#so please do not assume that i follow the 'fanon' (?) on that one
Text
The fact that Roy canonically goes to gay bars and hangs out with drag queens is criminally under-utilised in fanon.
Where are my stories about the boys trying to support Colin by going to a gay bar and then being gobsmacked when Roy knows everybody there? Where are the stories where Roy gets caught at G-A-Y by the paparazzi and outed, only for him to insist that he’s straight to the team, who think he’s trying to save face and keep making grandiose gestures to prove their support to an increasingly infuriated Roy. Where are the stories about Roy and Keeley going to a gay bar together (with the yoga milfs) and running into one of Keeley’s ex-girlfriends?
What about Jamie thinking he’s doing super subtle bisexual signalling (cuffed jeans, layers, iced coffee, etc) only for Roy to clock him immediately and start trying to signal his support to Jamie à la Trent’s gay mug, only for it to backfire as Jamie assumes Roy is trying to come out.
Where’s my Roy who’s known he’s queer all his life getting invited to a gay club by his yoga friends for the first time and panicking, (because he’s never acknowledged this part of himself and how can they see it?), only to go to the bar and have it feel like he’s coming home. Where’s my Roy who’s absolutely certain he’s straight (after all, he’s being going to gay bars for years and he would know by now if he wasn’t) having a fucking heart attack as he falls for Jamie and has to reconceptualize his identity at 40. Where are the comedies about Keeley and Roy knowing the same person, but Roy only knows the drag queen and Keeley only knows the man out of drag and so they don’t realise they have the same friend?
What about a post-finale story where Roy, Keeley, and Jamie all show up at the same gay bar without planning it and have a series of bewildering conversations as they try to figure out if they’ve followed each other there (Keeley is like “how many times can I tell these boys I won’t pick between them?”) or if the other person is gay (you obviously can’t just ask).
These are all off the top of my head, so I am sure there are more. But please, please, somebody write this. We can’t let Roy get away with mentioning this once and then never talking about it again.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Welcome!
This is your official-unofficial source for all things SVSSS fanon-debunking! As a veteran reader of MXTX's least popular novel and someone with a PhD in SVSSS literature, I have taken on the arduous task of separating fact from fiction... or well, specifically, canon from fanon.
《 Disclaimer: The purpose of this blog is textual analysis, not to tell people what fanon or canon material to use or not to use in their fanworks, or to make moral judgments on the way people interpret the text. Please see my faq and psa tags for more about my views on the matter. 》
There is a significant affliction within this fandom, where fanon ideas are assumed to be canonical facts-- to the point where sometimes fanon will even end up on the official SVSSS wiki 😱😱😱!!!
I've met quite a lot of people who are surprised to find out that something they think is canon is actually fanon, and even a few that are the other way around, so I've decided to start this blog to help people sort it out!
My credentials and qualifications are as follows:
PhD in SVSSS literature (awarded to me by a disgruntled SJ apologist).
A good minimum of 50-75% of available brain-space devoted to SVSSS at all times
Consummate knowledge of minute lore details
Near-memorization of a good portion of the novel, with the added ability to find any quote within 10 minutes of searching (in both EN and CN)
Author of a fic that is currently over 300k words long and counting, which was originally written out of spite for fanon portrayals of certain characters and themes
The ability to write 5k+ rants about any given topic in the space of an afternoon
--------------------
How this blog works:
You, dear reader, send in a suspected fanon topic to my askbox. Or perhaps it's something you suspect to be canon, but would like confirmation on.
I will then write a post on this topic (on no set schedule, I go as the wind takes me~), first applying a rating (more details below), then adding further information as needed. Topics with either support or rebuttal in canon will have quoted evidence presented, those without either of those things will simply have a brief explanation.
I will also add some analysis or potential interpretations and readings but I will do my best not to add my pure opinions to these posts-- this blog is about textual evidence! So, do not reblog my posts to argue with me based on your headcanons! If you want to argue against one of my posts, provide a quoted source from the novel!
Otherwise, I will most likely block you :>
Any hateful content or attempts to start fandom wank on my posts or in my inbox will get deleted and blocked. Anyone who provides textual evidence that changes my rating or analysis will be very much appreciated and receive the Golden Cucumber Award.
At the end of the day, this blog is entirely about canonical textual analysis and has no bearing whatsoever on what people want to headcanon or use in their fics. It's fandom. Do Whatever You Want Forever. Who am I to say you can't use a certain headcanon?
Just please treat headcanons as headcanons. No matter how deeply-entrenched into fanon they may be, they're still not canon and shouldn't be treated as such.
If you're of the mind that you'll still do whatever you want without regards for canon, then you're probably not the intended audience for this blog. If you're someone who wants to clarify whether a popular idea has a basis in canon or not, then read on to learn more about the rating system and see already-discussed topics!
--------------------
Rating System
WHAT DO I CONSIDER CANON?
(please read before commenting)
Each exposed fanon or canon will receive a rating and analysis. The ratings are interpreted as follows:
CANON - This fact is directly or indirectly supported by the text! If you want to stay true to canon, this should be treated as fact.
FANON - SUPPORTED - Though the text doesn't directly state this is true, it is a very likely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.
FANON - NEUTRAL - The text neither confirms or denies this. It may be true or it may be false, and the matter is entirely up for interpretation. Many fanon will likely fall into this category, and whether you adopt it or not won't affect how true to canon your interpretations are.
FANON - UNSUPPORTED - While the text may not be directly against this headcanon, it is still an unlikely interpretation based on various factors including historical precedent and cultural norms, genre tropes, and the occam's razor principle.
FANON - CONFLICTING - The text goes directly against this interpretation, and there are quotes that prove it to be incorrect. If you wish to stay true to canon, it's best not to include this idea.
--------------------
Awards:
I will give out three awards on this blog for those who assist me in keeping fanon and canon separate!
The Bronze Cucumber Award will be given to anyone who reblogs my post and adds significant additional context in support of/explaining my analysis. This may be textual context or "support" context (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes/etc.). Since this fandom likes to analyze, I will only be giving out this award to those who specifically add details and ideas that are not rooted in my original analysis (such as, a quote from a completely different part of the book, or a linguistic explanation that provides context), rather than those who simply expand on what I already wrote.
The Silver Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my analysis posts with a source telling the origin of a particular fanon idea. This is wonderful for archival purposes-- just as it's good to see where canon ideas come from, it can also be helpful to know where a fanon idea originated, in order to have proper context. Only the first responder to provide a fanon origin will receive the award (so that this blog doesn't get too clogged up).
The Golden Cucumber Award will be given to those who reblog one of my posts with a debunking of my analysis-- as long as they provide directly-quoted evidence that disproves my points. This evidence should be based on the text of the novel itself, and I should be able to look it up in my own copy. I will be more selective with giving out golden cucumbers to reblogs that debunk on the basis of "support" elements (cultural norms/historical precedence/genre tropes, etc.) because many of those topics can be somewhat subjective.
--------------------
Previously-Tackled Concepts
(See below the cut for a full list)
CANON
CQMS Twelve Peaks' have Color-Coded Uniforms
Shen Yuan has a Younger Sister
Mobei-jun has Blue Eyes
Shen Yuan is a Monster Nerd
Airplane was a Child of Divorced Parents
Ning Yingying is Younger than Luo Binghe
FANON - SUPPORTED
Shen Jiu Only Goes to Brothels to Sleep, Not to Have Sex
Mobei-jun and Shang Qinghua Eventually Get Married
FANON - NEUTRAL
Shen Qingqiu is Banned from Xian Shu Peak
Shen Qingqiu Wears a Cinnabar Mark on his Forehead
Shen Yuan Wore Glasses in his Previous Life
FANON - UNSUPPORTED
Shen Yuan was Chronically/Terminally Ill in his First Life
Shen Yuan was a Socially Awkward, Introverted Shut-In By Nature
Luo Binghe has Curly Hair
Aphrodisiac-Producing Plants are an Ever-Present Danger in the World of PIDW
FANON - CONFLICTING
Ming Fan was Head Disciple of Qing Jing Peak
Luo Binghe Received Both Scars from the Abyss Scene
Qiu Haitang has More than One Older Brother
Shen Qingqiu has Green Eyes
All Demons Naturally have Forehead Marks
Luo Binghe has a "Stereotypically Masculine" Appearance
Xuan Su is a Large, Broad, Imposing-Looking Sword
Shen Yuan's Original Body Closely Resembled Shen Qingqiu's
Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu were Meant to End Up Together in the Original Draft of PIDW
CANON EXAMINED
Shen Yuan's PIDW-Reading Timeline
Cang Qiong Mountain Sect Hierarchy (tag)
The Pre-Canon Timeline and Character Ages
143 notes
·
View notes
Note
are you still doing ur asks abt the ships? if u are what r ur thoughts on wolfstar? if not have a very good day!
thank you very much for the ask anon - and thank you in particular for leading me into danger...
my answer to this is going to be - and wolfstar shippers keep calm please - similar to my jegulus one, which means the tldr is: write what you want, but i’m unlikely to read it, especially if you don’t acknowledge the difference between canon and fanon.
i have no aversion to wolfstar coming up as a background ship (let them be happy while harry/anyone are having drama, i’m all for it) but i generally don’t search out fics in which wolfstar is (one of) the central pairing(s) and tend only to read wolfstar-centric stuff if it’s written or recommended by someone whose opinion i trust.
this isn’t because i think the pairing is unfeasible (the canonical sirius and remus very much have the vibes of people who have enjoyed each other’s bodies…) but because the community which has built up around wolfstar, both among ‘original wolfstar, y’know, like in canon’ fans and their sworn enemies ‘marauders fandom, canon who?’ fans, largely expects certain tropes and characterisations which divorce the characters from what i personally think is interesting about them.
the most egregious of these tropes, in my opinion, is the fact that wolfstar which purports to be canon-compliant or which follows the canon timeline deals so infrequently with the fact that both remus and sirius have such little trust in each other that they believed utterly sincerely that the other was a death eater.
it’s crucial that we understand the profundity of this suspicion and - therefore - what it says about the fragility of the loyalty between them prior to 1980-81. this is not a brief flash of distrust in a high-pressure couple of days at the end of october. the evidence of canon is that we’re talking about a period of months - if not a full year - in which remus and sirius not only think it justifiable to doubt the other’s loyalties, but also seem to be acting on that doubt to try to get the other in trouble.
harry is born in july 1980, at a point when voldemort has all but won the war. severus snape defects to the order at some point relatively soon after this, when voldemort decides that the potters are the family referred to in the prophecy. peter pettigrew then defects to the death eaters in the autumn of 1980 (sirius says in prisoner of azkaban that he was spying for a full year before voldemort’s fall).
snape then evidently tells dumbledore that there is a spy in the order - although he clearly doesn’t, despite a common accusation levelled against him, know this is pettigrew, since the voldemort of the first war has apparently heard of operational security, unlike his resurrected counterpart - and this leads dumbledore to demand a restriction on james and lily’s movements until - by august 1981 (the plausible date of lily’s letter to sirius) - they are basically under house arrest. the implication of canon is that, by this summer at the very latest, james and lily are aware they’re being spied on, from which i think it’s reasonable to infer three things: that dumbledore has begun to suspect that sirius is the spy over the opening half of 1981; that remus, who canonically always trusts dumbledore’s judgements, uses this to confirm his own suspicions about sirius; and that sirius, whose canonical relationship with dumbledore has an undercurrent of unease, especially in order of the phoenix, picks up on this and assumes remus is briefing dumbledore against him. i think it’s also reasonable to infer that the only person convinced there isn’t a spy among his close friends is james.
peter visits the potters’ safe-house and is aware of its address, so we can assume remus and sirius are the same. by october 1981, however, there are clearly concerns that james and lily’s whereabouts are known to the death eaters - perhaps also accompanied by information from snape that voldemort, who loves a bit of symbolism, has selected halloween as the day he will strike - which trigger dumbledore’s advice that they perform the fidelius charm. dumbledore’s unease when james picks sirius as secret keeper is confirmation that he had identified sirius as the spy. that remus is never suggested as a potential candidate is confirmation that sirius believes him to be the spy - and possibly also that james is beginning to think his best friend might be onto something (i always wonder if remus’ bitterness when accusing james of being too trusting in deathly hallows is a flash of self-loathing about the fact that james didn’t trust him). sirius then persuades james to use peter and, within a week of the charm being performed, james and lily are dead, peter has disappeared, and sirius is in azkaban.
[as an aside here, i don’t love the amount of dumbledore bashing in wolfstar, and i think it’s worth doing some dumbledore defence: sirius’ internment in azkaban without trial - a reference to an actual historical event, if you were thinking it sounded far-fetched - is not dumbledore’s fault. the wizengamot acts on dumbledore’s credible belief that sirius was the secret keeper, while sirius - who is cackling his head off the whole time - refuses to speak in his own defence. similarly, dumbledore does not deny sirius access to harry (via hagrid) when he arrives, distraught, in godric’s hollow because he’s contrived a machiavellian plan to keep harry alone and unloved with the dursleys instead of with his true family, but because all the evidence he has available to him is that harry’s life is in danger at sirius’ hands.]
so sirius spends the next twelve years in azkaban, with remus clearly nowhere near his mind. that he stays in prison, and only escapes when he has an unimpeachable chance to get his revenge and protect harry, is because he - like his narrative mirror, snape - is so haunted by his role (indirect, but he canonically thinks that he essentially cast the killing curse himself) in the death of someone he fiercely loved that he considers azkaban a punishment he deserves.
this links to the next issue i have with a lot of wolfstar: that the defining force in both remus and sirius’ lives is james, not each other. the dynamic of the marauders is frequently reduced to the following: wolfstar, who are best friends and lovers it would take the heat-death of the universe to pull apart; james and whatever romantic partner the story wishes to pair him with, who are the same; and peter, who is either there and completely futile, or is replaced with a fanonised female character (dorcas, marlene, alice etc. - none of whom, may i say, it makes sense to have in the same school year as the marauders, dumbledore is not actually running the order as a gang of child soldiers) or a woobiefied death eater (regulus black, barty crouch jr., evan rosier etc.).
but in canon, a different dynamic is clear. james is the lynchpin of the marauders’ world, the anchoring point to all their sense of self; and the moment he is out of the picture no bonds of loyalty remain among the other three. (it’s tempting to think that remus always harbours a belief that sirius is innocent, but i think that this would be less due to an unconditional affection for his friend and more due to the fact that his own self-loathing needs to believe that he couldn’t have stopped james and lily dying; which he should have done if sirius really was the culprit, since he clearly suspected he was a death eater).
if you asked remus, sirius, and peter, clearly each of them would describe james as their best friend (even though james’ eyes are only for sirius - he only has one best man, and harry only has one godfather), but their relationships with each other outside of james are less clearly defined, at least before sirius and remus are the only two left.
this doesn’t prevent pre-1981 (or james lives au) wolfstar - your boyfriend and your best friend being different people is fine, obviously - but it is going to change the dynamic between them in ways i think are significant and which i would like to see explored more, particularly in ways which acknowledge that - for remus and sirius - this dynamic might not lead to the healthiest relationship…
for example, during their schooldays, wolfstar are likely to talk to each other through james, rather than james being surplus to the flirtatious dynamic between them; remus is likely to feel awkward or insecure about the fact that sirius - whose personality is closer to james’ than his - is so happy and gregarious in james’ company; sirius is likely to resent remus’ tendency to stay out of the action, since the fact that he and james mutually encourage each other in their exploits is key to their relationship; remus is likely to resent the fact that sirius is treated by the potters as a second son, while he isn’t, and so on.
during the first war, even if we remove the fact they suspect each other of spying from the equation, they will clash over how to protect james, and remus will undoubtedly take this to mean that sirius cares more for james than for him. during the second war, the long shadow of james - so painful that remus can still barely talk about him, while sirius wants to do nothing but - will hover over everything.
and this leads on to the third reason i generally don’t enjoy wolfstar: that the complicated threads of their canon personalities are removed or reduced to irrelevance to make them fit fanon which has no basis in the books.
now, i’m not going to get into appearance discourse here, although yes, i prefer a tall sirius who tends to wear wizarding clothing and has never heard a single cool piece of muggle music in his life, and i prefer a hollowed and world-weary remus who doesn’t have visible scars. i think background discourse is slightly more important: a great deal of sirius is lost if he is turned into someone who likes being pureblood, who feels more comfortable around his ‘own kind’, or who aspires to sit on the hereditary wizengamot; a great deal of remus is lost if he is turned into someone who didn’t grow up in a loving home with parents who did their best, but whose inability to give him the childhood he really deserved in the face of the prejudice against werewolves in the wizarding world encouraged his absurd gratitude towards anyone who made even a half-hearted effort to act in his interests.
all of my preferred aspects of characterisation are canon-compliant. but deviating from total canon compliance is not a moral failing. the term is more flexible than some of its defenders acknowledge, and people are at perfect liberty to imagine that characters look, identify, or behave differently than they do in the canon narrative without that automatically bringing accusations of writing them out-of-character (after all, it’s clear in the books that both harry and hermione are white, but art and fics which portray them as a different race can still meaningfully be described as canon-compliant if that's an aim they're written to have).
similarly, rejecting canon compliance entirely is just as fine - i think you should indicate to your readers if you’re doing that, but i’m capable of using the back button and moving on with my life if you don’t.
the only hard and fast rule is don’t seek out people who do things differently to you and insult them directly, although i would also suggest that it’s worthwhile to spend a bit of time in introspection about how lots of popular wolfstar and the fandom around it - like the fandom around all slash ships - portrays queerness in ways which are heteronormative (i.e. exclusively equating bottoming with femininity) and portrays women in ways which are misogynistic (i.e. how tonks is often treated in wolfstar discourse).
however, with this said, i think there is a difference between rejecting canon compliance and yet still writing the characters in ways which feel connected in interesting ways to their complex canon selves, and just writing original characters named sirius black and remus lupin.
because i just cannot get on board with a remus who is written as the cleverest one of the four, as assertive and direct instead of avoidant and passive-aggressive, as anything other than incredibly selfish, as anything other than an extreme people-pleaser, as being soft and sensitive (his mild manner hides the fact that he is incredibly cold and calculating - this is a man who is prepared to execute wormtail in front of three children mere minutes after learning he’s still alive), as majorly regretting the snape-versus-werewolf incident (he loves it! snape is terrified of him! he downplays it constantly!), or as functioning as the moral heart of the marauders (when sirius says in order of the phoenix that remus tried to restrain their bullying of snape, he is doing it to make remus - who is incapable of self-criticism - feel better in the face of harry’s anger) when he is in fact quite morally cowardly.
and i cannot get on board with a sirius who is written as a goofy himbo, as a constant flirt and womaniser (more grey-ace sirius, i would like to see it), as the world’s wokest king (a man who’s upset his slave isn’t sufficiently deferential to him isn’t someone who’s going to speak in queer theory buzzwords - this, of course, doesn’t prevent sirius being written as queer, non-binary, trans, femme, and so on, it just means that authors have to deal with the fact that sirius’ way of existing as any of these things will be human, rather than perfect), as a small bean unable to take care of himself (he escapes from prison and swims across the north sea! he charges into danger at the drop of a hat!), as anything other than incandescently loyal to james and harry, as - after james’ death - anything other than completely wrecked by guilt over the fact he caused it, as best friends with his brother and his gang of slytherins, or as lacking the fundamental arrogance and cruelty which make him so interesting.
and wolfstar can work, absolutely, when these things are taken into account. i find the idea of second war remus and sirius, stuck in grimmauld place together, buying harry a joint christmas present, the last survivors in a generation completely hollowed out by loss, incredibly moving. remus' choice to self-destruct in half-blood prince - having lost sirius so soon after having found him again - does, i think, justifiably indicate a change in their relationship during order of the phoenix which can be seen as romantic. i find the idea of first war remus and sirius, each in love with a man they think is a spy, wonderfully bittersweet. i find the idea of school-aged remus pining desperately for a friend who is head-over-heels in love with james to be, quite frankly, canon.
and i also think that two original characters called sirius black and remus lupin can do whatever they want - i’ll just be closing my eyes, pretending i cannot see, and leaving them to it.
202 notes
·
View notes
Text
busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader
A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.
masterlist | prev. | next
Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname
Word count: 14.2k
A/N: Jesus. H. Christ. Thank you for your patience. This chapter broke me. Goodnight.
(Also please note there is a new content warning in the tags! There is slight drug use in this chapter.)
PS i know, it's a lot of angst, and you guys are here for the cute fluffy timey-wimey boy. i promise next chapter is far nicer, i just didn't want it to get boring, is all. <3
It had been so long. He’d been doing so well. You thought you could just happily leave Ralph at home and he could stay out of trouble. But several missed calls from your friends alerts you to the incident that the group chat were talking about:
With a heavy sigh, you text your co-manager, asking them to cover for you so you could leave for what you call a “family emergency”. Thankfully, you’ve had to do it often enough in the past that they just assume you’ve got a really chaotic younger sibling or something, but it still gets a little frustrating that it’s his third month of living with you and you’re still having to be on call 24/7 for him. Surely by now, he could have googled whether it was safe to microwave a whole egg. And how on earth do you accidentally go live?! There are steps to it, it’s not as though it’s a button he can accidentally press. Only Ralph, honestly.
Still, you can’t stay mad at him. Not when he’s sat on the kitchen floor, muttering to himself in exponential anguish as he reads every cleaning product label to try and determine which one is best for the task at hand.
You spot his phone still resting on the counter and look at the screen in confusion. “How are there still three and a half thousand of you watching my wall?!” You ask into the camera.
Ralph sits up on his knees to look at his phone, too, and you hold back laughter at the camera’s shot of just his hair and eyes above your kitchen counter. “What do you mean, watching?”
“You’ve been broadcasting for hours, mate. Say goodbye to your followers!” You chirp as you hover over the button to end the feed.
Ralph sinks back to the floor with a defeated, “Oh, fiddlesticks,” and you stop the livestream.
You look at the bottles he has surrounding him and hold your hand out, “Here, gimme the green one.”
He hands it over to you, and gets up quickly, moving over to sit on the sofa in silence. You sigh in resignation, looking over at him as he hugs a cushion to his chest. Quickly wiping down the inside of your microwave, you tidy up the rest of the kitchen after him and sit on the other end of the couch, cross-legged. “Hey.” You crane your neck to try and catch his gaze, but he refuses to. “Hey. You know I’m not mad at you, right? It’s just all the stuff I’ve had going on today all balled up into one big outburst. I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.”
“I suppose you shall be on your way back to work now,” he mutters into the cushion.
You shake your head, “Nah, already forfeited the rest of the day as unpaid because the other manager’s covering. Usually I’d swap it for another shift, but we’re going away next week, so…” You shrug. “No chance there.”
Ralph looks up, the pillow obscuring everything but his sad puppy-dog eyes. “G-going away? Wher- who wi- how lo-”
“Where, Brighton,” you tap one finger. “Ever been?” He shakes his head. “Ah, you’ll love it.” You tap another finger, “Who with, please, like I have any other friends,” you scoff, “so don’t worry, you won’t be meeting anybody new -”
Ralph’s eyes widen in a double take. “Wh- I’m going, too?”
“Well, I clearly can’t leave you here with me, can I?” You ask pointedly, jerking your head behind you towards the now clean microwave. “At least the sofa in the Brighton house pulls out into a proper bed size. How long,” you tap a third finger, “we leave here tomorrow afternoon, leave Brighton next Saturday morning.”
Ralph suddenly finds all his energy, “And just when were you planning on letting me know to start packing?!”
“Well, tomorrow morning, I thought, it’s just a case of shoving some clothes in a bag for a week. It’s not like we’re going to the Ritz or anything,” you shrug. “But we’ve got time to get a head start now if you really need it.”
“If I need -” Ralph scoffs at you as he leaps off the sofa and into the bedroom. All you can do is sigh as you watch him sprint across the room.
~~~
You probably should have figured out, with six of you taking three cars, that it wasn’t going to just be six of you. Grace’s new boyfriend - who you barely recognise yourself until Ralph, of all people, informs you that they’d met on his first night out with you all - and Scott’s partner, who Ralph is thrilled to be reunited with.
It does raise some questions to you about everyone’s sleeping arrangements, since usually Grace and Anna share the biggest room, leaving the three other bedrooms in the house for the rest of you. You’re about to suggest that you sleep on the sofa here, too, to give Ralph the bedroom, when instead you watch Connor throw his bag down on it.
You frown, “Oh, I was gonna stay down here to give Ralph a-”
“No, no, absolutely not,” Anna interjects, shaking her head. “I already worked out, it’s better if you two take the biggest bedroom, the two couples share a bedroom each, and then I tried to fight my case for the sofa, but Connor insisted on it.”
“What a gent,” you comment jokingly. You wonder if Ralph saw it that way, but daren’t look in his direction, in case he takes that the wrong way and assumes you want him to react.
“So - so this bedroom that we’re staying in, is - is there -?” Ralph stammers, his eyes squeezing shut and opening at a rapid pace. You’ve been able to recognise that as a nervous reaction of his.
“Pretty sure there’s one bed, yeah. But if that’s too scandalous for you, I’m sure I can get a fold-out or something,” you explain, but Ralph’s eyes quickly look around the room before he shakes his head. He can’t quite make eye contact with you.
“No, no, it’s quite… Nothing wrong with being bedfellows, right?”
You shake your head, “Sure, whatever you say. Let me take our bags up - Connor, since yours are there, why don’t you show the newbies around the house and the rest of us can get our rooms set up?”
Connor agrees and you sling the strap of your duffel bag over your shoulder and pick up the suitcase Ralph’s using to take them both up the two flights of stairs to the biggest bedroom in the house.
You really should make work on unpacking yours and Ralph’s clothes for the week, or at least getting your toiletries out, but the bed calls to you like a siren from the deep seas. Throwing the bags on the floor, you launch yourself onto the bed. Oh, sweet spongy mattress! An actual duvet that covers all of you and then some! Pillows without an armrest digging into the back of your head!
The drive down was tiring enough that you can feel your eyes getting heavy. You try to get up again, to fight the urge to sleep too early and miss out on your first night traditions.
You’re awoken by a gentle pressure shoving your wrist down into the bed. And then your elbow. And then your shoulder. You eventually figure out that the sound that accompanies it is Ralph calling your name. “Ah, you’ve awoken! Welcome back.”
You sit up suddenly, “Oh Christ, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to do that, oh god, what time is it?!”
“Not to worry! Everybody is waiting to go to dinner, they said this is the time you all go anyway,” Ralph assures you. You notice that he’s stood bolt upright, but with his head turned almost upside down to look at you. You let out a sleepy chuckle as you start moving out of the bed, and Ralph quickly darts out of the room. You try not to read into that too much.
You’re greeted with a chorus of, “Alright, sleepyhead?” “It lives!” “What time d’you call this?!” You flip your friends off and fake going back up the stairs before running ahead to the front door.
Once you’ve all got your food, you sit where you always do - a bench that overlooks the pier, all its illuminations making it obvious against the dark sea beneath it. Knowing you’re finally on holiday, surrounded by the people you love most in the world, in your most favourite place, enjoying one of your favourite traditions as your lap cradles the bundle of warmth that is your portion of fish and chips as you hear the gentle crashing of waves. Knowing that all your troubles are currently almost a hundred miles away. You feel a sense of contentment, a rare zen moment. You can’t remember the last time you felt this calm.
And then, ironically, a voice laced with disgruntlement interrupts your train of thought. “Is this really any way to spend a night? You can barely see anything, this is by far the least dignified way to eat, and I fear I may come down with pneumonia before the night is through,” Ralph complains.
“Eat quicker, you’ll warm up quicker,” you prompt him. “This is why I wanted to get you a hat, but you didn’t ‘trust me’,” you mock with a smirk.
“That’s ’cause I’m your favourite to shop with, innit, Ralphie?” Connor calls from further down the bench.
“The guy who bought him clothes that feature an Angry Birds and Star Wars crossover does not deserve bragging rights,” you scoff, to laughter from most of the others.
“Ignore that lot, mate, here, have mine for now!” Connor takes his hat off and puts it on Ralph’s head. There’s something rather endearing about Ralph wearing a hat with ear flaps, but even more so when they’ve folded back on each other enough that they stick out to the sides.
“Are you quite sure?” Ralph asks, eyes wide and pleading.
“Yeah, shoved my hand in my pocket earlier and realised I had a beanie in here, too,” Connor grins as he puts another hat on his head.
“You’re such a twat,” Grace laughs, and Connor acts offended.
“Excuse you! I was merely looking out for my best mate here!” Ralph’s face lights up at those words.
Trying not to focus on how cute that is, you grin, “Did you wanna share the bed with Ralph, then?”
Connor’s mood shifts at that. He suddenly shakes his head and goes quiet as the others hurriedly change the subject. They tell Ralph about how you’ve all hired out the same house from Airbnb for years now, how the tradition of visiting every year came to be, asking Ralph if he’d ever been to a beach before. He vaguely recalls going to “a sandy beach” when he and his sister were very young, for a few years. You’ve had a few heart-to-hearts with Ralph about his father’s death and his mother’s admission to rehabilitation, but he doesn’t bring it up to the group. You still give his hand a gentle squeeze, to let him know that you understand if he’s getting upset. He wriggles his hand against yours until your fingers interlock, and he squeezes back, using his free hand to pull the ear flaps of his new hat down to cover his.
You keep hold of Ralph’s hand as you walk back to the house, just to let him know that you’re still there for him - though you’d be lying if you weren’t also letting yourself indulge in the idea of you both taking a romantic late-evening stroll along the beachfront, just a little. Of course, usually when you allow yourself these small delusions, it ends up warping the little grievances the two of you have into something far more infuriating than they probably actually are - something’s got to bring you back to reality, after all. But you can’t see any reason why you’d possibly get far enough to snap while you’re on holiday.
Once you’re back to the house, and you and Ralph are making your way upstairs, you tell him to get himself changed in the bedroom while you do so in the bathroom. You grab some pyjamas from your bag, as well as your washbag, and head in to get yourself ready for the night. A quick silent pep talk with your own reflection to remind yourself that your walk back with Ralph was strictly platonic, and you’re ready to go back out to the living room for some games with your friends before bed.
As you step out of the bathroom, you hear a short, shrill shriek. Your eyes dart immediately to Ralph sat on the side of the bed who, despite the fact that he is wearing an undershirt, still censors his chest from view with his pyjama shirt, staring at you with wide eyes.The shade of his ears is unusually deep compared to when he’s usually surprised. Assuming you’re paying far too close attention to such a minor detail for no reason, you snort out a laugh, tell him to meet you downstairs and go to meet the others.
Though Ralph doesn’t understand a lot of the games you all play that rely heavily on pop culture knowledge, he’s a big fan of those that rely on skill and/or general hilarity, since his cluelessness usually helps him there. You advise that he take a backseat upon the suggestion of Jackbox, much to the others’ chagrin - you just feel as though he isn’t quite ready for that, yet. You’re proven right when he constantly asks you for clarification on just what makes a particular answer funny, or when his ears burn up at a particularly racy answer. Connor had expressed interest in showing Ralph the ropes when it came to some games, and you tried to encourage him to go over there, but Ralph insisted on you being his teacher. You assume it’s because you know better than anyone how to explain things to him, but internally your imagination is playing a very dangerous game.
When you awaken in the bed the next morning, Ralph is still sleeping soundly next to you. He’s almost at the edge of his side of the bed, back turned to you. You slowly make your way out of your side and sneak past him, out of the room and down to the kitchen.
“No Ralph?” Scott asks as you walk in.
“Hello to you, too,” you jokingly flip your friend off and he smiles sweetly in return. “Nah, he’s still sparko. Dunno why.”
“Didn’t he sleep well?” Anna frowns.
You shrug. “Couldn’t tell you, I slept like a log!”
Ralph stirs from all the way upstairs, assuming from the open door that you’d already left the room but still staying still just in case. He slowly starts to roll around to look, allowing himself a sigh of relief as he sprawls out on the bed. He’d only slept once he’d finally exhausted himself from trying to stay as deliberately far away from you as possible.
His mind would wander, of course. How peaceful you must look when you sleep. How wonderful it would be to awaken with his face a mere touching distance from yours. On occasion, he’d hear you take an extra deep breath and he’d get giddy at the realisation that he was breathing the same air as you!
That’s when he’d rein it in. Stupid Ralph. That’s exactly what scared Lauren off. It’s been months since that week, and still he hasn’t learned. In the present moment, Ralph pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration at himself. Desperate to think of anything other than the thought of waking up next to you just as the sun shone against you in the most perfect of ways, making you appear even more radiant than usual. Of your eyes slowly opening as you wake. Ralph finally gives into temptation and indulges himself in the idea of your sleepy smile, in this dream universe where you’d be happy to wake up to see him. And what a perfect sight that would be.
He takes himself to the bathroom, picking up his razor and twirling the handle around between his fingers and thumb, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. He’s already shaved his facial hair clean off on several occasions. It keeps him remembering who the real Ralph Penbury is. You and your friends always complain when he does it, though. They tell him that he’s not Our Ralph when he looks like that. He’d love nothing more than to be Their Ralph. Especially to you. What was the point of being the other Ralph? Going back to a penniless, friendless, loveless, overall fruitless life?
But you’re always reminding him, this isn’t his era. This isn’t permanent. You’re always preparing him to go back to his own time at any point. A part of Ralph - the stupidly optimistic, nay, deluded part - hopes that it’s simply a fear of the unknown, that messing with time in such a way could cause devastating effect. Though what a stupid thing to think, in what universe would Ralph have such a massive impact?!
With a heaving sigh, he tidies his facial hair up to a minimum while keeping it intact. A part of him still hesitates, still debates going further. It's what you'd want. Except also it isn't, because you always tell him he looks better with it. Ye gods, you're a confusing one.
Ralph gets himself dressed and makes it downstairs in just enough time to catch breakfast being dished up. You whisper something to Scott as soon as Ralph approaches, and Scott hands him a plate with a warm smile alongside everyone else eating, before setting everything up to make another portion for you. Ralph wants to frown, but he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, either. Why would you immediately sacrifice your breakfast for him, when he's the one who came downstairs later? Why would you see him being fed first as more important? Why not let him make that decision? He would have been happy to wait.
You feel Ralph's eyes boring into you as he scarfs his eggs down, but the one time you try and look back at him he acts as though he's trying not to get caught. You wonder what he could possibly be thinking, until Anna starts talking about the day's itinerary. This is good, this is distracting from the awkwardness, this is what the holiday is all about.
All wrapped up for a brisk November morning, you all head out to the pier, as per tradition. As Ralph gets face to face with the rides, he looks up at them, horrified, and you frown. "Are you scared of rides, or something?" He looks back down at the pier floor, watching the waves crash beneath a gap in the planks, with more fear in his eyes. "Hey, hey," you soothe, "eyes up." Ralph eventually tears his gaze away to look at you. "I promise it's all safe. It's not like those travelling funfairs where everything gets wheeled in and out, everything's built to stay here. Alright?" He still seems distracted, and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, "Wanna hold my hand again?"
Stupid. What happened to not feeding the delusion? What happened to distancing yourself? What happened to being realistic? You know exactly what happened. Those damn baby-cow eyes. Hopefully Ralph'll say no. It'll be too scandalous for him to hold hands in public with people all around, surely.
But no. His fingers very carefully slide between yours yet again as he squeezes your hand gratefully. You keep both of your hands relatively tucked away from the others' view - they've already got you two sharing a bed, the last thing you need is having to constantly try to convince them all that you and Ralph aren't an item. Despite the fact that it would certainly be a good thing for you, a constant reminder to you that it can never happen, you know your friends well enough by now to know that they’d only take it as denial. That they’d keep pressing to ‘uncover’ whatever they believe you’re hiding. And you’ve gone this long keeping your one big secret from them, what if they keep digging until they find that out?!
Your train of thought is interrupted by a loud giggle from Ralph. He sees the photo op cutout of a cop and robber chase scene and he’s delighted by it. “Wanna pose?” You let go of Ralph’s hand to take your phone out and hand it to one of your friends as you both run behind the photo stand. Ralph finds the resulting picture absolutely hilarious.
“I always wanted to do one of those,” he muses as the pair of you hang back for him to once again hold your hand, to your own chagrin. Why couldn’t you have offered to link arms? That’s friendly enough. Can’t really be misconstrued. His smile, small but contented, melts your frustrations away, if only to add to them later on as you’re walking with him.
“Did they not have people taking your photo for you, even, in those days, then?” you ask quietly, so as not to be overheard.
Ralph half-shrugs, “There were cameras, you know. Far bigger than those little pocket ones everyone has now!”
“Yeah, I think I know of them. Big box things, someone would have to stand under a curtain and hold out a thing to press to take it, right?” you ask.
Ralph holds back his laughter as he replies with amusement, “By a thing to press, do you mean a button, by any chance?”
You pull a sarcastic face at him. “I’m leaving you stranded here,” you joke, tugging him in a particular direction to show him you’re not serious. “You’re spending too much time around me, I think. Starting to sound like me and everything,” you shake your head.
“Is that such a bad thing?” Ralph asks in a small voice.
Trying not to overthink what else that could mean, you shrug, “Well, I s’pose if I’ve a part to play in you being able to tell your sister to shove it, then not really. But using my own brand of sarcasm against me?” You tut, again shaking your head. “I’ve created a monster.” Ralph laughs gently at you as everyone stops at their first ride: the Turbo roller coaster.
Everyone laughs at the shade of green Ralph turns. “I promise you, mate, it’s far scarier down here than it is up there,” Connor tries to reassure him, but Ralph is fixated on the loop in the track.
“Honestly, Ralphie babe, that is the tiniest loop you’ll ever go on. It’ll be over before you even know it, and by the time it is over, you’ll love it, promise!” Grace holds her little finger out to Ralph, who stares at it with fearful eyes for a few beats before linking his own, to everyone’s cheers.
You allow your hands to be a little less obscured, under the guise that Ralph is only scared of the ride and so you are providing a temporary comfort. Anna also rests her head against Ralph’s arm, and Scott places a comforting hand on his shoulder, at your invitation. “The more of us that comfort him, the better, right?” you explain. “Plus, if there’s any… Prying eyes…” You look around anxiously. “At least they can’t assume that Ralph and I are dating just ’cause we’re stood together,” you roll your eyes exaggeratedly. “I don’t need that sort of attention, it’s bad enough on socials.”
You don’t see Ralph’s change in demeanour. What was a quiet excitement mellowed amongst the fear of the ride, turns to full-blown dejection. Of course you’d be embarrassed to be associated with him. Who wouldn’t be? No matter what era he’s in, he’s still Ralph.
Anna interrupts his train of thought by rubbing his arm, “You alright, Ralph?” He nods, pushing a smile up his cheeks. “Nervous?” She asks, and he nods silently. She hugs his arm tight. “Honestly, there’s nothing to it.”
“Yeah, you’ll be a thrill-seeker like the rest of us in no time!” Scott grins before nudging you and Ralph each. “You two should get a photo on the Crazy Mouse for the flat!”
You shake your head, “Come off it, like either of us would want a photo of us being flung around like that! Right, Ralph?” Again, he nods without saying a word. Your brow furrows, “Are you okay? Did you want to sit this one out?” He shakes his head. “Sure? We can just go get food if you would rather watch this lot go round first and then we can go later,” you offer, but he shakes his head again.
“Besides, it’s not like it’d be the worst photo of him out there,” a completely strange voice from the other side of the queue barrier makes you jump.
“Excuse me?!” Scott exclaims.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you all! We just saw Ralph, and then you, and really wanted to get a photo, if that’s okay?” They ask you. They seem innocent enough, just asking for a picture, but you still can’t help but stand there awkwardly.
“Oh, I’m not really into that side of things, I only got my socials to make sure people are being normal about him,” you shrug them off before adding, “and to reward you all with some extra content if you’re all behaving!” They laugh, and you turn to Ralph. “What do you say, do you wanna take a photo with some of your fans?”
Ralph approaches the barrier and leans over it to pose for the photo, pressing his lips together into a smile as he holds an arm around his first in-person fan. “My friends and I just think you’re absolutely hilarious!” They smile up at him.
“Oh, please,” he laughs, flustered. Though he has his new hat on, you can guess what’s happening beneath it. “My lack of knowledge of technology doesn’t necessarily make me hilarious, anyone could do that.”
“Nah, there’s a sort of… Natural charm about you. Plus, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re really cute. Even in that photo that’s going around.”
Ralph sputters nervously as the rest of you exchange glances. You manage to hide your seething rage from your friends, though you feel it boring through your eyes as they fixate on this person. “Ah, don’t be so silly! You’re far too kind. Um, is that your friend over there waving you away?” He asks as someone approaches, thankfully dragging their friend away while talking about spotting a Twitch streamer as they head in the direction of some poor sod wearing a black and white face covering. You wonder whether that’s their ‘thing’ or if they’re doing it to avoid detection. You wonder if you’ll have to do that with Ralph at some point. His internet fame is becoming less and less of the laugh it first seemed to be with every day.
“You alright?” Anna again checks in with Ralph, who looks slightly bewildered still.
“Should I have responded differently there?” He asks.
You’re quick to answer, “No! No, I think you did the right thing, there.” You then hurriedly follow it up with a, “I mean, dating fans is never a good idea, right?”
“Yeah, not gonna lie, that made me uncomfortable,” Connor cringes. “You handled it way better than me, mate.” Ralph feels a sense of pride at his words. The line starts to move and soon enough, you’re all getting into carriages yourself.
You make sure you and Ralph are in one near the middle, so he feels safer. Once you’re all strapped in, and the attendant is sure Ralph is, too, you see him already squeezing his eyes half-shut in anticipation. You poke him gently and hold your hand out again. “It’ll be here if you need it, okay?”
“Oh, it’s quite alright, I wouldn’t want to be a -” Ralph starts, but as the coaster jolts into motion he quickly grasps your hand tightly.
Ralph’s half-laugh/half-scream serenades you throughout the whole ride, especially at the loop. Once the ride brings you back upright again, you look over at him. “Was that so bad?”
“Boy, that was exhilarating, wasn’t it?!” He beams, and everyone else cheers for him from their own seats.
“You did it, Ralphie!” “We’re so proud of you, babe!” “Reckon we’ve awoken the thrillseeker in you?” Ralph’s too giddy to answer any of those.
You can barely get him to stand upright without his legs turning to jelly, unless you get him to hold your arms while you hold his. He falls into your arms with a giddy laugh, and you gently shove him onto his own gait. “Easy, tiger!” You giggle. “God knows what you’re gonna be like on the other rides.”
Once he sees the Crazy Mouse coaster in action, that green hue in his skin returns, so you decide to build his courage up a little more. His face simply turns white when he sees the ghost train. Scott notices and rolls his eyes, “Oh my god, Ralph, don’t even worry about it, this is literally the least scary ride on here.”
His partner pipes up, “Yeah, there’s scarier creatures on the merry-go-round than there are in there!”
“I wonder if they’ve put the face back on that animatronic from last year or not?” You ask, before looking over to Ralph, who looks horrified. “It’s unintentionally the scariest thing there, and it’s not even that bad. Trust me. Remember?” You hold your hand out, wiggling your fingers. “If you need it.”
“What if… People assume?” Ralph asks, trying not to spit the word out with the venom that wants to follow it.
You shrug, “I think your face justifies your need to have someone hold your hand. If you’d rather, you can sit with Connor or Anna, I was just suggesting -” He takes your hand again in silence, and you walk him over to queue up at the ghost train.
The moment the ride takes you into a dark hallway, Ralph buries his face in your shoulder, and you pat his cheek comfortingly. However, as he starts to see the quality of the animatronics (“Was that one being held up by -” “Duct tape, yes.”) and experience how poorly timed the “jump scares” are, he relaxes far more.
You take him on the twister next, which only ends up throwing your body into his at every convenience, a consequence you’d forgotten in the year since you’d last been on it. Still, he seemed too invested in the adrenaline rush that came with being thrown around in circles to notice your proximity.
After a quick pit stop to eat, and reassurance to Ralph that you weren’t going straight back onto any rides, you go into the arcade. Ralph’s face lights up along with all the games as you explain what ones are. He excitedly tells you that he recognised the fortune teller machine and a strength tester game from his own youth.
You let the others go on ahead as you and Ralph pay for a go on the fortune teller. It tells you, “A smile is worth a hundred frowns in any market!” You look at Ralph with the biggest smile you can muster, and he returns with one of your favourite expressions of his, the big fake animatronic-style smile that could rival the fortune teller. “And lucky for you, the great Zoltar sees much happiness ahead for you!” You bite your lip at the irony. Does that mean Ralph's happiness, that he’ll be returning home soon? Your happiness, that he’ll be staying? Or is it just a randomly generating machine?
It prints off a fortune and you read it together: You may be riding the winds of change. Things may at times seem to be out of touch. Soon they will come to a better order. As the blessings of health and fortune have a beginning, so they must also find an end. Everything rises but to fall. To make sense of all this, you will find the answer is to be found in how well you relate to people. Looking at the big picture will help shape your long range plans. If things are not always smooth remember that he who could foresee affairs but three days in advance would be rich for thousands of years.
You blow out a long breath of disbelief at how weirdly on the nose that seems to be for you both and quickly pocket it to find the others. Grace is trying to get her new boyfriend to win her a stuffed toy on the cranes. Scott is trying to finesse a coin-pusher game while his partner and Connor play a dance mat game behind him, and Ralph leaves you to watch in awe as Anna plays a pinball machine. She tries to explain the mechanics of it all to him, but it seems to be going entirely over his head.
You play your favourite game for a while, trying to win as many tickets as possible, when Ralph soon joins you as well. “Any luck with pinball?” You ask, and Ralph shakes his head.
“I wasn’t sure how to play it, I didn’t really seem to be doing anything, rather just pushing an awful lot of buttons for the sake of it,” he answers.
“Sounds like you were playing it right to me!” You laugh. “What do you wanna do now?”
“Well,” he says, excitement obvious in his voice. “I saw one of those photo booths around there…”
You gasp, “Yes! Let’s do it!” before looking around with disappointment. “Ugh, how are we gonna fit everyone in, though?”
“Perhaps we can get individual ones with people across the week?” Ralph suggests.
“Alright,” you nod. “Wanna get some practice in, just us?” Ralph nods back at you, and you both head into the booth.
Once you’ve paid for it, Ralph asks, “Now how does it all work, again?”
“Right, it’ll tell you when - oh, for fuck’s sake,” you groan as it takes a photo of you mid-sentence, and Ralph stifles a laugh. “Okay, quick, when’s it taking anoth- ahh!” Another snap takes you by surprise, and Ralph doesn’t attempt to hide his amusement this time. You throw your hands up in disbelief, “Well, this is a waste now, isn’t it,” before collapsing into laughter yourself.
“I am sorry,” Ralph frowns at you once all four are taken, and you wave him off.
“Don’t be! I should have set us a game plan from the beginning.” You decide on your poses: a normal, smiley one; a goofy-grinning one; one with both your tongues sticking out; and one where you kiss his cheek. You promise him that it’s not at all scandalous to pose in this way, and that between Grace and Scott, at least one of them would want a photo with him like it anyway so you’re simply getting him geared up for that. You’re promising yourself that more than him, if you’re being honest with yourself.
You end up posing for the first one with your heads touching as you smile gently into the camera. He’s not giving his usual uncomfortable smile, or his disappearing-lip act. It’s just a nice, natural smile. Which is immediately replaced with a fake smile so big, he has to hold himself up on the bench with both of his hands to hold himself at an angle worthy of the grin on his face, which you mirror. When you tell him, “Tongues out!” yours pokes straight out towards the camera, but he lets his loll out to show off the flat of his tongue to the camera instead. You remind him to look ahead for the last one by pointing at the screen, and then holding the cheek furthest from you to push it closer to you, feeling his freshly trimmed down stubble scratch at your lips as you feel them press against the warm flesh of his cheek beneath.
Once all four are done, you quickly get out to make sure both strips are still there to collect. Thankfully, nobody else has seen them, and you pick them both up to study them. You try not to focus on the bottom photo of the second strip, instead looking at the total disaster that is the first strip. Most of them are blurry and far from flattering, but the final one. What is it with the last photo with you two?! You’re laughing, as is Ralph, but the way Ralph is angled, you could just as easily fool yourself into believing that he’s looking at you as though he’s madly in love with you.
As he emerges, he asks, “So, were those first ones completely unusable?”
Quickly tearing off the bottom photo to pocket it, you crumpled up the remaining three and throw them in the bin. “Yeah, pretty much! Here, hold onto these ones, though, and we can put them on the fridge when we get back home.”
Home. Do you mean that to mean your home is Ralph’s, too, or are you speaking on your own terms? Neither of you know, to be honest.
Your friends reconvene around you, and you tell them of yours and Ralph’s plan for each of them to get a mini photoshoot with him, what with it being his first time on this holiday with you all. Everyone happily accepts getting their own photo ops in with Ralph, and you love watching how everyone poses with him. Your personal favourites are Anna teaching him how to throw up deuces as they pull funny faces, Connor teaching him how to make hand horns as they stick their tongues out, Scott and his partner both kissing each of Ralph’s cheeks, and Ralph’s feigned disgust as Grace drapes herself over her boyfriend.
After all that excitement, you decide you’ll return to the rides another day. Instead, you find a nice little Italian place to eat that’s taken over an old cafe you had used to love coming to, but this new restaurant has an even better vibe than its predecessor. That, and Ralph learning how to eat spaghetti through trial and error is hilarious, especially when he decides that the best way is to simply find the ends of as many strands as possible and slurp them all up. The rest of you make a game of picking a strand each and seeing which one lasts the longest.
On the way back, Ralph gets recognised again. Thankfully, this person knows better than to flirt with a total stranger, though Ralph still seems astounded at the whole experience. This fan says something about being able to replace their icon from “the explosion photo”, and so, remembering the one from earlier mentioning an unflattering picture, once you’re all back at the house you look through Ralph’s follower list and burst into laughter.
It seems as though his fans have taken a screenshot of his disdain after microwaving the egg and made it their profile pictures. Some have left it as is, with your kitchen in the background. Some have added further explosions and other phenomena in the background. Ralph is the only one who doesn’t see the funny side, the disappointment returning to his expression.
With a sigh, you promise him, yet again, that there is no need to be upset. You’re not upset with him, the flat was easily cleaned, the microwave remains functional. You understand that this comes from years of being raised poorly, but having to constantly remind Ralph that you aren’t mad at him, is ironically the thing that frustrates you the most about him.
The next day, after again waking up to Ralph practically on the edge of his side of the bed, you decide to go to the Lanes to explore some of the vintage shops. Mostly, for your own amusement, you want to watch Ralph react to what is considered “vintage”, but you know you’re going to have to rein it in around everyone else. The day flies by in a montage of trying on ridiculously old clothes, ones that even Ralph turns his nose up at, trying to find the most cursed old toys in every shop, and Ralph trying desperately to stifle his excitement every time he recognises something from his own time period. Ralph gets recognised again by a young, tall blonde boy and his shorter brunette friend, though those two soon get accosted themselves, which allows you to get Ralph away to the safety of a quieter shop.
After your shopping excursion, you return to the pier to play some more games, this time from the attractions around the pier. Thankfully, Ralph seems far more confident walking on it, so there’s no need for you to offer any hand-holding services - although it does already feel strange walking around with both hands empty. You manage to win a stuffed animal on a throwing game, and Ralph decides his skill set is best utilised playing hook-a-duck - though he throws the person running the game off of their rhythm when the prize he asks for is to keep the duck itself, as Ralph personally has no use for stuffed animals. The person running the game, totally baffled, ends up letting Ralph keep the rubber duck, which he seems thrilled about, placing the hook over his finger and letting the duck swing from it with great delight.
“I think I get why cats like him so much,” Connor comments from where he’s stood just behind you as you watch Ralph. “You know how you can buy them all the expensive toys they want but they just wanna play in the box?” You snort with laughter in agreement. “He’s just one of them.”
While Ralph insists on everyone referring to the duck by its name, Clarence, he apparently draws the line at your joke of offering to pay for him to shoot a photo booth reel with his new friend. He looks at you with disapproval at that one.
You still utilise Clarence in his own way, though. Everywhere you go from that point onwards, you take a photo of the duck in that area, and then post it to Ralph’s Instagram story for him, though you only do so once you’re no longer in that place, for obvious reasons.
That evening, at the house, Connor tells Ralph he’s got a surprise for him, and to close his eyes and hold his hands out. Your heart swells when you see that Connor, who had excitedly spent the best portion of an hour in a music shop, has bought Ralph his own ukulele. Ralph looks close to tears at the gift. “Oh, Connor, I couldn’t possibly -”
“None of that, you can and you will,” Connor states simply while pointing at him, and Ralph shrinks down in defeat, opting instead to look at the ukulele with marvel. You all spend the night listening to Ralph play his chords, everyone occasionally offering lyrics to the tunes he was playing. God, he fits in so well with you all. It’s going to be so heartbreaking to tell them all when it’s his time to leave.
You wonder if the window of opportunity will only be open while you’re away. It’s a risk you’ve had to take to make sure he stays safe, since he literally only proved days ago that he still can’t be trusted unsupervised. What if you miss it? Would he resent you? Would it cause some insane rip in the time-space continuum? There’s really not a lot of solid research into this whole time travel business.
The next morning, you’re shocked to awaken to Ralph’s face dangerously close to yours as it rests on the inner half of his pillow. You could count his eyelashes, they were that close. You could connect his freckles, they were that close. His lips twitch ever so slightly in his sleep as you’re studying his face. His face that’s so close to yours. His lips that are -
You quickly take yourself out of that trance and practically throw yourself down the stairs, you’re that quick to leave the room, and those thoughts.
Ralph awakens, sadly, from a dream where you’re happy to have him in your arms to find himself near enough in the middle of the bed. He wonders exactly how he got there. You’re already awake, because of course, you always are. You don’t lie awake for almost an hour every night trying desperately to stay as rigidly far away from the centre of the bed as possible.
When Ralph arrives for breakfast, the group have already decided that today is more of a lazy day. They’ll go out later, of course, but there’s no rush. Just a day spent at the house, playing more board games and listening to both Connor and Ralph playing the ukulele as Connor teaches him how to teach himself actual songs. You even post Ralph’s first photo dump to his Instagram account:
As fun as it is to get out and experience another city, especially getting to do so with Ralph for the first time, you make just as many memories on this rest day. Memories like Ralph not only playing Jackbox for the first time, but somehow winning several games. Memories like watching Grace and her boyfriend playing board games as if they’d been married for years, even though she wrongfully accuses you and Ralph of playing the same way.
In the last hour of sunlight, you realise something. “I haven’t found my rock for this year, yet!”
Ralph looks at you strangely. “Your what?” Before answering his own question. “Do you mean that shelf full of stones in the bedroom has a purpose?”
“Yes! Every year, I find myself a cool-looking rock to take back. It’s tradition,” you explain with a gesture. “Plus, it gets us all out of the house at least once.”
“W’re all goin’ out la’er,” Connor groans from where he lays across the sofa he’s been sleeping on, beneath a mountain of crisps he’s been making his way through.
“At least twice then, lazybones,” you comment, but almost everyone else is happy to stay home.
Everyone except Ralph, who hurriedly gets his shoes on. Of course, it’s just you and Ralph. Alone. Far away from home. Nothing could possibly go wrong, here.
Thankfully, you’re on a mission, here. You can distract yourself with the task of finding the best looking rock on the beach. It can’t just be the first cool rock you see, oh no. It has to be the best one. That’s always been your rule.
Ralph tries to help, but honestly, a puppy would be less excitable. He keeps grabbing the first rock he can, running up to you to ask, “Is this useful?” to which the answer is almost always “no”, and so he simply throws it back to the ground and looks again. There are three separate occasions where he shows you ones he’s already asked you about. But he’s having fun, and he looks adorable, and maybe tonight you’ll be able to delude yourself into a happy little dream where Ralph’d be happy to do anything for you. Though perhaps not quite anything, that sort of dream would have to be reserved for a time when you’re not sharing a bed with him.
You thump the side of your head with the heel of your hand, as though you’re trying to knock the idea out of your brain. There is absolutely no time and place for those kind of thoughts.
At one point, Ralph sees a young child throwing rocks one at a time into the sea, with great delight. Ralph also seems highly entertained by it, and when the kid looks over at him, he decides to join in by grabbing a whole handful of rocks and throwing them all into the water at once. The kid thinks this is the most hilarious thing they’ve ever seen before. Ralph seems happy enough to keep doing it until the kid’s parents take them away. You’re happy to just sit back on the ground and watch Ralph, taking photos and videos of this moment.
Ralph soon joins you where you sit, laughing breathlessly. “Oh, what a joy that was!”
“You certainly looked as though you were having a blast,” you simper. “Though if you threw away the ultimate rock amongst all of that, I may never forgive you,” you add in a sarcastic deadpan.
“I would completely understand,” Ralph nods back, unable to keep up any monotony for any amount of time before snorting with laughter. He looks out at the horizon, pointing out how the sky looks now that the sun is starting to set. “Don’t see that very often in London,” he frowns.
You shake your head, “Nah, it’s usually too cloudy. Not that different here, we’ve just caught a good moment. Looks nice, doesn’t it, all reflecting on the water and that?” You cock your head to the side and sigh happily. “Could sit here for hours watching it.”
Ralph tenses up, trying desperately not to think of how your head just rests against his arm, the weight of it still pressing down on the padded sleeve of his coat enough for him to feel it. He swallows hard, “Yes, it’s too bad that the sunset doesn’t last long at all, isn’t it?”
“You’re telling me,” you add with a soft smile before sitting up. “That’s why I wanted to try and get to the beach now, to get to see it at least once. ’m glad you came with me,” you muse before suddenly realising you’re treading into dangerous territory here. To save yourself, you quickly add, “Y’know, so that you get to see it too, while you’re still here. Since you were saying you haven’t been on a holiday like this since you were a kid. Maybe you can go on more of them once you’re back.”
“Maybe,” Ralph replies emotionlessly.
You sit in relative silence as you watch the sky together. You get a “golden hour” selfie with Ralph, mostly to teach him about it, though he says that he doesn’t see much difference between that photo and most of the others you’ve taken in the past. After realising that he’s brought it with him in his pocket, too, you spend a good few minutes laughing along with Ralph as you try to find the most photogenic angle of Clarence the duck to add to his photo collection.
Once the view stops being quite so aesthetically pleasing, you stop off at the pier again to buy some sugared doughnuts to share with Ralph as you make your way over to the pub that you plan to meet your friends at. You love this pub as another of your holiday traditions, because Wednesday nights are karaoke nights. You wonder whether Ralph’ll feel confident enough to sing along to any modern songs. The mental image of Ralph taking to the mic to sing along to Taylor Swift with his entire chest is enough to make you laugh out loud, which confuses Ralph, but you opt to not tell him, merely shaking your head and covering your mouth instead.
To your disappointment when you get there, the pub no longer does karaoke, but Wednesdays are now pub quiz nights. You still stick around for dinner, and after a couple of drinks, you end up signing up for the quiz, for a laugh. None of you expect to get very far, but Grace’s boyfriend really pulls through with sports questions, and even Ralph ends up answering the question that ultimately wins the whole quiz for you, one about a specific style of shoes that had rendered the rest of you clueless.
Everyone ends up watching your group celebrating Ralph. The leaders of the second-place team, an older blonde man and a dark-haired woman he refers to as his wife, even join in with their own congratulations.
A pair of young women offer to buy Ralph a drink, to which Connor starts encouraging Ralph to go with them. You very quickly make conversation about the rest of the week’s plans with Anna and Grace to distract yourself, but Ralph doesn’t seem interested, much to your confusion. You look around at your friends, who all seem to be exchanging their own looks to each other, but none of them seem to want to look at you. You shake your head and make your way to the bathroom, scoffing indignantly at the two men who barge past you to get to the door next to you.
After a few minutes of silent pep talk to remind yourself that you have no right to feel bad if Ralph expresses interest in someone else, Anna comes in specifically to find her. After promising her a full eight times that you’re absolutely fine, you both head back out to the group, where Scott had brought along a game from the house that you can all play together. You notice Ralph isn’t there, but you don’t bring it up. You’re not his keeper, after all.
~~~
“Ah, ladies, this is quite an honour, obviously, but I am out with friends and it would be rather impolite to just leave them!” Ralph explains hurriedly to the two women who have approached him to congratulate him on his efforts.
“I dunno, your mate there seems pretty keen for you to come over,” one smirks in Connor’s direction.
“I must insist, I could never live with myself for taking advantage of such generous women as yourselves, though I am deeply grateful that you should wish to spend your night in my company! I’m afraid I’m very much not from around here, and so I would get frightfully lost without my friends to guide me home,” Ralph blabbers, getting more and more flustered.
“Maybe you can come back to mine, then?” The other asks, looking suggestively at him as she touches his arm. It’s a gentle contact, but it electrifies Ralph at high voltage as he yelps, pulling it away.
“Truly flattered, but I am a gentleman first and foremost and so I simply must decline such an offer, and I shan’t be staying long enough to court you appropriately, but I wish you both very well in your endeavours!” Ralph practically shouts as he turns on his heel and quickly makes his way to the toilets.
Ralph walks in on quite a sight. Two men, reasonably bigger than himself, bent double over the sinks. “Pardon me,” Ralph calls out, with the intention on simply throwing some water on his face as a wake-up call of sorts, but the men jump up in surprise at the sound of his voice.
“Ain’t nothing to see here, mate, jog on,” one says, trying to square up against Ralph.
“Sorry, gents, just wanted a quick go at the sink, and then I’ll be out of your hair, I promise!” He smiles brightly, completely oblivious. He catches sight of a line of white powder along the counter and chuckles to himself as he recognises it as cocaine, thinking back to previous parties he’d held at Penbury House.
The first man growls, “Find something funny?”
“Oh, just reminiscing. It’s been a while since I’ve seen… You know,” his eyes flash over to the substance on the counter. “Just fondly remembering old times.”
“Oi, ain’t no way this toff’s a user,” the second man shakes his head.
The first one snarls with a smile, "You a copper?"
"Heavens, no!" Ralph laughs. "Not to worry, gentleman, I'm no telltale, your secret is safe with me!"
"I'm not buying it," the second one looks at Ralph with an upturned nose. "I reckon he's a snitch."
"Well, only one way to prove it, innit," the first one grins uncomfortably at Ralph as he gestures towards the counter. "Care to join us?" he asks in a voice that mocks Ralph's.
“Well, if you insist, I - straight from the counter?” Ralph asks in disgust, but the chorusing snarl answers him quite adequately. “I suppose beggars can’t be choosers!”
Just as he finishes the first line, he’s interrupted by a loud, “RALPH! Fucking hell, get your head out of there! What the fuck is wrong with you two dickheads?!” Connor grabs Ralph by the back of his jumper and throws him back. “You alright? How much have you had?”
“Oh please, it was barely even a full line, it’s nothing,” Ralph insists, to both Connor and Scott’s baffled expressions.
“We don’t have time to unpack that right now,” Connor throws Ralph in Scott’s direction at the emphasis, causing Ralph to trip over his own feet through both of the steps it takes to get there, and Scott catches him, trying to get a good look at his eyes. Connor turns to the two men. “Alright, look.”
“Don’t know that I feel up to much talking,” one snarls.
Connor pulls a sarcastic expression. “Oh yeah, beat a guy up in the same room your coke’s still out for the world to see, good one(!) Shut the fuck up, yeah? We didn’t see anything, neither did you. Just - I mean, what the fuck were you thinking, giving your shit away for free, to him?!”
The man shrugs, “Had to call his bluff, innit? Thought he was a narc.”
“Well, you thought wrong, didn’t you,” Connor sneers, remaining sarcastic as ever. “Just… Clean up and get the fuck out of here, yeah? C’mon,” he gestures for Scott and Ralph, who’s already starting to bounce on the balls of his feet, to get out.
~~~
Once you finally see all three boys re-emerge from the bathroom, as you’d asked the other two to check on Ralph, you notice something off amongst them. Ralph seems in far higher spirits than the others. You get up to meet them halfway and notice something white and powder-y on the edge of Ralph’s nostril. “The fuck is that?!” You ask incredulously.
Scott looks over and quickly pulls his shirt sleeve down to wipe at Ralph’s nose with it. “Nothing!” He lilts, though his expression as he flashes his eyes at you confirms your worst fears about it. Scott mutters, “We need to get him to a hospital.”
“No!” You and Ralph chorus loudly. You shush the man and hurriedly lie, “No, you’ve not seem him in a hospital, he’s fucking useless, faints the second he gets in, he hates it all, honestly. Give him here, just - I’ll take him back to the house, I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“I promise you all, I am fine, I’ve done far more than that in my years!” Ralph states. “Can we please just return to our night?”
“Respectfully, mate, you don’t know what this shit’s been laced with,” Connor warns. “I’m with Scott, I think hospital’s the best place.”
“And I’m telling you, it really fucking isn’t,” you hiss back at them. “He just needs to get back home so he can’t make any more bad decisions.” Ralph frowns at your words, but you ignore him.
“Alright, we’ll pack up,” Scott starts, but you stop him.
“No, no.” You sigh, “Look, it’s still your holiday, too. I’ll take him back, I’ll keep you guys updated, but you lot just enjoy the night without us, okay?”
“We really don’t mind,” Connor shakes his head, but you persist.
“Honestly. Just…Hang on a second.” You return to the table, spinning a tale of how Ralph’s got a migraine and so you’re going to take him home as you put your outdoor clothes on. Everyone still at the table calls out well-wishes for Ralph as you make your way back to him, informing the boys of what you’ve said, and you lead Ralph out of the door into the brisk evening air.
You walk in silence, not knowing what to say. You’re concerned about Ralph, obviously, but you’re also just so mad at him for doing something so stupid. Who accepts some rando’s offer of coke off a random pub sink?! What the fuck was he thinking?! And now, everyone else is enjoying their holiday while you spend it the way you spend every single day - babysitting a 25 year old man who acts without consequence because he doesn’t bear them, you do. You may as well be at home with him.
“You know,” Ralph finally breaks the silence as you walk up the street that the house is on, “I’m not a child. I knew what I was doing.”
You sigh, “Free drugs is a massive red flag, Ralph. You could have gotten into some serious shit.”
“Well clearly not if we’re just going straight back to the house,” he points out.
“Okay, Ralph, what do you want me to say when we get to the hospital? ‘Hi, I’ve got a man here who needs drugs pumped out of his system. Name? Ralph Penbury. Date of birth? February 1st 1901. Oh, what’s that? You’ve got him marked as being dead for the last 96 years? Then what’s he doing stood here?!’” Ralph goes quiet up until you get to the front door, where you press your hands into your face and groan. “Ugh, I’m sorry, Ralph. I shouldn’t have snapped like that, that wasn’t fair. I know you can’t help… That bit. But you can say no to drugs, surely?!” More silence. With a sad sigh, you unlock the door and let Ralph go ahead. “Want me to make you a cup of tea?” You ask, and he nods before running up the stairs.
You kick yourself internally for upsetting Ralph before then arguing with yourself. Why should you be apologising? You were right. It’s your holiday, too, and he should have thought more carefully. You have every right to be upset, yourself. But you’ll forgive Ralph for that, the way you always do, because you already know you’re going to lose him at some point, and that’s going to be painful enough, and if you can put it off for as long as possible, you’re going to.
He pads back into the kitchen in his pyjamas, looking at you with his big doe eyes as you hand him a hot mug full of tea. “It seems to be the ordinary stuff,” he states, “because it’s only just about affecting me. Same way it always does.”
“Did you… Do it often?” You ask slowly. “To cope with stuff?”
“Heavens, no, it’s no coping mechanism!” He shakes his head. “Cocaine’s always been a staple at Penbury socials. It’s… Acquiring and using it was always the thing people liked having me around for,” he explains quietly as he takes a big sip from his mug. “It barely affects me these days, just makes me… More likeable, I suppose.”
Of course there’s a dreadfully sad story to go along with this. Just more fuel for you to feel bad about snapping at him. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders as he continues drinking. “You know how much we all like having you around the way you are, Ralph. I mean, we might be able to make a citizen out of you yet if we just claim you as Scott and his partner’s adopted child!” You joke, and Ralph lets out a small, breathy laugh.
“It’s… Hard to believe, still. Sometimes. Sorry,” he mutters, leaning down to rest his head against yours.
“You have to trust us, Ralphie,” you squeeze him gently, “that’s part of having friends. You like having us around, right?” He nods violently. “Right! So part of making sure we stay around is knowing we want to. If you don’t trust that people wanna be your friend, they’re gonna assume you don’t want them to be.”
“Is that what Scott and Connor will think of me, now?” he asks sadly.
“Well no, because they don’t know… That, what you’ve just told me.”
Even more quietly, he asks, “…Do you -?”
“Are you really asking me if I want you around?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at him. “Have I not done enough to prove my case there?!”
“More than,” he admits, still quiet. He takes another long sip and asks, “Does the TV here have all the films that we would have back at home?”
“Wanna watch Little Shop of Horrors while you come down?” You ask, amused, as Ralph nods in response. You let him curl up to lay his head on your lap as you both watch the film from the sofa Connor’s been sleeping on, Ralph’s foot tapping against the arm of it along with each song.
The rest of the gang return just before the movie ends, and they’re all happy to see that Ralph looks in relatively good condition. The pair of you retire to the bed soon after. Too tired to change out of your day clothes, you simply crawl into your side and sleep, forgetting to wish Ralph goodnight in your exhaustion.
You all decide that Thursday shall be another day on the pier, with Friday being a packing-up day due to the night out you have planned, so that you don’t have to worry about packing with a hangover and can head back as soon as you’re feeling well enough to on Saturday.
You start the day out in the arcade again, firstly making sure that you, Anna, Grace, Scott and Connor get your annual photos in the booth as per every year for as long as you can remember. You show Ralph and the others photos you have on your phone of reels from years past, to which they take great delight in seeing you all in younger years. “It’s nice to have friends that last,” Ralph smiles, and it makes your heart sink. Comments like that help your brain to justify keeping Ralph around regardless. He needs to be here, with his friends, with the people he loves and who love him. There’s been no major consequence so far. You start to wonder if there ever would be.
You quickly pull yourself from that train of thought, instead opting for the certainty of being out with your friends. Grace pulls Ralph towards the dance mats, itching to teach him, and you allow yourself to stand back with Grace’s boyfriend to watch them. Ralph may stomp on each arrow with such force that the ground shakes beneath you, but there’s no way you can comment on that when his face is lit up that much.
You lose track of him when Connor pulls him away to show him a shooting game, instead opting to go for one of the coin-pushers yourself. It seems as though Ralph also didn’t last long with that particular game, nor does he have the patience to wait for your tactical plays as he starts grabbing coins from your pot and placing them in the slots from behind you excitedly. You giggle uncontrollably as he keeps putting coins in and smugly adding the occasional, “See?” when a whole pile drops.
It’s only when you feel your back collide against his chest that you’re brought back to your senses, and you tug at his arm until you’re standing beside him instead, trying to keep your tone playful with an, “Alright, then, if you wanna play that way, don’t let me stop you!” as you find another game that’s easy ticket fodder.
Eventually, you tell Ralph that it’s time for him to face his ultimate fear, that you’re all going to ride the Crazy Mouse roller coaster. He nods, still agreeing to go on it with you all, though he remains quiet. Once you’re in the line for it, you try and brush your hand against his again to let him know you’re there for him, but he makes no attempt to hold it. You hope it’s because he’s getting braver, but his stoic expression doesn’t exactly give you that impression.
Since today is warmer than the others, none of you had really decided to wear hats today, which makes the state you all end up in after being spun and thrown around the roller coaster track all the more hilarious. Ralph’s curls especially are in full force, sticking up in all directions, which the fans who recognise him today point out a lot. You notice there are more today than ever before and check his name on Twitter to see your suspicions confirmed - people are starting to publicly announce sightings of Ralph in the wild, which is leading to people congregating with the sheer hopes of seeing him out in the wild. You’re not sure how many more of these appearances you can take.
You return to the hook-a-duck stall so that Ralph can proudly show off Clarence to the man running the stall. A young man with a mullet pouts about how he was told that he wasn’t “allowed” to keep a duck, even though it matched the red beanie his friend is wearing even today. The man behind the stall simply explains that Ralph was more charming, to the hat-wearer’s amusement.
You go back to playing more games until the people working the arcade inform you that it’s nearly closing time. All of you band your tickets together and divide them fairly to redeem a prize each, though Ralph insists that he doesn’t get a share. He is more than happy with Clarence alone. If only you’d known sooner that the best way to placate Ralph would be to stick a hook in a rubber duck’s head.
Connor picks a box that contains fuzzy car dice, “for a laugh”. It certainly does raise a lot of laughs when he opens the box to find that the ones he’s ended up with are pink, but he shrugs it off. Scott and his partner pick out as many Pokémon cards as their tickets will allow them to, Grace gets a toy monkey with magnets in its hands and feet while her boyfriend picks out an inflatable guitar. Despite having already won a rather large teddy at the can game the other day, you take pity on another soft toy that clearly looks like it got into a fight with the manufacturer and came out losing, opting to take it home with you. Ralph looks at it fearfully, and you shake it at him jokingly.
Friday holds the weight of being the last full day away. Everything feels as though it's happening in slow motion, that it isn't in real time. It doesn’t entirely help that the day is filled with the mundane act of packing until the real thing to look forward to later tonight, which now feels eons away.
When it finally reaches lunchtime, you talk the others into getting delivery. “Whatever happened to the ‘we should get out of the house, lazybones’ mentality, eh?” Connor teases.
“Do you feel up to being there while Ralph gets accosted by fans again?” you ask bluntly. “Besides, you should see Twitter today, it’s obsessive,” you pull a face of disgust as you scroll through posts to show your friends.
“These people need Jesus,” pipes up Grace’s boyfriend.
“You said it, babe,” Grace herself adds. “Surprised they haven’t realised he’s staying here and started camping out.” Scott tentatively looks out of the window, but nods in relief to confirm that nobody’s waiting out there.
You decide to make it the feast to end all feasts, each of you ordering food from different places and all sitting amongst your plethora of food to talk about your highlights of the whole trip, compare photos and overall just enjoy each others’ company. Even Ralph seems to perk up, which you’re glad about. He’d been pretty reserved all morning, which makes sense given how dull the day’s events have been, but you’re glad to see that there isn’t something else keeping him quiet.
Finally, the night is upon you. Everyone’s promised that they’ll all be on watch in case anyone tries to approach Ralph, either weird fanatic or potential danger, so that you can just switch off and enjoy your last night before returning to London.
You feel as though you may get to really enjoy it when you catch the attention of a man who’s far from unattractive. He keeps making eye contact with you from where he’s stood at the bar and flashing his eyes in invitation. After a few pep talks with the girls, who seem a little hesitant at first but soon warm to the idea of you having a night where you finally get to flirt and be flirted with, and just get to feel special for a night. And who knows, maybe that’ll be all it is. Maybe you won’t even spend your last night back at the house. After all, what’s a holiday for if not to live totally differently to how you would at home?
When you finally approach the bar, he smirks, “Look who finally made a decision!”
“Look who’s already blowing their shot!” you reply in the same lilted tone, making him laugh. You exchange names and he offers to buy you a drink. This is everything you’ve been needing to fill your confidence gauge - mostly banter, with the occasional ice-breaker question and the more than occasional compliment thrown your way. And honestly, the way he already matches your wit without you constantly needing to explain yourself, or reassure that you’re joking, just makes him even more attractive in the moment.
Ralph watches on from a distance, absolutely seething. Of course, you deserve to be happy. He knows that. He knows that you clearly wouldn’t be happy with him, and that’s why you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length, constantly putting the time travelling situation between you and him. But Ralph absolutely cannot stand to see it happening in front of his eyes. And so, with nothing stopping him, he marches over to you and taps your arm. “Hello!”
Not expecting any interruptions, you jolt, “Jesus, Ralph, you scared the shit out of me! Uh, yeah, this is Ralph, my - flatmate,” you explain.
“That’s right, we live together back at home as well as here!” Ralph beams falsely at the other man. “So, what are we talking about?”
The man laughs awkwardly under his breath as he shuffles in place and you say through gritted teeth, “Uh, Ralph, do you think maybe Connor wants to talk to you?”
“Oh, heavens, no, he’s got a pair of young women on the go himself, the dog!” Ralph scoffs.
“Seems as though two is an awful lot of people for just one of him to manage. Think you could take one off his hands?” you ask, again trying to make it very obvious that you want him to leave.
He doesn’t seem to be taking the hint, though. “Oh, I’d only interrupt them!”
“How terrible that would be.” You deadpan, before addressing the man you’d been talking to. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” he tips his glass to you. “Don’t forget, it’s your turn to buy the next round!”
You shoot him a flirtatious smile and grab Ralph’s wrist to tug him away. “Listen, Ralph, mate, I think maybe… You should spend tonight more around one of the others, than with me. Yeah?”
“But what if I slip up and mention something about… The situation at hand?” he asks, gesturing at himself.
You tut exasperatedly, “I dunno, then maybe… Just really try not to bring it up? It’s not that hard, you haven’t done it yet. I just… I really needed this, Ralph. Please?”
“Are you going to leave me in the bed alone tonight?” he asks quietly. Sadly.
You sigh. “I dunno. Maybe? We’re all adults here, Ralph, you’ve spent long enough being able to sleep in my bed by yourself, I’m sure someone else’s won’t be too different.” You find Grace, who’s with her boyfriend and Anna, and park Ralph with all of them before returning to your date for the evening.
Ralph’s only half-listening to whatever everyone else is talking about. His attention is laser-focused on that man. His hair is the same colour as Ralph’s, and it’s curly just like his, but there’s more of it. His eyes are the same colour as Ralph’s, but they’re obscured with glasses. He’s taller than Ralph, and he makes you laugh more than Ralph does, and if the cup he’s holding was made of anything other than glass, Ralph would have certainly squeezed it out of shape by now, if not broken it entirely.
While the girls take a momentary bathroom break, Grace’s boyfriend nudges Ralph. “You alright, mate? You look like the nerves are taking over. Wanna do a couple shots with me? It’ll take the edge off.”
Ralph agrees, hoping that perhaps the blanket of numbness over his brain that only alcohol causes will keep it quiet. Grace’s boyfriend has already paid for the shots when Ralph looks at them in horror. The last time he saw a shot glass filled with clear liquid, it resulted in all kinds of emotions. Still, perhaps it’s another clear spirit. Perhaps it won’t make Ralph feel the way he did that night.
Or maybe this is also vodka, and once both the shots that Ralph takes hit, perhaps he’s on his way back over to you. “Hello, again!”
You look at your date with resignation. He looks back at you with sympathy. It’s him who regards the new third wheel in the conversation, “Alright, mate? Ralph, isn’t it? How you doing?”
Ralph pays him no attention at all. “I fear I have once again gotten myself into a predicament,” he tells you.
“You’re a big boy, I’m sure you can get yourself out of it,” you flash warning eyes at Ralph to get back to literally anyone else.
He shakes his head, “No, no, it’s, um. It’s something you had explained to me. What are the different drinks that make me feel different things, again?”
You hold your hand to your head. “Ralph, mate… Do you feel as if something’s been put in your drink, or…?”
“I’m not sure what that would feel like,” he frowns, “but you know these things better than I do!”
“Here, look,” the man you’d been talking to stands up straight. So tall. “This has been great. Really great. But I think your flatmate needs you tonight, so… I’ll see you around, yeah?”
You shake your head dejectedly. “We literally go back to London first thing in the morning.”
He frowns at you sympathetically. “You’ve got a phone though, right?” You take it out to find that it’s out of battery.
You curse internally, “Knew there was something I forgot to do tonight. I’m so sorry.”
“Well. Perhaps in another time. It was lovely meeting you.” He looks Ralph up and down with a slight look of jealous defeat. “You too, mate,” he adds to Ralph through gritted teeth before stroking your arm once more, letting it linger for as long as possible until he walks away.
Something in you finally snaps. Every part of you is just… So done with Ralph right now. And he has the audacity to perk up again once it’s just the two of you?! “What the fuck was that about, Ralph?!”
“Well, I was just going to say that Grace’s… Gentleman friend had bought me some of those shots and I think they’re the sort that have the effect on me that you remember better than I,” Ralph explains with a slight shrug.
You shake your head. “Nah, nah, there’s more to it than that. I made it very clear that I was hitting it off with him, and I just wanted a night where I could -” You cut yourself off, but Ralph feels the tension, soaking it in himself.
“Oh, go on and get it over with, won’t you?” Ralph asks, once again playing the sad card. “It’s obvious there’s things you want to say to me, just say them to my face, please.”
“Okay, you know that’s not fair when you pull that shit, because then it makes me feel bad when I am allowed to be pissed off at you!” you snap. “You want me to say it to your face?! Alright, how’s about this, then. Having you at my ankles 24/7 is fucking exhausting, Ralph. I can’t even go on one night out and talk to one person that isn’t you, I - I didn’t sign up to be some random guy’s mother -”
“I do not see you like I would Mother!” Ralph defends, offence very obvious in his expression.
“Then why am I the one always cooking for you, always cleaning for you, always fucking working overtime because I’m paying for your bills and your food and your clothes -”
“Because, as you keep telling me, I’m not a real person here!” Ralph hisses through his teeth.
“It’s not just that, though, it’s the attitude that comes with it. You are so used to your little rich boy life that you don’t see how much I’m going through. My back is in constant fucking agony from months on that godawful sofa. I don’t get a single day off to myself anymore. I mean, fuck, you’ve had more dates than I have since you got here! I supported you putting yourself out there, even though it was one of the stupidest risks you could have taken -”
“Well, it’s a good job that didn’t work out then, isn’t it? Because once again, nobody wants anything to do with Ral-”
“Here it is again. I can’t just feel something, you have to also be feeling it twice as hard so that you’re the focus here, I - I can’t have anything for myself anymore!” you shout exasperatedly. “Not even one night where for once, I get to feel wanted. I - y’know, everyone fucking falls at their feet for you, you’ve even had people ask you out while we’re here! And nothing was stopping you if you wanted to! But the moment I want to indulge in the idea that maybe someone out there would show an interest in me -”
Ralph scoffs, “That man was only interested in one thing to do with you, and it’s much too vulgar. You deserve to be courted in the appropriate -”
“We’re not in the 1920s anymore, Ralph!” You press your fingers to your temples. “It’s not a bad thing for someone to just… Want you like that. And even then, let’s hash this out. Let’s say I could have been courted by him. You think someone like that is gonna think I’m worth sticking around for when I’ve got another man constantly in my shadow, fighting for my attention? I mean, fuck, what are you gonna do without me when you go back, eh?”
“Ah, again with the going home!” Ralph’s voice is audibly slurring by now. “It’s all you ever want to talk about with me, just tell me the truth already, it’ll hurt less. Tell me you can’t wait to be rid of me.”
“For fuck’s sake, Ralph, I don’t want you gone! Far fucking from it! But I’m not gonna mess with shit we know nothing about, and putting everything back where it was is logically the best thing to do.”
Ralph looks on the verge of crying. “So, that’s it, then. I’m not even worth a -one, I’m just a -thing now.”
“No, that’s not -” You take a deep breath. “Look. We’re going off on tangents that don’t even make fucking sense now. I’m going back to the house. To the bed, don’t worry your fragile little head, I’m not gonna go stand on a street corner like the harlot I am,” you pull a face, blinking back your own tears. “Thank you for ruining the one week a year I actually look forward to.”
You storm away from Ralph, though you find most of the group congregated together at the bar. You stop by them to explain that you and Ralph got into a fight, that you don’t want to talk about it but could they please just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. They promise that they will, and so you head out of the bar, straight into one of the parked taxis and finally let yourself cry as it drives you back to the house.
next chapter
#ralph timewasters#ralph timewasters x reader#ralph timewasters x you#ralph timewasters fanfic#ralph timewasters imagine#ralph penbury#ralph penbury x reader#ralph penbury x you#ralph penbury fanfic#ralph penbury imagine#ralph timewasters fluff#ralph penbury fluff#bsbl#fic: bsbl#*myfics
247 notes
·
View notes
Note
How do I make my characters have more depth or like a spark yk? How do I make them feel alive and like actual people. (Also I need general tips on writing please)
Hi…I'll try to give some advice, although I don't think I'm that skilled at it :3
Always read your writing out loud, especially dialog. With intonation, as if you were an actor.This will help you see the mistakes and correct them.
Characters shouldn't have only black and white sides. People are usually gray and often very contradictory.
For example, the way I write Ronnie in one of the fics.
Outer layer: On the outside, she seems very confident. Flirts a lot, knows how to keep a face.
Inner layer: She is vulnerable and dependent on other people's opinions. She needs approval.
Digging deeper: Veronica believes that she's actually a good person and that she's just underestimated. So she tries to live up to her self-image, but…
And a little deeper: …but she fails, and this striving drains her. Her parents loved her, but expressed love only as a reward. She never received unconditional love, it always seemed to her that she had to work hard to get it.
And this is where you get motivation that you can use later.
Of course, you don't have to say it directly, but leave clues: the resentment of being underestimated, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach when JD taked her side without question or reproach.
Motivation is important. It may not be shown, it may not be mentioned, but the most important thing is to know it when you write. That way, the character's actions will be smooth and believable.
Accidents happen, impulsive decisions are made. If you want a character to suddenly decide to do something out of character, why not?
Just lead up to it. Add fatigue from routine, thoughts of "I'm tired of thinking things through," and so on. And then the reader will believe that this is not a god from the machine, and that the character has just gone over the edge.
You have to play "yes, but" with the characters. For example, there is Martha. Martha is kind and naive.
She's naive. Yes, but naivety is a childish trait. With naivety often comes selfishness, not from evil, but from a black-and-white view of the world.
Even if you look at the canon, Martha didn't really think about Veronica's feelings when she suggested going into her boyfriend's locker, or when she assumed he was a murderer. It didn't occur to her that if Veronica hadn't known it was really him, she would have been hurt by the situation. That she would have had to choose between an old friend and love.
Or no longer about canon, but about fanon. Martha is kind - what dark side could there be? Simple, she is good, but her goodness can be suffocating. Veronica is sarcastic by nature, she has an innate adaptability, black humor and gray morals. And she can feel bad around Martha, not just because she compares herself to her, but because Martha, for all her goodness, may not accept all of Veronica's darker sides. And Veronica will have to work harder to hide her bad sides and earn Martha's friendship. Which brings us back to Veronica's inner conflict.
Well, probably the last thing on my mind is rereading and correcting it until it comes together in the right way. Sometimes you've already written a chapter, and you reread earlier chapters and see that there was a situation that could be the reason for the characters' actions now. Because you have the motivation in your head, all the events follow each other, even if you didn't think them through. They just fit into that character's vision. And rereading helps to connect and flesh that out, to make the story even more coherent.
I hope I've been helpful. Have a good day!
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Deception and manipulation. And quite frankly, why I disagree with fanon's vehement inclusion of both for Kafka's character. I've been sitting on this for quite a while now, and I one day want to write a much longer meta on it, but I wanted to "briefly" touch on it for the ones following me, so that you know what to expect, and well, what not to expect.
Nothing within canon inherently thus far to me, has shown Kafka to be dishonest, and it's actually one of the things that further drew me to her character as I continued into HSR, the fact that she isn't. But, I've been re-watching all of her scenes yet again today to see if I can budge myself on this, but I'm still firmly rooted in my belief that Kafka is not deceptive as people make her out to be, and if anything, I feel even stronger about this today than I did yesterday, despite actively trying to find things that would prove the opposite. All I can see, honestly, is that she actively tells the truth when on screen. This entire belief that she's anything akin to deceptive, manipulative, or dishonest is genuinely just an audience's perception that stems from the general, go-to assumption that someone who has been brandished a 'villain' bears every bad trait in existence. And the audience comes to hold that perception because it's what numerous characters on our screen seem to think (one of the earliest examples of this would be Himeko and March 7th, but primarily the latter). She has a bounty of 10.899 billion credits on her head, yes, so far that's the highest that we've seen, but we also know that the Stellaron Hunters have been closely involved with a lot of chaos that's occurred throughout the cosmos (and the other hunters do not possess the ability that she does). But we need to not interlace bad traits where they, in my opinion, don't belong.
Let me elaborate a little bit on my stance here so I don't go haywire in my tags. Also, please note that this touches on her character/dialogue and what we see within the story, her "games" such as the Jepella Rebellion touch on a different element of her character: boredom. That's for another day. Anyway, yes, I will also touch on her spirit whisper, because I know that's also a huge contender into this 'deception' theory.
The first scene that holds proper and deeper nuance that we're witness to, is when she speaks to the Trailblazer in the very beginning after awakening them. We see 'Listen:' at the very beginning, which we know is something she uses to signify the effects of her spirit whisper. Now if one were to simply take her spirit whisper, at its essence, as manipulative and that's that without taking intent and practice into account, then there's nothing I can say, but I will assume that's not the case here. Not anywhere in the lines that follow (and here are the choices), does Kafka insinuate any specific action for the Trailblazer to take, if anything, she insists on the existence of their own choice and will to 'reach the end of their story'. 'Listen' in this entire sequence is a call to attention, in the way that a person can wave their hand in front of your eyes or snap their fingers near you. The Trailblazer in this context is confused, they've just woken up and are unsure where they are, what's happening and perhaps, even who they are exactly. So the call to attention makes total and utter sense. Her spirit whisper isn't merely hypnosis, if you look at its capabilities, it can be used in various ways. Now outside of her SW, you hear the softer and more authentic tone of her voice (for those unaware of what I mean: here) when she speaks to them, and you actively see a change of expression depending on your answer to her that, quite frankly, is too genuine to me alongside the change of voice to take them in any other way than at direct face value. And lastly, she answers every question posed to her by the TB within the time constraints that they are under. Does she answer them elaborately? Not exactly, but there is quite literally, no need for it. She's not being dishonest, she's not being deceptive, she's actually being quite caring, if one dare use the word (and I do).
Second, the Astral Express visit. For starters, not once does she actively use her SW here in any capacity. She reacts to what Himeko says to her, and even entertains the 'accusations' and even gives away a bit of information that by all accounts is true, the Astral Express and Stellaron Hunters both pursue, in their own ways, the most dangerous objects of the universe. They are in some capacity, two sides of the same coin. From thereon out, she doesn't dwindle or waste any time (hers or theirs), she gets to the point of the Xianzhou Luofu, she says where it is, explains what happened, and what she knows will happen if the crew doesn't go there. She also discloses that she wants to retrieve Blade. Does she disclose the entire 'idea' of how they will end up clearing the Stellaron Hunters' reputation? No, but she has no idea on the reliability of any of them, and two (Himeko, and March 7th) seem 'hostile' towards her, and one (Welt) is hesitant at best; there is absolutely zero grounds for her to entrust them with the steps of their plan. Aside from that, the entire plan that we see unfold after that quite literally never endangers any of them, if anything, it only makes them look good, and guess who the Stellaron Hunters would owe a favor to after all of this? The Astral Express. Who would the Xianzhou owe a favor to? The Astral damned Express. The ones going on a limb here, despite having a 'script', is Kafka and the Stellaron Hunters as a whole. Point me at the genuine dishonesty or manipulation in this, and if you want to add a scoop to it, any ill-intent.
And then we get to the actual Luofu. Honestly, I need someone to tell me where she lies. Even before she ever gets captured, and they're chasing after her; right at the beginning, she literally says why the chase continues, and why she's not stopping yet: 'What a hassle, this place is too far for the diviner. See you up ahead.' Take her at face value, it's what she wants from you. Granted, she can profit if you don't (but at this point, I would beg to differ), but she's not trying to get you to believe any lie, if she was, she'd be telling one.
"Best future? Best for who? As if you'd consider anyone but yourself." — March 7th
"If I said 'best for the universe', would you believe me? Best for me, naturally." — Kafka
And as much as one might want to try and rub my nose in "it" at this point, I'd like to ask what anyone is trying to rub my nose into. Again, is she not being pretty forthcoming? She's not saying more than she needs to, but that's not being deceptive. If someone doesn't ask for more information, then why should you give them... more information than necessary?
"I have no interest in the words of wanted criminals - especially those skilled in the art of manipulation." — Fu Xuan.
/shakes the bars of my cage. Yes, she uses spirit whisper, we know that she does. But again, this is an audience's perception of a 'villain' at its definition, rather than a judgement call made for one in specific. I understand Fu Xuan, of course, I do, but I'm not taking an 'in-game' stance, I'm sitting in the audience's seat and dissecting what I see.
I just, where is she dishonest? She proceeds to talk to the Trailblazer at length, and goes as far as to admit that the Stellaron Hunters are not entirely innocent. Not once is it claimed that the SH are void of any blame, she takes it, here and during the Jepella Rebellion trailer (even if, yes, it is a mock trial and she's hypnotizing them, yes, I know, "the proof is in the pudding THERE, Sae!", I'm arguing nuance, not a case of 'Kafka is always honest). Guys, she comes clean entirely. I'm starting to go feral, I know, but I just don't understand. I don't get it. /semi-tugs at hair. We're almost at the end of her scenes, and I still don't see it.
I don't understand. I don't understand. And then in 1.2, Waterscale Gorge, she stops them all from fighting, has them stand down. And when Dan Heng asks her what she did, she answers it well enough. And guess who doesn't question it upon his arrival, witnessing it? The 'hotshot General' in question: Jing Yuan.
I understand 'interpretations', but I fail to see how the massive overwhelming part (if not bordering the entirety) of fanon has such a severe attachment to this concept of Kafka being inherently deceptive, or have her whole existence shrouded therein. I don't see where this is the case. We can even look at her trailer, a Dramatic Irony, and look when she speaks at the end to the last guard in question. Some could argue that she lies to him when she offers the flip of the coin, but she doesn't. She never once actually offers him a chance to live, she never once insinuates that if he guesses correctly, that he could live, that is an assumption that the audience makes, rather than it being a choice that she actively presents. 'As for the ending, want to take a guess?' One might try to argue deception with me here, but I'd like to simply fire back: where is her deception? It only exists if you hear something that she never says, that is not something that she puts in your head; that's a choice that you make. A choice, a choice, a choice. The entire thing that she preaches about since the dawn of time when we awoke as the Trailblazer. Where is she lying? It's easy to call someone else out on something that you, yourself, create in your mind. Now do I think an argument can be made, there? Sure, for I absolutely don't make the case for her to be exceptionally and thoroughly 'transparent', but it's all about nuance. It's about, quite honestly, looking at the imagery of a spider. Where is that little quote I came across a while back— ah yes, here:
“The spider's web: She finds an innocuous corner in which to spin her web. The longer the web takes, the more fabulous its construction. She has no need to chase. She sits quietly, her patience a consummate force; she waits for her prey to come to her on their own, and then she ensnares them, injects them with venom, rendering them unable to escape. Spiders – so needed and yet so misunderstood.” — Donna Lynn Hope
An innocuous corner that can be avoided, she doesn't scheme and try to lure you into a web that would mean your destruction; more often than not, you could see it rather well ahead of you, and the intrigue is that you would walk into it almost willingly. It's alluring, it's tempting to those of curious nature that seek to unravel and explain, it's intricate, it's beautiful, why wouldn't you want to draw yourself into it? But the spider at the center is not the one that coaxes you, even if she's the creator of that ever intricate web. And yet, when you get wrapped up into it, she is all encompassing, and most don't come out alive as we see. And your fate is cruel, just like— well, fate is cruel. But is she, like Kafka, manipulative? Or is she, while you may so strongly want to believe the opposite, much more honest than you wish she was? And is that why she is cruel? Is that not the cruelest?
#[ meta. ] the mara's tether is firmly in her grasp. she will not pull upon it before the designated time; nor shall she relinquish it.#[ i'm tired. i'm so tired. hi hello. i'm so mentally tired that i can't even tag ramble. ]#[ just-- have this. /have this/. i lay it on the table. ]#[ it's incoherent; it's a mess. but it's just. /sighs. ]#[ i blame aven. he told me to do it. entirely his fault. i take zero responsibility for any of this. ]
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok one last dip into "the Izcourse" before I take my own advice and pivot to rewatching S1 in prep and posting about what I love!
We get a lot of trolls, and harassers, and staunch antis looking to pick a fight with the "bad fans" who either drop bait or jump on people's posts to be annoying. That's the flame war part of all this mess. But we also get a fair number of posts from "neutral" people that I want to gripe about for a moment because at least the antis are misrepresenting "what Izzy fans believe / discuss" because they are actively against my take on the show for whatever reason. But it's more annoying to me personally when it's just... a lack of effort.
(And I've mentioned this before)
Like... a "neutral" observer weighing in on "The Izcourse" is a member of the general fandom who doesn't care enough about Izzy to really be an anti. Their perspective on the matter is coming from directly or indirectly following people in the antis' main meta circle. We know this, because just about every neutral person who was not from this background got classified as an Izzy apologist / problematic Edward thoughtcrimer and they are counted as in "the Canyon" now. We watched it happen a lot over the past year and a half. So the observer is not neutral, not really, but they probably aren't heavily blocking / blocked if they don't care and don't talk about Izzy.
Which makes it so frustrating when they feel the need to bring up "concerning" trends among Izzy fans and their interpretations and then they don't know what those interpretations are.
Like - in the most patient tone I can possibly manage - scrolling a bit of the Izzy Hands tag and taking fans squeeing about their blorbo as evidence there is no nuance in meta and too much babygirlifying here is dumb as fuck. Hell, even isolating a recent meta post and going "well I don't agree with this because XYZ" is still very much a "so what?" situation because that one person is not representing all Izzy fans? And also you still have a huge blind spot.
Because meta is - at its core - a collaborative structure.
You can't experience a particular branch of meta primarily through people vaguing or screenshotting and dunking on whatever looks the worst, then skim a little bit of a tag and be able to confidently call out what the "problematic trends" are. You can't even understand where the random meta you singled out is coming from, because you don't know which posts they've been looking at for over a year. And this is all really highlighted by the fact when you go to dissect that post you disagree with, you'll do it by just saying things that you understand to be established, well-defended facts from your own circle of meta and not back them up at all. Because in your mind you don't need to! And yet the post you're disagreeing with won't make sense because they are just assuming things and talking about this fanon version of Izzy you don't recognize. 🤷♀️
(This is why my typical meta post is linking to three separate discussions, lol. I'm building off of things said before like basically every meta writer, but I want those things referenced.)
If you aren't going to actually put in the effort to identify which blogs are the "major players" and then go back through tags or their popular posts or whatever to get an actual idea of what the meta structure Izzy Canyon has spent over a year discussing contains, then at least don't disparagingly comment on those people and discussions while lumping them into one "problematic" hive mind??? You don't know what you're talking about because you didn't care, and that's whatever. Just please stop confidently conflating random blog #7's generally happy post about how "i can't wait for my fave little guy to have friends 💕" with a concerning lack of discussions on Izzy's relationship with the crew.
My "#ofmd meta" tag - among others - is full of almost exclusively Izzy Canyon blogs writing complex posts about all sorts of things from romcom genre conventions to POC fans' takes on Edward's cptsd, and it's beyond annoying to see them repeatedly insinuated to have the depth of a puddle because the antis prefer to pile on a headcanon about Izzy reading and turn it into an insult to Edward's intelligence, and all the "neutral" blogs take it as gospel.
#i mean i do actually enjoy dissecting fandom dynamics a fair bit which is the only reason i weigh in as often as i do#if this was actually making me miserable or upsetting me i would just fully block and filter and never touch it again#but it is also varying levels of irritating so putting it on a backburner for now#pivot time!#the izcourse#ofmd harassment#ofmd meta#our flag means death#fuck it. main tagging. more people need to think about how meta works#fandom culture#ladyluscinia
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
My MoFy ranking of 6 main adult characters' parents seen and unseen from loved to despised by me
I come and go from this site as I please. These are my personal opinions. The parents of the 6 main adults who were adults from the beginning.
1.Frank Dunphy- Always supportive and comes to things like seeing his granddaugther's boyfriend's band play in an under 21 club with his daughter in law's brother's gay partner. Always wants Phil to follow his own path and dream big. The biggest dreamer in the show.
2. Grace Dunphy- I feel like how she impacted the characters really says a lot about her. And she wanted someone to take care of Frank after she died even if that relationship didn't work out. And she's one of the few adult family members who seemed to understand and relate to Alex.
3. Jay Pritchett- Mostly high up based on his ability to change through the series. Later seasons didn't do season 5 finale Jay justice as much as it should. He still had issues with Joe's toenails being painted or Manny not being 'manly'. But he and Mitch did come to the middle a bit and I love his overall character arc.
4. Pilar Ramirez- Mainly because the next two are unseen and the rest aren't great. She's very protective of her daughter and she does care about family.
5. Fulgencio Ramirez- honestly we don't know much but from how Gloria describes him, he sounds pretty decent. He could be tied or switched with Jay's mom simply because we don't have enough info.
6. Jay's mom- She seems a bit stern as she didn't like Mitch cutting his spaghetti (depending on how old a kid is, I'd cut spaghetti so they don't choke) but definitely stuck up for Jay when he was being berated by a coach when he was a kid.
7. Merle Tucker- He did have an affair in 1977 but that was pre series and resolved off screen. He may have made a cake topper and visited willingly and given presents, he really was still uncomfortable up to the date of the wedding. We only saw him 3 episodes (2 if you count the wedding as one big episode) He couldn't even tell the two dudes that the 'father of the bride' doesn't exist because sons are gay. Granted, Jay didn't either, but Merle seems like a pretty uninvolved parent. Uninvolved to the point of letting Barb do what she wants and not paying attention to how his kids are being raised. We don't know much about Cam's other siblings, but Pam and Cam are a result of bad parenting (I know script says they do this and that and I know it's a sitcom and not that deep, but I'm a writer and this is my current fandom obsession. So it is that deep for the stories)
8. Dede Pritchett- I'll just echo something Mitch said in the crazy train episode and should've remembered "She's a scheming dragon woman hell-bent on destroying everyone around her" (I actually disliked Mitchell the most in Good Grief for dismissing how horrible Dede was to Claire)
9. Jay's dad- While Dede was a living presence, she really impacted one generation. Jay's dad impacted two. His son and grandson by emotional neglect. He's not mentioned that many times but when he is mentioned around Mitch, the redhead is silent (could just be script choice and me reading too much into it-shush, my opinion). Claire does mention him going on a racist rant about Pearl Harbor bc he saw sushi in a store in the seventies. I admit some fanon interpretations have impacted me, but I don't feel like it's a long shot to assume he was in some form mentally/emotionally abusive. There is a mentioned incident of Mitch not being able to stand salt and vinegar chips due to childhood trauma when he was seven and Cam knows since he was more concerned about Lily underperforming in a talent show at that moment and said 'can't relive this with you right now'. It could be a bully who made him eat the chips, I personally headcanon it being Mitch's grandfather forcing him after he tried one and spit it in the trash.
10. Barb Tucker- What could be worse than narcissistic, scheming dragon lady mother or man who spurred generational (at least emotional) trauma? My issues with Barb were initially just her continuous sexual assault of Mitchell (damn writers for just being ok with this) and being cheated on in the past doesn't absolve her of future crimes. What she did to Mitchell was bad enough, but I've been thinking of her impact on Cam and how not only did she baby him and treat him like the golden child, but years after Cam and Mitch were married, Barb seemingly 'still blames herself to this day' for Cam being gay because she once washed his mouth out with soap in the shape of (leaning tower of Pisa or Eiffel tower). So that got me thinking is she trying to scare Mitch away and somehow turn her son straight? Barb will always be the character I dislike most on this show. More than Pam because it's at least partially her fault Pam and Cam are so 'high and mighty' . Yes, even more than Gil Thorpe.
#modern family#cameron tucker#mitchell pritchett#jay pritchett#gloria pritchett#claire dunphy#phil dunphy#pls take with grain of salt or mountain of salt#reviews
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thoughts on MLP Make Your Mark Chapter 4, Ep 2: Top Remodel
This was a busy episode with many threads: Sunny learning that being a leader means you can't please everyone, Pipp and Hitch clearing rats out of the old Canterlogic factory, Zipp examining Twilight Sparkle's message, and Misty wrestling with her reluctance to follow Opaline's orders and kidnap Sparky.
The last two plotlines were definitely the most interesting, but I get the sense there's a playset coming up so they dutifully advertised Canterlogic, which got turned into "Canterlove Studios."
Interestingly, Sprout returned and (kind of) helped Pipp and Hitch with the rat infestation. I think this was to inform the viewers that he isn't going to be a background villain; he ends up giving his stamp of approval to the studio and seems to be on okay terms with the main cast. Also his family doesn't seem to own the factory anymore, since Sunny is doing whatever with it. My fanon theory is that his family had to pay restitution to Sunny for destroying her home and almost killing her with a giant robot so she now owns the place.
Oh, we also see Phyllis in the background so she's still around.
I think she's congratulating him on a good school report. I also think he plagiarized from some other pony.
Anyway, as Zipp replays Twilight Sparkle's message, she notes that Twilight said she put the magic of Equestria in "the crystals and the [static]".
My theory is they're in a tree (or maybe in nature itself?) because there's that tree in Maretime Bay that Zipp said "seemed familiar" (and there's even a picture of its blossoms on the wall), plus we get a shot of the book (from the winter holiday special) with unicorns gathered around a tree. If it's not in a tree then I don't know, maybe the Elements of Harmony are still kicking around.
Speaking of the book, I went back to the Winter Wish Day special to get a better look at it and noticed that the gilded figure on the right--which I had assumed to be a unicorn--has feathers. So she's an alicorn. The figure on the left has bone-like structures behind her head, not sure if those are meant to be wings or not. Also there's a star in the middle that looks a lot like Twilight Sparkle's symbol. So maybe the other two figures are Celestia and Luna? However the book is post-dystopia, as it also shows Zephyr Heights on the cover.
When Misty overhears the message Zipp is replaying and reports it to Opaline, Opaline describes the Unity Crystals as "conduits . . . elements . . . a very complex spell containing unity magic."
She also says that Twilight was the one who put all the magic of Equestria into the crystals. So, yeah, magicless Equestria was Twilight Sparkle's fault. On the one hand I'm not a fan of this; I don't like it when a sequel is like "Actually your heroes sucked, and they got everything wrong." (Looking at you, Star Wars sequel trilogy.) IMO they should have had Twilight live out her life as a successful monarch and then two or three rulers later everything got screwed up.
On the other hand, this dumb plan does seem exactly like something Twilight Sparkle would do, because she always had a certain naivety. I can picture how she would think it out: "There's strife between different kinds of ponies. How can I stop it? I know! Every pony loves having magic, so if magic only works when everyone is friends then the ponies will be motivated to get along! :D"
Anyway, Zipp deduces that the pony who wants the crystals must be extremely powerful--like an alicorn! I'm extremely curious to learn how much modern Equestrian ponies know about alicorns. Equestria has lost so much historical knowledge, does the general populace even remember Celestia and Luna? The townsfolk of Maretime Bay (except Sunny and her dad) didn't think it was possible that earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns had EVER gotten along, so a pony who had elements of all three breeds would probably seem outlandish. (Or a creature of nightmare.)
Random thoughts:
As in Tell Your Tale, Pipp has a love of spookiness. Did Zephyr Heights have an equivalent doll line to Monster High? (Monster Hay?) At any rate she's a fan of the Spooky Stable series.
"I ain't afraid of no ghosts!" Hee hee!
The oldest pony in Bridlewood is Elderflower.
Misty makes a junk-pony so she has someone to talk to. Oh Misty . . . She reluctantly concludes that she should kidnap Sparky even if it will make the other ponies sad. "After all, they already have each other." Man, that really tugged my heartstrings.
aw no, now I'm sadder
#G5#spoilers#Make Your Mark#My Little Pony#Misty Brightdawn#Sunny Starscout#Hitch Trailblazer#Pipp Petals#Twilight Sparkle#Opaline#Sparky#alicorns
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey I was wondering, by your example of the harmful design does what if! Loki sort of follow this harmful trope? I know this is based on aos loki but just as an example that kind of thing.
And also I’ve seen a lot of jotnar portrayed with minimal clothing and mostly only armor in like canon media not just fanon and I thought that was purely because they are more immune to the cold and don’t need to try and get warm but I may be mistaken. Are you saying that is also harmful or just if it is sexualized?
These questions are purely just to understand your meaning and not to be critical or anything! Thanks so much! This event looks super fun!
hi, yes! good [timezone.] no worries, i'm very happy to answer questions & please forgive if my syntax is weird today, i have a chronic disability which causes some brain fog during flare-ups so my sentence structure might not be the most elegant. i WAS given a superpower to counter this (a disability which, for our purposes here, i will sum up as "it makes my vocabulary big") but for the sake of clarity i'll be responding with a bit of a shortened version of all of my thoughts so that it makes a little bit more sense. i can go more in-depth at a later time if needed
under the cut, summary:
What If jötnar are not nearly AS bad as a lot of the jötun art i've seen in fanon and canon so it gets a very hesitant green-light from me. and also the issue with putting jötnar in minimal clothes is that artists still tend to choose to dress them in clothing items that are associated with racist and offensive depictions of real-life people
+ some of my personal ideas about what jötnar might wear
the jötnar in What If do rely on some of the same antiblack and anti-american indigenous stereotypes that we see in the comics but their designs aren't NEARLY as caricature-y as the comic book designs are and they do a better job at making it look like something an alien would wear. still bad, but not NEARLY as bad as the comics, i'd give it a very hesitant green light
the main issue with jötnar being depicted in minimal clothing is that oftentimes, the artists choose clothing specifically related to these racist stereotypes to evoke imagery of the Assumed lifestyle of both the jötnar and the real life people who are affected by the stereotypes. this is an obviously satirical example because my brain isn't working well enough to think of a more genuine one, but it wouldn't be a problem if someone drew their jötnar to be running around in heart-print boxers pin-up posing, you know? the issue is largely that people make the choice to draw them in long sheer skirts draped with gold like orientalist stereotypes of women, or in loincloths and furs and bone piercings in their noses.
basically there are all sorts of ways to visually get across their cold immunity, and have them dressed minimally, without putting them in skirts and loincloths and stuff
----- the stuff down here ⬇️ are just my personal thoughts and dont have any bearing on the actual contest, just some of my ideas that you can read for fun if you so desire
and this is definitely more of a personal thing, but i don't Personally think it makes much sense to have jötnar dressed in minimal clothing even if they are immune to the cold. this is just because, snow still melts haha. so i don't think it makes too much logical sense to have them barefoot and without any sort of cloak to protect them from the weather. plus, light reflects off of snow and is known to give people sunburns, ao i like to cover up their skin too <- this however is all optional. it's fiction and it doesn't need to be really very practical it's just the sort of thing i enjoy thinking about so i wanted to share my thoughts
i defo do not have the spoons to bust out a thor mini so you're just going to have to use your imagination but this outfit i drew them in is also like all kinds of impractical for a human or an asgardian to wear in the snow :') i mean can you imagine going out into a blizzard wearing latex and an underboob window? i imagine that thor would be wearing fur-lined leather coats and thick pants and three layers of socks and heavy duty boots next to this bitch ⬇️
this isn't my definitive loki design though. i have a lot of thoughts bumping around in my head and art that i havent posted (and probably won't post) and this ⬆️ was just a quick example i busted out to give a visual difference
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
for the choose violence ask meme 😘: 9, 10, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22. if this is too many, feel free to pick and choose 💌
OOH okay!!!! I, of course, will answer every single one of these, I have Opinions and am always waiting for any opportunity to share lmao. (These are all for wwdits, and also I am on desktop so please imagine my usual unhealthy amounts of emojis for emphasis/joking cadence, thank u)
9.worst part of canon
The lack of consistency/follow through with pretty basic plot points. For example, Laszlo literally says "God" in the pilot, but then also flinches when Guillermo crosses his fingers in the same episode? Nandor can turn into vapor but can't escape the cage in Animal Control? (we can assume that one is because they're all Big Dumb). Colin Robinson has parents - that are still living??? And of course the glossing over of the year abroad. (but that's my television-wide gripe. I HATE time skips, no matter the show. They're lazy and tell me that you didn't actually know what to do with your plot). I could go on, there are lots.
I will accept the girl wives/guy wives change. That was pure Nandor and I loved it.
10. worst part of fanon
Listen. I love the drama. I LOVE the angst. This is a *comedy show*. We are never going to get the huge, dramatic, heart-wrenching love confession and hour-long sex scene that some fans are actually expecting. Like it can *absoluely* have serious moments, but please lower your expectations. This show averages like 4 shit jokes per episode.
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
Forgive me everyone, but Jackie Daytona. Hilarious episode, I love Laszlo so fucking much and Mark Hamill as a vampire is everything I didn't know I needed. But I really do. not. need. another. episode. It was perfect as is. Let it lie.
(also Laszlo has some WAY better lines/arcs outside of his one episode where he was essentially someone else)
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art
Ooh, for fic... I love when people play with the characters/situations from canon a bit. Not necessarily a full AU, but taking some element and asking "what if this happened instead"? I love that.
And there are absolutely no personal biases here, absolutely none, but I would love to see more traditional media fanart. Gimme some paintings, some linocut prints, watercolors, anything! I love to see it.
18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
I'm combining these two, since they're kind of similar. I feel like there's SO MUCH that everyone appreciates, it's hard to come up with something that people have fully ignored.
But I think one of my FAVORITE parts of the show is when they combine actual artwork with images of the characters. My whole life is art history, so I geek out a bit every. Single. Time. I LOVE the attention to detail, and every time I go to an art museum (which is fairly often) I can't help but wonder where the characters could fit in.
It ALSO makes me OBSESS over what contemporary artist would paint vampire Guillermo. I've definitely already made a post about this, but my current bid is for Alejandro Pasquale.
(EDIT: Another artist I think would be great is Ben Ashton. His visuals with the classical style would be so interesting to see hanging next to the actual old artwork in the mansion)
19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
I'm not ashamed about it, but since I somehow still see hate over a year later, I want to voice my support for s4. The lighting? GORGEOUS. The costumes/practical effects? STUNNING. College-me that thought I was going to be a theatre set designer could write BOOKS on the changes they made to the house, let alone the club and night market.
Yes, the time skip pissed me off. Yes, there's the entire Marwa/Freddie can of worms. But literally everything else was incredible and the characters had SO MUCH growth. They are so much closer to the family we've been desperate for them to be since s1 because of s4.
7 notes
·
View notes
Note
✒️ the muse's canon📝 the muse's fanon📖 a popular headcanon regarding my muse
I mean her Canons why I fell in love with her to begin with, but I'm hoping she has more interesting things to do/say in the DLC coming out soon!
Honestly I kinda hate her fanon, and the people who follow it are so staunch in it that they're aggressive and rude as a result. I love seeing people make headcanons about her, but when I first started this blog almost a year ago, I got people left, right and center assuming she was trans and also a lesbian- as if that was canon fact, and when I said she was neither I got more asks asking me WHY.
Like if thats how you wanna portray her, by all means, knock yourself out, but please for the love of god stop trying to force it on me.
Honestly idk about her headcanons because I actively avoid them now because of the upper statement, but one I've seen on twitter from the Japanese fandom is that she has slightly sharper canines.
It's usually used for the trope of spunky/mischievious characters but I've seen plenty of art where both of them are sharper and I love that idea- especially with how close mine is with her Garchomp. Displays a deep bond with her pokemon, I think.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
wait why don't u like it?
i assume you mean: why don't i like 'miley is a lesbian hc'? i have summarized my issues prior, but the main gist of it is that -
miley is confirmed to have had a man as a romantic interest prior to asunaro's induction...
Emiri Harai is satisfied at present. Extracting her will prove more difficult. The biggest reason is the presence of the man she is considering marrying at her workplace. If we can't win her over, there's only one thing to do.
Namely, to drive her "beloved" mad.
...this leaves primary speculation of her sexuality to lean upon her behavior. throughout the game, she's known to be sadistic and overtly cruel (primary example being her treatment of kanna). similarly to reko, in fan works she is often solely simplified to the "mean, man-hating lesbian" stereotype. reko, for her interactions with mishima and keiji in particular; miley for her active distaste toward kai, present in even ytts.
reko doesn't 'hate men'. nor is she as abrasive or rude as she's often made out to be. she dislikes the strong who won't take initiative for the weak - and that often tends to be placed upon adults who are meant to keep themselves together and be willing to give themselves up in a nearly-hopeless situation like this. reko is the eldest woman of the group. nao is only 19; sara and kanna are school-age. i am sure she would expect just as much out of someone such as megumi as she does with keiji, had she survived.
miley's resentment toward kai is specifically for his resistance when he stood up for kanna in the midst of miley's berating. he risked himself to reveal to the group that the agents cannot harm participants physically aside from predesignated rules. this is likely what sparked kutaro's attempt to physically restrain miley so kai could finish his last message to sara.
the two issues with these characters in particular overlap. and not solely with yttd fans - it's a trend i am personally sick of seeing people who aren't lesbians follow. they will flatten reko to be an overly-aggressive lesbian, while nao is the soft one. it is the only two ways that people seem to know to characterize us, and it gets incredibly grating after a time.
i don't care or mind if you think emiri is sapphic. that's perfectly fine! where i take issue is with non-lesbians consistently taking the "meanest" (whether canonical or a common, flattened fanon-interpretation) woman and slapping the word lesbian on her without a second thought. as if it's interchangeable.
i don't often care about other people's interpretations - especially not their lgbtq hcs. but this situation in particular wears on me after the years i have seen the subtle (or. occasionally, not so subtle. especially with fictional women of color where it overlaps in racism) lesbophobia. it's confirmed she had romantic interest in a man that was likely genuine and could not be easily swayed with money or other services which asunaro could substitute. that is why the organization opted to mess with the romantic interest himself, to ruin her emotional attachment so they would have an easier time manipulating her. at the least, accept she would be bisexual if she were sapphic; and please rethink your bias over lesbians.
#this is long-winded ahh...and written on mobile so i apologize for any errors#i can answer more stuff if need be once i get home but i hope this suffices. i did try to cover all my bases#ask#anonymous#yttdposting#long post
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
Random opinions that I just felt like talking about:
- Calling out people’s sexist and racist biases is good; assuming that the reason they dislike a certain character or the character’s actions/overall writing because they’re sexist or racist is NOT good. Give people the benefit of the doubt and see what they actually mean cuz sometimes English isn’t a person’s first language so what they mean to say comes out as something completely hostile or offensive.
- Preferring the jp/CN dub does not make you superior. Having a voice over preference is fine; acting like you’re all high and mighty for having one isn’t
- Forcing your headcanons on someone isn’t good. I don’t think I need to add anything more regarding this
- Constantly bickering over which archon is the ‘strongest’ is lame. Mihoyo has yet to set a power scale and they have not revealed enough lore regarding the archon’s abilities or where their personal power comes from not have they shared enough details about the archon’s battles, so fighting about it is dumb.
- ‘Blackwashing’ isn’t real. No, it isn’t the same as Whitewashing. No, it’s not taking away representation from ‘Asians.’ It’s how people online have hijacked conversations about racism in media and art by taking a term such as ‘Whitewashing’ which is tied to analyzing the portrayal and depictions of poc alongside a socio-political context. ‘Blackwashing’ is how media illiterate people attempt to shut down fans of colour from making their own fanon content by adding representation since the canon lacks any necessary skin based diversity. (Side eyeing all those East Asians and Europeans who make tiktok accounts dedicated to erasing fanon edits of playable characters as black or with dark skin. Y’all fucking suck)
- Being an asshole about someone speaking a different language in co-op mode is a horrible thing to do (looking at all those tiktok posts bashing Russian players in co-op mode for speaking their language); it’s one thing to call someone out for being rude and mean and thinking they can get away by speaking in a different language but it’s a completely separate thing to just bash and complain about players going about their time in co-op mode speaking a language you can’t understand
- The EN dub VAs being problematic doesn’t erase the fact that the CN and JP dub VAs have also done and said similar things. So please stop saying idiotic sentences such as ‘thank god I use the jp/cn dub’ whenever an EN VA is exposed for acting deviant. I guarantee you that the same JP/CN VAs for those characters probably have done shitty things as well but you don’t know about it because you most likely do not speak their language nor are you likely to be involved in the JP/CN fandoms in the first place
- You can care about meta, and it is necessary to care about meta so that mihoyo gets relevant criticisms on the overall gameplay and structure. With that being said, bashing other player’s damage is extremely shitty. Not everyone has the same priorities while playing. Some only play for the aesthetic, some play for the lore, some play to hang out with their friends, etc etc. So if you see a random person online showing you a clip of their gameplay and your first thought is to type out some passive aggressive comments about their low mediocre damage then I suggest you learn to scroll whenever these kinds of thoughts arise. Most of the damage revolves around artifacts, which have a horrible system in genshin. So if you’re bothered by players not following the meta, then go off on mihoyo’s ass instead for not implementing a fair system that guarantees players proper artifacts.
- Not being a shipper doesn’t make you better than others. ‘Shipping ruins everything’, no it does not. Fans can ruin anything as seen with how meta obsessed players have contributed to creating a toxic online environment where people hesitate from showing their gameplay out of fear of being attacked for their builds and team comps. Toxicity is not limited to a single part of the fandom. Yes shippers can be toxic, but if you don’t like any of them or their content, then it becomes an individual responsibility to block the respective tags, shippers, and their overall content. Complaining about generally shipping makes you seem as a loveless, unimaginative person whose misery lies in being unable to control the stuff they interact with online
- The previous one also applies to shippers. If you are not a fan of a ship, then it is your responsibility to scroll past those posts, to block the shippers for that ship, and to carefully avoid engaging in that ship’s content to avoid getting its stuff on your recommended or fyp. Don’t go commenting utter nonsense on posts dedicated to the ship that you dislike. Fans work hard on making fanart, animatics, edits, etc., so let them have their moments to appreciate their fav ships without dealing with unnecessary negativity.
- Stop associating the VAs with their characters. (Not necessarily about Elliot’s situation but an overall pattern I’ve noticed in the fandom). Disliking Childe because Griffin plays him means you are an immature person who cannot understand that voice acting is just acting, and that no matter how much the VAs interact with the fanbase for the characters they voice, they will never be the actual characters themselves. So complaining about the characters because of the VAs who voice them is dumb. Same with the people who dislike Paimon because of Corina. You can like/dislike any character you want but if your reason exists because of issues with the VA then you need to gain some common sense and learn that these fictional characters are not represented by their VAs
- Going back to the topic of meta, if you see players complaining and criticizing a character’s kit, mihoyo’s tendency to release characters without their adequate supports, or if you see criticisms on character designs (I mean appearances), or criticisms about writing. If you see any of this, and your first response is to go completely defensive because the complaints and criticisms are about a character that you personally like, then you need to learn to do one of two things. 1) if you see any of such content as negative and you feel that it will affect your feelings towards the character, then scroll 2) grow up and accept nuance. You can admit that sometimes there are aspects of a character that are great and some aspects that are bad. If you complain about people pointing the flaws with a character’s kit/writing/lore/design, then I’m going to assume you are a child whose screen time should be restricted and monitored. If you see these things and immediately go defensive, then you need to log off because these sorts of attitudes heavily influence in preventing companies from ever improving on their performance. They know they can release a character with flaws in any aspect and it won’t matter cuz people will defend the character due to personal dedication. Don’t fucking do this. I don’t care how in love you are with a character, if you get upset or defend a character for their shitty writing, overused recycled design elements, etc etc., then remember that your defensive reaction over valid criticisms and concerns is only gonna harm the game in the long run because that one opinion is gonna join the collection of similar takes from other fans and it’ll be so grand that mihoyo will see it as a pass for being able to get away with being lazy and negligent (this has already started happening, but I fear it’s only going to get worse)
#genshin impact#genshin fandom#mihoyo#hoyoverse#alhaitham#nahida#raiden shogun#sumeru#liyue#mondstadt#inazuma#zhongli#venti#voice acting#genshin va#genshin critique#‘blackwashing’#whitewashing#shipping#shipping discourse#genshin meta#ships#ship#genshin gameplay#polearm#genshin english dub#genshin cn dub#jp dub#genshin ships#mypost
16 notes
·
View notes
Note
Please rant about why you didn't like how chapter 14 characterized Caramel arrow. I may not have gotten to it because I'm still stuck in chapter 11 but I'd love to hear it.
pls rb!! i put a lot of thought and effort into these posts!
was talking to a friend. this is a. Horrid mash of copy/pasted stuff from discord dms paired with me typing in new shit to bridge gaps and add points but. under cut again! probably some talk abt murder and violence [but its against affo mainly so its okay /JOKE] but mainly to save space on dashes since i type a lot
also note that i tend to call caramel arrow carrow. it just rolls off my mental tounge better and its easier to speedrun typing
in my fanon i've also added magnolia into her story but. for the sake of arguement i'll leave her and any magnolia-related changes out. but yeah they canonically kiss devsis told me /lh
ill add more if i think of anything
shes a static character. NOTE. static characters are NOT inherently bad. but she has so much potential for being fucked up and questioning her loyalties and shit.
as she stands she is just. There. she does a little bit of girlbossing but ESPECIALLy in chapter 14 she is just there to go its okay dark cacao ur doing the right thing it is alright u are okay :] and she doesnt even get resolution with affo. iirc they dont even rlly get a confrontation he just. Runs away. these r my main problems but ill get into a lot of wasted potential later.
ill be so mad forever and ever they didn't let carrow kill affogato. like. she had a straight shot in the end when his sheilds were down and he was just trying to get away. ut she just goes "OHHH NO AFFOGATO IS GETTING AWAYYYYY" like babygirl you are the first watcher. What are you doing. i get that cr doesnt have the balls to violently kill him on screen but like u could have shot him and left him for dead at least. Like. .... idk. red velvet gets a crossbolt bolt to the face in TOSC its not too out there. but even then carrow seems like the type to want to kill someone cleanly and effectively no matter WHAT they did so she doesnt stoop to their level. so as far as my fanon goes she shot him thru the head when he was trying to escape. like again i know canon wouldn't do that but it is dissapointing to see nothing happen with him and carrow's arc
yet another injustice to carrow's character. shes just. There honestly. like she doesnt DO ANYTHING. shes kinda just [woman standing discord emoji] you could honestly remove her from the plot without much difference which is. REALLY FUCKING SAD considering that she was so hyped up and is playable.
her only real character trait is 'loyal to dark cacao'. which falls flat considering DARK CACAO IS FUCKED UP?? like i know affo is manipulating him or whatever but he had to have been at an incredibly low point in the first place - likely caused by dark choco's betrayel and the stress of losing so much , including many of his watchers, to the war.
the main missed potential i see: the missed potential with her and dark choco. it's heavily implied he was very very close with her - and her mentor. she even has a line abt him being the one who taught her how to use a bow. it's p easy to assume he's the person who trained her and could probably be considered her non-blood informal older brother or maybe an idol. [i prefer the former but. Yeah]
have her loyalty be split between the king who deeply hurt his people for decades [since even before affo i doubt it was good considering i can only IMAGINE how fucked up the kingdom was afrer the DFW with their watchers presumaby spread incredibly thin after so many losses] and FUCKING EXILED HER regardless of affo's imput and the prince who trained and partially raised her but has done so much fucked up shit and lost his path
NEITHER of them are good people. at least completely. do they deserve her loyalty? is she reeally doing good by following anyone?? is bias by being close to the royals clouding her judgement? she can't answer those questions
but No. dark cacao good everyine else bad :3. so dissapointing
this is becoming more of a stretch but this is more a thinly veiled excuse to talk abt my fanon because i make her character so much cooler and sexier but. Ya!
also not to say she was probably a trainee or barely out of training when dark choco betrayed everyone when he was probably her older brother figure andddd probably got shoehorned into the position of first watcher too fast since dark cacao was in such deep paranoia after getting betrayed by his own son he couldn't trust anyone short of who was practically his own daughter but. Ya! would have fucked.
her cutscene thing says she became the first watcher at an incredibly young age. u can assume in canon that just means that she was so capable she earned it so early on but like. You could ALSO take rlly fucked up implications from that if you wanted to. like. Yeah.
also i dont have as thorough thoughts on this but. it's sad that we didnt see much of her relationship with the other watchers. its obvious that they miss her, care about her, and are still loyal to her. i've always thought it was a really interesting thing that despite her exile and presumably being stripped of her title they all still call her first watcher. resisting the urge to talk abt her and magnolia so i wont but like. scenes with the other watchers could have rlly helped this!!!
oh also if you ship carrow x affogato get the fuck off this post i actually hate you fuck you fuck yo ufuck yuyou fuck you. Die.
thats all i remember for now. Bye girl.
#sky rambles#cookie run#crk#cookie run kingdom#cookie run oc#[i guess??? i have a magnolia ramble post waiting to be finished in my drafts. youll get more of her i prommy]#caramel arrow cookie#dark cacao cookie#dark choco cookie#affogato cookie
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would you do Aredhel, Nerdanel, Amrod, Celegorm, Maglor, Amras Beren, Luthien, Namo, Sauron, Morgoth, Melian, Thingol, Daeron, and Mim for the ask game please? (I apologize for the laundry list; I'm just really curious about what you think about them!) (I'm not intending for them to be done all at once!)
That is quite a list. Okay, let's try to do this, but I apologize for the length. I've tried my best to be brief but if you follow me you know I don't know how to shut up. You can watch in real time how I manage to be concise for a little bit and then gradually derange into rambling
Already done: Ambarussa and Luthien
Aredhel
Sexuality Headcanon: Straight, allo, just very vanilla
Gender Headcanon: She's cis in both identity and presentation, but aggressively anti restrictive gender roles
A ship I have with said character: Lowkey Eol in a messed up way (exactly in what way they're messed up changes depending on my mood), but I'm generally uninterested in shipping Aredhel
A BROTP I have with said character: *gestures broadly at the Finwean family tree* All my shipping interest with this character went into family brotps I think! I'll just highlight a somewhat unusual relationship I'm really interested in: Curufin. Oh, and Idril.
A NOTP I have with said character: In terms of romantic, none. In terms of friendship - Aredhel & Galadriel. I have complex thoughts about their relationship but I actively dislike them as besties.
A random headcanon: I've spoken a little about this before, but you know the relationship Celegorm has with Orome? I headcanon Aredhel has something similar with Nessa
General Opinion over said character: I have no idea why I don't talk about her more often, because I find her super interesting. I'm very particular about fanon takes on her, but I'm very much into canon!Aredhel
Nerdanel
Sexuality Headcanon: I don't actually vibe with the Kinsey scale, but for the sake of simplicity: she's like a 1. I don't think she would label herself as anything more detailed than queer, though
Gender Headcanon: It's complicated. Other people might assume she's gnc, but she's cis. She's just... not very good at performing Valinorean gender, and generally interested in trying very hard to. But she very much identifies as female
A ship I have with said character: FEANOR!!! And that's it. But that's one of my favorite otps across all my fandoms
A BROTP I have with said character: ...also Feanor. Her children as well. MAHTAN. Aule. My completely made up post-Darkening friendship between Nerdanel and Manwe
A NOTP I have with said character: Anaire and/or Earwen. I'm not a huge fan of them as friends (I find it more interesting if they are not) and I'm definitely not into them as romantic ship(s)
A random headcanon: She has a pad and charcoal with her pretty much at all times and is semi-constantly taking down quick sketches of things that interest her. They're studies for future sculptures, but she favors abstract sculptures so very few people can see the relationship between sketches and final products
General Opinion over said character: Love of my life. Blorbo. I once worked myself up to tears just by thinking about her tragedy. Would kill and die for her.
Celegorm
Sexuality Headcanon: Pan but also poly (in the sense of polyamory), which is a major taboo in Valinor and messes him up quite a bit.
Gender Headcanon: I'm a huge fan of transmasc Celegorm tbh, I have a whole post about it
A ship I have with said character: None? Not in particular. I deeply enjoy the idea of Celegorm, in one of his creepiest moments, deciding if he ever can become Not Poly, it will be by loving Luthien, the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, who comes with a crown. But that's not a ship, that's a plot point headcanon, I wouldn't even want this plot point to last long.
A BROTP I have with said character: Other than his family? Orome, I guess. I will say, though, that I enjoy Celegorm getting along with his cousins more than other Feanorians do
A NOTP I have with said character: Aredhel. I like him seeing her as a little sister so much I genuinely forget this is a popular ship until I see it
A random headcanon: Adores children. Ever since childhood, he just loves everyone who's younger than him. And yes, he's fun and has unusual ideas about safety, but he's actually extremely protective and will never put a child in actual danger. He gives them the illusion of danger without ever actually endangering them
General Opinion over said character: I mean, my blog is like 90% Feanorians at some points, do you even have to ask? I love him. My own son, I love him
Maglor
Sexuality Headcanon: I have two answers for this. The actual headcanon is bi. The funny headcanon is that he's aroace but assumes he's pan because "equal amounts of attraction equals pan, right?" when the amount of attraction is actually zero. The reason why this is funny is because I always headcanon Maedhros as aroace, and I deeply enjoy the idea of the two of them having the same identity but having no clue of it until like, halfway through adulthood
Gender Headcanon: Very much cismale
A ship I have with said character: Daeron, but in a very specific way, and it's a ship I enjoy a lot, but not quite an otp
A BROTP I have with said character: As with all Finweans, his whole family. I have to mention kidnap fam, but I only enjoy it if it's messed up. Also - Daeron again
A NOTP I have with said character: His semi-canonical spouse. I never remember they exist and when I do, I just say "No, thanks."
A random headcanon: Absolutely deadly on the battlefield. He doesn't enjoy violence, but being ruthless won't keep him up at night. And mercy killings are kind of his thing.
General Opinion over said character: Same as Celegorm - my own son. But I feel like almost all the headcanons I have about Maglor are almost the opposite of the most popular fanons
Beren
Sexuality Headcanon: ...PTSD. No, just kidding. But kind of not. I headcanon Beren simply hasn't had the opportunity to even meet people he could conceivably be attracted to. I headcanon him as bi, but does he know that? Nope. As far as he's concerned, he's stayingalivesexual at first and then Luthiensexual later
Gender Headcanon: Cis, but after his first death, he generally stops caring and is curious enough about Luthien's weird, half-Maia gender to try out some minor gender presentation things. But it does nothing for him, really, he's just curious and after trying it once he pretty much loses interest. A case could be made for some flavor of enby.
A ship I have with said character: Luthien, of course. Daeron/Beren is a crackship that I take more seriously every time I joke about it and one of these days I'll end up unironically getting into it and crying over the tragedy of it all
A BROTP I have with said character: Barahir's outlaws as a group. Finrod and his elves, too. Thingol and Melian (trust me, I can make it work.) And I have many thoughts about him and Dior. As always, I gravitate around family groups. Oh, and I have an entire au in my head where he basically adopts Turin, and I love it
A NOTP I have with said character: Interestingly, Finrod. They have a lot of elements that usually would make them otp material for me, but somehow I can't get into it
A random headcanon: Could give some of the best archers in Tolkien a run for their money
General Opinion over said character: From my hyperspecific ramblings you can probably guess I'm always thinking about him. I love him both for who he is and for how he parallels ten thousand characters. Parallels make brain go brr
Namo
Sexuality Headcanon: Vala. I headcanon no Vala can feel attraction, romantic or sexual. They experience attraction rather in the way their roles in the Song are structured, and I can't wrap my mind around it
Gender Headcanon: Similar to the above. I headcanon the Valar only really started doing gender based on their understanding of how the Children of Iluvatar would be like, and they're all outside of the gender spectrum we could understand. No, they aren't agender, either. Nor xenogender. They're Something Else.
A ship I have with said character: Again, none. Vaire, I suppose, but that falls between ship and brotp
A BROTP I have with said character: See above on Vaire. Other relationships I enjoy are Lorien and Nienna, as well as Manwe
A NOTP I have with said character: Um... none? Nothing I can think of
A random headcanon: He's gentler with the dead than with the living. Not because he's awkward or anything. He's just conscious of the power he has over the dead and is more careful not to misuse it, while the living are free real estate to treat in any way he sees fit depending on the person
General Opinion over said character: I love the Valar in general, although they break my brain. Mandos is one of the ones I think the least often about, but whenever I do think about him I go "Oh he's fun, I should think about him more often!"
Sauron
Sexuality Headcanon: See Namo. I think Maiar can feel attraction, though, it's just extremely rare, and tends to be for other Maiar. I headcanon Sauron is one of those who has never felt any kind of non-Song-related attraction towards anyone, really. But he's keenly aware of how to be attractive and enjoys it, but from a power rush standpoint only
Gender Headcanon: See Namo again. But I think Sauron finds gender annoyingly messy (what do you mean each culture sees it differently? That's inefficient. No.) and struggles to commit to it in the way most other other Ainur do. Left to his own devices he nopes out of gender; when he's among people (eg Eregion, or Numenor) he performs gender perfectly while finding the whole thing absurd. He defaults to male gender exclusively because of the societal benefits; he would default to female in a matriarchal society, probably.
A ship I have with said character: None
A BROTP I have with said character: Um... Also none? I deeply enjoy the idea of Morgoth and Sauron being a twisted version of Manwe and Eonwe (which is a brotp I have) but it's not a brotp as much as a trainwreck dynamic. I also enjoy Sauron and Celebrimbor having messed up dynamics, but again, trainwreck. Aule and Sauron can be fun but I'm picky.
A NOTP I have with said character: I'm not at all into Sauron being actively in love with someone, so. All of them.
A random headcanon: Ironically for a crafter, he sort of. sucks. at creating realistic fanar for himself. He always ends up in uncanny valley territory due to compulsively wanting to have no flaws - he looks computer-generated, basically. He was better at this when the world was young, but the more he corrupts himself, the worst he becomes at it (while he still can change his fana, anyway)
General Opinion over said character: I wouldn't say I don't like Sauron, but I'm fairly uninterested in straight up villains, while being uninterested in making Sauron anything but the embodiment of a specific kind of evil (though that depends on when in the timeline we're talking about), so I tend not to give him too much thought. He's fun to play with, though, philosophically speaking
Morgoth
Sexuality Headcanon: Again. Vala. Does not apply.
Gender Headcanon: Vala. Does not apply. But he's a huge fan of how gender opens the door for comprehensive oppression in new and fresh ways. Up there with jewelry in the list of best things the elves came up with.
A ship I have with said character: Oh, none. I can crackship him and Gothmog exclusively because I think it'd be funny to ship an Angband ship that isn't Angbang, but that's just to laugh about, I wouldn't be interested in actually exploring it
A BROTP I have with said character: Like I said, Sauron, in a twisting of a Vala-Maia relationship. MANWE MANWE MANWE MANWE. Nienna. Recently, Indis. Hate-brotp with too many characters to count - I love people pissing Morgoth off
A NOTP I have with said character: None? All? I'm unlikely to either enjoy a Morgoth ship or hate it enough to run away
A random headcanon: He genuinely cannot feel love anymore, but he badly wants Manwe under his command because their connection is part of the fabric of the universe, and servitude is the only way Morgoth can conceptualize wanting Manwe near now he can't understand brotherhood anymore (actually I should make a post about this, I have many thoughts on this)
General Opinion over said character: Pretty much exactly the same opinion as what I said about Sauron, but I'll add Book of Lost Tales Melko entertains me a lot
Melian
Sexuality Headcanon: One of the rare Maiar who feels attraction, and the Ainur judge her for directing it at an elf. Having said that, Thingol is an anomaly, and she is attracted to no other being in the world, although she intellectually understands the concept of attraction better than most Ainur
Gender Headcanon: Maia. Does not apply, really, but she delights in something similar to elven womanhood. She would probably consider herself trans, though, because she's chasing a gender euphoria that she does not get with whatever is going on with the Ainur concept of gender
A ship I have with said character: Thingol. That's literally it.
A BROTP I have with said character: Essentially anyone who's ever stepped in Doriath, I kid you not. The instant someone steps in Doriath I start inventing a relationship they could have with Melian. Also, Yavanna and Orome
A NOTP I have with said character: Um... none? ...actually. Thingol/Melian done wrong. I nope out of a lot of portrayals of them as much as I get into portrayals of them I enjoy.
A random headcanon: Her voice is rather deep and quiet and creepily melodic. It's the clearest giveaway she's not actually an elf
General Opinion over said character: I have always enjoyed Melian, but the older I get, the more fond I become of her tbh. Not sure why but it's been a clear tendency for the past decade of my life
Thingol
Sexuality Headcanon: Uh... queer. Some flavor of. But I can't pin it down and I think he definitely wouldn't.
Gender Headcanon: Manflux, but on an elvish scale of time. He can occasionally spend a mortal lifetime without any changes to how he feels about his gender, for example
A ship I have with said character: Melian. Other than that, Finwe (sometimes including Miriel as an OT3, but I tend to headcanon Thingol/Miriel as qp)
A BROTP I have with said character: Same as Melian - everybody who's ever been in Doriath. Also his family (Thingol and Elwe in particular break my heart), and Finwe and Ingwe
A NOTP I have with said character: Same as Melian: Thingol/Melian done wrong. I don't know, I feel like there are some ships I'd consider notps, but none is coming to mind
A random headcanon: Local tall elf uses disturbing height to perfect the art of forehead kisses. No, really. Not many people get them but it's pretty unforgettable if you can manage to get one. (This goes hand-in-hand with my headcanon forehead kisses were the go-to way to wish someone well in Cuivienen, and that tradition stuck in most of Beleriand, though not in Aman.)
General Opinion over said character: I really like him! I mean, very flawed character who is doing his best but that's really inadequate for the situations he finds himself in? That's My Type. I can also be very protective of him because I think he has enough flaws without people bad-faith interpretations of every single thing he does. (But also he's a mess, don't make him perfect either. I'm picky.)
Daeron
Sexuality Headcanon: Demi
Gender Headcanon: You know what? This is the first time I'm thinking about Daeron's gender. I have no idea. Masc-presenting, I think, but there's something... unusual about how I picture his gender? Like, I would describe his gender as "boy" very comfortably, but "man" feels off, but I don't headcanon him as particularly childish, so I don't know. Something.
A ship I have with said character: When it's done in the particular way I like, Luthien. As I've mentioned, I might end up going for Daeron/Beren too. I've mentioned Daeron/Maglor, too. And I'm not sure whether to go on ship or on brotp but I have a friend who is trying to sell me on qp Beleg/Daeron and they're being successful
A BROTP I have with said character: LUTHIEN LUTHIEN LUTHIEN. Thingol and Melian. Occasionally, I get in a mood to explore Beleg and Mablung too. Oh, Maglor, too, in a specific way.
A NOTP I have with said character: None?
A random headcanon: There is not a person Daeron has ever met he cannot make laugh or at least smile given enough time
General Opinion over said character: I'M A PROUD MEMBER OF THE DAERON DEFENSE SQUAD. I'm just that meme of the samurai holding the cat, you know the one? I love him so much and people are so mean to him. Also, I draw a lot of my characterization for him by comparing the evolution of other Leithian characters through drafts, and considering how Daeron might have evolved if Tolkien gave him as much attention as I wish he had - and that's just intellectually fun
Mim
Are you part of the rock opera discord?
Sexuality & Gender Headcanon: Lumping these together because I'm so torn. I have headcanons about how dwarrow genders work but they're very... Durin line-centric. I'm not sure how much they'd apply to Mim's own culture, nor how he would relate to genders outside of his own culture. So um... I guess further worldbuilding is required for me to be able to answer this.
A ship I have with said character: SIGH. I hate my life, but. Mim/Finrod. Listen. It has potential. It has! The tragedy of it al!!!!! (Let this be a lesson that if you crackship something for long enough you'll end up really shipping it.) I could also, I think, ship Mim/Beleg but exclusively in the context of a mutually destructive ship where Mim is just taking out his Finrod issues on somebody else and Beleg..... no idea, I haven't thought that far. The ship has just now occurred to me, don't ask difficult questions.
A BROTP I have with said character: I very much enjoy his relationship with Turin and the rest of his crew, but it's very important that not a single person under Mim's roof behaves in a hinged way, so jot that down. (I also wish I spent more time thinking about his relationship with his sons, but I haven't really done that yet.)
A NOTP I have with said character: None. Listen, after Mim/Finrod I think it's been conclusively proved I will ship Mim with anyone given enough incentive
A random headcanon: He enjoys epic poetry/music as defined by his people. I feel very strongly about it. It's important to him, and the loss of the songs he's never learned grieves him.
General Opinion over said character: I've been looking forward to meeting him in my CoH re-read! I find him very tragic, and he always reminds me Norse mythology, which I used to love as a child. Also, I have to read his Complaint one of these days, if I can find a re-translation and the right mood to read it
11 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
twfls168
時尚品味生活誌
nicohii
nico
naveenlohara
NAVEEN LOHARA
bilibliophl
The sweet smell of paper and printing ink
arh2000lopez-blog
Vaginas