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im-whatchamccallit · 3 years

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Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)

Request: Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU

Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess

Word Count: 7.2k

(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)

Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.

“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.

It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.

“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.

And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.

You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.

“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.

“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”

“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.

You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.

“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.

“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.

Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.

“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”

“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.

Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.

“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“

“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”

You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.

“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”

The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.

“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”

There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.

“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”

“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.

“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”

Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.

“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.

“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.

“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.

“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“

“(Y/n), please-“

“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.

It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.

It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.

“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.

“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.

“So, you guys don’t care about me?”

“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.

“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.

“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.

“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”

“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.

That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.

But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-

“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.

“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.

It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.

“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.

“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.

“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”

“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.

“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.

And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.

He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.

“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.

“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.

“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.

“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.

“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.

“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.

You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-

“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.

He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-

“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.

His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.

“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”

He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.

“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.

“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”

You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.

But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.

After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.

Except when they did.

You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.

“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.

“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.

“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.

“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”

“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.

It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.

It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?

“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.

“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?

“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.

It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.

Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.

“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.

“I just need you near me.” He admitted.

You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.

“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.

You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?

“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.

You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.

“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.

“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“

“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.

“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”

“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.

“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”

You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.

“Good thing I have forever to do it.”

The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.

#ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #kim hongjoong imagines #ateez au #kim hongjoong au #ateez werewolf au #ateez soulmate au #kim hongjoong scenarios #kim hongjoong reactions #kim hongjoong fluff #kim hongjoong angst #kim hongjoong werewolf au #kim hongjoong soulmate au #kim hongjoong fanfic #ateez fanfic #im-whatchamccallit

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agendratum · 2 years

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the night of random dramas: a review

tonight i spent almost the entire shift at work watching random dramas, because i needed something to distract myself from my thoughts. but, i also didn’t want to get fully distracted from work and usually i just have something as background noise while working, so i didn’t turn on english subtitles (additional practice, hey). and so i watched a bunch of random stuff and now would like to chat about that cause why not?

so, to summarize

dramas: random

language of choice: chinese

attention: half-asses

别惹白鸽 Don't Mess With Bai Ge

i watched 2 episodes. because it only had 2 episodes. idk if it’s an ongoing or just a short story, but the 2nd episode did feel like a finale.

originally the thumbnail caught my attention, thus why i picked it for the first drama of the night. and then it started like this

[cue creepy music]

a lady confesses she wants to kill someone while some creepy tunes play? i’m in. honestly, this was the most words i understood through the whole night. but i got the gist without understanding other words: three ladies are fucked over by their respective shitty guys. they meet, they decide to help each other. (i thought they were gonna help each other kill them, but, spoiler, no one gets killed). some dudes do get slapped tho, by the main character, bai ge, the one you don’t mess with. not without a reason apparently.

honestly, was pretty enjoyable to watch. the cimeamtography was there. i actually wanted to find more dramas like this for the rest of that shift, but alas

this drama gets points for having a cool start, nice aesthetic, lady friends and for being concise

a couple of points are deducted because no one died

a warning for elements of self-harm, i think, and also some elements of harassment

update: it’s not a short story, it has 12 episodes in total it seems. so i guess the official youtube channel only has 2 episodes for the time being. inch resting

站住，花小姐 Stop! Miss Hua

i watched 1 minute of the opening. it felt like it was going to be too damn cheesy romantic even for background noise. also it was too big of a mood shift right after the previous drama.

but maybe it’s good, idk, i only saw some couples being too damn sweet in the opening, but maybe someone actually gets killed in this one? who knows!

恋爱指南我指北 The Romance of Summer

i watched 11 minutes apparently. got excited in the beginning because a) this drama is about game developers? i think? and b) it has an actress from begin again

this drama gets points for having a familiar face and a fun topic

points deducted for cliches being thrown at the viewer starting with the first 2 minuted of the drama and also for being too distracting for a person that’s trying to do her job, aka, me.

谎言使用法则 Better A Lie Than A Truth

i watched the whole 1st episode heeey!

so, points for being somehow literally perfect background noise. also for having fake zombies in the beginning

idk if i should deduct points for this, cause i was consciously watching without english subs, but also i watched a whole episode and hadn’t got a single idea WHAT the drama was about. things just kept happening. girls kept crying, getting drunk and being sassy. guys kept acting cool and all that. idk. idk what that was about. no clue. but it was nice. so, they can keep their points in this fake ranking system i’m making up here

青春创世纪 Something Just Like This

finally i thought to myself, hey, i can’t go on like this, but... i can go on LIKE THIS

jk. finishing the first episode of the previous drama i thought, i might not understand anything in whatever drama i’m watching, but i at least should be allowed to have an actually familiar face or a plot that could be at least slightly interesting to me. so i looked at my b-list of what i maybe wanted to watch, and found this drama, with xuan lu!

yes, if i wanted to look at xuan lu, i could had gone for wen tian lu, especially since i could actually go for watching wtl without english subs, but i doubt it would be a good background noise. they shout. a lot. they run around and yell. constant conflict.

anyway, something just like this, what a weird translation of this title. apparently it’s about e-commerce live-streamers. and yes, for this one i googled the summary, but first i understood what they were doing on my own, okay?

so yeah, again, points for a pretty interesting topic, stylish people going around talking business all day, having “don’t touch my car” as their theme song, one piece and pokemon figurines, insta influencers aesthetics, and of course points for having xuan lu in your drama

points deducted for not having enough xuan lu in your drama

oh yeah, and also points for featuring ads with zzh. i mean, the drama is from 2020, but still

i ended up watching 4 episodes and starting the 5th one.

this concludes tonight’s review of random dramas. tomorrow? who knows. might continue this insta influencer drama, might try out some other dramas from my b-list. or maybe i’ll try some other gong jun dramas or finish my weird friend. so many options, so much work to do.

#mt #don't mess with bai ge was def a highlight of the night tho and i'm still a little bit sad i couldn't just randomly stumble upon something #else just like this #which is hilarious considering that i finished the night watching a drama called SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS #sorry aslkdjsad #watching things and stuff

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solarune · 4 years

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silver and gold

pairing: kim taehyung x fem!reader

genre: smut, literally just some good ol’ pwp, billionaire au, established relationship

warnings: choking, both soft and hard dom tae hehehe, dirty talk, praise kink, oral (m + f receiving), unprotected sex (always use a condom, kids!!!), spit play, creampie, cumplay, fingering, multiple orgasms, slight degradation, orgasm denial, daddy kink, he slaps oc’s ass once (1), taehyung’s overuse of pet names

word count: 4,690

a/n: this is my first time writing smut so i’m sorry if it’s not that good lol, i’m trying :/ idk how often i’ll be posting this kind of stuff bc this took me a long time to write but i do want to practice more so we’ll see. inspired by a convo i had with @gamerguk during a very late summer night

The second you entered Seokjin’s mansion for the charity gala, Taehyung knew he was done for. After being friends with you for 5 years, dating you for 2 years, and being only weeks away from when he plans on proposing, you would think that Taehyung would be used to having his breath taken away every time he sees you. But no.

He had been talking to Jimin about their fathers going golfing together this upcoming weekend when he felt something at the back of his brain urging him to look around. He’s convinced that he has a sixth sense when it comes to knowing when you’re near at this point, because the second he turns his head, there you are, being greeted by the host himself. Jimin’s words now fall on deaf ears as Taehyung stares at you; he starts from your exposed shoulders and follows the curves of your body that are accentuated by the floor-length Elie Saab dress you’re wearing, his eyes linger on the slight bit of skin that’s exposed by the slit in the dress before going back up to note the gold rings on your hands and matching gold earrings. Taehyung already knows this but damn, he really is in love with you.

And just like Taehyung, you also developed a sixth sense over the years, somehow knowing where Taehyung is at all times. Seokjin hands you a glass of champagne and you take a sip as you nod at his words, laughing at one of his classic dad jokes before glancing around the room while he talks. Your eyes meet Taehyung’s and you smile at him, your eyebrows raising at the glittering floral pattern wrapping around his Alexander McQueen suit jacket that makes him the center of attention even at the edge of the room. You then excuse yourself from Seokjin, pointing him in the direction of Kim Namjoon, another mutual friend of yours, who had just entered to distract him. You finish the pale gold liquid in your glass before making your way over to Taehyung, ignoring the stares you can feel on your figure because you only ever have eyes for one man.

“There you are, my love,” Taehyung says as you close the distance between the two of you, carelessly interrupting the conversation that him and Jimin were in the middle of just to greet you. “I was just beginning to wonder if Hoseok had gotten lost on the way here.” He snakes an arm around your waist, a hand dripping in silver resting delicately on your hip to pull you closer.

You laugh at that, thinking back to not even 30 minutes ago when the driver in question had taken a random turn to get out of traffic and did indeed end up getting the two of you lost. “Ah, no,” you shake your head as you grab another glass of champagne from a passing waiter. “An appointment with a patient kept me at the hospital longer than I expected so we ran into traffic on the way here. It takes more than a few minutes for me to look this good, you know.” You wink at Jimin at your last statement, clinking glasses when he smirks at you.

Taehyung licks his lips with a hum as he gives you another once-over, his pants already beginning to feel a bit too tight at the thought of taking you home. It may have taken you hours to get ready but it would only take him a few seconds to ruin all of your hard work.

Taehyung’s hands leave fire in their wake as he tugs you closer to him, his fingers pressing harshly into your thighs as he pushes aside the fabric of your dress to caress the swell of your ass. The cool temperature of the silver rings on his fingers have a stark contrast to how hot his hands feel, causing goosebumps to rise along your skin as his lips brush against yours. When you look up into his eyes, they’re as dark as the suit on his body, and when he opens his mouth to speak, his voice is as low as the neckline of your dress.

“You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?” he rasps, nails lightly scratching at the skin of your ass before squeezing. “Wearing something like this knowing full well that we had to stay at Seokjin’s damn gala for the whole 4 hours.” His left hand reaches up to tug at your hair and angle your head for him to lick into your mouth and make you moan. “You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” he accuses rather than asks. You bite down on your lower lip to prevent a smirk from appearing on your face, shrugging your shoulders in response as you fiddle with one of the buttons on his white shirt. Taehyung opens his mouth to question your silence but is interrupted when the elevator dings, the doors opening seconds later to reveal your spacious penthouse.

Taehyung loosens his tie as he gently pushes you towards the bedroom, confusion evident on your face as you tighten your grip on his hand. “Go wait for me in the bedroom, love, I’ll be there in a bit.” You comply with his words, your whole body tingling with excitement at the possibilities of what your boyfriend has in store for the night. “And take off the dress.” You turn to look at Taehyung and are met with his signature mischievous smirk. “Wouldn’t want Mr. Saab’s assistant to give us another lecture on how to properly handle designer dresses, now do we?”

You enter the room and take a seat on the edge of the bed after stripping, thighs coming together as you wait nervously. You can hear glass clinking from the kitchen and wonder what Taehyung’s doing—and why it’s taking so damn long. But you know better than to leave your spot and check on him; last time you did that, he edged you for so long that you gave him the silent treatment after. Fidgeting in your spot on the bed, your hands subconsciously begin to creep toward your thighs but are stopped when you hear Taehyung’s footsteps making their way toward you. You sit up straighter and place your hands in your lap, your heart rate picking up once more just as he enters the room.

He holds a glass in one hand, amber liquid swirling around as he brings it up to his lips to finish before placing it on the vanity. Slowly, Taehyung approaches you and you feel your entire body freeze when he tilts your head up by placing his thumb and forefinger on your chin. “You’re gonna be good for me tonight, right pretty girl?” he murmurs, his eyes following his thumb that strokes your bottom lip. “You’re gonna take what I give you?”

“Y-Yes,” you whisper, clearing your throat when he raises an eyebrow at you. “Yes, I’ll be good.”

Taehyung hums thoughtfully as he retracts his hand, removing his suit jacket and placing it on a chair in the corner of the room before going back over to you. His eyes rake over your figure and you’re just beginning to feel shy the longer he stares at you when suddenly, Taehyung’s lips are on yours and you let out a moan when you feel his hand wrap lightly around your neck. Your thighs rub against each other at the sensation of his rings against your skin, his tongue pushing past your lips to lick at the roof of your mouth before he pulls away once more, only a strand of saliva connecting your lips together. “Lie down for me, love.”

You scramble to push yourself towards the head of the bed, barely having enough time to get settled before he’s clambering over you to lick at your neck. A gasp escapes your lips as he sucks and bites at the skin, body thrumming with excitement each time he runs his tongue over a new mark. His fingers toy with the waistband of your panties as he mouths at your collarbone, snapping the undergarment against your skin when he pulls away. “Bet you’re fucking soaked right now, aren’t you?” he teases you with a smirk as his fingers slide down to feel you through your panties. The both of you groan when he rubs your clit over the soaked-through fabric, your hands fisting into the sheets as he does so. A whine of protest threatens to escape your lips when you feel him stop but is immediately replaced with a soft gasp as he pushes your panties to the side to tease your entrance.

“You want it?” he asks you, teasing you even more by dipping his finger in ever so slightly. “You want my fingers in you, stretching you out to get you ready for my cock? Or what about my mouth, hm? Sucking at your clit before I fuck you with my tongue? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Taehyung feels pride bloom in his chest as he watches your face contort in pleasure, your eyes rolling into the back of your head with a whimper as your only answer to him. “C’mon, honey, use your words. Gotta say something or else I’ll stop.”

“Yes,” you breathe out as your brain struggles to form a coherent thought, anything to get Taehyung to keep touching you. “Want your fingers and your mouth on my pussy, please.”

“That’s my girl,” Taehyung praises you, his hands leaving you despite his previous words making your eyes shoot open. “Need you to prove to me that you’re gonna be good though. Only good girls get to be touched.” You push yourself up onto your elbows as you look at him, your mind still a bit foggy from his hands being on you. He looks at the floor and then back at you, nodding in your direction. “You know what to do.”

With that, you scramble off the bed, wincing from how hard your knees hit the wooden floor but you’re too eager to please. Taehyung chuckles as he watches you because he can also tell how eager you are, the sound of his belt buckle coming undone making your mouth water and making his cock impossibly harder. “Look at you, so ready to have my cock in your mouth,” he coos as his hand comes up to pet your hair, biting down on his lower lip when you look up at him through your lashes. Your hands shake slightly as you reach up to unbutton his pants, stifling a moan at the sight of his covered hard-on. Taehyung begins to unbutton his shirt as he watches you lean forward to mouth at his dick, his breath catching in his throat when you run your tongue along it through the fabric. He pushes your hair away from your face as you do so, his eyes hooded as he watches, and you smile up at him innocently, knowing that he’s only doing that as a way to tell you to get on with it.

You remove his boxers in one swift motion, your tongue darting out to lick at your lips when his dick is finally revealed to you. Taehyung’s eyes widen ever so slightly when you reach down to gather your wetness on your palm, groaning when you grip his dick and mix it with his pre-cum to spread around and get him wet. You drag your tongue along the underside from base to tip, eyes closing when your mouth finally closes over the head. Taehyung’s nails scratch at your scalp and his rings tangle with your hair as he grips it tightly, and you can’t help but hum at the feeling, the vibrations from the sound causing him to let out his own moan. You slowly start to take more of him into your mouth, his breathing stuttering as you do so, and you can feel your desire dripping down your thighs by the time he hits the back of your throat. Breathing deeply through your nose to control your gag reflex, you open your eyes to look up at him and let out a moan at the fucked out expression on his face, your hands coming up to grip his thighs as you begin bobbing your head.

“Oh fuck,” Taehyung whispers, teeth biting down on his lower lip at the way you hollow your cheeks each time you come back up. He feels like he’s in heaven each time you take him deep enough to hit the back of your throat, and he grunts when you release him with a pop to take a breath. “Good girl. Always take my cock so well, hm?” he praises you, and your eyes flutter shut when you feel him stroking your hair. You’re about to take him back into your mouth when you feel his grip on your hair tighten to prevent you from moving forward, and you look up at him in confusion. “Gonna cum if you keep going, sweetheart, don’t want that to happen.” He pulls you up so you’re standing in front of him, his hand reaching up to wrap around your throat as he brings his face close to yours. “The only place my cum is going is in this sweet pussy of yours, isn’t that right? That’s where you want it?”

He brings his other hand down to cup your heat, and you release a shuttered breath when you feel him purposefully dig the heel of his palm into your clit. “Ngh- want your cum in me,” you moan out as your hips buck up into his hand, his rings slightly cool against your skin. “Please, Tae, need you to fill me up.”

Taehyung pushes you towards the bed and you lay back, biting back a smile when his hands come up to unclasp your bra and throw it off to the side. His mouth latches onto one of your nipples, his tongue swirling around the sensitive area, and you can’t help but fist your fingers through his hair, your rings getting caught in the long strands and causing him to groan. You release your grip when you feel him begin to trail down your body, his kisses warm against your skin as he makes his way down. He slowly removes your panties, chuckling at the way you quickly kick them away from you, and takes a moment to admire the way you glisten even in the low light.

“Is this for me?” he asks you, head tilting to the side teasingly as he looks up at you. He places his hands on your inner thighs to keep them apart when you begin to squirm under his gaze, removing one to circle a finger around your core as he hums thoughtfully. “Hm… Yeah, I think this is all for me.” Taehyung brings a digit up and pops it into his mouth, never breaking eye contact with you as he tastes you on himself. “My pretty baby, always so sweet,” he mumbles as he leaves kisses on your inner thigh, teeth biting down on his lower lip while he smirks because he’s so close to where you want him and he knows you’re getting impatient.

“Taehyung,” you whine as your hands fist at the sheets while you squirm underneath him. You’re itching to touch him, to get your hands in his hair again so you can get his damn mouth on you, but you know that if you do that, you’ll be in a whole lot of trouble. You roll your hips slightly, as a reminder of what you’re waiting for, and he chuckles, nuzzling his nose into the soft skin of your thigh.

“Sorry honey, you know I like how you get when I’m teasing you,” Taehyung apologizes while wrapping his arm around your leg so that he can rub circles into your clit with his thumb. His words completely contrast his personality from just a few minutes ago, making you stop your squirming to stare at him. “Love seeing you get all needy for me, baby. Because you know that I’m the only one that can make you feel this good.” He brings himself closer and flattens his tongue against your heat, licking a fat stripe from your entrance up to your clit.

Your grip on the bed sheets tighten once more, hips bucking up as he continues his tongue’s motions against your core. Your legs shake as they threaten to close over his head, the only thing stopping them being Taehyung’s hands prying them apart. A strangled moan leaves your lips when he dips his tongue into your entrance, and when you finally open your eyes to look at Taehyung, he’s already looking at you and you can’t help but gasp from how fucked out he looks. He starts to rub faster circles on your clit and you whine, the noise making Taehyung groan and rut into the bed to get some sort of friction. Seeing him getting all worked up just from eating you out causes you to clench around his tongue, and both he and you know that you’re getting close to your first orgasm of the night.

“C’mon honey, cum in my mouth,” Taehyung encourages you as he laps at your heat. “Mmm- wanna taste you so fucking bad. Can feel you clenching around my tongue- ughhh- just let go for me, yeah?”

“Taehyung- oh fuck,” you gasp when he starts to suck at your clit. “Nghh- baby, feels s-so- shitfuckfuck feels so good.” You’re barely able to string together a coherent sentence from the amount of pleasure coursing through your veins and your stomach tightens as the first waves of your orgasm begin to wash over you. “Hhhh Tae I’m cumming, I-”

Tae smirks against your pussy as you writhe underneath him, wave after wave of pleasure coming as he tongue-fucks you through your orgasm. He places one last kiss on your inner thigh before sliding his hands up your body to hover over you. “How was that, baby, hm?” he hums, nosing along your cheek as he waits for you to calm down. “Felt good?”

“Fuckin’ amazing,” you answer, your words slightly slurred from just how blissed out you are. You feel like you’re drunk off of him, each touch and kiss leaving you with a buzz in your veins. Taehyung pulls his face back enough to look at you, a small smirk present as he looks at your hooded eyes. You bite down on your bottom lip as you lift up a hand to run through his hair, Taehyung’s eyes closing as he leans into your touch. Your fingers slip through the silky locks before settling on the side of his neck, thumb coming up to stroke his jaw. Taehyung lets out a soft sigh of content as you touch him, and your eyes are following your hand as you place it over his neck and give it a light squeeze. His eyes flash open and stare directly into yours and you can’t help but giggle as he glares at you in warning. “Want your cock now, Taehyungie,” you smile brightly at him as you bat your eyelashes.

Taehyung chuckles at that, his own hand coming up to wrap around your throat as he cocks an eyebrow at you and squeezes his hand just enough to make your breathing stutter. “I don’t know if you deserve my cock yet,” he teases you, and your eyes become wide at his words. “Wearing that dress tonight just to tease me, demanding my cock and thinking you’ll get it just like that. You’ve been acting like a slut all night, haven’t you, honey. I give you one orgasm and this is how you’re going to act?”

You shiver at the insult and let out a soft gasp when his hand tightens around your throat just a little bit more. “I’ll fuck your little pussy with my fingers as long as you don’t cum,” he says while his hand slides down your body once more. “If you can behave, then I’ll reward you.” Before you can even open your mouth, Taehyung is sliding a finger in and begins pumping it in and out of you, chuckling when he sees just how tightly you clutch at the sheets. “You’ve wanted something in this greedy pussy of yours all night long, huh?” he asks you, not expecting an answer because he already knows it.

Not like you could answer anyways, especially when he slipped a second finger in and started fucking you faster. You could feel a second orgasm coming, your stomach tightening faster by the second, only for Taehyung to rip it away from you when he suddenly removes his fingers. The speed at which you pick your head up to glare at him almost gives you whiplash, and Taehyung only smiles at you widely, stroking your sides softly to bring you down from your impending pleasure. He continues this twice more and by the end of your third ruined orgasm, you’re on the verge of tears, your legs shaking around his torso as Taehyung just stares down at you smugly. “Why are you crying?” he mocks you. “I thought you were going to take what I give you. I’m giving you my fingers, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I want more,” you cry, your shaking hands coming up to grip at his biceps desperately. “I need more, please.”

“Beg for it then,” Taehyung says as he begins to rub at your clit. Your body shivers at both his words and the stimulation. “Beg for more and maybe I’ll give it to you.”

“I want you, Taehyung, I need you. I want you to stuff my tight pussy with your cock, want to feel you fill me up with your cum.” His fingers pick up speed and your whole body begins to shake. You’re babbling at this point, your brain working on overdrive to try to string together the perfect combination of words that will get Taehyung to finally fuck you as your toes begin to curl from his touch. “Want you to fuck me hard- fuckyes- want you to make me cum so bad. Please daddy, I just wanna cum.” You open your mouth to let out a long moan but his touch is gone before you can do so, causing tears to brim in your eyes once again. “Fuck me, daddy, please,” you whimper, a single tear slipping down your cheek.

You hear the sheets rustle and you’re about to beg more when you feel the head of Taehyung’s cock pushing into your entrance, causing you to open your eyes. You’re met with Taehyung’s heavy gaze, pupils blown wide as he pushes into you. “God, you’re such a fucking slut,” he groans as he slides in. “Who knew my baby was so fucking dirty. Calling me daddy and then crying and begging for me to fuck you. You’re so damn wet, you need my cock in your cunt that badly?”

When Taehyung is fully inside you, he only gives you a few seconds to adjust before he starts fucking you hard. He adjusts your legs so that your knees are close to your chest, hitting a deeper angle, and you let out the loudest moan that even pornstars would blush when he pulls out and slams back into you. “Such a slut for my cock, you’re only satisfied when I stuff this fucking cunt full.” He reaches down and pinches your nipples, your orgasm hitting you when he doesn’t pull his cock out and instead grinds into you.

“FuckfuckfuckI’mcummingI’mcum-” You’re breathing rapidly as wave after wave of pleasure hits you, your orgasm so intense that your vision goes white. When you come to, Taehyung is fucking you a bit slower, gaze still dark but a hint of concern showing in his face and in the way he softly strokes your hair to calm you down. Your eyes feel heavy but you force yourself to meet Taehyung’s gaze, smiling up at him tiredly as he begins fucking into you faster.

“Do I fuck you that good, baby?” he pants while he drills into you. “My cock is that good that I’m able to make you cum in seconds?” He pulls out to reposition you, the grip he has on you bordering manhandling as he turns you over and slaps your ass. “Hands and knees, honey.”

Before you even have the chance to prepare yourself, Taehyung is shoving himself back into you once more. He angles himself so that he’s hitting your g-spot with each thrust, and you let out a cry when his hand wraps around your throat to pull you up, your back pressed against his chest as he pistons into you. You’re speechless at this point, every part of your body drowning in just how good Taehyung fucks you. “Look at you, you’re practically drooling,” Taehyung says lowly in your ear, turning your face to the side so that you look at him. He brings his thumb up to your bottom lip and grins when you immediately open your mouth for him. “So obedient,” he says, still in awe after all these years at just how good you are for him. Your eyes follow him as he leans closer to you, slick gushing down your thighs immediately when you watch him pucker his lips and spit directly in your mouth. You allow it to slide down your tongue before swallowing, opening your mouth to show him with a grin.

“My pretty girl,” he mumbles as he presses kisses along the side of your neck, hand moving down to rub circles into your clit. “Now give me one more, baby, just one more.”

“Tae,” you whine, pussy clenching around his dick despite what you’re about to say. “I c-can’t. Not another one.”

He growls and then shoves you back down, his hand around the back of your neck as he shoves your face into the mattress. Taehyung begins pounding into you, a smirk on his face when you let out a scream. “The way you’re clenching around me right now says otherwise. Now be a good girl and cum for daddy.” You feel your body go limp as he fucks you good, your back curving and ass meeting his every thrust as you just take what he’s giving you.

You both reach your highs at the same time, your whole body shaking from the pleasure as Taehyung drapes his body over yours and paints your insides white. You feel his breath on your neck as he nuzzles his face into you and you let out a breathy chuckle while your hand comes up to pet his hair. It’s only then that you realize what you said to him in your time of desperation, and you have to stop yourself from pushing Taehyung off of you because “Oh my god, I really just called you ‘daddy’.”

Your boyfriend chuckles as he pulls out, the bed slightly bouncing as he rolls over and lands beside you. Your cheeks are blazing, both from the sex and from the embarrassment, as Taehyung pulls you to him and you can’t help but relish in his warmth. He presses a kiss to your forehead as he says, “Honestly, it’s a good thing I didn’t know you had a daddy kink in the beginning. Otherwise I would’ve fallen in love with you and proposed way too soon and then scare you away.”

You smack his chest as he grins down at you, his fingers running up and down your bare back comfortingly. “I was yours from day 1, Tae, you couldn’t get rid of me that easily,” you tease him, your eyes drifting closed as he continues drawing shapes on your skin.

Taehyung’s mind wanders to the black velvet box hidden in the back of the tallest shelf in the kitchen, and he sure as hell hopes that you have no intention of leaving because he sure as hell has no intention of letting you go any time soon.

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mercuryislove · 3 years

Note

Don’t hate me but… I kinda want you to answer all of the deep dive WIP asks 🥺 if that’s unreasonable tho, just 2, 9, and 10 please!

I am SORRY for the delay!!! i answered every question for BOTH projects so you're in for like.... several thousand words of shit that makes absolutely no sense, but i hope you you enjoy it! :)

1. Who are two characters that don't like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

White Crane: okay this is hard because like. so many people do not like each other. (I know I made a post once about how terrible it would be to be one of twenty-eight people that have the power of dead gods but are trapped in stupid human bodies and you're all a thousand years old and hate each other so so so so so much because you all SUCK.) But for the sake of simplicity, I will talk about Ciaran and Sihla who never got along but only played nice to keep Anwei happy. They absolutely do NOT put aside their differences lmao once everything kind of, um, blows up between the three of them, all they want to do is KILL each other. She makes it her life's goal to make him suffer, and he basically loses his sanity in the process of trying to find a way to kill her for good. The beef is unbelievable. ANYWAY, what they reveal about each other is that Ciaran is not nearly as innocent in anything as he likes to pretend and Sihla is not as guilty as everyone says she is. I mean, she is still a terrible person in many ways, but that does not excuse the things he did to her all those years ago. She hates him for many, many good reasons.

Old Blood: Andhira HATES the entire Ekion family, but specifically the oldest son (who does not have an official name yet.... oops). He doesn't much care for her either but is usually too busy trying to better his social standing to worry too much about her. Except when they're in the same room together (which happens semi-regularly because her brother is kind of in love with him lmao). They hate each other for the exact same reason and it's that they're both SO arrogant. They look down on everyone around them (which in Andhira's case is like. fair. She's the firstborn of the two most powerful people on the planet, and the only person that comes close to that level of power is her twin brother who was born a mere fourteen minutes after her) but think the other is completely unjustified in their actions. Really all it reveals to a reader is that they both kind of suck and need to get over themselves because all that behavior does is make people resent you. They only put aside their differences because she does kind of need his help once or twice, but they would gladly spit in each other's face and/or push each other down a flight of stairs in the name of pettiness.

2. What do you hope your readers will take away from your wip? Is there an intentional theme to the story?

These can be answered together! I started writing these stories because I wanted to have fun but they've both kind of morphed into a long-winded way of saying that like. it's okay to be messed up and hate yourself and have major internal struggles because there are people who still love you. I KNOW it doesn't sound like that from uhhhhhh literally everything I've ever said about this stuff but bear with me. The BIG theme is that love is EVERYTHING. All kinds of love. It's the reason to keep on going. You are never alone, even strangers can love you in their own way, etc etc etc etc. Also gay love fucking prevails always and forever.

3. What do you love most about your protagonist?

Yixing is funny and weird and definitely a horse girl and he kind of sucks sometimes because he's stubborn as hell and has terrible people skills and maybe also a drinking problem, but he is kind and empathetic and despite the absolute hell he's lived through, he still sees the good in people and knows that it's easy to make mistakes and that most people deserve second chances in life. Also I like him because he is without a doubt the ideal man and I made him that way on purpose. And god I wish we could drink together. I'm talking stumbling drunk, crying on the bathroom floor, please-hold-my-hair-i'm-about-to-throw-up kind of drinking. We would have a great time being stupid together I think.

Vera is resilient and mean and stubborn and cold and off-putting and hard to get to know, and she sucks for those reasons but it's also why I love her so much. She has also lived through hell and it didn't make her try to see the good in people like Yixing does. It just made her bitter and resentful. She warms up over time, but she fights tooth and nail against it. I also love her so much because she is the archetype of like. the washed up former prodigy that has to return sort of against her will to her old life, and she realizes that she misses it in some ways but also remembers exactly why she left. I would Not want to drink with her (because she doesn't drink anymore), but I would love to take one of her art classes.

4. Is there anything in the story that is implied but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

White Crane: This is hard because I'm so invested in my own shit that it feels obvious to me, but I try to lay out a little candy trail that tells the reader that Ciaran and Anwei are Not What They Seem right from the start. It’s hard to explain without specific examples but it’s in the way they talk, they way they interact with other people, the way certain things they say don’t line up, etc etc etc. And there is a Big Hint of what will happen to Ciaran in the second and third installment, but idk if that counts. Also there are definitely implications that Yixing is trans but that's neither here nor there (honestly I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not he should be explicitly trans or if it should be left to reader interpretation because well... I don’t know if I'm capable of writing the nuance of transness because I'm not trans despite my complex and confusing relationship with gender but I'm also not a thirty-something year old Asian man NOR am I a god NOR am I a former vampire hunter NOR am I like. any of the things I write about other than a mean lesbian so. who knows?)

Old Blood: TRUE FANS already know this one, but regular degular readers that haven't participated in funny question friday or read my random late night posting would not immediately know that Josef and the Sovereign were once involved. Basically the only characters in the story that know are Josef, Luka, the Sovereign himself, and Tahire. But there are definitely some hints peppered throughout conversations and perhaps some photos and trinkets that Josef has kept after all this time... It has like no weight on the events of the story but I just think it's fun. Once again I am way too invested to know if it's easy to pick up on or not but I think it takes some theorizing about maybe? Other than that there aren’t any significant secrets.

5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does the backstory affect the narrative?

White Crane: this is unfair because some of the characters are almost a thousand years old and some of them are like. 35. I DO have a full timeline written out of the thousand years of history that Ciaran and Anwei have lived through, if that counts as an answer. Like it doesn't have every single day and year, but it has all the big events for sure. Barring that, Yixing definitely has a pretty complex backstory. The man gets around lol and I try (and maybe fail?) to make him seem not too complex initially but then things get revealed and you learn more about him and are like “oh my god no wonder this man has Problems.” Also if he was like. “normal” and perhaps “well-adjusted” the story would not exist at all because he is the way he is and makes some of the stupid decisions he does because of his weird little life.

Old Blood: ONCE AGAIN, this is unfair because the Sovereign is like older than god. And Vera is 37. But like. I haven't fleshed him or any of the old ass vampires out nearly as much as Vera so there's your answer I guess? And I guess the important things are known from the start (that she was a prodigy, that she retired because terrible shit happened and she couldn't handle it, that she suffers from significant ptsd because of it, etc), but there is a lot of detail that doesn't come out until much later when she has to confront her Feelings (ewww feelings). Uh... the backstory affects the narrative because it wouldn't exist at all if Vera wasn't plagued by her fucked up blood nightmares lol

6. Which two characters have the most complicated relationship? How does their relationship develop over time?

White Crane: Ciaran and Anwei totally. They love each other because they're brother and sister and were all the other had for a VERY long time (and even when they were still uh mortal, they relied on each other constantly), but also they hate each other because they're brother and sister. You know how it is with siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but I can't imagine being immortal and having to put up with the both of them for all eternity (sorry guys if you are reading this somehow.... I love you but we are all so annoying god bless). They handled their newfound godhood very, very, very differently and it kind of colors their relationship for the rest of time. There were times where they were extremely codependent and other times where they didn't speak to each other for DECADES. At the start of our story, they're on much better terms and have buried all their hatchets, but it doesn't take much for that to change....

Old Blood: Probably Vera and Andhira? They're only brought together because of their shared fucked up blood nightmares, and neither of them like that thought. They both resent the other for everything they are, and Vera is pretty much completely hostile to Andhira about it for a long time (and Andhira is only just barely cordial lol), but obviously a significant part of the plot revolves around them like. falling in love so they DO get over it after a while :)

7. What is the most heart-wrenching scene in your wip? Why?

White Crane: When Yixing fucking DIES. I feel like this one should be self-explanatory. But I mean if you would like further explanation, it's unpleasant and slow and agonizing and nobody can do anything to stop it (haha....... unless?) so Ciaran gets to hold him for a long time and feel really bad about it lol

Old Blood: idk if there are any really heart-wrenching scenes but there are definitely some miserable and uncomfortable scenes like where Vera relives in vivid detail the days that she witnessed the gruesome deaths of her young apprentice and her last lover. They're upsetting because those are the two days that basically ruined her life (and one was the final straw that sent her spiraling completely out of control) and it's painful to watch her have to live with the guilt of what happened even if it wasn't her fault.

8. What is a song that you associate with your wip? Explain.

White Crane: not to be basic but absolutely without a doubt in my stupid mind “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears lol it's because uh. well. Everybody wants to rule the world right? Basically way back in 2019 when I was crafting the ideas for the dnd campaign that became this thing instead, I was definitely having a metal gear moment (honestly I’m about to have a metal gear moment NOW lol) and was listening to a lot of like. mgs adjacent music and latched onto this song (and also promises, promises by naked eyes lmao) as some like thematic element. Like my brain making amvs. You know how it is. ANYWAY the point is. The concept was originally way different and was supposed to be more about the immediate aftermath of the so-called end of the world (yes Yixing was still there and yes he was still just some guy), and it focused a lot more on power struggles between all of these insane people that were granted godhood in the wake of the dying world. Which........ is something I'd like to write about at some point because it's intriguing in its own way but at the time I was unequipped to write about that when I really just wanted to write about people who are, for all intents and purposes, quite average getting caught up in the batshit drama of higher powers. (fun fact: Ciaran was supposed to be a tyrant king that ran a death cult and Anwei and Yixing were working together to figure out a way to kill him. Which is. Kind of what my dnd campaign is like now lol BASICALLY he's like if Big Boss was unkillable and could also rip souls out of people's bodies and eat them. I absolutely do not remember what this question originally was. Something about a song?)

Old Blood: THIS is the reason it took me so long to answer this whole thing. I thought long and hard and looked through all my playlists and listened to random songs that came to mind but it turns out the song I was looking for was right in front of me the whole time. DUH. It's “Golden Light” by Twin Shadow :) In my humble homo interpretation, I think it's a song about being afraid to fall in love and. Well. That's the whole point. Also #spoilers but the first time Vera sees Andhira and is like “oops I think I have feelings” is when they've just arrived at Andhira's home and the sun is rising and she looks over at her as they stand at the top of a hill and she has her eyes closed to the sun and she's bathed in golden light and OOUGGGGHGHHH poetic cinema. (honorable mention goes to “Groove is in the Heart” by Deee-lite because it’s quintessential early 90s music that Vera would be super into)

9. What does your protagonist want most? What would they do to achieve this? What is something they wouldn't do to achieve this?

White Crane: Yixing wants to be happy for once. Like actually really happy instead of just. getting by. There's a scene where they're making wishes for the next seasons during the summer solstice and someone asks what he wants and he's like “uh I guess I want to still be alive at the end of the year?” and the other person is like “isn't that what everyone wants? Raise the fucking bar please. What do you REALLY want?” and he's stands there for a really long time and thinks about it before finally saying “I think I just want to be happy for once” and everyone else is like. wow. Way to kill the fucking mood dude. Anyway. He has had fleeting moments of happiness in his life but wants nothing more than to feel that way forever. It's kind of hard to say what he wouldn't do for that because like. there's not really much you CAN do in the first place, so I feel like there's even less you couldn't do. I guess he wouldn't like sell his soul to the devil or something lmao (though by being involved with Ciaran he's pretty much halfway there)

Old Blood: to be left alone. Vera just wants a normal life. She really truly does want to pretend that none of the horrible shit happened to her and that she was never a world-famous hunter. And she wants to teach art classes and live a quiet life!!! I mean, she is already mostly doing that exact thing when we first meet her, but obviously she has some hindrances (aka fucked up blood nightmares). She is begrudgingly helping Andhira because she assumes that will fix her problem and that she'll be able to get to that quiet living as soon as all is said and done. The only thing she really wouldn't do to get what she wants is like... live somewhere far away from Josef and Luka lol She likes having them close by more than she wants to be left alone.

10. Within your story's world, were there any events that impacted every character (or most characters)? How would they be different if this event never happened? (Alternatively, erase an important even from on character's backstory and imagine where they'd be now.)

White Crane: well. If the stupid old gods didn't all kill themselves and almost end the world then I guess none of this story would exist lol But the actual answer is like. If Yixing had never run out on his girlfriend of ten years then he wouldn't have moved across the continent to Jengmi and wouldn't have made a name for himself way out there and wouldn't have been scouted and recruited and wouldn't have met Ciaran or Anwei and wouldn't have gotten in the middle of the batshit grudge between a bunch of ancient petty gay people and wouldn't have DIED and wouldn't have made one of the ancient petty gay people in particular lose his grip on his humanity via a lust for power in a desperate attempt to guarantee his safety and wouldn't have been the reason that tens of thousands of people die in his name and wouldn't have accidentally set off a chain of events that resulted in him having to hunt down and kill the Actual God that started it all in a fit of jealous rage. So like. maybe he should have just gone through with the wedding. All things considered, his life would have been way less stressful.

Old Blood: uhhh, that's tough because the stuff that happens only really has any effect on the mortal characters (I mean yeah people still try to kill the Sovereign but they're too dumb to know the ACTUAL way to kill him.... haha unless??), so it would be more like a what if Vera didn't witness the violent deaths of both her apprentice and her lover and have a full blown nervous breakdown and abandon her career? Well...... I think most things in the plot would transpire more or less the same, except she would be WAY less pissed off about it. In fact, she would probably be hyped as hell to get the chance to make the acquaintance of the Sovereign's family like Josef had before her. The thought of Vera being upbeat and not a sleep-deprived asshole that hates being dragged back to her old life..... ew. Not that I enjoy her suffering but you know what I mean. It just wouldn't be the same.

11. What is something from your wip that you just really want to ramble about?

Are you sure you're ready for this. This is going to be so so so so long I'm sorry in advance. It's Saturday night and I'm alone and kind of sad so I'm just going to let loose.

As I hone down plot elements for next two installments in my little trilogy, I have kind of become obsessed with the passage of time and how different it must feel to someone that, well, lives forever. One of the ways I'd written (that has since been kind of changed) for Yixing to start to figure out what Ciaran really is was that he would casually be looking through his bookshelf and find an old photograph of Ciaran, Anwei, and their mom standing backstage together after one of his performances. And when he eventually asks Ciaran about it, he gets upset because how dare you touch the one thing I have left to remember my mother? To remember what my life used to be like? There are so many names and faces and places and foods and sensations that I've forgotten in the 940 years I've lived like this and I would give anything I have to see any of it just one more time because I didn't know that the last time I would ever speak to my mom we would have an argument on the phone about how I need to go to the temple and pray for good fortune on my birthday, or that the last time I would ever see my best friend would be at 6am when we both came into the studio to practice and he asked me to go out to breakfast and I said no because I thought a nap would be more important. And there are so many people that I've watched die whose names I never learned and whose faces I forgot the moment I turned away, and there are so many others that I loved so dearly that I had to leave behind because they grew old and I didn't. And I have lived lifetimes in solitude to keep myself a secret from other people and I have died more than any person should ever have to die and I have witnessed atrocities no one should ever witness and I hate everything about this life so much but I love everything about this life so much and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but I think I would give it all away in an instant if only to remember the scent of my mother's favorite perfume and I think I would give it all away in an instant if it meant I didn't have to watch you turn to dust in my arms.

ANYWAY. I think a lot about the agony of loving things that aren't permanent and how it really DOES drive you mad because lately I have been unbelievably nostalgic for certain things that weren't even that long ago but..... I didn't appreciate them at the time and I feel so guilty about it. (And like. I too would give up my entire life to be able to remember the scent of my grandmother's favorite perfume.) And all my pent-up sadness is for things that only happened in my childhood. I have pictures and videos and other people to share those memories with, but what does it feel like to be one of very few people that watched the entire world fall apart and rebuild itself and have nothing to hold onto from that time? What does it feel like to foster dozens of generations of children and outlive every single one of them? What does it feel like to have only fragments of memories of entire lifetimes? How lonely is it? I mean, Ciaran and Anwei have each other and that makes a difference but it still has to be the most isolating feeling. And then there's the pain that comes with memories that have faded or otherwise become hazy. I doubt either of them remember their father's face. They hadn't seen him in years even before it all happened. If it wasn't for that single photo he has, they wouldn't remember their mother's face either. Do they still remember her name? Or her birthday? Do they remember anyone else? Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, coworkers? If they do, do they even want to talk about it? One thing I worry about in my own life (and this is how I know I have Problems) is that I'm so afraid that talking about memories will alter them somehow. There are so many things that I don't even like to share because once the words are spoken the little vhs tape that has all my memories has been recorded over, even if it's just by a single frame. Something about it has been changed forever each time I talk about it. Do they feel the same way and keep things to themselves instead of sharing the sadness? I think maybe they used to talk about the “old days” or whatever much more often back in the past, but as the years went by.... they just learned to keep it to themselves.

I think maybe I have a lot of anxiety about the passage of time and of being forgotten!

Anyway again. The passage of time drives me insane. And I think it would make me even more insane if I had been chosen to carry the mantle of a dead god and would live forever. My dog died a year ago and I still cry like every single day thinking about her. If I was doomed to live forever I don't know how the sadness wouldn't swallow me whole! No wonder all the people in this book are fucking CRAZY!!

And don't even get me started on the Sovereign lol he's like “oh boo-hoo you've lived for not even a thousand years? Bitch they hadn't invented fucking GLASS yet when I was born. The horse wasn't domesticated yet. Cry harder!!”

#oc talk #4000 words later!!!!!#uh i hope this makes ANY sense at all lol #i wrote the responses to all of these at like 1am last night and the night before so. you'll have to forgive me if they're stupid

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symphonicmetal101 · 3 years

Text

Wishlist For Someone Special

Ok, so I'm feeling really sappy and just a little lonely. All my friends are boring and my family members are too young for me to take to do some stuff.

This is kind of a wishlist of things I wish I had someone to do with or look forward to doing eventually...not necessarily romantic, but I wouldn't mind if it was. (broskis, I ain't never been on a date, not even, like, a platonic one, so bear with me if it seems ridiculous)

Stargazing- lying on a blanket in an open field or in the bed of a truck, just watching the stars, pointing out constellations, and making up stories

Watching the Northern Lights- bundling up in our warmest winter clothing, grabbing a couple campchairs and hot chocolate as we watch them dance and flicker.

Laser Tag- sneaking around, just trying to one up each other, or being on the same team and still- try to one up each other😂

Paintball- a little more painful than laser tag, but still fun. Checking up on each other afterwards to make sure there aren't any really bad bruises

Graffiti- I've always liked the way it looks. I would love for someone to teach me, or for us to learn together in one of those public graffiti houses

A Willow Tree- I would love to find a weeping willow tree and climb it's branches, only to sit and read there with my loved one enjoying their company.

Just Drive- just take a roadtrip with someone I love, blasting music, laughing, singing, and snacking as we blaze down the roads. It doesn't have to be long.

Visit an Animal Sanctuary/Reserve- I find animals fascinating, but also find that sanctuaries and reserves are more educational and often more humane than zoos.

Volunteer at the Food Bank or SPCA- just general acts of service. They make me happy.

Pillow Fortress- I didn't really get to make blanket forts when I was younger, so I want to try doing something even bigger! I want to convert the couch into a cuddle palace.

Spontaneous Dancing- idk man, it just makes me really happy. My dad used to twirl and dip me when I was little, so that's probably where it started.

Cooking/Baking Together- so what if we make a bit of a mess? So what if we screw up the recipe? It doesn't matter, it was time well spent.

Cleaning Together- Growing up as an only child for ten years and then becoming the oldest means I've done chores alone for a long time. I want someone's company, maybe we'll talk, maybe we'll work in comfortable silence, or maybe we'll blast music. I don't care. I would be happy just to know I wasn't alone.

Learning One of Their Hobbies- I want to learn something they know!! Please, let me understand a little better, I just need them to be patient with me.

Forest Walks- especially in Fall. I want to walk down an old trail, listen to leaves crunch under our feet as more fall from above I want the blustery weather to give us rosy cheeks and noses by the time our walk is over.

Horseback Riding- I've done it before, but I would love to bring someone with me. You have more experience? Great! I love to see that confidence in you. You've done it a couple times? Yay, we're in the same boat! Never done it at all? That's ok! I'll do what I can to help you!

Outdoor Movie Night- we don't have drive- in theaters anywhere nearby, but give me a sheet, campchairs, and a projector? I've got us.

Indoor Movie Night- let's bundle up and cuddle together while we watch a new movie. Or maybe it's a classic. Idc.

Try New Food- let's go somewhere for lunch and pick something completely foreign...(I am not eating guinea pig again though, thanks.)

The Wharf- if one of us happens to live by the ocean, we'll be frequent visitors. Not necessarily the beach, bit on wooden planks where the salty sea air still reaches you. We can watch the boats come and go. (Fisherman's Wharf in B.C Canada is fun. There's a really good Mexican food place😂 There's a blind seal named Sammy that lives there, and you can buy a bucket of fish to feed him. Be careful though, seagulls are vicious, being pecked by one sucks...yes, I needed a bandaid and my finger was sore for a long time. Idk if it's still like that, it's been a while. Sorry, just reminiscing a bit.)

Painting- let's buy a couple canvases and paint and see what we can do! It doesn't have to resemble anything, just do what feels like you.

Splatter Painting- dear god I've wanted to try this for so long. Just full on globs of paint and flicking it towards the canvas. (I was never allowed to do it because it was seen as a waste of paint. I couldn't even do it with an old toothbrush on a small canvas😑)

Video Games!- Please teach me how to play! Video games are banned in my family. I mean, I've done Just Dance, but that's about it. Mobile games have been kept a secret...basically just teach me to play and don't make me feel bad about playing, and I'll love you forever, mkay?

Ice Cream Date- again, idk. The idea just makes me really happy, whether we're sitting in a small shop, eating and talking. Or maybe we're walking, maybe holding hands, trying to point things out to each other, but our hands are full, but there's no way we're letting go. Or maybe we're sharing a cup of ice cream on a park bench, just people watching.

Thrift Store Outfits- I want to go to a thrift store and pick out the most ridiculous outfits for each other. We don't have to go anywhere, but just humour me when we're alone by wearing whatever I found for you, and vice versa.

Writing- writing a poem, a atory, a quote, or learning calligraphy and just writing their name- I want to write something to you

Books- let's go to the library and choose a book for each other, one that neither of us have read so we can talk and ask questions, come up with theories as we continue to read.

Books pt.2- if you write me a note and give me a book telling me why it's one of your favourites, I'll melt. I'll do the same for you, and soon we'll have a few more things to talk about and enjoy together

Music!- you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to send you music that reminds me of you, and I would be overjoyed to recieve the same.

Music! Pt.2- if you happen to play, sing, or dance, let's make something beautiful together! If not, I'll teach you!

Improv/rp- just making stuff up as we go, not caring if other people hear our conversations.

Trampoline Park/Something Similar- I just want to try it. Don't care if I break my leg, I want to try it. I'll care if you break your leg though.

Plant Shopping- again, idk. Just the idea of choosing a succulent or two to take care of together sounds nice.

Dance Classes- maybe you're already an amazing dancer, I'll let you take the lead. Maybe you just know the basics like me, we can learn together. (I know how to do the basics for, like, salsa, cumbia, bachata, swing, and waltz, that's it. Please teach me more🤩)

Sewing/Knitting/Crocheting/Fabric Work- useful skill! And maybe we can make something for each other. (Spoiler alert: you're getting a pillow case, mask, or a scarf, I can't do much yet😂)

Rage House- let's just let loose! Make a mess! Yell! Doesn't matter, all of it's legit. I just want to destroy stuff.

Weird Cuddles- again, just the idea makes me happy. If you're lying down, I may as well just flop on you, right? Or maybe somehow we end up upside down. Cuddling while we read books or listen to music. Ok so maybe just cuddling but it feels weird because I'm touch-starved👌

Late Night Calls- I've never done this with anyone under happy circumstances. Could you help me change that? It would be nice to have the last thing before I go to sleep be reassurance and happiness.

Calendar/Planning- let's make a calendar together with pictures of the places we want to go one day. Let's talk to each other so we know what we both want and make sure we put it down.

Scuba Diving- this is something I've wanted to do since I was little- actually it was the first job I said I wanted. I don't want to do it as a career anymore, but I would love to try it with you.

Finding Random Things- little things that remind me of you. Maybe I was out and found a heart shaped rock. Or I heard a bird sing and managed to record it. Or maybe there was a cute keychain at the store that reminded me of you. And that would be enough to make me smile.

Ride a Double-Decker Bus- I've done it before, but the excitement that comes with the thought of riding one again makes me giddy. Just being able to see the city and people from a mobile throne😂

Bike Riding- let's explore nearby, just riding together. Maybe you have trails you want to show me. You can lead, I'll follow. Or vice versa. If we get lost at least we can laugh about it later.

Camping- lets share a tent and a campfire together, roasting smores as we laugh and tell each other stories. Maybe we'll try and sing a few songs too.

Punch Buggy- just playing the game properly will make me happy tbh. It's been 8 years of bending the rules😂

Board/Card Games- yes. I will get competitive. But that's half the fun. Also, I would like to play these properly as well lol

Museum Date- maybe somewhere local, or maybe we were driving by and decided to stop, or maybe we actually planned to go. Let's learn something new together, take some pictures.

Comfy- I didn't know what else to call it. Basically, take out, sweat pants, (messy buns), snacks, drinks, and a good show. Bonus if it's storming outside.

Rain- watching it rain, listening tonit rain, going outside and dancing or running in the rain, jumping in puddles- I want to do it all with you.

Little Gestures- little things we develop as we get to know each other, faces that we come to understand, hand movements we start to copy. Idk, I find it really cute.

Ok guys, sorry this isn't what, well, any of us were expecting. I guess this is my Valentine's Day post?? Idk. If you read it, I hope you liked it.

Feel free to put who you thought of in tags or comments, real or fiction. Or add to the list if you want. I would love to know😊 I know there's a lot of "I wants" but that's because for the first time, in a long time, I feel comfortable admitting that.

51. Mutual comfort characters

#obey me #obey me shall we date #not really blog related but oh well #valentines day

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obsessionsdumpster · 4 years

Text

A/N: sooooo idk what this is exactly, I just had an idea and decided to try and write my own fic for once though I’m not sure if it turned out good lol I think it’s a bit too long and I realised I don’t know how to write kissing scenes. Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think

A Ninja’s Day Off (Kakashi x reader)

(Y/N) stepped into the Hokage’s office, finding Tsunade sitting by her desk, a pile of books and important documents surrounding her.

“Hokage-sama, I’m here to provide you with the mission report”

“Excellent, I’ve already received and deciphered the scroll your team has sent me with all the informations you were able to collect. It seems all went smoothly, good job (Y/N)”

Despite the formalities Tsunade and (Y/N) were rather well-acquainted, being (Y/N) one of the few Hokage’s personal ANBUs meaning that she certainly trusted her. Because of that, Tsunade glanced at the girl standing in front of her and even though she was wearing the ANBU mask, she could clearly see the exhaustion that was radiating from her, hence she spoke: “(Y/N), you’ve been out there constantly completing quest after quest for quite some time now, I know that is due to the high amount of missions the village is currently dealing with, but I can see you’re at your limit, that’s why I’m giving you the permission to take a couple days off in order to rest and recover”.

“Thank you, Tsunade” replied (Y/N) with a smile, and with that, she was off.

When she reached her apartment block, she opened the door and stepped inside. The room was a mess, to say the least: there were dirty clothes scattered all across the floor mixed with random ninja scrolls with all sorts of seals written on them, along with some kunai knives and shurikens all over the apartment. She sighed to herself, realising just how long it had been since she actually stayed in her apartment for more than 10 minutes or so, just enough time to change and pack for yet another mission.

(Y/N) decided that a nice hot shower would help her take away some stress and tiredness, so she headed towards the bathroom, stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot stream of water that felt so nice on her bare skin.

After she was done, she stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her form, then, feeling her stomach grumble, she decided to head in the kitchen to have a snack.

Unfortunately for her, when she opened the fridge she realised that everything had already expired meaning that she had nothing to eat. Nice, she thought.

That’s when her eyes fell on a small paper bag that was laying on her kitchen table. She reached to it to inspect the content and saw to her delight that inside the bag were three big red apples, her favourite. Besides the apples she saw a small note: ‘figured you wouldn’t have much at home to put in your belly after being away for so long. Enjoy - Kakashi’

(Y/N) couldn’t help but smile widely at the kind gesture. (Y/N) and Kakashi had been best friends for a long time now, having been on the same team during Kakashi’s ANBU days and continued to hang out even after he left and became a sensei. To (Y/N) he was more than just her best friend though, for as time passed she started developing romantic feeling towards the copy ninja but always shrugged off those feelings out of fear of ruining their amazing friendship and because of the fact that a potential relationship would have been a rather difficult thing to handle for two Leaf Jounin such as themselves, their positions implying a dangerous lifestyle that put their lives constantly at risk; it wasn’t a secret that a normal love life wasn’t something that two Jounin of that caliber could aspire to. Truth is, she had been told by some people like Jiraiya (though he didn’t seem very reliable) that Kakashi did in fact return her feelings. It’s not that she considered that to be impossible, she had to admit that sometimes she could feel the chemistry between the two of them, but it was like they both shared some sort of unspoken agreement that kept them from bringing the relationship forward, preferring to stay as best friends. She would say she was fine with that, what she cared about the most was being by Kakashi’s side and she really enjoyed their unique friendship but she couldn’t deny that, sometimes, this situation made her kind of sad. (Y/N) thought that things were going to stay like this forever, but she was wrong.

Chewing on her apple, she started cleaning the apartment, picking up all the clothes from the floor and reorganising and storing all her scrolls. After she was done with that, (Y/N) finally sat on her couch determined to either take a nap or just relax. However she found herself just sitting there staring at the wall, boredom taking over as she started repeatedly tapping her foot on the floor. She was so used to so much action in her life that a simple day off was starting to become more difficult to handle than she could have imagined.

Suddenly an idea popped up in her head: ‘you know what? I’m gonna pay Kakashi a visit. He must be at the training ground right now, training with his team. I’m sure it’ll be fun watching him and team 7, maybe I’ll even be able to help him out, who knows’.

Thinking it would be fun to sneak up on them while they were training, (Y/N) approached the training field making sure to suppress her chakra to avoid being detected. She positioned herself on top of a well hidden branch of tree and, rather amused, observed what Kakashi and his team were doing. It looked like they were learning how to conceal themselves, judging from the fact that Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were all trying to find a good hiding spot to avoid getting caught by Kakashi.

Naruto managed to find a spot on the same tree as (Y/N) without noticing her. An idea popped to her mind and, with a mischievous grin, she appeared behind the blond’s back:

“Yo, Naruto” she said without a warning.

What came next was a scream and then a thud. Naruto had fallen off the tree and was now lying on the ground, his teammates and sensei approaching him, a puzzled look on their faces.

“W-Wh-What was that?!” said a shocked Naruto, followed by (Y/N) making her appearance jumping off the tree and landing in front of them.

“Hi everyone”

And before anyone could say anything, Naruto started screaming again.

“(Y/N)?!?!? Why would you do that??? I was perfectly hiding from Kakashi-sensei until you came and revealed my presence to everyone!!”

“Your ability to conceal yourself from other ninjas is the worst Naruto, it was obvious you were hiding on that tree” said Kakashi before giving (Y/N) his signature one-eyed smile “anyway, (Y/N) you’re back already, what are you doing here?”

“Well it’s my day off, so I though I would pay you a visit you know, to thank you for the apples and to see what you and team 7 where up to” she replied a bit embarrassed, realising she just admitted she wanted to see him on her day off.

“It wasn’t a big deal, really, I just figured you would like them” he said with a smile, scratching the back of his neck, which, (Y/N) thought, was kinda cute. “But since you’re here” he continued “would you mind giving us a hand? After all, ANBUs concealing techniques and chakra suppressing abilities are the best”

“Sure! When do we begin?”

And with that, Kakashi and her began teaching the young Genin all the tricks in the books.

When they finished practicing the sun was setting. All three team 7 members improved their skill a lot, especially Sasuke, but even Naruto did surprisingly well considering he wasn’t very well versed in hiding his presence, being the show off he was.

After saying goodbye to the kids, (Y/N) was left alone with Kakashi who, making sure his students were gone, spoke up:

“Well that was intense...are you hungry? We could stop somewhere on our way back and have dinner, if you would like to of course”

“I would love to! I’m starving, plus we haven’t hung out in a while, it’ll be nice to chat a little”

“Yeah” was what Kakashi replied, though he seemed, (Y/N) thought, to be a bit tense but she shrugged off that feeling once they started walking back to the village.

They decided to stop at one of their favourite cafes in Konoha (consciously avoiding Ichiraku’s ramen to avoid bumping into Naruto) to have dinner together and talk about the usual stuff like mission etc.

(Y/N) really missed talking to Kakashi, he was like a soothing presence to her, his voice never failed to make her feel a little happier then before. Whenever they were sharing these simple moments, even as just friends, (Y/N) couldn’t help but feel butterflies in her stomach each time. It was a bittersweet sensation in which she felt both very happy and sad because of the fact that she was in love with her best friend, but would be to scared to actually make a move.

She snapped out of her thoughts when food came and they ate in silence.

When they finished eating their dinner, they both exited the shop and started walking together through the village.

“So how was your last mission? You’ve been gone for quite a while. Tsunade told me it was a very important top secret mission” asked Kakashi after a while.

“It worked out somehow. I didn’t think it would take so long either but we had to deal with something unexpected which caused us to carry out the mission for 3 weeks straight”

“I see” said Kakashi before he went silent again. To be honest he was being pretty silent, not that he was and extremely talkative person, but still when he was with (Y/N) he would usually be more relaxed. This time however he seemed to be lost in thoughts and she found herself wondering what it could be.

They sat on a bench, admiring in silence the starry sky. It was a comfortable silence, each of them appreciating the others presence.

(Y/N) let out a small shiver when their arms accidentally brushed against each other.

“Are you cold?” asked Kakashi.

“No, I’m fine” she answered before letting out a long sigh.

“Is something wrong? Your mind seems to be somewhere else”

(Y/N) was taken aback by his comment, realising she had been just staring at the sky for a while, thinking about him, to be honest. She didn’t exactly know why but she felt the urge to be honest to him so she spoke her mind: “Nothing’s wrong it’s just- I really missed hanging out with you, you know, being with you and just talking about nothing in particular. And it makes me a little sad that these moments have become a rarity lately, because of our schedules and everything...”. She had no idea why she went that far expressing her feelings towards him. Damn this almost sounded like a confession.

When she realised what she just said, (Y/N) turned her gaze from Kakashi, trying to hide her face that was now a blushing mess.

Kakashi didn’t say anything. He was looking at her, a blush of his own barely visible under his mask. (Y/N) had never been this sentimental with him before. Could it be possible that she was trying to tell him what he wished she was trying to tell him? - he thought.

It was now or never, thought Kakashi. She had just opened up to him and now he felt like it was the perfect time to do the same and tell her about his feelings. “There something I want you to know (Y/N)” he spoke up, making the girl finally turn her face towards him with a questioned look.

“I really like you, you know, more than just a friend”.

That’s it. He said it. There was no going back, so he went on “I’ve been acting like we’re just friends but I can’t do it anymore because I think-“ he stopped for a second, thinking about what he was about to say “- I think I’m in love with you and can’t keep pretending otherwise”

(Y/N) stood there, her eyes widened and a shocked expression on her face. There she was thinking she had just made a fool of herself in front of Kakashi for almost confessing her feelings to him, and now she just heard him say he loved her??

Soon enough the shocked expression she wore was replaced with a closed-eyed smile: “I love you too Kakashi” she finally said, then added with a chuckle “I was scared to tell you ‘cause I thought it would ruin our friendship but if you put it like that...”

When she reopened her eyes she saw Kakashi lower his mask (which didn’t shock her much since being best friends for such a long time meant that she had seen his face in many occasions) and leaning forward, cupping her cheek. She did the same until their lips finally met.

(Y/N) thought that the feeling of Kakashi’s soft lips on hers was the best.

After a few seconds, they gently started moving their lips in unison to deepen the kiss.

When the two broke apart, gasping for air, they both smiled at each other.

Maybe, (Y/N) thought, things did change after all.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi imagines #naruto fanfiction #idk this probably sucks #its my first fic so bare with me #fluff #friends to lovers

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parkeraul · 5 years

Photo

anatomy | oneshot

a/n: i don’t know what it is but i had this stuck in my phone’s notes and i’m going to give it a try lol. i got inspired by a post here on tumblr and another one on twitter (both different, both NOT what you’re thinking they are) and this is like... nerdy!shawn? college!shawn? student!shawn? idk read it to find it out. plus, this is a work of fiction, so the situations named in here aren’t exactly what happens in real life, my dudes. i don’t know if this is how it happens, i’m assuming stuff just to give them an atmosphere. all built up for shawn and reader’s relationship to go somewhere on this imagine. sorry in advance to any medical students lmao.

shawn x reader warnings: cursing, smut (?). words: 7.272

It’s nearly 10pm in a saturday when he knocks on her door with his free hand, holding his book in his other hand kind of nervously. She tiptoes downstairs, quickly knotting the strap around her robe to cover her recent showered body. Her mind goes confused, wondering who might be standing outside at this time. Peeking through the magic eye, she can barely recognise the tall figure standing in front of her door with what she figured out as a backpack hanging on his back and something under his tattooed arm. She wasn’t expecting anyone from college because the finals were still happening and she finally managed to get home after passing hers, so everyone else should probably be stuck in their houses half studying, half praying. When she saw his hand coming up to curl in a fist next to the wooden material, she flicked the keys to the side and made sure to hold the upper part of her robe, pulling the edges together to cover her breasts and collarbone. Opening the door, she meets him wearing a desperate expression on his flushed face. He sighs in relief before putting his shit together. “Shawn? What are you doing here?” She asks smiling insecurely, he doesn’t follow her though. “Thank God you’re home!” He vents and exhales heavily. “I know this is super weird and random, but I honestly don’t know who else to look for. I’m really sorry. God... I shouldn’t-“ “Spit it out, Mendes!” She giggles, opening the door a little bit more to show him somehow that she’s welcoming him. “You know you can count on me to something more than just having my veins available for you to train your blood-removal skills.” She winks and he smiles shyly, remembering how insecure he felt when first asking her to volunteer and be his pair to this class in specific.

They’ve become pretty close, always getting paired for the classes because they knew that they were responsible and worked greatly together – always hitting high grades even in the most difficult subjects. Medical school is hard already, so they’ve found in each other an easier way to go through it all by supporting each other since their class is filled with so many selfish people. Shawn and Y/N were rarely hanging out when not in college – but more than friends, they are also something like partners in crime. Although he had a very serious crush on her at first sight, he kept on doing his best to get rid of the feeling eventually, even though he knows he’s not 100% there, he thinks that he’s seen everything he could and his rational side is working constantly to make him get used to live next to her like a normal person would do (seeing her as a nice classmate who’s there for him, not someone who he wants to trace every single inch and experience his daydreams with). She finds him attractive, she can’t even lie. But she would never make a move considering how reserved he is, fearing that he might reject her right at first and never look at her face again. Things couldn’t get this awkward.

Y/N opens some space for Shawn to step inside her living room and gives him a gentle smile, always reassuring him wordlessly that he can feel comfortable in her presence to ask whatever he wanted to ask – she felt more than glad to solve his doubts, actually.

“I’m sorry for showing up so late and...” He finally sees that she’s wearing nothing but a black cotton robe and her hair is wet, clinging to her back. “Well, s-sorry for interrupting your s-shower, I-“ Shawn facepalms and rubs his forehead, trying to brush his nervousness off and find the right words to say. He doesn’t want to look like a creep. “Mendes, you’re rambling,” She warns him and closes the door, grabbing his stuff for him to have free hands to take off his coat and shoes. Knowing it, Shawn rapidly does it all before putting both hands together to wait for further instructions. “Stop apologising! You know I don’t care about it.” Shawn knows that Y/N doesn’t really give a shit about things that some other people would do. She always says that a body is a body: it’s not an object and that a body and sex should be seen as something natural, not something who demands silly and unnecessary jokes when you look at it. And considering the partnership they’ve been developing, she felt more comfortable to talk to him about these things without stuttering or feeling embarassed. If they wanted to build a professional career, they had to deal with bodies normally.

Maybe this is one of the reasons why they’ve never sat down to spill the tea about their secret little crushes. Shawn is a gentleman, of course, and that’s what keeps him fighting his willing to love on her like he never did with anyone else. He is misunderstanding her words, perhaps. She always talked to him about how much she hates when their classmates started joking and sexualizing human bodies like they were made for nothing more than sex. But that didn’t mean that she’s not into finding out how their touches can melt delightfully, because that’s been currently taking over her imaginations more often than she’d like it to – debating with her own mind how wrong is this, how awful it is of her to imagine Shawn maping her body with those intentions that she wishes her whole class could stop feeding. Maybe she had forgotten to say that, if they’re both agreeing on doing this, if their feelings are matching, then it’d be a whole another story (that she’d love to live intensely, thank you very much). This is such a hot mess.

She trails her way to the kitchen and he follows her before he can miss the sight of her. She points to the big island in the middle of her kitchen for him to sit as she places his book and backpack on top of it. “What’s going on, Shawnie Boy?” She asks while opening her fridge to look for something to eat to offer him. “Thank you for being way too nice, Y/N,” He chuckles to himself, also thanking the universe for crossing their ways. “I couldn’t pass Sally’s latest test and she’s going to eat me alive if I fuck up with the upcoming final exam.” Y/N grabs a box of grape juice to put on top of the island along with some Doritos she found on her cabinet. She thought he might probably want to sink down in unhealthy garbage to calm his damn nerves. “Sally is really unpredictable, isn’t she?” Y/N jokes and also grabs what’s left of her chocolate cake inside the oven to join the other stuff. “What was it about?” “Anatomy,” Shawn says unpleasantly, grabbing the glass that Y/N is giving him so he can pour some juice to himself. “Women’s body kind of anatomy, more specifically. It makes me wanna give up on this damn class.” He opens the box and starts filling his glass with the deep purple liquid. “You actually can’t. This subject is... How do they say? Obligatory.” She says, staring at him and finishing setting the island with tiny plates and forks. “See? I know I should be studying music or whatever doesn’t envolve vulvas and labias.” His tone expresses all of his disappointment. Shawn hates to fail and also hates the whole process of learning from his mistakes. He never allowed himself to fuck it up even though he had no previous knowledge to execute something perfectly for the first time. “Keep thinking like that and you’ll end up seeing your own hand for the rest of your life.” Y/N is effortlessly pushing him over the edge of his stress, but he knew she was only playing around so he pretended not to care that much. He thought of replying her as boldly as she’s doing, but when she leaned forwards a little bit to cut a piece of cake, he accidentally saw her skin underneath the dark fabric – almost getting the view of the swell of her breasts. He swallowed harshly, immediately searching for his book to find the pages that have been driving him insane over the past weeks. ‘It’s fine. This is fine. Everything’s okay.’ He quietly warns his own body. Shawn shakes his head and takes a generous sip of his juice and tries hard to blink and miss the view of her not even noticing what just happened and still trying to cut a perfect square to place on a plate. “I... Mm... Have been reading from page 45 to page 97 over and over again for two weeks straight and-“ He starts with difficulty and, as if it wasn’t hard enough for him now, she’s licking and sucking at her fork she used to set under her piece of cake to lift it up and off the tin while looking him deep in the eyes, waiting for him to conclude his first doubt of the night. She didn’t mean to seduce him on purpose, but if she only knew the way she is messing with his head right now, she’d probably do something much worse.

Shawn feels like cursing all the words he knows out loud.

He’s been managing to keep his first impressions controlled for years. Why is this shit coming up again like he’s seeing her for the first time in his life? His brain, always hungry for coherent answers, figured things out in a matter of seconds. When he understood it all, he came back to earth and denied his own instincts angrily. Hopefully, he would never ever need to explain this reason to anyone else.

“And?” Y/N snaps him back to reality, removing the fork out of her mouth and clicking her tongue to finish the small taste she had from the tiny crumbles that were glued to the steel. “And... I...” He keeps on turning the pages frantically, not wanting to waste time. Who knows that she wouldn’t get him lost between running to the closest bathroom to splash some water on his face and staying frozen in his seat to never get up again until he stops hardening against his sweatpants during this quick lack of words? “I c-couldn’t quite understand and memorize these parts and their functions.” Shawn fixes a single curl back to its place and then he points to the figure on his book. “Really?” She frowns. How a smart and handsome guy like Shawn can’t understand simple explanations about a vagina? “Why have you circled this so many times? You can barely see what it is.” She points to a messy grey sketch. “It’s the clitoris,” Shawn rolls his eyes and clears his throat before moving on. “Need to remind myself that this shit is killing me mercilessly with this stupid amount of nerve endings.” “You wish, Shawn,” Slicing her cake, she jokes and wraps her lips around the fork once again. Shawn can literally feel the palms of his hands sweating and he swears to God he could explode at anytime. Why anatomy of the reproductive system? Why not microbiology or pharmacology? He knew he should be a pro by now. “You better take notes about this little thing in particular if you want to pass or make a girl squirm under you.”

Can she stop? Great. Now he’s picturing it.

“Plus, I can guarantee you that, once you get to find where it is and how it works, you’ll wish you could reciprocate the merciless part everyday.”

This is not study. This is torture. Bad grades and bad thoughts. The “perfect” combo. Shawn gets his notebook and pencils out of his bag and works fast to find a blank page to start writing.

The time flies by with her careful explanations. Y/N might joke a lot with him but she knows when to talk seriously. She’s patient to describe every single detail and say things once more in a different way for him to see it all in a different way. She speaks; he writes and asks again. All happening in a loop and Shawn’s pretty surprised that the chills that were taking over his lower region were gone now. He’s been doing his best by looking down at the paper all the time, refusing to peek at her. “No! Nah-nah-nah...” She says and stretches her arm to grab the eraser next to him. He falls out of his concentration and reacts by traveling his eyes from her fingers to the expansion of her covered arm and finishing at her now exposed collarbone. The scent of her moisturizer escapes her robe to invade his nostrils. He can’t help but inhale deeply as she brings the eraser to rub the words he’d been writing. “What’s that on your clavicle?” Still studying her skin, he asks impulsively. Shit. She looks at him and then down at her own body. “Oh... This?” She sets the fabric to the side a little bit more, now almost showing her entire shoulder. Shawn feels like choking on his own air. “It’s just a little scar. Got it when trying to run away from my cousin once. Nails strong enough to mark me,” She remembers and giggles lowly. “Unfortunately not as cute as this one you have on your face.”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

She just noticed that she revealed loudly one of her favourite things about him. For the first time in the night, he smiles. He feels his chest burning – still shyly – and she can’t take her eyes off his beautiful teeth, perfectly shaped and getting her missing the patterns of her breathing.

From there, the tension between them seemed to grow more and more and the emotions blooming up from this atmosphere were screaming louder than words, intensifying not only their desires but also the other feelings coming to their surface. It was like throwing alcohol in a bonfire. And it’s certain that the flames were getting higher and higher. They tried to focus one more time on whatever they were doing now (neither of them cared to understand exactly what it was), Shawn a lot more lost than her, already writing things that weren’t even about anatomy, he thought.

“Nope!” She says again. Erase, wipe the dust, explain again.

The clock is ticking.

“Shawn, no.” By now, he was finishing his third glass of grape juice and she had completely given up on her cake. Fork hitting the plate aggressively as she bends over the cold marble to repeat her actions. Shawn rubs his face and runs his fingers through his dark curls. Erase, wipe the dust, explain again.

“Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell are you doing?” If she was patient before, she’s not losing her shit for fucks sake. “Vulva is this external part, not the inside. The internal part is the vagina, down here in this entrance, see?” She’s pointing with his pencil and circling the spots with caution, because otherwise she might rip the page apart. Shawn drops his arms against the island and tilts his head to meet the hard surface, hitting his forehead and his sighs turns into a deep growl.

Erase, wipe the dust.

“God! Have you ever seen a pussy in your life?” He freezes in place and doesn’t get up, hoping she’s going somewhere else with this question. “Seriously! C’mere, I’ve got this kind of a plastic mould and you’ll touch this shit until the information gets inside your head somehow.” She stands in her feet and she knows that she’s being kinda rude. He doesn’t care, he knows he’s not going anywhere if she keeps on being all nice and shit but at the same time he’s so nervous that he wishes he could stay in that kitchen for the rest of his life until his problem goes away. “I don’t really-” His voice comes out muffled by the white marble under his face. “Mendes, you’re coming whether you want it or not!” She grabs his arm and pulls him off his seat. “I told you I’d help you and you know I won’t stop until I get my work done. Come on!” He seizes the last seconds where his face is still hidden to smile. He loves how much she cares about him now and it seems to vanish away all of her impulsive attitudes before. She just wants him to succeed and once she gets a goal inside her mind, she ain’t stopping until she makes it happen. Shawn gives up and she’s practically dragging him upstairs to her bedroom, steps punishing the degrees under her feet.

“Get yourself comfortable, I’m gonna find this thing.” She says as if he even could. Shawn falls in her bed while she turns the lights on and goes to her shelf, eyeing all the spaces where that mould could be hiding into. She tiptoes across her bedroom and checks every part of it like her life depends on it.

Wardrobe? No. Drawers? No. Desk? No. Under the bed? No. Bookshelf? No.

If the bedroom was even larger, she’d be running a marathon across it and the way she’s walking with powerful footsteps and picked up rhythm makes the hem of her robe swing and get loosened, sometimes showing the back of her thighs a little bit more and gradually exposing her chest. And if Shawn felt like dying before, now he’s sure that he’s floating between heaven and hell so quickly that he can’t do anything else but widen his eyes in desperation, fight his own mind and press down on her mattress for dear life. “You can’t think like that. She’s your friend, she’s not a piece of meat. Control your damn hormones.” He whispers to himself and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want her to think that he’s just another one of those stupid classmates of theirs or some kind of a weirdo who acts like he had never seen a semi-naked body before. Although that yes, he had never. Y/N might be cool about talking of sex and stuff, but he managed to just nod and agree. He never told her he was a virgin and something about the way she messes with him so easily makes him feel like organising a whole speech – in the most polite way ever – about how much he wants her to teach him everything: where to touch, how to touch and what to do to have her feeling not only relaxed in his presence but also pleased. If he only had the braveness, he’d be on his knees right now divided between begging for mercy or for a chance.

She closes the last drawer where she guessed the plastic cast could be inside of and turns around with her hands covering her mouth. Shawn looks at her concerned expression and concludes that she’s thinking, considering how fast her eyes are running across the room.

“Y/N, you don’t have to. It’s okay, I can find some other way...” Shawn tries to calm her and she tugs some strands, pulling them back and then dropping her arms down. She can’t think of anything else than this and she knows she might be taking a risk in here. She steps backwards to close her door and it gets Shawn frowning, gasping and blinking rapidly. What the hell is she doing?

If he could’ve only guessed that some dreams can come true sometimes...

“Mendes, don’t freak out, okay?” She looks at him worriedly and his grin is filled with doubts. He thought she was joking about his study routine or whatever happened a few seconds ago. But when he sees that her face ain’t changing to something more playful, he gulps once more. “You’re gonna have to do this in anyways in the final exam and, since you can’t even name things correctly, there’s no other way to do this. Tell me if you don’t wanna do this and I’ll stop.” She finishes and grabs the knot of her robe. In one fluid motion, she undoes it and the black fabric is pooling down around her feet. Right now she’s not thinking about her crush on him, she’s not trying to get him moaning her name. No. She’s trying to get anatomy inside his head because she’s been there before and she knows that, if he touches the wrong places, Sally is definitely not going to give him any other chances. There’s no dirty in here, there’s no seduction. She’s offering to a test just like she offered her veins once; or like when he let her feel his temperature and see if his throat was sore. “What are you doing? Y/N, seriously...” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Cover up, you don’t need to do it for me.” “Is that what you want? I’ll do if you’re feeling awkward on doing this,” She reassures him and catches her robe from the floor. “But I want you to know that I’m okay with it. It’s totally up to you.” Shawn can feel his limbs turning into cold stones and his leg starts to shake uncontrollably. He feels like someone just threw a ball on fire to him and he knows he’s got the opportunity to put the fire down. He just doesn’t know how. “C-Can you... like...” He rubs his face, still not looking at her (who’s covering her front with the robe now) and tries to make a smart decision. “Get under your covers so I... can... t-touch you without looking at you?” “Is this going to make you feel more comfortable?” “Y-Yes.” “I’ll try to guide you then.”

An inconvenient silence takes over the place and it had never been so annoying. He gets up, turning his back to her and she goes under her blanket, trying to feel less unsuited. “Hold on. I’ll wash my hands before... you know...” “Second door to the right.”

A few minutes later, Shawn is back and not so afraid. She looks at him and sees that his hairline is wet, he might probably had splashed some water on his face before returning. “Are you okay?” She asks, feeling her chest heaving in concern. “I’m good,” He closes the door with his foot and keeps his hands in the air, away from any object. “Sure you wanna keep going? You don’t have to-” “I’m sure,” She nods and he sits at the end of the bed. “With that I’m even feeling like a real patient now.” She points at his hands with her chin and chuckles bending her knees. He follows her and giggles too. He can’t even believe how amazing she is, he feels like nothing in this world can gift her enough for being this good to him. “You can, like, start from my pubic bone and then you can say what you remember, you know?” She incentivates him. “When you get to touch those parts we were seeing down in there, you’ll tell me what it is and what is it for.” He nods and she shifts her body up closer to the headboard, making some space for him to come forward and slip one hand under the blanket. “Don’t you want me to wear gloves?” “I’m out of gloves in here but I don’t really mind.” She says and he’s just going with her flow. “Showed you my exams before the tests, so you also know that I don’t have anything you should worry about.” She’s giving him so many reasons to leave his nervousness behind that he’s feeling like he’d forgotten for a moment that, on top of it all, they’re still friends. They’re not strangers. They should count on each other and this is what she wants him to do, this is what he wants her to do. “Go on, I trust you.” Her sweet tone reaches his ears and he smiles at her, so happy to know that she’s there for him and, more than anything else, she sees in him a person that she can trust. It’s just priceless. “And I trust you,” Shawn responds and she smiles back at him, feeling more comfortable against her pillows. “Excuse me.” He asks before touching her and she nods in confirmation, allowing him to go on. Shawn knows that this is not his body, so he must have her approval and excuse to touch her. His palm is softly sliding along the expansion of her shin to her knee and inner thigh, looking her deep in the eyes, attentive to any sign that she’s not liking it so he can stop. He wants to show her that he doesn’t wanna hurt her or do something harmful, so he rubs his thumb from side to side, caressing her and showing that he’s being so careful. She looks at her own ceiling, trying to keep her breathing calm and remain herself that she suggested it, so she must stay true to her pure intentions and leave her dirty thoughts locked and forbidden. He reaches the spot she told him to look for. He stops moving when he gets there and waits for her to give him another permission. “What’re you touching?” She asks. Shawn gets it as a chastise and lifts his hand up, widening his eyes. She slips her arm under the blanket and places it back to where it was, making him gulp and miss a heartbeat. “I’m not asking you to leave, Mendes,” She laughs. “I’m asking you what’s this specific spot you’re touching right now. This is still a test.” His eyes are still wide as ever, comprehending her words and looking for the answer in his mind. “The pubic mound... Okay...” He answers more to himself and tries to remember the words she made him take notes about. “It’s... a fibroadipose tissue that stays on top of the bone and it divides into the labia majora on either side of the pudendal cleft.” “Very good,” She praises and he smiles, actually wanting to scream in happiness for answering correctly and in tension, because her words made his nerves sparkle somehow. ‘Just breathe’ he says to himself as a mantra. “You can feel it if you want to.” The tips of his fingers press lightly against it, choosing random spots to feel and then he lets go of it. He can read about it in the books where his gravity is going to be centered. “Should I keep going?” He asks. “Yes, please.”

Oh God, not please.

Both of them getting a type of disquietude after this word in particular. She didn’t mean to say it, she knows that ‘please’ doesn’t even fit correctly to the moment but somehow it escaped from her lips nearing a state of beg. She couldn’t let him know. This is still forbidden. He swallows harshly and moves down slowly, almost reaching his next stop.

“Okay, stop.” She says and he immediately stays still. “I’m gonna ask you something very embarassing but necessary.” “...Alright?!...” Shawn eyes her with concentration, trying to understand if he did something wrong at any point. “Lick your finger before touching this next spot,” Unable to look him in the eyes, she asks and covers her face. This makes him comfortable to remove his hand and lick his index finger before she can see him doing it. “You shouldn’t do this to your patients, but I’m very sensitive and when it’s all dry it might hurt a little.” “Okay,” He gets back to where he was before and sets his hand back down on her. “Was I here?” “Yup,” She says popping her ‘p’. “You can touch it now.” His touch is now wet and cold, making her shiver slightly and it glides easily. She removes her hands from her face but keeps her eyes shut to focus on not getting wetter than his finger. “Clitoris.” “Nope.” “No?” “Try to remember about the first time I yelled at you downstairs.” “Oh, alright.” He tilts his head down and laughs to himself. His finger is moving so delicately that it’s nearly tickling her heat. She shifts her ankles further just a little so she can see that flushy face of his, eyes now looking up as he tries to find a blank spot where his sight can help his imagination to picture what it looks like as he touches her. “Clitoral foreskin? Clitoral hood?” “Hood is better.” “Fine,” He grins. “It’s a mucocutaneous tissue that covers and protects the clitoris. It can fully cover the clit sometimes, but it also can just partly cover it.” “Thought you’d never get it right, not gonna lie.” She confesses and he moves his pretty greenish eyes to look at her, and she finally reciprocates. “Thought you trusted me!” It’s so good to interact as they typically do. It’s so good to feel more normal and less awkard. The two of them could now feel their bodies relaxing and free to get back to joking and playing. Nothing’s really planned for ages before acting, it’s just natural. This is what they were looking for. His cold calloused finger goes down shortly and she lets a sigh fly from her lips, instantly biting at her bottom one. She writhes sparsely, trying not to do what she’d normally do if they weren’t studying. “Clitoris? Is it here?” “M-hm.” “Erectile nub placed at the top of the vulva. It has around 8.000 nerve endings and blood supply. Would you mind if I see it?” She shakes her head in denial and grabs the cover up to reveal her lower half, making it rest on her stomach. Shawn takes his finger away for a moment to see the little nub and memorize where it is. He thinks he’d never seen something so beautiful in his life; he never thought it’d look this beautiful. Totally compelled, he licks his digit again and touches her clit, differently from before. Now, he’s softly drawing tiny circles around it and she accidentaly moans lowly. The tip of his finger is sliding so deliciously that she couldn’t even notice the time when she showed such weakness. “If you keep doing like this, you’re gonna turn me on and-” “How sensitive is it?” He cuts her off and, to be honest, he wasn’t even listening. All of his concentration got directed to her clit, now swelling under his control. “What?” “How sensitive is it? With so many nerve endings, it must be really delicate. Isn’t it?” She’s not quite understanding. Shouldn’t he know this already? Or was he one of those guys who never finds a clit during sex? “It’s sensitive enough to get me excited,” She warns but it’s not like he’s giving a single damn right now. “But if you press it hard, then it’ll hurt me bad. Like... you can add a little bit more of pressure...” And he immediately does, watching the way his finger works carefully but performing firmly now. She exhales strongly, trying so hard not to lose her shit. “A little bit more...” She demands and he obeys. Where is this going? She can’t answer herself now that this feels so good. His touch rounding her clit, sometimes going from side to side and he takes his time feeling all the extension of it. “Don’t go further than this, otherwise it’ll only harm me.” This amount of pressure was just perfect for her taste. Shawn doesn’t even know about this, but he keeps going and he even leans closer to see it better. Now there was no hell, it was just heaven. Heaven in the way her face contorts everytime he hits the center of her clit; heaven in the way her chest is moving up and down, trying not to lose the pattern of her respiration; heaven in the way her eyes squinted – but no completely – peeking at him with some struggle. He stops eyeing her heat, saving the last information he got from it and looks at her, eyes practically dark. “Let’s move on to-” “Can I put my mouth on it?” Her jaw falls. Such a question she didn’t know she needed to hear today. She knew she wanted to, but never knew she needed it so bad. “Are you asking to eat me out, Mendes?” For a minute there, she thinks she’s dreaming. Dreaming wildly. She promptly supports her body on her elbows and tosses her blanket away from her body. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry,” It’s like a force pushed him back to earth. He felt so intoxicated by her that his attention flew out to somewhere else. “I’m such a-” “Do it.” “What is it?” “Do it,” She insists. Can’t miss the chance, can’t have him going back now. Not now. “You want it?” He nods kind of desperately. “Then show me what you can do.” She tilts her head to the side and smirks at him. His mouth forms an ‘o’ shape. Jesus Christ, she can get him around her finger so easily that he feels lucky that he was the one to get her around his finger previously. But how is he supposed to do this? He decides to get started by kissing the inner part of her leg, planting wet kisses along her smooth skin and it feels so satisfying to have her skin exposing goosebumps under his touch. He’s getting closer and she sighs so sweetly that he’s hoping he’s doing the right thing. The scent of her is driving him crazy, he can’t wait to know the taste. “I-” He starts that old speech of explanation. He doesn’t want to but he feels like he needs to be honest with her and tell that he’s still a virgin. Lost and anxious to find himself. Find her. “I know. I’ll guide you, don’t you worry about that.” She’s just perfect. There’s no better definition inside his mind right now. He’s the opened book she loves to devour every single page of, absorbing the details and letting herself get immersed. She arranges her body on her bed to give him more space to lay down on his stomach and between her parted legs. When he finishes his trail of wet and hot kisses, she stands in one shoulder as her other arm goes to reach his brown curls that she loves so much. “You can kiss it first,” She directs him. “See what it feels like against your lips and oh,” She moans because he wasted no time on licking his lips and kissing her clit. “G-Get yourself used to it, take your time to adjust yourself, no need to hurry.” But she didn’t really mean that. She does need the hurry, ‘cause she might collapse from this torture at any second. Shawn tries the kissing, doing it from her clit and covering every inch of her lower lips then going back to the smaller ones. Over and over again, until he gets kinda bored. He wants to make her squirm like she said before in the kitchen. He wants to put his daydreams to a proof as quick as possible. “You’re so wet,” He notices and is unaware of the effect it had on her. Her glistening pussy is inviting him and he wants to live in this for the rest of his days. He knows he has no experience, but this time, he doesn’t wait. He sinks his head down on her and his tongue is flattening against her heat to lick a stripe from her entrance to her clit, covering her with his mouth in order not to miss a single inch. And fuck she tastes so fuckin’ good. Nothing compared to his imagination. “Oh my God,” Another moan slips out and she drops her head backwards, gotten my surprise. “That’s it...” He embraces her thighs and her ankles are now resting on his back. His head buries in her pussy and she returns to look at him. It’s the best view in the world. Cheeks flushed and eyes closed, looking so serene and enjoying the taste of her like he never did with anything else. Shawn pulls her hips closer to him, growing hungrier and obsessed with this moment. “Shawn!” She calls out and giggles, thinking that he’s also in the mood to play. Not now. “How hard can I suck you?” He pulls away, not going very far just to breathe and ask her. “Hard enough to show me how bad you want me, not hard like a crazy animal would probably do.” He groans against her heat and frowns in what he thinks it must be suffering. How can she get him so fragile to her? He feels his head spinning and she hasn’t even touched him back yet. “What are you doing to me?” Shawn whispers, thinking out loud. He drags his tongue up and down against her boldly, mixing the wetness of his tongue with her wetness and it’s slow, painfully slow. She tugs his hair when she feels that tingling sensation down on her entrance and it spurs him on to try his first suction. He does, giving her the best job he could do for the first time in his life. “Close your mouth a little and suck harder.” She recommends and he promptly does. His lips are wrapped around her bundle of nerves as he licks her before, tongue gliding in circles and he’s keeping his tongue relaxed, what makes her see stars with this pleasant sensation. It’s so smooth and so tender that she’s afraid she’s going to pass out from the pleasure. He tries sucking for the second time and earns the perfect reaction from her: toes curling, eyes rolling to the back of her head and she gasps, body giving up against the mattress. She feels her clit throbbing and the way he sucks it is pushing her over the edge. It’s wet, it’s warm and so precise. “Fuck Shawn, fuck!” Her lungs are supplicating for air and she makes a good effort to look down at him again – eyeing her through his eyelashes – and, although he’s still finding a way to please her, he knows he’s being good, so he gives her a devilish smile. “Keep doing like this, baby, don’t stop...” That’s it for him. He tries to suck her again. It’s long he’s deliberately repeating series of suctions, having her crying out in her bed and arching her back. He tests it harder and faster and her hands instantly fly to grab his curls. Her moans are gradually turning into frantic screams and she’s trembling. Shawn Mendes never imagined he could get his friend shaking hectically with his mouth on her heat, sucking and licking her with his whole body and soul. His member is so hard inside his sweatpants but he doesn’t care, as long as she’s enjoying it, then he didn’t need something more. And he thinks she looks impossibly prettier with her beautiful lips parted to free her whimpers, sometimes smirking down at him to tease him; hair getting messier than her body quivering and being stopped by his large hands, caressing the sides of her waist and traveling down to the sides of her bum and legs, holding them forcefully so she wouldn’t escape from his touch. “Shawn,” She gulps before moving on, throat dry from moaning uninterruptedly. “Pull away, I’m gonna come.” With her clit gently tugged between his plump red lips, he shakes his head from side to side in denial lazily and it’s a new sensation to her, so so so good that her vision gloes blurry. Shawn just revealed himself not only stubborn in his studies but also in bed, and she’s so eager to dominate him like this... He remembers about all the things they should be studying right now and maps her core to find her entrance with his index finger. Just as she taught him, he licks the digit and thrust it inside of her as soon as he finds it, bringing his mouth back to her clit to suck rapidly as his finger moves slowly. She fights back a loud scream, covering her mouth as she feels her pussy aching deliciously, searching for its release. “Can you take two?” Shawn feels her walls squeezing his finger and doubts that she can keep another one. “Yes, please.” She says through gritted teeth and it’s good to give this word the real meaning she wanted to give before. He pushes another finger into her and she moans once more, she doesn′t know how long she can wait. He thrusts the fingers so gingerly, not sure about what to do and what pace to pick. Was he hurting her? “You’re so tight...” He comments so innocently, he thought that it wouldn’t be this constricted. He starts to imagine how heavenly his cock would feel hugged by her dripping pussy. “Mendes,” She says under her breath. “I need you to go faster.” “Like this?” He picks up his rhythm shyly. “More.” His digits are covered in her juices and moving with ease. She feels that knot on her stomach tightening and about to explode. “More.” She begs and broken sobs are slipping past her lips. He goes deeper, fingers completely disappearing inside of her. “Right there! Oh, right there,” He finds her spot and her eyes roll to the back of her head once more, making Shawn dig the nails of his free hand into the skin of her thigh and suck at her bundle of nerves as fast as his fingers are working now. “Do it like this.” She can’t raise her hand right now to show due to her weakness but Shawn’s eyes are quick to find her fingers moving in a ‘come here’ motion and he immediately gives it to her. He can’t comprehend exactly where he’s taking her, but when she stops moaning and her legs starts shaking, he understands it. She’s feeling every inch of her core pulsating as her orgasm washes over her body and he can’t believe he just made her come. His fingers are slowing down and he pulls his mouth away, looking at her body coming down of her high. He removes his fingers slow and carefully and gives one last lick, catching what she released, and one last suck, her back arching for the last time. He waits for her to settle down and get back to her senses before doing anything else. And when she does, she glances at him and silently invites him to come closer. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” She taps his strong chest as he crawls over her, knees supported by the mattress under her parted thighs and upper half covering her front. He must be kidding. “Not really...” He vents, embarassed but glad that he provided her something nice. “But did... Did this just ruin what we have?” “I honestly couldn’t care less if it did,” She spits out and he fears her next words. “I couldn’t fucking wait to have you like this since the very first day we spoke.” “Would it be weird if I told you I feel the same way?” “Nope. But that’s something you can save for later,” She pulls him by the shirt and pecks his lips, savouring the taste of herself on his lips. “I wanna make you feel good first. What do you think about that?” “Glad you finally asked.”

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes masterlist #mine #ficsofmine #I NEED HOLY WATER AND I KNOW IT

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advernia · 4 years

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around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K Y O U V E R Y M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!!

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!! ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it?

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is.

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change.......

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason.....

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid..........

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!

#rundown.txt #can i spam thank yous???? seriously idk what else to say ahhhh #this! blog! shall! live!!! if i do well enough updating will become a habit!!!#i need better habits than sleeping + working + spring cleaning lololol #aHA i was thinking of changing themes again bc aesTHETIC #there wasn't one that caught my eye tho... plus coding during work... get rekt #but i fooled around with pages instead and colors!!! blue's the color of the year

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masahikass · 4 years

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okay so since i couldn’t resist, here’s some info about my random ie:go steven universe!au because i have no energy for online lessons :)

also i didn’t want to post about another au since @/primsbean is making so many posts about her ie:go madoka magica!au which i fUCKING LOVE OHMYGOD- but yeah, alternate universes are my favorite snacc. i have another one to talk about but first let’s say things about the SU one <3

under the cut because it’s LONG - and remember i’m not a native english so i might do some mistakes

okay so first of all, don’t blame me if there will be some events that don’t follow the plot (since i’m NOT remaking steven universe with ie charas!!!!! please keep this in mind) or events that Rebecca Sugar would have never inserted in her show. I respect everyone who worked at steven universe, and my intention is not to say their plot/story was bad, i’m just adding something that did never happen with any chara in the su series to make my au more original, that’s it. peace and love oN THE PLANET EARTH- okay that was the best su song hands down

also keep in mind gems don’t have “gemmic” names (if you know just a little of the su series, you should know all the gems are named after their gem, but i wont give that kind of names to the ie boys - or should i call them gems then? lol)

all the gems - for now - will be males too (as there werent any og male gems in steven universe besides steven, which is an hybrid though so...)

i will list each chara’s gem and ability after the general plot <3

so, the actual protags (though all the charas are!!! these are the two) are Tenma and Fey, who are around 5,000 years old - please if you don’t remember how the gems’ years worked go search it up, there are so many threads about that - and protect inazuma city (insert shooked face) from corrupted gems’ attacks. these attacks are not really frequent and they seem to deal with the situation, but one day they start increasing, being more frequent than usual and also the gems who attack are stronger and different from the previous ones. Fey starts making a theory about a possible new attempt of the homeworld gems (i still haven’t decided which charas will “represent” them, though, since this plot is a kind of season 1 we could say??) to start colonizing Earth via war, as they already did 3,500 years before the current events but failed, with the terrestrial gems rejecting them but also losing a lot of them - since some of them got shattered during the war and others escaped to travel to other planets to start colonizing them theirselves so they could live a new, pacific life. Tenma, at first, isn’t that sure about what Fey said, but as the corrupted gems’ attacks kept increasing he realized he could have been right. as they’re the only two gems who protect their city, they start thinking they should ask help to someone, trying to find more powerful gems.

Fey suggests to search for a trio (whose name is still not 100% sure... i randomly thought about Prism Trio just because I couldn’t remake Crystal Gems ahahah I still don’t know) which protect old war ruins in a forgotten area which is actually near Inazuma City though - but still, only some gems know about it, for example Fey did researches but Tenma knew nothing. This trio will be formed by your local ie:go chaotic trio aka Shindou, Kirino and Kariya (well, if i don’t get any more ideas for the name, then Gay Trio will be alright), who are respectively 7,600, 8,000 and 7,100 years old and actually fought in the first war. They find them fighting against a corrupted fusion, and try to join them to finish it easily and fastly. As they actually give the trio a good help, they still get scolded by them because they went in an area they shouldn’t have been to. However, the trio is still thankful to them for their help, and when Fey tells them about the situation in Inazuma City Shindou replies telling him his theory might be right as he had heard about the increasing attacks, also because the ruins were more attacked than usual in that period. Tenma kindly asks them if they could give their help back, coming with him and Fey and trying to reject the attacks together, even though he thought they’d never agree. Kirino is absolutely okay with that and shows positivity towards Tenma’s idea, while Kariya isn’t that sure since all of them should get used to a new routine, different from the one they were used to in the last millenniums. Shindou, who was neutral at the beginning, proved Kirino right since that would have been the best way to know more about the new attacks, and finally convinces Kariya to join them.

As they get in TenFey’s temple (which is the only thing IDENTICAL to the original SU one, except for the statue in the original version which is absent now), they start organizing their rooms (you know, in the temple there was that one door who led to each gem’s personal room, so the trio starts get used to them), they also keep fighting against new species of corrupted gems who keep attacking the city.

One day, then, all the five gems get to another ruins area, further from the ones the trio used to fight in, and at a moment Tenma remains alone and encounters... bepreparedtocringeihadnoideassorry... Sasuke. Yes, I did a Lion reference using Tenma’s dog instead. Original af, congrats. BY THE WAY,, he understands this gIaNt DoG (ohmygod the lion sounded better,, damn me and my dumb ideas) is related to gems somehow, and when he gets back - since Sasuke disappears after some seconds - tells the others about it, but everyone gets it as a joke and doesnt trust him. In the next fight, though, Sasuke approaches the gems and gives them help (still idk how, gotta rewatch all the lion episodes 382679345 times to get more ideas), so they all understand Tenma was right.

Some days after that, while Tenma is playing with Sasuke (gOOD BOY,,,,, I MEAN GEM,,,,,,,,,,), the dog drags him into a portal/warp (did i spell it good omg my english gets worse every day...) - just as lion sometimes does in the og series, lol - and since this warp keeps being open for some seconds, the other four gems enter it as Tenma might be in trouble alone. They all discover Sasuke led Tenma to an unknown area, which i wanted to be a desert bUT THAT LOOKS A LOT LIKE THE OG SERIES HOLY SHI- so okay, let’s make it a normal land, where there’s a fight going on. They notice a gem fighting a corrupted one all alone, and this gem seems really in need of help so they try everything to save him (oMg SpOiLeRs ThE gEm Is A mALe ToO!!11!!!111!) as they see he doesn’t have any weapon and only fights with the things he finds around himself, such as common rocks. That gem is no one else (???) than Hikaru *cries in i needed to add him hes so baby* who tells the five gems he had never seen such a powerful corrupted gem before and that he was used to reject the previous attacks in that zone more easily, and when Tenma asks him if he wants to come with him and the others to the temple Hikaru accepts without any doubt. As he gets to the temple, the others ask him if he has any weapon, but he tells them he never had the strenght to “develop” one. Perhaps, his ability (the only i’ll reveal here in the plot!!) is really useful, as he can generate light from his gem and make people and other gems blind for a limited amount of time - which, at the beginning, is really short but always increasing. He also wants to practice it as he wants to control the limit of time (for example, blinding people/gems just for a minute even if he could do for ten). When he shows his ability to the other gems, they all get blind... besides Kariya and here the ship sails *coughs* n-nothing, who is actually immune to the light’s effect. Being the only one who doesnt get blind, he starts helping Hikaru to develop his weapon.

I still haven’t thought about the rest of the plot, but there are still three characters I wanted to add. In order: Kyousuke, as an hybrid whose backstory will be way different from Steven’s in the og series (as he wasn’t born an hybrid, neither one of his parents was a gem), then Minaho and Manabe who are gems from another planet (not Homeworld, though) that are usually fused all the time... but, still, I have to think abt a plot ahah

If you’ve got this far, well... congrats? I know this is really long oh damn-

Btw, before I go, here’s the gems’ weapons and abilities as I promised! <3

Tenma: bow and arrow, he can control the wind

Fey: he basically makes grow poisonous creepers from everywhere (kind of inspired from Lapis in the og series as she generated water and could control it), controls nature in general

Shindou: sword, his voice can reach really high pitches so if he screams he can destroy things (and, maybe, he could start shattering gems too... who knows)

Kirino: lance, has a really high speed

Kariya: basically can make strong claws grow from his hands (idk how to describe it holy fuck,,, i cant draw either, if i could i’d have showed u), his ability is telekinesis

Hikaru: well, i don’t wanna spoil his weapon as i’m gonna make another post asap... i already said what his ability was, btw. also!! i didnt mention it before, but his age is around 3000 y/o

Kyousuke: katana, he can read any person’s mind for ten minutes if he had contact with them, same goes with gems but he must touch their gem in order to read their mind (age, in human years: 17)

Minaho: guns, he can understand if someone or something interacted with someone/something else just by smelling it (sounds cringe ik,, btw his age is the same as Manabe’s, 6,700)

Manabe: since i had no more ideas, don’t blame me if this sounds Peridot-ish, but he can actually generate small but powerful robots he can control and fight with, his ability is controlling technology in general.

Another last thing... these nine characters are the same of the other au i mentioned (which is way more calm than this,,, i also have more info abt that, too), so look forward to that too <3

I’mma go now, bye!

#this turned out longer than i expected #inazuma eleven go #inazuma eleven #steven universe au #su au #steven universe!au #su!au

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parfaitwaffles · 5 years

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Mid-Season Cures: Top Ranking

A few weeks ago, the newest mid season Cure, Cure Cosmo has debuted. And since Star Twinkle has been the 10th season to have a mid season Cure, I started to think about which mid season Cures are my most favorites.

Note: This ranking only includes Cures that appeared in the 20-ish episodes (aka joined the team around that time). Otherwise, it’d be hard (for me at least) to determine who exactly is the mid season Cure for certain seasons.

This ranking is based on personal opinion! You don’t have to agree with it, nor do you have to like it. It was made just for fun and not to serve the purpose to hate on certain characters!

#1 Cure Passion

It might sound a little funny, but yes, the very first official mid season Cure is also my most favorite one! Despite joining the fandom in 2013, Fresh Pretty Cure! was the first season I watched and totally fell in love with. There’s not a single thing I dislike about the season and I love ever character of the show.

But that is not the reason why Passion is my most favorite mid season Cure. Among all Cures that joined late, Passion/Eas just simply had the best redemption arc in my opinion! She was a badass character as Eas and suffered through her arc, trying to prove to Moebius that’s she is a loyal servant, even if it meant to risk her own life. And her struggle didn’t end after she became Cure Passion. She kept on doubting herself, she felt like she was all alone until she realized and accepted that Love and the others wanted her to be with her.

Additionally, Setsuna is simply badass, I can’t help but loving her.

#2 Cure Scarlet

To be honest, when Go! Pri first aired, I didn’t like it at all, it was among my least favorite seasons, and thus I didn’t think highly of Cure Scarlet. By today, however, I have totally fallen in love with the season and appreciate the plot, the setting, the characters, the everything. In my personal ranking, Go! Pri might not be my most favorite season but I still love it very much.

Originally, I thought Scarlet might be a rip off of Passion. But I learned and realized that despite them both being redemption Cures, they are quite different. Setsuna might have had the more impacting arc, but that didn’t mean that Towa’s was bad!! In fact, I teared up quite often during her arc as well and Twilight is a terribly awesome character! (I kinda even like Twilight more than Towa tbh).

#3 Cure Fortune

A lot people dislike HaCha, so I wonder how many of you would be surprised to see Fortune to be my 3rd most favorite mid season Cure. But yes, she is! Fortune has a lot badass-ness to give. Like... all other Cures were somehow chosen by Blue (he threw the crystals at them) while Iona took the PreChanMirror of her sister to avange her. She was probably one of the most determined Cures we have ever met. She literally went “God, who? I will rescue my sister no matter what!”. I agree that she was a little strict and stubborn towards Hime, but let’s be honest, she had all reason to!

Cure Fortune is just cute and amazing, I totally love her!

#4 Cure Sunshine

//coughs// I wanna talk with you Toei, about how you handled Itsuki. Because?? She (Cure Sunshine) debuted as a badass Cure who does shields but can kick ass because she’s awesome and all! But after a while, all she does is shielding her friends? She can kick ass, so let her kick ass, please!

Ehem... yes, I also really love Cure Sunshine. Tho before I watched Heartcatch Pretty Cure!, I thought Itsuki was boring... oh how wrong I was, right? Itsuki has probably one of the best transformations of all. It shows that you can be cute and badass at the same time. I’ve seen someone talking bad about her transformation, but tbh?? It’s amazing, give me more like that!

#5 Cure Beat

I have once started watching Suite Pretty Cure♪ but dropped it (because life got crazy). I will watch it completely one day though! And for favorite Cure... of Suite I love Cure Muse the most, but as I limited the mid season ranking to Cures that appeared in the 20ish episodes, I have to go with Beat. And I really do like Beat!! Like Passion, Beat was once a villain of the season, but even though they have a similar background, the story was completely different and I think Toei chose a good plot for Beat! I doubt that a redemption arc like Eas’ had fit with her tbh.

Now, I could never take Siren as serious as Eas but... I suppose we never should. I guess she was always supposed to be a funny character that the audience loves to see. And tbh that’s what I like about Siren/Ellen/Beat. How random and funny she was at times, but then could also be determined and protective again.

Also, guitars. Yes please. We need more Guitar Cures. We’ve only had 3 so far! (4 if you count Gelato, but she didn’t use one to attack)

#6 Cure Parfait

Tbh, I prefer Kirarin over Parfait and Ciel, but there we go; Cure Parfait is my favorite Cure from her season because she’s so different from everyone else. Her transformation is, imo, the most beautiful one and her attack... is really weird, but not as weird as creating a darn cake and then throw it at the enemy (seriously Toei, that attack is lame, what were you thinking xD). I can’t exactly say what I liked about Cure Parfait, I might like her the most because she and Pikario (best boy!!) had the best development and best arc of the whole season and thus her debut was so emotional, to me at least. Idk, but here we are. She can’t even make it to my top 5 favorite mid season Cures... xD

#7 Cure Amour & Cure MaCherie

I love Cure MaCherie and am neutral about Cure Amour, and as mid season Cures I’m pretty much “meh” about them because they simply took too much spotlight from the other three Cures. In the end,... usually a mid season Cure joins when the Cures can’t take a certain challenge anymore and need support. Then the candidate to become a Cure, becomes determinded and creates a miracle by becoming another Pretty Cure (that is the usual way. I prefer more creative ways, like Towa and Setsuna’s tbh). Emiru and Ruru’s debut was ... Hana was sick and Homare and Saaya were ignored. That’s why they had to transform... right?? In other words, it was lame.

At least the transformation and attacks were nice! They also felt like they are part of the team, which I missed in KiraKira, where Ciel always only spoke with Ichika and that’s it...

#8 Cure Felice

I still have to watch Mahou Tsukai, so my opinion of her could still change! But for now, I’m very neutral towards Cure Felice tbh, she is cute and I love her design but... that’s just it? Her transformation is beautiful, but just so looooooong... same with her attack, way too long and also a bit boring. I get she is the Cure of nature, but did you have to show the flowers blooming from step to step @ toei???

Also I never understood why we need a flower Cure in a season based on magic. I know she is Mother RaPaPa but... eh... yes.

#9 Cure Ace

One word: meh. Too bossy, and her entrance was too random. She never appeared before. It’s like Toei forgot about her until episode 23.

#10 Cure Cosmo

hmmm please note that this opinion of Cure Cosmo can still change as Star Twinkle Pretty Cure is still airing! However, as for now, I’m really no fan of her. I really like Yuni/Blue Cat though, as she is a badass character who likes to be a lone wolf! Cure Cosmo, however, just seems a little useless at the moment. Of course this is to blame on Toei but ,... well everything that happens is always to blame on Toei, so that’s even.

To me, her debut episodes, her transformation and even her attack were medicore and can’t be compared to other mid season Cures. Even Cure Ace had a flashier transformation (even though her fairy partner is annoying me). And even Ace’s attack was impacting, while Rainbow Splash is just good for visuals but except for that, it’s really lame. Up until now, the only (!!!) thing I can love Cosmo for is all the 80s aesthetic (but then again, Toei is trying WAYYYY to hard it that. It’s so much that it hurts, I’m sorry.)

I hope Toei steps up the game with Cosmo and maybe I’ll like her more by the end of the season. But now she’s just... kinda meh to me.

#precure #pretty cure #cure passion #cure sunshine #cure beat #cure fortune #cure scarlet #cure felice #cure amour #cure macherie #cure parfait #cure cosmo #cure ace

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my-rae · 5 years

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Love Scenario-CRS

We met and loved each other and it became an unforgettable memory.

Requested by @matesb: Hey, can I request a raesung fluff? Where we both are trainees 😊

I’m sorry this took me so long ugh. I hope you like it!

Words:2k+

Genre: fluff+ lowkey angst?? idk

Warning: English is not my first language, so pls be patient with me hehe. Besides, this story is completely made up, but at some point I tried to include a dash of reality??? Don’t be scared pls.

Since it’s my first au in this account, feedback is very apreciated pls

The first time you saw Raesung was in a monthly evaluation, in fact, in your first one. He was well known among trainees because of his amazing skills in each field (Dancing, rapping, singing), you had heard about him, and even saw him on television once, when he was little. Rumour had it that he was very cold and he barely talked to other people that weren’t his A team friends, and because of that, he made you feel intimidated when he came into the practice room.

Your eyes didn’t leave his silhouette for a second, filled with curiosity. He was standing with the “team A”, looking at the CEO and waiting for his name to be announced. He was one of the first ones.

He performed a song he had written, produced and arranged himself and was so into it that you then understood why he was so popular. But there was something that called even more your attention. All those little things he made, such as sometimes bopping his head to the song that other trainee was singing, or making a supportive gesture towards them during the performance that was, apparently, unnoticeable to the rest. How can you call a person like that be “cold”? It was obvious that he wasn’t payed enough attention, yet everyone talked about their first impression about him.

“You did good.” Some trainees complimented eachother, some others remained quiet. You decided to do the first option and congratulated your peers and talked to them afterwards, hoping you would get to know anyone soon.

You ended up high-fiving Raesung and, somehow, with his Snapchat account.

Back for then you didn’t consider it flirting, even though some people you met there thought it was.

But, going straight to the point, let’s just say that Snapchat made you become friends.

Raesung 👊👊

“Do I look intimidating enough?” He captioned in biggest part of the photos.

“Lmaoo you??? Intimidating??? Where??”

“Shut up I’m cool, I already have a cold facade”

“A fake cold facade*”

Your conversations were basically like that, just joking and making fun of each other, but outside Snapchat, you barely saw him. He was all the time nowhere to be seen, you wouldn’t find him even if you looked for him, overall because you trained in different floors.

Until it finally happened.

“Come to the second floor, I’m bored.” You were about to go to the dorms after a long day of training when that Raesung sent that Snapchat message. Still, you went anyways.

“Why are you still here?” You asked him.

He was inside a little studio, sitting in a chair, looking through his phone. When he heard your voice, he turned to look at you with smile on his face.

“I want to work a little longer.”

“Are you crazy, Rae? It’s getting late.” You looked at your watch. 23:00 pm. “What do you even want to do so late?”

“I’ve been working on my monthly evaluation, I want to perform something different.” He explained. “Do you want to listen to it?”

You are still not sure why Raesung wanted you to listen to it, out of all people that could give him a better review. Still, you agreed.

He was beyond excited, you could tell by how his eyes sparkled. The track he played was slow compared to the song he performed the first time you saw him, still it had a catchy vibe that made you love the song instantly.

“Do you like it?” He asked when it finished.

“Are you kidding? I love it!” You exclaimed excitedly. The corners of his lips raised to form one of the cutest smiles you had ever seen.

And your heart skipped a beat immediately.

“Let me show you this other one! I don’t know which I should develop to the monthly evaluation, I want to show our CEO something different.”

You kept it going, day after day. Once you had finished training you always stayed together for a little longer, even if you were tired. At first it was only to help him for the monthly evaluations, but at some point it became just two friends, talking about anything, complaining about the company and the trainee life, sharing some good and bad experiences there.

Your friends began to think you were dating him and they wouldn’t stop teasing you about it. Deep down inside, you didn’t mind.

“Remember the first track I played?” You pretender to think even though you remembered it perfectly, he named it “desired situation” and it was your favourite one.

He wasn’t good at naming his songs.

“I do, why?"

"I’ve decided that I won’t use that one.”

“Why?” He was so excited about that one, it didn’t make sense.

“I have a few ideas in mind, and I don’t know why I think that track is more personal.” He looked straight into your eyes and you froze.

You knew you had fallen for him, but taking into consideration your situation it was better to hide it as much as possible.

But those little moments with him made you think that it couldn’t be just one sided. Eventually, you discovered you were right.

“I’m so sick of this company Rae, how am I going to be able to stand this until I debut?”

He held your hand and caressed your hair without realising, just spontaneously.

“Hang in there, okay? We will debut, I know it.” Was his answer.

“I know you’re going to debut, I have no doubt, our CEO loves you, but I don’t really know if I’ll end up doing it or not. He doesn’t care about me, he won’t mind if I leave.“ He froze and gave your hand a squeeze, looking at you with his eyes filled with concern.

“Are you going to leave?”

“I don’t know Rae, I don’t want to keep wasting my life.“

“If you ever do, please warn me beforehand, I don’t think I could stand it if you leave without warning.”

Raesung was like that, spontaneous, you were sure that his words didn’t mean the same for him that what they did to you, but they made your heart beat like crazy every time.

From there, it only got worse, all your efforts were useless, it wasn’t enough, you weren’t enough for YG Entertainment, so you took your decision after talking to your trainee friends for a long time.

“Rae, I’m leaving, I can’t take it.“ You said that day inside those four walls that had seen you grow up with your friend.

He kept quiet. He had a good ability to come up with lyrics and melodies easily, but not to talk about this with someone that meant the world to him, so he gave you an awkward hug and let you cry on his shoulder.

It was unusual in Raesung to let you do that, yet you didn’t question it.

“Before I leave, there’s something else I want to say.” You stated when you stopped crying. “This had been a hard decision to take because I don’t know if I’ll ever see you when I leave. I like you, Rae, I hope you can forgive me.”

He shook his head and pouted.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” He was about to hold your hand, but suddenly he pulled it back. Through his hair you could see his ears getting red.

“In the hypothetical case that you loved me back.” You began cautiously to confirm your recent suspicions. “Would you say it back?”

“You know how I am y/n, this is hard.“

“So, do you love me back?”

“Could be.”

“Hypothetically.”

“And in real life.” He finally admited.

You smiled. If it was going to be your last month there, you had to make it worthy.

It went by fast, you and Resungwere exactly the same, but you didn’t look at each other like you did before. It was like an open secret just between you two, which made everything way much better.

Until it came to an end.

Your contract expired, as well as your journey in YG Entertainment, with all the friend you had made and, of course, Raesung.

You talked to them a lot, but as you auditioned to another company and your timetable couldn’t fit any of your friend’s, you began to lose contact. Overall with Choi Raesung.

You met, and loved each other even if it was to yourselves, and it became an incredible memory.

The last thing you knew about him was that he was friends with Ikon members and that he became a producer and left the trainee life, as well as snapchat. You only got updates through his fans, that were only a few, so you would have said that he was missing in action if it weren’t because of his appearance in Stray Kid’s reality, but he was in your life. Almost as if you had erased each other.

Until one day you heard it. It was a bit modified and had been added good lyrics, but you were sure that it was that track.

“Desired situation” was being played by some other trainees that had taken a few minutes to rest and watch Ikon’s comeback.

“Sorry, Minhye, are you listening to desired situation by ikon?” You asked your friend.

“Desired situation?” He laughed. “Nice try Y/n, it’s called love scenario. And yes! It’s awesome right? Ikon always have good songs.”

Love scenario… That’s how it was called now. You decided to google the credits and yes, effectively, his name was right next to Kim Hanbin’s and some others.

To find Raesung after that was hard. You had lost his number, then you tried through twitter, but he never answered his DMs, then Instagram, but he didn’t have an account, his fancafe was abandoned too. Hanbin was right that time he said that he was living his best life watching anime. In the end, and by chance, you found him, even sooner than Noa’s reply to the message you had sent the boy that morning asking for Raesung’s number.

It happened at some random café, his hair was a little longer, but it still looked great. His styling was the same, but apparently he had enough money to buy some expensive clothes. That thought made you smile.

“Hello, Choers.” You greeted friendly.

He looked shocked and a little confused to see you there.

“D-did you just tried to call me by my twitter username?”

“I’m surprised you remember your username taking into consideration that you haven’t used it since 2012.”

“You forgot to add the number one to choers, nice try Y/n.” He joked.

The conversation went by a bit awkwardly, but none of you wanted to stop talking.

“So… Love scenario.” His ears turned red, just like they did every time he was embarrassed. “You did a great job, you know it, right?”

“It was Hanbin hyung who did the biggest part of the job. He and Bobby hyung came up with great lyrics and showed them to me. Then I suggested to use that track.”

“It sounds awesome Rae, it was my favourite out of all those you came up with.”

“I know, that’s why I suggested it. I trusted your opinion.” He seemed proud, and that made you smile even wider. “What about you? How’s your life going?”

“I’m a trainee that is going to become a rookie idol soon!” You announced happily. “I’m going to debut in five months.”

“That’s great! I’m glad that you finally made your dreams come true after what happened at YG.”

“I’m glad too. And what about you? What made you become a producer?”

“It was my only choice.” You didn’t know what he meant, but you let it be.

“Anyways, Rae, I should get going now. I’m very tired.” You said. “We should meet soon.”

“Yeah, we should.” He knew he had to tell you, but how would you react? He was afraid, it had happened ages ago after all. Then, he remembered all the times Hanbin made him try to contact you, and how excited he was to know about Raesung’s story with you. So he said it. “By the way Y/n, you know the song, love scenario…”

You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“When Hanbin hyung showed me the lyrics, the reason why I chose desired situation was because it reminded me of you. Love scenario, in the end, is dedicated to you. At least half of it.”

You felt your cheeks burning. You definitely weren’t expecting that.

“I’ve missed you, Rae.” You finally said.

“God I’ve missed you too, a lot.” He answered, becoming relieved.

You didn’t know if it was appropriate to hug him, but you did anyways.

“We have a lot of things to talk to. Hanbinhyung won’t stop telling me I should have asked you out.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to say I agree with him but… I mean.”

“I know, I know. By the moment, let’s meet up here tomorrow, okay? You know, to catch up.” He suggested, looking confident for the first time ever.

“That sounds good Rae. It really does.”

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