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tightjeansjavi · 6 months

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honey pot 🍯

(Mood board is just for aesthetics! Reader has no physical descriptions such as body type or skin color)

A/N: so after watching a very ✨spicy✨ video, I came up with this deliciously filthy idea of neighbor!joel becoming your fuck buddy. The only problem? You have a boyfriend already 🤭 just a disclaimer, I do not condone cheating and this fic might not be for everyone, and that’s okay!

~word count: 2.7k~

Summary: you’ve been fucking your hot neighbor, Joel Miller, all summer without your boyfriend finding out until you end up faking an orgasm with him. You tell Joel that you can no longer see him, and he comes up with a solution that works for the both of you.

pairing | hot neighbor!Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: smut, age gap (Joel is 36 reader is 25) infidelity/cheating (done to the readers bf) dom/sub, daddy kink, unprotected piv, praise kink, pet names: baby, angel, sweetness, petal, fluff, consent, some angst??pussy play, we can’t fuck, but we can do other things! Joel is a real good filthy talker, reader and Joel are down bad for one another, helping hand vibes, fwb/fuck buddy, smut with no plot, reader has no physical descriptions but keeps her genitalia groomed, +18 minors dni!

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You had been fucking your ridiculous, sinfully hot neighbor for the entirety of the summer. It started off as some innocent nonchalant flirting that you thought was harmless. What your boyfriend didn’t know, wouldn’t harm him, right? Besides, you were feeling deeply neglected in your current relationship. The honeymoon phase had worn off, and you were feeling frustrated and lonely on most nights. Guess football and guys night held a higher importance than his relationship with you. Well, so be it then. You could play the good little girlfriend that your boyfriend wanted you to be..and still have your cake and eat it.

That’s why falling head over heels for your neighbor Joel Miller was as easy as sliced pie. It was early June when you found a bouquet of fresh wildflowers on your front porch step with a note attached to one of the stems. It read, ‘Out of all the flowers in the patch, you are by far the prettiest petal.’ -J.M

So, he was hot and poetic? What more could you really want?

It was the following Friday that Joel finally got the courage to show up on your front step. He barely was able to ask you if you’d like to come over for dinner that evening when you blurted out an enthusiastic ‘yes!’

Joel was hot, poetic, and he could fucking cook? Yeah, you were positively screwed in the best way possible. Not only could he cook, but he actually showed interest in you. Your hobbies, your likes and dislikes, and for the first time in months, you actually felt like you were being appreciated.

So, it came as no surprise that after you both indulged his cooking skills, that you proceeded to let him ravage you on the table. Yours and his clothes were practically shredded to the floor as he kissed and licked every inch of your skin like a man starved. He made you cum more times in that evening than you thought was even possible, and my god, his cock? Jesus christ, you’re getting wet all over again just thinking about how it felt like he was splitting you in two, filling you to the fucking brim as you cried out his name and begged for more. Faster, harder, oh please, daddy, don’t stop!

“Yeah? You want more of daddy’s cock? S’that what you want?” He nearly purred as his sweat stained curls lightly tickled your forehead. His eyes were glued to the spot where your bodies were connected. He sucked in a harsh breath as his vision glazed over at the sight of your pretty little pussy tugging his cock right back in with each of his heavy thrusts.

“See the way your pussy is huggin’ my cock so tight? Pullin’ me right back in? Look how fuckin’ pretty she is, baby. Think she is the prettiest pussy I've ever seen in my entire life. She’s all mine, right? C’mon, my petal, I needa hear ya say it.” His nostrils flared as he licked hungrily into your mouth. He was consuming every last bit of you, and you were enjoying every minute of it.

“Yours, daddy! All yours.” You whined as your walls clenched down like a tight fist around his cock.

All good things must come to an end unfortunately, and your little fantasy that had been fulfilled every evening that summer, was going to have to end. That stupid boyfriend of yours was beginning to catch on ever since he caught you faking an orgasm the last time you and him had sex. Oops?

It physically pained you to even think about cutting ties with Joel. He was unconditionally good to you. All he asked for was your company. He didn’t need to ask; it was already his.

The leaves were beginning to change with the seasons as fall was approaching on the horizon. It was nearing five in the evening when you heard the all too familiar sound of Joel’s truck tires grinding over the cement. His driver side door swung shut as his footsteps neared your front steps. He was home from work, and immediately he wanted to see you. Nothing else mattered to him except seeing your pretty face.

You were pacing nervously in the front hallway as you went over the exact words you were going to tell him. We can be friends, right? Right. After you’ve spent months in his sheets, and he in yours, you’re just going to be friends? Fat chance.

You were torn from your thoughts at the sound of his knuckles rapping lightly on your front door as you wringed your hands together, taking a few deep breaths before you grasped the door handle in your palm and pulled it open.

“Hey, baby. Lookin’ gorgeous as usual.” Your fuck buddy drawled with that low, deep, texas twang of his as he leaned his elbow right up against the doorjamb.

Oh, fuck. You could feel a gush between your thighs just from the way he was leaning against your damn door.

Stay strong. Don’t fold. Don’t fold. Don’t–

“S’matter, baby? Everything’ all good n’that pretty head of yours?” He cocked his head to the side as a frown slowly spread across his lips when he saw your eyes suddenly grow glassy as a stray tear wobbled down your cheek.

“Baby–” He started, but you cut him off.

“We can’t fuck anymore, Joel.” You painfully muttered as his hand reached out to warmly cup your face while his thumb lightly brushed away your tear.

“Baby, what’s goin’ on? Somethin’ happen?” He sounded genuinely concerned as more tears began to fall and land on his bronzed skin.

“It’s my boyfriend,” You sniffled solemnly. “He knows, Joel.” Your misty dewdrop eyes met his calm gaze as he let out a soft breath between his parted lips.

“Oh, baby..I'm so sorry. I thought we were bein–’”

“Careful? Yeah, I did too.”

“How does he know?..”

“I faked an orgasm with him the last time we had sex which I think it was a week ago? Well, he grew suspicious after that. I’m so sorry, Joel. I never meant for things to get this messy.” You truly did feel awful for dragging Joel into all of this, and you never had the intention to hurt him.

“Baby, s’alright. Y’know what ain't alright? That stupid boyfriend of yours still not knowing how to treat his fuckin’ girl right. You’d think by now the guy would have some idea of how he should be treating you.” Joel held in a scoff as his hand that wasn’t presently caressing your cheek, dropped down to your waist as he pulled you in close. “I..guess this is goodbye then?”

“I don’t want it to be.” You murmured softly as you leaned into his comforting touch along your needy skin.

“Baby, y’know..it doesn’t have to be a goodbye then.” The gears in his brain were already beginning to twist and turn as he thought of a viable solution to your little problem.

“What do you mean? Joel, i’m serious, we can’t fuck anymore.”

“Sweetness, I know we can’t, and I respect that. I’ll never put my dick inside of ya again, unless you ask. But, I do think I have a solution for our little problem.”

Your pupils nearly doubled in size as the tip of his thumb dragged down across your lower lip as he tugged the soft flesh gently. His eyes bore deeply into yours as your thighs subconsciously rubbed together to relieve the building tension that was growing in the pit of your stomach.

“What is your solution, Joel? I’m all ears.”

“Well, first, I was hopin’ I could get a kiss. Been thinkin’ about these pretty lips and how badly I wanna kiss ‘em the second I walked through that door.” He rasped warmly.

Your immediate reaction was to loop your arms around his neck and close the smidge of a gap between the two of you before firmly pressing your lips against his. You licked into one another’s mouth with the same amount of passion. You could taste a morsel of tobacco along his tongue; must have bummed a smoke off of Tommy, as his hand that was wrapped firmly around your waist, slowly drifted down as he grabbed a handful of your left ass-cheek. A surprise squeak slipped past your lips as your tongues tangled.

“So, we can’t fuck, but there’s somethin’ else we can do..” He trailed off as he slowly detached his lips from yours. A string of saliva was visible between your once linked lips.

“You are not fucking sticking your dick up my ass. Don’t even think about it.”

He stifled a chuckle before stealing one more quick kiss. “Baby, I wasn’t thinkin’ about stickin’ my dick up your ass. I promise. I had somethin’ else in mind. Can I show you what I'm talkin’ about?”

You were weary at first, because what could he possibly have in mind? Going down on you? Okay, sure. You certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it, but if that was the case, why didn’t he just say it?

“Okay, I want you to show me what you’re talking about.” You agreed.

“Good girl. I promise this will be worth your while baby.” He pressed a tender kiss to your temple before he reached for your hand. Your fingers interlaced as he proceeded to lead you up the stairs to your bedroom. Your panties were undeniably soaked at this point, and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Go’n sit on the bed for me, darlin.’” He spoke firmly, yet softly as you padded over to your bed and slowly sunk down along the comforter.

“Now, sweetness, before you start worryin’ your pretty little mind about that silly boyfriend of yours, I promise that he won’t know about this.”

You dumbly nodded as you crossed one leg over the other, awaiting his next request.

“I trust you, daddy.” You softly cooed.

“Good girl. Now, I want you to take your pants off for me, baby.”

You wasted no time to pop the button off your jeans as you dragged the zipper down. You started shimmying the denim fabric down your thighs and legs, but before you could even grasp the band of your panties, he was stopping you.

“No, no, Angel. Jus’ your pants. Keep your panties on.”

Why was that so hot.

You slipped your thumbs out from under the thin elastic band of your panties before you kicked your jeans to the side. Your mouth began to water the moment you heard the familiar sound of his belt buckle clinking open.

“Good girl. Now, I jus’ want you to lay your pretty ass on the comforter. Spread your thighs a little, but not too much.”

You could feel the wet patch pooling through the thin fabric of your panties as you slowly leaned back on your elbows along the comforter and spread your thighs just enough that he could fit between them.

Your pussy pulsed inwards the second your eyes landed on his bare cock that was hanging out of the opening in his jeans. You nearly drooled as he swiped his thumb across his ruddy weeping tip that had a bead of pre-cum drooling from the small slit. He twisted his wrist a couple times before he slowly approached you.

His lips curved upwards in a sly grin when he saw the cock-dumb look on your pretty face. You took your lower lip harshly between your teeth when you felt the rough skin of his thumb brush across your covered aching clit as he gently rubbed the swollen nub in tight expert circles. His freehand was still wrapped around the base of hs cock as he watched your face twist into pleasure.

“Y’know, it makes me so fuckin’ mad that you ain’t bein’ treated right. The only weepin’ you and your pretty pussy should be doin’ is the good kind. Y’got literal honey drippin’ between your thighs, darlin.’ He oughta start worshipin’ you sooner, before someone else ends up doin’ it for him.” He tsked under his breath.

“Joel,” You whimpered wantonly.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m gonna respect your wishes n’not fuck you, but that doesn’t mean I still can’t make ya feel good. I’ll always take care of you, angel. No silly boyfriend of yours can stop me from treatin’ you right.” He murmured as he dragged his thumb down to the inside of your panties. He gently hooked his thumb around the damp fabric before he pulled it to the side. His mouth went dry at the sight of your glistening, puffy, needy little pussy. When it came to women, he didn’t mind their choices to never shave, or to just trim, or to completely go bare. He loved their pussies regardless of how they were groomed, or their natural appearance. They were all beautiful in his eyes, and deserved to be worshiped. But, he couldn’t deny how fucking pretty yours was, and how your slickness clung to the fabric of your panties like glue made his cock twitch in his palm.

He could bite his fist right then and there, but he had a job to complete.

“So pretty, baby. Prettiest little pussy. G’nna take extra good care of her now, okay?”

“Thank you, daddy.” you spoke above a whisper as he slowly slid the tip of his cock underneath your panties. You could feel the slick coolness of his pre-cum sliding across your folds as he rolled his hips forward. A deep grunt rumbled up his chest as he nudged your clit.

“You’re welcome, baby. Y’jus’ sit back and enjoy yourself, okay? Daddy is gonna do all the work for ya.” He promised you with a chaste kiss to your swollen lips as his hands came to rest along your thighs.

Now you fully understood what Joel meant by his solution to not fucking you. Christ, this was almost better than the feeling of his cock splitting you open. How lucky you were to have a man treat you like a princess.

“Oh, fuck.” You mewled as he thrust his hips faster, mimicking the same movements as if he was fucking you. “That feels so good, daddy.”

“Mhmm. I know it does, baby. I told you this would be worth your while.” He took his own lip between his teeth as he focused on the rhythm of his thrusts.

“This is almost better than fucking, almost.” You softly moaned as he increased his pace. Your hands found his as your orgasm slowly began to build.

“Nothin’ is better than fuckin’, Angel. Jus’ so lucky to make you feel good one last time. You’re doin’ so good for me, baby. I want you to cum, okay? I want to see you ruin those pretty little panties.” He urged you praisingly as the tip of his cock continuously bumped against your clit.

He was playing your pussy 100x better than your boyfriend ever could as you reveled in the pure pleasurable feeling one last time.

It didn’t take you long to reach your high as Joel’s hips stuttered forward as he spilled his hot seed right between your slick folds. He slowly slipped his cock out from underneath your ruined panties. He pressed soft kisses to your face, a playful nibble to the tip of your nose before his lips found yours in a searing kiss.

“Better take these for safe keepin’ so your boyfriend doesn’t know I was here.” He stated with a snicker as he gently slipped your soaked panties down your thighs. “I’ll getcha a fresh pair, okay, sweetness?”

Just as he was about to get up from your bed, your hand encased around his wrist, caging him in your grasp momentarily. “Wait, Joel?”

“What is it, baby?”

“Maybe..this won’t be the last time?..”

“Baby..”

“I want you, and if that means I have to break up with my stupid boyfriend? Then so be it. I’ll break up with him.”

“Angel, are you absolutely sure that’s what you want to do?”

“Yes. i’ll call him up as soon as you finish fucking me, and i’ll tell him that it’s over.”

A wicked grin spread across his lips as he situated himself between your thighs once more. “Well, I guess you won’t be needin’ a fresh pair of panties after all, huh baby?” He teased.

“Nope. Not while you’re around, Daddy.”

Banners made by the lovely @saradika ✨

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#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel x you #joel x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller au #no outbreak!joel miller

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unsaidthingsj2e · 1 year

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Promise i don't forget all of my fault in this

Summary : After Jude broke your heart, he can't help but regret how he did it. Loosing his best friend of 10 years is not something he knows how to cope with

a/n : here is part 2 to this fic, probably not what you were expecting but i like it this way better!

english is still not my first language so if any sentence doesn't make sense or if typos are hiding in there, i apologize!! (+ this is even barely proofread sorry)

title is a lyrics from Best by Gracie Abrams

To the eye of anyone else, his life looked like a dream.

With his career predicted to continue its raising towards a legendary peak, a beautiful girl he genuinely was in love with at his side and a promise of everything going his way in life, it seemed like the equation was solved.

The thing is, it was solved, he found x, he had x but he also threw x away, thinking it wasn't necessary to his well-being.

The problem is, x was his ex-lover, ex-best friend, ex-childhood friend. When he made the decision to leave her behind, he thought he did the right thing.

Breaking her heart was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he knew she wouldn't have survived seeing him with a new girl while still being in his life. He knew if given the option, she would've stayed at his side, as a best friend, a friend, an acquaintance. So in his mind, breaking her heart, leaving her with a lost soulmate was the best decision, for her.

He had not anticipated how much it would hurt him as well.

He spent the first week feeling unbelievably lighter. Lying to her, going out with his girl behind her back and cheating were not things he had enjoyed doing. He knew he had no right to be sad or even to complain about anything, being the one doing the cheating and not being cheated on.

He was certain if younger Jude could, he would find a way to travel in time and hunt current Jude down until the end of his days. She used to be so much more than an ex-lover.

Ever since primary school, she had been the only constant thing in his life. He had other friendships that he grew out of, he had girlfriends that wouldn't last enough time for him to even get attached, and he now had fans that would forget about him in a few months. But she was always there, and that's what made him think she was the perfect match for him.

He already loved her and they got along better than any other friends, he knew her inside out and still admired her, he already went through hell and back by her side. It made sense that what he was feeling was romantic love. And perhaps it was at first, or maybe it never was, he could not pinpoint the moment he realized he made a mistake and confused platonic feelings for romantic ones.

It's the fact that she realized so much faster than him that scared him, and that made the process happen so much faster. She managed to watch the light fade from his eyes before he could put a name on what was happening in his head when he looked at her. She noticed the nature of the blank stares he would be stuck in and deep down, she knew.

Tonight marks the third week since he broke her heart, and his guilt laced with longing is eating him alive. Because today was the 22nd of the month, day on which, every month without a miss, they would meet up one way or another to watch movies and gossip and catch up on lost time due to their busy schedules.

It had become a tradition since they were kids, Jude had to conceal football and school and ended up being able to spend less time with her. A June 22nd, she had voiced her worries of him forgetting her in the whole process, so he promised at least every month, she would get a night of his full undivided attention.

It was never just movies, some 22nd's were spent on her house's roof, stargazing while sharing terrifying thoughts about growing up, about feelings taking a meaning, others were spent driving around your hometown, signing along to their shared playlist.

But it always was on the 22nd. Twelve 22nd's a year, twelve nights to ensure their hearts were still each others.

Tonight's 22nd was the first one in eight years they weren't in each other's presence or on a videocall. On this 22nd, Jude decided he had to face his feelings. He was done hiding them and pretending this didn't affect him, he lost someone who was dear to him no matter who was to blame.

Coming home from practice, where his performance were mediocre at best, and ended in his coach voicing his worries about his mood and its affect on his stats lately, Jude was worn off.

Turning his keys in the door lock, his eyes fell down on the red phone cabin keychain he reluctantly kept after she forced him to. He had playfully refused to do so at first, claiming this was too much of a tourist thing to even just buy, let alone display on his keys. But she had argued that this would be a fond way to remember every place they had traveled to.

Not realizing he had been staring at the keys lost in thoughts for a few minutes, not making any moves to enter, a soft voice got him out of this haze.

"Jude, is that you?" He heard his girlfriend ask from the other side of the door, voice uncertain and fear audible

"Yes, yes it's me darling. Sorry about that I kinda zoned out", Jude rushed to explain while opening the door, noting how scary hearing the quiet sound of keys fumbling into the lock would've been from her point of view.

He stepped into his house, immediately face to face with his lover, whom he engulfed into a bone crushing hug almost as quickly.

"Today's the 22nd" he mumbled into her hoodie "It sucked, 'm feeling like shit and I did bad at practice"

One thing he made sure to do with any partner of his, was to make sure they both felt safe enough to share any thought, not wanting to hold the weight of any information by themselves. Therefore, he had told her everything about his feeling about his ex best friend, how much he missed her and everything about their moments ; including the 22nd tradition.

"Yeah, i figured you would- not do bad at practice, feel like shit i meant" she answered while playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, simultaneously rubbing comforting circles into his back.

"I just- it's so frustrating. I'm the one who broke things off, I got the fucking good side of things and here I am whining about it.", squeezing her body harder, Jude tried another way to convey the emotions that invaded every cell of his body, feeling like words aren't enough. Before he could continue, she interrupted his rant.

"Jude, hun, we talked about this. You did break things off but it was needed, even she could tell things weren't the same anymore. But she was your best friend, shit like that hurts even if it was the best option at the time", this conversation was held almost every day, he was convinced his feelings were not justified because of the way he handled the situation.

"Yeah, I know, my feelings are valid and all this bullshit, doesn't mean it doesn't feel unfair" he moved from the embrace to take his shoes off, focusing on the task to avoid his lover's eyes "I mean, I miss her so much and it's so selfish considering she's probably in her head overthinking the authenticity of every moment we ever spent together, I'm literally a piece of shit". His shoe laces weren't cooperating, seemingly in sync with his conflicting emotions. With a groan, he gave up, throwing himself on the floor with his back on the door, his head resting on it, looking up the ceiling.

She gently crouched down next to him, rubbing his thigh in hopes to calm him down with the soothing movement. "I won't lie and say she's thriving right now, because let's face the truth, it definitely destroyed her-", at this statement, Jude banged his head on the door, "-but. But it was a shitty situation that needed to be dealt with in a shitty way. You missing her is not you being selfish, get that out of your pretty head."

Now on her knees beside him, she brought her other hand on his cheek, nudging him to make eye contact with her. Her gaze was full of empathy for his internal struggle, understanding his part, but also seeing hers. "Did you-" she stopped for a second when he finally looked back at her, eyes glossy, "Did you think about reaching out to talk to her? I'm aware you don't want to do it because you're scared she'd come back and end up hurting more. But. If not for you, do it for her? You haven't seen her since you broke things off, and she didn't even get the chance to talk, she probably is dying to find closure in a way"

"You're probably right, she deserves it. I'm just not even sure she'd want to meet up though. I wouldn't want to see someone who is as much of a dickhead as I am. Good motives or not, I did this badly." Jude did not lack self awareness concerning this situation. It's because he knows her so well that he knew the words he used would wound her deeply, although unintentionally.

Voice barely above a whisper, he shamefully admits, "Sometimes, I don't even want her to get closure. God that sounds so bad but. I don't want her to forget about me, about us. 10 years of friendship is a fucking long time, I don't want her to wipe this off her memory because I was an asshole"

Not even bothering to correct him, and uselessly try to convince him he isn't an asshole, she instead continued, "Please, talk to her, she probably doesn't want 10 years worth of memory to be tainted by this ugly night. And it's been due, for both of your sake." She felt helpless in front of her boyfriend's misery, and would do anything to help it be less intense and all consuming. "Don't let her spend her first 22nd in eight years all alone, thinking you hate her", slowly detangling his shoe lace and tying it back the right way, she moved to kiss his forehead. "Be patient and let her time to voice her thoughts, yeah?"

He stood up, and took his time to take the woman in front of him in, he felt incredibly lucky this exact second. Any other woman would be fuming with jealousy at the thought of their man going to see their ex-girlfriend that they've known for half their life. He hated to think that getting her had to come with losing his best friend. "Okay, yeah, okay i'm going then. I appreciate you so much for this, thank you for understanding."

a/n : you guys : "part 2 w reader living her best life n Jude wanting her back!!"

me : "how about no?" i actually wrote about 6 different start to this but it always felt off, knowing how brutally Jude left reader?

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham #jude bellingham angst #footballer blurb #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham x you

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vex91 · 9 months

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Cho Miyeon - Broken trust

Pairing: Cho Miyeon x Female Reader

Fandom: (G)I-DLE

Requested by: @mygfiswonyoung

Request: hi can i request miyeon imagine ?!? something angsty maybe her cheating ?!? i need to suffer rn...

Summary: You never would have thought that Miyeon could ever cheat... well you were wrong.

Warning(s): Cheating

A/N: I love angst❤ Thank you for requesting friend <3 I'm sorry it's so short😔

3rd's POV

June 18th, the second best day of your life.

A day when you and Miyeon made it official and became a couple. You still remember how nervous you were preparing yourself to confess to the older girl only for her to beat you to it. Still you couldn't be mad since you still got to date a girl of your dreams. This was also a day her and your members found out about it since they walked in on you kissing after you said yes to being her girlfriend.

March 9th, the best day of your life.

A day when Miyeon proposed to you with the help of your sister, her members and your members. She took you to this beautiful part of the forest, a decorated table with your favorite food was placed there and the lights probably hung by the members were giving this romantic vibe to everything. After you ate, Miyeon made a speech about how much she loved you and how she couldn't live without you before kneeling and proposing to you with the most beautiful ring you've ever seen.

You couldn't be happier at that time.

But in the end it was all a big lie.

All the times she said she loved you, all the times she said that she can't live without you, all the affection, all the kisses, all of it looked like lies to you and you didn't believed that she meant all of it anymore. You didn't believe her that you were the only one she loved and the only one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, not when you saw her kissing your best friend.

You didn't see your future with her and nothing could change that, even her desperate pleas for you to not leave as she chased you to stop you from fully walking out from her life. Her cries normally would made you want to stop and comfort her but how could you do that when you were the one who needed comfort first?

So you left. You drove away in the direction of your sister's house leaving her alone with your now ex-best friend, alone with all the guilt she will feel and remember for the rest of her life but most importantly you left her alone with the ring, the one who turned from her promise to love you forever to the reminder of how she destroyed everything you've ever had together.

There was no going back to her because your trust for her was broken and there was no fixing it.

#vex writes #(g)i-dle x reader #gidle x reader #(g)i-dle reactions #gidle reactions #cho miyeon x reader #cho miyeon

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evita-shelby · 2 months

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No one has to know

Gale 'Buck' Cleven x nurse!oc, Diane Shelby

Cw: cheating/infidelity, secret relationship friends to secret lovers, consensual cheating, mentions of canon/irl deaths and captures

Somewhat inspired by 'no one has to know' aka that song from mrs maisel.

Buck had come to look for Meatball and found him in sleeping under a big tree on her lap as she sat there on an empty sack.

She stands out from the rest with her strange eyes, one blue one brown and that knack for somehow always knowing everything before you even tell her. That last part made her a hell of a nurse, or so he’d heard when one of the medics assuring him his men were in good hands.

Nurse Shelby, a Red Cross Volunteer from some other part of England and something that told him she’d never wanted for anything growing up.

“Just adventure, Major Cleven.” The girl says sitting on her uniform cape with his dog laying his head on her lap and acting as if she was his real owner. “My name is Diane, but everyone calls me Di.”

“Buck.” He said joining her with his dog between them, he hasn’t had a moment of peace since their first mission. “That’s Meatball.”

“I know, just being proper with you.” She said relinquishing his dog back to him, but the damn mutt refused to leave her lap. “Does your girl back home like dogs, Buck?”

“Yeah, always wanted one of these growing up.” He smiles remembering the letter he got from Marge with her reaction to Meatball. She couldn’t wait for both of them to come home.

He wondered how’d she react to knowing all these girls here throwing themselves at him like they did at home.

“Lucky woman. My boyfriend came back with a canary he got when he first shipped out. Called it Vera so he could say he has two birds.” The nurse mentions and he has no idea what that means.

“He had a second bird?” he asks assuming the boyfriend had meant him.

“In some parts here, we call girlfriends birds.” She smiles at his ignorance and continues stroking Meatball’s fur. “I was, well, am the second bird. Our Vera lives with his sister in Manchester now that I’m working here.”

No harm in being just friends, he thinks with relief.

Diane has her sailor; he has Marge at home.

No harm in being just friends.

“Does Marge know?” Bucky asks when he watches the little nurse laughing with her friends in a peach-colored dress.

She looks lovely, her lips red and the locket give her a dreamy look. Like the image you have of the girl waiting for her fiancée to return in those war movies.

“Yeah, just friends. Diane’s got a fiancé, a sailor named Tom Bennett from Manchester.” The blond man answered taking his eyes off her.

“Buck, you know there’s a risk even if the both of you have someone.” Johnny Egan was not made for monogamy, he had sweethearts everywhere and his Josephine knew and here he was warning him not to fuck things up with Marge.

He wouldn’t, he’s sure of it.

There was no harm in being just friends with her.

“I have Marge, she has her Tom. Sometimes people are just friends, Bucky.” He assures him and yet Gale Cleven didn’t stop looking at her even when Bucky began to sing.

June becomes mid-July and Diane is officially known as the other owner of Meatball ---when Buck isn’t on the base.

Both dog and owner had become cherished friends to her and while she was attracted to Buck ---tall blonds were her weakness--- Di was perfectly content being his friend and only that.

Marjorie looked and sounded lovely, and he had the politeness to say Tom reminded him of Bucky. They had other people and while infidelity was the least of anyone’s problems these days, Buck did not give himself the permission other men had gained from their wives and sweethearts.

Even Diane had told Tom when he first shipped out that he was free to fuck who he wanted because sometimes you need companionship and a good lay to survive this fucking war. Tommy had been quite the Casanova before the war and it didn’t surprise her to know he had fucked a girl he met at the docks when the Exeter gave him his first taste in mortality in 1940.

But she’s not my Lady Di waiting for me at home, he had said when he confessed it. He loved her, she loved him except now she was the fair maiden to his brave knight. Just as Marjorie is to Buck, Josephine to Bucky and everyone with someone waiting at home for them.

Besides, she’s perfectly fine with being just friends with Buck, been so long since a guy only wanted to be friends with her.

Besides it won’t be long before he goes on that mission he won’t ever come back from. The witch had seen it when he came back from his mission earlier and smiled when he saw her sitting under the same tree where they met.

She’d surprised him with a catalogue of luxury leather collars and matching leashes and pretended everything was fine.

“You don’t have to get him anything for being a nuisance, Di.” He said leaning against the tree and their shoulders brushed each other’s slightly.

“I don’t mind it, it helps the soldiers and civilians to see him about. They love spoiling him and he loves the attention. He’s going to be a handful for you when your tour of duty is over.” Di said as she showed him a catalogue of dog collars and harnesses from a local. “The collar is the least I could do for letting me care for your dog.”

Meatball had the collar he’d given him, and a vest made to allow him roam the base freely with the Red Cross badge ---American unfortunately--- and the 100th Bomb Group so they knew who to return him to.

He needed a nice leather collar and matching leash for when she or Buck takes him off base, and hopefully returns to America with his owner.

“They look expensive, I don’t want to put you in the red for a gift.” He points at the price of the collar they had picked.

“Oh, trust me, I’d have to buy the entire shop to get into trouble. Besides, the shop owners need the money more than I do.” Diane turns to look at him and finds herself struck by how beautiful he looks sitting here with her with the sunlight painting his blond hair golden and his eyes as blue as the sea.

She really likes him, and she’s always had the problem of falling hard and fast for a boy. Especially when he is so kind and thoughtful and so strangely principled.

And yet he like her knows something’s changed in the air as he leans in with a dreamy look in his eyes and lips that tell her how good they’d feel against hers.

But he has Marjorie and she has Tom, so Diane bursts the little bubble that surrounds them before they do something they will regret.

“We should go, someone ought to be looking for either of us.” Diane said as both pretend nothing happened and they’re just leaving at a perfectly normal time and don’t have the afternoon free.

He dreams of her and Marge now.

Buck had been right about the risk and perhaps he shouldn’t have let her be so close to Meatball, but the dog’s too attached to her now.

He likes sitting with her under the tree, talking to her and pretend they aren’t here for a while. He likes her, even if some find her eyes unnerving and are put off by her talent for tarot reading.

Somehow that explained how she always knew what to do in the medic tent, always knowing what her patients had and needed.

The Major barely knows a thing about her and the same goes for her, and yet he feels as comfortable with her as he feels with Marge. He tells her things he can’t find the words to tell Marge and she understands them fully because she shares the burden of war he has.

It was a dangerous thing, and he’d only realized how dangerous it was when they chose the new collar for Meatball. He had fallen for Diane, something that he hadn’t believed could happen when he loves Marge and she loves her sailor.

He would’ve kissed her if she hadn’t stopped. It had happened so naturally so gradually, somehow he forgot about his Marjorie back home and his promise to her and himself.

Gale Cleven had never been the type to stray and yet this sunny spot in this dreary place had him at the risk of betraying his girl.

Buck knows what he must do, and tells himself it is the right choice as he readies himself for another mission. A mission she claims won’t go wrong.

When he comes back, Meatball is wearing his new leather collar and the leash is left on his bed. He feels guilty for the decision he’s made, but better a ruined friendship now than two ruined relationships later.

The next missions go just as well, no losses even if they sustain some damage. One doesn’t even happen and yet gets counted as one making them all more optimistic about arriving to mission #25 much sooner and ,most of all, alive.

When he sees her again its August and she is as friendly as ever, taking a break under the tree after a busy day at the triage. She was on high demand now especially when all her seemingly meaningless predictions came true.

Last he heard some of the more superstitious boys had begun asking her how the next missions would go, and now Diane was the most popular girl on the base.

“I haven’t thanked you for Meatball’s collar,” he says feeling the loss of their friendship a little more now that he’s standing before her.

“You didn’t have to, I know why you’ve stopped meeting me here. Your Marjorie is a very lucky woman, Buck.” She gives a small smile in return and doesn’t gesture for him to sit with her as he had been doing these two nearly three months.

“Your Tom is a lucky one as well. I had to remind Curt you have your sailor. Said he’d marry you if all missions went as good as these have been.” He doesn’t know why he mentions that. He had not found it as funny as his friends, Curt knew nothing about Diane save that she was good luck and pretty and daughter of a politician.

The knowing look in Bucky’s eyes had claimed it was jealousy, as if he’d ever felt jealous of Diane’s fiancé.

“I get several proposals every week, I suppose if it gives them a reason to come back to, I won’t stop them from dreaming.” There is grimace she tries to hide and yet he’s come to know her well enough to know what it means.

Bad news.

She’d made that face when she was asked about the first try at Warnemunde resulted in the loss of a fort and all its crew. She’d done it when the boys had left to share the news with everyone else at the club and she tried to melt away from the spotlight.

“How bad is the next one going to be?” Buck loses his resolve to stay away and sits with her to comfort her at knowing she cannot change what she sees, or else she’d done it already.

“Really bad by the looks of my reading. Mission will be achieved but at a great cost.” Her mismatched eyes tell him she’s not telling him the whole truth.

Maybe she might be a real psychic and saw more than what she claims, but it doesn’t take a psychic to know most of the boys enlisted here won’t come home.

“If I don’t make it, promise me you’ll take care of him. You don’t have to send him to Marge if you don’t want to, he can join you and the canary in Manchester or Birmingham or wherever you and your Tom go after the war.” It is a solemn vow, entrusting her with Meatball who helps him and everyone in this hell stay sane.

“I promise, Buck.” She reaches out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze and he doesn’t stop her.

This time when they find themselves in the same predicament as before they don’t stop.

Her lips are soft and sweet, awakening a distant memory of Marge's and yet he doesn’t stop until they’re too out of breath to do more than rest their heads against each others in comfort and in fear that they won’t every see each other again.

No one would know about it nor the promise they’d made just as people on base hardly knew about this hidden little piece of heaven they had here.

He might die with this secret tomorrow and somehow that makes it better.

Regensburg goes as terribly as she’d seen in her readings.

90 men all either made prisoners of war or killed in action, boys younger than her and only a handful as old as her eldest brother.

But Buck’s not among them as she’d feared, he’d made it to Algeria with Bucky and those lucky enough to make it another day.

They’re to return soon, and she is afraid he won’t meet her at their tree after that kiss.

When he left to Regensburg the feel and taste of his lips had felt as present as they had the night before.

He was so unlike Tom, her Tom who she’d managed to see for a day sometime in July. He’d been jealous of her mentioning Buck, and with good reason.

And yet remembering she’d given him a free pass to sleep with a woman if he felt the need to do so, he had extended the same courtesy to him.

Because he believes she wouldn’t stoop so low as to shag an American, least of all an American with a girlfriend.

Now Di had kissed Buck and she’s okay if he never comes to the tree again because what matters is that he comes back alive.

When they return she’s too busy to even see him except for a few seconds at the triage. They’d come back the same way they left only this time with less losses.

Still too many if you ask any of them. The 100th had a one to 4 odds of survival for every mission, but such slaughter was deemed necessary for the war as was the incessant and indiscriminate night bombing the RAF did.

Buck had refused a medal, she’d heard. Reminded her of how her father threw his in the Cut, likely for the same reason as Buck did.

When she finally goes to their tree late in the evening, she finds him there waiting for her. Solemn as the grave, eyes red from crying.

“Curt was shot down, we were hoping he’d been one of the captured, but there wasn’t even body recovered at the wreckage.” It wasn’t just numbers to him, they had been his friends, people he cared for, people who had lives and dreams and loved in all the different ways that exist.

Curt had been with him since basic training, almost as close to him as Bucky and Bill and his crewmates.

Men are told not to grieve, not to cry and yet they grieve and cry as all humans do.

She held Tom as he grieved his father, as he grieved the boy who’d left and for all his friends and crewmates that didn’t make it.

“I’m so sorry, Buck.” She goes to him, unsure if she should hug him because that’s the best sort of comfort she can offer. She hugs him, holding him together as he lets himself fall apart.

He does more than grieve, he does what everyone in his shoes has done: seek comfort in the only way you can forget everything and everyone for a moment.

Buck cradled her face in his hands just as Tom has done all those times and kissed her like he loved her.

And it dawns on her, that she loves him. Something far worse than fucking another man was loving another man.

“Please, Di,” his voice breaks and he begs her to make him forget the hell they live in.

Tom would never know about this just as Marjorie wouldn’t either.

It is not like the times before with their respective sweethearts, its rough and desperate and something they’ll surely regret and yet this sweetest of sins cannot be called anything else but love.

“I think I love you.” He whispers to her, admitting this great sin that somehow weighs on him as much as that of knowing it is people he kills with those bombs.

“I think I love you too.” She pressed her lips to his again and pretending no one else existed beyond them.

No one would know this ever happened, and it was better for everyone else except them two.

It becomes a habit, after particularly terrible missions. Them seeking comfort and love and understanding in the only slice of heaven here. Just them and their tree.

“When I was dancing with Meatball, I kept wishing I could have the balls to dance with you, Di.” He admits as they kiss against their tree.

She won’t say what she saw, and he knows its terrible, bad or worse than Regensburg by the way she tries not to cry.

“Then take me dancing when you come back, Major.” Di laughs quietly as they sit against the tree like they did that first day they met. “Tom won’t mind.”

And Marge won’t know why.

He never wanted to be like his father and yet, here he was in love with two women and one as oblivious to the other just like his mom had been.

“You’re not your father, Buck, you won’t ever be like him. And if you want, this can be the last time we ever do this.” She always knows what he’s thinking, claims its part of her gifts.

He thinks its because she’s come to know him just as good as Bucky and Marge have.

He knows her as good as her Tom does. Tom who is a tall blond man she keeps in her locket and doesn’t know she loves him as well.

No one would ever know this ever even happened, just him and Diane. And somehow, that made it all the sweeter.

“I’ll give you an answer when I come back from Bremen, Di.” That night he carves their initials on the bark of the tree.

On October 8th of 1943, Major Gale ‘Buck’ Cleven’s fort, Our Baby, is shot down and all 10 men inside are made prisoners of war.

It is October 9th, 1946 that he comes back to that tree ,both are happily married and know their time together will always remain a secret.

When Buck comes to take Meatball back one last time, he wonders what could’ve been if they’d been free to love each other outside of the shade of their tree.

A/n: thank you for reading!!!!

If you find Diane Shelby sounds familiar, it is because she is actually an oc taken from my Tom Bennett x Peaky Blinders! oc for my cringe af world on fire and my peaky blinder fanfic crossover.

Au where Buck and Diane do get together: no one but you

#gale cleven #buck cleven x oc #gale buck cleven x oc #buck cleven #masters of the air fanfiction #mota #diane shelby #mota fanfic

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witchofthesouls · 3 months

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I have this image of Jack standing next to Arcee as June introduces her new boyfriend, the Titan (insert name here). Jack was already mortified when he learned his mom was a robo-fucker. This is a humongous mech who turns into a space ship and a city. A cybertronian sized city! The teen is floping down on the base couch having a full on nervous breakdown trying to push away all questions he realy doesn't want to think about, let alone get the answers too.

Meanwhile you have the Autobots marveling over June becomeing the first new cityspeaker since before the war. Also just the Quintessions being active is Alarming™️.

Who knows what our unhinged Titan friend is going to do when he learns human lives are so short especially if he's got a personality that's part Ratchet's and part Optimus.

Jack is having a breakdown for entirely different reasons because the Cybertronian gods did a coin toss to see if June will have Megatron and his child at Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays or if she will plan Megatron's demise. They'll either get along like dynamite in a mine, someone will end up dead, or both.

He has no idea how it will turn out, but when his mom has a Project. It's hers.

And I meant it's June that has a personality between Ratchet and Orion Pax. Like every good hospital worker with shitty administration, she's very much a person who has Malicious Compliance embedded in her bones with the addition of spite, energy drinks, and hidden contraband somewhere you wouldn't expect under a serene smile and a spine of steel.

If you are her people, then she'll mother-hen the shit out of you. She's intense and she knows that. June has gotten better over the years in that aspect, but should a friend or family need help, she's there.

20/10 will drive you to your surgery at 4 am as a designated driver, terrify your shitty apartment managers into compliance, or help plan a massive heist to take back all the money your cheating lover has stolen over the years for their side piece(s). She's built on solid alibis and documentation, documentation, and oh documentation.

She made a nest of giant pillows in the garage for Arcee, and even partitioned it out to give the femme the privacy to be rest in her root-mode when June needs to use the clicker. And Jack uncovered the plans to target Airachnid, and he has no idea how to feel about it because he can tell that his mom is heavily utilizing the medical commentary from Ratchet, the details of the 'bots' exploits that Miko manages to wheedle out, and his own experiences with 'bot-eating parasites...

The unhinged Titan has found a match, but it's not romantic. Oh no, June Darby now has a life-long project to spruce it up. And said Titan is not only over the moon that its new favorite person with similar levels of devotion, but has a lineage with a son that looks so much like her. It was once a major research facility that dealt with xenobiology. It's not above looking into ways to expand their lifespans. Anything for their favorite. Anything. Even if it must lure the resident scientists to its bosom and trap them to make use of its repository of accumulated data.

#ask #bookandyarndragon #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #june darby #jack darby #megatron #parental relationship #fic ideas #my thoughts #my writing #maccadam #look we need more fictional adults in unhinged yet solid friendships #like we need the friends to celebrate life events and still commit crimes together #Jack has it as well but under a different flavor #It's the “I'm responsible for your ass” flavor

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teddyeyeseddie · 9 months

Text

So Now What

Wednesday In a Cafe

older!steve X reader X older!eddie (no cheating, no steddie)

masterlist

Warnings: college student steve, a drunken kiss, alcohol consumption, a bad date, someone orders for someone else in a controlling way, eddie and steve are both 30 reader is 20”

(a/n: me having three series going at once? I AM SICK! n e ways thank you @lofaewrites for being my lovely beta, love you forever honey!!)

The crisp October air sent a small chill up your spine. The leaves fall down, settling on the sidewalk before you crunch over them on your way to Mr. Munson's house. You hoisted the pumpkin you were carrying up onto your hip as you approached the front door, knocking softly.

The door quickly opens up, Eddie smiling down at you, the toddler on his hip matching her father.

“Mr. Munson…” You offer politely, smiling up at him as the pumpkin almost slips through your fingers.

“Oh, here,” He goes to grab the pumpkin by the stem but you are quick to pull back from him.

“You’re gonna ruin it.” You state bluntly.

He chuckles, opening the door farther, forcing you to pass under his arm.

You carefully place the pumpkin on the table, smiling at the fall themed art adorning the man’s fridge.

“You don’t know how happy I am that you're back from school. These other sitters just can't handle Caden.” he sighs as he places Lily down onto the ground. She's giggling as she walks to you, extending her arms upwards in hopes to be picked up.

You really loved the little Munson family. Eddie, a younger single father of two, found you through some old clients whose kids no longer needed a sitter. He was desperate, his promotion at the docks swamping him with work.

This finally settles after a while. His work slowed down, his co-workers finally giving him the respect he deserved and needed to do his job. His kids stopped asking where Mommy was when Eddie was finally able to tell them she wasn’t coming back. He even bought himself a new car despite his heart being attached to his old rickety van.

She was everything Eddie Munson wanted in the world. She was spontaneous, bubbly, and so outgoing. They traveled across the United States when they graduated highschool, using his van for their journey. They continued to travel until one day when Eddie was 22. They were somewhere in California, Kim coming out of a gas station bathroom. Her skin was white, her palms clammy as she carefully reached out her hand to Eddie’s. The words still ring in Eddie’s ears everytime he pumps gas.

“Ed, I’m pregnant,” She says, the tears in her eyes falling as she looks up at Eddie. He’d just gotten back in the car, sweat beading at his neck from the blistering summer heat.

“You’re what?” he questions, hands beginning to shake as he reaches towards the test that is in Kim’s other hand.

His whole world changed that day, Kim turned into a mother and he loved every second of watching her become the best one he’s ever seen. They settle down in a small town on the coast in California. Eddie began working at the docks to bring in a steady income for their growing family while Kim found work at the town’s library.

Three turned to four and four to three the day Lily was brought into the world. It left Eddie cold for a long time. He didn’t understand how his little family could get torn apart so easily. He mourned her, drinking more as he pawned his kids off on his Uncle for days at a time. Bender after Bender leaving him void of will.

He finally woke up one day, calling Uncle Wayne, crying and begging him for help.

Wayne helped, Eddie finally got better, his mourning now just a dull ache in his heart. The kids came home, happy to see their father smiling.

In the time that Wayne helped Eddie back onto his feet, Eddie had found you through some friends and hired you practically on the spot.

June and July passed quickly, Caden and Lily fell in love with you. You loved the job so much that you always offered to watch the kids when you were home from break.

So, here you are for your 2nd fall break in a row, all of the other sophomores down the coast for fall break.

“So what did you need me here at 4 in the afternoon for? Your date isn’t until 7…” You question as you begin to grab a soda from his fridge.

“Lovely I haven’t been on a date since Kim. I have no idea what I'm doing. What do I wear?”

You laugh at his obvious flustered demeanor, he rolls his eyes at you before grabbing your arm that’s not holding Lily and dragging you to his room. Since Kim’s passing the house has become more Eddie. You imagine his old childhood room was probably covered in posters and odds and ends. His house has framed concert posters on the walls and the random movie memorabilia scattered about.

His bedroom is no different. There are more posters adorning the walls, pictures and polaroids tucked into random places. It’s endearing and makes you smile at the progress he has made since you first met him.

He pulls shirt after shirt out of the closet, deaming each one “not good enough”. He throws his head back in frustration as he takes a seat next to you and Lily on the bed. He looks down at her and pouts.

“What’s daddy gonna do, Lils? What do I wear?” he questions as he pokes at the girl’s belly causing her to laugh.

You get off the bed, walking into his closet and rifling through his shirts.

“Here, this one. Wear your black jeans and the boots I got you for Christmas last year. Black on Black on Black, just how you like it,”

He gets up from his place on the bed, walking into the bathroom and quickly changing. He walks out with a small pep in his step. He twirls dramatically, you and Lily giggling loudly as he turns his back to you and looks over his shoulder.

You leave Eddie to get ready. He comes down moments later in the outfit you picked out. You're pretty sure it would make any girl swoon.

The four of you spend the extra time Eddie has before his date watching TV. Eddie checks his watch and smiles, he throws you a twenty dollar bill and yells something about pizza before strutting out the door and to his truck.

You wait up for him, your feet curled up on the couch, a blanket covering your body as you watch one of your favorite Halloween movies.

The front door opens much earlier than you expected, Eddie coming in, his hair pulled up high on his head, little pieces pulled down framing his face.

You smile brightly at him but it quickly falls when you see the look on his face. He looks defeated, the bags in his eyes heavy as he makes his way to the fridge, pulling out a beer. He cracks it open before he approaches the couch and plops down.

“That bad, huh?” you question as he takes a swig of his beer. His eyebrows raise as he does so, he pulls the bottle back from his lips, sucking in air between his teeth before speaking.

“That's the understatement of the century,” he says with a sigh.

“Wanna talk about it?” you question, turning your body to face Eddie, your elbow resting on the back of the couch. He turns to face you also, his body mirroring the position you're in.

“First of all, she hates metal. Second, she doesn’t want kids and third, she chews with her mouth open!” he shouts, his exasperated nature causing you to chuckle.

“She was so rude to the waitress, and she tried to order for me.”

“She sounds awful,” you say, laughing again as Eddie gets up to retrieve another beer.

“She was,” he states, “You want some wine? I bought you some to have while you’re here as long as you dont rat me out to your parents for giving a 20 year old wine,” he asks as he walks to the kitchen.

You giggle again, nodding your head as he turns around to look at you.

The two of you pass through beers and wine quickly. The bottle now left between you as you pass it back and forth.

“You know anyone would be lucky to have you,” you say quietly, “I think you’re pretty cool..”

Eddie cocks his head to the side, smiling at you.

“You think?”

“I know so..”

Eddie’s eyes flash to your lips, smiling softly as he thinks about how they’d feel to kiss. In a moment of drunken courage, Eddie leans forward and catches your lips in a kiss. You lean into it at first but quickly pull away when you realize you’re kissing your boss.

“I-I gotta go,” you mumble as you get up and start your journey home.

“Wait- Lovely I’m sorry,” he says as he walks towards you, his arm sneaks around your own as his eyes beg you to accept his apology.

“It’s ok, I gotta go. My parents are probably worrying,” You slip on your shoes, grabbing your bag and heading out the door.

You turn around one last time.

“Bye Eddie,”

Halloween comes in a hurry, Eddie sending you pictures of the pumpkin you had given Caden, all carved and ready for the night. You were back at school now, fall break coming and going. You had managed to avoid Eddie for the remaining days of break, a hard feat since he was only two blocks away from your parents.

You ignore the text from Eddie, focusing on the piece of literature before you. You’re nose deep in the book when a presence before you pulls you out of your luul.

��Hey um, are you in Professor Allen’s literature class?” you smile up at the man, cocking your head to the side.

“Yeah, her 3000 levels.” the man’s face lights up as he takes a seat across from you.

“I thought I had recognized you, I uh- sit up in the front,” he replies as he pulls out a book.

You finally take time to really look at the man, the way his sweater brings out the color of his eyes, the way his hair lays perfectly atop his head, the stubble adorning his face making his jaw more prominent. He’s not old but he’s definitely not your age.

“I was hoping you could help me with something?” he says.

“Of course,”

“I don’t quite understand what’s happening with Don Quixote here..” he says, a smile on his face.

You spend several hours walking through the book with the man, his questions challenging you and making you further dive into the book.

“So do you understand?” You ask the man. He nods his head before collecting his things.

“Yeah, I got it now. Thank you so much for all your help.. I really appreciate it.” He picks nervously at the strap of his backpack.

“Yeah no problem! I’m sorry though I didn’t catch your name..” you say as you collect your own things.

“Steve. Harrington.” he cracks a goofy smile as he extends his hand to you.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you respond, clasping his hand in your own and giving it a firm shake.

“I’ll see you around?” you question. He nods his head and smiles at you once more before leaving the library and heading for the parking lot.

You and Steve fall into an easy friendship, constantly together in the library discussing Professor Allen’s homework. You make it to the end of the night, the two of you holed up in a study room on the second floor of the library. It’s nearing 12am when you both decide to call it quits. You’re packing up quietly when Steve’s voice breaks the silence.

“Do you uh- wanna come over for a drink?” he questions, his hand scratching at the nape of his neck. You burn bright at his request, slinging your backpack over your shoulder.

“M’ only twenty,” you reply shyly, he cocks his head to the side and chuckles.

“Well I figured you weren’t quite my age, m’ old and boring,”

“You aren’t.. What are you 25?” you question. Steve laughs and opens the door to the study room for you.

“Try 30 sweetheart,” he replies with a grimace on his face.

“S’ ok,” you shrug,”chicks dig older guys,”

Steve raises his eyebrows as the two of you walk past campus security on the first floor, he waves a small goodnight to them before he passes through the entrance of the library behind you.

“They do huh?”

You nod, smiling back at him. He catches up beside you and the two of you make your way to the parking lot.

“My car is uh- this way,” Steve mumbles and shoves his thumb to the right.

“Steve, I don't drive. I'm following you because I think you promised me a drink at your place,”

He smiles down at you, offering a small bow allowing you to walk in front of him in the direction of his car.

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leclsrc · 1 year

Note

hey! congrats on 1000 💓

need some angst so could you do a drabble of carlos and reader already broke up for a year bcs of some problem (but not cheating pls) and they finally met again and realized both still have feeling towards each other so they decided to start the relationship again, thanks!

saving grace — cs55

genre: angst, drabble, 1k celebration. title from this

There’s a sticky note tacked onto your living room corkboard, buried now under fresh reminders and receipts and grocery lists. You sometimes pass it by and forget it, but when you catch the orange peeking out from underneath the bits of life you’ve stuck atop it, you pause and remember. Tonight is the first time you seek it, fish it out from a trove of daily memories—coffee receipts, coupons, birthday cards—and hold it in your hand. You stare.

June 17, it reads. Anniversary dinner.

The memory of writing this out refuses to purge itself from your brain, along with many other memories of years past. The bad and the good ones stick themselves inside your brain like stubborn mildew, unrelenting, even a year after you stopped making them.

Lewis’ wedding reception is colourful, vibrant, and you’re half sure it’s Drake at the DJ booth—all telling of the kind of fun, sociable person Lewis is. You’ve gone around greeting and kissing people in a half-daze, having been stupefied by the sticky note earlier today, drowning the loudness of the thoughts with wine. It’s dark outside the venue, populated by cars and some staff, when you dip out to smoke a cigarette.

Your heels crunch against the gravel as you light yourself one and press it to your lips. And, as if conjured by your inexorable thoughts of him, Carlos’ voice penetrates the quiet midnight air. “You never could kill that habit,” he says, a few paces in front of you. You puff out a billow of tobacco smoke and smile.

“It’s gotten a lot better,” you say. You’re right: post-breakup, smoking was one of the things you turned to the most, and in an effort to make a change, you’d stopped doing it regularly. “I only do it when I need to.”

He nods, walking slowly toward you. “Why do you need to?”

When you see Carlos up close, you find nothing much has changed in the past year of his absence. His face is the same, chiseled, so very Spanish. His voice is the same, distinct and, when with you, comfortable enough to slide into occasional phrases of his own language. His hair is a bit longer, and he combs it back with his fingers, waiting for your response.

You pause, weighing your options. You could go the polite route, steer this conversation somewhere different, but that’s not what’s pulling at you. Yanking, almost, begging you to say what you wish to really say. So you do, in a breathless confession. “It’s June 17.”

Briefly, Carlos looks surprised, but it settles into a neutral expression. “I didn’t think you’d remember. Hace mucho tiempo que no hablamos.”

“I found a Post-it from two years ago. I wrote our anniversary dinner reminder on it.”

“We…” He pauses. He could use a cigarette, if he’s being totally honest with himself. “We made a lot of good memories.”

You’d be lying if you said he was wrong. Together, the memories feel like home, even when they’re of bad or forgettable moments. Your memories are waiting for the coffee to brew in the morning, washing race suits and getting bubbles of soap on your nose, mockups of a house you planned to buy together, faded photographs that went from being on the fireplace to being in a box, date night dresses, hungry kisses when you’d been apart for weeks, loud fights that are monitored by Pinon.

Carlos’ memories are folding laundry so you have extra time to sleep in, designing a nursery (red, he said, for Ferrari, and you claimed you would find another father if it went that way), warming up to cats, couch sex when neither of you wanted to get to the bedroom, cooking competitions that, despite his best efforts, you always won, tackling you onto the carpet when he finally got to be with you again, family dinners where nobody asked him anything and were too busy focused on you, realizing you were moving out.

Both of you realize that these memories, no matter how good, how concrete, how bad, are memories. They’re things gone. “Why did we stop making them?” He asks quietly, a follow-up to his own sentence.

You drop your cigarette and kill it. “I think we needed to, if just… for a while.” Sometimes, you think you’re tied to Carlos, fingertip to fingertip, a string always keeping you tethered. Loosely tied, infinitely long, stretching from New York to Spain, Rome to China, wherever to wherever. A totem of your connection, your relationship; a thing of the past, something lost. Something gone.

“For a while,” he echoes. You’d both been so caught up with work that the relationship took the backburner, and eventually, neither of you felt like putting out anymore. Domestic life was no longer a priority once work became more demanding, gave you both more success, and in the end that’s what you chose. Both of you. Work. And so you lived days out alone, and in clumsy moments, you’d say something intended for Carlos. It took weeks for the habit to die. For you to realize that, however much you wanted a reaction, it wouldn’t come.

But a while is just a while. A blip. A learning period. There’s a stretch of silence and the leftover tobacco. “It was nice talking,” you say with finality. Your brain swarms with these memories still, imperfect and impulsive ones.

As you turn, he speaks again, even more quiet. It stops you in your tracks. “I’ll call you.”

You smile. “I’ll pick up.”

#f1 #leclsrc1000 #carlos sainz #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagines #carlos sainz fanfic #f1 x reader

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bcofl0ve · 2 years

Text

Invisible String (Part 6)

part 6/9

ship: austin butler x fem!reader

summary: a summer fling when you were working on the set of the shannara chronicles turned your life upside down with a positive pregnancy test after austin returned to the united states. a pregnancy test, and a daughter that you never told him about. until the elvis biopic found him back in your orbit and forced you to face the music.

chapter summary: austin comes back from the week long stint in the u.s., things are discussed and things are realized.

word count: 3780 (longest part yet!)

author’s note: V*MIT TW in the last day/chunk, but nothing too graphic! this is very dialogue heavy but our fav doofuses have quite a bit to talk about 😅 next chapter is an austin pov interlude thing and i am VERY excited for that so ty for sticking with me here!

i live for comments and love talking about my writing, feel free to pop me an anon anytime!

xxx

June 28th, 2020

You sent Austin a text after you listened to the voicemail saying you got it and did want to talk. But outside of quick hellos and goodbyes on the outskirts of him facetiming Cora you hadn’t said much else to each other. And you didn’t want to prod on his first day back after he spent an obscene amount of time traveling, so you settled on trying to catch him at the end of everyone’s first day back on set.

It was a late night- but you didn’t think you’d sleep if you put it off another day.

Spotting him heading in the same direction you were as you got closer to his trailer, you walked a faster to catch up to him. Austin turned when he heard the footsteps, looking startled until he realized it was you.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” You supplied and he waved you off. “‘is alright.”

It fell silent between the two of you again, and you crossed your arms over your body, suddenly feeling small in the dimly lit trailer lot.

“Follow me home? Cora will be in bed, but if you still wanna talk,”

“I do.” He said quietly, adding that he just had to change and then you could head out. When he climbed the steps and opened the trailer door to go inside he didn’t close it right away, tilting his head back towards you.

So you followed him in, standing against the closed door as he pulled his costume off and changed into street clothes.

“How was your trip back?” You tried after a minute and he chuckled under his breath as he tugged his sweatshirt over his head. “Really fuckin’ long.”

The quip broke some of the tension at least, the two of you making amicable small talk as you walked to the parking lot. The next ‘big thing’ being filmed was the Vegas residency, the way Austin practically buzzed as he talked about how excited he was almost making you forget you were upset with him.

Almost.

“Go say goodnight if you want, I’m gonna make tea.” You said as you opened your front door and he disappeared down the hallway while you relieved the babysitter. You were sitting cross legged on the couch when he came back out, standing in the mouth of the hallway looking almost nervous to approach.

“Sorry for being such a bitch on the phone.” You said bluntly as he finally did walk over.

“Hey, don’t call my baby mama a bitch.”

A laugh escaped at that, but then Austin sat down next to you and you were nervous all over again.

“And you weren’t being a bitch anyways, you were hurt.”

“Didn’t really have the right to be, you can't cheat on someone you're not dating.” You stated, Austin not letting that go without a rebuttal either.

“Sure, but I think I earned the tongue lashing.”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you took a short breath to gain a smidgen more composure before you started talking again.

“Said in your voicemail that you didn’t sleep with her.”

You looked down and focused in on a loose thread hanging off your cardigan sleeve, seeing him sit up a little straighter out of the corner of your eye.

“I didn’t. She was kinda upset when we were talking about Cora. I didn’t wanna be a douche so I tried to comfort her and she had her head on my shoulder. Got done snifflin’ and kissed me.”

Hm.

You didn’t disagree that the other woman was owed an explanation of the timeline. A clarification that you were only involved during their break and that Austin really didn’t have the faintest clue about Cora until April. But a pang of possessiveness coursed through you as Austin was relaying the chain of events. You tried unsuccessfully to push it down.

“We did uh, makeout. But when she went for my shirt we both snapped out of it. And then she started freaking out asking if she’d just made me a cheater and I said not exactly, because we weren’t exclusive- the rest just kinda tumbled out.”

His retelling of that part in the voicemail had left with more questions than answers, mainly surrounding the three word slip that had felt like an anvil dangling over your heads since it had happened.

You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to look at him. “So when you said what you said, on Facetime,”

“I meant it.” He started, clearing his throat. “It was the heat of the moment, yeah, but it only slipped out cause it was all I’d been thinking about since leaving you two at the airport. How different it felt to know I was coming back- good different.”

“Cora missed you like crazy, drove me nuts when I was still mad.”

It was a redirect, but you were starting to get overwhelmed and it tumbled out before you could convince yourself to just swallow your anxiety and push on. Not a good enough redirect though, not when Austin only focused on the last part.

“So you aren’t anymore? Mad, I mean.”

“Upset, a little jealous. Not mad.” You said, suprised by your own honesty.

Austin seemed to be too, pulling his eyebrows together.

“Jealous of what?”

Returning to the loose thread on your cardigan, you plucked at it aimlessly. “That if you wanted to get back with her it’d be easier. Less strings attached, nothing tying you down- less to lose it it didn’t work out.”

You realized you were rambling and stopped abruptly, the room was silent when you did save for the low buzz of the radiator.

Austin broke the silence first, running a hand down his face.

“I get that you’re looking out for Cora by keepin’ me at arms length here Y/N, a hundred percent I do. But I guess my thing is that don’t plan on going anywhere. And I want to be with you if that’s what you want too.”

I want that more than anything, you thought, but what came out of your mouth was the thing that had made that feel off limits permanently since April.

“If you hadn’t come back for Elvis, if we never ran into each other,” You said tightly, fidgeting with your hands. “You probably wouldn’t have ever known Cora existed unless she tried to find you on her own as a teenager or an adult. And I don’t understand how you could ever forgive me for that.”

You were embarrassed by how much your voice was shaking, really not wanting to cry and feeling dangerously close.

Austin sucked his bottom lip in and took a short breath before he spoke, voice gentle.

“I forgave you the minute I saw Cora when she came out of the hallway that first night. So little, lookin’ just like me. I understood instantly why you did what you did to protect her.” He started.

"And I think what you need to do now, Y/N, is forgive yourself. I would’ve loved to be involved sooner, but you weren’t keeping me away to be cruel. You were protecting our baby the best way you knew how, that’s it.”

Swallowing thickly, you looked down in an attempt to hide the tears you felt pooling. What you wanted to say was that you didn’t even know how to begin to do that. That every time Cora told you how much she missed him when he was gone for one night- or you watched her run to the door to greet him, guilt surged through you like a lightning bolt.

Not just over what Austin had missed out on either, but what Cora had too. And you knew somewhere in the back of your mind that you needed to forgive yourself before it ate you alive.

Hearing it out loud, from him, that's what put a lump in your throat.

Austin scooted a little closer, asking you softly to look at him as you swiped at your eyes.

You felt his hand on your knee when you lifted your head, the way he was massaging your leg about to do you in because God- you loved him.

But scared that you’d start crying in earnest if you tried to articulate even half of what you were thinking, you kissed him. And Austin kissed you back as you maneuvered over into his lap, hands sliding up your neck to your cheeks as he pulled away just enough to talk.

“I love you so much honey,” He whispered, rubbing his thumb against your jaw. "You know that?"

Tilting your head to the side to kiss his fingers where they were resting against your face, you gave a small nod. “I do.”

It was a couple hours later when you worked up the nerve to say a certain three words back, laying in bed tracing infinity loops over his shoulder blade with your index finger. You thought he was too close to sleep to hear it until you felt him stir, eyes fluttering open as he pulled you in a little closer by the arm he’d had wrapped around your torso.

It felt good to be love and be loved in return. You could get used to that.

---

July 22nd, 2020

Not a lot changed after that night, mostly because of the fact that you’d been acting like a couple from the second you ended your “not in a relationship” conversation anyways. But the little adjustments that did crop up were welcome.

Austin practically lived at your flat, only going to his when he had an obscenely early set call. The two of you sat Cora down a week in and explained to her in four year old terms that mommy and daddy were in a relationship, something she made sense of via proclaiming that the the two of you were just like Flynn and Rapunzel. Not that you minded the comparison.

And on top of all that Austin got a new manager that couldn’t have been a sweeter woman. To the extent that she brought a little present for Cora the first time she came over to meet with the two of you together.

All in all things were going better than you ever imagined they could.

Save for the lingering anxiety in the back of your mind about what was going to happen when Elvis wrapped. You felt secure in the knowledge that Austin wasn’t going to up and ghost, but it regardless wasn’t a topic you could avoid broaching for much longer.

“Hey Aus?” You said on the drive to set one day, rubbing your thumb against his hand where he was holding yours over the console. He glanced over at you with a quirked eyebrow, and you looked at the road as you spoke.

“What are we going to do when Elvis wraps? Cora and I are both Australian citizens. And I hate asking you to uproot your life- but the thought of losing you all over again,”

You didn’t realize how anxious you really felt about it until that last part slipped out, Austin squeezing your hand as he pulled to a stoplight.

“Do you think you’d wanna move to the U.S.? If you don’t wanna uproot Cora we can look at me movin’ here.”

He said it so casually, like he wasn’t suggesting he leave his entire life behind to move across the globe, and it went right at your heart.

“I can’t ask you to do that. She’s still little, and sure visa shit would take time but I think she’d adjust okay.”

“Alright then, so we’re gonna figure this out, and no one is gonna lose anybody.” He replied with a smile as he raised your interlocked hands to kiss them before driving through the green light. “I promise.”

The conversation lingered in your mind all day at work, and still was after work when you met up with Leah for Chinese food. Immediately, and unsurprisingly, she noticed.

“You’re quiet.” She stated, looking at you over her work with a skeptical expression.

“I finally asked Austin about what we’re gonna do after filming wraps.”

“And?”

Twirling noodles around your fork, you glanced around to make sure you were mostly alone before you continued. “He offered to move here if I thought moving to the states would be too much for Cora. And I think she’ll be fine, I told him that.”

“So are you lookin’ at getting a K1 visa?”

You almost spit your food out at that, Leah laughing at how wide your eyes got. It had come up in the research you’d starting during your break on set, but you made haste in scrolling past those results.

“We’ve haven’t even been together together for a full month, we’re not getting engaged Leah.”

She didn’t seem to take that for an answer, putting her fork down to prop her head up on her hands. “C’mon, do you really think there’s going to be anyone else?”

You knew what she was implying but you were quiet for too long and she rephrased the question anyways, tone a degree more serious.

“Do you think either of you are going to end up with someone else at this point? You’re planning on moving countries for him, moving Cora. I like to think I know you pretty well Y/N and you wouldn't be willing to sacrifice so much if you didn’t think Aus was your end game here.”

Picking her fork back up, she pointed it in your direction with the look she’d always given you when there was no point in arguing against whatever she was saying. Not that you had a particularly good argument, that in itself a realization that felt heavy.

“When you know you know, that’s all I’m saying.”

---

July 29th, 2020

Since the the dust settled between the paparazzi fallout and figuring your relationship out Cora had become a semi-regular visitor on the Elvis set whenever Baz gave the greenlight for it. She had Austin and just about everyone else wrapped around her finger, quickly becoming little miss popular among the cast and crew whenever she was around.

And it did your heart good to watch everyone take her under their wings, the fears you’d had about losing your job over the ‘scandal’ of it all feeling silly in hindsight.

On this particular day the two of you had opposing schedules, Austin leaving the day at two after an early morning call when you were just coming in to work lights for some casino scenes with Tom. You brought Cora with you to swap off, and give her some time to run around what had quickly become her favorite playground.

The last you saw after the switch she was fine and giggling on Austin’s shoulders as he showed her around the International Hotel set. So when you had a couple seconds to check your phone almost an hour after you parted ways, the text from twenty minutes prior that you were just seeing came with a bit of whiplash.

Hey, Cora threw up. Gonna take her back to yours once she seems okay enough for the car ride. DW about rushing home but call when you get a minute.

Well, you were worrying whether he wanted you to or not. And you were about to call when you heard footsteps coming towards you and looked up to a rather frantic production manager. She seemed to clock that you knew why she was there, running a hand through her hair.

“Been running around like a mad woman trying to find you, Austin’s on his way to parking lot B.”

You thanked her before taking off across the studio, spotting him getting into the drivers seat of his car as you reached the lot. Speeding up to a run so he didn’t drive off before you reached him, you managed to get there before he hit the gas.

“Hey, I’m so sorry- she was fine earlier, I wouldn’t have brought her to set if she was sick.” You rushed out as he rolled down the window, waving you off. “Kids puke baby, nothin’ to be sorry about.”

Your attention was pulled by sniffles before you cohort respond, Cora having spotted you from the backseat. Opening her door and crouching down, you were met with a four year old hiccuping through tears.

“Sick on daddy,” She whined, cheeks flushed.

“She threw up on you?

Turning towards the drivers seat you realized Austin didn’t have a shirt on under his hoodie. And you hoped that at least meant she hadn’t thrown up on the Elvis jumpsuit Austin had on when you first got to set.

“I was already outta costume,” He supplied with a little shrug, and you muttered a quiet “Thank you Jesus.”

Sighing as you stood back up, you reached into your back pocket for your phone as you spoke. “I can tell my supervisor what’s going on and he’ll let me go, he’s good about Cora.”

But Austin shook his head, reaching for your arm to stop you. “I got her, really.”

You met his eyes then, realizing suddenly why he was being so insistent about you staying at work. He’d been alone with Cora before. But the worst he’d had to do thus far was talk her down from the occasional tantrum.

This was different, and you got the sense that he was treating it like some sort of parenting litmus test. And while you didn’t have any intentions of drilling his abilities as a father yourself, ever, you were touched by how adamant he was being about the whole thing.

So you put your phone back in your pocket with a soft “Okay”, giving Cora a goodbye with an assurance that you’d be home later before shutting her door.

When you popped back up to the driver's seat Austin leaned out of the car window for a kiss, promising he’d call if she got much worse.

Your phone buzzed only a couple minutes after you’d walked off, leaving them while he was still parked getting Cora calmed down because you had to get back to set.

Thank you for trusting me. Love you.

The message brought a smile to your face in spite of how shitty the situation was, and you shot back a Love you too. before put your phone on do not disturb. If Austin called it would come through anyhow, and you wanted to try your best not to helicopter text about Cora.

When you were leaving for the night and did check your phone you had a litany of notifications from Austin. And Cora being sick was far from ideal, but the live feed he’d been keeping you on via text was so sweet you found yourself laughing some under your breath.

No puking in the car, considering that a win.

Got her to keep a couple crackers down.

Nevermind. 😅

Outfit change #2 time (for me, not Cora bless her heart).

She threw up when she was laying in bed and missed the bowl. Put the dirty stuff in the washing machine but don’t know where you keep the spare bedding and don’t want to leave her alone to look too hard. Gonna set us up on the couch.

The next message came with a photo of the back of Cora’s head, blonde hair pulled into two braids that you didn’t think looked all that bad.

Asked me to do her hair after I gave her a bath, I did my best!

I hate knowing you’ve been doing this all by yourself all this time. You’re a super mom.

Cora hasn’t thrown up in a hot minute and says she’s feeling “less yucky” so we might be out of the woods. Think we’re both gonna be asleep by the time you get home though. I love you.

He’d assumed right by that, the sight that met you as walked into your flat the both of them asleep on the couch. Cora was curled up under Austin’s arm, her head resting against his neck with a hand on his face.

The sight was so sweet you snapped a photo before moving to wake them up. Which you felt a horrible about, but Austin couldn’t afford to screw up his back on your couch or get whatever Cora had come down with. Which it might’ve be too late to avoid given that she’d thrown up on him, and from what you’d assumed by his texts a second time at that. Better safe than sorry though.

He stirred when you scooped Cora up off of him, a flash of panic crossing his eyes before he realized it was you.

The husky “Oh, hi,” he gave you sounded absolutely exhausted, his eyes not even open all the way for a minute there.

“I’m gonna let her sleep in my bed,” You whispered over your daughter’s head as he sat up slowly. “And I hate to kick you out but I don’t want you to catch whatever she has.”

Austin stretched his back, waving you off as he turned back to face you. “‘s fine. I think it’s just food poisoning anyway, she didn’t have a fever or nothing.”

“And if it’s the flu then Baz is gonna have my head for getting you sick.” You replied, knowing the argument was already lost.

He followed the two of you down the hallway, Cora waking up fully as you were laying her down in the middle of your bed. Opening her eyes, she gave a little tired smile when she saw you.

“Hi momma,” She said so quietly you almost didn’t hear her, and it was moments like this that you really understood what people said about your kids being your heart walking around outside of your body. Brushing a few hairs out of her eyes, you smiled softly.

“Hi Cor, you feelin’ a little better?”

She nodded at that, but pulled her gaze away from you to scan the dark room, sitting up some in your bed as you laid down next to her. Austin was across the room plugging his phone in, your bedroom too dark with the lights off for Cora to see where he went.

“Where’s daddy?”

“Right here sweetie,” He said softly as he came back over, climbing into bed and pressing a kiss to her head as he laid down.

Cora ended up sandwiched between the two of you, her head knocked back on Austin’s chest with a foot nudged almost in your ribcage.

And Austin had a protective arm slung over the both of you, Leah’s words running through your head like a skipping CD as you tried to sleep.

“When you know you know, that’s all I’m saying.”

xxx

tag list (tags don’t always work, i do my best!): @chernayawidow @theinvisiblecapricorn @aalishifts @mavericksicybabe @cryingabtab @kittenlittle24 @invisiblee-smoke @mrs-munson-quinn @cevans-winchester @kikilovesdankmemes @oh-austin @chrissie-soula @starcatchxr @butlervol6 @thedeviltohisangel @redhoods-gf @gabrielajimenez @stlover288 @alqvarde @loudwombatmugkid @austinbrainrot @ab4eva @m0ndayagain @marlowmode @kingbouji3 @gardenavenue @yeonimii @eliseinmemphis @blurredcolour @tiddieshakeshownu @fallininlovewithurlove @briannaisanxious @amiets2 @karamelcoveredolicity @amnmichh @mrsniallhoran505 @strokesofstokes @starry-night-20

#invisible string by bcofl0ve #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfic #austin butler headcanons #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler imagine #austin x reader

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jerzwriter · 4 months

Text

If it's not late, it's probably not me! Not for all things, but for a whole lot, so it's with my sincere apologies that I post this "Countdown to 2024" on the 9th day of the year!

Now, I'm going to be honest: I started to write this, and the list got huge. HUGE. And while I like to spread the love and be as inclusive as I possibly can, at some point, it began to look like an amalgamation of everything I've read in the year. So, I decided to scale back and follow the rules (gasp!) ... sort of... lol

See, I don't think writer appreciation should be limited to these events. Writer... creator... appreciation is a living, breathing act that should take place year-round. Each time you comment, share, or even leave a little ❤️ on a fic, you're showing your appreciation, gratitude and, honestly, you're serving yourself, because that simple act may be the very thing that tips the scale and makes your favorite say, "You know what, yeah! I'm going to keep doing this."

So, to every single writer in the fandom - thank you. I tried to show you love throughout 2023, and I hope to do more of that in 2024... you all mean so much to me!

But, I'm limiting this to three (and lawd that really was NOT easy) lol

When I closed my eyes and thought of the last year in fics, this is what came to my mind...

One...

@alj4890 - Seriously, I feel she is a writer who deserves so much more love than she gets. And, if y'all were smart, you'd take the time to change that in 2024! I love the passion that she has for every one of her pairings, even though she knows my favorite will always be Tobias x Chris (OH). Whether being light and witty or delving into deep emotion, your fics are always touching and beautifully written. I'm excited whenever I get a tag from you! Some of my favorites in 2023 were Visceral Reaction, Holding On, Nope (I had to give Trystan x Cameron some love, too!) and you know I was just crazy about The Wake. What a great concept! But I wouldn't be mad if you got back to Mixed Signals. Selfishly, I hope 2024 brings you more time to write, but honestly, I just hope it brings you joy!

Two...

2023 will always be the year that I fell in love with Crimes of Passion, and with that, I discovered another corner of our community and the many talented writers within it. I will forever bow to the queen of Crimes fics (yes, you @inlocusmads - there needs not to be a vote; it has been decreed! And New York, June 2014 was one of the first things that came to my mind when recalling this year's fics!) I got to learn about some writers I was not familiar with previously (shout out to @shreyamistry - your Trystan x M!MC Fanfic lives on in my mind, and I'm always hoping for a follow-up!) It gave me the opportunity to see some of my old favorites soar in a different place (hello @storyofmychoices @trappedinfanfiction and @lilyoffandoms - Lily, can we please have more Trystan x Gabriel all day every day??? PLEASE). And it did something I love more than anything: it allowed us all to see new creators step up and share their love and talent with us, and right now, I'm looking at @stars-are-within-me and @moominofthevalley Crimes wouldn't have been as enjoyable without you. @stars-are-within-me, I appreciated you taking the time to give us parts of the story that Pixelberry failed to address. In my opinion, the best was The Favorite Brother, and I may be a little biased, but I loved the beautiful trio of stories you wrote for me in the Secret Santa (Airport, Angel, and Cookies). You're so supportive of everyone, I'm so glad you're a part of our fandom! @moominofthevalley your writing is just beautiful, and I have found myself lost in your Trystan x Emily stories on so many occasions. It's hard to pick a favorite, but Heavy is Her Heart , The Girl With The Glass, and Turpentine stick out in my mind. You are masterful in conveying emotion, and these fics are perfect examples of that.

Three...

(You see how I cheated here, sort of? lol) I will never be able to look back on 2023 and NOT think of the hijinx of Ethan x Merida, Bryce x Olivia, and Tobias x Casey. They wouldn't have been possible if not for the vision and talent of the incomparable @lilyoffandoms and @storyofmychoices. Sure, "they" were born in the end of 2022, but they grew up in 2023! The way I smile when whenever I see a notification for another story with our babies! I love every single one of their shenanigans, but two that stand out to me were Mystery Unlocked by @storyofmychoices and When Husbands Become Prey by @lilyoffandoms (the way I CACKLED when I saw that title! lol). These six were a highlight of 2023, and I know there is much more to look forward to this year! Love you both, and love our babies!

And four... because I be like that lol

I can't not mention @mydemonsdrivealimo because 2023 was the year of Jensen in my book. And while I loved your works from earlier this year (looking at you Your Love and What I'm Becoming), I have to admit, Halloween owns me... and not jus because of the connection to Noah. lol Your descriptive writing and the way you convey painful emotions are just brilliant.

Thank you to each and every one of you for bringing a smile to our faces or tears to our eyes this year, and thank you for helping the fandom move along! ❤️

@choicesfandomappreciation

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 5 months

Text

Closure

Fandom: Elvis Presley, American Musician

Pairing: Elvis Presley x Addison Goodwin

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Jessie Goodwin Presley, Lisa Marie Presley,

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 7145

Summary: The Class of 1980 aren't the only ones learning a few things.

Tags/Warnings: Graduation, Set in 1980, College Graduation, Angst, Fluff, Past Trauma, Arguing, Lying, Past Cheating, Mistrust, Kissing, Affection, Miscommunication, Mentions of Death/Dying, Long Term Illness,

Notes: The last one was far too fluff heavy so here’s a lil angst sandwiched between some fluff <3

Also the inspo for scott is tom cruise in looks only cos I don't fuck with that man AT ALL but as 80s heart throbs go he's a good one - I would've had rob lowe if he wasn't my inspo for young jerry

ELVIS MASTERLIST // ELVIS AND ADDISON MASTERPOST

Addison winced as she tugged on her skirt, realising too late in the day just how short it was and that it would no doubt be no defence in stopping the backs of her thighs from sticking to chair plastic in the rampant June heat. She just thanked her lucky stars it was the dry heat of California and not the swampy warmth of Memphis she’d long since become acclimatised to. As she tugged it again it gave way a little, stopping just short of her mid-thigh but making her grunt in disapproval as her mood soured a touch more. Not that her outfit choice had much to do with how she was feeling. Still, today wasn’t about her. It was about Jess and she wasn’t going to let some silly outfit or anything else ruin that. She’d done her job, she’d raised her baby to be a good person, a sweet young woman who was ready for the next chapter in her life which was entering the big wide world. She’d got her to graduation and Addison was going to be damned if she let anything stop her enjoying that.

When she walked out of the bathroom she found Elvis sitting on the bed slipping his shoes on though his movements slowed as he watched her move around the room finishing getting ready. She could feel his eyes on her but she said nothing, rubbing perfume into her pulse points as he watched on quietly.

‘Still not talking to me?’ he said after a moment of silence, his words finally getting her to turn around, a scowl on her pretty face.

‘Are you gonna accuse me of more ridiculous things?’ she asked, watching him expectantly, ‘because if the answers yes then yeah, I’m still not talking to you.’

‘Oh Addie come on you’re being ridiculous,’ he said standing up from the bed and coming towards her. He’d expected the frosty nature she’d left him with last night to have thawed by now though he should’ve known his wife well enough to know that once she was set on something she’d see it through to the end. He had just hoped the end would’ve come before they had to leave for Jess’ Graduation.

‘I’m being ridiculous?!’ she scoffed incredulously, ‘after last night?’

‘What am I supposed to think?’ he asked defensively.

‘You’re supposed to trust your wife!’ she said angrily, pushing past him and heading to the door, grabbing her purse off the dresser as she went.

‘And you’re supposed to tell the truth!’ he said hot on her tail. At his words she whipped around, trapping him inside their room as she stood on the threshold, the anger from last night back on show though he could see she was trying to stifle it, pushing it down inside herself and allowing a mask to take hold.

‘You know what?’ she said, ‘I’m not doing this.’

‘Ads,’ he sighed.

‘I’m not talking to you about this now,’ she said.

‘What are we gonna do sit in silence?’ he bit back.

‘No,’ she said firmly, ‘we’re gonna smile and be supportive of our daughter on her graduation day because she deserves her parents to be there for her and not wrapped up in their own shit.’

‘Addie,’ Elvis said feeling his anger and irritation be ripped away only to be replaced by guilt.

‘I mean it Elvis,’ she warned, ‘we are not ruining today for her got it?’

He watched her for a minute forcing whatever upset and anger she was feeling down inside herself all in the hope that Jess would have a good day. He knew it was probably wrong to do so, to force the emotions bubbling through the pair of deep inside themselves, but as he thought of Jess preparing to enjoy her special day he couldn’t help but agree with his wife. Today was about Jess. Their little tiff would have to wait and so he did the only thing he could do, nod.

‘Thank you,’ she said tersely moving away from him as she said, ‘be downstairs in five.’

And then she disappeared heading downstairs as Elvis flopped back against the door jamb, closing his eyes with a sigh. He knew it was his own fault. That this little spat they were having probably could’ve been handled a whole lot better it was just that his own doubts had gotten the better of him. He’d allowed ideas to fester, to spin out of control, until finally he’d snapped, his anger fuelling his wife’s and leaving them both unhappy in the process.

‘Oof what did you do to piss her off?’ he heard a voice say nearby and looked up to find Lisa watching him with a bemused expression.

‘Nuthin’,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘and what have I told ya about swearin’. It ain’t lady like.’

‘Well whatever it is you better fix it,’ Lisa warned, ignoring the jibe about her household etiquette like she did most of her attempts to reign her in, ‘because she’s right. Jessie don’t need you two screaming at each not today.’

✵✵✵

‘Jessie Josephine Presley,’ the dean said forcing Addison to sit a little taller in her seat as she watched her daughter emerge from the side of the stage walking towards him with a smile on her face, one that grew slightly embarrassed as she heard a distinct rise in the noise level as Elvis leapt to his feet hooting and hollering with help from his entourage as they celebrated her.

‘Dad stop embarrassing her,’ Lisa grunted, pausing her clapping to tug on his jacket as she tried to corral him back into his seat with little avail. It was only then Addison’s eyes left their daughter going instead to her husband who continued his celebrations before they landed on Lisa.

‘Leave him be,’ she said smiling as Lisa rolled her eyes and went back to her own applauding. Only once Jess was safely across the stage did he sit down, sinking back into his chair as he pretended not to notice the ogles and stares from other parents as realisation sunk in. They weren’t the only ones staring though as beside him Addison couldn’t help but glance his way her heart swelling with pride. Even in the sweltering June weather he seemed to feel the heat of her gaze, their eyes meeting for the first time since they’d sat down. Elvis smiled at her, his heart too full to even think about their current situation and though Addison returned it her mind seemed to wander back to it quicker than his as she looked self-consciously back towards the stage. Elvis held in a sigh, the guilt from before creeping in, and in order to fend it off he leaned in hoping his sentiments would be regarded in the way he intended as he murmured, ‘I know we’re not speaking but you did really good with her.’

‘We did good,’ Addison corrected, offering him a smile in return.

It wasn’t much but it was enough to ease the palpable tension they’d been sitting in just a little though as the dean continued to drone on, listing his way through the rest of the alphabet, it didn’t stop either of them from thinking about the reason they were in this mess in the first place.

Elvis was sitting in his room staring at the phone as if looking at it would change the information he'd heard come from the helpful lady at the bank not ten minutes ago. As if looking at it would vanquish the hurt inside him, hurt that only worsened as Addison appeared at the door, an apologetic smile on her face as she rushed into their room, kicking off her shoes and dropping her purse to the floor as she said, 'hey, sorry I'm late I hit traffic on the freeway.'

'Hm,' was all Elvis could mutter in return, his lacklustre response not noted as she continued in her own world, oblivious to the temperature of the room.

'And I know we said we should go out to dinner tonight but would you mind if we skipped it? I mean we're going out tomorrow and it's only Mar and Jer,' she reasoned.

'Mmmhmm,' Elvis said, though his jaw was so tight he wondered how he'd even managed to get the noise out, but its quietness evidently spoke volumes as she turned around, watching him curiously as she said tentatively, 'everything okay?'

'I don’t know,' Elvis said honestly, 'why don’t you tell me?'

'Huh?' she asked, her brows knitting together in confusion that only made the hurt inside him turn to irritation.

'I mean I thought whilst I've been spending time with our daughter you were out doing the same but apparently not,' he said, watching her closely as she started putting the pieces together. She'd seemed genuinely confused at first but as he mentioned Jess, the pawn in her lie, the realisation appeared to surface.

'Elvis,' she sighed and though her tone was gentle he knew it was still a warning. But Elvis wasn't listening, he didn't want to give her a chance to lie to him and so he continued, 'I mean you sold it well. I have to admit your actin' skills could land ya in Hollywood.'

'What's that supposed to mean?' she said.

'No, no, Elvis you spend the week with Lisa and Cilla. Give me some one on one time with my little girl,' he said mockingly which made Addison's jaw tighten. They were teetering on the edge of a full blow row, his mocking and mentioning of her only trigger, their daughter, only adding fuel to the fire, but she was holding back. He could see it in her eyes that she was trying to calm herself but he had no interest in letting her, too heartbroken to take a minute to think.

'Let me explain,' she said.

'Why don’t you explain why you said you were spending the week with Jess when in reality she hasn't seen you at all,' he spat.

'I'm sorry okay, I didn't mean to lie to you. I just thought-'

'What that I wouldn't figure it out?' Elvis scoffed, shaking his head as he moved away from her, 'funny ain't it. I mean I always thought I'd be able to read you but I guess we're both stupid.'

'Just let me explain,’ she said indignantly.

'What so you can tell me I'm wrong? That you ain't lied to my goddamn face? Though again I guess in the scheme of things lyin' ain't the worst thing here,' he said, he was by the window now, staring out at the view of their backyard as he felt tears building inside him.

'What?' Addison asked angrily, 'what exactly are you accusing me of? Because I admit I told a lie but I told you I'm sorry-'

'And is that supposed to make up for cheatin' on me too?' Elvis said spinning around to face her in the hopes that there was still some part of him that could read his wife. That in the heat of the moment he'd know the truth.

'Wait you think I'm having an affair?' she asked the disbelief in her voice matching that on her face though it broke through to laughter. Laughter that died as she noticed he remained stony faced, ‘you're serious?'

'As a heart attack.'

'Elvis,' she said, all amusement gone from her voice as she watched him brokenheartedly, 'you really think I'd do that?'

'Why not? It's happened before,' he reasoned.

'You mean Cilla?' she said and though he didn't reply his silence was enough. After all he'd been down this road before. He'd lost his last wife to another man but that he could understand. That had been down to his own actions. Their marriage wasn't like his and Priscilla's which is why he didn't understand how she could do something like this, why it hurt so much more to think that she could.

Whatever hurt Addison had been feeling however turned to anger, the tears brimming in her eyes being quickly brushed away as she said, 'well excuse me if I thought that our marriage was a bit stronger than that.'

'Don't turn this around on me!' Elvis protested.

'How could you think that after everything we've been through? How could your immediate thought be that I'd throw our marriage, our life, away and for what? Some guy? Some five minutes of nothing-'

'What am I supposed to think?' Elvis said, 'you lied to me. Told me you were hangin' out with Jess when you're hanging around seedy motels in Reno.'

'How did you-' Addison whispered, confusion bubbling inside her once more though he wasn't letting her have any time to process it.

'So come on what is it? Some old boyfriend from Vegas? I mean it's perfect distance from here, hell, you don’t have to bother goin’ all that way-'

'You were checking up on me?' she asked, the puzzle pieces slotting together as she realised the only way he could've known where she had been was by tracing her credit card.

'I got curious,' he spat, 'sue me.'

They were both quiet for a moment, watching each other closely as the anger between them festered in the air. She knew he would be angry. She knew that he wouldn’t understand that had been why she had elected to keep it a secret in the first place, well at least until she was sure about what she was going to do. But to have him think this? To think that one little white lie could be a cover for her throwing their marriage away hurt her deeply. In fact, she couldn't even process how he could think so low of her.

'You're unbelievable,' she said, breaking the silence as she turned to walk away from him. He could be angry if he wanted. He could shout and scream but she was angry too and she wasn't going to dignify his ludicrous accusations with a response. Not until she had calmed herself at least because she knew if she did she'd only be flinging the hurt he was feeling back at him. And that was asking for trouble.

'Don't you walk away from me,' he shouted.

'I'm walking away from you being ridiculous,' she called as she headed into the bathroom.

'I'm not being ridiculous I'm asking my wife for a fuckin' explanation,' he said, grabbing her by the arm though she wrenched it from his grasp as she whipped around to look at him.

'No! No, you don’t get to accuse me of doing something like this and then expect explanations. If you wanted an explanation you could've just fuckin' asked me but you had to assume the worst of me,' she said brokenly.

'Addie,' he said, the anger in his voice evaporating when he saw how hurt she was.

'Leave me alone Elvis,' she whispered, and before he could protest she shut the bathroom door in his face, leaving both of them standing on either side of it wondering how their night had come to this.

✵✵✵

'Jess over here!' Elvis called gruffly as he spotted his daughter, too busy chatting to her college friends as they made their way through the stands to be actively looking for their respective families. As she looked up she broke into a smile and bid a quick goodbye to the girls around her before she hurtled towards them, breaking through the pockets of people gathered around until she was in front of her parents.

'Hi guys,' she said as he swept her up in a hug, holding her so tight she felt as though he may have squeezed all the air from her lungs, not that she minded given they hadn’t seen each other in weeks.

'Congratulations!' her mother said watching as Elvis finally let her go, allowing her to be able to hug her.

'Thanks,’ Jess smiled.

‘C’mon now let’s see it,’ Elvis said gesturing to the diploma in Jess’ hands which she unfurled so they could have a look at it causing Elvis to offer up an impressed whistle, ‘phew ain’t that sumthin’. Now that’s goin’ in the trophy room for sure.’

‘Dad it’s not that big of deal,’ Jess blushed, tucking it back under her robes and out of sight as a blush tinged her cheeks.

‘It’s a huge deal! You worked your butt off,’ Addison said with a proud smile.

‘Your moms right,’ Elvis agreed, ‘my daughter is a college graduate and that’s something worth celebrating.’

‘Yeah well I heard your celebrating all the way from the stage,’ Jess giggled.

‘That was just the start,’ Addison said, ‘plenty more to come.’

‘No party right?’ Jess asked hesitantly.

‘No, we followed your orders,’ Addison said.

‘Yeah we followed your rules,’ Elvis grumbled, ‘you guys really know how to ruin my fun ya know that.’

‘I couldn’t risk you asking everyone over to our house like my high school graduation,’ Jess said raising her eyebrow at her father who shrugged as though he didn’t recall inviting every member of Memphis Catholic High’s senior class over to Graceland despite the fact Jess only had a few close friends given that she barely spent time there due to their chaotic schedule.

‘Well we did exactly as you said and booked a table at boulevard like you wanted,’ Addison said unable to stop herself from smiling at the memory which didn’t go unnoticed by Elvis who smirked in response.

‘Thank you,’ Jess said, ‘because I just want-’

‘Hey Jess!’

At the sound of her name being called she whipped around to find a boy coming towards her a beaming smile on his face. Elvis and Addison watched as he rushed up to her her, wrapping her up in a hug as they beamed at one another.

‘Congrats!’ he said excitedly as he finally pulled back though he didn’t let her go. Addison and Elvis shared a look.

‘You too!’ she said excitedly, ‘can you believe it we actually made it.’

‘I know it doesn’t feel real,’ he said with just as much enthusiasm.

‘I know what you mean I,’ Jess said stopping mid-sentence as she seemed to come back to reality and realise her parents were still standing beside her, watching her and her friend with the same curious expression, though admittedly her father’s was a little more hostile. The boy seemed to notice they weren’t alone at the same time though his face seemed less embarrassed and more in awe as he realised just who was watching them. It was a look Addison had seen a million times before, one she’d never quite gotten used to, seeing strangers fawn over her husband but she wasn’t interested in looking at Elvis. She was eying the boy in front of her and more importantly the way Jess had looked at him.

‘Uh mom, dad, this is Scott,’ Jess said as she detached herself from the boy who placed his arms firmly near his sides, ‘Scott this is my mom and dad.’

‘Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs Presley,’ Scott said offering a hand out for Elvis to shake though he merely looked at it, scrutinising the boy as he sweated in his formal wear.

‘Mmhmm,’ Elvis grunted.

‘Nice to meet you too,’ Addison said rushing to relieve the tension by picking up the conversation though not before she subtly nudged her husband who rolled his eyes but put the boy out his misery and shook his still outstretched hand, ‘I take it you’re graduating too.’

‘What? Oh yeah,’ Scott said, ‘though I don’t know how. I wouldn’t have made it without Jess she got me through our business class for sure.’

‘Is that right?’ Elvis asked again earning himself a discreet dig in the ribs for his tone.

‘Well isn’t that nice,’ Addison smiled, ‘you know we’re having a little get together if you want to join? The more the merrier and all that.’

‘Mom,’ Jess said red glowing underneath her radiant summer tan as her blue eyes went wide.

‘Actually,’ Scott said awkwardly, ‘my folks have a party planned but uh thanks.’

‘It’s f-fine,’ Jess stammered, ‘don’t worry about it. Enjoy your party.’

‘Call you later?’ Scott asked.

‘Sure,’ Jess nodded, offering him a small smile which he returned before he disappeared into the crowd. Jess looked at her parents exasperatedly though both of merely shrugged. Before she could berate either of them though she was engulfed in a sea of people as the rest of the celebrating party descended forcing Elvis and Addison to take a step back. Elvis wasn’t really paying attention to the mob, his mind too focused on his little girl, well his not so little college graduate and the way she’d beamed at the presence of that Scott kid. He did however notice how a hand slipped into his, a head on his shoulder as his wife watched the group too, her mind on the same thing.

✵✵✵

The air was cool when Addison stepped out of the restaurant though she didn’t know if there was a chill in the air or rather that the restaurant itself had been sweltering due to the sheer amount of people Elvis had invited to join them. Jess may have gotten her wish of having a simple get together rather than a party but that hadn’t stopped him inviting every friend and family member they had. Still, Addison couldn’t complain because even with all the fuss she’d declined wanting she’d seen just how happy her daughter had been all afternoon.

‘So, how’s it feel to be a college graduate?’ Addison said sidling up beside her daughter as she left the building and diverting her away from the masses of people gathered on the sidewalk, ready to head home or continue the party dependent on the whim of the Presleys.

‘Pretty good,’ Jess smiled leaning into her mother before she pulled back.

‘It suits you,’ Addison giggled, ‘so what do you wanna do now? We could go back to the house I got a cake.’

‘Actually,’ Jess said her happy smile dimming with nerves as she murmured, ‘I’ve been invited to a party.’

‘Oh,’ Addison said trying to not sound too disappointed.

‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘that’s okay right?’

‘Of course it is. It’s your day after all,’ Addison said with a smile as she moved a strand of hair off her face as watched her. At her acceptance Jess visibly relaxed and Addison couldn’t help but smile. It never failed to make her laugh, how days like these had been something she’d used to dread, and yet now she couldn’t help but enjoy them. Sure she would’ve liked to have spent all day with her but she was just happy that Jess felt comfortable having her own life. A life that may or may not have included a handsome brunette boy. At that thought Addison smiled. She may have been able to let her little girl go but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to have some fun of her own.

‘This party wouldn’t happen to be Scott’s would it,’ Addison said quirking an eyebrow as Jess flushed deep crimson.

‘We’re just friends,’ Jess stated.

‘Okay,’ Addison giggled.

‘Mom!’ Jess chastised.

‘What?’ Addison asked feigning innocence.

‘You’re looking at me like, well, like that,’ Jess scolded.

‘Oh I’m not looking at you like anything,’ Addison said waving her off, ‘and if you wanna be just friends that’s fine.’

‘I know that,’ Jess said.

‘But your dad and I were just friends,’ Addison added watching as Jess rolled her eyes.

‘Well thanks for your input but like I said we’re just friends. Though speaking of dad thanks for coming today,’ Jess said swiftly moving the conversation on in the hopes it would get that warm fuzzy feeling to leave her stomach.

‘Like we’d have missed this,’ Addison said.

‘I mean even though you guys are fighting,’ Jess said, batting that awkward feeling back into her mother’s court.

‘How did you know that?’ Addison asked.

‘Well Lis ratted you out,’ Jess answered, ‘but I would’ve been able to tell anyway.’

‘Well don’t worry about it. Besides it’s nothing to do with you guys,’ Addison said guiltily.

‘We’re a family remember. It has everything to do with us,’ Jess said, ‘you guys good?’

‘We will be,’ Addison said firmly.

Jess looked as though she wanted to get into the semantics of it all to make sure that there was nothing to worry about but fortunately for Addison a car pulled into the parking lot before she could ask any further questions. It wasn’t that she minded how much Jess cared about her parents because she knew it only came from love. It was just that it wasn’t her place to worry about them. She had her own life. She didn’t need to parent her parents. It had been one of the reasons that Addison, though devastated, had insisted she go to college where she wanted to which just so happened to be two thousand miles away from Memphis.

‘That’s my ride,’ Jess said waving at the two girls in the front of the car which was idling in the middle of the lot.

‘Go,’ Addison said with a smile.

‘But dad,’ Jess protested, looking for her father who had still yet to emerge from inside no doubt having been collared by fans or friends.

‘I’ll tell him you said goodbye,’ Addison said leaning in to hug her before pulling back and pushing her towards the car, ‘now go! Have fun!’

‘Bye,’ Jess nodded, ‘love you.’

‘Love you honey,’ Addison said as Jess dashed towards the car, chatter immediately breaking out amongst the girls as they headed off on their journey.

Addison watched as it disappeared onto the street her mind running over the past twenty-four hours. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions, not all great, and yet on the whole she felt fine because as she felt a hand touch her waist, her husband’s handsome face coming into view as she turned to look at him, she knew that when she had told Jess everything would be okay she was telling the truth.

‘Where’s Jess?’ he asked, scanning the sidewalk but seeing his eldest nowhere amongst the crowd.

‘She had a party to get to,’ Addison replied.

‘She ditched us?’ Elvis asked incredulously.

‘Maybe we’re not the best company,’ Addison said.

‘Addie,’ Elvis sighed. Since they’d gotten to the restaurant the mood had changed and he’d hoped that their tiff had been forgotten though it appeared that was not the case.

‘Wanna go for a ride?’ Addison asked softly. Elvis paused. The tiff might not have been forgotten but he could tell from her voice this wasn’t a request for a repeat of the screaming match they’d had the night before and given he wanted to get to the bottom of it too he couldn’t deny her only request.

‘Sure,’ he said.

Even though most of the party would be headed back to the same house as them it took a while for them to get away from everyone given that they were all still in the party mood. Eventually though the pair managed to break free, climbing into the car and heading out onto city streets until they got to the coast line. Since it was still relatively early and a weekend the beaches were lined with people and Addison watched them as they whizzed past, frolicking on the shore line and sunbathing under the western sky. Elvis however wasn’t watching the scenery, he was barely watching the road, because he was too focused on watching his wife, wondering what was going on in that head of hers. Eventually he couldn’t take it any longer and so he pulled into a little parking bay overlooking the cerulean waves below. When she kept her eyes forward looking at the expanse of ocean in front of them he cleared his throat causing her hazel gaze to find him.

‘So, is this round two or a truce?’ he asked, quickly looking back out the windshield as he awaited his answer hoping it was the latter as he wasn’t sure he had another fight in him.

‘The second,’ Addison said, ‘I’m sorry about last night.’

‘Me too,’ Elvis agreed glancing at her though he couldn’t help but shift guiltily under her gaze, ‘I know I shouldn’t have said what I said.’

‘It really hurt me…that you could think that stuff about me after everything. E, I would never do that to you, to us,’ she said quietly.

‘I know, I know,’ Elvis said turning to look at her properly, ‘but you gotta understand where I was comin’ from. I mean it’s happened to me before, hell, I’ve been the one cheatin’ before Addie. It was just the sneakin’ around, the secrecy, it stirred up all this worry in me and I didn’t know what to think.’

‘Maybe…but you know me Elvis. You know me better than anyone. Even if you had a million ideas in your brain surely you knew I wouldn’t do that,’ she said.

‘I know,’ he said sadly, ‘and deep down I knew it couldn’t be true but honey you ask me to trust you and I do. But you lied to me. Anyway you slice it there was a lie there.’

‘I know,’ Addison said sadly. She knew he had a point, that she had no right to expect his trust given that she had lied to him, but it was the fact he could contemplate her betraying him like that. He was her love. Her only love. But that didn’t mean he’d understand. That didn’t mean that they always saw eye to eye and that had been what she’d been afraid of which is why she had lied.

‘Don’t ya trust me?’ Elvis asked hoping her answer wouldn’t be anything but positive.

‘Of course I do!’ Addison said, ‘El I trust you more than anyone on this planet it’s just…I didn’t know how you’d feel. I didn’t know how I felt about it so until I did I didn’t wanna tell you. Until I worked it out for myself.’

‘You’re pregnant?’ Elvis asked unsure as to what could be so daunting she couldn’t bear telling him.

‘What no!’ she said swatting him on the arm with a roll of her eyes, ‘like I wouldn’t tell you about that!’

‘Oh come on Addie it’s gotta be something big if you didn’t wanna tell me,’ he grumbled making her smile apologetically.

‘Okay, okay,’ she said turning towards him properly, ‘you were right. I wasn’t staying with Jess like I said. I wasn’t even in Stanford this week. I was in Reno…visiting my mother.’

‘Mona?!’ Elvis asked any thoughts he’d been having immediately disintegrating under the shock of her words.

‘Yeah, even after all this time she’s got a knack for getting between us huh?’ she said bitterly. Of all the things she could’ve told him he would never have thought of that and as bile started to churn in his stomach at the idea of the woman he sighed. No wonder she hadn’t told him.

Still, questions swirled around inside him each of them fighting to get out first yet as he watched her drop her gaze guiltily he held them back and tried to remain calm. She was right, even all these years later Mona had managed to cause a rift in their relationship and though he wasn’t exactly happy about the lie she’d spun he could forgive her for it because to not would to be play further into her mother’s hands. And so he decided not to fire on all cylinders, to hold himself back in the hopes she’d explain as he said, ‘what happened?’

‘She wrote me a letter a few months go saying she wanted to see me, that there were things she needed to tell me.’

‘Yeah probably give me some cash,’ Elvis said through gritted teeth, his emotions catching hold almost immediately though he softened as she threw him a look muttering, ‘sorry.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ she said placing her hand over his large one where it rested between them on the seat, ‘believe me I fully intended on ignoring it. There was nothing I wanted from her so I threw it away and tried to forget it.’

‘But?’ Elvis said. Addison sighed.

‘She wrote again,’ she said gnawing on her lip, ‘said it was important and well I got to thinking.’

‘She got in your head,’ Elvis said.

‘No,’ Addison sighed again, ‘maybe…but I just started thinking what if it is something important? I mean what if it’s something that could affect me or Jess like some genetic thing or whatever and then I thought what if it is and I don’t find out.’

‘She got in your head,’ Elvis said knowing how all of this would’ve been swirling around inside, gnawing at her brain the way she gnawed on her lip when she was nervous.

‘Yeah,’ Addison admitted meekly.

‘So?’ he asked.

‘So I replied and asked her what she wanted. She wrote back and asked to see me, gave me an address in Reno. I didn’t do it lightly you know. I thought about for a long, long time and I only decided to go because I knew I’d always be wondering and I’d probably drive myself crazy in the process,’ she said.

‘Why didn’t you just tell me?’ Elvis asked. He didn’t like Mona but if he was being honest that wasn’t the part that hurt him. Her keeping it from him was.

‘I thought about it but I knew what you’d say. And I wanted to make this decision for myself,’ she admitted.

‘If you’d have just asked I would’ve respected your wishes,’ he said.

‘And held your tongue?’ she said raising an eyebrow which made him sheepish, ‘I just wanted to have all the information but I should’ve told you. I hated lying to you…but like you thinking I could…y’know sometimes I still think like that stupid kid all on her own.’

‘Well you’re not,’ he said moving to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

‘I know…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. If it makes you feel better all I wanted was to talk to you about it,’ she admitted.

‘Yeah?’ he asked.

‘Yeah…it was what I was going to tell you when I got home last night before well everything,’ she said fiddling with a button on his shirt. It seemed silly now to not have told him but at the time she couldn’t bring herself to. She knew he’d try his best, to let her go through with seeing Mona if it was what she truly wanted, but he’d always be watching – threatening to cloud her judgement. Except once she had landed in Reno all she had wanted was to talk to him, to tell him everything that was happening. It had been why she hadn’t bothered Jess by telling her they were fighting. She knew it was in built in her oldest daughter to worry about them because she had spent so much of her childhood watching Addison pretending she was okay. Jess had seen how she’d held herself together thinking she was all on her own but now she had him, she always would. Her mother had just stirred up all that hurt, like she always did, and somehow she’d lost sight of that causing this whole ugly ordeal.

‘Well you can tell me now,’ he said.

‘I know,’ she said.

‘What happened?’

‘I showed up at the address she gave me, to this dingy little house on the outskirts of the city. It was awful, practically fallin down around her and she was just sitting there looking worse than ever,’ she said growing quiet for a moment before whispered, ‘she’s dying El. Six months.

‘Yeah right,’ Elvis scoffed gritting his teeth and trying to make himself look more understanding as she pulled away from him.

‘I know, I know!’ she said exasperatedly, ‘I didn’t want to believe her either but…El she looked awful. I don’t think she’s telling lies this time.’

‘So what?’ Elvis said.

‘I listened to her sob story. I let her tell me how she regretted everything, how she was only now seeing how badly she’d messed everything up and how she was sorry,’ Addison said. She wasn’t looking at him now, her gaze out the window as she stared at the bright blue of the horizon a wistful look on her face as she murmured, ‘but you wanna know something?’

‘What?’ Elvis asked.

‘In all that talk. In all the apologies and promises and begging for my forgiveness…she didn’t ask me one thing about Jess. Not one. I mean I can understand us, our whole ordeal has been plastered in enough papers by now but I had a baby less than a year after she left and she never even thought to ask about her. Not how she was. Not how I coped. Not if she could meet her…her own granddaughter,’ she said finally looking back at him except now the sadness on her face was hardened like it had been the night he’d told her she’d left town all those years ago. Every time Mona had blitzed into her life she’d always had hope, something that he’d thought had been truly stomped out at seventeen, but now at forty he could see it was. That even though she’d given her mother the benefit of the doubt by speaking to her it hadn’t been because she’d hoped for more.

‘I mean I didn’t expect her to have changed no matter what she told me but even on her death bed begging for help she couldn’t even put in enough effort to pretend. Not even for five minutes. She could spin a yarn, give me her sob story but she couldn’t even ask one question about her own granddaughter,’ she said bitterly.

‘Yeah will it Jess was probably of no use to her,’ Elvis said honestly.

‘I know,’ she said.

‘So what did you do?’ Elvis asked.

‘I heard her out. I listened to her pretend she was all torn up about being a terrible human being waiting for the other shoe to drop and what do you know it did,’ Addison said, explaining as Elvis’ brows knitted together, ‘she’s not got any money for her doctors bills or rent.’

‘That’s why you were cashing cheques,’ Elvis said connecting the dots quicker than expected and sighing as she dropped her gaze to her lap, ‘Addie.’

‘I know I shouldn’t have after all she’s done to me. I know I should’ve left; I shouldn’t have even gone. I know she’s a terrible person but I’m not. El I know you might not get it but I’d rather be thought of as a fool who gave her money out of the goodness of my heart than the bitch who refused to help someone who needed it.’

‘Oh honey,’ Elvis sighed.

‘You understand right? Please tell me you understand,’ she said.

‘Of course I understand. C’mere,’ he said pulling her into him and allowing her to be engulfed by his presence. He held her to him stroking her hair as she nestled against him.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,’ she sniffed, ‘I don’t know why I couldn’t bring myself to.’

‘Your mothers tricky business. She gets in your head, she always has, it’s not your fault,’ he said, his voice soothingly rumbling against her ear. She settled then, the pair of them falling quiet for a moment though Elvis couldn’t stop his brain from spinning yet this time there was only one question on his mind, ‘are you gonna see her again?

‘I don’t really see the point,’ she said turning so that she wasn’t completely tucked into him though she didn’t pull away, ‘I paid six months rent on a room in a care facility for her. I gave her a cheque to cover any extras she might need and told her not to blow through it because that was it. I have no illusions of her wanting to see me again not now she’s got everything she needs.’

It had always been odd to him how a woman could want nothing to do with her only child. How Addison could be centre of his entire universe and yet the woman who should’ve thought the same could only ever begin to bother with her when she needed something. He couldn’t ever contemplate doing that to either of his girls and he couldn’t picture his parents or Joe doing that either. That was why he hated her so much because of all of them she’d gotten the most time and yet she’d squandered it away. She watched him mulling it all over, concern falling on his face as an idea struck him, his bright blue eyes looking down at her as he asked, ‘do you want to?’

‘Honestly?’ she asked, Elvis nodded, ‘no. I think I needed to do this for me for closure I guess that’s why…’

‘Why what honey?’

‘On my way out of Reno I stopped by a funeral directors. I paid for a package and called the warden asking him to let me know when...when it’s over.’

‘Well that’s an honourable thing to do,’ he said moving her hair off her face as she leaned into his touch.

‘I think it was more for me. So I know that’s it,’ she said, ‘I don’t know if I would wanna go yet.’

‘Well if you do we can. Both of us. Whatever you need baby,’ he said leaning in to kiss her. She was still for a minute before she leaned into it, their lips melding together as he pulled her to him as if they were teenagers desperate for a moment alone rather than married fortysomethings.

When they pulled apart she was breathless, a thankful smile on her face, and though he knew he should probably be serious he couldn’t help himself, electing as he always did to put a smile on her face which came immediately as he smirked and said, ‘so Scott huh?’

‘They’re just friends,’ Addison giggled pulling back and sitting beside him, her head on his shoulder.

‘Is that right?’ Elvis asked.

‘Mmmhmm,’ Addison smiled.

‘Well I’m glad,’ Elvis murmured, ‘he seems nice.’

‘Elvis Presley!’ she gasped pulling back with a beaming smile, ‘are you actually conceding your little girl should actually be allowed in the big wide world of dating?’

‘She’s a college graduate now,’ he said seriously, ‘time to let her live a little.’

‘You’re still gonna put him through the wringer huh?’

‘Oh for sure,’ he smiled.

ELVIS TAGS

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996 @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters @velvetelvis @jaqueline19997 @elvispresleyxoxo @amydarcimarie @presleyenterprise @everythingelvispresley @elvispresleywife @lillypink @richardslady121 @lettersfromvenus @louisejoy86 @ccab

#my writing #elvis #elvis presley #elvis and addison #elvis presley x ofc #elvis x ofc #elvis presley fic #elvis fic #closure #Addison goodwin

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jordie-gvf · 1 year

Text

together forever, danny wagner

summary : the three musketeers was what you were called. the three of you were inseparable. until you moved away for college and never saw them again.

pairing : danny wagner x fem!reader

word count : 3.8k+

warnings : fluff, sexual situations, language, angst, arguing, there is a TAD of smut but its barely anything, female anatomy, being an underpaid teacher, danny kind of being a meanie, danny gets cheated on (not by reader)

italics are from the past

y/n/n - your nickname

y/l/n - your last name

enjoy 💟

CIRCA DECEMBER 2015, JUNIOR YEAR

It had always been a trio. You, Danny, and Sammy. You had moved to Frankenmuth your sophomore year of high school, right next to the Kiszka house. You and Sammy were close in age so you two started hanging out a lot more. He introduced you to Danny, he didn't like you at first. He thought you were taking Sam away from him.

Danny warmed up to you after him and Megan broke up. You two went to some high school party and he walked in on her with another guy. You found him on the front porch, crying. You had your keys in your ready to leave.

You sat down with him and asked him what was wrong. “Like you care,” was his first answer. “Just because you're an asshole to me, doesn't mean I don't care about you.” you told him. He looked at you and said, “I walked in on her with a dude.”

You apologized and stood up, you put your hand out and said, “Ice cream?” He grabbed your hand and stood up. You led him to your car and unlocked the doors.

You drove to Jaami's and you two walked in together. You got your ice cream and sat there, introducing yourselves to each other, finally getting to know one another. You finished your ice cream and drove him home.

He led you to his house and said, “Hey, Y/N, thanks for tonight, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for my ice cream.” and pulled out his wallet. He went to hand you a five but you refused and said, “My treat, Danny.” He smiled and put his wallet away. He had given you his phone number and said, “Tell me when you get home.” and shut your car door.

You told him when you were home and he asked if you could start driving him to school in the morning. You had already driven Sam to school, so you told him you could drive him to and from school for the remainder of high school.

AUGUST 2016, SENIOR YEAR

You, Sam, and Danny had been inseparable ever since you and Danny had gone out for ice cream. Sam and Danny had started playing at bars and every single show there was, you went to. The three of you were the best of friends and no one could ever take that away from you.

FEBRUARY 2017, SENIOR YEAR

You had gotten an acceptance letter from Pomona College for Women and Gender Studies. You still hadn't told Sam and Danny that you were leaving Michigan.

February 22nd was when Sam and Danny told you that after they graduated, they were going to Nashville. You were beyond happy for them and how excited you were for them.

On the same day, you sat them down in your room and told them, “I got accepted into Pomona College for Women and Gender Studies.” Danny hugged you and said he was happy for you. Sam on the other hand said, “What the hell? You told us you were staying here. You'll be in California, 1,000 miles away from us. I can't believe you.” and walked out of your house. You looked at Danny and he hugged you. “Don't cry hun, he’ll be back. I promise you he'll be back.” He said as you cried. You and Sam hadn't talked since.

JUNE 2017, GRADUATION DAY

“You may now turn your tassels, Frankenmuth Graduating Class of 2017!” announced Superintendent Hegenaur. You turned your tassels to the other side of your cap. You made your way outside and saw Danny with his family. You walked over to him and hugged him from behind, taking him by surprise. Josie and Lori congratulated you and Danny. You felt a tap on your shoulder and turned to see Josh.

“Hey Josh! How are you?” you asked him.

He said, “Hey Y/N, I'm good. Sam wants to see you but was too nervous to come over and talk to you.”

He led you over to where they were and saw your family talking to the Kiszka's. “Hi Sammy,” you said to him as you approached him. He said, “Hi, Y/N/N. Can we talk?”

You nodded and grabbed his hand. You two sat down on a bench outside the school and he started to say, “Y/N/N, I'm so sorry for the way I reacted. I love you and I just wanted you to stay here. Whenever Danny and I can, we'll come visit you at Pomona, as long as you visit us whenever you come home.”

Danny had come over and sat next to you. The three of you sat together on the bench, embracing each other and just loving each other.

CIRCA AUGUST 2017, MOVE IN DAY

You and your dad were about to leave to go to California. Sam and Danny had helped you pack up all your stuff. Josh, Jake, and Ronnie were all helping you pack everything into the car. You, Sam, and Danny walked down the stairs together, not wanting to leave each other.

The three of you had never split up for this long, you were always together, never apart. You hugged everyone, Josh, Jake, Ronnie, Karen, Kelly, Mom, Dad, Sister, and your dog. You hugged Sam and Danny last, savoring the moment.

That was the last day you were ever going to see them again.

PRESENT DAY, 2023

You had a job opportunity teaching at Tennessee State University in Nashville, Tennessee. You had been teaching Women's Studies for a few years now, you loved your job.

Usually, you find yourself at home, eating dinner with Odie, the greyhound. Tonight, you found yourself at a bar.

You had a tough student who thought he was hot shit today. You needed a drink. You ordered food and a drink and ate alone. You heard a voice say, “Y/N/N?”

There was only one person who ever called you that, Sammy. You put your burger down and wiped your lips. You looked up and saw him, “Sammy?”

You got up and hugged him tightly, surprised you would ever see him again. “You never came back, you hoe.” he said, joking around with you. You apologized and told him, “My parents moved, I never had the time. I'm sorry.”

He let go of the embrace and said, “Can I sit? My girlfriend is getting us drinks, I'd love for you to meet her.” You nodded, welcoming him into your booth. His girlfriend came over and said, “Hi, you must be Y/N! I'm Lily!” You already loved her, she matched Sam's energy.

“Hi Lily! Yes, I am Y/N! Sam and I were best friends in high school.” you introduced yourself and turned to Sammy. “Speaking of, how's Danny?” you asked him.

He sighed and said, “He never had the guts to call you and tell you how you really feel. He was so pissed off at you because you never came home. I'm pretty sure he's still upset about it. He lives on the eastside, you should go see him.”

You answered him, “if he's mad at me, i'm not gonna want to see him.” He sighed and got off the topic of Danny. “So, why are you in Nashville?” he asked you. “I teach at Tenn State, I've been here for a few years now.” you told him. He looked at you and said, “No fucking way! I live like 10 minutes away from there, I've never seen you! Goddamnit I wish I knew. What do you teach?”

“Women and Gender Studies, I love it so much.” you told him. Lily spoke up and said, “Wait, are you Ms. Y/L/N? I think my sister might have you! Her name is Nola, Nola Yearwood!”

“Little Nola? Nola is your sister? I absolutely adore her!” you told her. The bar door opened and Sam turned around, waving over whoever it was. You couldn't see who it was until they came over. Josh and Jake turned the corner and gasped, not expecting to see you. Danny came up behind them, also surprised. You smiled at Danny and said, “Hi, D.” He turned around and left the bar.

You said hi to Jake and Josh and followed Danny outside. “Danny! Danny please,” you pleaded, just wanting to explain everything to him. “Jesus Christ! What?! What could you possibly want?” he questioned.

“Danny, my parents moved closer to me and my sister moved to New York. I had no purpose in Frankenmuth anymore.” you told him.

“No purpose? Did you forget about Sam and I? Do you know how sad Josie was to lose one of her best friends? How sad Sam and I were when we realized you weren't coming back?” he stated, making you feel like shit.

“I'm sorry. I had no reason to come back. I had a life in California. I have a life here now, I live here.” you told him.

“Sorry isn't good enough. You could've come back for a few days, but no. You chose to stop talking to us. I waited 7 fucking years to see you again. I would tell myself you were busy, making your dream come true.” he said to you.

“I didn't choose anything. You could've picked up the phone too.” you said to him.

“Sorry, unlike you, I have a real job. Welcome back, Y/N.” he said and walked into the bar. You sat outside and cried. You heard the door open and out came Sam, with your purse and your jacket in his hand. “Hey Y/N.” he said.

You smiled up at him, tears falling down your face. He sat next to you and handed you your stuff. You pulled your wallet out and handed him a twenty, “Close my tab for me?” you asked him. He pushed your hand down and said, “Lily got it for you. She knows how close we were.”

You asked him for her number, wanting to thank her for what she did. He hugged you and said, “You know Y/N, he loves you. He's mad because he loved you for 7 years and he bottled it up and never said anything. He loved you ever since you bought him ice cream.”

He asked you for your address, asking if he could come over later. You gave it to him and stood up. “I have to teach tomorrow. I need to go. I'll see you later.” You told him. He got up and hugged you, “I'm glad to have you back, Y/N/N.”

When you got home, you showered and cuddled up on the couch with Odie. You watched Ragnarok and had a glass of water while you watched.

You heard a knock on your front door. You checked your phone, 10:45PM. You got up and opened the door to see Sam and Danny. You sighed and said, “Come in,” and led them into your home. “Your house is beautiful, Y/N,” Sam said.

You asked them both if they wanted anything to drink, or if they wanted food. Sam said, “Do you have La Croix?”

“I have Poppi and OLIPOP?” you said. He went for an OLIPOP and sat down at your kitchen table. “Danny? Need anything?” you asked him. He didn't answer, just sat next to Sam, silent. You went over to the couch and shut the TV off. You grabbed your water and sat in front of them both. Sam spoke up and said, “You two need to work whatever out. Daniel, you made her cry. Y/N, you made him mad.”

“I don't have anything to say to her.” Danny said, getting up, ready to pull Sam out the door. “Sit down.” Sam said to him.

“Danny, I established a life in California. I had no reason to go back to Frankenmuth. I finished my studies and an opportunity arose in Nashville. Did you know, I went to Frankenmuth before I came here. I went to see you, both of you. No one was home, at either of your homes. I called both of you, no answer. So, I went to see you and you weren't there.”

“Well obviously we weren’t there. Because we moved. We moved far away from you.” he said.

“Wow, what do you think I am? Stupid? You two told me before I left, to come home on every holiday, that you would be there. Lo and behold, I came home and no one was home. Do not blame me, Daniel.”

“Whatever, Y/N. I'm leaving. I don't care if I have to walk home.” he said, got up and left. Sam got up and apologized. He walked out the door to see Danny sitting on the front step, crying. You opened the front door and heard Danny say, “Goddamnit Sammy, I love her so much, yet I can't find the words to tell her. I missed her so much, I'm just being an asshole to her.”

“Reminds me of sophomore year,” you said from the front door. You startled them both and Sam got up and went to the car, leaving you and Danny alone. You sat next to Danny and he put his head on your shoulder. “God, I am so sorry. I love you, I never stopped loving you.” he said. You wrapped your hand around him to touch his cheek. You rubbed the side of his face, comforting him.

“I love you too, Danny.” you said. “No, you don't. Not the same way I love you.” he told you. You moved his head and grabbed his face with your hands. You nodded and said, “Yes Danny, I do.” and kissed him. He grabbed your waist and kissed you back. You pulled away and wiped his face off.

Danny got up and went over to Sam's car. You heard him say, “I think I'm gonna stay the night. Can you bring me clothes?”

Danny walked back over and asked if he could spend the night. You nodded and sat up and led him inside the house. You called out for Odie who was asleep on the couch and said to him, “Listen Odie, you have to be nice to Danny, okay?” Danny pet Odie’s head and you set him down on the floor. Danny grabbed your face and kissed you hard, taking you by surprise. He had you against the kitchen counter. He lifted you onto the counter and took your shirt off. “Mm, nice tits.” he said and kissed your neck. You laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. “Where's your room?” he asked you, quickly. You pointed to your room and he picked you up off the counter.

By the time you two made it to your room, you only had your underwear on and Danny had his pants still on. He laid you down on your bed and you removed his belt.

Your alarm went off at 7:00AM, waking you up for work. Danny shuffled next to you and pulled you close to him. He nuzzled into your neck and said, “Call out, I just got you back.” You sadly told him, “I can't test today.” He sighed and said, “At least let me take you out for breakfast,” as he kissed down your neck. You told him that was fine and unwrapped his arms from around you. You went into your closet and picked out your outfit for the day. Tenn State was lenient with dress code, thank god. You wore flare jeans and a sweater with white platform converse.

“Sam dropped off clothes for me, can you get them off the front porch?” Danny asked you from your bed. You nodded and grabbed your phone. You grabbed his clothes and brought them upstairs.

He changed and came out to the kitchen where you were. You handed him your keys and let him drive. “You got your dream car” he said when he saw the car. It was a Mercedes G-Class. You had wanted this car ever since you were in middle school and you finally had it.

You put your purse and your backpack in the backseat and let him drive. You two went to the Pancake Pantry for breakfast.

After you ate, he took you to Dunkin. “Do you still get an iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel?” he asked you. You nodded and smiled, he remembered your order.

He drove you to work and asked what time you got off. “I have a short day today. I get off at 1PM.” you told him. He said, “Good, we can have more sex.” He waited for you to get inside and he drove away.

You got to your class and saw Nola sitting in the front. “Miss Nola, guess who I met the other day?” you asked her. She shrugged and you told her, “Your sister. Sam was my best friend in high school.” Her eyes lit up and said, “Do you know Danny, too? He's so hot, I've had a crush on him ever since Lily introduced me to them. I might ask him out on a date,”

You got jealous and said, “Sorry girl, he's taken.” She visibly got upset and said, “Damn, by who? Is she a slut?” You laughed and said, “I don't know, I've never met her.” You didn't want to tell her about you and Danny, as she was your student, not your friend.

When your shift was over, you got a text from Danny saying he was there. You got in the car and put your stuff in the backseat. “Guess who has a crush on you?” you asked him as soon as you put your seatbelt on. He shrugged and asked who. “Nola. Lily's sister. She told me today.” you told him.

He laughed and said, “Are you serious? Does she really?” You nodded and said, “Yeah, but I told her you were taken. I didn't tell her it was me though.” He said, “You should’ve. Establish dominance, Angel. Are you hungry?”

You nodded and he drove to Mellow Mushroom. You two ate and talked about how your day went. You two made it back to your house and as soon as you shut the front door, Danny had you up against it. “Missed you today, Angel.” he said, eagerly kissing your neck. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he lifted your leg up onto his hip. He grabbed your ass and walked over to the couch with you in his arms. He sat down on the couch and pulled you on top of him. You two sat down and made out for about 20 minutes, there was a knock on the door. You pulled away and said, “Fuck, I forgot I had to tutor Nola today.”

He sighed and went into your room, “I'll be back, gotta fix this. I'll be thinking about your tits.” He motioned down and you saw the bulge in his jeans. You followed him and said, “She’ll leave eventually,” and jumped up onto him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he gripped your ass. “Come on, Angel. She needs your help.” he said and put you down.

You opened the door and saw Nola with her backpack in her hand. “Hey Miss Y/L/N, I was starting to think you forgot about me.” she said.

You let her in and you sat her at your kitchen table. You offered her a drink and she asked for an OLIPOP. You handed it to her and she opened it. You grabbed her test out of your bag and graded it very quickly for her. She only got about 5 wrong, so you went over those with her.

Once she left, Danny came out of your room and said, “Wanna be my teacher too?” You laughed and said, “Nope, sorry.” He sat down in the chair in front of you and said, “Good lord, I love you.” You shoved your books off the table and onto the floor. You climbed over the table and crawled into his lap. You sat in his lap and he palmed your ass. You kissed him passionately and he stood up and laid you down on the table.

You woke up on the couch, naked. You felt Danny next to you and you woke him up, telling him you were showering. He excitedly stood up and followed you into your bathroom. You two showered together and you laid your head down on his chest. He rubbed your back and kissed your forehead. “I missed you so much, Y/N.”

You two got out of the shower and you checked your phone, 5PM. You had a text from Nola, saying thank you for helping her. You went out to your kitchen and checked the fridge. You took out some skirt steak, peppers, onions, rice and some fajita seasonings. “Are steak fajitas good?” He nodded and asked, “Do you have a grill outside, I can cook the steak.” You nodded and handed him the steak with the seasoning. He cooked the steak outside as you cut up the onions and peppers and cooked them in some butter inside. You took out tortillas, limes, pico de gallo, and cooked the rice in the rice cooker.

You two sat down at the table and ate your food. When he finished, he said, “Can you drive me to mine tonight? I want to get some clothes and my car.” You nodded confused, “Are you moving in or something?” you asked and laughed. “Is it alright if I do?” he questioned. You nodded and grabbed his hand, “Of course it's alright. I'd love it if you stayed here,” you told him.

He looked at you and said, "Y/N, I lost you already and I don't want to lose you again. Will you be my girl?”

You nodded and said, “Of course,” and held his hand tighter. He got up and came over to your seat. He kissed you and grabbed your face.

He grabbed the plates and said, “You do enough for me, let me clean.” You stood up, ready to help him. He protested and said, “Go, on the couch. Sit down with the dog. Sit.” You reluctantly sat on the couch with your drink.

He was done doing the dishes and came over to you. “You ready?” he asked you. You nodded and stood up. You grabbed your purse and drove him to his place. He got out and collected his stuff. He opened his garage and you saw his car, a Corvette Z06. He came over to you and said, “Wanna race?” You laughed and said, “Good luck, this is an AMG. See ya at home baby.”

You made it home first and he pulled up to your house. “Good job, Ms AMG.” he said and grabbed his stuff from his car.

He put his stuff in your room and hugged you from behind. “You and me, together forever.”

#danny wagner x reader #danny wagner angst #danny wagner fic #danny gvf #danny wagner fanfiction #greta van fic #greta van fluff #greta van smut #greta van angst #greta van fleet fic #gvf fic #danny wagner smut

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aemonds-wifey · 1 year

Text

An unexpected Summer Meeting

Chapter 11

Summary: Tom meets someone from your past , you make a discovery yourself

(Authors note : Bold Italic = Flashback)

“Bloody HMS Keith honestly…” Tom said as he wondered down the corridor , out onto the deck of the mighty ship he was now on.

“Noble name I think.” The sailor walking with him said

“Pfft you would think that mate.” Tom remarked “what’s wrong with something a bit more imposing …”

“Such as?” The other sailor chuckled

“You know like HMS Dauntless or Zeus?!” He laughed.

“You’re a pistol Bennett.” His friend said as they continued to walk along the ship.

June had arrived, carefree summers were a distant memory now- Tom Was in the middle of history, taking part in the Evacuation of Dunkirk. They had done countless trips back and forth, Tom felt exhausted but had to resume duty and rescue the men stranded on the beach. Whatever the cost.

As they walked along the side of the ship towards the rowboat Tom stopped in his tracks as he heard a rumbling of voices carry down the side , something a sailor said stuck in his ears. He couldn’t be sure but something had his determined to find out what was going on.

His feet found themselves drawn to two sailors stood by the railings looking at the beaches ahead. The voice he was intrigued by was a well spoken one, Tom listened quietly

“I said it would bring her here…once the war is over of course .” The man said.

“And your family?”

“Gretchen …she’s expecting…any day now …. so we can all come along.”

Tom wondered over to him and tapped him on the shoulder “Excuse me mate?”

The man turned around “Yes?”

Tom wore a cheeky but slightly intimidating grin “Your bird …Gretchen ? She a. Nice girl ?”

The man nodded “Yeah she’s lovey …”

Tom noticed the name on his lapel: G. Harper

Tom lazily straightened his jacket “George isn’t it?” Tom asked

“That’s right yeah” he held out his Hand “George Harper.”

Tom looked at his hand and scoffed “Think I’m gonna shake that hand?”

George frowned “I don’t follow…?”

Tom nudged the sailor next to him “What do you say Will? Would you shake the hand of a man who cheats on his girlfriend and gets another one pregnant ?”

George’s face dropped “wha…do I know you?”

“No” he stood closer to him “But Y/N does…”

George looked incredibly panic stricken “You know Y/N?”

Tom nodded “I do…very well. Better than you ever knew her.” Cocking his head slightly.

George’s nostrils flared slightly at the insinuation, he looked Tom up and down “Yes well…glad to see she found someone suited to her standing.”

“Meaning what mate? Think she would agree I’m ten times the man you could ever be.” Tom spat.

George scoffed “Oh yeah a charmer. Bennett isn’t it? Yeah I heard about you from the men…bit of a rascal…it’s a shame Y/N sank so low to settle for you…”

Tom flinched “Lower than a cheating rat like you? All your fancy books couldn’t teach you how to appreciate a good woman when you see one.”

George pushed Tom , he fell back against the metal railing , he quickly rallied himself up and threw a swift right hook , clashing with George’s jaw , he spun down onto the ground hitting his shoulder off the railing

“Tom what the hell?!” A sailor asked holding him back, the other sailor George was talking to helped him up- already a bruise was starting to show under his eye. George attempted to lunge at Tom, who only tried to take another swing at him, but being held back hindered his efforts. Cursing at each other they made some noise, until A senior sailor interjected between them “

Lads. Let’s not forget who the real enemy is..Bennett.. get to the boat. We have brave men to bring home.”

Tom glared at George , the officer looked at him “Bennett…we haven’t got all day…The enemy could be back any moment…go…”

Tom was released , he straightened his jacket and ran his fingers through his hair as he walked off to get onto the boat. George watched him, he sneered and ventured off back to resume his duties.

As he descended onto the boat , his friend Will piped up “What was that about Tom?”

Tom sat Down with a frustrated sigh “Nothin…” he muttered

Will sat opposite him, the boat began to rock against the waves and towards the beach . Tom winced slightly as he examined his hand, his knuckles now red and sore with the punch he just threw at George.

He looked out at the beaches and the water that surrounded them,

“How come our ship is called HMS KeithV Keith isn’t the name you give to a fighting ship.” Tom said

“What? Will asked

“Other ships are called Atlantic, Calcutta and Dreadnought and we get Keith.”

“What’s the problem with that?”

“Keith was always the bane of that kid in school who wore a balaclava till April” Tom said as he fiddled with his shoelaces

“Candle wax snot hanging from his nose.” He grinned

Will just laughed at Toms words

“How many trips back and forth have we done twenty? And not one tip all day.” Tom said loudly as the boat rocked slightly

“Would you like it better if it was called HMS Tom?” Will joked

“If it was HMS Tom it wouldn’t be here mate. Be cruising round the brothels of the Med” Will chuckled as Tom grinned for a while , but as his knuckles ached he thought of home and when he would see you again. He missed you fiercely

And meeting George only enriched his love for you and how he only wanted to come back to you spend every free moment with you.

☁️

The water began to bubble with the heat, as you waited for the water to boil you reflected upon your last meeting with Tom- it had been months yet it felt like an eternity.

Tom hugged you so tight as you went with him to the train station, wanting to soak up every last available moment with him. He felt you shake slightly in his arms

He looked down at you “Hey…it will be alright.”

You looked up at him as his thumb wiped away a line tear “You better come back to me Tom Bennett.”

He smiled bitter sweetly

“Whatever it takes?” He asked

With a nod “whatever it takes.”

You kissed him, not knowing if it would be the last or the one of many you would share, you just never wanted it to end. When his lips broke from yours you almost whimpered at the loss of contact, he placed something small and cool in your hands “Here.”

You looked in your hands, his metallic green lighter with a small piece of string wrapped tightly round with a petite silver anchor pendant hanging from the side

You looked up at him “Tom…your lucky lighter I can’t …”

He chuckled “Need you to look after it love, it’s alright we can use it when I get back.”

Your eyes watered and he cupped your face before kissing your lips , you heard the horrible high pitch whistle ring through the station- he had to go.

“All Aboard! Train is about to leave!” You felt tears fall down your cheek as he broke from you and hopped onto the train- he closed the door and put his head through the gap. You rushed over , grasping his coat collar and pulling him down for one kiss- the force of the train pulling out now broke you apart . All you could do was keep your eyes on him as the train went further into the distance. You pressed his lighter to his lips once the platform was empty.

“Y/N?” You heard Douglas say

You turned around and looked at him as he was sat fiddling with his glasses on the table

“Hmm?” You mused

“You alright? The water has boiled.”

So it had, you shook your head “Sorry I must have been lost in my thoughts …” you said as you brought it over and poured some tea for him and Lois.

Douglas knew exactly where your thoughts were, but before he could ask you anything you noticed Lois was absent

“Lois coming down?” You asked

“She said she was.” He said putting his glasses down

You put the kettle

Down “I’ll go it’s okay.” You smiled as you made your way to the stairs.

“Lois?” You called up the stairs, there was no answer . You steadily walked up the stairs and wondered into her and Toms room. “I made some tea for you and…” She sat on the bed , she was unable to hide her condition- but that’s not what for your attention, she was crying. You rushed over to her “hey Lois…what’s the matter.”

You sat opposite her, taking in one of her hands and holding it gently.

“Oh Y/N…I’m so bloody scared. I’m

Not ready to be a mum!” She said.

You had not seen Lois like this, she always seemed so well put together and brave, but even the bravest have moments of doubt and she needed reassurance.

“Lois it will be alright …you will be a terrific mother.” You said holding her hand reassuringly.

She sniffles and wiped away her tears. “That baby will be so lucky…to have your love and oh is that baby gonna love you too.” You said to her,

“You think ?” She asked

You nodded “The most important thing Lois is that you will not be alone…you have your dad, I’ll be here too and Tom too…”

She wept again if Tom comes back…”

You held your breath but did not say anything , Lois was vulnerable and you did not want to make her feel even more upset.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright Lois…he will come back.”

“He really loves you you know?” She said

You smiled a little “I love him too Lois.”

“No I mean he really does Y/N…he’s never spoke about anybody like this…”

“Oh I’m sure he has before-“ you started

Lois shook her head “No. he’d hate me for telling you this but he said to me the night we all met you that you were the only girl for him. “

You heart twirled at her words, how you felt like you could cry with happiness. She continued to cry as she spoke again “and I really really hope he comes back because I think of you as my sister already.”

“Oh Lois…” you said - you put your arm around her and rubbed her arm reassuringly. Lois did act like a sister to you in the time you have known her, the Bennett family had taken you in and shown such kindness you were foreign to. She finally smiled as you smiled at her to give her comfort, both your smiles faded when you heard footsteps coming your way.

You both saw Douglas appear at the door , he looked pale and was shaking. In his hand you noticed a small piece of paper, both your faces dropped at his expression

“Dad?” Lois asked

“It’s…Tom….”

Your heart sank.

Chapter 12

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#ewan mitchell #tom bennett #tom bennett x reader #tom bennett x you #world on fire #hotd aemond #house of the dragon hbo #osferth #baby monk #the last kingdom #dance of dragons #fic #osferth x reader #oh no he’s hot #fiction #Bennett family #world war two

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freshlyrage · 10 months

Text

Running Like Water

Chapter 8 Javi's Chapter

whats playing: Self Control by Frank Ocean

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 9.2k

Javier had picked up on a few habits. Nail biting came first when he loaded into his truck when he left in 1980. He tried to keep from looking at you after you stained his shirt a deeper shade of blue with your tears. Biting his nails for the first time, right hand, his left hand was patting down the mark on his shirt. Lorraine in the back talking off his head as Don Chucho drove. Chucho always knew, he knew, so he rested his right hand on Javi’s shoulder as he drove into and out of town. Javier's hands flex as he imagines your back under his palm.

And the apartment in Houston never felt like home. Not for a second. Immediately he felt like a lost little kid. He gave himself time to inch back tears alone in the bathroom as his estranged girlfriend frolicked around the home. Lorraine was thrilled, she had genuinely thought that her cheating was behind them. Javier never got over that, never got over his time being wasted and in turn allowing her to waste more of it.

He spent June and July finishing his GED, living off the temporary money his dad had given them. Lorraine was the same, living off her savings and money from her mom until she started school in August, and until he was of age to work at the precinct.

One week in, Javier found a new habit with tobacco wrapped in white. Heading to cop bars with his older colleagues who would sneak the eighteen year old in. Lorraine was stressed with school by week one and Javi took her study time to ring your house yet you were never the person to pick up. ��Oh, no she's out right now.” Javier’s brow would crease, wanting to ask, with who? Where at? He would still tell Frankie to relay messages of hope everything is good although he had other words he wanted to say but that was for your ears only.

Climbing out the hole that is their room, Lorraine, “How is everyone?” Her eyes tired from stress. By mid september Javier had started to sleep in the bed with Lorraine. They had shown good face for their friends before they moved but the second they were confined to this space, all of their grievances were revealed. Just in the first week, you are a lousy boyfriend, you never tell me how you really feel, Javier would dig back but his weren't low, he would just repeat over and over that she should have some sort of decency to break up with him before she jumped onto someone else. Even in september he was angry but an argument ended in them fucking so thats when sleeping in the same bed made its debut. Very healthy.

“I only spoke to Frankie, he’s working. So is Genie, still cleaning up that office space.” He left you out because your name was brought up in those arguments with accusations of leading the poor girl on, Lorraine's words.

Lorraine liked you, a lot, but she was very weary of you. Maybe she didn't have the right since she had cheated on Javier, and truthfully you hadn't crossed any lines when they were together. You had just suffered in silence, if anyone was crossing lines it was Javi but even that… you wouldn't call crossing. The lines were blurring and he nearly tripped over. The line disappeared when she cheated and Javi moaned into your soft mouth.

Lorraine walks behind Javier as he smokes out the window, her hand skating his shoulder in a hold he didn't want. Not when he lit his cigarette to ease his worries of you.

Her cheek resting on your shoulder, “And Andrea?”

Stay cool, any incorrect phrasing and Javier was done for, back on the couch.

He flares his nostrils out of sight of his blonde girl, “Nothing new, just started school. She wasn't home.”

“And you asked for her?” Her voice was slightly unsettled and threatening. Javi sighs knowing where this was going, flicking his cigarette. Lorraine hated the habit, being in school for health care and all, also hated kissing him with the taste. As much as he wanted to be angry with how Lorraine had become with you after they had gone away he sort of understood her. Although he had the looming knowledge of Lorraine kissing someone else while they were deep in- he still had a grasp on what you must come across as. Less of how you came across, more-so how he responded to the call of your name.

Javier shakes his head before looking down out the window making sure the coast was clear before dropping the stick off the ledge. “No, Frankie just told me”. The conversation ended there and Javier served her dinner.

He would call once a week to your house and still you just never seemed to be home. He would get small snippets into your life that fall. He heard you cut your beautiful long hair off. Javier’s eyes wide at the thought of how the short hair would look on you, he knew you could pull any look off. He felt it might've been weird to ask for a picture from your brother but Javier got lucky when he received your school picture in the mail from his dad.

You are missed at home. Here is Andrea’s school picture her mom gave me, and a picture of me and Frankie at Genie’s salon

See you at thanksgiving.

Love,

Your dad

Javier traced a hand over the image of his father and best friend in front of the pink lit sign. His slow breathing at the sight of you for the first time in forever. Biting the inside of his lip when he sees your bright eyed smile and short hair. Fuck, he wishes he was home with you, with his dad and with everyone.

Javi tucked the image in his wallet and headed to work. He thought about you that whole day.

After two weeks of internal struggle and eye contact avoidance with his girlfriend Javier came to a silent conclusion. He was a selfish person, it wasn’t a trait from his father, probably from his mom who selfishly abandoned him at too ripe of an age. An age he denies he remembers but he knows it all.

He knew kissing you, taking you to his home, asking to make him stay, he knew all of it was selfish. His self control just wasn't there. Not when you trusted and adored him so much. He flicks his cigarette outside the precinct next to his favorite co worker, Thomas. Javier decided to call less and although it wasn't you on the end of the line he knew him reaching out so often would just continue to hurt you for his own selfish gain.

You deserved to have a normal high school life, boyfriends and friends, not tied to the phone calls and subliminal flirts hoping you know he still feels deeply for you. He was envious of your ability to be so absent. You must have been finally getting a taste of the simplicity of a life without him. The time just isn't right for the two of you.

Javier makes his last call in December.

That day in December Javier had been drinking, alone as Lorraine stayed out with her classmates. His beer on his right and ashtray on his left. He almost chuckles at how mortified you would be at this image. He looked at himself a few times in the mirror and could see that boyish look leaving him more and more everyday, and it wasn't just his new killer mustache and stress lines growing. It was the way he was carrying himself, eighteen and assumed to be pushing thirty. Just great. A grown little man.

Donny Hathaway playing through his record player, he just keeps aging himself.

He rings the house, sort of figuring it’ll be Melissa or Frankie telling him he just missed you. But it's your squeak that he hears for the first time in seven months, his blood running cold and his hand hurrying to put out his cigarette like you were really there to scold him for it. He decides against it, keeping it burning between his fingers.

“Andrea, haven't heard your voice in awhile.” He breathes out in a pathetic hurried way. His own cheeks burning in embarrassment. You hum over the phone at his words and Javi looks to his lap hiding a smile from no one but himself.

“I’ve been busy, keep missing your call. I don’t want to bother ringing your house either.” Javier laughs at the irony, just last year you had been passing his house to see if he was there and now it was him trying to get a glimpse of your life from miles away. He thinks of how nervous you used to be when he smiled, how you would run a hand through your hair, your hair.

“Busy doing what? I saw the picture your mom sent by the way-Hair looks nice, looks pretty on you” He closes his eyes and breathes through his nose, feeling like anything he says to you crosses a line he doesn't want to cross anymore. It will never be fair for you. Selfish .

There's a small silence before your angelic voice quips again, “Thanks Javier Peña. And busy with school-and you? How's everything?” His name, so smooth from your lips. How did he get this bad for you, how did this happen. Javier feels sick for a second, say it again. He thinks but logic precedes him, be normal. He draws his cigarette again, fearing you’d yell at him over the phone (although he would kind of like that) for picking up on such a habit. He hums remembering the times you would put him in his place, “Hmm.”

“Started officially working, all the other cops speak spanish which is nice. There’s a cop bar just a few blocks from my house, we hang there.”

“and your girl?”

Selfish, nosy, like him. If you were in his shoes, he’d ask the same question. Javier would want to know every detail of your relationship just so he could find something to be upset about.

Javier scans the room devoid of Lorraine, they weren't good. How could they be?

“Hm. We’re good, she’s staying with a friend tonight at her dorm. Just in very different places right now-she’s in that college mood and i’m just work and sleep. She gets real mad at me-“ Javi stops himself then sighs, a shaking breath escaping as he realizes he's crossing another line. “M’sorry, not supposed to talk to you about these things.”

You sigh and he can imagine the crease of concern between your brows, he’d pass a thumb over it and smooth it over if he could. Another thought that shocks him.

“It’s okay, you planning on coming home anytime soon?”

“Uh-not sure. Would love to come down for your birthday but this law and order shit is real rigorous, thinking i’ll just send you some birthday money over there”

A classic bratty scoff sears through the static, “Don’t do that.”

Javi rolls his eyes, missing you so bad. “Told you to take care of yourself before I left-are you, querid-” Javier fills himself up with unnecessary panic as he nearly calls you the name he reserved just for you, the name he called you before- “Um-aren’t you… taking care of yourself? Avoiding Daniel and whatnot.”

“I am. Funny how you left and suddenly I have no more boy troubles.”

Javier is breathless and reminded of your face. Not the smiling one he saw almost every day but the one blotchy with red marks of tears when he so selfishly asked you that question, how your chin quivered at him. The cigarette dying in his hand, vinyl record needing to be turned, “I’m sorry, i’ll keep apologizing-”

“Javier-”

“No, I'll keep apologizing until you believe it, I'm sorry for putting you in that position. It was unfair." Javier's eyes fall to his lap, feeling like it was you sitting across from him with that red and whining face he left you with.

But the door opens and reality sets, and he says his goodbyes to you abruptly.

Cutting off your small bye and he decides it isn't fair. He was done being selfish.

Train. It doesn't matter of his body fucking hurts, train he let everyone go for this, he pushes himself.

He sleeps four hours a night and works the rest of the day, meals meticulously planned to keep him in check. Turns down a beer, only one habit at a time, he’ll smoke in the bar instead.

He calls, only his father, twice a week. He stops asking for you-not because he means to but because worrying about you would kill the routine-it would kill the numbing cycle. He keeps a space in bed for Lorraine and maybe they would fuck if he found the energy. When she wakes for class he’s already gone, at his desk, wondering if this whole DEA shit is worth it-if it’s promised.

If Javier finds time, if his estranged partner finds the will, they will talk about breaking up. Both thinking its the best but Javier’s concern for her well-being-considering that he provides for her-ends up overruling. You're right, but once I get my residency then… well then we can figure it out.

Javier wonders when will they assign him, fuck he had turned 21 three years ago and from the research and tabling he’s done, they all knew that Escobar was reigning hell in Colombia. When Javier asks with a hand on his hip, his superior says they are still weighing the risks, “We send you out there and you get killed, fuck, 23 year old southern boy American boy killed by narcos, the optics of it all”

Javier bites back the urge to tell his gringo boss that the story would be flipped into a discussion of his citizenship before he hit American soil for burial. But he doesn't, he just nods and almost responds before the boss speaks again, “But, we are working on arrangements to send you out there… safely.”

Technically, Javier and Lorraine had been separated for 3 years by 1986. They lived together, and promised not to sleep with others since raw sex was all they enjoyed. Javier still provided, not because Lorraine couldn't but because at that point he was making too much money for his own good. He sent money back home monthly, fighting the urge to maybe send you something, that would be weird, he hadn't even heard your voice since you were sixteen.

Fuck, you were what? 21 turning 22?

Javier knew general things about your life the past few years. He knew your mom got engaged, Melissa head over heels for a white guy named James. Javier knew that Frankie and Genie were engaged as well, living on their own with two successful salons. He heard that you got a boyfriend, that was news for Javier. News from Lorraine this time, over take out on a rare night where Javier laughed in the presence of her. His chest caving in a jealous fit that he thought he had gotten rid of long ago, something in his chest chipping away. Right then he decided that he couldn't go back if it meant seeing you with someone else.

And imagine his surprise when Lorraine says the boy's name was Xavier. So he knew about you and Xavier. He also knew you attended UMiami, smart girl. Knew you were farther from him now, that comforted him a bit. Knowing that you did well for yourself, that you were experiencing something outside the torment that is being home.

He remembered you joking that your mother hadn't ever wanted a daughter, it stayed with Javi, every time he looked at you he thought of you feeling like you weren't a good enough daughter.

Javier knew that you probably hated him. You could ring her but she probably won't pick up. It was Genie who said that to Javi on Christmas over the phone. Javier had your new number the three years you attended school in Miami but was ultimately too distracted and scared to call you.

In January of 1986, a few days before your birthday, Lorraine was given a residency match at a children's hospital 30 minutes north of their apartment. I found an apartment, I was just wondering if you could be a reference.

And that's how they broke up. Not an arm flailing argument like they had twice a month, the relationship died with grace, Javier hadn't seen that coming. Javier told her he was proud and that he would always be around to help her. She was to move out by May.

In February Javier goes home.

Well, he drives home for a day, has dinner with his father and drives back in the morning without running into anyone from his past. Javier’s eyes burned for almost a second when his eyes fell on a picture of you in a cap and gown on the wall next to his own police academy picture from 1981. Your smile is bright like always, with a soft curve of your lips with your long hair tucked behind your ear.

Ears large, you hated your ears, Javier thought they were cute. Was that a nose ring? Melissa must have fainted at the sight. Javier packed and exited at 8 am to head back to Houston. Fuck all of that. The image burned in his head anyway and he shut his radio off when Juan Gabriel blared through the speakers. Fuck— that.

Javier returns home after his day trip to Lorraine half packing the heading out to her friends house. Javier returns to work, training, tiring, stretching, writing, printing and thanking god he doesn't go on patrol anymore. God he never felt like less of a hero when his first work assignment was watching his patrol partner asking homeless folk to move their tents. He thinks of that moment and thanks god he was working on detailing and research for the DEA instead.

In April Javier walks into his office with a loud yell and confetti in his face. He flinches then grins at all of his colleagues dressed in cowboy hats-mocking him as his nickname around the building was Vaquero , the big city Texans found Javier's tight pants and belt buckles amusing. Unsure of the occasion or if he was the right person for this party his deskmate Felipe shakes his shoulders, “You're going to Colombia.”

Javier scoffs in disbelief as he's surrounded by music and hugs and congratulations with a few “you’re making history fucker.” Youngest guy they're sending out to Medellín. Javier learns that day that it was his last week in Houston before he gets a six month break before he starts his first day the embassy in October.

Polaroid pictures and cheek kisses from the desk women who Javier had unintentionally flirted with throughout the years, Javier’s work finally paid off.

His boss, Townes, poured him a drink and handed him a pile of mail. Javier was bad at collecting from his mailbox. Townes laughs at Javier's shocked expression, it sure did pile on. The entire office was in fits of conversations and dances. Javier made note of how close his deskmate Felipe is to the front receptionist Gina. He fucking knew it, her face bright red when Felipe would walk in and place a light tap on her desk. Javier narrowed his eyes at him while he obviously bit back a smile when they walked to their own desks. Felipe had a hand flat on her back.

Townes cleared his throat. “Opened this thinking it was mine, you should really head to that man. Seems like you're missed in Laredo.” He grips Javier's leather shoulder. Javier frowns and stares at the ripped envelope before digging his own fingers to fish out the card. Javier’s eyes bounced between letters, as they circled in his head quickly and with panic. He felt his superior smile from behind him, probably proud with his mini retirement suggestion. Javi traced his finger at the bump out lettering.

You are invited to Genie and Frankie’s Wedding 6-20-1986

Javier gave a thinned lipped smile to his boss, it was time for Javier to come home, he knew it for a while, but he was sure of it now.

Javier dusted his desk off with a shaky finger, his father at the doorway watching his every move. Rubbing his fingers together and flicking the collection away. The slightest frown on his lips, regret piling in his throat. He hadn’t gone home in so long. He could feel his fathers eyes burn on him as he watched the room he grew up in turn into a place of visitation, vacation, no longer his home.

His bed made, the childlike posters staring back at him and the teddy bear Lorraine had given him on valentine's day during their first year. Javier walks over to pick it up and inspect the thing. Feeling it’s fluffiness being a bit matted with age. Javier then looks at the picture of him and Lorraine on his night stand. Seeing his old smile and lighter brown hair. What an idiot he had been to shave his mustache that was itching to come in back then.

He knew he had changed a lot. Taller, slimmer, more lines when he smiled, hair curling at his neck and a mustache that wasn’t needed to prove he was a man but a thick one nonetheless-made him look unrecognizable.

His bear still in hand he hears his dad step slightly closer, “She’ll come around papa.” Javier’s eyes drop at the sentiment. Javier hadn’t really specified why they broke up-Javier never really told Chucho anything about Lorraine unless it was positive. He didn’t want to complain about her, he promised himself he wouldn’t be that sort of boyfriend or ex. Chucho had only ever been with Javier's mother but he respected her enough to relay that piece of advice to never speak down on your partner, even if they were an ex. You dated them for a reason, those reasons don't disappear when you split .

He hums an agreement although he knew there was no coming around, they had been over since 1981.

The dust can be seen in the sunlight from his window. Circling and never falling. He had been home just for one day 4 months prior, and he hadn’t stepped into his room. He hadn’t even left his childhood home, he just stayed in the living room with his dad, silently watching tv as if this was normal, him being around, like that was normal. As if his dad didn’t have to face sending his only child away to a new dangerous career venture. Javier also knew you weren’t home then, not like he’d dare to stop and say hello after writing you off for so many years. His stomach flips at the thought of seeing you now.

The heavy hurt he just knew he instilled in you, would you slap him when you run into each other? No, not Andrea. You would never put your hands on him. Would you be so surprised to see him that you’d forget his absence? Would you smile out of instinct or frown in realization?

He hadn’t seen a picture of you since you were a senior in high school, it’s been three years since then. Did you have an apartment in Florida or do you still dorm-would you even have to stay all summer or could you just stop by your brothers wedding and settle back into your home so far away. You had mirrored him but decided to make it a competition. Your thousand miles and his three hundred.

Somehow he was able to tuck away the thought of you, for those first two years in Houston the thought of you not being okay consumed him. Lorraine had come home with takeout laughing about some chisme she heard from her friend in Laredo about you getting caught piss drunk on top of some guy in a bathroom. That led to an argument, Javier asking Lorraine to quit gossiping, which then developed into a screaming match about you and Javier’s obsession. Javier just asked her to table any conversation involving you, that he rather not know. So he pushed the thought of you and everything that came with the wallet image he tossed away with a heavy heart.

Pinching the bridge of his nose when he would receive unsolicited updates about your life from your brother or Chucho. This would be far easier if people didn't adore you the way they did.

He remembers when Chucho called him that July after helping you pack up your room. If he had stayed, god he couldn’t bear it be you leaving. That was the first time he was glad he had left first. “Javi.” Chuchos voice brought him back to earth, back to Laredo.

Eyebrows shooting up Javier turns to face his dad, “Yeah?”

A look of sympathy crosses over the wrinkles on his face, “Today is Tito’s 13th birthday.” His dad frowns, knowing what he was about to ask. Javier was stuck for a bit, confused at the sudden statement. Then more floored by his little cousin turning 13 when he was only 7 the last time he had been home. “Everyone is expecting you.”

Javier feels a bubble growing in his chest at the thought of curious eyes and awkward hugs. “Who is everyone?” A hand falls to his hip, he knows. Everyone is everyone, there’s no damn party in this town without at least a hundred people walking out drunk regardless of the age of the birthday boy.

Chucho chuckles and tips his hat at him before leaving Javier in his old room.

Despite Javier’s protests and complaints of being tired he’s dressed in a flannel and patting his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. Rehearsing in his head how to answer stupid and overbearing questions. Closing his eyes at the thought of getting a lot of Lorraine heavy questions. Thank god for the cigarettes in his pocket.

Javi was a passenger for the first time in a long time as his father drove them down to the venue and it’s like the second coming of Jesus when a 23 year old Javier walks through the doors.

Chatters in Spanish about how he’s grown, cheek pinches, kisses a bit too close to his mouth from girls from school that he doesn’t remember. Alejandra, according to her, Javier’s first girlfriend. “Tengo que decirle a la gente que mi primer novio fue un agente de la DEA.” She grins and kisses his cheek again, Javier’s nose scrunching.

After the small encounter Javier he sees the same little face on an elongated body. Little Tito, tall giving a sheepish teenage hug as another girl his age hangs behind him. Javier has a knowing smile remembering having a girl - friend at 13. “You’ve gotten so tall, who’s this?” Javier tuts his chin at the young girl whose face lights up in a blush, her eyes shifting everywhere but on Javier. Tito laughs in the only way a crushing pre-teen could.

A brace-face smile, “Oh, my friend Adriana.” The girl smiles at the introduction, hands behind her back shyly. Javier raises his brows at his little cousin, and gives an approving frown. Familiar name. A mirror of his own childhood with you. Javier leans down to whisper in the birthday boy's ear.

“Be nice to her, keep up the Peña reputation.” He advises, a firm squeeze on his bony shoulder before waving the two of them away to go back with the kids of their age. Standing straight Javier rubs his jaw and straightens up his going out top. Scanning the room for his dad who had parted the second he was swarmed. The same local mariachi band performing at the blue and red themed birthday party.

Instead his eyes fall on a woman with blonde hair tied in a neat bun, thick brown brows and an aging smile that shrinks at the sight of him. Mrs. Smithfield in all her southern-belle glory staring at Javier with conviction. Javier blinks a few times before attempting to wave before she turns her back to him and walking away. A nervous shaking breath is exhaled from Javier’s lips, he regrets coming home.

In the midst of Javier’s growing panic a slender hand grabs his shoulder and his knees weaken before he turns at the possibility of it being you. Instead, it’s your mother, your face on hers with more age and a stoic smile-you must’ve gotten your gleam from your father-he’d never know. Javier’s heart races at the sight, just your mom, after years. A few wrinkles included but still beautiful-still graceful and articulate. Hair moussed in curly scrunches, the smell filling the entire space, a long floral dress and a rosary flat against her chest. She grabs at Javier’s face and he looks away in embarrassment. “Javi! My goodness, didn’t know you could grow facial hair.” Her hand cupping his chin and manhandling his face like he was still fourteen. Her thumb brushing on the outer corners of his mustache. Javier chuckles and just allows her to examine him-“was so worried the academy would turn you useless and old, not even being a cop could break those Peña genes. Que chulo.” She jokes before slapping his shoulder, she loved thy neighbor, you know, unless they were cops. Javier nods a yeah, yeah.

His chest rising and falling as the possibility of you being here increases by a million. His eyes dart around the woman in front of him but fall back on Mrs.Diaz just as quick. “How's everything?”

“Oh please, Javier, how are you? The DEA? That I could at least respect you know, is the salary good-it better-sending you to a war zone, I pray for you papa.” She looks over his shoulder for a second, then tightens her grip on his bicep. “My god-Frankie is going to freak out when he realizes you're stronger than him, he’s here!” Javier lets out a chuckle fueled by nerves at the thought of seeing your brother. Your mom had a new glow, one quite foreign to Javier. He remembers Melissa as just a nice lady, nothing more, nothing this enthusiastic.

“Well, he’ll be even more angry when he sees that my mustache is better than his Ms. Diaz.” Javier jokes with a light squeeze to her arm. Her brows furrow and then settle in realization.

“Mrs.Warden now Peña” She corrects. Javier is struck with even more confusion, forgetting she was engaged. “I married Mr. Warden, you know the middle school teacher?” She gleams as Javier’s face spreads in a smile, ah, right, Ms. Diaz got laid. Javier hugs his best friend's mom while uttering congrats and prying information out of her to take some of the heat off of him. She quips, smiling with every detail before waving him off to the table where he spots a grown man who is apparently Frankie.

Frankie unknowingly dug into his food while Javier stalked the table to wrap his arm around his best friends neck. Frankies arms flail to grip Javier’s hold as Genie squeaks at the sight of Javi. “What the fuck-” Frankie groans through coughs as he slaps Javier’s hold. Javier loosens and kisses the cheek of Frankie who is still disoriented as his Fiancee giggles at his side. “Didn’t tell me your mom was taken, I was finally going to make my move.”

Frankies eyes finally widen and he turns to fully see Javier’s face before letting out a little girl shriek before wrapping his arms around him, a hold Javier didn't know he missed this much. “You sick fuck, what the fuck?” Frankie laughs, gripping the shoulders of Javi to examine all the changes that six years create before giving a disapproving frown. Javier’s eyes almost look shut as the wide grin on his face ceases to shrink, “Your mustache isn't as good as mine though.” He comments, Javier’s smile dropping jokingly before pulling him in again.

Genie sneaks in and Javier lifts her with his hold, kisses littering her cheek, he didn't expect himself to feel this affectionate but here he was. God, they were getting married. 8 years together, Javier wanted to ask how? How do you make that work, how did they do it so effortlessly. Maybe he should have asked for more advice, they had been doing something right, maybe Lorraine wouldn't be away although maybe the advice would lead him to stay with her.

By the grace of god, Genie and Frankie seemed to be too distracted by Javier’s new career venture to even utter her name. They knew, Javier also knew that they knew. He wouldn't come home for vacation without her you know unless… unless they were split up. Like always, Genie didn't hold back on the pig jokes. Discovering Frankie proposed on the beach when they went to Puerto Rico last May and how it's going to be a large backyard wedding-completely planned by Melissa and You. Javier couldn't help but let his brows shoot at the mention of your name, your name uttered out loud and not through static on a phone. Genie knowingly bites back a smile at his obvious attempt to micro manage his facial expressions as Frankie goes into detail about your skills in flower arrangements. How you cussed so loud when a rose thorn dug in your finger that your mama let the kitchen to hit you with a pillow as you dramatically cried at the cut, she just always been a crybaby, Frankie shook his head.

Javier wondered if your thumb felt better.

With Genie observing Javi she answers the question that has made its course around his head since they arrived, “Andrea is somewhere around her, surprised you didn't bump into her already. She’s hard to miss.” She chuckles before peering around the table to spot her. Javier holds himself together at the news. You were in this room, he knew he’d see you here so why was it that he feel the tension between his shoulder blades burn hot and glowy. Micro manage. Javier just nods. In his most lax way he asks what she meant by hard to miss.

Frankie chuckles loudly at the thought of you scurrying around the party. You really had developed that maternal look as you followed the small steps of the new walker, trying to figure out how a one year old could be so fast, your hands out as you chased the stinker. “She’s got the baby with her.”

And to hell with micro-managing because Javier gives himself the sickest case of whiplash at the statement.

No way. Dad would have told him. This is some sick prank.

Javier's eyes snap to the stroller next to the empty seat just left of Genie and Javier feels his entire soul sink. No. “What, what do you mean?” Javier leans into the table, already visibly stressed at the thought, his mounted arm moving to stroke the hair below his nose. Frankie and Genie both glanced at each other and then back at Javier before bursting in fits of laughter. Javier blinked quickly, his leather clad shoulders dropping with air filling his lungs. Those fuckers. Genie found it hilarious, her head falling back holding her stomach and heaving while Frankies laugh deepened at the sight of his fiancee in a fit of laughs. How cute was the sight, Javier was sick. Javier kept his unamused trained eye on the couple as heels approached the table.

“Marisol fell asleep, could you watch her?”

Your voice burns in Javier's brain and he lifts his bowed head up at your approaching body, and your eyes widen in sync with his. He stares up at you as you crowd the table in a white turtleneck and long skirt as a baby girl has her face smushed in silent snores against your chest, you hair brown but honeyed. The maternal sight makes Javier dizzy. His chest falls for a moment, and you don't smile at him, you're just as shocked. Frankie chuckles and removes the chubby baby from you. You looked like you but far more grown, filling out your shirt, your eyebrows thinner and your hair in that layered look you used to have to make you look older. A proper beautiful woman, Javier wants to jump to his feet and hug you like he did your brother but his mouth is dry as is yours. “Javier, Hi.” You whisper while making Javier's chest ache at your softness, your voice and the fact that you hadn't used his nickname. You sit, patting your black skirt down as you give confused looks to your brother and in law, why didn't you warn me face. Javier licks his lips and stupidly all he can think to do is hold out his hand for you to grab and shake.

Your lips quirk at the gesture and you touch him anyway, your hand dwarfed by his. Get it together Javier. “Hi Andrea, your brother was just trying to kill me, saying that baby was yours almost-”

“She is mine.” You stare at him blankly and Javier’s eyes grow in size, and his cheeks heating before a real smile grazes your face. Javier feels privileged to see you smile again, smile at him, to see how despite having a wide smile, your lips never fade when you gleam. A nose stud. “Mi hermanita.” You confirm, trying to keep your own cool. You could feel Javier's body heat, the smell of him, his knee so close to your own.

You wanted to push him, kiss him, hug him, cry and tell him how much you missed him or tell him what you’ve been through. But all you could do is offer him small talk while he stares at you with his puppy dog eyes wondering where’d all the time go?

You're given a minute to breathe as Frankie pulls Javier's stare away from you as he explains the timeline of your mother meeting James, getting eloped and having a baby. Javier is shaking his head in shock the entire time, you watch the back of his head. His hair long again, folding at the neck with sideburns chopped and perfect. And a mustache, you didn't expect that. You didn't expect… well… you were immediately smitten with what he had grown to look like. So manly and broad, and hairy and large. You almost forgot how deeply hurt you were by him. Not one call. Looking down at your white top as a small stain from the drool of your baby sister's mouth darkened. Wiping your hand across your breast.

Javier’s eyes snap discreetly at your breasts and its movement when you wipe.

Get it together Javier.

You didn't notice but ultimately gave up on the damn thing just to find Javier staring at you as Genie and Frankie crowd the stroller watching the infant stir in her sleep. You raise and eyebrow at the boy you still want, “What?” You narrow your eyes at him, and his lips stutter into a warm frown half hidden by the hair. You wanted to grab his face, feel his skin on your palm and hold.

“I feel like I deserve to be slapped by you.” He states plainly.

Your face is stone cold, as you contemplate the offer but despite all the animosity you felt, you'd never put your hands on him, only if he asked and allowed you to kiss it better. You shake your head, Javier is really here. Your eyes leave his and scan the busy party. Seeing your mom serve a young child food. Eyes falling back to Frankie and Genie giggling off about something, not paying any mind to Javier’s burning gaze. “I feel like we should go talk outside” you spit, still being able to hold out any self control as he nods.

Shoulder to shoulder with Javier again in the middle of a rare may breeze, looking up at the rare clear sky, it rained all week. Suddenly sunny and silent. The whole party stared at the two of you as you walked out of the building. Your mother nodding to you, James giggling to himself like the hard-ass he is. Feeling his shoulders rise and fall as you stood in silence.

"I'm sorry-"

“Shut up Javi, please.” Your hand comes up to your hair, running it through. Side by side you can't see his face but you do feel his body sink for a moment. It was the please that did it for him, he knew you, even after all these years. He knew a please out of you, a plea to him wasn't in your ranks. Javier did shut up though he wanted to hold your face and say i’m sorry, I’m sorry, so sorry. But you can't have any of that, you have control this time. You have control of your circumstances and you could push him, you could tell him he was a heartbreak you've been incapable of recovering from and you sure as hell could tell him that you hate him. You could also kiss him and leave him confused and aching to touch you and then you could leave. Go back to Miami, cut contact and live a life privately. Make him feel how you felt, how you’ve felt for six fucking years.

No.

You look to him and his eyes are peeled to the lot of cars in front of you, he feels you stare, burn, you burn him with the gaze. You thin your lips and hug your arms under your breasts, hugging your body. “ When do you leave?” You state more than ask.

His lips part and his head turns to you, looking into your eyes. That, he loved that. He loved how dark your eyes were, so dark that any light in your way makes them doe and animated, he hated to notice, but he fucking aches over the way your brows fold and bend with a line of stress when you look to him. “November.” He answered you, his eyes flitting to your lips, Javier couldn't help it, he found you so sexy back then when you forced answers out of him. God forbid you do it now, after so many years, after you've grown into that. Full, womanly, softer, prettier and meaner. Well, he had no right to assume you had gotten meaner but sixteen year old Andrea would have jumped into Javier's lap even if he had left you in that way. You had grown, meaner, if it was true he’d want it all. You quirk an approving frown before peeling away. Look back at me.

“Do you really want to leave this time, and don’t bullshit me I don’t deserve any of that.”

Tan Brava.

Javier smiles to himself but bites it away feeling that if you had caught him you’d click away in those little heels. He circles the question in his head and shrugs, “It’s work and the pay is handsome, close to a hundred.” He doesn't know why he admits that so quickly to you but you gasp, clutching at your stomach and you laugh. He needs a cig. The mere sight of you smiling so close to him is sending him over the edge.

“Jesus fucking-sorry, just my starting salary is a fraction I-just shocked I’m sorry.” You exhale and Javier cant take it he’s patting at his pocket to fish out his killing carton. Your eyes watching his deft hands, veiny, you trap that image in that corner of your sick head. The stick falling between his large hands and up to his lips, your eyes follow it all. Your nose scrunching in disgust when he flattens his lips and covers his light. He side-eyes you in confusion.

“What?” He mutters, stunted by the cigarette at the corner of his mouth. Your face continues to twist in disgust.

Shaking your head and crossing your arms, “You’re nasty Javier.” Continuing to shake your head as the sweet teen boy you had in your head dies when you watch the grown man in front of you, do something so adult , feed into an addiction. How cliche.

He laughs, “Never seen someone smoke a cigarette before?”

You deadpan as you fight the urge to reach to pull the stick from his lips and stomp it. “Put it out.”

“Why?”

You narrow your eyes, “Put. It. Out.”

Smoke leaves the corner of his mouth, “Why, tell me.”

“You should be taking care of yourself, it's bad for you.”

You admit a bit too much and he's grinning like a fool and removing the cigarette from his upturned lips. He flicks the bud onto the floor and stomps it. Now it's you biting a smile at him listening to your request. You whisper, “Thank you.”

That has Javier looking at you with a dimple deep eyes shut grin, “Anything, Andrea, for you.” He mocks and you narrow your eyes. You want to pounce him in every sense of the word. You want to get on him and yell at him for making this so hard, you want to grab the back of his stupid head lick into his mouth until he’s begging you to give him anything, you knew he’d beg you. You also wanted to li ke actually pounce him , with the intention to wound. But the second form spoke the loudest when he licks his lips at your annoyance.

“Light another.”

“What?”

“Light another so I can use you as an ashtray.”

You're joking but Javier feels his pants tighten at your demand, for a moment he was willing to let you burn him, he’d been a dick and deserved it. With his hands at his side as he looks at you he thinks about how easy it would be to just kiss you. With a sly scoff and a head shake Javier plays it off, “Jesus, you seem stressed, would you like one?” He edges, reaching for his pockets and you swat him on his arm. You had to hold out.

“Oh, so you smoke because you're stressed?”

“Yes.”

“About what?” The air shifts with your light hearted question, you hear the music from inside change to something loud and eclectic, you could hear people scurrying to dance. You usually would wish you were inside but now you were extremely interested in what your ex-best friend is so stressed about that he decides to fill his pores with the smell of smoke. He quirks a brow at you, like you just asked if birds fly, checking if you were serious about the question before whisper a fuck it.

“Well, first of all, I haven't seen anyone in years and when I showed up in here they were treating me like a fucking Kennedy, asking me all these overwhelming questions about Escobar. I haven't even been to Colombia yet-then…” He looks down to the pavement and you begin to feel like shit for even asking, the way he takes a moment to breath worries you and your body twitches to hold him but decides against it. He breaths. “I see Lorraine's mom and I’m sure you know-just never worked, Houston made it worse. Whatever, her mom looks at me and turns her back, then your mom.” He laughs, still looking away. Your brows tense as you watch him in a state you've never really seen, so much insecurity and shame. Houston wasn't going to be good for him, I knew it wasn't. It circled your head for years but for selfish reasons, he won't be good because I wont be good without him, but instead he just didn't do good for himself. Your hand grazes his wrist for a moment and he doesn't move from your caress but it's fleeting so he continues with a frown and no eye contact.

“When I saw you with the baby I nearly had a heart attack by the way, and then I felt guilty because you surely could have had a kid and I just would have never known, that's been killing me. Then you pull me out here, and I get deja vu, remember the last time we were at a parking lot?” He looks up to you with a stupid smirk and your mouth drops, just when I was feeling bad for him.

You lean your body weight into him and push as he laughs and fuck it, you're smiling too, ear to ear and it feels like 1980. Your heart is pounding against your rib cage at his statement before the kiss comment, he leans back into you. Have a kid, thats funny to you. “What makes you think-jesus.” You giggle and Javi is at ease again.

“Fucked if I know- last I heard you were in a committed relationship so fuck me for thinking that maybe you had a baby.” You cringe, you knew Xavier was more than likely coming to this function, you saw his sister earlier, what a beautiful disaster it would be to have Javi and Xavi in the same room again, god forbid Javier finds out the things he would say to you. Your ex would be gone by tomorrow.

“Mmm, past tense yeah. You're not the only one who gets to make bad relationship decisions Agente.” His eyes snap to yours again at your nickname and his lips quirk to a frown after taking in your bad relationship comment. It was easier said but he wished that for you, a good relationship, it would hurt less to come home and see you happy. But you being available is making it all unbearable and the two of you have only been with each other for fifteen minutes.

You watch Javier's expression soften, how he got prettier is beyond you. His smell had changed, still sweet yet earthy, with a hint of smoke-you would never admit to him that you liked the smell. Not after you threatened him for smoking. Your eyes flick away from him as you watch the car that had just pulled up go into park with a familiar back facing you. Right in Javier's blind spot, Jesus christ. “So what I’m gathering is that you aren’t in a relationship,-”

You interrupt him with a full arm squeeze as the leather crunches under your clawed hands. His temple creasing with his confused look he gives your pleading face. Why did this always happen, horrible timing with you two. Xavier’s walk is dominating as he quickens to approach the two of you, still nothing compared to Javier-he noticed too. God, you want to kill yourself thinking about the amount of times he didn't make you come…and he was a prick and you stayed, for so long.

Javier’s nostrils flare at the realization, remembering that you ended up choosing fucking Xavier, the loser who attempted to slut shame you the first time you all met. Well, Javier left you when you had shit taste but he held hope out for you, hoped that you’d realize how good you were. Xavier is in front of the two of you with a smile and in his camo military get up. “Long time no see Javier.” He holds out his hand for Javi to shake but Javier stares at it for a few seconds. Never liked him.

He shakes it anyway and Xavier exhales with a laugh. Dork. He then looks at you with a smile, his eyes scanning over your body.

You feel your breath die in your throat at the thought of how he spoke of your body just two years ago. You gained weight in high school, god forbid . It was around thirty pounds and it hadn't bothered you, you were still healthy-you body just had began turning more womanly. Throughout the entire relationship he found some way to slyly imply that your natural body was one to be ashamed of. And you lost the weight when you split up, not purposefully but because the dining hall food was putrid. So the gaze of your ex makes your stomach flip and Javier notices your change in body language. He crosses his arms and puffs his chest slightly but he doesn't need to; he already towers Xavier, “Yeah man, what is it that you do now?” he asks tauntingly.

Xavier smiles and points to his military cap, “I’m back on base in Cali in a few months…” His green eyes move to your rigid stance with a small smile that makes Javier’s blood boil. “Guess you've always liked men in uniform DeeDee,” While he gives you whiplash with the horrendous nickname he gave you back in the day, he wags his finger between you and Javier.

Javier’s eyes narrow at the boy and shakes his head, asshole , he mutters and Xavier doesn't catch on as his perverted eyes drag down your frame again, “I’ve got to get inside but I saw you leaving the gym where 7-11 used to be, you look great now, see you inside.” He grips your shoulder and is entering the party before Javier could react with attempting to get at him but he was gone.Your heart is full in worst ways, so full of disdain and hatred, feeling like an insecure seventeen year old again with his cunning ways to be an asshole towards you. Your hands fly to your face to pinch the bridge of your nose, too much all at once .

Javier’s hand is on the curve of your back in a familiar comforting hold, too much. Your eyes sting but they are shut, not today. “God, I fucking hate him so much-sorry” Javier feels your anxiety and anger burn off your skin and it makes him crazy. Just in the small interaction Javier understands what you meant about bad decisions . Javier had learned a lot in training about self control, he learned how to regulate his emotions well. It worked so well with Lorraine, the arguments stopped being explosive. But to hell with training, he didn't care the scandal it would ignite if the man of the night ran into the kids party and beat the military man bloody.

You look down at your own body and step away from Javier's hold, “um… please just tell my family I went home early.” Pull away, distance, more unsaid things, you had more to say you just cant do it not after seeing Xavier. You’d be sick by the time you get home.

Javier’s heart leaped at your distance and lack of eye contact. What happened to his smiling girl, querida. Feeling like a teen who had just been pushed away by a pretty girl, Javi stutters, “Yeah-I-I’ll tell them, just how do I”

You grip your purse and smile fakely, you’ll make sure to cry about him later. “I’ll call you tonight.” The wind pulls up and shifts your long skirt as you give Javier Peña a thin lipped smile. Javier tried not to break out in a face of relief, instead he nods you off and he watches until you safely get in your car and pull out of the lot.

Jesus christ you could drive now.

He felt like such an asshole.

#javier peña #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #javier peña smut #ao3 #fanfic #javier peña narcos #javier pena x reader

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phoebe-delia · 1 month

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Chicago's 6 Merry Murderesses as Taylor Swift's songs

I thought of this earlier today and thought maybe one or two people on here might find it amusing so here you go lol.

For context, you've got to know the lyrics to Cell Block Tango. (If you don't and you want to read on, here are the lyrics.) I will refer to each of the murderesses by both their character name AND the sound they make in the song: Pop (Liz), Six (Annie), Squish (June), Uh-uh (Hunyak), Cicero (Velma), and Lipschitz (Mona)

I am assigning the songs based on the vibe their story gives me. I am also challenging myself by excluding "No Body No Crime," since that would be a bit of a cop-out IMO.

I had fun putting this together! I hope someone else finds it interesting lol.

CW: discussion of murder, guns, blood, violence

POP/Liz: "Bejeweled" from Midnights

Liz says she kills her boyfriend because she came home from work in a bad mood and he was popping his gum too loud, which was a frequent habit of his. She was annoyed and told him to stop, but he didn't, so she shot him. This is, obviously, completely unhinged. It gives me "Bejeweled" vibes because of the lyrics "didn't notice you were walking all over my peace of mind" and "familiarity breeds contempt." Idk I just see a similar feeling of "you've gotten on my last nerve and I'm done with you" from both.

SIX/Annie: "Babe" from Red

Annie says she killed her boyfriend because he told her he was single, they got together and moved in, and then she found out he had multiple wives. So then she poisoned him. This gives me "Babe" vibes because it feels like she fell fast and hard and found out he wasn't the person she thought he was. This one is all about betrayal and feeling blindsided by infidelity and I think the song fits really well.

SQUISH/June: "Getaway Car" from reputation

June says she was making dinner when her husband burst through the door, screaming and accusing her of having an affair with the milkman. She then says he "ran into" her knife 10 times. We don't know for certain if his accusations against her are true; she doesn't let on either way. If he was screaming and raging, she could've thought she was in danger and acted in self-defense. My interpretation, though, is that she was cheating, and then killed him to keep him quiet. For this reason, I chose "Getaway Car," because the milkman was her own "Getaway Car" out of that relationship similar to how Taylor describes in the song.

Uh-Uh/The Hunyak: "Haunted" from Speak Now

Her story is SUPER sad. She's falsely accused of killing her husband, and then no one will listen to her because she can't speak English and properly advocate for herself. To me, this song captures some of the turmoil and grief she's feeling, both for herself and her husband. As the song says, "Come on, come on, don't leave me like this/I thought I had you figured out/Something's gone terribly wrong/You're all I wanted." And like, obviously, her husband didn't leave her here. But I think it portrays a similar feeling of dread and panic.

Cicero/Velma: "Better Than Revenge" from Speak Now

This was the first—and I'm pretty sure only—time Taylor addressed a woman with whom a boyfriend cheated or wronged her. I think it fits Velma's story very well. Velma and her sister did a traveling dance act, and Velma's husband traveled with them. One night, Velma caught them having sex, so she "blacked out" and killed them. Just look at the lyrics to "Better Than Revenge" and see what you think:

"She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause/She took him faster than you could say sabotage/I never saw it coming, nor would I have suspected it/I underestimated just who I was dealing with/She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum/She underestimated just who she was stealing from."

Lipschitz/Mona: "I Knew You Were Trouble" from Red

Mona describes Al Lipschitz as being a sensitive artist. She says she fell deeply in love with him, but that he was trying to "find himself" and ended up cheating on her with multiple women. She's vague about how he died, but she does give us this pretty crazy line:

"I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive... and I saw him dead"

Anyway, to be honest, part of what made me pick this song was picturing the music video: this suave, charming artist flirting with this girl and then leaving her because he's a "loner" and a "drifter." I think the story she tells goes well with the vibe of the song.

If you made it this far—thanks for reading!! 💛

#CW: discussion of murder #discussion of guns #mention of blood #mention of violence #chicago musical #roxie hart #velma kelly #cell block tango #taylor swift #musicals #broadway #musical theatre

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astragreenwoode · 10 months

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The Spitfire Curse - Chapter Four

Previous: Chapter Three • Next: Chapter Five • Masterlist • AO3 Version

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x Fem!OC (Only Mentioned)

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Non-specified Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Hypersexuality, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Hearing Voices

Genre: Adventure, Thriller, Horror, Slow-Burn Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Smut, Fluff, Slight Canon-Divergence, Fix-it fic

As always, thank you @take-everything-you-can for your beta reading and all your feedback!

Chapter Four: Filled With A Distrust In Authority

Word Count: 8,374

Chapter Warnings: Disembodied Voices, Police Brutality, Anxiety, Self-Deprecating Thoughts, Assault, References to Murder and other Criminal Activities, Mentions of Drug Use, Self-Harm, Mental Illness

Chapter Summary: Maeven reflects on her relationship with cops before her nerve-wracking meeting with the police chief of Hawkins, who turns out to be the complete opposite of what she expected.

June 1982

Billy and I had our fair share of run-ins with the cops. I can count on both hands the times we were caught smoking weed, trespassing in abandoned buildings, or fooling around in his Camaro. We were only arrested or put in a holding cell twice, but it was twice too many times. Mom and Dad gave me hour-long lectures that ended up with me running to my room and slamming the door on them as I yelled back, “I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

I never used to do that before.

I wasn’t always frightened of cops. Up until I learned about the Gay Liberation Movement from my uncle, I saw them as people I could trust with my life and safety. But even then, I always felt some uneasiness shaking up my body. Even though I knew I was supposedly ‘safe,’ their presence filled me with a fear similar to the kind when I would get in trouble with a teacher when I didn’t even understand what I did wrong.

After my uncle told me his story of being in so many protests and what cops did to people like him, like me, my seemingly pointless fear of authority figures was validated. This wasn’t long after I had my first kiss with a girl in Middle School.

Even if this sudden realization made my life feel on edge from there on out, something that was constant during this period in my life was my Dad; I never felt unsafe with him. And I had a better understanding with him about why he’d have Max and I favor him instead of the cops in terms of our safety. The waters of doubt became clearer after I was arrested for the first time.

My friend, Emily Bernard, was my first ever kiss and almost girlfriend, but we were awkward with each other whenever we weren’t making out. Her brother, Jordan, was my first-ever boyfriend. He was my first everything. On one hand, being his girlfriend kept me safe from the possible bullying I’d get if it got out that I liked girls. On the other hand, I genuinely did like Jordan. Being with a guy could be just as charismatic and breathtaking as being with a girl.

Sure, he was a bit clueless and headstrong, but he meant well. He was reckless with himself for fun, and I was always the one to talk him out of making bad decisions. It was exhausting at times, but we really enjoyed each others’ company. I was naive enough to think that maybe, just maybe, we’d be together forever. Maybe it was my inner child still trying to hold onto that fantastical hope that disappeared the older you get. Maybe it was my brain telling me how much I needed close bonds like this in order to survive, the way animals do in the wild. But I wasn’t a princess. I wasn’t an animal. I wasn’t in a fairytale. Life wasn’t perfect.

When I was a freshman in high school, two years into our relationship, I found out that Jordan cheated on me. He was my first heartbreak, the last first he’d ever be to me. Even when he tried to deflect my anger toward the girl he hooked up with, I stayed mad at him. He was the one in a relationship. Jordan could’ve simply told her that, but he didn’t. It was the fact that he chose not to that made me so mad, and it was insulting to try and make himself out as the victim.

After a week of burying my heartache in ice cream and horror movie marathons with Max and a month of avoiding eye contact with Jordan at school, I went to his house to drop off a box of his things we kept in my room. I was also hoping to get my stuff from his room in return. It was what adults did; it was the mature thing to do. I had come to terms with our breakup and was ready to move on.

But we weren’t adults; we were kids. And more often than not, kids are villainously petty. The day I came back to the Bernard family home to return Jordan’s things, I went from mature to petty in a flash. It was a cool summer night as I was about to ring the doorbell, I heard Jordan curse out in the backyard.

“OW! GODDAMIT!”

When I trailed around the house, I found him tripping over a bundle of tree branches. He was really good at building fires. We used to camp a lot. As soon as I saw I box with all my things I left with him next to the roaring fire pit, I lost my shit. It was the first time I heard the jumbled voice that taunted me with intrusive thoughts and impulsiveness.

They told me, “Fuck being the bigger person! He’s about to burn all your shit! Are you gonna let him get away with that, Maeven?”

Without even realizing it, I snuck up on Jordan so that the next time he turned around, he’d scream and fall backward.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He screamed like your average horror movie victim; it was probably the reason he didn’t like to watch them with me. Jordan could be tough and headstrong in certain situations but was a clumsy scaredy-cat once he stepped outside of them.

“Oh, hey, Mae-Mae! Hi, uhmmm, what. . .what’re you doing here?”

“You don’t get to fucking call me that, Jordan! Not anymore! So, I’ll ask you again; what the hell are you doing?!”

As he awkwardly looked me up and down, he frantically gathered the branches and threw them into the fire pit with some old clothes I didn’t recognize. It must’ve been for kindling.

“What’re you doing here?”

I rolled my eyes. Did he honestly think I was that stupid? Did he not see the completely obvious box of his things I had in my hands?

“I asked you first,” I sneered at him. He jumbled on his words momentarily, making random vowels and sounds before straightening his train of thought.

“Spring cleaning?” He gave me a nervous smile that said ‘please buy it,’ as he began sweating.

“It’s June, and that’s a fire,” I pointed out.

His pupils dilated with panic as he stood up before a lame attempt was made to hide my box of stuff behind his dumbass legs as if I hadn’t already seen it. One of my worst pet peeves of his was how he refused to admit when he was cold. I rarely saw him out of shorts.

“My turn. What’re you doing here?”

“I was gonna be the bigger person and return the stuff you left at my house before proceeding to never speak to you again.” I gestured to the box of his things in my grasp before placing my hand on my hip and tilting my head.

“Good for you, Maeven. I’m proud of you,” he said so matter-of-factly. I could tell he was bursting with the energy he needed to make a run for the house.

“Yeah. But now. . .now I’m having second thoughts.”

The closest thing to Jordan shitting his pants was his heart dropping into his stomach. He had never seen me this angry before, but I had been bottling up all the bullshit he made me endure these past two years.

“Really? Why is that?”

If it were possible, he’d fill a barrel of nervous sweat like an old cartoon.

“Because you’re burning my shit, Jordan! That’s why!” I almost cut him off, my intrusive thoughts and instinct response jumping against his verbal attack.

“No I wasn’t,” he defended himself, surprisingly calm. “Can I have my box back now?”

Yes. This was the hill I was willing to die on.

“I don’t know, Jordan! Can I have my virginity back?!”

The world around us suddenly went deadly silent and laced with tension. Jordan’s eyes widened in shock, but he remained speechless. If I’d been able to see beyond my anger at his betrayal, I would’ve noticed the small changes in his body that indicated when his heart split in half.

“I didn’t even burn it, yet!” he whined.

“But you were going to,” I clarified. His eyes widened as he realized he was caught red-handed in a lie.

“. . .shit.”

As if he was an animal using its defense mechanisms, he took one of the branches out of the fire pit and swung it at me, hitting my arm as the flames burnt my skin. It felt like someone pushed me into a hot grill.

“Are. . .you. . .SERIOUS?!?!”

My face scrunched up in anger as I subconsciously threw his box on the fire pit. I didn’t feel the pain in my knuckles until after it collided with his face; at least it didn’t hurt as much as my arm burned. It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did to see him clutching his face on the grass like that as he pinched his nose to stop the flow of blood. He was pathetic before, but he looked even more so now.

“What’re you two idiots doing??” Emily yelled at us as she stood on the porch.

“I’m not an idiot!” Jordan and I yelled in unison.

“Right,” she rolled her eyes. “Hey, Idiot and Maeven. Knock it off.”

I let out a laugh so unnecessarily loud, making me feel even better than before now that I knew at least someone was on my side. . .for now.

“Whose side are you on??” Jordan whined again, getting up to walk towards the porch to his sister.

“Let’s see who wins first, then I’ll decide,” she replied.

“She burnt my stuff, Em!” he yelled, using his now blood-covered hand to point at me like a tattling toddler. “Skating and rock music have driven her to violence!”

I walked right up to him as he backed off like a cornered rabbit. I got up right in his face as I narrowed my eyes.

“You were gonna burn my stuff first, Jordan! And the only thing that has driven me to violence is you, you small-dicked son of a bitch!”

At my last syllable, he stumbled backward on his feet and knocked the back of his head on the wooden railing of the porch.

“HA!” Emily laughed before covering her mouth with her hand.

Jordan got up almost immediately and towered over me, ready to defend his honor.

“I told you never to mention that!” he yelled, shoving my shoulders, forcing me to step back from him a bit. I turned my eyes toward Emily.

“Will you please talk some sense into your lunatic of a brother!?”

She exhaustedly groaned, tilting her head up to the sky.

“You’re both acting like lunatics! And if you don’t knock it the hell off, someone’s gonna call the cops!”

In her defense, we were pretty loud.

“Fine. I’ll go as soon as you apologize and give me back my stuff,” I said, turning my head to Jordan. He had gotten what he deserved. I burnt his stuff, gave him a bloody nose, and announced the size of his dick to his whole neighborhood. That should’ve satisfied me, I should’ve known when to walk away, but I didn’t.

“Apologize?!” he laughed in my face. “I don’t have to apologize for anything, Maeven! You punched me in the face and burnt my shit! And technically, you don’t get a say in what I do with ‘your’ shit. You left it at my house, therefore, it's mine.”

I considered punching him again, but I didn’t. It would’ve landed me in more trouble than I already was about to be in.

“There she is! Right there!”

I turned around to see Mr. Bernard pointing his finger at me, two cops behind him as they stomped their way toward me. One of them took out their set of handcuffs.

“Dad?” Emily asked him. “What’re you doing?!”

“Oh, shit-AAAHH!!”

Before I knew it, one of the cops shoved me in the chest and sent me falling backward on the grass. My head collided with the ground and made my ears ring as I tried to find my bearings.

The one without the handcuffs aggressively turned me over onto my stomach before proceeding to push his knee into the small of my back. It forced the air out of my stomach and lungs. My brain tried to force my body to move, but I was frozen in place. I understood now that it was my body’s way of keeping me safe; it knew better than my head that I couldn’t fight this situation.

“What the hell!? I didn’t do anything!”

He shoved my head into the grass with his hand as his partner bound my hands. They hauled me up by the chain of the cuffs as they dug into my wrists, roughly grabbing my arms as they dragged me away.

“You’re under arrest for domestic violence and destruction of property. You have the right to remain silent-”

I blocked them out and turned my eyes to the Bernards.

“You’re arresting me for a bloody nose and a bad breakup?!” I scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?! He’s the one who burnt me!”

I couldn’t prove it, but I swear that one of them dug his fingers into the fresh burn on my arm. My feet refused to move as they dragged me along the grass from the backyard to their squad car; it was hard to believe this was really happening. It certainly wasn’t necessary for them to be this aggressive with a 5’4 fifteen-year-old girl.

“Dad, what’re you doing?!” Emily yelled behind me.

I could hear them trailing behind us as one of the cops kicked at my feet, forcing me to stand and walk with them.

“She assaulted him! It’s the least she deserves!” Mr. Bernard replied to his daughter.

“Dad, it’s just a bloody nose! I’m fine! Just let her go!”

That was certainly a surprise. It was the first time I heard Jordan show any type of courage. Even after I burnt his things and punched him, he wanted to help me.

“Maeven, it’s gonna be fine! I’ll call your mom!”

“What?! No!” I turned to Emily as the cops pushed me into the back of the car. “She’ll kill me! Call my Dad!”

“I don’t have his number!”

“Fuck! Okay, just. . .just don’t worry about it, Em. Okay?” I yelled through the glass. “Don’t call anyone. I’ll call him when I get there.”

As they drove me away to the station, I wasn’t certain of it, but I thought I could see Jordan mouthing ‘I’m sorry’ to me. I shut my eyes and did my best to put my mind anywhere else but here. I wasn’t being arrested. This wasn’t happening. I was with my Dad and my sister in the woods. We were having fun. Everything was fine. It felt like heaven.

That trick never worked, but I still try it to this day.

A week later, I found my box of stuff returned to me on the front steps of my house, along with a note I didn’t have the strength to read. Jordan was officially the bigger person in this equation.

. . .

Without his morning cup of coffee, Jim Hopper couldn’t comprehend the busy sounds of the police station; the ringing of the phones, Flo’s daily notifications about his upcoming meetings, and the occasional pats on his back for just being present before noon. The small coffee machine was a gift from God, he convinced himself. A sip from the strong, fresh-brewed cup of coffee melted away all his sleep deprivation, muscle tension, and lingering hangover; as well as the headache from taking care of a certain little girl whom he shared his cabin with.

Taking a seat at his desk, his vision cleared and focused as he stared into his cup as he added his desired amount of sugar and a splash of the thick creamer. Hopper faced the tower of manilla folders, stacked as high as they could go without tipping over. He flipped open the folder on top before being interrupted by a rapid knock at the door.

“What?” he groaned out. There was never a moment of peace around here.

“Well, good morning to you, too, Hop. Or should I say ‘afternoon?��” Flo let out a laugh. She flopped yet another Manilla file on his desk right in front of him, almost tipping over his coffee. The digital clock on his desk read 3:26 PM in red letters.

“Flo, why would you do that? Can you seriously not see the big stack right next to me?” he whined, palming his face and rubbing his eyes with both hands. Flo rolled her eyes.

“This might just be my personal opinion, Hop, but if you didn’t spend most nights drinking and your mornings nursing your hangovers, maybe that damn stack wouldn’t be as tall as the Empire State Building,” she retorted back at him, hand on her hip.

“You’ve never been out of Hawkins, Flo. How do you know how big the Empire State Building is?”

“Just read the damn file, smartass. It’s the most recent one, anyway. You got a meeting with them in about a half hour, so study up.” Flo had worked with him long enough to know he needed a playfully harsh nudge to get his ass going in the morning. She wasn’t gonna let him get off that easy after showing up late and only working for a couple of hours. And Hopper thought it was the coffee that did it.

Before strutting her way out of his office, she turned to him once more for a final note. “Also, you’re four o’clock is running behind, so don’t expect to be out of here before five tonight, you big oaf,” Flo added, one hand on the doorknob while the other pushed up her glasses. Hopper softly banged his head against the top of his desk in response, pointing to the hot cup of coffee in his fist.

“You want this open or closed?” she laughed out.

“Closed.”

Flo left the door halfway open; a compromise.

The Chief picked his head up and let out a long and therapeutic groan, blindly opening the folder in front of him. He kept his eyes closed for a short moment of calm to officially prepare himself for the rest of the day, however long that ended up being. The contents of the now open file caught his eye, as it was faxed to him all the way from San Diego. How did someone end up in the back-forty of Indiana from the busy city streets in California?

Margaret Maeven Mayfield, it read, a month away from turning eighteen. Hopper could’ve sworn he had heard ‘Mayfield’ somewhere before. It sounded like a distantly blurred name of someone from his military days. Now wide awake, he actually took his time to thoroughly read it in all its details instead of just skimming over the fine print to get each case knocked out as soon as possible. ‘Maeven’ was certainly a unique choice for a middle name. He wondered what it meant.

Despite being reported as being intimidatingly smart and well-behaved by all the staff at her old school and the San Diego police, Margaret had made quite the case for herself as a rebel. Her first arrest was when she was fifteen. The charges, in order, were Domestic Violence, Destruction of Property, Drug Possession, Vandalism, Public Indecency, Public Intoxication, Assault, Inciting a Riot, and Manslaughter. What was even more enticing was that most of all these charges were dropped against the girl, and she was sentenced to community service instead of jail time. Apparently, she was very enthusiastic about her punishment and was rewarded for her work by the community. Who does that? Certainly, not anyone Hopper knows.

Her mugshot emanated an unsettling tone of both heartbreak and terror. She was randomly splashed with blood as she held her name up in front of her, her eyes sunken in. They were dark, both in and under, but still wide as if she had just come face-to-face with the devil himself. She looked so scared. Margaret had a past as wild as Hopper’s entire life had been, and she hadn’t even finished High School yet; expelled from School after her assault, a history of fighting and drug problems, and three months in an In-Patient Mental Institution was enough to grab anyone’s attention, let alone a Police Officer’s.

He knew appearances could be deceiving, but the known victim and suspected criminal looked nothing more than a scared little kid. It reminded Hopper of the Munson boy; practically stolen after his mother’s overdose, both done by the hands of his father, Al Munson. Poor little Eddie just got dealt the wrong cards and had no choice but to accept his place in society as the future resident burnout, both put in place and enforced by the league soccer moms in Hawkins. Hopper wasn’t sure any kid deserved that, even if Munson and Maeven weren’t really kids, anymore. How could someone so young and full of life be accused of so many horrific things?

Jim let his mind wander for a moment back to the times when he himself was a dumb teenager who didn’t know any better. Under the young girl’s circumstances, he could definitely see how and why wrongful accusations could be made against her. He saw himself in the file; a misunderstood kid from the other side of town guilty of nothing but defying their ‘destiny’ and tainting their reputation as a straight-laced good kid. In small towns like Hawkins, you cross a certain street and it’s like a whole other world; divided between the shabby cabins and trailer parks with the so-called ‘town bums’ and the suburbian paradise the soccer moms and their nuclear families shielded themselves within.

The ringing of the phone interrupts Hopper’s thoughts, and he’s suddenly now aware of how he’s been studying the Mayfield file for so long that the red digits on the clock suddenly read 4:32 PM. He huffed out a long sigh before picking up the phone and pressing it to his ear.

“What d'ya got for me, Flo?”

“Mrs. Hargrove and her daughter are here. Should I send ‘em in, or are you still nursing that hangover?”

“Yeah, yeah, send ‘em down. . .smartass.”

. . .

Maeven missed her long hair.

As a child, she wanted nothing more than to have what she, Max, and her parents dubbed ‘princess hair.’ Rapunzel was always her favorite, and she had complained multiple times that the Walt Disney Company was yet to make a movie about her. But she always pictured herself being a wild princess who runs through the woods with leaves and twigs in her hair.

It took her a while to learn how to properly take care of it. She was always so sad when it had to be cut shorter; a result of her failed attempts to grow it out ending in a barrage of too many tangles and knots. After a few too many cuts than she was comfortable with, Maeven finally grew old and patient enough to settle into a good hair-care routine when she was around ten years old.

She loved having so many ways to flaunt her wavy red locks; ponytails, pigtails, braids, and buns. But her favorite way to wear it was to just let it flow down past her shoulders, below her breasts, stopping at the small of her back, so wild and free. Maeven loved the way her partners stroked or tugged on it whenever she was intimate with them. Billy once told her when he fucked her on his lap that running his hands through her hair felt like he was touching the setting sun.

Having Maeven’s hair draped across his body like a silk curtain was one of the only places he felt truly safe. Of course, he had never admitted it aloud to her. It was partially to keep up his tough reputation, but he also didn’t feel like he needed to tell her. Maeven already knew, he could tell. She was always good at reading him.

Maeven’s hair was always the first thing people noticed about her. It was the first thing they noticed about Max and their Mom, too. Besides the blue eyes and the freckles, it was the Mayfield ladies’ defining feature. It was why everyone was so disappointed when she cut it all off so suddenly. One night last February, she woke up from yet another nightmare, a flashback, that someone chased her, hunted her down like a wild animal, and caught her by her hair.

New Year's Eve, 1983 ruined a lot of things for her; parties, drugs, nighttime, and outside, just to name a few. But the worst part of it was no longer feeling safe in her own body. It was the feeling that she was no longer safe being herself. So, acting on sheer impulse and instinct, Maeven took the sewing shears from her mother’s craft room and hastily cut off her long ginger locks until her hair ended up choppy, just below her ears.

She wasn’t sure if she should’ve felt sad at what she had done to herself, or feel relieved now that the cause of her paranoia was severed from her head. All she did know was that she had one less thing to worry about; one less thing that people liked to take advantage of. She didn’t want to be hunted, anymore. She was a little bit safer. . .for now, Even though her emotions weren’t certain, she still cried her eyes out that night.

After letting it grow a bit and finally evening it out, Maeven did her best to embrace her new look. She just decided that she wasn’t going to look at herself in the bathroom mirror unless she absolutely had to brush her hair or put on makeup. It was easier that way; less painful. As the cold, autumn wind passed through Hawkins and made the back of her neck chill that she missed her former length the most. It helped that she never needed a scarf in the winter, as she could always use her hair to cover her neck.

Maeven scratched the back of her neck, running her fingertips over her hairline and short fuzz to soothe herself. She twirled her short locks around her finger and pulled hard; a not-so-healthy way to cure her boredom and keep her anxiety occupied. It was times like this she regretted cutting away her hair the most. The times when she wanted nothing more than to hide her face behind her firey red locks and just sink into herself.

She had slowly gotten used to the constant presence of police since her first arrest at fifteen and all the times that followed afterward. Whatever name you give them, cops, police, pigs, dicks, every officer of the law was different in their own way. Maeven had met maybe a handful of them who actually seemed concerned for her well-being and genuinely wanted to help her. That didn’t make their looming presence any less threatening to her. More often than not, they were the kind to attack first and ask questions later.

Since being discharged from inpatient psychiatric treatment, Maeven did her hardest to appear non-threatening and be on her best behavior, especially around the police. She steered clear of them. Even though she tended to steer clear of everyone these days, she avoided confrontation with police especially. With all the charges that had been brought against her in the years following her first arrest, Maeven knew that whatever was on her permanent record, it wasn’t a flattering portrayal.

The treatment program she went to maybe have helped her with a lot of her many mental issues, but Maeven still felt broken. Even if she recovered, she didn’t feel quite like a human again, and she secretly wished she could just change. It didn’t matter what or who. Honestly? She wouldn’t mind being a rock or a dying star, an animal or an insect. It wasn’t important to her. All that mattered was that she wouldn’t feel like this; being a human was a messy, painful merry-go-round of inconsistencies. It wasn’t worth it, anymore.

Maeven wasn’t sure exactly what was keeping her alive. She felt it getting stronger once they moved to Hawkins, and she was determined to find it. But, for now, her life would just be a mundane and painful routine of various medications, her many coping skills that ranged from healthy to unhealthy, visits with cops and therapists, and trying to stop herself from getting in her own way. It was working. . .slowly. But that's the thing about healing; it isn’t always linear.

She didn’t even hear the receptionist call to her and her mom until she felt her grab her hand in an attempt to bring her daughter along to, . .

“Wait. . .where are we again?” Maeven thought allowed, not even realizing it until her mom looked at her with wide eyes, a mixture of disappointment and concern. It hurt to look at.

“The Police Station, Maevey. You have a meeting, remember?”

Maeven said nothing, her brain still catching up with the rest of the world and the concept of time. She dug her sharply manicured nails into her palms, taking a moment to swallow her anxiety down before smiling and nodding at her mom.

“That’s right,” Maeven silently remembered. After the tour of the school, Neil dropped her and Susan off at the police station. Billy took Max to the arcade and he was no doubt killing time by using the back roads of Hawkins like his own personal race track.

“You were disassociating again, bitch,” the voice scolded.

As her mom gently tugged her along toward the Chief’s office, Maeven felt like the world around her was growing smaller. Technically it was; the walls narrowed as Susan led her down the hallway from the front desk. It wasn’t long at all, or even that narrow. But that’s how it felt.

Susan Hargrove, on the other hand, walked in front of her daughter like she owned the place. Another flaw of Neil’s that rubbed off on her. Maeven wasn’t sure if she should feel scared or safe. She hadn’t felt like she needed her mom’s guidance and protection since she was little. Were either of the Mayfield women themselves, anymore?

Her mom stood halfway through the threshold of the Chief’s office as Maeven mentally prepared herself to remain calm in front of him. This man had access to her file; a collection of her worst moments where she was decided to be bad by people who didn’t know her. He had the power to use everything in that file to make her life worse if he wanted to. It all depended on his impression of her, on whether or not she can do a good job convincing him that she wasn’t the person those documents painted her as.

“I take it you’re Mrs. . .Hargrove? I thought it was ‘Mayfield?’”

“That was my last husband’s name, Mr. Hopper. I remarried this year,” Susan promptly corrected him. Hopper’s eyebrows raised as his eyes narrowed.

“Another Suburban Soccer Mom. Go figure,” he thought to himself.

“Alright, then. C’mon in and have a seat, ladies. I don’t bite,” Hopper gestured to the chairs facing his desk.

“Yeah. You might not bite. But what about you, Maevey?”

Maeven didn’t acknowledge the voice this time but crossed her arms around her middle to hug herself.

She rounded the corner and looked at the Chief. Hopper looked like someone her dad would get along with. Not the sleazy, sexist drunk ones who hovered around him in San Francisco. Out of his police garb, Maeven predicted that he’d be someone’s dad or cool uncle who takes you fishing or cooks you a classic American breakfast. She took a seat next to her mother in her matching leather office chair. The urge to play with and pick at the tears and cracks was annoyingly strong.

Maeven sat so that both her hands were tucked under both her legs, hidden underneath her skirt. She didn’t want her mom to draw any more unnecessary attention to her fidgeting. That was embarrassing.

Hopper couldn’t help but stare at the nervous girl in front of him. She was definitely smaller than he expected, maybe because of the way she carried herself as if she was trying to disappear. No matter how many years he had under his belt as an officer, the cases that involved kids never got easier. In fact, they had only gotten more difficult in the last year. Between Will going missing in a whole nother goddamn dimension and suddenly becoming a parent to a girl again, Jim had a lot to adjust to, lately. And it seemed like he certainly wasn’t the only one.

This girl was too impossibly young to know grief this large. Yet, here she sits in front of him. And even if her files were up to date, Jim had his doubts. He knew that looks could be deceiving, but Margaret Mayfield didn’t look or act like a criminal, much less a bad person. There was just no way.

“So. . .what brings you in today?”

For once, Maeven decided not to count the stains on the carpet or the scratches on the Chief’s desk. Not that she wanted to talk to him, but she just didn’t want to be silent and awkward anymore. In the past, the cops she dealt with before interpreted her silence as a threat, or a confession of her guilt. And she left the school tour feeling oddly confident after meeting Nancy and Steve.

Of course, her mother just had to speak for her.

“My husband called in and spoke with your receptionist, Flora, to make sure you got my daughter’s file from Captain Daly down in San Diego. We just moved here, and we wanna make sure she has a. . .a good relationship with the law enforcement here so that she hopefully doesn’t repeat her past mistakes,” she explained, finishing with a smile on her face.

Susan grew a little too used to assuming Maeven’s feelings. It was fine at the beginning when she at least asked for her permission via a silent nod, but it was more often than not that she just took over and micromanaged the conversation.

“Well, now she just has to pay. Go on, now.”

“No, no, no. Please just stop. Please.”

It took a moment for Jim to process what just happened. He didn’t blame Susan’s daughter for looking at her the way she did, with such frustration and annoyance as she bounced her leg. The psychiatric evaluation in her file did say she suffered from anxiety. Hopper wouldn’t be surprised if this girl listed her mother as a stressor.

“Y’know, I’d actually prefer to speak with Margaret alone, if you wouldn’t minds, Mrs. Hargrove?”

The very thought of her mother leaving the room for a little while lowered the tenseness in Maeven’s shoulders and the air suddenly return to her lungs. She tried not to let it show too much, though. Her mother developed a tendency to notice the little changes whenever her mood fluctuated. No matter how infuriating Susan acted sometimes, the thought of hurting her feelings still broke the young girl’s heart to think about. It was both an impressive and scary hidden talent, like a lighthouse with a giant eye as the light.

“Maybe you should sketch that. It’d look cool,” the voice suggested. Maeven fought the urge to reach for her sketchbook. She could already see the picture in her mind’s eye.

Susan paused for a moment as she processed the Chief’s request.

“Oh. . .sure! Of course! No problem, I. . .” Susan stood up from the chair and placed her hand gently on her daughter’s shoulder. “I’ll just be waiting outside, okay?” she reassured, her eyes turning sad when she looked at her.

Maeven blinked away her idea for a moment to give her mom a half-smile.

“It’s okay, Mom. I’m fine,” she replied, her hand squeezing, then brushing her hand off her shoulder. Susan nodded before walking to the door.

“And it’s Flo, by the way. Not ‘Flora,’” Hop made sure to mention before she had a chance to close the door on her way out.

“Yes. . .of course,” Susan stuttered as she closed the office door. The silence that filled the room after it slammed wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable for once. In fact, it was oddly freeing.

“Thanks. I, uh. . .thank you,” Maeven squeaked out as she fidgeted with her hands just itching to reach for her backpack.

“No problem, kid,” Hopper chuckled before continuing. “My wife was the same way with me and my daughter. She just worries.”

Maeven said nothing, but nodded in understanding, making eye contact with the Chief for about two seconds before turning back to her lap. Hopper could already see that his theory about her being misunderstood in her reports proved to be correct already.

“So, Margaret. Or do you go by ‘Maggie?’” he asked

“No one calls me that,” she said softly. “It’s Maeven.”

Hopper’s eyes darted back to her file just out of her sight.

“Oh, your middle name. Alright. Sorry,” he reassured. But, again, Maeven said nothing.

“Okay, then. Well, welcome to Hawkins, first of all. You like it?”

“Yeah. It’s okay,” she muttered, bouncing her right leg while swinging the left.

“It takes a little getting used to,” Jim mentioned, continuing his attempt to coax this girl out of her shell. He couldn’t help her if she didn’t talk to him.

“Mmm-hmm. . .” Maeven nodded.

The Chief exhaled loudly through his nose in contemplation, suddenly noticing that her eyes were darting back and forth between her fidgeting hands and her backpack. What did she have in there that was so important? According to her file, Maeven could be nervous about drugs in her bag. Her behavior was, after all, common for a druggie, but Hopper didn’t think that to be the case. Still, he treads lightly.

“I see you eyeing your bag, there. Do you need something?”

Maeven’s eyes darted back to him for longer, this time, her demeanor that of a cornered animal unsure how to react.

“Sorry. Do you mind if I draw?” she asked, shaking her head as if to bring her back to herself.

“Draw? Why?” he asked.

“It, uhm. . .it helps with my restlessness and keeps me focused,” Maeven fumbled to explain herself, almost defensive about her hobby. Hopper shrugged.

“If you promise to answer my questions, I got no problem,” he admitted. He really didn’t care, just a little confused.

She gave him a soft smile before immediately reaching for her bag and pulling out a black sketchbook and a small pouch of pencils, pens, and markers. Swiftly, she turned to a fresh page and pulled out a red colored pencil.

“. . .thank you,” she muttered before getting to work.

“So. . .I got a call from Captain Daly all the way out in San Diego, and he filled me in on your. . .recent situation,” Hopper explained, pausing every so often to observe Maeven’s movements as she sketched. The way her hands moved the pencil across the page was random, both erratic and calm with no clear order or pattern, but still had a sort of rhythm.

“Apparently, you had quite a reputation with your school and the law back over in California?”

At the mention of her past, Maeven’s drawing hand came to a dead stop, as if her mind was somewhere else and had to adjust to his words in her own way.

“He knows, Maeven. He knows how insane you are. One toe out of line and he’ll have you sent to an asylum. And you know what’ll happen then, right? You’ll never be seen again.”

“. . .yeah, I guess so,” Maeven admitted, trying her best to swallow her obvious fear of Daly before going back to her sketch. She had finished the basic outline of the lighthouse from a bottom perspective, continuing to draw a giant, graphic eyeball in place of the searchlight.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re too proud about it,” Jim observed.

“I’m not. I never was,” she defended, moving on from the iris to the veins. “I’m the complete opposite, actually.”

She brought the leg she was once swinging up to sit on the chair, almost melting into it. He chuckled softly. Now she was starting to act like a kid her age should.

“Do me a favor and keep your boots off my chair, Maeven.”

He wouldn’t have said anything if he knew that the girl would suddenly switch moods and sit the way a mother would nag her child to.

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, sir,” she apologized.

Hopper mentally scolded himself. She was just started to get comfortable with him and he had to go and ruin it with his big mouth and closed-minded understanding of manners.

“Have you dealt with a lot of law enforcement before, kid?”

“I. . .I don’t have any intention of causing any trouble, Officer, I promise.”

It was clear to him now that Maeven didn’t have an ideal relationship with cops. No doubt due to Captain Daly and his officers. Some of the reports of arrests in her file indicated that she fought(as any other kid would do in her situation) and the officers weren’t exactly.

“It sounds like Captain Daly gave you some hard times. I’m not gonna blame an officer for doing his job, handling your investigation.”

“I know. I don’t either. I know I wasn’t the. . .easiest person to handle,” she confessed, now sketching slowly, moving on to add the details of the lighthouse.

Her attitude toward the situation was delightfully humble, but just as depressing. It was always tragic to see someone so young also filled with so much pain. Jim turned back to her file and skimmed over a couple more pages that mentioned how she gradually started getting into more and more fights throughout the second semester of her failed Junior Year.

“It says here that you’ve had some. . .bad luck with others. And that you’ve dealt with behavioral issues. But you’re on medication now and have been managing your impulses.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, not looking up from her page.

“That’s not something to be proud of, Maeven. You shouldn’t have to rely on pills to keep from hurting yourself and fucking everything with a heartbeat.” the voice scolded in her ear.

“I don’t do that,” she argued against it, shaking her head free of those thoughts.

Hopper looked at her list of medications on her medical records, including the trials and tribulations of finding the right pills that worked for her. It couldn’t have felt too good to have to take that many pills so often.

“So. . .why don’t you tell me what happened, Maeven? Tell me about yourself,” he suggested as she relaxed her shoulders and continued to sketch. Jim didn’t want to pry. Even if it’d been a while since her incident and recovery process, she was still clearly fragile about it.

Maeven shrugged as she finished coloring the red roof of the lighthouse.

“What is there to know? You have my file. You know exactly what I am,” she pouted. It was strange to Jim that she could switch from being a mature young lady to a frustrated child so easily and quickly.

“No. I can’t really say I do,” he gently argued with her. After pausing to take a look at her sketch so far, Maeven shut her book, tapping and scratching her nails against the cover.

“Look, I know that I haven’t made a lot of good choices in the last few years. I know I’m pretty crazy, too. And I know that’s not an excuse and you have no reason to believe me, Sir, but I’m very sorry and I don’t wanna get in any kind of trouble again, and I-”

The longer she talked, the more discombobulated her movements became, and the more frantic and anxious Maeven appeared to Hopper. Her leg shakes as the tapping of her nails on her notebook turned more rapid. It became clearer to him that when Mr. Hargrove called in to say this girl was extremely fragile, he wasn’t kidding.

“Woah, okay. Just calm down, kid. Enough with the formalities,” Hopper held out his hands as he spoke as if trying to show an abused house pet that he meant no harm; the act made Maeven suddenly realized she needed to breathe in between sentences.

“Stop calling me ‘sir,’ Maeven. ‘Makes me feel like a Grandpa,” he laughed, holding out his hand as he awaited a shake. “It’s Hopper. Jim Hopper. My friends call me ‘Hop.’”

“Okay, uhmm. . .Thank you, si-I mean Hop,” she tripped over her words as she accepted his offer for a friendly handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Miss Mayfield.”

It had been a while since Maeven interacted with an adult this way; just a casual, friendly interaction between two fellow adults. The chief’s handshake was firm with respect and emanated a familiar warmth. It reminded her of her Dad.

“Don’t worry. I won’t make too big a deal about this. I won’t let your troubles follow you into Hawkins if that’s what you want. But that also depends on you and your choices from here on out, you understand?”

“I do, yes,” Maeven smiled, feeling a small sense of pride that she thought died on New Year’s.

“Thought so. You seem like a smart kid. Took a look at your grades from Newport. Said you almost broke some record at their school for scoring so high on the SATs.”

“Yeah. . .it’s not that big of a deal,” she laughed, humbling herself again as she looked down at her tapping nails on her sketchbook.

“It is in Hawkins, kid. Trust me,” Hopper playfully argued. He wasn’t exactly wrong, either. Even back when he went to High School, a lot of his graduating class was made up of jackasses that didn’t know their ass from their elbow. The more academic ones ended up leaving Hawkins for better opportunities. Joyce could’ve been one of those people, too. But she was happy where she was. That was the kind of future he knew Maeven could reach. She was too good for this place.

“Not a lot of our kids have that kind of potential. I’m sure you’re gonna be fine,” he finished.

Maeven wanted to accept his compliment, but the voice inside her wouldn’t let her.

“He’s lying to you. He’s just trying to be nice,” it taunted, disguising it as a warning, she was sure.

“So, we both know what your file says. But I wanna hear it firsthand. You wanna tell me about what happened to you?”

Again, Maeven could only speculate what was in that manilla folder. She remembered a meeting with Captain Daly and her mother where he slammed her case file on the table of the interrogation room. She couldn’t bare to look at it. It was painful enough watching Susan read it through the gasps and sobs. She was sure that reading it herself would tear her very soul apart more than it already had been.

“He already knows. Stop buying pointless time and just get it over with. It’ll be easier.”

Chief Hopper wasn’t Captain Daly, though. He wasn’t like any of the other police she dealt with in the past. The ones who blamed her for her fate and tried to turn her into the villain. The ones who didn’t hesitate to draw their weapons on her when they found her bleeding and begging for help in the forest.

No. Hopper was different. Maeven knew he couldn’t fully comprehend what she went through. She lived through what most people would find unimaginable. But Hopper at least had more empathy and a sense of emotional intelligence than any cop she’d crossed paths with.

“Uhm. . .I’d rather not, if that’s okay? Not yet, at least.” she asked, hoping her instincts were right, switching from tapping her sketchbook to scratching the back of her hands

Hopper frowned at the sight. Maeven’s nails were so sharp that her hands were red and threatening to break out in blood.

“I get it,” Hopper said to her. “It’s the first meeting. You’re a little on edge. I have you back here next Sunday, right?”

At the sound of his voice, Maeven ceased her scratching.

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, letting out a sigh of relief at his understanding. Hopper returned her nod before handing her a slip of paper he had just signed; a weekly attendance sheet that she would eventually show to her mom and Neil so they’d know she was ‘improving.’ She would probably get another one from the school counselor tomorrow.

“Just focus on getting yourself adjusted to Hawkins for the next seven days and then we can talk about your. . .situation,” Jim told her, once again treading lightly.

“I can do that,” Maeven agreed, tucking the piece of paper beneath the cover of her sketchbook.

“Alright, kid. You’re dismissed,” the chief said with a small wave of his hand. “Besides, I’m sure your mom’s probably anxious not having you around,” he joked, sure of himself that he wasn’t overexaggerating.

Maeven slipped her book and pencils back into her backpack before zipping it shut, scrambling out of her seat as she walked towards the door and pulled the knob. Before exiting, she took one last look at the Chief, still glancing at her file.

“Officer Hopper?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. I. . .I really appreciate it,” she stuttered out.

“Anytime, Maeven,” Jim smiled back at her. As he watched her leave his office, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the little girl who awaited his return at his cabin in the woods. El and Maeven would get along well.

. . .

A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter coming out. I had to split it up so it wouldn't be too long. That doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like writing chapters at a longer length, but 20-25 pages is my comfort zone. I usually start by just outlining a chapter with all the dialogue I want to include and build the actions and descriptions around that.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The next one shouldn't take as long as this one did as I already have all the dialogue written out for it. I'm writing both chapters five and six at once. Please be sure to leave some kudos and comments, as they are my lifeblood and are incredibly helpful whenever I need inspiration. I'm glad that people seem to be resonating with Maeven. She's definitely the hardest I've worked on when it comes to all the characters I've created over the years.

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