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kinktae · 4 years

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beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !)

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ )

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?” IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

#beyond the story #bts smut #Jungkook smut #bts jungkook #bts #bts imagines #bts preferences #Jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook

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zuzuslastbraincell · 3 years

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mai & the rest of the gaang:

mai & aang: a bit awkward, at first? not on aang's end of course, he's totally unflustered and in fact quite keen to get to know zuko's girlfriend and I actually think mai doesn't know what to do with this attitude, given she spent six months or so trying to hunt him down, and that's very present in her mind. hanging out with aang is a very pleasant culture shock in how he casually diaregards half the norms she was raised to strictly follow, speaking with warm enthusiasm and genuine curiosity to all, be they dish washers or tea servers or the Fire Lord's girlfriend, disregarding barriers of social class that are so carefully upheld in the Fire Nation. It's refreshing as it is bewildering. I think mai does develop a fondness for aang - although she can find him and his antics a bit much at times - and deeply respects and cares for him if only for how valued his friendship with zuko is. she claims to tolerate his goofy antics but she enjoys them far more than she lets on (his flying marble trick does elicit a rare smile, although it only appears for 0.02 seconds before returning to the most deadpan expression). I think mai respects him most politically actually - aang grows up to be an excellent diplomat, an excellent mediator who does not lose sight of the importance of various different perspectives, especially those who are forgotten or maligned, even when in circles of power.

mai & sokka: as discussed, they have a rocky start. sokka, my darling beloved sokka, has a tendency to be a bit abrasive, if we're honest, in that his humour and his puns are a little in-your-face, he has a bit of an ego aboht being the funniest/smartest person in the room, and he can take it personally when people don't like it. mai doesn't have much time for that. mai doesn't care much for sokka's jokes if only because they're attached to this ego, but also and finds the puns a bit flat (whereas she finds aang's mischief making genuinely funny, though she tries to hide it), and sokka takes this deeply personally and tries really hard to elicit a laugh from her. this just ends up with him aggravating her more. I think mai has little time for sensitive male ego games and that's partially why her and sokka clash- she won't blunt herself for him, even if he is one of zuko's closest friends. I think sokka, to his credit, doesn't dismiss her as a 'bitch' and keeps trying - in fact, the reason he comes on so strong is because he actually really wants her to like her - and i think that's because of boiling rock, and because of that alone sokka deeply respects mai on many levels (and was extremely surprised by how all that played out, and knows from that alone that mai is a layered and complex person who contains multitudes). I think what might cause mai to warm to him is politics - sokka's a pragmatist, who is skeptical of idealism without material backing and is refreshingly realistic for one of aang's friends. he keeps the fire nation on its toes at the negotiating table but he's also the first to point out when a potential proposition - when anyone's potential proposition - has more logical holes than a piece of honeycomb. i think mai appreciates that perspective. and i think they could slowly and gradually go from personality clashing to building this begrudging friendship where mai will never openly admit that she likes him, where sokka will still grate but in a way that becomes almost familiar and comfortable because of that, and where - especially in a situation where they have to work on a project together - they're a formidable team. a difficult friendship but eventually could be a dear one.

mai & katara: another personality clash that becomes a really fascinating friendship. katara wasn't there for boiling rock and is perhaps a bit cool towards mai even understanding what she did there, and the grounds where they most often meet is politics, and they largely are at odds there too. they're interesting parallels, in terms of role - both partners of powerful world leaders, but while mai positions herself as a vital support and power behind zuko's regime, furthering that goal, katara loathes to be associated with aang simply because of their romantic relationship, and does not envision their relationship to be a political one: aang and katara stand independent, but with shared values and goals (and perhaps katara simply does not understand why mai takes the position she does regarding politics and relationships). their actual political approach wildly differs, with katara being an impassioned idealist who is the most radical out of the gaang, whereas mai is a pragmatist - much more concerned about the feasibility of the radical ideas proposed and sees herself occupying the role of a much needed skeptic who asks 'okay, but how are we going to do this?' in a group of radicals. this does lead to some fierce clashes actually - some of katara's proposals appear outlandish to mai, and katara interprets this as fire nation indoctrination and ideological conditioning limiting her perspective (and honestly neither are completely wrong - mai can be on occasion perhaps too conservative and cynical and that is often because her upbringing has limited her scope, and katara sometimes isn't fully aware of how feasible her ideas are and leaves practical concerns to others). I think despite this they have such a deep respect for each other - and that's in part why their arguments are so impassioned, because they both fundamentally know the other comes from a good place. mai saved katara's brother's life at boiling rock, and katara saved mai's partner during the final agni kai - they have both proven to each other the extent of their commitment and cared for another they care about deeply. they're the biggest idealism vs. cynicism clash but honestly over time i think the respect only grows over time despite periods of hot and cold. I'd like to think if katara ever has relationship difficulties with aang, after her gran's, it's mai whose advice she might respect the most - after all, it's mai who understands what it's like to date someone who is a world leader, and mai absolutely believes in having firm, healthy boundaries and little tolerance for sufferring for men in relationships. I think given their positions they're often in dialogue and in conversation and end up building the most unexpected but also rock solid friendship. they *would* take a bullet for each other, i am sure of it.

mai & toph: i love these two. an incredible friendship. mai takes to toph the quickest out of aang's friends. it makes sense - toph comes from a similar class and upbringing as mai, albeit has taken a different life path and expresses herself completely differently, and i think while surprised and thrown at first by toph's bluntness, mai sees that and not only respects but honestly just loves how toph is a little crass, and doesn't hold decorum as the be all and end all. I think the age difference here actually makes a difference - mai very much sees toph as a younger peer (and eventually, much like zuko, a younger sibling), and while it can be sad to see someone from a younger generation express themselves freely in a way that mai feel she can't, i think her joy at seeing that takes precedence here over any mixed feelings. mai pretends not to be amused at toph's antics (but quietly delights at them) and absolutely is the person who will get the authorities that be in the fire nation to look away from whatever misdemeanours she's committing at any given time (indeed, mai as often been a partner in crime - actually, speaking of, she's been surprised before to see katara also partake with toph, and it was an ice-breaking moment for them, probably one engineered by toph). that said, mai absolutely does not patronise toph, gives it to her straight, will also tell toph when she's going too far or pushing the limit, something toph deeply respects and values. mai can see toph's wisdom and her strong intuitive understanding of how others feel, and admires that, as well as the kindness toph shows (i would not be surprised if mai looks at toph and wants to be a little more like her). I also think mai's sardonic and biting sense of humour is best appreciated by toph out of aang's friends (sokka also finds it very funny, but sokka is also trying hard to get mai to like him, as aforementioned). mai and toph vibe together *so hard* and *so well* (something i think zuko is quietly deeply grateful for, since mai hasn't clicked as well with the rest of the gaang, but also because he views toph like a little sister too).

mai & suki: right! so this one is complicated. mai does not see suki as often as the rest of the gaang - she sees katara and aang often for political reasons, at summits and keets and so on, sokka keeps in touch often and is constantly sending letters, and toph will just turn up unannounced and will stay for several weeks to "relandscape" the fire nation gardens (so she claims) every year or so. I am sticking to show canon here but reject the comics canon - there is no way in hell suki ends up as a bodyguard for zuko, the kyoshi warriors have better things to be doing. so! while mai absolutely saved the teal at boiling rock and suki knows this, the fact that they see each other relatively little mean things are a bit... cool between them? Not quite cold, but there's a degree of awkwardness that mai works past with the others that takes longer with suki. I honestly don't know if suki knows how she should feel about mai? like ty lee not only helped at boiling rock but then went on to work with the warriors and suki very much sees someone who wants to prove herself and right those wrongs in ty lee (as well as someone who is running away but. that's another post). mai completed step 1 and 2 with boiling rock, but hasn't... done anything after that. and on paper they're cool and she knows it but... idk if she knows how to feel? it's a bit weird. a bit awkward and weird. it's possible suki holds more of a grudge than she's willing to admit (she's been most directly wronged by mai and ty lee after all) and the fact that mai has returned to the fire nation, and been, according to katara, disappointingly conservative at times, makes her question what boiling rock meant. suki is cordial and professional around mai but doesn't really know her that well and doesn't trust her as much as the others. mai doesn't particularly care either way and will take or leave friendship with suki (though mai, to be clear, does respect suki immensely as a warrior). the key factor here is ty lee, honestly. i think the two of them could have an excellent relationship if so inclined but it would apmost definitely be due to ty lee trying to prod them into getting along and hanging out and getting to know each other - because i think they're both practical minded, no-nonsense girls who are exceptionally skilled in martial arts and if nothing else they could bond theough sparring sessions, but i think they'd also just get along splendidly if they had the chance. suki just doesn't quite trust mai and mai making those personal amends isn't a priority when she's trying to stop zuko running the fire nation into the ground.

#mai #aang #sokka #katara #toph #suki #this is SO long but please appreciate it

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littlejanesilver · 3 years

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The Human Experience (now with paragraph breaks!)

I know it’s not a popular ideology to have right now, because so much we see in the news appears to speak against it, but I think humans are basically an altruistic, cooperative species— with a few caveats. So many of our problems arise out of the fundamental mismatch between the world our species evolved to live in and the world we live in today. Empathy is a natural feature of the human experience. We teach our children positive prosocial behaviours like sharing their food and caring for others who are sick or hurt. We survive and build through cooperative behaviour. Kindness is instinctual and the instinct is reinforced through proper socialization. I’ve seen it in my children before they could even speak, trying to offer a pat on the back or comfort to a crying sibling. Normal, socialized humans feel physical and mental distress in ourselves when we see others in distress and are eager to alleviate it. The thing is human altruism, like that of other primates who live and hunt in groups is usually predicated on face to face personal relationships. It makes sense to share with others in your group when you have more than enough, because someday when they have more than enough they will be more likely to share with your. In humanity the ability to cooperate has been positively selected for through million of years of evolution. It makes sense that over the comparatively long human life span, where you might live in a tribe of 60 people, you would encounter the same members of your tribe over and over again and your prosocial actions would be remembered and influence their prosocial actions towards you further down the line. Our big brains are good for remembering and keeping score. Not to mention in such an environment, you would also probably be somewhat genetically related to your tribe-mates so helping your family members and tribe-mates survive also enhances the survival of your own genes. Among surviving hunter gatherer tribes it would be consider insane for one member to horde all the food while other members of the tribe starve. A person could be excluded from the group for behaviour like that and a human without other humans in nature does not survive for long. Being exiled from one’s tribe is a fate most will do anything to prevent. Also, in the hunter gatherer world, where people are nomadic, having a huge amount of one substance doesn’t make a lot of sense, because you can only own what you can carry with you. There are also no refrigerators, so if you have more food than you need, whatever you don’t eat will rot quickly. Human life in the prehistoric world could be extremely harsh. Few infants survived and giving birth was highly precarious. But when a member of your tribe was in distress, even without modern medicines you still had something you could do and that was offer comfort, through a hug, or helping with a task or offering food. In the world we live in now the instinct to share is sometimes short-circuited. Holding resources has been facilitated by inventions like fridges and silos to keep grain. People decide to keep resources to themselves and their families, because they often don’t see or can’t relate to the people their greed is harming. Executives of large companies never have to see their employees face to face, they don’t grow up with the people they employ (who nowadays may live in another country entirely), and there is no consequence to them for causing others to experience distress. Also there are so many thousands of employees that they become theoretical to the executives, rather than real flesh and blood people they have to live with on a day to day basis who will confront you if you treat themselves shitty and treat you badly right back. Also, if say a factory in another country is mistreating its workers and the factory makes clothes for your company (as well as other companies), there are so many culprits in the problem, front he managers of the factory itself, to the country it is in that allows lax labour laws, to the many companies that have this

factory make clothes for them, to the country the company is located in that makes it more worthwhile for them to hire foreign companies to make their clothes— that the individual executive sitting in an office somewhere is so far removed and their contribution is so diffuse among the many others in the process that he or she feels no shame. More importantly, that executives social group is unlikely to include members of the exploited class, so they will never be publicly shamed or held accountable in a social setting, which, let’s face it, is what keeps most of us honest, when the temptation to take more than our share is strong. The instinct to display compassion and show care for others, is also challenged in certain ways in a modern context. The instinct to display empathy and compassion is strongest for family members and extends to other tribe-mates in a healthy human being, across all cultures and settings. If you saw a loved one crying, you would naturally go up to them and put an arm around their shoulder and ask how you could help. The distress you feel at seeing another person in distress, would reduce, once you could offer them comfort. Feeling an arm around their shoulders, experiencing comforting touch also would help elevate your loved ones feelings of distress. As much as we hate feeling pain or distress, in us and seeing it in others, experiences like this help bond us to those we love. When a friend supports you through a tough time it can cause your friendship to deepen. It feels like a blessing to be able to offer them the same strength they offered you in return at a latter date. When I a can offer a listening ear to a friend’s complaint or be able to offer a pair of arms to hold a loved one who is crying, I feel the most human. Being together in this way with others, knowing that they are feeling what you are feeling and sharing in a moment, whether listening to music or experiencing a film together is so special and so inherently human. It is hard to explain, but there is a positive feeling that comes from when one is acting in accordance with one’s animal nature. The naturalness and lack of push-back your brain is giving you— like when you have really good sex or do a refreshing (not exhausting) physical workout that pushes you a bit, or stare in wonder at something in nature— this sense of doing what you were made for— what is most natural and human feels so wonderful and liberating. I feel that when I am concocting stories sometimes, this ability to be in the moment and intensely aware of what I am doing, fully experiencing it without being distracted by other worries or things going on in my mind. The problem as I see it is that we see so much distress around us that is taking place far away, across the globe and we can see the people’s faces in pain, but we have no ability to take that pain away or even offer the basic comfort our ape ancestors could, such as an arm around the shoulder or the offer of half a fruit. We can’t give them anything. Maybe we can donate money to an earthquake fund or something, but who knows if that money will even reach them and it won’t effect that specific person you see right now, on your screen. Maybe we don’t even have enough money to give a dollar to an earthquake fund and maybe the government of the country that suffering person is living in, is causing their suffering because it refuses offers from the international community to help (see North Korea). What do people do when they are constantly faced with the reality of thousands of people suffering who we can’t do anything to help? We evolved to deal with one or two people in our tribe suffering every once and a while. We evolved to feel pain ourselves at the suffering of someone and to be able to stop that pain by offering the other person comfort. But when you can’t offer meaningful, immediate comfort to another person in a personal way either through physical means or through helpful speech, what are you left with? For some people I feel like the result is a constant low-grade

(or sometimes high grade) anxiety, traumatic stress and depression. The tidal wave of suffering feels so great you are mentally drowning in it if you are the kind of person who experiences empathy for others very strongly. You might be motivated to participate in charities and social justice causes, but all the time, the satisfaction that should come from helping people is out of reach, the anxiety and sadness at other’s distress is still there because no matter what you do, with so many people in the world now, and with news from all corners of the globe constantly in our faces at every moment of the day, you just can’t help everyone. It isn’t possible. Long ago you would only be cognizant of the problems of people in your own little tribe. Dealing with their problems would be mentally manageable and might even benefit you and the other person and strengthen your relationships. Dealing with this tidal wave of billions of people’s problems is unmanageable and hugely distressing. We were not born with the mental equipment to deal with this and it is a huge problem. Avoiding it, in certain societies, to help lessen your stress is not even possible. Everywhere you look, TV screens, radios and newspapers are blaring the death tolls of the most recent atrocity. This media diet distorts your perception, because when all you hear about are huge horrific events, the regular day to day repetitive actions that occupy most of what people are doing all over the world, like today Soorya milked a goat or Bob picked his toddler up from daycare don’t make the news. Some day, I think the world will have to reckon with the mental health problems that this constant media diet of negative and fearful imagery causes humans who have no means to influence the distressing things that are mentioned. Obviously, it is important to know what is happening in the world in some sense, to hold governments accountable when they act in ways that harm people. However part of the problem is even when we see that unfairness is happening we don’t have the tools to help stop it or a deeper understanding of why problems are occurring and how we can help is left out of the reporting. This makes people feel helpless and out of control and it doesn’t help the people who are suffering in the end. Some people are able to deal with this constant exposure to suffering that we can’t help, through selectively turning their compassion and empathy faculties on and off. As someone who can’t do this on my own, I am constantly astounded to witness other people do this. Part of me is slightly jealous of this ability while part of me is highly suspicious of it. People who can do this, I’ve noticed can also be very reckless with others emotions if they believe a relationship with that other person doesn’t forward their own goals. There is something that feels lacking to me about a human that can operate in such a ruthless capacity, but these are also people who seem able to have a lot of success because their mental processes are so efficient with regards to empathy. People can often show great love and compassion for their family and friends, but have little to no compassion for people outside the group they qualify as their “tribe.” How modern people define tribe, as people who share the same religion, community, fan base, sexuality, ethnicity or even as narrowly as their own nuclear family can vary. But I would say the majority of humans display this ability to switch their empathy on and off depending on whether someone is considered part of their tribe or not. This is also, sad to say, a very human quality. In a world where your tribe was your survival, outside tribes who might steal your resources, or kill or steal members of your tribe were far more dangerous than wild beasts you might encounter. I was bullied pretty harshly as a kid and I still maintain that the whole in-group/out-group dialectic that is such a part of human experience is one of the ugliest facets of human nature there is. Most disturbing of all, it is not contrary to human

nature, as most anti-social behaviours seem to be coded as, but is often seen as positive with no social costs in-group. A person who shows altruism and fealty to their own group can show the worst sadism and cruelty to out-group members without the corresponding social penalties they would face if they were to behave the same way in their own group. There is a reason in the Torah there are numerous directives “to love the stranger as yourself” and to “be kind to the stranger” and other lessons about hospitality to people who aren’t from your town because they might be (in Abraham’s case) angelic messengers. If everybody treated strangers and out group members the same as they treated their family members there wouldn’t be so much advice about showing hospitality to those unlike ourselves. The instinct of “stranger danger” is high in human beings and starts before we can talk. Studies done with pre-verbal human infants show that when confronted with two different strangers, one who speaks their own language and one who talks a different language, the infants shunned the foreign language speaking individual more than the person who talked their own language, even if they couldn’t talk or even fully understand that language yet themselves! The corresponding instinct of curiosity in some of us and eagerness to find out and know about something outside our own experience is thankfully, a good check to the stranger-danger feeling in some of us. Sadly, the stranger-danger instinct can get stronger as people get older and lose some of their mental flexibility and the world also changes a lot from the world they grew up in. If you aren’t mindful of that tendency of the human brain, then you can get caught up in thinking that all the changes are bad and threatening and feel fearful and angry at the world as you get older. Also, the more adverse experiences you have with other people, the more they seem to trail after you as you get older, colouring your ability to trust others and harming your interpersonal relationships if you’re not careful. While it may be more mentally healthy to only extend your empathy to members of your own group, feel like society as a whole suffers tremendously when we do this. We don’t live in isolated tribes anymore. Even if the effects are not apparent to us, our actions do effect the lives of other people, sometimes far away. We need new ways and new transparency laws to let us understand what the costs to others of the goods we purchase are, where they come from and what sort of labour conditions those goods are sourced under. We also need more alternatives to buy ethically, that are within most people’s budgets. Having the choice between ethically sourced goods that cost way more than a normal family can afford and goods sold in stores that only offer part-time jobs and starvation wages to their employees that utilize slave labour in other countries for manufacturing doesn’t really offer a choice. If you don’t have a lot of money you can’t afford to be ethical, which seems wrong. How come I can get a food item at the store and every single ingredient that went into it is listed on the back of the package, but how the item was made, where and with what sort of labour is left out? As a consumer we should be afforded the ability to make ethical purchases. There should be some sort of international independent organization with actual teeth that oversees labour practices across the world and gives companies letter grades and provides this information to the consumer with every purchase. It should be a reliable independent source for the consumer that tells us whether a purchase is helping to perpetuate positive or negative work conditions around the world. Companies that have the best conditions should be rewarded and companies that have the worst should be shut down. Getting everyone on board with the philosophy that humans are all part of one tribe is crucial to improving all our lives. If all children can be taught, from the earliest days that we are all one tribe and that

we are all deserving of love and compassion and the means of survival things will probably improve. As long as people continue to believe in in-group/out-group philosophies that see their own group as some sort of master race or chosen people and everyone else as inferior or misguided and not worthy of the same kind of empathy reserved for members of one’s own tribe— humanity will not grow. Accepting the fact that we are all animals, members of the same species and the same planet, which we have to take care of together is crucial. I’ve lived on Lake Erie and Lake Ontario for most of my life. For those who don’t know both these lakes are partially in the U.S. and partially in Canada and proved most of the water and electricity for the communities around the lakes like Toronto and Hamilton in Canada and Buffalo and Rochester in the U.S and Niagara Falls in both countries. Canada and the U.S. in the past have had different laws governing heavy industry on the lakes. But this is ridiculous, because if a company pollutes on one side of the lake, it automatically causes pollution on the other side as well. Right now countries are acting like the laws they make regarding pollution, labour, immigration and countless other things only affect their own country, when the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. We don’t live in isolated tribes anymore. Every human community is touching countless other communities. We didn’t evolve to live or think this way, but if there’s one thing we humans have mastered, it’s how to adapt. We can adapt to this new world and thinking in a new way about each other and our planet— but we have to stop seeing ourselves as isolated groups and start thinking of the big picture. In this world where our edges all touch each other, we have to be especially cognizant to live peacefully and try to do everything in our power to avoid violence wherever possible. To use a metaphor, you never know how the pollution you dump one one side of the lake will effect a baby yet to be born on the other side of the lake. If there is another choice, even if that choice is just to pause and consider what this action might achieve or to really grapple seriously with the harm it might cause, regardless of whether it is “right” or “deserved.” Make the choice to think before you act. Listen to what other people are feeling who aren’t from your in-group. Even if you don’t agree with them, how can you ever convince them, if you don’t try to understand where they are coming from? More than anything right now I think we need dialogue, not knee jerk reactions. We need nuance, deeper understanding than 150 character soundbites and the ability to listen to each other and the skill of trying to slow down our minds. It is easy to act on anger, greed or fear if you don’t see the people who your actions effect. But we have many tools in our communication arsenal for communicating how we feel to other people and trying to get them to make change. Violence should be very last resort of all the last resorts, not the go-to option. We have to act in accordance with the world we want to live in, in the future, a world that has room for all people. There is no shortage of money, food or land on this planet if we all only take what we need and share with each other. The withholding of these things from others and obscene accumulation of resources for oneself and ones family is not admirable. It is a demonstration of selfish antisocial behaviour and should be seen as such by our society. How our words and actions serve ourselves, our loved ones and the human tribe as a whole and its future existence on this Earth is worth considering.

#being human

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gallavictorious · 3 years

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concerning the ask about Ian bein the eldest child - I wonder how his relationship with Micky would even play out, when he'd have less free time and maybe a more realistic (less romanticized) view on life in general? Like, do you think he would chase after him like he did in the earlier seasons? I don't know, the whole "Ian is the eldest child" is facinating to me

Oh, this is an interesting one! I think there’s two different aspects to consider here: 1, would Ian and Mickey even be interested in one another if Ian were the eldest, and 2, if so, would pursuing a relationship be feasible under these circumstances?

I'll deal with the first issue briefly, and then with the second one at some length. Lots of different parameters to take into account here... This is obviously going to be speculative as hell, and I’m teasing the whole thing out as I type, but let’s see–

As was mentioned in the discussion that promted this ask, it’s difficult to know to what degree Ian’s personality would have been different, had he been born the eldest child – and even harder to know how that would have affected his compatibility with Mickey. He’d probably still would have been tough as well as compassionate, two qualities I believe are key to him being attractive to Mickey, but I’m less certain that Ian would have found Mickey quite as charming if he was already saddled with the responsibility for five younger siblings and a drunken father… ? And maybe Mickey embodying the South Side male in ways that mirror both Terry and Frank (look at their similar choices in clothing) would have been more of a turn off for firstborn!Ian, since he’d be the one who primarily had to deal with consequences of Frank’s many failings? Ian being a bit of a chameleon himself has him being more appreciative of Mickey being so extremely unconcerned about the opinions of others, but he might have been less amused with Mickey’s crudeness if he was dealing with a lot of other shit already? Then again, maybe none of this would have mattered! Maybe Mickey’s directness might be especially refreshing if your life’s generally a huge fucking tangle and you have slippery fuckers Monica and Frank to contend with on a daily basis. And although I think that the fact that canon!Ian often feels a bit invisible and like he's living in Lip's shadow might contribute to him fighting so hard for that connection he feels with Mickey – chasing after him, as you say – it might well be that even if he'd been the eldest, he'd still be seeking that out, because so much of his life and time is dedicated to his siblings and he yearns for something that is only his, only for him.

No easy or immediate answer to this question, though I suspect most of us prefer to think that they’d have liked each other anyway. Heaven knows there are plenty of AU:s built on this assumption.

Oh, and then there’s the whole question of pheromones. Now, obviously that’s not the be-all and end-all on sexual attraction, but given how very quickly Ian and Mickey go from trying beat the creap out of each other to eagerly fucking, and how Ian is very clear about liking the way Mickey smells, I think it’s fair to say that chemical compatibility is a pretty big factor in them first getting together. (It sure as hell isn’t the only one, but still.) With that in mind, I may or may not have had my partner, who’s a clinical research biologist, look into the epigenetic properties of pheromones (i.e. to find out if how you grow up might affect your natural body musk to the point where you’d be chemically attractive to other people than you are now). It’s not entirely clear and – predictably – the research done on what part pheromones play in sexual attraction among humans has been primarily focused on attraction in heterosexual people, but it seems that conditions in the womb and external factors in childhood (as well as changes later in life, such going on the pill, being stressed or having a disease) would affect your smell. However, we can’t readily know if and to what degree just being born first and having to take on the responsibilities of being the oldest sibling would affect Ian’s musk, and if it would decrease how attractive he is to Mickey (that it would increase it seems an impossibility because these two are already so insanely, stupidly horny for one another).

Okay. Having tentatively concluded that we can’t know for sure whether or not Ian and Mickey would still be into each other had Ian been born first (and hence not been quite the same person), let’s recklessly assume that they would, and turn to far more intriguing discussion of how their relationship would actually play out.

Do we imagine that Ian is a few years older than Mickey then, the same age as Fiona would have been at the start of canon? Maybe it doesn't matter much – it's not a huge difference, but to be honest I feel a little ickey about it since Ian would be an adult and Mickey still a teenager (and not a particularly well-adjusted and healthy one at that). Hmm. Either way, I can see them getting together in much the same way, with Ian doing something nice for Mandy – intervening when she's harassed at the local store, maybe, sparking a little hero crush on her part – and that whole thing going down more or less as it does in canon. But if it does, and Mickey and his goons beats up Ian's younger brother Lip in Ian's stead, I think eldest child!Ian might be really, really pissed and out for blood? Which gives him a nice incentive to go look for Mickey, even if Kash is not part of this picture (and I think that he's probably not). So far, so good... but if Ian's this much older than Mickey – four years? – Ian will already have started to fill out, right, turning all tall and buff, and Mickey might not have such an easy time overwhelming him. Then again, that might not necessarily serve as a deterrent to Mickey at all, so the end result is probably still the same, surprise sex fuelled by adrenaline, pheromones and general compatibility.

But... then what? To be honest, I think it'd be very difficult to make it work under these circumstances. If Ian is older than Mickey, Mickey might well have a much harder time feeling safe with him, just because he might feel like he doesn't have the upper hand in the relationship – and in the beginning I think it was VERY important for Mickey to feel like he had control and was calling the shots on when and how they met up. Four or five years is not a big difference at all later in life, but if you're 16 and your lover is 21 (or thereabouts, I'm still not super clear on the timeline, but ballpark) and they're also used to running an entire household and therefore accustomed to being in charge... I don't see this working for Mickey, not enough so that he dares let his guard down to the point required for their relationship to develop.

As for Ian, I think he'd have far less patience with Mickey's standoffishness and unwillingness to committ or even admit that they have anything beyond sex. Ian wouldn't have the time or energy or disposition to deal with that, not on top of everything else, and furthermore, it seems like it'd be very hard to keep his clandestine meeetings with Mickey secret when he's the lynchpin of the family, always taking calls and dealing with sudden emergencies. To make it properly work with Fiona, JimmySteve has to more or less move in more or less immediately and adjust his life to fit with her chaos; it'd arguably be the same for Ian, yeah? Don't really see the still very much closeted (and terrified) Mickey actually doing that – moving in, helping out with the kids and what-not. (One could also hope that Ian realizes that pursuing a relationship with a still underage Mickey would be inappropriate and calls it off for those reasons.)

So, realistically, if there's an age difference and they meet at the same time as they do in canon, I think there might be a few hook-ups, but it would fall apart rather soon, in spite of their very strong attraction. But! Maybe in a few years, when Mickey's older and the age difference less meaningful, and Mickey's had the chance to become a little more accepting of himself and his orientation, and Ian's siblings are just a little bit older so that Ian can take some more time for himself... maybe then they could run into each other again and that old spark roar back into life and they take it from there? It'd still be an uphill struggle, of course, but they've dealt with those before and always – eventually – come out on top. The whole Svetlana thing never happened, Mickey is fully on his way to coming into his own at the king of the South Side, Ian is trying to figure out who he is outside of the Big Brother, maybe Mickey is out, maybe he's not, maybe Terry is gone, maybe he's not... If one is so inclined, I think there's some fun to be had with this idea. I am, however, more partial to another:

Say that Ian's still born when he was born, so still a couple of years (according to the forms they fill out when applying for a marriage license) younger than Mickey. Maybe then, even in spite of his added burdens and responsibilities, he'd still be naive and soft enough to have a bit more patience for bad boy Mickey? It'd be before Monica ran out on them, so maybe there are still times (few and far between) when Ian doesn't have to take full responsibility for his siblings; times when he can pursue what he wants instead. And Mickey would feel more in control and safer dealing with babyface!Ian, so maybe he'd dare a bit more?

Maybe he starts hanging out at the Gallagher house after that first fuck, for a chance to be near Ian. The rest of the siblings would be young enough that he feels confident (although perhaps mistakenly) that they'll not pick up on what's going on, so as long as Frank and Monica are out (or out of it), Mickey's happy to come around. Hang out, fuck whenever they can, maybe even help out a tiny little bit when Ian makes him, and in spite of his best efforts and intentions he gets more and more pulled into Ian's life. This, I think, could potentially work, although I expect the same sort of up and downs as we get in canon. Mickey probaby won't get shot by Kash (because I think eldest child!Ian would be a little less susceptible to his ”charms”), but Frank could still – very easily – walk in on them. It would get overwhelming at times and Mickey would push Ian away and flee; Ian would get impatient with Mickey's insistence on distance and NO EMOTIONS ONLY SEX (more so than he is in canon, I think) and tell him to shape up or fuck off. It'd be volatile for sure, but in the end I think they'd always return to each other, adapt and try a little bit harder to make it work. Pull's just to strong, you know? Maybe it'd even happen faster than in canon, if Mickey isn't sent to juvie that first time, and if they have more opportunities to spend time together doing stuff other than fucking (ie just hanging out at the Gallagher house under the pretext that Mickey's just a friend, which Mickey would allow, thinking the younger siblings clueless). Really wouldn't mind reading this fic, you know, though I'd mourn Ian's relationship with Lip in this alternative reality. (Like, there’s SO MUCH potential! Maybe Mickey lures Frank and Monica away on a drug weekend just so he can stay at the house with Ian, even if it does mean having the help out with the little ones! I can see angry teenage Mickey being made to help Debbie with her math homework! Feed baby Liam! Supposed to stop tiny Carl from doing horrible stuff but ending up helping him instead! Ian is not amused! I want it!)

So, uh. That's my speculative take on this, for now. Very open to being swayed by other people's opinions, though, so I'd love to hear them, or whatever additional thoughs you might have.

Thank you so much for the ask: I had a lot of fun thinking about this, and hope that you found somet sort of satisfaction in my long-winded ramblings. <3 Also, I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you! As I've noted before, I'm unreliable (and sometimes busy).

#gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #meta #season 1 #kinda #asks

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saltyaro · 5 years

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You know, I’ve been replaying the Ace Attorney games lately. At first I was bored and out of nowhere, I redid Dual destinies just because I hadn’t in a long time. Which led me to play the first game again (mainly for the Edgeworth case I love it so much tbh) and I’m now replaying Spirit of justice.

And...I can’t help but absolutely love those games because. It’s just so easy to hc everyone - and bu that I mean absolutely everyone important - as arospec! In canon, Phoenix does have one (1) romantic relationship at one point but I’d like to point out that one crush in your life does not make you alloromantic. Given the context I’d say either greyro or heteronormativity? I guess he can’t really be demiro but he could also be recipro (with the context again. Recipro does sound particularly consistent though). He doesn’t have any other romantic stuff even hinted at him! Pearls wants to believe Maya and him are dating but it always makes them 100% uncomfortable (the age gap people. Also, siblings dynamic). Pearls is kinda brainwashed by TV but hasn’t ever expressed interest in romance for herself, even her older self.

Edgeworth doesn’t have any interest in romance either. And I know he’s often shipped with Phoenix (I learnt about that quite recently actually-) but...even outside of my “I’ll make everyone aro if I can” motto, I...never shipped them romantically, even before I learnt of aromanticism. I like their dynamic, and how it’s implied Edgeworth opened up more (to everyone) after his trauma got relieved a bit. I want him to act like a stupid kid around his friends. Like, I can acknowledge Phoenix and him have a special bond, but someone special doesn’t mean it’s romantic and. Edgey’s emotional development got stopped after he parted with Pheonix and Larry so there’s that to consider too. This is the kind of bond of trust that can’t be broken and I find it beautiful, but I’m also pretty sure it would be unhealthy to only rely on one person, regardless of the nature of the relationship.

Apollo? Doesn’t have a romantic subplot. I guess there’s Junie who’s got a thing for him but he doesn’t reciprocate - and I relate to him not even being aware of it lmao. He’s so oblivious around romance, if he’s not arospec who is.

Athena? No romance in her life. She’s a lot like Phoenix (in her past trauma and her reason for doing the things she does) and I love her. Also, if someone ships her romantically with Simon, then I hate that person and will steal their bed. They’re like siblings and have like, a 10 years gap.

Trucy is the sun and doesn’t know what romance is. She’d use it as a magic trick and burn it/make it disappear into her magic panties (actually please do that Trucy, I beg of you).

Well, I could also mention like, Gavin, I guess he’s just a flirt but I don’t think it really means anything, romantic-attraction-wise. He’s also too cool to be straight to i’m going to make him aro. Though I don’t have a consistent HC for him outside of “not straight” if I’m being honest.

And it’s not even like romance doesn’t exist in the AA universe! Larry’s the straightest guy to ever straight (he’s harmless but outside of that...) and the cases often have romantic subplots and all. Well, not *that* often, and it’s generally the cause for murder but still. It’s a thing, it exists. Also we have a canon WLW in Dual Destinies and she’s one of the rare romance-havers not to be a culprit! She’s not the best, like she def has anger issues, but it’s all explained and understandable. She also loves her brother very much and deserves good things and therapy.

ALSO

I really, really love the dynamic of Phoenix’s found family? You have Maya, Trucy, and Pearls (and I guess Athena and Apollo are part of it too but they arrive later and have less interactions so). Pearls is Maya’s cousin, but otherwise, no one has any blood relationship in their little family. No romance needed. Phoenix adopted Trucy (and is apparently doing a great job) and babysits Pealrs and Maya. They’re all free of doing whatever they want, and they know they’re always going to come back together. It’s a found family but, not the “nuclear family” way, you know? Maya definitely isn’t acting as Trucy’s mother, and more like Phoenix’s sister I guess (Trucy and Maya do lack canon interaction but I always felt like said interactions were implied). I love their little family and the freedom in it. It’s just so healthy.

The last thing, not aro related, but still great and why I love those games-

Mental illness. I’m not saying it’s great rep, I don’t think it is, but...it’s just, so refreshing that you have characters with mental illnesses and issues that aren’t bad people. They aren’t the culprits, and, like in real life, are more likely to be victims. The diagnostic is never given in the game, but Edgeworth’s trauma? Not mocked. He definitely has PTSD, and, his fear of earthquakes? Wondered about, but not mocked. I guess that’s part of the reason I always go back to his case in the first game: to hear someone you care about, someone you trust, tell you: “I believe in you. I know your mind has been lying to you the whole time, and I’m here to say it’s okay. Those are just lies. Even when you stop believing in yourself, I’ll still believe in you.” That’s just so powerful, I can’t help but feel emotional every time. Add to that the fact that this bond isn’t romantic and. Yeah.

For Athena’s trauma, it’s the way it’s displayed I really love. Her game is much more recent, and it shows. She just blacks out when her PTSD gets triggered and no one shames her for that. Even though no one knows what’s happening inside her head for the longest time. She needs to be brought back to her senses, to be grounded. It’s not like she gets to have therapy on screen or anything, no character really gets a lot of time off the courtroom anyway, but given the context, I found she was treated in a very sensitive way.

The last example I can think of, is a character with DID. I say DID, but I doubt that’s good rep, and that’s probably not the way people with DID experience life, but that’s what’s said in the game so...Anyway, they’re a witness and, if you know how AA games work, the real culprit is *always* a witness. And you know how in pop culture, people with multiple personalities are often treated as villain, with the “hidden personality” no one knows about, not even the person, and this hidden personality is a murderer? I was sooo afraid the game was going to go that way. They even did hint at it, with giving the character the “hidden personality”. Except, the “hidden personality”, much like all of the other people of the system, is...100% harmless. And just that was so refreshing. Which goes to say a lot about the state of the rep for mental diversity. I don’t know the reality of experiencing DID, but in the game the witness interacts with themselves, and everyone in the court speaks to each individual differently, and the witness isn’t treated as delusional.

Those characters are accused wrongly of murder, when in reality they haven’t hurt a fly. And exonerating them is key to solving the case at hand. I don’t know who’s responsible for that, but I’m extremely grateful to them. To explicitly have your main character, the character you’re playing, clear the name of the mentally ill characters? It’s a blessing and not something you would expect from a game that named one of its recurring characters “Larry Butz”.

Anyway, I guess I am kinda trying to convince some of you to play those games (and goof about it with me) in this post. Even though it wasn’t my initial intent. If all of this isn’t enough to convince you - play those games for the awful puns. The characters’ names are terrible. Also I know I mentioned romance existing but weirdly enough it wasn’t annoying? Probably because it’s actually downplayed a lot. It’s only relevant as a plot device and it’s just like. Stated. Not dwelved deeper into. Those games are great for when you’re romance tired.

#my post #fandom #aro hc #long post #I can't believe I'm getting back into AA #when i'm already in the middle of getting back into saint seiya #i'm going to seriously lack time with school #oops I know this is an aro blog but I'm way too passionate #and had nowhere to speak about it #though I'm sure this not-aro part will resonate with some of you!#hope you don't mind i just get really excited about those games at least once a year

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heartschoicegames · 4 years

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Heart’s Choice Author Interview: RoAnna Sylver, “Dawnfall”

Find true love and family with a pirate crew at the ends of the universe, where aliens, ghosts, and portals open the space between worlds...and your heart. You are a Navigator, one who creates and guards portals from one dimension to another, wary of the liminal sea between them.

Your universe is made of two worlds: one contains the magic-infused world of Zephyria, and the other, the dystopian space station Eclipse. The worlds are balanced, until one day, an explosive disaster, a deadly energy storm, and an infamous pirate—the Ghost Queen—upend your life and plunge you into a race to save both worlds.

Dawnfall is a 232,000 word interactive romance novel by RoAnna Sylver, one of the first set of games releasing with the launch of Heart’s Choice. I sat down with the author, RoAnna Sylver, to talk about writing interactive romance. Heart’s Choice games release December 2nd.

Dawnfall has frankly an insanely wonderful setting for a romance game. Tell me about the aliens, the pirates, the ghosts, and the alien-pirate-ghosts.

Hi there! I’m so glad you think this sounds fun! Yeah, Dawnfall is weird as heck, and that’s one of the things I love about this story. It’s weird in a way I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. I really just tried to put in everything I find fun or interesting, and that I’ve always wanted to write. Dawnfall started out as a total brain-candy project, and runs on pure Rule of Cool. Pirates? Yes. Magic? Yes. A slice of cyberpunk? Hell yes. Eerie ghosts and faerie-tale influences and memory-sharing potions? Giant bird people? The power of rock n’roll? Yes, yes, yes.

And also everybody’s dateable, and in a couple cases, dating each other. We weave a tangled web, but I think it’s a pretty badass and spectacular web.

You seem to really neatly straddle the genre fence here with a romance and sci-fi/fantasy. What was challenging about cramming all of that into one game?

Thank you so much for saying that. I’ve always adored SFF, and there’s so much in this genre-collection, so many extremes and concepts and contrasting colors, that I couldn’t limit myself to picking just one to play with. This weird game-book is kind of a love letter to fantasy and science fiction and haunted house stories and cyberpunk adventures—I thought a lot about the Disney movie Treasure Planet for its genre-blending beauty, and the Bioware game Mass Effect for its array of fascinating, multidimensional alien cuties to interact with and date… and then turned it up to eleven.

I guess you’d expect the challenge to be in making it all fit together/be “believable,” but I kind of threw that out the window. I don’t expect anyone to find it ‘realistic’ (setting-wise anyway; I tried to make every character ring true of course), and I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s silly, or doesn’t take it seriously. It is silly in a lot of ways. DAWNFALL is a giant ridiculous queer space magic pirate adventure, and the only goal is fun. If you have fun, I’ve done my job, and there should be something fun in here for everyone.

Did you have a favorite NPC you enjoyed writing most?

Honestly I love them all so much in different ways, and I know them so well by now it’s really second nature. Their voices come so easily and they’re all so much fun. The Queen’s swagger is awesome though, and her mental voice/mannerisms probably come through especially clearly. I love Zenith’s vulnerable moments when xie lets xir guard down and lets go of the need to entertain or please. I love Averis’s journey and growth from cute wibbly nerd to a confident swashbuckler (who is also still a cute wibbly nerd). I love how deeply Oz feels, how strongly he loves and remembers and honors memory, and how unafraid he is to show softness and warmth. And I love a certain spoilery ghost-babe and how they’re so full of joy at the beauty of life.

I do want to give special mention to Aeon, though. This is a story about connection, and I wanted to show that sibling bonds are every bit as important and strong as romantic or any other. I also wanted to show a complex, multidimensional antagonist figure who holds heartbreaking secrets along with authority, and is genuinely trying to do what she thinks is the best thing, and wants what’s best for you, the PC, even if you might not always agree. Her balance between being so emotionally guarded and determined and unyielding, while hopefully being extremely easy to read and tell what she wants and fears and loves—spoiler: you; she loves you!—was a challenge I hope I pull off.

…Also I enjoy any time Vyranix gets his pompous feathered ass handed to him. I think we all know a Vyranix, or at least of one, and it’s always fun to take them down, even in fantasy.

Who would you be romancing as a player?

I’m gonna say “everyone,” and here it won’t actually be cheating, because you can romance everyone! At once! In varying degrees/relationship dynamics and attractions. You don’t see a lot of polyamory-friendly games or books or anything really, and this is an incredibly important thing for me. The second I got the idea for Dawnfall I knew it had to let players romance anyone they wanted and show polyamory in a realistic, healthy light. I’m also a-spec (asexual and aromantic), and having not just good representation but being actively included and welcomed and celebrated in fiction is so huge too.

Dawnfall is a romance of course, being part of Heart’s Choice, but one of the single most vital elements for me is making it inclusive for aromantic and asexual players and player-characters. Essentially, I wanted to write a romance that didn’t penalize players for not experiencing the attractions the way we’re otherwise expected or required—and I’m so grateful that my amazing editors and community not only accepted but supported everything I was trying to do here. (It’s so refreshing not to have to fight for inclusion and freedom. It shouldn’t be, but it is.)

And that’s where the concept of “Heart-Stars” and “Same-Feathers” came from. I’ve never seen anything honor queerplatonic relationships like I’m trying to do here, and I want everyone, of every sexuality and attraction, to feel like they have a place here and can experience this adventure without limits. And I wanted to show that it’s a very normal thing, hence this being the same for the human characters as well as alien. (One of the nonbinary characters being human is also no mistake. I love me some wild alien genders, but there are tons of awesome nonbinary humans too!)

…That being said, I think I gave Averis most of my anxiety-issues, and would really just like to curl up with Oz and watch The Great British Bake-Off. That sounds like a perfect night in my books.

What were some of the things you found surprising about the game-writing process?

Coding was definitely the biggest learning curve. I’d never coded anything before in my life, and it’s such a new skillset to learn, entirely different from any kind of writing I’ve ever done. Sometimes it felt rewriting my brain, which did not at all do this intuitively—and also sometimes like I bit off much more than I could chew (first game ever being not only a huge piece of interactive fiction, but a polyamorous romance with aro and ace possibilities, and so many more variables than expected!), but it’s been worth it. Entirely. If my writing makes anyone feel seen and accepted and invited to have fun as they are, it’s worth every bit of struggle.

Also, oddly, interactive fiction is in some ways easier for me than writing a plain old book! Probably because I love AUs so much, and every choice in a game is like writing a tiny AU of the story, so I get to do the same scenes several different ways. My ADHD-brain finds something about this extremely satisfying, most likely because it somehow feels more like multitasking! Several stories in one, and if I like two ideas, I don’t have to pick just one to write!

Honestly though, I think the most surprising part is just being done, and…that I could do this at all. It was so huge, and took so long, and I learned so much, and every day I’m just kind of going “who the hell am I?” about doing all of this. I’m proud of it. I did a cool thing. And trying to get better at saying that.

And, what are you working on now?

I always have about 8 active projects going at once (which shouldn’t come as a surprise after last question!), but my next interactive fiction game is with Tales/Fable Labs! It’s shaping up to be a Dawnfall-sized project, but a little faster-moving and action-y.

It’s called Every Beat Belongs To You, and it’s a romantic thriller that feels like Twin Peaks meets Mr. Robot, with a smattering of Repo: The Genetic Opera. A creepy Pacific Northwest town with a secret (and a rash of ritualized murders), a super-slick medical research company whose flagship product is a 100% perfect synthetic heart, a mysterious new-age group, and a sister who went missing just before discovering how it’s all connected. Also five simultaneously-dateable (including ace and aro ships!) cuties of varying genders! Who will you trust with your heart?

I’m very excited about Everybeat, which should be just as queer, polyam, exciting, and weird as all my stuff! Aside from that, I’m working on Stake Sauce Book 2, its companion f/f vampire series Death Masquerade, and Chameleon Moon Book 3. I’m not always working…sometimes there are videogames, and sleep. But I really hope to have a lot more fun things to share soon!

Oh, and depending on how this weird, fun thing goes, I do have some ideas for prequel Dawnfall stories; maybe games, maybe books, but the ideas are there. The world—worlds, really—is so huge, and I’m not done playing in it yet! I also have some character art drawn, and I want to do a lot more of them. It’s another way to show love.

So thank you so much! I really hope Dawnfall is as fun to everyone to read/play as it was for me to write. I can’t wait to share it with you!

#hearts choice #interactive fiction

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juniper-rose-blower · 6 years

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Character Sheet: The Botanist

((It’s been quite some time since I updated Juniper’s character sheet, so here’s a freshened version for everyone. She even has had major growth in her moral alignment, which is always cool to see!

The following is a combination of the Character profile sheet, the About the Muse prompt, two Moral Alignment tests, the Self-Knowledge test, the Archetype test, and the Flower Personality test [I’ve included links to each one, if anyone wants to try them out; they’re creepy accurate!].))

NAME: Juniper Rose Blower

(( Art above done by the wonderful @rookuthelock - who you should definitely check out if you have not already! - show’s June in her two best elements: being an herbalist, and moving about in her travel form. ))

FACE CLAIM: Amanda Seyfried NICKNAME: June, Rose CODENAME: ‘Lark’ AGE: 21 HEIGHT: 5′6″ SPECIES: Human GENDER: Female BIRTHDAY: March 17 SUN SIGN: Pisces RESIDENCE: SKILLS: botanist, alchemist, healer DRINK: Gilnean Ambrosia FOOD: Meat Pie (usually beef or venison) DAY OR NIGHT: Day SNACKS: Pandaren Peach cobbler SONGS: Assassin’s Theme composed by Lorne Balfe [click link to listen] PET: none COLOR: earthy tones - brown or green FLOWER: Azsunian Aethril lilies EYE COLOR: Pale Gray HAIR COLOR: Light Sunshine / Platinum Blonde BODY TYPE: slender, swimmer’s build, modest curves BODY CLAIM: Candice Swanepoel

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral / Lawful Evil You’re motivated by tradition; you strongly believe in law and order, but you also recognize possible exploits for your own gain in the system. You put a good deal of faith in process, and you’ll follow orders without questioning them, as long as it doesn’t cause you to act immorally in your own mind. While you have the ability to feel empathy for others, you don’t always care about the rights of anyone other than yourself, and you’re not above throwing others under the bus to get what you want, whether that be to protect someone you care for or to simply better your own position.

ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. She is devoted to helping others. She works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

[ SOCIETY ]

$ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty. ✚ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged. ✪ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / slave / unsure. ✔ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying ✖ Criminal Record : yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet.

[ FAMILY ]

◐ Marital status : married - happily / unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered / single / divorced / separated / widowed ◒ Children : has a child or children / has no children / wants children. ◑ Relationship with Family : close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased / Has cousins and is close to them ◔ Filtration : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents mother

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between. ♦ disorganized / organized / in between. ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between. ♦ calm / anxious / in between. ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between. ♦ cautious / reckless / in between. ♦ patient / impatient / in between. ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between. ♦ leader / follower / in between. ♦ empathetic / unemphatic / in between. ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between realistic. ♦ traditional / modern / in between. ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between. ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown. ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown. ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown.

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic. ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious. ❀ Philosophical : yes / no. / in between

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual. ❥ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable. ♥ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable. ❣ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious. ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all. ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all.

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none. ≡ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none.

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ☁ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ✿ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ✌ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ☻ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. $ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ♣ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess

[ MOST NOTABLE PERSONALITY TRAITS ]

TENDERNESS

You are not afraid of the sufferings and sorrows of other people, even when they are acted out in unappealing ways. Beneath even defensiveness and self-righteous behaviour, you know that deep down people need nurturing and consolation. One danger is being naive about people’s dark sides. But at your best you know you can be mean yourself, which helps you to sympathize. You bring strength and forgiveness where other people might panic.

RATIONALITY

You like clarity and intelligent simplicity and you get frustrated at messy thinking. This can make you seem unreasonably pushy to some, but it is actually a virtue: you are motivated by a horror at pointless effort and a longing for precision and insight into how things and people work. Your ability to synthesize and bring order is essential in producing thinking which is truly helpful.

INDEPENDENCE

You don’t set out to be different for its own sake; you are more easily guided by what interests and moves you. You are more concerned about what is right for you than about the pressure to fit in. In sex you are more aware than others of impulses which are not entirely conventional. You know the value of selective irresponsibility, of forgetting occasionally about being ‘good’.

Your archetype is the doppelganger.

Traits: manipulative, self deprecating, intelligent, knowledgeable, ambiguous, caring

The doppelganger is most commonly used to symbolize the divide between two egos, or the grey line between good and bad. Doppelgangers are extremely intelligent, and are able to manipulate a persons thoughts and feelings for their own benefit. While they are seen as a darker character, they are closer to being morally ambiguous, if not someone who has been forced into a position they never agreed upon. Doppelgangers wish they could do better, and often find themselves regretting not doing something. While they are capable of manipulating others, they are vulnerable, making themselves susceptible to being manipulated as well. Although many of their traits are negative, they crave attention, validation, and wish they could be a better version of themselves. If you can get under their hard exterior, you’ll find a true friend, and a loyalist.

FLOWER PERSONALITY Juniper is:

Fennel

You Are: You’re quiet, sometimes shy, with a tendency to be reserved. You have a humble, kind nature and often find yourself taking care of others. You can be known to hold things in, and you don’t always speak up for yourself. This tendency to hold things in can lead to disturbances.

Fennel is soothing and supportive, helping to ease digestive upset. For feelings of fullness and bloating, fennel is the friend to call on to help.

Sweet and mildly bitter, with a distinct licorice-like taste, fennel was revered by the ancients for its charming properties. Attributed with the power to bestow long life, courage, strength and even to ward off evil spirits, we modern plant people highly regard fennel for its capacity to ease uncomfortable feelings of fullness, bloating or gassiness, or as an all-around promoter of healthy digestion.

Nettle

You Are: Truly a nurturing and supportive friend, you’re the kind of person that just isn’t for everyone. But those who take the time are rewarded with your gentle disposition, and the kind of friendship that does a person good no matter the difficulty they’re facing. When out of balance, you can become more prickly than supportive or nurturing, though—a sign that you need to shower yourself with the same kind of nurturing you so freely give to others.

Nettle is a deeply supportive herb that has been used for centuries as a tonic to support your body’s well-being. A traditional springtime tonic whose alluring “green” taste is a reflection of the rising green of spring, nettle gently nourishes the whole body.

Nettle’s genus name, Urtica, comes from the Latin urere, meaning “to burn”, an obvious reference to nettle’s nasty sting. Nettle is widespread around the world, and evidence of this very old plant was even found in Neolithic stilt dwellings in Switzerland dating back to the third millennium B.C. It has long been enjoyed for its gentle support for the whole body, as well as for its refreshing, green taste.

Peppermint

You Are: Unflappable. You are cool in the crisis, calm in the storm, collected amidst the chaos. You’re a breath of fresh air, a waft of inspiration to the down-and-out, a refreshing, inspiring, uplifting person to be around. Of course, even a cool cucumber like yourself can run into trouble. You may try to take on too much, which can leave you feeling weighed down and not quite yourself.

With its comforting breath of fresh air and the peppery, sweet familiar scent that tingles your nose, peppermint is a classic candy flavor. But there’s herbal wisdom hiding in those after dinner mints—peppermint oil also has the power to relieve occasional indigestion and soothe your stomach when your digestion needs a little help.

Long before mint became the go-to flavor of everything from gum to candy to toothpaste, the Greeks, Romans and ancient Egyptians were using mint leaves as a digestive aid. Peppermint’s characteristic minty-ness comes from menthol, an important part of its essential oil that, when present in high enough quantities, will be felt in a tingle in your nose and a strong minty scent that carries across a room.

#Juniper Rose #The Botanist #character sheet #updated

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mass-effect-a-companions-react · 7 years

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Team reacting to the mods as the pathfinder?

Mod Di

~ ~ ~ ~

Cora: How in the fresh hell is this meek thing the pathfinder? She cant fire a gun, she barely keeps up in training, and is 50 pound’s over the average military weight for a girl her height. She doesn’t like Di and gets really irritated. She pushes hard to whip Di into shape, and does her best to keep Di alive.

On the very off chance they do become friends Di can be seen drawing Cora frequently, and Cora is noticeably less harsh than usual.

Jaal: He honestly couldn’t believe that she was a threat when they first met. She looked absolutely terrified as she was confronted by the Angara. She stuttered when she spoke, and basically hid behind her companions. But even so he remained rough, even though he could help but noticed she flinched when faced with hostility. After spending time with her on the Tempest, her learns that she is not meek, but uncomfortable around strangers. She actually quite loud, and creative and terribly temperamental.

They bond over their ridiculously large families. Cousins, aunts, uncles, members unknown or unremembered. We even have the whole “other mother” thing. We add the word “Mama” in front of a woman's name as a term of maternal respect.

If romanced, Jaal will move things just a tad bit slower, as she is really reserved about her emotions. She never answers most of the questions Shauna asks, but yes Di does like pie.

Liam: He honestly couldn’t help but to feel a little bad for her. She didn’t come to be pathfinder, and is obviously unprepared for it. He teaches her how to fire a hand pistol, and trains with her to make it seem less horrible. He listens to her when she feels like rambling about Cora, and they bond over their love cheesy vids. They also like to play “The Name Game” which is when they compare how they say things in British English and American English.

If romanced Liam is still absolutely shameless, much to Di’s embarrassment. He won’t do the “lover’s jump” because Di has a fear of falling, but he still does have a way making her adrenaline rush. He teaches her how to play soccer, and keeps a list of bad pick up lines and cheesy puns because they make her laugh.

PeeBee: No sense of adventure. What kind of pathfinder has no sense of adventure? They have a rocky start because of how “out there” PeeBee is and Di likes to stay inside of her comfort zone. But when Di does admit she’d like to try something new, PeeBee makes it her mission to break this pathfinder out of her shell. Di likes to watch PeeBee work on POC, and is very interested in remnant tech.

If romanced, Di doesn’t do the anti gravity fling, because they aren’t her thing. But she does like to float around in PeeBee’s pod. She and PeeBee go on dates that aren’t as dangerous as remnant archives, but PeeBee swears they’re working their way up. They are both really cautious about the relationship in the beginning.

Suvi: Di likes to spend to spend time with her in her lab because she does have an interest in science experience. Sure, she almost blew up the ship a few times, but it’s not that much of a big deal (Yes it is, Suvi had banned her from her lab unsupervised)

If romancing Suvi Di is just as awkward as Ryder would be. She has zero romantic skills, and Kallo rolls his eyes to the next dimension every time he sees her. Di also likes to to tell her awful science puns for Suvi.

“Do you have 11 protons? ‘Cause you’re Sodium fine! ”

Some one save Kallo

Gil: She’s an awful poker player, but a good friend. They often make jokes together about their sexuality.

“If I was into women, you’d be my 3rd pick.”

“As if Gil. Just because I date both doesn't mean I don’t have standards.”

“OUCH,that hurts.”

She gets along with Jill marvelously. Di isn’t really interested in mechanics, but she does like t watch him work, and asks questions about the basic stuff just in case she needs to do it.

Drack: Di is terrified of him at first. He was big, armed to the teeth, and tackled a Kett with his bare hands. It was a pretty big first impression. Drack thought she was too soft and squishy to be pathfinder. But after a few mission he warms up, or takes pity. He teaches her how to fire a “real gun” as he calls them.

“Hand pistols are for chumps.”

“But…I like hand pistols.”

He’s totally her Krogan dad.

Lexi: Relationship wise, they’re on good terms . Di checks in on her to make sure she eats and sleeps and such, even if she is kind of a hypocrite herself. Work wise, Lexi can stand her. She doesn’t listen and she’s too stubborn to come to her when she she’s sick.

“You have a fever! Take the medicine!”

“You have weak ankles because you don't let then heal properly!”

“If your wrist is sore, stop drawing!”

Vetra: Older siblings unite. These two are peas in a pod, and Di understands Vetra’s situation with Sid. Even though they but heads, Di would (And did) travel to another galaxy if it meant her little sisters could be happy. Di prefers to stay away from the black market, but every one in a while she finds a new armor piece or visor or something else that she wants or needs mysterious appearing in her room.

If romanced the awkwardness is doubled. No one knows what they are doing. Di cant cook either, so she can’t really do much about Vetra.

Kallo: He doesn’t mind her. They have only have a professional relationship in the beginning, but Di begins to get curious about the ship. She asks Kallo questions, he cant help but feel a little swell of pride. They like to talk about weird idle thing together.

Mod Ash

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cora: Even if the girl wasn’t really the standard Pathfinder material from the start, at the very least she could defend herself on some level, even if her fighting style was mostly hitting things till they fell over. There’s some sort of neutral respect between the two which isn’t quite friendship yet but closer to frequent acquaintances.(Mod Ash wishes Cora was romancable for her)

Liam: It was weird how they were able to bond even though their personalities were so different, though maybe that has something to do with their shared love for movies. She comes to him for advice pretty often, much to Cora’s displeasure, but if only she followed at least half of it. However he is grateful for a pretty fun-loving Pathfinder

If romanced, he still wishes she’s listen more to him, but then again her stubbornness is one of her main qualities. Both have movie nights on a daily basis, and after his insistence that she’d get some exercise in someway, it was decided upon that they’d have weekly dance sessions. And despite her groaning at it, he knows she still has fun.

Suvi: It was nice to have someone who appreciated ‘space rocks’ as much as herself around the ship, though they never really had anything to talk about unless the topic was missions. They were a little too different, and although that didn’t really affect their attitudes towards each other, it did affect the atmosphere of any room they were in alone.If romanced, Nope. Never happening.

Gil: the team has tried on many instances to separate them for the benefit of others, since when the two are together, you know there are various pranks and banters abound. Most of the time she would coerce him into assisting her with these said pranks. She tries very hard to learn about the ship’s engineering, and he appreciates that. (Though he’s pretty sure she wants to learn engineering so that she can build a freeze ray at this point)

Jaal: When he first met her, he didn’t really understand why everyone was so afraid of this short and skinny alien. Until he joins the crew and finds out that she can be very temperamental when provoked, and can be extremely spiteful with a tongue to match. He finds it frustrating that her feelings are so hidden from others. Despite this, they both become friends due to her wanting to explore more of his culture and he of her’s. That and the fact that she always seems to want to get a sketch of him at all times, since according to her he was something ‘new and waiting to be drawn out’.

If romanced, he is skeptical about her true feelings at first, but over the course of the relationship he is able to get her to open up more and they progress things at a healthy pace. They got together probably because she finds it refreshing that he is more honest than most people, and he finds it great that she’s very opened to new things about his culture and people.

Vetra: From the get go Vetra knew that the girl was weird, how weird was only revealed to her later on. There was never a dull moment on the Tempest if the Pathfinder was around, from the pranking, to the sudden changes in attitude and random singing. She dances in her room too but Vetra pretends not to know. The first thing they bonded over was siblings, then from there it progressed to learning about the black market and all sorts of shady things. It wasn’t very well approved by some of the other crew members but it sure as hell looked like the Pathfinder was having fun.

If romanced, Vetra’s not sure how it all really went down, but now there is a strong sense of trust between both. She catches Ash drawing her more than once, because apparently ‘it’s easier to draw someone with such defining features that a human with a rounded face or an asari!’ She’s not sure whether that’s a compliment but Ash assures her it is.

Peebee: Alright! Finally a partner to do shenanigans with! And she doesn’t bother with the nitty gritty bits like your past relationships or well, just your backstory in general. It’s almost like having the sister that she never really had, or twin maybe, considering how but were so alike in personality, the only difference being that Ash is more the silent-deadly type. It’s great to have someone willing to take risks for history and discovery as the leader though.

If romanced, sorry guys, I didn’t think of Peebee in that way at all

Lexi: it’s interesting to do health checkups for this Pathfinder because between the weird agility she has and the even more curious genetic makeup, her personality is quite entertaining to evaluate. Both of them get along just fine, though their friendship is almost non-existent due to never really having a reason to speak to each other.

Drack: he thought that she was too squishy and short to be Pathfinder at first, but after seeing her scale a flat surfaced cupboard to get food and punch a guy so hard it injured his nose even though he was twice her size, (i.e things I’ve actually done) he began to like her. She tries her very best to help the Krogan colony too, and that makes him begin to like her even more. The only thing he doesn’t like is how much she tries to suck up to Tann, though he does understand it helps them get what they need at times.

Kallo: The girl had absolutely no understanding about the Tempest at all, and at the beginning their friendship was simply one of colleagues, though it later developed into maybe a little bit of banter here and there, especially since the incident with Gil where she helped them come to a compromise. He does quite like her quiet company when he’s flying though.

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f-ortuity · 5 years

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Ship Roulette || {Accepting!}

@painintopcwer

1. Saias/Lewyn

{ ooc. I’m going to have to say no to this one if it’s romantic simply because... if I remember right, Lewyn is older than Saias by 10 years. But I think they would get along? It would take a bit, simply because they are different personality-wise, and Saias isn’t the best at informal conversations, but yeah! I think it would be a bit refreshing for Saias being able to talk to someone older than him, who isn’t his father or some morally corrupted general. Also, there’s an entire chapter in one of the fe5 manga adaptations where these two talk and it’s a++}

2. Eydis/Saber

{ ooc. Eydis is a child Definitely not romantic. Big no. I think, platonically, it could go one of two ways-- either Eydis annoys the living hell out of Saber for one reason or another, or she doesn’t and they might get along. The thing is though that Eydis? Gentle and shy outwardly but the moment she feels comfortable with someone she can get a bit stubborn and sassy. God, if Eydis ever found out her time is canonically 2000 years before sov’s events, Saber would never hear the end of it. }

3. Inigo/Noire

{ ooc. I liked their supports, in all honesty! That being said, I’m on the fence with this one? Like, I like it both platonically and romantically, but... both wouldn’t be this perfect sort of relationship without any sort of strain. Inigo still finds Noire a bit frightening, as said in their supports, and... you know, when she taps into her more aggressive personality, it does scare him and he doesn’t know how to help her calm back down. I speak as someone whose family member has a mental disorder very similar to Noire’s sudden change in emotions, so I’ve seen how it plays out in person, and... yeah nah-- it would be hard for them to be in a romantic relationship unless both Inigo and Noire are prepared to deal with that sort of stuff. If he’s not ready or understanding, it’s likely that it’d get to a point where either he would leave because it’s not healthy for him, they’d get into some sort of fight and break up, or would constantly be on/off. Not saying it can’t work-- just that it might be difficult at times. Even their ending hints that while they were a good match, things were very up and down. }

4. Altena/Ryoma

{ ooc. Maybe? I say that simply because they haven’t interacted, but... I feel like they’d get along-- like their personalities wouldn’t clash. I don’t think Ryoma has any traits that would rub Altena the wrong way? At the very least, they can bond over knowing what it feels like to be separated from their younger sibling... and tbh, if Corrin ever came up, I think Altena would be able to provide insight as to how they’re feeling because her situation was similar. }

5. Rudolf/Laurent

{ ooc. Rudolf is 60, so no I don’t think they’d get along all that well either, but that would be Rudolf’s fault. He’s not actually very talkative, and never really seeks out someone else’s company? Or at least, not after his wife died and he sent Alm into hiding. There’s also his extremely convoluted plan and his choice to die by Alm’s hand that... idk, I don’t think Laurent would find interesting or smart, even for someone whose name is in the history books. Just imagine, right. Laurent writing down his life story because it’s invaluable to hear it from the actual person and his expression just becomes more and more devoid of life as Rudolf goes on. This man over-complicated shit way too much. }

#⟡ — {ooc.}#paintintopcwer

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loribos · 5 years

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New Post has been published on Toronto Events, Activities and Entertainment

New Post has been published on https://www.torontonicity.com/2019/10/11/best-books-gifts-holidays-2019/

Best Books to Give as Gifts for the Holidays 2019

I love receiving a good book as a holiday gift! I think books make great gifts for busy people who find they have some downtime during the holidays to relax and read. There is nothing like cracking the spine of a new book while enjoying a glass of wine (or in my case, Rooibos tea) by the fire or Christmas tree. Books can also be loaned or given to family and friends or donated to the Free Library so they are well worth the money. Here are some of the best books for holiday gifts 2019.

Best Books for Holiday Gifts 2019

A Delhi Obsession by M.G. Vassanji

In this story of mature love and grief, the recently-widowed protagonist, Munir Khan, travels to Delhi to trace his grandfather’s roots. While visiting the city, he meets Mohini Singh, a married Hindu woman. The clash of their religions is highlighted by Munir’s journey through Delhi, in which he discovers the city’s history of religious conflict between Muslims and Hindus. Back in Toronto, Munir experiences a solitude, emphasized by the fact that his only child lives in New York. Vassanji’s writing conjures vivid scenes of the Indian urban landscape – bustling marketplaces, temples, and shrines – and presents a moral dilemma in which he allows his reader to come to their own conclusions. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

Watching You Without Me by Lynn Coady

Giller Prize winner Lynn Coady’s latest book caught my attention during the first few pages. I knew this was going to be a book I couldn’ t put down. Lynn Coady puts on a master class about how to gradually increase the tension toward the “crisis” so that we become addicted to the unraveling of the story and invested in the characters’ wellbeing. Karen is a Toronto-based lawyer who returns to Nova Scotia after the death of her mother to look after her disabled sister, Kelli. Karen encounters Kelli’s personal support worker, Trevor, who has an unusually close relationship with Kelli. The three main characters, Karen, Trevor and Kelli, were very well drawn – Karen’s ambivalence to interfere or upset the status quo as a result of the grief/guilt she is experiencing due to her mother’s death – while the relationship between Karen and Kelli illustrates the everyday challenges of looking after a disabled person. Some of the east coast dialogue had me laughing out loud, but this is a psychological thriller in which the reader will experience a slow burn towards the one or perhaps two of the characters.

Rocky Mountain Cooking by Katie Mitzel

Cooking is a total sensory experience – we evaluate a meal by its smell, presentation, and taste. Katie Mitzel has spent years as a gourmet chef at backcountry lodges in B.C. and expands our culinary experience by creating a cookbook that includes stunning photos of the Western Canada locale in which she creates her recipes. Her recipes are geared towards healthy appetites that have been developed from spending a day hiking or skiing so most of the recipes put an emphasis on protein (beef, pork, seafood) or carbs (potatoes, bread). Interestingly, Mitzel’s take on vegetable dishes such as Butternut Squash and Fennel; Brussel Sprouts with Homemade Pesto; and Asparagus Fries with Roasted Garlic Aioli, is what caught my eye. This is both a book to encourage innovation in the kitchen, as well as tempt you to visit the B.C. interior.

Fashion, New Edition: The Definitive Visual Guide

If you have a fashionista on your holiday gift list, you might want to consider giving them Fashion, New Edition: The Definitive Visual Guide. This book will provide endless hours of enjoyment for the fashion-forward and even the fashion-neutral because it delves so deeply into the roots of fashion. The book begins with fashions in the Medieval period and how clothing evolved to reflect the culture, climate, and society. The book passes through the Renaissance, Baroque, Rococo, the Industrial Revolution, Neoclassicism, Empire, Regency and covers trends such as the turban, bustle, fishtail, and crinoline (think Scarlet O’Hara in Gone with the Wind). The book moves with the times and covers the rebellious fashion trends of the turn of the century, the roaring Twenties, pre- and post-War periods, the Fifties and Sixties right up to the Designer Decade featuring dresses worn by Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Kate Middleton, Lady Gaga, Halle Berry and Charlize Theron.

Good Girls Lie by J.T. Ellison

New York Times bestselling author J.T. Ellison weaves her background at a Virginia boarding school into the setting for her latest novel. Tall, blonde and beautiful U.K. citizen Ash Carlisle, whose parents have both recently died under unusual circumstances, has just arrived at The Goode School, a private boarding school for the elite in the secluded Blue Mountains. Ash immediately encounters opposition from the school’s star student, Becca, and generally experiences difficulty assimilating. A few days after Ash’s arrival, a popular professor dies. The Goode School is said to house ghosts from the past as a result of a murder that happened on the grounds in the previous decade. Students belong to secret societies that hold their meetings in the wee hours of the night. The school is also connected to tunnels that were part of the Underground Railroad. All of this lends a decidedly Gothic feel to this page-turner. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push();

Healthy As F*ck by Oonagh Duncan

One of the best books for holiday gifts 2019 is Healthy As F*ck by Fitness Trainer Oonagh Duncan. Duncan offers a refreshing perspective on losing weight – she emphasizes that successful weight loss is not as much about calorie cutting (although that is still important) as it is about how you feel when you eat. Duncan offers seven habits to adopt to become a “healthy and fit mot**r****er”. As you will have gathered by the title, Duncan very liberally peppers her pages with four-letter words. Fortunately, her book is filled with her unique brand of humour, which should help you get you off the couch. If coarse language bothers you, you might want to take a pass on this book, but you might be missing out as there are many gems to improve your health and fitness in this book.

The Innocents by Michael Crummey

In Michael Crummey’s latest novel, two pre-teens in a remote Newfoundland outpost experience the death of their parents and must battle the elements for survival. Ignorant of the outside world, Evered and Ada are bound to the local merchant who provides them with food provisions in exchange for the fish they catch in their cove. As a result of their solitary experience, the siblings bond in an unusual manner – both physically and emotionally. Crummey is a master of poetic language, making the most mundane action sound exquisite. Crummey has mined the Newfoundland lexicon to provide extremely colourful sayings, anecdotes and songs in this heartbreaking novel of the struggle against nature – both external and internal.

The Perfect Wife by JP Delaney

JP Delaney’s latest thriller focuses on Abbie, who wakes up with very little memory of the past five years. Her husband, Tim, is a tech startup billionaire whose company’s latest innovation is a robot that provides customer service in the retail sector. As Abbie tries to piece together what has happened to her life, the plot twists point to a dark and disturbing motive.

I hope you enjoy the above best books for holiday gifts 2019. Let me know in the comment section if you have a suggestion to add.

You might also be interested in reading, “Books for Winter 2019 Reading“.

#best books holidays #books 2019

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fountainpenguin · 6 years

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Okay, since you've already admitted that "Frayed Knots" will have Anti-Cosmo running a genie breeding program and you've already demonstrated that you like discussing biology with the marsupial pouch things... Yeah, let's go there. Do you want to talk to give us the genie version of "The Talk"? Like half their bodies are smoke! You said it was the females who carry the kids, so we know that. How long is their pregnancy? Are big wishes while pregnant dangerous for Jr? How fragile are the kids?

I would actually rather not list all the details on my blog since that doesn’t seem wholly appropriate, but you will get The Talk for genies in-story, so to speak. It’s threaded in with some very… interesting information about the nature of Anti-Fairy pregnancy. It’s kind of a very big deal and I’d rather make you wait.

Don’t worry- we’re getting close. It’ll be somewhere between Chapters 9 and 12. I would have liked to get there a lot sooner for reasons, but while two chapters about H.P.’s childhood was sufficient, Anti-Cosmo has a ridiculous amount of set-up to wade through. We have to cover his relationship with his brother, his mom, his cousin, his betrothed, his friends, the High Count and Countess, his interests, Spellementary School, his canetis, Anti-Wanda…

We’re getting there, I promise. The trickiest part is timing everything right. 100,000 years for a genie is a full lifetime, whereas 100,000 years to a Fairy feels more like a decade. Bring the genie into the story too soon, and I could screw up all my plans. It takes patience.

So, here is my super condensed version of “The Talk” about genies. And here is a link to my previous post about genie biology if you want a refresher.

First off, it is dangerous for genies to use magic when they’re pregnant. Once they find out, they can’t just wish themselves up a suitable birthing environment complete with iron-rich soils and few plants to snag themselves on. They’ve gotta go find them. And genie mothers are pregnant for five years, so genies tend to not be so happy about unexpected pregnancies. But at the same time, who says no? With such a tiny population, will you get another chance? Reason number one why the conservation program is great: Raising your kids in bottles sucks. It’s a lousy environment, so having a professional take care of your needs takes a load off.

I drew inspiration from both snakes and rabbits when designing my genies. A genie mother is pregnant for five years, as I said, and her babies (her “candles”) come in litters. A healthy genie will be one with a thicker body (not vastly overweight, just bigger). You can identify a pregnant genie if you watch how she curls up when she sleeps. If she curls her tail around her, she’s not pregnant. If she makes a spiral with her tail with the tip in the middle and her body on the outside of the spiral, she is. Snake people.

Genies need the conservation program for several reasons- not just the most obvious one of being bottled up and scattered across the world. Because their bodies are sensitive to temperature changes, they have to be first exposed to colder temperatures (signalling winter) and then warmer (signalling spring and more food) for an extended period of time. But the cloudlands don’t have distinct seasons. Male genies are fertile so long as they breed in warm temperatures, but females still need the weeks of cool in order to carry their children.

Baby genies will either take the tail color of their parent or some shade in between. However, some candles are born with white tails. These genies parallel “peanuts” born to rabbits, which consume milk but never grow and quickly die. Removing white-tailed genies from a litter and killing them before they steal milk from their healthy siblings is one of the things Anti-Cosmo has to learn to deal with. If you’re curious about it, look up “peanuts in rabbits”.

Additionally, orange is a very rare tail color in genies. It tends to go hand in hand with insufficient levels of eumelanin, which leads to Vitamin D deficiency. Like redheads, but to the extreme. For a genie, Vitamin D is absolutely crucial to survival, and insufficient levels can spell death. You may remember how fascinated Sanderson was when meeting the orange genie, Henry, in “Entire World”. Oranges aren’t common. They don’t normally survive very long.

Baby genies desperately need iron to remain healthy. Usually, they would get iron from crawling in the dirt. But there isn’t a lot of dirt or iron in the cloudlands, either. Anti-Cosmo helps out with that, too. In fact, candles are extremely sensitive to… everything. As it turns out, that rule-free all-powerful magic is meant to compensate for something. Genies in general are highly fragile, but candles take ridiculous levels of care. It’s a few degrees too cold? Oops, they’re dead. You’re an anti-fairy and you touched one without padded gloves? Oops, you’re too cold and they’re dead. A static shock terrified them out of their wits? They bump their heads a little too hard? Oops, they’re dead.

Genies are ridiculous that way. They’re born in litters for a reason. In the wild, it takes at least a century before they start building up their magic. In captivity, they develop more quickly. Once they start building up their magic, they’re likely to survive to adulthood. The real challenge is making it to that point.

I’ve said that Fairies and humans can’t have children together in my headcanon, because their reproductive parts don’t match up. Fairy magic becomes very unstable when a Fairy gets aroused, so transforming into a human wouldn’t work. Unless you were maybe totally deadpan emotionless about the whole thing, in which case, what’s the point? And pixies have Wolbachia anyway, so there are no pixie x human children either.

But a genie actually can have a kid with a human, since Genie magic is different and less sensitive to emotions than Fairy magic. This is where we get the witches like Alden Bitterroot. And… one other character whose heritage we’ll get into very soon. I’m curious to see if anyone’s caught the clues…

#Jeepers I wonder who this is from #Lava lamp dude #FAIRIES!#ridwriting #asks #Anon

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juniper-rose-blower · 7 years

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The Botanist

((So, it’s been a while since I updated all of her info. As I’ve played her, some things have blossomed slightly differently than I originally thought they would, her interactions have varied from person to person, and I’ve done a number of tests and alignments and things for her; so I’m doing a re-post of all the information. Enjoy, give her a follow, and spam her with asks! Pretty please! ^_^

The following is a combination of the Character profile sheet, the About the Muse prompt, the Moral Alignment test, the Self-Knowledge test, the Archetype test, and the Flower Personality test [I’ve included links to each one, if anyone wants to try them out; they’re creepy accurate!]. It also includes a visual breakdown of June and her gear.))

NAME: Juniper Rose Blower

(( Art above done by the wonderful @rookuthelock, which I’m still OVERTHEMOON in love with, show’s June in her two best elements: being an herbalist, and moving about in her travel form. ))

FACE CLAIM: Amanda Seyfried NICKNAME: June, Rose CODENAME: ‘Lark’ AGE: 20 HEIGHT: 5′6″ SPECIES: Human GENDER: Female BIRTHDAY: March 17 SUN SIGN: Pisces RESIDENCE: Swamp Castle SKILLS: botanist, alchemist, healer DRINK: Gilnean Ambrosia FOOD: Meat Pie (usually beef or venison) DAY OR NIGHT: Day SNACKS: Pandaren Peach cobbler, or Osprey’s apple pie SONGS: Assassin’s Theme composed by Lorne Balfe [click link to listen] PET: none COLOR: earthy tones - brown or green FLOWER: Azsunian Aethril lilies EYE COLOR: Pale Gray HAIR COLOR: Light Sunshine / Platinum Blonde BODY TYPE: slender, swimmer’s build, modest curves BODY CLAIM: Candice Swanepoel

ALIGNMENT: Lawful Neutral / Lawful Evil You’re motivated by tradition; you strongly believe in law and order, but you also recognize possible exploits for your own gain in the system. You put a good deal of faith in process, and you’ll follow orders without questioning them, as long as it doesn’t cause you to act immorally in your own mind. While you have the ability to feel empathy for others, you don’t always care about the rights of anyone other than yourself, and you’re not above throwing others under the bus to get what you want, whether that be to protect someone you care for or to simply better your own position.

[ SOCIETY ]

[ FAMILY ]

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic. �� Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✮ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✯ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ❃ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ✧ Religious : orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious. ❀ Philosophical : yes / no. / in between

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

[ ABILITIES ]

[ HABITS ]

[ MOST NOTABLE PERSONALITY TRAITS ]

TENDERNESS

RATIONALITY

INDEPENDENCE

Your archetype is the doppelganger.

Traits: manipulative, self deprecating, intelligent, knowledgeable, ambiguous, caring

FLOWER PERSONALITY Juniper is:

Fennel

Fennel is soothing and supportive, helping to ease digestive upset. For feelings of fullness and bloating, fennel is the friend to call on to help.

Nettle

Peppermint

Long before mint became the go-to flavor of everything from gum to candy to toothpaste, the Greeks, Romans and ancient Egyptians were using mint leaves as a digestive aid. Peppermint’s characteristic mintiness comes from menthol, an important part of its essential oil that, when present in high enough quantities, will be felt in a tingle in your nose and a strong minty scent that carries across a room.

A breakdown of June’s gear:

The Botanist’s outfit consists of olive green dyed cargo capris, a brown corseted and multi-pocketed vest, a dark green hooded over-vest, a reinforced pair of leather fingerless gloves, a leather belt holding a large journal pocket, and a set of deep green leather boots given to her by Kestrel and Osprey after extensive refurbishing. She also carries a one-strapped knapsack and a shoulder satchel.

There are a total of 20 outside pockets adorning the capris, vest, and over-vest. In each of these pockets, June regularly changes out batches of seeds / leaves / flower petals from various herbs, depending on what she finds is useful for certain situations.

The journal pouch attached to her belt carries her purple leather-bound Botanist’s journal, which she fills with sketches, notes, research, and pressed samples of the plants she researches; she also keeps the Herbs of Argus book that Mal gave her there, occasionally flipping through pages to gawk at the beauty of the alien plantlife. If one were to remove these books from said pocket, they’d also notice a set of pencils, charcoal, and a quill and inkwell at the bottom of it.

The shoulder bag has 3 outside pockets, and is large and open on the inside. In the first outside pocket she stores 3 rolls of silk bandages; the second holds 3 long rolls of linen; and a small kit - which includes a pair of pruning clippers, a seemingly endless spool of thick weave twine, a flint and iron, and a steel flask - rests in the third. On the inside of this bag, Juniper keeps a large collection of herb pouches and vials, her small collection of books gifted to her from Winter’s Veil, an assortment of empty phials, and a hinged wooden latchbox. Inside the box, held in perfectly shaped niches of worn velvet for protection, is a collection of ten different colored carved stoppered phials. Each appears handcarved from crystalline stone types, like jade or amethyst or quartz. Each is lovely. She also keeps a modest wooden mortar and pestle and a wooden cup.

Finally, June keeps her main water skin tied to her belt, on the opposite side from her journal pouch. She also sometimes wears a timber-colored cloak with a mantle of dire wolf fur - she managed to get ahold of this item in Elwynn from a bandit, and added the fur from a local wolf she took down. Most often, unless it’s wintertime, this cloak remains in her newer satchel with her sherpa-lined black leathers. The soft items help the bag make a great travel pillow.

#Juniper #The Botanist #Character

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