#see how easy it is to make them happy??
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A Happier Beginning- Season 4 (centered around El, Will, and Max)
Warnings: None I don’t think. Mike kinda sucks and some cussing but that’s it I think.
El grips onto her dress with her knuckles turning white. Will laughs a little, setting a calming hand on her shoulder. She grins over at him with the biggest grin she could muster. Will laughed even harder. They sat calmly, waiting for Max to enter the airport.
A week ago, Mike completely ditched the idea of going to California. Called and said he was just too busy. El was so angry at him that she just said “fine.” And hung up the phone. Max jumped at the chance to be on her home turf and see her friends. Now, here they sat. Waiting for a redhead to walk in.
Then, in a second, there she was. Her hair braided, jean shorts on, a bright rainbow top, and her signature red sneakers. In her hands were a simple duffle bag and her skateboard. She wore a pair of red sunglasses that disguised her bright blue eyes. She was swaggering as if she owned the airport herself. El jumped out of her seat and skin with a shriek. It was as if she had completely forgotten about Mike and the disappointment of him not coming. Because Max was here. That’s all that mattered in the moment.
“Max, Max, Max, Max, Max!” El began to run to where she stood in the crowd. When Max heard El’s call, she ripped off her sunglasses with a grin and ran, shoving people out of her way, to meet El. The duffle bag and skateboard fell to the floor in order to wrap El into her arms. The hug lasted longer than imaginable. Max and El swayed back-and-forth.
Max dropped down to her fallen duffle bag when they were finished with the hug. “Look, okay. I bought this for you. You can totally tell me if you hate it but.” She came back up with a shirt from Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love album plastered on it. “I love her music! This is just payback for you sending me that tape of her!”
“Oh, Max!” El took the shirt from her hands gingerly. “I love it, thank you!”
Will was on their heels in seconds. Max gasps in excitement and wraps her arms around him with the same excitement upon seeing El. El shut her eyes gently and just absorbed being in the presence of two of her favorite people. Her brother and the bestest friend a person could ever ask for. Will and Max broke apart with giddy snips of conversation.
“Don’t think I forgot about you, Mr. Will the Wise,” Max bends down to her duffle bag again. She stands back up with a velvet bag. “They’re 20-sided dice but they’re purple! I thought that they matched your outfit perfectly.
Will dumped the dice into his hand. “Max, are you kidding me?! These are amazing! Where did you find these?”
“Lucas is friends with this kid named Eddie Munson,” Max tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear. “They’re apart of that DnD club and-”
“DnD club…?” Will’s brows quirked downwards. “Wha-?”
“Did… Mike not tell you?” Max crossed her arms stiffly, a tinge of anger in her voice.
“They… started a Dnd club without… telling me?” Will’s voice broke a small bit, it was almost unnoticeable but El and Max picked up on it. They gave each other a worried look.
“Who cares?” Max huffs. “We’ll start our own DnD club. The wizard, the mage, and the zoomer. There is no better team than that.”
“Wizard?” Will cracks a hesitant smile. “Seriously? I’m the cleric, Max. Put some respect on my name.” Max grins. Jonathan and Argyle saunter up.
Jonathan gives Max a small hug, “hey, kid. No trouble at home, I hope? How’s your mom?”
“She’s doing okay…” Max shrugs a little. “We’re living in Forest Hills right now but we’re happy.”
“That’s good, I’m glad, Max,” Jonathan nods, patting her shoulder reassuringly. He understands about dead-beat dads and working mothers.
Argyle walks up and wraps Max up into an awkward hug. “What’s up, little red? Heard you’re from Cali yourself? I’m diggin’ the shades man.”
“Uh- thanks?” Max pulls away from Argyle and looks towards El for answers.
El just shrugs with a smile. “Come on, Max! Let’s get going.”
She loops her arm into Max’s. El begins to lead the way out. Will hooks his arm with El’s free one. They walk together through the airport, laughing when people give them odd looks. Jonathan had taken Max’s bag and Argyle was staring at the skateboard.
“We have the whole day planned!” El brings Max in closer to smile at her with glee. “First, Will’s idea, El Rodeo for burritos!”
“Max, they’re so good,” Will chimes in. “You’ll love them!”
“Of course it will be good,” Max scoffs with a big smile. “It has El’s name in it.” El giggles in a sort of high-pitched way. Will takes notice and sends a look towards her.
“Then, after eating, we’re going to go to Rink-O-Mania!” El jumps a little in her steps.
“Rink-O-Mania…” Max seems to be thinking far back. “Wait, didn’t you go to your mom’s work party there? You talked about it with me on the phone! Aren’t you like… the queen of roller skating?”
“Yes!” El seems even more joyful that Max remembered. “It has games too. It even has Dig Dug!”
“Sweet!” Max says. “I can leave my mark on Cali.” Eleven giggles again. “So… you don’t think that… bitch Angela is gonna be there, right?”
Will gapes at Max. He never realized how much El had told Max. Apparently, they talk about everything. El’s eyes go downcast.
“I… I hope not…” El looks at Max. “Can I… Can I rant?”
“Of course, El!” Max nods vigorously. “Let’s hear it.”
Then, El just went off. “I did that project I told you about. My diorama of Hopper being my hero. And she- she broke my project! In front of everyone. And made fun of him in front of the whole class! Why is she so mean to me?”
“Because girls are awful sometimes,” Max groans. “Trust me.”
They emerge from the airport, into the lukewarm spring air. Max, El, and Will barely make it through the door with their arms still linked but they do. Laughing until they almost fall down in front of everyone. But Will notices something. Something that he’s sure no one else does. The way El leans into Max. The way Max smiles at El. The way they look at each other. Will noticed. And he understood.
#see how easy it is to make them happy??#stranger things#stranger things 4#fanfic#stranger things fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#elmax#eleven#Jane hopper#max mayfield#elmax fanfic#Jonathan byers#will byers#argyle#stranger things au
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#really loved this article#basically I’m sharing screenshots from almost the whole thing#it makes me so happy to hear how much they love doing the pod#it’s my favorite project of theirs#because it’s easy and out of drag and really showcases the real them#and that the magic is in their conversation & chemistry#without the drag and editing they’re still just two funny people we all love listening to them talk#so for Trixie to say it’s her favorite too and that it’s the project she’d save the most?#even saying it’s their ‘real’ show out of everything#oh we love to see it#also maybe it’ll stop people from speculating which project is going away/getting consolidated#let’s just say out of everything… it’s most certainly not going to be the pod#and thank god for that!#especially after seeing the live pod shows#you can tell they’re having so much fun#trixie mattel#tb&tb#interview!
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I don't think we talk about xiyao exes to lovers enough. I understand that in canon the "breakup" ended with death and imo it was never going to end any other way (I have a lot of feelings about how jgy is doomed from the start) but even in aus where survival is an option I barely ever see their full potential realized. The fact that there is this heartbreaking gap that is between them now, and yet that, despite it all, they can't stop loving each other. When you have drama this good, why is the conflict relegated to outside threats and we end up with little to no exploration of internal strife, of the fact that these guys have been living a domestic lie for a decade (I cannot stress this enough, the amount of parralels between xiyao and jgy's marriage to qin su are staggering.)
And let me be clear I will NEVER begrudge anyone their hurt/comfort and wanting their faves who are denied happiness and peace at every turn to find it. god knows I need that sometimes. Or even the less healthy but so emotionally devastating fics where the caring isn't good, and it doesn't fix anything- might only make things worse, actually- and xichen ends up recreating his father's fate. I love all of those things. But. Man. This divorce was over 11 years in the making it should take AT LEAST that long to resolve. What do you do when the person you trusted the most lied to you for years? What do you do when the only person who's ever believed in you loses that faith so completely they'd hurt you over a lie without hesitation? I need me some xiyao who try to get over each other for 20 years and fail. I need them to meet after not seeing each other for years and have it hurt like no time has passed at all. I need arguments where no one raises their voice but that feel like a screaming match anyway. Do you see my vision?? Do you see what we could have?
(if fics that do exacly this are out there, recs are of course welcome)
#mdzs#meng yao#xiyao#lan xichen#jin guangyao#rs: i wish it could've been you#this might make some people really mad#at the idea that jgy has any right to have grievances with xichen but uh...#i'm not interested in arguing with jgy antis. go scream at a wall#or a different camp who DO like xiyao but who are like 'but xichen was lied to jgy wouldn't blame him'#the fact that it was a lie makes it WORSE you guys know that right?#some of you have never been the proverbial boy who cried wolf#and had people assume everything you say is a lie because you've lied in the past#and good for you! You SHOULD be honest with those you love i'm very happy for all of you#but also. lmao. you have no idea how that feels.#i have read aus where they break up and get back together of course#but i always end up feeling like people see the conflict as an obstacle? a thing to get past so we can get them back together#and not.. you know. the most interesting part. the selling point#I think in a slightly lower stakes au xiyao should wait a few years get back together because they love each other and then break up AGAIN#when they realize that the old relationship they had with that easy trust is gone forever. love isn't enough to bring that back#you can build something new. including a new kind of trust just as potent. but that old easy kind is gone.#and i think they should try to get it back because it was the best thing they ever had#and get fucked up about it when they realize they can't#and it should take them well over a decade to mourn it until they're ready to let it go and try to make something new of it#PLEASE let me talk about the xichen qin su parralels please let me talk about how rusong is nmj-coded#not in personality but in the function he has narratively as someone that can never stop haunting jgy.#the fact that nmj's death and rusong's birth were likely extremely close to each other timeline wise LET'S TALK ABOUT IT
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oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more ‘shameful’ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. it’s fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or they’ll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred 🫵 do this thing where they have big emotions but they don’t want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesn’t have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. he’s got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didn’t learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and he’s#HILARIOUS. Don’t tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasn’t learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if they’re having fun#and try to stop her if they’re not having fun. case in point ‘what is that supposed to mean?!’ vs ‘alisaie ryne was only trying to help.’#I know they’re twins but that’s such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actions—#I’m not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. ‘haha you like me’ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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hehehehe linnnnn i found this on pinterest and it's sooooo sillyyyy <3333
plssss thinking about aaron being suuuuch a dog dad🤭 after he retired, he was the one to adopt two (2!!!!!) dogs!!!! even though he said it was so your tiny little hotchner girl would have two buddies to run around with since jack is a teenager now and probably doesnt have the energy to chase around his little sister :')) (they still play together of course, he loves his lil sis and she loves him <333) but the dogs (as you told jack would happen) are his besties!!!!🤭🤭🤭🤭 whenever you're away on a case, you always get selfies of aaron and one or both the big doggy or the tiny doggy in the selfie with him and sometimes jack or your daughter would make an appearance <3 you looooove looking at your dog dad husband enjoying his post-bau life with his kiddos and his best dog friends :'))) you show the team the pictures and they always are sooo happy and proud of their former boss because they know it's what he deserves :')))))🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💞💞💞💞💞
pleaseeeeeeeeee he’s so cute :((((( 🥹🥹🥹🥹💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
it was absolutely the first case you were gone on without aaron after his retirement when you got a call from aaron asking “how mad would you be if you came home and we had a dog?” ALSHDKSJSKSKS 😭 but of course you have no problem with it!!!!! the kids have been begging for a dog for a while now (jack mostly, and his little sister just wants whatever her big brother wants 🤭) but!!!!!!! when you get home your hotchners, you find not one (1) dog but TWO (2!!!)!!!!!! one big sweet doggy and one little sweet doggy barking happily and jumping around your tiny girl while your teen boy uses treats to try and get them to sit but they are Much More interested in coming over to greet you 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 aaron gives you a sheepish grin when you kneel down to meet your new family members <3 and he tells you that when they went to the shelter to pet dogs they found this bonded pair of doggies :( who had been there for a while waiting for their forever family :( and as much as he’d like to say that the kids (and the dogs akshsjaj) turned their puppy dog eyes on him to bring the dogs home but honestly he was asking the shelter volunteers for their adoption papers before they could even tell you their names 🥺🥺🥺 and hearing that (both from your darling handsome aar-bear who you can’t wait to cover in the kisses, and from the kids) makes you fall in love with aaron all over again :’))))) knowing that he looked at these sweet doggies who needed a family to love them and Knew your family was theirs makes your heart squish HARD in your chest :’)))) he’s just so sweet :( and even in his retirement he can’t stop saving people 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
#jess!#SOBBING AND WEEEEEEEPING :’))))))#you immediately snap pictures of your puppies and your babies and your hubby and send them to the team 🤭#and of course they all tease aaron for his MASSIVE heart but they also see the easy wide grin on his face#and the love in his eyes surrounded by his little (now much bigger hehe) family and it makes them so happy :’))))))#because they know how hard he fought to get that#and how deeply he deserves it <333333#.hotch#aaron.hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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I found this to be such a random comment until I realised it was Balgeum saying it and it suddenly felt so heavy
#his money trauma runs so deep he cant see how his behaviour hurts inho much more than any money issues could#or maybe he does and its just that bad that he cant physically stop himself#when he told inho to go back i was like my man he cant keep coming back until you have enough money to feel secure#if you dont deal with this now that insecurity is gonna run for the rest of your life and even if you do have money youll always worry abou#losing them and not be able to enjoy the comfort that comes with them#and youre always going to base your feeling of self worth on them#and your happiness and everything valuable in your life would be so easy to destroy#itd crumble#i want him to see the truth so bad it hurts me watching him go through it#im happy he was at least honest with inho#thats a step#hes gonna have to take a lot of small ones too#all of these hurt boys ugh#its such a pretty show and the comedy is fun and the acting is top notch that it makes me ignore how much sadness there actually is in ever#episode#and i recommend it as a light watch because they mix the sweet and the sour so well#but i feel for all of these characters#including hyejin lol#boys be brave
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To be a king who's abandoning my duties and disguising myself as a normal human to enjoy the city and then meeting a badass woman who will kick my ass and immediately falling in love with her. I hide my identity from her and she treats me like I'm a loser I'm a simp so it doesn't matter. I would then have a son with her and I would be so happy but the both of us got betrayed and she was then killed by poison while our son survives. And I'm sorry but i couldn't be there for our son bcs now i have to atone for the things that happened and he reminds me of my beloved wife so much for it to not hurt when i look at him.
#svsss#mystic prince#yes this is about tianlang-jun and su xiyan#and also about hwa rim and ryu hua#THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING OKAY#THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND TO BE IN LOVE AND TO HAVE THEIR LITTLE FAMILY#SU XIYAN AND HWA RIM DID NOT DESERVE THEIR DEATHS#THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO SEE THEIR SON GROW UP AND LAUGH AND BE HAPPY AND LIVE WITH THEIR LITTLE FAMILY#they give me soooooo much agony#i CRIED reading both of their stories#i cried reading about tlj and sxy and then i started mystic prince and was crying and screaming 'NOT THIS AGAIN'#thet make me so unwell it's insane#how can a love like that be so damned by the world that they could not be allowed to love#WHY DOES SUCH A PURE LOVE HAS TO BE KILLED SIMPLY BCS EVERYONE ELSE WERE GREEDY AND EVIL#and why oh why is love such a curse#tlj wasn't lying when he said it's so easy to love someone but so hard to hate them
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TW Abuse
Aren feels guilt over clinging to his abuse, because he’s looked up to his Pops for so long as a role model, as someone who he should aspire to be.
But then he interacts with a toddler, or a little kid, or even people his own age. He can’t help but think about how fragile they are, how easy their skin would give way to bruises and blood, and he wonders how you could have something so precious and vulnerable, one that looks up to you with adoration and unadulterated trust, and tear it to shreds.
And he knows it was wrong, but he still tries to convince his friends otherwise. Because if they agree, that means it’s something he has to let go. He doesn’t have to look it in the eyes and ask questions that he won’t ever get an answer to.
#abuse is easy to look at objectively from far away because they’re not a person to you#because the person experiencing it clings to the good memories and pretends it makes up for the bad ones#or worse when it’s a parent who you know has gone through the same#and sometimes you have to look at it and realize change isn’t possible for someone who can’t quite leave survival mode#WOC are taught to keep silent and play clean-up afterwards#and they ask their kids to be happy because they’ve been granted better circumstances#but we forget that no matter how many tools you have you’ll never know how to use them if you’re not taught#asking happiness from a child who has never seen it from a parent will never result in progress#we teach our children to learn from our mistakes instead of from our examples#because change is fucking hard for yourself but all you can do is cling to the hope that maybe it’ll be different for them#sorry got rant-y there lol#I used to write a lot of poetry maybe I should try again and see if I can answer some things for myself#tw child abuse#kuboyasu aren#Saiki k
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smashes my current interest together with my old interest
(aka yet another "what Dungeon Meshi but Gamers?" AU)
Once when I was a child I had a complete crying meltdown over Creatures, because the manual insisted that the complicated AI of the Norns made them truly alive and 10-year-old me was freaked out at the idea of being solely responsible for making sure these real animals wouldn't die. The funny part was that this was the Playstation version of Creatures, which has no biochemistry and very basic AI compared to the PC/Mac games where players actually were debating whether or not it was true artificial life. A PSX manual gave me existential dread and it wasn't even telling the truth.
Anyway, kid!Marcille would also have a meltdown over the Creatures series, especially if she had the computer games and got to see how vastly different some breeds' lifespans are. Like in C2 where you have Norns that live for around 5 hours and Norns that live for 10, both of which are vastly more than Ettins who don't even live for 1.5 hours (and usually less due to radiation or starvation).
Lucky for her, having the computer version means she could download modified genomes made by other players that make creatures live longer or even outright remove certain death triggers. However I think she'd have more fun learning to read and edit the genomes herself, to get a better understanding of how the game works and how to change it to suit her own tastes. And because she could pretend she's one of the mysterious ancient Shee who created the Norns, Grendels, and Ettins and then vanished, leaving behind relics of their old society.
(Speaking of Grendels, she would unfortunately dislike them because they're the Designated Evil Species and she'd hate how they harass and attack her Norns. I think she'd also pity them though, because they get sick a lot and have short lifespans. Likely she'd just end up downloading/creating a genome without the aggression towards Norns. Ettins she'd like except for in C3 when they dismantle her meticulously-placed gadget setups, so she might mod out their hoarding compulsions too. Both of them would of course also live for however long her Norns would live.)
Also. While standard creatures' lifespans are counted in hours, if you modify the half-lives in the genome editor you can increase it to centuries. Or even just over a millennium if you set the half-lives to their max length (assuming you also leave the old age death trigger at its vanilla value).
and I like to think that elven Creatures players would pass around copies of what they consider a template genome that's appropriate to their own lifespans. Something that would make their creatures live for weeks or months of continuous play. I also like to think the Creatures DS Warp is still active in this AU because of the hilarious frustration when these long-lived Norns travel to worlds run by short-lived players whose Norns have vanilla lifespans, and vice versa.
(Most of the time in Creatures, offspring of parents with different lifespans will just have one or the other, but there's a chance the genes cross over right in the middle of the various age triggers and cause unstable aging rates. Like a Norn that goes through the childhood stages in hours but then has a very extended adulthood. Or a days-long childhood followed by suddenly dropping dead of old age once the vanilla adulthood genes kick in. Or, if the child has one parent's half-life decay rate and the other parent's age triggers, all sorts of odd things could happen. I once had hybrid Norns who lived for 20 hours and would die of organ failure before reaching the old age threshold!)
(Now that I think of it, Marcille would absolutely hate fast-agers. The first time she watches a creature hatch, turn old, and die in just one brief minute of life, she would be sobbing for days. One of the first things she'd learn to mod out would be mutations that cause the Ageing/Life chemical to decrease unusually fast.)
On a lighter note, while I don't know what her favorite designs would be I think she'd love choosing cute breeds to use in her world. Once she figured out how to give her creatures the comfortable life she wants them to have I can see her redirecting all her gene-editing efforts into changing color expressions. She might even learn to sprite or model her own custom designs.
#creatures#creatures games#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#(not directly but the Implications are there)#(later tags will be more direct about spoilers)#anyway all the PC Creatures games are on Steam and Docking Station is free#Caveat One: Creatures 2 does not run well on modern systems (though the Steam release is trying to fix that)#Caveat Two: The Creatures series was made during the 'spanking is acceptable' era so uh.#No sugarcoating it: Physical abuse is used as discipline.#(unless it's Creatures Village where they replaced slapping with a water spray)#I made a mod for C3/DS that just uses buttons instead of the hand; it was released for the CCSF 2023 community event but#I should re-release it here too someday. I should also revisit my slap-disabler mod and see if I can make it easy to install.#but that's a task for Future Me and not Present Me#anyway Sissel/Thistle is also a Creatures player but he cares more about micromanaging his population than caring for them#he removes not just their death triggers but also their drive to eat and sleep. they're permanently happy zombies basically#he doesn't make peace with Grendels and Ettins he just puts them in the airlock#he gets involved in the Creatures Abuse discourse and somehow makes everyone mad#however he is also a very prolific modder who has made all sorts of interesting animals and metarooms; ppl in the fandom respect his skills#and he does truly care about his vision of a utopian world for his favorite Norns#idk if any other dunmeshi character would play Creatures. Milsiril might like it?#Kabru wouldn't play but he'd get a kick out of reading the many ethical debates and drama between fans#everyone else I feel might be put off by the game's very slow pace or by the complexities of raising creatures#anyway hey I haven't posted on tumblr for months; I am sorry and this WILL happen again#Eventually i will remember how to Create Things#that is also a task for Future Me
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Okay but what if (Patreon)
#Doodles#TSP#Stanley#Me while reading: Now don't make a papercraft okay? Don't make a papercraft don't make a papercraft don't make a-#Predictably lol#It's the kind of structure that invites speculation! Who would you choose and what would their name be and how would they adapt#And The Stanley Parable wasn't even out at the time!! FJkldsafdf#Me when anything: I want to#Stanley would be so fun to play as ♪ Small but close-knit cast and since it's an institute it should have accommodations for his mutism#And he's no stranger to painful and confusing situations haha#You can see my indecision on which sign language Stanley knows haha#He never speaks so we don't know what accent Stanley would have but we know the Narrator is British! So#But I also don't know any British Sign Language and I know it's different than ASL òuò;#Granted my knowledge of ASL is far far far from fluent but I do know some at least so if /I/ was the one playing as him-#Anyway moot point since languages are directly translated anyway :P Though I wonder about sign language#I assume there were some nonverbal patients I just haven't seen any myself :0#I have also made a Narrator card to match Stanley 😔#Actually - hehe - I had a lot of fun picking their ''real'' names ♪#The Narrator's was pretty easy honestly I knew I had to give him the first name Kevan and then I wanted to keep his last initial#So I went with ''Baker'' since it's a common name :) Very cute!#And then for Stanley since I headcanon him as being Greek/Latino - heavier on the Greek side - I gave him a Greek name!#Again same first initial - couple letters even for that ''St-'' sound :) - and scanned through some Greek last names#And liked the sound of Psomas with Stefano - but ♪ You'll never guess ♫#It's a similarly common name for a reason - ''Psomas'' translates to ''bread maker''#Kevan and Stefano Baker they're husbands fr your honour#Hghhghh I just think it's so cute!! And I didn't do it on purpose it was just a happy accident!! I love them <3
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ceo au but its just mc surviving working as lucifer's assistant and asmo keeps flirting with them everytime he visits
#thats the whole thing :] the end#okay i lied its not the whole thing#ive been daydreaming about it and its a slowburn in my head#mc becomes workaholic due to working for lucifer#its not easy working for him im sure#everything needs to be perfect and done on time and they have to present themselves a specific way and blah blah#so i get to work with the dynamic of the person who is very work focused and the person who is about chasing thrills#each of the brothers has their own successful endeavor going on but they do a lot of work together so mc sees them often#i dont know how businesses work exactly lol#but ive always love making AUs#obey me just likes making AUs too so its like should i just focus on canon??#obey me#obey me asmodeus#asmodeus x reader#asmodeus x mc#of course actual feelings are caught#tbh theres no a lot of drama in this au#they just get together in the end and everyones happy#maybe mc quits their job because theyre burned out and they rather go work for less pay at this point#and lucifer is like dammit theyre really good at what they do and are already used to everything and everyone#so it would be a pain replacing them#and he wants them to come back#he also likes them as a person but probably wont say that
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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seriously yakuza 3 should’ve ended almost exactly the same way it did except when it’s shown that kiryu’s back in okinawa at the end majima should’ve been there too. that’s it. that’s all they needed to do
#the man was basically BEGGING for kiryu to take him with him that whole game he is So tired of getting left behind gahagagdhhdhshh#that’s ALL oh my god it would’ve been so EASY#it’s so frustrating I know I’ve said it a billion times but let that man be happy for the love of god#even if it’s vague. or even if it’s for a little while. it would’ve been better than abandoning him and shrugging off his willingness to do#Anything for kiryu ghagagahhahhshsgshdhdhh#bangs my head against a desk#kazumaji#rambling#I think it’s partly particularly frustrating because y3 was the strongest game for kazumaji shit and then they just sorta left it hanging#like none of the shit between them in the game never happened#like fuck dude. you don’t even need to think about it Gayly to see that at the very least had a whole arc and multiple scenes overall#dedicated to Kiryu Can Trust Majima In Any Circumstance. Majima Would Do Anything For Him#like that’s. what the whole of chapter 8 was about.#so then turning around and acting like kiryu just doesn’t care at all about any of that#well obviously it makes him look like a selfish prick but also it just doesn’t align with how he was the rest of the game generally#they also fucked over rikiya like I was 100% expecting some little tribute to him at the end back in Okinawa but there was Nothing#so that too but#yeah#xxgdhdjdjdjdjfgmg im mad because this is one of my favorite games in the franchise so I can’t just outright say It’s Bad or something like#I can with. say. 1/kiwami 1
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little wip, im just happy with how it’s going hehe c:
#i cant believe im drawing thane in 2022 i swear to you :V#when i was a teen in 2013-4 i just didnt feel happy with how i drew aliens because i literally Couldn't imagine how I could draw them#not enough skill or braincells Literally HAHA#so it makes me happy to see that this was quite easy and fun hehe c:#thane krios#mass effect#art tag!
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realizing it's not me and some people are just so incredibly self-centered they can't see anything as something other than an attack on them personally
#i literally put my everything into being kind and doing better and the people who completely shut down around me consistently#are the most self-centered people i've met. like. can't even try to understand other people's lives. i'm just an easy scapegoat#i don't even THINK to make a conscious malicious act towards someone but it's always painted like i am.#even when the other person ADMITS to intentionally doing things to hurt me#idk i'm genuine and certain people take advantage of that i think. i want people to like me and people see my insecurity and run with it#most people tell me how much of a joy i am to be around and i need to listen to them rather than a select few who don't even like me for me#just the me they can play with and torment#go and pout in a corner!! i'm gonna go be happy. i'm tired of you making my life hell because i wouldn't roll over for you#jay chatter
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