i have created an amazing plotline for a future yakuza/like a dragon game featuring a female lead, but i am lazy so i will never write it, it'll just exist in my head until i forget about it in a few days, which is what happens with all the extremely detailed fantasies i make up in my brain every day lol.

Hiiiii!!!

The Hindi songs guy again (salaamat recommendation, if "Hindi songs guy" is too vague)! Firstly, thanks for telling the name of the song, I listened to it and *sighs* it was them!

Secondly, i didn't know you were from India too! Got to know some days ago from your posts, and then just read your post when you were drunk and telling about India. And I fully agree, it was accurate (and as a North Indian, I'm sorry for the racism🙊). And I'm also sorry about the transphobia and every other awfulness you might've experienced. I love youuuu (sorry if this is too weird🙆🏻‍♂️). Also, the career prospects thing was 100% true: I was 'supposed' to become a doctor, but I had taken science just coz i liked it, and then there was a three years long tragic battle against doctor as a career, and then finally after a failed suicide attempt, I was able to choose English Literature, and things are only now (5 years after the fact) looking better....sooooo I guess your fears about college are totally valid but it will be better, you'll meet great people and learn so much beautiful stuff and create sooo many brilliant thingss! Again, I love youuu (and again, sorry if all of it is too much info, too weird, I'm just...weirdly emotional, idk why)

Thirdly, I really like your name! Asmi is a beautifullll nameee!

Fourthly, sorryy for the long and weird ask, just... I'm glad to know someone else from India here, who's also a Good Omens fan and evidently a lovely person. Sooo lots of long tight hugss!

Lastly, sorry for all the sorrys, and you can totally ignore this if it's uncomfortable or anything (if you couldn't tell by the sorrys, I'm super self-conscious, so thanks for the anonymous option)

Love and hugss, and best of luck for college, for your art, and life in general!❤️

Hey anon maggot! I'm so happy you listened to the song and loved it.

And thank you so much for sharing this with me. It's awful that you had to go through all of that, and I'm so proud of you for surviving. I spent three years preparing for medicine too (11th and 12th year, which caused me to fall sick and miss the NEET test, so I took a gap year etc) and I really did want it. Well, I thought I did. It was more that I didn't think I had any other choice.

TW: explicit mentions of transphobia and disregard and discrimination on the basis of mental health below. Skip the below paragraph if you need to.

I'm glad you're doing better. Yeah, I am not looking forward to college. I know there will be fun parts and all. But I had a go at college for three months back in August, and despite it being very liberal and open and stuff in theory, I had to drop out because the entire student body was isolating me because of my mental health and things my ex-roommate had said about me, and a lot of transphobia from the admin too. When I went to the dean and told her I felt unsafe and the environment was horrible, she told me to stop being so self-absorbed (and then denied she said that the next day to my parents). Luckily after the whole medical ordeal my parents had learned to listen to me and they helped me leave.

I will try again. It's just that it's... disheartening. That was design school, too, just like my next college will be. And I really did try my best. It's weird thinking about all that stuff because Tumblr and you maggots have kind of, well, healed it in a way, and given me such a safe space here that it feels unbelievable that the real world could be so, so fucking shite. Apologies for the vent here, but I do want to be honest, and I want everyone who's faced the same thing to know that they're not alone. Because I know so many people, too many, who've been there.

Thank god for Good Omens and you all. For the ridiculous amount of support and love and joy I've got here. It's easier to forget about all of it for a while when I focus on Crowley's pouts and Aziraphale smiling and making you all laugh.

And hey, you have nothing to feel sorry for. I'm so grateful to you for taking the time to write this. I love you too, anon maggot, so very much. Take all the tight hugs right back. I'm so proud of you for fighting for the future you wanted and deserved. I know it's not easy, both to fight with your internalised doubt and the others.

I'm so proud.

Good luck.

All the love, Asmi

VTuber Legend: How I Went Viral after Forgetting to Turn Off My Stream Vol. 1 Review

I came across VTuber Legend: How I Went Viral after Forgetting to Turn Off My Stream after it was announced it was getting an anime adaptation. I haven’t read any new light novel series in a while, and as a fan of (some) VTubers, I thought this series had the chance to be entertaining, even if it wasn’t that good. That’s what I thought–however, I wasn’t prepared for what I was going to read. Not because of how ‘wild’ or ‘lewd’ it was, but because of how excruciating it was to finish. Excruciating to the point where it seems like it was written by someone who has contempt for VTubers and their fans.

VTuber Legend: How I Went Viral after Forgetting to Turn Off My Stream is about Yuki Tanaka, who J-Novel Club (publisher of VTuber Legend) describes as a ‘twenty-year-old former wage slave that now works among her idols’. Those idols, Virtual YouTubers, otherwise known as ‘VTubers’, are streamers who stream themselves doing all sorts of things, such as playing video games, cooking food, or holding a ‘zatsudan’ (which are steams spent talking idly with chat). She gets hired at ‘Live-On’, one of Japan’s top VTuber companies. She streams as ‘Awayuki Kokorone’, a ‘seiso’ (pure and wholesome) VTuber whose debut has not gone as well as she hoped. She only has half the subscribers and CCV (concurrent viewers) as her genmates (VTubers who debuted alongside her). Even worse than that, she still isn’t able to monetize her channel, effectively making her a NEET! Fortunately for her, her luck is about to change!

As the title suggests, Yuki forgets to turn off her stream one night. Not knowing that her stream is still going, and people can hear her, she cracks open a Strong Zero and watches her fellow genmates. Her crude comments (as compared to her normal onstream ‘seiso’ self), combined with how drunk she gets, cause her to go viral overnight! Yuki finds that due to her unintentional stunt, her viewer count has exploded, and she’s gained enough subscribers to now be neck-and-neck with her genmates.

As I stated earlier, I’m a fan of VTubers, which I guess would make me the target audience for the VTuber Legend series (the target audience would technically be ‘Japanese VTuber fans’ in this case, but I digress). It wasn’t a good sign though when my friend, who also regularly watches VTubers, and had already read the first volume of VTuber Legend, replied simply with ‘60’ when I told him I was gonna read this. I thought he might just be being playfully harsh, since it’s fun to do that with light novel series. However, the further I got into VTuber Legend, the more I realized that he was doing it a favor by calling it ‘mid’.

My main issue, and what made me come to the conclusion that VTuber Legend simply doesn’t work as a light novel, is the format of most of its chapters. Whenever Yuki is streaming or collabing with other VTubers, she regularly talks to her chat. I mean, it’s what VTubers do. Hell, it’s what most streamers do. As you might expect, the chat talks back, many-fold. And we have to read that. The chat. You know, the thing that you usually hide while watching a stream?

‘The Chat’, as a character, appears in around two-thirds of the pages, and it is so hard to read. In any case, the amount of lines ‘The Chat’ has in VTuber Legend leads me to believe that the author had ‘The Chat’ feature so much as to fill up space, while having to type nothing but empty words and catchphrases. You know, the usual from streams. One might think you could just skip past and ignore the chat, like one is able to do in real life–but you can’t here. You’d be missing half of the story if you did. And it makes it so painstakingly difficult to read an otherwise simple read.

Another issue, one that is exacerbated by ‘The Chat’ being a main character, is the lack of variety when it comes to jokes. As you would expect, after Yuki’s viral incident, her love of Strong Zero becomes a common punchline. Kinda like how James Bond likes his martinis ‘shaken, not stirred’ and Snoop Dogg’s love of smoking weed ‘every day’. The problem is that Strong Zero isn’t the punchline–it’s the only line. The word ‘StroZero’ appears 249 times in the novel. Two-hundred-and-forty-nine times! For a book that only takes an afternoon to read! The word ‘martini’ is only said 59 times in all of Ian Fleming’s James Bond novels. Fifty-nine times throughout twelve novels (and two short story collections). The lack of depth in Yuki’s character really shows–other than loving Strong Zero and having a shitty job once, we know nothing about her. Otis Cambell, the ‘town drunk’ character in The Andy Griffith Show, had way more depth than Yuki, and he was a side character! Not to mention the jokes and gags around his drunkenness actually had some variety and showed some creativity, not just saying ‘StroZero’ over and over again. 

Reading VTuber Legend is kinda like watching the episode of SpongeBob SquarePants where SpongeBob rips his pants accidentally while weight-lifting, causing everyone around him to laugh in response. For a while, the punchline of him ripping his pants continued to be funny–but over time, fewer and fewer people laugh. It gets to the point where no one finds it funny, and even the pair of pants he’s wearing has enough of it and walks off. For those who already knew what I was talking about when I said ‘SpongeBob’ and ‘ripped pants’, I want you to imagine this: Imagine if the Ripped Pants episode was three hours long instead of eleven minutes, and the joke never got old to anyone. Add the effect of this being a book, something you actively have to pay attention to, and you get to the point where reading VTuber Legend is excruciating, like I said at the top. It’s hard to read to the point where I have a sneaking suspicion that the author wrote this to mock VTubers, or at least for the chat of VTuber streams, considering how repetitive ‘The Chat’ is. I doubt that’s the case though, seeing how many references there are to real-life VTubers in the novel. I’m sure that some of the jokes were lost in translation, but even if I was reading this in Japanese, I would be turned off by how many times ‘ストゼロ’ appears. No alcoholic beverage deserves that much praise, even PBR.

Most of the other ‘funny’ parts of VTuber Legend involve our main character being extremely lewd and crude to her fellow VTubers. This was also hard to read. It was like watching a second dead horse get beat. I don’t have much other to say about this except I’m glad it’s over.

The fact of the matter is that VTuber Legend is doomed to not be a good read, even if the jokes were good (and weren’t repeated two-hundred times). Most of the book takes place during streams, which would work in a visual format such as anime or manga, but fails to deliver as a light novel. Think about it–what do you think of when I say the names of popular VTubers such as Gawr Gura, Houshou Marine, or Vox Akuma? Most likely, you’ll visualize their model. Being a light novel, VTuber Legend is limited in how many illustrations it can show the reader. While there ARE illustrations, it doesn’t help that much. Most of the book ends up being akin to reading someone’s transcription of a VTuber stream. The emphasis on most of the book taking place during streams, rather than in between them, is bizarre, considering I could just go on YouTube and watch an actual VTuber stream and it be way more entertaining than reading the same two jokes being beaten to death for what is probably the 30th stream in a row. In fact, nothing in this book is even relatively subversive, especially considering drinking streams happen often (at least in the English VTuber scene). Of course, VTubers (and most streamers in general) have their own contrived jokes, but nothing bordering on how god-awful the streams in VTuber Legend would be to actually watch. Also, there’s no way anything this book ever spits out will be as funny as Rosemi Lovelock repeatedly failing to open a can of tomatoes on-stream for half an hour or Scarle Yonaguni cleaning her room. It’s hard to make something that’s already absurd even more absurd. It’s the same reason why most comedians impersonating Donald Trump often fail to say anything as funny as the man himself.

As harsh as I am, I do genuinely believe that the anime adaption of VTuber Legend: How I Went Viral after Forgetting to Turn Off My Stream will be better than the light novel. I mean, it can't get much worse than this. Will it be good? I highly doubt it, unless the animation studio takes a lot of liberties with the source material. Like, a LOT of liberties. Unless you’re a masochist, I wouldn’t recommend VTuber Legend. You’re better off waiting for the anime to air–or just watching an actual VTuber stream.

30/100

To Be Me (2015) by Anna Höglund

Rosa is on the edge of becoming a teenager and shares her thoughts of boys, periods, jealousy, body image and sexualization of young girls by older men. She spends her time making a comic about women's history. I don't have much to say beside relating a lot to this kind of thoughts from when i was that age. The drawings are brighter than this author's other books, and the handwritten text is thankfully easy to comprehend and read! 3/5 stars

- - - - -

Life in a Shoebox (2018) by Liv Marit Weberg

I really liked this book!! It reminds me so so much of one of my favorite animes "Watamote", where a girl tries to fit in with her peers and society only to try so hard she get completely weird. The second hand embarrassment is funny, relatable and deliciously awkward.

Rose just moved to another city to study at a university. Running 10 minutes late to the very first class, she falls into a loop kinda like "well they're gonna be mad at me for being late that last time so.. now when i overslept again might as well try next time .. and oh now it's gone too long to even show my face at all, wow going to class is really difficult puh". I was also like this!! 👏

Instead she goes full NEET on student loan (how long til they realize she isn't attending class?) and starts dating the first guy to ever talk to her on campus. Him thinking they had a moment and asks her later to be his gf. She's however only kinda waiting the relationship to run it's course, funny enough at Christmas she can't think of any gifts to get him so she pulls out — a heckin envelope with 500 SEK in it, and a non personalized note saying "Merry Christmas :)". She tries to save the situation by hitting him between the shoulders, saying "Get yourself something nice!" like a grandparent omg. He ofc breaks up with her.

After the breakup and failed study attempt, the parents are worried and suggest a monthly pay to help her back on her feet. When her parents asks what Rose's plan is, she honestly tells them that she's gonna live out the student loan and then live on their monthly "help". The parents go livid so she quickly lies that she has another class ongoing which calms them down.

Rose follows her plan by living on the student loan while barely leaving the apartment for months. Til the last month arrive and she has miscalculated, student loans are only transferred for 10 months, not 11. She has to call her parents for help to be able to buy food.

The mother noticing her daughter is actually following up the plan she presented them, decides to financially cut her off completely. Rose has to go look for a job, which is really really difficult since she lacks any skills, hate social interactions and is unmotivated.

Somehow, she lands a job at a station pub. Which might seem odd because those are always buzzing with social activities BUT this pub is basically a dead fish in the water. There's no customers (and if there were, the pub has literally nothing to offer) so it's perfect for Rose to just stand around, pretending to work.

The boss however decides to "follow his writing dreams" and hires another girl. And they are planning to start some sort of art magazine. Suddenly there's a lot of people in there and Rose has to actually DO WORK, and her anxiety is completely visible & understandable.

The magazine people have a beer party at the pub, Rose gets drunk. Her ex is there, and he's having a baby with the newly hired girl (they're all 20). The new girl calls Rose a "r*tard" and is baffled to found out her bf was with such a monotone person. Rose checks out and connects with one of the magazine people, a shy guy with glasses. Turns out he's also her neighbor - and have 38 baby rats. They connect over the rats and other things, and soon antisocial Rose visits him daily.

One day, glasses guy informs her he's quitting the magazine to work at his aunt's pet store, in the town over, so he has to move. Rose gets really upset about this, but glasses guy suggest she go with him? And she's like, heck yea! And her parents are happy for her. But at the last chapter, Rose takes a moment to tell herself not to get too comfortable because the "ball of life" will keep on rolling, that there'll definitely be bumps along the way, but nonetheless the "ball will keep rolling". 5/5 stars

random fun facts while im thinking about it because my google drive is so disorganized rn that its easier to put it on tumblr

-eves parents arent using her childhood bedroom for anything, they just made her live into the basement when she moved back into their house for No Reason

-blake is named after William Blake (the artist). a wild choice considering blake was not a very popular name in 1985 (stats are mixed on this if you google it but out of the few people given this name nearly all of them were male until like. the 90s. LOL)

-eve was a psychology major before she dropped out

-out of the main 3 characters, two of them dropped out of high school and the other dropped out of college LMAO. none of these people are staying in school #fuckeducation

-if blake DID finish high school, she likely wouldve gone to college for computer science. if she was in her 20s in the current day she would 100% be a software developer but im not sure if this is the route she would take in 2005

-eve is more a collection of traits she was taught are desirable than an actual person

-post canon blake becomes a taxidermist once she decides to stop being a NEET. eve works in sales or something (cant go into detail because i. do not know. what goes on in Business Offices. what do you Do in sales jobs. i think she understands equally as much about the corporate world despite working in it). if isaac had lived past 22, he wouldve either stayed working random minimum wage jobs or become a car mechanic or something.

-blake hates shoes because shes #based I HATE SHOES I WOULD NEVER WEAR A SHOE AGAIN IF I COULD GET AWAY WITH IT. i have to live through her on this one. she only begrudgingly wears then in rainy weather or winters because wisconsin cold is no joke. same with coats

-isaac will be like "idk how i keep getting into Situations :/ i just try to mind my own business and try to keep my head down man why is this happening to me" *vandalizes public property* *attempts arson* *heckles important pillars of his local community* *gets blackout drunk in public* *loudly calls most of the general public morons for widely-held religious beliefs* *gets into physical fights with strangers* "anyways im just a chill guy"

-isaac doesnt have his own computer, he messages people by "borrowing" his roommates old macbook (specifically a powerbook g4 (aluminum)). eves parents have a family computer, but she also has a desktop setup in the basement (its just like. shittier. havent decided the exact specs yet) blake's family computer is in her room and she is basically the only one to use it (it is also a desktop).

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTE: Some shit is about to happen. Brace yourselves. And thanks to everybody for your reviews, I really appreciate them!

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"So! That was, um, interesting."

Ai cleared her throat as they walked along the bustling streets. By now, it was later in the afternoon and the crowd was different; most of the people out and about either had business there, or they were NEETs who had nothing better to do with their time than wander around. "I'm sure. Sorry about dragging you in there, I just… I had been thinking about Crossroads since last night."

"Last night?"

"Yeah. When you said you would come with."

"Oh," she laughed. "Well, I mean, hey, if Lala-san is important to you, then that's fine! Though I'm still… I guess a little confused about a couple of things."

"Like what?"

What a would-be innocent question. Problem was, Rise could hear the anxiety threading through Ebihara's voice as clear as day. Even though she wasn't sure why, she had this notion that Ai wanted to open up to her even more than she already had, but was afraid of how she would react. She was too finely attuned to these things now to miss simple emotions.

"Oh… like… nothing." She linked arms with her and smiled brightly, skipping a couple of steps. Ai was dragged along with a slight grunt of surprise.

"Hey!" They both laughed a little. "No, but really, you can ask."

"It's okay! I just wondered where you knew her from." Then she smirked. "Probably helped you with dieting or whatever, before you moved to Inaba."

Ai's smile was a little pained. "Yeah. Or whatever."

"Sooo what's next? The whole day is ours! You wanna hit a pachinko parlour or something super skeevy? Oh — or a host club! I mean, all they do is shake you down for money in exchange for smiles from cute boys, but…"

Ai thought for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I… l-let's go to a karaoke bar. Host clubs are gross, I'm not into it."

"Totally with you on that," Rise agreed easily. "But it's whatever you want to do." In the back of her mind, she was still a little worried about the reason they were ditching in the first place… but she wanted to give Ai time to open up on her own. Badgering her with questions only sounded like the quickest route to get her to clam up.

They quickly found a suitable karaoke establishment that didn't look like a front for an underground drug ring or anything. Ai insisted on paying, so Rise said she would get their snacks. An acceptable compromise. They were soon set up in a little two-to-four-person room, taking a load off after walking around so much.

"Oooh, I could melt into this couch," Rise sighed blissfully as she kicked off her shoes, letting her head tip back and her eyes close for a moment.

"Yeah, for sure. Now I'm going first. When you take your turn, you're going to blow me out of the water with your professional level ability, so I can at least enjoy one song."

She frowned, sitting up to look over at her. "You think I would gloat about that? No way!"

"Not gloat," Ai chuckled softly, favouring her with a brief smile. "But… I've always been a little self-conscious about my voice. Even now that it's better."

"Better… than what?"

"Oh — here's a good one." She had been looking through the catalog of songs and was now inputting the selection into the screen. Some of the more modern places had touchscreen menus that you could just scroll through, but this place seemed a little old school.

What else would she pick but another old song? Though of course Rise had no idea who Momoko Kikuchi was, the name sounded very vaguely familiar… as did the upbeat little tune that started floating out of the karaoke speakers. She sank back into the couch, crossing her legs primly to listen with rapt attention.

"Hizashi gaaa… hitotsu yowamaru tabi niii," Ai sang in a soft voice. Rise was fascinated. Her friend's talent wasn't nearly as polished or strong as her own, but there was a hint of real power lurking under the surface. Somewhere along the way, she had stopped listening to common people singing — because she was surrounded by professionals. So much more gratifying as a reprieve from constant perfection.

And the longer Ai sang, the better. Confidence made her voice gradually grow stronger until she hit the final chorus, her repetition of the titular lyrics "MOU AENAI KAMO SHIRENAI" practically shaking the rafters. Rise was reasonably sure it wasn't supposed to be belted out like that, given the accompaniment, but it still made for a fantastic performance.

"WHOOOOOO!" Rise cheered loudly as she clapped, and Ebihara blushed and tried to hide the microphone behind her back, as if that would absolve her of all culpability for whatever crime she thought she was guilty of. "Encore!"

"Psh. You're just saying that because you don't want to hurt my feelings."

"Screw your feelings! That was amazing! Really, you need some practice but everybody needs practice. I think you could join a girl group; I mean, you're already super hot."

That definitely didn't make her blush go away. "Sh-shut up! Idle flattery is so lame!"

"And you're adorable!" When Ai sat down stubbornly and began to rummage around in her bag, she pouted. "Aww, come on, is it really that bad? Now you want to leave?"

"Not leave. I just… wanna take the edge off if I'm- yeah, there."

Rise felt her eyes go round when she pulled out a six-pack of beer. A full-blown six-pack! "Uhhhhh… what's, um, what's that for? How did you even fit that in there?!"

"For forgetting my bullshit problems," she grunted as she cracked one open, passing it to Rise. "And you too, girl. Forgetting my bullshit problems, I mean; I think I pretty much am your bullshit problem."

"But…" How could she be more diplomatic about this? "You really strike me as more of a wine spritzer kind of girl. Or something with melon!"

Ai waved a hand from side to side. "Yes, but my father didn't have that stashed in the fridge. And a bottle of wine would be too difficult to smuggle out! Now, are you going to get crazy with me or not?"

"Um, no," Rise told her flatly, passing the can back. "I'm not going to tattle on you, either, but I'm not… let's just say I had an unfortunate experience when I wasn't even really drunk, and I think that's probably enough. So I'll pass. Thanks, though."

"Ohhhhh, that sounds like a story," she chuckled as she tipped her beer up. At least she hadn't insisted.

                                                      ~ o ~

As their afternoon slowly approached evening, the two girls had a fantastic time in the karaoke. Rise did tell her the story, and she laughed aloud at how sloppily she had hit on Narukami while under the influence of what she thought was alcohol. Entirely psychosomatic. Then they moved on to swapping a few stories about him, waxed a little poetic about what a good friend he had been to everyone. Promised each other they would try to be just as close.

And little by little, Ebihara got freer and less inhibited. Rise was never that uncomfortable because she wasn't crossing any lines — not really. But those reservations that usually kept her from touching her for too terribly long fell away under the influence of alcohol, and she started patting her leg or hugging her randomly, grabbing her hands and spinning her around in a circle as she laughed and laughed. This was well worth the price of admission.

"So that's all it was?"

Ai nodded as she hung up the landline receiver on the wall. The front desk had just interrupted to ask if they wanted to extend their time another hour, and she had answered in the affirmative before returning to the previous topic. "That's all, yeah."

"That's not even that bad," Rise giggled as she took a hesitant sip. Beer was horrible, though she found it oddly satisfying. Still, that was plenty and she didn't want to imbibe further until she was drunk like Ai was quickly becoming. "I thought you might have been really into Erica's nail polish or something. Besides, all you did was put your foot on the table the same way she did — and because you're proud of how dainty they are now!"

"It was lame," she sighed as she plonked onto the couch next to her friend, clearly not intending to take the next turn at the microphone. "I was lame. They were just trying to hang out together and I inserted myself into their conversation. I'm really annoying."

"No, you're not," Rise scoffed with a small smile as she reached over to pat her friend's shoulder.

"I am! My own mother didn't even want to…" She trailed off, as if she didn't mean to say the first part of that and certainly didn't want to follow it up.

"What? C'mon, you know you can tell me anything."

"She… didn't want to talk to me. She just had some information she wanted to pass to my father, about some shitty bill. And she couldn't get him on his phone, so…"

"Oh. Well… at least you got to talk to her, right? Better than nothing."

"Not really. Like, we didn't have much to talk about. She wasn't interested in my life, wasn't interested in my new best friend." Rise couldn't help smiling slightly, despite the gravity of their current conversation. "I'm just not interesting to her or whatever. So fuck her. If she doesn't want a daughter, then I don't want a mom."

"Right! Geez, no wonder you've been in a mood for a few days." She could definitely relate to that. But she didn't want to make this about herself, so she just followed up with, "Yeah, fuck her! You're an amazing girl who is going to be an amazing woman, and if she can't even take time to talk to you? Then who cares? You just live your best life."

Ai turned to smile at her. The way her eyes were glistening with unshed tears made Rise's heart leap into her throat, but she tried to ignore that. They were going to have to get used to doing so. "Thank you. I'm not sure I think you're right, but thank you anyway."

"No, I am. I'm right about a lot of things." She nodded her head emphatically as if somehow that would prove it, and Ai chuckled. "Now, whose turn is it? I'm losing track."

"Wait. Um…" Now she looked a lot more anxious. Why? Hadn't they just cheered her up, decided to forget about her mother being horrible and focus on having an amazing skip day?

"Ebi-chan?"

"No… I'm gonna do it." Then she shotgunned the rest of her second beer, slamming the can down on the table a little too roughly. "You got this."

Rise didn't need to be told she was talking to herself this time. So she just reached down to grab her friend's hand, squeezing tightly in reassurance. "Hey, listen. Whatever this is, you and I can work it out. Are you still feeling weird about the kissing?"

"Y-yeah."

"Then, um… I know! We could find one of those host clubs and kiss some boys. Would that help? Like, if your most recent kiss wasn't from me…"

"No… I… I wanna tell y… you that-"

Suddenly, she stopped talking. Rise gave her a few seconds before she leaned in to whisper, "What? What is it?"

Instead of answering with words, Ai covered her mouth, held up a finger, and bolted for the door. No need to ask what that was about.

"Told her to slow down with the beer," Rise sighed as she whipped out her phone. To her surprise, she actually had a few messages; this was her third phone number, because the first two got found out by fans and she couldn't sort through all the spam to find actual messages from people she knew. But so far, so good with the current number.

YUKIKO: Kanji mentioned you weren't in class today. Is everything all right?

Leave it to the junior innkeeper to make sure she was taken care of. Smiling, she leaned back to relax against the couch until her friend was done voiding her stomach as she texted back.

RISE: Oh sorry about that it's all good~

YUKIKO: Oh okay. Thank you!

RISE: You want to ask what's going on but are too nervous

RISE: Riiiiiight? ;D

YUKIKO: NO!

YUKIKO: …Yes.

RISE: Hahahaha

RISE: I'm in Shinjuku with Ebi-chan

YUKIKO: WHAT?! Why?

So she told her the whole thing, as briefly as she could. While waiting for a response, she grabbed the key and ran down the hall to the restroom to ask Ai if she was alright — and only received a groan and some muttered words she couldn't understand, so she winced and headed back.

YUKIKO: I have to admit I am a little confused. How does Ebihara-san know those people?

RISE: Yeah she's being a little cagey

RISE: Maybe it's none of my business

YUKIKO: Maybe. But you are her friend

YUKIKO: Oh, Chie has an idea

RISE: CHIE does? What are you two doing?

YUKIKO: Nothing! Just hanging out

RISE: Mmmmhmmmmm YUKIKO: Really.

YUKIKO: Anyway, Chie wanted to know if that strong looking woman bartender was actually a man?

RISE: Oh… you mean in drag?

RISE: Wow I didn't think about that

RISE: Maybe but why?

YUKIKO: Hey it's Chie

RISE: You have a phone lmao

YUKIKO: SHUT UP this is easier

YUKIKO: Anyway like it really sounds to me like you were in a gay bar

YUKIKO: It's Shinjuku right?

RISE: Hey not everything in Shinjuku is about sex and gays!

RISE: But… you might have a point

RISE: But hey so what? You saying Ai has been a lesbian the whole time?

YUKIKO: Oh no no way

YUKIKO: Well maybe?

YUKIKO: Yuka told me about you making out and then feeling awkward

RISE: HEY that was a secret!

RISE: Wait did you just call her Yuka?

YUKIKO: Uhhhhhhhhhh gotta go

YUKIKO: It's me again, I am so sorry for telling Chie. She's my best friend and I didn't realise it was a secret

RISE: Oh it's okay really

RISE: I guess I just wanna figure out what she OH SHIT she's coming gotta go

YUKIKO IS TYPING…

But she would never find out what she typed. At least, not for a while. The banging on the door made her hop up immediately and open it.

"Oooh… I feel… like ass… I didn't want to… do this today!"

"Wash your mouth out!" Rise helped her grab her lemon soda, and she swished and spat into the wastebasket before taking a real drink. "Wow… hey, I mean I did tell you so, but I'm really sorry you're sick."

"It's… fine. I'm fine." Clearing her throat, she wiped at her mouth with her napkin, then her face crumpled. "I ruined my makeup… I look like a wreck!"

She reached up to run her hand over her friend's hair. "What? No, hey… come on, it's okay! I've got plenty in my bag, we can touch it up before you-"

"I was about to… tell you something really important. But now I just wanna sleep. Or kiss you. Or both."

"What?" Rise's eyes shot wide. "Oh. Well, um… I th-thought we were trying not to let those vibes take over, right? So… so I'm just gonna forget you said that. No big deal!"

Ai threw her arms wide, practically whacking Rise in the face. "IT IS! It's a big deal! You have no idea!"

"Then explain it to me," she urged her with a furrow in her brow. "Like, you know I wanna help my friend, but I can't do that with my hands tied and my eyes blindfolded."

"Fine. Here it is." And of course, she took another swig of beer, because that was going to help matters. Rise found it almost impossible to suppress the eyeroll. "You… are really fucking with my plan."

"Plan?"

"Life plan. I was going to… well, maybe I didn't have a good one, but I was going to finish myself and become a whole woman instead of half a woman, and find a rich guy and settle down, maybe just be a trophy wife. Narukami if I could tie him down. And now it's all shot to hell!"

"Whoa, whoa, you're losing me! You can still do all of those things! And what do you mean, you're only half a woman? You're eighteen now! Right?"

But Ai was already shaking her head, tears running down her cheeks. "I don't know… I should have asked Erica… but I've been trying so hard to just pretend, I didn't want to admit it. So I couldn't ask her! And now she's probably flying back to the States!"

"Ask her about what?! Ebi-chan, you're not making any s-"

This was the most unexpected kiss of them all. Not that Rise had expected any of the kisses, but the way Ai pounced on her, pressing her down into the couch cushions as she went for it with all the gusto she could manage… that was new. For the first few seconds, she tried to scream into her friend's mouth, pounded her fists against her sides and shoulders…

And then she just wasn't trying to resist at all. As always, the kisses from her new best friend felt more like kisses from a lover, and it didn't take long for her fists to come to a rest, and then for them to unfurl into hands pulling her closer. God could threaten to strike her dead if she didn't deny that this was the most amazing thing she had ever felt and she would have to wind up dead. She couldn't even lie to herself or to anyone else about it anymore.

Insane as it was, Ai Ebihara had overtaken Yu's spot as the one directly in the center of her heart.

When they finally broke apart, Rise was staring up into her best friend's eyes, knowing she must have looked like a deer in the headlights. Because even if she wasn't scared of her, she was still scared — of this entire situation, of her own feelings, of what this could mean for the course of her entire future. And her career! Was Japan really ready for a gay idol? Or bisexual, or whatever the word for her would be from now on. So many concerns were flooding her mind…

And there would be more. Instead of leaving her to ruminate, Ai's face scrunched up as if she were about to start bawling again. "See? I'm… it's all ruined!"

"H-hey, no…" Reaching up, she caressed her cheek as tenderly as she could. "Listen… you're not ruining your 'plan', it's… do you want me to leave you alone? If it's hard for you to not kiss me, I could, um, I could transfer somewhere; I have the money to rent an apartment. Or I could just… just do my studies in-"

"NO. Inaba is more your home than mine. You stay. And… I won't go, either, because it won't change anything. I just…" Fresh tears slipped down the sides of her flawless face, dripping from her chin. "I have to face the music. I'm a fraud."

That was it. So eventually, Rise had no choice but to prompt her, "What? I mean, you're not, but… what do you think you're a fraud about? Being a friend when we're kissing?" Ai shook her head. "Then what?"

"Me liking you isn't the problem. It's who I am. If I like girls, then clearly… I was just… delusional that I could really be…"

Finally, Rise sat up, forcing Ai back onto her own legs. She leaned in very close, pressing her hands onto either side of her neck. "Tell me. And whatever it is, we'll figure it out! I'm not going anywhere."

"You might." Ebihara took a deep breath, eyes turning to stare at the door listlessly. As if she wanted to disappear. "Thing is… I'm nothing but a liar. I've been lying about everything since I came to Inaba — to everyone around me, and to myself. When I met Erica, I really felt like maybe I wasn't, that it might be fine! But the more I like you, the more it must mean… I'm just crazy. I'm just a crazy, stupid, psycho who thought he could be something he's not!"

"No, you're not!" Rise whispered — and though something in that sentence sounded a little off, she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Not yet.

"I AM. Because I'm a goddamn boy who lied to himself that he's a girl, and now I'm in love with an idol and I've ruined my whole life! What the hell am I supposed to DO?!"

                                                      To Be Continued…

Cradlesona

Cradlesona #2

Credits to @lovingsiriusoswald ~!

Basic Knowledge

Name: Kat, soon to be silver/6 of spades

Birthday: 4/20

Age: 27

Height: 5′7 or 174cm

Physical appearance :

Hair: black,thigh length hair, usually tied up in on thick braid,

Eyes:Black

Skin: Tan skin,

Accessories:

An engagement ring on her finger, blue rectangle hair clips, heart shaped golden earrings, a gun holster

Social:

personality: Bold, a flirt, is a 100% straight but would 100% pin a close girl friend, actually really insecure it usually shows when she starts making jokes, sarcastic, blunt, once she starts becoming better friends with someone her awful jokes/sarcasm starts showing

Affliction: Her dad built her a little house next to his, would move once mousie and mousse get married, was going to live at the black army hq but multiple times was called out for wanting to stay at a place with mostly guys

Relationships:

Mousse altas: Oh boy, they argue a bunch of mousie, though kat believes that they could actually be friends, and that he can protect her, but just to get under his skin she bickers with him, would totally threaten anyone who talks bad about mousse though just cause hes mousies fiance, they actually once got into a heated fight and kat yelled at him differently then how she usually does earning a slap from mousie (thats gonna be a comic/fanfic tho) also laughs at how shes like a couple inches taller then him 

Mousie altas: BEST FRIEND OMG I LOVE YOU, ehem, she loves her and would die for her, loves all her treats, and if she doesnt she still eats them but doesnt ask for seconds, brings snacks over all the damn time, compliments everywhere,likes picking her up, she honestly cried when mousie said she was engaged (out of happy tears maybe?) *kat holding someone from the collar* "kat all they said was i looked like a kid.." "EXACTLY" after a fight (wich happens every blue moon) mousie finds kat at a bar and has to pick her up "LITTLE MOUUUSEE~!"  "hm?.." "IM SO SORRY FOR YELLING AT YOU CAN YOU FORGIVE ME PLEASE?" when they were at school kat was into lots of sports and whenever she lost mousie would be there to comfort her, i would say ranting buddies but more like kat rants and mousie listens

Harr silver: "damn" met him on one of those days mousie and herself got into a argument, kat went out into the forest to train were she found it starting to rain, her wanting to go back to hq she left, CRAP, lost, loki found her blah blah blah "hey wanna stay with me?" "not really-" "..." " i see that you wernt ASKING" but then saw harr and almost fell on her face "OH-" one of their convos, "who are you?" "uhh kat whatever your last name is" "!" "NO REGRETS" they didnt see each other for a bit after that but once saw him again to fight amon and noticed that he knew sirius, went up to sirius the next day like "dude i didnt know you had friends outside the army, ANYWAYS WHO IS HE?" honestly blessed sirius for being her wingman after the battle with amon but DIDNT LIKE SIRIUS when harr and she was actually dating and he would try to give him pick up lines or somethin, this boy, she flirts with him a whole bunch, she acts all smooth about it and stuff but once shes done with like two sentences she makes weird giddy noises with her face red matching harrs, harr does anything "YOUR DOING GREAT SWEETIE" harr once made her a flower crown and she may or totally did cry, took her a little bit to say i love you like mousie she wanted it to be romantic and jazz but she probably said it while huggin him like "i love you so much" they both froze loki"OMG IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TO SAY IT OM-" totally knew when he was proposing cause of either loki and also how can you not he asked her out for a date and he was fidgiting for every second of it, THEY BOTH CRIED WHEN HE PROPOSED, the next day  SHE NYOOMED OVER TO HER BROTHER BUT COULDNT GET A SINGLE DANG WORD OUT SO SHE KINDA WAS JUST THERE FACE RED TEARS STREAKING DOWN LIKE "ISAFEFYOUAINTKGOLSAFNANDHE DIKFILOVEEE HIMOGSG"

Loki: "oh hes kinda clingy but i guess hes kinda neet" after noticing that hes basically harrs son "OH F ME" kinda warmed up to him one day when she was laying with harr sge kinda was just like " your son- i mean loki is a constant on heat cat" loud coughing Red Army:

Blanc: "hey can i have an other slice of the carrot cake its really good!" blanc"????" oliver".... she cant visit no more" boom thats their relationship

Lancelot kingsley: After all that she and it was actuallly amon who was behind everything her reacting kinda was like "oh dang, OK COME HERE LET ME SHOW SOME LOVE" honestly just wants to be friends with him from all the burdens he had are they friends now? "more like acquaintances but im working on it!, sirius and sometimes harr are helping me on trying to help him open up"

Jonah clemence: ok so if she was going to try friending lance shes gonna HAVE to be on the good side with jonah, brought him macaroons from mousies cafe and told him she knows luka and so that was a good start, she sometimes gifts him lukas desserts. are they friends? "i would like to believe so! his tsun side is kinda, something, but when he actually lets those walls fall hes quite nice! right now were trying to get luka talk to him"

Edgar bright: "SKETCHY" shoot hes sketchy little thing but he HAS TREATS, likes his ducks, but honestly think hes really awesome with sword fighting, she asked luka about him and he said that hes "aright" so she takes his word for it are they friends? "yes?"

Kyle ash: asked if he can teach her some basic stuff for dressing wounds, noticed hes also a light weight YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, two drunks being dragged from the collar out of the bar and just laying out infront of the bar like rats, totally calls him out for him saying "Eat healthy" but then he drinks, tried picking him up it actually worked! are they friends?: "HECK YA HES COOL!"

Zero: "ok what the heck happened to you so i know who to murder-" actually started to warm up to edgar when she noticed that he was friends with zero, asked if she can pick him up, it didnt work, asked if he can pick her up, DID WORK, when she was in the dumps cause mousie had work zero gave her a lolipop, ".. omg your a treasure too.." Zero"what?"

Black Army:

Ray blackwell: CAPE BUDDIES! actually really looks up to him and thinks hes super cool! she joined a a few months before him, totally talked to him like a kid but when he became king she kinda was like "Crap waIT WHAT?" asks (she begs) if he can take her when he sees the ally cats, they bond over the kats, though she finds it annoying when they shed on her black cape

Sirius oswald: "who ever thinks im kats dad raise your hand- KAT PUT YOUR HAND DOWN" they knew each other in school, or more like she saw him when they were in school and she just stared at his bangs that looked like they were cut with a lawn mower IMSORRY, shes either on his side defending him from the brats like a proud mother hen, or she is the brat, shes like "no thats not smart" next day shes doing that thing, sirius is on edge around her just cause she can turn on him whenever she feels like it either shes on his side or not lol

Luka clemence: thought he was a girl "wow your really pretty." turns out hes a guy " WOW YOUR A REALLY PRETTY GUY" took a while for them to actually become friends but they got there! praises his cooking/desserts like if its the best thing on this planet COUGH it is COUGH, she gets up around the same time as luka does just so she can make it to the hq on time for breakfast, sometimes asks if they can spar if she catches him training.

Seth hyde: "are you gay?" insert shocked seth face, he helps braid her hair since she cant get it right i mean SHE CANT SEE BEHIND HER HEAD, when she came home one day from a date with harr, harr braided in flowers and seth felt betrayed cause 1: why didnt he think of that and 2:" KAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO BRAID YOUR HAIR WHA" he picked her out some dresses she wants to wear them so badly but doesnt want to one day look like she has somewhere important to be when shes just going on to get fruit, and plus she usally just wears her uniform, tried picking him up, didnt work, he "tried" picking her up " SETH WHY AM I TOUCHING THE SEALING"

Fennir godspeed: "FENNIIIIRRRRR YOOO WHATS GOOD MY GUY" REALLY LIKES TALKING TO HIM, like an older brother to her, he was actually the one who gifted her the gun holster+ a pistol since she took interest in his duel ones, though she only got one since she has shaky hands and needs to hands to steady her hands, tells him hes chicken for not eating his tomatoes, he still doesnt eat them,

Family:(will go in more detail in fanfic or backstory) Parents, two older brothers, two younger sisters Parents: AWESOME, LOVES THEM A WHOLE BUNCH!? Oldest brother: they were kinda close at childhood but drifted away when getting older Second oldest brother: BEST FRIEND, tells him everything, actually joined the blackarmy cause he did youngest sisters:was and still kinda is jealous of them but got over it and trying to fix their relationship

Miscellaneous

Shes secretly really insecure and laughs it off, but is honestly week sometimes and just cries and so shes just smiling while crying and in her head shes just like "Ah yes here i am making everyone around me uncomfortable" is also a stress eater but mousie thinks shes just enjoying the sweets, got bullied as a kid and jokes about it, had lots of friends but then they just left half the time so shes used to quick friends, likes fruit, if you gift her a fruit salad she will probably cry if you cant tell already she crys alot , sometimes she annoys people that are her friends and feels like traasssh is such a light weight its not even funny, when she was younger she was like "oh ya im not going to be a light weight imma be like my dad!" first drink "DAAD IM A LIGHT HECK" 

Snippit of a backstory- TO BE CONTINUED

Quick doodles of mousie and kat

Wedding Bells, Part Two (Steve Rogers x Desi!Reader)

A/N: first of all, thank you for your patience. Second, no, this isn’t the finale, we still have another part to go because there’s too much bloody content. Third, as always, translations next to the sentences and some references and other stuff in the glossary. I stole the mattress line from my darling @nasarogers xoxo

Taglist: @marvelrose @songforhema @chillingbucky @messy-random-bitch @officially-tonynat-shrine @thebookwormslytherin 

"So Steve was stabbed?" "Well, he didn't have his vibranium frisbee of death to defend himself with; besides my cousin stitched him up and he healed within, like 4 hours." Natasha sighed. YN turned around from the mirror she was admiring her sangeet* outfit in, looking at her. "Nat? You okay?" "Yes. It's the jet lag, I suppose." "That and the threat of the world ending, I'm guessing?" "It does seem strange; that you have a whole family of people here who are unaware of what their daughter does or how close she came to death the day of the engagement." "Even when I was in the military; many of them didn't know too. It's been tradition with me, I guess." "So, like, how hard is it to become an agent there?" Pinky frowned at the mirror while she met YN's eyes. "Do they swear you to loyalty to the US? Do you give up all your rights? Ooh, do they burn your fingertips off?" Natasha scoffed while YN rolled her eyes. Even of the kid seemed like a zombie, what with studying continuously and also somehow dancing the whole day, she still had her sense of humor. "I got in on a recommendation and because I knew Sam thanks to a training exercise we once had. And no, we still have our fingertips attached. Don't know about the Widow though." "I can see where Pinky gets her humor from, YN."                                   

~                             

The sangeet was a whole 2 weeks after the engagement. To most, it would seem like a very short one, but Rahul and his fiancee were both almost always separate, him working in Dubai while she worked in London. They wanted to get married as quick as possible, and considering how out of place she strangely felt here, YN agreed the marriage should be quick. "So what, you just...dance?" "Yep." "Is it a competition, then?" "Technically, no, but then again we love a bit of fun. Besides if we have you and Bucky we're pretty much guaranteed to win." "What's my prize then?" Bucky plopped down next to YN and Natasha who stood talking and snacking on some Ladoos* Pinky had snagged for them. Bucky snatched two, munching on one and holding the other out of Natasha's hands, who frowned at him. "Bragging rights." "Good enough." Somehow he'd adapted 10 times as fast as anyone, roaming around in a kurta* he snagged from Rahul (who immediately recognised him and nearly collapsed at the number of celebrities that were attending his wedding), lifting gas cylinders as easy as babies and generally having the time of his life. Nearly all of YN's female cousins (and a few of the male ones) were eyeing him like candy and the aunties were ready to mount him on a horse then and there*. Sunita chachi glared at YN sitting and eating when there was so much to be done and immediately beamed at Bucky getting up and nearly snatching the boxes of sweets out of her daughter's hands. "It's his first vacation in 2 years, and his first in Asia." "I think it's more of a move; yesterday he got drunk with Sukhdev chacha* who told him some kargil stories and he swore never to go back." "How many generations of your family have gone to the military?" Nat inquired. "Honestly, I've lost count." "And you're the self described "black sheep" why?" "Well I left a great job to work in another country and now even my boyfriend isn't Indian. I'm this close to being kicked out of the will." Nat smiled at how easily YN said boyfriend without stuttering or thinking. YN narrowed her eyes at her. "Are you psycho analysing me, widow?" "Nope, been there, done that." ~ YN looked up from her report to see a few kids running around. None of the aunties, thank God, otherwise there would be another lecture about 'doing work in a family function; no respect for culture' et al. She looked down again and immediately whipped her head back up. Snatching her phone, she called up Sam. "Who brought the kid? I thought he was an intern!" "Well, he, ah, snuck...in? He's very good at that apparently? We didn't know until we were halfway over the Pacific Ocean. And, well, I shouldn’t be telling you this but he’s Spiderman. Terrible at hiding his identity, how have you lot not discovered yet?" "Where the hell are you?" "One of your relatives dragged Steve and me to...God I don't even fuckin' know where. I'm sleepy." "Nap in the car." "You know I get car sick." "You fly around in metal wings all day and the one place you have motion sickness is in a CAR?" you shout whispered and dissolved into giggles. "Not now, woman. Oh, by the way, your boyfriend's being interrogated by your family." "Poor thing. I'm not rescuing him, though. I still have a dozen pages left of this thing." ~ "Iss bachhe ko khone mat dena, Pinky. Iron man ka beta hai." (Don't let the child get lost, he's Iron Man's son) "Bachha toh woh hai nahi kisi angle se. Shobhit bola Sunita Chachi ki scooty phas gayi thi, almost utha li poori isne nikalte hue." (he’s not a kid from any angle. Shobhit said Aunt Sunita’s scooter was stuck, he almost lifted the whole thing taking it out.)  Pinky remarked, cutting a tiny piece of the cucumber she was peeling and rubbing it against the rest. "Kadvahat chali jayegi, aapki jaati hai na jaise jiju ko dekh kar." (The bitterness will go, like yours goes after you see jija) (this actually works, btw, cut off a tiny piece and rub it against the rest of the cucumber and it isn’t bitter anymore) "Chup kar ja." (“shut up”) "Any luck with the gas?" "Another agent, who managed to infiltrate found traces of chloroform there. They're claiming it's for industrial purposes. How is that poisonous?" "Well once it reacts with sunlight, chloroform forms...what was it called? It was a question in the NEET! Something with a P, or a F?" "Phosgene." The kid answered, who'd clearly sneaked up to them while they hadn't noticed. Pinky frowned at him. "Haan, phosgene. It's been used in chemical warfare too. Drop a chloroform bomb, it'll react with sunlight and boom, carcinogenic gas that's pretty toxic." "It caused 85,000 deaths in world war 1." Peter added, not even glancing at Pinky who was glaring at him like he was a fresh piece of meat. "Dara mat usko Pinky." (don’t scare him, pinky) "Dara hua hi lag raha hai. Ab darr kis se raha hai yeh nahi pata." (well he does look scared, of what I don’t know) ~ "Your cousin was scaring the kid." "Who? Pinky? Everyone's scared of her. Maybe she thinks he's cute. Kids are weird like that." YN whispered to Nat as she squatted, adjusting the pleats of Natasha's sari. She looked stunning and perhaps even more of YN's small army of cousins would ask her out. Her answering glare was always scary to them, and amusing to YN. “This reminds me of last new year’s. I distinctly remember you dancing.” "Well, that was too much vodka. Involuntary. I plead not guilty." She smiled down at YN. "And I suppose you're going to set the stage on fire? Steve's going to have the time of his life watching you." "Could you maybe shut up about that?" "Self denial is going to get you nowhere." "She's right Di." Pinky snidely remarked as she sat up. "And no, the...well he's technically not a kid, Bucky said he's my age." "Perfect, date him. You'll get a job at Stark Industries, pakka. (for sure)" "Stop discussing my non existent relationship, please. Poor jija was red today by the time he came back with all the chachas*. Bet you missed him during your afternoon nap, with how you were cuddling me with a death grip. I'm not your bloody mattress." "Well, Pinky, when you get used to fuckin 6'4 Captain America as your mattress, nothing quite compares, eh, YN?" Nat teased her. "You two gremlins should've never met. Natasha, sit down and stop making stuff up. I've never, erm, used him as a mattress." "Oh was he on top then?" Pinky asked, smirking. At YN's gasp she rolled her eyes. "I study the human body, didi, have some respect for the profession." "Tum bio wale sachhi mei tharki hote ho."* (you bio people are really horny)* ~

“Shit.” YN draped the saree around her shoulder but the pleats looked awkward.  An emergency call from the states had delayed her getting ready. The cocktail party was probably held for the benefit of her foreign friends. Or maybe her cousins just wanted an excuse to drink. Pinky and Nat had both wandered off, Pinky promising her tons of alcohol in exchange for all the stares. “YN?” Steve asked as he stood in the doorway, eyes widening and jaw nearly dropping to the floor at how gorgeous he looked. “Yeah?” “Nat and the others were-uh, they were asking for you…” “Yeah, had a call from Tony, he was asking how it was going. Could you, uhm, help me with these pleats? I’d ask Pinky but she disappeared…” “Yeah, uh, what do you want me to do?” “Just-just bend and pull on them, lightly. Don’t do it too hard.” “Like that?” he gently tugged, aligning the pleats. She turned once in the mirror. “Yeah, perfect.” It struck them both at the same time how awkward their current predicament was. He stood up  blushing scarlett and she smiled and looked away. She’d never worn a saree in front of him, he’d only ever seen some old photos on her instagram from her college farewell. The tiny sliver of skin she had exposed at the waist and the mostly backless blouse drove him crazy. Resisting the impulse to run a finger along her waist, he coughed instead. She took no notice, busy trying to perfect herr winged eyeliner. Swiping some nude gloss and some pearl drop earrings to complement the cream of her saree, she pulled some curls out from her updo. “Come on then.” he offered her his arm as they set off for the gardens. ~ “You seem to be enjoying enormously, fake boyfriend and all.” Nat smirked as YN offered her a glass of champagne. “Oh shush.” “You do remember the last time you got drunk? Nat didi told me. No repeat performances, please. Your mother would kill us all.” “Nat! Stop spreading lies!” “So you didn’t sleep with him? You’re the real fattu, YN” “Now who taught you that?” “You talk in your sleep. And Pinky dearest was ready to translate.” “You two need to stay away. Pinky, you nerd, don’t you have anything to study? Or maybe even taado (check out)” “Oh so you’re crushing on spider-boy? How cute, YN’s softened them up with Steve, swoop in and take advantage.” “Spare me, please. Goras* aren’t really my type.” ~ She slipped and almost fell on the stairs she was climbing to her room. Steve, coming up from behind, caught her. Pinky had told him to drop her off to bed after YN and Nat both did a series of unending shots, horrifying the rest of the cousins. The elders were off to offer prayers in some temple in their ancestral village and the young ones were busy partying. She giggled like a teenager as she gazed up at him. “Kiss me, Steve.” “Not now. Not when you’re drunk and…” “You can’t get drunk, and when I’m sober even then you’re too scared to admit anything. Is there really nothing between us, Steve?” she sniffed. “Let me get you to bed, YN.” Pinky, coming up the stairs after putting a very drunk Natasha to bed, paused and retreated, smiling. “Sach toh yeh hai, fatti hai teri. Haath se bandi nikal jayegi, tab rona baithke.” (the truth is, it scares you. When the girl is gone, then you’ll sit and cry.) She punched his chest once and fainted in a drunk stupor. He picked her up bridal style and climbed up the rest of the way, gently placing her on the bed and kissing her cheek. Coming down, he almost bumped into Pinky, who smiled at him and wished him good night. ~ “Hey bhagwaan, my head hurts.” “Mmmm, with amount of vodka you and nat guzzled last night, I almost didn’t expect you to wake up.” She frowned at Sam over a cup of coffee. "I'm very hungover, Sam, I won't hesitate to kill." "Ooh, I'm so scared." "In all the excitement of YN's cousin's wedding, have you lot forgotten what you were sent to do?" Fury's voice crackled over the phone in YN's hand. "Paperwork and permits are a bitch. And we can't technically take them in if all they have is chloroform." "Then do another raid at night. Take him in, we'll slap on a record or two." "That'll take time to plan. And also, more paperwork." "Jesus, I'll ask Richardson to tackle all that. The 3 of them and the spiderkid will be enough for a minor takedown I suppose." "Tell him to hurry, then. We'll do the strike in 3 days." ~ "We get in, we detain him, S.H.I.E.L.D swoops in and takes care of the mess. He's got enough violations to keep him in local jail while the rest of the world fights over who gets to keep him." "This dude is fucked up. He's a weapons manufacturer from Tony's days and even has HYDRA contacts. You sure we can take him?" Steve read his brief as the Avengers sat discussing the plan of attack. "If he continues using ancient shit to 'return the world to the glory and safety of the dark ages' then yeah, not a problem." Sam shrugged. "Why do I feel this is a trap we're walking into? How do we know he hasn't anything much more sinister planned?" Natasha rested her chin in her hands. "This isn't his turf; no one's going to set up death machines because he feels like it. Perhaps why he's using the 'setting up a business' excuse. I doubt he has anything much more severe." "Call for backup, YN-” “Didi? What are you doing here? Chalo! (let’s go!) They’re asking for you at the haldi!” Pinky grabbed YN by the arm. “Aapka mehendi ke liye lehenga bhi alter hoke aagaya, lene kon jayege usse? Chalo, chalo!” (Your lehenga for the mehendi ceremony has come back from being altered, who’s going to pick it up? Come on, let’s go!) ~ She affectionately rubbed the turmeric paste on Rahul’s forehead as he frowned. Giggling, she handed off the plate to Shweta, Rahul’s twin.  She and Pinky walked off as the others took over to join in the haldi*. “We do miss you when you’re not around, you know,” Pinky bumped YN with her shoulder. “You insist on living so far away.” “Pinks, I don’t know. It always felt like I chased dreams that for others were too…” “Too big for us simple people?” “You know I don’t mean it like that…” YN frowned at her phone incessantly ringing. “Oh, it's probably the dude from the Ministry, foreign missions are always so iffy- Hello?” “Agent L/N, it's been a long time…” The voice on the other end chuckled as YN immediately recognized the figure walking towards her. She shrieked, “AARUSH! Kutte! (you dog!) You could’ve told me!” “Wanted to surprise you, and I heard Rahul was getting married. Couldn’t believe, only yesterday he was yelling his head off about how he had passed the JEE. And look at you, you’ve…” “I’ll leave you two to catch up.” Pinky grinned as she took off. ~ “So that’s the dude that’s our site rep?” Steve narrowed his eyes at the two people hugging and chatting on the lawn. “Yes, Fury sent a mail. And he seems to be exceptionally close to our favourite agent.” Natasha smiled at Steve desperately attempting to keep a neutral face. “Yes, he’s her ex. They both joined the army together, before that they were classmates.” Pinky put down the sweets she was carrying, joining Steve and Natasha on the verandah. “We always thought they’d end up together. The Patels have been neighbours for ages. But YN never wanted anything to hold her down, I suppose.” “Hmm.” Nat and Pinky both eyed each other, the red head raising her eyebrows and the other just shrugging. Later, as they stood gossiping over chai and biscuits in the middle of the night, Pinky told her all about YN’s once boyfriend. “In Hindi, the word for jealousy is the same as burning, and I’d say we saw a pretty big flame today.” “They’ve been like that for ages. I thought after last new year's they would at least take a step forward, but it seems they want to play around. Speaking of which,” Nat followed Pinky’s gaze towards Peter sleeping on the living room sofa, the rest of YN’s younger cousins sleeping on the floor, “Don’t go the same path as your sister. If there is something that can be pursued down that avenue…” “And what about when he goes back? And the fact I have a whole life here, unlike YN didi who gave it all up at a moment’s notice. Not that I blame her, family is always complicated.” “I came here for a mission but apparently I’m the relationship therapist now. Thanks for the tea, I’ll check in on Steve and his poor heart.” “Oh, poor Jiju*.” ~ Glossary: *Sangeet: a ceremony with tons of dancing, Idk man it doesn’t happen in weddings in West Bengal, which is where I’m from *Chacha: younger brother of one’s father *Chachas: the plural of chacha *The horse thing; In Hindu weddings traditionally the groom arrives on horseback, this just displays how eager the aunties are to get one of their daughters married to bucky *The bio thing: the context for this is pretty confusing asgdhfk basically in your senior year you have to opt for one out of three main streams: Science, Commerce or Humanities. Science has 2 compulsory subjects: physics and chemistry and you choose between biology or maths. The people with maths often consider the ones with bio as, well horny basically because we study reproduction and such (blatant lies, maths people are always hornier) *Goras- a pretty rude-ish word for a foreigner, particularly one that’s light skinned *Haldi- a ceremony where turmeric paste is rubbed on the bride’s and groom’s bodies, the reason behind it is possibly cosmetic *Jiju-abbreviated form of jija, i.e. sister’s husband

This is my hc for YN’s cocktail party saree and this is what a kurta looks like

PULSAR’S TOP 10 FAVORITE ANIME OF 2017

 PULSAR'S TOP 10 ANIME OF 2017:

Its that time again! Here's my ten favorite anime series of the past year. A few notes: 

1. This is just one dude's opinion. If your favorite isn't on here, it's not personal. 

2. I decided to include sequel series on this list after a few years of not doing that, because there were a couple this year that were so good I felt not including them would be unfair. 

3. If I didnt finish a show, its not on here. Meaning there are a couple shows like Inuyashiki and Juni Taisen that, while I've liked what I've seen, aren't on this list.

Here we go!

#10: GABRIEL DROPOUT A consistently funny comedy about an angel who, after graduating from angel school and being assigned to Earth, discovers video games and ends up becoming a lazy bum. Meanwhile, her best friend, a demon fresh out of demon school, has the opposite problem: she's far too sweet and kind to be an effective agent of evil. This show is a lot of fun and features a couple great supporting characters (a demon with serious delusions of grandeur and an angel with a sadistic streak). If youre looking for some laughs, this is a great show to check out!

GABRIEL DROPOUT is available on Crunchyroll.

#9: KONOSUBA - SEASON 2

Imagine the gang on Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia launching a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. It would probably end up something like Konosuba. 

I didn't think this show could top last season in ridiculousness and hilarity, but it pulled it off. This is one of those shows where your sides hurt by the end of some episodes because you've been laughing so hard. 

If you aren't familiar with Konosuba, it revolves around a group of four would-be adventurers: Kazuma, a neurotic and slightly perverted NEET; Aqua, an incompetent crybaby goddess and healer; Megumin, a mentally unstable mage obsessed with blowing things up; and Darkness, a masochistic knight. These four are complete idiots and manage to screw up just about everything they try to accomplish... and you'll end up loving them because of it. Watch this one from the beginning if youre looking for a great comedy and like seeing the "sent to a fantasy world" trope completely turned on its head. Seasons 1 and 2 of KONOSUBA are available on Crunchyroll.

#8: PRINCESS PRINCIPAL

This show was 2017's dark horse, it seemed to fly under a lot of peoples radar. Which is a shame, because this is a very fun and inventive spy/intrigue series. Princess Principal takes place in an alternate version of Britain which has been split in two by war. A group of young women double as spies for the upstart commonwealth who are trying to unseat the monarchy. And their secret weapon? The country's own princess, who is in on the scheme. With awesome steampunk-inspired character designs, great action sequences and a story with continuous twists and turns that will keep you guessing, this show definitely deserves a second look from people who may have missed out the first time. Princess Principal is available on Amazon Prime.

#7: KAKEGURUI KAKEGURUI is another show that flew under people's radar in 2017, largely because Netflix decided to wait until the English dub was finished to release it in the US. But I can tell you it was worth the wait. This anime follows a young woman named Yumeko who transfers into an elite prep school in Japan, where the student hierarchy is determined through gambling. Yumeko quickly finds herself a target of the student council when it turns out that not only is she a VERY skilled gambler, she is also very good at figuring out if someone is cheating. And she may or may not be a tad bit insane. If you like over-the-top psychologically-intense shows like Prison School, you are going to love this anime. It also has my favorite intro of any anime in 2017. KAKEGURUI is available on Netflix in English and Japanese starting this month! 

#6: SCUM'S WISH Most romance anime are very light and fun, or they are over the top to the point of self-parody. SCUM'S WISH is not one of those anime. This show is about how painful and unfair love can be. Two high school students appear to everyone to be a perfect couple. But the truth is they are both actually in love with other people (their teachers), and are simply using each other as a physical and emotional replacement. The characters in this show are not tropes, and they aren't necessarily all likeable either. One character I would almost call the best villain of the entire year in anime. But in the end, this show makes you care about all of them, to the point where you even want the worst of them to be happy in the end. Scums Wish is not a fun show. In fact, it is incredibly painful to watch at times. But it is absolutely worth watching. SCUM'S WISH is available on Amazon Prime.

#5: THE ANCIENT MAGUS' BRIDE A young woman named Chise is about to commit suicide when she is approached by a man offering to help her "find someone who wants her." Feeling that she has nothing left to live for, she offers herself up for auction, and is purchased for five million pounds by a mysterious individual who turns out to be an ancient mage. And he has selected Chise to be his apprentice... and his future bride. The Ancient Magus' Bride is an absolutely BEAUTIFUL show. There is a sense of magic and wonder to this anime that just draws you in from the opening episode and doesn't let go. And the relationship between Chise and Elias is fascinating. This show will likely top a LOT of people's best-of lists, and I absolutely understand why. The only reason its not higher on my list is it's only 13 episodes in, and there's a lot of story left to tell. I can't wait! THE ANCIENT MAGUS' BRIDE is available on Crunchyroll (subtitled) and Funimation (English dub)

#4: MISS KOBAYASHI'S DRAGON MAID A techie gets drunk one night, misses her train stop and ends up on the outskirts of town. She comes across a dragon, and being drunk, makes friends with her invites her to stay with her. She proceeds to go home, pass out and forget everything... until the dragon shows up on her doorstep the next morning, dressed as maid and ready to get to work. This for me was the biggest surprise of 2017. I went into this show expecting to drop it after an episode or 2, and ended up falling in love with its cast of hilarious and ridiculous characters. The relationship between Kobayashi and Tohru the dragon (which becomes more romantic over time) is absolutely adorable, and the supporting characters/dragons are all a ton of fun to watch. This is one of those series that just makes you feel good while watching it. Definitely give this one a shot! MISS KOBAYASHI'S DRAGON MAID is available on Crunchyroll (subtitled) and Funimation (English dub)

#3: ATTACK ON TITAN: Season 2 Attack On Titan, a show about a world where titans (giant humanoid creatures) threaten humanity's existence and have forced them into a giant walled city, is one of the most popular anime series of the past decade. After a four long wait, expectations for this season were impossibly high. Well, I'm just going to say it: Season 2 of Attack On Titan made Season 1 look like a kids show by comparison. This season ramped up the intensity and sheer terror to 11. Attack On Titan, in my opinion, is no longer a shonen-action series. It's straight up HORROR. And this is a good thing. The best thing about this season was the decision to split up the main trio of Eren, Armin and Mikasa and focus more on supporting characters like Sasha, Ymir and Krista. Ymir in particular went from being a background character to becoming the heart of the show, with her tragic arc being the center of the season's conflict. Fortunately, AoT fans won't have to wait much longer for Season 3, as it will be coming out this year! ATTACK ON TITAN Season 2 is available on Crunchyroll (subtitled) and Funimation (English dub). Season 1 is also available on Netflix and Hulu

#2: LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA Originally a crowdfunded OVA, and then a sequel, Studio Trigger's LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA finally received a full season this year, and it was absolutely worth the wait. This is an extremely fun and entertaining series about a school for young witches and a group of new students who have joined, including a young girl named Akko from Japan who loves magic, but doesn't appear to have much natural ability... until she discovers a magic wand that once belonged to a legendary witch named Shiny Chariot. Akko is instantly likeable and you will find yourself cheering her and her friends on even as they make obvious mistakes and get themselves into ridiculous amounts of trouble along the way. Her dorm-mate Sucy (who has a serious obsession with potions and isn't afraid to use her friends as guinea pigs for her experiments) damn near steals the show. And its a Studio Trigger show, so you know the animation is going to not only be great but exciting to watch, and that's definitely the case here. The show wisely takes an episodic approach for the first half, with the overall story arc coming into play in the second half of the series. LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA is not just one of the best anime of the year, it's one of my favorites of the past decade. LITTLE WITCH ACADEMIA is available on Netflix in both Japanese and English.

#1: MADE IN ABYSS

I agonized for a while over whether to make this or Little Witch Academia #1. If you were to ask which show is more fun to watch, Little Witch wins by a landslide. But Made In Abyss is the show that simply would not let me go this year.

In a world where a mysterious chasm has opened up in the center of the earth, cave raiders delve into the depths of The Abyss, as its known, seeking out secrets and treasure of the world below. A young aspiring cave raider named Riko one day receives a letter from her mother, a famous cave raider who has been missing for years, telling her to meet her at the bottom. With the help of her new friend Reg (a human-looking robot Riko found while scavenging), Riko begins a treacherous journey to the bottom of the world.

MADE IN ABYSS is a throwback in some ways to the dark fantasy epics of the 1980s like The Neverending Story. But this series ramps up the darker elements of its story over time. Do not let the cute art fool you: this is NOT a kids show. This show goes places I never expected, and in some cases places I would never want to go back to again. This show never feels "safe" the way kids' shows are expected to. The central characters are always in danger, and one false move could get them killed... or worse. There are times where I had to pause this show in the middle of an episode just to decompress because I felt like I was about to break down.

Prepare to be terrified. Prepare to be heartbroken. And prepare to see the best anime of 2017.

MADE IN ABYSS is available on Amazon Prime.

Thanks for checking out my list. Let me know what your favorite anime series of 2017 were!

Fall 2017 Anime First Impressions

And so here I am again, three weeks late because I can never keep up. Fall 2017 thus far doesn’t seem too, too bad, but I’m sure that will change, considering the multiple original shows on my watching list. Luckily there’s plenty of cute girls doing cute things shows, which is all I need, really. As usual, here’s what I’m watching, with MAL links and original shows marked: Osake wa Fuufu (MAL) Starting off with a short show this time. Osake wa Fuufu follows a wife, Chisato, and her husband, Sora. Sora likes making drinks, and Chisato likes drinking. Match made in heaven, if you ask me. The show even includes drink recipes depending on the featured drink, and a food pairing with it. It's a three minute show about a cute, drunk wife. What's not to like?

URAHARA (MAL) Taking a sharp departure from the calmness of Osake wa Fuufu, URAHARA involves three fashion-loving Harajuku girls saving the planet from aliens. This show is Harajuku personified. Everything from the character design to the OP explodes with a bubbly, colorful atmosphere, wrapped up in a beautiful watercolor aesthetic. ORESAMA's fantastic brand of electropop is the exact cherry on top the art style needed. Rito is the skateboarding, soft-spoken girl with demon horns, Kotoko is the peppy blonde kemonomimi, and Mari is the twintailed idol who also owns the clothes shop the girls work at. After aliens sucking up cultural landmarks appear, an American girl wearing a talking fried shrimp shows up, gives them "physical manifestations of imagination," and they promptly transform into magical girls and fight the aliens, making them explode and turn into donuts. Sure, that made no sense at all, but everything's so colorful. Capped off by a similarly bubbly ED, this show is just outright fun. If it stays about three cute girls happily fighting fashion-stealing aliens, I'm in.

Dies Irae (MAL) Just as an FYI, Dies Irae aired an episode zero prequel, but I've waited until the formal episode one before doing any impressions, seeing as the prequel was a complete clusterfuck anyway. Now then, after the prequel involving Nazi supermen, Dies Irae's main series cuts to the future and the protagonist Ren, a solemn oft-hospitalized teen. Plenty of mysteries abound - a sudden murder, a strange vision at a museum, a runaway friend, a girl calling him Cagliostrio in a dream - interspersed throughout an otherwise thoroughly boring slice of life. Following that, the episode alos teases plenty of the insane bullshit the prequel was few of. In one line, one character drops 5 proper nouns we have had zero interaction with, with the off mention of one name from the prequel episode. Foreshadowing is fine; introducing three characters in the span of 15 seconds and then talking about 5+ more of them is a bit much. The art is nothing special, and the orchestral soundtrack is unique enough, but if the prequel was any indication, this show is going to get insane, really fast. And not insane like the fun, rollercoaster ride kind. More like the trying-too-hard, unnecesarily edgy, impossible to actually follow kind.

Net-juu no Susume (MAL) Ah, the MMO spin on the isekai genre. Net-juu follows Moriko, a NEET woman living alone who devotes her time to playing a guy (Hayashi) in an MMO. She meets with an amazingly cute girl, Lily (who later we see to be a guy IRL), and they start adventuring together. Cut to 70-odd levels of grinding, joining a guild, and an upgraded PC later, Moriko/Hayashi has settled in just fine. First off, Lily's VA is the fucking cutest, holy shit. My reactions about echoed Moriko's anytime she was being cute. Other than that, the first episode was surprisingly sincere. Relatively light on the "MY REAL LIFE IS ON THE INTERNET!!" in favor of Moriko just being more of an awkward, lazy video game nerd. Using video games to not have to deal with real life is nothing new, but the heart with which Hayashi/Lily meet and grow in just one episode impressed me. This could go either way, and I'm hoping it stays a interesting vignette on the trials and tribulations of the two lives Moriko lives.

[ORIG] Just Because! (MAL) Next up, Just Because sees Eita Izumi returning after four years to his locale's high-school, reuniting with people he lost touch with. The first episode sees a wonderful moment of return, as Eita practices with an old baseball friend, leading the practicing band to strike up into the chorus they played at games, seeminginly on their own. The trumpets flowing into the full orchestral matches the rising tone perfectly. Juxatposed with a Photography Club facing termination and a former class prez buried in obligations, a web of connections lies in wait, ready to reaccept Eita. The art is quite muted, and even with complaints about the hot weather, the sun is behind clouds and the cityscape is grey, as opposed to the beating sun we often see. Just Because's first episode, while not telling much, showed plenty, and indicated what the main issues would be and who would be involved, and that's exactly what a first episode should do. If an original work is showing that early on, maybe it has more direction than most - and that's a very good thing.

[ORIG] Two Car (MAL) Sidecar racing is something I haven't seen, for sure. The island of Miyakejima, with its uncontrolled speed limits, is home to famous sidecar racing, or "kneeler racing" competitions, and the show follows the endlessly arguing but amazingly similar local team of Yuri and Megami. A bouncy pop soundtrack plays over the high-speed racing, creating a light yet competitive tone that perfectly fits the colored visuals, featuring the same artist/production company as Masamune-kun no Revenge from a few seasons ago. Discord has cropped up between Yuri and Megumi due to their beloved coach leaving for greener courses and the feelings they had for him as he left. The cuts between the high-speed raising and the melancholic, reflective flashbacks does quite well in explaining their movements throughout the race - catching us up to speed, so to speak. The tone of the show comes across perfectly as the episode closes, backed up by the fantastic soundtrack and beautifully done OP and ED. You just feel this show is time spent on an island, split between relaxing and racing. It's wonderfully done. It remains to be seen if this show will echo others like Minami Kamakura and Bakuon and go really into the mechanical aspect of sidecar racing. However, this show is a surprisingly emotionally-based piece where emotions are expressed on the race course - and I'm interested in more.

[ORIG] Animegataris (MAL) Minoa is our orange-haired, ahoge-sporting protag, called out by the school princess Kamiigusa to talk about anime, of all things. Go figure. Coming off the trash that was Gamers last season, the blonde perfect girl actually being a huge nerd is already tiring. Minoa is looking for the name of an anime that moved her as a kid, and to do it suggests to get the anime club back in action, then promptly gets roped into leading it. Her endless optimism isn't original but it's always refreshing, and the use of anime to let Minoa see "more of Kamiigusa's faces" is a bit better than just having the red face of a normally "perfect" girl besmirched by the recognition she likes anime. Also there's a huge-headed cat and a somehow magical beret, which came out of the blue just a bit. We get a sneak peak of the future members, ranging across all archetypes and social cliques, and then the magical beret comes back and the cat now talks. Interested to see where the hell any of that goes, but if this stays more comedy and less Gamers romance-misunderstanding bullshit, I'll be satisfied. Also, both the OP and ED (especially the OP - GARNiDELiA is so good) are great. Some very strange plot choices, especially worrying in an original work, but if they pay off this will be enjoyable. Let's just hope they do.

Mahoutsukai no Yome (MAL) Backing off the slice of life, Mahoutsukai imagines a modern day world intertwined with fantasy - beastmen, magic, and the few humans who can see it - one of them being Chise Hatori, ostracized for her power until she is bought at an auction by a legendary mage, Elias, who aims to make her his apprentice. Chise is actually a "Sleigh Beggy," a rare being that attracts "faries and mysteries," whatever that will eventually entail. Mahoutsukai thus far gives off a kind of Uchouten Kazoku vibe as Chise moves into Elias' tranquil house. An ostensibly normal-looking environment inhabited by mystical beings, and a duality of calmness and turbulent themes below echo Uchouten's politics. The juxtaposition of the forcible buying of Chise versus the welcoming environment she is brought in creates an interesting dynamic that I'm interested in seeing played out. The animation is beautiful, and the small switches to a more chibi style aren't disruptive in the least. Aside from some confusion about the initial setup of the world, if this show becomes a magical slice-of-life with even a fraction of the heart of Uchouten, I'm in.

Shoujo Shuumatsu Ryokou (MAL) Two girls in old-school fatigues, cruising around a cold, apocalyptic, industrial wasteland. Sounds cool to me. Chito is the collected, tired foil to Yuuri's galavanting, charismatic self. The animation is a bit divergent, in that while the landscapes are detailed in their greyness, the art of the two girls echoes something like Hidamari in its style. While initially strange, it didn't become anything more than just "noticeable." The muscial backdrop is a flowing, airy tone that fits well with the girls having fun praticing shooting or walking around looking for supplies.The music and the attitudes of Chi and Yuu create an atmosphere to the point that doesn't feel like a depressing, sober look at war. Seeing it through the eyes of two children also puts the concepts of war and conflict in eerily simple terms, providing a new look at a concept done to death, so to speak. There's a strangely relaxed feel despite the landscape and color scheme. It remains to be seen if this will go the route of Made in Abyss, especially with an out of place scene at the end of the episode, but while MiA was fucking phenomenal, I could do with less bawling two seasons in a row. This is a strange one, but the simple story of Chi and Yuu trudging across the snowy landscape is appealing.

Konohana Kitan (MAL) Cute fox girls working at a traditional Japanese hot spring hotel? I'm in. Yuzu is the nervous newbie, Kiri is the charismatic head attendant, Natsume is spunky and atheletic, Satsuki is responsible to a fault, Ren is the doll-like one whose personality doesn't match her cute exterior, and there's the diminutive, quiet Sakura. The personalities of the girls are varied and interplay nicely, and I look forward to seeing how Yuzu fits in. Moreover, the art is fantastic. The character designs echo perfectly the individual personalities, and the landscapes of cherry blossoms are stunning. I personally love the traditional Japanese aesthetic the inn and surrounding town embody, and it obviously fits well with the fact that the girls are all kitsunes. Konohana seems to me like a slightly less energetic/comedic Urara Meirochou, which is a good thing. The aesthetic is great, the girls are cute - this is a show for healing, and I need it.

Blend-S (MAL) Maika, a perpetual job hunter with her naturally scary eyes, finds her home at a cafe where all the waitresses are archetypes, as the sadistic one. Blend-S is almost like a more overt version of the varied personalities in Working!, with all comedy and less romance. I quite like the juxtaposition of the girls' normal personalities when talking to each other and their work personalities (especially when the line blurs). While usually its a cute girl who's actually evil or something and used as boring shock value, being the point of the show pivots the concept into a new way I enjoy. Even moreso, Maika especially has plenty of quirks that bely her role as the "normal" main character. The art is clean and sharp, and the girls have great character designs - I really like the facial designs. The OP, by the VAs (which is always a plus), is fantastic both in design and music, and compliments the more relaxed ED (which is also by the VAs). Overall, this show is friendly and the girls are cute. Sounds good to me.

Boku no Kanojo ga Majimesugiru Sho-bitch na Ken (MAL) Adaptations with stock character protagonists and plenty of overt fanservice.  Yay. I'm amazed this isn't from an LN, because it is exactly that kind of show. Shobitch begins with our MC Shinozaki confessing to Kosaka, which she accepts. Then she learns "how to be a good girlfriend," which far more often than not involves plenty of fanservice. Also, despite him having a girlfriend, there's a whole variety of other girls interested in him - the childhood friend and imouto get ticked off the list int he first six minutes. On the bright side, the art is great. Character designs aside from the protag are varied and well-drawn. Kosaka's earnestness with which she wants to be a good girlfriend is endearing in itself, but the 100% focus on sexual themes is just a bit tiring. Sort of like how Kuzu no Honkai went from seriously emotional to reducing any character motivation to "the only way I can be loved is physically." Regardless, you know exactly what you're getting into with a title like this show. There are some genuine emotional moments, but they are few and very far between. Otherwise, Shobitch is a well-drawn yet bland ecchi definitely-not-LN adaptation.

Inuyashiki (MAL) Last but not least, adding to the limited action slate I'm watching this season, we have Inuyashiki. Inuyashiki is, for lack of a better term, strange. It begins with nearly all CG, but then transitions to a mix of normal animation and CG for the rest of the episode. The first half of episode one is one of the most solemn, depressing sequences I've seen, and that's blown away by a whirlwind of aliens, body-swapping, and mechanical bodies. While the tonal shift is quite jarring, the change wasn't anything completely incomprehensible. The problem will be where this will go, now that Ichiro, our man with months to live, is now equipped with alien technology. I'm hoping that within the mix of action there will be a sense that Ichiro, now unshackled by sickness, can make concrete steps to make his life better. While the action shots were nice-looking, and the CG actually doesn't look half bad, with how emotionally powerful the first half of episode one is I want to see more of that as well. Either way, Inuyashiki has my attention, and I'm eager to see where Ichiro goes.

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 31)

Ruby and Blake trekked back to Keeper's Hollow, a pole on their shoulders supporting a giant, seven-foot long, several-hundred-pound weight tuna; the latter had a content smile on her face, her stomach noticeably distended.

“We're home, and we brought tuna!” Ruby called out as they came to the foot of the elevator. “Well, just a tuna because Blake got hungry on the ride back, but she'll share with everyone! Except Weiss, sorry about that!”

Silence, not even the sounds of anyone heading out to the elevator.

Ruby frowned. “Uncle Qrow? Penny? Weiss? Zwei? Any of you guys home…?”

It was then that she noticed three figures sitting on the highest balcony of the house--”Qrow's Nest” as her mother used to call it, because of how fond he was of going up there alone. One was clearly Zwei, laying down and looking forlorn; the other two were sitting over the edge, nursing drinks in their hands.

Ruby sighed, her face falling. <Oh no...>

Blake frowned. <You need help with drunk duty?> she asked as they set the tuna down on the ground. <I'll help with Qrow, but Weiss is all yours.>

Ruby shook her head. <Nah, I got this; you get this tuna in the fridge, before the Weavers' spell starts to run out,> she said as she headed up the ladder on the side.

After the fish was safely cut up and stored, Ruby made her way up to Qrow's Nest. Zwei looked up from both Qrow's and Weiss' laps as she poked her head out of the hatch; he panted happily at her, before put his heads back where they were, anchoring them to the floor with his weight, eyes watching them both carefully.

Qrow turned around and waved. “Hey Ruby,” he said, slurring slightly.

“Hey Uncle Qrow,” Ruby said, trying to smile. “You're not both drunk, are you...?”

“Just buzzed, but Weiss is 100% sober,” Qrow replied, before he took another sip of his beer.

“It's impossible to get drunk on milk, after all,” Weiss grumbled, before she took a swig of her own drink.

Ruby blinked. “You're drowning your sorrows in milk?”

“Yes! Because apparently the fermentation process for all your alcohols involves so much bacteria it'll utterly annihilate my stomach as is, and your uncle here only seems to ever buy the shitty, beer-flavoured water than the good brands.”

“Well excuse me for being poor…” Qrow muttered.

“So, how'd the Job Gauntlet go?” Ruby asked quickly.

“Terrible!” Weiss replied. “I failed every single exam. Did you know I'm completely unqualified for any sort of job the Fae could offer me? I have printed evidence from the professionals to prove it, just ask Penny when she's done with her daily maintenance!”

“Did you try the Watchers like Elder Goodwitch asked?”

“She did,” Qrow replied. “The holo for her combat test's gone viral all over AoA.” He switched languages. <It's called 'Soft-Skin Schnee Gits Wrekt.'>

“Go watch it,” Weiss grumbled.

Ruby frowned. “I don't know, Weiss, it sounds pretty--”

“Just do it. The sooner all of you Fae watch it for the fifteen-hundredth time and collectively get sick of it, the better.”

“Shit, Weiss, that holo's going in the Hall of Fame!” Qrow said. “Hundreds of years from now, we're still going to be pulling that out of the Codex and thinking 'Man, you'd think this'd get old, but it just gets funnier each time!'”

Weiss scowled. “That's a very encouraging thought, Qrow,” she said through gritted teeth.

Qrow shrugged. “Just making sure your expectations are realistic! It's easier to just face your shit reality and do something about it now, than waste time and energy pretending things are going magically to become better. Trust me, sooner or later, the smell's going to be impossible to ignore.”

Ruby sighed quietly. “I'll just go do that, then...” she said as she climbed back down.

“Watch it on the HV!” Qrow called out. “It's better with big resolution!”

Later, Blake and Ruby were sitting on the couch, grilled tuna slices, cookies, and milk between them. They loaded up the holo, skipped through the technical details and the info that was for the benefit of the senior Watchers handling recruiting.

They watched Zwei come out from the cage. Ruby smiled, Blake frowned.

<...And for the purposes of this test: ZWEI on FIRE!> Nora cried.

Zwei was set alight with soul fire. Ruby frowned, Blake smiled.

As the giant, flaming, two-headed canine came bounding towards her, Weiss turned around and fled, arms in the air and screaming at the top of her lungs.

<… And our recruit is off, trying to put some distance between her and—oh, nope! Zwei caught up to her already.> In Nivian, “Cardio, Weiss, cardio!”

Weiss replied by shrieking in renewed terror as Zwei grabbed her in one of his mouths, bit down just hard enough to hold her steady as he shook her side-to-side.

“Use your sword!” Nora cried.

Weiss whacked the hilt on the side of Zwei's head.

“Use your sword as a sword!”

Zwei carefully tossed her away. Weiss went flying for several feet, rolling as she hit the dirt. She dropped her rapier as she scrambled back up to her feet and started running for higher ground.

“Wait, Weiss—you dropped your weapon!”

“I KNOW!” Weiss screamed, tears streaming down her face now.

Zwei stopped and looked up at Nora, conflicted and still alight.

<Go get her, boy!> she called out. <She's not going to pass if you go too easy on her!>

Zwei turned to Weiss over on the other side of the arena, sobbing and jumping up and down, trying to reach a handhold that was just slightly taller than she was.

Blake choked on her fish from laughing so hard. Ruby smacked her on the back as they continued watching.

“Turn around and shoot him!” Nora cried. “His vitals are getting low! Well, low enough for you to get a good score!”

Weiss turned around, held up her shooting arm, and fired. Because of the tears in her eyes and the absolute terror she was experiencing, most of the darts missed Zwei in spite of him being an incredibly large target that was only getting closer.

Weiss ran out of ammo, the repeater kept on spinning and whining as she held the trigger.

“Reload! Reload! Reload!”

Weiss started smacking the release lever, her hand missing several times.

“No, Weiss, point it away from your--!”

The empty canister popped out and flew into her eye. “GAH!”

“--Too late.”

Weiss groped about, dropping two of her extra canisters before she finally got a grip on the third. She was about to load it into her repeater when the bright glow of the Pit's floodlights were replaced by an ominous, green hue.

Zwei slowly padded up to her, both heads deep in thought, unsure of what to do.

Weiss screamed, threw the canister at him, it bounced harmlessly off his left head.

Zwei barked.

Weiss dropped to the floor and curled up in the fetal position.

The horn was sounded.

Birds came by and dropped cure water on Zwei, extinguishing the soul fire. An extraction crew came up, along with Penny and a Therapy Mender carrying a well-worn, much-loved limited edition Eluna plushie the Watchers kept on-hand for situations like this.

There was a final shot of Weiss hugging it and squeezing it to her chest as she was carted away, before the video ended.

Blake snatched up the remote, and pressed the replay button.

Ruby heard a door opening, turned around saw Weiss dejectedly walking back into their room, her milk exchanged for one of her bottles of bacteria culture. She picked up her dinner and went on after her.

She knocked on the door with her horns. “Weiss?” she called out. “Can I come in?”

“It's your room, you decide!”

Ruby frowned, and opened the door. She saw Weiss already lying on her side in her hammock, gently rocking back and forth as she hugged Winter's Eluna plushie, an empty bottle on the floor.

“You want some milk and cookies?” she asked as she held up her dinner.

“Already had way too many,” Weiss muttered.

“Okay,” Ruby said. She walked over to her nest, and sat down on one of her pillows. “So...”

“So, what am I going to do about my being a NEET?”

“A what?”

“It's an acronym: 'Not Employed, in Education, or Training,'” Weiss explained. “I guess it's the human equivalent of Moss.”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, that. So, do you have any talents or anything? Song, dance, arts and crafts, maybe? I'm sure we can use your being a human as a gimmick while you're starting out and building a fan base—I'll even be your audience if you need someone to test an act out on!”

“I can sing, but I think I'll just sell my body to science,” Weiss replied. “If being a star with the Fae is anything like being a star with us humans, the competition's going to eat me alive by virtue of being able to talk with their fans anytime they want without needing a translator…”

Ruby frowned. “Weiss...”

“You don't need to come with me to the Chronicler's Grove,” Weiss said as she turned away from Ruby and to her other side. “Qrow and Penny are already overdue for a 'brain drain,' so they're taking me with them tomorrow morning.”

Ruby sighed and put her food down. “Weiss, you can't just give up like this!” she said as she got up and walked over to the other side of her hammock.

“And why not?!” Weiss snapped, glaring at her, tears beginning well in her eyes once more. “Let's face the facts here, Ruby: I'm completely, absolutely useless to all of you!”

Ruby blinked. “Well duh! I thought that was already pretty obvious.”

Weiss gritted her teeth. “You were supposed to tell me I'm not useless.”

Ruby frowned. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I was fishing for compliments!”

“Fishing for what now?”

“It's when we talk bad about ourselves so other people will try and make us feel better...”

Ruby paused, and slowly raised a finger. “Weiss, let me get off topic for one moment:

“THIS IS WHY I FUCKING HATE NIVIAN! 'THE DOVE DOVE,' 'THE KNIGHT RIDES OUT AT NIGHT,' THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF 'SARCASM' WHERE YOU SAY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU MEAN FOR 'EMPHASIS'!

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER INVENT A UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE FOR EVERYONE IN AN ENTIRE REALM WITH THE INTENT OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD 90% OF THE DAMNED TIME?!

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HUMANS?!”

Weiss stared up at her, stunned.

“Whew!” Ruby sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I'm sorry, but I had to get that out of my system!

“Anyway… Weiss, you're going to find something you can do to make yourself useful, and even if it's probably going to be just me and Penny, we're going to help you find it. We'll put you through a training regime, teach you Actaeon and all the other stuff you'll need to know, help you develop a skill than you can use to make something out of your life!

“There's a saying in Actaeon—something about every animal, from the smallest bacteria to the biggest monsters in the Timeless Depths being here in Avalon for a reason, all of them with a purpose in life, and because we Fae are animals too, that means we have those too!

“Maybe it won't be as obvious and instinctive as sheep existing to eat grass and get eaten by thunder wolves, who keep their population in check so they don't eat all the grass and everyone dies of starvation…

“… But you're not going to be useless forever, Weiss.

“Maybe now, yeah, you can't do anything right, but way back when, the Valley was just a big patch of wet dirt and swampland that happened to get shade from the sun because of the Twin Peaks, and retained a lot of the water from the Flood.

“But now look at it, after we Fae moved in and put in the work to try and make it better...”

Ding.

Weiss could see the light bulb go off in Ruby's head.

“… And I just got a great idea!”

“It's not going to involve faking my own death again, is it...?” Weiss asked warily.

“Nope!” Ruby replied, beaming. “Go to sleep, Weiss—you're going to need it!” she said as she hurried on out, stopping only to grab her dinner.

Weiss sat up. “Ruby, wait--!”

She was already out the door.

Weiss sighed, before she laid back down, and decided to just do as she was told and get some shut-eye.

Whatever it was Ruby had planned this time, it could wait till morning.

In the living room, Qrow and Blake were still rewatching the footage of Weiss' ill-fated fight, drinks laid to the side after one too many choking and spitting incidents.

<Uncle Qrow!> Ruby said as she zoomed up right to the back of the couch.

Qrow turned around. <Yeah, Ru--?> he dodged and avoided being accidentally gored with her horns.

Blake noticed, and paused the video.

<Sorry!> Ruby cried. <Do we still have dad's old tools?>

<Uh, yeah, they're in the shed, still on the old hooks on the wall—why do you ask?>

<Because, I've got a great idea to help Taiyang stay here!> Summer replied.

Qrow blinked, shook his head, and noticed Ruby frowning at him.

<A flash again...?> she asked.

<Yeah, don't worry about it,> Qrow replied.

Ruby sighed. <You should really go get your chronicle fixed, Uncle Qrow.>

<Not until that doesn't come with a mind wipe...> Qrow grumbled as he turned back to the HV. <Go get Penny to help you, I've stuffed a LOT of crap in there over the years, and I don't know what might have nested there since the last time I opened that door.>

<Will do, Uncle Qrow!> Ruby said, before she zoomed off once more.

<What was that all about?> Blake asked.

Qrow shrugged. <Who knows? Now unpause that holo, we're almost to the best part!>