

And I'm going to stop here I think 😅 Hope you enjoyed ! Thank you for finally allowed me to talk about it.

So yeah love the potato kin spider ! ❤️

#bloodborne #bloodborne headcanons #rom the vacuous spider #part 1 : a scholar’s dream #hey I got the best marks in biodiversity lmao if I didn't went in geology I would have done this or evolution/paleo #I'm so sorry for the bio lesson too XD it was longer than expected but I need to talk about all of this #I hope I express myself correctly as well I knew autism & neurodiversity are really important for some persons and I can't write-#-everything in details and you will understand that I can't share all my personal life either #i don’t have much drawing with rom yet. ok i got the Christmas one too but that’s it xD #Yharnam's communion #my asks

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colorfullpaperbird · 3 months

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Characters in Ace attorney that i believe are aware of fanfiction✨ ( and fandom )

Warning i haven’t played all the games yet, in fact my apollo justice trilogy is crashing every time i try to open it, so all the characters from after aa3 are based on fandom osmosis

Miles Edgeworth - writes Steel Samurai fanfiction on ao3 and has been doing it for some time now (the living embodiment of the ao3 writers curse) would rather die than anyone finding that out tho, doesn’t have a lot of free time so only posts once in like 3-4 months, fics are pretty good and distinct since he writes them with so much formality, so he is relatively popular in some fandom spaces;

Maya Fey- fanfiction reader only, runs an account on Tumblr for Steel Samurai news and fanwork, famous in the fandom and runs a discord server, one of those people that lowkey have their own fandom mostly bc of the insane revelations she drops about her own life from time to time ( “ lmao guys sorry for being absent but i got accused of murder for the 4th time and that really sucked ANYWAYS did you guys look at the leaks for the new reboot… “ ) Shes also way too open about herself on the internet;

Simon Blackquill: Sasuke fan ( derogatory ) also steel samurai fan tho, dont think he goes out the way to read fanfiction ( i think if he did he would read them in fanfiction.net ) but its pretty funny to think hes edgeworths beta reader ( AN: sorry for the delay, unfortunate circumstances came to light that my beta reader was arrested and is now on death roll ) He ran an AMV account on youtube before going to prison;

Trucy Wright: Shes 16 and her only friends are her dads coworkers, she opened wattpad AT LEAST once, probably accidentally read one of those “got sold to one direction (gavinners)” fics and immediately closed the app;

Klavier Gavin: opened wattpad to see what type of fanfiction people were writing about him, he runs a secret fan account and shares fun facts about him and his bandmates as “hcs”, also pretty popular but most people hate him bc they believe his depiction of the gavinners is “too ooc”. He is actually pretty impressed by the quality of most of the works and alludes to their existence constantly in his main on twitter, the fans go insane everytime;

Franziska Von Karma: I don’t believe Franziska is a fanfiction reader nor is she into any fandom, i do however believe she has notifications turned on for Edgeworth’s ao3 account, he doesn’t know that of course, what a foolish fool to think he could hide such a thing from his big sister, she will sometimes quote his work back to him and find amusing seeing him freeze. He thinks its a coincidence because he is too secretive about his hobbies, he’s wrong, she’s been following him online since she was 13, that’s how she knew he wasn’t dead in JFA.

Extras: Phoenix is technologically illiterate, he couldn’t read fanfiction even if he wanted to. Apollo is way too normal for that, he has the law autism not the fandom one. Athena knows of fanfiction bc she is young and in the internet but she wasn’t very interested in it. If you ask Gumshoe about fanfiction he would give you a smile and say “Of course im a Fan of Fiction Pal!”. I do believe Pearl has wattpad but only reads original works on there, so in my opinion she doesn’t count.

Im sorry for any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #maya fey #simon blackquill #franziska von karma #trucy wright #klavier gavin

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itsaspectrumcomic · 3 months

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man ok idk if youll be able to advise on this or something but like. do you know anything regarding dealing with like internalised ableism?

i live in a rural part of ireland, right? and idk what it is about rural ireland but some of the people are heinous. my school is in a small miserable-ass town and like. God, man. not everyone sucks, of course but like. jesus lol additionally i have a ~mildly ableist~ mother (a "we're all a little bit autistic" and "erm. youre not disabled because youre not in a wheelchair or blind/deaf" etc etc type stuff. + "npd = bad person" which isnt particularly good for me specifically because i have npd (that i both Cant get an official diagnosis for, for various reasons, and im not really Looking for one either because i know what i am and its not like you get support for it because ~ooh scary narcissist~.)

and like. idk if this is Obvious but that can kinda cause a weird-ass relationship with You (being Me in this case, yk how it is with the second person perspective when. ranting) and The Concept Of Being Disabled. like, objectively. im disabled. im autistic, ive definitely got adhd (that im hopefully going to get examined for at some point cause college stuff requires it for the disability forums and stuff. gotta love that. fuckin 80% comorbidity right?), ive got a laughable number of repetative strain injuries, i have a sensory processing disorder, an endocrine disease that effects my Entire cardiovascular system, a spine that felt a lil quirky and bent in too much. so on a so forth

but also like. it feels wrong to call myself disabled. yk, like im doing a disservice to all the other ~actually~ disabled people (being Anyone but me lol) (none of this is At All helped by the fact that my mother refuses to listen to me regarding Jack Shit about my health in Any way. "oh you nearly passed out on top of a hill because of your cardiovascular condition? erm youre just not exercising enough actually" "you dont have depression [said while i was filling out an assigned mood diary after being forcefully brought to camhs for Reasons" like. shut the fuck up and Listen to me please. at least Entertain the idea that i could be right about something for fucking once lmao. cause ive been right about EVERYTHING regarding my mental health so fucking far so. fuck off /nay ofc) (also man. like, even if you ignored the physical issues ive got im still disabled on account of being autistic. like, motor function is fine, despite being a lil clumsy and/or unsteady sometimes but like. my emotional needs are Fucked. think of the response youd get if you asked a. fuckin. 8 year old or something to do algebra. but with a very emotionally stunted and traumatised 17 year old lol. lmao, even /lh)

so like. if youve got. any advice or whatever on any of this thatd be Super cool + no pressure obvs. sorry this is a whole. like. fucking essay's worth of Random Guy Complaining To You On The Internet lol

-🐢 <- just so i can find this again if you respond. i Like Turtles. i am Normal about the tmnt and also turtles The Creatures. i wont talk at length about turtle mutant anatomy (i am deceiving you)

Internalised ableism is a really hard thing to deal with, especially when you're surrounded by people who constantly re-enforce it. I've also spent a lot of time worrying that I'm not disabled 'enough' to deserve certain accommodations, that I'm making an unnecessary fuss. But the truth is, autism IS a disability and if there are accommodations that can help support you, you deserve access to them. You're not taking away from others with disabilities by advocating for yourself.

It's taken me a long time to understand this and I still worry sometimes. What has helped is talking about my experiences with people I know understand, like my therapist or best friend, and learning about the experiences of other autistic people through books, social media, YouTube and even real life.

I'm sorry your mother and others aren't being understanding - remember that's a them problem, not you, and try to spend your time with people who do understand.

🐢🐢🐢 <- the turtles wish you luck

#🐢#ask #anon ask #autism #actually autistic #advice #autistic #autism is a disability #its a spectrum #long post

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pokemenlovingmen · 1 year

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A mlm pokeimagines blog? In this economy? God where have you been all my life.

Apologies in advance if its a long ask lol

Seriously though you would not believe how happy I got when I saw this blog pop up! Barely any mlm reader stuff so finding you got my lil poke men loving heart all excited!

If requests are open I was wondering if you could do Emmets reaction to a male reader who loves the fact that Emmet is so blunt? I've seen some stuff like this in the past were reader loves Emmet DESPITE him being so blunt but I love him because of it!! I find it useful and charming!! I have a hard time understanding most people because I'm bad at picking up subtext and stuff in conversation so characters like Emmet that are just blunt and honest are always appreciated!

Also, claiming 🐗 boar anon in advance lol

Hi hi boar anon!!! I’m glad you like my blog so much! I literally made it bc I couldn’t find enough male reader content, and as a trans guy that gendered language is really affirming to me. Also not being courageous enough to get into a relationship with real human people lmao I gotta be gay somehow!! Literally all of you who’ve come to visit me on this blog are so sweet. I changed the blog description up for a reason, it really does feel like I’ve invited a bunch of funny gay guys into my living room and we’re all sitting in a circle whispering about boys. Doing this makes me feel so stupidly comfortable in my own skin and so much like a part of the LGBT community when I’ve had to stand on the sidelines most of my life, I just can’t explain how stupidly therapeutic writing imagines for fictional men from a fictional monster battling game is LMFAOOO

And we’re always here for supporting the autism shit lol, you can pry my autistic submas out of my cold dead hands, my submas will always be pretty heavily headcanoned and a post appreciating those verrry autistic coded traits is a huge win for me :) Emmet deserves to be loved for just being Emmet

Straight (Gay) to the Point— Emmet x Male Reader

⚪️ — Emmet and Ingo have grown up with a lot to be self conscious about, from their appearances to the behavioral quirks they share and the quirks they don’t. Kids can be cruel when you’re neurodivergent so different. So when you get together with Emmet and he comes to realize you LIKE his speaking patterns, he’s floored.

⚪️ — Emmet has always had a lot to say, but he’s quite bad at phrasing things. Compared to his brother who is a constant stream of consciousness, just prattling on about anything and everything that crosses his mind once you get him into conversation, Emmet needs to carefully plan out each word and it never comes out how he wants. Sometimes it feels like with his more approachable appearance (even if some call it creepy) and Ingo’s ability to talk (even if some say he rambles too much), they’re just two halves of one fully functional person. But you like him. Not his brother. Not him and his brother. You like him. How crazy is that?

⚪️ — He doesn’t have time to waste on careful wording. Do that, and he’d be plotting his course of conversation for ages. And he’s rather aware of that fact, so one day, he offhandedly mentions that he’s sorry his bluntness can be so off-putting, and he really hopes he hasn’t said anything to offend you.

⚪️ — Imagine his surprise when you said the contrary! When he heard you liked him because he said exactly what he meant, and he was always so clear-cut and easy to understand, it was like a fuse blew in him. Growing up, he’d always heard the opposite, and while Ingo never criticized him for it, plenty of other people did call him out for being rude when he didn’t mean to be.

⚪️ — He feels verrrry comfortable in conversation with you, yes indeed. Your sense of communication with one another is very strong and any conflict gets resolved very quickly. Emmet is happy to just talk with you and not have to pretend to have conversational skills he doesn’t have. You like him, his brother likes him, that’s all that matters.

⚪️ — He wants to talk with challengers on the Battle Subway more freely, so he’ll often come to you about the best ways to translate the things he wants to say into more “socially acceptable” ways of saying them. Of course, he’s also fully aware that he can come to you and not need to jump through all those hoops.

⚪️ — Since he’s so comfortable with you, he’ll say just about anything to you or around you and knows he can say things to you that will make you laugh, while others would just shush him for it.

⚪️ — After all, nothing makes you laugh quite as hard as sitting on your bed only to hear “OH DEAR! THE GALVANTULAS ARE MATING ON THE SOFA!” from across the apartment. Like cool Emmet, you definitely did NOT need to hear that—also please make them stop??—but that got the best laugh out of you you’ve had in a while.

⚪️ — He’s genuinely just so funny without trying. Another iconic moment you can recall is when, on a Friday night, a particularly inebriated woman was getting a bit too comfy with Emmet, which he was oblivious to at first, too preoccupied with the joy of battling. When you did tell him, though, you ended up laughing your ass off as he gasped and ran off with great urgency to apologize to the woman, as he was unable to reciprocate her advances due to both being taken and, I quote, “a homosexual”.

⚪️ — You’ve definitely made him a lot more comfortable, even in public situations, which he doesn’t seem to realize. The Battle Subway staff has regularly mentioned Boss Emmet has been way chattier than he used to be (which still doesn’t mean anything dramatic, but it’s a big step to him and that’s all it needs to be!) And anyone who has a problem with Emmet’s mannerisms can answer to you.

⚪️ — You’re more than just Emmet’s boyfriend, you gel perfectly into his family. And granted, that family is only Ingo, both of their Pokemon teams and Elesa ever since she basically adopted them, but it’s perfect anyway. It’s not like Emmet has been telling his brother about how much he wants to marry you eventually or anything.

⚪️ — You have literally so many Joltik grandchildren already.

⚪️ — Since both of you can struggle with reading other people, you often put your heads together to try and figure things out. (If it’s anything like the attempts at two neurodivergent people trying to use their combined knowledge to socially navigate that I’ve been a part of, it probably accomplishes nothing, but at least you can both relate to each other’s struggles and have a good laugh about it at the end of the day.)

⚪️ — He acts like a little kid with a crush around you and when he’s not working, he follows you around like a lost puppy.

⚪️ — He also knows that when he’s specifically feeling insecure about his mannerisms, he can lean on you for comfort, because you unashamedly love that about him. All of it. One night, after a particularly rough day, you remember him cuddling up to you and getting teary-eyed about how much you love him.

⚪️ — Please stay in his life, okay?

#pokemon x reader #emmet x male reader #emmet x reader #submas x reader #pokemon male reader #🐗

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aslongasimhereyoureinvincible · 10 months

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what are your neurodivergent headcanons for hq characters?

asdfjhgfds sorry this has been in my askbox for a few days ive been busy w/ Life Stuff TM but anyways ND haikyuu headcanons lets gooo

hinata:

ik bc hes Sunshiney and Loud lots of ppl read hinata as adhd, which i can deffo see, but personally i read him as autistic

hes extroverted and good at adopting introverts (kageyama, kenma, yachi, tsukki) but when u stop to think abt it hes also actually kinda bad at social ques and 'normal' behaviour?? i think ppl dont notice bc hes also rlly nice but hinata is actually pretty blunt lmao

his special interest is literally volleyball cmon now

its canon that he dislikes being in classes too long or doing homework bc he finds sitting still for too long difficult, both me and my autistic older brother used to get up and pace around our classrooms when we were younger

even though hes rlly athletic and has insane reflexes obviously, hes also pretty clusmy and especially bad at judging distances which to me looks like dyspraxia which is really commonly comorbid w/ autism

ive also read a few fics where he has tourettes syndrome w/ body tic and i can deffo see why ppl would hc that

idk hes just reads as autistic so well in my mind like idk why its not a more common take

kageyama:

this one is less of a headcanon and moreso just interpreting the text correctly; hes definitely autistic

like its my belief that furudate either knowingly wrote kageyama as autistic or like based his personality off of an irl autistic person they knew or SOMETHING bc its actually insane how well he reads as autistic

the lack of social skills? the anger issues? the deep special interest in volleyball? the just wanting to express your feelings/opinions but coming off as rude but not knowing how to fix that? middle school being a living hell? having that one family member who Got you? the high level of skill in one particular area? hes literally the texboox definition of autism

even the little things like how he files his nails and jokes go over his head and he accidentally insults ppl bc hes calling it how he sees it and how he basically had no friends growing up bc he was too focused on volleyball and how he struggles to smile on command like!!! thats autism babe!!!!!!

oh also hes dyslexic bc im dyslexic and i say so

ushijima:

same as kageyama i bet he was either knowing written as autistic or based off of an irl person who is

blunt as all hell, monotone voice and facial expressions, volleyball as a special interest, bad at social interaction, accidentally rude, the list goes on and on

like his whole thing about how his left handedness makes him different but is also a gift that benefits him in some ways? thats a metaphor for neurodivergency dont @ me

oikawa:

i hc him as having narcisstic personality disorder, not in the ableist reddit-user 'all ppl w/ npd are evil manipulative abusers' way but in the ' i have npd and know what it actually looks like' way

hiding massive insecurities by acting like youre amazing?? that fuckin marina lyric thats like 'i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best'?? that was abt oikawa tooru and npd

feeling threatened the second someone as good or better than you shows up? fixating on one specific thing that you have to be the best at? those are npd as fuck traits

the way he can basically get along with anyone and adjust his play style to suit them but only has a few close friendships where he can let his true personality rlly shine through

hes literally so npd coded augh <3

bokuto:

i read him as adhd and having cyclothymia

i think he was unmedicated in high school and unknowingly had depressive and hypomanic episodes which affected his play

he also very much reads as having rejection sensitive dysphoria if u ask me

and the way he talks and bounces around and has All That Damn Energy gives me adhd vibes, esp pared w/ his poor volume control ad the way he ignores social cues lol

okay quickfire round bc im getting tired of typing

atsumu is autistic, so is osamu for that matter, theyre just at very different points on the spectrum and rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time bc of it

kita is also autistic bc no neurodivergent person is that particular about doing things the 'right' way

hoshiumi is autistic and adhd

asahi and yamaguchi read like they struggled w/ anxiety and depression

sakusa has ocpd and ocd (contamination ocd specifically) and mysophobia

kyoutani has aspd, again not in a 'aspd = violent agressive psychopaths' way but in a 'i actually have a cluster b personality disorder' way, and adhd also

kenma is autistic and has social anxiety

yachi has social anxiety too bc cmon now

tsukki reads to me as having chronic depression, i think i could also make a case for him being autistic too ngl

tendou is some flavour of neurodivergent, probally audhd, probably some other stuff, idk but hes definitely not neurotypical

like hinata, lev reads as autistic to me even tho hes got that goodball energy thatd make lots of ppl read him as adhd bc like,, he just fuckin sucks at social interaction like he is accidentally rude all the damn time lmaoo

fukunaga and aone are both autistic w/ selective mutism and/or partial to moderate non-verbalness

obviously its none of my business and i think having headcanons abt irl ppl is Fucking Weird but i wouldnt be surprised if furudate themself was autistic bc truly so many characters in haikyuu can be read that way if u ask me, although maybe im just projecting lol

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #q and hey hey hey!#tumblr: akiraetzchen #og post //#theres prolly more im missing but these r off the top of my head #obvi theyre just hcs tho ppl are free to have different interpretations #except kageyama being autistic. i KNOW im correct abt that one.#also i promise this blog isnt dead i do still love haikyuu v much im just also super obsessed w/ bluelock rn

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fandom-kiddo · 1 year

Note

Hello! I was wondering if you could write some headcanons for Cg! Grabber, from black phone, x Little!reader please? Just like how he'd take care of them and act with them and stuff like that. That's all have a great day💜

Hi!!! I know this took a while!!! But it’s finally here! I hope you like it! Sorry if it’s short!

CW: slight mention of kidnapping, aggressive dog that isn’t really depicted as aggressive, gn!reader

CG!GRABBER X LITTLE! READER HCS

-at first when he first got you, you were terrified. Then, he let you be tiny and would get you toys and bottles and other little gear and you began warming up to him!

-Samson loves you and you get to snuggle up with the cane corso and play tug of war with him and fetch!

-when Samson accidentally bites you, Samson tries laying on your lap and kissing away your tears while your caregiver fixes up the little ouchie

-when the grabber knows you won’t run and the news has stopped covering your disappearance, he lets you play in his backyard with high wooden fences so you can still play outside!

--an amazing caregiver! Absolutely one of those cgs that would do anything for his little

-would play legos with you or color

-amazing at tag

-great for anxious littles! Can 100% be very soothing and sweet after a panic attack

-great for high energy littles as well too! He can be very hyper and energetic for his little one

-will hold you and rock you while your sleepy so he can help you sleep quicker

-great at calming you down after a nightmare

-would read you lots of bed time stories

“Please just oneeee moreeee?”

“Alright little one, but just one more mkay?”

-it’s never just one more, it will proceed till you fall asleep

-gives you a soda whenever you ask

-will chide lovingly if your a fussy eater, but will still make you a seperate meal if you don’t like what he made

-I thuroughly believe he would be a great cg for littles with autism, sensory overload? Will let you be alone or with him where everything’s quiet and your wrapped in for favorite outfit and blanket with your favorite stuffie!(ok a bit of projecting but)

-gentle but stern caregiver! Doesn’t often give punishments but if he does he usually has good reason!

-only lets his little see him without a mask, it took a while to be okay with it but if he really trusts you he’s okay not wearing the mask!

-spoils his little like no other! Toys, bottles, outfits, you name it! He wants his little one to have the best of everything!

-will let you play dress up and dress him up and have tea parties with you

-will play with action figures with you too if thats more your speed!

-fiercely protective of his little! He would probably be like a Karen mom if you got hurt at a play date or something lmao

-watches tv or vhs with you and says he won’t fall asleep and both of you are curled up and fall asleep within the first hour

#the grabber #the black phone #the black phone agere #little!reader #gn!reader #fandom-kiddo writes

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randomgooberness · 11 months

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This is in reference to the one post where Gordon gets all embarrassed for talkin like a kid (and maybe I missed something) But does Freemind sign "sorry", or say it out loud? I'm so curious if ya'll have a reason for how or why Mind signs, or the fact that Gordon can even UNDERSTAND it !!

(ask is referencing this post)

TYSM FOR THIS ASK! WE HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON IT LMAO. @shineyfish 's answer: MIND SIGNS IT HE LOVES LANGUAGES!!! there's lots of points in Freeman's Mind where he speaks in different languages or references shit to do with that so it's a big hc of mine that he knows how to speak a bunch of different languages. Can't have prior potentially talking shit about him, and you can't talk shit about him if he always knows what you're saying! Hilariously to me though is that he Canonically doesn't know Morse code. Sign language in particular I feel like he'd know because it's a language where you don't need to speak to use it. That's perfect for anything where you need to be silent, for example, being in Panama with your buddy Eddie and you don't want to get caught.

My answer:

From Gordons POV, in my headcanons, he grew up learning sign language because of his autism- it made it easier for him to communicate nonverbally, especially because he was mostly mute for the first few years of his life(to which when he was like 7 or 8 he switched to never shutting up LMAO). Gordon couldn't actually understand that specific moment where Mind signed, because he wasn't facing him and was moving, so he didn't really see it- just a bit of movement(hence why he's confused in the comic). However, there IS a scene that took place a day or so prior(in act 1, that comic is in early act 2) that had them using it. I shared a small screenshot of the scene because it was really funny to me, but Ace agreed to let me edit it up and post the full segment here! Have a treat :D

This takes place after they get outside for the first time and run from the airstrikes- and go into the vents with the skeleton and the sweet voice.

WARNING FOR: ableism(internalized and external) and (technically)self-harm

"It can't be THAT hard to fly a fuckin plane!"

Mind laughed, half joking with that as he moved forward.

It didn't take long until he was whining again.

"Why are so many people trying to kill me?? I'm awesome! Are they jealous?"

He didn't have enough bullets for all of them at the rate they were going at. The military should give peace a chance, or at least stand still.

"I'm calling dibs on the med station."

"Go ahead," Gordon chuckled. "Yeah, I think they're just jealous of you. They uh. They think the Science Team is too sexy to live." He wheezed.

"YES!"

Mind hooked himself up the the med station, silently begging the thing for what he wanted.

The med station, checking his vitals and seeing he wasn't mortally injured, did not give him any morphine.

"NO!"

He rested his head against the thing as it appropriately treated his more minor injuries. He didn't want to say he was getting desperate, because he wasn't, and if you thought that you were wrong, but... It was hard to be sober around this place.

He laughed joylessly.

"They've got it all wrong. We're actually too sexy to die."

"Exactly!" Gordon laughed, clapping his hands. "Let's uh, c'mon, Bubby I- dude what are you charging in the HEV suit station."

"My MP3 player." Bubby said.

"What?"

"Don't tell anyone~!"

"...Okay," Gordon wheezed. "Is that what's playing the Russian speaking?"

"The what?" Bubby looked...genuinely confused by that question. "No?"

"What speaking?" Dr. Coomer tilted his head. Gordon sighed.

"...Nothing. Let's move on."

Whatever the fuck Gordon was talking about, Mind was a little concerned about it. Being overly Paranoid that you're seeing things can be good when you need to look for enemies, but hearing things that aren't there? That could be a problem.

Whatever. It wasn't too much of a problem right now, and they still had hallways to go through for a second time. He never wants to look at a hallway ever again. His headache was a little worse, and now that the noise was muffled he had a ringing in his ears.

"Why do you get an MP3 player?? And why does the HEV station charge it??"

"I want to listen to my tunes," Bubby said. "The HEV station charges anything."

"I use it for my bionic body!" Dr. Coomer nodded.

Gordon rounded over to a vent nearby. From it, odd humming and whistling could be heard- alien sounding. Like the Sweet Voice. He pulled out his gun and headed inside. Mind heard it too, flinching.

"...No. no, it's dead, we watched the bitch get torn apart by the doors, there's no way it survived that. I'm either just imagining that, which is concerning, or mistaking the sound..."

He didn't seem to be talking to anyone, although kept his gun ready as he spoke.

If nothing could kill that- that thing, then... "We really are fucked."

"No...No, I'm hearing it too, man," Gordon muttered. He was shocked that this vent was big enough to stand in, and walked cautiously. "...Maybe there's more like him here? I mean, it's called the Black Mesa Sweet Voice- it might...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe it's friendly."

"I doubt that, if Mall-cop was anything to go off of, it'll be irritating at best."

Following close behind Gordon, gun at the ready, he could feel his heartbeat. Something about the mere thought of seeing that thing again sent a spike of fear through him.

"At worst? I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Gordon laughed. "I'm tryin' uh. To be an optimist. Sucks."

"That's the problem, optimism gets you nowhere in the long run. At some point, you need to cut your losses and start breaking shit."

"It sounds, friendly," Tommy spoke up.

"Oh, right- you can read it.” Gordon perked up, looking at the taller scientist. “What's it saying right now?"

"Umm..." Tommy tried to focus. "I-I dunno, I can't really tell without the- without the colors."

"Oh, okay. We'll see in a bit, then."

They rounded a corner, and Gordon noticed a figure.

"Wait for my word, do not shoot."

A flash from a camera behind them.

"Don't take pictures flash photography scares him."

They got a little closer, and the figure was still hard to see in the dark.

"...Hello?" Gordon called.

A small buzz emitted from it, and then a few lower ones, purple. Gordon got closer, and sucked air between his teeth when he noticed it was a fucking skeleton.

"...Do you know what that is?" He whispered to Tommy, who shrugged.

As they turned the corner, Mind kept his grip on his gun, assuming it to be an army recruit. He couldn't make out a weapon, but he wasn't taking any chances on that.

He didn't believe his eyes when he saw it properly.

Option one, he was hallucinating. This was bad for the obvious reasons, but he was skeptical on that because the others were clearly seeing it too.

Option two, there was a real, living, sweet voice using skeleton in front of him. This was almost worse, because it immediately made him worry about Benrey. He watched him die. Now he wasn't so sure.

Option three, group hysteria. He wasn't certain on this one.

"... I'm not seeing that. There is no way I am seeing that."

"...I think we are," Gordon stammered, eyes huge.

The skeleton made a few more noises, sort of like a guitar plucking.

"Stay back- stay back staaay back-" It was hard to tell if Gordon was talking to the skeleton, or to The Science Team. "...You guys have any ideas?"

"...I could always punch it," Dr. Coomer tilted his head, though he didn't seem so sure.

The skeleton whistled a few times, a soft, odd noise, before it made a honk noise.

"...Okay, on three, we rush it," Gordon muttered. "God, I'm scared-"

Tommy perked up.

"Wait, no!" He cried.

"What?! What?! Do you know what it is!?"

"That's green!" Tommy asserted.

"What does green mean!?"

"Green means he's not mean!"

"So-"

Gordon was interrupted by repeated whistling and buzzing, a flail of colors appearing.

"What does that mean-" He choked. "What is he saying?!"

And then, suddenly, the skeleton reached a high pitch that continued on and on, and it was deafening, bouncing against the metal of the vents they were in and stabbing into their ears.

Mind almost dropped his gun, rushing to cover his ears. Too LOUD. Too MUCH.

"SsHHHHUUTT UP SHUT UP, BE QUIET!!"

"OW- FUCK-!" Gordon yelped, now covering his own ears.

It hurt. It hurt. Mind felt like his brain was melting, and without thinking he started shooting blindly at the thing, eyes squeezed shut and ears awkwardly pressed between his free hand and his shoulder.

He needed this thing dead... Again.

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the current location they were in, and the gunshots only echoed in the vents alongside the creature. He really should have brought his earplugs to work, but they might not have done much for whatever fresh hell this was.

"JUST KILL IT I CANT HANDLE IT-!" Bubby screeched. Gordon, as if he were an attack dog, started bolting toward the thing with a shout- leading the way as the rest of the team followed.

The skeleton, who didn't react much to the bullets, started running as well.

Mind squinted his eyes open, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he did, and saw the group running. Unbearable physical pain be damned, he ran after them, not wanting to be left behind.

He needed to make sure that thing stopped existing, even if the process of doing so was going to make him want to commit atrocities... More than usual.

Bubby raced ahead of Gordon and took out- ...oh god that was an RPG.

Before anyone could say anything, the trigger was pulled, and a rocket blasted through the vents before exploding against the metal, sending a blast of heat and deafening ringing toward everyone.

...And, not only did it not break the vents they were in, but Gordon and the rest seemed to not even care, locked on their target.

Mind, who had uncovered his ears, deciding to just grin and bear it until the thing was dead, caught the full sound of the explosion.

In almost an instant his body decided enough was enough, and he screeched, falling to his knees and covering his ears, gun forgotten beside him. His palms were pressed hard enough to hurt, and he was almost certain that when he took them away, the imprint of the gloves would be on his face.

He didn't care. He just needed the ringing to stop.

He didn't even notice the tears falling until he took a breath, shaky and broken, and heard himself sob. What filled his chest at that was a red-hot shame. What kind of idiot couldn't handle a little bit of noise? Even at that, he didn't need to cry at it, he was being pathetic. He was sure of it, nobody else could see him like this.

The gunshots were muffled and distant, still ringing through the vents as they got further and further away- much louder than a scream, a loud, panicked conversation, and then a bit of talking.

The first thing Mind properly heard was footsteps and Gordon's voice.

"God, where is he- shit I hope he's okay-"

The large man turned the corner, and perked up, before racing over and sliding on his knees- he immediately put a hand on his shoulder.

"Woah- heyheyheyhey- are you alright!?"

Without thinking, Mind HISSED at the guy, immediately scratching and pushing the guy away. Space, he needed space, don't look at him-

"GGET THE- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

His voice is rough from sobbing, but there's a significant growl to it.

"IF YOU COME ANY- A-ANY CLOSER I WILL NOT HHHESITATE TO BITE YOU."

For a split second he looked Gordon in the eyes, and his own were full of fear. It wasn’t for long though, as he very quickly covered his face, scratching at his eyes with a screech in an attempt to make everything less.

"Woah-! Hey-" Gordon backed up, eyes huge.

He didn't know what to do here- granted, he barely understood what was going on, but he had a feeling this might be related to all the noise from earlier. He himself fucking hated it, but he went into a tunnel vision trying to kill the damn skeleton as a way to cope- and regretted it, because it meant he left Mind alone. Not to mention, his ears were still ringing.

He backed up a bit more, and sat down across from Mind, face twisted in worry.

"Hey, keep your- don't touch your face, man."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

There was too many people looking at him, he could feel it-

He hated these stupid gloves and their protective rubber, dragging them over his face just left a dull ache. If he didn't have them on he'd be able to be done with this, the sting from his nails usually tipped it over the edge for him and his stupid brain would start to calm down again. Sure, he normally had to hide the marks until they faded when he was at work, but it's the middle of an alien apocalypse, was he not allowed ONE source of relief in this hell?

After another attempt, he sobbed again, taking his hands down and looking at Gordon with a tear-streaked face. He looked tired. He felt tired. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Gordon frowned, shrinking a bit as he watched him.

He was a little scared, honestly- he didn't want this guy to suddenly snap and decide he was an enemy. He didn't...entirely trust anyone here, but that trust was building, at least a little.

He didn't know why he was starting to trust these people, despite how fucking stupid they all acted, or how mean to him they tended to be. He already sort of considered them friends, and hoped they could all still talk after all this was over.

Naturally, this was scary to see, because of that. But he decided friends should trust and support one another- that's what he heard all his life.

He swallowed, fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground.

"It's- you're alright, dude, we're. I dunno if we're safe right now but we're...you can breathe, I'm here, alright?"

Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure.

Mind felt weak. He felt so weak. Useless, pathetic, there was no way in hell these people will be able to look at him the same. He needs to get out of here.

As he tried to move though, he was shaking too much, that annoying tremble in his hands from earlier now a full-fledged tremor.

He only distantly heard Gordon's words but he laughed at it, hollow. What, did he think he needed help? Did he think he wasn't strong enough? He would have snapped back at him if the exhaustion wasn't so strong in him. Whatever. He took a deep breath, or tried to, curling in on himself.

"Hey- dude, please sit down- please?" Gordon put his hands out. "You're- you need to calm down, first, alright? Can you-" He paused, looking him up and down. "Auh, fuck, okay gimme a sec."

He paused, thinking- when he was little and had basically daily meltdowns, not long after he became verbal, one of his old teachers used to give him a cup of water so he'd be distracted and stop crying- he later used this technique on Josh all the time.

After a bit, he went through their collection from the vending machines and took out a bottle of water. He opened it and set it down in front of Mind.

The guy looked between the bottle and Gordon. Trying to think of any tricks, any ulterior motives, anything.

He came back with nothing. It registered as a discrepancy to him, why was there no trick to this?

Suspicious, he took the bottle, slowly raising it and taking a sip, eyes on Gordon practically the whole time.

Taking a sip felt gross in his mouth, and he cringed slightly, but drank a little more.

He didn't like admitting that it did make him feel better, and his brain was still shot with panic about what that was as he sat the bottle back down in between them.

Gordon didn't look at him very much- though the guy already avoided a lot of eye contact unless something stupid was said. He continued to play with his gloves a bit, nervous, and when the bottle was set down, he looked at Mind again, studying his breathing and making sure it was slower.

"...Are you able to talk?" He asked, softly.

Mind opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back at him, Yeah of course I can talk, I'm not a toddler.

... Only to find that he could not talk.

The shame was back, he hated this.

Shaking his head no, he brought his knees closer to his chest, practically death-staring Gordon. This is your fault, somehow.

"...Okay, that's fine- I-I go nonverbal sometimes, too," Gordon said. "Do you know sign language? Or would you rather, would you rather we have uh. Fuckin. Would you rather we have quiet time?"

Quiet time. Just hearing the words made Mind want to hurt someone. It felt childish, and he wasn't a child. He was just as damn capable as the rest of them, voice or not.

Luckily for him though, he did know sign language. Unluckily for everyone else, his hands still shook, and he was absolutely going to get snappy if he had to repeat himself.

"Sign."

Gordon perked up.

"Okay-! Great! That's- that's great, uh," He looked back over to the charred vent nearby, and then to Mind. "Do you need anything in particular right now? I-I'm uh, k-kinda scared to leave you alone, cause...I mean. Aliens." He gestured. "But if you want um, me to be quiet, or me to uh, talk? Or distract you? I-I can do that-"

Mind shifted, snapping his fingers.

"Shut up. Pay attention."

He took a second, and another sip from the water, before continuing.

"Don't like this any more than you do. I can still handle myself, not useless."

He paused.

"... I don't like noise."

"...That's...fine. I don't, either." Gordon said. "And I know you aren't useless, you've- I mean, you've kinda been the most normal guy here- and uh, you're smart."

He curled his knees to his own chest, looking at the ground, before deciding it was important to make sure if he knew Mind was signing or not.

"...I-I've kinda needed you as a source of grounding this whole time, man. It's...everything else is fucked and these people, I-I care about them but they're fucking...confusing."

The other guy had started signing something, before it died on his hands as he processed that.

Mind wasn't expecting at all to be told he was wanted, let alone that he was smart and helped ground the guy.

Some weight eased itself off of his shoulders, and he finally looked away from Gordon with such scrutiny.

"... Thank you. This place is fucking insane," another pause, "doesn't surprise me that you need me here just to make sense of everything."

Gordon let out a wheeze.

"Oh, it is fucking insane, I don't- the rest of the gang is exploring up ahead, but uh...yeah no. Today fucking sucks. And...I dunno what that skeleton was but- that noise and us shooting shit in the vents? Dude, I thought I was gonna throw up," He straight up laughed. "It- my ears are ringing still. And I'm still hearing weird fucking Russian."

Mind laughed, silently shaking before snapping his fingers again, a smile on his face.

"What is with the Russian?? I'm surprised I didn't throw up if I'm honest."

His expression dropped, and he looked down the vents to where the skeleton went.

"Did you kill it?"

“…I dunno, uh- the vent suddenly dropped off, into uh. Fan blades. Bubby fell in and didn’t get hurt, somehow,” Gordon said. “Uh, they all started to figure out how to get through when I realized you weren’t with us, so I came back here to see if you were okay.”

Mind paused, going over the words in his head.

It occurred to him that he hasn't tried to find a secondary motive or worry about any aliens spawning in beside them for a bit now. He didn't know how he felt about that.

"...Thank you."

“Oh- yeah, man, of course! I-I want us to get out, leaving you would be shitty, you don’t deserve that.” Gordon said, and then started feeling a bit of his Dad Mode instincts kick in again. “You feeling better? Need food? I have more uh, more chips.”

Mind smiled weakly, exhaustion from his breakdown still flooding his system.

"I'm good for now. Don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. Finishing this water though."

He picked up the bottle, tracing over the side of it.

“Good- good idea.” Gordon chuckled softly. “You uh, you do that. Then we can see if we can catch up with the team, alright? Or wait as long as you need.”

He pauses, hesitant.

“…Uh, there have been a few times where I’ve forgotten earplugs for heavier experiments, and uh. Got overstimulated and shut down, a-and I always locked myself in my office when that happened, cause I was…I didn’t want to be judged. So…I uh. I can kinda get…if you wanted to wait a bit longer. I-I’m pretty sure the Science Team is chill, I know for a fact Dr. Coomer is autistic- Bubby and Tommy haven’t told me themselves but they’re. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll be shitty. But we can still wait.”

Mind’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly, and he put it down again to sign.

"I'm not autistic. I just... Can't handle too much noise. And it isn't my fault that other people can't do things the right way."

If the only reason Gordon was being nice to him is because he thought he was Autistic, he didn't want it. He wasn't broken. He didn't know why his chest hurt at the thought of that.

He looked away.

"I can move in just a second."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that- it wasn’t in any offense, it was…well, it looked sorta like he doubted him, kind of a sure buddy, whatever you say expression.

“Take your time, man. I don’t mind waiting.”

Bite, chomp, kill. Mind let it go, for now, not having the energy to argue.

After another minute or so, he started to move, grabbing the bottle. He went to check for his gun as well, before realising it wasn't holstered, and looked around frantically, panic rising.

He spotted it close by Gordon, and practically lunged at the thing to put it back where it belongs.

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Gordon gave him a smile, and with a grunt, he stood up, stretching.

“Houghman, Alright, let’s-“

He was interrupted by footsteps, and turned around, noticing Bubby turn the corner.

“Dead-end.” He grumbled, Dr. Coomer and Tommy following behind.

“Huh!?” Gordon gestured. “Wh- why?! Really!? How big is this place!?”

...

TYSM FOR READING :3 SORRY IF IT'S A BIT MESSY, AGAIN THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN RP BETWEEN ME AND @shineyfish !

#hlvraifm #asks #cw: ableism #cw: self-harm #SORRY IF THIS ANSWER IS MESSY. I WAS SORTA DRUNK WHEN I STARTED ANSWERING IT AND IM STILL KINDA BUZZED LMAOOOO #freeman's mind

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kil9 · 10 months

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re: the taemin thing (sorry im so annoying about this but i feel you wanna talk about it as much as me!). i wanted to mention his blinking habit too, but as someone who is not autistic myself (not diagnosticated at least lmao) i was afraid it was just me making assumption but you noticed it to so!!! cool. anyway i could say many more things but the line between being just a strange little dude and being a strange little autistic dude is so thin!!! (like the fact that he eats random stuff at unlikely times of the day or that he's so forgetful). ANYWAY!!!!!! i just really love him and how shinee adapts their behaviour around him to make sure hes comfortable

YES ur never annoying i absolutely wanna talk abt it forever 🥺🥺

(this got kinda long so im putting it in the readmore lol)

but yeah the blinking habit for real !!! ur definitely not wrong to pick up on that ! (i even sponged it from him sometimes lol x_x) its cool that non autistic ppl have an interest in this stuff tbh :3 i think that more ppl understanding autism and all the weird specifics of it is rly the key to our happiness ykno 🤔because most non autistic ppl know literally. jack shit.

also the eating thing YEAH 😭😭 thats also so autism to me. shinee is so good to him !!!! u can tell that even if they dont know WHY he is the way he is, that theyve figured out how he works and how to treat him....

there was such a moment in the 15m thing when key was asking taemin to "prepare" the veggies... and taemin got such a look of dread where hes like "what...... wdym.. ?" & kibum has to be like "CUT THEM taemin" lol 💀💀 its such a silly moment but its SOO quintessential to me for both what its like to be autistic (ie: what the fuck are u saying to me "prepare" this. as if im supposed to know what that means), and what its like to be close with an autistic person (kibum having to kinda remember to "translate" what hes saying for taemin so he knows what hes talking about, it reminds me of how my partner is with me sometimes 🥺)

also back to when im saying they probably dont know why he is the way he is, even if they know all his ins and outs, i think this is probably the same for taemin 🤔 he strikes me as someone who prob doesnt know hes autistic, just knows hes "weird" and "different" and has figured out how to live like that despite. reminds me of myself kind of, cos i wasnt "diagnosed" (used loosely) until maybe 19 ? which is still young but at that point i had already been thru school and everything not knowing x_x its definitely possible to figure your life out & how you work without a diagnosis, and i think it happens all the time, but its also really really hard. i think having a name for it and something u can actually research & learn about is rly helpful. so even tho hes like 30 now im still kinda always hoping he realises 🤔 if it makes his life that much easier ykno ?

this is also why it pisses me off so much that ppl get THAT up in arms when this is brought up. ppl act like falsely "accusing" someone of being autistic will ruin their life, when really its basically harmless (obviously unless ur directly using it as an insult). even the opposite might be true 🤷‍♂️ someone can rly benefit from realising about themselves. also why im so pro self dx !!! even if everyone is "misdiagnosing" themselves these days (🙄 which prob isnt true anyway) like. whats the worst that could happen ? why does it matter if someone is wrong... they might still find some info that will help them 🤷‍♂️ theres not really any autism "resources" that are in scarcity so i dont rly care if someone thinks they are even if theyre not ?

#yea also the reason i say ''diagnosed'' in quotes is cos i was told by like 2 doctors but they didnt want to put it on the record 🤷‍♂️#so im technically not prof dxed but like. i also am 🤦‍♂️#in hindsight i think its good that they didnt bc i think it'd just cause problems... but at the time i was so pissed lol #because it was for rly stupid reasons #even doctors dont know a lot about it if its not their area of expertise 🤷‍♂️

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pink-strawberry-kissess · 4 months

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Hihihi!!!! I know this is a pretty random ask and I’m too shy to take it off of anon T^T I love the way you put your thoughts together!!!!!! All of your posts are super well done!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t wanna answer this feel free not to- but I was just curious, do you think any of the supporting cast from RE4R like The Merchant, Luis or Ashley left any lasting impact on Ada going forward with her life??? Like do you recon she’d remember them?????? :00 ((Also I’d feel guilty if I didn’t mention this also, but ik you’re not the biggest fan of Luis/I personally VERY MUCH SO disagree with your opinions on him (although I’m biased because my autism hyperfixated on him BDNEHENDJ) so again if you don’t wanna answer this ask you don’t have to!!!!! Sorry if this is very rambly I’m not good at putting my thoughts together concisely BDBEWNEH))

i added yours together so i didn't have to separate them sjkbfdskjfs

no worries on staying on anon! i know it's easier this way for people. and tysm!!!! <3

i feel like the merchant is always just like this- not real person that's written in for game mechanics lol. it's hard to realistically imagine it being real even though i know it's "real." it's not the same like nurse joy and officer jenny in pokemon where it like SURE MAKES SENSE but like the merchant following leon and ada around on the island is fucking hilarious to me.

i do think that luis had a bit of an impact on her, but she was also using him- so it would make sense if it was minimal in how she felt in his death. one of the minor changes i see people complaining about ada is her frailty, it is a change that i've seen talked about more and more in re4r and it furthers my theory that her apathy and less "overpowered" nature is a way to humanize her. which i don't particularly like in some aspects.

i've always liked ada to be emotionally resilient and to see her be more emotional regarding leon (which is actually a positive to show that her affection for him is more reciprocal), is a bit jarring and actually makes it seem like they're trying way too hard to get the audience to sympathize with her (which is a good thing, but it seems similar in the way that men write women = women bad, women weak, women sad.) you can show ada having mixed affections for leon without reducing her to a lovesick girl, which she isn't.

i wouldn't say i hate luis lol sjkfbsjk i really enjoyed the changes that they made initially upon first experiencing re4r. but the more time that i spent analysing the writing, the more i felt as though his writing were all plot devices and as a means to move the story along. (this isn't bad at all!) tbh, it makes sense, luis is a secondary character, a NPC and isn't meant to showcase all of his emotions and reasonings and motivations- but that's also a detriment (for me) because i don't find his motivations convincing or aligning well with his writing.

i do stand by my original thoughts that all the additions of luis' character writing was at the detriment to ada's writing. several scenes that had ada suddenly didn't. and the balancing wasn't enough tbh for how ashley and luis were both fleshed out. we got a modicum of additional inner thoughts with her monologue, but they aren't necessary new thoughts. these were assumed thoughts that we always had and weren't groundbreaking or enhanced her backstory (THAT MUCH) in comparison to how much was added for ashley and luis additionally, i think that ada might have been a bit more sympathetic towards ashley than in og re4 , which i guess is nice

i think that every character can have faults and can be poorly written- that doesn't mean that you can't like them!!

i love tons of poorly written characters, or even characters that are barely written. i love annoying characters, stupid characters, it all depends on how they're written!

i completely understand being hyper fixated by something- i also do!

i was def more just a leon girlie before i switched to ada lmao

ah sorry this is also rambly skbfkjsdfsj it's late when i wrote this

#ada wong #ask heart #heart answers #anon

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spencer-reids-adventures · 2 years

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hello! i absolutely adore your writing style- you are so talented. i think i read your community fanfictions??? although I not so sure If that really was you lmao -- I wanted to ask you if you could maybe write more about autistic! penelope? if not that's totally fine too. I just really like how I just "get" your spencer - I really can relate to it i mean - and I would love to read more about penelope since she is my favorite in cm!! (and also penelope centric ff are really rare????) maybe something like how everybody in the team slowly "found out" or her and her favorite stims idk im not creative lmao!! anyways this was just an idea? request? -- since I do really really enjoy ur writing-- I hope u have a great day!! xx

thank you! i have written a lot of community fic, so that was probably me, haha :) :)

here is some autistic penelope for you...

---

Penelope is in her office when Emily comes in without knocking.

“Garcia, where did you go?” she asks. “You haven’t been answering your video calls. We need you on this case. What’s going on?”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Penelope says desperately. The monitors in front of her have been turned off. “I just– I needed a minute.”

Emily softens. “Did something happen? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Penelope flaps her hands lightly in front of her. “I just, there was so much going on in that last video we watched, it was so– so horrible and brutal and I got overwhelmed.”

“Is that why your computer is off?”

“It’s not my computer, it’s just my monitor. I’ll turn it back on in a second, I swear…”

“I guess I didn’t realize things like this affected you so much.”

“It’s hyperempathy,” Penelope explains. “I feel too much sometimes, and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s, ah… it’s a symptom of my autism.”

“Pen, I didn’t know.”

“Now you do.”

The video call connects quicker than Penelope anticipates, and she’s suddenly greeted by a screen full of JJ’s face.

“What’s that in your mouth?” JJ asks, scrunching her nose.

Penelope lets the silicone cookie pendant drop from her jaw, eyes wide.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” she says quickly.

“Wasn’t supposed to see what?”

Penelope runs her fingers through her hair a few times, then tugs on the ends with her fingers.

“You weren’t supposed to know that my necklaces are chewable,” she explains.

“Why are they chewable?”

“They’re for stimming,” Penelope tells her. “You know, for– it’s sort of a neurodivergent thing. An autism thing. I’m autistic.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re going to sanitize that thing, right?”

Penelope laughs. “Yes, absolutely,” she promises.

“Hey, mama,” Morgan answers the phone. “What do you got for me?”

Instead of a quip or some flirty innuendo, a sob comes over the line.

“Penelope?” Morgan says quickly, the smile leaving his face. “What’s wrong?”

She sobs again, but no words come out, and Morgan has already started walking down the hall to her office. When he gets through the door, she takes two steps towards him and then collapses into his arms, shaking. The lights in her office are off, the monitors dim except for one, which has Spotify pulled up, but no music playing.

“Baby girl, did something happen?”

She shakes her head but doesn’t let go of him, squeezing him tighter and tighter until he takes the hint and squeezes back. Almost immediately, he feels her relax against him.

Penelope pulls back and steps back over to her computer, where she turns on a playlist, and the music fills her office. She grabs a bunny figurine from her desk and squeezes it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Morgan asks.

Penelope picks up her phone, and a moment later Morgan’s vibrates.

Can’t talk right now.

Morgan frowns. His phone vibrates again.

Can you just sit with me? I’ll explain later.

“Sure thing, baby girl.”

“Hey, Garcia, have you got any updates?” Rossi asks.

“Have you got any updates?” Garcia repeats without thinking about it. “Yeah, I’ve got the suspects bank records right here…”

They get back to work, and no one says anything – but Rossi is confused. He’s only been working with Penelope for a few weeks at that point, and she’s still a mystery to him.

It happens again a few days later.

“Is there any more coffee in the kitchen?” Morgan asks the group.

“Coffee in the kitchen?” Garcia repeats.

“Yeah, I just opened a new bag,” Reid adds.

Rossi is confused, but doesn’t say anything until later that day when he’s alone with Garcia in her office.

“Hey,” he says. “I noticed that sometimes you tend to… repeat the things people are saying after they say them. Why do you do that?”

Penelope blushes bright red.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “It must seem really weird if you haven’t been around me much. I do it a lot – it’s called echolalia. It’s common among people who are autistic.”

“And you’re autistic?”

“I am.”

“Okay,” Rossi says. “Thanks for explaining it to me.”

“Hi, I’m Penelope Garcia,” she introduces herself, holding out a hand.

“I’m Spencer Reid,” her new coworker replies. “I, uh, don’t shake hands.”

“Cool,” Penelope replies. “Nice to meet you.”

She catches him spinning in his chair later that afternoon, and tapping on his desk with his fingers in patterns whenever he’s not actively writing or doing something else with them.

Over the next few days, she notices that he gets his coffee at exactly the same times every single day, and he often whispers under his breath before speaking, and he’s got a drawer full of fidget toys in his desk.

“Are you autistic?” she blurts out when he’s in her office one afternoon, then slaps her hand over her mouth in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she says. “That was inappropriate, I think.”

“You’re fine,” Spencer says with a small smile. “Yes, I am. You too?”

“How could you tell?”

He shrugs. “I wasn’t sure until you asked me just now. It takes one to know one, I guess.”

“I guess,” Penelope laughs.

“Anyway, welcome to the BAU,” he says. “It’s nice to have someone on the team who gets it.”

“It is, isn’t it,” Penelope says with a smile. “I’m happy to be here, and I’m happy you’re here too.”

On Penelope’s first day of work, Hotch takes her aside and leads her into his office, closing the door behind them.

“I’ve got the information from your resume,” he says, “as well as your arrest file. But I want to know if there’s anything else you’d like to tell me about yourself before you officially begin as our technical analyst.

“Like what?”

“Anything. If you have any allergies. If you have any disabilities that might require accommodation. If you have any unique talents or challenges we haven’t discussed. Anything about yourself that you’d like me to know or like to have on file.”

Penelope hesitates, debating back and forth whether she wants to disclose such a private piece of herself. On one hand, she doesn’t trust these people. On the other, she does trust Hotch, who kept her out of prison – and to be honest, she could use the accommodations.

“I’m autistic,” she finally says. “I can bring you proof of my diagnosis if you need it.”

“That would be great,” Hotch replies. “Let’s discuss what kind of accommodations we can get going for you.”

#maya writes more than 5 sentences #autistic penelope garcia

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itsaspectrumcomic · 5 months

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this is kind of a vent and a bit of a silly rambled story (ooo story time! but feel free to ignore it if you want it wont bother me)

so i have been researching autism and adhd for roughly a year and a half now and its kinda become a special interest of mine (wild i know lmao) and its actually how i got my adhd diangosis! funnily enough the therapist who diagnosed me for adhd and evaluated me for asd was biased and had no knowledge about adhd or autism... :-] pained smile

(im afab and my sibling is amab and the comparisons between our assesments is insane. they got assesed easily but for me, the therapist was reluctant and judgemental. a great start i know /sarc)

anyway the therapist told me that i couldnt be autistic because even though i scored high, the test my PARENTS filled out for my childhood was very low. i wasnt even asked about my childhood experiences when it came back with a low score. i was just brushed off and told that it was only my adhd and that if i WAS autistic (which im not, according to her) that i would be "high functioning" and that "high functioning" people arent actually autistic. not word for word because i was half listening in shock but the general idea is still there. i have no clue how i even went to this woman tbh.

i have since made a list and included evidence for all the traits ive had since infancy but my parents 100% took the therapists word and are now completely convinced that there is zero chance that i can be on the autism spectrum. fun fact i think theyre both on the spectrum as well and ive talked to my sibling about it too. its wild lol

the thing is i keep going back and forth between denial and acceptance thinking i may be on the spectrum and ive had plenty of friends both professionally and self diagnosed tell me that i am on the spectrum but i cant help but accidentally find ways to invalidate myself and my experiences. i dont know if its worth it to get a professional diagnosis or to just exist as self diagnosed because they both have strong pros and cons. its all very confusing but i can wait 2 years until im a legal adult so i can at least try to get an assesment from a therapist who actually understands autism

i apologize for being so long winded and for any gramatical/spelling errors but i just wanted to thank you for making this blog in general. it feels very validating despite what other people and my negative thoughts try to say about my brain :-] i hope youre doing well !!

'"high functioning" people arent actually autistic'

UGH I hate that so much. I'm not really a fan of the the terms 'high functioning' and 'low functioning' anyway because it doesn't cover how autistic people can be really good at some things and struggle a lot with other things (also known as having a 'spiky profile') and just 'high' or 'low' doesn't properly take that into account, and then there's the whole questionable use of 'functioning' but that's a whole other discussion....

I'm sorry your parents aren't listening. Since autism can be genetic, it's fairly likely they are also on the spectrum and never noticed the traits when you were growing up because it all seemed normal to them.

It's a very personal decision whether or not to try for an official diagnosis, but whatever you decide is valid! The important thing is gaining self-acceptance and learning what works for you. Good luck and I'm so glad you're enjoying this blog :)

#ask #anon ask #long post #its a spectrum #autism diagnosis

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queen-rainy-love · 1 year

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Hi hope im not bothering you!!

Can you do a scenario of Gumball stealing Mint Choco’s violin? And Cherry says that he’s taking this “rivalry” too far (hc of mine lmao). He says its fine, and that its better than exploding his stage. Pancake agrees with Cherry and tells him that Avocado will get mad at him, and says he has seen Mint Choco being stressed out too much if he doesn’t have his violin. Gumball thinks about it, but shrugs it off and tells them he think MC can do fine without his “precious little violin.”

Annnd…then we see Mint Choco having an entire meltdown about his missing violin. He’s hitting his head with his hands and walking around in circles with his eyes closed, not responding to his friends (going nonverbal). Vampire, Herb, and Sparkling are trying to calm him down. Herb holds Mint’s hands and reassures him that Rye, CC, and Almond are finding his violin. Mint Choco cries and shakes his head trying to tell him “No they’re never gonna find my violin” but Vampire tells them they will. Sparkling also says that whoever took it will face the consequences.

Almond and Rye eventually finds Gumball with the violin. Clotted Cream demands Gumball to come with them. They all go to MC and Gumball sees Mint Choco’s hair disorganized, tear stains, and he looks a bit sweaty. Almond pushes Gumball gently towards MC, and Rye tells him what he wants to say to MC. He tells him sorry for messing with him and for stealing his violin, and gives him it back. Mint Choco stares at him but simply “Hmph!” And stomps away from him, of course harshly getting his violin back.

Vampire tells Gumball he’ll probably accept his apology but also says this: “You really should’ve done that, he’s autistic and he gets extremely overwhelmed.” Gumball asked him what does autistic mean. Everyone just sighs in disappointment, and CC and Herb explain it to him. Gumball says: “Oh…I really messed up, didn’t I?” Sparkling tells him that he did but says maybe this will teach you not to mess with anyone else. Almond also punishes him by making do community service for a week.

(fun fact: this happened to me in 3rd grade before I got diagnosed with autism 💀👍. Sorry for projecting my experience. Sorry for also bothering you—)

(Also this is a 1/2. Part 2 soon.)

Hello! This doesn't bother me! I don't mind writing this. Also, this will be the first time I've written a character with autism, so please let me know if I did anything wrong.

Let's go!

*The scene is set in the Parfait District of the Cookie Kingdom. We follow Gumball, Cherry, and Pancake sneaking around Sparkling's outdoor bar. Sitting right on the bar was a green violin case.*

Cherry: *concern* Are you sure this is a good idea? Don't you think this rivalry thing is going too far? Won't we get in trouble?

Gumball: Don't worry, cuz. It'll be fine. And besides, this is better than exploding his stage with paint. I'm not dealing with Aunt Avocado again.

Pancake: I agree with big sister Cherry. Mom will get mad at you if you do this. Plus...I've seen Mint Choco stressed out whenever he's away from his violin. I don't think you should do this prank.

*Gumball thought about his prank a bit more. But he brushes it off and grabs the violin case. He then runs off, with Cherry and Pancake running after him.*

Gumball: (I'm sure Mint Choco will be fine without his precious little violin.)

*Three minutes later, the scene changes to Mint Choco having a meltdown. He hits his head with his hands while walking in circles and his eyes closed to keep tears from falling. Vampire, Herb, and Sparkling tried to calm him down, trying to get a response from him, only to find out that Mint Choco has gone nonverbal.*

Herb: Mint Choco. *gently grabs Mint Choco's hands* Everything is going to be okay. Rye, Clotted Cream, and Almond are looking for whoever took your violin. Let's sit down and-

Mint Choco: N-no! *starts shaking his head* No! They're not gonna find it! Never gonna find it!

Vampire: Hey...it's okay. They will find it. They're the best searchers in the kingdom.

Sparkling: And those thieves will face consequences once they're caught. I'm sure of it.

Herb: Let's get you to sit down and we can get you something to drink. Would that be okay? *Mint Choco nods* Alright.

Sparkling: I'll get you some grape soda to drink.

*Meanwhile, Almond, Rye, and Clotted Cream were still searching for Mint Choco's violin. They looked around to find the green violin case.*

Clotted Cream: Where could it be?

Almond: It should be around here...*notices Gumball holding something familiar.* Hey Rye...

Rye: I see him. Oi! Boy! *Gumball flinches and turns his head around* Whatcha got there?

Gumball: N-nothing!

Almond: Really? Because I don't remember your cannon being that small and green.

Gumball: Um...

Clotted Cream: Save it. We already know. Go give Mint Choco his violin back. Now.

Gumball: And if I don't?

Clotted Cream: We'll tell Avocado about this prank.

Gumball:...Fine...

*The group walked all the way back to Sparkling's outdoor bar. Occupying there was Mint Choco, Vampire, Herb, and Sparkling, three of each were keeping an eye on Mint Choco and making sure he was alright. Gumball was shocked by what he saw. Mint Choco looked nothing like he usually looks like: his hair was disorganized, his face had tear stains running down his face, and sweat was dripping off his face.*

Almond: Go on. *gently nudges Gumball toward Mint Choco*

Rye: You better tell him you're sorry for all that you did.

*Gumball walked up to the older Cookie. He took a deep breath before speaking up.*

Gumball: Um...Mint Choco? *Mint Choco looks up and his eyes widen as Gumball hands over his violin case* I...I'm sorry for taking your violin. I was just pulling a prank. I didn't think it would go this far. I'm sorry.

*Mint Choco looks at his violin case, then at Gumball. Before Gumball could say anything else, Mint Choco harshly yanks the violin case away from Gumball.*

Mint Choco: Hmph! *stomps away*

*As everyone watches Mint Choco stomps away, Vampire flicks Gumball's forehead.*

Gumball: Ow!! I apologized! But he didn't accepted it!

Vampire: Oh don't get him wrong. He'll probably accept your apology but you really shouldn't have done that.

Gumball: How was I suppose to know that he'll react to like that?!

Vampire: Well, he's autistic! He gets extremely overwhelmed!

Gumball: ...What? Autistic? What is that?

*Everyone sighs, leaving Gumball feeling a bit dumb.*

Herb: You are a child...but you should still know about this. You see...Autism, and I'm simplifying this a lot, is where a Cookie has difficulty in social and communication skills.

Clotted Cream: Now, not every Cookie has the same symptoms for autism but there are some similarities that do contribute. Like a delay of spoken language, a.k.a. going nonverbal or being sensitive to loud sounds.

Herb: And Mint Choco will have his anxiety heightened if he gets triggered.

Gumball: Oh...I really messed up, didn't I?

Sparkling: You did, but hopefully, this will teach you to not cross a line with other Cookies. Pranks are only funny when everyone finds it funny, not just you.

Almond: That's a good lesson and I think you should also have a punishment to really let the lesson sink in. Community service for a week.

Gumball: ...That's fair.

#cookie run kingdom #crk requests #crk writing #mint choco cookie #gumball cookie #cherry cookie #pancake cookie #herb cookie #vampire cookie #sparkling cookie #rye cookie #almond cookie #clotted cream cookie #i hope i did this justice

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basuralindo · 10 months

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Hi hi Echo!!! for the character ask meme!!! How about Jade? :o

Heeeey thank you!! Sorry this took forever to answer! (I'm always happy to talk about Jade lmao)

What I love about them: He's so fucking weird. I already went off about the eel and monster mermaid thing in my last ask about Floyd, but that's definitely a thing for Jade too. I love how fascinated he is with the surface world and all the things he never saw before. And just the way he's so false and malicious and reserved, but seems to have a very genuine love of wonder, I like that he displays a more realistically multifaceted personality, instead of just being evil for the sake of evil or whatever. Like, his psychology is fun to observe, I guess? Again, I have a lot of thoughts about this, but they're hard to explain right now. I just appreciate that he's complex and interesting and obviously came from a traumatic background, but like his brother, he seems to have warped his feelings towards it in a way that leaves him uninterested in lamenting any of it, but not really able to connect with most of society. I also like that the result of it all is him being a quiet little chaos gremlin who makes problems on purpose. He's just, fun.

What I hate about them: I'm... not a huge fan of sadism. I generally dislike sadistic characters automatically, but Jade's fun and interesting enough to bypass that feeling somehow. It makes him a challenge to write, for sure, cause half of it is me projecting autism and seriously low empathy, but then I have to just fumble and guess for sadism and horniness.

Favorite Moment/Quote: This bitch really went and risked everyone's life including his own for the chance to poison a ghost. Out of curiosity. And then bragged about it in front of her and had the audacity to act shocked and betrayed when he got slapped. I don't even know if that's my favorite moment. He's always pulling something. I also love his sledathon moments of eagerly recommending sabotage with Idia. And just found his halloween vignette really interesting for lore.

What I would like to see more focus on: I actually enjoy the level of mystery they've left with Jade. I'm always curious to know everything about the tweels' background, but the way he teases alarming information really adds to his charge overall. I'd love to see him experience genuine emotions to an extent he couldn't hide though, just because I wanna turn him inside out and see what's going on in there. (I'd also love to see him interact with Jamil more, but that's for shipping reasons, not overall story experience)

What I would like to see less focus on: I'm sure something will pop into my head in the middle of the night while I'm about to fall asleep, but right now I can't think of anything that's bothered me yet.

Favorite pairing with: Azul, and Jamil. And Trey is growing on me a bit.

Favorite friendship: I want him to be friends with Lilia so badlyyyyy. Also after sledathon I'm really enjoying whatever the fuck is going on with him and Idia.

NOTP: I can't think of any I've seen around and hated? I'm sure there could be, but nothing immediately comes to mind. RIP to anyone who gets shipped with the guy tbh.

Favorite headcanon: I have a whole theory planned out for the fic about his backstory and the development of his UM, but I'm not gonna spoil that here. Barely off canon but I think he can cook, technically, but wants to experiment too much amd it comes out nightmarish. Partially because of the experimental factors, partially because he's only had access to a stove for two years of his life and doesn't have the experience to go off script without disaster. Same goes for drinks.

#ask meme #jade babble

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antisocialxconstruct · 1 year

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Hoi, it's the anon with the nurse mum again. sorry if my last answer frustrated you and I didn't explain it well. ;w; I am very autistic so I probably bumblefucked my main message by being too long

So to be much shorter: why don't I pick antisocial options when they're available to me, in a world that has no consequences? I don't think I have a good answer that will satisfy you. Because to be honest, my answer is: my fantasy isn't picking the evil option. It isn't picking the nice one. My empowerment in RPGs is that I can choose at all, no matter what that choice is.

I spend every day of my life masking if I have to be out in society. I wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was an adult and I've got a lot of trauma (don't we all, I'm definitely not special in this regard) and so for me, my only answer to your question really is "because I didn't feel like it right now, and was allowed to make my own choice." I don't have a better answer than that. Which was a bit my goal of my original post that I think I messed up so badly. Not "actually this is why it makes sense people pick hero options, learn you some empathy" and I am genuinely very sorry if it came across like that

I do think though that if you asked me which I found more "cathartic" overall, between hero or villain, I'd probably say villain/dark/antisocial when they're at least written decently enough. I do like helping people in games sometimes, but sometimes that comes from this "I wish I'd gotten this sort of help when I needed it" and if I think too long about that it gets sad lmao. Meanwhile when I pick the darker options, it's a much more selfish "I wish I could have done this". So at least for me, the characters I make that are close to recklessly good are the kind of people I wish had existed for me, so I could be helped. And the characters I make that are unashamedly antisocial or even nasty pieces of shit, those are the characters I wish I could exist as. Which wasn't directly your question, but maybe it's kind of related? It doesn't answer "Why don't you pick X" but it does at least touch on which I guess I prefer if you stuck a gun to my head and told me to choose

Ah yeah see I knew the order of events was gonna make it look like your ask specifically was the one that bothered me, and I promise it wasn't! If anything it was just the one that really made me sit back and go "hold on I think we've gotten off topic and I didn't even notice." I did think it was an interesting read though, as its own thing and as something related to the broader discussion about what appeals to people in their roleplay experience. The reason I didn't have much to say in direct response was truly just that I didn't want to end up putting my foot in my mouth on your nice story about admiring your mom 😬 (and also I really did have to clock back in a few minutes later)

And tbh I actually do find your answer interesting, especially in the context of someone who spends most of their time masking and is looking for relief from that. Because it's the same for me to an extent, but obviously masking for autism and masking for a personality disorder are two very different experiences. If nothing else I feel like just having someone say outright "well I didn't do what you're suggesting because it just didn't seem interesting," (instead of me just inferring that that's the only reasonable explanation) is satisfying because it means I can look at how I feel about playing The Good Guy (utter disinterest) and map that onto other people's feelings about playing The Bad Guy and be like "oh. Well alright sure." And I do also think I understand the sentiment of it being more about the act of choice than necessarily about the specific thing you choose. I think if I looked inward I could safely say that's a big part of the appeal for me too, which is why I like the idea of a game that presents you with both possibilities and then doesn't try to stop you if you go down the Dark Path (even if there are scarce few games that really get it right lol).

All this to say, please do not feel like it was you specifically who derailed anything or soured my mood or anything like that. It was mostly just bad timing 😔 But I appreciate you coming back to check and I also appreciate the additional insight!

#ask #anon #rpg morality #rom speaks

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vero-niche · 6 months

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UNSURPRISING AND BORING??? HAZUGSÁG! TELL ME ABOUT IT ACTUALLY!!!

(context: this ask was sent by my dear mutual after i reblogged a post about what my special interest is, which is films and filmmaking that i called those things)

fjhfjvhnfkc im so sorry for not replying to this sooner, it's been haunting me since that day bc first i was like "i will answer from desktop bc this is gonna be a long one" and then... i didnt. anyway, im just gonna start rambling and hit post at some point when i run out of steam, enjoy 💞

edit: whoops better put All That under a read more lmao

note: by movie/film i also mean animation, tv shows, anime, etc

so, it all started when i was little.... we were living mostly in a small village in northern hungary, no access to cinemas or such but my dad started working at a tv station in the capital when i was like... idk. small

anyway, he had access to The Internet and pirated movies and brough home burned VHS tapes.... i loved fiction ever since i remember and movies were no different. saw a lot of disney and other stuff, mum says i rewatched a lot of them a lot of times.... as an undiagnosed adhd+autism kid these movies were my main source of obsession.

as many in my generation, i grew to love reading a bit later after i saw the first h*rry p*tter movie and read the book but even then and ever since as well my imagination works kinda like a movie. i imagine certain shots and angles, even tho for the most part my imagination is as fuzzy as my thoughts.

also on the part of the audhd, i was basically self medicating with movies. stressed? watch a movie. sensory overload? movie (or later on, music). feeling shit? movie. it kind of works like a factory reset of my brain if the film is good. i guess because for 1,5-2,5 hours i am completely focused on one thing in a way thats not exhausting to me.

during elementary, i was in a friend group that i got in because we were in the same not school related drawing group (rajzszakkör yknow) and basically all 4 of us were a bit too neurodivergent there i think 😄 anyway, somehow when i first got a phone with camera, we started doing little "sketches" (and me with my then best friend separately too). then two of those friends came up with a short movie idea, a mockumentary about the iconic "twin towers" of the town we lived in (and hated). the 4 of us filmed and played all parts, right there in the city, and one of us edited it. it turned out quite.... well, like a shitpost lmao. so, naturally, we got quite hooked but esp me and one other friend (who is now an acclaimed theatre director btw. lol)

anyway, so we did several of these short movies + i did several sketches and other stuff with all kinds of friends in the coming years, all through about mid-high school years...

for several reasons, despite it being the obvious choice, i didnt end up going to film major at uni but chose english studies. i don't regret it, but my place wouldve been at the film major tbh....

anyway, i decided to give up my filmmaking dreams... but yknow, special interests dont wotk that way lmao.

i kept watching movies with a critical mind, such as "oh this shot is good" or "this shot is too long, they should've cut it a few seconds earlier" or "oh, they are using xy technique here" and once you start looking at movies from a filmmaker point of view, theres just no turning back (or off). i think i majorly watch anime in my spare time now bc i analyze what i see less than with live action stuff.

so like. idk what my point here is. i listen to soundtracks of movies i loved, not just the ones with lyrics but the background music too. i love rewatching and dissecting parts. after seeing a new one that i loved i headstraight to imdb to the crew and trivia section, i watch/read interviews, check box office numbers even and stare in awe when they show a special technique or smg they used.

and i mainly always thought "well i just have a passion for it but its nothing that outstanding, right? people look these stuff up when then love smg, right?" well. 😶

then not too long ago i realized im not only adhd but autistic as well. and that the reason why this passion (and need to be involved in the making) never really left, even when i myself gave up on it, is bc its my special interest.

so now im slowly approaching crossroads bc on the one hand i have a stable corporate job with good routines at home. but on the other if i dont "give in" to my special interest i feel my soul will wither. but also im sososcared 👍

in summary:

#ask #mutuals #if you got this far in reading... ily + im sorry + i am bonking you on the shoulder lovingly #and this is only a mere fraction of what goes on inside my g #*head #but my thumb is sore and i keep tapping the wrong keys so. imma stop

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