#self projecting onto sam? more likely than you think
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in re: “cas knows dean better than sam”
“cas sees dean as a whole person and sam just sees dean’s façade as his big brother slash parent” but like how and where. outside of your fanfiction. season and episode. scene and line. if it’s so obvious and apparent you should have at least 3-5 concrete examples right? “sam doesn’t know dean carried him out of the burning house” yeah but did cas? outside of a footnote in the angelic manila folder they gave him between seasons 3 and 4 so he could better manipulate him and sam into doing heaven’s bidding? like if you’re going to say “cas knows dean better than sam” than you need to show how cas succeeds where you perceive sam to be failing at the very least. but even your perceptions of how sam doesn’t measure up are so warped, blinkered, and moronic that it wouldn’t even be worth much if you could provide the textual evidence, but at least you’d have a semblance of a point. like say anything without going “as an eldest daughter…” “well my relationship with my sibling isn’t…” please say anything without fucking projecting your own self-pitying crybaby bullshit onto your little woobie dean and using the actual canon text of the show. I’m literally begging you.
like the thing of it all is and always has been that you’re so hell-bent on twisting the sam and dean relationship to fit into this narrow and almost entirely inaccurate mold which is the basis upon which you build the entire Destiel Mythos that you literally lose all sense of media literacy. you don’t even miss the forest for the trees, you miss the trees for like, the pretend invisible things you’re seeing in between the trees, the forest is a whole long way away from your current level of perception. because the Destiel Mythos is based entirely on the fact that dean is Not Seen and Not Appreciated and Not Loved and Cannot Be Himself until cas comes along, and that Family (read: sam) Is Only A Burden on Him That He Must Be Freed From In Order to Flourish, so you keep trying to warp the sam relationship into something that is only one dimension of it – and keep ignoring the ways in which dean is seen, loved and understood within it, because you need to keep lying to yourselves that there is a narrative need to emancipate dean from something that he has never wanted emancipation from because it is ultimately a net good for dean in the particular circumstances of their lives. it’s also profoundly unhealthy, codependent, evil and toxic etc. (a lot more dean’s fault than sam’s but I will nawt be getting into all that right now) but that doesn’t change the fact that sam and dean both know and understand and feel deeply that they are each other’s person – that they know the best and love the most in the world. but that – which IS true canon fact – is incompatible with the Destiel Mythos so it must be ignored and all good sense must be thrown out the window in order to do it.
anyway i digress there are two main categories of Bad Thinking that i will be addressing below
childhood/ “parent/child” / blah blah blah
every single thing people are saying in favour of the deeply stupid thesis in the title of this post is proof positive of the very silly form of ‘analysis’ I just described. a few things:
“wah sam didn’t know that dean carried him out of the burning house :( this means that dean withholds things from sam to protect him because he is a PARENT and sam can only know things about him in the context of him being a PARENT to him” – what the fuck are you on about genuinely. first of all reducing the sam/dean relationship exclusively to parent/child is in itself foolishness for so many reasons that I don’t have time for right now. but also, it’s clear that this is just something that happened when sam was a baby that just never came up. in the scene (1.09) where this is brought up, dean is mildly surprised that he or john never mentioned that detail and then states that sam knows the rest of the story (i.e. the actual traumatic stuff) just as well as dean does – which is true, demonstrably whenever they talk about it.
obviously there are some things that happened to dean in their childhood that sam doesn’t know about (or didn’t know about, until told in whatever episode they come up in). equally, there are things dean doesn’t know about sam’s childhood, e.g. the fact that he was so lonely he needed a zanna (11.08). or how dean didn’t remember that sam was friends with barry cook until he mentions it when they go back to their old school (4.13). or about the nature of sam’s relationship with amy pond (7.03). these don’t mean that ‘sam withheld these things to protect dean out of parental love’ lol, it’s just that there are details and events in each of their lives that the other happens to not have been told about.
similarly “sam didn’t even know dean wanted to be a firefighter L” girl did dean know sam wanted to be a lawyer? in 1.01 he’s pretty surprised that sam has a law school interview. the point here isn’t “neither sam nor dean know each other well,” these are minutiae that aren’t relevant to how well you know someone as a whole, and very poorly demonstrate the bad and inaccurate point that dean withholds things from sam the way a parent does a child (on a constant or regular basis). obviously the way they were raised, sam was deemed too young to know about certain things until he got older and dean had to keep that secret, but as shown in 3.08 flashbacks, most if not all of this is eventually revealed throughout their childhood when sam is still fairly young.
or possibly the dumbest one is that “wah sam doesn’t even know that dean reads books L” whenever that was he was also obviously joking because in more serious moments (e.g. 8.14) he admits that dean is smart/a better researcher than he is, literally remembers dean reading to him as a kid (8.21) so like. clam down
one of the extra annoying variants of this type of ‘proof’ covers things that are very clearly novel pieces of information about dean that dean, sam, and the audience are learning about dean in real time. like if you’re actually watching the show to comprehend it as it was intended to be comprehended, instead of funnelling everything through the Destiel Machine until it’s unrecognizable slop that fits neatly into your pre-ordained molds that Make Destiel Necessary In the Narrative (when it actually isn’t, at all) it’s abundantly clear. the top two worst offenders:
“sam didn’t even know that dean is good with kids :( he doesn’t even realize that dean raised him :(” first of all you people need to understand that parentification does not literally create a parent-child dynamic between siblings but I digress – this doesn’t make any sense bro. in 1.03 dean admits he doesn’t know any kids as an adult. dean being good with his own kid brother when they were both kids is to any reasonable person not necessarily linked with him being good with other random kids when he’s an adult. in 1.03 it’s clear that dean himself is a bit surprised that he’s able to connect w/ lucas so well because he’s clearly not dealt with a lot of kids since sam grew up. the whole point of this is that dean, sam, and the audience are all sort of seeing a new side of dean. who again is just 26. after this very early episode, there’s no question from sam that dean is able to connect w kids. sam being a bit surprised by this also has absolutely zero connection with him not understanding or realizing that dean looked out for him when they were both kids – sam is standing there at 22 years of age talking about adult dean and children – of fucking course he doesn’t mean himself are you stupid.
from the very first season, sam is very clearly aware of everything dean ~did for him~ when they were kids, see e.g. 1.21: “Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. […] For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And I don't know, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.”
and 1.06: DEAN: Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way. (SAM laughs.) SAM: Yeah, I know you are.
and then possibly even more stupidly, the one where it’s like “wah sam doesn’t even know dean can cook :( he doesn’t even know that DEAN was the one making him food as a babe in arms :(” – when sam is surprised that dean made something fairly gourmet and from scratch literally the first time they have ever had a permanent living space with a functional kitchen. in this VERY scene (8.14), dean himself points out that they haven’t had a kitchen before and when sam remarks on the irregularity of him doing serious cooking, he says “I’m nesting”, clearly showing that this is a novel development because they now have a kitchen, and that it’s irregular relative to past behaviour – both of them acknowledge this. because real proper in-depth cooking and making box mac and cheese for sam until he was like 11 and old enough to be left alone are two different things, which sam understands because he’s smart, unlike whoever chooses to make this point. dean never showed significant signs of liking to cook before this, which is what the exchange is about, but he did have to prepare food for them both when sam was too young – of course sam knows he had to, there are childhood memories referred to (e.g. 14.11) where sam is mentioned to literally help dean do the cooking as kids lol (and yes, genius, sam says ‘I didn’t know you knew what a kitchen was’ or something to that effect, but if you think he’s being 100% literal there I have an oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you)
again, obviously there are pieces that sam doesn’t know about dean, e.g. when he’s talking about his response to mary dying in 1.03. but again, Sam is 22, dean is 26, the last time they were in regular contact was when sam was 18-20, these are things that happen when people grow up, they’re able to reflect and share on childhood experiences if they’re close with their siblings as adults. it’s clearly not something that 26 y/o dean wanted to hide from 22 y/o sam. yes sam didn’t know everything about how dean felt when they were young, but that’s equally true in the other direction, and it’s such an irrelevant point in this discussion when, crucially, sam does learn these things about dean mostly fairly early on in the series (i.e. when they’re really not that deep into adulthood yet). cas was also not magically blessed w/ knowledge about dean, he also had to learn whatever it is that he knows, but somehow sam has to know everything about dean from age 7 or it doesn’t count when it’s sam lol.
“sam doesn’t know the One True Dean / doesn’t see through his facades”
the next branch of defending this flawed thesis is invariably that sam has little idea of the fronts and facades that dean puts up and is content to just believe them, whereas cas digs deep and sees the One True Dean that stupid sam always misses. there is nothing in the text that demonstrates this is true. multiple times, we see sam being very knowing of the fact that dean puts up fronts and facades. sam is also knowledgeable of the way dean perceives himself, and – demonstrated in multiple episodes before such sam lines were very poorly recycled and regurgitated into cas’s dialogue in 15.18, but keep acting like that was the first time anyone ever showed that they knew the One True Dean.
Obviously there are times where sam teases dean when he’s being more touchy-feely than usual, but 9.99 times out of 10 (as a conservative estimate in case there's something i'm forgetting otherwise i would say every time) that’s very clearly coming from a place of knowing the real dean vs. the façade he puts up because that’s the whole joke. and it’s allowed to be a joke because they’re siblings and that’s what siblings do lol. esp since sam and dean have touchy feely moments at the end of like every episode.
examples of all of the above off the top of my head (there are more than these, but these are the ones I can think of):
2.02 (about John’s death)
Sam: “I mean this ‘strong silent’ thing of yours, it's crap. […] I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man.”
Dean: “You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to.”
Sam: “No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this. But you have to deal with it, man. Listen, I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're okay.”
2.03 (Sam to Dean, also about John’s death): “You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.”
Note that Dean essentially admits that Sam is right in these two instances in 2.04 bc I know yall have stupid shit to say about john too that has nothing to do with how anyone actually felt about him in canon
3.07 (about Dean’s demon deal – also proven true in later episodes)
SAM: Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
DEAN: I'm not!
SAM: You're lying. And you may as well drop it 'cause I can see right through you.
DEAN: You got no idea what you're talking about.
SAM: Yeah, I do. You're scared, Dean. You're scared because your year is running out, and you're still going to Hell, and you're freaked.
DEAN: And how do you know that?
SAM: Because I know you! […] Yeah, I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And, I mean, I can't blame you. It's just […] I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. 'Cause... (can't find words; tears in his eyes) just 'cause.
5.18 [Sam figures out what Dean is doing re: his plan to let Michael possess him, tracks him down, and eventually is the catalyst for Dean ‘making the right call’, which he predicts] – e.g.:
SAM: No, you won’t. When push shoves, you’ll make the right call
DEAN: You know, if tables were turned…I’d let you rot in here. Hell, I have let you rot in here.
SAM: Yeah, well…I guess I’m not that smart.
DEAN: I—I don’t get it. Sam, why are you doing this?
SAM: Because… you’re still my big brother.
8.14 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18 + sam intrinsically understanding the trials are a death wish for dean): “I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. […] I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.”
10.22 (understanding how much dean has ~done for him~)
SAM: I'm saving my brother.
CASTIEL: You told Dean—
SAM: —I know what I told Dean. Cas, look. I've been the one out there, messed up and scared. And alone. And Dean—
CASTIEL: He did whatever he could to save you.
SAM: Yes. I mean, it's become his thing. I owe him this. I owe him everything.
10.23 (basically the o.g. version of whatever went on in 15.18, x2 – from Sam to Dean): “You were also willing to summon death to make sure you could never do any more harm. You summoned me because you knew I would do anything to protect you. That's not evil, Dean. That's not an evil man. That is a good man crying to be heard, searching for... some other way. […] You will never, ever hear me say that you -- the real you -- is anything but good.”
11.13 (Sam understanding exactly how Dean feels about Amara being his ‘deepest desire’, and confirming that it doesn’t make him a bad person)
Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m…
Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil?
Dean: For starters, yeah.
Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not.
Dean: You know that I want her ass dead.
Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it?
13.02 (Sam perfectly explaining Dean’s psyche to Jack)
JACK: Is that why Dean hates me?
SAM: Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear.
JACK: Why would he be afraid?
SAM: Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you.
14.03 [Sam assesses Dean’s psychological/emotional response to the Michael possession; end of episode, Dean confirms that Sam’s assessment was fully accurate]
14.10 [Sam is the only one able to snap Dean out of his weird Michael mind loop by using their code word]
14.11 [Sam figuring out that something is troubling Dean just based on the fact that Dean hugs him]
15.17 (self explanatory at this point)
DEAN: Chuck has to die. He has to! Otherwise he'll keep us tap dancing forever, and I can't live like that, man! I can't live like that! I won't!
SAM: I know you feel like that right now, okay. I know you do. But you gotta trust me. My entire life, you've protected me— from Dad, from Lucifer, from everything. I didn't always like it, you know, but... it's the one thing in the whole world that I could always count on. It's the only thing I've ever known that was true. So please... put the gun away. Just put it away, and we'll figure it out, Dean, we'll find another way, you and me. We always do.
like maybe there are some cas moments w dean along these lines too. i don't know, i don't remember what the guy says or does anymore it's been too many years and he is not memorable. but the point is where and in what capacity and based on what metric other than the amount of bad fanfic you've read does cas exceed sam in these respects.
so basically just. genuinely, what are you people literally ever talking about. go watch the show instead of saying stupid wrong stuff about sam on the hellsites all day. or watch another show (please for the love of god watch any other show this one is absolutely lost on you and it’s such a stupid one too i'm embarrassed for you)
#sorry i wasnt gonna be able to sleep otherwise my blood pressure got too high#sam winchester meta#sam winchester#anti destiel#sam and dean#whatever else my tags are#haven't done this in a minute#i'm sorry for being a cunty sam stan (tm) in this but have you considered we'd be nicer if you ppl were less dumb#this is not proofread it's not real meta
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even when i'm not with you — blade
cw: gn!reader. hurt/some comfort(?). heavily implied depressive episode (reader). i am 100% projecting, idc. reader has hair long enough to play with. unedited. probably ooc blade.
note: i wasn't gonna post this, but i think we can all use the reminder that its okay to not be okay. aka i feel as if im bearing my soul rn LMAO.
BLADE is not a man of many words. he didn't enjoy meaningless small talk or even elaborate conversation. he simply preferred silence, unless you were the one doing the talking. and just as much, he hated it when you were silent. when you weren't going on about your newest interest or current hobbies, he knew something was wrong.
it wasn't like you to not greet him when he got back to hq, to not smile at him when he'd kiss the top of your head in response. silver wolf had mentioned you didn't seem to be your usual self, but he didn't realize how bad it was until he walked into the room you both shared. at first he thought you were sleeping, possibly due to the assignment you and silver wolf had been assigned to with sam while he was on the xianzhou. but when he sat down and leaned in to kiss your cheek, he realized you were awake and that you were just... staring at the wall.
he was worried before, and now he was also filled with guilt. it was not new to him, as you had your bad days– just like he did. he just hated he wasn't around to help you before it progressed into this. blade frowned, kicking off his shoes before laying down beside you. he pulled you into him, tucking you into his chest and holding you tight.
your lower lip quivered at his embrace, your eyes closing upon feeling the burning of tears that were threatening to spill. and as soon as he whispered, "it's okay, i'm here now", you couldn't hold them back. they fell down your cheeks, leaving glistening trails along your skin before they dripped onto his shirt.
at least you weren't numb yet.
you tried to reign in your emotions, but unfortunately he could tell by the way you were breathing that you were crying. he shushed you, pressing his lips against your hair before he played with the ends, "it's okay, let it out. don't keep it in."
but you didn't want to. you were sick of this feeling, and you were sick of getting into your own head. you had no reason to be this sad, or to feel sorry for yourself. yet... that thought could not break the chains that were tied around your ankles– keeping you shackled and nearly drowning within the depths of your own mind. no matter how hard you tried to claw at them, to break them free, you couldn't and that left you feeling even more trapped than when this had first started.
and you didn't even know when it started– that nagging feeling of worthlessness that had spiraled into the mess you were now. you'd pushed it away for so long and now it was coming back to bite you. your sense of time was skewed, your memory was getting weak, and your judgment was beginning to cloud. if something was not right in front of you, it did not exist and that could lead to mishaps just like what happened on the last mission you had been tasked with.
you'd been benched– elio believing that it was what was best until you got better– and that was what sent you over the edge.
you felt like a failure, and that you always would be one. you thought that the others were disappointed in you, when they were only concerned for your well being. that sinking feeling of not being good enough quickly turned into your heart dropping to your belly, completely breaking what little hope you had left. you had let them down, you were so mad at yourself, and you felt so guilty.
alone, all these thoughts bubbled up with your bottled emotions until they finally boiled over and took the lid with it.
you didn't even know how long you'd been holed up in bed. sam was constantly checking in on you, making sure you were taking care of yourself despite how adamant you were that you were fine, that you didn't need a babysitter, and that you could take care of your fucking self. but you couldn't, and that was the reality of it. if not for sam, blade would've been getting you into the shower while he made you something to eat as soon as he got back.
blade. you tried to hide your face against his chest, muffling a choked sob and a jagged inhale. you didn't deserve what little love he had left to give. didn't deserve to be held like this, to hear him humming a soft tune or feel his finger tips lightly tracing over your skin– much like you did with him when the mara flared up if kafka wasn't around. he deserved so much more than someone who was so... broken. he shouldn't have to comfort you when he had it much worse, but he would argue that demons were demons regardless of how they presented themselves.
he deserved someone who could make him feel more whole.
"im sorry," you tried to apologize, finally finding your voice. you hated being so vulnerable, so weak. you couldn't but to feel pathetic, crying over nothing like a child.
you went to sit up, causing him to follow suit. he caught you by the chin, gently turning you towards him so he could wipe away your tears. he shook his head, "don't apologize."
"but–"
he rubbed his thumb along your cheek, even though there was nothing more to wipe away, "there's no need to apologize for this, ever. we all have our own battles, but this does not mean you're losing yours. i will always be here to help, even if i'm not in person. i won't let you go through this alone."
you closed your eyes, more tears escaping before you finally nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder. he squeezed you back just as tightly, murmuring in your ear, "always, sweetheart. in this life and the next."
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i’m sick as a dog rn (i think it’s just a cold but it’s got me DOWN) and was wondering if you could do headcanons of either the second or third years taking care of a sick reader 😭
Aww! Me too lovely! Self-indulgence coming right up! 🛎🍳
Taking Care of You When You're Sick 🤧(GN!Reader/Octavinelle: Azul, Floyd, Jade)
Rating: G
Tags: Reader’s body not described nor are pronouns used, fluff, reader has a cold, Floyd says something suggestive but nothing actually happens haha, implied pining.
Words: 2k
Author’s notes: I ended up writing a short story rather than headcanons, whoops? Snipped it to just the Octotrio due to the length, haha. I just came down with a cold too, (as if just having recovered from surgery wasn't enough lol) so we can both project onto some cute fish boys to drown our sorrows together. 😖
Want more TWST? Here’s my masterlist!
Azul Ashengrotto:
He has no idea what to do (affectionate). Azul will notice your absence from daily activities fairly quickly. He had the schedules memorized of the more ah... let's call them 'notable' students, and that includes you. Grim had been attending classes, but if anyone asked him where you were he would just say something about him 'not being your babysitter'. This was technically correct because you were in fact, Grim's babysitter, but it wasn't worth the breath one would waste arguing with him.
By overhearing the conversation between some of your socially impaired first-year groupies, it appeared you were sick. This bothered him greatly. Humans were much more susceptible to disease than mermen and pathetic as it was, he felt a tinge of charity pull at his heart upon hearing that you were ill. He supposed that he could visit.
Armed with a ‘how to take care of a sick human’ article on his phone, a reusable bag, and a full wallet, he raided Sam’s shop for all of the things that are supposed to make even the frailest of humans feel better. He debated calling in Jade and Floyd for their assistance in taking care of you, but he decided the snide comments of the twins weren’t worth the possible benefits. If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself after all. Armed with soup, tissues, multiple types of medicine, and hot and cold patches, Azul makes his way to Ramshackle.
He knocks, but no response. He supposed he should have guessed as much, it’s not like the ghosts would answer and Grim is doing whatever that fiery tanuki does on the daily.
“Prefect?” He called, pushing on the doorknob to find it unlocked. With a shrug he traipses inside, scanning around the lounge, the bathroom, and the kitchen. It was beaten to hell, but there was a charm to the small things you had littered around the place to make it feel like home. A tied rag potholder here, a stained apron there, he felt a small smile spread across his face. Cute. Terribly kitsch and with no sense of room appeal, but cute.
A floorboard creaked upstairs, and he figured that was where you might be. Azul headed up the stairs and softly called your name, hearing a loud ‘BWUH’ come behind a door that he assumed was yours. Knocking softly, he called out to you again.
“May I come in?” He asked, plastering on his proper salesman face. You so owed him for this display of goodwill.
“A-Azul? Uh, yeah.” You called, voice audibly hoarse and nasally.
Azul swept into your room and set down his bag of goods, sweeping over your room curiously for information. It was the cleanest room in the whole house, but that was like saying that you got second place out of three entries. There were your books and schoolwork, some knickknacks and souvenirs that your friends had undoubtedly given you, but it was otherwise quite bare. As to be expected, he supposed. After a moment of silence, his eyes finally fell on you. Your eyes were red and glassy, your lips chapped, and you were covered in goosebumps. He felt his heart skip a beat.
Wait, what…?
Azul slapped his hand to his chest instinctually, surprised at the sudden feeling that was washing over him. On the other hand, you looked at him with ever-increasing skepticism.
“How can I help you Azul?” You rasp, eyes flicking between his face and the bag that he had dropped on your floor. Azul looked a little flushed. Was it hot in here? Your fever was making it difficult to tell.
“I just ah…” Azul began, his pulse fluttering as he looked for a good explanation. “I just wanted to…”
Your brow was raised amusedly. How often did anyone get to see Azul of all people be at a loss for words?
“I just wanted to make sure that someone had thought to take care of you… since you’re alone here, and all.” He finished, the flush on his cheekbones darkening. He thought back to the times that his family had taken care of him when he was sick, and also the times that they hadn’t. The times that he was alone. And you, you were always that alone, weren’t you?
“Please allow me to help you… on the house.” He finished, eyes looking anywhere but at you.
“I see.” You say. You eye his bag, his expression, the way his hair was windswept in an uncharacteristic way, “Thank you, Azul.”
“You’re… very welcome.”
Floyd Leech:
He has no idea what to do (insult). Azul had returned from Ramshackle earlier that day in an uncharacteristically spacey mood, and he had a suspicion that it had something to do with you. Telling Jade that he was heading out, he walked to the decrepit building. Opening the door without knocking, he saw that one of Azul’s bags was on the table. Huh.
Rifling through the contents, he found supplies for human colds. Putting two and two together, his face curled into a smirk.
“Azul is making shrimp scampi, huh?” He giggled, cracking himself up with his joke. The soup was chicken noodle, but you had to work with the material you were given. Waltzing his way upstairs to your room, he slammed the door open, which woke you up with a start.
“W-what? Floyd?” You yelled, holding your blanket to your chest in surprise.
There was a slight sliver of skin exposed from the buttons of your pajama top had come loose. Floyd’s eyes flicked to your slipping collar and then back to your face, giggling while he strode forward, flopping to a seat next to you.
“Shrimpy, what is it about you, huh?” He asks, getting dangerously close to your face as his eyes scan for any microexpression that might give away your secret.
“You’re just so… different, aren’t you?” He asked, trailing a finger down the line between your ribs. You frowned and slapped his hand away.
“Floyd, I’m too tired for your weird teasing, okay? Get away, I don’t want to get you sick too.” You chide, trying to push him to his feet and off of your bed with your germy self.
Floyd clicked his tongue, “Aww, don’t be like that. Idiots don’t get colds you know? I’ll be fine.” He said with a grin, the low light sparkling off of his pointed teeth.
You frowned. You highly doubted that but you also knew so little about mermen that he might be right? Ugh, why was everything so confusing?
“Aww, your face is so cute.” Floyd cooed, squishing your cheeks like dough. “Should I sleep here with you? Will that make you feel better?” He asked, getting uncomfortably close again.
“Flowyed, stut upf.” You whined, words muffled by Floyd’s vice grip on your face.
“Fish are cold-blooded, you know? I’d be like an ice pack for your feverish ‘Lil head.” He continued, seemingly convincing himself more than you about why this was such a good idea.
“If you’re really good, we can snuggle naked?”
“FLOYD!”
“Fine, fine, you’re no fun,” Floyd sighed, finally standing up and walking towards your hall. He looked over his shoulder at you as he was closing the door, a mischievous sparkle in his eye.
“I’ll come to sleep with you when you’re well instead. Later!” He cackled, slamming the door shut to shield himself from the pillow you had tried to lob directly at your face.
Feeling even warmer than you had a minute ago, you collapsed in a huff and yelled into your pillow in frustration.
This freaking eel was going to kill you.
Jade Leech:
Something was apparently in the air today, because both Azul and Floyd had gone to visit the Ramshackle Prefect. Jade had to admit that he was quite fond of them, their naïveté about the world they had found themself in was quite entertaining to watch, especially as it pertained to non-humans such as himself. One day they had taken multiple hours to quiz him about merpeople, their food, their culture, and even their anatomy. Jade had offered a “demonstration” on the anatomy portion, but they had sadly refused his kindness. A pity.
Both Azul and his brother had returned with significant mood changes. Azul had returned in a strangely introspective mood, staring dazedly out the windows with his brows knit in thought and then locking himself in his office for the last few hours, clearly wrapped up in some sort of project.
On the other hand, while Floyd was similarly distracted, he seemed quite frustrated. He was being fairly active on campus, running around in search of stimulation. Jade recognized this as being one of Floyd’s many coping mechanisms when he was actively trying to distract himself. How very interesting.
Walking up to Ramshackle, Jade was distracted by the thought of how the gloomy and decrepit building could be well utilized as a greenhouse for some tricky plants he had hoped to cultivate. He filed away that thought for later, perhaps the Prefect would be willing to trade him some growing space in one of the spare rooms at a later date. He would just need to think of something that they wanted enough to give it to him. Well, he was here anyway, might as well try and find out.
Entering the charming hovel of the entryway, Jade notices the Prefect’s shoes discarded next to the doorway. He certainly did not trust the floor enough to do the same.
Walking up the stairs, Jade decided that the best bet would be simply to beeline to the Prefect. He had brought his mushroom risotto along with him, thinking that you might appreciate a home-cooked meal when you were ill. The feedback he had received upon serving it in the cafeteria was quite positive from the other humans, so he was about 70% sure this particular species of fungi was not lethal to your species. Well, the ones from here at least. That is what the other 30% is for.
Rapping his knuckles lightly on the door, he heard a quiet ‘come in’ from inside the room. Jade turned the knob and let himself inside, holding up the thermos with risotto in one hand and one with peppermint tea in another.
“I apologize for the intrusion.”
“Jade?” You ask, “Wow, I think I’ve had more visitors from Octinavelle today than when you all tried to steal this place.” You graveled, weak cough shaking your body as you laugh.
Jade gives you a warm, genuine smile. His face crumples into a melodic laugh, a real one, and he covers his face to stifle the sound.
“Well, the location is still quite ideal if you ever change your mind.” He says, stepping forward to place the food he brought on your nightstand. “Food and drink, I get the feeling that you might not make some otherwise.”
You look wide-eyed at the two containers, carefully picking them up and unscrewing the caps to see the contents. Through your stuffed-up nose you could smell a hint of mint, and the risotto looked decadently buttery.
You looked to Jade, and he motioned to the attached cutlery. Taking a wary bite, your mouth was met with something both delicious, hearty, and oddly familiar. Had you had this before? Your heart skipped a beat at how tender this moment felt. Jade’s eyes looked lidded and fond while tears threatened to well up in the corners of your eyes.
“I-I really needed this, I think.” You say, your ‘D’s sounded like ‘B’s due to your stuffy nose. “Thank you very much, Jade.”
Jade nods, looking pleased. You continue eating your fill and then allow Jade to gather his dishes, promising that he will come again soon with another dish. You were fairly excited at the prospect.
Jade pauses for a moment at the door, seemingly in thought. He returns to your side, but before you can question him, you feel a warm peck at your forehead.
“Feel better.”
Jade leaves as fast as he came in. You sit there flustered and confused.
Is this just a merman thing or what?
Pray for me! I hate phlegm with my entire body, I want to die and to kill at the same time. Why hast mine own body forsaken me?
What did you think? suggestions, feedback? LMK!
Love you, reader!
Requested Tags:
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#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#azul x reader#azul twst#jade leech#jade x reader#twst jade x reader#twst jade leech#floyd leech#floyd x reader#twst floyd#twst fanfic#twst reader insert#reader insert#gender neutral reader#one shot#twst fluff#twst fic#twst headcanons#twst imagines
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I Never Really
Part Seven
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings: Mentions of sex, bit o' angst
Playlist | Masterlist
Going to class felt like an impossible task given your current state of mind. Your hands shook with anxiety as you got ready for the day, dreading having to look Sam in the eyes again. You figured you’d show up slightly late, sit in the back, and get out before he had the chance to see you. It was like you’d traveled back in time to when you first met, and you were trying to avoid him like the plague.
You couldn’t get yesterday out of your mind. The heat of his thighs against the sides of your face, and the way he'd looked at you, it was stuck at the forefront of your mind. For a brief moment, when you'd been pulling away, you could feel–
You slapped your hands onto the sides of your face, forcing the memory away. That was enough of that. You wouldn’t allow yourself to think about it any further. As it was, you already felt like your mind was unraveling with thoughts of him. You began the trek across campus, your eyes locked on your shoes while you walked, watching the dried leaves skitter across the pavement.
Class dragged by slowly, and you barely absorbed a single word out of the professor’s mouth. You’d successfully evaded Sam once again, sitting in the back of the hall. Though, it didn’t help much – your eyes lingered on him the entire class. You managed to escape the classroom before he could reach you, though for only a moment, your eyes locked. It was like lightning, his eyes piercing straight through you before you had the chance to look away.
The next day went much the same way, though you questioned how long you could keep this up for. The two of you had reached an impasse in your project, and you’d need to talk out the next part. The deadline was far off, but you were already more behind on it than you’d like to be. You couldn’t avoid him any longer. You watched him leave his seat, and you didn’t make any move to avoid him when he approached you this time.
“Hey,” he called, sounding like his usual self.
You waved, your lips moving around a hi, but no sound came out.
“Paper session later?” He asked.
You nodded, staring at his shirt collar, physically incapable of making eye contact with him. “Sure.”
“I’ll text you.”
And as quickly as he came, he was gone, leaving only the ghost of that incense smell he always carried with him.
Hours later, when you left your final class of the day, you felt thoroughly exhausted. You couldn’t handle going through another apology with him, the first one was nerve-wracking enough. As you made your way to the library, you prayed that he would simply let it go, pretend like it never happened. You saw him waiting outside, hands in the pockets of his coat, staring at the fading light in the sky.
“It’ll be a nice sunset today,” he announced when you approached.
The sky was already streaked with lines of orange and a dusting of pink on the horizon. “Yeah.” It was all you could manage to say.
To your relief, he didn’t bring up the incident that had occurred the other day. But it hung in the air between you two, a gigantic elephant in the room taking up every square inch of the silent library. It was in the way he looked at you when he moved his chair a bit closer to see your laptop screen better, in the way he recoiled when his fingers accidentally brushed your thigh, in the way he seemed to hold himself as far away from you as possible while still being so close. It was difficult, but manageable, to put yourself into working mode and ignore the tension.
“Hey, I wanted to ask you something,” he said softly, as you were wrapping up your work and draping your coat over your arm.
“Yeah?” You swallowed thickly. Here it comes, the conversation you’d been dreading.
“You can say no if you want, given how bad it went last time. But the guys are throwing a Halloween party next weekend. If you’re not thoroughly scared off, I’d love to take you. It’s always a blast.”
“Halloween?” It felt like a rug had been pulled out from beneath you. You’d steeled yourself for one of the most awkward conversations of your life, but you got invited to another party instead.
“Yeah, costumes mandatory and everything.”
“Oh, god. I don’t know.” Your head was spinning. You definitely didn’t have time for another one of your weekends to be occupied with a party.
“Pretty please?” He made a praying motion with his hands. “I’ll beg, if you want me to.”
“Didn’t you say I could say no if I wanted to?” You smiled at him, and he bowed his head.
“I know, but I really want to make the last party up to you. You’ll have the best time ever, I swear.”
“I don’t even have a costume.”
“We can go buy some together!” He looked rather excited at the prospect. “Maybe we can match.” He gave you a smile that made your stomach flip.
“I’m just not sure…”
“If you hate it, you can leave after 10 minutes. I won’t mind, and nobody will notice. Just give it one chance.”
Your desire to be close to him won out in the end, overriding your sense of duty to your degree. “Fine. I’ll go.”
He waved his hands excitedly, his face lighting up in a bright smile. “Really?”
You nodded.
“Yes! Okay, costume ideas?”
“I don’t know…I haven’t given Halloween any thought.”
“We could do like, angel and devil. Easy and cheap.”
“That sounds like a couple’s costume.” You felt far away as the word couple came out of your mouth.
“What’s wrong with that?”
Jesus. Him, and his entire family, were incapable of not flirting with you at all times. “Well…we’re not…” a suffocating awkwardness filled the air.
“It’ll be fun, and then you don’t have to give it any thought. You’ll blend right in with the crowd, too. I’m sure half the girls there will be angels.”
That was a good point. The slutty angel was a classic. “I’ll have to go by myself after class, but I’ll let you know what I pick up.”
The two of you headed back to your respective homes, making idle conversation along the way. He seemed much more upbeat now, and you wondered how long he had been waiting to ask you about this party. It was the last one you'd go to, you swore to yourself. And you were only going because it was such a major holiday.
Sam walked with a bounce in his step you hadn’t seen before, and you wondered if it was all because you’d told him yes. Seeing him this happy, you felt guilty for ever considering giving him a no. And for once, you were actually excited for a party. No more nerves, no more stress over new people, you were excited to spend more time with him. The awkward incident was a thing of the past, both of you clearly unwilling to talk about it. There was a deep relief that washed over you in waves. Nothing could bring you down from such a feeling.
* * *
Steam from your breath clouded your vision as you walked down the sidewalk. You’d nearly pulled an all-nighter finishing your final paper for a class, and needed to wind your brain down somehow. A walk was always your favorite, no matter the weather. Just you, alone with your thoughts, your footsteps, and the sound of wind. You never felt alone these days, though – you carried the thought of Sam with you everywhere you went like a backpack full of rocks.
It was like there had been a shift in your life the day you met him. The tilt of your world had been thrown off by a Sam-sized asteroid, and nothing could put it back to the way it was. For the first time in a long time, you had friends – people you could truly rely on. Things were stressful, too, of course. Juggling school and friendships was never something you’d been good at, and adding what felt like a crush into the mix was complicating, to say the least.
It’s not a crush, you insisted to yourself. I’m not in love with him. He’s just cute. You didn’t feel entirely convinced, but things were good enough for now. To simply bask in his pure starlight was more than enough for you. You didn’t need anything more than that.
Rounding a corner, you entered a section of campus where few would tread. There was nothing in this area besides an old, closed-down residence hall. The school had meant to tear it down ages ago, but the budget was just a bit too tight every year, and it had now become an integral part of the landscape of campus. Every so often it would be broken into by students with the intention to drink or smoke, but other than that, there was no reason for anyone to come around here. There was a car parked in the overgrown parking lot, not too far from where you’d be walking in just a minute.
This wasn’t entirely uncommon. You’d passed people sharing a joint in their car in that lot several times. Given how the windows were fogged up, though, you doubted they were smoking. Probably fucking. You slowed down, unsure if you should pass the car. It would be awkward for both parties if your suspicion was correct. But turning around now would ruin your brain-silencing routine. You flipped up the hood on your coat and kept walking.
The car looked familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. The color, the model, the dent on the left side of the back bumper, it was all ringing some bells in your head. Bells that screeched like alarm bells when you noticed, out of the corner of your eye, two silhouettes inside. One of them, a girl you didn’t recognize. The other, shoulders you knew well, a sharp side profile you could identify from a mile away, long hair you knew well.
That’s Sam’s fucking car. That’s Sam.
You broke into a jog. Your thoughts screamed louder than you could possibly comprehend, rage rising into your throat and sorrow springing tears to your eyes. You had no claim on him, no reason to be angry, no rationale behind the way you were now sprinting down the sidewalk, not even going the right way, just running. You ran across a grassy field, the dew on the blades of grass soaking into your shoes and turning your toes numb, but you couldn’t stop. Couldn’t slow down. You didn’t want to stop running until you collapsed.
Collapse, you did, falling onto your back in the middle of the field when your toe caught on a stump, your chest heaving with labored breaths sending plumes of steam into the air above you. The word you’d been avoiding echoed at a deafening volume in your mind. But you would not say it. You would not admit it. Not right now, not like this.
Tears rolled down the sides of your face, soaking into your hair. Every thought you’d wrestled down to the most inaccessible parts of your subconscious now rose to the surface. You liked him, everything about him. The way he would tilt his head back when he laughed, the way he stuck his hands in his pockets when he walked, the way his eyes were always half-lidded, the way he held a cigarette between his fingers. You didn’t just want him. You needed him, all of him, you needed him to be yours, all yours. But he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be, he isn't.
You pressed your fists against your eyes as your mind made you imagine who that girl was. Maybe a girlfriend he’d failed to mention. Someone important to him. More important than you, obviously. You’re just so important to me, he’d told you. Not that important, though. You picked yourself up, your mind a painful, disastrous mess, and limped your way back to your home that no longer felt like home.
* * *
You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t drag yourself out of bed when the nightmare broke and your eyes finally opened to daylight. The first thing to cross your mind was devastating. The bounce in his step he’d had the other day, after your work session in the library, it was likely not because of you. It was because of her, whoever she was. It was like your world had crashed down around you in the span of a few seconds. Though some part of you felt overjoyed that you were finally admitting it.
When you rolled out of bed at last, your entire body ached with the weight of heartbreak. It all felt so dramatic, and for a moment you tried to convince yourself you were only exaggerating. You didn’t care that much. You’d only known him for about a month now. But you’d fallen so hard, so fast. If you’d admitted it to yourself sooner, maybe you could be over it by now, you lamented. Instead you'd pushed emotion away, and look where that landed you. Skipping class for the first time, and laying in bed until noon.
Your stomach dropped when you checked your phone. A text from Sam an hour ago was your only notification.
didn’t see you today, hope you're good!
You read it, and shoved your phone back into your pocket. You were anything but good right now. As if he could read your mind, another text from him came through.
i'm going shopping for halloween costumes tonight wanna come with?
Absolutely not. You didn’t even want to go to the party anymore. You didn’t even know how you would manage to look him in the eyes during class, much less attend a party with matching costumes. As you wasted away your day in your dorm, the sadness turned to anger. He’d called you sunshine and moonlight, he even had a little nickname for you. He’d gotten furious at you when you’d dared to speak to his brothers at the party he took you to. And this whole time, there had been someone else.
You didn’t have a very strong base for your anger, yet it still consumed you. It was not betrayal, but it sure felt like it. The way he had been so radiant lately – it had nothing to do with you. The compliments and flirtatious gestures he’d so copiously handed out to you, it was all platonic, it always had been.
The argument you’d had over Jake resurfaced in your ruminations, pulling a new kind of anger to the forefront of your mind. Maybe Sam had wanted to lay claim to you first, his little piece of meat he could do whatever he wanted with, and toss aside when finished. You’d been too off-putting, too distant to make him think he had a chance. So he went and found the next best thing, something else warm and wet, something easier. It was the definition of bittersweet, and it caused an ache that made you clutch at your chest.
Alone, you headed to the shops to put together your outfit. Someone, somewhere was on your side, as you found the perfect pieces, all a perfect fit, all white. Plus, of course, a pair of angel wings and a halo. You put it on, looking yourself over in the mirror. Your eyes were still swollen from crying the night before, but you looked incredible. It gave you just the confidence boost you needed right now. The party couldn’t come soon enough.
* * *
You bit back the bitter taste of anger as you sat in your usual spot in class the next morning. He showed up, sitting next to you as always, and you gave him a choked smile.
“Missed you yesterday. Were you sick or something?” He asked, clearly oblivious to the fury in your eyes.
“Yeah, wasn’t feeling well. I’m fine now though.” Fine was far from the truth, as you glanced over at him. The remains of a bruise, put there by someone else's teeth, adorned the side of his neck, just below his jaw.
“Glad you’re okay. I got so worried when you didn’t text me back.” He looked at you with the most sickening puppy-dog eyes you’d ever seen. “I got my costume, by the way,” he smiled. “It’s literally just a cape and horns. I can’t be fucked to do more.”
“I got mine, too.”
“Sweet! Did you go the angel route?”
You nodded. “Looks pretty good, too.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
You couldn’t wait, either. The look on his face would be priceless. The professor began her lecture, and you tried your best to pay attention. Though it was hard, as usual, with his presence radiating an aura ten feet in every direction. He truly could not be ignored, no matter how angry you were, no matter how hard you tried.
The remainder of the week was much of the same, though your emotions swung in a perpetual pendulum between depression and rage. One half of you wanted to throw the costume in the trash and forget Sam ever existed. The other half wanted him to see what a terrible mistake he’d made by overlooking you. It all added up to a constant discomfort, an anxiety you couldn’t shake.
It reached its peak as the sun rose and set on Saturday. You felt outside of your body as you prepared for the long night ahead, amping yourself up for what felt like it had the potential to be the worst night of your life. You had a pep talk with yourself in the mirror when your costume was on, forcing yourself to remember that you were the catch of a lifetime that he had let slip.
Your phone buzzed on the counter.
ready? from Sam.
coming down now you replied.
You met in the common area, your eyes settling on him before he saw you. He wasn’t lying when he said he couldn’t be fucked to do anything elaborate. A plain black sweatshirt and black jeans hung off his limber frame, adorned with a floor-length red cape tied around his neck and a pair of red devil horns clipped into his hair.
“You look scary.” Your words cut through the silence of the room.
He spun around to face you, his gaze raking over your body several times in quick succession. His eyes widened a bit, his lips parted but no sound came out. He drew in a sharp breath, looking you over once more before he could finally settle on your eyes. “You look– you look nice,” he said in a cracked voice.
“Thank you,” you replied, your tone dripping with venom. You gave a quick twirl, the sides of your skirt flaring up just enough to show the tops of the thigh-high socks you were wearing.
He gave you a pained look that you recognized. It was the same way he’d looked at you when you’d woken up with your head in his lap.
“Let's go.” He turned away from you quickly, like he couldn’t bear to stare at you for a moment longer. You had to fight back a smirk at that.
Down in the parking garage, you could feel that cold rage rising in your throat once again as you stared at the back of his car. The same dent, the same license plate, the same color. A part of you had hoped you had mistaken a similar car for Sam’s, but all the pieces lined up. You hesitated outside the passenger door, thoughts swimming with how you now had to get into the car he’d been fucking some other girl in.
“It’s unlocked,” he commented, noticing your hesitation.
“Oh.” You slid into the seat, keeping your hands firmly in your lap.
“Are you alright?” He asked, glancing at you as he drove. “You’ve seemed a little…off this week.”
You shrugged. “Just been feeling kind of down. Probably because the days are getting so short, now.”
“I get that,” he sighed. “It’s hard to exist under fluorescents all the time. We need so much more sunshine than we get.”
You hummed in agreement, watching the streetlights speed by.
“You shouldn’t have a problem with that, though, miss sunshine.” He looked at you out of the corner of his eye. “Just stand in front of a mirror for fifteen minutes a day and you’ll be set.”
“Right. Aren’t I half moonlight, though? I’d have to stand there for thirty minutes, according to your math.”
“I mean, just a few seconds around you seems to brighten my day plenty. I don’t think you need much exposure.”
His words were always so sickeningly sweet. It was ridiculous to think what he was doing here was anything but flirting with you. Yet you weren't the one he wanted, evidently, and that was unbearably painful. You had to wonder why he bothered – maybe he kept you along for the ride in case this other fling didn’t work out. And you were simply letting him drag you, like a dog on a leash.
Things were already in full swing by the time you pulled up, and a large group of people were entering the front door as you passed it. It was now, officially, too late to cancel. He parked his car in the driveway, next to Jake’s, and you headed in together.
tags: @dont-go-home-without-me @poochiesworld @stardustcatcher @83rkblogs @jaketsguitar @jazzyfigz
#guys. next chapter has fucking#we're so close i can smell it#sorry for this one btw#greta van fic#greta van fleet fic#greta van fleet fanfiction#gvf fanfiction#gvf fic#sam kiszka fanfiction#sam kiszka fic#sam kiszka x reader#sam kiszka x y/n#i never really
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Ever notice that, when some people bring up how the Miguel-Robby rivalry started, they start with Robby seeing Johnny give Miguel the gi and hug. Can we just recap what Robby did to Miguel after that? NOTHING!!! Someone having any sort of negative feelings towards someone else doesn't start a rivalry. Acting on those feelings do. Between the two of them, Miguel is the one who acted on his negative feelings towards Robby and attacked Robby more than once first. People bring up the gi and hug scene because they want to put some of the blame on Robby, but this is a rivalry that Miguel started, not Robby. And of course there's how people bring up Robby simply hanging out with Sam. Miguel became a jealous delusional paranoid asshole simply because his girlfriend was talking to some guy. Miguel seriously has problems. Not to mention, Miguel didn't respect Sam's boundaries either, about not wanting him to meet her family yet.
People also immediately bring up that Robby kept fighting at the end of the school fight because of his jealousy about Johnny and Sam. Yes, Miguel did taunt Robby about them, but you know what Miguel also did? He freaking attacked Robby like a crazy person while Robby was trying to protect Sam! Miguel tackled him and then started swinging at him while he was trying to get away. Miguel was even choking him at one point, and Miguel later tripped Robby, restarting their fight. People literally overlook Miguel's crazy violence against Robby. Of course, Robby would be angry and wouldn't trust Miguel when Miguel randomly stopped and apologized, and that was only after he'd pinned Robby down and was going to break his arm for no reason at all! Wtf was wrong with Miguel? His behavior was unrealistic and insane and people defend him, while Robby's behavior was more realistic because he was literally being attacked and taunted moments before, but people self-righteously act like Miguel had done nothing at all to physically hurt and be a threat to Robby. People make shit up and ignore Robby's side of the story so that they can keep acting like Robby fighting back was simply jealousy and like Miguel was blameless. In fact, Miguel was the one who acted on his irrational anger and jealousy the whole time. His pointed taunts even prove that.
And Miguel seriously gets zero credit for supposedly being "cool" with Robby after the apartment fight. Miguel took his pound of flesh, as if he were entitled to it. He thinks that he's honorable and merciful because he didn't "finish it", but being honorable and merciful would have been him not going along with the fight in the first place. Miguel did exactly what he did in the school fight. He chose to fight, he struck first, and he struck hard. He only showed mercy after he'd gotten the upper hand and "won". Miguel literally hasn't grown, despite everything that has happened.
Miguel didn't "win" in s5. Miguel's the real loser in the story because narratively he's not as important as Robby, doesn't grow, has one of the worst characterizations, and is a plot device in the other characters' stories. People make shit up and project stuff onto the story, especially to defend and prop up Miguel. They purposely pick and choose what they want from the story to hype up Miguel and tear Robby down. They can't stand that Robby has always been the superior, more important character.
(These are general thoughts and not directed at anyone in particular.)
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Cu-wip-osity tag game >:D
@cash-n-prizes really told me to get my ass in gear and WELL, here I am so here we go!
rules: reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. let others ask questions about the ones that interest them, and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!
Tagging: there are too many people to tag and i don’t talk to that many people sooooo whoever wants can tag in. Trust me, I cannot tag that many people for this.
And Then there were three - SH, Angel & Baaabe
Roses n’ Thorns - Darlin/Quinn (past) - Darren(Darlin) used to be in a band with Quinn called Rose n’ Thorns. Yes, I did in fact write Darr being in a band with Quinn into his actual backstory, fuck timelines and canon, I do what I want.
Spell slot - Lovely(electro)/Vincent
Gotcha bitch! - Darlin/pack - poly Shaw pack - Darren (Darlin) has a breakdown when the pack throws him a surprise birthday party
In the face of eternity - Lovely(Vampire)
Who’s ya daddy? - SH/Milo (ft. Colm) - Sadhil (SH) realizes that he and Milo have daddy issues, except SH used to work for Milo’s daddy.
Pretty Girl(gn) Walk - Angel/Darlin/David(minor)
Self-portrait - Gavin/FL - Gavin has too many hobbies but this new one is fun.
Stellar Collapse - Starlight
Fed to the Wolves - David/Darlin
The importance of Couch sharing - Poly Shaw Pack - David/Darlin/Asher/Milo
Backup Generator - DAMN Polycule & Lovely(Vampire)/Vincent
Extra Lessons - Sam/FL/Darlin
Come Back to Haunt - David & SH
Do you have an appointment? - Sam/FL - R18
Hate to see em leave, Love to watch em go - Poly Shaw pack - Asher/Milo/David/Darlin - Asher and Milo talk about David & Darren (Darlin) behind their backs but they’re specifically talking about their behinds - R18
Sweet Dreams (are made of this) - Sunshine/Elliott
Dahlia Empowered Records & Profiles Department - audio project - Magnus Archives parody but make it Redacted
Honestly…no - David/Darlin
A Pack of Idiots - Poly Shaw Pack:
"I'm in love with Asher." David said.
The room went quiet after that as Sadhil and Milo's eyes locked onto their alpha in disbelief–more specifically disbelief in the fact that David actually said the very thing that everyone in the pack would joke about when they saw him and his beta together in any capacity. The key word there being 'joked' because no one actually expected it to be true. Sadhil had the mind to question the statement further but got beat to the opportunity to speak.
"Well no shit, Sherlock." Darren replied. "Took you that long to figure out?"
Now eyes were going back and forth between Tank and David, the bigger wolf looking at the usually quiet shifter in bewilderment as they met his gaze with nonchalance. The investigator could already feel the tensions rising and if they knew both of their fellow pack members well enough then there'd be more to this.
"What do you mean, long enough?"
"–Darr means," Milo is the one to speak up this time, cutting off Tank from making anymore frank remarks and riling the other man up, "that we can all tell."
"What?”
Running Memories - Darlin focused
Can You Roll a Charisma Check? - Lasko/Listener (pre-canon listener) - Lasko finds out that someone new has joined his DnD group and he’s definitely gonna have to roll high if he wants to impress them
Out for Blood - Sam/Darlin - R18
What if we all dated each other? - DAMN Polycule
In-Spectre - Yes I know that’s name of an anime, I’m being funny - SH/Milo:
"Why don't I take you dancin' some time?"
"You got two feet shorter than myself there, toots. You think you can keep up?" Sadhil smirks.
Bad Dog - (Dom) Darlin/ Sam - R18:
"Course not." The vampire huffs. "I know you better than that Darlin."
"Do you really, doc?" Darren smiles as crosses his arms and slowly strides over to Sam from across the bar with a sly grin. "Because I know for a fact that there's a side to me you haven't met yet and he wants to make you beg like a hungry mutt."
Sam Collins has never in his life wanted anything more than just to let his mate have their way with him right now. He doesn't have time to question why when the one thing racing in his mind is to let Darren use and abuse him like a bone for his wolf to chew on, and he'll be damned if he doesn't let tonight be the night for that to happen.
"Where?"
"As much as I would like to fuck you in one of the stalls here, I want your ass on a bed where I can have it to myself tonight."
Broke Back Mountain - Sam/Huxley
Ghostly Touches - Lasko/SH/Milo - R18
Don’t Hold Your Breath - DAMN Polycule
Two Birds - David/Darlin
Worth of Chance - SH & Colm
Sway - Vincent/Lovely
Heart Strings - Asher/Baaabe/Darlin
Keeping Track of Things 1 & 2 - Darlin/Sam (feat. BE & Fred)
Reset Button - Lovely(Vampire) & Sam
Ghosted - SH/Sam/Darlin
Parks & Recreation - Darlin/David
Anyways, have fun~
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted fandom#ask meme#ask#ask game#inbox#redacted fanfic#redacted fanfiction#redacted asmr fanfic#redacted audio fanfic#writing wip#wips
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Hi could I possibly request a Richie kirsch X reader where the reader finds out he's ghostface and doesn't know how to feel about it at first but ends up warming up to the idea and actually ends up finding it kinda sexy.
It can be your choice if you want to make it nsfw or not 😄
I could talk him out of it, you once thought while sorting through all of his self tapes and short films.
I could call my friend that lives in Studio City and see if she knows of any early news on internships or…
Selfishly, you thought about it and never did it. Calling her would mean a chance of that internship not being a long shot, would mean Richie moving far away from here and from you. You don’t touch your phone at all while you re-organize his footage.
I could call his dad, you also think, while downloading all of the completed scenes onto a usb stick. You’d had his dad’s number practically on speed dial since that incident at your twenty first birthday. The infamous night when your roommate had dragged you out to the first and only club you’d been to in your life, when Richie held your drink while you waited in the bathroom line, when he drank your drink assuming he could just by you another. Your drink, that someone along the way had roofied.
His dad could help me stop this, you think, but again you don’t pick up your phone until you’re in your car to go to work picking out a spotify playlist for the ride.
A pit grows in your stomach and doesn’t stop until the car reaches Woodsboro. You breathe deeply, eyes screwed shut and trying to pretend this isn’t happening.
“Hey,” Sam calls, reaching into the backseat to grab your knee, “We’ll be back in Modesto in no time.”
If only she knew.
You smile, hoping the nervousness doesn’t show in your eyes as you look to Richie. Handsome Richie, whose hard drives you have all backed up in your bag and ready to go in case anything… you try not to think about it. You think only of your handsome friend who’s been here for you through it all and you’ll be here for him through this.
“Do you remember that one we shot for a film project? The one where I had you finish off Ghostface with a home made spear? And then you suggested it should be the pool cue your character was using earlier in the footage?” Richie’s voice makes you jump in the hallway of the hospital. It’s late night and the lights are dim. It’s eerie, like Richie’s plan didn’t need to be a thing to make this a horror movie.
“Yeah? What about it?” you scrunch your nose at him, genuinely unsure of why he’s bringing this up now. That was your favorite of the short films you'd made with him. He was the director as well as Ghostface, of course. You were the final girl. It was a little obvious, not your best work. Ghostface was the Final girl's boyfriend and she had to kill him but it was a memory held near and dear to your heart. It was when everything clicked and fell into place with Richie. Now that everything is real, now that you’re here, the apprehension you felt has started to dissolve. A mist around you and Richie disperses. You’re looking at him through fresh eyes even though he’s been your best friend since middle school theater. Richie has only looked more and more stressed, more tense here.
“Thats when I knew about you. That’s how I knew you’d be the new final girl of my new franchise.”
He leaves it at that, and shortly after, there’s a few more dead bodies in the hospital.
It’s you that swipes Tara’s inhaler. It’s a brilliant idea, one that even Richie overlooked. He said he needed a reason to get them back to Amber’s house, and you made it happen. He thanked you and hugged you tighter than a friend should, but what blooms in you is not the butterflies and roses you expected, but bitter jade jealousy. You’ve wanted to be like this for so long; You actively daydream of having Richie wrap his arms around you just like this but you can't stop yourself from wanting to tear his head off because of the fact that Amber, his co-conspirator, will not stop looking at him. Anytime she looks at you she looks with the same disdain as she does for Sam. As if you're one and the same.
She has no idea you're helping her by helping Richie.
"It's you and me," Richie says, his injured arm being the one to wrap around you, "Its only us getting out of here. You're my muse."
Amber and all of her glares has no idea that he's planning on double crossing her for you. A certain pride swells in your chest at that. Nothings changed from before you came. Maybe an internship and a move can be in the cards for you...
"You and me," you echo, nodding and leaning into his embrace, "And you're my director."
You're holding your side as you talk to the police in the ambulance, but you can barely focus on anything past keeping your story straight. Not when Richie lies ten feet away in a stretcher, throat torn open and staring only at you. Your eyes meet and everything clicks into place. The way you found it sexy when he chased you up the stairs with a knife in his hand, the way he jeered at Sam for thinking that she was safe with him, the way he so easily pinned everything on the dead. Sam might have gotten a stab on you, but you had gotten the upper hand.
Hell, he might even be staring at Sam's blood matted into your hair.
But then your eyes meet and it's like they make it feel in the movies. It feels like in When Harry met Sally when they realize they were meant to be, that all these years of friendship melted into more.
"She twisted the knife, officer," not a lie, until you open your mouth again "She called me a fool for walking into a horror movie."
But with Ritchie's weak attempt at a smile being thrown in your direction, its more like you walked into a rom-com.
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Sam Winchester Appreciation Week 2023 | Day 6 | Fav' moment with another character: Sam and Mary
All the things we should've said (AO3)
“Donatello's in this because of me. A police officer is dead because of me. I'm the one who let Nick go, I'm the one who…” Sam looks heavenward in anger and grief. “What was I thinking?”
Mary looks at Sam, really looks at him in a way she hasn’t since she came back.
She’d kept a distance between Sam and herself for a long time, and it was more than just the fact that she had only known him as a baby, that she was gone before he had even developed the idea of permanence. And it was more than the guilt she’s carried around with her for dooming him to years, decades, of suffering because of her deal to save John. Ever since she’d returned, Sam has treated her like the perfect mother he imagined her to be, something that she knows she couldn’t live up to, and she just couldn’t face his disappointment.
Except… she was wrong. It’s not that Sam has been projecting his ideal vision of a mother onto her. This is just how he actually sees her, as the best version of herself, even knowing all of her flaws and despite everything that’s happened to him because of her rash decisions. Because that’s how Sam sees everyone.
She wishes Sam could see himself that way, too. Even with how much time they’ve been apart for the past couple of years, with the hunting and the time she was stuck in Apocalypse World, Mary hasn’t missed the anger and the criticism hurled at Sam, people he loves lashing out at him when they’re under stress and there’s no one else to blame. She knows how she’d react if it was her on the receiving end: she’d chew them a new one. Several new ones. Maybe deck them for good measure. Dean gets that from her. But that’s not Sam; he takes on their pain, never reflecting it back, never projecting his own onto anyone else, just absorbing it all like a sponge. And when he becomes saturated, it comes out like this, turning that pain inward into self-loathing. It kills her when he does this to himself.
What Sam never gets to see is the whispered respect, awe even, amongst other hunters he’s lead. The amazement on Dean’s face when Sam makes that mental connection that everyone else missed. How Jack looks up to him. Mary’s own admiration for his uncanny ability to make everyone around him want to be better. Yet he’s focused entirely on building everyone else up while tearing himself down. It’s about damn time someone tells Sam what he needs to hear, build him up for a change, and maybe Mary has been far from an ideal mother, but this is something she can do for him.
“You gave him a chance because you felt for him… because you're a good man.”
Sam looks away in disbelief, down in self-deprecation. Mary wants so badly to get through to him, make him see that this is a strength, not a fault. She pulls out her secret weapon, the Mom Voice, the one that demands full attention and brooks no argument.
“You are.” Sam’s eyes lock onto hers and focus. “It's one of the reasons I'm so proud of you.”
The truth of it hits home, something in Sam releases its hold, and a corner of Sam’s mouth tweaks upwards in a ghost of a smile.
If Mary ever needed any reason or justification for being brought back, this would be more than enough.
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hi! um what're your thoughts on fcg not letting laudna hug them after their talk? bc he seemed fine with hugging imogen. and fcg seemed put off by laudna a lot compared to the others. i kind of have a feeling that fcg subconsciously views laudna as lower rung in the hierarchy of soul touched beings in their mind bc being a hollow one she technically doesn't have a soul. what do you think?
i only ask bc i've read your laudna/fcg meta you wrote previously and you touched on their views of personhood and being alive. and this may be just in my head but it feels like fcg is not only projecting about his own perception of being (and wanting to be) Alive onto laudna's troubles, but also it felt kind of like he had a harder time to empathise with laudna. and it might possibly be bc he's still learning but it also feels a little like he doesn't fully view laudna as a full on soul-touched person. their immediate nope when laudna tried to hug them felt indicative of something but i can't quite place what it was. saw some comments saying that that was sam not wanting to hug marisha but i feel like that wasn't it. it was an in character reaction as fcg instead of sam the player. anyway sorry for the ramblings but i really wanted to have the insight of someone with a clearer thought process. cheers mate!
(the meta in question)
I think this was sent before episode 26 aired, so my bad for that. That said:
I DO think the subconscious ranking is a thing. I'm almost certain about it. It makes sense with what we know of F.C.G's worldview and tracks with the comments they make.
That said, I do think this specific little "no." moment from last episode was maybe 60% Sam doing it for comedic effect to 30% F.C.G turning down Laudna personally. I think it does fit in well with how F.C.G seems to handle Laudna generally, but tonally I read it as more of a "cast members following the humor of the moment + Laudna is goopy + F.C.G is kind of hilariously abrupt at times" than F.C.G's more general deal with Laudna.
But: I definitely agree about F.C.G viewing Laudna differently and also projecting a bit onto her. Like. 10000% (And, as we found out this past ep, that goes both ways). I think an important distinction is that F.C.G doesn't seem to dislike Laudna, its more that he has less of a careful regard for her- much like himself. He's a little more willing to be rude, less careful about pleasantries and kindness. Which can be very jarring compared to how he talks to the other, properly soul touched folks! Its not even that F.C.G is super polite all the time, I think its more that you can tell how hard they try to be, and how much care they normally take. Which means the callous remarks towards Laudna, the casual way F.C.G insults himself and his self worth- all hit a little harder in comparison.
Anyway these two looking at each other and going "hmmm yes unalive companion" is something though, isn't it.
#im pretty confident in fcg having a little tier of humanness. it makes sense. perfect sense.#critical role#fcg#laudna#character meta#speculation#unalive buddies#to answer your initial question though; i absolutely agree with your overall assessment but i did think that was 50/50 joke and character#spar speaks#ask away!#my meta
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[ rambling ahead:
I've been playing BG3 and while I borrowed the name for my Tav from a previous D&D character I made, I was struggling with the idea of whether or not her name (Mirri) was her given name or if it was just a nickname that she preferred to go by. And some part of it would be backstory relevant--she's been disowned by her family, accused of abandoning her Elvish principles and culture to pursue wickedness (she's a warlock), and so, as an act of self-love and to divorce herself from the anguish of her past, she abandoned her given name, going only by the name she chose for herself, a nickname originally that fits her better than the longer, more "formal" name.
And this is a trope I've explored before. It's also something close to the chest. My full given name is Samantha, but I never, ever refer to myself that way. I'm Sam. I've always been Sam. I've occasionally been called a variation of that--Sammy--but, from the moment I learned how to talk, I always, always introduced myself as Sam.
There's nothing wrong with Samantha. I think it's a pretty name all on its own. But it's my "formal" name. It's the name my parents call me when they're angry. It's the name I have to put on legal documents. But it's not the name I sign. It's not the name I introduce myself as.
I've seen the quote that floats around sometimes that says "Give your daughters difficult names. Names that command the full use of the tongue." and I'm well aware that my name doesn't really fit that concept. But some part of me, the part that is Sam and not Samantha, wonders what these daughters might choose to call themselves. People change the names they were given by their parents for a thousand different reasons--they're trans or nb and their deadname is just that--dead. Their parents were abusive and they don't want to carry that. The name was, frankly, awful. The name just didn't fit. The new name they found fits them so much better.
I like the idea of Mirri having a name that isn't hers. A name that her mother gave her, one that was proud. One that was long.
A name that she gave back when her mother slammed the door in her face. But I like the idea that she named herself. That Mirri is the name she chose, the name she chose when the other one, the one that commanded the full use of her tongue, was just the one that belonged on a legal document.
Exploring the idea of the person you are when you are on your own for the first time is fascinating and yeah, I might be projecting onto this character, but what good are characters you can't stuff with your own insecurities and ideas? Therapy is expensive.
#; mun speaks#; tbd#[ personal ramblings bc i'm tearing my hair out over a character sheet LMAO#don't reblog it'll be awkward for us both#something something names have power#am I having an identity crisis?? yeah#been having one for a few years actually but it's............. w/e#therapy is. expensive. exploring yourself through a character in a video game is.#well it's not free but it IS cheaper#95% of this post is just 'hm. i don't like being Perceived actually. thanks!!' LMAO#me shaking the little character in the game: WHO AM I?? I'll find out by projecting heavily onto you hold still#luca has been rping as his bg3 character and i have the Itch but no. bad. cannot do that. not a good idea
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How do you feel about c!hannah and c!jack
that’s tough. i think that while i’d like them to become better friends, i don’t see that happening very soon because of c!hannah’s lack of sympathy towards c!jack’s situation at the start and jack’s trauma during their clash at the hotel confrontation with c!tommy (and c!tubbo).
first, it wasn’t right of jack to frame hannah. it was a rash, spur of the moment decision that he now regrets. but unlike tommy and wilbur who hurt him in a similar fashion, he’s already told her that it wasn’t right and that he regrets framing her, that he did it for stupid reasons and he understands her being upset with him.
the real problem lies not with that but with hannah’s response to jack’s situation, where it seems like she’s not listening to him at all even when he’s telling her outright why he did the things he did. she wants jack to understand tommy’s situation (genuinely thinking that he doesn’t, similar to c!niki) but because she comes from a place of ignorance to his and tommy’s past, it comes off as her being very arrogant of a situation she doesn’t understand.
she tries to tell him what he should’ve done instead, why his actions were extreme and unjustified, and how surely if he just took a different approach then tommy would listen, but only loosely hears when jack expresses that he has tried different methods, but none of them have worked.
and while hannah’s very upset at jack framing her (and justly that she could’ve lost her canon lives), her lack of sympathy/empathy towards him until the end of their interaction feels extremely hypocritical when she’s been driven to violence because of others actions towards her as well. when boomer caused her wings to be blown up, she blew up his house and swore that she’d fully kill him for revenge. and yet at this time she doesn’t seem able to view jack and what he’s lost (his life and friendship) in a similar light.
(however, she could be doing this out of her own trauma being ignored-- with c!sam’s and c!boomer’s reactions to her losing her wings being incredibly dismissive-- it’s likely she’s subconsciously just projecting these feelings onto jack.)
she does express some kindness (and sympathy) towards him at the end, saying that she was sorry and that another time they should hang out. but it’s clear that at that point jack feels bad enough having realized how wrong it was to frame her, so he most likely won’t take her up on that offer. jack’s been in a negative spiral for a while and so every blow only continues to sends him downwards, and especially right after such a disheartening conversation with her and tommy, he reverts back to self-isolation as it’s one of the only coping mechanisms he has.
(and while dubiously canon, hannah’s interactions with jack during the c!michael clifford lore show that she’s still upset at him but not closed off to being friends, but that jack is only spiraling further in his loneliness)
i do think that they could become better friends if they just had more time with each other, but right now with hannah involved with the egg again and jack feeling more closed off than ever, that’s causing an even larger gap between them and so i just don’t think it’s going to happen anytime soon. but i’d love to be proven wrong! i think they could bond over losing things important to them and could both use more friends who listen to them.
#jack manifold#hannahxxrose#dream smp#mcyt#if we're talking season two of the dsmp i would love for them to get closer through their relation to the egg that's my dream#do they have a duo name#uh#luxemburg duo#since that's the jail cell name they were both in#also i feel like this comes off like i don't like hannah but i really do- i understand she was just roped into this situation and so#she wasn't able to give jack what he needed (also heightened by her not understanding his past with tommy/tommy's actions)#but her not understanding the situation and acting like she knew what would fix it felt very hypocritical esp since shes done similar things#c!hannah crit#c!hannahxxrose crit#anon#questioned quartz#pebble post
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26, 31, 37 about Daniel
26. what would they do if stuck in an elevator with ___?
i think you were supposed to give me another character here, but since you didnt im making the executive decision to go with my other fave, John Sheppard. The answer to this question then depends on what theyre doing 😂 obviously they'd do a lot of talking because that's what daniel does best, but i think he'd be more than a little frustrated with John, lets be real. he's like Jack on steroids. hes reckless, self sacrificing, military oriented, etc. I do think that if/once he realized that john is so much smarter than he lets on he'd be really intrigued and want to have intellectual discussions with him
31. If they had a tumblr, what would it look like?
ooo i think it would be an archeology themed blog, interspersed with occasional out of context quotes from Jack. It wouldnt be super awful, but i think the theme/colors would be pretty simple and basic. imagine your professors website/blog but its actually been updated since 1998.
37. What they really think about themself
oh boy do we have enough time in the day for this?? 😅 Daniel needs... so much therapy. i think a lot changed between s1 and s10 daniel in regards to how he views himself. i think s1 daniel was still really traumatized and lonely and probably didn't think a whole lot of himself, and we see him kind of project this onto others as he always fights to protect the little guy, even when jack/sam/the military feels otherwise. does that makes sense? like i believe that a lot of daniels desire to protect and learn from the planets comes from the fact that he knows what its like to be the outcast or weirdo and he doesnt want to walk all over them like has happened to him. s10 daniel i think has a lot more internalized anger and grief and hatred. he's way more jaded by the end, and due to all the shit that happened to him + he did to others (esp while ascended) i fully believe that he has a lot more internalized self hatred. the hope and "naivety" of early seasons has been violently beat out of him
thank you so much!! Here is the ask meme these are from
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I already mentioned it in this post but it’s very interesting to me how there are quite a few mentions in the Telltale games of both Sam and Max struggling with self-hate, regardless of the shitty execution of those ideas. And it’s also interesting how it’s expressed differently for both.
TRIGGER WARNING : mentions of depression, self-hate and suicidal thoughts
With Sam, it’s shown through him having some pretty heavy self-esteem issues, with the most obvious being his negative body image with Sam finding himself too fat.
Bit of a side note about that : I know it was said in the other post already but I’m really not a big fan of how they treated Sam being overweight. Pretty much every joke about it is about a character calling him fat/insulting his weight, and the fact that Sam struggles with his appearance only makes it worse by making those moments very mean-spirited.
And it’s even worse when you compare it to the cartoon. In it, it’s very obvious that Sam likes food but nobody points it out or mocks him for it. It’s just small moments like him stealing everything on the table in “Max Big’s Day”, the pasta joke in the Gator episode, him accepting a whole trail of food in the first episode etc. They managed to make Sam liking food a part of his personality without drawing attention to it in a negative light, which is pretty sweet. And while I would’ve loved for cartoon Sam to have the insecurities Telltale Sam has, I’m completely fine with him not having them if it means seeing a character liking food without it being the butt of the joke.
The worst thing about those jokes though has to be the fact that Sam isn’t even that fat. Yes he’s a bit overweight but, given he’s middle-aged, he’s “dad-shaped” more than anything else honestly. It’s completely normal for a man his age to look like that, and a lot of his weight are probably muscles anyways. If anything, instead of being so mocking, the other characters should focus more on the worrying amount of junk food he and Max eat and the long-term repercussions it can have on their health. Hell, we already know from “Poker Night 2” that Sam reached a stage where he’ll die if he doesn’t eat sugary food…
Ultimately, I’d say the only “fat jokes” that make me laugh in Telltale are the one with Sam holding his younger self at gunpoint and the one when the Superego insults him. And for the Superego one, that’s because 1. It comes out of fucking nowhere, 2. I love Sam’s reaction, especially his little insulted shoulders shrug, 3. The ego immediately apologizes afterwards. Idk, there’s just something comedic about this moment.
Btw I’m also fine with Sybil pointing out Sam’s weight in 305, since Sam is the one being an asshole by projecting his insecurities onto Sybil being “fat” due to her pregnancy, so Sybil has every right to call him out.
But overall, the only saving grace regarding the fat jokes in the trilogy is the fact that, not only is Sam one of the main and titular characters (and the one playable character !) instead of a “comic relief side-character” cliché like most overweight characters are, but Sam is also the smart one of the two, again going against the “fat character” cliché. Plus, Max has a bit of a stomach as well but never talks bad about his appearance, although this doesn't change the fact that the fat jokes about Sam are of bad taste.
On top of his body issues, Sam seems generally insecure ? I mean, in 304, there’s that thought Sam can have about how much more powerful Max is now and how he might not need a partner anymore. The way he villainizes Hugh Bliss in S1 and how much it looks like jealousy due to Max’s crush on Bliss could also be rooted in insecurity.
And thinking about it, maybe this could be one of the reasons why he’s so protective of Max (aside from caring about him of course) ? This is probably a stretch but what if Sam protecting Max makes him feel “useful” in some way ? I mean, he is a dog, so maybe he sees it as his duty to be there for Max and might be afraid of Max not finding him “useful” anymore ? (again going with his thought from 304)
Hell, going even further on the weird theory, given how close Sam seems to be to his grandmother, and given how Ruth is a pretty badass person, what if Sam was trying to sort-of walk in her steps ? Or maybe she told him stories about Sameth that made Sam wish to prove himself ? (again, that’s a veery long stretch)
As for Max, first off, it’s pretty funny to me how he has no body issues at all compared to Sam. Max has mentioned a few times that he finds his own body hot, the best example being 201 with him talking about his future self. And honestly, I don’t think Max finds himself unappealing nor is he trying to “overcompensate” by acting this way. He does seem to genuinely find himself attractive. After all, we are talking about a guy who walks around naked and flirts quite a lot. He also has a superego so…
But on a psychological level, Max is hinted to struggle a lot more. First of all, you have his “lazy” side from 106 when he gets blissed out. This side of him clearly seems depressed more than anything else.
There’s also something I saw someone else mention : the fact that the trilogy mentions once or twice that Max takes pills, with Sam taking care of the prescriptions. We’re never told what those pills are for, so maybe it’s for his depression ?
I guess I could also talk about how in the cartoon Max shuts down whenever he’s not with Sam like in “Max’s Big Day” or during the breakup flashback in the finale, same for the vr game with 1-2 lines hinting at his internal struggles. But this post is more about the Telltale trilogy, tough those instances are worth mentioning.
Then, there’s the Superego, a major part of Max’s brain that literally hates him and wants to kill him. Since he’s part of Max, doesn’t that mean Max shares those thoughts as well ?
Another thing about him : I’m part of the people who don’t think he truly wanted to save Max in the end. Maybe he was surprised by Max’s wish to save Sybil and her kid, but I do believe that the ego still intended to get Max killed and only used Sybil as an excuse to pretend a change of heart. In my eyes, the reason why he talked about saving him was because he was aware of the Maimtron coming in 4 minutes and wanted Sam to be safe, and he knew Sam would never leave unless he was persuaded that Max would be fine.
After all, if the Superego is part of Max, wouldn’t that mean he cares about Sam at least to some degree ? Overall, he doesn’t really insult Sam outside of the “well you’re fat” comment (tho he is pretty condescending + obviously all his insults against Max pisses Sam off) and even waves goodbye to him when the trio leaves.
(Tbh, I like to headcanon that, since he’s part of Max, the Superego has feelings for Sam but hates it because, being a Superego, he doesn’t want to care about anyone but himself. So he’s salty that Max’s feelings are forcing him to care about someone he wouldn’t give a shit otherwise while at the same time being unable to “turn off” those feelings)
All this to say that the Superego is part of Max and the thoughts he has are thoughts Max most likely has as well. So him committing suicide was likely something Max desired as well. It’s kinda interesting actually how the Superego wanted to go in an explosion of glory. While obviously he’s an ego so of course he wants people to notice him, the way he wants to die does sound like something Max would want for himself (not me wishing the Superego had some mannerisms/animations that are either similar or reminiscent of Max’s).
I’d also like to mention the whole “Alternate Max saying that he blew alternate Sam up” from 305’s ending. First of all the way he says it with a smile hints that he’s hiding his true feelings about the situation, unless that’s just how he reacts to incredibly distressing events, kinda like how nervous laughter is a thing. But in any case, it shows distress from him.
But more than that, I want you to think real hard on the implications of a suicidal person, who jokingly said in the past “when I die, I’m taking you with me Sam !”, finding himself in a position where the one he loves more than anything else has to be killed. How much do you wanna bet that alternate Max only accepted to blow Sam up because he very much intended to jump on Sam and die with him, only for Sam to shove him away at the last minute ?
Side note : I really like how you can read 305 with the lenses of trying to prevent someone from committing suicide. I mean : The fact that Max turns into a self-destructive person that also ends up hurting those who get close to him. The fact that the major characters spent a week trying to find a way to get inside Max’s head. The fact they eventually give up and start considering putting Max out of his misery. Sam refusing to give up on Max and doing anything he can to save him because Max is worth everything to him. The fact that the only hope to save Max is to change the Superego’s mind, aka making Max realize that he’s worth living. The fact that the robot toy, which is the main item needed to help Max, is collected by having Sam bring Max to different places to make him remember things, and all those memories are making Max smile, so one of the main ways to save Max is to remind him of happy times…
I don’t know if anybody who’s a lot more knowledgeable on the topic of depression ever made an essay about this case, but if so, I would love to have it linked because this stuff is incredibly fascinating to me !
Something else I’d like to mention, though we’re heavily getting into headcanon territory here : if Max hates himself, what does he hate about himself exactly ? Because looking at how “wild” Max is, plus the fact that he and Sam were bullied as kids, I can’t help but wonder if maybe Max considers himself a “freak” and kinda hates his urges and impulses and how he can’t control them even if he tries. And yes this is based on the disdain the Superego has for those parts of Max.
Then there are other small things that can spruce his self-hate, like Max often getting himself into trouble or having memory issues, to name a few. Again, what if Max also struggled with those ?
Which leads to another situation : Max hiding how he feels deep down about himself. Heck, remember how in 205 Max mentions that he’s allergic to dogs but never talks about it and just goes on without complaining ? What if Max internalized his self-hate in general ?
Tbh thinking about it a bit more, Max also struggles in regard to his height, and I think that’s actually the only thing Max is openly insecure about ? I mean, given all the “f*scists” comments and other small moments of frustration (him taking growth supplements in S2 and being sad Sam didn’t notice, or getting mad at Grandpa Stinky in 301), he doesn’t really hide it.
Yet another side note : Mentioning Max’s memory issues got me thinking about how terrifying it must have been for his older self when older Sam started getting dementia, making him panic over which things Sam forgot that he also did, on top of forcing him to step up and be the responsible one.
And as another side note regarding Max being impulsive and having memory issues : can I just say how much I love how patient and accommodating Sam is about it ? I mean, we have several instances where we clearly see that he doesn’t mind having to repeat things for Max, like how he constantly reminds him he doesn’t like girls, the “I’m right here little buddy” from 104 that sounds more concerned than annoyed, or even the first dialogue with Grandpa Stinky in 301 with Sam giving exposition and, when called out on it, says he’s doing it for Max. It’s also pretty sweet when you consider how Sam loves going on and on about random stuff, so he probably doesn’t mind repeating things because it gives him an excuse to ramble.
Idk, I just find it very sweet how in general Sam absolutely ADORES Max just the way he is and doesn't mind having to help or accommodate him. And while he can get annoyed by a few things like Max’s violent tendencies, by the end of the day he wouldn’t want his bunny any other way. 💖 I also feel like this is the kind of positivity that Max needs, given how low he seems to think about himself…
Finally, something that is 100% headcanons but I still wanted to mention it : the fact that Telltale Max is explicitly gay and grew up in the 70s/80s. At least from my understanding of the characters, Sam and Max were born in the late-60s/early-70s, were teens in the late-70s/early-80s and are adults in the late-80s/early-90s when their adventures start.
This means that not only was Max bullied and excluded since he was a child due to being “weird” and “dangerous”, but it’s also likely that he started getting bullied as a teen for never showing interest in women. And don’t get me started on the can of worms we can open if we consider the real-life context of those times, more specifically the early 80s…
Speaking of bullying, my headcanon for the “Max forgetting he doesn’t like girls” joke is that, after being heavily bullied in high school, Max grew tired of this shit so he started pretending to like women, hence why every single time he talks about women it’s a sexual joke and is about several women instead of one, because he’s just trying to imitate what “chads” would say. And as an adult, he either keeps forgetting that he doesn’t have to pretend anymore, or making those jokes became a “reflex” of sorts since he started them as a form of self-defense.
This headcanon also works with what happened in 204 with Mama Bosco : basically, going to prom and pretending to flirt with girls made other boys react positively to Max, and Max realized that he enjoyed this feeling of belonging. So he grew up pretending to be a lady’s man, because as long as he showed interest in women in the most stereotypically heterosexual way, other boys his age would treat him more as a friend than a freak. Also in 205 the way he keeps mentioning how much he’s into Mama Bosco just sounds like he’s absolutely desperate to be viewed as straight, despite the fact that he flirts with Mr.Reaperphone (the karaoke machine) less than 5 minutes into the case.
All this to say that Max’s sexuality could also have led to a lot of self-hate at some point in his early life, although I feel like his relationship with Sam absolutely made those feelings much easier to deal with. The fact that he’s comfortable showing attraction to many men also could hint that he’s doing better on that front, even though the depression is still there, but for other reasons.
Annnd I have no idea how to conclude this aside from repeating what was said in the intro.
Yeah, this whole post is just some incoherent babbling about some half-developed thoughts. And given how old this franchise is, including the trilogy, for all I know this stuff was already debated about in the past and I’m just parroting stuff people already know. Still, I needed to get that out of my system so…
#Sam and Max#SamandMax#Max's Superego#Freelance Husbands#sam and max freelance police#Telltale games#Flor talks#long post#tw depression mention#depression mention tw#tw suicide mention#suicide mention tw#one of the few long posts where I'm not making a Tl;Dr#mostly because I have NO idea how to explain this in five sentences#so if you want a short version; click the link in the intro and scroll down on that post until you reach the trigger warning in bold text#it tackles the main idea of this post
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Introduction Post
Hi, my name is Jo, I use he/him pronouns and I am a binary gnc transmasc. I am the current only moderator of the rainbow-dash-sideblog tumblr blog, an archive of various art pieces relating to Rainbow Dash from the cartoon series My Little Pony(as well as her previous and future iterations) and Rainbow Dash-adjacent characters.
Feel free to send things about your RD headcanons, xenogenders, etc etc. As long as they are SFW.
FAQ (aka don't ask these questions please)
What is this blogs purpose?
The simple answer is, "To archive media surrounding a popular cartoon character that the moderator(s) enjoy." There are more personal reasons, of course, though at the end of the day, this is just a blog that reblogs and tags things. I, myself, consider it to be a 'project' in the sense that I wish to keep it up forever.
Why make a blog like this?
Because I was bored and I like Rainbow Dash. I also enjoy archive blogs such as @heritageposts and I've always dreamed of creating and moderating a blog similar to that. Though R-D-SB focuses more on recent artworks that are very likely to be forgotten and buried rather than old iconic posts of Tumblr's past.
You said you wanted to keep this blog up forever, what do you mean?
I mean that even if I decide to deactivate my main blog(@vampiricspectrumdisorder), I will manually transfer all of this blog's content over onto a separate tumblr account so it may never be lost(...for as long as Tumblr stays around, anyway). If I deactivate my main blog and transfer all of what I currently have over to a new tumblr account, I would not expect this blog to be maintained after that point. Though, who knows. Time will tell.
Will you ever open up moderator slots?
Most likely, though I will wait to do that until this blog has at least 100 followers. I want a large enough pool to pick from.
Who is your favorite MLP character?
...Despite what you may think, it's actually Celestia...
Do you have any other blogs like this?
(nobody would ever ask this, but I want to self promote LOL...)
I do have other sideblogs(@cyberneticcelestia, where I post my artwork, @moichinagae, a community resource for YASHA(1996), an obscure manga by Akimi Yoshia, which is still in development as i figure out what to post on it). My main blog, as said above, is @radspeon where i mostly reblog things and I don't have a set blog theme.
Under the Keep Reading, there will be a list of all the tags used on this account! Browse safely, kids.
rainbow dash sideblog originals - original posts that are not reblogs
rainbow dash sideblog reblogs - reblogged posts(most of the blogs content lol)
RDAU - posts about AU’s related to Rainbow Dash
feat [character] - posts featuring another character(like the other mane 6, the princesses, Jesse Pinkman, or Sam Winchester)
transmasc RD headcanon - posts about transmasc RD(there’s so many that it deserves it’s own tag)
xenogenders - Rainbow Dash/RD-adjacent xenogenders
rd physical media - kinda self explanatory, it’s physical items that are themed around Rainbow Dash, like toys and headphones and shirts
rainbow-dash-sideblog hall of fame - images/art of rainbow dash that I think are particularly noteworthy/outstanding(not that all RD art isn’t outstanding, but I’m talking about shit that is insane), also used for historical rainbow dash posts(if I find any)
g3 rainbow dash - self explanatory, I think. It’s for RD in g3, because I love her and she deserves more love.
king sombra timeline RD - ….it’s my blog I get to decide what fits in RDAU and what doesn’t/j (no but, I think that KSTRD is different enough from other RDAU’s that she deserves her own tag!)
RD STIMS - rainbow dash stimboards
equestria girls rd - art of RD that is either based on the EG series or is just of a humanized rainbow dash in general.
rdvids - videos featuring RD
rd gifs - gifs featuring RD
More to be added
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Though I agree that Robby going back to Johnny is a not a good choice for Robby, I don't agree that Daniel is a stable choice for Robby either. Daniel does blame Robby.
"You wanna end up like him. That's up to you." (the second time Daniel disowned Robby)
"I can't believe Robby would do that." (right after the school fight)
"I'm willing to admit when I fail, but maybe he has too much of you in him." (to Johnny after he'd seen Johnny almost kill someone)
"If all you care about is winning, then you didn't learn anything I taught you." (at the s4 avt)
What happened to listening to Robby's side of the story like Daniel had promised he would after Robby had fallen for Louie's prank? What happened to "no bad student, only bad teacher"? Daniel immediately thinks the worst of Robby because he's Johnny's son.
Daniel throws Robby out without hearing Robby out when Daniel is too pissed off or convinced that Robby intentionally did something screwed up. Daniel didn't even give Robby a proper conversation before calling the cops on him. Daniel ambushed Robby because of Johnny's actions earlier at the garage.
Yes, no doubt Daniel has been there for Robby in many ways. Daniel cares about Robby, but to an extent. Daniel doesn't care about Robby's side of the story when it truly matters or about supporting and fighting for Robby all the way.
Daniel didn't care that Robby had been attacked that day in school while he had been protecting Daniel's daughter. Robby had been the real victim that day in school, like Sam had been. Robby doesn't have anyone to fight for him all the way, and Daniel had disowned him, so Robby had run because he was a scared kid, but Robby wasn't planning on running anymore. He went to his mom on his own and was sitting calmly and eating a sandwich. Does that seem like someone who's planning on running again that he deserved to be ambushed like that? Daniel said that Robby's mistakes aren't who he is, so Daniel shouldn't have judged Robby by his mistake of running right after the school fight, especially because Robby came out of hiding on his own. There is also a really good reason for why Robby blames Daniel for sending him to juvie. Daniel could have built a really strong self-defense case for Robby, but Daniel immediately thought the worst of Robby because he's Johnny's son, assuming that Robby had purposely done something so horrible in the moment, and Daniel maintained that belief so he didn't fight for Robby as he should have.
At the end of s4, Daniel and Miyagi-Do had just lost to Cobra Kai, and Robby had a role in helping Cobra Kai win. Robby going to Daniel after the avt would have been a really bad choice for Robby too. Daniel wouldn't have cared about what Robby had to say or about Robby's struggles. Daniel would have cast Robby out without hearing Robby out, as is consistent with Daniel's behavior with Robby.
Daniel needs to find balance in his life, so that he doesn't act so rashly. Daniel also needs to stop putting passion in front of principle when it comes to projecting his issues with Johnny onto Robby and punishing Robby for it. That's not fair to Robby.
Although Daniel has done more for Robby than Johnny ever has, Daniel's support for Robby is still conditional. Daniel's words and actions added to Robby's abandonment and trust issues in damaging ways.
Sadly, Robby has no good, consistent, reliable, and stable adult figure that he can lean on.
#i just want someone to truly care about robby and really fight for him and always be on his side#cobra kai is robby's story#robby keene
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haiiii sorry for backreading but yes i have read bunny and i feel complicated things but yes the last twenty pages it just felt like such a cop out to me!!!! personally i think if youre going to write a self insert horror tearing apart the girls in your mfa program you really need to commit and instead she just lost her gusto
don’t apologise for back reading omg i’m so glad someone else read it and also had complicated feelings ��� i’ve literally spent the entire day trying to figure out what my issue with the ending is and i think part of what the problem ended up being for me was that i struggled a bit with it bc the entire book sam was riding the line btwn valid dislike of the bunnies for the way she’s been/felt excluded and projecting her own internalised misogyny onto the bunnies for being more feminine. sometimes she leaned a bit into the latter but hey you know she’s a heavily flawed narrator and i sympathised with her on a lot of points even if i didn’t like how she handled these emotions but at the end it felt like the book leaned into that too much to the point where rather than disliking the way sam was talking about the other women i disliked the way that the book was talking about them. for me i think the problem ended up being max. there’s the whole like meta criticism where the bunnies are condemned for making all of their stories about men at that last workshop and up until the last twenty pages or so i felt like the book was very self aware in how it was engaging in that critique/theme but in the end, sam was able to come out on top because she created a man who then physically and emotionally abused the group of women that she was in conflict with. i was trying to write out my thoughts immediatly after finishing it and said that i felt like in the end it is all abt a dude bc he matters and then jonah matters and ava and sam matter bc they’re not like other girls and the bunnies just don’t. and i think that’s still how i feel. like you said, id rather her have committed to just tearing apart her former classmates (?) because i can respect that you know but i disliked that that was thrown out and there was this whole self awareness of the way you could critique the story that was thrown out at the end. i think my ideal ending honestly would have been sam and the bunnies kill max together and then they go on hating one another and never speak again
but anyway other than the last twenty pages or so i loved it lmao it’s prob my fav book i’ve read so far this year
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