#reached acceptance
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I moved on
I'm really not sure how. Somehow every little peice of writing every imagined conversation every discussion every time i heard about you from others. it all added up and now im ok.
Im really proud of me. It took over a year but im ok. I still miss you but im also fine with not seeing you ever again. I jsut want to say thank you for the time you were my friend. thank you for being in my life.
i was at a party totally zoned out and suddenly i knew i was peaceful with it. the wildness was finally around me instead of inside me.
you can do it too
#mental health win i guess#really dont know how im ok now#completeely accidental recovery#writer#writers on tumblr#writing#writeblr#creative writing#shes gone#shes gone and im ok#reached acceptance#damn it feels good
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Good Morning, World.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#'Good Morning World' because to wwx the jiang household is what grounds him. It is his burrow and blanket.#The familiar soup and banter is his home. The familiar arguments and tension are also his home.#Notice how quickly he throws LWJ to the side once he has JC back in reach! 'He was so boring; I wish *you* were there!'#WWX is very quick to constantly remind himself that he fits within a very specific power structure and role.#He pushes boundaries but almost always only the boundaries that he knows he can push against.#Sitting here now and realizing that if WWX did take life more seriously and act more diligent he would totally usurp JC.#Because the contrast with Them (tm) is wwx is the one that gets in trouble and JC is the one that sticks to the rules.#That responsible appearance especially in contrast is the thin line that holds JC's self-esteem together.#And lets be fully honest. From JC's perspective the last week was also extremely intense and stressful.#It truly was a feat to travel so far so fast despite also being exhausted. Never knowing if it is all in vain.#JC said with his actions 'I would move mountains for you and dig through stone with my bare hands if it meant reaching you.'#and WWX said '[read]'#It's about wwx chronically asking 'why would someone care for me? I'm always tool to be used' than accepting that people love him.
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the arc of fourteen reacting to spice up your life like NPH personally kicked his dog to fifteen telling the Baby Eating Goblins to *Hit it Janice* so he could be a part of the DW Camp Evil Musical (TM) is particularly so endearing to me
#my guy has reached the acceptance phase of grief#if theres the doctor theres gonna be gay evil dancers#and he wants to be a gay (not so)evil dancer#and i love him for that#the church on ruby road#doctor who#whovian#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#rtd#fourteenth doctor
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annihilation is soooo good because the biologist is aware that she is an unreliable narrator and also hates it. she WANTS to be completely impartial and objective and just observe everything without influencing any of it. but she cant so instead she omits her name from the entire book to the point where it's almost absurd and completely intentional and splits her journal into "objective" chapters detailing her expedition and "subjective" chapters detailing her memories about her husband. ill never be over you biologist
#annihilation is my favorite book in the series for this exact reason#i like acceptance a lot too#but authority doesnt hit quite as hard as the other 2 bc it has a more traditional narration style#southern reach trilogy#annihilation
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Scavengers Reign (Joseph Bennett, Charles Huettner, 2023) // The Southern Reach Trilogy, from Authority and Acceptance (Jeff VanderMeer, 2014)
#scavengers reign#southern reach#southern reach trilogy#scavengers reign spoilers#web weaving#comparatives#<- idk which tag im using now#authority#acceptance#jeff vandermeer#who's the audience for this. just me? well. :^)#desc in alt text#oh i suppose mr vandermeer might be the audience for this as he was tweeting about the show. but uhhhhhhh
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*redress my single heishin headcanon multiple times* are you sick of me yet
#heishin#my art#dcmk fanart#hattori heiji#shinichi who doesnt want to deal with heiji's little bi gay boy panic so he just waits till he reach the acceptance stage by his own
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Combined with the "BG3 characters belong to WOTC/Hasbro" this article makes me want to eat glass
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#Wyll Ravengard#BG3 Wyll#you ever reach a phase of anger that just turns into grim acceptance
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The dinosaur is gay.
#in chicago this weekend and visited the field museum#maximo was looking fine and clearly reaching toward the pride flag#loved all of the pride flags around the city in general#just a great accepting vibe you know?#pride#chicago field museum
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You don't have to tolerate pain in silence to prove strength. You don't have to carry all your problems and hurt alone. Admitting you're in pain is not the same as admitting defeat. It doesn't make you a quitter, it doesn't make you weaker, it makes you human.
#self-acceptance#self-worth#original writing#asking for help#chronic pain#on being human#recovery#healing#reaching out
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sorry man i can’t hang out i’m busy thinking about how icarus fell in love with the sun but didn’t survive it. yeah man it’s gonna be all day.
#there are many ways to interpret the tale of icarus flying too close to the sun#yes the idea of not over reaching and limiting yourself to avoid greed is good and all#but icarus was forced to stare at the sun day in and day out#he accepted his fate while flying too close and laughed as he fell#as his back scorched from the flame and he swung his mouth open he didn’t cry but he laughed#he had already made his mind up and he chose the ending to his own story#i wonder if the moon would have been kinder#icarus
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Bare skin, bare feelings.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#blood#Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you.#LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it!#WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did.#LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before.#Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings.#LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated).#His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable.#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.#Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world.#When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws?#Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both.#Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation.#And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.
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the biologist, 20XX
"the biologist’s hair had been long and dark brown, almost black (…) she had dark, thick eyebrows, green eyes, a slight, slightly off-center nose (broken once, falling on rocks), and high cheekbones that spoke to the strong asian heritage on one side of her family. her chapped lips were surprisingly full for such a thin frown (…) even sitting down at the table, she somehow projected a sense of being physically strong, with a ridge of thick muscle where her neck met her shoulders."
there is no official art of the biologist from the southern reach trilogy, so i quick whipped up my own for the character inspiration meme i did! above is her physical description from the second book.
to me, she is one of the best written characters in any media i've consumed. one of my all-time favorites, undoubtedly. the southern reach trilogy is one of the best things i've ever read too, i encourage it for anyone that hasn't. it's probably my biggest inspiration, as well!
background is eric nyquist's inside cover artwork, just stunning. i thought it fit the symmetry theme of her portrait.
#southern reach#southern reach trilogy#the biologist#annihilation#ghost bird#my art#authority#acceptance
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what can you do when your five senses are not enough? ... what occurs after revelation and paralysis?
- jeff vandermeer, annihilation
#YEAH! yeah#i quite like this. ive always always wanted to draw the scene with the biologist and the crawler but obviously drawing the crawler#is a whole big Task. so i went with this. and i think that gets the ideas and feelings down. maybe#annihilation#authority#acceptance#jeff vandermeer#the biologist#southern reach trilogy#the southern reach#the southern reach trilogy#area x
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my dealer: got some straight gas this strain is called ‘the southern reach’ youll be zonked out of your gourd beyond what any man can bear, but whether it decays under the earth or above on green fields, or out to sea or in the very air, all shall come to revelation, and to revel, in the knowledge of the strangling fruit
me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit
5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw a rift in reality in the tunnel tower
my buddy Control, pacing: The Voice is lying to us
#someone has to make southern reach memes it might as well be me#mine#the southern reach trilogy#southern reach#the southern reach#jeff vandermeer#annihilation#authority#acceptance#100#200
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I was cleaning up some broken links on my old silly Pokemon fansite, the Neglected Pokemon Lovers Unite (NPLU), and I realized that it has now been open for 25 years. TWENTY. FIVE. YEARS. That is an ASTONISHING amount of time for a site to stay open! Even if the last substantial update was like back in 2009 lol. The world around it has changed so much, but I think it's still valuable as a time capsule of a certain time on the internet. I wrote up a new essay about it on the site and did some general clean-up here and there.
Anyway to that end, since so much of the fic and art there is so old, I decided to compare Radic's oldest form to his newest! Radic was always a human boy but I just couldn't draw humans at the time so I made him a furry lol. Eventually I figured it out.
I also thought it'd be a neat challenge to mimic my own style back when it was really wonky and bad. And it was! It was kind of fun actually. I don't have too many shots of Radic from back then (it was hard to get art on the internet in the late 90's-early 00's), but I do have a few - hugging Kitsune, two old kiribans if you want to compare. I had a lot more old shots of Parasects though to reference unsurprisingly, they were very triangular lol. I think I did a pretty good job of matching what my art used to look like. I had a clear see-through Gameboy back in the day if you can't tell what Radic is holding lol.
("Isn't Radic the faceless avatar of your gamer self as depicted in Handplates-" yes, but Pokemon!Radic is the only one that actually became his own character, all the rest are shells)
If you do go poking around the NPLU, please keep in mind that almost everything there is very old and most of the fic and art is pretty bad (and shockingly violent). Plz do not judge me! My younger self was a cringey weeb but she was trying very hard. :<
[patreon]
#pokemon#z art#radic#callima#parasect#man i haven't drawn a parasect in ages i forgot how fun it is#my crabshroom babies#i always get tempted to just delete all the links to my old art but people always tell me not to#they like seeing it?? which always baffles me but i'm trying to accept that there's something worthwhile about them lol#radic is blind so he's not using the switch he's just holding it#maybe for red? idk#there was this odd stretch where i was using dot eyes#then switched to big anime eyes#then smaller anime eyes#then back to dots again#time is a circle...#i also used to use ^_^ CONSTANTLY#thus the ^_^ by old radic there#i've seen a lot of old web trends get revived but not hit awards/kiribans#for some reason#hit counters sure webring sure affiliates sure awards and adoptables sure#but celebratory things for reaching a hit marker? haven't seen a lot of those lately
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to me this line is like, where harry reaches the closest thing to self actualization within the text of the game. he doesn't desire to be a different kind of animal anymore. its such a kind thing to say to himself about a quality that in his line of work could very much be perceived as a flaw. idk i just like it
#im probably gonna put something close to this in my video but i just. yeah#disco elysium spoilers#ANNIE AND FEARGHUS DON'T READ#but like the way the phasmid goes on to say that it empathizes with harry/humanity itself due to its sensitivity#to have that experience which is so accepted and brushed off in day to day life be heard and sympathized with#something something the way disco elysium presents humanity's unique consciousness as something that is often overwhelmig and horrifying#and forgives harry for being overwhelmed by that sensitivity and consciousness and congratulating him for even reaching this point#IDFKKKKK#the noid line thats like consciousness is new to the universe we all have our ways to ease the shock#literally been thinking about it for WEEKS#the way we interface with the world is unique and beautiful but it can also be terrifying and devastating so its ok to be scared#even if it feels like everyone else is fine#getting personal in the tumblr tags ummm#disco elysium#disco elysium meta#harry du bois#insulindian phasmid
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