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brookheimer · 1 year

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the one thing i feel pretty certain about for this episode is that america will not decide the election. a decision will be made, a president will be elected, but america will not be the deciding factor.

succession can’t mimic 2016 or 2020 point blank, that would be boring and have nothing to say. it can’t try to outdo trump because it’ll go too whacky and fall flat like veep’s last season (sorry conheads, no way he’s winning). but what it CAN do is illustrate the immensely corrupt, often arbitrary, and hugely influential nature of news media and conglomerations on political processes. i think probably jimenez will be in the lead, then atn/waystar does something to, i don’t know, discount votes or cast suspicion on jimenez or call the election for mencken early, and the tide will shift, even though the votes are already in. the votes don’t actually matter. the actual result doesn’t actually matter. that’s the power logan (and as an extension, billionaires and CEOs in general) hold. shiv says it herself to logan in s4e2: “just cause you say it’s true doesn’t make it true. everyone just fucking agrees with you and believes you, so it becomes true and then you can turn around and say like, 'oh, you see? see? i was right.'” but it doesn’t matter that logan’s “a human fucking gaslight,” everything he says comes true anyways. not because he was right, but because that’s how it works. he says things and then they happen, regardless of what the truth is or what should actually come to pass. that’s been one of the key throughlines since the very first episode of the entire show when, in response to kendall calling logan out of touch because times are changing and logan isn't changing with them, logan hisses that everyone always says you’re wrong until you do it and prove you were right: “you make your own reality.” you can't miss the bus if you're the one driving it. the election, the votes, the political process? none of that matters. it was always going to come down to the roys and their ilk (allies or enemies, just the top 1%) — that was the whole point of “what it takes” (the mencken episode) last season, after all.

i’ve seen lots of theories about what america will choose and how the candidates will respond and all that and i just don’t think that’s the show’s focus; i think the whole point is to demonstrate the lack of agency, the illusion of democracy. because, i mean, we’ve already seen the fall of democracy via fascist election and fascist election-denial, both in real life and in the countless (usually mid) satires created afterwards. it would be disappointing to see succession use the election to reiterate that same point of 'ohhh alt-right ahhhhh!!!' i don’t think it’ll be about ‘fascism’ at all — at least, not ‘trump-y’ fascism. it’ll be about fascism in the broader sense, the kind that doesn't sport a KKK hood (even when it keeps one tucked away in the attic). it's the fascism that every single roy (very much including shiv and kendall) aid and abet -- the fascism that so many succession fans don't seem to regard as fascism, despite it quite literally being the definition of fascism. trump wasn’t the entrance of fascism into our political process. he wasn’t the lone sign of the failing of american democracy. democracy in america has long been illusory, trump just made it more blatantly evident with his particular brand of hate-speech-ridden masculinist in-your-face fascism.

so i think that’s what this episode will hopefully focus on — america will not decide. corporations, news media, and the roys will. thus, the president will most likely become president not because the country supports his policies the most, but because he’s likely to agree to help block a business deal for a major media empire, and the other candidate is unlikely to. and this will likely come to pass due to said major media empire's interference and influence: they create their own reality. they say it, and everyone agrees with them and believes them, so it becomes true.

#WOOF okay here's my unnecessary ~thematic prediction~ for this episode #i have some more like random thoughts ab what'll happen but those r less thought out and more throwing shit at the wall etc #but i've been thinking a lot ab this ep n idk i just can't see any other way it could be done satisfyingly -- they can't just do 2016/2020 #again. the focus has to be elsewhere. i have some specifics thoughts on details but again those r kinda random n will be in another post #after bizarrely getting a lot of things right this szn i know a lot of people are looking to me to see what i'll say for this ep and let me #remind yall that I AM LITERALLY JUST GUESSING BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE SHOW AND HOW NARRATIVES #TEND TO WORK PARTICULARLY IN SUCCESSION! if i am wrong which i very well might be please do not crucify me. i know literally #nothing more than anyone else i'm just a random english/gov major who likes speculating about media ! that said if i end up right again #somehow then yes i am a prophet i am jesse armstrong i have never been wrong about anything in my life. etc #watch this age so poorly tho.#LOL #also fwiw i dont think the Shock etc is going to come from the election results - maybe possibly from the way things happen (i could see a #line of miscommunication resulting in fucked up outcomes etc which i can get into in another post) or a roy sibs moment but i just #don't think there's any way the results themselves cld be surprising. it's jimenez or mencken. it's not gonna be connor guys.#succession #succession spoilers #except not really. just succession speculation more than anything else #long post #succession speculation #100

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accirax · 5 months

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Through the magic of an AU, Xander, Min, and Teruko make it through the night, avoid a Class Trial, and participate in the first motive alongside everyone else. Except, this time, the first motive is... a gift exhange?

(basically, if it wasn't clear, i'm drawing the drdt characters doing a secret santa exchange with each other, hopefully posting one interaction per day until christmas!)

#drdt secret santa saga #<- block this tag if you don't want to see any of the posts. since there will be seventeen of them #danganronpa despair time #drdt #monotv #teruko tawaki #xander matthews #drdt spoilers #<- for the caption. i think i'm largely gonna avoid spoilers this time yippee!#aw shit here we go again etc etc #i'm hoping this one will take less time than drdttober but also i wanted to have more of them done before today #and i didn't #so we'll see what happens!!!!1!!#hopefully posting one per day is okay for drdttober i put them all together because i didn't want to spam the tag #but i feel like something more advent calendar-ish is more suitable for christmas? i hope it's just like a nice present :)#also please do not take this as a knock on drdtcember or the fangan gift exchange #those are both very cool ideas i was just intimidated out of doing them by quantity of work and others' expectations #but i still wanted to do something fun! hence this #all of the matchups are randomized btw. i thought that would be most fun #my art #comic #fanart #fanganronpa #fun fact i was originally going to do something with sdra 2 and the 12 days of christmas #but did you know. that there are SO MANY parts of the 12 days of christmas that are just large groups of people. it was boring #i pretty much only had ideas for 12 11 5 and 1 so i aborted and did this instead #i'll figure out a way to draw sdra 2 someday. someday......

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curiositymemes · 1 month

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STICK SEASON: WE'LL ALL BE HERE FOREVER.

taken from the 2023 album by noah kahan. trigger warnings for mental illness, trauma, medication, references to suicide, and the exquisite agony of life in rural new england. feel free to change wording and pronouns and provide context as necessary. do not add to this list.

northern attitude.

how you been?

you settled down?

you feelin’ right?

you feelin’ proud?

you settle in to routine.

what does it mean?

i’m not how you hoped.

you’re gettin’ lost.

scared to live, scared to die.

you’re feelin’ lost.

stick season.

you must’ve had yourself a change of heart.

now i am stuck between my anger and the blame that i can’t face.

it’s half my fault, but i just like to play the victim.

i’ll dream each night of some version of you that i might not have but i did not lose.

i thought that if i piled something good on all my bad i could cancel out the darkness i inherited from dad.

i miss the way you laugh.

you once called me forever now you still can’t call me back.

that’ll have to do.

my other half was you.

i hope this pain’s just passin’ through, but i doubt it.

all my love.

how have things been?

well, love, now that you mention it.

i’m sayin’ too much, but you know how it gets out here.

now i know your name, but not who you are.

it’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood.

you got all my love.

if you need me, dear, i’m the same as i was.

what i’d give to have you out of me.

i still recall how the leather in your car feels.

and at the end of it all, i just hope that your scars heal.

i swear i was scared to death.

i smiled stupid the whole way home.

you said, ‘i’ll never let you go.’

she calls me back.

there was heaven in your eyes.

everything’s alright.

look at me and don’t you lie.

don’t you hold your head up high.

for bullshit, i do not have time.

do you lie awake restless?

why am i so obsessive?

this town’s the same as you left it.

the radio is taunting me.

i don’t get much sleep most nights.

i’m seeing you in every dream.

if only i could fall asleep.

i’ll love you when the oceans dry.

i was too afraid of living life in your footsteps.

come over.

it was there when we got here, will be there when we leave.

you won’t have to guess who they’re speakin’ about.

i’m in the process of clearin’ out cobwebs.

i was takin’ the wrong meds; feels good to be sad.

my house is just barely big enough for my family.

my mouth was designed for my foot to fit in it.

i promise you, darlin’.

you won’t ever go back.

i know that it ain’t much.

i know that it ain’t cool.

you don’t have to tell the other kids at school.

someday i’m gonna be somebody people want.

new perspective.

makin’ me nostalgic.

we were kids; but that don’t make this less hard.

if i could fly i doubt i’d even do it.

i’d probably get high and crash or somethin’ stupid.

gave me your word.

i can’t pronounce it.

no thing so sure that i can’t learn to doubt it.

everywhere, everything.

would we survive in a horror movie?

we trust everyone we meet.

we’re littered with scars from our preteens.

i wanna love you ‘til we’re food for the worms to eat.

‘til our fingers decompose, keep my hand in yours.

i know every route in this county.

maybe that ain’t such a bad thing.

i’ll tell you where not to speed.

it’s been a long year.

orange juice.

honey, come over.

it’s yours if you want it.

we’re just glad you could visit.

feels like i’ve been ready for you to come home for so long.

i didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.

why’d you go?

my heart has changed and my soul has changed.

you just asked me to hold you.

it made you a stranger and it filled you with anger.

my life has changed.

the world has changed.

don’t you find it strange that you just went ahead and carried on?

are we all just pullin’ you down?

strawberry wine.

darling, speak to me.

don’t you say a word.

you thought you were cursed?

i’m in love with every song you’ve ever heard.

if i could lose you, i would.

all the time we used to have.

the things i miss but know are never coming back.

no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft.

growing sideways.

finally found some middle ground.

i said, ‘i’m cured.’

i divvied up my anger into thirty separate parts.

i’m still angry at my parents for what their parents did to them.

it’s a start.

but i ignore things and i move sideways ‘til i forget what i felt in the first place.

i know there are worse ways to stay alive.

everyone’s growing and everyone’s healthy.

if my engine works perfect on empty, i guess i’ll drive.

i forgot my medication, fell into a manic high.

now i’m sufferin’ in style.

why is pain so damn impatient? ain’t like it’s got a place to be.

if all my time was wasted, i don’t mind.

i’ll watch it go.

it’s better to die numb than feel it all.

halloween.

the dawn isn’t here, the sun hasn’t rose.

they got money to make and children back home.

i worry for you, you worry for me.

the bridges have long since been burnt.

i’m leavin’ this town and i’m changin’ my address.

i know that you’ll come if you want.

i’m losin’ myself.

i’m seein’ my life on a screen.

i know that you fear that i’m wicked and weary.

i know that you’re fearin’ the end.

i only tell the truth when i’m sure that i’m lyin’.

homesick.

are you bored yet?

the weather ain’t been bad if you’re into masochistic bullshit.

this place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move the fuck away from hibernation.

time moves so damn slow i swear i feel my organs failing.

i stopped caring ‘bout a month ago, since then it’s been smooth sailing.

i would leave if only i could find a reason.

i got dreams, but i cant make myself believe them.

i’ll spend the rest of my life with what could have been.

i will die in the house that i grew up in.

i’m homesick.

still.

i don’t wanna say goodbye.

it only falls into place when you’re fallin’ to pieces.

you miss something that you can’t place but you can’t deny it.

you can’t stay here.

it’s hard to face and it feels too ugly.

it’s like i’m still here with you.

can i fix what is broken?

the view between villages (extended).

for a minute, the world seems so simple.

i am not scared of death.

i’ve got dreams again.

there is meanin’ on earth.

i feel so far from it.

it’s all washin’ over me.

i’m angry again.

the things that i lost here, the people i knew.

they got me surrounded for a mile or two.

i found a town big enough for anything i want.

i’m not a city girl, by any means.

it still has a lot of meaning to me.

i grew up there.

your needs, my needs.

you ain’t gotta tell me what it means.

i promise to be there this time. alright?

you were a work of art.

that’s the hardest part.

i’m naming the stars in the sky after you.

dial drunk.

i promised to forget you.

i ain’t takin’ any fault.

am i half the man i used to be? i doubt it.

forget about it, whatever.

it’s all the same anyways.

i ain’t proud of all the punches that i’ve thrown.

for the shame of being young, drunk, and alone.

i gave your name as my emergency phone call.

i’d die for you.

from charmin’ to alarmin’ in seconds.

i’ll let the pain metastasize.

i beg you, sir, just let me call.

let’s wait, i swear she’ll call me back.

son, are you a danger to yourself?

fuck that, sir.

son, why do you do this to yourself?

paul revere.

this place had a heartbeat in its day.

nothin’ was the same.

it just ain’t that simple, it never was.

one day i’m gonna cut it clear.

i’m not from around here.

i’ll leave before the road crew’s out.

i’ll turn up the music and i’ll forget.

i’m not ready to let go yet.

i’ll just pretend i didn’t hear.

it’s typical, i fear.

folks just disappear.

if i could leave, i would’ve already left.

no complaints.

i thought i had something and that’s the same as having something.

i get mad at nothing.

i pull no punches, then feel bad for months.

thought i was raised better, tried to fake better.

now the weight of the world ain’t so bad.

i saw the end, it looks just like the middle.

i filled the hole in my head with prescription medication.

who am i to complain?

now the pain’s different. It still exists, it just escapes different.

yes, i’m young and living dreams.

i’m in love with being noticed and afraid of being seen.

call your mom.

oh, you’re spiralin’ again.

don’t you cancel any plans.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you let it out and let it in.

don’t let this darkness fool you.

i’ll drive all night.

i’ll call your mom.

oh, dear, don’t be discouraged.

i’ve been exactly where you are.

if you could see yourself like this.

you’dve never tried it.

stayed on the line with you the entire night ‘til you told me that you had to go.

throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.

don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’.

won’t you stay with me?

you’re gonna go far.

this is good land, or at least it was.

it takes a strong hand and a sound mind.

it makes me smile to know when things get hard, you’ll be far from here.

pack up your car.

put a hand to your heart.

say whatever you feel.

be wherever you are.

we ain’t angry at you, love.

you’re the greatest thing we’ve lost.

the birds will still sing.

we’ll be waiting for you, love.

we’ll all be here forever.

we spent so long just getting by.

that’s the thing about survival; who the hell likes livin’ just to die?

you told me you would make a difference.

it won’t be by your own volition if you step foot outside this town.

it’s all we’ve had for always.

you’re gonna go far.

if you wanna go far, then you gotta go far.

forever.

let’s drive for no reason.

you look fine in the evening.

honey, it’s starting to storm.

used to wish i meant anything to anywhere, to anyone.

i’m glad i get forever to see where you end.

i won’t be alone for the rest of my life.

i’ll meet a girl in the heat of july.

i’ll tell her so she knows.

i’m broke, but i’m real rich in my head.

when i hold her close, i might loosen my grip, but i won’t ever let her go.

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tio-trile · 9 months

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Did you hate the season 2 finale? Are you still looking forward for season 3 because of it or are you turned off of looking forward for any tv show good omens from now on?

What season 2 finale? Good Omens has never been adapted into a TV show. I love the book tho!

#I'm craaaaaaazzzzyyyyyyy ahahahahahahahaha #In seriousness to answer your question #Of course I hated it! Every book fan I know hated it!#The past few days has really sucked with miscellaneous Good Omens and also work stuff and it's just shit it's shit it's shit #I hope season 3 never happen now! I think it'll be hilarious that this is the final ending that show fans get :D #All my friends have been getting my full rant for the past few days #Anyways that was so bad and OOC I've been avoiding Tumblr for the past few days #Because every time I came on I have to fight back the strong urge to delete all my show Omens art #And I've promised myself I wouldn't delete my art under any circumstances before because I used to hate when artists I like did that #Anyways I'm not gonna delete art. But I probably wouldn't post anything Show Omens related from now on. Unfollow me if you want #good omens critical

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running-in-the-dark · 1 month

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okay I've been working on this damn painting for approximately five million years so I need to show you guys what it looks like right now to get scared enough that I don't stop before it's done (sharing things is scary, sharing unfinished bad bad bad things is so much scarier so I need to at least add the finished painting in the end so I don't die of shame)

so there he is. Jenkins making a 🤨 face.

yes he's missing a hand, yes I've had to paint over those damn suspenders a bunch of times, yes the desk in the background is just ?? but. that's what it looks like right now 🙃

#I like the face #it's not done. but it looks. maybe recognisable? possibly? idk #but everything else makes me want to rip my own eyes out :)#anyway going to bed immediately because ugh this is gross #and I'm bad at everything #(I'm not saying that to get compliments or some shit I'm just genuinely not well. in case that wasn't clear.)#personal #the jenkins painting #tagging so I hopefully find this post again when I finish it in five years or whatever #ha. as if that's ever gonna happen #my art #my art (in progress)

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angele-midnight · 19 days

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Why are so many people on Tumblr/Twitter claiming Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are bad shows??? "They're not mid shows guys they're just bad" can y'all give me one concrete reason they're bad besides debunked "controversies" or things that other people told you were bad about em?

Like I'm halfway convinced all of these people claiming these are such bad shows and are annoyed about em haven't actually watched them - "I don't need to watch a show to know it's bad" pretty sure you do if you want to have an informed opinion, that goes for everything actually.

If you're annoyed by the hype and the fan culture?? That's fine we all got our things but that doesn't make the shows themselves bad I think y'all just like having someone to poke fun of without feeling like a bully and honestly?? That seems like a miserable way to live.

#This is specifically about that mid shows post going around #What other people like and consider good/bad/mid is none of your business and not a reason to make fun of them #Y'all think you're being SO progressive and kind when you're still being cruel to people online for the smallest shit #You don't like it?? Don't interact with it just block and move on #You curate your own internet experience it's not that hard #I don't like rwby or one piece and those come up on my dash all the time it's so easy to ignore and move on #I don't call those shows bad because surprise! I've never seen them so I don't know!#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #Y'all claim cringe culture is dead but still mock people who like “cringy” stuff like any of this is gonna matter in five years #And mark my words I'm gonna get called cringe or some shit for this post #When y'all should be thinking about why you take joy from calling people shit on the internet like it's gonna make you happy #Years long mutuals of mine are even jumping on the mockery bandwagon!! I've followed y'all for almost a decade what is going on

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front-facing-pokemon · 9 months

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#tropius #HE SO APPY!!! FUCK!!! HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS ONE #i've never looked at tropius up close before i didn't even know they had a little helmet and shit. this is WONDERFUL. they're SO appy #i hope you all appreciate this as much as i do because this is very good. i don't even know anything about tropius. jack SHIT. except that #they're so appy. and i will accept this. i gotta work but i've been too busy thinking abt how appy they are #i also started the process of remaking my main blog. bc it just had a lot of posts on it all the way back to way back in my past #and i felt like it was weighing the whole blog down and making me not want to use it. and that blog needed some housekeeping for me to want #to associate myself with it. so i'm currently in the process of coming up with a new URL before i start really renovating #so the hunt for miss ffp starts anew or something. unless i've lazily replied to you in a comment once and you remember my url #i've done that to a few of you. demifiendcruithne is one. shoutouts to you demifiendcruithne you're the best #then there was that one who assumed i use windows. despite recognizing that i'm “rather techy.” yuck!#had to respond to that one to clear up any suspicion that i might be a windows user. this is all totally unrelated and also will be #totally irrelevant by the time this post gets up anyway. hopefully. y'know if i haven't come up with a new url by then then #i mean. that's my fault. but this isn't gonna post until july 23rd. 10 days from today. so. hopefully!#see you all then

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raiiny-bay · 2 months

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new character page wip

#i edited the shit out of this code ngl #idk what i'm gonna put under the music section yet #the picture is just a place holder #i definitely like this layout better. not looking forward to having to do new pictures of everyone. again.#i'm also rewriting everyone's bios. again. bc i want them to reflect their current selves more #rn they're like a weird mix of their canon & post-canon selves & they just don't feel very. cohesive. ig #like. most of my edits take place in post-canon so i think their pages should match that?#they're not accurate to the versions of them that i share on here. that's what i mean #mm i just confused myself trying to think about it #ok. i'm gonna go have lunch & then i guess i'll write or something #i had something else i was gonna say but i forgot lol #rainyrambles

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markantonys · 7 days

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i want the show gang to be better at telling each other things than the book gang, but with one exception.

so, in the books, elayne spends several months at the white tower with egwene and gawyn, so she is probably aware that there's a crush brewing (at least on gawyn's side if not also egwene's, depending on whether we want to ignore the Early Series Weirdness of her crush on galad which is later semi-retconned lmao) because i just know that elayne would be very observant about things like that (unlike egwene completely missing everything to do with avirand while traveling with them for months bless her heart).

but in the show, depending on how things are reshuffled, elayne might not be around whenever and wherever egwene and gawyn first meet. she might not be around for ANY of the times they're interacting.

and i just think it would be funny if egwene and gawyn both refuse to or forget to confide in elayne about their love lives and elayne rolls up to the last battle and sees them together and it's like "oh hey! egwene, i didn't know you knew my brother" "yeah he's my husband actually" "what the FUCK"

#i'm sure there will be some good ol' TAR Love Life Gossiping in the show and so elayne would be in the loop and this wouldn't happen #but it would be funny if it did #i just love the idea of egwene and gawyn both being like 'elayne is nosy as fuck i'm not telling her shit about my personal business'#that post that's like 'aren't people embarrassed at their weddings? i'd be so embarrassed at everyone listening to me talk about #how much i love the other person. i'm gonna turn to them and say why don't you all mind your own business'#that is very gawene-core to me #gawene #wot #wot book spoilers

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eskawrites · 2 months

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i sat down to write and, well, i, um. tenlark.

It takes Moss a while to speak with them again.

There are the initial conversations, of course. The way she sobbed out apologies as Tenar took her into her arms and hugged her fiercely. The confessions that came from a bed in the ward as healers and mages took turns examining her, making sure both her body and her mind would remain free of infection.

But then there was silence. Her entire being muted as she trudged through the castle halls with them, going through the motions, the now-routine agenda that followed a war. Check in with the staff at the ward. Rebuild the cobbled streets and castle walls that were torn down in the attack. Organize aid to the outer villages, open halls to house and feed the citizens whose livelihoods became collateral damage. Meetings and orders and days upon days spent lending a helping hand.

Except people shied away from Moss’s help. Most wouldn’t even approach her unless she was standing beside the rest of them. So she stood silently in the background, head bowed, helping Lark and Tenar and Arren and Ged so they could help the others. And at the end of each day, she slinks off alone, shoulders hunched as she drifts off into the shadows of the castle.

But the last time Lark left her alone for too long, she’d been taken from them. So she follows Moss, pesters her with her near-constant presence and her weak attempts at lightening the mood. It doesn’t matter. Moss knows why she lingers, and so she lets her stay. They still don’t speak, but they spend the long hours of the night lying on blankets they’ve piled in front of the hearth. Lark listens to Moss’s breathing and watches the glow of the fire dance across the ceiling, pretending like she’s looking up at a canopy of leaves and a starry sky, as if everything was that simple again.

Ged is stressed.

It’s not unusual for him. He deals with nerves by burying himself in the library, foregoing sleep and food and drink in favor of research. So when the mages start to whisper of him staying at his desk for days on end, no one is particularly surprised.

What’s surprising is the anger.

“I’m not angry,” he says when Lark gives him a questioning look after he slams a tome onto the table they’ve been sitting at.

“Call it what you want, Ged, but that,” she gestures to his face—the furrow in his brow, the shadows beneath his eyes, the clench of his jaw that looks so out of place on him, “is not the look of a kid who is at peace.”

“I’m not a kid,” he snaps.

“Right. And definitely not angry, either.”

“You don’t get to patronize me, Lark. After everything else, don’t sit there and act like I have no right to be—and definitely don’t act like I’m some dumb kid who doesn’t—just don’t, okay?”

Lark bites her cheek, hard. Ged isn’t looking at her. He crosses his arms over his chest and turns away, giving her a moment to swallow the heated retort that springs to mind first. She breathes instead.

Ged isn’t angry. He gets it from Arren, she knows, but even Arren has his moods.

Maybe Ged is simply overdue.

“You’re not a kid anymore,” she says. She aims for gentle, but exhaustion seeps into her tone instead. It’s better than something mean, at least. “And you’ve never been a dumb kid. We both know that.”

“No, I’m not. But all of you act like—like I’m just here to do everything, to handle everything. Like I can just help save the day and move on like none of it happened!”

She frowns. “No one expects that, Ged.”

“Don’t you? Because you—and after everything, you all just keep—I saw you die, Lark, do you realize that? I watched you get thrown from that tower, and I thought you were dead.”

“That was years ago—”

“And this time—Tenar, she just—you weren’t there when she was fighting Vecna. None of you were, I had to protect her, and she just kept putting herself in danger, willingly—”

“Ged—”

“She was trying to destroy herself!” He spins around, finally facing her. “Do you even know what that felt like? She would have killed herself to stop him, and I had to sit there and let her while also trying to keep her alive! And I didn’t know if you and Arren had found Moss, and I didn’t know if we could get her back even if you found her, and I didn’t know if we would win or what would happen if I did let Tenar die and—and—”

He cuts off in a sob as Lark pulls him close. She hugs him tight, keeping him upright as he trembles against her.

“I’m tired, Lark,” Arren whispers late one night, sitting out on the balcony of his room and staring up at the sky.

Me too, she doesn’t say. She sighs and scoots closer, offering her shoulder for him to slump against. He does, like she knew he would. She lifts her hand and runs her fingers through his hair.

“We’re getting through it,” she says. “It’s hard, and it hurts, but we’ll make it.”

“Since when did you become the optimist?” His voice shakes, and she wraps her arms fully around him, squeezing him gently and letting him know it’s okay to let go, with her.

But she doesn’t answer his question. She’s not, really. It’s just that…someone has to be.

“Lark.”

Lark sits up a little taller at the sound of Tenar’s voice. Even in the dark, even calling so gently, all the edge softened by the shadows cast by the lanterns lighting the armory, it compels her to attention. But when she turns, Tenar’s expression is just as soft, bidding her to relax again.

“Your Highness,” Lark says anyway. Tenar’s smile turns wry.

“Don’t do that,” she says as she crosses the room. She comes up behind Lark, placing her hands on her shoulders and peering over her head at the arrows scattered across the table. “You give our fletcher a run for his money.”

Lark snorts. “Hardly. My shoddy, self-taught work is only passable at the best of times.”

Tenar reaches around her and picks one of the arrows up. She twists it between her fingers, inspecting the fletching. It’s uniform enough—Lark can admit that much; she’s never made an arrow that won’t fly true—but it’s far from pretty work.

“I’d say it’s impressive, given that you haven’t slept in a day and a half.”

“Have you hired someone to tail me, Princess?”

Tenar lifts her free hand to Lark’s hair and gives it a gentle tug. Lark huffs, not sure if it’s a sigh or a laugh.

“Sorry,” she says anyway. Tenar hums and shifts her hand to run her fingers gently through Lark’s hair.

“To answer your question, no. It would be a waste of gold—I pay too much attention to you myself.”

It makes her cheeks flush. Years of falling for Tenar, and weeks, now, of being caught by her, and she still doesn’t know what to do with this affection.

Tenar sets the arrow back down and brings her other hand to her hair. Lark closes her eyes and tilts her head back into the touch. The sigh is involuntary, and she would be embarrassed if Tenar’s soft laugh didn’t follow it.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” Tenar whispers.

“Of course.”

“No,” she says gently. “Not of course. Only if it pleases you.”

“Whatever you want of me, I will do it.”

“Oh, I know.”

She feels lips against her hairline, and then Tenar is moving. Lark opens her eyes to see her walking around her chair and hopping up onto the table. She reaches out, and Lark gives her her hand without hesitation.

“You do whatever any of us ask, without hesitation.” Tenar cradles Lark’s hand in hers, running her fingers over her palm. Lark shivers. “You took on the entire kingdom without question, and you hadn’t even realized that’s what I was asking.”

“I gave you an earful when you woke.”

“You did, but it was mostly for show.” Tenar’s smile turns mischievous for just a second before she softens again. “When’s the last time you let yourself rest, Lark?”

Lark feels bare under her gaze. She swallows. “You already know, apparently. A day and a half? Perhaps a little longer?”

Tenar shakes her head. “No. I mean, when is the last time you let one of us carry you?”

She drops her gaze. “I’m dealing with it, the same as everyone else.”

“You don’t have to handle it all.” She rubs her thumb across Lark’s palm, firm and soothing. “You’ve carried so much responsibility this entire time, and we needed it. But you can let it go now.”

“And give it to you?” Lark asks. “You’ve dealt with just as much. Don’t scold me for being stubborn and then do the same thing yourself.”

“Then let me carry it with you,” Tenar says softly. “And carry mine with me. We’re in this together, Lark. We always have been.”

Lark sighs. She slumps forward in her chair. Tenar runs her hand over her hair again.

“Is this the favor?” she asks. Tenar’s nails scratch gently at her scalp.

“No. Not tonight, at least. Tonight, I have a more short-term goal.”

“Oh?” She sits up again to look at her.

“Spend the night with me.”

Lark gives a soft, short laugh. “How is that a favor?”

“Make no mistake, I’m asking for my own benefit here, perhaps even more so than yours. I…I’ve missed you these past few weeks, Lark.” She lets go of Lark’s hand long enough to tuck a piece of hair behind her ears, shy and uncertain in a way Lark forgets still exists, sometimes. “You know, the night before we lost Moss, I…I had been looking for you.”

“Why?” Lark breathes.

“Because…” She smiles down at their hands, the tips of her ears turning pink. “Because of this.”

It shatters her. It steals her breath away. It makes her want to cry, stupidly. Lark leans forward to take Tenar’s hands in her own.

“Tenar…”

“I fear, sometimes, that we can still lose everything. And I fear it more when I’m lying awake and wishing you were there with me.” She looks up again. “So please, Lark, come to bed. Let me feel safer with you there. And let me—” She brings their hands to her lips, kissing Lark’s knuckles, “let me make you feel safe, too.”

Her eyes sting, and she knows Tenar sees it. She swallows hard and says, “I don’t want to burden you.”

“What if I want your burden?”

Lark has no clue what she’s supposed to say to that, so she doesn’t. Tenar doesn’t make her. She just slides off the table, tugging Lark’s hands to pull her up and along.

Lark doesn’t acknowledge the walk through the castle. She doesn’t pay much attention to anything but Tenar as she leads them to her room, and then to her bed, and then under the covers and into her arms. It’s only there, wrapped in the warmth of her embrace, that Lark realizes how cold she was. She shivers, and Tenar holds her tightly, fiercely.

“I worry,” Lark whispers into the dark, even as she brings her arms up to wrap around Tenar. “I worry that it will never be over. That we’ll never truly have peace.”

“I do, too,” Tenar breathes.

“How do you hold on, then? Why do we keep trying when—when—”

“Hey,” she breathes, bringing her hand up to cup Lark’s cheek, cutting her off.

Lark looks at her, feeling loss and fear and despair echo in the meager space between them. But then Tenar leans forward, and it melts away, all of it, at the first brush of their lips. The tightness in her chest loosens, and she lets it spread through her. Lets herself unravel, for a moment, in Tenar’s arms.

“This,” Tenar says when they part. She presses her forehead to Lark’s. “Because of this.”

Lark closes her eyes. She can’t keep the tears back this time—especially not when Tenar brushes them away, kisses her cheeks and her brow and the tip of her nose. But what she can do is hold on. What she can do is nod, even as she cries. What she can do—what she hasn’t been able to do since the night she found Tenar dying on that balcony—is believe, finally, that they’ll be okay.

#tenlark #erathia #i was GONNA write lethal company au #and then i wrote 2k words of post erathia 4 softness #featuring lore that i'm really not sure exists outside me and sweepy's dms lmao #i think my problem is i'm trying to write this intense space survival but in my heart of hearts i just want softness #so shit like this keeps happening #have some tenlark i guess!#i've lost control of my life!

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