#shouldn't even respond to anons like this but i really want to get some strong hatred for you manifesting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theebubblegumbitch · 1 year

Note

omg you should do a part 2 of “You Know You Ain’t Gettin Your Bitch Back”

You Know You Ain’t Gettin Your Bitch Back~ Pt.2

Chad Meeks Martin x fem!reader

Request: Ask and you shall receive my gorgeous anon <333 I hope you’re happy with it!

Synopsis: After breaking up with your asshole boyfriend Derek, you find some new eye candy in a frat party kitchen… This is what happens while (and after) he walks you home.

Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up heathens!), praise kink, Chad once again being a gf stealing charmer, very much goofy, non-serious sex, basically porn with a plot

Series: Pt.1 , Pt.2

This night definitely had not gone how you thought it was going to, but you weren't gonna complain. Because now, you were being escorted out of the obnoxious frat party that you attended with your now ex-boyfriend, by one of the finest men you had ever seen, Chad Meeks Martin. Even better, he was also walking you home. You were sure you looked like a psychopath, holding back an ear to ear grin at the situation you had found yourself in. It was only now that you realized you were walking past the living room, that Derek was still in. Your smile dropped, as you felt somewhat guilty for Derek having to see his freshly ex-girlfriend leaving with another guy.

Until what happened next that is.

"Wow we literally just broke up like 20 minutes ago and you already found another dude? Slut!" Derek had yelled that at you from across the room. Suddenly Chad stopped dead in his tracks, and so did you, as he flashed you a smile before removing his arm from your shoulders and walking straight over to Derek. "Oh you gonna come confront me you girlfriend stealing asshole? Hey let me know if she fakes another org-" Derek's shouting is quickly interrupted by Chad's right hook. Damn you thought he's strong... You didn't even realize it at first but Derek was on the ground now, dabbing at his bloodied nose. "She broke up with you before she even met me, because you're an asshole. And she's not a slut. Also you may wanna ice that nose, ya know for the swelling." Before Derek could even get up or respond Chad was already walking back to you with a warm grin on his face. You were still slack-jawed in awe. "Sorry about that, he shouldn't bother you again." Just like that his arm was slung back over your shoulders and you both were moving towards the door again. "T-thank you for doing that, you really didn't need to he was just blowing off steam." You said nervously, still somewhat in shock. "Well he was disrespecting you so, I- thought he deserved some disrespect back is all." Chad said as y'all approached the door. Right before you two made your exit you noticed the song that was playing. It sounded like Bussin by Nicki Minaj, and a certain lyric caught your ear.

"You know you ain't gettin your bitch back..."

You and Chad were about halfway to your apartment by now, and you were actually having a pretty interesting conversation about horror movies. "Well, you may not but I love them! I don't know I guess it just feels- safe to me? It sounds weird but when you watch enough of them it gets predictable, and you start to feel in control of your fear." You explained to Chad after listening to his reasoning for not really partaking in the genre. You definitely didn't blame him. "Yea I guess I get that, I just can't bring myself to feel that way about them ya know?" He said with a scratch of his head as you both neared closer to your apartment. "Hey, I can see my place up ahead, you can go ahead and walk back to the party if you want." You said, secretly hoping he would say no. "Yeaa I don't think it's a great idea for me to go back there..." He said with a laugh as you gasped. "Oh right- almost forgot about that." You chuckled as you avoided looking up at him. You weren't sure why you felt the need to look down, it just felt right. Suddenly you feel Chad use two fingers to lift your chin up as he points towards your apartment complex. "Hey look we're here!" You feel your eyes widen, you weren't expecting him to do that. "Oh yea we are, also just pointing would've sufficed." You say in a light mocking tone, but you were glad he didn't just point. "I know, but I wanted you to look at me."

His eyes were now piercing into yours, and you felt a certain warmth in your chest. The eye contact went on for what felt like forever, until Chad broke the silence. "Okay I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and all, so you're probably not looking to hook up or get with someone new or anything like that but I really, really wanna kiss y-" You cut him off as you press your lips against his, feeling him ease into the kiss instantly. It was gentle, but intense and passionate and you swear you never wanted it to end, but you had to pull away from each other eventually. You feel his hand that was on the side of your head ease off, and you slowly pull your lips off of his. Your faces are still impossibly close as you speak. "You uh- wanna come inside?" He looks at you like he wants to devour you before he says yes. You immediately grab his hand and almost drag him inside.

Before you know it you two are in your living room, lips back on each other. His hands are all over you, as if he was trying to touch every single part of your body. Eventually you feel them snake down to your upper thighs as Chad whispers for you to jump. You waste no time in doing what he says, wrapping your legs around his back so he doesn't drop you. You both stay there for a second enjoying each other's embrace as Chad sucks a dark purple mark onto your neck. You whimper a little at the feeling. "I bet that asshole ex of yours never had the balls to mark you up like this..." Chad practically growls in your ear as he places kisses over the fresh bruise. You only moan in response. You guess he's happy with that (non) answer, because next thing you know he's carrying you down the hall towards your bedroom. You make a mental note to thank yourself for leaving the door wide open. He gets to the foot of the bed and you expect him to throw you down, but instead he turns around and throws himself back onto the bed, making you squeal in shock.

You end up adjusting your legs accordingly, now straddling him. You take the opportunity to run your hands along his chest, slowly tracing every curve of his abs. You were now incredibly thankful that it was a college costume party, especially since you were wearing your shortest mini skirt as part of your lazy Britney Spears costume. You didn't want to wear it at first, but my god were you glad for it now. Chad was now moving his hands under it, making way to your center that was now impossibly wet from your little makeout session. You were breathing awfully heavy in anticipation and need, and Chad seemed to notice. "You want me to touch you baby?" You said yes quicker than you probably ever had, and just like that Chad's thumb was rubbing against your clit through the fabric of your panties. You went to kiss him again, whimpering against his mouth as he moved faster.

"You gonna cum just from this baby? Huh? You gonna be a good girl and cum for me?" You could barely nod as you felt your high approaching, burying your head in Chad's shoulder as you got lost in the pleasure. "Look at me or I stop. Okay?" You definitely didn't want that to happen, so you reluctantly met his gaze. Intense wasn't enough to describe it. He had a dark look in his eyes as he seemed to almost be staring into your soul, which was enough to make you cum with a yell as you squeezed your eyes shut. Chad gradually slowed the work of his hand as you came down from your high, letting out an airy laugh. "W-what's so funny?" You said as your chest heaved slightly, still out of breath. "Oh nothing just, that one didn't seem too fake." He said with a smirk, referring to what Derek was yelling before he got knocked to the floor. You were laughing a little now too, placing a hand on Chad's chest to steady yourself. "Don't worry, it wasn't." Once again your eyes met Chad's. His gaze had softened from what it was before, but you could tell he still wanted you. Mainly because of his obviously hard dick pressing against your still clothed pussy. "We can stop now if you want, I don't wanna pressure you into anything."

He was so sweet, but you felt bad leaving him hanging. That and you were still incredibly turned on. You felt the best way to show that was by taking off your white button-up (you had foregone the bra as per Derek's request). You watched as Chad's eyes went wide. "Okay your chest is definitely better than mine. I mean- wow." You laughed at his comment, leaning forward slightly so your bare boobs grazed against him. You felt his dick twitch slightly at the friction. You planted a kiss on his cheek before standing up so you could remove what was left of your clothing, watching as Chad did the same. You moved to sit on his lap again, throwing your arms over his shoulders as you kissed him again, this time hungrier. You went to wrap one hand around his length, your hand barely closing around it as you went to stroke him. He threw his head back and let out a low moan at the contact. "Very impressive cowboy." You said as you continued to stroke him slowly. He chuckled a little at your comment before bringing his head back up to look you in your eyes again.

"Glad you like it, but you'll probably like it better once it's in you." He bucked his hips up slightly as he said that. You went to line his dick up with your entrance. "Let's find out shall we..." You gripped his shoulder and kissed him again as you sat all the way down, allowing yourself to get used to his size. He was big, a lot bigger than Derek, and even he was hard to take sometimes. Chad must've noticed you struggling as he spoke next. "You okay? Did I prep you enough or do you need a second?" You felt yourself relax more just from how attentive he was, so you took a breath and starting to lift your hips up. "No I got it." After you said that you threw your head back and started to bounce on him, moaning ever so softly each time he filled you up again. Chad quickly started to match your movements with his thrusts, holding one hand on your back to keep you steady. "Fuck Y/N, you feel so good oh my god." You grew more encouraged at the praise, causing you to start going faster. You felt your orgasm building so you closed your eyes to focus on the pleasure you were feeling. But Chad wasn't gonna let that happen. "No no open your eyes, you know the drill I wanna see you." You were so lost in it that you barely heard what he said, still keeping your eyes closed. You only opened your eyes when you felt him tilt your chin towards him. "Please baby you look so pretty like this."

You nearly lost it at his words, moving just a bit faster, Chad meeting you every time. "Oh my god I'm so close please don't stop please." You were moaning and panting and nearly screaming Chad's name as you got closer to cumming, and he wasn't far behind you. "It's okay I won't, you got it I'm right behind you." You came hard once he said that, attempting to slow down in order to avoid over-stimulation. But Chad still hadn't come yet, before you had a chance to breathe he was grabbing your hips and practically impaling you on his dick. Rambling little praises and moans as he went. Finally, you felt Chad bury himself deep inside you, instincts telling him to bury his come in you as far as possible. You pressed your now sweaty foreheads together as you slumped against him. You both stayed like that for awhile, riding out your highs until Chad broke the silence. "I hope you don't go back to that douchebag after this." He said it with a laugh but you could tell he was dead serious. You laughed with him at the idea. "Trust me, I won't." Chad pulled you closer to him as he stared into your eyes.

"Good, because you're mine now." You were perfectly okay with that.

A/N: woohooo! first full Chad smut! this one isn't very descriptive but I'm actually really proud of the dialogue? anyway I have some other fics in the works but I STILL NEED MORE ASKS!! so don't be shyy! also feedback is very much welcome as I'm always looking to improve! happy reading gorg!

-With love, Miss Grace <3

#~grace writes!#writing #chad meeks smut #chad meeks x reader #scream 6 #chad meeks martin #chad meeks martin smut #chad meeks martin x reader #scream

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badtzpocalypse · 8 months

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omg hi hi!! I was the anon who requested the Yandere tighnari hcs and I loved it ahhh!!!! I’ve been rereading it all day!!!

if it’s alright with you, could I request Yandere Lyney hcs with a male fox hybrids reader (again lol)

also can I be referred to as 💌 anon if you do anon stuff

Hi, Welcome back 💌 Anon! Thank you for submitting another request. (I'm so glad you liked it I really thought it wouldn't be what you wanted but I'm glad you enjoyed my writing) And you can request as much as you like I'm happy to write it ^^.

ραɾιɳɠ: 𝐿𝑦𝑛𝑒𝑦 𝑿 𝐹𝑜𝑥 𝐻𝑦𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑 𝑀!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

ᡶꪗᩏꫀ: 𝓡𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽, 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼

𝗚𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

𝕎𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀʀ sᴛᴜғғ?, ʟʏɴᴇʏ ᴄᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ʜɪs ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏʀᴇ, ɴsғᴡ/18+ (ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ɪ ᴘᴏssɪʙʟʏ ғᴏʀɢᴏᴛ (｡•́︿•̀｡))

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who invites you to his acts and when your in that form of yours he makes you apart of it. He does that quite often, Even Lynette thinks your apart of the show now or Lyney's other assistant.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who introduced you to his mother as his new "assistant" when he obviously knows his interests in you.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who told his mother that you were making conversations with others around Fontaine which lead to Arlecchino sending fatui guards to dispose of them.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 that brushes your fur in your form and goes your makeup when your human.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who gifted you a bow for both forms which was inspired by his design and it totally didn't have a tracker in it because he totally trust you (^v^)

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who invites you to the orphanage and "jokes" about having children with you, since y'know your a hybrid and all.. but of course he'd never do it without your consent!

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who has your head resting in his lap while he's entertaining children, especially when people are caught having friendly or love eyes at you making them pull you close and they disappear within seconds!

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who gives you special seats at his shows even when you insist he shouldn't waste his time which he only responds with ❝𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆 𝗠𝗶 𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗿~ 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻`𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘄𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲.. "𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲"❞

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who drugged you when he found out that you were having some strong connection with his sister Lynette but turns out you just wanted to learn more about her, Lyney and Freminet.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who trust you to be his lawyer everytime he's put for trails. To everyone's surprise (expect Lyney) you made an fantastic lawyer! Even when sometimes it was his fault..

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who puts vibrators special objects inside your hole the place under your tail so he sees your expression during his show or just in general but he mostly does it on show nights.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 whose invited you to drinks knowing you get drunk easily which lead to him tying you down, and fucking loving you until everyone could hear you but he eventually shuts you up.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who's made you your own version of his outfit just more revealing which explains why he's the only who to see you in it

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who calls you his "Little/Baby fox" which results in you two arguing (playfully) about that nickname,, he usually ends up winning but you still got your chances.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who treats you like a prince, he does things that you insist you can do on your own. Especially when it comes to showering he ends up going inside with you and you two basically start fighting for absolutely no reason leading to Arlecchino showering the both of you and a long lecture.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who gets easily jealous it seems like if your talking to someone he dislikes/hates or someone who isn't his family their being dispose with no hesitation

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who stalks you and bugged your house so whenever it's your birthday or a special day for you he knows what exactly to get to you.

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who tries to teach you easy card tricks but not reveal his actual secrets because he might be obsessed about you but he always says: ❝𝗡𝗼𝘄, 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘅 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲❞

𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐞𝐲 who has wet dreams or gets touch starved about you whenever you've been gone for at least a day or going on a travel and he can't come along with

Another request done for my lovely 💌 anon! Hope you enjoy just like you enjoyed the Tighnari one. I am making this quite late (is 9:30 even late?) So sorry if this sense rushed but if you have anymore request please end them through and I'll get to them when I can!

#yandere genshin impact #male x male #mlm #genshin x male reader smut #sub male reader #genshin impact lyney #lyney x male reader #💌 Anon request ☆#genshin imagines #genshin yandere headcanons #genshin fontane siblings

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panandinpain0 · 1 year

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can I request some fluff for Edward with a gn reader? I just really had a bad day and it's so draining having to deal with constant mood swings of other people 🧍 so just some comfort if that's alright?

"Long Day?"

I've had a pretty bad day too, Anon, it'll be okay <3

Fluff/Comfort Edward Cullen x GN!Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Twisting their head back and forth, pops coming from their tense neck, (Y/N) opened the door to their apartment. It was a shabby old thing in Forks, Washington, but they'd had a long day in Port Angeles.

Letting out a long sigh, (Y/N) kicked their door shut, dropping their keys in the bowl next to the door and kicking off their shoes. They slowly started taking off their jacket, eyes drooping, before catching onto the figure in the kitchen doorway.

"Oh, dear God!" (Y/N) exclaimed, gasping and holding a hand to their chest, rolling their eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Edward didn't sound the least bit apologetic, an amused smile playing on his lips as he walked towards (Y/N) and helped them take off their coat.

"It's fine, I just didn't hear you," (Y/N) mumbled in response, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

"Long day?" Edward asked, ready to hear all about it.

"Don't even get me started. What is it with customers treating employees like they're below them?" (Y/N) started walking to the kitchen, getting themself cereal in the dimmed room as Edward followed.

"All day I've gotten complaints on everything I've done- even though I know I've been doing them right! Ugh, and my coworkers seem to think my sole purpose in life is to listen and help them with their problems. Katy today kept trying to get me to talk to her boyfriend for her, can you believe that? There's no sense of professionalism, you have no idea how much I want to tell her I don't want to be her friend..."

(Y/N) continued to rant, sending Edward the most hilarious facial expressions that had him holding back a laugh, opting to nod sympathetically instead. It wasn't that he didn't think their problems were legitimate- that's not it at all. He honestly didn't like seeing them all worked up, but the sense of domestic-ness in the situation brought him peace. He would listen to them everyday for the rest of his life if they'd let him.

Finally, huffing as they set down the milk on the counter, (Y/N) regarded Edward closely.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining-"

"Don't even start that," Edward interrupted. He stood up from his place in front of the counter and walked around it to (Y/N), taking their face in his hands. "I did ask, and you know I never mind listening."

(Y/N) sighed, unsure, but shook their head. "How was your day?"

"Boring without you there," Edward suavely responded, winking.

Snorting, (Y/N) put the milk away and picked up their cereal.

"Wanna watch a movie while I eat?"

Edward merely hummed in response, wrapping an arm around their shoulders and walking with them to the living room.

Turning on the show they'd been watching together, Edward sat down rigidly on the couch. (Y/N) sat down inches away from him, leaning into his body and pulling a blanket over them both (though they knew it'd do little for Edward).

Slowly Edward relaxed, and the two stayed in the warm cushions long after (Y/N)'s cereal bowl sat discarded on the coffee table in front of them.

Speaking of (Y/N), they were snoring on Edward's shoulder, fast asleep as Edward rubbed their arm soothingly. He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on their forehead, closing his eyes. If he'd ever wished he could sleep before, it had never been as strong as it was now.

End

Hope I did your request justice, Anon!

I channeled a lot of my shit into this and honestly I feel comforted- so at least it helped me 💀

-Author Max <3

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight x reader #twilight x gn!reader #x they/them reader #edward cullen x gn!reader #edward cullen x reader #fluff #comfort

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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(Not the original anon, just responding with some thoughts, I hope that’s okay and that my tone comes across as respectful.)

I think it’s disingenuous to pretend that the only difference between Vyvanse and heroin could be a moral one. It’s precisely because I don’t see any difference in the moral value of those two groups of drug users that I want both of those groups to live full lives, not die early deaths due to drug use. In my country heroin is the main hard drug associated with extreme poverty, I don’t think it’s right to equate it to even the most controversial & harmful of prescription psychiatric drugs.

It sounds like you and I have values that are pretty much aligned -- except that your final statement seems to imply that a medication being prescribed somehow imbues it with a quality that makes it inherently less risky or damaging than a non-prescription drug.

Given the number of lives claimed by the opioid epidemic and the number of people who become chemically dependent upon other pharmaceuticals, do you really believe that to be the case? Doctors used to push hard-core barbiturates on bored housewives and to this day they still force psychiatric patients to take incredibly strong anti-psychotics that can cause heart attacks if a single dose is missed. Fetanyl is famously deadly, and it's also a prescription painkiller. Marijuana is approved for medical use in many states in America, but it's highly illegal in the UK. And one of the reasons that heroin is so dangerous to take is because it can only be accessed through a shadow economy where there is no accountability for contaminated doses, and use is so highly illegal and stigmatized that users are forced to quietly overdose in dingy bathrooms rather than controlled access sites.

Do you see the point I'm getting at? You and I might have certain emotions about certain drugs and we might not want people to die or to suffer and that's all well and good -- but that's not an objective reflection of what using a drug has to look like, or what it would look like, in a world where certain drug users weren't oppressed. There are actually a lot of really disturbing side effects and habit-forming qualities associated with many ADHD stimulant treatments, but that doesn't mean people shouldn't have access to them or should be demonized for using them. I simply also believe the same thing about heroin and weed and caffeine and cocaine. This doesn't mean I'm waving my hand around and saying all substances are equally safe -- the reality is that all these substances come with risks, and people use them for a variety of reasons, and that we should accept that reality and work around it rather than trying to make it not be the case.

#and yes anon your tone is very polite and i take this question in good faith

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tirsynni · 1 year

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Tirsynni....?

I feel like the meme where somebody touches the ground and goes "something terrible happened here."

Man, buddy... what happened?

I've been back on my Resident Evil kick lately, because of the Resident Evil 4 remake. I got super excited about it and I started rereading a lot of fanfics and I stumbled across your stuff again, and I started binging those again!

So I found your Tumblr and I decided to see what was up and I scrolled down and I feel like I shouldn't have, but oh my goodness, what happened?

Has the Fandom gone nuts? You and fonulyn are some of the best Resident Evil writers I know! Why is everyone suddenly being so damn rude?! I just....

I guess I'm just disappointed. I haven't been in the Resident Evil fandom for a little bit, I've been moving around the stranger things circles and I haven't had time to come back until the Remake dropped, and I came back to this.

The same thing happened with another Tumblr author who writes for Resident Evil that I know, I won't name them but I really hope that this doesn't discourage you from writing and that this doesn't discourage you or fonulyn or any other writer for Resident Evil from your love of this wacky, action packed, funny, horror franchise.

I can understand where you're coming from, I do some writing in my spare time, and it's people like you on Tumblr and on Twitter and on Discord that inspire me to be creative! You're one of the people that inspired me to start writing for Resident Evil in the first place, and you're one of the people who inspired my love for the threesome of Leon and Chris and Piers. You're also the person who really made me realize how much I liked hurt/comfort and whump, and how much I loved both reading and writing it. Your self-indulgent writing style made me realize that I didn't have to wait for somebody to come out with the fanfiction that I wanted to read about the characters that I liked, because I could write it myself!

And I'm never going to be able to thank you for how much that means to me.

That anon prompt about the five plus one with the hurt and comfort and whump between Leon and Chris and Piers sounds like a lovely project, and I think I might give it a try, if that's all right with you. Eventually, I know that you would probably write something about it, but I think I'd like to try writing for those three again. You write everything beautifully, and I've subscribed to your author profile on Archive of Our Own because I know that anything you post is worth reading, and I know that you take your time uploading because you want it to be good for us, and I know you take your time uploading because stuff gets in the way sometimes, and I understand that, I understand that more than you might think.

I'm not even a full-time writer, but there's someone who has a lot of creativity and as someone who is anticipating a very big workload in the next couple of months as I prepare for my first ever full-time job, I'm severely wondering how I'm going to be mentally functioning, or even how I'm going to be able to write anything.

But, I have faith in you. Because if you can inspire me, a person with a lot of things wrong about them, a person who has such a deep ingrained fear of writing down the ideas in their head because of the bullying they went through when they were younger?

Then I have faith that you can make it through whatever crisis or situation that you are going through.

We are stronger than the things that try to make us weak.

Sleep sweet, sing strong, stay brave.

I want you to know that I've been cuddling this for a couple days now. lol I haven't had the time (or energy) to sit down and respond, but I want you to know that I absolutely love and appreciate this and want to print this and carry it around with me. <3 <3 <3

On the personal front, everything has been nonstop crazy for the last several years. My dad got sick with leukemia, we thought he was in the clear (he rang the fucking cancer bell even!), only for the cancer to return. Last October, we were told that he was probably not coming home. Since then, he's had another stem cell transplant and he's doing much better, but everyone is still anxious because he was doing good last time and if he relapses again? It's done. My middle kitty's urinary issues returned and she currently has diabetes on top of it. My eldest kitty has pancreatitis. These health issues have required some major changes, multiple vet visits, a couple thousand dollars in vet bills, and me needing to stab my middle kitty with a needle twice a day. They're both doing well now! All my kitties are currently doing well; however, these health issues are a major weight and I'm worried that they're going to cut my middle and oldest kitties' lives shorter than need be. There have been major issues at work, the political situation where I live is terrifying, and I've had a couple health issues myself recently, including covid two months ago or so. Ugh.

Writing has been my escape for years, both original and fanfiction. I love writing and sharing my fics. I love talking headcanons and such with other fans. I love hearing opposing views or different kinks and stuff that makes me think even if I don't agree with it. I've literally been writing for decades. It's my happy place!

Unfortunately, there's been such a dramatic shift in fandom culture that it's difficult for it to be an escape anymore. There's always been some insane drama going on in fandom, but whereas before people would grab the popcorn, now it seems to be nasty and pervasive. It's exhausting. My writing has always been self-indulgent or happily indulging of others, but now there's such a high risk of someone being an asshole or doing everything they can to ruin something you find awesome and fun and inspiring. It hasn't just been RE: many fandoms and fandom culture in general have been affected due to the loss of places like Livejournal and the rise of purity culture and the horrific, dramatic politics of the last ten or so years. There's no more "don't like, don't read." It's people thinking criticism is necessary and the writer should be grateful for it. It's people thinking writers are greedy for wanting to know if someone enjoys their works. It's the rise in policing others and their works, in people insisting that "thought crimes" are real, in people deciding that it's acceptable to attack others.

That fic prompt? The 5+1? If you like it, absolutely go for it. I would love to read it and I'm sure the original anon would, too. I just wish that the anon ask wasn't such a good representative of some of the issues with current fandom culture. When you write it, please make sure to be as self-indulgent as possible, because why not? That's what fic writing is supposed to be, not "If you write this, you're clearly a terrible person and probably a pedophile."

So yeah, there's a lot going on in personal and fandom life and I'm exhausted and burnt-out, but there have also been awesome people like you and so many others along the way. I hope that you remember that, too, when your workload increases. Things can get nasty and frustrating but it's never an absolute scenario: there's always awesome, supportive people and there are always moments where you can catch your breath.

Thank you very much for this ask. <3 I'm currently working on ficcage now... slowly but surely.

#personal #random #rant #fandom culture #i have no idea how to tag this #tw: cancer #need more coffee and chocolate #or just a vacation

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beepboop358 · 2 years

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im confused, how is posting a recap of season 3 promising anything about season 4? like it's literally just where they left off, right? they left off with mi*even so the recap has mi*even in it

if they do one with will they'll probably mention something about him wanting to play d&d in season 3, right? does that mean he'll play d&d in season 4 too?

it's recaps, i agree they could have hints of like, byler and so on, but overall, it's a recap, they're not promising mi*even is gonna be endgame by making a recap of season 3. the story's going forwards, things are obviosuly changing as the seasons go. technically no one can go up to them after season 4 (if byler happens) and yell that they said they love each other when it was literally a recap, like whatever happens in these next seasons doesn't change what happened before and mi*even happened, they both at some point in season 3 said they love each other, there's no denying that. so with all due respect, mentioning that doesn't automatically promise it's gonna last forever

maybe i'm being stupid but i'm confused about how this would be problematic for them when it's just recaps, maybe you do, if you do could you explain? genuienly asking :)

hope you're okay!

hi anon!

I totally agree with you on everything you said!!!!

that's what I've been trying to say!! LOL - that we shouldn't count the mike & el recaps that have mileven in them as pro-m!leven evidence for season 4!! Ofc the "where we left off" promos would have mileven in them...they're about s3...when m!leven was dating... LOL. It's nothing we haven't seen before and says nothing about where the show is going. But I've gotten so many asks and I've seen so much talk, that this is what people think the recap promos are doing...

I also totally agree with you that these promos aren't promises of m!leven, and while I think there's no basis for people to yell at ST after s4 that they were led to believe m!leven is happening again in s4 when it's not - if we know anything about this fandom, they will. Even if it's not logical.

I've been saying I don't think this will end up doing them favors in the long run, and it may end up backfiring on them a little, because of how strong a reaction people are having to these promos...People are taking these little recap vids as definitve evidence for s4, when they aren't really, and ST isn't helping this by responding to comments about how they can't wait for s4 m!leven, etc...

Since El and Mike's recaps, pretty much all I've heard and seen is people saying that they are sure that m!leven is being emphasized for s4, and people starting to doubt byler.

So I think because these recap promos have honestly been given maybe a little too much importance in our minds and been blown out of proportion a bit as well possibly, that people are going to say "well they were "hyping up" m!leven pre-s4 and were setting it up and led us to believe it was happening & byler is so unexpected, they never hinted at it, but they did hint at m!leven how could they do this it makes no sense".

People are taking this so strongly it is only adding fuel to the fire for them to hate on byler when it happens, and when m!leven fans don't get the m!leven they think they were "promised" by these recap promos, they are going to be disappointed and upset, and depending on how it goes, they could lose some viewers if people are really really upset.

I hope I explained this okay? let me know if not and I can try again :) thanks for the ask! I hope you're having a nice day! xx

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aquagustd · 2 years

Note

english anon is back!

just passing to say that i may take a time out from tumblr a bit. i probably still read ahie, but i take some time to comment again.

honestly, the whole grammy broke my heart in a lot of pieces. I lost the red carpet, but when I saw Olivia & Tae interaction, I knew something was off. In the beginning, i thought i was being a stupid crazy fan to be bother about the scene (or blaming my period), however....it felt wrong. Like, the boys are fine but I realized how Hobi was acting weird since he landed at USA; Jins situation;how everything was rushed; they didn't win...I kinda was overwhelmed about emotions & almost cried!!! (crazy)

Everything made sense after the Tae's photo. I mean, i saw a lot people saying "it's not a big deal, he is a grown man, he is so hot smoking"... it's kinda send my off even more? The whole existence of the photo was the real deal. It should never be taken, neither to be used as harmful weapon. The person, who did this, has no boundaries; use someones relax time or addiction to harm them for no reason. And i understand the comments, although... idk if i am overdramatic or i just know this position very well, that makes me suffer like it was with me, or a friend of mine. I just think going to "adult & hot" is not a good response (actually, we shouldn't even respond to it more than support or just ignore it, if it does not bother you). Not judging anyone, just... realizing that thing change a lot from who people deal with things, i guess.

Anyway LET'S TALK ABOUT THE GOOD.

JIMIN & YOONGI WEREEEE 🔥❤️✨💗😍💕✨ AT GRAMMYS.

ACTUALLY THE BOYS PERFORMANCE WAS E V E R Y T H I N G! 🥵✨

Jimin almost killed 20 times. WHAT WAS THE TONGUE FOR, MR PARK? (Yes, i know who you are Mr Park 😏😎)

ALSO, i saw you want Jimin as bf...hm, if i was you I will not lost the opportunity to take Yoongi to a good ride at a marriage's drive thru in Las Vegas (he is so knowledgeable

about it!)

am I saying it cuz i want Jimin all to myself? Oh no baby! But let's talk who was in the line first 👰💅🏻

Ok, I'm kidding. And sorry about the rant, i just want to tell you I didn't give up on hies theories & analysis, and i will keep reading it.

Soon, I will be back ❤️

ah you will be missed <3 i totally understand - i also get sad all over again especially when i see that pic of yoongi covering his eyes 😭 but they’re strong & they’re better than the scammys !! im not gonna say much about it bc i really don’t want to open discussion but they absolutely killed it !!!! 😩😩😩 i think i watched that performance probably a billion times now like the whole spy concept AND the ALL BLACK OUTFITS FOCK 🫦🫦🫦

and yoongi talking about the drive through wedding thingy lmfao pls 💀 ofc he would know about that !! my ring finger is empty for you yoongi 🫣🤪🤩

it’s alright !! i understand & i hope you have a good break. i look forward to hearing from you again ♡

#as for tae’s 💨#NO ONE should’ve taken &#published that pic but my first response was #holy fvck that’s hot #fight me 🤷🏻‍♀️#he has a life i wish army’s would realize that & im glad he’s starting to put some of the toxic ones in their place #they want him to remain their bOinG boInG oppa pls ✋🏻#also the way tae was holding it holy shite 😩#n e ways #fvck the scammys #squishies #english anon

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sasarahsunshine · 2 years

Text

TW: Past Sexual Child Abuse, venting, depression

Responding to an anon here. A screenshot of the anon's message is under the cut, alongside my response, to keep my page safe for those who don't want to see this stuff.

But first: Anon, I love you and I'm sorry it took so long for me to reply to you. I always try to be in a good mental place myself before I reply to these vent asks, mostly so I can respond in a way that won't feel fake or rushed. And, unfortunately, I haven't been in the best place recently. I'm definitely doing better now, tho! I hope you are too.

First of all: I am so sorry that you had this experience at all to begin with, and yes what you said makes sense. I'm sorry that you're still learning and figuring out how what happened to you ISN'T normal, and I wish I could go back and save you from everything that happened.

I know that you said you don't really want to talk about it, but my honest opinion is that you should consider therapy sometime in your future. Talking about your childhood with a professional can help you come to terms with it better, help you learn how to cope when you feel numb or upset, and help you understand fully that, yes, what happened to you is NOT normal. And you might feel like you do understand that, but you were 15-16 years old when you finally found that out, and subconsciously you might think, "oh well, that's just how it is."

Writing about it in your stories is healthy, though, so I'm glad you do that. Seeing how someone else might respond to a similar situation can sometimes help you separate yourself from the memory and see it in a different light (if that makes sense), which can help you learn new ways to cope/understand/learn how to handle the feelings that come up when you think about the memories.

Again, I'm sorry that this happened to you at all. I wish I could hug you, both now and your younger self. When you look at your 6-year-old self, I hope you see a strong little person who grew up to be the beautiful and strong adult that you are now--even though that 6-year-old shouldn't have had to be strong in the first place. You should have been allowed to play and dream and learn like every other child, and I'm sorry you didn't have that childhood.

And, with that said, I don't know what a "normal" childhood looks like either, but you don't have to grow up yet. If your inner child loves stuffed animals or barbies or hot wheels, then you should go get some for yourself. If your inner child loves drawing with sidewalk chalk and blowing up balloons for fun, go do that (if you can). If you like cartoons or videogames, then go enjoy those things. You're only 18, so you're still so young and you have so much life ahead of you.

It won't make the bad things go away, and it won't fix your childhood, but you can always make new memories and enjoy things NOW, no matter how old you are.

I hope you're doing better, hon, I really do. I love you, okay? <3 You can always vent to me again if you need to.

#Sarah replies #ask #anon #anon vent #tw past csa #tw venting

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creatingnikki · 3 years

Text

Should I just leave tumblr?

Due to bullying.

2020 had been a fucked up year for most people. For me it wasn't just covid 19. In early summer I was afraid of being kicked out of my house and not having a place to stay. It was one of the most terrifying times of my life. I didn't know what to do or who to look towards for help and support. In all that life wrecking stuff I didn't respond to my friend. My dear friend Autumn. We had been friends for as long as I probably started using Tumblr.

When I reached out to her after things got sorted out a bit she decided to ghost me but before saying that I haven't been there for her. I understood one could be mad especially when they felt like a friend hadn't been there for them so I decided to give them some time to be mad at me, to argue with me, and then to get over it.

Then I had a seizure. And my life as I knew it completely changed. I didn't share this with them. I didn't want to leverage that. That's the last thing I wanted to do.

Yet, this friend decided that I was a toxic manipulator and the best is to ignore me.

If you know me, you know I'm anything but that person. I'm not an angel, I make mistakes and unintentionally hurt people too sometimes. But I realize that and I truly apologize and I try to fix things.

But not responding to a few texts while my life is completely shattering shouldn't be cause for someone to write me off. Or even of they want to, thats their choice. Fine, I was just making my peace with it. But to have their friend attack me? That's cruel and unfair and unacceptable.

I have received a lot of anon hate over the years but all of that was bearable because I knew it came from a random place. Those people didn't know me really and I didn't care about them.

But to wake up, while I'm trying to figure out therapy, seek out a second opinion from a neurologist, adjusting in my new house and trying to be a little excited about my birthday, to messages like this just absolutely broke my heart.

Nothing I have ever written on my blog has ever implicated anyone specific on tumblr. Any writer would, especially one who writes from pure emotion like me, know that when you are writing about something it's never one person or one incident or one memory. It's a jumble of multiple such that make you feel the same way.

I never went around and played the victim and told anyone about what went on between me and Autumn. But I didn't know what to do or how to process or how to not absolutely break down after seeing this in my inbox.

What this is is pure bullying. And I never expected to be a victim of that on a place like tumblr that I have always considered my safe haven.

Not replying to a friend for a few weeks when you're trying to hold your life together is not you walking out of their life. Trying to patch things up with them with carefully distanced messages like on their birthday and around Christmas so that it doesn't feel like clingy behavior or coming off too strong isn't playing mind games. It's being considerate of how they must be feeling and not wanting to impose on them.

Before this post, I haven't ever said or done anything that would paint me as the victim in relation to my friendship with Autumn. And even this isn't about that. This is about feeling attacked and bullied by chronicallykalene.

It makes me feel so helpless and weak and angry as if I'm back in high school being bullied and cyber bullied by a group of people. Only this is worse. Because this was supposed to be my safe space. My instinct and tears right now tell me I should go off tumblr. But the life wisdom that I have in me knows that isn't fair or right to me. But right now seriously I don't think I can take this. So I don't know what to do. Other than try to be okay and breathe.

Also like accusing me of sending my self "fake anons"? The only thing I can think of about that is what my parents always say. When people accuse you of such things it's probably because that's what they do.

I think what's unhealthy behavior is labeling every single person who doesn't appease to you or pisses you off as a psychological abuser and toxic person who needs help.

I do not have ten thousand anonymous blogs where I go bitch about people without them knowing it's me. But I can write whatever I want on my blog. And yet I never wrote anything implicating or abusive against someone who was supposed to be my friend.

I should stop here because I feel like I shouldn't have been the one justifying. It just baffles me because people who are supposed to be the 'kind' ones sit on a morally high horse and go around slaying people thinking that they deserve that. In this case with their words. But who doesn't know that words are the most painful.

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fangirlings-things · 4 years

Text

Tell him...

─━━━━━━⊱❉⊰━━━━━━─

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Aethelwulf x female reader

Summary: Ragnar's sister catches the Prince's attention when the northern men arrive at Wessex and go to the castle to make a deal with the king

Word count: 3.4K

Warnings: curse words, mentions of sex and violence

Based on this imagine

Gif credit: @philomaela

• Requested by anon: hey could you do a one shot about your Aethelwulf imagine? Thank youu

Hope you like it anon, it was fun to write this, so it turned out to be longer than I expected!!

“So if we fight for princess Kwenthrith, you will give us a piece of land?” Ragnar's tone was questioning, precise as usual. Leaned back on the chair he had occupied in a almost relaxed position, he appeared to have no worries at all in life. But it was far from the truth. One of the most things Ragnar Lothbrok had in those times, were worries.

“Yes, yes” King Ecbert agreed excitedly, his curious eyes averting themselves between all the northern that were currently sitting at his table, feasting like old friends. His tone was tender and his smile was sympathetic. Too good to be true. “If you agree to help giving Mercia's throne back to it's rightful owner, that being princess Kwenthrith, I will give you a good part of land where you will be able to farm and live in peace”

“He has his own ambitions over Mercia, doesn't he, brother?” you spoke in the northern native language, making all the english present frown in confusion and curiosity. It amused you, no doubt, as you raised your eyebrows in Ragnar's direction. You might not understand what the King was saying directly but just from Athelstan's translation and the look in that man's eyes, you knew he was hiding something. Had to be.

“Of course he does” Ragnar fixed his bright blue eyes on you, his younger sister, that impertinent smile that curved the corner of his lips a lot appearing on his face and enlightening his features. He wasn't surprised at all about your good observation. “But that is not our bussiness or responsibility”

“What are they saying?” King Ecbert directed his question to Athelstan, who was sitting by your right side in his monk clothes, the ones you had gotten unused to see him wearing in the last few years. See your friend back at his own faith, hurt you a little. You hoped he could after, all find, comfort in your people’s Gods. But the fact that he didn't, didn't changed at all your care for him. Honestly, you had been devastated when you thought he had died. It was soo good to see him again.

“They are discussing the proposition, my Lord” Athelstan quickly lied, the serious expression he held in his face leaving no questions to be made about it, convincing everyone.

You had a little amused smile on your face after hearing Athelstan's words and when you took her eyes out of her brother's face and passed them through the english folk, you met the prince's. He was staring at you deeply, it seemed that for a while now, since he didn't turn away when you returned his intense gaze. That only made your amused smile grow wider, to see the various shades of interest his brown eyes were assuming while fixed on you.

“Athelstan?” you called the priest and that made him turn his attention to you, as well as everybody else. Just like you wanted to. “Ask prince Aethelwulf why he is staring at me like that”

By hearing his name, even though he didn't understand what had been said, the prince semeed to be finnaly gotten out of guard and clearing his throat, turned his eyes to the food he hadn't touched since it had been served almost an hour before.

“Prince Aethelwulf, King Ragnar's sister, (Y/N), wants to know why you are staring at her like that” Athelstan made the question in a neutral tone, although in the silent great hall it sounded like teasing.

“Tell her I am thinking whether she is or not a threat” the prince ended up saying after giving it some thought, his hands joined over the table and the metal ring on his finger seeming suddenly colder. Or was it his body that was getting hotter?

Athelstan translated what he had just said to you and Aethelwulf just watched as you listened to the words the monk said and continued to show that smile of yours.

“Tell him, that he shouldn't be thinking about it. He should instantly consider me a threat” you played with the metal knife that had been placed by your plate for the feast, rolling it between your fingers with an undeniable ability. It made the prince ask himself how many men you had already killed. Plenty, probably. “I can be dangerous. If I want to”

“(Y/N)...” Ragnar said at the exact same time as Lagertha let out a laugh, shaking her head from one side to another, clearly entertained by your statement. And although Ragnar had interfered over your provocative words, he made no sign to stop Athelstan from translating them. And so the monk did.

I can be dangerous if I want to. Aethelwulf chuckled at that, shaking his head just like Lagertha but for a different reason. It was unbelievable, the boldness in yourvoice and the smile that seemed to have been carved up on your pretty face. You intrigued and fascinated him, for some misterious reason. Maybe, it was due to the fact that you were entirely different from any other woman he had ever met.

“Tell her, Athelstan, that I will keep that in mind” now that he could feel all the eyes on him, the hall seemed smaller than it was. As much as he woud never admit it out loud, being under the northern's stare made him nervous. Although maybe, a little less than it really should. Being such a successful commander in battle, Aethewulf had over time, lost real fear over his opponents, whomever they were. The tension, though, never went away.

Athelstan translated the short phrase and for the moment, that little interaction was ended.

“Very well, I accept your offer. I will fight for princess Kwenthrith and give the throne back to her and you, will give us land to farm” Ragnar's voice filled the air, breaking the silence and sounding like a drum even though his tone was stern, not even loud. Perhaps it was the weight of those words, that made them sound so remarkable.

“Excellent!” it was impossible, not to see how King Ecbert seemed to be in a state of bliss because of the answer he had just been given. You couldn't help but think that he apparently needed your people’s warriors, their fighting skills. A lot. “You will leave to Mercia in the morning then, so we can settle this as quick as possible”

“Agreed. As long,” as your brother continued to speak when he wasn't expected to, you laughed discretely. The sudden irritation on Aethelwulf's face was hilarious. “as you take some of my men to the land you will give us, so they can see it and begin to establish themselves”

“That is unacceptable! Only after you actually win the battle...” the prince spilled out the words in quickly, seeming to be just one step away from getting up and taking his sword on hand. You would like to see him try.

“Son” Ecbert gave the prince a warning, reprimanding look before taking a deep breath and clapping his palms together, turning the corners of his lips upwards while fixing his gaze on the King of the northern people. “I agree with your terms. I will take the men you leave behind to the settlement myself, in a gesture of good faith and friendship”

Athelstan translated what the royal men were saying so that Lagertha and you could understand it, word by word.

“He is a prince or a dog, that has to be held back when barking without permission?” your tone was fierce, as well as the gaze you set upon him. The hatred he showed for your brother got to your nerves.

“Athelstan, what did she say?” Aethelwulf immediately asked, when taking notice of Ragnar and Lagertha's careful expressions and the poison on your voice. It couldn't have been nothing good. When Athelstan didn't respond the prince looked at the munk with questioning eyes, just to see a spark of fear in him. That confirmed his previous thought. It couldn't have been nothing good. “Athelstan, what did she say?”

The priest did not answer him straight away. First, he turned to you for approval. Even though he was on King Ecbert's realm and had lived for years under King Ragnar's ruling, he still turned to you first, seeking permission.

“The lady asks if you are a prince or a dog, my Lord” Athelstan had his eyes fixed on his own plate as he spoke, clearly not expecting a good reaction from the prince. “She noticed how you were... reprimanded by your father”

Aethelwulf bit hardly at his lower lip at that, his eyes fixed so hardly upon you that they would have made holes in your head if intensity and anger could kill. The rage consumed his body and only after a moment he got roughly out of his chair and made his way towards you.

You only stood there, watching him with piercing eyes and that disturbingly beautiful smile still carved on your plump lips. You seemed delightful, to have pushed him to such an edge. You didn't even flinch when he grabbed the back of your chair and turned it around so that it was now in his direction, like the weight of you upon the furniture was nothing. He was, indeed, a very strong man.

From the corner of his eye he could see how his father had straightened his posture on the King's chair at the head of the table, his breathing erratic because he very well knew what his son was capable of when angered. Athelstan seemed shocked, frozen in place. Lagertha started to make a move in your defense, but Ragnar stopped her with only a look and a smile. He better than anyone else, knew that his sister could take care of herself.

“Listen to me very carefully” Aethelwulf placed each of his hands on the arms of your chair and leaned down so that your faces were on the same level and really, really close to one another. You were even more beautiful from this close distance. “I am not a dog. And if you ever call me that again...”

And then, you moved. You turned the knife you had been playing with between your fingers once more and in a fraction of a second, placed the blade against the soft skin under his chin. Like you, he didn't even flinch when threatened, although the other's breath hissed.

“What would you do then, huh?” you pressed the blade harder, tilting his head up just a bit. For a brief second, you moved her gaze to his lips and then back at his eyes. Your eyes were filled with such ferocity and wildness. You were a natural viking. He could feel your hot breath on his face, so intoxicating that if it wasn't for the blade on his skin he could have forgotten for a moment about the rage he was feeling for you. “Would you kill me, prince Aethelwulf?”

You looked at Athelstan, and he understood it as a sign to translate what you had just said. He did, and Aethelwulf sucked in a long breath because of how mad you were driving him.

“I think he understood your point now, sister” Ragnar spoke breaking the silence again, not even a little disturbed about the scene rolling in front of his face.

“Right” you said in agreement and then took the blade out of the prince's skin, not before giving his parted lips another glance though. As he returned to his father's side, both the english men exchanging a long meaningful look and while they did so, you turned to Ragnar. “I was just having a little fun”

─━━━━━━⊱❉⊰━━━━━━─

God curse these northern men. Aethelwulf had that same thought playing inside his head over and over again unstoppably, ever since the feast in which the fate of Mercia had been decided was ended. As he prepared the army, it's weapons and organized strategies with his Captains, that thought was always there, hunting him like a persistent ghost.

He couldn't put aside the boldness in Ragnar Lothbrok's voice as he spoke about a deal, like he was certain the King would have no choice but to accept it. Like he was the ruler of the whole world. There was also Lagertha's confidence and how she held her chin high always, even if she spoke little. She seemed prepared for anything, since that in the moment Ecbert spoke about someone staying to lead the northern to their new lands, she agreed. And then, there was you.

You had kept on looking at Aethelwulf during the feast from time to time, and so he did his best to ignore you. Tried, anyway. His eyes always ended up going back to you eventually. You had seemed eager to go to battle for Mercia, but Ragnar told you that you should stay with Lagertha and go to the settlement. And Aethelwulf was surprised to see as you agreed, that your beautiful smile wasn't the same anymore. There was a shadow behind it. Disappointment. You intrigued him, he couldn't deny that. Did he hate the northern? Yes. Did he want to get rid of them? Yes, of course. Would he get rid of you so easily if given the opportunity? Probably not.

His own response to that mental question angered him, like most things did lately, and he slammed his fist on the wooden table he had on his chambers, sighting heavily before placing his elbows on it and covering his face with his hands.

Then, a sudden knock on the door startled him. Uncovering his face and frowning at the sudden visitor, whomever it was, Aethewulf directed his gaze to the open door of his room and was even more than surprised to see Athelstan standing there. What was he doing there in the middle of the night?

“Can I come in, my Lord?” the priest asked after a moment, noticing that the prince was too surprised and confused to say anything.

“Yes, do come in” Aethelwulf cleared his throat and mentioned with one of his hands for the munk to move forward. He did never like or trust Athelstan completely because of his previous connections with the northern men but still, he was a man of God. And a man of God, always deserved to be at least listened.

Athelstan smiled minimally in gratitude and then entered the chamber. As he did so, a second someone was revealed from behind him. Just when this person also entered the room, the prince recognized that to be you, Ragnar Lothbrok's sister, your features illuminated beautifully by the candle lights.

“What is going on here, Athelstan?” Aethelwulf quickly asked, joining his hands over the table and averting his eyes from you to the munk. All kinds of thoughts ran through his mind. Perhaps you wanted to kill him. But what good to the alliance would that bring?

“(Y/N) wanted to see you, my Lord” Athelstan answered his question with honesty and a calm expression on his face. He didn't seem tense like he had been at the feast. It was almost like he already knew the outcome of that meeting. What did he know? “She needed a translator, so I came along”

“What bussiness does she have to discuss with me?” the prince slowly got up from his chair and made his way around the table, stopping in front of it with his arms crossed over his chest in a questioning position. He was someone who took pride in being good at planning and reading others. In that moment, although, he had no clue at all about what was happening and that bothered him deeply.

“It has nothing to do with business, my Lord” Athelstan said those words in a rush, a blush getting a hold of his pale cheeks before he mumbled out his next phrase, without looking the prince in the eye. “She wanted me to ask you if you would like to... fuck her”

Aethelwulf was too astonished to say something. At first, he thought he hard heard it wrong. No, that could not be. But then, he moved his brown eyes from the munk to the you and saw that confident, impertinent expression on your face that made him realize that Athelstan was telling the truth. He had only said in english what you told him to say in norse.

“Ask him if he is always this shy with women” you said in norse, not even trying to hide the fact that your eyes ran up and down the prince's body. Oh, you did like what you saw there.

Aethelwulf took a deep breath after hearing Athelstan's translation of what you had just said. How could you affect him so much? You were right, he not usually froze like that. When it came to sex, he had always been very quick in acting. But hearing such an open invitation from you, hit him a way that the english man could not describe.

“You took me by surprise” he said, passing one of his hands through his beard, thinking very seriously about what he should do. Did he want you? Yes, since the very moment he set eyes on you. Would it affect the alliance? Perhaps. Was a fuck worth that risk? That, was the question he did not have yet an answer to. “Why do you think that I want to lay with you?” Aethelwulf decided to follow this path, narrowing his eyes and trying to figure out your true intentions.

You chuckled as Athelstan translated those words, seeming entertained by what was going on. The unexpected question amused you, that was a sure thing.

“Oh, I am sorry, prince. If I was wrong to assume such thing, I will find someone else to fulfill my desires. Perhaps one of your men will like to take me” you turned around and as Athelstan translated your words almost simultaneously with your talking, when you started to walk away Aethelwulf had already understood all you had just said.

“Wait” he said quickly, and that made you turn around even though you did not know what it meant. It might have been the urgent tone of his voice, that made you stop on your tracks. With their eyes meeting again, he bit his lower lip for a second because of what he was about to do. He had found out the answer to the previous unanswered question. Yes, a fuck with you was worth the risk of dooming that alliance. “I do desire to lay with you. But I have a wife. Adultery is a sin”

Athelstan's voice rolled out of his tongue in norse again and as soon as he fell silent again, you took steps forward until your body was almost touching the prince's. From that close distance, you raised one of your hands and runned your fingers through the fabric of his shirt.

“You, Christians, always denying yourselves pleasure for the sake of boundaries” your hand went up and you softly touched his lips with your fingertips. Your eyes were darker with desire. “Your wife is not here, prince Aethelwulf. I am. As in the morning our paths will be split, I am sure your God could look away for just one night”

Aethelwulf breathed heavily against the fingers touching his mouth, the words Athelstan just said in english making him feel a shiver run down his spine. Could that be true? Could God really look away for one night? Well, he would probably find out soon.

“Athelstan, leave us” the prince said, getting your hand away from his mouth as he occupied himself with feeling the softness of your skin with his own fingertips.

“Yes, my Lord” the munk seemed more than happy to obey and turned around to do as he was told.

“First, please Athelstan, ask him if he needs his father's permission to fuck me” you said every word slowly, with small pauses. Through the whole process, you could feel the fierceness of the prince's eyes locked on your own lips.

“Leave us” Aethelwulf repeated in a growl after the words were translated. As soon as the priest got out and closed the door behind him, one of his hands grabbed your hair and he smashed your lips together, too hungry to wait.

You whimpered against his mouth, your own hands pulling at his short hair, even more firmly when his other hand circled your waist, clearly desperate to get rid of your clothes. You stumbled together to the bed, lips never stopped touching until he was on top of you above the matress and the sheets.

There, you did not need words to communicate. Your eyes, said everything that needed to be said. When later your bare skins touched and he entered your body, words were also not needed.

Moans, did not need translation.

#imagine #x reader #fanfic #imagines #aethelwulf fanfic #aethelwulf imagine #aethelwulf x reader #aethelwulf #history vikings #vikings fanfic #vikings imagine #vikings #vikings one shot #one shot #prince Aethelwulf imagine #prince aethelwulf

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irailleth-archive · 7 years

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I'm guessing BPD is short for Borderline Personnality Disorder ? Didn't know the acronym in english. How does it manifest for you ? Cause I kinda self diagnosed it in me (yeah I know I shouldn't so I don't take it too seriously) but I figured it would be impossible for my friends to live a normal life if they were experiencing life the way I do.

hi hi! Yeah it stands for Borderline Personality DisorderI’m gonna put it under a cut for ya bc it’s a bit long ^^”

**DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY A PROFESSIONAL OR ANYTHING. THIS IS FROM /MY/ PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH BPD AND I HAVE SPENT MORE THAN A YEAR ACTIVELY RESEARCHING ABOUT IT AND DOING A CHECKLIST OF THE CRITERIA FOR HAVING BPD.

First of all, there’s no problem with self-dx !! So long as you do your research and all that stuff (I have a bpd tag so you can check that out. There is also a criteria for it if you scroll a bit down in the first page so you can do a checklist ig) Though I’ve heard from a few ppl that it’s hard to get a proffessional dx if you’re under 18 due to your hormones and you still growing and your body changing or smth like that :///

Okay, so now to the important bit. My own BPD manifests itself in extremely intense emotions (ex: for a normal person, smth like getting cut in line for smth would just annoy them in a kind of minor way. For me I would absolutely scowl at the person and mutter things under my breath [like how I want smth bad to happen to them. This can be extreme in thoughts like ‘I hope they get mugged’ or ‘I hope they lose (insert important item here) and they have a shitty day’]. Same goes for when I get sad, happy, etc etc) [[**I’m probably gonna get shit on for this for having these thoughts so I’m just gonna say now that once I manage to calm down I apologize to the person in my head (even if I’m not near them anymore) and scold myself for having such thoughts. I TRY to not be a bad person and will always do my best to be nice to everyone I meet. I never act out on these thoughts to anyone and if I am angry the worst I can do is be passive-aggressive towards the person I am currently talking to (most likely a friend. If it is a stranger or acquiantance I will try my best to be polite)]]

Another way is me having my fp (favorite person) who is my girlfriend. Now before her I didn’t exactly have an fp and my last fp was my ex-datemate so for me, having an fp is usually the person who I’m dating. With me having an fp, for me it means I near constantly want their attention and validation and praise. I want them to talk to me and when they’re happy I’m very happy! But when they don’t respond for some time or sound monotone or uninterested I feel like they hate me and don’t want me around anymore. (Which is not true!! They are either busy or very tired/not okay/etc !!) My fp is like my entire world. I love them so much I would quite literally die for them.

Another thing is Black/White emotions/thinking. Now this is probably one of the more common ones you might have heard of. For me my black/white thinking mostly comes from my black/white emotions. To elaborate if someone who I consider a close friend does something and it hurts/upsets/annoys/etc. me to a great degree my entire mindset will shift and I will absolutely HATE them but even then I try to rationalize it and tell myself valid and completely rational reasons to not feel this upset/angry towards them. But most of the time it never really works bc my emotions are just too intense and strong and the best course of action here is to ask for some space so you don’t blow up in that persons face (I have neglected asking for space which resulted in me lashing out sometimes ://)

And speaking for b/w emotions, here comes my favorite part! (this is pure sarcasm. It’s absolute hell and I hate it) Splitting!! There’s a bpd masterpost in my bpd tag that talks about splitting and different ways but for me, my splitting comes in at angry splitting (anger has become my dominant emotion for when i get upset :”(( it’s not good and needs to be controlled so if you have a problem with it too try looking up solutions for trying to ease it a bit). I’m not quite sure how to describe my splitting but it’s kind of like... I’m angry at this person but I still want to talk to them but at the same time I kind of want to ignore them and just cut them off from myself so :/// I also!! recently noticed I split on myself as well !! It’s very hard to describe since I noticed it recently but it is a thing that happens w ppl who have BPD/symp of BPDRelationship Object Permanence. Now this one’s a HUGE fucking bitch to deal with, especially if you have a partner. It basically means ppl w BPD LACK this certain trait where we have a hard time understanding that our relationship (whether it be romantic or platonic) is still there even if that person doesn’t constantly reassure us that it is there. Which sucks bc then we’ll have to ask the person if they still love/like us so we get some validation and reassurance. This most especially happens with me and gf so.. it sucks.

Other ways is me having some kind of level of distrust with certain ppl (like friends) bc I’m afraid to ask them to give me reassurance that we’re still good and they like me, I WANT attention from my friends but I DON’T want to ask for it because I’ll feel manipulative/abusive (same goes for my gf), my mindset can go from ‘I’m the fucking best. I’m better than you I am a king a god I will Shatter all of you’ to ‘I’m the fucking worst i’m so disgusting and ugly why do I even have friends I’m complete shit they should just tell me to fuck off’, Me being apathetic to a lot of things even though I don’t want to be apathetic to it, there’s a whole bunch more but basically a lot of what’s in my bpd tag applies to me. Especially me having a HUGE fear that I’m being manipulative/abusive to my friends, and especially my girlfriend (at one point, before we were dating, I think I was rapidly apologizing to them for manipulating them into thinking I was a good person while I was having a breakdown so... yeah).

I hope this helps you a little bit!! If you have anymore specific questions you want to ask me just hmu!! (It might be better if you go off anon so we could keep our convo private :0c )

#hawke answers #bpd #mental illness #like i said all of this is from personal experience and should not be taken from a professional viewpoint #if you can possibly be given a professional diagnosis i say go for it #Anonymous

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noona-la-la-la · 7 years

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You're completely correct. Korean or any foreign beauty standards generally apply to that race or nationality. I think a lot of poc fans get really upset when they hear their fav say they like someone with fair skin but it generally refers to Korean girls. Eg. Rapmon says his ideal type is fair skin but he also loves Rihanna. She's not Korean so the standards don't apply to her if that makes sense. So foreign fans really shouldn't stress so much about ideal types because they're not for you

ALSO

Sometimes I get annoyed when i-fans get mad at idols for being colorist as if we dont do it in the west. Like if they make fun of their member for their dark skin or point it out they’re problematic and they need to apologise and they’re rude offensive people. And they get mad when companies whitewash photos. But Im constantly made fun of for my pale skin. People always point it out and tell me I need to tan and get darker and celebs always have their skin tanner in photos. Whats the difference?

I feel like answering these asks is a potential bomb because a lot of people have justifiably strong feelings about this subject. But I guess I haven’t backed down from other controversial topics, so here we go…

I do think that a lot of i-fans forget that they are not part of the Korean culture and that they are reading their idols’ words through a translation, which usually means that a lot of the cultural context and subtlety is lost and/or misunderstood. Instead, fans will view things that are said and done through their own culturally influenced understanding of the world and through their own feelings on a subject without fully considering how the things that are said or done sound to a Korean person living in Korea and speaking the Korean language. This is exacerbated when the topic is something that people feel passionately about or have strong opinions on how it has affected their personal life. I think discussion regarding skin tone often falls into this category.

HOWEVER, I also think that calling someone ugly or criticizing their appearance or showing preference for someone based solely on their skin tone is an absolutely shitty thing to do, regardless of culture. I can try to understand that Korea is pretty homogeneous and that they have clearly defined standards for beauty, that includes skin tone, and that a Korean person being raised in that environment will likely say they prefer pale skin without ever thinking of how that feels to someone with slightly darker skin and much less about what that would sound like to someone from African or Indian or Southeast Asian descent. It doesn’t make it okay – but it doesn’t mean our first response should be to burn them at the stake either.

I don’t like the white washing of photos that Korean fans will do. I also don’t like the darkening of photos that i-fans will do because it’s often not an accurate representation of the idol’s appearance either. Overall, I wish everybody would put the photoshop away and just accept people’s looks for what they are – that includes professional photo shopping. Leave the skin tone alone. Also stop lengthening legs. Or making people thinner. All of it – I wish it would stop. Unfortunately, I’m not Queen of the Universe and no one is going to stop because I said so, but I’ll keep up the mantra of body acceptance regardless.

To that last anon – I’m a white woman of the ultra-pale variety. I have been criticized by my mother for being too pale, mocked by classmates, complete strangers of the street have made comments. When I was younger, there was more than one occasion when total strangers have touched my legs to see whether or not that was my skin color or if I was wearing sheer white nylons or something. I have argued with so many cosmetics sales people about foundation choices and have people look at me like I’m insane that I don’t want to buy a bronzer. Honestly, when I go to a makeup counter or want a makeover – I usually ask for the darkest skinned black woman at the counter for assistance. I’ve learned that people whose own coloring is at the farther end of the spectrum have a better understanding of what I’m looking for, even if their skin coloring is as far away from my coloring as is possible. Things for people like us are getting a little better. There are more celebrities that are super pale and way more makeup choices available so we don’t always look like we have that weird orange glow that happens when you wear a foundation that is too dark.

But I also know that while everything I just wrote about is very frustrating, I endure those frustrations in the context of still being part of the privileged race in my country. I don’t have to deal with colorism AND full-on racism. Also, I don’t live in a society that publicly and openly discriminates against me because of my skin tone. Some individuals do or say hurtful or annoying things – but I don’t ever feel like I won’t be selected for a job or that people will avoid socializing with me because of my paleness – which is a real concern for some darker skinned people. So I can understand why some i-fans respond so vehemently and react so quickly – even if I still think that we’d be better off stepping back and considering the context before responding to what an idol says.

#advice and opinions #Anonymous #beauty standards

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