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americasass81 · 1 year

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No Good Deed

Warnings:- Dark Themes Mentioned or Implied Include Consensual Non-Consensual Sex, Fingering, M & F Smut, Implied Breeding, Political Violence and Betrayal, Mentions of Nightmares and Trauma. Do not read if any of these warnings are upsetting. Feedback is welcomed.

By proceeding you are acknowledging that you are over 18 and are consenting to the content below the cut.

Author’s Note:- This is for @saiyanprincessswanienie 3.5k Followers Writing Challenge (Damn but this was a hard one). Congratulations Missy, you continue to amaze me with the kindness and friendship you so easily extend to any of us lucky enough to interact with you. Forever grateful for all you do for this community and fandom, here’s to your next big follower milestone. No one deserves it more than you. lyl💞💞

Challenge Prompt 24:- I miss your warmth.

Author’s Note 2:- As always, all images have been found through google search.

Pairing:- soft/dark!Steve Rogers x Reader

Synopsis:- Crossing paths with a recovering super soldier, just how much is your life likely to change?

Word Count:- 4,871

Walking carefully through the corridors so as not to impede the doctors, nurses and orderlies milling around the place while performing their life-saving duties, you nodded politely to the two heroes sitting talking together outside the bustling hospital room as you passed by to begin your daily visits.

Like most people in this particular hospital, you too had witnessed the chaos and upheaval caused by recent events. But you had tried to steer clear of it. Nothing against the agents, heroes or government law enforcement officers that had spent the last few weeks disturbing the peace of these sterile halls, but patients who ended up here had usually been through enough and the S.T.R.I.K.E. agents especially didn't give off a feeling of peace and safety. Quite the opposite really. Still this was neither your problem to solve then or apparently anyone else's to solve now.

Back now to what passed for a busy, yet smoothly running hospital, Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff were now the only reminder of the extraordinary events that had taken place within these walls. At least outside of that particular hospital room anyway. Behind the closed door where doctors finished up making Steve Rogers as comfortable as possible, the anticipation for news of his condition and the fallout from his actions still lingered in the air while his friends waited to finally be granted access to him. But that was two days ago.

Taking up residence now in the chair on the right side of the bed as Marvin Gaye's Trouble Man emanated from what looked like an ipod, Sam had hated to leave him alone. The thought of Steve Rogers waking up alone once again without a human face to greet him for the second time in his short life didn't sit well with him, but his choices were sadly limited. Given what had happened at the Potomac and the idiots in Washington baying for blood, his attention was currently needed to back up Natasha, which is how you ended up here.

Being a volunteer who gave up her free time to just sit with patients who had no one in this world to visit with them or simply give a few hours relief to a family member that had an errand they had to run or just needed a decent shower and nap in their own bed, the food, drinks and magazines you brought Sam had been greatly appreciated. But nowhere near as appreciated as your attitude. Having read about and admired Captain America since you were a child, you unlike most other people, were able to set aside the fan girl persona and see the fragile human buried beneath the cuts, bruises, wires and hospital bedding. Sitting haphazardly on the other chair some orderly had procured as the super soldier still slept next to you, your mind had trouble focusing now on the book in your hands as you wondered what he must be going through.

Having woken up in a time no longer his own to discover only fragments of the world he once knew, he had set aside his own pain and given this new world the hero it deserved. Throwing himself back into service by working tirelessly to fulfill Erskine's legacy and honor Bucky's sacrifice, the last few months had shattered the illusion that this new time was any different than the one he had left behind.

Beginning with the revelation that the United States government still believed in ending wars before they had even begun, this time through advanced weaponry, the hits just kept on coming when an attempt to assassinate S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury before his eyes had revealed that the World War II criminal group known as HYDRA still functioned and with the help of his newly discovered friend James Buchanan Barnes, now operating under the moniker of The Winter Soldier, had successfully infiltrated various levels of government and was finally ready to seize control of this new world.

Standing up to their tyranny once again as he always had and fighting his one time friend in a brutal battle which landed him here and left a massive wreck in the middle of the Potomac river, not to mention the Black Widow's dumping of every U.S. secret intelligence file, both S.H.I.E.L.D. and HYDRA alike, your heart couldn't help but go out to him and wonder what now lay ahead for the First Avenger. Could he rally once more and continue being the hero he always was? Would the government even let him? Or would this be the final act of betrayal that broke him and revealed that in the end all he really was is human?

Closing your book as your eyes now lingered over the monitors recording every aspect of his condition, this train of thought was easily lost to you however when Sam Wilson returned and thanked you for watching over his friend as he sank into his usual spot beside Steve's bed. Smiling tenderly at him as you tried to figure out how he too was not currently occupying one of the hospital rooms like his friend, you quickly shook the thought away as you stifled a yawn while handing Sam a piece of paper with your phone number and told him to call you anytime if he needed anything. Thanking you once again before saying goodbye, you then left the heroes behind and headed off to the next patient who needed a friendly smile and a kind word.

And so that's how the first few days of this extraordinary adventure had begun. Stopping by throughout the day between your regulars, as you liked to call them, you'd drop off a few welcome items for Sam or Natasha before asking after Steve and then moving on to those who were without friends or family. But nights however were spent by his side when even earth's mightiest heroes couldn't circumvent the ban on visitors staying overnight. It was only after all your years of carefully cultivating relationships within the hospital hierarchy that got you around that particular obstacle. Which is why you were the one there when it happened.

Resting in your now usual chair as comfortably as possible, having been told by Sam that the patient had briefly awakened, your fitful sleep was interrupted by noises and shuffling from the room’s other occupant. Waking suddenly as the noises grew louder, you opened your bleary eyes to find the blond avenger caught in the grip of a nightmare you couldn't even dare to imagine. Rising from the chair and laying your hand carefully upon his massive chest, you bent closer to try and soothe his troubled mind.

"Mr. Rogers? Steve. If you can hear me, I need you to relax," you coaxed as your hand moved across his chest and trailed down his arm to grab a hold of his. Lacing your fingers through his as a means of being his anchor, your breath caught in your throat momentarily as he opened his eyes before you found your voice again and continued, "you're going to be all right. I'm here with you and you are not alone."

Turning his head now in acknowledgement of your presence, your eyes met briefly before he closed them again and fell back into the abyss from whence he had just emerged. And that became the pattern for the next two nights. Talking him down when he woke up calling for Bucky or just rambling some other incoherent mumbo jumbo while you waited until morning to relay the news to the doctors in the hopes that they would be able to help, your concern for him only grew with each new ray of morning sunshine as doctors confirmed that only time and perhaps therapy would alleviate these particular issues. And for that he would have to remain conscious.

And so it was that this became a secret that seemed to exist solely between you and Steve as the hospital fell into relative slumber and the closed blinds hid your comforting actions from the world outside. Which you suspected was part of the reason you now woke up during another visiting with him to find your head laying on his shoulder and your body flush against his. Embarrassing and unwelcome as that had been however, it paled in comparison to the revelation of Steve's position.

Opening your eyes to find his left hand resting on your ass while his right held yours over his crotch, feeling the warmth of the muscle beneath your palm was enough for you to search back through your mind for the particular memory of how this highly intimate yet wholly inappropriate situation had come to be. Remembering how once again his trauma had woken him to find you calming his inner storm, this time however he found his sane voice just long enough to beg you to lay beside him while he drifted back to sleep.

Hesitating long enough to see the pleading cloud his features, you quickly slipped off your boots and climbing carefully into the bed beside him, gingerly snuggled next to him as his breathing relaxed and both of you slowly returned to peaceful slumber. Now however morning had arrived and if you didn't want to be found in this compromising position, action needed to be taken. Carefully and successfully freeing yourself from his grasp, though his left hand proved a tad harder to release, you had just sat upright on the side of the bed when a strong palm settled on your back and alerted you to his ever improving condition.

"Hey there, is everything okay?" he asked, still somewhat hoarsely as his hand moved tenderly up and down the outline of your spine.

"Sure," you answered, turning your head slightly to look back at the rapidly healing super soldier. "I guess we just fell asleep again. Anyway, Sam will be here soon and I have a few other patients to visit with today," you replied as you moved from the bed to the chair on his other side and began lacing up your boots. A task that kept you so preoccupied that you failed to notice the despondent look that settled on the super soldier's features at the mention of you leaving him.

Reaching out his hand to you however as you finished this task, you took it and should have wondered what precisely he was thinking at the next words to leave his lips. "You were tired. You work too hard sweetheart. Promise me you won't stay here with other patients all day," he asked as he ran his fingers along the back of his hand. "I miss your warmth when you're not here," and kissing the back of your hand softly, you just had enough time to pull it away and compose yourself once more before Sam entered the room with what you suspected was some food and more magazines.

"Hey Steve. Pretty volunteer," he smiled as he moved past your now standing figure to sit himself in the chair you had only recently vacated. "How's our super soldier today, nurse?" he asked with a wink before pulling out a styrofoam cup and handing it to you.

"Thank you for this," you answered, taking the offered cup and bringing it carefully to your lips in the hopes the hot beverage inside would settle your nerves before continuing, "and you know I'm no nurse, Sam Wilson. Still," you said, turning your gaze now back to Steve, "he does appear to be improving every day. Hopefully in a few days he'll be able to go home," you smiled while failing once again to notice the dark cloud that settled on his features.

Giving Sam a quick note on things you felt the incoming doctor's should be aware of, at least as much as you were comfortable with, you then said your goodbyes to the two heroes, reminded Sam he could reach you on your phone if he needed anything and with a tender smile at Steve promised to be there again when Sam had to leave for the evening. Then heading down to your car, a quick trip home for a shower and breakfast had you back at the hospital in record time to try and distract yourself from the nightly events. A task which didn't go as smoothly as you hoped however..

Joining some of your favorite patients in the activity room for some games and a chat upon your return, it seemed word of the new celebrity had traveled far within these walls but unlike most youngsters, age had given the elderly residents a different perspective on the man who now refused to leave your thoughts even as he rested a couple of floors beneath your feet.

"I heard his speech was inspiring," Matilda mentioned to Audrey as you concentrated on the Scrabble letters before you and tried to ignore their conversation and the tugging on your heart.

"Well now that's hardly surprising," Jake interrupted from his spot by the window, "a fellow of his character and experience is bound to know words matter every bit as much as deeds. Mark my words, the man who takes up the shield after him will be made of the same grit and integrity."

"Wait Jake, what do you mean the man after him? Who said Steve is giving up the shield?" you interrupted as his words stole your attention from the game before you.

"Steve?" Matilda and Audrey both asked in unison with inquisitive glances you knew all too well would have you answering some awkward questions later but for now your full focus was reserved solely for the army veteran preparing to pass on some secret insight.

"Oh young one," Jake laughed, looking at you now and the other interested ladies with eyes filled with years of knowledge one could only acquire from all the life he had observed around him, "no one can carry on forever, not even a super soldier. And would we even want him to? Surely he has given enough and the man deserves to rest."

Turning back around to his jigsaw puzzle as your gaze returned to Matilda and Audrey's nodding heads, a part of you wondered what a world without the super soldier would look like but as the memory of his bruised body resting beside yours called out to you, you realized the old man was right. Steve had given more than one man ever should and deserved to find peace before he lost even more of himself. And it was still with this thought occupying your mind that you opened the door to Steve's room later that evening to find him sleeping soundly as the cares of the world currently seemed to have left him in peace.

Standing in the doorway noticing now for the first time the changes these past few days had brought, the conversations with your regulars made you realize something had to change. Looking more closely now to see the cuts and bruises all but gone you knew that unless Steve voluntarily walked away there was nothing much that could stop him. And that thought frightened you now more than any other.

Thinking back on what he had looked like the first day you saw him lying here all stitched up and shuddering at the nightmares that held him prisoner most nights as his consciousness slowly returned, a part of you wondered could Steve even walk away. What would it take for him to even contemplate passing on that burden to another person? It was a question that would have to await an answer however as a hand closed on your shoulder and a gentle "hi" brought you back to the present and all but gave you a heart attack at the same time.

"Shit Sam warn a girl before you sneak up on her," you replied quietly as you turned to face his now familiar presence while your hand rested on your heaving chest in an effort to calm your racing heartbeat.

"Sorry," he smiled and he couldn't help but notice the way your eyes flicked back to Steve and your body relaxed slightly upon noticing that sleep still held him in its embrace. Giving one last glance over at his friend, he then gently took you by the elbow and leading you outside, closed the door silently before sitting both of you on the empty seats he and Natasha had occupied the first time you saw them.

Handing you a drink as now seemed to be his other customary greeting, enough time had been spent in his and Natasha's presence now to know that something was bothering him. Reaching out your hand to grip his and reassure him that he could confide anything in you, you had to admit to being taken aback when Sam told you S.H.I.E.L.D. had suggested moving Steve to one of their own facilities to oversee his continued recovery and for added safety.

Furiously rising from the chair and reminding Sam in a less than favorable voice of all the pain S.H.I.E.L.D. had caused him, the eerie silence now descending on this bustling corridor was enough to tell you that your particular outburst was no longer a private matter between those who cared most for Steve Rogers.

"Sorry Sam," you replied somewhat calmer now while looking around and raising your hand slightly to let the ward nurses know all was well before continuing, "I know I'm just an ordinary civilian and I know they're not all bad, but surely you don't want a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent anywhere near him?" you asked, looking back once more towards the door that hid his resting form. Hearing his phone buzz once more and sighing as he looked at the caller ID, you knew from his resigned features that the conversation was over for now. Sam was needed elsewhere and you were now more determined than ever to somehow do what you could to shield Steve from any more harm. But what could someone like you possibly do?

Saying good night to Sam and closing the door between you, Steve and the outside world, your mind worried with what Sam had told you and the uneasy feeling taking root in your gut. Starting by once again shutting all the blinds that now made up your nightly routine, you took one look at Steve's sleeping form before walking back towards the door. Knowing in your heart it was not your place or within hospital protocol to lock the door and acknowledging that nothing you did would really be able to prevent determined S.H.I.E.L.D. agents from forcing their way inside, your instincts still told you that something was better than nothing.

Heading back to Steve's bedside and checking through his charts, machines and vitals, all the information practically confirmed the same thing ... he was now much closer to being recovered than he had been previously. Nodding your head and straightening your shoulders, you determined your course of action and set about putting it in motion. Picking up the spare chair that usually cradled your sleeping body when not soothing Steve through a nightmare, you walked back towards the door and turning the lock then placed the back of said chair under the handle for good measure. Then removing your shoes, you gingerly climbed up into the bed beside Steve and watched the door until sleep finally claimed you. But given recent events S.H.I.E.L.D. really should have been the least of your concerns.

Waking sometime later in the night to find yourself no longer clothed, Steve's fingers playing with your hardening nipples brought your current predicament into sharp focus. Calling out his name and squirming against him, Steve stopped what he was doing and laid you on your back before speaking.

"Hey sweetheart, if you want me to stop just say so," he whispered as your eyes now locked on his wandering hand and his eyes so blue and full of life for the time since arriving here flicked up to gauge your reaction.

Unable to think clearly or form any tangible words in that moment, his hand moving further down your body was the catalyst you needed however to spring into action. Bringing your hand up to his and thereby stopping it from reaching your now exposed pussy, you found your voice long enough to ask him what exactly he was doing and how you had ended up in your current state of undress.

"I'm sorry," he replied with a child-like smirk, twisting his hand up to face yours and locking your fingers together before continuing, "it's just that I woke up to find you lying next to me again and I guess in my addled state I yearned to feel your flesh against my palm. I find it oddly soothing," he finished and the look in his eyes reminded you of that first night he had begged you to lay beside him until he fell asleep. Focusing on this memory as his fingers flexed against yours, you now acknowledged that that may very well have been the beginning of your downfall.

Sighing deeply then as you thought of all the women the world over who would give anything to be in your current position, his lips beginning to explore your neck and shoulders appeared to be doing wonders at lowering your defenses as a moan you barely recognised as yours left your lips. Grinning now as his wet tongue joined his skillful lips and your hand felt looser in his grasp, the resulting "oh fuck, god" that next bubbled forth from your throat told him that perhaps you were more responsive to him than you were willing to admit and it only spurred him on more.

Continuing to suck and nibble along your neck as his hand left yours and made its way between your thighs, he was actually shocked when his digits came in contact with the wetness waiting there. But if you were honest with yourself it didn’t really throw you for a loop. Thinking back now to all the concern that had slowly started to creep into your thoughts of him, his fingers making their home within your channel now had you thinking totally different thoughts and as they somehow found a particular spot that had you clamping hard around him, you knew you were done for.

Begging now for him to apply more pressure and make you come, Steve proved himself every bit the gentleman you suspected him to be as he moved between your legs and tilted his hand at just the right angle to have you seeing stars. Writhing beneath him now as his fingers continued to caress your walls, his thumb moving up to press against your clit was the final stimulation you needed to lose yourself to the waves of pleasure assaulting your body as your release gushed out around him. Bending down then to lap it up as your ragged breathing made you fearful of passing out, the now impressive tool between Steve's legs that caught your eye told your night was far from over.

Flipping you over and laying you on your stomach, your blissed out state still didn't make you confused enough to not realize what was about to happen however. Feeling Steve's heavy weight pressing down upon you met the memory of exactly where you were and your senses snapped into sharp focus just as his warm breath ghosted by your ear.

"Now that I've shown you what my fingers can do are you ready to let my meat invade your pussy and drive you to heights you never dared imagine?"

Hiding your face in his pillow and trying not to laugh at this ridiculous question as the super soldier flexed his hips and ran his hard length against your still dripping folds, your squirming body gave him that extra confirmation he required. You weren't rejecting him. Bending forwards more now to rest his lips against your ear, your body froze momentarily as the words he murmured confirmed the situation you found yourself in.

"So glad you seem to be on board sweetheart, but if you really want us to continue you're gonna have to use your words," and taking the "yes please" that left your lips as his cue, the super soldier caught his head on your entrance and thrust home.

Crying out as he entered you, he kissed your hair and shushed your whimpers as he buried his massive length within you while still being kind enough to let you adjust to his intrusion. Murmuring words of comfort and encouragement in your ear, he didn't have long to wait before your body responded and he felt your hips squirm beneath him. Easing some of his considerable bulk off your smaller frame then while still reminding you of the power he held over you, the slapping of his hips against your ass as his powerful tool stretched you beyond your limits was enough to have your body coming around his cock for the first time while your constricting walls forced him to add his own release moments later.

Remaining painfully hard within you as his hips continued their punishing pace, you tried to reach back and slow his pace only to have Steve yank your hands behind your back and now pull you towards him in a way your body was most definitely not meant to bend. Pleading with him to remember that you weren't enhanced like he was, sanity prevailed thankfully as he eased up on his thrusts while still bringing your back flat against his chest so his phallus now hit you at a sharper angle that had you hurtling towards another orgasm even as the aftershocks of the first one still assaulted your trembling frame.

Coaxing you through your ongoing high as you now felt more of his cum flood your core, you might have thought about the consequences of his actions had he not been so bold as to paint a picture of the future he envisioned with you. Continuing to fuck you over and over and over again as one orgasm ended and another began, you thought you might pass out again but Steve telling you about finding Bucky and the three of you raising a massive family together coupled with him stopping just long enough to allow you regain some sense of self, proved enough to keep you fully aware of just how much thought he had put into your future together.

Finally feeling the change in his length that signaled him fucking you was just about over, Steve Rogers at last erased any doubts you had about his intentions as he laid both of you back on your sides while slipping a set of keys and a piece of paper into your hands. Looking down at what appeared to be an address that wasn't your home, you thought now that perhaps the doctors had been right about his trauma and resulting need for therapy, but his hands coming to circle your waist and rest against your tummy told you that despite your fears, you had agreed to most of this. Kissing you tenderly then as he drifted off to sleep, these same arms held firm which was exactly how morning's rays found you once again.

Opening your eyes to now find Steve wide awake, he kissed your hair and released you before sitting up in bed and telling you to get dressed. Moving gingerly as every part of your body ached, Steve continued to remind you of the life he had planned and whom you could turn to for assistance in his absence as he carefully began to remove any remaining bits of hospital equipment from his body.

Righting the room then back to its usual state before opening the blinds and unlocking the door, you had just about composed yourself when Sam appeared and was surprised to find Steve up and about and apparently all ready to head back out into the world. Informing his friend that he just needed a few minutes to say goodbye to you, pulling you gently into his arms as his forehead rested tenderly against yours, it was with a heart weighed down by the task ahead that Steve held your gaze and uttered the words you would carry with you until your paths would converge once more.

"Knowing you'll be here waiting guarantees I'm coming back to you. Now please, be my good girl and head to that address to protect the package I'm hoping we've created. I’ll be back as soon as Sam and I track down my friend," he finished before kissing you softly, turning to Sam and walking out the door leaving you to wonder just how good he was at keeping his word and whether or not your random act of kindness had landed you with more trouble than you possibly knew how to handle.

Tagging:- @saiyanprincessswanie

#missys3500challenge #soft!dark Steve Rogers x Reader

124 notes · View notes

yelena-bellova · 2 years

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Fault Line: Steve Rogers x F!Enhanced!Reader - Chapter Eleven

chapter ten - Chapter Eleven: Beloved Enemies - chapter twelve

Series Masterlist

Plot: Team Cap works to stop the helicarriers from launching and encounter more than their share of roadblocks.

Warnings: language, canon-typical violence, blood, gunshot wounds, near-death experiences, hospital setting,

Word Count: 8k

A/N: Hi! Life has gotten complicated and busy so my fix updates are even more infrequent than usual. For that, I apologize deeply. I hope this long chapter makes up for it!

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It was a strange feeling to wake up in Steve’s arms as if it was any ordinary Wednesday. When in actuality, we were about to change the structure of the world.

Just before we suited up, Hill came into the bunker and handed me a case I’d seen for the first time only days ago. “Before we went off the grid, I broke into your apartment and grabbed this,” she explained, “S.H.I.E.L.D. would have taken it.”

I thanked her and unlocked the case, pulling the white Tony Stark designed suit out and examining it. Knowing Tony, he couldn’t just make a simple suit. There were hidden features that would have to be experimented with at a later day.

As our bruised and bandaged group left the cave, the details of the plan were cemented. I would transport Steve, Sam, Hill and I a mile out from the Triskelion and enter through the back. Natasha would go undercover as a Council member, entering with security. Fury would fly himself in as soon as he received word from Natasha that things were secure. If we could execute everything perfectly, we could all come out of it alive.

Steve, Sam, Hill and I arrived at the Triskelion, looking at the massive building from a safe distance. Suddenly everything felt very real. I instinctively reached for Steve’s hand, taking comfort in the fact that what we were about to do, we’d do together.

“You ready for this?” he asked. “Not in the slightest,” I replied, turning to him with a sigh and a small smile, “Now come on.”

Once we got into the building through a series of backdoors, I shorted out the communication system for the surveillance department. With guns drawn, we waited until one of the employees opened the door, surprised to see Captain America and Voltage waiting for him. “Excuse us,” Steve said as we approached, sending every person hurrying towards the doors with hands raised.

“What exactly are you planning on doing?” I asked him as he made his way to the PA system.

“Haven’t thought that far ahead,” he replied, taking off his cowl and clipping his shield to his back.

We stood behind him as he hunched over the microphone, pausing for a few seconds before he pressed the button.

“Attention all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, this is Steve Rogers. You’ve heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth,” he paused, looking to sky briefly as if strength would fall from it and land in his palms, “S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it was. It’s been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The S.T.R.I.K.E and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don’t know how many more, but I know they’re in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want, absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won’t end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them. I know I’m asking a lot. But the price of freedom is high, it always has been. And it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” I watched his speech unfold with tears in my eyes, prouder of him than ever. “That’s my man,” I whispered to myself.

“Did you write that down first,” Sam stepped forward with a smile, “Or was it off the top of your head?” Steve laughed and looked to me, confused at my watery smile. I shook my head and dried my eyes, stepping forward to rub his arm. “Clock’s ticking,” Hill spoke up.

Sam made his way to the door, I began to follow him but my arm was pulled back by Steve who drew me into him and pressed one final kiss to my lips.

“Good luck, agent,” he said softly, his breath still fanning my mouth.

“You too, Captain,” I smiled, taking in one final second of peace before chaos took over.

Switching gears, I kept a hand on Steve’s shoulder and reached out to touch Sam’s arm. “Here we go…” I mumbled, steeling myself for whatever we were about to encounter.

I teleported the three of us to the landing strip in time to see the helicarriers lifting up into the sky. “Hey, Cap,” Sam shouted as we ran, “How do we know the good guys from the bad?” “If they’re shooting at you, they’re bad,” Steve answered before wrapping an arm around my waist, “Ready?” “Ready,” I nodded, watching as Sam’s wings sprung out from his pack and he glided off the landing strip. I prepared to teleport us, visualizing the inner workings of the helicarrier and attempting to land us there. Except…we hadn’t budged. “What the…” I mumbled. “What’s going on?” Steve asked, just as confused as I was. “I don’t know,” I held onto Steve tighter and tried to send us away with no luck, “Fuck. They’ve got tech that prevents me from using my powers. They’ve got it set up somewhere. What do we do?” Steve thought for a second before grabbing my hand, “Trust me?” “Always.”

Looking over the edge of the platform, we stepped forward at the same time and leapt over the edge. We both tucked into somersaults as we landed and continued our sprint, never missing a beat. Ahead of us there were armed guards opening fire on us. I ran behind Steve and his shield as we twisted and turned through an array of crates and ammo storage. One of the guards snuck around one and tried to sneak up on us but I landed a punch that leveled him. We hid behind one of the storage units and Steve, rarely equipped with destructive weapons, threw a small grenade in the direction of the other guards attempting to capture us.

“Hey Cap,” Sam called over the comms, “I found those bad guys you were talking about.”

“You good?” I asked.

A few distant explosions sounded in the background, “I’m not dead yet.” “Good, keep up the optimism,” I quipped, turning to Steve, “I can’t get us in the easy way.” “Then we fight our way in,” he said authoritatively, “Stay close.”

I unholstered the two guns from my hips and along with Steve, took off from our hiding spot to face the guards waiting for us. Steve took on a few of them, landing kicks and hits with his shield but never ceasing his run. I kept more of a distance and fired perfect shots into their chests, clearing our path. “Eight minutes, guys,” Hill said. “Very helpful,” I called, narrowly dodging a bullet before firing three.

Finally, Steve and I had an access point to the inside of the helicarrier. “Let me try my powers again,” I said as Steve climbed the stairs. He came back to me and I clutched his arm, visualizing the part of the craft that Fury had shown me weeks ago. Suddenly, we were transported to the very spot. There was no time to celebrate, we took off across the bridge. When we reached the navigational system, Steve pulled out the chip from his belt and inserted it into the correct space.

“Alpha lock,” he called as we took off across the bridge again.

“I can get us to the last one,” I declared, taking his arm again and visualizing the other helicarrier. Nothing. “Shit, there must be tech in here.” “We’ll find another way,” Steve said as we took off across the bridge and back to the staircase. We rushed down the steps and onto the deck, welcomed by another group of armed guards. In vain, I tried to use my telekinesis to move them.

“Sam!” Steve called into the comms, “We’re gonna need a ride!”

“He can’t possibly carry us both,” I shouted as we ran towards the edge of the carrier.

“What other option do we have?”

I thought my plan through, getting closer to the edge with each sprinting step, and decided to bet on my gut feeling. “I’ll meet you on deck,” I called at the last second so Steve couldn’t object, just before we leapt into the air.

The freefall was startling, waking up whatever parts of my body were still been asleep. I gasped once and then my lungs seemed to freeze, my mind going blank as I descended towards the ground rapidly. I vaguely sensed Steve falling somewhere near me, that was enough to bring my brain back online and remember what I was supposed to do. There was no way that S.H.I.E.L.D could have tech in the air. I visualized the deck of the last carrier and successfully transported myself onto it, shakily landing on my feet just as Sam, dangling Steve by the arm, landed beside me.

“You know, you’re a lot heavier than you look,” Sam remarked as we walked across the deck.

Steve shrugged, “I had a big breakfast.” I had barely gotten the chance to laugh when a dark figure lunged out from behind a set of crates, tackling Steve and shoving him off of the deck. “STEVE!” I screamed, rushing to the side to try and telekinetically pull him back. Unfortunately, there was tech hidden somewhere.

Sam extended his wings and tried to jump off the deck, only to be pulled back by the figure. One decent look at him and I could identify him as Bucky Barnes. He threw Sam back by the wings, but Sam was able to catch himself in the air and pulled out his guns. I unholstered mine and kneeled down, shooting near perfect shots if it hadn’t been for Bucky’s quick reflexes. He flipped and took cover behind a piece of machinery. Sam reached down to me and pulled me up, lifting up and flying away to go find Steve. We both let out a cry as we were violently pulled back and down to the deck, Bucky ripped one of the wings clean off of Sam’s suit with his grappling device. Sam fell on top of me, quickly getting to his feet and pulling me with him. Before we could get our wits about us, Bucky landed a kick to Sam’s stomach, sending him flying off the deck. I attempted to land a punch, but was caught by my throat and thrown off the deck seconds after Sam.

During my second fall, I was able to keep focused. Sam was so close I knew I could reach him if I controlled my fall correctly. Channeling Tony, I held my arms in a way that would allow me the ability to surf the wind currents. “Grab on!” I yelled. Sam reached out and as soon as he took hold of my arm, I created a forcefield around us and we landed on the top of the Triskelion safely.

“Steve,” I said into the comms after taking away the field, “Steve, are you okay?” “I’m here! I’m still on the helicarrier! Where are you guys?” Relieved, I pressed a hand to my chest. “We’re grounded,” I reported, “Sam’s suit is down. If they don’t have any tech down here, I can get us up there.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

I turned to Sam, ready to take hold of him and bring him with me, when Hill’s voice came into our ears. “Falcon? Rumlow’s headed for the Council.”

“I’m on it,” he looked to me, “Get to Steve.”

As Sam headed for the inside of the building, I looked up into the sky and found the last helicarrier. I visualized the inside of it and prayed that S.H.I.E.L.D hadn’t seen fit to outfit the rooftop with tech. I felt myself slip away easily, landing on the bridge of the helicarrier next to Steve. He gripped my arm to steady me, “You good?” I nodded before looking ahead to the end of the bridge, an unwelcoming sight awaiting us. Bucky.

Steve tensed beside me, his eyes locked with his former best friend’s. We were right where I’d hoped we wouldn’t end up. I didn’t want Steve to hurt any more over Bucky, but I also wouldn’t hesitate to to kill the Winter Soldier. But first, I’d give Steve his chance to bring back Bucky’s memories.

“People are gonna get die, Buck,” Steve said, trying to sound confidant, “I can’t let that happen.”

Bucky made no move, giving no indication that anything Steve had said resonated with him.

“Please don’t make me do this,” my love’s voice faltered and some part of me broke alongside him. I already knew how the fight would turn out.

Bucky’s lips curled ever so slightly as he stared out his eyebrows at us.

Steve and I steeled ourselves.

A breath-stilling silence.

And then Steve threw his shield.

The weapon careened towards Bucky and bounced off his metal arm, landing back in Steve’s hand as we charged forward. I quickly tested my powers but the tech was hidden somewhere, leaving me with only my natural weapons. Bucky fired two shots at Steve’s shield before I ducked behind my boyfriend, narrowly missing the bullets meant for me. Steve whacked Bucky’s hand with his shield before crouching down to deter the next bullet. I had to plan my attack strategically, there was little space to move on the bridge and it would be too easy for Bucky to nail me if I made a wrong move. As Steve tried to block the next shots, Bucky faked him out and shot at Steve’s side, two bullets tearing through his suit and grazing him. Set off, I leapt out from behind Steve’s body and kicked the gun out of Bucky’s grasp. I felt the wind brush me as I jumped back, barely avoiding a punch to the face delivered by his metal hand and giving Steve the opportunity to push him back with the shield.

If possible, we’d made him more mad.

Bucky unsheathed a blade from one of his holsters and stalked towards us, unhinged. Quickly, Steve lowered his shield and I stepped onto it, letting him launch me into the air. I landed a few feet behind Bucky, who was more focused on attacking Steve, and charged toward them. Steve was masterfully avoiding all of Bucky’s attempts to stab him, but he couldn’t hold him off forever in such an emotional state. I kicked Bucky in the back but hardly put him off balance, he was far too attuned to what was going on around him for a sneak attack to work. He spun and swung the knife around, I crouched down and sprung back up to punch him in the face. Steve ran around him and headed to the station, entering the code that would allow us access to the targeting system. As he worked, I gripped both sides of the bridge’s railing to lift myself up and use both my feet to kick Bucky hard in the chest. He fell back, but it had only bought us seconds. He got to his feet as if nothing had happened, catching me by the back of my suit and throwing me. I hit the station Steve was working at, landing roughly at his feet.

“Look out,” I cried, ignoring the pain from my ribcage and focusing on Bucky focusing his rage on my boyfriend.

Steve dodged Bucky’s punch with the shield, the metal hand creating sparks as it scraped against the Vibranium. They were locked in a standoff, Steve holding Bucky’s knife wielding hand away from him and Bucky gripping the shield. I got to my feet and wrapped my hands around Bucky’s neck, pulling him back and away from Steve before ducking out of the way so Steve could kick Bucky away.

Steve retrieved the data chip from his belt and handed it to me, “I’ll buy you some time.” Adrenaline surged through me as I hurried to identify the right chip that needed to be switched out. The sounds of Steve’s pained grunting and groaning didn’t help me to focus at all. My fingers shook as they pulled out the chip, I was reaching to replace it when I felt a searing pain come from my arm. I pulled away from my position and saw Bucky still holding his smoking gun as Steve fought him with a new fury. Swiping a finger over my wound and seeing the blood, I knew I’d been shot. Steve blocked a few more punches before Bucky sent the both of them over the railing, sliding onto the bottom of the station’s structure. I didn’t think twice before throwing myself off the bridge as well.

Bucky and Steve were locked like two bulls, Steve had lost his shield in the fall and had nothing to defend himself with. He took a punch to the stomach from Bucky’s metal hand just before I landed. I was torn between Steve’s request that I give him time to bring Bucky back and shooting the man where he stood. The time to decide was drawing close.

I decided to give Steve a little more time and simply punched Bucky on the side of his face. The data chip was still in my curled fist but Bucky had figured that out quicker than I’d expected. He grabbed me by the throat and shoved me down, choking me as he tried to uncurl my fingers. Steve took hold of his torso and tried to throw him off me, but Bucky’s grip around my neck held and we both went flying. The data chip fell out of my hands as we landed, the impact throwing Bucky off his game just enough for me to raise my legs and kick him away. Still gasping for air, I quickly looked around for the missing chip. Steve moved to where we were and stood between me and Bucky. Just as I found what I was looking for and reached out to grab the chip, Bucky’s boot came stomping down onto my hand. I screamed out, bringing my hand to my chest and cradling it in a rare moment of weakness. In doing so, I had accidentally swept the chip off the platform. Steve and I met eyes, a plan forming silently between us, and we synchronously kicked Bucky over the edge. Steve helped me stand and took my hand, the two of us leaping down together.

We landed on the sturdy glass panes providing a view out over the city, unfortunately I landed on the arm that had been shot with a loud cry. Steve hurried to help me up, his glove staining with blood as he handled my elbow. Having gone through extensive wound training in my early S.H.I.E.L.D days, I knew I was losing blood fast and had precious moments left before I started to feel the effects. “Move,” I urged Steve, shoving him in the direction of where the chip had landed.

As we made a run for it, a familiar sound came from behind us and Steve toppled over. He took me down with him as his large frame hit me and we tumbled across the glass together. The shield rolled next to us, I turned around to see Bucky pulling out his second gun and taking aim. Steve pulled me into him and we hid behind the shield, I could feel the impact of each bullet as it bounced off. When they stopped, Steve sprung up and hurled the shield at Bucky. The two of them made contact as I got to my feet, not rising fast enough as Bucky was able to stab Steve in the shoulder. He let out a yell of pain so tender to my ears, I prayed then and there I’d never have to hear it again. Steve head butted Bucky twice before he was thrown into a large support structure. The sight sent me into a rage, if I didn’t act soon, Steve wouldn’t be there to save. I ran towards Bucky, dropping to my knees as soon as he swung his knife at me and sweeping one leg out from under him. He’d managed to retrieve the chip in the time it had taken me to get to him. I climbed on his back to weigh him down just as Steve returned, but Bucky managed to flip me off him. It figured, I weighed nothing to a Super Soldier…

Steve managed to keep Bucky on the ground, his hand pushing his face away and holding his hand under his arm. “Drop it!” Steve yelled, “Drop it!”

When Bucky tried to fight back, Steve laid into his arm hard enough to make Bucky scream out. I scrambled over to them and tried to pull Bucky’s fingers open one by one. As much as he fought, I was able to pry the chip out of his hand, walking around to him after and landing a punch to the head that knocked him out. He slumped over in Steve’s arms and to Steve’s credit, he let him go. We sprinted off with the chip tucked in my belt, the real challenge would be getting back up to the station.

Steve jumped up to grab the railing, flipping himself over and landing on the platform perfectly. He laid down and reached down his hand, I used my good arm and allowed him to pull me up. Softness in battle wasn’t something we typically allowed ourselves, but he stroked a quick hand over my shoulder before pulling me to my feet. We made our way towards the next set of difficulties when Steve went down, a sick echoing gunshot alerting us to Bucky’s conscious state. There was blood on the leg of Steve’s uniform and I couldn’t see an exit wound, the bullet had stayed in him this time around.

We hurried up the platform and Steve took the first set of bars, pulling himself up and narrowly missing another shot of Bucky’s. I pulled out my gun and fired a few quick shots to Bucky’s metal arm, I knew it wouldn’t do any damage but it was enough to shock him and give us a few extra seconds. Powering through the pain of my injured arm, I followed Steve’s example and pulled myself up the bars, letting him help me the rest of the way. We had finally made it back onto the bridge.

“30 seconds, guys,” Hill said over our comms.

“Here,” I pulled the data chip out of my belt pocket and handed it to Steve, who was already up on his feet. The blood loss was beginning to make me dizzy. I bent down on one knee and aimed my gun at Bucky again, hitting his metal arm three more times. When I tried for a fourth, the weapon failed on me. Whether it was lack of ammo or it got jammed, I didn’t have time to figure out-

A sharp pain through my left shoulder silenced all thoughts.

I doubled over onto the grated floor, a shaky hand reaching up to touch the wound. Bright red blood coated my fingers and I tried my hardest not to pass out. Not because the sight made me woozy, but because I knew what it meant. I was on borrowed time.

BANG!

Life rarely moved in slow motion, but the moment that Steve fell to the ground and I saw the crimson staining the front of his uniform played out so slow, I could commit every detail to memory. I couldn’t tell if I screamed or whispered his name, but it was enough to bring us both out of shock. Steve clumsily flipped himself over onto his knees, pulling himself up to the navigational system. He placed the chip in its slot, breathing hard as he sat back and looked at me. We both knew what was about to happen.

“Charlie lock.” We would win, but Steve and I wouldn’t live to see the victory.

“Okay, Cap, Voltage,” Maria called over the comms, “Get out of there.”

I crawled towards Steve using the arm that hadn’t been hit by bullets, if I was going to die, I was at least going to decide where I did it. The only place I’d ever consider was in Steve’s arms. He struggled to move towards me, slumped over on the floor, but he managed to pull me into his side. “Fire them,” I replied.

“But-“ “Do it!” Steve yelled, “Do it now!”

My breath quickened as I tried to convince myself death was nothing to be scared of. But the truth was that I wasn’t ready to go. I wanted more time, more time with everyone I cared about. I’d spent so much time by myself, wishing for what I’d managed to finally get. Now I was being prematurely torn from it.

As if he could read my mind, Steve pressed a shaky kiss to my forehead. “We gotta try,” he breathed.

Together, we hoisted each other up, clinging to the railing and each other as tight as we could. Just then, the helicarriers began to fire at one another, throwing Steve and I off balance. A scream sounded from below us and I was able to spot Bucky trapped underneath a large piece of the helicarrier’s structure.

Steve looked to me, “I gotta help him.” “He’s going to kill you,” I argued, Steve was in no fighting shape and neither was I. “I have to try,” he replied, “He would do the same for me.”

I loved Steve and how much he cared about his tribe, but it was the first time I wished that he’d give up. Just once. Our lives were at stake and he was placing them in the hands of a HYDRA assassin. Shared past or not, he was letting emotion cloud his judgement. But there was no arguing with him, he was going to try and save Bucky even if it killed him.

Steve slipped under the railing and let himself fall, landing roughly on the glass. A giant chunk of the helicarrier had been taken out, the wind coming in and spreading the sparks of the fires that had started. Steve searched for and retrieved his shield, carrying it in one hand while holding his abdomen in the other. There was so little I could do to help him without my powers. I watched helplessly as Steve stumbled his way towards Bucky and pulled with all his remaining might on the structure that held him. Once Bucky shimmied his way out from underneath, Steve let the structure go with a loud groan. Bucky was bent over, gasping for breath, but he didn’t attack.

“You know me,” I could hear Steve urge, I knew he’d take Bucky’s lack of violence as a good sign…

“No, I don’t!” Bucky yelled, punching Steve hard. Super Soldier or not, Steve was vulnerable at the moment.

I stood to my feet shakily, trying to figure out a way to protect Steve. If I jumped down, I was sure to injure myself further. Too risky, there was a possibility I could further lodge the bullet in my shoulder and nick something vital. The tech hidden somewhere inside the helicarrier had to have been damaged, there was a chance that my powers could work. I looked down to Steve and Bucky and visualized myself quickly, feeling the tug but not being able to physically move myself. It was better than it had been minutes ago. I took a few steps on the bridge, putting distance between me and wherever the hidden tech was. I tried to teleport myself again, feeling a stronger tug. The further I moved across the bridge, the more my powers began to return. I stumbled down the catwalk as fast as I could, hearing Bucky hit Steve once again.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve said carefully, not wanting to provoke Bucky anymore than necessary. “Shut up!” Bucky screamed, hitting Steve so hard that he flew backwards and landed on his injured front. Enough was enough…

Using every bit of strength I had, I teleported myself down successfully to where Steve and Bucky lay injured. I summoned an electric current and aimed it at Bucky, causing him to scream from the intensity of the shocks.

“Y/n!” Steve yelled from behind me on the glass, “Wait!” The currents weren’t strong enough to kill Bucky, just enough to weaken him. Though I wanted to end him then and there, I reluctantly absorbed the electricity at Steve’s request. Bucky rose to his feet, vengeance in the eyes directed my way. I quickly threw up a force field around Steve and I, but my strength was fading. I couldn’t hold it for long. “Get out of here,” Steve ordered, his voice low and exhausted.

“I’m not leaving you,” I strained, fighting to keep the energy field around us.

“I can’t leave him,” he pushed, putting a hand to my shoulder. “He’s gonna kill you, Steve,” I yelled, grunting along the way as I felt the energy beginning to fade, “We had a deal!” Steve panted, “I can’t let him die.” Internally, I was cursing him. He was risking both of our lives to try and save someone who was too far gone. But I loved him too much to give up on him. “We’ve only got a minute or two till this thing breaks,” I said, building my compromise, “The second it does, I’m teleporting us back onto land.” Steve nodded weakly, fighting to stand as the force field finally dropped due to my exhaustion. Bucky didn’t attack as I thought he would, instead he simply watched us. “I’m not gonna fight you,” Steve said, dropping the shield straight through a hole in the flooring. I winced as it fell down somewhere into the Potomac. “You’re my friend.”

Bucky roared as he charged toward Steve, tackling him to the edge of the helicarrier. “You’re my mission,” he growled, accentuating each of his words with a hit. “You’re,” punch, “My,” punch, “Mission.” It was the last straw. Steve’s opinion no longer matter to me. I wasn’t going to let him kill himself because of sentimentality. I telekinetically raised Bucky up in the air and slammed him down into the glass. I dragged him back towards me, raised him up and kicked him in the chest, sending him flying backwards. Steve groaned from behind me, probably trying to get my attention but I didn’t care. Bucky had tried to kill him, Natasha and Fury in the last two days, three of the most important people in my life. I wasn’t going to let him have another chance.

Bucky stalked towards me menacingly. My strength was fading and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold him off. I telekinetically held him in place, his confusion was visible as he tried to figure out why he couldn’t move. He began to look like a panicked animal, clawing at the air and moaning as he tried to escape my hold. It was pitiful. I aimed my hand towards him and shoved him backwards, he hit a beam during his landing. I fell to my knees in exhaustion, all the fight had been drained from me. The blood from both wounds streamed down my arm and hand, the dizziness filling my head and making it hard to see straight. It looked like there were three Bucky’s coming towards me, but they morphed into one the closer he got. He picked me up by the throat and held me in the air, trying to choke what little life was left in me. He threw me down towards Steve, the last thing I remembered was hitting my head against a piece of metal. After that, everything went black…

—————————

My head pounded before I even opened my eyes. My entire body felt soaked, even underneath my suit. I felt like I couldn’t move, but I was alive.

My eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust to the light. I curled my fingers ever so slightly to feel the dirt that I was laying on. I groaned as I turned my head, seeing that Steve was laying beside me. The slight rise and fall of his stomach let me know he was still fighting. The sound of footsteps on my other side stole my attention and I watched as Bucky walked slowly away from us. My head was foggy but I could still feel his metal hand wrapped around my throat moments before. He’d tried to kill me…and then he rescued me. “Hey,” I called weakly, summoning as much strength to my throat as I could. He stopped in his tracks and turned his head in my direction, looking away but focusing on my words. “If you ever come near him again,” I stopped for breath before finishing, “I’ll kill you.”

Bucky took in my words without showing if they had any effect on him. He simply listened, then continued on his way. Wherever he was going, I took comfort that it was away from us. Away from Steve.

My head fell back again as I panted, the simple sentence having taxed me. It was a good thing Steve had been unconscious, I knew that my proclamation wasn’t anything he’d have ever agreed to. But what I did, I did to protect us. I believed in second chances, I believed in Steve Rogers…but I did not believe in Bucky Barnes.

—————————

Fury, Nat and Sam found us at some point because I woke up in a far too bright hospital room. I looked around in a stupor, finding beeping machines and an IV on one side of me and Sam on the other.

“Hey, Energizer,” he smirked, “How you feeling?” I chortled, an instant pain coming from ribs and throat. “Fantastic,” I remarked, my voice hoarser than usual, “Where’s Steve?” “He’s in the room next door,” he motioned with his head to the left, “He’s in and out. He wanted to be here when you woke up but the doctors wouldn’t let him out of bed.” I moved to push the blanket off of me and swing one leg over the bed. “Whoa, whoa,” Sam stood up and carefully put his hands on my wrists, “You wanna take a look at yourself?” In my hurry to see Steve, I hadn’t thought to examine myself. I looked down to find four of my fingers on my other hand were in splints. The arm that had taken the bullets was in a sling, I peeked under my gown to find multiple bandages over where they’d stitched me up. I ran a hand over my throat and gasped at the sensation, there were definitely bruises from where I’d been choked. It explained my voice being hoarse. There were also large ugly bruises around my middle, no doubt from however many ribs I’d broken. This was definitely the most banged up I’d ever gotten in a fight.

“I have to see him,” I pushed, trying to clear my throat to help my voice.

Sam sighed, “Alright, but at least let me help you.” He helped me out of my bed slowly and carefully, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding my hand with the other. There were two security guards posted outside my door and one of them opened it up so we could exit. Sam guided me to the next room over, identically dressed guards protecting it as well, and we entered. Steve was laying in his bed, eyes trained on the door as we entered. His face lit up at the sight of me. “Look who’s up,” Sam beamed as he guided me into the room. “Y/n,” my name fell from Steve’s smiling lips.

I felt tears well in my eyes as I looked him over. He was bruised, bandaged and stitched up, but he was alive. I hadn’t lost him.

Sam helped me into the chair next to Steve’s bed, scooting me as close as he could. “I’ll give you guys a minute,” he said, brushing a hand over my shoulder before vacating.

Steve lowered his bed with its remote and sat himself up a little further, taking my hand and letting out a breath of relief. I let out a soft sob as I squeezed his hand, I’d been so sure that we were going to die. “How’re you feeling?” he asked eagerly. “Awful,” I giggled, “Better now that I know you’re okay.” Steve carefully raised my hand to his lips, pressing a sweet kiss to my knuckles. “I can’t remember what happened after I fell,” he said, “I grabbed you but…that’s all I can recall.”

Even with an undoubtable concussion, I could remember the events quite clearly. But Steve didn’t. Was I supposed to tell him what I had said to Bucky? Would he ever forgive me for telling his best friend never to step foot in his direction again? I cleared my throat, “I woke up and we were on the shore. I couldn’t have pulled you out so-“ “Bucky,” Steve gasped, “Bucky pulled us out.” “He must have,” I shrugged. “You were awake, did you see him?” I sighed heavily, feeling myself slip into the lie all too easily. “No, I didn’t see him.”

Steve’s brow furrowed as he thought, “He must have remembered me. He had to. Why else would he have saved us?”

There was a silence that fell over us as he tried to put together the pieces of what had gone on. I chewed on my lip, feeling a sickness in my stomach for lying to Steve. It was second nature to me. But I had never intended to use my talent against the man I loved.

“I’ve gotta find him,” Steve said decisively, “He’s out there, he remembers-”

“Steve,” I spoke up, holding his hand a little tighter, “He almost killed both of us and Fury. I know that he means a lot to you but…don’t you think it’s time to let him go?”

Steve sighed and shook his head, “Y/n, I can’t. Bucky’s my brother, he’s my best friend…He’d do the same for me. I have to find him, try to help him remember who he was.”

I was quickly learning that when the matter was related to Bucky, there was no argument strong enough in the world to change Steve’s mind. All I could do was stay quiet, support him, and sit on my lies. “I know you think I’m wrong…” he began. I laughed under my breath, “When has anyone thinking you’re wrong ever stopped you?” Steve smiled warmly at me, rubbing his thumb over my bruised knuckles. I faked a smile, trying to make it seem as if everything was okay. When in reality, Steve had endangered both of us to try and save a piece of his past. And that bothered me.

“I love you,” I stated, truthful as ever. “I love you too,” he replied, “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.” Then why didn’t I feel like it?

—————————

A few days later, after hiding out at Sam’s house, the three of us stood in the middle of a cemetery. We stared down at the gravestone with Fury’s name etched into it. “So what are we supposed to do?” I asked, standing at Steve’s side, “Come every few weeks and lay flowers? I do have a life.” “Gotta make it look real somehow,” Steve replied.

The world had been rocked at the exposure of HYDRA within S.H.I.E.L.D. The government had gone insane, placing the blame for the fall of one of their top intelligence agencies on us. Natasha had taken care of the Capitol Hill bigwigs and addressed the country accordingly, letting them know exactly where they could stick their blame. We were off the hook for the moment.

The few members of S.H.I.E.L.D I bothered to ever be in contact with were rebuilding their lives successfully. Sharon Carter, Steve’s assigned security detail at his apartment building, had been approached by the CIA. Sharon was a longstanding acquaintance of mine and I’d personally picked her to watch over Steve. There was familial duty on her end what with her being a Carter and all…

Hill and Fury had concocted a plan of how to keep an eye in the sky and it meant her pursuing a job at Stark Industries. She’d be working closely with Tony and would be based out of New York, primarily Avengers Tower. She could feed whatever information necessary back to Fury. The only reason I knew about it was because they’d allowed me to read their minds, knowing that it was near impossible to keep secrets from me. All in all, everything was decent considering what had happened. Our world wouldn’t stop turning just because of the loss of S.H.I.E.L.D.

“FYI,” Fury said as he approached from behind us, “I’m partial to magnolias.” “I’ll remember that,” I smirked, looking over to my ghost of a boss.

“We’ve been data mining HYDRA files, he explained, “Looks like a lot of rats didn’t go down with the ship. I’m headed to Europe tonight. Wanted to ask if you two would come.” Steve and I looked to one another, we weren’t lined up for any jobs anywhere and the world didn’t need any avenging. It seemed to be a perfect offer, but I knew that Steve was otherwise occupied at the moment.

“There’s something I got to do first,” he answered.

“We’ll call you when we’re ready,” I interjected, I wasn’t going to miss a chance at taking out the rest of HYDRA. “Or…Hill, I guess.” “What about you, Wilson?” Fury turned to Sam, “Could use a man with your abilities.”

“I’m more of a soldier than a spy,” our new friend replied.

“All right then,” Fury turned and looked over his gravestone once more before shaking Sam and Steve’s hands. “Anybody asks for me, tell them they can find me, right here,” he finally addressed me, “We’re working on tracking down the scepter, but it’s gonna take more than a while.” “Wherever Strucker is,” I said, “The scepter is. I’m gonna get in touch with some contacts as well, I’ll let you know if I find anything.” Fury nodded and turned to leave, but stopped and looked back to me. “Try to keep out of trouble.”

“Try not to die again,” I smiled, feeling our own unique brand of connection.

“You should be honored,” Natasha called as she passed a departing Fury, “That’s about as close as he gets to saying thank you.”

“Not going with him?” Steve asked as we walked to meet her.

“No,” she elongated the single syllable.

“Not staying here,” he stated, coming to a different conclusion.

She smiled, “Nah, I blew all my covers. I got to go figure out a new one.”

“I don’t think there’s a name under the sun that you haven’t used,” I chuckled, “What was the last one? Samara Brady?” “Bradley,” Nat corrected me, “But Brady's not bad. Maybe I'll use that one next.”

The redhead held up a tan folder towards my boyfriend and handed it to him, “That thing you asked for. I called in a few favors from Kiev.”

I didn’t have to ask what it was, Steve had been sitting at the breakfast table across from me as he called Nat to ask for the favor. I’d had to bite my tongue, the first of many times I guessed, and pretended that I was okay with his plan. Nothing and no one could stop his pursuit of Bucky and I was done trying.

“Will you do me a favor?” Nat asked, nodding towards me, “Take care of my best friend.” Steve smiled and took the hand of mine that didn’t have broken fingers, “I’ll do my best.”

Nat reached out to me and we embraced, we both knew we were saying goodbye for the forseeable future. “Try not to get yourself killed,” she said, rubbing a hand over my back as she spoke.

“Take your own advice,” I mumbled into her shoulder. I knew that I’d scared her when she’d found us, bloody and barely clinging to life. Natasha would never admit to being afraid, but I’d known her long enough to know when there was fear in her eyes. I wanted her to stay just so I could reassure her each day that she wasn’t going to lose me. Selfishly, I wanted her around too. She was like the big sister I’d always needed in my life and when we were apart, it felt like I was missing a piece of me. “Будь осторожен,” I warned her as I pulled away, “Clint and I won’t be there to save your ass.” “Thank God for that,” she quipped before winking, approaching Steve and pressing a kiss to his cheek. They’d both filled me in on the adventures they’d been on while I was in New York, though Steve’s had been more of a sweaty confession. He felt so guilty for kissing my best friend while they’d been undercover, quite frankly it was adorable.

“Be careful, Steve,” Nat said as she walked away, turning around to emphasize her point, “You might not want to pull on that thread.”

She had succeeded in making me feel vindicated, I wasn’t the only one who thought going after Bucky was a bad idea. As Nat left, Steve opened up the file that revealed documents written in Russian and an old photo of Bucky in a cryo-freeze chamber. It explained how he kept his looks into the 21st century. There was also a small photo of him back in the 40s, dressed in his sergeant’s uniform. The sight of him looking so normal should have made me feel pity for what he’d been turned into, but it only filled me with anger. He was still the man who had tried to kill everyone I loved.

“You’re going after him,” Sam stated from behind us.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Steve said, his eyes never leaving the folder.

“I know,” he replied, “When do we start?”

I smiled politely, trying to conceal my disdain. “You boys have fun with that,” I said, pulling away slightly from Steve to look at Fury’s grave one more time. My absence was enough to make Steve close the folder and follow me. “I don’t expect you to come,” he came to stand across from me, taking my hands, “I just-“ “Steve,” I closed my eyes and tried to smile, “Let’s just leave it at we disagree. Okay?” A few seconds of silence passed before he nodded and replied, “Okay.” Steve pulled me into his arms and held me, his chin resting on the top of my head. Never having been in a relationship, I wasn’t sure how things like this were supposed to go. Were we supposed to disagree on something so major? Was it okay that I concealed the threat I’d made to Bucky? All I was doing was trying to protect him, to protect us and our future. Something inside me swirled with fear, I was certain that if Steve found Bucky, the ramifications would be irreversible.

As Sam, Steve and I left the cemetery, my eyes fell on a pair of matching gravestones. They belonged to a couple who had both passed away in the 90s. It made me think about my parents, about the family I’d lost out on. I’d long put away my desire to know about my past, it was pointless to wish for since there was no way to trace me back to anybody. But with Fury away in Europe, Natasha somewhere in the wind and Steve on his own path, I felt a loneliness I hadn’t felt in a long time. The irrelevant longing had lodged itself in my chest once more and it burned a hole right through my heart.

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A/N: That's a wrap on CATWS! We're getting to my favorite part of the story so I'm very excited for the next few chapters. Hope you enjoyed, let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

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