okay !

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)

reminiscing on dan and phil's life story together always makes me feel insane because it sounds like the plot of a fanfic: two freakishly tall awkward british gays with matching emo haircuts. dan starts out as a fan of phil, phil encourages him to make his own videos after they start talking online. dan only started trying to get phil's attention online on his 18th birthday and within months they meet up irl, and the Q&A video they make together the first time they meet blows up. within a little over a year they are practically living together, then they are accidentally outed because of a freak YouTube glitch as well as fans discovering old posts. nevertheless they become pioneers in what YouTubers can do outside the platform itself - Radio Hosts/Celebrity Interviews/Touring Stage Shows/Books/Party Games/Disney Cameos. they eventually come out via a dan video essay with 12 million views. later they move in to their third place together, a luxury home they bought and designed with all the money they made over the years. then when Dan goes on a solo tour in 2022 they reveal they that they had never spent more than two weeks apart since 2009. And don't even get me started on the joint gaming channel or the cat whiskers...

BUT the wildest part, that knocks me out every time I remember, is how phil, who allegedly has psychic abilities passed on from his grandmother, used tarot cards in a video to predict that he would meet someone with personality traits that exactly match dan's, about three months before they ever began talking online. like. how is that a real sentence I just typed. do we live in a simulation.

smack

(not so) very serious 2024 predictions:

they drop an album of their most iconic little songs. they change nothing about the original sounds except that they have dan dramatically playing the piano after every track to hit those 30 seconds.

the phouse address is leaked and it turns out to be a filming set. both they and us do not acknowledge this fact ever again.

phil announces a book. it's about keeping houseplants alive but is very clearly just a thinly veiled metaphor for something else. nobody can quite agree on what that something else is and fights ensue. (when it's released in 2025 it turns out to be a book about houseplants. nothing more.)

dan and phil are guests on some british cooking show. they are incredibly domestic but more shockingly, actually capable of making edible food. at some point dan very briefly catches fire.

they start a podcast where they interview people but it's painfully obvious that the person being interviewed is just one of them doing a weird voice.

dan starts being very active on tumblr. he doesn't interact with anything even remotely connected to him or the phandom and instead posts exclusively black and white aesthetics. nobody thinks too much about it until one day it turns out it was all an elaborate scheme to announce a tour.

grabs you hits you eats you bites you grabs you grabs you grabs you

phil looking at dan off-camera

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Dan and Phil // of queer friendships

how the turn tables (2009 -> 2024)

wilbur's onto something this season

there is absolutely no way

incoherent pt2

with the knowledge of the green dye bonanza phil went on, i think we have to acknowledge the Truth:

phil told himself "don't cry, craft"

just something that was on my mind

Phil: I can fetch you cheese, hold on, lemme just say this before I go– and it definitely will not annoy you at all– what if you guys went on a date together flying through the sky?

Pac: Wow, that would be magical! Do you think I can manage to do something to make Fit fly as well?

Tubbo: Every second I lose the will to live a little bit more.

[Phil and Pac laugh]

Tubbo: I wish Sunny never brought me back into this world. Hell was better than this.

Pac: [Ignoring Tubbo] Me… Fit… the clouds… the stars…

you know what fuck it. phil collins album cover redraw