#putting it here and not on sideblog because it's more like personal rambling
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I feel like I completely don't remember my reaction to my very first reading of the Silm which is sad... I know I was 11 and I read it all in a day or two, with no apparent difficulty, or even need to refer to the family trees at the back. But the only thing I actually remember, is opening the book at random in the library and reading the scene between Sauron and Gorlim, right up to "'but I shall bring you to Eilinel'; and they slew Gorlim cruelly"... (I guess it was a lucky moment to stumble on, because I already knew one of the characters...)
I remember, back when we were discussing the Hobbit in class the year before, one of the girls mentioned the beginning of the Silm and Christian influence on the legendarium (to this day I don't remember who that was and don't know whether she had actually already read it or been told by an older sibling/cousin or what). And I remember putting Tolkien away for a year after a weird dream that I decided meant I shouldn't read it; and then the holidays at the beach with my cousins a year or two later, when I elected to reread LoTR after all, and had the cousin nearest in age, a boy who had just gotten into Tolkien that year, summarise the Silm (which I had forgotten a lot of) over the course of a restaurant meal. I still wonder what the thoughts of everyone sitting around us must have been.
I remember long talks about the Legendarium between us, late in the evening when we should have been in bed (oh, for so many reasons, that was the best week in my entire life, but those conversations were one of them). I remember saying that I didn't like the sound of the names Tolkien gave the Valar (my cousin disagreed and today-me is inclined to do so too). I remember, it took me until Galadriel's song in Lothlorien on my LoTR reread to get that Elbereth means the same person as Varda, and my utter surprise when I realised (but my cousin was also surprised when I showed him). And I remember the way I made the Tale of Beren and Luthien my aesthetic and the love of my life (hah) so utterly in the following months as only a thirteen year old can... I remember holding the library copy of the Silm for half a dozen months before my mother bought me my own, in English.
But I do not remember my first reactions when reading my now-favourite book.
#putting it here and not on sideblog because it's more like personal rambling#...#I have to tell you more about that one holiday because it literally was the best moment in my life so far#I should tell you more about my cousins too#therese rambles#original post#the professor's mythopoeia#Silmarillion
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How do you manage to stay in a fandom for so long? I'm always mario jumping from fandom to fandom every 3-6 months
Oh, so many reasons. I think I've answered this before but in a much more concise way so idk what happened here when I tried to answer again from scratch but uhhh I wrote a lot lol?? Long ramble time. 😂
I found this fandom at a point in my life when I really emotionally needed it, so I got really attached to it. I stayed because of the friends I've made in it and because of the OCs I got invested in, both mine and other people's, and every so often something invigorated my interest like a new roleplay I got to join or new concept art that got discovered.
I'm also just a really dedicated person (for better or worse) and I still have ideas that I want to get out there creatively. I don't get a lot of free time, and I rarely have energy for hobbies after work so my time passes slowly in the sense that I may still be in the middle of appreciating a thing, meanwhile everyone else has already sped through and processed it and moved on.
So I've gotta be really careful about choosing what to spend my limited time and energy on. It sometimes takes me a whole month to draw a piece of art that I'm proud of. It would be a huge waste of my time to spend so much energy on a fandom that after 3 months I think I might not care about anymore.
And like, if it's going to take me a month to draw 1 thing, what am I going to choose? Fanart of a character from a show that I just finished that I might possibly move on from in 3 months? Or art of my darling Audrey OC that I've been developing for years and whom I know will always bring me joy for the rest of my life? It's not a hard choice! Like I'm sure it's obvious by now but I really love my oc. It's gotten to the point that I look for her in every media I consume. I like characters because they remind me of her, and I like plots because they remind me of her. When I watch a movie and end up loving it, I'm not going to be drawing fanart for that movie, I'm more likely going to be drawing Audrey Grace in some way that's consciously or subconsciously inspired by that movie. I'm sure other people with beloved ocs can relate to that, too.
Back to media consumption: I'm constantly watching new things, shows, movies, letsplays, and I'm able to love them just fine, but I never participate in their fandoms (unless you count reblogging fanart as participation. I personally don't). I just don't feel motivated to and I feel like it's unnecessary. I shouldn't need to prove anything. You can appreciate media without engaging in fandom. In fact, I encourage it, because a lot of what I see in fandoms these days is just stressful, at least to me. And I don't want that stress. I'm much happier as a person when I don't have to read other people's opinions, discourse and drama over some show's themes or ships or whatever. I can just quietly revel in my own enjoyment of the show without being tainted by anything else, and my love for it is not any less valid than the person who's livetweeting their loud emotions while watching the same show and putting out fanart 1 hour after every episode. Bless them, though.
And I guess that's mostly what I do these days with the Onceler fandom, too. Appreciating it more quietly these days, I mean. It's just that...I have a fandom related oc so I draw her. And I have friends here so we do stuff together and we reference fandom inside jokes no matter what activity we're doing. If I encounter art that deeply moves me personally, I reblog it, just like I reblog art for other media on my sideblog. When anyone has a fandom history related question, I'm eager to answer because I don't want the past to be misrepresented or misunderstood. And also, since it's been over a decade, this fandom has long ago become my daily normal. I can do whatever I like but I can't really "leave" this fandom unless I delete all my social media and cut off all my online friends. And delete my memories of the past 12 years of my life as well. Just become a completely different person.
So I guess I can reverse the sentiment: I can't relate to people who hop fandoms every 3 to 6 months. 😭 All the power to you, but that's just not the way I happen to live my life, nor the way I engage with the media I consume! The Once-ler fandom was the one exception. It was special.
But who knows, anything can happen in the future. I'm not so proud that I'm purposely blocking myself from looking at other fandoms or anything. I just go with the flow! Right now I'm slowly making my way through jjba, an omori playthrough, a Plague Tale playthrough, and urusei yatsura season 2 (the new anime). Probably nothing will come out of any it except for a bunch of Audrey inspos, but again, who knows. XD I'm also going to an idkhow concert soon, and I've bought merch from their store already. Does that count as participating in a fandom? Maybe not. But now that I think of it, even if I "join" another fandom, it doesn't necessarily mean I'd leave the onceler fandom either, so maybe it wouldn't matter haha.
Thank you for the ask and thank you to anyone who's read my entire answer!
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catching up about fandom stuff
Oh, hi! Do you mind if I ramble a bit?
I feel like I've been a little distant and antisocial in the past few months due to personal stuff (mainly because my trauma bucket got kicked over many, many times, but also I've been trying to get the ball rolling on a few things I've been meaning to do for a while). And I know I'm not the only one who has been having a hard time. But now it's spring here, and I'm feeling a little hopeful and a bit more inspired. Is it just me? Do we dare to be hopeful??
I'm reminding myself that both of my favorite urban fantasy series, and main fandoms nowadays are due a new book maybe this year, and that is exciting and very much things to look forward to! It also makes me want to quickly write fic ideas I have before the canon status quo changes lol (Not that it matters. I believe you can write whatever you want. But with both of these series, we love to theorize about what is going to happen, so it feels like things are just not going to be the same when we get new pieces of information, you know?)
I'm also acutely aware that I haven't posted a Harry/Nic fanfic since the OTP challenge in NOVEMBER 2022 wtf. And uh, yeah. If you needed any further proof of my poor mental health then it is probably proof enough that I haven't touched my favorite obscure little OTP.
The good news is, that I have actually been inspired to write lately. I'm doing a little re-read of the FPA books, and also Skin Game, and it's all putting me back in the mood for fanfic. And I have been typing away for the past few weeks, trying to get back into it.
The bad news is, that I don't feel like posting things yet. I just want to be kind to myself and create without having to worry about sharing it. I know this might sound hypocritical bc I just shared a post about connecting in fandom. At the same time, sometimes it does good for a story to just let it sit and simmer a bit.
There is this expression (that I don't think is actually very popular in the English language) "to write for the drawer" and I never thought that was a bad thing. Sure I write very niche stuff so you would think it doesn't matter either way, but a story is never the same after you release it out into the world. So it's okay to keep it to yourself for a while and tinker with it and enjoy the process.
I also discovered gif making for myself. (If you have seen the gifset I posted yesterday, no you didn't :P I put it on private bc I wasn't happy with it yet. Mainly bc of the subtitle thing. I either have to figure out a clever overlay or venture out into the foreign planes of the internet to forage a little bit more lmao) I think the popularity of gifsets on tumblr is so fascinating, bc it's a format that just isn't very popular elsewhere (or convenient lol). When I was younger in fandom I never had a good enough computer to do this kind of editing. So now it just made me so happy to realize that my computer can do it, and I found it a relaxing activity.
I already dipped my toe in it with that Hellraiser/DF quote gifset, but now I figured out a method to make it look a lot better. And with open source tools too! That made me especially happy lol But I also realized that if I want to post gifsets then I might have to break my "no sideblogs" rule... Anyway, this is just one more thing that I will probably experiment with privately, and then we'll see if I put it out there or not.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is: creative hobbies are important. And if you can bring yourself to do them even when you feel like shit, it usually helps to feel a little less shitty. And that I will incubate my little projects for a while longer and then maybe I will feel like sharing them.
#personal#that's what's been going on in my head#how are we all doing?#fandom#nara rambles#also tumblr has been really bad lately and didn't show me posts from a lot of mutuals#so that didn't help
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hello sir, i honestly found ur blog thru a really nice horny post (gotta draft insane tags because waow) and rushed to your blog to follow and maybe even put more of your posts on my sideblog
but your latest post, the longer one about how u feel not really cares for in your own space really stopped me in my tracks
like i know you said in your intro and even in ur post that you're still welcoming subs to leave messages in your asks and even dms, but idk, just having my first interaction with your blog be a full on kittyboy sub hornydump felt really shitty
I'm really sorry u experienced uncomfortable or weird or creepy subs on here, leaving shit you don't want to engage and not caring about doms and tops, nor aftercare for them, i wish u only had interactions from subs n bottoms properly respecting others, although it's not really something on me or u or anyone other than them ehhh
sorry about getting rambly, I'm just sorry u have to deal with that, i wish i could do something to make u feel better or just less shitty, u seem really cool, outside of the kink space too (from ur intro)
i know this ask is way too long and mostly not really in the proper tone for an anon ask on a kink horny blog on tumblr, i don't expect you to answer it or even read it fully tbh i guess i just wanted to let u know that even tho i just found your blog properly, and not thru random reblogs from other, even tho we never interacted, i appreciate you as a top and person outside of kink horny stuff too? and i think u deserve better than creepy guys not even caring about aftercare or basic respect
can't really send asks from my kink sideblog, so ig I'll just sign it woth good old anon emoji hihi
Holy 🪽 (he/him)
Thank you for that! I really appreciate it :]
Honestly that post wasn’t from a place of “you guys suck and should be ashamed” but truly from a place of hope that kink spaces and kink blogs can be comfortable for everyone! I’ve curated this space in a particular way, and I’m very lucky that I have the option to not respond to certain asks or delete dms or not interact with blogs that say off putting things.
It’s hard to exist in a kink space as a dom or a sub because sadly, as with anything in life, there will be people who don’t act with comportment and are unable or unwilling to follow the etiquette laid out.
I cherish and enjoy a solid 98% of interactions that I have with people on this blog! But I think it’s also important to be transparent about my experiences. I know that there are other doms and tops out there just like me who are harassed or who are put in positions that are uncomfortable. It is my hope that speaking about what it’s like to be on the other end of that will allow us all the understanding that while we operate in different roles- we still have the same flesh and blood and sinew coursing through us. The same feelings that can get hurt. The same hope that we are respected and enjoyed not for what we’re offering or for our bodies or roles but simply because people enjoy the content we make and may also enjoy who we are.
I’m not going into this with the unrealistic expectation that everyone that reblogs my post wants to know more about me as a person. Hell, I reblog a bunch of posts from blogs that I never see again!
I enjoy being a kink blog, I enjoy the content I make, I enjoy the people I talk to, I enjoy the asks, the dms, (I enjoy the attention a hell of a lot lmao!) And I also enjoy the rules and limits that I have placed. I enjoy my personal space. I enjoy feeling safe. These things can coexist and should coexist.
And y’know what. I’m not angry at the people who are weird. Maybe it was a horny brain-addled misjudgment!
But kink spaces should be safe for everyone, and the more I talk about proper etiquette with doms and tops- the more bottoms and subs that follow me are able to understand our perspective and see us as human beings :]
Thank you for your ask, I appreciate it! And I appreciate you!
#t4t nsft#ftm dom#mlm nsft#t4t#ftm nsft#t4t mlm#trans nsft#t4t dom#oyster answers#nsft puppy#oyster says something serious
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re. about
ren (or rimz for cool kids). he/him. twenty five. black. queer. neurodivergent.
i'm redoing this because i'm losing steam (thanks work) and i'm pulling back on a lot of projects to mostly focus on things that make me personally happy. as is the nature of my brain, i will still jump back and forth between projects when i lose the flow for another, but i’ve narrowed my important wips down to just three main ones. other projects are currently being shelved, or put to the side as half baked ideas that i still need to keep in the oven before i introduce them to anyone formally.
(so if you don’t see a wip listed in the wips tab, it’s either shelved indefinitely or i want to work on it on my own for a bit. you can ask me about my other wips if you know/remember them but i can’t guarantee i’ll answer about them at this time. this also doesn’t mean i won’t ramble about them when i feel like it.)
important sideblogs = no pressure to follow just fyi
@babylonsfalling -> all my fandom and other nonsense goes here
@todazzlingreading -> this is a personal checklist for things i want to read by y’all that i don’t have time or spoons to get to at the moment i see it. once i read a post there i’ll delete it from that blog and rb it over here with any comments in the tags :3
to find my art commissions, please look here: https://www.tumblr.com/vacantgodling/715216537870532608/commissions-are-open
re. disclaimers / interaction
i mainly write fantasy; it’s a broad overarching label that covers all of my interests and it’s my first love in writing. horror and horror adjacent elements always make an appearance in my works. i emphasize complex mlm relationships and male leads, and romance is a great love of mine as you’ll notice from the king of my current wips. worldbuilding is also a great love of mine. i also love writing smut and talking about my characters having sex.
as such some disclaimers: following me is a very much curate your own experience. i don’t want to hold back talking about adult and mature themes so if you’re uncomfortable with anything i talk about i’d just suggest you unfollow lol nothing personal.
i’m open to asks and talking about anything but there’s no pressure. anons are always cool. i’m probably not gonna do writing based tag games too too much bc writing has been nonexistent lately but character asks or ramble ones i will do :)
also, as a personal ask: please do not refer to any of my characters as babygirl or girlie(s). shit makes me squick thanks.
re. main wips
linked are the main tags & once i finish the wip intros for paramour and tcol (revamping them) i’ll link them as well. feel free to ask to be on the taglist for any of these (i’m going to do better with these) — taglists will be activated for all writing and official posts. this won’t include ask games or random babbling.
PARAMOUR || “saved” from an imminent social death through arranged marriage, HYACINTHUS SHRAPNEL is whisked away to The Chateau aux Aisles D’or, where an unlikely sexual relationship with his butler AMON leads to far more than he bargained for.
THE CHRONICLES OF LATHSBURY (check out the crash course HERE) || The Aegean Guild of Explorers, led by the mysterious newcomer to Lathsbury Madja Fandel welcomes its newest contingent after the guild bid: PIPER FAIRWIND a MBW with a fighting spirit and desire for money and glory, DEUX UNDERSHIELD a naive protector seeking answers for her brother’s spurn, SANDRA “SAN” DEARBORN a vicious hunter with a chip on their shoulder, CLEAR BRIGHTENDALE a medic with a host of dark secrets, and FORTE SYMPHONIA a ranger seeking his own destiny, are as ready as they’ll ever be to enter the fray, to conquer the mysterious and dangerous LABYRINTH. Forces that have been in motion since before their lives even began are finally reaching their peak, and the five of them will have to use everything they’ve learned and then some to stay alive.
re. navigation
talking -> musings and personal thoughts
about renjamin -> insight to me / who i am
ren analysis -> when i get meta about my wips
ren mix -> a treasure trove of my music taste
ren polls -> any polls i make
ren reads -> for my ramblings and analysis as i try to get back into books
friends tag -> talking with friends or boosting my friends work
others work -> boosting other writeblrs work
hall of fame -> praise / things that make me happy that i want to keep
ren writing -> all of my writing in one place
ren poems -> all of my poems in one place
ren fic -> all of my fandom related writing in one place
ren art -> all my art
q eh you eh -> queue
sex mention -> tag for any sexual content.
worldbuilding -> all of my worldbuilding notes across all my wips
find the word tag -> for this game specifically so i can find it
last line tag -> for this game specifically so i can find it
ren hot cakes -> specifically for my overly opinionated opinions
writing recap -> tracking my writing journey so i can hold myself accountable
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If I may wax nostalgic for a moment:
So, yeah, this account got deleted by hackers, which sucks, but I can always rebuild it, bit by bit.
This is way more of a huge personal essay than I'd normally do, especially on this sideblog, but it's about this blog specifically, so I think it's really only appropriate that it goes here.
(Rambling got long-ish, so putting in a cut to keep your dashboards clear of clutter - Because it turns out I have some feelings about this blog)
(TL;DR: Thank you all for your kind words and support over the years. This blog meant something to me, it still means something to me, and I'm going to keep working at it - Rebuilding it one piece at a time. I look forward to continue engaging and re-engaging with you all again as I do so)
I had my main tumblr account for something like 5 years by the time I started this sideblog. And I never really had any sort of focus on my main, I was just your general nerdy blogger.
But at some point - 2016-2017, judging by my photos timeline, I started getting really into collecting sets of dice. In as much as I was accumulating them at a much, much faster rate than I'd ever done so before.
My first set was bought when I was still in high school, probably no later than 2003-2004. I know I had at least 5 total sets by the time I finished my first undergrad degree in 2009 and moved across the country for a job. I'm pretty sure I got the 6th set on a trip back home to visit friends during that year I was working. The 7th, I honestly can't remember. Maybe 2011 at a con? That seems like something I'd do.
My 8th set was definitely purchased in the lead-up to my sister's wedding in 2014 - I specifically bought it to match their purple and blue colour scheme because we used the d20 to stop people from clinking glasses to get them to kiss (if people wanted to get them to kiss, they'd have to roll 10+, otherwise, they'd have to find someone to kiss, themselves).
I wasn't taking photos of sets as I got them yet, so this has been a bit of guesswork and memory.
I can confirm that by the end of 2016, I had bought my 15th and 16th sets. I started showing off my shinies, probably here and on twitter. I think even some basic photos made it to facebook/instagram before I realized not many friends and family cared too much about them over there.
2017, I can see set #23 appears in a photo, among others previously.
By September 2018, Sets #44, #45, and #46 were bought at a convention - These are the three sets you can see in the mouth of the yarncraft mimic in my profile picture (also bought at that convention). So, yeah, definitely a steep acceleration in my dice-buying (this was about the time I started buying dice online rather than just in physical stores, I do believe). Overall, a huge shift in my approach and drive towards collecting dice around this point.
It's around here I really start taking photos of my dice, playing around with my flashlights and such for different lighting effects - Basically the first forms of the kind of photos that would become my "brand", such as it is. I think it's here too that I started aspiring to make a character to pair to each individual set (While I do have many, many characters, I can tell you that some of these first sets still don't have characters for them yet. So, y'know, I'm nothing if not consistent in my inability to focus).
The first bunch of these sort of photos were posted to my main, but eventually I decided to start doing the dice posting on a sideblog, so as not to completely flood my main with not only my dice, but all the dice I was reblogging, as through my posts, I had found that there was indeed a community here of dice fans - Often posting their own creative photos.
Now, I've never been exactly quiet about what was going on in my life at that time - The summer of 2018, I had to take a medical leave of absence from my PhD program in university, because my migraines had been worsening from episodic to chronic over the past year or so. I had thought that maybe it was burnout, and I'm sure that's not an insignificant part of it, along with the then-undiagnosed adhd, I was just unable to function in general.
So, I took that summer off, then was genuinely feeling better and came back and tried to pick up again - But as the stress of getting back into things picked up again, it was clear that I was not in fact better. And the meds I was on at the time put me in a near-permanent brain fog, so I just was not able to function on an intellectual level like I had been. I could muddle my way through reading ecology papers that presented broad, easily-followed narratives, but highly technical microbiology and genetics papers, which were a slog at the best of times, became literally impossible to meaningfully read and acquire the sort of information I needed from them.
So, January 2019, I made the painful decision to withdraw from my PhD program. And I was utterly crushed by this point - Y'know, with whatever energy I had left to feel emotions. There is nothing quite so gutting as believing you're better and can handle things, and then finding out that you absolutely cannot, and feeling like you're letting everyone down because you can't keep up with even the bare minimum of responsibilities. I truly do not want this sort of thing to happen again, hence why I really do want to get my migraines under control before I consider going back to school or work - And it's been basically 5 years now. My education and experience have absolutely atrophied, possibly to the point that I'd essentially be starting pretty fresh and need to be brought back up to speed on so much that I'm not sure its something I want to ever tackle.
Anyway, that was where I was when I decided to make this sideblog. It was always, first and foremost, a place where I could post my nerdy photos, ramble about my characters, and just generally go whole-hog in on my nerdy TTRPG-related hobbies. And if other people found what I was posting enjoyable, well, it was all the better.
February 2019, before I moved back home, is the first folder that I can distinctly say I did a series of hoard photos. I wasn't using the term hoardscape yet. And they weren't styled exactly like that, but the genesis of the idea is there - I'm calling these pre-hoardscapes as I do my daily image re-upload. May 2019 was the first time I consciously set out to take photos of the hoard all mixed together. There's some weirdness as I included minis and other nerdy things in this first batch, but the overall style was now something I was fully enjoying - Photoing the dice from angles that made them look like rolling hills or other styles of heaps/piles emerging from one main pile - ie: Trying to make it look like I was taking a photo of a landscape made of my entire dice hoard. I have these labelled as "Hoard Shots" in this folder, but my numbering of them starts there. The next batch, June 2019 was where I started labelling them with the term "Hoardscape". I'm glad that people liked this term and it got used beyond just myself.
In total, I took over 1200 hoardscape photos between 2019 and 2021, not including the photo sessions where I did specific arrangements of specific die-types, since I had to sort them all before putting them away again anyway. So over three years of material for daily content, in addition to the shots I did of individual sets and other flights of fancy I'd have.
It'd be hyperbolic to claim that these "saved my life" or some other cliche like that. But they probably saved my sanity at least a little bit. They've given me something to do that was novel and creative. Something engaging, something to aspire to do, something to look forward to that wasn't the same "wake-up, watch tv, surf the net, play video games" routine I found myself otherwise in. Something to have some tangible ambition towards, however ultimately frivolous it is. Something with a schedule and structure that I felt compelled to adhere to.
This sort of stuff was great for me too, in that I could work on creative projects according to my own, quite nocturnal, inconsistent schedule (You'll notice that pretty much all of my photos of individual sets are also done at night, which was eventually also partially so that the lighting could be consistent). I could work for a few hours at a time, according to however much energy/focus I had. And if I had a bad day, I wasn't obligated to do any specific amount of work at it each day or anything. It was work, in the sense of something productive to do. And honestly, I thoroughly believe you need something that at least feels productive to work at (at your own pace), so that you don't go completely batty with boredom. And that the photos resonated with people out there was absolutely fantastic too. I was honestly a little surprised and always utterly delighted when people would mention my style of dice photos as inspirations for their own creative works - Their own photos or otherwise.
Heck, at one point I had great ambitions to maybe start turning hoardscape-type shots into jigsaw puzzles. Well, that kind of fizzled - We did do one small session using my brother's actual, serious camera instead of my camera phone, and got a jigsaw puzzle made from that high-res shot, but in terms of actually making puzzles from my photos consistently? Well, not so much. Unless, like, some company picked up and licensed my/our photos or something for printing themselves, there was no way we could feasibly afford getting enough made up to sell at any sort of reasonable price. And as fun as it was, to make this, puzzles, I really didn't think it'd be practical to order 1000 of any single design, let alone more than one design to have some variety, and then try to find some market to sell them in.
But hey, this is a fun little treasure of my own to have, even if it was, like $60
Admittedly, as much as I loved doing these shots, there were things that made them increasingly difficult to keep doing new ones of - The way it took over the family room area with my hoard meant that I really only wanted to do them when the rest of my family was gone for long stretches of time - Over a week or so, to give me enough time to get a decent amount of new material and then go through the process of re-sorting and repacking my dice after getting those photos, but also getting any sort of bonus shots - Like once I got the actual stage, taking photos with it, instead of just on the mug warmer (The mug warmer was a decent stage for someone operating with no real budget and still focused on getting more dice, okay? :P). But then the hoard continued to grow and swell (because I'm a sucker for buying more and more dice, after all), which meant that the cleanup process took longer and longer. I mean, it eventually got to the point that the table I used as an auxiliary for sorting was too small for everything to be on there period, let alone with any real clarity to which set was which. And it was more and more painful - Sitting there hunched over, searching and sorting for hours to get everything back to its proper home in my storage bins left my back, neck, and shoulders utterly stiff and sore for days afterwards, which isn't exactly fun. The final big one is that in 2021, for my mom's birthday, my family got a new kitten for the first time in years. As much as I loved Ollie , I knew he absolutely could not be trusted with a big pile of dice just left out in the open. And after his tragic passing [RIP poor Little Bud. Sometimes biology just plain sucks, and it sucks that you apparently got dealt a bad hand], we eventually got Lilah, who much the same, is a cat. And leaving small, shiny things they can bat around out in the open is just a bad idea if you don't want to lose those things.
That's not to say that I've closed the door completely on doing more hoardscapes ever again. It's just that I'll definitely have to think about my approach carefully. One thing with my family having moved into the home that was my grandma's farm, is that I have a much bigger room now I could theoretically set up a table or something in here and keep it closed off, mostly solving the cat and "taking over a communal space" problem.
But, I guess for now, I think I have a pretty large amount of back-content to get back through - I'd even been reposting my old hoardscapes for quite a while now, and I guess I'm starting from the very beginning. So, new hoardscapes are not necessarily going to be something I rush to do. But it's not a hard-"absolutely never again" situation, either.
Anyway, I'm doing much better overall now (better meds/treatment/management, other diagnoses, living at home where I don't have to worry about day-to-day stuff falling by the wayside, etc.) , but still haven't returned to school or work because the migraines still are such that they're really not conducive to participating in capitalism - Most places are unhappy if you take more than the equivalent of 1 day per month off. I have constant low/mid-level headaches, with spikes into the upper end of the scale as the weather shifts. I can't recall a month that I haven't had at least three of those "absolutely not"-level days since all this started. In addition to them not being a consistent, predictable schedule. It just doesn't really provide a good work schedule. And the lingering fatigue is often more generally-limiting than the headaches themselves - Especially when combined with the adhd, so efforts towards self-employment/productivity of any sort are similarly sabotaged - As you no doubt might have surmised from my wildly inconsistent surges of creative output. So basically, for now, I'm still not really going to be working in a traditional sense. At most, I might pick up some of those online gig-type-things at some point, but that'll depend heavily on how that interacts with the government support payments I receive.
If nothing else, there's a good chance I'll get little projects from my family - I already transcribed my grandma's old cookbook to send around to my family, and am just waiting on my mom to help do some final edits for the text stuff. If I get really ambitious, I might try making as many of the dishes (mainly the baked goodies, lol) in there as I can to add photos into it for extra style points (and yeah, if I set out to cook everything in there, it will absolutely be a thing I make another sideblog about, and probably something I even upload content to instagram or youtube about - But that's all probably a long ways off from now). There's other stuff of my grandma's that I'll probably work on transcribing and organizing - Her "red book", as we call it, all the family history and such - Essentially a wiki before wikis were a thing (Note to future self: Is there a wiki-type thing you could use for this? It might be a more intuitive way to link entries).
Nevertheless, now that my hyperfixation seems to have swung back this way, towards creating D&D-related stuff, I'm going to keep at it. I've decided to spin off my character/lore posting to a new side-sideblog (@gobs-o-cs), and since I don't think I'll be reviewing each set of dice as I upload them again, I'll try to keep the individual set posts to a more *aesthetic*-look.
Honestly, the individual set uploads are the most I've lost with these blog resets. those comments (along with those on dicemails and such) are lost, because I generally just wrote them here and didn't think too much about backing them up anywhere.
All of the lore stuff I generally have saved in various other spots. The biggest loss on that front was all the work I'd put into organizing sub-pages on my blog for a character list and pages for individual characters. I'll definitely have to look into less-fiddly ways of keeping things sorted (Honestly, if I get really ambitious, I might have to look into those wiki-style things for writers/creators).
Okay, this was a lot longer (and maybe only a bit rambly-er) than I was planning for it to be.
(Although, when you do stream-of-consciousness-type essays rather than setting out with with any sort of specific plan, that's what'll happen. Hopefully I haven't left too many orphaned paragraphs as I've jumped around to different thoughts, lol).
The long and short of it is that this blog was exactly the sort of project I needed to give myself at a time when I was pretty much bottomed out in life. This was never a huge internet presence or anything, but I know there were quite a few people following towards the end of things. I certainly would be intimidated if I were standing up in a room and giving a presentation to well over 1000 people, not to mention other people who would reblog or like things even if they weren't specifically followers. But it was never about having a huge audience or anything like that. It's something I enjoyed, and will continue to enjoy and keep at for now. And if it re-finds its audience and continues to find an audience, well then, that's all the better.
Once again, thank you all very much for popping in here. Thank you to all of those who have liked and reblogged the silly dice photos I post, the stories I tell, and the random thoughts I follow to whatever conclusion they end up at. Especially thank you to everyone who's ever left a kind word on any of my posts - In the comments, in the tags, wherever.
I'm so glad you've all enjoyed my strange little hobby so far, and I hope you'll continue enjoying it as I work to put it all back up here, piece by piece.
#also if you made it all the way through this - Thank you so very much for reading!#long post#rambling about life#this blog has been a fantastic creative outlet for me#and I guess it's honestly been something truly good for my mental health#at a time when I desperately needed something#so thank you all for everything#and I look forward to seeing you all again - Old friends and new
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Enter the Clay Quarters, you're welcome among them.
Hi! I'm Toffee, I'm 20 and use he/they. This is a sideblog for Fallen London because the special interest has hit me like a truck and I live here now I guess.
Main blog is @toffee-rambles, art blog is @toffee-biscuits, and for other sites I have a carrd.
Asks and dms are open if you want to chat! Keep in mind that I'm slow and also in europe, so it might take a bit for a reply. I use tone indicators when I think it's necessary but feel free to ask for clarification.
Tag list (+ oc intros) below the cut- these will probably change as I use this more but hopefully I'll remember to update this post oops
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Tags for filtering
- Suggestive: self explanatory, I'm an adult 👍
- Long post: simply my personal vendetta against mile long posts carried over from main (/lh)
- FL crit: unsure if I'll actually end up complaining much but putting this here just in case
Post types:
- My art / Fic: what it says on the tin! I make things sometimes :D
- Originals / Chatter / Asks: various degrees of actual content
- Reblog game / Ask game: "reblog and answer in the tags" and ask prompt list type posts
- Officially noticed: mostly for my own amusement, posts that have been rbd by FBG
Reference tags, generally restricted to things between 1850-1920:
- Historical art: includes writing, photography, film, etc
- Fashion: clothes! mainly dresses
- Items: all sorts of things, various bits and bobs
- Reference: anything else that doesn't fit these
Content tags:
- Sskies / Motr: I've played/am playing these!
- c: Curators: general masters/curators tag bcus I love them all
- c: Manager: the manager of the royal bethlehem/may of the calendar council/This Fuckin Guy, I just think he's neat <3
I also talk about my ocs! A lot! So here's some basics about them and links to their tags.
- Flint Silverstein : My main account! A clay man pretending to be human who I adore to pieces. Ambition is heart's desire, closest to revs, lives out by the observatory to avoid everyone. [he/him]
--- Ingame profile, character page (toyhouse)
- Cordelia/Theodore Pembroke : Part high society part adrenaline junkie, pretends to be a married couple but is actually just one genderfluid mess. Ambition is bag a legend, closest to society, lives near the bazaar, very busy guy. [she/he]
--- Ingame profile, character page (toyhouse)
- Vincent Bell aka Vícenç Creuer Libèl·lula: Guy who came to the neath for research and has not been having a good time since. Usually found around the university or forgotten quarter talking about bugs. Ambition is light fingers, lives in a small flat near the university. [they/them]
--- Ingame profile [TBA], character page [TBA]
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Reaction to _ | ficlet 2
Reaction to a 🍆 pic
This is a narcos-only Sideblog for @artemiseamoon
Part one
Thank you 😄 inspo credit to @purplesong1028 (original post). These are not really edited rambles. You know the show you know the warnings. All for fun. Enjoy!
This round: Maria, Cochiloco (ft. Chapo and Güero Palma), Steve Murphy (ft Javi) and my addition of Yessica
Maria aka my Queen
After putting the gifts in the car, Maria shut the truck and made her way to the front. Though she has people who can take care of tasks like this, she’s always been independent and prefers to do things herself. Except for the nights she likes to read in silence, then she prefers things to be brought to her.
With the holidays around the corner, she wanted to make sure she had the perfect gifts for her kids. And seeing the smiles on their faces as they open these up, is going to be well worth the long drive to this specific toy shop.
Just as Maria enters the car, her phone buzzes. Taking it out of her purse, unlocks her phone and stares at it with raised brows.
It’s a dick pic.
Maria take a closer look and shakes her head disapprovingly.
Definitely a dick pic.
Maria clears her throat and pressed hard on the number. The option to call pops up, she does.
It rings one, twice. Then a third time. When the person picks up, she goes off before they get a chance to speak -
She ends her thorough verbal assault with six words, spitting them out like venom, “YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!”
Maria hangs up the phone.
Cochiloco
Ft. Chapo and Güero Palma
Being an assistant at Güeros office meant you saw a lot of funny things, between Cochi and Chapo, you were guaranteed a good laugh at least once a day. You’ve grown used to coming in, start of the day, and stumbling upon a joke.
So when you round the corner and hear their cacking, you know you’re in for something good. Then you enter the office and stop dead in your tracks. You feel your eyes grow wide and you nearly drop your coffee.
“What is that?!” You tilt your head slight, trying to decipher what you’re looking at. Then it hits you, it is that, it’s that blown up to small poster size.
Barely keeping it together, Cochi and Chapo curl over with laughter.
Cochi walks over to you, still laughing, “some son of a bitch sent me a dick pick so -“ more laughing “I posted it then printed it out-“ he howls louder and grabs his stomach
Chapo falls out of his chair.
Cochi points to him, “and this - “ still laughing , “sent one back!”
You shake your head and glance at Chapo, then Cochi.
“Whyyyy would you do that?” You turn your back to the giant dick staring at you.
“Because it’s funny!” Chapo and Cochi say at the same time.
Then the door opens. You catch the brief closed mouthed smile on Gueros lips as he enters. You also watch it drop.
“What the fuck?”
His response makes them laugh even harder and you start to laugh too.
Guero is too tired for this shit. Everything with Miguel and the plazas is stressing him out, and they’re here doing this?
He goes up to the wall, tears it down, then goes over to his desk. He sighs and wishes he was home with Lupe and the kids. Thinking of them alone, brings a smile back to his face.
Cochi kicks the crumpled paper over to Chapo, he’s hiding his laughter behind his arm. Chapo picks it up and puts it in the drawer.
You know them well enough to know, they’re definitely keeping it.
Steve
(Ft Javi)
Steve closes his eyes. It’s been a long day. He’s going to have fucking nightmares about paperwork. He’s going stir crazy in this office and needs some action soon.
Opening then again, he glimpses at the window, the moon is out and it must be about 7 o’clock now. He pours a glass of whiskey and sits back in the chair.
When his phone buzzes, he expects to see a text from Connie, but that’s not what he gets. It’s a text from an unknown number, a fully erect cock staring right at him.
“What the fuck?” Steve drops his phone on the desk and pushes it away from him.
Steve stares at the phone, then picks it up again. He types, “You should be ashamed of yourself.” Then presses send.
“Asshole.” Steve picks up his glass, takes a huge gulp, then gets back to the paperwork.
Javi walks in five minutes later with a fresh pack of cigarettes and some street food in a brown paper bag.
Steve sits up, “Fuck you Javi.”
“What did I do?” Javi looks at him innocently and puts the bag down.
Steve gets up and shows him the pic.
Javi snickers, “you think that’s me?”
“Isn’t it?”
“I’m offended. I thought we were friends.”
Steve looks at it again, “who the fuck would send me a dick pic then?”
“Better question, why’d you keep it?” Javi raised a brow , leaned against the desk and lit a cigarette
Steve flips him off then deletes the pic.
Javi chuckled, bringing the cigarette to his lips, “if you want to see mine -“
Steve walks out of the room.
Yessica
I adore her so added her in…
Zipping the dress closed, Yessica turns and looks in the mirror. She was playing for someone important tonight, the manager made sure to drive that home to everyone.
It would be a long night, but as long ad it paid well, it’s fine. Yessica finished the final touches of her outfit then grabs her purse.
She heads to the counter to get her phone when it starts to buzz. She slides the screen and opens the text.
Yessica snickers, then raised her brows.
Well, if this is a sign, tonight’s going to be interesting
She puts her purse down and replies,
“I’ve seen better.”
Three dots immediately pop up, vanish, pop up again then vanish.
Yessica chuckles then writes, “hey, maybe it’s cold out? Try again later?”
Three dots pop up, then vanish.
Yessica types another message, “heres a tip, don’t take it fresh out the shower.”
She presses send.
‘Not delivered’ pops up under her message.
“Guess I hurt his feelings .”
Yessica puts her phone in her purse, grabbed her keys, and heads out for the night.
#Maria narcos#Maria Elvira#cochiloco#Chapo narcos#Guero narcos#Steve Murphy#javier peña#yessica narcos#Güero Palma#you know the show you know the warning#not the real guys
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Yoo! Lya's here.
So this is my blogs (there's so many ... depend to what's the content I want to make). Just make sure which one do you want to see/follow since each blog has different content (for hastags guide, check it here)
@kanesadagumi (mainblog; merch photodump)
So I'm a merch collector, and since I like to bring them along when I went somewhere, I also like to took some photo of them if I find something interesting. Doing this for fun so I don't post daily.
@harunokijournal (sideblog; OC archive)
Archive for my children (read: OCs). Actually I'm doing this on twitter but since that platform is going bad recently, I decided to move them here. Almost all of the content writen in Indonesian.
@kousuisanka (sideblog; yume corner)
Archive for my yume (oc x canon) thingy. I do ships my OCsona with some of my oshis. I do reblogs my yumeart from my artblog here. Usually doing this on twitter but for some reasons I put the rambling here. Mostly writen in Indonesian (probably will just write in English for arts). I have tags for each of my yumeship and put the list on the pinned—kindly check it to avoid in case you're doutankyohi type of person and we have a same oshi.
@rainofwisteria (sideblog; art dumping)
Archive for my arts. Fanart, yumeart, OCart, from now on I'll post them here. Yumeart and OCart will still get reblogged on my yumeblog and OCblog for archive purpose.
@shizenyumi (sideblog; random side)
Kind of random blog of mine. I do post my game screenshots (tkrb and bunal), rebloging (doing this oftenly), and sometimes talks abt something randomly. Pls do check my rentry for this one because I would post/reblog anything that really took my interest.
Also I do put my general rentry on each pinned. Not too necessary to see but if you want to know more about me, feel free to read.
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the length of my pinned post is bothering me I think I’m gonna remake my about page and just link it for aesthetic purposes. Also I have an art blog but I’ve abandoned it due to lack of motivation/consistency and because it’s annoying to sign out and then sign back into my main account. I’ve also realized I like to talk so much. Like an annoying amount, it’s like I start talking and go on autopilot to the point where I won’t shut up about my deepest insecurities and dreams/aspirations to my sister while she’s trying to sleep. But it feels good to get the words out. I have a journal but my obsessive thoughts always make me think I got pen ink on my hands so I rarely use it. I’m not going to put extremely personal shit on here bc tumblr is not a diary obviously but it’d be nice to just say shit into the void because I feel like when I talk to people I really only wanna talk about what I wanna talk about and tend to space out when the topic shifts and just focus on my topic, but it’s not intentional. I just have shit I gotta speak and get out of my head. should I make a sideblog for art and ramblings? Idk why I’m asking here I just feel like it’d be more organized if I kept that in a separate place and kept my main mostly reblogs and occasional random posts. Also wanna draw more and I feel like not having to log in and out would motivate me more to post art. I’d honestly appreciate feedback on whether I should or not
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since i’m coming back i also feel obliged to make an informal update post; not for anyone in particular, just as a sort of digital diary entry. ramble about the past 2+ years and what i wanna do now under the readmore
i know in retrospect, 2 years or so is not a long time at all, but it still Feels like forever ago since i attempted to be active on tumblr, mostly because of how different my interests and priorities are now. so i still think it warrants a word dump
in the past 2+ years since i’ve last been active on tumblr, i’ve let new things come along and alter my brain chemistry. 2 years ago, i was really into posting oso-san fanart, but i’m no longer interested in participating in that fandom (or what’s left of it), so i’m letting myself move on to other stuff. i was also into posting ocs, but my investment in that has died quite a bit. it’s now an interest i’d prefer to indulge privately, if at all. i was also into warrior cats, but again, that interest died down and i want to focus on other stuff. i think the only things about my activity that won’t change is posting cringe and reblogging random shit i find funny
as for what i’m currently invested in, i’m mostly into identity v now, and will most probably be an idv-centric blog. but i do still want this blog to include some general interests and personal posts as well. i’m too lazy to maintain a bunch of sideblogs. another way i’ve changed is, i haven’t discovered i’m fictionkin (that discovery was a longer time ago), but its prominence in my life grew substantially, to a point i can’t hide it without feeling suffocated. so i’m gonna use this blog as an outlet for that part of myself as well. when i was first getting into idv i never thought itd put me in the blender this bad but here i am... look how i turned out... anyway i’m also into genshin impact now, and idk how much of that i’ll post or reblog, but it rots my brain so i won’t eliminate the possibility. i can’t think of any other interests prominent enough that it’d be safe to guess it’d be a focus of this blog... i think i’ll just let my impulses guide me amen. okay fr though i’m a hodgepodge of random interests and whims so my friends and anyone who decides to follow this page are just gonna have to deal with that
as for how i’ve changed as a person, um.. scratches head... i’ve changed a lot, but not at all. my art improved a lot, i think. i’ve gone through lots of fictionkin-related self discovery and introspection that put me in the blender, and also my gender has done more cartwheels than i can count. i’ve grown up a little bit (as much as one can do when aging from 17-20 LMAO) and had many experiences, good and bad. going forward, i hope to get out of my shell more and feel free to interact with people. i also hope to become more comfortable existing online in general, and let go of the extreme lurker impulse. i discovered a lot of very skilled artists on twitter, as well as discovered very cool communities! i want in on that, and hopefully one day i can shake off the shyness
ok thats it i think... o7
#txt#this was way longer than i intended#but thats ok (100 emoji)#mayhaps i'll make the new pinned post tomorrow
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Hi perce! I have been following your account for a while, and I LOVE your blog. Its literally even given me inspiration to try and start my own, but I literally have no idea how to start! I already have my rules, masterlist, and abt me ready.. just no drafts. I want to have a couple before I post just to make sure I have content ready.. but I literally have no idea where to start, my brain just BLANKS.
I love your fics, so could you give me some tips?
hi!!! first of all, thank you! i'm glad you enjoy my posts and it means a lot to inspire you?? like that was how i started here, being inspired and encouraged by a writer i love, so it's like a little full circle moment to me :')
secondly, don't feel like you have to have content ready at all possible moments!! i struggle with it a lot, but it's important to remember that you are doing this for fun/as a hobby and having the mindset that you have to constantly churn out writing can make it so you start to dread it. there's no pressure to post consistently or even have a schedule. post when you want. write when you want.
i'm going to put the rest under the cut because i tend to ramble a lot whoops
in terms of ideas, a lot of times i just write whatever comes to me. most of my drabbles are written in the moment because i'm not necessarily trying to think of ideas. which can be nice because then i'm not forcing things, but it's bad because then i'm not working on the things i wanted to write.
BUT! tumblr is FULL of inspiration and ideas! sometimes i'll search for writing prompts (i usually go for dialogue ones as opposed to scenarios but that's just me), and see what jumps out at me. there's some blogs that are dedicated to prompts or aus and those can be helpful to look at! even if you don't use one of the prompts, you can get inspired by it and go your own route.
my first writing here was a continuation/exploration of an idea i sent as an anon, so i had an easy thing to focus on. some people don't like their ideas being expounded upon, so if you want to do that, always ask the person first. (i personally don't mind if people get inspiration from my posts or ideas, i love seeing different takes and styles !!)
sometimes i also surround myself with the content i want to write. like, i mostly write nsfw because that's what interests me and i feel like i can focus on actions rather than feelings. it fits my writing style a lot better in my opinion. so i follow blogs that post the same stuff. you can get inspired by it, just because your brain is in that space. i'll see a post and my brain will be like "what if it was this character but also we change the situation and actually the dynamics are different now too" and all the sudden, i have a completely separate idea.
i'm not sure how familiar you are with tumblr itself, so i'll give a few pointers that are helpful to know!
when you make a new blog (sideblog or main), your first posts will most likely not show up for a bit in tags. this is mostly to make sure you're not spamming and whatnot but sometimes it helps to reblog some posts first and wait a few days until tumblr actually registers you as a blog! so i highly recommend setting up your blog and reblogging some things before posting your writing.
aaaand reblogging is a GREAT way to make mutuals/friends! for me, i always notice the people who reblog/leave tags on my writing and i'm a lot more likely to look at their blog if i recognize their name. reblogging is what keeps the community alive, too. it's really weird (in my opinion) to see a blog that only posts their content and never reblog anyone else's work. writing is very much a community and that means supporting each other.
i hope this helped a bit at least!! if you have any more questions or want me to give any other tips, please don't hesitate to ask! and i'd love to see what you write if you want to share <3 (no pressure obviously!!)
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Helloooo! My name's Meera, I'm 19 years old and welcome to my self ship and oc x canon blog! ^^
This is my little personal space where I post art, ramble and reblog stuff! Expect most of my F/Os to be robots because I love robots a lot lmaoooo 💕
This is a sideblog so I interact and follow from @meerphanim (aka my main art blog). Sometimes I would reblog my artworks from my other blogs (including said art blog) and will be tagged as self reblog.
I don't take self shipping very seriously and I don't care if people have the same F/Os I have. I think that makes me a hobbyist self shipper.
You might see on occasions I put the term romantic in quotation marks (like this → "romantic"). What I feel is somewhat like that yet I'm not sure if it fits for how much it fluctuates; disappearing and reappearing. Hence, the quotation marks.
On some occasions, some of my posts, both text and art may be suggestive and will be tagged as such however I do not go as far to post anything explicit. If you're a minor and/or uncomfortable with these kind of posts, please block the tag.
Proshippers, comshippers and neutral/proship friendly blogs GET THE FUCK OUT!!! YOU ARE NOT WELCOME AND I WILL BLOCK YOU ON SIGHT.
Lastly, feel free to interact! Send an ask or two or more but know I am often socially anxious. I appreciate those being patient with me ^^
Here's my F/O List!
Aaaand I suppose that's all for now! Thank you for reading and have a nice day/night ❤️❤️❤️
#intro post#selfship promo#self ship#self ship community#It finally happened! The blog is here!#This is... kinda scary because this feels very personal already#Aaah the nervous!!!#Edit : AAAAH I JUST NOTICED A MISTAKE IN THE SECOND PARAGRAPH it's fixed now though!
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Hello and welcome!
This is my writing/rambling blog that I essentially use as a dumping grounds for talking about characters I’ve created for a variety of shows, books, tv shows, movies and so on that I love. It really is basically just all fandom OCs up in here. xD
I don’t imagine I’ll write any proper fanfics about these characters in the near (or even far) future, but I still enjoy thinking about them and talking about them with those that are interested. So uhh…yeah please don’t ask me where you can read their stories because I haven’t written anything (but thank you all the same for being that invested). This blog is really just a nice convenient spot I can ramble that I can easily link friends and followers to because shit like Instagram is absolutely awful for long text content.
Any images I personally post here will be either images I’ve drawn myself, stuff I’ve commissioned others to create for me, or photos of dolls I own that represent my characters. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t take these images to use for your own things. I may also use images I’ve put together via doll makers (such as what you can find on Picrew), but I’ll be sure to mention when I do and leave links when available (I have some old images from Picrews that seem to be no longer online).
If you’re more interested in fandom things, check out my main blog @singull , which also has links to all the other sideblogs I have! :)
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❥ No matter when, I want to see you!
﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉
!!COMMISSION INFO!!
STATUS: OPEN
hi hi!! welcome to my blog!
☆ please call me skiddle!
☆ i go by she/her or they/them (no preference!)
☆ i'm autistic!
☆ don't expect this level of organization or professionalism in literally anything i post ever, i just want my blog to look nice. we're all clowns, this is one giant circus and you expect me to not act like a dumbass? fool. anyway, more under the cut! it's probably a lot less nice looking down there though...
(banner + intro post picture source, art credits in video desc)
﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉
ok now that i don't have to act professional for my aesthetic purposes, welcome to my blog, i'm gonna list some more important stuff like a dni and fandoms i post in and stuff. keeping the coloured text though because i want to and it's pretty. it's like enrichment for my enclosure
-
CURRENT FANDOMS/INTERESTS:
☆ ONESHOT (god i love oneshot)
☆ OneShot mods (Equinox, Aftermath)
☆ Vocaloid
☆ HappyDays (the terraria youtuber)
☆ OMORI
☆ Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
☆ Vocaloid
☆ Danganronpa (unfortunately)
☆ ENA
☆ Project Sekai
☆ Undertale
☆ Smile for Me
☆ Cookie Run: Kingdom (UNFORTUNATELY) (currently only watched main story, haven't seen the alliance)
☆ Kirby
☆ Stardew Valley
☆ Inscryption
☆ The Stanley Parable
☆ Rain World
☆ probably others that i can't remember off the top of my head, will update if necessary
DNI IF:
☆ S I K E i'm not giving you a list of what upsets me that'd be putting a target on my back, i know what the internet's like LMAO
just pass the vibe check and you're fine tbh, i have incredibly low standards so as long as you haven't done something illegal or aren't just generally human scum you'll be allowed to stay!
☆ i'm also generally okay with anyone following me regardless of what fandoms they're in, there's some that are a little iffy for me but i don't really judge, tbh i don't like the opinion that engaging in specific fandoms makes you a shitty person. obviously this is within reason though
NAVIGATION:
uhh. i'm still working on this. i have executive dysfunction please bear with me for like a year or so. i have so many posts to sift through please
these are the current non-fandom tags i have set up:
#my art (take a guess)
#live skiddle reaction (for my blind reaction highlights. currently playing in stars and time!)
SIDEBLOGS:
@skiddles-oc-rambles - my oc zone!
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#intro post#I WANTED TO MAKE THE VIDEO EMBED LIKE IN MISHA'S INTRO POST#BUT IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK BECAUSE I CAN'T SWITCH TO HTML IN THE NEW EDITOR#AND SWITCHING TO THE OLD EDITOR GETS RID OF ALL THE COLOURED TEXT 😭 /nm#also hey remember when i said under the cut would be less organized. apparently i lied
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switchin’ lanes - l.jn | ridin’ club
━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series
genre ➠ slow burn, smut, pwp???, fluff (if u squint)
wordcount ➠ 8.3k
details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jeno, badboy!jeno, college!au,
━ where you and jeno are in a relationship, but not with each other.
warnings ➠ explicit language, cheating, flirty banter, alcohol consumption, drugs, yall at a party, physical fighting (not with you), mentions of cuts/bruises, hickeys, drunk public dry humping, thigh riding, fingering, oral (f/receiving)
synopsis ➠ If your boyfriend didn’t decide to join such a stupid unofficial club, then maybe you wouldn’t be in such a sticky situation where Lee Jeno is literally knuckles deep in your sticky situation as he drives you home. Or maybe if your boyfriend actually touched you, then you wouldn’t be seeking it from someone else, who can’t keep his hands off of you.
taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo ; @dearlyminhyung
a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! i hope you enjoy the series pls leave me feedback lmaoo ill literally take anything. we also hit a milestone for followers and honestly its so crazy to know how quickly this tiny sideblog has grown! we’re so thankful that yall follow us, thank u for lovin us and we will try our best to put out more content!! also through the lens hit 1k notes how is that even possible like wow im speechless thank u for everyone who left such kind comments i treasure every form of feedback :)
The heavy double doors of the classroom stare tauntingly at you. The evening setting in, painting the sky with strokes of orange and pink. You managed to remain complaint free the entire day, until your forgetful boyfriend canceled on you because of a club meeting. A meeting for an unofficial club on campus because it is illegal to street race. A club consists of delinquents that are obsessed with cars and steal your boyfriend away from you.
This is the fifth time this week that your boyfriend stood you up or coincidentally forgot your dates. You can’t remember the last time he physically stood in front of you and not through a phone screen. However, it is not completely the stupid club’s fault that your boyfriend has neglected you.
He truly is the worst boyfriend ever. He blames everything on his bad memory and does not prioritize you in his life. He loves one thing --- his car. You could be lying in a hospital bed, and he wouldn’t care to check up on you.
So why did you stay with him? Because you’re scared of being alone? Possibly, but it is a can of worms that you did not want to open just yet. Sex is definitely not the reason you stay with him. He hasn’t touched you sexually since the first and now, last time you two slept together.
You try your best, to only be waved off with a yawn. He doesn’t compliment you. He doesn’t look at you lovingly. He doesn’t even kiss you for longer than two seconds. You are a toppling tower, ready to crumble at any given moment.
The anger in your body fuels you as you pull the door open to reveal several men in leather jackets chatting away with each other. One by one, they all begin to lay their eyes on who abruptly interrupted their joyous conversations. Your eyes scan the room full of intimidating men, whose auras cause a shiver to run down your spine.
Your boyfriend is nowhere in sight, given that there are plenty enough guys who have the ability to cover him. You walk into the open space and the entire mood of the room shifts.
Heavy cologne and a deafening silence fill the air. One particular male, who has been eyeing you the entire time, gets up and walks towards you.
“Are you lost, baby?” Scoffs and chuckles sparsely cover the corners of the room. The unknown male has a jarring cut on his eyebrow, matching a small bruise on his upper cheekbone.
“I’m looking for my boyfriend…” Your weak voice trails off from the sudden attractive male intimidation. The tall man peers around the room, crossing his arms.
“If you are this beautiful woman’s boyfriend, please fucking come out now. It’s very rude to keep your girl waiting for you!” Initially, his low throaty shout startles you. A heavy heat falls on your cheeks when you register his choice of adjectives.
The whole room falls silent once more, before your pitiful boyfriend steps out from between two bulkier men. “Hey babe, what are you doing here?” His eyes nervously bounce around the room, a shaky laughter erupting from his gut.
“Sorry, Jeno. I didn’t mean to cause such a scene. I didn’t even see her come in.”
Like a trigger, you remember your intentions for storming in uninvited. Jeno gauges your flaming reaction to your boyfriend’s apologetic words. He nods, not out of acceptance of the apology, but out of disbelief.
He pulls your boyfriend by the collar of his white shirt and your eye widens at the condescending tone that causes your boyfriend to cower, “I’m not the one to apologize to.” With a careless toss, your boyfriend ends up shaking in front of you.
“Jeno is not the only one you should be scared of.” You whisper angrily to him as the rest of the room continues on with their previous chatter.
Your boyfriend rolls his eyes, “listen, Jeno’s been arrested before. You don’t want to get on that man’s bad side.”
Your eyes wander behind your boyfriend’s hunching shoulders, catching Jeno steal peeks at you too. There is no interest in the other rambling male that stands in front of him. He just wants to check you out a bit more.
He is the hottest person you’ve ever gotten the attention of. You feel flustered, and a bit flattered at his lingering gaze. His brown hair is slicked back messily, giving you more to admire. Jeno is an absolute cliche from a bad boy fanfiction. He is unreal, and the odd chance that he can’t keep his eyes off of you, is also unreal.
But with a light nudge from a blue haired fellow, Jeno’s eyes peel away from your’s. They exchange a few words, which then propels Jeno to hurriedly put on his slightly tattered leather jacket.
You lick your lips to the sight of his body lines as he stands up to follow his friend, but not without another look back at you. Noticing your stare still on him, he bids you a tiny wave goodbye with a smirk to die for. And like that, he’s gone.
“Are you listening to me?” Your boyfriend’s voice finally reaches your reality. Your focus shifts to the obviously irritated expression on his face.
“I guess, I’m not. Don’t fucking stand me up again or I will key your car.” You aren’t actually those kinds of girls, but your boyfriend didn’t take a threat seriously unless it involves his highly treasured car.
And like Jeno, you also make your exit out of the steamy room. The chilly night brush against your unknowingly hot cheeks. Then, you take yourself to the only unhealthy coping mechanism you can think of: a place of free alcohol and no boyfriend.
It takes you a few months to completely stop caring about your dying relationship. You figure how easy it is for your boyfriend to do it, so you make the same decision.
He spends his nights with his friends he made from his club, and has totally become a self proclaimed car enthusiast. You lose yourself in copious amounts of cheap alcohol at your local parties and it’s almost like you stop sulking over a man who kisses his car goodnight.
While being alone did not bother you as much as you had been dreading, the sexual frustration is a completely different issue. You are absolutely drooling whenever your eyes find Jeno in the crowds of sweaty bodies.
If there is one good thing that came out of your boyfriend’s membership in that club, it had to be Lee Jeno and a few other notable people who attended the same parties as you.
He became a very close acquaintance, and you had learned some very important names associated with the Ridin’ Club. Na Jaemin, Lee Haechan, and Huang Renjun. But the three could not compare to the kindhearted Jeno that makes butterflies stir in your lower abdomen.
Over the months, you also had learned rather quickly that your sexually clouded mind had tricked you previously into thinking that Jeno’s stares were full of lust for you. His girlfriend makes it clear that it isn’t the case.
Although you have caught the couple making out several times when trying to use the bathroom, your feverish, impure attraction toward Jeno never calmed down.
“You’re looking very tempting tonight, baby.” Jeno’s beaming eye smile greets you, even after completely undressing you with his gaze. His arms are wide open to embrace your warm body.
The parties are always too hot to wear a fully clothed outfit. You often settle for a cute tank top and a short skirt to prevent your legs from collecting extra moisture. Jeno, without a fail, shows up in black jeans that clad his lower half, tucked with a simple white shirt. His tattoos and toned arms being on full display for you to admire.
“Better make sure your actual baby doesn’t hear that.” The loud beats of the music make Jeno’s chuckle almost inaudible, but his expression remains cheerful, as per usual. “Did you get into another fight?”
The fresh wound cut through his smooth complexion, which will eventually join the rest of his collection of fading scars. He mindlessly grazes over the new bandaging and dramatically winces. Clearly concerned, you grab his hand away from the injury. “Don’t touch it, stupid.”
His smile curves into a sly smirk, as he intertwines your fingers and kisses the back of your hand. “It doesn’t hurt at all.” His chest heaves into a fit of giggles, “just wanted to see you care for me.”
Groaning, you shake his massive hand off of your’s. “Very funny. I should start charging you for my attention.”
“Name your price, I got all the money in the world for you.” He winks, while lightly pinching your cheek. You are lying to yourself if you thought you could ever stay away from him. Jeno stirs up a part of you that craves the cheesy nicknames, flirty comments and the undivided attention.
He motions you to follow him into the mess of people. Almost as if he’s a god, the crowd parts for you two to walk through without unnecessary extra bodies. The fear that settles in many individuals’ chest is understandable.
Like your first impression, Jeno is a complete walking fanfiction trope. He negotiates better with his fists, usually with good reason. The guns of the Ridin’ Club, though, his friends are very much to be feared as well. They will not hesitate to run someone over, if given the heated situation to do so. And most definitely, you can count them to be backing up their fighter, Jeno.
You had not been mindful before of the chatter that regarded the secret Ridin’ Club. They are notorious for fast paced very illegal races in the middle of nowhere destinations and tempers that aren’t meant to be provoked. Besides their intimidating aura, it melts away after getting to know them.
Lee Haechan, the most annoying brat, but has the strongest, the most loyal bond to his boys. He’s also notably funny, often making you laugh with an exchange of banter.
Huang Renjun, the whiniest and initially quiet boy, but grows to be one of the loudest and will chew you out if anyone dares try engaging in verbal combat.
Na Jaemin, the flirty playboy who always has a swarm of girls, but the gentlest man with a soft spot for cute things.
And finally, Lee Jeno, the owner of your nights. He is the friendliest of them all, despite him being the toughest one. While his stare can kill, melting away his layers reveal the warmest heart. Not that Jeno is the only one to show initial interest in you, but he is the most considerate to the people he holds close to him.
He has taken care of you for many drunk nights and watched protectively over your intoxicated figure in the crowds. He makes you feel safe and seen, which are some of the many reasons you are entirely attracted to him.
“(Y/N)!” Jaemin’s scream pierce your ears the moment the blueberry catches your eye. He excitedly nudges the other two boys, who are busy pouring drinks into red cups.
“You’re going to make me spill it, idiot!” Renjun grumbles, but looks up to see your dazzling smile and tremendous excitement. His own smile grows, “so the life of the party finally decided to say hi.”
“Hi, my fanclub. I appreciate the long awaited greeting.” Your over the top, sarcasm causes all of them to chime loudly. Haechan hands you a cup and wraps his arm around your shoulders.
Jeno joins you at your side and the five of you clink your drinks to the ceiling. A fit of yells over the music and a competition of who can finish first. As per usual, you set your cup down after draining the entirety. The others are still chugging the burning liquid down their throats.
Haechan coughs after dropping his cup onto the counter. His face is twisted with the most disgusted contour, “I don’t know how you do it, (Y/N).”
“I already drank more than you guys, so it just tastes like water now.” You scream over the loud music. Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun toss their empty cups into the sink.
At this rate, you are completely blindsided by the effects of the alcohol as your legs give out to gravity. Jeno catches you quickly, holding your elbows and your head is placed on his shoulder. Jaemin chuckles lovingly, before helping Jeno balance you against the island. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders, as the room spins in front of you.
“You good?” Haechan pats your head gently, whispering close to you.
“I---” You try catching your breath after being winded. “--It’s hitting me now.”
Jeno wraps his arm around your lower waist to draw you close to him, “want to go sit down?” He mumbles into your hair. You nod, Jeno and Renjun supporting your limp body to walk over to the couch.
The dark living room is lit up only by colorful led lights, but it is not enough to make out much of anything. Everyone is in their own world, dancing and socializing within their own selves. The two men set you down on the cushion, but your impulse catches onto Jeno’s wrist before he leaves. Renjun is already lost in the crowd.
“Can I sit on your lap?” You pout cutely, all the shame in your body has been displaced with courage. Jeno’s eyes soften at your sudden request, and kisses the top of your forehead.
“The throne is all yours.” He says as he sits at your side and pulls you on top of his thick thighs. His arm is loosely dangling around your waist, resting on top of your thighs.
The intimate position causes your mind to wander into dark thoughts. His strong, sturdy legs feel delicious against your clothed core. While you’ve been in this position once before, you could never forget how protected, yet very horny it makes you feel.
“What’s on your mind, (y/n)?” Jeno’s deep voice brushes against your bare shoulder and you feel his chest press against your back. “You’ve been pretty silent tonight.”
You turn slightly to face him, “if I told you, I’m scared it would ruin things between us.”
“There’s nothing in the world that can hold me back from you.” He is always so quick to spill such alluring words. His soft lips graze lightly on your skin as his sparkling eyes look up at your expression.
All it takes is one more tiny kiss on your arm to get you grabbing his face, drawing him into a steamy, long awaited kiss. Surprisingly, he kisses you back, open mouth and tongue lapping with your’s. His hands reposition your legs to where you straddle him. Your faces dive deeper into each other’s as the kiss continues to intensify.
Jeno’s lips still have a hint of alcohol, but he mostly tastes like mint gum. And they are comparable to a cloud, the softest lips you have ever made out with. It is like kissing pure heaven, completely different from your boyfriend’s two second pecks. Jeno devours you in a needy way, like he’s been waiting to explore the wonders of your lips.
However, you pull away when you feel the vibration of his phone against your inner thigh, almost like a wake up call. As if all the liquid courage disappeared, you blink back in shock at Jeno’s plump wet lips. The thought of his girlfriend crosses your mind, and maybe slight guilt for your own boyfriend fills your system.
You quickly start getting up from his hot body, “fuck, I’m so sorry..” But his hands pull you back onto him, your legs finding their way open above his thighs again.
“Don’t be, I’ve always wondered what your lips would taste like.” A smirk, then a hearty chuckle relaxes your contracting nerves at the potential of a ruined friendship.
“But, your girlfriend..” Your tiny voice trails off and Jeno picks up your chin. His fingers rubbing along your jawline.
His eyes do another lap around your features. He admires your averting shy eyes, your beautiful lips, and how they all come together to make a stunning you.
There is no doubt in Jeno’s mind that he is very attracted to you. He knew it the moment you barged into the club meeting. You are his type of woman, a good mixture of confident and timidness. You like to have some fun, and aren't afraid to be bold. Not to mention, that you are incredibly hot and every time you flirt back just makes him melt inside.
“She won’t care. She hooks up with people all the time.” It puzzles you, all this time you had been holding yourself back from Jeno because he has a girlfriend. All to find out that the relationship isn’t as serious as you thought it to be.
“I know, it doesn’t make sense. But we aren’t two people to be tied down, but at the same time, we like each other enough to want to stay together.”
Your confused expression causes Jeno to laugh and ask, “what’s the dilemma with your boyfriend?”
Rolling your eyes at the mention of your boyfriend, you sigh, “it’s like we’re still together, but we aren’t at the same time. We’ve abandoned the relationship unknowingly.”
Jeno runs a warm hand up and down your thigh, while he listens intently to you. He nods, grabbing your waist to pull you over his groin. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“No, he’s a shitty person and an even shittier boyfriend. We literally haven’t fucked for the past year. I’m practically a virgin again.” His hand automatically gives your thigh a light squeeze.
Jeno’s eyes light up as you quickly cover your mouth out of embarrassment. A devilish smirk raises his cheekbone, and lust clouds his mind. Gauging his reaction, your cheeks turn hot.
“We’ll have to change that, don’t we? My baby must be all kinds of frustrated. Tell me, do you like when I touch you then?” Jeno drops in tempo, usually when he wants to be more intimidating with a deeper voice.
You clear your throat intending to speak, but you can only nod your head in response. “C’mon, (Y/N). Use your words, like a big girl.” Even with the loud music and continuous chatter, you can hear Jeno‘s taunting whisper.
His words tickle your collarbone as he runs his lips against your neck. Your heart is pumping rapidly at the turn of events, as if the possibility of having something beyond a kiss from Jeno is more than possible at this rate.
Jeno enjoys your small whimpers as he marks your neck with purple love bites. Right in the center of the crowded room, Lee Jeno is just casually giving you hickeys.
“Yes, I love that you can’t keep your hands off of me.”
Almost immediately, you can feel his lips curve into a smile on your skin. Pop! Jeno marvels the darkness against your skin in the mood lighting. A small part of him hopes you do end up seeing your boyfriend sometime soon, so he can see who you really belong to.
“How about we try touching like this?” Jeno pushes you down hard against his pelvis, the veins on his hands becoming evident from the grip and the tiny drawings permanently staining his fingers.
You gasp the moment you feel Jeno’s hip begin to move underneath you to the beat of the song. He rolls your hips rhythmically to match his speed. His clothed hard on can be felt through the only barrier you have on --- your panties.
The thin fabric is soon drenched in your juices after the continuous friction up and down his length. You throw your head back to every bump against your clit, the electrifying feeling enact more of your wetness to puddle.
You can’t believe you were grinding against Jeno in the middle of a full party, as if his friends aren’t a few feet away. It is a good thing that your skirt pools around both of your waists to conceal the dirty deed underneath.
Jeno’s lip escapes under his top row of teeth as he rubs his clothed length against your barely covered pussy. He can feel his jeans dampening from your wetness and his eyes roll to the back of his head from how the feeling of wanting you consumes his body. He really becomes uncontrollable when it comes to you.
This is the most sexual activity you have had with another person for over a year. Jeno just looks absolutely heavenly intoxicated with lust, and your mouth waters at how big his cock must be. You can feel his length the harder Jeno rolls against you, and it is definitely bigger than your boyfriend’s.
You are trying so hard to stay quiet and unnoticeable, but the pleasure seeps out every crevice. Jeno is trained on you as your hand reaches up to cover your mouth, the muffled whimpers escaping your lips uncontrollably.
“I’m so close.” You admit, your body jolting every time his jean button grazes against your sensitive bud.
Jeno moves you over his thigh, forgetting his incredibly hard dick straining in his jeans. As long as you are satisfied, he can care less about his own pleasure. A low scream erupts from your throat when he flexes against you.
His thigh is much more stable, with more control for consistency. You quickly notice the dark, wet spot on his jeans and you blush even harder. Your underwear clings onto you from the excessive moisture, but Jeno continues to help you finish.
The strands of hair cover your face, but Jeno needs to see your fucked out expression. He is taken aback when you start riding his thigh faster, grinding harder without the aid of his hands.
His mouth hangs slightly open in awe at your neediness, he truly did not know the extent of your sexual frustrations. Oh, but how he is incredibly turned on by you getting off on him.
“I want you to cum for me, you deserve it.” Jeno brings you in for another passionate kiss. The mixture of his tongue sucking harshly on yours, and the friction on your clit are more than enough to reach your climax.
Your legs clenched tightly around Jeno’s thigh. The small knot in your stomach that built, drops like the beat playing in the background. The feeling of white is familiar, but it is more intense than when you would touch yourself. You are finally receiving the pleasure from someone else’s touch, someone who wants you to unravel for him.
Jeno pulls away from your lips, kissing down your neck and collarbones as your chest heaves for air. His palm soothes your shaking legs as your climax subsides. You fall into his arms, and he laughs. The reality that you two just did that publicly registers in both of your minds.
Digging your shy face further into Jeno’s shoulder, he whispers lovingly, “let me drive you home.”
“Are you still drunk?” The muffled question tickles Jeno’s neck.
“I think you beautifully cumming on my thigh sobered me up.” He jokes and you quickly cover his mouth. Your heart practically stops and you hope no one else heard him.
It is silly that you are now self conscious, as if the whole room didn’t just watch you and Jeno grind on the couch. But, the feeling of embarrassment and regret lingers in your stomach. You mentally thank the dark room for concealing both of your identities.
“I’m sorry for your jeans.” A pout begs for forgiveness as you stare at Jeno’s beaming smile. He takes your hand off of his mouth, not forgetting to give your fingertips a lingering kiss.
“I’m sorry for your boyfriend. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Jeno parts your hair from your neck, admiring the marks he left on you. A small sense of pride builds inside of him, accompanied by a tiny bundle of possessiveness.
“Let me say goodbye to the boys and I’ll take you home.”
Nodding, Jeno carefully lifts you off of him and onto the cushion. He leans over to kiss your cheek. As he gets up, you see the darker shades on his jeans from your doing. However, Jeno is completely unbothered and continues to find his friends.
Now that you are alone, you feel a bit nervous that someone would come up to you and talk about what they saw. Checking your phone, your screen blinds you with absolutely no notifications from your boyfriend. Going on social media is worse, as you scroll to see that your boyfriend posted a photo.
It is a photo of his hot, red polished car. He obnoxiously posed squatting next to the front wheel, his lips puckered up and kissing the rims. With a caption that makes every regret in your body disappear, “with my one and only.”
The phone is tossed somewhere else, wishing to delete the image from your memory. Your eyes wander around the room, when they spot a suspicious man sneakily dropping a small pill in an unattended drink. He, then, looks up and catches your stare. Caught red handed.
But the male smugly smirks, “you’re going to pretend you didn’t see that, like how half of this room pretended to not see you grinding on Jeno.”
“You’re complete scum, I can’t believe you just roofied someone’s drink.” You yell in utter disbelief at the unwavering man. His disgusting smirk changes into a menacing smile.
He approaches you, his height allowing him to tower above. You gulp, scared at how he can easily overpower you at any second.
“And what are you going to do about it? What? Jeno didn’t loosen you up enough?” His revolting hot breath beating down your nose, invading every corner of your personal space.
Before you can find any insult to speak back, his figure goes flying sideways and out of your face. It’d be a lie to not admit your heart skipping a beat at the sight of Jeno’s clenched fists and locked jaw. His sharp gaze watches as the stranger gets up from the ground, inflammation already growing on his left cheek.
“Dude, what the fuck!” He shouts angrily, holding his cheekbone as he winces at the pain. Immediately, the conversations are replaced with gasps, and small whispers at the sight. People gather around the living room to see the commotion. Even you are unsure how to react to the sudden fight.
The other man lunges at Jeno with full force, but Jeno stops him by grabbing the man’s collar, “this,” Jeno punches his lip, busting it open, “is for dropping a roofie in someone’s drink.”
The stranger groans at the impact, but still gets up with a fist straight for Jeno’s gut. Watching Jeno take a blow is much more difficult than you had been expecting.
He crouches over from the punch, but quickly regains his composure to put the man in a headlock. A few more gasps erupt and wonder if you should stop him before he does something unnecessarily stupid.
“This,” the man squirms to try to get out of Jeno’s iron grip, “is for disrespecting my babygirl.” And with a shift snap, the male falls limp and unconscious.
A surprised intake of air and Jeno peers up at your scared expression. He calmly walks over to you, ignoring the swarm of people that had gathered around the scene. He can only see one thing — you. Jeno’s wandering eyes try to read your expression, but all he sees is a terrified girl.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, are you okay, (Y/N)?”
Blinking blankly for a few moments, you are mortified at the laying body, “what did you do to him?”
Jeno looks back at the stranger casually, “I put him to sleep for a bit. He’ll wake up in about 20 minutes.”
A rush of reassurance washes over you knowing that he is alive and Jeno didn’t just kill someone in front of you. You exhale all the anxiousness and nerves,
“thank you for stepping in.”
“I don’t fight without a good reason. You are more than a perfect reason to fight for.” He pinches your cheek cutely, and his tough exterior fades away yet again.
His famous eye smile that warms your insides is back as if the scary, intimidating expression didn’t exist a few seconds ago. Jeno’s good sides only appear with you. Nevertheless, you are happy to know how special you are to see them.
“Violence is never the answer.” He nods, only taking it for a grain of salt. “Are you okay? It looked like stringbean knocked some wind out of your gut.”
The teddy bear thrusts himself forward into a fit of laughter, his head resting on your lap. His melody lights every dark corner inside of you. “He did get a good punch in there, didn’t he?”
His rumbling laughter stops, and he peers up at you. “I can’t believe you were still worried about a complete asshole.”
Scoffing, you break the shared gaze. “I’m a compassionate human being.” Jeno stands up, extending his hand for you to take.
“I know, you’re the best kind of person.” He genuinely means it with the way his tone remains quite stern, eye contact unwavering. He is revealing more of his intimate parts, and in return, you wish for him to see your’s.
Silence drowns out all the commotion between you two. Jeno grows shy at the way the galaxies reflect in your stare. “I--” Never once, did you think you would witness Lee Jeno stammer over his words. “I-I, let’s-- I want to take you for a drive.”
To Jeno, a drive to him is equivalent to your hand in marriage. Even his own girlfriend has never been on a drive with him. It is a big part of his personality, given that he is a crucial member of the Ridin’ Club. However, out of all of them, he is the last one to flaunt his hobby. It is special, almost sacred to his entire being.
“Me?” It is the dumbest question to ask, but you really want to clarify his intentions. Before this night, you two were barely considered friends. You two never saw each other outside of the late night parties.
But now, Lee Jeno wants to take you on a drive. It makes you wonder if the desire of companionship is mutual, that he too pines to further your relationship.
“I’m not looking at anyone else,” Jeno still waiting for your hand and holding an intense eye contact. His heart lays exposed for you, just right on his sleeve. An innocence paints his usual intimidating aura, “let me show my special girl, what is special to me.”
He must possess some magic because he knows every way to make you swoon. And like that, your palm meets his and he locks his fingers between yours.
The moment you enter Jeno’s striking, eye catching car, you automatically relax into the leather seats. His pristine car matches his personality --- simple, but captivating. Your boyfriend’s car is the exact opposite, which is why you never enjoy sitting in it.
Jeno has pieces of himself that scatter his car, like an adorable small plushie that watches out the back window. A beaded lanyard dangles from his rear view mirror. It even matches his scent of a deep ocean breeze.
Unlike your boyfriend’s obnoxious details, Jeno did not have a light up stereo that flashed annoyingly to every beat drop in a song. Instead, a sweet lilac color illuminates at your feet, along with his.
“You like what you see?” Jeno catches you astonish at the tiny aspects of the interior.
“Of course, it’s yours. It’s exactly like how I would imagine it to be.” Jeno is proud, hearing you praise his car. Even he can admit, it is a bit weird to be so connected to an inanimate object.
Nevertheless, his car, racing, driving became a huge part of his life. And unlike his friends, he feels rather shy and slightly embarrassed for being such a geek.
But hearing you actually appreciating the small details of his car when you probably hate every aspect of racing due to your boyfriend’s doing, it makes him feel very happy.
Maybe happy is an understatement, more like overjoy at how you freely can recognize the things that make him content. You respect him, and are mindful that as mundane as a car is, you know that it is something important to him.
Silence becomes the majority of the ride out of the quiet, suburban neighborhood. While Jeno’s eyes remain focused on the road ahead, you are concentrated on him.
He drives with one hand on the wheel as he rests his elbow on the middle console. His eyebrow creases here and there. It is the most normal, mundane activity anyone can do --- drive. That is all he is doing, yet the effect it suddenly has on you can not go unnoticed.
Abruptly, with the rev of the engine and a press on the gas, the car practically flies on the empty freeway. It catches you off guard, causing you to hold onto the grab handle. Jeno peeks over at your shocked figure, and smiles to himself.
“Relax, (Y/N).” He calls your name, reaching over to rub your thigh as a way to calm your anxiousness. Automatically, your hand grips onto his for support and the other one drops from the handle.
Exhaling, your eyes are trained ahead. The car is moving so fast that you can’t even make out anything around you. Everything becomes nothing, but colorful streaks against a dark background. The gravity against your chest feels crushing.
“How-- How fast are you going?”
Jeno glances at the speedometer and intertwines your fingers into his own. “I don’t think I should tell you that, you might actually have a heart attack.”
The window rolls down and you are hit with rumbling wind, “I know you’re scared right now, so stick your head out the window and take a deep breath.”
You look at him in pure fear, “what?! I can’t even move, let alone stick my head out the window!”
Jeno shakes his head, “trust me. Please, trust me.” He needs you to experience the same thrill he does. His own adrenaline is through the roof, out the entire atmosphere of the vehicle. The amount of joy he is experiencing became tenfold now that you are sitting beside him.
You trust him and very meticulously, go against the wind. Your hair crazily dances along with the rush and your eyes water from being dried out. Adjusting to the pressure, you also stick your hand out the window. It whips backward, but you feel the wind slip between your fingers.
The rise in heartbeat and excitement pump through your veins. The beauty in the white streaks that create a runway, it is nothing but you and the open space. There is no other way to explore it, except at a high pace. You understand why Jeno loved it so much.
Jeno bounces between the road and half of your figure out his window. Your eyes are closed initially, before you barely squint open. Tears fly by with strands of your hair, but you start to move your hand to physically feel the thrill pass between your fingers.
Then he sees it in the side mirror: the sweet curve in your lips he loves the most and the wideness of life in your eyes. It only makes him press the gas harder.
“That was incredible! You should take me riding with you more.” You marvel at him as he starts the route to your place. It is complete playfulness that hints in your tone because you are aware of how sacred these are to him. Nevertheless, a part of you still hopes he agrees to do so.
Jeno nods, “only because I like you,” He pauses, gauging your reaction with his side eye gaze, “a lot.”
Your heart sinks to an unsettling place in your stomach. Jeno could not possibly be serious, however, his tone no longer matches the playfulness of your own. It almost seems like he is telling the truth. But you didn’t want to believe that.
Your eyes make a full circle before settling at the disappearing sidewalks, “stay in your lane, Jeno.” It is to keep the mood still light, you and Jeno aren’t ones to be serious.
His hand has been on your thigh for the whole night, whether it be out of habit or comfort. His touch is always welcoming and warm, but suddenly, you feel the small squeeze on your flesh. Turning your attention on his face, you can see how a smirk has grown.
“But yours seems much more fun.” Immediately, your stomach leaps with somersaults. Your throat gets dry and tight, not anticipating that response.
“Beside, you can’t act like we both haven’t swerved. It was barely moments ago that you were cum---”
“---No need to further explain.”
“And I’d proudly do it again.” His voice drops several decibels and his hand slowly snakes it’s way up your thigh. All the while, his eyes still on the road ahead.
You gulp as every heartbeat constricts your throat. Lifting the ends of your skirt higher to expose more, you secretly want Jeno to cause your legs to shake again. “D-Do what again?”
Jeno perks up to the sweetness of curiosity in your tone. He pulls up to a red stoplight, being able to finally look over to your innocent face and needy hands gripping the cute, thin fabric. He stares deeply into your eyes, “make my baby cum.”
Similarly to the stoplight, you give Jeno the green light to pull your panties to the side. You spread your legs wide as his finger massages your pussy lips. He gets dangerously close to your erect clit, barely skimming over it.
A needy, yet delicate moan escapes your lips and Jeno’s jaw tightens. He’s more upset that he’s missing the view of your legs spread, open mouth in ecstasy, half lid eyes all in the passenger seat of his car. He hopes for another red light, just so he can peek over at your delicious figure.
“Jeno, please touch me.” Your voice is airy and desperate. He hummed in response, completely withdrawing his hand from your core. However, you catch his wrist and bring it to rest on your inner thigh. “Please.”
The distinct beg in your tone drives him crazy. As he dips his finger into your sudden wetness, a shiver runs up your spine. Right when he applies minimal pressure on your bundle of nerves, you jolt and close your thighs around his hand.
One touch already feels too good to be true, that finally someone, Lee fucking Jeno, is actually touching your nakedness. Peering down, Jeno’s arm is flexing in between your legs. His veins popping ever so slightly and his tattoos paint his smooth skin.
“Open your legs, babe.” His low devilish chuckle rumbles in your lower abdomen. “Let me give you the lovin’ you’ve been deprived of.”
You shudder at his cadence and slowly pry open your legs. Jeno stops at a red light and gets to see your reaction as he rubs you in a fast rhythmic pace. A soft cry yelps from your throat and you have to grip the handle to keep yourself from spazzing out any further.
Almost like a trance, he doesn’t notice that the light turns green. He’s locked into the sight of your contorting body. Your hips have a mind of its own, yet again, as Jeno feels you rolling deeper into his touch.
“Poor baby, you’re so touch starved that you can’t control yourself.”
“It feels better when you do it.” You whine, your lip being bruised from your biting. But your eyes notice the green illumination and you blink over at Jeno.
He is practically drooling at the sight of you, his eyes are trained at your needy hips and dripping wet core that soaks his fingers. You stop every urge to steal more kisses from him.
Jeno briefly recovers from the trance and steps on the gas. He takes this opportunity to ease a finger into the core, causing you to exclaim and squeeze around his digit. “Oh fuck, you’re so tight.”
“More, Jeno.” The way his name rolls off of your tongue makes his heart flutter and his dick to raise in his jeans. Without much hesitation, he slowly slips in another finger and you moan at the stretch. Pumping and curling, he ensures that you are enjoying every action.
His fingers curl against your plushy flesh and your legs spread wider for him to go deeper. You’re a moaning mess when he curls up to your sweet spot, rubbing his fingertips quickly. The familiar queasy feeling builds in your lower regions, and Jeno becomes merciless with his fingers.
He guides them in and out of you, feeling your tightness release and invite him back in. The sloppy wet noises fill the car and drown out the engine. Your half lidded eyes bounce at Jeno’s unbothered figure and the entire scene seems absolutely unbelievable to you.
One hand on the wheel. The other knuckles deep in your pussy. Eyes focus on the road ahead. A comfortable man spread. His hair is messy from the long night.
It is all too unbelievable, that Jeno’s already giving you a second climax of the night when you could barely get one in a year before. And he loves touching you as much as he loves driving.
However, the guilty raises as fast as the ball of tension in your gut. You two pull up in front of your apartment building, while Jeno’s tugging his fingers against your flesh aggressively. In a split second, you hold onto his wrist to stop him.
He shifts into park when the car settles into a spot and peers over to you. A curious expression daunts onto him, rather concern that he might have been too much. “I’m starting to feel guilty.”
Jeno nods, and retrieves his fingers out of your dripping core. The feeling of emptiness causes all the built up pressure to dissipate.
“I understand,” he begins, but pauses at the sight of your sticky juices glistening on his fingers. Your eyes widen as he licks them clean, a soft moan escaping from the back of his throat.
The small action spikes your heart rate and you rub your legs together. With a pop! Jeno hums delightfully, “baby, you taste so good. I’m a little sad I won’t be tasting more, especially directly from the source.” His lustful eyes glance down at your thighs and back to your profile.
“I’ll walk you up to your apartment.” He says way too casually, unbuckling his seat belt. A mixture of emotions are running through your head. There is guilt, but lust is too powerful to ignore, especially when it’s Lee Jeno. The damage is already done, right? It’s not like it wasn’t moments ago that you humped him in the middle of a party.
“Wait,” your hands find themselves gripping onto his leather jacket tightly. Jeno gently reaches over to release your strong grip and replaces the leather with his hand.
“Yes, babygirl?” Jeno’s round, friendly eyes meet yours. The lust clouded darkness is no longer there. His hand feels hot and somewhat rough.
“I’m going to break up with my boyfriend, so promise me, you’re not going to dip out of my life afterwards… I don’t need you to be anything more than a friend. I just can’t lose you too.”
He turns around in his seat to face you comfortably. “I don’t think you’ve noticed, but I can’t stay away from you, let alone have the ability to leave you.” He reassures you with a soothing and calm tone. His thumb draws circles around your knuckles. “I’m always going to be your friend, whether or not I know how you taste.”
“Do you still want to try it … you know, from the source?” You shyly ask, an innocence embodying your gaze and voice cadence.
Jeno raises an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “I’d love to, only if you let me.”
Instantly, you shift to get on your lower back. Jeno watches as you excitedly position yourself open for him and actually finds your eagerness quite adorable. Your left leg bends behind the driver’s seat and your right rests on the dashboard.
He hooks his arms underneath your thighs to pull you forward towards him and your whole body slides against the leather. With a slow lift, your skirt reveals your drenched panties. Rolling them off and tossing them to the back seat, he lays eyes on your still dripping pussy. Jeno takes a second to admire your flower, this being his first time he’s seen such a private part of you.
“You’re beautiful, you know that right?” He chuckles deeply, before his tongue licks a long strip up to your clit. You exclaim out of the tingling pleasure that seized your insides.
He flattens his tongue against your bundle of nerves, flicking and circling. His finger enters your pussy again, curling up to rub at the same pace he is licking. The pure sight of Jeno’s head in between your legs is enough for butterflies to explode.
His sole motive is to make you feel good. There is nothing else in the world that he wants at this moment beside pleasure to overtake your body. Jeno eats you out like he hasn’t had a meal in months. His mouth wraps around your clit. The mixture of his flicks and sucks cause electric bolts to run down your legs.
You get more wet as Jeno pumps his finger in and out of your hole. Your juices are practically dripping onto the interior of the car, but Jeno doesn’t care.
He fucking loves it. He loves the taste of you lingering on his tongue. Your breathless moans. Your waterfall dripping on uncontrollably. The view of you unwinding because of him. Nothing can be more perfect.
Running your hands through his messy locks, you press him closer into you. A devilish smile draws on his face as he flicks his tongue side to side. “Oh, fuck! I’m.. so c--close.”
Your back arches upward into Jeno’s mouth, feeling his muscle lick harder and faster on your throbbing clit. He adds a second finger, and the simultaneous stimulation practically throws you into another dimension. The pleasure overtakes your entire lower half, your legs trembling from pure ecstasy as you approach your orgasm.
“Don’t stop, I’m going to---” Then, Jeno pulls away and shoves his tongue into your warmth. A gasp hits the air as he also continues to rub circles on your sensitive nerves. His tongue fucked your pussy incredibly skillfully and deliciously. With this switch, your legs violently shake and try clamping together.
However, his strength holds you wide and open for display. A low grunt follows suit as his dark eyes zone in on your contoured facial expressions. Then, the white light blind you once again and the ball of tension unravels itself on Jeno’s tongue. Squirming and screaming, your hips buck forward on their own.
It is close to being too catastrophic, this being the most intense orgasm you’ve had after a whole year. Nevertheless, the satisfaction is right on the tips of your toes and you greedily indulge in the euphoric moment. Jeno feels your walls squeeze around his muscle as he laps every last bit of you up.
He is absolutely addicted to your juices, making sure he catches every drop. Finally pulling away, he wipes the extra drip on the back of his hand. Jeno blinks at your raising chest and limp legs. Chuckling, his warm hand massages feeling back into your body.
“Do you want me to carry you back up?” His hoarse, raspy voice wakes you from your post orgasm daydream. You flutter your lashes at him fondly and happily nod at his offer.
Getting out of the car, Jeno walks over to the passenger side and your arms rest nicely around his neck. His palms support your butt, but also smoothing your skirt over to cover your decency. A poke against your outer thigh makes you realize that Jeno is strained against his jeans.
“I can take care of you too.” You pout cutely at Jeno, but he shakes his head.
“It’s not about me tonight. It’s about you.” Leaving a soft kiss on your cheek, his eyes turn into moon crescents from his lovable smile. The kind, friendliness makes an appearance again.
Or so you think! In a sheer second, Jeno’s deep voice rumbles your stomach and his hooded eyes pierce your soul, “next time though, I’m fucking you real good, babe.”
You hum in response. Saliva collects in your mouth, already looking forward to more of Jeno. But a chilly draft brushes up your exposed area as Jeno carries you up the flight of stairs.
“Wait, Jeno… I don’t have my underwear on.” The ‘Level 3’ sign is in view as Jeno turns to walk.
He only laughs and shrugs nonchalantly, “it’s better that way anyways.” Without another word, he continues upward to your floor and you playfully punch his solid chest. In all honesty, that’s not going to be the only time you leave behind your panties in his beloved car.
Your hatred for the notorious Ridin’ Club subside after such a wild night. If anything, you owe it all to your shitty ex-boyfriend for joining such a ridiculous club. Without him and the club’s existence, who knows if Lee Jeno would’ve still swerve into your lane.
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