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#sorry can you tell im making my way through the nt?
chirhos · 2 years
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For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NIV
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slaytimesover · 2 years
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Getting the C**NTS back together
—————
made up text chat between the euphoria gals, set after the finale & minus (SPOILER) fez getting in the shootout
I JUST WANT MY GIRLS TO BE HAPPY BROOOO
content: wholesome, tryna be realistic w how they text
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March 1st, 2021
Maddy: hey anyone
add cass back i still have the bitch unadded
Kat: bro don’t u know her username
Maddy: no this is my new phone rmb
literally showed u in class today:/ rude mf
Kat: shit sry babe
Maddy: </3
*Kat has changed the chat name to cassies hot tub vomit💯💯*
Maddy: HAHAHAHAAAAA GTFO
BB: 🤣🤣🤣Funny ash Nahhhh Kat
Jules: uMM bro how come idk anything abt this…
story time ???
*Kat has added Cassie*
Cassie: Um what the fuck guys….
Kat: SORRY CASS THE OPPORTUNITY WAS RIGHT THERE
BB: Can still Smell that shit on me ICL🤣🤣😂
Maddy: 💀💀fucking helpppp
Jules: I STILL NEED THAT STOYTIME ???
Cassie: Can I ask what the hell is going on
Is this new or smth? Also the names not funny
Jules: new as in … like 3 months old then ye
Cassie: WTF
Not a single one of yall has talked on the other chat for ages is it bc u guys were fucking here?
BB: Ya we have
Jus like u banged Nate for Ages n Shi 💀💀
Kat: out of POCKET
Maddy: LMAO BARBARA
Jules: PFF
no hard feelings tho cass :)
we all wanna meet up soonish
Maddy: yup friday at 8, my place
sorry this fkn introduction was brutal but babe we wanna properly get together again
all 7 of u cunts
Kat: 7? there’s 5 in the gc🤨🤨
Jules: wait wait wait can we like BACJTRACK to the cassie hot tub thing??
Cassie: No Jules we really can’t
Also Maddy are you sure?
Maddy: girl puked her guts out at my party after drinking herself half to death <3
sent me into fkn cardiac arrest ill tell u that
love u though babe
and yes ofc. we outta put this past us
Cassie: MADDY!!! Girl!!!!
Jules: LMAO POOR CASS
no shame in it weve all been there ❤️
Cassie: Shut upppp
Tell me if I’m ever gonna hear the end of that story…
Maddy: @Kat forgot to add em but i want rue rue & lex there too
going full out bitches
Kat: cass keep dreaming lolll
BB: Jule boutta see her Ex Yooooo😫😫
Kat: fuck fuck oh yeah
are yall cool now? i saw u two tgt after the play
BB: Play was Fire Though Lexi Ate🔥🔥🔥
Cassie: …
Jules: uh
well
that’s the question 😃
Maddy: jules b what happened?
Kat: yeah ive been meaning to properly check in holy crapp
Jules: we aren’t seeing each other anymore in that way, & maybe its for the best but im still processing it yk?
it was… weirdly calm even after the intervention bullshit went down
ig we had an unspoken agreement that we shouldnt be together
even if theres still love between us
its hard to tell where we stand is all im sayin
Kat: shit dude i hope ur okay
Maddy: yeah…
so much respect for u
itll get better n itll be worth it <3 i promise
wish i coulda realised that on my own, ur fuckin fearless
Cassie: I hear you Maddy
I’m happy for u Jules
BB: Go Jule 🙏
Cassie: I mean, if ur all okay then I’ll come
I really want to make amends I don’t know what had gotten into me
I feel terrible
Maddy: a friend told me that in her experience, it was just the right amount of attention at the wrong time, yh? anyways girl i kno u deserve amother chance even if u fucked up
& jules
same goes for u n rue, how abt we all hang out like old times and see where it goes on from there hm? pretty pls
Jules: i cant promise that itll nott be awkward but im down mads!
Maddy: bettt
*Maddy added Rue and Lexi*
Lexi: uh hello
what is this gc name 😭 don’t remind me omg
Kat: 😹😹
Maddy: okay listen up girls, my house 8pm friday, not optional so clear ur shit. no excuses.
& im talking to u lex with that fez mf
Lexi: noo stop💀
BB: She Blushin through the screen on Godd LOL
Rue: wait hey what’s going on
Maddy: rue rue
we wanna come together like the olden days & properly have a girls night
think we deserve a celebration after the shit weve been thru this year
Lexi: really?
thats sounds so nice I like that !!
Kat: ur play def sealed the deal for us dude<3
we fr just need a big catch up & some actual fun
Jules: literallyy
Maddy: everyone in fr?
Lexi: yess
Cassie: Yes
Jules: yep!
Kat: ofc
BB: Yass
Cassie: Rue?
Lexi: um I think fez just took her phone hold up
Jules: NOT YOU WITH FEZ AGAIN AHHH
Rue: YO WHO THE FUCK IS CASSIE AND WHY SHE THROWING up in the bathbutt
Kat: man said bathbutt😭😭
Rue: TUB*
Tu(/(/)£&&&@&@&&&@@@@@@@
Sorry55555555555555 that was fe££&&
FEZ TOOK My phone sry guys
Maddy: sadly were not inviting fez </3 shame we can’t meet the bf lexi but rue come join us brooo
Rue: i mean…
we can try
lotsa shit went down between us tho are u all good?
Cassie: Yeah, & we can just take it step by step anyways
Jules: yepp, i wanna see u all
no matter what
Rue: well
ill try n be there
so sure guys:)
BB: YOOOO It Worked
Maddy: ahhhhhh! cant fucking wait
god i missed this bs<3
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floatinginwords · 3 years
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Saved by the Devil (15/?) - Tommy Shelby
Summary: More stuff after Epsom and a bit of of Tommy pov. (im sorry about these summaries im terrible)
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (Romantic)
Warning: Mention of death and blood.
A/N: Not my best but yea. im getting the hang back i think? i dont know...feedback would be great. thanks for reading and hope you all have a good day and are treating yourselves well. 
  The drive was quiet.  Neither of you two spoke and honesty you were glad for the silence. Your thoughts were loud enough as it is. Polly didn’t drive you far until she spoke or more like laughed. It sounded like a mad women’s laugh. Your stomach did flips as you could recall the laugh at your stay in the asylums from time to time. You don’t dare look at polly hoping her eyes stayed glued to the road. You didn’t want to see any glint of madness that was in her eyes. You didn’t want to ask any questions that might just pop out of your mouth. You had enough running through your mind. You had your own shit to go through.
Once you entered the city part you could see that the path polly was taking was to Adas. You didn’t want to go there.
“Polly, you can let me off here.” You say, looking at some random street corner.
She scoffs “Its getting dark and you wanna walk the rest of the way? I thought you were smarter than that.”
You don’t say anything. She continues speaking, “Just tell me where you wanna go.”
 “just pull over Here, Polly.” You say.
 She doesn’t say anything as she listens to your orders. She looks a bit annoyed but you don’t have to explain yourself. You leave the car and take one last look at Polly.
 “Thank you. I appreciate it.” You say.
 She nods. “You should call Tommy when you get home. Im sure he’ll want to hear from you.”
She starts the car and leaves you by yourself. You watch the car fade in the distance. You think of Thomas wondering if he’s dead or nt. You shake your head at the thought. You cant afford to think of that right now.
You walk the route that you’ve memorized that is Trinities place. Your there in no time. As you go through alleyways, hiding in the shadows, not wanting to take any chances. You know now that your paranoia was not just something to torture you.
You run up the stairs. Ready to pound on your best friends door, take what you needed and say a quick goodbye. But her door is ajar. You take the knife off your thigh holster, kicking your shoes off incase of a getaway and walk in slowly.
 The apartment is a mess. Books and glass litter the floor. Furniture is upside down. Curtain torn down. Blood stained on the walls. You gulp as the blood stains lead you to the bathroom. You follow. And your heart breaks as you see Trinity her face toward the ceiling. She looked dead with all the blood that covered her neck but her shallow breaths told you she was still holding on. You drop the knife, fall to your knees, struggling to hold the tears that you thought had already ran out today.
 “…(y/n)..”trinity struggles to speak, blood splats out of her mouth.
 “don’t speak. Don’t worry its gonna be alright. Its gonna be-be okay.” You looked around the bathroom, it was in such dissary you didn’t know what supplies you could use to help her. Though you knew that the amount of blood lost was too much. It would not be okay.
 Trinity grabs your shirt and brings you close. You can smell the copper in her breath. “Leave. Its- its under the-the painting.” She whispers. Her grip loosens and her stare loses focus. You sob into your friends chest.
  You look under the only painting that Trinity had in her apartment Its of a little ship sailing in the sea. You never understood why she liked it. You take it off its hook and find a moderate sized hole that holds the bag of contents that you had asked her to hide for you. You finally had everything. It was time to finally leave. You took one last look at your friends apartment feeling bad you couldn’t give her a proper burial. You know she didn’t have a religion. You grow resentment that no one in this apartment building helped her. You find a match in her drawer and some alcohol. You make a trail through the apartment down the stairs of the building. Not before leaving with some of her jewelry and dress. Needing something to remember trinity by. You light the match and throw it with ease. Th building lights up in flames. You could hear the screams pleasing for help. But you walk away heading toward the train station with a heavy heart.
 Tommy’s P.O.V
 Thomas was taken to a field. His face a mixture of boredom and anger, his soon to be killer don’t care what he feels. Hes been on the other end of this and he didn’t are what his victims felt. He thinks of your face. The way you called his name. He wonders what your doing, if you got home safe. Surely you did. His brothers, Polly, one of his many loyal employee would have sought to it. That’s all that mattered. That you weren’t here facing the type of death that he was about to.
He asks for a last cigarette. The captors allow it watching him descend into an anger that he can no longer hold in. He was about to have everything.
‘Well not everything’ he thinks of the night where he almost got to kissed you and what a missed opportunity that was. He should have gone after you told you how he felt then. But it seemed to be to late as the man pressed the gun to his temple. He will make his piece with death. I mean how could he not when for so many years, he has been the reaper for so many.
 But instead of the bullet going through his skull, marking the end of Thomas Shelby’s life, he’s pushed into a grave and two shots ring off. One assassin stand while two bodies drop. He lays in the grave, confused and very alive.
The standing assassin simply says, “At some point in the near future, Mr.Churchhill will want to speak to you in person. Mr. Shelby. He has a job for you.”
For a moment he is stunned. He was so content with the thought of death merely moments ago and here he was alive in a grave meant for him. The man tells him to go. And Thomas wastes no time walking away toward a life he fully intends on enriching and keeping for a long time. Hopefully you get to be apart of it too.
Read pt.16
tags
@babylooneytoonz @captivatedbycillianmurphy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @evelyn-4034  @ms-dont-care  @owenniasstars @shikin83 @lauren-raines-x @cactisjuice
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border-spam · 3 years
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-- Uroboros log - Encrypted E-Call - Or8cle / S0litar3 - source Commercial trade vessel ID 122-J-Prom / Cpt - Seifa A’rosk / SAVED blame=GKT --
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(Mid CoV, Ven belongs to @hieroglyphix and JK to @godkingsanointed)
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See - I mean of all hthe things. Of all the things you coudl have warned me about in the last what. 4 years now of this? Of telling each other things tht mattered? You could have said nt to take a swing at Troy's stupid fucking face.
See - Hurts so much to type this. God excuse the typos tbh im not doing grea t.
See - I got everything I need tho I'm gd. Take it you know where IM heading yeah? Figure as much at least. I hope this was the right call, Ven. I really hope this was the right choice. Weird cause ive run this through so many times in my head u kno? Wexactly stept by step what I'd do what would happen where I’d go. Shit packed up and stored for a year now, but hey you do actually know that, huh.
See - Feles like my stomach is gone, dropped out of me somewhere back in the cathedral or something. Feels like imnot really here like this whole thing is a dream and I'll waitke up at my desk with a 20 messages I cba reading and a pot of takeout noodles one of you left for me. This doesn’t feel real but it is aint it. Nothing outside the hull cept empty space and silence.
See - Never thought I'd hatee silence, Ven. Wish you were here filling it.
See - Look after JK. Watch out fo rthem. please. Eli is good I;m not worried, you always got Eli, Eli will outlive me I think, probably all of us with how loved he is. But watch out for JK primise me. They love Troy so much that they'll try and pull the monster off his back and that thing is going to be screaming now, Ven. That thing is going to be looking fo sr someone to rip in half and it's not me anymore stanidng in the way of it because I couldn't do it anymore.
See - I'm so fucking sorry man I couldn't do it. Not anymore. I coldnt. Put it off for so long but he was taking everything I had and there was so little left, and then what WAS left he .. he hurt tonight so bad.
See - Been crying for hours now bit Im not really crying you know? tears just dripping down. Can't stop them. Stupid really, eyes hurt.
See - Ven you ever think how funny it would be if verything had been juwt that bit different? Like not this not the COV. Us tho we could have. Like think about it we'd be unstoppable, me and you hahaha. We'd run this fucking galazuy if we wanted, can you imagine. Some bar somewhere we own with a lil casino, luck always somehow on our side? PAir of us could have wrapped anyone we wanted round our fingers we'd be a joke. We'd be terrifying. Could have owned shithoels like Pandora with a little time and a little work. Scam the riches off all those bastards, fucking XAN, oh my god. Leave the prick with nothing, man it would have been so eASY for me and you. Just me and you.
See - Could have saved some kids. Worn ourselves as who we were proud and free not hidden under rules and titles and whatever the hell kind of fake Gods we tried to walk the paths of. It would have been funny wouldn't it Ven, me and you.
See - But Then I think, you know? About how that affects everything tlese. Eli? Without this life Eli wouldn't be here would he. Not now.
See - God sorry, my hand is killing me I'm putting on speech to text.
See - Would JK be alive? Would they have found their lady and their family at all without that cancerous bullshit of a life we joined.
See - And with what he is now still, Troy wouldn't. I know that. Maybe Ty would be, and idk if she would even be something I could CALL Ty, but he'd be dead. I don't know if what I am is worth that. If like. My happiness in some other life, some other choices, is worth all these losses.
See - Maybe that's what it means to care, right? Me and you we get that, don't we. Caring so much about people you want to tell yourself you don't need but you deep down know damn well you'll fade away without. Maybe it means you always sacrifice yourself in the end, your choices, what you could be, what someone else could be with you, all for the people you find yourself loving.
See - Ven I am very drunk right now this was meant to dull the pain till I got base side but whew.
See - Wish this thing had emojis
See - :ass:
See - aww man.
See - Listen.
See - Don't hate him. I think maybe you already can't because you knew, all along, warned me what 2 years ago? Knew and I still saw the way you'd look at him like he was that kind of horrifically embarrassing younger teen brother who's insisted on hanging out with your friends and is SO cringe but you all kinda love him anyway? I know that haha. Don't hate him. You had a terrible life, but Ven, he's had none. Nothing.
See - Idk how much he's told you really, it's not for me to tell, and if you don't know everything, like how they grew up, what happened when they first got here, the things he had to do to make sure she would be happy? Find out. Wait till the monster subsides and he's broken and alone and just. Take that chance. Find out.
See - No one ever really understood why I put up with it all for as long as I could, and I guess I still sound like a moron rn when ur reading this. But if you know, I think you'll understand.
See - Cause me and u Ven. We are so close. man. We are so the same. You're better than I could ever be, but you understand who I am, and if you can understand who I am, you'll understand why I can’t give up on him once you know.
See - Tell E I love him so much. I'll be off grid for a while, gimme a week ok, and then I'll send a vid call and we can all talk.
See - Sorry I won't make it tonight.
See - Sorry, Ven.
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-- Encrypted contact ends --
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The Zone
Peter Parker x bisexual!reader
Peter Parker x fem!reader
Peter Parker x black!reader
Peter Parker x villain!reader 
Warnings: Mentions of violence, bruising, allusions to corrupt government, drug use, underage drinking, knives, mentions of neo-nazis, bad eating and sleeping habits, a mention of sex, mentions of death and the dead. 
Word Count: 3.7k
Songs: Changes- Charles Bradley, 4 Morant- Doja Cat, Prey-  The Neighborhood, Stay Together- Noah Cyrus, Without me- Eminem, Colors- Halsey, Where’s My Juul??-Full Tac, Pork Soda-Glass Animals, Everyday- A$AP Rocky, Facts- Kanye West,  Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?, Immortal- J.Cole, High Enough- K,Flay, Drugs- UPSAHL.
A/N: This is pretty short but it’s also the fasest I’ve released a chapter after the other was released.
Series Masterlist   Previous Part   Next Part
I smashed the keypad multiple times with the handle of a knife before the metal finally fell. I pulled all the wires out before hearing the words ‘System Malfunction’. 
If I hadn’t disarmed the alarm system already. I’d probably be worried right about now. I manually slid open the cell door. 
That’s when she glanced up at me.
“Took you look enough,” She smirked. 
“I could’ve gotten you out sooner if you didn’t get your ass locked up in solitary,” I tossed her the Black Cat suit. 
“You know I still don’t know your name or what you look like,” She stated pulling the suit up “and I don’t think that's fair seeing as you know those things about me,” She cooed. 
I pulled my mask over my face “It’s Y/N. Happy now?” 
“Wow I always knew your voice sounded attractive, matches the face,” 
“Okay, we can kiss my ass later but now we have about 2 minutes to get out before the guards come and get us,” 
Leaving the building the same way I came in through the vent. You’d think they’d have better security. I was thankful they didn’t when we finally reached the car. 
“Who’s car is this?” Felicia asked hopping in the passenger seat. 
“Dunno,” I said, putting the car in the drive. 
“Hold on tight,” I warned before ramming into the fence at full speed successfully knocking it down. 
I was definitely not holding my breath that whole time. And I definitely was not doubting myself. Okay maybe I was, a little.
“I’m surprised that actually worked, none of this was planned at all,” I laughed in relief.
She laughed along with me 
“Plans are for the ‘good guys’, if you’re smart enough you don’t need plans,” 
“If that’s not the truth,” I replied turning onto a deserted road “You owe me again, I’m not counting, but I believe the score’s 3:1,” 
She was right, you never need a plan. Second moral to the story is that even “villains” never work alone. I know I always talk that “every man for themselves” mess but everyone needs a support team. And for people who supposedly have no morals they haven’t betrayed me yet. 
There are the bad guys and then there are the bad guys. The heroes didn’t seem to care which you were, they just wanted you locked up or dead and to get all the glory for it. I think it’s time one of us gets the glory.
“Ow!” I exclaimed, pulling myself out of my thoughts. 
“Sorry,” Olivia muttered, “You need to be still,” She said, dabbing a cloth on my leg. 
“Well it’s hard to be still when your leg is burning,” 
I was expecting some jab or joke like normal but it was silent. She looked up at me and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. 
“Y/N…” Her eyes drifted over my bruised and cut up body, her voice breaking. 
“You don’t have to worry about me, I promise I’m fine,” 
“How am I supposed to believe that when you won’t tell me anything?”
“I don’t tell you anything cause then you’d worry,” 
“Well I’m already worried!” 
The next day of school was very ordinary. Well as ordinary as it got when you were a kid who was wanted in multiple cities. My body wasn’t as sore as it was the day before, the bruises were clearing up, but honestly these new weapons were no joke. I’d seen them burn straight through buildings and a ferry now. Anyways like I was saying before today was ordinary, nothing exciting unfortunately. 
Rich kids in Queens take homecoming a little too seriously. For the most part, I’m not complaining penthouse parties were fun. Rich white kids love their molly. 
Harry Osborn was one of those rich kids. If we’re being honest I feel like he does coke on occasion. I don’t think he actually liked homecoming all that much seeing as he’s pretty new to our school. I just think he likes being able to brag about his parties and get wasted at parties. 
One of those parties would be the one I was getting ready for right now. 
Olivia walked into the bathroom and stood in the doorway. This bathroom was very modern as well as the whole house. Like an art gallery.
“Hey kitten,” I said since she wasn’t going to say anything. 
“Hey,” 
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I asked.
“You know how I feel about Harry’s parties,” 
That I did, her dad and Harry’s dad seemed to have some sort of beef. That I didn’t care enough to get into. But Olivia's family took it pretty seriously. I guess I could say Felicia and Olivia’s family. It’s still weird to see them as siblings. It’s not surprising, just weird. Just a weird family of kleptomaniacs. 
This isn’t something I say often but I looked really hot. Like really fucking hot. I had even winged eyeliner. A nice black tube top. A pastel pink tennis skirt. I had black thong type thing on, you could see the thin straps resting on my waist from above the skirt. It wasn’t like I was trying to get fucked or anything because I was not planning on being the slightest bit of sober. 
I also had thigh high socks on but only because they could conceal a knife and I’d been on high alert lately. Just because I wasn’t going to be sober didn’t mean I couldn’t protect myself. It's a sort of muscle memory when it comes to knives, at least with me 
If I wore this anywhere near the kids at my old school they’d probably call me a wannabe white girl, but those kids aren’t there and they have no part of my life anymore. 
I just wanted to get so fucked up that I couldn’t think at all. 
I couldn’t help but think. That’s all I could do lately. My brain wouldn’t slow down to let me breathe for even one second. I just wanted to breathe and go to bed. I still can’t sleep. At least now I have a valid reason. I don’t like talking about it because it’s not a big deal or anything, but today is the anniversary of-. It’s the day Rose died. No use sugarcoating it. It passes every year, no use being in my feels about it. Couldn’t help it though, every year I’d get sad about it for about 5 minutes until I did so many drugs that I couldn’t blink. 
As soon I stepped into the house. I was hit with the buzz I hadn’t felt in a while. I missed it too. It wasn’t like Liz’s “party” her thing could’ve been fun but the whole headache, Vulture thing and lack of drugs made it suck. 
Anyways who cares about that. I’d been at this school long enough to know who had molly. I’d either have to flirt with them or pay which I was down for either. 
See I knew the chewlery gem rod I had attached to a necklace would come in handy one of these days. Now I wouldn’t bite my mouth. 
Only problem is I could still think.  Which wasn’t good. There was some sort of jungle juice on the table but I just went straight for a bottle of beer sitting on the counter, because I was shaking too much to pour anything. 
Beer has to be the nastiest form of alcohol out there. It looks like pee, tastes like pee, it’s like they didn’t bother trying to mask the taste of yeast in it. 
My body was vibrating in a good way as I started talking to people. By the time I’d made small talk with the third person around me. I’d finished the beer and I went back to the kitchen to fill a cup with some form of alcohol and soda I wasn’t picky. Harry must’ve had the same idea. 
“Hey,” He said. 
“Hey, where’s your groupie,” I said referring to the blonde that’d I seen around him earlier. 
“You mean Gwen?” He said, bringing a solo cup to his lips. 
“Probably,” I moved over grabbing the orange soda next to me. 
“Why’re you wondering, jealous?” He asked being his signature flirtatious self. There was this one time that we… you know. But we were both drunk so it doesn’t count. 
“You wish I was jealous,” I rolled my eyes “We both know you're the one obsessed with me,” I laughed. 
“Yep, dream about you every night,” He joked back. 
I took a sip from my drink squinting as it slightly burned my throat. 
“I’m sure you do,” I headed out of the kitchen. 
I could feel my brain slowing down as I started to calm. That was until Facts by Kanye came on. Then suddenly it felt like my blood was boiling in my veins and I couldn’t breathe and not in the good way. I made my way to the nearest bathroom and hoped no one was making out in there. 
I opened the door and the coast was clear. 
I splashed water on my face. When I looked in the mirror my pupils were dilated and my face was flush. Normally my skin tone masked the effects of blushing but not this time.
 I wasn’t drunk. Maybe I was but I wasn’t enough. I was still laying on the bathroom floor because it was cold and felt good in contrast against my hot skin. I was going through my phone and landed on Peter’s number. I texted him because I was bored and I can text whoever I want. 
you: helo 
About thirty seconds later he responded, guess he was already on his phone. 
P 😜🤚: Hey 
you: do yuo like pengwings
pengns 
fck 
penguns 
penguins 
He read the messages and responded rather quickly 
P 😜🤚: ? 
You okay? 
you: yesh im fine d you like penfuins 
P 😜🤚: Are you drunk 
you: no im nt drunk i m jst hPpy 
P 😜🤚: yeah sure, where are you. 
Before I could think, I clicked the option to send location. Even if I did think it wouldn’t have done much help. None of my thoughts were coherent. I was actually happy, like really really happy. 
I was still laying on the ground when I felt the floor vibrate with the knock at the door. 
“Who is it?” I asked. 
“Peter,” The voice called out
“Come in!” I said in a sing-songy voice. 
He opened the door slowly and looked around before looking down at me. 
“Hiii,” 
“Hey, what are you doing on the floor,” 
I shrugged after slowly pushing off the floor so I wouldn’t lose balance.
“How’d you get here?” Since I know he couldn’t drive. 
“I got an Uber,” 
“That’s adorable,” 
“What’s adorable,” 
“You, you spent money on a ride just to come see me,” I pointed out, voice cracking halfway through the sentence as tears started to well in my eyes. 
 “Wait don’t cry, I’m sorry, did I do something? If I did sorry for whatever it was-” 
“No you didn’t do anything, it’s just me,” I moved a hand off the counter I was holding onto for balance before wiping my face. I don’t cry, at least not willingly and definitely not in front of anyone else.
“Well I was going to…” He fiddled with his hands before continuing “I was going to ask if you needed a ride because I didn’t know if you drove here or not and you’re clearly drunk-“
“I’m not drunk!” I said. “I don’t drink how could I be drunk,” 
“Okay, but like I was saying do you need a ride?” 
I was going to say I didn’t want to leave yet but it’s not like I was doing anything but being pathetic and hanging out in the bathroom. 
“Fine, yeah” 
Peter opened his mouth like he was about to say something but a knock on the door interrupted. I immediately opened the door and grabbed Peter’s wrist running, for no reason except I felt like it. I bumped into a couple doorways 
By the time we’d made it out by the pool Peter was hunched over trying to catch his breath. 
I started running toward the water and I could hear a faint 
“Y/N don't!” As I was running but it was too late seeing as I was already in the water. I laughed as I broke the surface as I floated on my back. 
Peter came over to the edge of the water and squatted down. 
“Y/N” 
“And nothing hurts anymore I feel kinda free!” I sang splashing around in the pool. 
“Y/N” 
“We're still the kids we used to be,” 
“Y/N!” Peter yelled, snapping my attention back to him. 
“Hmm?” I asked. 
“You need to get out the pool,” 
“I don’t wanna,” I whined. 
“Yeah I know but don’t you wanna go home?” He asked. 
The last place I’d ever want to go is “home” 
“No, get in the pool,” 
“Y/N,” He said sternly. 
“Pleaseee,” 
“Get out the pool it’s cold you’re gonna get sick,”
“Fine…” I made my way begrudgingly to the steps of the pool. 
Peter gave me the hoodie he was wearing so I was able to take my skirt and socks off. I put the knife I had in the hoodie pocket. 
The last thing I remember is getting in some car. 
Oh shit 
I woke up in a room that I did not recognize. I swear to God if I got kidnapped again. I sat up quickly and hit my head on something. It was dark but there was a nightlight. Thank God if we’re being honest I’m scared of the dark. Long story I don’t wanna get into it.
I was definitely hungover, headache prominent. It only worsened when I stepped out the room and the light from the TV hit my eyes. I glanced over to Peter laying on the couch. 
Oh yeah I forgot about that. 
“Hey…” I whispered. He shifted a bit “You awake?” 
He sat up and looked at me rubbing his eyes before bombarding me with questions. 
“Did you- Are you okay? Does your head hurt? Do you need painkillers? Sorry that I brought you here and didn’t ask. That's really creepy but you were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you because you seemed tired. Again sorry it’s just I didn’t really even know where you lived and I was-“
“Oh my God, shut up!” I interrupted. 
He looked stunned, blinking a few times. 
“Sorry,” I held my hand to my forehead in exasperation. “Sorry, it’s just you- you were making my head hurt.” 
“Oh I’m sorry,”
“No, I promise it’s not you, if it’s okay with you can I go back to sleep? I don’t really feel like going home right now,” 
“Yes of course you can!” He sat up and pushed the blanket off of him before standing. “Wait I’ll be right back,” He said. I nodded before hesitantly sitting down on the couch. 
He came back rather quickly with a glass of water and some painkillers. I mumbled a quick thank you before taking them. 
I yawned, surprised that I was able to actually feel tired. Normally it took at least a few hours before I could sleep if I even got the chance. 
“You can take the bed,” Peter informed. 
“I just wanna stay right here,” I said lazily. 
He tried to scoot over but I already had my arms wrapped around him so I squeezed him tighter. I looked up and his face was tinted red, smiling before I drifted off. 
I felt light hit my face and I heard the squeak of a door. I sat up and slowly unwrapped my arms from around Peter. Walking over towards May. 
“I’m sorry I didn’t know if it was okay for me to stay here I should’ve called and asked,”
“No, no it’s perfectly fine,” 
“Okay…”
“He talks about you all the time you know,”
I smiled at her and she smiled back.
“Thanks for not killing me for being in your house,” I joked. “But I should probably get home anyway,” 
I didn’t go home. Mostly because I don’t have an actual home. I didn’t go to any of the almost 13 places I’ve stayed at, at some point either. I went to some shitty hotel. I had enough money to stay for about a week. Which was great I could stay for all of homecoming week then I’d have to find somewhere else to stay before I got more money at least. 
The last step for this day was go to Olivia’s house and get my stuff back. I made my way into the house through the back door, and sure enough she was sitting on the couch like parents in movies when they catch you sneaking out.
She eyed the bag in my hand.
“So you’re leaving?”
“I-“ I didn’t get the chance to speak.
“And you weren’t going to tell me, oh okay,” 
“Olivia…” 
“Where are you gonna stay?”
“I’m going back to my grandma's house,” 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah, again I’m sorry that I tried to leave without telling you I just-“
“Didn’t want to be interrogated?” 
“Yeah…”
”It’s okay, I get it, come give me a hug,”
I moved giving her a hug and she mumbled 
“You smell like booze,” 
As soon as I got back to the hotel I turned on the movie Frozen. Which I knew was a bad idea because the movie always made me cry. 
I ended up crying myself to sleep and by the time I woke up I was late for school. I slept for 18 hours straight.  
If I was going to be late might as well have had a reason. So, I got smoothies. 
“I love smoothies a lot, but banana is so so strong. Which like makes it pointless to put anything else in it. People should stop saying strawberry and banana smoothie because in reality it’s a BANANA and strawberry smoothie,” I took another sip of my smoothie.
“Damn bitch, you’re saying a lot and fast what’d they put in that smoothie,” Bri said examining the cup before turning to me again “And can I have some?” I laughed before lighty shoving her shoulder. 
“Noo! Continue talking you were my reference for my excitement portrait,” MJ said flipping her sketchbook towards me “I’ve missed my one and only chance to see you happy,” 
“Now I know you’re not talking, I don’t think anyone has seen you smile ever,”
I slid down the bench of the lunch table 
“Whatcha watching Phineas?” I asked Peter. He quickly swiped out the app. “Was it porn?”
“No! Wha- What?” 
I patted his shoulder “Relax dude, I was just messing with you,” 
That was the last I’d spoken to any of my friends. In all actuality that was the last time I’d spoken to anyone besides the hotel staff. I hadn’t been to school since...what’s today? Wednesday. Well then I hadn’t been to school since 3 days ago. Which also means I haven’t eaten since a week ago? 
Okay I know how bad that sounds but it’s not like I’ve been eating nothing. I just haven’t been hungry lately, I have had snacks though like goldfish and chips. I’ve just been too lazy to cook and don’t have the funds to cook. I’ve also been too lazy to fake a smile or whatever so I just haven’t been going to school. 
However what I have been and haven’t been eating is the issue of concern here. It’s that alien shit from the Avengers a few years ago is so much deeper than anyone could have ever thought. I’d been in research mode for a while now. I call it the zone, anything you say to me will go unheard, I mean business when I’m in the zone. If I want something to happen it will. 
“Okay so, I’ll start with the government flash drive. So the aliens that attacked a while back in 2012 were called Chitauri. So Loki had control of them and was using them as an army. Loki being Thor’s brother and the God of mischief,” I clarified. 
''And Loki was attacking because he wanted to be king but his brother was king instead. I mean I think, I don’t really get that part. So there was this thing called the tesseract and it’s supposedly like super powerful. This branch of government called Shield doesn’t want Loki to have this so they keep, then the invasion ensues. This tesseract however is some space stone and Loki used it to bring in the aliens. It’s some sort of infinity stone whatever that means. Howard Stark found the stone in the ocean, because a Stark is always gonna be the one to fuck the world up when they think they’re helping. Then he and someone else founded Project Pegasus-” 
“What’s project Pegasus?”
“I don’t really know but I know it stands for potential energy group alternate sources,”
“Oh, so it’s Shield that’s over this… Tesseract?”
“Exactly!” I clapped and the papers with all the information I printed from the flash drive rustled underneath me. 
“What are you going on about?” Carmen asked. “Like what’s the bigger picture?” 
“That’s the thing! I don’t know, this is like so covered up and coded that I can’t figure it out with information that I have,” I turned towards her “But I will, and that’s where your help comes in,”
“Y/N, when’s the last time you slept?” She tilted her head like those dogs in Minecraft when you have food. 
“Last night,” I waved her off. 
I looked down at the information I was able to find out about Kingpin since he was mentioned in the video my mom made for me. Apparently she worked for him for a while. So did Felicia but all she’d ever tell me was “He was an ass he did give me a gift I’m grateful for though,”. He had affiliations with everyone. 
From what Black Widow released out unto the world he had connections with a Neo Nazi group called HYDRA which brainwashed people from what’ve heard. 
Before I’d just wanted to take down the Vulture out of pettiness if we’re being honest, but now. Oh now? I knew I’d have to. 
Another paper I’d printed from Kingpin’s affiliations caught my eye. 
“Hey Carmen,”
“Hm?”
“Ever been to Vegas?” 
Taglist:
@tomdiddlyumptious
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ofmerrit · 3 years
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*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *
alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.
starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”
merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 
the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.
life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.
doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 
she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf
personality stuff !!!
uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 
can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .
the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip
LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 
an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??
loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .
extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3
likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.
i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 
has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip
!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it
safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 
UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !
connection ideas !!!
childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 
penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.
a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.
betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )
exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .
bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk
saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step
a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .
a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 
ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward
these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 
something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.
give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl
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marvinswriting · 4 years
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Fuck shane omen.
that's it....that's the fic.
im jk, here's the prompt: me and bear were talking about 'mixing' different characters and their sizes from different aus so here is tiny janis and giant damian from the og, with giant regina from reversed and tiny shane who I just threw in bc fuck shane. (also this has established janis x regina bc i'm a multi shipper sue me *its mild and not the center of the fic tho**.) tw: (i always forget to add them and then feel bad) d slur, falling, graphic description of pain
The bell was going to ring soon.
I just have to make it to the tiny pick up zone.
Regina and Damian will be there.
I know he's following me but I just need to make it-
A hand grabs my shoulder.
"Hey, space dyke. Why are we walking so fast?"
"Leave me alone, Shane." I turn around to face him but don't stop walking backwards towards the tiny pick up zone.
It's just down the hall.
I texted Damian that Shane was bothering me. He said he and Regina would meet me there.
I just-
Shane walks forward as well and I whirl back around practically running now. I need to get out in the open. It's risky to be in the cameraless half designed tiny hallway.
It's only when I'm in the center of the pick-up platform that I turn around to face Shane, who of course followed me,
"What do you want from me?!"
Why me? Out of everyone in school, he picks on me.
Shane shrugged. "Looks like you were in the wrong place at the wrong time." He takes a couple of steps forward and I take equally as many back, trying to keep the space we have.
Unfortunately, when I hit the edge of the platform Shane's advances didn't stop.
"Why?" I ask again, glancing momentarily behind me. The floor was a long way away. I like to think I take minimal fall damage. I'm pretty clumsy so I drop a lot. This would maybe just knock the wind out of me pretty bad if I land right.
If I don't-
I remember around freshman year when I fell off Damian's desk and broke my arm.
Cringing slightly at the memory, I turn back to Shane.
He shrugs. "It's nothing against you, dyke. It's you're entitled bitch of a girlfriend I need to get a message to. They do say actions speak louder than words."
Actions?
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
"Shane-" There was a high level of uneasiness in my voice that made me feel pathetic. I clear my throat. "Please don't do this." I raise my hands in defense as Shane stops in front of me. He leans in and I lean back, as far as I can without losing my balance.
Shane smirks and I notice how badly I've fucked up as it happens. It only takes a small nudge from Shane for me to fall backward.
Once again, I've fallen before. But that doesn't make it any less scary.
The feeling of being air born with nothing to latch onto.
But what's worse than that?
The crash.
The tile is cold but it shoots a searing pain through my body. My chest feels like its on fire but the rest of my body feels cold despite my many layers. I roll on my side, curled into myself.
I can't breathe.
The wind's been knocked out of me.
I hear footsteps down the hall but I'm to busy choking for air.
Fuck.
Did the bell ring?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I wanted to push myself against the wall, away from the center of the hallway.
I couldn't bring myself to move.
My breaths felt shallow no matter how much air I took.
My vision was focused on the tile floor beneath me. I scrunched my eyes closed, chest heaving.
There's yelling.
I can't breathe.
A hand is touching me.
I can't fight back.
The hand scoops me up gently and I force my eyes open.
Damian.
Of course.
I don't have enough energy to move as I let myself sink into Damian's cupped hands. I close my eyes again, ignoring whatever he's whispering to me.
The yelling hasn't stopped.
It sounds like Regina.
Despite how bad I just wanted to pass out, I pushed myself into a sitting position, gritting my teeth to stop from audibly showing pain and worrying Damian.
Regina was leaning over the tiny pick up zone where Shane stood looking scared as fuck.
It was a view that almost made me laugh.
Almost.
"What the fuck did you do?!"
"I didn't do anything to her!"
I tear my gaze from the fight going on. The yelling was just aggravating my headache.
I took another shuddering breath and glance up to Damian.
"What happened, Jan?"
Before I could respond, the bell rang and I cringed a the loud ring over everything else. Damian's fingers curled around me slightly as I sunk back into a laying position. He doesn’t say anything but as I close my eyes I can feel his finger run reassuringly up and down my arm.
God, I'm so tired.
The hallways got louder as students began to travel to their next class. Damian pulls his hands closer to his chest and I open my eyes to see Regina approach.
"He's definitely going to be suspended at the least. The nerve he has, I'm going to do more than yell at him just wait-"
Regina makes eye contact with me and all her anger visibly fades off her face.
I can only imagine how I look right now. I feel like shit.
"Damian," Regina says holding out her hand. Damian gets the message and transfers me to Regina's hands.
"You okay?"
How do you respond to that? Yeah, I'm tits, I got shoved off a fucking platform.
"Fine." I say instead.
"What happened?" Regina asks as she and Damian begin walking.
"What do you think? Shane Omen fucking pushed me."
Regina scowls. "This won't end well for him, I'll tell you that."
"Regina," Damian says tentatively. "If you're gonna get all angry and plan a murder then maybe don't hold Janis?"
"No." Regina says simply. "I can multitask."
I laugh softly, leaning back in Regina's hands. My headache hasn't gone away but I see Damian silently put the white pin on his jacket and I already know that I'll probably be taking a nap next period.
"Fuck Shane Omen," I mumble trying to keep my eyes open.
Damian laughs as Regina hums in agreement.
this is half assed because i got excited at the sudden boost of fic ideas and now im rushing to write them all,,,,, whoops. Sorry? Also posting now instead of at 12 bc i can do what i w a nt tags!! @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt @sourishlemons
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Discord pt 100
[Date: 20/03, 7:45 PM GMT - 20/03, 8:49 PM GMT]
[Prior to the below conversation, Mona and Marcus briefly discuss how Maxwell had said that Fetch was supposed to be returning home this day. Even if it wasn’t the Fetch they knew, Mona said that he’d still have to take a bath when he got home.]
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Little-K1ng: “i.. kind of dont want to think about it until it happens, yknow?
speaking of max, did you see??
im so proud of him, he left and didnt feel like he had to tell me why”
marcus...?: “Oh! Progress!!”
Little-K1ng: “of course i saw the post, hes waiting for fetch. but i think he also needed something from that place he was staying at? im just hopeful for him
im glad hes feeling confident after all this”
marcus...?: “Me too
He seemed...less stressed”
Little-K1ng: “yeah !!
but honestly, so do you”
marcus...?: “Do I?”
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Little-K1ng: “yeah, just a bit
you know i still support you, right?”
marcus...?: “...”
Little-K1ng: “just like how i support max taking off his necklace, i support you being yourself
whatever that means to you”
donti: “. its up to you, marcus.”
marcus...?: “...”
Little-K1ng: “or viscount, if you like”
Little-K1ng: “do you want me to be honest?”
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marcus...?: “Please”
Little-K1ng: “i know i havent done that much lately
i dont.... i dont really think you've been "marcus" this whole time. i believe thats who you were before crown, but i dont think you ever really fell out of the Family, so to speak
and im fine with that”
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marcus...?: “...you are?”
llyr (they/them): “uhm, i hate to interrupt, but i think knight has max?”
donti: “WHAT”
Little-K1ng: “WH
okay,, uh”
donti: “NOT GOOD”
[marcus...?: “...you are?”]
Little-K1ng: “yes i am
but also”
llyr (they/them): “max said he was going to go outside and now knight said “he has the third””
Little-K1ng: “HHHH”
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donti: “hey hey uh. this is.. not ideal but. we can. work through this.
do you know. wher ethey are OH WAIT BARONESS IS WHAT
baroness is taking max.
but fetch looks to be coming back.”
llyr (they/them): “... 3:
... shit.”
donti: “"shit" indeed.”
Little-K1ng: “I.....”
donti: “mona?”
Little-K1ng: “christ”
donti: “marcus.. or veyecount?”
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Little-K1ng: “i cant even go get him,
i thought he was on his way back i...”
marcus...?: “...max isnt.. coming back”
donti: “no..
unless you want to try to catch baroness.
fetch can hear the music.”
marcus...?: “What music?”
donti: “. the music crown plays.
to get him to sleep. or be taken.”
marcus...?: “...oh”
donti: “. if he resists it his nose starts bleeding. its not good.”
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Jack the Observer: “Fetch is making his way back to the house.
at least.”
marcus...?: “That’s good”
llyr (they/them): “there’s nothing we can do at this point, is there?”
Jack the Observer: “no.”
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marcus...?: “...Mona?”
Little-K1ng: “im just.....
i guess... im running a warm bath, do you want to put on some coffee? if fetch shows up, hes going to be exhausted. if knight shows up, hes going to appreciate the effort”
marcus...?: “....yeah I can do that”
Little-K1ng: “.....brew it strong
ill need some too, i have a migraine coming on”
marcus...?: “Got it”
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donti: “. guys.
fetch isnt doing. too well.”
llyr (they/them): “...”
marcus...?: “I can see that, try not to stress Mona out any more than she already is please”
donti: “alright.”
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Little-K1ng: “marcus, can i check your laurel? just to see if anything else has happened to it”
marcus...?: “Uh..yeah sure”
Little-K1ng: “hm.. the flowers are pretty and blooming well, but no new changes”
marcus...?: “...can I check for you?”
Jack the Observer: “well. we can see how Mona is doing. how about you, viscount?”
marcus...?: “I’m alright”
arc: “is there anything you need from us at the moment bud?”
marcus...?: “I’m fine, Mona is stressed”
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Jack the Observer 👁: “it would be understandable if you were also stressed, viscount.
after all, you are familiar with both Fetch and Knight.”
marcus...?: “I’m....not stressed exactly
Anxious maybe”
[marcus...?: “...can I check for you?”]
Little-K1ng: “...please”
marcus...?: “....
Nothing
No bumps
Your skins red but you said you’d been pulling on your hair”
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Jack the Observer: “it's the twentieth.”
Little-K1ng: “yeah... been constantly checking and its actually kinda hurting from that”
Jack the Observer: “that would imply that she is not, in fact the fourth.
...”
Little-K1ng: “but only from that, nothing on the skin”
Jack the Observer: “so who is?”
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Little-K1ng: “im.... i just....ii  j ust ,,”
llyr (they/them): “wasn’t baroness’s a spontaneous growth?”
Jack the Observer: “not really. she had a unusual headache and illness for days before.”
Little-K1ng: “i dd o nt knn ow”
donti: “ah. mona.”
marcus...?: “Hey hey hey Mona it’s okay”
Little-K1ng: “h h ow amd i gg oi ng to kee p d oi ng this”
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Little-K1ng: “eever yy FUCKING time,,”
donti: “breathe..”
Jack the Observer: “calm yourself.
fetch is here
is fetch there, mona”
donti: “fetch!”
Little-K1ng: “hh es ??
wha t?
oh
oh i hear footsteps on the porch”
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Jack the Observer: “calm yourself. go to fetch.”
Little-K1ng: “I”
marcus...?: “ow”
Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay”
. . .: “ ...”
Little-K1ng: “FETCH?”
marcus...?: “Did you have to slam the door??”
. . .: “............”
marcus...?: “Holy shit”
. . .: “...”
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Jack the Observer: “viscount, what's happening.”
donti: “fetch?”
Little-K1ng: “the door just FLEW open oh my god”
marcus...?: “He’s..covered in blood”
Little-K1ng: “oh my god
oh thats a lot....”
marcus...?: “Oh my god”
. . .: “Cant you hear that lovely tune?”
Jack the Observer: “Who's the most coherent one in the room”
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marcus...?: “Me?”
Little-K1ng: “the... tune?”
donti: “. the song.”
marcus...?: “Fetch there’s no sound”
Bea (she/they): “oh no”
Jack the Observer: “well. can you hear puppet?”
marcus...?: “Just..us”
Jack the Observer: “...”
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Little-K1ng: “fetch..... its quiet except for your breathing, are you....?”
Jack the Observer: “it's Knight that's playing puppet, then.”
donti: “or crown.”
marcus...?: “There’s no sounds”
Little-K1ng: “fetch... i..”
marcus...?: “No one is playing anything”
Little-K1ng: “hey, come here... you're gonna hurt yourself, i can help you stand..”
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marcus...?: “WHOA HEY”
[donti: “is his nose bleeding?”]
Little-K1ng: “genuinely the least answerable question”
Jack the Observer: “someone get Max's tea.”
Little-K1ng: “AH
FETCH”
marcus...?: “he just collapsed”
Little-K1ng: “hes on the floor
ill carry him im”
donti: “the tea jacks right give him the tea”
Little-K1ng: “he needs a lot”
C R O W N: “:)”
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Little-K1ng: “[GASP] uh uh hey hey there uh”
donti: “. crown. nice to.. see you again.”
Little-K1ng: “just gonna,, drag
fetch,,”
Little-K1ng: “gotta get him cleaned up,, hahahaha,,, uh,,,”
C R O W N: “hello again everyone :) long time, no see”
marcus...?: “.....
Crown”
marcus...?: “Crown I’m so sorry”
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Little-K1ng: “here bud, just lay here, okay? you'll be alright,, ill keep you safe, you'll be okay, fetch
ill grab maxs weird water for you just.... just lay here.... dont slump like that...”
[marcus...?: “Crown I’m so sorry”]
C R O W N: “Ah, viscount :) how are you feeling? your flowers are coming in beautifully”
marcus...?: “I’m feeling alright but..
I’m sorry
im so sorry”
Little-K1ng: “here, fetch, shh... just.... ill wipe you down with it... it should help.... i cant see if you're wounded i cant see it... ,my migraine.....you'll be okay you'll be okay ill keep you safe”
[marcus...?: “im so sorry”]
C R O W N: “It's alright :) i'm not mad, i promise”
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marcus...?: “..you’re not?
I... I pushed you in a river”
donti: “marcus?
marcus...?: “I pushed you in a river and I knew it would hurt you I was just so scared im sorry
I never wanted to leave I was just scared I'm sorry”
Little-K1ng: “there we go.... your cuts are sealing, you're looking better already... you're breathing okay... i promised you would come home in time and you're here fetch and im so glad”
[marcus...?: “I never wanted to leave I was just scared I'm sorry”]
C R O W N: “It's okay, vis. You're going home now. That's what matters :)”
marcus...?: “i can come back?”
Little-K1ng: “im sure lawrence would have understood.... im sure he forgives you..... its okay....... i forgive you, i was never mad fetch im here.... i wont let you go again i promise i promise i”
marcus...?: “you’ll let me come back home?” 
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[marcus...?: “you’ll let me come back home?”] 
C R O W N: “of course :)”
marcus...?: “thank you thankyouthankyou
....crown?”
C R O W N: “:)”
marcus...?: “Crown...max and fetch...
They aren’t happy.......when they’re page and knight
please
let them be happy”
Kate: “Oh, this is such a good day!”
marcus...?: “can you promise me that?”
Little-K1ng: “its okay fetch its okay ive got you im holding you you'll be okay even if you're knight i wont mind i wont as long as you're okay and you're happy i promise i really do”
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donti: “chat and kate are here.”
Jack the Observer: “hello, pawns :)”
Kate: “:)”
Chat: “:)”
[.: “let them be happy”]
C R O W N: “Of course, vis. I promise they'll be happy:)”
marcus...?: “thank you”
Little-K1ng: “crown is in my house hes in my house hes talking to marcus viscount him and i just i dont know what to do i said i would be okay im going to be okay ive done it before and ill do it again ill be okay”
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[Jack the Observer: “calm yourself, Mona. focus on... your dog.”]
Little-K1ng: “name one single other thing i have ever been focused on you many eyed FUCK”
Kate: “:)”
[Kate: “hello there! are you as excited as we are?”]
Jack the Observer: “we've certainly been waiting for this moment with a comparable amount of energy.”
Kate: “:)”
donti: “you seem excited. i hope youre happy.”
C R O W N: “It's time to go home, for all of you. Are you ready? :)”
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.: “I’m ready”
Little-K1ng: “ive been waiting for this day for weeks now and its here and i dont know what to do i dont know how to help or what to say or how to feel or what to think what the fuck”
Kate: “Of course I’m happy, silly! Family is coming home today! Wouldn’t you be happy?”
. . .: “Duh! why wouldn't i be!”
Little-K1ng: “knight if today is the day you still have to get up and go hes here and i dont know how patient hes going to be please ijust wa nt  yo u to be h a pp y . and sa sa fe....”
C R O W N: “I'm glad to hear it :)”
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Jack the Observer: “we're just waiting on the second and the fourth, now.”
Little-K1ng: “the second is in here in the bathroom with me please crown please come in and see him i cant get him to wake up hes exhausted and i dont know what to do”
donti: “why are you calling him that...”
Jack the Observer: “well. we can't call him Knight or Fetch.”
Little-K1ng: “hes breathing hes ALIVE but i cant i cant help him i dont know what to do hes not bleeding anymore he should be awake”
Bea (she/they): “who said we couldn't call him fetch?”
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[donti: “why are you calling him that...”]
Jack the Observer: “the second makes it clear, at least, who we're speaking about.”
[Little-K1ng: “hes breathing hes ALIVE but i cant i cant help him i dont know what to do hes not bleeding anymore he should be awake”]
C R O W N: “Ah I see :)”
Jack the Observer: “he may not be fetch right now. it's disrespectful not to call someone by their chosen name.”
Little-K1ng: “i dont know who the fourth is and i dont know what to do i dont have a laurel and i dont know how to help”
C R O W N: “:)”
Little-K1ng: “WHY ARE YOU SMILING?? IS HE OKAY WHAT DO I DO CROWN”
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[Little-K1ng: “WHY ARE YOU SMILING?? IS HE OKAY WHAT DO I DO CROWN”]
C R O W N: “The first came willingly, the second is sleeping, the third is heading home. The fourth? :)”
Kate: “Don't worry, Mona! When he wakes up, he'll be good as new! Crown always takes care of us”
Little-K1ng: “crown my migraine isnt worse with you around, its just the same. i weirdly expected something to change while im looking at you”
Little-K1ng: “im just looking at you and you're right in front of me. you're just. you're just smiling at me and im just as conflicted as i was before. i dont know what to do, crown
[hic] ii , ,i  just don n t kn ow wwh a t to do..”
Jack the Observer: “please stay coherent, mona.”
Little-K1ng: “i, , i m, t try ing,... ii h a ve t o try”
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C R O W N: “It's alright :) can i speak with you? away from prying eyes?”
Little-K1ng: “I...”
Little-K1ng: “yeah
we can talk”
Jack the Observer: “...”
donti: “... be safe mona.”
llyr (they/them): “... stay safe”
Jack the Observer: “mind how you go.”
Little-K1ng: “ill be safe, i think. i dont think he could really hurt me like this”
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Kate: “:)”
Jack the Observer: “:)”
Kate: “Everything will be alright. Don't worry your pretty little heads.”
Chat: “:)”
Kate: “:)”
donti: “.i wonder if the others are alright.”
Jack the Observer: “will everything come out alright? none of us can be certain.”
Kate: “Come on, don't be sad. Today's a joyous day! It's the first day of spring!”
Jack the Observer: “not even Kate, confident as they are”
donti: “ah. a very happy day.”
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donti: “spring.”
Kate: “Why wouldn't everything come out alright? Family's coming home! It's time to have a good old fashioned celebration!”
llyr (they/them): “spring... is a very good season. it’s new beginnings, right? :3″
Kate: “Exactly! It's a time for new beginnings, to clear away the dust and sadness and coldness of winter and let the sunshine in!”
donti: “spring cleaning is. overrated.”
llyr (they/them): “haha.. you’re right...”
Kate: “Yes, but sometimes it's necessary to let beautiful things grow!”
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mha-fanfic-writer · 4 years
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Apology that changed the world
L.O.V & bakugou,todoroki, and midoriya x reader
Here you were, surrounded by the League, You were all mights niece so it was pretty obvious why you were in this situation. Class 3-A and the pros were surrounding everywhere. They had to help you but the league got to you first. Being in your 3rd year and dealing with them since the first year was painful, not because of the fights but because every time you made eye contact with any of them you felt your heart break. They had been through so much and nobody bothered to listen. “Give it up, you're not getting out of here alive” dabi spoke up. “This is getting boring, why do we need to kill them” toga wined. “Shut up you brat” shigaraki spoke. He was standing in front of you with the others circling you. You didn't say anything. “Kid, don't worry we're going to get you out” you heard hawks from above. They could kill you an instant so the heroes could move in right now. “Tenko” your voice was quiet and shaky. He didn't respond.  “What brat” he  finally said. “Im sorry” you said looking down and clinching your fists. You were shaking but not because you were sacred. “Huh” you heard. “What are you doing” bakugou spoke up thorough the ear piece. Everybody who was sent here had one. The to 10 could here you, class 3-A could hear you, Some other heroes could hear you. But you only cared that the league heard you. You took a step forward earring your class to tell you to stop. “I understand, you’ve suffered great injustice so have thousands before you.” you looked up with tears in your eyes. Dabi and toga stood beside him now both ready to attack if needed. You fell to your knees with your head down. “I offer and apology, and one long over due” you felt a tear roll down your cheek. This was being broadcasted live on TV and you were pretty sure they could hear you too. “I am sorry” you looked up with pure guilt in your eyes. Another tear fell. You but your hand over your shoulder. You had had a deep wound that you were for sure going to die from but that was the least of your worries at the moment. Shigaraki reached out to kill you and you seemed so accepting to it. You moved your head up further to where his hand was. “I know were supposed to fight, I reach for kindness in your heart” you were trying ot hold your tears in as you spoke but they kept falling. He moved his hand away and took of the one from his face and looked at you intently. “If you can forgive” as you were saying those words he reached out to your neck. The pros were going to move in but you told them to stop. “Peace can truly live” by now he had four fingers around your neck griping it tightly. He was shaking that much you could tell. He gritted his teeth before removing his hand and putting it to his side. You put your hand on your neck from how the pressure he put on it at the last moment. “I am scared, but ill use my final breath, to tell you that im sorry” you got back up and extended your hand. He looked at it then at you. “Can we end this dance of death” you asked. He could see the sincerity in your eyes when you spoke and so could the others wich is why they didn't move from there spot. “For the centuries of aggany, I offer you my amended this senseless killing ends” you stepped closer and griped his shirt. He didn't move but just looked forward. He flt something, was he felling sad? He looked down at you and you griped his shirt tighter. You moved closer to the point were it was a hug. “Im telling the truth, I know were supposed to giht I know you have kindness in your heart.” you felt his slowly move his arms up and wrap the around you. Tears fell down his face but he didn't look aways from the top of your head. You both fell to the ground, your small form sitting in between his legs as you embraced each other. Nobody was talking, Not the heroes nor your class. “Please forgive me” you muttered. He closed his eyes and in that moment you both felt at a peace. You were still crying but you could see the other members felt something to. You pulled away from him and looked around you at dabi, toga, kurogiri, spinner, everybody around you felt something. They all slowly made there way towards you and they got on there knees. Toga hugged you not even knowing why she did. Dabi put a hand on your head and felt blood on his face. He was crying and didn't even care. Spinner put a hand on your shoulder and the others just closed there eyes. Little by little they ll moved in and the next thing you know, you were boing cradled by people who were trying to kill you 10 minutes ago. You smiled at all of them. “ if i'm going to die, its gonna be with PEOPLE, who actually give a shit” you said earring a small laughed here and there. You could hear some of your class crying. “Please, anybody who can hear me. Stop all of this, we don't need this. This wasn't supposed to happen, not to them. They’ve been through so much and we never bothered to listen or care. Im begging you, all of you, forgive one another. Make a mens and give them a second chance. They didn't deserve this, none of them. Please, let them be human, we never once thought of them like that so im asking you now please do. Let them live there lives noramly, or as normal as it can be.” you were taking breaks between sentences. You were definitely going to die right now. You only had a few for minutes and you know it. “Please, can everybody come here” you asked. You heard people gather behind the league. “Dabi,” you spoke. He looked at you. Go to hawks” you said and gave him a small smile. He got up and walked towards the winged hero. They looked at each other for a bit both with smiles on there faces. They shook hands and pulled each other into a hug. You know these two had a relationship, you were nt sure what kind but you know there pasts. “Tenko” you said. “Go to midoriya” you asked. It took a while but he did. Midoriya extended his hand with rears in his eye. They shook hands and stood by each other. After sending the others off you called bakugou, midoriya and todoroki to you. The three stood in front of you. Bakugou desperately trying to hide his tears but miserably failing. Todorki was trying to do the same and midoriya just let his emotion through. “Bakugou, your going to be a gray hero, I know you don't need to hear it but I know you just are.” you gave him a small smiled. He got on his knees. “I doo need it” he admitted as tears fell down his face. He took off his goblets and wrapped his arms around you. “Todoroki, Be who you want to be, don't let anybody control you.” you said with the small determination left in you. He got down on his knees nest to you. You grazed your thumb over his scar and smiled before looking at midroya. “Midoriya, dint you ever give up. When I see you from wherever I go, I don't want to see you fall ans say there, I want ot see you fall and get right back up. Put that fuking quirk to use” you smiled. He keeled down and nodded. Your relationship with them was strong. You got to know each one, and became extremely close to them. You liked each of them more than a friend, sucks you would never get to tell them. The boys held you in there arms all of them crying. “Bakugou being who he was decided it was now or never. He leaned in and kissed your lips gently. You gave in before you felt a gentle pull to one side. Todorki did the same fallowed by midoriya. “We were planning on tell you later but we think know a good time” todoroki spoke. You smiled at them. “I love you guys” you smiled one last time before everything went dark. At least everything was ok now.
The boys yelled at the top of there lung when they knew you were gone. They didn't want you to br but you were. Pros who barley knew you were crying, your class was too. The league, everybody. You were right, the whole thing had been live on TV for the world to hear. They all saw and heard what one apology could do to the world. How one 18 year old could do so much in so little time. 
The aftermath was just what you wanted. The ‘villains’ were no longer considered villains, they were regular civilians know, and everybody was so expecting to them. Dabi lived with his family again but was usually with hawks. As you figured the two had something going on.  There were less villain attacks and more of them turning themselves in some getting off with a year or two in prisons and then released and other a little more but in the end they all got to live a normal life. Years later the three were all in the top 10, hawks took number 1 after endeavor had to retire due to him breaking ihs back and as it turns out he also had lung cancer. Wonder why. As of right now kirishima and bakugou are officially engaged. And todoroki and midoriya married. It had taken the ma while to move on but after you visited them in there dreams you told them to find someone, that they weren't allowed to die until they found someone and sure enough they did. You watched from the clouds as they all lived on happily. You had ended up being a fricken legend to the kids. Eri and kota were both 10 and 11 and they seemed to have a thing for each other, so that was a possibility when they got older.  All for one passed shortly after the whole thing and shigaraki was living pretty good down there. Toga was happy, she didn't really see her family alot but she was good friends with uraraka and tsu now. “What do you think” toshinori asked as you both looked down at everybody. “Its what i’ve always wanted” you smiled softly.
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stimmybinnie · 4 years
Text
Autism Acceptance Month Days 20-24
OKAY SO IM THE WORST XD I had typed a couple of these days up but forgot to actually schedule them... so heres another giant post... im sorry >.<
April 20: Discuss stimming. In what ways do you stim? What does stimming mean to you? What do individual stims that you do mean? Do you have any stim toys? What would you like people to know about stimming? I mean, I kinda talk about my stimming a lot on this blog already (ya know, stim bin...) and i'm kinda too tired to actually say anything about the individual stims themselves... all i can really say is that when it comes to stimming, i want people to know that it's normal and neccesary for me! don't shame people for stimming :c also i do have a ton of stim toys... joon and i really need to post our collections on here lol
April 21: Give a shoutout to some of your favorite autism blogs/autistic bloggers okayyyyy so this took way more thinking then I would like to admit because a lot of the time i dont look at yall's urls... i go off of the profile pic (or the general colours of your profile pic which is even worse...) or i know you by the content but not the url -_- ANYWAY some of my faves are (in no particular order): @butterflyinthewell - thank you for all the content and videos you post!!! i have nbeen able to learn a lot about autism through your content and have been able to use your videos to communicate things to NTs when I couldnt communicate what i wanted to say myself!) @autie-jake - thank you for making these prompts!!! i also enjoy all of your blogs content, it always makes me smile!) @autistickeely - i really enjoy the stuff you post and reblog, it gives me a lot of good reminders and positivity on days when i really needed it >.< I loved seeing your post recently (is it from today??? tumblrs concept of time is weird) about your comfort items! made me hug my stuffies real tight ^-^ @frogitivity - okay i love all the stuff you post (and i initially followed for the frogs lol!) but i gotta say i love the whole #bug talks tag! i love the fact that you share videos and such of your stimming and stuff too!! @undiagnosedautismfeels - since i am undiagnosed, i love scrolling this blog to help me remember that i do belong here and am autistic which is very very important to me >.< @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses - can i really make a autistic shout out post without shouting out Autistic Icon Gaud?? No I cannot. Seriously, tho, their blog is hilarious, gaud... thanks for simultaneously weirding me the fuck out and making my fucking day with every single post you have XD ((i also now realize that im not sure if we actually follow all y'all on stimbin here.... i follow you guys from my personal tumblr lmao but ill make sure to follow if we haven't already on this blog XD))
April 22: What are some social rules that do not make sense to you/that you don't understand? recently I'm struggling a lot with the fact that i need to tell people i cant talk. I'm usually very verbal but when i get burnt out, socializing is the first thing to go lol. So unless you're my person or I come to you first, I Do Not Want To Talk. And in fact, its usually extremely exhausting and honestly pisses me of very quickly which is something i'm currently trying to figure out how to tell people because when I tell people i just dont want to talk, they get offended and im not sure why. I think it's because I am usually talkative (obviously... have you seen my posts...) so when I'm not talkative people get worried and talk to me more... which,,, thank you for caring but also you're making it worse??? please someone help i have no idea how to express this to people >.< those who know (and accept...) im autistic have no issues with giving me space but those who dont know or dont believe me when i say im autistic (or those who dont know how it affects me...) dont seem to get it and just get mad at me. this is a social rule im having an issue with because it always got me in a Lot of trouble as a kid and even recently (maybe 2-3ish months ago??) my old manager got very hurt because i told her i just didnt want to talk that day and thats why i was quiet, but not to worry about me, i just needed some time/space & she was very hurt by that and kept bringing it up so i'm just really not sure how to do this....??? its very much a me thing and has nothing to do with you, so why do people get all upset, offended, mad at me, and ridicule me for not wanting to talk to them???? help /.\
April 23: Do you have any internal rules? What are they? Honestly, I know that I do but I can't currently think of any. They usually stem from masking/forced masking growing up so I don't really consciously think about them any more? its just a survival tactic from growing up. Like you know, don't rock in front of people, don't do this, don't do that, etc etc. I literally can't think of most things right now because I kinda block them out??? I should probably work on that. Can't help myself from getting out of the trauma mindset if I don't even know what I'm avoiding! The only like neutral/positive rule I can think of right now is that I really don't like my food to touch. Like, there are certain things I will mix, but if I can avoid things touching on my plate, I absolutely will. does that count as an internal rule? i think so lol
April 24: Talk about community. What does the autistic community mean to you? Is it important? How does it feel? to me... the autistic community is very important. If you made it this far in the post, you’d know just from my few little shout outs, community means a lot to me. I'm not necessarily one to wrap up my identity in my labels (as i talked about in my first post of days 1-5 cuz like this post... i missed some days -_-) but I enjoy having the label because it helps me to realize im not alone in my struggles, and my accomplishments can also be shared with a wonderful community. There's always something to be said about the importance of having people who share your interests and/or experiences, and it's amazing that i can just search into the actuallyautistic tag and find so many relatable posts and amazing people who i can relate to in even a small way. I thank everyone who has ever posted or reblogged something into the actuallyautistic tag for giving me such a comforting sense of belonging. Love all you guys >.<
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Hi hun! I'm sorry things are rough for you right now. You shouldn't ever feel like that (nor should you ever feel like this isn't a safe place for you to vent). From what I've seen after following you for quite a while, you are endlessly supportive of everyone you come across on this site and deserve that back. I was getting into writing this message (had why you are great points and was ready to write up support arguments) but tumblr cut me off before I could get too sappy. In short, love you!!
hahaha well i super appreciate it thank you! i also super auper appreciate the fact i CAN vent here at all and retain some (relative) anonymity vs ya know fb ♡ i just dont get it, this isnt the way i was raised so why do my prents act this way? why didnt they listen to me over a yearback when i said the cat had tumors and they didnt wanna spend the money to check but at the end they were ready to do ANYTHING it took (we dont even go to the doctors ourselves... thanks amierica) and now dad is SUPER dep[resed over ‘killing’ the cat (it was mercy, i know for a fACT It was but he wasnt unable to use the litterox or jump ike the cat we had to put down last year...the sweetest cat too, I had to be doctor death because my parents couldnt do it and my poor younger siblings (im eldest) couldnt do it) so i had to be the one to technically kil him and that has stuck deep with me, i dont deal with death the same way other people do, i know i dont,, and he was so scared and cried when we brought him and he peed in the cat carrier and i didnt want to do it i wanted to go back home with him, and i made my siblings swear nt to tell my grieving parents, and then THIS cat couldnt been avoidable but they didnt listen to me and now he had to be put down and just im frustrated over what didnt need to hapen even with a 20yr old cat had they LISTENED To me im just upset about a mutlitude of things but htak you for putting up with my venting and nonsense.
i know it makes people feel weird and awkward, and some feel olbgated to say something (plz never do! i would hate to put things on others or emotionally manipulate anyone in any way, i just want to vent nd know it had been ackonlwgned i guess) and i just dont underatand why peopel dont listen (esp. my parents).
I mean, i am the ONLY one of my entire extended family to ever go to colege nd complete a degree. I was technically a diplomat in japan. I have the brain skills to be a CIA operative. i speak and understand mutliple lanagues (i wanna get to ten) and other than that, we grew up homeless until i was about 16? maybe 13 i dont etirely recall, but i have street skills as well and i have live din two foreign countries (cant see the forest through the trees and all that) and yet my opinions still count for shit, or my relaive youth (im over 30, letys make that official i am no child) but my dad keeps saying i dont have the years he has (and i NEVER will while hes alive its a moot point) but my paents are xenophobves and ive WORKED for a foreign givenemnt and lived in two foreign countries but im a woman and bisexual and this goes against everything they undersand as normal, and then where the poor cat is concerned like im not a doc, i got a BA not a BS, so my opinons count for shit, and i just want everyone to be nice qnd take proper action with things and not cause others pain and have empathy towards those who have less (i grew up homeless and we were poor until maybe five-7 years ago?)) and just everything huRTS SO MUCH and i am TRYING so goddamn hard all the time but im ultimately at my parents mercy (i live at home because california is too expesive to live in a real9tively safe place alone) and work is fucking me and im trying so damn hard to be a good person and do whats right and help others when i wouldve wanted help and just looking at the bigger picture and it just hurts because there is no room for good in the world o matter how hard you try and every time i try to gte ahead i just for balls .
The good part is, i have two kittens who will be one year come april(or march i dont remember) and my kitty Scratches LOVES me just for me with no other expectaton, so i mean, i have that much. Basicallt i am just really really hurting and i will probably bounce back in full force rather quickly after this pity party but i am very grateful for the chance to vent and also feel heard so to speak, ya dig? :D
ANyways, thank you anon, i love you, you rock, and sorry for alk the serous spelling errors, i am on my 8th beer of the hour trying to hurt myself and/or make the pain go away BAHAHAH XD aint working yet but i havent brought the weed into the mix yet..... that usualy makes me happy. The xanqx stopped the full blow paic attack over helpless feeligs i am powerless against, but i am not happy but trying to get comfortably num. I am on my 8th beer of the hour tho so HEY lets see!! XD
...i am  a mess. DISCLAIMER do not try any of this at home, i am a 30something queer sad sack with adhd and panic disorder who no loger destoys items but instead tries to destroy herself becaus eit will hurt no one but me LOLOOL
....also i feel SUPER guilty about waiting to update ALL sales final and also the new commission i need to get done solike, bear with me, i am trying SO fucking hard right now and i feel like i am supr letting everyone down but i will get there i promise! I will probably be riht as rain tomorrow and i am sorry for ,lll the maudelin nonsense i know plenty of you are not interested and we wil back to our our regularly scheduled bullahit after i bury it all haha
much love, posonjack
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matoitech · 4 years
Note
💕💔🏳️‍🌈 of ur choice!
tysm!! im gonna do.. promare cuz i always wanna talk abt it lol
💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!
oo ok i choose lio for this cuz i thought ppl might need a break from my galo loveposting lol, and i just talked abt aina recently. anyway here goes! i dont talk abt lio that much which is wild cuz i love him so much. he has the best aesthetic first off cuz 17 belts total on an outfit really is something and i think its cool of him to find something he liked and stick with it even if what he liked is just, belts. belts and black leather is to lio what chains are to kurapika. hes also just rly cool in general!! hes genuinely a rly nice person which i wish ppl would remember, hes emotional and cares a lot about people and protecting those who cant protect themselves. his whole thing is caring so much about people!!!! its powerful. i think its cute that its canon that hes good w kids and they like him, and i think him becoming a firefighter with galo post-canon is cool cuz hes still helping people for a living. i love that he loves his friends and the people hes trying to protect so much and thats so obvious that theyre all ride or die for him too! his relationship w gueira and meis makes me emo in a good way, when they sacrifice themselves for him in the desert after he gets shot so he can escape and keep fighting i always get a little teary. also i love his mech and his huge motorcycle and the colors for his fire and dragon lio is SUPER COOL even though within the context of the movie its sad its a rly neat design and i love how its animated. i like his weapons he goes through a LOT of different kinds of fire weapons and theyre all rly cool looking.. his fighting style is so cool.. i love his relationship w galo theyre rly important to each other in soo many ways it makes me emo. idk i just rly like his whole deal i love him a lot. i like that we know next to nothing about his backstory so you can pretty much slap whatever you want in and its all totally possible lol. he has a lot less to work with then galo but that kinda makes it fun!
💔 tell us about one of your LEAST favorite characters and why you dislike them.
i hate kr*y but im not gonna talk abt him cuz he makes me so mad. also not gonna talk abt heris cuz i said smth abt her recently that summed up my feelings for her pretty well, which are just, “i dont care about what happens to her cuz she’s gonna be in just as big of trouble as kray is, im more worried for aina going through what galo had / is having to go through realizing the person theyve looked up to their whole lives is not who they thought they were”. 
instead i choose remi for this, a random side character in galos burning rescue squad that i have always hated and i have no idea why i just see him and im like >:( perhaps one reason could be cuz ppl pay more attention 2 him than they do 2 like, aina, who has way more lines and is more important in general. the only reason ppl like remi is bc hes an anime man with glasses idk hes just rly boring theres nothing about him that interests me
🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? 
ok im gonna bullet point list im so sorry but you DID ask
the good characters being trans are all important 2 me, specifically galo being trans cuz i think no cis man is THAT excited about not wearing a shirt. my specific hc for him is transmasc nonbinary. also hes gay but thats canon
characters i can think of off the top of my head that r trans r galo, lio, aina, lucia, varys, ignis, gueira, meis, thyma who is still alive in my Head Canon, and uh. idk maybe the pizza guy why not. am i forgetting anyone. 
autistic & adhd galo is very important. basically canon. it doesnt make sense within the context of the narrative for him to be nt, so,
on that note lio, aina, lucia, and varys are also all autistic
galo and lio have psychosis because i want them to :)
a lot of them have ptsd canonically (or like. i dont see them NOT having it after every seriously potentially traumatizing event theyve had happen in their lives. but thats the same as canonically imo) so thats like important 2 me also
i could be forgetting something but other than that all my hcs are just hcs, a lot of them r me being projecty but they dont have a rly big level of like, importance 2 me beyond a little smiley when i think abt them
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Text
Joe & Ronnie
Joe: [St Patrick's Day 2016] Joe: Ron Joe: Come back, I ain't going 'til tomorrow Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: go now what the fuck does it matter Joe: It matters to me Joe: every fucking second away does and I don't care if you know it Ronnie: then dont Joe: I missed Christmas, they don't care that I bullshitted I had the flu Joe: had to do everything to stop them flying over to get me, and it was my sister's 16th so they're all on one about how long it's been Ronnie: and I dont care if they believe your bullshit or not Ronnie: I care that youre a useless cunt Ronnie: I care that youre being a fucking pussy Joe: I know you do Joe: I'm sorry or I didn't ask you to, the end result is the same 'cos I can't fucking not go, s'been months, any longer they will do something about it and fuck that Ronnie: get out of my fucking face mckenna Ronnie: youre not worth shit to me like this Joe: I don't want to and you didn't want me to five seconds 'fore you slammed the door in my face so Ronnie: give a shit what you want Ronnie: grow a pair while youre there or dont bother coming back like Joe: that's what you want, yeah? Ronnie: like you care Ronnie: go ask your ma what she wants Ronnie: or your sister Ronnie: shes legal to fuck now what do you need me for Joe: I want to make you happy, not them Ronnie: I told you what to fucking do Joe: I reckon I've got a better idea Ronnie: are you gonna say it Joe: come with me Ronnie: thats not funny Joe: I'm not trying to be Ronnie: it better be a fucking joke Joe: why not? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you know every reason why not Joe: so it wouldn't make you even a bit happy to fuck her family up Joe: say you don't care but you do enough to hate her Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: I hate you Joe: go on then, do it and I won't be able to go back Joe: then you can chuck me if you hate me so much and I'll have nothing but another bad habit Ronnie: I aint the kind of sister to fight your battles for you Joe: now who's being pussy Joe: I'm ready to do it Joe: tell them everything Joe: show 'em Joe: what's the issue Ronnie: still you Ronnie: thats the issue Ronnie: you think you want it til I start it Joe: Name one thing you've started that I ain't wanted Ronnie: there aint a name for this Ronnie: you dont get it Ronnie: and youre not ready for it Joe: fuck that Joe: I don't love them I love you Joe: don't get involved then, I'm trying to give you something here Joe: but if I stop going, then they'll come, and it'll just happen here Ronnie: youre trying to give yourself something Ronnie: but I aint no performing monkey and you cant put me back in my box when you start shitting yourself Ronnie: there wont be one Ronnie: there wont be fuck all left Joe: Good Joe: what about me says that I want anything Joe: there's always heroin Ronnie: you want me to get arrested then yeah Ronnie: get rid of me like that Joe: I won't let that happen Joe: I'd take the blame before it did Ronnie: youre not listening Ronnie: you wont have any control Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: not over me Joe: I don't need any Joe: I don't want to control you Joe: I want you to do exactly what you want Joe: to me, to them, to the fucking world, that's what I always want Joe: you don't have to come, I thought you wanted to, wanted this Ronnie: stop flirting with me you sick fuck Ronnie: I cant think Joe: it's gone beyond flirting Joe: you've got 'til tomorrow to think Joe: come back Joe: please Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do Ronnie: or not do Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: I'm just saying if you don't come then I'll do it on my own Joe: that's just how it is Joe: I don't wanna do it no more, go back, not be here, with you Joe: pretend, more than I have to Ronnie: like fuck are you doing it without me Ronnie: the look on her face thats mine not yours Ronnie: a life for a life Joe: then it's settled Joe: come back though, I know Charlie and Bronson have got fuck all decent in to calm you down Ronnie: theyve got fuck all of anything now like Ronnie: having it in me already is the only reason youre getting words off me instead of a boot in your face Joe: gutted Joe: just for them, before you accuse me of flirting with you again Ronnie: yeah didnt reckon youd follow through on that Joe: if you'd come home I could give you everything you want Joe: close enough that it don't matter no more Ronnie: if I make it that easy neither of us will want it Ronnie: stop fucking crying Joe: what did they have then, make me cry some more with a trip report Ronnie: nursery school shit Ronnie: talk to me about this show and tell you wanna put on Joe: so my dad owns this pub, yeah Joe: st paddy's obviously best day and night of the year for business Joe: it'll be packed Ronnie: no shit Joe: do more damage if there's a crowd to hear and see Ronnie: then what Joe: depends Joe: loads of ways you could do it Joe: it's pretty obvious on both counts what we're trying to say together Joe: leave the rest up to you Ronnie: I know what I'm gonna do Ronnie: I don't trust you to pussy out first chance you get Ronnie: not* Joe: tell me Ronnie: I dont do foreplay Ronnie: fuck alls changed that much since I walked out Joe: alright Joe: could accuse you of being a tease about it but I can wait Ronnie: all those pint glasses on offer are the tease when you know how I feel about glass Ronnie: better lover than you Joe: won't take it personal Joe: made you look this good and I get to look so Ronnie: it only matters that you do take it baby Joe: whatever you give me Joe: and obviously, all this Joe: [drug haul!] Joe: i need to be comatose with you Ronnie: you shouldve started with the offer of that threesome Ronnie: Id be back ages ago Joe: if I made it that easy.. Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: alright, come get yours Joe: hurry up Joe: she's staring at me Ronnie: Im not your bitch Ronnie: Ill be there when im done ✂🪒 Joe: you wanna give them something to remember you by? Ronnie: theyll remember Joe: you gonna bleed for me too though Ronnie: im only doing my hair Ronnie: fuck all else is as fun without an audience Ronnie: dont get excited Joe: awh, you do care Ronnie: do you want me to cut your tongue out so you dont sound as rem as you look tomorrow Ronnie: care about that Joe: ✋🤚 long as you leave all ten relatively unscathed Ronnie: gotta leave myself something Ronnie: youre a shit enough ride already Ronnie: do I sound 🍀 now Joe: exactly like my exes Joe: well about it Ronnie: dont go round saying you were a virgin Ronnie: *nt Ronnie: more embarrassing Joe: oh, reckoned part of your big show was saying you deflowered me Joe: they're gonna be horrified enough though Ronnie: theyd believe it if you wanna go that far with the show Joe: don't reckon that's your plan Joe: but an interesting one Joe: I'll 🤔 on it Ronnie: your ma dont turn me on but neither do you so Id give it a shot Ronnie: reckon youll be horny enough for all of us Joe: the shit will have worn off by then, don't remind me Ronnie: how longs the flight? Joe: hour and a half, bit under Ronnie: 💔 Joe: I know Joe: long enough that all the mile-high cliches are gonna flood right back in Joe: more of a flight risk, should let me have my drugs instead Ronnie: no batteries no sharp objects no point Joe: you're hard to please, my dear Joe: and well selective Joe: the air hostesses, less so if they're even gonna consider it Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you want me to tell 'em you're coming or element of surprise Joe: what's your poison Ronnie: long as it eats away at her I dont give a shit Ronnie: tell em Ronnie: how excited I am Joe: 👍 Joe: on it Ronnie: lay it on well thick Ronnie: make sure theyve all got the taste in their mouths Joe: I know how to breed hope Joe: look at my shining education and musical genius Ronnie: almost hot til you ruined it Joe: one day I'll get you Ronnie: chuck your empty promises at that lot Joe: not the point no more Joe: don't just need my ✋🤚 for you Joe: string for my supper 'til I choke, that's the plan 🎻💉 Joe: can put my diploma on their wall if they want but give a fuck Ronnie: use it for roll ups Ronnie: like a hotel bible Joe: you're really gonna be that hot and not be here Joe: sounds like you Ronnie: it only gets hot when you start thinking about what poison youre gonna lace the �� with Joe: you ever smoked wet? Ronnie: you wanna pop my 🍒 Joe: yeah Joe: only fair Ronnie: who plays fair Joe: hallucinations, disorientation, impaired coordination, paranoia, sexual disinhibition, and visual disturbances Joe: don't play 'cos it's fair, play 'cos it's fun Ronnie: alright you got me Joe: say again Joe: I can get that over there Joe: can smoke some 'fore the show Ronnie: sexual disinhibition Ronnie: thas the show you want Ronnie: I called it Joe: sue me Joe: or worse, obviously 🔪😍 Ronnie: 💉 Ronnie: Ill play and Im leaving Ronnie: dont start todays show without me Joe: you don't have enough hair to be taking this long Ronnie: I was using a broken mirror Joe: Charlie'll be fuming Ronnie: so was I when I broke it Joe: got all the shards out? Ronnie: not my first time Ronnie: youre getting 🍒 greedy now Joe: could've distracted me from the bag with a video or something Joe: you're being selfish, alternative title Ronnie: [sends him something only theyd be into, lord knows] Ronnie: take what youre given and lick it up Ronnie: im not a fucking charity Joe: 👅 Ronnie: ill bring you a shard to put on it the fun can really start Joe: 💘 Ronnie: you can fuck off calling me selfish like Joe: I'll take it back when I feel it Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: you will Joe: you still hate me, like Ronnie: only fair baby Joe: of course Joe: what kind of sick fuck Ronnie: theyll be lining up to tell you tomorrow Joe: might be worth sticking around for Joe: shame, they would make it fun when I'm trying to leave Ronnie: the lads mustve got that memo Ronnie: nothing more fun than a street fight Ronnie: gimme a sec to knock em out Joe: playing nice better or worse than playing fair Ronnie: you tell me soft lad Ronnie: youve had it up to the back teeth Joe: definitely worse Joe: fair was never a big concern with them but less soul-destroying Ronnie: ill rip mine all out before I use em to smile nice Ronnie: playing the way anyone else wants aint a big concern Joe: 🦷🦷 more useful than 👅 Ronnie: dont cry I wont I know what you like Joe: what did I do to deserve you eh Ronnie: you dont Joe: very true Ronnie: but your fucked family deserve me and ill let you watch Joe: suits me Ronnie: yeah you get everything you want Ronnie: this aint any different Joe: got a load of shit I don't want too, that makes up for it Ronnie: not gonna watch you cry fuck joining in Joe: just be here then Ronnie: im coming Joe: shouldn't have gone in the first place Ronnie: thats your fucking fault Joe: yeah Joe: but don't leave me Ronnie: if I wanted you gone Id kill you Joe: you're so considerate Joe: any time Ronnie: you aint getting out of tomorrow Ronnie: ill strap your rotting corpse into a plane seat before I go on my fucking own Joe: I want to be there Joe: and I wouldn't make you go alone either way Ronnie: mckenna Joe: what Ronnie: dont fuck it up Joe: that's your role Joe: is there anything you actually want me to do or just watch Ronnie: stay out of my way Joe: done Ronnie: 💘
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fierceawakening · 4 years
Text
Also also
I’m beginning to think that the disconnect between me and tumblr about “can this illness or symptom be a red flag, or is saying so stigmatizing” also comes in part from what I do
It may just be that anyone who does this work eventually begins to become “staffish,” and that I fail to see my own staffishness, either because I’m me or because “but I have disabilities and illnesses too, so I MUST BE able to accurately tell when someone is crossing a line rather than just being weird, right? RIGHT?”
But, with the caveat that we’re always a bit blind to ourselves in ways others are not blind to us:
I think for me it’s not so much that I disagree that “mental illness doesn’t make you violent” or even that “x trait isn’t necessarily always negative.”
It’s more that:
Say I’m thinking about voice hearers I’ve met. Some large number, IM going to say ten for example’s sake, aren’t violent. They may mutter in ways that put off the nts (conversing with the voices), but they’re not going to do any other odd thing.
Eleven is agitated and stressed and cursing and talks in a threatening tone.
Is eleven violent?
Not yet, clearly. But should eleven be read as escalating on an aggression scale and likely to eventually act out, or is that unfair?
I think it’s fair, based on experiences I have had where people have gotten progressively more threatening.
But the political line is “assume that persons not violent unless they use substances.”
And while I get it as a politics thing, if my Coworker is calling me over because she’s not sure how uncomfortable to be at the front desk, my assumptions are going to be:
1. Violence, or at least a deeply distressing verbal confrontation, is possibly imminent.
2. It’s probably the voices, not my coworker, that have brought this person to such an agitated state.
So when I say “I’m not going to assume John q voice hearer is violent, but I am going to prick up my ears if I get a weird vibe,” I’m saying “I’ve seen what agitation MIGHT look like and am alert for it.”
People are assuming this means something like “I’m White, of course I’m going to clutch my bags tighter when a black man gets on the elevator,” when actually I’m saying something more nuanced than that.
I’m saying something like “well, but The last person I met offline who said she’d been labeled a psychopath ALSO told me ‘help me get my son back, the marks I left weren’t that bad.’ I’m sorry that I went into alert watchdog mode when you said ‘I have low empathy and I’m proud of it,’ but I don’t think I can pretend I’m not in alert mode. Please give me time to figure out you don’t mean ‘he’s disabled, how else do I get through to him?’ but rather ‘I’m not very emotey.’”
And... fighting stigma is important, but... once people have seen people who can’t cope or adapt to a bad case of whatever it is, you saying “stop saying we’re like that” feels a bit like “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
You’re saying “please don’t say that everyone is eleven” but we’re hearing “only talk about we ten.” Because we’re not actually saying “the prevalence is high.” We’re saying “this is what I experienced and the boundaries I set in response.”
Which is why what we’re hearing is “stop having boundaries in order to be fair to we ten.”
Not sure if this helps or makes it all worse but I think pondering it clarified something for me.
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theycallmemoosey · 5 years
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30 Years
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Dan x plus size!Reader
A/N: Another fic in two days of my last one? Holy shit that must be a new record. I combined two requests into one (one was a plus size reader and the other was the plot) because I could not think of a plot for the plus size request and I thought that the second request was so goddamn funny that I just had to combine the two. I also just have to mention that I am plus size so this was a story very close to home (I have tried to share a twin sized bed with someone and honest to god was the most uncomfortable thing - especially because I’m so big). Thank you to the two anonymous peeps who sent in the requests. Enjoy!! Moose :)
--------------------------------------
“Do I look ok?” You asked, pulling at your dress as you stared into the mirror of your wardrobe, conscious of the way it stuck to your curves.
“Perfect” Dan said as he walked up to your worried form, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder. He looked up to the mirror and locked eyes with you, smiling, “You always look perfect, Y/N”
You frowned, “This is as far as I go. The dress is crossing the line alone, so there is no way I’m wearing heels. I’m sorry, I’m not. I’m wearing converse” 
“Finished?” Dan laughed, letting you go to allow you to get your shoes that were carelessly thrown in a corner of the room, “It will be fine, love. Just a few hours of talking to your family and then we’ll head back to the hotel and crash”
“About that…” 
“What? What have you done?” Dan asked, grabbing a jacket draped over the ass chair. 
“Well…my mum asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her the next day and…I may or may not have agreed to stay at my parent’s house” 
“Y/N!” He whined, beginning to button his jacket up.
“I’m sorry!” 
“I just wanted to spend the night with you watching shit TV, eating a shit ton of sweets, chocolate and popcorn and-“ 
“I know, I know…I’m sorry. I wanted that too! I just…couldn’t tell her no. We can still watch Netflix at my parents’ house together?” 
Dan frowned and sighed, “It’s a good thing I love you” 
You smiled and kissed him, heading out to grab your bag from the hallway, “If we want to get to the dinner on time, we need to leave in the next 15 minutes. We can pick up lunch on the way” 
“Ok. I’ll just go and say bye to Phil and then we’ll get going” 
—————————
“I don’t think I can go in” you voice was laced with panic as you sat in the car with Dan, looking straight ahead at the door to the hall where your parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary.
“Why?” 
“I don’t feel comfortable. I haven’t seen half the people in there since I was 8. And I have put on quite a bit of weight since then. OK, a lot of weight…” 
“And? Why does that matter?” 
You looked at Dan, your eyes showing fear and he sighed, “You look absolutely beautiful. So what if you’re not stick thin? I don’t care. And neither should anyone in there”
“One comment about my weight from anyone, and I mean even my Aunt, we’re leaving” 
“Understood” Dan chuckled, getting out the car quickly to help you out.
As the two of you walked towards the door, your Aunt had spotted you through the window and rushed to greet you first.
“Y/N!” She screamed, crushing you in the tightest hug you’ve ever had, “It has been so long! My have you grown! Put on a few extra pounds too!” 
You looked over to Dan with a knowing and unamused look, scowling as he laughed breathily.
“Thanks” you cleared your throat, trying not to snap at her comment, “How have you been?” 
“Fantastic, thank you. I’ve joined the local rock choir” 
“That’s-that’s great” you smiled , knowing how badly her voice sounds. 
“Now, who’s this you’ve bought along with you today? I’ve not seen you before” she smirked at Dan, making both of you uncomfortable.
“Dan, pleasure to meet you” he offered his hand but she embraced him in a tight hug, his expression matching yours.
“Please, come in, join the party!” She motioned towards the house, dragging Dan by his hand as you stifled a laugh behind him. When the three of you had entered again, your uncle called your aunt over to talk to other members of the family. She groaned and turned back to Dan, squeezing his hand. 
“I hope to be seeing more of you, Daniel” she winked before leaving the two of you alone.
“I’m so sorry” you laughed, holding onto his arm as he laughed along with you. 
“You see her often?” 
“Nope” 
“Thank fuck” 
You chuckled, watching your aunt make questionable faces towards the two of you, “Come on, let’s go find my mum and dad” 
————————— 
“I would like to propose a toast” your dad announced as he stood up from his chair, the rest of the room quieting down, “To my wife. I have loved every minute of these 30 years being your husband. We have had the most beautiful daughter, who has clearly inherited all your good looks. All I can wish for is another perfect 30 years with you. To 30 years more!” 
“30 years more!” The room repeated, the sound of clinking glasses filling the room. You smiled when your dad leant down to kiss your mum, the two of them smiling lovingly at each other.
“Think that will be us in 30 years?” A voice whispered in your ear, careful that your grandmother was sat right next to you who was more than desperate for you to marry and have children. 
You turned your head to look at him, a smug smile on his face, “You’d want that?” 
“More than anything” 
“Is that a proposal?”
Dan opened his mouth in a speechless shock at his realisation which made you laugh, “I’m kidding” 
Dan laughed nervously, leaning back and scratching the back of his neck, “Yeah, yeah I knew that” 
“Mmhm, sure you did” 
“Ladies and gentlemen” the band’s singer announced, “May everyone come to the dance floor for the lovely couple’s 30th first dance!” 
Dan took your hand and led you to the edge of the dance floor, standing behind you with his hand on your waist as the two of you watched your parents lovingly dance together. 
“I love you so much” Dan whispered into your ear, kissing behind it quickly and squeezing your waist, “I love you so much that I want to show you off to the world” 
“Hmm? What?” You asked, only just focusing on what he was saying rather than watch your parents dance to the band’s slow song.
“Come on, hun” he said, moving around in front of you to drag you to the centre of the floor to meet your parents. You resisted and pulled your hand back, your eyes wide with fear. 
“No. No way. I’m not dancing in front of all these people!” You shouted in a hushed tone, not wanting to draw attention to the two of you.
“Is this because you’re insecure?” He asked, wrapping his arms around you and trying to pull you onto the floor.
“Dan, I am not dancing with you when no one else is” 
“Your parents are”
“Everyone will see me!” 
“That’s the point” he smiled widely, starting to sway with you wrapped in your arms. You started to smile with him, giving into his cheeky attitude.
Dan had finally dragged you to the centre, smiling when you wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him gently, “Say, you’re pretty good at dancing, Mr.Howell. I’m very impressed” 
“Despite what you may think, I have some hidden talents” 
You saw the rest of the crowd look at you from the edge of the dance floor and you began to feel trapped. You cleared your throat and looked towards Dan’s feet, creating some distance between the two of you.
“Hey, woah…what are you doing?” 
“Nothing” you said, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Stop. Stop feeling like this. You are the most beautiful woman in the room tonight-no-World. I want everyone to look at how beautiful you are and know how god damn lucky I am to call you mine” 
“You don’t have to pity me like that, Dan” 
“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t deserve to have you, yet here I am with this goddess of a human. Yes, you have a few curves but oh my god does that make me love you more. I have fallen in love with your curves more than I’ve fallen in love with you” 
“Oh, charming Daniel” you chuckled, trying to hide your blush.
“I’m kidding. But I hope you know what I mean” 
“I do” you smiled, “I love you too”
Dan pulled you in tighter and kissed you, not letting you pull back or move away from him which made the two of you laugh.
“I want to go home” you mumbled in Dan’s ear when he finally let you go.
“As soon as your parents want to go home, we’ll escape” 
“I can’t wait to just relax and watch Netflix and eat crap food and-“ 
“All in good time, just keep dancing”
—————————
“Y/N?” Your mum placed her hands on your shoulders, waking you up from the short nap you were having on your on Dan’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry we kept you so long. We’re going to take off now so we can finally let you in to the house. You remember the way home from here?” 
“We have sat nav. We’ll find it” you smiled, still sleepy, Dan placing his hand on yours. 
“You two go now, we’re just going to thank the staff and band and we’ll be right behind you” 
“We’ll see you in 30” Dan said, helping you up from your chair in your sleepy slumber, “You ok to drive, hun?”
“Find me some sweets and I’ll be good to go” 
“I saved some from earlier, they’re in the car” 
“This is why I love you”
Dan laughed as he led you towards the car, his fingers laced in yours. The drive was in a comfortable silence, Dan’s hands placed on your thigh, his thumb stroking it gently.
“Got a movie in mind for tonight?” He asked, breaking the silence.
You glanced over towards Dan momentarily, smiling at his childish grin, “What makes you think I want to watch a movie? What if I want to watch Friends?” 
“No” 
“Oh, come on! I love friends!” 
“Yeah, I know. You’ve watched all the series 5 times with me alone, which says it all! I refuse to watch it again” 
“Fine. We’ll just watch whatever is trending I guess” 
“Don’t be mad”
“I’m not. Just…so tired” you yawned, drumming the steering wheel to keep yourself awake. 
“Just a few more minutes” he grabbed your hand and kissed it gently. 
The rest of the drive home was simple but you felt yourself falling asleep at the wheel and you couldn’t wait to just go to bed. Dan tried his best to keep you awake, and to some extent he was successful, as you both ended up at your parents house alive. It wasn’t long after that your parents arrived at home, apologising for their late arrival. 
“I’m sure you two are exhausted so just head up to your old room, Y/N” your mother pointed up to the stairs, focusing on hanging all the coats on the rack.
“Don’t misbehave now” your dad joked, still slightly tipsy from the large amount of alcohol he had at the party, making you and Dan cringe and laugh in an awkward manner. 
“If you need anything, just help yourself. You know where everything is, Y/N” 
“Goodnight guys. Get dad in bed safely” your whispered to your mum as you kissed her goodnight.
“Sleep well you two” your mother said as you and Dan carried your bags to your old room.
You sighed as you climbed the stairs, listening to your dad slur out drunk comments to your mum which made her laugh.
“I swear if we’re even half as happy as your parents when we’re old and grey, then we’ve won at life” Dan whispered behind you as you finally reached your old bedroom door. 
“I was kinda hoping we’ll be double as happy” you smiled, walking in to the teenage bedroom. The sight made the two of you stop in your tracks and stare open mouthed at your room.
“Oh my-“ you began, stopping when you heard Dan burst into a fit of laughter behind you, “This is far from funny, Daniel” 
“It looks like a 12 year olds room!” 
“Well they clearly haven’t changed it since I moved out” you sighed, throwing your bag onto the floor in frustration.
“And when did you move out?” 
“When I was 18” 
“HOLY SHIT!” Dan laughed, backing away from you as you tried to slap his arm.
“I think we have a slightly bigger issue than the atrocity that is this room” 
“What?” Dan continued to giggle, wiping away the tears from his eyes. You pointed towards the twin sized bed.
“That. It is, in no way shape or form, going to fit both of us” 
“Oh…” Dan finally stopped laughing, “Oh well. Guess you’ll just have to sleep on top of me then” 
You deadpanned towards him, “Ok what you said before wasn’t that funny but THAT certainly wasn’t”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny” 
“Dan, we both won’t fit. I am too big to sleep either next to you in that bed or on top of you. I will literally crush you. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to find my boyfriend is dead from suffocation because his fat ass girlfriend cut off his air supply from squashing him to death!” 
Dan stared at you sadly for a minute, making you feel awkward as ever. 
“Do you really feel that bad about yourself?” He asked after a minute, “You really think of yourself as that fat that you can’t sleep in the same bed as me? You think you’ll suffocate me?” 
“I always think that” You said solemnly, looking at the floor. 
“Even at home?” 
“Even at home”
Dan sighed sadly and stepped forward, carefully taking you into his arms. With his arms wrapped around you, you rested your head on his chest and started to cry quietly. 
“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I would not change any part of you if I could. Every single inch of you is perfect. Never, ever change” 
You looked up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks, “You really really think that?” 
“Yes, love” he kissed your forehead, “I always have done. From the moment I met you until the moment I die, I will always think that you’re the most beautiful thing on this earth”
“I don’t deserve you. You’re so kind and pretty and-“ 
“I’m not pretty. I am nothing compared to you” 
“You are pretty. With your perfect curls and your perfect eyes and your perfect body” 
“I’ll gain all the weight if that would make you feel better” 
“Oh god, please don’t. Like, yes, eat pizza with me but keep this” you laughed, motioning towards his body, “I love this” 
“And I love this” he motioned towards yours, kissing your hand and making his way up your arm to your lips, “Come on, get changed and let’s watch Friends” 
“Really?” You asked excitedly.
“Yes, really” he smiled down at you, grabbing your bag and flinging it on the tiny bed, “Now hurry up and get that beautiful body changed”
“This isn’t going to work” you laughed quietly, once you were changed, as you tried to squeeze into your old bed, aware your mum was trying to get your dad to sleep, “Dan this is literally impossible. I am not going to fit in next to your 7ft fat ass!” 
“I’m 6’3, Y/N” 
“Still a giant” 
You sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling Dan wrap his arm around your torso as you shuffled in next to him. Luckily, both your asses fit next to each other but you had to wrap your legs around each other. 
“This is cozy” Dan mumbled into your hair, kissing your head gently. 
“Shut up and get your laptop out” you said, trying to get into a comfortable position.
The two of you sat in comfortable silence in a not so comfortable position, watching the six people you had admired since your teenage years with the love of your life. As the night went on, you managed to find a comfortable position with your head on Dan’s chest and your body curled into his. His arm was tightly wrapped around your body, and he kissed your forehead when he noticed that you had fallen asleep. Carefully and slowly, he placed the laptop on the desk next to your bed and shuffled down, trying to not wake you up as he tried to also fall asleep in a comfortable position. Despite the fact that neither of you really fit in the same bed and you both felt beyond uncomfortable, the two of you fell asleep peacefully wrapped in each others arms. When Dan woke up the next morning, he smiled at your beautiful face laying on his chest, your breathing slow and steady. He could only wish that he would wake up like this everyday next to you for the next 30 years.
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pastelvirgil · 5 years
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ink, pulitzer, backstory, carnegie, notepad, houghton? Ɛ🌠🌙>
!!!!!!!!
ink: what do you do to “set the mood” when writing?
i usually need quiet if i really want to churn out some wordage- a partial blanket cocoon is also nice to write from even if it //is// bad for my back in the long run
pulitzer: tell about/link a piece where you felt your writing was the best.
i mean my most popular fic is sightless, probably followed by roman vs the gender binary, but i really loved the sequels to rvtgb that not as many people read (or lack thereof, an agender virgil prequel that tbh i think is read best //after// rvtgb; (n)either/(n)or, a proper sequel that is mostly domestic fluff tbh)
backstory: how did you come to love writing?
ive always loved telling stories- when i was younger, as a way to fall asleep each night, or in one particularly memorable case, using hair ties and (unused, obviously) tissues to create enough characters for an adventure story acted out on my dresser. additionally, ive also had a natural aptitude for reading and writing- i actually have a funny story about reading levels if anyone actually wants to send an ask and learn about it.
but basically, there were assignments that instructed us to write to a prompt but not essay writing- not to mention the creative writing class i took sophomore year
writing is just. really cool to me too, because you get to change something, or add something, or just generally help in people’s lives. just not in the way a doctor can or smth (like- people leave comments/have sent asks about both roman vs the gender binary and coming out of my cage because //my stories// had a positive impact on them/made them feel represented/idk but yeah- my works helping people with their own gender/adhd (respectively) is still so wild to me but it makes me happy that i can impact others in a positive way) (wow this response got Real Long Real Quick)
carnegie: what authors and/or books/stories have inspired you to write or influenced your work?
rick riordan was the first author i read where the book featured a gay character, and therefore pretty much led to my Gay Awakening and also a little bit of self acceptance- so i do have a special place in my heart for my boi nico di angelo and house of hades (there is another reason hoh is important to me, but that’s a whole other post lol)
notepad: can you write anywhere or do you have to be in a specific place and mood to write?
i can generally write pretty much anywhere as long as i actually have an idea to write and there isnt too many background distractions (or if ive taken my adhd meds lmao)
houghton: what’s something you love that people compliment your pieces on?
ummm,,, i guess i alluded to it earlier, but i absolutely //love// when people say i portrayed smth accurately or that it helped them with something in their own life, as weird as that sounds. like, that can be summed up in two words as “accurate characterization,” but. for example: i started writing comc as a way to help me deal with a) my own adhd manifesting h a r d c o r e,, b) going through the process of getting diagnosed/getting meds as an eighteen year old afab person whose been traditionally (i.e. academically) “”smart”” their entire life, and c) showing a character that the fandom doesnt traditionally portray as adhd and also in a nonstereotypical way that sometimes neurotypical people fall into. (aka: not that there’s anything //wrong// with making patton the one with adhd- it’s honestly a good thing!!- but sometimes people (esp nt peeps) forget that there’s more than one way to be adhd)
and ive gotten a lot of positive response (btw im so sorry i havent updated ahau in literally forever, ill get there at some point) to it- people saying “i love that you didn’t show adhd as ‘we have to get serious- oh look a butterfly!!!!’” or “i love that you made logan adhd bc i really identify with him and i have adhd and its nice seeing someone like me” or “i love that you wrote adhd as the serious thing that it is, and didn’t make light of it for comedy’s sake”
anyways sorry the ridiculously long answer i cannot be brief to save my life rip
writer asks!!
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