#so much gained and so much lost I can't remember who I was before
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Quid Pro Quo | Michael Gavey x fem!reader
Summary: After being ditched by her friend at the Trinity College Christmas Party, she finds herself enthralled with learning the language of Michael Gavey | Word Count: 3.8k~ | Warnings below the cut!
Part Two: Carpe Diem
Part Three: Veni, Vidi, Vici
warnings: virgin michael, semi-public sexual conduct, oral sex (m receiving), heavy petting
If she has to listen to Professor Wardon swoon over Ancient Greek and how it ‘drove him to pursue his dreams in extending his passion to other students’, she thinks she might actually fall asleep.
She's in a good spot to do so, nestled between two other students, the one on her right seemingly just as bored as her, and conveniently hidden behind a tall, lanky first year, who sits straight, with his head perfectly obscuring hers as he fixes his posture regularly.
Several times throughout, she's checked her watch, and yet the second hand never seems to move an inch.
Professor Wardon is just about to go on a lovesick spiel about Homeric Greek when the lecture concludes with a heaved sigh from every student as they sling their hefty bags over their shoulders.
“Remember I want 2,500 words on Les Liaisons dangereuses in my pigeon hole by next Thursday, before your Christmas parties!”
“Oh joy,” she sighs with a grin to the girl walking shoulder to shoulder beside her as they leave, feeling noticeably lighter knowing that that's their last lecture before Christmas break.
“Christ, you're telling me. I can't be arsed to even right my own name at the moment, nevermind read 18th century fucking French.”
She gives a snort in reply, “Merry Christmas to us, eh? Should do what the French do and have a revolution or something.”
“Yeah, eat our lecturers or something.”
“Alright, I wouldn't go that far.”
“Anyway, I'm off to T Library, see ya, have a good Christmas and don't do anything I wouldn't!”
She waves her off as her friend disappears, the cold air of the outside nipping at her skin that manages to sneak beneath her coat.
Oxford University is not what she imagined at all. She came here very much feeling like an outsider, like there'd been some sort of paperwork mistake and it was supposed to be someone else in her place.
The imposter syndrome seemed difficult to shift, but she'd at least managed to make a couple of friends since starting in September.
Languages had always found her well, and seemingly the only thing she managed to actually understand. People were inconsistent, cruel and fickle. Languages, though they shifted and changed, were firmly rooted in reason and understanding.
As sad as it sounded, conjugating verbs, vowel shifts and rare dialects were the one thing she found herself itching to discover more about. The idea that there was more to uncover seemed exciting and scary at the same time.
And Oxford University was the best place she could be to do that.
All that said, her eagerness to get involved with her studies had left her social life with much to be desired.
In the first two weeks of university alone, she'd gained one friend and lost a boyfriend. And while they were drifting apart anyway, it was still a relatively large blow to her self-esteem and her confidence to actually get out there, socialise and make the most of her first year of freedom.
The only friends she'd made were those on her course. Priya, who'd just abandoned her to stick her nose in books about the Great Vowel Shift, and Anya, who…to be honest, rarely left her room. Seeming more like a ghost than anything else.
It was a wonder she was still a student, with how often she missed classes.
What Anya does do best, is manage to somehow rise out of her pit to drag her to Christmas parties that aren't even run by their college.
Which is why she finds herself somehow at Trinity College campus, where she eyes several scantily clad women wearing revealing Santa costumes adorned with itchy tinsel.
Anya is the sort of girl who, well, every girl kind of wants to be. So much so she sort of wonders why she hangs around with her. She's pretty, fit and fucking clever. Her only downfall is her taste in men, so often being Oxford pretty boys.
So it is absolutely no surprise at all, when two jägerbombs in, Anya has somehow slipped into the arms of one aforementioned Oxford pretty boy, seeming in every way a clone of the previous, with the exception of the way he pairs his Ayia Nappa top with his low rise jeans and the only effort to conform to theme, is a pair of plastic reindeer antlers on his head bobbling side to side.
She grimaces as she watches them suck each other's faces off in a dark corner of the room, ‘Stay Another Day’ by East 17 blaring with a cheap crackle through the speakers as she makes her way through the bodies to somewhere quiet.
She sighs, nursing the rum and coke Anya had sloppily poured her in one hand as she closes the door behind her, shutting out the drunken squeals and cheers for the peace of a quiet common room.
It's still decorated, she notes, but empty. Maybe she could lurk here until Anya is done, if she ever will be.
The deep clack of a pool ball being sucked into a socket makes her jump, realising perhaps that she was not actually alone, as she'd previously thought.
The cool light hung above the battered pool table illuminates his deep red jumper, and the first thing she sees is the way he leans on one leg, standing straight as if he was imitating the rigid pool cue leant before him. The yellow lined detailing around the cuffs highlights his small wrists and big hands that stretch from it as he rubs blue chalk onto the tip.
Her eyes trail up the back of his neck, past the lazy waves of dark blonde hair, clearly due a trim at some point, and to his face, even from this angle able to see how his features sit. With a sharp nose and jawline, and black skinny glasses perched above his cheekbones.
She almost laughs at the way he's almost as tall as the light that illuminates the table, half-thinking that she might never have seen such a strange and yet interesting looking guy.
“Didn't fancy the party?” she finally says, alerting him to her presence.
She doesn't quite expect the way the light bounces off his sharp features, sinking his blue eyes in shadow as his head turns to her with an expression of boredom.
“Not particularly, no.”
His voice is lighter than she thought it would be and part of her wonders if he's putting it on. He presses his glasses further up his nose before assessing his next shot, stalking around the table.
“Why's that?”
This time, when he answers, he doesn't look at her. He simply leans down, and aims.
“Not. Fucking. Invited,” he replies bitterly, missing a yellow, “that's why.”
Her fingertips moisten against the glass as the ice begins to melt, but she pays it no mind.
“So you're lurking about in here instead.”
He plays with the cue in one hand, barely sparing a second glance, a bitter, quiet laugh escaping him.
He misses another red before he heaves a sigh, straightening to look at her again.
“You here alone as well?” he asks dispassionately.
She smiles lazily and shrugs.
“My mate is…a bit preoccupied, if you know what I mean,” she replies, taking an awkward sip of the now watered down drink, “like you, I don't really think these are my thing either.”
He seems to consider her statement for a moment.
“Why come then?”
She shrugs again, “trying to be sociable.”
“With those vapid cunts? Good luck getting any intelligent conversation out of them.”
She watches as he picks up the blue chalk again, applying more when he doesn't even need it in sort of a nervous gesture, his blue eyes averted and pretending to assess his next move.
There's something about him. How judgemental he is and how he forms his words. Perhaps she hadn't expected this sort of guy to be so outwardly honest with his opinions, and for the most part, she can't say she disagrees with the message, just the way in which he said it.
“Can I play?” She asks, leaning over to put her drink down.
“What are you reading?” He asks so suddenly, and out of context, that she does a double take.
She raises her eyebrows, smiling, “Does my answer depend on if I get to play or not?”
There's no answer from him. Shocker of the century.
“Modern Languages.”
“Fucking hell,” he groans.
She's a bit too happy and dizzy on rum to get defensive.
“Is that one of those subjects that sounds way less interesting than it actually ends up being?”
She gives a breathy laugh, “just like languages.”
He hums, as if the answer didn't impress him, “more of a science and numbers man myself, obviously.”
For a moment, it's lost on her why it's obvious.
He takes a sip of his, no doubt, stale beer, wetting his lips after, “Your name is?”
She narrows her eyes teasingly, smiling as she leans against the table, “quid pro quo.”
She enjoys the brief confusion on his face, before he realises what she's said.
“Okay, okay, Michael.”
She smiles, “See? You know what that meant. Who says you're not a languages man?”
It's the first time he seems to duck his head, hiding a blush she's barely able to see.
“I don’t think the Ancient Roman idea of fair exchange warrants the title of ‘languages man’.”
The blue chalk comes off on his hands as he fiddles nervously with it.
“So, am I bestowed the privilege of playing?”
He raises his head, and she can tell he's trying his damndest to not let a little beer-induced smile pass his lips.
“I suppose I could allow you to embarrass yourself in front of me for a bit, if you insist. We'll have to share a cue though.”
She doesn't have the heart to tell him her uncle was a pool player, and so by extension, has played pool for most of her upbringing. Rather, he finds out himself when she pots three yellows in a row.
It's either the alcohol or pity that kicks in when she misses the fourth, holding the cue for him to take.
“You being good at pool wasn't on my bingo card,” he mutters with some nervous teasing in his voice.
They go back and forth for a bit, missing some, potting some, with interspersed conversation between.
“Thought you might have been a Norman-no -mates, like me,” he says quietly as he watches her assess her next shot. Bending to aim.
“You're not far off,” she replies, “first fortnight I was down a boyfriend. Since then, I've only been up two friends and one of them is in the other room having ditched me for the shag of a lifetime.”
She doesn't see it until after she takes the shot, the way his eyes flit back to hers quickly as she rights herself to stand.
Was he checking me out?
As if he was lagging, he only laughs now at what she's said.
“What about you?” She asks, “no girls, or boys, on the scene?”
He blushes a lot when she asks that. And she can't help the fluttering in her chest she feels that someone might find her attractive.
“Can’t say there is.”
She stands close, passing the cue to him, electricity warming her fingertips as she grazes his.
“And why not?”
He scoffs bitterly, “have you seen me?” he mutters, wandering around the table, suddenly unable to shake the feeling of her gaze, “Not too many girls out there looking for the stereotypical nerdy math boy, really.”
“Hm,” she hums, “how unfortunate for them.”
He sinks a red, picking at his red jumper.
“Yeah, they're clearly missing out, huh?”
The bitter and self-deprecating tone of his voice makes her heart sink a bit. He's not a bad looking guy, she thinks. His style, glasses, hair, she would almost say look actually quite cute.
Maybe that's the thing he doesn't like.
“No interest? Or is maths the only one for you?”
He misses the next shot and sighs, holding the cue for her to take, “clearly, the only one I need.”
She steps close to retrieve, taking her time, looking up at him as she does. At this proximity, Michael sucks in a breath quietly, his lips, which she can't say she'd noticed until right this moment, parting and his Adam's apple bobbing as his eyes flit rapidly down her.
A warmth swirls in her gut at that.
She circles the table, “what about in the past?”
He leans against the other side, his hand on the cushion, long fingers splayed on the green fabric. She has to shake her head to break her own trance.
“Can’t say my love life has exactly been a roaring success, honestly.”
The way he says it.
She wouldn't be surprised if he was…
Oh.
“So what? You're focussed on your studies?”
She misses. Too set on the conversation rather than the game.
He gives a mirthless laugh, “Sure.”
She rounds the table, holding the cue for him to take, but when he reaches for it, she pulls back with a smirk.
“So we've established you're not one for languages,” she starts, and Michael furrows his brows in confusion, “have you ever really asked for what you want? Ever?”
He seems to miss what she's trying to say.
“Have you been with a girl?”
At that, his eyes widen slightly, a blush crawling up his neck to the tips of his ears, cheeks near matching his shirt.
She knows she has her answer.
“Well…I…no, I haven't…”
At chest height, she can see the way his breathing elevates.
“And, hypothetically, if a girl expressed interest. What would you say?”
His lips part for a good few seconds before he gives a reply, “I’d…I um…I guess it depends who…”
It's like he's afraid she'll make fun of him for it.
“What about, if it was me?” She asks, her voice lowering as she reaches out to pick some lint off his jumper, like it's the most normal thing in the world. His body goes all rigid as she does.
This isn't normal in his world.
Michael swallows thickly, “you're not taking the Mick out of me, are you?”
She shakes her head, “I just want you to feel comfortable asking for what you want.”
For someone who had so often thought about it, now when faced with the situation, he feels as if he doesn't know what to do or say.
She's still stood with the cue in one hand, close enough so that when she shifts her weight from foot to foot, her knee grazes his leg. It's interesting to watch him think so deeply about it. Convinced he's probably never thought of anything so much in his life.
“What if what I want is…you?”
The tension deepens like the tone and volume of his voice. And without effort, a smile finds its way to her face when she looks at his expression. He's frozen stiff, for once, not knowing what to say.
So nothing shocks her more when he grabs the pool cue as a means of pulling her to him, and he has to duck considerably to press his lips clumsily to hers. He's eager, that much is true, but it's clear he's inexperienced. But instead of causing discomfort, she thinks it's quite endearing.
The pool cue clangs to the floor as she braces her hands on his shoulders and chest, guiding his lips with her own in a slower, more careful movement. She feels the edge of the pool table bite into her lower back when he presses her against it, clearly excited, if the hardness that's flush to her stomach is anything to go by.
The hands she had been staring at not half an hour ago are bruising as they trace her waist and hips, with a grip tight enough to tell her exactly how much he's enjoying the experience.
For a moment, they're not in a common room alone, against a pool table, with ‘Cheetah-licious Christmas’ playing in the room over, the bass of which rumbles through the floor and into their chests.
The kiss lasts a long while, and she has a feeling he wants to savour it as if it's the last time he will ever be able to do it.
One of her hands snakes its way to the back of his head, fingers gripping at his hair to pull him closer as either of them tilt to aid more contact between them. And at the little amount of tugging, Michael whines into her mouth, prompting him to pull away.
He looks halfway between mortified and pleased, his glasses having skewed to one side with the eagerness of what they'd done. And she laughs a bit, reaching up to fix them, which seems to make the mortification fade somewhat from his face.
Michael looks down between them, where his obvious erection is pressed to her, and pulls away slightly with a scarlet blush.
“Shit - sorry-”
“It's fine,” she reassures, “no need to be embarrassed.”
The words alone would be enough, if her hand hadn't snaked between their bodies to brush her palm over him. And if it were possible, his flush spreads to his neck, words failing him once more.
Her eyes flicker up to his, their lips all kiss-bruised and swollen.
“If you don't want to-”
“No, no, I want to…” he says, immediately embarrassed about how quick it was.
She smiles, one hand palming him through his jeans and the other trailing up his chest, “Sit down.”
He backs up to sit on a nearby sofa, watching with a kind of adoration as she makes space between his legs, her eyes glimmering at him as she slowly undoes his belt.
“If at any time, you need to stop, tell me.”
He gives a nervous laugh, his stomach muscles tightening, wondering probably if this is really happening to him, “Not sure I will want to…”
She smiles reassuringly, watching as his lips part as she palms him through his boxers, trying to suppress how impressed she is with his size.
It's always the skinny white guys.
“Well, the offer's there.” She smirks, pulling him from his boxers, Michael gives a suffered breath, feeling her touch on him and also her breath so close. He almost feels dizzy. The thought of this happening in this situation, with a party going on next door, is dangerous and exciting in equal measure.
She knows he has very limited experience, so decides not to tease him too much.
Michael gasps softly as she licks at the base of him, drawing a wet line with her tongue along the vein underneath, all the way to the tip. She concentrates her efforts slightly on the sensitive spot there before closing her mouth over the head of his cock, sucking gently.
She feels the way his thighs tense, and the blue disappearing as he closes his eyes. His fists are tight beside him, knuckles white, like he doesn't know if he should touch her or not. All he knows right now is that this feeling is brand new, and the sensation is so much already.
She pulls herself from him to run her tongue over his length, one hand moving to his hand, to encourage him. His blue eyes crack open just a bit, to understand what she's trying to tell him.
And she fights the urge to smile as his longer fingers swipe across her temple into her hair, his touch tender, soft and unsure as he holds her by it.
Her lips wrap around him once more, pushing him further into her mouth, taking him steadily and slowly at first. Michael's hips move barely, chasing the friction that he's getting on his cock when she bobs her head on him and hollows her cheeks.
He watches with parted lips and warm cheeks, moving her hair away so he can watch himself disappear into her mouth over and over. Her hand massages the rest of him, giving him two unique sensations in one, something that earns her a deep, throaty moan.
When her eyes open to look at him, he thinks his heart stops in his chest for a split second. He closes his eyes, not able to bear the way she looks with his cock in her mouth if she looks right at him, feeling that if he did any longer he wouldn't last.
The sounds he emits don't stop there as she increases her pace on him, pressing her tongue to the underside of him and taking him deeper into her throat, humming around him at the heady scent of his skin.
It's only when she takes him as far as he will go, working hard to control her gag reflex that he gives the first genuine buck of his hips, tightening in her hair and a far-too-loud moan. If anyone in the next room were quiet and paying attention, they'd likely know exactly what was going on.
“Fuck-”
It only serves to spur her on as she pulls back, moving in a more steady, quick rhythm, that she is sure Michael is loving judging by the rate of his moans and the way he chokes out his words.
His stomach clenches and unclenches, his high creeping up on him as her mouth tightens around his length.
“Shit - you need to - I'm gonna -” he chokes, weakly tugging her hair in an effort to pull her mouth off him before he cums.
If she didn't have his cock in her mouth she'd smile.
Her hand squeezes the base of him, and Michael throws his head back slightly, a long shuddered and choked moan reverberating through his chest. She swears she feels his thighs shake as she stills, warm ropes of his cum taste musky at the back of her throat.
His loud moan is followed quickly by more softer ones as her throat contracts to swallow as much as she can, briefly increasing the tension and friction around his sensitive length.
When she pulls off him with a pleased sigh, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Michael sits up slightly, having to gather his breath.
“Fucking hell…”
She takes it as a compliment and rises to her feet, her hands smoothing her skirt back down.
And she squeaks in delight as Michael quickly tucks himself away, barely doing up his jeans buttons before backing her up to the pool table again, kissing her fervently.
“What about you…do I…” he starts when he breaks away, panting softly. She smiles at the notion but shakes her head. This experience was for him alone.
“Not right now, don't feel inclined to,” she reassured, her hands on his chest, feeling the way his heart is beating rapidly beneath it.
“Right now?” he asks with a quiet, unsure tone, “does that mean…there's gonna be a next time?”
His tone is careful, and yet, she is able to detect something like desire there. An excitement for more, without seeming too eager so that he's not let down if she says no. Something that makes it clear he is 100% on board.
She bites back a grin.
“Quid Pro Quo, Michael.”
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puer et monstrum.
synopsis: You attempt to help the adult raven reconcile with his younger fledgling self. In other words, four times Dottore ignored his child segment, the first time he didn’t, and the last time he did.
includes: dottore + platonic! zandy w/ gn! reader
notes: You grow to greatly love Zandy, Dottore's child segment, but you can't help but notice how your husband pays no attention to him. Therefore, you will try your best to change this. Fragile reader, lots of fluff, angst, very cute, you know the drill. Part of this fic is also greatly inspired by this ask (thank you to this anon!)
I. creation
At this point, Il Dottore had a good amount of experience creating segments.
Sure, the number of times he had failed was far greater than he liked, and he could count the number of successful segments with his fingers, but he had the general gist of the process and all. So, he decided it was time for him to create another segment of himself. This brought about the obvious question of what phase of his life he should bring back into this world. Dottore pondered this question for a while. He already made them all based on important parts of his life - when he was in the Akademiya, when he first became a Harbinger, and now one based on his current self not too long ago, just to name a few. He desired something new, something that could be vastly different.
In the end, he decided to create a child segment.
His other segments were not very happy with the decision. A child would cry. A child would whine. A child could not do the tasks they could. A child would do… child things. It was a nuisance. But Dottore dismissed their complaints.
What good would a child’s perspective bring him? He didn’t know, but that was exactly the point. He didn’t know, which was why he sought the answer. And the only way to find this out was to create the child just as he’d done with his other younger selves.
After much time, money, and energy were exhausted, it was done. The child opened his eyes for the first time and saw a tall figure amidst the blinding lights. Once the masked man noticed his awakening, he looked at him, as if waiting for him to fully gain consciousness, and then spoke before the child could say anything.
“I am Dottore. You are a segment of mine that I created. You shall be called Ten.” After that brief statement, the man seemed to have finished all that he was going to say. That was when the child noticed the crowd of similar-looking blue-haired men as well, discussing things that he could not wrap his head around yet.
The child, now called “10”, had so many questions. Where was he? What does he do now? Why was he called a number? He doesn’t remember being called that before. Was he not Zandik anymore? The child wasn’t sure whether or not being ‘Zandik’ anymore was a good or bad thing. Maybe if he wasn’t ‘Zandik’ anymore, people wouldn’t scorn him so much.
Who are all these people, and why do they seem a bit similar to him? Being but a little kid, naturally, he was lost and confused, and he could not help but grasp the leg of the man called Dottore timidly. Immediately, the Harbinger stiffened at the contact, eyes swiftly moving to meet 10’s. The only person who ever touched him unprompted was you, but he had not felt your touch in centuries, so the sudden touch of the child surprised him.
Though 10 could not see the taller man’s eyes, he didn’t think they were very kind. The child didn’t think the other man’s eyes were like his parents, or like the people from the village, no, but there was a certain feeling expressed toward him that 10 couldn’t explain. Regardless, 10 quickly received the message, and his hand slipped away from his creator’s.
“Tend to him,” was the lone order Prime gave the other segments before he left, leaving the little one all by himself, despite being surrounded by others.
II. curiosity
Being segments of the Harbinger meant they were busy people. Being the Harbinger himself meant that his time was even more sparse. This meant that any attention dedicated to 10 was few and far between, and pretty much always not of their own free will. One would think a child would be quite disheartened by the lack of attention, and well, they would be right, but 10 had long grown accustomed to being by himself ages ago considering his childhood. Did he like it? No, not yet at least. By the behavior of the other segments, he eventually grew to prefer being by himself.
But 10 was still a child, curious about the world, which meant that he still did seek out the older segments’ company from time to time. Well, most of the time he was shooed away, but on rare occasions, 10 was able to be the recipient of some ranting by the younger segments or perhaps the observer of their intricate work (that was deemed acceptable to be viewed by children.) However, something 10 was able to learn was that there was one person whom the segments and Prime always seemed to offer their attention, willingly too.
[Name].
The kid seemed to be the only segment who didn’t really know you. 10 didn’t pay much attention to his older selves’ “patients”, but being an attentive and curious boy, he realized with due time that your name always seemed to be murmured by them. Not with the detached or annoyed tone the segments took on when regarding others, but it was different. Again, the young one had trouble putting his finger on it exactly, but if he had to put it into words, 10 would say they sounded a lot sweeter. It was an odd thing to say because if anyone else heard it, they certainly would not label the tone as sweet. It would probably sound simply normal to others. But that was truly what the child thought, maybe because he was connected to them in a way.
So of course, 10’s interest was very piqued. Oddly enough, for how nice they sounded, the child never saw a glimpse of you around the lab. 10 wondered what kind of person you were. How did you even know them? Would you talk about them in a sweet tone too? If you met him… would you speak about him that way as well? He wondered what it took for the older men to like you so much, maybe even… love? The child doesn’t know what love exactly looks like, but if love was anything like the stories he’s read, how the segments talk about you could be said to be a bit similar.
But if 10 were to compare the two some more, maybe they aren’t that alike after all, considering all the things that were different. If segments loved you, wouldn’t you constantly be by their side, as lovers in fairytales do? If you two were apart, wouldn’t his creator be anguished by the loss of your presence, just like in the books? Yet whenever he saw the original, his expression seemed to always be the same - calculating, tired, seemingly more absorbed in his research than worried for another. (For the child does not understand how well Prime wears more masks than one.)
So needless to say, 10 was confused. And with confusion comes curiosity, the need to seek out the answer, common for any child but especially for one as inquisitive as the blue-haired boy. In his room, 10 pondered for a while on what to do - he could try to sneak around for answers, but he imagined he’d get caught and scolded by the segments long before he found anything out. So, the child decided to simply ask about the matter. After all, the others always say asking questions is an important part of an experiment.
It’s still a gamble though, the child is well aware of the less than hospitable energy toward him by the others. They have a general… lack of patience for him. But still, persistence and the pursuit of knowledge are traits embodied in every version of Dottore. And so the child gathered up all his courage and set his little plan into action.
It was like any other day 10 had witnessed in the far too familiar lab. He had made sure to wake up in the very early morning - it was the best opportunity to catch a few segments together before they split up to do their separate tasks. Well, hopefully, they were there, some of them tended to stay locked up in their respective labs until they figured out the answer to what they were seeking. The child surprisingly had little sleepiness remaining in his system, the anticipation of the answer he would receive keeping him awake.
For once, it looked as though the segments were not bickering. It wasn’t quiet either though, they seemed to be discussing something work-related. But that was beside the point. Upon entering the room, the segments were a bit surprised to see 10, for it was obviously out of the ordinary for the kid to be awake, much less roaming around at this hour.
“What are you doing awake?” The Akademiya segment, 01, didn’t bother to hide his tone, unwilling to be vexed further with all the work he had left to do. But the child had come here with a determination that wouldn’t be swayed.
“I have a question,” 10 stated. The next segment who spoke didn’t spare a glance at him.
“And it could not wait until morning? You felt the need to interrupt us now?” 04’s response was blunt and straight to the point as usual - he was a segment that was perpetually annoyed. 10 couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever seen a smile on this segment. And yet 04 seemed kinder to him than when he interacted with others.
Meanwhile, 02 watched with an unreadable expression behind his spotted mask. It was hard to predict what response you would get from 02 - would he be annoyed and snappy or perhaps treat you with a dose of excitement and interest? This time, however, it was the latter, as a grin crept its way onto his face.
“No, I want to hear this question. Surely, it must be greatly important for you to go to such lengths, yes?” 02’s red eyes gleamed, intrigued by the child segment’s nod. 10 nervously swallowed before squaring his shoulders resolutely.
“Who is [Name]?”
And then all the miscellaneous noises in the lab came to an abrupt halt. 24, who usually remained uninterested in the conversations of his other segments, had suddenly tuned into the discussion at the mention of your name. The other present segments, who were absorbed in their work mere moments ago, now had their undivided attention on the child.
“No one,” 04 said flatly, but the damage was already done. It was obvious that was a lie, and the child’s eyes glittered with enthusiasm as he began bouncing around to each segment.
“Who are they? What are they like? You like them, don’t you?” At the last question, 01 scowled at the declaration, hoping no one would notice the slight color of red at the tips of his ears. 02’s previous demeanor had changed into a blank yet thoughtful one, while 04 looked exasperated at the whole situation.
“How do you know about [Name]?” 24 was the one who finally responded to the child, and 10 awkwardly halted his barrage of questions. If 10 was being honest, 24 was probably the scariest of all the segments. The one closest to Prime and the most selfish.
“Well, all of you have mentioned them at least once… and when you do say their name, it just sounds like you like them. A lot,” 10 stared at the ground as he shared his observation. “You don’t sound like that for anyone else.” The segments were silent once more. The question was, were they that obvious, or was the brat just really attentive? The answer was most likely the latter, but still. This wasn’t a good look for them.
“I suppose this was bound to happen sooner or later,” 01 had recovered from his embarrassment, “Considering how much Two prattles on about them.” 02 frowned at the sudden accusation.
“Excuse me? That is rich coming from you,” the clone quickly snapped back, for the other was no exception to carrying on about you. 24 just grimaced at the start of another bickering session between his other selves.
“A-Anyway!” 10 interrupted the others before he could be ignored. “Can I know who they are? Can I see them?” The child pleaded earnestly as another pause swept through the room.
“You will not stop begging until we say yes, won’t you?” 04 sighed. “However, that decision is up to Prime.” 10’s shoulders drooped. He wasn’t really sure if Prime would listen to him, considering how rarely they ever spoke.
However, miraculously enough, a few days later, his wish was granted. He doesn’t know why Prime decided to do it, but 10 was just happy he’d finally know about the mysterious person! Funnily enough, the news had spread to all the segments, and all of them had decided to gather in the same space to tell their own opinion about you. 10 had never seen them… congregate like this. They seemed to enjoy the common topic - you - but the squabbling about certain matters (again, you) still took place. The child learned more things about you than he even understood.
But he knew the basics now - you were their lover, meaning you loved them and they loved you, which even though it was not explicitly said, the child knew it anyway. This was obviously something a bit difficult for 10 to wrap his head around, but he found the idea thrilling. He knew his older selves well enough to know that you must be a pretty amazing person to have them so interested.
Unfortunately, the child couldn’t prove this hypothesis of his, as he later found out the reason why you were nowhere to be seen. 10 remembers the first time he saw you, accompanied by another segment (18, this time.) Hooked up to a machine with countless wires, hands laying limp by your side, along with your chest that unnoticeably rose and fell. You were nothing like what 10 thought you’d look like. And yet he too thought you were beautiful. Sure, the child couldn’t see your eyes or smile or hear your voice, but as he held your hand and compared it to his much smaller one, he just had a feeling you were nothing like the grown-ups that he once knew long ago. But 10 was disappointed.
“Is [Name] going to be okay?” 10 worriedly looked at the segment, wondering about your current state. The others hadn’t disclosed many details about your illness.
“They will,” 18 affirmed. At least this segment was nicer to him than the others, with his softer tone and gentler mannerisms. He was still a Dottore segment, however. “One day they will wake up.” With that as his only answer, 10 went back to tracing the lines on the palm of your cold hand, hoping you would open your eyes again soon just like the other blue-haired men.
Since then, 10 found himself visiting your silent room, save for the beep-beeps from your machines, more and more often. There was just something about this unmoving, sleeping grown-up that drew him in. 10 had so many questions to ask you… but for now, he settled for reading his stories aloud to you. Maybe you could hear them too. Occasionally, some other segments dropped in to check on you, but they didn’t pay much mind to him other than reminding him not to touch anything, as his presence near you had become commonplace.
However, on one particular day, 10 found that your room was already occupied by someone else. 10 had heard a familiar yet muffled voice coming from inside, yet he could not make out the exact words from outside in the hallway. Carefully padding closer to the room, the child strained his ears to make out the words. It sounded like the person was talking to another, like a conversation, only that it seemed one-sided since 10 could only distinguish one voice. Finally, he got the courage to gently push the door open a bit more and peek to see who it was inside.
It wasn’t merely a segment there to check on you, no, this time it was Prime Dottore himself, sitting near your side in the same chair that the child always sat in. The child was surprised - he rarely ever saw Prime outside of his lab or office, and when he did, it was usually when Prime was forced to attend to certain Fatui duties. Of course, he never paid much attention to his child segment. Unfortunately, 10 had stared a bit too much, as the original quickly noticed his presence and immediately got up from the seat. 10 jumped a bit too, instinctively pulling back and hiding against the wall. But it was too late.
“Come in.” 10 had no option other than to comply, as he shyly stepped into your room, still clinging to the wall. The child nervously swallowed as he scrambled for an excuse as to why he was intruding.
“Um… I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here,” 10 apologized meekly, hands behind his back as his eyes flicked from Dottore’s face to the floor. The older man’s expression was unreadable, and it was silent for a good few moments before he spoke.
“I see,” was all Dottore said before he started walking toward 10, or rather, the door. The child looked up at the figure that had now gone past him, words leaving his mouth before he could think.
“Were you talking to [Name]? Do you miss them too?” Now that 10 thought about it, he had heard all about what the other segments had to say about you, but he still didn’t know the original’s feelings. Still, the child was surprised at himself for being able to ask Prime that. At the question, Dottore stopped in his tracks, seemingly contemplating whether he should respond or dismiss him before he turned around and faced his child segment, who then stiffened at the direct look.
“I hear that you’re with them quite often.” 10’s eyes widened at the response and nodded, although it wasn’t really an answer to his questions. “[Name] enjoys your company.” This only served to confuse the child even more, as he then glanced at your body. (For only Dottore knows about the time he found you asleep with a smile after the little boy left your room.)
“They… do? How do you know?” But when 10 looked back, Dottore was already gone. Well, he knew not to expect much conversation from him anyway, but still, he was greatly curious at his words. Regardless, 10 then walked up to you and made himself comfy near your bedside.
“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” 10 inquired, playing with your fingers as he rested his cheek on your body. But of course, he received no answer from the person he was closest with yet farthest away from in this lab.
Even at the end of all of this, 10 still wasn’t exactly sure of what to think of you, having not had a real conversation with you yet, but he thought you seemed really cool, even while hooked up to a machine.
III. close
Change was not something 10 was familiar with. He was stuck as a kid forever, he was stuck in the lab, unable to leave like the other segments, he was stuck with the same toys and stories and other various pastimes that had long grown boring. So, the excitement of the unpredictable was something sorely lacking in the child’s life. Not to mention, the lab was a pretty dark place, both figuratively and literally. Although the boy was used to it, he wished it would be a bit more lively.
And after countless years of wishing, his wish finally came true. You, the mysterious sleeping grown-up that he only heard stories about, [Name], had finally woken up from centuries-long slumber. 10 was, to put it in a child’s simple words, “super happy”, but anyone else could see that his feelings went beyond that. However, despite 10’s great desire to meet you, he had decided to wait a bit, just to observe you.
The child followed you around, looking at you from afar, always slipping away before you could notice his presence. Seeing you up and walking around was so different from the once unmoving body he was so accustomed to. He listened to your voice. He watched you relearn so many things. He saw how sweetly you interacted with the other segments, and how keen they were for your touch, how they would tend to you on your weaker days. The child had never seen anything like it. 10 would have never believed the amount of change one mere person could bring. Meanwhile, the segments remained indifferent to the boy.
The more 10 watched you, the more he finally wanted to bask in your attention too. But the boy was scared. He remembered all the other adults in his life, from the village, and how they all looked and treated him with contempt. Could you be like that too? He wanted to think the answer was no, from how kind you seemed, but all the adults were so nice to the others except for him.
But maybe, maybe this time, it could be different. Everyone else approved of you after all. 10 wanted to trust you.
For once, his trust was not betrayed. After 10 finally introduced himself to you, you had given him so much attention it made his head spin. Your gentle and loving yet not overbearing demeanor. The way you listened to him seriously and reciprocated the energy, taking part in his childish activities. He was enthralled, to say the least.
You, on the other hand, were initially mystified by the appearance of the child. Not just any child, Dottore’s child self. Just to let that sink in, you had to keep repeating it to yourself. 10 was Dottore’s child self. He was him as a kid. What you were looking at was the embodiment of Zandik as a little boy. You couldn’t really believe your eyes at first. But he was real. Very real, from his higher-pitched voice (that was a really sharp contrast to Omega, for example) to his childlike demeanor and innocence.
The whole deal with the segments already took a bit for you to get accustomed to, but this was sort of new territory for you. After all, even though you’d known Dottore for so long, his childhood was something that came up rather infrequently. You chose not to pry further when you learned of how poorly he was treated as a child and instead offered him comfort in other ways. It had always made your heart ache and you wished you could do something more about it, to soothe his pain even just a bit. But now you quite literally had him in front of you, in a way. Quickly, your mind began working and formulating something.
Maybe… maybe you could help him by helping 10.
Sure, it sounded a bit stupid and probably useless at first, but there was no harm in trying. If anything else, you would be making 10 smile. From what you could infer, his life within this lab was far too dour for your liking.
Regardless, all those hours flew by in the blink of an eye, so much so that it felt like a dream. Was it, 10 wondered. But then the next day he found you eagerly waiting for him so you could spend more time with him. And the next. And the following day. And next week. Next month. And by then, he and the other were no longer merely numbers, but rather, they had names bestowed upon them, to truly identify them as individuals.
And so, 10 had become Zandy. The difference between his past and present self was just as stark as the name change. It wasn’t just him, either. The other segments seemed different too with you around, in a good way. In all honesty, the young boy thought you were magical because he thought this kind of reality would only be possible in fairy tales. Needless to say, Zandy admired you greatly and sought you out quite frequently.
He was happy to have you help him with his various assignments - to which your eyes nearly popped out when you saw the length and difficulty of some of the questions. You did help him, despite your shaky hands, but most of the time you stole him away to do much more fun things, that were “more important” according to you. The segments kept their thoughts to themselves unless they wanted to hear you gently scold them. It was amazing, Zandy thought.
The conversation of love had happened one day when you were putting him to bed after a long day. It had become a sort of routine for the two of you. You liked it because why wouldn’t you, it was the cutest thing ever. Zandy liked it because of how nice you were even when he really didn’t want to sleep yet, always indulging him with a story or a warm glass of milk. The segments liked it because they didn’t need to deal with him.
“[Name], you love the segments, right?” Zandy had noticed that the word ‘love’ came out of your mouth rather frequently, compared to the other blue-haired men. You blinked at the question.
“Yes, I do. Why?” You asked as you tucked him in for the night alongside his Ruin Guard plushies (that you extorted the segments for.)
“All of them?”
“Of course.”
“Omega and Beta and Alpha and Delta and Zeta and-” His words were stopped by your laughter.
“Yes, dear. And Theta and Psi and Epsilon and- you don’t need me to list out all of their names, right?” Zandy shook his head but he still had another question for you.
“How much love do you have in you, [Name]?” The child couldn’t help but wonder how you did it - loving that many people seemed like a lot of work. You chuckled at the question.
“Very, very, much. You cannot put a quantity to love. It just happens when I’m surrounded by so many lovely people,” you kissed the boy on his forehead. “And that goes for you too. I love you very much, Zandy.” The child’s eyes widened as he fell silent, to which you questioned.
“Zandy? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he mumbled, his words further muffled by how he had now pulled the blanket over his head. You quickly connected the dots. He had probably never been told before that he was loved. You moved your hand under the blankets until you could feel one of his tiny hands, and then intertwined your fingers with the child’s.
“Hey, no need to lie to me, dear. You don’t have to hide around me,” you tried to gently soothe Zandy and coax him out when he spoke again.
“How do you know?”
“How do I know what?”
“That you love me.” His head popped back out of the blanket as he stared at you with big, uncertain eyes, but you only smiled in response.
“Well… for me, it’s simple. It brings me great joy to see you happy and smiling, and I want to make sure you continue to do so. I want to protect you, and I don’t ever want to see you hurt or sad. I want to make sure all of your wishes and dreams come true, and I want to keep you safe.” You said as you stroked Zandy’s hair. (You would have said that you loved him just as any parent would love their son, but you knew that with his experiences… it may not have been the most efficient.) Zandy’s lowered his eyes as he began to chew on his lip in thought.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever loved anyone before, [Name].” Zandy thought back to his parents, people whom he thought he loved, but now that he had you around, he realized that his feelings for them were nothing compared to what you made him feel. Loved.
“That’s quite alright. Love is a beautiful thing, but it isn’t easy. What matters is that one tries.” That was a lesson all the segments could use. It was a bit confusing for Zandy, but somehow, he felt he understood.
“I see…” The sleepiness had finally fully hit Zandy as his eyes began to droop.
“Now, go to sleep. You don’t want to wake up tired tomorrow.” The child nodded and snuggled more under the cover. “Sweet dreams, dear.” You squeezed his hand before kissing his forehead one last time, and then getting up to turn off the light. As the room turned dark, you heard a small voice from behind you.
“I… love you, [Name].” It was quiet enough that if you weren’t paying attention, you might not have heard it, but you found his shyness endearing.
“I love you too, my child.” You smiled before exiting Zandy’s room, leaving him to have wonderful dreams, and then you were slightly startled by the man waiting outside for you. Dottore, rather, Prime Dottore himself. Zandik.
“Dottore. You’re here. I’ve missed you!” Your surprise quickly morphed into happiness as you saw the person you loved. He looked pleased to see you as well, as you linked your arm around his. “I hope I didn’t keep you too long. I was putting Zandy to bed.”
“I am aware. You do so every day.” You giggled, a little bit embarrassed.
“Well, someone needs to. You know, you should join us! We could always use another playmate.”
“I believe you are far more suited to the task than I am. Moreover, how have you been feeling as of late? It seems you have more energy than usual.” The way he quickly changed the conversation didn’t go unnoticed by you. You had told yourself that you wanted to help Dottore by helping Zandy, but it seemed to you that he rarely ever interacted, or even wanted to interact with the child. Dottore didn’t talk to his segments much in general, but he still had to for experiments and general Fatui business. Zandy, however, was the exception. It did hurt your heart to see it happen.
Back in your room, you had some thinking to do.
Now that you thought about it, you should have seen this coming. It made a lot of sense for Dottore to behave like this. You knew his feelings toward his childhood, towards himself in fact. But was it right? Was it fair? Of course not, at least in your opinion. However, you didn’t know what Zandy thought about this. You had yet to see the two together, and you had never asked him about Prime either.
You wondered what your lover thought when he heard of you and Zandy together, you hugging and showering him in affection. Did he like it? Was he annoyed? Or did he not care, maybe something else? You always prided yourself on being able to comprehend him but…
This wasn’t going to be easy.
But you would see it to the end.
IV. complex
You often enjoyed taking walks around the lab. It was a good pastime and a way to keep your body active, not to mention the times you’d bump into a segment and end up taking a little break with him. Although you enjoyed the time by yourself, it could be a bit too lonely sometimes, which was precisely why Zandy came along.
You had found out that he knew every nook and cranny of this place like the back of his hand, having explored it for countless years as he had nothing better to do. Therefore, Zandy often showed you around the lab, more specifically, the unknown and harder-to-reach parts, also known as his favorite hiding spots. You were quite grateful for his assistance, as you were sure you’d never discover some of these places on your own.
Zandy was a bundle of energy that you could handle, well, most of the time at least. Were it not for your illness, you would have matched it easily. You felt a bit bad about not being able to keep up with him, but the child never minded. Although he tended to run in the halls and drag you around, he always paid attention to whether you seemed to need a break. A real sweetheart, indeed.
Today was one such day.
You and Zandy had already been in this area before, but it was so big you couldn’t complete it all in one day. The kid was eager to continue exploring with you, scampering in front of you and then jumping in place for you to catch up. You believed he was especially excited because, on one of these journeys, you two had discovered some sort of creature… or rather creatures lurking around.
The corridors always had some darkness to them, so you had not noticed the black puff balls hiding until one of them popped open its singular red eye at you. You would have yelped if you weren’t in awe of the cuteness of the silly creature. Similarly, once Zandy followed your line of sight, stars appeared in his eyes as more black puff balls came out of nowhere, and began scurrying toward you. The singular blue strand of hair reminded you of someone. Your best guess was that it was one of Dottore’s failed experiments.
Before you could advise the child to be cautious of these pufflings, Zandy had scooped one up already and was petting it. At least they seemed to be friendly - they had even gifted you a couple of shiny things, tiny pieces of minerals. And you swore you caught sight of a fluffy blue thing with a tail peering from afar too that seemed to be too shy to approach. Perhaps Dottore would let you keep them as a pet if you asked?
You giggled to yourself as you finished reminiscing about that. You did hope you ran into those things again. Meanwhile, Zandy had already gone ahead, turning into another hall.
“Now Zandy, don’t run too fast before you trip and fall!” You called after him, increasing the pace of your steps to chase after him.
“Come on, all the Mr. Fluffies are wait-” Zandy’s joyful voice abruptly stopped. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before pushing yourself to jog a little faster. And that’s when you saw the reason why he had stopped - Dottore was standing over the little boy, the height difference so palpable that they both had to crane their neck to view the other. It seemed that Zandy bumped into him, but you were happy to see your two favorite people together. Perhaps this was a good chance to put another plan into action!
“Hello, Dottore. I’m glad to see you out of your office so much,” you greeted your lover with a pleasant smile. The man had no expression, while the boy hid his relief when he saw you. You tried not to bite your lip.
“I did not expect to see you here.”
“You know I like to take my daily walks, so Zandy here was just showing me some more places to go. But it looks like your secret spots aren’t so secret anymore, are they Zandy?” You chuckled light-heartedly, but when you looked down, you saw that the child was fidgeting with his fingers awkwardly, clinging onto your cling.
“Mhm.” Your smile fell.
“I see.” The two did not make eye contact, the tension suffocating. You cleared your throat.
“W-We could use another person to-”
“Unfortunately, I am preoccupied at the moment,” the Harbinger quickly dismissed your request. “However, do remember not to push yourself. Your body is still weak.”
“... Of course.”
“Good.” With a nod to you and without further eye contact to Zandy, he walked away. You held back a sigh before you ruffled the kid’s hair.
“Shall we continue?” Your smile didn’t reach all the way to your eyes, but you hoped Zandy wouldn’t realize. But before you could move, he spoke.
“Why do you like him so much, [Name]?” The child repeated the question he remembered asking you while you were still asleep. This time, however, he would finally get an answer. You crouched down to Zandy’s level, placing your hands on his shoulders as you pondered what to say.
“I love Dottore because… he makes me feel loved too. For centuries, he’s treated me better than anyone else. His kindness may not be typical, but I still receive it happily. His sweetness is bitter, but the taste is pleasurable. His love isn’t ordinary, but it soothes me either way.”
“That makes sense.” Zandy knew that wasn’t a lie. He had seen how his creator treated you. “Then Prime must feel the opposite toward me.”
“That’s not true.” You frowned as you immediately shot down the thought, stroking Zandy’s cheek gently. “Dottore just-” Before you could finish, Zandy looked up at you with a wide, forced smile as he broke free from your hold.
“It’s okay, [Name]. It doesn’t bother me. Now let’s go, I want to find those puffy things again!” And then the child was off, and you were left with an aching heart.
That same night, you paid Dottore a visit, unwilling to be a bystander in this anymore. At least he was doing paperwork this time. It was easier to gain his attention than when he was doing an experiment.
“Dottore.”
“Hello, [Name].” The scholar didn’t look up from his work, as he was already used to you popping in and hanging around for a bit.
“Are you busy?”
“I-”
“Good. We need to talk.” Dottore paused and looked up at you for a moment, who had now stood in front of him, your hands balled on his desk. He took in the dissatisfied look and thin line in replace of your usual smile, before responding.
“About?”
“Why do you ignore Zandy so much?” You said plainly, not in the mood to beat around the bush. From the way his pen stopped, you think he knew this was coming eventually.
“I simply do not have time to entertain the whims of a child.”
“It has nothing to do with that! I-, this is just basic decency. It feels to me that your lack of consideration is on purpose. It is, isn’t it?” Dottore was silent, not even moving his pen.
“Answer me, Zandik.”
“He has you. It is enough.”
“It is not enough. Zandy is a child. He is hurt by you. You are hurting yourself, Zandik. Do you expect me to be okay with this?” Dottore’s pen had started moving again. Your palms hurt from your fingers digging into them so harshly. In a last-ditch effort, you attempted to speak to him using those terms he liked so much.
“Did you not create him to understand his perspective of everything? So, how do you plan to do that if you do not try to speak to him?” It seemed you were not going to let this go.
“I created my segments to observe their perspectives. To preserve it,” Dottore clarified.
“Observe?” You laughed at that. “Pray tell, how will you do that if you don’t even try to be around the child for more than five seconds? And besides, merely observing never brings you the most satisfying results. I thought you of all people would understand that,” you quipped back.
“Please, at least… at least tell me you’re going to try. Just try, even if it doesn’t work out,” you pleaded with your love. Unfortunately, your words could not reach him.
“It is late. You should go to sleep.” You gritted your teeth at his response.
“Fine. Then I will simply treat you the same way as you do with Zandy.” As he opened his mouth to defy your declaration, you quickly spoke again. “If you think I won’t do it, then you forgot the person I was in the Akademiya, and who I still am now. I do this because I love every single version of you, Zandik, more than anything else in this world. If you want to test my love, then by all means go ahead, but I doubt you’ll find even one possibility where you’ll be able to. Good night.” Your tone was hard and biting as you left without letting him get in another word.
Dottore could only watch as you stormed out, leaning back in his chair to rub his forehead as his mask clattered to the ground. Il Dottore was used to getting his way. Zandik, however, not so much, especially when you were in the picture. This perspective of yours was always… always something he struggled to understand.
Of course, the Harbinger learned very quickly that you would make good on your word. Instead of his name being called, he had to deal with his segments being asked for instead.
“Omega, please administer the medicine for me today.”
“Delta, could you come over here? I feel a bit unsteady on my feet.”
“Sigma, would you visit me before bed? I would like someone to chat with.”
“Beta, let’s go to your lab. I’m bored!”
You walked past him without a glance. You did not ask him anything. You did not refer to him. He was practically invisible to you. You knew that you were technically being more harsh to him than he was to Zandy, but you weren’t going to stop. You also hoped that helping Dottore to be kind to Zandy would eventually spread to the other segments too. The segments were initially baffled by the turn of events but quickly adjusted to it, although the look Prime gave them certainly wasn’t something they wanted to endure. It didn’t need to be said that Prime was awfully upset, despite his unbothered expression.
In the past, every time you had pulled a stunt or something after an argument, Dottore would find it amusing. He had a bad habit of being unyielding and refusing to admit he was in the wrong, and that was coupled with his idea that you were just being childish. But every time, you stuck it out until the end and refused to back down too. Eventually, he stopped finding it funny.
The stalemate went on for a while. Dottore’s bed had remained cold for far too long, no longer having the pleasant surprise of finding you on it sometimes. His office was silent, your visits becoming nonexistent. Despite how he chided you sometimes for bothering him, his mind had become preoccupied with thoughts of you and what you were doing. It wasn’t good for someone who had so much work to do, and for someone who hated giving in. This simply wouldn’t do.
At the very least, he could at least still follow you around to see your sweet smile and laughter. You just didn’t know. However, it seemed every time he longed for you, you also happened to be with the kid. For a long time, every time he saw you be so sweet to the child, it felt like seeing an impossibility become a possibility, and yet he tried his best to ignore it. He knew how fond you were of his child segment, well, Zandy as you’ve come to call him, and he… he just didn’t…know how to feel.
Yet now he felt himself somehow drawn to the scene, in a strange way. Was it because he liked seeing you happy, and the child seemed to bring out your brightest smiles? Was it because seeing his child segment like this wasn’t something he’d ever witnessed before? Was it because he himself had never been treated so kindly as a child, and yet now he was watching it happen in front of him? Was it because his deepest wishes that he buried with his childhood self were now becoming reality? Dottore ignored the answers to his own questions, attempting to finish a report that was long overdue for Pantalone, but his mind continued to wander about what he had witnessed.
Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy having dinner.
You and Zandy were sitting across from each other eating. Well, it was more like you trying to convince the child to eat at least a few of his vegetables.
“Zandy, at least eat a few. You don’t need to finish it all,” you gently urged the child. “How else are you going to become big and strong?”
“But they’re yucky,” he pouted. You chuckled.
“Perhaps I need to experiment more… I will find a way to prepare it in a way you like, my child. But for now, if you eat a bit more, I’ll… give you my dessert!” Zandy perked up at your words while stabbing the dreaded green thing with his fork.
“Deal!” He exclaimed while forcing the vegetable into his mouth (eating with his ‘family’ for once.)
Dottore remembers when he overheard you and Zandy playing a game.
You had recently purchased a game from abroad to pass the time. It had four surfaces and numerous columns that you needed to place small, medium, or large gears on. The objective was to place the right gears at the right locations in order to get them all going. Although you originally bought it for yourself, Zandy was quite excited by the idea, and you were never going to turn down an opportunity to challenge his brain. Within reason, of course.
In the end, you were content with simply watching the child play with the gears and figure out the answer by himself, or with small hints from you.
“Would you look at that! You’ve already finished all of the levels, and we’ve only started today… I didn’t even need to be here since you’ve got such a smart brain up there,” you teased, tapping Zandy’s forehead playfully. He blushed slightly.
“That’s not true. Your advice was really helpful, [Name]!”
“Perhaps, but your own thoughts were already more than enough. I would like to hear them more often.” The child glowed at the idea of you listening to him (instead of shunning him.)
“Okay!”
Dottore remembers when he overheard you reading Zandy a book.
You had a tendency to invite Zandy over to your room often, considering how much Zandy liked it. He marveled at the size and all your decorations, and the collections of your interests (how you had gotten Dottore to fund this was beyond the child’s imagination.) Not to mention, how soft and fluffy your numerous pillows were. Tonight, you were reading him a story, the child lying back against your chest as you held the storybook in front of you two.
“Alright, I think that’s enough for tonight,” you said as you stifled a yawn, and you also noticed Zandy was doing the same. “We can continue tomorrow.”
“Okay…” Zandy mumbled tiredly enough not to put up a fight. You put the book to the side and turned off the lights (with a remote, courteously created by Dottore for the days you couldn’t get out of bed.) Pulling up the blankets, you were about to wish the boy good night when he spoke.
“[Name]?”
“Yes?”
“I always have lots of fun when I’m with you but… do I bother you too much? I know you’re probably busy and you also have your illness and-”
“Zandy. I love spending time with you. And even if I am busy, I will always make time for you, no matter what,” you promised the boy (unlike that man and woman who left him forever alone.)
“Oh…”
“See? So don’t ever feel bad about it,” you reassured Zandy, which left him with only the sweetest of dreams to dream.
Dottore remembers when he overheard you gently lecturing Zandy.
Children are pure-hearted and innocent, and even Dottore was once a child. It wasn’t hard to see that Zandy and his other older selves were starkly different. The former was kind and sweet, and the latter… well, you didn’t need to say it out loud. But the main point was that you didn’t need to worry too much about Zandy hiding stuff from you. Once you broke down his walls, he was a very open and honest child. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you’d say. But of course, children were children.
You had left the child in the kitchen while you went to retrieve a new cookbook the Eleventh Harbinger had gifted you, wanting to try out some new dishes especially since Zandy was interested. When you got back, however, you noticed that his face seemed a bit flushed and nervous, and his hands were in his pockets.
“Zandy? Everything alright?”
“Um, yeah!” His voice sounded a bit odd, and you squinted at him while he avoided eye contact. You’ve dealt with Dottore who was a smooth, easy talker that could spin lies like nothing. Zandy, on the other hand, was too easy to see through.
“Are you sure?” The boy nodded in response, probably so his voice wouldn’t betray him again. “Show me your hands.” But he only had a child’s level of lying, from the way his eyes gave it away.
“But-”
“Now.” Zandy very reluctantly showed you his hand, and you then saw one of his fingers was dripping blood. Your heart sank.
“You’re bleeding? I- What happened?!” You rushed him over to the sink and began washing it, while your other hand rummaged through the cabinets for some cotton or bandages.
“I wanted to be h-helpful and get the stuff out for you. But I dropped a plate and it broke and I tried to clean it up and I cut myself,” Zandy mumbled, clearly not wanting to admit his mistake.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were already used to seeing your own blood drawn, but Zandy was a different story. Seeing your child hurt had made you dizzy and uneasy, even if it was just a cut.
“... I thought you would be mad.” Zandy’s voice was but a whisper, and your eyes softened.
“And why would I be mad at you?”
“B-Because I broke something…” You sighed as you placed the bandage around his tiny finger.
“But it was just an accident, right? Accidents happen, and furthermore, we have dozens of plates. I would never be mad at something as simple as that. And I care far more for your well-being rather than a mere plate. So next time, please don’t lie to me. Okay, Zandy?” You said gently but firmly, as you finished treating his finger (a far cry from what his punishment used to be, living in that house.)
“Okay, [Name]...” The boy hugged you afterward, blinking back his tears on your shirt so you wouldn’t see them.
Dottore remembers when he overheard you talking to Zandy about him.
The stand-off between you and Dottore had gone on long enough for even Zandy to realize, even though you tried to keep him out of the loop. You should have guessed that the child was going to ask you eventually.
“[Name], are you and Prime fighting?” The question came out of nowhere, surprising you but you hoped it didn’t show.
“We are just having a… disagreement, dear. Nothing to worry about. And no, it isn’t about you or anyone else. It is just a personal thing between us,” you added before Zandy could inquire. You hoped he didn’t feel guilty.
“Do you miss him?
“Of course.”
“Then why fig- disagree so much?”
“Zandy, some things in life can only be resolved with disagreements. You’re not going to see eye to eye with everyone, even those you love. But they’re necessary so that you can move on and grow stronger together,” you explained. “Neither of us enjoys having spats… even though he treats them like a joke sometimes,” the last part was mumbled under your breath, “but we do get through them every time, and although it’s definitely not easy, it’s worth it.” Zandy blinked thoughtfully at your response, (an unconventional depiction of healthy love, rather than the conventional portrayal of an unhealthy one he once knew.)
“You’re really strong, [Name].”
“Strong? Not anymore. Patient? Yes,” you laughed, for you are the only one capable of loving a heretic.
Dottore remembers an awful lot, for someone who supposedly doesn’t care. He remembers all the moments you’ve spent with his child self, from when you were sleeping to when you woke up to the ones he heard through his segments. What you’ve introduced into Zandy’s life is the opposite of what Zandik’s life was like. Sheer love, to put it simply, even someone like him can see it, as he is no idiot. Dottore denies wanting to be accepted, and yet he is watching himself be accepted as he longed for. It makes him feel…
Regardless, this sort of mind wandering was no good for the Harbinger, especially the type where you have forced him to dwell about the child he is and isn’t. Before he knew it, the report sat untouched in front of him for a period of time.
Truly no good, and that is why his feet automatically move to find you once more. In truth, he hadn’t decided what he was going to say to you yet - whether to admit that in his heart he has yielded to you but his words will probably be the opposite.
It wasn’t hard to find you. You were usually in your room or a segment’s, or with a segment himself, minus the times you decided to take walks. At this time though, you’d probably be with the child.
Dottore was right. But it wasn’t quite what he had expected.
You and Zandy had fallen asleep… on the floor, hands barely brushing each other. Dottore sighed at the sight - at least it was rugged and not wooden. The cold wouldn’t have been good for either of you.
(Either of you?)
He made his way over to the two of you, bending down to move you to the bed. He first pulled your body to his chest with ease before his gaze flicked to the child next to you. His breath stills, hand hesitantly hovering over Zandy, fingers twitching with unease.
(Since when did he, the Second Harbinger, one that could very well be compared to a God, hesitate? This was foolish. It didn’t mean anything.)
And then Zandik slid his arm around the boy, bringing him into his chest too, and then rose to put you two comfortably to bed. He never thought he would ever tuck his child segment in, but here he was anyway.
It made him feel a little sick, the unfamiliar sensation along his fingertips and heart and mind.
But Dottore can’t resist giving you a kiss, having missed your lips for so long, which makes him feel a bit better. He’ll always have you, his beloved.
He should leave you two to rest properly, but he finds himself drawn to the scene in front of him. The ill feeling still remains somewhere, but a warmth that he wouldn’t name had started spreading too.
As he makes his way to leave the room, he dares not to look at the drawings scattered around, for they are persistent in portraying him as what he is not. In the poor scribbles, he is not a Harbinger, not a scholar or a scientist, nor a monster or the Doctor or Dottore in them.
He is just a man, one who can succumb to the side of him he so constantly rejects.
V. clumsy
You wouldn’t have believed last night happened if you weren’t there. But it did - you couldn’t sleep after you felt his warm embrace, but more importantly, after he held Zandy. You hadn’t even expected him to talk to the child so quickly, much less hold him so tenderly (even if that wasn’t his intention.) When it came to this kind of stuff, it was never easy to change his mind.
Needless to say, you were pleased but you knew he was never going to admit to it. However, you were still proud of him, and you were still determined to accomplish your goal.
Walking to Dottore’s office was something you had missed. When Zandy had asked you if you missed Dottore, the answer wasn’t just that you missed him - you longed for him, you yearned for his touch, you craved his presence. Such deep love was the reason why you wanted to help him.
When you get there, he’s preoccupied at his desk again. No matter how strong he may be, you still worry for his back sometimes. You should make some more snacks for him later too.
“Dottore,” you say as you walk in. The place was as boring-looking as it always is, the only decorations are the little trinkets you’ve gifted him that lay on his desk. His mouth opens to respond but he then immediately pauses, as he processes whose voice he’s hearing. He takes a few moments to study you as you continue to walk up to his desk, now standing in front of him just as you were the last time you were here.
“Hello, [Name].” He doesn’t show how nice it is to hear your voice again after so long, even though he has dealt with it for over four hundred years.
“Hello, Dottore. And how have you been?” Dottore watches you carefully with your line of questioning.
“As I’ve always have.” You hum in response as you glance at the papers on his desk, idly clicking and unclicking one of his numerous pens (that had yet to snap in half.) “I’ve heard your report for Pantalone is late. Is something occupying your mind, perhaps?”
“There is no such thing. The information is simply-”
“You know, I saw you last night, Zandik.” Your words cut him off as you watch his shoulders tense, and then relax. “I saw what you did.”
“I… see.” He probably knew it was futile to deny the claim. “And?” He watched as you walked around to his chair, your eyes glancing to his lap and back to his eyes as if asking for permission. He motioned for you to come closer, and you settled down on his lap, legs hooked over to the side. You were silent for a few moments before you reached for his large hand and held it with yours, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles.
“I won’t ask you to explain anything to me,” you began. “I… I don’t want to sound like I’m pitying you, I know you despise that, Zandik.” He remained silent. “But we,” you stressed on that word, “we can still make things right. It’s not too late to change things, no matter what’s happened before,” you said softly as you cupped Dottore’s cheek, caressing it gently. Your lover remained silent as he continued to look at you, his hand reaching to intertwine with your own.
“I remember every time your perspective clashed with mine,” he replied. You tried to ignore your rapid heartbeat. “And I remember the end result was that you were always right, and I was too stubborn. Yet you always pushed me to see it your way regardless.” Dottore’s hand rested on top of your head, stroking your hair as he considered his next words.
“Maybe this time I shall save myself the time and energy and listen to you instead.” You could have fainted, hearing Dottore admit that to you. Your mouth opened and closed, trying to find something to respond with, but there was nothing else you could do other than smile, ignoring the prick of tears in your eyes, and the way your breathing stuttered.
“... Thank you, Zandik. Thank you,” you whispered, nuzzling your face into his chest.
“However, I must say I may not be up to your-”
“You will,” you quickly interrupted. “You will be. You can do this, with me of course. We’ll take it slow and easy of course, I know this is quite hard and you’re busy and-” you continued to reassure him while squeezing his hand and nodding passionately, while he watched amused.
“I question where your confidence comes from.” You smiled, for that was an easy question.
“Because you are no monster, Zandik. Not to me, at least, the person who knows you better than anyone else. And even if the world views you as one, well… I suppose we would be two monsters together. That’s not too bad, right?” You chuckled, and he couldn’t help but smile a bit too.
“Perhaps you could be right.”
From then on, it was certainly a journey. An exhausting and long one to say the least. But it was also a rewarding one.
Obviously, even though he had given you his word, real life was different from the fantasy you wished for. There were still his overwhelming duties as a Harbinger, there were many days he didn’t even have time for you. And you - there were many days your illness left you far too tired to move around or even speak to anyone. And of course, Il Dottore was not going to change his ways overnight. It was hard dealing with him sometimes. There were still arguments. Clashes. Annoyance. It was never easy to mesh differentiating perspectives into one.
Still, nothing was enough to deter you or your love for him.
a. the potential attempt
The first step was to get them to be in the same space. Not even closely or with interaction, just to get them comfortable enough with each other. When you proposed the idea to Zandy, the baffled look on his face nearly made you laugh. He initially didn’t want to, which you could understand, but you played it off as wanting to spend time with both of them, considering how Dottore was frequently busy. Getting Zandy to agree wasn’t that hard, considering how much he loved you, but you still felt a bit bad. But this was for a good cause!
You were accustomed to chilling wherever Dottore was without fear. Zandy, on the other hand, was not the same. He spoke quietly and always flickered his eyes to see where and what Dottore was doing.
“Zandy, you don’t need to worry about him. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“But…”
“Trust me. I bet he can’t even hear us right now,” you nudged him to look at the older man. “See that look on his face? How hard he’s gripping his pen and how fast he’s writing? That’s how you know he’s so incredibly focused, he tunes out the rest of the world.” Still, the child didn’t look too convinced by your words, so you decided to prove it.
“Dottore, I made you some baklava,” you said rather loudly, yet there was no response. Zandy looked surprised now, you both knew how much Dottore enjoyed Sumerian desserts. “And, I brewed you a new pot of coffee.” His pen continued to scribble across the paper, as you then turned to Zandy.
“See? No need to feel so cautious.” Zandy’s shoulders seemed to relax until you spoke again. “Now you try it.”
“Me?!” Zandy whisper-yelled, looked as if you had asked him to commit a crime.
“Yes, you dear. How else will you get comfortable with him?” The child pouted and nuzzled into your arm, seeing as you weren’t going to give up. He chewed on his lip and he began to speak.
“I… Prime…,” Zandy tried to think of something, anything, “Prime… I ate your sweets!” The child immediately regrets it at record speed, anxiously hiding behind you.
“... My, my, how bold. Even I wouldn’t say that.” Zandy peeked out behind you and saw his creator was still diligently writing, and breathed a sigh of relief. “See, not that bad, right?” The boy nodded, but his mind wandered.
“[Name], I didn’t eat his sweets.” You cocked your head at his statement. “... But I think Beta did.”
“Oh dear. I suppose it’s time to get a lock on that fridge now… and then we need to make some more before-” At that moment, a snapping sound from the side made you two jump.
Ah. Dottore had finally broken his pen. Well, that one lasted longer than usual. You and Zandy watched with held breath as Dottore scowled and cast the broken utensil to the side, before looking at each other and trying to hold in laughter, avoiding the Harbinger’s eye contact and returning to what you two were previously doing. The man looked at your giggling faces with confusion.
“Is something the matter?”
“Not at all, love. Not at all,” you smiled, but by the fact that even his child segment seemed to be giggling, he knew you said something. (He ignores how foreign the laughter of the child sounds to him.)
Regardless, he sends you a look before shaking his head and returning to work (with a new pen.)
b. the awkward attempt
One of the moments that captured your heart was when Zandy walked in on Dottore giving you one of your shots. Needles weren’t unfamiliar to you anymore, and although they scared you (and still did, to be honest), thankfully Dottore and the segments had enough patience to make it as painless as possible. Zandy, however, never really saw the checkups or anything related because you really didn’t want to worry the child about your illness. But you supposed it would happen eventually.
The atmosphere had suddenly turned a bit awkward with Zandy now standing at the door, eyes on the rather large needle that sat on the tray, that was definitely going into none other than you. From his wide eyes, you could tell it probably wasn’t what he was expecting to see. Of course, needles, especially a big one like Dottore was holding, would scare any child his age.
“O-Oh! Zandy, you can wait outside for a few minutes. You don’t need to watch,” you explained, while Dottore stood silently next to you as he prepped the area of your arm. The child seemed conflicted for a few moments before he decided to walk closer to you and the Harbinger.
“No, it’s okay. I… want to see,” Zandy said. In reality, the boy knew you hid certain things from him and wished to know the truth. He wanted to know how badly you were hurt, maybe he could try and do something for you. (Perhaps this too, is a side effect of teaching him what love is.)
“You do? Well… I guess I won’t stop you then,” you said, a bit confused but you wouldn’t just send him away. Dottore placed a hand on your shoulder and got you to relax again for him. Meanwhile, Zandy had come up to the opposite side and looked at you with slightly worried eyes.
“Is it going to hurt, [Name]?”
“Well, it does prick a bit, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s the same as any other shot,” you tried to reassure him as his gaze became downcast. You bit your lip nervously, about to give him a solution, when out of nowhere Dottore himself spoke.
“Physical and emotional support from another party often makes the procedure less painful for the recipient,” he said in a monotone as if he wasn’t speaking to either of you at all. You and Zandy blinked at him before he continued. “I’m going to start the injection now.” Suddenly, it seemed like Zandy understood the message, as the child then grabbed your hand, and squeezed it with his much tinier one.
“You can do this, [Name]!” His instant enthusiasm distracted you from the prick of the needle, but also the fact that Dottore technically spoke to Zandy, encouraging him even. It was simply adorable.
“Zandy, I-”
“You know, there was one time I fell while-”
“Oh wow-”
“But I was okay because-”
“I see-” You had decided to continue smiling and nodding at the child’s attempt to distract you from the shot until he abruptly stopped, his eyes flickering to where Dottore had now finished bandaging the area.
“Ah, it’s finished,” you breathed a sigh of relief and deflated on the chair, but Zandy still had a load of energy for you to entertain.
“You didn’t even look a bit scared, [Name]!” You grinned and ruffled his hair.
“Why, I doubt anything in this world could scare me when I have my lovely son and husband with me,” you smiled as you kissed Zandy’s forehead, which he beamed at while Dottore turned away to clean up, an attempt to ignore how the scene made his chest feel.
A family, huh?
What a strange thing.
c. the successful attempt
You were quite proud of the progress Zandy and Dottore had made together, but still, the most important part remained. Now that you had gotten them to be in the same room with each other, you wanted them to at least manage a few short conversations. That was the biggest and most difficult part of this whole thing, but starting small was always the key. And so you decided to somewhat ‘force’ them into such situations. How? By just making the child run errands for you. (Sure, you could have let things run their natural course, but with these two, they definitely needed some kind of push.)
An easy way to make Dottore lighten up was to cook something yummy for him, with bonus points if it was something from his homeland. So that was what you and Zandy did - whipped up a bunch of samosas and even a pita pocket (since you knew he had definitely been skipping meals, much to your dismay.) You had packaged them nicely in a container for him to eat at his leisure and instructed Zandy to deliver them. He seemed less nervous than before but still a bit on edge, nevertheless determined to fulfill your wishes, as he soon found himself in Prime’s office. The man seemed surprised. The child avoided eye contact. The room was silent, without you to act as a middleman.
But Dottore decided to begin.
“Did you need something?” Zandy perked up at the acknowledgment and quickly began walking to his desk, slightly standing up on his tippy-toes to push the container of food in front of his creator.
“[Name] and I made this for you. They said you need to eat more or they’ll get mad again,” the child repeated your words verbatim, trying to gauge Dottore’s reaction. The scholar’s hands glided against the plastic, looking at the tasty treats that lay inside.
“I see. Thank you.” He began to set them to the side before Zandy spoke again.
“Um, they also want you to try one.” Dottore paused. Of course you would say that, he sighed.
“Very well.” He opened the container and picked out a samosa, the snack still warm. He ignored how enticing it was to his stomach and began to lift it to his mouth when he stopped and pushed the box closer to his child segment. Zandy looked at him with curious eyes and he motioned for him to take one. Happily, the boy indulged his request and popped the samosa into his mouth, which Dottore soon followed suit, the two savoring the flavors of your delicious and homey cooking.
“How would you say that was?” He questioned Zandy. The child still had trouble he was being acknowledged so much but responded in kind.
“The most delicious thing ever!”
“I would say the same.” And that was the end of the conversation, as Dottore returned to his work and Zandy scurried away, both content with the conclusion. Dottore’s answers may have been short and swift, but it was progress.
By now Dottore had caught onto your little game, while Zandy was just happy to be helpful to you. There were a lot of other instances where you sent him to Dottore - to fetch some medication, to bring Dottore a letter (that totally didn’t just have three words on it), to bring him some new writing utensils, and much more. The occurrences were all short, but they were beginning to grow a lot less awkward. You were happy.
This time you asked Zandy to fetch a book from Dottore, which was actually a legitimate request this time. He really wanted to learn more about those Ruin Machines, and you figured it would be a lot easier if you had a book as a reference. (Dottore had not yet gotten used to the Zandy’s appearances, still a bit stiff and unsure about the whole thing. But they weren’t unwelcome visits, no, they were starting to become a constant in his life.)
Zandy, on the other hand, had already started to feel much better about interacting with Prime Dottore, thanks to your words and Dottore’s much better actions. The once dreaded path to his office had now become a lot more lighthearted. Sure, he was still a bit tense sometimes, but he thinks most people are that way around Dottore (except you, you’re special), so when he finally makes it to his creator’s office once more he’s not too scared. The older man doesn’t seem to be surprised at his visits anymore.
“And what request do you come to me for today?”
“[Name] and I need a book.” Dottore’s eyes widened. You knew the kind of books he had were… well, inappropriate for some eyes. “A book about Ruin Machines and Guards and Graders and Hunters and their parts and designs and all that cool stuff!”
“I see.” Well, that made more sense. The Harbinger got up from his seat to retrieve a book on that topic, when a sudden and uncharacteristic thought came over him. He did enjoy reading books, as they were a wondrous source of information, but he still far preferred hands-on learning. He wondered if… if perhaps his younger self would prefer that too right now.
No, he knew Zandy would, he was literally him when he was a kid, but the question was whether Dottore was up to this or not. A while ago, this situation would have been impossible. But now, it was a possibility, an outcome that only Dottore could choose to achieve. He stared at Zandy, who had begun to get a bit nervous at the strange attention.
“If you’re busy-”
“Would you prefer it if I showed you instead, rather than simply viewing pictures?”
“Like the actual machines?” Zandy’s eyes glowed with excitement.
“No, just the parts. But I believe it will be more interesting than only examining them in a book.” He could already hear you in his ear if he decided to let the child near those things, especially without you. Zandy only felt a moment of disappointment before he quickly bounced back.
“Please! I want to see the parts! Can I touch them too? Will you show me what they do?” His barrage of questions was sudden, but the scientist found himself enjoying them. After all, if no one else will indulge his curiosity, then he must do so himself, no matter what age he is.
(Although he’s only a few minutes into the explanation, his younger self’s eyes glimmer with a brightness he’s never seen, or at least never noticed before. Were his eyes always this red? You always compliment the color of his, but he can’t seem to remember his eyes ever having such a radiant gleam. He ignores it, for he’s sure his own eyes were never like that as a child.)
Meanwhile, you were left wondering why the boy had been gone so long. Did something happen? You decided to make your way over to Dottore’s office when you heard the voices spilling out of the ajar door. A young and chirpy one, and an old and tired one, and yet they both seemed equally as excited about whatever the subject matter was.
Peeking in, you were beyond surprised to see your husband and child sitting next to each other, a variety of mechanical parts surrounding the two. Zandy was examining one while Dottore rambled on about it, yet in a logically sound way that even a child could understand. You remember the same thing happening to you back in the Akademiya.
Your heart beat excitedly at this discovery. The way they seemed comfortable with each other, despite their strained relationship from a while ago… in fact, perhaps you could say it looked like a father and his son. All that was missing was the other parent. But should you ruin the moment? You wanted it to last forever…
Unfortunately, staring for too long had attracted the attention of Zandy, who brightened even more at your presence, and quickly waved you over, which also alerted Dottore. Well, there was no hiding anymore, as you began to walk towards the two you loved the most.
“Well well, lucky you, Zandy. To get a lesson from none other than Dottore in Automatons! But oh, I am a bit hurt. Are my teaching skills not up to par for you two?” You teased them lightheartedly, which Zandy giggled at, and Dottore scoffed.
“Fa- Prime wanted to show me the stuff instead of us going through that huge book together. It’s much more fun this way! Oh, but I should have come and told you though… sorry.” Dottore didn’t say anything, but you didn’t need him to. You went to the opposite side of Zandy and sat down, wrapping your arm around him.
“Perhaps I too could be one of your students, Dottore? Zandy and I are eager to learn more!” Dottore let out a sigh at your antics.
“Then listen carefully, because I will not repeat myself to you.”
“How cruel!”
The laughter of two echoed throughout the room, while the other could only smile.
VI. coldness
You loved your family very much. That was obvious to anyone who saw you with them.
Pantalone who asked about how your son was faring, and if your husband would be able to produce sufficient results soon. Columbina who liked to play dress up with you and Zandy to wear matching outfits, while Dottore obviously refused to entertain her nonsense. Childe who couldn’t help but be fond of Zandy as well, tempted to introduce him to Teucer, but also greatly questioned your choice of husband (and father.) The Fatui agents who watched you squish the young segment’s cheeks and tease your imposing Harbinger husband in broad daylight. It was certainly something to see, and one wouldn’t believe it until they saw it with their own eyes.
Meanwhile, the segments had been onlookers on the whole thing.
You were sure each individual segment felt a bit differently about the situation, but the general feeling was probably jealousy. Jealousy toward Zandy for being able to take up so much of your attention. Well, that had always been the case since you’d met the child, but it increased a lot since your journey to help Dottore reconcile with his past self. You just hoped as the years went by, their attitude would change. If you had gotten Prime to change, then his segments weren’t impossible, right? You did see a few of them start to be a bit more patient with Zandy!
Regardless, you were more than happy with the outcome. Dottore and Zandy were talking to each other like normal human beings now. Sure, there were still moments where they were awkward and silent, which was to be expected considering how many years went by with their relationship nonexistent.
Physical affection, however… well, it still had some work left. The only person he wanted to touch him was you since he had known you for so long. Even then, sometimes you couldn’t when he wasn’t in a good mood. So coming to terms with Zandy touching him so casually was still something to get used to. Still, he seemed to have gotten used to the hand brushing and even patted the child’s hair when he did well. On good days, perhaps the child would even be in his lap.
Still, now that you had helped create a bond between them, nothing could stop their progress. Nothing at all.
Dottore still never admitted the change in his feelings to you, but you didn’t need a concrete answer when his actions spoke louder. You lived for the new conversations that now occurred as a result of Zandy, like when he tells you about the time they spent together.
“I’ve heard that you’ve started teaching Zandy more now, Dottore.” (Trying to steal your role as a teacher again, huh?)
“Indeed. We have moved on to quantum physics as well as-” He continued to list off topics you definitely did not study as a child.
“How… enriching, I’m sure.” Perhaps you should start crashing the lessons to make sure he doesn’t overload the poor kid’s brain too much…
Or when you hear about how much they both care for you.
“[Name]?”
“Yes, Dottore?”
“How have you been feeling as of late?” His hands crept up around your neck, brushing his fingers along your collarbones.
“Fine. The same as always,” you responded, which was sort of a truth and lie. You were technically fine, but there had been more days lately that had been a slog to get through with your illness and all. You didn’t want to admit that though. Dottore dragged his fingers along your shoulders in response.
“That’s a lie.” Your face heated up a bit from the proximity.
“That’s not-”
“Zandy,” he began, the name still a bit foreign on his tongue, “told me you’ve barely been sleeping as late. And the tiredness makes it difficult for you to move around. Why didn’t you tell me?” You slumped a bit in your seat at the discovery. You didn’t think the child would know that much less tell Dottore.
“How did he know?”
“He can hear you rustling around in the bed all night,” your husband said flatly as you sighed.
“I’m sorry, love…”
“Next time, I would prefer to hear my spouse’s troubles from their lips rather than someone else. Now come here.”
Or the simpler silly conversations.
“Why did you name him that?” He said one day while lounging on your lap. It was one of those days when it was necessary for him to rant to you about everything and anything.
“Name who what?”
“... Zandy.” Hearing Dottore get used to the name was still amusing to you.
“Why not? There’s a reason why all the segments like their names now, you know. It’s cute, it fits him, he likes it, and it’s way better than what you did,” you teased. Dottore grumbled.
“I still believe there were better options.”
“Yes, yes, says the one who names every experiment with a few letters and numbers. Now continue telling me about Pantalone’s audacity.”
You were happy. Zandy was happy. And you were pretty sure Dottore was happy too. Even through the toughest days, you knew that you had them, and that made things better. You believed nothing in the world would change that or take that away from you.
So when you heard that some of the segments were heading to Sumeru, you weren’t too worried. It was just another mission for them, and although the importance of this one was much higher, you had no doubt the segments would handle it with ease. The lab was emptier than normal, but at least that gave you more time to play with him.
“[Name], why do we go and collect Gnoses?” Zandy was still unaware of quite a few things, as others were unwilling to explain the details of them.
“So that we can fight Celestia,” you hummed as you turned the page of the book. Currently, you two were reading a rather interesting fantasy story, and the two of you had gotten up to the most crucial part - whether the protagonist would choose to further his ambitions or save the one he cherished.
“Why do we need to fight them?”
“Because they’re bad people,” you said as simply as possible.
“When are we going to fight them?”
“I don’t know, but one day we will.”
“Is it going to be scary?”
“Yes, it will. But I will protect you, from now until the end of time, so there’s no need to worry.”
“Okay,” Zandy said, but he still looked a bit sad, naturally. You softly stroked his fluffy hair.
“Don’t dwell on it. You still have lots and lots of happy memories to make,” you soothed him and kissed his forehead. “Nothing bad will happen to you.”
“Thanks, [Name],” he cuddled more into your side as you continued to read the story aloud to him.
The days passed as they always did. Tests. Checkups. The bickering of segments. Dottore popped up here and there, still busy with the Sumeru mission even though he remained at the lab. As always, Zandy remained a constant in your life when everyone else was too busy for you, so you were happy.
It had happened in the middle of a nap when you were shaken awake furiously. When you regained consciousness, you first registered your body being tossed from side to side, and then the blinding light from above. Ugh. What time was it, you wondered, because your mind next processed the desperate voice next to you.
“[Name]! [Name], please, please wake up. Please, he’s going to-” The sheer fright in his voice was enough to jolt you back to reality. You quickly rubbed your eyes and pulled yourself up to face the boy. You wondered what could have happened for Zandy to be this frantic, but the look on his face made your throat close up.
Bright red eyes on the verge of tears, flushed face, quivering lip, and shaking body. A terrible feeling rested in the pit of your stomach as you were speechless for a moment before Zandy grabbed your hands again, begging you to say something.
“Zandy, s-slow down. Start from the beginning. What’s wrong? Who is going to do what?” You placed your hands on his shoulders, pulling him closer in an attempt to calm him. It didn’t seem to do much.
“Omega, Omega’s going to delete me for-”
“What?!” Your voice came out as a shriek. “Tell him no! Tell him I said to stop! I- come with me!” You had already begun to pull him out of bed and out the door, looking like a mess but that wasn’t a worry at all, not right now. Zandy followed you aimlessly, sniffling and sputtering out words.
“B-But not just me, all the other segments are going to be e-erased too! Alpha, Beta, Delta-” You paused, deep fear instilling in your heart as you too began to breathe heavily. Still, you swooped down to Zandy’s height and hugged him, putting on a brave face.
“I won’t let it happen - you’ll be fine. We’ll just go to Prime, and then he’ll-”
“He approved it, though,” Zandy’s voice was tiny as he stared down at his feet as if he too was unwilling to believe he would be betrayed like this. You felt like you were going to be sick, heat rushing to your face, burning you alive.
“What?” Your voice was just as small as the child’s.
“Well, he’s not happy about it, but-” You gritted your teeth.
“I won’t accept it. You will not suffer such a fate, I pro-” You stopped when you heard footsteps approaching.
It was the person you wanted to see the least and most at the same time.
“Dottore,” your voice initially came out exhausted as you forced your shaky legs to stand up again, “Dottore, you best explain yourself right now,” you hissed, the malice now undeniable. “Tell me that this isn’t true.” Dottore opened his mouth to speak, but he seemed to realize that it would not be the answer you desired. The Harbinger’s eyes landed on his child self, who now clung to your leg in fear. Zandy looked at him in a way he hadn’t seen in a long time. Dottore ignored all emotions and focused on his logic.
“It’s neces-”
“Don’t you dare say that!” You interrupted him, hopefully before the child could hear his own creator (or perhaps, father) say he was dispensable. “That’s not true, you know it’s not-” Your words were interrupted by Zandy clutching his head and squeezing your leg deathly tight, the thoughts of the other segments reaching an all-time loud high.
“It’s happening… O-Omega’s going to do it,” the child had broken into full tears as he listened to the others vehemently deny Omega’s decision. He then frantically clawed at your leg, reaching for your hand for some sort of comfort.
“[Name], I don’t want to go! I don’t want to leave you! I don’t want to…” The one in the beginning of his life, the picture of innocence, dared to take one last look at the one in the prime of his life, who he couldn’t recognize anymore. The last word died on his lips. Your heart wrenched and pounded painfully as you looked away to beg Dottore again.
“Dot- Zandik, do something. Please, please stop Omega. I won’t ask for anything else ever again. Y-You can’t take him away from me…! Please!”
And then you felt your hand become empty, and your leg become cold. Bile began to bubble in your throat. You felt like you were going to throw up, wondering if you should dare look back down.
You did anyway.
There was just empty space, Zandy nowhere to be found. Not even his clothes, not a single thing left of him. He had disap- no, he was dead.
Zandy was dead.
Your child was dead.
Your mind was very loud, despite not thinking about anything at all. Your hand twitched, trying to grasp the warmth that was there just a few moments ago. You tried to pretend there was the sensation of him holding you again.
Unfortunately, imagination can’t replicate reality.
You don’t even realize how close Dottore had gotten to you, eyes still frozen on the spot where Zandy just was.
“[Name].” His voice brings you back, but not for a good reason. You blink as you mechanically turn your head to face him. You don’t understand why he isn’t bothered. You don’t understand why he did this. You don’t understand anything. And then your face, which was as still as a statue, suddenly became enveloped in grief and tears. Your husband slightly grimaced at your expression.
“[Name],” he tried again, “I-”
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, in that tone of voice,” you snapped amidst your continuous tears. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just done to them? To me? To us?” You weren’t sure which you would prefer - that he wasn’t sure about how much this would pain you, or that he did know but went ahead with it anyway. And it wasn’t just you, now that Zandy was gone… he would never be able to make peace with what he was.
“My last words to Zandy were a lie,” you cried. “A lie! I didn’t even tell him that I cared for him, how much I cherished him, how I loved the time I spent with him, how much I loved him!”
“Did any of the time we three spent together mean anything? Did he mean anything to you, Zandik? Or was it just a lie?” You relentlessly spat at him, refusing to let him get in a word. “You just used him and the other segments as bargaining chips. Pawns. They weren’t tools… my child wasn’t expendable, he was a person too,” you sank to the floor, your whole body trembling and immensely fatigued, but your mouth kept moving, wrapped in your incoherent grief. “I thought we could-, no, we were a family… Was I the only one who cared?”
Dottore could only watch as you broke apart in front of him. What could he have said to extinguish your tears? That he didn’t quite want to do this either, but he had to? Regardless of the newly acquired feelings about his segment, nothing… nothing could come in the way of what he had to do.
“Would you do the same to me, Zandik? Would you trade me for a Gnosis, too…?” Dottore stiffened at the question. It was never something he’d thought you’d say, considering how foolish it was. Him? Give you up? No, he would never. Never. He would sooner let all of Teyvat burn but-
“He was just a kid,” you sobbed. “He was just a little boy. How could you? You… you…!” Dottore could feel your sheer rage and sadness easily, his hands wanting to reach out and offer you some sort of comfort.
But he was a monster, and he knew it.
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#dottore x reader#il dottore x reader#genshin dottore x reader#dottore fluff#dottore angst#il dottore#genshin il dottore#fatui x reader#fatui harbingers x reader#zandik x reader#genshin impact dottore#genshin dottore#genshin impact zandik#dottore#dottore genshin#genshin impact x you#fragile reader <3#divider by cafekitsune
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Joel Miller Headcanons
Joel's And Your First Time
18 + Minor's DNI 🚫
Joel can't remember the last time he felt a connection this strongly with a woman. He finds himself lost in your enigmatic pull, noticing every little thing about you, from the way your nose scrunches when you giggle, how you become so passionate when talking about a subject close to your heart, the way you hold yourself with grace, your playful and witty personality and how your natural beauty radiates without even having to try.
Sometimes he can't fathom how someone like you could want someone like him, yet here you both are, seven months into your relationship. That word still sound so strange to Joel. In a brutal world of cordyceps and lawlessness he'd never even wanted a romantic relationship. For the longest time he was fine with no strings attached hookups, never daring to invest any emotion in a woman who could be torn away in the blink of an eye. It was better that way.
But then you waltzed into his life and pulled the rug from under his feet, sending his walls crashing to the ground. A few months of flirting, subtle gestures and stolen glances was all it took before the two of you confessed your mutual love for one another and you've both been inseparable ever since, even gaining the nickname 'The Lovebirds' by some of Jackson's residents.
Sitting on the setee, watching your eyes sparkle in the light of the fireplace as you tell Joel yet another story of your life 'Before', he realises how much he hangs on your every word, the sweet lilt of your voice is something he'll never be able to get enough of. Setting his whisky glass on your table, Joel turns back to you observing how you suddenly seem nervous. "You okay?'" Joel asks, his voice soft with concern. "Yeah... um... I'm good," you answer sheepishly, then put your glass next to his.
Before Joel knows what's happening, you're straddling his lap, kissing him deeply and sensually, your hands delicately gripping his hair, while his own find their way to your waist, pulling you tight against his body. Your sudden moan into his mouth electrifies Joel's entire body, arousal coursing it's way south. "Joel?..." his name leaves your lips in a breathless whisper, as you pull away slightly, noses still touching. "Mmhmm," Joel hums, lost in the haze of you. "I want you to make love to me." Oh, that cleared his foggy mind!
He pulls his head back, quickly, assessing your expression to see if it's what you really want, if maybe you'd just let it slip out without thinking, but all he can see is love and want written all over your face. "Are you sure?" he asks, just to be thorough, "I told you I don't mind waiting." Hell, he'd wait until the end of time if that's what it took just to be with you. He knows that to you, sex is a very emotional and intimate act, never being one for hookups and he respects the hell out of that. After all, everyone is different.
He let's out a deep groan as you rub your core over his very obvious hard-on. "I want you, Joel. I want all of you," you purr seductively into his ear, "I'm ready, take me to bed, baby." Joel chuckles at the little yelp you give as he grips both of your arse cheeks and effortlessly stands up, carrying you up the stairs with ease. He gently sets you down on the bed, lifting your chin to look ardently in to your eyes. "You really want this?" "I do," you smile up at him with the biggest heart eyes, "I want to feel the man I love inside me."
Joel wastes no time in pulling your top off, followed by your bra, all of your clothes, until you are fully naked before him and what a fucking sight you are! "So beautiful," Joel gushes as he takes in the sight of utter perfection. Moments later, his own clothes are a discarded pile on the floor and he watches as your roving eyes greedily drink him in, staring at his hardened shaft, while biting your bottom lip. You eagerly pull Joel on top of you as you lay back on the bed. Hands wander, seeking out bare flesh as you both fully explore each other's bodies for the first time.
Joel trails wet, languid kisses down you neck, feeling your pulse quicken under his tounge, until he reaches your breasts. He gently latches his mouth to your breast, swirling his tounge around your pebbled nipple. A grin spreads over his face as you arch your chest upwards, seeking more of his mouth. Joel releases your nipple with a 'pop' and a devilish smirk. "I'm gonna take good care of you, sweetheart," he croons while slowly moving his fingers to your soft folds. "So wet already," he marvels, "All this for me, huh?"
His fingers then find your clit and he starts to rub in circles, gradually building speed, resulting in a spectacle he'll never forget; Your head tipped back, mouth in the shape of an 'o', your chest heaving and the melody of your euphoric cry as he draws the first orgasm from your trembling body. He allows you to catch your breath for a minute, enjoying your blissed out appearance. "Think you can give me another one, sweetheart?" he asks in a sultry tone. "Mmhmm...," you nod, deliriously.
Joel's thick fingers slide down to your entrance, carefully parting your lips. Slowly and delicately, he pushes one finger into the warmth of your tunnel, followed by another, stroking your spongy spot until he can tell you're close. He kisses down your belly as your moans grow louder, finally settling on your clit. Between pumping his fingers in and out and licking and sucking your sensitive bundle, he has turned you into a writhing mess beneath him, griping his hair and bucking up into his mouth.
Every obscene moan, pant and wail coming from you is music to Joel's ears, causing him to smile against your sex. He's the one making you feel this good. With a shudder of your thighs and a scream of his name, your second orgasm crashes over you, coating him in your juices. Joel laps at your release like a man parched, the sweetest nectar to ever grace his tastebuds. "You still with me, darling?" Joel teases as he moves up your body to kiss you, giving you a taste of your own release. "Yeah... Joel, that was.. wow!" you pant as you begin to come back down from your high.
Joel's painfully hard cock presses into your hip, a testament to just how much he wants you. "Your turn," you smirk as you reach down, wrapping your soft hand around his girth, slowly pumping, while spreading a bead of pre cum over his glistening head. Joel knows he won't last much longer if you keep this up. Reaching down to lightly grab your hand, he stops your ministrations. "Darling, I'm not gonna last much longer like this and I want to feel your pussy around my cock, now," he groans. " Then take it," you purr, nipping his neck, "It's all yours."
Good god! He feels ready to blow his load from your words alone. Lining himself up at your entrance, Joel gazes into your eyes as he slowly sinks into your heat, causing both of you to gasp as he bottoms out. Your arms and legs wrap around his body, holding him in place, both of you remaining still to relish in this new intimacy. After a few moments you whine, "Fuck me, Joel!", your hand grabbing his arse cheek. He dosen't need to be told twice! Pulling out to the tip, he pushes himself back in, with just the right amount of force to begin with, thrusting harder and faster as your moans become louder and your nails dig into his shoulders. "oh, Joel! Right there, baby!"
He knows there'll be little crescent shapes over his back for a few days. He'll wear them as a badge of honour! "Fuck, sweetheart! So...ugh... tight,... ugh... so perfect!" He's getting close now, wishing it would never end; The velvety soft warmth enveloping his dick, squeezing and pulsing with every thrust is intoxicating, heightening all of his senses. The downright sinful sounds of wet skin slapping against wet skin, accompanied with your cry of his name may just be Joel's new favourite sounds.
Joel reaches between your bodies to circle your clit once again, determined to draw one last orgasm from you before he reaches his own climax. It only takes several seconds before you are clamping down on his cock, thighs gripping him like a vice, voice shuddering as you gush all over his pubic area. Chasing his own release, Joel asks, "where do you want me?" "On my... tits," you reply breathlessly. Another few thrusts and Joel quickly pulls out, painting your heaving chest in thick ropes of hot cum.
He flops down beside you as you both catch your breath. Pressing his forehead to yours and gently stroking your arm, Joel whispers, "You okay, darling? Wasn't too rough?" The blissfully fucked out look on your face alone tells Joel you're okay. "I'm great, baby. More than great!" Joel gazes adoringly at you while you cup his cheek in one hand. "That was everything I hoped it would be. How was it for you?" Joel smiles broadly, "Fucking amazing, sweet girl!" He presses a kiss to your forehead, then to your nose, then to your lips.
"Be right back," he says as he heads to the bathroom. Moments later he returns with a warm, wet towel and tenderly cleans you up. Laying back down beside you, he takes you in his arms, bringing your head to rest on his chest as you both bask in the afterglow of your actions. Joel can tell by your slow, even breathes that you've fallen alseep. He takes this moment to appreciate everything about you, his heart aching with how much love he holds for you. You are IT for him, The One, and you were absolutely worth waiting for.
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fandom#joel miller fic#joel miller x you#joel miller imagine#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader
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Hiii! Idk if you accept requests but I decided to try and ask you anyway… I’ve read an amazing fan fiction in which Levi and the reader were secretly together and the reader was his lieutenant… Sooo, could I ask a Levi x lieutenant reader were the reader gets injured while outside the walls and like, Levi can’t show he cares too much cause he’s like “cold ice captain Levi” but he’s like worried for her?
I’ve been a lil sick lately and I wanted to cheer myself up a bit… Thank youuu! ❤️❤️
Hiii, I hope you're feeling better now, love <33
Levi pulled on the reins, coming to a stop in front of Erwin.
"All back?" He asked, glancing around the scouts spread all around.
"Almost." Erwin replied, giving a slight nod of acknowledgement to Levi. "Just recovering the fallen."
This was the worst part, Levi thought. After the expeditions. People die during, that was known. But it doesn't really sink in when you're more focused on saving your own life. But after, once it's all over and time to go back, when you're wrapping your friends' remains in the white fabric, it finally hits. All that you've lost and gained almost nothing in return.
He watched the slumped figures of the survivors. They fought hard to make it out, but their faces showed no sign of relief, only guilt. Blank, empty and tired expressions. They've seen it before and yet, they never get used to it.
He stared at Petra, who was comforting a younger scout, possibly a new recruit. The latter was green, eyes red rimmed. Gunther stood by, watching the two with a grim expression.
Levi looked away. What an unpleasant sight.
But where were you?
He only realized then, why he felt so uneasy. There was a strange emptiness surrounding him but he had been too absorbed into the mission to spare much attention to it. But now in the calm after the storm, he realized it was the lack of you.
You weren't with him.
But you were always there with him. Why weren't you now?
Levi frowned. He couldn't even remember the last time he had seen you or even when you slipped away. He had just assumed you were by him, as always.
But how long had you been gone and he hadn't realized it?
"Medics!" A sharp yell jolted him out of his thoughts. "Medics over here!"
He turned around towards the sound. It was Moblit, running towards him, face scrunched up in concern. And he was holding something, something bloody, something limp, something.... someone?
And he realized when Moblit's eyes locked onto his, the usually calm man's eyes were wide, panic stricken.
In Moblit's arms were you.
And for a second he didn't move. He couldn't move.
He stared, blurred figures rushing past him towards you as Moblit laid you and your face came into view. And he could only stare, his heart going quieter..and quieter..
Time had stopped around him.
Blood pounded in his ears.
And slowly, hesitantly, he slid down his horse, and the feel of the ground beneath his feet finally kicked start his heart.
Sounds crashed to him like a wave, drowning him.
And his legs moved, unwillingly, every nerve in his body warning him to turn away, to walk away, because the sight would only confirm it.
But not you. It couldn't have been you.
You were with him, just hours ago.
It can't have been you.
Yet when he heard the sound of your name, hushed whispers coming from the crown, he knew it was you.
He finally reached the small crowd of people, they immediately backed away, parting a way at his arrival. Murmurs brushed past, but he could hardly focus on the words.
There you laid, head resting on one of the medics' lap as they tried their best to fix you, wrapping bandages hastily around your head. The grass underneath you was scarlet–with your blood, he realized. Your blood. You were bleeding. Uncontrollably. Why were you bleeding how could you be bleeding you weren't supposed to be fucking bleeding—
"Captain!" Petra's alarmed voice reached his ears and he turned his head towards her, who had her mouth covered by her hands, eyes wide. "Captain, the blood–it's too much—"
"How the hell did this even happen–" Oruo let out a curse under his breath. "Wasn't the idiot supposed to be with captain–"
Levi swallowed, fingers digging into his palm.
You were supposed to be with him.
Not wrapped in bandages. Not lying in a pool of your own blood.
And as if you had somehow heard his thoughts, you opened your eyes, just a crack. They flickered rapidly, hazy gaze frantically moving as if searching for something. And then it landed on him and a ragged sigh of relief brushed past your lips.
"...Levi?" A whisper.
And then your eyes fell shut again.
Silence fell. Levi stiffened, staring straight at your face. People were rigid and even the medics froze. Eyes bounced from your face to Levi's, whether it was just delirious ramble, the direct address to the captain had shocked everyone.
Levi didn't say anything. And even if he was surprised, his face showed no sign of it, it was as blank and expressionless as it had always been.
Not a single crack in his composure to see one of his most important soldiers lying on their deathbed.
Levi only shot a glance at one of the medics, raising a brow.
"Sir," The white clad figure hastened to speak, immediately understanding the gesture. "We stopped the bleeding. It should be alright. Though when she'd regain consciousness again.."
Levi nodded, turning on his heels and walking away, leaving the crowd gaping at him.
"Weren't they close? Friends even?" He heard soft murmurs. "He looks barely fazed."
"That's captain Levi. What did you expect?" Another hissed.
"Levi." Erwin was staring at him as he slid back up to his horse, the question clear underneath the statement.
"She'll live." Levi replied tonelessly.
-
"Captain."
Levi froze, snapping his head towards the familiar, familiar voice.
There you were, standing besides Hange. You only gave a slight nod while Hange grinned, waving at him.
"Look, look, Levi!" Hange beamed, pointing at you. "She's all better now, aren't you glad?"
Levi stared at you, eyes scanning your face. Dark circles framed your eyes and your face was ashened. Your head was still wrapped in bandages but it seemed you're well enough to move now, to at least be released from the hospital.
He hadn't seen you for 2 weeks.
And Levi wasn't just glad, he was fucking relieved, but his face showed no sign of it, as expressionless as ever. As if he could hardly care.
"Well, you look like shit." He said, his voice flat.
There was a glimmer of amusement behind your eyes but you bit back the grin. "Pleasure as always, captain." You replied politely.
Hange was more offended than you. They gaped at Levi, horrified. "Oi Levi," They gasped. "Can't you be nicer? Kid almost died, for walls sake."
Levi glanced at Hange, eyes blank. "Well, she's walking around just fine."
"But—" Hange protested, but he turned to you.
"You." He said, frowning.
"Yes, sir?" You asked.
"Get back to work as soon as you can. You're already lagging behind." He said, turning to leave.
"Hey—that's all you got to say?!" Hange yelled at him as he walked out of sight. "He's so weird. And rude too." They murmered, glancing at you. "I don't even know why you're in his squad. He treats you like shit. You can come join my squad you know?"
"He treats everyone like shit, Hange." You shrugged, your eyes still towards the way he left. "That's captain Levi for you."
-
You were walking down a corridor when a door creaked open besides you. And before you could even realize, something wrapped around your wrist, pulling you into the small dark room.
And then arms wrapped around you, trapping you in a strong embrace, almost suffocating you. You would've been scared had you not recognized his scent.
You coughed, caught off guard by the sudden grip. You lightly tapped against his arms. "Capt—Levi." You spluttered. "This is very sweet and shit, but I need air."
He let you go, but his hands still gripped your shoulders hard.
"You fucking idiot." He hissed. "How the fuck did you even get hurt?"
"You're so nice to me." You grumbled, not without a hint of affection.
"I'm serious. Do you have any fucking idea how worried I was?"
"No, sorry. I was busy being half-dead."
"Don't." He sighed, his voice returning back to his usual volume. He sounded exhausted. "Don't even joke about that."
"The broom closet? Really?" You grinned, looking around to realize what the tiny space was.
He scrunched his face. "Don't blame me." He said. "Why is Hange always following you, christ. Are you my squad member or theirs? I had to wait all fucking day to get you alone."
"You really could've just called me to your office—"
"With the brats piping in every 10 seconds? There's no privacy in this damn facility." He huffed.
The darkness was finally starting to settle over your eyes and now that you had a better chance to look at him more carefully, you realized, he looked exhausted.
"I've been away for a few days and you look like you're about to drop dead." You clicked your tongue disapprovingly. "When's the last time you slept?"
"Guess who's fucking fault that is?"
"Awh, you couldn't sleep cause you were worried about me?" You smiled.
"Don't look so smug." He said, but didn't deny it.
"So worried, but you didn't even visit me for all of 2 weeks I've been stuck in the hospital."
"Because you're always surrounded by people." He said exasperatedly. "Whenever I went. It's always Nanaba, or Hange. Petra."
"Yeah but, you could've just peeked by—" You said, almost sadly. "I missed you."
He sighed. "People would've talked."
You pouted. "A captain visiting his half dead lieutenant, oh the scandal."
He looked at you, noticing your expression. He frustratedly ran his hands through his hair, frowning.
"Believe me, I wanted to." He mumbled. "But I'm afraid I surely would've caused a scandal."
"Yes?" Your mouth tugged slightly, your sad face giving out.
"Don't think I could've resisted kissing the shit out of you." He sighed, face flushing at the admission. "Holy shit, I was so scared."
" 'Humanity's strongest' has questionable self-control it appears." You raised a brow.
"When it's you?" He shook his head, leaning to press his forehead against yours. And when he closed his eyes, his long lashes almost touched your face. "Walls, I'm pathetic."
You grinned, patting his head.
"Missed you." He mumbled quietly, his breathing was slow, shoulders relaxed. As if with you was the only ever time he could breathe properly.
"Missed you too." You said softly.
And for a few seconds, you two just stood there, in a peaceful silence, listening to each other breath and breathing in the presence of each other.
And then the bliss was gone.
"Has anyone seen captain Levi?" A voice floated in through the crack of the door. "He's not in his office."
"Fucking hell." Levi cursed under his breath, raising his head.
"You better go." You giggled silently, shoulders shaking. "You don't want them finding you here, do you?"
Levi cringed internally, but stood up straight, brushing his clothes. "I swear if it isn't something important..." He muttered, daekly. Then looked up at you. "As for you, drop by my office later tonight. You need to catch up on your work." He spared a glance at you.
"I assure you, captain, lots of work would be done." You grinned, giving him a mock two-finger salute.
He grimaced, but his face flushed.
"Also." He reached for the doorknob. "Next time in an expedition you leave my side, I'm breaking your fucking legs."
@sad-darksoul @anxious-chick @raginginferno267
#i'm lazy#is this weird#kind of ooc?#aot#levi ackerman#levi#captain levi#levi heichou#snk#levi x reader#aot fanfiction#snk fanfiction#aot fandom#captain levi x reader#levi x y/n#levi x you#levi fluff#levi thoughts
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𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 8・𝓥.𝓐.𝓝
̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿ ̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿
Warnings: Use of guns, speak of threats, language, slight implied smut, but not really, blood mention, poorly written action I’m sorry
̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿ ̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿
You sat in the cool leather seat. There were a few folders set in front of you. Nick and Jolly sat across from you while Ruffilo and we’re standing near the wall. They draw the shades and dim the room. A projector goes off behind you as the word V.A.N appears.
“Y/N, as you know we’re in mafia organization. We are well-known, but we are also hidden. Violence against nature and those who don’t remain that way.” Noah started
“As a mafia, we have our own branches that deal with money, arms, silencing, and punishment. Each division is in a different section of the city. We’re at the center of the city so we are the main branch, nearly all branches come and answer to us but we have a single higher up.” The slideshow swaps to the picture of a rough looking man. He had a single scar going from the corner of his left eyebrow down to the bottom his lip. His mean mug didn’t make the picture any more pleasant
“This is Lucian, the founder and head of V.A.N. Directly under him is Noah which is why he deals with so many things and has so much power over certain areas. Now in the case of you being targeted….”
Noah walks beside you and opens the three folders with pictures of people two faces of which you recognize and one you had not seen before. First Denise. You had even thought of her since the event you attended to with Noah.
“Denise Thompson. She is the daughter of Lucian and Heiress of this entire mafia. Whoever marries her gains control of the entire organization.” Noah explains “ I know you remember her going off on you and how she was supposed to be with me, but I declined the marriage.”
“Why? You’ve gained so much you would’ve been in charge of everything…” you asked
“ That was an option for me yes, realistically, I didn’t want to be married to Denis. On top of that, your father was in debt to me so I took advantage of my options,” he said closing her profile “Denise was raised to be an absolute spoiled brat. She gets everything her way when she wants it no matter what needs to be done. Knowing that you two had such a great introduction, she was the first suspect.”
“Hm…”
This was the most silent you had ever been. Even Noah, who was speaking to you, was taken aback by how little you had spoken in the past ten minutes. That morning, you had been quite talkative with him, yet now you seemed lost in thought as you sipped your coffee.
“Next,” opening the next file you see a very familiar face as well “Jared Conti. another nepo baby to add to the chain. Although he was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth he also inherited his fathers greed taking what he wants from who he wants no matter what it may be”
You thought back to the party were you first met him and how he just couldn’t take a no for an answer
“So you’re saying he’s targeting me because I said no?” You raised a brow at Noah
“Not entirely. We only recently found out Denise’s father arranged for the two to marry, since there’s that connection he’s a natural suspect since you had a bit of a run in with him” Nick chimed in “but we also suspect because of his past with Noah that it may be a way to get to him through you”
You pause for a moment to process the information you've just received. Knowing the potential suspects brings some relief, yet you can't shake the feeling that this might be a trivial matter or, conversely, something far more significant. Your gaze drifts to the table, where one last unopened folder catches your eye.
"who's this one?" you said flipping it open to find written statements but no name, picture or anything
"that's the fun part," Noah said sarcastically "third party, and we have no idea who it can be......but we are suspecting some inner work being done."
"you mean-"
"Someone who's working in the system against us, yes" Jolly chimed in "we have tried fingerprinting, but it looks like they've been using gloves, no hair was left behind, no blood...."
"So in the meantime we may relocate to my other property for your protection" Noah says as he walks towards you and sits one of his legs on the table "do you have questions?"
You take a deep breath "how....on a scale how at risk is my life?" he could see it was starting to get to you a bit
"Y/N, you're safe as long as-"
"Noah.....just tell me...."
"....a 9." he said bluntly. He noticed how it was all registering in your head now. Looking at the guys he gives them a knowing look. They silently take their leave and just you and Noah were left in the room, he comes down to kneel in front of you and softly speak "listen....you're my wife, and that means nothing to going to touch a hair on your head. Understand?"
You nod your head "where are we going to go?" you asked him
"I have a home in upstate New York, it'll be just for the time until we get this matter settled...now come on, the guys brought breakfast," he said standing and offering his hand for you to take. You walk towards the door hand in hand already hearing the commotion coming from the kitchen. Followed by Velma Tell them they were going to ruin he nice silverware that way. You couldn't help but chuckle coming into the kitchen watching Folio drown his waffles in syrup
"Hey there they are, we got you, your favorite!" Jolly said holding up a tray with a breakfast sandwich you really liked from the place Noah buys from "we made sure it's the way you liked, if not Noah would have kicked my ass,"
"Oh really?" you smile taking the food seeing some pink appear on Noah's ears
"Mhm, he always checks your food to make sure it's perfect," Nick said taking a mouthful of waffles
"Well, that's nice to know" you giggle loving to hear how attentive he was about you even when you weren't around. You sit down and take a bite from your sandwich; the savory and warm food honestly made you forget the entire ordeal for just a moment. That was until a smell had caught your attention in the wrong way. Looking around you see Noah eating an omelet with some veggies in it and cheese. You never thought the smell of eggs would throw you off like that. Shaking your head lightly you go back to your sandwich and ignore the smell. After some time eating and joking and of course them teasing Noah with how smitten he was by you, they still had jobs to do.
As they were saying their goodbyes, you were helping Velma to clean up the kitchen. Nothing too crazy most of the containers were disposable. The front door closes and no walks back into the kitchen
“Y/N, come on I wanna show you something “
“Oh boy I wonder what it is,” you chuckle as you walk to him and he rests his hand on your lower back. He leads you down the hallway to the backyard, but instead of heading to the gardens as usual, you turn right into a large shed just off the path. You've often seen Noah and the guys enter here on late nights. He opens the door and leads you into what appears to be a private gun range. This must be their spot for practice or stress relief. It also clarifies why you sometimes hear gunshots. You thought you were imagining things, but you weren't!
“Sooo…. You’re showing me the second part of the tour of our property. Now I know those gunshots I heard were real and I wasn’t going insane.” You joke as you walk up and down the aisle where you would stand and shoot.
“Well, yes but,” grabs a gun off of the table and releases the magazine, leaving it empty, “this time, you’ll take a shot”
“Pun intended?” You smile as he dangles the gun in front of you. You take a hold of it and look it over. It was much heavier than you were expecting. Of course your mother would never allow your father or any of her kids to be around. It was a strict rule that she had so this was your first time actually holding one.
“How’s it feel?” he asked with his hands in his pocket as he stands just a bit closer to you.
“Mmm, heavy and foreign,”
“Well, like I said you’re gonna take some shots today. Because if I’m ever not around, I want you to be able to defend yourself even though I always want to be there to protect you,”
Which he always will be! But he needs to think if worse comes to worse he needs to weigh of you being protected enough until he gets to you.
“ of course I’ll always be there, but this is just a precaution, now come on,” he places his hands on your hips and lines you with one of the isles. He put some protective earmuffs on you and loads of the gun. He shows you how to hold it and how to align your shot.
“Alright good, I’m gonna let go and when you feel ready, you pull the trigger okay,” he said softly completely contrasting your action. You are feeling much more nervous than you would have thought. “Just breaths dns hoot baby,”
You pull the trigger and and you’re jolted back just a bit. You squint at the target and see that you had aimed a bit higher, and punctured a hole just above the shoulder. Noah says,
“ Better than I thought for your first time,” He then puts his hand over yours to show you how to put a new bullet into the chamber “ give another go,” he stands back and gives you some room this time. He felt a bit more confident with your stance in your hold of the gun. You do as he says take your time, you take a deep breath….. and pull the trigger once again.
This time you got a hit into the neck! You give a small bounce in victory, feeling Noah comes closer behind you as his hands trace up the sides of your body and his neck cranes down to your ear as his lips gazes your ear
"Good, you're getting it," he said in a low voice, his back slightly against yours and his hands come up to caress your arms and hold the gun with you "just a bit higher and you'll get it,"
His fingers rests over your own on the trigger as you both pull the trigger, finally hitting the target in the head dead center. You lower the gun feeling a sense of power and self confidence. You were by no means a marksmen, but you could defiantly grab one if needed. He kisses the bottom of your ear
"Did so good baby, better than I thought," he chuckles
"Oh and you can do better?" you smile as you turn your face to him, the gun forgotten on the small table in front if you as his hands come to your hips and wrap around your waist
"Oh I know I can," he whispers against your lips "Maybe I should just show you, hm?" his lips open to capture your lips with his. One of his hands coming to cup your jaw as he deepens the kiss. You head felt light as you melted into the sweet moment.
He pulls back and whispers "fuck.." he dives back in backing you up against the table and hoisting you on to the table. He pulls you closer to the edge so that he was slotted between your legs. He moves your head up so that his eyes were staring right back into yours. But before anything could escalate his phone ring and he groaned in frustration.
As he side, he let his head rest onto your shoulder. You giggle slightly at his frustration of being cock blocked by his own business. He reached for his phone in his pocket and pulled up the screen to his face to see who was calling. Nicholas’s name showed up on the screen and he said deeply
“Looks like it might be a lead. I have to take this. But we will revisit your aim, flower “ he helps you to get off of the table and walks back out with you from the small gun range. After locking up the area, he takes you back inside as the sky begins to darken. It look like it was going to be quite a storm he sat on the couch watch him throw on his trenchcoat, and slip a gun into the waistband of his pants
“Do you have to go?” Well leaning your head on your hand. He as he walks over and kisses your forehead.
“I unfortunately have to. It’s for your own good. I have to go so I can see what kind of lead they have going on.” Looking at his phone he saw that his ride was outside “ I’ll be in contact okay? you call me if anything happens. Anything.” he made sure to raise his eyebrows on the word anything emphasizing his seriousness when he said absolutely anything. You could hear a mouse squeak in the house and he would want to know about it.
“I know….be safe.” You as you snuggle into the couch, the fire still roaring proudly in the fireplace as your finger saves the spot in your book that you were currently on.
“No promises,” he smirks at you as he closes the door, locking it behind him. He put his hands into his pockets as he leans over to one of the guards at the door.
“ She does not leave the house and no one gets in, understood?” There was a major difference when Noah was speaking to you and speaking to men who worked for him and that’s how cold he was and how threatening he was. “ Any movement, noise, any person near here is reported to me immediately.”
“Yes sir.” he he goes down a few steps before he stops and looks over his shoulder and says “anyone that comes on the property, you. No hesitation.”
After getting into the car, Noah drives off to the next location. Honestly, he considered ignoring the call to stay home, but he realized that doing so would hinder his progress on the case and only extend the risk. He preferred to eliminate the risk entirely.
“Koda,” you call for your adorable companion. Even though you knew he was supposed to be your protection and a threat to others couldn’t help but think about how cute he was. His he comes into the room with his tail, wagging behind them, the sofa near your feet to jump onto “come on boy,”
He hops on up and makes himself at home at your feet. Keep having Koda around honestly helped with how much was going on. Of course, well-being a furry companion with the most adorable eyes in years. He also guarded you and alerted you of anything.
As your gaze flitted over the pages of your book, your vision began to blur. Your fingers relaxed, losing their grip on the page. The warmth of the fire, the rhythmic patter of rain against the windows, and Koda's endearing snores gradually lulled you into slumber. You yielded to the comfort of the couch for a peaceful nap.
As the hours passed, you took a restful nap while the fire slowly died out. Awakening to the mansion's chill, your feet remained warm, nestled under your furry companion. Stretching your limbs, you enjoyed a satisfying stretch. Sitting up, you began to gently pet Koda's head.
He let out a toothy yawn as he scratch a nice part on his head.
“Good spot huh boy?” You smile. Looking around you must’ve not turned on any of the life since it looked pretty dark aside from the log in the fireplace that still burned orange was dying out. Stand up on the lamp of the couch.
It clicked a couple of times, but no light came on….weird. Maybe this must’ve burned out. So you walk into the hallway and flip the switch up for the elegant to be illuminated.
Nothing.
“Did the storm knock the power out?” You ask out loud padding the side of your leg you call Koda “here boy, watch.”
You gave him a command in which he walks along side you to watch for any potential threats. He quickly comes to your side and keeps his body close to yours as he scans the area with you. Pull out your phone and try to call it wrong and wrong, but it went right to his voicemail. He decides to send him a message and let him build up. The power has gone out and try again in about two minutes.
Your heart was pounding, yet the reason was unclear. The silence was deafening. Every door was securely locked, with Noah's men stationed outside. Perhaps it was an overreaction, or maybe it was just nerves.
“Vilma?” for the elderly woman “Vilma are you here?” no answer. But she was here when you went to sleep, how could she just vanish? "Vilma please, answer me!"
The rain began to pour down even more intensely upon the house, accompanied by the growling thunder in the distance. Frustrated, you pull out your phone and attempt to call Noah once more. Pacing through the house, you search for any functioning light switches. The kitchen's switch is unresponsive, the stairwell's remains inactive, and your call drops. You groan and punch in his contact again.
*ring....ring...*
"Y/N?"
You let out a heavy sigh "Oh thank god! Noah, the powers out and Vilma isn't here, nothing is turning on and-"
"Y/N? Y/N? Are you there hello?"
"Noah! Noah hello?!" you were starting to panic a bit
"Y/N I'm going to call security..." he hangs up
"No! NO!" you were so frustrated and stressed you could cry. Of course things can only go from bad to worst in these situations...Koda was on edge. You could see him whip his body around his vision focused on something in the far end of the hall. His low growl was not a good sign. You turn on your flashlight and slowly bring it up the long carpeted hall. A pair of shoes....trousers....it was...Alfred?
"Oh god Alfred....you scared me," you said resting your hand on your chest "do you know if there's a breaker where we can get the power back up?"
He remained silent.
"Alfred?..." he starts to walk to you "Alfred this isn't funny....." Koda starts barking as he inched closer and closer, taking his time, face vacant of emotion.
You reach down for you phone once again to call for help "it will be useless to try and call him Y/N...."
"but the guards must-"
"be gone? A simple hack really...they've left their posts. Noah can't reach a signal from you. Just surrender, come with me and things won't have to get ugly."
You couldn't believe it....Alfred. You stop in your tracks, standing your ground and thinking of what to do next
"So it was you huh?...the letter? the threats?" you ask as he got closer and closer
"no, no of course not. I was simply the messenger delivering the letter and giving information.....I have my own pawns to play with"
He was just a few steps from you and just before he could take another step you give Koda his Release word
"ON!” Koda jumps into actions and locks down on to Alfred's leg as you hit him over the head with a vase, shattering the pottery. Buying you some time to run. “KODA OFF!” You yell his release word
Indeed, you wanted him to buy you some time, and he didn't want to involve him in the process. Even though he was trained for this, you cherished him like a pet. You head to the backyard and dash toward the shed, only to twist the knob and discover it's locked.
“Come on! Fuck! Why?!” You keep jiggling the lock as if it would magically open. The rain soaking your clothes and hair blocking your view. Your turn left to keep running through the garden as lightning strikes in the distance. You look back to see if he was still following you. The other way, nothing, the other still nothing.
Something finally covers your mouth as you try and fight him off, Alfred holds a clothe to your mouth and nose as you lose consciousness. Slowly slipping away. Gazing into the eyes of who you thought you could trust. The person Noah let into his home, his life, your marriage. God only knows if he did something to Vilma as well.
"that's it...that's it..." your finally tranquil on the ground feeling even your hearing starting to muffle "just wait until Lucien hears about this..." your vision fades into black.....your phone rings forgotten on the hallway floor.
Noah's name on your screen for the 5th time in a row, but no answer from you. Noah stares down at his screen feeling his heart drop down into his stomach.
"I'm leaving," he mumbles letting his chair spin as he gets up from the seat abruptly "Something isn't right,"
"Wait Noah! What about him?" Looking over into the chair where one of Jared's goons sat. His face bloody and bruised, his nose crooked and most likely broken. They were trying to get any information possible and of course resort to violence once the goon had referred to you as "Noah's whore"
"Water board him, sab him, hang him upside down I don't care I need to go and get Y/N," he grabs the keys to the car and run out into the rain. The guys looking back at the goon and then each other. Folio holds up a set of keys with a smile
"Wanna go into his secret drawer?" as he wiggled them
"Yes!" jolly exclaimed
"No." Nick folded his arms
"Niiccckkk" they both whined at the long haired man, wanting him to "be fun for once"
As for Noah, he was currently breaking any traffic laws as he cut through traffic. His phone ringing and ringing. The cameras weren't on, Vilma wasn't answering and none of his guards were either. The longer he waited for a response the harder his foot pressed down on the gas. He ran 7 red lights, crossed 6 lanes and cut off a couple of trucks on his ways over. He pulls into the driveway with no men to be seen
"what the...Y/N?" he runs up to the house and twists the knobs open. No forced entry, but you wouldn't just let someone in. He steps inside to see none of the lights working "Y/N?" he called again
As he walks down the hall he sees the broken vase and what looks to be...blood? Wait where was Koda?
"Koda! Koda?" he hears scratching and barking from the closet at the end of the hall in the closet. Opening it up the young dog comes out sniffing around Noah looking around frantically.
“Y/N?!” He called again as he walks he steps on something as it cracked under his foot, it was your phone. He bends down to pick it up and waves in front of Koda
“Koda, smell,” Koda comes over to his and takes a few sniffs of the phone “good. Now, track”
Koda sniffs the ground around Noah for some trace of a scent.
“Come on…come on….”
Koda whimpers as he sits. His signs of finding no trace of your scent.
“FUCK!” he walked towards the front door again. Pushing the doors open and stepping out into the rain. He looks up into the sky and starts to question the gods of his misfortune.
He clenched his fists and screams
“Y/N!!”
̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿ ̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿
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✾Sweet Like Morning-Glory ✾
💚Summary: There's a melody humming within your bones. A tune Baizhu strums with his needles and drugs. The ballade sings of a love more deadly than any toxin.
💚Author's note: Requested by my darling @fangirl-katwithclaws hope you enjoy it, Love!!~ 💜
💚Warnings: drugging, intoxicants, narcotics, reader is dazed.
You wake up wrong. Half dead and half alive with none of the glory.
You feel broken, cleaved as if someone dissembled you and then tried to re-assemble you in a hurry. Erroneously forging pieces that do not fit. There's a thumping in your head and in your right arm. A reminder of a memory long since forgotten.
There's a squeaking noise, the door sliding heavily against the wooden floorboards. It's too loud. Actually, now that you think about it, everything feels too loud. The birds, the crickets, the mysterious tune that haunts the Liyue streets. Everything feels like lost notes ambushing your lagging encephalon.
You turn your head to the source of the noise, watch as the door opens ever so agonizingly slow. There's green and gold and a flash of white that enters the room. Him. The only thing that stands out in a sea of blurry colors too vivid to process. Him. The one who's always at the forefront of your brain no matter how sluggish you feel.
Baizhu sits on the edge of your shared bed, his easy smile ever present on his pale face. He leaves the tray of food on your lap and raises both hands to cup your cheeks, pressing a soft kiss on your cracked lips.
There's something wrong with the way Baizhu tastes. His kisses are bitter. All molten violetgrass and qingxin flowers. It's like the toxins from his soul are seeping into you, it takes unprecedented self-control you didn't know you possessed to remain still within his grasp. He mutters something against your lips, something lighthearted and sweet. Like the first fresh breeze of spring. Only it's fall now or is it winter? Everything is getting so hard to recall.
To all of Liyue, you are known as Baizhu's sick bride. The one with limbs stiffer than her stepdaughter's and a foggy memory to boot. In actuality, you do not know how you gained such a title. Your memories tend to be nothing more than faint echos and ebony slates of confusion. You can't even properly recall how you met Baizhu, let alone how you married him. All you remember is a phrase, the first I love you Baizhu said. Albit with diffrent words and a much diffrent phrasing.
"My what lovely veins you have."
If thoughts would be permitted to linger in your mind for longer than mere seconds, then maybe, just maybe that phrase would have seemed off to you. Something all so wrong about finding beauty under one's skin. But your thoughts are never consistent enough to draw such intricate conclusions. Instead, you nuzzle into Baizhu's touch, trying to ground yourself. Baizhu plucks something small of the breakfast tray and pops it into his mouth. He waits a heartbeat before kissing you again. Slipping something round into your mouth.
You can almost feel your pulse fade.
It's warm in Bubu pharmacy, too warm. You feel like your skin is melting off your bones. "it's too warm" you mumble, eyes unfocused staring at the front entrance of the pharmacy. Your mind is spinning, out of control like a crashing bird.
You lean back against your husband, resting your head on his shoulder.
Baizhu's hand finds its way to your head, entwining his fingers into your hair. You permit a heavy whine to escape your throat, a dry muffled noise that briefly catches the attention of some of the patrons. "Baizhu, please" you mutter, desperate to leave the lively room.
Sometimes you vaguely recall a time when the presence of others hadn't been so suffocating. When you'd laughed with the people of the harbor and basked in their sweet company. Only when you had met Baizhu had socializing become so taxing. An exhausting affair your sweet lover helped you avoid. At times, in rare bouts of clarity, it almost felt as if Baizhu had planned this. As if he held the blame for your metamorphosis into a hermit.
And if you were ever conscious enough to care it may have been a problem...
Qiqi runs in, leaving her basket of fresh herbs on a chair. She runs over to you, lifting her arms. You wrap your arms around her waist and try to pull her up. She's getting heavier you note, albeit you're sure you are, in fact, the one getting weaker.
"Qiqi, darling. Maybe it's best you take Mommy to her room. I'll join you shortly once Gui arrives."
Qiqi nods and reaches to hold your hand. Walking idly by you, hand in hand, as you escape the suffocating room.
You wonder if Qiqi appreciates your lethargy. Lolls in knowing there is another like her. Someone stiff and sick and with a mind too slow to process nothing more than idle commands.
There's mold festering inside her. A rigor mortis she can not beat. Her body betrays her at every step. Yet ultimately she is the true traitor, the one who didn't honor her body's dying wish. You wonder if Qiqi even fully comprehends what being a zombie entails. You wonder if you wholly understand it yourself.
Maybe you had died a long time ago too, maybe Baizhu had found a way to resurrect you. That would account for the constant stiffness and memory lapses. It made more sense than this malady he kept going on about. A haunting hollowness dances across the darker corners of your heart. It twirls and pirouettes to the tune of anticipation. Maybe this darkness has always been a wrathful death. Cheated from claiming you for the grave.
Your room is quiet, a contrast to the morning. The shadows slither across the walls as you wait patiently for Baizhu. You'd sent Qiqi off to her room. Hoping she'd busy herself with doctor dolls she so fancied. Your eyes trained on the door. Mind empty except for rouge thoughts of him. The way his warm hands feel so good against your burning skin. How gentle he is with you as if you'd been made from glass. You love him. You're sure you do.
Baizhu slips in quietly. Closing the door and shutting out the world.
He sits next to you on the bed. Hands ghosting over your body.
It feels like your skin doesn't fit correctly over your bones.
"You're so beautiful like this". There's a needle between his fingers, held with all the percussion in the world. Beads of vivid green drip from the tip, a sacrifice to perfection.
If Baizhu could he'd pluck the flesh off your limps just to catch a glimpse of your porcalin white bones. he'd open their shells and kiss the marrow resting within. You remember him detailing that in a loose breath once. How gorgeous you'd be unskinned. How he'd love to kiss every part of you hidden behind your delicate skin. It's something from the past, or something from the future, too hard to fully remember. He does tend to fanaticize out loud all too often.
Baizhu pulls you closer, taking kisses from your shoulder to the depression of your elbow. There he sucks, prepping the vein. Another dose gentily spills into you and he kisses your lips passionately.
Your eyes remain open. Taking him in, in his entirety.
You blame the archons, the green they used for his hair is much too vibrant. The acid-like tone has surely bled into his soul. Filling it with venoms. Venoms he can't help, in turn, leaking into his lover.
You're mind grows dimmer as Baizhue's kisses grow hotter. His voice a fading star as he breathes out your name.
"My sweet, sweet darling, out like a wilted rose I see."
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&. 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐜𝐞 (𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
( dialogue prompts taken from episodes 1 & 2 ( "romance dawn" & "the man in the straw hat" ) of the netflix live action one piece series. feel free to edit and change as you seem fit. )
❛ do you have any last words? ❜
❛ the sea's been calling. well, not exactly calling, because i pretty much can't swim, but you get the idea. ❜
❛ so what do you say? are you with me? ❜
❛ liar! i know zoro must be after me. who else is worthy of his pursuit? ❜
❛ who's the most powerful pirate on the seas? ❜
❛ first things first. do you have any food here? ❜
❛ you don't look like a pirate. ❜
❛ i'm not afraid of getting hurt. and i'll prove it to you. ❜
❛ i don't get it. why would anyone want to be a pirate? ❜
❛ you have the wind on your back, the salty sea air, your loyal crew by your side. you never know what's on the horizon. it's all about being... free. ❜
❛ you should never let anyone tell you what you can't do. ❜
❛ well, remember the name, 'cause i'm gonna be king of the pirates. ❜
❛ people often visit shrines to light candles for those they've lost. who are yours for? ❜
❛ you've been following me for three days. what do you want? ❜
❛ look, i've been practicing what my face is gonna look like on my wanted poster.❜
❛ i've no doubt your mug will be on a wanted poster one day. ❜
❛ all he did was spill a drink on me. ❜
❛ you should've fought back! why didn't you kick his ass? ❜
❛ not everything can be solved with violence. a man needs to be strong, but he also needs to be good. ❜
❛ you're not a real man. you're nothing but a coward. ❜
❛ you ate a devil fruit? ❜
❛ ever since i was a kid, i wanted to protect people that can't protect themselves.❜
❛ if that's what you want, i think you should do it. i'll help you out. ❜
❛ my crew was attacked by pirates. i barely managed to make it out alive. ❜
❛ rice balls. for you. ❜
❛ you shouldn't draw your blade unless you're prepared to use it. ❜
❛ don't kill me, please. my father will give you anything you want. ❜
❛ i'd say you live up to your reputation. ❜
❛ what's up with the third sword? i mean, where does it even go? ❜
❛ what do you say, puppy? do you want to do a trick for me? sit up and beg. ❜
❛ i kill your kind for a living. ❜
❛ i mean it. i don't owe you anything. ❜
❛ you are going to get us both caught if you keep stomping around this place. ❜
❛ that was amazing. admit it. we do make a pretty good team. ❜
❛ so why did you decide to become a thief? ❜
❛ i needed to eat. you do what you have to, to survive. ❜
❛ you're right. nothing is more important than food. ❜
❛ all great fighters call out their finishing moves. ❜
❛ i don't work for you. ❜
❛ i'm sensing a little bit of tension amongst the crew. ❜
❛ before we met, every choice was made for me. but now i'm gonna do what i want to do. ❜
❛ next time we meet, we might be enemies. but for now... we're friends. ❜
❛ i'm feeling so... so piratey. ❜
❛ well, you're gonna end up feeling watery if i have to throw you overboard. i told you i need absolute silence. ❜
❛ don't mess with my hat. ❜
❛ oh, i'm sorry. were we interrupting your beauty sleep? ❜
❛ don't like what you see? look away. ❜
❛ you have a lot of names. i bet everyone in the east blue knows who you are. ❜
❛ are you making fun of my nose? ❜
❛ i know your type. if there's nothing to gain, you're out. ❜
❛ truthfully? i'm kind of hungry. ❜
❛ who are you trying to impress? a lost love? an absent parent? or was it someone that you worshipped? ❜
❛ i used to know a pirate that wore a hat just like this. ❜
❛ for a time, i even thought we were friends. until he betrayed me. just like all the others. ❜
❛ he wanted to keep me out of the spotlight! he wanted to keep my star from shining too brightly! ❜
❛ is that what he did to you? did he betray you, too? ❜
❛ you can slice me and you can dice me, but i'll always put myself back together again. ❜
❛ i've been thinking about you for years. ❜
❛ i know you're upset, but you should eat something. ❜
❛ you're never not hungry. what's going on? ❜
❛ you can spill a drink on me and i'll let it slide, but don't you ever threaten my friends. ❜
❛ you can't make people love you. just like you can't make them smile. ❜
❛ you really think anyone is coming for you? they don't care. and no one is gonna miss you when you're dead. ❜
❛ get lost. ❜
❛ i'm just glad that you're okay. ❜
❛ what was that? i couldn't hear you over all the drowning. ❜
❛ you really don't fear death, do you? ❜
❛ what's the plan? you do have a plan, right? that's your thing, plans. ❜
❛ you want out? you know the price you have to pay. ❜
❛ you want a piece of me? let's see what you got. ❜
❛ i think i'll miss you most of all. ❜
❛ we're gonna be the greatest pirates the world has ever seen. even greater than your crew. ❜
❛ this hat is the most precious thing i own. it means the world to me. and i want you to take it. ❜
❛ when we meet again, you can give it back to me. ❜
❛ is every day gonna be this crazy with you? ❜
❛ if the path to what you want seems too easy, then you're on the wrong path. ❜
#one piece#opla#sentence starters#roleplay memes#roleplay starters#rp memes#inbox memes#rp starters#dialogue prompts#ask memes#tv
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TOP GUN FIC RECS 7!
top gun fics that i’ve been reading and obsessing with over recently
this is extremely important and i take this very seriously out of respect for the community. please do remember to read the rules for the respective blogs before interacting with or reading them.
F: fluff A: angst S: smut
𖥻 - series /multi part
masterlist
JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN
F: it's all about you by @bussyslayer333
the four times jake knew that his girl was the one he was going to marry, and the one time he made her his wife.
F: next thing you know by @disturbedbeautywrites
you and jake met at the hard deck. in the blink of an eye, you're happily married with children you adore.
F: one man's loss is another man's gain by @sebastianstangirl01
jake would never thank rooster for anything other than leading his wife to him.
F: dad's shirt by @stargazing15
you and your daughter get jake a shirt for father's day, though she's more excited to wear it than him.
F + A: oh deer by @wkndwlff
jake loved you, that he was sure of. out of fear of ruining your friendship, he kept that a secret. when you're in a car accident and jake almost losing you, he had to let you know.
F: i think there's been a glitch by @folkloreslovechild
jake can't help who he is when he's around you.
F + A: 5 times hangman got older + 1 time he got wiser, too by @folkloreslovechild
jake had always loved you, he just never realised it.
F: jake and his sweet wife by @fireinmoonshot
F + A: always a bridesmaid by @sugarcoated-lame
when the dagger squad arrived at rooster's wedding, he had given them a stern warning to stay away from his baby sister. of course, jake is never one to listen to what bradley bradshaw has to say.
F: and i know when i need it i can count on you by @carnationworld-writings
jake will do anything to help alleviate some of his pregnant wife's pain
F + A: you again by @ereardon
you and jake were once in love, till he decided that you needed to break up. years have passed and you've both achieved your aspirations. will this then make room for both of you to rekindle that lost flame?
F: apple pie and you and i by @honeyhenry
jake realises how fortunate he is when he's surrounded by the people he loves most, his family.
F: reunions by @gigisimsonmars
you and jake haven't been together long and a pregnancy scare creates uncertainty about your relationship.
F + A: beach day by @harvestleaves
jake's main concern will always be his girl, even if it meant skipping out on showing rooster up at dogfight football.
S + A: stay by @sere-sins
jake never spent the night, but you needed him. so he'll stay, even if it's just for today.
A: pink light by @sushiwriterhere
jake seresin, in all his blonde haired glory, had you wrapped around his finger. you loved him like the earth loved the moon. he didn't.
A: past the texas line by @allbark-no-bite
jake will do anything for you, there is no line he wouldn't cross.
F: let me walk you home by @fireinmoonshot
jake thought that tonight was finally the night that he would make a move on you. much to his dismay, you were preoccupied the whole night. he settles on walking you home.
F + A: the worst best man by @youvebeenlivingfictional
jake seresin was already an insufferable man. pit him as best man while you've the maid of honour for a wedding, you were sure to be on the verge of pulling your hair out.
F + A: hung the galaxy by @creativeashproductions
the last time you stepped foot in the city of angels, you had become a runaway bride. this time, you’re happily together with a fiancé you love dearly.
F + A: would that i by @uselsshuman
jake, the ever loving partner, will always be there to clean up your accidents, no matter how big or small.
F + A: the olive theory by @eternalsams
on every person’s 24th birthday, they will receive an envelope detailing who their soulmate is. you’re disheartened when the contents of the letter doesn’t describe jake.
BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW
F + A: i don’t know, blame the air force? by @gretagerwigsmuse
you are hopeful in getting your end of year bonus, only to find out a big chunk of it was going to the defence budget. it didn't help that you were dating a military man.
F + A: days like this by @sometimesanalice
when you've had a terrible day, bradley is there to cheer you up
F: a little bit of courage by @callsignmeiga
you and bradley have reached the point in your relationship where he's ready for you to meet his found family.
F: all of the girls you loved before by @wannabeschyulersister
all of the girls rooster's loved before made him the one you've fallen for.
F + A: do you want me? by @ash5monster01
rooster assures you that he wants you as much as you want him.
F: sweet encounters + sweet tooth by @junkdrawerfics
rooster's first time meeting you was with payback drunkenly stumbling into your bakery, screaming for your croissants.
F + A: bad idea by @sometimesanalice
rooster sees the girl that had dumped him at the hard deck, flirting with someone who definitely did not deserve her.
F + A: just roommates by @risriswrites
you and rooster were just roommates, till you weren't.
F + A: rescue me by @beccaanne814
bradley is left haunted by the events of the uranium mission and seeks comfort in the one person who can give it to him.
F + A: ruffling feathers by @helloheyhihowdyheya
yours and rooster's feud didn't just exist in the air.
F + S: baby come close by @bradshawsweetheart
you trust bradley with all your heart, deciding that you are ready to take your relationship to another level.
F + A: pick your battles 𖥻 by @intoanotherworld23
your relationship with bradley ended on a bad note, cruel words were spat and feelings were hurt. you're both called back to topgun for a suicide mission and tensions arise.
F: baby on my left, wife on my right by @popcornlover
wanting to be carried from the car into the house, you and your daughter pretend to be asleep
F: stuck on you by @teowritesthings
bradley gives you the sweetest morning surprise.
BOB 'ROBERT' FLOYD
F + A: my girl by @rlphunter
phoenix sets you up on a date, not knowing that you are secretly dating her backseater.
F: fix it by @lovingperfectionsblog
bob was not good with women. he also should have known better than to seek advice from womaniser, jake seresin.
F: you gift bob flowers by @peachystenbrough
F: wicked game by @icegirl03
you and bob slow dance in the living room
F: baby, i'm yours by @superhornetbaby
bob dials up the endearment when he's drunk
MICKEY 'FANBOY' GARCIA
F: 512 by @bonitanightmxres
you've always thought that the guy living in apartment 512 was cute. you finally gather the courage to ask him out.
#jake hangman seresin#hangman x reader#hangman#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#top gun headcanons#top gun x reader#top gun imagine#hangman seresin#rooster x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x female reader#rooster angst#bob floyd x reader#bob x reader#bob floyd#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd#fanboy x reader#mickey fanboy garcia#mickey garcia#mickey garcia x reader#top gun fic#top gun fic recs#hangman fic#jake seresin fluff#top gun fic rec#claire’s fic recs
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The Key To Your Heart - Track 4
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader
Gif by:@sh214
Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.
*! New warnings will be listed first !*
Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).
Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!
Word Count: ~2.3K
Series List: Here!
Miss last chapter? Here!
Hi there! To those of you who have read and are still with me, THANK YOU! I love you all. I'm sorry that my chapters are taking longer and longer. Work has been a bit more hectic lately and I also just had some serious writer's block with this chapter. That being said, it feels a little rough and I apologize if its awful lol. But either way, thanks for hanging in there with me and please let me know what you think! Your comments make me happy!
__________
You groaned, stepping out of bed and drifting towards the bathroom. Your face was sticky and your eyes stung from crying late into the night. It was silly, naive, and frankly stupid… but sometimes you can't control how hard emotions hit. Seeing that Pedro didn't actually watch your video was a let down - to put it mildly. Obviously he's a popular guy. A star. He has better things to do.
You should be grateful he even responded to your Instagram message before. Even though it hurts, surely he has more interesting things to do than message someone like you. Just because you wrote a song and he said he liked it doesn't mean he owes you anything more.
So after a fitful night's sleep, you were utterly exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Luckily, it was still your weekend and you could rest today.
More like spend the day wallowing in your self pity… you think, disdainfully at yourself.
Looking in the mirror, you notice your puffy eyes. There's some new acne, and a mop of frizzy hair on your head. After using the toilet, you step on your bathroom scale before your shower; a morning routine you started during years of dieting. Another 3 pounds. Up again?!
You look in the mirror, pinching your stomach with a sigh. I guess I shouldn't have had those cookies yesterday…
The food guilt creeps up as you think of the goodies you've eaten recently. Cookies yesterday, fast food the day before. You were bitter that you weren't one of those people that could just magically eat whatever they wanted without gaining an ounce.
But you aren't, and you should know better.
Frustrated with your appearance, you begin your usual internal debate about how to fix it.
Maybe I should go back on the diet…
But the diet caused you so many problems. Remember the stomach issues? The hunger? The lack of joy? Binge eating on cheat days until you were sick?
But! I lost so much weight!
Yeah, until you started gaining weight…
Maybe I didn't cut enough. People said I looked so good. I was *almost* skinny.
Maybe people would like me more if I was skinny… Maybe Pedro would like me if I were skinny. There's no way he would be with me looking like this.
These were the debates that plagued you for months… years… a lifetime.
You showered, tears beginning to flow again as you tried to push out the thoughts. He was probably just busy, but either way you knew you didn't have a chance.
Your friends were right. You were an obsessed fan. It was… concerning, as they said. They pitied you when you felt sad about your feelings. Just find someone you actually have a chance with, they pushed. Someone real.
But... he did message you. Maybe he didn't even know you had an interview yesterday? Maybe he watched it later. You were being utterly ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway.
But what you didn't know was that Pedro felt just as disappointed. He wanted to be the one on your list. The one you loved. He went to bed just as mopey as you did and woke up just the same.
_____
Having washed away your bad feelings as best as you could, you gave Skipper a kiss on his little forehead and made some coffee while scrolling Instagram. You were nervous to see what people had to say about your interview, but you had to face the music eventually.
As you could have predicted, people were running through the potential suspects (or prospects, that is) who have brown curly hair and brown eyes. Some supported you and loved your interview. Others criticized you for being too chicken to show yourself.
You weren't used to this level of attention, and you really weren't sure you enjoyed it. But you were grateful to have your two lives kept separate, your true persona still shaded in privacy.
What you did not predict, was a notification popping up from Pedro, interrupting your scrolling. Forgetting to breathe, you immediately clicked on it. If the message were food from the oven, you would've burnt your hand the way you grabbed it so fast.
Perhaps I should've been a little more chill about opening this so quickly... Oh well.
Pedro Pascal messaged you: "Hey! I watched your interview yesterday. You did fantastic. I know fame is new to you and you're nervous, but you're a natural."
Your heart swelled. He did watch it!! He must have just been busy during the live stream.
You replied: "Pedro! You watched it!?! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me."
Pedro read your message immediately, but instead of sharing in your level of excitement, he was hit with a wave of confusion instead. She must just be trying to not hurt my feelings. She already knows I watched it.. unless she didn't even notice my name. Or she didn't care enough to look for it…?
He decided to play along with it anyway. "Absolutely, I did. I've had it marked on my calendar since the day it was announced a couple days ago and watched it as it was streamed live."
His response took you by surprise, and then made you angry. If he really watched it, he would know that they gave you a list of the people who watched it live. Why was he lying to you about it?
You started to plan out your response, maybe even send an accusatory comeback, but then you thought about it again.
Why would he lie about it? What would he gain by lying? He messaged you.
With this in mind, you instead chose to take a different approach. One better designed for fishing. One you had to be very careful about, so as not to reveal the fact that you looked for his name.
"Wait!? You watched it live? I didn't see you on the list. You're one of the few people I've spoken to who actually seem genuinely friendly and interested in having a conversation with me. I had sort of hoped you were listening."
There. That doesn't sound too revealing, right? Totally friendly…
Pedro opened your message and was met with both confusion, and something else he wasn't expecting. Hope. Did you look for his name??
Still, he wanted to address the confusion. "You didn't see me on the list? That's odd.. but I'm sure there were a lot of names to scan through. Maybe my name was just buried in that list."
You knew it wasn't buried. He was the only name you looked for. The only name you cared about seeing on that list, not that you'd admit that to him right now. But you also didn't want him to feel that insignificant either.
"There were a lot of names, I'll give you that. But I swear you weren't there. Were you logged into your account? Maybe your Internet crashed, or you missed part of it?"
Instantly he remembered the ten or so minutes that Oscar interrupted him.
Oscar!
"Oh shit! That's it. Oscar barged into my house while I was watching it and I slammed my laptop closed."
"Oscar… Isaac? Wait, why did you slam your laptop closed?"
"Yeah, that's the one. And… I don't know. He just surprised me, I guess. It wasn't a planned visit."
Slamming your laptop closed is an odd reaction to your friend visiting, but okay, you thought.
"So you closed your laptop, and missed a few minutes. And that must have been the moment they pulled the list of viewers."
Pedro replied. "It must have. But I was there, more than happy to listen to what you had to say"
If my name had been on the list, would her answer have been different? When asked whether the man she loved was on the list and she said no, would my name have changed anything? Pedro wanted to ask you these questions. But he couldn't. Not only was he scared, but he also didn't want it to come off as some douchey comment that made you uncomfortable. He wanted to get to know you better, even if just as a friend, and he wouldn't let a silly little crush ruin that.
You sent a response that could be deemed as friendly or neutral, still cautious. "Thank you Pedro. I'm really glad you watched it."
He replied without hesitancy. "Of course. But, I am sorry that your guy wasn't on that list."
He sounds genuine. Not like he's fishing for information like everyone else on the internet. In turn, you decide to be playful with your response. Risky, but still not too revealing. "It's okay. It turns out that list wasn't as accurate as I once thought it was" you typed with a smirk.
"So maybe he was watching after all," Pedro answered.
"Maybe he was."
Pedro soon changed the subject, "I did enjoy hearing about your favorite things, though. You may know this already, but I love movies. Some of the ones you mentioned are a couple of my favorites as well. But as for your favorite books, I haven't read them, but I've been meaning to find a new book to read."
The fact that he was a reader made your heart flutter; the thought of him sitting with a book, his glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he stroked his thumb over his lip in deep concentration. You were overjoyed at the thought of him reading *your* favorite book and potentially having someone to talk to about it. Before you knew it, you had frantically sent multiple excited messages.
You: "Oh! If you read any of my favorite books we HAVE to talk about them!"
Second message: "AGH the first book I mentioned is my favorite, out of all of them. The ending blew my mind. And the characters were just so amazing! Well except for that one guy.. but I won't spoil that…"
Third message: "But my favorite character has the greatest lines!!! Sometimes I like to quote it but nobody else gets it. And the way the author describes the settings is so magical, it makes you want to be there."
Pedro caught himself smiling at his phone, wrapped up in your excitement, as you were finally able to talk to someone about your favorite book. It was adorable how happy you seemed.
He started to type a reply when you sent another message. "Shoot… I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away…"
"Who told you that?"
Huh?
"Who told me what?" You asked.
"Who made you feel like you had to stop talking when you became excited about your interests?"
His question took you aback, but your mind struggled to pinpoint the answer to it. There's been so many people that have told you that over the years. People you assumed were friends. An old crush who didn't like multiple text messages at once. Classmates who would complain or make fun. It was routine.
"Oh. It's not a big deal. It's just something I've heard over the years. But I also know how I get and I don't want to be too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to monopolize the conversation too much either. But hey, you didn't mention, what are your favorite books?" You tried to change the topic.
Pedro felt that protective feeling bubble up in his chest again.
"Over the years!? There have been multiple occasions?" Pedro shook his head, even though you couldn't see through the text. "I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel that way or said anything to imply that your interests weren't worthy of being heard. Fuck them. They should be thankful that you shared your interests."
They should be grateful to hear your beautiful voice get so excited. To get to see your excitement and smile, Pedro thought to himself angrily. He hoped he could someday witness you getting excited over your interests in person too.
"Thank you Pedro. But really, it's okay. I know I get a little… obsessive and crazy, especially with sending multiple texts, so I don't blame them. Haha. :)" you tried to soften the mood.
"I don't want you to ever feel that way with me. I liked hearing you talk about your interests."
You began to type, but Pedro beat you to the punch.
"In fact… if you'd like to talk more," he gave you his phone number. "Feel free to text me, or you can call me too. I like talking on the phone, but I know not everyone does."
Holy shit. Is this real life? Did Pedro Pascal just give me his phone number? And ask me to call him?
Truthfully, your introverted self really didn't like talking on the phone. But the idea of talking to Pedro, hearing his voice on the other end of your phone was too much to handle.
What you didn't realize, was that Pedro wanted it just as bad.
Your fingers danced over your phone keyboard, trying to find the right words for a reply. What do you say when the love of your life (that you didn't think you would ever have a chance with) gives you his phone number?
Pedro watched anxiously as the three dot-dot-dots of typing appeared and disappeared over and over. His heart was racing, and he began to worry he may have overstepped this time.
Why did you give her your number? She's going to think you like her!!!
But you do like her, you idiot, Pedro berated himself.
He ran his hand down his face, waiting for your response in agonizing suspense. But instead of hearing the pop of a notification, his phone began to ring instead, an unknown number displayed on the home screen.
Wait… is that her? Is she CALLING me?!
He answered frantically, practically dropping his phone in the process.
"Hello?"
"Hello? Pedro? It's me.."
You heard him give a breathless laugh before answering with a gentle "Hi."
_____
Thank you for reading!! Let me know your thoughts :) More will be coming soon. I know this is a painfully slow burn lol. Thanks for being patient.
Next chapter! Here
_____
Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)
@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal x you#a! wrote a fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal rpf#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x reader#rpf#pedro pascal x musician!reader#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x plus sized! reader#pedro pascal x afab!reader#key to your heart
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Love you twice - LE SSERAFIM - YUNJIN x M! Reader (+18)
tw: cheating coz we're trash but maybe it's reasonable? I'm kidding! Don't cheat ya bastards! I actually had this in the back of my mind the moment I heard her song but just got lazy writing
'They're definitely the perfect couple.' Yunjin thought as she joined the two occupants of the car before it drove off.
"Good morning Yunjin." You greet giving a good eye smile at the rear view mirror to see the girl who just entered.
"Good morning sir." The girl did her best to act as normal as she could.
"Love, where are we having lunch later?" The girl beside you asked.
"Uh... I'm not sure if I'll be available later. Yunjin, what's my day?" You answered.
"You will be occupied till from 10:00 to 18:00 or longer depending on the outcome of the presentation." Yunjin answered.
"See love." You announced as the girl beside you pouts.
"I'll make it up to you." You reassured before pulling her head to plant a kiss on.
"Just drop me off for my pilates." The woman says as you hummed.
Meanwhile at the back Yunjin sits quietly trying her best to distract herself from the sight in front of her. As you and your girlfriend interlaced each other's arm as she then rests her head on your shoulder doing her best not to cause any distraction as you continue to focus on the road.
'Of course, pilates.' Yunjin mumbles as she fixes her sight at the tablet ticking every detail for your next meeting.
"Yunjin, have you had your coffee yet?" You asked as she finally realizes you're pulling up to a drive thru.
"N-not yet." Yunjin answered in a hurry.
"Alright, that'll be..." You continued to chat with the server on the other end of the intercom as Yunjin just stared at you through the rear view mirror.
To her disappointment she suddenly remembers the third participant in the car who's clinging onto you like a Koala on its tree.
"You okay back there?" Yunjin must've been so lost in her head that she failed to realize your hand handing out the coffee.
"O-oh, sorry sir."
"Is that a new top?" You asked, surprising the lady who had just taken a sip of her coffee.
"Y-yes. H-how did you?" Yunjin was awestruck at your keen observation.
"I mean, we pretty much see each other every day..." You replied and she chuckled at the thought.
"Right."
"Looks good on you though." You followed bringing a burning sensation on Yunjin's cheeks.
"Thanks–"
"I wonder if I'd look good with it as well." The other girl asks.
"Of course it will." You answered and the girl brightly smiled and turned to Yunjin at the back seat.
"Will it?"
"Yes, ma'am." Yunjin answered in full enthusiasm.
"Hmmm." The lady hummed.
Yunjin stares at the girl as a smile forms across her face gaining such joy from the complements. Yunjin in her thoughts; 'Of course you'll look good in anything... You're KIM FUCKING CHAEWON.'
"I'm off love!" She announced before placing a deep smooch on your cheek making sure to leave a red mark of ownership.
"Love you." She followed
"Love you too!" You whispered as she mouthed her reply; "love you more."
As the girl strides carefully to her own schedule you look back at your assistant who's currently at the back of the car. She looks up at you with an anxious face.
"Wanna move seats?" You asked and she realizes that It's more convenient if she's right beside you.
Swiftly, Yunjin took the seat next to you before you drove off to your office. As the trip continues Yunjin can't help but steal glance at you.
Then it just hits her, you've been working alongside each other for almost 2 years now. Yunjin doubts you'd think about it but it's actually a significant thing for her.
"Tough day ahead of me huh?" You commented as your eyes focused on the road.
"Yeah, quite a schedule." She replied even chuckling slightly with no sense of tension unlike earlier.
With no less than half an hour you two finally reached your office and quickly went straight to your first meeting. Yunjin handing out copies of your proposal to your potential future investors.
You can't lie having Yunjin with you really makes everything easier. These presentations wouldn't be as smooth as they are if she wasn't presenting ideas to make a better appeal to your targets.
"Wow. That really went well."
"It really did sir. You did so well!" Yunjin cheered as you sat down and stared at the contract.
"Damn." You whisper and your assistant immediately knows why as she hides a chuckle.
"I'll be here sir." She encouraged, as you two just smiled at each other before turning your attention to the mountain of paperwork in front of you.
Seconds, Minutes, and Hours passed and yet more and more paperwork piled up on your desk. You stood up and looked at it with such confusion asking what was all the work you did earlier seeing the height of the stack didn't even flinched.
An exhausted sigh escapes your lips as you look towards Yunjin who didn't even bat an eye on you and is too focused on her pile.
Being a little jealous of her work ethic you decide to suck it up and continue working on your pile, then time flows like it was nothing. The next thing you know, it's already way past working hours. You stretch your arms and look towards your assistant who's motionless on her seat.
You approach the lady and realize that she has fallen asleep in such an upright position that it seems like she's just sitting. You chuckled before deciding to call it a night. You took the papers from both of your desks and brought them to your car before going back to get Yunjin who's still asleep.
Carrying her to your car wasn't really a challenge which surprised you since you know how hard managing time is specially with her line of work and the fact the she can find the time to stay fit was something you're unable to fathom.
"Mhmm." Yunjin softly whines as she then stretches her arms out before coming to her senses on where she's currently at.
"W-whe-..." Yunjin peeks towards you and sees your smile. She blushes profusely before turning away from you.
"Happy 2nd year anniversary of being my hardest working employee." You suddenly announce and Yunjin's mouth drops as she finally notices the small box in front of her.
"W-wha?"
"I know, I'm sorry I couldn't bring it up earlier. I was too in the zone with the presentation." You joked as she gives you a bright smile.
"You really didn't have to." She whispered.
You shrug in response, as she starts to fiddle with the box. Admiring the quality of materials just for the packaging, her finger finally finds the opening and as soon as she opens it. She was greeted with sparkles.
"O-oh my..." Tears suddenly fell from the corner of her eyes as she takes the gift out of its containment.
"Sir~." She whines looking at you with such a happy expression despite the tears falling off her face.
"I'm taking you home. Go and get some rest, you can take the week off as well" You offered and Yunjin's eyes widens.
"W-wai..."
"That's too mu-." Yunjin's comment stops as she was in awe at your face, illuminated by the city lights.
"Oh don't give me that crap! You've been working your ass off covering my tardiness as your superior. I think this is the least I can give back. Honestly, you can ask for anything I'd gladly give it to you."
"No!" Yunjin suddenly bursts leaving you in shock.
"I can see the pile of papers at the back. I wanna help you with it!"
"But-..." Just as when you're about to protest you see Yunjin's deadly gaze.
"Fine."
"Lucky us, Chaewon won't be home tonight. We can work at my place." You propose and Yunjin smiled.
Now this isn't the first time you two would be at your place for work, though this will be the first time you two will be together on with a momentous occasion. Unlike the first year of Yunjin where she had an office party then.
"Care for a drink?" You asked as soon as you two entered the house.
"Can we get some alcohol? I feel like easing up a bit." Yunjin asks and you agree before placing down the box of papers in your office.
"How about some wine? And I'll order some fried chicken from that place me and Chaewon used to order at this time."
'Of course Chaewon again'.
"Yeah, sounds good." Yunjin agrees.
Moments passed as the two of you just started working on the piles of papers when the doorbell rings and you quickly bolted off of your seat to grab it.
"Hmmm that smells so nice!" Yunjin immediately left her station to join you in the living room.
The two of you finally decided to pause working and hang out. Chicken and wine in front of you and the two of you just sat next to each other.
"2 years huh?" You suddenly comment in the middle of your peaceful feast.
"Y-yeah." She replies.
"I didn't think you'd endure it that far."
"W-why not?"
"I mean, your line of job isn't for everyone... Trust me I've seen you pass out almost all of the time." She chuckles but she then realized that it's all true.
"M-maybe it's just the management is too good to be true." She jokes but meant all of it.
"And the pay is hefty." She added.
The two of you laughed as you sat there enjoying each bite of chicken and sip of wine. After a minute of fully enjoying the moment...
"So..."
"How's you and Mrs?" Yunjin suddenly asks.
"Heh! She's perfect." You answered not thinking of anything else as your mind drifted to your girlfriend.
"She really is."
"Kim Chaewon." You whispered. "She's the best, I... Seriously can't ask for more."
Unbeknownst to you, the girl you're currently with, the one sitting right next to you is having her heartbroken into tiny pieces as you continue your dialogue.
"I-i just love her."
'Of course you do.' The girl thought as she downs a whole glass of wine.
"Hey~ slow down there." You warned as you've realized how flushed her face is.
"Aahhhh! Whooo! That hits the spot." Yunjin exclaims as she slams the wine glass down.
"Y-you good?"
"Y-yeah, just... Jealous."
"Hehe, w-wait what?" You laughed thinking maybe you heard her wrong but little did you know that the magic of alcohol is doing its job.
"Yunjin."
"I mean two years... It really does make you wonder... How was I able to endure that long?"
"And if I'm being honest, the amount of workload I had would put shame into horses that have carriage all day."
"Jen."
"Hehe, right, that's my nickname, and it's been a while since you've called me that. Ever since you've dated Ms. Perfect you've been shy of calling me by my nickname." Her voice lowers as if she's losing energy mentioning the other girl.
"Uh..."
"Sshhh." She shushed before lowering her head on your shoulder.
"You said earlier that I can ask for anything right?"
Was it a mistake? Are you regretting giving your word that you'll be willing to give her anything. Now that she's showing a side of her that you never knew. No, this is for her, maybe she's gonna be reasonable despite the cracks that the alcohol let slip.
"W-what is it that you w-want?" You asked in a shaky voice.
Yunjin took a deep breath before saying; "You..."
Fuck.
"I want you..."
"But Yunjin, I have..." Perhaps you're being too hasty as you've failed to realize that Yunjin isn't finished yet.
"To look at me for tonight. Just me."
"Yunjin, this..."
You were about to say that 'this isn't right' but the alcohol starts hitting you, and your lips shut as your eyes are locked onto your coworker.
You then start to admire her visuals. You can't lie, you've had your fair share of glances at Yunjin before saying to yourself 'god she's beautiful.'
Her glimmering eyes, those plum lips, her cute nose mole. She's a sight to be stared at for a whole century, hell, forever even.
"Those eyes..." Yunjin whispers before taking the space in front of you locking you in between her legs as her arms snakes on your neck.
"Can they stay on me for the rest of the night?" Her hot breath brushes against your face, riddled with the smell of alcohol hits your nose causing your beads of sweat to form.
"H-how could they not?" You answered which caused Yunjin to turn away for a second.
"A-after those two years..." She whispered.
"It's stupid to assume that no one will catch a feeling for one another." She added.
"W-what are you sayin'?"
"I like you dummy." She replies in her shaky voice.
"Yun–.” Your lips shut as if she knew you were about to protest and say something she wouldn't be satisfied with.
But she didn't shut it with just a boring way, she shut it using her own lips. Those red plump alcohol hinted lips locks onto yours like it's the last thing she'll ever do.
"Hhmmm." As if her hunger was finally satiated, tasting every inch of your mouth exchanging your wine drowned spits.
Your hands instinctively traveled to her hips pressing her down to your legs before your make out session grew more and more aggressive.
[BUZZ]
Yunjin eyes shoots open when she hears her phone notification, quickly fishing it out of her pocket carefully as to not break your connection. She side eyes the phone to see a message from no other than...
Yunjin's eyes widens, guilt starts to creep in but she's already in too deep, as you've detached your lips from hers and start to explore her jawline tracing down her neck, giving Yunjin a chance to reply.
"What's that?" You asked as Yunjin quickly threw her phone away.
"Nothing, let's keep going?" Her devious smile made you anxious but with just a subtle lip bite you quickly came off your senses.
Your lips reconnect before her hands start working on your shirts button. You can feel the aggressiveness and frantic movements of her hands as she works unbuttoning each of them.
"Excited aren't we?" You teased in between the kisses.
Feeling her grin within your lips your hands traveled from her hips down towards her thighs. A hum escapes Yunjin's lips and hits your ears like a violin note played perfectly.
At the back of your mind, drowned by your wine pooling mind are the multiple thoughts. Most significant of them being... Guilt. You know that this isn't it and at the end of this you'll question yourself.
Yunjin pulls away from you before ripping off your shirt. Her eyes lights up from the sight as she almost drool over you. Being an exemplary employee she didn't want to let her superior be along with the experience. Quickly discarding her top presenting you with a sight you never expected to see.
"W-wow." You mouthed making Yunjin blush.
Your hands suddenly had a mind of their own and immediately landed on her slim hips. Feeling her milky skin against your hands was heavenly but then her hands suddenly grabs yours. Scared that they'll be pulled away, you tensed up producing a chuckle from Yunjin.
"Calm down..." She said softly.
"I won't leave." Yunjin's hands suddenly guides yours upwards.
Your eyes follow the path as it takes its time making sure you're able to trace her upper abs and finally reached her chest. A sigh of relief from both of you as if it took too long, but to be fair it did take 2 years for Yunjin to be in this position.
Speaking of which you've had enough of seeing Yunjin towering over you and you did felt her legs shaking during your hands travel up her torso.
Feeling her ease up at your touch giving her healthy mounds a good squeeze, you took the opportunity and switched. Carefully placing Yunjin down being wary to not leave the space between her legs.
It must've taken her by surprise, evident in her eyes beaming with excitement, even doing a tease by biting the tip of her finger giving you a seductive look.
Yunjin suddenly says; "I love you."
You paused looking at her sincere eyes. Your heart should've been firm for Chaewon but the way she's under you, the way her eyes digs deep through yours her chest rising up and down, her hands cupping your cheeks with such softness.
2 years really does have an impact especially when you're always with each other...
.
.
.
.
You didn't reply, you couldn't, how could you? This is all too sudden for you, even with the help of wine, your heart remains confused. On one hand you have Chaewon, who's been with you for almost a year now, she's been such a sweetheart, honestly don't deserve her evident from the fact that you're half naked on top of your secretary, speaking of which, on your other hand you have Yunjin, who's been with you since the beginning of your company, you were questioning the fact that she stayed for 2 years under your supervision giving her literally almost every work and yet she didn't ask for anything but seeing her now, hearing her confession made you realize what her reason is for staying that long.
"Hey... You're staring." She whispered softly.
"It's just... You're really beautiful." At the moment of heat you see her blush, trying to look away holding back her smile behind that lip bit of her.
Your heart swaying at the sight of the lady under you, damn it! Now your smiling at how adorably shy she is. How could you missed this, all those time you two were alone in your office.
All those overnight shifts you two had, even late night calls to verify a document. Fuck.
"Shall we?" She asks after recovering from earlier.
With agreement the only option you have, your lips reconnected with hers, tasting once more that sweet savoury lips of hers. However, Yunjin was eager to have more of you as her hands starts to work on your lower garments.
"Yunjin..." You whispered in between the spit exchange.
"Mhmm sir."
"Are you sure about this?" You questioned but that shouldn't have been directed to the lady.
You two paused before another smile from Yunjin appeared.
"I've waited 2 years for this, you think I'll question myself if I'm sure?"
The mere second after her answer, she finally finishes working on your pants pulling it down along with your underwear. You member swings and hits her thighs.
"Fuck." She hissed at the sight of your hard length.
Her hands wasted no time, gripping you and slowly stroking your member feeling the whole thing like she's never seen one before.
"You're so big... No wonder Chaewon's so possessive, even I'd keep this for myself." With your ego and cock being stroked. Yunjin took the opportunity to use her free hand to slowly remove her lower clothing as well.
"Fuck! You're wet–." You exclaimed as Yunjin starts rubbing the tip of your member onto her entrance.
Confident that you're well lubed, Yunjin fixes her position centering you inline with her core. A last look of assurance from both of you as you slowly penetrate her. Yunjin's face contorted in a mix of satisfied yet surprised look even going as to bite her lip to suppress her moan but a small whimper cuts through and enters your eardrums.
"F-fuck, sir!"
Meanwhile you're there trying your best not to be fully consumed by your lust, feeling her warm walls easing up on your member, makes your mouth salivate and it doesn't help that her moans along with her hands that's tussling with your hair was added with the sensation.
Now you're lost, within your feelings, within the sound of your assistant's moans and whimpers, within her arms around your neck and within her warm core. Skins slapping like there's no tomorrow as Yunjin's pulls you in for a kiss but ends up sucking your lips to somehow distribute the pleasure she's currently feeling but she's not alone as your hands grabs a hold of her orbs plying them like dough as you continue to bury yourself deep inside her.
"Aaahhh fucking–..." Your groan as you feel her walls clenching your member. A long sultry sigh from Yunjin tells you that's she climaxed arching her back while digging her nails onto you.
"Siiir!"
"Yes. Yunjin?" You asked.
"More." She answered before removing herself from you.
Such a contrast with words and action but you should've guessed what's happening. As Yunjin then repositioned herself on the arm rest of the couch, with her back side in front of you.
Glistening with her sweet juice, you just stare drooling at the sight of your assistant's juice bums. Your length twitched imagining the feel of her healthy loafs on your hand.
"What are you waiting for?" Yunjin seductively shakes her ass for you.
You swallowed a gallon of saliva before lining yourself against her ass, your eyes glued on her backside as your hands found its place on top of them.
"Hhmmm, sir. Just please put it in me."
"You're so fucking hot." You hissed as you slowly enter her core once more, her love liquid seeping through the crevice.
"Mhhmmm fuck!" Yunjin moaned.
"S-slap my ass sir." She suddenly asks, your hand twitched on top of her soft butt.
Giving them a good squeeze before placing a well controlled slap that leaves a few red marks on the lady's pearl skin. She hummed at the feel as you continued the deed matching every 5 strokes with a slap.
You then notice that Yunjin's core starts to get more and more wet along with her moans becoming more and more louder.
"Y-yes sir! Fuck me!"
"S-shit! God you're becoming tighter!"
"All because of you sir. Holy–f-fuck... your dick is so good!"
"I can't last any longer Yunjin!"
"Do it sir! Inside me! Fill me up!"
You gave her ass another slap before digging into her the deepest that you can before shooting wads of your seed. A loud moan escapes both of your lips as you collapse alongside each other. You two took your time to catch your breath as she rests her head on your chest with her hand placed on top of your heart.
"Sir." Yunjin called after her breathing became normal.
"Yunjin." The two of you sure should've had a lot to say to each other but the moment your eyes meet those words were brushed to the side and you could only smile.
Yunjin whispers: "I love you."
Then suddenly...
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Ok, Imagine: The Targaryens as yanderes
Thank @missglaskin for this, i've been reading too much of their headcannons and i need to get this off my chest, so bear with me
T.W: The Targaryens(yes, considering how problematic and delusional they can be, they are a warning) Kidnapping, Pregnancy and Death by birth (Maybe even miscarriages, remember this is the medieval era x-x) probably mentions of SH/SA (Not gonna go into details about this) and maybe more (BE AWARE, THESE ARE MY 8AM THOUGHTS BEFORE COFFEE)
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So imagine that the reader from the HOTD is not a kidnapped child from a unfortunate family. They are descendants from an kidnapped person (It's not any better, i know-)
1. Aegon I!Reader:
Now, Aegon the Conqueror, conquering all of Westeros until suddenly, he meets a person that he can't understand why at first, but he feels infatuated with this person, even more than with Rhaenys.
You could be a mere commoner or a lady from a small house. Either way, you are taken from your home never to be seen again. Maybe he convinced your family to give you away, maybe he burned them to ashes, we will never know.
And although they were completely against this at first, Visenya and Rhaenys grew to adore you and now they spend time with you a lot, wanting to protect you(mostly Visenya) and gain your affection(especially Rhaenys). Not that it bothers Aegon, he feels great to know that both of his wifes are on board, and you are terrified. The people who kidnapped you and took your life away, want to play "Happy Family" like they don't keep you locked 24/7 while they terrorize all of Westeros.
Maybe Aegon did married you, but i like to think that he didn't considering he has two wifes already. But he did got you pregnant (cuz of plot and stuff).
All the 3 adore your daughter (Yes, it's a girl, again, plot and stuff), she is the apple of their eyes, their little princess, and no one is gonna touch her.
Both Aenys and Maegor see you as their fourth parent, doing anything to gain your praise and affection, especially Aenys since Rhaenys passed when he was 3 years old, which causes you to be more motherly to him(Also because he is a sick baby boy-), consequently making Maegor jealous.
Speaking of Rhaenys' death, that made your and your daughter's incarceration worse, since Aegon's paranoia grew a lot more, wanting nothing but to protect his beloved and his sweet princess, Visenya was no help, she just indulged her brother's tendencies.
And may the Gods bless Dorne, cuz the attacks will be tripled now X-X.
Unfortunately, life sucks and you die due to a disease, leaving your daughter in the hands of insane Targaryens who become even more possessive over her.
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2. Aenys/Maegor!Reader:
After your mother's death, your family turn their eyes to you, now as the only remark of their beloved, since you took most of her characteristics, in appearance and personality.
And don't come thinking that once you reach adulthood that you will be free, Aegon admitted that he was not gonna marry you off anytime soon, he just lost his beloved, he is not gonna lose his daughter too, and the entire family agrees. Although Visenya did offer to marry you to Maegor, your father didn't seen to believe that Maegor was a proper suitor for you(+ The Faith of the Seven was gonna go crazy on them, considering that you are half-siblings-) and Aenys was already married to Alyssa Velaryon at this point.
You enjoyed spending time with Alyssa and your nephews, it was a way to distract you from the rollercoaster that was your life. Because of that and the obsession being a part of their blood at this point, Aenys' kids tended to find confort in you even if you were not too far from eachother in age.
As for Maegor, well, unlike Aenys and his family who only felt platonic feelings, Maegor's feelings grew into a romantic and sexual obsession that at the time he could not fulfill and Visenya was not much of help either, she told him that one day, you two would be married. So imagine his anger when he was forced to marry Ceryse Hightower.
For a couple of years, your life started to finally take course, sure, you were still trapped and with no way of getting out of your family's view, but it was better than when your mother passed, at least you walk around...with at least 4 trusted guards taking care of your every move...
And then Aegon died.
After taking the Iron Throne, Aenys became even more needy of your affection and support due to the huge stress he was dealing thanks to the rebellions against him. You would stay by his side most of the time trying to give him the emotional support he needs. And boy, that infuriated Maegor a lot. Everyone is competition to him at this point, doesn't matter what feelings they have for you.
Maegor's relationship to you was another rollercoaster. As children, you were pretty clingy onto him since he is your older brother and Aenys was always sick or busy. As teens, he became more touchy with you, but had to cross limits after some time and stopped almost completely after marrying Ceryse. However that did not stopped him from making something clear, he wanted you, you would be his, and that frightened you.
Now, isn't suprising that he was married to Alys Harroway. To you, it was, Maegor was always adamant about you and him, so what changed? Maybe he needed to suppress his feelings and saw something in Alys that resembled you? Maybe you would never know, since he was exiled right after everyone discovered, and Aenys didn't even let him say goodbye to you. But the reason was obvious, only the Gods would know what Maegor would do to you if had the chance to see you one last time before going to Pentos.
The last years of Aenys reign was stressful and agonizing, not just because of the rebellions. Because of Aenys' disease that made you stay and take care of him, you tried to stay around his children to find confort on each other. Visenya would also try to confort you as your stepmother, and help you take care of Aenys. But at end, when you thought that he was getting better, Aenys passed away.
And you barely had any time to mourn the loss of you half-brother, cuz after the funeral, Visenya leaves on Vaghar to return with Maegor. You could only watch as your stepmother was crowning your half-brother in your nephew's place and the decapitation of Grand Maester Gawen. Not too long after, Maegor marries you in a Valyrian Ceremony.
And you spend the rest of the night in your shared chambers with Maegor reminding you who you belonged to, with his words haunting your every thought.
Then everything went downhill, you were locked away from the world, Maegor was the only one you saw, sometimes maybe Visenya. No one could get in your chambers except the servants when you needed something, but they wouldn't say much out of fear.
You had no chances of escaping, even when Maegor went into coma, you had to watch over him, take care of him. Since that was your duty as his wife and Queen.
You never met Alys Harroway or Tyanna, you only saw them once: When Maegor executed them both, his way of teaching you what could happen if you disobeyed him.
Since you couldn't leave, you never discovered what Maegor actually did or how many did he killed, but you knew that he was no good king. You only worried for you sister in law and your nephews, that Maegor forbidden you from meeting.
Only when he married Rhaena, is when you had a brief chance to know what happened to the rest of the family, how he killed Aegon and Viserys, how Alyssa had to run away with Jaehaerys and Alyssane, and also 'met' her daughters with Aegon, Aerea and Rhaella. Rhaena did spared you the details of the atrocities that your husband did, you had heard and seen enough.
For years, Maegor tried to have an heir, specially with you, mostly with you, but you never got pregnant, had many miscarriages and you never understood why. Until you did.
That pregnancy was hell, in shorts, but you tried to go through with it. But nothing works out for you and unfortunately, you didn't make it.
When Maegor heard the news that you didn't survive, his only question was about the child, not gonna lie, he was devastated over your death, but he needed to know what killed you...and it was a girl.
You had a daughter, which made easier for Maegor to simply want her dead, after all, he needed a son for a heir. But when he demanded the child to be brought to him, the baby was no where to be found. Since Rhaena had took her away.
Your daughter would live without knowing who her father nor her mother was, but surely, she would have a life better than yours.
And that's all that matters, right?
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A/N: I guess this is it, i don't have the mentality to continue now, so if you want more, let me know...ok bye
#fireandblood#aegon the conqueror#aegon the conqueror x reader#rhaenys the conqueror#visenya the conqueror#x reader#maegor the cruel#aenys targaryen#yandere x reader#yandere imagine#maegor x reader#house of the dragon#Hotd#hotd yandere
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something lost, something gained
Summary: After being snatched by human traffickers while exploring an abandoned schoolhouse, Lucy fights to survive as she waits for Cooper to find her. (3.9k words)
(warnings for: attempted sexual assault, biting, blood, face slapping, groping, violence, murder, aftercare, hurt/comfort, cooper trying his best in a bad situation)
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Link to AO3
Awaking with a languid groan, Lucy's eyes flittered open for only a moment before slamming shut again as a dull pain to her temple made her wince and gasp. Raising her right hand to press at the skin, she was surprised to find her left hand moving in tandem and her eyes snapped open as she realised that her hands were bound together.
Gazing down at the coarse rope which encircled her wrists, panic arose in Lucy's chest as she glanced around the small, cell-shaped room and immediately understood that she was not anywhere recognisable. It didn't even look like the same building she last remembered walking into.
"Cooper?" Calling out with a dry, uncomfortable voice, a sense of irritation laced the anxiety which rolled through her. "What the fudge? Why am I in here?"
The door to the cell creaked open and Lucy glanced up from her slumped position to see a man she did not recognise fill the doorway. He was very tall, head almost brushing the top of the door frame, with a mop of raggedy blonde hair hanging limply across his shoulders and something in the way he looked at her made her skin crawl with unspoken danger. An instinctive disgust which made her mouth tighten.
"Finally awake." The man spoke, his voice sharp, light and slightly pitched. "We were worried we'd done some real damage to your head there."
At his words, Lucy finished her earlier assessment as her fingers once again grazed the hard lump which had formed on her temple - the skin feeling raw and wounded under her fingertips. Dragging her fingertips away, she found them flecked with her own blood.
"Who are you?" She asked, wide eyes darting across the limited space. "Did Cooper put you up to this? Or my father?"
"Don't know who any of those people are but we saw you going into that old schoolhouse with a ghoul so we snuck in, waited for you to split, and gently smuggled you out."
Gently smuggled.
The wound on her head suggested otherwise.
"Why?" A reflex question, one Lucy didn't think she wanted the answer to as the blonde man took a small step in her direction to stare down at her with a lecherous smirk.
"Cause you're in our territory and you're ours now. Me and my buddies have a little side business going on and you're our latest catch." His gaze roving across her white tank top and blue pants, one of his hands settled on the visible bulge of his groin as he winked at her. "We take them, break them, and pass them on to be sold. 50/50 share. And, baby, let me tell you, you're gonna fetch us a pretty price."
The panic in her chest now clawing at her heart as she scrambled her back against the cool stone of the wall, Lucy felt sweat break out across her body as she took in his candid admission with open-mouthed horror.
"No. You can't-"
"Yeah. I can smell the vault on you so I know you probably aren't rolling with the same diseases as all the other cunts we pick up."
Flinching at the term, Lucy fell back into what she knew best as old defense mechanisms kicked in to protect her as best they could.
"Let me go and I'll get you whatever you need. Caps, meds, weapons. I know people who could hel-"
"You?" Laughing openly at her offer, the man steadied himself against the doorframe. "Maybe that bulky ghoul we saw you with could have worked some muscle for us but you haven't got shit we need. Well, aside from-"
His hand still groping sleazily against his bulge, the man stepped fully within the cell and kicked the door shut before him. An action which made Lucy jump as her body shuddered and tensed to the point of discomfort, sensing the danger and violence to come.
"You see, cunt. I'm much nicer than my two friends out there and I'm willing to cut you some slack. Wrap your lips around my cock and suck it like your life depended on it, and I'll tell the boys that you're willing to be a good girl for us. They'll even leave their nasty 'breaking in' toys at the door if they think you're gonna be a good girl."
As he spoke, his body inched closer towards Lucy and her fingers shook terribly as she struggled against the rope holding her wrists, vision quick to blur as genuine fear rocked through her body.
He's going to rape me. Repeated in her head like a cruel, merciless mantra. The elders had told them what rape was, explained that they needed consent to ensure that everyone in the vault was happy and able to share their bodies without problem. They knew, in the vault, they all knew what was okay and what wasn't.
"Cooper!" She hollered out, voice breaking on the second syllable as she attempted to back up against the wall enough to scramble to her feet. "Please, fudge, someone help!"
A memory rose, unbidden in her mind as Lucy rolled her back against the wall. Not long after her body had started to change, one of the elders, a slender old guy named Ernest, had caught her in the gardens. He had asked her questions about her changing body, questions that made her heart feel heavy in her chest as a sense of how wrong he made her feel forced her to back away from him.
He had moved to grab her, his hand wrenching her arm away from her chest when her father had appeared from nowhere. He had been causal in his greeting but even as a child, she had noticed how tight her dad's smile was and how quickly he ushered her back to her room so he could have a quick chat with him.
Ernest died soon after. One of the first to be lost to the latest famine as the crops failed due to an unknown blight. She hadn't questioned it then, too many good people had been lost, but now, in this moment where that same childish fear weighed heavily at her limbs, she wondered if her father had killed him for what he had tried to do.
Kicking out with her feet as the man dropped to his knees before her, his fingers were quick to lock around her ankles - pulling her free of the wall and stealing the breath from her lungs as her head collided with the floor.
"Please, no. Don't do this! No!"
"First times always the worst."
Flashing rotted teeth at her as he straddled her waist, his hands pinned her own roped palms to her stomach as he burrowed down into her space. His breath was awful, smelling foul and rancid, and it sparked a retch in Lucy's throat as she twisted her head to the side. His tongue trailed across her cheek, tasting the grime on her skin as he growled in her ear.
"Just gotta remember to be a good girl and-ARGH!" Breaking off into a pained scream, the man reared back as blood poured from his mouth to drip down on her tank top.
Spitting out the large portion of tongue she had ripped free with her teeth, Lucy used her attackers moment of stunned pain to knock him free of her body. Crawling on her knees, she almost made it to the door when a rough hand wrapped around her hair.
"Stupid cunt!" The words lisping due to his injury, the man's hand was like fire in her hair as he snatched at her scalp viciously. "Gonna break your fucking nose for that."
Yelling as her hands locked around a small shard of metal that lay by the closed door, the man's foot having accidentally knocked it within the cell as he entered, Lucy gripped it tight as she spun on her knees, digging the shard deep into the closest foot she could reach before pulling it free with a vicious twist.
A fresh cry of pain broke free of her attacker as he crashed to the ground, his hands tight around his foot while he snarled obscenities at her.
Fuelled by adrenaline, fear and rage, Lucy pounced on him like a cat, knocking his back flat to the floor as she stabbed the metal as roughly into his throat as she could. Memories of her fraudulent husband flashed before her eyes and she hollered a vicious snarl as she dragged the metal through his skin until the blood flowed and the gurgling of his throat ceased.
Breathing heavily, she stayed in that position until his glassy-eyed stare repulsed her, the scent of fresh blood making her heave anew. Body shaking and mind rattling, it was only when a new voice broke the silence that she jumped as though an electric bolt had fired across her spine.
"Fuck, Petey. She's killed Owen."
Rolling off the corpse, Lucy was quick to take her earlier position - her stained fingers clutching the metal shard as her back pressed against the wall once more.
"Owen was always a dipshit. We'll be better off without him." The taller of the two newcomers added.
Looking just as filthy as the first guy, Lucy's eyes were wild as she pointed the metal at each of them in turn.
"L-let me go. I'll do the same to you." She stuttered, a sinking feeling of despair making her skin feel cold and clammy. "I've killed people before and you'll be next."
Glancing between themselves, both men burst out into a cruel laughter and their movements were quick as they descended on her. Fingers already trembling, it was easy for them to wrestle the metal from her hands and pin her to the floor; their much larger bodies easily holding her knees apart as they pressed them to the floor with their own legs.
Rough hands fished inside her tank top and Lucy found herself unable to do much but bare her teeth and fight off a sob as her chest was pulled free of her bra; breasts spilling over the fabric as matching grunts of approval escaped her attackers.
"They'll do nicely. Fuck, might not even sell this one, what do you think?" The one named Petey asked, his free hand gripping at her chin painfully as he tilted her head to the side in a crude inspection.
Cupping her left breast as though weighing it in his hand, the other man flashed a yellow smile at her.
"Could play with her for a few weeks without going to the others. Would you like that? A few weeks with us and then a ten minute walk up north to meet the rest of the boys?"
Refusing to answer as a fat tear rolled free of her eye, Lucy chose to remain quiet and not give them anything as she struggled in vain.
"You owe us for you did to Owen." The second man continued, his face an open leer as he released her jaw. "So I'm gonna fuck you and then Petey is gonna fuck you and then we're both gonna fuck you. Then you're gonna open those pretty lips wide for-"
"No."
A sharp hand collided with the side of Lucy's face, the blow catching her across the mouth and bursting her lip open in an instant as the taste of copper flooded her mouth.
"Not asking, cunt."
Their hands were all over her, one set fondling her breasts while the other pulled at the hem of her tank top to expose her stomach. They were everywhere and the feeling of them, hot and heavy atop her body, made her feel sick - her throat constricting and panicking as her breaths came short and fast.
The vague sound of the door slamming open touched at her senses but it felt so far off that she didn't think much of it until all hell broke loose.
A fresh splatter of blood sprayed across her face, the sensation matching by a booming gunshot which made her ears ring in the small space as the taller of the two, Petey, collapsed dead atop her - a hole leaking blood and brains from the front of his forehead to her exposed chest.
In shock, both Lucy and the remaining man stared at the corpse for a second before Lucy felt half the weight on her body disappear as the final attacker was pulled free. Her eyes unfocused and blurred with tears, she saw the flash of familiar, tattered leather which hurled her would-be attacker against the wall.
Sounds of exertion were quickly followed by a fresh death gurgle as Cooper's knife flashed in his hand for only a second before being drawn across her attackers throat; the arterial spray swiftly coating Cooper's clothed chest as he let go of his prey and allowed the fresh body to drop to the floor.
Not trusting her eyes, Lucy tilted her head back and cast her gaze to the dingy ceiling as her thoughs spiralled into a messy haze.
After a moment, Cooper's face swam in her vision and the close sight of him sparked a myriad of emotions within her; shock giving way to genuine relief before settling on fear as she took in the genuine fury which blazed in his stark white eyes as they darted across her battered face and disjointed clothing.
He wasn't angry with her, she knew that, but the sheer rage which rolled from his coiled frame made her want to curl into a ball and hide away from it. He smelled of leather and blood, the scent of fresh violence making her nose twitch as the corpses of her attackers lay motionless, crowding the floor of her cell.
"S'alright, I got you, sweetie." Cooper's hands were firm but gentle as he wrapped them around her shoulders, hoisting her enough that she were able to lean against the wall in a sitting position.
Despite everything, his voice was like a balm and she relaxed into his touch as her trembling fingers were gripped within his own - his knife glinting once more as he quickly severed her bindings and let the rope fall to the floor. In an instant, her knees snapped to her chest as her arms looped around them, her body curling in on itself as a wave of nausea made her throat feel tight.
Still on his haunches before her, Cooper studied her for a solid moment before matching her position as he leaned against the opposite wall, his legs outstretched and his back straight against the cool stone.
"Fix yourself, darlin'. I'd offer but I don't think you want another monsters hands on you before the day's out."
Keeping her knees tight, Lucy brought trembling fingers to her chest - her relief at being saved having made her forget about her state of undress - and she tucked her breasts away back into the off-white bra with a lifeless motion, the skin feeling sensitive and sore due to their abuse. Made decent, her arms were quick to loop around her knees once more, her chin sitting atop her knees as a gloomy, far-off expression graced her features.
"Did they-" A half question which Cooper quickly thought better of as he abandoned ship and adjusted it on the fly. "You okay?" It was a quiet ask, the words so low that Lucy knew she could ignore them if she wanted to.
"No," she stuttered, feeling weary despite the adrenaline which still pulsed in her veins, "but I have to be because what else is there. So I have to be."
Making a small noise of agreement in his chest, Cooper's gaze rose to the ceiling as he plucked his hat from his head and dropped it to the floor by his open lap.
"That you do, darlin'. Nothing else for it."
They sat in silence for a bit, the only slightly pained sounds coming from Lucy's throat as she adjusted to the various aches which afflicted her body. Her face was the worst as her temple throbbed like a bitch and her burst lip felt huge and ugly against her mouth. The bodies forever doomed to lay in messy piles, Lucy's eyes ghosted over them and settled on the growing patches of blood which each steadily leaked to the cell floor.
"You killed them all?" She said, already knowing the answer and unsure why she even asked.
"Not all of them. One of them was already dead when I got here and I'd recognise the teeth marks in that hunk of ripped tongue anywhere." Despite the guarded nature of his tone, there was a spark of warmth as he flashed his, well, her, finger at her, and Lucy swore she heard the slightest hint of pride leaking through. "You did good, sweetheart. You fought like a hellcat and you didn't let them win."
"Didn't win." Lucy mumbled miserly. "You did."
"Oh, I have no doubt you would have gotten them both in the end. They might have taken a few strips from you, but that fire in your belly would have scorched them dry."
Mouth upturning at the praise as she fought off the urge to cry, Lucy swiped at her eyes with the back of her hands as her breathing quickly grew erratic.
"All these bullshit lessons you've put me through and it still wasnt enough." She blurted out with a desperate gasp. "They're evil. I hate it here. I hate their cruelty. I hate their hurting. I hate-"
Finally unable to hold back the swell of emotion which threatened her, Lucy broke off on the final word as a heaving sob replaced any chance she had of cohesive speech. It was something raw and unfiltered, mourning the loss of some part of herself that would never be returned as she was forced to mold herself into a creature of violence and hate just to survive in their world.
Cooper, to his credit, let her cry without any false sympathies or interference. His face lacked any judgement, the hole in his face flexing slightly as he inhaled and exhaled steadily, eyes never shifting from Lucy's sobbing frame. Something difficult to pin down flashed through his gaze as though a multitude of possible outcomes were pushing at his thoughts.
After some internal debate, a grunt slipped free of Cooper's lips as he leaned across the short space and pulled at Lucy's shoulder.
So lost in her own misery, Lucy didn't fight the pressure of his strong hand as he pulled her to the side, dropping her to the floor in such a way that her head pressed against the upper part of his legs as she faced away from him. It did nothing to stop her tears, but it did give her something to lean on as he immediately retracted his hand to fold his arms fully across his chest.
Cooper's thighs were like unyielding steel beneath her head, giving Lucy something solid to pin her senses on as she fought to quell the quiver of her lip and the shudders which continued to wrack her body. Their journey had been hard and the hunt for her father was a disaster of interference and dead trails of information.
This was just the latest set-back in a long list of utter shit.
Offering her no other physical support, unsure if it would cause her to act out or break down further, Cooper waited until her breathing was a little more even before speaking again.
"Be sad." He paused, allowing the rare piece of advice to sit heavily in the air between them. "Be angry. Feel that fire in your gut burn so hot that you get the fear it's gonna burst free and raze everything around you to the ground. Hell, curse the day your momma brought you into the world if that's how you feel. But don't break."
Stopping once again, Cooper felt a rare moment of genuine pity for the woman as he glanced down at her. Lucy Maclean, who foolishly tried to choose peace in a peaceless world, still had a lot of learning to do when it came to the way that same world worked.
He could only show her so much, some lessons had to be learned the hard way, and if she could take them, then he would do his part to keep her whole.
"Whatever they do to you, survive it. Skulk off, lick your wounds, come back stronger. Get that revenge your blood sings for." Speaking as much to himself as her, Cooper allowed her a peek into his own thoughts, an insight he knew she wouldn't fully understand quite yet. "Never let them break you. Better off dead than broken in this world."
Gathering herself enough to shakily speak, Lucy gripped Cooper's knee with clawing fingers as she clung to him like a lifeline.
"There's more of them. Ten minutes up north. That's who they were- who they were going to sell me to."
"More side-tracking bullshit." Cooper sighed but his voice grew more contemplative as his gravelled tones mused on her words. "That said, been a while since I hunted down some proper vermin. No bounty. No rules. Might be fun to let loose for once."
He let the idea hang in the air, curious if she was hinting at what he suspected she was.
"You coming with me?"
"Yeah."
Unseen by the shaking Lucy, a pleased smile split Cooper's lips as he glanced down at her steady answer.
It wasn't often he took on a companion, far less one that he'd actually indulge, but the odd woman intrigued him with the hypocrisy of her very existence. A vaultie with a edge, naive blood screaming out for wrongs to be righted just like his own as she fought alongside him like a harpy.
It did help that they both wanted her dear old daddy strung up like the traitor he were.
But revenge would see her right.
She was owed a debt by those who had tried to take her, a debt of honor, and he would see that she avenged it in a glorious explosion of violence that would help keep her nightmares at bay as they would leave no doubt that the beasts responsible were well put down and unable to haunt her.
By gun or by knife, she would get at least that.
He had seen the broken ones. The ones used and abused by so many across the wastelands that they gave up everything and became husks even more devoid of humanity than the ghouls who lost the battle and went feral. It was a fate worse than the many deaths he'd experienced in his time.
No one deserved that.
Especially not Lucy Maclean.
His hand ghosting over her head, fingers only an inch away from her fine head of mousy hair, Cooper tilted his head to the side as he took her exhausted frame in.
"Sleep for now, vaultie. Time for this little killer to save her strength. So take it for what it is and when you wake, we'll see about righting some of the wrongs that happened here."
Feeling more safe with the violent ghoul who had shown her the new reality of her world than any other of the awful creatures she had met since leaving her vault, Lucy's eyes fluttered close as his voice washed over her and exhaustion claimed her before she could do anything to muse on that odd feeling of safety.
Links to the rest of the series:
Part 1
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
#mind those warnings! Cooper really does his best here and ive tried to keep things as in character as i could given the circumstances#cooper howard x lucy maclean#cooper x lucy#ghoul x lucy#lucy maclean#cooper howard#the ghoul#fallout fic#fallout 2024#fallout#I'm very pleased with this one ngl#so if it flops im gonna drink strychnine#cooper howard fic#lucy maclean fic#fallout fanfic#vaultghoul#ghoulcy
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Update 13 extras
These are two extras from the latest update of my Steddie SMAU Gareth the Matchmaker. It contains spoilers from the latest update so be sure to go read that before this!!!
Timetable of the events in Update 12 and 13:
-----------
The day Steve spent thinking Eddie was done with him:
Steve's apartment has never felt colder.
It downgraded the moment Robin moved back to the US, taking all the decor Steve has always made fun of her for but secretly liked, but at least he had the kids visiting and hours of Facetime calls with Eddie to make up for that.
Now, Robin is gone, the kids are back home, and Eddie won't talk to him.
He can't lie and say he isn't hurt by Eddie's complete lack of trust but also, can he really blame him? how would he have reacted to a compromising video of Eddie, similar to his? Steve would like to think that he would give him a chance to explain but, who knows?
With his schedule completely cleared, lost sponsorships, and no press until his team comes up with some sort of public statement, Steve finds himself all alone in his apartment, with nothing to distract him or keep him away from checking his phone every thirty seconds, just in case Eddie texted him and he didn't notice.
He checks again. Still nothing.
Logically, he could call Gareth and ask him. But he can't keep bringing him into their relationship and hope that he will fix it. Also, Steve is afraid he will discover that Gareth has also blocked him.
The rest of the day goes on excruciatingly slow, he doesn't move from his couch except to go to the bathroom, his phone always in his hands as he absent-mindedly scrolls through comments filled with rage and insults (he will deal with breaking the promise he made to Robin once she arrives in Tokyo).
The thing is, the comments don't even hurt him.
A few years before, he would've gone crazy for one not-so-positive comment about him, but now he finds himself not caring at all.
These people don't know him, their words mean so little.
Eddie's silence is much more painful.
It doesn't take him too long after that to realize that he would gladly have the whole world hate him if he could have Eddie loving him back as much as he did.
It's around six that Steve decides to write the email. It feels so formal, so cold, and he isn't exactly the best at writing but he's desperate. He writes everything in one go and doesn't even do a double-check before pressing send.
He sighs.
Around midnight, the knock on his door breaks the hours-long silence he has been immersed in the whole day, startling him.
He realizes he didn't even have lunch and dinner.
He takes a second too long to react so a second knock follows the first one.
Steve drags his feet all the way to the front door, ready to accept any takeout Robin might have ordered to cheer him up or to chase out any journalist who might have found his address.
He's not ready to be face-to-face with Eddie.
Eddie, with even messier hair than usual and panting as if he ran all the way to Japan from Messico.
"Eddie" Steve's tone comes out way more broken than what he wanted to, but then he feels one of Eddie's hands on the nape of his neck and his arm around his middle and he can't complain.
He has never embraced him like that.
Steve hugs him back and buries his nose in Eddie's neck, the hand on his nape encouraging him with a small pressure, and he breathes in.
They stay like this, on the threshold, both keeping a strong grip on the other, for a long time. Steve is scared of what will come after he loosens the grip, Eddie seems to be wanting to give him all the physical affection he missed during their weeks of separation.
Steve breaks the silence, still not moving an inch "I thought you blocked me" comes out muffled by Eddie's shirt, but still clear enough.
Eddie squeezes him even tighter "I'm an idiot", Steve can't see him but he sounds pained "Remember how you always tell me to charge my phone…?"
Steve chuckles, gaining enough courage to turn around and look at his face "you really are an idiot."
Eddie smiles back at him, happy to being able to look at him in the eyes "hello, sweetheart".
Steve melts in his arms "hey to you."
Everything else comes out easier after that.
They manage to move away from the door enough to close it, still keeping contact one way or another, and they move to the couch.
With the constant pressure of Eddie's body next to him, his hands moving from his shoulders to his hair or his arms, the words come out easy.
Steve gets exactly what he was whishing for: a chance to be heard.
And Eddie listens carefully as Steve tells him everything.
The fight with Jonathan and the reason why he broke his camera.
His friendship with Tommy, Billy transferring to their school, how people just started to associate them because of their popularity and looks, a reputation that Steve had never managed to scroll off of himself even after high school.
He tells him about the countless times he tried to cut them out of his life, unsuccessfully.
He tells him about the good parts, meeting Robin and the kids, doing the job of his dreams, and using his status to help others. He tells him about the bad parts, how he used to act in high school, the nasty things he said to Jonathan, and how he often looked the other way whenever Billy pushed around other people.
Even as Steve shares the ugliest parts of himself, not once Eddie loses his grip on him, not once he interrupts him or shows any type of judgment.
Somehow, Eddie understands and he's okay with Steve's ugly parts as much as he is with the good ones.
Steve doesn't know, but that evening, Eddie falls quite a lot more in love with him than he already was.
However, Steve knows that even if the whole world hates him, Eddie doesn't, and that's all he can ask for.
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steddie smau#smau#gareth the matchmaker#steve x eddie#steve and eddie#stranger things#corroded coffin#corroded coffin au#famous au#baseball player steve#rockstar eddie#platonic stobin#chrissy cunningham#modern au#sbc writes#GTM updates
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https://at.tumblr.com/yelenasdiary/the-gifs-on-my-last-fic-were-meant-to-be-side-by/zsubaydnvtqc
Well since u asked… 👀 maybe Dom!Nat x fem!reader where nat is a mob boss or powerful CEO, and readers job is just to be a stress relief for her. Like nat Just uses, spanks, and degrades us for her personal pleasure. 🧎🏻♀️anyways nat can use me anytime LMAFO. THANK U LOVE 🫶🫶
To Good Use
Pairing: CEO! Natasha Romanoff X Fem! Reader.
Warnings: Dom! Nat, Sub! Reader, Spanking, Degradation Kink, Daddy Kink, Fingering, Strap-On Use, Nipple Play, Overstimulation, Language Warning, Rough Sex Basically.
1.9K | 18+! Minors DNI!
Tears filled your eyes as the hand of your boss came down harshly on your backside. Bend over her lap, your skin red with the print of her hand as she took her frustration out on your mistake. "Do you know how late I was?" She spoke in a stern tone before the sound of her hand slapping your right cheek once more filled the room.
"I asked you a question whore, answer me!"
You stuffed up her last meeting of the day, it wasn't on purpose it was simply just a misunderstanding between you and her client.
"I-I'm sorry d-daddy" you sobbed in pain, a pain you could never admit that you loved. "I was 45 minutes late because of you! I didn't hire you to fuck me around yet here you are! Do you want my company to fall? Huh? Do you want to see my company gain a bad name?" Another spank on your red behind only made you wetter. Your cunt clenching around nothing with each slap she delivered, your clit throbbing with need to be touched.
"Are you fucking dumb?! Answer me!" Natasha demanded.
"N-no daddy, I'm s-sorry daddy, I deserve to be punished" you replied. You'd lost count of how many times her hand slapped your bare arse, how long you've been bend over her lap listening to her disappointment in you. If only you'd remembered to tell her the meeting was brought forward by an hour.
"Of course you do! You know, when I hired you, I knew you'd be the perfect little fuck toy for me to use. I saw the way you couldn't keep your eyes off me in your interview, you're just a brainless little whore and I'm going to make sure you never make this mistake again, do you understand?" Natasha spoke with another slap.
"Yes daddy"
"Get off me. You're going to ruin my pants with how pathetic and wet you are" she slightly pushed you off her lap but not before seeing the wet patch on your panties as you stumbled to your knees. She looked at you as she made you look up at her by gently lifting your head with her thumb, "do you remember your safe word?" She asked. She always asked this when things were stressful for her, it was the time you knew you were in for a rough time.
You nodded, "yes, roses"
"Good. Now, stand up and strip. And wiped those tears, you look pathetic" Natasha lent back in her chair as she watched you begin to remove your clothing. She loved watching you do anything she said, she sent everybody in the office home early just to have this afternoon to ruin you in ways she'd been thinking the time she was in her meeting.
"God, look at you. You want to keep this job so fucking bad you'll do anything I say. Maybe I shouldn't have sent everybody home early, maybe I should've just fucked you in front of them all, let them see how much of a desperate whore you are. Look at your panties, fucking soaked. Why? Did getting your arse spanked turn you on?"
Shamelessly you nodded, embarrassed that it was true. "Use your words. Tell me exact how you'd liked it" Natasha's tone was harsh but raspy, sending a wave to your core as you clenched once again around nothing.
"I love when you spank me, daddy" you replied standing in front of her completely naked.
"You can't even answer the question correctly. Tell me, did you purposefully fuck my meeting up so I would punish you?"
"No daddy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean too! I promise"
"So you're just a dumb little whore who forgot? Get on the desk and spread your legs. I'm going to play with what's mine, going to show you just how brainless you are"
Natasha stood from her desk chair and watched you jump up onto her desk and spread your legs, showing her just how wet you truly were. The cool air hardened your nipples and made your cunt clench, making your boss chuckle at your state. "You're so fucking wet for me it's disgusting. I'm your boss!" She spoke as she closed the small space between you and her. Running her fingers through your wet folds as she looked you in the eyes, "say it. Tell me how much of a desperate little slut you are" she said without warning as she slid two fingers inside your pussy.
A moan escaped your lips as you felt her trust her fingers harshly into you, "I'm just a desperate slut for you d-daddy, just h-here for you to use me like t-the whore I am" you managed to word as she abused your hole with her fingers, her thumb ghosting your clit causing more moans to fill the air. "That's right baby, daddy's little whore. You're so wet and tight, your pussy is sucking me back in. Fuck yourself on my fingers" her free hand pinched your right nipple harshly.
"F-fuck daddy!" You moaned as you bucked into her hand doing your best to grind on her fingers. Natasha shook her head at the sight of you while she continued to tug and twist each on of your nipples before sliding a third finger easily into your clenching pussy, throwing your head back in pleasure as you moaned her name. A few more bumps and Natasha stopped, pulling her fingers out as you whined at the loss of her fingers.
"Clean them" Natasha instructed, "if you want to cum, you're going to show me you want it. Now open" she added. You did as told, opening your mouth for her to place her fingers against your tongue. Sucking the sweetness of your juices of her fingers while keeping eye contact with her. "You're going to take my new strap today. I brought for times just like this, when you can't do anything right and make me look like a fucking fool in front my clients" she spoke as she pulled her fingers from your mouth and began to unzip her pants.
This was by far the biggest strap you've seen her have, the dark red color suited her so well like it was custom made just for her to use on you. The length worries you as your eyes were glued to the toy stood proudly. "T-that looks too b-big" you said as you swallowed the lump in your throat. "Did you not hear me? I said you'll be taking it. You might think it's too big but that pussy is screaming for it" Natasha towered over you, the tip of the strap rubbing through your folds, using your slick as a lubricant.
You couldn't help but moan softly everytime she slapped your clit with the tip, making her chuckle once more. "Such a slut, already moaning and I haven't even entered your tight pussy yet. What we're you just saying huh? It's to big? Let's see" Natasha pinned both of your hands above your head while her free hand guided her thick strap into your cunt, stretching you more with every inch.
"Look at you, sucking me in like a cheap whore" Nat spoke over your whimpers. "D-daddy p-please it's too big" you whined as she bottomed out inside of you. She smirked as she looked down at how well your pussy looked wrapped around her cock, completely not phased by your whimpers as she began to harshly trust into you.
Here you were, spread out on her desk as she fucked you hard against the wood, watching as your breast bounced with every thrust, smirking at the way you gripped the edges of the desk as you moaned her title. The loud sounds of skin slapping against one another added to the sounds she pulled from you, making you glad she sent everybody home early.
"Daddy, f-fuck! P-please!" You moaned when she picked up her speed, fucking all her stress and frustrations into you, making you a whimpering little mess for her. The way she loved you most, begging her to let you cum, wanting her to stop but never wanting her to stop. "Shut up, can you do that? Just shut up and take my cock like the dumb whore you are for me!" She hushed you while pounding deeper. The need to cum was building quickly and you knew she wouldn't be impressed but you couldn't help yourself, "n-need to cum! Please!" You threw your head back once again only for Natasha to pull out.
"Don't give me that look, I told you. If you want to cum you'll work for it" she glared as she sat back down in her chair before patting her lap. You straddled her and let her line the tip of her fake cock with your soaking pussy before sinking slowly down onto her. The new position making you feel even more stretched out, you could feel her deeper than you've ever felt her. Natasha looked up at you, "go on baby, ride daddy's cock" Her hands gripped your hips harshly as you began to slowly ride her the best you could.
"God! You're fucking pathetic at everything, can't even make yourself cum on my cock can you?" Natasha groaned as she forced your hips to grind faster and harder on her strap, your moans got louder the closer you got to breaking. "Are you make this mistake again? Fuck me around and make me late to important meetings again?" Natasha watched as you were on the edge of falling apart against her. She bucked her hips just to hear you scream her name.
"No daddy!! P-please!! M'sorry! Won't do it again! Please!!" You begged, doing your best not to cum without her permission. You're eyes rolling back with bliss as her cock hit your favorite spot over and over again. "Next time you fuck up, I'm showing everybody in this office how much of a needy little whore you are! Now cum!" She demanded.
Your hands gripped her shoulders, nails digging in harshly through her shirt as you came, falling onto her for support while she didn't stop moving her hips and fucking you until you saw stars. Dragging out your orgasm as long as she liked, even when it was too much for you, she had a hold over you.
"Too much daddy!" You whimpered as she picked you up while still inside you and placed you back on her desk. Natasha didn't say a word as she started to pound into your abused hole once again, her hands holding your waist down to stop you from squirming all over her desk. Every now and then she would harshly draw tight circles around your clit, driving you to the edge once more. Screaming her name as you came for the second time around her.
Natasha stilled as she looked down at you, out of breath with sweat droplets on her forehead. She brushed your sweaty hair from your face and smiled softly, "you did so well for me, I needed that. Thank you" she kissed you gently as she pulled out.
"No, thank you daddy" you looked at her with a smirk. "Wait here, I'm just going to go get a wet cloth, I'll clean you up and take you home" she spoke as she removed the harness from her waist.
Even though she could be rough with you as much as she needed, she never failed to care for you afterwards. Even if you had to spend a few hours in the office while your body recovered, she wouldn't leave and she always made sure you got home safely.
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Holding Her - Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader
Melissa Schemmenti/Female Reader
Summary: Melissa doesn't usually scare easily, but her daughter, so small and fragile, is the scariest thing she has to face.
Classification: Slight angst, fluff
Warnings: Premature baby, insecurity
Word count: +1400
Unrevised
She's small, much more so compared to her brother who was born equally prematurely, she's fragile and much calmer. When Melissa looks at her, suddenly feels incredibly scared of this little human being. The hands, which she had never considered big or imposing before, seem extraordinary big to hold the baby weighing less than 5 pounds for the first time, right there in the labor room, just after her chaotic arrival into the world. Olivia Ann doesn't cry much, doesn't give much work and sleeps almost all the time, the little body seeming to struggle to breathe, something that makes her heart ache and a strange feeling in the pit of stomach with the sight, as well as the slightest possibility of losing her little girl. If she could, she would breathe and give the life for her, feel the pain and struggle in her place.
"Mel..." Y/N calls her after realizing that she isn't listening, the two are in the same room while the younger finishes feeding the newborn "Do you want to hold her?" and offers after the nurse understands what she means, agreeing.
Having been born prematurely and underweight, the girl was admitted to the ICU almost immediately. The next day mom was released, but she remained in the hospital for three days under observation, intubated to ensure that there were no complications, so that she could breathe properly, being fed by tube in the hope of gaining enough weight and barely able to be held by her parents, only during visits guided by the nurses. It's a painful experience. Melissa is fully aware of how this affects her wife even more, but a selfish part can't help feeling jealous of how she manages to hold the baby. She knows how she should just put out the arms and graciously accept the privilege of finally being able to hold Liv after everything, to feel skin-to-skin with her, as recommended, to talk tenderly to her, to tell her how much she is loved and to stroke the (y/h/c) hair. But she's scared. The tubes are gone and her daughter seems stronger than the day before, skin more flushed, eating naturally, the idea of touching her still scary. What if her hands are too rough and/or strong? It could hurt or make her hate being held by the teacher. What if the perfume bothers her? Or she doesn't even know how to hold it? After all, the first time they left the hospital with a chubby little ball and now they have a little doll that seems to weigh as a feather, fragile as glass.
"I... No... Yes, no, I don't know." she struggles for words and the green eyes water when she notices the confused look on her wife's face, replaced by sadness "Amore mio..."
"I know you're worried, but our little girl is strong and she'll surely love your lap." the other whispered in encouragement, looking at their daughter in her arms, already a little sleepy after feeding.
"It scares me." the redhead confessed with a sigh.
"Holding her?"
"No. She..." their eyes meet and she ponders for a few seconds before explaining "I was so scared when our Liv was born and I held her in that room after I thought we'd lost her, I felt like the world had stopped and she's so small, so fragile, her tiny hands holding my finger. I felt afraid. With the slight possibility of losing her, of losing you, somehow hurting Liv in that one minute that I'm sure I'll remember for the rest of my life. And she's here."
"With us. It was really scary, for both of us, but seeing that she's fighting gave me the strength to keep going. I confess I was scared to hold her too, the experience was like she might break in my arms or the tubes would mess up, a million possibilities ran through my head, well, until I had our little baby in my arms." Y/N settles Olivia in her arms, admiring how different she already looks after a few days of life, with a healthier appearance and her facial features appearing little by little, it's progress "Liv is here, strong, fighting, that's what matters now."
"But..."
"No buts, no excuses. Come here." she points to the armchair she's in, opening up a space for Mel to sit next to her, which she does without contest "Look at our girl. Ten toes, ten fingers, a cute little button nose, just like Luca's when he was born, isn't it?"
She ponders, taking a closer look at the little face, the eyes are the same shape as Y/N's (even if it's her color), they also share the same hair color, the same mouth and ears, but the nose... it's identical to their firstborn's, which he inherited from her. Every day the boy looks more and more like her, a spitting copy. It warmed her heart. And made her a little convinced.
"Yes, she does... And the same feet too."
"The little chubby feet of the Schemmenti." the wife teases.
"Hey, it's a family heirloom, chubby feet and delicious recipes make a Schemmenti." she laughs, feeling some of the tension drain away, then whispers, "And street smartness too."
"That's a fact." both laugh and a comfortable silence hangs in the air, green eyes fixed on their daughter who begins to fall asleep calmly "Honey, do you want to try? I'm here, there's a nurse right over there." she points to the nurse at the door of the room talking to a coworker "It'll be fine. But if you..."
"No, no, I want to try, amore mio." a sudden confidence runs down her spine and almost by instinct she puts out her arms, an apprehensive smile on the lips, a glow in the air and anxiety in her stomach, she could swear she was about to sweat through to hands "I want to hold Liv."
The couple exchange a complicit look, trying to reassure each other, it's kind and understandable. The teacher smiles genuinely this time. When she realizes that this is really happening, the heartbeat increases and the fingertips tingle. Before can have any doubts or think about giving up, she feels the little bundle of joy being placed against her chest, and the arms instinctively wrap around the colorful blanket. The smell of baby reaches her nostrils, slightly sweet and very pleasant, the skin is soft, fine hair adorns the top of head and her eyes open in curiosity, exploring the atmosphere, who is holding her.
"Ciao, cara mia." she whispers to the girl, admiring every little feature and movement, she seems to recognize her mom by voice.
"You know, newborns can't see very well, but they recognize voices that they heard in the womb. And you talked to her, told her stories and even sang. She recognizes you." Y/N says with emotion and leans in, giving her wife a chaste kiss "And your voice... well, it's unique."
"I know, that's why you fell in love with me so quickly." Melissa shrugs the shoulders smugly, internally melting with delight that the daughter remembers her and seems to like it, because when Liv hears her again quickly smiles, even though she knows it's just a spasm, it still makes her sigh, thinking it's one of the cutest things she's ever seen in the world "You like my voice, don't you, my principessa?!"
Her wife watches the whole interaction with admiration, never failing to stare at the sweet smile forming cute dimples, knowing that she has chosen the right person to have children with. The redhead is simply so natural with Liv as she is with LuLu, anyone can feel the love in every gesture, word and look, she understands the insecurity she had about holding the baby, but she knew that once they were together there would be no separating the duo. In addition, Olivia always seems calmer in the presence of the other woman than with her, the one who gave birth. They talk for a few more minutes until the newborn falls asleep again. No surprise, considering that babies of this age sleep around 16 hours a day and in a fragmented way.
All said and done, Mel still didn't want to let her go and kept holding her, unable to separate herself from their youngest.
"She still scares you?"
"Yes." she replied, pausing between sentences, looking at Olivia with affection "She scares me how fucking much I love her."
"No swearing around our kids, Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti!"
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On the Nature of Holmes & Watson (& Trevor)
This was meant to be a meta, but in reality it's probably just going to be a rambly wall of text and emotions. Oh well.
Something that always captivated me about the ACD canon was how...special Holmes and Watson were. They were unique in their commonality, their casualness. The Holmes stories had served as the blueprint of the modern detective genre in itself--I had expected a sidekick. What I had not expected was the way the sidekick and detective came to be; to be remembered as one of the greatest friendships in literary history.
There is something so inexplicably beautiful about a lost, lonely, war-weary veteran returning to a city of thousands. A 'cesspool' of a city, he calls it; and yet somehow, in some way, he manages to find a enigmatic, strange person that needed Watson as much as he did him. In STUD, Watson mentioned how he spent his days before meeting Holmes wasting his days, idling about from hotel room to hotel room. After all the war and trauma, only followed by the banality and blandness of living in a city that is thronging with distant people, I can't help but think how much Watson and Holmes saved each other. Yes, over the course of their many adventures, they have saved the other's life many times. But I like to think that they saved each other from themselves; from the loneliness and the struggles they faced. Watson finally had something to do with his life again through accompanying Holmes and chronicling his exploits. Holmes finally had something he could project his ideas off of, somebody that could appreciate and constantly be in awe of his talents. Somebody that could help him when needed, and sit in comfortable silence or conversation; someone to make him not alone.
This is very important for Holmes. I suppose anybody who read the ACD canon already knows this already. But for all we know, the last friend Holmes had was Victor Trevor, who was just alone as he was. And Trevor left to work on a tea plantation in Nepal after the events of 'The Gloria Scott' (...I don't know why Conan Doyle made him do that. Is it because the British like tea so much?). The point is, Holmes was alone again. The great detective, who often liked to present his ideas as if he was an monologuing actor, was alone on the stage, with no one in the audience to clap for him. Then Watson came along, and Holmes became a prominent detective; but more importantly, he gained a lifelong friend.
At the end of the day, that's why I keep returning to the Holmes stories. Yes, Sherlock Holmes is brilliant; yes, the cases are intriguing and I love Victorian literature so much that I would've probably read it even if I wasn't invested in the characters. But at the heart of every case is the friendship between these lost, lonely men, who somehow found each other in a city of millions and made the best of it. The ACD canon is as much about mystery as it is human connection. I can't properly express it, but wherever the stories take place--on the windy hills of Dartmoor, the countryside of Reigate, or the crackling fire of Baker Street--Holmes and Watson will always be there, side by side. We see this, in every adaptation since.
They are truly the fixed point in a changing age, and I love them for it.
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