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bluravenite · 11 months

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slight rant/vent

Though I'm also posting on twt at @bluravenite in case you want to interact with me outside of hate anons

Yk there's probably hate anons going around all the time but it's been really apparent this past week that some people genuinely don't know to shut the fuck up... I have stopped posting with the same frequency as i was bc i am working on commissions and drawing takes time but i might just keep a more sort of closed parasocial relationship/ treat Tumblr more as a portfolio than as social media if that keeps happening... Sorry that i rant in here a lot but it's genuinely exhausting sometimes when most of your mutuals on this app are getting rude anons...

#it's genuinely worrying bc it really makes you question what kinda people have it against u/ur friends #like why cant you just leave some people alone #and it makes me feel guilty too for wanting to also protect/defend my friends?? you know nothing about these people #but thats never an excuse to be such an asshole to people #once talked with someone who had me blocked here and they told me they didn't remember why but “clearly my values didn't align with theirs”#that still hurts because my values have always been to make this page safe for everyone #posting my silly little doodles and hoping it means something to people #because right now?? THIS is the closest I'll ever get to my dreams #so it really sucks that the closest thing to being a concept artist and freelance illustrator is seeing my friends getting hate for nothing #i might actually close comissions for the public after this... 1 because i need higher prices for my work #and 2 because i am unfortunately scared that im never gonna be good enough #because people who draw cant catch a fucking break sometimes #sorry for the rant again #raven vents

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myrkkymato · 4 months

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this is just some unnecessary shit, sorry

I just need to rant and complain (and maybe hear some insights on this because I'm so lost). I might be getting an autism diagnosis, and I'm so lost thinking about my life and identity. I know diagnosis doesn't change me as a person but it would change how I relate to the world and people around me. I'm sad and angry and disappointed at... I don't even know, me? That diagnosis could explain so many things but I don't feel like I fit the image. I don't even know what information I can trust to be correct about autism and what it really is and I'm so confused. I asked about it, filled some questionnaires and now got told that it's very likely. I'm so scared that I've accidentally manipulated them.

I have to figure some stuff out, but I'm scared that it's seen as "oh, so is this you acting/learning to be autistic now?" because that's kind of the vibe I'm getting from some people around me.

I know I must have internalized prejudices or something because I'm reacting this way but for some reason I'm sad and frustrated with myself because art must be my number 1 special interest because that whole thing has been so obsessive and almost like addiction and I'm so frustrated that I'm not any better at it if it's really been a special interest of mine for so long. I have cried so so so much today because of it

#I don't know how to talk about this and if i'm being insensitive towards others #so if i say something wrong please let me know #possibly autistic #autism #i just want to scream until my lungs burn or run until my legs can't carry me anymore #sorry for the rant again

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fleapit · 3 months

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can we pleasee please please stop fucking fearmongering and blaming trans men for the predstrogen situation. please god. posts about "trans men teaming up with terfs to get trans women banned!" with zero sources all over my dash. blaming "transandrophobia truthers" for all the transmisogyny. have you all lost your fucking minds?? what the fuck happened to t4t??? what the fuck happened to trans solidarity??? why is "transfem separatism" even a subject worth entertaining????

anyone who says other trans people are the enemy is a fucking fed. jesus christ

#my blood is fucking boiling right now and my heart is breaking #i keep seeing people go off the deep end with 'trans men arent oppressed! trans men face no discrimination because they have male privilege #its the fucking 2010 “trans men are betraying their female gender!” shit all over again!#transandrophobia #fleapit's patented rants #sorry im just. so sick of it.#saw it from a fucking FORCE-MASC BLOG like are you serious???

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imfinereallyy · 10 days

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Steve and Eddie don’t get together for awhile—in fact it takes them longer than most people expect. It’s not filled with miscommunication and longing though. Instead it’s a slow build to falling in love.

Steve and Eddie do grow close after the spring break from hell. In fact, they would come to consider each other best friends (second only to Robin, as under the friendship agreement she made Eddie sign). But they fall into an easy sort of friendship, finding more things in common than just the kids eventually. They share a love of weird, eclectic movies, cars, weird food recipes, and even books. They teach each other about the stuff neither one would ever dream to be interested in.

Eddie learns about sports intensely. To the point, he joins a softball league with Steve and Robin (she is only team manager, there to look at the pretty girls who signed up).

Steve learns all about music. To the point he wants to learn an instrument. He wants to learn guitar at first, wanting to share Eddie’s love for it but finds it’s not for him. Instead, he takes up the drums, much to Robins's reluctance.

It’s simple between them, despite their history (both upside down and non-upside down alike). It’s not something Steve has with anyone else, seeing as most of his friendships involve a complexity that he can’t even understand himself.

It goes on for years, supporting each other through nightmares, heartbreak, grief (Eddie), and a sexuality crisis (Steve). They get tattoos together, take odd classes at the rec center together, and eventually share an apartment together with Robin in Chicago.

Robin tries to convince Steve for years there is something between him and Eddie. But Steve denies it, and he really means it.

Eventually life changes, their friendship stays strong but things are bound to take new shape.

Steve moves out to live with his boyfriend of a year. Eddie helps him, even cooks dinner for the two of them in their new apartment. They’re all friends, they hangout all the time.

Months pass, things seem okay, fine. Then, a year and change passea. Things are a little sour. Steve and Eddie’s friendship stays strong, but Steve seems to have problems with his boyfriend. Eddie listens because he cares; he loves Steve, and Steve loves him. They’re best friends; they would do anything for each other.

Including telling your best friend that maybe this guy isn’t good for him.

Steve doesn’t react poorly, just small. He shrinks in on himself. Like he knows Eddie’s right but doesn’t want to agree. Instead, Steve smiles sadly and moves on.

But Eddie doesn’t hear from Steve for a month.

It drives him insane; they haven’t gone that long without talking since Eddie was in a temporary coma. He’s worried he might have cost himself a best friend. Robin had moved in with her girlfriend a month before his talk with Steve, so Eddie was left to his own devices in his new one-bedroom apartment. Spiraling about Steve.

Robin said he was fine, and Eddie should believe her but he can’t help but worry.

He almost cracked and went to Steve’s apartment, keys in his hands ready to storm the castle.

Except….

When Eddie throws his apartment door open, there’s Steve, hand raised, ready to knock.

He looks exhausted, with two bags under his eyes and one bag in his hand.

“Hi.” Is all he managed to croak out before falling into Eddie’s arms, which had been open and ready for the sweet boy.

After the crying had calmed down and they had moved to the couch, Steve explained everything.

How Eddie had been right, Steve and his boyfriend weren’t good for each other. How he had been isolated from everyone except Eddie and Robin. How the last month, the fighting had only escalated. How things had slipped from just arguments to unforgivable words and actions.

How Steve was worried that everyone would choose his boyfriend instead of him.

Eddie rushed to ease his worries and offered to beat the guy up. It made Steve laugh.

Steve tells him he doesn’t have anywhere to go, but he’ll get out of his hair. Maybe go to Robin’s.

Eddie insisted Steve stayed and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

That’s when things start to slowly change.

Steve promises to look for a new place right away, Eddie says it’s no rush.

The first night, Steve tries to sleep on the couch, but Eddie pushes him to the bedroom, insisting they can share. It’s not like they haven’t before; it’s nothing new.

Except it is.

Suddenly, the days pass, and Eddie can’t fall asleep unless Steve is beside him. And Steve can’t stay asleep if Eddie isn’t there.

It starts off on respectful sides, but pushes into tangled limbs in the middle of the night, to finally just snuggling into each other's arms even before they fall asleep.

Everything else is the same….yet somehow different.

It’s like every little thing they do together brings a new kind of joy. Even boring things like doing the dishes or laundry seem so much better with Steve around.

They start to know each other’s habits, even more so than before, with how little space there is now in the apartment. Steve knows the exact place where Eddie always forgets his keys and the way he stretches his spine when he’s tired versus the way he does when he’s bored.

They fall into a lovely pattern of warmth and a type of love they can’t quite place.

They both don’t talk about it, but Steve ponders on it often. Why it feels so different now? After all these years? It hits him one day that it isn’t because he loves Eddie any less or more than he did a few years ago. No, it’s because they both have grown, and changed from who they used to be.

And so has the love between them.

Steve and Eddie, at 19 and 20, could never have the love they have now for each other, for the type of people they were then. Their love was platonic, wholesome, and what they needed then. Steve could not love the kind of man Eddie was then, and vice versa.

Now though, grown and changed but somehow still the same, their love was something new and bright.

Steve only smiled at the realization, not in any rush to move forward. Just enjoying his time with his Eddie.

Eventually, though, Steve stops looking for a new place, and Eddie never asks him to leave. Everyone refers to the apartment as theirs and not just Eddie’s. Robin stops making sly comments and instead smiles happily, almost fondly, at them when they gravitate toward each other. Eddie asks for Steve’s advice on how to deal with the landlord. Steve opens the mail regardless of whose name is on the front. Months pass, and suddenly, Steve is turning 28, and Eddie has a cupcake with a singular candle on it.

“Make a wish, sweetheart.” Eddie says, the soft glow of the flame lighting up his face.

Steve smiles softly at him and leans in. It’s not a risk, in the end, to kiss Eddie. It should be nerve-wracking and scary to change their friendship. But it’s not—it’s easy.

Their lips are soft as they lightly kiss. Steve whispers against Eddie’s mouth, “Don’t want a wish. I have everything I need.”

Eddie huffs a laugh across Steve’s lips. He says nothing—he doesn’t need to. Instead, Eddie leans in again, capturing Steve’s mouth once more.

#uuuhhh I was feeling soft #this is more of a Drabble?Rant? than a ficlet #but idk I’m in my feels #I like the idea of geniune friends to lovers #instead of just they were never really friends just jump to lovers #although I like that too #just wanted to shake it up #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #my writing #platonic stobin #ao3 #ficlet #friends to lovers #sorry for the tense changes #again it's more of a rant

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duchessonfire · 2 years

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I have been reading a bit on the OTW elections and the whole Tiffany G thing, but most of all, I've been reading comments from people supporting Tiffany saying that she just wants to clear AO3 from all the CSAM (child sexual abuse material) content and I don't know who needs to hear this but:

If someone comes to a predominantly QUEER space (like AO3) and tells you that censorship is necessary to eradicate CSAM... it's not actually CSAM they want to eradicate...

I've seen this type of discourse about Pride and about queer literature and queer movies and queer communities. It's a tried and true technique of the right and conservative movements.

First, they say there is a DANGER to the community through CSAM and they conflate the actual threat of CSAM in the community (we all know someone who thinks that writing a love story between two characters who are 16 is CSAM...), and make you believe that censorship is the only way to PROTECT THE CHILDREN. And since most people are (rightly) mind-bogled at having to explain that of course they don't support CSAM content, they bow down and accept the censorship for the greater good, without anyone actually trying to have a conversation about what qualifies as CSAM (which needs to, you know, actually involve real children and not fictional characters who are 17 and losing their virginity with their crush in a Mature-rated story about high school football and first love based on the author's own experience of losing their virginity at 17 to their crush in high school).

Then, they tell you that there are other forms of DISTURBING CONTENT, and what they really mean is porn that THEY find disturbing, for ex, (and I kid you not, I have seen comments like that) porn featuring disabled characters, which they consider to encourage the exploitation of vulnerable individuals, or BDSM porn (which supposedly encourages violence and lack of consent), or rough porn, or any kind of porn that isn't two (preferably white and skinny) able-bodied people doing it missionary style while lovingly gazing in each other's eyes. SO TO PROTECT VIEWERS, that needs to be banned as well.

And then, they tell you that even that sanitized version of porn is still porn and that people under 18 or under 21 or under whatever age they consider too young to view anything sexual regardless of the fact that not all countries have the same law about the age of maturity, should be free to surf the site without having to *gasp* filter out properly tagged works. So TO PROTECT THE CHILDREN, every explicit content is censored.

And then finally, when all that is left is a sanitized, white-washed, ableist, puritan type of content featuring General-Audience approved gay works of two nice men or two nice women holding hands and chastely kissing each other on the lips... Well guess what? :) CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO QUEER CONTENT SO WE NEED TO BAN THAT AS WELL, and since we've basically done purge after purge before and there are still a handful of people on the website, well surely they won't mind/care anymore, will they?

It's not just a slippery slope, it's something that has been done time and again, and that is why censorship on AO3 will never, never have a positive outcome.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#otw elections #ao3 #sorry for the rant #but i'm tired of seeing the same BS again and again #tw cp mention #censorship

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wiw3 · 2 years

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The Illusion of Obligation; Manifest Procrastination

Hi hi! I’m trying to keep up with my writing but it’s become as if I’ve reverted back to my wizzordic persona of mind snakes, or whatever the fucking metaphor was. Hiding behind metaphors does make things easier to understand. It gives us a universal ground to break collectively as people, or is it ice? I can never remember.

I’m doing... well. I’m doing okay... fine, maybe... a little less, as I think more about it. Thinking about how I’m doing has usually always resulted in me letting the air out of that tire a little bit, as if it’s to keep myself in check, but that’s not what I’m here to babble about today.

I’m writing a Western. It’s a gritty Western that takes a darker look at the South, which has been done time and time again, but not the way I plan on doing it, but if I don’t sit down and get some writing work done on it, I’ll never be able to finish the script.

I’m not even stuck on a particular scene, my brain is just melting from the idea of working, and stopwatches aren’t helping right now. I don’t have writer’s block, but I do have a major case of procrastination. I know what I want to write, I know what characters I’d like to introduce to the script, but it’s so late at night, and I’ve procrastinated so much that any further, I’ll be pulling an all-nighter just to get maybe five fucking pages done.

Those are the thought cobras, in earnest.

And it’s my own fucking fault, to be honest. I’ve manifested my own unending plight and blight of procrastination by giving myself the illusion of responsibility and obligation to fulfill that responsibility.

I plant carrots in Project Zomboid one day, and think that it’s my job to wake up tomorrow and ensure that they’re growing just fine, instead of writing a script that could very well be my claim to fame if it’s good enough (which I doubt it will be, you never know, though.) I love writing, and it’s always a freeing mind-exercise that gets me off of whatever hyperfixation I’m currently magnetically transfixed upon engaging and feeding.

I need to strengthen my mind, to eat more fish and to consume any other knowing brain food and to simply... write my movie. It’s fun to write, and rewarding to write, in the way I let my mind free to roam the plains of Clark County, Mississippi, during cowboy times.

But I need to put my imagination to rest. I just knew that if I went three whole days without writing a thing, my brain would slip into a deep depression. Not today, I made a blog post today...

So I’m going to choose to smile, for right now. I can work on my movie tomorrow.

#writing #screenwriting #procrastination #blog post #sorry for the rant #gaming #project zomboid #carrot #carrots #agriculture #movie #movies #writing a movie #illusion #deranged #sorry for the rant again

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nanstar200 · 1 month

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Hi gueys 🧍 (run away again)

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markscherz · 3 months

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tumblrs being transphobic, with the ceo himself starting an actual harassment campaign against a transfem & also banning transfems who post abt it.

Oh shit, I had not heard about that.

I would like to say I don’t understand why this shit keeps happening, but I actually do understand it way too well. It just makes me so sad and angry. Especially on a site where people find and make their communities.

So much of this is about ego, and the people with power wielding that power to protect themselves and failing to protect others with it. A mere hint of negative sentiment towards them is harassment that is dealt with immediately and harshly, but a dozen complaints about discrimination or threats or bullying take ages to process and frequently come to unsatisfactory moderation decisions.

Whatever the sentiments of the people running this hellsite, you are always welcome in my corner of the internet, wherever you find it. You are all wonderful, and we all deserve to feel that part of this space belongs to us and those to whom we can connect.

Transphobia has no place on tumblr, period. Or anywhere else in society for that matter. It is that which should be being rooted out.

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slugcatt · 2 months

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You know what.

Fuck it. Im saying it. It's probably been said before but i dont care

A concerning amount of rain world fans hate mentally ill people and characters.

The way Five Pebbles gets written off as a "bad guy" so much just shows.

What he did isnt murder. Murder would imply it was premeditated. Murder would imply it was malicious. It was not malicious, it was not premeditated, it was not murder. Moon was not murdered.

It did get better with Downpour but still. FP should not be on the villians wiki. Especially when the categories the page is in are these

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shawkydokey · 5 months

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it's time to go home

#signalis #lstr 512 #ariane yeong #back to that time of the month when I'm posting mass unpublished sketches and arts to my tumblr #will be slowly filling this account with recent arts again #they were right gue kira semester ini mudah ternyata mudah mudahan kaga tipes #what having pubkar and studio and experimental art in the same semester does to an mf #sorry for ranting here but i want to explode

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sophsicle · 4 months

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OKAY question

i wanna reread choices and edit it but i can never make myself do it cause im like "ugh wow so long i simply cannot"

but also, every time i do reread parts of it i have like *thoughts* like SO many thoughts about it and about what i was thinking at the time and how that has or hasn't changed and what i was trying to do and what i love and what i hate and blah blah blah

SO the question: if i did like a lil read-a-long with soph thing, would anyone be interested? like maybe in the form of small podcast episodes where i discuss the chapters as i edit them and you guys can like tell me the different stuff you want me to talk about etc etc and then i will have the motivation to actually do this and also somewhere to dump all of my *thoughts*

or is that like, a stupid idea that no one asked for? i cannot decide whether this is leaning more on the fun cute side or the annoying keep this to yourself side, Y'KNOW????? so i ask

#like in theory i could do this on tiktok like a normal person #but tiktok terrifies me and i don't wanna #or i could just write posts about it #but i feel like that is going to be infinitely less fun to me than just like #going on lil rants #like extended public voice notes #but again maybe a horrible idea idk #sometimes i just WANT to talk about it like in depth because im a nerd #and i wanna love it again #okay sorry im done now #soph rambles #choices

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hg-aneh · 5 months

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Yo, I don't know if you know this but your work is being posted on Pinterest

I sort of knew but never really cared about it until now-?

-lots of angry feed up whining below... and a bit of a breakdown-

Just a few hours ago I saw the comments on some of them and holy shit tiktok children are some of the most braindead individuals i have ever seen

I'm fine with reposts, and if I wasn't, I know I wouldn't be able to stop them

What's pissing me off rn is that my stuff is getting attention from *that* crowd, the booger eating snot nosed mocosos de mierda who are so privileged their main problems are "what's skrimblo skromblo doing now? omg is it problematic??? omg theyre like so evil 💀💀"

I- they're still fucking going with the Crowriel thing- How cool, how fun, totally not making me want to disappear again bc of all the trauma from that particular mess, nope, not at all

And the angel crowley x demon crowley thing- i swear to fucking god i- they're so dumb- they're so stupid- how is it incest you- they're the same person🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉

I even saw some little shit saying "omg i used to like that artist until i found out they draw nsfw" ... WHAT IS HAPPENIGNJDNGKDBG??????¿?¿¿????¿

I swear I'm going insane, I wish I could take my shit away from those people, they're so-??????

Like I'm legit about to enter another joker era, I can't believe this is what fandom spaces are now, what is wrong with people

Sorry I'm using this as a vent post or whatever but honestly I'm tired of being subservient when it comes to these fucking people, at one point a bitch has gotta explode

"Why do you care so much about what ppl say abt you online"

Because I have Seen what happens when you shut up about it. You either address it indirectly or become tiktoklovr103892's punching bag, there's no in between. Each second of silence is an admission of guilt for these motherfuckers

And I know that at the end of the day it doesn't matter but bro just allow me to be emotional over having an online space where I can have fun and take a break from life, be riddled with people who I've seen talking like they're praying for my downfall

Seriously what the fuck

What. the fuck.

.

Now if you'll excuse me

#rant #vent #i fucking hate what fandom has become #aneh answers #aneh wont shut up #sorry again #this poor anon skgnkdhm

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ilostyou · 11 months

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personally i just think i would be so much better off as a whole person if i didnt constantly think i were fundamentally like. unlovable unlikeable etc

#sorry to get somber again but im having thoughts alright!#rambling #this has been a rant

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fujii-draws · 6 months

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Fear

#pmd eos #pmd art tag #pmd Dusknoir #Riolu/Aimilios #dadnoir #<<(until it goes downhill)#hero/partner being afraid to physically be close to Dusknoir is a fun hc #in this case Aimilios. he wants to trust Dusknoir again so so badly.#but he can’t help but flinch. but feel terrified.#and Dusknoir knows this. it makes perfect sense for Aimilios to fear him.#still. it hurts. so much.#sorry for the rant in the tags I just love thinking abt the conflicting dynamic between these two.#after everything Aimilios still wants to be close with Dusknoir.#they both want to be close again.#but it’s going to take so much time. to get to that point again.

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butchgambit · 2 months

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i wish some of y'all gambit fans would recognize that him & rogue aren't a couple yet in the show. i also wish y'all would stop projecting an unreal version of him that lives in your head onto his canon character. the amount of people, especially men specifically, I've seen saying he's been cucked, cheated on, or is a groveling simp is surprisingly growing and it's just clear y'all have no idea who he is as a character if that's what y'all think is happening. the amount of people I've seen call rogue derogatory terms and saying so much nasty things about her too is genuinely so disgusting to see. they aren't together yet, they aren't dating, they aren't a couple.

y'all simply don't understand these two characters and choose instead to take what you see at the most minimal face value and run with that. y'all forget how terrified rogue is of killing him with her powers, how terrified she is of her feelings for him, of everything. and on the other hand, y'all forget how gambit is devoted to her, how he understands her limits & what she's dealing with, and most of all, y'all forget he doesn't see himself as redeeming. he doesn't see himself as worthy of being hers, of her being his.

X-Men 97 is literally a continuation of the original cartoon, there's been no big time jump, it's literally the Next Day. for the love of all that's good, try to understand the characters in a more nuanced light and stop being misogynistic & petty over them.

#gambit #rogue #x men 97 #x-men #x men #remy lebeau #anna marie lebeau #like y'all are pissing me off with this so bad #its why i refused to interact with fandoms in the first place and its making me want to stop again #sorry for the rant but i genuinely cant stand it anymore and its only gotten worse #ember is typing...

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blackbirdffxiv · 4 months

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Listen, I'm just gonna offer the best gpose tip anyone has ever told me...

If the clipping is happening out of view

Then clipping doesn't exist.

This is the same for crunchy limbs, crunchy elbows, weirdly posed cloth, etc.

Clipping happens. Clipping in gpose is an unavoidable thing. The sooner you accept clipping happens, the happier you will be trying to gpose.

Yes I know it's not easy to accept. Esp if you're very hard-wired to correct any errors, or if you're a perfectionist (like me).

But I promise you, eventually you just stop caring about it.

And if you point it out, or any flaws on someone's gpose when you were not explicitly asked for constructive critique, on someone's gpose I hope both sides of your pillow are warm and that you stub your toe on something different every time you get up so you can never avoid it.

#ooc #Mun Rantings #I am sorry again for being negative on main but I am very very mad because someone decided to try me this evening #Fun fact: I hate being told how bad my shots look when I DIDN'T MCFUCKIN' ASK #Listen here if I wanted an opinion I'd bloody ask for it #Clipping and shit happens get the hell over it you don't have to be a shit and point it tf out

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