#she just. isn't used to being responsible for anyone other than herself
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Atelophobia | Matt Sturniolo
Matt Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.
Warning: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!
Requested?: No.
Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
PS.: This is not intended to trigger anyone or an instruction of how to lose weight. Read at your own risk.
PS. 2: Written by a girl - me - who goes through this every day.
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Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.
This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.
This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.
She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.
One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.
Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.
Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.
Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.
How could she not fall in love with her own illness?
So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.
Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.
Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.
She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.
Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.
She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.
Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.
Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.
But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.
Until Y/N met Matt.
Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.
Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.
The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.
Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.
So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.
Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.
Until it wasn't.
Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.
So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.
As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.
It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.
While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.
Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.
"Matt can do so much better than her"
"I really don't know what he saw in her"
"She's going to end up crushing him like that"
"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"
And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.
Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.
Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.
Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.
But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.
Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.
Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.
Comparison was her biggest enemy.
Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.
Why can't I be like her?
The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.
It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.
His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.
His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.
The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.
Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.
"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.
Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.
He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.
Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.
"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.
"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.
Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.
"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.
He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.
"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.
"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."
He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.
Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.
"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."
"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.
"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."
"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."
"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.
Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.
Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.
"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."
Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.
"Okay."
Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.
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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋
And remember to treat people with kindness always!
‼️: If you relate to any of the things that I wrote on this, feel free to send me a message, my DMs are open!! I'm always open to talking to you all. You don't need to suffer alone. You're all super strong, and you got this!! I love you 🩷
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@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife
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#x reader#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#fanfic#fanfiction#imagine#sturniolo#oneshot#fluff#angst#mental illness#matt sturniolo x yn#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew bernard sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt x reader#matt au#matt fanfic#matt#matty#matt sturniolo x reader angst
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Self Centered
Summary: Wednesday realizes just how self-centered she has been. (reader has powers connected to nature)
Pairing: fem!Reader x Wednesday
Warning: slight angst
AN: Love the Wednesday character. Cold emotionless cutoff while also sadistic mean and cruel
"No Wednesday."
Those were the words you'd muttered to the girl before disappearing into the crowd. No. Wednesday was almost unsure how to process it. Since she'd came to this school of miscreants there hadn't been a single person not willing to bend to her will and since you'd started.... whatever it is you have with Wednesday you'd never turned away from any of her desires. So what changed? By the time Wednesday has recovered from the blatant rejection you're long gone and she's left to do nothing but return to Ophelia hall. She goes over the whole interaction again, taking note of your slumped shoulders and baggy eyes. You weren't yourself today, honestly if Wednesday truly thought about it you hadn't been yourself for some time. How long had it been since your demeanor changed? You don't smile at her anymore, you never seek her attention. When was the last time she'd spoken to you before today? She's been so caught up trying to investigate her stalker that she's completely neglected other parts of her life. Entering her shared room she's unsurprised and slightly disappointed to see Enid laying in her bed speaking with Thing.
"I just don't think this color suits your skin tone, the lighter green would go much better."
Thing taps and signs in response causing Enid to gasp.
"You take that back."
Upon hearing the door close the blonde's attention is grabbed eyes locking with black ones.
"Hey Weds, how's the investigation? Did (Y/N) agree to head into the forest with you tonight?"
"No."
The ravenette says as she neatly deposits her things on her side of the room moving towards her desk chair to start her writing hour.
"I'm not surprised."
Enid lets out in response gaze moving back to the display of nail polishes she put out for Thing to choose from. This catches Wednesday's attention, turning in her chair she burns Enid with her glare.
"Why is that?"
"Well she literally almost died during your last 'investigation' when she was stabbed and said "I'm never helping you again Wednesday Addams" while I stitched her up."
Before she continues Enid lets out a sigh muttering she's gonna kill me under her breath before continuing.
"And I'm going to tell you this because you're my best friend, (Y/N) has been unhappy for some time. You treat her more like your minion than partner. You drag her along on these dangerous stunts where she almost always gets hurt yet you never put forth any effort into the relationship, the last few things she's agreed to have been purely because thats the only way she gets to spend time with you. She is tired of it all being one sided so you need to get your act together unless you want to loose this relationship you pretend to not care about."
As Enid speaks its like a light bulb pops above Wednesday's head, recalling past encounters, conversations, and arguments she now finds herself feeling conflicted over. Standing abruptly Wednesday leaves her room, completely disregarding Enid and her writing hour. She needed to find you. It was never her intention to use you, or was it? She'd been approaching this like she would approach anything else but she now realizes that in and of itself is the problem. This isn't anything else. As much as she will deny it she cares for you in a way that is completely foreign to her. Arriving at your dorm room she knocks three times. Waiting only thirty seconds before knocking again.
"I'm coming, I'm coming."
Wednesday bites back her snarky remarks when Bianca opens your shared dorm door. The siren does nothing to hide her disgusted face in turn.
"(Y/N) isn't here. She's always in the gardens during this time. Of course you'd know that if you cared about anyone other than yourself."
That is all the ravenette gets before the door is slammed in her face, Wednesday's eyebrows furrow as she turns on her heel. Just how self centered had she been? In her eight months of knowing you and five months of courting she'd learned little to nothing about you. Besides physical attributes and your general knowledge Wednesday never made an effort to get to know you better lazer focused on the hyde investigation then later her stalker you were always kept on the back burner. For the first time in her life guilt washes over her and it makes her bristle. Her feet move quickly towards the garden, entering she doesn't even have to look following your voice carrying through the flowers. Wednesday can't help the way her lips turn in disgust as she walks, the garden was to bright countless flowers planted aimlessly with no value yet she couldn't deny the health of the garden. Every flower in bloom properly watered and glowing. Coming around a corver she sees why observing you as you sang along the the music coming from your phone. You fingers were at work using your powers to meticulously grow different flowers and plants in healthy soil. You worked diligently so immersed in it that you fail to notice the brooding aura observing you. You fill the flower box you're working on with purple lillies a beautiful contrast to the blue bachelor buttons in the box next to it. Stepping back you observe your work humming in approval before turing to head to a different part of the garden. The moment you spin you freeze eyes meeting black ones you'd never once seen in the garden before. You are truly at a loss of words at the girls presence as she'd never once seeked your company and for a moment you consider pinching yourself. Surely this must be a dream.
"Wednesday? Ummmmm.... what are you doing here?"
"I came to apologize."
Okay now you were sure you were dreaming. You look around before pinching yourself.
"I must be living in the matrix."
You say before looking around again. Not sure if this is true reality. Silence envelopes both of you as Wednesday stares realizing she's never truly had to apologize. Especially not of her own volition. She's stumped on what to say or do but you don't wait long scoffing you begin to walk past the ravenette.
"If this is your way of apologizing spare me."
Wednesday stays quiet denying herself the mean and witty response knowing it wouldn't help her situation as she starts to form words in her brain she follows you past a dead section of the garden three planters tucked away in the middle of the garden that you don't even glance at as you continue foreward. Wednesday pauses for a moment taking in the uncared for section in contrast to the overly cared for garden before moving to quickly catch up with you.
"(Y/N) I apologize for my previous actions. As surprising as it may be I have not realized the fault until now. You are more than my pawn but I have failed to treat you as such. So I hope you can forgive me."
You merely hum in response not taking your eyes off the planter you stood infront of.
"Ok Wednesday."
You dig your figures in the soil trying to decide what would look best in the array of colors before you. Wednesday can tell her words have little affect and the fact that she may of already lost you causes her stomach to unsettle. Not easily detered she sticks around watching you mend the soil before speaking up again.
"That patch back there full of dead plants, why did you walk right past it? You seem very keen on keeping everything else in the garden grown and healthy."
You jump when she speaks honestly surprised that she was still there.
"Ummmm.."
You hesitate before releasing a sigh and turning to face Wednesday.
"It was a patch of flowers I grew for you when we first began our relationship. I grew them in the beginning as a gift symbolizing the start of our bond. I was going to show them to you the first time I invited you to the garden but as your rejections grew harsher and the light of what our relationship truly was shined brighter..... I stopped caring for the flowers. Now the bushes are barren and dead yet still as symbolic as ever."
You release another sad sigh eyes dropping to the ground before turning back towards the soil.
"If you don't mind Wednesday I'd like to be alone. I'm sure you have more important matters to attend to."
More important. The words Wednesday used everytime you've invited her to the garden. Everytime you've asked to spend time together in Jericho. Everytime you've tried to have conversation about anything other than her current obsession. Everytime you tried to engage her in a subject or activity revolving around you. She'd made you feel unimportant.
"No I don't."
Wednesday pauses a moment unhappy with how unstable her voice sounded.
"While I have failed to prove it in the past you are the most important thing in my life. I...... care for you deeply and I do not wish for our relationship to be forgetten, barren, and dead. This is all new to me..... these feelings, this bond.... but I won't allow myself to be held back by my lack of knowledge. So I will sit here all night if I have to. Today, tomorrow, and the next if that is what it takes for you to forgive me."
Your vision becomes cloudy as tears form in your eyes, the once grey sky becoming dark with clouds and as the first drop falls so does your first tear. This was all you ever wanted, effort. Tears fall as your heart pounds in your chest after finally being showed you meant something to the Addams girl and if that wasn't enough the feeling of a hand wrapping around your forarm was.
"I'm sorry mon cher."
Another apology things that were unknown from Wednesday Addams coupled with physical contact something you'd never experienced from the girl.
"I forgive you."
#wednesday netflix#wednesday addams x reader#wednesday x reader#wednsday addams#maybe the beginning of something more#bagdaddyb
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the way that the steph story in showcase '95 #5 is a steph story written by not dixon in the 90s & has some of the best character work that *includes* a lot of the negative traits she was given by dixon && ends up having some absolutely excellent parallels with bruce in gotham knights #1 and yet the only thing people want to use out of it is that she was on the gymnastics team.
okay. seriously, though. the story is that steph is on her school gymnastics team & her mom comes to a meet (much to steph's chagrin) & her mom immediately clocks that her coach is a junkie & steph refuses to believe her at first because to her her coach is a responsible adult (and the safest one she knows) who wouldn't do that & then does some investigating after a kid dies from a car accident after meeting with the coach due to driving under the influence & finds out that not only was he dealing drugs, he didn't think he was doing anything wrong with his double life & steph has to grapple with the idea of how anyone could lead such a double life *while* keeping her own double life a secret. like it has the all the highlights of peak steph characterization to me:
inability to fully divest herself from her biases meaning she refuses to acknowledge at first what's clear to others (see also: unintentional but fantastic parallels to bruce in gotham knights #1)
her shame over her own life circumstances--having an addict mother & criminal father--that she wants to divest herself from completely and pretend they don't exist so she is made completely uncomfortable when people see them because reminders of their existence goes against the narrative of 'being able to fit in with her peers and that she'e not like 'those' people' that steph is desperately trying to hold onto (see also: her immediate backing down on her suspicions when her friends tell her she's overreacting)
steph being a child of an addict while probably logically knowing that addiction is complicated thing, but being a child affected by a parent with addition has a lot of trouble seeing addiction as anything but a poor choice her mother makes and that people she deems good wouldn't be so weak as to make those same choices. steph being a character who is biased and thinks that people can choose their circumstances because she is someone who's just going to choose to be a better person and raise herself above her circumstances unlike her parents who hurt her is chefskiss. to me.
steph's motivations trending towards selfish--she goes after her coach because a kid died, but the crux of her conflict with her coach is about the personal betrayal she felt after her suspicions are confirmed and he was involved, it's more about her versus the death of someone. which is why her double life is juxtaposed against that of her coach/the villain. because steph's decision to be the spoiler isn't about the victims or a duty to them, it's about her. the tendency in her stories to compare and contrast her choice to be a vigilante vs. a criminal choosing to do crime (usually her father) is often used in interesting ways--hidden beneath her steadfast refusal to be anything like them is an uneasy similarity in that she's doing this for her own self-satisfaction more than anything else, much like her father. and her lies being shown in comparison to her coach's lies & steph's lack of internal conflict over her lies in comparison to her coach thinking he did no wrong...it's soo intriguing.
#genuinely this is one of THE steph stories for me.#and you see these traits through so much of her story. it's good.#i could expand more abt the steph/villains motivation juxtapositions tbh it's sooo interesting#but it's like. the comparison/contrast of her motivations to theirs due to her origins#and her interesting relationship to lying & her lack of. hm. remorse? lack of conflict? over lying bc it's so easy for her#to lead this double life
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I've seen people responding to it being pointed out that Daemon is so obviously a worse person than Alicent or Criston by saying that "at least he isn't a hypocrite" or "at least he doesn't pretend he's better than he is." Which is perhaps accurate, but is really just saying "at least Daemon doesn't make any attempt to be a good person or voice any desire to be better."
This leads me to something I've been noticing: none of the team black characters voice or show any regret for their misdeeds while team green characters do so constantly. Daemon never apologizes or show any regret for any of the brutally evil things he does. Alicent on the other hand is constantly looking apologetic and regretful, even when she didn't do anything like in the case of Larys killing his family.
After the eye incident Alicent is extremely regretful and apologetic for her actions while Rhaenyra isn't at all. In fact Rhaenyra's response is to seek out more power through marrying Daemon so that she can more effectively hurt anyone who states an obvious truth. Her children similarly show no regret for escalating that fight, nor seem at all apologetic for having permanently disfigured Aemond.
The comparison is most striking between Criston and Daemon who have semi similar misbehavior that only Criston acknowledges in any way as bad. First in episode 5 they both smash someone's face in. Daemon's is clearly premeditated and his entire reason for being in the vale, while Criston's was planned at most ten minutes before it was carried out and was a response to an assumed attempt to blackmail him. Daemon has absolutely no shame about the murder, even going so far as to try to claim his victim's inheritance. Criston on the other hand is so ashamed that he tries to kill himself. They both also have incidents of misogynistic language. Criston calls Rhaenyra a cunt once and promptly apologizes. Daemon refers to his first wife as a 'bronze bitch' more than he uses her name and calls Alicent a whore. He does not apologize for any of those instances or show any indication that he doesn't think those are appropriate things to call a woman. Finally in episodes 8 and 9 Criston and Daemon each attack a man from behind after he insults their wife. Neither is their best moment, but again Criston is pretty clearly regretful of it, and it seems like he didn't mean to kill Beesbury and that he just forgot how fragile old people are. Daemon on the other hand clearly intended to murder Vaemond and was happy to quip about it and then chuckle when he's mentioned again.
The one sort of exception to this is Rhaenyra's toast to Alicent in episode 8. She does apologize in that scene. However, she isn't apologizing for mistreating Alicent. All she is apologizing for is not helping to take care of Viserys and not acknowledging her care taking previously, which like it definitely means something that she said that, but implicit in what she says is the idea that it's Alicent's role and duty to be taking care of him. There's kind of an implication that Rhaenyra views Alicent as having redeemed herself through serving Viserys when in reality her care taking is just another facet of Viserys's abuse, abuse that is never acknowledged or apologized for. Still I do love that scene and the way it is beautifully, pathetically, sad that Rhaenyra can only connect and forgive Alicent when she's in her subservient role and that Alicent is so desperate for connection with Rhaenyra that she will accept that barest hint of an apology even in the face of all the evidence that it's meaningless.
Now one would think that some characters regretting their misdeeds would be viewed as a sign of them being better people, but I think it actually has the opposite effect. Because the green characters are shown being regretful, their misdeeds are focused on and emphasized. In episode 5 it's possible to forget that Daemon killed his wife at the start of the episode, because it seems like he's forgotten as well. However it's impossible to forget what Criston does because his actions for the rest of the episode are all a reaction to his shame and horror about having just murdered someone. Then in the next episode when Criston has his one instance of misogyny, the entire show pauses to take note of it and wait for him to apologize (which he does!), but on the numerous occasions when Daemon is misogynistic the show breezes right past it, treating it as just a bad boy Daemon moment. Daemon's misdeeds can be enjoyed without an imediate reminder of how evil he is, letting him be a cool fun badass, while Criston's can't. You can't look at him awkwerdly and regretfully standing over Beesbury's body and say 'oh wow, such a badass male wife he really told Beesbury to keep his Wife's name out of his fucking mouth.' Though to be clear I also very much judge anyone who says that about Daemon killing Vaemond.
This is seen again in the eye incident. For most of the audience that goes into the incident not thinking that Rhaenyra is a significantly worse person than Alicent (a reasonable assumption), Alicent being extremely regretful afterwards while Rhaenyra isn't at all, is an indication that Alicent acted far worse than Rhaenyra did. A misreading that is helped by Rhaenyra's call for violence being couched in the 'sharply questioned' euphemism while Alicent's is stated outright. That is perhaps Alicent's most badass scene where she does her best to stand up to her abuser and those who allow that abuse in defense of their children, going so far as to physically fight back (though Rhaenyra perhaps wasn't the best choice of target), but the audience doesn't have any encouragement to see her badassery, instead we're to wallow in her shame at having fought back and watch her shrink back into herself with the implication that that's what she should be doing.
This pattern shows a fascinating tension between the events portrayed in the show and their framing. The show gives us two groups of people who range from very flawed to evil, but they are framed as a group of heroes and a group of villains. The greens are villains and their actions can only confirm that, while the blacks are heroes and their actions no matter how violent can only provide more evidence of heroism. I don't know how much actual meaning can be made from that tension, I wouldn't even be surprised if it was entirely accidental, but it is at the very least interesting enough to note.
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Hey babe, I'm not going for my sad story but I struggled for 2 years ,it's not like success story but Now I have friends, my family I'm feeling good. My others thinks are also perfect. But all I want is to enter void coz I want my perfect dream life so bad , but I have really packed schedule for my school , please tell me something At night I get really tired And slept .
I really want to enter void
OKAY THIS IS FOR EVERYONE TRYING TO (BECOMING AWARE OF) ENTER THE VOID STATE
Heyy! Sorry for the late response 😭😭 school's beating up my ass as well.
Okay, the overrated void community here. So as I always say, void isn't difficult. It's easy as fuck and you always enter it while you fall asleep. Only thing you gotta do is be AWARE in the void.
Well that's where everyone over complicates it. Just become AWARE. Ik it's instant for some people, while some take patience, practice and consistency to enter the void.
Well this applies for the people who take action (action in the sense changing the story they focus on), discipline themselves and do whatever consistently.
And not to the people who know all the info and still choose to complain or procrastinate. Well I don't blame you for being this way, since you're programmed to be this way since childhood, and it's not your fault. But, it's your fault if you know it, and don't program it the way you want it to be.
So I'll be going to give you sone tips that everyone and anyone can use.
TIP NO. 1
SELF CONCEPT
I won't stop mentioning this in my posts. IT'S THE KEY TO MANIFESTING. YOU'RE LITERALLY CHANGING YOURSELF TO SEE THE CHANGE OUTSIDE! I recommend reading @/meraskii posts on Instagram, she explains self concept better than I do, and she's got a challenge you can try it for yourself. I recommend watching these YouTubers
Rita Kaminski
Dylan James
Sammy Ingram
Hyler
Kim Velez
Indigo Detry
Manifesting with Kimberly
Manifest it, finesse it
Electrasoul
They're excellent coaches, you can watch their videos. All of their videos changes your lives!
TIP NO. 2
Read COPY OF ROTTEN'S PRACTICAL GUIDE TO SHIFTING REALITIES
Here's, she explains very well of the infamous FOCUS 10 STATE, which is nothing but MIND AWAKE, BODY ASLEEP state. Try using Monroe's gateway tapes, she's linked it in the guide herself. Follow her instructions. It's really good to use it at the night time especially. But don't use it if you're really tired that you fall asleep when you hit your head at the pillow. Use it when you're more relaxed and not tired.
Use it till you effortlessly enter the focus 10. Again don't ask me 'hOw LoNg Do YoU tHiNk It TaKeS?' Tf?? Like literally, people don't understand the meaning of living in the end??? Like fulfill it this moment and fucking let go. For some people, because of their mindset might get into focus 10 in one listen or one try. Others may get it in a week, in a month, and longer. So have patience. Have some self discipline, and maintain consistency. It's like practicing to play piano. You won't get how to play it in one try, you'll practice it everyday until you get it. The same concept. Get your lazy ass up and go do it. Practice this now, for an eternity of bliss.
Like you know how useful this focus 10 is?? Like you can shift realities, get into the void, manifest whatever the fuck you want and so on. It's literally wonderful.
When you can get into focus 10 effortlessly, you can go to advanced focus 10 tape. There's proper instructions in the guide. Get your lazy complaining ass go through the guide once (compulsorily!) since she's mentioned many things you never know you needed.
After you practice with these gateway tapes, and you're perfectly in a state where you can get that BODY ASLEEP MIND AWAKE state, you're good to enter the void with this state!
TIP NO. 3
Enter the void! And fucking go live your dream life! I wanna see y'alls success stories.
- Olivia 🤍
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No Benefits
Bucky Barnes x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Sharon Carter
Summary: Reader and Bucky are best friends until a drunken hook up. Bucky wants a friends with benefits situation because he doesn't feel ready for a relationship but reader knows that will lead to a broken heart.
Then Sharon Carter comes to work with them.
Notes: Steve and Tony are around but retired, everything else is mostly canon
Chapter 5
Warnings: swearing, angst
It was almost 8pm when Sam sat down to eat dinner in the compounds dining room with Steve, Clint and Nat. They were all exhausted, having been awake since 3am trying to get a lead on Bucky and Sharon's whereabouts.
He craned his neck and looked around the crowded room.
"Hey, has anyone seen Cookie? I stopped by her office earlier but haven't seen her since. She has a bad habit of working through meals and bed time."
The others all shook their heads and mumbled something in the negative.
Sam frowned "I should take some food up to her, maybe remind her to get some sleep."
Nat scoffed "She's a grown woman, she can take care of herself. Besides, it wouldn't hurt her to skip a meal. Or two."
Sam gave her an off look "What the Hell Romanoff? Cookie's gorgeous as she is, why are your claws out? Still miffed Barnes was giving her so much attention?"
Nat smirked "Was being the keyword in that sentence. Watching that little social climber being iced out by the Winter Soldier has been a source of great joy for me. She should have stayed in her lane with the other nerds instead of trying to sleep her way up."
Sam shook his head "Mee-ow, Romanoff. Didn't realize you felt so threatened by her. Well I'm going to look in on her. See you around."
Sam went into the kitchen to make a plate for Cookie before heading up to her office.
Clint looked at Nat "What is your problem with Cookie? She's a sweetheart and the best analyst here. I'm gonna hit my rack while I can. Later."
Nat sat with Steve for a few more minutes before standing up. "I have some leads to look into. See ya."
Steve shook his head at his friends strange behavior but wrote it off as stress over the missing agents and dove into his food.
Sam left the elevator on the mission support floor and was surprised to find Cookie's office locked up, lights out. He figured she must have gone to bed and headed for her room. He knocked on her door and when there was no response he felt like he needed to be sure.
"Friday? Where's Cookie?"
"Agent Y/L/N left the compound with Agent Iris Daniels at 1:17 this afternoon."
"Wait, what? She's gone?"
"Yes Captain Wilson."
Sam shook his head "This isn't good. Why would she just leave?" He mumbled to himself, before asking
"Friday, did she leave any word of where she was going or when she would return?"
"I'm sorry Captain Wilson she didn't."
"Fuck! Friday, can you find her?"
"I'm on it, Captain."
"Where's Stark?"
"Mr Stark is in his lab."
"Can you tell him I'm on my way there. We need to talk. And tell Rogers too."
"Of course, Captain."
Sam hurried up to Tony Starks lab, followed by Steve.
Tony looked up "What's up, Captains? Any leads on Carter and Barnes?"
Sam shook his head "No, there's another problem."
Tony tensed "Now what?"
"Cookie is gone. She left early this afternoon with one of her analysts. Didn't leave a note or tell anyone where she went. I tried to call both of them but it went straight to voicemail. Considering the tension between Cookie, Bucky and Carter this seems to have gotten more serious. Cookie knows more about the classified workings here than anyone else. Carter might find her useful."
Steve tried to protest "I'm sure Cookie is just following a lead, I doubt she's in any kind of trouble. Just because she had a falling out with Bucky, doesn't mean he would let anything happen to her."
Tony closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Really Rogers? I know you're not around much but Barnes and Carter have effectively iced Cookie out, she's with Sam more than she's with Barnes." he rubbed his neck
"Friday, any clues where they might have gone?"
"No, boss but Captain Wilson started a search for her and the agent she left with. I'll let you know if I find them."
Sam looked at Tony "There has to be more we can do than sit here waiting for one of them to pop up in Fridays search."
Tony sighed "Friday, how did they leave the compound?"
"They took one of your cars, boss."
Tony shouted, Sam and Steve flinched "That's it, find that car."
"I'll notify you when I do Mr Stark."
Tony notified the rest of the team to suit up and be ready to go as soon as they had a location.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bucky woke up with a start, he could feel that he was sitting on a dirt floor, against a cold concrete wall, wrists bound behind his back with some kind of handcuffs that he couldn't get out of. Ankles bound together as well. He opened his eyes and the room was dark with a musty, earthy smell. He couldn't see much and concluded he was probably in a basement since there were no windows.
He shook his head to try and clear it.
He remembered talking to Sharon after waking up in a cabin upstate but when he tried to remember anything else his head started pounding again and he gave up.
Bucky decided to see if he could find anything and pushed against the wall to stand up. He kept next to the wall and took small steps around the room to see if he could find a way out or if there was anything he could use as a weapon.
He bumped into what felt like another wall but he couldn't see it, even though his eyes were adjusted to the dark, and it seemed too close to be a wall. He shuffled along next to it until he came to another corner.
Bucky snapped around when he heard a door open then flinched when a light came on.
"Aahhh, you're awake finally. Your little friend is still out so we will have to wait to get started."
Bucky moved towards the voice and ran into a clear wall but could see her on the other side of the wall smiling. He growled when he couldn't push through the wall. "Sharon? What the fuck is going on?"
Sharon chuckled "Oh Bucky, poor confused baby. I'm not a Bond villain who is going to explain my whole plan while you figure out how to escape. You'll just have to wait and see. Don't worry your precious Cookie should be awake soon."
She motioned her head to his right.
Bucky felt like he couldn't breathe when he saw Cookie tied up on the floor and unconscious, in a second, smaller room with clear walls. Sharon approached her and dumped a bucket of water on her before leaving that room and sitting on one of the steps that led upstairs.
Cookie jerked and spluttered awake when the water hit her "Wh what th th the fuck?"
Sharon clapped happily "Oh good, you're awake. Don't worry, this won't take too long. I'm just so excited that we finally get to do this."
Bucky slammed his shoulder against the wall with no effect. "Dammit Sharon, let her go. She doesn't have anything to do with this. You have me, I did everything you asked so just leave her alone."
Sharon giggled "That's not true, you refused to kill her for me but don't worry, we're going to fix that today."
Bucky shook his head "No Sharon, you don't need to do this. You already have me."
Sharon sighed "Typical man, thinks it's all about him. Did it ever occur to you that the head of intel might be valuable to bad actors? Her head has so much information, more than anyone except maybe Fury."
Cookie spoke up "You're crazy if you think I'm telling you anything. I don't care if you torture me. You won't get anything from me."
Sharon laughed "You know, most of the people who say that end up spilling their guts when it starts to hurt. That's ok, I have other options. Antonia?"
A woman came down the stairs to stand next to Sharon, Cookie did a double take "Antonia? Dreykov? But that's Iris? What are you doing here? You said we-" she shook her head "You're the mole. Why?"
Antonia pulled off the photostatic veil to reveal her own face and smiled "For my father, to bring the Red Room back to its former glory. Once you're gone, I'll take your job and be able to access all the top level intel you refused to share. If you had just let me in, you wouldn't be here now."
Bucky slammed himself against the wall separating him from Sharon. "No, please. You can't kill her. I'll go with you willingly, I'll be yours, just don't hurt her."
Sharon smirked "You will come with me either way. We've been tweaking the mind control serum that Dreykov created so you shouldn't be able to break free like you have been. The Super soldier serum helped you keep waking up from the mind control but we've found a way to compensate for that so you won't even be sad your precious Cookie is dead." She winked at him "Or that you killed her."
As if on cue Natasha descended the stairs with her sister Yelena and handed a small tranq dart to Sharon "Here's the serum for Barnes. Let's get this over with before Stark figures out where we are."
Bucky stared at Natasha "Why are you doing this? Betraying the Avengers, hurting more innocent people?"
Nat smirked "I told you all of it, don't you remember? The morning after you fucked her.
***Flashback***
Bucky woke up from one of the best nights sleep he had ever had and smiled when he felt a warm body next to him, Cookie. He pulled her into him, amazed that she was here in his bed. That she wanted him too. He could tell the sun wasn't up yet so he closed his eyes and dozed off.
A little while later he woke again, needing to pee, so carefully extracted himself. When he was done he saw the time and hurried to meet Steve and Sam for their morning run.
When he got to the lobby he saw neither of them were there so decided on a short run so he could get back to Cookie. He smiled as he thought about her cuddled up in his bed and spending the day in bed together.
Before he was through the doors he heard Nat calling him. She propositioned him but he refused and told her about him and Cookie.
Nat frowned and shook her head "I have to apologize in advance then." She pulled something out of her pocket and gently slapped his neck.
Bucky pulled back "Owww, what was that?"
Nat sighed "A serum that Dreykov used to control the Widows."
Bucky looked at her, confused "Mind control? What are you doing, Nat? I- whu" he closed his eyes and when he opened them they were emotionless.
Nat grinned "Soldat?"
"готов подчиниться" Ready to comply
Nat smiled "Good boy. Now take your run, then go tell Cookie you just want sex, make some excuse up. And then stay away from her, Sharon will be here soon to be your handler. Once all is said and done, Cookie, Sharon and the rest of the Avengers will all be dead and you will be by my side. The Black Widow and Winter Soldier, running SWORD, HYDRA and the Red Room together."
Bucky nodded.
She showed him a picture of Sharon and repeated "Handler"
Then she patted his cheek "Go on, Soldat. Complete your mission."
Bucky nodded "миссия" Mission
Nat shook her head "That won't do. Soldat? I need you to act like Barnes or this won't work. Relax"
Soldat nodded and smirked "Of course, Natty. I'll take care of everything for you."
Then jogged off around the lake before heading back to the compound to break Cookies heart.
***end Flashback***
Bucky shook his head "Why did you make me hurt Cookie? I would never do that, I'm in love with her."
Cookie gasped "But-"
Sharon snapped "But nothing. I'm bored" she went into the room where Bucky was. He tried to fight her but with his arms and legs bound she was able to get close enough to hit him with the dart. She quickly backed away and Nat pushed a button that lowered the wall between Soldat and Cookie.
"Soldat?"
Bucky stood up straight "готов подчиниться" Ready to comply
Cookie cried out "No, Bucky please. Don't let her do this. Bucky!!"
Natasha glared at Cookie and clicked on a remote that unlocked Bucky's restraints "Enough of your whining. Soldat, kill her."
The Soldat nodded and then turned to Cookie who was cowering against the wall. She tried to push herself up to standing but the Soldat was too fast and wrapped his vibranium hand around her throat and lifted her up until her feet couldn't reach the ground.
Cookie looked at the cold face of her friend, the man she had loved for 2 years and rasped out "Bucky. Please." She looked into his emotionless eyes and she realized this was it, she closed her eyes and tried to say "I forgive you" as she lost consciousness.
Chapter 6
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#james bucky barnes x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#angst with a happy ending#james bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#no benefits
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Okay so Trey in the Blotpocalypse timeline or where Yutu comes from also Overblotted right??
And I like to imagine he became an extreme sadist or really really evil once he overbloted, and his Yutu does NOT buy the stories of Trey being actually a very chill and “I don’t want problems, don’t involve me with whatever shenanigans you have” guy.
And when goes to the timeline of now he just.
“Wait, this guy fr??? I saw this guy overbloted and being a sadist maniac, the FUCK you mean he is just the son of the baker”
¬‿¬ you read my mind camrastuff. Overblot Trey is a sadistic bastard, and his children are three of his favorite people to pick on... because yeah the original idea for Trey! Yutu passed peer review, and Furubatsu was kind enough to give us the names Yutres and Yushi for the other two triplets. You will regret giving me this power because I am going to use it to hurt you ψ(｀∇´)ψ
notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. This post is heavier on the angst than the other Yutu posts and contains references to gore, depression, and major character death. Please engage responsibly.
They grew up associating home with violets.
Yuu would always keep a few plants on their bedroom windowsill, but the violets spilled all over the house. "They remind me of your father." They would always say, with a gentle look in their eyes that turns sad when they reach for the memories that just aren't there. As the triplets grow, they take turns caring for them so Yuu can rest and wonder about what that man was like and how Yuu came to associate him with the flowers. Yutres is the one who brings up their association with newlyweds and wonders if they were planning a wedding.
"There would be a record of it if they got married." Yushi says it like she's searched for the license already, and knowing his sister like he does Yutu is pretty sure she has. Yutres pulls her blanket around herself in embarrassment and Yutu finds himself speaking up before she can feel any worse.
"She was just saying it's romantic." Yutu doesn't like fighting with his sisters. He likes it even less when they fight with each other, everyone who isn't the two of them says it's because he's the oldest. That he has an instinctive need to protect them as their big brother, . "A lot of the things they say about dad are very romantic." Yushi rolls her eyes, but doesn't disagree. Domestic is the word Yutu would prefer to use for how Yuu talks about his father. They think about him most when they're cooking or taking care of him and his siblings. It's not enough to give him a clear picture of the man, but it's enough to feel like he might have loved him. He's willing to go with what Yushi theorized after looking far harder than he or Yutres, that Yuu ran away from home and settled down with their dad, only for him to die and ruin the good future they were trying to build with each other. It does nothing to dissuade Yutres from seeing it as romantic, or Yushi from blaming him for all their problems. Yutu refuses to take sides, forever the peacemaker destined to drown his own opinion under the weight of not wanting to make anyone mad. Deep down though, he doesn't care about what his dad was like. He just wishes someone was there to help, to make things less financially strained so he could play a sport at school and maybe make some friends.
When he meets his father he takes it all back. He wishes he never met the man at all.
Yutu per tradition is the oldest sibling, Yutres is the second born and Yushi the third. I like to think they have darker colored hair since Trey's green hair is rather dark, their eyes are "normal" for Yuu's world but turn yellow when they arrive in Twisted Wonderland. Yutres inherits Trey's height and poor eyesight, and she's deeply insecure about both due to the large amount of bullying she received growing up. Yutu is also tall, just not as tall as his sister while Yushi is at least a half foot shorter than her siblings and enjoys complaining about it. She accuses her siblings of stealing her height in the womb, but says it's ok because she got all the brains.
The kids grew up extremely poor. Three kids on a single parent's salary is no joke, Yuu was deeply stressed for a lot of their younger years. None of the fyuuture kids like Yuu's home town but the triplets especially hated it there. They felt like animals in a zoo or cast members of a freak show with how acceptable it was to point and stare at them. When they moved away once Yuu managed to secure a place with a better middle school for them to attend they were ecstatic. It was a nice change of pace to just be bullied for being poor.
They spent a lot of time as children playing made up games with each other, a lot of them revolved around cooking since Yuu seemed to really like doing that. They used to run pretend restaurants, or ice cream parlors, or cafes, anything that served food really. They always colored the menus together and asked Yuu to give them good reviews (5 stars for the babies obviously, yuu has a bunch of them in a folder somewhere they look at when things get rough)
I really like the idea of Trey being with a Yuu who has a vague interest in candy making? Because it's a similar interest to baking but still very different and I really like the idea of one of the triplets being interested in it. As the three get older, Yutu and Yutres learn as much about cooking and baking as they can, from Yuu, from the internet and the local library while Yushi applies herself more to experimenting with making things like taffy and caramel. She convinces her siblings to sell their product on the down low at school to bring in some money they can hopefully use to start a business someday. She's the most business minded of the three of them, Yutu privately thinks she has the biggest personality in an effort to make up for being the shortest.
The three of them are obviously major sweet tooths, but they disagree about what desert is best. Yutu loves custards and ice creams, Yutres thinks cake is best especially if it's fluffy, and Yushi likes things made with jams and candied fruits. It made trying to do something for their birthday a nightmare until Yuu realized they all loved hot chocolate and was able to convince them to have a "tea party" for their birthday where they got copious amounts of hot chocolate and some homemade cookies. It's a memory they all treasure and recreate when they arrive in Twisted Wonderland.
That arrival is much easier on the three of them than it is on a lot of the other Yutus. It helps having two other siblings you're deeply connected to when learning you're from another world, your parent is dying from a curse, and that magic is real but only two of you have it. NRC has ceased to be a boys only or even a mage's only school at this point, but it's still hurts for Yutres to learn that her siblings have something special about them while she's still just her. Crewel takes her aside to speak with her as the ceremony goes on without him, asking her if she thinks poorly of Yuu for just being themselves and Yutres can't fathom why she would do that. "Because that's what you're doing to yourself. Your siblings won't love you any less and you won't be of any less help. You are your parent's child after all." Something that Crewel sees as being made all the more true when two first year Heartslabyul students burst through the door and start whining for their sister to do their make up.
Yutres draws a Spade on Yutu to represent a knight's spear, because she thinks of her brother as someone who wants to protect people, and she's deeply grateful for all of the times he's stuck up for her. Yushi gets a diamond because Yutres thinks her sister is very classy and well put together, "diamonds are a girl's best friend or something" is how she words it, but that trademark Clover smirk is there to suggest there's more to it than that. She settles in to Ramshackle almost immediately after meeting the ghosts, who are overjoyed to have another Yuu in their happy haunt.
Heartslabyul suits her siblings well enough. Yutu thinks all these rules are exhausting but he tries his best to do his best so as not to rock the boat. Yushi is more or less the same, but she sort of wants to become Dorm Leader so she can throw a bunch of Unbirthday Parties because those sound fun. The lack of fresh food available to cook with is a drag sure, but she's sure she can at least find some good teas to serve... she just feels like the people around her could use some hope and she drags Yutu into figuring out how to find it.
That journey is long, at the end of it are six known phantoms wreaking havoc on their father's world and one that so few people know about they aren't sure he exists. At some point, all three triplets join a mission to the Queendom and debriefed by S.T.Y.X. about the phantom that roams there.
"Your quest is not to kill the Queen or her mini boss level minions." Idia is a strange person, Yutu can tell he's on the same page as his sisters without bothering to look. "You're just there as support for the front line mages and to get a realistic idea of what they're fighting against." He lets his hands fall to his sides and drops eye contact, chewing on his lower lip as he hesitates. Finally he takes a deep breath and turns towards the display, flicking through footage of the various monsters he had been talking about earlier. "A phantom is a husk using what's left of an overblotted mage to find and feed off of new magic sources. They can get very creative in how they do that." He focuses on a video of the Phantom Hatter, enlarging it so the triplets can get an uncomfortable look at it's facial features and know why Idia was struggling to talk to them. The monster is tall, with glasses and a top hat that would be sort of comical if he wasn't overseeing a table filled with rotting cakes and pastires for a party attended by corpses in varying states of decay. "This one talks. Don't listen to a word it says."
Trey has lines during lessons and in various other places suggesting he could never obey the Queen, and since Riddle is more Queen now than himself Trey has a degree of independence when compared to the other card soldiers. The S.T.Y.X. staff classify him as a rogue phantom and highly dangerous. He can talk, he uses his unique magic to make people confused about their surroundings, to mimic the voices of their loved ones and lure them towards packs of monsters where he'll watch silently as they die. He's picky about who he "invites" to his mad tea party, it's difficult to get a drone close enough to his base to analyze who the victims are.
Idia was vehemently against sending the Clover triplets anywhere near an area that the Hatter could be. That's beyond cruel to them and extremely dangerous, he just knows that Trey will find them and that it won't go well. Phantoms corrupt the natural instinct of the person they're feeding off of, and while Idia thinks Trey was always a sketchy bastard he knows that he was a domestic one too. If there's enough of him left to recognize his children... his worries are soothed by Ortho promising to keep an eye on them and the fact the mission isn't in Trey's usual territory.
It doesn't help. A familiar sees the strange looking children and speeds off to fetch its master. The Phantom Hatter doesn't show himself immediately, he watches, waits for everyone to relax just a little bit before he strikes, chasing everyone into one of the Queendom's many hedge mazes and isolating them from one another. The stress causes Yushi to discover her unique magic as she desperately tries to feel for her siblings, she is able to form a brief telepathic connection with someone she knows and see things as they are. She can tell that Yutu and Yutres are in danger, and decides to run for her brother first. She's sure he'll be half way to their sister by the time she finds him, he's the oldest. He always knows what to do. And while she's right she's also wrong, by the time she finds Yutu he's already found Yutres, but someone else has too. The Hatter doesn't blink. He doesn't breathe either she notices, but her sister still shrinks back, pulling an injured Yutu closer to her.
"Well that's just rude." It's not a voice they've heard before, but he's somehow so familiar. Like they heard this voice before, sometime long ago, whispered into the warmth that existed before they were torn from this world to be born in another one. "I'm just trying to say hello." Yushi doesn't think he's noticed her yet, she focuses on holding her breath and looking for a way out. Yutres maintains eye contact with the monster as she applies a potion to Yutu's wound and prays, to who or what she doesn't know, that he heals. "Have we met before? You seem awfully familiar." The monster summons bones up from the ground, closing in around the triplets and knocking Yushi out of hiding as the phantom looks over his shoulder to tip his hat and wink. It's an opening Yutres immediately takes, throwing Yutu behind her and jumping to hit at the monster's rib cage, landing a blow that causes a sickening crunch.
"RUN!" Yushi screams, she thinks she grabs her sister and brother's hands and drags them on instinct and adrenaline back to the base camp until a senior smites down the phantom the Hatter had mimic her sister and takes an unconscious Yutu to the medical tent.
Ortho tries to track down Yutres, but he's unsuccessful. It's months later when Idia finally thinks to send drones to check what's left of the Clover family bakery and finally finds her body. She's been laid in a children's bed, covered with a blanket. He can't tell if what's left of Trey couldn't bear to look at his dead daughter or if the phantom thought he was just putting her to sleep. It's too much even for Idia, he personally retrieves her and helps the surviving kids plan the funeral. It's not the first time he's felt responsible for getting someone's child killed, but it's the most personal.
Yutu's numb. Yushi is looking to him for guidance, and he doesn't know what to say to comfort her or to make it better. They're missing a part of themselves and are much too quick to agree to Idia's plan to send them back in time, their parents are the last thing on their minds they just want their sister back. When Yushi arrives in the Queendom she's able to tell where everyone is and go searching for them. When Yutu arrives at NRC he's terrified he's lost his only remaining sister, and that's before he has to deal with his dad.
Trey is a freak, but he's a domesticated freak. A domesticated freak who is deeply in denial about being in love with you or anything other than normal. He appreciates that Riddle feels comfortable enough to invite you to Heartsabyul, whether it's for a casual tea or for an Unbirthday party since it saves him the trouble of having to do it himself and you're always so eager to help... but then Yutu arrives and suddenly your attentions are a bit split. You still come around for the parties, but casual teas are becoming less and less. He tries to tease you about it, asking where else you're going to get your cakes from and that's when you mention it. "Oh Yutu bakes a lot and he's really good at it. I always feel bad for bothering you so, it's nice to not have to do it so much anymore." Oh? Well isn't that just cute, Trey isn't bothered by this at all. He might not think there's a difference between something bought from a store or something "made with love" but he certainly thinks there's a difference between him and another guy. And he wants you to choose him.
Yutu is terrified of his father. He still has nightmares of what happened to Yutres, and he's afraid he's lost Yushi now too. No one had much to say about Trey in the future, most all of his friends were either dead or phantoms and while Grandpa Crewel was enthusiastic in describing his interest in science he didn't give them much backstory. Idia never spoke poorly of him, and tried to impress on him that what killed his sister was a monster using his dad's magic and not actually his dad but when that thing kills your sister...
He doesn't know what to make of him. Trey's extremely chill so long as no one is causing trouble, he convinces himself to keep an eye on the Phantom Hatter, but he doesn't see any signs of that. The guy is really weird about teeth, and definitely in denial about his feelings for his parent but he is, weirdly enough, closer to that word Yutu would have associated with him before he came to Twisted Wonderland than he is anything that would describe that monster. He's domestic, a guy who looks like he'd be more at home in socks and sandals than surrounded by corpses. He overworks himself and takes naps on the Guest Room couch, he confesses that he was hoping to join some sort of cooking club but settled for the science one, and the way he looks at Yuu when he thinks no one is looking is so soft Yutu wants to choke. Idia's original warning, that a phantom isn't a person anymore and that the monster will do anything to convince you otherwise. But what would his sisters think if he ever thought about forgiving him?
"Is there a specific reason you wanted to grow violets?" Trey tries to keep his voice down, but Yutu still starts when he hears him. He didn't jump 10 feet in the air this time, so he likes to think he's making progress, though towards what he doesn't know. Yutu looks at the flowers, Trey can't see his eyes, but his grip on the watering can is tense. "Not judging, just curious." He tries to soothe him in the same tone of voice he would one of his younger siblings, and it does seem to work somewhat. "I really like them myself."
"My sister..." Yutu chokes on what sounds like a half sob, and Trey immediately regrets trying to help. "My sister really liked them she... she always thought they were romantic." The past tense catches Trey's attention immediately and something in him aches, he couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose one of his own siblings and he does talk about them a lot... was he being insensitive? Did he hurt Yutu by reminding him of his sister?
"Are they?" He isolates a few particularly well tended blooms and snips them to add to his basket next to Riddle's strawberries. "I'm not really good with those sorts of things." Yutu snorts, and Trey can't help but feel slighted somehow. "To me they just taste good."
"They taste good?" Yutu squeaks. He sounds indignant and Trey just shrugs.
"Yeah, candied flowers are really popular in the Queendom of Roses. I really like candied violets, ha when I was a kid I didn't realize you needed to cook them first and my parents had to stop me from eating them off the ground." There's quiet for a moment, Trey wonders if he's pushed it too far but Yutu's mouth finally lets out a small noise before he breaks into loud peels of laughter that sound like a weight is lifting off of Yutu's shoulders.
The first thing Yutu thinks when he hears about his father eating flowers is how Yushi tried to do the same thing when she was little. The second is how funny Yutres had thought that was, how she had smiled and laughed and Yutu cannot keep himself from laughing as well. How did this man become that creature? Did the loss of his home hit him that hard? Yutu doesn't know, but he's not afraid anymore. Some of his tension lifts, Yuu tells Trey during one of their hang outs that he's started speaking about his sisters more and that they now know he's a triplet (trey: wow those poor parents yuu: i know right? i could never). He starts getting into lighthearted (from his perspective anyway) spats with Trey over who can bake better. Trey says he has no complaints because he doesn't have to make as much for Unbirthday Party's now but ooooooh he'll be so upset if you say you think Yutu is better than him. If that was the case why's the little shit so interested in listening to what he has to say huh? And how did he pick up on Trey's feelings enough to reassure him he's got nothing to worry about?
The truth about Yutu is revealed during another monster attack. It happens during a science club trip to Crane Port, the sky grows eerily dark, and Yutu tenses out of instinct. Everyone else is confused, is it going to rain? And why is Yutu sprinting away from the group like a bloodhound with a scent? Rook is the one to give chase, Trey tagging along begrudgingly determined to keep the two of them from causing more trouble. But a bunch of trouble is exactly what they find, a monster that resembles an undead, overblotted version of Yuu is thrashing about as a group of... mages they don't recognize attack them. Trey and Rook prepare to help when Yuu notices them and their eyes narrow onto Trey and two of the unfamiliar looking mages absolutely lose it.
Yutu's disguise is knocked off, and Yushi was never wearing one to begin with so it's difficult to deny the similarity between the two now that Trey has a look at them. It's the eyes that he notices first, yellow just like his but bereft of glasses. Yuu's story about Yutu being a triplet rings dully in his mind as the fake Yuu fades from view, banished back to wherever it came from and Trey closes his eyes to do some math.
"There's one of you missing." It's not the statement they're expecting clearly, all justifications for their existence die on their tongues as they exchange a painful glance. Yushi was able to use her magic to see some of what Yutu's life was like at NRC, and she warmed up to what she saw of her dad much faster than Yutu did. Yutu doesn't want to be the one to tell Trey he killed their sister, but he also doesn't want to push that burden onto Yushi so he steels himself, and explains his story. Trey listens and he thinks. He's silent, arms folded as Yutu stumbles through his story before he interrupts his grief by pulling both of his children into his arms. He's a big guy, but they're big kids and he can barely get his arms around them both but he still feels empty.
Trey hates doing work he isn't responsible for, but he loves his family and doesn't see them as constant work. Three children? That Yuu was forced to raise by themselves? Unacceptable, the closer he has been getting to Yuu the more plans he's made for the future he wants with them. He knows what he wanted for these kids, and none of it is what they're describing. Trey might not want to be the best of all time, but he still wants to be the best he can be. Changing the future sounds like a big ask, something that Trey Clover should see as none of his business and easy to ignore. But it's not, it's different when it's his own family. If Idia thinks he's scary now just wait until three Clovers show up on his doorstep demanding he get in their party and stop the apocalypse. Four technically if you count yourself, something they really hope you do.
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What just bothers me simply about the discussion of TTPD being all so great is neither the fact that some reviewers literally ignore some of the very gruesome lyrics this album has to offer nor the fact that the whole album has the same tune and I could not tell apart these tracks even if I wanted to, no. After all, we can always argue that tastes are different... arguably. It's something utterly different that's bothering me.
It's three things entirely different.
1) The fact we pretend 31 break-up tracks, written entirely out of the perspective of victimhood, of some love stories are worth calling "The Tortured Poets Department". Mind you, Swift, I like love songs, I like break-up songs, I like them poetically, I like when they touch me. But writing 31 break-up songs (not entirely, right, more like 25 or so) for one album makes me wonder if there is anything deeper... more touching to write about. You stay on the surface describing relationships (romantic as well as parasocial) in which you come out as a victim. But the self-reflection is missing entirely. And if I learned one thing in language classes it's that it's poetically dull if we only ever stay on the surface. We gotta dig deeper. And I'm not referring to some poetic lines to make a song sound more beautiful. I'm talking about true depth, true self-reflection, something that makes you defenseless. Cause all this woman does is writing songs out of the perspective of defense - and victimhood. Never does she actually draw herself as defenseless or vulnerable, always knowing how to use the right words to make her fans defend her.
2) Which leads me to that other thing that really bothers me. Her PR team was more involved in this album than the persona of Taylor Swift could ever be. Or maybe Taylor Swift is only PR at this point. Maybe there is no actual person behind all of this. Cause if there's one thing that's utterly apparent, it is that this album hinges SOLELY on any media drama she was involved in. Everyone out there trying to decipher which song is about whom - is this storytelling? Is this poetry? If I only care about songs and judge them by who they are about? The beauty of music is that it binds people together, makes people feel heard or seen through the text and voice of another person. What she's doing isn't that. She is not binding people together by selling her songs as something that could happen to anyone, no, all of it is always only about one person's story - her own. She also doesn't create fictional stories to write about, things to further the limits of our imagination and tell a story that doesn't even exist, and never will. She doesn't use imagination, she doesn't try to connect to other people, she's trying only to connect people to HER. Can this album even be judged neutrally if everyone just knows about her relationships and is guessing who the songs are about? Is there one person out there like "I have never seen any of the TS relationship drama and the like, and I only like to review this album lyrically and sonically by the lyrics and tune within"? Because she is SO present in everyday media press, it is impossible to miss her relationship drama. So are we actually still reviewing Swift's album as a standalone media for its sound and lyrics? Or are we actually just reviewing TS's terrible love life which she apparently has no responsibility for? And mind you all - she knows exactly what she's doing. Don't even think for a second she doesn't know that you all are following her every footstep. Don't think she doesn't use it to her advantage. (Aside from that, she has been considered a storyteller for so long, but she seems to have a lack of stories she can come up with if the only ones she writes about are her own...)
3) Which leads to the entire capitalist thinking behind the release of this album. Not only did she publish 19 different versions of this album to be acquired, no, she also literally had millions of fans pre-ordering her (normal-length) album, only to drop an extended version right after its release. Which means that all these fans had to buy yet another album. And don't think she meant this as a surprise for her fans - she did that cause that's how you make money. Cause that's how capitalism works. And she's part of the problem.
#anti taylor swift#taylor swift#tagging with TS too cause it's valid criticism and no hate#(fyi tho i couldn't stand her since i first saw her in 2009 :D)#mischa for ts
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possibly unpopular Pjo Opinions
Also, if you disagree, that's fine. people are allowed to have differing opinions. But, if you decide to be dick about it in the comments, the comment will be deleted. we can disagree but there's no need to be rude about it. However, if you'd like to respectfully and civilly discuss the differences in opinion, I'd be happy to. I always enjoy hearing different opinions. However I will warn you, while I'm not strictly anti-percabeth, there are some anti-percabeth or negative towards percabeth opinions in this post. If you're one of the toxic percabeth stans who hates on anyone who dislikes or says anything negative about the ship, you have been warned, any toxic comments will be deleted. I won't be arguing with you because it would be pointless. You're not going to change my mind and I'm not going to change yours. civil and respectful discussions only
Is it bad that I don't like Bianca Di Angelo. Like, don't get me wrong, I don't hate her, I don't think she's terrible, she's 12, she's a child, but try as I might I just can't understand her choice. I get that she's 12 and left to take care of her brother but they have no one else at that point and the first chance she gets she agrees to leave him. She agrees before they even get to camp, before she's even made sure it's safe and I've said it before I don't think there's a world where Nico stays at Camp Halfblood. I don't think Bianca necessarily dies in every universe. There must be at least some where she actually listens when told not to touch anything or even where she, an untrained, inexperienced 12 year old isn't picked for this quest where they know one of them will die because it's been prophecised, but I do think Nico, at least in every universe where Bianca agrees to join the Hunters, always leaves camp after discovering he's a son of Hades, and then he's really not safe. they're each other's only family and she chooses to leave him. In 2 years he'll be the same age as her, and a year after that he's older. He'll live his entire life while she pops in and out when they can, maybe sees him if he's at camp halfblood at the time. and, to be fair to Bianca, I don't think the Hunters should offer this to 12 year old anyway. but, no, Bianca will either be dead, or 12 forever as he younger brother grows older, as he nearly dies trying to save his friends and help his family. Although I would love to see her and the Hunter's reaction when Nico shows up in the fifth book, same age as Bianca, with 3 gods and, if I'm remembering correctly, an army of skeletons, as she realises her younger is growing up. Honestly I could see them finding a way to send messages and Nico, despite knowing there's no place for him there, going to Camp Halfblood when he knows the hunters will be there so he can see his sister. see, i like the idea of alive Bianca that lives in my head, because i love the angsty idea of her seeing her brother get older and get married and make new friends and meet the half sister and her still being physically 12 but so much older mentally and wondering what could have been if she hadn't agreed to be a Hunter. But canon Bianca? i get that she's young but, maybe it's because I'm the youngest of a family with quite a few cousins that are very close but I can't imagine a world where my older brother or one of my older cousins agrees to just leave me somewhere without first making sure it's safe, even if they were 12. and the fact that they're each other's only family on Earth at that point? and then in book 4, instead of appearing directly ti Nico and telling him not to come to her, she uses Percy as a middle man? Nico is not Percy's responsibility. No, you agreed to join the Hunters, you agreed to go on this quest when you were untrained and inexperienced (because somehow there was no one more qualified or better suited after the other Hunter couldn't go).
Honestly, maybe my problem is more with the Hunters than Bianca herself now that I'm thinking about it. The way they act like they're better than everyone's else but get upset when they retaliate. The way they hate all men. There's just something about their attitude in the third books I hate. Maybe it's because it's from Percy's POV but, I don't know, they just rub me the wrong way. Maybe it's because they're supposed to be feminists but they're written by a man who thinks the extent of feminism is "we as women hate all men and think we're better than them" which, while is admittedly how some women are, is not supposed to be the point of feminism. I was taught feminism was equality between men and women, not one being better than the other, not hating on one while hating one the other, both men and women being equal. Is this where I realise that my problems actually boil down to problems with Rick Riordan writing women and girls? Zoe's dislike does make some sense and I do like her character but it feels like the other Hunters are, like, radical feminists who believe men and women should be separate?
Also while I'm here, might as well add, as someone who read the first five books but does plan to read the others, Percabeth means literally nothing to me. I don't hate them but I don't ship them either. They're fine as friends but as a couple? I'm sure there are much more interesting ships for both of them. The first five books is more or less them not being together but getting jealous of anyone of the opposite who talks to them, (though Percy's is also annoyance because, you know, Luke tried to kill him and Annabeth still has hope she can get through to him even though he's betrayed them. Percy's fatal flaw is loyalty, he doesn't take betrayal well, we saw how he reacted to Nico's perceived betrayal), and (Usually Annabeth but Percy sometimes) picking arguments. Ah, yes, the old married couple. Now, the moments where they actually bond outside of quests and camp halfblood? Not many of them. They have a couple of cute moments but, as a couple, I don't really care for it. I don't mind them as friends but, as more than that, not really. Annabeth chose Percy over Luke? oh great, and so the rest of camp Halfblood, the others who stay there all year? They mean nothing? If it was't for Percy, she would've just left them? Interesting. Percy gave up immortality for Annabeth? Not really, sure, she may have been part of it, but the main part was making sure children of all Greek gods had somewhere safe to go and would be claimed. also, why would a depressed, possibly suicidal teen want to be immortal? want to be with the gods who have just used him and his friends and half of whom hate him? Also, next to Annabeth Percy is always made out to be the dumb one but he's not really. Sure Annabeth is better at planning but Percy is better at improvising when things go wrong. See: him tricking Crusty. Also in that first book Annabeth also makes some not so smart choices. See: going to the Arch to sightsee in the middle of the quest. Percy is also the one who figures out The Lotus Hotel situation, not Annabeth. They have different types of intelligence but Percy is not dumb.
#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#percabeth#anti percabeth#kinda but not really#nico di angelo#bianca di angelo#hunters of artemis#anti hunters of artemis#kinda not really#possibly Rick Riordan critical? like not really but kinda maybe#annabeth chase#no hate towards annabeth chase#I've read the percy jackson and the olympians#No mention of heroes of olympus#i haven't read that so know nothing that happens
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⠀⠀ 💤 IT'S A SECRET!
professor!scaramouche x gn!professor!reader
synopsis: being a college professor isn't easy, but dealing with your students' antics is definitely a whole lot harder as they continue to ship you with the biology professor. little do they know, you and scaramouche may be closer than they think... ୨ sfw, modern au, college au, fluff ୧
⠀⠀📋 creds to my beloved still with you anon for this idea... love you!🥹
"professor (l/n)? you seem to spend a lot of time with the biology professor," one of your students whose name is bennett, curiously comments as he looks at you for a response. you blink for a few moments at the pale haired boy before your pupils dilate as you finally register what he said. "ah, you mean sir scaramouche? he's my superior and i like to recieve tips from him on how to get used to teaching the students," you say with a meek smile.
xingqiu gives bennett a side glance from where he sits next to chongyun and sighs, "who forgot to add bennett to the gc?" bennett appears confused, "eh?" xiangling yelps, "oh, that's my bad! i'm so sorry, bennett!" you wave your hand and usher them to continue working, "come on, everyone. you should complete the essay before talking with your peers."
the lot of them utter a heartfelt apology and return to their work, leaving you to ponder about what xingqiu meant. is it possible that your students have been talking about you and the biology professor in their 'harmless' groupchat? you cover your mouth with a panicked look in your eyes. hu tao subtly nudges xinyan and whispers, "guess what? i saw professor (y/n) and professor scaramouche at the cafe the other day." she grins and wiggles her brows.
xinyan turns in her seat to fully face the brunette with a raised brow and a smirk. "really? gosh, i still can't believe those two aren't a thing yet," she quietly giggles with hu tao. you can only sit and listen in your swivel chair placed at the front of the classroom. 'DO THEY THINK I CAN'T HEAR THEM!?' you think to yourself as you purse your lips and re-adjust your reading glasses with an anxious aura to you.
you nervously look to the side, thinking about whether you should tell your fiance about this ordeal or not. surely, he would be unhappy that your students are 'shipping' you with a random man! but in your case, it's not just any man. it's the one and only biology professor, kunikuzushi ei, or as he likes to go by his other name, scaramouche. you feels your cheeks flush a bright red as you get weak in the knees thinking about him.
yanfei stifles a laugh, "i mean, look at how lovesick they look." chongyun gawks as razor blankly adds, "they look like... chongyun, when too hot." barbara sighs and shakes her head, her bouncy pigtails wiggling with her delicate motion. "you guys should really get to working on the essay," she scolds, yet her tone is as polite as ever. noelle nods, "i-i just think it'd be better to save all this for later."
yanfei thinly exhales, "they're right; we can talk about this later in the group chat." collei clasps her hands together, "okay! it's just so exciting..." fischl laughs in a loud manner from the back of the room, causing everyone to flinch. "i have completed my mission, master (l/n)! is this all you have?" she smugly chuckles as she fans herself with the paper. you have a deadpan expression and that same kind smile.
"have a good night, everyone! don't forget to submit the project before nine tomorrow," you remind your students as they head out the door. as soon as they leave, you slam your hands onto your desk, heaving large inhales and exhales. 'this is seriously bad! if anyone were to find out...' you look left and right, as if someone in the room could read your thoughts. you know how college students are, and you know very well that if word of your engagement gets out, things ought to get messy.
gossip would spread quicker than wildfire and could eventually lead the whole campus to thinking that you have a child! your thoughts are disrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around your torso. you gasp in surprise, "kuni!" scaramouche hums against the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine from the warmth of his breath. you instantly back away with a red face, "one of my students could have walked in at any moment there!" he puts up a finger, "could have."
scaramouche slyly smiles and you only shake your head. "how was your day, angel?" he queries, placing his hands against the desk. you begin to collect your things for the day and avoid answering the question at hand. scaramouche takes note of this and lets his menacing glare linger upon you until you finally speak up. "my students think we should be a couple," you say in a broken sentence as you melt to the ground. scaramouche bursts into maniacal laughter, "hah, if only they knew! that's ludicrous, dear, but i truly don't see any reason for you to fret about our engagement's publicity."
he helps you up and kisses your cheek. you frown, "i guess so. i'm just worried some rumors will start to go around." scaramouche tilts his head to the side. "i see what you mean. college students are little shits like that," he says with a weary roll of the eyes. you muster up a smile, "it's fine, i do suppose it'll be alright as long as they don't know yet. oh, are we going to go your house for the night?" you ask.
scaramouche replies, "yeah, and-" he stops talking when he hears a yelp of pain. both you and scaramouche look to the source of the sound to find bennett with his face planted in the ground, having previously fell out from the storage closet at the back of the classroom. you exclaim, "BENNETT!?" you rush to check up on the boy's well-being while scaramouche takes his time in walking over without a care in the world. bennett looks up with a beet red face.
"I'M SO, SO SORRY, PROFESSOR (L/N)! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, I DIDN'T MEAN TO EAVESDROP! I JUST GOT STUCK IN HERE TRYING TO FIND AN EXTRA CHARGER FOR MY COMPUTER 'CAUSE I LEFT MINE AT HOME AND-" he blurts out so many things at the same time, you can hardly keep up. yet the only thing you heard was 'eavesdrop.' now it's your turn to panic. but before you can say anything, scaramouche puts a hand on bennett's shoulder. bennett slowly turns his head to face him and he stutters, "s-s-s-sir scaramouche?"
scaramouche's expression is so calm, it scares the both of you. "you're a good kid, bennett," he sighs out, "and that's why-" scaramouche tightens the grip he has on his shoulder and you instantly stand in front of bennett, waving your hands around as you cry out, "HOLD ON, I'M SURE HE DIDN'T MEAN TO!" scaramouche lets go of him and he narrows his eyes to slits. "whatever," he finally says as you and bennett sigh in relief.
you turn to your student and awkwardly grin, "it would be very much appreciated if you didn't tell anyone about it, bennett. could you do that little favor for me?" scaramouche glares at bennett from behind you and bennett manages to squeak out a high-pitched, "yes!" scaramouche closes his eyes, "now that that's out of the way, get out." bennett runs out of the room and trips twice on the way. you harshly punch your fiance's arm, "you could have been nicer to the poor boy!" scaramouche rubs at his bicep and utters, "no one deserves my kindness but you."
your pupils dilate and you scoff, "of course you would say that, kuni." you place a kiss against his neck right where he likes it and you pull away with a cheerful smile to find scaramouche holding a loving gaze saved for you and you only. he tsks, "you know what? let's make our relationship public tomorrow." your eyes widen, "really? but what about-" scaramouche tuts, "enough of that. i'll deal with anyone who bothers you, love." his hands carefully hold yours and he presses his lips against yours.
in the meanwhile, xingqiu has tears in his eyes as he records the whole thing from the agape door. "the fanfiction potential is immense..." he mutters and bennett desperately whispers, "hurry up! i don't want their scary fiance to attack us..." the next day, you're quite confused as to why your students are acting so neutral about you giving them the news of your engagement with scaramouche.
"oh, really? wow, that's surprising."
"who would've thought?"
"congratulations though!"
you could say someone may or may not have given them a deep talk...
© scaralvr.
#(⌒▽⌒)☆ : myst's library !!#gender neutral reader#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x reader#genshin imagines#genshin imagine#genshin fanfic#genshin fanfics#genshin fanfiction#genshin fanfictions#scaramouche#genshin fluff#scaramouche fluff
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PLOT THEORY FOR S2 - Fallout
**MANY FALLOUT SPOILERS AHEAD - read at your own risk**
i have this weird theory that the juxtaposition we see between Cooper's outwardly grim appearance vs his morals being intact, and then Max's outwardly normal appearance vs his morally neutral choices, might be a way of telling us more about looks being deceiving for future developments.
hear me out.
Max is knocked out as soon as he finds out about Shady Sands, but he was definitely intending to do some damage, revenge had its hooks in him from the beginning. it was always there, whether it be to regain the honor the Brotherhood took away from him, then evolving into being part of the trio that was now after Hank. the man who robbed him of his home, family and hope for the future.
i saw a video essay discussing the moral choices of Lucy and Cooper's characters and i really liked the criteria they created for measuring it - ill link it below.
she says there's 2 main parts:
1. loss of control
2. being unrecognizable after enduring hardship
whether you agree with this criteria or think there's more to be added, i like how simple of a base it provides, when approaching these complex characters.
so if we then apply this to Max, he is the only member of our main cast who exhibits both points.
1. loss of control:
this is distinct to me in the Philly shoot-up, where he isn't able to control the T-60 power armor enough to put up a fair fight against The Ghoul. literally crash-lands it and then gets flung into the atmosphere LIKE PLS
he mistakenly attacks the people of Vault 4, once again losing control of his power.
the chicken-guy .... trying to derail that argument but saving the wrong person ><
Note: it's FASCINATING if you look at his character metaphorically, because the power armor is someone having the means for good but not having the understanding of what true 'good' means to them, yet. the power armor is LITERALLY his OUTWARD POWER like who is he really, underneath it??!!!!
we don't have this problem with Cooper and Lucy right now, their power is shown to be INWARD. the Ghoul's experience/connection to the beginning, and hers is her obvious moral strength and perseverance. they overlap.
i feel that his character is supposed to lean into the apprentice archetype, where he is currently lacking a proper teacher to show him the ropes. at first we expected Lucy to fit this role because of her inexperience on the surface, and yet when given a 'mentor' she not only challenges him but proves she can handle herself. ruling that one out, and leading us to believe the fate-intertwined aspect of ghoulcy has a touch more to it. implicit rather than explicit.
2. being unrecognizable after enduring hardship
Max to me fits this point too, because we still don't get a glimpse into who he truly is, besides knowing his past. from the beginning, his goal is to be a Knight of the Brotherhood, that's how he defines himself currently.
when he fights off the gulper, he reiterates this line to himself: "i am a Knight of the Brotherhood of Steel".
he says it AGAIN in response to Lucy's advances in the vault. which is a clue into how much he relies on it for his moral code, to the point where it crosses into his personal decisions. not just for 'missions' or survival.
this is like foreshadowing a tipping point for me, because without the Brotherhood, what does he want? he's acting in alignment of the code that was pushed on him, but it always feels like he has to remind himself to BE that.
that it doesn't come naturally, the way the other characters' do. we see this at the start where he gets the answer wrong in class, he's bullied, an 'outcast' within his own community (for lack of a better term).
by comparison, the Ghoul isn't even a real 'outcast' in the way cowboys are stereotypically portrayed, because he fits in the wasteland better than anyone.
so point 2. becomes relevant when he gets the armor and is unrecognizable from where he started. this is a point he never thought he'd get to, but he sacrifices his real identity to get there.
SO ALL THIS TO SAYYYY...... that's where i feel his character will be vulnerable to a villain-arc!
in the ending, he gets accepted as a Knight, but his expression betrays him. there is a continuous inner conflict within Maximus that is SO SUBTLE and its written so beautifully. i think we're going to see ghoulcy pushing each other in the right direction. their shared journey seems to be about regaining HOPE.
but for Max, i feel in my bones that something darker is coming for his arc, it feels like revenge. the goofy, lovable boy in the clunky armor, may very well end up having the darkest battle to face. and it's because he's alone in doing it.
this was a lot to digest, so if you made it this far i thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!
AND if you have anything to add i would love to hear it :) !!!!
youtube
#fallout prime#the ghoul#ghoulcy#cooper howard#lucy maclean#maximus#fallout theory#spoilers#fallout spoilers#vaultghoul#Youtube
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Preliminary Poll
Vanellope von Schweets
Submission reason:
Ralph Breaks The Internet was a fucking awful sequel in almost every possible way, including how it characterised Vanellope. In the first movie, she's a spunky, brave, gutsy lil kid who desperately wants not just to be a playable character, but to be accepted. Seen as a 'glitch', she is literally not accepted as human by the other characters in the game. She can also be a bit of a pill, but that's understandable given her FIFTEEN YEARS of exile and ostracisation in her own home. Also unrelated but her 'glitch' not being 'fixed' by the end, but instead her learning to accept and even embrace it as part of herself and the other racers accepting her as she is - amazing. (curing disability trope my beloathed)
Jump-cut to the sequel, where six years have passed and suddenly her fifteen-year dream is... too... boring for her? What? Where'd that come from? So her solution is to build some fun shortcuts and extra tracks and whatnot in the game - okay, sure, but then she starts going against the player and taking control to use those shortcuts while being played, in broad fucking daylight, which - oh, shocker - leads to the game getting unplugged. Indirectly, but still! Then she and Ralph (and believe me I will make an entire separate post for him because they BUTCHERED him) go to the Internet - again, in broad daylight while the arcade is open. Isn't... isn't leaving their games in the middle of the day exactly what almost got Ralph's game unplugged in the first movie? Huh?
Nothing much to add for most of the movie. Vanellope just acts like a brat the entire time, which does not remotely make sense for her as a character. But then. The ending happens. Oh fucking gee guvnor I wonder how they could possibly fuck up the ending that badly - OH LET ME TELL YOU.
So like in the movie they go into this multiplayer apocalypse car-jacking game a la Fortnite, and Vanellope decides within less than a day that this game is totally the coolest place ever and she should totally stay here forever. And she. she does. she stays in Slaughter Race forever. this is presented as the Right Thing To Do because she's Following Her Dreams and isn't it great NO! NO IT ISN'T!
She's the president of Sugar Rush, and yet she's fully prepared to drop her responsibilities and go off to live somewhere else without a second thought. This isn't 'following your dreams'. This is a nine-year-old kid acting on impulse. And the movie paints her as being in the right! I'm not at all saying Ralph WAS in the right (again, we'll get to him) but even if he was well-written I'd still expect him to be concerned with Vanellope's decision here.
Oh and then there's the fact that SHE'S PRETTY MUCH DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE VILLAIN IN THE FIRST MOVIE DID. What it was supposed to be a cautionary tale AGAINST doing. Heck, Vanellope was hands-down the person hurt the most by Turbo's actions, and yet she brushes it off with "I'm one of sixteen racers, who's going to miss me?" Sure, but aren't you a little concerned that the players might miss not only the main character of the game, but also the most popular character by far? Or maybe even the other racers? Who have supposedly been your friends for six years now? None of them would miss you? And it's never even brought up! Turbo and the negative effects of his actions are never even mentioned, by either party. I can even imagine something with this plotline working in a better written movie - again, Vanellope was the person hurt the most by Turbo's actions, so it should be her call after all. They could have spent longer making sure this decision was the right one, shown Vanellope doubting it and eventually deciding it's what she truly wants, gone through the whole process of making sure this move won't hurt anyone, all the other characters coming to terms with it, they could even make a case for how all the trauma Vanellope endured in Sugar Rush kind of tainted it for her and that's why she's so dissatisfied with her life there - but no, none of that. It all feels staggeringly out of character and makes barely any sense.
(And don't get me started on how the Slaughter Race crew just magically happen to find the original code for a twenty-one-year-old arcade game character, snip it out and plug it into an online game. I know the movie about videogame characters coming to life isn't exactly famed for having realistic representation of how coding works, but this is some absolute bullshit and it just gets immediately swept under the rug.)
So yeah they well and truly massacred my girl Vanellope and the sequel is non-canon in my mind. Thank you and goodnight.
Propaganda:
Not sure if it counts, but I wanted to just mention it. There's this really really good fix-it fic of the sequel on fanfiction.net called It's A Slaughterful Life. Go read it. It's amazing.
#look how they massacred my girl#vanellope von schweetz#wreck it ralph#ralph breaks the internet#vanellope
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El's protectiveness and friendships in the lab
wanted to take a minute to appreciate that El's protectiveness isn't a character trait that only emerges post-lab. she's always been that way [assuming, for this post, that NINA stuff more or less happened]; it just couldn't always present in a way that looks badass on a poster.
El and Eighteen
only crumbs here, but if I have to point out a lab kid that El is friendlier with than the others, it's Eighteen.
El holding Eighteen's hand is the only affectionate act I've ever noticed between any of the lab kids, and offering that comfort to her littlest sister is probably as "protective" as El can afford to be (esp as an eight year old with the least power and social standing of anyone).
when the kids in general laugh at El for failing at the light game, Eighteen is not one of the kids shown doing so.
Eighteen is the first dead child El is shown to be upset about. it's not that she looks more distressed about her than the others, but it's odd that she saw Ten dead on the floor next to Brenner a second before this and didn't really react. (maybe she couldn't tell Ten was dead from the doorway? idk)
maybe an El/Eighteen friendship is cornplating or whatever the youths are calling it, but bearing in mind that we're never actually told that El/Eight had some super close friendship, maybe theirs looked something like this.
side note - are friendships even permitted in the lab?
letting the kids form friendships could be dangerous, as Brenner, couldn't it? risks them forming alliances against you? this is why I was asking the other day if socializing seems discouraged in the RR. like, even the bullies, who were "friends," never chatted openly in there unless the cameras were off. maybe any lab friendships have to be hush hush by nature.
anyway idk there's just something about us going "🤯 same numbers!!!" upon seeing the 001 / 011 tattoos, and then 008 + 018 being the only other kids El is hinted at being friendly with... why are we reusing the same pattern? 001 / 008 / 011 / 018 just happen to be every combination of those three numbers within the number of available children.
especially with El "being 8" (as in, years old) at this time. it's giving Henry, 12 / mother of 5. idk where I'm going with that but I'm squinting. Eighteen, you're not some bizarro Little Eight who has an inverted friendship with Big El, right?
El lashing out in the lab
we're shown repeatedly that El hates seeing people get hurt, but multiple times onscreen (and you know innumerable times off) she witnesses severe abuse to her siblings, and we never see her act in their defense like post-lab El would. of course, that's because she realistically can't. we know trying to help anyone in the lab accomplishes little except getting both people in trouble.
but I was thinking about how we DO see El lash out for her own sake in 1983. so what's the takeaway? El cares more about protecting herself than others?
nah. let's look at the other guard killing scene (again. assuming this really happened):
when similarly cornered in 1979, El's immediate response is silent surrender.
why is her behavior so different? because she's weak? too scared / well controlled? too nice to kill? all those factors have already been established as non-issues in this moment. (she does have her powers here; the circle game proved that Brenner can't control El and knows it; killing when cornered is canonically within her nature)
you might think having a staff member on her side would make her more defiant, but instead she's more compliant here than in '83 (either time. even in the non-guard-killing flashback, El screams and struggles the whole way.)
El and One
he's the difference. she doesn't know he's her brother or has powers yet, but he has presented himself as a fellow prisoner rather than someone in a position of authority. she's also already seen him get punished because of her.
as far as El knows right here, if she lashes out - whether she then escapes successfully or not - she'd be bringing SEVERE punishment onto a nice guy who can't defend himself or escape.
she has a chance at freedom, the power to kill, and the escape route all planned out, but she doesn't do it. the thing that's not in her nature is abandoning a friend to God-knows-what punishment on her behalf.
so while One killing the guards is an act of protection to El, it's also a massive act of protection to One that El is ready to throw out the whole plan right here. don't miss it just because it's not the classic El-screamy-hand thing.
she's sacrificing her chance at freedom in hopes of slightly mitigating his punishment. (they're both doomed to very bad punishment upon capture right here, but if she escapes I think he'd get punished even worse. so she's choosing to share in pretty bad punishment over him being punished extremely severely and her not at all.)
even aside from punishment, she knows she'll be returning to an even worse home life than the one she believed necessitated her immediate escape (Brenner apparently arranging for her to be killed).
so here, can she afford to act out not only because she's acting alone, but because she's an only child, so to speak? there's no one else who could potentially suffer as a result of her actions. no other siblings to use as leverage. no one to protect.
whatever consequences Brenner carried El off to after killing those orderlies, she bore it alone.
I can sorta read this as protective of the other kids in general - not that she did it, but that she didn't until now.
am I saying Brenner might have randomly punished other kids as a result of something El did?
have you met the guy? definitely would've threatened it, might've actually done it. manipulation by whatever means necessary.
when you work in a building full of superpowered people who hate you, you gotta control them psychologically, because physical control isn't something you can maintain for long. it's imperative that they're more afraid of the consequences of kicking your ass than they are of whatever torture you're putting them through. emotional manipulation using friends and innocents as pawns is a classic move. (another reason the kids might want to keep lab friendships secret even if they're allowed.)
that's not theory - we've seen Brenner use this tactic onscreen, telling El that he'll have Owens killed if she tries to get to him. he knows he can't physically control her, so he exerts psychological control by placing Owens' blood on El's hands to get her to cooperate.
the phrase "blood on one's hands" means being responsible for deaths, not having literally, personally committed murder. this imagery is used onscreen to denote El's sense of guilt about the massacre well before she comes to the conclusion that she actually did it. (this could be symbolism that El's mind organically dreamed up instead of engineered fuckery, but who knows. we have no textual explanation yet for how her hands would be that bloody).
and together with Brenner very textually using the kids against each other in other ways - having them literally duel each other in the circle game, but also the "driving them to do exactly what he wants" stuff - I don't think it's unreasonable to figure that fear of harm to the other kids was a manipulation tactic used in the lab.
that definitely includes One - lines like "I'm not going with you / if he finds me he will find you" "I wanted to help you, but I only made things worse" smack of a guy kept in line by fear of something happening to the kids.
and the Brenner-orchestrating-El's-murder story smells like a psyop. is this just Brenner wanting One to think harm would come to El as a consequence of his actions? (she became "uncontrollable" as a result of his coaching). El is too valuable an asset to actually kill. who would know better than One that the treatment for being uncontrollable is soteria, not death? assuming One is being truthful, why would he not see through that. idek what I think is going on here anymore
anyway. MKUltra is ALL about manipulation but I'll talk more about that in my other post
times El protects her friends the same way she protected One
practically every move El makes is about protecting her friends but I want to point out a few times that are specifically reminiscent of her protection of One, where she's ready to give up her freedom to protect her friends even at risk of the worst case scenario (going back to the lab):
sacrificing herself to protect the party from the demogorgon ("no more") <- is that line in reference to the 6 people the demogorgon has snatched, or is that a massacre reference given how incredibly parallel these scenes are. I'm not sure whether "goodbye Mike" meant she thought she'd die or just get so wiped out that she'd be easily recaptured by the lab
leaving Kali and "freedom" to return to Hawkins and protect her friends, where she volunteers to go back into the lab to close the gate
leaving Cali and "freedom" to return to the lab to get her powers back to protect her friends
final thought: I just had a chuckle with myself at the fact that iirc it's Mike and Nancy whose lives El has individually, directly saved the most times.
[honorable mention for Max because I don't know how to quantify 4x9. is that like one massive save?]
like, Mike, okay, but why the Nancy emphasis when she and El have basically zero onscreen relationship. (actually I have a lot to say about El and Nancy coming up soon that might add context)
idk.. lab sibling guilt smth smth El protecting Nancy "she'll be like your new sister" and Mike "will you be like my brother" Creeler. you gotta love it
#another chunk off the analysis. I promise it's coming#givehimthemedicineanalysis#putting 'El saves Holly Wheeler's life' on my s5 bingo card
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i debated saying anything about this bc i wanted the focus to be on how incredible josh is and how much we all love him, but since other people have made posts (and bc the subject of them has continued to be a problem) i figured i might as well.
long ass post below the cut bc i don't wanna clog people's feed
hannah has spent the better part of 6 months trying to salvage her reputation after tweetgate. she's been posting bogus, empty apologies and trying to prove that she's a good person, a person who has changed over the years and isn't close to being the same as the one who made those horrendous tweets.
yet every time someone calls her out, she continues to show everyone she hasn't changed at all.
hannah's career is not josh's. her personal life is not josh's. their connection is simply the fact that she's with sam. she's benefitted from the relationship since it started, regardless of how little her status as a "well known" musician has increased. she's gotten plenty of opportunities that she likely wouldn't have, had it not been for her relationship with sam. this isn't me saying she's using him, none of us could ever know that for certain, but it's certainly an interesting pairing and she definitely doesn't do herself any favors to get us to think otherwise.
i understand there is no obligation on hannah's part to join the masses in public support of josh coming out. I'm not going to say she needed to like the post, comment on it, put it in her story, etc. what i will say is that her initial silence about it on social media is extremely telling.
she tweeted about legislation when it came to gun control. granted she talked about how she wanted her music to make a change (it's not going to sweetheart), and made most of the conversation about her, but she brought up the importance of standing up for what you believe is right in the state you live in. and for anyone not aware (though i assume pretty much everyone knows) she lives in tennessee.
because of that, and given her adamance that she's not a bigot, one would think she'd take josh's post as a chance to also talk about the importance of fighting for LGBTQ+ rights in the state she lives in. even if she didn't live there, you'd think she'd do it to support her boyfriend's older brother. and for as much as she talks about how much she loves them all, it sure doesn't seem like she gives as shit about any of them other than sam, and yeah that's likely because he's the one directly helping her career.
she didn't though.
she didn't do anything to show her support for josh.
and it's not that she wasn't active on social media because she spent the day posting on everything about her new music. she follows josh, she would've seen the post. I'm sure there were plenty of conversations over text or call or facetime or whatever that she could've been part of. I'm fully aware that anything could've happened in private. but when you spend so much time trying to publicly convince people that you're a good, caring, thoughtful, loving, and accepting person, how could you not show public support when it comes to this?
of course she has to go and make it even worse though, because that's literally the only thing she knows how to do.
i don't necessarily agree with people commenting on her posts about josh (though i agree, yesterday was josh's day. idc argue with your mother) but the issue was her response to those comments.
you want to talk about your music? go ahead, lord knows you're never gonna shut up about your subpar shit. but this:
was fucking disgusting.
that's your boyfriend's fucking brother who, after spending nearly a decade hiding a massive part of himself and his relationship, decided to come out publicly where millions of people would see it all at once. where he could've been met with judgment from fans, non-fans, peers, fellow musicians, etc. I'm not saying he assumed the worst, there's no way any of us would know if he did, it's just the reality of the political climate. he did something that is fucking terrifying for anyone on a considerably smaller scale. even when you know you'll have support, coming out can be scary. hell i was drunk when i accidentally came out to my dad and even though i knew he'd still love me, i was fucking scared.
josh risked so much by making that post, regardless of the love and support he was guaranteed to have from his family, his friends, and presumably most of his fans. i can't imagine it was the easiest decision for him to make, but the fact that he did it is incredible and praiseworthy.
anyone with a brain and a lick of common sense knows this. anyone in the LGBTQ+ community is more than aware of this. anyone who cares about those around them and understands how awful the political climate is when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community, is fully aware of this.
hannah should be fully aware, and though it often seems otherwise, she has a brain, so i know she knows this.
it's the bare fucking minimum to publicly support josh. the bare. fucking. minimum.
but once again, she had to make sure she was getting the attention she so badly craves. and of course, her responses to gvf fans were just as gross and immature as they always are.
as i've said several times before, hannah wicklund is not a good person. she clearly never has been and never will be. she has this delusion that she's changed and grown and matured but every single time she makes a post, she proves that none of that is true.
she's single-handedly digging her own grave and i look forward to the day where she's no longer connected to the band and our community.
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Frat Daddy the Third - USWNT x Reader
Summary/Request: Anon sorta said "reader being under the legal drinking age but the team travels to Europe and the reader goes out...team ends up taking care of them at the end"
A/N: So this isn't exactly what anon requested but this what my brain made of it. Enjoy.
Trigger warning: Excessive drinking of Alcohol and mentions of a date rape drug but no one gets hurt.
Despite what everyone else may think, there is nothing cool about trying to balance being in college and being on the senior national team.
Okay, maybe that is slightly dramatic because playing on the same team as some of the women you grew up idolizing is incredibly cool but there are some downsides.
You could waste time listing them all but there is only me that is bugging you right now: not being able to have a drink when you want one.
Once again, this might seem like a small thing but you attend one of the top party schools in the country: Florida State.
So more often than not you have a little bit of alcohol in your system.
Bored while studying, have a beer or two.
Headed to a 3-hour lecture, take a shot before walking across campus.
If any of the other sports teams win, let’s find a frat party.
Your team wins, and the party’s at your place.
Get a call-up, throw a party.
It’s not alcoholism if you’re still an undergrad.
And it’s not a hangover if you refuse to tell anyone what you did the night before.
This is exactly what you’re doing now as you wait in Newark airport with Kristie and all your teammates on the Spirit. They had faced each other to a nil-nil draw last night while you and the Seminoles beat Rutgers.
And yes, you had thrown a small party in the hotel afterward.
So not only were you incredibly hungover (honestly you were probably still drunk), but you were also dealing with some of your loudest national teammates.
Sinking lower into your seat, you pull your hat lower on your head and turn up the volume in your headphones.
Just as you begin to drift off, you feel multiple pairs of eyes on you.
Opening one of your own, you aren’t surprised to see Kelley directly in your face and everyone else staring at you.
“Can I help you,” you question, taking your headphones off.
“Why are you sweating,” Kelley asks, “And why do you smell like the aisle of a liquor store?”
Closing your eyes you respond, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“So if I passed a bottle of,” she pauses, taking a big sniff, “Hennessy under your nose, you wouldn’t be tempted to throw up?”
Just the mention of the drink that you had too much of last night is enough to make you gag. That in turn makes Kelley shake her head at you.
“Next time use a stronger body spray, kid,” she says before walking away.
The incident doesn’t get brought up again.
And as far as you know Kelley doesn’t mention it to anyone else but she does get herself assigned as your roommate.
It isn’t until you are in your shared hotel room, complaining about your homework that the topic of alcohol even comes up again.
“Mill, Kant, and morals are best studied with a beer,” you grumble not having heard Kelley re-enter the room with Sonnett.
“Day drinking while studying ethics is a new level, kid,” Sonny says, causing you to whip your head around to face her.
“Don’t know if you’ve noticed but I don’t have a beer, so no day drinking is occurring,” you say, turning back to continue writing your paper.
“Why are you studying ethics and morals anyway,” Kelley asks, “Aren’t you getting a degree in computer engineering?”
“It’s a required course.”
She gives a small ‘oh’ in response and seconds later you can hear her and Emily whispering behind you, something that you mistakenly choose to ignore seeing as how deadlines don’t care about timezones.
Eventually, you forget the two of them are even in the room and begin to find your groove again making a significant amount of progress on your paper.
That groove is broken when the two of them walk up to either side of you and close your laptop.
“Are you serious right now,” you ask, groaning when they don’t take their hands off it, “I only have two hours left to finish this paper.”
“Relax Y/N/N, we’re here to make you a deal,” Emily says placatingly.
“Alright, well hurry up.”
“We’re gonna ask you two questions,” Kelley explains, “Answer both correctly and score a goal tomorrow and we’ll bring you with us when we go out after the game.”
“Can I answer the questions and type my paper at the same time,” you beg, still trying to remove their hands from your laptop.
“Fine,” they say simultaneously, watching as you scramble to get back to your essay.
“Ok, the first question,” Emily says, “What is the legal drinking age in France?”
“There isn’t one,” you answer, “But you have to be 18 to purchase any alcohol.”
“Correct, next question, “Kelley says, “What are three characteristics of alcohol use disorders?”
“Inability to limit drinking, continuing to drink despite personal or professional problems, and wanting to drink so bad that you can’t think of anything else.”
“Correct again,” the older defender says, “Now score a goal and you get to hang out with the big kids after the game.”
“Cool, will the ‘big kids’ leave me alone now,” you beg, citing another source for your paper.
“Alright, fine, see you later Y/N/N,” Emily says, dragging Kelley out of the room.
By the time you’re standing on the touchline the next day, you’ve completely forgotten about the deals you’ve made with the Frat Daddies.
No, you’re more focused on trying to find a way past Wendie Renard and the rest of the French back 3 so that you can leave the stadium with a win.
It’s a hard hustle but you finally manage to take a good shot in the 79th minute that barely sails over the fingertips of the French goalie.
You don’t remember the deal until Kelley leaps into your arms yelling about how she’s buying your first drink.
And that doesn’t fully register in your mind until Kelley is forcing you to get out of bed and get dressed that night.
The club you and the rest of the team find yourselves in is cooler than any of the ones you’ve snuck into at school. But that’s to be expected seeing as how Tallahassee isn’t known for much else besides being home to Florida State.
You spend most of the night with your teammates dancing and convincing them to buy you shots, you get through eight of them before they catch on and you have to buy your own drinks.
That’s when things take a turn for the worse.
One second you’re at the bar talking with a pretty French girl while waiting for your beer and the next, you’re drinking a beer that is definitely not supposed to be salty.
Stumbling towards where you left your teammates, you walk straight into Kelley’s arms.
“Kelley, we need to leave,” you slur-shout into her ear.
“What, why?”
“Because I just had a salty Modelo and Modelo is not supposed to be salty,” you say frantically, “GHB makes beer salty and now it’s getting really hard to breathe, so can we please leave.”
“Oh my god, Y/N,” she says.
“I only took a sip but we need to leave.”
It doesn’t take very long for Kelley to spring into action and within the next 10 minutes, you’re on Emily’s back being carried back to the hotel. This is great because you are quickly losing the ability to move your limbs.
When you get back to the hotel, you’re barely aware of Kelley softly telling you everything’s going to be fine while she helps you get ready for bed.
You do hear Sonnett say something about how much trouble they're going to be in but that should really be the least of everyone’s concerns at this point and Kelley says as much.
You don’t have many memories of what happened after Emily left but you do vaguely remember Kelley checking on you multiple times and making sure that you didn’t choke on your puke, which was pretty cool of her.
That’s probably why you’re so surprised when you wake up to the sound of her getting yelled at by Alex and Becky.
“Seriously, Kelley,” Becky says, “The one time you take her out, you not only lose her but she gets drugged.”
“Guys,” Kelley says, trying to explain.
“No, Kelley,” Alex interrupts.
You can tell that Alex is getting pretty worked up so you decide to do all three of them a favor and crack a joke.
“Scale of 0-10, getting drugged,” you say, flinging the covers off and climbing out of bed, “0 out of 10, do not recommend, will not be trying again.”
Every head in the room whips around to face you and that’s when you realize that practically the entire team is there, not just Kelley, Alex, and Becky.
“Y/N,” Alex says, taking a step toward you, “How are you feeling?”
“Like I took 15 shots of rum instead of 10.”
“You took 10 shots of rum,” Sonny says shocked.
You don’t get a chance to answer because Becky quickly turns on Kelley again.
“You let the baby take 10 shots,” she practically shouts.
Kelley stutters for a while before you decide to step in.
“Can we all chill on Kelley,” you say, “because I think we all know by now that no one can stop me from doing what I want.” You move to stand by the bathroom door while continuing, “It’s not her fault that I snuck off to have a beer and two shots when she turned away for half a second. And it’s really not her fault that a pretty French girl drugged me. Now if you all don’t mind leaving so I can puke in peace I’d appreciate it.”
The last thing you hear as you close the door behind you is the depressed voice of Lindsey going, “Great, now we have three frat bros to look after.”
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Taming the Bull - Another snippet
A/N: the fic won't be started until I finish my nanny one. but wanted to say the reader will be chubby, because we need more miguel x chubby!reader blessss and miguel will be saying stupid shit thinking he's being romantic and kind but in reality it's actually fucking rude
Also reader won't be like one of the curvy girls with hips and hour glass shaped. She's gonna have a bigger belly, back fat (big back), hip dips, hella rolls, slimmer legs/thighs, etc. Basically her upper body is bigger than her lower. It's similar to my body shape tbh
WARNING reader is hella insecure of her body (yes I will be projecting in this fic but reader will eventually learn to love herself on her own and not because she's received love from miguel and gabriel)
Miguel holds you close to him, dark eyes peering into your trembling ones. His knuckles brush along your cheek and you move your head away, gulping.
"I just don't get it," you whisper, attempting to push yourself off of him but his grip grows tighter. He's tilts his head with a brow raised, humming in question at your response.
"Why me?" you ask him, unable to meet his gaze. "It's just, there's so many other girls you can and have been with. I'm nothing special. My body is...nothing special." Your cheeks burn in shame at saying that, but you can't picture yourself being with someone like Miguel.
Or basically picturing Miguel with someone like you.
It hurts, but you've gone your entire life with no affection from anyone. No one has perceived you in a romantic way and you know it's because they see your body first before your heart.
Miguel sighs, pursing his lips. He's heard that so many times from you, and it's beginning to frustrate him. He's wanted you for so long. Why can't you believe that he wants you? He loosens his hold on you and cups your cheek, having you look back up at him.
"Hey," he says softly, expression turning soft. "Don't say such things about yourself. You are beautiful, gordita, inside and out." He presses a kiss into your hairline. "I hate it when you talk about yourself like that. If only you can see yourself from my eyes."
A shiver runs down your spine and you inch forward against him, gulping. "I wish I could too, but it's impossible. I just...I don't know," you sigh in defeat.
"I understand you're insecure, but you can't let that stop from what good can come out from this. From us," he says. He takes your hands in his, squeezing them. "Don't let your insecurities hold you back. Not from us. Not from anything. You deserve to be happy, gordita."
"I'm just not used to things like this," you say.
"Then let me help you get used to it," he encourages. He gets closer to your face, hot breath fanning across your skin. "Let me show you how much you mean to me."
"But wouldn't you want someone with a perfect body? Someone who isn't like me," you say, eyes dropping down to his lips. You can't help but say those things. All your life, you were hated for the shape of your body. As much as you've tried to fight against your insecurities and the scrutiny of others, you just can't help it.
"I don't want someone with a perfect body. I want yours," he whispers, about to close the gap. "Besides, you're not fat, you're absolutely beautiful."
"What?" You pull your head back, frowning. You didn't say you were ugly.
"I said you're beautiful, babe," he winks. "Besides, why would I want a perfect body when I can have yours?" He tries to close the gap again, but you take a step back.
"That's not the fucking compliment you think it is."
Miguel blinks, caught off guard by your sudden shift in mood. "I didn't mean anything bad. I'm just saying I don't want a perfect body."
"Fuck you, get out of my apartment."
"Gordita, wait-"
"Just get out!"
#miguel o'hara#miguel ohara#across the spider verse#miguel spiderverse#miguel x reader#miguel ohara fanfiction#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel ohara x reader#miguel o'hara x chubby!reader#miguel ohara x chubby!reader#miguel o'hara fanfiction#future fanfic
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