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wordsafterhours · 2 years

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Songs About You - Chapter 8

AN:

Hello!!!!! I'm really behind with updates, but I blame summertime depression and the hot weather of PHX. I swear hot weather and sun sucks out my will to live. Also, I've been low key obsessed with House of the Dragon and reading AO3 stories to my heart's content.

Anyways, here's the new chapter. It's more filler than anything. Next chapter, will bring some honest bonding with A&R. I'm hoping to start moving the story along by shedding light on what happened to her parents, why, and who was responsible. It won't be next chapter but soon.

Like any writer, I love feedback, commentary, and reactions. Readers really do give us life and a big thank you to all those who read my subpar writing :)

Word Count: 4.2k (woohoo!)

Masterlist

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It was an extremely indecent hour when Aelin’s golden head finally hit her pillow and she knew tomorrow would be a long day. Fenrys, being a gracious friend, had taken her back into the city to retrieve her SUV from outside Lys’ apartment despite it being out of his way home. She’d tried to refuse him, but he would hear nothing of it, demanding again for an address to be placed into the GPS. The two were becoming fast friends and she was glad for it because his radiant personality was pushing out a little of the darkness.

He was also a welcome distraction from the text Aelin had received from Rowan but on the silent drive home and now in the silence of her bedroom, there was nothing preventing her brain from mulling over what he had said. His hot and cold attitude was grating on her last nerve, yet something was pushing her to show up to his house.

To demand answers about why he was drawing hot paths into her skin and then acting like he didn’t know her the next. Why he was with Lyria, were they dating, sleeping together…. was that who Lyria was learning Doranelle recipes for? It shouldn’t matter, any of it, because she was in a serious relationship with someone who had seen her through the worst times of her life, someone who loved her, wanted to marry her. Chaol should be the subject of her thoughts, fight, or no fight.

Shame burned down into the pit of her stomach as she glanced over to her bedside table, meeting the happy stares of her and her boyfriend smiling at the camera a during their last vacation to the coast. It was too early to call him, but sunrise was only a handful of hours away and Aelin couldn’t wait to apologize—to smooth things over like peanut butter on warm toast. Perhaps then, the nagging nauseous feeling that was hanging out in the background more often than not, would finally leave her in peace. She never faired anxiety well and it would only get worse.

Loosing a frustrated sigh, she turned on her side, pulling Fleetfoot into her chest, snuggling down into the golden fur. All her problems could wait until after the sun came up because sleep was calling her name and adult responsibilities didn’t disappear when life became hard.

——————————————————————-

Sandpaper.

Sandpaper was the most accurate description her sleep-addled brain could muster for how dry her turquoise orbs felt upon waking. Her ability to stay up late and wake up early was clearly diminishing with every new birthday. Four hours of sleep felt much different at 28 than it did at 23. Her body felt like it had been mowed over by a herd of stags, as did her head, pounding in tandem with each heartbeat.

Her hand dug through the covers, looking for her phone to check the time, and call Chaol. No new texts or notifications marred her home screen which was equal parts nice and depressing. She wasn’t sure what or who she wanted to hear from, but good morning messages were always appreciated. Scrolling through her contacts, she clicked her boyfriend’s name, placing the phone to her ear. It rang and rang which was unusual because he was the type of person who answered on the first or second ring, at least for her anyways. His voicemail picked up, parroting a generic message into her ear, but she hung up before the beep refusing to leave a message. Aelin was not the type to leave a message. If someone wanted to call her back, they would, message or not.

He was likely ignoring her due to their fight and not ready to talk, but she at least wanted to know he had made it to his job site and was alive. She hit his name again, hoping a second call would convey she was serious about talking to him while also making it clear he could not ignore her. The second call, unanswered. Third, the same.

Undoubtedly, he had to be ignoring her. Three unanswered calls, busy or not, should mean something to someone. What if she had been in a car accident or one of their friends were sick, or Fleetfoot had to go to the emergency vet? Three calls in today’s society signaled something. Frustration at Chaol’s lack of response and pity towards herself for calling three times was picking away at her. It was too early in the day to start off on the wrong foot.

Sitting up, she dialed Chaol’s number one more time, determined to leave a strongly worded voicemail when he didn’t answer for the fourth time. But instead, she found herself surprised, fumbling for words when the line went through.

He was laughing and not alone, as a feminine laugh accompanied his. “Are you okay?” he finally asked when the laughter died down.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Aelin, you’ve called four times. It’s not even 9 am there,” he replied, his tone flat and serious.

“I wanted to talk to you and apologize for the fight yesterday. You didn’t even let me know you’d made it to the job site. Fight or no fight, you always let me know you’re safe.”

“Well, obviously I’m okay,” Chaol deadpanned, electing not to acknowledge any of the other things she’d mentioned.

“How was I supposed to know that? You’re too busy to answer my calls or text me, but not too busy to be having a good time.” She tried not to sound bitter but by the sharp intake of breath on the other side of the call let her know she’d failed.

“Am I not allowed to laugh with coworkers, Aelin? Not allowed to have a good time with my friends? Do you need a report of everything I do all day so you can approve what I can and cannot do?”

Evidently, his feelings from yesterday’s fight had not diminished and consequently were spilling over into this. So much for not starting off on the wrong foot today.

“Chaol, that’s not what I’m saying. Of course, you’re allowed to have a good time with your friends and coworkers. I’m just letting you know how I felt. I was worried because you always answer. And I know I owe you an apology for yesterday. I’m not asking to talk about it right now,” she whispered between them, trying her best not to sound angry or accusatory.

“Yeah, you do. I don’t really have time for this right now and if I’m being honest Aelin, I absolutely don’t have anything else to say to you. I didn’t answer your first three calls for a reason. I know I sound like a dick right now, but I’m still pissed, and I need to get back to work. We can talk when I get back in a couple weeks, I’m not sure I’ll be ready to talk before then,” Chaol revealed coldly.

Aelin could picture his stiff shoulders and straight face on the other end of the phone. She’d seen what he looked like when he talked like this to others, but it had never been directed at her before. It made her feel small. Hurt. Tears lined her eyes, one more lip quiver from falling down her face.

His harsh voice saying her name reminded her she hadn’t said anything back. She made a noncommittal noise letting him know she was still there.

“Well, I guess you don’t have anything else to say. And like I said, I’m working. We’ll talk later.”

Goodbye was on the tip of her tongue when a muffled feminine voice asked Chaol a question and Aelin decided it was better she said nothing. She hung up and leaned back against the headboard, internally lecturing herself into not crying. Their conversation wasn’t important enough to be private and whoever he had been around, now had a front row seat to their problems.

Aelin wasn’t sure what bothered her more, the fact Chaol was with a woman or that he was comfortable enough to talk openly in front her.

But she couldn’t throw rocks in a glass house. Hadn’t she herself been comfortable enough with Rowan to allow him to touch her? To get beneath her skin enough that others could see how affected she was, even when she denied the truth again and again? The continual nausea and acidic feeling in her belly were evidence enough of the answer.

With a drawn-out sigh, she slumped over sideways into messy covers, almost pancaking her dog in the process. “Sorry girl,” she apologized into the Fleetfoot’s soft fur, offering a few reassuring pats to her head. There was still time to get ready and head into town to open the store if she wished but having to cater to people all day sounded exhausting. Sleeping her feelings into oblivion sounded better.

But there was a third option: Rowan’s.

Aelin knew she shouldn’t even be mulling it over. He was already responsible for an increase in strain in her life and relationship. His hot and cold demeanor sent her for a loop with each interaction. She wasn’t sure if he would be Jekyll or Hyde until well into their exchanges and last night—well that was something else in its entirety. Had Lyria not rounded the corner, a more serious line likely would have been crossed.

By whom, Aelin couldn’t say. And yet, curiosity was nagging her to show up to the address in the text, throwing all caution to the wind. She had already declared adult responsibilities null for the day and depression was strongly ruling her life as of late, so giving it another inch seemed terrible, too.

Fleetfoot would certainly be glad for a new environment and Elliot would keep her entertained if Rowan brought him. She would show up for her dog. Searching through the mess of covers, her hand finally found her phone and she opened Rowan’s message, copying the address, and pasting it into her maps. It was back towards Moonie’s but further east, just barely outside what she considered city limits.

Feeling slightly petty, Aelin decided Rowan did not warrant a heads up that she had decided to come. Let him wonder if she would show. Someone else should share the stress in their friendship acquaintanceship.

Hurriedly, she rolled out of bed, ran downstairs, and opened the back door, encouraging Fleetfoot to go outside. Food was poured into the dog bowl as coffee brewed, and Aelin shoved down two pieces of toast covered with hazelnut spread. She was a terrible person with no coffee and food on board.

Back upstairs, she dug through the depths of her closet, searching for her hiking boots, which hadn’t been used in years. Perhaps, since she was in college, or maybe even before then. She was about to give up, when she spied the worn sole of a boot peeking out beneath the hem of a long dress. Shoving it back, both were lying there, dried mud still smeared along the sides.

Grabbing leggings and a pine green cropped, workout tank, she walked to the bathroom and started getting ready. Normally, she would shower but considering she would likely be outside and had spent too much time looking for her boots, time was of the essence. Her hair looked like a possum’s nest, gold locks haphazardly sticking up and the cowlick on one side of her head reminding her of its frustrating existence.

She slipped into her chosen attire and started braiding her hair into to Dutch braids, taming the wildness as best she could. Last night’s make up was smeared about and regret flashed briefly through her as she started wiping it off. She really must not have cared about anything this morning when she got in, seeing as how she always took her make-up off before sleeping.

Fresh faced with only SPF moisturizer on, Aelin looked one last time in the mirror, decidedly ready to conquer today no matter what it entailed.

The road to the address Rowan had imparted to her needed serious work. Aelin was thankful for her SUV’s higher ground clearance and ability to conquer subpar dirt roads as she hit an umpteenth pothole making both her and Fleetfoot groan in unison. The automated voice of her GPS voiced the destination was soon coming up, one turn and some change to go.

Towering pines sprinkled with oaks and other various forest plants lined the road, concealing anything but the immediate view. Perhaps she should have told one of her friends where she was going because this could very easily make for a good murder scene. Her location was being actively shared with them, so if she didn’t answer, sooner or later someone would check—but if Rowan was manufacturing her demise currently, later wouldn’t do her any favors.

Letting out a nervous chuckle and shaking off the idea that Rowan Whitethorn was going to murder her out her, she guided the SUV left and searched for her destination. Not too removed from the small road, she noted an A-Frame wood cabin tucked into the pines.

“A house,” she stuttered aloud in stunned conclusion. He had invited her to his house? Of all the possibilities that had run through her head regarding the address, it being his address had not been one of them. For godssakes, she had just been toying with the idea of dying via homicide.

Pulling into the drive, she turned the vehicle off and surveyed the scene before her. As domineering as Rowan was, somehow the notion that he lived in this cabin was fitting. Halfway of up the face, was a balcony hugged by rustic railing. Cut firewood lined the bottom section of the porch on either side of a rust-colored front door. The morning was overcast, and Aelin could see the soft glow of forgotten porch lines running the length porch.

The two-front ground-level windows didn’t allow her to see much inside but there didn’t appear to be any lights on. Besides her and her dog, there didn’t seem to be anyone else around. Rowan’s truck was nowhere to be seen and neither was Elliot. The time on the dash read just before eleven, so he should here.

Aelin grabbed her bag from the passenger seat and slid out with Fleetfoot on her heels. There was a visible back porch or addition to the right of the house and a worn foot path carved out in the dead pine needles and dirt. If he wasn’t going to be around to greet her, there was nothing to stop her from being nosey and snooping about.

Her booted footfalls were muffled by the leaf litter, and she rounded house quietly in anticipation of whatever adventure awaited her. A feral grin splitting her face as the certainty of catching Rowan unaware was likely going to come to fruition. The silver-haired man was currently winning in their cat and mouse game, especially after the incident at Moonie’s last night. It could not continue, as she was a very sore loser and not often accustomed to it.

Now at the back of the house, having followed the addition and wrap around porch, Aelin was at a loss for where her host was. Worrying her lip, she made her way up to a large back window and peered inside—nothing. Rowan would be getting an earful if he had invited her over and wasn’t home, even if she hadn’t answered his text.

He was just supposed to know.

Aelin plopped down on the porch and ran a hand through Fleetfoot’s fur. At least she had a beautiful view and her best girl to keep her company. The wind whistled through the pine tops and softly caressed her cheeks, bringing about a soft smile to her pink lips. There was a name for the sound that wind made in trees, but for all the schooling she had done and all the books she had read, her mind could not conjure it.

In the moment it seemed fitting though, that a lovely sound and the subsequent reaction it brought about in her, not have a name. She relaxed more, placing her palms behind her, and leaning back, tipping her head, the end of her braids touching the wooden porch. Minutes ticked by and Aelin only sat forward when her arms and shoulders were crying out in protest from holding her in one position for an extended time.

The same forest that surrounded Rowan’s, surrounded her house, yet she felt more at ease here in a short time than she did in all the hours she spent on her own back porch. Life was funny that way Aelin supposed, only she would find a prickly buzzard’s house more appealing than her own. Although, it could have everything to do with the fact that he wasn’t here to ruin it.

Aelin, catching Fleetfoot’s abrupt position change in her periphery, scanned the area looking for what had elicited the response. Her turquoise eyes saw nothing and other than the wind stirring tree branches, she heard nothing. The dog did though, intermittently cocking her head searching for the origin of sound.

“Do you want to go see?” she asked enthusiastically which had Fleetfoot rearing up and down, tail wagging, letting out small, excited barks. At least one of them was excited to investigate; Aelin hadn’t completely tabled idea of being murdered just yet, irrational as it might be. She stood, dusting off her leggings and grabbing her phone, hoping if she needed to call someone that somehow the spotty service would let her.

Aelin pointed, indicating it was okay for Fleetfoot to go ahead. She followed her, constantly scanning their surroundings for any sign of danger. Slowly, they started to descend a gradual slope, the cabin disappearing from view. From the back porch, she had missed the change in landscape altogether, which slightly alarmed her because anyone or anything could have been watching her unnoticed.

The slope gave way into flatter terrain with a large creek cutting through it. The clear water washing over the worn rocks had a beautiful trickling melody that resulted in a small smile turning up on her face. Rowan’s “backyard” was incredible and a wave on envy washed over. Her house and land were stunning, but she wasn’t lucky enough to have a snow-melt creek running through it. Bending down at the bank, she dipped her fingers into the water, delighting in its cold crispness. Terrasen with all it had to offer never ceased to amaze her and on her parents’ graves, she would swear there was no better place in the world. An odd sound caught her attention, pulling her out of the haze.

She jumped when she heard it again. Whipping her head back in forth, looking for the source and praying there wasn’t a fat bear, angry ghost leopard, or stag in rut waiting to annihilate her. Dogs didn’t make that sound, so she knew it wasn’t Elliot waiting to run out at her like he did so well. But now that she was being more rational, wild animals didn’t grunt like that either. Fleetfoot, the traitor, was completely unbothered and giving her what could only be labeled as a judgmental look.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Aelin chastised, moving past Fleetfoot towards the direction of the grunts which were coming in fairly regular intervals. The closer she got, the clearer it was that the noisemaker was human and male. And unless there was a random man in the woods, Rowan was out here doing something.

Aelin steeled herself, ready to be yelled at for interrupting but equally ready to lecture him on not being present to meet her. However, every prior notion died in her body when she reached a break in the trees. Rowan was swinging an axe, in the process of splitting a massive stump, releasing grunts when the tool met woody resistance.

His white t-shirt clung to him like a second skin, sweat making it almost translucent in some spots. Suspenders held up worn, tan canvas pants that hugged his ass in just the right way. Aelin could feel her ears burning in embarrassment from openly objectifying him from her spot behind a large tree, but it was not enough to deter her.

Rowan was attractive—a blind person would know it alone just from his voice, but in this moment, she’d never seen him look it more. He stopped, setting the axe down and looking in her direction. She held her breath, the anticipation of being caught staring looming over her.

He said nothing, did nothing to indicate he noticed her. Instead, he stripped on his shirt and wiped it across his face, soaking up sweat. Aelin’s blushing before could be categorized as child’s play compared to fiery feeling that was coursing through her body now. Rowan was the very definition of a man in peak physical condition. His tan skin looked as though he was cut from stone, every muscle visible to the eye defined. She didn’t even think abs like that existed outside of photoshop or romance novels, but they did.

From somewhere on the ground, he picked up a bottle and started drinking from it. The slight change his position, allowed her a better view on his just how far his tattoo went. His entire left arm, shoulder, chest, and neck were covered in the whirling black ink. In their encounters, Aelin knew it was from the old language but despite owning a bookstore, was not very familiar with the text.

Hydrated, Rowan exchanged the drinking bottle for his axe and began swinging it again, continuing to split the stump until all its pieces were approximately fireplace sized. In between stacking the pieces into a neat pile and selecting another large stump to hack, his bun loosened. Aelin wondered if she would finally see his hair down and it was that curiosity alone responsible for her still standing out of view, watching him.

It seemed he couldn’t take it anymore, hair falling into his face when he started again. Letting out frustrated grumble, he dropped the axe and pulled out the band holding it back. Long silver waves fell, the ends reaching to just below his shoulder blades. Aelin’s mouth grew very dry, and a warmth started low in her belly, extending down her legs.

She could deny it no longer, the attraction she had for this man was developing at alarming rate. Every interaction, another log to the fire and he was its tender. Moreover, his gruff attitude was awakening parts of her spirt that had long been dormant.

Chaol and her argued, but it lacked passion and was fueled solely by anger, with one of them eventually wavering to the other. They were comfortable and comfortable had been working for them, but it seemed like that was giving way to tumultuous waves and she wasn’t sure if she wanted Chaol to throw her a life raft. And she could not say with certainty anymore that he would even if it were wanted. She loved him, deeply, but she wouldn’t pretend that their latest fight hadn’t changed something.

Decidedly ignoring all her problems, Aelin returned her focus back to Rowan’s hulking 6’4” frame, enjoying watching him try to tame his silver hair back into a bun. She wondered to herself what it would be like to have hands do the same to her, betting that he’d have her purring like a cat from just the simple act alone.

Seemingly satisfied with his hair being tied back, Rowan looked around the clearing, and let out a whistle. He must be calling for Elliot, who Aelin had not seen this entire time. Fleetfoot was a Velcro dog and hardly left Aelin’s side, which was nice because never had to worry about her running off, even in the care of other people.

She’d spoke too soon. A ball of golden fur shot past her, running enthusiastically up to Rowan, effectively giving away her hiding spot like a giant neon sign. Rowan’s nose scrunched up in confusion at first and then smoothed into a smirk when he realized who was at his feet. Aelin slid back behind the entire tree she’d been peeking from behind, hoping he hadn’t seen her and had only given the area a brief once over.

Seconds ticked by and nothing happened. She cracked open an eye and only saw trees. Letting out a sigh of relief, she opened both and relaxed, recognizing how tense she’d been in waiting to be found. The bark dug into the exposed skin of her back but not painfully, allowing her to continue leaning against it as she contemplated her next move: walk out like she was looking for Fleetfoot or admit to being a certified creep.

The former was the superior choice, albeit a lie, but Aelin wasn’t sure she wanted to suffer through Rowan roasting her if she was truthful. He would take too much pleasure in it. And she would not give him that. Yet, the idea of lying to him was making her feel guilty.

She never got to make the final choice though, as she was jerked sideways, tripping over an exposed root and into a wall of firm muscle.

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Taglist:

@rowanaelinn @theresyourfireandblood @backtobl4ck @leiawritesstories @morganofthewildfire @rowaelinismyotp @jorjy-jo @theresyourfireandblood @numbers-colors-fashion @swankii-art-teacher @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart

#songs about you #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #throne of glass #rowaelin au #rowaelin fanfiction #throne of glass fanfiction #wordsafterhours #aelin x rowan #rowan x aelin #rowan #aelin #chaol westfall #slow burn #sorry for Chaol #fleetfoot #elliot #tell me your thoughts

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talkfastromance4 · 3 years

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Indigo--Calum Hood [one]

A/N: I can’t believe it’s finally arrived! Thank you all for being so patient while it took me literally two months to write this fic. It’s my first ever slow burn and the longest fic to date (word wise). This means so much to me and I really put my heart and soul into this. This is also written in Calum’s perspective!

Word count: 12.2k (36k total)

Warnings: themes of emotional infidelity but really all internal with no actions, confusing emotions and thoughts, nudity, slight mention of body image issues, casual drinking, jealousy, sexual situations

Masterlist

Indigo playlist--really just songs that helped inspire this piece so give it a listen if you’d like!

Feedback is always welcome and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

This is split in three parts because Tumblr's new post limit I can't fit it all in one post. So I'll be posting them all at once!

Enjoy!

***

Calum agreed to help out Sarah and Andy with their latest project. He wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly but anything they create is phenomenal and he’s ecstatic to be a part of it. He’d just texted Bianca, his girlfriend, that he’ll be gone for a better part of the afternoon when he arrives at Sarah and Andy’s place. Pebbles greets him at the door, her whole body wiggling with excitement by his presence.

“There’s our man!” Sarah chirps from the table, her camera and other gadgets placed on the table.

“We aren’t shooting here?” Calum asks bending down to pet Pebbles.

“No, there’s this meadow that gets the sun’s rays perfectly at this time,” Andy informs walking in with his own camera bag. “We’re meeting someone else there, too so we should get going.”

“Someone else?”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

The sun is beating down on Calum’s back as he walks through the tall grass behind Sarah and Andy. They’re a good distance away from the road and he hopes they won’t go too much further and land in the fate of a 90’s horror film. Andy and Sarah are talking quietly with each other and Calum checks his phone, no new messages from Bianca.

“All right, we’ll start setting up and you just sit and relax until she gets here,” Andy directs to Calum when they stop at a fallen tree that has moss growing on it and its roots extending to the sky.

“Who is ‘she’?” Calum asks, taking a seat on the tree. He wipes at the back of his neck, it’s sticky with sweat. His lips are starting to get chapped and he wishes he brought his water bottle.

Andy and Sarah exchange a look.

“She’d prefer to be anonymous so I can’t tell you,” She responds ominously and unzips her camera bag.

“Anonymous?” Calum is baffled. Andy and Sarah make a point to avoid the topic as they continue to gather their equipment.

In about ten minutes there was another figure walking through the grass and Calum peered at her trying to get a good look. Her hair was blowing in the slight breeze and bangs framed her face. Calum was intrigued when she was first mentioned.

Watching her walk towards them made him think of those snapshots in your life that sticks with you. Something inside of him told him this would be one of those moments.

She was short, which was the first thing he noticed when she stopped in front of him.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Traffic, y’know,” she smiles at Andy and Sarah.

He notices there’s a hint of purple in her hair.

She’s short and has purple hair.

“No problem, sweetie. We were just getting things ready. This is Calum,” Sarah nods towards him and the mystery girl turns in his direction too.

“Hi Calum, thanks for helping,” she smiles.

“No problem, Anonymous,” he grins standing from his tree and holds out his hand.

“Oh, right,” she snickers, stepping forward to take his hand. “You can call me Indie.”

She’s short, has purple hair, and likes to be called Indie.

“Nice to meet you Indie.”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Andy and Sarah first have Calum and Indie sit next to each other on the tree while they take some sample shots. This way Calum and Indie can get to know each other a little better. Calum notices the ink on her wrists, arms, and a nose piercing. She asked about his music and what inspires him. He asked what she does and she very offhandedly said with a shrug,

“Social media stuff.”

And that was the end of that. She didn’t add anything more and Calum wasn’t sure if he should ask for her to clarify but her statement had a tone of finality to it.

She definitely intrigues Calum.

“Okay, Indie, can you swing your leg over the tree like you’re riding a horse and lean on Calum’s shoulder?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah.”

Indie does as she’s directed then rests her arm on Calum’s shoulder, her head dropping on top of her arm.

“Both of you look at me...good, now Cal, look down at Indie...good, good. Okay, now I want you to put your leg over his...close your eyes for me, babe. That’s it! Beautiful.”

They continue with different poses on the tree and each touch Indie gives to Calum makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. His body becomes attuned to her touch until Sarah tells Indie to undo her shirt and lay her head on Calum’s lap.

Calum swallows thickly and watches Indie undo the buttons. He looks away quickly wanting to give her privacy and instead looks towards the direction of the road hoping they’re far enough away from peering eyes.

“Now lie across his lap and let the shirt fall over his legs. Yup, Cal... Calum!”

“Huh?” Cal whips his head forward and feels the weight of Indie’s head on his knees. He’s forcing himself to not look down but his body is aware of her weight on him.

He knows this is all a form of art, but he just met the girl and he was unaware this is how the shoot was going to go. He’s posed shirtless for Andy and Sarah multiple times but never with someone else. And never with a girl with purple hair, a gentle voice, and a pen name.

“Lay your arm over her chest.”

“What? Is that okay?” he looks down to Indie’s eyes, they’re a striking deep blue. Like the deepest part of the ocean and he gets a little lost in them. “Is that okay that I do that?” he asks her this time.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” she nods with a smile. “Thank you for asking.”

Calum carefully places his arm across Indie’s exposed chest; he notices how warm her skin already is from the sun but also feels the small poke of her nipples on the softest part of his arm.

“Cover her nipples a bit, Cal, she’s going to post these on her Instagram and you know their dumbass guidelines about breasts,” Sarah rolls her eyes adjusting her camera.

Calum adjusts his arm which means he has to look where her nipples are. He knows the human body is art in its natural form, and he admires the female body so why is he nervous? Is it because they literally just met and her top is open?

He curses himself. It’s not like they’re making an adult film or anything, this is an artistic moment. Shit, why did he think of an adult film because now a million different scenarios flash in his mind. While he places his arm across her chest, he sees some more ink below her breasts but he can’t quite make out the design.

“Indie, put your hands on his arm, spread your fingers…”

Calum hears the rapid shutter speed of her camera as she captures the intimate moment between strangers. Calum wonders why he was chosen to do this. Obviously, Michael wasn’t at the top of the list because he and Crystal are married, and Luke and Sierra just announced their engagement. KayKay is no novice in front of the camera, but maybe they wanted a girl and guy? Usually, Ashton is up for anything involving the human body.

“Cal, you have your thinking face on, man. Relax,” Andy says.

“Don’t be nervous,” Indie whispers gazing up at him.

Those damn blue eyes again. The purple in her hair really makes them pop and he notices a small freckle at the corner of her eye.

“You’re not?” his voice is hushed so Andy and Sarah don’t hear.

“Of course, I am, this is way out of my comfort zone. But this is art, and I want to explore it,” she shrugs.

It eased him that she was nervous as well. He took a deep breath and fixed her bangs in her face.

“That’s good, that’s really good, act natural,” Sarah advises.

“I like the purple,” he compliments, “it really comes out in the sun and makes your eyes stand out.”

“Thank you. I can’t really see your face because of the sun,” she squints up at him and giggles. Calum smiles at the sound.

The session continues and eventually Calum removes his shirt as well which he’s thankful for because he was starting to sweat. He told himself it was because the sun is at its hottest spot in the sky, not because of some cute girl with purple hair and tattoos with her shirt open.

He leans forward on his knees with Indie standing behind him and the tree, her chest pressed to his back and her hands locked under his neck. He wonders if she can hear how loud his heart is beating.

Another pose has him sitting in the grass with her legs hanging over his shoulders. Calum tickles her toes and she squeals out in laughter and Calum knows those will be great shots.

“Hey! Tickling is forbidden!” she laughs. “I will kick you and it will be your fault.”

“You won’t kick me,” he shakes his head but stops tickling her then notices another tattoo on the outside of her ankle. He looks to his right and sees a small red train on the inside of that ankle. “You have a lot of tattoos. What does this one mean?”

His finger traces the red outline of the train and the small speckle of stars shooting from the chimney.

“I loved Thomas the train engine.”

Calum looks up at her not believing her for a second. From this angle he forgets what his smart-ass remark was going to be because her naked midriff distracted him greatly. The ends of her hair tickled over her nipples, her bangs framing her face perfectly.

She gives him a radiant smile that he can’t deny by returning one of his own.

“All right, that’s it for this spot. Ready to head out Indie?” Sarah asks, pulling them from their small moment of connection.

“Yeah, I’m starved,” Indie buttons up her top.

“Want to come, Cal? We’re getting pizza at Marco’s,” Andy says.

“Uh, let me check my phone quickly, hang on,” he pulls out his phone then slips his shirt back on over his head. One notification from Bianca and she just gave his text to her a thumbs up. “Yeah, pizza sounds great.”

He walks next to Indie back to their cars.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

“How would you guys feel about doing a night shoot back at our place? The city lights in the skyline would be perfect,” Sarah says when she finishes off the last piece of pizza.

“I’m down for that. Can it be partially nude?” Indie asks, sucking up the last of her root beer from the vintage red cup.

“Absolutely,” Sarah nods.

“What do you say, Calum?” Indie looks up to Calum and he feels like she’s challenging him.

“I’m in,” he nods. He’s always up for a challenge.

The night shoot is out on Sarah and Andy’s balcony. Calum watches Sarah and Indie first from the doorway. Indie has her top open again leaning against the railing. She stretches her arms up above her head, extending her torso and Calum can get a better glimpse of that tattoo below her breasts.

It looks like celestial with moons and stars. As the photos progress, she slips it all the way off and leans over the railing. She does a profile view then reaches her hand out to Sarah’s camera for a close up of her fingers. The two women are giggling and Calum won’t deny how natural and confident Indie is in front of the camera even though she admitted to being nervous to him earlier.

Was she telling him the truth or was she just doing that to keep up this anonymous persona?

“Sarah has a way of making people feel comfortable in front of the camera. It’s her loving nature,” Andy explains as if reading Calum’s mind. “This is all Indie’s idea by the way, the shoot. She wants to do a body positivity session.”

“That’s…” Calum watches with wide eyes as Indie drops her shorts and panties then he sees her cute little bare ass. “Nice.” He clears his throat since she’s completely bare. Andy chuckles and nudges him in the ribs.

Calum is suddenly in the need of a cigarette; his fingers begin to twitch.

He watches her as she and Sarah continue to interact. Indie keeps her backside facing Sarah and Calum spots yet another tattoo on the back of her shoulder. Why’d she choose him to be a part of it? Or was it Andy and Sarah who chose him?

Calum opens his mouth to ask when Sarah calls him over.

“Get your ass out here, Hood, it’s your turn. Sit in the chair,” Sarah commands, pulling up said chair right in front of Indie.

Calum keeps his gaze on Indie’s face when he sits in the chair in front of her, his head seems a bit clearer now without her naked body in front of him.

“Shirt off?” he jokes, trying to ease his own tension.

“Please,” Sarah grins and he peels it off again. Of course, she’d say yes. “Baby, can you get the lights for me?”

The outside lights shut off by Andy and replaced by color changing string lights hanging in the rafters. Calum stares up above as they transition from green to yellow to orange and finally to some sort of purple/blue hybrid. Indie’s face comes into view over his shoulder, her fingers dance on his shoulders, her eyes are shining, and her hair is more purple with the added hue.

“Magical,” Sarah comments.

Indie smiles at him and he couldn’t agree more with Sarah’s statement and a few notes of a soft melody sprout in his head.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum stayed up all night going through Indie’s Instagram. He thought it would show her real name and he’ll deny to his dying breath that he did NOT spend an hour trying to find her profile. Turns out, her social media persona is displayed as Indie too and he wonders why.

Her posts are all about body positivity which include photos of her body that look professionally done in his opinion. Each pose is perfectly posed so you can’t really see everything but know that she’s fully naked. He tries to make out the tattoos he couldn’t see from the night before, but it’s hard with how her body twists and the way they’re edited.

He reads through some of the comments, agreeing with the ones telling how hot and gorgeous she is. He wanted to tell off the creeps and defend her because her message was about loving your body.

Her photos and posts are real and authentic. She talks about her own insecurities, how learning to love her body seems to be an ongoing lesson. He admires her rawness and understands seeing something different when you look in the mirror but when he sees her...he wonders how she can see flaws.

His phone rings right after he hits ‘follow’ and the noise scares him. His heart plummeted when he saw it was Bianca.

“Hey, babe,” he greets and she immediately rattles off about her day.

Calum puts her on speaker so he can continue to scroll through the photos of him and Indie she posted from their shoot. There are comments from some fans inquiring if he and Bianca broke up.

Bianca didn’t really say anything about his photoshoot, but she doesn’t really say much about what he does anyway.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

The guys are taking a little creative break after bouncing back chords, verses, and beats that they’ve been working on since six in the morning. Ashton was complaining about needing his fifth cup of iced coffee and Michael was starving so the two of them left to pick up lunch and coffee.

Luke and Calum remained behind like always. Luke never stopped working and Calum always kept him company, enjoying the sounds of his soft guitar playing. Ashton’s lava lamp changes to purple and Calum is reminded of Indie so he pulls out his phone and goes to her Instagram.

She’s made a few new posts within the last several days. The first one is of her standing in front of her bathroom mirror with a towel wrapped around her. Her eyes are wide and bright, her hair is in wet strands and the steam frames her reflection. The next one is darker with the towel dropped; two small black hearts are placed on her breasts.

She captioned it: “conversations with myself about loving me are the hardest conversations I have. Sometimes they’re serious and other times goofy, but that’s with the aid of rum. Being gentle with yourself seems so easy until you come face to face.”

The second most recent post is of her and another guy at some sort of festival. They both have on circular sunglasses and the photos are a little blurry. One is a close up of the guy but he’s out of focus and eating a corn dog. The next one is of the two of them standing in front of a funhouse mirror; she has her fingers up in a peace sign. There’s one of them eating cotton candy and the last is of them on the Ferris wheel.

She just captions it as ‘memories.’

The last one she posted was from several hours ago and it was another photo shoot. She was posed with the same guy from the festival only this time she was topless and his arms were around her in front of a mirror. Another one has her lying on a bed with her head hanging off the edge and she’s upside down. The guy is resting his head on her stomach, both of them are looking at the camera and he’s shirtless too. The last one is of her twisted on the bed under the sheets, her ass peeking out and she’s spread across the guy. His hand is very low on her back.

Calum feels a pang in his chest. The pictures are great and all but why is he feeling this sharp pain and warmth in his cheeks?

“Woah, are you on OnlyFans right now?” Luke snorts and Calum jumps from the sound of his voice.

“What?”

“Pretty raunchy, don’t ya think?” Luke grins and then something clicks within Calum.

Could Indie have an OnlyFans account? Is that what she meant by “social media stuff”? He knows it’s one of the most popular adult content websites right now and that pay is really good if you post a lot. Is Indie her...sex name? Is that what that’s called?

“D’you think she has an OnlyFans?”

“I dunno. Who is she?” Luke stops his guitar playing to look at Calum.

“I...I uh did a shoot with her, Andy, and Sarah a few weeks ago.”

“Really? What did you do?”

Calum brings up the session he and Indie did together, handing his phone over to Luke. He suddenly feels very self-conscious and almost wants to snatch his phone back so Luke doesn’t see Indie bare chested. But she posted it on her public Instagram so anyone can see it.

“Wow, you really did a nude shoot?”

“We had our pants on,” Calum scoffs, trying to take his phone back but Luke stretches his arm out of his grasp.

“She doesn’t in these next ones.”

“Give me my phone!” Calum scrambles over Luke’s broad frame to get his phone back. He settles back on the couch in a huff. “Don’t look at those.”

“You showed it to me! Who is she anyway?”

“I don’t really know. She goes by the name Indie but I don’t think that’s her real name.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we arrived at the meadow for the shoot, Andy said we were meeting someone else there and when I asked who it was; Sarah said she wanted to be anonymous. She posts a lot about body positivity and I asked what she does for a living and all she said was social media stuff.”

“OnlyFans is social media. What did Bianca have to say about these photos?”

“Not much,” Calum shrugs and he gets a Twitter notification from her. Does she have a sixth sense to post or call when he’s talking about her?

He opens up the notification and she’s talking about him but very vaguely by only calling him ‘boyfriend’ with a photo attached of him looking down at his phone while they were out to dinner the other night. She brags about him online but hardly does anything with him when they are together. He’s starting to forget why he’s dating her in the first place.

“She had nothing to say about you posing topless with another woman?” Luke’s guitar playing stops and his eyebrows are raised.

“Nope,” Calum sighs and likes Bianca’s post anyway. Their relationship seems to only be about ‘liking’ each other’s posts lately.

“That’s...odd. So, why’re you looking at this girl Indie’s insta anyway?”

“I like what she posts. It’s real and true and a lot of people relate to it. It’s nice,” Calum shrugs. “And she was cool to hang out with at the photo session.”

“Ah, I see. You’re jealous you aren’t in those photos with her.”

“What? No, I’m not.”

“Yeah you are, and you didn’t want me to see her naked bum.”

“How would Sierra feel about that?”

“She’d look with me,” Luke shrugs, “you know that. See if she tagged the guy and find out who he is. If he has an OnlyFans then there’s a possibility she might have one, too.”

“How does that make sense?” Calum asks but clicks on the tagged name anyway because he’s not thinking properly and his curiosity is getting the best of him.

“They promote new content with whoever they did it with.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“Saw it on TikTok, and there was that rumor that Ash has an OnlyFans so I Googled about it.”

“That’s a weird thing to Google.”

“Please, you’ve Googled worse. So, who is the bloke?” Luke peers over his best friend’s hand to look at his phone screen.

Calum looks back down at his phone on the new profile. He has quite a massive following and a small bio.

“His name is Ian, he’s a model and an extra in TV shows. There’s a link under his name but he posted photos with her, too.”

Calum taps on the post to see it’s of them in that damn bed again. Indie is straddling him but she has on some sort of lace outfit and Ian’s hands are on her waist. They’re both laughing and facing the camera.

“He wrote ‘always a blast doing sessions with you.’ Does that mean photo sessions or OnlyFans stuff?”

“How am I supposed to know? Why does it concern you anyway?”

That stops Calum short. Why does it concern him? His mind is spiraling with his conflicting emotions and the desire to search for more information about this Ian guy. He tosses his phone on the opposite end of the couch.

“It doesn’t concern me. I was curious and now I know you and Sierra subscribe to OnlyFans.”

“What? I didn’t say that at all!” Luke squeaks then narrows his eyes. “Don’t change the subject. Why does it matter if she has one or not?”

“I want to understand her, she didn’t tell me much about her and I’m not sure why.”

“She probably wants to keep her life private. Does she have a big following for what she posts?”

“Yeah.”

“Then maybe she doesn’t want people knowing her business. You can understand that, can’t you?”

“Of course, I can, I--she intrigues me, that’s all. I want to know more about her.”

“Why do you want to know more about her?”

“I don’t know! She...her purple hair and nose ring and tattoos...and her eyes are so damn blue. I don’t understand it.”

Luke is silent for several moments staring at Calum, his blue eyes imploring his friend to tell more. Luke‘s looking at Calum as if he knows something.

Calum is lost in his confusion. Luke moves from the couch and picks up Calum’s notebook and his favorite type of pen. He holds them out to Calum.

“Write about it. Figure it out.”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum tried to write about it and figure it out and he was a little ashamed of himself for searching for Indie on OnlyFans a few days later after talking with Luke. It made him feel pervy, and even though he didn’t find her, it wouldn’t have changed his outlook on her at all if she did have an account. It only makes him want to learn more about her and not the small number of half-truths he received.

It’s been a month since he saw her and he’s at a party with Roy and Bianca. Bianca was off with her friends so Calum and Roy were left to their own devices which were perfectly fine for Calum. He’s always up for a good time but only when it’s with his close friends who are more like family, not a hundred people who sneak photos of him when they walk by.

He’s scanning the crowd--people watching is his favorite thing to do--when he spots someone with purple hair walk by.

“Indie! Hey!” Roy literally took the words right from Calum’s mouth.

Roy knows Indie?

Indie turns at the sound of her name waiting for her friend to pass and she smiles upon seeing Roy then shows her teeth in a radiant smile when she sees Calum right next to him. She’s got on some overall shorts with one of the straps unbuttoned and a tight black shirt that stops at her midriff. There’s some glitter on her face and Calum is mystified once more.

“Hey Cal, fancy seeing you here. Hey Roy,” she smiles at him and Roy pulls her into a hug. Calum feels a twinge of jealousy that he didn’t receive a hug.

“You two know each other?” Calum asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, Indie comes to my meditation sessions once in a while. It’s been too long since the last one, missy.”

“I’ve been working!” she giggles shoving his shoulder playfully. “I’m in need of a good meditation zone, though. Oh, this is my friend, Travis.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Travis shakes Calum and Roy’s hands.

Calum eyes him up but before he can say anything else, Travis mentioned something about finding their group of friends.

“I’ll send you details on the next mediation,” Roy tells her before she heads out.

“I look forward to it. Have a nice time,” she smiles at them both and lets Travis guide her through the crowd.

Calum is a bit upset he didn’t really get to talk to her as he watches her disappear into the sea of people. He continues listening to Roy and his latest idea for a new album and what it will be based around. He hums and comments in the spaces he’s supposed to but his mind is off on someone else.

And then he wonders where the hell Bianca got off to.

“What’s wrong with you, man? Your mind is out of this world right now,” Roy comments.

“Nothing, nothing,” Calum shakes his head gruffly and then Bianca appears handing Calum a drink.

“You look parched,” she kisses his cheek and he feels the sticky residue of her lip gloss on his skin.

Calum continues to search for Indie as the night goes on, wanting to discuss how her body positivity project is going. He smiles and poses in the photos with Bianca; he knows both of their smiles are fake. Whenever she touches him, he doesn’t get that same feeling he did when Indie touched him in the meadow.

It’s a little after midnight as he exits the bathroom and bumps into someone.

“Oops, sorry, my faul--Indie! Hey!” he grins down at her.

“Oh! Hi again. Having a good time?” she asks brightly.

“It’s all right, how about you?”

“Not really in the mood to party tonight,” she shrugs, “but my friend Travis from earlier likes a guy here so I’m his wing woman.”

“What a good friend you are,” he smiles. “Have they met up?”

“I got a text from him with the tongue emoji, the fire emoji, and the drooling emoji,” she counts off on her fingers. “I’ve walked around this place twice so I’m assuming he’s all good,” she chuckles.

“So, you’re here all alone?”

“Yeah. I was just about to order an Uber--”

“I can take you home if you’d like. You shouldn’t take an Uber alone.”

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t mind--”

“Hey baby, some of the girls want to go to the club. I’ll see you later,” Bianca appears and gives Calum a very fleeting kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, before you go, this is Indie; remember how I did that photoshoot a month ago?”

Bianca glances at Indie who gives her a bright smile.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet--”

“Oh, yeah! Where you were both half naked! Very hot. I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says offhandedly to Calum then runs off to her friends.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Indie finishes in a half-shout and Calum laughs. “She’s a woman on a mission, huh?”

“Yeah, always has to be where the party's at. How about that drive home?”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Once in his car, Indie connects her phone to his Bluetooth and puts on her playlist along with the address of her apartment. Calum watches her scroll through her phone until she selects the first song; its vibe is very chill, fitting the mood of the blue color of his car’s interior lighting. He keeps glancing over to her; the blue really brings out the purple in her hair. She then pulls her hair back and up behind her head in a makeshift ponytail, fanning herself with the other hand.

“Hot?” he asks while pressing the button for the AC. she lets out a yelp of surprise when the cool air blows on her neck from the headrest of her seat.

“I need my seats to have this feature,” she sighs then lets her hair drop over her shoulder. “Thank you for taking me home. Will you meet up with...oh my God, what’s your girlfriend’s name?” she presses her hands to her face, eyes widening in horror. “She left before you could introduce her.”

“Her name’s Bianca, and no, I’ll probably go home. Club life isn’t really my style.”

“Are you hungry?” she asks.

“For what?” He peers at her curiously.

“Have you ever had insomnia cupcakes?”

When they arrive at the small cupcake shop they read over the flavors listed on the bulbous glass display case. The cupcakes are the size of muffins and each time Indie nudges closer to him, he can smell her perfume. It’s citrus with a hint of something else he can’t place but she smells wonderful.

Indie ends up getting a strawberry cupcake with white frosting and pink sprinkles and Calum gets a confetti one which she teases him about.

“What’s wrong with confetti?!” he laughs following her outside and sits at one of the round metal tables.

“It’s like the second most vanilla flavor you could get. Live on the edge!” she swipes off a bit of frosting and sucks it off with a low satisfied moan.

Her eyes close relishing then taste and Calum gets momentarily distracted by her reaction to the cupcake.

“Well, isn’t that vanilla frosting? Not too on the edge yourself, are ya?”

“It’s not vanilla. Here,” she holds her cupcake in front of him, her eyes testing him. “Try a taste.”

He swipes her frosting off, eyes still on hers and he pops his finger in his mouth. His tongue is full of a very zesty lemon flavor, it’s sugary and sweet but light enough where it’s not too overbearing.

“Shit, that’s good.”

“Told you! Now you enjoy your plain confetti over there,” she wiggles in her chair taking her cupcake back. She swipes up more frosting.

“You eat the frosting first?” he asks, unfolding the paper from his cupcake.

“Mhm, the cake is the best part.”

He watches her in wonder as she continues to eat before taking a very large bite of his own treat. Frosting gets on his nose and she loses it when he wipes it off.

“Did I get it all?” he asks, sucking off the frosting from his thumb.

“You missed a spot...right here!”

Somehow she snuck some frosting on her pinky finger and rubbed it onto his cheek and nose. Calum was dumbfounded then when he saw her practically rolling in her chair from laughing, he joined her and wiped it off on her own.

“Thanks for that,” he laughs, licking off the lemon frosting.

“I’m sorry, I had to,” she shrugs and licks off the rest of her frosting from her cupcake.

“I’m going to get you back for that, Indie. Mark my words.”

“I’m trembling in my overalls,” she mocks with a smile.

“You should be,” he teases and takes another large bite of his cupcake.

When their cupcakes are finished they’re back in his car and her music fills the air with sound. He makes note of the band on his screen, Linus Young, so he can look them up later. He turns it down on the song titled ‘Crystal Ball.’

“How’s your latest project coming along?” he asks then moves into the middle lane.

“Pretty good, I guess. I want to do a couple more shots before I do a post. Sarah said she’d help me with it, we just have to find the time.”

“Do you need a partner?” he grins.

“Not for these shots,” she giggles, “but you’re more than welcome to come if you’d like. I’m always open to other artists' creative eyes.”

“Yeah, I’d love to. Do you have an idea on what your next project will be?”

“Um, I don’t know. It’s always centered on self-love and body positivity. I might try something with body paint or shadows. There’s a--”

“Do you have an OnlyFans?” he blurts out then immediately wants the earth to swallow him up whole.

Where the hell did that come from? He wanted to try and ease into it casually but how do you casually bring up a website like that? And now he just blurted it out like an imbecile. He keeps his eyes on the road anticipating a well-deserved slap across his cheek or for Indie to demand he take the next exit and drop her off.

Instead, she laughs. It’s a full-on cackle with a trail of giggles gasping for breath. Indie doesn’t stop until he looks over at her in alarm and with an apologetic grimace.

“Oh, you’re serious?” she squeaks wiping at the corners of her eyes. She takes a deep breath, still chuckling. “Why do you think that?”

“I was showing my friend Luke the shoot we did and when I went to your Instagram he saw your other photos and asked if I was on OnlyFans and he said creators usually post photos like that with a partner they collaborated with or something and you said your job is social media stuff and that’s social media and I’m--I’m an asshole for blurting it out like that. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business but even if you are, that’s great, y’know? No shame or judgment from me whatsoever. And I feel stupid for even trying to search you--”

“You tried searching for me?” she asks but Calum’s on a ranting rampage. “Wow. I’m fl--”

“This makes me sound like a grade A creep. You--”

“Calum!” she laughs resting her hand on his forearm. The hair on his neck stands up at her touch just like in the meadow. “As entertaining as it is to see you stumble over your words and talk this much, stop. I’m flattered you would even think that in the first place, but no, I don’t have an account.”

He risks a glance at her; she gives him a warm smile.

“Do you have an account?” She asks in a hushed whisper.

“What?!” he swerves a little in his lane but thankfully he needs to change over for the exit. His GPS says Indie’s place is only a few more minutes away. “No, no I don’t have one.”

She giggles again but doesn’t say another word.

They’re silent for the remainder of the drive, the music playing softly in the background. He wishes he never said anything and that Luke didn’t bring it up in the first place. Calum makes the few turns indicated on his screen and then parks in front of a duplex. Indie unbuckles her seatbelt, angling herself towards him.

“Would you subscribe if I did?”

He jerks his head in her direction, did he hear her right? He opens his mouth to answer then narrows his eyes, she does the same and they have a narrow-eyed contest until they’re laughing.

“Would you subscribe if I did?” he counters.

“I asked you first.”

He unbuckles himself as well so he can stretch in his seat and run his fingers through his hair. “I’m not going to answer that. Can we pretend I never asked that and this conversation never happened?” He drops his hands to the steering wheel; he needs to have a firm handle on something because clearly his tongue is acting wild.

“What did you ask?”

“What?”

“What conversation are you talking about?”

Calum stares at her, then looks outside as if there’s a hidden camera and he’s being punk’d right now. Is Ashton Kutcher hiding in that trailer?

“We were talking about OnlyFans.”

“Calum! I was playing along! You didn’t ask me anything and we didn’t have a conversation about that unasked question,” she gives him a perky smile.

“You are something else, you know that?” he rubs at his face out of embarrassment and feeling like such an idiot.

“That’s what I’m told,” she sighs.

He feels there’s a story or two there but he’s already invaded her privacy enough tonight. And it’s only the second time actually meeting her.

“Can I ask you something?” She asks.

“Yes. Please do.”

“Why do you want to know what I do?”

Calum rests his head on his seat, turning his head towards her with his hands still on the wheel. She’s situated herself in her seat so that one leg is pulled to her chest and resting against the center console. Her round cheek is cupped in her hand, her eyes wide and captivating.

“I want to know more about you, that’s all.”

“Why do you want to know about me, Cal?”

That question again. The answer is staring him right in the face, it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he just can’t bring himself to say it out loud. So, he alters his answer because he’s already rambled enough for one night.

“You have this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude and a free spirit. You’re sure of yourself and not a lot of people are like that.”

“I definitely do give a fuck about a lot of things. Maybe too much,” she shrugs, removing her hand and leans forward. “You’re sure that’s all?”

She doesn’t ask it in fishing for compliments type of way, it’s more like she knows he’s hiding something, like she knows he sugar-coated his answer. Indie’s eyes have him captured, he’s like a fly caught in a black widow’s web that’s made up of his own lies.

“Ye-es…” he responds slowly.

“You promise?”

Her eyes are steady on his, he squeezes the wheel, arms tightening, knuckles whitening, and the smallest flick of her eyebrow causes him to let out a large exhale. Calum drops his hands in defeat.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” he shakes his head.

She’s looking at him like Luke was looking at him back in the studio.

“You’re…” he licks his lips and swallows down his nerves. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met, Indie. I’ve never been this lost in my head on finding the proper words to say what I want to say. But I can tell you that my intentions are only to get to know you, which I’m certain of.”

“Get to know me as a friend?”

“Friend, photoshoot partner, whatever it is,” he shrugs. “All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you.”

She gives him a small smile with an even smaller nod then takes a deep breath. Her hands rub at her temples as she lets out a frustrated groan covering her eyes with her hands.

“Are you okay?”

“You know that’s the truest thing you’ve said this whole time, Cal? I’d be glad to be your friend but I can’t lie about how I’ve been thinking about you, too.”

“So... what do we do about that?”

Indie removes her hands, her eyes the size of planets holding the same secrecy of the galaxy. He wants to explore every part, every hidden crevice.

“I want to know you, too. But we have to promise--” she holds out her pinky “--that we are friends first and foremost. I don’t trust people easily; I only tell what I think they should know. But my intuition is telling me to trust you and it’s never wrong. Can you do that?”

Calum mulls over her words. He reaches over the console so their faces are closer. He can see the glitter on her cheeks and how they resemble constellations. He cups her cheek; his fingers locking in her hair and captures her lips in a fevered kiss without a thought of the repercussions that will follow.

The kiss is full of sparks, desire, and an innate need. Indie kisses him back with equal hurriedness and soon they’re scrambling to the backseat. Lips still connected, her fingers claw at his shirt and--

“Cal?”

Calum blinks. He’s pulled back to the present, his fantasy betraying him in the worst possible way from the reality of Indie still holding her pinky out for him.

The kiss was all in his head. Going against his selfish desires, he hooks his pinky with hers and Indie’s face turns serious.

“We promise to always stay friends, no matter what. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“We promise that no matter what comes from the darkness, what secrets will surface, or whatever urges may arise, we are friends first and won’t let those things change that. Promise?”

“I promise,” he nods, tilting his head to the side in amusement as she continues.

“And above all else...we won’t leave or abandon one another. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good. I promise, too,” she stares at their joined pinkies.

“You okay?” he asks, feeling the shift within her.

“Yeah...it’s a little...I’m giving you all my trust. It’s a little scary.”

He squeezes her pinky then covers their joined hands with the palm of his other hand. He cocks his head lower until she looks at him with shining, vulnerable eyes.

“I promise I won’t break it, Indie.”

He wonders if she catches the double entendre to his promise because while he said it about her trust, he could tell she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve. He doesn’t want to break that either.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum has been walking on air ever since that night with Indie a few weeks ago promising to be friends. Is he attracted to her? Absolutely. That at least is something he can admit even if it is in his own head. Will he act on those thoughts? No, because he has respect for Indie and his relationship with Bianca.

Things between him and Bianca have gotten a little better; they go out more and she’s asked him about his music. When he’s mentioned he has this tune stuck in his head that he can’t figure out she doesn’t say too much about it and quickly transitions to her next appearance promoting a new line of liquor.

Calum’s confident he can push his attraction for Indie to the side and make their friendship a priority. He’s never had a female best friend before but it’s an easy transition with her.

After that night they exchanged numbers and were quick to start sending funny memes and TikTok videos. Calum downloaded the app solely because of her and when he discovered she had a few videos of her own, he watched the four videos relentlessly.

“You’re a very talented lip syncer, you should go pro,” he’d told her one day over FaceTime while he was making breakfast.

“There’s no such thing as a pro lip syncer,” she snorted back. She was applying makeup in her bathroom sitting cross legged on the counter with her feet in the sink.

“Yeah there’s that show on MTV or some shit where you dress up and put on a whole performance.”

“I would literally die if I had to perform in front of people. No thank you.”

Calum laughed then watched her apply her eyeliner with careful strokes and perfect precision. Whenever she did her makeup she had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and her bangs clipped up so she wouldn’t get makeup on them. Seeing her whole face for the first time filled him with even more intrigue and he thought she was even more beautiful.

“Why do you do that on the sink?” he asked, flipping his egg on his toast.

“So I can get closer to the mirror. It’s a girl thing. Doesn’t Bianca do it?”

“Dunno, I’ve never seen her put her makeup on before.”

He would send her photos and videos of Duke and each time she’d comment on how adorable he is and that she would steal him one day.

“You’ll have to get through me first,” he grinned.

“I can take you. It’s one of my superpowers.”

“What superpower is that exactly?”

“If I tell you then my cover’s blown, duh.”

“Why don’t you show me then?” he teased with a slight hint of flirtation.

“Cal…” she warned but couldn’t help her giggle.

“All right, all right,” he smiled, scratching at his head. “Sorry.”

There would be some innocent slip-ups like that throughout their conversations. Calum just felt so at ease with Indie and when she asked him to help her with a photoshoot of hers he was more than excited to accept.

When he arrived at her place, there was music playing from down the hall and he heard voices followed by Indie’s laugh. He follows the sound right into her bathroom where she is with another girl while the bathtub was running water, bubbles rising.

“Did you finally get your own dog?” he asks and the two girls turn at his voice.

“No, it’s for the photos,” Indie smiles. “Cal, this is Inka, she’s going to be in the photos with me and helping you take them.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Calum,” Inka smiles.

Inka’s a little taller than Indie with flowing ink black hair, wide set eyes and brown skin. She has a septum piercing and is also very good looking.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods, and then turns fearfully to Indie. “I’m taking the photos? Shouldn’t you ask Sarah, she’s a professional.”

“I don’t want them to look professionally done. Inka’s big on water photography so she’ll help you. And we need someone to take photos of us together.”

“All right, so…” he glances at the tub that Inka is now bent over testing the water. “What’s with the bubble bath?”

“That’s where we’ll be,” Indie grins, removing her shorts.

Calum is so caught off guard by being the photographer that his eyes watch her step out of them, but finds she has on swimsuit bottoms. At least he won’t be distracted this time like in the meadow or at Andy and Sarah’s when she was completely naked.

“Are you alright with us being topless, Cal?” Inka asks removing her own shorts. He spots some ink on her skin as well, he wonders if they got tattoos together at one point. The styles are pretty similar.

“I’m fine if you guys are,” he shrugs then eyes up the Polaroid sitting on the counter. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me here; I respect the artistry of the naked body.”

“All I needed to hear,” Inka says with a sigh. “The water’s perfect, Indsy. I’ll put on music that helps me get in the zone.”

“Is this the camera I’ll be using?” Calum asks, pointing to the Polaroid as Inka changes the music on her phone to something with a bit of soul to it. The voice echoes very softly within the bathroom.

“Yeah, it’s Inka’s. She’ll show you how to use it while I’m in there. Thanks for helping with this, everyone couldn’t or thought it was weird when I asked them.”

“Glad to be of assistance,” he smiles down at her, noticing she doesn’t have makeup on. “You look nice by the way.”

“Thank you. I’m going to take my top off now,” she touches his arm as if in assurance, her eyes widening slightly. “Will you be okay?”

He knows she’s teasing but he links his pinky with hers that’s on his arm.

“Promise. Now get in there,” he jerks his head towards her bath.

“Sheesh, you’re a demanding assistant.”

She backs away and he examines the camera with curiosity. When Inka and Indie converse behind him, he lifts his eyes to their reflection in the mirror just as Indie is pulling her t-shirt off. Her eyes meet his as she tosses it to the floor and it’s as if the moment slows before she’s stepping into the water.

“Inka! This is too hot!” she squeals, pulling her foot out.

“No, it’s not! Calum, come feel the water.”

He turns and stands next to Indie; he bends to the floor pressing his hand through a mountain of bubbles. It’s pretty warm but he’s come to realize that Indie doesn’t like hot things.

“I think it’s fine but it is too hot for her,” he agrees with Indie.

“Well, you’ll get used to it and if your cheeks get a little red or your chest, then it will make the pictures better.”

Indie sighs; she puts her hand on Calum’s shoulder for extra support and puts her foot in the water again. She lets out a hiss and stands there for a couple seconds. Calum grabs her hand and holds her fingers when she places her other foot in the tub as well. He watches her scrunch her face at the temperature, he can see a red splotch blooming on her chest already and she’s not even fully in yet.

“Darling, it’s really not that bad,” Inka sighs rubbing at Indie’s shoulder. “Is it?”

“I just need to let myself get used to it,” Indie replies and drops a knee, her fingers’ holding onto Calum’s tightly.

“I can get a cold washcloth for you,” he offers but Indie shakes her head and drops her other knee.

“I’ll be okay. Can you get me a bottled water from my fridge?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he nods and he releases her fingers.

When he returns, Indie is fully in the bath, her hair cascading over her back like a dark purple curtain. Her knees are drawn up to her chest and Inka is on the floor with her camera pointed at Indie. Indie’s head is on her knees, her body curving forward, eyes big and her lips pouting slightly.

Calum doesn’t like how she looks sad even if he knows it’s for the aesthetics of it all. Indie looks up at him then stretches a now bubbly arm towards him for the water.

“Wait, stay like that for a minute!” Inka instructs Indie's pose and the camera clicks. “Okay, you can take it.”

Calum sits against the cabinets next to Inka, paying attention to the buttons on the camera before she takes a picture. Indie leans back with her head tilted back and eyes closed, her breasts pointing out. Then she rested her arms on the edge of the tub, her cheek falling perfectly in the crook of her elbows and she eyed up the camera and Inka. When she looked at Calum, he forgot how to swallow.

“Okay, ready for me?” Inka asks, standing up from her place on the floor.

“You’re going to complain about the water though,” Indie rolls her eyes playfully and turns the tap back on. She shifts to the opposite end so she doesn’t feel the hot water.

“Just take photos you think would be good as candid’s,” Inka instructs handing Calum the camera.

He’s nervous now. He doesn’t want to mess up their vision and he runs over what Inka told him in his head as she takes off her tank top and climbs in with Indie.

“This is so tepid!” Inka shrieks and Indie laughs.

“It’s perfect!”

“You’re such a little weirdo,” Inka drops into the water and pushes the running water towards Indie. Indie sticks her tongue out.

While the water continues to run, Calum takes some practice shots and Inka starts to pull her hair up in a very messy bun with loose strands kissing her cheeks and forehead. She looks very good, actually. Inka has a natural beauty to her, much like Indie does. Calum took photos of that process, Inka is confident in herself like Indie is; it’s all in her posture.

“Remember the first time we were in the bath together?” Indie asks, leaning against the wall.

“Yeah, you were drunk and thought your tub was a whirlpool. But you turned the shower on instead and I thought you were drowning,” Inka laughs.

Calum captures their smiles. He remains silent as they place bubbles on each other’s noses or blow them at each other from their hands. He tries to take as many of those as he can because he thinks they’re charming.

He discovers they’ve been friends ever since Indie moved to L.A and have gone through tough things with each other like bad relationships, loss of jobs, and fallouts from a whole group of friends they were involved in. The more they talked, the closer they got in the tub.

“Here, turn around, I want to get some shots like this,” Indie tells Inka.

They’re in a fit of giggles and laughter as Inka maneuvers in the water, some of the bubbles are rolling down the sides of the tub. Once they’re situated, Indie scoots closer until she’s pressed against Inka’s back. Calum’s reminded of feeling her pressed against his back at Andy and Sarah’s.

“Look at Cal,” Indie says and they both turn to Calum.

He snaps the photo.

“How are you doing over there Mr. Camera Man?” Inka asks leaning against Indie.

“Great. How’re you guys?” he asks.

“Hungry. I want some pizza,” Indie sighs. She presses her cheek to Inka’s neck and wraps her arms around her stomach.

“We’ll order some afterwards,” Inka lifts her hand and pats at Indie’s head affectionately. “Does Calum know you need to be fed every few hours?”

“You make me sound like a baby,” Indie laughs. “Does Calum know?” She directs the question to him in third person, looking at him expectantly.

“Yes, I discovered she gets very feisty when she’s hungry,” Calum laughs.

“He’s a good egg,” Indie says and kisses Inka’s neck.

“Wait, do that again,” Calum says and Indie presses her lips to Inka’s neck. He snaps the picture and he grins. “That’s a good one.”

“Stay professional over there, sir,” Inka warns, narrowing her eyes.

“I am! It’s a sweet moment that’s all. You guys are close and have been through a lot. There aren’t too many friendships like that.”

“I always tell her she’s my soulmate,” Inka pats Indie's cheek then spins around again in the water.

“My friend Ash and I say the same thing.”

“You two take baths together, too?” Inka asks and Indie laughs.

“No,” he laughs. “We wouldn’t fit.”

That gets them both laughing and he snaps a picture of it, the pure joy and amusement on their faces. He notices goosebumps are on Indie’s arms.

“You’re getting cold, Indie,” he comments.

“Yeah, we should get out soon. Did you get some good photos?” she asks, sitting up a little straighter, her hands on the edge of the tub.

“Wait, Cal get one more picture,” Inka stops Indie from standing.

He poises the camera to his eye again and watches as Inka leans in and gives Indie a soft kiss on the lips. She holds the kiss so he can take the picture and he keeps snapping when they pull away and smile at each other.

They both rise from the tub with more water sloshing over the sides; all the bubbles are gone now. Calum stands handing them each a towel; he’s trying to wrap his head around that kiss. He kisses his friends too, but to see Indie be kissed by a girl made that pang form in his chest again like when she hugged Roy and not him.

He shouldn’t be jealous; they’re just friends and he pinky promised.

“I’ll order some pizza and upload these so we can look at them,” Inka says, wrapping the towel around her. She folds it over so it’s held to her body like a strapless dress. “Time to put your camera skills to the test.”

The photos ended up looking really well. He could tell the differences between his and Inka’s, hers were angled in different ways to make the focal point look cool. His photos were straighter on but Inka was impressed by some of his close-up shots of their laughter.

The three of them watched a movie as they ate their pizza, laughing at the scenes and more memories that came about for Indie and Inka. Calum really liked Inka and she gave him a hug when she left, promising she’ll contact him if she needs his help for her own photos.

“You have her approval by the way,” Indie says, moving back to the couch pulling her blanket over her legs.

“Approval?” He joins her resting his arm over the back of her couch.

“Of being my guy best friend. This was sort of a test of hers by having you deal with our shenanigans and being half naked in the tub.”

“Elaborate, please?” he chuckles. “Did she think I’d be weird about it?”

“She’s a little protective over me. We’re best friends but…” Indie looks at her hands in her lap; she starts to play with the edge of the blanket.

“But…?” he prompts and she bites her lip. “I feel like this is a pinky promise moment.”

“It is.”

He holds out his pinky waiting for her to link their fingers. She takes in a deep breath and hooks her pinky around his but she doesn’t let it go when she speaks. Her eyes are trained on their pinkies.

“Inka and I dated actually, for a short time. It was right when I moved out here and we got super close super-fast, I felt the most comfortable with her in the friend group I fell into. She’s the first one I voiced my attraction to women about and she said she was the same. We both don’t like labels. And... Yeah, we dated for a couple months but both agreed our friendship was more important than if we broke up badly.”

“So, you’re attracted to men and women or just women?” he asks softly.

“Both,” she says, her eyes still on their pinkies. “Inka’s the only woman I’ve dated and have been with but I’ve had other crushes. They just never went anywhere.”

“Hey, look at me,” he tugs on her pinky lightly until her eyes meet his. “Why do you seem scared?”

“When I tell other guys about it they get all weird and ask for threesomes or they get freaked out like I'm going to cheat on them with her or something. I’m attracted to girls but it’s more than attraction, too.”

“I get it,” he nods, “you don’t have to explain to me. You care for people for who they are. I’m sorry if you felt cautious to tell me. You can tell me anything, Indie.”

“It’s just nerve wracking, that’s all,” she lets out a shaky laugh. “I knew you wouldn’t be creepy with the photos but while we were doing them I figured this would be a good time to tell you.”

“Thank you for telling me, it helps me get to know you better,” he smiles. She gives him one back then pulls her pinky away so she can give him a hug.

He holds her tightly, feeling how fast her heart is beating. They didn't let go until her heart slowed down and matched his.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Every day at the studio, Luke would pester Calum asking when they would finally get to meet Indie. Not long after, Ashton and Michael would chime in as well about wanting to meet her and Calum would do his best to ignore them. But he knows his brothers and they’re persistent to the point where it will make you go mad if you don’t agree.

Today was more of a chill day tossing random lyrics and notes around trying to make it into a song. While the other three were goofing off, Calum was at the piano trying to work out the notes that have been swimming in his head for the last couple months. He has the first and last notes down pat but what is in the middle? He can’t figure it out.

“Hey, Cal,” Luke calls, “you should have a party tonight.”

“What for?”

“So, we can all hang out, drink, eat, meet Indie…”

Calum’s hands fall away from the keys and he twists around on the bench to see Luke smiling with all his teeth. He looks like that emoji with his teeth bared.

“Why do you want to meet her so badly?”

“She’s friends with you, we want to be friends with her as well,” Luke shrugs.

“Roy knows her, why can’t we?” Ashton adds.

“Yeah, is she even real at this point?” Michael chortles.

“Yes, she’s real,” Calum rolls his eyes. “How—”

His phone buzzes on the table.

“It’s Indie!” Luke exclaims trying to snatch up the phone.

Calum darts forward grabbing his phone before they can. Thankfully, it was just a text because he knew if he picked up the phone one of them would have found a way to speak with Indie and say something ridiculous.

“Stop acting like we’re twelve,” Calum shakes his head. “Two of you are married.”

“I’m engaged, actually,” Luke corrects, leaning back on the couch. He crosses his converse covered feet at the ankles. “What’d she want?”

Against his better judgment, Calum opens the message to see three photos and a text. They’re all the same photos just taken in different positions. It’s her naked body, from just below her breasts to the tops of her thighs. She’s poised in a way that you can’t see anything and it ranges from black and white, sepia, and the original photo.

‘Which one should I post?’ was the text sent.

“She sent me photos asking for help on which ones to pick for a post,” Calum says already typing away about how she should do all of them. Then he asks how her day’s going. He looks up at his friends and they’re giving him the same look of expectation. “Ugh, fine! If I invite her over you can’t be weird as shit like you are right now.”

They whoop and holler at that news.

“Finally, we get to meet the infamous Indie,” Luke sighs, resting his head on his hands. Calum throws a pillow right at his face.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

All of Calum’s friends are mingling in the backyard and kitchen area, conversation and laughter is heard over the low sound of the music playing. He’s ordered pizza and wings for everyone to enjoy and they should be delivered in about forty-five minutes. He’s been anxiously waiting for Indie to arrive but is also nervous about how the guys will act around her.

Bianca is out of town so she couldn’t make it and Calum wasn’t too sure what his feelings are about her not being here. She told him to have fun and not get too rowdy, so he appreciates that small sentiment.

Indie was excited to meet everyone else when he called her and when she asked if she could bring a friend, he assumed it was Inka so he of course said yes.

Boy was he ever wrong.

He was popping open another white claw when Andy and Sarah announced her name. He looks up in excitement to see her hugging Sarah but then it falters when he sees it’s not Inka that’s next to her. It’s that guy Ian from her Instagram posts that she posed with. The pang in his chest is back when Ian places his arm over Indie’s bare shoulders and shakes Andy and Sarah’s hand.

Calum takes notice of her outfit; she has on a dark blue top with the sleeves that only go to the tops of her arms and black jean shorts with some black boots. Her dark purple hair is pulled back behind her head in a sort of braid.

“Hey isn’t that—”

“Indie?” Calum finishes Luke’s sentence and takes a long drink of his white claw. “Yeah, let’s go introduce you.”

Ashton and Michael met them by Indie and she gave Calum a big smile.

“Hey! How’re you?” she asks rising on her tiptoes to give him a hug. Ian and Calum’s eyes meet briefly before Indie pulls away.

“I’m good, glad you could come,” Calum forces a smile. “Uh, these are the guys. It’s about time you all met. This is Luke, Ashton, and Michael. Guys, this is Indie.”

“So, you are a real person,” Ashton nods, shaking her hand.

“As opposed to what? A blow-up doll?” Indie teases and Michael chokes on his own drink.

Calum grins because he knows she’ll be able to handle herself around them. He just hopes they don’t say anything about him that would raise questions.

“I like you,” Ashton smiles. “Who’s this you brought along?”

“Oh! Right, sorry. This is Ian,” she introduces.

Calum eyes him up while he shakes his friends’ hands. He’s about the same height as Calum with short brown hair that kind of sticks up in the front. He’s got tan skin, an arm of tattoos, and has a lean muscular build.

“And this is Calum,” Indie introduces him last.

Calum notices she didn’t say ‘my friend’ or ‘my boyfriend’ when introducing Ian, so what is he exactly?

“Good to finally meet you, man,” Ian holds out his hand.

“Likewise,” Calum makes sure his grip is tight, but so is Ian’s. “Help yourselves to drinks from the coolers and kitchen. Pizza and wings should be coming soon.”

The pang in Calum’s chest only grows as the night progresses. He’s not quite sure what to make of Ian except that he and Indie are very comfortable with each other. When Calum is in ear shot they’re always flirting and touching each other.

“Sooo…” Luke drawls sidling next to Calum. “He’s that guy from her Instagram, right?”

“Yup.”

“Are he and Indie dating?”

“No idea,” Calum’s voice is clipped. He takes a drink of his white claw. The pang keeps getting sharper, his fingers are twitching for a cigarette and now he really wants some weed.

“Are you all right?”

Calum watches Ian come up behind Indie with another drink for her and he smacks her ass then proceeds to rub her back. Indie smiles up at him taking the cup.

“Yeah, I’m all right. We’re just friends,” Calum sighs.

When the party dwindled down, it was only Ashton, Michael, Luke, Andy, Sarah,Indie and Ian left sitting around the firepit. The conversation transitions from topic to topic that are mainly centered on Indie and finding out more about her. Just as Calum suspected, she’s very cryptic in her responses and that makes him smile. Calum’s sitting across the way from her and her legs are resting on Ian’s lap. Ian’s hands are rubbing at her calves.

Calum tells himself it doesn’t bother him.

Somehow the conversation turned to sex, which isn’t all that uncommon for their group but Calum was shooting daggers at Ashton because he didn’t want Indie to feel uncomfortable. As always, she surprised him and she was asking her own questions. Everyone answered her question of what their first time was like and they were all great stories of embarrassing moments.

When it came for her to answer, Calum sat up a little straighter in his chair.

“I was nineteen, wasn’t expecting it to happen at all. And you’re always told ‘oh, it’s this magical moment! You’ll be changed forever!’ but it literally lasted two or three minutes and I was like, ‘that’s it?’” she giggles. “I didn’t feel changed at all.”

“Two minutes?” Michael laughs. “Was it his first time too?”

“Hey, in my defense I’ve wanted to do it with her for a long time and when it finally happened…I lost control,” Ian smiles. “That tends to happen with Indie.”

Calum’s ears feel hot and it’s not from the fire. He ignores Luke’s quick glance to him from the bit of information that Ian was the first guy Indie had sex with.

“And we were also in your parent’s living room,” Indie giggles some more.

“All right, so now the next question…most rounds in one night?” Ashton asks lighting up another joint.

Calum wants to strangle him.

“What the hell is with all the sex talk, mate?” he finally asks trying to play it off as nonchalant, but the way Luke and Michael fidget, he knows it didn’t sound that way. No one else seems to notice, if Indie did he doesn’t know because he doesn’t dare look at her now.

“It’s a beautiful thing. It brings people closer by being open about it,” Ashton rests his ankle on his knee.

Calum snorts and shakes his head crossing his arms. He shakes his leg in annoyance.

Everyone says one or two rounds with little stories with each one. Michael made everyone laugh when he said one and a half.

“I was super drunk and it finally caught up with me and…yeah, I fell asleep,” Michael chortles. His eyes are heavy from drinking.

“That poor girl,” Andy says.

“I married her, so you know she’s the one,” Michael smiles.

“Where are Crystal and Sierra? I was looking forward to meeting them, too,” Indie says.

“They’re both at some fashion expo,” Luke explains. “We’ll all get together; they want to meet you too.”

Then fashion is the next topic of conversation until Ashton opens his mouth again. The weed must have set him off in a very inquisitive buzz.

“Indie, you didn’t answer the round's question.”

“I don’t want to be judged,” she holds up her hands in defense.

“This is a judgment free zone, this is a safe space, c’mon,” Ashton smiles lazily.

Indie looks at each person individually, except Calum before she answers.

“Three times,” she sighs, staring into the fire.

There’s a collective ‘woah’ around the group and sounds of approval. She tries to hide her smile but fails and ends up covering her face.

“Damn, that dude’s got stamina,” Michael says.

“It was a fun night,” Ian smirks while taking a drink of his beer. Indie smacks him in the shoulder and that earns even more of a reaction from the group.

They all want to know details and context, but Calum is seething. He really wants to get up and leave because he doesn’t want to hear anymore, but he knows that will cause more questions.

He remains silent for the rest of the night thinking about everything and questioning everything. He wants to know if Indie and Ian are dating and he wants to know why it matters to him so much. It really shouldn’t and that just makes him angrier.

He’s glad his friends are getting along with Indie, but he wishes it weren’t in this type of context.

When everyone had left, Calum was stuffing plates and cups in a large trash bag then he was going to light up a joint in hopes that would help calm his mind and rid his thoughts of seeing Ian and Indie together. He doesn’t even want to think about what they’re doing right now.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

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dennou-translations · 4 years

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Violet Evergarden Booklet 1

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That day was a special one for me, but to the rest of the world, this was not the case.

Ann Magnolia and Her Nineteenth Birthday

There was a number of things I had to do on the special day called today.

I would wake up in the morning and check the weather. As if a tale were beginning, I would turn the curtains over and look outside the window.

The radiant daylight shone on my eyes. Today was sunny. Knowing that made me happy. That I had woken up enveloped in sunshine. That I didn’t have to worry about my letter getting drenched in rain. It was almost as if the truth of these facts was blessing the day.

——I’m happy.

Very happy.

I didn’t usually say this, but I felt like saying it today, so I whispered as I laid back down, “Good morning.”

Husky with wake, my voice echoed through the quiet bedroom. I wandered around in search for someone to have a conversation with from the words “good morning”. However, I couldn’t find anyone to hear them, so they pointlessly vanished somewhere.

If you were just by yourself, words would die as soon as they were born. I knew that as the truth of this world. Like flowers that withered without changing colors, like small birds that couldn’t endure the coldness of midwinter, my words would promptly die. After all, words were tools for people to communicate their intentions. So if there was no other party, they would all but die. That was evident.

There was no one who would reply to me with a “good morning”. There was no one in this house that would do a morning greeting, so if anyone were to say that this much was obvious, it sure was. But in my memories, someone whose voice I had already forgotten would return my words. In a warm and soft voice that was probably how my mother sounded, they would be returned to me.

“Good morning, Ann.”

——Good morning.

“Today is a special day, huh.”

——I know; I’d been counting them with my fingers.

“Your long-awaited birthday.”

With a nod, I stood up.

Today, I was turning nineteen. Twelve years had passed since I had been left all by myself when I was seven years old. I reflected thoroughly upon that reality alone and proudly.

I left my bedroom still wearing a negligee, heading to the spiral staircase. There were portraits hanging in rows from the staircase’s wall.

“My, you’re going outside dressed like this just because you’re at home?”

Decorated with pictures of family members, the wall used to be terrifying for me when I was a child, but it became less so after my mother was added to them. I would go up and down those stairs countless times every day, but the only spot that I would end up directing my gaze to for a few seconds was the portrait of my mother and my childhood self.

If, by any chance, there was strength to the thing called “love”, I thought, if there was a force residing within love, wouldn’t this image start moving one day, since it was the only one I looked at as if I were yearning for something?

I would end up embracing such fantasies.

“I won’t change, no matter how much you stare at me. By the way, doesn’t my complexion look a little bad in this portrait? I should have had more paint put over it.”

Of course, it was just a fabrication.

Having come down the stairs, I went to the front entrance, its door a little worn-out. I should call a repairer. The house was a living being just like me, and since it was already quite old, it was always broken somewhere.

“I also want you to tend to the garden. When was the last time you held a broom?”

As I came outside, I could see this place’s whole scenery. There was nothing but lush grassland and tree-lined roads. The idyllic sight was awfully boring, but above that, it was beautiful, so if you made a frame with your fingers, you would immediately have a scenic picture. In this entire area, there were no other houses in sight. Of course. This territory was under the control of the Magnolias, hence this view belonged to me, the family head.

As long as I didn’t sell or give it away, this landscape would never change. And, same as the previous family heads, I didn’t wish for it to change. Neither did I wish to leave this place. Even if I was all by myself.

“Ann, let’s take a look inside the mailbox.”

I took a look inside the mailbox. Perhaps because it was still early in the morning, there was nothing in it yet.

“It’ll surely be coming soon.”

Today was the day when I, Ann Magnolia, was born. Every year on my birthday, I would get letters from my late mother. Letters from my mother, who by now had become a portrait, would be delivered to me.

“There is no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Milady.”

To be precise, letters with my mother’s feelings blown into them and ghostwritten by an Auto-Memories Doll would be delivered to me. It was a strange story, but a true one.

“Auto-Memories Doll”. Long had passed ever since this name caused a stir.

The creator was an authority in the field of mechanical dolls, Professor Orlando. His wife, Molly, was a novelist, and all had begun with the posterior loss of her eyesight. He then invented a machine to perform ghostwriting for his beloved wife and named it Auto-Memories Doll. Nowadays, people who worked as ghostwriters were also called Auto-Memories Dolls.

When I was seven, my mother, who was plagued with a serious illness, summoned a beautiful blue-eyed Auto-Memories Doll to our manor. She made her write several letters and hired a postal company to deliver them to me even after her death. She had been secretly planning out a few decades worth of birthday messages for her beloved daughter.

The person who had made this request was an oddball, but the ones who had accepted the job were quite odd themselves. Had they not imagined that someone would abandon it at some point? Had they sealed the contract for such a heavy, troublesome work without any refusal because they were horribly bad at their business, or was it because they were too nice? Having grown into a creditable lady and come to understand the world to a certain extent, I would ponder about such things. Surely, it was because they were nice. Thanks to them, even though I didn’t have a single relative now, at least on my birthday I could recall what being loved by someone felt like.

Just like that, I stood fidgety in front of the mailbox. Closing my eyes, I cleared off the dust on the box of my memories.

——I remember. That she had come around. That she would be over there, quietly writing letters. I remember the figure of that person and of my smiling mother. Surely, until I died...

That few-days’ time had been seared into my mind. Back then, my... Back then, Ann Magnolia’s frizzy hair was still short, and she was selfish and pretended to be taller. She was a helpless child. A very young one. How old she was? Seven years old. An age where one would still long for their mother. Her mother was the center of the world. If her mother died, she wouldn’t even be able to breathe. She was that kind of child. She was aware that her emotions were unstable and that she tended to act a little rashly.

Most people would treat someone like me nicely, and that was it. People who had their eyes on my fortune attempted to get close to me, but once they noticed that I had no intention to let them do so, they never showed their faces to me again.

That person—that person... Violet Evergarden. That Auto-Memories Doll was a bit different from other people, I thought...

Whenever I wondered what was so different about her, I would find myself thinking.

Back then, Ann Magnolia had fallen in love with a mysterious girl who had come around all of a sudden. It was a little girl’s romantic love out of adoration. She both hated and liked the Auto-Memories Doll who had come around out of the blue and stolen her time with her mother.

——What was it that I liked about her?

She was a taciturn and unsociable. A silent porcelain doll. She seemed extremely adult-like. But looking back, she often reacted like a child who knew nothing. Even when I gave her dolls, she didn’t know how to play. Neither did she have any knowledge of how to solve riddles. Even when I made her touch bugs, she never ran away like my mother or our maid. Whenever I invited her to join hands and spin around, we would do it to no end.

“Fufu...”

She was a weird person. Yes, a weird one.

Children would look at adults and measure them by whether they were scary or foolish, would be their allies or enemies, would give them candy or not, and other such things. They would stare very, very fixatedly and judge the grown-ups.

She... that beautiful Auto-Memories Doll... Violet Evergarden was not an adult.

——Yes, she was... how should I put it? She was Violet Evergarden.

Which was why I had snuggled up to her, the same type of person as myself, just like two cats nestling close to each other, I thought.

She was a beautiful child. A beautiful beast. I found her eccentric self to be cool, so I liked her.

Where was she now and what was she doing, I wondered.

I was turning nineteen, but back in the day, she must have been younger than I am now. For her to have prosthetic arms, it wasn’t hard to imagine what had happened to her at the time, when the war had just ended. But surely, there was no doubt that her life had been full of many more ups and downs than the story I had in mind.

Did she not express her emotions enough because she was carrying some sort of wound in her heart? She was such a beautiful person, so she must have won over the heart of some wonderful person by now...

I shook my head left and right. I mustn’t have unjust suspicions of her. I shouldn’t prod into how I was back then – into the Ann Magnolia of back then – and taint it. Even if it was just me with myself, I mustn’t do that. Because all of the joys and sorrows from that time belonged to the old me, who had endured those days. Having become an adult, I shouldn’t have any say over the mental landscape of my old self, as a third party.

Having grown up, I observed my own land, which spread out endlessly. The scent of gently swaying grass and flowers, the chattering of birds, the clouds that moved slowly in the blue sky. It felt like they would be here just like that for a hundred more years.

“It’s not coming, huh. Let’s go eat breakfast.”

Since the postman wasn’t showing up, I had no choice but go back into the manor.

I had been working at home lately. I used to go outside and enjoy the world when I was a student, but I realized that, in the end, I liked being in my house. Maybe this was a Magnolia bloodline thing.

As for my from-home job, I worked with legal counseling. When I was little, I had experienced disputes amongst my own relatives over me and my assets. That was the reason why, if I had to give any.

My mother had left me with a talented legal advisor. A person of outstanding character, who still concerned himself with me even now. As a young child, I excelled at catching insects that I had never seen before, but I didn’t have the means to oppose to the people who wanted to steal this land from me one way or another.

I had started off working at the city’s legal information center, introduced to me by the legal advisor, who had taken me in, and only recently had I become independent. Living in the city had made me realize many things. That there were many people in this world who weren’t protected like me. And that this wasn’t something those people themselves wanted, but things had turned out in such a way due to the environment they were in.

The ascension of the ghostwriting business had a similar background. Children would be made to work like adults, unable to go to school, so when they grew up and had to sign any documents, they couldn’t even write their own names.

People like that, who had been raised in environments where no one helped them, weren’t a rarity. I had heard that the literacy rate was currently rising, but it would still take a long time for this to become something unusual.

Just like with ghostwriting, one could become somebody’s ally through the law. It was especially necessary for children who had been thrown out like me and younglings who were about to enter the world of adults, I believed. Because they could earn completely different futures as a result if they acquired knowledge.

“The law is a weapon,” my legal advisor would say. I agreed with that. My property had been protected by this weapon many times. Some people would say that education was the weapon, but the situations for putting it to use were too limited. Weapons exerted their true value exactly when you had to protect yourself from falling victim to unjust acts or insults.

If possible, I wanted to be someone who could protect others. I wanted to tell people who didn’t know what to do and had become incapable of even walking on their own, “It’s all right; I’ll be your ally”. Because I wanted someone to do that for me back when I was alone.

My reason for choosing law was rooted in this kind of self-righteous way of thinking.

Since I worked from home, I didn’t earn much. To be honest, people would think that being a professional was a pastime for a landowning wealthy lady. I was fine with that.

The people who came to visit me in this remote place were generally in critical situations and had nothing. Those who had something would go to the city. They would go to the city, bow their heads to some famous person, be served a fine brand of tea... and have a graceful conversation while drinking it.

If I could, I wanted to get close to people, just like her. Just like the Auto-Memories Doll who had told me on that day that it was okay to cry. Even if for self-satisfaction.

Speaking of which, I thought as I checked the calendar. Today was my birthday, so I intended to wait for the postman the whole day and hadn’t scheduled any appointments, but a client was coming tomorrow. I should clean up the reception room at least a little.

“Hey, Ann. It is your birthday, so how about going outside with your friends and having a meal with them?”

I had to sweep the floor, take the garbage off the carpet and dust the dirt on the furniture.

“Even just eating something tasty is enough, Ann.”

Right, I should bake some sweets to serve to the costumer tomorrow. It could also be used as celebration for my birthday.

“Ann, aren’t you lonely all by yourself?”

If I was certain, that person had eaten the sweets I baked when we first met with relish. He had a sweet tooth.

As I recalled the figure of that young entrepreneur eating, looking embarrassed and delighted, a smile surfaced naturally. Out of the people that I was currently engaging with, he might be the one whose visit I looked forward to the most. I did think that men were frowny and sullen creatures, but he was adorable.

I rolled up my sleeves with an “all right” and headed to the kitchen.

“Delivery.”

As the front door’s bell rang and the voice of a visitor ensued, I frantically flung away my bowl and whisk and ran. This is what happens when you distractedly make sweets for about an hour. I was covered in flour and looking unbecoming, but there was no helping it.

“Yes, I’m coming.”

I opened the door in high spirits, and standing there was a postman wearing the uniform of the city’s post office, which I was familiar with. I was disappointed enough that even I myself would think it was a bit childish of me. The other didn’t see my facial expression as he requested my signature for the express delivery without looking at me, but I wound up having an impolite attitude.

——It wasn’t the CH Postal Company.

My mother’s birthday messages were being kept by the CH Postal Company, a mail company that had its main office located in Leiden – the capital of Leidenschaftlich, a southernmost military nation. Therefore, if a different company had come, then the mail wasn’t from my mother.

“Thank you very much.”

I had received three packages. One was a table clock from my legal advisor. The others were accessories and a shawl that were trending in the city from my friends.

There were people getting married and having children upon turning nineteen. All of my closest friends had been quick to marry. Both my opinion that secluding themselves in their homes was a waste in this era of professional women and my envy at the fact that they had found themselves a partner in an early stage of their lives coexisted in the depths of my mind.

“You don’t have to hurry; if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to.”

Having lost my mother, with this vast land and this manor of excessively elegant exterior in my possession... I couldn’t think that having a family wouldn’t be a good thing.

——Family... family... family, huh?

Did I want a family? Did I really? Those genuine questions surfaced in my mind first-thing.

Welcoming a family would mean welcoming that person’s life. It was an extremely heavy choice. “In health and sickness,” people would lightheartedly say. I believed there were actually few people who properly understood it.

My friends who had married. The people who walked around the city. Lovers and family members from all over the world – everyone. Did they all truly understand? They only looked on the happy side, so could they endure it when a sad scenario arrived upon them? Wouldn’t they end up thinking that not loving the other person would have been better?

“Human beings are creatures that love others in pursuit of happiness, Ann.”

In my experience, since I had seen off the person who was most important to me, the truth was that I didn’t want to go through it ever again. Being told to do it one more time was too hard. Even twenty years later, painful things would be painful.

I brought my consciousness back to reality.

Colorful ribbons, extravagant wrappings and wonderful gifts. As my social disposition was coming to a slight halt, those people were irreplaceable to me. I had to write thank-you notes right away. For these kinds of things, the faster, the better. Because it conveyed sincerity.

I should go back to my bedroom and look for the stationery and envelopes. They were surely somewhere there.

“Ann.”

——Aah, but was it a pretty stationery?

Maybe I should choose a different one, fitting of these wonderful presents.

“Ann, listen.”

They were surely items that took a while to be picked, so I should respond to the other party’s feelings the same way. There were many things to be watchful of here. I had to do it quick. I had to do it soon.

“Please listen.”

Nobody else was going to do it; I was the one who had to. No matter what, I had to do it. I had to taste joy and sadness all by myself and end it fast. Because I was alone. Hurry. I had to hurry and do it.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t move.

“Ann.”

I was in the middle of making sweets, and writing thank-you notes required some preparation. Above all, I couldn’t calm down until my mother’s letter arrived.

Giving several reasons, I made up several excuses not to move.

“Ann... it’s okay.”

I suddenly felt exhausted. Everything became a bother. Even though hands were covered in flour and I was still wearing an apron, I lay on the couch, rolled into fetal position and scrunched down.

Although I had received such marvelous gifts, the feeling of happiness didn’t last. Even though it was something to be grateful for to the point I could be in a good mood the whole day, the feeling of happiness didn’t last. It didn’t last.

“Ann, it’s okay.”

Today was that kind of day.

“Ann, don’t force yourself; I’m sorry.”

——I’m sorry.

“Sorry...”

——I’m sorry.

“Ann, I’m sorry...”

To me, my birthday was...

“...for leaving you behind when you were so small.”

...not my day. It was my mother’s.

——Mom. Why? Just why? Why, Mom? Why did you die sooner than the mothers of the other kids? What is it that went wrong? Did the fact that I was born itself become a burden to you? If so, then I shouldn’t have been born.

I loved you, Mom. Did you know that? I liked you a whole, whole lot. Tired of hearing this? But you didn’t know it, right? Even if you knew, you probably didn’t understand how much I liked you. I’m sure you had no idea how much.

When I realized it, I had more time seeing you in a grave than otherwise. But you’re everywhere in our house. On the sofa that you often sat on. In the music that you enjoyed. On the bed that still smells like you. In myself, who resembles you more and more with each day.

Mom, Mom, Mom – you keep reminding me of how much I loved you. When I was little, you were the world itself.

Mom. You loved me. I know that. But I loved you too. I was the one who... I was... I was... I was the one who...

Aah, Mom. Mom, there are so many things I want to tell you. But if I can say it, there’s just one thing.

Mom, you died without knowing how much I loved you, right?

I loved you much more than you could’ve imagined. I really, really suffered when you died. Enough that I couldn’t breathe.

People often say that time heals all wounds. But I really hate that saying. Rather than things being solved, we forget about them, don’t we? People’s voices, facial expressions, gestures – we forget these kinds of things. Yet I remember them in unexpected times. Like, “Oh, yeah, Mom used to like this”. “Oh, yeah, Mom used to hate that”. And then I blame myself vehemently for forgetting them. Like, “How could you have forgotten? She was your whole world”. Like, “How could you have forgotten? She was your only family”. The loop of agony has no end.

I adored you, Mom. I loved you. I loved you, so for just as much love as I had for you, it feels like my heart will break. It feels like my heart will break every time my birthday comes around. Feels like it will break. It’s painful and there’s no helping it.

Tears slip down my cheeks as I laid on my side. I was looking forward to today so much that I didn’t know what to do with myself, and yet I wound up crying again this year. I would’ve been great if I could welcome it with a smile.

A birthday was a special day.

It was nothing to the rest of the world, just an ordinary day, but it was a special one for me. Because... Because it was a day when I could feel Mom coming back to me. I looked forward to it so much that I couldn’t help myself, but at the same time, I was also helplessly sad. Because I felt my mother’s absence more than anything. Because the truth that she wasn’t here was thrust onto me.

Destiny spoke to me. Either that or God did. “Hey, your mother’s already dead. How long you gonna be crying? Stand up. If you’re alive, stand up.”

Since the world was so merciless, all I could do was nod at those words and say, “Yes, yes, true.”

By entrusting my body to hecticness, I was able to remain as someone who could stand on her own feet, just like Destiny and God wanted. I normally didn’t feel loneliness. I didn’t cry. After all, twelve years had already passed. It was weird to cry like this on and on forever. It was weird, right? I wasn’t a kid anymore. I shouldn’t cry too much. That would make me a bad girl. A girl wasn’t suitable to be the family head of the Magnolia household. I had to become a person who my mother could be proud of from within that portrait.

Wasn’t that right? I couldn’t prove the worth of my existence by doing anything else.

But on this day when I was aware that my mother loved me, I was no good. No good. I’d turn into a mess. The seven-year-old Ann Magnolia would come back to me. She’d say it all. She’d end up saying it. Always, always, always. She’d say what I was holding back from saying.

“I’m lonely”, that is.

I had as many ways of spending my birthday as I had birthdays. Surely, there were millions of people in the world whose birthday was today. How were all of them spending it? Were they spending it in a fulfilling way? There definitely were also people who lived their lives either not knowing when their birthday was or forgetting about it.

So I wasn’t miserable. Nor was I comparing myself with them. That wasn’t it. Because there were certainly people somewhere around the world who were feeling as lonely as me.

There was another thing that I had learned during the time I worked in the city. That loneliness wasn’t something only I had. Many people would come to the law firm and ask for advice regarding their troubles. Everyone was burdened with problems of their own. And everyone was a bit lonely in some aspect. It wasn’t just me, so I didn’t feel lonely.

That person too, and that one, and that other one. Everybody was sad in one way or another.

“I have to get up.”

I had stopped doing what I would do by accident – stopped throwing myself into a sea of sadness. The sea of sadness in my head was a real nuisance, yet it was also comfortable as it enveloped my body in gentle waves of self-pity. But I shouldn’t go too far. Or else I wouldn’t be able to stand up again. It wasn’t like food and sweets would materialize from my sadness.

I counted the things I had to do. Bake sweets. Clean up. I had a number of torn aprons, which I would remake into rags. And then... And then...

“Madam Magnolia, are you home?”

A real-life happening immediately pulled me out of my reverie. I ran toward the front door, from where the voice had come. As I opened the door with much vigor while making extremely improper heavy-feet noises, I found two visitors.

“Hum?”

One of them was... Aah, I was waiting for you. It was a postman wearing the CH Postal Company uniform. He was holding under his arm a letter and a package with what was most likely the gift that my mother had arranged for today.

“Aah, excuse me. Please go first.”

The other was the customer who had made an appointment reservation for tomorrow. A stray young entrepreneur. His finely tailored clothes were easy to recognize as something not order-made and that he didn’t like but was wearing regardless.

Had he mistaken the appointment day?

“Erm, then...”

The two had bumped onto each other at the front gate and both had some business with me, so they were probably conceding the turn to one another. Having been granted it, the CH Postal Company’s postman stood before me, politely giving me the letter and present with a slightly tensed-up countenance.

“This is the CH Postal Company. I have come to bring your delivery... You might be already tired of hearing this vocal message so many times, but happy birthday this year too, Madam Magnolia.”

That was a postman I had never seen before. It was a different person from last year.

“T-Tired, you say... There’s no way I would ever be.”

Still, the fact he was saying these lines meant that the demands commissioned by my mother were being properly kept and protected by that company. That was it.

“Thank you very much. For every year, truly... truly. Please tell this to your chairman too.”

“Y-Yes! Our president is the kind of person that gets very happy at inputs from the clients, so I’ll make sure to tell him!”

I had never met the president of the CH Postal Company, but for someone so young to be talking about him in such a familiar-sounding way, he had to be a wonderful person.

“I’m taking it.”

I signed the acceptance document. The postman laughed as if relieved. Also relieved, I finally looked seriously at him. He was a very young postman. Perhaps from about the same generation as me. The freckled boy looked even younger when laughing.

“I became in charge of it this year. It’s a big area, so I ended up getting a bit lost... I made you wait a lot, didn’t I?”

“Eh, no, no.”

“But you came running as if you were eagerly waiting for it.”

“Yes.”

Recalling the surprised faces of the two young men the moment I had opened the door, I trembled with shame. I was supposed to behave elegant and beautifully as the head of the Magnolia family. Yet I was covered in flour, my hair was disheveled because I had been lying down and I had showed up with footsteps that sounded like the ones of a large man.

Touching my cheeks, which were most likely growing red, I said, “I apologize for showing you an embarrassing sight... No matter what, I always wind up restless on this day.”

“Absolutely not. I’m the one who is sorry for coming late. I have already perfectly memorized the way, so please treat me well next year too.” The postman bowed with a “well, then” and ran toward a parked motorcycle.

After seeing him off, I directed my gaze at the other visitor that had been waiting for me. He, too, slowly looked my way.

“Hello.”

The morning sunshine had disappeared, a dazzling midday light filling up for it. It seemed that quite some time had passed while I was sulking on the couch. With a season of fresh green colors as the background, he was supposed to be a foreign body for me... and for this world of mine, yet he blended appallingly well into it.

“Hello.” My voice sounded a little shrill. “Isn’t there any flour on my face?” As I said this while rubbing my cheeks with the sleeve of my dress, he took a handkerchief from his jacket and handed it to me.

Not minding me as I stiffened up in shock, he said with an earnest attitude, “There is, right here.”

“Ah, all right.”

“And here too.”

“I’m sorry. I was making sweets...”

Wiping myself with the neatly folded handkerchief, it almost seemed like I had gone back to being a child. It was the second time today that my cheeks were dyed red.

“Well, what is your matter...?”

“Aah, that’s right. I was nearby and... hum, I heard from Mr. Robert, the one who introduced you to me, that it was your birthday today, so... though it’s presumptuous of me, I was thinking about celebrating it...”

Robert was the law advisor who had been protecting me since my childhood. Now that he had mentioned it, I remembered that he was introduced to me by Robert. The budget wasn’t compatible with the case, so it had been passed over to me.

——“Nearby”?

Finding a strange point in a part of his story, I said timidly, “This whole area... is my land... You had business near here?”

Silence.

“You’re also seeing Mr. Robert even though you’re working with me...?”

He raised a hand my way as if to ask me to wait and averted his face, looking embarrassed. Had I said anything bad?

“I take it back.”

“All right.”

“I lied... I wanted, hum, to spend time with you somehow...”

“Haah...”

Perhaps having become unable to look at me in the eyes, he kept his face turned away and continued speaking to the direction of the day after tomorrow, “Mr. Robert is a teatime friend from a café that I already frequented... He introduced you to me as a favor... And I heard from him the other day that today was your birthday. Also, I did not just happen to come nearby. It’s impossible to come here without a car or carriage. I do not have much money, so I ended up walking the way here. But it was no coincidence; I came here because I had an objective.”

As I asked, “What’s the objective”, he turned over the palm that had been telling me to wait and showed it to me. That “it’s you”.

I was perplexed. This kind of thing hadn’t happened in my life very often. When it did, it was usually people aiming for my fortune, so I vaguely wondered if he was the same as them.

“Want to come in? If it’s just drinking tea together, then...”

In any case, as the head of the Magnolia family, I had to entertain the guest. After this thought worked its way to me, an alarm sounded in my head that he might deem this as an invitation. That wasn’t my intention, so what should I do if he believed it was?

——What’s up with me? I don’t know if I’m happy or scared.

Aah, my heartbeats were so loud. My cheeks were so hot it felt like they were burning.

——Anyway, I have to say something.

“Hum.”

As I hesitated to speak, he shook his head. “Ah, no. I will have to come again tomorrow, so I’m going home. I have already accomplished my objective.”

“Is that so?” I was a tad out of tune. A little – very relieved.

I observed him while he didn’t try to look at me even a bit. His hands were trembling. Even though he gave off an easygoing impression, he was the type of person who couldn’t hide what was inside.

“I really just came here because I wanted to wish you happy birthday. Just before coming, I hesitated a lot on whether to go today or not... I also don’t have... any presents worthy of a lady like you, so I wanted to at least say these words.”

That sentence surprised my already stunned self even more. “At least these words”, he said. Were there any words that could make his goodwill more obvious?

“I’m sorry. I should have at least arranged something for you, right? Really, a broke man like me showing up out of nowhere... I’m sorry...”

“No, I don’t want material things that much... I prefer this feeling of... wanting to celebrate because it’s my birthday... much more...”

The words cut off midway. What happened to me? Right now, pain and joy were squeezing my chest tightly. It was suffocating.

The easily perceivable love of this person in front of me, as well as his kindness, his sincerity and all these other soft and warm things were appearing in the lonely parts of me and causing me to feel dizzy.

“Ann, can you hear me?”

I had to regain my sanity; I would surely be sober again tomorrow. I shouldn’t open my heart so easily now.

“Ann, please, listen.”

Because the world was cruel. Even if I fell in love with him, sad things were bound to happen.

“Okay? If you’re listening...”

It might be a calculated love; he could just be pretending and was actually a horrible person.

No, I had to wonder about that. It was indeed true that he came the way here on foot. After all, his shoes were dirty with mud. There was grass sticking to it as if he gone through an animal trail.

“If you’re listening, grab onto it.”

Aah, Mom. From now on, I would surely keep questioning you over and over during times like these. Asking you questions in my mind. “Mom, is this correct? Is this the right path,” I would ask. Because you were the only one who had given me love without second intentions. So please, give me an answer.

“Believe in yourself, Ann. Don’t be afraid of love.”

I was sure that the vision of my mother had whispered this to me.

I reached out with my hand. I reached out and grabbed the hem of his jacket.

“I’m going to bake sweets now. Today is my birthday, but I don’t have any plans, so if you’d like, why don’t we eat the baked sweets together outside? I don’t need anything. If you’re going to give me something, then I want just a bit of time for us to celebrate my birthday together,” I told him.

“Thanks.” He was not unkind to my wheat flour-covered hand, grasping it while his face went bright red. “That’d be great,” he said three or so times. The phrase “I like sweet foods” was probably said five times.

I... I found it so funny that I laughed.

That day was a special one for me, but to the rest of the world, this was not the case. But I put in a little effort. I tried making it special on my own. From this point onward, I would definitely keep doing that. I would. I was all alone in this manor. But I was the most special girl in the world to a certain person. It was okay to indulge myself at least on my birthday. I thought this once again reading my mother’s letter later.

Ann, congratulations on your nineteenth birthday. I can’t imagine how you’re doing at nineteen years of age. I really wonder how you’re doing. Are you well? Aren’t you going hungry? I wonder if you became a wonderful lady. Aah, I want to see it. I truly wanted to see it. You have no idea how much I love you, do you? You see, Mom loves the nineteen-year-old you. I’ll love you even as you turn a hundred years old. I can’t tell you face-to-face, so I’m properly writing it here. I love you. No matter what anyone says, I love you. You have the right to be loved. My Ann, be free. My Ann, laugh with joy. My Ann, be happy. My Ann. Don’t be afraid of love.

—From Mom

“There’s no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Milady.”

#violet evergarden #veedit #fyeahvioletevergarden #kyoani #kyoto animation #ann magnolia #clara magnolia #akatsuki kana #takase akiko #novel #my translation #violet evergarden booklet

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plumoh · 3 years

Text

[SK8] at all times, at all sides

Rating: T

Word count: 7409

Summary: Kaoru is shaped by the choices he makes and the people surrounding him. And through the years, Kojirou was there in one way or another.

Note: AO3 link. This was posted a while after Kaoru’s birthday, as a character study of sorts, birthday by birthday. I make the assumption that in the present day, Kaoru and Kojirou are 27-28 years old.There is a brief mention of alcohol at age 20, and Kaoru is a bit drunk at age 26.

15.

Kaoru gets two additional piercings on his left ear on his fifteenth birthday.

The first one, at what is considered a normal place for an earring in the middle of the earlobe, was done as an impulsive act of brashness to show off to his friends at school at the beginning of the year. He likes the attention. The family name attached to him makes people gasp when they see him with holes in his ear, but he would be lying if he said it didn’t bring him some sort of satisfaction. It’s kind of ridiculous and entirely too stiff an attitude to be offended by some nails stuck into someone else’s skin, as if it changes who he fundamentally is. Besides, piercings are cool.

So Kaoru gets two additional piercings, a helix piercing and another one in the earlobe, and Kojirou whistles.

“You sure your parents won’t cut off your entire ear for that?” he asks, his gaze appraising Kaoru’s new look.

“I’ll live with only one ear, then,” Kaoru answers, shrugging. “What do you think? I look cool, right?”

Kaoru gestures to his ear, grinning and looking at Kojirou expectantly. He knows that he must be acting like a child who got permission to eat a second candy after dinner, but it’s his birthday and he feels he can be excited for what is, essentially, a new approach to his lifestyle. He paid for these piercings with his own pocket money (and money earned through foolish bets and challenges, and he’s thankful that most skaters are stupid).

Kojirou hums, his face pinched in intense concentration. Kaoru rolls his eyes.

“That’s a yes or no question, Kojirou.”

“Let me give you a complete review of your new fashion style, impatient bastard,” Kojirou says.

“I don’t need a complete review! They’re just piercings!”

Kojirou always takes forever when asked to give his opinion on any topic, be it about his younger brother’s latest baseball game or the best suited color for a piece of garment Kaoru’s mother has decided to wear for an important meeting. It’s utterly unnecessary and a waste of time—Kaoru isn’t asking Kojirou to write an essay about his piercings.

“Just answer the question,” Kaoru says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, if you like your piercings so much, maybe show them off more?” Kojirou sighs. “I don’t know, you have more hair than any human being is supposed to have. It hides the piercings.”

Kaoru snorts. “Complain to my mother about that.”

But Kaoru entertains the idea.

16.

Keeping his hair long is a simple matter of preference. There is no rule in his family stating that its members should have a specific length of hair, so why not? Very few boys and men have it this long, and Kojirou always asks him why he bothers taking care of such a useless physical feature when all it does is getting into his way when he skates. Kaoru admits he does have a point, but he likes his hair.

Kaoru is currently tying it into a ponytail, lazily skating on the sidewalk around their neighborhood. Kojirou is skating at his side eating an entire soda flavored Garigari-kun popsicle, shoving it into his mouth and crunching into the ice because he likes having brain freeze.

“Hey, it’s your birthday next week,” Kojirou announces, like it’s the most thrilling event of the week. “Did you plan something? Wanna go explore some new skating areas?”

Kaoru flips his hair over his shoulder and shrugs. Kojirou is looking at him curiously, almost intently, and that makes Kaoru raise an eyebrow.

“Nothing special, but it’s also on the same day as some renown calligrapher from Tokyo visiting our studio. So yeah.”

“All the way from Tokyo? That sounds important.”

“Maybe. I didn’t really pay attention.”

Simply thinking about all the formal procedures that will take place in his house and the fact he will have to be on his “best behavior, please, Kaoru” is pissing him off. He’s not interested in hearing about the works of this supposedly famous and talented calligrapher bestowing upon their modest family his knowledge and wise advice. Kaoru doesn’t even know why he still attends the calligraphy lessons when he’s pretty sure he’ll go into computer science or something. His parents are always on his case about maintaining his posture and improving his strokes every day, and at some point Kaoru started obeying to make their noisy demands stop. He doesn’t genuinely hate the art itself; he simply thinks that his time is better spent elsewhere. What does calligraphy have when computers can do much more fascinating stuff?

Kojirou is nibbling at the popsicle stick, eyeing him with that critical look he often gets when he considers throwing paper balls at Kaoru in class, or when he thinks that Kaoru needs a snack to calm down, like some fucking animal he’s trying to tame—Kaoru hates that somehow, food always works.

“You want to ditch?” Kojirou asks as neutrally as possible, but Kaoru hears the sympathy in his voice. Which is appreciated, but unnecessary.

“No, I was actually thinking of scandalizing my parents by cutting my hair and having it cropped short,” Kaoru says with a half-feral grin. “Like, strands of hair sticking everywhere and impossible to make it look presentable.”

Kojirou almost stumbles on his skateboard, even though it’s a straight line and he wasn’t even pushing with his feet on the concrete.

“What?! But you never shut up about your hair!”

“You fucking liar, I only ever say I like having it long!”

“Yeah, that still makes it stupid! Why would you cut your hair if you like it long?”

“Because hair grows again?”

“Not as fast as you’d think, if you even thought about it before blurting out you want to get a bowl cut.”

“Disheveled and rowdy haircut, not a bowl cut, you idiot!”

They make a turn at the corner of the street, expertly avoiding a kid walking her dog and dodging the woman carrying groceries behind her, not without getting scolded for skating in residential areas (or skating at all) but those are words that go in one ear and exit in the other. Kaoru smiles to himself and kicks into the ground to get more speed, jumps and flips his board in the air before landing on it again with minimal risk of smashing his face in the concrete. He lifts a fist in the air with a whooping cry.

“Oh hey, that was a good one!” he exclaims, giving Kojirou a radiant grin.

“You mastered this trick long ago, why are you so excited?” Kojirou grumbles.

“Because it felt nice, that’s all. Be happy about the small things in life, that’s what you keep saying.”

“Sometimes I feel you’re purposely throwing back my words at my face only when it’s convenient for you.”

“I always listen to you, even if it might come as a surprise.”

Kaoru laughs, spinning his board and continuing on a straight line, ahead of Kojirou. Today’s weather is pleasant and he can’t wait for the end of the school year at the end of the week to go skating all day. It will come with more calligraphy practice, but at least he will have time for his other hobbies too. And if he can’t focus on anything at home, he can still go to Kojirou’s place and bother him all day.

“Then don’t cut your hair!” Kojirou shouts, catching up to him.

The lines on Kojirou’s face are weird, all upset and a bit worried, and that’s not an expression Kaoru is used to see when they’re talking about haircuts, of all things. Maybe when they’re doing their geography homework or when they’ve spent one hour practicing tricks and got more bruises than actual results, but not hair.

“What’s up with you?” Kaoru asks, slowing down. “It’s just my hair. It’s a good prank.”

“You’re going to look like a bird’s nest for at least three months, you okay with that?” Kojirou retorts.

“That’s not the worst thing in existence. And if I recall, you told me last year I should show off my piercings more, so having short hair would effectively do that.”

Kojirou groans and drags a hand across his face, almost looking defeated.

“Just style it in a way that makes your piercings visible, then,” Kojirou adds. “You… have nice hair.”

Kaoru blinks. Kojirou looks straight ahead, his posture stiff, determined not to turn his head in Kaoru’s direction.

“I have nice hair,” Kaoru repeats.

“Yes.”

“You don’t want me to cut my hair because it looks nice?”

“Yes.”

“That might be the most honest compliment you’ve ever said to me.”

“Shut up, I’m never complimenting you ever again!”

Kojirou speeds up, but not before Kaoru catches a glimpse of his reddening ears. The situation is starting to make even less sense, but seeing Kojirou so flustered over nothing is piquing Kaoru’s interest and his lips stretch in a wide grin. Kaoru joins Kojirou in their less-than-recommended skating speed.

“Okay, but you’re being weird!” Kaoru shouts over the sound of their wheels scratching against the ground. “Was that an offer to style my hair?”

“I’m not talking to you,” Kojirou mutters.

“You’re the one who suggested it, you can’t drop the topic!”

It’s almost comical to see two teenagers loudly arguing about a pointless subject while skateboarding and avoiding any obstacles they come across, as if being on a board is the same as walking. Passersby shoot them quizzical looks and a lot of adults are clearly not approving their noise level.

They end up skating all the way to the playground near the elementary school of the neighborhood, where a few kids are playing while their parents are watching over them. There is a skating park farther away, but people are already using it and Kaoru doesn’t like skating with people not part of their crew unless he’s looking for a fight. So they keep skating around, at a lower speed because colliding with children won’t exactly look good on either of them.

“Fine, keep being stubborn, you asshole,” Kaoru grumbles. “I’ll get another piercing.”

Kojirou finally jerks his head towards Kaoru, his expression a lot less constipated and more curious. “On such a short notice?”

“I’ll find a way. And even if I can’t get it done before my birthday, it will still be infuriating for my parents.”

Kaoru taps at his lower lip, not missing the way Kojirou’s eyes follow the movement with rapt attention.

“I wanted to get a lip ring, anyway,” he says.

There is something simply enthralling in a lip ring—the light catches on it, and people are immediately in admiration when they see it. Not everyone has the guts to get one, after all.

Kojirou slowly nods, tearing his gaze away from Kaoru’s face.

“If you want,” he says. “I don’t see any problem with that.”

“You’re so weird today.” Kaoru rolls his eyes.

“You’re the weird one, obsessed with piercings.”

“You just wish you could be as cool as me. Race you to my home!”

“Damn it Kaoru, stop cheating!”

Kaoru ignores Kojirou and launches himself at full speed to make his skateboard pivot and turn around, going back from the way they came. Kojirou is still yelling at him.

Kaoru doesn’t manage to get his lip pierced before his birthday, but he does sweep the left side of his hair behind his head and keep it in place with a hair clamp, leaving his earrings in plain sight. To the calligrapher’s credit, upon seeing who the supposed Sakurayashiki heir is, he makes only the vaguest noise of shock before getting into business. Kaoru smiles all throughout the visit.

17.

Kaoru’s seventeenth birthday remains one of the most special days of his life.

He got gifts, snacks and high-fives from various people whom he cares more or less about (the crew bought a cake but Kaoru only got a thin slice of it because they are greedy bastards), while Kojirou bought him a book on AI that was way too expensive even if he has a part-time job salary (Kaoru wrestled him to the ground when he recognized the book).

Adam takes them skating in a place they’ve never explored before.

It’s beautiful. Exciting, captivating and alluring, making them use all their senses to turn at the right time, to ride down a hill without losing control, and to feel the full path reverberated through their bodies in shock waves. Skateboarding is fun, but this is on another level entirely—it’s like sliding on the edge of a cliff, giving heart palpitations but also an intoxicating feeling of a game that needs to be beaten, whose ending is all worth these efforts.

The three of them are skating as if wings sprouted on their back, uncaring of the world outside of their little bubble of thrills. Kaoru watches in fascination as Adam seems to fly across the track, smooth in his skating and unconcerned with the bumpy road. The wind seems to be an inconsequential factor in his descent in the slope, moving along with it and never straying far from the road. It’s subjugating, it’s beautiful, it’s freedom.

“Watch where you’re skating, idiot!” Kojirou yells right next to him, startling Kaoru out of his reverie.

Kaoru crouches low and makes a sharp turn, avoiding a rock that would have sent him sprawling. He straightens and keeps going at a controlled pace, glaring at Kojirou.

“I know what I’m doing!” he grunts.

“You almost smacked that wall with your face,” Kojirou points out with a glare of his own. “Stop getting distracted.”

“I’m not distracted,” Kaoru snaps back automatically.

But the look Kojirou is giving him is indescribable, so foreign on his face and even more so as it is directed at Kaoru. There is something brewing in the air and Kaoru doesn’t like it, doesn’t want a chasm opening between them because of a stupid argument, but he doesn’t even know what made Kojirou so irritable in the first place.

Adam is waiting for them at the end of the path, watching them arriving at a sullen pace with a raised eyebrow. Kaoru stops right in front of him and plasters a smile on his face, much more eager to talk about they’ve come here for.

“That’s an amazing place! Skating here is so fun, we can make a challenge out of a lot of things in this mountain.”

“Yes, the turns are different and there are many slopes that we need to be careful of,” Adam agrees, smiling. “I truly believe we can accomplish a lot, if we do it together. I want to create a special race here for skaters to push their limits.”

Adam looks at Kaoru, then at Kojirou—the glint of mischief and of confidence reflected in his eyes is the same as the one that pulls everyone in his orbit, making them give their all to become the best. It’s a look that Kaoru feels inextricably drawn to, enamored with the unbridled possibilities he imagines behind words that promise a paradise of freedom grander than anything they’ve ever known.

“You both have skills that will be useful to establish this race,” Adam continues. “People are following you and your skating is among the best. I said before that you guys were special, and I mean it.”

Kaoru does not preen, but the shivers that course through his body as Adam opens his heart are ones that feel pleasant, almost addictive. His grin splits his face in two.

“You can count on us, we’re going to create the best skating race in existence,” Kaoru assures. “Right, Kojirou?”

“Yeah, of course!”

Kojirou’s earnest tone is almost a relief—he’s clearly as excited about this race as them, and Kaoru would have been seriously worried if that wasn’t the case.

For the first time, the joyous expression on Adam’s face seems to be born out of sincerity plucked from the deepest corner of his heart. It suits him; it makes him look even more radiant than usual. Kaoru can’t look away.

“It’s decided, then,” Adam says. “The three of us, inaugurating the “S” race. Together.”

On that day, when Kaoru turned seventeen and his mind was filled with nothing but skateboarding, he thought that this is what belonging felt like.

18.

Sitting perfectly straight, legs tucked under him, Kaoru picks up a brush, dips it into ink he has carefully ground, presses it against the sheet of paper and splashes black trails all over it. The ink drips outside of the frame and stains the tatami floor of the study he hasn’t bothered to protect, littering everything in dark, angry marks that resemble the work of a child throwing a tantrum.

There is no word, no poem written on his paper. Half of the inkstick is grossly used up, its tip almost falling apart, like it wasn’t deemed worthy of being respected as one of the treasures of calligraphy. Kaoru is filling the paper with nothing but emptiness.

It’s not even rage moving his arm like a possessed demon. It would have been easier to deal with, if it was rage; handling it requires minimal effort, as he can mindlessly let his heart wreak havoc upon anything his hands come into contact with, or he can scream all the grievances he’s bottled up to clear the space occupied by unpleasant thoughts. Rage is physical, in and out, and Kaoru’s had years of practice getting rid of it.

But this is not rage that nudges him in the direction of destroying a perfectly good piece of paper with expensive ink and an even more expensive brush, tarnishing their quality and the noble use they are destined to. It’s cold and quiet resignation, trapping him in his own mind as he lets himself be selfish one last time and act out in childish anger.

Kaoru’s eighteenth birthday is spent alone, grieving his dream of ever cutting ties with family traditions. He hasn’t touched a skateboard in months and he hasn’t tinkered with his AI program in even longer. There was no point anyway—Kojirou has other things to focus on, and Adam left.

Kaoru was a fool to think he was strong and resolute enough to follow a path that is not written with the same deep ink as the one he’s used all his life.

20.

“You can legally drink now, congrats.”

“Great. I can sip my alcohol in the presence of guests and pretend I’m enjoying their company when all I want is getting drunk.”

“That’s not very professional, soon-to-be Sakurayashiki-sensei.”

“You’re one to talk, I bet you’re consuming way too many beers at those parties. Has gaining muscle mass made you lose brain cells?”

“Hey, you four-eyes, that was uncalled for!”

There is something moving behind Kojirou, a door opening and someone poking his head inside, and Kojirou turns his head to rattle off a few words in Italian before facing the camera again. Chin resting in his palm, Kaoru is watching with a raised eyebrow Kojirou’s roommate rummage through Kojirou’s dressing, before retreating back into the corridor.

“Does he make a habit to walk around your shared apartment half-naked?” Kaoru asks.

Kojirou laughs, waving his hand. “He was looking for a clean shirt, he forgot to do laundry yesterday. I told him he could borrow one of mine.”

“I’m surprised you still find shirts your size with the way your body’s taking the shape of a gorilla’s.”

“Just admit you’re jealous of my perfect muscles.”

Kojirou makes a show of flexing his bicep and Kaoru snorts.

“Yeah, I’m so jealous of that gorilla body that is unnecessarily big.” Kaoru deadpans.

“Believe it or not, it makes skating a lot more fun too,” Kojirou adds with a smile. “More power in the legs to do tricks.”

Kojirou looks...satisfied with the direction his life is taking. Kaoru is happy for him—studying abroad in culinary school and discovering a whole new culture seems to be the change of pace Kojirou needed. Sometimes Kaoru wishes he could also skate in the places full of pipes and curvy roads that Kojirou shows him, but he has to make do with the familiar tracks he’s skated on all his life.

“I upgraded Carla to calculate distances faster and to automatically record what she sees,” Kaoru says with a hint of smugness.

“Your AI having a girl’s name will never stop being weird,” Kojirou groans. “Why haven’t you chosen something normal like “Ghost Voice” or “Robotico”?”

“An AI is not a robot.” Kaoru pinches the bridge of his nose, already tired of having to repeat this for the umpteenth time. “Your Roomba is a robot. Carla recognizes many more things than the shape of your apartment.”

“Then program Carla to clean my apartment too.”

“Carla isn’t a vacuum cleaner, you dimwit!”

“That’s a big shame, maybe you should also create an AI cooking for you!”

Kaoru opens his mouth to reply something scathing, then snaps it shut. On the screen, Kojirou frowns.

“Don’t,” Kojirou warns.

“We have enough resources and data to program an AI that creates recipes from a list of ingredients,” Kaoru says anyway. “If we implement it into a robot, with the correct code and careful adjustments, then maybe it will be a decent cook.”

“If you start making a cook AI I don’t want to heart about it,” Kojirou mutters.

Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Do you think I have enough hours in a day to focus on another project? Carla already requires my full attention.”

There is no need for him to say that calligraphy practice is what he does most of the day, if he’s not attending courses on speech or on business. It’s his life now; he chose to become the next Sakurayashiki calligrapher and he can’t back down now. Not that he’s ever fully considered leaving calligraphy behind for one of his better, more interesting hobbies—and this was exactly the problem. He never untied his hands from the string tethering him to a brush.

“You always want to work on something, so I’m expecting anything from you when you’re bored,” Kojirou says with a smirk.

“Maybe my next project will make gorillas like you shut up.”

Kaoru is twenty years old, discovering every day new aspects of himself in a professional environment, but one thing that never changes is the comfort of simply existing as himself when he talks to Kojirou.

22.

Kaoru spends a couple of years simmering in feelings he doesn’t acknowledge.

He isn’t someone who takes the time to reflect on his own feelings, negative or positive. They simply happen and he decides on whether to act on them—which has been true since he was a child, throwing tantrums when he didn’t like the task he was asked to do, kicking someone he didn’t agree with as a teenager, and deflecting when answering journalists’ questions that would force him to look deep into his heart. He lives in the moment and tries very hard not to burden himself with useless thoughts and regrets he can’t act upon.

He doesn’t dwell more than necessary on his choice to inherit the family calligraphy studio, because it will lead to nothing productive. He has perhaps harbored ill feelings towards calligraphy in the past, but they’re not so visceral he can’t execute the job he’s been trained for since he could hold a brush. Sometimes he thinks he could have rejected everything he’s been taught and disappoint his family for the rest of his life, but he immediately chases the thought away and decides that suffering through a successful career of calligrapher appears to be a small sacrifice compared to the headaches that would have come with removing himself from the Sakurayashiki studio.

He’s a full grown adult, by society’s standards. He shed his sweaters for yukatas and took off his piercings with reluctance, feeling like he ripped off a part of himself that’s been with him forever to fit into a mold he’s accepted as his new normal. Those were remnants of his old, carefree life that he abandoned, and it’d be preposterous to wish for things to have gone differently.

At least he has his AI—a new spin to a traditional art that is resistant to change. Carla is efficient, impressive and shocks people into admiration; Kaoru has upgraded and improved the code as many times as it required, making her compatible with every device in his possession so that she could accompany him in all his tasks. Skating became a game of precision, detail and finesse, aiming for perfection beyond what the average mind would think of. Calligraphy is enhanced and magnified, the digital aspect adding beauty in an art that is almost exclusively done by hand. Incorporating technology in his otherwise boring job undoubtedly made his days easier and more fun.

Kaoru isn’t dissatisfied. He can do better, but he could have done worse. However, if there is one thing that makes him antsy it’s the realization that he’s seeing less of Kojirou with each passing day, and he would have never thought it would leave a growing ache in his chest every time he thinks about it.

They have their own lives to live. It’s part of growing up—and he hasn’t completely lost his best friend yet.

25.

They have been wandering the streets of Paris for exactly ten minutes and Kaoru is already starting to regret his decision.

“It’s not that hard to read a map,” he seethes, trying to grab Kojirou’s phone.

Kojirou lifts the device higher and turns his back on Kaoru, stubbornly keeping his eyes riveted on the screen.

“I’ve got this, stop distracting me,” Kojirou says.

“The metro station is right there, let’s just change itinerary, stupid gorilla!”

“You want to take the metro when we could explore the city on foot?”

“The probability of getting shitted on by pigeons is way too high for my liking.”

This gets an undignified snort from Kojirou, more amused than mocking though Kaoru knows not to assume when every one of his words can be thrown back at his face later on.

They do end up taking the metro. They can go anywhere in Paris by bus or metro, making it extremely convenient to find their way but it gets overwhelming really fast—the metro lines seem to be full of people at all hours of the day, according to Kaoru’s extensive research before their trip, and they are nothing like the monorail they have back in Okinawa. Most passengers are focused on their phones, while others are taking a quick nap, which is not that different from what they’re used to.

“It can’t be worse than the Tokyo rail lines,” Kaoru mutters as they’re being shaken by the train doing a particularly sharp and violent turn.

“You’ve never been to Tokyo,” Kojirou replies with a raised eyebrow.

“I did last year for a meeting.”

“And that single trip was enough for you to get the full experience of the infamous rush of Tokyo’s Yamanote line?”

“I wasn’t saying I used the Yamanote line, imbecile. All trains are crowded. I think you wouldn’t have been able to squeeze in with your gorilla body.”

“At least I’m not at risk of going blind when someone knocks off my glasses by pushing me around in a crowd!”

“I always carry a second pair of glasses with me to avoid this kind of incident!”

It’s probably a good thing that this line of metro makes the same level of noise as a tractor revved up at full power, because their arguing is by no means quiet and people are starting to stare at them. But as soon as Kaoru glances at them, they avert their eyes and pretend they weren’t gawking. Typical.

March weather is terrible. Their trip lasts one week, and there is an equal number of sunny days and of cloudy days, with high probability of rain. It shouldn’t be normal to have a changing weather so unpredictable that it makes planning for their day a real pain in the ass. Kojirou is already complaining about the sun beginning to leave space for clouds at merely eleven in the morning, and Kaoru silently agrees with the sentiment.

The food is good, at least.

“Reminds me a bit of what restaurants looked like in Italy,” Kojirou says around a mouthful of beef. “Maybe I can draw inspiration from those recipes.”

“It’s not Italian cuisine,” Kaoru points out. “Unless you intend to make a mixed menu.”

“Of course not, but the flavors can be useful.”

Kojirou is examining his piece of vegetable like a scientist observing an experiment under a microscope, as if it could give him the secrets of its cooking time or the spices used for it. Kaoru lightly kicks him under the table, and Kojirou hisses.

“Stop being weird and eat your food.”

“Do you really have to hit me every time you want to make a point?”

“I’m not hitting that hard.”

The other way around is more likely to happen; Kaoru won’t ever admit it but he doubts that Kojirou feels more pain than Kaoru does when he hits him. Those muscles are ridiculous and entirely unnecessary, honestly.

They take pictures at the landmarks and get mad at the long lines and narrow their eyes at the price of various food and drinks they stumble upon. They’re not short on money, but drinking a cup of café au lait at twice the price of what they can find in regular coffee shops doesn’t leave a good taste in their mouth. Kojirou uses the knowledge from his time in Italy to make educated guesses on whether they’re paying something at an unreasonable price or not—he looks a bit too smug doing so but Kaoru lets it slide for once and allows him to play the role of the brain for this specific aspect of their trip. Kaoru can at least trust Kojirou’s judgment when money is concerned (even if his intuition can be skewed sometimes).

“It’s only because it’s your birthday trip that I’m putting up with your need to visit museums,” Kojirou says, waving at the multiple pamphlets they gathered after three days of sightseeing.

“Having some culture ingrained in your mind is nothing but beneficial for you,” Kaoru retorts evenly.

Kojirou rolls his eyes, clearly not interested in that conversation, and gets up from his bed of their hotel room. It’s past midnight but they’re still wide awake. Sharing one room would be awkward or embarrassing for a lot of people, but Kaoru has known Kojirou half his life and it would be ridiculous to feel self-conscious now, when they’ve seen each other in various states of undress and wakefulness. Perhaps the only complaint Kaoru will voice that he didn’t have when he was thirteen is that the older Kojirou gets, the louder his snoring is (as if the noise level grows with the wideness of his body).

“Hey, Kaoru.”

Kaoru looks up from tomorrow’s schedule displayed on his phone to come face to face with a giant box of pastries and Kojirou’s bright grin. Kojirou is holding the box one-handed, slightly bent forward, like he would a tray to present his dish to his most loyal customers.

“Happy birthday, four-eyes,” Kojirou says on a light tone.

“Must you call me names when you’re wishing me happy birthday?” Kaoru scoffs, but he eyes the pastries with unconcealed interest.

They went to a bakery in the afternoon for a snack, buying a croissant, a pain au chocolat and a pain aux raisins because they apparently lack self control when it comes to cheap baked goods—but for some reason Kaoru missed the moment Kojirou acquired this box of pastries.

“It’s past midnight,” Kaoru reminds him.

Kojirou shrugs. “We’re grown adults and on holiday, I don’t think it’s much of a problem.”

“There are six different pastries in this box.”

“Nobody’s saying we should eat all of them right now, moron. Save some of them for tomorrow.”

They end up eating three pasties, one half each, while arguing about the pros and cons of buying smaller portions of different sweets over getting an entire cake for a birthday, as well as the point of starting celebrating said birthday at midnight instead of simply waiting for morning. They’ve had these conversations before, at Kaoru’s or Kojirou’s birthday over the years, but it seems they never grow sick of repeating the same arguments even when the topic is stupid.

It’s like a well-oiled machine; pushing on one button always leads to the same result. Kaoru and Kojirou argue because this is what they’re used to do, a response at their lips even before they hear the end of the other’s sentence. What comes out of their mouths takes the shape of banter but Kaoru, even though he usually ignores it, notices how at ease he is in these moments.

Kojirou invited him for this trip even if he didn’t have to, and bought pastries to share at midnight like they’re holding a small party. His face is illuminated by his generosity and his big heart that finds a way to carve itself in his eyes.

“Let’s go skating tomorrow afternoon, it will be fun,” Kojirou suggests, mischief and plain desire to have fun glimmering in his gaze.

And Kaoru can’t say no.

They brought their boards, like they did when they traveled to Los Angeles. It might sound like a waste of space in their luggage, but nobody has a say in what they consider fun. Kaoru had to change Carla’s battery for her to fall under airport regulation, which was a hassle on short notice (Kojirou dropped a plane ticket on Kaoru’s lap a week before departure, and Kaoru shoved back money at him but it somehow ended back in his hands after a few minutes of jostling) but definitely worth it, because there’s no way he will skate with a lower quality board.

On March 27th, when Kaoru turns twenty-five years old, he almost resorts to a more physical solution to win petty squabbles against skaters in another country, a behavior he was prone to display when he was seventeen. But he’s an adult who is traveling for leisure and isn’t foolish enough to ruin the trip by punching someone when he can skate away and show off with a few tricks involving exact calculations and perfect angles, so this is what he does—after Kojirou, admittedly, forced him to remain calm, as though he was his impulse control when Kojirou is just as quick to rise to a challenge.

Maybe the difference is that Kojirou isn’t a cocky bastard like Kaoru is. Debatable, but Kaoru won’t deny that he loves the feeling of achieving something flashy or impressive. Getting into trouble for it is always worth it, especially if Kojirou is there to live it with him. It’s never the same without Kojirou—they might bicker and have more arguments then actual conversations, but Kojirou’s a warm presence enveloping him in a tight hug he can never quite shake off.

The trip to Paris isn’t half-bad, and it’s full of memories with the person he trusts the most.

26.

Kojirou is very, very still when Kaoru finally stops fighting with himself and leans his head on his shoulder, completely wasted after drinking too much wine at this event gathering too many important people to talk to and drink with. The taxi is silent and all he can hear is the screech of the wheels on the asphalt.

“Rest until we reach your home,” Kojirou says, something akin to laughter in his voice.

“Hm.”

Kaoru registers the words coming out of Kojirou’s mouth, and judges them acceptable before closing his eyes and letting himself be rocked by the car drive. In his drunken haze, when he called Kojirou to be picked up, he forgot Kojirou lent his car to his little brother; remembering such an essential detail would have saved them a lot of trouble, but Kojirou called a taxi and is now sitting with Kaoru in the backseat instead of going back to his own home. What an idiot.

Kojirou helps him into his apartment, grumbling as his elbows hit the walls and his feet get caught in stray shoes in the genkan that Kaoru eventually wanted to sort out and put away. They manage to get to the couch, and Kaoru collapses on it without grace and lets out a long groan, draping an arm over his eyes.

“I’m not drinking at this sort of event again,” he complains.

“That’s your fault for not limiting yourself,” Kojirou sounds unimpressed. “You always say you’ll stop drinking but you keep doing it.”

“Half a glass with each guest is customary. Beyond that is called showing off.”

“So you’re showing off, stupid four-eyes.”

“Shut up, gorilla. I have something to prove.”

Kojirou’s sigh is filled with such apparent exasperation that Kaoru immediately realizes how petty and ridiculous he just sounded.

“On the day of your birthday, to top it all,” Kojirou says. “Do you need babysitting?”

“You are not going to babysit me,” Kaoru snaps. “I’ll just go to sleep.”

“Yeah, and you’ll start bitching tomorrow morning because you forgot to drink water and take a shower.”

“I’m not that incompetent, you giant brainless idiot.”

Kojirou doesn’t deign responding to his insult and slides behind the kitchen counter. Kaoru drops his arm and watches him rummaging through the cabinets with too much confidence for someone who doesn’t live there. Kojirou comes back with a glass of water and two slices of bread that Kaoru usually eats in the morning when he’s too lazy to make breakfast.

“You probably didn’t eat much, since your robophile brain was wired on ingesting wine.”

“I just said I don’t need your help,” Kaoru mutters.

Kojirou ignores him and deposits the items on the coffee table. He then sits down next to Kaoru, causing Kaoru to shift further on his side of the couch because of his needlessly big body.

“Do you have to sit so close to me?” Kaoru grumbles, leaning forward to snatch the water and the bread, pretending that his world didn’t start spinning as he did so. He takes a few sips of the water.

“Your couch isn’t large enough.”

“It’s your body that’s not average size, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“You’re suspiciously coherent for someone who says he’s drunk.”

Kaoru shrugs, foregoing manners as he speaks and munches on the bread at the same time. “My mind is clear, my thoughts aren’t confused in the least.”

“Right. What time is it?”

Kaoru looks at the time displayed on his TV box, sitting on the stand pushed against the opposite wall of where they’re sitting. He squints at the numbers, slightly blurry despite his glasses still resting on his nose. He has no idea what time it is.

“Eleven forty-seven,” Kaoru announces.

“No, it’s twelve forty-seven,” Kojirou snickers. “Finish that, take a shower and go to bed.”

“And you’re going to stay here and take up space in my apartment?”

“Well, if your event hadn’t run for so long, I would have spent some time with you anyway since it’s your birthday. So I might as well stay until you fall asleep.”

Several things get jumbled in his head at that moment, and Kaoru stares at Kojirou in disbelief. There’s something funny and warm happening in the pit of his stomach.

“You have nothing else to do,” Kaoru asks, or accuses—he doesn’t know how his voice comes across.

“Just go to sleep, Kaoru.”

Kojirou takes the empty glass from Kaoru’s hands and puts it on the table. He then tugs Kaoru upright, holding his wrists in a gentle and careful grip, as if Kaoru will break if he’s not handled in the most delicate manner. Half of the second slice of bread is lying abandoned in the plate, but Kaoru doesn’t particularly mind as he realizes, with strange clarity, that this isn’t unpleasant to be taken care of like this. Kojirou is smiling at him with his most genuine expression, and Kaoru has to look down to avoid his gaze, embarrassed and fulfilled and relieved all at once.

28.

It’s been a long time coming, Kaoru thinks as his fingers tangle in Kojirou’s hair and he brings him closer, always closer to him. The night is warm and too uncomfortable for a spring day, but the heat twisting his stomach is from something entirely separate. His lips meet Kojirou’s endlessly, like this act alone will make him absorb whatever Kojirou is willing to give to him for safekeeping. It’s the first time they’re kissing and yet it feels like they should have been doing this for years now, hiding under the shade of a tree or behind a rocky wall to share a private moment together, in a pocket of time that will burst only when they decide to drop all pretenses.

He knows it’s been a long time coming, because Kojirou is laughing against his lips, and when Kaoru cracks an eye open he sees how open and fond Kojirou’s face is. Kaoru immediately wants to close his eyes again and to stop noticing how luminous everything has become.

“We’re so dumb,” Kojirou says.

“You are stupid, for holding back all those years,” Kaoru retorts.

“Yeah, now it’s my fault for being considerate of your feelings towards me.”

“If you believed for one instant that I’d cut ties with you, then you’re more foolish than I thought you were.”

Kojirou still has hi arms wound around Kaoru’s back, and when he shrugs he presses Kaoru closer to himself. There is no anger and no regret in his eyes or his posture, as though nothing in the world would strip him of the bliss he’s currently being filled with. Kaoru finds himself drunk on the sight.

“I didn’t think that, no. I was just too scared of doing anything that will cause a shift in our relationship.”

The words sound strange, once Kaoru hears them spoken out loud. Kojirou is the one constant in his life that never changed, a shadow at his back and a light guiding him. They’ve both seen each other at their worst and their best, tending to bruises and squeezing a shoulder in comfort or riling each other up as part of their routine. Kojirou is an entity that exists at Karou’s side, full of familiarity and overflowing with kindness that doesn’t need to be voiced.

Kojirou is stupid for ever having hesitated or doubted the strength of their bond. But Kaoru is stupid, too, for simply taking what Kojirou was offering without ever giving back properly.

“We’re never having this conversation again,” Kaoru warns, tugging at Kojirou’s hair and pressing his forehead against his. “I trust you, Kojirou. I always have. This isn’t going to change.”

Kojirou is clinging to every one of his words, looking at Kaoru with the most enraptured expression he’s ever shown. Like this is a dream that cannot be real. Kaoru scowls.

“Don’t look so surprised, gorilla. That’s not a secret.”

“I’m not surprised, I’m simply enjoying that you’re saying it at all,” Kojirou laughs.

“You never say anything pleasant about me either.”

“You’re the one who barges into my restaurant and half the time demand dishes that aren’t even on the menu, and I still cook them! I’m being nice enough!”

“What else would you do in a restaurant, muscles for brain ape?”

“I don’t know, cook a dish I have the actual ingredients for?”

Kaoru’s lips are pulled upward despite everything, his heart as light as ever in Kojirou’s presence. The ease surrounding them remains the same, electric veil sealing them in their own brand of intimacy they wouldn’t trade for anything else.

It feels effortless, then, to switch to a less barbed attitude but still retaining playfulness. Kaoru brushes strands of hair out of Kojirou’s face, and Kojirou runs a thumb under Kaoru’s eye.

“It’s my birthday at the end of the week,” Kaoru whispers, locking eyes with Kojirou. “Take me somewhere nice.”

“Bossy as ever,” Kojirou sighs, though his voice sounds like contentment and bliss contained in a space called home.

Kaoru smiles.

#matchablossom #joecherry #matcha blossom #kaoru sakurayashiki #kojiro nanjo #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #kaoru is like 'i know i have feelings but i'm making the decision of not seeing them'#i'm fascinated by his change from punk high schooler to stoic adult #i also have more thoughts about kaoru+calligraphy relationship that i'll eventually write down #when i have the time o(-(

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giorno-plays-piano · 4 years

Text

You were all I wanted Part 2

Pairing: mob!Peter Parker x plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, kidnapping, human trafficking, non-con, minor character's death.

Words: 2655.

Summary: You are bought by the head of Stark crime family for a kid he cares about.

Part 1

P.S. Peter is an adult!

__________

It had started. You could feel the sudden shift in atmosphere when Peter dropped his hand to your cheek, touching you awkwardly as if he were afraid you would disappear once he got more passionate with you. He caressed you gently like a lover, and you felt miserable. The only boy who had ever set his eyes on you was a young mobster who owned you as of you were some soulless object.

"You're so pretty." His whisper was barely audible, his face so close to yours you wanted to shut your eyes.

You needed to relax. No one - even a boy like him - would want to deal with a mad fury. He'd just shoot you: among other things on the table there were there was an actual gun. You needed to keep this guy happy, and maybe Peter would still be sweet with you once he got rid of his virginity.

But then he suddenly stopped and pulled away from you.

"Oh no, what the hell am I doing?" He laughed awkwardly and scratched his head. "Sorry, I didn't mean jumping at you like that. So you wanna take your shower or maybe eat some more?"

You took your eyes elsewhere and did your best not to wince. Keep it cool, breathe, don't push the boy off.

"Can I have some alcohol?" Your voice sounded pathetic.

"Of course!" Peter jumped again and rushed to the drawer. "I have some whiskey and vo... shit, I'm stupid, who the fuck gives vodka to a lady? I'll bring you a bottle of champagne, just a sec!"

He was at the door in a matter of seconds and you gave him a puzzled look. This Peter boy was unpredictable. He grinned at you and went out of the room, locking the door behind him.

You were still on the bed, watching your feet, afraid to move. Technically, in front of you was a regular door with a simple lock and a door handle - if you could find something heavy, you could break it.

Well, actually, you could just snatch that gun from the table and make a few holes in the wood. The problem with that was that you were inside Stark Tower, that ugly building that looked more like an abandoned factory rather than a graceful skyscraper. How many Stark's guys with guns were there? How far would you make it?

You could also put a gun against your head and pull the trigger...

You shivered and stood up, walking to the bathroom. You refused to look at the table.

Stripping yourself of all those lacy undergarments with shame and dropping them to the white floor, you sneaked into the bath and turned on the water, trying not to look around too much. It felt like there were cameras everywhere to record you, naked, miserable, and frightened, so you finished showering as fast as you could and wrapped a towel around youself. Could you take that towel, actually? Was it for you? Would Peter want to see you naked on the bed when he returned instead?

You wiped away more tears running down your face and slowly removed the towel, putting on the lingerie they gave you before the auction.

"Hey, where are you?" Peter's voice rang loudly behind the door. You could feel he was distressed.

"H-here!" You quickly grasped your palr pink silk robe and put it on too, carefully sneaking back to the room to see the boy with a bottle of Moet & Chandon and two champagne glasses in his hands. Huh, classy.

"Oh, hey." He smiled, a bit embarrassed at his outbirst. "I, uh, found this. I hope you're going to like it."

"Thank you, Peter." You murmured softly and saw him grinning wider when he heard you saying his name for the first time.

Although normally you didn't drink much, you heard about your friend's sexual escapades when she was totally drunk many times and assumed everything could go easier if you had enough champagne. Maybe then you would simply forget you were brought to Stark's Tower and forced to have sex with a guy you had never met before.

Peter had already opened the bottle with a loud noise and poured the sparkly golden liquid into the glass, handing it to you. You brushed your hand against his unintentionally and thought how warm he was.

"I'm not good with these things, but, um, I'm glad I met you today." He had that radiant boyish smile on his face. When he raised his glass, you raised yours too, barely understanding to what you were saluting. "I'm so happy from now on you're gonna be here with me."

What a romantic. It would be almost sweet if he didn't hold you here against your will.

"I'm happy to meet you, too." You made yourself smile, and the two of you clinked your glasses. You drank all the champagne in one big gulp, not afraid to appear unladylike and caring only to get drunk faster. You didn't eat much, so it had to be easy enough.

Peter repeated after you with a little laugh and filled the glasses again and then again until you didn't start feeling funny and your shoulders finally relaxed, the alcohol removing all the tension from your body like some magical elixir. When the boy reached out to touch your shoulder, you didn't flinch, feeling his soft lips pressing against yours in a gentle kiss.

It wasn't that bad, you thought. He was being very tender with you, taking his time to unfasten your robe with his fingers trembling from excitement, and then kissed your temple. He trailed his kisses down to your neck as you let out a loud sigh, biting your lips, then burying your fingers in his soft disheveled hair. Peter's subtle touches felt good.

"I'm sorry for hurrying these things up." He said suddenly with guilt all over his pretty face. "I really am, but I have to show the guys you're my girl. They won't understand otherwise, and we might get in trouble."

"It's ok." You kissed his cheek, watching his eyelashes tremble. "Maybe I'm going to like it. You're nice, Peter."

He looked at you with wide eyes, his lips curling into a wide smile once more at your words as he reached to unfasten your pink bra.

"I don't have much experience, but I'll do my best to make you feel good." His breath tickled your face when the boy cupped your breasts, enjoying the softness of your body. You loved that look of adoration on his face.

"Do you have any?"

"I do."

What, really? That high schooler already had his virginity taken by someone else?

"Kids these days." You mumbled and he suddenly pinched your cheek. "Ouch!"

"You're not allowed to call me a kid!" Peter said with a pout, drawing little circles around your nipple and grasping your plump hip. "Only Mr. Stark can. Besides, I'm like year and a half younger that you, so I'm going to call you a little girl then, y'know?"

"Wha... ahh... Peter." You inched him closer, enjoying the way he played with your breast and kissing him in return. "But you look so young, huh."

"And you look like a schoolgirl without your makeup." He chuckled and gently sucked your lower lip, his left hand caressing your soft belly. You tensed immediately again, but the boy lowered you on the bed and kissed your forehead, staring at you from above with loving eyes. "Please don't be shy. I like you. Every part of you."

You stayed silent, but your eyes were gleaming with tears when you threw your hands around his neck and inched Peter closer, kissing him more. He rested one of his arms close to your pillow, the other one travelled down your body to squeeze your belly gently again, then went closer to your pussy, forcing you to open your legs and caressing your clit covered by the thin pink fabric of your panties.

"I can take care of you." The boy cooed softly at your ear and pushed them to the side to touch your already slick folds. "Do you want me to? Do you want me to take care of you?"

"Yes." You moaned when his fingers rubbed your clit and closed your eyes, losing yourself in the moment. "Please, please, Peter, take care of me."

"I knew you'd be a good girl." He licked his lips impatiently and picked up pace rubbing your clit to make you wail under him. "Yes, like that. I'm gonna teach you to cum from my fingers, and then I'll use that tight little pussy of yours, yeah? Would you like that?"

"Yes, yes Peter, plea... ahhh."

____________

The next morning was peaceful - you woke up to the boy's soft snoring behind you, his hand draped over body. Well, you weren't sure you could keep calling him that since he was actually older than you thought and, uh, way more experienced. If you tried to recall all the things he did to you last night, you could die of shame, probably.

The alcohol helped a lot. Firstly, it was so much easier to blame it for all the pleaser Peter gave you - of course, it was all the alcohol's fault, you couldn't possibly enjoy having sex with someone who thought owing a human being was okay. Secondly, the alcohol allowed you to play the role of a sweet little thing to perfection as you never even once pushed Peter away, probably leaving him satisfied with your submission. If he was satisfied, maybe he wouldn't get rid of you first thing in the morning.

You shivered at the thought and realized you didn't hear his snoring anymore.

"Good morning." He yawned, sneaking closer to you and pressing his face into your hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Good morning, Peter." You found the strength to gently caress the back of his hand laying on your belly. "Yes, thank you. Did you?"

"Are you joking?" The sound of him giggling made you relax a bit. "I think the last time I slept so soundly was when Aunt May was still alive."

You went quiet, staring at the white bathroom's door across the room. So, the woman he told you about yesterday was dead. You could imagine she was the one who raised Peter, but withour her to take care of the boy - who could be very young at that time - he ended up with Stark's crime family. Then it made sense why he didn't behave exactly like those vultures surrounding his boss as he most likely didn't grow up on the streets of New York.

Were you pitying the man who was holding you captive here? Yes, yes you were.

"Does it hurt?" He asked in quiet voice and touched your lower belly tenderly.

"A little. But not as much I thought it would."

He moved his hand up and cuddled you, kissing the top of your head. You hoped it was a good sign and you wouldn't end up in a ditch in the evening. Was Peter going to keep you here as his personal toy? It was humiliating to even think about that, but anything seemed better than dying to you now.

He let you stay. In fact, he had never considered letting you go after Mr. Stark bought you - you were Peter's girl now, right? So he did his best to accommodate you in that room where he lived, providing you with clothes, shoes, cosmetics and all the things you needed, a laptop included. Of course, there was no wi-fi or anything that could help you to connect to the outer world, but Peter recommended you strongly against it. You've already seen enough that made it impossible for you to leave - Mr. Stark would never take it kindly if you tried to run or, God forbids, go to the police. It wasn't just your life at stake, but the life of your family, too. It was embarrassingly easy to find out everything about them, including where they lived and worked, of course. Tony could kill them with a snap of his fingers.

Though you weren't allowed to leave the room, Peter promised he would do everything to give you more freedom a bit later. The guys needed to trust you before they would grant you permission to move freely around the building - not that you really wanted it. Who in the right mind would walk the Stark's Tower full of deranged criminals?

Anyway, the place where you were now was mostly comfortable - you could watch TV and play video games if you were bored; Peter also brought you a pile of books and magazines, and he was always providing you with nice food. Honestly, you expected something way worse than that.

It was the end of the third day when the boy returned with a box of pizza and a few bottles of Starbucks frappuccino, his usually cheerful expression turned all gloomy and tired. Something must had happened, but you were not sure if you were allowed to ask him that - you had never discussed the things he was doing outside of this room.

"Hi, Peter. How was your day?" You stood up from the bed and took a box and bottles from him, placing them on the side table close to the microwave. Before you could turn to him, you felt the boy kissing the back of your head.

"Tired." He mumbled and step back, taking off his bomber and sneakers before moving to bed and sitting down. "I've had a hell of a day."

"I'm so sorry. Do you want me to draw you a bath?"

When he looked at you, you saw him chuckling warmly as he motioned you to come closer. You lowered yourself on the bed, too, and Peter kissed your lips, then grinning and laughing like a kid.

"You don't know how happy I am to have you, Baby. You're sweet and smart and, uh, you don't want to run from me because you know there's no good in that."

Maybe his words were intended as a compliment, but you shivered and quickly placed a fake smile on your face. You had already figured out Peter was not even half as sweet as he seemed. What did you expect from him being Stark's favourite?

"Did something happen, Peter?" You knew you were going to regret asking that, yet you felt like you had to. You needed to pretend your relationship with him were genuine.

"Mr. Stark shot Amanda." The boy shooked his head sadly.

"Who?"

"His new girl. The one he bought at the same auction as you."

That immensely beautiful woman with her eyes deep as ocean and hair dark as night? She could easily be the world's next beauty queen, and he killed her? He killed an innocent woman who, besides that, was stunning, graceful and perfect and walking on air?!

"I mean, of course she brought it on herself when she whored with her guards to make them let her go, but, shit, I don't like it when Mr. Stark kills his girls." Peter covered his face with his rough palms and rubbed his eyes as you stared at him, terrified.

"Does he... does he kill them all?"

"Not all of them... but most."

You heard youself sobbing and clamped a hand against your mouth right away, tears pouring down your face. Your pathetic attempt to hide your fear failed as Peter leaned closer to you, taking your hand away and kissing your eyelids to shush you. He rubbed your back reassuringly and let you put your face against his shoulder.

"Don't worry, Baby." That was how he called you now. "You're not his girl, you're mine. This will never happen to you because I love you a lot and you're smart, right?"

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @void-hoechlin @abyssaint @msruchita @opheliadawnwalker3

#peter parker x reader #dark peter parker x reader #peter parker #dark peter parker #yandere #tom holland #spiderman

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jess-the-vampire · 3 years

Text

Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 47

Previous / Next:

"So what do you think angel?".

Sky motioned to the platters of food that were nearly finished, having prepped the chefs and even helped out with, lexi adding final touches wherever she wanted, much to the chef's dismay. Angel of course seemed super tired and still stressed, as if thinking any small thing could ruin the whole entire night and mess things up with the king of spider monsters.

His dad wasn't cruel, he was no toffee or shastacan.

But the disappointment was enough to scare him.

He never used to care about this before, but now...it was always on his mind, taking over it. He nervously looked over what they had prepared, his father was coming in a few minutes, he wasn't dressed because they had been occupied with getting the dining hall ready and checking and changing the dinner options...5 times, they had wasted so much time and angel still wasn't sure they got things right.

"I...I'm not sure...maybe-".

"Angel...we don't have much time left, we spent hours getting stuff ready...we gotta get you changed...we're going to have to go with this...", she wasn't saying it to be mean, but angel didn't have time to be picky right now, especially if he wanted to have anything ready at all for his father. She patted his back to reassure him and ask if there was anything else he wanted to add to the meal his father would like.

But he only shook his head, disappointed but knowing she was right and they had to get moving.

"Let's go get changed...", his voice sounded defeated as he waved to marco before heading his way out, followed by sky who also waved to the demon queen, "Just don't be long, we'll be calling everyone to dinner very soon, remember he's not the only new guest we have here tonight". They gave her a knowing look and sky felt a fit in her stomach at remembering her grandma was finally coming over.

"I'm surprised you're so calm", he mumbled to the butterfly princess.

"Hmm?".

Angel turned to face her, "Your grandma is coming over and you're acting like it's not a big deal at all, you're not panicking over food, what you're going to wear...you're the complete opposite of me...". Sky was actually nervous even if he didn't think she looked it, but at the same time this event wasn't exactly about impressing her or proving anything to her so she had little reason to freak...as much.

There were other reasons to worry about her grandma that involved stuff outside of sky herself.

Whatever was really happening was more between her grandma...and her mom, less so about sky, her own mom had way more of a reason to be packing just as bad as angel was at the moment. Her grandma could be soft and sweet but also strict and scary if she wanted to be, not to mention pretty overbearing, she seemed to think at times she knew better then others.

Which of course, did not work for the current queen at all.

She had been trying to keep her mom out of her work for as long as she could, and now she was coming and there was nothing more she could do to convince the former queen to turn back to her retirement. She was coming and it would take more then usual to get her to turn back and away from the mess she had come to help try and fix where her daughter had failed.

Moon had gotten involved with sky being queen...a little, but her main focus was usually on her own daughter, after all...her daughter was meant to be the one teaching sky in the first place. So if she had to butt in and do star's job for her that wasn't good on star herself, though sky would argue this made moon look just as bad when it came to teaching star in the first place.

Anyways, she hated to even be involved during their bickering with stuff like this, she was lucky so far her life involved a lot less of it then she could've had. Being involved in the drama of two adults is a lot like being involved in the drama of two annoying teenagers, and sky had the urge to ask landon to borrow some of his headphones just to be safe.

"Well...guess i don't stress as much about making a good impression...most of the time, even when people were treating me like garbage i never really put on a fake persona and look to impress them so i guess it's just something i don't do", sky shrugged and tugged the prince along further, "But i mean, you got it way worse then me right now so that also probably makes a difference...".

"This feels like something a child would do after breaking one of their parent's things...doesn't it?".

"I guess you can say that yeah".

He hid his face within his hands, red, "You must think i seem like a real fool right now, you keep trying to reassure me and i keep freaking out about it and i just can't help it..." and that's when sky held out her hand, him taking it...still embarrassed. "It's fine, i'm not making fun of you for it...i get it, this whole thing is kinda important to you...you're going to be ok".

"I need to breathe more often...".

"It's still a learning process, you'll get used to it...hopefully, c'mon let's just get you dressed before you melt into the floor", she tugged him along as they made it to her room, which of course, was very much guarded still, angel awkwardly sat on the bed as sky headed inside her own wardrobe. "I'm assuming you're personally not into dresses so we'll rule that out for now, besides, i don't think any of my dresses will work with your back legs anyway".

Angel touched one of them in response.

"Good call".

"Now what i DO have is some stuff i was going to give to judas for his coronation, i started working on clothes ideas and these are mostly scrapped...i haven't had a ton of time to work on them exactly...but i nearly forgot i had been working on a few things for him...so maybe you can wear one...if you want to that is...if not i got other stuff in here...".

"Such as?".

She walked out holding a leather jacket and jeans.

"I mean, look, i dunno what exactly is your style outside of fancy stuff...but you could try...?", angel stared at the clothing with uncertainty, he still clearly didn't know what he wanted to do with his appearance and he had little time to think about it. Sky placed the clothes on the bed, "Hey...look...you can do whatever you wanna do...just make sure it's something you want to do...".

He took a minute to really think about it, nodding his head as he softly spoke.

"Well...leather might not really be me...but...you...have any sweaters in there? That might be more my speed...but...i'll wear a shirt under it and um...I'm ok wearing one of jude's jackets...", something about how he said it made sky smile, he seemed actually happy with his own choice. A choice made by him for him and not to please his father or anyone in particular.

"Sounds good, i can find that for you, you can shower real quick and we'll be good to go".

"What about you?".

She turned to face him, "I'll be fine as is...promise, you just need to worry about yourself and what you wanna say when your dad finally arrives, that's WAY more of a concern. You can think about it more in the shower and everything...". Angel glanced at the clothes and drawings sky and sunny had been working on earlier, clearly being reminded of the upcoming plans.

But he didn't say anything, instead sky fetched what he needed and he was quickly shoved into the closest nearby royal bathroom. What emerged soon later as a fresher smelling prince of the Arachmen, wearing a collared shift with a sweater and jacket overtop, he still had some nice shows and pants on but he seemed quite comfortable, his hair tired back behind him but a lot looser then it used to.

"How do i look?", he held out his arms and spun around to show the princess all of his angels, just to make sure he wasn't missing anything.

"Like a goober".

"What?".

"You look great, trust me, but tell me how you feel about it?".

He looked down at himself, adjusting his sweater, "Well...i feel...warm...and...comfortable".

"Perfect".

"You really seem to care about...me liking this stuff...don't you?", she shrugged as she brushed his sweater to make sure there weren't any loose hairs on him, "Well i mean, as someone who got annoyed at my parents telling me not to wear my hat for fun events, i'm not the person that's gonna force you one way or another...i just want you to like...be comfortable being yourself...and being that way to other people".

He softened at that as they made their way to the dining hall, to meet up with everyone. Most of everyone did seem to be there, though the most notable absent ones were judas, landon, celeste, her other mom, and...mason? She saw Queen Lucitor dressed up nearby in a rather radiant looking dress before approaching, still tugging angel along, guess angel wasn't the only one who decided to dress up real quick before dinner.

"Hey...where's-?".

"Judas? Off taking some time for himself still...hopefully he'll rejoin us soon, he's being kept company by katrina right now actually, she called in a bit ago. As for mason, he's still with fae and janna, they'll be a little late to eat, and well...landon and celeste are apparently visiting luna right now...so i'm not sure how long they'll be there but sadly we don't have time to retrieve them all...we'll just have to check in on them at dinner".

"Wait...visiting luna? Why in the heck would either of those grumps even want to be in the same room as her right now?", but she didn't have the time to question it, as here came her mom, in a rather nice golden dress and fixing her crown as she ran past her own daughter and into the dining room, the heavily armed guards quick to get out of her way.

"Guess Grandma's here...".

And sure enough, as sky turned around, followed by a few more guards came a new flowing figure with silvery hair tied back in a braid, wearing a blue gown with a cape, and with diamond marks that matched her heavy makeup. Angel was stuck in place, unable to move, and sky followed, stiff as a board upon her arrival, now wishing she had changed her clothing.

"Hello Skyler".

And before sky could say more she noticed another figure approaching and if the situation didn't make it obvious enough, the spider legs did. King Amir ArachFord striding his way next to the former queen, standing in place, looking rather nice all things considered, guards nearby holding gifts for most likely his wife as he looked at the group who had been waiting for their arrival.

Angel looked like he might actually have fainted.

"Hello Angelus.".

"Hello...fath...dad".

This was going to one hell of an awkward evening.

"We outta do this with fae more often...", janna smirked, way too pleased with herself as the mole man trembled in his seat just looking at fae. Ever since the girl had come into the room everything had gone from bad to worse, the lights broke, his chair broke, a rock fell from the ceiling and hit him on the head, he fell over a dozen times, it was eerie to say the least.

Something about the little girl was off, and yet somehow, the other small demon in the room seemed so unfazed, sitting and cheering her on.

In fact everyone was unfazed but him.

The downside to working with her was well, she was a wild card, there was a high chance something bad to could happen to any of them, though the difference was he was alone, they were not. Fae didn't want to accidentally hurt mason but she wanted his companionship in this situation, she would've felt way more uncomfortable without a face she was used to helping her out.

She had never considered her cruse to be much more then an annoyance at least, burden at worst, being asked to put it to use had been an...interesting idea she never considered before. Though she did feel a little uneasy interrogating anyone, she wasn't exactly sure about this guy much and even with her abilities and protection...who knows what her powers might do.

Might make things worse.

But janna seemed confident, jackie writing in her notepad as janna lured around their prisoner.

"You really voluntarily decided to work for a criminal? I mean i get the appeal and everything but you made a bad choice in working with the one who nearly hurt my kid", nearby jackie sighed and shook her head, janna never changed did she? "I mean, sure she's super scary and everything, but you didn't even think to turn her into us? Woulda saved us a lot of work".

"Look, i had no idea she was a criminal, i told you, our kingdom barely knew about all of this...ok? She showed up, needed a place to stay, i had that old chamber and she stayed...that was it".

"You knew she was doing bad stuff though", Jackie added, "Otherwise you wouldn't have reacted the way you did in the bar when the queens and king confronted you, you keep denying you knew the full extent but you clearly knew something more you haven't told us about...there's no way you didn't know something, she had a child locked up down there for hours...and you ran from us when we tried to arrest you...".

"Well i-".

"If you are as innocent as you claim you're certainly not making yourself out to look that way to any extent, you're better off confessing the truth then risk us going any further to scare it out of you...there's no point in defending this person so much". She sent him a cold glare that challenged those of even moon's as the man shook a little as a result.

" You have no idea how scared i was...how much she made me fear for my life, that she would never leave me be and would destroy me if i said or did anything, i meant no harm to anyone, but i had to worry for my own safety lest it have happened to anyone else i had known in my home". Jackie kept writing in her pad, "Sir, we are not trying to pretend you weren't afraid...but you could leave, you should've told someone".

"And what? Risk being killed? Even now if i say anything more i risk them bursting in here and destroying me, you lot can't protect me, you couldn't even protect your own castle. I'm better off shutting my trap and keeping quiet about what's going on then risking my own life. Even if...you have dangerous children around to scare info out of me...at least dying to her might be...less painful then whatever that magical horror might do", she didn't seem as sure on that last part but he shut his mouth tight.

Janna didn't seem to enjoy that, she didn't felt they were getting rather close on the whole matter, they'd been in here for hours at this point and had only gotten just a little of what they were looking for, and they needed so much more. They could already feel themselves getting hungry and they couldn't stay much longer, but they didn't want to leave like this, without what she had been looking for since the moment she entered this room.

He had to know something more that he wasn't sharing, he couldn't be this out of the dark like angel was.

Janna stood in front of him now, face in his face, she was good at scaring people in her kingdom but he wasn't from her kingdom...so it was unlikely he knew who he was messing with. She couldn't exactly hurt him, jackie was in the room after all and so were two kids, but she had a thing for mindgames and of course...hypnotism. So maybe she needed to try something else to get it out of him.

"Janna?".

"Hmm?".

"I don't like that look on your face, i know what it means", and indeed jackie had remembered it since they were really young kids, it was the kinda face that told her to be very mindful of janna's next few actions, otherwise she might get into a mess herself. It was also the face she tended to make before marco got themselves in a whole heck of trouble from her.

"What does it mean?", the man asked, a slight tinge of nervousness in his voice.

This of course, immediately made janna very happy, she might of finally had something.

"Oh well, you won't have to worry about that, not unless you talk to us", she drummed her fingernails on the table between them, "I mean, you don't wanna ask questions you don't want the answers to after all". He didn't want to show he was worried, but janna could sense it on him, so distracted he didn't notice fae's bad luck triggering a glass of water nearby to shatter, scaring jackie and the kids.

"You're bluffing".

"I'm one of the queens of mewni, if i want to make a threat, don't assume it always means i'm just bluffing, you'd be surprised the kinda people i've been able to crack...much tougher then you".

He appeared as if he wanted to say something in response to that but chose to keep his mouth shut instead. Janna seemed pleased at that response, though maybe she would've liked for him to challenge her, would be a perfect way to start scaring him. Jackie tugged on janna's shoulder, pulling her back, "Trust me when i say, she doesn't really tend to bluff...but she is also right...you might be better off admitting what you have on you...".

"I...I stated my reasons...i can't".

"Sir, this is to help protect tons of people, if you tell us what you know many people can rest well at night, we understand you are fearful, so are we...but this is important and you need to be brave for them", he paused a moment, thinking on her words, but he still shook his head. "Sorry, no can do...if i have to live in this prison for the rest of my life, i'll take that over meeting a gruesome fate".

He just wasn't going to budge, and they were just going to have to change tactics.

Janna looked to Jackie, still grinning and clearly asking permission for her to go wild on the man before them, and jackie...as reluctant as she was...knew she just wasn't going to be winning this one.

"Look, i'm not ok with you doing stuff like that, but as long as not actual physical harm comes to him, then it's worth a shot i guess...but i am taking the kids outside, they really should eat something and i don't think they should be apart of this if we're about to make things get a whole lot worse, and i definitely don't want whatever you do affecting them...so...fine". Her reply seemed to make janna even more excited, and the man more confused, clearly expecting violence to have been what janna was talking about.

"We're leaving?", mason asked, stretching his wings.

"Yeah, we're not going to stick around for this mess, trust me, you don't want to...", she left her notepad out for janna, her look stern. "Write anything of importance, don't lose it, and don't go too far...i mean, i know you won't make any promises for sure but i still at the very least want to make sure i say that.". She moved fae away from the scene, and gathered her sword nearby.

"So did i do a good job with this or-?".

"Fae, you did well, but you're still a kid, you need a break...time to let janna take over for a bit ok?", she headed them out of the heavily guarded and locked door as janna rubbed her hands together, mason spotted the man sweating as the door shut behind them. "Is janna gonna do what the crazy mask person did to Loki? take over his mind and make him speak?", it was odd for him to come out with it like that but he wasn't stupid.

"Kinda...yeah, but not exactly, she's not using magic".

"It's a lot like magic though, magic for the mind".

"I guess if you really think about it, it is a little like magic for the mind, but just remember not to mess with the minds of others for bad purposes, janna is doing it to help us out, and no damage should come to the man...but never use it to harm anyone ok?", sheesh, jackie didn't have any kids and yet she was so...mom-like, patting the two on the shoulder as they nodded.

"Miss Jackie?".

"Hmm?"

"Are you upset about...miss luna?".

This seemed to make her stop in her tracks, blinking at mason curiously, "Well um...i can't say i'm not, i mean she was my top student and imagining her as being an enemy this entire time is well...not quite...what i wanted to happen. Putting your trust in someone only for them to be arrested rarely leaves you with any sort of good feeling, but why are you asking?".

"Cause everyone seems to be really upset about luna, including both my brothers...", his wings feel to the floor, "Judas was pretty close to her and landon...well actually landon kinda doesn't like her but having her here still makes him upset...and you were one of the people who hadn't said much about her since she got here...so...i wanted to know".

"I guess considering she was my student...i probably should've had more to say about all of this...truth be told, i just decided maybe i should stay out of it. It seems like whatever is happening, it's something that more involves the queen and you kids then me, so i just do my job and keep to that, i don't add my own thoughts unless i'm usually asked when it comes to this".

"Why not?".

"Because usually it's not my place, some things you gotta stay out of, i'll be here to help you all whenever you need me, but i won't intrude on your personal feelings and drama like that...not unless you want me too, you guys are going through enough to also include me within all of that. You don't have to worry about me with all of this, ok? Worry about you".

"But i want to, besides, i don't want you to feel upset and left out too~".

She affectionately pet his head, fixing up his hat, "Thanks mason, it's nice of you to care about me, it is genuinely sweet of you." She fixed herself up and took fae's hand, "Hopefully whatever is going on with luna gets sorted out, i'm sure i'll be updated on her as time goes on...since her parents seem to be...unavailable, I'll kinda have to be in charge of her throughout this".

"So...you're kinda gonna be treated like her mom?".

"Basically".

If only she knew.

"Anyways, we'll come back for janna, after you both eat and get whatever else you need, you're been in there long enough anyways".

"Oh yeah, it's dinner time isn't it?", he'd been in there so long he hadn't been keeping track of the time at all, no wonder he was getting so hungry, his family had to have been already eating by this point. "Yeah, though just be careful when we get there, we have guests tonight, we don't want to be impolite or anything...after we eat i'll personally drop fae back to her home...honestly i'm surprised your parents are so...lenient".

"if it makes money, they don't care if i have to do out for a bit", she shrugged and said nothing more.

"You know, you might be unlucky, but people should treat you a little better...being unlucky isn't your fault", she didn't respond again to what she said but jackie swore she at least saw her eye move to look at her a bit, "You're more then just your luck, you're a very charming girl from what i can tell, you're honest, you're helpful, and you clearly care about your family to be trying to help them".

"It's fine, i don't mind being alone and everything, more time to...think and everything", mason stuck his head out to look at her but she still didn't look at either of them, "Mason's my only real friend, everyone is always turned away. Bad Luck, either i lose to them to it or they decided they no longer want to deal with it, it's something i'm just used to".

"Well that doesn't seem fair, friends should stick by through all the trouble you go through, you clearly mean no harm to any of them".

"But i can't blame them either, even now i have to warn people when i first meet them to stay away from me, just in case they might get hurt, mason only hangs with me because he's...not scared of me, he doesn't care...but other people do...i mean, i told him to stay away the first time i met him because i didn't want to be in trouble if he got hurt hanging around me".

"You really feel like this all the time?", now the woman looked extremely concerned, more like a mom then she had expected to be over this small child. "That sounds really awful fae, i'm so sorry you have to go through that at your age...you shouldn't have to be scared about hurting your friends at your age, you should be making friends and spending time with them whenever you can".

"Easier said then done", she mumbled.

"Well, now that i'm here in mewni, i'll see if i can help you make some friends, i train all kinds of knights of many different ages here, they're unafraid of any danger and maybe they're a good fit for you! They probably won't mind your bad luck at all". She seemed rather doubtful of any of that but it was the nicest thing anyone had said to her in a good while that didn't come from mason.

"If you say so".

It probably wasn't the exact answer jackie wanted to hear, but not the worst kind either, at least fae seemed midely interested. "Hey, if anything, back there was a pretty good audition for you, you know how to be intimidating and you're already good with horses, i'd say it might be a match made for you, but don't pressure yourself, it's ok if you don't want to".

Fae nodded.

"You don't have to invite me to all your royal meals or whatever, i'm not exactly royalty...", but she quickly felt mason's wing pull her into a side hug, "Doesn't mean we can't invite you, you're friends of royalty, so that's just as cool and just as much of a reason for you to eat with us". She let out a smile, not a big smile, but a genuine smile that only made mason more happy.

"Just make sure to be on your best behavior, with moon there and king arachford, we're in for one heck of a night", she informed as they made their way to the door, being let in by guards to see everyone else already seated. Mason already noticing his missing brothers right away, but not saying anything in case that might of been out of line, though star was quick to notice her wife's absense.

"Is janna still working?".

"Yeah, she had a few other methods she wanted to try out, she should be here soon, i took the kids though", mason and fae heading to open seats for them, the woman looking between everyone. "I really hope i didn't walk in on anything, i know we're rather late but things took a lot longer then we were expecting and he was rather hard to break somehow".

"Even with fae AND Janna?".

"Well considering we just now got here, what else do you think happened? If it had been that easy we would've been done hours ago, but while fae did scare him, he apparently is way more scared of...Her, threats against his life it seems, and as far as i can tell he's never seen their face, so janna's going to try a new tactic and you'll have to meet up with her after dinner depending how it goes".

Star wasn't used to Janna not being able to scare the living daylights out of anyone before, she just hoped her mom nearby wasn't taking it as another sign of imcompintence on her or janna's part. Jackie took her seat after saying hello to the former queen and helped herself as more food was being set out, mason looking over to sky as if asking why his brothers weren't here.

She mouthed to him from across the table that it was a long story.

She really wanted to go find judas, he had to be hungry as well at this point, but she knew he needed his space right now either, it just was on her mind right now. She was worried in what state she might find him in the next time she saw him, sure he'd dealt with a lot before but this whole thing broke down most of his world, there was no coming back from that easily.

She just didn't want him to be alone through it either.

But she had to just wait it out, through dinner, and well...there was plenty to distract her if she wanted to be distracted. Her grandmother had wasted no time in getting into her reasons for being here, as anyone would expect of her. Star of course being incredibly nervous the entire time, worried just what her mother might point out and fuss over and make things worse.

Star loved her mom, she was helpful and not always such a pain.

But she could feel the disappointment in her voice. She had never had so much trouble with anything in a long time, she could usually handle threats like this and yet this one seemed to doop her at every level, it didn't look good on any queen but especially not her. Moon couldn't complain too badly, she herself had been involved with scary threats and hadn't always known what to do.

But that didn't mean she didn't need help.

It became very clear she needed to get involved, whether star liked it or not, maybe having her there might ponder different results. She was already talking about their plan and discussing what she did and didn't like, clearly the idea of using a royal celebration as a trap was not exactly her favorite idea in the world, even if it had a decent chance of actually working.

But that didn't surprise Star, at all.

Of course Star wasn't the only one at the table with parental issues that were on the rise, Angel and his father had been silent all dinner so far, most of the conversation being had by the two butterflies. They both had mostly just sat and ate, though Sky swore the king had been eyeing her a few times, probably wondering exactly how their friendship had been progressing considering sky was indeed sitting next to angel.

Nora however, was trying to be as cheery as possible, even though she also seemed worried for judas. She clearly sensed the tension in the room and was trying to be as cheery as sunny was, but even sunny was talking more to galexia and was staying out of the argument. Marco and Tom were keeping to themsleves as well, it seemed moon brought a new atmosphere then it was before now.

One that kept everyone quiet.

Sky wanted angel to just talk to his dad but that wasn't something she could just make him do, it was one of those things that had to naturally happen and right now was far from natural, as sad as it was. She did feel they wanted to talk though, but maybe more in private, where there weren't so many people around to listen in or make things more uncomfortable then they already were.

They just kept...looking at each other.

She could only imagine what was going through their heads, the king had barely left his kingdom in what must've felt like forever for him and now he was dropped in the middle of his wife being revived, his son dealing with his issues, and moon overall. This could've been a happier meeting if things were just a little less tense right now for him and everyone else.

"It's good to see you sir".

That's when the king turned to Sunny, who was waving to him, he waved back smally.

Remembering the small girl who had spent time with his wife in what felt like so long ago, he didn't seem to know what he wanted to say though, but he coughed into his hand to not be impolite. "Well, i appreciate being invited, having globgor take over the kingdom for a little...it's nice, i was really happy to come over and...not have to deal with too much at the moment".

Angel sunk more into his seat.

"Well we're happy to see you too ! It's nice having new people come over for dinner! You look good!",

Leave it to sunny to know how to talk to people and make them feel super welcome, even in the most awkward of circumstances. He looked over his old suit and nodded, "Thank you, it belonged to my father, i wanted to look my best...for Arana, i didn't want her to wake and see me look like such a mess, though...i'm sure i will when she wakes up...i ugly cry".

"She's going to be so happy to see you and angel!".

"Yes...", he glanced over to his son, who wasn't making eye contact with him still, "I'm sure she will. though she has so much to catch up on, being in this state for so long...and she might not even completely be herself after she wakes...her mind...damaged, there's going to be so much work to do...but we'll try and manage the best we can...hopefully".

"I semi met her...in her mind", sky mumbled, "I mean i wasn't intended to do that, mom just wasn't good at making a barrier around her to warn me before i got sucked in, she seems...well...she seems like she's still really lovely, i know i never was close with her throughout everything, but...i hope when she gets up to get to know her a bit better".

He was smiling, feeling more comfortable among everyone in the room, even if the queens weren't paying attention, even tom and marco looked pretty happy.

Angel was still quiet though.

He was having a hard time breaking his silence to just talk and speak up, even though he had to, he needed to. But sky put a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, if you want to talk to him after dinner...it's ok, like don't force it or anything...or you might say something you might regret. No one is judging if you don't want to get into it at the table with a bunch of weirdos...".

He nodded, appreciative.

"You cooked a wonderful meal for my arrival, i really do appreciate the effort, though you didn't have to make any of my favorite dishes", and that resulted in sunny glancing to angel himself, smiling, "Hey, if it wasn't for your son, we might of had a harder time preparing for you, he knows what you like and what would mean a lot to you, he really valued making this dinner".

Angel blushed deeply at the comment, he shouldn't be so embarrassed about that, it just felt weird still to be...complimented...and to his father too.

His father seemed really touched at the thought, and that only made angel more flustered, this whole thing was going better then he expected.

"I'm sad to see young prince lucitor isn't here, i would've liked to see him again after the last time at the trial, but i assume with everything going on he probably has other responsibilities at hand", tom and marco looked at each other and sky readjusted herself in her seat, "Well uh...something like that, you're not completely wrong, you might see him later though".

"I also have no idea if i've said this before, but i want to thank you too princess", sky froze in her seat, the man folding his arms on the table. "You put yourself on the line for my son and you did help him get free of all of this...that was not something you had to do for him or my family, especially considering everything you had been put through, i really can't thank you enough".

"I mean, i mostly just winged it, i barely knew what i was doing but...thank you, you're super welcome", He then turned to angel, and nodded, "I must admit...i missed having you home, it's been a lot lonelier then before, you look...good. It's really nice to see you with good friends and having a good time, i wouldn't want you to be dealing with...our kingdom".

"How bad is it?", nora meekly asked.

"Let's just say going out right now is not a great option, not to say our people had no reason to be mad, but i feel they have gone too far. I think they really feared four our livelihoods after that trail, not just with the butterfly family, but if the person angel had betrayed would come back and kill us all as some form of retribution. I think you can say for sure angel isn't...popular there".

Angel was about to sink even further in his seat as his father talked more.

"However, they seem to have a soft spot for what sky, nora, and judas did...they've never seen our kingdom be so...defended before like that, the spiderbites especially. So perhaps something about your friendships do regress some of the anger." Nora blushed red as she instinctively grabbed her hair, "It's no problem at all, i just wanted to help...her and...".

He smiled gently at her, "Not once in our kingdom have we gotten so close with the others like that, i think while the people are mad they can't deny they really are impressed angel somehow managed to get the spiderbites to be on decent terms with us". Angel felt an ease of tension and anxiety, sitting a bit more up back in his seat, did he actually do something...right? And people liked it?

Sensing angel feeling a little better at the words sky interjected.

"Yeah, angel's been doing pretty great recently, i mean, don't get me wrong, he's pushed my buttons quite a few times and everything, but he's been pretty helpful and making a lot of progress. Like i really appreciated his help when i went through the castle to save one of my friends, he had my back the entire time...even though he didn't have to".

Angel was definitely less anxious, but now he and nora both were blushing at being praised so much.

"Angel was really involved during the underworld castle incident?", guess the man wasn't aware of his son being involved in it at all, and sky patted the spider next to her on the back. "Oh yeah he was, i mean at first i came in to save him, but then he stuck with me the entire time even though he was scared, it was honestly pretty cool of him to do".

Angel's father actually seemed to be rather impressed, not expecting these kinds of actions from his son before this point, angel had done very irrational things before this point but nothing noble and brave like this. Though the man did seem still upset about what happened before he did seem impressed about what he was seeing now, and angel felt he could breathe again.

"I-".

"It's ok angelus, we'll talk more about everything later...we have a lot of catching up to do".

Angel nodded in agreement, and the table felt slightly more at ease, not that the argument up front had stopped anytime soon. The women hadn't been paying any attention to the nice moment at all, star was still debating her mom on all her ideas and moon was very much still telling star off for not getting her involved sooner to clean up this mess.

This was the kinda thing that made sky hate family reunions, did all famlies have to fight like a bunch of idiots when eating dinner together?, Cause even judas's family did that at times and he got annoyed about it.

The sooner they got out of here the better.

Even the Lucitors were getting tired of it, Marco quickly standing up, actually starling the butterflies from their talk. They looked over to their husband and sighed, "I'm going to look for landon and celeste, maybe judas...if they don't want dinner we can bring it to them later. But we'll be having dessert soon and they still haven't shown up, so i'm going to check on them".

In the back of sky's mind though, she was sure it was half actually that, and half not wanting to be here and hear the adults argue.

But Tom stood up to, "Actually i'd like to join you, we might be able to save time by spreading out, they're my kids too.". Tom taking their partner's hand and kissing their cheek as they headed out with a wave to the kids in the room. They were smart on finding a way out of this situation, that was for sure, even angel and his father were looking for an excuse out but that wouldn't do.

They needed some permission, especially since this wasn't their castle and they were here as star's guests basically.

"-I'm just saying star, you should've taken these precautions after what happened with toffee, i know you're struggling hard here but this is all too much and it's gone on for too long and has gone too far. It's time you let someone else take the reigns, i have more military experience, so i should be able to help with some of my ideas, then we might be able to work further on this".

"Mom, we have a plan!".

"Star, plans aren't 100% You know that. There's so much you might have not even considered, and even if it did work, things can go wrong, what if they escape?", of course moon probably didn't know it but her words were beating sky down just a little. It had been her plan for the most part and she knew it wasn't even a great plan but gee, thanks grandma.

But she had a point, this was a serious situation, they couldn't afford to have a plan with possible holes or cracks in it either. Ddi they want to capture the criminal or lose another time? Sky felt herself mindlessly start playing with her food, her mind wandering during their argument. Angel mumbling under his breath, "i mean, i thought it was a pretty smart idea".

If judas couldn't be here, she was glad angel and nora were.

"Well then we'll make it work! It's a good idea mom, we need to lure them, that's the only way we're going to get anywhere!", star was determined on this one, she had to fight her mom on it, otherwise they might not get another chance. Not to say her mom's plans couldn't work, but the sooner they did this the better and who knew if they'd get as good an opportunity later.

"Star, i understand, but it's dangerous, imagine how many people will be there, in the line of fire too! Safety is important here, and if things go poorly we have a high chance someone won't make it", even though his name hadn't been mentioned at all, angel knew she was talking specifically about him. His heard his father grunt across from him, before finally getting the ladies's attention.

"I do have to agree about safety, this is a young prince's coronation after all, you are inviting an enemy onto troubled grounds. Luring them is a smart move but perhaps moon needs to modify the plan however she can", the thing was, they all agreed the plan would need to be worked on anyway, they knew it, but obviously star didn't want moon to be the person in charge of it either.

"Look, i know you don't want me here but i promise star, this won't be as bad as you think, the more minds the better to work on this. Soon enough we'll be able to breathe again and i can go back to resting, we're just going to have to work together and no amount of yelling at me is going to be making me go back into retirement", the queen sat back in her chair and star let out a huff of defeat.

"Fine".

"Since meteora is back i'll be talking to her later, i want to catch up on anything i've missed recently, because judging by all the faces at this table, i have missed quite a few details it seems", she glanced at sunny and galeixa, then to fae. Guess when it came down to it, they probably would be minor details to any average mewman hearing about all the crazy stuff going on with the criminal.

She smiled at the spider king, fixing her dress, "Sorry, i know we were talking awhile over there, nearly forgot we had a guest over your highness, as soon as we finish eating we'll take you to visit your darling arana, she should still be resting right star?". Star still looked rather mad as she leaned against her seat, but she complied to her mom's question, "Well yeah...but like...no promises what'll happen when she wakes...the spiderbites are sure she'll have memory issues no matter what".

"She will", nora mumbled, "Memories can be healed but...having us heal all of them...was unlikely with how quickly we figured out what was happening...but...maybe over time, things might work...at the very least...she's not near death now...", it was a plus, they could give her that. She wouldn't be the same as she was but she wouldn't be too gone either.

"You...think...she'll remember me?", the king muttered softly, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"I'm sure she will, her family seems to mean everything for her", she didn't honestly know at the end of the day, but she had to hope at least, she had been in her mind,

The door opened, and three figures entered, tom and marco back surprisingly quickly, but with a guest at hand. Judas was standing behind them, he didn't look great but he didn't look awful either. He must've been hungry though, as he didn't even look at anyone as he sat down to eat in silence. Even the spider king didn't get a look, the man shocked at the teen's demeanor.

He had never seen prince judas so...rough before.

Judas was usually a happy individual, making jokes and helping everyone around him. Now he looked to be too inside his mind to really focus on anyone in particular, he just wanted to get something in his stomach and head out to be back in isolation as soon as possible. Angel and Nora also looked deeply troubled, both wanting to reach out to the boy who was ignoring them.

Tom and Marco whispered to sky as they passed by, "We found him in a hallway nearby, he just wants to eat, give him his space...landon and celeste are still with luna". That didn't make sky feel any better though, judas seemed to have silenced everyone, even queen moon seemed a little stunned. She wasn't around that much but she knew enough to know this didn't sit right with her.

This was the prince who was supposed to be king soon, and not only that, but whose coronation was the center of their plan.

And here he was, looking like a depressed mess.

How were they supposed to casually have a conversation with judas like this?

Well to put it lightly, they didn't, the room was silent until judas finished eating and excused himself to go and sleep. His parents didn't even protest it at all, letting him leave the room before standing up a few moments later to drag landon and celeste over here. Both of them clearly having waited till they knew judas was a little whiles away before heading out as to not bother him.

It felt like without judas some soul had been ripped from everyone.

Even Sunny.

It said a lot when even she said nothing to him.

Judas came over to get some food and left without so much as a word, not to his friends, his family, anyone, it was the worst anyone had even seen him in a good while and it left everyone with a sense of dread and sadness.

It took a minute for anyone to even talk at dessert, and the one to actually break wasn't the person anyone had been expecting to speak first at all. A small cough coming from next to mason, Fae shoving chocolate cake into her mouth as she spoke. "Y'know, mason is super happy and everything and everyone talks about how cute he is, but honestly judging by how you all are, it seems judas is the one that usually makes everyone super happy when he enters the room...no offense mase".

"It's ok, i'm not mad".

No one argued against that, judas was pretty much a friend to anyone.

He really knew how to make everyone feel better about themselves, and be someone's shoulder to lean on, and stand up for everyone if he could. In some ways he was the life of the group, he kept everyone going even when they were breaking down. Sky bit at her lip, "I know we got stuff to do but...next chance we get...after he has some time...we should all be there for him...do something nice".

"I agree", they all looked to King Amir, who eyes his son, "He's a good kid, and he's done a lot for us as well, i would be happy to contribute if you wish to have my help. I would love to pay you all back as much as i can after everything you've done". Even though neither of them were in the room, tom and marco would be extremely grateful for the kindness once they heard about this.

Everyone cleaned up quick, most of them heading out to their room to sleep protected, though the spider monsters parted off to speak, moon and star were off to deal with their issues with janna included, and sky almost was out herself when marco quickly came running back. They seemed relieved to see her, panting, they looked a little panicked and that immediately didn't sit well with sky.

"Landon and celeste...they're not with luna?".

"They aren't?".

"And luna isn't in her room either!".

"Dad...there's a lot i want to say".

"I know, it's been on my mind since the trial, a lot has been on my mind, it's...really had me thinking", they closed the door behind them, angel taking a seat in the vacant room as guards blocked the door for them. "Don't assume i'm not mad, i am...even if i understand why, but i also could tell you were terrified...and...i can't be mad at you for something like that either", he paused for a moment, his ears twitching.

"I...haven't...been a great dad...have i?".

Angel didn't answer, but that was all he needed.

"Angelus, you disobeyed me horribly and put everyone at risk...but it's not just your fault...it's mine, i'm your father...i should've been keeping a better eye on you, should've been helping you deal with these issues and feelings and stopped comparing you to judas and sky and...it's clear i did hurt you. If i had done something sooner maybe i could've prevented something bad from happening, prevented you or anyone from getting hurt...i never really thought as hard as i should about the things you were going through...i expected you to just...be this or that, and all that seemed to do was turn you against me".

"But i didn't listen to you...you know that, i constantly skipped lessons and went out when you didn't want me too and even got myself hurt multiple times as a result...i would've protested anyway", he still felt guilty, if he had listened none of this would've happened in the first place. But his father went on, "Maybe, but that didn't mean i shouldn't have tried harder...i've been so overcome with grief...i've neglected you a bit...no...a lot. Ever since you stayed here i've had so much time to think to myself and...i screwed up, i know i did.".

Angel wanted to protest but he actually couldn't deny any of the words his father had been saying, his throat tightening. "Arana never would've wanted me to neglect you that way, not even for her...this entire situation was just as hard for you and...i didn't handle it in the ways i should have. No way that a dad should have, and i feel i should apologize to you directly, for any hurt i may of caused, we should've been dealing with this situation together...not apart...and i'm sorry".

Angel felt tears starting to wallop, as much ashe tried to hold them back, he then laughed a little in pain.

"I...Is it bad if i say i didn't expect you to come here and tell me you're sorry?", his voice felt cracky and he quickly cleared his throat, "I expected you to be upset with me...not want me to come back home, i was preparing to hear bad news even if sky was sure things might be different". His father didn't seem surprised by his words, he had probably been just as prepared for angel to lash out at him for leaving him.

And he wouldn't have been mad at him at all.

"I...reconsidered a lot, while we were separated...i'm not shocked at all you feel that way...you probably felt...i didn't care about you...thought of you as just an heir...and not my son, and...that was wrong of me to do...".

"And the people?".

"I want you back home angel, whether they do or not, you're still my only son, and you should still be allowed to come home and make a name for yourself, have a fresh start".

He stretched out his legs, all of them, his mind still processing his father's words. "How can i be sure things will be different? I don't want to go back there and have everything be the same, go back to being hated or alone...i'm worried things won't change for sure...i know i have changed, but that doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way".

"I know. i won't force it if you want to stay, i know you like it here".

Those words made angel feel more comforted, his father really was hearing him out, it was baffling. "Yeah, well, here is where my friends are and everything, i mean the citizens don't like me either but...at least i have friends". He tapped his fingers, his eyes closing, "But that doesn't mean i don't want to go back, if i could...i want both...i do want to be home...but i think this is also my home...".

"I understand, and i won't keep you from it...but if you want to go home, i think we can manage something...eventually", he paused, taking a seat next to his son and wrapping his cape around them both. "I think for now you will have to stay here, if even just to keep an eye on your mother, and until things are fully good back home...but I'll make sure to send you anything you want from home to make you more comfortable here...".

"I hope when i go back home, things will be a lot easier...i want to make things easier...to help, the kingdom, it deserves so much that i haven't given it", the king nodding, "I think you'll do great things...someday, we both have some learning to do...as kings and leaders. We...made a lot of mistakes...and it's going to take time to heal from them, but...i think we can".

"I...was willing to accept you didn't believe in me but...i like hearing it anyway", and angel shifted as his father hugged him, patting his bad and it seemed the man was even crying into his son's shoulder. "I...missed you...so much, more then i ever thought i could...it was alone without either of you...i want both of you back. I want something with you...i just...".

Angel's arms wrapping around him, enjoying the hug back.

"Thanks dad".

BOOM

The noise made angel's stomach drop.

Their nice moment interrupted by more noise coming from outside, angel getting up to check out the windows right away. The room they were in had a nice view of the courtyard of the castle and there he finally got view of what made the noise that drove him to panic. It seems somehow luna had gotten herself out of her room, and she was just...standing there...she wasn't trying to escape or fight or anything, but celeste was screaming at her, storm clouds starting to appear close by.

The booming of their thunder so loud it was impossible to miss.

Angel seemed really puzzled, what had been going on that he wasn't aware of this time?

But on closer inspection he could see sky down there, with judas's parents, trying to resolve the scene at hand before things go so much worse. Amir stood up to see what his son was looking at and then angel remembered his father didn't know about the uh...multiverse situation and seeing celeste accidentally perform magic was bound to be a bad idea, the boy quickly pushing his father away much top his confusion, "Incident in the courtyard...we outta get going".

Amir seemed skeptical that his son wasn't hiding something from him but followed angel regardless, just in case it was too dangerous for him to look.

And by the time they headed lower they found tom taking luna away back to her room and celeste and landon in marco's grasp, a tired sky nearby and nodding to angel, a sign they needed to talk later so she could explain further. "Sorry sir, seems we had a situation, er...the prisoner broke out and these two were um...handling it, you might of heard my son landon using magic a bit...i promise no one is hurt".

"Your fire powers can be that loud?", the king turned to the demon, who didn't respond, his face embarrassed and mad, but at least the king seemed to be buying the excuse.

"You'd be surprised", marco said with a cheeky smile, "We're one scary dimension for a reason after all".

"Well in that case, i'm glad you handled it, i got worried for a moment, the noise startled me and i thought something bad had happened".

"No no sir, it's alright, promise, landon will just be more careful next time".

It was a smart cover up, even if the idea of fire sounding a lot like thunder was a bit odd. The king just shrugged, and noticed the young prince and princess looking at each other, coughing to excuse himself. "Well angelus, i'm going to see your mother...you can come and join me later...alright?". Angel smiled back, "Thanks, i'll see you later", before his father left with guards right behind him.

Marco nodding their head to head to the nearby closet, the kids still in his clutches.

"What happeend?".

Sky snorted, "Celeste tried to challenge luna to a duel, that's what, not that it worked, luna didn't even fight, she just...stood there". Celeste grumbling under her breath, "I wanted her to face me for betraying us how she did...that's it...she said yes, we were only supposed to be out for a few minutes, but then she didn't...do anything, she stood there...she made me feel like a fool".

"She stood there?".

Landon shrugged, "I guess she changed her mind about the duel...", though it seemed there was more to it and under his mom's watchful eye he confessed. "I'm sorry i was hoping they'd reconcile or something, i wasn't trying to get anyone to start a fight or anything, i couldn't even convince her not to, she and luna pushed me back from it all...ok?".

At first marco wasn't sure whether to believe that but celeste added on.

"He's right...he...wanted me to go and get along and i just...look...i'm just angry ok? I just want her to apologize or something or just feel bad...i hate her stupid smug looking face and how she is to everyone...i'm so sick of it". She looked like she might break into tears, "I didn't mean to worry anyone or anything i just...i'm so tired of being walked over...".

"Celeste...hey...it's ok", Marco sighed, "Look, i know i'm not really your parent here but...maybe you need to talk to some adults about...your anger...like tom...if it's really taking over your life like this you need to seek some help". She sniffled and they pet her hair, "You should not have done any of that, ok? But it's ok, we'll deal with it from there...and get this sorted out".

"Did luna say much about what went on down there?".

Marco shook their head, "We'll talk about it later, i'll take landon and celeste with me...you both are expected to go see arana so you should head there, guarded of course, perhaps you can sort some stuff out on the way in terms of our next steps...but for now i'll see you both later...and take good care of each other. Oh, and make it back to sleep soon, ok?".

They both nodded, heading on their way to see arana, watching celeste and landon be wandered off like naughty children.

"Those two...every time"., sky shook her head, "Celeste needs help, i just hope she can get some...this all hasn't been much better on her". Angel's ears twitching, "We're losing people...aren't we? Judas, luna, celeste...we're falling apart a little...and right before we're supposed to react a plan too, what happens if we can't get everything ready or fall apart before this?".

"I don't know.".

That was the honest truth, she didn't know, it was all out of her control, but if things didn't get better there was no way they'd get this plan to even work. They'd be doomed before the plan even started. How much longer before she and angel cracked? Nora? Even sunny or lexi? She felt a bit of unease, she was now the leader or this group and said group was now falling apart.

"I'm going to keep up together...we have some healing to do...but i think we can do it...but...first...we should go see your mother, we can deal with it later...when it's a good time to do so", angel nodded to her, "Judas...helped me, a lot, and i want to return the favor to him. I...I don't know how exactly i can do that for what's going on but...i'm willing to try".

"You don't have to y'know?".

"He's my friend, and so are you".

She appreciated that, "It's not going to be simple sadly, the arm thing has been apart of his life for years, he's not going to be over it so quickly. It's kinda a lot to process...i mean, he had so many nightmares as a kid because of it, it ruined his life...he might feel like...it's all his fault for what happened and not...y'know, that it isn't his fault that no one knew".

"Yeah...i'm sure it will be".

They were contemplating what they could do and what might help as they made to what was now arana's own private room near the wing, upon special request by her husband to keep any onlookers from bothering her. Honestly, sky was happy not to have to keep going into that wing, some privacy was nice, the door opened for them and the guards standing outside.

"You're here!", the king was delighted to see them, still holding his wife's hand, "I wasn't sure how long it might take for you to join me, but i'm happy you're here, come, sit with me...she's moving...". He nodded to seats nearby, the teens making themselves comfortable. "When i see the Spiderbites i'm going to owe them so much for this, i never thought i'd even see her so...lively again".

"Well they're stuck here with us. so you'll get a chance i'm sure".

He was still occupied with his wife though, "I...have so much i want to tell her, but...i can't, not right away anyways...she's going to need time when she wakes up, her mind was so...damaged...but i promise once i can i'll make sure she knows everything she can and i'll make sure we celebrate her recovery. I could not have asked for a more...wonderful gift".

"In all fairness...it was partially dumb luck".

"You call it dumb luck, i call it fate", he pet the queen's hair gently, "You will always be welcome in my kingdom, princess".

"Well right now i can't even go within a few feet of your kingdom but thanks a lot, maybe we'll get to hang out...after everything rests." Her attention drawn to angel, "Besides, he still owes me a hangout to make up for the mess he put me through, so we'll try and get that done first before we make too many promises right now". she bumped angel next to her, who coughed.

"Oh yeah, right...thanks for reminding me again, all of this distracted me a bit".

"Whatever, as long as it's nothing crazy...the party is gonna be crazy as is...", she grumbled, her voice filled with dread.

"Perhaps you can accompany my son for jude's coronation...", the king piped up, looking between the two, "i assume you were planning to do that anyway, but I think he could use the company...he hasn't been allowed to really go to a party like this in years, and it might help to have someone around to well...watch over him and get him back into the swing of things".

Sky never considered this was angel's first party in a long time, maybe that's another reason he was nervous.

"Yeah sure...of course...as long as he doesn't go wild", she was joking of course but who could say for sure angel wasn't secretly a party animal now for all she knew. Angel laughed and in the moment things seemed easygoing and rather nice for all the stress of earlier, it had been such a long time since the entire arachford family had even been in the same room together.

Much less happy together.

Angel felt finally as if the butterflies had left his stomach fully, his stress about his dad gone.

But then a noise caught the attention of the group, interrupting the moment for them. Their first instinct was to turn to look at the queen, and sure enough, the noises were coming from her directly, she was stirring and it no one has seen her making noises like this in a while, especially with how silent these days she had been. It was a small breathe, then a whimper, then it almost sounded as if she was trying to speak some words, not that they could tell what the words actually were.

Then movement, the queen was stirring even more, startling everyone in the room further, the grip on the king's hand tightening. His mood was shifted, as if worried something was wrong for a moment, only for her legs to start moving as well. Her eyes started shifting around the room, her ears wiggling before she turned her head to face the group.

This was the most movement she had done in awhile and it had caught them entirely off guard.

"A-arana?".

She jolted again, her face shifting a bit more as she looked over the faces of her guests with a softness they hadn't seen in a long time.

"Angel?".

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #sky and the forces of the multiverse #star butterfly #tom the demon #tom lucitor #marco diaz #marco #janna ordonia #jackie lynn thomas #moon butterfly #janstar bby #tomstar bby #starkie bby #starco bby #tomco bby #fanfiction #my art

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thecassadilla · 3 years

Text

Somewhere Only We Know

Pairing: Kristanna

Word Count: 4,202/AO3

Summary: Jealousy rears its ugly head as Anna and Kristoff each bring a date to a charity gala.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! This is my contribution for Kristanna Week Day 4 - Green! It’s a bit of a doozy in terms of length XD The title comes from the Keane song of the same name (I was in the midst of a Grey’s Anatomy binge while writing this lol). Enjoy!!!

As Kristoff sat in his car outside of the banquet hall, he wondered how he’d gotten himself into this situation. Donning a suit, and waiting for his “date” to arrive, he contemplated leaving and never looking back. Truth be told, if it wasn’t for Anna’s sister giving him a job with her company, he wouldn’t be here. And truth be told, he only accepted the job because it meant he’d get to stay close to Anna.

Luckily for him, Anna would always come to his office while he was hard at work and the other employees were packing up for the day. She’d perch herself on the edge of his desk, cross her ankles and fold her hands in her lap while she patiently waited for a sliver of attention from him. When he was finally able to give her the attention that she desired, she’d always brag about her weekend plans or the dates she was going on. He tried his best to play the role of the “supportive best friend who definitely wasn’t in love with her,” despite the fact that that notion couldn’t be farther from the truth; he’d had feelings for her for years and had never found the courage to act upon them. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, because he was certain his feelings were unrequited.

The day she’d brought up the gala was different, though, and he recalled their conversation in his head.

“Hey, sorry for staying late again, I just have one more thing to do and then I’ll leave.”

“I’m not here to scold you for staying late - although you probably should go home. I just wanted to let you know that you’ll be sitting at mine and Elsa’s table at the gala.”

He looked over at her for a split second before dragging his eyes back to his work. “I’m sorry, did you just say that I’m sitting at the CEO’s table at a charity gala?”

“Yes,” she confirmed.

“I should be sitting with the other people in my department, no?”

“Well, we were friends before you started working here, so you’re sitting with us.”

“Great,” he muttered, trying to focus on the numbers in front of him. “Now they’ll all have a real reason to hate me.”

“If anyone hates you, you can refer them to my sister.”

He shook his head, sighing.

“Anyway,” she continued in a sing-song voice, “I just need to know if you’re bringing a guest or -”

“Yes,” he cut her off mid-sentence, without thinking about the repercussions.

“You are?”

“I’m allowed to, right?”

“Of course,” she answered in a strained voice. “I’ll be sure to put down that you’re bringing a guest.”

She hopped down from the desk and made her way to the door without saying another word.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, tearing his eyes away from his work and looking over at her. She normally waited for him to finish so they could walk out together.

“Yeah, uh...I have plans to meet up with someone.”

“Oh, okay. Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

What brought him back to reality was the sight of a car pulling into the spot next to his. He glanced over to find that it was his date, Lauren - who also happened to be his happily-married neighbor. Lauren and her husband, Matt, were the only people who knew about his feelings for Anna, and he often went to them to vent or seek advice. He went to them the same day that Anna came into his office so he could complain to them about about running his stupid mouth.

“Okay, so there’s this stupid charity gala thing coming up at the end of the month. I don’t want to go, but I’m kind of obligated because of the job thing.”

“Uh huh,” Matt nodded.

“And today, Anna came into my office, like she always does, and told me that I’m not going to be sitting with my department, but with her and her CEO sister. And she asked me if I’m bringing a date, which I said ‘yes’ to without even thinking.”

Lauren and Matt exchanged a glance. “What exactly is the problem?” Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t have a date!” he exclaimed. “I lied about having a date, and Anna is going to have a date, because she’s Anna and she always has a date.”

“Maybe the reason Anna always has a date is because you’d rather complain about her having dates than actually ask her on a date.”

“You’re really not helping.”

“You seem...desperate,” Lauren commented.

He picked his head up and looked over at her. “Do you think it’s too late to get out of it? I could just...not show up, right?”

“Or you could go and just bring a date.”

“Where am I going to find a date?” he scoffed.

“I’ll go with you,” Lauren offered. “It may be my one and only chance to actually meet the object of your affections otherwise known as Anna.”

A set of fingers tapping on his window snapped him out of the flashback. Lauren was standing there, motioning for him to step out of the vehicle. With a sigh, he opened the door and climbed out.

“Thinking about making a run for it?” she teased.

“Sort of,” he answered. “Thanks again for doing this.”

“If I wasn’t so eager to meet the woman you’re in love with, I would’ve have even offered,” she laughed before motioning to her long black dress. “I had to dig this out of my closet. I’m surprised it still fits - I wore it years ago when I was a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. I think it’s the only dress I own aside from my wedding dress.”

He blushed at her mention of his feelings for Anna, but decided to brush it off. “You look great.”

“You don’t look too bad, yourself.”

“Thanks.”

“Now, what’s the angle I’m working with here? Do you want me to give her the third degree?”

“I think you should be yourself,” he said.

“Where’s the fun in that? It’s not like these people will ever see me again.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on, we should go inside.”

The hallway of the venue was bustling with activity, but he was able to locate their seating card right away.

“I’m going to run to the restroom to put on my lipstick and I’ll be right back,” Lauren said after they arrived at the empty table.

As Kristoff looked around the crowded room, he thought for a split second that he’d be able to survive the party and go on with life as usual. Until he spotted Anna and forgot how to breathe.

She was radiant in a long, satin, emerald green a-line dress that hugged the top half of her body and flared out at her hips, only accentuated by a slit that ended mid-thigh. Her hair fell in loose curls that framed her face and her lips were painted a stunning, dark red. A pair of pearl earrings adorned her ears and a matching necklace hung from her throat, but the most noticeable accessory was the arm of the man she had brought as her date, which was interlocked with hers. His jaw tensed up and he was grateful that she wasn’t yet looking in his direction, because his face would certainly give away how envious he was feeling.

But of course, as soon as she saw him, she was rushing over, dragging her handsome mystery guy along.

“Oh Kristoff!” she exclaimed, pressing her cheek to his and making a puckering noise. “You look so handsome!”

“Stop it,” he blushed. “You look stunning.”

“Thank you,” she gushed, looping her arm around the man’s. “I’m being so rude! Kristoff, this is Brian. Brian, Kristoff.”

Brian extended his hand out and though he hesitated for a moment, Kristoff eventually reached out and shook it.

“Nice to meet you,” Brian smiled.

“Same here,” Kristoff said, though he was focusing on the other man’s features; dark hair, beard, glasses.

“So, where's your date?”

Anna nudged him. “Brian -”

Kristoff cut her off before she could finish. “Lauren? She’s around here somewhere.”

He swore that he saw Anna’s face twitch, but he convinced himself that it was just the strobe lights playing tricks with his eyes.

She smiled then, he was certain of that, and patted Brian’s arm. “You haven’t seen Elsa around, have you?”

He shook his head. “Can’t say that I have.”

“I should probably go find her. We’ll see you in a little bit.”

Before he could utter another word, they were shuffling away, and he breathed a sigh of relief. A moment later, Lauren tapped him on the shoulder from behind.

“Horrible timing,” he remarked.

“What’d I miss?” she laughed.

“Anna came over, with her date.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Hey, how’s it going?” Ryder interrupted, his voice startling them.

“Hey,” Kristoff replied, shifting to face him.

“Who’s this?”

“I’m Lauren,” she answered for herself, reaching out her hand.

Ryder grinned widely and shook it enthusiastically. “Wow, I can’t believe you brought a date.”

Kristoff glared at him but just as he was about to open his mouth, Lauren refuted the younger man. “Where’s your date?”

“Oh, I don’t -” he started, before throwing his hands up in surrender. “I’m really only here as moral support for my sister’s girlfriend.”

“Speaking of, have you seen your sister? Or Elsa? I know Anna was looking for her.”

“Elsa’s probably in the bathroom, puking or something and I’m sure Honey is with her,” he shrugged. “Speaking of Anna, have you seen her date?”

“You should probably talk less and smile more,” Lauren proposed, immediately sensing Kristoff’s discomfort. “It’ll keep you out of trouble.”

“Whoa, was that a Hamilton reference?”

“Ryder,” Kristoff warned, grabbing his attention. “Just...keep it cool, okay? We’re all adults here and this night isn’t about us.”

“I have a feeling that this dinner is going to be very interesting,” he remarked, before taking his seat at the table.

“He’s right,” Kristoff murmured to Lauren. “He’s going to be the only normal one at the table, and that’s saying something.”

“You should really take your own advice, you know. Keep it cool.”

He motioned to the group that was approaching their table; Elsa and Honeymaren holding hands in ice blue and beige gowns, respectively, and then Anna and Brian, whose arms were still linked. “Here they come.”

“Holy sh*t, why didn’t you tell me they were all literal goddesses?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Look at them, all tall and leggy and gorgeous,” she said. “They’re supermodels and I didn’t even bother to dye my roots!”

“What happened to keeping it cool?” he teased. “And you look great.”

“Hi,” Anna said once they’d reached the table. “You must be Lauren.”

Lauren smiled. “I am. And you are?”

“Anna,” she answered, her face falling. The two women exchanged a simple handshake. She didn’t bother to introduce Brian, who took his seat at the table, and instead kept her attention on Lauren. Without skipping a beat, she asked, “How do you and Kristoff know each other?”

“We live in the same apartment building,” Lauren explained. “Kind of hard to ignore a guy as big as him in the laundry room. How do you know Kristoff?”

Anna glanced over at Kristoff, as if she had expected him to have told Lauren this stuff in previous conversation. “We’ve been friends for like, ever,” she smiled tensely before looking at him again and clearing her throat. “Really good friends.”

“I was kind of asking how you met,” Lauren chuckled.

“Oh. We met in college. He didn’t want to be bothered and I just...kept bothering him.”

He smiled at the memory of her insisting on sitting next to him in class while he was trying to be invisible. His first impression was that she was a little too perky, but that opinion vanished within a week when he realized how charming and friendly she was. She had had nothing but good intentions, after all.

Anna, on the other hand, seemed to be out of character in the present moment. He was having trouble reading her face as well as he normally could, but something seemed off about how she’d responded to Lauren; he couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or resentment or something else. He became worried that this event would be the straw that broke the camel’s back in terms of their friendship, and he couldn’t imagine his life without Anna in it.

For most of the night, the table was tense and unusually quiet. In between the dancing and speeches, there was little socialization with the exception of Ryder, who was relishing in the ability to be the center of attention for a few minutes at a time. He was vaguely aware of the fact that his eyebrows were drawn tightly together and his jaw was clenched as he watched Anna and Brian whisper to each other. Whenever Anna wasn’t speaking, he caught her looking over in his direction, lips pursed.

“She looks like she’s trying to choke back vomit,” Lauren whispered at one point, looking in Anna’s direction. “Is she okay?”

“I have no idea, she’s normally very talkative. I’m worried about her.”

“Ask her if she’s okay.”

“No, Brian is next to her. She’ll tell him or her sister if something’s wrong.”

Towards the end of the night, the dancing resumed once again, and thankfully, Lauren was as disinterested as Kristoff was, so they hung back at the table while everyone else departed.

“Is it always like that with them?” Lauren spoke up as soon as the others were out of ear shot. “Tense and awkward?”

“No,” Kristoff answered, shaking his head. “I have no idea what that was about. Especially Anna - on a normal day, she’d talk your ear off.”

“She really didn’t look well. Something is eating her alive and I have a feeling that I know what it is.”

“Huh?”

“Is it possible...and just, hear me out -”

“What?” he asked, impatiently.

“Is it possible that the reason she parades all of those guys around you is because she wants attention from you?”

He looked at her solemnly, unable to muster up a response. He shrugged instead of answering.

Her face softened. “Something is not being said here.”

“I don’t know, Lauren. I really don’t know.”

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but the only way to resolve this is to talk to her. And to be honest, about everything.”

“Yeah, but what if it goes horribly wrong?”

“What’s the absolute worst that happens? You quit your job and stop talking to them? You have a very employable job and you’re a good-looking guy - the ball is in your court no matter which way it goes.”

As if on cue, Anna appeared behind them. “Uh, Lauren, I hope you don’t mind me asking to take your date away, but Kristoff promised me a dance,” she said, before looking at Kristoff and adding, “If you’re up to it.”

He nodded - even though he was certain they’d never talked about sharing a dance - and moved to stand up, before Lauren placed a hand on his arm. “I’m actually going to head out now. I have work in the morning and I should go home and get some sleep.”

“Of course,” he said softly. “Do you want me to walk you to your car?”

“Don’t worry about it,” she answered. She stood up, then, and he quickly followed suit. “It was really nice to meet you, Anna.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Anna whispered as Lauren walked away.

Kristoff held out his arm, and she looked up at him for a moment, as if she were unsure of what to do before finally accepting. They walked quietly to the dance floor, and once there, they locked their hands together. Anna draped her free arm around his shoulder and his free hand fell to her waist as they began to sway back and forth.

“Did you have fun tonight?” he asked.

“Not really,” she admitted. “But it was really great to see you with Lauren, she’s a really nice girl.”

“Anna -”

“I did promise myself that I would be honest, though,” she said, meeting his gaze. Her eyes were brimming with tears, threatening to spill over at any moment. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t positively green with envy the entire time.”

“What?”

“Oh, come on,” she retorted, a hollow laugh escaping her lips. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t notice.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You came with Brian -”

“Brian’s my friend,” she confessed suddenly, cutting him off mid-sentence. “I’m not interested in him at all and I only asked him to come with me because you didn’t ask me.”

“I didn’t know that you wanted me to ask you.”

“I tried to make it obvious, but you said you were bringing someone and you brought Lauren, so clearly you weren’t going to ask me anyway.”

“Lauren is married.”

“She - what?”

“She’s married. She lives in my building, and I watch football with her husband. There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Oh,” she croaked, gripping his jacket tightly in her hand.

“I think we…I think we need to talk.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, a single tear rolling down her cheek. He reached up to brush it away, allowing his hand to linger for a moment and she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply.

“Did you drive here?”

“No, Honey drove me.”

“Do you want me to drive you home?”

She shook her head, lip quivering. “I don’t want to go home.”

“You can come back to my place,” he assured her. “We can talk there.”

She nodded, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and walked her toward the exit, not bothering to say goodbye to any of their friends. When they reached the glass doors that led to the parking lot, it became apparent that it was torrentially raining outside.

“Wait here, I’ll go get the car.”

“It’s fine.”

“You’re going to ruin your dress,” he said, but it was too late. She pushed the door open and stepped out into the torrential rain, instantly soaking her dress and hair. With a sigh, he followed her out and pointed in the direction of his car. “I parked over there.”

By the time they made it to his car, they were drenched from head to toe.

“I’m going to put the heat on so we can dry off a little,” he said, before reaching inside the center console and pulling out a stack of napkins. “Here, so you can wipe your face.”

She sat motionless, strands of her dampened hair clinging to her face for a moment, before finally accepting one and wiping her face. The ride back to his apartment was silent, and the second walk in the rain was equally as unpleasant as the first. The water dripping off of them left a trail in the carpet and puddles in the elevator, and he was relieved when they finally made it to his apartment. She kicked off her heels at his front door, and he did the same with his shoes and socks.

“I’ll get you some dry clothes, okay? And you can take a hot shower to warm up.”

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he insisted. “I can go after you.”

She gave him a small nod and he led her into his bedroom. He retrieved a clean, dry set of clothes that she could wear, fully aware that they would swamp her petite body, and laid them on the bathroom counter along with a few clean towels.

As soon as the door closed and the water turned on, he stripped off his own clothes, exchanging them for dry ones. He wouldn’t be able to take his suit to the dry cleaners until tomorrow, so he’d have to hang it from the shower rod and hope that it wouldn’t somehow be ruined overnight.

She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, a towel wrapped around her head, and he smiled at the sight of it. As predicted, his clothes were hanging off of her, but she looked quite adorable. “I’m going to jump in, I’ll be out in a few.”

As promised, he showered quickly, relishing the comfort of his dry clothes. He made sure to hang Anna’s dress from the curtain rod in addition to his suit. When he emerged from the bathroom, he found Anna sitting on his bed, and he took a seat next to her. They were quiet for a long, long time, and he worried that this was going to be the end of everything for them.

“I talk about you,” he said, finally breaking the silence.

“What?” she asked, her voice wobbly.

“I know Lauren made it seem like I never talk about you, but I do,” he confirmed. “A lot. I think Lauren and her husband know more about you than they know about me.”

She sniffled. “That’s so nice.”

“And I...I would’ve asked you if I had known that was what you wanted.”

“You didn’t…” she started, before closing her eyes and letting out a shaky breath. “It’s not your fault. I could’ve asked you, or I could’ve - there are so many things I could’ve said or done.”

He shook his head. “You said you were being obvious about it -”

She cut him off mid-sentence. “You were working and I was bothering you.”

“No, you weren’t bothering me. You never bother me. I jumped to conclusions,” he admitted, hanging his head. “I thought the reason you brought up the charity gala that day was because you were rubbing in the fact that you had a date. You always have dates. To quote Lauren, you’re a goddess. It isn’t that hard to believe that men are throwing themselves at you.”

She sighed, trying to maintain her composure. “Kristoff, I know that I always talk about my plans, but I don’t go out as often as I’ve led you to believe. In all honesty, I was trying to make you jealous.”

“It worked,” he frowned. “I never said anything because I wanted you to be happy. And I believed that if you viewed me as the type of person that you could share stuff like that with, then you wouldn’t be interested in me as anything more than a friend.”

"Tonight, I got a taste of my own medicine and I can't say I didn't deserve it. Watching you with Lauren - well, there was a part of me that was happy you found someone, but I wished it was me. I wished that I was Lauren, and that you were paying attention to me, and whispering in my ear, and touching me."

"How do you think I felt all this time? Every time you were bragging about a date? Or even tonight, when you brought Brian?"

“I’m really sorry,” she whimpered. “We wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for me.”

He exhaled deeply. “I think we’re both equally to blame.”

“How did we get to this point? How do we fix this?”

He hesitated for a moment before answering. “I think we both have to be honest about what we want. No more lying, no more games, no more trying to make the other person jealous.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and wiped away a fallen tear before saying, “I want you.”

“And I want you.”

“So we both want the same thing? We can be together?”

He smirked. “I think it would be foolish if we didn’t get together.”

She smiled genuinely for the first time that night, before asking in a small voice, “Can I stay here tonight?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

They crawled to the top of the bed and nestled under the covers after he turned out the lights, a safe distance between them until Anna spoke up. “Will you hold me?”

“Come here,” he said, opening his arms.

She curled up against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, determined to keep her safe and warm. He certainly hadn’t expected that this was how they would end their night, but he was so glad that it had gone in this direction. The alternative - the one he feared would happen - where their friendship would end and there’d be nothing left but broken hearts and falling tears was much scarier. Now, there was no more jealousy and no more fabrications, just the simple-yet-complicated thing they had between them. And he selfishly hoped they could stay this way forever.

“I really missed you tonight,” she said. “I missed talking to you, and spending time with you, and I never want to go through that again.”

He tightened his grip on her. “I missed you, too.”

“Don’t let me go, okay? Please?”

“Never,” he promised, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. And he intended to keep that promise for as long as she’d let him.

#kristannaweek2020 #kristanna week 2020 #kristanna #anna #kristoff bjorgman #frozen #frozen fic #my writing

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lovelythenabeana · 3 years

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Okay so I've been writing recently and started a story it's by no means good but thought I'd share the first uh 2 chapters? Idk if there chapters lol. But here's

Meet me at the greenhouse

*Rose’s pov*

It's Move in day for university. Wow, am I nervous. I haven't met my roommate yet, they were out of the country at the time. Her name is willow harris. I know nothing about her. The advisor of the room and board didn't even give me her phone number. So it'll be a surprise i guess? I wonder if she's nice. Her name is pretty. Oh god I hope I don't fall for her. I moved in early this morning. I wanted to get it done and over with and just take in the new environment. Being an actual adult, away from home. This is gonna be an adventure huh? I already miss my best friend, katie. I told them that they better come visit me sometime. See the life at this crazy uni. I don't know if they will though.

*slam*

oh my god is that her!? I jump up and head to the door to check.

“Hi!” this tall, pretty, very pretty, girl says. In an accent? Oh is she british!?

“Hi?” I say walking towards her. “You must be willow?”

She plops her bags on the ground.”why yes i am! nice to meet you” willow scopes out the room.

“So you're from out of the country?” I ask. What a dumb question to ask. Duh she has an accent idiot. Off to a great start rose.

“Yep! I'm from the UK, London to be exact. it's quite different here” she hangs up her furry? Coat. wow is that fuzzy. How do people wear fuzzy coats. They make me sweat like a pig.

“This is a nice flat isn’t it? It had big windows for the sun to bless us and our plants! And omg what a view we get!” Willow opens the window “blessing” us with fresh air and that damn sunlight. So people all over europe use the word flat instead of apartment or dorm. Huh. interesting.

“Uh yea it's okay I guess. It's just the view of the courtyard '' I head to the other window and look out. I mean it's nice but I'd rather have a view of the mountains or something to see nature, not people. Oh my god. But you can see the humongous greenhouse from here. That's how you know it's big because it's on the other side of campus.

“So youre rose huh? It's neat we both have plant names. We can be known as the PLANT ROOMMATES!!” willow is so enthusiastic about this.. How can someone have soooo much energy. Dang i wish i had that. Instead I either feel too alive or not alive at all.

“Yea maybe they made us roommates because of our nature names” i chuckle.

Willow sits on the edge of the window sill. Oh. my god she's so freaking pretty. Her hair is so natural. Real. It's long, medium brown. Omg virgin hair?! Woah. she's tall, at least taller than me, i’m 5’5. Her style is so cute. Her eyes are a greenish blueish mix?. You can get lost in those forest starry eyes. Her smile is radiant. Frick, I can't fall for my roommate. That's like a BIG no no. How can she be so pretty and melt my heart. Am i already falling for her?

*Willows pov*

Wow what a brilliant place. There's so much greenery. Oh my goodness. IS THAT A GREENHOUSE I SEE?! I must explore that. Ooo i wonder if there's bamboo or mushrooms ro Geraniums or cranes bill or omg petunias oh i wonder if there's a variety of trees on this campus like birch or willows or maples or oaks! Ah i love plants. There just so intriguing! Right but thats not whats important right now.. First day at a new place! Rose seems cool and nice. Her hair is a crazy color! Its like this purplish color and it is bright. But it is pretty. Shes wearing a graphic tee that says “queer all year”. It looks reallllly comfy. She's also wearing shorts with some tears in them and some white socks with a rainbow design. Omg is that a TATTOO. She has small lavender tattoo on her forearm. Its so pretty! She must love plants too! We're gonna be the best of friends! Shes pretty cute too. Niceeee.

“Is that a greenhouse i see! Do you wanna go check it out with me?” i turn towards rose whos looking out the window.

“Hm id kinda want to unpack first, can we afterwards?” rose looks down at her feet. Why is she doing that?

“Yea of course! We can adventure after we put our belongings away” i pick up my bags and head to the bedroom. This dorm has 3 different rooms. The bedroom, the living area, and the bathroom. Its way better than the flat at home. The bedroom is a lot bigger than i thought it would be. In the american tv shows and movies ive watched they rooms were rather small and the beds were tiny. In this room we have full sized beds and a lot of space. Dang these dorms are fancy. I guess thats what i should have expected for it being a fancy uni. “So what major are you rose?” i turn to see rose pulling out a flag and some posters.

“Biology, i’ve always been in love with plants, because of my name people always gifted me books about flowers, so i want to become a botanist.” she turns towards me. “How about you, whats your major?” omg roses major is biology… TWINSSS.

“I’m a biology major too! Atleast for four years until i can go into veterinary school.” eeee we can study together and omg we could have class together and we could do lots stuff as best friends eeeeeeeee. “Omg we can be best friends AND study buddiessss!!”

Rose gives me a odd look. “Heh greeaat” she gets baack to unpacking

Maybe she doesnr like me...am i being too much?

#meet me at the greenhouse #my story #yea its trash bht its my trash #writting

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bluepenguinstories · 3 years

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Remoras Full Chapter XXXIX: Nun the Wiser

Through the still silence and the lack of temperature (despite its location geographically, inside the fog was a feeling of neither warmth nor frozen cold, but just dead air) within the mist-filled landscape I made my way into hell. As if a lighthouse beacon, the orange glow inside of the diner could be seen, even as a faint glimmer from afar. There were strips of lighting, meant as a sort of walkway, but the destination meant more to me than the journey. After all, the journey was a torturous undertaking.

Three knocks: no answer.

Foreboding already. Should I have expected anything less?

When I fled from the convent, I didn’t know what I would expect. All I heard were rumors of a lone restaurant, buried out in the depths of this accursed omen that I could take shelter in. What happened back in that convent that I was forced to flee? Have I committed some horrible crime against the church? Was I excommunicated? Or was it that my former home had been destroyed, forever set ablaze by the darkness in men’s hearts and as such, I could no longer return, as I no longer had a home to return to?

No. I wouldn’t speak a word of it. I’ve made my vows and henceforth, there would be not another word on the subject.

Whether or not my presence was welcome, I pushed open the door with my delicate and frail hands. It crept slow and a credible creaking sound followed. As I awaited the chaos that followed, light leaked through and shone almost as bright as heaven itself (oh, the irony). Once the light faded, lost in the abyss which surrounded me, I was face to face with a crowd of sick and dying alike. Injured and scared, people all huddled together en masse.

However, through all of that, there was an air of perseverance: food was brought to everyone’s table by a young girl with snowy hair. Commotion could be heard in the kitchen from afar, even with all the wails and conversation of the crowded dining hall: sounds of pots and pans clattering and clanging, hisses and searing of oil, meats, and vegetables. Its aroma permeated throughout the air and I allowed myself a sniff.

I walked through the dining area, as if aimless and without a purpose. Of course, I wasn’t without aim, but I had to appear as such until the right person showed up. Seeing as I didn’t know what the right person looked like yet...I may as well have been without aim.

Soon enough through my wander and best attempts not to be swayed by the delicious aromas set at each table, someone took notice of me and sauntered up to me: a tall and radiant black beauty. Her smile beamed with such a brightness that I was sure that through all the darkness in this world, she must have been a source of light.

“Heya. I take it you’ve come seeking shelter?” She squatted down and leaned her face close against mine. As welcoming as she was, I had to back away, for fear of her noticing anything in particular about my face. Let it be known that I was more than a little bit self-conscious. That even with my mouth and the top of my head covered by cloth, that there would be something seen about me that would be deemed revealing.

Once I backed away one step, I gave a single nod in return.

“Well, go ahead and seat yourself wherever you like. There’s not a lot of room, so you might have to huddle up next to someone,” she informed me.

While I appreciated the offer and should have been grateful with just that, I couldn’t bear to just sit tight and wait for a meal. Not only that, but I wasn’t about to remove the cloth from over my mouth. If I were to do that, then others could see my lips. Even something as simple as that…

So I produced a notepad and a pen from one of the pockets of my black habit and wrote down a note, then handed it to her.

“Oh? What’s this?” She scanned her eyes across the paper and had a look of delight on her face. Afterward, however, she scratched the back of her head and gave a sort of confused face of distress.

“Wait right here. I’ll get my husband.”

I nodded, and was once again left alone in the aisle between the despondent people. I took quick glances, little notes of the demographics: all adults, luckily. No child should have to deal with such hellish circumstances. Though...there was the white haired child, delivering plates to tables and asking around. What was her deal, her story? What was it that brought her to such a place?

“Is the menu visible for you?” She asked one of the guests, a flat brown haired young man in a puffy vest and jeans.

“Don’t you mean ‘have you had time to look at the menu’?”

She looked down and smiled, then shook her head.

“Yes, but I imagine it only takes a second to look at something, so long as it is visible to you. Amen.”

Is she supposed to be the waitress here? If so, she doesn’t seem to have this whole ‘hospitality’ thing down. Then again, she is a child, so maybe the others go easy on you.

“Oh, Astraea. I can never be mad at you. You still have much to learn,” he waved the waitress off.

“Yes. I do. So, are you interested in eating food?” She asked, again, her voice remained soft and polite.

Well, she’s got the kind part down. Hopefully all of the refugees are as nice to her as that young man. At the very least, it seems they’re all familiar with her. Damn, though. I was really hoping that I could work as a waitress here.

“Yeah, I think I’d like mashed potatoes with biscuits and gravy,” the young man replied.

“Those are interesting foods to eat. I will let the head chef know,” she informed him.

“Thank you, Astraea.”

“You’re welcome, Olivier.”

She then spun around in place, then ran off.

“Star power!” She cried out in a sugary sweet voice as she ran toward the kitchen.

“Astraea. How many times do I have to tell you not to run in the dining room? You could slip and fall, not to mention drop someone’s order,” scolded an older man who sounded exhausted.

I faced forward to see him: a gaunt looking man with jet unkempt hair which almost covered his eyes, and they would, too, if not for the glasses he wore. His eyes had a dull, hazy look to them and there were bags underneath. Despite such a despairing air about him, his attire was far more dignified and sharp dressed: an ironed-out tuxedo and slacks, with white gloves covering his hands.

He approached me, then stopped and pulled out the paper that I handed to the beautiful woman, who, by coincidence, stood beside him.

Ah. So he must be the husband.

“So let me see…” He held up the paper close to his face. “Your name is Sister Cecilia. You’ve taken a vow of silence, and you’re a nun who was exiled from her convent. You came here seeking shelter and would like to help out any way you can. Did I get all that?”

I nodded. There was more that I would like to add, but everything had its place.

“Isn’t she cute, hun? I don’t think we’ve had a nun show up here before,” the wife commented.

Am I some kind of spectacle?

“Trust me, they’re not all that interesting. No offense,” he focused his gaze on me.

“None taken,” I wrote down. He leaned over and peered at what I had written.

“So that’s how you communicate, huh?”

I nodded.

“Well, you should consider making your words bigger. Some of us, myself included, would have a hard time reading anything so small.”

Again, I nodded. It was sound advice, and something which I hadn’t considered.

He drew an exasperated breath, then shook his head.

“Anyway, we’ve no need for sermons. I don’t think prayers will help our situation.”

“She could provide moral support,” the wife suggested, “besides, a few of the folks here are Christian, so she could entertain them.”

‘Entertain’? Is that the right word there?

“Nuns provide more than just prayer,” I scrawled the words down, then added, “it’s customary for a sister to go out and help out in the community.”

He looked around the dining room, then back at me.

“This is a community, yes, but by necessity, not by choice. You may take shelter here, but I have no work for you.”

“Oh, come on, Ray! You know we can use all the help we can get!” Ray’s wife nudged him.

“You can give her a task, then,” he groaned, “but I’m telling you, between you, I, Tigershark, Aurora, and Astraea, we’ve got most things covered. Not to mention whenever Wendy shows up, she takes some of these folks back to their homes. Anyone else would just be overkill.”

I then watched as he walked off toward the back of the diner. His wife, however, remained in front of me.

“Sorry about that, Sister. He used to be a lot more cheerful. Ray Sunshine, they’d call him. ‘Cause that’s his name, but also because he used to be more of a ray of sunshine.”

“I understand his disposition, given what lies outside,” I wrote down, big enough so she could see (heeding Ray’s advice) and held it up to her.

“Yeah...it’s not pleasant. He and I have both gotten our fair share of injuries out there. Of course, we’re used to the environment being extreme, but usually it’s because of blizzards or intense chill. This is different, though. Anyway, not to worry, I’m still Sunny! Nice to meet you!”

She held out her hand and I deliberated on whether or not to shake it. In the end, I extended my hand as well and took hers.

To my knowledge, there’s nothing she can infer about me from my hand.

She squeezed my hand and I squeezed back to meet her grip in turn.

“Oh wow, Sister. You have a firm grip,” Sunny observed.

I nodded. When she let go, I pulled out my pen and my notepad.

“As do you,” I wrote down.

“Ha! I have a feeling you and I will get along just fine, Sister Cecilia. I happen to have a thing for ladies with firm grips.”

I’m confused, but I’m going to assume that was a compliment.

“Thank you. You truly are a light in these dark times,” I wrote down.

“Oh my, you flatter me. If I wasn’t already married, I’d consider going out with you.”

Would you be saying such things if you knew who I was?

It was hard to tell whether or not she was serious, but I took it as a serious statement all the same.

“Need I remind you, I’m a nun,” I wrote down, slow and deliberate, emboldened so that she knew my words were serious. “We’re celibate and have taken a vow not to enter into any relationships, unless it be with God.”

Even then, hard to have a relationship with something that doesn’t exist.

“Aw, I forgot! Guess I’ll just have to admire you in my thoughts.”

I swear. If she ever finds out who I am under this saintly image, she’d change her tune real fast.

“Anyway…” she looked around with a precocious and carefree expression, “I’ve got it! You can be a hostess!”

“What is that?” I tilted my head and wrote down. I knew of a waitress, and a hostess sounded like the same thing. Which, to me, was a little redundant.

“Simple: you’d stand by the door and greet anyone who comes in. Then you’d direct people to their seats and let them know that you’ll bring the waitress to see them. Think you can do that?”

Really? Was that it? It seemed...too simple. Minimal effort. That, and “greeting people”? By holding up signs that said “welcome in”? Well, I couldn’t complain. If that’s what she had in mind, then I’d take whatever position I could get. It’s just…

“I imagine people don’t come by very often,” I wrote down so that I could address a flaw in Sunny’s proposal.

“Yeah, you got me there! Well, members of Aurora’s crew like to come in and out, since we share our food with them, so I’d say that should keep you somewhat busy. But yeah, I see your point. So...hmm...maybe...oh! You could help out Astraea, our waitress? See, she’s pretty friendly, but she can get a little confused at times, and she may need a little extra help as a waitress.”

I pointed my left thumb in the direction of the wandering child waitress.

“Mm-hmm! That’s her!”

Thank goodness. I can finally put my customer service experience to good use.

“I’ll do my best,” I wrote to Sunny.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine, hun!” She held up a thumb and smiled wide. She really was, by all accounts, radiant.

In the midst of our conversation, I failed to notice Astraea, the waitress in question herself, approach us.

“Hello, Sunny. Might this be another human that eats?” Astraea asked in a wispy voice.

“Yes, dear. This is Sister Cecilia. She is a nun,” Sunny explained to her.

“A nothing? But how can she be a nothing if she is something?” Astraea tilted her head.

“Not nothing, n-u-n, nun. They’re a type of religious folk.”

“I don’t know what that is. Are nuns human?”

Are nuns...excuse me?

In a fit of confusion, I scribbled down just one word:

“What?”

And held it up, first showing Sunny, then Astraea.

“Those are some interesting symbols,” Astraea pointed to the sheet of paper I held out.

“That’s a word,” Sunny explained, “because she’s taken a vow of silence, she writes down whatever she wants to say and has people read it out.”

“Vow of silence? How did she make a vow if she can’t speak?”

Sunny chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure she can speak. She probably spoke plenty before she took that vow. It’s just after that vow that she stopped speaking. Am I right, Sister Cecilia?”

I nodded.

More or less.

“I see. How interesting. I may have some difficulties holding conversations with her, but I am willing to try. Amen,” Astraea replied to Sunny, then returned to her waitress duties.

“As you can see, she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit,” Sunny assured me.

From what little I saw of her, I was inclined to agree. However, what that ‘spirit’ in question was, I had no idea.

Either way, I have a strange feeling around her. Like she knows more than she lets on. Or that she’s not all that she seems. I don’t know where that feeling comes from, yet I am unable to deny it all the same.

“So, before I let you go, Sister, is there anything else I can help you with?” Sunny asked.

I nodded, then jotted down my question:

“Where may I rest?”

Sunny gave a nervous chuckle.

“Anywhere you like. There’s not a lot of space, but anywhere you can find is good enough. Just don’t sleep in one of the restrooms, as I’m sure the others wouldn’t like that too much.”

Nor would I like sleeping in a restroom, either. Although I would like to eat in one of them, that way I have at least the smallest morsel of privacy whilst I eat. Under no circumstances should I let others see my mouth, as it would be far too revealing.

On the subject of privacy, I let my worldly desires get the better of me, as I wrote down a request:

“I would like a room to myself.”

Sunny hung her head low. It still wasn’t the dejected atmosphere which Ray held, but it was all the same, a look of disappointment.

“Sorry, Sister. There’s a lot of people and not a lot of space. I would if I could, but circumstances are dire and resources are already tight.”

Of course. I should have known better than to have made such a request.

“I understand,” I wrote out, “I’ll be fine with any room, then.”

“Hmm...there’s a room in the back. You’d still be sharing it with a couple of other people, but I can roll out a futon bed for you to sleep on, as I’m sure you wouldn’t want to share a bed with two other people.”

Yeah. No. Most definitely I did not want to.

“I can also roll out a sleeping bag, air mattress, take your pick.”

“Futon is fine,” I wrote down.

“Good! It’s in the back, down the hall, to your left when you walk in. Mine and Ray’s room is upstairs. Tigershark and Astraea share a room at the other end of the hall, so if you ever wanna visit them when they’re not busy, feel free.”

If I recall, Ray mentioned Tigershark being the head chef. That was, to say the least, an interesting name. Not to borrow one of Astraea’s words, but it was just the truth.

After Sunny explained all that, she too left and headed toward the back of the restaurant/shelter.

I’ve now been acquainted with almost all the staff here. That just leaves folks like Tigershark, Aurora, and Wendy. But if I had to choose, I’d say that Tigershark is the one I’m most interested in meeting next.

As if a prayer were answered, I heard a yell come from the kitchen. Gruff, yet shrill in its timbre.

“Order up!” Roared the voice of the head chef, and it sounded like the voice of a child.

Wait. You don’t mean…the head chef, too…?

My eyes followed the movements of Astraea as she strolled from one end of the dining area and into the kitchen door. Then, a few seconds later, she walked out with a plate and a glass of water in hand. On the plate was a dish of shrimp risotto and two gyoza rolls.

How...peculiar.

In tandem with the plate and glass being set down at one of the tables, the door to the kitchen burst open and out from it was a muscular young girl with red hair and orange streaks in the style of a pageboy haircut. She wore an apron with what appeared to be denim overalls underneath, and underneath those overalls was a long sleeved blue and gold striped T-shirt. Tight-laced leather boots topped off her attire, and if there were any more details to take note of, I didn’t have much of a chance to observe, as she darted toward me.

“Hello!” She beamed. “Are you new here? My name’s Tigershark!”

I nodded, then wrote down the same thing I wrote for Ray. I handed Tigershark the sheet of paper and her eyes scanned across the page.

“Oh wow! I’ve never met a real life nun before! I think Ray told me about them once.”

Astraea soon joined beside Tigershark.

“Look, Tigershark, isn’t this an interesting human?” Astraea pointed me out.

“Yes, she is! She’s a nun! I’ve heard about them before, but never seen them!”

Astraea looked down and smiled.

“I still don’t know what a nun is,” her assured statement made it seem like she was content not knowing, yet it seemed quite the opposite.

“They’re like how you say amen a lot, but with them, it’s their job!” Tigershark explained, in what may have been the simplest and least accurate of ways.

“Does that mean that they get paid for it?” Astraea put her finger on her chin and wondered.

“No,” I wrote down.

“What does that say?” Astraea looked at the paper.

“It says ‘no’. Like, she doesn’t get paid, I guess?”

I nodded. Correct.

Tigershark held out her hand. Same game as Sunny, I suppose. I took it and shook, and to my surprise, Tigershark’s grip was also very tight.

Then again, much like Sunny, Tigershark has quite muscular arms.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sister Cecilia!”

When she let go, I wrote down:

“You as well. You’re almost as tall as me.”

It was true; although if I had to guess, she was about 137 centimeters, she was still what I would consider tall for a child, and as for me...let’s just say there was a reason I wore heels. As uncomfortable as they were on my feet, with them on, I was 154 centimeters, and appeared just tall enough that I didn’t have to be so self-conscious about my height.

“Really? Well, Ray says I’m growing fast, and I’m almost 11! I’ll have my 11th birthday in a few weeks, and then in a few months after that, I’ll be 11 for real! I’m just not sure about the exact day!”

That was...confusing. Did she not know her own birthday? In any case, the thing I was most shocked about was the idea that she still had more growing to do. I feared for the day in which she outgrew me. Me, a grown adult woman.

“When it’s Tigershark’s 11th birthday, it will be mine as well,” declared Astraea. “We decided it last year. I will also be 11 because I recently learned that I am not 19 but in fact, Tigershark’s age, due to the fact that some of my years weren’t actually a year long.”

Again: what?

For the remainder of the day, I shadowed Astraea and made sure she did all that was expected of her. I’d often find myself writing down apologies to the guests and asking for their patience, although by the look of things, they were more or less used to her. Not long after, I turned in for the night in the room which Sunny had directed me to.

Inside were two other people, just as I was told there would be: one, a balding man with a tank-top on, an inappropriate attire for the type of environment we were in (or, I would say that, except the fog has negated any sense of ‘cold’ or ‘warm’ altogether) with cuts and bruises all over his arms, chest, and face. He drew labored breaths as he lay on the bed in what looked to be a cold sweat. As red as his cuts were, and as purple as the bruises were, at least it seemed that none of his wounds were open.

He must have only come here recently, I noted.

Knelt down on the floor beside the bed, was a woman, with brunette hair tied in a bun and wearing a thick, brown overcoat. She too had scratches on her face, like claw marks, and her overcoat itself was torn up, almost in tatters. Neither of them looked in great shape, yet the kindest thing I could say was that they would live. They had each other for comfort and that had to count for something. That was more than I could say about myself; what could I offer them? Empty prayers. Such things would have done them no good.

Despite my request for a room, I nevertheless felt like an intruder to those people. They didn’t acknowledge my existence as they were too preoccupied with their own predicament. All the better. Even in a superficial sense, I’d love nothing more than to have been left alone.

So I walked past them and laid myself down on the futon next to the dresser. I curled my legs and removed my high-heeled shoes. I’d be damned if I didn’t have some bruises and calluses from wearing them for so long. Those things were a punishment far greater than any of my sins. Yet wear them, I had to, for the sake of appearance.

Being who I was, I had to throw away any notion of ‘comfort’ for the sake of appearance. There was little comfort in my attire, especially given my blasphemous thoughts. Some folks held faith in a higher power, others were comfortable with having faith in humanity; I had neither. We were all cruel creatures of desire who both suffered and inflicted suffering upon others. We created deities as scapegoats to pawn our problems off on, we –

No, I had to stop before it spiraled further. Such thoughts were a bad habit, and within the pockets of my bad habit were notepads and pens, an endless amount of papers as a means of communication. Beside that was a means of protection, one which I hoped I wouldn’t have to present. At least not yet.

What am I doing, dressing up like some holy woman? How long am I going to keep up this act? I hold nothing sacred, nothing holy. I devote myself to no one and nothing, but act with self-preservation. So when will I present myself as a faithless, faceless mannequin like I really am? Or as a mannequin, am I meant to be dressed up to play a role, put myself on display, and pass by without a second’s thought.

My eyes shut. Soon I was on my back, and although I knew little rest would come, I still tried to bring myself to some semblance of respite.

I had a dream about bells. Church bells or school bells, couldn’t tell. That I had any dream at all was a miracle, as I wasn’t one to remember many of my dreams. That, and sleep seldom came to me. But there I was, sat up on the floor, and the bells still rung in my ear.

“SISTER CECILIA!” Roared the voice of Ray from afar. Such a vocal force vibrated through my skin and past my ribs, reverberated past my heart and out the other end.

Who?

“SISTER CECILIA!” Again, those two words, harsher, more urgent.

Oh, right. That’s me. The bell tolls for me.

I rushed to my feet and held up my veil, making sure that the coif was on tight. The last thing I wanted to happen was for the hood to fall and for the others to see my hair. That would have been too much to handle, especially on the first night of being here.

Once I had it all straight and fastened, I darted out the door to the room, down the hall, and into the dining area where I saw Ray and Sunny side by side with the front door swung open. There was a howling, malevolent force outside. Not a gust of wind, but a shriek and a growl, some inhuman and near-inaudible sound. In front of them, between the hinges of the unknown gray outside and the discomforting familiarity inside was a skinny, near-emaciated looking shirtless man. He coughed, gagged, sputtered and blood ran from his mouth. Gashes surrounded his torso and I had a hard time imagining that he would live at all.

“Don’t just stand there! Help us out!” Ray turned to me.

But while I should have helped, something else compelled me to stay where I was. Something, or perhaps, someone else: Astraea.

She stood off to my side, to my right, next to one of the booths. She too stood in place, and had a look of concern about her. But it wasn’t a concern that you or I might have had for someone sick. No, it was a sense of confusion, instead.

“Why are you helping that human up?” Astraea asked, in much the way a child might ask why the sky was blue.

“Because he’s hurt,” Sunny replied.

“Why is he hurt?”

“Because of what’s outside?”

“Why? What’s outside?”

“We don’t know,” it was Ray’s turn to answer.

“Why don’t you know?”

“We just don’t!” He snapped. That did not deter her.

“But why? Why can’t you tell? Why can’t it be bears, wolves, a blizzard? Why is he hurt at all? Why do people get hurt? Why are people hurt when they come here? Why does pain exist? Why –”

She. Just. Kept. Going. On.

I’ve always hated it, that word: Why? It was like when we’re young, that’s all we ask, and we expect an answer, but then when we get an answer, we’re just left with more questions, and no matter how much it’s broken down, there’s always going to be more questions until it all becomes pointless. Doubt is healthy, necessary, even, but do we all have to know the reason for every little thing?

“Astraea, go back to bed, honey,” Sunny urged.

“Why should I? Why can’t I know? Why can’t you know?”

Why won’t it stop? Was my own question. I was ready to put my hands over my ears and cover them up, open my mouth, scream, reveal my voice, have everything come crashing –

“Stop! Just stop!” I wanted so bad to yell that out.

– But I was saved by the cross tone of Ray Sunshine.

“Damn it! Sister Cecilia, are you going to do your job and help us out?!”

That snapped me out of any possible trance I was in and I rushed to their aide. I helped the poor man up and led him to an empty space at one of the booths. He moaned and wheezed and bobbed his head. There was a part of me which didn’t expect him to make it, that he would drop dead, before I even got him to take his seat.

But lo and behold, he did. He looked miserable, in tears, but he too, I would have to hope, would survive.

“I’ll bring you a glass of water. The waitress will be with you shortly,” I wrote down on my notepad and held it up to him. He squinted at it with a blurred vision, then looked up at me and nodded.

I began to walk up to Astraea, but Ray intercepted me.

“I’ll take it from here. You should get some rest,” he placed a hand on her shoulder and instructed.

“Thank you,” she replied. “So I shall. But please ask the man why he was hurt for me,” she requested. Ray glanced back to where I had placed the man, and it was like he was ready to roll his eyes. Instead of that, however, he turned back to Astraea.

“Will do.”

At the same time Astraea walked away, Ray walked past me, in the direction of the new guest.

“He’ll tell me the same thing they’ve all told me. He doesn’t know why he’s hurt any more than I do, but he knows his pain is real,” he muttered to himself, a grim sense of futility in his voice.

“Ray, let me help you,” Sunny pleaded. “I’ll bring the food out.”

“Do as you like,” he gave a dismissive reply.

As for me, I thought that was all I was needed for, that I too would head back into my room. But I kept my word. I walked off into the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. When I returned to the table, I set it down. Ray was still there, and he glanced at me.

“I could have done that myself,” he groaned.

Don’t give me that bullshit, I was ready to snarl, myself, just not out loud.

“But you didn’t have to,” I wrote down instead. Tact. It was as important in that hellscape as it ever was anywhere else.

He could have put up a fuss, but he looked at me for a few seconds longer, first his eyes showed scorn, then they shifted to a reluctant show of surrender. It was that shift which caused him to stand back up and wave his hand up.

“I’m going to make him a warm meal,” he called back to me, “you’re free to go back to bed until the next person arrives, or until morning. Sunny and I can handle this.”

As enticing as the offer of rest was, I followed him into the kitchen and wrote down.

“I can still help,” I showed the words to him.

“Yeah? What can you do?” His cold dismissal returned again. That time, I was stumped. There was no rebuttal I could have, but it felt wrong to just walk away, either.

“Well? Anything?” He pressed on.

I still had no answer and it dug deeper into me.

At last, he let out a sigh.

“Here: get out the eggs, flour, anything else I need, while I cook, OK?” He conceded. As someone who normally didn’t like work, let alone being told what to do, I was somewhat elated that he allowed me to help him in any way at all.

That was but the first night, in early August. Ever since then, there had been little progress in the way of the situation outside, or inside. Ray and Sunny gave the residents what little medical attention they knew to give. Ray was still the same self I witnessed upon my initial entry, but at least as the days passed, he acknowledged my presence. It wasn’t really progress, but it was something. Maybe all that I could hope for.

Each time someone entered, the bell would ring above the door, and I would assist whatever victim or passerby of the fog happened to cross the threshold into our domain. Some people’s injuries were worse than others. Sometimes, there were few injuries at all, and all I had to do was greet them and point them out to their table. Those were the lucky ones. I too was lucky, as when I first entered, the furthest I felt was an oppressive feeling that I was surrounded and eyes were on me in every direction.

Sometimes people carried with them the mindset of a customer, and not some desperate soul seeking shelter. That despite what horrible ordeals they’ve had to endure, they retained their entitled attitude. Those were the worst. Men, women, whoever. Young and old and anywhere in between. It didn’t matter. They were all a grating nightmare.

“Welcome in,” were the two words I would hold up on a sheet of paper when someone entered.

“Why howdy, ma’am!” Entered a burly middle-aged man in a cowboy hat and ultra thick mustache.

“Allow me to show you to your seat,” I held up the next sheet of paper. It had become a routine, and it was fine enough, I served a purpose, just as I wanted to. But damn, at times it could be boring.

“Why won’t you talk, little lady?” He asked instead. I had the most primal urge to growl, but I suppressed it.

“I’ve taken a vow of silence,” I wrote down.

“Aw, but I’m sure you have a lovely voice. And what’s with that cloth over your mouth? Got a cold or something? How am I going to see your lovely smile?” His voice was condescending, coy and playful. Absolutely disgusting.

I stomped down on his boot, so hard that despite the hardened leather that he wore, he felt every ounce of my disgust.

“Owww!” He wailed, raised his leg and held his foot in his hands, “damn you, little lady.”

Too late. I’m already damned.

“Now. Right this way,” I wrote down and although reluctant, he nodded, tears in his eyes, and followed me. When I found an open seat, toward the back wall of the dining hall, he looked at me with scorn in his eyes. But he was free to feel however he wanted. I was done with him.

I walked over to Astraea, who had just finished setting down a plate at another table. I poked her shoulder, then pointed in the direction of the nosy man with the unbearable mustache.

“Thank you, Sister Cecilia. Amen,” she replied, as she did. Beside her, was a customer, a puffy blonde haired woman with a rosary around her neck.

“Oh, how wonderful! We have two devout Christians!” Proclaimed the lady.

Wrong on both counts.

“I don’t know what that is,” answered Astraea.

“Don’t you believe in God just as well as I do?”

“I don’t know of any gods.”

“But you should! My faith in Him moves mountains.”

“How?”

“Well, it’s just that strong.”

“Interesting. My faith moves my own two feet.”

“So you have faith? But what do you have faith in?”

Astraea smiled. Truth be told, I worried for her. She bore no ill words toward anyone, yet those ultra-religious types were so easy to set off. Like a firecracker.

“I have faith in what interests me, and there are so many interesting things in this world.”

“That’s all well and good, but you should know what it means to pray! I insist we have a prayer circle once we’re not busy.”

“Why?”

“Because! It would be good for you!”

Astraea walked away, not giving her an answer, yet she continued to show off that kind smile of hers.

“Humans are so interesting,” she remarked.

I followed her. What else was I to do?

Yes, when it came to a monotheistic deity, especially of the Christian variety, I had no such beliefs. It was that fact which made my very existence as a nun a farce. Even as far back as when I was young, I didn’t believe in the existence of some higher power. Despite my pessimism and bitter attitude, it had nothing to do with “if a benevolent God exists, why is there still suffering in the world?” Because as far as I could tell, suffering would find a way regardless of how all-powerful something was.

No, it just had to do with the fact that it made no sense to me. To put such a thing in such a high regard when at best, a celestial entity like that would look at us humans with indifference. After all, did we ponder the daily lives of bacteria? Wonder about the complexity in such small organisms? Even if we did, we didn’t shed tears over them, and our concern only extended to how much it affected us. So why put so much stock, so much worship, into something that even if it existed, didn’t care about us one iota?

Not only that, but why “He”? Why not “She”? Why “heavenly father”? Hell, why any gender at all? If those beings were such all-powerful entities, why would they need to be identified with a man, a woman, anything? Weren’t they above that?

There were so many imperfections which denoted a human, not a divine, origin. For all that talk of a creator, such a thing was at its core, a creation. At least I could have some respect for the religions with many deities. They didn’t hide or deny the human elements of their gods.

Of course, there was but one more aspect: proof. There was none one way or another. For all we knew, there could and there couldn’t be something out there, far off in the cosmos. But we had no way to tell, so why put stock into something which may not even be there at all? It just didn’t make sense, and I didn’t have the patience like Astraea to ask an endless barrage of “why?” Or “how?” As it stood, if there was some celestial being among us, how would such a thing present itself? What pronouns would they prefer?

“She’s such a wonderful girl, isn’t she?” One guest remarked about Astraea.

I shrugged my shoulders. Her words and actions often left me in confusion. Maybe that in itself was “wonderful”, just a different connotation of the word.

When all of the food was served, Tigershark ran out from the kitchen.

“Another meal was a success!” She stretched out her arm and held up her thumb.

“Good job, Tigershark,” Astraea gave Tigershark a pat upon her head.

Things soon went south: a few tables down, someone began to gag, then throw up. All three of us ran toward their table. It was a young woman, thin and shaking in her seat.

“Oh no! I swear, I cooked it all well!” Tigershark pouted, then reached over and wiped the woman’s mouth.

“What did she just do?” Astraea asked.

“She threw up,” Tigershark informed her.

Have you never seen someone throw up before?

“Sorry,” uttered the woman’s aching voice, “I think I was just so hungry I ate it too fast and...urp.”

“So you throw up when you eat too fast?” Astraea wondered.

“Kinda. Lots of things can do it. You can eat too much, or eat something that doesn’t taste good, or sometimes tummy’s just mean,” Tigershark elaborated.

“I see. Excuse me, then,” Astraea stated, looked down and smiled, then walked toward one of the restrooms.

Don’t tell me…

I followed her. It could have been nothing, but...who was I kidding? Was it ever ‘nothing’ with that child?

She left the door to the single stall restroom open and I saw her in front of the toilet’s seat, retching, and soon black bile emitted from out of her mouth. It looked unreal, and among the stream of vomit, there was blood and what looked like discarded chunks of flesh. It made me want to retch, at the very least look away, but something compelled me not to. Toward the very end, I even thought I saw small limbs, like arms and legs, and even branches off of trees billowing out. I blinked, and she was done.

“Are you OK?” I wrote down. She looked over to me and wiped her mouth.

“Sorry you saw that,” Astraea answered instead with a strained moan. She wiped her mouth, and I walked over to her, then saw that there were no such grotesque things like I had imagined. I was more baffled that for a moment, I even considered such imagery. She flushed the toilet, then walked past me and splashed some water on her face in the sink. After, she washed her hands and while ignoring what I wrote down, turned to me.

“That was most unpleasant. Yes. Why do people eat if that can happen? I do wonder,” she mused to herself, then walked past me.

For what it was worth, her face looked spotless and after that whole ordeal was done, she seemed fine. Like it was just an afterthought.

“Astraea! Are you okay?” Tigershark ran up to her as we exited the restroom.

“Yes, my friend. I must have just gone so long eating and not disposing of the food that I had too much within me.”

“Make sure you pee and poop sometimes!” Tigershark urged.

“I will take care to do so, thank you.”

Just a few hours later, the five of us gathered for a “prayer circle” – Ray, Sunny, Tigershark, Astraea, and I. None of us wanted to be there. Well, maybe Sunny did, mostly just for fun. Tigershark and Astraea did, as well, but more out of a sense of curiosity. So I guess that just left Ray and I.

“I really don’t think this is necessary,” Ray scoffed at the idea when the woman presented it.

“Aw, please, Ray, won’t you indulge me?”

“This could be fun,” Sunny added, “and if nothing else, it’ll give us both a break from all the hardship.”

Ray let out a dejected sigh.

“Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

We all sat in the circle, and by coincidence, I sat beside Astraea.

Good. There’s just too many things about her that don’t add up. Maybe while everyone is distracted in prayer, I can find out the answer for myself.

“Oh, heavenly father, thank you for this meal –” The woman began, and everyone closed their eyes. I opened them soon after, though, and scribbled down a few words on a torn scrap of paper.

“What are you, really?” I passed the paper to her. She opened her eyes and noticed it, then replied:

“I don’t know how to read. Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone else echoed soon after. If not for the group prayer ending, I would have thought that Astraea had everyone in a trance.

“Thank you-know-what that’s over,” Ray exclaimed, then got up out of his seat.

“What were you two talking about?” Tigershark turned to Astraea and I.

“She wrote something for me, but I don’t know how to read,” Astraea explained.

This is embarrassing, I couldn’t help but think to myself.

Tigershark took the scrap of paper.

“Oh, she was asking you what you are,” Tigershark explained.

“Twinkle, twinkle little star...I am a waitress,” Astraea answered.

“There you have it, Sister Cecilia,” Tigershark turned to me, then back to Astraea. “By the way, would you like me to teach you how to read?”

“Yes please. Amen.”

I shook my head. I learned nothing, save for the fact that Astraea couldn’t read. But was that even the truth, or was that just something she told me? Oh, I didn’t know what I was going on about anymore. It was useless to wonder about things which held no purpose.

When we all dispersed, I was ready to resume my duties as a hostess, but Tigershark came up to me and jumped up and down.

“Yes?” I wrote down before turning around.

“My birthday’s coming up! Well, it won’t be my actual birthday, but I’ll be celebrating it in a few days, because that’s when I celebrated it last year. Ray said that we can’t do much because of the thing outside, but he’ll still make me a cake and sing to me. Will you be there too?”

I didn’t see much of a choice in the matter. Where else would I go?

“Yes,” I jotted down my simple answer.

“Thank you! I know it’s in your name, but I want you to know that I like you like an actual sister!”

It was strange, but I found it a sweet gesture, nonetheless.

“I like you too :)” I wrote down.

While in reality, I wasn’t a fan of children by any stretch, I felt it necessary to show kindness to them above all. Especially in this context, where outside of the domain of the diner was too dangerous. I didn’t feel this was any place for a child, and I would stand by that, but since she was already there, much like Ray must have felt, I needed to make sure she felt as happy as if there were no problems outside.

“I’m so glad! I had another sister named Demetria, but she’s not here anymore. I really miss her. Her birthday is a few days after mine and I wish she were here so I could tell her happy birthday.”

That struck me somehow. I didn’t know who such a person was, but she must have been important to Tigershark in some capacity.

“I see. I’m sure she misses you too,” I wrote my reply, unsure if that was actually the truth. There was no real way to tell, as I didn’t know who she was.

“Thanks. She used to live in the room you sleep in now, back before all these people were here. I liked to tease her and prank her, but I can’t do that anymore since she’s not here.”

Ha. I couldn’t imagine anyone missing being pranked, but I could tell her feelings about her supposed sister was still genuine.

“I hope you can see her again someday,” I wrote down before going on my way.

“I hope so too! I’m sure you’d like her if you met her as well!”

Would I? I had no idea. I didn’t care for most people as it was, so I didn’t see what would have made her any more special. Still, again, it was a nice thought.

I did wonder, though. What she must have been like, what life in general must have been like before the disaster that the fog brought with it.

Days later, Tigershark’s birthday came around. The unfortunate thing was that true to her word, little was done for her. There was a cake, there was some singing. Ray gave a sweater to Tigershark that he had knitted, and Sunny gave her an old pair of boxing gloves. She was happy with both gifts.

“Sorry I don’t have anything for your birthday this year,” Astraea told Tigershark.

“That’s okay! You just being here is fine with me! Besides, you let me play your video games, and that’s fun!”

Oh yeah. I forgot about that detail. Sometimes those two, when they weren’t busy with their restaurant duties, would sit in the back of the diner out in the hallway and play on Astraea’s Nintendo Switch.

“You can play video games with me and tell me what each word says on the screen! That way I can learn to read!” Astraea presented the game and console to Tigershark one day when I just happened to be in the same vicinity as them.

“What’s this? ‘Fire Emblem: Three Houses’, it says,” Tigershark read off the cartridge.

“Is that what it says? I always just thought it was called video games,” Astraea remarked.

The two sat together and didn’t pay me any mind.

“Look! It’s Sothis!” Astraea would point out. “She’s my favorite!”

It wasn’t long until each of them were pointing to each character.

“Ray looks like an older Lindhardt!” Tigershark exclaimed.

“Yes, but where are his glasses?” Astraea pointed out.

“Catherine looks like Sunny!”

“Yes, but her skin is too light to be Sunny,” Astraea corrected.

“Shamir looks kinda like Remora!”

Someone else I didn’t know, I see. Maybe she too was once a resident of the diner.

“Shamir’s skin is too light as well.”

Does it have to be a perfect 1:1 comparison? I couldn’t help but ask myself.

“Flayn reminds me of Demetria!” Both of them cried out, and that got me to look their way.

What?

“She’s short, has green hair, and likes fish. It’s perfect!” Tigershark sounded so excited, like she reached a breakthrough.

“Yes. Flayn is the perfect Demetria.”

Such nonsense, I shook my head.

“Who would be like Sister Cecilia?” Tigershark then wondered.

“Hmm...maybe Mercedes?” Astraea pondered. “She’s blonde and likes church stuff.”

“Oh, oh! I can see that!” Tigershark beamed.

Fuck it. I’ll bite.

“May I see the characters?” I wrote down and showed them.

“I’m still not very good at reading,” Astraea tilted her head and muttered. “What does it say, Tigershark?”

“She wants to see the characters in the game! Can we show her?”

“Yes. I shall allow it,” Astraea smiled, then handed the console to me.

I scrolled through each character in the menu.

There’s one called Lady Rhea. Somehow that name stands out to me. But it says she’s the head of the church, and I never really got along well with heads of churches.

I scrolled through some more. There was one character, Bernadetta.

Heh. Bernadetta. I can relate to her vibes. I too would like nothing more than to be left alone.

At last, I stopped at one character: Marianne. She was a demure looking young woman with short, blue hair.

For some reason I feel like she resonates with me, but I don’t know why. Wait. Why am I comparing myself to someone with short, blue hair?

I shook my head. Those little observations weren’t really much. I didn’t even really know the game that well. I handed the console back to them and wrote down:

“You’re right. Mercedes fits me most.”

They both grinned, as if I told them that they won a contest. Ah, well. Best to let those two think that, anyway.

After that exchange, I left the two alone. Still, it was nice to think that even from something as simple as that, Tigershark could be happy.

On a slow period, a little over a week after Tigershark’s birthday, I found Ray at his desk in the back of the diner. It was the perfect opportunity to ask him something which had been gnawing at the back of my mind. That, and we never really got to have much of a discussion together.

I sat down at a chair beside his desk and that was when he turned to me.

“Sister Cecilia. What can I do for you?” He asked, sounding bored.

“I was wondering about who used to live in the room I’m in,” I wrote down and showed it to him.

“You mean the guy and the girl?” He asked in return, referring to the ones I shared the room with.

I shook my head.

“No. Before the fog.”

He nodded his head slow.

“I see. Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious,” I wrote, “I heard Tigershark talking about her before.”

“Ah. Yeah. It used to be Demetria’s room.”

“Can you tell me about her?”

“She was someone who came here originally because she had a crush on someone who frequented here. I liked to give her a hard time about it, but I let her stay because the whole thing amused me. Can you relate to that at all?”

“What?” I wrote in response.

“Having a crush. Have you ever had such feelings for someone?”

“Only for God.”

And even then, not that. After all, I can’t have love for something that doesn’t exist.

He leaned back, then smiled a slight smile.

“Was that some kind of joke?” He asked.

“I have to try to keep a sense of humor, even in the darkest of times. There needs to be some light, no matter how small,” I wrote down my reply.

“I see. I used to think such things as well. I seem to have lost my sense of humor ever since this fog. She got lucky, though, that Demetria. She left before everything went south. She said that she needed to figure herself out, and I respected that. I even extended the offer that she could return at any time. However, once this fog started up, I didn’t want to risk such a danger. I texted her and told her that I didn’t want to see her again, hoping she’d get the message without asking any questions.”

“Did it work?”

“I have to assume so. I just feel bad for it, like I wonder if I made the right decision. She probably has a bad impression of me now, like I don’t care, when the opposite is true, and I’ll have to live with that. What do you think, Sister Cecilia?”

“I think you made the right call,” I wrote for him. “I think it’s for the best that she’s not here, given the circumstances.”

“Thank you, Sister Cecilia. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she was still with us.”

“I don’t know,” I had no other words to offer.

“Me either,” he shook his head, solemn at the thought.

Great, now I feel bad for asking. It’s like I touched on a sensitive subject.

Nervous, I pulled out my switchblade from my pocket and flicked it in and out. As embarrassing as it was, I had a habit of fidgeting with it when I got nervous.

“Oh? You have a knife?” He pointed down.

Crap. I wasn’t paying attention. I really wanted to hide this from others.

Desperate, I wrote down an explanation:

“Yes. The head of the clergy gave it to me, said that I needed something for self-defense.”

“Heh. It’s just that Demetria also had a thing for knives.”

Interesting. Something in common.

“Father Time gave it to me before I left the monastery.”

Funny that priests were called that. I never even knew my own father.

“Father Time, huh? That’s an interesting name for a priest, or anyone in general.”

“Yes. Time comes for us all,” I answered. Like before, I had to have some kind of sense of humor, even with a topic I never thought to bring up.

“So it does. I’m just wondering when that time will come,” he replied.

“Soon enough. You have to have hope, Ray,” I wrote down. It was a hollow gesture, as not even I had hope, or even knew what to hope for. But I wanted to comfort him in any way I could.

“Hope for what?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” I had to admit, and that was when I got up out of my seat. As always, we were at a standstill.

There was still no clear indication as to when such a hopeful time would come, or when that time would be right. In early September, two new faces showed up: One, the person named Wendy who I had heard of when I first arrived. The other was a nuisance and a sailor who called himself Captain Acab.

Wendy showed up one day and strutted in, nary an injury to be found. Before I could even direct her to a seat, she walked past me and sat at an empty booth. I was a little appalled that she wouldn’t wait, not even acknowledge me, and so having taken her seating as a slight, I walked up to her.

“The waitress will be with you shortly,” I wrote down and held up the paper.

She looked up, texting on a phone in her hands.

“She will, will she? And who might you be?” She flashed a smile. I even thought I saw a wink.

“I am Sister Cecilia, a nun who has taken on a vow of silence,” I introduced, holding up one sheet of paper that had been written on long ago.

“I see. You might make for a good conversation partner, then. Name’s Wendy Day. I’m an escort and I’m currently pretending to be the owner of this phone in my hands. I’m texting this girl’s mom and being like ‘ay, what’s up, ma?’ I’ll be honest, it’s hard pretending to be someone else, but I like to see their reactions.”

“Why would you do that?” I wrote down and asked.

“Well, she gave me her phone and asked me to do so while she sees someone named ‘Hera’. As to why I agreed...I dunno, but the next time I see her, I’ll give this to her. Say, wanna see a selfie her friend sent her? I’ll tell ya, I had no idea she’d have such a cute friend. I bet Remora would be jealous if she knew.”

Before I could reply that no, I did not want to see a picture of this stranger’s friend, Wendy held up the phone anyway. On the text screen was the face of a girl with dark hair and silky, olive skin. She was smiling in the photo and held up a peace sign.

“What do you think? Cute, huh? Not that I think so, but like I said, I bet a certain someone would get jealous.”

“I refuse to comment on someone I know nothing about,” I wrote down.

“Suit yourself. You can get the waitress now,” she shooed me off. I was just about to go when she added, “say, how are you liking it here?”

Despite my better judgment, I replied with the two words: “It’s hell.”

She snorted up a babyish laugh.

“I guess so, huh? What led you to this hell, though?”

“Rumors,” I gave my simple reply. The longer I stayed, the more I felt like I would be in an interrogation.

“Figures. Rumors can be such a nasty thing. I try not to put too much stock into them unless I have evidence. Well, I usually pull people out of here, but I think Ray wants me to stay a while longer this time. That way I can protect anyone, in case things get too bad.”

“I hope things don’t get too bad,” I wrote out my reply.

“You and me both. I also hope she gets here soon. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting pretty tired of pretending to be someone else. Plus, she promised me some action.”

Whoever she is, I would rather less people deal with this predicament, not more.

“Best of luck to your friend,” I wrote down instead. As always, I tried to be as nice as I could in my words, even if my true self was rotten to the core.

“Heh. Thanks. And best of luck in hell,” she flashed me a grin once more. At last, I felt I could move on to other places in the diner. I just didn’t know what moving on would bring…

“Ding-ding!” Went the chime of the bell above the door.

Damn it. What now? I cursed that bell and every new entry that walked in. Yet as it was my job, I rushed to the aide of whoever it was who entered.

When I got to the door and was all ready with the sign welcoming the new inhabitant in, I was met instead with a tall man (well, tall for me, anyway) with shaggy blue hair along with a long, blue beard and mustache.

Who is this? Krusty the Clown?

His face looked frozen and he shivered in place, then, he looked down and once our eyes met, I saw the bloodshot look in his and a look of either surprise or pure terror filled his face. That should have been my warning as to what came next, as he wobbled some more before collapsing over me.

I tried to hold him up as best I could, but he was just too heavy, and the angle was too awkward.

Ugh. Please. Stand up.

He didn’t even look that injured. So what was it? Exhaustion?

“Sister Cecilia, what are you doing?” Ray’s voice called out in the background.

I huffed and thanked my lucky stars it didn’t make so much of a sound.

“Hurry up and get him off of you and get him to a seat,” he scolded.

It was still too much of a struggle. Desperate, I reached for my paper and just tried to hold the man up with my own shoulders as I wrote down one word, as bold and big as I could make it. Then I held the paper up for Ray to see.

“HEAVY.” It said.

Ray took a look and scoffed.

“Of course he’s heavy, but people are going to fall from time to time. You should be used to this by now,” he continued to scold.

It’s not just that, but I’m wearing heels, which makes it very hard to move my legs much.

Ray helped the strange bearded man up. Then, when the man was back upright, and leaned against the hinges of the door to keep himself up, he spoke up.

“Heh, sorry about that. I guess you could say I ‘fell for you’,” his voice was low, but in a sort of fake and deliberate way. Also, he reminded me too much of that creepy cowboy man I remember helping out. All in all, bad vibes.

“I’m not impressed,” I wrote down.

I showed him to a seat, and one that for better or worse, wasn’t far from Wendy’s.

“Arr, thanks, miss,” he crooned like he was trying to talk like a pirate. He then pulled out a pipe from his pocket and put it in his mouth, and that was when I noticed the sailor uniform.

Maybe it’s not just an act. Either way, he could use some work in sounding more genuine, but that’s just me.

I soon pointed Astraea toward the sailor man and she strolled over to him.

“Here is a menu. Please take the time to look at it so that you may eat food. I will soon return, so be ready for me. Amen,” Astraea recited.

“Thanks, matey,” he told the waitress.

When Astraea returned, just a few minutes later, he asked her: “Say, who’s the pretty lady in the black dress?” Pointing to me. I felt sick to my stomach.

“That’s Sister Cecilia.”

“Holy hell, she’s beautiful.”

I scowled.

“Err...I mean, pardon me, being a sailor, I tend to curse like me.”

“Hey Ahab. Are you going to order or not?” I wrote down, done with his dilly-dallying.

“It’s ‘Acab’, lass. Because the ‘C’ is very important to a sailor, yes,” he took a puff of his pipe and nodded.

I’ve only known that guy once, but I swear he’s gonna give me a headache.

Some odd minutes passed and I floated around each table. Astraea returned to the sailor’s table with food in hand. By then, I had stopped paying attention to any of his antics, but somehow in the short span of time, not only had he received his food, but so did everyone else, and Tigershark was seated atop his lap.

How did this happen? I had to wonder.

“Arr, lass. How goes ye?”

“You remind me of Santa!” Tigershark exclaimed.

He bellowed out a hearty laugh.

“Aye. Ye think so?”

“Yeah! And your lap is really comfortable! Say, why do you shiver so much?”

He scratched his chin.

“When ye sail the mighty winds of the ocean, ye feel every breeze. Yea.”

“Wow. You sailed in the ocean?” Tigershark asked, amazed.

“Aye, lass. I’ve sailed every which way in search of my mortal enemy, Moby Duck, a giant duck who strikes fear into even the heartiest of men. Its call, ‘shuba shuba’ brings shivers to my spine to this day. In fact, I was close to facing off with my enemy when my ship crash landed near here.”

Giant duck? Seriously? You’re not fooling anyone.

“Wow! A giant duck!” Tigershark’s mouth hung open and was sucked into his story.

Fine. Maybe you fool one person.

I really wished that the sailor along with every troublesome guest was able to leave so I didn’t have to deal with them. With each passing nuisance, I wished the fog would dissipate, but my wish never did get granted. It really felt like all of us were stuck in a perpetual state of suffering. Tigershark and Astraea were able to keep their high spirits, but what about everyone else? Even then, how long could those children last? None of us could hold out forever, and if something didn’t change sooner or later, we might all fall to the ravages of time.

It was a quiet November. Little progress. Late in the evening, not a single soul stirred. By some miracle, we were all asleep, whether it be in the dining hall or one of the rooms. I was the only one left awake.

I took the time to let down the cloth over my mouth, open wide for a sigh of relief. I’ve spent so long, having to do everything in silence, find small windows of time to eat in private, without the watchful eyes of anyone around. Shower, use the restroom, anything. There were precious few moments of ‘alone’ that I was granted, and that moment happened to be one of them.

On the bed beside me slept the middle-aged couple: Turmeric and her longtime boyfriend, Cumin. Those two never gave me much mind, always absorbed in each other. As much as I disliked seeing their displays of affection, I was thankful for their quiet. When I first saw them, the two were in terrible shape. Now, however, they looked much healthier, even if their faces displayed sheer sorrow whenever I caught a glimpse of either of them.

“How long do I have to keep this up?” I asked myself, my voice, foreign and hoarse. It had been ages since I spoke a word, and in the dead of night, I allowed myself the simple sin.

What brought me to a startling fright, however, was the door to the bedroom, opening up. It creaked a slow discordant creak and I jumped in place before turning my head.

Astraea stood in the doorway, and even through the darkness I could see her blank stare and that snowy, shimmering hair.

“Oh, Sister Cecilia. So this is where you sleep,” she spoke up, a breezy whisper, yet both clear and direct.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, but then covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe I did such a thing.

She too looked surprised, and covered her mouth, then let go.

“Ah, so you do have a mouth.” She crept in, and closed the door behind her, then tilted her head and a slight smile spread across her face.

“Don’t worry, Sister Cecilia. Your secret is safe with me,” she assured me, but I did not feel the least bit reassured. I scrambled for my paper and pen and in haste, wrote down:

“Well I know you’re not human.”

She dropped to her knees and leaned in close, closer than I would have expected. Her eyes widened and it was like I was staring at a bug through a microscope.

“I’ve gotten better at reading,” she informed me. “And yes, I am human. I may not act it sometimes, but I don’t have to act like a human to be one. Just like you don’t always have to act like a nun to be a nun.”

She then stood back up and headed for the door. Before she left, she craned her neck back and turned to me.

“Goodnight, Sister Cecilia.”

Trembling, I waved back to her, and my heart would not cease to pound against my chest.

What the hell was that all about?

I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night as I just wondered: Why? Why did she enter that night, and why did I feel so uneasy? More questions than answers floated around my mind and once again, I just had little else I could do but hope, hope that things would change soon.

#remoras full #story #writing #fiction #drama #slice of life #nuns #astraea #tigershark #arctic #new character #sister cecilia

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tomsrebeleyebrow · 4 years

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heavenly yours (part 1/3) | th x fem!reader

Heavenly Yours – a chaotic series

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | epilogue

Summary: Up in Heaven, Tom and (Y/N) have known each other since their youngest age as angels. They quickly began being inseparable, and maybe developed feelings but without ever confessing. One day, Superior Angels thought Tom’s convictions were being too big for Heaven. Fearing he could bring out a revolution between all angels, they took the decision to banish him of the Kingdom. Forever.

Pairing: Angel!Tom x Angel!Fem!Reader (will evolve)

Warnings: peaceful fluff, light PDA but nothing too crazy (did someone say sexual tension?) then total angst at the end so you’ve been warned!

Words count: 5624 (bless my soul and hands)

A/N: Hey there! Okay I’m really excited because my first mini series is now out!! 🙌🏻 I got this idea long time ago because Tom being King of Hell is hot, am I right?! 🔥 But I wanted to create a nice plot around it like how was everything before Faith turned the tables and how the reader will deal with it and other stuff, so here is a mini series of THREE PARTS taking place in an alternative universe (au)!! Hope you guys will enjoy it, I’m open to your constructive critics and opinions 😌💕

masterlist | series masterlist

Heaven.

The place we humans want to go and live in for eternity when we pass away. The afterlife everyone wishes for. Beautiful and peaceful. Heaven’s gates welcome you only if you deserve it, and your past life as human is erased from your memory. And then begins for you a new step of your existence: being an Angel.

Angels are known as being the definition of divine perfection created by God. They are gentleness and sympathy for others, gifted with a heart as pure as spring water. Dressed all in immaculate white, each one receives a pair of wings at their arrival; big and majestic, with feathers as soft as silk. No one in Heaven is imperfect. No one. An angel can’t and could never be imperfect… except if they break the Holy Laws.

(Y/N) doesn’t remember her life of Earth. Nothing. None. But this never scares her, quite the opposite. The day she arrived in front of the gate of the Hereafter she was not alone. Someone else stood next to her, dressed all in white like her. It was a young man, average height but with a great body and some muscles (quite in shape actually), a sharp jawline, a slightly crocked nose at the base with little freckles on it, and finally with nicely styled light brown hair that has some curls here and there. They caught the other’s eyes then both gave a faint smile.

“Hi.”

“Hello.”

A single word was enough for the two beings. One word said a lot.

« « (Y/N), Tom, my dear children welcome to Heaven. » »

Since that day, (Y/N) and Tom never left each other. Together, they discovered all the nooks of Heaven, the thousand and one marvelous places that they will call home from now on. Together, they met many other angels who then helped them to get used to the idyllic Kingdom. They also learnt how to be good angels. Together. Always. As the ‘days’ flew - abstract notion for angels because the effects of time don’t affect their physics anymore -, they started to know each other more and it was as if they have always known the other.

What a weird feeling...

How was this possible? Neither of them broached the subject because they both didn’t know the answer. At least, if there was one.

Looking at them being together is a delight for everyone’s eyes. Both are lucky and bless by the gods of beauty and when reunited, they sparkle like pure diamonds. Everybody like them, the children even more. (Y/N) and Tom don’t hesitate to take care of the young ones when they have a bit of free time, and needless to say they are good at it. And when they find themselves alone, the two angels make the most of it by taking walks in the numerous gardens and parks or by flying above the Kingdom next to each other between the clouds.

Never arguing, nor an inappropriate word. These two heavenly beings are only laughters and smiles and always here for the other. By the way, all Heaven noticed that (kind of discreetly) Tom and (Y/N) were rather touchy-feely with each other, but not in a naughty way. They hold hands all the time a lot. Sometimes (Y/N) would grad Tom’s arm and lean into it, or Tom would slid an arm around (Y/N)’s hips. There were also lots of endearments such as a caress on the cheek here or a kiss on the forehead there, and so much more. But nothing too much.

A pure platonic love.

Really?

* * * *

“Tom! (Y/N)! Look, we found more daisies for the flower crowns!”

The children run through the fields, their little arms full of varied flowers, to join (Y/N) and Tom who sit at the bottom of a blooming cherry tree. Other children also sit cross-legged near them and all linger over making flower crowns directed by the female angel. As for Tom, he sits behind her and does his utmost to braid her sublim hair while decorating it with the flowers collected by the young angels.

“It’s perfect but don’t run too fast!” (Y/N) warns them, smiling. The little ones then put all the flowers in the middle of the group before sitting too.

“Your hair is so beautiful, (Y/N)!” exclaims a little girl, her eyes sparkling in awe, “I wanna be as gorgeous as you!”

“Tom, the braid you made is stunning! You style hair so well!” a little boy next to Tom gasps, a half made flower crown in his little hands.

All this makes both (Y/N) and Tom smile. These little angels are so adorable that time flies by too fast with them.

“There, a beautiful flowered hairstyle for a divine angel” says Tom, admiring his work when done. And at that he leaves a soft peck on her bare shoulder before resting his chin on it, his face against hers.

(Y/N) chuckles, “Thank you Tom, it’s beautiful…” She strokes her long braided and flowered hair that falls on her shoulder and chest. Then she is able to smell the sweet and delicate scent from the flowers, and leaves a kiss in return on the young man’s cheek while warmly smiling into it, before rubbing her nose against it which makes Tom laugh.

“They’re being affectionate agaiiiiiiin!”

“You are sooooo cute together!”

The children snicker and squirm in front of this display of affection between the two grown angels. (Y/N) can’t help the huge smile on her face while looking at them all; wearing puffy dresses or shirts and pants, with little wings of their back that move with each of their laughs. She releases a sigh while feeling Tom slid his arms around her waist, bringing her even more closer to him. (Y/N)’s wings are closed but Tom can still feel them brush softly his face and torso.

She smells so good...

“So, who did finish they flower crown?” asks finally (Y/N) to the little group. Everybody raises the cute flower crowns above their head, proud of themselves and eager to know if they did good.

“They are all beautiful, congrats! Now, offer it to the classmate next to you.”

Following her instructions, the children look at each other before handing mutually the crown they made to a friend and receiving theirs in return, happy, and finally putting it on top of their ruffled hair. Each of them compliment the crown they got when (Y/N) slightly turns her head toward Tom.

“And here is yours, Tom.”

She spins her upper body in his direction, facing him, and places gently on Tom’s head the flower crown she just made. After adjusting it well, she looks at her work. That is to say (Y/N) is pretty talented. Her crown is generously ornamented with dahlias, gladiolus and splendid peonies, all multicolored but assembled in harmony. Some olive tree branches brighten up then strengthen the whole structure, adding a pleasant smell. The person wearing this crown is also for the viewing pleasure. Tom is radiant, all smile thanks to his friend’s gift. The colorful flowers highlight his brown curls of hair, as for his almond eyes and freckles sparsing on his nose. A quiver runs through (Y/N)’s body up to her wings. She couldn’t stop herself and arranges some strands of wild hair on his forehead, then cups his face between her soft hands.

“It suits you very well…” she whispers.

“I trust you and your skills more than anything, angel face” answers Tom, with soft eyes.

He puts his hands on (Y/N) ones for a moment, then snuggles his face in her right palm while leaving kisses on it. His lips are thin and a bit rugged but kind of soothing at the same time. They never break eye contact for a single second. No word exchanged. Just a look at each other, like when they met, is sufficient to communicate and they are the only one who know how to interpret it. In these moments they are in their own bubble, hiding from any curious eyes. Their surrounding long forgotten, they vowed (wordlessly) since the beginning to continue and cherish one another. Tom ends this moment a little too soon and takes (Y/N)’s hands in his, kissing them.

“It’s time to go back home, kids” he speaks to the little ones while watching them all.

After short protests, the children finally stand up one by one while brushing out dust from their clothes, and wait for the two adults before going back inside the Kingdom. Tom gets to his feet first and helps (Y/N) in return, still holding hands. Both soothe their large wings, under the children amazed eyes.

“Come on, let’s go home children, and stay together” points (Y/N) out.

The little angels gather together and start to walk. Tom and (Y/N) follow on their heels, hand in hand as usual, and keep moving to the first houses in sight of the Kingdom.

* * * *

The day comes to an end. The sky darkens little by little to let tones of stars take their place on it. The fresh breeze of the night ruffles (Y/N)’s face and hair while they walk back to their respective homes (needless to say holding hands, right?). The streets gradually clear out and they could hear their footsteps echoing in the quiet night. Both angels like taking a walk this late because everything is calm, peaceful. Tom and (Y/N) don’t live together, but their houses are obviously next to each other. Because in Heaven, each angel has their own space of living, except children who must live with an adult angel until the Superior Angels pronounce them capable of living alone.

Ah, Superior Angels… Tom could stand them less than before since recently, with all their rules, laws - or whatever they call them - for everything, but he couldn’t say that, oh no. Feeling something else as joy and compassion is forbidden in Heaven, yes, FORBIDDEN. It is one of the first Holy Law of the Hereafter, saying:

« « All Angel worth of the name will only be able to feel joy and compassion for the other. » »

But the one Tom couldn’t put on with any longer was worth than that:

« « All Angel will never feel more than brotherly love towards another Angel.

All Angel will never think about succumbing to carnal sin, definition of the damned underworld of Hell, at the risk of becoming a fallen angel and being forever banish for the Kingdom of Heaven. » »

Brotherly love. Carnal sin. Hell. Fallen Angel. Banished. These words don’t stop resonating in the mind of the young man. Every day. Every night. He tries forces himself to never forget them, especially in (Y/N)’s presence. But how can he resist her? Recently he feels like a weird sensation awaking deep inside of him, something unknown that keeps encouraging him to protect her but mostly keeping her to himself. He couldn’t bare the idea of some other male angel being near (Y/N) or acting way too familiar with her.

She is mine and mine only.

But what to do? He couldn’t risk and put her in danger by his fault. But these urges are more and more intense as the days pass, and Tom finds it harder every time to handle them. When he was alone at home his mind rambled in strange places that even himself didn’t know he could imagine. And strangely it was not as displeasing as he thought it would be.

“Tom, we’re here.”

The tinkling voice of (Y/N) brings Tom out of his wandering thoughts. They are, in fact, in front of the young woman’s door and barely two meters away from his.

“You’re all right, Tom?”

“Why would I not be all right when you are with me, my angel?” answers Tom with his signature toothy smile.

“You looked like… lost deep in your thoughts? If something worries you, don’t hesitate to talk to me about it. You know I will always be here for you…” carries on (Y/N), squeezing the hand Tom is holding.

“Ah… true to yourself, as always.” Tom snickers, a little smirk growing on his lips, and taking both her hands in his to kiss the top. “But don’t worry about me, I was just thinking about… things, that’s all.” Then he leans into her face and drop off a tender kiss on her cheek.

“What do you mean by “things”?” whispers (Y/N) in return, curious, in his ear. Their wings stretch little by little in their back to then brush themselves against the other’s creating like a cocoon around them, safe from too many indiscreet looks from other angels.

“My angel… I don’t want to involve you in anything, it would kill me to-”

“Don’t talk like that, Tom” interrupts (Y/N), “I don’t like it when you say these kind of things… You are all I have here…”

Don’t say that… Stop…

“Doll face, you don’t understand…”

A shiver travels Tom’s body at these words. His breathing begins to accelerate like his heartbeats. Tom couldn’t stop peppering her cheek with tons of kisses, he needed this, he couldn’t help it. Then he takes his hands back to put them on (Y/N)’s hips, holding her against his body. (Y/N) lets out a little whine of surprise while putting her hands flat on Tom’s chest, which is way closer than before. Never did she stop him to touch her. She appreciates having him next to her a lot and can’t go without it anymore. However she gets goose bumps while feeling Tom’s kisses move along her jawline to then reach the other cheek he neglects since now. That is definitely something new to her. She is aware of the sudden redness of both her cheeks and her heart getting carried away. Then (Y/N) follows Tom’s face and rubs hers on him like a kitten pleading for affection. The man’s hands starts massaging her hips and his thumbs draw circles as he goes up her waist, then back to her hips again.

“Tom… I-I feel weird…” stumbles (Y/N) in a squeak.

“Me too princess, since a long time…” answers Tom. “You are the most important person to me (Y/N) and for anything in this world would I be separated from you. But recently, there is… There is more. I can’t stop myself and think about you nonstop, I can’t go without you…”

Tom’s arms wrap even more around (Y/N)’s luscious body to now embrace her into him. The face of one nestled against the neck of the other, and vice versa. An embrace full of affection they have for each other. (Y/N) squeezes Tom against her and she is able to feel and hear both hearts pound wildly. Her body heat rises more and more, what was happening to her?

“Tom, I-”

But he interrupts her by raising his face from the crook of her neck, and places it in front of her own visage. Their nose brush together like their wings since the beginning with half closed eyes, liking the closeness and their tangled breathing. Their lips too brush and they wait for one thing...

“(Y/N), darling...” whispers Tom in a sigh. He hurries to stroke her face again, feeling her soft and flawless skin on his palm, before keeping his hands on her jaw and sighs, “I love you.”

And Tom finally succumbs to his deadly temptation but right now he couldn’t care less. Their lips finally touch and assemble like two perfect puzzle pieces. It is impossible to stop, this sensation is too strong and the temptation even more irresistible. The kiss starts being slightly more intense, with more open mouths and tongues than before. But Tom doesn’t want to go too fast. At least, not now. His goal is to show to his sweet (Y/N) how much she means to him before anything else, wishing she will accept his feelings. And it seems like so. (Y/N)’s mind is clearly troubled, she knows what is happening but she doesn’t want to stop. But Tom decides to end it - before he completely loses his self-control - but most importantly not to be seen.

“I love you so much (Y/N) and I promise to protect you until the end of the world.”

His declaration squeezes her heart. She nibbles on her bottom lip before taking Tom’s face again between her slender hands and leaves a short peck, full of meaning, on his thin lips slightly swollen from minutes ago.

“Me too Tom, I love you more than anything.”

Their hearts beats in unisson. Tom can’t help the smile on his face, large and as bright as the sun, and makes (Y/N) swirl in the air because he couldn’t contain his happiness. (Y/N) lets a joyful giggle out before holding back not to wake the neighbour angels up. The two angels, in love, stare at each other sparkles in their eyes like never since they arrived in the Kingdom of Heaven long time ago. They wish this moment would never end...

“I promise we will make it work, darling, I promise you.”

* * * *

The days passed, looked the same and flew by again and again.

Ton and (Y/N) continue to act as if nothing happened between them a few weeks ago. But sometimes their show of affection are a little… more daring like they used to be; a kiss on the corner of the lips or more “tight hugs”, but it was still rare kind of. Tom makes sure of keeping these intimate moments indoors, one-to-one, hidden from everyone. It is out of the question to let this be known by others.

Then one day - and more previous ones full of thinking about it -, Tom comes to pick (Y/N) at her house to share a meal for midday, as they usually do and when properly seated in the middle of a nice garden with their food ordered, he begins:

“Darling, I decided to go and talk with the Superior Angels after our meal. I asked them for a meeting and they agreed to it for today.”

(Y/N) straighten out her face from her food and raises her brows, blinking twice, “Why?”

“Just to explain and prove them that an angel can be in love with another one, that’s it.”

“But Tom, you know like me that we transgressed the principal rules of Heaven! What will happen if you tell them clearly we love each other? We don’t really know what they are capable of!!” answer (Y/N) kind of agitated, making her best to keep her voice as low as possible.

In fact nobody knows a lot about the Superior Angels. Apart from maintaining Heaven in order and deciding who is allowed to enter the Kingdom, it was often said that their sentences could be harsh and horrible. The young woman can’t just leave Tom go by himself.

“I’m coming with-”

“That is a solid no, doll face. Don’t worry, I will never say your name. I wanna make sure they will listen to what I have to say first and then I will improvise depending on their answer.”

Tom takes (Y/N)’s hands, placed neatly on the table, and kisses them like he loves to do and whispers:

“I love you (Y/N) and you know that. I promised I will protect you and make sure to keep my promise until the end.”

“I love you too so much Tom, so much…”

(Y/N) kisses back his hands and each knuckles while smiling. But she couldn’t help being scared for him.

After finishing their meal and chatting about lighter subjects, they walk a little in the garden they ate and then in the city, looking at some shops, stopping to talk with other angels and enjoying their share time.

Later they arrive in front of a large wrought iron front gate in solid gold. They could make out a long alley surrounded by big trees on the other side, without seeing too far away. And not a single sound. (Y/N) swallowed hardly because of the… strange atmosphere. She knows they arrived. Then she gets closer to Tom and slides her arms around his shaped body. The young man could smell her hair, as sweet as it have ever been while kissing on top of her head.

“Relax (Y/N), it’s me who should be stressed and not the other way around, right?” he smirks, sliding his own arm around her shoulder to keep her close.

“I know that but I can’t help it! And…” She interrupts herself and again, the silence reigns around them both. “This place makes me uncomfortable…”

Tom tightens his grip on her to reassure his poor lover. “Darling, don’t worry. Knowing you are mine is my biggest strength…”

(Y/N) cuddles up to him, her face pressed against his neck, also smelling his natural scent. This always calms her down.

“Please, be careful Tommy.”

“Yes, dove, I promise you.” Tom then tenderly kisses her forehead, “Once it’s over, I’m coming back to your place, is that all right?”

(Y/N) nods vigorously her head without saying a word, still nestled into him. She leaves here a quick peck before loosing her grip and cupping his face in her palms, massaging his cheeks while staring at each other. She knows she couldn’t let the three words slip out her mouth here so she chooses to tell him with her eyes. Tom understands straight away and stared back at her beautiful orbs.

“Me too, (Y/N). Me too.”

When they separate, Tom pushes the gate open and gets inside the enclosure where the Superior Angels were waiting for him. He breathes in one last time and, before the gate would close behind him, he turns around and sends (Y/N) another smile. She sends one back at him while sending him a flying kiss with her hands. He then walks away and in a snap he disappears into the fog. With no wish to linger here any longer and alone, the young woman goes back to the main street, in which she is sure to find people.

* * * *

5pm. 6pm. 7pm. 9. Then 11. Midnight is about to strike and still no sign of Tom. (Y/N) doesn’t know what to do. She is pacing in her living room nonstop for two hours now, agitated and panicked not knowing where her lover is.

“But what is he doing?!” she asks herself, biting her fingernail. “Please, tell me he’s safe!!”

Unable to stand still for another minute, she decides to go where they split path. (Y/N) leaves her house in a hurry and doesn’t care about the angels she bumps into by accident - to whom she still excuses herself but only a few time.

Again in front of the golden gate, the silence from earlier this day is still heavy. Just before she loses her courage, she opens it and ventures inside the place.

The atmosphere is almost unbearable. No sound from anywhere or anything. No one, not even a single bird or butterfly. (Y/N) keeps walking and enters the fog she saw Tom disappearing into, and finds herself a bit disoriented. Then voices, finally! Relieved she continues walking towards them - still blind - and after a few meters, she steps out of the thick fog.

“Where am I?...”

Hidden between gigantic oak trees, (Y/N) catches sight of an impressive stoned structure. While approaching it, carefully, she sees no door but a beautiful arcade as a doorway. Choosing to stay as quiet as possible, the young woman walks to it from the side and listens carefully. The voices are clearer now.

« « You persist with your talk, angel. » »

« « How dare you? » »

« « You have no right to speak about this kind of topic. » »

The voices are not familiar to (Y/N), none of them, so she deduces they are to the Superior Angels. The tone of their voices are plain but still severe, emotionless, and don’t seem to appreciate what is happening. (Y/N) is out of breath. Was Tom still with them?

« « Superiors, this angel has been corrupted. » »

“But you don’t understand!”

(Y/N) jumps by hearing this voice that she knows so well. A smile finds again a way through her face before she leans slightly to see more. And then she sees him. But what she sees now makes her previous smile congealed then melted into horror. Tears start to blur her vision. Tom is actually kneel down on the stoned floor, surrounded by at least ten Superiors Angels who levitate around him. His beautiful and strong wings now tied up, the rope way too tight because it visibly compresses them. His hands are also tied up and placed in front of him, fists tighten up. His usual relaxed face is no more and replaced with so much pain and… rage.

“Angels CAN love each other! This is as obvious as we once lived on Earth! Can’t you understand?!”

« « Did you forget the Holy Laws of our Kingdom, angel? No angel can show more than brotherly love to another one. » »

“I already know your stupid rules but they hurt us all! Why couldn’t we simply love each other?!”

Tom’s voice lets appear all his emotions at once and known. (Y/N)’s hands begins to shake. She feels deep inside that all this will not end as they wish it for.

« « Loving with Love is similar to only crave for the other’s body. All Love is a sin, the thirst to desire the flesh of the other and you, angel, want us, Kingdom of Heaven, to give our morals up to the damned temptations of the Kingdom of Hell? That will never happen. » »

« « You have been corrupted, angel. » »

« « And we thought you were perfect and worthy of the wings we gave you. » »

“I don’t care about the wings!! Free me and I will prove you that the Love I feel is not morbid!!”

Tom struggles with the rope to tempt and free himself but the Superior Angels’ control is too powerful for him. He can’t stop and think about (Y/N) to give himself some strength, he’s doing this for both of them, for their love, and to make everyone experiences this delightful feeling called love. He gritted his teeth by irritation.

« « Love is a sin. » »

« « And your wings are the proof of it. » »

One of the Superior Angels comes closer to Tom, still flying, and takes violently one of his wings to open and show it. Tom whines from this painful move.

« « Look. Your feathers are darkening, angel. You have been corrupted. » »

(Y/N) couldn’t see well what the Superior Angel is talking about but her tears run on her cheeks. Her breathing trembles, her hands sweaty as her entire body.

Please stop it.... Don’t hurt him...

Tom turns slowly his head toward the inside of his wing displayed to everyone, and he sees some feathers being more grey than immaculate white.

Now there are more than before…

And suddenly, as if by instinct, he feels her. His pained look turns discreetly toward the entrance of the structure, and then he catches sight of her. (Y/N), his sweet (Y/N), his love, hidden behind the wall supporting the arcade, in tears in front of what is going on. It was the first time he sees her like this, fragile and scared, and he wishes for anything but looking at her like this because of him. Tom lets escape a short sigh and he too wants to cry. But he stays stronger, for her, and regains his senses.

“You are the one corrupting us all. How can you imagine a second that we can find happiness by living alone? You decide if we are worth it to stay, then put us in a single house to lock us up in your too perfect Kingdom! Oh and of course we live our little life like the good brainless angels we are and we do the same everyday! That is not what life is supposed to be! I’m sure life was way better than this on Earth! We should be free of our acts like-”

« « Enough. » »

« « You talk too much, angel. » »

« « Your words are as corrupted as you are. » »

« « Who is the other angel you corrupted? » »

“I never corrupted anyone! And it’s called mutual love!!” screams Tom, rage leaking out from all his pores.

« « A name. » »

« « Now. » »

“Never!!!” retorts him.

« « Could it be Angel (Y/N)? » »

« « Did you corrupted our (Y/N)? » »

“Leave her outside of all this!! She knows nothing about it!!” Tom’s heart tightens at his own words.

I will protect her.

« « Our (Y/N) is perfect. » »

« « She is unique. » »

« « Never could she be corrupted. » »

“She is way too perfect for all of you and your stupid world....” whispers Tom between his teeth.

(Y/N) kneels down on the cold ground too, her legs trembling so much she couldn’t stay on her own two feet. What is going on right now is the worst scenario that could have happened. And she couldn’t do anything. Tom protects her with this own will, like he promised, and she hasn’t enough strength to stop her sobbing anymore.

“Oh Tom… Please let him go…” she cries her face pushed on the wall, her voice distorted by her tears.

« « We can’t tolerate your presence in our Kingdom anymore. » »

« « You have no right to be here anymore. » »

« « You have been corrupted. » »

Here it is. The end is coming. Tom had a suspicion since the beginning that if thing were not going well as he planned, it would be definitely over. He couldn’t care less about what are saying the Superior Angels anymore. And a single thought matters to him right now: seeing the face of his gorgeous (Y/N) one last time. He still contains his tears because making her even sadder than she is would finish him off. He wants her to be strong, like she always is, whatever happens. So he lets his gaze fall on the entrance arcade and she is still here, shivering like a newborn doe, red eyes and her cheeks wet. Can he just wish to have her in his arms one last time...

They gaze at each other and (Y/N)’s tears pour down her eyes even more. Her handsome angel is in pain, suffers an obnoxious martyr but she also suffers with him. Tom’s visage tries to be reassuring even when the ropes around his wings squeezes them badly. Its grip is a total pain, hurting some feathers but mostly the skin they are covering and he hisses at that. But still looking at her, he attempts to tell her not to worry about him and that, even if the worst is about to come, to keep living. (Y/N) shakes her head violently not daring to think what would happen to Tom. She just could imagine a second being away from him, even less for eternity. Her stubbornness makes Tom smile, exhausted, because her (Y/N) is so like this all the time. But the gods decided another faith for them.

And the sentence is pronounced.

« « Angel Tom, you are this day deprived from your angelic position and are now a fallen angel. » »

« « Your wings will be removed. » »

« « For breaking the Holy Laws, you are not welcomed in Heaven anymore. » »

« « For being corrupted, you are not welcomed in Heaven anymore. » »

Tom and (Y/N) still stare at each other until the end.

« « For giving in to the temptation, you are this day banish from Heaven. » »

« « Forever. » »

Before the Superior Angels finish the sentence’s statement, Tom whispers his last words to (Y/N), hoping she will get them by reading on his lips.

I love you… and will always love you, forever, my princess.

(Y/N) puts a hand on her mouth to conceal a painful sob. Her other hand grips her white dress to her heart’s lever and bites her bottoms lip to contain any sound that could come out. And before it is too late, she removes the hand from her mouth and whispers back to him:

I love you too so much and will love you until the end of the world...

Tom’s eyes glisten, tears finally ready to flow but he keeps them a bit more. He smiles for the last time.

« « Heaven is not your home anymore... » »

« « ... but now are the Depths of Hell. » »

(Y/N) feels her blood freezing. Tom lets his last sigh out and closes his eyes, facing down. Once the sentence done, a muffled sound comes out from the stoned ground and suddenly its opens itself under Tom’s hurt body and it is thrown inside, letting himself fall like a dead body. (Y/N) sees him fall and it is now too much for her to handle. She tries standing again, keeping her balance with the wall and starts to run to where she came from, behind the trees, like her life is on the line. Her sobbing finally escape and echo in the sorrowful night, then she gathers some speed before flying away, high in the air. The warm tears contrast with the cold air that slaps her face as she beats her wings harder and faster. The clouds disappear when she brushes past them.

Tonight she lost everything.

And her afterlife in Heaven will never be the same anymore.

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hopesilverheart · 3 years

Text

My sunshine in the snow

(read on ao3)

Pairing: Helen/Aline Rated: Gen Summary: “Faeries get a little bit of a boost in their own realm,” Helen explained with shrug. “I may only be half-Seelie, but it’s enough for the cold not to affect me. I have to say it’s quite nice; being able to enjoy all the snow without having to deal with frostbite.”

“God, you literally have sunshine in your veins,” Aline whispered, caught between amazement and jealousy. “I bet if it started snowing right now, the snowflakes would melt right off you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Helen snorted.

Or: Winters in the Seelie realm are as beautiful as they are cold, but Aline can always count on her own sunshine to make her melt.

For the @malecdiscordserver Advent Calendar

The Seelie realm during winter was one of the most beautiful things Aline had ever seen in her life.

Aline had been to the Seelie Queen’s court plenty of times in her life since her mother had always insisted that maintaining good relations with the Seelies was as useful to a Clave representative as knowing how to fight demons. All in all, Aline had been pulled between dimensions more times than she could count – never mind that she’d never wanted to be a Clave representative in the first place.

However, she’d never really had a reason to go there during the wintertime. Her parents had preferred keeping her close during the colder months, stating that everyone got a little more defensive and a little harder to deal around Christmastime. Aline had never understood their logic, but she also hadn’t been bothered enough by the rule to try and sneak into the other realm unsupervised.

As soon as she’d started dating Helen, however, she’d known things would have to change. She was an adult now and, although her parents still had more influence in her life than she might have liked, she wasn’t about to let them keep her away from the woman she loved.

Helen and Aline had spent the previous Christmas in the shadowhunter world, splitting their time equally between Helen’s family in LA and her family in Idris. It had been a wonderful time, and Aline would be more than glad to repeat the experience at a later date.

This year, however, she refused to let her parents dictate what she was going to do with her time. Helen had expressed an interest in spending Yule in the Seelie realm with her aunt Nene, and Aline had immediately known her family wouldn’t be seeing her that Christmas.

Unfortunately for her, that meant having to deal with complaints every day leading up to the winter solstice. By the time the date of her departure rolled around, Aline was more than ready to get out of her house and away from her overbearing parents.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Her mother asked her one last time as Aline stopped in front of the portal separating Idris from the Seelie world. “We all know how Seelies are with their traditions, and I wouldn’t want them to get offended by your presence. Besides, the holidays won’t be the same without you around.”

“I’m 23, mom, I’m pretty sure you can handle me not being there for Christmas,” Aline sighed, tired of having to use the same arguments over and over again. “Alec told me you’d already planned a joined Christmas Eve with his parents and the other Lightwoods, so I’m sure you’ll have a perfectly nice time.”

“You’ll be here for-”

“Yes mom, I will be here for New Year’s,” Aline rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Do we really need to go over this again? You know how fickle these portals are and I wouldn’t want to miss Helen because you were acting like an overprotective mother hen again.”

“I’m just trying to keep you safe,” the older woman frowned. “Am I not allowed to worry about you?”

“Of course you are,” Aline said as calmly as she could manage. “And I appreciate your concern, really, but I need to get going. I love you, alright? I’ll see you next week, I promise!”

She barely got to hear her mother’s answering ‘I love you too’, already halfway through the portal and more than ready to see her girlfriend again. Helen had been spending the past two weeks with her faerie family and friends as well as Mark, her brother, and Aline had missed her more than she cared to admit.

Needless to say, stepping out of the portal and not immediately laying eyes on Helen made her heart sink for just a second.

Only a second, though, because Aline was instantly awestruck by the sheer beauty of the world around her. The Seelie realm had always had an otherworldly, magical feel to it, but this was…

This was something else.

The ground and trees were covered in sparkling snow, making the world seem brighter than Aline had ever seen it, and it took her a second to even focus on anything other than the overwhelming whiteness of the woods. Even more beautiful than the snow, however, were the fireflies flooding the air with their soft lights. It wasn’t even night time, but Aline figured the rules of nature rarely applied to the Seelie realm, and she was honestly too entranced by the flickering lights around her to think about the theoretical side of it all.

She had no idea how long she stayed there, gaping at the glittery world she’d found herself in with wide eyes, but she had a feeling it was an embarrassingly long time. Long enough for Helen to appear behind her and startle her with one of her adorable tinkly giggle.

“You look like my siblings on Christmas morning,” the blonde said with an amused smile, leaning in to peck Aline’s kiss and laughing again when Aline whined at the too-brief touch. “Someone’s feeling affectionate, huh?

“I haven’t seen you in two and a half weeks, sunshine,” Aline pouted. “I feel like I have a right to be as affectionate as I want to be. That’s the longest we’ve been apart outside of official Clave meetings, and I vote that we never go through this again. My parents were about to drive me insane and this time I didn’t even have you around to soothe my nerves.”

“I’m sorry,” Helen chuckled, not sounding the slightest bit apologetic. “I missed you too, if that makes you feel any better.”

“It does,” Aline smiled before tapping her bottom lip impatiently. “I’m pretty sure another kiss would help even more.”

“Is that so?” Helen raised her eyebrows, looking like she was biting back another laugh as she leaned in again and pressed a longer, sweeter kiss to Aline’s lips. The brunette sighed into it, sliding her hands around Helen’s waist and melting against her girlfriend, happily cuddling closer to the other woman’s warm body.

“You’re like my personal heater,” she mumbled against Helen’s lips as the blonde pulled away from the kiss. “Seriously, it’s freezing here. Gorgeous, but also cold as hell. How on earth have you been handling weather like this for the past two weeks?”

“Faeries get a little bit of a boost in their own realm,” Helen explained with shrug. “I may only be half-Seelie, but it’s enough for the cold not to affect me. I have to say it’s quite nice; being able to enjoy all the snow without having to deal with frostbite.”

“God, you literally have sunshine in your veins,” Aline whispered, caught between amazement and jealousy. “I bet if it started snowing right now, the snowflakes would melt right off you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Helen snorted, her ears twitching as she looked up at the sky. “But speaking of snow…”

“Seriously?” Aline groaned. “As if it wasn’t cold enough already. Please tell me there’s a warm spot nearby, because I feel like my fingers are about to fall off.”

“Your fingers are fine,” Helen flicked Aline’s nose gently, although the protective curl of Helen’s fingers around the brunette’s hands didn’t escape Aline’s notice. “But don’t worry, my aunt’s place is only a few minutes away. Just enough time to see what you look like covered in snowflakes. I bet you look stunning.”

“Stop that,” Aline blushed, blowing the first snowflake she spotted towards Helen and laughing when her girlfriend caught it on her tongue, not even shivering at the feeling. “You’re the one who looks beautiful no matter the weather and the place.”

“I think you’re biased,” Helen retorted, but the reddening of her pointy ears gave her away. It took all of Aline’s willpower for her not to kiss the tips of those ears fondly and even then, it was a close call. If it were up to her, she would never stop kissing Helen.

Aline opened her mouth again, words of praise on the tip of her tongue, but one look into Aline’s light eyes had her forgetting how to speak. Her eyes were brighter than ever, enhanced by the white snow around them, and her hair was somehow already covered in snowflakes.

Now Aline wasn’t one to believe in angels and miracles but right then, Helen looked like a physical representation of both those things. Her blond hair shone with flecks of white, and her eyes crinkled up happily as her gaze landed on Aline again.

God, she was beautiful.

“What?” Helen scrunched her nose up, crossing her eyes as though trying to look at herself and find whatever Aline was looking at. “I have snow everywhere on me, don’t I? You certainly do.”

“Yeah, you do,” Aline breathed out. “You look so pretty, sunshine.”

“I-” Helen started, cutting herself off before she could finish her sentence. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” Aline smiled, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s forehead before tightening her hold on Helen’s hand and letting the blonde guide her to her aunt’s house without further delay.

And if she intentionally slowed her pace down to admire Helen’s radiant figure for a while longer… Well, no one needed to know.

#Heline #heline fic #my writing #Shadowhunter Advent Calendar #fluff #christmas #helen blackthorn #aline penhallow #girls in love #snowflakes #i love these girls so much #thank god i decided to write them again

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evelyn-foresis · 3 years

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Second edition redraw of Artemis in fairy robes, with her familiar Aries. Let it be known, red is my least favourite colour.

Tale 11: Artemis Craweleoth & The Griminthrope (chapter 1 - Child of Autumn 1/5) part 3. Stories of Fey

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Artemis was the third Daughter of King Mage Morgan Cynedom, and his wife, magician Emilia Loket. As prophesized, Artemis was born on the autumnal equinox, in the third quadrant of the table of fours, red; and was thus the child of fall. Each of the four siblings belonged to one quadrant; which had a one season, element, colour, direction, metal, and two to three beast kingdoms of fey. Each of Morgan’s children were to be named by a beat king whose fey kingdom was in the child’s quadrant. For Artemis, this meant one of the two Beast Kings of the red quadrant, had the privilege of naming her. The Beast King’s, being of fey, found names important, and considered Morgan their brother; It was a high honor the ten fey kings quarreled about. In the end, The Raven King had won the bid of bestowing a name on Artemis, and houseing her in the raven magic house of Craweleoth, or Ravensong.

Magic House aside, Artemis was like a bird in many ways. Loud and feisty, a trickster, hung around in trees; and had a lovely singing voice she paired with the oddest dances. Her Fairy robes were red and ebony like fall, and collared with black feathers. A sheer skirt clipped about her waist was red, and embroidered in the pattern of a phoenix’s tail. Artemis had tall boots and gloves with coins sewed along them, to match her collar and belt. She could blend into a maple orchard in October. These fairy robes were a gift from the Fairy King; who makes them to protect beloved mages safe from spell or sword. Keeping these human guardians of magic and fey, clean and safe. To give each of Morgan’s children lovely magic clothes to match their naming, gave her great joy. On most days, she avoided her fairy robes, and Artemis wore turtle neck sweaters, leggings, boots, and denim jumper or overalls on top.

Before the end of magic school, there was no spell Artemis couldn’t cast with music, or balled she could not perform. The trick was finding her in the thick of her father’s magic forest. When it came to hiding in the trees, she blended in unlike her siblings; Her hair was bronze like her fathers, and was medium length and wavy, tied in a knot. She moved about so much; Emilia didn’t want her hair catching on things. She knew a thing or two about long hair inconvenience. To match the wood of the trees, Artemis also had her mother’s ebony eyes. Even after she had gone dark in school, the magic moving through her didn’t changed her colours like other magic users. Her hair simply went a little redder. As a rebellious untamable problem, Artemis was short, freckled, sturdy, and fearless; and as ethereal as her siblings, but in an eerie sort of way, instead a radiant sort.

As a gifted mage, more attached to magic then reality, she picked up skills quickly. One of Artemis’s first spells was summoning her familiar Aries, a black raven she adorned with beading; and whom which Artemis flew on occasion. She learned this from her father, who whose familiar Icarus, was a golden eagle he liked to ride as well. Sometimes they would play sky tag, infuriating Emilia; It terrified Artemis’s mother. As far as they were concerned, who needs, trains, bikes or vehicles, when you have a trusty wingman. Artemis always had the intent of staying where she was born, on Tiberius Gate, with her father and family forever. She loved specking with the fey children of the raven and tree kingdoms; serenading the gate’s vast forest, with ballads written by mages long ago. Morgan and his daughter would sing to the gate together; He had taught Artemis more songs from his library of mages, then any of the charmers she would meet in magic school. When she left the gate for school, or ran errands, Artemis would sing to the fey in town; as the magic forest of her father’s gate extended down into the small town of Pepperidge. Even when her siblings grew up and left, Artemis was reliably there to charm them.

Artemis went through magic school, made no friends, and preferred the company of her familiar and family. Not to different form her brother and sisters; which was something their parents didn’t prepare for, though should have expected. They were a loving magic family every day, when personalities didn’t flare up. The problem with Morgan and Emilia’s overly enchanted brood, was they were neglecting other aspects of life, for magic. They only wanted to pry their children away from mythical symbiosis, to make them functional members of society. However, if their father and his friends weren’t evidence enough; Stopping this behavior in humans born with a greater affinity for magic, is fundamentally pointless. But at least everyone was happy. Including every fey. One big happy magic forest school village. With lots of blooming little magic hermits.

That said, perhaps someone might now prefer not to go looking for her at all; As a bird on a branch, seen only for a second, Artemis was better left to her own unorthodox ways. To anyone who knew Artemis, her presence was intrusive, unrelenting, and loud. In spite of her energetic antics, Artemis was still a good sister. For each prank Artemis pulled, she gave a hand when her family needed it. Artemis was very handy and clever; fixing plumbing and fur nature without duct tape, in new and exciting ways. Artemis stood a proud cheerer of her siblings, and magic home. She was not a paladin, but it is said that mage charmers are more powerful; A charmer can manipulate anything they want for miles round, without lifting a finger.

Artemis’s unsettling birdlike mannerisms, and personality, turned many people away before they had the chance to bully her. It followed her even after graduation. Her attraction to shinny things alone was good material for immature adolescents, or adults. But she was Teflon against any insult; Artemis’s secret was not caring. Aside from her wild spirit, Artemis passed through events in her life like a bird migrating on a mystical journey; undeterred from a desired destination. From up high, and far away, Artemis could see everything, everyone, and do as she please. Artemis was light, untouchable, and lively; and she knew it.

After graduation, Artemis remained on Tiberius Gate, in Pepperidge, with her parents and community. Mockery would not pry her from her dream of quaint homey living. Even when Morgan and Emilia’s youngest, her little brother Patrick, moved out to be a paladin, Artemis still stayed. Her parents were happy to have her; at least one child to wake up too every day, when all others flew the coop. No longer a child, Artemis was still singing and flying around town, helping any fey or people who wanted it, for shinny coins. She made a meaningful living off small jobs. Artemis spent her time singing, beading, dancing, and showing around tourists. Artemis came home each night, after a day’s adventure, to help her parents make dinner and care for they fey on Tiberius Gate itself. She loved her simple life. A meaningful life.

One day, while Morgan was off at the academy substituting, he got an urgent call. But he wasn’t at home to answer. It was from a radio phone in the Westlands; Emilia answered it in the kitchen. She didn’t want to worry Morgan, so Emilia got Bandrel, their hearths fire wilding, to hold the call. He smiled, cooled down, crawled out of the tower’s oven furnace, which was his duty, and held the phone. Fairies never get to hold phones; he felt more special than normal.

“Bandie, would you take this? I don’t care if it gets bit cold in the tower from the fall air. It’s Patrick. Have a nice talk with him while I find Artemis. I don’t want to make my husband an anxious mess while he’s at work…” Emilia said casually to the small fairy boy. Bandril nodded excitedly and took the phone in his little hands.

“Hello, Tiberius Gate, Bandie speaking,” Bandrel said smiling. He turned to Emilia, and covered the talking piece. “I always wanted to say that!” he wiggled. Emilia smiled and left the main tower, to whistle into the forest. Not any whistle, as some whistles summoned fey; This was a sound to summon her daughter. Emilia made a perfectly medium range whistle, that tapered like a bird’s song, into the thick old magic growth. The tree’s whispered, as Emilia stared into the woods waiting for Artemis to whistle back. Artemis was in a tree right above her.

“What’s up mom.” Artemis said, hopping down and scaring Emilia. She jumped back, scared for her life. She hated when her family snuck up on her like that. Emilia could bend reality just by believing, but the magic here seemed to catch her off guard. She never got used to it; her children and husband were too stealthy.

“After all these years, you’d think I’d be used to it. Your twenty now. Am I getting old…” Emilia gasped. “Come inside, and sit by Bandrel’s warm fire with me; Your little brother called form Grand Snow. He wanted to speak with your father, but you’re the next best mage.” Emilia said rapping her arm around her daughter.

“Patrick only left six months ago…” Artemis said under her breath. “He didn’t even get an apprenticeship, yet got a post. Of course, it’s Patrick calling. Always Patrick!” She scoffed. Emilia elbowed Artemis in the side. A young lady should not throw her sibling under the bus. That is what older ladies do. Artemis had a little middle child syndrome. Emilia always wanted a boy, unlike their father Morgan, who was a grade-A girl dad. A father’s love evened things out, adding plausible deniability to parental favouratism. Children can smell inequality like sulfur. Every time mother mentioned Artemis’s little brother’s name, she winced.

Once inside, Emilia and Artemis headed to the kitchen. Artemis arranged the fire wood into a cradle inside the large hearth, for Bandrel to sleep in. Then Bandrel handed her the phone, and crawled back in the oven. Emilia set up some chairs and mugs of tea, for some cuddling by the warmth of Fairy fire. Emilia knew Artemis well enough to know providing some reassuring love would calm her down; Artemis needed to be calm to talk on a phone; and play nice to her little brother. Artemis plopped down in a chair, kicked back, and answered the phone. The long-distance charges must have been astounding.

“Hey Patrick, dad gone, mom miss you, me here. What’s up bro. What can I do you for?” Artemis said, sipping from her mug of tea. She spat up a little; it wasn’t steeped yet.

#art #tales of ealden cynedom #fantasy #short stories #story 11 #artemis #aries #morgan #emilia #patrick #icarus

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Tree House Kisses, Chapter 5 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

Chapter Summary: Just when Adore’s tired of being tired, someone new shows up. But why wasn’t Courtney informed?

Chapter 5: Shape of You

Adore shoved a couple of chips into her mouth, nose wrinkled in disgust, watching the obvious way Roy was flirting with Courtney, and the shameless way she was lapping up the attention. It had started with him teasing her, and currently had devolved into him attempting to tickle her on the grassy hillside where the group ate their lunch, as Courtney shrieked and giggled and pretended to want him to stop.

It had been a strange summer. After the bombshell news about Courtney’s parents dropped, Adore had decided not to reveal anything to her best friend about her sexuality yet. She tried to be a rock, a shoulder to cry on. She made a serious effort to spend time with Courtney all summer - even begging Bonnie to take Courtney along with them when they visited her cousins in Arizona, and making sure that no more than a few hours went by without a text.

Sometimes, she felt like she was leading a double life. Because while all that was going on, at the same time, she was taking every possible opportunity to sneak off with Violet. They had long since passed the days of mere make-outs in the tree house, and graduated to more adult forms of sexual experimentation. Violet was desperately in love with Fame, another girl in their class (although she tried to act cool about it), and it helped Adore to know that neither one of them was going to have their feelings crushed - at least, not by each other.

As Courtney had become fond of saying - romance and love and relationships were utter bullshit. The only thing in life that could truly be counted on were your friends.

And even that, Adore realized, was not guaranteed, as she watched her best friend act like a total fucking braindead idiot with a boy who had been annoying them since elementary school.

“Royyyyy, stoooop!” Courtney whined, giggling and simpering at him.

Adore stood up, the remnants of her lunch in her hands. “You know, when you want someone to stop touching you, giggling and batting your eyelashes is kind of a mixed message,” she said, then turned and flounced away.

Courtney jumped up and hurried after her. “Dory, wait up!”

Roy sighed slightly, whining to no one in particular, “Goddammit. Adore totally just fucked up my game.”

Jamin and Bob both laughed.

“What game?” Jamin asked.

“Yeah bro, you got no game,” Bob added.

“I have game!” Roy defended.

Alyssa and Darienne exchanged a look.

“Sorry, how long have you liked Courtney?” asked Darienne.

“Yeah, and you’re still just friends?” added Alyssa, with a judgmental pop of her tongue. “Maybe she’s trying to tell you something.”

The pretty brunette gave Roy a playful shove, fluttering her lashes.

“I’m taking it slow.”

“You’ve known her since you were like 3. That’s reeeeeeal slow, man,” Thorgy laughed.

“No fuckin’ game,” Bob proclaimed.

“Courtney!” Roy hurried up to Courtney at her locker, trying to catch her between the lunch bell and fifth period.

“Hey.” Courtney turned around, shutting her locker and flashing him a lopsided grin.

“Um...so...have you seen that new Exorcist movie yet?”

“Nope...have you?”

“No, but, uh...I heard it’s good. I was gonna try to see it this weekend.”

“Cool...” Courtney smiled, giving him a glimmer of hope.

“Are you free Friday? Do you want to maybe come with me?” Roy asked tentatively.

“Sure,” she agreed, slinging her backpack over her shoulder. “Who else is coming?”

“Oh. Um…” Roy shifted slightly. “I kind of thought it would just be the two of us.” He watched her face carefully as recognition dawned in her eyes.

“Oh…” she said softly, biting her lip nervously.

Roy cleared his throat and quickly backtracked, “You know, as friends.” He gave her a shaky smile, flashing his dimples.

“Right! Of course!” Courtney beamed up at him, eyes bright, radiant smile melting his heart. “So...I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, definitely.” Relief and shame coursed through him. You fucking pussy, he told himself.

Courtney bit her lip again, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder and bouncing away down the hall. Bob, leaning on his locker nearby, gave Roy a knowing smirk.

Roy shook his head as Bob came sauntering towards him. “Don’t even start.”

Bob laughed. “Noooo fuckin’ game.”

“Fuck off,” Roy snapped, punching Bob on the shoulder.

COURTNEY: What do I wear? I don’t want to give him the wrong idea...

COURTNEY: But I still want to look cute.

COURTNEY: Do you think it’s really a just friends thing or is he full of shit?

ADORE: He’s full of shit

COURTNEY: LOL

COURTNEY: Well...

COURTNEY: If this is a date, what do I DO?

COURTNEY: Do I let him kiss me?

COURTNEY: I don’t know if I even like him like that...

COURTNEY: DORY HELP

ADORE: Come over. I’m bored.

VIOLET: Sorry pumpkin. It’s my brother’s birthday. We’re classing it up at the Outback Steakhouse tonight.

ADORE: Fuck.

VIOLET: What would you do if I was there??

VIOLET: …

VIOLET: Tell me where you’d touch me...

ADORE: I’m not in the mood for this.

VIOLET: You’re no fun at all.

ADORE: Yeah, well. Life is no fun.

VIOLET: Emo cunt

ADORE: Fuck off

VIOLET: Ohhhhhh...tonight’s your boo’s big date, huh?

ADORE: Goodnight, Violet

COURTNEY: DUDE

COURTNEY: He’s wearing so much cologne

COURTNEY: OMG I think this is a date

COURTNEY: WTF do I do?

COURTNEY: Adore???

COURTNEY: OK he’s being really nice and he keeps giving me those puppy eyes

COURTNEY: I feel kind of bad

COURTNEY: I really wish you were here

COURTNEY: Lol I just said “supposably” on purpose and he didn’t even correct me (I mean he clenched his teeth but he didn’t say anything)

COURTNEY: Lol he’s trying so hard

COURTNEY: It’s really pretty cute...

COURTNEY: DORY ARE YOU ALIVE???

“Ugh!” Adore hurled her phone out the window, into the grass. She curled into a ball and squeezed her eyes shut. And then she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, hands were shaking her awake.

She opened her eyes to see Courtney leaning over her in a relatively modest (for her) outfit, consisting of a sweater, colorful leggings, mini-skirt, and ugg boots.

“Why are you ignoring me?” she pouted, hands on her hips.

Adore groaned. “I fell asleep. How was your date?”

“It wasn’t a date.”

“Yeah, yeah. So did you kiss him or what?”

“Nope.” Courtney flopped down next to Adore on the bean bag, resting a head on her shoulder.

Adore sighed. “You will.”

Courtney laughed. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

Adore had seen the moving truck in the driveway yesterday, on her way back from Violet's. To her disappointment, she didn't see anyone, but like everyone else on the street, she was curious as to who was moving into their neighborhood. Adore and her mother even made a bet a couple of weeks ago, when Bonnie announced that the house had been sold. Adore was sure that their new neighbors were going to be a fresh young couple with small kids (also hoping she could get a babysitting job), and Bonnie was convinced that it was an older couple that she had seen looking at the house not long after Bendela’s family moved out.

“I just want you to casually walk by and see what you can peek,” Bonnie said from her place by the stove scrambling eggs, “But don't be creepy, okay?”

“What? I'm not creepy,” Adore leaned on the table, slightly offended.

“Yeah, sometimes you are. You got them big ol’ eyes and sometimes you just stare at people,” Bonnie turned to look at Adore, who was frowning. “Now, don’t get upset, I'm just saying that when you get nervous or shy you tend to just stare. And though it can be endearing, it’s also…a little bit creepy. Like the other day at the grocery store,” Bonnie continued to elaborate.

“What?” Adores voice went up a couple of octaves, “I didn't do anything at the store!”

“Oh, I know you didn't. You just gawked at the cashier as she flirted with you. I was so embarrassed. ‘My child is so awkward,’ I thought,” Bonnie sighed dramatically.

Since Adrian went to college a couple of months ago, the pair had become closer than Adore ever imagined. Being the last one in the house made Bonnie clingier than ever. Everywhere they went, her mother continuously pointed out pretty girls, trying to figure out Adore's type, even though Adore insisted she didn't have a type. Bonnie also let Adore have a glass of wine with her in the evenings, while they watched movies or ate dinner.

“That's totally different, she was gorgeous,” Adore exclaimed standing up from the table and grabbing two plates out of the cabinet.

“Okay, and? So are you,” Bonnie turned off the stove, scooping the eggs onto both plates.

“I was caught off-guard.”

“How? She was checking you out before we even got to the register.”

“I… I just didn't realize she was actually flirting with me until,” Adore tried to find the right excuse for her cold feet in the store the other day, “I thought she was just doing her job,” Adore shrugged, taking the waffles out of the toaster.

“Adore, you’ve got to work on your gaydar or you'll never get a girlfriend.”

Adore tried to be discrete as she wandered down the street to Dela’s old house. She noticed that the moving truck was no longer there, indicating that the mysterious neighbors were now settled in. Adore made sure to appear as casual as possible as she strolled past the driveway.

All of that was soon thrown out the door, when she saw the blonde crouched next to dirt bike. Stopped in her tracks, Adore stood mouth agape as she drank the girl in, because damn was she sexy. The girl’s thick blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail with a few strays falling loose, long creamy legs were on display thanks to a pair of cut off shorts, paired with a loose white tank top and beat up combat boots. All of it making Adore’s heart go into overdrive. And when she looked up at Adore with those ice-blue eyes framed by thick liner, Adore knew she was a goner.

Adore swallowed, when the girl rose from her crouched position everything seeming to move in slow motion as she made her way towards a mesmerized Adore. She took in every part of the girl, her slim frame, her red bra shown clearly through the thin top and her face--fuck she was beautiful. She definitely wasn’t an old groggy couple, or a three-year-old in need of a babysitter.

“Sup,” the blonde nodded stopping in front of her, eyes trailing down Adore’s body. Her voice was slow, low and fucking sexy.

“Uh,” Adore giggled nervously, “Hi.”

“So, I’m guessing you live ‘round here. Came to check out the new neighbors,” the blonde said, shifting her weight to one leg, linking her thumbs in her belt loops.

“Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I live a couple of houses down. Yeah, that one right there, I don’t know if you can, like, see it. It’s the one with the tree house in the backyard,” Adore stumbled over her words pointing in the direction of her house. She couldn’t believe it, in a matter of seconds she’d been reduced to a blubbering, giggly mess.

Her heart raced as the blonde leaned in towards her to get a look at where Adore was pointing, “That one, right there?” she pointed in the same direction as Adore, her voice sending shivers down Adore’s spine.

“Yeah,” Adore swallowed, quickly looking away to try to regain her composure.

“Well, nice to meet ya, I’m Pearl,” the girl held her hand out, blue eyes boring into Adore’s.

“A-Adore,” she reached out to meet Pearl’s hand.

COURTNEY: Meet me at the flagpole before class starts?

ADORE: Sorry, busy

Adore stuffed her phone into her bag as she led Pearl to the office to get her schedule from the office.

“Hopefully we have some classes together, but even if we don’t I can still show you to them. I mean, like, if you want me to, ya’ know,” Adore offered. She tried to play it cool, but she knew Pearl had her wrapped around her finger and it’d only been two days.

Pearl wasn’t just a pretty face, she was hilarious--with her deadpan sense of humor, filled with random facts. And they had a lot of interests in common. And when Pearl confirmed that she was a lesbian, Adore nearly fell out of her chair. Literally.

They were in Pearl’s garage drinking soda, listening to Green Day, Adore giving her a picture of what to expect from school.

“I mean I haven’t really been hanging out with my friends as much as I use to. Kind of just been a floater lately; talking to this person and hanging out with that person. Usually my best friend, Courtney. You should meet her; she’s amazing,” Adore shrugged tilting the chair forward. She was sitting backwards on the chair, legs on either side, arm resting on top of the back as she rocked.

“Well, I mean high school is that time when people start to go their separate ways. But, now you’ve got me. I’m just hoping there’s a lot of cute girls. I mean I haven’t been let down so far,” Pearl said, taking a sip from her can.

Adore face went red at the compliment, but was more focused on getting a solid answer, “Cute girls?” she inquired, making sure to keep her tone light, as she leaned forward with the chair.

“Yeah, I’m a girl’s girl,” Pearl winked and Adore nearly lost her balance, the chair almost slipping away from her. Luckily, Pearl reached out to help steady her.

“Of course, I want you to show me around. Don’t let me get stuck with some preppy tour guide who’s way too enthusiastic and happy to be here,” Pearl gave a crooked smile.

Adore giggled, since that tour guide would likely have been Darienne or Thorgy, who certainly fit the “preppy and too enthusiastic” description.

After getting Pearl’s schedule, they happily realized that they had three out of six classes together. “I can show you to your homeroom now or later, but I don’t think it’ll matter. We only go to homeroom to pick up papers or on important test days,” Adore explained.

“We can go to class now and stop by in between classes,” Pearl suggested.

“Okay, then. Let’s go to English,” Adore said, leading Pearl to first period.

“Mr. Harris, this is Pearl.”

“Oh, we have a new student?” the older man looked up from his desk, “Well, why wasn’t I informed about this?” he mumbled to himself, shuffling the papers on his desk.

“Yeah, Pearl Lent,” Pearl introduced herself. “Well, take a seat, wherever you choose, and talk to me after class so we can get caught up,” he dismissed the two.

Adore led Pearl to the back, where she usually sat. They were soon joined by April and Bob.

“You must be the new girl,” Bob smiled at Pearl.

“Yep.”

“Yeah, this is Pearl. She’s fucking cool.”

“Hi, I’m April.”

"Hi there." Pearl smiled charmingly up at April.

“Mhm, it’s pretty weird having someone living in the old Emerson’s house,” Bob started.

Adore’s brows furrowed, confused because that was not Bendela’s last name.

“Yeah, it’s been empty for as long as we can remember. Right Adore?”

“What are you-”

“Yeah. You know it’s haunted,” Bob continued, leaning forward onto Pearl’s desk. “Apparently, the Emerson’s son was a murderer and they moved when suspicions started to rise. The story is that their son started off killing animals in his backyard for fun- sacrificing them. Then one day, he grew curious. Wondered what it would be like to take the life of something bigger, more significant, a person. His first victim was his four-year-old neighbor. He suffocated him, then cut up his body before burying him. Then after that he couldn't stop. He grew addicted to the power. Some say that his parents knew and were just too afraid to confront him. Others say that they didn’t believe their sweet child could do all the horrible things that he was being accused of...” Bob was so close to Pearl, his voice falling to a whisper at the end.

Adore looked at Pearl, who was staring at Bob with a look of disbelief, confused and creeped out because her parents had told her that a family had just moved out earlier that summer.

“He’s so full of shit, Pearl,” Adore shook her head.

“Adore!” Bob laughed, “You’re always ruining things.”

“It wasn’t even funny.”

“Yeah, because you didn’t give it a chance to be.”

“Bob,” Adore sighed, “You’re just not funny,” she tried to keep her tone serious.

“Adore, stop lying,” Bob shook his head, “I’m hi-lar-ious,” he said, turning to April, who was a giggling mess in her seat, “See!”

Before Adore could reply, she was interrupted by Courtney, who she hadn’t even seen come in.

“Uhm, Hi, you must be Pearl,” Courtney gave a tight smile.

“Yeah, and you are?” Pearl leaned forward, attention on the pretty green-eyed girl.

“Courtney, and this is my seat.”

Pearl frowned, but shook her head and with an ‘okay’ and started to gather her things to move, not wanting to be problematic on her first day.

She was stopped by Adore, who put her hand on her arm, “Wait,” she said, and then turned to her best friend. “Courtney, it’s her first day. I’m showing her around, let her sit here, we don’t have assigned seats. Just sit next to April,” Adore tried to convince Courtney.

Appalled and offended, Courtney’s mouth dropped opened at her best friend’s words. “What?” she scoffed.

“Court, come on. Don’t be like that, just let her sit here,” Adore said, pouting at the end.

“I can move. It’s not a big deal, Adore,” Pearl said moving to gather her stuff again.

“No,” Adore whined before looking back to Courtney.

“Adore, she just said it’s no big deal and I’ve been sitting next to you since the first day of class. That’s not fair,” Courtney was now annoyed, not at Pearl, but Adore’s audacity to let someone that she just met take her seat, then try to convince her to sit somewhere else.

“Okay, okay. You’re right,” Adore finally agreed, “Pearl let’s sit over there, there's two open seats.”

As Adore and Pearl moved, Courtney scrunched up her face, sitting down with a huff.

Adore was over the moon to have Pearl in her classes. Introducing the beautiful girl to everyone, giddy when Pearl turned to look at her for reassurance or to make a face. Maybe, it was because Pearl was new and different. Adore had been surrounded by the same people most of her life and Pearl’s presence was such a breath of fresh air, Adore could barely contain her excitement.

“You don’t have to buy a locker if you don’t want. You can share with me?” Adore offered as they left Pearl’s homeroom teacher who had given her a bunch of papers that she would need.

“Really?”

“Yeah, no reason for you to pay five dollars for a locker, when I have plenty room in mine.”

“Wow, I guess I need to start thinking of a way to pay you back,” Pearl winked and Adore blushed when their hands lightly brushed together.

As the pair made their way to math, a particular short skirt caught Adore’s attention. Violet was bent over in front of her locker, going through her bag and Adore, excited to introduce Pearl, dragged the girl over to Violet.

“Hey, babe,” Adore greeted Violet, her hand lightly touching the exposed skin on Violet’s thigh to get her attention.

“Hey,” Violet stood up, turning to press a light kiss to Adore’s cheek before looking over to the blonde with narrowed eyes.

Pearl was unashamedly checking Violet out, taking in her pretty doll-like face, long black ponytail, crop top, and skirt.

“Hm, this must the infamous Pearl,” Violet said, a bored look on her face as she looked Pearl over. She had to admit that the girl was gorgeous, but Violet didn't plan to let Pearl know that.

“Infamous,” Pearl repeated in her slow drawl, “I wouldn’t use that word, but I am Pearl,” she finished with a crooked smirk.

Adore glanced between them hoping that they would get along, but from Violet’s demeanor it didn’t seem like she was planning to befriend the girl anytime soon.

“Whatever, everyone’s been talking about you. And I’ll say, I’m not impressed.”

“Oh, so, I’m guessing you’re the mean girl,” Pearl said, her tone joking.

“Sure,” Violet rolled her eyes, turning to pick up her bag and close her locker, “See you later, beautiful,” Violet said, pressing another kiss to Adore’s cheek, this time longer, making sure to leave a red print on Adore’s cheek. She pulled away, before sending Pearl a look and walking away.

Adore wiped the print from her cheek, as Pearl watched Violet walk away, her curiosity evident.

“Uh, girlfriend?” Pearl asked as she looked back to Adore.

“No, no,” Adore assured.

Pearl raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Well, she’s fucking gorgeous and she didn’t really seem to like me and that kiss was definitely a claim,” Pearl wiped the rest of Violet’s lipstick off her face as they made their way to their next class.

“Nah, we have like a friends with benefits kind of relationship, but she’s not like jealous or anything, I'm positive. She just likes to leave her mark and being difficult, that’s just her. But she’ll come around soon,” Adore nodded.

Gia and Laganja slid into the seats on either side of Courtney. She looked up from the math homework she was trying to finish before the bell rang. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey Court,” said Laganja. “You alright? You seem kind of...”

“Out of sorts…” Gia finished slowly, with a wry smile.

“I’m fine.”

“Hmmm.” Laganja clicked her tongue, imitating her role model, their head cheerleader, Alyssa Edwards.

“What do you think of that new girl?” Gia asked. “She’s like...really beautiful, huh?”

Courtney shrugged, “I mean, she’s pretty...I guess...”

“You guess? She’s gorgeous, and Adore seems to really like her,” Laganja pushed, observing Courtney’s reaction closely.

Courtney shifted in her seat, her mouth slightly turned down as she frowned, “She’s just showing her around because she’s new.”

Just then Adore and Pearl walked in together, Adore standing with Pearl as she introduced herself to the teacher.

“Eh, I don’t think that’s it,” Gia said, “I mean, we all know Adore, and she’s acting like Pearl’s the best thing since glitter.”

“I know Adore too, better than either of you,” Courtney snapped, ready to go on the defensive.

The knowing smirk they exchanged went over Courtney’s head as Adore and Pearl walked over to them.

“Just look at them, acting like the best of friends,” Laganja whispered right before the pair sat down. “Hey, Adore, did you finish the homework?” she asked innocently.

Courtney stayed silent as she watched Adore and Pearl.

“Yeah, I copied from Jinkx,” Adore said stiffly. It was no secret how much Adore disliked Courtney’s cheerleading friends, or as she liked to refer to Gia and Laganja, “Team Too Much.” She turned to murmur something to Pearl, who brushed Adore’s hair off of her shoulder, causing her cheeks to turn red.

Laganja looked at Courtney pointedly, one eyebrow raised. A hot jealousy started to burn in Courtney’s chest as she watched the two interact, but she refused to acknowledge it as anything more than fear of losing her best friend to a girl who had only been around for a day.

Courtney picked at her food, watching Adore and Pearl over by the lockers, chatting. Pearl had a hand on Adore’s arm, and Adore’s eyes sparkled as they talked, heads close together.

Bob shoved Roy slightly. “You could learn a thing or two from that new girl. Less than a week and Adore is ready to pack a suitcase full of her Indigo Girls CDs and move in with her. That’s game.”

Roy punched Bob on the arm, muttering, “Shut the fuck up!” under his breath.

Courtney frowned. “Bob, you’re such a little gossip. Why are you always starting rumors?”

“It’s not a rumor.” Bob said, confused. “She still hasn’t told you? It’s been like a year.”

Roy punched him again.

“Stop punching me, fuckface!” Bob punched him back.

“Hasn’t told me what?” Courtney asked quietly.

“Adore’s gay, Courtney. She came out to her family like, almost a year ago. Her mom told my mom last year.”

Courtney stared at Bob in stunned silence, heart pounding in her ears.

#rpdr fanfiction #adore delano #courtney act #adorney #bianca del rio #pearl liaison #violet chachki #bob the drag queen #bitney #viadore #adore x pearl #angst #fluff #lesbian au #high school au #tree house kisses #scorpio #veronica

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flightfoot · 4 years

Text

The Poly Love Interests: Luka and Kagami in “Hold Me By Both Hands”.

Setting up Luka’s and Kagami’s relationships with Adrien and Marinette is a particularly tricky task; unlike with most of the other major characters in Hold Me By Both Hands, they were introduced in season 2, which means that they first appeared well AFTER @angelofthequeers diverged the story from canon. Because of this, there’s no scaffolding already in-place for them when the story begins. For Alya and Nino, for instance, it’s possible to just take their pre-existing relationship in canon (since they got together in season 1) and all the relationships they already had with other characters, and just drop them into the story. Same with Adrien, Marinette, and Chloe. All of them have firmly established backgrounds and relationships with the other characters before the fic starts.

The one exception to that is Lila, since TECHNICALLY the fic diverges at the start of Volpina, rather than actually at the start of season 2. However, Lila’s role doesn’t require as much relationship building – she’s an antagonist, and not a very well-developed one in canon. She just kinda has to do antagonistic things and have some sort of goal, and that’s sufficient. Plus, she’s fairly easy to slip into the story without crowding it. As an antagonist, she provides conflict for the protagonists to overcome, spurring the plot and character development. She just has a fundamentally different role from most of the other characters, one that has a very low threshold for needing character establishment and development, while also providing her ample screentime in order to develop her, without crowding other characters out.

Kagami and Luka are different. As Love Interests (and ones that move onto full-on relationships at that) they have a far higher threshold for character establishment and development. They need to not just be useful plot devices, as antagonists can be, used to spur on other characters and the plot, but be major characters in their own rights. Furthermore, with the romance angle (and with Miraculous Ladybug already revolving around the relationships of its two leads), in order to put them anywhere remotely close to equal footing with the Love Square in relationship development, they need a LOT of screentime and development – a difficult task, especially when taking into account how many OTHER subplots are going on in the fic already, and just the sheer length of it.

As it was, Angel kinda ended up taking shortcuts with developing Kagami and Luka and establishing their initial relationships with the other characters, so that they could get to establishing the poly relationship between the four of them, which DID get a lot of development. Understandable (I’m a fic writer too, I’ve definitely glazed over parts of the story I’m not as interested in to get to the parts that I really want to write) but it did hurt the establishment of the poly relationship some.

Kagami was first introduced during (or rather after, since Angel skipped to the aftermath rather than showing the episode itself) Riposte, which appears to have gone roughly like it did in canon. Nothing too notable there.

Shortly afterwards – I’m guessing a few days, maybe weeks later, it’s within the same chapter so it can’t have been TOO long – Kagami and Adrien sneak away from their assigned lesson with their fencing teacher (since he’s sick and forgot to cancel).

This is Kagami’s first on-screen appearance in the fic that serves to establish her personality and relationship with Adrien.

One of the first things that Angel hints at, in the first page she’s on-screen, is how isolated Kagami normally is – even more than Adrien in some ways.

“Because he’d get in trouble every time I snuck away if he didn’t,” Adrien says. “And…I think he knows this is the only freedom I get. He’s always been on my side.”

“Oh,” Kagami says softly. “That must be nice.”

Adrien frowns at her. “You don’t have a bodyguard? What about your driver?”

“We don’t have a driver. Our car is self-driving and responds to Mother’s voice, since she can’t drive herself.”

“Huh.” Adrien takes a moment to thank the heavens for Gorilla. God knows what he’d do if he was stuck with a self-driving car that wouldn’t be programmed with a shred of compassion. “Come on! While he’s not looking!” (Chapter 21)

This was a good way to quickly establish that Kagami’s isolated in somewhat similar ways to how ADRIEN’S isolated. There’s not much detail here – not a whole lot of info on her relationship with her mother or whether she’s had friends before, for instance – but most people reading the fic aren’t flying completely blind, and DO already know that Kagami’s really isolated, and at least canonically, does not currently have any other friends, and likely never did (though Angel does make it so that Kagami has had friends before; but that comes up way later).

But just having Kagami say softly how nice it must be to have a bodyguard – an adult – on his side, who allows him some freedom – it conveys that she’s in a similar situation, but WITHOUT that little bit of support and human contact, as small as it is.

It also emphasizes Adrien’s situation a bit, with the emphasis on the “shred of compassion” – because Gorilla’s the only adult regularly in his life (besides Fu in this fic, I guess, though even he’s not too present on that front) to SHOW him compassion – his father certainly doesn’t, not without some sort of ulterior motive, and Nathalie… Nathalie’s iffy. Gorilla will actually stick his neck out for Adrien. Nathalie, not so much.

Kagami lets out a giggle as Adrien grabs her hand and bolts down the street, weaving between the bustling Parisians who are thankfully so wrapped up in their own lives that they don’t notice who he is. Wow. Is that the first time Kagami’s laughed? It’s so…weird being able to empathise with someone, to actually know what it’s like to be in their situation rather than just sympathising from afar. And she’s so…radiant when she laughs like that, just like when Marinette laughs. (Chapter 21)

That whole exchange up above gave Adrien a nice ‘hook’ with which to relate to Kagami, to deepen their bond more than a typical friendship, to give their relationship a special sort of dynamic, even so soon after having met. It’s not enough to really develop it on its own, but shows how it might develop later.

Adrien also has an initial, fairly superficial attraction to Kagami here – which makes sense, he seemed to have some in Riposte as well. The boy has a type.

I say it’s superficial because well, he doesn’t know her well at all yet, so it’s nothing deep right now – but it could grow to be deeper later.

Though the bit about how radiant her laughter is makes me wonder – because by this point Chat’s realized that he loves Marinette and he thinks about her in the same sort of terms as he’s thinking about Kagami now, but- how long did it take for him to consciously realize that?

Is he just better attuned to recognizing his own romantic feelings towards others now, so he can better recognize that he’s feeling similarly towards Kagami, and he just gets crushes super quickly? …Okay knowing canon that actually seems likely. Took the boy like, fifteen minutes to confess his love for Marinette in Oblivio after all.

It’s definitely still just a mild crush at this stage though – he empathizes with Kagami and likes what he’s seen of her, but there’s been no big ‘Wham’ moment like with Ladybug or even Marinette, and there hasn’t been time for his feelings to slowly grow as he sees more of her and gets to know her.

Adrien has at least been very perceptive when it comes to Kagami’s family situation, with being able to recognize how similar Kagami’s earlier sentiment in Riposte was to his own feelings regarding his father, a finding that he quickly shares with Kagami, though without explicitly mentioning his father.

“Interesting? This is just a normal day!” Adrien says. “At least you’ve only got the crushing weight of parental expectations without getting mobbed on the streets!”

“That’s…true. Is it that obvious that my mother’s like that?”

“Considering your speech to me before you were akumatised? Kinda, yeah.” (Chapter 21)

It appears that the episode REALLY went pretty much identically to in canon. I looked up the transcript for the episode on the ML wiki, and I believe that this is the line Angel is referencing;

Adrien: (Momentarily stunned by her appearance.) Let's do a... decisive match? (As he speaks, he notices Kagami's ring.) Kagami: What's the point? You won. There's no such thing as a second chance in my family. Goodbye. (She gets into her car, which drives off.)

This is very much a familiar feeling to Adrien, a familiar sentiment which makes it easy to see why he took Kagami’s line earlier in the chapter about his bodyguard the way he did, correctly identifying that she doesn’t really have a compassionate adult looking out for her and giving her any slack, further deepening his identification with her.

My first time reading this exchange between Adrien and Kagami, with Adrien referencing the speech Kagami made in Riposte, I hadn’t actually remembered that line though, as it’d been awhile since I’d watched that episode. I remembered the general sentiment, but not the actual wording, so while I still had the idea of what Angel was going for, it didn’t land quite as well. I didn’t feel like pausing reading the chapter and looking up the transcript at the time I was first reading it, especially since I understood the gist of the exchange well enough. That being said, it would probably have been helpful to have that line repeated in some way within the fic itself, both because people like myself may not have remembered exactly the exchange Adrien’s talking about, and because Angel’s fic rewrites season 2 and 3 episodes anyway. There was no guarantee that Riposte went exactly as it did in canon, word-for-word, and the only reason the reader knows that it DID occur that exactly, is that Adrien’s reference here to Kagami’s speech before she was akumatized makes no sense otherwise. The reader is obviously supposed to know what he’s talking about, and the only way we could know that is if it was the same as canon.

Adrien’s fans spot him and chase after him and Kagami, prompting Luka to interfere.

“It’s him! It’s Adrien!” The speaker is one of the people down at the edge of the Seine, who’s looking right at Adrien and Kagami as he speaks. Adrien’s about to start planning a slow, painful demise for this arse, but the guy looks up over his shoulder and adds, “He just doubled back!” (Chapter 21)

Side note: still find it hilarious that Adrien’s first impression of Luka is that he’s an arse, even if it’s immediately proven wrong.

“Thank you,” Kagami says to the boy when Adrien says nothing.

“Y-Yeah. Thanks,” Adrien adds shakily. “I know I should be used to it, but it’s still terrifying.”

The boy snickers behind his hand. Adrien idly notes that his nails are painted deep black and his dark hair is dip-dyed teal and that Gabriel would have an aneurysm if Adrien ever painted his nails and dyed his hair like that. He’s the antithesis of everything that Gabriel holds dear. Dear lord, this boy is just perfect. (Chapter 21)

Luka made one HELL of a first impression, and with Adrien’s background especially, it makes sense why he reacted the way he did. Adrien seems to romantically attracted to people standing up for others, especially against some larger, more intimidating opponent – I suspect because they’re modeling the sort of behavior that Adrien WISHES he could do with his father. Combine that with Luka looking like the sort of person Gabriel would hate, and well – it’s no wonder that Adrien gets a huge crush on Luka immediately, far more quickly and obviously than he does with Kagami. Funnily enough, the way he crushes on Luka here is reminiscent of the way he started crushing on Ladybug, while his crush on Kagami is more similar to his crush on Marinette – before she saved him from that akuma anyway and he fully, consciously realized he was head-over-heels for her.

Also, Luka’s pretty.

And then Luka plays a heart song for Adrien, and he falls for him even more.

The boy snorts. His teal eyes, alight with amusement, draw Adrien in like a magnet, scrambling his brain and leaving his mind momentarily blank. “That’s okay. You’re just socially awkward.” He strums a note on his guitar, something both off and yet perfect, something that punches Adrien in the chest and leaves him momentarily fumbling for breath.

“H-How did you do that?” Adrien finally forces out when he’s able to speak. The boy smiles.

“I can hear people’s heart songs,” he says. “Yours sounds delightfully perfect but if you stop to listen to it, there are little flaws.” The boy strums a few more notes that are both the same and yet so different to what he’d played before, in a way that Adrien can’t even begin to articulate. “Small imperfections. Ones that you wouldn’t see on the surface.” (Chapter 21)

Considering how often Adrien’s placed on a pedestal, seen as “perfect”, but not as a person? This is really important. Even Marinette’s fallen into that trap before.

But Luka can see it right away… and also because his sister’s Juleka and she talks about Adrien sometimes, so that helps. Luka’s observant, not psychic.

Being seen for who he is, as a person, with imperfections and flaws? Being told that it’s okay to mess up a little, it’s fine? That he’s just socially awkward, but not making it out like Adrien is bad or has done something wrong or disappointing? That’s just so DIFFERENT from the sort of thing Adrien would experience with his father, driving further home that Luka’s the antithesis of Gabriel – and causing Adrien’s heart to flutter even harder.

And Luka considers Adrien to be a friend immediately, something that Adrien just adores.

“Thanks again for saving our butts,” Adrien says to Luka.

“My pleasure. Any friend of Juleka’s is a friend of mine.”

Warmth pools in Adrien’s gut. “Friends? Really?”

“Of course, if you want,” Luka smiles. “And I promise I’ll never ask you to have my babies.” (Chapter 21)

Adrien LOVES his friends, he cares for them a lot, and he treasures any new addition. To have someone just come up and say “of course I’ll be your friend, I already consider you a friend, if you’re down for that?” He hasn’t had that kind of experience since Nino befriended him. Combine that with Luka saving his butt and really seeming to see him, even just the first time he’s met Adrien in-person? Not too surprising that Luka ends up being his bi awakening.

“Glad to see that you’re so responsible about it,” Luka says as he punches his number into Adrien’s phone. Adrien does the same with Luka’s phone and although he’s tempted to add Kagami’s number too, there’s no point in risking the wrath of Tomoe Tsurugi; it had been enough of a battle to get himself added to Kagami’s phone, and Tomoe wholeheartedly approves of him. “Your future wife will be lucky to have you.”

“Or husband,” Adrien blurts out. Why did he say that? It’s not like he’s ever really shown an interest in boys before, and he’s in love with Marinette…but the way Luka isn’t even fazed by that and instead just smiles is making Adrien question a lot of things about himself right now. (Chapter 21)

Something else to note here; while Kagami technically meets Luka here as well, she has very little actual interaction with him during this sequence. The only interactions she has with Luka directly are when she thanks Luka for saving her and Adrien:

“Thank you,” Kagami says to the boy when Adrien says nothing. (Chapter 21)

Which Luka doesn’t actually respond to directly, instead responding to Adrien’s “thanks”.

And here, where Kagami introduces herself:

“I’m not surprised,” Luka says. “She’s pretty quiet until you push a guitar into her hands. And you are?”

Kagami immediately straightens and bows slightly. “Kagami Tsurugi,” she says, shaking his hand. “I’m a friend of Adrien’s, though I don’t attend Françoise Dupont.” (Chapter 21)

Kagami and Luka technically met here, but there’s no development in their relationship – they were just introduced so they each know the other exists. The whole conversation that unfolds, with Adrien as the focal point, makes sense and is realistic, but while it provides a good foundation for Adrien and Luka becoming friends – and later something more – it doesn’t provide that same foundation for Lukagami. Which helps explain why Angel doesn’t actually GO the Lukagami route, despite it seeming like an obvious path, with the later poly relationship.

Next chapter and Adrien’s made plans to meet up with Luka.

“I’m sorry, Adrien. I know how much you were looking forward to it.”

“Yeah, well…I’d better go practice. Maybe if I’m up to his standards, he’ll let me come near the end. Better than nothing, right? And I was really looking forward to seeing Luka.”

“Luka? Who?”

“Juleka’s brother.” (Chapter 21)

Just generally nice to see that Adrien’s kept in contact with Luka, and has been trying to foster their friendship. Interesting departure from canon as well, where Marinette met Luka before Adrien did.

Speaking of which, Marinette goes down below to get Luka, since everyone’s waiting on him. It goes pretty similarly to how it did in canon.

She jumps again when she realises that he’s opened his eyes and is staring straight at her with a smile. His eyes are the same shade of blue as his mother’s, also matching the teal tips of his black hair, and he’s wearing ripped black jeans and a short-sleeved blue jacket over a white Jagged Stone shirt.

Holy crap. He’s gorgeous.

“Hey!” Marinette blurts out. “My name’s Mama – Ma-Ma-Marinette!” Oh god, she’s stammering again. Why is this her life? She takes a deep breath to compose herself and pushes on. “Your mum sent me down here. The groove – ah, the group’s waiting for you.” (Chapter 21)

She immediately finds him physically attractive, which – fair, like I said before, he’s definitely pretty. Nothing deep, it’s just an immediate “Crap, he’s cute” reaction.

The whole scene is copied from Captain Hardrock exactly, until this exchange, after the scene in canon had ended:

“Did I really –? Oh no! At least Adrien wasn’t here to see that. He’d never let me live it down, the dork.”

“Adrien?” Luka tilts his head. “You know him?”

“Yeah, he’s one of my best friends. You’re the guy who saved him from being mobbed, right?”

Luka nods. “He wasn’t ready for a child just yet.”

“Uh…what?”

“An inside joke. One of his fans was screaming for him to have her babies.”

Marinette shudders. “Ick. I can’t believe I used to be like that.”

“That’s not the impression I get.” Luka plays a few oxymoronic notes, somehow both chaotic and gentle. “You have a passionate heart. You just struggle with your chaotic brain. You’re not the kind of person to behave like that.”

“Seriously, how do you do that?” Marinette complains as blood rushes to pool in her cheeks and stomach.

“Just like I told Adrien, I can hear people’s heart songs,” Luka says. Whoa. Seriously? That’s…how is that possible? “And just like I told Adrien, I talk to Juleka. You’re a funny girl, Marinette.” (Chapter 22)

The little joke that Luka threw in there was funny, without seeming out-of-character, since he’d tried a joke with Marinette just before this – but accidentally made fun of her stutter and made her feel bad, which he didn’t intend.

I’m glad he talked to Juleka about Marinette, because otherwise it would seem that he was either psychic, or just making blind assertions without having a clue what he was talking about, regarding what Marinette was like around Adrien.

Marinette’s immediate attraction to Luka here seems pretty superficial in contrast to Adrien’s attraction to him – the bulk of it seems to have come from his physical attractiveness and him playing some really nice music on the guitar, from his looks and skills, rather than him as a person at this point. This is mostly an indictment of canon’s treatment of Lukanette rather than Angel’s handling of it however, since half of the scene is lifted directly from Captain Hardrock. Angel’s expansion of the scene at least adds a little more dialogue, a little more chance for Marinette to get to know him as a person, than canon did. It just seems like a fairly shallow attraction in contrast to how Angel handled Adrien’s attraction to Luka.

Lukanette fans probably wouldn’t mind much, since this was enough to get them to ship it in-show, but it doesn’t really give non-Lukanette fans much reason to start shipping it.

A few chapters later, and Marinette’s struggling with the realization that she’s in love with both Chat Noir AND Luka.

The problem is Luka Couffaine. Specifically, how Marinette’s insides flutter and tingle whenever she’s around him. Which totally isn’t fair. Aren’t you supposed to be in love with one person and be with them and only them?

To be fair, Marinette isn’t actually with Chat Noir. And yeah, there’s plenty of infidelity in the world, when someone decides that another person is hot and yes please, I’ll have some of that.

But that’s the problem here. It’s not just that Luka’s attractive. It’s that smile of his that’s so soft, like he’s reading your very soul when he looks at you. It’s how he looks so at peace when he’s sitting there, strumming on his guitar before Kitty Section’s rehearsals (that Marinette has definitely attended only because she’s friends with Rose and Juleka and Ivan, thank you very much). It’s how he never has a harsh word about Juleka, even when he’s doing his brotherly duty and teasing her, and how she immediately looks to him every time she’s starting to stress, such as when her guitar string had snapped and one of Ivan’s drumsticks had fallen overboard. (Chapter 25)

Problem is, this still doesn’t sound like an attraction that’s based on a lot of substance. It still largely seems to be based on Luka looking pretty and being talented at playing the guitar. Him being kind to Juleka is nice, and an actual sign of who he is as a person, but it’s still not a lot – and none of this is based with actual interactions with him, just observing him.

It feels a lot like Marinette’s attraction to Adrien earlier in fact – but without Marinette becoming as obsessive, and without knowing Luka as well as she knew Adrien, even back then. So to see her calling it “love” and equating it with her feelings for Chat Noir, which grew out of friendship and lots of time spent being with each other, interacting with each other – it feels out of place. Especially since it’s repeatedly been hammered home how Marinette’s initial attraction to Adrien slipped into being more superficial at times, and occasionally thought of him as more of a pedestal or an object. That’s part of why she’s refusing to acknowledge that she’s still in love with him after all – she wants to make sure she sees him as a friend and person first.

But with Marinette being attracted to Luka’s looks, his talents, and then what little she’s observed of his interactions with Juleka (which doesn’t seem to have been all that much at this point, she just hasn’t had much time to get to know him)? Without getting to know him as a person through interaction more, but mostly through some light observation? It feels like Adrien Crush 2.0, but more superficial. There doesn’t seem to have been much basis for a close friendship so far, much less actual love.

Adrien and Kagami arrive on the Couffaine’s houseboat soon afterwards, causing Marinette and Kagami to meet again for the first time since Riposte.

An awkward silence falls on the boat as everyone sneaks looks at Kagami, who just stares right back evenly. It’s understandable, since she’s a newcomer and none of them know her, but in Marinette’s case, it also just might have something to do with how she’d panicked and ruled in Adrien’s favour back at fencing tryouts. Does Kagami hate her for it? Or had Adrien talked to her about it?

“Um – hi!” Marinette decides that she might as well take the first step. “I’m Marinette!”

“Adrien’s friend, right?” Kagami says coolly. Marinette’s cheeks flush, although she can’t decide whether it’s because Kagami most definitely dislikes her or because the way this cute girl is narrowing her eyes at Marinette is doing something to Marinette’s insides. Something that she most definitely doesn’t want to think about right now. (Chapter 25)

Much as with Luka, Marinette’s attraction here is quick and superficial at the moment. She hasn’t recognized it as attraction just yet however, especially since she’s ALREADY caught up in freaking out about loving Chat Noir and Luka at the same time.

Being the only other person on the houseboat who doesn’t play an instrument, Kagami seems to naturally gravitate towards where Marinette is sitting cross-legged near the cockpit, safely away from the side of the boat, sketchbook once again open. As Kagami sits next to her, Marinette offers her a small smile and Kagami hesitantly smiles back. Then Marinette’s eyes are inevitably drawn to Luka, who’s just strummed a sweet chord, and he catches her gaze and winks at her, and she’s forced to stare down at her notebook so that she doesn’t spontaneously combust on the spot.

No. No. This can’t be happening. Marinette has a crush on Chat Noir. That’s clear as day. So, why must her insides flutter and tingle at the way Luka smiles and winks, charming and mellow with no effort or annoying flair at all?

To be fair, Marinette isn’t actually with Chat Noir. And yeah, there’s plenty of infidelity in the world, when someone decides that another person is hot and yes please, I’ll have some of that. But Marinette can’t love two people at once. That’s rubbish, and it’s needlessly complicated, and Chat Noir was here first, so he’s her first choice, especially since she’d only met Luka the other day. (Chapter 25)

Again, attention is drawn to how she’s attracted to Luka’s “smiles and winks”, and along with the reference with infidelity, with deciding another person is hot – another more superficial quality - and that they want to have some of that, it just doesn’t seem like Marinette’s crush on Luka is based on really knowing him as a person.

Kagami and Marinette have a conversation, where Marinette talks about her difficulties with her crushes on Luka and Chat Noir, and her confusion about what to do about them. I don’t want to recount the whole conversation since it’s fairly long, but… they’re really able to sit down and talk about what love is, along with Kagami introducing Marinette to the concept of polyamory.

It feels like Kagami and Marinette are talking as people and friends first, rather than as potential love interests, getting to know what the other person’s like and their perspective on the world, in a way that wasn’t there for Lukanette. Kagami gave some of her (exclusive to this fic) background, for instance.

“Your astonishment is cute,” Kagami laughs. “It’s called polyamory. A girl I had a crush on back in Japan told me that she was polyamorous. She said that so long as you’re completely open with your partners, there’s no reason why multiple relationships can’t work.”

“A girl? You’re gay?”

“I rarely develop romantic feelings but when I do, their gender doesn’t matter. And I’m asexual. But my mother doesn’t know, because I’m not sure whether her reaction would be positive or negative. And it will stay that way.”

“Of course!” Marinette hastens to say. “I wouldn’t dream of telling her. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me. But, uh…asexual? I don’t know anything.”

“Of course not, if you haven’t had any reason to suspect that you’re not straight,” Kagami says. “I’ve only known for a year or so, after I realised that I liked Rin, but I didn’t want to do anything physical with her. The thought of it…didn’t repulse me, but it didn’t excite or interest me either. I wasn’t drawn to her in that way at all. That’s when I realised that I was asexual, and I’m not attracted to anyone in that way.” (Chapter 25)

Even just this snippet is a lot deeper than Marinette’s attraction to Luka. It gives a lot more depth to Kagami, letting her tell her on story, making her feel like a character with agency and her own thoughts and feelings. Luka… doesn’t really have that. He mostly seems to exist for other characters, without having much in the way of desires or history of his own. It fits with his portrayal in canon thus far – he’s woefully underdeveloped – but leaves him feeling like more of a receptacle for the other characters thoughts and feelings, than an actual person.

With Adrien, Luka seems to have more agency and act more like a character in his own right, but not so much when it comes to Marinette.

Speaking of Adrien, he has his OWN dilemma to struggle through.

Just like Marinette, Luka Couffaine’s creative soul shines brighter than the sun. Just like Marinette, Luka makes Adrien’s insides tingle and burn with as little as a smile. And yet, with as many similarities as he shares with Marinette, Luka is also nothing like her. Where Marinette is a hurricane, forceful and mesmerising and drawing people into her tempest of passion, Luka is a tsunami, appearing perfectly serene and soft on the surface with that stormy soul underneath, until it’s too late to realise that you’re about to be swallowed. And Adrien hadn’t realised until now, until there was no chance of escape. Not only this, but after their adventure that had resulted in meeting Luka, Kagami’s also starting to creep up on him like a thunderstorm, visible and foreboding on the horizon but not quite close enough to warrant action. At least, not until it’s too late to act, just like Luka’s tsunami but almost deadlier since she’s not yet registering in his brain as anything more than one of his closest friends underneath all the carefully deliberate suppression. (Chapter 25)

Adrien waxes lyrical more, which honestly I am DOWN for. Boy’s a hopeless romantic. It’s more cryptic than Marinette’s realization of feelings earlier, but since his feelings and perspective on Luka and Kagami have been developed more, that’s fine. He can be a little more oblique about his feelings.

The comparison to Marinette is interesting, though I don’t totally agree with it. It took ages for Adrien to realize he liked Marinette, while he realized his feelings for Ladybug, for instance, right away. If anything his feelings for Luka are like his feelings for Ladybug were, while his feelings for Kagami are like his feelings for Marinette, with how she’s slowly creeping up in his heart. I can see why he compared his immediate, massive attraction to his feelings towards Marinette though, since he DOES have that level of massive romantic attraction towards her NOW, even if it wasn’t so apparent initially.

Oh, and as if Adrien needs MORE reason to crush on Luka, when they talk about how Gabriel’s trying to keep Adrien away from his friends, he makes THIS declaration:

“I appreciate the offer,” Adrien says. “But elbow-dropping my father will probably make him lock me up again.”

“Then we’ll find Ladybug and Chat Noir and stage a grand rescue,” Luka says. If it wasn’t for the fact that Luka’s vow had pretty much set Adrien’s insides on fire, Adrien might have been more concerned about the fact that Chat Noir can’t really stage a grand rescue of himself. (Chapter 25)

Adrien just LOVES someone caring about him that much, standing up for him, defying his father, and making grand gestures in general. Adrien being this deeply attracted to Luka is no surprise.

Several chapters pass without Luka or Kagami making an appearance. Next time one of them shows up, Ladybug’s giving Kagami a Miraculous.

They have a long, in-depth conversation, which again I don’t want to repeat all of, because well, it’s long. But there’s some good give-and-take and here, with both of them airing their insecurities and giving support to each other.

“You’re autistic?” Ladybug gasps. “So am I!”

“What?” Kagami’s head whips around to stare at Ladybug. “You – but you’re –”

“An awkward mess outside the mask,” Ladybug says and squeezes Kagami’s arm. “I mix my words up all the time. I melt down and flip out whenever I’m really stressed or losing control of the situation. I have to plan out what I’m going to say before I talk to people about important stuff, otherwise I turn into a blabbering mess. I have to bounce or fidget or do anything to stim because I can’t sit still. I’m clumsy. I’m obsessed with fas – uh, my special interests. I can never seem to be where I should be because I just can’t manage myself, even before I became Ladybug.”

“Oh.” Kagami tilts her head and ever so slowly reaches out to pat Ladybug on the shoulder stiffly. “You get it. I have to script my conversations as well. And…well, I don’t have meltdowns and I’m very organised, but…mostly because Mother would be extremely disappointed in me.” (Chapter 34)

It’s a nice reversal of their earlier conversation, with Marinette (or rather Ladybug) providing support and advice mostly, instead of Kagami doing so – but still having it be a conversation with a lot of give-and-take. But this is a subject that MARINETTE’S more confident and knowledgeable about, while KAGAMI’S insecure about it, which is a reversal from their positions when talking about polyamory earlier. It’s just a really good conversation in general! It still feels a little rushed with how deeply Kagami is supposed to be ingrained into their friend group when she’s only had a handful of appearances on-screen, but the few times she HAS appeared, she’s made an impression on Marinette at least, so it doesn’t feel nearly as rushed as it could have.

I have a continuity nitpick here though; back in chapter 25, Kagami talked about Rin, a girl she had a crush on, and what she told her about polyamory. But in this chapter, she talks about how she’s never had friends before.

“It’s just…” Kagami sighs and looks away. “I’ve never had friends before. I don’t know what’s appropriate and when it’s appropriate. If I make a wrong move, how do I know I won’t lose them? Unlike fencing, I don’t get to come back for a rematch. And unlike fencing…I don’t know how to navigate this.” (Chapter 34)

Did she not consider Rin a friend? She talks about Rin some more later, and it looks like she DOES consider Rin a friend, even though she didn’t get to spend as much time with her as she’d like.

My bigger issue with this chapter is that Ladybug never gives Kagami the “test” that she gives Alya and Chloe, with saying that she has to give the Miraculous back. She knows Alya better than she knows Kagami; if she’s going to conduct that test on Alya to check that she’s willing to give it back, then it seems unfair not to do the same with Kagami, like she either feels like she knows and trusts Alya a lot less than she knows or trusts Kagami, or that her crush on Kagami (which she hasn’t full acknowledged yet) is blinding her, which… okay, granted, that is kinda a thing with Marinette. It’s not acknowledged by the narrative that way though, as far as I can recall, so it comes off as an oversight.

A few chapters later, and Marinette starts realizing that she has feelings for BOTH Kagami and Luka, and confesses she has feelings for other people to Adrien – who thankfully understands, since he’s been feeling the same way.

“I’ve, uh…got the same problem. I’ve got a major crush on Luka. And, um…Kagami. And it’s getting to me, because I’m pretty sure I’m polyamorous and Tikki says that it’s perfectly normal and it doesn’t mean I like you any less, but I’ve been freaking out because what if you don’t approve, especially of Luka and Kagami, and I don’t want to break up with you or make you choose or anything, but I also don’t want you to think I’ll go and cheat and –”

“Marinette!” Adrien wraps his arms around her from behind and squeezes. “Oh my god. I can’t believe you like Luka and Kagami.”

“Is that a problem? I mean, I chose you first, so I’ll always –”

“Mari.” Adrien presses a kiss to the back of her head, and Marinette shivers and melts against him. “No. It’s not a problem. It’s just hilarious because, well…Luka was the other person I liked when I brought it up on our date. And I think I’ve been falling for Kagami too, for a while now.” (Chapter 39)

They both have known this for awhile, that they’ve liked more people – they just haven’t admitted it. Not surprised that Adrien was more transparent about who he liked here – he’s always worn his feelings on his sleeve, he isn’t known for being cagey about them.

They talk a bit about it, and decide that while they’re good with the general IDEA of being in a polyamorous relationship with Luka and Kagami, Adrien isn’t ready quite yet – especially since he’d have to stand up to Gabriel to do that.

Luka and Chat actually end up talking next chapter, with Chat seeking advice about polyamory… and it turns out that not only is Luka cool with the idea, he likes Chat and Marinette too… and he knows Chat is Adrien, and that he’s down with dating both of them if Adrien and Marinette would like that.

Also this happened:

Luka digs his nails into Chat Noir’s hand, then takes his hand away entirely and gracefully climbs to his feet. Chat Noir can’t help but flush when Luka holds out a hand to help him up, like he’s a damsel or something, but where other boys less secure in their masculinity might have felt degraded, it just makes him feel so loved and cared for. (Chapter 40)

So sue me, I was SOFT for this. This is why I actually sorta ship Lukadrien, despite not being a major fan of Luka personally; dammit I like someone being soft and gentle with Adrien. It’s why I like Ladrien, actually. Because seriously, the boy needs to be loved and cared for.

Marinette ends up confessing to Kagami later about wanting a polyamorous relationship, which Kagami is ALSO down for… so long as Marinette’s talked things out with the other people she wants to be involved with the relationship first, that is.

The four of them eventually talk things out some more, hashing out boundaries with their relationship. There’s this part here that nagged at me though;

“I’ve made my feelings clear as well,” Luka says. “I’d love to date both you and Adrien. But I understand if the relationship between you two takes priority –”

“Whoa, whoa, no,” Adrien says. “There’s no priority. You’re all equally important to me.”

“What he said,” Marinette says. “Adrien’s not more important just because I was with him first. We’re not gonna just shove you and Kagami aside when things get rough, Luka. That’s why we wanna be sure we’ve figured this out before we go jumping in.” (Chapter 41)

This is a good and healthy attitude to take when it comes to a polyamorous relationship, and one that I think is essential for making it work, but – well, this is where some of the general lack of development between all of them becomes a bit of an issue. Because while this is a good illustration of how to make a polyamorous relationship work – it doesn’t feel earned. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Lukanette. They like each other, but – they haven’t really been shown to TALK much, to really connect with each other, especially with any give-and-take. Though Lukadrien has that trouble a bit too – Luka provides support to Adrien, but it doesn’t really seem like Adrien can really engage Luka totally as an equal either. It feels like Luka’s more of a plot device for Adrien and Marinette, than a character in his own right.

Admittedly though, that’s a canon problem – that’s pretty much been Luka’s role to date. But it does make the whole “you’re equally important” thing feel unearned.

Kagaminette has probably the solidest foundation of the added poly relationships, with the give-and-take between Marinette and Kagami, the deep conversations, and the additional opportunities they’ve had to be around each other in different contexts, with Marinette picking Kagami to be Ryuuko. It still doesn’t have enough development to really make this feel totally right though, with the sheer amount of development the Love Square relationship has had by comparison.

Adrigami is in kind of a weird place here. It had a fairly solid starting foundation, and Adrien has at least clearly hung out with Kagami a lot, but they haven’t really talked or done that much together on-screen, so it seems like more of a background relationship than anything. Intellectually it makes sense with how they relate to each other and the amount of time they get to spend together, but since we don’t see that much of it, it feels like more of an informed relationship than anything else, where we’re told about them being super close, but don’t really get to see it happen as much.

Honestly, that was my biggest issue with this whole subplot regarding the polyamorous relationships; it felt like Luka and Kagami were being elevated to the same status as Adrien and Marinette, regarding their places in each other’s lives, without enough development of those relationships on-screen to truly earn that place.

#miraculous ladybug #hold me by both hands #fanfic analysis #my analysis #luka couffaine #kagami tsurugi #meta

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