#sorry I didn’t do everyone I was feeling lazy but just know my girly blue would have fucking trumped everyone
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The Raven Boys Rizz Ranked
6. That one cray guy who tried to seduce his crush by kidnapping his crushes little brother and stuffing him into a car which is suprisingly not effective. Heard he died which is kinda awkies.
5. In almost dead last is ironically everyone’s favourite evader of death. You guessed right! Gansey boy!!! Reading through his first interaction with Blue was so painful I almost permanently died. However, credit were credit is due because he did somehow get with her at the end but he is just lucky Blue is deadsexual.
4. Ronan - bless his heart he tried but fuck is he embarrassing to watch sometimes. I’m not even going to detail all of the second hand embarrassment I had watching him flirt. But hey at least he didn’t call his crush a prostitute and then try and set them up with his bestie because of his saviour complex and crippling lack of self worth. Also his lil gifts were so sweet like A+ for effort.
3. The bisexual king himself Adam Parrish who could pull anybody in Henrietta with complete and utter ease. His only downfall is being kinda creepy being possessed by a forest and all but you know what some people find that hot (not me of course …). ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ADAM IN A LEATHER JACKET BECAUSE WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT ENOUGH. Also you know the line in call down the hawk where he was like I need to take off your clothes!!! Damn he is kind of being robbed at 3rd.
2. My husband and everyone’s favourite man whore DECLAN TADHG LYNCH. My boy pulled 3 Ashley’s is a row and the goddess that is Jordan and he had me giggling at every single turn. Nothing is more seductive than a plain white guy with stomach issues and an art kink. Everyone hated you because they weren’t you and that’s why all of the bitches who slut shamed him *cough*Gansey*cough*Adam*cough*Ronan *cough* are ranked lower than him. Also his murder spree in Greywaren is the sexiest scene ever written, you cannot argue me on this. PSA: before anyone comes with for me for putting him above Adam just remember there is textual evidence of Adam literally learning to flirt off of Declan after observing him in trb. HE WAS THE TRENDSETTER.
1. Noah - Sometimes being creepy and dead can have it’s benefits. He saw his opportunity to kiss Blue and he fucking ran with it. He really said I know someone you could kiss 🤭 and I admire that confidence which I firmly believe makes him extremely deserving of 1st place. The ability to pull bitches whilst literally decomposing is quite frankly unbeatable.
#i said what i said#sorry I didn’t do everyone I was feeling lazy but just know my girly blue would have fucking trumped everyone#joseph kavinsky#gansey#ronan lynch#declan lynch#adam parrish#noah czerny#trc#the raven cycle#maggie stiefvater#the raven boys#the dreamers trilogy#tdt#pynch#bluesey#jordeclan#noah czerny deserved better
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Part 5- Shape of My Heart
Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader
Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...
Taglist:
@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries @bibliophilewednesday @evaporatedrosepetals @thetomatosaucee @tomatosauceagent @redosmo @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch
Part 4 Part 6
Note: School is starting for me which means I more than likely won’t get to update as often, but I am still going to try! I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!
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Rudy was wrapped around me like a koala bear, soft snores falling from his lips. The sun was shining through the curtains, a perfect day to go swimming. Luckily since I had met them all at the beach, they had already seen me in a bathing suit. I tried to extract myself from my current position, but Rudy’s hold tightened on me the more I moved. I huffed, debating on just waking him up. I tried one more time, a groan sounding from the man next to me.
“Stop moving,” he whined, his deep morning voice sending chills all over me.
“It’s prime tanning time Ru, let me up.” I chuckled.
“I’m comfy,” he mumbled, cuddling further into me.
“We have plenty of days to be lazy, come on.” I encouraged, patting his shoulder.
He huffed dramatically, flipping off of me. I jumped up, filing through my stuff to get my bikini. I jumped when I turned around, not expecting Rudy to be right behind me. He stared into my eyes, making me a bit nervous. He pulled me into a hug, laying his head on my shoulder.
“I’m tired.” he grumbled, his lips brushing my skin.
“You don’t have to come with me if you want to sleep.” I offered, rubbing his naked back.
“I don’t want to be by myself.” he complained, moving to kiss where his lips hit my skin.
I froze in place, not sure what to do now. I was confused, scared, and now horny. I shuffled lightly in his hold, trying to act like what he did wasn’t affecting me in a major way. He sighed, pulling away. I smiled as I trekked to the bathroom, millions of thoughts racing in my head.
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Maddie C and Chase were already out in the pool when Rudy and I came down, Chase begging Maddie to get in with him. I threw my towel down on the chair, busting out some tanning oil spray. With the help of Maddie, I doused myself to hopefully bring some color to my pale features. Back home the weather couldn’t seem to make up its mind, sometimes being really hot one day then freezing the next. I sat down on the chair, my legs on either side as I scrolled through my phone for a minute. Rudy sat on the open space, looking at me expectantly.
“What?” I laughed.
“You did not drag me from my peaceful slumber to just sit here, get in the pool.” he commanded, pointing at where Chase was standing.
“I want to lay out for a little bit,” I scoffed, moving my legs to his lap since he wouldn’t move.
“Baby, get in the pool now!” he exclaimed, a grin coming to his face.
“Oh my god if you’ll shut up!” I huffed, glaring at him as he cheered.
I dipped my toe in the water, surprised that the water was actually warm. I felt Rudy’s presence behind me again, his hands gripping my hips.
“Don’t you dare!” I hissed, whipping around to grab his wrists.
“What? I’m not doing anything.” he innocently tilted his head.
“I’m getting in, don’t fucking push me.” I giggled.
“You mean, like this?” he questioned, taking a head start to push both of us in the pool.
I resurfaced, pushing my wet hair back. Rudy came up a second later, wisely he swam a little ways towards the deeper end of the pool. I turned around, deciding to give him the silent treatment. Chase and Maddie were cackling at us, Maddie gripping her stomach from how hard she was laughing. I swam to the shallow side, purposefully not looking at Rudy.
“You’re in trouble now Ru,” Chase grinned, quirking a brow.
“I’m hungry, you guys ok with me running to McDonald’s?” she asked, earning a nod from me.
Chase and her headed out, leaving just Rudy and I. I heard him swim closer to me, I made sure to keep myself from looking at him. He stood in front of me, my eyes casting down into the pool. I pouted, hoping he would feel bad.
“Are you really not talking to me?” he asked, silence from my end.
“Y/n...babe, talk to me. I’m sorry.” he whined, flopping himself in my arms.
I didn’t move though, trying my hardest to not smile. He wrapped himself around me like a child, not letting go of me even when I tried to pry his arms away. He buried his head in my neck, crying dramatically.
“Baby I’m sorry, please talk to me!” he cried, I couldn’t contain my smile anymore.
I busted out laughing, throwing my head back. He pulled his head back to grin at me, his eyes shining in the sun. I caught his gaze, the both of us going silent. Rudy stood to his full height, caging me in by putting his arms on either side of me. My breath hitched in my throat, having to lean my head back since he towered over me. He leaned closer, forehead coming to rest on mine. Our lips just brushed together when a voice sounded out.
“Hope we aren’t interrupting!” Maddie B yelled, her girlfriend Mo and JD trekking behind her.
“I was wondering when I would see your face JD,” I chuckled, swimming closer to the edge where they were.
“We missed you at dinner last night man.” Rudy spoke, bro hugging JD.
“Glad you could make it college girl!” JD smiled.
“Hey girlie long time no see!” Mo greeted, leaning down to hug me.
“So glad to see you Momo,” I grinned.
JD and Rudy ended up getting in a major splash war, which gave me enough time to escape the water so I could lay out for at least a few minutes. I chatted with the girls, Maddie C and Chase coming back finally. Maddie C passed out our food, Chase joining Rudy and JD.
“So y/n, what was that we walked in on?” Maddie B asked, Mo wriggling her brows.
“Nothing,” I murmured.
“Wait, what?” Maddie C inquired.
“That was not nothing and you know it.” Mo inputed.
“Ok...we might have almost kissed, but I think it was just an in the moment kind of thing.” I shrugged.
“Y/n, stop being so delusional.” Maddie C ordered, as if it could just be that easy.
“You guys just don’t get it.” I murmured, my mood taking a huge downfall.
“Then help us understand,” Maddie B said, placing her hand on my arm comfortingly.
“I was bullied...for my entire life because I’m not thin. Never had a boyfriend, never even kissed a guy, and I’m just scared. I’m scared it’s too good to be true, and Elaine seems to have something for Rudy anyways...I don’t want to get in the middle of that.” I rambled.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You know you’re one of our best friends, every single person here loves you. You are beautiful y/n, if anything you’re way out of Rudy’s league.” Maddie B informed, Maddie C and Mo agreeing.
“Our lives wouldn’t be the same without you y/n, I think you have a killer bod babe. I’m sure Rudy thinks the same or he wouldn’t stare at you all the time.” Maddie C giggled.
“Thank you guys, I just don’t want to read too much into things...I don’t want to get my hopes up. My heart’s been broke too many times I don’t think I could handle it, especially with Rudy. I couldn’t bear to lose him...” I sighed, looking at the boys who were wrestling each other.
“Are you ladies just going to sit there all day?” JD shouted, splashing water at us.
“We’re talking shit about you all.” I laughed.
“That’s not surprising, that’s all you girls do.” Chase scoffed, running his hand through his wet hair.
“After I took care of you last night...that’s a low blow babe.” Rudy sighed, shaking his head. JD quirked a brow at his friend, looking to Chase. The man shook his head, I guess signalling he didn’t know what was going on.
“That’s what you get for taking up the whole bed.” I smirked, a mock offended expression on Rudy’s face.
“I’ll remember this,” he nodded.
“Oh come on guys, we don’t want to hear about you all doing the nasty.” Maddie C groaned, both Rudy and I’s cheeks turning a bright red.
“It wasn’t like that.” I griped, shoving her slightly.
Chase used the moment we were distracted to snatch Maddie C up and throw her in the pool, a scream escaping her as she hit the water. I cracked up as I watched them play fight in the water. I started to get hot, the LA sun taking its toll. I sat on the edge, my legs dangling in the pool. Rudy swam closer to me, standing between my legs.
“Get in with me,” he pleaded, tugging on my arms.
“I will, just give me minute to get used to the water Ru.” I giggled.
We swam for hours, my chest hurting from how much I had laughed. It distracted me from my internal thoughts about what happened earlier with Rudy almost kissing me. I wondered if he really did like me, or if this was some kind of game. I didn’t think Rudy was the type for games so I scratched that off my mental list, but I just couldn’t fathom how he could possibly have feelings for me.
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All of us somehow ended up in my room, scrolling on the TV to find a movie. We had just about everything from Chase’s pantry on the bed, drinks sitting on the end tables. JD wanted to watch a scary movie, the girls protesting against it. Call me weird, but I loved scary movies. The thrill always excited me, so his choice didn’t phase me at all.
“Y/n, you’re our guest.” Chase said, everyone looking to me.
“I love scary, but if no one else wants to watch it I’m cool with whatever.” I shrugged.
The guys cheered, JD choosing Insidious, one of my all time favorites. Rudy cuddled me close to him, his eyes intently focusing on the screen. I had seen the movie millions of times, so the jump scares didn’t get to me anymore. I cackled when one of the girls would scream, or the guys would shout. Rudy hid his face in my neck at some parts, his hold on me tightening. Once the ending credits rolled, we put on a Disney movie to calm everyone’s nerves. My eyes began to droop, my head falling on Rudy’s chest. He played with my hair, his soft movements lulling me to sleep.
“You ever gonna grow some balls bro?” Chases asked.
“I don’t even know if she likes me back man,” Rudy sighed.
“You all are so perfect for each other, better shoot your shot before it’s too late.” Maddie C spoke.
“Yeah I guess you’re right, I’ve made it so blatantly obvious, but she doesn’t seem to respond.” he rambled.
“Talk to her about it, not gonna hurt anything to have that communication.” Maddie B said.
“I think I might just do that, I can’t wait any longer for her to catch the hint.” he sighed.
#rudy pankow x plus size reader#rudy x plus size reader#rudy pankow#rudy#rudy obx#rudy outer banks#rudy pankow outer banks#rudy pankow obx#rudy imagine#rudy pankow imagine#rudy story#rudy pankow story#rudy series#rudy pankow series#rudy pankow x you#rudy x you#rudy pankow x reader#rudy x reader#rudy pankow x y/n#rudy x y/n#rudy fic#rudy pankow fic#rudy pankow angst#rudy angst#rudy pankow fluff#rudy fluff#obx x plus size reader#outer banks x plus size reader#obx rudy#obx rudy pankow
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Don't make me slap you pt 17
“Start talkin’, Levi. Mystery girl showed up again and you know somethin’.”
Mammon pestered with his hands on his hips.
“And why should I tell you anything, Mammon?”
“Because I covered for ya, nerd! So ya better start yappin’!”
Mammon grumbled as he stared at his stubborn brother while Satan sat on the other side of the classroom, reading his book. He sighed to himself, hearing Mammon yelling was grinding on his nerves but it wasn’t the worst thing on his mind. Lucifer was going more and more irritated with each appearance of the mystery girl. For someone without a name, she was riling up the rumor mill which was spitting out theories nonstop. And while he thrived on Lucifer’s frustration, Satan couldn’t shake off the mystery that was staring at his face. An honest mystery case running around the halls of RAD and he could solve the case before Lucifer and rub it into his face in front of everyone.
Feeling his own sense of pride swelling, Satan got up from his seat and walked out of the classroom, thinking of where to start looking. The mystery student has been seen all over RAD but he figured there must be a pattern to her appearances.
“If she was wandering around RAD and only a few students have seen her, she must be moving during classes.” He whispered to himself.
“So the only way to find her is between and durin’ classes.”
Satan jumped as Mammon made himself known by listening to his private thoughts.
“What do you want, Mammon?”
“Hey, I know you’re lookin’ for mystery girl and I want in. I’m tired of Lucifer thinkin’ she’s here because of me.”
Satan remained silent for a moment before giving a sigh of defeat, his solo case slowly flying away.
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“I swear, if one more demon tries to grab me, I’m gonna snap.” Marley grumbled to herself as she wandered the emptied hallways.
Ever since she met Diavolo in the school garden, it has been nothing but trouble following her around. At first, no one paid any attention to her but now she was getting noticed more and more. If one demon wasn’t trying to catch her for Lucifer, another was trying to catch her for their own purposes. Now she couldn’t even sit in any of the classes without being noticed.
“And I was learning some pretty decent stuff too.”
She sighed to herself, thinking she should stay as a seal in RAD to avoid any more chaos. She stretched her arms over her head and gave a lazy yawn. She wondered if it would be easier just to just go to the council room and try to send herself home but she quickly abandoned the idea since it was basically Lucifer’s stomping ground. She admired the familiar walkway and realized that she was heading towards the colosseum where Beel was probably training. Smiling to herself while thinking of more fried food from Hell’s Kitchen, Marley began to pick up pace as her steps echoed against the stone.
“Yo, hold up, girlie!”
Marley cursed to herself, knowing they were referring to her. She glanced over her shoulder only to see Mammon and Satan running in her direction. Her eyes grew wide as she ran faster away from her housemates.
“Dammit, Mammon, why did you yell at her?! We’re trying to catch her!”
“Hey, we found her, didn’t we!?”
The twosome bickered back and forth as they chased Marley throughout the halls.
“Look, she’s at the stairs, we’ll catch up to her on the way down!”
Much to Mammon’s surprise, Marley remained unfazed as she took off her flats and jumped down the stairs. Shocked, the brothers ran to the edge of the stairs to see a slope of ice being formed underneath her feet as she sped down the spiral staircase. Shaking their shock off, Mammon and Satan slid after her on her icy path. Once at the bottom, Marley slowed down to put her flats back on and headed toward the entrance of the colosseum with the brothers in hot pursuit.
“S-Shit, that was cold!”
“Quit complaining, Mammon, did you see that ice!? She may be the witch that sent Mochi! We definitely have to catch her now!”
Satan bolted ahead in a burst of adrenaline and managed to grab Marley by her wrist. The next moment seemed to be playing in slow motion as Mammon watched Marley whip around and slammed her palm across Satan’s face, causing a loud clap sound to echo in the tunnel. His eyes widened upon seeing the horrifying act as he ran even faster towards the duo. In a blink of an eye, he managed to yank her wrist out of Satan’s shocked grip and continued to run towards the arena floor, dragging Marley behind him.
“Hey, let me go! You’re hurting me!” Marley yelled.
“Yeah but he’s gonna hurt ya worse, so keep runnin’, girlie!” Mammon blurted out.
Confused, Marley looked over her shoulder to see Satan standing still with his reddened cheek. With a sickening crackle noise, his horns emerged from his hair while his bony whip of a tail crept down to the floor. It flipped in the air only to slam on the ground, cracking the hard stone. He then snapped his head back to her direction and released a raged filled roar that echoed harshly out the tunnel. Then in another blink, he sprinted after them with green flames leaking out of his clenched jaws.
“What the hell!?” She screamed.
“JUST KEEP RUNNIN’!!!” Mammon screamed louder.
Beel sighed to himself in satisfaction as his practice finished up. He was looking forward to eating his weight in food when a couple of his teammates muttered on behind him. He turned to see them pointing up at the audience seating where a green blur was chasing another blur. He squinted slightly and managed to make out what was running in the distance, a panicking Mammon who was running from an enraged Satan while dragging Marley behind him. In a breath, Beel jumped the arena wall, landed in the stands, and ran along the edge, closing the distance between them.
It happened so quickly, in a flash, but Beel managed to get between Satan and his targets. In the middle of his rage-filled attack, Satan began to come to his senses as his nails dripped in his brother’s blood, soon his horns and tail disappeared back into his body and his eyes returned to shades of reason.
“Beel, I’m sorry!” Satan claimed as he looked at Beel’s scratched filled arm.
Beel just gave a smile before he winced and twitched in pain. However, it wasn’t from Satan’s scratches but from Marley, who, in pure fight or flight, sunk her fangs deep into Beel’s other arm. Realizing what she did, she unclasped her jaw and pulled away to see the skin around the wound turn pale blue. Beel’s arm slumped lifelessly to his side as he grabbed it with his scratched up hand. He gave it a slight shake which caused him to grunt in pain.
“Why did you get in the way, you fool!?” Marley yelled as she pushed Beel into a seat.
She grabbed Beel’s arm but before she could do anything, Mammon snatched her away. His face was filled with a wave of cold anger as his gaze pierced through Marley’s head while holding her firm. However, Marley swallowed shallowly and attempted to steel herself.
“What did you do?” Mammon asked sternly.
“Listen, I know you’re mad but you need to let me help him.”
Mammon held his silence as he released her from his grip and watched her take her seat next to the wounded Beel. She held his arm and placed her mouth on Beel’s bite wound. The sudden intimate action snapped Mammon out of his protective persona as he pointed a shaky finger at her while Satan watched on with curiosity. She whispered along the wound which caused the bluish tint to recede to her lips. Slowly, Beel flexed his fingers and began to bend his arm while rotating the shoulder.
“Thanks, any chance you can do something about the scratches?” He asked while smiling at her.
“Sorry, big guy, I can only treat what I cause. Sorry for the bite.”
“It’s alright, your bite would be cute if it didn’t hurt so much.”
Before Satan and Mammon could question any further, Lucifer rushed into the arena while Levi and Asmo followed from behind. They must have heard Satan’s roar that was amplified by the tunnel as they looked around frantically. Before they looked up at them, Beel stood up, blocking Marley from their view.
“What happened here!?” Lucifer called out to his younger brothers.
Mammon looked at Beel who gave him a small whimper, he then sighed heavily to himself while swearing underneath his breath. He gave Satan a look and offered a long blink. Taking the hint, Satan looked at his eldest brother and called back to him.
“Mammon stole one of my rare tomes and sold it to a witch!” He claimed out loud.
“I have no idea what he’s talkin’ about, I didn’t steal anythin’!” He yelled back.
And with that, Satan and Mammon put on a show for their concerned brothers as they all began to groan and laugh respectively. Lucifer steeled his expression before looking up at Mammon with a sadistic smile.
“So, looks like we’re going to have a long chat about your recent behavior, Mammon.” He answered coldly.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me leviathan#mochi story fanfic#obey me asmodeus#mochi#obey me mammon#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me beel#obey me belphie#obey me asmo#obey me levi#levi#asmo#mammon#satan#crystalrose555#lucifer#beel#belphie#obey me fandom#obey me diavolo#diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me solomon
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sins of my youth. 007
Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3
Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.
A/N: New Year and school is back in session after winter break. Billy starts the grovelling process and observes some new things about Evie. TW: PICA-it's worse. Vomiting. Animal death mention. Student/Teacher relationship in the background. School bullies. Taglist open!!!
Chapter 7: One Bad Kiss Constellation
The first day back to school was uglier than Evie pictured. Fall of snow didn't get them out of classes.
Her stomach was already in knots, but that could have been the shiny things she’d eaten the night before.
Felt like a game. What would pass. What would tie her stomach up. These little trinkets she actually dug for, cleaned with bleach, and stacked on that empty shelf. Organized each item. Admired her display of will and control. Mostly keys and buttons. Couple nuts from a toolbox in their garage.
So far, everything came out. So far. Evie wondered what her insides would look like and tried to slow. Tried despite all the noise.
Calculus was first. Thankfully, she shared it with Heather who was all smiles. Chattering about her surprise mini trip with her parents.
They had it with Tommy and Carol too. All the fucking grins and looks Evie got burned. Tommy peering then shifting to Carol’s ear so she could giggle.
Evie’s pencil snapped within her fist so Heather glanced aside to see the pieces roll away.
“Okay, muscles.” She chuckled, passing a freshly sharpened one over.
“Thanks.”
“So, what’d you do for New Years?” All the scratching of lead on paper was driving Evie insane. Grating like an out of tune orchestra of vibrating strings.
“Just some lame party, the usual.” Evie was rubbing the back of her neck. Eyes glued to the page.
Carol giggled again. Fingernails sunk into the skin of Evie's hairline.
“Don’t know what her problem is.” Heather remarked to herself.
Evie shook her head. Lips pressing with no sound. Trying to focus on the problems along the page and not the ones fizzling in her life. Her desk was pressed into the far right wall next to all the campy posters teachers loved to decorate their rooms in.
About how there's always a silver lining and chase the morning.
Evie rolled her eyes at the thought. Caught sight of a sleek thumbtack there sticking out. Shiny and chrome. Lungs pulsed and she wondered about the weight on her tongue.
Strange how her mouth watered for it.
Two fingers subtly snatched it from the wall when the bell rang.
Second period was usually what she was excited about. English with Bowers and the sly smiles they beamed at each other across the room. Carol always looked between them. Jealous she wasn’t the hot teacher’s pet. She noticed a great deal there.
Evie shared the class with Steve also. And Billy who sat in the next row over just behind her. He stared at Evie, trying to read every twitch and shift of her body. A note hit her desk from Steve.
Brown eyes peered up as if to ask who it was being passed to, but he cocked his chin at her.
Fredrick sat quietly at his desk as they worked separately today. He didn’t see her unfold it.
What’s up with Hargrove? Looks like he’s trying to vaporize you with his laser eyes.
Evie hitched to stop herself from laughing at a picture with a stick figure and a mullet. Lasers blasting out of the eyes. She added some comically large muscles. Cleared her throat and wrote back.
He’s a creep.
Steve quirked a darling smile at her.
Billy saw a flash of stark, bloody red. Harrington made her grin without force.
“Okay, class, let’s see who read the material. Pass your papers up.” Fredrick stood to collect. “I’ll be reading these tonight and- Ah, Mr. Hargrove. Thank you for the scribbling of your Camaro. I hope the essay question is as detailed.”
“Been thinking about upgrading my girl, sir. Say, what do you drive?” Billy tapped his pencil, lazy as can be. “Cool guy, I bet.”
“Just a Plymouth. We muscle cars have to stick together.” Fredrick was pulling stacks of papers from the front. Billy didn’t drop it.
“That orange one? Yeah. I’ve seen it around.” Blue eyes drew to Evie at that. She felt a chill and peered back with a stony expression. “Bet the girlies all line up.”
A few classmates chuckled for their glorious king.
“It gets me from point A to B. That’s all I ask for.” Bowers only laughed.
"I'm sure it does." Billy mused coolly, fingers twisting his ring which caught the light.
The bell blared.
“Alright, class. We’re starting a new unit tomorrow. I hope you all have your Shakespeare hats ready.”
A collective groan sounded.
Evie rushed out to Yearbook with Jonathan, Nancy, and Heather. Only class she had where Seniors and Juniors mixed. Besides lunch if that counted. Got lost in dark rooms so the world couldn’t see her hands shaking.
"Here." Jonathan caught her trying to clip some photos up, fumbling with a stack.
"Thanks," Evie sighed, "too many pages for our losing sports teams, right?"
He chuckled at that.
"My thoughts exactly."
Jonathan went to help Nancy order some drafted pages when Heather crossed over. Eyes on Evie working.
"Something the matter?"
"Bourbon's not doing well. I expected it, but...he's just been with me through all of it. You know?" A frown etched. She didn't want to cry. Heather paused to hug Evie from behind.
"He's our little prince still. I'm sorry."
Her friend shifted out, pressed a smile and went back to work in silence. Groaned because Billy was in half these basketball photos. Alight and intense.
“Hey, I’m going to the library for lunch.” Evie spoke after that bell rang. “I’ll scarf my sandwich on the way.”
Heather observed her again. Watched how Evie avoided her eyes.
“Was...something else going on? I feel like I-”
“No, just missing the break.” Evie flashed her teeth to make it convincing.
She did manage to get half the sandwich down and tossed the rest out. Patted cold water on her cheeks once she was alone in the bathroom as everyone went to lunch. The hallway got quieter and Evie looked at her flushed face. Shuddered and reached for the pin in her pocket. Small. Deft. Dainty.
Stark point. Catching the light.
She washed it with soap. Opened her mouth to stick her tongue out. Cradled it there. Chrome and out of place against pink flesh. Lips closed. The point pressed down into her tongue. Evie winced. Tried to swallow and choked it back into her hand. Saliva dripping.
A spot of red welled. Loud and obscene and horrible. Tasting metal. Shame. Tears pooled.
So she pushed it back in like she’d done with the key to drown the noise out. Evie Fenny wasn’t a fucking quitter.
Swallow. Swallow. Swallow.
It scratched going down. Working around clenching muscles. Pangs fluttered. Fingers grasped the sink to bite a groan back.
Evie thought she heard the little plink of it hitting her stomach. Gasped to breathe. There wasn’t shame anymore, only pride. She powered through it. Had utter control.
Eyes locked with the mirror. Calm. Collected. Not in this body. Rust turned to sweet strawberries and rose petals.
Imagine stabbing something several times until it was beautiful.
Exhale.
** ** **
Carol and her gaggle still kept the laughter up in the cafeteria. She sat upon the table with Tommy next to her. Animated stories kept them hanging upon dripping syllables. Heather couldn’t stand it anymore. Pushed up to cross right over.
“What’s your problem today?” She cocked her hip.
“Oooh.” Carol clicked her glittery nails on the table. “So touchy, sweet pea.”
“What’s your problem with Evie, she didn’t do anything to you?”
“Other than her being a tart for Bowers. Nothing to me. In fact, she provides us with hours of entertainment. Had a hot date with the Keg King.” Carol nodded toward Billy across the way, sitting alone and clicking his lighter. Annoyed, he got up and went to sneak his usual lunch smoke.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Uh, isn’t Fenny your BFF?” Tina chimed in. “Shouldn’t you know?”
“Aw, that’s so cute, she didn’t tell you.” Tommy added with his crooked smile. “Must be so embarrassed. Poor girl.”
“You have five seconds-”
“I’m gonna tell you.” Carol decided. Finger curling to bring Heather in. “Only because it’s just too good.”
** ** **
Billy got one puff in before Princess Heather Holloway was smacking the cigarette from his fingers. Snarling and bright red to match the cute bow in her hair.
“Hey!”
“Hey yourself, what the fuck?” She pushed Billy clear into the brick wall. Chilled him more than the breeze. A new flutter of snow began to fall with no peace in sight. Her face was flushed cherry with anger. “I know about your little Skirt Safari bullshit! You tricked Evie! You hurt my friend...you’re an asshole.”
Billy just sagged at her. Reached to pluck up his cigarette and got it slapped again. Heather crushed it with her expensive shoe for good measure.
“You had no right to do something so disgusting! Carol and Tommy filled me in.”
His brow lifted.
“...Evie didn’t tell you?”
“The last thing Evie wants is for people to see her in pain, so I know you hurt her bad.” Her arms crossed. “Well?” A cold breath puffed.
“It wasn’t supposed to-”
“You mean, she wasn’t supposed to find out about the bet. You’re so selfish. You’re a selfish little prick. Stay the hell away from my friend.”
She turned and a hand snatched her wrist.
“Heath-”
“What?” She shrugged with some extra ire. Eyes flickering like flames. “I think you’ve done enough.”
Billy let her go, looked elsewhere. No syllables to make her stop fuming. Heather huffed at him and marched back inside to find Evie at her locker. Shoulders dropped.
“Hey…” Heather’s slow approach still gave Evie a fright. Huge doe eyes looking far too somber.
A sigh.
“Who told you?”
“Carol and those jerks.” Heather pressed her lips. “Just scared Hargrove shitless, I think. I’m sorry, I wish you told me. You said you'd tell me things.”
“This thing... It doesn’t matter. He tricked me, whatever.” Evie’s arms went out then dropped. She faced her locker. Toyed with the handle and pressed her book closer. “It was all stupid. For a moment, I thought he… I thought a boy might-”
“He’s a little prick.” Heather turned her friend around.
“We had fun. We danced. I kissed him first. Did Carol tell you that part?” Evie sucked in some air.
"Oh?"
“Yeah, I kissed him and I was going to screw him too. I was gonna go to a motel with Billy Hargrove for New Years and, you know, I...I wanted to. I really wanted him... But, it doesn’t matter. They can talk about it all they like.” She moved to go, slamming her locker shut. “I don’t care. It won’t bother me. It's stupid. All of it.”
“Evie, don’t shut down, please.”
“I’m fine.” Sneakers skidded when Heather stepped in front of her. "Boys like Billy Hargrove don't go for girls like me. He doesn't want me. That's not news."
Evie remembered all the hot bodies jumping around. The crowds and fireworks blasting along with a musical beat. Moments where she'd felt incandescently delighted next to Billy and the lingering of their starry eyes. Like they'd been meant to find each other all this time.
"Getting mad about this is the same as being upset about the pattern of stars. It's pointless." Evie swallowed a thicker lump down.
No, that's what ached. Billy made her believe they could be rewritten. Made her want to defy the stars.
“Let’s hang out this weekend. A no boys party for both of us.” Heather smiled, taking Evie's hand. “He’s not even a boy, Eve, he’s a little prick. Let’s just have some fun. Friday? Sleepover. You pick the first movie.”
“I’m fine, Heath,” the words sounded funny now, “but okay. Sleepover.”
“Good.” A brighter smile crossed so Evie matched it. She let Heather hug her and managed to make it through classes all the way to her free period avoiding Billy’s eyes on her skull. Sneaking out was an art form she’d perfected. Quick steps to her locker and toward the door. Stopping only to see into the theater when stage lights turned rose red.
Evie peeked in. Beamed.
“Mr. B.” She shuffled inside after checking the hallway. "Fredrick."
“I’m alone, Evie, come sit with me.” He patted the table next to the lightboard he was working on. The glow changed to a softer pink. Made it all less menacing. Bathed in blush, she crossed the illumination and scooted up onto the cool surface. Skirt shifting over black tights. “Bad day?”
“Bad start to the year.”
"Classmates? I can always fail them for you." He'd joked.
She smiled, head shaking so he continued.
“They’re intimidated by you, Evie, because you’re too ahead and mature for them. Soon, you'll be out in the world and they'll be left stumbling.” He peeked up behind a pair of glasses. This was old times. Encouragement. Nurturing. “Much like the director of the winter show who asked me to fix this damn thing last minute.”
She giggled then, touching her lips.
“You look pretty in this light. You should wear pink more often, instead of red.” He remarked and she crossed her ankles. Hands gripping the edge.
“Red makes me look and feel older.” Evie asserted herself.
“What about that wet gloss you used to wear in class?” His finger brushed her knee before he was picking up a screwdriver.
“Thought you didn’t like to kiss me with gloss on, you said it was too sticky.”
“I appreciate it more now that I’ve lost it. Just like you, Evie. You were there for me. It's something special to have a person. Don't you think?” He winked. Fredrick Bowers made her laugh and smile. Listened to her and gave back. Most days.
All she longed for was to impress him. Please him. Be enough for someone.
"It's not fair that I cannot kiss you here." He uttered. "Now. I'd like to."
"Just kiss me?" Evie flicked some curls, drew her fingers across her collar so he fixated there.
Played this version of herself that came out around him. This woman in red with cool words. Always game. She bit her lip and he paused to see her again. A smile crossed before they were interrupted.
Evie looked up as the door opened and Carol stood there. A glare already on her pouty face. Fredrick scooted a good few inches from Evie. Quickly.
“Sorry, I just had some questions about the reading. Mr. B.” Carol flashed a smile.
"Of course, Carol. My door is always open. Evie, thank you for the inquires. I'll be getting back with you. Soon."
Evie perked and got up.
“I'll hold you to that... We just finished. Thanks, Mr. B. For all the help.” She seemed all too chipper at Carol going green with envy. The redhead knocked into her shoulder passing, but Evie gripped her bag and went out. Frowned at the snow piling because she’d ridden her bike in.
Still, Evie was stubborn, so she got on and pedaled down the street. Sleet making it more difficult when a fucking Camaro revved down the way behind her. Billy honked once and got ignored. Pulled up in front of her and skidded over which sent Evie into a pile of frosty, dead leaves. Tumbling.
“Hell.” She just laid there until Billy Hargrove was in the line of sight. Craning to see her and utterly stunning against the opal skies. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, huh? Three hundred bucks?” She untwisted from her bike and Billy yanked her up, brushing snow aside until he got smacked off with two heated expressions penetrating.
“You’re screwing Bowers, aren’t you?” He’d hissed it.
Oof.
“You’re delusional.” Evie charged past him. Legs aching as she pushed her bike.
“Max saw you in his car. He’s always looking at you. Is that where you go when you sneak out your window three times a week?”
“No!” Evie swiveled. Breath ghosting.
“But, you’re still fucking him.” Billy slid in front, hands on the bike handles to stop her again. There was a struggle. Her cheeks puffing as she feebly tried to push him back. Teeth clenched.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Will you just move?” Her entire face scrunched together. All daggers. Slowing, Evie spelled it out for him. Drew closer. “And no one will ever believe you.”
“You think I’m trying to make your life worse, Angel? I just want you to admit it.”
"Admit, what? You have major issues? Fine! Easy! Now move!" She barely got a few inches forward with his muscles buldging. Two immovable objects.
"Open those pretty lips and say it. You're fucking our teacher. I wanna hear it from that mouth." Billy paused, chest shuddering. "You went to him after what I did. I should have stayed with you."
“I don’t owe you any of this. You're obsessed!” She shoved into him. No budging, the boy was made of steel.
“He’s a fucking pedophile. We had those in California too, chica. Maybe they don’t like the term round these parts. You think he's making you feel good, but he's setting you on fire to warm himself. That fuse is creeping, babe.” Billy pushed back until she was sliding toward his car. Slush wetting their shoes.
"You're unbelievable!"
“I’m not looking to tell anyone, got that?" Billy caught her gaze in the teetering. Held it. "I’m just saying you don’t have to do it. Anyone ever tell you that you don't have to do something, Evangeline?"
Evie stopped pushing to stare with bigger eyes as he continued. Expression crestfallen because something resonated.
"Being a good girl has a cost, you do everything people tell you to do until your organs start spilling.”
“I'm not the only one with a front. Fuck you!”
A beat.
“You almost did that night.” Billy cocked his head. "I would have made you moan so pretty. I wanted to." Evie’s mouth dropped before she shoved him into the snow. Bike falling away. He looked thrilled. About to pitch a fucking denim tent. “There you are. I would have fucked you so hard and so good, babe. Bet you even taste like heaven and stardust. Yeah? Fucking hit me.”
“Hit you?” Evie stilled over him. “You’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Fuck off, Billy.” She yanked at her bike again. He puffed there, chest sinking before he shot back up. Newfound vigor.
Growled.
“I’m sorry.”
Even the snow stilled with him. She swerved and saw him crack.
“Evie, I’m fucking sorry, okay? I’m shit at this and I‘m sorry. I’m sorry I took you to that stupid dance and screwed you over. I'm sorry you got hurt. I am sorry, got it!”
“You’re sorry that you got caught.” She pointed.
“I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Listen, Billy,” Evie spun and dropped her bike, “I don’t need anything from you. Nothing. Okay? Just let it go, I really don’t know why you can’t. Be sorry somewhere else. The stars are where they are. Life goes on.”
“Fuck the stars! They're too far away to stop us. I kissed you after midnight. I gave the fucking money away. I wanted out of it and I fucked up. I did. I'd change that, but I wouldn't change the night with you. Hear me? I didn't lie about that much." He strained to catch those brown eyes.
She opened her mouth and closed it quicker. Almost softened.
"I didn't fake that and I was shitty to take you to that place. That fucker Tannen used me to get back at you and I’m fucking sorry about it.” Billy seemed to rage the thoughts out. “You liked it too. The kiss. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”
"If you call that a kiss." Sarcasm seeped out.
"Yeah, I recall us sharing a couple." Billy laughed. Dry and disbelieving. "I was drunk, but I remember every damn second of how you felt."
“You’re not fooling me again.” Evie crushed in on herself, pressed onward. Skidding to go away from Billy Hargrove. What the hell could he possibly want out of this?
“I’ll leave you alone,” Billy sprang forward and grabbed her back wheel, “if you kiss me again and tell me it’s nothing. Just one more. Redo it. Yeah? To hell with the stars, we'll change them.”
She looked in awe at him. Shoulders dropped.
"It wasn't even that good of a kiss."
"Then, what do you have to lose over another bad one?" Billy's head tilted up. Wild as can be. Evie matched it. Both of their curls moving up against the sweep of cold winds. Hungry looks about them. Billy undid her with a damning utter. "Prove me wrong, Angel."
He fucking triple dog dared her.
Evie practically kicked her bike aside, stomped toward him, and grabbed his face to smash their lips together. Billy pounced back with a barely there sound. Shoved Evie into the side of his car.
Another vehicle honked and went around them. Probably too shocked to do much else with teenagers unable to control their hormones in the middle of the road.
Moaning like he was in a porno, Billy made this one count. Hands palmed at her ass, bringing Evie up a few inches. Tongue down her throat near ready to prick himself on the pin she'd swallowed.
She hitched as he pulled her hair to see lush hooded eyes again. But, briefly.
"Yeah?" He twisted those curls around, both of them moaned. Challenge dancing. You like that, Angel? Evie's fingers were clutching at his jacket. A nod followed. She let him trail his tongue against her lips and opened her mouth for it again. Tasted spearmint.
Drunken bodies kept moving and smacking back into his car. Billy even tried to pull her shirt up out of her skirt to touch the flesh underneath. Evie jolted out from him, having not been ravished like that by a boy so unafraid to touch her.
And she shuddered apart. Kept her eyes closed so Billy did too.
It was the only way to prolong this. A softer kiss where their noses brushed after. Foreheads pressing together. Ardent and lovely. Total silence was a thrill. Billy nuzzled his nose into her own again, pulling her body into his. Fingers crept barely under her shirt. Caressed the tender skin. Lungs and hearts needy beyond repair.
Constellations twisting together until a single question dawned. Can I keep you?
Evie quaked for air and saw him. Lashes long and too beautiful. Freckles. Snow falling like confetti. An ache flooded back. The pin pricks in her tongue jabbed. Arms pushed up at him. Felt the thumping in his chest.
Holding his jaw steady, lipstick smeared to damn them both.
“Do you always kiss the same way a thirsty dog laps at water?” She shoved him backwards. A spit trail left their mouths. Red glistened on Billy’s lips and chin. A sleazy grin cracked, tongue wiggling out to taste her still on him. Neither could breathe right.
“Haven’t had complaints.” He gasped for air. “Are you judging my technique?”
“Yeah, it sucks.” Evie puffed with more force. “And I felt nothing. Got it? Nothing. Leave me alone now.”
“You’re a shitty liar.” He watched her swerve.
“And you’re a shitty person!” She wiped her mouth. Billy stopped dead, dropped everything he was feeling to let that pierce him. “I felt nothing! Leave me alone.”
“No.” Billy decided as she plucked her bike up.
“No?"
"You heard me." A child. "No. Nope. Nada."
"But, you just said-”
“I fucking lied and now you know how it’s done.” He went around his car. “Maybe I’m a shitty person, but at least I don’t hate myself enough to lie and screw-”
“Spare me!” Evie screamed over him. Chilling. She got onto her bike and went down a dirt path so Billy couldn’t follow her.
“Fuck.” Billy slammed his car door getting back in. Revved up again, hitting the wheel. “Fuck!”
He’d made it worse.
** ** **
Billy made an attempt to leave Evie Fenny alone. Sorta. Didn’t even stare at her in school. Didn’t bring up Bowers. Pretended he didn’t hear her sneaking out to wherever.
He even tried screwing other girls. Drinking and partying to forget.
Another problem came with that.
He couldn’t keep his shit up. Tried everything. Got into bed with two girls and stayed soft. Pretended he was just too smashed.
All he saw was Evie Fenny looking at him with her huge, sad eyes. It made him furious and he tried to hate her. Tried to jerk himself off and only thought of her lipstick smearing his skin. Her amber perfume drowning his senses. Her body flush against his.
Then, he was coming.
He felt like shit about all of it and that turned to rage. No hate came, it just burnt.
Meanwhile, Evie was lining pins and screws up for her collection. She wrote down every little thing she ate and what came out.
It was supposed to all come out eventually and she'd be there to control it.
She thought of the amethyst gemstone sparkling inside her and wondered how such a thing could make her feel so happy and alive.
Even when her stomach began to ache with little pricks through the day. Even when her appetite was often ruined. Even with she tried again at times to stop it for good. The cravings undid her.
She smiled through the pain just like she was taught. A woman's disposition.
I am fine. This is fine.
Something collided distantly. Two arrows through the same heart. Spitting blood everywhere.
One night, Evie wasn’t sneaking out.
Billy still heard her scratching around the side of the house. Couldn’t help peeking to see her dragging a shovel. Holding a painted square under one arm. She set a decorated shoe box aside and started digging a hole just at the back corner of her house. Struggling to break ice and snow. Head bowed so wet curls covered her chilled face.
He opened his window.
“Hey.”
“Go away.” She sniffled. Crying.
Billy hadn’t heard or seen her cry. Not even over him and what he did. Not for anything. The sound jarred him, he thought she might have been holding in laughter.
Blue eyes drew to the box again and he realized it. Bourbon. The strange cat hadn’t been spying on him lately.
“Please,” she turned her neck to barely peer at him through red rimmed eyes, “just go away.” Evie wiped her nose and let a fresh sprinkling of snow melt on her cheeks. She still looked pretty there, utterly fatigued. Wispy, wet curls framing her splotchy expression.
"You took good care of him." Was all he said. Evie turned back. Shoulders lifting.
Billy did the only thing he could do for once.
He left Evie alone.
Listened to her hum and dig to bury the beloved cat. Billy didn’t see Evie stuff a handful of soil into her pocket and go back inside to her empty house because her mother was always out with friends or working. She went to the phone in her bedroom. Luckily, Evie got her own line two Christmases ago. She dialed.
“Hello?” Her prince.
“Can I come over?” Evie sniffled. “Bourbon died.”
“Who?”
“My cat.” Dark eyes narrowed before she started to pick at some peeling wallpaper. “You remember?” She talked about the little ball of fuzz all the time.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate, Evie.” Fredrick sighed for her. “I’m not sure after what happened last weekend. I still think you need time.”
She spazzed out as the teenagers say.
“I just...wasn’t comfortable doing that. The ropes freaked me out, I can’t explain it.” She shook her head. "I can try again, can I come over?"
"So, now I'm just pushing you into it? Don't make me the bad guy, Evie, I won't be that. I'm here for you, but I want to go at your pace. You know that."
"No, no, you're not pushing," came the protest, "I can do it. I'll try. I just wanna see you. I need to be touched." That sentiment got her welling again.
“Evie, it’s like you don’t trust me to look after you.” He replied in a clinical sort of way. “I’m risking everything to be with you."
"I know."
He said it often.
"You couldn't stop crying," he sniffled like he might weep over it, "you make me feel so helpless at times. Do you realize that?"
"I"m sorry..." Evie crushed into the phone as he made it about him. His needs. His inability to keep her happy. That was her fault.
"Too often, I think your head is just up in the clouds. These nightmares you have and the way you press into the wall when you sleep. Like you don't want me to touch you. And last week, dear, you just...wouldn't stop crying."
"I promise I won't cry anymore." She's promised her mother that as well in silence. "I swear. I'll stop."
"This fixation on your little poems. We used to have adult conversations about the future. It's like a part of you is locked away. You don't want me to touch it. What’s the matter with you?”
“Songs.” Evie replied flatter.
“What?”
“They’re songs, not poems.”
“I just mean, you should be more practical."
"I don't know what's wrong with me." Evie decided at last. Clutching the phone cord in her shaken fist. Haunted. "I can't stop."
She didn't know if she wanted to. This cycle that was eating her.
"I got back into this because I wanted you. I see a future with us. Do you want me just as bad? Think on it. I'll give you the time. When you're ready, I'm here.” Bowers advised. He wanted her to want him so bad. “We’ll talk another day. Next weekend maybe.”
"Fredrick, please-"
The line cut.
She'd been too needy, he like that on his terms. Liked when she crawled and when she needed him so bad. When she gave into everything he desired without a fuss. Fredrick wanted Evie, but he wanted a specific version of Evie. The bouncy girls on television game for anything, who had every answer. Fizzling emotions unsettled him. They were childish. But, he wanted her lips to be glossy and pink. Wanted her to be an adult woman in a spring breaking teen's body.
You'd think he was still married to his uptight wife and fucking the damn babysitter.
Evie set the phone down. Stuffed a handful of dirt into her lips. Smothered herself with it. Gritty, it stuck to her teeth like an Oreo cookie. Tiny stones shifted as she tried to swallow too much at once. She got another handful in before her gag reflex choked her. Feet scrambled to puke brown and bile into the toilet.
The Lego she ate earlier came up too. Found it helping Claudia and Dustin clear their basement. Shiny and blue.
Her stomach curdled. A few tears squeezed before she was scooping that up. Slippery with acidic bile. Pushing it back into her mouth. With her throat raw, it hurt worse the second time but it went down.
Control. She was in total control. That’s what she told herself. Curled up next to the toilet. Scalp heating while her lips hung slack.
“Nothing is the matter with me.” Evie told herself because stopping meant that thudding ache in her chest would glow all neon and rose red.
** ** **
Billy wasn’t going to leave Evie alone. He decided that after a wet dream one morning. These things were not to be taken lightly by teenage boys.
I’m sorry. It didn't cut it. Actions, that’s what Susan advised, not that he’d admit prying advice from his chirpy stepmother. Vague as can be, Billy hung out in the kitchen doorway dropping rough hints.
Maxine was more blunt when Susan asked her later.
“Oh, yeah, he’s totally crushing on Evie and he messed it all up.” She said between the lazy crunching of salty chips.
“That’s what I thought.” Susan sighed. An hour of Billy barking and hiding around the doorway told Susan that much. She was young once.
“But, he did something. She’s mad at him.”
“Well, Neil works late tomorrow, I asked Billy if he’d take me to Mona’s salon. She wanted me to go out with her friends. A dessert and wine thing she likes to host.”
“Did you tell Neil?” Max was fixing a wheel on her skateboard and snacking. Poor thing wasn't getting use with all the snow fall. Susan only smiled.
“Would you like to go get your hair done?”
“Ick.” Max cringed at the thought of those huge rollers and hairspray.
“Max.” Susan replied carefully. “Evie works tomorrow, doesn’t she? Saturday.”
She got the idea with her eyes lighting up.
“Oh!” Max blew air out her lips. “Just this once, then.”
“That’s my girl.” Susan figured if Billy was convinced it was all her idea, the day would go smoother.
** ** **
Something else Billy Hargrove learned about Mona was her hair changed with the seasons. Locks big and bold but now a strawberry blonde. A head start for spring despite it still being January.
Evie peered up at reception and noticeably, her face fell.
Susan figured whatever happened had to be bad. She’d never seen such a reaction from a teenage girl to her drop dead gorgeous stepson. Hell, Billy Hargrove could bat his lashes and have eggs dropping in every uterus within a fifty mile radius.
Might have been why Neil preferred to lock him in his room like he was the dirty tomcat about to impregnate all the neighborhood strays. Although, Neil had a list of reasons for how he treated Billy. None of them valid.
Mona went right for Max. Squished her cheeks in smelling of lavender hand cream.
“I’m so glad y’all are here! Maxie, I promise I won’t shock you. Just a wash and freshen. Make your hair nice and bouncy. It’ll shine. I always say: the higher the hair, the closer to God.” Mona took Susan’s hand. “C’mon over here. My new girl, Shelby, will get you started too. Little pampering does everyone good.”
“Hey.” Evie piped up, twirling a pen around. She’d eaten the cap an hour ago. Not much for chewing. Always up to the task of swallowing whole because she was a big girl.
Big girls sucked it up and swallowed.
Billy thought to go back to his car. Swayed on his feet there looking around at all the plants.
Actions.
Actions.
They speak louder than words. Billy was a screamer.
“Miss Mona, I was thinking we could… Uh, for me.”
“You want a wash too, Billy?” She perked, hair bobbing as her little platforms clicked excitedly. “Come, come, sit down. Evie can get you shampooed to start.”
Evie’s entire body locked. Billy smirked at her, but noticed an opportunity reach her eyes. The pen stabbed back into a cup. Lips spread in a devious way. He saw horns spring out of her big curls.
Fuck, she looked hot though.
It drove him wild. Evie with a fire behind her eyes. All plush curves and lingering allure. That amber perfume melted him.
“I’d be so happy to help.” She gripped Billy’s leather bomber and jerked him into a chair. He had a semi at this point. "Get comfy."
Hell, the girl was plotting a murder with that smoldering expression. Still, Billy was game because she was giving him attention. His tongue swept pink lips. Peachy skin glowing.
There was something off about Evie too. This sunken manner like her energy had been sapped. The slightest dark circles under brown eyes. Skirt Safari was barely three weeks ago. He removed his jacket when Mona reached for it to hang it with Max’s and Susan’s.
Dead boy walking.
Max snickered from her chair across the way. She and Susan sat with little floral capes, already getting their pampering. Evie moved Billy’s hair and pulled a lilac cape around his neck.
“Ack!”
“Oh? Too tight. My bad.” She snapped a button. “Put your head back. Into the sink now.”
Billy thought to pray for mercy, tilted back into the porcelain. He asked for this. The sink went on. Ice.
“Too cold?”
“Nope.” Teeth chattered. Evie had that devilish look still. Decided to make it warmer. Lifted the nozzle and hit his face.
And Billy took it. Sputtering.
“Oh, so sorry…” Her tongue clicked. Didn’t even try to sound sincere.
“Just a little water. No big deal.”
Her bottom lip pouted. She sprayed his face again. Billy snickered through the coughing, fists held the chair tight.
“You’re fucking waterboarding me, Fenny.” He'd spat, blinking rapidly.
“What?” Evie paused then kept spraying him as he tried to reply.
“You’re-”
“I’m, what?” She came off and Billy snorted before the water splashed again.
“Ngh-ffff- ”
“Can’t hear you, Billy.” Evie caught Max losing it across the way.
The boy took all the torment like a champ so she let up. He didn’t even snap when she pulled his hair shampooing it.
“I like it rough, Angel.” Billy hissed at her fingers pulling so she sprayed him again. Made him buck like a mad feline. He seemed to almost love it. This was foreplay to him.
“Creep. Don’t pitch a tent in that cape.” Evie stuffed a towel in his face. Smiled cheerfully. All syrup. “We're done, mommy.”
“Let’s see what I can do for these curls, Billy.” Mona let Claudia work on Susan while her new hire took over for Maxine. “I hope Evie gave you a good start.”
She certainly revved his motor, but he wasn't going to tell her mother that.
“So nice. I feel even more relaxed now.” Billy twitched a stressed smile. Earned himself a few good boy points.
Evie cracked a grin at him, arms crossing before she went back to reception. Unbelievable.
Mona had Billy chattering about his car and school and how he'd just turned eighteen in December. Life was coming his way. Evie took to doodling song lyrics in no order and tapped her pen. Mona either talked Billy into hair curlers or just started doing it. Which was another bout of amusement.
And Billy stared at Evie the entire time. Even when she made it a point to face away. Sat on the stool with her legs crossed, leaning forward to jot her little lyrics down. Susan swept her eyes between them.
Both relentlessly stubborn.
“Mona, I’ve been wanting to repay you back for the dinner this month. How about tomorrow? Our place this time.” Came her voice when a hair dryer shut off.
“We’ll bring the dessert.” Fingers played with Billy’s curls. Reminded him of his mother. Fluffed some life into them. He decided this salon was better than the places he used to go.
Music played, songs changing as time continued. Evie decided her luck couldn’t get any worse when Carol’s red hair appeared in her line of sight. Walking with her little friend group without Tommy. Likely headed to the nail place down the block.
Carol spotted Evie behind glass and whispered something that had her friends howling before they went.
“Bitches.” Billy sauntered up behind her. Golden hair sparkling.
“As if you had nothing to do with that.” Evie smacked her notebook shut. Sat straighter as he shook his locks out. Curls shining with lift. Like the sun just kissed them.
“How do I look?” One brow rose. Teasing.
“The same.” Gorgeous.
“Lunch?”
“Already ate.” Evie’s lips pressed when she said that. They spoke out of earshot under the music. Not noticing the glances on them.
“Guess I’ll still be seeing you for dinner tomorrow.” Billy counted some bills out. Snatched a pen and scribbled a note on a single. Dropped the money on the counter and pushed the one he’d written on into her pocket. She lifted an arm and glared, but let him. “We'll do this again some time. The back and forth. I pull your hair and you pull mine."
"Unlikely."
"Hm. Invest in waterproof red lipstick. Don't they have waterproof makeup now? Looks better on you than on me." His voice dropped.
"Wow. Cocky now, are you?"
"I just think it'll take us a lot of tries to get to a bad kiss. Don't you, Evie?" He replied pointedly, leaning over to speak in that low baritone. Pure amber honey.
"I think you're in denial, Billy. Gotta put pride aside." Evie bit her tongue and turned away. Loathed the blush glittering her cheeks.
"Takes one to know. I’ll wait for Max in the car. Need a smoke. See you around, Angel.” Billy swayed off after grabbing his coat. Out into the cold.
Evie put his money in their register and plucked the dollar out.
“Sorry. -A shithead.”
Billy had even gone out of his way to draw a little frowny face with a tear. Evie caught him looking at her from his car and rolled her eyes, stuffing the bill away.
Tried not to smile. Failed.
“Billy doesn’t do this kind of thing.” Max appeared a bit later. Glowy and red. Vibrant. “Just...so you know.”
“It shows.” Evie sighed out her nose. Watched Max say bye to her mother since she was staying with Mona before hurrying out into the Camaro. One rev and it skidded off. Snow flurries falling in its wake.
“She seemed mad,” Max had said in the car, “but, maybe less mad.”
“It was a big fuck up. She’ll be mad a long time.”
“And that bothers you.”
“No.” Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. Watched his sister’s lips press before he scoffed. “Max, I did something evil. You understand? Evie wants fuck all to do with me.”
And he couldn't throw her from his thoughts.
“What did you do?” Max leaned in to press the subject. “Just tell me.”
The gist of it came out by the time they parked at Cherry Lane.
Max just blinked at him. Flared. Billy cut the engine and paused, glancing at her.
“Why do boys do this to girls?” She asked, fists clenched in her lap. Rigid and puffy. “I don’t understand. Are my friends going to be like you when they get older?”
“No, Max, they’re not. I’m a piece of shit.” His shoulders came up.
“And you didn’t have to be… Keep groveling, you owe Evie that much.” She slammed the door when she got out. Expected to get barked at and slowed because he made no move. Just flicked his lighter open and closed there. Blue eyes on the steering wheel.
Exhaling into the frost, Max came around the car and jerked Billy’s door open.
“You suck at this. She doesn’t want you to do this self-deprecating game where you play the asshole victim. She wants a real apology.”
“I don’t know what the fuck she wants me to say anymore.”
“Maybe you don’t have to say anything to her.” Max paused. “Those girls and people at school, they’re mean to her. Aren't they? You’re the Keg King. Are you really going to let that happen?”
“They’re just fucking assholes, ignore them.”
“Easy for you to say being popular. What happened to Evie during the dance has been happening to her through all of high school. Don’t you see that? If you really cared, you’d do something to stop it.” The door shut on Billy before he could reply.
Max went up into the house, left him to stew on that until he followed her inside. Away from the snow and Evie’s penetrating eyes that were beginning to haunt him.
~~~~
Tensions are just shooting all directions with these two dorks. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to chat or ask about the taglist!!
TAGGED: @80sbxtch @nottherightseason @orxhidshavana @alagalaska @alongcamedolly @kellyk-chan @billy--hargroves
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Perfection
Finn Bálor x reader
Fluff/Smut
(y/n) and Finn see each other at a BBQ that the whole roster attends. Everyone sits around a fire sharing funny stories. (y/n) and Finn quickly become interested in each other, as the others notice.
(Reposting some of my works. If you want to get tagged or untagged, let me know.) Tags:
@xfirespritex | @hardcorewwetrash | @shadow-of-wonder | @oreillyskyle | @wwesmutdonedirtcheap | @wwe-smutfics | @heelsamizayn | @heygargano | @helluvawriter | @tryingtofindaplaceinthisworld | @dorkyvillain | @caramara3 |
It’s Saturday, a chilly yet sunny one. Today, a giant BBQ is taking place, organized by WWE to promote socialization and friendship, and pretty much the whole roster will be attending it, whether it’s NXT, Raw or Smackdown, wrestlers or announcers.
You just arrived at the location, and damn, the place is crowded already. You spot some familiar faces among the crowd, and a cozy fire to warm up the evening sitting in the middle of it, some wrestlers already chilling around it.
You spot your friend Bayley there, so you head her way, waving at her in distance. She finally sees you and waves back, smiling.
“Hey girl!” She greets, smiling widely, as she pulls you down to sit next between her and Finn. You never really talked to him, just the basic greetings, but he seemed nice.
“Hey girlie!” You greet her back, sitting down. “Hi Finn.” You say, sounding shier than you intended.
“Hi (y/n).” He replies, smiling widely, his sparkling blue eyes locking on your brown ones. You stood like that a couple of seconds, until Bayley knocked you out of it.
“What took you so long?” She started, poking your chest playfully.
You spent almost half an hour talking to Bayley, up until she decided to go to the bathroom and left you alone, well not alone, lonely. And that was when Finn decided to speak to you.
“So, what are you up to?” He asks, clearly intending to start a conversation with you.
“Eh, not much, just the usual: traveling, training, crossfitting, interviewing, announcing… You?” You shrug it off, grinning, then turning to face him.
“Well, same, except that interviewing part. Replace that with wrestling and we’re good.” He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink. “But what I meant was besides our jobs. What do you do?”
“Oh. Sorry.” You mumble, feeling slightly stupid for not getting what he meant. Way to play a fool of yourself. “I… I like to listen to music and going to concerts, for one. And have lazy days and movie nights at the coziness of my home.”
“That makes two of us.” He acknowledges, once again smiling.
You and Finn sat there talking, getting to know each other, during the whole evening. Sharing experiences, funny stories, scary stories… You got along so well, it was unbelievable. Neither of you actually noticed how fast the time flew by.
Sasha and Bayley even sent you a questioning look, followed by a smirk. Those two were already planning some sort of movie on their minds for sure. Even Sami shot a knowing look at Finn. Even a blind person could see how into each other the two of you were. It was that palpable.
From that day on, you and Finn grew closer and closer. You texted each other every day, even FaceTimed. And damn, the sexual tension, the flirting, the sexual innuendos were just being too much to handle on the past few weeks.
Today, Finn invited you for one of those movie nights you both enjoyed so much. You couldn’t bring yourself to say no, because only God knows how much you want to be with him and spend time with him.
You dressed casually and comfortably: a pair of black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. You offered to bring some popcorn or a pizza, but Finn refused, saying he had everything under control. You laughed, but deep down, seeing how dedicated and adorable he was, made your heart flutter.
You had barely knocked on the door when Finn opened it. He didn’t want to seem desperate or over anxious for your arrival. And you didn’t think so, you actually found it very cute, even more because you were literally the same.
“Hi!” He greets excitedly, stepping aside to let you in.
“Hey, I hope I’m not late.” You say softly, getting inside his apartment. He had tons of Lego sets, even a couple of boxes with some still unopen, a couple of pics hanging on the wall. You were still taking in the details of his apartment, when he snapped you out of it.
“Of course you’re not late.” He rubs the back of his head, smiling nervously. “Uh, you go sit down on the couch, I’ll grab the popcorn and a soda… or water? Yeah, you probably want water.” You start chuckling at his rambles, and he stops to gather his thoughts for a few seconds. “Or I’ll just bring both. And I���ll be right back.” And with that he disappears into the kitchen.
You took the opportunity to make yourself comfortable, sitting down on the couch and taking off your shoes, then pulling your legs on top of the couch. After a while, Finn finally appears carrying a cup of popcorn and two bottles of water and two cans of soda, and a black blanket tossed over his shoulder.
He smiles and then settles the drinks and popcorn down on the small table in front of the couch. Then, he sits down next to you, mirroring your previous actions, but crossing his legs instead, and after, places the blanket over the both of you.
“So, you can choose the movie.” He offers softly, as he gets settled.
“Okay, sure.” You smile, taking the remote from his hands.
As you were scrolling down the movie’s list on his TV, he was scrolling down his Instagram feed after posting a pic, and when he was done, he resettled himself, somehow ending up touching your foot’s palm and you yelped, letting out a chuckle. You were very ticklish.
“Good to know that you’re so ticklish.” He chuckles, but couldn’t dismiss the teasing hint in his tone.
“Oh yeah? How’s that?” You smirk, stopping your actions and turning to him, giving him your full attention. The sexual tension is thick and tense in the air right now.
“I don’t know, it might be a valuable information in a close future.” He grins widely, turning his whole body to you.
“Oh is that so?” You purr, kneeling down on the couch and leaning towards him. “How close are we talking about?”
“Very… Very close. Apparently.” He mutters, swallowing hard at your advances, somehow surprised. Enjoying his awkwardness, you move back to your first position. “Or maybe not.” He mumbles, indecipherably.
You grab the remote again, continuing your task, and obviously, pretending to be unbothered by what just happened. He stayed quiet and lost in thought for a while. Until he finally snapped out of it.
“Oh fuck it.” He mumbles right before he leans in, hooking a finger under your chin, and presses his lips to yours rather softly.
You easily respond to his kiss, melting down to his touch instantly. He pulls your body down on the couch, gently hovering over you as he kept kissing you.
“What about the movie?” You mumble against his lips, not exactly sure why you even brought it up. He stops the kiss, looking at you confused. “Forget it.” You snap quickly, hooking a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down for another kiss.
“We can watch the movie if you want.” He mutters, breaking the kiss and trying to control his breathing. You could feel his hard-on pressing against you, and the movie was the last thing on your mind right now.
“Fuck the movie, Finn.” You chuckle, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. “No, I’m sorry.” You apologize, confusion filling his features. “Fuck me.”
That request switched something on him. Even though you were clearly on the same page and meaning the same with those innuendos, saying the exact words meant something to him. He starts removing your sweatshirt, biting his lower lip in anticipation.
He growls lowly when he notices you’re not wearing a bra. He tosses your sweatshirt near his own, his hands instantly caressing your boobs and pinching your nipples. Now you were the one biting your lips in anticipation. You couldn’t wait to feel him fully.
“Oh, c’mon, Finn…” You whine in desperation. You’re feeling his erection against you, you’re so wet that it’s getting uncomfortable and man, no foreplay is needed honestly, there was so much buildup.
“What, love?” He whispers as he peppers kisses down your collarbone and chest.
“You know what.” You reply, failing to dismiss your eagerness. He stopped his actions to face you, urging you to explain. “I need you, Finn. All of you. Right now.”
He didn’t need to be told twice. In under a minute, he stripped you off your leggings and panties, and he got rid of his own sweatpants and underwear. He starts kissing down your body and you knew damn well what he was about to do. And even though, you’d love to have him do it, you needed him.
“Finn, don’t. I need you inside.” You plead, running your fingers through his hair, as you feel his hot breath grazing the inside of your thighs.
“But love… I want to make this last…” He confesses, pouting softly.
“We have the whole night.” You wink, smiling down at him. He loved that idea, the grin he had plastered on his face gave him way. He lightly bit the inside of your thigh, before trailing kisses up your body, until he finally reaches your lips and kisses you deeply.
He strokes himself a couple of times, before pushing inside of you. The sight in front of you had you drooling, and your heart fluttering. You had no doubt you could easily fall madly in love with this man. And damn, you’re sure you’re already halfway through.
He starts thrusting into you, slowly at first so you could adjust yourself to him. He picked up a steady rhythm. One that allowed you to keep kissing and caressing each other’s bodies, savoring the moment.
You groped his ass a couple of times, also running your hands up and down his thick back. He gradually starts picking up a faster rhythm, as you both approached your peaks.
Neither of you spoke. The only thing hearable in the room was your moans, his growls and the sound of your skin slapping against each other. It was all so intimate, and sexy. You feel like you’ve known him… his body, for ages.
He kept thrusting into you, as he nips on your skin, leaving marks everywhere. You’re sure you’re leaving marks on him as well, so you’re even.
A couple more minutes later, you both came, shuddering and cursing, riding your orgasms out. That was the more intense sex you’ve ever had, that much you’re sure.
When you both calmed down, he got off you, and picked up the blanket from the floor. He laid behind you, and pulled the blanket above the both of you. Then, he pulled you to him by wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.
“Movie now?” You chuckle, leaning up and placing a kiss on his jaw.
“Post-sex cuddles and a movie? Sounds like perfection to me.”
#wwe imagine#wwe oneshot#wwe one shot#wwe fanfiction#wwe fanfic#wwe fic#wwe reader insert#wwe x reader#finn bálor imagine#finn bálor oneshot#finn bálor one shot#finn bálor fanfiction#finn bálor fanfic#finn bálor fic#finn bálor x reader
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Christmas Angels - Chapter 3
December 20
I was unprepared for this madness. The mall, five days before Christmas, is a nut house, crawling with wild-eyed shoppers determined to spend every cent in their pockets. Gigantic Christmas balls dangle from the ceiling between long garlands of flocked greenery. From my perch on a high stool in the food court, I spot Santa on his throne offering half-hearted ho-ho-hos to a squalling child while an unfortunate woman in an elf costume tries to take their picture. Honey, you can shake your stupid monkey at that baby all you want. He isn’t going to smile.
To top it all off, Burl Ives is wishing everyone a Holly, Jolly Christmas. I’m pretty sure that’s impossible in this little slice of suburban hell.
Justin Bieber starts singing in my pocket. I’m still not sure what I was thinking when I assigned that particular ringtone to Peeta, but it doesn’t really matter anyway because I never let it play very long. I unlock my phone and open the message.
You’re prettier when you smile.
My head whips around, eyes scanning the crowd, looking for his familiar mop of hair. Finally, I spot him, leaning against a nearby pillar while sporting a lazy grin, a baseball cap perched on his head. He waggles his fingers at me as I move toward him.
He looks so different in something other than his bakery uniform. His biceps practically burst from the sleeves of the t-shirt he’s wearing. The pinky-orange fabric clings to his pecs too. I think the colour is called coral or something, but I’ve never seen it on a man before. Whatever. It looks hella good on him. The jeans are perfect for him too. They’re clearly soft and well worn; neither too baggy nor too tight.
A fantasy flies unbidden into my mind of me stepping casually into his arms like I belong there, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing a kiss to his lips. I command my imagination to heel. I barely know this man.
“Hi,” I force out, but it sounds breathy and girly and nothing like me.
“Hi,” he says with a bright smile and pushes off the post, his winter jacket clutched in his fist. “Did you want to get some dinner?”
I do, but not at the food court, so I just shrug. “Maybe after? Let’s get the shopping done first.”
Before long, we’re walking in circles around the scraggly artificial tree still dripping in paper angels. Rue, a teenaged volunteer from the food bank, is manning the table. Her chocolate eyes are dancing when we approach. She’s Chaff and Seeder’s daughter and I’ve watched her grow up, helping her parents on Saturday afternoons. But, it seems that she knows Peeta too.
“Katniss! Peeta! I didn’t know you knew each other. What are you doing here?”
“Just finishing my Christmas shopping,” Peeta says easily as he peruses the angels on the tree, plucking the odd one off it’s branches.
Rue leans over the table to whisper conspiratorially. “Are you guys dating?”
I shake my head vehemently and then feel guilty for it. “We’re just friends.”
“He’s kinda cute, Katniss. Do you want to be his girlfriend?”
I must turn three shades of red because Rue giggles. “We just met Saturday,” I hiss, which only makes it worse. Honestly, she’s as boy crazy as Prim was at her age. I’m still shaking my head at her when Peeta returns to the table so Rue can jot down the requests he’s promising to fulfill.
“All set?” she asks.
He nods. “I think so.”
While Rue and Peeta finish their business, I start checking out the other wishes on the tree, finding dreams of dolls and video games, Lego and science kits, Nerf guns and teddy bears. Then I spot it - an angel hung so that the wish on it is hidden from view. I turn it so I can read it better, the card stock seraphim stiff between my fingers. An eight-year-old girl wants a pair of winter boots. Size 13. My heart pounds in my ears and I have to remind myself to take my next breath. And the next one. When I step away from the tree, I can’t let it go. Instead, I march over to Rue and slap it down on the table.
“This one,” I tell her and she looks up at me, startled. “I’ll take this one.”
As soon as she’s finished with Peeta’s angels, Rue picks up mine and gets ready to assign it to me in her book.
“I can get that one, Katniss,” Peeta offers. “Let me put one of these back and-”
“No.”
Rue hands the angel back to me and I stomp towards the nearest shoe store. There’s a storm raging inside me and I won’t be able to think clearly until I’ve got the boots in my hands.
“Katniss!” Peeta calls out, scurrying to keep up with me. There’s a hitch in his step. His injury must be bothering him again. “Wait up a minute.” I sigh and roll my eyes skyward. His face is twisted in concern when he finally catches up. “Why are you so upset? I thought we were having fun and then you just took off. Did I do something?”
“No.” I try to brush past him and continue my mission to Payless Shoes, but he catches me by my sleeve.
“Katniss? What’s wrong?”
“Boots, Peeta! Boots!” He stares at me blankly, so I shake the little paper angel in his face. “This little girl – this eight-year-old girl – gets one Christmas wish, Peeta. ONE! And she’s so desperate for warm winter boots, that’s what she asked Santa for. Not a doll. Not jewellery. Not even a teddy bear. Boots!” I’m shaking with rage. “Well, I’ll make damn sure she gets her boots.”
By the time I’ve finished my rant, Peeta has grabbed me by the shoulders. I wait for him to walk away. He should walk away. I’m a crazy woman who just lost her mind over a pair of boots. But he doesn’t. Instead, he pulls me into his arms and lets me bury my face in his shoulder. My lips are a hair’s breadth from his neck and I inhale the warm, yeasty scent of his bakery. Against my cheek, his shirt is as soft as I thought it would be when I saw him standing by the pillar only minutes ago.
I don’t know what possessed him to hug me, but somehow it was exactly what I needed and I know I will not be the first to let go.
“Okay, Katniss,” he whispers in my ear,` “Let’s go buy that kid some boots.” When I finally raise my head from his shoulder, Peeta threads his fingers through mine and leads me into the shoe store. He says nothing as I inspect the warmth of each pair of boots in the kids’ section before finally landing on a pair exactly like what I would have purchased for Prim when we were kids. They’re bright pink pull-ons, with a thick liner to keep the little girl’s feet warm and a chunky sole that’s perfect for the icy sidewalks in our town. The price point is perfect, so I pay for them and we head out of the store.
“I think…” says Peeta thoughtfully, swinging our still-joined hands between us, “that it’s time for hot chocolate.”
Calmer now with the bag for from the shoe store clutched in my fist, I ponder his suggestion. “It won’t be as good as yours.”
He chuckles. “Spoiled you for everyone else, have I?”
I can’t hold back the eyeroll. “Something like that.”
Before long we’re back in the food court, blowing the steam off a couple of grande hot chocolates from Starbucks. It doesn’t even come close to the goodness Peeta served me a few days ago. Nevertheless, it’s soothing.
Peeta shifts in his chair. The corner of his mouth ticks down and the cords in his throat tighten. When he speaks, his voice is full of concern. “Are you feeling better now?”
Good God. I’ve made him think I’m a mental case. Playing the scene again through his eyes, I can only imagine how crazy I seemed to him. We only met a few days ago. He knows nothing about me, really, and now he’s probably wondering how fast he can shake me. I should just thank him for the hot chocolate and go home; mark this down as the time I had a shot with a really amazing guy and blew it.
“Katniss?” The gentle prod brings me back to the conversation. “I said, are you feeling better now?”
I nod slowly, tracing the pattern in the Formica tabletop with my free hand. “Yeah, I am, thanks.”
“Do you want to tell me what that was about?” No, not really. I could go quite happily through the rest of my life and never mention what my mother put my sister and me through. “I mean, you don’t have to, but sometimes it helps to talk about things.”
“We had a hard time,” I blurt out, deciding it’s rude not to offer him at least some form of explanation. “After my dad died, I mean. My mom- We struggled, for awhile. And we had to use the food bank. A lot.”
Peeta chews his bottom lip. “So that’s why you volunteer.”
I grimace. “I have to pay Mags back. For what she did for us. I owe her my life, really.”
“I doubt she’d agree.” Peeta jerks his head to the left, toward the tree where Rue is still assigning angels. “Did you ever?”
I nod. “For my sister, Prim.” I wriggle in my chair and clutch my cup in both hands. “Anyway, the idea that a family is so hard up that little girl’s gift from Santa had to be winter boots, well-”
“It brought it all back.” Peeta gives my hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry about that. This was supposed to be fun,” he says, and he looks so crestfallen that I squeeze his hand back and then take a long slurp of my hot chocolate.
“I’m fine, really. It’s just… Everybody has their triggers, you know? Kids not having the necessities? That’s mine.”
Peeta watches me closely over the rim of his cup, his blue eyes searching my face for any further signs of distress. He must see whatever he’s looking for because he nods. “Okay, I’ve got $300 burning a hole in my pocket. Let’s get this done so I can get them wrapped tonight.” He gets up from his chair and offers me his arm. “Shall we?”
The gallant knight routine makes me laugh and I tuck my arm into his. “Lead the way.”
We spend the next two hours wandering through the toy store. Peeta mounds the cart with Baby Alive and Little People, a Spiderman mask and gloves with real, shooting web spinners, video games and gift cards. He holds up the cans of silly string required for Spiderman’s gloves and chortles, “these too.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I roll my eyes. Peeta takes that as a yes and tosses it into the cart.
Before long, we’re moving through the checkout and are waddling across the parking lot, weighed down by his purchases.
“I don’t care what you say, Peeta. Baby Alive is a creepy frigging doll!”
He snickers as he adjusts his packages to dig his keys from his pocket. “It’s just a doll, Katniss, not Chucky.”
“Could be. Any vacant-eyed creature that actually dirties a diaper has got to be possessed.”
The headlights on a black Jeep flash when Peeta presses the unlock button, so we move in that direction. “Okay, maybe Bride of Chucky.” We’re still laughing when he throws up the rear door of the Jeep and we load the parcels in. When the door slams down, we’re left shuffling our feet in the amber glow of the parking lot lights.
“So, um, I better take these home. Get them wrapped.” Like the gifted orator I am, I mutter ‘yeah’ or something equally eloquent. I kick at a rock in the hard-packed snow beneath our feet. I am not ready for this night to be over.
“Hey,” Peeta says suddenly. “I still owe you dinner. Would you like to come over and help me wrap and I’ll make us something to eat?”
It feels like someone has thrown me a life preserver, so I don’t argue. Instead I agree to meet him at his place and pick my way across the parking lot to my rusty red compact. When she was in high school, Prim dubbed it the POS. It was part of the vernacular at our house. Was there gas in the POS? Could she borrow the POS? And most recently, when was I going to replace my POS. I told her I couldn’t afford to get another car until she finished med school. She wasted no time reminding me that she was on a full scholarship and I should stop being so cheap. I almost laughed out loud when she said it. She has no idea how I’ve scrimped and scrounged for her. It’s just second nature to me now. Last fall, I filled the worst of the holes in the POS with Bond-o and painted it with a brush. Prim’s going to have a fit when she sees it. Whatever. I still don’t have a car payment and there’s nothing wrong with being frugal. Anyway, I’ve been assigned a truck by the state for work. The POS just needs to get me to the office and back. And around town, occasionally.
It shudders and shimmies when I turn the key, but it gets me to the bakery safely enough.
Peeta is already unloading his Jeep when I pull in. He offers me a wave and a bright smile. Before long, we’re in the apartment and he’s in his kitchen throwing together a pot of homemade soup.
I lean on the island of the open concept space as he makes an instant broth from some bouillon, and pulls pre-cooked chicken and fresh veggies from the fridge. Onion, celery and carrots soon form neat piles on his chopping block. My hand gets a swat when it sneaks in to steal his carrot coins. We’re both still laughing as he scrapes it all into the broth along with a handful or two of rice. A couple of sprigs of sage and savory are snipped from pots growing on the kitchen window sill and tossed on top.
To be honest, years of being poor taught me to make some pretty good soup from almost nothing, but this is a level of skill beyond even me. In less than 20 minutes, a delicious and hearty meal made from fresh ingredients is simmering on the stove, freeing us to wrap the gifts.
We settle on the rug in the living room surrounded by all of the evening’s purchases and everything we need to wrap them with enough panache to outdo Martha Stewart. It’s overwhelming.
Peeta offers me a bright smile. “So how are you at tying bows?”
My eyes are rolling again before I realize it. “I’m the girl who buys a bag of stick-on bows at the dollar store and then can’t be bothered to use them.”
Peeta’s face contorts in mock horror and then he hands me the scissors and tape with orders to wrap. “If you think you can manage it, Katniss.”
A huff of annoyance passes through my lips as I hack a piece of snowman paper off the roll closest to me. “I can handle it,” I grunt, and snatch up the box for the creepy doll. The sooner she’s gone the happier I’ll be. I start to surround it with snowman paper while Peeta carefully measures out a green ribbon that perfectly matches the scarf around Frosty’s neck. “Effie’s going to weep when you bring these in. I thought she was going to have an orgasm over your bows on Saturday.”
Peeta shudders. “Thanks for putting that in my head. Guess I’ll be having nightmares tonight.”
I pass the gift over and reach for the Little People fire truck. When I go for the snowman paper again, Peeta protests and forks over a roll covered in dancing Santa Clauses. “Each one should be slightly different,” he insists. That seems ridiculous since they’re all going to different homes, but whatever.
It takes him only a minute or two to tie the bow and so he struggles off the floor to check the soup while I get the last pieces of tape secured on the fire truck’s wrappings. His leg must have had enough for the day, which reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask.
“So how is it that you know Effie and Rue and her family, but not Haymitch,” I call out, putting the truck aside and reaching for the Xbox game. The paper I pick this time is dotted with reindeer.
Peeta puts his spoon down beside the pot. “Haymitch. That’s his name,” he groans. “ I don’t know. Maybe he’s like you and only comes in on Saturdays? Soup needs a little more time.” He settles back down beside me and goes back to choosing ribbon.
He surveils his purchases and smiles.. “These kids are going to be so happy, but there were still so many kids on that tree. I wish I could do more.”
Is he kidding me? “Honestly, Peeta. Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”
His grin fades a bit. “This is making my Christmas, Katniss.”
I know that, of course, and I feel badly for stealing his joy, but I press on. Surely he understands that this is extravagance beyond reason? “I know that, Peeta. You’re doing a beautiful thing. But you’d already spent thousands and today you spent even more. I’m sure the bakery is successful, but you’re a small business person and you give so much already. I just don’t want you to over-extend yourself.”
His face turns to stone. “It’s nothing, Katniss, really.”
“Peeta,” I say in a serious tone as I reach for something else to wrap. “What you’re doing is everything. But the expense! I know you did fundraising for the first gifts, but these-”
“Katniss,” he sighs. “This is no big deal.”
“It is,” I insist.
Peeta snips the ribbon a little harder than necessary. “We’re finished talking about this.”
“Peeta-”
“I mean it, Katniss.” His tone brokers no argument. “This is the only thing getting me through this Christmas. I thought you’d understand that, if anyone would. I won’t let you ruin it for me.”
My heart drops somewhere around my belly button and I lower my scissors to the floor. “I guess I’ve overstepped my bounds.” I know my lips form the words, but I’ve never sounded as much like an offended school marm as I do now. “I think I’ll just go home.” I lift myself up off the rug and dust off my legs. “See you around the food bank, Peeta.” I pick up my purse and coat from the couch where I left them.
“Katniss-” Peeta calls as I make my way to the door. He’s struggling to pull himself off the floor..
“Don’t get up, Peeta,” I reply. “It’s fine.”
The door closes behind me and I climb down the apartment steps to the POS. Once inside, I turn the key, crank up the heat and bang my head against the steering wheel. Me and my big mouth. I’ve ruined a chance with one of the good ones. The Biebs starts singing in my purse, but I ignore him.
With “let me love you” ringing in my ears, I pull out of the bakery parking lot and point the POS towards my empty house. My stomach growls and I’m reminded that I didn’t get any supper. No soup for me.
Which makes me the both Grinch and the Soup Nazi.
Merry fucking Christmas.
~~~
Thank you @burkygirl!!!
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30 Questions tag~
Thank you for tagging me, @pocky-ono ^o^
1. How tall are you? A: 167 cm
2. What color and style is your hair? A: It’s copper brown like, short pixie.
3. What color are your eyes? A: My eyes are like grey,blue,green,little bit brown. SO much different colors :)
4. Do you wear classes? A: I should wear them when i’m looking far, but in school mostly.
5. Do you wear braces? A: No and I haven’t. Ever.
6. What is your clothing style? A: Loose fitting and mostly carefree clothing that are comfortable. Mostly T-shirts/ Hoodie and pants ofc :D
7. Any freckles/mole/beauty marks? A: I got moles all over, freckles if i’m outside at summer and I have a “beauty mark” between lips and nose.
8. Where were you born? A: in Finland
9. Where do you live? A: in Finland
10. Do you have any siblings? A: I have one older sister.
11. Do you go to school? A: Yes. Every weekday bur not weekends
12. What kind of student are you? A: Very lazy one, but I always try my best.
13. What are you favorite TV shows? A: Mostly cartoons, the old ones… and some shows like Sherlock Holmes.
14. Favorite pass time? A: Watching anime, reading manga or listening to music or laying in the bed.
15. What is your dream job? A: Animator or media graphic designer… something like that.
16. Would you like to get married one day? A: Idk.
17. Would you want to have kids one day? A: I can always adopt.
18. Girly girl or tomboy? A: Closer to the tomboy absolutely.
19. Do you like shopping? A: Shopping something linked with anime, hell yeah, otherwise no.
20. What countries have you visited? A: Sweden and Greece.
21. What is the scariest dream you ever had? A: Losing my family.. that went to a dark place.
22. Do you have enemies? A: I do, they just don’t know.. >:D
23. Do you have a significant other? A: No, I don’t think so.
24. If not you you want one? A: Whu? maybe.
25. Are you open about your feelings? A: Not so often so if I have told you them you are special ^o^
26. What’s your family like? A: Very funny and really really nice:
27. Would you date someone your parents didn’t approve of? A: Depends..
28. Favorite color? A: RED. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I also like black and white…
29. Any pet peeves? A: Many but i won’t say them.
30. Do you believe in astrology? A: Maybe in some parts and some not.
This was fun! Thanks yet another time pocky-ono!!
I tag: @undertaleotaku @miltzuka @kimmysfandomblog @shawn-and-aiden-frost-9 @kouta282 @pupzyy @betweenthepage-s @penguinsandsoccer @kiarikakawaiii @iulliiana @tatsuya-kiyama and @maple12345
If you guys have already done this I’m sorry, but if you have not.. here you go!!
Everyone else, feel free to do this :)
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About Me Tag
Fuck, this was a long time ago. Sorry! Tagged by the effervescent @the-bookdevourer <3
1. How tall are you? 5′9 3/4″
2. What style and color is your hair? Blonde. naturally wavy and falls to just past my shoulders.
3. What color are your eyes? Blue.
4. Do you wear glasses? Sometimes. I normally just prefer contacts.
5. Do you have braces? Invisalign :) though I’m really bad at wearing them as often as I should be.
6. What is your fashion style? Hipster. I ain’t gonna lie. It’s a weird mix of hipster, with a little bit of laziness and preppy in there.
7. Any beauty marks/freckles/moles on you? I have darker skin patches al over my body, plus some freckles on my arms and stretch marks on my belly and upper thighs.
8. When were you born? July 17 1998 in the Bay Area of California.
9. How old are you? 18.
10. Where do you live? Dorm is in San Francisco. Home is in the Bay Area.
11. Do you have any siblings? Only Child.
12. Do you go to school? yep- College. University of San Francisco. The Spring Semester starts in a little less than 3 weeks.
13. What kind of student are you? Prone to procrastination, but somehow able to pull it through in the end. Overachiever who simultaneously does the bare minimum. I’m a conundrum.
14. Favorite shows? Futurama. Portlandia. American Horror Story. Better Off Ted. And i’m sure a dozen others.
15. Favorite pastime(s)? Listening to music. Making up a movie in my head. Reading.
16. What is your dream job? Singer, if I didn’t have social anxiety. Director/cinematographer because I do.
17. Would you like to get married and where? Yes, please. And I don’t really have a place preference.
18. Would you like to have kids one day? Ehh. Not really my kind of thing. Maybe adoption?
19. Girly girl or tomboy? Currently girly, though I’d probably say more like a mix of both.
20. Do you like shopping? When I’m in the mood for it.
21. What countries have you visited? America (duh). Mexico. England.
22. What is the scariest nightmare you’ve had? Donald Trump becoming president.
23. Do you have enemies? Maybe some high school grievances? Nothing sincere though.
24. Do you have an S/O? Nope.
25. If not, do you want one? Yep.
26. Are you open about your feelings? I try to be, but it doesn’t always work out that way.
27. What’s your family like? Nice, a little distant. Mom’s overbearing, Dad’s underbearing.
28. Would you date someone your family didn’t approve of? I honestly can’t see my family being disapproving of anyone. My dad’s too oblivious to realize I’d be seeing anyone until probably the wedding, and my mom has such a horrible dating record that she can’t really be one to judge.
29. Any pet peeves? So many. People interrupting me. Mansplaining. Students talking over the teacher. People complaining about situations they put themselves in (ex. literally never going to class and then being angry when their teacher fails them). Global warming. So many.
30. Do you believe in astrology? I want to. I read it for kicks, but I couldn’t say I frame my life around it. I enjoy it.
Tagging everyone who follows me, because I want to know more about you! <3
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My light in the dark
PART 2 - Mommy’s poison (warning for emotional manipulation and misgendering)
The rain was falling on the window in big drops and the melody it was making was keeping the young boy company.
Sitting at his desk, Adrian was “studying” for an upcoming chemistry exam, books and copybooks opened in front of him and his Star-Lord mug as well as a box of cookies laid further on the desk, near the wall. Studying was a big word. Adrian actually didn’t need to spend hours and hours reading his lessons and making countless exercises. Moreover, the test wasn’t going to be on something difficult and he knew his lessons by heart, but since his parents were so demanding concerning his marks, Adrian had to fake it in case they would come in.
Biting in his fourth cookie, Adrian threw the manga he was reading on his bed behind him and cursed when he heard it fall on the floor in a thud. He was too lazy to get up and pick it from the floor anyway. Instead, he slumped on his desk sighing deeply making a page tremble and let his gaze watch the rain fall.
Adrian found it funny – even though he had no will to laugh, quite the opposite – how well the weather was matching his mood. When was the last time he had seen a sunny sky? When was the last time he had had a genuine smile on his lips? He was so tired of telling everyone he was fine, just tired. Tired because of high school. Tired because of the weather. Tired of everything his parents – especially his mother – were putting him through. Tired of having to hide who he truly was. He couldn’t tell them, couldn’t tell what was hurting him. They wouldn’t accept him how he was. We are an open-minded family, but I would better like to not have someone like that in mine. How many times had he had to hear them say something so disgusting and not even feel angry? Now when they were saying this among other nice words, Adrian would feel hurt and sad.
A little more than a year had passed since the day he had been able to put a name on his “problem”. Who would have thought he would one day become one of these deranged people? An abjection, that’s what he was. No matter how hard he was trying, Adrian still had huge troubles to accept himself. He couldn’t stop worrying about the day he would come out, about their reactions and what could happen to him. Unfortunately, he had no one to talk to, no one to ask for advices, no one who would tell him what to do. For now, the internet had been his only solution and where to find answers. Right or wrong.
Three light knocks on the door made him quickly sit back correctly on his chair.
“Cassie, can I come in?”
“Sure,” He answered to his mother and took a pencil between his fingers, ready to fake studying again at the same time his mother opened the door.
Adrian’s mother was a tall and lean woman with wavy long brown hair and blue eyes. She had a bright smile, but that smile was hiding how strict and mean she could be. She appeared as a responsible and loving mother always dressed neatly, but deep down Adrian knew how much it only was a mask. His mother was far from being the nice woman the neighbours and friends of the family knew.
“You are still studying?” She asked him, sitting on the ledge of the window.
“I’m almost over, just a few more exercises.”
“Take a break Cassie. You have been in your room for hours.”
“I have to finish this first.”
“No,” She said, closing the chemistry book. “We have to talk honey.”
“About?”
“Is something wrong?”
“Everything’s fine mom, why are you asking?”
“We have noticed, your father and I, that you are spending less time with us. You are always locked in your room, you look stressed and even depressed.”
“I’m fine mom. It’s just that test. It’s a really important one and I don’t want to fail it.”
“You won’t fail Cassie. You are working hard and have the best marks. Our family doesn’t know what failure is, it won’t start with you,” She said, caressing his curly blond hair. “Now go put other clothes, I will be waiting downstairs. You have twenty minutes.”
“For?” Adrian asked, already not liking where this would end.
“Shopping! Going outside won’t hurt you and I am fed up of seeing you in your oversized t-shirts and jeans. Get ready now sweetie.”
There was a reason why Adrian was wearing oversized clothes, a reason he couldn’t tell his mother and father. Not yet. He couldn’t risk being thrown out onto the streets when he had nowhere else to go, nowhere else safe. It wasn’t healthy, but for the moment Adrian had no other choice than stay with them and keep on pretending he was their perfect daughter. Even though it was slowly killing him.
* * *
In the car, Adrian was barely listening to what his mother was saying, looking instead through the window at the rain still falling. He had no will at all to spend time with her especially if they were going to do some window-shopping. Who knows how many hours he would have to hear her disapprove his choices in clothes? How many times would he have to hear her complain about his wardrobe lacking colours like pink or even pastel yellow? Adrian didn’t like these kind of colours and he was happy enough with red, black, purple and silver. Pink was a girly colour anyway. Or so he thought.
“What do you want to look for first? Shoes? Or dresses?” She asked as she was parking in the mall’s parking lot.
“I don’t care mom. What do you want?”
“Seriously Cassandra,” She sighed, trying to not let her anger overwhelm her. “You could make an effort.”
“I am!”
“No. You have been sulking since the moment you went in that car.” She sighed again, a hand on her forehead trying to keep calm. “I thought I was doing something good. I thought it would change your mind to spend time outside with me. I thought a mother-daughter afternoon would make us closer, but it seems everything I do for you is pissing you off!”
“Oh mom please. Stop.”
“What have I done to you? You know you can tell me everything honey.”
“Mom, I’m sorry if I hurt you in some way. I’m just stressed and tired because of school. I’m really sorry if you thought you did something wrong.” Was he really sorry? No, but he knew it was what his mother wanted to hear. “Can we go now?”
“Sure!” Her face was beaming again, she got what she wanted.
The first hour and a half went pretty well for Adrian as they had only been looking for clothes for his mother. She had ended up buying two straight skirts, one dark blue and the other white, a white shirt with fine black vertical lines, a pair of tights as well as a new handbag and a beige hat for this summer. In the last shop for herself, his mother had had her eyes on a splendid ruby dress split on its right side, but had declared she would buy it another day because now it was time for Adrian to refresh his wardrobe.
“What about this one?” She asked him, showing a long pleated chiffon skirt which colour – salmon pink – was burning Adrian’s eyes.
“It’s ugly mom.”
“You think so? I like it, too bad they don’t have my size anymore… And in another colour?”
“No.”
“Cassandra,” She started, taking another skirt in her hands, shorter this time. “It has been half an hour and you still haven’t chosen something.”
“Is it my fault now if I find everything ugly?” He asked, crossing his arms on his chest, barely looking at his mother.
“Oh please Cassandra make an effort! There are cute clothes in there, pick a few and go try them.”
“But–”
“All I wanted was to spend an afternoon with my daughter and share things like every mothers and daughters do,” She said, her voice low so that none of the customers around them would hear her. “But you’re once again making things complicated. Now dear, pick an outfit.”
Adrian was about to tell her how she was exaggerating things again, but decided to shut up when he saw her icy blue eyes shooting angry looks. It was no use to try to defend himself, she would always have the last word. How could he explain her the reason why he had no will to try dresses or skirts or just girly clothes without making a scene in the middle of the shop? He couldn’t tell her, not now. Not with so many witnesses.
Adrian was resigned to accept the outfit his mother had picked for him since he wasn’t decided to move, and walked to the fitting rooms, his mother following close. There, he slowly took his clothes off doing everything he could to not look at his reflection, and after a long while during which he had looked at the outfit with a sad and pained expression, dressed himself.
It was a simple outfit for his mother. For Adrian it was a real torture.
“It suits you so well darling,” His mother’s voice made him look in front of him as she pulled the curtain aside. “You’re beautiful, look at yourself!”
Adrian had wished to say something back, but he couldn’t. He had hoped he wouldn’t let her hands made him turn around, but he couldn’t. He wanted to avoid looking at his own reflection. He couldn’t. He was feeling nauseous. Just looking at the girl in front of him was making him sick. He could see everything. He could see how wide his hips were. He could see how big his thighs uncovered by the shorts were. He could see his waist and the curves of his breast under that tank top which was revealing his bra on the sides. He could clearly see the tears in his eyes and was wondering how his mother was doing to not notice them. Adrian wasn’t feeling well. This reflection wasn’t his. This girl looking at him with the same brown eyes wasn’t him.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t feel comfortable wearing that mom,” Adrian said, wrapping his arms around himself.
“And what do you want to wear then? Your baggy pants and oversized t-shirts? Look at yourself Cassandra,” She made him raise his head and forced him to look at his own reflection. “You have never been that beautiful before. I can finally recognize my daughter.”
“Can I pick something else?” His voice was trembling.
“No. It’s this one and nothing else.”
“Mom...”
“You will get use to wearing them. Hopefully you will find a boyfriend now.” She looked at him through the mirror. Her eyes were full of reproach. “Soon eighteen and you have never brought a boy at home. Change now, I'll be waiting for you at the checkout.”
When he was sure she wasn’t behind the curtain anymore, Adrian slid to the floor and let his tears fall silently on his cheeks. His mother knew which words to use to hurt him. She was doing this a lot lately and Adrian didn’t know how long he would be able to bear it.
He had thought trying an outfit she’d picked for him would be the only thing he would have to do for her. Adrian had never thought she would hand him a red and black bra and panties set.
His teeth on his wrist, Adrian did everything possible to keep his screams in his throat.
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