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wicked-mind · 3 years

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Betrayed: Chapter one

Betrayed

Summary: Everybody thought Steve’s sister had passed away decades ago. But when you show up at the facility and try to attack Bucky, there are questions to be answered.

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warning: A bit of violence, a hint of PTSD

Masterlist

All Writings Masterlist

NOTE: This story is set post Endgame, but Natasha is still alive and Steve never went back in time to be with Peggy. Although I have always been a fan of creative writing, this is my first time writing based on any movies/series. Any feedback would be appreciated (: Enjoy!

*gif not mine

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CHAPTER ONE- You

“ALERT: PERIMETER BREACH!”

The alert echoed through the rooms of the facility, waking everybody up at the ready for a fight. Natasha was the first one up and slowly sneaking out of her room, armed with a gun. She stopped at a door and opened it, Steve had his shield and was ready to follow her with a nod. They slipped into the hallway together. Bucky joined them, as well as Wanda. They all spread out and went down different hallways in teams.

“We have movement in the kitchen.” Nat whispered to her ear piece, which had Sam and Clint on the other end moving on the opposite side of the facility through the kitchen. They all stopped, looking into the dark room. Nothing was touched. Nobody was there. They slowly spread out into the kitchen, checking any corners where someone could be hiding.

Nat lowers her weapon and looks around at her teammates, who looked as confused as she was. They didn’t get false alarms. Nat suddenly looks down at her phone, which she was using to track movement in the facility.

“There’s definitely something moving around here.” She said, showing Steve. He looked as the dot bounced around the screen, shifting to different rooms. It was going through all their bedrooms, before stopping at the edge the hallway that lead to the kitchen.

Both Nat and Steve looked up to the edge of the hallway. Nat already had her gun pointed, ready to fire. The rest of the team gathered around the entrance, keeping their distant and following Steve and Nat’s lead.

“Whoever you are, come out now!” Steve demanded, stepping forward a few feet and squinting his eyes in the darkness.

The room paused for a moment as something was heard moving in the darkness. Out of the black, a pale foot popped into view, followed by another. A woman now stood in front of the avengers. She was shoeless, dirty, and pale. She was wearing black shorts and a light blue shirt which had mud and what looked like blood stains on them. Her hair was a mess, her face dirty. But her eyes... they glowed a deep red. The woman tilts her head, eyes locked on Steve. In her hand she held one of Steve’s dirty shirts from yesterday, twiddling it in her fingers.

“Steve...?” Y/N whispered from the shadows. She kept his shirt in her hands, gripping it so tightly that her fingers could tear it apart. Her voice was soft, meek.

Steve looked on confused as why the woman held his shirt, but when he looked at her face as she spoke his name, he rushed forward a few steps, waving his hand behind him for Natasha to lower her weapon, “Y/N?” He asks softly, continuing to walk towards her, “Turn off that alarm.” He said back to Nat, who quickly stopped the blaring alert that kept repeating perimeter breach. The room fell silent.

“Who is she, Steve?” Sam asked, approaching Steve slowly, keeping his eyes on the woman. He was still on defense as were the rest of the avengers.

“Y/N... my sister..” Steve said, continuing to slowly walk towards Y/N slowly with his hands outstretched to show he wasn’t a threat. He thought she was dead. Last he heard she was at boarding school with Bucky’s sister, Rebecca. When he came out of the ice he looked her up immediately. All that was on file was that she finished school, had a family, and passed away peacefully in her sleep. He obviously knew now that was a lie.

Bucky came out of the back, stepping into view from the darkness. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Y/N... it had been decades since he had seen you. His heart felt heavy as he observed her, seeing her dirty and covered in dried blood. Y\N was his sister’s best friend. Him, Steve, Bex (Rebecca), and Y/N were always around each other after Bucky and Steve met. He would always steal glances at her, noticing that she would also steal some glances at him and flutter her eye lashes at him. She was always so happy, laughing and tucking her hair behind her ear, looking up at him. He remembered before he was deployed, Y/N snuck out with him to watch the sunrise. She watched the sun kiss the sky, creating vibrant orange streaks. Bucky remembered watching her. The way the fresh rays hit her skin, watching her small, content smile. He didn’t want the moment to end but knew it was coming to a close. He had reached out and gently touched her hand with his fingertips, “Hey Doll, I’m going to need something to keep me motivated while I’m away,” he said gently, smiling softly as she accepted her hand into his. She turned to look at him, her large blue eyes locked on his, “What do you say about saving me a date when I come back?”

Y/N had smiled and nodded, moving her face closer to his, her eyes flickering between his lips and his eyes. Bucky leaned in as well, moving his free hand to gently touch her warm face with his fingertips, inviting her closer. They had shared one kiss that early morning when they watched the sunrise. But that was enough to have both of them hooked on each other. After he was deployed, they would write each other. She had told him her brother finally got accepted into the military, sharing small details of which Steve had told her in letters. Always signing them with xoxo and hearts. But then the letters stopped from Bucky and Steve. Y/N was heartbroken to not hear from her boys.

Now, Y/N was standing in front of him. Bucky was trying to muster up some words to speak, letting her know he was there too. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. When he was back in his right mind after his return, he had looked her up also, wondering what became of her. He was given the same information Steve had. But obviously, something happened. She was young still, alive. “Y/N.. Doll, what happened?” Bucky finally found his words, moving to step closer to Steve, who was still slowly making his way towards his sister.

Y/N finally moved. Well, her eyes did. The deep red eyes flickered to Bucky at the sound of the new but familiar voice voice. Suddenly, her grip on Steve’s shirt tightened, pulling at the fabric. In the silence, everybody could hear it tear ever so slightly as a deep growl was heard coming from Y/N. Her eyes locked on Bucky’s face. Her gums slowly rose, her teeth showing which made the growling even more audible. “You....” was all that passed her lips, her eyes locked on Bucky’s face.

Y/N emotions changed quickly. She was soft, almost scared looking before. Now she looked threatening, angry. Small wrinkles appeared on her forehead as if she was frustrated. In a swift movement, Y/N lunged at Bucky. She was fast, really fast. Steve tried to grab his sister, but was pushed away with ease by her hand, throwing him across the kitchen and into the dining table. She had her hands outstretched at Bucky as she lunged at him. She almost had him in her grasp, and all she could think about was killing him. Shutting those blue eyes forever. But, as she got closer, an arrow hit her shoulder, shocking her. She froze and her body seized from the electricity, before dropping to the floor unconscious.

Bucky turned his attention to Hawkeye, who shrugged, “What? It got hostile real quick.” He said, walking to Nat’s side who had just stood there, confused by the whole ordeal that was unfolding in front of her. Steve sprinted back over to his now unconscious sister on the floor, shooting daggers with his eyes at Clint. He kneeled down, removing the arrow from her shoulder. Bucky leaned down as well, lifting his metal arm to sweep away some hair from her face. As soon as he touched her, Y/N eyes opened and locked with his again. She grabbed his metal arm, twisting it away from her and quickly jolted up towards Bucky. Her face buried in his neck, which almost looked like affection. But given that Bucky let out an audible yelp of pain, it obviously wasn’t. He pushed her off of him and into Steve’s arms, who held her tightly, trying to back her away from Bucky. Y/N was growling, struggling in her brothers arms as her eyes were still on Bucky, determined to rip him to shreds. Nat quickly moved, pushing three needles into Y/N’s neck, causing her to slowly slip into unconsciousness once again.

“You sedated her?” Steve asked, looking at Nat.

Nat looked at him, “Well duh.. did you prefer her trying to kill Bucky?” She said, waving her hand over at Bucky who had his hand to his neck, blood dripping between his fingers. Clint and Sam were immediately at Bucky’s side, assessing his wound. She had bitten into his neck, taking a small chunk with her. Clint and Sam started moving Bucky to get him to med-bay to assess the bite.

Steve picked his sister’s unconscious body up into his arms, turning and walking back down the hallway to his bedroom, placing her on the bed. Those sedatives should keep her down for a while, but then again so should have the shock from the arrow. He had never seen his sister so violent. Sure, he would see her stand up to bullies for him when they were younger. He was a scrawny kid who got beat up a lot, but as soon as his sister showed up she was always able to calm the bullies down with her charm to leave Steve alone when Bucky wasn’t there to save him. But she was never violent. Always kind with a smile on her face. He looked at her now. He never imagined seeing her this way. Dirty, broken looking. Her swept some hair away from her face as Bucky did, but she stayed unconscious.

“Wanda, Nat.” Steve called, knowing they were at his doorway watching, “Can you help get her cleaned up?” He said softly, his eyes not leaving his sister. He didn’t want to see her like this. She looked like she had crawled out of a grave. Crawled out of hell.

Nat nodded, disappearing down the hallway to get some clean towels to help wipe off the dirt.

“Of course.” Wanda said, quickly going to her room to get a change of clothes for Y/N. They looked about the same size of clothes.

Nat returned with a bowl of clean water and a couple medium sized towels, sitting on the opposite side of the bed from Steve, slowly dabbing away dirt from Y/N’s pale skin, “You know there’s going to be some questions when she wakes up..” Nat said, looking over at Steve who nodded, “I think we all have some questions.” He stated.

Wanda returned and picked up a clean towel, starting to help Natasha get rid of the dirt and dried blood. Wanda suddenly froze, looking at Steve and waving for Nat to back up a little bit, “She’s waking up.” Wanda stated.

Nat looked at her, “I gave her three sedatives. She shouldn’t be waking up so soon.” But backed off a little like Wanda said.

Steve took his sister’s hand, standing and hovering over her so he was the first one she would see. Her eyes opened, the red staring at him, “Steve...” a small smile came onto her lips, but as she noticed the two women in the room, she sat up, scooting away from them a little.

“Woah... Y/N, look at me.. Y/N, it’s okay.. they’re here to help. They’re my friends.” Steve said with a small smile for confidence, lifting his other hand to touch her face, “This is Natasha, and Wanda.” He said, introducing you to the women. “Would it be alright if they helped clean you up? You’re really dirty right now and it would make me feel better if you’d let them.”

Y/N looked at Wanda, then Natasha, listening to Steve. She nodded. Her whole demeanor had changed again. She wasn’t threatening at all, instead she seemed a little scared, timid. Wanda gave Y/N a comforting smile, “Come with me, Y/N, I’ll help you to the tub to clean you up. I got some clean clothes too.”

Y/N looked to Steve, as if to ask if it is safe. Steve nodded and slowly helped Y/N to her feet, walking with her down the hallway as Nat and Wanda lead the way. Nat opened the door to the large bathroom and turned on the tub, checking the temperature of the water. Wanda slowly reached her hand out to Y/N, as if to ask permission to help remove her dirty clothing. Y/N nodded to Wanda to accept her help, but then looked at Steve. Her nose scrunched, “Get out, Steve.” Y/N said.

“What? Y/N I’m not leaving.” Steve said, looking at her confused.

“You are not about to see me undress, get out.” Y/N repeated, giving her brother a look as she gestured to her clothes. She seemed almost normal again. She offered Steve a small smile, nodding, “I’ll be fine..”

Steve looked at Nat who nodded in agreement. Steve sighed, “I’ll be outside the door if you need anything.”

Y/N nodded, watching her brother exit and the door shut behind him. She gave a small smile towards Wanda to let her know she can continue to help. Nat and Wanda helped Y/N remove her clothing. Some of it crusted to her skin from blood. It was obvious there had been some wounds on Y/N that caused this, but there were no open cuts. Just small silver scars on her body. Y/N slowly stepped into the warm water, sitting down. She brought her knees to her chest, hugging them in the water. The clear water quickly started turning a brownish color from all the dirt and blood on Y/N’s skin. Nat and Wanda gently scrubbed her skin with sponges until they finally found pale skin underneath the grime. The two ladies helped Y/N wash her hair in silence. Nat was keeping a close eye on Y/N, still unsure what to think due to the fact she had attacked Bucky. But Y/N hadn’t made any threatening moves towards anybody else. It was like for that split moment she had turned into a totally different person, one full of rage and violence towards Bucky.

Wanda smiled at Y/N, “All clean!” She beamed, reached to unplug the drain to allow the dirty water to empty the tub. She grabbed a towel, holding it up for Y/N to step into. It was like Y/N was a totally different person beneath the filth. Nat and Wanda could now see the family resemblance with Steve.

“I’m going to go check on some things, Wanda will help you get dressed and anything else you need, alright Y/N?” Nat smiled and put a hand on Y/N’s shoulder in a comforting way. She then made her way towards the door, opening it slightly to leave but not enough to let Steve see into the bathroom.

“Thank you, Natasha.” Y/N said before Nat slipped out the door, then looked to Wanda, “Thank you, also.” She smiled slightly while Wanda unfolded the clean clothes and passed them to Y/N to get dressed. She quickly put the clothes on. Some dark grey sweat pants and a black T-shirt. They fit perfectly. “Thank you again, Wanda.” Y/N said, giving a smile to her.

Wanda smiled back, “Of course. Now let’s brush that hair.” She said, holding up the brush in her hand. Y/N turned around to allow Wanda to brush through her long blonde hair, detangling it. She stared at herself in the mirror. It was like a totally different person staring at her. She was clean, she looked normal. It left a small smile on Y/N’s lips seeing herself like this. Normal. Besides the red eyes staring back at her.

When they were finished with Y/N’s hair, they exited the bathroom. Steve looked at Y/N, smiling as she finally looked again like the sister recognized. He reached out and pulled her into a tight hug, leaning his head on the top of hers, his cheek now damp from her wet hair. Y/N smiled at the hug, wrapping her arms around her brother and hugging him back. It had been so long. She had missed him so much.

Steve led her back to his bedroom, thanking Wanda for the help before closing the door so the siblings could be alone. He watched as Y/N walked around his room, observing it. She looked at the pictures on the wall, the contents on his desk, taking in everything in the room. Steve stood there for a moment silently, letting her look around, before clearing his throat which brought Y/N’s attention back to him.

“Y/N. Can you tell me what happened? How are you here?” He asked, his voice soft and calm, caring.

Y/N stood silent for a moment, staring at her brother, before sitting down at the edge of the bed, “Am I in trouble?” She asks, looking down at the floor.

Steve shook his head, moving to sit by her, “No, no no Y/N. I just need to understand what happened... why you attacked Bucky and-“

Y/N flicked her head up, her red eyes staring at him, “DON’T!” She stopped him, her face twisting into an angry look again. She held up her palm and him to stop him from talking, “Don’t... say his name. He’s a traitor. He deserves everything he will get. He’s dangerous.”

Steve’s brow pulled together in confusion of why his sister snapped at the name. Why would she call him a traitor? They were best friends, and Steve swore they were closer than he wanted them to be. He remembered their flirtatious looks, the way they would steal glances at each other. She had never spoken ill of Bucky, what changed?

“What do you mean? He’s our friend, Y/N, remember?” Steve asked, careful not to say his name again to not set his sister off.

Y/N quickly stood, looking at him, “He is NOT our friend. He did this to me, Steve.” she said, her hands gesturing towards herself, “He’s the reason I’m like this.. he helped them create me...” her voice slowly got softer as she spoke, tears welling up in her eyes. “He tricked me, told me he came back from deployment and wanted to keep our promise. I stood there like an idiot, all dressed up. But then, he appeared. His eyes empty. He just grabbed me.. and... he took me to them...” she said, her right hand going up to grip the side of her head scrunching her freshly washed hair, her breathing quickening, “He stood by as I screamed... they played with my head... and he just watched... I called to him to save me and he turned his back on me... he... he...” she started to seem like she was hyperventilating, pacing around the room, gripping her head.

Steve stood quickly, pulling his sister into his arms again, shushing her softly to try and get her to calm down, “I’ll figure it out, Y/N. Just shh... calm down. Rest.” He said. He was able to get her to sit down on his bed, still hugging her until she fell asleep. He let her lay on his bed, tucking the blanket over her as she slept. He asked Wanda to keep an eye on her and let him know when she was waking up, to which Wanda nodded and sat in the chair next to the bed. There was something familiar about Y/N to Wanda, but she couldn't place how. Steve walked down the hall on his way to med-bay, a serious look on his face. He had to hear for himself if what his sister told him is true. He had to get some answers from his best friend Bucky.

#bucky x reader #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #marvel #bucky barnes x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you

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moonbeamsung · 3 years

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CRΣΣKS

Love, a second glance, it is not something that we need.

member: jeno

au: guardian angel in disguise!jeno x gn!reader, guardian angel au

word count: 3.4k

genre: angst

warnings: character death/loss, profanity, no happy ending, mentions of religion, questioning/loss of faith

recommended song: 715 - CRΣΣKS by the nor’easters

author’s note: Please be very careful with volume when listening to the song (above) that inspired this story! But even without reading the lyrics/listening, the fic will still make sense, and happy reading :)

network tags: @kpopscape @neo-constellations @starryktown

The wind is whistling, weaving in and out of the tall river reeds like an invisible needle and thread, stitching itself into each and every crevice of the world’s gift called nature.

Another one of its many gifts is the young boy that’s resting beside a rushing brook, toes dipped into the cool water and face illuminated by the sun as it beats down onto the earth with celestial strength.

Well, a gift from the heavens, that is.

Sent from the endless skies above, Jeno is your guardian angel, assigned with posing as a humble peasant boy in the village, all to keep a watchful eye on you from afar. In his human form, he spends his days wandering the cobblestone roads and narrow alleyways between the quaint buildings, with no family to return home to at dusk. A sunny meadow on the outskirts of town becomes his home, and he takes refuge in the shelter that the overgrown grass provides.

Everything is going smoothly, and he’s doing his job just as he should be. It’s routine now, waking up and rising from his earthen mattress, curtains of copious plant leaves letting in the sun’s rays. He finds you, observes at a comfortable distance, and that’s that. At its core, being a guardian is really an easy job. A predictable one.

A monotonous one.

Until one day you approach him, youthful eagerness in your eyes piercing and nearly painful, even to his invulnerable body. He’s never seen you up close before, only on the near horizon as you’ve gone about your daily chores, tending to the housework just like any obedient child should.

“...Who are you?”

Now, Jeno is faced with a decision more challenging than any that us mortal beings have to make in our entire lives. Engaging with one’s assignment is an extremely dangerous path to take. Unimaginable punishments await, should the guardian make a wrong choice. But Jeno was careless, and he had allowed himself to be discovered by the only human on Earth that the divine forces permit him to be seen by.

He makes the fatal error of answering you, ultimately shattering a future he’ll never get to live out, one that he doesn’t even know he would’ve had. Like a sharp rock being thrown at a church’s stained glass window, the meticulously carved pieces of his worldly existence fall to the ground with a deafening crash, broken beyond repair.

“I’m Jeno,” the strikingly majestic cadence of his words is like that of angel trumpets, the sound ringing in your head and making you dizzy with both fascination and infatuation.

And just like that, in three short syllables, you’re both fated to fall before you can even spread your wings.

From the moment you hear his name tumble from those beautiful lips, you’re hooked, and he knows it. He sees it in the way you look at him, in the way you act, the way you talk. A child experiencing a first and a forbidden love all at once.

It breaks his heart, because he knows it can’t, and shouldn’t last. The churning rapids of the creek nearby weep for him, for they know that in a matter of just a few short years, their waters are destined to mix with the salty tears that will steadily cascade from your trembling chin.

Jeno remembers, although vaguely, the brief amount of time he spent living amongst the clouds, being prepared by the heavenly elders for this expedition of a lifetime, quite literally. He remembers the scriptures, the strictures, and all the times he’s been warned of the severe consequences that come with immorality.

But even the purest of young angels aren’t infallible, still susceptible to compulsions that lead them to sin and defy their creator.

Relishing in the fading daylight, you join him by the water’s edge, listening to his soothing tone as he answers your ceaseless inquiries with harmless little lies as white as heavenly robes and cherub wings.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. The first sin.

It’s interesting, he thinks, that despite looking after you in the endeavors of your youth for quite a while now, he knows next to nothing about who you truly are. Actions may speak louder than words, but how can he know that if he’s never heard your voice to begin with?

As the quiet, languid conversation shifts from his purpose there to yours, Jeno learns that you’re very content with your life, taking pride in helping your family with daily tasks as well as assisting your neighbors in the close-knit village with theirs.

Just then, all the smears of dirt and scattered scratches adorning your face catch his attention, gained after hours of hard work. No amount of water is ever enough to scrub them off of your skin at the end of the day, no matter how hard you try. Sometimes, you feel tears prick your eyes as you try to fall asleep at night, frustrated with your lowly appearance and how it never seems to match your relatively optimistic outlook on life.

But Jeno doesn’t care. You’re breathtaking even in his eyes, the eyes that belong to an actual angel. If that fact alone isn’t enough to boost your confidence, he doesn’t know what else possibly could.

Like a fool, he lets himself drown in your sublimity for a moment, marveling at the ethereal glow of the sun on your smooth, ageless face. The faint noise of wisps of air blowing gently through the meadow and rustling the flora makes him drowsy, but the sight of a pure white heron landing gracefully on the opposite side of the riverbank brings him back to full consciousness in an instant.

The bird, an omen of sorts, had been sent down from Heaven, conjured up from a fleeting idea and into a physical reality, by the holy beings looking down upon the earth, indicating that they’re well aware of the threat he poses and just how close he is to making an irreversible mistake in regards to you, his assignment and assignment only.

The heron abruptly unfurls its delicately feathered wings, as if frightened, before taking off and floating away on the breeze, both of your gazes inexplicably drawn to it as it flies until it’s out of sight altogether.

It warns him of just what he’s messing with, exactly.

This is not a part of the creator’s plan for you, for him. Falling in love with the one an angel is supposed to guard is an appalling crime to commit in the eyes of the elders that inhabit the sky, in the eyes of God. Though it doesn’t explicitly go against a commandment or biblical law, it’s just an understood rule. It’s wrong.

Jeno tells himself this, and continues to do so over the many years that he looks after you, never acting on his emotions, only acknowledging them before sending the less-than-acceptable thoughts into the depths of his conscious mind. He only wishes he had a key to lock them up and forget he even felt them in the first place.

Even as an angel, he ages just like anyone else, the both of you going from kids to teenagers and then nearing the young-adult stage of life, with you remaining blissfully unaware of Jeno’s true identity all the while. It’s a miracle he’s managed to keep his secret for this long, honestly, but like grains of sand in an hourglass, your time together is running out, whether you like it or not.

Not even a year before your entire world, your entire reality comes undone before your very eyes, Jeno feels as if his has already done just that. Because you’ve found someone. And that someone isn’t him.

He hates the feeling of jealousy, despises it with every fiber of his heavenly being. But he can’t shake it, can’t bear the way it clings to him like an unwelcome visitor. An unrecognizable emotion, one so foreign that he can’t even put a name to it, is stirred up at the sight of you in their arms, so pure and so unworthy of this person. Boy, if he didn’t know any better, Jeno would swear that you were the angel.

With each day that passes, he begins to feel the final shreds of both his dignity and his self-control slipping away, lost to the familiar breeze that whips through the village, stronger than ever these days. He can no longer contain it within himself. He wants you.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods. The second sin.

How ironic that a Sunday, of all days, is when everything falls apart.

The sun is hanging low in the sky, just barely grazing the horizon with its bright beams of warmth as it steadily rises, bathing the world in a soft yellow glow. You can also see the moon leftover from the night that ended not so long ago, fading fast but visible nonetheless. Two complete opposites, so close but prevented by the laws of nature for coexisting in the same space, at the same time.

Maybe, just maybe, if you knew just how much you had in common with the celestial objects above, you would have clutched the hand of Jeno a bit tighter yesterday, intertwined your fingers a little more closely with those of someone who had become the closest thing to a best friend that you had ever known. You admit that you wish he could be something more, but you know better than to push your limits.

You got tired of waiting to see if he felt the same way, choosing to fill the void with someone else that you liked, yes, but who just wasn’t the same as the boy who had always been there, waiting in the meadow every morning without fail. Still, your emotions are ever-alert and always searching for any sign of reciprocation within Jeno.

He’s nowhere to be found when you reach the water’s edge, the edge of the creek where you wasted away endless summer days and frosty winter nights, colorful spring afternoons and brisk autumn evenings.

This morning would seem no different than the rest if not for his absence. The knot in your heart loosens, but not by much, when you spot him at the forest’s edge, looking weary.

Jeno notices you and calls out your name with a smile, but something about it isn’t genuine. It’s pained, desperate, like he wants to hold onto this moment forever, unwilling to carry out the plan he’s already regretting. It’s too late now, he thinks to himself, but he’s wrong.

It’s been too late for years.

“Jeno?”

“This way!” He chokes out. It’s somewhere between a sob and a plea, but there’s no time to figure out which is the more appropriate term. He disappears between the trees and amidst their mossy branches, blending in with the shadows cast by the thick canopy of leaves, and you break into a sprint, afraid of losing him to the merciless wilderness and what lies within.

Thankfully, he’s not too far gone. A small clearing greets you less than a dozen strides in, and in the very center of it stands a glass gazebo, run-down and covered in so many twisting vines to the point where the small structure is almost fully consumed by the nature surrounding it.

The scene is beautiful, so much so that it makes you uneasy. What’s going on? Why did he bring you here? Why does he seem so sad? Jeno is never sad, maybe he could be described as brooding or solemn on the rarest of occasions, but never this melancholy, never so utterly hopeless in his expressions and his aura.

None of these questions are answered, even as he takes your hands in his own and leads you inside of the gazebo, its see-through panels catching the light with elegance and ease.

“I need to tell you something.” Just like it did the first time you heard it, his voice still shocks you like a bolt of electricity, your blood pressure and heart rate skyrocketing. All of this is heightened, though, by grim tone he’s speaking to you with.

“What is it, Jen?” There it is. The nickname you made up for him that, although simple, makes him feel like he’s on top of the world. Actually, scratch that: it makes him feel like he’s floating in the sky, up past the clouds and even further away from this cruel planet than the heavens are from Hell.

You’re only making this harder for him. He might as well just spit it out, because all this waiting is agonizing for the both of you.

“We... we can’t be together.”

The sentence that leaves his lips is two declarations wrapped up in one singular statement, the first being that he wants to be with you in the same way you want to be with him. It’s much too hopeful, misleading your emotions down a path of elation instead of dread. The second is unpleasant, a bitter taste lingering on his tongue once he says the words.

“...Yes, yes we can, Jen, because I don’t really love them and all this time it’s been you—”

“You don’t understand,” he tries to stop the confession spilling out from your heart before it overflows, drowns you. “I’m not who you think I am.”

Stunned to silence, he gives you a moment to drink in the implications of his words. “...I’ve known you for over half of my entire life, and you’re trying to tell me I have no idea who you really are? Not a chance,” you laugh softly, shaking your head and glancing down at the wooden gazebo floor, old white paint peeling under your feet.

“But haven’t you ever wondered why I’m always there by the creek every morning? How I turn up throughout your day at the perfect time? How I’m suddenly right by your side when you need me the most?”

You have wondered. Many times, in fact. But the possibility of him being anything other than human was not at the top of your very rational list.

“...Don’t you see? I’m your guardian angel.”

He sees you blink, realization dawning on your face like the sun and stretching your features. “There are laws—” He begins, but your reaction is not the one he anticipated you would have to that information.

Too overwhelmed, you can’t respond with anything other than physical actions, no matter how unreasonable, and you press your dry lips to his soft ones, sealing your fate. Standing there, with beams of golden light infiltrating the space and illuminating your unsteady figures, Jeno is petrified not by your kiss, but by the fact that he doesn’t push you away, and his hands hold onto yours even tighter than before. Nothing has ever felt so right in his entire life. Not when he was in Heaven, and not in all the years he’s spent on Earth, either.

You’re his Heaven, this moment is his eternity. Jeno has endured enough temptation, the undeniable thrill that a deliberate sin promises has become too much for him. If he pulls away now, everything would still be okay, you could both go back to normal and pretend this never happened. But alas, he was doomed to kiss you back from the beginning, and so he does, and you have no idea what the universe has in store when you feel his lips finally respond to yours in the most unholy way possible. For the first and last time, you indulge in each other’s touch and taste, and it does not please the ones watching from above.

The third and final sin, one sin too many for him to remain in this world without consequence.

Several things happen all at once. A clap of thunder sounds overhead, though there are no clouds in sight. Jeno is painfully ripped from your grasp and thrown out of the gazebo by some invisible force of nature, into the grass and dirt on the forest floor.

And inside of you, a piece of your soul is torn from your being, bile rising up in your throat as you comprehend the excruciating sensation that racks your body with pained whimpers.

Stumbling to his feet, Jeno heaves, hunched over and close to tears. Suppressing the agony you still feel, you hurry over to him only for the boy to charge away, heading back towards the open meadow. With a broken shout of his name, you follow.

You didn’t notice before, but now the blinding light reveals the condition he’s in. He looks almost normal, but the edges of his form are becoming fainter by the minute, blurring with the rest of the world around him. He’s fading away before your eyes, and it’s all your fault.

It’s a torturous experience, watching him slowly meld with the emptiness of the air. Making him disappear into thin air in an instant would have been an act of mercy, a mercy that’s apparently beyond the capabilities of the spectators in the sky.

Struggling to maintain your composure, you force a question out. “What’s happening?” You ask, though you know he doesn’t have an answer himself.

He’s obviously panicked, though he tries not to show it. “I... I don’t know, I knew that it was forbidden for us to fall in love but I didn’t think I’d be robbed of my existence like this...”

“What?! No, Jeno, please don’t go...” You beg the gods and angels above, if any exist. You don’t know anymore.

If there is a God, how can he be good if he’s taking Jeno away from you like this, depriving you of the one constant source of joy and comfort in your life?

It’s far too cruel to bestow such a kind and generous heart upon someone who isn’t allowed to love in the first place.

Even Jeno’s touch is faint, making you feel like he’s not there at all. You just barely detect the pads of his fingers smoothing over your cheeks, trying to stop the water spilling from your eyes. He smiles sadly, “Don’t cry for me. I’m not worth the tears.”

“You’re everything to me, Jeno. You’re worth every drop.”

“Remember me like this, okay? By the creek,” he gestures to the turbulent waters a short distance away. Walking slowly, he begins to take steps in its direction, but as he speeds up you’re no longer able to match his pace. “Jeno, turn around...”

Glancing back at you for the final time, he whispers a goodbye that the breeze carries away with it, the sound something only the two of you would hear, one that could never be replicated.

“Goddamnit, Jeno, don’t you dare leave me!” But you know you can’t hold on, you’re not strong enough. A greater force wants you two apart, unable to be overpowered by one human, a relatively insignificant being in the grand scheme of the universe. He vanishes completely.

You fall to your knees, the pain from the pebbles digging into your legs and feet underneath the surface of the creek numbed by your sorrow. The water drenches your clothes, splashing up onto your skin and becoming one with your relentless tears. You’re left all alone, with only the cattails to keep you company. You wish the waves would just swallow you whole so you don’t have to feel this suffocating isolation.

In an unnecessarily harsh trick of the light combined with the dancing shadows generated by the water, you swear that you see Jeno again for a second, sitting on the riverbank like always. You sob louder.

It takes forever for you to find the strength to stand up again, water running over your soaked shoes and threatening to topple you over. You wouldn’t mind if it succeeds.

Inconsolable even to your closest friends and family, you reluctantly return to the village, unwilling to leave behind what you’ve just been through and unable to explain just why you’re crying so hard. Maybe if you stay there forever, spending each day and night waiting among the reeds and the flowers and the grass, he’ll come back someday, but no. He’ll never return, but you simply can’t bring yourself to accept this fact.

You’re never quite the same after that. Part of the curse that haunts you for the rest of your life is this: no matter how hard you try to retain your memories, you’re destined to forget Jeno eventually, leaving vast gaps in your brain when it comes to the years of your youth.

You’re left with only a feeling of inexplicable nostalgia at the sight of the meadow and the creek running through it, the waters still as violent as they were on the day you lost him.

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ventivante · 5 years

Text

Part One summary | can be found here! genre | jennifer’s body!au, college!au, horror, supernatural, humor, angst, demon!wooyoung; wooyoung x reader, mingi x reader warnings | language, discussions of death, some blatant blasphemy, and very bad/cliche humor word count | 2.1k

DISCLAIMER: this fic contains lots of dark subject matter and i will put any specific trigger warnings before each part. i do not condone the unhealthy relationships portrayed in this fic, nor do i believe the characters’ real life counterparts to display these behaviors.

happy halloween y’all!

“God, just shoot me in the face,” Wooyoung whined aloud, leaning his head back to emphasize just how unhappy he was with studying.

“Stop, you’re gonna get us kicked out again,” you whispered across the table at him.

“Good! I hate this place anyway, it reeks of decaying dreams and B.O.,” Wooyoung announced dramatically, his voice still at full volume.

Against your better judgement, you’d invited Wooyoung to study with you at the library. It was against your better judgement for two reasons: first, because Wooyoung didn’t function well in environments where you needed to be quiet and you were both already on the librarian’s shit list, and second, because you felt like you owed it to him after ignoring him all weekend.

Another unspoken reason you weren’t ready to admit was that Wooyoung had been acting . . . weird over the past few days. Even weirder than he normally was. For starters, he had dyed his hair—gone were the black locks you had grown up alongside, now replaced by sandy blond, perfectly gelled movie-star hair. His response to being asked why he’d changed it?

I got bored, he had told you, as if it were the simplest question in the world.

Of course, you knew that abrupt hairstyle changes usually took place in the midst of an emotional crisis, but you hadn’t pressed the issue further. If Wooyoung wanted to talk about things that were bothering him, he eventually would on his own terms—you had learned that the hard way.

Not only had he changed his hair, but he had started dressing really different as well. Normally Wooyoung opted for comfortable sweaters and hoodies, with some standard t-shirt-and-jeans ensembles thrown in the mix. Now he dressed as if his daily commute was on a Harley Davidson motorcycle. You didn’t know where his sudden sense of style had come from, but you guessed it may have had something to do with the aftermath of the party yet again.

Despite all of the red flags, you wanted to find out just what had caused the sudden changes, and you felt partially guilty that you had been the source of it. You figured if you spent more time with him, he would open up to you and finally forgive you.

“Come on, let’s get out of here and grab some sushi, I’m staaarved,” Wooyoung pouted as he rested his head on a propped fist, eyes wide and lower lip protruding in a wholly pathetic display.

Even though he had been acting strange, Wooyoung had been in very high spirits. He was constantly joking with you and laughing over the smallest things, not common indicators that Wooyoung was undergoing mental duress. His current behavior also wasn’t a surprise, as he’d always had a distaste for studying.

“Let me just finish these last couple sections,” you sighed as you flipped the page of your anatomy book.

“I can give you the short version: Adam shoves his dick into Eve’s vagina, boink boink boink, and that’s the miracle of life,” Wooyoung explained crudely, even throwing in a few vulgar gestures for added emphasis. “There, I even included curriculum for the Bible thumpers.”

You grimaced at his tactless anatomy lesson and shut your book without another word. “That’s gross and blasphemous.”

Wooyoung only shrugged before folding his hands on the table’s surface and fixing a now serious look on you. “Don’t tell me you’re still squeamish about sex, Y/N.”

“I’ve never been squeamish, I just don’t need to shout about it from the rooftops.” You hoped that the blush you were undoubtedly now sporting didn’t undermine your words.

“Oh, boo, so boring,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and slumped back onto the table, his chin resting on his forearms.

“Hey guys.”

You jumped as someone slid into the seat next to you, scaring the daylights out of you. Your pen was raised, ready to attack your would-be assailant before you realized it was only Yunho—one of your and Wooyoung’s few mutual friends—who had made a sudden appearance.

“Can you not just drop in like that?” you asked, lowering the pen now that you were no longer in danger.

“I announced myself! Maybe you just need to have more awareness for your surroundings!” Yunho whispered shrilly.

“Shh!” A fourth person joined in, this time from the librarian desk, where the older woman was giving the three of you the evil eye as she let out a particularly firm shush. You ducked your head bashfully and gave her an apologetic wave, hoping to convey that you would keep your friends in check.

“Have you guys heard?” Yunho started again, now lowering his voice to a more library-friendly volume. “They found a dead kid in the woods out by Hongjoong’s frat house, where that huge party was this weekend.”

You straightened at the news, feeling your heart skip a beat. “What?”

“Well, not a kid kid, it was a student here,” Yunho continued. “But they found him just yesterday. They think it was some kind of animal attack—dude was ripped to shreds from what I heard.”

“Jesus,” you breathed, your stomach beginning to churn at the thought. “What kind of animal?”

“I dunno, a wolf or even a bear maybe?”

“Dumbass, there’s no bears around here,” Wooyoung chimed in, looking positively bored with the shift in conversation.

Yunho cast an offended glare on the newly-dyed blond. “Hey, it’s possible! Climate change, bitch! Animals can come crawling here from all over now, the polar bears are migrating.”

Wooyoung rolled his eyes. “So you think this kid got mauled by a polar bear?”

“I’m just saying it’s possible.”

“Shhhhh!”

This time a student at the next table over had expressed their own irritation at the rising volume yet again. You sent them an apologetic nod of the head before turning back to your friends and lowering your voice once more. “Do we know for sure it’s an animal? Is there going to be like, an investigation or something?”

The taller boy shrugged and leaned a little closer to you to match your tone. “Cops were all over the place earlier but it’s calmed down a bit now. I think it’s officially been listed as an animal. Or, what they think it is at least. But I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that it’s some psycho killer, stalking young, vulnerable co-eds.” He grinned widely at the end of his statement, waggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated motion before poking you in the side.

You swatted his hand away and released a noise of discontent. “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Yunho, why don’t you make like a tree and leave before I chop you down at the knees?” Wooyoung posed, leaning forward on the table with an acidic smile stretching over his features.

“Come on, I’m just kidding,” Yunho laughed. “I’m sure that they’ll find whatever animal it was and put it down.”

You wished you could be as lighthearted about the situation as the other two, but the news brought on a sense of dread that was seeping into your stomach like sour milk. Had it really been a random animal attack? And if so, what kind of animal could rip a person to shreds, as Yunho had not-so-delicately put it? Or worse, what if there was a murderer wandering around campus waiting for their next victim to come along? Were you actually safe?

“There’s probably nothing to worry about at this point,” Yunho added, as if he were reading your mind.

“Good to know. On that note, I think it’s time for us to leave.” Wooyoung rose from his seat and gave you a pointed look.

This time, you actually agreed with him and began to gather your things, shoving them haphazardly into your bag. Wooyoung was at your side in the next second helping you before focusing his attention back onto Yunho.

“Try not to get eaten by a polar bear on your way home, Yunho,” Wooyoung winked.

“Bite me,” the taller boy quipped, but you and Wooyoung were already on your way to the door.

Darkness was quickly approaching as you walked beside Wooyoung back to your apartment. It made you weary, especially after hearing Yunho’s news about the attack. Your best friend, however, seemed completely unfazed by the potential danger as he slung an arm over your shoulders and hummed quietly.

“You aren’t worried?” you asked him.

“Worried? About what Yunho said?” he scoffed then and only pulled you closer to him. “Definitely not. And you shouldn’t be either. You’ve got me to protect you!”

You let out an amused bark of laughter. “You? The same person who makes me kill the spiders in your room?”

“That was when we were ten!” Wooyoung whined, giving you yet another pout. “I’m a man now, in case you hadn’t noticed!”

“Please spare me the toxic masculinity spiel,” you retorted, albeit with another giggle.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you continued down the sidewalk. You allowed yourself to enjoy the moment, because it felt like it had been years since you were both this close—not just physically, but also on an emotional level. You took a second to glance up at your longtime best friend and study him.

Wooyoung’s skin glowed in the waning rays of sunlight, blemish free and smooth as fine porcelain. His nose was a little large, something he had always been concerned with, but you saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. Even his dark eyes shone brightly as the day faded into dusk. And if you weren’t mistaken, you could have sworn he had been hitting the gym too—the arm wrapped around you was firm and not as wiry as you remembered it being during childhood.

You hadn’t admitted it to him, but he had grown up to be very handsome, and sometimes you found yourself wondering how things would be if the two of you had been more than just friends. It had always been a passing thought before, but now as he held you against his side and you looked up at him, the thought didn’t seem . . . particularly bad.

Just as you were rounding the last corner before your building came into view, you decided to ask Wooyoung what you had been meaning to for the past few days.

“Wooyoung, you’re not mad at me, are you? About the party, I mean.”

There was a short pause and you felt Wooyoung’s hand squeeze your arm gently, just as your phone chirped from your pocket. Automatically, you reached for it, digging it out and bringing the device up to check the notification.

It was a text message from an unfamiliar number, which made you squint in confusion. A split second later, realization dawned on you and you let out a small gasp.

It had to be Mingi, the boy you had met at the party.

You smiled at the thought then quickly remembered you had been waiting on Wooyoung to answer your question. You glanced back up at him and saw that he was eyeing your phone with a furrowed brow. His arm now felt tense and heavy around your shoulders but his voice was still light when he spoke again.

“Your friend from the party?”

“Oh, yeah, I think so. I’ll text him later—”

Wooyoung’s arm dropped from your shoulders and he took a step away from you, creating distance that might as well have been a brick wall between you two. He stared down at his feet for a few moments then lifted his head and smiled weakly. You noticed that the smile failed to reach his eyes.

“Listen, Y/N—forget about what happened at the party. I told you, it wasn’t a big deal and I’m over it. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Wooyoung started to turn away, shoving his hands into his pockets as he went. You felt your small window of opportunity slipping away, so you reached out for him, latching onto his jacket.

“Wait! Don’t you wanna come up and watch a movie or something?” you asked, eyes wide with an unspoken plea.

Wooyoung peeked over his shoulder at you while his lips curled into a lopsided smirk. “Maybe some other time. I’ve got dinner plans.”

#wooyoung's body #ateez #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung fic #jung wooyoung fic #mingi #song mingi #mingi fic #song mingi fic #wooyoung x reader #mingi x reader #ateez fic #mine #writings

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1dimagineclub · 5 years

Text

Liam Imagine

** REQUEST **

“5 Months”

{Your POV}

“Bye Love!” I shouted downstairs and saw Liam descending quickly without a shirt and trying to buckle his belt. “Wait! I'll take you to work.” Liam spoke as he approached. "You do not need it Liam, I'm very late, and you're not even dressed yet, I'm going to or I'll miss my bus.” I said leaving a seal on his lips and he whispered a "I love you & be safe." That I reciprocate.

I was just going to work, but today the city is crazy! I put a song on my headphones and continued the day-to-day running, if I did not arrive at work soon, I would risk being fired.

Liam always said I did not need to work, he makes enough money to support us and there's still plenty left, but I think it's good to have a job, after all, I do not want Liam to think I'm only with him for money or that he works to support me, I like to have my responsibilities.

I stopped on the sidewalk waiting for the sign to turn green, but as I looked ahead where my spot was, I saw the bus I had to get, I needed to get there right away because the next one would only come in half an hour, even with the sign closed, I saw that there were not many cars passing and then I tried to cross, the first car stopped beeping and I gave a small apology even though he could not hear, but as soon as he would pass the next, he came at high speed and I soon felt a great impact against my body, my vision was blurred and I felt strong pains in my arm and my left leg.

“Hey, girl are you okay? Do not close your eyes you need to stay awake!” I heard a voice and then what was blurred began to get dark.

{Liam’s POV}

(Y/N) had gone to work and I was finishing packing. Today I have to go to the studio to finish recording my songs. I took the keys from my car and turned it on quickly to the studio.

Arriving at the same, I greeted everyone who was there and I spent some time talking to one of the security guards since they were cleaning the studio. While I was talking to Paul, I heard pass on a newscast about an accident near my house, I wondered what had happened, and turned toward the TV to pay attention.

"Apparently, earlier today a girl was crossing the street but the traffic light was green and the cars were passing at high speed, one of those cars hit her full, the driver got out of the car and helped her along with some pedestrians who were passing. All we know so far is that she was taken to the hospital and it looks like it was pretty bad. The street vendors found her documents, her name is (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). " The reporter said, my heart stopped at the same moment and I bet it had gone pale because soon I got dizzy and I had to lean on Paul.

"Liam, I'm going to call the hospital to see how she is and if you can go, okay?” Paul said putting me in a sitting position.

"Take me... to her, I need to see (Y/N), Paul, please take me to the hospital." I pleaded already with tears in my eyes. Paul nodded regretfully and asked some people to keep an eye on me if I felt bad.

Soon the same returned with a not very good feature and I felt my heart tighten even more.

“We can go, but she still can not receive visits, only after some procedures and exams.” He spoke and I nodded frantically, feeling the dizziness coming back.

“Come on then, can you drive?” I asked the same one who nodded.

We headed to the parking lot to get my car - which Paul drove since I was not psychologically fit for it - and as soon as we got to the hospital there were already reporters at the entrance. There were so many that we could not enter but luckily a nurse saw us and let us enter the part where only authorized personnel entered.

Paul and I hurried to the front desk. “Where is the patient (Y/F/N)?” I asked desperately for the receptionist. “She just went into the x-ray.” He said calmly. "When will I be able to see her?" I asked again. "Sorry, but only the doctors can tell you that.” He replied and I snorted.

We sat in the waiting room and stood there watching the hospital move. Reading magazines and watching fish swim in an aquarium was no longer entertaining me, not to mention all the truffles that were on a table and I had practically shredded with the teeth. And no sign of my girlfriend. There was no doctor who even passed by so I couldn’t ask to see how she was. Even Paul was getting anxious because he left me some time alone to get out of the hospital and light a cigarette.

Until a doctor came out of the emergency room and it seemed like he was my only hope at that moment. "Are you Liam?" He asked with a small smile. “Yes, I am. Any news on (Y/N)?” I got up from my seat facing him.

“It happened that the accident was serious, she ended up breaking her left arm and leg. And from the impact with the car, she ended up getting some cuts & bruises on her face, and there could have been something worse that happened with her head.” He spoke looking at the her chart. “Something worse? How is she?” I asked worriedly as he tensed.

"As I said, she might have suffered a head injury, but luckily, she didn’t. She is breathing with the help of some tubes and is currently... in a coma.” He spoke and I rolled my eyes. “You gotta be kidding me. Is that a lie?” I asked and I saw Paul approaching. "Sorry, but no, it's not a lie.” He answered seriously and I felt the warm tears wet my face. Paul hugged me and I felt as if my lungs were going to stop working making me run out of air.

After five hours waiting at that hospital, the nurse informed me that I could see my girlfriend. I was slightly happy, to see her, but knowing that she was in that state. But as the doctor said, it could have been worse.

As soon as I accompanied the nurse and entered the small room, I was startled to see her there, breathing with the aid of breathing machine, her face and her pale hands, the only thing that had color was her bruises and her veins that were purple from the needles. I approached the same seeing her chest rise and descend slowly.

“My love...” I whispered, bending beside her. Unable to speak, I just stood there, caressing her hand and face and leaving a few kisses on her cheek and arm. It hurt so much to see her in that state.

After the doctor told me everything that had happened, I discovered that there was not an exact time to know how long she would be in a coma, he said that there are people who stay only a few months and then wake up... but others take years and in some cases they have to turn off the devices because they can not keep trying for a long time. That's what despaired me the most, knowing that I can lose it is horrible.

It was the second day I was going to visit her in the hospital, I took a rose to take that hospital air out of the room, (Y/N) always hated hospitals.

“Hi baby, I was thinking and... you were probably the best thing that ever happened in my life, you make me smile... make me cry, make me feel loved and find out what it was love. And I could not be more grateful for you. I love you. And I will say it every day of my life, even if you are no longer here and even if you can not hear me.” I spoke and left a kiss on her forehead.

The doctor said that she can hear me and even think about being in a coma, the same as not, maybe they are not listening to me, but what I really want is for her to know anyway I will be here.

* Day 3 *

Again I was at the hospital, yesterday I had posted on the instagram an explanation of everything that happened, because everyone was worried about the accident and my little disappearance. I called (Y/N)’s family and they are already coming here to be around, I warned my family and last night they came and stayed here while I went home to take a shower because I spent the whole day in the hospital.

* One month after the accident *

It had already been a month, today when I was talking to (Y/N) and I took her hand, she squeezed mine, the doctor said that this is very good sign and means that she can feel it when I touch her. I was immensely happy just to feel her grip that even weak held my hand. It was the most exciting part of that day.

* Two months after the accident *

After two months in hospital, I still kept my hopes of waking her up, I read some articles about people who survived and spent years in a coma yesterday, that gave me a lot of motivation, so I'm confident about her improvement.

"Did you know they're all missing you?" Even your cousin you always thought asked how you are. You must be wanting to disturb him again, right?

I gave a small laugh and saw that her chest began to rise and fall faster. I called one of the doctors and he looked at her and then explained that she had some feeling, something like anger, happiness, sadness and etc that made her speed up her heart rate. This made me even more hopeful, if I said something funny she must have been happy, or sad to remember that she is in that state. But at least that was an improvement.

* Three months after the accident *

(Y/N) was changing, she was getting leaner and it seemed that her appearance was over. Since I wanted to be able to put myself in her place and pass it on for her, the only problem is that she would be desperate just like me, and this is one of the last things I wanted to happen.

“My album is almost finished, you'll be the first person I'll let you listen to. Promise.” I saw a tear trickling from her eye.

* Four months after the accident *

“Down to earth Keep 'em falling when I know it hurts Going faster than a million miles an hour Trying to catch my breath some way, somehow Down to earth It's like I'm frozen, but the world still turns Stuck in motion, but the wheels keep spinning 'round Moving in reverse with no way out

And now I'm one step closer to being Two steps far from you And everybody wants you Everybody wants you

How many nights does it take to count the stars? That's the time it would take to fix my heart Oh, baby, I was there for you All I ever wanted was the truth, yeah, yeah How many nights have you wished someone would stay? Lay awake only hoping they're okay I never counted all of mine If I tried, I know it would feel like infinity Infinity, infinity, yeah Infinity

Eyes can't shine Unless there's something burning bright behind Since you went away, there's nothing left in mine I feel myself running out of time

And now I'm one step closer to being Two steps far from you And everybody wants you Everybody wants you

I sang the song she said was the best song on the album Made in the A.M. She always asked me to sing that song at night for her to sleep.

* Five months later *

It's been five months, today I'll go to the hospital later since her family is there and they want to be alone with her, I took the time to feed myself and sleep more calmly. But soon the phone rang and I had to answer.

“Liam?” I heard (Y/B/N)’s voice on the phone.

“Yes?” I asked. “(Y/N), she woke up!” He warned me and I hung up.

My joy was so much that I bet it was passing to anyone who wanted to look at me. I got my car and hurried to the hospital.

Arriving at the hospital, I went straight to the room where I was finding her awake and already without the plaster on the leg and arm, only those orthopedic notes and a band on the arm.

“My love! I miss you, I love you very much.” I said leaving several kisses in her mouth.

“Who are you?” She pushed me lightly.

“It's me! Liam... your boyfriend.” I said confused seeing her startled.

“I do not know you.” She spoke as she moved further away and took hold of her mother's hand.

The doctor called me out of the room and explained that she was like that because the coma time has left her with no memories, she can only remember her family and few things about her childhood. That is it, as if to her we never exist.

My heart squeezed but soon a light smile took over my face. I can make you fall in love with me again.

We left the hospital and she agreed to go to our house as long as her mother visited us every day. I managed to make her comfortable, but I had to sleep away from her because she did not trust me very much.

(Y/N) spent every day on my care and those of her family, I tried at all costs not to make her uncomfortable so that she had more confidence in me, but her memory still did not return.

* One month later *

It has been a long, tiring month, and I am very happy that she has recovered and now is doing treatment with the psychologist to try to remember something. (Y/N) until she has a good relationship with me, she no longer thinks I'm a complete stranger who might want to kill but she does not trust enough to kiss me either.

Today the day was calm, she had already had lunch and was in "our" room - that in these last months has been only her - watching series, I would even be close but I am afraid of her to find me very sticky and also for her to be able to have the space her.

“LIAM!” I heard (Y/N) call me and I ran to the bedroom wondering what could have happened worse.

"My God, what is it?" I asked confused trying to find something wrong.

“Liam!”

“What?”

“I remember you! I remember you, Liam, everything, our first kiss, our first date... everything! I love you Liam!” Listening to those words was like feeling a light ignite inside me.

"You really do remember everything about us?” I asked and she nodded. Then I felt arms wrapping around me and her lips crashing into mine. She had come back, had come back completely to me.

“I'm sorry, my love, I did not want to have forgotten you... you always stayed in my heart.” She apologized, leaving a few kisses on my face. How I missed it.

"You do not have to apologize, you did not predict that would happen, I just want you to let me take you to work for now on and promise to be careful. I was serious watching her nod.

“I promise!” She answered confidently.

“I felt... I felt that you were by my side all the time, it was strange... a good strange, it was as if I felt your love heating my heart and making me comfortable even with all of the medical equipment and knowing that I could not open my eyes, speak or even move. You were my light Liam, my only hope.” (Y/N) spoke serious and I saw that she was not kidding, my eyes were already wet and I just wanted to cry like a baby as I hugged her.

"You felt that because I love you and I'll always be by your side, protecting you and taking care of you. I spoke and we began another kiss, slow and calm, to demonstrate everything we felt for each other.

#Liam Imagine #written imagine #Liam Imagine Request #imagine request #Long Liam Imagine

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umbry-fic · 3 years

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To you, with love (1)

Summary: Mother's Day is a difficult day for all of them, and one that they each choose to spend differently.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving, Genis Sage, Raine Sage Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving & Genis Sage, Genis Sage & Raine Sage Rating: G Chapter: 1 of 3 Word Count: 5877 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 09/05/2021

Notes: This chapter covers Genis and Raine. It has been altered to work on Tumblr, so if you wish to read the original, do access it on AO3!

Next chapter

~~~

“Quieten down!” Raine yelled, slamming her left hand into the blackboard with a resounding smack. The math textbook she would be referring to today was tightly clamped between her right arm and her side, always in danger of slipping out at any moment. She levelled a well-practised glare at the entire class, sweeping it from left to right; the stragglers who had yet to notice her presence flinching back and keeping the random items on their desks, ranging from toys like Yo-yos to oddities such as... an entire fish? Who would bring such a thing into a classroom? Something that came from the water, icky and leaving slime on every surface it touched... Such a thing belonged in the kitchen, where she could chop it into a thousand tiny pieces or lop it into the pot whole, whereafter she could watch in glee as green fumes rose and tickled her nose with their delightful smells. It should not be here.

At least the students were starting to take out their notebooks and stationery, conversations dying down as attentive gazes were turned upon her, creating the necessary conducive environment for learning. Finally, the lesson could start, a full ten minutes after she’d first walked into the classroom. Why she still held out the hope that this process would become more efficient was a mystery even to her, when after years of holding this job absolutely zero progress had been made, the same scenario repeating day after day.

The classroom fell into blissful silence… Apart from the few whispers, that is, that were a staple of the teaching experience and could not be suppressed. Most of them were coming from the usual culprit, sitting in the corner by the window with that eternal grin on his face.

This problem had an easy solution.

Raine casually grabbed the piece of chalk sitting on the blackboard’s wooden frame, taking aim like she had thousands of times before, with a steady hand and a sharp eye. This was the method with a 100% guaranteed chance of shutting him up.

And… fire!

The chalk flew through the air, turning over and over with a swooshing sound, before landing smack in the middle of Lloyd’s forehead.

Score!

“Ow!” Lloyd cried, his conversation with Colette abruptly interrupted. His hands flew to his forehead to rub the circle of red that had appeared, eyes screwed shut from the sting. His back hit the chair, his momentum nearly toppling it backwards, only Colette’s quick thinking to steady it stopping the disaster from unfolding.

“It’s time for class, Mr Irving,” Raine said, grabbing another piece of chalk and twirling it between her fingers, smiling menacingly. “Anything more to say?”

I have more where that came from. Do you want a taste of it?

“Alright! I get the message! Sorry.” Lloyd scowled but kept his end of the deal, shutting his mouth. Genis couldn’t help but snort, earning him an indignant elbow in the side. Lloyd’s classmates were struggling to hold back their laughter, burying their heads in their books. They all witnessed this very scene every single day, sometimes up to multiple times a day, but had not grown tired of it yet. It would remain an eternally entertaining sight, if only to her.

“Now that everyone is ready, let’s start class! For first period, we will…” Raine trailed off, scanning her desk for the piece of notebook paper that denoted this entire week’s agenda. It was somewhere, buried under all the books and other loose sheets of paper - some missives from the church, letters from the mayor, but mostly assignments, including the one Lloyd had handed in yesterday that was nothing more than tiny shreds of the original worksheet, painstakingly taped back together. No clue how Lloyd had reduced his assignment to that state, nor how he’d had the time and patience to assemble it again. She wasn’t planning to ask, considering he had once given the implausible excuse that Noishe had eaten his homework. He'd gotten detention for that one. She wasn’t going to believe him no matter how many times he pleaded that it was the truth. Ridiculous! Did he take her for a fool?

Ah! There it was! She spotted the sharp corner of lined paper jutting out from under another of her heavy, hardcover books on ruins. The paper was completely covered in her tiny, spidery handwriting, and had been haphazardly torn from the notebook she kept at home, leaving the side jagged. There were so many subjects to cover this week that she’d had to write as small as possible to maximise space, squeezing her letters together until her hand started cramping, black ink staining the part of her hand pressed against the paper, eyes hurting from writing at night. She pulled on the corner, freeing the paper and thankfully not ripping it, thin as it was.

Squinting in order to make out the words, she sought out the header for today - Friday, each letter capitalised and the word circled with red ink. Under it was the activities relegated to each period, one hour each. The first activity was…

08 AM - 09 AM: Annual Mother’s Day activity. Reminder to inform the usual students that they only need to come in from the next lesson onwards. Cards, same as always. Materials are in their usual places and don’t need replenishing, except maybe the glitter. Might be a good idea to not get it to avoid a repeat of the Glitter Incident from last year. PREVENT LLOYD GETTING HIS HANDS ON THE GLITTER AT ALL COSTS, EVEN IF HE ASKS. ESPECIALLY IF HE ASKS.

Raine’s mouth went dry, her gaze flickering to the back of the classroom.

Before she’d started her first day as a teacher at the Iselian schoolhouse, she’d received a briefing from the previous teacher, an old lady who had held the position for the last 40 years (or so the old lady claimed). The lady was kind and understanding, the exact type of person who would be amazing with kids. (Though Raine wondered if that veneer would drop if the lady gleaned the truth about her identity.) Her back was hunched over and she took a full 5 minutes to hobble from the desk over to where Raine was, so Raine could understand why she was on her way out despite her obvious love of teaching.

Raine had been shocked to find that Iselia actually celebrated many of the holidays that most other places skipped over. In her and Genis’ long and arduous journey across Sylvarant to find a suitable home where they wouldn’t be driven out with pitchforks and fires, they’d stayed in a variety of places - ranging from sleepy villages to bustling towns, from settlements high in the hills to right by the azure sea. The commonality was that holidays tended to be localised affairs, celebrated by families who were fortunate enough to still be whole. Most families weren’t. The advent of attacks from increasingly aggressive monsters and the frequent Desian raids had... unfortunate consequences. But that was just life.

A day off was still given and the marketplaces still sold the requisite gifts, but schools certainly didn’t dedicate an entire period to crafting gifts when most children were orphans or missing a parent.

Iselia was different, spared from the worst of the brutality and more protected than most other towns. The treaty between the Desians and the Church to protect the Mana Lineage prevented raids, and the wild monsters never wandered into rural Iselia, hidden away in a small corner of Sylvarant.

The town was prospering, but… That made things even more awkward for the few students who didn’t have a living mother. Namely, the three children huddled at the back, who had been drawn together by their shared similarities that created an uncrossable rift between them and the other children. Lloyd, Colette and Genis had all joined the school in the same year as she had started teaching, and so they’d never had to endure the Mother’s Day activity because of the special arrangements she made. She herself would do nothing during this period, without anyone to give a gift to.

She had but faint memories of standing by a kitchen counter in eager anticipation, rays of golden sunlight filtering through a window and illuminating dust motes dancing in the air, keeping her hands busy measuring and pouring out ingredients in precise quantities. Her father had done the rest with expert fingers - beating the flour, sieving the sugar, mixing the butter - before placing the baking tray into the oven, the wonderful smell of a baking cake wafting into her nose. She’d eaten the cake with her mother afterwards, digging the fork in for bite after scrumptious bite. She’d wished her mother a happy Mother’s Day with her mouth stuffed full of cake, crumbs visible in the gaps between her teeth as she’d grinned, a rare smile that didn't find its way onto her face much these days.

She’d been chasing that taste in the kitchen for almost a decade - the sweet taste that had exploded in her mouth and lingered for hours, eliciting a giddy happiness that seemed to make her surroundings more vibrant, lit by a non-existent lamp. It continued to elude her, even after so much experimentation. What could the secret ingredient possibly be? Not spices, not monster blood… She could only try out wilder and wackier ones.

Sometimes, she wondered if that one memory was a false illusion conjured up by her mind to comfort herself when she had been mired in the depths of loneliness. If her parents had loved her so much, why had they abandoned her? She couldn’t wrap her head around it. The one question she had no answer for, even though it was her personal belief that every problem under the sun could be solved with logic.

She’d been so busy for the past few weeks that she’d completely forgotten Mother’s Day was next Friday, the thought but a faint murmur in the back of her mind.

A bead of sweat rolled down her neck, the silence in the room having turned deafening. Colette was rubbing Lloyd’s forehead in concern, Lloyd sinking down in his chair with his arms crossed while Genis poked him in the arm with a pencil. All three of them were, however, staring at her with expectant eyes. It was time for class to start, and it was too late to reschedule. Sending them out would draw too much attention as well... She had no choice but to soldier on.

“As some of you may remember, Mother’s Day is next Friday.” She set the paper back on the desk, swallowing hard. “It’s time for all of you to write your Mother’s Day cards. Supplies are in the cabinets where they usually are, feel free to ask if you’re unsure about anything. You have an hour, so get started!” She commanded, watching the expressions of the three in the back freeze in place as everyone else started scrambling around, excited conversations breaking out over what gifts people would be getting this year.

She walked to the back, dodging children running in every direction carrying coloured paper, scissors, glitter, all kinds of arts-and-crafts materials. It was complete chaos, like a whirlwind was in the midst of tearing through the place. “I’m sorry, I forgot this year,” she apologised as she reached Lloyd, Genis and Colette, feeling terrible. “You can just… sit here and talk, but keep your volume down. Try not to disrupt everyone else. I really am sorry.”

“It’s OK, Sis,” Genis replied. “You really have been busy for the past week. I would know better than anyone. It must have tired you out!”

He was one to talk. He’d been exhausted for the past two weeks. He kept on an attentive facade in class, but she’d found him slumped over his homework at home more than once, cheek pressed against the paper and eyes firmly closed. He’d drawn rather fantastical circles over his homework in his sleep, and left more than a few marks from drool. He was up to something, but it wasn’t her place to ask. As long as he wasn’t putting himself in danger, he was free to do what he wanted.

“You don’t have to apologise, Professor Raine. We’ll be fine!” Colette said, directing her cheery smile at Raine. It was just a tad bit dimmer than usual, her blue eyes lacking some of its usual shine. “We can keep ourselves occupied. Right, Lloyd?”

“Yep.” Lloyd offered nothing else, only pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from one of his many pockets and beginning to scribble all over it.

All three of them were concealing the pain they must have been feeling, the emptiness Raine herself had felt countless times, watching others shop for Mother’s Day and make the most thoughtful and creative gifts.

It must have been wonderful, to have a mother, and to know her love.

“...Alright.” She didn’t like how she was leaving the situation, but there was nothing more she could do right now. She had her own duties to fulfill.

She could only trust in their word that they would be alright.

~~~

“Uh, you two?” Genis cautiously spoke up, closing the book on mana consumption he’d been reading and attracting the attention of his friends. The three of them had made a silent agreement not to talk at all, hoping they could just fade into the background. Everyone else were bowed over their desks in intense concentration, some with tongues sticking out of their mouths as they contemplated what to write on their letters. From his seat in the back, Genis could spot the different types of letters - ranging from pink and heart-shaped to white and covered in an alarming amount of glitter, reminding him of the absolute disaster that had occurred last year and landed him with a hair full of glitter that had taken a whole week to wash off. What was the appeal of glitter? Sure, it was shiny, but how would the words even be legible under that eye-catching mess?

Lloyd was doodling something he refused to show either of them, edging away whenever Genis tried to catch a peek. Colette had attempted it once, realised Lloyd was trying to keep it a secret and had given Lloyd his privacy, happily going back to doing her math homework. Not that she was really concentrating; she kept gleefully lifting the paper every 5 minutes to show off her newest drawing. She’d gone from an adorable sketch of Noishe, curled up with his ears drooping and tail resting on the floor, a tomato balanced on his head, to a cute drawing of Lloyd and Genis as they were at their desks at this very moment. For some reason, it was missing Colette. She never drew herself, ever. Genis couldn't understand why.

“What’s a good gift for Mother’s Day?” Genis asked, placing his hands on the desk.

“Hmm?” Colette replied absentmindedly, looking up and pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear, pencil still gripped in her other hand.

“Uh… Flowers?” Lloyd shrugged. “That’s one of the only memories I have of my mother. I was gathering flowers for her, and she thanked me for them. She was happy, I think...”

“Or maybe something the mother likes? That’s a safe option for a gift in general,” Colette wondered aloud, tapping the pencil against her cheek. “As long as you put thought and care into it, though, then I think it’s a good gift! It might not even have to be tangible.”

“Yeah, I agree with Colette. But why are you asking in the first place? Do you have a secret mother you and Professor Raine have hidden away somewhere?” Lloyd asked, confused.

“Of course not, Lloyd, don’t be stupid!” Genis groaned. That was one of the dumbest things he’d heard come out of Lloyd’s mouth in a long while. Lloyd never failed to surprise him with how stupid he could get. If he learned, one day, that Lloyd believed pigs could fly... He wouldn't even be surprised.

A classmate sitting in front of them turned around and shushed them, glaring.

“Sorry,” Lloyd mouthed back. “So?” He probed Genis, poking him in the arm, likely revenge for earlier when Genis had unsuccessfully attempted to draw on his arm. His pencil had not left any visible lines on Lloyd’s red sleeve. The fabric was so thick, in fact, that not a single indentation had been left behind. How did Lloyd even survive in summer? He had to be boiling in there under that much cloth, right?

“I was thinking of getting Raine something for Mother’s Day. She’s not my mother, but… she’s certainly acted in a motherly way towards me.”

That was a gross understatement. He’d been a baby when he and Raine’s parents had decided to clean their hands of the two of them, entrusting him to Raine. With no one else available to act as a guardian, she’d taken all the responsibility onto herself, even though she herself was young and inexperienced. She’d learned all that she needed to far too quickly, sacrificing her own childhood in order to give him a chance at one.

When they’d still been outcasts, wandering from town to town to find a home, unsure if they would have a roof over their heads the next day or enough money to afford the next meal, she’d always prioritised him. Any extra scraps of food went to him, all of the new clothes went to him, the medicine always went to him first and her second. To others, she may not have seemed like the doting type, but she’d taken every opportunity she could to dote on him. Those were few and far between, and always at the expense of herself. Nowadays, as they enjoyed relative serenity, she was far stricter, but still found ways to shower him with love.

One of his earliest memories was tottering through the kitchen, crying for food. Raine had been feverish, stumbling through the house. Still, she’d persevered on, gritting her teeth and making him breakfast even as her hand had slipped on the knife countless times, blood seeping from the numerous cuts on her fingers. He could still remember the steady smile she had forced onto her face even as she must have been close to passing out, all in the hopes of reassuring him that everything was alright, doing her best to trump over the fear that must have been curled around her heart. When she’d thought he wasn’t watching, she’d bandaged her own hand, sweat beading on her face, contorted into a grimace. The tears she’d hid from him and reserved only for the nights had finally started rolling down her face, striking a chord in his heart, even though he was still too young to understand.

The original reason he’d learned to cook was to lessen the burden on her shoulders. It was only after that he’d realised just how horrible Raine’s cooking actually was, because he’d never had anything else to compare it to. Of course, now he could never go back. Seriously, why did Sis think adding chillies to milk was a good idea? He’d think the obnoxious smoke would be enough to clue her in, but she thought those were a good sign! Catching one whiff of her cooking was enough to make him feel faint, nausea broiling in the pits of his stomach. She was utterly hopeless in the kitchen.

She’d taken care of him through thick and thin, always prioritising him. If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t even be here today. She was the one who had taught him how to survive in a cruel world, the one to show him what familial love was, the one to impress on him what right and wrong were... She’d practically raised him herself.

Lloyd and Colette didn’t know the full extent of their past. They could never know.

“Oh, Genis, that’s really sweet,” Colette exclaimed, clapping her hands together, eyes shining. “That’s a great idea! Go for it!”

“What are you planning on getting?” Lloyd asked, leaning closer, interest piqued.

“I’ve already gotten my gift from the travelling merchants, truth be told. That’s why I’ve been working so many errands recently, to earn enough Gald.”

It was sitting in his room right now, hidden under a pile of clothes in his cabinet. The final book in a series about ruins, stocked only by the travelling merchants. Raine had been eyeing it for the past year whenever the merchants came around to town, but had no move to buy it, giving excuse after excuse about how it was too expensive, that it wasn’t a necessity, and so on.

He’d finally scrounged up enough Gald from helping the other villagers with odd jobs like cleaning houses and tending to gardens to afford the hefty price tag, leaving him with an aching back, trembling arms and a need to find an excuse to take a nap. Raine would be overjoyed to get her hands on this, but…

“That’s why?” Lloyd scowled. “You could have just told us, we would have helped you! You didn’t have to do it alone!”

“Yeah, Genis. Friends are supposed to help each other!” Colette said, pouting.

“It’s over and done with. I’m more worried that Raine wouldn’t want to be seen as a mother,” Genis muttered, fingers beginning to drum on the table.

“But… why?” Colette asked, placing her pencil down on the table slowly. “Isn’t being a mother a wonderful thing? To be able to see your child grow up and become an amazing person? To watch them achieve their dreams? Isn’t that what every mother would want? And when that’s taken away… Ah!” Colette clapped her hand over her mouth, averting her gaze. “Sorry, just ignore that.”

“Colette…” Lloyd muttered, throwing her a worried glance.

“I’m fine! Really!” Colette shook her head, waving Lloyd’s concern away. Lloyd made a tiny noise of protest, but didn’t pursue the issue any further.

Genis lapsed into silence, pondering how to explain it - how Raine loved children and working with them but seemed utterly terrified of ever having a child of her own, petrified by the thought that she’d turn out just the same as their mother, even as she proved she was anything but.

“It’s just a little quirk of hers.” Genis finally settled on that explanation. Enough to appease his two friends without giving away too much. It was true, it just didn’t give any concrete reason.

“I see… I think as long as your wish is to make Professor Raine happy, then your feelings will surely shine through! But if you want to make it as clear as possible, why don’t you just write a card like everyone else?” Colette said, gesturing towards the rest of the class. “You can do it right now, before the lesson ends!”

“Yeah, Genis, there’s another 30 minutes left! Come on, get to it! We can help you out, it’ll be fun!”

“Wha - no, I’m not letting you read what I write!” Genis protested. That would be so embarrassing! No way he was doing that.

Thank the Goddess there was a cabinet with materials a mere half a metre away from where they sat, almost within arms reach. He could do this without attracting much attention. A quick scan of the classroom confirmed that Raine was occupied, and wasn’t likely to notice his movement. Quickly running to the cabinet and rifling through it, he grabbed whatever he could and ran back to the cluster of desks that the three of them had pushed together at the start of the period, offloading all he had gathered. Orange and blue paper… That was all that remained. As expected. The rest of the class turned into hungry vultures once activities like these started, scavenging whatever they could and leaving little in their wake, only meagre pickings.

Orange was Raine’s favourite colour, the one she bought all her clothes in… And the lead would turn up just fine on orange. That settled it.

“You two can have the blue,” Genis declared, pushing the sheets of blue paper towards Lloyd and Colette, both of which stared at him, utterly lost.

But he didn’t have the time to care about them. Sitting down, he put pencil to paper, thinking hard about what he could write, tuning out the voices of his two friends. What would get the message across?

Lloyd and Colette held the sure knowledge in their hearts that their mothers had loved them, would have done anything to protect them. They could even learn little tidbits about their mothers from the people who had known them who remained in this mortal plane.

Genis couldn't help but envy that, but he at least had Raine.

Genis glanced at Raine, who was sitting on a chair she had drawn up to a student's desk, answering their endless questions with a patient smile.

Raine had no one. She had nothing but fading memories that she refused to divulge, memories that she hugged close to her chest, even as they pricked her skin.

She deserved gratitude, and the reassurance that she’d done perfectly well. She would make an amazing mother.

No.

She was one.

~~~

Raine trudged into her home, shoulders slumped, yawning. Another day of marking, dealing with the belligerent mayor and conducting consultations at the schoolhouse was finally over. The sun had long dipped below the horizon, replaced by a crescent moon that had cast the dirt path home in an ethereal, shimmering light, perfectly sufficient to make her way home.

She closed the door slowly, ensuring it made nary a sound. It was approaching midnight and Genis was almost certainly asleep. She didn’t want to make any noise and risk disrupting his precious rest. Time to tiptoe around all the loose tiles. Thank the Goddess she’d long memorised where they were located and could navigate around the house in total darkness, not a single candle or lamp aflame.

The sight of a familiar head of silver hair passed out on the dining table was enough to stop her in her tracks. Genis? Now that she was listening properly, she could hear his soft breaths, breaking the utter silence of the night.

What was he doing out here? She’d told him that she would be back by noon, sure, but she’d been delayed by work many times before. He’d never bothered to wait up for her ever since he turned eight, turning in once it got too late. He was nothing if not punctual, following routines like clockwork. They must give him comfort, in the same way it did for her - to see the world in an organised fashion, to try and slot everything into neat alcoves where they fit perfectly.

Silly child. He’d wake up with an aching back tomorrow, sleeping with such terrible posture. It was no one’s fault but his own; she would have to tell him off tomorrow. What was so important that he had to wait up for her, anyway?

But first, she’d have to get Genis up to his bedroom and put him to bed. Carrying him wasn’t as hard as one might think, since he hadn’t gone through his growth spurt yet. He certainly wasn’t the tiny bundle that fit snugly in her arms anymore, but she had practice lugging him across the house while he played the role of a limp sack in her arms. The delicate part was not waking him up, which involved trying to achieve minimal jostling of her little brother.

It had been quite some time since she’d tucked him in. He wasn’t a small child anymore, after all. She had to keep reminding herself of that, every time she looked at him and couldn’t help but think of the toddler she had taken care of, once.

Hmm? She spotted something, lying next to his hand. What was this? A book as thick as five of her hands stacked atop each other, the cover red and emblazoned with golden text spelling out “A Guide to Ruins, Part 5: Ruins Across the Asgard Region”.

Wait… This was the book she’d wanted for over a year, ever since she’d thoroughly combed through part 4 (on Triet ruins). How had Genis gotten his hands on it, when it cost the equivalent of almost an entire week’s worth of food?

She flipped through the high-quality pages, crisp and printed in black ink, filling the room with the scent of a new book, fresh and indescribable. It was one of her favourite smells, rivalled only by the smells created by Genis’ cooking, as he created delectable masterpieces in the kitchen, even if they were nowhere near as unique as her creations. It had been a while since she’d owned a completely new book, instead of a second-hand one. The second-hand books she settled for were often not in pristine condition, the pages stained with dubious substances or riddled with holes where it had been eaten through by bugs when the books had been left to rot on abandoned bookshelves, the information they contained nearly lost to time had they not been rescued. There was a history to be found there as well, though she still preferred the completeness of a new, untouched book. New books were hard to come by, however, and expensive. She wasn't one to splurge.

Slotted in between the cover and the first page was an orange note that slid out onto the tabletop. Picking it up, she decided to read through all of it, even with her tired eyes and the slight headache she was nursing. Genis deserved to have his message read if he had gotten her such a wonderful gift. What was the occasion? She didn’t know. Today was supposed to be special, wasn’t it? But she couldn’t remember how exactly, the thought having niggled at the back of her mind for the whole day. It certainly wasn’t her birthday.

Dearest sister,

I wonder if you’ll remember what day it is, when you receive this letter and the gift it came with. If I base my answer on your behaviour through past years, then most likely not. You're probably spending this day like you would any other day, even though to most this is a special day. It’s Mother’s Day.

You’re wondering why I got you something for this one day with so much history attached to it, aren't you? It’s a day that carries heavy emotions for both of us.

The answer to that question is that I just wanted to say thank you. For everything that you’ve done for me, throughout the years. You may think that it was your duty, but you were the one who made the choice to go beyond and do as much as you could, to give me the chance to live a happy life.

I know you’ve always held a burden within your heart, the fear that you’ll turn out just like our biological mother, that one day you’ll have the sudden urge to abandon me. But I know, with all of my heart, that this will never come to be true.

Sure, you’re strict with me most of the time. There are times when you yell at me, or make fun of me as a sister would. But you’ve always loved me. Maybe you don’t always express it directly, but it does show. I know you do.

Sorry for all the times I’ve been infuriating, or refused to back down, or been coerced by Lloyd into pranking you to the point of annoyance. I must have really made you see red. I can’t promise those will never happen again, though. I’ll just say sorry one more time? That’s not enough. Maybe a bribe would work better.

I truly hope you stop doubting yourself, for you’ve been an amazing mother. The best one I could have asked for. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I’ll work to be better, every day. I know I’ll never be able to repay everything you’ve done for me, but I’ll try my best. Bit by bit, day by day, from moment to moment. I hope I can make you proud, someday.

So, happy Mother’s Day! I hope you enjoy the book. I know you’ve wanted that one for a really long time, and your adoration of ruins has been made very obvious to me over the years. Don’t read it all in one go like last time, though! You were barely functioning the next day. You need your rest too.

Genis

Scribbled with a much more frantic hand at the bottom was: P.S. There's a slice of cake on the kitchen counter. Knowing you, you probably skipped dinner. I hope it's to your liking.

The letters on the paper warped before her very eyes from the layer of tears that obscured her vision, held back from escaping purely by her iron control. Oh, Genis…

The two of them were living a life of relative peace, far from the days of constant worry and hunger, where there were moments she had to shield Genis from mortal danger, unsure if she would see the sunrise again. Yet those days lived on in the back of her mind, a shadow she could never escape from, hounding her in moments where she thought she could relax. Even now, she worried that she hadn’t done enough, though logically, she knew she’d done all she could as a young child herself, shoved into an adult world she wasn’t ready for with no one to depend on.

Emotions didn’t bow down to logic, however. They had a mind of their own.

It was a relief to hear, directly from Genis’ mouth, that she’d done… well. A weight she didn’t even know had been pressing down on her chest had been lifted, allowing her to finally breathe easy.

She was proud of him, however, something that she had to find the time to express to Genis. He was brilliant, and already so responsible, far more sensible than most other children his age. This was most likely due to the circumstances surrounding his growing up, but... she always would be proud of him, no matter what.

She’d raised him, after all. He did not need to repay her for anything. The joy that came from seeing him happy and fulfilled was sufficient for her.

Walking the short distance to the countertop, she took up the fork lying there and dug its tines into the cake. It was as masterfully baked as always, making her empty stomach growl, the little piece she’d speared dropping crumbs back onto the porcelain plate. She dropped the piece into her mouth, feeling it melt as she chewed thoughtfully.

It wasn’t straight from the oven like her father’s had been; it wasn’t even the same flavour. But somehow, that same taste was back, sweet and causing an explosion of warmth in her chest, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

So that’s it. I’ve found it after so long…

The mysterious ingredient. It was within reach all along.

~~~

Next chapter

#fanfiction #multi chapter #tales of symphonia #colette brunel #lloyd irving #genis sage #raine sage

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ohshanksno · 6 years

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I'm always told to keep my mouth shut about these things but

It's really interesting how the world is becoming nowadays.

Those of you that may have not heard, Syria is being bombed because of "proof" of chemical attacks. I'm looking at sources and there is no evidence at all?? No pictures, no documents, no details, just "yes we have proof that Syria did it. France has analyzed it. U.K. has analyzed it. US has analyzed it. Three countries." (Source from abcnews, written by Justin Fishel, April 13, 2018)

Here’s some more sources that I read through:

BBC NEWS (has no author???)

CNN NEWS (Zachary Cohen and Kevin Litpak)

Some quotes that really brought my attention:

Russian Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova said the US strikes had hit the Syrian capital when the country "finally" had a chance at peace. -CNN, Zachary Cohen and Kevin Litpak

Iran's Foreign Ministry condemned the strikes. "The attack is the blatant violation of international laws, as well as ignoring the sovereignty and territorial integrity of Syria," -CNN, Zachary Cohen and Kevin Litpak

At an emergency meeting of the UN Security Council called by Russia, the Russian envoy to the UN, Vassily Nebenzia, read out a quote from President Putin saying the action of the US and its allies had made a "catastrophic situation in Syria even worse". -BBC

My question is, how come Congress isn’t being involved? From what we’ve been taught, Congress has the final say (ok, really, it’s just oversight over the president (just a mom telling her child not to eat so many cookies, basically)). To declare war, the President needs permission from them before doing so (The War Powers Resolution; and Congress’ power of being the Executive Power (but then, the president can veto their law and then it just...becomes a mess)).

But the fact that I have not seen a shred of Congress doing anything for Orange Guy says something. That’s says too much. And that says something about Orange Guy’s office, and that they’re basically turning a blind eye to everything, or see nothing wrong with him destroying the world just for more money. There’s no way in hell you can’t miss that bullshit he’s doing (BUT!! By law, he isn’t doing anything wrong, so therefore, he’s untouchable.)

Impeachment from Office (Article 2, Section 4, of the Constitution)

NEWSWEEK (Tom O’Connor)

FOREIGN POLICY (Joshua Keating)

CNN (Jeremy Herb)

Some more quotes:

"This is a conversation that needs to take place. The authority of congress should be asserted, particularly in the case of this president where he seems to be somewhat erratic when it comes to what he suggests is American foreign policy," Kildee said. -CNN, Jeremy Herb

"The Constitution gives tremendous authority for the president of United States to act on his own," said Roger Zakheim, a former House Armed Services Committee aide. -CNN, Jeremy Herb

Adler argues that in all these conflicts, Congress — if involved at all — generally simply delegated warmaking powers to the executive branch and only excercised oversight after the fact. -Foreign Policy, Joshua Keating

He added, "The Constitution says Congress shall declare war. It doesn't say the president can go to war anywhere, anytime around the globe." -Newsweek, Tom O’Connor

What some common average people of the American public doesn’t know is that the U.S. started all of this (Still don’t know how 9/11 happened, just only, the Middle East was blamed for it, no names or anything, but what am I to say?). Ever since the 1900s, and way into the 2000s. They send in military, and cause a commotion. Then, when it gets out of hand, then they’ll pull out their people and leave the rest to defend themselves. Dogs eat Dogs. Literally.

Which is really wild, because, none of this had no reason to be started. None of this should have happened, because sometimes, the US just doesn’t know how to stay out of other people’s business (i.e. the Vietnam War, and the Korean War, and WWII, and now the Middle East because of some oil scandal).

A lot of people are scared because not only is there war going on (rumors about WWIII about to start), there’s civil war everywhere. Civil war in the U.S. and the Middle East (I’m not sure about Europe, but I hear there are wildfires all over the world (which is uncommon for me to hear, but then again, the US is limited to only war, so :/ )). We’re struggling with discrimination of race, gender, and sexuality and gun violence (i.e. gay marriages, LGBTAQ+ lives, or PoC/Blacks lives matter, and school shootings).

Don’t get me started on the fucking medical care in the U.S. It’s honest bullshit (my xray in December? it was $829. Eight hundred dollars for a 5 minute x-ray. Ambulance rides cost $400. Nightingale (helicopter rides) cost you $1000 and up. All of that? Comes out your pocket, from what I hear. Insurance might be lucky to cover even part of that. So, if you’re bleeding to death from a knife wound to your gut, damn right someone’s going to pay for that $600 ride that took 2 minutes to get you to the hospital. And the waiting line in the hospitals are the worst. They take HOURS to look at you, so if you’re bleeding out, or dying in some way, shape, or form, yeah, you’re not going to be seen for some time, even if it’s an emergency (average wait is about 2 hours, and for my x-ray, we got there at 5 am, and I didn’t get seen til 9am). Welcome to America, where everything is paid for, even a cup of water costs you a dollar.

{Yesterday, we got the wrong mail that was suppose to go a street behind us, and my brother walked outside by himself to go deliver it. I ended up riding my bike out there because--even though this neighborhood is safe--I was afraid he wouldn’t even come back home and he was ok when I went out there to meet him, but that still doesn’t relieve my unease because he walks to and from school everyday and if he doesn’t come home a certain time, we start panicking (he’s also scared of going to school too because of that one scare that his school was going to get shot up (but it was some kids being really dumb and they considered it a prank but they got arrested))}

I’m also afraid of coming out to people about my sexuality, because I’m a PoC, and I have a minor disability (idk if it’s considered a serious one, so I’m gonna research that). With me going into a predominated white male working field (and being a PoC woman), chances are I would probably get paid a LOT lower than my workers, because I’m a woman, even though I did the job better. IDK how my field would turn out, because I’ve been hearing that women welders are the most sought out people, especially PoC welders. I mean, the average pay is like, 20, 25 bucks an hour? Which is super rare for anyone to get working at a job in the U.S. (average pay is about 15 to 18 dollars an hour at maximum for most jobs).

NASA Footage of wildfires

At the rate we’re going, there won’t be no 2020. I probably won’t even turn 25 and get to see the world. I probably won’t have a career. There’s going to be nothing but dead bodies and barren wasteland by that time.

Honestly, we’re better off being cavemen at this point.

#vin talks #world talks #just me ranting about shit

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lotsofdogs · 6 years

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Potty Training, Workouts and Swim Lessons… Oh My!

Hey, hey, hey! We’re already halfway through the week! For some reason whenever I arrive back in town after a weekend away, the following week seems to fly by. I’m not sure why – maybe because I feel like I’m playing catch up all week long? – but I’ll take it. Friday is comin’ but for now let’s back up a bit and recap yesterday, shall we?

Morning

My Tuesday morning began with a muffin!

I woke up needing some kind of sweet, bready carb and reheated one of Chase’s beloved whole wheat pumpkin muffins that I pulled out of the freezer to take the edge off my nausea while I read my devotional and eased into the morning. Once I felt a little better, I moved onto breakfast number two which looked like a smoothie bowl that I whipped up with frozen banana, frozen cauliflower, almond butter, light coconut milk (from a can) and a scoop of chocolate protein powder.

I topped everything off with a sprinkle of cacao nibs for some crunch and ate my breakfast as I worked on the computer until Chase was up and it was time to switch into mom mode.

We hung out around the house until 9 a.m. or so, mainly because I didn’t want to leave until Chase pooped in his potty.

Once that happened, we celebrated, danced and high-fived because pooping in the potty is a BIG deal around here right now!

Yes, my friends, we are smack-dab in the middle of potty training in our house! We actually started last week and so far things are going fairly well. (We’re mostly following the advice found in the Oh Crap! Potting Training book with some definite wiggle room since every kid is different. Oh and before you think we had potty training nailed in three days like the internet will have you believe is easy peasy, the first few days were a BEAST and potty training is definitely a work in progress.) One quick question for the potty training pros: At what point did your kiddos begin to actually TELL you they have to go potty? Right now we’re mostly reminding Chase to use the potty and prompting the majority of his trips to the bathroom which I am assuming will last for a while. I’m curious as to when kids transition into regularly telling you they need to go? We’ve had a handful of those moments but right now Chase seems to need quite a bit of prompting and reminding, though accidents are already pretty minimal.

Oh and another challenge? Chase refuses to wear underwear. He’ll wear pants and shorts all day long but he’s commando under his pants right now. Ha! Any advice as to how to make him think underwear is THE COOLEST? We have Thomas the Train and Paw Patrol underwear on hand but they’re getting the side-eye from Chase at the moment and a full-on meltdown occurs if we try to get him to wear underwear. There’s always something, right!?

With two successful potty trips under our belt, I felt confident we could make it to the gym without any issues, so Chase and I piled into my car and headed off to the YMCA for a workout!

Chase hung out in childcare (accident free!) and I completed a biceps/triceps/shoulders workout that looks liked this:

It was a quick but effective one and after more than my fair share of rest days last week, it felt good to get back into the gym.

Afternoon

Once I scooped Chase up from childcare, we drove to his swim lesson. After four months on a wait list for an early afternoon class, we finally got in (our previous early evening time was killer for rush-hour traffic) and Chase and I had a blast splashing and playing in the water. When we were done swimming, we changed into dry clothes and dug into some of the food I packed for us in the lobby.

I threw a banana and a packet of almond butter into my bag for myself but packed a Bento Box filled with Chase’s lunch for him to eat after our swim lesson as well. Chase loves watching the big kids swim and I figured we could have a mini picnic in the lobby while Chase ate lunch and watched the other children.

By the time we made it home, Chase’s naptime was on the horizon, so we played fetch in the backyard with Sadie for a bit before making our way upstairs for a couple of stories.

While Chase slept, I grabbed a shower and actually washed my hair for the first time since Thursday (bless you, dry shampoo) and then assembled a salad for lunch.

My salad came together quickly thanks to leftover salmon and roasted potatoes from Monday night’s dinner.

I ate my lunch and began working at the computer, feeling awfully proud of myself for actually consuming a decent number of vegetables, until I was hit with some serious nausea that had me feeling all kinds of sweaty and sick. Just thinking about my salad less than five minutes after I ate it made me want to puke. (Pregnancy is cah-ray-zee.) Thankfully I never threw up but I ended up sitting on the bathroom floor for a solid 30 minutes as I waited for the feeling to pass. Once it did, I ate a small bowl of cereal which also seemed to help settle my stomach and got back to work.

Since the nausea train is unpredictable around here, I wasn’t sure what to expect over the course of the next few hours but the rest of the day ended up being a good one! I was able to eat an afternoon snack and a sweet treat before Chase woke up and the two of us headed off to a late afternoon prenatal appointment.

Just to clarify since I realize it probably seems like I was just at the doctor’s office, yesterday’s appointment was the standard third trimester bi-weekly OB/GYN visit which is why it occurred so soon after last week’s appointment with a specialist.

My doctor was wonderful and let Chase help squeeze the warm goo on my belly and control the Doppler which he thought was really neat! We were in and out of the doctor’s office in half an hour and left feeling grateful for a positive update!

Before heading home for the night, we swung by a local park to meet up with my friends Carrie and Alexis and their kids so our little ones could run around and enjoy the sunshine. We stayed for just about an hour before driving home where Ryan arrived home from work about 20 minutes later!

Evening

Dinner was a simple one and came together quickly once I cooked some quinoa in vegetable broth with a little taco seasoning. I paired the cooked quinoa with a can of black beans, avocado, green onion, shredded cheese and leftover chopped green beans and topped everything with a bit of Himalayan salt and freshly ground black pepper.

Easy, filling and delicious!

Oh and before you think Chase is an amazing quinoa-eating toddler, I know from past experience there is a zero percent chance he would’ve liked this meal, so his dinner looked more like mac and cheese served with a quinoa-free deconstructed version of our dinner.

Once we were all full, we played around the house for a bit before doing the whole bed time routine. A number of you recommended The Last Mrs. Parrish to me a while ago, so I began reading it last night and so far it’s an easy read that roped me in almost immediately. We’ll see how it ends up!

And that was our Tuesday in a nutshell. Thanks so much for stopping by PBF today!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/potty-training-workouts-and-swim-lessons-oh-my/

#health #fitness

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