#shit happens y'know
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imagining how messy the luci geist dating reveal was [mostly for dan lets be real, he was having a mental breakdown]
dan was already upset when luci told him he was dating someone but refused to introduce them, a fact he vented about to bianca once they started seeing each other. only to end up feeling very vindicated when luci and his mystery partner broke up, of course he ended up feeling bad about how happy he felt considering how completely heartbroken luci was afterwards. it went on like that for a few months with dan comforting luci while still being kinda mad luci refused to really actually talk about who he was even dating.
then one day geist shows up at his doorstep out of nowhere pleading their case cause they are currently getting framed for murder and dan is the only detective they trust. dan is maybe willing to listen until luci walks in, sees geist, and immediately starts bawling. geist reveals why "wait, he never told you? we dated." dan is now mad a both geist for dating the man he's been in love with for practically his whole life and at luci for dating the fucking thief he's been trying to catch for over a year now. then the other thieves show up to try and fix whatever the hell is going on.
but then dan sees bianca, his girlfriend, there. who is apparently also a thief and never told him. but more importantly! she knew that geist was the one who was dating and subsequently broke luci's heart and didn't tell him
to say the least the fact that dan ever managed to end up helping geist with the whole framed for murder thing at all is a miracle, dan is a saint
#dan is getting a lot of love from me recently and by that i mean i'm kinda torturing him#in my defense it's so easy#still need to make a post explaining how the hell dan and bianca ended up dating#but i needed to torture him first#shout out to angie and adam though they were completely innocent in their affair#anyways i think the fact geist had genuinely no idea luci was keeping them a secret from dan#or at least assumed he told him after the breakup#also think they didn't have any idea that dan was in love with luci#i know geist is swearing after dating after this whole mess#not their fault that the guy they dated kinda just for information [and thinking he was hot] got super obsessed with them#and had a best friend in love with him that they pissed off#shit happens y'know#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#geist ii [oc]#daniel brown [oc]#luci [oc]#snow [oc]#<- still need to change her thief name#snow just doesn't fit the theme#i was thinking smth related to mary maybe? maybe i could just call her merry? but idk
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the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.
(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)
is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.
(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)
on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.
#eliot#eliot spencer#orig#further discussion in further tags#I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments#but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way#I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original.#but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far#the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know?#the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time#doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically.#the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating#doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her#though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then#and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings#perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here.#which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age#arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were.#there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now
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Anyone else feel sick over what happened to Jason in #138? I usually don't feel protective over Jason unless we're talking about Robin!Jason, but in this case, stay away from him!! Don't touch him!! Don't talk to him!! Don't even look at him!! Like his personality/body chemistry was literally altered against his will?? That is sooo...
#i know jason is aware that bruce isn't himself (and bruce even talks about zur. so y'know. jason can put the pieces of the puzzle together)#but if i was jason and this shit happened to me--i would simply not be able to trust bruce again#bc even though this personality isn't bruce--jason will still always associate bruce w this fucked up horror show#and it's like ''what if zur is still w bruce and fucks with my body chemistry again??'' like nahhh that association would be strong#Jason Todd#Batman 138
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#mega gallade#didn't forget! i'm sure i'm gonna get asks about this one but last time i got asks about a mega (mega lucario) it happened while i was#in class and i couldn't update it until i got home. i shoved that one in the queue with mere MINUTES to spare‚ i swear#but this one i remembered. because of how many of you reminded me about mega lucario yesterday. which yes that was yesterday#as of me queuing this up. this must always be confusing when i reference dates in the tags 'cause you see this shit like two weeks later bu#i mean. y'know#i like to have a lot in the queue for instances like july. when i went to california and couldn't queue any up for a few days#a nice backlog. a safety net‚ if you will
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One thing I really enjoy about transition is when the changes in hormones slow down...
It feels like I am a house settling, shifting ever-so-slightly, and becoming one with this new foundation.
I don't have a "typical" body, but so do the other guys in my family. I look like them now. I've been told I looked like my father when he was a teenager, and I feel as though I am in the mentality I need to be in.
So many people are excited when they get all these new changes all at once, and then they might become disappointed when their second puberty starts to slow down, but I find I am the opposite. I am so much more at peace than I was before, and that's saying something when I was at peace a month into my changes.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#i feel like my experiences are 'atypical' but like... my family is kinda that way#like the guys in my family have the same-ish body type i do so i haven't always been dysphoric about it#i was mostly dysphoric about the fact i don't and can't fit into the 'typical male' archetype#but like... my dad doesn't fit into that at all and nobody gives him shit for it so hey what do i have to contend with#i'm getting close to the three-year mark and from my observations that tends to be where your changes do still happen...#...but it isn't always as quick/intense as it once was. your body tends to settle down y'know? that's where i feel i'm at#like i'd appreciate more body hair on my stomach and my mustache kurtis but that could take a bit and that's okay#it takes years for a cis man with testosterone YEARS for his hair to mature sometimes#and tbh i think we should celebrate that. you are a fine wine; you will only become fuller and richer as time goes on#you'll mature into a full-bodied wine that lingers on your tongue and leaves you craving more#alright i'm done with the wine metaphor because i only know so little about wine and alcohol 👍
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btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.
it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'
and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.
and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.
like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.
hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.
#qsmp#q!phil#LIKE. does anyone else think this! i genuinely believe its like one of the major#traits of his character i feel like u can trace it through Everything.#the man lives with the constant knowledge that sometimes all it takes is a tempting ravine and a badly timed creeper to end a life#whether that life belongs to a stranger or someone you love more than anything else in the world#you COULD rage against that. you could scream and shout and tear your hair out and grieve for the futility of it all#but what does that change? the days march on. death waits either way#and that's not to say he's a laizesfair kind of guy. anyone who's seen him stress out abt chayanne's risk taking + freak out#whenever his kids don't have enough autofeed grist can see that he cares DEEPLY. which resolves into his very distinctive#defensive + protective playstyle. the goal is not to win the fight the goal is to *survive* the fight etc#but the only way that mindset doesn't spill out into unchecked paranoia + complete agoraphobia is with acceptance#'shit happens: the philza minecraft story'#i also think it even manifests in the nightmare sequence w his last words to chayanne? 'they didn't want us to live. we were never supposed#to survive' or whatever the exact wording was#he is FURIOUS and deeply hurt and sad abt the deaths he says so explicitly later#but at the time the first thing he reaches for is. exhausted acceptance. it wasn't their fault. it wasn't his fault. they did their best.#they could only do so much in the face of the federation's Overwhelming Hostility. y'know?#mine
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favourite twdg villain?
I'm a fond enjoyer of the St. John's as villains. I don't know if they're my favorite just because they're only in one episode, but I love the concept of this family almost immediately jumping into cannibalism toward the start of the outbreak, dealing in human flesh to bandits, and casually feeding this group their friend's legs.
Like... what the hell was this family like before the outbreak that all three of them were like, "Hey now listen... nothing should go to waste, the dead are eating people so why shouldn't we? We gotta survive and in our defense, we only target those who were gonna die anyway... like y'all."
Dude, Mark was shot in this shoulder with an arrow. He wasn't going to die from that injury. It's so fucked that these seemingly friendly people took the group into their home and then fed them Mark's legs.
If we take the idea that everyone is infected and have the capacity within themselves to become walkers, to become monsters, then the St. John's were infected long before the outbreak, y'know? Not literally, but something was wrong with them and the outbreak just further spread that infection and changed them.
But again, are they my favorite? I dunno if I can say that since I have a lot more appreciation for Lily now. Yeah, some of her writing gets a little wonky in ep3 of TFS when she goes on her monologues and shit, but y'know what? I'm into it.
You have to remember who we're talking about and the fact that she's the antagonist; Lily isn't some anti-hero in TFS who secretly has a heart of gold that's brought to light because she reunited with Clementine... she's a fucked up woman who did fucked up things in the name of survival. She's full of rot now. She sees kidnapping children and turning them into soldiers to protect her home as a means to an end, but she doesn't actually give a shit about the people she's taking. They aren't people to her, they're as the episode title suggests, toys in her game. The only one she sees as a person is Clementine, and while that makes her hesitate at first, she sees Clementine's a prize to bring back.
She remembers what happened in S1; her father had a heart attack and as she tried to save him, Kenny smashed his face in with a saltlick and then expected Lily to just stand up and help him get back to his family because "he did what he had to, he made the hard choice." Yes, Larry was a piece of shit. No one liked him, and you can even question Lily on him and she'll tell you that he has a lot of pain. Yes, it makes him an asshole, but he's still her dad and he's all she has. I mean... the simplification is daddy issues, but in all seriousness, I don't doubt for a second that many of Lily's issues stem from Larry being a shitty father to her.
Then everyone thought she was losing it when she insisted there was a traitor in the group, which she was right about, but she was unstable. She was unwell, but how do you help someone like that when you don't have training to go about it? Then Lily ends up killing either Carley or Doug and the group turns on her, and either she's left behind or she steals the van and runs away.
Then we don't know what the hell happened to her until we see her again in TFS, but like... a lone woman with decay festering inside of her joining the delta? Exposing her to their methods? I mean, what else did she have to lose? She had nothing, she lost everything, and she has a lot of issues. Survival is easy when you're numb, when you don't care about the individual; they're all just cogs churning to make the system run, and if a piece doesn't cooperate, you get rid of it and find a new one.
Plus I think there's something to say about Lily not wanting to be perceived as weak again. That whole display she put on in the cells? Telling the story of what happened to Minerva and Sophie? I get the criticism that it feels like Lily did a 180 between episodes but like... yeah dude, because it's a performance. It's not just her and Clementine anymore. It's a display of power and authority. She's playing the part and thriving in it as she ensures everyone else is terrified of her.
But then when Clementine and AJ get the upper hand? Again, she's not afraid to play up the pleading to earn enough sympathy to spare her- hell, just to let their guard down enough to strike and get the upper hand again. I mean, she's got nothing else to lose, right? If she doesn't go for it, she'll be killed and sure, you can kill her anyway but at least she tried.
Honestly, I look at Lily in TFS and still see that scared little girl playing the tough bitch, just like Carley said in S1. It's just now escalated from "tough bitch" to a downright vile person. She's so... lost? I suppose? Lost within herself and the monstrous means she's taken to survive.
I get the criticisms of how she was used in TFS, but for me, it's like when people complain about Minerva not getting the redemption arc she supposedly should've gotten, y'know? There's no saving her. Lily was never on our side, and there was no getting her on our side. She wasn't ever going to redeem herself. Even if you spare her and she drifts away on her raft, can someone like her actually find redemption? Or will she just find another group that'll feed into her rot?
Truly, I say let her be horrid. Let her be the piece of shit villain with a few fleeting moments of humanity. Let her drown in the blood she's spilled.
#asks#twdg lily#twdg andy st john#twdg danny st john#twdg brenda st john#twdg clementine#twdg minerva#twdg mark#twdg larry#twdg kenny#i know i used to complain about lily in tfs a lot years ago but past cj complained about everything tbh sksksks#now i'm just like babe lily's interesting as shit like not every villain needs a redemption arc just because you think they're hot#and don't wanna feel bad or because you want her to be like she was in s1 when she was sympathetic like... it's been years#that's like being mad that clementine isn't the same person as she was in s1... the difference is we got to see clementine grow#but what happened to lily is a mystery... but that doesn't mean she didn't change especially for the worst#i dunno sometimes i look at lady antagonists in media and then look at people's reactions and i'm like.......... hmmmm#c'mon now- if kenny came back in tfs the same exact way then y'all would be foaming at the mouth insisting he's complex#and morally grey and he's just really sad about his family dying and really he's a sad widdle meow meow but also the best villain#who should be spared because he always cared about clementine and aj and he's just traumatized and sad and amazing unlike OTHERS#like.................... okay sure mmhmmmm#side note but the worst thing about kenny is the fact that he IS a brilliantly written character but his stans tend to just be the worst#anyway i like lily she's a great tfs antagonist like i recognize there are some weak spots and i wish she has more of a presence in ep4#if she lived but y'know... gotta make room for minerva being the final bridge boss so... yeah
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Day 113 | id in alt
It's Fushiguro's fault that he does it every five seconds. He lives and breathes mahoraga.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#fushiguro megumi#tokyo trio#low effort Fushiguro makes a COMEBACK#everyone knows he does that everyone just stares at him like a freak#in the middle of posting this i had to draw CRAZY Kugisaki n maki it was INSANE#ive been writing some stuff and i will continue to write because i love staring at Kugisaki's forehead#i hope the bantu knots look good#im experimenting with hairstyles bc i fuckin LOVE that shit#also picking up#Kugisaki isn't dismissive of Mai's struggle and pain its just that Mai is a bitch and uses the struggle as an excuse to harm others#she has canonly seen people get ostracized i mean her town was XENOPHOBIC AS FUCK#Kugisaki wasn't liked at all either she most likely fought just about everyone. only reason the townspeople liked fumi was because she was#wasn't like Kugisaki because Kugisaki fought back 10 times harder plus the whole murder thing y'know it happens#shes wack like that#she understand Mai and Maki so much and is low-key a hypocrite for judging mai but i think she knows that shes extremely self aware#probably the most self aware first year btw#this is some life tips from yours truly to the people that read these tags#do NOT argue with a political science major on human morality they will piss you the fuck off#i did. i ended up causin them to leave a chat because i was so mad they called something heinous “tame”#it happens.#unfortunately
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still can’t honestly wrap my head around the fact the new rayllum softness is Real and near the beginning of the season. like. AAH. AAAH
#dragons rambles#rayllum#rayllum fandom#it's giving s3 rayllum y'know?#but also like the angst of s2 and s4 rayllum and tentativeness of s1 rayllum#like i already knew s5 was probs gonna end up being my favourite season but if certain plot shit happens then like#YEAH UR THE FAVE GOOD FOR U BOOK 5 OCEAN. YOU DID IT
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Watching Mavis contemplate the idea of herself possibly being on the path to becoming an alcoholic is strangely cathartic after how she treated me for being an alcoholic. I'd say I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through on my worst enemy, and that's mostly true. I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through in full on my worst enemy.
So I hope her recovery goes quick. But I also hope it sucks. I hope she gets withdrawals that she recovers from, but I hope she suffers the fevers and the chills and the cramps and the cravings and the agony. I hope she learns a lesson in how she enables and encourages the way society treats the struggling, the less fortunate, the downtrodden, the traumatised, the addicted.
I hope she learns something from this and never speculates or utters another fucking word about anyone else's coping habits or addictions. I hope she learns to stay in her fucking lane and not judge people for the methods they use to cope.
I hope she comes away with the knowledge of what her own medicine tastes like, and I hope it's bitter.
#mavisposting#tacking on that you wouldn't be having cravings for alcohol after only one drink the day before so she's defo lying for sympathy points#so y'know. as always. manipulative#i do genuinely hope she gets better if she is falling into addiction tho (which she's not because she's a liar)#but i also hope it sucks the whole fucking time she's getting better (which she won't because she's a liar)#i hope her withdrawals are short but also the worst thing that's ever happened to her#even if it's just one day of withdrawals. i hope she gets all the shit i coped with for weeks when i went cold turkey#i hope she learns how fucking hard it is and she never says another cruel word to or about addicts of any sort#i don't care if i sound cruel atp. it's 12am. i'm sleepy. i'm tired of the world's cruelty#and i'm especially tired of her woe-is-me manipulative lying bullshit#the utter fucking audacity she has to lie about this shit after everything she said about my alcoholism and drug use#she can get fucked royally actually. fuck her. i don't care. genuinely one of the worst people i've ever met and that's saying something
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Okay I know it's not guaranteed by any means, and it's common enough for reds to survive a good while after turning red, but wouldn't it be funny if Martyn were to also be the first out of the game in Secret Life? The canary curse broken by the previous winner because the Watchers are just that done with Martyn's shit by now or whatever
#also like. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't think anyone has so far managed to get a full like#first to yellow first to red and first out -series#like jimmy's the first out every time but i don't think he's ever been the first to lose each of his lives#so it'd be sorta funny from that perspective too to see martyn manage the full set y'know?#and again. i recognize it's not necessarily gonna happen. but i don't think it's that unlikely either#both from what i've observed of martyn's episodes and from what i think i've seen him say himself#i think the no heart regeneration thing is fucking him over in this one because his typical style of play is so reckless#like if you think back. in other games plenty of times he's survived shit with just a few hearts and been able to hide somewhere to heal#now those hearts are just gone until he can complete his task/unless someone gifts him (and even then they might not cover all his lost one#so like it's not guaranteed. maybe martin will now learn to be cautious because he has enough to lose#but then again it is possible that he just doesn't and has bad enough luck that he's out first#martyn inthelittlewood#trafficblr#secret life
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absolutely floored i haven't committed to writing any luzeni until now. jigzeni really throttled my brainstem for that long huh. i mean don't get me wrong it still is, but now lupin's weaseling his way in there, as he tends to do, the little freak
anyways i've got the ungodly urge to read all of the luzeni ao3 fics that've trashed my psyche to get in the right mindset for this twine. we're whippin' out the one that made me cry fam i'm SERIOUS about this
i want these two in each others ribcages. emotionally. to the nth degree
#rubbing my hands together. doin a little dance#zenigata's gonna make CHOICES#and lupin's gonna NEED him to make choices or he'll DIE (sorta. i cant explain without spoiling everything smh)#this twine's gonna be a sort of proto-pilot post for what ive been calling the “curse au” bc the Perfect Name hasnt popped into my brain ye#all the Spooky/Bad Stuff already happened and the gang's already-- uh-- different? so we can skip right to how they 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 about it y'know#and that's totally not because i fumbled the How It Happened already haha. no sir#we're gonna get real conceptual n shit. it'll be great. maybe.#twine#lupin iii
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I got a procrastination problem ugh anyway I cleaned out my ask box, if you asked for a request and I didn't draw it just send it again cause I need to start clean
#It's not like i didnt want to draw it i just y'know#Never got to it#Shit happens#Anyway if you remember what it was just ask again LMAOOO#talking nonsense
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The normalization of misogyny to the point that you are expected to self-censor/censor anything related to what people think of as "women's health" is so fucking infuriating.
Like, not only is it infantilizing as hell to be forced to couch everything you say in ~flowery, feminine language~ it also fucks up people's perspective about what healthcare for women* looks like. Suddenly, the only part of women's healthcare that matters isn't related to the woman, it's related to how she can be a woman of Good Breeding.
Women's healthcare matters - not because it might affect if they can be barefoot and pregnant but because these women are people. Women are inseparable from humanity.
#feminism#misogyny#misogyny tw#also like it makes being trans a fucking warzone#trans liberation 🤝 women's liberation#i'm still reeling from this time i was buying diphenhydramine and the ~feminine multivitamin~ was called hoo-ha or something to that affect#like... if i were a woman trying to buy vitamins i would be fucking insulted#like why are we calling normal human body parts by eldritch summoning chants#i dunno it's pretty harrowing when your humanity and body is locked away behind a prison of fear and hatred#(speaking as a trans man it fucking infuriates me when my manhood is treated that way - and it is often the case)#it just makes me feral every single time i see that shit y'know#and fostering that shame within other people is fucking awful#also if people want to use this to be anti-trans: you are an ouroboros#you are eating yourself whole with the hope that you can be liberated without including those you want eradicated#trans right do not happen without women's rights and vice versa 👍
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I know Ashton and Orym are less likely especially with the more popular ships, but I loved that Ash looked at Orym and then called them all family. It does feel like they're pining
yeah it was very cute ;w;
it's gonna break my heart if ashton has these one-sided feelings :(
trying to remember that nothing is set in stone and there are so many episodes for things to develop on orym's end
#asks#anon#i'm maybe....a lil bitter#but popularity doesn't mean shit. beau/jester was like insanely popular and it did not happen.#so y'know. maybe.#can i win just this one time i have never had the ships i'm into win#not vex/leth. not beau/jester.#and more#idk i also didn't personally see orym taking the poster as a dor/ym moment...cause opal & dariax are on that poster too#idk...orym is def pining after dorian i am not blind to it but i kinda hope he develops feelings for ashton too :(#i mean caleb was pining hard for jester the entire campaign but also fell for essek so y'know...maybe...#idk man! i'm just a lil sad abt it is all#ashton: we look so much like a couple in this. orym: a couple of bestiesss
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I can't believe we waited 7 seasons for Buck to kiss a man and it wasn't even the person he literally legally shares a kid with
#buddie#911#911 spoilers#i mean look I'm still happy it happened at all#and im still gonna support it cause I'm all for gay awakenings and buck deserves this shit so much cause clearly the girls weren't working#plus tommy seems great and i like him way better than most of the girls already (except maybe abby)#but all that said that doesn't mean im gonna support it with my full chest like i would buddie if it had actually happened#(i always kinda got the sense that ryan maybe wasn't fully comfortable playing a queer role where oliver was though#so if this is the best we get I'll take it)#at the end of the day i just want buck to be happy and with someone who truly cares about him who he can be his full self with#and if tommy turns out to be that person then i can absolutely grow to love him (almost) as much as i do eddie#(im still prob always gonna be a lil salty about buddie and what could've been but c'est la vie)#eta: coming back here to add that after watching some bts content that i had prev not seen i am now re-evaluating my stance on ryan lol#homeboy absolutely wants to kiss oliver. but y'know just like. for art.#bisexual buck
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