#so when it does show up in c3
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Doing the math, the Apogee Solstices occur every 120 years. Theatrically, the next Solstice would occur on 840 PD.
However, we don’t know how long the Calamity lasted. So it is very possible that after Age of Arcanum, the year count did not immediately start at zero. (P.D does stand for Post-Divergence after all.)
So it is very possible that in year 843, during the adventures of Bell’s Hells, we will witness the next Apogee Solstice.
#critical role#cr spoilers#exucalamity#exuspoilers#exu: calamity spoilers#exu calamity#exu#it is very possible that this is a reason that we are seeing these events#to have context for this solstice#so when it does show up in c3#we will have a connecting point that could not previously be understood#most of this information will never be known within the boundaries of c3#so it’s a fantastic way to explain without breaking continuity
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In the course of a couple of conversations I think I have hit on some of the fandom weirdness this campaign, and it's notable because I realized it when it was my answer to both a question about why the fandom response to "Party of NPCs" was pretty negative at the time but I don't think it would be now; and someone pointing out to me how there was a sudden massive spike of enthusiasm for Ashton and Fearne as a ship without a particularly large corresponding boost in any sort of fan works.
I suspect that many of the people who came to C3 as their first CR campaign came through the avenue of shipping; either because Shadowgast and Beauyasha both broke containment to some extent; because of TLOVM (which as a scripted TV show where they know the relationships and how they shake out, there can be foreshadowing), or because of the influxes of people shipping Imogen and Laudna circa May and September 2022. This is in contrast to Campaigns 1 and 2, where a lot of the fanbase came via D&D fandom, fantasy fandom, voice acting fandom, and more general word of mouth. This time, people showed up to ship; of that segment of the fandom, shipping is a major if not the primary way in which they interact with fiction.
Here's the truth: this is a terrible campaign for shipping, and indeed, one of the worst shows for shipping I've seen in a while. This, to be clear, is not a critique of quality. It's merely an observation that this is a terrible campaign for shipping specifically, but a great one for many of the myriad other reasons why one might watch long-form actual play. It's plot-heavy, with a pretty intricate network of laid groundwork over eight years of storytelling, two past campaigns, and two miniseries finally paying off. It's been heavy on showing the unexplored corners of the world in Marquet, rural Issylra and the Shattered Teeth. It's taken risks with the typical D&D campaign structure and with party composition and splits, to varying degrees of success. It's allowed a revisiting of beloved NPCs and locations from the past. It's the lore campaign! It's extremely not the shipping campaign.
I think most people have picked up on that by now, even if it's only subconsciously, and so those who watch with the express intent of shipping, are grasping at the most tenuous of straws because that's pretty much what they have. Two canon ships and one noncanon but hinted-towards ship are with guest characters who are not present and so are necessarily very quiet. Chetney and Fearne is a lot of fun but it does not fit the usual shipping-above-all preferences of monogamous love to marriage/partnership to babies, plus Chetney is weird and old. (This has always been an issue with this mentality, incidentally; for all I think the popularity of Shadowgast is why some of these people are here, the fact of the matter is that many of the people who like Shadowgast like a completely foreign to canon concept operating under that name that erases the frequent long-distant nature and the almost certain lack of children and the deliberate choice to end the relationship amicably due to different needs.) However you may feel about Imogen and Laudna it is incontrovertible that there's been little to no movement in what is now a calendar quarter. And so: two people doing something that is not explicitly romantic while two other characters say "emperor and empress" is a paltry, miniscule - and I hate to use the word but no other will do - crumb; but it is a crumb to a starving populace.
In case my feelings aren't abundantly clear...I say let them eat cake. I enjoy ships and shipping! I enjoy seeing characters recognize themselves through the other and develop over time as they fall in love with another character; I enjoy seeing a deep romance unfold slowly so that I can savor it. But this campaign just doesn't really have that, and that's never been the most significant reason I watch, let alone the main one. I'd rather have no romantic relationships in a work than rushed ones that strain credibility or lack chemistry, and those who do want romance can either find other shows, or focus on transformative work. For those who came to Campaign 3 on the basis of rumors of the great romances in Campaigns 1 or 2, those are still there for you! And while I think we're too far in for a campaign-length romance, there are plenty of ways for the existing ships to become something more interesting. But I think this explains a lot of the weirder patterns in the fandom conversation as of late.
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Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 3
♡ Summary: Carmy actually has allowed himself FRIENDS?? Also- he gets to have like.. a normal day with Syd somewhat, outside of work, hanging out with people who aren't in any way involved w/ the restaurant.
♡ W/C: 6,919
♡ Posted Date: 04/08/2024
♡ A/N: Hayo ;D Here is C3 of Blue Lotus!!! I am v much like Carmy & got a alot of amusement AND enjoyment writing this chapter, so that makes my brain tell me I took it too OOC & I haaate writing these 2 OOC. So if its OOC I'm sorry, but at least it's funny LOL. The story Shayna tells is lightly based on Euphoria But the college version - so if you've seen it that's why it feels a little familiar - if you haven't seen it its a same vibe except high school so the father is much, much more disgusting. But I looove writing Shayna so much, I have friends like her & they are always the personalities to make you laugh until youre sore the next day - & Syd & Carmy deserves a friend like that so I gave them one! Without further ado, I hope you enjoy <3 As per usual this fic is inspired by Tucson that can be read here It was written by my lovely friend @gingergofastboatsmojito please be sure to read that one before you read Blue Lotus, also do give Ginger a follow!!!
♡ Warnings for BTC: Talks of ; a near physical assault, blood, sex, transphobia/outing, self inflicted wounds, actually contains; smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking alcohol, vomiting, swearing
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡
“Hey! Im Sydney- sure! We were uh…we were gonna cook- do you wanna join? I just got back from the store” she got up, shaking her hand.
“Totally - my god this necklace! Where did you get it?” Shayna asked, leaning in and looking at the pendant “and you smell so good, lavender?” She said.
“I thrifted it! I love thrifting. Carm does too- does it so much he has to keep extra jeans in his oven.. oh! And yeah this perfume it’s inside. I’ll show it to you” Syd replied happily.
“Your oven?” Jesse asked Carm
“Yeah uh.. not enough space- um Syd these are my…” he trails off
“Friends. Were his friends- therapy friends I guess. I mean I hope he holds his word and texts me when we get out of here” Shayna nudged Carm’s shoulder gently.
He cleared his throat “yeah- uh-my friends. Shayna and Jesse.” He said shyly.
“Well it’s nice to meet you guys, have you ever had deer? They sell it at the grocery store here, harder to get in Chicago. I figured we’d try this recipe I thought up a while ago” she opened the door to the cabin and Jesse and Shana went inside making themselves at home right away.
This wasn’t the first time they’d hung out, they would do this a few times a week before dinner and then sit and eat together before going back to their respective cabins for the night.
“Never had deer before - aren’t you guys like super chefs or-“ Jesse is interrupted by Shayna’s whining
“Carmen you still haven’t asked for a wifi box?!” She asked annoyed, putting her phone back in the pocket of her cargo jeans.
“No I haven’t because I don’t need one I’m not addicted to Instagram or whatever the fuck” Carmy said, taking the door for Syd and she headed in, him following suit.
“Oh yeah I forgot Carmy the little old man who likes to hide away from the online world- you look like you take fire Instagram pictures, how do you deal with that loser all the time?” She asked Syd jokingly, leaning against the counter and watching as she pulled various ingredients from the fridge.
Syd laughed a bit, a big smile on her face as she moved around looking through various cabinets. “I do…um- Chef-“ she said and he sat up from where he was leaning against the kitchen doorframe
“Where do you need me?” He asked her
“Onions medium dice if you can manage the knives here suck” she took out one of the small knives they kept for him in the drawer and set it on the cutting board as she began to pick the rosemary, putting the sprigs in a bowl.
“What the fuck is that” Shayna picked up a mortar with a deep black goop at the bottom.
“Juniper berries…found a juniper tree when I was hanging outside. Made sure it’s the right kind so don’t be worried” Syd said and Carmen couldn’t help the small smile that curled his lips.
“You found a juniper, and you just.. remembered this recipe?” Carmen asked, chopping the onions as skillfully as if he hadn’t been out of the kitchen a single day.
“Thats hot” Shayna says “you’re hot as hell bitch! Oh my god! You just saw a tree and were like ‘let me make up this super cute berry deer coquette dish’ ” she said, causing Syd, her, and Jesse to crack up, but Carmen was lost.
“The fuck is a coquette?” He asked, causing Syd to laugh harder when Shayna said between giggles
“I told you! He’s so old!!!” She squeaked, leaning against the counter and wiping tears from the corners of her eyes.
“Coquette is like… Marina and the Diamonds on Vinyl, pink bow, fairy princess, Sydney in the woods picking juniper berries aesthetic it’s like..a vibe.” Shayna explained.
“Oh my god- it’s a girl thing carm it’s like. I dunno- like pink frilly shit and like- Lacy shit?” Jesse tried to explain.
Carm raised his brows, scraping the now cut onions into a bowl. “So Syd picking berries what does that have to do with- what did you say- pink bows?” Carm questioned and Shayna rolls her eyes.
“It’s the vibe Carmen, the vibe. Ugh you are no fun I can already tell Sydney is the fun one. What music do you listen to?” Shayna sat up next to Syd on the counter as she dusted the board with flour and started to cut the meat into chunks.
“I listen to…well- a lot. My mom loved R&B so I still listen to that but mostly 90s stuff that makes me think of her, I love SZA, HER, Jhené Aiko, oh Kali Uchis! Khelani of course… frank ocean is so fire I really like his stuff too..yeah just a lot of stuff.” She explained.
Carm sat there digesting every word she said, it wasn’t unusual for him to do that. He tried tucking the unfamiliar names in the back of his mind so he could look them up or ask Shayna what she knew about them later.
“Oh my god- we have to chill sometime!! Do you smoke?” Shay asked hopefully and Syd looked at Carm for a moment before her eyes flickered back to Shayna.
“I do. But…not when I’m working. Because it fucks up my taste and smell..but I am on vacation so…” she said with a small shrug and a smile.
“Dude! Oh my god Jesse cmon I need to go back to my cabin” she got down off the counter “I’ll be right back” she said and they headed out being sure to close the door behind them.
“They’re fucking?” Syd asked and Carmen laughed a bit
“No- no. Where’d you get that?” He asked, beginning to peel the carrots over the garbage can.
“Why did he go with her? Aren’t the cabins all right here?” She asked.
Carmen looked up at her for a moment “oh- yeah. They are. Shay has somethin about being alone. Somethin about her childhood- she came here because she said it’s like…the good version of where her dad sent her. Whatever that means. But she can’t be out and about alone it freaks her out. I guess she went to some… wilderness camp? She went on about it in one of our sessions. They were…they were fucked up.” He said, putting the now peeled carrot down on the cutting board and starting on the next.
“Shit.” She said, putting the cast iron on the burner, starting the flame with the lighter that she’d found on the counter. “Like…so they left her in the middle of nowhere or something?” She asked and Carmy shrugged.
“Kinda like that. She said that they like…would hike all day. And then at night they’d have to pitch their own tents. They took their shoes at night so they wouldn’t try and run. They’d like- send pictures back to their family- and if they didn’t smile they’d get in trouble. Pretty fuckin…sadistic shit t’do to a kid. Dunno how her dad thought it would change her ways - she said she went because their views on religion didn’t align…” he explained
“Wow…” she said, after a long beat of silence “she’s like..I wouldn’t have expected her to be so friendly after that. I wouldn’t be” she said, salting down the meat.
“Yeah Shayna is…a character. For sure. But she’s really sweet, and has a huge heart even though she loves to bitch people out. She’d cut someone if they tried to fuck with me, though. One of the newcomers showed me that” he chuckled, shaking his head a bit.
“What happened?” She asked
“So we were at lunch, and before that day we just..sat at the same table but didn’t really talk. She talked, but I would mostly listen. And um, this new dude. Justin? I think? Total fuckhead. Guys a tank too, like fuckin’ 6’2? No joke. But uh he was like basically screaming at his table, talkin’ so fuckin’ loud, so I looked over- and he met my eyes and just went off hes like ‘you got a problem little man? What the fuck is up with you, you got a staring problem?’ And Shayna- you should have seen her!” He laughs at the memory.
“What’d she do?” Syd asks curiously.
“Oh, she picked up her mashed potatoes- like - a fist full of mashed potatoes Syd- bare handed- and screeeamed at him ‘YOU WANNA FUCK WITH HIM COCKSUCKER?! WHY DON’T YOU COME FUCK WITH A BITCH THAT CAN ACTUALLY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE, SCAREDY MOTHERFUCKER!’ then whipped it at the dude. It hit him right in the face- eeeeveryone was dying we were all cracking the fuck up. I haven't seen him again after that, thankfully, but then she just looked at me and asked me for my plastic knife so she could get the potatoes from under those huge nails she wears and went to wash her hands like nothing happened.” He explained.
Syd laughs and Carm follows suit. “Wow. Well I guess I shouldn’t worry about you after all- you found a temporary big sister, you should keep her around. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who would pelt another in the face with mashed potatoes for me” she snorts a laugh, setting the meat in the pan.
“I would. Without a shadow of a doubt, when Marcus was yelling at you I wanted to fuckin knock him out with a pan-“ he stopped himself and she looked over at him, the only sound now filling the room being the sizzling of venison on cast iron and the tick of the wall clock.
She blinked a few times, unsure what to say before the memory of the drawing came back to her.
Just say it now. Why else would he want to hit one of his employees with a pan if not for feelings he hasn’t made me aware of?
She’d thought to herself.
But Carmen on the other hand was thanking god that Shayna and Jesse came back, boisterous as ever-
“Pookiesss We come bearing gifts” Shayna drops a bag on the table, as well as a pink speaker that was playing some Spanish music Carmen hadn’t ever heard before.
“You listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd asks as she turns around.
“YOU Listen to bad bunny?” Jesse asks and Syd smiles big
“Who doesn’t listen to Bad Bunny?” Syd laughed “he’s like- literally I think the most listened to Spotify artist or something? Top 3?!”
“Who is bad bunny?” Carmen asks as he cut the carrots into matchsticks.
“You need to train your dogs better, Sydney” Shayna teased, taking shooters of grey goose out of her tote bag and putting them in the freezer.
Syd laughs so hard she snorts, covering up her mouth with her hand and shaking her head. “You are fucking insane” she said
Carmen smiled big, looking over at Syd. “Chef, did you just snort?” He teased smugly and set his knife down, leaning against the counter next to her, smirking.
“I did- because your friend thinks you’re my bitch” she teased, turning back to the meat and flipping each cube carefully with the metal tongs that were next to her on the counter.
Carmen’s mouth drops and his cheeks go scarlett, Shayna snorts a laugh, sitting at the table casually, legs crossed as she picked the stems and seeds off buds of weed, while Jesse howls with laughter. “Fuuuck-“ he shakes his head with amusement “wow. I uh…” he snorts a laugh “I get you Carmen. Get you better now” he said.
“Okay- fuck you shayna” Carmen shook his head, unable to contain his smile. He’d never heard Syd laugh so hard before and witnessing it made him feel on fire.
“Sorry I can tell who wears the pants it’s a natural talent of mine” she shrugged, “Jess come do this” she slid the little container of picked apart buds over to the spot next to her and he sits next to her at the table.
“So you guys aren’t..like you’ve not known eachother before this?” Syd asks them.
“Oh! No we did actually. Jess and I met at this program when we were 14, restart. It was a pure chance though that we come here at the same time.” She said and got up, washing her hands in the kitchen sink of the sticky resin.
“That’s so cool - where are you from?” Syd asked her as she takes the bowl of onions from next to Carm at the island, their hands brushing for a moment which caused Carmen to nearly cut himself because his focus was completely lost at her touch.
“Were from LA. Aren’t you from Chicago? Why are you here? I mean- like it’s great you’re great I’m glad to have a sane member of society around, it’s refreshing when you’re only around only psychos, you know? But uh..” she laughed a bit when Syd got started “you must be…pretty close friends” she looked at Carm for a moment before looking back at her.
Carmen suddenly felt something akin to anger sitting low in his chest. And it had to do with Shayna. He likes Shayna, so he wasn’t sure what was going on. But, Jesse saw the switch in Carmen- and read it right away as jealousy.
“Uh…” Syd clears her throat nervously, suddenly not knowing what to say.
“Like what is it? Jess? We went to restart in Wisconsin so Chicago? How far is that?” She asks.
Jesse gave her the cut it out eyes, but Shayna hadn’t been able to play matchmaker in weeks, she was gonna push these two together the same way she made her Barbie’s kiss when she was a kid.
“I’ll guess like - 1800 miles. Soooo- oh! And don’t you have that restaurant?” She asked and Syd nods.
“Mmhmm we run it together. It’s fine though it’s being held down, I finally got my new Sous trained and his sister is working a lot lately she wants to get everything all together before she has her baby so…” she rambled on, trying to pull out any reason that made it sound like she was unneeded there - even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Right. I’m gonna go smoke would you like to come? I’m sure your…” she looks back at Carmen for a moment before looking back at Sydney “partner can hold this down until we get back?” She asked and looked at Carmen again, raising her brows.
“Yeah- yeah Syd go. Go ahead go relax - got this chef.” He nods and went over to the stove, squeezing past her in the tight space, his hand brushing her waist momentarily as he did so.
“Okay- okay sure” Syd nodded, following Shayna outside. She walked quietly for a few moments, lighting the joint and taking a drag before handing it over to Syd.
They were about 30 feet from the house, Syd was taking a deep drag of the joint - savoring the taste since she couldn’t do it often, when Shayna said
“You need to fuck eachothers brains out so he can go the fuck home. That- or tell him it’ll never happen so he can stay here for however long it takes him to break down and move on”
Sydney choked on the smoke in her throat, quickly handing the burning joint back to Shayna and coughing into her arm.
Shayna laughs before taking another drag, patting Sydney’s back sympathetically. “Sorry- people have told me I’m too blunt but I’d rather hear the truth so I give it to people straight” she said simply.
“Dude! What if he heard you! Shhh!” Sydney said once she caught her breath.
“Oh please! No! He didn’t! And if he did- he’d be leaned halfway out the door trying to hear the answer because he’s dying to know! You know he has the hots for you- please- don’t play stupid, girl” She rolled her eyes, handing the joint back over.
“What - no- he’s- we’re business partners” Syd replied, shaking her head and taking a short drag. “He doesn’t. He’s just sick and clinging to me he’s - he’s depressed and I’m violating HIPAA or whatever by saying that but it’s honest! I’m not his type” She passed it back over to Shayna.
She took it, laughing at her HIPAA comment “Chefs aren’t bound to HIPAA regulations, but nonetheless- I’ll be honest for you, since you can’t be honest with yourself. You flew here because you want to fuck him. There’s no other explanation- no not even just fuck- you love the guy. Why else would you fly across the country to be with him? Especially when he’s due home in 11 days. No dick is that great, especially attached to a guy on that many psych meds.” She said and took a long drag.
Sydney’s heart began racing 100 miles an hour. She stopped walking, leaning against the fence, feeling like all the air had been knocked out of her lungs. She imagined this is how Carmy felt when Stardust threw him off.
“Are you- what in the Hozier Adele ass fuck. You didn’t know? Or - realize- the L word? That you love him?” Shayna said, taking another drag of the joint.
Sydney stared at the forest ahead, resting her hand on her forehead, shaking her head. “Fuck. Fuck. Oh fuck.” She swallowed hard. “Um-uh I- I feel sick? I feel- I’m gonna throw up.” Syd said, standing up and quickly walking over to the large oak tree at the end of the rows of cabins, hurling up the remainders of her lunch which was just a McDonald’s burger she’d gotten on her way back from the grocery store.
“Jesus Christ. It’s you too? What are you waiting for?” Shay followed after her, rubbing her back gently
“What do you mean-“ She’s interrupted by a gag she couldn’t hold back. “Fuck. What do you mean what’s me too?” She asked, coughing and spitting the bile taste in her mouth on the ground before leaning against the tree to catch her breath.
“Like- you and him both don’t even realize you’re in love. It’s weird as fuck. It’s usually one person chasing - but you guys are secretly chasing eachother? But also at the same time trying I dunno. One of you has to make a move though” she said, leaning on the tree next to Syd.
“What if he’s just sick? What if he’s clinging to me because he’s sick and…and I’m like manipulating him” she asked nervously
“Ahh yes because you are manipulating a grown man into not breathing when he sees you? You can do that? Can you teach me? Except I’ll use it to kill creeps” she nudged Syds shoulder, finally earning a smile back out of her.
“He doesn’t do that…” she looked at the ground sheepishly
“When we get back, I’m gonna count out loud because the oblivious fuck hears no one when you’re around, and watch he won’t be breathing. I swear it’s like the first thing I noticed looks like a fuckin fish out of water.” She said and finished the joint, stomping it out with her shoe. “Shall we put my experiment to the test?” She asks and Syd rolls her eyes.
“I wanna see what’s going on with the food let’s go” she smiled a bit, heading back with Shayna to the cabin.
It only took them 4 minutes back, Shayna walks in first and Carm’s head pops up from his conversation with Jesse at the counter, and as soon as Syd pops in behind her- Shayna quietly starts whispering “one…two…three…four..-OW!” She squeaks as Syd kicks her ankle just enough to hurt.
That was enough to break Carm out of his trance “hey- hey- how was your walk, y’okay? You look…I dunno” he came up to her, feeling Syds cheek with the back of his hand “y’flushed…” he said and she pulled away from his touch, feeling embarrassed.
“I’m fine” she said, walking back to the stove and making sure the meat was okay. “What did you do with the beef stock?” She asked, looking over the counter.
Carmy swallowed thickly “uh- sorry, sorry. Here” he went to where he put it in the cabinet and handed it to her. “We…we good?” he asked quietly.
“We’re good. Get the juniper berries please.” She said without meeting his gaze and opened the stock, pouring some in the pan.
Shayna giggles and Carm looks back at where she and Jesse were sat at the table, Jesse making a circle with his thumb and forefinger and thrusting his other finger in and out of it, alluding to their sexual tension lacing the room.
���Oh you are children.” Carmen grumbles, grabbing a beer from the fridge and rolling his eyes “want one- dipshit? Cabin check is tomorrow they all need to be gone” he said and Jesse nodded with a smug smile.
“You love your crazy camp besties pookie!!! Don’t play games cause your cool chef friend is around” Shayna said, getting up and going to the freezer, taking out 2 shots.
“Syd?” She asked and Sydney turns around, looking at the shots in her hand.
“Uh- why not. Sure. Just one” she said, taking one of them and cracking it open.
“Cheers” Shayna says, clinking her shooter with Syds
“To?” Syd asked.
“New beginnings” Shayna said simply before tilting her head back and swallowing the shot in one gulp.
“That was the best fucking food I’ve ever eaten. Have you guys ever been told you should open a restaurant?” Jesse teased, helping Carmen clear the empty dishes from table.
“Wow you really should pursue stand up, Jess” Carmy said with a small smile, collecting the 4 disposable cups they used for wine and throwing them away.
“You know who would fuckin love her Carm?” Syd motions to Shayna
“Who?” He mused, rolling up his sleeves and starting the hot water on the sink.
“Richie. They’d be menaces together but they’d be best friends!” Syd laughs a bit and Carmen gasps
“Richie!!! Yes! They would- but- Oh my god how is he? I literally- fuck. I’m so shitty I haven’t even really…like been thinkin about everyone back home other then like you and I- I guess sugar” Carmen said.
Jesse and Shayna gave eachother a ‘we’ll discuss this romcom fuckshow later’ look, before giggling amongst themselves.
“He’s- he’s Richie. He’s never gonna let me stabbing him go. Every time I tell him to do something he’s like ‘right away chef wouldn’t wanna get stabbed’ - he’s scaring the new hires, carm!” She giggled in the way that made his heart flutter like butterflies were smacking it with their wings. “And he keeps calling me cousin by mistake!! It’s getting ..really weird” she shook her head, sitting down at the table.
“You stabbed a motherfucker?” Shayna asked impressed.
Carmen laughed a bit “on accident” he told her
“Doesn’t mean it didn’t feel good he was grating my last nerve that day. But I mean…he’s okay so I’m not that bad for thinking it” she smiled and Carmen laughed, scrubbing the plates with the sponge.
“I would have stabbed this motherfucker but I just did one better and made everyone afraid to fuck with me. Everyone thinks this was a result of my attempt but it’s not.” Shayna showed off a long scar on her forearm, partially covered by a large dragon tattoo.
“You did that to yourself?” Syd asked, slightly impressed but mostly a little scared, her finger gently rubbing up the raised scar.
“Mmhmm. In college. I went to this party, this guy-“ she shook her head with a small, mischievous smile. “So he comes in the kitchen, he’s acting like a fucking bull so of course I’m staring at the weirdo, right? He looks at me- and he goes what the fuck are you looking at, bitch. And I was new, so I didn’t know it was his house. So I was like I’m looking at some meathead loosing his temper like a toddler, what the fuck are you looking at. And he just asks me who I am- and…” she sits back “I didn’t know anyone? Like…I went there to meet people. So I was like oh I’m Shayna and he just starts screaming ‘who the fuck is Shayna, does anyone at this party know a fucking Shayna?’ And he was like in my face. So I told him I was like I’m not trying to start anything here I’m minding my business back up and he goes ‘no one that looks like you is minding their own business’ and then he- he told me he knew what I was.” She said and shrugged.
“ And that I just wanted attention. And that he would give me the attention I was looking for. And then? He told everyone in the kitchen that someone better speak for me or he was gonna fuck me up.- so, I grabbed a knife from the counter, and he backed up like a pussy and was like ‘I’m kidding! I’m kidding it’s a joke I’m fucking with you!’ And I asked him if he wanted to hurt me, and he kept saying no - even though I knew he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me, probably worse. So I slit my arm, and bled on him. Then I left. And no one ever tried to out me there again.” She said and sipped her beer.
“You’re gay?” Sydney asked curiously.
“Yeah but that’s- Jesus Christ these Chicagoans” she said, and her and Jesse started laughing.
“What? What’s funny?” Syd sat up.
“she’s-“ Carmen starts
“AHT!” Shayna tisks “no, Carmen, we got to make fun of you for a month now we get to make fun of her until she figures it out. I think you’re smarter though, socially speaking” She said and Carmen gives her the finger, causing her to laugh.
“Oh- ohhhh! Wow! I wonder how he thought he could tell” Syd said and Carmen looks back at her.
“Really?! How did you figure it out so fast?!” He asked her
Syd laughs “oh because it’s the 2020’s and if someone says they were outed and it’s not about being gay, there’s only one other thing to out” she said and Carm huffs, annoyed with his own pitfalls of refusing to make friends his first 30 years.
“Yeah how would he know? I didn’t know” Carm asked her and she smiled big, looking at Jesse.
“It was fucked. Up. What you did. But if you wanna tell them? Gooo ahead.” He said with a smile, drying the dishes as Carm washed and rinsed them.
Shayna laughs excitedly, sitting up and pushing her long blonde hair back. “Okay, so. I end up finding out who this guy is, right? And apparently…his dad who was the football coach was like- DL- into trans girls- “ Carm interrupts
“What does that mean?” He asked her
“DL? Down low, like- they fuck us in private” she explained and Carmen scrunched his brows in confusion
“Why?” He asked and Shayna looked at him confused.
“Because…they think it’s gay?” She said like it was obvious, but to Carmen, it wasn’t.
“But… Y’re a girl. So how would it be gay?” He asked
“I’ll give you a ‘how humans interact with eachother’ lesson later, Carmen, for now it’s story time” she teased.
“Anyway-“ she continued “so I find this out, because I look up his name on Facebook - see his dad tagged, and I fly to Grindr- because I swore I literally saw him there. Turns out I had. So I send him a chat, we hit it off, I go fuck him-“ she said, Syd starts laughing, Carm turns around with wide jaw eyes and a dropped jaw.
“Like- oh I fuuuuucked that man. Multiple times. He didn’t fuck me- let me say that again for your cis ears to have it sink in, I fucked- this man’s father” she said - Carmen’s jaw drops further, and Jesse was howling with laughter at Syd and Carmys shocked expressions.
“No- no- Shayna- hold on I need a cigarette - Jesse take this shit over” Carmen pulls open the front door, pushing up the glass on the screen door, grabbed his beer and cigarettes from the counter, and sat next to Syd at the table. “Okay keep goin- I’ve never heard this much-“ he shook his head in amusement
“Tea? I know- it gets better!” Shayna laughs.
Carmen smirked, shaking his head and taking out a cigarette lighting it between his lips and taking a drag. “So you fucked this man’s dad.” Carmen couldn’t help but laugh at how insane the words sounded coming from his mouth- and Sydney followed suit, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut, Carmen’s heart quickened at the adorable sight, having the urge to reach out and grab her soft, delicate hand that was just a few inches from his own on the tabletop.
“Oh my god- were taking them with us back to chicago- I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this” Syd said, stealing his beer from next to him and taking a sip.
The action made Carmen’s heart skip a beat. The fact that she was comfortable drinking out of something his lips had already touched, it drove him wild. They had tried food off of the same spoon at work just so they didn’t have to go through the hassle of washing two, but this felt…different. More intimate.
“Did you- I’m sorry- did you want one?” He asked “I didn’t think you liked beer - I thought you said you like wine more” he said and she shook her head.
“We can share…right?” She asked, a bit shyly. She wasn’t sure what made her do it, maybe it was because her white claw had been long forgotten and now was luke warm on the kitchen counter, or maybe it was the few extra shots she’d been convinced into taking earlier that was causing her to take the chat with Shayna to heart.
“Yeah- course, always.” He nodded a bit. Unnoticed by Syd and Carmy, Jesse and Shayna give eachother another ‘we’re gonna talk about this romcom shit later’ look before Shayna clears her throat.
“So- yes Carmen, I fucked this man’s father. And multiple times. He was married- I didn’t fully know that though before you both look at me shitty- he didn’t say that -“ Jesse cuts her off
“Ohhhh- oh! No!!” He laughs “no- the real story- is that she saw a ring but didn’t ask about it - you may now continue” he said, turning back to the sink and rinsing the last of the dishes.
Carm snorts a laugh “evil. That is evil the man’s marriage! Shayna!” He took a drag of his cigarette and she rolled her eyes.
“It was already on the rocks- let me finish! You fucks! So then- I recorded it, and I held onto it- just in case. But. Get this- one of my girlfriends on campus? Guess who she ran into on Grindr?” She asks and Carm and Syd both lean in slightly, and Shayna can’t help but notice the way they were already so in sync.
“The fucking guy from the party” she said and Syd gasps, Carmen cracks up.
“He’s his fathers spitting image. Thats it. That’s why- that’s why he said that to you. He knows about you or whatever? Because he loves girls like you and is also a pussy.” Syd said and Carm hums in agreement.
“Exactly! Exactly. So…I had her tell him to meet her in the park- but…” she smirks and Sydney covers her mouth preemptively, knowing whatever was going to say next was going to be off the wall.
“I was there too- fucking his dad! And oops! he saw us! And I asked him if we should check and see who’s bigger- he dropped out of school the same week- and the dad resigned” she said and took another casual sip of her beer with a proud smirk.
Carmen sits there, dumbfounded, looking to Sydney who when she saw the look on his face cracked up. “Your face-“ she said, causing him to start laughing as well.
“Shay-“ he looks at her, wiping tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. “Shayna what the fuck” he managed to get out before laughing again, shaking his head. “You are a person that I won’t ever, ever get on your shit list if I can help it” he said, looking over quickly when Syd coughs from laughing so hard
“Woah- arms up, arms up” he tells her and goes to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and coming back quickly, opening the cap and handing it to her. She took a large sip.
“Thank you- sorry- fuck you Shayna you’re gonna kill us both I don’t think I’ve ever heard him laugh this hard” she said and Shayna smiled
“Well, that’s a good thing. this guys got a problem with having the dead inside look- at least before you got here” she nudged Carm with her elbow.
He realized he was still stood, hand protectively on the back of Syds chair looking down at her as if she was the only one in the room.
“Isn’t that why we’re all here?” Jesse countered, sitting in the empty chair next to Shayna
“I’m very alive inside- I just get too manic and start destroying my life because it’s something to do” she said and finished off her beer. “I’m already on probation cmon I need to go to my cabin and you aren’t allowed to have fun without me” she told Jesse, standing up and grabbing her bag and speaker. “Nice to meet you, Sydney. And Remember our chat hot stuff” she said as she put her bag on her shoulder.
“Yeah- we’ll probably run into each other again, I leave Sunday night.” She said, and Carmen’s heart soars.
He wasn’t sure why, he just thought maybe she’d just fly in for one night to see how he was and then leave the next day, but the fact she was staying a whole other day and a half- and they would be alone.
“Sick! Okay well we’ll link up tomorrow then, have a goodnight guys - and remember wrap it before you tap it, shortstack!” Shayna said as her and Jesse shut the door behind them and head off.
Carmen blushed pink, shaking his head. “She’s a hack, but she’s a very nice hack” Carm said, rubbing over his face embarrassedly.
“They’re super cool Carm. She’s..really fuckin out there but-“ she shrugged looking at the clock. “Oh- shit. Fuck- it is late, I don’t want you to get in trouble” she said, standing up and grabbing her coat off the back of her chair.
“You- you aren’t um…staying?” He asked and got up, grabbing her backpack she’d brought with her from the kitchen table and bringing it over.
“Oh well all of my- stuff..” she trailed off, eyes locked on his. They stayed there silent for a moment, and his heart started pounding in his chest so hard he could feel it in his stomach.
“Uh-“ he started and nervously bit the inside of his lip, he’d been doing that a lot tonight. He was holding his tongue, he always did around her. He didn’t understand it, because unless she was around it was like a part of his brain switched off, and he didn’t have access to speech in the same capacity as when she was near.
“I- so…I think um- I-“ he stops himself, grabbing his shoulder nervously and averting her gaze. His throat suddenly felt tight, this was it. He either said something, or he let her leave and he stayed up all night thinking about what he should have said when she leaves.
“Did you draw me?” Sydney asks suddenly.
Carmen feels his stomach doing flips, his palms got sweaty and all of the color drained from his face. “I-“ he crossed his arm over his chest, tightly gripping his hoodie. He suddenly felt as if he could be sick, “I’m sorry?” It came out sounding like a question.
Sydney felt insane “you- when-“ she smiled nervously “oh god- Jesus- I- it must be the-“
Carmen cut her off before she could say what would shut his entire course of action that he was trying to lay out down fully before he could attempt to put it into motion. “I meant- I meant I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. Syd. That’s how I meant it. I - you remind me of home.” He said, not breaking her gaze. “And I need a little bit of that, here.” He said softly.
Syd just nods, holding on to the chair for stability. She wasn’t sure if this conversation was really happening or if she was in some insane dream. She could hardly believe Carmen was expressing himself to her, in a way other then anger or fear.
“I..I draw you a lot.” He admits, running a nervous hand through his hair. “We do uh- art..art therapy. A few hours every day”
“Can I…see them? If…if that’s okay?” She questioned.
The color came back to Carmen’s face full force, he had to be sure whichever sketchbooks he would show her had none of the explicit themed drawings. “Uh- sure. Sure…gimme a sec- I’ll um” he headed to the bedroom, opening the desk drawer and grabbing the bigger sketchbook he usually took to art therapy, the safest one since the therapist would come and look at whatever the patients were working on.
He quickly flicked through it to make sure, before heading back out to the living room where Syd had sat on the couch when he went to retrieve the sketchbook. “I’m- sorry…sorry if this is like. Weird-“ he said, feeling suddenly Insecure about his hobby that was the reprieve that got him through any of the sleepless nights he had here.
“No- no its..it’s sweet Carm, can I?” She asked, grabbing the sketchbook in his lap, their hands brushing lightly. He felt that familiar fire in his chest, and nods with a hum of agreement.
She opened it, eyebrows raising in surprise “they aren’t like-“ he started
“This is incredible-“ she cut him off and leaned over him, turning on the lamp at his side to get a better look at the portrait he had committed to memory of her smiling. He nearly shivered when her curls brushed his cheek, the smell of the perfume on her neck mixed with the familiar scent of her causing goosebumps to appear over his flesh.
“I don’t know if I should be offended that you remember the gap in my teeth so well. Because I know for a fact you aren’t on Instagram” she said. He smiled, rolling his eyes slightly
“It’s one of your nicest qualities” he shrugged a bit.
“Oh one of them? Are there many?” She smiled, flipping the page.
“I think the question should be if you have any flaws” he said, and her eyes flicked back to his.
They were now sitting so close that their faces were less then a foot apart. “I think we both know that’s bullshit.” She said
“To you maybe” his eyes flickered to her lips momentarily.
“I always catch you doing that” she teased, smiling a bit.
“Doing what?” He asked, his eyes meeting hers again.
“I dunno…staring at me..like..” she looks at his lips for a long moment before meeting his gaze once again.
“Why do you think?” He asked quietly.
“There are alot of things I can’t seem to figure out about you…Carmy” she said just above a whisper.
“Well what do you want to know. I’m uh…trying to be more open.” He said equally as soft.
“Do you know why I really came here?” She asked
“Because you saw the fuckin drawing, somehow.” He smiled a bit.
“Yes” she chuckled “but- it just..it kinda confirmed something for me I dunno- I just wanted to come check if maybe-“
She’s interrupted by his lips on hers, she was surprised at first, but of course didn’t pull away. He cupped her cheek gently, his thumb rubbing over her supple skin.
The way their lips moved together was natural, like they’d done this already a thousand times in a hundred lives. His nose gently nudges hers and she wraps her fingers in his dirty blonde curls, tugging gently how she’d fantasized so many times.
He slid his tongue over her plump bottom lip, humming softly when she opened her mouth at the contact. His hands were nearly shaking. His entire body felt like it was exploding with tiny fireworks underneath his skin.
The air between them both felt as if it was crackling with electricity. As if the universe was humming in approval that they had finally accepted their bond.
Sydney had never felt anything so right. She felt as if every stress in her life evaporated, as if her and Carmy were the only 2 people in the world. She felt like she was glowing from the inside out.
“T’make sure I wanted t’do that…right?” He said softly when she pulled away.
➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙
#carmen berzatto#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#the bear fic#the bear hulu#carmen berzatto fanfiction#the bear#carmy berzatto fanfiction#the bear fanfiction#carmen berzatto fluff#sydcarmy fanfiction#sydcarmy fic#sydcarmy for life#syd x carmen#sydney x carmen#sydney x carmy#carmen x sydney#syd x carmy#carmy x sydney#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#the bear carmen#carmen berzatto the bear fanfiction#carmy berzatto smut#carmy the bear#carmy smut#sydcarmy fanfic#sydxcarmy fanfiction#sydxcarmy fic#Sydney x carmy fic
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also like. feel free to take this with a grain of salt bc i haven't seen c3, just going off what other people have told me, but thinking about fate again
and like. the raven queen being the keeper of fate.
and the fact that vax stepped in to save keyleth
because that's not something vax can just do
the raven queen, liam, matt, all of them have so far been taking vax's death seriously. he could visit only for a few minutes in dalen's closet bc scanlan burned his final wish spell to pull him across the planes. vax couldn't even step in when vex straight up drowned earlier in that episode bc no one was around who could save her, i'm sure he wanted to
but he goes where the raven queen allows. and she knew that vex's story would continue past that day
so here and now, yes i'm sure vax genuinely wanted to save keyleth, but in order for him to show up, that had to be what the raven queen wanted too. the raven queen who has at least an idea of how this is about to go down. yes, she doesn't know everything, and certain people can bend the threads of fate, but those are pockets of uncertainty in a much larger web of destiny that she does know, because it's her job to keep it in order
and playing a goddess of fate is such an interesting thing in a tabletop campaign, you sort of just have to roll with whatever the story gives you and act like you planned it all along
vax's job as the champion of the raven queen, when he was alive, was to act as her hand from beyond the divine gate, to defeat the enemies she could not, the people who threaten her very existence and the domain she protects
from what i've heard ludinus definitely qualifies
so for vax to be here now, i can only assume a major exception has been made, so he can take on that role once more
but that's the thing, about all our discussions on whether or not he's gonna be okay
that's something that, in the real world, is genuinely in flux, and something maybe even matt doesn't know. but in game? for something this monumental? the raven queen would. and in all likelihood, she would have known that he'd be trapped when she allowed him to be there at all
which is a pretty risky move, all things considered
so what we're really asking, is did she allow it because she knows everything's going to be okay in the end? or, in all her complicated calculations, was this a necessary sacrifice?
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People talk about Dean being prejudiced against monsters — and, well, he is. But he also basically grew up in a war zone and experienced his first act of terrorism at age 4, when his mom was killed in front of him. And then his dad conscripted him into guerrilla warfare to get revenge.
And I've seen people judge Dean so hard for having this prejudice (like it's proof that he's the scum of the earth), but that reaction is just puzzling to me. Cuz that's what violence DOES to just about everybody. It's really hard to get past this kind of basic hardwired stuff cuz your brain needs simple heuristics for survival reasons. If you get attacked by a panther & you can generalize "big cats = dangerous," you've got a massive leg up over someone who needs to get attacked by every species of big cat before concluding that they're all dangerous. And lessons that are drilled into your brain with fear & pain have serious sticking power.
I'm obviously not arguing that prejudice is fine. (I hope it goes without saying that prejudice is something we should all be trying to eradicate in ourselves.) I'm just saying we should be aware of how prejudice can be born of real suffering. Because it means we're all susceptible to it: to turning our pain into prejudice & letting our injuries become an excuse to lash out blindly. And it's too easy to let it happen if you tell yourself that this is something that only the worst people feel or do...
Here's one way we see it happen: You get hurt by Group B1, but you don't differentiate between subgroups of B, so you retaliate against all of B. B2 now sees themselves as victims of your unprovoked attack, and you're a member of C2, so they seek revenge against all of C. Or, they target C2 but C3 gets caught in the crossfire, and so on. So now you're a perpetrator of violence, stuck in a cycle of violence with no clear way out, and maybe you've even hurt B more than C was hurt to start with. But that doesn't mean you weren't a victim with a legitimate grievance originally.
This is why violence is a self-perpetuating cycle. You may think you're too smart to get caught up in something like that, but it's not about being smart. Intelligence can tell you that you were an injured party, but it can't (by itself) tell you what to do about it. Rather, breaking the cycle requires the courage to engage in honest self-reflection, the willingness to practice empathy, & the humility to admit you could be making a mistake.
Storytelling is one way we can begin to cultivate these traits in ourselves. Storytelling can help us to see things with enough distance to judge but enough closeness to empathize (and thereby understand our own vulnerability to making these kinds of mistakes).
For example, look at Dean. A demon kills his mom, and he kills everything that goes bump in the night. And the crazy thing is that Dean realizes he's got a prejudice against monsters really early on in the show. After seeing Lenore for what she really is in S2:E3, he grasps the implications of pacifist vamps right away and pretty much immediately calls out his own attitudes & past actions.
(Which, frankly, shows Dean to be a lot more openminded than folks usually want to give him credit for! When you're up against that kind of trauma-induced lifelong prejudice, it'd be easy to shrug it off with something like, "She's just one vamp. An aberration. It doesn't mean anything." Much, much easier than confronting the fact that you personally might've killed innocent people. Again, this is why it takes courage & humility to look truth in the eye.)
But the war is still raging. And, as we come to see, "knowing" something vs. truly internalizing it (letting it guide your behavior) are 2 separate things. And imagine how much worse, how much harder it must be to try to parse out prejudice from justified wariness when you're an active soldier on the battlefield, a battlefield with no clear lines. It should come as no surprise, then, that Dean flips out when Ruby pushes Sam to use his powers, either in S3 when this first solidifies his distrust & dislike of her (dislike that had been visibly softening after she saved his life in S3:E9, "Malleus Maleficarum," before her agenda on that front became clear) or in S4, when he comes back to find that she's succeeded in "converting" Sam.
And it's ironic that Dean's instincts about Ruby ultimately turn out to be right, given that they're backed by little more than prejudice. But that, too, is like real life: One of the hardest things about letting go of prejudice is the fact that even a broken clock is right twice a day. The beleaguered underdog — the persecuted minority — the victim of prejudice — is not always innocent. To look at this a different way: just because someone's prejudiced against you doesn't automatically make you "the good guy." Dean was wrong to be prejudiced against Ruby... but he also happened to be right.
It's possible for both sides to have grievances, and it's possible for both sides to have done wrong. Or, to say it another way: You've got to do good stuff to be the good guy. Just being an injured party? The other guy being bad? None of that makes you automatically good. None of that means you get to just totally throw critical thinking or self-reflection out the window. "They did X so now anything goes" is a race to the bottom just waiting to happen. Even when "X" is truly horrific, like burning a woman alive in front of her small child. Dean could've used that as an excuse to never stop killing. And if you can't make room for the duality of victimized & victimizer in a single party, it's hard to even begin to understand that as wrong.
So... yeah. Even though it would've been satisfying to see Dean's prejudice stymied by the S4 finale instead of seemingly validated, there's still a lot of value to be gleaned from analyzing the messages throughout the show (and season 4 in particular) about prejudice & its role in the cycle of violence; about what Dean knows (and doesn't know) vs. what he believes vs. how he acts; about the role his prejudice played in helping push Sam into Ruby's arms (which is something I would argue), etc.
#prejudice and self-perpetuating cycles of violence in supernatural#spn meta#understanding dean winchester#dean winchester#long post#finally posting this#spn
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Fuck... I'm an idiot, I think I got why so many people felt Orym's nod to Laudna over Bor'Dor so bad.
This is a long one...
See, Orym has been painted as the "good one" by the group, the moraly upstanding, let's say. "The dad friend," the fandom said. And he kinda is, compared to the rest, he has more internal rules, which tend to kindness, respect, etc., and the others clocked it (not saying the other's don't have their own morality, just that Orym seems to have more lines he will object to be crossed).
For a long time, his actions proved this side of him to the Bell's Hells, but what is more important, I think... they start relying on it! Many PCs had done that, from EXU, to C3, to even guest players, somebody said something in the lines of "I look at Orym, if Orym it's okay with it, then I'm good" (I think it was a guess star). The group relaxed over their own process of decision making because they started counting on Orym to call them out if they went too far!
The key thing is... Orym never asked for it! As a mom friend, let me tell you... it's frustrating as hell to have to "parent" people who are my age or older, I do it only because I love them, and I don't want them to die! And Orym showed us his frustration with them a long time ago!! Remember when they all were rising hands over who thought they would all try to kill each other? Remember how Orym just stand up and fucking left?! That's what you do when you are tired of trying to be the voice of reason in a group in which at least four of them are older than you and the other two are adults as well! Hell! Ashton noticed it!
Orym never asked for that position, no one ever does, you just fucking fell into it, and then you care too much for the idiots you call friends... even if you want to killed them yourself half of the time (that's me). In fact, Orym reaaaaly doesn't want to be any kind of leader, not even a "moral" one, but he keeps falling into Chaotic groups, sorry man!
Now, something else the group as a whole fails to realize in its full meaning is that Orym is a soldier in a mission. He has always been, and they know it, intellectually, but they failed to understand the implications of it. Fearne understands Orym, that's why she goes to him when she herself has doubts over Imogen, because she knows what Orym did with Dorian, so she knows Orym must be thinking some strategies just in case, and I'm not sure if she goes to him only because she is worried or also because she wants to show him her support, whatever it is... it's one of the best shows of not only that Fearne loves Orym, but that she actually understands him more than one could think. But Bell's Hells don't have the knowledge that Fearne does, they don't know how lethality serious Orym can get, how he will do things he hates because he things they must be done, they've seen glimpses, but Fearne saw it in all its cold steadfastness when Orym pulled his sword on Dorian, she knows, the rest are going to find out little by little.
So we have Orym trying, for a long time, to understand the enemy, what motivates the members of the Ruby Vanguard, trying to keep seeing them as people, not just "enemies." But he also recognized that he can not be impartial with them. We saw how he left another "should gods live or not" discussion because he is tired of it. Even if he thought (which he doesn't) that all the Gods should died he would not help the Ruby Vanguard, they will always be his enemies. He has been saying it is personal to him since his chat with Chetney. The philosophical conundrum, it's in the end, pointless to him, if he can stop the Ruby Vanguard he will, just for what they did to his people. And even with this as a known factor... he still tried to understand the members of the RV, they were people who have been hurt, even after they killed him, Fearne, and Laudna, Orym still tried to keep that openess of mind and heart.
Until Bor'Dor.
Bor'Dor attacking them after they offered him kindness and friendship, but even worse, I think... it was Bor'Dor attacking Prysm and Deni$e, who had nothing to do with Bell's Hells and their attack to the RV, just because they were there, and he wanted to hurt Ash, Laudna, and Orym. That proved to Orym once and for all that the RV were too dangerous, too cruel in the pursuit of their goals, simply put... they don't care how many innocent people they have to kill to reach their objective. At that moment, Orym went to war, at that moment he became completely the soldier he could be. At that moment, he thought, "He has to die".
And in the middle of this storm we have Laudna on her own, and she looks up, she looks at Orym, hopping he will maybe stop her, the friend that has always stop them from going too far, and she doesn't realize that what she sees is an aspect of her friend she hasn't fully met yet, and because she is used to rely on his instincts over this things... she lets herself go.
So later, when things get a bit calmer, it kinda feels like a betrayal, doesn't it? Why? Why does the friend who always stops us from doing stupid things didn't stop me?! WHY? And the answer is, because he couldn't stop himself.
He didn't betray Laudna, he fails her in the rol SHE had assigned HIM, now they will have to rework their friendship.
This moment weighs in the three of them, Ashton, too. It's obvious in the way he and Orym tell Laudna to take a moment for her. They are trying to help her now. Nothing changes what happened, though.
This is going to be interesting because it's clear that that aspect of Orym's personality, the cold soldier, is quite on the surface now. He is angry, really angry, angry enough that he might not have the strength to keep being the "dad friend", because he might be too focused on keeping himself at bay to be the person who helps the others to do that as well. Like I think he will keep trying to be there for his friends, but his own mental and emotional state makes him less reliable to what the group is used to.
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Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
From Zetsu
If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??
Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.
A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!
Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.
I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.
It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.
From Itachi
It was so good, thank you!
I appreciate the touch of color.
Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓
Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.
The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒
Define “too much” cake 🤔
He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.
I can take them in small doses.
From Sasori
Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.
You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.
I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.
If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.
I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.
Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.
You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.
Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.
You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.
From Kakuzu
I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.
Thank you, my dear.
Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.
Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.
Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.
Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.
I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.
Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.
If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.
From Deidara
I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛
Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!
We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣
We can both make birds. Paper and clay.
Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼♂️
My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!
Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁
I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.
He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.
From Kisame
There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.
My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.
Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?
No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.
I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.
Please join us for tea?
It’s outside your door. Thank you again.
Zetsu got to him first 😤
Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.
From Tobi
He bit me first!
Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔
He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!
Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?
I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓
Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!
Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌
Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?
No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago
From Hidan
Yeah but my intentions were good for once!
Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓
Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it
You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!
Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷♂️
We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!
Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍
I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤
Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy
I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!
From Nagato
The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️
Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.
Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!
Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂
Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.
Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞
No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉
What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?
If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.
My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!
I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what.
Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊
#konan#text message#texting#the akatsuki#nagakona#nagato x konan#Akatsuki Daily Texts Series#nagato uzumaki#deidara#sasori#kakuzu#hidan#zetsu#tobi#kisame hoshigaki#itachi uchiha
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Tell me about your servamp AUs... All of them...
GET THE FUCK OFF MY PORCH, NICCOLO, GET!!! GIT!!! SWATS AT YOU LIKE A FLY!!!
ok this is going to be a long list tho so buckle up:
Succubus Mahiru AU, inspired by @yarrayora 's bc i love it and would love to hear theirs. plz. I wanna hear about it so bad.
Kuro Has Too Many Exes AU, where the usual "Mahiru drags home a human!kuro" and gets into a situationship that turns into a relationship with him and he meets all of kuro's exes (the other servamps, gear, germaine) and helps him deal with all of that.
The Game (i havent figured out a cool name for this au yet) AU where there is this huge reality tv show that doubles as a romance/job hunting thing where people or companies will hunt someone of their choosing for either romance or to recruit. The people chasing are hunters and the people running are prey and the goal of the prey is to run around the country to avoid getting caught by the hunters for as long as they can for a guarantied better life and a heafty cash prize. The goal of the hunters is to try and capture their desired prey and if they succeed, they date or recruit them. Mahiru finds himself nominated by japan internet to be prey and he does it.
"Haunted House" Au where the Servamps arent vampires but still immortal and they get sentient houses out of it. I love this one.
Mahiru And The Witch's Broom Au, based off the movie Mary and the Witches Flower. An Au where Mahiru breaks his broom so he buys another that turns out to be a magic broom that broomnaps him into the magical world hidden from non-magic humans. He had picked up a normal "cat" the same day and the cat, Kuro, got broomnapped with him. Mahiru becomes a witch and its chaos, I love it.
There's also my Welcome To Demon School, Iruma-Kun au for Servamp. Akira made a deal with a demon, Tooru, when Mahiru was born in order to help take care of him and give him a family, Tooru gets attached to Akira and they both end up concidering themselves siblings and so obviously he loves his sister very much as well as his adorable nephew Mahiru. Akira dies and their both heartbroken, Tooru doesnt let go of the Shirota Visage and stays in the human world (illegally) to care for Mahiru. Shit happens and Mahiru gets sucked into the demon world and he isnt able to go back. There starts his new school life!
MY CORALINE AU, OF COURSE!!!!!
My clown au that is so for me specifically and i love love love LOVE IT.
My Au based off of the Lotus Flower Casino from the Percy Jackson movie specifically. Please ask about this one.
Mine and @pinkestlittlebutterfly 's Candy House au, which is a more mafia setting post-Tsubaki defeating that has all the demons being human apart from their servamps and each respective demon-servamp has History with each other. Sloth, named Rowan here, ends up falling in love with Mahiru in an attempt to steal away the thing Kuro loves the most. No, they are not related here but everything is great and Fibi's ideas are *mwah* CHEF'S KISS.
We also made a Fae Au together that i adore just as much.
My self-indulgent Sloth Pair move-out au where they get a really nice but trashed house they renovate and its very lovey dovey and domestic and a bit angsty bc Mahiru's never really been anywhere but Tooru's apartment and also Touma makes Tooru miss Mahiru's move-out day when they finally fix their house up. Also they somehow swindle C3 into paying their bills for saving japan.
The Bakery Au where Mahiru opens his own small bakery/resturaunt and takes in Kuro and attracts very annoying people because of it. They all love his cooking. Kuro ends up learning and helping Mahi along with Sakuya. Tho I admit that this au is a little half-baked..... ;3
The Au where Mahiru takes Sakuya up on his request to start a band together and their love gets stronger and stronger with each song and mishap they make and get into.
Love Is Stored In The Cat AU, where Kuro gets moved into the apartment next to Mahiru by a worried Lily, finds a random cat in his apartment one day that got into his house through the faulty balcony door, ends up meeting mahiru because thats his cat and they start talking and its really cute. This is a Kuro healing au.
That Au where C3 buys a place to make all of the Pairs + Team M live in together. Its a very big, nice, high tech house with more than enough space for all of them and their individual preferences but we all know thats not going to stop any chaos and sibling drama. It has a huge, high tech kitchen that I swear Mahiru is in love with. Hed marry it, theres so much space. Also there are a lot of other rooms for activities! Team M has a room dedicated to their game nights.
My IB au, following the game, Mahiru goes on a school field trip to a new museum and gets sucked in to the world of Germaine's paintings. In this au, Germaine immortalizes the servamps through art.
And there's of course the AU where Germaine gets a body of his very own and due to very tough and unfortunate circumstances, Mahiru makes a contract with him! Kuro is not happy.
Then there's the Merfolk Au i have where all the Eves are merfolk instead of the other way around.
Thaaaaaaaat's all I can think of rn. So yeah. Also GET THE HELL OFF MY TUMBLR NICCOLO!!! WE WERE IN CLASS SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER WHEN U SENT ME THIS STHAP. cant believe i didnt see you do that.
#servamp#mahiru shirota#shirota mahiru#kuro servamp#watanuki sakuya#inner kuro servamp#sloth pair#pride pair#envy pair#wrath pair#greed pair#gluttony pair#lust pair#team melancholy#Everyone shut up i had to remember all of my aus#i love them all but i love some more than others
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Sometimes I think about the fact that one of the .5 chapters in the manga it seems like shamrock woke up just turned in the team M base, so that means that Tsubaki carried him from where the fight was back to his home and that image makes me feel things lol
:))) this inspired me. so. (drops this and runs)
content warnings: references to canonical suicide (attempted)
.
He wakes up in a bed.
It's comfortable, more so than what he is used to from the C3 quarters, and this really confirms his suspicions that this wasn't all a dream – nobody came back for him either. For a few seconds, he remains in this position, unmoving, eyes closed, savoring the feeling of not having to react to this, of not having to figure out what happened, why he isn't dead, why he was reduced to nothing but a pawn to sacrifice.
Betrayal. He's going to have to confront it.
He didn't want to. He wanted to die. He wanted to die so he'd never have to think about how his closest friend left him to die.
And now he's...
He opens his eyes.
The world looks different. Brighter. Like he had been blindfolded all his life and now someone freed him from that. The angles are off; there's a bandage covering one eye, but the single one that remains is better than both of them combined used to be. His other senses are sharper too. Everything is louder. The smells are more intense.
A hotel room. The scent of cleaning supplies. Voices, muffled. Music, somewhere.
And then it's all gone, replaced by a feeling so intense that it hits him like a physical punch: hunger.
He gasps out loud, the sound in the otherwise quiet room startling him. It's the first breath he's taken ever since he woke up.
And of course he knows. He knows what happened to him. He knows because he shot himself in the head and he's somehow not dead. Or perhaps he is. Perhaps he died and was dragged back, against his will, because his enemy – unlike his allies – refused to abandon him.
The hunger is spreading. His limbs are trembling but he's not terrified; perhaps he should be but death destroyed this part of him – he's not human anymore, he's a monster, or perhaps something in between.
Footsteps. A knock.
"Can I come in?"
(He can't remember the last time anyone did that for him. Knocking. Giving him the opportunity to refuse.)
The enemy. The enemy. His body tenses and trembles but he's a monster now, so does that make him the enemy? Did he become the enemy the second his people abandoned him?
"Show yourself," he replies.
The door opens.
Tsubaki, camellia, looks almost... normal. He can be neither, known for his extremes, his unpredictability, but right now, he is calm. He's smiling. The sunglasses are sitting on top of his head, so his red, vampiric eyes are looking straight at him. Unfiltered. Genuine.
The hunger recedes a little, calmed by the presence of another person to distract him from it.
"I don’t expect your forgiveness," Tsubaki says. "Not now. Not ever. But I couldn’t let you do that."
He steps closer, extending a hand to him.
(He did that on the battlefield too. Vampire to vampire hunter. Except now it's master to spawn. Servamp to subclass. Vampire to vampire.)
Tsubaki continues, "You died, and were born again for a second chance. For that, you deserve a new name, Shamrock."
It goes through him like a shock wave; he knows all about the importance of names, especially for a Servamp. Tsubaki is changing the rules, just like he did on the battlefield, when he turned from an enemy to a friend, when he offered him mercy where his friends only offered betrayal.
Shamrock accepts the hand offered to him.
Tsubaki pulls him up from the bed and once he is standing, puts both hands on his shoulders, his gaze not once leaving him.
"This can be a home. If you wish," Tsubaki says. "But it doesn’t have to be. I will provide you with blood and then you are free to go wherever you want. Just know that I will always be there for you. I won't abandon you. I won't betray you. I would rather let you kill me instead."
Shamrock takes a deep breath, not that he has to. It feels right to perform this act of gathering oneself, as human as it may be.
He says, "I'm yours. You have me, my loyalty, all I can give."
Tsubaki's eyes grow... pained. Like he didn't expect it, like the concept of mutual devotion is entirely foreign to him.
"I don't demand this from you," he finally responds after a few seconds.
"I know," Shamrock says.
Tsubaki lets go of him. His fingers reach up to his sunglasses; he pulls them down and adjusts them until they're covering his eyes.
"Let's get you fed," he mumbles, almost distractedly. "You will change your mind afterwards.
Shamrock thinks, You don't consider yourself part of it all, do you? You expect to be used. You expect to be left behind.
You expect me to do to you what was done to me by my friends.
He dreams of it sometimes. Death. The hazy hours in between, before waking up reborn. He dreams of Tsubaki's hands picking him up, the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. Being carried home, a little like a child being carried to bed by a parent.
This can be a home, if you wish, Tsubaki said.
But he didn't mean it. Or rather, he didn't believe it.
Later, Shamrock will think that the hotel was chosen deliberately – nobody stays forever.
Watch me, he will think in his more fierce moments. Just watch me. This will be a home. You will be a home.
i just love them ok also this was written on a train with half a braincell, no guarantees for accuracy or correct grammar/spelling
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as always you are so right on your opinions lmao.. cr will always have a special place in my hearth but since watching other (better) live plays and playing myself I cant sit through a single ep.. matt is great but he is almost too descriptive we dont need all of that matt please edit it down a little king, and the cast man i loved them but they are not decisive people like i feel like poking them with a stick (except travis thats my #1 rp on that table).. the most recent cr thing I watched was calamity and thats kinda cause brennan is great and the cast was stellar abria, lou travis! sam when he is actually playing of others <3 but idk it feels sad like I have outgrown them.. :/
anyway love your mind as always and what is your fave d20 season if you dont mind sharing? I have only watched A Court of Fey & Flowers and I loved it.. but I have no idea what to watch next hehe
calamity was SOOOOOO GOOD you're so right. brennan really rocked up at critrole HQ, showed everyone how it's done, killed 5/6 PCs and ruined the rest of CR forever because nothing will ever be that good ever again. the sexiest table we've ever seen. "this is going to be a to whom it may concern - i cast fireball" BITCH!!!!!!
i think campaign 3 would have really benefited from a more elaborate or expansive session zero because the vision matt has for the campaign does NOT align with the characters at all. it doesn't seem like they're on the same page at all. the mighty nein worked because they were all random people, they all had something unresolved or mysterious in their past, they all had secrets, and matt gave them a huge playground for them to develop those characters with plenty of scattered points of interest for them to choose. and even though it was just as chaotic as C3, it worked because they weren't on the clock.
i don't want to use the R word but bells hells are being railroaded into this predathos plot and NONE of them had ANY relationship with the gods, so it feels really unnatural for any of them to really pursue this beyond feeling like they should. orym and imogen have stronger motivations but orym is extremely passive and imogen just sits and whimpers about it making absolutely no decisions. it's very frustrating as a viewer and if i were DMing this i would be so frustrated with such indecisive players. but i think it's also on matt for inundating them with lore and plot so early on. all in all it's just not executed very well and it's disappointing.
oooh my fav d20 season i think is a court of fey and flowers or a crown of candy (not super keen on the ending, but i would have to rewatch and have a good think about what i would have done instead..). acofaf was just incredible, hats off to aabria for making me so invested in a fae bridgerton. WAIT ALSO MENTOPOLIS. i have never laughed so hard in my life. mike trapp and hank green were a DELIGHT. just absolutely incredible character choices all around. really enjoying fantasy high junior year so far, which is nice because sophomore year was a bit of a slog i'm ngl, probably because it was live and therefore unedited but i struggled sometimes to keep focused. junior year is fucking crisp though, everyone is on top form ❤️
#i still need to finish unsleeping city and dungeons & drag queens#haven't watched starstruck odyssey yet either or the bloodkeep one#oh also partway through neverafter. which requires more focus and brainpower than some of the others lol#so i'm a bit slow
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how would you suggest someone get into critical role if they don't know where to start
There’s a lot of things to take into consideration when starting CR because it’s A LOT of content so I’ll give you a few options, friend!
Option One: Start with Campaign 1. Vox Machina is the most plot driven and has the most classic fantasy hero archetypes. Pros- it’s complete, less episodes than campaign 2, sets the foundation for the world/story so you understand references in the later campaigns. Cons- the quality is kinda shit for most of the campaign, and the first 25 or so episodes are a little rough because there is another cast member that eventually leaves the group. Very little ashley johnson 😔 EDIT: Also it starts in the middle of things because it was an already ongoing dnd campaign that Geek and Sundry wanted to start streaming, so characters and relationships are already established versus c2 and c3 we start at the beginning of the story
Option two: Start with campign 2. The Mighty Nein’s story is more character driven, and they’re more of a ragtag group of misfits that kind of stumble into being heroes. Pros: it’s complete, much better quality the whole time, and no weird hiccups, the story itself stands alone from c1 so it’s easy to start with. Cons- you might miss some references to c1, and it’s more episodes than c1 so it’ll take longer to get through. Little ashley johnson but her character stays more relevant in her absences and eventually she’s back full time.
Option Three: say fuck it we ball and start with campaign 3. C3 is pretty plot driven like c1 but the characters are kind of ragtag misfits like c2, and it’s currently in progress. Pros- the least amount of episodes so you could catch up the most easily, episodes are the highest quality so far. The most Ashley Johnson, she’s here full time babey. Cons- a lot of backstory and plot is relevant to c1 and a liiittle bit to c2, and also some things from Exandria Unlimited (a short like 8 episode miniseries they did) so you might feel like you’re missing out on some things.
Alternatively: If you want the best way to catch up on Campaign 3 because it’s still airing, I would recommend watching The Legend of Vox Machina animated series. I think the 2 seasons that are out is more than enough to understand the most important callbacks. Then if you really care about having full context watch at least one episode of EXU, at least to know the characters. And then jumping into Campaign 3 should be no problem! You could also watch TLOVM and then jump into campaign 2, or watch TLOVM and then jump into campaign 1 where it leaves off (though things are a bit different and more fast paced in the show)
Other general tips/resources: Watch at 1.25 or 1.5 speed so you can get through the episodes faster. Critical Role Animated Recap exists for all of campaign 2 but it’s VERY vague. Like bare bones basic plot points. Written recaps are also available on the CR website if you want to read. Also marisharaygun on youtube does highlight videos but i’m not sure exactly what campaigns/episodes they exist for
That was A LOT of information and I totally understand if it’s overwhelming because they do have a LOT of content. But hopefully this helped a little bit, and if you have any other questions totally feel free to let me know!
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(Long ask warning)
Hello! I'm jumping on the appreciation train to say thank you so much for all of your meta and analysis! I just found your blog today, and you've already given me so much clarity and context for things I've been noticing in the CR fandom lately.
I quite literally spent my summer living under a rock (in the woods leading spelunking for scouts!) and so was completely out of the loop from early June through September. And while I am not yet caught up (I'm about to start ep. 65), I have been going through the tags and ao3, because I primarily engage with fandom through fic and I don't care about spoilers. And I can't help but notice that everything being written for c3 lately is just... monochromatic. The Hells have such interesting characters and premises. One would think they're ripe for creative and interesting fic. And yet even what little gen fic that I have seen since returning to civilization has largely been boiled down to reiterative mush with vaguely shippy overtones. I can totally see this being indicative of the cresting and waning of the Imodna and Callowmore shipping you've been discussing.
I've gotta ask though, is it really just shipping that is causing this problem? Or is there something else in the source material that you think could be affecting fic in particular?
This is the first time I've been in a fandom with ongoing source material in over a decade. I'm used to watching people beat dead horses in their own little corner, safe in the knowledge that I can block them and it isn't going to affect my experience in the slightest. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing/remembering that shipping can be this incidious.
So a couple of things: first, I was not heavily involved in fandom until Critical Role; I have a decent amount of background knowledge from being on Tumblr and because I do tend to look into/research this kind of thing because it's very interesting to me, but you will probably have better snapshot of what fandom looked like 10 years ago than I do. Second, fanfic has always been a tiny aspect of what I've engaged with and I do find the bulk of it to be dull and samey (which is why it is a tiny aspect), so again, you probably are a better judge of the quality of fanfic elsewhere.
With that said, as part of a much larger discussion of which I only have as mentioned pieces of the puzzle, I do think there's been a shift over the past decade or so of like...people expecting the source material to reflect fanfic-y desires, and resenting it when it does not; people not seeing the point in enjoying non-canon ships; and a broader theme of self-infantilization. This has to a small extent spilled over into published fiction, though thankfully there's plenty that isn't that. It's not just shipping (though that absolutely can be insidious to the point that people have been harassed and doxxed over it); I think it's a general taste for pablum that has been growing within fandom spaces.
I'll link a few posts I've made and a source that, while I cannot vouch for it per se I did read and found enlightening at the end but I think a really indicative example as of late was the fandom response to the show Good Omens (spoilers for Good Omens S2 in the next link if you are by any chance avoiding those). Obviously do not do anything obnoxious to the person who wrote this question, but there are a worrying number of people in fandom spaces who believe this unironically and uncritically: fiction exists to "save us from hurtful reality." And I do understand that the tumultuous politics and world events of the past decade are probably a factor; but I mean, have you looked at literature from the first half of the 20th century (or like. the second half, for that matter)? It is, in my opinion, only going to help put our modern world and issues in better context and honestly make you feel better in the long run if you read, say, The Great Gatsby or The Things They Carried instead of burying your head in lower case song lyrics ... (hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, 6k) and like, to be clear, I have written a small portion of lower case song lyric-titled fics myself but most of them aren't terribly happy, and even so, god I'd be horrified if that was all people were reading.
We've seen it across fandom at large with the polls; I have not watched season 2 of Our Flag Means Death in part because I've realized with horror that this mentality has swept, plague-like, through that fandom; people are acting like having a canon queer ship on a small premium cable show in 2022 is world-changing and unprecedented while also kind of ignoring everything that isn't the central ship (including valid criticisms of how this takes a real-world plantation owner and turns him into a goofy fop, how there's precious few female characters and none in the main cast, and how the actually far more groundbreaking nb character is pushed aside in favor of the core M/M ship). Spoilers for Good Omens again (sorry in advance, Good Omens 2 was a realization point for me how deeply and widely this rot has set in in some places and I have a bunch of sources of people being like "guys stories require conflict and tension to be good" in response to the overwrought moaning that the story wasn't unambiguously happy) but this is another author responding to the "the desired endpoint of all fiction is obviously to have your ship living in a small house together in bliss and anything else is torment" mentality.
In addition to shipping another factor is, I think, people overidentifying with characters and as such being reluctant to actually put them through any sort of hardship, however minor. I recently reblogged a post about the origin of the concept "Mary Sue" and it led me to read a bit about its history, because it was in fact created by women. It was a woman in the Star Trek fandom who was sick of spending money to buy fanzines (pre-common home internet, let alone pre-Ao3) only to find the vast majority of the stories to be this "here is my self-insert who is perfect and beautiful and pure and every other character thinks she is the greatest even if that's entire OOC". It was a frustration with the abandonment of the characterizations in the original work. And that's true today - I have read a popular Imogen and Laudna fluff fic to see what the deal was and it stripped out so much of their premises and characterizations it was unrecognizeable as them but for the hair colors and occasional cringeworthy attempts to replicate Southern US dialect - but what was notable is that those people were at least being honest and writing OCs (though to be fair a lot of them were also young white teen girls and the only woman in TOS was black and that was probably also a factor). Now, you get people who cannot tolerate any analysis of characters that is less than flattering because instead of having an OC, they are identifying so strongly with, for example, Imogen or Ashton, that they cannot separate out the real character or understand this is not an attack on them (or, to be blunt, as someone who sees some of my own worse traits in both those characters, a necessary critique). It's not shipping, but it is that same "fiction should only ever be a soft blanket or a flattering mirror, never a dark mirror and certainly never a door" mentality.
I do place a little blame on fanfiction itself; I think having something that is roughly made to order and tells you exactly what it is up front means people start to think that is the only way, and that's why we have people claiming Chipotle is the height of cuisine while making gagging noises at the authentic Mexican restaurant except for fiction. I think fanfiction can be great; it's fun to write and I have read some great pieces. But a lot of it is mush and formulaic and as that Mary Sue history points out, always has been.
So anyway, to Bells Hells: I think past campaigns also had a lot of dull fanfiction; I think the Nein lent themselves more to poorly written angst than poorly written fluff but yeah a lot of that was really samey and bland in its own way. Fanfiction has always been formulaic to a degree but I think we're starting to see the generation of people who really have read more of that than like, books, and sure there are shitty books, but man there's a LOT of shitty fanfiction, and increasingly, I find that shitty published books are bad because they're too much like fanfiction. [If I get the chance today I have a post I want to write about the ignorance of fantasy tropes in the current fandom which I think is also driving some of this and which I alluded to in my post about shipping; like, I feel the almost automatic but oddly thought-free resistance to gods and fate and the 'right' way to respond to a tragic backstory comes from this ignorance; this also is a case in the D20 fandom when they've dipped into sci fi.] Shipping definitely is a factor, and I think again C3 has an influx of fans primarily here to ship in that "my ship must become canon and must 'win' for some arbitrary definition thereof" which is probably why so much of the fanfic sucks, but again, this is a larger self-infantilizing and entitled mentality that goes beyond mere ships.
Further reading (mostly my own posts but not exclusively)
The fandom echo chamber (also Good Omens spoilers in a broad sense), not by me
Some discussion on queerphobia being inserted only as a tool to assist with specific shipping narratives (I think this ties in again to like. people need obstacles to justify why the characters aren't already in their cottage by the sea but once the characters are together they discard these obstacles even if they are systemic and would still exist, which makes for really bad fanfic bc it's clearly poorly plotted and thought out)
Me on why this campaign isn't good for shipping but a lot of the fandom showed up primarily to ship (might be the post that prompted this ask tbf)
Fandom monocropping (not my post)
My treatise on Imogen and Laudna specifically which honestly, even now that they are canon, still largely holds up re: the fandom and a related one about similarly fluff-centric Change is Evil and the highest order of fiction is Two Blorbos In A House With Zero Problems mentality (not by me but I've been part of that discussion)
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Asks for Critical Role
What would your headcannons be for
Reader x Percy
Reader x Vax
Reader x Dorian
Reader x Dariax
Reader x Ashton
Reader x Scanlan
Reader x Mollymauk
Lots of characters here, I actually haven't written for most of these before since they're C3 so this is gonna be fun.
Pairing: Percy, Vax, Dorian, Dariax, Ashton, Scanlan, Mollymauk x Reader
Tags: fluff, crushes, confessions, dating, morning fluff, kisses, established relationship, teasing, flirting
A/N: Somehow I feel there are as many CR main characters as there are MCU ones.
Percy would love to have you in his lab while he works. Weather you're helping him or just sitting there, asking about his work and hand him tools every now and then, just having you close, hearing your voice is enough for him. He also likes to shopping with you, doesn't matter of its for things that he needs for his workshop or just general things, he likes walking with you and see what you get excited about on the market.
Vax likes making you laugh and making you smile. He'll sneak up on you in the morning, hug you tight and kiss your cheek and neck while whispering sweet nothings in your ear. He knows you really seeing his knife throwing skills at work so he tries to come up with new techniques and tricks. He also likes seeing you flustered so he'll sneak up on you and say something dirty just to see you blush and trip over your words.
Dorian would be the sweetest, and also kinda shy, gentleman with you. He waits for you to approach him when he notices you looking, he'll kiss your hand and put on a charm, but he'll stumble if you flirt back before he gets his bearings again. Very big fan of showing affection at any time. Will play you any song you request as long as it's just the two of you in the room. Let's you braid his hair whenever you want because he enjoys the intimacy of the act.
Dariax would do the stupidest, most daring things to catch your attention once he decides he likes you. However while he's fine with putting himself in harms way with his daring antics he doesn't want to see you get hurt because of him. He'll never overstep your boundaries, he'll always stand up for you. He's a cuddler and not shy about it at all. A very good listener even if you sometimes get the impression that he's not listening because he tends to have a very carefree attitude.
Ashton is very brash and forward with you. If they like you they will bluntly let you know that and will openly flirt with you and tease you. They enjoy making you blush when they kiss your cheek. Very protective of you and will fight anyone who makes you uncomfortable. They can take affection as well as they can give it and even encourage you to be more bold with them. When you sleep together they are mindful not to crush you but give you a good dose of cuddles.
Scanlan is flirt, a heartbreaker, he's seductive and finds if hard to settle down with just one person. He enjoys spending time with you a lot and tries his best to let you know how much you mean to him. He loves to serenade you and tell you stories of him and Vox Machina's adventures to try to impress you. When he falls deeper in love with you he does everything he can to assure you that you're not just another meaningless fuck, but that you really matter to him and he's ready to do anything for you, give you anything to make you see how much he loves you.
Mollymauk likes his freedom a lot. He doesn't stick around for very long at first but whenever he's in town he visits you, brings you gifts and spends as much time with you as he can before he has to go on the road again. He likes it when you kiss his scars. He tells you a lot of stories, you're not sure how much are true but they sure are fun to listen to. Makes sure to send you letters when he's away and always keeps yours to read them on the road.
#critical role#critical role x reader#critrole x reader#percy x reader#vax'ildan x reader#dorian x reader#dariax x reader#ashton x reader#scanlan x reader#mollymauk x reader#critical role imagine#vax x reader#percy de rolo x reader#vax'ildan#vax#percy de rolo#dorian storm#dariax zaveon#ashton greymoore#scanlan shorthalt#mollymauk tealeaf
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i think i came across different & more negative than i meant to on my last ask, my bad!!
can't imagine ending up hating c3 in any capacity, not now and not when i'll eventually catch up on other campaigns! reading the comparisons (rookie mistake) i was mostly bummed out about apparently getting less character focus than previous campaigns, because i love the characters i met haha
i'm loving the campaign and, truly, the show in general - watching these people tell a story and have fun with it is so special and i'm forever glad i stumbled across that first episode. i didn't mean to imply differently, i might have messed up with my english somewhere and struck a different tone than intended
and you are spot on, i'm mostly just stuck in a bit of a random spiral, which is obviously not on the show nor something i wanted to dump on you! your (and everyone's) responses have been real helpful, i'll basically...work on chilling out and stop talking myself into being miserable lmao thanks!
no i definitely get it!! and like you said the negativity has been getting you down so it makes sense. you’ll definitely find that each campaign does something better than the others, so what you’re lacking in one you’ll definitely find in another.
i do understand that disappointment though, i had a similar issue with a previous campaign where a character i loved could’ve had an entire arc for their backstory but didn’t get one. i can’t imagine them ending c3 without dealing with delilah or exploring more of fcg’s past in aeor, neither of which have a time limit like the solstice stuff does. i also don’t see how they can beat ludinus at their current level (even with fearne and ashton as they are), so we really have no idea what’s to come.
i wouldn’t take the fandom too seriously anyway, there’s a lot of deeply-rooted misogyny which many can attest to and i find that seeps into a lot of opinions without people realising. these are the same people who call laudna boring like… please be so fucking serious rn lmao
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I WANT TO STUDY DORYMS EARLY EXU DYNAMIC LIKE A BUG CAUSE LIKE…..it’s not that they hate each other, the respect for each other is there even in the beginning (ie “our little tactician”), they both seem to take on each other as the only other Responsible™️ member of the group, they have little moments of teasing (honeying the flute), they lean on each other when plan making, they first turn to each other, having dialogues only to themselves.
In a sense, the basis and beginnings of what we see from them in c3 is ALREADY there,,,it’s just,,,,their fundamental beliefs and values are SO DIFFERENT (partly because of how they were raised, partly because of who they are as people) that they can’t help but butt heads sometimes, say and do things they other doesn’t agree with. it doesn’t help that they both take sort of take charge of the group at times in the beginning, their need to help the group do the right or best thing collides because they have such DIFFERENT VIEWS on what is right or the best.
But the thing is,,,,,THE THING IS!!!!!! EVEN WHEN THEY ARE ARE ODDS!!!!! THEY STILL CARE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!! THEY STILL RESPECT EACH OTHER!!!!!!
even when dorian wants no business with the fire ashari, he agrees to help them out because “if orym wants to help you, I want to help you.” !!!!!! even when dorian does questionable things like wanting to keep the circlet, attempting to give up gilmore, trading poska to lolth they he does it with the intention of keeping his people safe (which by extension, includes orym)!!!!!
even when orym wants no business with the circlet, he doesn’t push when dorian (and the others) insists to keep it!!! even when his intuition tells him not to, he decides to trust dorian!!!!! even when he’s THREATENING dorian, he doesn’t do it out of anger but out of WORRY!!!!!! BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW GOOD DORIAN IS AT HEART AND DOESN’T WANT HIM GOING DOWN A DARK PATH!!!!!!!!!
IDK JUST,,,,,,the juxtaposition of the good nature of their smaller more innocent moments, to the intensity and hostility of their disagreements, to the meaningful and attentive implications of the things that go unsaid through what they do for each other in early exu JUST FUCKING GETS ME!!!!!!!! I miss them sm WHEN WILL THEY COME HOME :(((((
(Sorry im rambling in ur inbox just ur last post about how long it took for them to warm up to each other in EXU got me thinking so hard)
don't apologize for messaging!! i love shootin' the shit!!
i LOVE relationships that take work. like you said, the respect is a constant and i think that's why they learned to work with each other as well as they have and got to the point of "i give dorian a look a spouse gives a spouse". respect is one thing, but i think for both of them trust is hard-won and their trust in each other was no exception, and to me it shows in how solid their care for each other has grown to be.
this might not really fit into this convo but i also just appreciate how much of EXU liam has held onto because on 4 sided there was a question/comment about the conversation orym had with imogen and liam pointed out that he'd already worried about a friend following a dark path with dorian and i think the trio going through something so serious in their (mini campaign long) game zero set them up to be a grounded set for the chaos that is the bell's hells.
i am partial to the theory that liam and robbie have something planned for the long game even if it didn't start way back at the start of exu, and im excited to see if/how it plays out. liam has made it pretty clear that he/orym is still actively thinking about dorian and where he fits (at oryms side!!!!!!!!!), and it was also made clear even as early as the cast live tweeting the night of episode 14 that they aren't letting robbie go far so i have hope he'll be back at the table eventually. i think robbie works really well with the group, and it's backed up (to me) by him being brought in at the very start of the campaign and wrapped up so tightly with two principal characters/players.
also also we have travis in our corner via chetney and also 1000% himself. between chet asking about dorian and orym's relationship damn near the second he had dorian alone to his "whatever comes next" when he gave his gift to orym and also travis poking robbie about dorian having a romantic interest on 4 sided dive. which, on that front, another reason i'm convinced robbie and liam have something figured out is because of how cagey they've been about it lol. like robbie just not answering and then orym's "its complicated" and stuff.
#i might be talking so much but saying nothing lol i hope some of this makes sense at least#but feel free to send asks/messages im always game to chat!#and you'd better believe i've been side-eyeing robbie's con schedule lately#critical role#exu#bell's hells#dorym#dorian storm#orym of the air ashari
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The M/ighty N/ein got new art for the latest live show, and they've gotten worse.
In addition to giving up on Artaghan, Jester appears to have given up pastries and candies. She's recognizable by virtue of being a blue-skinned tiefling, and little else.
Beau has aged 30 years in the 7 in-universe years since the last special and has no leg muscle to speak of. Beau, the one who shouldn't age thanks to the monk's Timeless Body, has aged decades more than any of the others.
Fjord looks like he's cosplaying Oskar from Jester's romance novels.
Caduceus looks okay, aside from how flat his face is.
Caleb also looks okay.
Yasha doesn't look like a barbarian. Any muscles aside from her biceps have apparently atrophied.
Don't care so much about Caleb, so let's focus on the others.
How does this keep happening? I understand that your style can change over time, but can you seriously get to a point where you can't even manage to keep the characters basic facial structure the same? Is that a thing? (I'm not an artist, so artists let me know.)
Originally, probably like a lot of you, I assumed they were still using Ari. Turns out that they're using a different artist (Hannah, who apparently did the C3 art), so maybe that's why everybody looks extra weird. But I'm not giving her any leeway either.
Just going by the faces, maybe Beau isn't too bad, though I was genuinely startled when I first saw her (her eyes are too big and like you anon, I think it's ridiculous that she looks SO old). And even though Fjord and Cad also aren't too bad (though I did laugh out loud when I first saw Cad's nose), I think the main problem I have is that they look too human. Jester also looks too human. Again, like I said in the past, they all look like cosplayers, and shitty ones at that.
And why the hell does Yasha look like a teenager? Honestly, if you showed this Yasha and this Beau to someone who's clueless about CR, and told them they're in a relationship, they'd probably think there was a really problematic age gap.
I know we bitched about Ari's one-shot art, but at least in her's, Yasha looked like a grown woman.
Now the bodies. We already know Jester is a stick, that's nothing new. But it seems like BY got smaller...
I came across a Reddit post about the art. Skimming through the comments, I saw that someone said they all have a 'bobblehead' look. And I have to agree. Heads too big for their bodies. (Especially Beau.)
Beau has never been bulky, but even she looks thinner. Yasha is a lost cause.
I guess the ONE positive is that Beau doesn't look like a white woman with a bad spray tan?
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