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ken-dom · 3 months

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Take Me Home

Officer K x gn!reader

2.1k words

∘₊✧ Summary: K is learning to understand the new feelings you've brought into his life. There is one he quickly learns to understand completely. Understands, and needs.

∘₊✧ Author's notes: This was written for the Morning Sunshine Collab with my friends on Goosecord, and is dedicated to the anons who have been asking me for more K. Here he finally is! Thank you Lily for organising us, answering my K questions and coming up with the perfect name for his neon cum! Sascha, Tucker and Clam for giving me confidence to write him, and my bestie/sister K for, as always, being my sanity and my beta reader! Title from Home by Daughter.

∘₊✧ Warnings/content: NSFW, sleepy morning making out, blow job, Luminescum (like Ken's glizz but make it BR2049)

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K appreciates nothing more than these blissfully warm moments, waking up with you laid half on top of him, weighing him down like a… what was it you’d called it? Ah yes, a comfort blanket. And comfort, it most certainly was.

At first he’d likened being close to you with realising the sensation of snow against his skin was actually kind of pleasant if he paid attention to it. Both filled him with a soothing sort of wonder after an initial period of apprehension. The kind of feeling one might experience upon discovering there is more to life and being able to start actually experiencing and enjoying it.

But the longer this went on – that is, you, staying – the more it began to feel like something else that K couldn’t quite place. Over time, you’d helped him recognise that the new, satisfying feeling he was being faced with was called home. Feeling at home. He liked the sound of that. It sounded permanent. And safe.

And he does feel safe with you. He feels safe to explore who he is, rather than what he was expected to be. He feels safe sleeping with you pressed to him in only his underwear, otherwise exposed, yet waking up calm and relaxed as rain beats down against his windows, distorting the neon glow from the city outside that lights up his room far more than the dull glow of morning sun. He wishes these moments could last forever, and in some ways, he supposes, they do.

There were other feelings you’d helped him to fully grasp too, of course. Some of them were difficult to sit with, and K had been glad to put a name to them and to know he wasn’t alone in experiencing them, that you were there to support him. And some were rather more… physical. Thrilling. He was exceptionally glad you were there to help him explore those feelings too.

And sometimes, all these intense and newly tangible feelings combine into a rush of emotions and sensations and it’s the most alive K has ever felt.

This morning, he feels alive, too. And he feels content.

He’d slept as well as ever with you draped over him, his arms resting comfortably around your torso with one hand up in your hair, fingertips stroking soothing circles against your scalp as you fell asleep first and then, as your breathing slowed to a steady snore, he fell too.

He has no intention of rushing to do anything today, or of thinking ahead to what might need to be done. For now, K just wants to enjoy you. He absentmindedly begins to drag those affectionate fingertips in gentle patterns over your skin, unknowingly leaving shivers in their wake.

When you eventually stir against his chest, your fingernails scrape pleasantly at his sides – he feels alive, he thinks again – and you shift yourself to look up at him with a soft smile, he feels his heart beat just a little faster in his chest and his lips curl into a smile, too. He all but stops breathing when, without a word, you pull yourself up to press your lips to his, beginning what feels like a blissful eternity of slow, languid kisses and tender touches.

At some unknown point, his limbs and yours tangle, and your fingers find their way up to comb through his hair, too. You couldn’t be very much closer; K’s whole world spins and reduces to just this bed, just you, and him.

Something else K appreciates more than he could say is how there is so little need for words between the two of you. Especially since you’ve become a regular fixture in his life, he needs you more than he dares to ask. More than he dares to believe he was meant for. He tries not to think about that.

You understand him, you see, and he’s not sure if that’s unusual or not; whether other people in love (another new experience for him that he isn’t entirely sure he fully grasps yet) just get one another like that without a necessity for constant explanations. But he likes it because it only adds to that feeling of home, of being safe, and, he supposes, of being wanted.

When you kiss him, quick and chaste or intense and passionate or somewhere in between, his stomach seems to flip. Butterflies, you’d called it. You’d said it would probably subside over time and to enjoy it while it lasted, but it never did subside. Not yet anyway.

Your current kissing, although never reducing in intensity, slows gradually to an almost stop. In honesty, you’re still sleepy and not yet ready to face the day, but not tired enough to lie completely still either. And you can never resist him with his hair slightly mussed from sleep and that coy but loved up sparkle in his eyes.

Your lips break apart and you find yourselves face to face on one shared pillow that smells like him — lightly industrial like he carries the air of the city with him, a subtle hint of rain, and musk from the heat of your bodies pressed together while you slept. You take a deep breath to savour him while you’re laid here, just feeling one another’s hot breath against your damp, kiss-swollen lips.

K’s eyes slip closed as you lay tangled together and he feels a pang of embarrassment at the familiar heat pooling in his lower belly. He isn’t sure if you intended this to turn into anything more, and whilst he was truly and completely lost in the pure intimacy of it all, sometimes, he finds, he can’t quite control his arousal. You’ve assured him that it’s perfectly normal plenty of times, but he still feels his face heat up each time he recognises the signs.

You press forward and join your lips to his once again, with a little more vigour than before. Still, it’s semi-weightless and playful, and he feels your lips curl into a smirk against his.

He doesn’t close his eyes, just furrows his brow as concern begins to edge into the periphery of his conscience, ready to consume him. His cock stiffens some more against his will, too, and deep down he knows he can’t actually will his erection away. Especially not with you so close and relishing in him the way you do, lavishing him with affection.

You slide your lips to his jaw, and his eyes flick downward, almost suspicious, trying to follow your movements despite being mostly out of his field of vision, but they finally slip shut again when you move lower and suck lightly against the pulse point in his throat while your hand glides down from his shoulder, tingling over his bare arm and dropping to rest on the soft contour of his waist.

You shuffle yourself further down, beneath the duvet, just the top of your head exposed to him now as you circle a nipple with the tip of your tongue and, feeling his otherwise slow and steady breath catch in his chest, you smile up at him from beneath the quilt, biting your lip. Anticipation, and a question. Sheepishly, K nods, and you slide yourself lower still, hearing a quiet little, ‘Oh,’ escape his throat as you disappear beneath the covers.

It’s warm under here, and you feel the pull of sleep tugging at your consciousness, but you’ve no intention of succumbing to it. Instead you push his hips to position him on his back and settle between his thighs. It's an easy manoeuvre; muscle memory by now, but even so he’s trembling slightly, just like the first time. You can picture his face, burning with desire and uncertainty as to why you’d want to do this with him.

As your fingers curl around the elastic of his plain grey underwear, your eyes are drawn to the small luminous patch of blue that’s formed at the tip of his bulge, leaking beautifully through the thin fabric.

You’d never seen a replicants’ cum before K. He'd blushed profusely when you’d praised him for how pretty it was that first time you brought him off with your hand, pulling your sticky, wet palm out of his trousers with delight and awe written all over your face. When he caught his breath he ashamedly told you it’s a substance called Luminescum. A flavourless, harmless lubricant secreted during sexual encounters and ejaculated at the climax. Although all replicants are built with the ability to produce Luminescum, few ever actually use that ability – aside from pleasure models, of course.

You remember that night with a smile, planning to tell him how pretty it is again later. Maybe you’ll see if he’s got more than one orgasm in him this morning so you can stroke him to another release, talk him through his oversensitive pleasure and see that handsome blush colouring his cheeks again as his eyes squeeze shut and his body shakes through another release he doesn’t think he deserves.

But for now you lazily mouth at his length over the fabric in no hurry at all, taking your time just as you had when you’d made out in almost slow motion just minutes ago. And as much as K is on the same wavelength this morning, he can’t stop his hips bucking up in response to your warm tongue, or his breath turning heavy at the thrill running through him, or his cheeks feeling hot at how eager to please him you always are.

Pulling his underwear down, you clean up his pretty neon precum quickly with your tongue. Despite its impressive glow and colour it really does taste of relatively little. Slightly synthetic is the only way you can think to describe it, but you can never get enough all the same, because it’s him.

You hear him whimper as your palm slides down his length, muffled slightly by the duvet, and you feel him searching for you over it, fingers strong enough to tear the fabric if he wanted to. The thought causes a fresh wave of heat to rush to your core. He’s always so gentle when he touches you, so careful and tender, but he can fuck like a rabid animal when you ask for it, too; can make your toes curl with the snapping of his hips and his low growls and possessive, grabbing fingers.

You lick a warm, firm stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, eliciting another thick pump of that impressive blue, and then take him into your mouth, moaning around him as you suck, slow and steady.

K is feeling far from slow and steady above the covers, however, and he’s thankful you can’t see his face from where you are because he’s a mess; hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, cheeks flushed, mouth agape. He's sure you’d tell him he looks beautiful just like you always do, but it doesn’t stop embarrassment making his head spin. And he knows you can hear him gasping and humming and letting out choked little groans which only adds to the heat spreading over his cheeks.

He’s completely lost in a haze of pleasure until your tongue flicks so deliciously over his tip, and again, and again, before swallowing him back down, and as incredibly sensitive to your touch as he usually is, he just can’t hold off any longer.

He feels his muscles begin to tense and his hips, rolling in time with your movements, stutter, and with a desperate whine, he cums, lukewarm neon spilling down your eager throat as he writhes in the blissful agony of his release above you.

Devouring every last drop of his tasteless, harmless, gorgeous Luminescum, you tuck his softening cock back into his stained, glowing underwear with care, joining him back on the pillow where you immediately let out an involuntary moan at how gorgeously fucked out he looks, his palm still poised at his mouth where he’d bitten down on his knuckles at the height of his pleasure.

He averts his gaze when his eyes flutter open, timid under the heat of your gaze, and for the hundredth time you’re glad he’s not a pleasure model, because where would the fun be if he wasn’t so needy and receptive to you?

‘Good morning,’ you mutter sleepily, lips glowing with a tinge of neon blue that makes his heart race.

He simply curls back into the warmth of your embrace without a word, your arms wrapping around him once again.

Safe and warm and sated. Home.

#not s f w 💀#officer k x reader #officer k #officer k smut #officer k fic #officer k fluff #ryan gosling #ryan gosling x reader #ryan gosling smut #ryan gosling fluff #blade runner 2049 #blace runner 2049 fic #ken-dom writes

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landoncrris · 2 years

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secret heart - chapter three

mason mount x reader

SECRET HEART // MASTERLIST

warnings: mentions of throwing up

word count: 5.7k

It had been a week since you last spoke to Mason. Shortly after he left the club, you also felt uncomfortable because you were there alone without your friends. Even though you didn’t really talk to them much when they were still there. But luckily, even though you were so drunk and said you could go home alone, Sascha called you both a taxi and accompanied you on your way home. Which was another step on your way to saying yes to the date.

You found it strange that Mason never once sent you a message or called you. Of course, you’ only known each other for almost two weeks, but you still talked every day. Aside from driving you, he was also always replying to your Instagram stories to talk to you more. Which he didn’t do this week, even though for some reason you found yourself posting more than usual. But he still just looked at it and left it uncommented.

And no matter what reason you came up with for his sudden distancing, you didn’t like any of them. So you came to the only conclusion that seemed better, which was that he was just too busy. Too busy recovering from his injury and too frustrated that he couldn’t play at the moment. Especially since he was also no longer at Kai’s, which even he found unusual.

Other than that, your week has been good. Uni seemed to be going wonderfully so far, with lots of nice and understanding people around you. The first week of work has been great too, despite your fear that your connection with Mason would make a difference. But it was also quite exhausting being on your feet all day. So you found yourself in the living room on Saturday, a day off that you just wanted to spend being lazy. The perfect opportunity, as Kai was at an away game and Sophia was at the stadium with some of her friends to support them.

Which game you were about to watch on TV too. But when you tried to turn it on, it didn’t work. You then groaned in frustration, hoping it would just take a little longer. But after a few minutes it still didn’t work. After which you tried everything you could think of, from changing the batteries on the remote to unplugging the TV and plugging it back in. After nothing you tried worked, you sank back onto the couch, now not so happy to be home alone.

You thought about watching the game on your laptop, but you couldn’t because you didn’t know any of Kai’s passwords and you didn’t have any of the programmes to watch football. So you thought about calling someone, either Sophia to give you a password, but as the game had already started, you didn’t want to annoy her. The only person you kept thinking about was Mason. He was at home anyway because he was injured, but because you haven’t had a conversation recently, you cancelled that option every time.

Still, you dialled Mason’s number, too frustrated to just accept defeat. You tried to think of what to say in your head, but before you could, he picked up with a confused “Hello” which made you swallow a nervous lump. Which was strange, because normally you weren’t nervous around him at all.

“Hey, um, sorry to interrupt, but—” you interrupted yourself with a nervous laugh. There was only silence on the other side, which made you even more nervous, even though you knew there was nothing for him to say yet. “I know it’s stupid, but I wanted to watch the game, but the TV isn’t working and now I don’t know what to do. And I didn’t know who else to call.” you said the last words a little more quietly because you were a bit embarrassed that you had no one else.

“Did you try changing the batteries?” he asked, thankfully he didn’t sound upset or angry with you, which calmed you down a little.

“Didn’t work.”

“And have you tried to check if it’s coming from the power connection somehow?”

“I did.” You suddenly felt stupid and rolled your eyes at yourself, as you felt it was somehow wrong to call him and ask for his help.

“Then I can’t really help you from here, yo—”

“No I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to call, I’ll jus—”

“Y/N.” he interrupted you, at which point you fell silent, stopped your rambling and took a deep breath as you waited for him to say something. You felt like the roles had changed somehow, because before he had been nervous around you. But now it seemed to be you instead.

“You can come over if you want? We could watch the game together.” he said, surprising you. At that, you bit your cheek and tried to hide your smile, even though he couldn’t see you anyway. Until that moment, you didn’t realise how much you really missed talking to him. Whenever you sat in the car together and talked, you felt relaxed. Which was strange, considering you didn’t really know him, but it felt like you had known him for years. He was just so easy to talk to.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause you any trouble or anything.”

“One hundred percent sure. I’ll send you my address, all right?”

“All right, thanks a lot.” you replied, hearing a rustle in the background as he rised from the sofa and made his way to the kitchen. You both said goodbye, you then hung up and headed straight upstairs. Throwing on a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt instead of the pyjamas you were still wearing.

You felt a bit weird sitting in your car, right in front of his house, which you now saw for the first time. The only reason you got out of the car quickly, without even taking a breath, was that you thought he must have heard your car drive up. Which proved to be true, because he opened the door before you could even reach it. You looked down at him and saw that he was wearing a blue apron, with a Chelsea logo in the middle. Causing you to laugh as you gave him a quick hug in greeting.

“Why are you wearing that?” you were still giggling, biting your lip to hold back as he just pouted. Before answering, he put his hand on your shoulder and stepped aside, a silent invitation for you to come in.

“You like it?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips as he looked down at himself with a proud smile on his face. You let out another breathy laugh, coupled with a shake of your head as you realised again how much you missed his company.

“It actually looks quite good, but why?” you asked again, expecting an answer like that he’s not able to wear his jersey because he wasn’t playing and it made him sad, whereupon he took the next best thing. Which did not correspond at all to what actually happened.

“I made dinner in case you were hungry. I just didn’t want to be a bad host, you know?” He shrugged, as he always did when he admitted he had done something nice. When you had taken off your shoes, he put a hand on your shoulder again and led you into the living room.

“Thanks, you’re the best.” you smiled, but at that moment you also remember how you hadn’t spoken to each other for a week, which suddenly made you nervous again. Because you didn’t even know why he didn’t message you and whether he did it on purpose or whether you just read too much into it. But you didn’t try to talk to him either, so who were you to judge?

“So, are you hungry?” he asked, moving behind the kitchen counter as he placed what looked like spag bol on a plate, probably for himself. You nodded and mumbled another quiet thank you as you took in your surroundings. It was a fairly open space, the kitchen and living room right next to each other, while a large wall of windows lit up the room. There was little decoration and it looked like he had just bought the house like it was now without changing anything, but it still looked beautiful.

“You can sit wherever you want, just make yourself at home.” he said as he put some on your plate too. You accepted his offer and went over to the dining table where you could still see the TV. Seeing that the second half had just started and that Chelsea were leading 1-0.

“Who scored?” you asked, smiling as he put the plate and a fork down in front of you. Before he sat down next to you so that he could also see the TV.

“Kai did.” he replied before putting the first fork of food in his mouth. You just hummed in response, feeling the usual sense of pride for your brother. He moved the chair he was sitting on a little closer to the table, bumping his knee against yours, probably because he had spread his legs wider. The feeling made you nervous again and you secretly watched him eat out of the corner of your eye while you tried to find the courage to ask the question that had been on your mind for days.

“Mason?” he hummed in response, gulping down the food before looking at you, but without you saying anything, he widened his eyes, “Oh my god, I forgot to ask if you wanted a drink, I’m so sorry.” He made a quick move to get up, but you just pulled him back down by his wrist and laughed at him. As you did so, it astounded you again how nice he always was.

“That’s all right, I wasn’t going to ask that.” you murmured, loosening your grip on his wrist again. He frowned as he sat opposite you, his knee still bumping against your thigh, from a different angle now. But still neither of you moved to do anything about it.

“I just wanted to make sure that everything was okay between us? I kind of felt like you were ignoring me since we were at the club last week.” you admitted and immediately saw the line between his eyebrows disappear. His features softened again at your words and a sympathetic smile was on his lips.

“Everything’s fine, I’m sorry you had that feeling.”

“Don’t worry, I’m just glad you don’t hate me yet.” you said, turning to your food for the first time as you tried it too. When you had finished chewing, you turned to him and saw that he was still sitting there, facing you, with a smile on his face, waiting for your reaction.

“You weren’t lying when you said you were a good cook.” he smiled even wider and raised his brows cockily. Before turning back to his own food, “Maybe I’ll have to let you cook for me more often now.”

“Whenever you want.” he mumbled. You both finished eating in silence while your eyes were fixed on the screen. Mason yelled despite the food in his mouth when Chelsea scored another goal, and it was the first time you’d seen him like that since the Champions League final. Which certainly brought back some memories. After you finished eating and he told you that you didn’t have to help clean up because that’s what the dishwasher was for, you made your way to the sofa with a roll of your eyes.

“Oh, Mase, I forgot my phone, can you hand it to me please?” you put on your best puppy dog eyes and pointed your finger at the phone that was still laying on the dining table. He gasped as he picked it up and slapped his hand over his mouth, making you frown for a moment.

“You won’t believe what Sophia just sent you.” he tried to say in a stern tone, but failed miserably as he could hardly hide his giggle. Which quickly led to the realisation that he was just making it up. “Oh my god, Y/N, you did what? I never thought you would do something like that.” he now tried to shake his head in disappointment, slowly moving closer to the sofa while still pretending to read something on your phone.

“Mason—”

“No way!” he gasped again overdramatically, causing you to sigh. You tried to reach for your phone as soon as he sat down next to you. But he quickly held it up in the air, moving it away from you every time you tried to grab it. And while he chuckled at your attempts, you just groaned.

“Give me my phone back,” you said, “please?” and tried to put on your best puppy-dog eyes once more, but he just shook his head. Causing your expression to harden again, “Mason, come on.” you whined and tried to grab your phone again, but he was still faster than you. This went on for a while, with a few more attempts from you, getting more creative each time. By now you were kneeling next to him on the sofa, trying to push his shoulder away so you can get to your phone more easily. This ended up with you accidentally pushing him onto his back on the sofa and you landing on top of him. You immediately joined in his laughter and put your forehead on his shoulder as you both giggled in unison.

“Here.” he said, putting your phone on his chest as he calmed from his laughter, causing you to lift your head to look at it. Before your eyes met his, which was when you really realised that you were sitting on top of him, straddling one of his thighs, while your arms were next to his head. You were both lost in that moment for a few seconds, and the tension between the two of you grew into something that hadn’t existed before. And while it pushed you away, it also pulled you in at the same time.

You were interrupted by the referee’s loud whistle as the game was still on beside you, now signalling the end of the game and another win for Chelsea. You cleared your throat and quickly climbed off him as he propped himself up only on his elbows. You mentally slapped yourself, hating that it had come to this, when things had been going so well and not at all weird for the last fifty minutes.

“I should probably go, I was going to do some work for uni tonight, so...” you stood up and not once again looked at him as you walked over to his counter where your bag was. While he was still having trouble collecting his thoughts.

“Oh, sure, I’ll walk you to the door.” he also jumped up from the sofa and walked behind you to the door while standing there waiting for you to put your shoes back on.

“Thank you again for everything.” you said as you stood in front of him, not knowing if a hug was the best idea at the moment. “No need to thank me, you are always welcome here.” he smiled and opened the door for you, whereupon you both said goodbye. Afterwards you walked out the door, sat down in your car and heaved a sigh, again unable to calm down for long as he would probably notice you were still there.

You were just in the café where you now work, having spent the rest of your Monday at university. Although you had already done everything for the week at the weekend, as you used it as an opportunity not to think about anything else. You were tidying everything up as the café was due to close in a few minutes when you heard the bell ring. Telling you that someone had just walked in, but when you looked up, you definitely didn’t expect Mason to be standing in front of you.

“Hey, sorry, am I too late?” he asked when he saw that you were already clearing the counters and the chairs were already on the tables. “Late for what?” You frowned in confusion as he sat down on one of the bar stools across from you, putting a bag of something down on his lap.

“Too late as in you are already closed?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine. I can still make you a coffee if you want?” to which he nodded, which was the sign for you to go to the coffee machine and take one of the cups that were just clean again, but it didn’t matter after all the favours he had done you too.

“So... why the coffee at seven?” you asked as you handed him the coffee, turning once more to get some milk and sugar, knowing he didn’t need much.

“I’m not actually here for the coffee.” he said with a shrug, pouring some milk and sugar into his coffee before taking a wooden spoon next to him to stir it. “What else did you come for?” you asked as you picked up the rag again and quickly tidied up the last few corners as you had to finish soon.

“I just know how much you’ve been studying the last few days, so I wanted to check on you,”he said, taking a sip of his coffee even though it was still hot, “And I brought you something because I know you like them.” he added, putting the cup back on the counter before getting something from the bag on his lap. As it turned out, he brought you the same chocolate chip cookies you ate every day on the drive to university.

“These are my favourites.” you pouted with a smile on your face, taking them from him as your smile grew even wider. “What a coincidence.” he muttered, trying to hide his own grin as you looked him in the eye and thanked him before putting them in your own bag that was under the counter.

“I was also wondering if you’d li—” he was interrupted again by the bell ringing, whereupon both your eyes glanced towards the door. And your heart dropped when you saw what you had dreaded for days. When you got home on Saturday, you called Sascha and asked him when he would have time to take you out on this date. Whereupon you agreed that he would pick you up from work today. In retrospect, you were not quite sure why you did this, as you felt anxious for some reason, but you were also willing to give him another chance.

“Hey, Y/N, are you ready yet?” he asked, smiling half-heartedly at Mason as he walked over to where your jacket was hanging. You nodded in response and smiled again as he helped you into your jacket. “Thanks again, Mason.” you said, walking back to the counter to get your bag as his eyes remained fixed on the cup in his hand, apart from the few glances at you. “And as for this...” you pointed at the cup, thinking of a solution, but he beat you to it.

“You could give me the key and I’ll lock up and give it back to you in the morning?”

“Are you sure? I don’t think—”

“I’m sure Tom won’t mind, I’ve done this for him a few times too.” he said and held out his hand, to which you sighed. Finally you dropped the key into his hand, whereupon he once again put on a not very convincing smile and put the key into the pocket of his sweatpants. Sascha was already dragging you out of the café and talking about where he thought you could go without giving you the chance to say anything to Mason before you left.

Three hours into your date, you had to admit that it was going better than you thought. Fortunately, he was more charming now that he was no longer drunk, but still something was missing. You haven’t figured out what it was yet. Maybe the fact that his humour was a little different from yours, which made it hard to talk to him, apart from small talk. But in the end, you were still glad you went on the date.

“You know, I really enjoyed spending time with you.” said Sascha, as you sat down on a bench in the park, where you settled for some time after a visit to the restaurant. Because he didn’t want to go home yet, even though it was now already 10 pm and you were already afraid of being totally tired in the morning. You sat together just as you had then in the club, his arm around you, fingers stroking your shoulder. At his words, you turned your head to look him in the eye and smiled in response.

“And I’d really like to ask you out on another date.” he added, stroking some hair behind your ear with his other hand. “I guess we could arrange something.” you said, to which he grinned at you, his hand now cupping your cheek as you stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments. That is, until his eyes fell on your lips and he grinned even wider as he looked into your eyes again. Just as he was about to lean in to kiss you, your phone rang. You immediately took that as an opportunity to avert your gaze from him and turn your head to pull out your phone as you heard him scoff beside you. But you couldn’t care less.

“Mason?” You answered the phone when you saw it was him. You wondered why he was calling, especially since he knew you had a date. And if he was checking to see if you were still there, he would’ve probably sent you a message, you thought.

“Hey, Y/N.” he said barely audibly, which almost answered your question about why he called.

“Are you drunk?”

“No. Maybe?” he said, followed by a soft chuckle from him, the reason for which you did not know. After that, you could hear various voices in the background, and something else that you thought were probably cars. Causing you to frown.

“Where are you? Why did you call?”

“Umm…” he thought about what you had asked and what he should answer first, as his thoughts were jumbled and he had almost forgotten what you had asked again, “I’m, outside a house and.... I called because I didn’t know who else to call.” he said, followed by another giggle. You wondered if he was making fun of you for saying the same thing as you did a few days ago or if he was serious.

“Do you want me to pick you up?”

“Yes, please?” he sighed, putting his phone on speaker and resting his head on his knees as he sat on the stairs to the house. While you could hear Sascha next to you scoffing once again, seemingly angry at you for ending your date like that. Especially at that moment.

“Can you send me an address?” you asked without getting an answer, “Mase?” you asked again. Now you could hear him humming, which told you he was still there.

“I can try.”

“Who’s place are you at?”

“Ben’s.”

“Okay, it’s fine, just stay there and I’ll be there soon, okay?” he replied again only humming, feeling too tired to answer properly. You said goodbye to him once more before hanging up and quickly putting your phone in your pocket before turning your attention to Sascha. After you had managed to explain everything to him and get him to drive you back to your workplace so you could take your car, and after you had got Ben’s address from Kai, which you hoped was the right one, you started driving there.

When you got there, your eyes scanned the place, but it wasn’t long before you found him sitting on the stairs, in the same position he had been in about twenty minutes ago during your conversation. You hastily parked the car in an empty space, then got out and made your way to Mason, from where you could still hear the booming music coming from the house.

“Mase?” you said quietly, so as not to startle him too much. But fortunately for you, he immediately but slowly raised his head and a broad smile spread across his face when he saw you standing in front of him. “How do you feel?” you held out your hand to him, which he gladly took as he got to his feet.

“Good. But also horrible.” he replied, a little wobbly on his feet. That prompted you to put your arm around him, and his arm went around your shoulder, even if it wasn’t much help. But you figured that at least it would be something. And he couldn’t deny that just being close to someone helped a little. You opened the passenger door for him and made sure he was sitting safely inside before closing it again and getting in the car as well.

As you got into the car, you saw him leaning his head against the window with his mouth slightly open. You decided to give him a few moments of rest until you dropped him off at his place. When you got there, you gently nudged him awake, whereupon he groaned and rubbed his eyes.

“Can’t I just sleep in here?”

“No, come on.” you laughed and unbuckled your seatbelt and his, but before you could open the car door, he held you by the wrist and whined a low, “No.” while letting his head sink against your arm, no desire at all to leave the car.

“Will it help you if I tell you that you can lie in your comfy bed and wear comfy clothes?” you asked, referring to the absolutely not comfortable-looking jeans he was wearing. He then thought for a moment, but after a few seconds shook his head.

“Well, it’s not my fault you can’t handle much alcohol.” you said teasingly, pulling your hand out of his grip, whereupon he finally raised his head and gave you a pouty look. “Heyy,” he whined, “I didn’t even drink that much.” he muttered, but you just raised your eyebrows in reply.

“Maybe that’s because you’re not actually supposed to drink in the middle of the season.”

“Okay, mum.” he snorted, suddenly finding the look you were giving him so funny that he burst into a fit of laughter. But when he came down from it and realised he was still sitting in that car, which really felt a little uncomfortable now, coupled with the stern look on your face, he pouted once again.

“Fine, but I’m not going inside until you say you’ll stay with me.”

“Mason I—”

“Please? I don’t want to be alone.” and you knew immediately that you couldn’t say no to the look on his face. So you finally nodded, but immediately regretted it when he slammed his fist against the roof of your, well, kai’s car and let out a kind of victory yell. You were sure it would ring in your ears for days to come.

“Sorry.” he said immediately when he saw the look on your face and tried to whisper, but it didn’t work out so well. The same went for his attempt to open the car door himself, because he didn’t seem to have enough strength to push it all the way open. You rolled your eyes, got out and walked around the car to help him get out this time.

“Do you have your keys?” you asked, taking up the same position as the last time you walked side by side. Only now he was leaning a little more against you, making you wonder how he could ever become this drunk in just three hours of your absence. In answer to your question, he glanced at the pocket of the varsity jacket he was wearing. Making you pull out the keys with the hand that had not tried to hold him.

“Have you eaten anything?”

“Yup.” you walked into the door, whereupon he immediately dropped into the armchair next to the door, “I need a break.” and although he was a footballer, his stamina was visibly poor at the moment. While he was taking his “break” you went into the kitchen and got him a glass of water. And when you came back, he had already taken off his shoes and his jacket was lying on the floor next to him. Peeping out of his pocket was his phone, which you then took yourself to carry upstairs for him.

“Ready?” you asked, watching him nod as he stood back up but his eyes remained closed, “Where’s your room?” he just pointed his finger upwards to which you just nodded, not knowing what kind of answer you were expecting in his state.

You put your arm around his waist again for support, and you didn’t know how, but you got him up the stairs, and fortunately the glass of water and his phone too. Once at the top, he instinctively walked towards what you assumed was his room.

“Here, drink this.” you handed him the glass of water before he could drop backwards onto the bed, instead sitting down on the edge of the bed while he did as you said. After he had drunk it all, he took off the white T-shirt he was wearing and also unbuttoned his jeans, but did not take them off, instead finally dropping onto the bed with a groan. While he did that, your head turned away quickly so as not to stare at him while you tried to figure out where you were staying, but his renewed groan and his quick walk to the bathroom snapped you out of your thoughts.

The second you heard him throw up, you went after him. You didn’t know if he wanted to be alone now, but since he had asked you to stay, you simply ignored that thought and sank down on the floor beside him. When it happened again, your hand settled on his shoulder, testing the waters before you slowly stroked down his back further to give him a feeling of comfort. This went on for a few more minutes until he lifted his head and flushed it down.

“Feeling better?”

“Amazing.” he said, giving you a thumbs-up and smiling lazily, at which you snorted. When he sat down on the toilet and leaned his head against the wall, you got up to get him another glass of water.

“Thanks.” he said, drinking it all while you still struggled not to stare at his defined stomach and chest. Or to stare at where his white calvins were showing because his jeans weren’t zipped anymore. Making you look around the room instead.

“You’re pretty.” you looked at him again, brows drawn together to hide the blush that had somehow made its way onto your cheeks. He just sat there with a stupid grin on his face, his eyes didn’t once leaving your face.

“Aren’t you supposed to be less drunk after you puke?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be more honest when you’re drunk?” he countered, and you just rolled your eyes without thinking any more about his words. “Will you help me up?”, he held out his hands, whereupon you pulled him up as best you could. And no sooner was he on his feet than he stumbled to his bed with his eyes closed and dropped down on it. But he turned around once more and pulled his jeans off his legs so that he was only in his white calvins.

“Does it matter which of your guest rooms I sleep in?” He then raised his head, propped himself up on his elbows and looked at you frowning, whereupon you panicked a little, fearing that he didn’t want you to stay all night and that you had just misunderstood.

“You can stay here.”

“I’d rather sleep on a bed than on the floor, thank you.” you laughed sarcastically, but his expression was still the same.

“Here’s a bed.”

“But you’re in it—”

“So?” to prove his point he showed you the two separate pillows and put the duvet on the other side of the bed while he took the fluffy blanket that was at the foot of the bed and draped it over himself.

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm.” he hummed, “You can take my clothes to sleep in.” and with that he turned back onto his stomach, only seconds later you could hear soft snoring sounds coming from him, which you thought was kind of cute. You did as he said and went to his walk-in wardrobe to pull out a random black t-shirt, thinking you needed a pair of shorts to go with it too. But after you put it on, you realised that it reached mid-thigh, which was enough since it was incredibly hot inside and outside anyway.

Although you were still a little nervous, thinking that he might regret it if he woke up, you slipped into bed next to him anyway. But with enough distance so he didn’t feel uncomfortable or anything. Because of your stressful day, you quickly fell asleep to the sound of his breathing and snoring too.

#mason mount #mason mount fanfic #mason mount imagines #mason mount series #mason mount imagine #mason mount fluff #chelsea fc #england nt #chelsea imagine #england nt imagine #football imagine #football #fanfiction #oneshot #fluff

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animefans-stuff · 1 year

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Rules + Fandoms I write for.

What I'll write; fluff, angst, headcanons, one shots, platonic relationships, yanderes, suggestive themes.

What I won't write; actual nsfw, oc x reader, cheating, suicide, romantic adult x minor.

When requesting something please be specific but also keep it simple.

Please be kind, not only to me but other people and remember that some of the stuff I write (anything yandere related) is purely for entertainment only I don't support any of these actions in real life.

Please be patient when requesting something. I have a life outside of tumblr, and a terrible habit of procrastinating with certain things.

Remeber that I can say no to any requests I don't feel comfortable writing.

Fandom(s) I write for + who I write for.

Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two Face, Mr. Freeze, Joker, Harley Quinn, Killer croc, Victor Zsasz, Firefly

Outlast Whistleblower

Eddie Glunskin.

Black Butler

Grell, Undertaker, William T Spears, Othello, Ludger, Sascha, Snake, Ciel( platonic only!), Sebastian, Ronald Knox, Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries.

Hades (The Game)

Zagreus, Hypnos, Aphrodite, Ares, Athena, Artemis, Dionysus, Achilles, Patroclus, Chaos, Theseus, Charon, Thanatos, Orpheus, Eurydice, Demeter, Persephone and Hermes.

One Piece

Sir Crocodile, Enel, Mihawk, Boa Hancock, Eustass Kid, Killer, Wire, Heat, Donquixote Doflamingo, Viola, Monet, Corazon, Dellinger, Baby 5, Gladius, Caesar Clown, Law, Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Nico Robin, Van Augur, Laffitte, Ace and Nami.

Resident Evil

Ethan Winters, Karl Heisenberg, Lady Dimitrescu, Donna Benevento, Mother Miranda, Dimitrescu Daughters.

Dead By Daylight

The Wraith, The Huntress, Trickster, The Spirit, The Oni, The Doctor, The Legion, The Plague.

Record Of Ragnarok

Heimdall, Thor, Loki, Adam and Eve, Shiva, Parvati, Kali, Durga, Jack The Ripper, Brunhilde, Buddha, Odin, Aphrodite, Hermes, Ares, Forseti, Heracles and Hades.

#rules for writing #dc #outlast #black butler #one piece #hades the game #dead by deadlight #resident evil #record of ragnarok

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 10 months

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OK, FULL LIST OF ALL THE REQUESTS I HAVE AT THE MOMENT, UNDER THE CUT!!

"unspecified" just means the asker didn't specifically say "can I get headcanons/reaction/fic" for the request; there might be context in the request itself implying which type of content would be best suited for it, but it's not 100% specified

and my lil "??" denotes something where I think either a type of content or an AU might apply but, again, it's not specified so I'm not 100% sure but there's something in the request which makes me lean in a certain direction

it took nearly 3600 words just to describe all the things in the list so you guys got a lot to look forward to! ... and, obviously, I have a lot to look forward to creating! <3

requests that are done and in the queue ready to be posted (in no particular order)

headcanons: reacting to S/O in shorts and a tank top during the summer [Edgar; Gregory; Herman; Lawrence]

‘kisses’ meme: #45, sleepy kisses [Edgar; Gregory; Herman; Lawrence; Sebastian]

reaction: a goth horror-loving S/O [Sebastian]

reaction: S/O who likes to fawn over them [Sascha; Wolfram]

‘card suits’ meme: 4 of spades Alois; Doll/Freckles; Joanne; Maurice]

‘soft Sunday’ headcanon meme: favorite way to receive affection?; favorite way to give affection?; are they loud and proud about their relationships, or do they keep it private?; would your muse be the one doing most of the cooking or not?; is your muse good at housework? [Peter]

headcanons: progressive falling in love [Snake]

reaction: S/O who never curses [Peter]

requests that have not yet been done

reaction: S/O who likes to hug them a lot [Cheslock; Clayton; Edward; Joanne; MacMillan; Soma]

unspecified: S/O gets sick and almost dies [modern!Agni]

fic: reader empathizing with Cheslock and they comfort each other

reaction: modern person showing up at the manor with the earls’ revived siblings who has their soul back [Alois; Ciel; Sebastian]

reaction: (male) S/O saves them but loses his life [Doll/Freckles; Maurice]

unspecified: (fem) S/O who’s short and feisty but soft around him [Joker]

unspecified: reader escapes an arranged marriage and disguises themself as a man to work as a butler, meets Grell and they both get a crush; reader’s parents come back and try to force them home, Grell shows up to rescue and confess to them

reaction: domestic life [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

headcanons: male S/O [Ciel]

headcanons: poly [Joker x S/O x Dagger]

reaction: learning S/O is a member of a K-pop group [Grey; Phipps]

headcanons: NSFW [Agni]

headcanons: arranged fiancee who’s very bold and ready for marriage (is also friends with Gregory who’s smitten with them) [Lawrence]

unspecified: S/O who’s a witch and headmistress of an orphanage [William]

reaction: S/O dying and coming back as a ghost [Alan; Eric; Grell; Othello; Ronald; Rudger; Sascha; Undertaker; William]

reaction: what hobbies do they have/would like to have? [Alan; Eric; Grell; Othello; Ronald; Rudger; Sascha; Undertaker; William]

headcanons: first kiss [Bard; Finny; Mey Rin; Sebastian; Snake]

unspecified: (fem) S/O who works retail, he walks in on her getting scolded by the manager for no reason and he stands up for her [modern!Agni]

‘sense’ headcanon meme: heart; touch [Cheslock; Clayton; Edward; Joanne; Soma]

headcanons OR scenario: first child is born [Grey]

preference: who prefers a dominant S/O?

preference: who prefers a plus size S/O?

reaction: S/O knitting them something [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

audio: escaping yandere S/O [Maurice]

‘it’s all about the yearning’ meme: “I know I fucked up. I know I did but don’t shut me out anymore. Let me in, please let me in.” [Gregory]

audio: fluff [Agni]

‘it’s all about the yearning’ meme: “Have you ever had something missing? Like something just doesn’t feel right inside you but you don’t know what it is.” [Agni]

headcanons: domestic [Patrick]

headcanons: older sister figure [Alois]

headcanons: chaotic reader [Joanne]

unspecified: older sibling figure reader [Ciel]

headcanons: angst [Maurice]

reaction: snow leopard demon S/O [Bravat; Hannah; Joanne; Snake; Triplets]

headcanons: romantic and expecting father [Rudger]

unspecified: loud, energetic girlfriend [Lawrence]

reaction: being proposed to [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

‘sense’ headcanon meme: sight; nose; heart; hands [Dagger; Peter]

unspecified: dealing with a powerful witch [Ciel; Edward]

reaction: multilingual S/O [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

fic: Vincent x plus size (fem) reader who wears glasses (insecure day or taking her somewhere special]

unspecified: ADHD reader [Alois; Ciel; Edward; Grey; Undertaker]

‘kisses’ meme: 44, kissing every finger [Agni]

‘kisses’ meme: “free space” [Dagger; Peter; Snake]

unspecified: getting a handmade blanket from their S/O [Alois; Ciel; Edward]

unspecified: Cheslock crushing on a student rep from a collaborating girls’ academy

‘it’s all about the yearning’ meme: “Just let me look at you for a little bit.” [Agni]

scenario: Joker taking his S/O and twin daughters out to the current city they’re living in, the girls drag them into a candy shop

unspecified: plus size insecure S/O [Joker]

reaction: meeting a modern person with modern technology who shows them videos, etc. [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

unspecified: S/O who can shapeshift [Alois; Ciel]

unspecified: fluff [Alois]

scenario: S/O gives birth to their baby [Joker]

unspecified: protecting S/O on the Campania [Edward; Grey]

unspecified: trying to make a relationship work with limited time together [Wolfram]

headcanons: dealing with reader being sleep deprived [Cheslock and Gregory]

unspecified: S/O who makes (a very specific genre of) music as a coping mechanism [Alois; Astre; Ciel; Sebastian]

reaction: having to take care of their younger sibling [Cheslock; Clayton; Edgar; Edward; Gregory; Herman; Joanne; Lawrence; Soma]

fic: William x reader cooking together while he finally relaxes

fic: Wolfram x motherly reader singing lullabies to Sieglinde

unspecified: a day in Joker’s life taking care of baby Ellis, leading the circus, looking after his wife, and following Kelvin’s orders

unspecified: Beast x S/O training Betty after “The Sebastian Incident”

unspecified: NSFW, S/O’s first time and being gentle [Agni]

unspecified: S/O who can use death magic [Alois; Ciel]

fic: Soma rescuing reader from an abusive home after a relationship that starts with letters

‘card suits’ meme: 2 of spades; 3 of spades; 6 of diamonds; 8 of diamonds; ace of clubs; 3 of clubs; 4 of clubs; jack of clubs; queen of clubs; ace of hearts; 2 of hearts; 3 of hearts; 6 of hearts; 8 of hearts; 9 of hearts; queen of hearts; king of hearts [Peter]

fic: Ciel finding out his (male) S/O was part of the cult but was forced to participate

reaction: Undertaker, confronting his wife who’s responsible for the Phantomhive manor burning and the twins being in the cult, because she was jealous of his spending time with the Phantomhives

reaction: same-gender S/O [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

scenario: NSFW, bottom Joker x (male) S/O get interrupted

fic: Edward x reader (Ciel’s older sister) after Madame Red’s funeral

reaction to the scene [Bard; Ciel; Finny; Lizzie; Mey Rin; Sebastian]

headcanons: NSFW [Rudger]

unspecified: planning an engagement party with his S/O [Grey]

love letter: Grell

fic: soulmate AU, time freezes when you and your soulmate are in a room together for the first time and unfreezes when you make eye contact [Sebastian]

reaction: soulmate AU, everyone is born with a tattoo which glows when you meet your soulmate and fades to grey when they die, reader’s was grey from birth but starts to glow one day [Alan; Eric; Grell; Othello; Ronald; Rudger; Sascha; Undertaker; William]

free space! any character, concept, anything!

headcanons: with a tall angel-killing witch S/O [Grey]

fic: Arthur Conan Doyle x reader, she goes to his residence to invite him to The Event because Ciel thought he’d be more relaxed with a date

headcanons: big boobed girlfriend who lets them use her breasts as a pillow when they cuddle [Edgar; Gregory; Herman; Lawrence]

headcanons: big boobed girlfriend who lets them use her breasts as a pillow when they cuddle [Cheslock; Clayton; Edward; Joanne; Soma]

unspecified: enemies to lovers, fox demon future S/O [William]

audio: Terms of Service AU [Peter; Snake]

unspecified: crow or cat hybrid S/O [Alois; Ciel]

fic: Finny spending the day with his baby boy

unspecified: Derrick x S/O who tries (and succeeds) at helping him be a better person

unspecified: poly [Edward x (male) S/O x Cheslock]

headcanons: pole [Joker x S/O x Sebastian]

audio: Joanne being kissed and cuddled

unspecified: S/O from the future [Aleister]

unspecified: interested in a servant working at the Phantomhive manor [Aleister]

scenario: the one(s) Ciel wants revenge on is/are dead already, how Ciel and his soulmate feel and how Sebastian reacts

audio: Grell x listener, listener gets home late and Grell jumps on them, having been worried

scenario: soulmate AU, Aleister meets (fem) S/O at an auction ball, things are dull before they meet but then they make eye contact and he buys her

fic: Maurice x reader, after his exposure no one else wants to associate with him and they comfort him after he’s bullied

unspecified: S/O who suddenly gets sick and he’s frustrated that he can’t help her [Agni]

reaction: S/O getting catcalled [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

sex + romance headcanon meme: 💦; 😘; 😊; 👍; 😉; 💯; 👰; 🌼; 🏩; 🎆; 💕; 🔥; 💑; 👀; 👎; 💲; 🎀; 💝; 💘 [Peter]

audio: fluffy, waking up next to him in the morning and getting breakfast together [Dagger]

unspecified: S/O who wears comfy clothes when they get sad (which is frequently) [Alois; Astre; Ciel; Maurice]

reaction: S/O getting shot, they survive but it’s still serious [Alois; Ciel; Edward; Grell; Grey; Ronald]

headcanons: monsterfucker Peter with a beast-like monster S/O

audio: confession [Snake]

fic: reader is a new addition to the circus troupe and saves a snake from being tormented by hecklers [Snake]

fic: Sebastian x maid!reader, reader is usually obedient but decides to test Sebastian’s patience and receives a cheek grab and voice shift to his ‘true’ voice

preferences: which boys would like bath bombs/what kind?

Fic: Snake x (fem) reader, reader lets the snakes do whatever they want, climbing on her, etc., and one day comes to Snake for help because one of the snakes (or more?!) is stuck under her clothes

fic: platonic Grell and child reader fluff

reaction: S/O with chronic allergies [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

headcanons: Terms of Service AU, relationship with app owner [Maurice]

reaction: Terms of Service AU, playing FNAF [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

headcanons: killers in a horror movie [Alois; Ciel; Doll/Freckles; Maurice]

reaction: child reader who’s disabled and doesn’t ‘fit in’, they befriend the circus troupe, then the troupe find out reader has ‘normal’ friends who care for and help reader as well as do friends’ parents and when asked just say, “isn’t that what friends do?” [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

‘things you want to hear’ meme: “I feel like I can tell you anything” and “you know what I love about you?” [Peter]

headcanons: S/O has kids from a previous marriage [Doll/Freckles; Peter; Snake]

unspecified: Trancy nurse survival AU, multilingual reader who scolds the Triplets in another language when they purposely get themselves into mishaps

audio: listener comforting Maurice after a nightmare

audio: angst [Maurice]

unspecified: demon AU, with a human S/O [Beast; Bravat; Doll/Freckles; Grey; Phipps]

headcanons: platonic, someone in the form who’s the ‘fixer’, an inventor who inadvertently creates messes [Edgar; Gregory; Herman; Lawrence]

fic: Phantomhive servants and maid!reader who’s the newest addition, they all throw her a surprise birthday party

unspecified: inventor S/O [Grey]

unspecified: angst [Grey]

unspecified: S/O who’s insecure about not being a proper lady [Grey]

unspecified: poly [John x S/O x Phipps]

headcanons OR scenario: Cheslock’s little brother coming to Weston

unspecified: doctor S/O, fluff and wholesomeness [Peter]

unspecified: doctor S/O who surprises him by wearing nothing but her white coat [Peter]

songfic: “Love Story” by Taylor Swift [Dagger OR Peter]

‘eyes emoji’ meme: eyes [Peter]

audio: fluff, listener just getting home after being away for a while [Alois OR Ciel]

unspecified: Hispanic S/O who thinks his accent is sexy [Peter]

unspecified: trying to cheer up his grumpy S/O with bad jokes [Joker]

unspecified: on a stroll with their girlfriend and she jumps in a river to save a child in danger [Alois; Ciel; Edward; Grey]

unspecified: comforting their girlfriend who lost her niece in an accident [Edward; Grey; Ronald; Undertaker]

audio: date night or Christmas, wholesome [Peter]

songfic meme: “Leave Out All the Rest” by Linkin Park [Alois]

songfic meme: “I Wouldn’t Mind” by (S)He is We [Maurice]

unspecified: S/O who sings or hums while they’re giving him massages [Jumbo]

unspecified: S/O walking in on the scene where Joker touches Beast’s leg from behind

audio: Terms of Service [Dagger, Finny, OR Wendy]

unspecified: S/O who writes music dedicated to him [Peter]

headcanons: as fathers [Dagger; Joker; Jumbo; Peter]

‘things that you want to hear’ meme: “I missed you” [Dagger] and “you’re my favorite person in the world” [Peter]

headcanons: wealthy S/O who spoils them out of love [Dagger; Peter]

audio: Valentine’s Day [Dagger OR Peter]

unspecified: S/O who’s always tired and works a lot, and finally they get to spend time together [Grell]

unspecified: badass Mey Rin in a bind

‘105 comfort’ meme: “you’re perfect just the way you are” [Peter]

‘105 comfort’ meme: “you’re allowed to be weak” [Jumbo]

‘105 comfort’ meme: “I’ll take care of it” [Peter]

unspecified: NSFW, artist boyfriend [Grey]

unspecified: (fem) S/O who’s wealthy and likes to spoil him [Dagger]

unspecified: (fem) S/O who composes a theme for him as a gift [Finny]

unspecified: (fem) S/O who’s a child psychologist [Wolfram]

songfic: “That Would Be Enough” from Hamilton [Dagger OR Peter]

headcanons: reader from the 21st century [Edgar]

reaction: S/O learning Latin so they can dirty talk to him [Sebastian]

unspecified: reader getting frustrated with homework and trying to help them [Lawrence]

songfic meme: “I Choose” by Alessia Cara [Jumbo OR Snake]

unspecified: AFAB nonbinary reader sneaks into Weston and befriends the P4 [besties with Gregory; falls for Edgar]

unspecified: confident and badass S/O, SFW and NSFW [John]

‘nonverbal’ meme: “beat”, “kiss”, and “loop” [Finny]

‘headcanons part 3’ meme: 🫀,🏉; 💥; 👓; 💍; 🏛; 🧭; 🚓; 🧬; 📖; 🤱; ⏰; 🚌; 🥀; 👊; 🩹; 🌊; 🏭; ⚰️; 🦁; 🔒; ⛓ [Peter]

fic: platonic, angel!reader saves Alois from being killed by Claude and gives him his happy ending as a mother figure

reaction: Doll/Freckles, playing horror games with her S/O

audio: cuddling [Soma]

reaction: reader confessing to an affair… but the ‘confession’ is a joke [Ciel; Doll/Freckles; Joanne; Maurice]

unspecified: platonic sisterly reader (lullaby?) [Doll/Freckles]

reaction: taking care of their S/O after a serious carriage accident [Bard; Ciel; Edward; Finny; Grey; Ronald; Undertaker]

songfic: “Heaven’s Light” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame [Doll/Freckles]

unspecified: girlfriend who brings him breakfast in bed on special occasions [Dagger]

unspecified: Bard x reader

unspecified: S/O who doesn’t drink alcohol [Peter]

unspecified: S/O who likes to cuddle and will sometimes tackle-hug them [Finny; Ronald; Snake; Undertaker]

palette meme: #39, “Absinthe Mage” [Peter]

preference: who would be okay ‘meeting the parents’?

songfic: “Hacerte Mía” by La Ross Maria and Nino Freestyle [Dagger OR Finny]

songfic meme: “Sea of Lovers” by Christina Perri [Dagger]

songfic: “Sneakin’ Around” from Star vs. the Forces of Evil [Dagger]

unspecified: S/O who works as a stand-up comedian [Undertaker]

unspecified: multilingual S/O who mumbles “I love you” in another language (with pet name) while cuddling [Dagger; Peter; Snake]

reaction: S/O studies psychology and will teach if asked [Beast; Dagger; Doll/Freckles; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake; Wendy]

unspecified: Southern/Texan S/O who’s good at cooking [Bard]

unspecified: S/O who’s strong and protective [Peter]

fic: Joker x reader, reader is Doc’s apprentice and a good person trying to learn, they end up seeing Joker a lot and things develop

fic: based on the “guess again” scene from Game of Thrones [Peter]

reaction: S/O surprises them by adopting an orphan [Ciel; Edward; Grey; Phipps; Undertaker]

unspecified: S/O on the autism spectrum [Peter]

unspecified: S/O who’s a jazz and blues singer at a high-end establishment [Bard; Ciel; Finny; Mey Rin; Sebastian; Snake]

unspecified: walking in on (fem) S/O on a phone call and overhears her praising him to her family [Peter]

audio: Terms of Service AU [Dagger; Peter]

‘things that you want to hear’ meme: “there’s my beautiful bride” OR “I’m the luckiest man alive” [Beast; Wendy]

‘things that you want to hear’ meme: “I can’t stop thinking about you” OR “last night was incredible” [Peter]

songfic: “Remember Me”/“Recuérdame” from Coco [any character]

fic: survival AU (Safe & Sound AU?) Dagger x (fem) S/O reminding him that he’s important and enough

fic: angsty pining and fluff, reader is a big younger and pining for him, he thinks they should find someone younger [Bard]

unspecified: Phantomhive staff training ready to defend the manor

fic: reader fights Wolfram with Bard while escaping and they share angsty dialogue during the fight, then they start to grow closer again after Wolfram’s sacrifice

fic: anything [Undertaker]

unspecified: platonic, singing to the birds in the garden [Finny]

songfic: “Love Story” by Taylor Swift [Finny]

headcanons: Cheslock, any thoughts not already mentioned

reaction: fiancee being a witch [Edward]

headcanons: S/O who’s cheery around him but not so cheery around others [William]

reaction: (fem) S/O who’s hypermobile with knee problems [Dagger; Finny; Peter]

fic (??): visiting (fem) S/O at work but she’s dealing with nasty customers [modern!Agni]

scenario: fluff, S/O who loves baking [Snake]

unspecified: being a single parent [Bravat]

headcanons: reader who uses a (personalized!) cane to walk because of an accident [Alois; Ciel]

‘botantical’ headcanon meme: abatina; amaryllis; anemone; chrysanthemum; gardenia; heliotrope; hibiscus; ivy; marigold; peony; rose [Peter]

‘botanical’ headcanon meme: anemone; chamomile; daisy [Cheslock]

headcanons: wedding details [Grey]

fic: he comes to the hospital after reader gets hit by a car (fluffy ending) [modern!Agni]

‘botanical’ headcanon meme: amaryllis; hibiscus; ivy [Dagger; Joker]

reaction: (fem) S/O who’s an opera singer [Dagger; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake]

reaction: hypermobile (fem) S/O’s joints start clicking and popping as they’re sleeping next to her for the first time [Dagger; Joker; Jumbo; Peter; Snake]

unspecified: adjusting to each other’s tastes and traditions [modern!Agni]

unspecified: keeping their relationship with (male) S/O a secret [Ciel; Joanne]

reaction: selectively mute S/O who owns a sassy, filthy-mouthed macaw [Cheslock; Grey; Phipps; Snake; Triplets]

unspecified: hypermobile (fem) S/O who goes to the doctor for knee problems and then buys him something nice [Peter]

reaction: hypermobile (fem) S/O with knee problems [Agni; Soma]

‘gemstone’ headcanon meme: amazonite; apatite; cat’s eye; citrine; diamond; diopside; emerald; fluorite; iolite; jasper; kyanite; onyx; opal; peridot; rose quartz; spinel; tiger’s eye; tourmaline; zircon [Peter]

reaction: helping their hypermobile (fem) S/O with physical therapy exercises [Bard; Ciel; Finny; Sebastian; Snake]

fic: continuation of modern!reader telling the future in riddles [Alois and Ciel]

reaction: friend/companion bringing (Astre/Luka) back to life [Alois; Ciel]

reaction: hypermobile (fem) S/O with knee problems [Grey; Lau; Phipps]

‘kiss & tell’ prompts: finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for; neck kisses that turn into love bites; wiping away your lover’s tears as you kiss them; a kiss while being reunited after a long time; kissing your lover in a moment of sheer joy; a kiss to wake you lover up in the morning; kissing your partner to seal a marriage; a risky kiss between forbidden lovers; a possessive kiss in front of a jealous third party [Peter]

‘kiss & tell’ prompts: a kiss to shut them up [Peter]

‘kiss & tell’ prompts: a possessive kiss to stake a claim [Lau]

unspecified: helping reader through a bad panic attack [modern!Agni]

‘settings’ prompts: 029, an extravagant greenhouse [Finny OR Snake]

reaction: hypermobile (fem) S/O with knee problems [Edgar; Gregory; Herman; Lawrence]

unspecified: moving house and it’s stressful but they’re still sweet to each other [Agni]

unspecified (fic??): (male) Reaper S/O, fluff, long day ends in stargazing and S/O falling asleep [William]

scenario: shy fem S/O [MacMillan]

scenario: having to escort his S/O to a graveyard at night for some reason [Grey]

headcanons: life before the troupe, birth family, etc. [Jumbo]

headcanons: NSFW [Jumbo]

headcanons: modern (what he usually does after uni, how he flirts, etc.) [Cheslock]

headcanons: scientist friend brings Luka back as a surprise [Alois]

headcanons: angsty, he discovers a horrible and ugly secret of reader’s [Maurice]

audio: helping hypermobile (fem) S/O with knee problems [Peter]

headcanons: when Anne gets sick vs. when her children get sick (Safe & Sound AU)

headcanons: cuddling [Jumbo]

audio: watching a documentary about London’s kidnapped children with Listener (Terms of Service AU??) [Doll/Freckles]

headcanons: hurt/comfort about family relationships [Ciel; Doll/Freckles; Joanne; Maurice]

‘stonework’ headcanons: rosy haze; touch; fog [Peter]

‘cupcake’ picrew meme: Peter

‘cupcake’ picrew meme: Dagger; Joker

‘tea’ picrew meme: Peter

‘stonework’ headcanons meme: coral fragments; brickwork shadows [Dagger; Peter; Snake]

‘stonework’ headcanons meme: apatite tic; chatter [Dagger; Peter; Snake]

#mod post #request list #AYYYYY #the second list I had to break up bc apparently Tumblr has a 4096 per 'block' character limit???#wild BUT ANYWAY!!!

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mrsrookhunt · 2 years

Text

The Human I fell In Love With

Ludger X Reader

PT. 1

TW: SUICIDE MENTIONS, ABUSE, VIOLENT MC DEATH, IMPLIED SEXUAL ABUSE, BLOOD&GORE AND ONE VERY ANGSTY REAPER

Ludger sighed, shivering in the cold air. He'd been asked to transfer to the American branch of dispatch for the week to make up for the lack of staff, due to a mass wave of sickness knocking many reapers out of commission.

Although he didn't particularly like work, he didn't mind the change of scenery. What he did mind was that Sascha was all alone at their apartment, which he was sure by now was a complete and utter wreck of broken glass, burnt cooking and dirty clothes.

He checked his phone again.

Somehow, not receiving any correspondence from the tiny reaper was much more unnerving.

He checked his watch. Two more retrivals before the night was done. Already midnight and pitch-black, it was almost impossible to see as he walked down a white, sandy beach for his next soul; a young girl at a beach house with her family.

He coughed in the dry air, relishing that no one was around to hear him and shy away. He hummed a bit to himself, ensuring he was hidden from human view as he came closer to a small, stand-alone pier-and-beam house overlooking the shore.

He could hear laughter and silly jokes; the sounds of game pieces being thrown back into their boxes and glasses clinked.

Checking his watch again, he discerned he had twenty minutes more to wait for the 23-year-old's untimely demise. Just enough to smoke a cigarette or two and dip his feet in the water.

Unlike Sascha, he hated reaping with a passion. Not because it was gruesome or gory; no, he was used to that. But because it was so much work. He had found the best way to cope was simply to enjoy the scenery as much as he could. It had been a little dull to reap solely in Germany after a while; he had to admit that America was a nice change of pace. He only had two more days to stay, anyway. No point in getting cozy. Just enough to get a taste of traveling.

His watch chimed its alarm, signaling he had two minutes before it was time to reap the soul.

He briefly glanced over the files, mildly surprised.

Beaten to death, he thought with a small, numbed amount of shock. In such a jovial family? It seemed unlikely, but everyone had their darksides. Only thirty seconds to go. He could look at her records to see what happened anyway.

As if on cue, the mild argument he'd heard over the last few minutes turned into a cacophony of screaming from multiple people, none being more pained than the girl shrieking out in agony as a wooden chair was bashed against her head.

He jumped to the open window sill.

Quite convenient, he thought with a little laugh. Some households you had to all but break in to get the soul.

She made eye contact with him for a brief second, terror and realization of what he was there for striking her in the last millisecond to her bloody death.

Ludger's shoulders slumped. She was a pretty girl, one he would normally have taken out if not for her imminent demise.

Her family left her there, to restrain the father that had beaten her and to call the parade of ambulances that would never be able to save her.

He hopped in nimbly, landing in a sticky pool of blood. By some miracle her fingers twitched as she made an effort to lift her torso up, to Ludger's immense shock.

"E-excuse me??" He stuttered, voice weak with anticipation of her actions. The dead don't magically come back to life. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?!" He checked her file in vain, knowing with total certainty that he was not incorrect.

"Please do something for me. I... know you can't save me." Her voice was slurred and blood pooled like a curtain in front of her eyes. Her fingers were ghostly white with the strength she was using to hold herself up, hair fanned out across her back, ends dragging through the blood.

His hands shook with the horror of what he was seeing. "Y-yes??"

"Plea--Se!" She finally gave up her fight with the ground, falling onto her side. "S-ave my sisters." She was gasping for breath.

"You had to see," she whispered, "what my father does to us. That's not the worst, either. I've been protecting them. Without me they'll end up just as mangled. Please... protect them however you can." Her voice was unmistakably choked with blood now. Although she could not physically look at him, Ludger could feel the desperation radiating off of her. It was comparable to the desperation he felt to die on the day that he finally gave up living in his sad, miserable human life.

He regained some composition.

"I'll make a deal with you.." He spoke quickly, knowing that unless she was saved now she'd die in the next two or so minutes. "I'll let you live to protect them as I cannot, if you marry me." He stated, realizing the stupidity of his own words only after he blurted them out.

She was silent for a moment.

Has she already died? He wondered briefly.

"Aughh...I'll t-ake your offer." She turned onto her back, gasping for any sort of breath.

Ludger rushed to her side, albeit still mentally scolding himself for the absolutely impossible deal that he had just set. Now he was tied down, quite literally burdened by a small, fragile human who he'd need to jump through Innumerable hoops to keep by his side.

He worked on healing her punctured lungs with his own blood, which held a surprising amount of healing qualities. A small bit of CPR was all that was needed to remove the rest of the blood. As soon as her breathing became clearer, he began working on her head. Her skull was fractured in so many places, he wasn't entirely sure he could even fix her as promised.

He'd only heard stories of shinigami saving humans, anyway.

He slowly repaired each and every crack until she was in visibly less pain. He caressed her hair, which was bloody and slightly sea-salt smelling. She nuzzled back into his touch, showing no signs of pain, and certainly not the agony he'd seen earlier.

He sighed, leaning back against the wall harboring the window he'd come in through.

Running his bloodied hands uncaringly through his hair, he locked eyes with her. She stared back, the intensity of his bright chartruse eyes giving her some sort of curious delight. Although clearly worn out, she sidled up to him.

"What do we do now?" She whispered, her voice still a little raw from screaming. She sat next to him with her head leaned on his shoulder. "Thank you for saving me,by the way."

"Hmmph. I don't know what to do with you know," He said irritably, taking her aback. She hadn't experienced the harsher side to his personality yet. He shoved her off more roughly then her honestly intended. He stood up, stretching his aching muscles. This was far more taxing than a regular reaping.

"Don't expect me to care about you that much. I see death all the time. You're hardly special, you know."

Except, in his mind, she was. Never in his 354 years had he ever experienced someone so determined to live that they simply kept.. living. He'd have to research it. For now, she was safe enough. Alive, at least. He could deal with the rest of it when he got some sleep and regained enough composure to fully comprehend what he had just agreed to.

..Oh, Y/n...don't you die on me.

He groaned, exiting the house without another word as the girl's family members flocked around her with medical staff.

He was going to have one hell of a time explaining this to Sascha.

#black butler #kuroshitpost #kuroshitsuji #yana toboso #undertaker #ludger x reader #x reader imagines #x reader #x character #black butler fanfic #fanfictions #fanfic #death #angst #sascha #ludger

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ace-culture-is · 1 year

Note

Would it be fine with you if reader has a crush and you settle on a QPR? -Hellspawn anon

Sure!

#x reader #hellspawn anon #not ace culture #asking an ace #sascha speaks up

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13folklore13 · 2 years

Text

Absolutely devoted to you

Erwin Smith x fem!reader

Warnings: a little smutty (i dont know how i feel about this)

a/n: i recently wrote this for a friend of mine and now i thought why not post it on here as well. Please excuse any grammar mistakes etc. English isn’t my first language. This is also my first Erwin ff ever so please bare with me and tell me what you think!

As you opened the door, a light breeze welcomed you. You stood there in the doorframe, your hand still on the doorknob and looked around. It was already late at night, but the moonlight lit up the entire office. There was a feeling of discomfort inside of you. Something that wanted to stop you from stepping foot into the office. You turned around to look down the hallway. This is my only chance, you thought and stepped into the room. You closed the door behind you, careful not to make any sounds. When the door closed, silence filled the room. The room that was once filled with laughter, joy, and warmth. The room once welcomed you like a warm embrace. But now there was no laughter or joy or a warm embrace. Even though everything still looked the same, nothing felt familiar. His books were still sitting neatly in the bookshelf. His desk was still filled with papers he needed to read. And in the back of the room stood his made bed. But all his books haven’t been read in a while, the papers on his desk were coated with a layer of dust and his bed looked like it hasn’t been used in ages.

You were still standing at the door. You didn’t dare to move. No one else was in his office, however you still looked for him. Just for something of him. You walked towards the centre of the room and wrapped your arms around your middle. Someone was here before you and opened a window. That must be the reason I can’t smell him. You went to his bookshelf and pulled out a book. Ironically it landed on that book.

“Erwin, why do you have that book in your bookshelf?”, you laughed and turned towards his desk where he was sitting, “Never took you for a poetry lover.” You flicked through the book that was familiar to you. “And why is that?”, he walked towards you and leaned against the shelf. “I just never thought you could dedicate your heart to something else than to the survey corps”, you teased him and turned one of the pages. You paused as you saw a little note at the end of the page. Her favourite. It was your favourite poem. You looked up to him, to find him already looking at you with his ice blue eyes. You lifted the book and said, “You knew what my favourite poem was? How?” He scratched the back of his neck and let out a low chuckle. You gasped. Erwin Smith was flustered. “Sascha told me”, confusion painted your face. None of your friends knew that you and Erwin shared feelings for each other. He requested to keep your relationship private as long as the world was cruel. “Well, she didn’t exactly tell me, but I overheard you guys talking about your favourite poem and the way Sascha worded it, it seemed that you already told her about that poem a million times. That’s why I thought, when it really means that much to you, I should read it.” You were stunned. You grew quite used to hearing Sascha and the others complaining about you none stop talking about it. But to hear that someone would genuinely be interest into something you loved so dearly overwhelmed you quite a bit. “I – well, I didn’t expect that”, you stuttered, and Erwin tilted his head. “You do realise that I care for you deeply, do you? It’s just fair that I care about your interest as deeply as you care about mine.” You had no words. If you hadn’t realised his love to you, you did now. You put the book at its place again and moved forward to wrap your arms around him. His arms closed behind your back, and he pressed you to his chest. His forehead met yours and you inhaled his scent. “Thank you, Erwin.”

Water dropped onto the pages of the book and that’s when you realised that you started crying. You dried the pages with your arm and wiped away your tears. But your lips started to quiver. Your eyes filled with tears again as your body felt insanely cold. You hugged the book close to your chest. You tilted your head back and let out a few hasty breaths. A strong breeze made you shiver and look back at the window. You put the book back at its place again and moved to the window. “Who opened this fucking window”, you whispered and closed the window and the curtain. You puffed out a sigh and turned to face the room again. But your eye drifted to the right. You closed your eyes again, debating if you should just leave his office and end the torture, but as you were thinking about it, you already sank down on the bed.

It felt the same, even after months. Your hands brushed over the bed sheets and stopped when you felt something paper like under the sheets. You lifted the sheets and pulled out a sheet of paper. Once your eyes drifted over it, you closed them and pressed the piece of parchment paper against your chest. Tears streamed down your cheeks again as your back met the mattress.

“Can’t this wait”, Erwin grunted, pressed a pillow on his face. It was 1 am when you entered his office to share the night. All Erwin wanted to do was to press you against his chest, to feel your warmth, your breath, your kisses, your touch- “Of course not! This is the perfect moment for this”, you exclaimed and straddled his lap, your night gown rid up. You removed the pillow and flew it across the room, accidentally knocking his papers from his desk. “sorry”, you chuckled quietly, earning a grunt as an answer. “Alright”, he sighed and put his arms behind his head, his muscular chest now flexing, “what do you want to show me.” But all you could do was stare at him. “You still there?”, he laughed, and you rolled his eyes and slapped his broad chest. “Oh shut it.” You stretched your arms behind you, to grab your jacket and Erwins hands gripped your hips, to usure you that you wouldn’t fall off him, of course. When your hands grabbed the jacket, you pulled it towards you and grabbed the desired paper. You let the jacket fall of the bed, pressed the paper to your chest and grinned brightly at Erwin, who was looking at you with raised eyebrows. “So, it’s not perfect, but I’ve worked really hard on it and-“, you felt his hands squeeze your hips. “I’m sure I will love it.” The assuring smile he gave you clamed you down. You returned his smile and gave him the paper. His hands left your hips and took the paper from you. His mouth gasped open, and his eyes switched from the paper to your flustered face. He looked back at the paper where he saw the both of you sitting next to each other. Your bodies were turned to each other with your knees touching. Your hands were placed in your lap and Erwin’s hands were holding them. Both of you were wearing civilian clothes, something he had never seen you in before. “w-what is this”, he couldn’t believe what he saw.

You wrung your hands and a blushed creeped up on your cheeks. “Well, I thought, because we cannot go to get our real portrait done, that I would draw one for us. You could also see it as a promise: When all of this is done, we’ll get a real one done for us, in civilian clothes and everything”, a chuckle escaped your mouth. Erwin wanted to marry you right then and there. He has never met anyone who devoted him as much as you do. And deep down he knew that he would never be deserving of your love. He knew that he couldn’t promise you what you wanted, even if he wanted it to become true. He glanced at it one last time before he dropped it on his bedside table. He sat up and wrapped his arms around you. Your hands found his hair and brushed through them, “I assume you like it.” He cupped your cheeks and pulled you away from him so that he could look into your eyes. He wanted to say something. He wanted to thank you, to tell you that he would cherish it until he takes his last breath. But no words left his mouth. Everything he wanted to say, never left his mouth. So, before he could tear up, he pressed his lips on yours and tangled his hands in your hair. Your breath got stuck in your throat. The man who was known for his speeches couldn’t say anything to you. All he could give to you, was his love. And you accepted it gratefully.

Your lips moved in sync. His tongue dancing with yours. His hands pulled slightly at your hair, so that he could tilt your head back. His lips found your neck and kissed you so lightly, you begging desperately for more. His lips travelled up to your ear, kissing it and whispering, “Thank you.” One of his hands cupped your cheek as the other grabbed your hip. In a smooth motion, he turned the both of you around so that he was hovering over you. You gazed into his depth of blue sapphire, and he couldn’t help but smile as he looked right back at you. He closed the distance between you to so that his lips would slightly touch yours. “Do you know that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me?”, he breathed and pecked your lips just for a second. He took your hands and pinned your arms above you. His hands were sliding down your arms, making you shiver. As his hands moved down your sides, his lips trailed down your neck to your collarbones. Kissing every part of you. “Do you know that I would do everything for you”, he said as he caressed that one sensitive spot on your neck. You hummed in response and closed your eyes in anticipation. You could feel him lift your night gown. When you opened your eyes, you could see him staring at you. Like you were his most sacred possession. He tore his eyes from you when he felt your hands traveling up his chest. As your hands met his cheeks, he closed his eyes and leaned into your warmth. You pulled him towards you. Yours and his face centimetres away from each other. He opened his eyes again and pressed his forehead against yours. Both of you holding eye contact as his body interwind with yours, a moan escaping from both of your mouths. His hands held onto your hips as yours caressed his cheeks. Your bodies moving so perfectly together, like they were made for each other, like an old dance they’ve memorized. His hands travelled up and down your sides, making you giggle. “That tickles”, you breathed and earned a low chuckle from Erwin, his hands grabbing your neck. He leaned in closer to you so that his nose brushed yours. He moved his nose up and down the bridge of yours, inhaling your scent. “You are so good to me”, he says, both of you becoming breathless. You placed your lips on his and whispered against them, “Because you make me good, Erwin”, you panted as his body moved faster. He wrapped his arms around you as he pressed himself closer to you, “I’m..”, he whispered and you nodded in return, “Me too.” When you looked up at his eyes, you could feel the knot in your stomach growing stronger and stronger as you closed your eyes again pressing your head into the pillow, welcoming the overwhelming feeling that overtook you. As he reached his high, you could hear him whisper, “I am absolutely devoted to you.”

“Oh god”, you cried as you buried your face into his pillow. You thought that you could survive this. That you could live a life without him, but even after months of trying you failed. You would usually try again right after you failed a training session or would prepare better for a expedition. And at first you tried to wake up everyday with a good feeling. That today would be the day you could go without breaking down. But you failed every day. It haunted you that he could’ve been saved. That he could have been the one to receive the serum instead of Armin. And you felt horrible whishing that Armin would be the one who died. But waking up every day without him, moving forward without him, people slowly forgetting him or replacing him broke you. It haunted you that you couldn’t give him a proper funeral, that you couldn’t mourn in public. You thought that visiting his office could give you some peace, but every corner of his room remined you of the things you both never got to experience together.

Then suddenly the door to his office opened, making you jump from his bed. “Hange!”, you exclaimed. They instantly stood still when they saw you. “y/n! I didn’t expect you here”, they said, clearly stunned to see you. You let out a few chuckles and moved towards them. “Oh, you know, when I crossed the hallways, I heard the window making some weird sounds so I thought that I would check on it and surprise, surprise the window was open”, you stammered. You stood in front of Hange now and were glad that the room was to dark to see your face, “But now it’s closed so I will go now, good night Hange!”, you smiled and tried to pass them as they grabbed your arm. Your breath got stuck as you faced them. They were looking down as they said, “He told me.” Hange now lifted their head to look straight into your eyes, “Erwin told me about you two before he died.” Tears started to glitter in your eyes. “He did?”, you whispered. Hanges’s hand was now on your arm as they brushed it comforting. They nodded, “He asked me to look after you.” Your lips started to quiver. “I always thought that you’d cope well with his death.” You shook your head as your tears started to stream down your face. “I- I”, you cried, “I can’t breathe.” Hange’s arms flew around you as they hugged you tightly. Even if you whished to be embraced by a different commander, you felt like that they were send to you at the perfect time. As if someone was watching over you.

#snk erwin #erwin x y/n #erwin smut #erwin smith #erwin smith imagine #erwin smith x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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maxinaptak · 3 years

Text

(AoT/ SNK) Key to Salvation: Eren X Abused!Reader

WARNING: REFRENCED NON-CON, FORCED DRUG USE

This is a rough one you guys. Proceed with caution.

You groaned as you rubbed the fairly fresh bruise on your shoulder, letting your head fall against the locker in front of you. The bruise on your shoulder wasn’t the only one you had; in fact, you had several more, both new and old, littering your body. You groaned again as you heard your best friend’s voice coming down the hallway. You lifted your head off your locker and pulled your sweater sleeve down your arm more, making sure it covered your bruise and the needle marks.

“________,” Eren called loudly, causing you to cringe lightly at his volume, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

He stopped next to you and looked at you with such innocent turquoise eyes. Oh, how you loved those innocent eyes. You could never tell Eren about what was going on at home. You just couldn’t.

“I was sick, that’s all,” you lied, faking a smile up at the boy, “Just a little cold. I'm fine now though.”

It almost pained you physically to lie to him, but how could you tell him that you had spent the last three days being given drugs against your will in a dirty basement where dozens of men abused your strung out, limp body while your mother collected their payment.

“Well, I'm glad you’re feeling better!” Eren said, smiling brightly.

You smiled almost sadly and sighed. Eren was your sweet, caring best friend. He had been since you were both in diapers. Fifteen years of friendship and you still couldn’t tell him what was happening; couldn’t tell him that you need help, beg for his help.

“Eren, will you lower your voice? I can hear you all the way down the hallway.” Mikasa, Eren’s adopted sister, said, flicking the brunet in the ear.

“Ow!” He cried, cupping his assaulted ear.

She rolled her eyes and looked at you.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better ________,” Mikasa asked, frowning, “You look more tired than normal.”

You faked another smile and said, “Yep, just fine!”

In all reality, you were going through a nasty withdraw from the clonazepam and oxy your mother normally gave you. This last time, she decided to give you something else to sedate you through your ‘work’, something she injected several times into your veins over the days. You had a feeling that if anyone would notice something was off, it would be Mikasa.

The other girl didn’t look too convinced, but nodded anyway and said, “If you say so. It’s almost time for class to start, so we should get going. You too Eren. If you’re late again, mom will have your ass.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes and hugged you goodbye. You tried your hardest to hide your pained flinch as he squeezed you tightly, but you knew Mikasa had seen it. Once he left, Mikasa set her hard gaze on you again.

“I saw that,” she said, crossing her arms, “What was that about?”

“Ok, so I may have hurt my back trying a new yoga pose yesterday. But I wasn’t gonna tell him that.” You said, jutting your thumb in the direction Eren had left in.

It wasn’t a total lie this time. Your back did hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t from doing yoga. Your slightly older friend rolled her eyes and turned to head to your first hour class. You quickly ran after her, trying your best not to limp. You reached your AP Psychology class and took your seats. Your teacher had the desks in clusters of six or seven seats and you two got lucky enough to be put with your friends.

“Hey guys.” You said, plopping your book down onto your desk.

Krista, Ymir, Sascha, and Max all smiled back and greeted you both. You made small talk for a few minutes before the bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. You turned your attention to your teacher, Mr. O’Neil, and swallowed hard when you saw what he was writing on the board.

Drug Addiction: The effects, the signs, and withdrawal symptoms.

‘Fuck my life with a cactus….’ You thought, slowly sliding down in your seat a little.

You prayed to whatever god there may be (though you didn’t really believe that there was one anymore) that none of your friends, especially Mikasa, would notice that you were exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms.

You had managed to make it through the class with your teeth clenched and practically sprinted out of the room when it was over. You made it to your economics class in record time and slumped into your seat, letting your head slam down on your desk.

“Damn kid, rough morning?”

You slowly raised your head to look at your student teacher, Levi Ackerman. Apparently, he was a distant cousin to Mikasa, but she didn’t really know him.

“Rough couple of days.” You admitted, voice flat and eyes dull.

The short male regarded you carefully, as he had taken note that you had been absent for the past three days and went to his bag.

“Alright kiddo, I’ve got some dark chocolate and a Red Machine Naked Juice,” he said, placing said items on your desk in front of you, “You look like you’ve been through some shit, and you need these more than I do. Besides, it looks like you’ve lost a shit ton of weight since the semester started.”

Your face flushed bright red. You didn’t think Mr. Ackerman paid that much attention to any of his students, let alone you.

“T-thanks Mr. Ackerman….” You said, opening the chocolate bar and taking a small bite.

“No problem kid.” He said, turning to go back to his desk, but stopping.

He hesitated for a moment before turning back to you and crouching down next to you.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and quietly said, “________, you can come to me if you need to talk or if you need help, ok?”

You stared at him in shock and slowly nodded. You’d never heard him speak like that and it almost freaked you out. He nodded at you and returned to his desk. You let your eyes fall onto your desk and stared at it blankly.

“________?”

You jumped and whipped around to see Eren setting his stuff down on the desk next to you.

“What was that all about?” He asked, discreetly nodding his head in your teacher’s direction.

You swallowed hard and stumbled over your words as you tried to reply.

“N-nothing,” you said, averting your eyes from his, “He was just telling me that I looked like crap and needed to eat something, so he gave me this, that’s all.”

You quickly grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to open it, but struggled. You knew you had been having a bit of a hard time doing normal things, but never had you struggled to open a beverage bottle. You frowned and stopped trying to open the juice.

“Here, I got it,” Eren said, taking the bottle from you and cracking it open easily with his large hands, “I'm kinda shocked he’d be nice enough to give you something, but you should drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

He carefully put the bottle back into your hand and you weakly smiled at him. You took a long drink from the juice and sighed, satisfied by the taste. Soon the room was full and the bell rang, class starting.

Levi’s eyes scanned over his students as they worked on the small packet he had given them to complete before the end of class. He heard a snore from beside him and looked at the teacher he was supposed to be shadowing, Dot Pixis, and rolled his eyes when he saw him asleep again. How that man became a teacher was beyond him. He heard footsteps approaching his desk and turned his attention forward again.

“Eren and I are finished with the packet.” ________ said, holding out two packets.

“As always, finished before anyone else. The brat is lucky you partner with him every time.” Levi said, shaking his head and reaching out for the papers.

As ________ pulled her hand away, she accidently knocked over the cup of pens and pencils on the desk.

“Shit, sorry Mr. Ackerman. I’ll take care of it.” She said, crouching down quickly.

“It’s fine, kid, don’t worry about it.” He said, looking over the side of his desk at her.

His eyes widened as the left sleeve of her sweater raised up, revealing a bruise vaguely shaped like a handprint and several track marks on her upper forearm. He froze, not knowing what to do as he watched her quickly pick up the scattered writing utensils and put them back into the cup. He swallowed hard and tried to formulate words, say anything to her, but he couldn’t manage it, too shocked. She smiled smally at him before going back to her desk. His eyes followed her and jumped over to Eren, her best friend. If he couldn’t talk to ________ directly, he sure as hell could talk to the brat.

“Jaeger, see me after class.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Eren groaned loudly.

“What the fuck did I do this time?” Eren practically whined.

He dramatically draped himself over where your desks were pushed together, making you breathe out a laugh.

“I don’t know, but this happens at least once a week and you know it.” You said, petting his shoulder length hair.

He sighed deeply and peeked up at you with his beautiful turquoise eyes, pouting. You stared at him and couldn’t help but smile lovingly at him. You’d never told anyone, but you’d been in love with the tall boy since you were eleven and he was twelve. He’d always been there for you, doing everything he could to make you laugh and smile. Usually, he’d drag Armin into his antics too, but it was all in good fun and you all laughed together.

“Your hair’s get long,” you murmured, playing with the little bun that was tied at the base of his skull, “Are you gonna cut it?”

Eren hummed and said, “Nah, I kinda like it like this. What do you think about it? Does it look bad?”

You shook your head and said, “No, I like it. I think it looks really good on you.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping it long.” He said, smiling up at you.

You smiled back and continued to talk to him for the rest of class. When the bell rang, you gathered your things and gave Eren a sympathetic look.

“I’ll see you later Eren. Have fun with Mr. A.” You said, waving.

“Yeah,” he groaned, standing up, “Have fun in anatomy with Armin. Embarrass him for me, would ya?”

“Sure! I’ve got a good dirty joke or two that I haven’t told in front of him yet.” You said, grinning.

Eren sighed and picked up his bag before walking up to Levi’s desk.

“You wanted to see me sir?” He asked, shoulders slumped.

Levi nodded and said, “Yes. What class do you have next?”

Eren was confused but answered, “German. Why?”

“Are you doing well in that class?” Levi asked.

“I’ve been speaking German since I was born basically,” Eren said, still confused as all hell, “My dad’s family lives in Germany, and my grandparents don’t speak English very well. I only took the class so I could get an easy A…. Why do you ask?”

Levi stood from his desk and motioned for Eren to follow him as he said, “I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you missed part of the class. I need to speak to you, but somewhere private.”

Eren was beyond confused now but followed his teacher anyway. The shorter man always seemed rather serious, but this time, he seemed deadly serious about whatever it was. He followed Levi to one of the biology labs and went inside.

“Hanji, I need to borrow your lab for a little bit,” Levi said, addressing one of the other student teachers he was friends with, “I need to speak to Eren alone.”

The crazy science teacher looked up from her notes and said, “Oh! Ok, sure! Just let me know when you’re done!”

She quickly left the room and closed the door behind her. Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. The younger boy did, facing his teacher.

“What’s going on Mr. Ackerman?” Eren asked, frowning.

Levi took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about ________.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and he asked, “________? What about her?”

“Something’s going on with her. Has she said anything to you?” He asked.

Eren thought for a moment before shaking his head as he said, “I mean, she said that she had a cold and that’s why she wasn’t at school the last few days. Other than that, no.”

Levi nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, “Eren, you’re her best friend, right?”

The brunet nodded.

“Do you pay close attention to her? The way she looks, the way she acts?”

Eren blinked a few times before shyly nodding his head.

“Then have you noticed that she’s lost quite a bit of weight since the semester started?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again and said, “I tried to ask her about it once, but she got really upset about it and snapped at me, so I didn’t say anything after that. But I noticed that she was losing more and more weight as the weeks went on. And every few weeks she looks really sick and upset, but she won’t talk to me about it….”

Levi sighed deeply again and said, “Eren, I saw something on her arm today, in class when she was picking up the pens. That’s why I asked you to stay after.”

“What was on her arm?” Eren asked, worried and confused at the same time.

“There was a large bruise that looked like a handprint. And she had several… track marks on her forearm.” Levi said, letting his own shoulders drop in sadness.

“What are track marks?” Eren asked, still confused.

Levi looked up at Eren and said, “Needle marks, Eren. From using drugs.”

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Drugs?! No way! ________ would never!” Eren said, denial evident in his voice.

Levi sighed again and said, “Eren I know what track marks look like. It’s no secret that I grew up on the streets. A lot of people I ran with did drugs back then. I know what I saw.”

Eren’s heart dropped into his stomach, knowing that his teacher couldn’t be wrong. He thought back over the months and remembered seeing ________’s forearms and elbow crooks all the time. There were never any needle marks before. Bruises, sure, but ________ was clumsy.

“I-it must be new…,” he said, looking down at his hands, “She’s never had needle marks on her arms before….”

“What about the bruises?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged and said, “She’s always had a few bruises here and there, ever since we were kids. She’s clumsy as hell, always has been. And she bruises easily because she’s anemic.”

“Has she always been anemic?”

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. It started around the time we started high school. That’s also when she started to look sick and upset every few weeks…. And her weight started fluctuating and her eating habits changed too….”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed again and he started to get more upset, thinking about how something was wrong with his best friend, the girl he was in love with, and he didn’t even realize, even though he saw everything.

“I should have known something was wrong….” Eren whispered, clenching his fists.

“Eren, it’s not your fault. You guys are kids still. It’s not your job to watch every little detail about her.” Levi said, trying to make the teen feel less guilty.

“But I love her,” Eren almost cried, a desperate look on his face, “I have been watching every detail about her for years! I should have known!”

Eren hung his head and let out a shaky breath, resting his head in his hands. Levi looked at his student sadly. He knew that the boy was in love with ________; it was pretty obvious, at least to him. And he could see that ________ loved him back. It was beyond him why the two hadn’t began dating yet, but that was beside the point at the moment.

“Now you know something’s up with her. Use the information you have now and talk to her.” Levi said, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

The younger male looked up at his teacher and sighed, nodding.

Levi nodded back and said, “Alright. Now come on. I’ll write you a note to excuse you for missing class.”

Eren nodded again and sadly trailed behind his teacher. He got his note and trudged to his German class. He gave the note to Herr Ham and took his seat in the back of the classroom, spacing out. It didn’t matter if her paid attention or not. His teacher was horrible and taught in a ridiculous way that confused most students. The only reason he was top of the class was because he’s a native speaker. All he could think about was ________. He would see her again fifth hour for lunch and he didn’t know how he could face her without saying anything. He didn’t want to talk to her in front of their friends. He sighed and rested his head on his arms on his desk.

“For fuck’s sake….” You muttered, sitting back on your legs.

You were currently on your knees in a bathroom stall, retching into the toilet every so often. It didn’t surprise you that this was happening; you were going through oxycodone withdrawal after all. Nausea and vomiting were normal. You’d gone through this a few times before, but never this badly. You wondered if whatever drug your mother gave you the last few days was making it worse this time around.

“Oh god,” you groaned, feeling bile rise in your throat again, “Not again…!”

You heaved into the toilet again, hot tears running down your cheeks. All you had had to eat that day was what Mr. Ackerman had given you during econ, and there was no way any of it still resided in your stomach. All you could taste was stomach acid, your throat burning. You checked the time on your phone and sighed. Fifth period was almost over and you knew Eren would be worried that you weren’t there. You tried to get up and leave a few times, but it was obvious that your body wasn’t done. You shakily unlocked your phone and typed out a choppy text to Eren.

Eren frowned as he arrived at his normal lunch table. Armin and Max were sitting together, holding hands and feeding each other like normal; Mikasa and Annie were sitting across from each other, glaring at each other with an awkward sexual tension between them, like normal; and Jean and Marco were holding hands and eating quietly, like normal. What was not like normal, was the fact that ________ was missing. Eren was always the last one to arrive at the table and ________ was always sitting in one of the two open seats left at the table when he got there.

“Has anyone seen ________?” He asked, sitting down.

Max swallowed a strawberry Armin had fed her and said, “Not since third hour.”

“I saw her heading towards the cafeteria on my way here,” Marco said, frowning slightly, “But then she ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since.”

Eren frowned deeply and stared down at his food. He sighed and ultimately started to pick at his food, eventually shoveling it into his mouth quickly as his dumb teenage body demanded him to. Near the end of the hour, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a text from ________.

Felt sick, stuck in bathroom. Sorry. See you later.

Eren frowned again and sighed.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked, finally breaking her gaze away from her (not so secret) secret girlfriend.

“________ texted me. She said she was feeling sick and was stuck in the bathroom.” Eren said, shoulders slumping.

Max frowned and said, “I can go check on her if you’re really worried.”

Eren looked up at the red-haired girl gratefully and said, “Yes, please.”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned over to Armin and gave him several quick kisses before getting up and leaving the cafeteria.

“________?”

You jumped as you heard someone call your name. You knew that voice; it was your friend Max.

“M-Max?” You choked out, coughing.

You heard her run to the large stall you were in and try the door.

“________, are you ok? Eren said you were sick and you don’t sound good at all!” She said, voice full of concern.

You weakly moved to open the door to let her in before going back to slumping against the wall. She quickly came in and dropped to her knees in front of you.

“Oh my god, hon, are you ok?” She asked, gently putting her hands on your arms.

You sighed as more tears slipped from your eyes and shook your head as you breathed, “No…. I’ve been throwing up all hour….”

“Oh no, ________...,” Max said, looking at you sadly, “You need to go to the nurse and go home!”

You sighed again and said, “My mom won’t come get me….”

“I’ll take you home. They’ve let me do it for Armin before, and he wasn’t nearly this sick.” Max said, pulling her phone out.

She called Armin and asked for him to come to the bathroom and help. She hung up and pocketed her phone before gently stroking your (h/c) hair.

A minute later the door to the bathroom opened and you heard Armin call out, “Max, ________? Is there anyone else in there or can we come in?”

“It’s just us, come in.” Max called back.

Soon Armin was in the doorway of the stall, Eren behind him. Eren quickly pushed his way past him and gently scooped you up into his arms. Armin grabbed your backpack and followed you out of the bathroom. A security guard saw you being carried out of the bathroom by Eren and Armin following behind and asked what was going on.

“Our friend got really sick and needs to go to the nurse, but she couldn’t walk. I couldn’t carry her on my own, so I asked them to come and help.” Max explained, giving the older man puppy dog eyes.

The security guard was a little flustered by the look she was giving him and he let you guys go. You giggled a little, knowing your friend would use her incredibly seductive puppy dog eyes to get you out of any trouble. Armin may not like it, but you thought it was hilarious. Your little group made its way to the nurse’s office and Max explained the situation to the woman. Taking one look at you, the nurse gave Max permission to drive you home. She called the office and asked for a teacher to escort you out so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were a little surprised to see Mr. Ackerman walk into the room, concern written all over his usually stoic face.

“I knew you were feeling sick this morning, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, frowning.

You looked down shyly and shrugged your shoulders as best you could in Eren’s arms. Your group, now escorted by your teacher, made its way outside to Max’s car. Eren carefully placed you in the passenger seat and handed you a plastic bag for ‘just in case’. Armin put your bag in the backseat along with Max’s and kissed the girl before she got in. The three males stepped back and your friend pulled out of the parking spot. She drove carefully to your house and parked in your driveway.

“Do you need help inside?” She asked, turning to look at you.

You hesitated, not know if you really wanted to bother her anymore.

“You know what, don’t answer,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m helping you to as least the front door.”

She got out of the car and you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your door opened and Max helped you out of the car. She grabbed your bag from the back. She took your arm and helped you slowly walk to the door. You unlocked it and stepped inside, taking your bag from your friend.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling at your friend.

She smiled back and said, “Anytime. And if you’re not feeling better by Saturday morning, one of us is taking you to the doctor.”

You opened your mouth to say no but you didn’t get a chance.

“No arguments,” Max said, finality in her voice, “If you’re still this sick, you’re going to the doctor.”

You sighed in defeat and said, “Ok. Thanks for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Max smiled at you sadly and nodded before getting back in her car and driving away, heading back to school. You closed the door and dragged your feet towards your room.

“What the fuck are you doing home?”

You silently groaned and turned to look at your mother.

“I got really sick.” You said, rubbing your face tiredly.

“That’s no excuse for you to come home.” The woman said, irritated.

You dully stared at her and said, “I was throwing up every few minutes all of fifth hour. It finally seems to have calmed down but I still feel like shit. My friends took me to the nurse and they made me go home.”

Your mother glared at you and said, “Well why the fuck are you sick anyway?”

You glared back and said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm going through serious withdrawal from the clonazepam and oxy. It’s been four days since you last shoved oxy down my throat and it’s hitting me hard as fuck this time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. You shook your head and made you way to your bedroom. You set your bag down by your desk before falling face down on your bed. Luckily, your bed was still sacred and safe. The only man that had ever been in your bed was Eren, and those times were never sexual. Only lazy weekend naps and scrolling through social media together, showing each other things you found funny. You sighed heavily again and wiggled your way under your covers, managing to fall asleep a little faster than normal due to how horrible you felt.

Max pulled back in to her parking spot at school and turned off her car. She sighed and stepped out, shocked to see the three males she’d left fifteen minutes ago standing in the same place.

“You guys waited here this whole time?” She asked, confused.

They nodded and Armin took her hand, leading her back into the school. Eren and Levi slowly trail behind them and spoke quietly.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her?” Levi asked.

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. She got sick before I even saw her….”

Levi nodded and they walked in silence. They’d figure out the best way to talk to her eventually.

You groaned as you rinsed your mouth out for the fourth time that morning. You hadn’t made it to school the day before and you were still sick. It was now Saturday, and you knew your phone would be ringing soon. One of your friends would be taking you to the doctor today, and you were dreading it. As if on cue, your phone began to ring. You sighed and walked into your room to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked, answering without checking the caller ID.

“________, how are you feeling?” Eren’s voice came through.

“Oh, Eren…,” you said, not expecting him to call this early, “I-I’m… not doing so hot….”

You finally admitted to him that you weren’t alright. You sat on your bed and wrapped your free arm around your stomach.

“You’re still feeling sick?” Eren asked, a frown evident in his voice.

You sighed and answered, “Yeah. Honestly, I'm not feeling any better than I did at school the other day.”

“Alright, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Eren said, sounding like he was getting up, “Get ready, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were surprised, but said, “O-ok…! Um, I’ll be ready.”

He hung up with a quick goodbye and you stared down at your phone, blinking owlishly. You sighed again and set it down on your bed so you could get ready. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with your school’s mascot on it. You grabbed the hoodie that you had been wearing to bed, which actually belonged to Eren, and pulled it on, smiling at the way you drowned in the large garment. You pulled on a pair of slip-on boots and grabbed your small backpack purse. You grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs. Your mother was snoring loudly on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka still gripped in her hand that was hanging off the edge, resting on the floor. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall next to the window by the front door. A few minutes later, Eren’s beat up old car pulled into your driveway and you slipped out the door, locking it behind you. Eren met you halfway to the car and gently took your hand in one of his and braced your arm with the other, helping you to walk to the car. He opened your door and helped you in, even buckling your seatbelt for you.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and carefully closed your door before going around the car and getting in the driver’s seat. He backed out of your driveway and took off down the street, heading towards downtown.

“Where are we going anyway,” you asked, biting your lip, “You know I don’t have insurance….”

He grinned over at you and said, “We’re going to my dad’s clinic. He said he’d see you free of charge.”

You smiled hearing that. Grisha Jaeger was a good man. Since your families had known each other since you and Eren were babies, you grew up seeing the man often. He was always kind to you, and you knew he was a good man since he took in Mikasa after her parents died when she and Eren were ten. He was the only father figure you had left since your dad died when you were eight. It was around that time that your mom started drinking and selling sex for money. When you turned fourteen, she realized that she could sell you instead and get even more money without her having to do anything. You sighed lightly as all of these thoughts swirled through your head, making it throb slightly.

“Hey, you good? Need me to roll the window down or something?” Eren asked, looking at you worriedly.

You smiled nervously at him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up in your car. It’s passed for now at least. I was just kinda spacing out, that’s all.”

Eren nodded and said, “I’m glad you feel better now. And you throwing up in my car probably wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened in here. I’m pretty sure Jean and Marco fucked in the backseat that time we went camping last summer.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” You asked, shocked and kind of amused.

Eren nodded and said, “I saw them sneaking back to the campsite from the parking lot and then my car smelled nasty the next morning. And Marco couldn’t look me in the eye for a week.”

You laughed harder than you had laughed in a long time at this, holding your stomach as it cramped lightly.

“Ow…,” you cried, tears of laughter streaming down your face, “It hurts! It’s so funny it hurts!”

You quickly pulled you phone out and dialed Jean’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jean, did you and Marco really fuck in Eren’s car last summer when we went camping?!” You asked, still laughing.

You could hear the horror in his voice as he said, “How did you find out about that?!”

You barked out another laugh and said, “Eren’s known about it since it happened! He saw you guys sneaking back to the campsite that night!”

Jean swore and hung up on you, causing you to laugh even harder. You put your phone back in your purse and leaned back in your seat, your laughter dying down.

“I can’t believe you called him.” Eren chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe he admitted it to me. Well, in a way.” You said, giggling again.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot of his dad’s clinic.

He must have seen your confused look and said, “The clinic doesn’t open until 11 o’clock. Dad wanted me to bring you in early to make sure there was time to do a thorough exam and run any tests needed before any other patients were here.”

You nodded in understanding and bit your lip nervously. At least one of your secrets was about to come out and you were not ready for that. Your door opened and you jumped slightly, looking up to see Eren shaking his head at you. He leaned down and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. He took your hand and helped you out of the car. You expected him to let go of your hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he held onto your hand tightly and guided you to the back door of the clinic, unlocking it and opening it, leading you in.

“You have a key?” You asked.

He nodded and said, “I sometimes help dad out by coming in before or after hours and help clean and stuff.”

You nodded and looked around hesitantly, not ready for this.

“Dad, we’re here!” He called into the mostly dark clinic.

“Back here, room 3.” His father called back.

Eren lead you down two hallways to the only room with lights on. You saw Dr. Jaeger setting up several different things and you immediately froze. He must have noticed because gave you a gentle smile.

“Relax ________,” he said softly, “Eren told me that you haven’t been to a doctor in quite a while, so I figured we’d just do a full work up.”

You swallowed had and nodded, letting Eren lead you over to the exam table, helping you to sit on it. He smiled at you a little before letting go of your hand, turning to leave the room.

“W-wait…,” you said, reaching out and grabbing his arm, “Stay… please…?”

He blinked at you a few times before looking at his father and asked, “Is it alright if stay dad?”

“As long as she says it’s alright, then yes.” He answered, nodding.

Eren nodded as well and moved to stand next to the exam table. You didn’t look at him or his dad, instead, just staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Alright, let’s start with your height and weight.” Dr. Jaeger said, motioning for you to come over to the scale.

You slipped off the table and went over, letting him measure your height (A/N: anything shorter than 6 foot so you’re shorter than Eren). You couldn’t look at the little screen on the scale where the numbers would pop up, indicating your weight.

“94 lbs,” Dr. Jaeger said, frowning, “________, that’s extremely low.”

You swallowed hard and said, “I know…. I knew my weight was low but I didn’t know it was that low….”

You trudged back to the exam table and climbed back onto it, not meeting the eyes of either Jaeger. The older man came over and grabbed the blood pressure cuff.

“Can you take your sweater off please?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You took a shuddering deep breath and slowly pulled off your hoodie. You shyly offered the doctor you left arm, looking anywhere but him. The room was silent as you felt both males staring at you.

“________, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You nodded, pulling your arm back, wrapping both your arms around your body.

“Are you taking drugs?” He asked.

“Not willingly….” You answered quietly.

“Someone’s making you take them?”

You nodded again.

“Who?”

You swallowed hard and said, “My mom….”

You felt Eren’s eyes boring into the side of your head but you refused to look at him.

“What is she giving you?” Dr asked.

“Normally she gives me clonazepam and oxy when I… have to work…. But last time she injected me with something instead. I don’t know what it was though….” You said, bringing one hand up to bite on your nails.

Dr. Jaeger was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

You squeezed your eyes closed tightly and said, “Sex work….”

“What?!” Eren cried, making you cringe.

“Eren, calm down,” Grisha said, “Freaking out right now isn’t going to help her at all.”

“S-sorry….” Eren stuttered, gently taking your hand.

“Does your mother force you to do this work?” Dr asked.

You nodded and said, “Yes…. When my dad died, she couldn’t pay the bills anymore and started selling herself. When I turned fourteen, she realized that if she sold me, she could make twice the money without having to do anything herself. I struggled and fought at first, and she would always get mad and say that I was too loud and that we’d get caught. So, she started drugging me to get through the meetings. It started out with just the clonazepam, but somewhere along the way she added the oxy.

“It was only once every few weeks at first, but then she started taking me to that place every week. Now it’s at least three nights a week, for… well, I’m actually not sure how long were there for since I’m drugged the whole time…. After she started bringing me every week, my body got dependent on the drugs…. That’s how she controls me now…. I've been going through really bad withdrawal this whole week…. The last time I had either was Sunday night….”

Both Jaegers were quiet for a moment.

Dr. Jaeger sighed heavily and said, “________, because of what your mother has been forcing you to do, I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions, alright?”

You nodded.

“Do you know how many men have… been with you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to be asking you these questions, just as much as you didn’t want to be asked them.

“I’m not sure…. I’m drugged every time now…. But if I had to guess… probably at least 300, maybe 350….” You said, rubbing your arm in shame.

Another sigh came from the doctor and you could hear Eren breathing heavily.

“Do you know if protection was used?”

You sighed and said, “Mom never put me on birth control and from the number of times I woke up to… fluids dripping down my thighs I assume not.”

Sighs were heard from both males in the room and you finally looked up. Dr. Jaeger looked conflicted and Eren looked so sad and so angry at the same time.

“I’m sorry I never told you Eren,” you said, hesitantly gripping his sleeve, “I was so embarrassed and… I was scared that if anyone found out that I would get in trouble….”

Eren shook his head almost violently and said, “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault she made you do that! I’m sorry that I never notice anything was going on!”

“It’s alright Eren. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t know.” You said, shrugging.

You both fell silent and Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. You turned your attention back to him.

“Given the information you’ve provided me, I’m afraid I need to perform a pelvic exam and take some swabs and samples to make sure you’re not seriously sick.” He said, looking at you apologetically.

You sighed and nodded, figuring this was coming.

You looked at Eren and asked, “Will you stay with me still?”

He looked at you confused and asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay in here while he exams your… you know… girly bits?”

You nodded and said, “I already know it’s gonna be uncomfortable as hell. I've heard these exams can hurt a little, especially if samples need to be taken. It’s also going to be awkward as fuck since it’s your dad and all, so I might as well have some sort of comfort. You can face the wall behind me if it helps.”

He hesitated, but nodded. Dr. Jaeger began to gather all of the instruments and things he needed for the exam while you put on the paper gown he gave you. You asked Eren to tie it for you and her did. Once it was tied, you slipped off your leggings and panties without him seeing anything. To spare both of you any extra embarrassment, you folded your panties inside your leggings so he didn’t see them.

“Lay back and place your feet into the stirrups, then slide your bottom towards the end of the table.” Dr. Jaeger said, sitting on the rolling stool.

You did what you were told and held your hand out to Eren, who was facing the wall behind you, but could still see you. He took your hand and held it tightly. Dr. Jaeger started to examine you and you breathed deeply, closing your eyes. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment and couldn’t bring yourself to look at Eren, even as he squeezed your hand reassuringly. Once you felt the speculum touch you, you breathed deeply again, anticipating the pain of something entering you. It didn’t hurt while going in, but when it started to open, you whined slightly at the burning pain.

“I apologize ________,” Dr said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

You nodded and bit your lip. After what felt like forever, but was only about a minute and a half, the speculum was pulled out of you and you sighed in relief. You sat up and looked at Dr. Jaeger, watching as he collected all of the swabs and samples he had taken.

“I’m going to go process these and we should have the results in about twenty minutes. I’ll also need to take some blood samples to check a few things.” He said, standing.

You nodded and took the towel he handed you. He left the room and Eren turned his back so you could clean yourself up and get dressed again. You did so quickly and tossed the towel into the labeled basket.

“I’m done.” You said, sitting on the table again.

Eren turned back to you and leaned against the exam table, pulling you into a tight, but gentle hug. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck.

“I love you,” he said, stroking your (h/c) hair, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared. But after hearing that your own mother was forcing you to do that kind of stuff, I felt like I had to tell you… tell you that someone loved you….”

You teared up a little and said, “I love you too Eren…. But I was so scared to tell you because I thought no one could love me when I’m so used and disgusting….”

“You’re not disgusting,” Eren said, kissing your forehead, “You’ve been abused. None of it was your choice or your fault. Nothing could make me stop loving you.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. He leaned down and kissed you gently. You kissed him back before resting your head against his chest while he stood between your legs, hugging you. You stayed like that until the door opened again.

“Can I assume that you two finally confessed?” Dr. Jaeger asked, raising an eyebrow.

You giggled quietly and Eren nodded.

He nodded back and said, “Congratulations, and finally. Now, I’m sorry to have to separate you two lovebirds, but I need to take some blood samples.”

You nodded and pulled away from Eren to offer your arm to his father. He tied a rubber strip around your arm and felt for your vein. Once he found it, he skillfully stuck the needle in your arm and collected the blood he needed.

“Eren, hold this here for me.” He said, nodding down to the folded cotton pad he had placed over the needlestick.

Eren’s tanned fingers gently pressed down on the cotton and his father went to dispose of the needle. He came back with a roll of (f/c) coban and wrapped it around your arm. You thanked him and moved back to your embrace with Eren.

“I’ll run these tests and when all the results are back, we’ll go over them. For now, relax.” Grisha said, nodding at you two.

You nodded and rested your head back on Eren’s chest. He rested his chin on top of your head and hummed happily. You talked idly for a little over half an hour before Dr. Jaeger came back in, a dark look on his face.

“I know that look,” Eren said, sounding a little scared, “And nothing good comes after it….”

Grisha sighed and pulled the rolling stool over again, sitting down in front of you.

“Don’t sugarcoat it.” You said, trying to steal your nerves.

“There are a few things that we need to discus,” Dr. Jaeger said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, “Are you sure you ok with Eren hearing this information?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. He knows everything else now. I’m not going to hide anything from him anymore.”

Dr. Jaeger nodded and said, “Alright. We’ll your anemia has gotten worse, which judging by how low your iron levels are, is probably due to your lack of nutrition. And your extreme weight loss is most likely due to your body’s dependence on the drugs.”

You nodded at his words. You had kind of figured that would be the case, but you were dreading whatever other diagnoses you might get.

“You have a few other vitamin deficiencies and insufficiencies, but that’s to be expected.”

You nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have two more rather serious diagnoses for you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding onto Eren’s hand tightly.

“The lesser of the two is that you have a bacterial infection. It can be taken care of with antibiotics though.” Dr. Jaeger said.

You closed your eyes and sighed sadly.

“It’s an STD… isn’t it…?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yes. You have chlamydia, which, like I said, is treatable,” Dr said, trying to reassure you, “All you have to do is take the antibiotics that I give you and abstain from any sexual activity for a while and you’ll be cured.”

You nodded sadly and asked, “What’s the other bad news?”

Dr. Jaeger fell silent and his face grew dark again. A chill ran down your spine at the look.

“Dad,” Eren said, “What is it?”

The man sighed heavily and said, “________, according to your blood test, you’re somewhere between four and six weeks pregnant….”

The blood drained out of your face and your heart dropped into your stomach. You could see Dr. Jaeger’s lips moving, but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing. It hadn’t been the withdrawal that was making you so sick…. It was because you were pregnant….

“I think I'm gonna be sick…!” You said, jumping up from the exam table and running to the garbage can that was built into the counter next to the sink.

You hunched over it and heaved roughly, bringing up stomach acid again. Gentle hands gathered your hair away from your face and another hand rubbed your back. You retched a few more times before gasping and coughing.

“Rinse your mouth out dear.” Dr. Jaeger said, turning the water on and grabbing a small cup.

He filled it and handed it to you. You took the water in, swished it around and spit it out in the sink. You coughed a few more times before straightening up, stumbling slightly. Eren quickly steadied you and brought you into his chest. Tears flooded your eyes and you began to sob.

“What am I going to do…?!” You cried, grabbing onto Eren’s shirt tightly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging you tightly, “We’ll get through this. I swear…!”

You spent a while crying into your boyfriend’s chest before you were able to calm down.

“Eren, I want you to take ________ to our house,” Grisha said, taking his phone out, “I’ll call your mother and explain what’s going on. She’ll know how to help.”

Eren nodded and lead you out of the clinic and back to his car. He got you in and quickly drove to his house. He helped you out of the car and to the front door where his mother met you.

“Oh ________, darling.” She cooed, pulling you into a hug.

You started to cry again and she slowly brought you to the couch. She lowered you both down and stroked your hair. Eren came and sat on your other side and rested his hand on your knee, letting you know he was there. You managed to calm down quicker this time and pulled out of Carla’s loving embrace.

You sniffled and said, “Did Papa call you yet?”

Carla smiled lightly at the name you had called Grisha since your father died and nodded.

“I have a plan.” She said, petting your hair.

You nodded and Eren asked, “What is it?”

“There are obviously a few things that we need to address, but the first one is ________’s mother. We need to get the police involved.” Carla said.

You sighed. You were afraid she was going to say that.

“I know you don’t want to ________, but we have to,” Carla said, petting your hair gently, “But don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole way.”

You nodded and asked, “What do we do after that?”

“We get you in a rehab program to get your body to not be dependent on the drugs anymore.” She answered.

You nodded again and looked down at your hands.

“What about… the baby…?” Eren asked, hesitant.

You peeked up at Carla through your lashes, curious to see her reaction.

She smiled a little sadly and said, “It’s still early on. We need to take care of those two things first, and then we’ll turn our attention to that. Oh, and we need to get that infection cleared up! That’s really priority number 1. Well, 1A, since we can do that and the police at the same time.”

You giggled a little at her, causing her to smile at you.

“Mom, can ________ stay with us from now on?” Eren asked.

“Of course! We’re getting that bitch thrown in jail so she needs somewhere to live. And this is the safest place for her.” Carla said.

You and Eren looked at the woman in shock.

“Mom!” Eren exclaimed, wide-eyed.

She looked at you two and asked, “What?”

“You never swear,” you giggled, “At least, not like that!”

The woman shrugged and said, “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

You giggled again and nodded.

“My mom should be out doing god knows what right now, so we should probably go get my stuff.” You said, looking to Eren.

He nodded and you stood, say goodbye to your new mother and going to the car. It didn’t take long to reach your house and you sighed in relief when you saw that your mother’s car was indeed gone. You quickly went inside and to your room. You went to your closet and reached for the large duffle bag that was on the top shelf, but couldn’t reach it.

“Need some help there?” Eren asked, coming up behind you and putting a hand on your waist.

“Yes please.” You said, tilting your head back so you could look up at him.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bag. He placed it on your bed and helped you shove your small wardrobe into it. You didn’t have a lot of stuff, since you didn’t see any of the money you made from ‘working’, so your belongings were few and far between and all fit into your duffle and backpack. Shoving the last item into your bag, a photo of you and Eren from when you were kids, you froze as you heard the front door slam shut.

“________, are you back? Whose piece of shit car is that?” Your mother yelled, sounding mostly sober.

You took a deep, shuddering breath and felt Eren wrap his arms around you.

“We’ll make something up and get out of here quickly, I swear.” He whispered, kissing your forehead.

You nodded and took another deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking downstairs.

“There you are,” your mother said, her drawn on eyebrows pinching together when she saw you, “What the fuck is all this?”

Your mind blanked and you started to panic slightly, looking to Eren for help.

“Max asked to barrow some stuff from ________ for a project and since we were all planning on hanging out today, I just decided to drive her.” Eren said, forcing a smile.

Your mother eyed you both for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Whatever. As long as your back in time for our plans tonight.” She said, staring you down.

A chill ran down your spine and squeezed out “Yes ma’am….”

She nodded again and waved her hand dismissively as she walked towards the kitchen. You quickly ran out the door and Eren threw your bags into the back seat. You got in the car and Eren sped the whole way back to his house. Once there, he put your things in his room and you sat down with his mother again.

“So, you’re supposed to work tonight?” She asked, pulling out her phone.

You nodded and watched as she dialed a number.

“Hannes, hi, it’s Carla,” she said, tilting her head a little, “Listen, Grisha and I need a favor.”

She listened for a moment before humming.

“Great,” Carla said, smiling, “You remember Eren’s friend ________, right? Well, turns out her mother is a horrid bitch and has been forcing ________ into sex work for the past few years. She was so scared that she wasn’t able to tell us anything before today when she saw Grisha for an exam. The bitch has also been forcing ________ to take drugs. Is there any way to set her up tonight to get her arrested?”

She listened again and you could faintly hear someone talking on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Wonderful. We’ll come by the station when Grisha gets home. Thanks.”

The woman hung up and looked at you with a smile.

“That hag should be in jail tonight.” She said, a sly smirk on her lips.

You were still a little shocked to see this side of Eren’s mother, but you kind of liked it. You smiled yourself and hugged your new mom, thanking her.

“What do we do after she’s arrested?” Eren asked.

“Well, first, since ________ is still 17, your father and I will have to take care of whatever legal paperwork needs to be done to become her guardians. Then, rehab.” Carla said, stroking your hair.

You nodded and reached out for Eren’s hand. He laced his fingers with yours and brought your hand up, kissing it lovingly. You ended up cuddling up with Eren on the couch watching tv with his mother while waiting for your father to get home. Once he arrived, you all got into his car and drove to the police station.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you watched a cop handcuff your mother.

“You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! I’ll make you regret it!!” She screeched, fighting against the cop.

You huffed out a breath and turned away from her, searching for Eren. You spotted him quickly and made your way to him. He hugged you and kissed your forehead. The next step now was rehab. It turns out that your new mom had a friend that ran a really nice rehab facility. And you didn’t have to pay for a thing, since the courts had decided that your biological mother owed you sever hundred thousand dollars for all of the trauma and damages she caused. You kept up with your school work while in rehab, but a little over two weeks into the program, you ended up in the hospital. They called Carla and your family quickly raced over.

“________,” Eren cried, bursting into you room, “Are you ok?! What happened?!”

You smiled tiredly at him and reached out for his hand. He quickly came to your side and held your hand with both of his.

“I miscarried.” You said simply.

Eren’s eyes widened at the news, and he didn’t know how to react, not knowing how you felt.

“How do you feel about the situation?” Your mom asked, sitting next to you on your bed and petting your head.

You smiled sadly and said, “I’m a little sad but, it’s best that this happened. I’m not ready for a baby and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled having a child from that situation. So, I'm ok.”

Eren frowned and said, “You don’t look like you’re ok.”

You laughed lightly and said, “I meant mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m tired as fuck and still in pain. Both from rehab and this. But I really am fine. I’ll be better in no time, I promise.”

Eren sighed lightly but nodded. You leaned up and kissed him gently before resting back in your bed.

Two months later, you were back home with Eren and your new family and you would be graduation high school soon. You were clean and sober a little over two months and you had recovered from the miscarriage completely. Your life was normal now, and you couldn’t be any happier with your boyfriend and your new family.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader

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teawithkpop · 4 years

Text

[M] - PhysCom - Pt 5

pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3 - bc 1 - pt 4 - pt 5 - pt 6

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader

Rating: Mature [18+]

Length: 9.1k words

Genre: PhysCom AU - smut with dashes of angst, and a shitload of romance and complicated feelings,, uhuhu (porn with plot??)

Warnings: mentions of sexual acts, swearing, mentions of sexual abuse/manipulation, mentions of non-consensual sex - (these are both mentioned very briefly in the chapter and do not center around any of our main characters, but please be cautious if this is a sensitive topic for you!)

*meme voice* ah shit, here we go again.

thank you everyone for your patience regarding this update!! <3 I appreciate you for waiting patiently and for all your love in the meantime! I hope you enjoy ^^

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"Please, will you take this vacation?"

You stare at Namjoon, at the desperation written on his face as he begs you to accept his offer, and a war wages within your heart.

On the one hand, you have no good reason to believe him, not after you’d heard him and his members discussing you behind your back like they did. The key could be a fake, his little theory could be a ruse to let your guard down so you won’t put up a fight when he finally sends you packing.

On the other hand, you’ve never had reason to doubt Namjoon up until an hour ago. He seems to have always looked out for you, always appreciated your work. This could be a genuine plea for your cooperation in a bigger picture, like he claims.

But the shadow of doubt still covers you. The sound of him and his boys squabbling so carelessly, taking a vote on your future. You can’t let that memory go so easily.

“Never trust your client. They will only betray you in the end.” The words of Madame run through your mind again, as if confirming your fears.

You want to believe Namjoon. But you need to protect yourself before anything else.

You slowly break away from his grasp, taking the key and tucking it into a pocket on your belt. “Kim Namjoon...” you say, your eyes cast downwards.

He seems more relaxed now that you’ve taken his peace offering, and he tilts his head to the side, listening intently. “Yes?”

Your brain claws desperately at a strategy, at anything you could use as leverage. But all you have are words. What can you say? What protection do you have left? You’re putting yourself at his mercy.

“During my time in this house... I have learned many things about you and your members. Things I don’t think you want the public to find out about.” Lies. He knows it. You know it. The only secrets you know are their kinks, which aren’t exactly damning to their characters. Even if you did have dirt on them, who would listen to you?

You continue, though your voice sounds uncertain, even to your own ears. “If you’re lying to me about any of this, then I swear... I’ll do what I have to, and... ensure that you pay for your mistake.” You try to imbue strength and determination into your words, but your heart isn’t in it, and you’re sure he can tell. You can’t even meet his eyes. You have no fight left in you. You’re like a frightened animal that’s been backed into a corner.

Fuck. You’re just so tired of this, of everything. You’ve been through too much recently with not even a moment to catch your breath, and you’re just… exhausted. You’ve tried, you really have. You’ve done your best, you’ve gone down swinging. But you can’t do it anymore, it’s all too much...

You feel numb as Namjoon wraps you into his arms. When did he come over to your side of the table? You don’t remember, you can’t think clearly.

“It’s okay.” Namjoon’s breath is warm against your cheek. “You can rest now.”

Can he read your mind? You must look so pathetic, your body shaking as he holds you tightly, like you might float away.

But right now, you don’t care. He’s seen you at your worst already. You choke on a quiet sob and your fingers twitch, longing to reach up and hold him, to reciprocate...

“Alright, has everything been sorted?” Yeji’s arrival carries away those ideas, and Namjoon pulls away from you with a gentle pat to your shoulder.

“I believe it has,” he says, and he stands up to greet her as the two of them start to wrap up the details of your agreement. Their words turn to buzzing as the rest of the meeting passes by in a blur. You're too dazed to pay attention, too numb to feel anything but a vague sense of resignation as papers are signed, handshakes are given, and your fate is placed in his hands.

Before you know it, you’re back up in your room again. Whatever farewell that Namjoon had probably wished you as you shut the door had fallen on deaf ears. You can’t process anything more right now.

-------

The first few hours of your sentence pass by in silence, tears slowly trickling down your face as you lay on your bed. Your brain slowly works through its state of catastrophe. Dimly, you worry that you might never pick up all the pieces. Some have blown away in the recent whirlwind of disaster, some are stained, irreparable, all of them worn from being taped and glued back together, over and over again.

You feel broken.

Is this what they wanted? To break you?

You roll over onto your other side, uselessly wiping the tears from your face as fresh ones spring to your eyes to replace them.

You know, somewhere inside yourself, that you can’t just sit here and throw a pity party all week. But damn it, it’s been a while.

You just need a little time. Soon, you’ll be back on your feet, you tell yourself. You’ll bounce back, just like always. You’ve never failed before.

But what if you do? What if you fail yourself, fail the boys? Fail your family, yet again? You want to curl up and never move for the rest of your life. The craggy void of failure at your feet has you nearly paralyzed, afraid to misstep. Afraid to get that last strike and finally be sent home.

You groan. You’re so exhausted and frustrated of picking yourself apart like this. There's no point in agonizing over what ifs.

You’re here. You’ve arrived at rock bottom. Now the question is where to go?

It feels eerily calm as you sit up in bed and survey your surroundings. No noise pierces the utter stillness of your bedroom apart from your own breathing. It’s stifling.

By now, it has to have been at least a full day since you came upstairs, right? You feel like you’ve been laying on this bed for ages. You grab your ComGear to check the time, and whimper in despair.

It’s only noon. About two hours since the meeting.

After another brief bout of agony at this revelation, you take a second look at the screen and are surprised to see over a hundred notifications. You expect it to be due to the group chat, but a fair amount of them are actually from your clients. You don’t bother to open each conversation, but merely look over their previews - the most recent messages they sent you.

[ Kim Seokjin ]: please try to get some rest, alright? [ Jung Hoseok ]: I’m sorry… truly. please enjoy your time off. [ Park Jimin ]: just let me know! ^^; [ Kim Namjoon ]: Promise. [ Min Yoongi ]: you know where to find me [ Kim Taehyung ]: enjoy your vacation, jagiya~ ♡ [ Jeon Jungkook ]: are you coming down for lunch?

All of them messaged you, but it doesn’t make you feel any better. It hurts to see them pretend like everything’s fine and see if that makes it better somehow. It looks like most of them didn’t even try to apologize for what they did to you. Maybe you really aren’t that important to them after all.

Could they see through your attempts to befriend them all this time? Did all of their kindness to you mean nothing? Is that how they treat all of their employees?

You feel tears threatening again, and you wish you had a friend to talk to about all this.

Then it occurs to you that maybe… you do.

You flick over to the group chat, where you see that the other PhysComs are now talking about some webtoon and sending memes to each other. You tap on Sascha’s profile again. The same page greets you, the same blank profile picture and call button as before.

Yeji had said that the chat was real. If that's true, then the people in it must be who they claim they are, right? You do trust Yeji’s word, but you need to find out for yourself. You’ll never be able to fully accept this undercover group chat as a reliable resource until you know for sure.

Hey, if you’re suspended anyway, what’s the harm right? What are they going to do, fire you?

You bark out a sob of a laugh, and your finger hits the button before you can stop yourself. Yes, this might be a bad idea, and yes, you shouldn’t risk putting yourself out there on the hope that it’ll connect you to a friend, but you need to know the truth. You’ll feel better if you know that there’s still someone in this world that truly understands you.

It rings. And rings.

As the ominous buzzing stretches on through the silence, your worry starts to return. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. If the chat room is somehow compromised, you might have just given yourself away, someone high up in the industry could be tracking your location at this very moment from your cell signal or something, or maybe-

“Hello?” Sascha’s voice rings clear as a bell through the phone, and you almost start crying right then and there with relief.

“Sascha?” You can barely utter her name as all your memories of training together hit you like a sucker punch in your already fragile state.

“Oh! Hey, sweetie! How’s it going?” she replies in her chipper way, a smile in her tone.

“... It’s really you,” you whisper, pressing your fist to your pursed lips to keep your emotions at bay. “Sasch.”

“Of course it’s me, silly goose.” Her laugh is bright and airy, just like you remember it. “Who else would it be?”

You wait a beat, scouring your mind for a test to prove your paranoia wrong, just in case. “What… what did I give to you on our last day together?” You ask imperatively, waiting with bated breath for her answer.

It was not something either of you would easily forget, though most people probably would. It’s also the best test you can think of, as anyone else would assume such an important day would go hand in hand with a meaningful keepsake or an important gift.

“A sandwich,” she laughs. “Pastrami and mustard on rye. You shared it with me to celebrate reaching our target weight that month. Though you never let me pay you back. I would have preferred ham, you know.”

Your shoulders visibly relax. It’s Sascha, all right. Compliments and complaints in the same breath. It’s as if hearing her voice, hearing the confirmation that it’s really her, turns on a faucet inside you that had long since dried up.

“Sascha… so much has happened.”

You didn’t fully realize how lonely and isolated you’ve been until this very moment, now that you have some true company. Your story comes spilling out, every sordid detail, and Sascha listens attentively to what you have to say, just like she used to during your training days.

“So, now I’m in my room, and… I don’t even know how I’m going to get through today, let alone a whole week,” you confess, hugging your stuffed rabbit to your chest.

“Let me get this straight.” A while into the call, you’d switched to video chat, and Sascha appears to be doing some yoga stretches while catching up with you. “You have seven men in that house, all of whom you’re supposed to pleasure sexually, and they’re giving you a paid break from pleasuring them?”

You nod. “Awful, isn’t it?”

Sascha’s face twists. “You know, I think you may be viewing this all wrong.”

Your brows furrow. “Excuse me?”

“Hear me out for a second,” she continues, now angling her warrior pose so she’s facing her camera. “When was the last time you had a real break?” She quirks an eyebrow, dipping out of frame to switch poses, her blonde hair spilling over one shoulder in a loose braid. “One where you didn’t even think about work?”

You stare blankly at the camera. You’ve had no such days. You’re always looking to improve yourself to maintain your high marks. “Um…”

Sascha laughs and flashes you a fond smile. “You were the same way in training. You know how many days a week I work?”

You feel shame start to curl in your gut. “How many?”

“Three,” she replies. “And the reason why is because we have like six Primary PCs here at the dorm.” She blows a stray lock of hair out of her face. “There are thirteen boys to satisfy at any given moment, so we each only tackle two to three at a time, and our coverage is considered thin! Most groups have at least one Primary per client.” She reaches down to touch her toes, her ass shimmying in the air, and you snort. “And that’s not even counting our Secondaries! We're practically a fucking harem over here!”

You sigh, chewing on your lip crankily. “What’s your point?”

She pokes her head up to shoot you an equally cranky glare. “Remind me, how many boys do you tackle?”

“Seven,” you mumble. You know what she’s getting at, but it’s something you don’t want to admit, even to yourself. Maybe… objectively… you do need a break, even if you don’t want one. Maybe you’ve been overworking yourself, biting off - or in this case, perhaps swallowing - more than you can chew.

“Right! That’s half the amount of our clients. Doing the math, you should have at least three Primaries there, but it’s just you.” You see Sascha’s leg rise up behind her in some sort of bizarre stretch, and her voice sounds strained with the effort of holding the pose. “I’m not saying you can’t handle it, babes. I’m just saying that... you do a lot for them. Maybe this will be good for you.”

Hearing someone put it so rationally makes you feel like maybe you’ve been overreacting. Namjoon did tell Yeji he wants to keep you, but it all still seems... off, somehow.

“What about the whole vote thing? And Namjoon’s deal?” You bring up your last few defenses at her argument, your hand resting subconsciously on the pocket of your belt containing the key to his studio.

“Oh no, that’s all highly suspicious.” Sascha blows a lock of hair out of her face as she comes back up and lifts her arms over her head. “But what’s happened has already happened. So I think you should make the best of it, and take this time to rejuvenate yourself. Just keep an eye out, and if those bastards try anything, you send them to me.”

You laugh. “Rejuvenate? How am I supposed to do that?” You roll your eyes at her playfully. “Yoga?”

Sascha props a hand on her hip. “Don’t joke. Yoga is a very valid form of rejuvenation.”

You giggle at her stoicism and she cracks a smile too before continuing. “But seriously, honey! It breaks my heart that you’ve been working so hard, you don’t even remember how to have fun. Come on, what did you do in your training days to relax?”

You think back and try to remember. Most of your memories from training are a blur of hard work, endless studying and practice. You’re about to confess that you really have no idea, when a single memory breaks to the surface, and like a dam, it releases a flood of other times you’d taken breaks. Sneaking out to get snacks, late night adventures, stargazing on the rooftop, all of the rare little pockets of time that you could call your own, and they all had one connecting factor.

“Music,” you breathe, feeling like you just stepped out of a time warp. “Listening to music, really, really loudly.”

Sascha laughs, a proud smile adorning her dimpled cheeks. “I think you know how to kick off your vacation, then.”

You find yourself grinning, too. “Thanks, Sasch.” You feel like maybe you should stay on the line a bit longer. You two really have some catching up to do, even though once you’d started talking, it had felt like no time had passed since you’d last seen her.

But Sascha makes your decision for you, blowing you a kiss. “There are tons of music streaming apps. Go crazy. And call me if you need anything, okay?”

The simple act of her being supportive of your wellbeing has you feeling overwhelmed all over again, but this time, it’s not from emotional distress. “Thanks, Sascha. Same to you.”

You’re about to end the call when you hear a door open on Sascha’s end of the line. She looks off camera and a smile pops up on her face. “Antione, come over here!” She yells, running off screen and returning a moment later, dragging a boy behind her, who seems to be grumbling in protest of her manhandling. “Antione, say hi! This is Antione from the group chat.”

The guy seems more than a little ticked off at Sascha, but when he catches sight of you on the screen, his mouth falls open.

“Oh… hello.” He flashes a smile, and his icy blue eyes are now filled with wonderment. “You’re the Primary for BTS?”

“Hi,” You wave a little awkwardly. “Yup, that’s me.” You can’t help noticing how strikingly similar he and Sascha look. With those crystal eyes and buttery blonde hair, you could mistake them for twins, the only difference being Antione’s thinly framed glasses next to Sascha’s 20/20 vision. But you suppose he wouldn’t really need glasses to have sex, they’d surely get knocked around or broken if he left them on. He probably wears contacts for work.

In fact, his similar appearance to his coworker can’t be a coincidence, especially if they’re both Primaries for their clients, and it leads you to believe that perhaps all of their Primaries bear a resemblance to each other, so that any combination of fuck dolls could be considered a set. From this, you suspect that their clients may be into incestuous role play, or perhaps they like the idea of fucking someone’s “sibling”.

Not concrete evidence, but it’s not a far reach. You’ve seen plenty of stranger kinks.

You’ll have to ask Sascha about it on your next call with her, as you’re sure she’ll ask you more about what things your clients usually request of you. With one girl among seven men, she might presume that they enjoy gangbanging you.

She wouldn’t be wrong, of course.

Kink talk was a common pastime among your peers during your training. You all had been trained to analyze a person, what makes them tick, and how it’s related to their psyche. It had always fascinated you from an academic standpoint, even though some of your fellow trainees would prefer hearing about the dirtiest cases, regardless of the psychological factors that went into it.

“Is all going well? You feeling any better about all this?” Antione’s kind voice tears you out of your thoughts, and you give him a brief, grateful smile.

“I’m getting there,” you reply. “Thank you for all your help. It’s been… a lot to take in, and I’m glad that you recognized that, and helped me ease into it.”

“Not a problem. I’ve been in that position before, and it takes some adjusting, for sure,” he replies.

“That’s what she said.” Sascha snickers. “Alright, stop flirting, you two!” She shoves Antione offscreen, and the boy yelps at once again being pushed around. “Call me if you need me, babes! Have fun! Bye!”

Sascha reaches over and ends the call, and you’re once more on your own. But you don’t feel as isolated as before.

As long as you have your ComGear, you’ll never be alone again.

The thought makes you feel warm inside, though you scold yourself for being so sentimental. You need to recharge, or how did Sascha put it? Rejuvenate.

It doesn’t take long for you to find a decent music streaming app, though it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore the buzzing as your clients keep messaging you. You realize that the notifications might interrupt your music once it starts playing, so you reluctantly open all their chat threads, only to mute them.

There. Now it won’t buzz anymore. They shouldn’t care if you left them on read. They want you to rest, right? You huff derisively and start searching the vast music library, trying to recall what you used to listen to back in the day to pump yourself up.

It dawns on you while you browse that you haven’t listened to any music for the past six months, apart from whatever the boys are rehearsing at any given time. The sound always reaches you whenever they practice, even if they’re rooms away. Though their songs aren’t too bad, they’re still not something you had chosen to listen to.

You hadn’t taken any time to be yourself, since you were so busy trying to be what they want from you.

You feel a vague sort of sadness when you think about it like that, imagining it happening to someone else, but you’re too subjective of the situation to really feel sad for yourself. You hadn’t take time for yourself, however you still climbed the ranks, earned their favor, became their only Primary. You’d achieved your goals.

But at what cost, asks a little voice in your head. What did you lose to win your dream job?

And are you even happy with it? Or is it just the satisfaction that you crave? The satisfaction that you would feel after achieving any other goal? The satisfaction of a job well done?

You shake your head. Whoa there. Too deep.

This is the most mental airspace you’ve had in forever, and it’s starting to show.

You don’t waste any more time trying to remember your old favorites, and instead tap on a “Hot 100 Hits” playlist. It’ll be interesting to see what people are listening to now. Maybe you’ll find some new favorites.

Sure enough, the first song that comes on is a pop rock tune, with a catchy beat and heavy drums. It makes you bob your head and you feel a surge of instant regret at not making more time for music. You’d forgotten how it can take you somewhere else, clear your mind and help you forget all your worries in a way that sex never can.

You’re a bit jarred when the lyrics kick in, though. They don’t rhyme at all, and they seem a little… stilted, like a robot is trying to sing. Damn, is this what kids are listening to these days? You knew that those singing hologram voice programs used to be a thing, but this seems almost unintentional.

You check the screen and sure enough, it’s a Korean title staring back up at you.

Your auditory auto-translation chip is changing the song into verbatim English.

You start to laugh. The unintended consequence strikes you as ridiculous. It seems that reminders of your job are everywhere.

With a sigh of exasperation, you head into the settings of your ComGear and access the language screen. You turn off the auditory auto-translation, and the song reverts back to the original lyrics, which are much easier on the ears.

Now that that’s taken care of, you turn the music on full blast and stand up.

Alright. Music, check. Now... how to leisure?

You look around and assess your room. It’s relatively tidy, and cleaning it won’t take more than ten minutes. You could work out, you have plenty of equipment. But that’s what you usually do on your days off. Improve yourself for work the next day.

What would Sascha say? Maybe… guilty pleasures? You put your mind to coming up with the most self-indulgent thing you can imagine.

Of course, you immediately think of chocolate.

But you’re not really hungry. To be honest, your stomach is still a little knotted up from the meeting.

Maybe not that kind of self-indulgence. You’ll just feel guilty afterwards. Maybe… maybe something pointless. Something that’s fun just for the sake of being fun.

You whirl around and take a long look at your bed as the music sweeps into the chorus.

Fuck, why not? Who’s going to stop you?

You climb onto the mattress and start jumping. You feel pretty silly at first, but the longer you jump, the lighter your worries feel. It’s as if you’re leaving them in the air with every bounce. The music blasts from your night table and you get a little bolder with your jumps, really putting power into them.

You’re lucky you have high ceilings, as you go higher and higher, you could swear you’re flying. You start to laugh, throwing some twirls into your leaps, and as the music blares, you sing along, off-key and with nonsensical phonetic lyrics.

Your cheeks hurt by the end of the song, and you’re out of breath, giggles falling from your lips as you finally jump down into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

When was the last time you jumped on the bed like this? Must have been when you were young, with your sister.

You feel the same dull ache you always feel when you think of her, though you normally make it a point not to do so. The memory must have slipped past your defenses while you were enjoying yourself.

Lost in your thoughts, you almost don’t hear the insistent pounding at your door, the music and thick walls muffling the sound. You had mistaken the noise for part of the lyrics, as they sounded like gibberish to you. But finally you noticed the person trying to get your attention, and you hurry over to the door as they continue to speak in tongues.

“Neo geogi an-e issni? Yah, mun-eul yeol-eola.”

You pull open the door and are met with the unreadable face of Min Yoongi.

“Gwaenchanh-a? Jeonhwaleul an bad-eusyeossneyo.” He continues to drawl in gibberish, and you merely stare at him, immensely confused.

It clicks for you a moment later, and you hold up a finger to him. “Um, hana… uh, shit, one sec.”

He gives you an equally confused look, and you hasten back to your ComGear to turn the auto-translate back on as well as pause the music. “There, that should do it.” You turn around to see him peering curiously at you.

“You were speaking English,” he says it halfway between a question and a statement. He must be used to hearing you speaking auto-translated Korean, just like you’re used to hearing his words in English.

“Yeah... I forgot to turn my translator back on.” You explain halfheartedly, your shields already locking back into their familiar place. It was a nice, if brief, moment of total freedom, just jumping around to music, but the carefree bubble has popped, and you're once more faced with reality.

Yoongi's eyebrow raises at the mention of the technology, but he merely shrugs a shoulder.

A few awkward moments of silence pass before you realize that he isn't going to explain himself on his own. Something about that, about the expectation for you to move things along, has your hackles raised in irritation.

Just like always, he's expecting you to do all the work.

"Did you need something?" You try to stay professional, even now, but you can't keep the edge out of your voice. All traces of your previous enjoyment have shriveled up and vanished in the face of the man who told your other clients that you were something replaceable.

He prods his cheek with his tongue, his face mask shifting from where it rests below his lips. "You weren't answering your phone," he says by way of an answer.

You stare at him, already growing weary of this interaction. Does he expect you to be as accessible as you were before? You don't plan on contacting any of them if you can help it, at least, not for right now.

Wait, did Namjoon tell them what happened? He must have. But if he didn't, then maybe that's why Yoongi is here. There’s no point in having any more misunderstandings; you have to make the situation clear.

"I'm suspended." Your voice grows quiet, and you look off into the hallway, shame coloring your cheeks. You know you shouldn't be, but you still feel a sting from vocalising your current demotion.

Yoongi gives a hum of affirmation, confirming that he already knew, as his eyes roam over your body. "Forbidden fruit..."

You tense, your body reacting involuntarily to his offhand comment as heat rushes to your core. Your most primal senses want him to give into the temptation and pin you against the wall... No, snap out of it. You’re still mad at him, no matter how attractive he may be.

But thankfully the moment of tension passes just as quickly, and his gaze returns to your face. "It’s a shame I already ate, unlike some people.” A flicker of humor in his eyes. “Here."

He hands you a paper bag, with a takeout logo on the front. You can't do anything but stare at it. It seems that your processors are still down for maintenance.

“You didn’t have breakfast.” Yoongi finally says, after it becomes clear you aren’t saying anything. “You’ve been up here since the meeting.”

It finally dawns on you, though the logical conclusion seems hard to believe. “You were… concerned about me?”

He tugs the face mask up over his mouth, concealing most of his expression. “Jungkook,” he corrects you with a slight cough. “He sent me up here. Poor kid was worried sick about you.”

You hesitate to take the food, even though your stomach is curling with hunger. Is this an attempted peace offering? Does he think this will make things better?

Before you can question his motives, he sighs and shoves the bag towards you. “Take it. You still have to eat, you know.”

You’re tired of fighting, and take the path of least resistance by accepting the bag. “Thanks,” you say, half-hoping that this will be the end of it and he’ll just leave. But the other half still holds the whimsical notion that he actually cared enough to check up on you.

“It’s fine,” Yoongi shrugs again, looking off to the side.

You'd only ever known Min Yoongi as a salacious dom, stuffing you full and showering you in filthy praises. It feels surreal to be standing here now, holding a normal conversation.

After another moment, it becomes clear that his business here isn’t finished, and quite frankly, you’re getting impatient. “Is there anything else?”

At this, he seems to remember his reason for coming. “Ah, yeah. Can I come in?”

Into your room? You blink in dismay, the answer should be obvious to him. “No.”

You think you can see his mouth lift into a smile beneath the mask. “Good. That’s the spirit.” He gives a slight nod, as if appraising your disobedience.

You aren’t sure if this is normal behavior for him, as you’ve barely spoken to him out of character. You know probing him about it will only drag out this interaction, but your curiosity gets the better of you. “What… what are you talking about?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I’m just glad to see that you have some backbone. You’re usually so willing to follow orders.”

You bristle at this. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he says, lifting an eyebrow. It would have looked like a challenge if it had been more deliberate, but the way Yoongi carries himself is effortlessly casual and careless. "He gave you his key, right?"

It takes you a moment to discern that he’s talking about Namjoon. You nod once, and he scoffs.

"I knew he would. Poetic bastard." Yoongi sighs, then fixes his gaze to you once more. “That means I have to share my studio with him until all this is fixed.” He clicks his tongue in annoyance.

You aren’t sure how to reply, or if he’s even looking for one. If he wants an apology from you, he’s out of luck. Namjoon’s questionable decisions are not your fault.

But he doesn’t wait for any words from you, and instead turns around to go back downstairs. “Anyway, enjoy your break.”

“Wait.” You aren’t sure why you stop him. Maybe because he doesn’t seem like the type to bullshit you. “Min Yoongi.”

He pauses and looks over his shoulder at the sound of his name, an indiscernible expression in his eyes.

Your resolve turns to steel, using the last ounce of your strength to try and get some answers. “Tell me what’s going on. Why is he doing this?”

Yoongi glances up to the ceiling as though thinking of what to say.

His next words do not inspire confidence.

“I have no fucking idea.”

Your shoulders slump down a fraction. You aren’t sure you believe him, but it’s too much effort to hope for anything beyond his word. You can’t handle any more disappointment right now.

Yoongi scratches the side of his temple and gives a weary sigh. “If I could look inside his mind, then maybe I’d have a clue...” He stares at you intently, and his gaze trails down over your body again. You resist the urge to cover yourself, though now you realize you don’t have to resist. Your body doesn’t belong to him right now, and it won’t for the next several days.

Your arms cross themselves protectively over your chest, testing the waters of your newfound independence. “My eyes are up here, byeongsin.”

His eyes widen a fraction at your cheek. He tugs the face mask down below his chin again, a bewildered smile twitching onto his face, no doubt surprised to hear you cursing him out in Korean. “Who taught you that?”

“Taehyung.” You smirk, proud of yourself for catching him off guard for once. You remember when Tae had told you how surreal it sounded to hear you swearing in his language.

“Doesn’t it sound the same?” You ask him, confusion furrowing your brow. “The translator…”

Taehyung shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear and practically bouncing from excitement. “It sounds different! Like… like you have an accent,” he giggles. “Say it again.”

“Shibal.” You repeat the word hesitantly, the syllables feeling strange on your tongue. Mouth shapes for Korean are so different compared to English.

Taehyung bursts into a fit of laughter, clutching his sides as he rolls onto his back. You whack him with a couch cushion. “That’s not fair! You already know all the English profanities.”

Tae’s eyes dance with laughter as he sits back up. “All thanks to Namjoon-hyung. Shit, bastard, damn it to hell, and of course...” He sticks out his tongue, running it over his lips. “Fuck you.”

There’s a flutter in your stomach from the look he’s giving you. You snort and whack him with the pillow again. “Yup, you got all the highlights.”

His hand slides over your thigh. You meet his gaze, that flutter returning as you see the lust swirling like smoke in his pupils. “Jagiya...” His hand grazes farther up your thigh. “I want to fuck you.”

Things had obviously escalated after that, and you might have gotten lost in the memories if Yoongi hadn’t let out a low chuckle, bringing you back to the moment. “Wow. What else did he teach you?”

You grin, about to let loose a string of foul language, but he holds up a hand before you can, waving off whatever you’re about to say. “Nah, forget it. Leave it a surprise.”

“I’m full of them, you know.” You can’t help feeling a little proud.

“I know.” He stares at you for another moment before turning and heading downstairs. “Make sure to eat,” he calls over his shoulder, and soon enough his footsteps fade away.

A warm feeling fills your chest in his absence, and you can’t quite explain why. His last words prove that he must care about you a little, even if he doesn’t try to show it. The Yoongi you just spoke with feels like a completely different person than the one you overheard in the kitchen. Different even than the one at dinner, who suggested Seokjin should use another slut in your absence.

The memory taints the feeling of warmth, and you sigh. Why are things so fucking complicated?

You head back into your room and devour the takeout with less grace than would be expected for a seductress such as yourself, and mindlessly scroll through your ComGear, which is now more of a standard cellphone, exploring all the newly accessible features.

You’ve missed a lot of news, both locally and globally. Celebrity gossip. Politics. Entertainment.

Wait, whoa. What?

New Witness “B” Comes Forward About Sexual Manipulation in the K-Pop Industry

Sorry, what?

You click the article, your mind reeling with morbid fascination. Why would there still be any “manipulation” now that groups are given PhysComs? Why would they need any other sexual outlet, when they’re given vessels that are willing to serve?

Our witness, who wishes to remain anonymous, has independently corroborated with Witness A’s story. “B” has told us that, like “A”, they weren’t given a choice when it came to filming private sessions with their clients.

“[Group] told me that it was my job. That it was what I was there for. But they filmed me without my consent. They posted the videos online and made money from it. It’s not right. I got out, but there are still others like me who need help. It shouldn’t matter that sex work is against the law. What these people are doing, taking advantage of us… it should be just as illegal. We need a voice, too.”

You may recall that Witness A’s shocking story from earlier this month sparked rumors about illegal sexual companions being provided to entertainment companies, a practice which up until now had been considered hearsay.

However, with this new testimony, it seems that “A” may have had some truth to their story. We tried to contact [Group]’s agency, but they were unavailable for comment.

Holy shit… you had no idea any of this was happening. Thinking on it, it stands to reason that not every PhysCom is treated equally, given the vast multitude of people who have access to them. But where are these PhysComs’ handlers? Why aren’t their networks helping them?

You find polarizing comments beneath the article, most angry that the companies would allow the sex work to take place, very few praising B’s decision to speak out, and some disbelieving that PhysComs even exist. There are also a few very lengthy comments that catch your eye, demonizing the witnesses and making threats towards other companies, should the commenter’s “oppas” be caught in this scandal, too.

You feel uneasy as you click away from the article. The rest of the takeout is put away in your mini fridge, your appetite gone as you try to make sense of things.

That article gives you the feeling that something is happening, not just here in this house, but in the world. Like floating pieces of a magnetic puzzle, you know they’ll all come together somehow, eventually, but you still can’t see the big picture.

You send the article to the group chat, and they confirm that they’ve seen it.

[ PCsv02_svt ]: scary, right? TT-TT [ PCsv02_svt ]: I don’t know what I’d do if I were them, poor thing [ PCsv03_twc ]: they should’ve gone to the police [ PCsv04_blp ]: why did they wait until now to come forward? [ PCsv03_twc ]: if my clients ever treated me badly I would have done something [ PCsv09_$px ]: it’s not always that simple [ PCsv01_svt ]: yes consider the repercussions… [ PCsv01_svt ]: an illegal sex worker reporting nonconsensual sex? [ PCsv01_svt ]: that’s like a robber reporting another robbery

You mull over this as you let them debate the topic. You imagine what it must be like to be in that position, taken advantage of by your clients… you shiver at the cold injustice of it.

There is a certain degree of trust that's employed in any kind of sex work. You're still offering intimacy in some form, which can't be fully given without trust. It must be utterly horrific to see that trust broken and be unable to stop it.

You want to help these people somehow, but right now you need to help yourself. One sea of turmoil at a time.

You click out of the chat and switch to each conversation with your clients, copy and pasting the same message to each of them.

Please don't contact me for the rest of the day. I need time alone.

Since you're suspended, you figure they can't punish you for making yourself unavailable. Though it pains you to think of them relying on the other PhysComs at their disposal. Seokjin already has. You forcibly push away the thoughts every time they bounce against your mind.

With the boys out of the way, you assess your options. You need more information about what the hell is happening, and the most likely place you'll find it is obvious. What did Yoongi say? If he could look inside Namjoon's mind… then he'd have an idea.

You happen to have the key to his mind right in your belt.

-------

It's surprisingly difficult to sneak out of the house without alerting anyone. You left your door locked and music blaring. Between that and the text you sent, you thought leaving from your window would be a piece of cake.

You neglected to account for the height.

Your room is on the third story, too far to jump without damaging yourself. Thankfully, you've seen enough movies to have the idea of fashioning a rope out of extra bed sheets. Unfortunately, bed sheets are not the best rope material. Too slippery.

You mull over what to do for a few moments, and you laugh out loud when you realize that the solution is absurdly simple. Hello? You have literal ropes in among your sex toys. Even better, they're designed not to give the user rope burn, while still knotting like a dream.

It doesn't take long to shimmy down from your window to ground level, and you stash the end of the rope behind some bushes, planning to use it later to return to your forbidden tower.

Disguised in a hoodie, you feel like a spy in an action movie, or a runaway princess, and the thought makes you giggle as you make your way towards the nearest subway station.

It's been too long since you've ventured out of the house. You had nearly forgotten how invigorating the bustle of the city could be. You feel like you’re breathing fresh air for the first time in ages, though the pollution in the distant sky would say otherwise.

It only takes a quick search on your jailbroken ComGear to find the address of the building where Namjoon's studio is located. BigHit Entertainment.

You'll have to be careful not to encounter the others. They probably frequent their record label, and the last thing you need is to bump into one of them. You would have no explanation for yourself as to why you're here. You'd rather avoid the questions.

Unfortunately, it proves harder than you’d think to get into the building. A fingerprint ID scanner meets you just inside the auxiliary door.

Fuck. It’s too much to hope that they have your prints in their database, right? You place your thumb over the scanner, and it buzzes, the sensor light turning red. No go.

Well shit, what are you supposed to do now? You’ve come all this way, and you wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for Namjoon’s stupid key.

Wait, why the hell did he give you the key if he knew you couldn’t get into the building? Bastard. You groan and kick at the base of the door. You try your prints again, but none of your fingers grant you access, the scanner buzzing mockingly with each failed attempt.

You’re about to give up when you hear a voice behind you. “Here, let me.”

You swivel around and see Jeon Jungkook place his thumb on the scanner, a to-go cup in his hand and a duffle bag on his shoulder. The light turns green and the door whooshes aside to let him in. The lift in his brows tells you he recognizes you through your flimsy disguise, but he merely gestures for you to go ahead. You sheepishly walk through, knowing better than to question this stroke of good fortune.

Or bad fortune, as it turns out.

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook asks quietly, once you two are inside the sleek lobby. "You said you wanted to be left alone."

"I did," you confirm huffily, still embarrassed about your struggle to get inside the building. "I do."

"Then... why are you here?" He takes a look around the lobby, where a handful of people are milling about. “It’s not really a good place for being alone.”

You chew your lip. This is the most Jungkook has ever spoken to you. You consider coming up with a story, but it occurs to you that you don't actually know where Namjoon's studio is located inside the building. You’ll need a guide.

"Namjoon said I could use his studio," you explain, deciding to include as few details as possible about your reasons for being here.

"For what?" His brow furrows.

Why all the questions? You’ve always thought of Jungkook as timid, more the type to stay out of the way if someone is up to something, rather than grilling them. But for all you know, maybe he gets assertive in the workplace. It doesn’t matter. You have bigger concerns right now. "To release my first single, obviously,” you snark, crossing your arms. "Look, I’m here for research, okay? You can either help me, or stay out of my way."

His eyes widen. He's never heard you speak to him as yourself, let alone this brazenly. But to your surprise, he nods. “Okay. What can I do to help?”

Well, damn. You didn’t think he would actually agree. It could be that he wants to report what you do to the other boys, acting like a spy. But you’re only here because Namjoon gave you that key. He can’t fault you for using the collateral that he gave you, right?

Fuck it, you’re tired of second guessing. Now is the time for action. Fuck the consequences.

“Where’s Namjoon’s studio?” You ask him, an edge in your voice. “Show me.”

Jungkook hesitates for only a moment, and then nods. He looks wary, almost nervous, and you have to wonder why. Even with your confidant demands, he still has the power in this situation, as always. You’re a nobody who couldn’t even get in the door without his help, and he actually works here. He could have you thrown out, if he wanted.

The thought sends a bolt of worry right to your chest, and you decide to do everything you can to not remind him of that fact.

After a strangely tense elevator ride, Jungkook silently leads you down several corridors until you come across a frosted glass door.

“Here,” he says, gesturing towards the door.

“This is it?” You ask to confirm, and he nods.

You take a deep breath and retrieve the key from your belt. His eyes widen as you slot the key into the lock, and with a gentle twist, the handle turns.

“Where-” Jungkook’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, and you turn around to shush him.

“It was a gift,” you explain icily. “Now, if you’re going to help me, then stay right here and make sure no one comes in, got it?”

His lips purse in suspicion and his eyes narrow, but he nods. “Fine.”

Satisfied, you turn back to the door, and it’s only then that you notice the keypad beneath the lock. Clearly the silver key Namjoon gave you isn’t the only way into his studio, as he had previously implied. Some collateral.

More and more doubts fill your thoughts, but you have no energy left to hesitate as you carefully pull the door open and slip inside their leader’s forbidden sanctuary.

-------

It’s much smaller than you thought. Really, only the size of your walk-in closet.

The silence in the room is palpable, the only noise stemming from the gentle purr of electronics. Your gaze gets stuck on all the collectibles he has on display, all around the room, in glass cases and on shelves. Mickey Mouse bodies, with skulls and crossbones for heads. Everything is black, white, and shades of gray.

They make up the only distraction in the room, but they’re everywhere.

You then notice the only clear surface, or relatively clear, as his desk, opposite the door. A grand computer screen sits front and center, with various equipment stacked around it, and a piano keyboard on a tray beneath the glass desktop.

You hasten across the carpeting, and gingerly pull out his desk chair, plush leather with a high back, ergonomically designed.

It feels like a siren will go off at any moment. You aren’t supposed to be here. You’re intruding.

But you need answers. He gave you the key.

You shake off your sense of foreboding and sit down, swiveling yourself into place. A quick shake of the mouse wakes up his computer.

Fuck.

You need a password. Of course. Nothing in your life can be simple.

After a few moments of muttering and seething in frustration, you try to calm down. Okay, so maybe this won’t be an in and out procedure, maybe this will take a little more thought.

Okay, think, think… what would he use for his password?

“It’s ‘monimoni0613’.”

The voice scares you shitless, and you swivel around to see Jungkook poking his head in the door. He gives you a half smile. “And that’s in Korean. You want help?”

You clutch your chest. “Fuck, don’t scare me like that!” You snap at him, though he doesn’t seem particularly intimidated. How does Namjoon even work with his back to the door like this? You’d be constantly looking over your shoulder. Is he really that trusting of people?

Jungkook doesn’t wait for your answer and comes inside, letting the door fall gently shut behind him. “It’s after his dog,” he says, leaning over you to access the keyboard and quickly type in the password. He smells like shampoo.

Your heart picks up the pace as he hovers over you, his eyes trained on the screen. He’s only inches away from you, his necklace dangles in front of your face in a way that you should not find tantalizing.

“His dog’s name is Moni?” You ask, trying to tell your heart to kindly get a grip. You’re on a mission, no time for horniness.

“Well, ah… yeah. Let’s go with that.” Jungkook makes a slight noise of triumph as the computer unlocks, Namjoon's desktop wallpaper greeting you - yet another skull-headed Mickey.

"Wait, how do you know his password?" You can't help but ask. After the ordeal you went through just to get to his inner sanctum, this feels too easy.

"He lets me use his computer sometimes, for gaming, and stuff…" the boy trails off, looking elsewhere as though embarrassed.

"Okay…" You stare at him. "Thanks for helping."

"You're welcome."

There's an awkward silence.

"Go wait outside." You say.

"Yup." He ducks back out of the room, leaving you to your investigating once more.

You exhale once you're alone again. Okay, where to start? You scan his desktop, but the icons are surprisingly neat. A few programs, a few shortcuts, a few folders, all of which prove fruitless.

The folders contain music program files of what appear to be songs still in the works. Although interesting, not really what you're looking for.

Jesus, how could he trust you with all this? You could leak these to the public. You could sell them, and never have to worry about job security again...

He must be fucking desperate to put his entire career in your hands.

Just like your career currently rests in his own.

You shake off the idea of selling the insider information. Although tempting, right now all you really want is answers as to why the fuck he's doing any of this in the first place. Why did he suspend you? Why did things stop? You had a spotless record up until last night, so… what changed?

You check his recent files next, and happen to find exactly what you're looking for.

Theory - draft for proposal

Seems like a solid lead.

You click the link, and a word document opens up. Unfortunately in Korean.

Of course. Of course he would write in his native language, and of course, it’s only your ComGear that translates messages from the boys, you don’t have bionic vision. There are a few random English words scattered here and there, but not nearly enough to make heads or tails of what the document is about. You could use an online translator, but you need a full understanding of this material, there’s no room for error here.

Should you ask Jungkook? No, you should not. He seems innocent enough, but your sense of self-preservation now overrides any trust you might have once given him. You bite back a groan of frustration and instead mutter a few choice expletives through a heavy, weary sigh.

Then you get an idea.

If your ComGear is what usually does your translating, why not just send this there?

You fumble to highlight the document, then copy it and head over to Namjoon’s email. Yikes. Lots and lots of unread. Well, you can’t blame him with his hectic schedule. You skip over a couple of emails at the top that appear to be from law firms, and instead click to compose a new message.

Fuck, this will leave a trail, won’t it? If he checks his sent emails, he’ll see that you saw… whatever this turns out to be.

It doesn’t matter. He gave you access to this room. He knew the potential consequences.

You paste the body of the document, type in your email address and hit send. Not moments later, there’s a chime on your ComGear, and sure enough, an email has arrived. You don’t get much correspondence these days, apart from your network. Well, your old network. Now your phone constantly has notifications from the chatroom. It feels strangely comforting.

Without another moment’s hesitation, you tap the email and anxiously wait for it to load, praying that the automatic translation feature doesn’t fail you now.

Soon, the English text appears, and your worries are put to rest within the first line.

We must build a brighter future for PhysComs.

#bts #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts x reader smut #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts ot7 #bts ot7 smut #bts smut fic #bts fic rec #yoongi x reader #jungkook x reader #thank you all for enjoying physcom! <3

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