#so I lost all my drawings that I didn´t post here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feminaexlux · 3 years

Text

All That Matters (Pt 2: They’re Multiplyin’ and I’m Losing Control)

Part 2 of All That Matters. Part 1 here

Find this on AO3 here!

⁂

Ladybug convinced a newly transformed Dragon Noir to use Water form and launch himself into the sky. He'd be able to get a look at what was happening from a bird's eye view and find Queen Wasp and the other Miraculous holders. Dragon Noir was hovering above Paris in a large water bubble at the peak of his arc when he contacted her. "Hey 'Bug, she's at the Trocadero, and… you're right," Dragon Noir sighed. "She's got the other heroes all brainwashed and suited up. Except Ka--uh, the fencer girl is just… standing there."

"Is she okay? M-Master Fu isn't with them, is he?" Ladybug asked nervously.

"I think she's fine, just… non-responsive. I don't see him. Am I supposed to see him?" Dragon Noir asked, concerned.

"No! No." Ladybug breathed out a sigh of relief. "Just… just that Queen Wasp doesn't have access to all of the Miraculous then," Ladybug said. Okay. Master Fu was still safe, to a degree. Even though he wasn't really the Guardian anymore.

"Master Fu" was, in fact, not even a real person anymore.

There had been one too many close calls with Master Fu being nearly discovered by Mayura and Hawkmoth, and with Marinette being as hyper-competent as she was, Fu made the decision to retire earlier in the late summer. After all, the Order had been restored and he was no longer the last of his kind. Marinette had proven herself worthy of Guardianship time and time again. He was just too old, too weak, too slow to react and adapt.

Fu had handed over the Miracle Box to Ladybug at the end of summer. His penultimate act as Guardian was to tell her who King Monkey was after handing out the Monkey Miraculous to Kim. Ladybug became the new Guardian of the Miraculous in secret, and the person that was "Master Fu, Guardian of the Miraculous" was no more after he lost all of his memories.

There was one final "gift" that Master Fu had left Ladybug before his memories were erased. Fu had given her his blessing to use him as a decoy. Better to have Hawkmoth track down and find a dead end in a broken old man than wreak more havoc with more Miraculous under his command.

The knowledge of whoever Chat Noir was underneath the mask got lost along with Fu's memories. But that was fine to Ladybug. Chat Noir was simply her partner, and that was enough.

Though losing Master Fu as her mentor and confidante had been such a huge blow to Marinette. She had spent a week crying in secret until Luka had surprised her one day, visiting her in her room. "Thought I'd join you here if that's alright," Luka had said, and Marinette let him stay with her. He'd just smiled and held out his hands to her. He hadn't even asked what was wrong. He was just present, letting her cry in his arms until she couldn't anymore. "If there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

It had been a good long time until she was able to speak again. "You're already helping me," Marinette had said quietly, pressing herself into the hug. "This is all that I need."

Ladybug shook her head to get back to the present. She stuck her head out of the water and took a quick scan of her surroundings, making sure she wasn't spotted by anything. She got out of the river, drying out the Lucky Charm scarf as best she could. "Tikki, Mullo, Unify!" This was another Big Secret Marinette kept to herself: that she'd been keeping Mullo's Miraculous on her. It had changed a bit recently, now representing itself as a necklace with a pendant shaped like a guitar pick that she hid under her shirt. Marinette was paranoid enough that she couldn't let anyone see her wear the necklace. Multimouse had detransformed in front of Chat Noir, after all.

Sometimes she transformed into Multimouse without any akumas to deal with - breaking her own rule of not using the Miraculous for personal reasons - to be as small as she felt sometimes and hide away from the world. She and Tikki had a lot of heart to heart conversations tucked into a hatbox in one corner of her room.

This time, she was using it to just be stealthy. She used Multitude to split into several smaller versions of herself, fanning across a large area and running down different streets and alleyways toward the Trocadero.

"She's calling herself Miracle Queen," Dragon Noir mused. "The… the others are surrounding her to defend her. I'd say we're in quite a pickle, my Lady."

Multibug didn't stop running. "How do you feel about trying to draw the honor guard away?" one of her asked.

Dragon Noir snorted. "On it. Easy as pie." Over the comms Ladybug heard her partner shout "Hey there demons, it's me, ya boi Chat Noir! I'm standing right here. You brain-dead zombies want my miraculous? Come and get it!"

…

Okay…

One of the Multibugs pulled out her yoyo and took a look at the screen. Dragon Noir's spot on her map kept jumping around, pulling the group of the other heroes away as they all chased after him. Pegasus was using Voyage to keep trying to intercept but Dragon Noir bounced off in a different direction as fast as lightning. She had to give props to Chat, he sure knew how to play that cat-and-mouse game well.

But Dragon Noir wouldn't be able to keep this up forever if Viperion was working against them. She needed to take down Viperion and this Miracle Queen, and she needed to do that as soon as possible. She kept moving forward, scurrying across as fast as she could to get to cover or hide behind or underneath things, trying to close in and surround Miracle Queen from as many angles as she could get at the Trocadero.

One of her got close, so close. Miracle Queen was standing in front of a line of golden statues, and a Multibug was hiding behind one of the statue plinths when she got grabbed from behind. "Aahhh!" she squeaked out loud.

"Not ssso fassst, little moussse," Viperion said as he turned her toward his face, stressing his s's in what was probably a mockery of Sass. "You'll never get the drop on me, can't you see?" He turned toward Miracle Queen and bowed to her with Multibug firm in his grip. "I've found a pest, My Queen."

Multibug held back another squeak. "Lu--Viperion! Viperion, don't do this, don't listen to her! Don't let her control you!" She had been so sure that Dragon Noir had led them all away, how did Viperion surprise her?! She realized he must have used Second Chance and timed it so he knew just when to turn back and stop her. The other heroes must have coordinated to trick Dragon Noir!

Miracle Queen turned her head lazily, examining her nails with a sour look after giving a quick glance at Viperion presenting her the Multibug in his left hand. "Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous. A rat? That's the best you could do, Ladybug?" Miracle Queen leaned in and looked closer at Multibug. "Hmm. Although you do have your Miraculous, but they're so tiny. I don't know how much more useless you could possibly be, but…" A wasp manifested above the Queen's hand, hovering and ready to strike.

There was a lightning fast zzzip and a yoyo snatched up the wasp from right in front of Miracle Queen before she realized what happened. Miracle Queen cried out, looking up only to have a pair of Multibugs drop down from above and wrap the scarf tight around her face, blocking her vision entirely. "What the-- Aaaah!" Miracle Queen screamed as she stumbled backward.

Viperion started reaching for his bracelet but the Multibug in his hand reached out as fast as she could and held back the serpent's head to prevent the reset. The two Multibugs that dropped merged together, and another larger Multibug emerged from the shadows. The 2 larger Multibugs lassoed Viperion's left and right wrists with their jump ropes and pulled away from each other, forcing Viperion's arms apart. They coordinated and pulled their ropes backward, unbalancing Viperion and dragging him off his feet to slam his back up against a statue plinth, knocking the breath out of him. This allowed the Multibug in his hand to wriggle free and pull off his bracelet as he struggled against his bindings.

Miracle Queen pulled off the scarf and threw it on the ground just as a detransformed Luka fell to his knees, the jump ropes untying smoothly from his wrists as the Multibugs pulled away and sprinted off in different directions. "DISGUSTING! Ugh!" She stomped toward Luka and grabbed the collar of his shirt and forced him to look up at her. "You're so useless!"

"Hey! Leave him alone!"

Miracle Queen looked to her side, where a fully sized Multibug was glaring at her. "What, this piece of trash?" Miracle Queen mocked, picking a struggling Luka up by the throat until he was hanging a few inches off the ground. "He belongs with the rest of the filthy garbage!" She threw him at Multibug.

"Luka! No!" Multibug rushed in to catch him and they collided, sending them both tumbling to the ground. She sat up with Luka cradled in her arms, he was still dazed from the impact and mind control but it seemed like he was slowly recovering. Her face was set in rage when she looked up at Miracle Queen. "How could you?!"

Instead of responding Miracle Queen summoned a new swarm of wasps. Miracle Queen commanded her wasps to "Get her!" just as Multibug's earrings beeped, starting the countdown to her powers running out.

Multibug growled, trying to decide between letting Luka down to deal with the threat or getting them both out of there as fast as possible. She made her decision, throwing out her yoyo and hooking it onto a railing, pulling her and Luka away from the Trocadero as fast as she could manage trying to outpace the wasps. But even after a few swings the wasps were still pursuing and inching in closer, much too close for comfort. Multibug wasn't sure where she could go that would be safe so she gritted her teeth and dove both her and Luka into the Seine.

⁂

Luka's head was swimming in black and white static. It felt like he was floating in a sea of quicksand, getting swallowed up and drowning in grainy noise. He couldn't have any thoughts of his own last longer than a second, they'd all been drowned out by this stupid buzzing. He must have gone crazy.

"--bzzzkrrzzzzkstshshhbzzzshzzzLuka!bzzzsrrkzstzz--" Wait, that was… that sounded like-- "--rrrbkzzzzshshkstbzzzssskchssshbrLuka!rssshkzzzbzkrrrrbzzz--" Marinette! For one split second he saw her. She'd been panicked, looking up at him with worry. He hated that he made her feel this way.

He felt his legs being forced to move. Something was tugging at his hand, something warm, something small, but the sensation of it kept slipping away unless he fought hard to concentrate on it. Then it let go, letting him fully sink back into the static. He could sense that he'd been walking for some time, and then he stopped. There was this… grating noise on top of the static that must have been someone's voice tell him something… something about… the Miraculous?

Hissing sounds started overlying the buzzing in the background. He felt something tightly coil at his wrist, and when he could stop and focus against the pressure wave of sound that pressed into him from all sides, he noticed that a lot of that hissing came from… that coil? It was shapeless, the definition of its boundaries lost in the black and white grainy spots that covered his vision.

He felt that thing that was hissing bite into his wrist, and man, ouch, what the heck was that-- He started seeing distinct outlines and colors, forms and shapes, could hear silence beyond the buzzing… He could faintly see Sass? That little guy was sinking his fangs into Luka's wrist… He almost got back in control of his senses with the pain from Sass' bite when it felt like his head got yanked back by an invisible hand and it slammed his head forward into the static, sending him back into confusion.

Wait, could he… he couldn't tell if he was breathing, but he could still feel his heartbeat. He needed to focus on that, maybe try to feel the pattern, feel the pulse, meditate on that constant rhythm like a metronome. Could he break free from the static with that?

Sass bit him again. Luka was hoping it was the kwami trying to help more than hurt Luka. He trusted Sass, didn't he? Yeah. Yeah, why did he question that? There was a blinding flash that forced Luka to blink and he forgot about both his meditation and Sass trying to get his attention. What might have been an eternity or a few seconds later, there was another flash, but Luka tried to keep his eyes open. He could swear he saw Sass more clearly in that flash, but what did that mean?

There was another flash. Followed by two more. He'd grabbed something in his left hand. Mouse, he suddenly thought. "--zzzzzzbzzzzhssssssssshshshchtchssszzzzViperion!brrsssszzzzzrrzzz--" Viperion? Was that who he was? Were the blinding flashes his use of Second Chance? Wait… who was calling him? He had the faintest impression of red, or pink maybe, or blue-- Marinette's eyes were staring back up in fear, in pleading -- why couldn't he help her? He wanted to make her happy but he'd just been so--

"You're so useless!"

Yeah. He knew that.

The static noise abruptly stopped and he was looking up at yellow and black, the masked face of Miracle Queen. Her magenta eyes were narrowed and mocking and full of derision. She lifted him by the throat and he was struggling against her, but then he got flung aside. Marinette's voice cut through the lingering thick fog in his mind. "Luka! No!" He landed on something softer than the concrete ground. "How could you?!" Marinette yelled at Miracle Queen, sounding the most angry he'd ever heard her.

Wait, this wasn't Marinette… was it? Luka had tried to get a better look at the girl who was holding him up but then she sent them both soaring through the sky, pulled along by her… magic yoyo. Ladybug? She didn't look like Ladybug… or no he saw some red and black along with the pink and gray of the rest of her suit.

His face was right next to hers. He heard the beeping of her earrings get faster. He also heard Chat Noir's voice coming through Ladybug(?)'s earrings. "Sorry 'Bug, I'm out -- I gotta recharge!"

"Me too!" Ladybug replied, yelling over the wind. "Sorry Luka, we're going in," she said more quietly, pulling him in closer and cradling his head against her chest. Then they both plunged into the Seine.

⁂

To be continued...

Oh boy what a pickle >_>

#fxl fic #lukanette #lukanette endgame #endgame lukanette #ladybug #chat noir #dragon noir #multibug #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #miracle queen #viperion #akumatized(?)!viperion #lbscexchange2021

30 notes · View notes

wedreamedlove · 4 years

Text

Bai Qi In Love - Character Study

Archiving from Reddit. This is also the main post I wanted to bring over but it required my previous Bai Qi - Character Study post LOL.

So I went through Bai Qi's Spring Festival Date and I have not been the same ever since, so I wanted to expel all my emotions in another character post.

Had a couple of songs in the background while I was writing this, so feel free to put them on too while reading this post LOL.

Contains spoilers up to Chapter 15 and lines from unreleased CN cards. Translations are from the CN and JP version, so may have differing lines from the ENG version.

My road map this time is starting out with the origin of Bai Qi's love, moving onto his letter, how he's gone through his life with MC being his North Star, and then finishing off again with just how much he wants to share every moment of his life with her.

I mentioned before in my Speech Quirks post that Bai Qi always defaults to absolute sincerity when he's not sure how to respond to MC and I hope this reminds you of that, and just how he has a sixth sense when it comes to MC. Every cell in his body is attuned to her.

Normally, this level of devotion to someone is probably unhealthy but, well, MC is the paragon of goodness here so he's in good hands LOL.

FALLING SLOWLY (IN LOVE)

First (another song here!), this is the JP translation of ground zero in the [Campus Date]:

The man raised his knife and attacked Bai Qi, stabbing the sharp blade at him. But still, Bai Qi desperately countered.

Finally, everyone was knocked down but Bai Qi, who was bleeding horribly, stumbled. In his hazy consciousness, the sound of the piano gradually weakened. It was like falling into light from heaven.

In that moment, the boss of the gang took this chance to kick Bai Qi and, because of that hit, Bai Qi fell from the rooftop.

Bai Qi reached out with both hands, trying to grab something as he felt himself plummeting.

Suddenly, a melody reverberated, filled with a strong energy, pressure, and tension.

That sound crossed space and time and resonated with Bai Qi's memories.

The sight of his father wearing a military uniform and his gentle mother... memories of his childhood poured into him all at once.

"Lieutenant General, regrettably, there was no evidence of Evol in his genes."

"There's no meaning for such a useless thing to exist."

Since his mother passed away, he was always alone. It was like he was the only one in this world.

If he died, those guys would probably be happy.

Bai Qi heard rhythmical and strong piano notes and, as he was engulfed in the fierce winds, he felt his body becoming lighter.

"NO!"

Not like this.

His life didn't need his father, friends, or a meaning.

Bai Qi clenched his hands into fists with these strong emotions and the power, sleeping deep in his body, awakened.

He felt a pulse in the wind and, between the vast expanse of heaven and earth, life spread through on the wind.

The melody he heard eventually turned into something overflowing with emotions. In the depths of autumn, the gingko leaves blown up by the wind danced and glimmered in the air.

Bai Qi traveled through the air like a bird and small birds, with their wings spread, gathered happily around him.

Entranced with the piano notes, he hummed freely to the song.

The birds flapped their wings, startled by Bai Qi's sudden humming.

Bai Qi gently picked up a small bird and continued to hum.

It was joy for his reborn self and a declaration of the coming light and end of darkness.

He heard the singing of a girl along with the piano notes.

That clear voice had a powerful force which captured people's hearts and wouldn't let go.

The girl's singing and piano drew Bai Qi's mind and body over strongly.

The wind lifted Bai Qi's body and carried him to a window. Looking inside, he saw a girl playing the piano.

Maybe it was the reflection of the gingko leaves fluttering outside the window, but the girl's eyes sparkled like stars.

She continued to accompany herself on the piano and it was as if she was resonating with the wind.

It was an ordinary girl, but he felt a strong spirit from her.

The girl's hands danced on top of the white and black keys and her piano song shook Bai Qi's heart.

He quietly watched her, feeling that the seed sown in his heart was sprouting.

The girl had no idea that her piano saved a boy who was about to fall into a dark abyss.

And there was no way for the girl to know that the boy swore on his life to protect her.

BTW, the song MC was playing at this time was Liszt's Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream). During the second anniversary, Papergames confirmed some of the piano songs in the game.

I don't think it needs to be said that Bai Qi was literally going to die at this moment. Not only physically but I'm sure he was mentally at his limits too. Despite the tough act he puts on about being used to loneliness and not caring for what other people think about him, humans are social creatures. He felt like he was all alone in the world and was about to give up on life. I feel like we can draw some analogies to depression here.

There's also an intentional foil in [Chapter 12] between Bai Qi, Jay, and Josie. There's a reference to Josie in [Chapter 7] and MC was sympathizing about how Evol made Josie get treated like a monster, and that sort of darkness can easily change someone. Bai Qi's reply is:

[Main Story 7-18]: "Then I'm very lucky. There was someone who caught me right before I hit the bottom."

But going back to the scene with Jay in [Main Story 12-8], when he's being interrogated, he accuses Bai Qi of not knowing anything about the despair he went through. But, as we all know, Bai Qi lost his father (when he didn't show Evol genes), lost his mother (in the fire), and lost his younger brother (their father took him away and their relationship soured after the death of their mother).

Yet, unlike Jay, he didn't lash out at society and turn to the darkness because he met MC.

[Campus Date] is such a critical date about Bai Qi's character and his convictions and how, while a part of it was formed to go against his father's version of justice, it really solidified because of MC. He learned to love life and cherish its preciousness because of MC.

Because of just how important this ground zero is for Bai Qi, we see references made to this scene again and again and again:

[Main Story 15-7]: "And you saved me. Don't lower your head, look at me. Don't feel insecure and don't feel like you're useless. You caught me again right before I hit the bottom."

[Spring Festival Date]: "The day I met her, there were gingko leaves drifting and falling slowly through the air, and it was the most beautiful time in late autumn. It was also the darkest time of my life. But she was the one who caught me tightly when I fell."

[CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes]: Bai Qi is bleeding out and touches the picture of MC that he always keeps on him in his breast pocket and sees that a corner of it is stained red. Then he thinks back to the time he heard her play the piano, lightly, gently, slowly, and how it seeped into his body and heart. [Context: this is before he reunites with MC].

THE. LETTER.

We learn about it in [Chapter 7] and how Bai Qi gave it to Minor to pass to the MC, but she saw the bloodstains on it and, because of the bad rumors around Bai Qi and how she misunderstood the sight of him threatening a student to cough up (stolen) money, she thought the letter was a threat LOL.

I'm laughing out loud, but rest assured I'm actually crying inside.

However, the truth is that it was a goodbye letter:

[Main Story 7-20]: "What I regret the most? Probably not handing that letter to that girl personally. [Was it a love letter?] No, it was a goodbye letter. [Why did you write a goodbye letter?] Why should I tell you? [Bro, look, everyone's listening. Give me some face] Because that girl said that she hated it the most when people leave without saying goodbye. [One last question. Could you tell us what was in that letter?] It doesn't matter. Let's just leave that letter in the past. We'll have lots of time in the future together."

For those curious, the contents of the letter is from [CN Rumors and Secrets: Angled Light] but I think this is part of the Dream Heart Lake event series and so won't be released: "Saturday, 9:00AM, I'll be waiting for you in the school library."

By the way, to make things more tragic, you also learn here that he waited for 14 hours at the library, until he was forced out because it was closing, and before he left he slid a gingko leaf into a book that had a collection of Lord Byron poems, which the MC often carried.

The reason he wanted to say goodbye to MC was because, after his Evol awakened and he was going to graduate, his father enlisted him into special training and (threatens) points out that Bai Qi now has someone he wants to protect, but MC is special and she won't have a peaceful life. Does Bai Qi really think he can protect her (as he is)?

It doesn't say what page Bai Qi placed the gingko leaf into, but in [CN Rumors and Secrets: Ashes] Bai Qi thinks he finally understands one of the poems in the book.

Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI and I bolded the part he quotes:

"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide, I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide, And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death, Rather than Life a mere affair of breath.

Meanwhile, in [CN Tide of Light SSR Chasing Dreams Date]:

"That year, I did want to give you that letter personally. But I gave myself a way out and left it up to luck. I knew that, at the time, I was still lacking a lot and so I decided that I had to meet you again with my best self."

On a last note, in [CN Yesterday's Breeze SSR Former Days Date] MC asks Bai Qi if he has ever imagined them not reuniting with each other again:

"I've thought about it before. I've thought about how, if I wasn't there, would there be people who would bully that girl and would there be anyone who'd get back at them for her? I've also thought about whether there'd be someone who'd give her a love letter and if she would end up loving someone else... So, if I was to ever meet her again, I had to make sure to catch her. And I'd never let go again."

BTW, in this date, MC has some sort of dream projection where she goes back to their high school days (but the past her also exists LOL so there's two of them) and she has some fun interactions with a grumpy high school Bai Qi. But the heartbreaking part is that MC sees the letter and runs to find him and you get to hear Bai Qi say, self-deriding, that he knew "she" wouldn't come...

HIS (GUIDING MOONLIGHT) NORTH STAR

So, after seeing just how important MC is to Bai Qi, is it any wonder that every atom of his body is attuned to her? SOBS HE JUST LOVES HER SO MUCH. Xu Mo may have the red string of fate, but Bai Qi has "all roads lead to you". She's his lodestone and his compass always points to her.

[CN Lost Forest SSR]: "I will always walk towards you first. You're forever my flag, the one I've kept to throughout every moment of my life."

[CN Go See Him: Military Uniform]: "This uniform and these medals are my convictions, and you are the direction I move forward in."

[CN Southern Wind SSR Road Trip Date]: "The start and end of this journey is you."

I feel like I'm missing more, because I swear the majority of Bai Qi's cards all seem to have some sort of direction quote and relating it back to MC.

Anyway, I won't bother bringing the examples I put in the other post (because they're over there) but this is also why it melts me whenever there's description about Bai Qi's eyes following MC or whenever he's just focusing his attention on her (with heart eyes) in the ASMRs.

Additionally, in my previous character study for Bai Qi, I talked about how MC and Bai Qi both encourage each other to grow with unconditional love and acceptance, but I want to add some quotes here about just how much he takes becoming a better person for MC to heart:

[Spring Festival Date]: "She's the one who told me I could live more strongly, and she's also the one who told me I could live more gently."

[CN Clear After the Rain SSR]: "You're the only one who can find the real me."

[CN Drunk Easterly Wind SSR Three Worlds Date]: "Regardless of whatever lives we have, I will always take my best self and give it to you. This isn't an undertaking and it's not a joke. All of these are just words from my heart."

[Slightly Drunken Date]: "No matter which side of me, they're all yours."

What can I say except that's love, baby! You don't need to complete each other, you just need to encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves!

FOREVER BY YOUR SIDE

Now that we've gotten through the bulk of what I want to say, I'm just going to dump all the romantic stuff Bai Qi has declared to MC.

It really bothers him that he wasn't there for most of her early life, but he maintains his optimism (wouldn't be surprised if he learned it from her) and looks forward to their future together.

[Prank Date]: "I wasn't there for your university, middle school, or elementary school years, and even the time before then. In my memories, there's only the sight of you in high school. At that time, your hair was longer than it is now. But it doesn't matter. From here on, we have time to create new memories."

[Love of my Life SSR Goodnight Wish Call]: "I just... thought about you in many small instances. For example... a movie, a song, a lyric, when I'm crossing the road, and... the moment I close my eyes [...] As long as you're willing, I want to take all the time that's considered yours and turn it to "ours" [...] I want to know how you were before I met you. I want to walk the roads you've walked before, see the sights you've seen before, and... brand my mark on all those moments [...] Yes. I really care about that. I want to make up for all the time I wasn't there in your life. But, right now, what I care about more is our future [...] In our future... I want to hold your hand and walk to the end of our ever after. That's the best future I can imagine."

[Mediterranean Date]: "The missed holidays, the dates I couldn't make, and the many times I had to disappear without being able to tell you... I've never had the time to make up for all of these things. So, no matter what we do, no matter where we go, as long as the person beside me is you, I won't have a single objection."

[Love of my Life SSR Wish Call]: "My wish? From the second I met you again, the wish I made to the stars every night has already been realized."

[2018 Birthday Message]: "Sometimes, whenever I pass an interesting place, I'll think about when I can bring you here to walk around. Whenever I eat something good, I'll buy one more on habit. And, whenever I run into danger on missions, I just need to think about you and my will to fight is rekindled. Because you're here, happy occasions went from being for one person to being for two people. And all the things that would worry someone have disappeared into nothing. Is it strange to hear me say this? But I want to tell you, just how important you are in my life. I don't believe in fate, but I believe in miracles. Meeting you is the most precious miracle in my life."

[Spring Festival Date]: "In the rest of my life, I want to use it all to accompany you, care for you, and love you. This is all genuine. They're all words I want to say to you... words said only to you."

[Main Story 14-22]: "I'll be with you, until the very last moment."

MOM, I LOVE THIS 2D MAN SO MUCH!! Haha, sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Thank you for reading up to this point and I hope this lets people appreciate Bai Qi more. Gotta spread more propaganda for him and convince people that he's not just the boring vanilla character.

He's someone who was teetering on the edge of darkness and could have become someone who lashed out at society like Jay, but instead he chose to be a protector of the people and to uphold justice (even if his methods are unconventional and morally grey).

He struggles with insecurity but it never gets in the way of what he wants to do and instead motivates him to continue to better himself for MC. There's nothing wrong with setting someone or something as your goal to get through life. Baby steps until you learn how to run on your own, or not when you find someone who will walk the road of life with you.

He's a man who loved the person who literally saved his life (and is probably his raison d'être) for 7 years, never forgot her during that time, and has finally reunited with her.

Okay, ending this post for real now with the Lunar New Year card. BTW the ENG version is totally fine and I have no qualms with its translation, but I just like the nuance more in the CN and JP version.

CN goes 你是我的此生眷恋 which is literally like "you're my affection/attachment in this life". If I wasn't separating it from the English version, I'd translate it as "love of my life" too to simplify it and make it flow. But I find it interesting that 眷恋 (juan lian; sentimental attachment) is used instead of 挚爱 (zhi ai; true love) and the way you'd actually write "love of my life" is 此生挚爱 (ci sheng zhi ai) rather than the card's 此生眷恋 (ci sheng juan lian).

JP goes おまえは俺の一生の憧れ which is literally like "you're the aspiration/longing of my life". Again, I find it so interesting that neither JP or CN are using the character for love 愛 (ai) and JP's 憧れ (akogare) bundles in feelings of yearning, longing, desire, and aspiration. IMO the JP version drives in the fact that MC is someone Bai Qi's trying to catch up to. He's loved her for so long, tries so hard to better himself, and all of it is to become a person he believes can stand by her side.

#mr love queen's choice #mlqc meta #love and producer #mlqc gavin #mlqc bai qi #love and produc(ing) meta #mlqc

168 notes · View notes

samshogwarts · 4 years

Text

Character Profil - Samantha O´Connell

Ok Guys, first things first - this will be a very long Post with every Information about Samantha which have already been published. And this Post will be editied time by time. But so that it doesn't get too long, I will put the Informationen under the Line. Based on this Character Profil, I draw my web Comic. So let´s go!

Last Update: 3rd Aug, 2020

Amortentia (What do they smell like?): Grass field on a summer sunset, Candle smoke and a bit of vanilla.

Amortentia (What do they smell?): grass, fire, smoke, honeysuckle (Charlie Weasley), a forest after the rain.

Faceclaim: -

Voiceclaim: her singing voice: AmaLee (I´m a stupid Fangirl)

Samantha O´Connells Story

Before Hogwarts:

Childhood:

Samantha was born in Ireland as the dauther of the pureblood witch Claire O´Connell and the Vampire Wizard Matthew O´Connell. Grow up with a many love, Samantha doesn´t know any evil and starts to be a daydreaming girl. As a half-Vampire she didn´t drink blood, but still have some (weak) Vampire-Power, like inhuman ears and a fast Wound healing.

Even her father was a Vampire who visted Hogwarts, he runs a muggle hospital and never understand why the wizard world don´t use muggel technogoly like a Fringe or Telephone. One Night, her father got a emergency call from his hospital. In that night Deatheaters break into the O´Connells house with the goal to kill the hole family. Claire O´Connell was a shame for the Wizard World because she married a monster and her daugther wasn´t allowed to existed.

Clarie hides her daughter in a secret Base behind a Closet and say “What ever you heared, don´t come out. Stay hide. I love you” This was the last time Samantha saw her mother alive. Before Claire could leave the room, she was surrounded by Deatheaters. They tortured her, trying to find out where she hide the “little monster”. The only thing Claire scream was: “STAY HIDE! DON´T COME OUT!” What nobody knows was, that Samantha saw everything. She saw how her mother was tortured, she saw all the blood and she saw her mother was finally killed.

Before the Deatheaters could find Samantha, the Auror showed up and defeted the enemy.

The funeral and the life with the Roberts:

After that night nothing was the same again. Samanthas father becomes cold and distant. On the funeral a old friend of Claire showed up - Angela Roberts and her son Jacob Roberts. Jacob was a few year older than Samantha and take care of her the hole funeral. Angela and Matthew talked to each other that maybe it would be the best if Samantha would stay a few days with the Roberts. So Samantha goes with them, without knowing this was the last time she saw her father for a very long time.

One week later Angela Robert filed a lawsuit in the ministery. She wants the custodyfor Samantha because Matthew is a dangouers Vampire and against the magic world. She wins, but never tells Samantha, that it was her idea. Angela tells her new adopted daughter it was her fahters idea because he can´t look in her face anymore (because she looks like her mother).

The next hell in Samanthas life showed up, because her adopted mother was obsessed with the idea to turn Samantha in a Claire 2.0(the way Angela saw her mother). Samantha was crowded to dress, to act and to talk like “ a true lady”, a princess, a tender flower. She hated it. Only Jacob helped her and stopped his mother sometimes. He starts calling her “Pip” because he reads Lord of the rings (Samantha gave him the book”, and Samantha calls him gib brother or Jacke. It was the worst time of her life, when Jacob was in Hogwarts and Samantha couldn´t wait to become a hogwarts student too. But then Jacob vanisted and Samantha has to faced her adopted mothers paranoia alone (which become worsted, because of Jacobs Vanish). The psychological terror becomes physically (Details unkown). But finally her Hogwarts letter arrived one day and Samantha saw her first chance to be free or even to find out what happend to her brother....

Hogwarts

Hogwarts Year 1-3:

Ok, if I would tell you everthink in Detail, it would take hours. So here is a shorter vision:

In her first few years, Samantha was very shy and don´t know how to act or interact with people at her age. She starts her adventure with the cursed vaults, found Hints about what happend to Jacob and was even able to find some friends! But on every Holiday, she had to went back to her adopted mothers house (or hell, there was no big different).

In the end of the 3rd Year, Bill Weasley and a other Sutdent beomce suspicious and call Samanthas Dad. Matthew showed up at Hogwarts. After a awful Situation, the Turth came out and Samanthas father Matthew was able to get the custody back. Samantha talks never again with Angela and it´s unknown what happend to her (just the Fact, that Samanthas Aunt Hel, trys to kill her, but she was stopped by Matthew).

Since that Day Samantha lived with her family again. And after a few Starting difficulties, she and her fahter had a really good realtionship! The 3rd Year is also the Year where it came out, that Samantha is a half-Vampire (before that, she covered her ears with a spell)

Hogwarts Year 4-7:

At the beginning of the 4th year, everyone could see how much Samantha changed. She become more open, more self confident and simple - more happy. This also the Year where she become friend with the most other MC´s :D and of cause - Charlie Weasley. in which she also fell in love. It wasn´t love at the first sight, but Samantha realise her feelings after Charlie tells her, she is not a princess or a a tender flower, she is more like a Dragon. Ready to fight with much Power. In the Winter (Yule Ball) they become a couple, but they keep it a secret.

And she became the Seeker for the Ravenclaw Qudditch Team and a Perfect.

Also the Adventure continued and Samatha and her friends finally found Jacob Roberts in the portrait vaults. Rakepick betrayed the Friends and Jacob chased her without answering Samanthas questions. Samantha felt deceived.

At there next meeting, Samantha will punshed Jacob and for the first time in her life she tells someone how she felt without thinking.

After defeating “R” and the curse of the vaults, Samantha and her friends have one last enemey - the future. Samantha had simple no idea what she want to do after school. After talking with Tonks and Mad-Eye she decided to start training as an Auror. She knows Charlie wants to become a Drakologe in Rumania. Also Samantha loves Dragons too, she also know that this wasn´t the right job for her. But maybe she would find a different Job in Rumania, after her Auror Training. Unfortunately both didn´t talk to each other fast enough. So Samantha thought Charlie didn´t want her in Rumania and Charlie thought Samantha dind´t want to come with him. They break up, but promised to be still best friends (haha! the Dorks didn´t talk to each other for 4 years now because of there broken hearts).

After Hogwarts:

Samantha starte her Training as an Auror with Tonks and finished it with Bravura. She was finally able to control her Vampire side and using her Vampire skills. Maybe that´s the reason why THEY talk to her at her Graduation ceremony... After that conversation Samantha had no other choice but join.....

[END OF INFORMATION. THIS ARE SECRET INFORMATION.NO RELEASE. ]

But in the end, Samantha found her final happy end. If you already want to know more read this post about the MC-Future-Challenge.

Relationship:

HP Character:

Rowan Khanna: Rowan was Samanthas first Friend. Like in the HPHM Game, they met at Diagon Alley. After her Dead, Samantha lose the first time her control about her Vampire side. After that Samantha and the others establish the circle of Khanna.

Ben Copper: In the first Years, Samantha and Ben were really closed firend. But after Bens Change, they lived apart. In the end there were just acquaintance.

Penny Haywood: Penny made it her personal mission to improve Samanthas self-confidence. It was Pennys Idea, that a Ponytail would suit Samantha well. There were good friends.

Bill Weasley: Bill become a borhter like friend. He is the only one how calls Samantha “Sammy” without making her angry.. They become really closed and Bill was one of the first SammyxChalire Shippers (one of the reasons why he always invited Samantha for Christmas)

Nymphadora Tonks: PRANK BUDDIES! Tonks and Tulip used Samanthas knowledge about physics for pranks. But Samantha has one rules “don´t make me catch you guys as a perfect! AND NO EVIDENCE!”

Tulip Karasu: Also a PRANK BUDDY! Tulip and Carewyn were the people how find out, that Samantha loves to sing.

Barnaby Lee: I´m not sure, but i would say Barnaby had a little crush on Samantha once. There were on there first Date and he support her a lot. However, sometimes Charlie get a little jealous, when Samantha spend to much time with Barnaby.

Talbott Winger: Talbott is one of the people, how helped Samantha to become a Animagus. He try, but he can´t escape Samanthas Friendship. Especially both lost the mother and know how each other feels about that. He is the first one how know Samantha is a Half-Vampire.

Andre Egwu: Andre and Samantha are good friends. He always give her fashion especially (since Samantha has absolutly NO Fashion taste).

Charlie Weasley: What could I say? they love each other a lot and are also best friends. Charlie always think it´s absurd to call Samantha a Princess or weak. She is so powerful and had such a great fire inside. She is like a welish Green, but irish. On the other side, Samantha is maybe one of the few how never make jokes about his Dragon passion. Charlie is the only one how call her Sam, without making her angry.

Jae Kim : Jae teach Samantha cooking basics. And he discovered her passion for Nougat chocolate. So Jae alway ofer Samantha chocolate, when he needs her notes or someone for Private tutoring

Badeea Ali : Badeea trys to teach samantha how to draw, but Sammy has simple no talent.They like each other, but you can´t say there are closed friends.

Liz Tuttle :To be honest - Samantha don´t know what she should think about Liz. Samantha admit Liz passion for magical creatures and they can work together, but there aren´t really friends.

Diego Caplan : We all know Diego is a womenizer and he always flirts with Samantha (but she don´t understand the allusions). And after her identity as a half-vampire was realsed, Diego always wants a Duell, but he never win. :P

Fred + George Weasley : The twins became like little brothers for Samantha. There were never able to prank her. Samantha was the one how bring the idea of a own Joke article store to there mind. Samantha teached the twins the physics basics. As a Perfect she had a lot of work with this two!

Cedric Diggory : Cedric admired Samantha form the very beginning and want to be one of her friend. I am not sure, but maybe he had a little crush on her or try to impress her.

Merula Synde : Rival-Friends just in the typical way you can imagen. They both drag each other to her limit. They would never admit it, but they respect each other.

Ismelda Murk : Ismelda is maybe the only student on Hogwarts which Samantha simple don´t like. Ismeldas talking about the Dark art and how cool the dark lord actually is, makes Samantha angry. They both had one than more duell.

Beatrice Haywood : While Beas edgy emo phase, Samantha understand how she feels and Bea knows that. When her relationship with Penny was the worsed, Bea said she wished Samantha would be her sister. But Samantha know, this was just to hurt Penny, so she never takes this serious.

Percy Weasley : Like Cedric, Pery admired Samantha. Especially as a Perfect. It take a long time since he realise how much Trouble Samantha makes XD

Chiara Lobosca : Chiara is a high morally support for Samantha. They both has some kind of “We are monster”-Friendships.

Cherster Davies: The Ravenclaw Perfect has a hard time with the little Girl. He saw her potentional but cry for every point Ravenclaw lose because of Sam. (dosen´t matter how many points she earn before).

Sykpe Parkins: Samantha and Skype are Quidditch Partner, but not really friends. They had a excellent Teamplay. But they didn´t talk much outside the field.

Orion Amani: Samantha thinks Orion is funny. She likes his chilly style and he is a good listener. He is the first one how thinks Samantha would be a good seeker because of her inhuam ears.

Murphy McNelly: Murphy and Samantha are Puns buddys. They simple CAN´T have a normal conversation.

------------------- other characters--------------

Harry Potter : Of cause Samantha knows the story about the boy how lived. But she doesn´t had a lot to do with him. He is a friend of Ron and later Ginnys Man and Samantha likes that. She also likes his cheeky styl.

Ron and Ginny Weasley : Both are like siblies for her. Sometimes Ginny calls Samantha her big sis, which makes her really proud. Ron thinks that Samantha is really cool and can do everythink.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley: Both like Samantha a lot. She is always welcome. Athrus always aks her about muggle stuff and her fathers hospital. Mrs. Weasley had a time where she thought Samantha and Bill would be a great couple, but she is also very happy after Samantha and Charlies ends together.

Fleur Delacour : First Fleur thought Samantha would be also against her wedding with Bill. Fleur even thought Samantha could be in Love with Bill. But she relaise very fast Charlies and Samanthas feeling for each other. Before the wedding Fleur and Samantha becomes good friends. (also because Samantha was never agains this relationship and always think Fleur is a badass, which she likes.)

Canon MC´Friends

So, this is important again XD. Long Time ago, I ask how wants to be Samanthas friend and sometimes they already interact with each others. So here is the list.

NOTE!: If you want your MC also be Samantas Friend and in my Comic, just say it! On the other hand - if you read your MC´s Name here and don´t want that or you are not happy with there relationship, just say somethink too! So lets go (why I am nervous???):

Glennis Augustine - belongs to @etoilesbonbon : A creative Gryffindor. Samantha meet Glennis in flying class and tries to help her. Later they become friends. They meet often in the Courtyard. Glennis is drawing and Samantha plays Guitar (Glennis could wish the songs for the right mood for her Drawing.

Dusty Emerald - belongs to @dusty-emerald-hphm : Dusty is a Slytherin Perfect. Samantha just randomly said she really likes Dustys styl and however they start talking and become friends. They both like swimming, so if the weather allowed it, they do swim races in the black sea and giggle after that. No matter how wins.

Aishwarya Mehra and Arjun Singh - belongs to @hogwarts9 : Samantha know there are Royals at Hogwarts which belongs to Gryffindor, but she didn´t know who and to be honest, she didn´t care about Royals and stuff. One day she sit for breakfast on the Gryffindor Table ( the clique dind´t really care about the house separation) Arjun and Aishwarya sit beside her and for one reason Samantha starts talking gaelic with a lot of gesture. And because Samantha is a clumpsy Idiot, she hits Arjuns Glass and poured the hole pumpkin juice over his clothes. She just realized later, that this two are the Royals. After that she waits the half day in front of the Gryffindore Common Room to apologize to both. So the three become friends and train together there magic (Duells and stuff).

Keira Jones - belongs to @hphm-brooke : will follow

Brooke Atkison belongs to @hphm-brooke : will follow

Kai Williams belongs to @hphm-brooke : will follow

Ryan Seacrest belongs to @hphm-brooke : will follow

Niky Dona belongs to @nikyiscreepy: Niky, a hufflepuff. was near by losing control about her “Lilith” again and runs in the forbidden forest. Before she losing control completely, she heared a strange sound. “I-It that a guitar? In the Forest?” She follwoed the sound and she founds - Samantha! Sitting on the ground, humming and playing gutiar. They start talking and Samanthas music calms Niky down. This is the start of there friendship. To calm her down, Samantha would sing everywhere and at any time.

Kyril Vasiley - belongs @kyril-hphm : A Tsunlytherin young and shy Slytherin. First Kyril was just a quit Boy, how was near by Jae. One Day Samantha had a Duell with Ismelda again, and even Ismelda try to cheat Samantha wins. She thought no one saw her, but acutally Kyril was in a corner wachting. He takes all his courage and talk to Samantha. She realise that he is “just” a Tsundere and very shy, but she likes him and both become friends. Even Samantha puts him sometimes in uncomfortable situation, they trust each other and both know that the other one accept them the way they are.

Night Rhea - belongs to @nightrhea-hphm: Night is a joyful slytherin and a beater in the Qudditch team. So she and Samanther met the first time on the matchfield. First Samantha was a Chaser. After Samantha got some of Nights Hits and was still on her broomstick, Night was impressed and talk to Samantha after the match. One Day Night found out, that Samantha can play Violin too. She coudn´t understand why Samantha don´t want to play anymore And Samantha tells her the Story about her mother. Night persuaded Samantha to play a song for her and Samantha acutally plays an old irish song. So, when Night feels lonely Samantha plays on her violin.

Finn McGarry - belongs to @theguythatdraws: A Gryffindor with a scar over this face (and more). He maybe looks scary in the first place, but acually he is very kind. The first time he and Samantha interact with each other was because he heared Samantha swears in gaelic. And since he is also irish and speak gaelic, he talk to her. Both like weapons and fight without wands, so both sneak into the forbidden forest for training. And actually Samanthas Uncle Andrew likes Finn a lot, so when he is in Town he takes both to the three boomstick. Most visitis ends (to be honours EVERY Vistis) with a drunken Finn and a drunken Samantha talking gaelic and no one knows what they say.

Helene Adler - belongs to @heleneplays: A Badass Ravenclaw. One Day Helene catched Finn and Samantha while training in the forbidden forrest.... and she join it. Before that Helene and Samantha were mistaken sometimes because both are blond Ravenclaws (and Helene sometimes wear a ponytail). After they become friend, both make jokes about that or even confuse new students, how didn´t know them. And Helen really admired Samanthas Aunt Hel O´Connell.

Luna Silvermore - belongs to @lunasilvermorny: A tall Ravaneclaw Girl, how is a beater of the Qudditch Team. Of Cause Samantha saw Luna before in a few classes or on the Ravenclaw Table in the great hall, but Samantha was to shy to talk to her (even Samantha loves her Hair color!). And then both start playing Qudditch and one day Luna said she will protect Samantha on the match field no matter what. Don´t ask why, but this flip the switch in Samanthas Head and she starts talking like a waterfall (where she also said how much she loves Lunas changing hair color). After a few seconds of awful silence (where Sam thought about simple running away) Luna burst out laughing and they start talking normal. Samantha and some other girls found out about Lunas crush for Rath and the Hogwarts Wingwomen Club was born. Also both like to drink with each other. And when they are drunken, they had stupid ideas. Really stupid...It´s a wonder Hogsmead isn´t bruning down XD. And both like watching muggle TV with Alice.

Roger Lopez - belongs to @hphm-roger: A kind Slyhterin. He likes macigal creator and sometimes he goes for a walk into the forbidden Forest. That where he met Samantha for the first time. Stucked....in a Tree. She had a bet with Finn and Luna how can climb the hightest tree. Samantha won, but was unable to climb down. Luna and Finn where supposed to get help but didn´t return atm. Roger start laughing and said Samantha reminds him of a cat. And this associationstay for the rest of there friendship. And of cause Samantha loves his different Hair colors and always want to touch it, if it change.

Elaiza Schuyler - belongs to @annabelle-tanaka-official: Elaiza is a Ravenclaw girl and one of Samanthas first friend, since there share a room. Samatha is fascinated how many languages Elaiza speaks and even teach her some gaelic sentences. Since Elaiza is bad at flying class and Samantha at Herobolgy,both help each other with this subjects. Both like cooking, so sometimes they sneak into the kitchen and cook or bake something.

Williamina Schneider - belongs to @leamontee : A cute and cheerful Gryffindor Girl with a hard backstory. Willie was there when Samantha yelled at her father in the end of the 3rd year. It reminds her of her own story. After the summer holidays she and Samatha were in the same compartment in the Hogwarts express and they start talking. Willie thinks Samantha is brave and both wants to break the vaults curse, so they work a lot together.

Clara Iln - belongs to @lins-hogwarts-mystery : will follow

Lillian Baker - belongs to @thehogwartscursebakers (don´t know why, but i can´t tag her :( ): Lillian is one of the Ravenclaw Qudditch chaser. She met Samantha in her 2nd year, when both become part of the Quidditch team. And both met each other in the duell club, where there start to talk to each other. Both had no fashion sense, but both love shopping with Carewyn.

Stephanie - belongs to @hanihonii - will follow

Ryan, Cara, Sara and Conor O´Donnell belongs to @unfortunate-arrow: Samantha and the O´Donnells don´t have an easy start. Samantha was mistakes as a O´Donnell and there a lot of people who were thinking the O´Donnells were half-vampires. So when they finally meet each other there were like “ STOP STEALING MY NAME!” Maybe they even had duells. But in the end they all realise, that this fight is stupid, and they all become friends. But they will still mistaken.

Alice Beaumont belongs to @mizutoyama: Alice is a very closed friend and one of Samathas Roommate. Alice is one of the few person on this earth woh can wake Samantha up, whitout realse her morning beats. So Alice is the reason why Samantha is able to stand up in the morning and brush her hair. After Samantha returns to her father, Alice visit her sometimes in the holidays and they watch muggle TV with Luna.

Wendy Gordon - belongs to @drinkyoursoupbitch : Wendy is one of the few people at Hogwarts how understand gaelic, since this Ravenclaw girl is scottish. Most of the Time Samantha speaks without irish dialect unless she talks to Wendy. There both are in the same arithmancy class, so both study a lot together or talk about Quidditch.

Tu Liang - belongs to @wangxianforever000 : Tu is a Gryffindor Girl and definitely a chaotic Dou with Samantha. There are in the same Rune class, plays Qudditch and both are bad at posion. Tu meets Samantha in the great hall and thinking form the very beginning, Samantha is funny. Somehow (don´t ask why, no one knows), every time they want to rock, things will end up chaotic, Both are very protective, so they keep an eye on each other. Sometimes Samantha sit on Tus head as a Crow.

Flavio Ceccere - belongs @sirfluffig: After Chester Davies left school if was on Flavio to take care about the ravenclaw house honour and keep an eys on Samantha.He is Samanthas best study buddy and they meet every week in the libary. Since Flavio loves coffee, Samantha want to try it too. But non of them know, that coffee works a lot on Vampires. So Samantha was the rest of the day like a Duracell Bunny. (Poor Flavio^^;). Samantha helps Flavio to relax time by time since he is always serious.

Carewyn Cormwell - belongs to @carewyncromwell : A Slytherin Perfect and definitely Samanthas mama-bear-friend. Both become friends after they realise how much they both love music and singing. Carewyn and Bill were the first one how had the theory, that Samantha and Charlie are more then friends. She and Tonks developed some kind of special sense which called Samantha “The Mama-Bear-Antenna”. Carewyn were always a morally support for Samantha, which saw Samantha cries.

-----------------------------------------------------

Her Family

Claire O´Connell - Mother

coming soon

Song that descibes there relationship - Celtic Woman - Tír na nÓg ft. Oonagh

Matthew O´Connell - Father

coming soon

Song that descibes there relationship - Celtic Women - The New Ground / Isle Of Hope, Isle Of Tears

Andrew O´Connell - Uncle

coming soon

Song that descibes there relationship - Dropkick Murphys - James Connelly

Helga O´Connell - Aunt (Profil link)

Song that describes there relationship - Nightwish - Elán

Angela Roberts

Song that descibes there relationship - Linkin Part - Numb

Jacob “Jack” Roberts

Song that descibes there relationship - Hoobastank - The Reason

32 notes · View notes

cleverangelwasteland · 3 years

Text

The story of X and social media

X loved to draw since they were a child . X bought pencils , coloring books when they were young and they did everything they can to draw everyday. X was happy . Also X was proud and showed people their work .

X’s work was far from good but still they were content . Then in 2012 a platform called amino was created. X was sharing their work and getting feedback . X was still happy. Later on that year an app called Instagram launched .X was skeptical but at the same time excited to use this new platform . X posted everyday , and even though they started with 10-15 likes they were improving . Fast forward to the end 2015, X is no longer very young and have a message they want to convey in art .X started to get criticism about anatomy which they took well and asked for help in anatomy . X and X’s sensei ( the helper they met online ) had body drawing lessons daily for the entirety of 2016 and 2017 . X drew poses , shapes , studied the anatomy of the body , the muscles , read books and watched many many videos . X even posed for the drawings to see if the pose works . X was happy they were learning something . Also X would repeat the same pose many times and would split the body to shapes and boxes and would practice along late hours along with schoolwork so basically X’s day was full with little time to sleep. X also memorized the muscles and read many anatomy books like the anatomy for sculptors . They also learned loomis method for faces and these 2 years were just practice to the point that x drew 300 drawings in a month between poses and copied work so X can get a better learning perspective.

Opposite to X’ s sensei’s opinion , X decided to recheck on their Instagram which they haven’t done in 2 years . Not even once. X drew something and posted it while being proud of their improvement but they got way less engagement than what they had before .X was still not discouraged and decided to try again so they did a drawing that shows everything they learned , using a full body pose with an angle and shading . basically everything they could do and spend a long time working on what they thought was their masterpiece .

X uploaded and got a comment , which they hastily checked . The comment said the following : “ You suck , I’ll go away to clean my eyes , your drawings should be used as memes .”

X was heartbroken , ofc they were sad and they discussed it with sensei who said that is why they were against reopening X’s instagram account . But X is so used to not getting their way in life , that they decided to go on with it . X posted a few things and some comments were “ your anatomy sucks , study anatomy .”X felt like someone punched them and said to themselves “ But this is what I have been doing for the past 2 years .” X thought : “ I quit here , I quit what I already had just to study anatomy and that is the result?!” Still one of X’s work was featured by a big page and got 1K likes.

Nonetheless X still got back to drawing . Sensei suggested that X draws more real life drawings so X started drawing from a show that was starting called “ game of thrones “ X drew women , men , creatures , objects , perspective and would still repeat it until it looks right and would ask their old art circle to fix-doodle on their work . X felt like they have a huge bag of knowledge and a 3D camera in their head . If X focuses and closed their eyes they could see the human body from different angle realistically . Sometimes that sumo wrestler X drew to broaden their knowledge on body types would haunt them in their nightmares.

X stayed like this till 2019 . Forgot to say X was bullied ( back in 2014 )at school , made fun of and always alone. X wasn’t liked and that is where X’s habit of pleasing everybody triggered . X did whatever everyone else wanted eventhough they weren’t included in their activities and was a cast out.

X cleaned the gym area. X picked up stray balls in sports class . X made sure to please the teachers . X signed up to everything just to feel a sense of achievement . X was unhappy and no longer had the time to draw. X then bought a digital drawing tablet as they can no longer carry their art supplies around when they were in college .

X drew everywhere . In the breaks , lunch break , just name it and they’ll be drawing. X even met someone who took a course in the art department and offered to do their art homework as the other party was struggling. The other party got a 96/100 and came back thanking X . X felt a bit of validation like maybe their work is worth something debunking X’s thought about maybe being delusional . X suddenly grew quicker on social media , Not so big but since 2012 to 2018 they only had 400 followers so less than a follower a week . X suddenly jumped to 600 affirmating to them that at least they are doing something right . Previously X joined a drawing circle in their local community . And they were treated as non existent so the notion of building an audience was something new to X . They never had friends or any kind of support and they didn;t believe someone would take the time to comment on their work . Still X was still getting more and more comments about anatomy making X wonder where did they go wrong , so they decided to go back to square one and have a new anatomy study month .X went to youtube , discord servers and reddit s well as more anatomy tutorials by established artists and more books .

X would get a skeleton and lower its opacity then draw above it all the muscles shapes ( not their name really ) from memory . X compared it with the scientific schematic and found it very similar . Later on that year and after 7 years +of actively drawing , X got their first commission , at first they refused to be paid as if they weren’t open for commissions but the commissioner insisted . later on X did a few commissioned work and a customer was so happy they paid extra . This kind of boosted X’s self esteem as they were having a hard time . Forward to 2020 X did many commissions but it is the year where everyone keeps commenting on X’s work “ Go study anatomy , you lack in the basics , you look like you just started “ . X felt a big stab in the back as during those 8 years they have been active in , X studied anatomy solely for a total of 2 years and a year in short term practices . X went back and forth to the basics so many times and didn’t skip a day of practice.

X’s mental health and self esteem quickly deteriorated as they would leave social media then realize they need it to make money and come back to it . X haven’t had a commission in a while which is another blow to their self esteem.

Also X refused a job offer to draw for an animation which will be broadcasted due to the blow to their self esteem.

Also X saw online many artists making so much money by selling art where there are clear anatomical flaws and they get all the love and positive comments unlike X . X started doubting their eyes , thinking “ maybe I am really delusional “ ... Some of those artists have edgy scribbled lines in their lineart , really high eyes leaving no space for the cranium , drawing side views without thinking of the thickness of the body and drawing ears way below the ear zone . sometimes far eyes so the eyes reach the “ forbidden ear zone” necks starting from after or before the ears , people not taking into consideration the the deltoid muscle is like a “ cap “ above the biceps and so on . But these people were more popular than X and made more money/ were very successful .

X didn’t understand why they were getting the anatomy comments and why these other people were not. X felt that they cannot use their knowledge anywhere but still felt that they know a lot .X feels like their knowledge deserves more and that all the pride they felt knowing this much doesn’t deserve this . X changed their style and anatomy 20 times this year and experimented with everything but they couldn’t please everyone and more and more people tell X their improvement looks a day old not years old when they post redraws.

X lost pride in their work and the joy in drawing because of how social media and the unfairness of its algorithms affect them , instead of making really good artists popular it made a message that you need to have luck and not really the basic skills and that you could get away by tracing or copying.

Now X sent this to this account as they are asking for help , they deactivated everything and are sitting there just with knowledge and 8 years of efficient hard work betraying them .X lost their friends , their family and all support they could have . X asked the mod to share their story so others are aware how social media functions for artists and how many people are quitting because of it . Send us your story so we could feature yours too for awareness.

#art #artist #art struggles #artstruggles #popular #story #confession #instagram #algorithm

1 note · View note

things-that-nobody-asked · 4 years

Note

I know that you do more child!Stiles with adult!Peter and make it really creepy, but I was wondering if you could do a murder husbands fic with adult Stiles and have them both be a little less disturbed? I really like your writing, even if it’s a bit too dark for me! (Most murder husband fics are post fire, so it would be cool to see one where the fire never happened)(I also really like magic Stiles) Sorry for this being so long!

I'm happy to know you enjoy my writing even if its not completely your cup of tea. Sorry if this took a long time, I had some problems with my wifi and myself.

Honestly, this is the best first request, I loved it and I hope you like it!

Here you can find it in Ao3. Thanks to @drminty for beta it <3

...

After dinner, Peter volunteered to do the routine patrol, saying that, since he was going to retake his duties as Left Hand, he would have to do it again. Talia smiled at him and he rolled his eyes without venom.

He wouldn't say it at loud, but he missed his family.

While he was walking for the reserve, he couldn't help thinking about Cora's friend.

He could remember the sheriff's son, a cute little thing, always full of energy and with somethng to say. He never talked to him, but he had one memory about the kid that he couldn't forget.

A very curious memory.

His niece always talked about him in their Skype calls and the things she said were flattering, and for her to esteem someone so much, his sister finding him charming, the pack to love him, and even Derek liking his presence, he had to be interesting enough.

He could admit to himself he was disappointed when Cora said he was busy and wouldn't go that night.

Still thinking about it, he heard something not very far from him.

Loud and wet.

He started to walk to the source, and with every step he gave, the noise became a little clearer.

There was a voice.

Five steps more and he smelled something he didn't want to smell again.

Wolfbane.

Mountain ash.

Hunters.

Peter immediately ran, faster than he had ever done, his senses focused on getting at the place from where the noises came. His mind wouldn't think on anything else.

And clearly it couldn't, since he didn't notice what the voice was saying until he got there and was taken aback by what he saw: bodies on the ground, no pulse, the smell of wolfbane and mountain ash betrayed their nature, their corpses were gored and mangled.

But that wasn't what had his attention. No.

The thing that had his attention was the attractive young man who was hitting the bodies with a feral violence. And a bat. Discharging his rage even though it was obvious life abandoned them a long time ago.

His scent was familiar, a mixed of ozone, petrichor, honey and fire, and he was surprised at finding himself not hating the last one.

“You had to come fucking today”

Hit.

“Why today?”

Hit.

“I'm so close to finishing my project and you come today!”

Hit.

“Do you know how many days I've been without sleeping for that shit? A lot”

Hit harder and the hunters' faces couldn't be called that anymore.

Peter thought on Cora, what she said about her friend not liking being interrupted when he was doing something important and having a rather bad temper when that happened.

He knew who was the person in front of him.

He gave another step and the violent boy stopped and turned to him, and when the amber irises were over him, Peter was breathless.

Wild, deep, calculating. So much crude and dangerous power.

He was assessed by the beautiful crature, who relaxed after doing it. The pretty pale face lost its sharpness and Peter didn't stop himself from contemplating the stars that decorated it.

“You must be Peter” he said.

Peter couldn't control the wolfish grin that formed on his face.

“And you must be Stiles”

The boy just gave him a mischievous smile.

Peter wakes up, he lets out a yawn and rubs his eyes with his right hand. He looks at his chest and can't help the smile he makes for the scene he sees.

His lover sleeping peacefully, his close eyes fluttering and little snores slipping from his mouth.

Peter knows he's smiling like an idiot and he doesn't care.

He lows his head and leaves a kiss on Stiles' hair, then stays there for a moment, just enjoying the sweet scent of his mate.

Ozone. Petrichor. Honey. Fire.

The moment was interrupted by a loud sound at his left, he turns and sees his boy's phone alarm ring. He tries to turn it off without moving too much so he can continue sleeping with Stiles, but before he gets at the phone, he feels movement on his chest.

He looks down to meet two captivating eyes, looking at him with so much love he finds it hard to breathe.

That beautiful wildness it's still there.

“Good morning” Stiles says, still sounding sleepy and with a soft smile on his lips.

He touches his face with his left hand, Peter takes his wrist and passes his fingers over the bite mark placed there.

“You don't need to go” he says.

“I do need to go” the youngest man replies.

Peter frowns slightly, which makes him receive a short kiss on his jaw.

“After school I'm all yours, I promise”

“You're mine” Peter can't stop himself from saying.

Stiles just laughs before giving him another kiss.

“Yeah, I am. You're grumpy today”

After that, his boy gets out of bed, letting him see his lithe body that it's covered with one of Peter's henleys. Stiles leaves the room, surely going to the kitchen and make some coffee.

He takes a minute before getting out of bed too. He goes to the bathroom to do his necessities and brush his teeth, then goes to the closet, he takes a shirt, jeans, and starts getting dressed.

He goes to the kitchen and finds Stiles drinking his coffee, he looks at the table and smiles when he sees another mug, he takes it and takes a sip.

Just like he likes it.

Peter continues looking at Stiles while the young one finished his coffee, the young man lets out a satisfied sigh when he's done and leaves the mug behind him, he walks forward to Peter to give him a last kiss before going back to their room.

When he's gone, Peter starts making breakfast, hearing his lover get ready.

Just when the food is ready he hears Stiles coming to the kitchen, he turns and finds him using another one of his henleys and black jeans, his backpack in hand. He sits on the table, Peter takes the plates and sits too.

They eat in silence, touching their feet under the table from time to time.

Peter takes the plates again and puts them on the sink for later, he walks at the door and takes his keys.

“You know, I could go by myself” Stiles says behind him, like he always does.

He nods. “You could” he says, like he always does.

The boy rolls his eyes fondly and then gets out of their house, being followed by Peter.

They get into the car, Stiles lays down on the passenger seat, still a little tired, and they start to drive to the young man's college. During the way, they take hands while Stiles hums softly.

After fifteen minutes they get to their destination.

Stiles straightens and leans to give him a kiss, he puts his hand on Stiles' nape and deepens the kiss, letting their tongues and purring at the low moans he hears. He nips his lower lip before Stiles draws away.

“I'm all yours”

Then he gets out of the car.

Peter waits a minute before driving home.

Stiles was in bed, with his pajamas and special pillow, ready to go to sleep.

He was ready to go to sleep when he felt something.

He didn't know what, it was weird and it had never happened to him. It hurt, but not like his mom's words, the burning scratches of her nails, the tact of her hand against his skin, or the suffocating feeling of her hands around his neck while being drowned.

A ghost pain. Sharp. Constant.

Feeling confused, Stiles got out of bed and started to walk downstairs. In the living room, he took the phone and dialled the number of the fire station.

“The Hale House is on fire”

He hung up, went to his room and got in bed again.

He didn't close his eyes.

Five minutes later, he heard his dad being called, getting dressed in his work clothing and closing the door.

Then Stiles slept.

The next day, his dad wasn't home yet when he woke up. It was sunday, so he took his time to make breakfast for himself and a lunch box for his dad. He didn't want to get dressed so he stayed with his pajamas and set his way at the sheriff station.

While he was walking he could hear people gossiping between them, in that tone of voice that pretended to be a whisper but wanted to be heard by others.

Hales and fire were the most used words.

Stiles continued walking until he was in front of his dad's work and then in front of Tara's desk. She leaned on the desk to see him and smiled.

“Hi, Stiles! Did you come to bring your dad his lunch?” the kind woman asked, not pointing out at the fact that he was in pajamas.

“Yes”

“He's a little busy, you can sit there and wait for a moment”

Stiles noded and sat on one of the closest chairs.

Being there, he noticed people next to him: a girl about his age who was moving nervously, a teenage boy with a blank face, and a young woman who couldn't stop biting her lip.

Cora, Derek and Laura Hale.

He looked at the floor, trying to not put his gaze over them, feeling a weird sensation with their presence.

A couple of minutes passed until the door of his dad's office was opened and he looked up, seeing his dad coming out of there and being followed by two people. He recognized the tall dark-haired woman and the handsome blue eyed man as Talia and Peter Hale.

Stiles waited until they thanked his dad and started to walk away from him, then he stood up and walked at his dad.

He felt a look over him but ignored it.

He was beside his dad and saw the Hales go, after that, he turned to his dad.

“Your lunch”

“Thanks, kiddo” he said, tired, like he had been sounding for some time.

Stiles noded, said goodbye to Tara, and went home.

He passed the next two weeks watching the Hales, learning their routine, sometimes going close to their house. He knew he could get in trouble but his curiosity didn't let him stop, he needed to know what happened.

Flashing eyes, fangs and howls was what he got.

A monday he sat with Cora Hale during recess, she looked at him, clearly wondering what wanted a kid one year younger to do with her.

“I'm the one who told the firefighters to go to your house, I know you and your family are werewolves, I think I'm something too. Help me” he said.

Her eyes widened.

“You're not lying”

“I'm not”

She looked at him, let her eyes flash for a second.

“Sure”

“Are you ever gonna tell my mom what you are?” Cora asked.

They were in his house.

“Maybe. I think. One day. I don't know” Stiles said.

She sighed, already knowing that was gonna be his answer. She sat properly on his bed and looked at him, that look that said she wasn't happy with him but still couldn't be angry because she loved him.

“You know, I can continue bringing books from the library all that you want, but it would be easier to train your shiny powers-”

“Spark”

“-if you had someone to help you” she said.

“You help me”

“Someone who is not thirteen”

He sat properly too.

“I'm good with you” he shruged. “I've always been a self-taught person”

“I know that” she said with a hard tone.

Stiles grimaced, he didn't want to touch that topic right now.

“And I'm going well with just the books. I already learned how to hide and change my heartbeat, hide my steps, my scent, muted noises, burn stuff, paralyze things and break bones, and in only two years. I would call that good progress”

Cora looked at him a little longer before she sighed.

“Okay, yeah, you're doing fine on your own. I still think you should tell mom about it”

He shruged again.

“I'll do it, just not really soon”

His friend gave up at the end, knowing she wouldn't win this battle, and three hours later she went back home.

At the door and saying goodbye to her, he remembered they needed groceries, so he took some money and got out.

In the way at the store he made a mental list of what he had to buy since he forgot to make one, he didn't need to buy a lot since it was only him and his dad, but he needed to know if he had enough money.

After half an hour in the store, Stiles came out of the establishment, happy he got everything he wanted and still had extra money.

He was going to go straight home when he felt something.

A ghost pain.

Similar to the one he felt when the Hale House was in fire.

He started to walk to a hardware store, even though he didn't know why and he had never gone to that place before. Inside there, he walked, passing next to ropes, wires and batteries, until he got to a hallway with tasers.

There was a woman.

Blonde. Tall. He would probably find her pretty if she didn't make him want to open her chest, take her heart and step on it until it was just a bloody mass of skin and nerves.

She turned to him, then smiled.

“Well, hello” she said, an amused voice that just made Stiles want to cut her tongue.

“Hello” he said, trying to hide the dicomfort he was feeling.

“Are you lost?”

He shaked his head.

“Oh, then you want one of these?” she pointed at the tasers.

Stiles noded. He walked to her.

“They seem fun”

The woman laughed. And he just wanted to rip her throat.

“That's something curious for a boy like you to say. I think I like you”

He wanted to gouge out her eyes.

“I like you too, what's your name?”

She looked him up and down, she didn't speak for one full minute.

“Catherine”

Lie.

“K or C?”

“With C”

“It's cute”

“And yours?”

“Michael”

They stayed in silence for a while.

“I should go, my parents only gave me five minutes”

He started to walk away from her, but her voice stopped him.

“Weren't you going to buy one?”

He looked back at her, then smiled.

“My dad said I could see them and tomorrow he would buy it. I think I want one like yours”

And he got out of there.

Stiles went home, put the groceries on the fridge and the pantries, then took his phone and texted Cora.

Ask your mom if she knows a female hunter whose name has a K

He waited two minutes before he got a reply.

Cora: She started to shake, asked me why I wanted to know and then said Kate Argent

Cora: Stiles what happened?

He let out a curse.

What did Derek say was his last girlfriends name?

This one only took a minute.

Cora: Catherine

He let out another curse.

I have to go

He didn't wait for a reply. He hid his scent and steps, then he got out of his house and walked to the reserve.

It was a bad idea. He should have told Talia about it. It was a really bad idea.

Once he was a long way into the reserve, he started to walk more carefully, not wanting to step on something by accident. Stiles wandered for some minutes not knowing where to go, but then felt that pain again and his feet moved by themselves.

He quickly found Kate, who was being followed by four men, clearly hunter by the guns and various weapons they had on them.

Stiles wanted to hurt them, torture them, extend their death as much as he could.

But then he thought better about it.

He wasn't well trained yet, he didnt know how to fight, and the Hales were close and he still didn't want Talia to know about him.

So even if he wanted to take his time, he actually didn't have that option. Instead he chose the easier thing.

Fire.

Without a second thought, with all the power he had in him, he paralyzed the five hunters and, before they could begin to scream, muted them.

He walked to them and stood up in front of the only woman. He saw how her eyes widened in shock.

“I lied to you, Kate, I don't like tasers, I prefer other things”

In a second, the four hunters behind her were covered by high flames. The fire was so strong, that all that was left once the fire disappeared after a minute was dust.

Even Stiles was surprised.

“I didn't expect that”

Stiles shaked his head, sat on the ground, and then turned his attention again to the woman.

She was looking at him with hate.

“You hurt Derek, and I'm sure you were the mastermind behing the fire two years ago, so I'm gonna try to make it slower for you”

The hunter wanted to say something, even if she wasn't going to be heard, but she couldn't open her mouth before she was surrounded my fire.

Stiles managed to make it slow. He could see the way her hair burnt, how her skin turned red to be bleeding raw flesh and then bone, he saw her pretty face become an abstract painting of hate, disgust and pain.

When everything was done, he got off the ground and started to walk home.

He had to tell Cora what happened.

Stiles dodges the hunter before swinging his bat and cracking it against his head, looking at the way his neck breaks and how the bat and ground get covered in blood.

He hears the click of a gun and then a growl, he turns to see Peter ripping out a hunter's throat, his claws dripping crimson liquid and the body falling down. Before he can say something, his wolf turns to another hunter who is distracted and mercilessly jumps over him.

He's really mad because their dinner was interrupted.

He can't continue thinking about it when he sees from the corner of his eyes a hunter.

The man suddenly paralyzes and Stiles hits him on his ribs, making him fall. He starts to hit him repeatedly on his chest, stomach, legs and face, hearing how the bones break and the head loses its form. A puddle of blood and another fluids painting the ground.

He's a little mad too.

Stiles turns to the body with the broken neck and starts to hit it in a similar way, focusing more on his head than the other, hitting until no one could tell who this person was before.

He remembers this one shot Peter.

When he's done, he turns to his lover. He looks for a moment at the bodies close to him, seeing their open throats and chests, one of them without eyes and the other doesn't have skin in good parts of its face. His attention goes to his wolf, who was breathing heavily.

He walks to Peter, takes his hands and rest his head on his shoulder.

“You're indeed grumpy today” he says.

The wolf doesn't respond and stays still, Stiles can feel him taking breaths of his scent.

“I can't forget the first time I felt you. I was surprised by the little kid who smelles like ozone, petrichor, honey and fire”

Stiles takes his face, smiling when Peter leans on the tact.

He gets close and kisses him.

The kiss is needier than the one of this morning. He feels Peter putting one hand around his waist and one behind his neck, Stiles feels him graze his tongue between his lips and then chase his tongue. He moans when Peter draws away to bite his lips and then seeks for his tongue again.

Stiles can feel his mind going hazy as Peter sticks his hand under his shirt, passing his finger for his spine and then resting on his ass.

With all the self-control he has, Stiles moves his hands to Peter's chest and puts some space. He sees the sulky look on Peter.

“Though I'm not against continuing this later, I still want to know why you're so angry”

“I can tell you later”

“I want to know now”

His wolf makes a face before moving away. He watches him look for something in his pocket.

“I wanted to do this in another moment, but I guess I don't have an option”

He looks at Peter confused when the wolf raises his hand between them.

There's a ring in his hand.

Stiles stays quiet.

Seeing his lack of reaction, Peter puts the ring on his finger.

A ring. On his finger.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god”

Peter doesn't talk yet.

“This is- you are- that's why- now-” Stiles can't find the words.

The oldest looks at him with an amused smile while he continues babbling for another five minutes until he finally talks.

“Mieczysław”

Stiles shuts up.

“Do you want to marry me?” Peter asks.

He feels the tears falling from his eyes.

“Yes” he whispers. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I will!”

Peter smiles brightly at him, so pleased and happy than Stiles can't think on anything more beautiful.

He gives a step forward and takes Peter's lips with his.

The tears are probably mixing with the blood on their faces, they will have to get rid of the corpses soon, and maybe his dad won't be very happy with this.

But he doesn't care, they can take care of that later.

Right now, it's just them and the ring on his finger.

#stiles stilinski #peter hale #steter #request #I'm so happy I finished it #fanfiction #fanfic #murder husbands #my writing

3 notes · View notes

fanresearcher-blog · 5 years

Text

My Criticism of Planet Puto

You know, just in case HC never finds about my criticism...

“Hello HC! My original criticism was lost…unfortunately but I`m determined to get my message to you. I wrote it on Word first before posting it in your submit. If you managed to get my old submission, then I`m glad that it worked, but if it didn`t then that`s why I have this. So HC, I wanted to do this for a long time but I needed to be composed of my thoughts first. Now I`m ready.

In this submission, I want to talk about the character development of your personification characters and character design. I`ll also talk a little bit of the lore by the end of the post. It is not intended for hate, it is just criticism. I am also aware that Planet Puto is more like random posts instead of comics or something. The reason I feel like giving criticism is for HC`s improvement in some stuff and to voice my concerns. Before I write my criticism, I would like to praise HC for her/his dedication to creating that group of Actor AU (I don`t know their names but it`s the Aswang lady and her Spanish-y husband and they had twins). I love your work since it has good art but mostly it`s because you post so often. Reading your posts become a part of my everyday routine.

So before we get to the specific criticism and tips, I`ll talk about my general problems with the personification characters. It appears to be, that the characters are used for meaningless fanservice. When I`m scrolling through the Planet Puto archives, once in a while I will see characters drawn with sexy poses or they have ship tease with someone. If it is part of their character, then that would make sense. So is everybody…smutty? It seems like whenever there is a major foreign country, they would be shipped with Elena or Emilio. There are entire pages filled with random pick-up lines from Emilio and all the art of Elena with the guys.

I`m not saying that shipping is bad. I think it is perfectly fine for some countries to be attracted to Emilio or Elena. What I don`t understand is…why? Why do those countries find Emilio or Elena attractive? What do they see in them? Please don`t say, that they love the Phils because Emilio is pogi and Elena is maganda. If that is the reason, why they love those twins, then that is not real love at all. Also…they can`t just be compatible because of politics! It is like shipping someone with another person just because they had a good business deal. It also makes me wonder if a country can even decide who to love instead of who they are told to by their bosses. It`s sad no?

It would be best that you create the character before the ship. If you create the ship before the character, they may end up not being their own person. Also pair the ones, who are naturally compatible. It`s like food combos, there are basics like cheese and tomato go so well but when you experiment you will also find out that green mango tastes great with bagoong. Relationships, like food combinations, should be compatible. When people talk about food combos, you hear “The tomato`s freshness balances out the saltiness of salted egg” or “A bit of chili actually brings out the flavor of vinegar”, so characters should be like “He has a great mind but sometimes he can be really tough. She quite emotional but she can be the best friend you can ever have. Together, his heart softens and he learns how to get along with other people. She learns how to keep cool and keep things together now.” Characters by themselves are great, like peanut butter bread and jelly bread, but when you put them together, they are even better.

Be careful of red flags! If the relationship is starting to break boundaries, border on abuse, and toxic behaviors, please stop. It will just give the wrong message to the audience if you ship something like that. After all, in a food combo, if one of the ingredients are rotten it would make you sick. The pair should not be toxic to each other. You can still portray abusive relationships, but please don`t romanticize or encourage it because it`s not okay. It will never be okay.

You must develop them first, though. After you got their character, then you can start thinking about shipping. They must care about each other. That is the bare minimum for a good ship. In psychology, people are more likely to be attracted to someone they have in common with but not too much in common. The thing they have in common could be anything like background, motivation, interests, etc… After that, be careful not to make them too similar or too different. To add special garnish, if the work has a theme, then it would be best if that ship reflects opposite or different sides of the theme. That would make everything really juicy. Remember to not force it, if they can`t match no matter how hard you try, then they weren`t meant to be. Move on. The best ships will just come into place.

Summary for writing ships:

-They must care for each other

-It must be natural

-They must have something in common but different enough

-Experiment

-Avoid Red Flags

My other general problem is random sadness. I`m okay with sadness, but the sadness in Planet Puto is very random. Everything is happy then boom! Sadness. I don`t understand what it is supposed to mean, what am I supposed to know here? There is a pattern of using historical events for angst. It would be much better if the angst was more built up and more meaningful if the characters had character.

Let`s start with the protagonist, Emilio. Of all of the characters, he is the one I have problems with the most. I find it hard to discern a characteristic to him other than a pabebe, a flirt, and a pushover. I`m sorry if that is insulting, but that is my own impression. He may not be like that, but the way he is portrayed gave me that vibes. So what makes a protagonist likable and memorable? They should:

Struggle: Hmm…does Emilio struggle? I have been searching all the pages with Emilio in them to know. None of those posts indicate really big things. I try to dig deeper like a Language Teacher but it is hard for me to see the meaningful struggle. All I see is meaningless angst. The problems that Emilio faces are politics, love life, and history. Politics, I understand that it is hard to live with such a corrupt government. What I need to know is…how does this affect Emilio personally? Normally, citizens of this country will not feel affected by politics. Sometimes they will be affected, but most of the time they would live most of their lives without worrying about this. It would be best to show how it affects Emilio on a personal level, so I can feel why.

Love life, it is now a more human problem. I wonder why personifications aren`t marrying each other by now. So many feelings and ship tease! Are they forbidden? If that is so, then that would be impractical. There are so many countries in the world, so at least one government permits a country to marry another country. I also wonder why Emilio only dated Brunei. I remember you said it is because of the union of the Kingdom of Tondo and something Brunei. So does that mean, whenever a country is joined by political alliance or merging of kingdoms, are they are automatically in love or dating? Heartbreak happens, it is a human thing but I hope it isn`t too much of a problem. There is such a thing as move on, right?

History, now that could have a lot of potential. I think there is a lot of creative potential with this. The problem is…how do you portray it properly? The best thing to do is to look in history books and determine what he would be doing at a place in time. Give him a backstory based on the things taught in history. I know you are doing that, but I think it is unrealistic that Emilio is everywhere at once. How is he in a lot of historical events!?! There has to be an explanation. I think it could be answered by knowing his occupation exactly. What is his skills? What are his abilities? Does he have powers to help out? What does being a personification mean? These things could really help me understand how the plot works.

(Out of topic: What is being a personification? How immortal is he? What if we cut off a personification`s head? Would they die? What if we chopped off their fingers? Would they be crippled or would their limbs grow back eventually? In your WWII drawing, Elena asks Japan to finish off her useless brother, so are you saying he can die? What if no one saved Emilio?

Do personifications get paid for being personifications? Can they resign? Do they have insurance or vacation days? Do they get a bonus? Do they get senior citizen`s discount, after all, they are older than our grandparents? Why do countries have a girl and boy version? Let`s say Emilio resigns from being Phil, would Elena have another twin?

What jobs do personifications do? Are they immediately conscripted to be a soldier, kind of Captain America? Captain America is a super soldier and also used for propaganda. Do they go in missions assigned to them by their presidents? I remember your Brunei and Phil post, that countries might be super spies by their governments. Is it really something like that? Are countries allowed to have other jobs? I remembered a post, I asked if personifications can have jobs. Emilio answered that he wanted to be a general, so he is not allowed to? He is the amang bayan after all, can he use his influence to get the job that he dreams of. Why can`t he be a general? I also heard your answer that being a personification means that you help people, how do they help people? Do they work in social services? Military? Education? Counseling? Psychology? NGO?

Can they have superpowers or are they as strong as an average person?

PLEASE ANSWER THIS, EVEN IF IT TAKES TIME. I CAN WAIT. You don`t have to make a drawing for it. Just type or draw if you like, I just really need to know. What if you randomly gave the characters abilities out of thin air? That would be really confusing. You might risk yourself with plot holes. We would be left out with the information needed to know what their life is like. If they have more detail what is their job exactly, then I would feel like they are more relatable because they actually have a life of their own other than being a mascot.)

Not whine: Back to one of the general problems, random sadness. Emilio is the one with the most random sad posts, so he has that main problem. I don`t know about you but if you put it in real life. It would sound like whining (I`m sorry). What is whining? It is a negative connotation of complaint. Complain is to express grief, pain, or discontent. It is okay to show strong emotion possibly even required but it would be weird to hugot it a lot.

I already talked about the struggle part, not whining is the combo for struggle. Why? When someone suffers and they whine, suffer, whine, suffer, then more whining, then it would feel like handling an annoying baby. I know that they have pain but I would not respect them if they whine. They would be just like an average person to me, “That sucks, but the way you reacted made me not like you.”

Struggle makes the audience root out for the protagonist because it is natural human behavior to root out for the underdogs and struggle is what everyone goes through so it`s relatable. Not whining is what makes the protagonist respectable. Who has more virtue, a person that complains whenever there is something inconvenient vs someone who endures it instead?

A protagonist should be relatable hence, struggle, but they should also have something admirable because if they are so painstakingly average it is not any more interesting. We did not ask for reality to be displayed, we already live with that every day. What we want is to be entertained, learn, or feel something. A protagonist is someone we should admire, respect, and relate to.

In my opinion, Emilio in the Yandere!Adam event actually shows a bit of character and for the first time, I find myself surprised to actually care about a fictional character even if it is a little bit. What I am talking about, are the normal posts before that.

Be active: This is what makes an ordinary protagonist, entertaining. An active protagonist is a protagonist that shapes the plot while a passive protagonist is pushed by the plot. Why I believe that Emilio, isn`t an active protagonist, he is controlled by events. I have never seen an event that Emilio started because of his actions. For example, Yandere!Adam event, Yandere!Adam is the one that sets the events in motion, while Emilio just watches. I can understand since it is a Yandere!Adam event, it has to focus on Yandere!Adam. I just wish that there is an event of Emilio`s own doing.

(Out of topic: I feel like Emilio and Elena`s relationship isn`t that strong when I looked at the Yandere!Adam event. Letting your own twin die?! It affects me a little bit personally because I have a twin of my own. I would never imagine killing my own twin or letting that happen. According to research, boy-girl twins are even closer than same-sex twins, so they should be closer but they are not. Maybe it is because they were separated for so long, so that is why they aren`t that close.)

So in totality, I think Emilio needs a lot of work in his character.

IN SUMMARY:

-Please elaborate in his struggles

-Tone down the hugot

-Have an event focused on Emilio

-Add more to his backstory

-Tell us more about him

So that is all with Emilio. The other main characters like Elena, Luzon, Visayas, Mindanao, Manila, Cebu, and Davao don`t get enough characterization. They feel like caricatures and stereotypes sometimes. I don`t get who they are supposed to be like. Cebu as INTJ really? As a fan and deep researcher of MBTI, it is hard to see why Cebu will be that. In a nutshell, my impression of them are:

Elena: Oh I`m going to help Emilio, get shipped with so many dudes, and do most of the country work.

Luzon: I`m Miss Serious who is kind of like Manila by design. I`m also the boss and hate insubordination.

Visayas: I`m the guy that has such a peaceful life and brown streak of hair. (Apparently, I also betrayed my countrymen by siding with Spain.)

Mindanao: ….

Manila: I hate probinsyanos! Especially Cebu. I`m swimming in the trash and I have problems…with Cavite. #ampalaya #lifesucks #dacapital

Cebu: I hate Manila! (Hehe I speak Bisaya so he can`t understand) I also don`t get along with Iloilo.

Davao: Yay! (Anime hair).

(Out of topic: I get confused with the glasses on capitals. You said that it was a sign of progress and you put the capitals of other nations with it. It feels quite the opposite. People need glasses to see, so when someone becomes a capital do they become visually impaired? Or they don`t really need it. Does that mean that glasses on capitals are like crowns on royalty? It gets quite confusing to theorize over simple stuff like that. It seems to be too much of a coincidence.)

I`ll talk more about character design later which involves the main characters.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While writing this, I realized that foreign personifications were more developed than the main characters. They show more personality in a page than Emilio or Elena can show in 10 pages. For Adam, I thought his character design immediately gave me the vibes of someone who would be America. He tries to keep his reputation so he hides his brown eye with contacts and he hides issues to show that he is strong. When it came to struggling, I feel like that is implied. He seems admirable at some aspect and he sets the story forward as a colonizer.

His character design also gives an implication of his character. He has blonde hair and blue eyes (something that is associated with America), he has a blue business suit, red tie, and white underneath. That is the colors of the American flag! Colors like that are usually associated with heroes. I immediately saw a developed character in him. I wonder why that can`t be the same for Emilio or Elena.

Emilio`s outfit is a Filipino barong, he has sun-kissed brown hair, tan skin, and really, really light brown eyes. He is basically brown all the way through. While Elena has similar eyes, black hair, and light tan skin. Their outfits are traditional Filipino clothing. Luzon has a yellow tie and female business suit. Visayas has a red shirt and brown pants. Mindanao has a white robe with blue highlights. It seems like the island groups are wearing the colors of the Philippine flag.

Their character designs are okay enough. It could possibly do better but it`s okay. When I mean to do better, I think you should modify it a little bit so it can look better. Like add detail to the clothes, use a different shade of color perhaps (the current colors aren`t bad on its own but I think it is best to experiment), and I think that is basically it. I get that you gave them really unusual eyes, to give them an anime feel (Personally I don`t like it, but I would not criticize that. It is your own personal aesthetic decision.). Maybe give Emilio and Elena an alternate casual outfit, the traditional clothing makes them seem like they can`t move on from the past (unless that is what you are going for).

The provinces are what I have a problem with. I can see that you tried, but some of them need work. They look unique but not unique enough. Sorry but, I think they look like branded food from the grocery sometimes. The Mindanaoan personifications are the most unique, Visayan personifications vary in quality but mostly unique, and the Luzones personifications have the most problems. I think you should do a bit more work in Ilocos Region, Cagayan Region, Central Luzon, CALABARZON, MIMAROPA, a bit in Western Visayas, and Zamboanga Peninsula.

Ilocos Region:

Pangasinan. Despite being part of Ilocos Region, he isn`t exactly Ilocano. He is Pangasinense. That means he has a different ethnicity than the rest of his fellow region mates. His economy and some of the way he acts is a bit different from the Ilocos. In all means, he is different from the other members. So he should look a little bit different. His fashion sense isn`t that good either. Come on! That collar shirt looks too long and does nothing to improve the figure. The hair is all levels baduy.

Ilocos Twins. They seem too similar to each other. It seems like the only difference is how they tuck their shirts and belts, and that Ilocos Norte is wearing a fake mustache. The minuscule detail is that Ilocos Norte has his pants tucked in more neatly while Ilocos Sur has slightly loose pants. You can differentiate them a bit unless you like it that way.

In general, they are kind of plain. It would be best to add more variety and fashion sense. (Unless you intended it that way)

Cagayan Region, Zamboanga Peninsula, MIMAROPA, and Western Visayas:

Make them a bit more varied.

Central Luzon:

Pampanga. My DEAR province would never wear something like that! It`s like he didn`t move on from the past. Bro, it is the modern days not revolution. Besides, Pampanga would wear a uniform during that period of time. In reality, Kapampangans like to dress well to the point it is a stereotype. Whenever there is an event or casual life, we always like to dress up. I think it would be best if he has a more fashionable outfit or you add something to the outfit to make it more fashionable. The most fashionable ones always seem to be the Metro Manilenos. It would be good if there are provinces that are really, really fashionable. Fashion is a really big deal.

What feeling are you trying to invoke when you made him?

Bulacan. Really baduy. This outfit is something I imagined to be in a cheap fantasy project. The upturned collar according to historical events was a trend because it was “preppy”, so okay then I guess since it indicates character. The shirt is really plain and does not catch the eye. It feels like it was cheaply done. The color of mint green or light green used for the shirt does not add to his character. Light green is used to indicate the more positive aspects of green like growth or healing. Quite ironic, since his eyes were turned grey due to fireworks.

The outfit is even worse than Pampanga`s, at least Pampanga`s outfit is something that someone would wear but that is something I don`t see in a traditional outfit or normal clothes.

Others. Bataan`s outfit is also baduy as well as Nueva Ecija. Why do the girls always have to wear traditional clothing? What is Zambales ordinary outfit? He does not dive all day, you know.

CALABARZON:

I have fewer problems with these guys but...does Cavite have to always wear the uniform. I`ve seen him in a different outfit before. I wonder what his signature normal outfit would look like. Laguna wearing a baro`t saya…a classic for Planet Puto women. What does Quezon have that is different from QC? They are pretty similar.

GENERAL CHARACTER DESIGN

Character design is of utmost importance because it can determine first impressions and show personality. What I`m looking for in character design is Personality, Color Scheme, and Symbolism. Personality is displayed by the little details like a business suit to indicate the character`s work-like personality or a suspenders to indicate a person`s old-fashioned/gangsta/a cop/compliments the figure of a muscular body. Colors have multiple symbolisms, blue can indicate dependability but can also give a depressing feeling. Light blue has more positive connotations but dark blue indicates the darker aspects. Little things like the wear the clothes are worn can indicate if someone is a slob or a neat person. Clothing can also indicate the standard of living, fashion style, personal preferences, and attitude. After all, you are what you wear.

Of course, character design is not just clothing it could also be a hairstyle, how the body is built, and stuff like gesture can add a push of characterization. Do they wear their hair in a neat manner or they have long hair? Things like that can indicate the beliefs of the person or attitude. Are they muscular? It might indicate that they workout, part of the military, or some physically demanding work. Are they thin? It could indicate that they don`t eat much, but why? See, that adds more character.

IN SUMMARY:

-BE FASHIONABLE (unless it is part of their character not to)

-MAKE THEM STAND OUT

-ASK “Why would they wear this?”

-COLOR IS IMPORTANT (research their meanings)

-COLOR SCHEME IS ALSO IMPORTANT (make it still look good, unless it is part of the character to clash)

Optional:

-Give each character a signature color that fits their personality

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for listening to my character design and characterization criticism. The lore is really difficult to get into. The only lore I can theorize perhaps is the Yandere!Adam with his eyes. That is basically it. I want to know where personifications come from, how immortal are they, and their origins. How was Emilio made? Did he have parents? Or he just appeared into existence? How are Elena and Emilio twins? How are they related to Mindanao, Visayas, and Luzon? You know, questions like that.

I`m sorry if I was offensive or anything. I really mean the best.”

#planetputo emildaphilz criticism tips

6 notes · View notes

phoelogeny · 6 years

Text

I'm doing a thing I think.... My Connor 3D model part 1

So why I´m so little active? Well life in general but also cause smart me decided “hey let´s do this super realistic character for my assignment when I don´t even know the program”

And thus my spare time has gone completely into god damn getting this model to look like the reference and let me tell u

It´s been a ride

Zbrush is a damn difficult program to work with and I salut whoever can master it cause that is real life goals right there.

(kinda long post ahead but basically more of my process screenshots and a bit thoughts on how difficult 3D modelling actually is)

Here you can see how I completely messed up on human faces in the beginning and then what 8-10 hours did, though had to, like I usual have to when it comes to 3D models - fucking completely change the face several times and make new body parts (I was late on actually doing the basic forms oof)

I did get the volumes to work at first but there was still something horribly wrong with the face, far too little depth. I´ve learned that human faces have a lot of that. Which is super (not) fun while shaping one. And how one small change can make it seem like a completely different person.

Then we come to the phases we don´t speak of where me being a noob failed at making a body and clothes twice, though after another 15 hours I got there. For now.

Then more changes in the facial region (aka what I´ve used 80% of my time to do I need help) Followed up by this weird polygon thingy with polygroups...thingy that I´m surprised I even understand. I have to animate this thing too. Oof.

And now we´re getting closer to the current look on this abomination, that´s starting to sorta look like a man at least, even though the god damn balance is still off. And the texture is just horrible. Which is why I changed it soon after, to check how it actually looked. At this stage, I also realized humans have necks and this drastically changed the whole thing. Funny how one little change can do that much - which is the theme for the current version:

-cue dramatic drum roll or something-

After getting feedback from my class, while trying not to cringe at the lack of my skills, I fixed a few important features and key factors: Shoulders and legs. Or well - actually giving him shoes cause I hadn´t gotten there yet. I also gave him proper ears that kinda resembles them I hope, and again - gave him eyelids after about 5 tries where I accidentally forgot I had duplicated the head which is like 2 million points and suddenly had 10 million in the file. Whoops.

He still lacks eyebrows, which is extremely important to how you look, and his iconic hair and blue light, but that´s what I have to do in another 40 ish hours. Ye. I´ve lost track but I think I´ve used 50 hours by now. And I thought a 10hr rendering was time-consuming...

To sum this up before this post, that probably none will fully read but hey I wanted to share my process with yall, here are some things I have to work with tomorrow:

-Getting the volumes in the face correct

-Connecting the sleeves and jacket (long story short I kinda fucked up and my teacher has to show it to me. Again)

-EYEBROWS ON FLEEK BRO - have to use this advanced fibermesh thingy to try and give him hair strands - and eyelashes too

- Those EYES, are quickly painted on and looks too derpy so I´ll hopefully get that added sooner or later

- Folds in his clothes. Oof. One thing is drawing folds but another is modelling it. Have to connect the jacket and pants first though. And fix the collars on his shirt.

- Finishing the nice shoes I made in like an hour that of course symmetry didn´t work on and that can be an issue (a lot of terms difficult to explain sorry)

- Giving him his adorable tie and just - fix his iconic jacket in general. When I´m less of a noob hopefully.

- And of course: colours

I probs won´t do ALL that tomorrow but hopefully the most important ones so he wounds up looking like Connor.

I´ll pop back in here later when I´ve got more to show! uwu

#connor detroit become human #3d model #in process #rambles #long post #zbrush

4 notes · View notes

oh-beyond · 6 years

Text

The Postman AU - Part 8

Your parents tried to have children for years… They were desperate to conceive a child, almost gave up on the idea, until finally your mother got pregnant with you.

Fragile child, born underweight and prematurely. You were the light of their eyes. Now you were a teenager and still treated you as if you were going to get broken. Homeschooled and trapped in your house. You didn’t need anything from the outside world.

Nothing. Until you saw the postman one day.

Postman AU/Angst/Fluff/Smut

Lay x reader

Masterlist

< Part 7 - Part 9 >

“It was selfish of me. It is my fault. How did I ever think that this could work? It’s not fair on you son.”

“It is! I love her! I didn-”

“Goodbye Yixing. You may keep your job in the post. I will make them re-hire you”

“But I can’t just leave. I can’t leave, I don’t want anything, just don’t take her away from me.”

“This... what happened. She isn’t like any girl you might of known before.” Whispered your father defeated.

“I never knew any other girl.” That caught your father’s attention. “Yes! At my age. Please blame my inexperience, I didn’t mean t-”

“You do realise how uncomfortable this conversation is, do you?” Queried your father not expecting an aster from Yixing.

“Are you still here? What are you doing here? Yeobo, kick him out before I murder him right here.” Threatened your mother.

“Samo-nim, if you please just le-” but Yixing was interrupted with the biggest slap he’s ever had the bad luck to receive. The impact was so big that he almost fell.

You father held your mother’s hands and motioned to Yixing to go for now. Yixing bowed feeling his tears on his hot cheek that stung in so many levels. Physically and emotionally he was ruined.

His legs didn’t really carry him well. What was this heavy feeling in his chest? Was this really it? The end?

With difficulty he went down the stairs, he noticed how his hand shook as he turned the main door’s doorknob to leave. He saw Junmyeon leaning on the car while he talked on the phone. When Junmyeon saw him he placed his phone on his pocket and ran towards Yixing.

“Hey! Hey hey! Yixing? What’s wrong with you? You look almost paler than me, apart from that nasty cheek!” Junmyeon tried joking the situation out. “Are you alright?” He asked hooking his arm with Yixing’s.

“Jun- Jun- she...”

“Let’s go home. You are coming with me Xing.”

On their way back Yixing tried to suppress his tears but he couldn’t. As tears went down drawing lines on his burning cheek it reminded him of the reason. He wished to rewind... the ability of rewinding just 24 hours back. None of this would of happened now aware a 100% of the situation.

“Yixing it’s OK.” Affirmed Junmyeon.

“It’s not OK, I almost killed her because I am apparently a pig that cannot control himself, also her parents hate me and they now what happened, also the engagement if broken off. Junmyeon- I- I want to die.” Yixing’s voice was breaking.

“Alright Yixing, so she didn’t die, you are not a pig, and I know they cannot just break it off, both of you are adult-”

“She is 17!”

“She will be 18 in what? 3 months?”

“Eight!” Exclaimed Yixing.

“Well damn! I didn’t know, but like OK still. You are worrying too much, you should focus in your exams.”

“I will not continue, Moon Changwook just told me I could keep my job at the post office.”

“I will pay your tuition, you are not quitting! Not now that you finally are doing what you li-”

“Junmyeon I am not. I will go back to my mother. I just hope ___ can forgive me one day.”

“Bullshit Zhang Yixing. You cannot just leave. Is that how you love ___?”

Yixing burst into tears, he was weeping at this stage, so much so that Junmyeon was worried, he questioned whether to stop the car and give Yixing a hug.

“Yah! Yixing! What the fuck man!? Since when are you this weak?”

“I lost her Junmyeon. I lost her because I-”

“Nonsense! Let’s just calm down for now and think of how to fix this.”

*****

Nothing was done other than re-reading your text conversations you had... He read and reread them day and night. Junmyeon tried to get Yixing out of bed but it was impossible. In the end and after 2 days Junmyeon gave up and thought that it would be better if Yixing got out of it alone and whenever he was ready.

This time Yixing didn’t even have the will to visit your dad like last time. He knew that he was no longer welcomed. He wanted to keep a good image at least with your dad that seemed to be more understanding than you mother when it came to you.

But he was going insane, when his eyes closed and when his eyes opened your image accompanied him everywhere he went and in everything he did. He was done waiting, he couldn’t anymore, at least he needed to make sure you were alright. What if you were really sick? What if what happened between you was actually the new reason for a new sickness? He was thinking incoherently, as if he never studied medicine himself.

But what if... what if you were dying because you had sex with him?

*****

“What do you mean doctor?” Asked your father puzzled.

“What you heard, she is doing better. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her apart from being weak, and that, she’s been her whole life, so nothing new, but her hormones... everything is better. It was about time that she started to live a normal life, and... that boy is actually good for her.” Replied the doctor with a smile looking at your parents in the eye.

“So you are telling me that all them bruises and scratches that animal did on my daughter’s sensitive skin, and the stage she came back in was beneficial?” You mother inquired through her teeth breathing loudly.

“No. Certainly I didn’t mean that, but... being sexually active is not bad for her, she might seem young, but it’s normal and it definitely improved other things. I guess the boy was inexperienced that is ju-”

“Enough doctor,” interrupted your father “we got the message. Thanks for coming.”

It was true, everything was better, even your hormonal issues went to almost normal, it was just that fever that accompanied you always but nothing to do with Yixing.

It was very disturbing for your mother, she just didn’t want to hear that anything good came from Yixing, she thought she had gotten rid of him, but it seemed that sooner rather than later there will be another encounter.

The doctor left and your parents sat next to you, in silence, avoiding looking at each other, just looking at your innocent face that slept soundly.

“You know we have to do something about this Marie.” Said your father calmly looking at you.

“I hate him.”

“That is not coherent, you hate him, but ___ doesn’t. He’s done nothing wrong.” Your father made eye contact with your mother this time.

“The bruises that decorated your daughter’s skin says otherwise.”

“Marie please! I am trying to conduct a conversation here.” Your father’s voice raised making you open your eyes slightly.

“Appa.”

“Yes baby.”

“I want to see Yixing please. Please he must be so worried, I know he can’t handle being away from me. Why are you doing this to us? Appa, please.” You cried and gathered some strength to actually sit up.

Your mother was heart broken watching you beg your dad and not her, she felt that she was the reason of your misery.

“___ baby, it’s not that easy, he... he didn’t... he promised-”

“Please, I am sorry I am responsible for what happened, he didn’t want to.” You pleaded.

Your mother scoffed and stood up. “Yeah he couldn’t control himself, animal! He is just a filthy animal.” When the words left your mother’s mouth she almost regretted it immediately, but she was too stubborn to recognise it.

You started crying bringing your knees to your chest. “I just want to see him, please, I need him to know I am alright.” You voice sounded muffled as your face buried between your knees.

“Try to relax now. We will see what we can do.”

“Promise appa?”

“I promise honey, you are the most important thing in the world to me.”

Your dad kissed your forehead before tugging you again, the smile you gave as you closed your eyes, he somehow hoped your mother would see it. See how Yixing was the source of happiness they would never be able to provide to you, no money and no parental protection would ever replace Zhang Yixing.

*****

“It’s been a week, and all you’ve done is clean my apartment that doesn’t need cleaning.” Thundered Junmyeon watching Yixing as he ironed his shirts. “And that too, why are you ironing my shirts? I don’t want you to do that Yixing!”

“I want to feel useful, but you are right, I guess I should go back to my place.” Murmured Yixing looking down unplugging the iron.

“NO! Man you are not leaving until I see you are better. I want you to go back to your lectures.”

“We’ve talked about this, I will not do it. If I was studying before it was for ___.”

“And being a nobody is going to make ___ happy?” That came out way too harshly, Junmyeon didn’t mean it in that way and he realised late.

“All professions are something Kim Junmyeon.”

“Yixing wait! Wait man I didn’t mean it like that. Of course they are, and you know how much I love Baekhyun, he is cut for what he is, but you... you are a doctor. You were born to be one.” Junmyeon held Yixing’s shoulders as he tried reasoning with him.

“No I am not.” Cautioned Yixing removing his friend’s hands off his shoulders. “I have been a pain and I think I should go back home, I am doing better trust me.”

“Alright then, you are doing better so let’s celebrate.” Suggested Junmyeon.

“Sure Junmyeon.” Voiced Yixing as he moved to collect his belongings.

“No, I am serious, you know Luhan is in town again, he is staying at Minseok’s, and so let’s go for a couple of drinks. I’ll tell Baekhyun. Chanyeol will come I am sure Jongdae will join, it’s been long since we last met them. It will be great.”

“Not my thing Myeon-ah.”

“You are doing what I am ordering you to do because you owe me that much. Understood?” Junmyeon spoke knitting his eyebrows.

Yixing had no other option but to accept defeated.

Junmyeon insisted in dressing Yixing again, his suit pants ran a bit short but it was fashionable these days to show your ankles.

“I love you Yixing, you were born to look this luxurious.” Joked Junmyeon dusting Yixing’s shoulders smiling dumbly.

“Alright, thanks, let’s get this thing over with.”

“If you don’t make an effort to look like you are doing better and convince me then you will have to spend the rest of your life with me until you are alright again my friend.” Threatened Junmyeon making Yixing shake his head in discontent. “Don’t you want to spend some time with your friends? Don’t you miss us hanging out like we used to?”

“I do miss the guys, but we have grown up and your ways are not my ways, we are not children anymore and your interests are not mine.”

“Have some fun Yixing, live a little.”

“All I want is ___, you think I didn’t live because I never got drunk or slept with a 100 girls. Well I say you didn't live because you’ve never fallen in love Junmyeon.” Yixing surprised himself when his voice came out a little higher than intended.

“Checkmate Dr. Zhang, you are absolutely right, but for me.” Junmyeon embraced Yixing into a caring hug, “for me just try to enjoy yourself with us today, then we will sit down and try to figure out how to fix this, now that you actually decided to get out of the house. It’s a good start.”

Yixing corresponded the hug smiling. “Thanks Junmyeon, now let’s go have some fun.”

Junmyeon collected Baekhyun and Chnayeol on their way to the club where they were to meet Luhan, Minseok and Jongdae.

The guys were happy to see Yixing all dressed and looking forward to forget about his life issues momentarily, Baekhyun kept telling him how the place they were heading could make any man forget about anything and everything.

And he wasn’t lying, it was like entering hell itself, the way the bouncers made way for Junmyeon without having to wait in the queue and the way the crowd almost stopped doing anything they were doing watching the 4 elegant men make their way through the purple dim lit posh place made Yixing think how naive and ignorant he’s been all this time, places like this existed?

“Relax man.” Joked Chanyeol patting Yixing’s back making him walk a bit faster as his eyes couldn’t take the view all in one go.

The high ceilings and the crystal chandeliers, the decorations that looked as if almost everything was made out of glass, even the bar and the Champagne fountain. Making calculations of the money that was spent in building such a place or the jewellery that adorned the women’s necks and fingers. That is the way Yixing was looking at everything and everyone.

“Yixing you look like we have just kidnapped you from a school, relax your shoulders.” Baekhyun jested loving that his most righteous friend had finally decided on a fun night out.

“Oh there they are!” Announced Junmyeon finally spotting Minseok and Chen in the VIP booth that looked at if it suspended in the air, it’s flooring made out of glass too.

“But how- how is that... the booth it’s...” Yixing asked confused pointing with his finger at were Minseok and Jongdae stood leaning of the rail.

“It’s hanging Yixing, look see?” Junmyeon explained. “Come on, the view from up there is even better.”

Yixing followed his friends finally greeting Minseok and Jongdae who were delighted to see him after so long.

“Fucker how are you this good looking still?”

“Minseok hyung you look good too.” Replied Yixing shyly.

“But where is Luh-” Junmyeon cut himself when he looked further inside the booth, Luhan wasn’t waisting his time.

“He said he’s been working a lot lately and Korean girls are his favourite.” Replied Jongdae cheekily explaining why Luhan was being straddled by an impressive looking girl on the long couch.

“Hey Luhan! Yixing is here man!”

Luhan pulled away from that kiss that looked endless rubbing his swollen lips smiling at the guys, he asked the girl to move and he came to greet Yixing that he missed the most.

They spoke in Mandarin as the guys eyed the girl than sat in the white velvet couch waiting for her manly man to come back.

“Yah Lu, your whole face is covered in lipstick.”

“Damn it! I told her not to- but... Anyways Yixing so how is that I see you in a place like this?” Teased Luhan.

“I don’t even know myself, I guess I missed you too much that I made some sacrifices.” Exclaimed Yixing.

“We shall make this night unforgettable.”

It was a mistake for sure, soon the guys found company and even Junmyeon got distracted getting lucky with 2 ladies at the same time, he couldn’t form words as his crotch was being touched by a girl while the other kissed his neck. Yixing just wanted to go home but the choice and assortment of colourful bottles that looked like they could wipe any problem were too inviting not to try out.

He clicked his fingers and the bartender that also was a very attractive female leaned over smiling. “Yes? What can I get you?”

“I have no clue what you can get me, but surprise me with something heavy and not too bitter.”

“Not a drinker I take it, but want to forget.” She winked.

“Precisely, I don’t know what you are going to give me but please make it strong and straight to the point were I could pass out, that way we will go home earlier and maybe sleep tonight.”

The girl nodded mixing an series of liquids. “Pity, you look like you could have some fun without this stuff.” She chanted shaking the cocktail shaker.

“Not interested in anything that is not forgetting, please just-”

“Here it is.” She poured a blue substance into a glass with ice.

It burned as it went down his throat, tears forming while remembering everything that had happened between you two, almost feeling your skin under his fingertips. The same skin he would never be able to touch anymore.

“Another one.” He demanded.

“It’s quite heavy, I made it so you have one of those and you are served for the night.”

“Another one!” He cried slamming his hand on the bar.

She didn’t argue and by his third one he was just repeating your name, thinking to himself how good would it be to see you about... right now.

“Whoah there buddy? Where are you going?” Asked Baekhyun straightening Yixing.

“Pee, I need to pee or I’ll do it right here.” Yixing sounded funny, like he’s never heard him before.

“No no man you go, but need help?”

“With what? Getting my ding dong out and-”

“OK hyung! Never mind, geez...” Retorted Baekhyun.

Yixing walked with difficulty and Junmyeon noticed that Yixing was definitely drunk already, Baekhyun motioned with his hand that he was just heading to the toilet so Junmyeon relaxed in his seat letting the ladies continue their treatment on his needy muscles.

As soon as Yixing was downstairs he headed to the door and without much effort he found a VIP taxi ready to take him wherever he asked.

It took what it seemed like 2 seconds.

“Sir! Sir we have arrived, if this is the house you indicated.”

Yixing raised himself and finally smiled when he recognised the fence that surrounded your house, he smiled like dumbly and without thinking he opened the door of the taxi.

“Sir! Wait! I can drive you inside.”

Yixing sat back in his seat while the driver pressed the intercom button to be let inside.

“Sir are you sure there are people in the house?”

Yixing panicked, what if you had moved? A rush of soberness took over him.

“Try again! They are home!”

But nothing...

Yixing got desperate and went out of the car, he held onto the fence crying like a baby.

“Sir? Would you like me to take you somewhere else?”

Yixing noticed a light turning on the kitchen where you used to meet.

“There are here!” He shouted.

“Who is this?” Yixing recognised Hyunsung ajeossi’s voice through the intercom.

“Ajeossi! It’s me! It’s me Yixing!”

He opened the gate without hesitation, even though all the house workers knew that he was no longer part of your future, nonetheless they all loved him. Hyunsung noticed Yixing’s drunken voice and the urge to help him took over his actions.

When the gates opened Yixing tried running inside but he tripped on his own feet meeting the ground.

“Sir! Are you alright?” The diver asked alarmed when he saw blood on Yixing’s mouth as he turned over.

“I am, I just bit myself.” Laughed Yixing as if nothing.

The taxi driver helped him on his feet sitting him back in the vehicle. Yixing had started a nervous crying, he was excited but he knew that this would only bring him more trouble, now looking the way he looked, blood covering his mouth and jaw, drunk like a skunk... he didn’t care, he just wanted to see you at all costs.

Hyunsung was standing waiting for the taxi to come his way, he was trying to motion with his hands to drive slower, fearing to wake your parents.

Yixing opened the door of the car while still moving, the taxi driver was loosing his patience.

“Yixing son! What are you doing here?”

“I just want to see her, one last time, please!” He drunkly affirmed walking towards the door, but Hyunsung stopped him.

“Can I get paid and leave?” Asked the taxi driver pissed.

Hyunsung fished Yixing’s wallet from his back pocket while he tried to steady him. “How much do we owe you?”

“₩20,000.”

“Wow, quite pricey!”

“Well... I need to clean the mess your buddy here has done, besides this is a VIP taxi.”

“Sure... well you will have to wait here because we don’t have enough. Come on Yixing son, stay quiet in the kitchen while I get the money.” Advised Hyunsung throwing Yixing’s arm around his neck walking inside.

Once inside he sat him down shushing him before he went to get the taxi fare, Yixng leaned on the table, he was still sobbing and of course the rest of the house would hear him any moment.

“Yixing son please, stop! Sajang-nim is here and if he hears you... I’ll go pay the taxi now please stay quiet.”

Hyunsung paid the taxi driver and came back.

“Come let me see your injuries” He said lifting Yixing’s face. “Nothing major I see you might of bitten your lip a bit harshly. I will clean you and offer you a glass of water and then you should call your friends to collect you. I can do nothing more.”

“___! I want to see ___!”

“Yixing!” Whisper-shouted Hyunsung. “This so unlike so you Yixing, don’t make me regret opening the door for you, I will get in big trouble.”

At that very moment they heard the door of the kitchen opening and your dad tying up his robe, his facial expression unreadable.

“What is all this?”

“Sajang-nim, I am sorry, I just had to see what the matter was with Yixing.”

“It’s almost 1 AM.” Said your father not very happy.

Yixing stood up and went on his knees, he kneeled to the floor grabbing your dad’s feet crying desperately. “Please, just let me see her, I will leave after, I will leave forever, but I need to see her.”

Your father bent down patting on Yixing’s shoulder. “Stand Up!” He demanded firmly cutting Yixing’s sobs making him raise his head meeting your father’s eyes. “Don’t you ever act this weak ever again! You hear me Zhang Yixing?!”

Yixing nodded his eyes doubling in size, he knew he’d gone too far and then his tears started flowing again sounding like a desperate little girl crouching on the floor.

“Hyunsung thanks, you may go back to bed I will take it from here.”

Once alone, your father patted on Yixing’s back. “Now stop it!”

“And so you will let me see her? Please, please I will do anything.”

“You are drunk and you are hurt somewhere, I really don’t know how you thought doing something like this would make me let you see ___.”

As your father kept speaking Yixing stomach flipped and your father saw it coming, he pulled Yixing just in time guiding him to the small toilet, Yixing vomited inside the toilet bowl as your father held his head still until he was done.

“What have you drank there son? You are one of those people that drink till they get to this stage? What else I didn't see? It’s like you are this person I don’t know and trusted and...”

Yixng leaned on the basin looking down, he’s somehow sobered, even though he was still dizzy and didn’t know how he got there. If he had a chance before, he’s blowed all his chances now. He saw your father’s hand opening the tap bringing his head down and forcing it under the ice cold water to run on his head.

“Wash and call Junmyeon to collect you. I’ll go make you some coffee.”

Yixing washed his face trying not to cry, he willed himself to swallow his tears but as his knees shook and his mind started coming back to him he felt worst than before drinking. Here he was, at your home, creating a scene, vomiting and definitely the in the worst shape he’s ever been exposed in front of your father. What else could go wrong?

He washed his face and dried his hair with the towel realising there was a female voice talking to your father, of course it was his worst nightmare your mother. He fixed his har and tried to clean the blood stains from his shirt, he opened the door walking outside realising he couldn’t walk properly. He cleared his throat and made his way to were they were standing next to the coffee machine.

“Oh look there he is, the filthy rat that that dares coming here looking like the beggar he is, drunk and creating a scene. How dare you coming here in the middle of the night-”

“Marie! Enough.” He shut her and proceeded in offering a cup to Yixing. “Here son, drink it all it’s a double shot of espresso, it should help.”

Yixing nodded taking the cup and drinking it in one go, he set it in the table never making eye contact with any of them.

“Right so what are you waiting for? We have been way to nice to you. Now fucking call someone to collect you! No! Where is Hyunsung? Let him drop him out of here!” Your mother’s tone getting louder.

Yixing took his phone out and searched for Junmyeon’s phone number, he just needed to press but he sighed and looked up meeting your parents gazes, your father’s gentle and worried completely the opposite to your mother’s. He chew on the inside of his cheek trying to speak but deciding against it, the alcohol still very present in his system. He swallowed and looked at his phone again not wanting to call Junmyeon. Not just yet.

“What are you fucking waiting for? Give me that phone!”

“Marie please, let him speak.” You father turned to Yixing again. “Son you want to say something?”

“I- I- sajang-nim... while I am here... maybe...”

Your mother walked towards Yixing and poked on his chest with her pointer finger. “You-are-never-going-to-see-her-again!” She was walking making him walk backwards. “UNDERSTOOD?”

With that last comment Yixing tripped over falling backwards banging his head on the hard flooring of the kitchen.

“Marie! Marie move away! What are you doing?” Shouted your father going on his knees. “Yixing! Yixing?” Called your father desperately shaking Yixing’s shoulders.

“Did he die? Why isn’t he responding?” Asked your mother coldly.

“Hyunsung! Hyunsung!” Exclaimed your father as he patted on Yixing’s cheeks gently to make him regain consciousness.

“Yes sajang-nim!”

“Pick him up and take him to the guest’s room upstairs!”

“What? No! Call his fried and ask him for his address so Hyunsung can dump him there” Suggested your mother.

“If you don’t shut up Marie you will be the one leaving this house.” Concluded your father following Hyunsung that carried Yixing upstairs.

She was left speechless, she scoffed and looked at the ceiling not believing what she heard, her beloved Changwook, speaking to her the way he did in front of the driver... She leaned on the kitchen counter thinking she was loosing territory, that this will definitely play against her cause. She looked at the floor and noticed a small stain of blood knowing exactly that it must of been from Yixing’s head. She swallowed thickly and suddenly she felt this feeling she never thought she would.

Worry.

Genuine worry for the boy that was causing her nightmares... But also the reason of your ultimate happiness.

Your happiness.

Your happiness that she had just caused him an injury in his head.

She ran outside the kitchen and went straight to the visitor’s room upstairs hearing your father giving commands to Hyunsung. She held her breath sinking her nails on the wall behind her. She took a deep breath before peeking inside the room watching your father carefully undress Yixing.

“I- I think his head...” she whispered opening the door.

Your father turned to see your mother standing at the door. “His head?”

“There was blood in the floor.”

Your father checked and indeed saw a small cut. “Oh my god! Call the doctor Marie don’t just stand there!”

You woke up when you heard a car pulling over in the driveway of your house, the reflexion of the headlights on the ceiling of your room. You were cold, cold and your heart stung more than usual.

“Thanks doctor for coming.” You heard your father say.

Your doctor was there? But why? You haven’t complained about anything unusual to have him coming this late at night, and your parents weren’t even near you.

You shoved the duvet aside and tiptoed your way to your door peeking outside, the corridor of your house was very long but you recognised your mother standing outside the visitor’s room, she looked uneasy, not in her usual self, not for something not related to your health.

A couple of minutes later your father and your doctor appeared, your father looking angry and not wanting to look at your other. What was happening?

Your father proceeded in guiding the doctor to his office and your mother followed them quietly. When they closed the door you found the opportunity to sneak in that room. You put your robe on and tiptoed your way to see that mysterious visitor.

Could it be? But why would he...

You pushed the door open and you saw Yixing lying down in the bed covered with a thin sheet, his cheeks rosey and you just couldn’t believe what he was doing there and why he looked the way he looked.

You heard the door of your father’s office opening and as an instinct you entered the visitor’s room and locked it behind you leaning on the door, your breath getting laboured not knowing what to do.

You heard footsteps and the doorknob of the room moving trying to enter.

“It’s locked!” Exclaimed your father form outside.

“How? I didn’t lock it!” Said your mother.

“___? Are you there?”

“What happened to him?” You inquired from behind the door.

“Open the door honey.”

“No! Tell me why is he here looking like this?”

“He is alright he just fell and fainted.” Affirmed your father still trying to open the door.

“I will take care of him leave us alone.” You plainly stated.

“___! Open the door!” Your mother’s firm voice.

“NO!”

“Leave her Marie, leave them alone.”

When you heard your father’s gentle voice suggesting to leave you alone you gained more courage and ignored them. You turned to Yixing untying your robe and without thinking it twice you got under the covers with Yixing. You cupped his face and kissed his cheeks looking at him and caressing his forehead before resting your head on his chest, forcing his lifeless arm to wrap around you.

“What have they done to you? Tell me what happened? Oppa tell me! Open your eyes!” You pleaded burying your face on his chest, your hand caressing his bare chest. “I missed you you know? Like I think really nothing is worth it if you aren’t near me. Don’t leave me, let’s escape, let’s go to China, I would love to meet your mom, I will make you happy I promise!”

Your parents heard you and they knew that it was going to be stupid trying to separate you from him.

You looked up again and now you kissed his lips slowly running your fingers through his hair, you then noticed a dressing on his head worrying you more. “Yixing oppa, I will get mad if you don’t open your eyes again. Please tell me you are alright.”

You then felt his arms wrapping around your waist, a smile drawing on his face. “Aren’t you supposed to keep kissing me until I open my eyes m’lady?”

“Oppa~~~ oppa!”

“Kiss here.” He pointed with his index finger at his lips.

You smiled and lowered yourself brushing your lips against his, your eyes wide open.

“Your kiss is so bad, I guess I will faint again until you kiss me properly.” He teased speaking in your mouth.

“Oppa!”

Yixing flipped you over forcing your mouth open, he tasted funny but you let him lead you. “I missed you my beautiful butterfly.”

His hand already at your centre making you gasp, his hard erection poking your thigh. How did all this escalate so quick? Wasn’t he just unconscious? He was acting weird, he wasn’t himself...

“Oppa?”

“What? Don’t you miss me?”

“I do but, you smell funny, and your mouth...” You tried straightening yourself but he pulled you back down now him straddling you looking at your innocent expectant expression. “Oppa?”

“___, I am drunk, I am sorry.” He sat back on the bed covering his face with his hands.

“It doesn’t matter, you are here with me, and my parents know, and I am going to spend the night with you on this bed, let’s cuddle till you sober up.”

You pulled his arm and placed your head back on his chest kissing his soft skin. He kissed the crown of your head and fell heavily asleep in less than 2 minutes.

*****

Yixing opened his eyes and found you cuddled up on his chest, your legs curled up with his and the biggest headache he’s ever had the bad luck to experience present.

*Knock on the door*

__________________________

A/N: Long overdue, drama far from over.

Thanks for reading, feedback always welcomed ^_^

69 notes · View notes

farfromdaylight · 6 years

Photo

OKAY HERE WE GO, THE STAT POST TO END ALL STAT POSTS

first and most important: what the everliving fuck, i wrote a million words in a year. if you told me this time last year that this was what i was going to aspire to, i would have assumed it was an april fool's joke. like. lmao you're kidding right.

end total was 1,000,111! i had wanted a million and one words but when i calcuated my numbers i had, uh, a million and thirty. :"| so i had to write some 80 words in the like 10 minutes i had left. way to go, me.

october is highlighted for a very important reason: it's the month i switched to colemak. the fact that my wph/wpm has only improved since that time is a pretty strong vote in its favor, i think. i do still experience hand pain, but i think that has more to do with the fact that i write for two hours a day than the keyboard layout. certainly it's nice to have a more ergonomic design. (most of my current pain is actually from my mouse location; working on fixing that issue next.)

more highlights & tl;dr under the cut bc heaven knows this is going to get obnoxiously long

firstly, a project breakdown -- what is that million words made of?

immortal au -- 813,127 words (unintentional but delightful)

everybody says this is your home -- 166,680 words

roughly 20k of cuts, snippets, drabbles, etc

so, not surprising; heaven knows i only worked on two real stories in the past year. this is something i want to change over this next year, though i'm not yet sure what those stories will be.

highs & lows

most words written in a single day: 11,181 (11/1)

most time spent writing in a single day: 8 hours, 20 minutes (11/1) (start of nano, also i was going on vacation that weekend and wanted a buffer)

least words written/day: 80 (9/24)

least time spent/day: 5 minutes (9/24) (i had had zero sleep)

best words per hour/minute: 2159/36 (2/26) (i wrote 203 words in 4 minutes and nearly lost it, because i am That Kind Of Person)

worst words per hour/minute: 599/10 (10/1) (first day of colemak; i didn't even write 600 words in the hour i spent writing)

most time spent writing/month: 107 hours, 16 minutes (november) (duh)

least time spent writing/month: 39 hours (may) (ah yes, back when i was aiming for a thousand words a day... that didn't last long...)

other stats

on average, i write for about 57 hours, 40 minutes per month. no wonder i haven't been able to play many video games lately -- writing took up that timeslot.

that said, i only spent 8% of the past year writing. 691 hours sounds like a ton of time, but it averages out to 2 hours a day. given that i spend 8 hours a day sleeping (...give or take), 2 hours is really not that much of a loss. though as i mentioned in the other post, 1 hour of writing often equates to two hours of real time. even then, 16% of a year/1400 hours is really not that much time in the grand scheme of things.

i have made roughly 500 posts about writing on here in the past year, for which i apologize. the number's rough because there are a few more posts than that on dw but i don't feel like sorting through it at the moment to figure out the exact number. either way: i am so, so sorry. how have you all not unfollowed me. i do not understand.

quartiles

i calculated the quartiles for words/time/wph, and i find them pretty interesting:

words

first quartile (25%): 1,355

second quartile (50%): 2,239

third quartile (75%): 3,555

time

first quartile (25%): 1 hour, 3 minutes

second quartile (50%): 1 hour, 27 minutes

third quartile (75%): 2 hours, 30 minutes

words per hour (wpm)

first quartile (25%): 1,214 (20)

second quartile (50%): 1,407 (23)

third quartile (75%): 1,619 (27)

the reason i find them interesting is that they don't match up at all! you'd think that since the wph is calculated from words over time they'd even out, but apparently not. despite all evidence to the contrary i'm actually not great at statistics, so i'm not sure what conclusion to draw, but my guess is that it has to do with the fact that my wph did something of a bell curve over the past 12 months. but who knows.

(incidentally i do want to turn all these numbers into Pretty Charts, but i... have not figured out that part of google sheets yet, lmao. i'm sure i'll figure it out eventually. so far all i have managed are a bunch of squiggles. they are pretty squiggles but they are squiggles nonetheless.)

etc

so one of my overall goals for 2018 was to write a million words in 2018 specifically (ie starting jan 1--ending dec 31), and i'm not sure if i still want to go for it. on the one hand, i'm about 50,000 words ahead of pace, and like, that's a terrible buffer to lose. i am also Very Bad at giving up goals.

on the other hand...... the reason i am ahead is because i noticed in january that i was really close to writing a million words in 365 days. i tried to tell myself that i wasn't going to aim for it because of how burnt out i was, but. 😐 we can see how well that worked out. 😐

the thing is, though, i am tired. i am unbelievably tired. that chart says that i averaged 2 hours of writing a day in march, and as far as math in concerned, that's true. in actual fact, though, i averaged 1h30m of writing from 3/1 through 3/24, and four hours a day for the past week. i'm fucking exhausted. and it's exactly what i did in february, and in january. i can't do a whole year of that.

so. i am going to aim for 50,000 words next month, because it's camp nano and because 50k is, at this point, a very achievable number. (i mean for god's sake, i just did it in a week. i can do it in a month. in fact i would love to do it in a month.) and i am going to use the rest of that time to work on the worldbuilding, planning, and plotting i have pushed aside for the past five months in pursuit of ever-growing wordcounts.

that's april. the rest i can figure out later.

#we are always in balance #wordcount stats #now that i think about it i'm not sure how many millions i've written #this certainly isn't the first #or the second #it might be most of the third?#one day i will sit down and calculate my Lifetime Wordcount #dear future larissa: i'm sorry

7 notes · View notes

nickikpopart · 6 years

Text

Backside Story: „How to draw LOVE“

“Different Choice” Jimins Part

Jimin POV

The next morning after the night were i broke up with Yoongi, I packed my stuff in Boxes. I still couldn´t believe what he did to me. How could he lie to me all these month? Cheating on me with Hoseok. I was so angry and sad at the same time. Yoongi didn´t came home not even in the morning. So I had time to pack everything. After that I called my boss to get some days off. He didn´t ask why, but the sound of my voice must have said a lot to him. I also told him that I want to change my worktimes, cause I don’t wanted to work with Hoseok at the same time anymore. I didn´t wanted to see him, cause I cannot forget what he did too. After lunch, Tae came and helped me to put my boxes in his car. I was glad that I could stay for a while in his apartment. He is truly a great friend. I made a last look back at the building were all my dreams crumbled into pieces overnight. I just want to forget now and try to move on.

Tae´s POV

After I got the message from Jimin last night I was going back to his flat and we talked the half of the night. Around 3 am, I left him so he could sleep a little. I told him, that I would come back after lunch to pick him up. It was very quiet when we packed all his stuff in car, which was a lot more than I thought. He needs definitely to sort out some things. He can’t take everything with him. I told him that and he agreed. Soon we arrived my apartement.

Others POV

“Jimin, you have so many boxes. We need to put some of these into the basement of my apartment.” Tae said to him with a shocked face.

“I know Tae, I will sort out some of this. I don’t need all of it. I just don’t wanted to left anything there. So I don’t have to go back.” Jimin said, while holding two boxes in his hands. They needed at least 2 hours to get the car empty. After that they were falling on the couch.

“Wahhh Jimin, i`m so done. I can´t anymore, btw… how do you feel?” Tae asked him, while getting up and walk to the kitchen. “Do you want some Water to?”

“I´m not really ok Tae, but I think after some time I will feel better and yes I want some water to. No need to ask, u see how much i`m sweating.” Jimins voice had a sad sound, Tae could tell. He heard it. He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and two glasses from the sink. Sitting back on the sofa, he opened the bottle and poured some water in both.

“Tae are you ok too?” Jimin asked him after drink some.

“I´m slightly ok. At least I was not together with Hoseok, just crush on him. I never thought he would doing things like that.” Tae was still angry, that he could fall for a guy like him. He thought Hoseok would be different than the others he met before, but he failed.

“I understand you, but I think there is someone else you find quite interesting am I right?” Jimin said while making some pictures and post them on his FB-Account. “Moving in with my best friend was a good choice.”

“Jimin, please but yeah Jin is actually quite interesting.” Tae said with a smile on his face.

Soon Tae had to leave Jimin alone to go to work but he would be back late in the evening. After Tae was gone, Jimin started to unpack and sort out some of the things. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotion. All albums with the pictures, he made during their time together. He decided to throw them away with all the little gifts he got from Yoongi, as far as he didn´t had forgot their anniversaries or his birthday. Then he found a little yellow box with a blue butterfly on it. He didn´t saw that box for about 2 years now and he was knowing already what could be in there. He opened the box and found the little brown/white plushy bunny, which he got from Jungkook. He knew it was him who left it even he didn´t saw him. The piece of paper was still there to. He opened it and instandly his thoughts were drifting away to the last day he saw him

“Be happy Jimin. Kookie”

Flashback…

Since Jimin was meeting Jungkook for the first time on his Birthday, he came almost every day, to drink his coffee and to draw. Jimin liked him from the beginning and he thought that Jungkook might liking him to. He saw it in the way he always looked at him. But Jimin had already a Boyfriend, so even he gathered feelings for him somehow, he couldn´t make that decision to tell it Jungkook. So the days are going always the same. Until….

11.10.2015

Jimin had late work and Jungkook was there like always to talk with him and of cause he used his free time to sit down and watched him drawing. He liked his pictures. After some minutes sitting down, he received a call from his Boyfriend. He excused himself from Jungkook to talk to him. Not noticing that Jungkook startled by what he was hearing and immediately got back to his drawing when Jimin looked at him.

“Hey Babe, yes i´m home in 3 hours and I will cook something for you ok.”

“No, its ok. You can bring actually some Wine if u want.”

“Love u too, see you later then.”

Jimin didn´t know that Jungkook heard everything and was sitting himself beside him again. Jungkook didn’t looked at him during their talking, just concentrate on the drawing. Jimin was little surprised that he was so silent after he came back to him.

“So Kookie, how are u doing?” Jimin asked him

“I´m ok. Just as usual.” Jungkook tried to shorten their talk.

“Is everything ok? You are so quiet today. Not like the other time.” Jimin could tell something was off.

“No, everything is fine. Actually I have to go now. If u don´t mind.” Jungkook said while packing his pencil and Sketchbook in his bag.

“Oh ok, no problem. I need to work anyway now. See u tomorrow then.” Jimin said with a smile.

“Yeah see you Jimin.” Jungkooks voice cracked a little, Jimin could hear it but didn´t ask Jungkook about it.

On the next day, Jimin was waiting for Jungkook to come but he didn´t. He needed to talk to him. Actually he wasn´t feeling well, because Yoongi had stood him up the night before. Jimin thought that Jungkook was the best to lighten his mood. Tomorrow was his Birthday, he told that Jungkook a while ago, so he hoped he would come to meet him then.

Jimin had to work on his birthday, but he could go home earlier. His boss allowed it. He hoped to see Jungkook today, so he entered the Café with excitement. But…

"Jimin, the guy who had visit you every day here had left something for you.” His Boss Namjoon told him. “He was here earlier and told me to give you that.”Namjoon gave Jimin a little yellow Box with a blue Butterfly on it. Jimin gulped and got suddenly silent. So he wouldn´t even see him today, he thought.

“Did he said something else?” Jimin was asking while shaking a little.

“No nothing else, just that.” Namjoon told him and went back into the Kitchen.

Jimin had let himself falling back on the bank behind him and looked at the box in his hand. After he took a deep breath he opened the box and found a little brown/white plushy bunny. Beside that there was a message. “Be happy Jimin. Kookie” He felt sad while reading it. He got overwhelmed and tears were flashing into his eyes. He was started to think, what if he had gathered the courage to confess to Jungkook that he liked him. Would he be there with him today? He looked at the bunny and said to himself: “What if I had did.”, not knowing, while lost in his thoughts, that Jungkook came back to watch him from outside the window. After that the days were going slowly over and Jimin never saw Jungkook again. He thought about him sometimes, but things were going to be better with Yoongi now. So he stopped thinking about him and putted that plushy bunny with the box somewhere in the basement of their apartement. Not know yet that it would come back to him in the right time.

“Jimin, i´m back home.” Tae said after he went into the room. Jimin was freezing after he heard him, which brought him back into reality. Not to face him yet, Jimin put the bunny hasty back in the small box with a sad smile and then putting it in the big box in front of him.

“Sorry I was just… “ Jimin stuttered and putted the big box beside the bed.

“It ok, btw what are u hiding there?” Tae asked him out of curiosity.

“Nothing, just a memory that I want to keep” Jimin just said.

“Oh, ok. Want to eat Dinner. I bought chicken and beer.” Tae was asking with a big smile.

“Yeah ok. I´m actually hungry.” Jimin answered him while still looking at the box. He was thinking about Jungkook more often since he talked with JJK1013 and he still thought if he had made a different Choice in that time. He started to like JJK1013 lately cause he reminded him a little bit of Jungkook. The way he wrote when they are chatting. He needed to talk to Jin about it.

HOW TO DRAW LOVE AU ( 6-7-8/? )

Jimin follows a well known artist on Facebook; not knowing it is Jungkook; a boy he met two years ago and fell for despite being in a relationship. Jungkook suddenly disappeared on him without saying why and left Jimin with a lot of “what ifs”.

so here my next Part of the flashback, Jimins part this time. hope u guys like it. @golden-kookmin

#jikook au #jikook social media au #kookmin au #goldenkookmin au

15 notes · View notes

lillyblogs · 6 years

Text

[Insinuation 2.7]

(Sorry about posting these out of chronological order; I didn't have a Tumblr blog yet when I first posted this one. Also, consider my liveblogs of 1.1 -> 2.6 lost to the ether.) [Insinuation 2.7] Brian and Alec were good looking guys, in very different ways. Lisa was, on the sliding scale between plain and pretty, more pretty than not. So Taylor admits to checking all of them out and also to finding them all attractive. Undersider harem when? Bug Please don't stick please don't stick I still want her name to be something cool like Myriad, but there's bound to be something of a joke to it. Lisa, though, put one of her arms around my shoulders and gave me a one-armed squeeze of a hug. She was a little older than I was, so she was just tall enough to be at the perfect height to do it. What caught me off guard was how nice the gesture felt. Taylor is attracted to girls theory: Confirmed?????? Actually, I get the impression that Lisa is supposed to be this but it's not quite coming across right and makes it seem like she has a thing for Taylor. We passed a twenty-something artist and his girlfriend, sitting on the sidewalk with paintings propped up around them. The girl waved at Lisa as we walked by, and Lisa waved back. Guessing she's an important character, a cape probably, but not one of the Undersiders. Circus? Spitfire? IDK I know too few names at this point. Alternatively, that was Uber and Leet. If that's the case, Leet was probably the girl and Uber the artist. If Tattletale's really a hacker, it'd make sense for her to be friends with someone named Leet. I supposed they might have a TiVo, though I’d never seen one. TiVo?????? Seriously, though, the Undersiders have a pretty fucking sweet loft. Also, Alec's an artist apparently. Knowing young fiction, this will either be the only thing he talks about ever or he'll never mention it again. ```“I’m jealous,” I admitted, meaning it.

“Dork,” Alec said, “What are you jealous for?”

“I meant it’s cool,” I protested, a touch defensively.

Lisa spoke before Alec could reply, “I think what Alec means is that this is your place now too. This is the team’s space, and you’re a member of the team, now.”How all great friendships start.“Last time he went up against Shadow Stalker, he came back here and bled all over a white couch,” Lisa groused, “nine hundred dollar couch and we had to replace it.”

“Fucking Shadow Stalker,” Alec commiserated.OOOH! Shadow Stalker sounds like they might be a rival villain. (Part of Faultline's group, maybe? Or perhaps the Empire, though the Undersiders don't seem to have major issues with them yet.) Can't wait to see them.Brian came back from the other end of the loft, raising his voice to be heard as he approached, “Rache’s not here, and neither are her dogs. She must be walking them or working. Dammit. I get stressed when she’s out.” He approached the couches and saw Alec sprawled on the one.OK now I'm 99% percent sure Brian and this Rachel girl are a couple, or he wants them to be. Or alternatively, she really is a mass-murderer with a dog fetish and that's why he's worried. Either way, isn't her identity public? If so, _why_ does she walk her own dogs, instead of having the other Undersiders do it for her? Indication of obsession? Possessiveness? Or maybe they have someone who can disguise people; Regent, maybe? Not sure if it would fit with his name, though. Regent, to me, suggests he might be part of some sort of Parahuman lineage (not sure how far back it could possibly go, since didn't Scion only appear in the 80s?) and that his power is _really fucking good_. He's their heavy hitter, the one who packs the most punches. Maybe he's a mini-Superman, complete with the "powers as the plot demands".“We’ll get you one,” he said, like it wasn’t even a concern. It probably wasn’t. “We generally haul in anywhere from ten grand to thirty-five grand for a job. That gets divided four ways… five ways now that you’re on the team.”Sounds like Taylor will be rich very quickly; she'll probably be against spending the money at first but give in after a little. She is the Queen Of Slippery Slopes, after all. In fact, I suspect the Undersiders are aware of that, b/c of Tattletale and are actively baiting her into falling all the way down and becoming a villain. However, they probably won't like the new, unrestricted Taylor Hebert.“I do know everything,” Lisa said, “It’s my power.”Still thinking superpowered hacker, possibly with some sort of tinkery flavor to it, with a probable focus on spying on and tracking people.“What?” I said, interrupting Brian. My heartbeat quickened, though I hadn’t exactly been relaxed to begin with, “You’re omniscient?”

Lisa laughed, “No, no. I do know things though. My power tells me stuff.”

Swallowing hard, hoping I wasn’t drawing attention by doing so, I asked, “Like?” Like why I was joining their team?

Lisa sat forward and put her elbows on her knees, “Like how I knew you were at the library when I sent me the messages. If I felt like it, and if I had the know how, I’m sure I could have figured it out by breaking into the website database and digging through the logs to find the address you connected from, but my power just let me skip that step like that.” She snapped her fingers.Damn it. I was wrong, wasn't I? But honestly that's a _horrifying_ power; she just _knows_ things she shouldn't. Like "everything about everyone ever", apparently. Perhaps it's some sort of weird form of clairvoyance; her power sees everything going on at once, but she can focus it on a specific person/area and it'll relay whatever it finds to her for her to make sense of with her deductive skills. Like having an omnipresent, invisible and intangible drone. Heck, maybe she's lying and she's just a Tinker with a specialty in surveillance and cloaking; would certainly explain how Rachel's able to regularly go outside, seemingly.Not giving him a chance to reply, she turned to me and explained, “My power fills in the gaps in my knowledge. I generally need some info to start from, but I can use details my power feeds me to figure out more stuff, and it all sort of compounds itself, giving me a steady flow of info.”Honestly I'm not entirely sure what she means by this, but it definitely seems like _every single one_ of my guesses as to her power was wrong.Lisa’s smile widened, “I’ll admit I cheated there. Figuring out passwords is pretty easy with my power. I dig through the PHQ’s digital paperwork and enjoy a little reality TV by way of their surveillance cameras when I’m bored. It’s useful because I’m not only getting the dirt from what I see, hear and read, but my power fills in the details on stuff like changes in their routine and the team politics.”At least I was right about her tendency to spy on people. And the PHQ's the _Protectorate_ ENE HQ, right? So essentially where the heroes work, and possibly live. Makes sense that Taylor wouldn't want to join the Wards if it's actually like that; she rather seems to enjoy having _something_ of a normal life and the ability to just go home and get away from this, to just be her father's daughter for a while. (Angsty plot twist: He's actually her stepdad, in addition to being a cape (maybe Armsmaster if he isn't a villain; tinkers seem sufficiently bullshit for that to work, and he was relatively nice to Taylor, if a bit businesslike-- _just like her father_.) and she learns both of these secrets at an inopportune time (perhaps after her first mission with the Undersiders?) and ends up leaving him and her civilian ID behind and moving in with the Undersiders full-time.)she grinned her vulpine smileNo way this isn't a fandom meme. Honestly, this just feels like such a memetic phrase and Wildbow _just keeps using it_. There are other ways to call someone sly and mischevious that don't involve how foxlike their smile is. Still thinking she's going to end up with Taylor, eventually and probably only temporarily. Unless she's also a double-agent. Would explain why she hasn't been the nicest to Taylor (she went out of her way to mess with her...), despite seemingly wanting her to join the team and seemingly caring about her. Grue, Alec and Rachel probably aren't going to double-cross the team, however. They seem like they're actually villains, albeit probably sympathetic ones. I can't wait to hear how despite seeming to only be in it for the money, they all have tragic backstories. Actually, perhaps having a tragic backstory is part of gaining powers; Taylor's got a lot of trauma and the Danny interlude did suggest that things turned from idyllic to tragic rather fast. And logically speaking, it makes sense that the villains would all have a lot of mental trauma; they're the people who society has chewed up and spat right out. Calling it right now that every Undersider is some kind of minority or other oppressed group: Brian: Black, possibly not straight. Possibly a single (adoptive?) parent? He seems close to the other Undersiders, so it doesn't seem like he'd live away from them by choice. If he's got a kid who he's desperately trying to keep away from this, things suddenly make sense. Or maybe a little sister/brother (I'm leaning towards sister), if he's too young to even be adopting children? Either way, he's definitely doing this for someone else's sake. If said person is old enough (i.e. 13+; I don't think the Undersiders would employ such a small child), they'll probably join the Undersiders after a few arcs of melodrama. Or if they're not, they'll do it (complete with the melodrama) after they grow up. Which Wildbow may only do so they can be paired with whichever Undersider doesn't get paired up, since I'm 100% sure they're going to end up a set of three couples, instead of a proper team of five. Bonus points if this hypothetical sister thinks Brian's a hero before learning the considerably more unsavory truth. Alec: He's definitely either gay or bi. There is no way that boy is straight. Also, he's got a French name, which is a pretty good sign he's going to be a Flamboyant Gay, especially if he picked it for himself. Lisa: A woman, also gay (probably). Possibly asexual, maybe? (She's definitely not aromantic, though; there needs to be at least something to use for shipping bait and "will-they-or-won't-they" tension, as Worm is basically YA.) Rachel: Maybe she's transgender? I'm guessing here. Didn't Taylor describe her as unladylike in appearance or something like that? Also possibly a butch lesbian* / gender non-conforming in some other way. *If she's a lesbian, Tattletale isn't one. It's a rule of how these things work. Though in that case, Tattletale wouldn't be a proper token character and would instead exist as a plot device / excuse for exposition and probably only exists to avert the Smurfette principle.They didn’t get a chance to tell me. I heard barking from downstairs. A matter of heartbeats later I was standing, three paces from the couch. Three snarling dogs had me backed against the wall, drool flying from their mouths as their teeth gnashed and snapped for my hands and face.``` Rachel can't control her dogs = confirmed? Or maybe she's a bit more unhinged than I was thinking, or both? I'm currently thinking that she's actually the sweetest and most innocent of the Undersiders, appearances be damned (it also makes her alias of "Bitch" rather ironic), but I could be extremely wrong. Since she works with dogs, she also probably has some skill as a vet, and probably acts as the Undersiders' medic as well.

I'm also starting to think that the Undersiders are using their actual names, and that they really do trust Taylor. Unless they're all lying about their names to each other as well as to Taylor, though they seem too much like fire-forged friends for that.

#worm #worm serial #wildbow #worm wildbow #parahumans #liveblogging

2 notes · View notes

blogmarareactions · 7 years

Photo

Note: Thank you so much sweety! You are an angel! <3 Like always I will be doing this in 3 seperate posts. Here is first the Vixx version. Also I decided to leave the ending somewhat open but leading the way to a happy ending as requested.

Short backstory:

You have been together with him for a year soon. Everything seemed fine for so long, he was nice, funny and always seemed to know how to make you smile when you were feeling down. Now however he was different. He was gone untill late, barely talking to you and when you asked him about it he`d answer you with short annoyed statements, almost angry. You had tried talking to him more than once but he wouldn`t listen. This is what made you draw your conclusions and you decided it might be better for him if you dissapeared. So packing a small bag with your most needed belongings you ran away.

He had a bad day and the only thing he wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. He went into the bedroom presuming you were asleep but when he found the bed empty he was confused. He called your name but when you didn`t answer he walked around the flat just to find that you were nowhere to be found. He`d be worried to no end knowing you`d never just go out without telling him where and when. Thinking you had been kidnapped or worse he wouldn`t hesitate to order his men to look for you. When they finally did after several hours and brought you back to the flat he`d be hugging you in no time, asking where you went and checking if you had any injuries. After explaining that you ran away he was about to be mad but then you`d explain why, his anger would dissolve and he`d be left feeling nothing but guilt. He`d take your hands promising that he`d change and would ask you not to leave him.

“I was worried sick for you y/n. You can`t just dissappear like that. I promise you I will be here for you more often. We can work this out together. Don`t just leave. Please stay with me.”

Leo

Dealing with idiots and criminals who didn`t seem to be able to use their brains all day was draining. He`d come home in another one of his rather bad moods already expecting you to either be asleep, which would save him a lot of energy, or mad and in his head he`d already be preparing what to say so you`d at least stop bothering him. He wasn`t proud of his behavior lately but he`d make up for it as soon as this deal was done. Or at least that`s what he thought. However now he was sitting on your shared bed with your letter in his hand and an empty flat. His mind would be clouded by anger for a long time before it finally sunk in that this was in every way his fault. He had screamed at you in annoyance whenever you had tried to tell him he needed a time out. He had called off any plans of eating dinner together leaving you to eat alone, if you ate at all, he wasn`t sure. It all came crushing down on him and in this moment he`d be running outside to sit in his car, driving around the whole city, not caring about speed limits as he was searching for you. His calls would go straight to voicemail and his texts were unanswered when the sun rose over the horizon and he`d finally find you about to enter a cab. He`d run out of his car, call your name before before standing infront of you and with red eyes and bags underneath he`d let all of his feelings out.

“I know I have been horrible lately. You deserve so much better than me but I am selfish. I don`t want to let you go, I love you and I need you with me y/n. I don`t expect you to forgive me for the things I have done but please, stay with me. I swear I will treat you better from now on.”

Ken

Despite his busy schedule he had noticed that his behaviour towards you had been rather harsch lately and that you had tried talking to him. Your timing however has always been so wrong as you had catched him at some of his worst days. This day had been good though and so he wanted to surprise you. On his way home he had bought a bouquet of flowers and planned a rather romantic evening but his planes shattered as soon as he stepped through the door and found your letter saying that he`d probably be better off without you constantly distracting him. He cursed under his breath remembering these very word leaving his mouth in a fight the two of you had a few days back. He wouldn`t even try calling you knowing you wouldn`t take the phone and would drive straight to the place he presumed you`d be at. Finding you sitting and crying on the bench on the beach side where you had shared your first kiss he`d be gentle when approaching. He would sit beside you before enveloping you in a hug, kissing the top of your head, whispering how sorry he was.

“I`m so sorry y/n. You aren`t distracting. I was mad that day. I know it wasn`t right but I couldn`t control myself. But I will try from no on. Y/n, I will change for you. If you let me I will make you happy again.”

Ravi

His job is demanding and he knew he could seem intimitading sometimes but he had never thought of you as useless or a burden. If anything you were the only thing keeping him sane. He thought you knew that but it seems he had really neglected you too much. He knew you needed a time out so he gave you 2 days to cool off, always knowing where you were through the gps in your phone. He had also sent some of his men to watch over you making sure you were safe at any time. He spent the time coming up with things with which he could show you how much he really loved you, and after 2 days he had finally found what he was looking for. He made sure to look his best but not like a man of the mafia but like the man you had fallen in love with. He knew flowers or any other physical gift would mean nothing to you so he didn`t bother with those things at all. You found yourself on a rooftop. The men bringing you there had dissappeared and Ravi was standing before you now. He saw you starting to apologize feeling even worse that you thought you had to apologize for it when it was his fault. He wouldn`t even let you finish your sentence, speaking up in a gentle and loving tone.

“Y/n, you have no reason to apologize. I was too blind to see how stupid I was to neglect the most important person in my life. You are neither useless nor a burden to me. You keep me grounded whenever I feel like loosing my mind, and you`re doing it so easily and loving like I was the only person you had ever loved. I see now that through my behaviour I almost lost you and I never want that to happen again. So y/n, I want you to stay with me forever, as my best friend and my wife.” *he`d kneel down and show you the ring he had bought, the ultimate prove of his love*

wow well this excalated quickly

i know the gif doesn`t fit perfectly but the mood in this one tho

Hongbin

He`d be about to walk into your shared flat when he saw you, bag in your hand, messy hair and tear stained face. He had come home early this evening as the deal hadn`t gone the way he wanted it to. Infact this whole past month had been stressing to no end. He had lost a lot of money and now you wanted to leave him. It was too much for him, not even noticing how sad you looked he`d push you up against the door, his hands turning to fists where they lay on either side on your face. He`d ask you if this really was it, not giving you any time to explain yourself.

“So you`re just gonna leave like this? After all we`ve been through together? You wouldn`t even tell me directly? Am I that unimportant to you?”

And that`s when he noticed the tears on you face. His anger would dissolve completely as he understood the reason why. He`d remember how he had treated you this last month and realise how you must feel. Not he was the one feeling unimportant, it was you. He`d step back before falling to his knees infront of you, the stress, the anger, the fear of losing you would come crushing down on him and he wouldn`t be able to hold back his tears. Taking your hands in his and kissing them gently he`d guide you to sit infront of him before letting go of everything he had piled up inside of himself.

“I am so sorry y/n. I was too blind to see your pain. Too blind to realise how you slowly slipped through my fingers. But I`m holding on to what is left and I will do anything to make you happy again. Don`t leave me. Without you I will go crazy. Come with me. Let`s go away somewhere for a while, just the two of us and sort things out. Don`t give up on us.”

Hyuk

He`d come home and would sense something was off instantly. Usually you`d come up to him asking him if he needed anthing and how he was feeling to which he`d usually answer by brushing you off quickly, not wanting to bother you with his problems. Walking into the kitchen he`d find the note you had left him. He thought you knew the reason for why he kept to himself and didn`t talk to you about it but it seems he came off as uninterested and annoyed. Not even finishing it completely he`d already be running out the door on his way to the bustop. Your shared flat was placed quite a bit from the city for protection, so the only way from it, other than by car, was by bus. When he arrived at the bustop it was empty but checking the timetable he found out the bus you must have taken hasn`t been gone for too long. Driving as fast as he could he could catch up with the bus before stopping it by parking his car in the middle of the road. He`d drag you out of the bus before telling you how sorry he was.

“Y/n you have to believe me when I say that it was never my intention to hurt you. I was trying not to be a burden but by that I made you feel like one. But y/n, you`re nothing less than a blessing in my life. I mean you don`t really want to leave, do you? And I don`t want you to leave. So stay with me. I love you.”

Note 2.0: Alright so this became way longer than I thought it would haha. It became a bit uneven with the lengths of these reactions but I hope you don`t mind that. Some of them were easier to write than others so please bare with me :)

#vixx #vixx reactions #kpop reactions #n #vixx n #leo #vixx leo #ken #vixx ken #ravi #vixx ravi #hongbin #vixx hongbin #hyuk #vixx hyuk

181 notes · View notes