It takes a moment for the sentiment to sink in, and once it does, Link feels his face slowly start to heat. He’d nearly forgotten how none of Skyloft’s Chu Blobs or Keese had truly sufficed to prepare him for his first few encounters on the Surface.

He returns to his task with haste, ears twitching as the demon emits a short, silver laugh.

“Oh, yes, I remember it well! That flimsy old shield of yours struck to splinters, that hideous frog’s tunic coated in slime!” From his peripheral Link glimpses Ghirahim wipe a fake tear. “But then, I suppose we all have to start somewhere, now, don’t we?”

“Oh, shut up,” mutters the knight.

*

A lil somethin’ I been workin’ on o_O

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

you can't be cringe if you have the confidence to back you up

Hello!! I'm currently accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests :)

Pricing is $15 per pokemon! You can request up to 3 pokes in one doodle (+$15 for each extra pkmn). Please limit your request to existing pokemon only (no fusions / custom designs), thank you! <3

Doodle request page: https://ko-fi.com/gotchibam/commissions

Queue / backlog of requests: https://trello.com/b/ty1kyZec/gotchibam-pokemon-ko-fi-doodles

Signal boosts are very much appreciated 🙏🙏🙏 Thank you so much for supporting me & my work!! ;w;

anyway, don’t be a stranger

Saw a tag on a fanfic that went “there’s only one bed (Herbert makes Dan sleep on the floor)” and that concept has been on my mind for days

just remembered the King accused Arthur of loving John, and Arthur agreed with it 10 dead 34 injured

prized possession

Buttercups and Golden Flowers

In my early twenties I know more theology than most men in the churches I've attended who are twice my age. This isn't a boast, I am no scholar. I say this in abject horror and despair.

i need some mirror sex with rapper eren so badddd 😩 i can hear him now telling me how pretty i look while i take daddy’s dick 🤰🏾🤰🏾

nah see, I had to run this backkkk! 🥴🥴 so glad I took a spin back through my ask box bc im finding ALL the gems…whew, why did I have to wake up with this man on my brain so heavilyyyy? Like I cannot shut the fuck up about him today!

cw: influencer reader, mirror sex, throat fucking, backshots, choking, dumbification, praise kink, light slapping, consensual filming, daddy kink, dom eren bc he makes my kitty growl like a tiger :(

“Just a little more, baby. You can take that shit…there you go, fuuuck.”

the encouraging words leaving the mouth of your man as only gagging and gurgling noises emitted from your own. A hand placed subtlety atop your head as he guided it along the length of his shaft. Your pretty, plump lips suctioned around his cock and stained with the remnants of precum from his swollen tip. Because currently, you were sitting obediently on all fours, positioned in front of a floor length mirror with your ass in the air and the fingers of one of the world’s most famous musicians cradling your head whilst his balls slapped vehemently at your chin. Saliva dripping down your exposed chest and the marble tile in his bedroom. All the while, a beaming light from the back of his phone hovered above you as the camera recorded all the lewd acts taking place between you two. It was sort of a keepsake of sorts, a way to keep your minds on one another when you had to part and go on with your busy lives until you were able to hook up once more. Although, it made it much harder to want to leave! So on nights like tonight, you made it well worth his time. “Yeah, eat that dick up, baby. Allll the way to the back of your throat. That’s my good girl..” giving you copious amounts of praise for doing so. Groaning in a high pitched wail as you swallowed him inch by inch. Even gently stroking the side of your face and staring at you as if you were his greatest prize. Leaving you to pant and thank him for his load with a kiss to his tip. Running a thumb along the perimeter of your lips before pushing them in and cooing to you.

“Look up at the camera, princess…looking so fucking sexy with my nut on that face.”

but alas, it wouldn’t be enough to sate his desire for you. What he needed was a little something more to quell those urges he had been experiencing all week. The ones he garnered as he watched you twerk on him in the middle of the club to one of his new songs. The ones that creeped up when you were modeling some new bikini for Instagram and the camera caught at just the right angle to see that plump ass moving with each step. He wanted you in ways he couldn’t even imagine..so now, he had quite the idea to make sure that not only did you two savor this moment but couldn’t forget it either. Without so much as a second word, still holding that phone with the flash beaming against the glass, he’d usher you onto all fours; of course with an encouraging slap to your backside. Making you stretch your arms and ass out, giving him the perfect view.

“ ‘Pussy so damn fat…fucking love it. Play with it for me, baby. Rub on that shit, spread it open..”

instructing you to rub on that clit with a deep groveling voice as he exhaled a cloud of smoke from the nearby ignited blunt. He’d raise his hand that had been idly rubbing on those round cheeks to give you some heavy slaps. His AP watch and chain both glistening underneath the fractals of light in the mirror. But they weren’t about to be the only thing shining…

“..now bring that ass back on me. Put it in yourself..just like that.”

without having to tell you twice, you’d grasp for his shaft..pressing it to your entrance before moving back the rest of the way until you felt it push through your tightness. You’d release a loud whimper, tossing your head back when he’d clutch your throat and start thrusting. Feeding you long strokes that had you trembling the second he started. “Ooh, shit..baby.” Screaming out as you scrape gently at the floor beneath you. Eyes rolled back and biting at your lip, you’d arch your back and let your ass subtly ripple off of his pelvis. Eren kept a firm grip on your waist, only moving just the slightest inch and letting you swallow him with each bounce. Creaming on him as you gradually gained your rhythm. Biting down to stifle your cries but he’d just clamp your throat..tugging your head back for a very sloppy and heated kiss. “…take that shit, baby. Keep fucking me just like that.” Blurting out with the slightest vibration in his voice because he had begun to feel just how tight you were but what was perhaps his greatest weakness was how that sweet voice uttered his name; moaning do submissively and asking how good you felt while fluttering those big eyelashes. He couldn’t resist you or the urge to feed into it.

“You’re doing so good, baby…so pretty when you nut on daddy’s dick. I love it.”

making you face the mirror to catch a faint glimpse of his own gorgeous view. Your face stuck in utter bliss and ecstasy with your mouth slightly agape and drool seeping from between your lips. It was such a sexy sight to behold. Giving you a heavy handed slap to the ass, Eren pulled you back..this time saddling his thumb into your other hole, rubbing around it to really give you pleasure.

“Now keep going.. and lemme see that face while I’m in it too. You look so fucking beautiful letting me stretch this pussy..”

“He was— He was my ‘buttercup’,” she sobbed out, and his hand gripped her far shoulder, “And I— I never even— I never got to tell him how much he m-meant to me— not even th-the stupid sun thing—”

“Oh… Marinette…” he whispered, his nose brushing against her hair, “The sun thing wasn’t stupid.”

this scene from chapter 6 of drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat has PLAGUED me since i read it i am deeply unwell

HOZIER tumblr headers (580x326) [1/∞] +Too Sweet edition