HIIII :) here to ask about the abyss tell me about it please please please love this sort of thing :3

HAIIII welcome :) to preface this im normal i swear. anyway The Abyss is what i like ta call my Horrible Horrible Maze, i made it w/ the goal of making the worst possible experience in minecraft to torment my friends ^_^

I enjoy putting people in situations and studying them :D 

On that note! everyone who runs the abyss (24 people at current count) I time and write a couple notes on them! the abyss is honestly half maze half personality test LMAO. at current moment the quickest time goes to @ghostpajamas with a baffling 03:24 (wild that he got out so quick, i win tho cause i haunt his dreams), and longest goes to the beloved @rendogdomesticated with 1:35:54 <3 special shout out ta my dearest @theoctagon tho wolff ur insane i love u. guy goes inta the abyss for fun and has like 10 pages and counting of insane person phsyical notes tryna map it out (hes reported that hes gone through the first one 60 times and the 2nd one 5 jesus chriiiistttt). the abyss is fond of Pilot :) also if wolff is the favourite than @potionofinstantdamage is the Least favourite, rude ass set the place on fire when he got stuck in there :( oof ouchie

Highlights from my notes include @quack-city running backwards and upon me asking Why, simply replied “what if there’s slenderman :(‘ ... cant argue w/ that! he also hadda stop mid run so we decided its funnier if he’s just stuck in there forever. @newtbeetle was in there for like an hour and would NOT shut up about Paul Dano the whole time which was a time (love u beebs. ur isnane). my two test runners are @kishdoodles and @officialgleamstar and they had about the same time but like Opposite reactions it was very funny, kish treated it like they were a streamer n kept a like constant chatter, and travvy was like DEAD silent the whole time n Intensely focused akjewkjr tbh outta all 24 runners trav’s been prob the most like, methotical bout it? LIKE I SAID personality test. i Love studying people. 

In regards to its origins I came up w/ the idea back in like feb/march ish of this year and from start to finish it took me like 2 weeks ish i was on the Grind. u dont understnad how much black concrete this thing took. hell on earth,,, darkwoods has an economy/shopping district and i bought out like All the sand/gravel available akjwekjr the rest i hadda gather myself n God gravel sucks. also ive killed So Many Squids. the 2nd abyss was much easier ta gather supplies for cause i could ask for help w/ supplies n i kept the first one a Complete secret minus my test runners (i hadda bitch at SOMEONE while makin it or i wouldve died i think. speakin of the first abyss has a death count of 13 and the 2nd one has like, 5 or somefin? rlly shouldve writen that down akjwerjk those are Entirely me dying in the process of buildin them btw. its not a true Spain Build unless its mildly dangerous <3) The 2nd one also made me learn redstone, notably i specifically studied Tango’s decked out process vids from s7, tho i really only stole like two aspects of it n i couldnt even get one ta work properly LMAO

The second abyss took me like, wayy longer ta make, bout two months ish (i finished it like mid july). not necessarily in actual like, time spent building but cause in the process of makin it i had Two month long events i was in (Voiceteam in may and Art fight in july) so that distracted me a bit wkwnekeneie Im a bit more secretive bout the second abyss in general since not That many people have actually ran it compared ta the first n theres actually like, Things that can be spoiled in there <3 i like seein peep’s initial reactions its much more satisfying.

This didnt happen w/ everyone but i think a like, Core part of running the abyss is getting emotionally attached ta weird things. i wouldve said just torches until a few days ago when Tac (onea the rat server mods) ran it and claimed the stack of pumpkin pies i gave her as family. But Prior Ta That several people have had very intense emotions bout the redstone torches, whether love or hate or both, key example ft dog: 

Also not everyone ive mentioned on this post is in darkwoods! ive got a server i world editted the abyss inta so non-server members can run it for fun and profit (more data for me) :) on that note ive been slowly infecting the rat gang server cause my friend’s in there alot n another friend of mine’s a mod so peeps in there’ve been runnin it lately :) shout out ta TalonMC for lettin me subject him ta the Horrors literally our first conversation, onea my more fun first impressions i’d say

In regards to lore the abyss is a parasitic entity that infects anyone who gets stuck in there n slowly compells them ta go build their own lmao. note that ive only called the second abyss the Second one and not Abyss 2, because its technically just The Abyss as well cause theres many of them i just made it second wowjdkenejd (a real example of this is Wolff gettin obsessed w/ the abyss n then goin n buildin his own build called the Tower :) very excited bout that) The Abyss has a weird like fucked up warlock bond w/ my goddess oc The Overseer :D Her design’s vaugely based off my irl friend @hotcollectionoftubs cause her creation The Hole on a creative world her n some other friends of mine are on was onea the main insperations for certain aspects of the abyss’ lore :D mainly the teal in the colour palette and the whole ‘the [hole/abyss] provides’ thing. 

(my reference images for her and 3rd pic's art i commissioned from the Lovely @opuntie):

my darkwoods chara, Snake, is a whole nother bag entirely (basic gist is they’re a dimension traveler not by choice and darkwoods is the 3rd world theyve been in, their deal’s worth a whole post of its own lmao) i built the first abyss entirely unrelated ta my chara just as like, fun weird build ta torment my friends w/o yaknow? but then as i was buildin the 2nd one i was like hmmmmmm. alotta things could make sense if i made this one built by Snake. so their retirement arc on darkwoods turned inta even MORE trauma! wahoo! poor guy deserves a break,,, (he will not be getting one). 

(pre abyss + post abyss. i gotta properly draw pre-darkwoods Snake at some point but this dudes changed Alot ill say that lmao. both crops from bigger pieces on my art blog @fluxydrawings)

Anyway thats basically it! ive got more details and things locked in my brain ill probably remember in like 2 days after postin this so theres a chance ill reblog this w/ extra shit later lmao, sides that tho the abyss is my babygirl n thank yall for showin interest ^_^

Memes n shit to end us off:

Lore:

(Cthulhu's POV)

September 19, 1234

"Well Cthulhu, it looks like you've done so much sin... you're incapable of doing good," The doctor said uncertain.

He hates me too, he's probably gonna put me on something stronger than Fentanyl. Something to actually damage me.

He hands me a small box, maybe the size of a human pointer finger.

"Take one of those everyday. If you miss a day, stop taking them entirely till our next appointment.....in 6 months."

"Can I just take one now, and get this over with."

The doctor hesitated, "Actually yeah, you can."

I popped open the box of small pills. I swear, this σΗιτ was smaller than a fingernail, at least to me. The pill was the shape of a normal pill, thankfully, and had a off-white tint. I didn't hesitate taking it, I just wanted to make it was any kinda drug. I took the pill and immediately felt it 'working'.

"So, how do u feel?"

"Like I just took a ΦυςκιΝg pill (¬_¬)."

"Alright well, you're done today. You know what to do, have a day-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up already," I opened the door letting myself out..I tipped the front desk lady...for some reason..even she thought it was weird.

~•••~

I sat on my couch depressingly.

Whatever. I guess I should just wait for Tsy to get home.

*Sigh* I grabbed my phone and opened social media. Nothing new, art, videos, more cultists tryna sacrifice their useless σΗιτ to me.

I feel bad. Maybe I should go apologize to Kthanid. I'M the reason he's about to kill himself. I told the Great Old Ones to help me. I destroyed my family. *Sigh*

I got up the off the couch and left out the door, on my way to Elysia. The fly there isn't super far, maybe quarter or half hour away. Φυςκ I don't even know what time it was when I got there. Maybe 2:45?

Anyway, I 'pulled up' to Kthanid's Palace,

KNOCK KNOCK.

That dumb βιτςΗ answered the door.

"What do you want?" Kthanid said angerily shoving me inside, knowing this wouldn't take a few minutes. I sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry."

The room became cold, and quiet. Kthanid's expression changed. He went from annoyed to anger. I swear, he wanted to rip my face off.

"I'm sorry. Come again," he said annoyed.

"I'm sorry," I repeated calmly.

Kthanid stood up angrily, "OH YOU'RE ΦΥςΚΙΝΓ SORRY?! YOU'RE SORRY HUH?! WELL OF YOU WERE SO ΦΥςΚΙΝΓ SORRY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TORN OUR FAMILY APART!"

I stood up too. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ALL CALL YOU?! THEY CALL YOU A SWEET, INNOCENT, BEAUTIFUL, TREAURE!"

"SO?"

"THEY CALL ME A RUDE, DIRTY, UGLY, FAMILY DISAPPOINTMENT! SOMEONE WHO WILL BRING DISHONOR AND DISAPPOINTMENT TO OUR BLOODLINE!"

The air grew tense.

"Well they were right for the most part. You have an attitude problem, you were the first one in the family to use they're 'gift' the moment they got it-"

"You late bloomers. It was fun."

Kthanid rolled his eyes, "you're attractive enough to have mated with 3 different ladies. But you're always been a disappointment."

"Disappointment my @$$, at least I still have my damn family!"

Kthanids hands started glowing (usually signed as usage of power)

"C'mon Kthan! You wouldn't hurt your own family! Would you?"

"I don't know.. would I?"

Kthanid Lunges at me, I pushed him off quickly, not before getting a claw mark on my face.

The air became denser, I thought I would pass out. The blood from my nose starting gushing, rapidly, until I was loosing lots of blood. My legs became numb and fell back onto the couch. Kthanid sat back down too.

"Be careful. I don't think your delicate, cold-blooded, asthmatic lungs were made for the thick, warm, dense, killing air of Elysia."

I gasped for air, rapidly coughing. Hastur peaked our from the corner.

"H-hey Kth- OMG CTHULHU-SAMA YOU'RE HERE?! ARE YOU OKAY?!"

Hastur ran back into the bathroom grabbing an inhaler, gently giving it to me. He also got me a piece of gauze and some medical tape. I took my two puffs and gave the inhaler back to him.

"I don't need your help nerd."

"Don't call him that!" Kthanid stepped in.

Hastur whispered something to Kthanid.

"Oh- ya! Uh Cthulhu, you should go. I have something to do. I won't be back, and don't come back."

I sighed, again, again. I flew back down to R'lyeh, missing the VERY breathable air.

~•••~

"Hey, cu-ki (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)"

"TSY!" I run up to Tsathoggua, hugging the life out of him.

"Hey! Are you okay bb? Did something happen? Why are you being so clingy?"

I picked Tsy up and plopped him on the couch, sitting on his lap and told him about EVERYTHING.

"You're lucky to have Hastur there, I'm wlad yo'we okii neow though." *Forehead kiss*

I leaned into Tsa's chest, as he cuddled me, slowly falling asleep.

I had talked to Hnarqu about it the next day, and he told me that the damage I caused was wreck less, and unfixable. No one really could forgive me.

OTH 3x01 Rewatch Review

1.  I did not expect a rush of nostalgia to hit me hearing “Feeling A Moment” play in the opening scene but I’m grinning.

2. “I’ve been here alone all night!” way to be obvious, Deb.

3. the inferior ‘hi’

4. “Let’s get you home.” “Uh uh, I can’t be there alone. Will you stay with me?” Why did I see Peyton’s terrible art when she said the last part? Hahaha, I hate them so much.

5. IIIIIIIIII DON’T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYYYYY

6. Lucas didn’t meet Brooke at the airport with flowers, he met his mother instead, so obviously he never loved her.

7. Nothing screams 2000s like this fucking hair

8. “It didn’t matter without you, none of it mattered without you” then why didn’t you ask him to come with you, Haley, my god.

9. At least he put her stuff in storage and didn’t throw it out or give it away.

10. “There wasn’t a moment when I was away that my heart wasn’t with you in Tree Hill”, he got into a car crash and you didn’t visit him at the hospital, Haley.

11. omg look their chemistry disappeared

12. You match your wallpaper, Lucas

13.

14. “It’s always going to be there isn’t it? You and me.” This is what I’m talking about when I talk about how much I hate Peyton and Lucas, this is the STUPIDEST line, her and Nathan is always going to be there too, you and Nicki, that isn’t unique to you two. “They mean that their profound love is always going to be there” how profound could it be when this is the ridiculous dialogue they have.

15.

jfc i hate this show.

16. I like how all of OTH’s clothes look like they’re from Old Navy. NO BUDGET.

17. Peyton is so freaking exhausting.

18. Haley comes back to Tree Hill SO indignant and it’s laughable.

19. “There was never a day on that tour when I didn’t think you were the best part of my life”

.... are you sure? Because mans literally drove up to see you and you were like soooooooooo I think we made a mistake.

20.  LMAO YOU LEFT ONE MESSAGE, HALEY.

21. “There was never a night where I loved it more than I loved you” bro, you didn’t even call him regularly. I’m rewatching The Sopranos for the millionth time and Tony can call his mistress when he and his daughter make a pit stop at a gas station on her college tour but you can’t call your husband at least once a week? Girl.

22. Does Haley not know how rent works? Why would she think she could just have her apartment back when Nathan moved out?

23. I like how Brooke said she rented the apartment, YOU NEED A COSIGNER. Hell, even Nathan would’ve needed a cosigner emancipated or not, that boy has no credit, jesus christ.

24. OTH’s blatant Sunkist promotion makes me laugh every time. No one is going to drink it.

25. It is SO clear that there aren’t anything in these boxes.

26. “Hey, Mouth, nice work! Brooke gets a place of her own and you already got her in the bedroom.” Heehee slutshaming.

27. And, like, if it was one or two of these types of things then it would be like haha, in jest, but Peyton STAYS slutshaming Brooke.

28. “... a couple of those creepy ‘nobody understands me’ drawings that you do.” I love Brooke.

29.”My problem is with anybody who just vanishes and then waltzes back and expects to be instantly forgiven” and my problem is with people who say they’re someone’s best friend and then repeatedly breaks their heart by hooking up with their boyfriend.

30. Oh look, another shot of Peyton looking morose. Such a change of pace.

31. Haley begging Nathan while trying to physically connect with him and trying to get him to forgive her through sex

is actually pretty quality angst and high key cringe at the same time, like I’m secondhand embarrassed but it’s actually one of my favourite Naley scenes because it’s realistic

32. Lmao Dan and his lack of nuance is always funny. “What you call kindness, I call weakness” OK.

33. “Six billion people--” I’m done.

Tumblr's editor crashed when I was writing entire novels over here in the desc about this drawing. Sucks as I wasss pouring my heart and process out here annd it's all gone but my fault for tryna split up 2 posts ig LOL.

So I'll keep it short, out of frustration, in order to not upset myself. xD

AFTEREDIT: IT CRASHED BUT IT SAVED PART OF MY OG DESC WOOOO-

This is the lineup of my main storyline. I plan to upload that on my upcoming spam for TH too, very important ref!! If I get around to it between working between comms and OTA's, I'll create the 2nd one, where more background characters and stuff are on it, that didn't make it to the 1st sheet due to canvas size limitations.

This drawing took me collectively 3 days to finish, past-sketches. The sketches were done half a year ago, which might explain, why some stuff looks wonk and where I forgor to fix some old anatomy mistakes. xD

For now, enjoy the lineup and until another soon-to-be post, after I'm done perusing the con for interns tomorrow. xD Hopefully keeping you a bit more up to date now between my posts, since I know I have a bad tendency to just leave the internet for mental health reasons and then come back, as if I didn't just leave or didn't say a peep for weeks, when not art related,,,

Until again!! Have a great rest of your morning/eveninggg~

I finished this sheet inbetween taking resume and OTA/comm breaks (yea I picked my motivation back up again to work on owed stuff sdkflsdlkg)

I remember typing out my favs so: Chloe, Leo, Finn, Marco, Zack, Arachne. Just the expressions and poses are priceless to me so. xD

Going to an intern mini-con tmrrw so hopefully I'll build up some connections to a few businesses that might want my help so? Yeah, gunna try my best guys. dxfvmfdggkdf

Myyy patience is running thin with typing this soo, yea. xD If you want the height-sheet for yourself, that one's completely F2U, I'll post it next in a sec, if I can edit descs, I'll add a link down here to it, if you were searching for a height sheet, instead of art LOL.

LINK. BOOP!

Gunna also mention manually who made who:

(ALL THE CREATORS GOT BOTH TOYHOU.SE AND DEVIANTART WITH THE SAME USERNAMES!)

-Diego was made by Adoptiverse

-Bryan was made by MarbleDimension / SALEMGRIM

-Finn & Marco were made by HeavenlyHellfire (Hollowed-Hartlocke made Finn's colors)

-Ménos's most design was made by Hollowed-Hartlocke

-Aimee originally belonged to SeveredRose

-Arachne was made by SeveredRose

The rest are all made by myself, lol. You can probably tell which ones I made, since I for some reason fear neon colors and unlogical colors on mammals, I guess. xD

That should be all. Check those guys out, they make rlly solid art/designs IMHO. : )

HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY/NIGHT !!!! : ))

Whats in the AOT Gangs Bag Modern AU Part 2

A/N: This is in my seaside city AU. Marley characters will be in the next part. I tried to keep reader as neutral as possible ~ Connie's part is my fave lol he's so chaotic, PLS why am I so mean to Jean I luv him~ REBLOGS ARE WELCOMED 💕

TW: Implied age gap relationship, mentions of alcohol

Part 1 - Includes the Vets

This part includes the 104 - (Y/N) aka YOU 😌, Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Ymir, Historia

Eren

Certified gamor gorl 🙈

Broke his 4th phone cause hes a degenerate and now his dad refuses to replace it

Broke bitch but also rich bitch

Vapes

Sketchbook for option art class - plays switch during lectures

Went to university cause his dad made him but really he wants to be a streamer

Majors in finance at seaside city uni

Works part time at Levi's tea shop because of an incident that he'd rather not talk about

Has called Levi dad by accident more than once. Jean will not let him live it down.

Loses his bag a lot

Ends up watching video game streamers in class instead of paying attention

Has actually flown to LA for a meet and greet of his fave streamer just for said streamer to cancel 😔

Gets in a lot of trouble at Levis tea shop cause he's so short tempered, he's so bad at customer service.

Tried to arm wrestle a costumer once so Levi has sent him to work in the back instead

Armin

Handkerchief - never gave it back after getting it from historia

Doesn't like social media so flip phone is the vibe (still has it but it's on his ipad)

Intern for Hange

Studies bio and hopes to become a marine biologist

Lives in the same building as Moblit and Hange so he also has a key to Hange or Moblit's place just in case they pull an all nighter

Has mostly ocean pictures on his camera but also pictures of friends and a certain blonde who hes crushing on... *coughs* Annie

Is clumsy and awkward but gets serious when focusing on what he loves

Accidentally forgot water once while he was out on the boat with Hange and Moblit tryna study whale sounds and he was so parched he thought he was gonna die(dramatic). Hange forgot to bring water then chugged moblits. Lets just say their sea day trip was cut short.

Now religiously brings water in his bag wherever he goes

Mikasa, (Y/N), Jean, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Historia after the cut off

Mikasa

Over the shoulder bag

Carries a wallet because Eren is always forgetting his so she carries his money too

Sea shells Armin gave her

Lives with Eren

Carries food for after her gym sessions

Make up for that same reason

Takes notes on her laptop

Majors in finance with Eren

Works part time at Levis tea shop as well

Has a scholarship due to her incredible athletic abilities

Is on the tennis team

Calls her parents everyday without fail and even calls Eren's parents so he and her can say hi

Knows that Jean is copying her mint brand but doesn't mind. Asks him for mints so that he doesnt have to eat them cause she knows he actually doesnt like mints.

Always has food for the gym but also for a Sasha emergency.

Has matching handkerchief with Historia because they saw them when they went shopping. They dont use them much but its the memory and thought that counts.

(Y/N)

Whats in my bag sticker given to you by Mikasa

Mikasa, Eren, and Armin are your childhood friends

You got the airpods as a birthday gift from Eren

The keys are Sasha’s cause you’re staying over at her, Connie and Jean’s place while you find a new place to live.

Yes it does get super chaotic and you sometimes have to go to Eren and Mikasa’s apartment to get some quiet time

Usually you go there when they both have a shift at the shop

You and Jean are both pre-law poli-sci students so in first year you meet the rest of the 104 through Jean and become friends quickly

You use a laptop for your notes

Your camera is full of pictures of your friends and candid shots of Levi that he has zero idea about and you will never tell him cause he’s gonna delete them.

He knows about them he just simps so hard he doesn't say anything.

Theres one picture of him climbing a fence like a pro because you both decided to sneak into the universities tennis court so he can drunkenly show you his tennis skills at 3am.

You got treats for Connie’s cat who literally has no name so everyone has different names they call him. Yours is Captain grump.

The dandelion is from Sasha cause she wanted your sandwich and she offered to trade with you. Obviously not a fair trade but you love her so you did it anyways.

Sasha

Cute and weird wallet phone case is really her vibe

Does not use the case as a wallet tho

Collects random rocks she thinks look like candy. The first time she encountered one she ate it... seriously, Jean had to take her to the doctor to make sure she's ok.

Always has food... ALWAYS

Messy make up bag but she always has a hair tie

Has a switch so she can game with the bois during break

When you and her get annoyed at their bickering over the games you just end up playing animal crossing together. Sasha always steals fruit from your island

Pranked you once by stealing ALL the fruit from your trees

Takes notes on her ipad and unexpectedly has really neat well taken aesthetic notes

A game boy for when she sneakily plays while on shift at Levi's shop

Majors in psychology, and wants to become a child therapist

On the University archery team, she's actually a archery prodigy and was offered a scholarship for it like Mikasa

Roommates with Connie and Jean

Connie

Actually rents a locker cause he does not fuck with back packs

If he needs to carry stuff he puts on his cross body fanny pack

What he can carry in his fanny pack: vape, adhd meds, gameboy, snack for his cat, polaroids he cherishes, a pencil and eraser, peice of gum, keys to his apartment and some cash, lastly his ipod and phone.

Keeps his switch in his locker till he goes home

Has a 6 month old drink in his locker he doesnt care to take out

Keeps textbooks and notebooks in his locker also but carries around one notebook while going to classes which is a bad idea cause he keeps losing them.

Thankfully he has permission to record his lectures so he keeps some notebooks in his apartment

Found a four leaf clover and i'm convinced this is why he hasn't accidentally flunked out cause hes so forgetful about everything. *cries* my poor child

Actually has good grades

Majors in psychology with sasha and bertolot and peick

Jean

Has a pink phone cause he likes rose gold

Says he doesnt believe in wallets but really doesnt have one cause the one he truly wants is like more than 1k

Has the same key chain as Mikasa cause they went to buy it together. Awe... SIKE bb is delusional cause it's more like everyone went as a group and he just got the same one she did ahhaha

Also gets the same brand of mints as Mikasa so he can start a conversation.

Keeps seashells armin gave him as well ( not cause mikasa does it but cause he loves armin also )

Keeps cat treats for Connies cat who he calls snuggles 😳. He will NOT say it in front of anyone but snuggles

Got a blue and red switch so he wouldn't match Eren's switch, cause gawd forbid they match like the besties THEY ARE.

Secretly has reading glasses but refuses to wear them near Mikasa cause he is self conscious about how he looks in them

Is a majoring in poli-sci and is hoping to go to law school - thinks of levi as his mentor and asks lots of questions when levi pops by the tea shop.

Jean stops by the shop a lot because he is visiting (stalking 👀) Mikasa and "studying".

Can surprisingly cook well so he cooks dinner most of the time for Sasha and Connie

His mom gave him that hanker chief. Secretly a mamas boy so he treasures anything she gives him 🤧😊

Marco

Got the phone case as a prize at the seaside city festival but has grown to really like it so he refuses to change it. Boi is emotionally attached like don't even touch it or breathe near it.

Unlike jean he actually doesnt believe in wallets - he gave zero reason’s

Has reading glasses and wears them often - they're actually full time glasses but he doesn't realize it. Jeans tried to tell him but Marcos too sweet he doesn't wanna upset him that he needs to wear them always. They hurt Marco's nose.

Journals every detail of his day

Photography major

Carries around polaroids of his closest friends

Only can finish half his food cause hes a really light eater (pls don't come for me cause of this joke)

Sasha gave him those rocks and he claims he forgot to clean them out but really he treasures them

Historia

Does not fuck with air pods or any ear phones cause they hurt her ears, she will blast her music and everyone lets her

Bought another matching hankerchief as Mikasa cause Armin committed theft and stole the other one. She holds a grudge secretly.

Loves green tea in all forms so she's a regular at the shop

Ymir won her the lil plush at the seasode city festival cause she thought it looked like historia

Journals religiously to the point she cant hear anyone else when shes deep in journal heaven

A history major who doesnt really know what shes gonna do after undergrad school

Thinks she might go to law school or grad school and become a professor

If you ask anyone else what she should do the answers would vary from “marry me” to “model or become famous”

Unknowingly she is one of the campus it girls

Sorry boys but shes a BISEXUAL QUEEN in a relationship with a woman - broke many boys hearts when her and Ymir were caught kissing during the university end of year party

The boys are still simping

Takes all her notes on her ipad and at first she tried to be aesthetic like Sasha but got bored and now just takes neat notes.

Has had Erwin as her prof a couple times and at first it was hard to pretend she didn't know him on a deeper level (her friend's boss who they sometimes party with)

Ymir

Not a uni student

She joined a cruise when everyone was in their first year of uni as a singer/performer

Hopes to become a movie director and music producer

For now works at zekes music studio as an intern

Has an old ass carrot 🥕 in her car but cant find it and doesnt know where the smell is coming from

Her and historia have to drive with the windows down because of the smell

Vapes pretty religiously

Her and Eren are surprisingly really close. They love pranking Zeke and Eren takes all the blame when they get caught cause Zeke can never be mad at his precious baby brother 💀

Loves making juice, especially the aesthetically pleasing ones she sees on tik tok when she's on historias phone

Isn't upper middle class unlike most of the 104 so she only has a flip phone and ipod so she can listen to music ~illegally~

Was able to buy a switch off Zeke for a low price cause it wasn't the colour he wanted so he was practically giving it away (rich man tingz 👀🏃‍♀️)

Now she games with the boiiis and WINS 😎

If you read it all I love you have a cookie 🍪 , forehead kiss and a good day!

Aiit so

I'm tryna redesign Jazz because I'm still sad that he hasn't been redesigned and brought back to any current series

And I even wanna give him new colours and femme attributes

But I'm not used to humanoid figures and when I try I get unsure of what I'm doing and keep stalling from drawing and everything i draw becomes half done ;-;

I feel sad about it and want to pass out but I'm trying to not think of any negative words about it

I just wanna ask, how did you get over the muddy feeling of drawing humanoids?

I feel you anon, I really do. I struggle with this a lot myself.

I have two brands of advice to give you. The first one includes that horrid, horrid word. Practice.

When I was in my first year of college I spent a lot of time going to extra life drawing sessions. I can't recommend this enough, just picking a day or two every week and spending an hour or so drawing poses of the human figure. They don't even have to be long. Sticking to 2-5 minutes and just getting use to getting the basic gesture and shapes down quickly will do wonders. Here are some databases I recommend that have great collections of people posing: https://line-of-action.com, http://reference.sketchdaily.net/en, http://reference.sketchdaily.net/en. Deviant art also has some great pose collections. AdorkaStock, JookpubStock, and theposearchives have some great stuff that I often use.

Second piece of advice is me telling you that have incomplete wips and explorations is the most important part of design. Explore every angle or don't. Draw one leg and not the other because you know it's the same. Put a bunch of shapes on a page and see which one resonates the most with how you want Jazz to look, and fit a stick figure within that shape-- and you can add in actual libs later or not. It's all up to you. Please please know that those concept art books and instagram posts you see are for things much father along in the brainstorming process. You don't have to be creating these works of art in the beginning stages, and if you are, you're doing it wrong (that's not even my advice that is years of being lectured by profs to loosen up my initial concept stage). Stick figures are your friend, shapes are your friend. One very detailed torso on a circle-head and stick legged body is your friend.

Here's an example of my thumbnail vs concept vs final stage of a school project, just to give you an idea of how messy things are allowed to be

Process does not need to be perfect, and it shouldn't be scary. It's just a bunch of scribbles as you wrestle with pulling the ideas out of your brain.

And if what you're worried about is anatomy, allow my to show you some of my favourite little guys from gesture drawing:

Those arms are just a line or noodle. And that's all you need.

Also here's some official tfp concept art that's just some scribbly lines and half the form missing. It's just some shapes pretending to be anatomy.

Sorry for info-dumping on you (and everyone else who has to see this yikes) I'm just very passionate about concept art and doodles. They can be the most freeing thing if you let them.

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

Begin Again [MinYoongi]

Pairing : Yoongi x Reader

Word count : 5.2K

Genre : Fluff and Angst

Description : Friends to lovers, Long Distance relationship, Lovers to (?)

Summary : when you thought the friendship you once had with him died away after one silly mistake, and you thought you would never have again what you lost;

But it blossoms back unexpectedly stronger and is slowly growing to be something more beautiful than you ever had

"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break and burn, and end;

But on a Wednesday in a cafe i watched it Begin Again"

--------------------✨📖✨---------------------

It was the start of a new year and you weren't particularly happy about being moved up a few classes into an entirely new class with relatively new students you haven't personally met yet. You were still grateful for your good results in the past year to have you land in such a good class. In all honesty though, you did miss your friends from your old class, all of them being scattered in the back classes however changed your mind about being thankful that you're at least in a better one. The first few days of getting used to the classes went by rather slowly as you were listening to the introductions of the other students and teachers half mindedly, till around your 4th day into the classes that is.

You were randomly seated in the Chemistry lab by the teacher as she familiarised herself with the rest of the class. Not paying much attention you were spacing out, resting your chin on your palm, tapping away at your cheek.

" Um, hey there"

The voice from the stool next to you spoke. You turned your head to the direction of the voice, being met with warm brown eyes looking right at you. He had soft black hair, eyes slightly puffy as if he hadn't slept well the night before, lips curled up in a slight smile as he looked at you.

"Oh, hello"

you answered, trying not to sound overly shocked at the first human interaction you've had in this new class.

"I'm yoongi, what's your name?"

"I'm y/n, nice to meet you Yoongi"

"So what are your interests? What do you like to do y/n? Any hobbies?"

It definitely took you by surprise when this boy you've never really met before was suddenly making an interest to get to know you more. Something about him felt raw and not shy but in a good way.

"Well i really love listening to music and i do indulge in art as well. Spend most of my time listening to songs while drawing. Draw the mood of the song you know?"

"Damn, haha you sound kinda like me. Not tryna be cheesy or anything but i love listening to music too, I'm shit at drawing tho, i can barely draw a stickman"

Both of you exchanged a little chuckle at his open confession about himself. And even though it had only been a few minutes of words between the two of you, you felt at that moment that he wasn't like the other boys who popped up to talk to you first. This one genuinely seemed interested in you just to make a new friend.

-----------------------🤝------------------------

"Yo y/n you wanna ditch PE and hang out in the library? The new Resident Evil movie came out we can watch"

"You know what, yeah let's yeet"

You don't know how it went from spending lunch times together, to skipping the most boring subjects to hang out and hide. It'd been a few months since you started your new friendship with Yoongi, and by now you were known as the inseparable duo, funny enough both of you became the class representatives. Somehow you two got closer and closer each day, the more you talked the more you felt like you've known each other for years, yet some part of you knew that there was more to Yoongi than he was showing to you.

On a particularly slow day at your classes, you and Yoongi had pre planned to sneak out to hang out at your usual spot in the library. Sitting at the back of the library the both of you laughed at a joke Yoongi made about how almost the whole school shipped the both of you.

"You know y/n, I envy you"

"Oh well, I know I'm fabulous" you playfully said as you flipped your hair back, earning a little grunt and a harmless eye roll from Yoongi.

"It's not that you loonatic, i envy you...cause you have such a nice relationship with your family"

His sudden statement caught you slightly off guard but you gave him a look, clearly eager to know the reason behind his words. Flashing half a smile towards you he starts his story.

"Growing up for me was, well, it was an experience. I grew up under the care of foster parents who constantly reminded me that my parents gave me away cause i was a burden, all my life that's what i was told. Never had a father figure or mother figure to help shape my emotions? Guess that's why I don't show it if I'm sad or depressed, which is actually most of the time"

he looks down at his hands and chuckles softly.

"But you know something y/n? Being with you makes me feel like I could be myself, like I don't have to be afraid of being judged. And that's why I wanted you to know the truth but i understand if you don't wanna get involved or-"

You cut him off by placing your hand on his, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yoongi, i want you to know that I'll always be here for you and you can talk to me about this anytime okay? You're my best friend now! And I'm hoping I'm yours too?" You ask in a more playful tone making yoongi giggle.

"Of course you are"

"Good! Cause i come in a package deal of crackhead and supportive as well as a no return contract"

"Sounds perfect to me bestie"

-----------------------😚------------------------

Over 2 years had passed and the whole highschool down to the teachers were sure the two of you were in a relationship, as everyone saw the two of you being practically stuck together almost all the time. Yoongi and your friendship became stronger than ever since that day he decided to open up to you. It became a regular thing where you'd confide in each other for emotional comfort as well as motivation and support. Not missing the fact that your level of crackhead together had become an all time high.

Your finals and exams blasted through and you had spent all your study weeks with Yoongi in the library. As sketchy as it was you and your best friend actually did sincere studying. And as it would, your hard work together paid off earning the both of you high marks in your finals. The two of you didn't miss to make a trademark crackhead scene at the receiving of the scroll ceremony when you accidentally tripped on your shoelace and Yoongi cracked up laughing and clapping before helping you up. The two of you celebrate with drinks and a lot of food that night and Yoongi paid for everything to make it up to you for laughing when you fell.

You looked at yourself one last time in the mirror before heading out to your highschool's hall. It was your graduation party but more importantly to you it was Yoongi's birthday. Coincidentally the two events had fallen on the same day, and what better opportunity than to get dressed up to party at your graduation ceremony together. It had been a heck of a ride these last two years, and you were going to make sure this last school event would be memorable.

Upon arriving you scan around the hall of students in search of the familiar face.

"Looking for me?"

He makes his presence behind you known by clearing his throat. You turn around to give your usual playful comment back but the words were caught in your throat as your gaze landed on your best friend. He was dressed smart, in a suit that looked like it was custom made to fit him, his hair in a side part and bangs neatly framing his face. You were so used to seeing him in his casual hoodies and ripped jeans that seeing him in formal wear made you choke on your words.

Too focused on getting your senses back in check, you don't notice how Yoongi's train of thought was stopped dead in its tracks as he watched you turn around to face him. He never pictured his crackhead of a best friend in something other than t-shirts and track pants. Seeing you in a dress that hugged your figure in all the right places and taking in the sight of you, with your makeup and hair all done to suit the dress you were wearing nearly made him pass out from how he was holding his breath to admire you.

Clearing the silence between the two of you, Yoongi speaks up first.

"Well well, you don't completely look like the satanic spawn of hot cheetos and depression today. You actually look pretty good"

Smirking a little smile you bite back at his comment.

"Well same to you too Mr. I'm a millennial emo teen. You actually look, presentable today"

The two of you exchanged a playful giggle and assumed your seats at your class tables as the ceremony went on.

You don't see the small glances Yoongi takes in your direction, the thoughts gushing through his mind about how you looked at the moment and cursing himself for not realising your features sooner. He admired the way you had chosen to dress up today, seeing the way you had styled your hair so your curls would frame your face, the way you had done your makeup in a more natural looking way that he thought suited you perfectly. Yoongi didn't remember when the unlabeled feelings for you came but the longer he looked at you the more he was starting to put a name to the feelings he had. So much so that he had completely spaced out in his thoughts of you like that he didn't realise you were speaking to him.

" -don't you think so Yoongi?"

"I'm sorry what did you say? The umm, the music is so loud"

"I saaaaiiddd it's beginning to get a little dull at this graduation ceremony, we need a little surprise, don't you think?"

"Surprise?? What kind of surprise?"

Flashing a smile his way you get up and walk towards the front of the hall where the ceremony host was finishing up their ending speech. Whispering into the host's ear, he gives you the microphone and you confidently stride to the front. But you accidentally go too close to the speaker and it lets out an unpleasant squee, making you move back and away a little. You look up and around finding your best friend's eyes looking back at you giggling at the scene that just occured.

"Well that's one way to get everyone's attention" you chuckle earning muffled chuckles and words from the hall.

"So firstly congrats to everyone on graduating y'all did it. But that's not why I'm up here right now. Today is a special day for someone, and since it's the last day we'll all be gathering I wanted to make this memorable for him. So everyone I would like to wish out here, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN YOONGI"

you started to sing happy birthday and the rest of the hall joined in singing with you.

In all this happening, Yoongi could only focus on you, the way you just boldly got up to sing out loud and wish him Happy Birthday in the most "you" way possible. So he didn't know if it was the moment or if it was his unlabeled feelings overflowing for you, that he got up and walked towards you as the song was ending. He couldn't tell what came over him at that moment but he knew for sure he wasn't going to stop what he was about to do next. Cupping your cheeks in his palms, he leaned in, pressing his soft lips to yours. Kissing you with deep feelings overtaking his mind. The moment his lips touched yours he knew what those unlabeled feelings were, it was Love.

You couldn't process fast enough that your best friend was striding towards you with a goal, a desire. And you surely didn't expect for him to suddenly kiss you. Registering the feeling of his lips on yours, your eyes closed on their own as if on automatic response. You sank into the feeling of his lips, and it was then you felt the spark that ignited your own unlabeled feelings for Yoongi. You had definitely asked yourself countless times before if what you were feeling for Yoongi was more than just friendship. On the countless nights he had cried on your shoulder or when you cried on his, on the many occasions where you were both always partners in crime, you would always glance at Yoongi and wonder what more could there be to the feelings between you.

As the both of you slowly pulled away from each other a roaring sound of cheers erupted as it seemed to be that the two of you were the last ones to know you two were actually in love with each other. Taking your hand in his, Yoongi and you ran out of the hall that night knowing well where the two of you stood from that moment on.

-----------------------❤️------------------------

"No babe I think you should definitely take the opportunity to study there, I know it's far but it'll be really good for you, plus it's something you really like! It'll take some time for you to get used to the new place but i know you'll fit right in. In fact i know your wack ass would stand out"

You giggled at his comment but you wholeheartedly took his motivation and advice. But the question and thoughts still lingered in your mind as you heard Yoongi chuckle on the other end of the phone.

"But Yoongi, this means we'd be in a long distance relationship, with you going off to study in the opposite direction and all. Even our breaks don't match Yoongi.. what'll we do" the worrying tone in your voice didn't go unnoticed by Yoongi as he answered you in a calm reassuring tone.

"It'll take some work, but i know we can get through this okay? We'll make it, we can make it. I love you" you smiled at Yoongi's voice uttering the sweet words of love as you felt yourself calm your thoughts.

"I love you too Yoongi. Well then, keep me company while i pack?"

"You bet"

It had been a few months since you started dating, and honestly it didn't feel any different from when the two of you were in your phase of friendship, everything was going relatively smooth apart from the little fights and misunderstandings you had now that you were a couple. Sometimes you sit to think to yourself if moving into a relationship with Yoongi was the best choice, it would feel as though sometimes he would act differently and not like he always would but you just shake of the thoughts. You just figured with all these future college studies and intakes coming about that he was just as stressed as you were. You assured yourself that the two of you would be alright and that you'll always have each other.

A few more months pass and the two of you have already started your college lives. Yoongi being in a campus almost 8 hours away from you with minimal transport for him to even go home let alone plan to meet you. It was going smoothly, settling into orientation and getting to know the layouts of the campus well, meeting new friends and truly taking in your next step in education. You and Yoongi would exchange day to day text messages about how orientation and the first days of classes went.

All well and good till Yoongi's texts became slower and less frequent, he would always say that he's busy with his friends there, or straight up not giving a response at all. You became more and more fearful at how this long distance thing was going to work out for the two of you.

28th Tuesday

[12:27am] hey Yoongi! I hope you had a great day, I miss you and hope you sleep well, love you!

[08:40am] Hey Babe, good morning! I'm in class now, wishing we could skip like old times haha, hope you have a great day! Text me soon

[6:48pm] Hey i just got back to my dorm after classes, it was super fun! How was your day??

[8:11pm] Yoongi?? Are you okay? Are you busy babe?

[8:24pm] I miss youuuuuuuu :(

[10:16pm] Yoongi :(

You tossed your phone to the side of your bed as you felt your tears well up, why was he suddenly avoiding you? Is he okay?? Did he get hurt? Your thoughts were spiraling, getting messier till you heard the familiar ping from your phone. You scurried to your phone to see Yoongi's name pop up on the screen. Your smile quickly faded, replaced by disappointment at his reply.

[10:43pm] Hey, was busy with friends today, going to bed now ttyl <3

You frowned and wouldn't let him go this time. The days of short texts to unreplied texts and this is how he replies now? In a fit of fury you call him.

"Hello?-"

"Yoongi what's wrong? You haven't been replying to my texts as usual are you okay??"

"Mmh I'm fine, just busy with classes and my new friends y/n"

"Well I can't accept that answer Yoongi, I'm busy with classes and friend's here too but I take the time so why can't you?"

"Hey it's not that big of a deal y/n, we're in new environments now and it'll take me some time to settle in"

"Yoongi surely you have at least 5 minutes a day to text me??"

"Yeah of course I do, I just texted you didn't i?"

"That short ass reply was what you call a text Yoongi? It really sounds like you're avoiding me"

"You know what y/n I don't have time for this right now I'm tired"

"No Yoongi, I haven't talked to you properly in days come on don't you miss me Yoongi?"

"To be honest I've been enjoying the new company here that's I haven't missed you much"

"What do you mean Yoongi? You don't think of me?"

"Not all the time no, i have other things to think about here y/n i have new responsibilities here I can't be thinking about you all the damn time, just be happy I texted you back"

"Are you threatening to not text me anymore Yoongi? Is that what you're saying? You don't wanna talk to me anymore?"

"Oh god for fucks sake y/n stop being so clingy alright? Just grow up a little!"

The sound of his voice in heightened frustration made you choke on your words, you silenced yourself as his words rang loud in your head.

"You know what y/n I don't think this will work out, I'm going to get even busier and this will just be in the way of it all"

"Yoongi…"

"I'm sorry y/n but clearly this distance is proving that we won't work out"

"Are you... breaking up with me Yoongi?.."

The pain in your voice and the soft shaky exhale doesn't go unnoticed by Yoongi. Yoongi takes a deep breath, realising he spoke too fast in frustration. As much as he did feel for you this distance was tearing you apart and Yoongi didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. He spoke softer this time giving his side of his explanation.

"Y/n, you've been nothing but amazing to me, but I realize that we were more compatible as friends, I mean think about it, we've had so many petty fights that we never had before we dated. Our growing college life will further hinder our relationship. I don't want to hurt you like this by not giving you the love and attention you deserve. I'll always love you y/n, just not as more than friends I suppose"

You couldn't believe what was happening right now, your world felt like it was crashing down on you hard and fast, you could feel the sharp stinging in your chest from how your heart was breaking the more reality hit you. Yoongi's words had reason to them, but you were still in a state of confusion. Why could you make time for Yoongi but he couldn't for you? Maybe it's because the two of you are pursuing different fields of studies? Maybe he really had better things to do? Yoongi didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you feel abandoned so he was in fact abandoning you? No? But he said he'll still love you?? Your head was spinning a bunch of thoughts ran through your head.

"Okay Yoongi...if that's what would be the best for us..then okay"

"Don't worry okay? We'll still text as usual, talk when we can okay? I won't let you go, you're still my best friend y/n"

You didn't know if his words would be comforting enough, but at that moment you took what you had and calmed your thoughts for now.

"Okay Yoongi.."

"Good, I have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll talk to you later okay? I'm going to bed now. Goodnight y/n"

"Good night Yoongi"

-----------------------💔------------------------

As it will, Yoongi and you slowly drifted apart. You would often see his social media updates about how he was actively participating in clubs, and how he had taken up new responsibilities, going to camps and hosting events at his institute and he definitely seemed to be doing well. You on the other hand fell more and more at war with your emotions, it didn't hinder your studies. Thankfully you could keep those two apart. But whenever it got a little too quiet you'd think of him, the days in highschool when you were inseparable. You missed his laugh, his endearing way of calling you the most heinous nicknames. You definitely missed his comforting arms, his words of encouragement when you were down, you wished nothing more that in this moment you were crying to him instead of because of him.

You couldn't believe that you were sitting here, broken and feeling alone by the guy that made his way into your life, and had now made his way out in the most painful way possible. You were left there clueless and confused. Did he do it for you? Was it the right thing? Did he really think of you? Why was this happening? What would have happened if you didn't date? Would things be different? Would your best friend have stayed? All these questions playing through your mind, countless nights you spent crying yourself to sleep. Thinking of how you felt almost betrayed, you cursed at yourself for sending texts to him that were only left on read or replied with a simple "I'm busy, text you later".

Slowly days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months as you hadn't spoken much to Yoongi. You became stone hearted from all that had happened and slowly you got back into yourself. You were more and more active in your college life and you were growing to be better at controlling your emotions. Sure some little things remind you of him now and then, but it was much easier by now to brush his thoughts off. As sadly as your situation was you learned to move with it and not let it consume you. Every now and then you'd see Yoongi piston updates on his progressively active life and you'd feel happy for him, you wondered if he ever felt the same for you when he saw your updates on how well you were doing.

----------------------🍃-------------------------

It had been a total of 4 years since everything happened, you were on a roll and you had graduated college. You had a few job applications pending and you were more stable with your life by now. All the questions you once had were stored in a box collection dust in the far corner of your mind.

It was a relaxing Saturday evening, you were in your apartment lounging on your bed. As you were chatting away with your friends a familiar ping aroused from your phone. The name that popped up on the screen made your heart heavy and you breathing shallow, a true ghost from your past…

"Yoongi 🥀"

Your screen read. Taking a deep breath you opened the chat.

[9:57pm] Hey y/n it's been a long time… are you free tonight? Can I call you?

You didn't know what exactly to think right now. Every cell in your brain telling you not to. That you shouldn't give into him again, and that you should just talk to him over text no matter what it was. But your heart was screaming for him, the familiar feeling of longing for him returning in a massive tsunami, washing over your thoughts. You took a deep breath to centre your thoughts and decided you'd listen to him and talk to him again.

[9:59pm] Hey Yoongi, yeah I'm free to talk.

As soon as the message was read by him, your phone rang. You took one more deep breath and answered the call.

"Hello y/n, how are you?"

You cursed in your head at how much you missed his voice, the way he spoke to you at this moment had a hint of the same longing you had for him.

"Hey..Yoongi, I'm good. How are you?"

"I've been good too.. congratulations on graduating"

"Thanks Yoongi, congratulations on graduating too.."

"Thanks…"

The silence that fell had you both reflecting on everything that happened and how fast it all went by. The box of questions in your mind burst out once again whereas Yoongi on the other hand was feeling guilt and hate towards himself for everything that he put you through. Little did you know that these last few months Yoongi was hit with the hard realisation that he had lost not only his best friend but the person he cared about the most. His family certainly did not improve and the one person who was there for him when he needed it, he had left broken hearted and abruptly once he found a new escape. Yoongi was slowly flooded with memories of you as he neared his own college graduation. He remembered your highschool graduation and how he felt for you there in that moment of time. He spent a few nights crying at the realisation that he had thought of what's best for you but didn't think of how you felt and how he had left things between the two of you.

"Why Yoongi…."

Was all you managed to say out loud before your emotions caved in. Understanding what you were asking he answered.

"I was so caught up in the new environment of growing up and moving on that I did what I thought was the best to not hurt you...but I didn't think far enough that doing so will indeed hurt you.. and I wasn't there for you like i was supposed to. It took a hard hit to my head to realise that I was wrong y/n… you were always there for me and stupidly I made this mistake… I thought i was thinking of the best for both of us, when in fact i was thinking of myself.. I was selfish and I realised that…so many things reminded me of you y/n, the clouds, the sun, the sight of roses, the smell of hot cheetos.."

You giggled a little at his last comment earning a little muffled one from Yoongi.

"I understand if you hate me for what I did to you y/n… and I don't know if it'll ever be the same between us again.. but I'm willing to try to bring back what we had... if you're willing to give me a chance…"

You exhaled softly before letting out everything that you've been feeling.

"I don't hate you Yoongi, I never could and I never will. You're everything to me Yoongi and I was just really hurt by what you did and how you ended things. So many thoughts went through my head and I won't even talk about how much you made me cry….you dipshit" the playful cursing nickname made Yoongi chuckle a little, slowly making him feel reassured at the directions of the conversation.

"I'm willing to give us a chance Yoongi..and you're right, I don't expect it to be the same as what we had, I just hate that I lost my best friend.."

"I know..i understand that..and I'm sorry..for everything"

"It's okay Yoongi, I'm sorry too… maybe I should've been more understanding…"

"Hey… do you.. wanna hang out Tomorrow night?"

"You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, i wanna see you and catch up with you"

"Sure Yoongi that'd be nice"

"Great!! I'll meet you at the café by our old highschool?"

"Sure Yoongi, sounds great"

"Right then, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow Yoongi"

You could hear the smiles in each other's voices as you both bid goodnight and hung up the phone. You didn't know what it was exactly but you knew just from that phone call that everything was going to be alright. You felt like you breathed much easier now, your mind much lighter. Yoongi felt the same, he was smiling more now filled with the excitement of meeting you again tomorrow after years.

-----------------------✨------------------------

You made sure to check yourself out in the mirror a few more times before heading towards the café. You had chosen to wear a simple yet stylish outfit, your hair tied back in a low loose ponytail, your short hairs framing your face. You were nervous yet excited to be reunited with your best friend again. And as you approach the café, there he was. Standing outside the door of the café waiting for you. The now slightly more mature looking, dark fluffy haired man, wearing a long black coat was looking just as nervous and excited as he was looking down at his feet.

"I didn't know you needed glasses to see now"

your voice made him turn his head fast in your direction. The moment his gaze landed on you, it felt like highschool all over again. The way you looked standing there, just centimetres away from him. He took in your slightly matured face yet he told himself that you hadn't changed one bit.

"It's official, you're old Yoongi"

He chuckled and playfully scoffed at your comment.

"Well at least i don't dress like the satanic spawn of depression and hot cheetos"

"Sure thing Mr. I'm still a millennial emo teen"

The two of you laughed, and the world seemed to slow down. The feeling that nothing ever really changed between the two of you was knowing, however this time something felt entirely different. Both of you could feel it for sure. It was the feeling of a bond stronger than both friendship and love. You didn't know what the feeling was exactly, all that you knew was that you're never losing each other again. All this while you've been sitting there watching the feelings you had burn and crash in the worst way possible, but today right here at this café, right in front of your eyes you watched everything Begin Again.

exes au part 10

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: this is actually exes au owen and viola and i. hate it

obsetress: i think exes au owen and vi actually really get along like

obsetress: same w hannah and vi

obsetress: like hannah and owen just… water off a ducks back yknow

obsetress: hannah side eyes her a lil more than owen but they always enjoy joining dani n jamie when they go to vi and beccas sometimes

em: big dumb family

obsetress: my big dumb found family

em: i think owen and vi realise they have a mutual passion for: annoying the shit out of jamie

obsetress: rip jamie taylor

em: one day i will stop bullying jamie taylor but its not today!

obsetress: interesting how

obsetress: jamie no parents dani no parents viola no parents

em: (holds back tears) fascinating

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola late to brunch, coming from therapy: so have you all heard of reparenting

em: viola is um. peak ‘i don’t do small talk’ she just goes straight into. tell me about ur trauma

em: she doesn’t have time!

obsetress: which honestly tracks for all of them. jamie first date mum woz looez taylor

obsetress: but yeah viola like. all the time more so, can't be assed

em: damie taking the time to make a space for these nice little earnest heavy convos god bless and then violas like (slams take away coffee on table, startling damie, rebecca unphased) so. today in therapy

obsetress: yeah and like she says she's late because she's coming straight out of therapy but she had time to get her $12 cappuccino?

---

obsetress: vi walking into isabel's room n seeing her curled up w rebecca while rebecca reads her a bedtime story

em: ah

em: AH

em: Ahhhhh

obsetress: rebecca looks up n sees her looking and smiles softly back

obsetress: rebecca kisses isabel's forehead and pulls her covers up and slips out to meet vi in the hallway and then just. rests her palms against her chest and beams up at her

obsetress:viola's just kinda staring yk

em: i think a lot about how like, as a woman of her status viola was absolutely sharp as a razor

em: knew like five languages, a lady and a scholar type deal

em: like the closest we get to that mentioned is her insane business n strategy savvy but

em: idk! viola talk dirty to me in middle french

obsetress: all of the above

obsetress: exes au viola speaks french (because duh) n portuguese n mandarin i think

obsetress: yknow business and globalization and all that

em: beautiful

em: oh my god the horses i forgot abt the horses

obsetress: THE HORSES

em: idk enough about horse girl culture but she has that crop for a reason

em: and not just to make me flustered

em: exes au viola has a country mansion or a stable or whatever and an obscene flat

obsetress: her family home

obsetress: LONG WEEKENDS AT HER FAMILY HOME

obsetress: so much potential

em: she’s walking the grounds and she’s pointing out all of the history and violas face lights up for exactly two things

em: destroying a competitor and family

---

obsetress: idk if you've ever watched dead to me

obsetress: different context but, all i could think was

obsetress: vi and rebecca stay over at dani and jamie's once in a blue moon and dani's still asleep and rebecca's working out or smth and jamie wanders into the kitchen and viola's making a french press

----

em: maybe a little buzzed but perhaps. post break up toxic danvi

[spotify link to love me dead by ludo]

obsetress: now i’m thinking about how dani and vi def hook up after they break up and how it def happens multiple times :/

obsetress: dani tops vi every time :/

em: posts danvi post breakup hookup and falls asleep... a cage of my own making bc now I’m thinking about it

obsetress: it’s what you deserve

obsetress: i hope you think about it all day with no outlet because that’s definitely what i’ve been doing

em: i have an outlet i’m gonna draw horny art

obsetress: viola like. inviting dani to a meal post breakup for closure or whatever and dani knows better but she does it ANYWAY because part of her still feels..... y’know. there’s always gonna be something there

obsetress: and viola tells her she’s found a therapist and working on herself and dani just like

obsetress: they finish dinner and dani kinda looks at her and she’s like “can i come home with you?” all matter of fact

em: olivia rodrigo voice i guess that therapist i found for you she really helped (now you can be a better woman for your brand new girl)

obsetress: and then like. dani keeps leaving stuff or viola will be like oh i found another thing of yours and the second dani comes in every time they’re both just. all over each other

obsetress: anyway um dani likes it because she doesn’t have to worry about emotionally regulating viola and can grow and be her own person but then finally they’re in bed one night and vi’s like “what if you just... moved back in”

obsetress: and dani’s just like

obsetress: she YEETS

obsetress: and then they don’t talk for however long and live their lives and never see each other again until the video store

em: i love like um. messy constant on and off danvi

em: actually dani maybe you SHOULD stop fucking your ex

obsetress: honestly SAME idk how we didn’t think of this sooner

---

obsetress: also. remembered i came up with a bunch of stuff for kmd in my notes app when i was tryna fall asleep last night so i opened it up and

[Hannah Notes App Transcription:

Danvi exes - dani actually thinks shes v empowered hooking up with her ex lmfao she’s proud of herself for not getting emotionally involved and doing something for her and thinks thats growth fjdndnkdkf]

obsetress: dani after breaking up with viola, on her way to hook up with viola

em: dani is all my mutuals that are constantly rt things about growth and cutting off toxic ppl in her life n putting out good energy

em: like i um agree w the sentiment but ur not gonna catch me rting it

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i love her

obsetress: she's so dumb

em: danis severe astrology phase

em: brief but severe

obsetress: her crystal collection

obsetress: i can't stop thinking about the whole. dani hooking up w vi after theyre broken up

obsetress: literally have not been able to stop thinking about it since

obsetress: ugh

em: drunk em is like

em: i dont know where that came from

em: i am terrified of where that came from

obsetress: just absolutely

obsetress: unhinged and so enlightened all at once

em: i cannot stop thinking abt it

obsetress: cannot! stop!

em: i think if dani isnt gonna necessarily be stuck w eddie for like. 2 decades she can get her fix of dumb bitch elsewhere

----

em: more damie vibecca parallels: phat ass gf and lean (well. scrawny mothefucker jamie taylor) gf

obsetress: jamie why are all the women around me always so hot taylor

dani and rebecca and viola: well, actually, you’re—

jamie: wot

em: a truck or a train or whatever goes past n blares its horn every time someone’s abt to reveal to jamie shes Hot

ok so here it is!! i spent the last week solely making and listening to this playlist like i was POSSESED because this ship is lovely and deserved a nice playlist!  if anyone wants to know why i picked each song, i’m going to ramble about it extensively in the read more, so check that out if you want! hope you enjoy it! also thanks again to @birbwell​ for letting me use her art for the cover!

i divided this playlist in a few sections so let’s start with the first one (section one: first meeting/pining) i. in the rain - joe hisaishi i wanted to start with a short instrumental track to set the mood, and i looooove howl’s moving castle score, so i had to pick this one! the fact that it has rain in the title also helps to reference how their relationship began! ii. with every breath i take - frank sinatra “every breath that I take is a prayer that i’ll make you mine” my sister is a big sinatra/jazz fan (and also a yakuza fan) so she helped me with picking a few of the songs here! this one is very romantic, elegant and beautiful and i thought it fit the mood (and it’s what i think tachibana listens to in his free time lmao).

iii. gold rush - taylor swift “what must it be like to grow up that beautiful? with your hair falling into place like dominoes my mind turns your life into folklore i can't dare to dream about you anymore” this one is my FAVORITE song on this playlist, and one of the first i picked because this song just fits them like a glove. it’s basically pining 101, and i love that what taylor said this song is about “daydreaming about someone then snapping out of it.” i feel like the first part could be from tachibana’s perspective and the second one from kiryu’s (also giving a bit of a glimpse into the future, with the mention of a coastal town they’ll never find together) iv. first love/late spring - mitski “so please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe please don't say you love me mune ga hachikire-sōde (my heart seems like it’s going to burst)” this one was another song i picked very early on because i love mitski, and i needed to include her here. i just wanted something to symbolize the trust that tachibana and kiryu have to share to work together, and the feelings that emerge from it, if that makes any sense. i don’t think this has a specific perspective, because i feel like this could work from both kiryu’s and tachibana’s (mostly kiryu though) v. real estate - adam melchor “every time I wonder how i'd carry on without you i'm runnin' out of real estate tryna make all the right moves i don't wanna hesitate i would bet the house on you “ do you UNDERSTAND how satisfying it was to find a song named real estate for them?? come ooon. ok that’s not all of my reasoning for it but it’s like. most of it, lmao another song i felt was about trust and feelings. (also a bit of a glimpse into the future, because i’m sad) vi. i get a kick out of you - ella fitzgerald “i get no kick from champagne mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all so tell me why should it be true that i get a kick out of you?” another one my sister recommended. i originally was gonna go with sinatra’s version of this, but i love this one and it just wouldn’t leave my brain. again, one from mostly tachibana’s perspective, get this man to sing this on karaoke night right now. vii. like real people do - hozier  “i will not ask you where you came from i would not ask and neither would you honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips we could just kiss like real people do” this is one of my all time favorites from hozier and, again, it just fit perfectly. tachibana and kiryu have both lived some very... troubled lives so far, and while they’re depending on this trust they have in eachother, none of them really care to know about what they’ve done or who they are. this is mostly from kiryu’s perspective, specially with this metaphor of being rescued/dug up from the earth with the whole being found in the rain and saved by tachibana and his poor driving skills. viii. delicate - taylor swift “this ain't for the best my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me... we can't make any promises now, can we, babe? but you can make me a drink” y’all are going to have to forgive me for picking TWO taylor swift songs but COME OOOON this is another one that i picked early on because i could draw so many parallels between the lyrics and things that they both said in that car scene on chapter 9 (mostly tachibana though) and i kept harassing my sister with screenshots to prove my point and i’m gonna do it again

ANYWAYS i’ve made my case, and now we enter the second section of the playlist at last ( section 2: actual romantic/fluffy songs because this is a ship playlist) i. good old-fashioned lover boy - queen “dining at the ritz we'll meet at nine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 o'clock) precisely i will pay the bill, you taste the wine driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely just take me back to yours that will be fine” is this a bit of a cliché? yes. did i want to include it because it’s very cute and i’d like to imagine kiryu and tachibana having a nice date night with no people trying to kill them all the time? also yes. i love this song.

ii. stay with me/mayonaka no door - miki matsuraba “you in your gray jacket with that oh-so-familiar coffee stain just as you always are the two of us reflect in the window display stay with me knocking on midnight's door i beg you not to go home tonight” (translated lyrics) is anyone not obsessed with this song lately? this is the only song here i’m blaming tiktok for making me listen to it lol. in any way, this song is deceptive because it sounds really happy but is actually quite melancholic. i thought it fit their relationship well, and it seemed like a good addition to the playlist with it’s 80′s city pop vibes.

iii. on melancholy hill - gorillaz (covered by matt forbes) “just looking out on the day of another dream where you can't get what you want, but you can get me so let's set out to sea, love 'cause you are my medicine when you're close to me" this is a gorillaz song but i went with this cover because it fit the feeling of the playlist a little better. another song that i just love very deeply and i thought fit the sentiment of kiryu being like “hey i know we have Big problems and you’re very sad in the moment but i’m here for you” iv. (i love you) for sentimental reasons - nat king cole "i think of you every morning dream of you every night darling, i'm never lonely whenever you are in sight" surprisingly, not one that my sister recommended, but one i found for myself while looking for quiet  romantic songs. i feel like this is tachibana's reply to kiryu being there for him and helping him. plus, idk i just wanted to imagine them slow dancing to this. v. positions - ariana grande (covered by travis atreo) "perfect, perfect you're too good to be true but I get tired of runnin', fuck it now, i’m runnin' with you" i picked this cover because i felt like using ariana's one would be a little goofy for this section lmao, but i really like this song and how it's about commitment and doing everything to make a relationship work. i just wanted to throw some sexy vibes before this playlist delved into depressing stuff. also if you telling me tachibana wouldn't absolute body a tiktok set to this song you're lying to yourself. (section 3: oh no this is getting sad) i. forever - labrinth "i'll live forever" i love everything labrinth makes, the euphoria soundtrack lives in my mind rent free and this is my favorite one. this barely has any lyrics so, again, mostly a track i picked for its intrumentals and feeling overall. mostly preparing you for the sad stuff ahead. ii. hong kong - gorillaz "you swallow me i'm a pill on your tongue here on the nineteenth floor the neon lights make me calm" this is my favorite gorillaz song, by FAR, and i think it's introspective vibe really fits tachibana's character. not really a song about relationship but i really wanted to include it because it's just such a GORGEOUS song. iii. fragments - severon another instrumental track! this one i stole from a playlist my sister made for a fic i wrote last year. again. sad vibes. iv. sign of the times - harry styles (covered by LANY) "remember everything will be alright we can meet again somewhere somewhere far away from here" i loved the synth-y vibe this cover had, while still keeping this song's sad "our lives are dangerous and i'm about to die" vibes. i mostly wanted to evoke the vibe from the scene where tachibana agrees to go with lao gui after kiryu gets shot. just really sad all around. v. so close - jon mclaughlin "we're so close to reaching that famous happy end almost believing this one's not pretend let's go on dreaming though we know we are so close, so close, and still so far" me? picking a song from disney's enchanted??? for a playlist??? it's more likely than you think. idk this song just gives me that vibe of being so close to being happy and together, almost reminiscing and wondering what could have been. but it just... won't happen. vi. as the world caves in - matt maltese "yes, it's you i welcome death with as the world, as the world caves in" oops, yes, i had to go there. just couldn't resist including this song, and i feel like it's really self-explanatory. vii. places we won't walk - bruno major "neon lights shine bold and bright buildings grow to dizzy heights people come alive at night in places we won't walk" again, i feel like this song speaks for itself. a bit of a meditation on kiryu's perspective on things that could have happened, things they would have done, that kiryu will just have to do alone from now on. viii. carry me out - mitski "i drive when it rains at night, when it rains, i drive and the headlight spirits they lead me down the styx so black it shines and carry me out carry me out"

possibly the saddest and the most powerful song in this playlist, because i just had to put a mitski song again. the image of kiryu carrying tachibana's body is just constantly in my mind when i listen to this, but i could also see this song being from the perspective of tachibana's spirit. ix. arms tonite - mother mother "i died in your arms tonight i slipped through into the afterlife it was nice" lmao this felt a bit like a cruel joke to include, but i didn't want this playlist to end TOO depressingly. it's a nod to tachibana dying in kiryu's arms, sure, but also it's romantic and possibly a little hopeful (tachibana lives au!!! orpheus and eurydice au!!! fuck it, idk!!)  xi. everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears "there's a room where the light won't find you holding hands while the walls come tumbling down when they do, i'll be right behind you so glad we've almost made it so sad they had to fade it everybody wants to rule the world" not a recommendation from my sister, but it is her favorite song, and she was happy that i included it. another 80's bop with sad lyrics! i feel like this is a lovely summary of their story together and it feels like a nice little bow to wrap up the playlist.  i hope you enjoyed my long ass explanations! i might add songs later (or make an entire second playlist altogether for the fic i'm writing rn, but let's not get ahead of ourselves)

Strangers

Part 1 - Losers (S1E1)

Nathan Young x Reader  Words: 4.4k Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, drugs  Songs:  Strangers - The Kinks  Bad Reputation - Joan Jett 

“So you've been where I've just come From the land that brings losers on”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Masterlist | Ao3

--

    As bad days go, you’re having a pretty horrible one when you arrive at the Wertham Community Center. It’s the first of many to come, part of the court-mandated service that goes along with your ASBO. Your dad keeps telling you that you’re lucky the judge had been so lenient and should be grateful that he’s allowing you to stay with him and your stepmum again– even though you have no one to stay with and nowhere else to go. And he’s your dad. “In the future,” you tell him while getting out of the car, “I think I’ll walk.” 

     Striding through the frosted glass of the front doors, you continue on to the locker rooms to change into the orange jumpsuits you find waiting for you. You choose a locker on the far wall and dump your stuff there. You decide to leave your t-shirt on underneath, zipping the suit up most, but not all, of the way. Finished, you lean back to take a look at your designated companions for the 200 hours to be dispersed across the next few months. One girl has chosen her locker to be in front of the mirror. Her hair is short, curly, and pinned back on the side to form some cute bangs-like fringe. You notice an ankle monitor adorning her lower leg as she strips down to a pink lace pushup bra and panties and steps into her jumpsuit, rolling up the sleeves and bottom cuffs and adding a gold belt around her waist to complete the ensemble. The color of her earrings and bangle bracelets– both large, round, pink, and plastic– match her underwear. She steps back to take a look at herself and smiles. Another girl brushes her hair back into a high and tight ponytail. She looks curvier than the first girl, but just as confident, pairing smoky black eye makeup with shiny, pale pink lip gloss and gold hoop earrings. The guy who’d taken a locker near yours fishes a cigarette out of his pocket and sticks it between his lips. He looks equal parts cute and odd, tall and lanky with a mop unruly, curly hair framing his face. He wears a red and black checkered shirt and an air of swaggering cockiness radiates from him with a pungency usually reserved for uncommonly offensive odors. He smirks at you slyly. The guy with the locker across from the two girls looks vaguely familiar to you. He has two gold chains, one with a cross, and a grey tank top. His jumpsuit is only zipped up halfway, with the arms tied around his waist. He looks remarkably fit, and, not having much of an affinity for sports, you wonder where you recognize him from. The last person you see in the locker room is shadowy and reserved. His hair is short and neatly combed and his jumpsuit is buttoned up all the way to the very last button. He holds a small, black camera phone in his hand and shifts his gaze between people nervously. As you start to file out, one last person stomps in front of you, looking you up and down as he nearly bowls you over. You grimace as he winks. The first thing you notice about him is the immaculate green flat-brimmed baseball cap. You suspect that this hat and others like it are a large part of his personality. Once you’re all together, a man introducing himself as your probation worker, Tony, leads you outside and has you line up against some railing as he gives what you believe is supposed to be a rousing speech. From left to right is Curtis, Gary, Nathan, you, Kelly, Alisha, and Simon. You would learn their names later, but for the purposes of clarity, we’ll start using them now. Tony paces before you, attempting to assume the macho, fear-inducing demeanor of a boot camp officer. “This is it,” he barks. “This is your chance to do something positive. Give something back. You can help people, you can really make a difference to people’s lives. That’s what community service is all about. There are people out there who think you’re scum. You have an opportunity to show them they’re wrong.” He has the tone of someone who has given this speech before and is just barely holding onto their faith in its underlying message. The girl to your left, Kelly, looks mildly offended at the word “scum,” as if Tony had been speaking directly to her. “Yeah, but what if they’re right?” Nathan interrupts on your right. He looks around at the rest of you, “No offense, but I’m thinking some people are just born criminals.” You smile to yourself and try to hold back a chuckle as a look of anger flashes over suspected-douchebag-Gary’s eyes and he bursts out with “Are you looking to get stabbed?” “You see my point there?” Nathan asks, turning back to Tony. A phone rings and Alisha answers with a casual “Hey,” while twirling a curl between her manicured fingers. Tony tries to continue, but he’s becoming increasingly exasperated. “Doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past-” “Doin’ my community service,” Alisha speaks to her phone. “Hey!” He tries and fails to catch her attention. “Boring as fuck,” she continues. It was getting harder not to laugh and you glance at Nathan out of the corner of your eye, amused at the part he had to play in the deterioration of Tony’s speech. “Excuse me!” He tries again. “Hello, I’m still talking here.” “What, I thought you’d finished?” She didn’t care, evidently. “You see my lips still moving, that means I’m still talking.” He tries to assert something akin to authority but clearly doesn’t realize how poorly that approach tends to work on rag-tag groups of rebellious young offenders. “Yeah, but you could have been yawning, or chewing,” Nathan points out facetiously in a drawling tone. Tony ignores him, but you are full-on laughing at this point. “End the call! Hang up!” He shouts at Alisha to no avail. “My probation worker,” she explains to the person on the other line. “You all right there, weird kid?” Nathan leans past you to point at Simon, who stood alone at the far end of your lineup. Tony fumed. “Don’t be disgusting. I’ll call you later.” She finally hangs up, looking over at Nathan, who was approaching Gary and making kissing noises at him. “I’ll rip out your throat and shit down your neck,” Gary snaps back. He looks amusingly short in comparison, you now realize. Curtis grimaces and leans away from the touchy ball of anger standing next to him. “I shouldn’t be here, man.” Kelly gapes at his arrogance as Gary starts to scuffle with Nathan, grabbing at his jumpsuit. “We need to work as a team here. Hey, that’s enough!” Tony takes a few steps forward. “Can I move to a different group? This isn’t going to work for me,” Curtis continues, even though Tony is clearly otherwise engaged. You lean back, nearly bumping into Kelly as she steps to Cutis’ indirect insults. “Um… What makes you think that you’re better than us?” “What is that accent?” Nathan comments, drawn out of his conflict by the way her “us” sounded a lot more like “oss” “Is that for real?” Curtis scoffs, rolling his eyes. “What, are you tryna’ say something or yeah?” She speaks, the latter half her sentence mostly lost due to her lack of enunciation. “Its- you- that’s just a noise! Are we supposed to be able to understand her?” Nathan exclaims. You shake your head and raise your eyebrows at their audacity and Kelly’s incoherence. She sticks her hand out and flips him off, “Do you understand that?” Things escalate again when Nathan puts an arm around a violently unwilling Gary who responds by grabbing him and preparing to punch. “Hey, pack it in!” Tony lunges forward to separate them “It’s love, man!” Nathan yells. You double over, stepping back to get out of the way. Kelly meets your gaze and smirks at the growing scene before you. Alisha laughs, a high-pitched giggle. Tony stood between them now, pulling Gary further and further away from Nathan, who assumed a boxer’s stance and put up his fists comically. “Do it man! Do it! You’re a prick, man, look at you!” Gary calls, trying to push past Tony. “What the fuck are they doin’?” You say to everyone behind you as Kelly looks between you and Alisha. Simon looks like he’d rather be elsewhere, as does Curtis, but for different reasons. Nathan had taken to punch the air, which only served to further aggravate Gary. “You’re a fuckin’ pussy, bruv! He’s takin’ the piss, come here!” Cue the intro music. --     Tony eventually diffuses the conflict between Nathan and Gary and finally leads everyone to some benches by the lake, which you are told to paint white. Paint drips everywhere, from your shoes to the concrete sidewalk, but you hardly care. How different is this from the reason you were here in the first place? You were reprimanded for painting on someone else’s property and were told to instead paint on someone else’s property to pay for it, how is that supposed to work? The only difference is that the first time had been art, and this was largely pointless. They wanted to cover up the graffiti on these benches, but the new paint job would only make future acts of vandalism easier to see. You did it anyway, though, happy to peel off with Nathan and Kelly as Curtis and Alisha and Simon and Gary pair off to the benches on either side of you. You watch as Gary leans down to pick up more paint on his brush, his hat brushing dangerously close to the fresh paint before it finally touches, leaving a stark white smear on the brim. You poke Nathan’s shoulder and point as Gary notices, ripping off his hat in horror and stomping off in a huff, kicking a bucket of paint into the lake and leaving behind a violent burst of white. “Oh, man! There’s paint on my cap, this is bullshit!” “Ooh!” Alisha whistles as he walks past. Everyone turns and stares as he struggles with a shopping cart that’s in his way, kicking it at first before trying and failing to shove it into the lake as well when it simply falls in front of him, still blocking the path. “I know you,” you hear Alisha say to Curtis, perking up due to your own curiosity. “No, you don’t,” he brushes her off. “Yes, I do,” She continues, unphased. “You’re that runner guy. You screwed up big time.” That’s it. You’d seen him years ago at your secondary school’s track meets and races, and later in the news for his accomplishments and subsequent arrest. “You noticed, yeah? Thanks for reminding me.” He grew increasingly annoyed, and it was abundantly clear. Overhearing, Nathan glances up at Kelly and tries to strike up a conversation, “So I’m guessing shoplifting?” She ignores him. “No?” He was about to speak again when she cuts him off, “Don’t act like you know me, ‘cuz you don’t.” “I’m just makin’ conversation!” He motions to you and Kelly, “This is a chance to network with other young offenders. We should be swapping tips. Brainstorming!” He looks at you to continue, but you stay silent, also curious about Kelly’s infraction. You shrug and he looks back at her. “Come on, what did you do?” “This girl called me a slag so I just got into a fight,” she admits, slapping her paintbrush to the bench in annoyance. “Was this on the Jeremy Kyle show?” He jokes. “No, it was at Argos.” “Argos?” you ask, finding the store an odd place to get into fights. “You know what you should’ve done? You should have got one of them little pens and jabbed it in her eye.” He was referring to the pens for filling out the catalog cards at Argos and you smirk at the image, but Kelly just stares at him incredulously. It’s an odd thing to say to someone you barely knew. He turns to look at you, “And you? I need to know what we’re workin’ with here.” “Ah…” You glance between Nathan and Kelly before continuing, “Graffiti, mostly, and throwing a party that bugged my neighbors, breaking the peace.” You had broken the law, technically, but it was nothing compared to punching someone and getting into a fight in the middle of Argos. He raises his eyebrows curiously, “Is there a story behind it or was it just mindless vandalism?” “It was on the wall of my apartment, my landlord saw it when he went to break up a party that my friends were throwing and he said he’d report me.” “Oh, what a wanker!” Nathan exclaims. “The worst part is I lost the apartment and now I’ve gotta live with my dad and stepmum again and it’s a living nightmare.” You don’t want to exaggerate or sound like too much of a cliche, but your stepmother is one of the meanest people you have ever encountered. You could understand it to some extent, as she has two young children and you aren’t the greatest of influences. You call these siblings stepfuck and stepcunt respectively, case in point. “Well, I can sympathize with that. But at least yours is a stepmum, they’re, like, inherently kinda hot, amirite?” You glare at him and begin to understand some of Kelly’s annoyance. He redirects, turning his attention to Simon, who is now painting his bench all alone after Gary’s outburst. “What about you, weird kid? Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but you look like a panty-sniffer.” He holds his hands up beside his face, mocking a disgusting sniff of some invisible panties. “I’m not a panty-sniffer,” he responds. “I’m not a pervert.” He tries to return to painting the bench, but Nathan begins walking towards him, pretending to jack off with his paintbrush still in his hand, grunting disgustingly. You sigh and roll your eyes, glancing at Kelly. He could be funny, sure, but you were quickly learning about his tendency to take things too far. Kelly shrugs at you. “I tried to burn someone’s house down,” Simon blurts out to get Nathan to stop. Everyone who’d heard snapped to attention, as arson seems considerably more serious than vandalism or a few punches. “Fire?” Nathan laughs and walks back. Kelly looks up at him, “What did you do?” You were still curious about the fire and arson, but you let the conversation move on regardless. “Me? I was done for eatin’ some pick ‘n’ mix.” “Yeah, right,” you scoff. “Bollocks,” Kelly agrees. “What is goin’ on with this weather,” Nathan muses, distracted, as thunder rolls down from overhead and you quickly noticed the growing dark storm clouds in the sky just across the lake. Huh, odd. That hadn’t been there just a few minutes ago. “How did that happen?” you hear behind you, looking around to see Tony returning, an angry look instantly plastered to his face. He points to the overturned paint can, part of Gary’s carnage, and holds his arms up in exasperation. “I mean, you’ve been here five minutes. It’s painting benches. How’d you screw that up? You tell me, because I’ve got no idea.” From out of nowhere, a giant white ball of something smashes down on the car behind Tony, completely caving in the roof and sending the car alarm blaring. Shocked, you jump back and duck amid the various screams and cries of “What the hell was that?” and “Oh, Jesus!” Nathan’s smug grin immediately falls and transforms into fear and wonderment. Alisha shrieks, crying out in a warbling tone, “What’s goin’ on?” Tony turns around slowly in disbelief and gasps, “That’s my car!” “Oh, fuck,” you mutter under your breath. But Nathan isn’t taking it as seriously. “Classic,” he chuckles, thinking it to be some sort of prank. But then another thing falls from the sky into the lake behind you, whizzing past your heads and spraying you, Nathan, and Kelly in an onslaught of lake-water. “Okay, so I’m a little bit freaked out!” he admits. “No fucking shit!” you agree. “What is that?” Alisha asks, turning your attention to the storm Nathan had pointed out just moments ago. It had grown, somehow, turning dark and dangerous as it travels at an unnervingly fast pace towards your group. Simon holds his phone up to film the storm and its effects just as another ball crashes into the dumpster beside him, knocking over the heavy, metal container and spewing ice at him as he ducks and runs from it. More and more ice falls from the sky, huge blocks larger than your head, and you don’t want to think of what could happen if one of them hit you. “Right, let’s get everyone inside,” Tony instructs as more and more of them fall all around you. “Move! Move! Run!” You sprint back to the community center at top speed, holding your head as ice shards rain down on you, pelting and stinging your face and arms. Your heart practically beats out of your chest. One ball of ice pummels into the sidewalk in front of you, breaking a concrete tile. Another falls into a phonebooth, and the glass shatters to the ground around your feet. The storm seems to get thicker as you near the center, and your hair is plastered to your face from the mixture of sweat and water that you were drenched in. You could barely hear Tony yell “Keep going!” over the crashes and booms that fill your ears as you run for your life. Curtis reaches the door first, pulling on the handles and banging on the glass before stepping back and yelling over the din to Tony, “It’s locked! Open it!” Tony groans, “Come on…” and fumbles with the keys. You throw yourself against the wall, as far away as possible from the mega hail storm, and scream, “Just fuckin’ unlock it!” “What is happening?” Kelly shrieks as another massive ball of ice falls onto the pavement beside her. “Open the door, come on!” Nathan yells as Tony grows increasingly frustrated. “I’m finding the right key!” he bellows back “Open the door!” Curtis yells again, and Alisha agreed. “Open the fucking door!” Tony whips around in a burst of anger, “Don’t speak to me like that!” You were about to berate him for his poor priorities when a bright white burst of cold lightning cracks in front of you and sends you flying backward in a chorus of screams. Time slows as you fly through the air and the electricity transforms from a chilling shock to a burning flare, searing and snaking through you as you soar and tumble backward onto the hard pavement. You hit the ground with a sickening thud, from which groans and cries of pain follow. A few remaining snowballs hit the ground around you, but the storm appears to have passed. “I feel really weird,” you hear Kelly say. Your vision is still black, which has you worried until you realize it’s only because your eyes are still closed. You open them and sit up, rubbing the back of your head, which is still screaming in pain. “That’ll be the lightning,” Curtis says to try and explain what just happened. “We should be dead,” Simon points out. “Well, that’s comforting,” you snap back. “A little reassurance might be nice, you know,” Nathan agrees, instead directing his comment to Tony, who is sprawled before the door of the center and has just started to sit up. “‘You’re fine!’ ‘Looking good!’” he elaborates. “Wanker…” Tony groans, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Did he just call me a wanker?” Nathan asks, indignantly glancing at you and everyone else. He snaps his fingers at Tony, “Hey? Hello?” You see a quick look of anger flash across Tony’s face before he grumbles, “Is everyone alright?” “We could have died, you dick,” Alisha adds. “Are you alright?” Kelly asks tentatively as Tony shakes his head and coughs out a growl. “You’re actin’ like a freak.” He ignores her, “Maybe we should call it a day.” --     Tony finally manages to unlock the door, and you return to the locker rooms to gather your things. You feel like you should be annoyed, leaving early only means you’ll have to spend another day here, but you are too exhausted to feel anything. That was probably the closest you’d ever been to death. You can still feel your heart beating, a deep, steady drumbeat, and your lungs ache from the running and adrenaline. Beside you, Nathan closes his locker and leans against it before turning to you, “Do you think we’ll stick together now, bonded by our shared experiences?” “Dunno. I’d rather spend as little time here as possible,” you explain, closing your locker and stepping away to put on your hoodie. “Oh, you’re one of those types, are you?” Nathan smiles. “What type?” You glare at him. “The I’m-too-cool-for-this type.” “No, that’s Curtis,” you quip, knowing that he’d already left the room. “I just happen to not like community service.” Or any of these morons, all the other girls are total slags. “Hey!” Kelly snaps, swinging around to glare at you suddenly. “Oookay?” You turn away awkwardly and leave, you can’t imagine anything you’d said having offended her. Maybe she just really loves community service or something, but that is decidedly not the impression you’ve gotten from her so far. You walk out to the waiting area by the vending machines, where you find Curtis and Simon standing around in heavy silence. Nathan follows after you moments later. “Do we just go, then?” Curtis asks, clearly annoyed. “Where’s the probation worker?” “I think there’s something wrong with him,” Simon speaks up. “It’s like he was having a spasm.” “He was probably just faking it, trying to get some compensation. Cheap bastard,” Nathan scoffs. “I don’t think he was faking it,” Simon insists, looking back down at his phone. “And you know all about being… mental.” Nathan takes a few steps forward as he talks, leering at Simon and lowering his voice. Then he pretends to convulse and yells “Wanker!” You punch him in the shoulder. “Ow, what the hell was that for?” He sticks his head out at you almost comically. You stick your head out back at him. “Stop being such a prick, he might have a point.” Alisha walks in, already looking bored. “Are we waiting for something?” “Probation worker,” Curtis explains. She scrunches up her face in disgust. “I’m not hanging around for that dickhead.” She turns on her heel and leaves, which everyone else seems to take as their cue to leave as well. You can’t be bothered to be the only one waiting around, so you follow suit. Once outside, everyone pretty much goes their separate ways. Nathan, however, trots after you. “What’re you doin’?” You ask. “Thought you looked a little lonely, and, well, I’d like to recommend my own company as recompense.” He motions to himself like he’s all that, which honestly has you snorting to hold back your laughter. “You can’t be serious.” You raise your eyebrows. “Fine, I happen to live along this way, alright? I’m Nathan, by the way.” “Y/n.” You smile at him. “And I’ll have you know that to date, I haven’t had a single complaint.” He says it like you should be impressed or something. “Can’t have complaints if you haven’t been with anybody,” you joke, smirking. His jaw drops in mock surprise, “Oy! I have, too!” He keeps trying to impress upon you the depth of his sexual prowess, offering many stories as proof, all of which have you in stitches. He peels off when you were about halfway home. You say your goodbyes and wave as he walks away, grateful for the company. A few houses down from your own, though, you stop walking, contemplating what to do next. Home doesn’t seem like a particularly fun place to be right now, but it’s not like you have anywhere else to go. It’s still the early afternoon, so it would probably be only your stepmum at home, with your dad at work and your step siblings at school. It’s practically a worst-case scenario, as you doubt she would believe that they let you go early. You wish this day had gone differently. As you’re musing and trying to work up the courage to walk the thirty or so meters left to your front door, the skies begin to darken. You look up to see if a cloud had rolled in overhead, not exactly trusting the weather as of late, but as soon as you do so, it disappears and the sky goes back to normal. You think nothing of it, which is probably a poor choice on your part, but you are too burned out to care. You finally reach the front door, closing it gingerly behind you, but to no avail. “Y/n? Is that you?” You hear from the other room. “Yup.” You stand in the doorway to the kitchen, knowing you need to address this, but desperately wanting to leave. “They let us go early today.” She eyes you quizzically, “Really?” Now here’s the thing, the truth isn’t even remotely believable– There was a freak hail storm and everyone in our group got hit by lightning or something but now we’re all okay and our probation officer did too, he let us go early and then disappeared– so you have to lie. “Yeah, ‘cuz it’s the first day. They mostly showed us the ropes, got us started on something, and then let us go.” You wait, holding your breath. “Oh.” She looks disappointed. “I thought you’d be out today.” “Yeah, well I did, too,” you mumble as you walk away, not really caring whether or not she heard. “What’d you say?!” she calls after you. “Nothing!” you yell back as you walk as quickly as possible to your room. Once inside, you sigh and collapse onto your bed. You feel like a teenager again and it’s horrible, being forced to be somewhere where you’re treated like immature crap every day, living at home again, constantly having a row with your stepmum. You hope, but doubt, that the next day will be better.

l Next Lifetime l Erik Killmonger l

previous chapters: l part 1 l

erik kilmonger x reader

warnings: none, but the usual 18+ for the eventual smut and a possible tw for grief but i promise it gets better and its a romcomsynopsis: reader grieves Erik until she doesn’t (i’m trying not give too much away). I really want to make it a series that i actually keep up with (sorry Girls Trip readers) because I have up to part 4 written. alright thats all i hope yall vibe with it. 

l part 2 l

“Yeah I do, I think that like if we want. We can come back as someone else or like maybe when we love someone really strongly and we have like soul ties we can come back to them in another life. But that’s just me. We could just be hitting the cha cha slide next to Father J.C.” Iridia explains and Tika shakes her head while laughing at her. 

“Personally, I don’t think so. I believe once our life Earthside is done we return to the cosmos to be a part of the stars that light up the night sky on our loved ones darkest nights. But why are we talking about this on your birthday? We are very much alive with much to celebrate miss thang. I’m ready to go!” Tika says to you as she grabs the car keys. 

“So I met someone while I was at the store and he invited all of us to a party at the Roller Rink but I gotta let you know it’s like crazy how eerily similar he looks to Erik.” you say to them and they both give each other a look before looking back at you.

“OH! Don’t give me that look! I know y’all probably think I’m losing it, but you know what they say everybody got a doppelganger somewhere. Anyways, I know it’s not exactly on our itinerary but I wanna go if y’all are down?” you ask them and they give a worried look before nodding and agreeing. 

“Hell yeah we’re in. I haven’t been to a skating rink since like 10th, maybe 11th grade? This should be fun to see if I got it or if I’m gonna buss my ass.” Tika says laughing.

The rest of the day was pretty easy breezy but you could not get over seeing him. Who’s possibly not him? In front of you. Happy and laughing and present. 

You tried to shake off the thoughts and feelings during brunch with your girls and for the rest of the day enjoying the street festival and winning a giant stuffed giraffe. Between the 3 of you, you won enough stuffed animals to fill the entire backseat of your car and eventually left the festival with a caricature drawing of the 3 of you.

Before you knew it, it was 6:40 and you and your girls were back at the beach house getting ready for the party. 

You searched around your suitcase for the outfits that Iridia had packed for you and settled on. 

You gave yourself a once over in the mirror and fluffed your fro a little before re-applying your lip gloss. 

“GIRL, YOU LOOK SO GOOD. What is going on?  You tryna get chose?” Tika asks standing in the doorway as she smiles at you with her ipod in one hand and a freeze-able daiquiri pouch in the other. 

You laugh as Tika glides around the room shaking her hips to the beat and doing a little roll as she saunters over to you to help you clasp your shirt in the back.

It’s safe to say that you haven’t been exactly up to your fashionably self for the past few months but Iri giving you options with the different pieces of clothing  that she bought you had you feeling like yourself again.

“Damn, I’m good.” Iri says while giving you a twirl and takes selfies with you and Tika.

You purse your lips and give your best smize towards her phone as she snaps a photo of you and for a moment things feel like they used to. 

“Just wanted to feel cute for once. I love this top and girl it got my titties SIT-TING.” you reply giggling and childishly nudging your girls before asking if they’re ready to go. 

You put the address into the gps and you were off on your way.You tried turning up the radio to drown out how loud your thoughts were going and in a million different directions.

 About 20 minutes later. You look out the window once arriving at the skating rink to see cars already filling the entire parking lot and you could see people laughing while holding onto each other as they skated their way inside. 

The music is already blaring and you could definitely tell that “Daka”’s friend is a party planner. The venue had some sort of projector or something set up so that the entire room seemed like it changed “worlds” with each song. There were multiple food stations, and a live DJ playing everything from 90s R&B to New Orleans bounce music and everything in between.

You and your girls quickly grabbed a pair of skates and looked around for N’Jadaka and sure enough within a few minutes he was grooving his way over to you this time dressed in a slightly opened printed shirt and light washed jeans. 

He skated around you with a big ass smile on his face. His golds were gleaming under the lights as it bounced off of the diamonds engrained in it. “YOU MADE IT! How y’all doing?” he asks your girls and they stand there gasping with their mouths wide open. 

“I mean he could be his goddamn identical twin. You were not lying! The only thing he’s missing are the scars and his dreads. God damn.” Tika was the first to speak before Iri introduced herself.

“Hey, Happy Birthday, I’m Iri. This is Tika’s rude self and you already met our boo.” Iri says pulling him in for a quick hug. 

“ I’m sorry, excuse us, you just look exactly like somebody we knew. Happy Birthday! It was his birthday too. It’s wild how people really do be having doppelgangers. Alright, so I’m gonna go try not to break my damn leg. Knowing I gotta go to work on Monday. Come on.” Tika says taking Iri by the hand and making her way onto the rink with her to give you and him some time alone. 

You shift your weight trying to keep yourself steady as you sway to music , knowing that he’s eyeing you up and down.

“Man must’ve been a hell of a person. I’m glad you came though. I didn’t think Orleans was gonna do all of this.” he says laughing and you can’t control the butterflies feelings like they were fluttering around your stomach. That’s his laugh.

“He was. To me at least, he was. Of course, I mean I haven’t been to a roller rink in forever and I really needed some time to just know what it’s like to be carefree again.” you admit and he nods along listening to your words.

He decided to save his comment on “he was” for later. Hoping that there would be a later for the two of you and opted for taking your hand in his and leading you onto the rink .

“Well, in that case. Show me what you got and forget about everything else for a minute.” he offers and you accept  his offer and shakily make your way onto the rink like bambi trying to walk for the first time. 

“Okay, so I’ll admit. I don’t actually know how to skate. I don’t why I thought this was a good idea.” you manage to stand for all of 10 seconds before tripping over onto him and he turns towards the DJ talking into the mic and signals for him to slow the music down.

“I got you.” he says and “Always Be My Baby” starts to play softly in the background as the “world” changes to a starry night. 

You look up at him for a moment and nod before leaning into him. As you rest your head on his shoulder he begins to skate you left to right gently swaying you to the beat of the song as his hand rests respectfully on the small of your back almost instinctively. It took everything in you not to start tearing up again.

This was your song . He always promised that you’d be a part of him no matter what happens in life. You were always going to be his baby. 

All the couples were paired off and you looked around at Iri holding onto Tika and smiled knowing that they’ve never acknowledged their feelings for each other but it was clear as day to anyone else. 

He swayed you and held you against him while his thumb stroked your back gently and you closed your eyes trying to soak up your time with him. 

You don’t know how it happened or if this was one long drawn out delusion or what exactly was going on in the moment, but all you knew was that you were able to feel the warmth of your E in your arms again and his scent evading all of your senses. 

In this moment he was smiling and content and at peace, not being shipped back to you with claw marks in his chest and bruises all over him. He was here with even slow breaths and enjoying himself. 

You knew that he felt it too because as the song ended you opened your eyes to find him looking down at you with this look of confusion and adulation on his face. 

You run your fingers over his cheek and clear your throat and recoil your hand back by your side. 

“I think your friends are calling for you.” you say to him playfully as the men and one woman around your age skate over to him and around the two of you, asking you a bunch of questions at once.

E- N’Jadaka let’s go of you to turn to them and introduce them to you .

“This is Orleans big head ass, Khalil , Pen, Lina, and Big Mike.” he says and they say hey and ask you if you are from around the area and you talk back and forth. 

The conversation between you and his little group was so easygoing. It didn’t feel forced or awkward as he stood beaming from you to them.

“I've been there once or twice. I really liked the Hottentot Saartjie/ Sarah Baartman piece about the dehumanization and caricaturization of black women, especially darker skin women, then and now. It was both interesting and heartbreaking. It’s the reason why I do what I do now. I create safe spaces for black girls and women of all ages. It’s my greatest accomplishment and something I’m most proud of.” you answer Mike’s question about the new black art exhibit downtown.

Mike looks at you and shakes his head in wonder and amusement.

“Daka, with all due respect bruh. I gotta ask her to marry me. Or you need to let me know what aisle that was you met her because I’mma swing by your parents' store tonight. I think we might be out of bread or something.” Big Mike says before complimenting you on your outfit and Lina joined in by asking if you’d like to check out a new record store with her on Tuesday.  

Next thing you knew your girls skated next to you to see what was going on. Tika introduced herself to the group and Iridia followed through.

“Hey I heard something about a record store because I could use some new ones. I think our neighbors are tired of me playing Otis Redding every night for the last few weeks. Keep asking me if I had a breakup every time I see her. Bless her nosey heart , Mrs. Pepper.” Iridia says talking animatedly and as gesticulatively as she always does and his small group of friends as everyone does seems completely enamored by her. 

“Of course, yeah, why don’t you come too? And Mrs. Pepper just doesn't know good music but I may be biased because Cigarettes and Coffee is my favourite song. Hold that thought. My mouth is dry as hell from all that skating around, be right back-” Lina says before skating away for refreshments and the rest of the group talks amongst each other.

Other friends of N’Jadaka come up at random times to hug him, get photos, or say happy birthday.

“You want some?” Lina asks Erik as she returns  to the group with a cupcake in her hand as she peeled the wrapper off and offered Erik a piece of the chocolate dessert. She reached out her hand towards his mouth and you looked from her to him and then at the cupcake which looked like it had walnuts in it. You push the piece away from his mouth and she looks at you puzzled. 

“What’s up with you?” he asks looking confused 

“Chocolate walnut cupcake.” you say simply not realizing that you were supposed to have just met him this morning .

“I- I mean just a lucky guess you know most people have nut allergies and shit.” you try to cover your tracks and he let out a sigh before laughing and nodding.

“You right too. Damn I was gon be out here looking like Will Smith when he ate that shellfish in Hitch for the rest of the function. I’m allergic to nuts. Good looking out ma.” he says and you nod at him before telling him to go skate with his friends you’d meet up later.

As you part ways your friends have about 3000 questions each. Iri believing that that definitely has to be Erik and Tika believing that you both had lost your natural born ass minds. 

You all settle on how wild it is that he looked like Erik and left it there. You enjoyed the rest of your night swag surfing with a room full of new friends and your old forever friends and just fully enjoying your birthday. 

“WE LIKE TO PAARTTAAYYY. AYYYYEEE AYYYYYEEE.” you sung out loud at the top of your lungs with everyone else and Beyonce. 

Somehow you end up twerking on Lina and having a good laugh as the drinks flow through your system.

You glance over at N’Jadaka being circled by some of his guests and he breaks the circle to grab your hand and lead you to the middle of it with him. 

“MY BIRTHDAY TWIN!” he shouts over the music to his guests and you shake your head telling him that he doesn’t really have to share his spotlight with you.

“Ain’t no problem.” he responds and you watch as everybody starts to skate a circle around you and Erik and y’all both laugh and pose for pictures while people sing Happy Birthday the Stevie Wonder version.

 His friends and yours all took turns to skate up to pin money on you both. 

You cheer and clap along to the music as you sing Happy Birthday to him and he sings it back to you. 

Before you know it you're both smiling at each other and getting swept up into a soft gentle kiss that feels like electricity is pulsing between the two of you.

As you close your eyes you can get a glimpse of kissing him before he left for Wakanda. The way he pressed his forehead against yours , the way your hands rested against his beating heart, and the way that his soft plumps felt against yours.

You knew that he felt it too because when you  broke the kiss with a tug of his bottom lip he was staring down at you once again with a puzzled expression.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I just-” you explain before exiting the circle and making your way out of the skating rink.

You quickly take off the shows and put your regular shoes back on as you stand outside for a moment to get some fresh air and gather yourself.

"Why is this happening? How is this happening? People don't just get to come back. This is insane. This is insane."

It didn’t take long at all before Erik was smoothly grooving his way out of the door not once spilling his drink.

“You know ma, I’mma lot of things. But I know for sure stupid ain’t one of them.” he says swaying his shoulders to the music before he stops and stands in front of you.

“You know something, don’t you? How do we really know each other?” he asks slowly 

“I don’t. We met in Aloha Oakland for the first time. I feel so connected to you and believe that we have chemistry because you remind me of my ex. He passed away nearly a year ago and I didnt wanna tell you that right off the bat because the shit’s weird. “Hey, sorry I passed out ,  you cute but you remind me of my dead ex. So yeah, have a good day”.” you explain and he nods deciding once again to not press the issue. 

"I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is never an easy thing to go through. I feel I experienced so much of that so early I didn't know anything else besides death. I was told that my birth parents were both murdered. But my parents taught me through all that rot and decay of the heart something beautiful can still grow. They taught me how to live. That there is more to life is more than just surviving day to day out of spite and anger." He speaks slowly like he's really pondering the words that he wants to say before continuing. 

"It's kinda my fault. I feel like I was a lil too forward with all of this. My friends and the way that they party can be overwhelming. I'd like to make it up to you if you up for it. Just me and you. Maybe like a coffee or something quieter than this. I want to get to know you. Even though I know it's gonna sound corny as hell, I can't help feeling like I already do. You passing out by them discount cakes wasn't an accident at all, I think it was fate." he says and you look up at him before nodding. 

“I think so too.”

How would you sort the cast from Miraculous Ladybug ?

(I was gonna hold off on posting this until I was absolutely certain about the sorting, because sorting this show is like pulling teeth. But then last night I had a dream about Lila trying to ruin Marinette’s birthday with the usual lesbian subtext you would expect from two girls who hate each other and when I woke I had this second ask in my inbox so I figure the universe is tryna tell me something)

This is a hard one. There are some things we have to consider with Miraculous Ladybug. (warning this gets long)

1. It’s inconsistent with its characters on a good day. 

2. The creators are very much pushing an unhealthy-keep the peace and be nice to everyone including bullies and toxic people because they are people to-Badger primary narrative.

3. While it’s not unhealthy like the primary, the show also pushes a Badger secondary narrative. They like their Badger secondaries and what show wants to teach is that Pure Badgers are the best sorting possible. 

So it becomes hard to see what is an actual character moment, and what’s the creators using a character as a mouthpiece. Marinette gets fucked over by this because the show deliberately has her do things wrong so they can enforce lessons. This is especially hard with Adrien because he is the show’s golden boy favorite which means he does everything right and almost always spouts out the lesson of the day. It’s safe to say that if Marinette and Adrien aren’t already Badgers they have badger primary models. Adrien because showrunners, Marinette because Adrien’s peddling it to her.

(I wanna make it very clear that I’m not insulting Badger primaries in this post, but unhealthy Badger primaries where bad people get away with bad things just because they are people)

So MARINETTE DUPAIN-CHENG/LADYBUG...I think she’s a burnt Bird. She can’t be naturally a Badger because she has to constantly be told by people to act like a Badger. Give Chloe a million chances even if she bullied you for years and is horrible to everyone around her and has no desire to change. Don’t expose Lila for being a liar who gives out false promises and also wants to destroy Ladybug and teams up with Hawkmoth. 

It also explains her unhealthy Snake primary she has for Adrien. A lot of the time her motivation, her why, will be because Adrien! Why does she get Adrien to come with them on the trip to New York? Because if not he’ll be left alone with Lila and she’s jealous! And also I guess because Adrien should get to do fun things. Why did she choose Adrien to be Aspik? Because she’s in love with him and he’s perfect! But that’s not her, it doesn’t work for her. Part of that is the world telling her if she ever tries to pursue Adrien it’ll backfire in her face, but also it’s not natural for her. She fell for Adrien and because her primary is burnt she placed meaning in him, building a Snake primary for him-and then a drowned Badger primary model once he started lecturing her about it. 

And yes I do think her Badger primary model is drowned. She gives her all to everything, and is always convinced that doing anything seemingly selfish is bad (which is weird because the narrative also has Alya constantly trying to convince her to be selfish and date Adrien). She won’t let herself confess to Adrien because that will literally lead to the end of the world. She also gives up trying to pursue Adrien because she wants him to be happy with Kagami. She gives up a job opportunity to help save Paris (which was the right choice but doesn’t disprove my point). She is told by Mme. Bustier that she has to be an example and that she has to stay calm and keep the peace and give everything for other people. She is slowly over the series starting to drown. 

Now admittedly she could be a burnt Lion originally, we don’t ever see her before her burning. But, the reason why I say Bird is because she seems more eager for people to tell her what is right and what is wrong. What is true? Burnt Lions, I can say from experience, don’t like as much to be told what is right and wrong. They want to know of course, but there will be a part of them that is unhappy and when they are told by other people they’ll be more sad about it if it doesn’t gel with their gut. It’ll just be another reason why they’re wrong and they’ll stay burnt longer. On the other hand, Marinette is eager to be told what is true from people, she wants to know and when people tell her she takes it in and immediately follows it. I say she’s a burnt bird because she doesn’t trust herself to make the right decision unless it’s black and white, akuma v. hero. The snap judgements she makes are because she’s burnt and therefore she flounders when unable to ask what she should do and just does because if she thinks she’ll come to the wrong decision. So impulsive decision time. (Miraculous Ladybug is a really depressing show if you think of Marinette as a real person)

Or she’s a burnt Lion and I just went on a tangent for no reason. 

 Now you’d think think that sorting out her secondary would be easier, but NO. The only thing easy about her secondary is that she is definitely not a Lion secondary. 

Now she definitely has a two models. One of her models is a Badger obviously. She takes on projects and works herself to death. She also takes on a caring role usually and works as a leader. She manages to charm people almost instantly and then she has them on her side for basically forever. I only say this is a model because her plans never really include other people or calling in favors. 

But now I have to decided if she is a rapid fire Bird or a Snake originally and which one is her model. I wanna say that she’s a Snake originally. Her plans are usually incredibly under the fly. She’ll just look around the area, see what she has to work with, and then immediately have the plan. It’s not usually based off of prior knowledge (although that happens a fair amount to). She also does things like steal phones and bicycles a fair amount (classic Snake traits) and has on more than one occasion lied her way out of a situation. 

Now her Bird model is not unimportant. I say she isn’t originally a bird because she never has a back up plan. Plan A fails and she has to freak out for a bit before she makes a new plan on the fly. Her bird model is something she used to play with before she became a hero I think. She gained many skills in the art world-especially fashion-, baking, gaming, etc. just for the fun of it. Then she became a hero and used that planning skill to good work. How do I defeat the akuma and convince Chat Noir that I’m not Marinette? Obviously I’ll shrink myself down into many versions of me wearing all the miraculouses so I can climb in the kwamis’ mouths, take Chat Noir’s ring from him, get sucked into the kwami pack so I can break it from the inside with the Cat miraculous, then I’ll make an illusion of me as Ladybug getting the akuma and me as Multimouse taking off my miraculous because I’m just such a goof and then when Chat leaves I’ll capture the real akuma and transform back. 

Compare that to Chat’s plan of, say the school is a elementary school. 

But honestly it could go either way.

Adrien is much easier to sort compared to Marinette’s spastic characterization.

ADRIEN AGRESTE/CHAT NOIR has a strong Badger primary model, which is hilarious because he sucks at it. The boy is actually a Snake primary just like his father (he ALSO has an unhealthy primary but we’ll get to that). Lila lying to his class-his community-and giving them empty promises? He doesn’t care, he wants to keep the peace! He’s gonna be nice to her and try to sway her the side of good from the sidelines-wait what’s this? Lila made his friend Kagami jealous which caused her to be akumatized and also tried to get Ladybug killed? What an outrage! He’s not gonna try to be friends with her anymore! Wait, Lila got Marinette expelled through bullshit?! How dare she! Now he’s going to force her to take it all back so Marinette can be happy!

He doesn’t get upset when his community is threatened, he only gets mad when his people are threatened. In Chat Blanc he is forced to choose between killing his father or killing Ladybug (who is his girlfriend because it’s another timeline), which is a classic Snake problem. Chat doesn’t think about how if he kills his father instead he’ll save all of Paris, he just can’t decide and ends up destroying the world with his indecision. “Our love [destroyed the world]” he says to Ladybug. That’s very Snake primary and seems to me like an unhealthy Snake primary. His dream is to move away to an island alone with Ladybug, which says something about the differences between them. Marinette’s dream is have a large family with Adrien. 

His secondary is harder because I can’t tell if he has a Badger secondary or a Lion secondary. The thing is the way the shows treats the different identities is that Ladybug and Adrien are the masks for Marinette and Chat (I did not do this for Marinette though). That means that a more accurate reading for Adrien’s sorting should theoretically be looking at Chat. Chat definitely has a Lion secondary. His first instinct is always attack first attack attack attack. Most of the time the reason the battle drags on is because Chat is jumping in too soon. When he doesn’t jump in it’s because he’s pissed at Ladybug for rejecting him. Also, the one time we see him do a plan, the plan is dress up in a makeshift suit and attack the enemy. 

But he definitely has a Badger secondary model. How will he make Lila stop antagonizing Marinette? He’ll act like he’s her friend and let her model with him. How does he try to impress his father, by taking a bunch of classes and modelling for him. It’s a model though, one I think he built after his mother “disappeared” to try and cheer up his father. 

I know you probably wanted more so rapid fire:

ALYA CESAIRE is a Lion primary who makes impulsive decisions and only doesn’t when the plot needs her to. She’s got an immature Bird secondary as well, immature as in she gains a piece of information and her Lion primary then makes her go crazy over it. 

CHLOE BOURGEOIS is snake primary who cares about herself and those closest to her until she doesn’t, and a Lion secondary who charges in because she’s stupid with a shitty Snake secondary model she adopted from her parents.

GABRIEL AGRESTE/HAWKMOTH is a Snake primary who cares only about his wife, sometimes Natalie, and sometimes Adrien. Also a Bird secondary who makes big elaborate plans that always fail.

NATALIE SANCOEUR/MAYURA is a Snake primary who does things for Adrien and Gabriel because she loves them, and another Bird secondary who has a very nice skillset and and helps Gabriel with his plans. She does also have a Badger secondary because she works very hard and uses herself as a weapon, but it’s not her go to. 

(yes I know I didn’t sort Nino or Lila, but Nino is practically a non-character and Lila might have a Lion primary and I don’t wanna have to put much more thought into this post. Maybe later)

so...

Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug - Burnt Bird primary (maybe burnt Lion) with a drowned Badger model and an unhealthy Snake model for Adrien/Snake secondary with a Bird model (possibly switched) and a (possibly unhealthy) Badger model

Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir - Snake primary/Lion Secondary, double Badger model

Alya Cesaire - Lion primary/immature Bird secondary

Gabriel Agreste/Hawkmoth - Snake primary/Bird secondary

Natalie Sancoeur/Mayura - Snake primary/Bird secondary, Badger secondary model

Chloe Bourgeois - Snake primary/Lion secondary

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

October 3, 2021

I suppose I can understand why the theatre teacher would want to restrict people in shows to only those in theatre classes from the same perspective as to why my band director who was new sophomore year restricted the marching band to people in band classes only (I promise I’m not going to dwell on this anymore, it’s just that I put a lot of time into that stinkin extracurricular and it meant a lot to me okay).  That way you have more direct contact with the people in the group and can do rehearsal-related things in class.  That makes sense.  And like, Broadway/professional/university shows and stuff tend not to have particularly large ensembles anyway, and the ensembles do a lot.  And when the director was a math teacher who couldn’t really do theatre-related stuff at all during class, well it wouldn’t matter who auditioned and whether they knew him or not.  Which, honestly, was fantastic for me.

But like, no more dancers singing Jingle Bell Rock at their auditions (actually that practice of choosing your own song was ended my senior year by the theatre teacher who was fired or let go or who left or whatever story the high school was tryna tell with that one, and the songs were standardized) because they know the production needs people who can do dance and that they’ll just get in anyway?  No more chamber choir people auditioning amazingly because they know they’re going to get in and probably get mic’d?  When I was placed into theatre 2 for my senior year, there was only one person each in theatre 3 and 4.  I know there were plans to bring back the musical theatre class that hadn’t been offered since my freshman year, but I don’t know how that went.  

It’s unfortunate, but I’m neither a theatre teacher who might understand nor am I affected by the decision.  Arts teachers really be out here shakin things up (my sister’s band director has also been rockin the boat up in that program too, but apparently the new choir director is thoroughly loved and I wish he’d been there while I was but alas).

LOL THEY REMOVED THE LINK TO THAT DOC BAHAAAAAHAHAHAHHA (4p Saturday)

Also I’d like to just note the irony of this girl I knew in high school messaging me out of the blue (not an uncommon occurrence as she used to do this quite a bit in high school) about how she’s bad at comforting people because she doesn’t have the patience to listen to them whine on and on and how she believes that there comes a point where you have to pick yourself up.  The irony is that I used to be (one of) the person she’d cry about her life to for years and while I eventually ran out of patience I also rarely had the heart to tell her to get over it (in kinder words, of course).  I’ve talked about this relationship before and how I felt it became fairly one-sided (and I admitted to my therapist that I grew uneasy with oversharing parts of my life and feelings with other people because I didn’t want to make other people feel about me the same way I grew to feel about her which like,,,, dang if that ain’t a revelation), so I won’t go into that here, just wanted to mention it.  For the sake of posterity or something idk.

--

I GOT IN AND MY CELLO-FRIEND DID TOO AND OUR FIRST REHEARSAL IS THIS AFTERNOON AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO BEFORE THEN AHHHHHH (10a Sunday)

(I had planned on staying up until they sent out decisions but they sent them out at like 3a and I was in bed exhausted (but extremely satisfied by my book (I’ve read for thirty days straight as of today which is,, like,,,,, my longest reading streak in years... probably since middle school or something) because Geralt is a big doofus and I love him for it (and I wonder if he’s portrayed this way in the Netflix show) by 1:30a.)

GUESS WHAT I’M THANKFUL FOR TODAY Y’ALL

I’ll report back after the rehearsal, probably, but I’m already a LIL BIT FREAKED OUT because I didn’t really plan this far ahead tbh.  Like,, there’s so much music and I’m gonna be takin a deep dive into staying on my part which is gonna be somethin, that’s for sure.  I haven’t had to do that in literal years and even in high school I was extremely reliant on the strong altos around me, so I’m certainly not overly confident about that at this point but we’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?

Well, I suppose there are more commandeered stairwells and classrooms in my future.

aight i got homework to do