#sorry for the rant guys but the discord people were pissing me off | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wetsydy · 3 years

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third posts a charm....i guess

Hello Hello Hello! As some of you might have already seen there is quite a lot of things going on in the GTA fandom....or....y'know, Tumblr circle that has given me plenty of DMs and plenty of vents and things to go through. So.....I need to give my two cents because....I've been blocked as well after asking for some time to get my thoughts together and that has given me the nudge to go ahead and make my side public as well. Lets go then, shall we?

Just to be clear, yes, this is kind of an addition to @shjwacd's post because as some of you have connected the dots we have both been having trouble with the same person. So if you guys need any more background information on this whole situation please take a look at his side on this. (Thank you for letting me mention you, mwah!!)

So uhm....yeah. This whole situation is fucked up. I know. I'm not going to go off in a whole essay rant because it is 2am and I really don't care enough to. So I'm going to make it clear that I have talked to the person who is also involved and have gotten a clear to address things going on personally.

This is just...fucking weird for me to come on here and explain to my 200-something followers that I'm having problems with someone who I have been friends with for a little under a year. It might upset people but please understand that this was made public way before Sh made a post and it needs to be properly addressed before people are misinformed. Alright? Alright, awesome.

From now on I will be avoiding names because you all know who you are. Mostly everyone who will be reading this knows whats going on and I don't feel like saying names because I wouldn't want that to happen to me either.

SOOOOOOOOOO

Here we go. Short and sweet. I will explain everything I will be doing from now on in this friendship and I'll be making it public. Sounds pretty good, I guess. Reply if you want, ignore me, never speak to me again if you wish. It's your choice. I gave you a chance a week ago and you didn't take it. So I'm standing up for myself because I myself have been through too much hurt and loss that I can't handle being walked all over again, alright?

This entire situation has me fucked up in so many ways that I think about it fucking constantly. It won't get out of my head. I finally got it sorted out tonight to reach out and now we can't talk on Discord. So alright. Tumblr it is. This might be my last post. I'm fucking SICK of dealing with this. I can't stomach it. There's too many stresses in my life that I can't make everyone happy, but I can be honest now. I can be more honest with everyone.

Yes. I have talked about them behind their back to you. I realize that. I explained that to him not even half an hour ago. I can't explain to them how truly sorry I am. I can't use excuses for talking about them behind their back the way I did. But they forgave me and understood. So don't believe for a second that I'm changing sides and sticking with them because they are "cool" or something......

So I will not be interacting with you anymore. I won't try. We might cross paths and I'm okay with that. You were one of my best friends. You know a lot more about me than most people do. I understand you might want to reach out to me after I post this but I don't think that I can trust you because I saw what you did to people after they stopped talking to you in the first place.

I'm taking space for myself. We have mutual friends, we're bound to be able to hear about each other. But I can't go on like this anymore. I can't go on feeling sad and wanting to help you but knowing deep down I can't even fucking help myself. So I'm trying to be the better person. Maybe you'll understand that, maybe you won't. I'm not going to be sorry about the decision that I make though. It's come to this and I should have realized sooner that I should have stopped talking about them behind their back and I should have stood up, I should have and I told you that I would not be commenting on the things that you say about them because I was friends with them and cared about them, flash forward a month and this is happening over what? A fucking name and credits, then it spiraled into emptiness and cluelessness, then some oblivious fucking post instead of coming to ME and explaining to ME what I did wrong. So yeah. I've been pissed off. I'm so sick of hurting and sick of wanting to scream so I'm ending this.

Our collabs....I don't know whats going to happen with them. I was looking forward to the continuation of them, but what else is there to do? I'm sorry to those who read them. I will still be making my own works and a collab with another talented creator might be coming up very soon, so we have that coming up.

So...until next time. Hopefully there won't be one - have a good Sunday, all.

#personal things #vent #please read.

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doodleniella · 3 years

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ATTENTION!! I’M MOVING TO A NEW BLOG--!!

They say, cherry blossoms or sakura symbolizes ‘rebirth’. Well, I think I am kind of like a sakura petal... (NAVI AND MASTERLIST UNDER CUT)

For the next few days, I’ll be moving into both my new main and side blogs, from @doodleniella and @ellaneedscuddles , into two fresh new blogs. And there’s a catch: my side blog will be my new main blog, and the new art blog will be my side blog.

I know and y’all know I seldom drop by my main blog (because I’m more active in my side blog until recently), ‘cept for when I upload a new artwork. I feel like I’ve abandoned my main blog for so long blah blah~ I will not deactivate/delete this blog but make it like an archived blog and I will provide the old links of some of my past works into my new blog’s masterlist. I will take over some of my WIPs here and post them there also. As for the name? Hmm... that will be decided soon ^^.

Now, for ellaneedscuddles. I need to start anew, because every time I logged in there and scrolled through my dash, I feel like shit seeing, remembering things that I should forget but can’t. For the last few days, I’ve been in some sort of... um, whatchamacallit... bad terms or something with some of the rp people that I had interacted for about half a month. Yes, there were some misunderstandings and whatnot on both my and their sides, and some talks behind my back (which is really not good) that made me stressed, a bit depressed, and pissed. Siiiigh... *clears her throat* look @chaoticryder if you thought/felt that I had offended you by that ask (which I didn’t knew you’d felt that way and not told me directly instead) I’m really really sorry. Also, @official-daishou (and other blogs with the same mod), I’m sorry I snapped at you for the way you’re messaging me via my DMs for two straight midnights (and an ask to another anon which I also felt it’s creepy af and a red flag, too imo sorry); I know you’re not being mean there, but you could’ve said it in a nice way without any segues (like what one rp anon did last night, which I say gracias). Speaking of, instead of making a Discord channel just to rant about me and how I interacted with you guys made y’all uncomfortable, why didn’t you all just said it straight at me? You know, my asks and DMs are open to reach me about it. I can change how I act towards y’all, if it suits you. But this? Smh... I feel stabbed in the back (?) and pissed tbh to the point where after I knew about this, I cried the whole time until the next day, even posting some rant bits on my blog. Even one of my friends who’s also there knew about this but hid it to protect me from your bullying bs ways. Still, the damage’s done, y’all deepen a scar inside me... and deleting that won’t change anything. Still, if I really made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. :( also sorry for tagging some of you lol smh sorry again

So there. My reasons for moving blogs. I will follow some of my moots from both old blogs using my new ones, and maybe some of the blogs I adored, too. Now, I will start on moving out--

That’s all! This is Ella, now signing off. For now... :))

head pats, kisses and bear hugs to y’all, my babycakes~ mwah mwah tsup tsup <3

OLD NAVI | OLD MASTERLIST | NEW (CONT’D) MASTERLIST

#icymi #huling habilin... dejk #no i won't die yet #jusq #smh #will pin this after I have deactivated my side blog and attached my old navi/masterlist here #thank you for the memories #nanghihinayang ako sa 10k+ posts ko sa side blog smh #lol #ella's rambles #doodleniella #ellaneedscuddles

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meiishu · 4 years

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one of my worst memories with this one group of friends i met (well i call them friends but its more like casual acquaintances and one of the guys i used to sort of date but anyway) is when i first joined them i told the guy i was sort-of dating at the time ‘hey i go by an alias online, i dont like my given name a lot, i prefer to go by kenzie or mackenzie’ and he was like, ‘cool’.

but then. ugh. sorry this turned into a rant more under the cut if you are nosy about other peoples salt like i am when i see these kinds of posts on my dash lmao

anyway, then i join voicechat for the first time and the FIRST thing i hear is one of the girls in the group, lets call her C, (who i guess had an ex-best friend or something named mackenzie) screaming “CAN WE CHANGE HER NAME CAN WE CHANGE HER NAME!!!!!”

like thanks!!! for invalidating the name i prefer to go by!!!! i left voicechat after that. the guy apologized for her behavior and im pissed off at myself for shrugging it off but like

i still think about it like every fucking day it was so rude. like if her name was taryn i wouldn’t demand she fucking change it because it’s my shitty ex’s name. how is this fair and something she thought was ok to say. we had barely spoken before. i had INTRODUCED myself as mackenzie in the discord introductions tab, yet they were still referring to me as megan

like this implies not only 1) that he told them all it wasnt my name when i joined 2) that he told them my REAL NAME when i specifically told him i went by an alias online

that was when what little chance this man had with me fizzled to nothing but ANYWAY

he also outed me to the group about being ace? like, ok, i wasnt hiding it in particular but thats still my story to tell and he and the others were talking about a meetup, and joking about it being a sexual meetup or something, it was a conversation i wasnt even a part of. yet he still @ tted me and said ‘well thankfully for you _, megan is asexual’ first of all, not respecting my choice to go by kenzie even after i specifically said i hate the name megan (and he and C still call me megan all the time), second of all, outing me when i had told him my sexuality in confidence. just between the two of us.

like... i dont trust this man at all lmao he talks about all my shit. and all he does is talk at me about star trek which i told him i dont like but he still!! demands i watch it and talk about it!!! and he whines about being a ‘nice guy’ all the time but then he does shit like that and directly @ ts me when talking about his ‘type’ of girl even after we agreed to just be friends like. well you’re not my fucking dream man, thats for sure. and he’s numerous times said he ‘wished we’d worked out’ and that ‘wed be a good match’ but like, he barely knows shit about MY interests or ME. it’s ALL ABOUT HIM and fucking star trek all the time. ugh. i am so glad i dodged that fucking bullet. i do not want to date him ever lmao. and i feel like he thinks that i’ll ‘fall for him’ the longer we’re friends. and i suspect he still thinks something will happen. like i dont mind talking to him but im lowkey kind of scared to meet up with him even somewhere public for lunch or something.

dont mind me im just feeling really pissed off about this for some reason tonight. i mean it always grates on me but especially tonight i guess

#kenzie speaks #personal #the CAN WE CHANGE HER NAAAAAME still haunts me #delete later #maybe

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bard-dadsquared · 4 years

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In other news, I do need validation. Long angry rant is about to happen.

The other day I called my Ex on fb so he could talk to our son. I made a comment later that day how he looked like he hadnt been sleeping and how he seemed like he may be depressed, and the person i was talking to was just like

"Poor guy :(("

To which I just shrugged and told them that I didnt feel bad for him, everything he's feeling, he brought on himself.

They said "I feel kinds bad for him because I know he loves you!"

And I'm just???

Maybe he did?? Maybe he does?? But that doesn't negate all the shit he did to drive me the fuck away. I loved him too once. But then everything I said, everything I felt, everything I tried to ask for fell on deaf ears.

I don't feel bad for him because when we moved to the duplex in Texas, he left all the loading and packing to me. It was up to me to find people to help me move stuff to the new place and make sure everything was packed and ready to go. All he worried about was his PC and his desk. Hell even my brother and I had to put my bed frame together because he hadn't done it.

He was an asshole everytime we had to go back to the other house to help clean up too and got mad once because my mom asked us to bring something and he didnt bring it.

But things settled down mostly. I hated how i was expected to do almost everything but it was manageable.

Then he wanted to move and find a new job, which was fine, he sorta?? Let me know what kind of jobs he was applying for and where. But when he got an offer, he accepted it without even talking to me about it. The job he took he was going to start in two months and I had less than a months notice to pack all of our shit and leave not only that but they didn't offer relocation and he was going to be getting a little less in pay. We had less than a month to move Which again- he barely helped with. All the sorting through shit and packing was left up to me once again. I ended up leaving almost all of our stuff behind because I couldnt fucking take it with me to my moms.

I gave Virginia a shot and i was more miserable than I've been ever. I was expected to do everything. EVERYTHING. I decided to go to California. I had originally hoped that in doing so we could save some money and he could use the money we saved to get stuff for the apartment to make it more comfortable.

Which didnt really happen until April. After being with Family in Cali for a while, seeing how well lucian was doing and stuff, I honestly didn't wanna go back. I went back to sign the lease and then again a couple months after my aunt died because of how tense things were at the house, i figured it'd be a last ditch effort to save things.

But no. I tried to tell him how I felt. I tried to tell him what bothered me, why i was so depressed. I told him I felt lonely, I told him I felt like i was expected to do everything. And it always. always felt like I was talking to a wall

I told him I wished wed go out and do things more, that itd be nice and I might meet people. He wanted me to meet people online first and then meet them in person. Which totally defeated the purpose of getting me out of the. House to socialize, and even if indidnt make any friends then at least I got out and was productive. But he doesnt like leaving the house.

I told him countless times that I felt like it was unfair that he expected me to do so much work around then house with minimal help, but nothing changed. He thought helping more meant cleaning the kitchen and making easy dinners.

And while I appreciated it in wished hed help more with the living room too, or the laundry, or anything else literally. The most recent time I brought it up he managed to turn it around to finances and told me that he doesnt spend money on himself because he spends it all on me and Lucian. He told me that if i didnt get what I wanted I essentially acted like it was the end of the world.

Granted yes, I'd get disappointed and my displays depending on my mood or whether or not the item was seasonal or limited edition varried from minor to being a little mopey (i really tried not to be, most of the time i was usually more upset about the ungodly cost than anything.)

Then he invades my privacy, not once but twice I found out. This son of a bitch logged on to my discord, TWICE.

The first time he did it was a day I cleaned the whole apartment. Like I vacuumed, shampooed, cleaned the kitchen counters the best in could, did the dishes, took out the trash, wiped counters and the stove, did several loads of laundry, picked up in the bedroom.

As soon as he got home i went to my room and I guess thats when he did it. He logged onto my account on the computer and opened discord, and went through my messages.

That's literally the only reason he asked me for a divorce. Was because he had seen I've been thinking about it for a while.

And then for whatever reason he did it a second fucking time.

The irony? The first time he did it?? If hed just fucking come to me, I was gonna ask him for a divorce myself. But then he did it, and while it was a huge relief at the time, it would have taken every ounce of willpower not to slap him if I had known then that he was only asking because he went through my messages.

We managed to work things out to maintain some civility for Lucian's sake, and i was okay with that! I was glad we seemed to have cleared the air a little bit.

But then I thought about it more, he never actually apologized to me for anything. He never actually apologized for the messed up stuff he did or said, and he doesnt think he did anything wrong by going through my messages. In fact he thinks he was justified because "I needed to know how they really felt."

And then when I admitted some things I did or said was messed up, he didnt even actually own up to his bullshit. He had to lump me in with him

"Cant we bith admit that we both did and said fucked up shit?"

Like?? That's whaT I WAS JUST DOING. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS WHOLE TIME???

Then on my way to CO I find out??? He tried to say he does everything himself??? Inwas looking into the requirements to fly with my cat and dog because originally i was going to fly to Colorado. I dont remember which airline I checked, but I checked the requirements for the airline he was gonna send me on, and then he tells my step dad hes tired of doing everything himself.

WHAT???

I looked it up!! I thought I was gonna fly with a certain airline so that's who I fucking looked it up for!!! And hes trying to say he did all the footwork HIMSELF?! If I'd known he was considering another airline I WOULD HAVE LOOKED THAT UP TOO, BUT I DIDNT. Then He has the audacity to say hes tired of being the only one doing all the work??

Are you fucking kidding me????

No, nuh uh. Fuck him. I dont think I hate him surprisingly but FUCK IM LIVID.

I should by all rights hate his fucking guts, but dont, if I did the sight of him would send me into fits of rage as would the mention of his name.

But God damn I am PISSED OFF at him. So fucking pissed off. I mean for all I know hes hacked my account and is reading this right fucking now.

If you are Alex, FUCK YOU for everything you've put me through these last couple years.

fuck him. I don't feel bad for him in the least. I know I'm not fucking perfect, but I fucking tried. I gave him more chances than he fucking deserved. He held me to unfair standards, he expected me to clean house in 2 hours or less, expected me to cook every fucking night, constantly tried to tell me my mental health is harder for him than it is for me, tried to tell my family that he does all the fucking work (okay I cant make phone calls but I can do fucking research you fuck), made me out to be the bad guy constantly, doesn't own up to his bullshit, put me through all this and EXPECTED ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR GOING TO CALIFORNIA, went through my fucking discord, and countless other bullshit.

Yeah no I don't feel bad for him. Not at all, he had plenty of chances to work with me to avoid all this and he chose to ignore it. The only attempts seemed to be when I wasn't with him.

I have a lot of baggage and issues, but I fucking deserve better than that.

If hes in emotional turmoil because of what happened. He brought it on himself. I fuckin tried.

If me not feeling even a little sorry for him makes me a bad person

Then get me my fucking demon costume.

#blue.txt #long post #negative #ask to tag #I JUST REALLY NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST

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bailesu · 5 years

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Why Minako Isn’t Allowed to Play Call of Cthulhu

This is actually a segment of a much larger, unfinished project, but it largely stands on its own and I felt like sharing it with those who read my Tumblr.

Rei had lied, as Mars, to Tom, claiming they had ‘important sailor business’ because she didn’t want them to know about her less cool hobbies. A lot of guys would make fun of her for it and she enjoyed dating Tom enough to not want to just scuttle it all like that.

But to do this, she’d had to let Minako come with them, leading to the current crisis.

“I run up the aisle, touching *every* pillar,” Minako said. “I bet something cool and sanity-destroying will happen.”

“Minako, if we all go mad, we’ll be eliminated!” Rei shouted at her.

“This is why I suggested she and I stand guard duty outside,” Ryo moaned.

The GM, a tall dark haired guy named Hanzo, laughed softly. “As you light them up, each one sucks out a magic point; this reduces you from fifteen to seven.”

“I can see all this outside because of the headcams, right?” Naru said. She and Umino had ended up on guard duty; they feared the cultists might come back soon.

“Yes,” Hanzo said.

“I back up the truck,” Naru said, then pointed to the map. “To here.”

“Okay,” the GM said.

“Can I shoot her before she finishes?” Rei said, feeling frustrated that Minako was about to piss everything down a hole for *no reason*.

“You could shoot her now but not before since you don’t have a gun out,” Hanzo said.

“I get my gun out,” Rei said grimly.

The altar shimmers and a voice begins to sing a horribly discordant, powerful song,” Hanzo said. “Sanity checks, D10 loss on a fail. Those outside only lose 1d4 as the full impact can’t be transmitted via the headsets.”

Naru lost nothing and Umino lost four, sighing, dropping to 46. Minako lost nothing, and Rei lost 9. “I still have 63, so no temporary insanity,” Rei said, giving a sigh of relief. Ryo lost six and dropped to 49. Ami lost 2, dropping to 56.

“Hmm, I probably need to…” Minako began.

“We dogpile Minako… I mean ‘Amelia’… before she can touch anything else,” Rei said.

“I assist,” Ryo said, grimacing.

“I consult the book of Thoth,” Ami said nervously.

“I put the truck in drive, but keep my foot on the brake,” Naru said.

“I fret, as I can’t do anything else out here,” Umino said, tugging his hair nervously. Naru took his hand and clasped it, then kissed it gently. He smiled at her, a little less nervous.

“Roll your Unarmed to tackle her,” Hanzo said. Rei rolled a 88 and Ryo got a 65 and they both missed.

“I run and touch the altar!” Minako said.

“Minako, please don’t do it, I want to win this year. I have lost in this tournament SIX times, I don’t want to lose a seventh,” Rei pleaded.

“You… when you were eleven?” Minako asked, surprised.

“Wow, I didn’t start RPGs until I was twelve,” Umino said.

“Grandpa got me started when I was nine because I didn’t have any friends,” Rei said. She mumbled something incoherent. Then she said, “But this group is the first pre-assembled team I was part of; before, I just entered the random pool at cons and I didn’t… People…” She stared at the ground.

“Dammit,” Minako said. “Can I cancel my action? I didn’t realize how important this was to Rei.”

“I told you a million times!” Rei said in frustration.

“But you didn’t really *show* it, it was just the way you also will shout at the toaster if it doesn’t work *just* right,” Minako told her.

“If I don’t shout, you assume it isn’t important!,” Rei shouted.

“You two lovers can continue your fight later,” Hanzo said. “There are no takebacks, so Amelia rushes the altar, touches it, loses her remaining magic points and collapses.”

“Mmm, lovers,” Minako purred.

“We are not lovers! I have a boyfriend!” Rei shouted.

“Wait… you have a boyfriend?” Ryo said in surprise.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Naru asked.

“Hmm, yes, who is he? My records are out of date now,” Umino said.

Rei tugged her hair in frustration. Dammmit.

“While you all have your lover’s quarrel, the music turns triumphant and a man of Mediterranean complexion appears, dressed in a nice suit and holding a saxophone; he plays a riff and two Hunting Horrors appear. Make a sanity check; you lose d6 on success, d20 on failure,” Hanzo said.

Umino got a 99 on his roll, blowing it and losing 20 sanity points to his shock; this dropped his character to 26 and another roll meant that Professor Oxbridge was now catatonic. Naru rolled a 43, so just lost 2 sanity and dropped to 59. Minako rolled 73 and so her 68 sanity dropped 15 to 54. This caused Amelia to begin hallucinating she was at the beach and she began ‘swimming’ on the carpet. Rei got 25, so she only lost 3, dropping to 60. Ryo rolled 88, then rolled a 17, dropping to 32; his character, Richard Burton, ran in terror, now deathly afraid of churches. Ami rolled a 21, lost 5 and dropped to 51.

“Fools! Nothing can stop the coming of the New Age!,” Hanzo said, his voice gravelly now. “Nylarathotep gestures at you all. “Your death will find its meaning in how you were used to bring about the end of this false veneer of civilization.”

“While he rants, I put the truck in gear, crash through the wall and drive over him,” Naru said.

Hanzo paused. “You what?”

“Flimsy wooden walls, falling apart, right? This thing weighs several tons. If I read the collision rules right, he’s going to take 20d6 damage on impact.”

Negotiations and rule consulting followed, followed by a drive check and a failed dodge check, followed by Naru rolling 103 points of damage.

“You crush him flat and his Hunting Horrors too,” Hanzo said. “Unfortunately, killing him means he comes a second time in his monster form.”

Naru stared in surprise.

“Also, you ran over Amelia, squashing her flat; roll sanity check, losing d10 on a fail and d4 on a success.”

She succeeded and dropped two points to 57.

“He comes forth as the Bloody Tongue, since I have the stats for that one, a huge humanoid but with a giant tongue for a head. Roll sanity, d100 loss, d20 on a success,” Hanzo said, grinning.

Umino dropped to zero sanity; his character rolled around in the passenger’s footwell of the truck, gibbering. Naru blew it and dropped to 12 sanity and was overwhelmed by homicidal mania. Minako didn’t have to roll; her character was *dead*. Rei made her sanity check and lost 1 point, dropping to 59. Ryo didn’t have to roll as his character had already fled the room. Ami lost 22 points, dropped to 29 and her character developed a fear of tongues and fled, then realized she had a tongue *inside her mouth* and collapsed, gibbering.

“And then he leaves, right? As it says on page 328 of the rulebook?” Rei said.

Hanzo consulted it, then sighed. “Yes, he vanishes, cursing you all. Osaka, you want to kill, so you drive out the other wall, turn around and come after Hino.”

“I’m sorry, Rei,” Naru said.

“I jump onto the hood and shoot her dead, then jump off,” Rei said, sighing.

“That won’t be easy, but…”

Rei made the Hard check to jump on the hood, then scored a critical hit, killing Naru’s character with one shot, then her character slipped, fell and twisted her ankle.

A luck roll, however, kept her alive but trapped when the ceiling collapsed as the truck took out more of the wall. Ryo’s character fled never to return and Umino’s died in the crash. Ami failed her luck roll and died too, leaving Rei the only survivor.

“Sorry, guys, sometimes things get ugly in this game,” Hanzo said. “But you did get extra victory points by taking down Nylarathotep. Eighty extra.”

“I know, it’s why I touched the pillars,” Minako said, grinning.

Rei stared. “Wait, you knew the victory point conditions?”

Minako whistled idly while blowing a kiss to the air.

“Dammit, you have a boyfriend too!” Rei said.

“Wait, what?” Naru said.

Ami buried her face in her hands.

“I foresee Rei chasing Minako across the con,” Ryo said, but he didn’t need psychic powers for that.

Man, I am losing my touch, Umino thought. He would badger then later, when the chase was over.

They got third place, which mollified Rei somewhat; it would have been first if everyone hadn’t died (running into the woods had gotten Ryo eaten off screen). But now she had new problems to deal with, like the whole boyfriend thing.

For now, though, she would just bask in glory.

#Fanfiction #Sailor Moon

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realpokefarmconfessions · 3 years

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The mods let my core's (we are a system) abusive ex who I reported several times vague us in his journal and TC and didn't do jackshit about it. I'm also account locked until I choose to reconcile but that was partially per request, and we were about to leave pokefarm to get away from him. He literally blamed us for him being suicidal when all we did was throw him out of our life like the bitch he was. He threatened to burn down our house because I reported him after violating a DNI. I am account locked indefinitely until I choose to come back and talk about it (The mod who handled this was actually really sweet) and it seems like they're more trying to tell us 'hey you can come back when you chill the fuck out' tbh but that's aside the point. This went on for about 4 days and I had reported him because we don't want our name being ruined, and nobody came. He kept lying. And I know his user ID through stalking ModWatch, so if I see him ever be unlocked, I'm gonna be pissed. I was locked for 'extremely inappropriate dms' with him, which I can understand, but he blamed us for him being suicidal to make us feel bad, so we said 'Good luck with that', and in my memory, that is the worst we got, aside from reminding him that he called me a 'toxic bitch' for not wanting to affection core did, and telling him to essentially (not exact wording, I'm not checking pfq for a while) fuck the ever loving hell off.

HE THEN threatened to report me because I was calling him out for vauging in my TC, and passing it off as 'venting'. He said I took his only friend with him, who is another system, who left him because they disapproved of his ableism.

The following is a direct transcript of one of his posts.

'hhhhhhhh i just read the message my hella abusive ex sent me that was very clearly meant to make me sound like the bad guy in this situation even though i obviously wasn't. he called me toxic and mentally abusive multiple times just because I told him to stop treating me like dirt and now it's making me feel like I'm the one who was wrongggg. this isn't helping my already extremely fragile mental state especially when I have nobody i can talk to about it.. if anyone has tips for getting over this kind of thing please just.. message them to me. And if he's told you anything bad about me he's just trying to ruin my life more than he already has. don't listen to him.'

this message is honestly making my fucking brain rot. Even with our collective imposter syndrome and always believing we're the bad guy, I know that I'm not. I would send an entire google drive of proof, but that'd count as doxxing, so I'll have to send censored screenshots of shit he said on site. said. For more context, I am an introject of the system, basically an alter who is based off of something else, and I find it a pain in the ass to tell people, and he got pissy when I didn't tell him who I'm an introject of, as he isn't entitled to know jackshit. (also bro fuck the hell off you're fourteen and this was an online relationship, we didn't ruin your life by telling you to grow the fuck up.)

For more context, though physically speaking, I am a minor and so is our core, I am based off of a grown adult, even if I don't act like it, and was uncomfortable with his affection. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

I know I literally asked to be account locked, but I swear, to honest FUCK, if I see this bitch online EVER AGAIN I will fucking scream. He then turned around and bitched in his journal about us being the abuser. What does this kid have to gain from lying?

And why did the mods NOT FUCKING DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW?! I'm not even mad I got locked until I can reconcile, as I took him out with me, it seems. But yeah, if you've seen someone 'venting' in their journal about their 'abusive ex', this is what REALLY went down. (Btw, he didn't try, he said 'sorry' like that excuses his actions, when Echo, one of our other alters, tried time and time again to teach him on dissociative disorders, he still called us fancy kins on discord and shit)

For context he got pissy when I told him to respect my boundaries.

The fact this bitch got away for two seconds pisses me off. I'm really sorry for ranting. If you saw a user 'venting about his toxic ex' recently, this is what he really did.

#submission #pokefarm #pokefarm q #pfq #pokemon #I’m so sorry this took so long to get posted

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mahoushoujjo · 6 years

Text

Intro

Okay so, for those of you who don’t know! I’m Brianna!! I’ve been Amy’s best friend since I was in 6th grade and she was in 7th. Throughout these ten years I’ve been super incredibly lucky to come to know what an amazing person Amy is. I’ve been with her through all her rough patches, all her good times, all her bad times, her relationships and her breakups as she has been with me. It’s pretty safe to say that we are inseparable at this point lmao.

That being said, I was one of the witnesses to the trainwreck that was her relationship with Mudkip. One of the closest witnesses because I actually was there for one of the big events that happened that I will discuss later on in my post.

I’m making this statement because I absolutely hate when abusers are let off the hook from the horrible things they do. It sickens me that people like Mudkip are allowed to continue living their normal life after wreaking havoc and damaging anothers.

Amy dated Mudkip from November 2016 to the summer of 2017. They met through a mutual friend on Overwatch when Mudkip joined the discord server we were all members on!

Notice: Each section will begin with a quote from Amy that relates to the point of the section. There are receipts to all of the incidents mentioned. If anything is wished to be disputed or if someone needs proof I would be happy to send screenshots. Happy reading!

Pushing Boundaries and Not Respecting Wishes

Things were rocky from the beginning. Mudkip constantly flirted with everyone on the server even after Amy repeatedly told them that she wasn’t comfortable with this. Mudkip would come to me for “advice” while sending me out of context screenshots of their and Amy’s conversation making Amy seem like the bad guy. Mudkip continuously flirted with me and tried to get me on their side. I would be lying if I said that I was never even slightly deceived by her. Luckily, like a rational person I would go to Amy right after and ask what was happening and get the full context. This never stopped Mudkip though. I have screenshots of message after message of them ranting to me about Amy overreacting and “acting out of line.” After a while I started getting fed up with this constant talking behind Amy’s back I told them to basically back off and that I couldn’t be in the middle of things anymore.

However, that didn’t stop the breaking of the boundaries. I remember one particular night, after all of the flirting drama and explaining that it went against Amy’s boundaries, I got a call late at night from Amy. She was crying and wanted to talk to me alone. My (now ex) boyfriend was there at the time so I put on some warm clothes and went outside in the dead of night while it was snowing just to speak to her alone. She was sobbing and having a panic attack because Mudkip was telling her about how they thought that a specific Korean singer in a music video was “sexy” and “hot” and how the video turned them on, and even though Amy was obviously upset about those statements, Mudkip continued in explicit detail. Amy had discussed over and over before with Mudkip by this point about how she didn’t want to know who Mudkip found hot, and especially not details, because of Amy’s rough history with exes cheating and similar situations.

There were many other situations radically similar to this one that I would be glad to bring up if asked but for the sake of how long this already is I’m leaving it at that.

The Great Discord Split of January 2017

“my ex even encouraged me to never talk to my best friend again, who i have known since i was 12. luckily for my best friend and i, we ignored that and made up.”

It only got worse after that moment honestly. Personally in my life I was going through a lot of things. I was being forced to move out of my apartment and leave my life in Dallas behind. One of my close friends and I were in a feud and it was affecting me more than I would like to admit. I was depressed and anxious and crying every day. Yet here comes Mudkip causing drama yet again.

I wasn’t too involved in this drama because I was dealing with so much in my life so I’ll just say exactly what I know. On the discord server there was a slightly annoying dude called Phantom. He was usually online in the early morning hours only because he had work or something, and if someone didn’t like him he was pretty easy to avoid. Mudkip decided that he was a true burden to their existence and basically said “Hey, if you don’t kick Phantom I’m leaving the server”. I guess they expected everyone to be on board with this even though a few people on the server were close with Phantom and didn’t necessarily want to kick him despite his annoyances. When the owner of the server, a super good and close mutual friend of ours, didn’t comply with Mudkip’s request they went absolutely mad.

They basically turned against the entire server. Of course this meant, because Amy was dating them and didn’t want to lose Mudkip, Amy was turned against us as well. Amy was encouraged to not talk to me by Mudkip and this lead to a HUGE rift in mine and Amy’s friendship. We didn’t speak for almost a month because of Mudkip. This made me feel like shit because at the time, it just felt like I was losing everything. But also it sucked because I was watching my best friend be manipulated into doing whatever Mudkip wanted.

Luckily after a while me and Amy started talking again despite Mudkip’s efforts to split us apart. However it did take Amy a while to begin talking to the rest of the server again. After Amy did come back to the old server, Mudkip was jealous predictably and complained about “having no friends” even though Mudkip had isolated Amy from all of these people before...

Mudkip’s Ignoring and Pettiness Towards Me

“if me and my ex were skyping, and my ex went to sleep, i would mute myself and call my best friend often, and look over and see my ex awake and glaring at me. just sitting here. staring me down. as i tried to have one conversation with my best friend.”

While me and Amy began talking again, this apparently really pissed off Mudkip. We were at one point pretty buddy buddy. However after the big discord rift things were never the same between us. Or just in general if we are being honest. I’ve never seen someone get so affected by a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things.

Mudkip would purposefully ignore me and overall just treat me like shit after the discord drama. It was as if suddenly I had become a huge threat to them or something. Amy was repeatedly told to not tell me that she loved me because “it was weird for friends to say that” or that It made it less special when she said it to Mudkip. It should be stated that Mudkip told me a number of times that they loved me in the past and that they would also flirt a lot with me. But for some reason Amy telling me, her best friend, that she loved me was wrong? Seems fishy.

When we would all play Overwatch together I would be spoken over or just flat out ignored by Mudkip. I’m a Lucio main and for some reason Mudkip would make it a point to comment on how good a Lucio other people were while I was there. I would never get acknowledged when I made good plays or even get a thank you for heals. It was like I wasn’t even there. Mudkip also would make underhanded comments directed towards me and whoever I brought with me into the group. This upset me quite a bit because it made me not even want to play Overwatch with my best friend because it was no fun being treated like shit by Mudkip.

A number of times I “slipped” and said something affectionate towards Amy during the times I would play Overwatch with them and Amy would tell me that Mudkip would private message her telling her to let me know to tone it down or just stop all together. A lot of the times I just left the party.

It got to the point where me and Amy couldn’t even just play Overwatch just me and her anymore. Mudkip always had to be there. If they weren’t they would have a huge depressive, self-pitying meltdown to Amy to where eventually Amy would let them in the party just to shut them up. When they would join the party they Would Just Not Talk. It was silent on their end. There was no attempt to even interact with either of us which made everything extremely awkward.

Then there was the fact that if I ever went to visit Amy Mudkip would get jealous that I was there. They would comment to Amy that they didn’t want me sleeping in the same bed as her (the only other option was a cat pee soaked couch) and that they wanted alone time with her. Even though. I was VISITING.

Eventually I began living with Amy. Sharing a bed has never been a problem with us because we have known eachother for so long that it’s just not a big deal. And honestly, it was sleep with Amy or sleep on the couch which was covered in cat pee because of the years of cat pee abuse by a very naughty cat. However to Mudkip this was the end of the world. I specifically remember a conversation Amy showed me of Mudkip literally asking if I could sleep on the floor and that they would be willing to buy me a sleeping bag. Like???? I’m sorry. I’m sleeping with my best friend thank you.

THE VISIT.

“my best friend was living with me at the time to escape her abusive living situation with her parents. my ex of course had never been happy about that. the first night i picked my ex up was fine. the next day? preluded an entire month or so of living in actual hell.”

Like I mentioned earlier, sometime in April I began living with Amy. Around May Mudkip was set to come visit her for an entire month. (Amy was then set to go to New York for a month, then Mudkip back here. Thus concluding the entire summer) This had upset Amy as well because for one thing, Amy had not explicitly consented to the entire summer being spent with Mudkip but Mudkip had booked it anyways. Secondly, because of all the things I stated above, things were not exactly peachy keen between them two. Amy was constantly complaining about them and just pretty much dreading the entire trip. At the time though, Amy and I had thought that there was some glimmer of hope that things would be okay and things would work out and go back to normal since we would all be under one roof.

We have never been more wrong.

There are really no words to accurately describe the events that happened during that month. I’m being truly serious Like. I’ve never been more frightened and annoyed by a person. I’m getting ahead of myself though. It all began nicely enough. The first night was good. Mudkip got here, we all said hi and greeted eachother and went to bed early after chatting a bit.

The next day things went bad. As if ignoring me on Overwatch wasn’t enough, I found myself getting the silent treatment to my face as well. When me and Amy would have a conversation, Mudkip would not even attempt to pitch in or say anything. They would give both of us the silent treatment, do a little pouty face, and just sit there. They just seemed to want all the attention to be on them.

I’m not an unreasonable person, I did realize that they were a couple. I didn’t want to get in the way of intimate moments or any alone time they wanted to have together. It was not like I was asking to be involved in everything at every moment of the day. I constantly asked Amy if I should leave or if I should give them some space. Amy never wanted me to, especially later on when Amy was afraid to be alone with Mudkip. So I just stayed with them.

Amy was really troubled by Mudkip’s lack of care to engage in conversation with me and when we were all together, so Amy started acting distant towards them. It was sort of “an eye for an eye” thing. Mudkip was acting distant towards us, Amy acted distant towards Mudkip. This led to a lot of very obvious crying from Mudkip. I don’t mean like, a few tears. I mean like. Very loud sobbing coming from Amy’s room. If they weren’t loud sobbing in Amy’s room, they was silent crying in the living room in front of both of us. This only made us more uncomfortable and quite frankly, if I didn’t care for Amy and it was my house I would have just asked them to leave right then and there.

Mudkip never talked to me. For a week it went on like this. It got to the point where eventually me and Amy decided to confront her after they once again, isolated themself in Amy’s room and sobbed. We discussed all our behavior and talked about how we can make things better for all of us. I reassured Mudkip that I didn’t hate them and I was perfectly fine with hanging out with them. They just sat there with a sad face and didn’t really say much if anything at all honestly. Me and Amy left, and hoped for a better tomorrow.

Unfortunately that was not the case. Things never changed. Day after day happened with me being ignored. The silent treatment, the passive aggressiveness. Sure there were some times where we would all KIND OF get along. Such as the night we stayed up until 8am binge watching the entire series “The OA”. Even then, if I can remember correctly Mudkip was annoyed by that because Amy didn’t go to bed with them that night. (BECAUSE WE WERE ALL WATCHING A SHOW!!!! ALL OF US!!!) I can’t stress this enough, every day was fucking awkward.

Mudkip would also do this thing where they would just. Not shower! They would constantly text Amy in the middle of the day, in the living room with all of us hanging around to ask if she wanted to shower with them to initate sex. When Amy said no, Mudkip would just. Not shower. I’m pretty sure throughout the entire stay Mudkip only showered twice. No more than three times. And when they did shower, cue once again the loud sobbing and what sounded like the banging of her head on the wall.

No one was happy. Absolutely no one. Amy was unhappy because of Mudkip’s horrible attitude to not being the center of attention at all times, Mudkip was unhappy because they wasn’t the center of attention, and I was unhappy because I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. I’m a pretty nervous and anxious person, and having someone around who very obviously is turned off by your presence just made everything really bad for me!

Most of the days leading up to the grand finale of the visit are a blur. Amy began sleeping all day due to depression. Me and Mudkip were often left alone awake. I WILL ADMIT! Me and Mudkip had at least two good days together where we went grocery shopping and made smoothies. It wasn’t bad and honestly, I wish it could have been like that the entire time. But again, two days out of the month that Mudkip was there. Two. Days.

As soon as Amy would wake up though, it went back to the same shit. It was just so stressful and if anyone wants more examples PLEASE don’t hesitate to contact me or Amy. This is already pretty long so I’m just going to cut off there to get to the GRAND FINALE.

THE GRAND FINALE!

“we were frantically calling suicide and self help hotlines and websites, asking for help with the situation. then it got quiet.”

Eventually. As any sane person would, Amy got fed up with this routine. After multiple failed attempts to gently convince Mudkip to go home, especially since we couldn’t afford to feed all of us well let alone go out and do things, Amy finally decided it was time to break up with her.

Oh man guys. This was a wild time. I’m going to sum this up as shortly as I can.

Amy broke up with Mudkip while I was hanging in the room I was sleeping in at the time.

Amy walks into the room with her laptop to hide out and give Mudkip space since they did just break up.

Very shortly after we began hearing very loud screaming and banging coming from outside the room.

Amy went to go check up on Mudkip only to find Mudkip sprawled out on the hallway floor sobbing.

Amy sat with Mudkip for a little bit then came back into the room.

Mudkip was screaming. Crying. SCREAMING.

Me and Amy were panicking and going on multiple different HELP websites as we could to get advice on the situation, but since it was around 4am, we were getting little to no help. We didn’t even have the money to send them home.

Eventually we hear a really loud bang, and then later on a call from Mudkip saying that they had went on a walk. At 4am. In a city they doesn’t know. A city that doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to being safe! They said that they were walking, they didn’t know where they were and were lost. Me and Amy began freaking out. Mudkip said that there was someone watching them. Eventually after everything was settled and Mudkip said they were heading back we hung up the phone.

At this point me and Amy were freaking out because they were just. Wandering the streets sobbing! Once again! At 4am! Eventually we get a text from them saying that a COP! A COP PICKED THEM UP! The cop had seen them and asked if they were in an abusive situation. They had said no but the cop had escorted them back anyways.

I just want to point out that this could have been very bad for Amy and I had the cop decided to follow up and escort them to the door and question us. Not in the sense that we would have gotten in trouble or anything but it would have been really awkward explaining to a fucking cop what had happened that night.

For the rest of the weeks to come, I’m just going to put an excerpt from Amy’s testimony thing here.

“i wanted my ex to go home. you would think they would have booked a flight after being dumped, but no. i couldn’t afford to feed myself st this time, let alone buy a ticket. we had a whole nother week of awkwardness, a week of my ex leaving suicide notes and scary letters out on my Pillow For Me To Find, a week of finding blood in my shower & broken towel racks, and hours of listening to my ex scream and cry in my room, before my ex finally left. i had to break up with my ex an additional time in that period, and only then did my ex finally call their mom to get them a flight home.”

I want to elaborate on a few things here.

We were dirt poor. And because Mudkip was here we couldn’t exactly just. Get jobs! And leave Mudkip home alone! We were living on literal scraps and pennies!

During this week or two, Mudkip acted like things were fine between them and Amy. They would constantly try and snuggle and kiss and hold Amy while we were all in the living room together. (They wouldn’t and couldn’t go home I guess, so we had to include her in things.) This made both me and Amy SEVERELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

When they did finally shower, we would hear banging and sobbing as usual. One particular time they were taking a very long time in there. We got concerned and checked on them only to find that they were laying on the floor of the bathroom.

When they came out I had to use the restroom. I walked in there and saw a blood splatter on the shower wall. That was my breaking point. I wanted them out. Like, how dare they do that? It’s a fucking shower as well so it’s not like they had no means of cleaning it. They wanted us to see! They wanted to guilt Amy even more than they already were!

Shortly after, Amy drove home that they were breaking up, and they left as mentioned above. And thank god too. It was like instant relief.

THE AFTERMATH

I’m going to keep this short and sweet since this is a very long essay and it’s around 1am right now.

After Mudkip went home, Amy wanted to continue being nice and civil towards Mudkip since burnt bridges aren’t always the best thing. However, Mudkip took this as Amy wanting to continue trying to be in a relationship with them.

As if none of the past month had ever happened, Mudkip would continuously text and even call Amy at all times of the day. If Amy didn’t respond Mudkip spammed her phone with literal hundreds of texts and calls wondering where she was, what she was doing, why she wasn’t answering.

Mudkip would send messages to Amy saying things like, “the moon is so pretty out tonight! but not as beautiful as you!” and “boop! :3 (when amy didn’t respond to this they messaged again with) you don’t like my boop? :(“. They also on one occasion sent an explicit message on tumblr which made Amy very uncomfortable.

Message after message was sent to a very annoyed and NOT INTERESTED Amy, but Mudkip never got the hint. Even after Amy would repeatedly tell them that they were crossing boundaries!

If Amy was asleep and didn’t respond, Mudkip called. Mudkip texted. Mudkip probably wanted to call the fucking cops who knows. Mudkip did nothing but OBSESS over Amy for weeks after they went home.

Recently a hurricane hit our area and Mudkip somehow even used THAT to try and get back together with Amy. they told her, “hey i’m probably going to go down to texas soon to help out the harvey victims!” This obviously wasn’t true. This was just a scheme to try and reconnect yet again with Amy.

Basically, that was the ridiculous last straw and I ended up sending her a harsh call out on twitter and her contact with Amy and anyone really associated with her dropped to almost none.

That was my account on the situation. It left not only me emotionally drained, but it really took a toll on Amy too. I’m not saying we were perfect in the situation, because we weren’t. Things could have been handled differently I’m aware of that. However, what Mudkip put us through was inexcusable.

#abuse tw #emotional abuse

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ekgrey · 7 years

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Yuri!!! On Ice is More than" Just Gay Ice Skating"

Y'all, I apologize in advance, I use mobile tumblr so I can’t put a “read more” line, and I am about to GO OFF.

So tonight, whilst I was on discord playing some games with some friends of mine, the topic turned to the crunchyroll anime awards. The only male in our group, who we shall call X, was the one to bring it up and the conversation went as such:

X: Yeah, Yuri!!! On Ice won like everything. Me: I know! Well, everything it was nominated for at least. XD X: It even won best animation. (**Please note he said this with a very sarcastic tone**) Me: Umm…yeah, I know there were people who were upset. Honestly, yeah, there were some other anime’ that might should have gotten it, but YoI had the bigger fan base. X: Which is shit *even more sarcastic and snotty* Me: Uhh…well, I mean, I DID have really good animation. And– X: Yeah, only on certain specific parts. Me: (You mean like every other anime ever??? They always pull out super good animation for parts they think are extra important) X: Whatever, it wasn’t even that good. I’ve only ever heard girls talk about it and they only like it cuz it’s gay. That’s all it is: Gay ice skating. Me: *biting the hell out of my tongue* It’s done fairly well with straight guys too. X: HA! Where’d you get those statistics. Me: 😡😡😡 (those are red pissed off faces, in case the emoji’s don’t load) My dear sweet friend who’s always reasonable: Hey, I mean, it DID win all those awards. That has to mean something. Me: Look, you don’t have to like it, if you don’t that’s fine, but just because you don’t like it that doesn’t mean it’s not good or that the only reason people liked it was because it was gay. X: Whatever, it had the same tired story all sports anime do, I couldn’t stomach more than 2 episodes. Me:😡😡😡😡😡😡😡(these are more red pissed off faces)

Never mind the fact that it offers a realistic and relatable character who struggles with self confidence and anxiety. I think I saw it put best on animenewsnetwork’s “What’s so Gay About Yuri!!! On Ice?”

“Yuri!!! on Ice stars two complex characters of the same gender who harbor a directly sexual and romantic attraction to each other, in a relatable story that does not fetishize or exoticize these feelings. That might not sound all that complicated or unique by itself, and I definitely have to add the Big “But” that this answer is based entirely on visual cues rather than any direct text as of the show’s first quarter. (As in, the characters have not literally turned to the camera and said “I’m gay” or “I love you” to each other yet, although variations on “I want you” have definitely popped up.) Still, that bolded sentence alone sets Yuri!!! on Ice apart from the vast majority of anime, even ones that might have queer themes or openly gay characters.”

I’m sorry for this long rant but I am just so frustrated and annoyed because I have loved EVERY SECOND of Yuri!!! On Ice. And you know what? YES, I LIKED THE GAY. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? I’M QUEER!!! AND ANY SORT OF GOOD QUEER REPRESENTATION JUST REALLY TICKLES THE FUCK OUT OF ME. But guess what else? I also loved the characters/aspects of the the show that weren’t necessarily represented as gay/queer. I loved the representation of Yuuri’s anxiety. I loved the look into Figure Skating (a sport I knew nothing about and now LOVE). I loved FRICKIN JJ. I HATED HIS STUCK UP BUTT AT FIRST BUT THEN I SAW HIS SWEET GIRLFRIEND AND FAMILY AND HOW EVEN HE COULD BE EFFECTED BY NERVES AND PRESSURE AND ASDFGHJKL! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS SHOW OKAY???

I legitimately break down in tears EVERY SINGLE TIME I watch ALL of the routines in the final episode because every single character worked so hard to get there and even though they all took different paths and came from different backgrounds, in that moment, they’re united by their love of skating. Everything is a culmination of the blood, sweat, and tears they put in and the character development and lessons they’ve learned.

So, NO, Yuri!!! On Ice is NOT “just gay ice skating”.

It is a realistic representation of Life and Love.

AND it is gay ice skating. So kiss my ass.

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