#she was also communicating with me through tumblr but not directly to me; vaguely about me with her two teenage daughters | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

holyguardian · 2 years

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[ GET TO KNOW YOUR WRITING PARTNER! ]

Knowing your writing partners can potentially make writing together a lot easier. Repost, don’t reblog.

NAME: Muddy.

PRONOUNS: She/her.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Do not perceive me. In all seriousness though, I am terrible with ongoing conversation unless I am in a group chat setting like Discord with a handful of others typing. Small RP hubs where it’s OOC chat and spitballing ideas, chilling, talking about life stuff, hobbies, desires for writing etc. otherwise I’m a fucking gremlin and ANYONE WHO HAS TRIED TO TALK TO ME knows I disappear into my hovel. I’m not good at one-on-one chat that’s purely character or plot-based.

NAME OF MUSE(S): Aerith Gainsborough (here), Genesis Rhapsodos (@firxga), Ariadne Nihilis OC (@rebelichor), Jason Kolchek / Miller Park OC / Millie Park OC (@returnedtoashes).

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG: I have been on Tumblr roleplaying since 2015, however my roleplaying journey began when I was 14 years old (teen chat rooms ((A/S/L anyone)) -> IMVU forums -> MSN messenger -> AIM -> Skype -> Tumblr -> Line -> Discord -> back to Tumblr). Before all of this little-Muddy was playing tabletop games and acting out stories.

BEST EXPERIENCE: I found my best friend through Tumblr roleplay. Skit and I never would have met if not for a chance recommendation from a mutual. This was when I didn’t know how the website worked, wasn’t tagging, was on a default theme, used awful big images and was hitting a lot of walls because there isn’t a how-to guide to get into the Tumblr bubble. Skit took me in at my worst (how was I not an embarrassment to type with my god) and deserves the very best for helping me in so many ways.

RP PET PEEVES: Let me preface this with I know everyone has limited spoons, and this has nothing to do with slowness or needing to ease thread load, this is directly related to interest not being communicated. Going hard on my OC’s with liking starters or grabbing opportunities from mutuals in general and getting dropped after 1 reply or no returned interest is more disheartening than a peeve, however it’s worth noting because once that happens I’m more likely to back off with any of my canon characters. Perhaps that is a little petty but I much prefer to be told ‘actually, I don’t think our characters will fit’ outright than having to smack into a wall several times to get the message, whereas my canons can walk in 5 months late with starbucks and a flimsy excuse but be fine. TL;DR: if my OC is on struggle street with a blog, but my canon character is cruising, of course I notice.

MUSE PREFERENCES FOR ANGST / FLUFF / SMUT: ‘All’ for most of my muses. Ariadne is more adventure, horror or occult themed.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Plots. Having a vague idea and running with it, throwing bumps in the road or outright breaking the road.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Nice middle ground. I think 4 paragraphs is a happy spot for me, 2 I feel like I’m not contributing enough and once I’m leaning more into 8 paragraphs I lose motivation and spoons quickly because writing actually takes a lot of focus for me.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: When it is completely quiet. I cannot write or even brainstorm when there is background noise. That tends to fall into night time, but then I also battle with feeling sleepy and not having the energy to.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE: I wish I were so sassy. No, I think I have a dumb sense of humour and am way too gamer-nerd and relaxed to really relate to any of my characters like that.

TAGGED BY: @noblehcart

TAGGING: @ceaselxss @enokvirkow @fraxcxccl @hautevaux @heavensfists @hyperionfated @lightwithinthenightsky @omnilimit @ravusnightblossom @reiivusu @stingslikeabee @talesfantastic @warofthebeasts @wiintereyes @yumetohokori

#prompt #out of flowers

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thefirstknife · 3 years

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you have a personal vendetta against other blogs bc you keep tagging them asking why they're not talking about this or that issue. essentially, you're policing them about what they should or shouldn't post about. for the record, this isn't a jem defense ask, and you dismissing criticism about your behavior by saying "you sound like someone who only reads jem's blog" is incredibly disrespectful yikes.

I only ever tagged Jem, once. I replied once before to an already existing post, but that's about it. No clue which other blogs you're talking about as being tagged out of the blue by me.

I wondered about Jem in particular because she vagued about the drama and called everyone performative activists who are dogpiling an artist for woke points and I found that very strange because I've seen Jem telling people they're ableist and sexist if they're talking about a theory about Osiris.

No idea how to make this as clear as possible, but I'll give it a try, under the cut because long:

Jem said that certain fandom behaviour is ableist and sexist, which means that Jem understands that fandom behaviour about certain characters can be harmful. She posted about this, called people out as being sexist and ableist and also noted that if Bungie goes with that theory, she will support dogpiling the devs about being sexist and ableist.

Yesterday we discovered whitewashed art and pointed it out, but there's been an incredible amount of backlash saying we're all armchair activists posting for woke points by calling out whitewashing.

What's the difference? Why is Jem acting like her takes are legitimate activism, but other takes are just "hashtage woke"? Why is calling out whitewashing not a legitimate fandom issue to her?

Whitewashing is a legitimate issue in fandom and online spaces in general. It should be pointed out. It should also be noted that it can happen accidentally and that we should give the artist the benefit of the doubt to fix the mistake. Which I've done and I'm still willing to do.

You're absolutely only taking this from Jem's side and her post, which she thought I wouldn't be able to see due to me being blocked, but I can see it. Which is why I can tell that you're coming from her post.

This incident is documented here. As stated, Jem used a derogatory term. Jem was notified about using a derogatory term by another user, she DELETED their warning and made a separate post to apologise for using a derogatory term. I find that pretty hashtag woke (to use Jem's terminology) to appear better in other people's eyes instead of replying directly to the user who pointed a derogatory term out and apologising directly.

Pot calling the kettle black (instead I do actually apologise to people directly, I don't delete their replies to make myself look better). I'm glad she apologised for using the term, that's good no matter what and I respect it. I don't respect framing the apology in this way. I don't respect deleting a comment from the person who pointed the derogatory term out, ignoring that person and making a separate post without crediting someone who called you out.

It doesn't help that the same person is the one who pointed out whitewashing and has been getting transphobic attacks from the very people who are reblogging and supporting Jem's post. Basically, Jem evidently does not want to be called out on her mistakes and does not want to acknowledge them.

I also want to address the following:

Nice gatekeeping language with the "ever since you got here." It seems to me that before I got here, some people in the fandom were never challenged on their posts, or they were and they were promptly dogpiled and blocked. Since the incident I linked above, numerous people came out and said that Jem has been a menace in the Destiny community for a very long time.

I am so eager to find out which blogs I've been digging through looking for dirt and ripping out context. Because the only ones I've ever addressed are people are actively engaging in bigotry in the fandom. Bigotry that makes other people unwilling to engage with the fandom, talk and socialise. Bigotry is making the fandom space unsafe for a large amount of marginalised groups in our community. I will KEEP pointing out bigotry in the fandom. I don't even have to dig, because some people in the fandom keep their dirt on the surface, but if I have to dig to prove that there's bigoted ulterior motives, I will.

I want marginalised groups and minors to feel safe in the community. I want bigots to feel unsafe. Not the other way around. Call it performative all you want.

Already addressed this pile of crap. Jem swung here but ultimately missed by a mile. She gave it a try, but unfortunately she doesn't really understand these things very well, which isn't a surprise considering she picks which battles to take by throwing darts on a board and considering she doesn't care who supports her as long as it's support. Post where I explain mentioning anxiety and original post where I mention it. Please try to read through these on your own and engage critical thinking and then compare it to whatever the hell Jem has going on in this paragraph.

The only liar and truth-twister here is Jem. And according to other people in the community, it's nothing new.

Since people aren't clicking links: I got anon hate telling me to do real life activism instead of posting on my Destiny blog. I explained that this is a tumblr blog about Destiny so you can't tell whether or not I'm doing real life activism based on my tumblr blog. I jokingly added that due to having anxiety, I am capable of caring about multiple issues at once. I did not use it as an excuse in any capacity, but Jem has nothing else to attack me for so she had to scrap the bottom of the barrel to find something.

Please read something other than her horrid takes.

Another tragic miss from Jem, who has worse accuracy than me in Trials. I have so many friends to vent to and I've been venting to them this entire time. They're all sending their regards.

This is like a billionth time that I'm saying that I don't support anon hate and that I do not have physical control over other people's devices and tumblr blogs so I can't stop them from sending anon hate. I said it multiple times: don't send anon hate in my name.

I am not sure how Jem wants me to enforce this. But I also received anon hate and so have other people who participated in this discourse so, pot kettle.

Jem is heavily projecting her own reasons for causing drama and thinks that everyone does it for the same reasons as she does. Weird slip.

Anyway, you can tell Jem that I've seen it and that I say: Bye!

#ask #discourse

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julieandthefandoms · 3 years

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Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU

HELLO THERE MY LOVELIES! I’M MAKING A WILD TUMBLR REAPPEARANCE AND I BRING WITH ME SHINY NEW SHOWS I’VE WATCHED AND PERHAPS THE GREATEST AU I’VE EVER WRITTEN DOWN!

Okay, so, I’m going to preface this by saying that I finally watched the Untamed over the past summer and now am slightly obsessed. I am also in the middle of reading the novel and watching the animation, so... that’s something.

Anyway, today, I decided that it would be a good idea to rewatch my favorite childhood film, a little Bollywood comedy titled Housefull 2. Upon rewatching this, I realized that the MDZS characters would fit really well into the convoluted mess of this plot and so I wrote a little bullet pointed AU idea thing.

(I don’t think I’ll have the time to write this, so if anyone wants to use this concept, pleaseeee tag me/tell me about it. Also, if anything like this is already written, pleaseee tell me too, I need the crack content.) (I’m also desi, by the way, so I don’t know much about Chinese culture, so please tell me if anything is offensive or just plain inaccurate.)

So, without further ado, I’ll be presenting this Housefull 2 MDZS/The Untamed AU!

-As per canon, JZX is emotionally constipated and couldn’t communicate until after his engagement with JYL got split up. Having made their sister cry, JC, WWX, and NHS (who gets roped into it) plan to crush JZX for hurting JYL.

-They send WQ to crush JZX by breaking his heart but give her such vague instructions that she accidentally falls for Mianmain.

NHS: “So... who’re we supposed to use to crush this Peacock. I mean, it can’t be any of us.”

WWX: “I don’t know about y’all, but I’d be great at this mission.” *wiggles eyebrows*

JC *rolls eyebrows*: “I think you forgot that mom will have your head if you do something like this.”

JC: “Hey, you remember her from university?”

WWX: “Who?”

JC: “You know, *her*, the one with the needles who could murder anyone and get away with it”

WWX: *laughing* “Holy hell, the Peacock doesn’t know what’s coming for him!”

NHS: “And who might this mystery lady be?” He says, knowing exactly who this mystery lady is.

JC and WWX: “Wen Qing.”

-All the while, JGS thinks that WQ and JZX are engaged because the Idiot Trio sent an envoy ahead that claimed WQ was a head disciple of Jiang and is a replacement for JYL. JGS has now set the engagement of WQ and JZX in August.

-They find out about Mianmian/LQY and WQ too late, and now JC, WWX, and NHS send someone else, LWJ, to crush JZX’s heart.

JC: “You can’t continue to do this, what happened to our deal?!”

WQ: *death glares* “What our deal said was that I needed to woo someone vaguely in relation to the nickname “Peacock” and happened to be in Lanling as payback for JZX breaking your sister’s heart, I don’t think I’m the one who forgot our deal here.”

JC: “And your first thought was that Mianmian/LQY was Peacock?!”

WQ: “She’s pretty and a Jin, so…”

Before there would be a throw down in this place, WWX interrupted: “Okay, WQ it’s alright that you feel for Mianmian/LQY, but who is supposed to help us teach JZX a lesson now?”

NHS: “I don’t know, but it could maybe be someone who’s already close to JZX.”

JC: “That sounds like a horrible ide- Wait, that’s lowkey kinda genius. Do you remember him from university?”

WWX: “Him?”

JC: “Yeah, you know, him, the one who’s entire vocabulary was the syllable “Mn” and whom you pined after for years.”

WWX *blushing like there’s no tomorrow*: “We can’t send him, he’ll probably send me off to do 50 handstands”

JC: “Please, he’s do anything you ask him to”

NHS: *flutters his fan while knowing to an extreme degree what’s going to happen*

-They send WWX as LWJ’s ‘driver’ for him to make sure the plan is on track, but it just ends in LZ/WY pining. JC is also sent there as a businessman since he needs to make sure JGS doesn’t suspect anything too suspicious. At the same time though, because JGS thinks WQ and JZX are engaged and since LWJ spends most of his free time talking to Mianmian/LQY about his hopeless pining, JGS starts to think that Mianmian/LQY and LWJ are to be engaged and plans another engagement. JGS is quick to inform LQR about this and now LQR thinks that his nephew is married to Mianmian/LQY and that they’re getting married in August.

-At some point here, LXC is in Lanling to visit his bud Meng Yao and that’s when JC and LXC begin talking and stuff. (This can be platonic or romantic, I don’t have a personal preference).

-Additionally, this is also when WWX and LWJ begin investigating the happenings of Lanling and discover the extent of an asshole JGS is. They'd probably be reported sporadically and NHS definitely sent this evidence to detectives XXC and Song Lan.

-So far, no one has gotten to properly executing this plan, and JC & WWX are beginning to question things. Because things couldn’t possibly get worse, this is the moment when Madam Yu decides that it’d be a good idea to visit the Jins in order to remind them of their arranged marriage between JYL and JZX. So now, JC and WWX have to drag both LXC and JYL into this convoluted plot because otherwise everything would go horribly wrong. JC, WWX, NHS, JYL, LXC, WQ, LWJ, and Mianmian/LQY (WQ directly told the boys that if they don’t let Mianmian/LQY in on this, she’ll personally shove a needle where it hurts) are in this room together, attempting to processes the absolute mess that has occurred. (Poor JZX is still living obliviously, his father didn’t even tell him that he’s technically engaged to WQ now. JZX is just vibing in confusion and thinks he’s just being buds with LWJ because LWJ is horrible at flirting with anyone that’s not WWX so his job of breaking JZX is... not going well.) In the end, after being on the receiving end of many of JYL’s disappointed looks, JC and WWX convince her to help them with their plot just this once. (She wouldn’t tell anyone that she was secretly pleased, but hey, JYL kept her vengeance deep, deep down low and deserved to exercise it just this once.)

-(it is important to note here that in this AU, Madame Yu doesn’t know what JZX looks like)

-The plan would be that LXC would (reluctantly) pretend to be JZX in front of Madam Yu. Additionally, Madame Yu thinks the actual JZX is NHS (because JC panicked and that’s the first name he could come up with when Madam Yu asked who was that kid if LXC was JZX). This was to drive JGS off their tails as he still believed that WQ is engaged to JZX now. (He did email LQR about this as well who now thinks his nephews are now engaged to JYL and Mianmian/LQY, respectively, and are going to be married that August.) This is the part where WWX and LWJ finally start realizing that their feelings are mutual after a pep talk from Mianmian/LQY, LXC, and WQ (who’s pep talk sounded more like a shovel talk) for LWJ and from JC, NHS, and JYL for WWX. This is also when Mianmian/LQY and WQ grow closer and also decide that the rest of the group is useless and team up with NHS to knock some sense into JZX. Finally, JZX becomes less emotionally constipated and confesses to JYL, and because WWX, JYL, and JC think that an intervention from the scariest trio (WQ, Mianmian/LQY, NHS) is apt punishment, they call an end to their payback. (Also partially due to JZX having character growth as different characters grilled him throughout this AU). While this is great for our mains, it can only cause a bunch of shenanigans because of the way the parental figures interpret this situation.

-JGS and Madame Jin think the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, LXC/JYL, WWX/NHS

-Madame Yu thinks the pairings are: JZX (except it’s LXC’s version of JZX)/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/NHS (except it’s JZX who got confused for NHS)

-LQR thinks the pairings are: WQ/JZX, LQY/LWJ, and LXC/JYL

-Meanwhile, the pairings actually are: JZX/JYL, LWJ/WWX, LQY/WQ, and (maybe?) JC/LXC

-In conclusion, they’re all utterly fucked. Therefore, they have to bring everyone into this convoluted plot now, and finally JZX’s experiences over the past months make a little more sense to him. While discussing this mess they’ve created, WWX has an idea.

WWX: “Okay, so, looking at the actual chart of who everyone thinks is who, the biggest disparity is between Madam Yu and JGS’s viewpoints, right? What if we just removed Madam Yu from the equation, make Madam Jin and Madam Yu have a falling out so that Madam Yu won’t be invited to the wedding so that we can focus on one of the false interpretations of all the relationships happening.”

JC: “Madam Jin and Madam Yu have been the best of friends, how are we supposed to make them hate each other?”

JYL: “I mean, we could stage something, a betrayal of some sort.”

NHS: “I’m liking the way you think.”

-So through this plot and NHS’s concerning amount of connections, our group succeeds in breaking apart Madam Yu and Madam Jin’s friendship. JC and WWX also manage to worm their way into convincing the Jins to let JYL marry LXC to “spite Madam Yu’s wish of combining the Jiang and Jin families.” Because of JGS arranging and emailing parents throughout this fic, JYL, JZX, LXC, Mianmian/LQY, WQ, NHS, WWX, and LWJ are basically set to be married in August, except it’s to the wrong person! Soon enough, the wedding day arrives and the gang has a plan: they’ll dress the exact same and have the most elaborate and disruptive headpieces so that their faces are covered.

(Note: Instead of NHS being part of the people getting married as it should be, JC is replaces him for the actual ceremony. Since the our marrige folks have their faces covered, nobody really notices that JC replaced NHS and is marrying LXC. This can be either because of a marriage of convenience to combine companies, or out of actual feelings. I’m cool with either interpretation in my head. Meanwhile, NHS is out in the crowd and People didn’t him because of his surprisingly useful camouflage fan.)

-And so, the group sets NHS as their distraction while JC pretends to be NHS for the wedding ceremony. NHS basically knocks into the most expensive vase he can find so that most of the parental figures turn around, giving the group getting married the opportunity to switch places with one another until they’re in the right spot. So, a bunch of stuff happens, Madam Yu barges in to yell about how disgraceful it is for the Jins to go on with this marriage even though they broke the engagement in the first place and betrayed the trust of the Jiang corporation. Madam Yu also just, airs out JGS’s dirty laundry in a real badass way.

-It’s all chaotic. Hell breaks loose. JGS goes batshit crazy and starts bringing our firearms. And so, basically, everyone ends up hiding behind pillars and stuff, though, eventually, after everyone has to run out of their hiding spot’s because Su She cannot shut the fuck up and keeps getting the other’s exposed, they all pile behind JGS in the world’s worst game combined game of Hide & Seek and Slither.io. It all finally ends when JGS gets arrested for a shit ton of crimes, and everything finally ends with a joint wedding between 8 people, except this time it’s with the right partners.

So, yeah, that’s the AU that I wrote in a dazed craze in the past 2 hours. I hope it was at least partially understandable. I hope y’all have fun with it! Again, if you know of a fanfic that’s got a similar energy or want to write something similar, please tell me, I need more fanfiction. Also, that last scene is basically a direct copy of this scene from the movie Housefull 2. (I’m sorry though, I can’t find an english subbed version of the scene. :(

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aegialia · 3 years

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self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.

for good:

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

#gloomth and circumstance #this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog #w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else

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foundthe8wing · 4 years

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Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog.

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads:

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late.

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused.

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads:

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:)

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in.

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite.

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better.

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable.

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed.

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop.

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #cw grooming #cw SA #8wing

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kuromichad · 3 years

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different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia.

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner).

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness.

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

#source on much of this: existing as a transmasc on tumblr for years and years.#i stopped identifying as any sort of 'woman-aligned' pretty much right before the ridiculous 'all afabs are dysphoric' stuff #but it sure did still make me hate myself and feel like a silly cowardly ugly little girl for wanting to transition!#and back when i WAS a she/they i definitely was falling for 'men are bad maleness is bad always inherently :)' rhetoric #not in the modern form outlined above but in the like. brainlessly parroted from 'baeddel tumblr' form #which was still like 'you can escape being a Bad Person by either becoming or admitting you are a girl :)'#and the only acknowledgment of trans men in this ideology was like. 'well i guess they feel like they have to do that :\'#'too bad for them. im not saying they shouldnt transition but you know. men suck though <3'#it was bad for me it was bad for other people so im saying from experience. Fucking cut it out! the end

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et-lesailes · 5 years

Text

missing linc // chapter four

series masterlist

pairing: ceo!dad!steve x reader

word count: 2800

chapter summary: reader doesn’t hear from steve ever since the phone call until he gets drunk one night and decides to come forth about his feelings.

taglist: @viarogers , @evanstush , @chibi-crazy , @chalamet-evans , @world-of-losers , @songforhema, @sebabestianstan101 , @tanyam93 , @bval-1, @wonderwinchester , @little-miss-exo, @poerebel , @pining-and-tired , @gogomez-509 , @patzammit, @a-distantdreamer, @malthestorytellerblog, @rainbowkisses31, @jbug491writinghelp, @quaiderade, @melannie77, @gigistorm, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @firstangeldragonranch, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @honeyloverogers, @capsiclesdoll, @qrndevans, @mcueveryday, @drkstrangeson, @bangtan-serendipity, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyiamthatbitch, @captainscanadian, @kaithezaftig, @morganhoran1671, @booktease21, @hista-girl, @steeeeverogers, @okilover02, @collete04, @sadella-adams, @rumoured-whispers, @aletteredaffair, @shannon124, @isawritesstories, @knuffeltuff, @wxntersoldiers, @kelbabyblue, @macgruberrr, @troublermalik, @deepmuffinspymaker, @societalfailure, @brastrangled, @hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall, @anxiousstark, @captainsbxbygirl, @barbar126

notes: it’s finally here! i’m posting this in a bit of a rush, i’ve got a million things to do today and a 4 hour drive to look forward to... i’m also gonna tell you guys now that ch 5 might take a few days more than usual, i’m still thinking about which direction i want to take this story and i would rather take my time than have it be rushed!

** concerning the taglist: i’m super duper touched n happy that so many people are requesting to be added, but i will say that it is a LOT of work to go through and tag each one of you. unfortunately copy pasting does not work with tumblr notifs for some reason. and so if i’m starting to notice people who are on this taglist and not interacting with this fic (liking, replying, reblogging, etc.) i will start removing those people. but thank you so much to the ones who do interact, it means the world to me!

“Are you fucking kidding me, Tiana? You knew she was coming over, and you really thought having your boyfriend’s tongue shoved down your throat in front of the biggest fucking window of my house was a good idea?”

“She came thirty minutes early, Steve! How could I have known? David had been right about to leave just so it wouldn’t cause any problems when she came!”

“Well it fucking did. How did you even cover that up, anyways?”

“I just told her he was over for work. At the time, I didn’t know she saw me, okay? Steve, you need to fix this.”

The businessman scoffed, running a hand through his hair in frustration as he paced the empty conference room back and forth. “This is not my thing to fix, Tiana, this is all you. If it were up to me and if you actually listened to me, there wouldn’t have even been anything to hide. You and David could be fucking like goddamn rabbits in your own fucking front yard if you wanted to, if you had just been willing to get a fucking divorce.”

There was silence on the phone, and Steve knew she was starting to cry. He knew her too well by now, he did not even need to hear any choked sobs or sniffs. They had been together since they were twenty-five, after all; as much as neither of them wanted to know the other inside and out, they did.

“How does this not hurt you at all, Steve? How are you just-- how are you so fucking okay with me sleeping with another guy? You don’t even want to fight for me?”

“Don’t start this conversation again, Tiana.”

“I need to fucking know! What suddenly became so fucking unattractive about me that you didn’t want to be with me anymore? That you decided you didn’t love me anymore, after being together for over ten fucking years?”

“I don’t fucking know what it is, Tiana, I just know the feelings aren’t there anymore!” his voice was practically a roar now, the male completely heated upon having this argument for what felt like the millionth time. “And I know they weren’t for you, either! Yeah, I know I fucked up, but I did it because I could tell you had fallen out of love too, and you know that! And I know, that’s no excuse for what I did. But everything that’s happened since then, that’s all on you, all of this shit happens because you won’t fucking let go already!”

Silence again. This time, he could hear her cry.

“I really fucking hate you, Steve.”

“Then let me go.” His voice returned to its normal low pitch, though he was practically breathless from his rampage. Thank God he had picked one of the more isolated conference rooms, though he couldn’t be positive that the people directly below him or above him hadn’t heard his wrath.

She hung up and he sunk down into one of the office chairs, resting his elbows on the smooth wood surface of the table as he brought his hands to his head, closing his eyes.

It had been about a week since you had last talked to Steve, and you were worried out of your mind. Not that he really had any reason to be talking to you; it wasn’t as though you were best friends, why would he be calling you up to talk about his life and how he was coping with his cheating wife? Still, you had been hoping for at least a text, maybe even an extremely vague update letting you know he was working things out.

Seeing Tiana at the daycare was also incredibly awkward. You figured she knew that you had told Steve, because she seemed a little more stiff around you. You were also a bit confused by her behavior, too. You had expected she would have wanted to explain everything to you immediately, to try and defend herself and make herself seem like she was not the bad guy. Or, at the very least, flip out at you for telling Steve everything. But there was nothing. She said her hellos, goodbyes, a forced smile as she either dropped off or picked up, then left. Perhaps she just did not want you to be further involved, and even you decided that was for the best. Still, you were a bit sad upon realizing that might have been not only the first, but the last time you would ever babysit Linc. You doubted Tiana would ever want you to again. And so you savored your time with him during the days, playing with him and enjoying every ounce of his demeanor that reminded you so much of his father’s.

In a way, it was good that you and Steve were not keeping up communication. You could think about other things, other people. The more you thought about it, you had been far too intrigued by the tycoon, and it was probably for the best that you had some space from him. You felt dumb and naive for having such a huge crush on someone so unattainable, but now you could try to move on. If that was even the term for whatever this was-- it wasn’t as though you had any legitimate relationship to move on from.

Friday night came around, and you were getting ready for a date. A boy from your social psychology class had been interested in you for a while, and when he had reached out to you earlier in the week right after all of the drama with Steve and Tiana to ask how your summer was going, you took it as a sign. And so you had made the first move, asking if he wanted to grab dinner with you sometime.

The date went fairly well-- as well as it could, anyways, after meeting a man like Steve Rogers. Peter was a cute guy, harmless and like a little puppy, but you couldn’t help but realize how much more… mature Steve had been in comparison. Had you screwed yourself over? Were you only into older men now? It wasn’t as though Peter was childish, you had just appreciated how experienced in life Steve was. He seemed so wise even from simple conversation, and the fact that he was such an amazing dad was a plus…

When Peter asked for a second date, you felt far too guilty to agree. How could you if you couldn’t stop thinking about another man? You explained to him that while the date went great and that he was an amazing guy, you were not particularly ready to jump into a relationship and that you did not want to lead him on-- and he completely understood. He asked if the two of you could at least still hang out as friends, and you couldn't help but feel touched and grateful that he was so sweet about the whole situation, immediately agreeing. Like a perfect gentleman, he brought you home and to the doorstep, giving you a hug before watching you go inside and turning to his car.

You went to sleep feeling rather content for the first time all week, hopeful that focusing on this new friendship would help get your mind off of Steve.

You felt the same contentment as last night upon waking up, a determined smile spread across your lips. It was Saturday and you would go out with some friends, have a movie night, do something instead of think of a messed up relationship that wasn’t even yours.

However, once you checked your phone as you still lay in bed, your eyes widened in shock.

Steve: I miss you

You blinked a few times, positive you weren’t dreaming even if that was what it felt like. You checked what time he sent it. 9:12 AM. You looked at the current time. 9:20. Your heart was racing and you felt exactly like you had the week prior, his annoyingly handsome face now taking up your mind. Did he mean to send that to someone else? Perhaps Tiana, maybe they had made up? You were staring at the text message so intently that you hadn’t even noticed there had been speech bubbles underneath it the entire time until another message came in.

Steve: I fjucking miss you. It’s dumb hw much I miss you,

Was he drunk? You didn’t know whether to find this hilarious or concerning, but either way you were definitely confused. Why would he miss you? And why was he drinking at 9 AM? Though the second the question popped into your mind, you realized he was probably still in Manila. Immediately going to the clock app on your phone, you looked up what time it was there. Exactly twelve hours ahead, meaning it was 9 PM for him. Still a bit early to get drunk, you thought to yourself, but maybe that meant he wasn’t doing so well…

Y/N: Do you mean to be sending these to me…?

The speech bubbles appeared almost instantly.

Steve: Well theydre definiely not for my fucking wife.

Steve: Fuck

Steve: Im sorry

Steve: I shoudlnt be doing this.

You frowned, immediately texting back.

Y/N: You’re not okay, are you? You can talk to me it’s okay

Y/N: I want to help, Steve

Y/N: Do you want me to call you?

There were a few moments of torture before the speech bubbles sprung up again.

Steve: Give me aon hour.

You stared at the message, wondering if he would actually call you in an hour or if he would be passed out. You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling as you processed everything that had just happened.

He missed you. You shouldn’t have felt so ecstatic, but you were.

So much for forgetting about him.

Your phone dinged again and you held it up to your face in seconds. However, it was not Steve.

Peter: Good morning :) I just wanted to say again that I had a really fun night last night! I hope you slept well!

That made you smile, glad that he had the consideration to send a good morning text even after you had told him you would rather remain friends for the time being. You had really gotten lucky with him-- you had certainly had experiences with guys in the past who would react much more bitter.

Y/N: Hi Peter! I did too, and I can’t wait to hang out again soon! Slept like a baby haha

You and Peter texted back and forth for the next forty minutes or so until he had to go, and you actually felt a little better.

You rolled over in bed to attempt to go back to sleep for a bit, mostly doubting Steve’s last text. It was a weekend, anyways, so you might as well catch up on sleep while you could. You had probably been shifting around for about twenty minutes until your phone started ringing. Opening your eyes from your terrible attempt at sleep, you blinked, genuinely shocked. Sure enough, his name was on your screen, and you bit your lip somewhat nervously as you sat up in bed to answer it.

“Hi, Steve,” you spoke softly, your voice slightly shaded with sleep due to not having used it yet. “Are you alright?”

“Hey, Y/N. I am,” he spoke surprisingly coherent, throwing you off. You had expected him to still be a drunken mess. Had he really sobered up in an hour? He definitely did sound tired, though. “I’m.. sorry about those messages from earlier. I hope they didn’t weird you out.”

The complete opposite, really. “No, of course not.” You answered, keeping your more honest thoughts to yourself. “I guess I was just… confused.” He sighed deeply and you could hear the rustling of sheets. Was he getting into bed? You hoped so, he sounded like he needed sleep. “Yeah, as you should be. Hell, I am too. I mean, I barely even know you, and all I can think about is how I want to.” You felt your heart skip a beat, a blush traveling over your cheeks. “Really?” was all you could manage, almost convinced this had to be a dream. However, you made yourself snap out of it; you were still certainly welcome to this, but you wanted to be as rational as possible. “Steve, is this just because of…”

“No.” He cut you off and he sighed again, silent for a few moments before speaking lowly. “Tiana and I, we have a complicated relationship. We have for years now.” You noticed that his answers seemed slightly short; you were waiting for further explanation, but there was none. You weren’t sure if you should inquire further-- was he letting you know that he wanted to talk about it, or was he trying to avoid the subject entirely? You slowly cleared your throat to fill the silence, then ventured to ask a question. “What’s going to happen from here?”

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “In an ideal world, I’d be a single dad with no complicated relationships, and I’d just go ahead and ask you out so I can actually get to know you. But here we are.” You couldn’t help but blush deeper at how direct he was, not quite used to men being like this. Or, at least, boys your age certainly weren’t. “Our age difference… doesn’t bother you?” you asked hesitantly, and he chuckled for the first time, the deep rumble sounding like music to your ears. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that? I don’t think you even know how old I am.” You had assumed thirties, but you supposed he was right. “I’m thirty-eight,” he told you before you could even ask, pausing for a moment before continuing, “How do you feel about that?”

“I love it.” You found yourself blurting out, then hit your forehead, silently groaning as you fell back onto the bed. He was laughing now, teasing, “Oh, do you now? Wow, are you telling me you have a daddy kink?” You couldn’t help but giggle too, rolling onto your stomach. “I didn’t mean to say it like that, okay? I just meant-- I don’t know, I’ve never been with an older guy before if we’re being honest, but I want to be with someone mature. Someone who can help me be better and has experience to back it up, but of course I want to be able to support them too. Which brings me back to my question…” you trailed off somewhat nervously. “Do you really think a twenty year old girl is someone you should be interested in?”

“I think I don’t give a shit how old you are.” He replied bluntly, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly at that. “I mean, as long as you’re legal, of course, which you are. But your age has nothing to do with what I may or may not feel for you. I think you’re fun to talk to, you take amazing care of my son, who, not to mention is absolutely in love with you too-- and you have so much dedication and passion for what you do and what you want. And… it doesn’t hurt that you manage to look drop dead gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing. Even when you’re covered in my son’s drool by the end of the day.” He added playfully, and while you were blushing madly over all of his compliments, you laughed loudly at his last one. “Thank you. That might be the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.” You replied sarcastically, and the sound of his laugh echoed on the other end, only making you smile wider. Making him laugh felt so damn satisfying.

“Are you feeling better?” you suddenly asked, hating to ruin the moment by being so serious, but you were genuinely concerned. “I mean, both from being drunk earlier and… everything else.” He hummed lowly and you could hear the sheets rustle some more. “Talking to you helps a lot. I should have called you earlier this week, honestly.” There it was, your heart racing again. “When do you come back?” you asked, now just wishing you could see him in person. “My flight’s in the morning. I should be back sometime on Monday.”

“Will you pick Linc up?”

“I will.” He confirmed, and you could hear by his tone that he was smiling. “How about we figure out when to spend time together once I’m back.”

“Alright. Sounds good.” You agreed, unable to help but smile, too. “Goodnight, Steve. See you soon.”

“Night, Y/N. Thanks for talking to me.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers au #dad!steve #steve rogers fic #ml

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sylph-feather · 3 years

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Also scrolling through tumblr and just seeing your posts about your dm and stuff is like sitting at a table in the library, reading, and hearing someone two tables over talking loudly and it’s just the weirdest shit and you kind of don’t know whether to respond or what is even happening

it’s like this post but im the anon

anyways i will TRY to do my best to explain everything in a condensed form. Basically 2014~2015 i was super depressed bc I got a case of that tasty chronic illness, so I joined this community online called the p0kemon daily/ask community (I don’t want this to show up related to that)... aka just started running a blog where I drew some pokemon characters every day and took drawing prompts / interactions / etc about them. It was cute, I guess, but mostly it was a good way to draw everyo day (it improved my art SO much) and get myself out of bed.

ANYWAYS i ended up joining several discords, etc for some more socialization. And there are a LOT of weird people in the discords, and a lot of varying ages; a lot of the discords were mostly annoying because it would be a mix of like 20ish year olds (such as my dm) and 15ish year olds (me) and rhe 20ish year olds modelled less than appropriate adulr behavior. The main server I was in and interacted with was my DM’s.

Some examples lol: the one who’s now my dm told me her fetish awakening when she was like ~19 and I was ~15, and she wasn’t even the first to do that. Other things were just constantly joking about piss kinks (which is why i didnt interact with the biggest server of the community), having blogs centered around twincest and not many people finding that an issue, general inability to interact with children and keep porn in appropriate channels, etc. Some of it is more egregious and some of it is just annoying, but yeah, i have a LOT of weird stories from this time.

On top of that, there was just a lot of drama that you’d expect from a community of teenagers, anything from like lgbtphobia (such as the friend I used to watch movies/shows with all the time for years and was my closest friend for a while because of my isolation coming out and saying “actually my uber christian ass has decided that bible says gay ISNT okay”) to “minors should see porn ive been looking at porn since i was 12 ans turned out fine” (my dm) to just “this person is fucking annoying as hell.” Plus there’s some special art community flavor like “this person requests drawing prompts / scenarios that are like.. subtly kink.”

Anyways that’s a tangent in regards to my dm, but the main things you need to know is shes one of those people who claims to be centrist but is actually very right (except in regards to identity/lgbt+ politics), and that she was really bad at imodding her server— between the whole “inability to talk to children without being weird” as well as just generally being unwilling to punish people— as well as just like... a vaguely scummy person overall, just not enough to outright drop (because I was overly sympathetic). Cuz of this, I made my own server essentially to be a place I was comfy in. Years later she has said this was “hurtful” or whatever because I ended up with a lot of people that were in her server. Blah blah blah. There’s a reason they left, girl.

So it goes, etcetera. She was in my server for a bit and clearly bitter and still scummy. I didn’t interacr directly with her much even then, though she weirdly seemed to see me as a friend. More drama happened, eventually we go to ghosting each other for like 2 years straight.

Then she invites me to dnd out of fucking nowhere lol. I kind of figured she’d grown less tolerant and changed based on certain things, but nope. She’s the same.

Anyways, the campaign mostly suffers because she has run 5 campaigns in this setting and thus it��s literally CONSTANT lore dumping / exposition, for months. And in between that, rather than doing character rp or generally letting us guide the story, she just shoves pokemon battles in front of us. And it’s very mechanically pokemon, so the battles really are just as simple a spamming a move til it’s dead. We’ll play for 3 hours and the summation of the session will be “fought a boss” (because there’s a boss every session) and “got lore on another legendary.” Also there’s a lot of tonal issues... she kind of went for “goofy cult” as the enemies and suddenly a month later they’re like torturing people and shit, meanwhile there was a member of the party who was cursed to wear clown shoes all the time, so just, wack. It’s not just me who has an issue with this stuff, given that 2/5 people have left from boredom, and 4/5 people have vented about it in a private server that’s just “our group minus the dm” that nobody’s snitched on (which also says something).

Everything I vent about her is just the cherry on top, lol

i guess a tldr on my already condensed thing: my dm was one of the many weirdos with bad opinions and inability to talk to children I used to have as part of my friend group, and she’s not really changed all that much after she invited me to dnd for some godforsaken reason

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rookieskrp · 4 years

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ROOKIES, WE’RE HIRING!

Here we are again with our old friend the mod application! This is Carly coming to you, milking my ability to make these announcements while it’s still my job. This time...we’re looking for my replacement! I’m (half) kidding; I have a lot of responsibilities in Rookies and have been here for a very long time, so we don’t expect anyone new to take over that role. Lari will largely be stepping up as far as the relations role goes, but we need someone to help fill that space I’ll be leaving come the 2nd of April. More than that, we need to get Lari some help with her current responsibilities so she can take over mine with as little stress as possible. We’ll cover what exactly we’re looking for below!

We’re looking to add at least one more person-- possibly more -- to the team.

Want to help? Here are a few requirements:

You have to be willing to work with the current team. The admod team is a group effort and it will fall apart if we’ve got in-fighting. If the idea of working with any of us doesn’t really sound good to you, then this probably isn’t the job for you. If you don’t have a problem with any of us and are just nervous, we’re all understanding and excited to expand the team, so we’d encourage you to apply! You’ll also need to be okay with one of your ideas getting turned down. We’ll never turn down/change ideas without a good reason and we’ll always be happy to explain why we think things may not work, but if you’re going to get offended over us saying “no” or asking you to change something or put something on hold, then we’re going to have a hard time working together.

New mods will have a HUGE impact on RK, but won’t be reforming the RP. Whoever’s on the admod team will, of course, have a large effect on the RP. However, there are certain aspects of the RP that won’t change. If you’re trying to become an admod to remold the RP into something it isn’t, it’s not going to work out.

Drama is inevitable in RP, and RK admods field more of it than the average leadership team because of points and auditions, etc. Applicants need to be able to remain levelheaded in the face of conflict or problems arising. RK operates on a strike system, and in order to hand out strikes, all active staff members vote on whether something brought to our attention is strike-worthy or not. Applicants need to be willing to look over collected evidence of conflict and drama presented, and vote at the very least, if not screenshot and diffuse drama themselves. On top of this, they need to be able to stay calm and reasonable even when they get the same question 50 different times from 50 different members, and no matter who approaches them, and they need to be self-aware enough to know when to step back and hand an issue over to another member of the team. Don’t worry; we won’t throw you to the sharks when you first start off, and you’re welcome (and recommended) to point any drama out to one of the more experienced mods and let us handle it until you learn the ropes. Regardless, any potential admods need to remain collected and as unbiased and kind as possible in conflict, no matter who they’re dealing with, and be willing to act and maintain the peace in Rookies as things come up. They also must refrain from addressing any drama publicly, because the way an admod acts in drama influences the atmosphere of the roleplay very directly. We’re very serious about this-- any admod vague-tweeting or anything of the like will be subject to removal from the team.

Obviously, applicants need to be able to set their own personal biases aside for auditions and things like that. Because we’re a group, we can easily check each other on this, but if we see that someone is consistently pulling just for their own and/or their friends’ characters, it’s not going to fly.

Availability is important. You won’t need to be on every single day- however, you’ll need to be able to dedicate at least a few hours each week to mod duties. Keep in mind that the main and two of the staff team are currently in the GMT-5 (EST) timezone. Bianca is in GMT-3, Ume is in GMT-7, Lari is in GMT+1 and Keith is in GMT+8, so clearly we’ll consider people from any timezone as potential mods, but sometimes timezones can make communication complicated. It would be most convenient if any potential mods could be online when at least one other staff member is for easy communication and accessible assistance, but we usually read through any chats we miss due to timezones, and we’ll be able to make anything work.

Reliability! We’re looking for people who plan on being here for the long haul.

You’ve got to be able to keep a secret. As a mod, you’ll often know about stuff that’s coming down the pike before the rest of the directory, and you can’t tell anyone- even your friends. You’ll also need to keep how decisions were made a secret unless the team agrees to share details with the public, no matter how many people hound you for answers.

You’ve got to have a pretty good grasp of the RK rules. If you don’t already know them super well, don’t worry- you’ll learn quick. Just keep in mind that you’ll need to get familiar with them if you aren’t already.

So, what kinds of tasks will new mods be accomplishing?

It depends! On the current team, we all have our own roles and cover all the bases pretty well, though we’ve also done some rearranging based on the roleplay and the team’s present needs. Because this system has worked so well for us, it’s something we intend to keep up. The tasks new mods will complete largely depend on what you want to help with, and what tasks we feel will suit you best after reading through your application. It’s also possible that you may need to pitch in to help on tasks you wouldn’t normally complete if a certain mod needs help with their usual responsibilities, so some willingness to be versatile would be a great quality! Here’s what we do as mods and will be enlisting your help in, though no single mod should have to do all of this at any given time (that’s why we’re expanding the team!):

MONITORING THE DASH: This includes keeping an eye out for any rule-breaking (both IC and OOC) and reporting it to the mod chat as needed, as well as keeping an eye out for any good gossip for rknetizens/idolators! You also might have the opportunity to write gossip articles from time to time, or help with the many articles that go up on rknetizens weekly. With a dash as active as Rookies, and with as many characters as we have in a roleplay, we’re in desperate need of more eyes. This is always a hard job to keep up with, especially with Tumblr recently breaking so you can’t easily go forward and backward on pages of the dash anymore (Mod Carly’s preferred way of doing things.) The more people that can help with this, the better, as it’s something we always end up sacrificing for the sake of other aspects of the roleplay and something we think Rookies would really benefit from.

DISCIPLINE: As mentioned earlier in the post, at the very least, you’ll be voting in what we call “strike trials” to determine when we need to take disciplinary action or not. We’ll also likely have you take screenshots of any drama you spot to aid in this process, and to let the mod chat know of any issues ASAP. To start off, the more experienced mods will do the disciplinary heavy lifting. As time goes on and you gain more experience we’ll probably share the responsibility of confrontation with you, and may even ask you to write up a dreaded strike message based on who’s available. We’ll never force you to do this if you aren’t comfortable unless you happen to be the only mod around in the face of a drama emergency, but if you’re willing to do this, it’ll put you ahead of the rest of your competition for this position. Lari will take charge of this when Carly leaves, but this is undoubtedly the area Carly had the most involvement in and the area we’ll be lacking the most once she leaves. It’s really important that we at least have someone willing to collaborate on the right course of action to take in dealing with drama, and important that you’re willing to help field some of this alongside Lari eventually, even if it’s not all the time.

UPDATING LISTS/GENERAL UPKEEP: This includes idol rosters, as well as the secret (not so secret now…) lists we have for muns and potential scandal information we collect. Aside from that, we also run advertisements for Rookies in the KRP tags from time to time, and you can help fill up that queue too. These are incredibly easy to forget about and can be monotonous work, and both the mun list and gossip list are currently quite out of date and in desperate need of help. This is one of the top responsibilities we need help in!

GENERAL OPINIONS, IDEAS, AND LOTS OF COMMUNICATION: The most important (and hopefully easiest) thing for a new mod to do is contribute lots of ideas, and give the current staff feedback on their ideas. Just having you present as someone to bounce ideas off of and having another perspective around is a huge help to us, so we’ll often ask you what you think about something, and how you think the best way to go about something is, and we want you to be honest! I’m an incredible vocal mod, talking in our chat all the time, and the chat will likely be a lot more quiet without me. I really want somebody willing to communicate a lot so it feels like the other mods aren’t missing a person on the team in this regard at all!

HELPING WITH CASTING DECISIONS: A lot of times, the current staff members in charge of casting events may go through it without enlisting your help, but sometimes you’ll be able to help! This might mean we’ll need you to read a bunch of solos and tell us your thoughts, other times this means we’ll just need you to go around and put all the contestants’ points into a Google Doc to speed up the process, or do some math. Other times, we may talk it out as a group the whole way through, and conspire on the best way to make a decision together. Because we have lots of staff members available to pitch in here, we won’t often need your help with this, and if you have a muse participating in the auditions or would rather not be part of the decision-making process for any reason, that’ll always be optional. This is an area we don’t need help in, but it’s listed here just in case!

WRITING AND SENDING OUT PROMPTS: Sometimes, we’ll send prompts out from rkevent to characters. This can be for a variety of reasons; most commonly, it’s for disciplinary action for trainees IC, though it can also be for special opportunities, including street casting or feedback from the judging panel about auditions. There was even a time that 50 prompts were sent out during evaluations, and a set of auditions where we sent out around 50 total prompts as well. Naturally, these things can take a lot of time, so we may have you help in writing these, especially if we have a lot to get to! More commonly, though, we’ll just have you do some of the monotonous work of sending out the prompts to everyone. Any prompts you do write will have to go through a more experienced staff member first, at least while you get the hang of writing from the perspective of the RK companies! This is once again a task that isn’t that important for you to do, given how many others we have available to write these.

And what kinds of things are new mods less likely to handle?

FINAL CASTING DECISIONS: As mentioned above, while we might enlist your help in the casting process, the more experienced staff members will make the final call here. This may change in the future, but to start out, you won’t be doing any casting on your own.

COMING UP WITH RK-APPROPRIATE EVENTS: Gab and Bianca do a great job of covering this as our event team, and you shouldn’t need to help with this beyond pitching any ideas you’d like and reading some things over for them or offering any input they might need from you.

THEME AND GRAPHICS: Since we currently have a graphics mod, everything that falls under this area is a job largely accounted for, though more experience on the team certainly wouldn’t hurt! You can definitely offer graphics and theme suggestions as well, and may even get a chance to do some, but don’t expect to be the main theme or graphics maker on the team!

DEALING WITH THE MAIN: This is a bit of a strange task to list as something new mods are unlikely to handle, but our current team has this on lock, so you don’t need to focus your energy on this at all unless there’s an emergency and no one can handle a queue.

VERIFYING POINTS: This means checking each of those verification forms the trainees turn in to make sure they’re properly filled out and that nobody’s cheating, properly tagging the submissions, and posting them in a timely fashion, however, Kyle and Keith handle this currently and don’t need any extra help.

Anyone who’d like to apply should send a submission to the main.

This is what we want to know, in as much or as little detail as you think is applicable (and if you know us, some of us write a lot, so don’t worry about boring us):

1. Do you meet all the requirements? (Any area you’re a little worried about or particularly confident in? Feel free to let us know) 2. Is there anyone you would be uncomfortable working with? (Currently on staff or otherwise. Please be honest! The last thing we want is to accidentally hire two new mods that don’t get along.) 3. Of the mod tasks listed, which are you most interested in taking on? Which ones would you rather not do? 4. Do you bring anything else to the table that isn’t listed above? 5. Is there anything else you’d like to say about why you want to be a mod and why you’d be good at the job? 6. Imagine you’ve been tasked with messaging someone who hurt another member in the group. This deed wasn’t deemed severe enough to warrant a strike, but the team agreed someone should talk to them about it so they know they were in the wrong. Take a stab at typing up your message to them. Feel free to make up specific details of this case, or be as vague as you’d like. Don’t worry about being perfect with this if you aren’t particularly comfortable dealing with drama; just do your best. 7. Extra credit: Imagine you’ve been put in charge of planning an RK event. It can be any kind of event from a monthly eval to an audition to a holiday celebration to a vacation/retreat (such as the language camp back in the day or the summer camp, more recently)- whatever you think of! Write up everything that would be needed for the event, start to finish. This includes both public posts as well as behind-the-scenes information (for example, if there’s a contest element to the event, how will we choose a winner?) If events aren’t really your thing, feel free to think outside of the box here and write up a potential rknetizens or rkidolators post, or come up with some other kind of suggestion. In fact, since our event mods are in tip top shape, we’d rather something out of the box! 8. That’s it; thanks for applying! Now, tell us your zodiac sign (sun, rising and moon) and MBTI type, or another fun fact about you. (This won’t affect your chances of getting the job, Mod Carly is just nosy and will never have a better opportunity to ask than this.)

Please send your mod applications in by midnight at the end of March 25th. We’ll be taking our time to go through everything, to decide, and to prepare to have you on board, so we can’t give you an exact date for when we’ll announce the new staff. If you’re chosen, however, we’ll let you know before the announcement goes up. Thanks for all of your support and interest in advance!

#rkannouncement

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noblehope · 5 years

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Having spoken to a few friends about what caused me to make my last post which you can find here, I’ve come to the decision that I actually should speak out about this incident instead after some recent news. I have appropriately tagged this post with everything that I could think of, and as an extra precaution will be putting the rest of this under a read more. Please understand that I am not only making this post for me, but for everyone that this person has wronged.

The above ask is located on his ouma blog. This is what is causing me to make this post now as I am directly vagued here as are many others. My writing below is my explanation. For the majority of 2018 I was Komari’s best friend and knew him for a total of nine months. I cut contact with him in November and have focused on my own recovery and happiness ever since. Komari is the most manipulative, toxic, and downright abusive person I have ever had the misfortune to know personally, but I am now in a much happier and healthier spot than I was in November.

I have moved on from tumblr to roleplay in the dangan/ronpa discord oc community instead. While I do want to come back to tumblr at some point to roleplay Sonia and Peko (and maybe more), right now I couldn’t be happier with simply applying my own characters to games, spectating games, and making friends through killing games I do get accepted to. This year has been so very kind to me in so many different ways.

However, my year did not start this way. Because of the abuse I went through I was at one of the lowest points in my life, and I would not have been able to recover as quickly as I have if not for my friends or the ones I’ve gained through discovering how deeply Komari’s abuse really ran.

This post is not a secret. Sin made a post on her blog clearing up lies Komari spread about her. Seeing this unexpected post caused me to have a breakdown to be reminded of him so soon after feeling comfortable enough to return plus coming to terms with that he’s wronged me in more ways than I imagined. He fed me lies that I took as truths and has damaged the reputations of several people who are recovering just as I am to this day.

After speaking to Sin and thanking her for her post even though it hurt to see, I spoke to others that I was under the impression of them being awful people and vice versa. We cleared up all misunderstandings between one another and our healing truly began at that point. I love all of them so, so, so very much and I’m happy to call them friends now.

All of this leads us up to two days ago where I received an unexpected message @/outcastedkiller, someone I have never had regular conversations with. I can’t even remember the last time we had a topic outside of discussing artists to commission/showing off art or some discussions of rwby back when the last season was airing. I have always viewed Goldie as a distant friend/associate and while I enjoyed speaking with her, lately I have been having a hard time ignoring red flags like I used to.

I now have her blocked after the following conversation being unable to push aside my growing concerns any longer:

I will now clarify a few things. The post she is referencing is the following with a timestamp:

PLEASE LOOK AGAIN AT THE TIME STAMP AND NOTICE THIS POST WAS MADE FOUR MONTHS AGO.

I have since removed this post like I should have a long time ago, but because of my inactivity I forgot to do exactly that. Next, I’m going to show you all my most recent post that I made before coming back today to show how long it’s been since I’ve been active on this blog.

There is absolutely no reason for any of them to have been looking at my blog when I have not been here. He is fully aware of the fact that I cut ties with him and did not want to be associated any longer, and yet he and Goldie found it appropriate to message me about something four months old.

Not ONLY that, but Komari is FULLY aware of my stance when it comes to people trying to contact me after I have blocked them: to ask first through a third party if I would be alright with a message from them, and only after gaining my approval would the conversation begin. Goldie went straight to messaging me without any context, without even spoken in nearly a month let alone months since we spoke about Komari himself, and sent my anxiety spiraling. Having confirmation that this was Komari’s idea to send me his blogs to block sent me into a complete panic attack. While the gesture may seem innocent on the surface, I must make it clear that this is just another tactic of manipulation and I and several others have seen through it. I have all of those blogs blocked and MANY more that he has retired for my own comfort ever since I cut contact. Because we were so close, I knew about every single one of those blogs and more that he did not list. I am very efficient when it comes to ensuring my comfort, and that means keeping my block list up to date on literally every one of my blogs. So again, he had no reason to send me his blogs to block. None whatsoever.

I am repeating myself, but there is absolutely no reason to message me about a post I made back four months ago let alone when I am inactive. All this has done is caused me and several others grief to where old wounds have reopened. I have not seen his apology that an anon on his blog has spoken about. I do not know who sent him that anon and none of my friends do either. None of this concerns me or them and we do not want an apology. We want to be left alone.

He does not have the right to message any of us asking for anything and should refrain from SELFISHLY involving anyone else. If there is one thing I must apologize to Komari for, it’s for calling Sin’s post a callout in my panicked state because I could not find another word for it.

Even if I had read this apology on his blog (which is no longer found on his ouma apparently and is only located on his deep sea prison multi muse blog now) and I had felt an ounce of truth in it, it would have been immediately revoked seeing him vague me and hound others for information.

If there WAS a callout for him, there is no reason to be looking for it as someone reading about a callout on themselves is definitely not the healthiest course of action. Moving from my professional tone for like, five minutes, that’s like the exact opposite of “not wanting to be involved in drama”. He has shown already that he has not changed at all and no amount of poorly disguised nice “gestures” or words is going to convince those he harmed otherwise. He and Goldie are also blatantly ignoring where I said I meant to delete my post about needing mentions of his tag. This is not a trigger anymore and they should not be insisting that it is. I DO suggest you to block his blogs if you have made it this far for your own safety and comfort, but that is not a course of action I will make anyone take. I make this post to make things clear as to why this is happening and for my friends who still roleplay here on tumblr. Chances are when I do come back fully, I’m going to remake for a fresh start.

Also, if there ever is a callout made about Komari, I will ABSOLUTELY reblog it everywhere possible because of how dangerous he is. Thank you for reading. ** also https://kiboumukou.tumblr.com/post/182940204064/kiboumukou-i-usually-avoid-drama-but-someone is the url for the post that started this whole mess if my hyperlink above did not work correctly.

#drama /#callout /#drama tw #callout tw #ask to tag /#〚》𝔾《 straight from the horse’s mouth ( out of character. ) ✧ 〛

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sundaynightnovels · 5 years

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11/11/11 Tag Game (again!)

aaaand i’ve also been tagged by @fluffythewritingplant for a different set of questions!!! you have a lot of questions huh HAHA but they sound fun so thanks for tagging me in this! <3 1. What is your favorite part of writing? characters! characters interacting!! characters doing things! character dialogues!! characters characters characters! 2. Do you prefer reading or writing? HA i haven’t read a novel in a while. but yea i like them both but... yknow. how bout reading my own writing. i’m narcissistic like that 3. How many people have read your stuff? since the next question is specifically about irl, i’m assuming this is about online??? well, i guess all of yall on tumblr have seen my snippets and excerpts right heh (blatant advertising here) (also in case yall don’t know how i differentiate them, snippets are drabbles that i write outside of my main wip and excerpts come directly from the wip draft itself heh) so yea, all of you!! <3 (i guess?????) 4. How many people irl have read your stuff? kinda mentioned this in my previous 11/11/11 tag, but not much. if it’s school stuff then yea, but if it’s my own personal stuff, not really. maybe like a handful in the past, but right now in the present? no one has read my current wip as of yet. 5. Are there any books or movies that inspired your writing? hmmMMMm. in general i guess studio ghibli (in how they make the mundane little everyday stuff magical, i love that), percy jackson (humour lol), mmmm... i actually really don’t know. i’ve been writing for a long time, so i think everything probably just accumulated and it just culminates in this mess that i call my own brand of writing. my friends (who have read my work in the past) say that i actually have a style -- i’m not sure how true that is HAHA but that’s good to know, but i really have no idea what in particular inspired it. 6. How many WIPs do you have? One (or is it two??? but they are of the same... universe-thing.) OKAY like i’ve finished my first draft of my main novel called like all things out of season, and now i’m working (well, barely) on the companion novel so yea. floating in my head are about three vague forms of ideas though. one of which i have tried numerous times to write but never finished, another is something that i’m like ooooo i’ll write it right after i finish my current one (guess that ain’t happening), and the last is the most vague, most formless one that i just kinda have a feel on but not rly. 7. What are some ideas you had to throw away because you just didn’t have the time to work on them? i’m sure i’ve lost a lot over the years, especially because my memory sucks. also, since my memory sucks... do you expect me to remember these lost ideas??? 8. Have you ever written any poetry? Wanna show some of your stuff? the first time i ever touched poetry was two years ago for a creative writing class. they all kinda suck... do i want to show my stuff??? hmmmmm.... let me take a peek at what i’ve written then well it is pretty cringe but if you wanna read it (scroll through if you don’t want a cringe fest)

(1. don’t ask me about the formatting, idk why i did it this way 2. i think the assignment was... okay who am i kidding, idk what the assignment was about. but i think i just thought it’d be interesting to do a poem using like chinese mythology or something like that. speaking of which, the AU that i wanna write of my novel is kinda also about chinese mythology hmmm... did i say too much) 9. What’s your favorite line/scene you’ve ever written (several are possible of course)? i don’t have a favourite line, but for a scene... i’ve mentioned this somewhere else before (in response to an ask i think), but there was this really important scene that i knew, even before starting my novel, that i had to write and it was simply about this man telling them a story. and i had no idea what i’d write, how it’ was going to play out and everything, but then it came out so beautifully and evocative even though while writing i had no idea what i was doing and i actually felt what i was meant to feel in that story and i just lkjkdlfkjsdlfkd i have a lot of feelings to that and i can’t show it to yall cuz it’s like, the first main turning point of the story. right after that scene was this kinda sleepover-ish scene with Shou and Jun and i loved writing that too because shou was adorable and excited and jun was understandably not impressed and yknow, it was kinda important too in the whole state of things. OF COURSE before that i enjoyed writing the scene where almost all of them (except the female yu) converged together in the noisies’ place and just had a whole lot of mess and fun yeah that entire portion was great because they all happened kinda altogether at once. 10. What’s your favorite quote i don’t think i have one 11. What’s your favorite quote by someone you know? well it’s not my favourite, but it’s the most iconic one that i can remember right now. we were predrinking before going to a club and one of my friends bought vodka, which yknow tastes like nail varnish and is just terrible (i mean... even if you like vodka... you gotta admit, it feels like it can melt your throat off) while others bought like ~~ wine~~ and stuff and she was like “well we just wanna get drunk right so might as well jump straight into it” and that line stuck with me ever since. girl’s got her priorities straight. (if this makes me seem like i like drinking, i really don’t. and i hate wine HAHA) 12. What’s your favorite book? you are a devil. also. no, ain’t answering that. thank you, next. 13. Which book do you regret reading? i had a bunch of them when i was younger, but... i don’t really remember right now. really 14. Is there something you regret writing? when i was younger i once wrote something in the pov of a cat. do i regret it? no. it was really stupid though. 15. If your OC’s were actual people in your life, what would your relationship be like? oh ho ho. zhen would be the laziest friend ever and i’d probably be really annoyed at her because it’ll be impossible to go out and hang out with her, but yknow what? i’m basically the same.

shou would be annoying in a different way, he’ll be so overly-excited and energetic that i’ll just be like... stop. and he’s the sort who’ll go around talking to random strangers on the street and as a massive unsociable introvert, i’ll be drowning there in my shyness and inability to talk as he goes out yammering and yammering about who knos what (true story, i have a friend as sociable as him. even when we’re talking to mutual acquaintances, i’m just there. a statue, meant to decorate the setting in which she’s in) i can’t communicate with kids, so i’ll probably be really really awkward with lu. like really. maybe i’ll talk to him a little bit, but i can foresee it to be a very uncomfortable interaction, at least on my part. lol yu(f). i don’t think i can talk to her either. she’s too stressed out and working too hard and i don’t like to bother people like that, especially if we aren’t friends yet. ren would be really easy to talk to, he’s just so laidback and chill and nice, like he’s probably the kind of classmate you’ll just end up casually talking to when you meet on the way to class or on the way out from class. i don’t know if we’ll actually become friends, but we’ll end up being at least friendly acquaintances. i think i’d probably avoid teng in real life. he’s way too loud and dramatic and remember, i’m an introverted girl who doesn’t like to have attention on herself... and with him, yknow you’re gonna get all the attention. likewise with jun, you’re gonna get so much attention with him. but i think i could be friends with him tbh. he acts aloof and is pretty snarky and prickly but once i get past that (if i ever do, which to be frank i might not), i think we could be friends. i probably won’t be friends with yu (m) because he’s that strong silent type and unless i’m made to sit with him in class, i probably won’t ever start up a conversation with him. i most likely wouldn’t be friends with jia because she’s the really attractive, popular type yknow? she’s a nice person and i’d probably be friends with her IF we ever spoke to one another, but considering chances of that are low, i don’t think we’d end up friends. i’m reusing the above questions ^ and tagging a few more people @insearchof-solace (sorry tagging you back just because i want to know your answer for the last one HAHA) @usuallydecentwriter @sunnydaysarealwaysgrey @farrradays

#personal tag #personal #writeblr #my wips #my OCs #not sure if i should tag this to my OC tags but #hmm #probably not

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mermaidylluria · 5 years

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Warning to all you mers on Tumblr out there: The purge has officially begun. My account just got flagged, and the only things I have on here are my own event photos (which are all family-friendly & fully clothed), and mermaid art (both classical and new, some of which has an LGBTQ focus- and may, at times, *gasp* in some cases feature kissing). So.. just as a heads-up, the whole Tumblog censorship hubub is a real thing. My hope was that in a page FULL of mermaids, it would be obvious what the space was about- that it was absent of pornographic or ANY kind of child-endangering content, n’ be subsequently left alone. But it appears that’s not the case. So now that we know mer art is going to be targeted (after all, “NEKKIT BEWBIES, ER MAH GURD!!”), I suggest we all get ready to either defend our posts (via disputing flagged content), participate in some kind of (peaceful, preferably meaningful & artful) protest, or just leave the platform all together. 'Cause this tells me that they're not only flagging classical art, they're also trying to eradicate LGBTQ content, and NONE of that is okay. Personally, I’m going to do all 3. Fight and dispute, while making preparations to move my space elsewhere. Where that’ll be I’m not sure yet, but if we loose, I want a place for my mermaid stuff to go, and the demigods at Tumblr better be aware, I’m taking my decently-well-known bellydance n’ other blogs w/me too, if I’m forced to leave.

And just for my personal 2 cents on the matter? Dear gods, not ALL of the internet has to be child friendly. XP Censorship like that happening on YouTube, Facebook & now Tumblr stifles creativity (look at channels like Glam&Gore, who can’t barely do SFX makeup anymore because she keeps getting demonetized), silences valuable artistic and minority voices, removes audiences for burgeoning creators (who, btw, may NOT be engaging in pornographic content in ANY way), and forces narrow-minded, puritanical standards of "decency" (which are by FAR the minority), over others' ability to operate successfully in that medium. This smothers decent, AWESOME things like art, science, expression and SO much more. XS See, it’s not about the p0rn. It’s about the CENSORSHIP. This is the internet. It was designed to dispense and SHARE information, ideas, inspiration, fun, etc. Not be a surrogate nanny for your kids. XS

ANNNNYWAY, if you want to read more about what is and is not allowed on Tumblr now, you can visit: https://tumblr.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/231885248. (And be sure to read to the bottom, where users can find out how to appeal post & entire blog flags under the last 2 questions.) And if you have a mermaid blog where ANY kind of toplessness is involved, note that "female presenting nipples" is distinctly mentioned, which, as I'm sure lots of you already know, directly impacts classical AND modern art- one of the few things on Tumblr that can be shared WITHOUT a copyright, as well as a TON of mermaid art, classical and otherwise. XP

What does this mean? Well.. in simple terms, it means that stuff like Botticelli and Picasso are no longer welcome on Tumblr. It means that Reubens, Waterhouse and Rodin, if they have artistic interpretations of naked women in their work, cannot be shared on Tumblr. Even though their works are featured in international museums of the highest callibur, lauded all over the world as legends of innovation, vision, unparalleled beauty, & precision, expression & creativity, and world-famed for their social and economic value. Those.. are not welcome here now, apparently. Meanwhile, images & videos stolen from present-day & other modern hard-working artists, photographers, cartoonists, writers and other creators from allll over the world arrre hunky-dory. XP DaFUQ, Tumblr??? (At -least- they mention mis-attribution & non-attribution on their new guidelines now. That at least, is an improvement. X*)

But now.. let’s see how that’s directly affected my blog, shall we..? ‘Cause, as I mentioned before, I figured surely since I didn’t actually have any pr0n on my pages, I & other mer pages should be safe, right? BZZZZZZZT, WRONG. After getting this e-mail (pictured above), I went through my whole blog and found the 4 posts that were "flagged" as having adult content. *rolls eyes*

3 of them were reblogs &1 was an original post.

2 of those posts were queer-positive modern art.

1 was a photographic collection of pieces FEATURED IN "W" MAGAZINE,

And the last is a piece of classical style, queer-positive art. XS

One of the modern pieces doesn't even show nipples, just saggy bewbies COVERED with small seashells.

The other modern-style piece was a Rackham style drawing, where the tatas are but a mere suggestion of simple lines and dots.

One was shown in a INTERNATIONAL FRICKING FASHION MAGAZINE SPREAD, which was apparently suitable for SOMEONES' interpretation of public consumption,

and the last only shows suggestions & curvatures of breasts! (Showing the side and outer portions of the female chest, with no nipples. XP)

-And WHY AM I HAVING TO JUSTIFY THIS???? THIS IS ART. THIS IS NOT P0RN. Again I say "WTF, Tumblr????" XS

As you can see, 3 of my posts were reblogs, so I had no means of disputing those posts. (According to their new guidelines, the owner of the original post has to do that, and if they are found as having “inappropriate content,” there’s no further means of appeal.) But one of them, one of the very first posts I ever made in this blog, was an original, so I was able to refute its being deemed as inappropriate. FIrst, you have to go through allll of your posts to find.. whatever it is someone’s had issue with. (Whether it’s a person who’s flagged it or something chosen by Tumblr’s algorithms/keyword alert systems, I have no idea.) But they don't even bother to link you in your notification e-mail, so first you’ve gotta FIND what’s being flagged before you can repeal it. (I didn’t even know what I was looking for at first. They never specify. Would it be a tiny new icon near the Edit and Share buttons at the bottom? A wee little flag pointer, outside of the post itself..? Do I got to my posted page n’ try to find it? Or will it be in my Posts stream, & the whole post be red..? Who knows?) But eventually, after enough scrolling, I found what I was looking for. A big red bar across the affected posts. -And if it’s a post you can do something about, they give you a button to push on the designated "flagged" work, at the top right. After you hit the "dispute" button, you’re given a largely blank page. In the center, you get to choose between Dispute, Cancel or Learn More. No “tell us why you feel this should not be flagged, why it doesn’t violate our rules,” nothing. Nowhere to speak your peace. You just hit a button, and you’re done. You get no say, other than “I object, your honor!” NOT COOL, people. NOT COOL. You clearly don’t wanna hear the voices of your content creators, or, at least, enough to allow them to speak for the work they felt appropriate enough to post..

Reading this from another media source? Please don’t discount this issue if you don’t personally have a Tumblog. It doesn't really matter whether you use tumble or not, whether you think it's lame or not, etc. The problem is much, much larger than that, and it’s growing. This is another very large, social media platform that's being affected by censorship in the name of marketing- and thus, be child-friendly. They want the whole family to be able to come and see all the ads they wanna put here, and without that, they don’t make their money. So anything not child-friendly, even vaguely PERCEIVED as not child-friendly (by God only knows whose standards), is being wiped out from the whole platform. Don’t believe me? It’s happened on YouTube, on Facebook, and likely, many others. Do some googling and check it out for yourself. YouTube is a platform that’s being strangled by this phenomenon right this very second. There are videos on it. Go see. Now. ‘Cause if we don’t educate ourselves about this n’ do something to fight it, what’s happening to YouTube is our future. Not just here on Tumblr, but EVERYWHERE.

Big Brother isn't just watching, guys, he's stealing your open arenas for personal and creative expression, so he can better market to you & yer kids. He wants EVERYONE to buy his Stuff. And if the kids can’t see it here, they won’t ask mommy and daddy to go get it for them. So out classical art, and LGBTQ content, and mermaids go. Out the door. (Meanwhile, who do kids love?? UM.. MERMAIDS. HELLO!!! What should be educating them about history and the arts? UMM.. FINE ART, HELLO. Who teaches them about tolerance and diversity and SO MUCH MORE? Umm.. THE LGBTQ community! Who teaches them about what human bodies look like, and that it’s okay to have ANY kind of body? UM.. BODY POSITIVE ART, THANK YOU.)

We need to put the kaibosh on this somehow, now. Not just for Tumblr, or Facebook, or YouTube. We've got to find SOME way of letting the Big Boys know this is not activity we will tolerate. 'Cause the places to freely express ourselves are going to continue to diminish, get scarcer, and fewer.. until they're all.. gone.

ART =/= PORN, YOU IGNORANT, PURITANICAL, MONEY-GRUBBING FISHTITS. LEARN TO POLICE YOUR OWN CHILDREN, MORE EFFECTIVELY POLICE GENUINE CRIMINALS, AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE INTERNET ALONE. Please.

♥

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amazonjax · 5 years

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The persisted concealment of intersex historical artworks within public places of exhibition: 2019, The British Museum, London.

Despite global activism for museums to reveal true records of human history, depictions of intersex historical figures are still considered too ‘lewd’ or ‘inappropriate’ to validate public viewing alongside all of the male and female artifacts blatantly displayed. Such acquisitions are purposefully veiled within the secret catacombs of museum depositories, available for private viewing by appointment only. It could be argued that this persistent Interphobia within museums is a reflection of the medical and cultural attitudes towards this marginalised area of our society today: Intersex anatomies and identities depicted through art are masked, hidden, and sometimes even mutilated if they do not conform to the ‘Adam and Eve’ socially constructed, patriarchal archetype of sex and gender (as is the case with many of the historical Intersex and Transgender artworks that remain in existence today).

For too long intersex existence has been pinned with hands tied, to the binary wall that has been catastrophically and socially constructed around us.

Activists still fight to lift the disguise of male and female sex as the be-all and end-all of human existence, in the hopes that society can unburden itself from the weight of these statue-concealing tarpaulins which conceal our true history.

Our identities have always been a part of historical art and human cultures. The difference is, in the age of international communications and social media, we are now creating unification and safe spaces for our true human footprint to finally emerge, and the message is becoming clear as the volume is increased:

Intersex people will not allow their identities, or their histories, to be erased any longer.

A pure example of intersex erasure:

The British Museum currently has 71 artifacts listed as "Representations of Hermaphroditos" in its inventory. Unfortunately, after checking all pieces online, I found that only five items are currently on public display within this colossal museum. Furthermore, the pieces they have chosen to exhibit are all small broach like cameo's and gems that show vague or obscure representations of the intersex deity - a tiny little nod to the invisible specs of dust they continue to sweep away.

Amongst the many shrouded prints, carvings, playing cards and etchings laying dormant until the scholar calls, are two physical statues which on both occasions have been decapitated. This is something the museum should be highlighting as part of their Ancient Greek collection: the execution, denial and erasure of Intersex identities throughout history as well as showing depictions of intersex history through statuesque art. There are no features or markings to suggest any deity or historical figure is associated with these two statues so they are simply listed as

‘A depiction of an hermaphrodite'.

Hermaphroditos is a Greek deity; a hermaphrodite, in human society today, is what we would call an intersex person, or a person with variations of sex characteristics. The Museum needs to check itself on this one and perhaps add a further description to these pieces to help shed a light on what the word means when applied to an unknown identity in modern-day language. This would help to dissipate the conflations and enable better understanding away from the stigma and shame of a mostly-misleading word that still incites ‘freakish’ or ‘abnormal’ connotations for most members of the public who do not have any knowledge of intersex people existing outside of these false notions. Something polite yet with slightly condescending overtones to match the Museums’s general attitude should suffice:

“Although historically we have used the word ‘hermaphrodite’ to describe all intersex people, there are over 30 different bodily variations, and a spectrum of unique human characteristics that could apply to the 1.7% of our population born with intersex traits. Therefore we no longer generally use the word hermaphrodite to describe these identities as it is considered misleading. Unless the word is being reclaimed by an intersex person themselves, when referring to intersex people or their bodies in the future, we should always use the word ‘intersex’”.

Then again, what is the point of trying to be accurate and informative when these grotesque, anomalous ‘who-knows-what’s’ are safely locked away from the Museum’s tapestry of truth?

A couple of weeks ago I visited the Museum and spent time looking through their collections before eventually asking at the information desk for representations of intersex deities within their collections. The person trying to help me seemed quite perplexed by my initial request yet eventually this friendly faced assistant managed to find two prints on their computer that unfortunately weren’t on display. In recompense I was handed their alternative: a leaflet the Museum has to cover such awkward questions entitled "Desire, Love, Identity, Follow the LGBTQ History Trail".

The online version is here

There are mentions of possible identities that could be deemed ‘intersex’ with notions of forbidden sexuality or figures having ‘gender identities that were regarded as in some way irregular’ or ‘gender dualities’. There are also details of deities that could change sex themselves or affect the sex of other people and descriptions being used such as ‘androgynous mask’. However, the general consensus I took from this guide is that when non-binarised identities are alluded to, there’s always a sensationalist, dark approach towards sexuality and gender, with beings and notions depicted as having the ‘wrong’ type of body; the ‘abnormality’ that exists away from what we have become accustomed to within the male/female binary lie of Human existence. No mention whatsoever of Hermaphroditus or Cybele or The Galli in their ‘LBGTQ’ teachings whatsoever.

As they point out while ignoring their own ignorance:

“Gender and sexual diversity was suppressed by colonial administrators and has often been forgotten, creating the impression that it never existed.”

The Museum anathematizes colonial administrators while falsely claiming diversity itself.

For the record, lots of intersex people identify with the LGBTQ acronym, yet it is clear from the Museum’s stance on this controversial decision to exclude the I or the + from the acronym and their failure to mention the words Intersex, Non-binary or Transgender to speculate on possible identities speaks volumes about how these areas of our society are regarded currently by the British Museum.

Recently, the artist Ela Xora and other supporters around the world protested as it was revealed last year that (to quote directly from the Artlyst article): “religious curators in Cambridge Museums banned ancient non-binary deities like Hermaphroditus and Cybele because their bodies “were not fit for public viewing”, as well as covering naked statues in sheets when certain religious groups of children visit. The worlds most famous classicist Professor Mary Beard, issued a curt one word apology to intersex people for erasing non binary history within the Roman Empire at the University of Cambridge, after Xora publicly challenged her through a performance art piece called “Sleeping Hermaphroditus Hunger Strike”, which saw the artist reenact the most famous non-binary sculpture in the world for 8 days without food, until Professor Beard said “sorry!”. However like Lewis Hamilton, soon after apologising she began to ‘love’ tweets from her fans telling her not to apologise for hiding transgender and intersex history, including one which contained an image saying she should behave like a dog saying “If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away”

Sadly this persistent attitude from scholarly figures and classicists insulates the ignorance we fight to overcome this oppression.

As more and more intersex people and allies join the fight for greater understanding, we are all starting to realise the need for an end to the harmful non-consensual, un-necessary medical surgeries and procedures performed on intersex children in order to cosmetically define their body’s into the male/female binary. Intersex people born with variations of sex characteristics have a right to be treated like any other human being, with dignity, respect, and accuracy. It is why we now ask the British Museum to adopt a new perspective on how it records and displays its inventories; this fine, leading institution of world knowledge should fully examine the details of our past, so that we can present the truth fully to the many generations of our future.

You have 8 million items in your inventory, you display 80 thousand. The worldwide estimated population of intersex people is almost 2%. Surely we need to be seeing more than 5 intersex items on display amongst the 80 thousand exhibits, if you apply my non-maths-person, simple ratio.

Please, British Museum, join the campaign for awareness. That’s all that we ask.

(Link to British Museum online gallery listing ‘representations of Hermaphroditos)

Final note:

The Museum explains in its LGBTQ pamphlet:

“The Museum is beginning to update its collections database so that objects with an LGBTQ connection are more easily identifiable, and language used is more suitable and relevant. Please share with us your own selection of objects from the Museum that you feel have an LGBTQ connection. Help us with our ongoing exploration of LGBTQ narratives in the collection by sharing your thoughts and images using #LGBTQ_BM.“

If you agree that our Human history deserves honest visibility, please retweet/share/Tumblr-ize this post with the #LGBTQ_BM hashtag and let’s all try and affect change where it’s needed.

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krokodile · 5 years

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Tumblr has decided that one of my posts “may contain adult content” and thus is blocked from public view. However, after digging all the way back through to February, there’s no indicator that it’s been flagged. So I can’t contest it.

It’s a fucking movie review post.

I can only assume the bot spazzed out because it contains a review of the documentary “Fagbug.”

Needless to say I’m reposting everything now because I AM SO FUCKING PISSED. Gay activist movies with inflammatory titles are “adult content.”

(I mean, it sucked, but still.)

Aside from that, I can’t find any content that would anger a bot. I mean, if the bot sat down and watched Take Me to the River, it’d probably get mad, but I don’t explicitly discuss any of its content, so...it included a picture of a child in a bathing suit from the waist up? Is that it? Did one of the movie posters look like nudity somehow? Because I looked at all of them and aside from the potentially triggering flesh tones in Happy Death Day’s poster (that creepy baby face sure is sexy amirite) I, again, see nothing.

And since you can no longer access the posts directly the only way to get the content back is to either harass tumblr via email until they allow the post back up or crawl through your posts on your own account, which can’t be done by day, just by page number. I can’t begin to imagine how shitty this is for people who have original content worth preserving.

movies watched in 2018

take me to the river: guys, here’s the thing. horror is my favorite genre and i’m pretty deadened to everything with “shock value” in film. this little indie drama here, though? this genuinely managed to shock me. i was sitting there at one point unable to believe i was actually watching what i was watching.

please keep in mind that i don’t think that scene was included for the sake of shock value; it was relevant and likely necessary. i’m just saying that NOTHING gets to me in that way, and this did.

it’s a fantastic film, albeit one of those annoying enigmas with no real answers. i would love to have an hour alone with the screenwriter just to find out what they were thinking of in terms of backstories. every major performance is perfect - logan miller is incredible. everyone’s performance is understated, natural and authentic. the little girl who played molly - not sure of her name but i recognized her from “louie” - holds her own with some amazing adult performances and is just as authentic as everyone else. robin reigert is quietly devastating, josh hamilton is equally quietly terrifying, richard schiff and azura skye disappear completely into their characters.

the pacing is on the slow side, but it works well for the story. i watched the entire thing with my stomach in knots, having no idea in hell where it was going. on several occasions i genuinely expected a murder. i’m not used to movies this quiet and slow being so unpredictable. i had to keep pausing it to shake off the tension. it’s also incredibly beautiful to look at.

this is one of those indie gems that is absolutely not for everyone - it touches on some subject matter than many would find deeply upsetting. and i think the film means to be deeply upsetting, but again, it’s in a way that’s not for everyone.

i do wish there were more answers, because i have so many questions, but it does guarantee i’ll be thinking about this movie for years to come, so maybe they did that on purpose.

as an aside, i kept thinking that the little girl looked incredibly familiar, and then it hit me. she looks like a miniature allison case.

change the hair color and she’s an absolute ringer.

(i also got a smile out of her name reveal, just because it’s her cousin asking her how to spell it and she starts with m, and for whatever reason i’m like “oh wouldn’t it be funny if we had the same name,” and at the -o i’m like trying to guess, “maybe she’s morgan, or -”; -l “...ha. awesome.” -l-y “well i’m glad they spelled it properly.” dunno why that amused me, but it did.)

it - better than i thought it would be in some ways. it’s not scary at all and the horror aspects are largely bungled, which is a shame because the dude playing pennywise is pretty creepy and could’ve done better stuff with a better script. i hate the changes they made to beverly’s character, and she and the kid from book of henry were so obnoxiously precocious and precious. that said, all the other kids were fantastic, including that kid i generally dislike from stranger things. he was hilarious, and he and the rest of the pack of boys were so natural in their roles you just started to believe that’s who they were. i’m vaguely looking forward to the sequel.

mammoth - a rewatch; it’s still the same infuriating mansplainy trash it was the first time around, but i wanted mom to see michelle williams’s performance, so. the cast really is perfect; that’s the one thing it has going for it.

marwencol - this guy’s photography is amazing, and his story is super interesting, but what kept jumping out at me was how fucking great this dude’s coping mechanisms were, even if they looked a little odd. for example, he has a crush on his married neighbor, so he added a doll based on her to his little village with the intent of having that doll marry the doll that’s his avatar. the woman got weirded out, told him it wasn’t cool - so he dealt with the rejection by creating a sorceress character who blinked the neighbor character out of that universe and hooked it up with that guy’s character. like...that’s the weirdest way i’ve ever seen someone handle rejection, but also kinda the healthiest. he said repeatedly that he had no interesting in actually pursuing his neighbor romantically because he respected that she was married. he never said a cruel word to her, or complained to the camera about her being a bitch or ungrateful or whatever dumb shit people come up with. absolutely no threats or hints of violence. just “i’m hurt by this rejection, so fuck it, i’m erasing her from this narrative.” like...that’s honestly brilliant. don’t know why this stuck with me more than anything else, but it did. i know there’s a drama adaptation coming out soon with steve carell, and i expect that’ll be great.

maudie - i adore sally hawkins so much. i haven’t seen the shape of water yet; i really only know her from paddington, but there’s just something about her that makes me like her. and her performance in this is stellar. i know nothing about maud lewis (besides the fact that i like her paintings) but sally hawkins was easy to fall in love with. sweet, smart, shrewd, just a hell of a mind but also a huge heart.

happy death day - i was NOT expecting to enjoy this as much as i did. it’s really perfectly executed for the type of movie it is. great comedy - one of the funniest onscreen kills i’ve ever seen - genuine danger and stakes (a rarity in groundhog day type movies), and a main character with actual depth; enough so that you actually care about her and want her to survive this movie (i don’t recognize the actress, but she does a great job with the role). and a fucking fantastic red herring that totally caught me off-guard. i was expecting something dumb, a carelessly written splatterfest aimed at the lowest common denominator. (yeah i’m a horror snob fuck you.) actually there’s very little blood/gore, which apparently bothered some viewers, but i don’t think any effect was minimized without it. i had a ton of fun watching it. didn’t expect that.

dunkirk - i’m just gonna say it. it was bad. i’m generally pretty neutral on war movies - for the most part they’re not my thing but there are plenty i’ve enjoyed and plenty i’ve been able to appreciate as good filmmaking even if the film itself wasn’t for me. this movie is just not good. generic war movie created around a truly amazing true story that could have been an amazing film. wasted opportunity.

fagbug - i completely understand why the gay community had worse things to say about this person than heteros did. ugh. stop making actual tragedies about you, stop talking over people and stop acting like an epic victim.

before i wake - surprisingly not bad, could’ve been better. liked it better before the last few minutes. it had some clever ideas and it was fun putting everything together, but having it put together for us takes the fun out of it, and making the kids’ “powers” unambiguous is a little...hard to swallow i guess? but it’s still surprisingly pretty good.

under the arctic sky - random netflix generator told me to watch this and while cold water surfing isn’t something i’m super interested in, the photography is gorgeous. i can’t pretend i didn’t cry like a little bitch watching the one guy surfing under the northern lights. just...the world is just awesome.

original post url

http://krokodile.tumblr.com/post/170571715555

#movies watched in 2018 #MWi2018: fagbug #gay #MWi2018: take me to the river #MWi2018: dunkirk #MWi2018: before i wake #horror movies #horror movies: before i wake #MWi2018: under the arctic sky #horror movies: happy death day #MWi2018: happy death day #MWi2018: marwencol #MWi2018: maudie #MWi2018: mammoth #MWi2018: it 2017 #horror movies: it 2017

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