#profiting off of creams success
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fuck it. moodboard for when you're fucking lgbt
#whatever#profiting off of creams success#one million gifs lagging my computer. read more at your own risk#i wasn't going to do it but cream told me to do the damn bigender flag and i couldn't say no so now we're here
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mastermind | d3
Description: Ms. L/N turns to Mrs. L/N. In which, you ponder where you've been - and where you are now.
Pairing: daniel ricciardo/singer!reader
yournameupdates: There's a lot to unpack with Y/N's new album. The consensus is 7 of the songs written are about her ex-boyfriend: Tom Hiddleston, while Style (ft. Taylor Swift) is about Harry Styles? What could be the reason for the L/N-Hiddleston breakup?
likes by danielricciardo, balana291, and 92,129 others
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danielricciardo: More interested to hear about the record-breaking awards she's going to earn after this.
- yournameupdates: She's definitely in for the records.
archianana29: I think it's because Hiddleston wants to seem like a bachelor?? Because of his new marvel film.
- wannna82: she's not any better, she's profiting off his success.
- - oceansdeap0: @wanna82 mind you, she came out of nowhere.
- - - wannna82: @oceansdeap0 exacto! publicity stunt?
yournamehiddleston: According to Y/N's newest single: All You Had To Do Was Stay. Tom Hiddleston was the first one who called things off - but after a few months of being alone, he wanted to get back with her. Hence her explaination. All he had to do was stay :(
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f1multistan: Daniel is everywhere these days
- watchasay8: Who?
- - f1multistan: the f1 racer
hesaysme129: 'YOU WERE ALL I WANTED' it's over I think.
yn1989era: I love how it's her first album and she already has 1000m fans 😭
- katyandyn: Teenage Dream and 1989 are no skip albums
Daniel Ricciardo couldn't believe that he was invited to attend the Grammys. It wasn't like he did anything groundbreaking in the realm of the music industry - but thanks to his amazing management - he was finally there. Normally, he hated award shows because of the cameras that were shoved in his face.
But he couldn't find himself hating this award show.
His favorite singer, Y/N L/N, was going to be in the same table as him. He crossed his fingers - maybe even beside him?
"God, I'm so sorry for being late. There was a mile long traffic back there," you ran to embrace Beyonce, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek as you settled in your seat. Daniel began to realize that he was extremely lucky to be seating where he was.
"Daniel Ricciardo, right?" you smiled at him with those pensive E/C eyes - pulling him back into reality. "Yes, I'm a big fan." he shook your hand, feeling those soft palms press against his.
If this was a dream, he didn't want to wake up.
"Is it your first time in the Grammys?" you inquired, gently fiddling with the hems of your dress. "Yeah," he scratched the back of his head - oblivious to the cameras that were planted on the both of you. "It's nice to have someone to relate to," you chuckled as it was also your first time. "I heard that award shows could get pretty boring," you consulted in him.
Daniel felt so fucking special in that moment.
You were sitting beside Beyonce, but chose to speak to him. Fuck, does that mean that he was better than Beyonce? Nope, that's blasphemy - but still, it was flattering to think that you'd choose him.
"Tell me when you get bored, there's an ice-cream place just around the corner. We could grab a few bites." he offered - taking a leap of fate. "Sounds like a plan," you smiled and he could feel the crimson blush creep up his cheeks.
✧✧✧
This was something that he'd never forget. He couldn't wait to return to the paddocks and tell Sebastian that he had ice cream with THE Y/N L/N. "Is strawberry your favorite?" he asked, seeing you gobble down the large sized roll. "Yep, I put it in everything." you smiled.
It's been a month since you last tasted strawberry ice cream - you almost forgot how good it tasted. "I'm having a lot of fun, Dan." you complimented - seeing that the tip of his nose was coated with a chocolate syrup. "Darling, there's a little something -" you motioned.
He almost forgot how to move after hearing you call him that.
He flashed you his toothy grinned smile, before wiping the syrup off his nose. "So uhh, I'd like to get your number - so we can hang out another time." you asked, staring deep into his eyes.
Daniel realized that this was the chance of a lifetime. He almost reached for his phone to give you his number - but then he realized. He left his phone at home and he didn't memorize his number.
So instead of giving you his number - he came up with something that he'd regret until the day he died - or until the day he met you again. "No." he answered with confidence. "What?" your eyes narrowed, and he smiled again.
"I'll ask for your number the next time that I see you. To check if fate is really on our side." he explained and you could only smile back.
yournameupdates: Y/N L/N and Richard Madden are confirmed to be dating! Congratulations, she's finally found her Prince Charming.
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theyn_ln: He's certainly a Prince Charming! LOL
- yournameupdates: 🥺
hennalova9: THEY LOOK SO PERFECT TOGETHER I'M SO HAPPY THAT SHE MOVED ON 😭
heysistersoul23: THIS IS ENDGAME
danielricciardo: You didn't hear it from me folks, but @theyn_ln is releasing a song tonight. 😉
liked by theyn_ln, maddenrichard and 1,291,192 others
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theyn_ln: Well, I rarely break promises.
maddenrichard: 🔥
formulalover91: DANIEL AND Y/N? THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
theyn_ln: Message in a Bottle MV will be released MIDNIGHT EST. @danielricciardo I always believed in you.
liked by danielricciardo and 1,290,120 likes
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danielricciardo: meetup when?
maddenrichard: I'm very proud of you
- theyn_ln: thank you mi amor ❤️
yournameupdates: According to some insiders, Richard Madden proposed to Lilly James this March 4, 2017. But where does that leave Y/N? We demand an explaination. @maddenrichard
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theyn_ln: I honestly don't know what's happening right now. Please give me space luv ❤️
- yournameupdates: Yes ma'am
thisloveis1989: The way that she saw a future with him and he threw it away. 1 YEAR TOGETHER AND HE THREW IT AWAY?
thismyrealspace9: the album finna hit
theyn_ln: You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson.
💜 Foolish One and Better Man out MIDNIGHT EST.
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danielricciardo: The songs will be beautiful, but I hope that you're OK.
- theyn_ln: Getting there!
taylorynkatyuniverse: FOOLISH ONE HURTS! BETTER MAN HURTS EVEN MORE 😭
icedamericano4: I see the permanent damage you did to me. RICHARD MADDEN YOU ARE PUBLIC ENEMY #1.
Daniel couldn't believe his fucking eyes. It was you.
"Y/N." his eyebrows softened, seeing the familiar posture. "Dan," you turned to look at him - inviting him with a warm embrace. "It's been 5 years since we've last seen each other," you buried your face in his shoulders, inhaling his scent of vanilla and chocolate.
"I thought I lost you for a second," he chuckled, completely forgetting about the drivers that were waiting for him back in the yacht. "Maybe this time you'll finally give me your number," you suggested and a nervous chuckle left his lips. "I'll be honest with you," he began.
"- I totally forgot my phone back at home the first time you asked me." he confessed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and offering it to you. "But I'm not letting you go this time." he smiled.
(2021)
theyn_ln: 7 years overdue, but here she is. My 2nd studio album 'folklore' will be out on September 23. Pre-order is available. You can also order @danielricciardo 's merch while you're at it hehe.
liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 2,192,190 others
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danielricciardo: The album is 10000/10
- theyn_ln: glad to have ur opinion
carlossainz55: Are we invited to the listening party?
- danielricciardo: Already happened buddy, the invitation must've gotten lost in the mail. 😭
maxverstappen1: 💜
theyn_ln: Officially Mrs. L/N-Ricciardo. 💍
liked by danielricciardo and 3,129,102 likes
comments have been restricted.
danielricciardo: Mr. L/N-Ricciardo is officially my job title.
liked by maxverstappen1 and 1,291,092 others
comments have been restricted.
@lpab07 @ietss @shouq @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan
#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#daniel ricciardo x y/n#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo#daniel ricciardo instagram au#daniel ricciardo imagine#daniel ricciardo au#f1 instagram au#f1 imagine#tom hiddleston x reader
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For the hc thing
Secondo is a ginger. I'm a strong believer in this. I think hes gone to lengths that are hilarious and embarrassing to hide the fact hes a ginger because he thinks no one would take him seriously
Do with this what you will
Haha I always thought of him as someone with very limp, straight black hair. When he was young it hung lamely down to just touch his shoulders. Whether he has black hair or reddish hair it started falling out really quickly.
Secondo started to lose his hair around 18 years old. His maternal grandfather was as bald as a billiard ball, so it was only a matter of time. From a young age he was brought up to be a perfect specimen of a sibling of sin, so this revelation that he was disintegrating one hair follicle at a time privately troubled him.
He would solve the problem, of course. He was a magician after all, and with enough willpower anything is possible. He was also naive and sheltered as hell, so he was of course bound for a lot of grief and a new feeling for him: failure.
He started off with visualisations, mantras. Sound Mind, sound body, right? As above, so below, as within, so without. He create elaborate rituals, chants to do each morning to "Restore him to his True Self for the Good of All and the Harm of None." If the philosopher's stone was designed to cure thinning hair he would have gone to the ends of the earth to find it.
But every day the random loose hair across the pillow never ceased.
Fine. He would get witchy with it now with some salves of herbs and oils carefully chosen for their energetic properties. He would sneak around and steal herbs from the Ministry gardens, and was caught several times by an exasperated Primo. (Now BOTH Primo's brothers were sneaking around and being shady. And Nihil pulled him aside once and asked him to tell Secondo that he absolutely stunk now.)
Before then he was never interested in any sort of relationship, and stinking of a magickally balanced but rancid smelling concoctions didn't help matters either. His anxiety about his appearance only drew him deeper into himself and into solving the problem in any way he could. He didn't want anyone's help and he didn't want to ever show his sweat.
If he was ever going to step into his destiny of Papa Emeritus he needed to be a stable, virile force of inpenetrable Will.
There was a good eighteen months of struggles which included creative ways to comb the remaining hair across bald patches. One morning, tired and burned out, he stared dead-eyed into the mirror of the communal washroom at his miserable visage.
A passage floated into his mind, a passage from a book he had been cross-referencing for a recent dissertation:
Matthew 5:30-And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
He watched himself grab a razor and shaving cream. It felt like an out of body experience as he saw the chunks of hair fall into the sink, the smooth skin of the top of his head finally out in the open.
Almost immediately afterward he panicked, but a sense of power grew in him. No longer was the energy of his Will diverted into worrying about the inevitable. He felt changed, burned away and reborn.
In the years after he gained even more success and finally stepped into the powerful virile role he was born to play.
And that's how dark sexy confident charisma monsters are made, ghesties
Thanks for the request, this was fun.
#ghost fandom#ao3 author#the band ghost#ghost tumblr#the band ghost headcanons#ghost scenes from the void#anamelessfool writes#papa emeritus ii#headcanon requests#secondo headcanons
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Conspiracy theories | U. Wakatoshi x F!reader
Warnings: Time-skip spoilers, mentions of drinking, cursing, medicine⚠️
An: repost from my wattpad
Female reader.
Wc: 1,202
Wakatoshi called you to ask you if it was alright if he got a few drinks with some teammates after practice, they kept nagging him about how he rarely hung out with them outside of volleyball.
You of course told him that it was okay, and that he wasn't a child who needed to ask you for permission, but even with your protests, he still would ask you if it'd be alright.
A few drinks were most definitely not just a few drinks, he was brought back hammered. Apparently Hoshiumi was able to convince him to let loose and drink more than he normally would—which is almost nothing.
He's not a big drinker, but it was nice to see that he had fun with his friends. Apologies were said by his team captain and Kageyama who had to basically carry Wakatoshi, leaving you with his still drunken state.
Luckily they brought him in on the couch so you wouldn't have much trouble, you said your goodnights and they left in their uber.
"'Toshi? Love, are you okay?" You slightly giggle, he was staring at you with a small smile, rosy cheeks and all. You're sure he'll pay the consequences tomorrow with his hangover.
"M okay." He nods, "You look pretty." The alcohol lessening his blunt self, which was not much. Your simply dressed in one of his large t-shirts and shorts, it's what you sleep in and he's almost positive you get prettier everyday.
"How much did you drink?" You ask, trying to get him to comply with you and move upstairs—that is if he can even walk. You're tugging on his hand to bring him up, which he's able to do.
He unintentionally ignored your question as he was trying his best to not put all his weight on you and to stay least walk somewhat straight. Getting him into bed was a success, he was able to undress into more comfortable clothes. You're sure you don't want to try and get him to shower, he mentioned how dizzy he was when he stood up.
"I'll be right back." You lower the volume of your voice in case his head was beginning to hurt. You came back into the room with a tall, refreshing glass of water, he took a few long sips, knowing he needed to sober up.
"Did you have fun?" You kiss his forehead, pushing back his hair as he gets comfy in bed. You've seen him drunk a few times in your life, but this is probably the most hammered you've ever seen him.
"I did, it was nice. 'M not sure I'd like to go out drinking again." He frowns a little.
"Why is that?" You hum, bringing your laptop to your lap to quickly finish your email. He scoots over to lay his head on you, silently thanking you as you lowered the brightness to ease his eyes.
"Not a big fan of drinking." He simply says, clinging onto you, his skin was warm against your cool arm, he was glad the window was open so he wouldn't be sweating his ass off. You nod and continue to type, telling him you were almost done, then you could head to bed.
Randomly, he says, "Do you think the moon landing was fake?" You pause and glance down at him, his eyes were open, his lips forming a thin line, he was thinking real hard about this.
"Wakatoshi, what?" You laugh. Asking him to repeat what he said to make sure you weren't hearing things.
"Or what if shaving cream has stuff in it to make your hair grow faster, that way you're buying more, profiting those companies." He says this all with a straight face. "It's good marketing."
"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't drink this much, love." You chuckle, running your hands through his hair, he moves so his head is on the pillow, facing you.
"I'm serious. Or what about chapstick putting small, microscopic pieces of glass inside the balm so when you put it on it slightly cuts your lips to make them chapped and you're having to buy more and more chapstick." He finishes his rant by letting out a long sigh.
"Did you share these with the guys?" You asked, wondering where the hell he learned these things, this sounds like something Kageyama would seriously believe, or maybe Hoshiumi told these to your husband to cause some laughs, you know he gets a kick out of it.
"They were all talking about it and it got me thinking." He answers.
"Well at least you're over your flat earth phase." You sigh. "I think it's time for bed, yeah?"
"I want to keep talking to you. I barely saw you today." He frowns. "I missed you, a lot." He goes to close your laptop, and carry it over to the nightstand, concluding that you were finished to pay attention to him now.
"I missed you too." You laugh. "I can't wait until you're sober, let's see if you still agree with these conspiracy theories."
"Don't they make sense, love? I mean, we all know they just want money."
"Hush or else the government spying on us through our phone will hear." You egged him on further.
"I don't believe that one, give me a better one. And cuddle closer." He pulls on your arm, he became much more clingy than normal, but this wasn't something drink Wakatoshi only did, he always did this.
"Hmm, let me think. But first you have to brush your teeth and I need to turn the lights off." He nods and chugs the rest of his water down, going to use the bathroom and brush his teeth. He was back in a matter of minutes.
"I'm ready now." He says and lifts the covers, you turned the last lamp off and turned to face him.
"What about chucky cheese reusing pizza slices from unfinished plates to make them faster without having to just waste them and start over." You've seen this one on tiktoks and from the videos, it seems promising.
"I like that one." He hums and closes his eyes, slowly dozing off. He was fighting off the sleep, wanting to speak to you more. "'Nother one."
"I think it's time for bed, sleepy head. We can talk more in the morning. I'm not going anywhere, okay?" You attempted to get him to sleep again.
He groans as he slowly opens his eyes and pulls you straight to his chest, moving his head to the crook of your neck, already feeling himself become more sober by the second and more aware of the hangover he's about to be hit with.
"Would you like some painkillers?" You ask, playing with the strands in his hair, noticing how your little movement gave him slight discomfort. He immediately nods and tells you to be quick.
As soon as he gulps down the pill he's out like a light. Sleeping with his strong arms around you, it became almost impossible to move, but you made it work. You'd have some very interesting stories to tell your friends and family.
*do not steal or plagiarize.
#fluff#haikyuu#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x you#haikyuu!!#writing#haikyuu x self insert#ushijima fluff#ushijima x reader#haikyuu ushijima#ushijima x you#wakatoshi x you#wakatoshi x y/n#hq wakatoshi#wakatoshiushijima#ushijima wakatoshi#haikyuu wakatoshi#hq hcs#hq x reader#hq fluff
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We know about Marcelo Goldenfoot, but who are some other wealthy monsters in Ebbott? How'd they get their fortune and how influencial are they?
Ohoho I actually had a few characters in mind I wanted to name drop a while ago~
Dogfellow: Dogfellow, a beagle like dog monster from lustfell, is a very successful investor. His main focus is businesses catering to canine type monsters and other furry monster subspecies, and ice cream businesses for some reason. He doesn’t even like ice cream, but hey it sells! Like many other lustfell big wigs, he has multiple mates, four to be exact, and has five children with them all. He fathered each child, something he loves to brag about. Dogfellow considers Marcelo goldenfoot his greatest enemy after the bunny dared to insinuate that his bunny daughter was cuter than Dogfellows German Shepard dog daughter. He’s worth nearly 200 million G
Bea Elvis: bea is a simply adorable whimsum from dancetale. She’s got an incredible movement to her, a very graceful dancer, and a brilliant mind. Bea invented a type of cgi that can mimic some of the more serpentine or tentacle like monsters movements better than other programs can. She patented her code and sold it off for a hefty profit and nowadays spends her time appearing on game shows for fun. She’s worth 4 million G. She’s also secretly married to napstablook
Mauve chiffons: mauve is a spunky shrew mouseling from farmswap who made her fortune selling insurance to farmers that covers bad crop years and broken equipment. She’s a wonderful example of simple honest work. Just a stand up gal. And her business employs many. She’s worth about 12 million G. Mauve has no relation to the farmswap boys, but does love their families beer.
Jonny Swartz: Jonny is a crocodile monster from underfell, and is a classic redemption story. Having been pardoned from a life sentence for theft and attempted murder in underfell after the crash, Jonny decided he was going to do everything he can to take advantage of this clean slate. So he made the AEP (apprenticeship employment placement), a company designed to take your application and find any available jobs or apprenticeships near you for the job you want. And they don’t accept payment until you get your first paycheck. There wasn’t anything like this in ebott until Jonny started it. Anyways he’s worth about 10 million G (but that might go down soon since he got caught in another murder)
Juliet mars: she’s a taller than average air elemental from outertale. Before the crash, she developed a special type of greenhouse that grew the few crops they had in space even better than the natural elements could. Her design now has been converted into what ebott uses for their AC and heating systems in buildings all over as it’s low cost to make and saves power. She was also a mentor to Pluto when he was still and apprentice back in their old au. He refers to her as aunty mars. Juliet is worth about 45 million G.
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Cookies'n Cream - Chapter 18
Last chapter / MasterList / art by @aneenasevla
Chapter 18 - Curiosity Killed the Gorilla
"... Aaand it's sent! Now we just wait for the likes, shares and comments about how lucky I am for the company."
"My God, you really want me to kiss you here in the middle of the street, don't you? Because that's what it looks like," Tomori jokes, giving him a playful push, to which Okubo laughs. The push didn't even make him move, but it was enough of an excuse for him to place a hand on her back and leave it there, in a discreet caress. He shows her the cracked phone screen.
"Save it for when the likes start to come, lady. Then I'll feel like I've earned it," He winks, supporting her as they get off the train to the crowded station. "But there's something you can do for me right now."
"What?"
"Hold my hand so I don't lose sight of you in the middle of this crowd. You're so short that I fear you'll be swallowed by this sea of people and I'll never see you again..."
"You clown," She pats the hand he offered her. "In that case, take advantage of your privileged view and guide us out of this crowd. And tell me how the weather is there among the clouds, while you're at it. Any sign of rain?"
"Nope! Clear sky, few clouds, the first stars appearing along with the soft and pleasant tones of twilight," He looks up as they leave the station. "Perfect weather for a walk to your neighborhood. It's the first time I've followed you home on foot, now that I'm thinking about it..."
“It's a good walk until there. It's sort of part of my weekly workout, in addition to the weightlifting sessions I do at home."
“I'd love to attend a session like that one of these days,” he comments, smiling at the thought. He could give her tips, do demonstrations, tell funny experiences he had in gyms... and of course, seeing her wearing a sports bra and leggings would be a nice bonus. "I'm not exactly a trainer, but I know enough to give you some directions, if you like."
"Oh, would you look at this…," She turns her head to the side at him, smiling playfully. "First he offers to help me with baseball batting, and then to give me tips on working out. I'm starting to think this is a very well thought out scheme of yours to start a career in coaching, with me being your first attempt."
"It wouldn't be a very profitable scheme, considering that I don't charge anything more than a few kisses and a few hours in your company," He joins in the joke. "It's just that I can't get enough of how much we have in common. It makes me want to keep trying to figure out if there's something I like that you don't, and vice versa."
"Well, just ask! We've been asking questions about each other's lives, all these times we've gone out together, afterall," She smiles and, this time, she's the one who offers him her hand. "And now the opportunity is perfect, because we're going to my house. A well-reserved, non-public place, where there aren't a bunch of voices around to disturb our conversation..."
... Okay, when she put it like that, it was even easier for him to understand the size of the step they were taking.
They had gone out together a few more times after their successful second date that resulted in their first kiss, and to various other places besides the batting cages at the sports center: a walk around Shibuya, two trips to the movies, a walk through Ueno Park with riding pedal boats and even going to a maid cafe, just for the pleasure of their inside joke. All these encounters ended the same way as the original: him leaving her at the door of her house, but not before exchanging some heated kisses, which were getting longer and longer, neither wanting to say good night and goodbye. None of these times did she invite him into her home.
But now that seemed about to change, and he felt a strange rush of anxiety overwhelm him at the thought. A mixture of want and a slight fear of what that could mean for the two of them. I mean, calling your current date to your house was a lot more serious than suggesting they go get some love in a motel, wasn't it?
He wonders, rather involuntarily, if she would like him to invite her to his apartment too, in the near future. Holy shit, he'd have to give the place a good sweep before that happened, he wouldn't know where to hide his face if she saw the mess that was his place...
"Naoya...?"
He is unceremoniously roused from his reverie by her voice, calling to him with some concern. She was looking at him with one eyebrow arched, her hand still outstretched, fingers opening and closing slightly.
"Is everything okay? You looked worried all of a sudden... ooh, is it the hands?," She moved her arm away, embarrassed. "Sorry, you don't have to feel obligated to do that if you don't want to-"
"I do!," He hurries to answer, his voice a little louder than necessary, extending his hand to hold hers and prevent it from getting out of his reach. "Sorry, I started to think about some things here and got distracted..."
"Do you want to share them with me? Or would you rather keep your schemes on how to make me this generation's next model athlete a secret?"
"I would keep them secret from the public and the press, never from you, hahaha. But no, seriously... I...," He looks to the side, feeling his palms sweat. "Is this really okay? Me, going to your house...?"
"Of course it is! Why wouldn't it be?," She asks, smiling gently as if to reassure him. "I didn't invite you the other times only because we always came back a little late from dates. But now it's not even seven o'clock. It's still too early for us to say goodbye..."
He would've rocketed up if that had been humanly possible, joy making his feet light and even dancing.
"I agree! It's just that I would've brought something if I'd known. A souvenir, as the custom demands..."
"You already gave me too many souvenirs, hahaha! Enough flowers for me to open my own flower shop, remember?," She jokes, lightly hitting the side of her hip on his thigh, which was what she could reach from that height. "Now I'm the one who wants to reciprocate. What do you think about eating a savory dish of mine for a change?"
"Wow, I'm in! I mean, I've already eaten sandwiches made by you at the bakery, but not a real dinner," He smiles openly, and unconsciously puts a hand on his belly. "Just thinking about it makes me hungry, damn it..."
“And after you tell me that, do you really expect me to let you go willingly? A cook's life's mission is to feed others, especially those she cares about!," She raises a fist with determination, and he chuckles softly.
"You sound like Sanji from One Piece when you talk like that, hahaha! Who's your favorite Straw Hat?," He asks excitedly, but this excitement wanes a little before the slightly embarrassed smile she opens.
"Uh… Chopper, I guess…? I don't know, I haven't watched One Piece since highschool..."
"Oh, I see… sorry, it's just that I'm such a nerd…," He scratches the back of his head, now just as embarrassed. "The girls I've gone out with were always bored with my conversations. I end up forgetting that this is not really your thing..."
"Hey, you're stereotyping again," She points at him with an indignant pout. "I'm not really into manga and anime, but it's not because I'm a woman. Kanny herself loves One Piece, you know?"
"Really? Damn, I'd like chatting with her about it if she wasn't hating me right now..."
"You can chat about it with me. It's not because I'm not a fan that I wouldn't want to hear you talking about your interests," She squeezes his hand to reassure him. "Seriously, we don't need to have absolutely everything in common. It's actually good that we don't, so we discover new things that we might like."
"Heh… you're right," He intertwines his fingers with hers, smiling again, now more relieved. "And I tell you the same, okay? You can talk to me about the things you like, not just martial arts and baseball."
"Heh, I hope you don't get bored..."
“You'll be amazed at how open-minded I can be. Let's have a chat about women's interests. For example, if you prefer to get a Helsa skirt or Swarovski crystal earrings..."
"Hell no, forget about it! I'm serious, don't laugh! Ugh, you big meathead...!," She punches him in the arm, to which he throws his head back with a thunderous laugh. "I think I'd rather get a box of those chocolates again than that..."
"Noted! I'll bring one with at least half a kilo of chocolate next time...just kidding!," He exclaims when she gives him a threatening look. "But seriously, I promise I'll listen to you when you want to talk about your interests too. I'm really curious now..."
"We can talk better over dinner. It'll take a little while to be rady, but we can do other things while we wait. You've never seen the inside of my house, for example," She comments, a little thoughtful. "It's kinda funny to think that Rihito has been there, but you haven't."
"Yeah, he made a point of throwing that in my face a few weeks ago," Okubo snorts grumpily. And he arches an eyebrow when she sees Tomori getting suddenly tense . "What is it?"
“Did he… tell you about my interior decorating choices?”
"Uh… if you're talking about the posters in the living room, he did tell me," He nods after thinking a bit. "But I'm not someone to dictate how you should decorate your house, Tomori. And again, I don't judge your tastes... if you promise not to judge my Ultraman posters if you visit my apartment one day, haha."
"I won't, I promise," She laughs, a little calmer. And then thinks better about what he said, blushing a little. "But would you do that? Invite me to your apartment, I mean..."
"Sure, why not? It's only fair," He nods excitedly. "Then I can show you my trophy room, my reading room, my consoles... I just think we'd have to order a pizza at dinner time, because my fridge has seen fuller days , haha ha!"
"I'm starting to think that the questionable diet of single men isn't necessarily an unfounded stereotype," She jokes, and then points, "Oh, we're already around the corner! I think that was the fastest walk I've ever taken from the station to here..."
"Yeah, I didn't even notice the path I took either," He comments, a little surprised. It was amazing how time seemed to fly by when he was with Tomori. He would've moaned about it in another situation, but not now. They didn't have to say goodbye on her doorstep. They would still have many hours together from now on.
"Hopefully, we'll have all night."
The thought filled him with a rush to get to her house, and he tried to contain it. Why bother if the night has already been won? And any extra time with her was a win, whatever they were doing.
They are soon through the automatic gates, stepping onto the stone path that leads to the porch. The overhead light came on, and she smiled at him.
"Before we go inside, I want to start our little ritual."
He blinks, confused. "Ritual? What ritual-"
She interrupts him by raising her right hand, hooking her fingers in the fabric of his shirt, and making him duck with a small tug. Their mouths meet, and soon Okubo's initial astonishment is replaced by an almost euphoric satisfaction. Hell, in what universe would he deny her a kiss? He reciprocates promptly, one hand automatically going to her back as hers rest on his shoulders. Soon the contact gets a little more intense, and he finds himself pulling her off the ground with a hug. She holds on to him more firmly so she doesn't lose her balance, asking for more by touching his lips with her tongue, and he obliges with an enthusiasm that made her chuckle softly.
Damn, seeing his excitement being so well received did lots of good to his self-esteem, as well as his libido. And if that meant that she wanted it as much as he did... dammit, then the dessert that came after that dinner would be the best he'd ever tasted!
They finally pull away when the need for oxygen becomes impossible to ignore, panting softly and looking into each other's eyes. He puts her down slowly, and she gives him one last peck before smiling at him.
"Just for luck..."
"Believe me, I'm feeling very lucky right now," He jokes, his voice husky. "Best ritual I've ever done. I think it's good that we always do this from now on, so that luck never ends."
“Never wasting time, not in the octagons or out of them.” She laughs softly, squeezing his hand one last time before digging through her purse for something. She takes out the keys and unlocks the door, leaving it open for him to enter right behind her. "Leave your shoes by the door, please."
"Alright," He nods, muttering an 'excuse me' and giving a quick bow before taking off his shoes and entering, having to bend down a little to do it. He busies himself with observing his surroundings while Tomori leaves her purse in the coat rack next to the door.
After walking down a long corridor, they arrive in the small living room of what was the interior of a typical middle-class residence, with enough space to accommodate a couple without children or a small family. For a single woman who lived on her own, that should be more than enough, he supposed. It was in a slightly more western style, which was common in Tokyo's newer residential areas. Two sofas, one small and one medium, with a tea table in the center on a cream-colored rug, and against the wall, a television on a wooden cabinet. In the center of the table was a vase, and inside it, the daisies, gerberas and gladioli that he had given her a few days ago; seeing that she was taking care of the flowers made him immensely happy.
Separated from the living room by a counter was the kitchen, also small but looking professionally equipped; nothing more than expected for a chef. The dining table was also small, but that would only make the diner even more intimate. He saw other vases with more flowers there, adding color to the room. The stairs in the corner must lead to the upper floor where the bedrooms and bathroom were.
In general, it would be an absolutely normal residence if it weren't for one detail: the posters of different sizes on the walls, some glued, others framed like photographs. They were all from fighters he either knew personally or had seen in action on television or the internet. Sekibayashi's was one of those privileged enough to be framed, as was Gaolang's. The twinge of jealousy that hit him was short-lived, however; it was enough time for him to notice his own poster, also framed, striking a victorious pose while displaying the championship belt around his waist.
"Uh... so...?," Tomori suddenly asks, arms crossed, seeming to want to look at everything but him. "I know it's a bit exaggerated and that it looks more like a teenager's bedroom than the living room of an grown woman's house..."
"I haven't seen too many teenage bedrooms or too many grown women's living rooms to make a comparison," He jokes, scratching the back of his head with a low chuckle. "Honestly? From what Rihito said, I was expecting something much more 'hall of fame-ish', if you know what I mean, hahaha!"
"If my living room was something of that level, I'd have to charge you visitation," She jokes too, smiling sheepishly. "So… you don't mind?"
"It's not like I have the right to, come on," He shrugs calmly. "Again, it's your house, Tomori. And honestly, there are fewer posters than I was expecting."
This ends up making her laugh, her shoulders shaking. "What? Were you expecting to see my living room walls completely covered in posters, to the point where you couldn't even see their colors?"
"Hey, hey, my informant was Rihito, and you've met enough of him to know how he's always adding tails to his tales," He justifies himself, and it's his turn to be embarrassed. "No, seriously, your place's nice. Tidier than mine, that's for sure. And you have good taste in idols, no denying," He points to his own poster, arching an eyebrow. "Who's the hunk over there? Do I need to see him as a rival for your affections or something?"
She laughs out loud this time, even though she's still blushing. "Nah, no need to! Not anymore, anyway," She looks at the poster, her eyes softening. "He used to be an idea I had in my head, you know. The idea of someone who would be a source of admiration and inspiration personified, like Seki, Gaolang and many others. Someone far above, out of my reach. But what I'm seeing in front of me now...," She looks at him over her shoulder. "This someone is someone I can laugh with, joke with and talk to, someone I can touch, hug and kiss... so I prefer him much, much more."
Okubo can only stare at her, dumbfounded, his plans to make fun of her over her former idolization of him going down the drain in a way he couldn't have foreseen. Again, she left him speechless without even trying very hard to.
That was probably one of the things that would never change about their relationship, no matter how deep it got. And after that, he wanted anything but that to change.
He moves before he knows it, and Tomori gasps as he takes her in his arms, lifting her off the ground again to reach her mouth, in a kiss even more intense than the one they exchanged on the porch. She hugs him around the neck to steady herself, reciprocating with a low, long sigh, and Okubo shudders as she wraps her legs around his waist. He automatically holds her tighter, not wanting to move an inch away from her.
Holy shit… if it continued at this rate, they'd end up skipping dinner. He blamed that adorable creature who could wrap a grown man almost twice her size around her little finger for that. He wanted so badly to take her to the bedroom, or who knows, to lay her down on that couch and give her the treatment she deserved...
“Not with all these posters around staring at you, dipshit!”
Shit, the posters… he suddenly felt very aware of the dead stares of the fighters depicted on the walls, especially those he knew on a personal level. It was ridiculous, but it seemed to be the same principle as a religious person refusing to do something sinful in front of a representation of the deity they worshiped. As if Sekibayashi, Gaolang and all the others were watching his performance and judging him.
And with that thought, his excitement died pretty quickly. Hey, maybe he had found the ideal method to get rid of morning wood!
"Hnnn...," He murmurs low against her lips, giving it one last lick before pulling his face away to breathe. "And he's also enjoying doing all these things with you. He wants to do so much more. And he's feeling really stupid for talking about himself in third person."
Tomori laughs, leaning her forehead against his. "I think that's cute of him… okay, okay, I'll stop," She promises when he huffs. "But seriously, I had imagined that you'd be uncomfortable seeing your own face on my living room wall. Maybe I shouldn't have hung the poster up there again..."
"Then I would be offended that there is no tribute to me on the living room walls of my number one fan!," He snorts, but his tone remains playful. "I'm used to seeing my own face on television, on magazine covers and on the street screens in Shibuya. But… this one's definitely not one of my best angles,” He scowls at the poster.
"Why not? This is the portrait of the moment when you were enshrined as the first Japanese to become Ultimate Fight's heavyweight champion! It's glorious," She snaps back in mock outrage, whereupon he sets her down to place his hands on his hips.
"Yeah, but not in this picture! Look how the light hits my head," He points. "The sweat makes it look like a disco ball... yeah, laugh at the bald man, very empathetic of you," He snorts as he watches her bend over herself a bit, wiping a tear of laughter from one eye.
"S-Sorry, but it's hard to empathize with someone who is bald by choice. And anyway, that's your opinion. I really like this poster and I think you look great in it," She pats the frame, smiling excitedly. "It's the result of all the sweat and tears you've shed to get to where you are, a slap in the face to all who doubted you, an irrefutable proof of how right you were when you said that the defeatism of the Japanese martial arts leagues was nothing more than underdog syndrome, excuses from those who talk a lot and do little!"
Okubo can't resist, laughing happily. "Damn, I've missed those passionate speeches of yours about me, hahaha! But seriously, it's really nice to see someone who positively interpreted the crap I said in that documentary..."
"It wasn't crap! ... Okay, maybe that final jab of yours was unnecessary," She admits after thinking a little. "It was by far what made people be mad at you the most in those days."
"Yeah, it's kinda unforgettable when cancel culture bites you in the butt fot the first time, hehehe!"
"And he even takes pride in it, my god…," She laughs along with him. "But in general, I agreed with everything you said in that documentary. In fact...," She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, suddenly shy. "It was after watching it that I found the motivation to change my life."
Okubo stops smiling, surprise and curiosity taking over his features. "Change your life…? Oh, are you talking about your delinquent phase?"
"Well, yes, in a way... oh, but if we were to talk about it now, we'd going to be here in the living room all night and dinner would never get ready!," She suddenly claps her hands together, rubbing them afterwards. "We can talk better while we eat, how about that?"
“Uh… sure, that's fine with me.” He nods, taken aback, but dammit, how could he refuse food when she was the one offering it? "Want some help? I'm no chef like you, but I can cut and wash some vegetables, I don't know."
"Well, since you're offering...," She nods, smiling "Just wash your hands first, please. The bathroom is upstairs."
"Yes ma'am!," He salutes, eliciting an affectionate eye roll from her before she turns and heads for the kitchen. He climbs the stairs to the upper floor, which consisted of a long corridor, with two doors on the left and one on the right.
Now... which of the three was the entrance to the bathroom? Damn, she hadn't told him which door was the right one. Maybe it was the first... but for who's going up the stairs or for who's going down? And why was he making a fuss about something so stupid?!
"You're afraid of accidentally walking into her room... which is pretty stupid considering your night will end there."
The thought lifted his confidence a little. Heck, if he missed the door on the first try, he could just close it and try again. He does so, choosing the lone door on the right.
It wasn't the bathroom, but it didn't look like a bedroom either, as there wasn't a bed in there. In the dim light from the hallway, he thought for a second that it was a spare room being used as a storage room. There were boxes stacked in a corner, rectangular white objects propped against them. They looked like... canvases?
Okubo couldn't help his curiosity and groped along the wall until he found a switch. The room lit up, and he found himself in front of what looked like a small crafts room. At least that's what he assumed when he saw himself in front of the painted canvases propped up in the boxes, the small shelf partially filled with colored pencils, graphite, brushes and a few paint pots, a desk with piles of papers full of doodles and a easel, right in the center of the room.
And there were pictures too. Not wall posters of fighters this time, but framed photographs, attached to a magnetic photo board or in frames that filled the other half of the shelf. Many were from people he had never seen before, but who bore enough resemblance to Tomori that he assumed they were her family: an older couple, who must’ve been her parents, and a younger man accompanied by a woman of the same age; probably her brother and sister-in-law.
But his interest was entirely focused on the photos where she appeared, especially the older ones. There he found familiar faces: Tomori with Kanami and Hiro, the three of them looking like they were in their teens (holy shit, was it just him or did Kanami used to be chubby when she was younger? Those extra pounds definitely weren't the muscles he saw). They appeared in a lot of those photos, at the most varied times. And in many of them, there was another girl with them, with tanned skin and curly, dyed blonde hair. She appeared with only Tomori in several photos, one of which depicted both of them wearing school uniforms.
And what captured his curiosity the most about these older photos was that in almost all of them, Tomori's hair wasn't wavy and brown, but straight and black. So that current hue and texture was unnatural? Damn, he'd never have guessed just by looking...
Just as he never would've guessed that she was an amateur artist. He didn't explore the room more and peek at her work only because it would be tremendously impolite. But he might ask when he returned downstairs. He turns off the light and closes the door slowly, not sure if he feels more guilty for snooping or curious about what he's seen.
He tries the first door on the left this time, and luckily it was a bathroom; a room with three sections, consisting of the tiny laundry room, the toilet and sink area, and the shower and bath area, all separated by thin walls. The bathtub seemed small, and he found himself thinking sadly that it would be next to impossible for the two of them to be able to bathe together there. Well, the bathtub in his apartment was big enough for both of them, so that was all the more reason for him to invite her over there one of these days.
He turns on the faucet and washes his hands, taking the opportunity to check his reflection in the mirror. He looked presentable, but dammit, he'd only taken a quick shower in the morning before accompanying his friends to Kazuo's office, and from there he'd taken two walks, one to the bakery and the other to Tomori's house. Did he not smell of sweat? And what about his breath after eating? Maybe he should at least use the mouthwash right there in the sink, or take off his shirt and give his armpits a quick wash with soap just in case. The mood would sour pretty quickly if he smelled bad...
He suddenly feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He hadn't asked her for her Wi-Fi password, so his mobile data must still be on. He dries his hands and checks his messages. There were some from Rihito, in their group chat.
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
just to let you know, @EggHead, we're in kaneda's place
we couldn't resist, biohazard 8 was calling us with siren songs
sorry, we'll do another game night with ya on a free day
Okubo rolls his eyes, but the truth is, he wasn't exactly upset. He had no right to demand that his friends not have fun without him. But he was glad to know they were at least considerate enough to let him know.
EggHead:
no worries man
tell me what games he has there later
enjoy the night on your side and I’ll enjoy in mine lol
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
uh
i wasn't expecting you to answer now
what, she couldn't stand your smell and told you to wash it off first?
Hahahaha
EggHead:
fuck you dude lol
she's making dinner and I'm going to help
did ur mom never teach you that you can’t have dessert before dinner?
have some manners
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
lmao you worthless pervert
yeah, gorge yourself on dinner and then go eat the hell of that dessert
just be careful not to fall mouth first in her plushies by accident lol
EggHead:
???
the fuck you mean?
what plushies?
have some respect you fucker
talking about her lady bits like that
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
LMAO
what lady bits
fuckin dumbass
i'm talkin about stuffed animals lol
EggHead:
ooooh
okay i got it now
but seriously, what plushies?
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
and you still ask
she is all cute, girly-girl and shit
i'm pretty sure her bed must be full of that stuff
Okubo frowns. The mental image that those words painted... he shivers a little. Damn, that sounded so wrong!
EggHead:
wait, you really think so?
fuckin hell...
when it’s not one thing, it’s another
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
are you going to let that slow you down?
going limp over stuffed animals is the last fuckin straw LOL
I wouldn't give a single fuck
EggHead:
it's easy for you to say talk!
you're not the one who will have one knee on the mattress and the other on top of Mockey!
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
LMAOOOOOO I'M GONNA PISS IN MY PANTS
Gigolo:
holy shit dude
rihito hollered for the entire building to hear
i even came to see what it is, let me read it
LMAOOOO
it's the my little pony squad getting in the way of egghead's dick weting session xD
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
ROTFL
again, i wouldn't give a shit
but go check it for yourself to be sure
GiantKiller:
oh my xD
but go check it?
are you talking about him going to snoop on her room??
this is wrong on so many levels!
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
it’s just for conscience relief man!
that way he doesn’t get scared and goes all limp-dick in the worst time possible
GiantKiller:
it's still wrong
if it bothers you so much, Okubo, see if there isn’t another more appropriate place for it
EggHead:
there's another room
a crafts room it seems
she's apparently an amateur artist, can you believe that?
it's full of art supplies like canvases, pencils, brushes, even an easel
Gigolo:
we know
miss uta told kaneda and I that she likes to paint and illustrate
EggHead:
WHAT??!
WHEN???
GiantKiller:
on wednesday before the sunday rihito went to talk to her
himuro tought she might like it, considering she likes doing cookie art
she confirmed it when he asked
EggHead:
and why didn't you fuckin tell me anything???
you had information like that laying around and you didn’t think about sharing it with me??
Gigolo:
what difference does that make now?
EggHead:
it makes a difference because I could've bought her a gift based on that!
fucking hell dude
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
lmao cry me a river
no, cry her a river, preferably on her bed
EggHead:
that's exactly what i'm gonna do
fuck the plushies, and fuck you guys too
fair weather friends
Gigolo:
LMAOOO dude's fuckin pissed
you guys are good again, you're on her house and you're about to get laid
the fuck you complaining about?
GiantKiller:
and thanks to us, by the way
don't be ungrateful, Okubo
AND DON'T GO SNOOPING INTO HER ROOM
EggHead:
okay, okay, my bad
thanks you bastards
and I need to at least prepare myself for what i'm gonna see, kaneda
i'll just open her bedroom door, I won’t even go in
GiantKiller:
for god's sake
at least be discreet
don’t go through her drawers or anything
EggHead:
dude i won't touch anything
i'm not rihito
Mr_Iron_Fingers:
man fuck you
i'm a bit of a pervert, but i'm not a sicko
EggHead:
yeah, right
anyway, i'll be off now
she must be wondering why i'm taking so long, i won’t keep her waiting
see ya
Okubo puts his phone away again, cursing under his breath. Damn Rihito for putting absurd mental images in his head that didn't help his arousal at all. How the hell was he supposed to perform in a room full of cuddly plushies, staring at him with those beaded eyes exuding innocence and motherly disapproval?!
He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. If so, he'd have to swallow his discomfort, for Tomori's sake. He really had no right to complain about her decorating choices. And anyway, spending that time with her, showing how much he wanted things between them to work out and go forward, showing how important she had become to him; all of that was worth far more than his attempts to protect his fragile ego.
He leaves the bathroom, slowly closing the door behind him, before facing the only other door left. It could only be her room. And to peek into such an intimate room without the hostess's permission was despicable, worthy of a clueless pervert...
“I won't touch anything. I won't even go in. I'll just open the door and turn on the light, nothing more...”
With that promise to himself, he goes to the door, gripping the handle and holding his breath before slowly opening it. The room was dark, the light from the hallway only partially illuminating it. He could see a single bed, a desk with a computer, stationery and a couple of framed pictures, a bookcase and... his own face?
Okubo blinks. He gropes along the wall, finding the switch and turning on the light. And what he saw made him wish that the room was full of plushies instead of... that.
There were posters of fighters everywhere. The walls almost disappeared beneath them. They were of all different sizes, some small enough to have been cut out of magazines, and others huge, almost the width of the door itself. His was in a prominent position, just above the desk, and Sekibayashi's and Gaolang's flanked him as if they belonged to a boy band of muscleheads. And there were so many others, most his acquaintances, some even his rivals inside the octagons, and many of them looked old, worn, portraying younger versions of themselves.
All those shirtless, sometimes sweaty men flexing and showing off their impressive muscles, their expressions either triumphant or livid as if they were about to pounce on their opponent... all those dead gazes directed at the bed in the corner of the room...
If a turn-off was capable of producing sounds, his at that moment would have made the classic Pac-Man death sound. How the fuck would he be able to do anything inside that sanctuary which seemed to be dedicated to everything virile and gay?!
He quickly turns off the light and closes the door with an expression of someone who was suffering with PTSD. He swallows hard, sweating a little, his brain trying to register the scene he had just witnessed, the hemisphere responsible for rationality trying to convince him that it wasn't that bad, he could ignore it, he just needed to be on top of her and to not look at the fucking posters...!
But the other hemisphere, which was responsible for all the neurotic fantasies that had been curdling his thoughts lately, told him that, in the missionary position, Sekibayashi, Gaolang and all those others would have a very privileged view of his ass.
Okubo buries his face in his left hand, groaning hard, wanting to slam his forehead against the wall, as much to punish himself as to forget what he had just seen. Why the hell did he open that door?! That's what he got for sticking his nose where it didn't belong! Curiosity killed the cat, or in this case, the gorilla.
"Naoya?," He hears Tomori calling from downstairs. "Is everything okay up there? Do you need help with something?"
He shudders, clearing his throat quickly to make his voice as normal as possible before replying, “Uuh- no, it's okay! It's just that I received a few messages and decided to reply right away, so no notifications would disturbed us..."
"Oh, okay! I've already laid out the ingredients here on the counter if you're ready to start."
"Alright!," He goes down the stairs, trying to think of something, anything, to use as an excuse to book it. He wouldn't be able to do anything in that disturbing room, not even if he took a few blue bombers like an old man. It wouldn't happen in the living room either, and he didn't want their first time to be in the kitchen either...
Hell, it didn't take a genius to know that nothing was going to happen that night! The best thing was for him to leave, for him to find any excuse to take the road, because otherwise he would only be wasting Tomori's time. Maybe he could come up with some sort of emergency? He's trying to come up with one that sounds convincing enough when he walks into the kitchen. Tomori lifts her head and smiles excitedly at him.
"Look! I checked the fridge and saw that I had all the ingredients to make ginger pork," She points to a meat board on the kitchen counter, where there were pork strips, still raw. "I know it's not very elaborate or sophisticated, but I guarantee you that my ginger pork is delicious! Can you help me with the onions? The ginger is in that little jar with the blue cap," She makes a cute little happy sound. "I'm so excited to show you how I cook! I'm even getting a little nervous, hahaha..."
... Okubo felt like the worst person in the world, not worthy of that woman who was too good to be true.
How could he even think of running away from her house and letting her down, all because he'd paid the price for snooping? She deserved better treatment than that. Hell, she deserved all the best he could give her, even if the night wasn't going to end with them in a bed!
He wanted to stay there with her. He wanted to cook dinner with her, eat with her, talk, laugh, watch tv, anything. More physical things could be for later, and preferably far away from the homosexual sanctuary that was that room.
"Ahaha, what are you even saying? I'm the one who should be excited," He approaches, trying to smile. "After all, I'm going to see my favorite cook in action, besides being able to learn from her."
"You're a sweetheart, but you won't escape helping in the kitchen with just a few smooth words."
"And who said I want to escape it? Guide me through your kingdom of meats, vegetables and spices, miss, you'll have the privilege of having me as your humble follower again," He gestures to the whole kitchen with a sweeping wave of his arm. Tomori laughs, opening a drawer and pulling out a baby blue apron.
"With pleasure. Here, you'll need it," She throws him the apron, laughing again when he makes a face. "Relax, I promise it will be our secret. And look, we're matching!," She shows her own apron, which Okubo recognized as the one she wore in the selfie she sent him weeks ago.
"How cheesy... you're lucky I like cheesy things in secrecy," He jokes, putting on the apron just to appease her. It had frills and looked tiny on him. He snorts when she smirks at the sight, "Next time I'll bring my own apron."
"Heh… good to know there will be a next time," She comments smiling as she hands him another knife. "Cut the onions like this, into thin slices. And don't worry, they're ice cold so they won't sting your eyes."
"Really?"
"Yeah! Just leave them in the freezer for ten minutes and the enzymes that trigger the gas that causes burning are not activated," She explains excitedly. "Cool, right?"
"Wow, I didn't know that!," He comments, impressed, trying to cut the onions in the thickness she asked. "You're really knowledged in cooking stuff..."
"I have a degree in gastronomy for a reason," She sticks out her chest a little, in a gesture of personal pride that he found adorable. "Although this particular trick I learned from my mother. She cooks really well too."
"I can imagine. Was it because of her that you decided to pursue this career?," He asks, and she seems to think for a few seconds, looking up.
"Hnnn… yeah, in parts," She finally replies. "I liked to cook with her since I was a little girl. She was happy, saying I was going to be an excellent cook in the future. And an excellent wife," She smiles with embarrassment. "But I just liked doing things in the kitchen, seeing the happy expressions of those who ate my food and hearing compliments. I had other aspirations at the time..."
"Like art?," He asks before he manages to stop himself, and flinches a little when she looks at him with some surprise.
"Huh? ... Oh, you... you know that I...?"
"Yeah, I… I kinda accidentally saw your crafts room," He admits, a little embarrassed. "I was looking for the bathroom and opened the wrong door by mistake."
She blinks, looking even more surprised. "Oh… I was thinking that Himuro and Kaneda had told you that I liked painting and illustrating, since I had mentioned it to them before."
... Ouch. His big-ass mouth: one. Subtlety: zero. It was just like him to rattle and get himself into trouble when he could very well have gotten away with it if he'd just kept quiet. He shrinks further.
"Sorry, it was an accident..."
"No, it's okay," She assured, waving the hand that held the knife. "It was my fault, I forgot to tell you which door was the right one. And there's nothing extremely personal or embarrassing about that room that makes it a no-go zone for visitors, hahaha!"
He laughed along with her, because at this point, laughing was preferable to screaming hysterically and looking like a lunatic.
"Hehe, if- if you say so... but seriously, I really didn't know that you liked to draw and paint. And I guess I should've guessed, considering your cookies are a work of art."
"Awn, thanks!," She blushes with pleasure at the compliment. "I thought about majoring in visual arts in college, but my parents protested so much that I gave up. They're afraid I wouldn't get a good job and good references on my CV... yeah, I know, they sound controlling," She nods when she sees his sympathetic expression. "They even tried to push me to study law, medicine or architecture, which was the major my brother chose. But I put my foot down and refused. Today they mellowed down and now they respect my decisions more, even if they don't approve very much."
"At least that…," He ends up shrugging, finishing cutting the onion and picking up the ginger. "My parents didn't care much about my choices. I got drafted on my school's wrestling team as soon as I started the school year, and that guaranteed me a shitload of opportunities, so they had nothing to complain about. It sucks that you didn't have that same support..."
"It's okay, I don't regret the choices I made," She guarantees, picking up a bottle that looked like sake, from a corner of the counter. "I love working as a cook, and the salary allows me to keep art as a hobby. I mean, as far as acceptable, it's not enough for me to buy the best materials there is, but it's something."
"In that case I'm happy for you, haha… and I swear I wasn't snooping aroung there, I just saw the canvases!," He swears, a bit agitated. "I just paid attention to the photos…"
"Oh yes, those photos…," She takes the board with the chopped onions that he held out to her, starting to brown them in the frying pan. "They were supposed to be displayed in the living room, or at least in my bedroom. But there, in my crafts room, they give me inspiration and motivation. And they remind me of how things have changed since then."
"Hehe, and how they changed… I learned a lot of new things about you just by looking at those photos," He comments, calmer now that he made sure she wasn’t offended by his accidental snooping. "I didn’t know that you dyed your hair. It's not a criticism at all, this color looks great on you."
"Huh?," She stops in the act of pouring a trickle of sake into the frying pan, staring at him confused. "But I didn't. This is my natural color."
"Uh... wait, really?," It's his turn to be confused. "But I saw some pothos from your school days, and your hair was straight and black..."
"Ooh…," She nods slowly, embarrassed. "Got it. But yeah... that was my dyed, straightened hair," She explains, smiling, embarrassed by his surprise. "My school was the strict type, very inflexible with its rules. And I needed to suit the standards."
"Damn, man…," He shakes his head, indignant. "Are you serious that there are schools that still do these things? That's messed up... but wait," He frowns. "There was a friend of yours in those photos giving the biggest gyaru vibes, with her tanned skin, bleached hair and all. Didn't the school forbid that too?"
"Ooh, are you talking about Akane?," Tomori lets out a vengeful laugh. "They did, but she didn't give a fuck. They threatened her with suspension and even expulsion several times, but the threats never went ahead. She was well connected and the school board was scared shitless of her dad and his 'friends', hahaha!"
"Holy shit, I don't even want to ask… but Akane? Isn't that your friend whose number Rihito wants so bad?," Okubo's eyes widen. "Boy, he really doesn't know what he's getting himself into..."
"I told you, didn't I?," She smiles devilishly. "Anyway, she's been my best friend since high school. I was hanging out with her even before I met Kanny and Hiro. She went through a delinquent phase along with me. We used to terrorize that school. Good times, hehehe..."
"Damn, you weren't joking about that delinquent phase, eh. I've got your number," He laughs, disbelieved. "But I don't have any room to judge, as I did the same thing. I just didn't expect this to be one of the many things we have in common, haha."
Tomori lowers her head a little, eyes fixed as she tends to the frying pan where the onions are browning. She then dips the pork strips into the spiced mixture, stirring vigorously, the flames fanned by the cooking sake, which Okubo is a little nervous about. He even takes a step back.
"H-Hey, sorry, I promise I won't meddle anymore, you don't have to try to intimidate me with pyromania techniques, hahaha...!"
"What- no, that's not it," She shakes her head quickly, taking the frying pan away from the heat. "I'm not mad, I'm just…," She hesitates a little, looking up at him shyly. "I'm just wondering if it changes something for you. In the way you see me, I mean..."
This makes Okubo relax, though not completely. His expression softens as he moves closer again, his expression a little more serene.
"I already said it don't. Again, this is you, isn't it? It's just that I was really curious about what you told me just now... about the things I said in that documentary getting you through that phase," He scratches the back of his head, sort of forgetting that his hands were full of onion bits. "Was that time so complicated for you? For you to think that talking more about it will make me think less of you..."
She sighs a little, closing her eyes briefly. She turns her attention back to the frying pan, and for a second, Okubo thought she was going to ignore him and signal with her silence that the subject was closed. That is until she starts talking.
"It's complicated because, now that I think back, it seems so ridiculous and childish… although at fifteen or sixteen, you're expected to be ridiculous and childish," She gives a humorless laugh "Remember I said I had other aspirations? So... when I was younger, I wanted to become a professional fighter."
"What? Seriously?," He leans towards her, his eyes widening even more. "And why didn't this dream of yours go ahead? I remember that I asked you that day at the market why you didn't learn some martial art..."
"Yeah, you asked. And I couldn't answer you," She nods. "The truth is that I tried to learn, in the last year of middle school. You know how much I am passionate about martial arts, it runs in the family and comes from way back, when I was a little girl... so I decided that I wanted to be part of this world that I loved so much. I begged and begged my parents until they agreed to let me practice judo at a dojo that accepted women. The girls in my class were about my age, and I was super excited. I thought I was going to make a bunch of friends, that I was going to become a judoka like no other, that my fighting career was going to take off... until the third class, where I gave up, bawling my eyes out because my shoulders were killing me after being thrown mercilessly onto the mat by the other girls during practice.
"... Oh," Okubo hisses a little through clenched teeth, sounding pious. "Yeah, judo is no joke, whether for guys or gals. But you could’ve tried with another style, like jiu-jitsu. It's actually a well-recommended martial art for women.
"I know, but my bad experience on that first attempt kinda broke my spirit. The truth is, Naoya, I'm a freaking coward. I hate getting hurt and feeling pain. I hate getting beaten," She gives a mortified smile. "Which is kinda absurd, considering I was always getting into fights in high school. I think anger was a tremendous fuel."
"You're not a coward! Holy shit, how can someone who faced a whole gang of brats like you did be a coward?," He protests indignantly. She shakes her head.
"Having a survival instinct is not the same as being brave. And thinking that I wasn't brave enough to live that childhood dream of mine saddened me to the point of making me go down a bad pathç She turns her head to the side, unable to hold his gaze. "That and several other factors, such as the demands from my parents, my envy of my brother who was a model student and the star of his high school baseball club, how they saw me as inadequate because of things that weren't my fault, like the color and texture of my hair. .. all of this kind of threw me into a self-destructive spiral. I skipped classes, hung out with people who were no good, got into fights... the worst of them was when I fought with another girl over a boy, can you believe it?," She makes a face, the corners of her mouth quivering in a clear attempt to hold back laughter. "We were both liking the same guy, and you know how teenagers are… holy shit, it was a hell of a catfight! I even hit her in the face with a baseball bat, I almost got expelled from school afterwards, hahaha!
"Holy fuck, woman...," Okubo stares at her open-mouthed; the mental image that that brought was too surreal for him to be able to register properly. "I'm glad you weren't armed the night I pissed you off! You were going to leave me scarred for life, just like this girl must’ve been!"
"Yeah, now you know what I'm capable of," She says, half joking, half serious. "But relax, she's fine, and nowadays we're the best of friends. It's not just you fighters who make friends after beating each other up, see?," She made a V with the fingers of her free hand. "Anyway… that time was very difficult for me. I knew that my parents were worried and disappointed, I knew that my fame was spreading, that if I continued like that my life would be over, but I didn't have the heart to try to change, to improve... until I watched your interview, in that documentary."
She finishes frying the meat, turning off the heat and turning to face him. Okubo feels a strange shiver run up his spine at the sight of her intense expression, the glint in her eyes that almost made them look teary, the slight flush that colored her cheeks. Something small flapped against the wall of his stomach.
"You spoke about your belief that race has no influence on a person's ability to be good at something with so much conviction! You said you were good and would prove it to the whole world, and so many people doubted you. So many people accused you of being arrogant, of being a loudmouth with a giant ego, there were even some westerners being racist pieces of shit on the forums. And none of that shook you, none of that stopped you from going out there and proving them all wrong," She clenches her fists against her chest, her voice getting louder, heated, passionate. "It was your dedication, pure and simple, that got you where no other Japanese has gone. You told all those idiots to shut up and watch you fly, and you did! I could only remember everyone telling me that I was a disappointment, a troublemaker, that I was never going to amount to anything in life... and that's when I found the strength to do like you and prove that all of them were wrong about me. I could grow up, be someone, fly like you did! And if I couldn't be a fighter... then I was going to show all my love and admiration for the martial arts by supporting fighters with all my might, cheering with every victory, taking that energy you exude and using it to chase after dreams I knew I could achieve. And that's why I love everything that involves the world of martial arts. Because this world gave me the strength to fight for myself, even if not in the same way that you do."
She stops talking at last, breathing a little hard, taking in his dumbfounded expression. And then she turns very red, playing with her fingers shyly while giggling in embarrassment.
"Ahaha, I'm sorry, I talked much! When I get excited about something, it's hard to shut up..."
But she didn't didn't know that, for Okubo, it was okay. Because the last thing he wanted was for her to shut up.
He remembered when he first met her, how sweet and adorable he found her, a delicate flower that seemed to be the kind of woman he always wanted as an arm candy; a pretty thing for him to display at press conferences as one of his trophies. A time that felt like it was ages ago instead of just over two months ago. And two months was enough to find out how wrong he was about her. And how glad he was that he was wrong.
She said how his words, spoken in that documentary, had swept her away. But she had no idea how enraptured he felt by her at that moment, by the intense passion in her voice, in her convictions, how he wanted her to keep talking because he loved that iron strength behind all the silk, loved the bravery she doubted she possessed, loved how she managed to be fierce without losing her sweetness, loved everything about her, he loved her...
... Oh. Ooh, shit. He was fucked, wasn't he? Holy crap...
... And at the same time it felt so obvious and so, so wonderful to be fucked like that, because of her. How could it not be? As he looked at her face flushed with embarrassment, the hue not fading even as she rattled on, he couldn't think of anyone who was easier to love.
He never had the slightest chance to resist it, right from the start. And for the first time since becoming a professional fighter, with a name and a reputation to uphold, he didn't feel the slightest urge to resist, either. Falling in love with her was easy, it felt good, and he wouldn't try to fight that feeling.
He just didn't know if it was mutual. And how was he going to explain to Rihito, Himuro and Kaneda that this was no longer a simple attempt to get a laid, which was no longer his priority. Damn...
“…you always say you like to hear me talk about the things I'm passionate about, but everyone has a limit on how much litany they can take. And I'm going to think I've found yours if you don't answer me now," She kept whimpering, mortified, and that wakes him up from his daydreams. "Come on, don't make me feel more embarrassed than I already am…!"
"… Why are you embarrassed?," He asks finally, surprising himself by managing to speak in a casual tone, instead of a dazzled one. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're amazing, you know that?"
She stops chattering, blinking, mouth half open. "M-Me?"
"Is there anyone else here besides us? Damn...," He laughs low, approaching and reaching out to gently touch her face. "And you say you're a scared crybaby... you have to have a shitload of courage to recognize limitations and do what you can with them, you know? I'm very happy to have been an inspiration to you, but the willpower to change your life came entirely from you, ok? Don't take away your own merits, miss."
"Oh...," Her eyes twinkle again, in that way that made her look like she was about to cry. She moistens her lips with her tongue, the corners of them curling upwards. "I'm- I'm not… it's just that I was very frustrated for not being able to carry out that dream of mine, and that's not exactly amazing..."
"It is for me, because you didn't lose that passion within yourself, even with those frustrations. It just gave you another purpose, and now you fight in your own way, every day, one batch of cookies at a time," He jokes, to which she laughs. "Congratulations, Uta Tomori. You managed to turn your idol into your fan."
She bites her bottom lip, seeming to be vibrating with happiness as she touches his hands, which were still caressing her face. Sh close her eyes.
“Hearing you say that is almost like a dream come true, you know? But in my old fantasies, I heard it with the fervent admiration of a fan..."
"And now? How do you hear it?"
She opens her eyes, fluttering her lashes a little before turning her face to the side and kissing his left palm.
“I hear it like someone who really, really wants to kiss you right now."
And he doesn't hesitate, bending down to reach her mouth. He was going to have back pain at that rate, but doing that to her was definitely worth a few physical therapy sessions.
They finish making ginger pork and then they eat it (it was delicious, like everything else she made, dammit, he was one lucky son of a bitch!), talking little between one strip of fried meat and another. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was cozy. He, a chatterbox who couldn't keep his mouth shut for more than five minutes, was perfectly content enjoying this silence with her.
After dinner, she invited him to sprawl out on the sofa in the living room with her while they searched the Netflix catalog for an interesting movie. He was relieved that she hadn't suggested they go upstairs; he definitely wouldn't be abe to get in the mood for that night. But he still had that urge to be close to her, which was also unheard of.
Being like this with a girl, curled up on a couch with no perverted thoughts crossing his mind, just enjoying the warmth of the moment… holy shit, if that wasn't love, he didn't know what else could be.
"Hnnn… today has been a busy day…," She murmurs low, her eyes a little heavy as they are fixed on the television, her head snuggled into his chest as he lazily rubs her back. "And kinda emotional too. Sorry for being tired..."
He understood what those words implied without her needing to elaborate. "Sorry I'm too tired to do things that are more physical and involve less clothing with you." And surprisingly, that relieved him.
"It's fine, Tomori. I'm kinda tired too, the week was busy. I just want to be with you, that's all."
She smiles, closing her eyes "Me too. Then, if you feel like it, I'll show you the rest of the house."
"Fine be me. I'm especially curious about your crafts room. By the way, I wanted to ask..."
"What?"
"Will I ever be able to see you painting?"
She pouts, looking to the side while blushing a little. "Do you really want to? It's pretty boring from the outside."
"Not if I'm your model. How about it, huh?," He raises and lowers his eyebrows playfully. "I'll bring you a bouquet of roses just to pose with one of them between my teeth."
She laughs, pushing his face to the side. "No, I'll be laughing like an idiot and I won't be able to concentrate, hahaha!"
"Laughing at your idol like that, right on his face? And she still calls herself my fan, hunf..."
"I'm your fan, but not blind about it anymore," She lifts her chin a little. And then she smiles, stealing a peck from him. "And you prefer it that way, don't lie."
Oh yes, he sure did. He could never do those things with a blind, fanatical Tomori. She wouldn't have thought herself worthy. And he wouldn't have known her so well to want to go through all that with her. If he hadn't wanted to get to know her better...
Yeah, curiosity killed the gorilla, indeed. And thank God it did.
NEXT CHAPTER
#Kengan Ashura#Kengan Omega#kenganverse#fanfiction#Okubo Naoya#Naoya Okubo#okubo x oc#kengan oc#cookies'n cream#the heavy bakery series
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What is Robert Pattinsons "Little Pillow"?
Photo from MEL
And, most importantly, how did Robert Pattinson attempt to monetize it?
In the midst of lock-down, when nobody (including celebrities) had anything to do, Robert Pattinson was stranded with nothing but three t-shirts and access to a little corner store. He was supposed to be temporarily staying in a London flat during the filming of Batman, which he starred in (as Batman). Yet in the wake of COVID-19 closures across the globe, he had been stranded with little food other than what the producers would send him according to his regulated Batman diet. Attempting to make productive use of his time, Pattinson decided to try a business concept he had come up with the prior year. He had recognized a gap in the market for fast-food pasta, and says that he “...was trying to figure out how to capitalize in this area of the market, and [he] was trying to think: How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?” Let's not speculate on if this question should ever be answered, or the grammar in which it was asked. Because Pattinson attempted to answer it, and I think we can agree it would have been better off left as a concept rather than a tangible object.
Photo from Glamour
Behold: Piccolini Cuscino
(Italian for "Little Pillow")
According to GQ, at the start of his entrepreneurship journey, "he went so far as to design a prototype that involved the use of a panini press, and then... set up a meeting with Los Angeles restaurant royalty Lele Massimini." This meeting had little success, and Massimini was, thankfully, unimpressed.
Back in 2019, my dad had an idea to create brownie-ice-cream popsicles. He created a ton of prototype batches, much to the enjoyment of my brother and I. His idea was, I can assure you, much tastier and a much more viable concept. So how come he never got a meeting with Los Angeles restaurant royalty? Because he never played the sparkly, blood-lusted love interest in a teen film.
When you have the sort of stardom that comes from helping create over 300 million dollars in profit, you have a lot working for you. You have an insurance to these types of connections. Fortunately, for the good of society, these connections don't ensure a product launch.
Pattinsons unsuccessful meeting in 2019 did, sadly, not deter him from further cuisine pursuits in 2020. In May of 2020, he recreated this pasta phenomenon in his interview with QC magazine. After reading the instructions for creating one of these Picconolo Cuscino dishes, I'm sure you'll agree the world is left much better without it.
Do not try this at home.
Ingredients:
breadcrumbs or cornflakes
pre-sliced cheese
tomato sauce
pasta
half a burger bun
sugar
Other items:
lighter
aluminum foil
microwave
latex gloves
Directions:
Put on gloves (it's about to get messy)
2. Cover pasta with water in a bowl and microwave for 8 minutes.
3. While cooking, create a bowl-shape out of aluminum foil, and cover with crushed up cornflakes or breadcrumbs.
4. Cover with sugar.
5. Place cheese slices on top
Allegedly, Pattinson used nine packs of cheese for this.
6. and then cover with more sugar.
“It really needs a sugar crust,” -Robert Pattinson
7. Cover with tomato sauce.
8. When pasta is finished microwaving, dump it on top of your creation.
At this point, Pattinson says there is "...absolutely no chance this is gonna work. Absolutely none,” But keep going anyways.
9. Pour more sugar on top of the pasta.
10. Hollow out your half of the burger bun, and place it on top.
Before this next step, take off your latex gloves. Pattinson didn't, and it did not go well.
11. Take your lighter and burn a fun design onto the top for aesthetic quality points.
Robert says “I’m just gonna do the initials.…” meaning P.C., for Piccolini Cuscino. The interviewer, Zach Baron, at GQ, says "at this point, he accidentally ignites one of his latex gloves, which promptly melts onto his palm." So take extra caution. This part could hurts
12. Wrap your pasta concoction in more aluminum foil, creating a type of ball.
13. Place the pasta ball in the microwave for ten minutes.
At this point, if you've done this correctly, the microwave should shark, catch on fire, and shut down the electricity, just as it did in the GQ interview.
I don't recommend eating. Robert Pattinson didn't. He figured it was best left ignored, and thats precisely what he did.
He says, “I’m really trying to sell this company... I’m doing this for my brand.”
As of 2024, there have been no official mentions of a Piccolini Cuscino fast-food business. Let's hope there never are.
#robert pattinson#twilight#pasta#food#creepy pasta#twilight new moon#food blog#food blogging#celebrityblogger#celebrities#celebrity news#food news#breaking news#batman#twilight eclipse#twilight breaking dawn#gq magazine#recipes#cooking#easy recipes#kristen stewart#celebrity interviews
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Letting the Features Creep
It actually takes quite a long time before a game gets to a point of being less accessible for new players due to feature creep.
The regular problem with feature creep/scope creep is Not Getting Launched. Imagine you're an indie dev making a JRPG and then you're like, "but FFVIII had that thing where one dude had a quicktime event to go nuts with the trigger button, and the other had a fighting game combo and another had timed swings for auto-crits. We could have little quicktime events to keep combat interesting!"
What you've got to understand is
a) There is no limit to the number of features like this you can include in your game. I learned this when I saw the feature in Bravely Default where they had a social element and you could bring in copies of other players' heroes if you'd passed them on the train, and also they could speed up your town reconstruction, like, wtf.
b) Quicktime events are coroutines. Coroutines are literally a whole region of programming you won't need in order to make a JRPG unless you decide you want quicktime events. Like, they're a skill! Your programmer might not have that in their repertoire already, and if they don't you're looking at having them learn a new coding discipline so you can have triggered attacks.
BUT.
On the OTHER hand.
I really don't have a problem with feature creep (ha, misspelled it "feature crepe" and I'm imagining that meaning you keep on adding delicious ingredients. Peanut butter? Sure! Strawberries and syrup and whipped cream? Chocolate chips! Is there even a crepe under there anymore?) in live-service games. Warframe has one of the wildest cases of feature creep and honestly wouldn't have survived as a game without it. It's a better game for it - multiple of the currently-understood "core features" of the game did not exist at launch and features, ya know, crept in and then they were great, and became core features that stuck around.
Similar deal with Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms. Some players have a problem with new features like Seasons (in spite of them literally just being an overlay that hands you more free stuff for doing what you were doing already), but I very much do not. I think the game has some pretty clever gating to keep players from encountering material before they're ready, so that they don't get overwhelmed (I think doing something similar would help Warframe a ton). A lot of levels only appear after you've gotten close to the power level necessary to actually do them. Good stuff.
The point is that both games do varying levels of work on keeping the original problem I mentioned - the game getting confusing for new players - under control. Considering achievement stats suggest something like 95% of potential players drop off without unlocking a second planet I feel like Warframe could profit from working harder at this, but they didn't ask me.
But what they don't do, and I'd argue they don't really need to do, is avoid feature creep due to the problem of never releasing.
Because, like, they're released.
The Adventure Quest Model has proven successful for loads of games: You make a game, you release it, and then you patch it almost every day with new stuff for people to look at. Sometimes this will eventually result in a jumbled mess of a product but a) sometimes it won't and b) in the meantime you've gotten something onto the shelf to buy so who cares?
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I don’t know why his fans are always after Louis as if his team didn’t implement and probably created #datamining https://twitter.com/wmichords/status/1595678878437376003?s=46&t=csWbxcqTJiZZ9WAIB9pvmw
As a friend said:
Although Harry is so hyped and overexposed, much of what he touches seems to underperform or struggle. It’s like the opposite of the Midas touch. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in 2017. Pleasing not performing like it did at debut. DWD. Being besties with the now fired former head of Gucci. The CBS sitcom Happy Together. Other than providing an ice cream machine for the crew at the beginning of filming, Harry did nothing publicly to support the show and angered some of the cast. The Friends Reunion directed by Ben Winston. James Corden is being continually exposed to be an asshole and is one of Harry’s closest friends. The juxtaposition between homewrecker Harry’s acting failure and heart-broken Jason’s glowing success with Ted Lasso. The death of the Zach Braff bromance mid-DWD filming, the fall out with Flo Pugh etc. Harry will get his Grammys and the industry will keep churning out hyperbolic praise because they want to make big $ off him, but if you look at his career so many projects and relationships have spectacularly failed.
Harry Styles is popular and will make lots of money and stack up awards, but there’s just not much substance or depth there. He publicly dumped Olivia in a heartbeat once the movie was out, tour ended, and after the Shia and nanny stories made things less deniable and more messy. His image, his brand, his selling power dictate his professional and personal choices. There will be no growth or learning from this relationship, as with any other in his history. He’d sleep with another attractive taken director who praises him and offers him big headlines.
And profit from the songs he writes about them. Harry isn’t a creative genius, and he does not have big ideas or core integrity. But what he has is a profligate talent to exploit opportunity at any cost — to himself, to his competitors, to the less privileged and protected (which includes everyone from Hollywood directors to fans).
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Top Five Star Trek VOY Episodes
by Ames
We made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, y’all, and it was a pretty good trip! Overall, we’d say Star Trek: Voyager is a pretty decent contender for one of the best series in the franchise. Sure, we here at A Star to Steer Her By are probably still on Team DS9 for the most part, but our plucky friends lost in the Delta Quadrant are at least giving TOS and TNG a run for their money in terms of overall episode quality, character development, and consistency. Hell, TNG’s first season alone brings its average way down, so it might be a pretty close race!
Considering Voyager usually gets overlooked on a good day and unfairly criticized on a bad day, it’s a damn good show with a lot of stunning episodes that leave the audience invested, affected, and ready for more. And now that we’re out of episodes, we’ve assembled our favorites of the series for you to warp through below, and/or listen to on our finale episode of the podcast (series discussion at 1:29:20) which features even more picks from guest star Liz. Bon voyage, Voyager!
[images © CBS/Paramount]
“False Profits”: Chris
We’d be remiss if we didn’t include some of the fluffy comedy shit Chris loves (I’m just as shocked as you are that it’s not Bride of Chaotica!), so here’s a very funny yet very Star Trek example that brings back the two Ferengi all the way from TNG’s “The Price.” It’s a pretty deep cut for a reference, but they certainly run with it in an ultimately satisfying way, complete with putting Ethan Phillips back in Ferengi makeup, as we saw in TNG’s “Ménage à Troi” and will see again in Enterprise’s “Acquisition.”
“Course: Oblivion”: Ames
Just for the whiplash of it all, let’s pivot from a fun romp of an episode to a deeply depressing, tragic episode in “Course: Oblivion.” The inevitable demise of all the Silver Blood Duplicates is like watching a slow-motion car crash: you know what’s going to happen is going to be upsetting but you can’t tear your eyes away. And the nihilist cherry on top of this ice cream cone of sadness is that their message never even gets through! It’s so successful at being so bleak!
“Memorial”: Caitlin
Let’s kick off a handful of noteworthy episodes that examine how we connect with and remember history, starting with a space genocide that plays out in the memories of anyone who happens along as both a memorial to its people and a not-so-subtle disparagement of Holocaust deniers. The post-traumatic stress disorder that the crew displays is also expertly done, making their reactions to atrocity something personal and all the more intriguing, like “The Inner Light” on a whole ship’s scale.
“Remember”: Caitlin
Before getting saddled with Paris, B’Elanna Torres had some really good character work early on, and her living out the moments in the life of an Enaran woman in her dreams gives Roxann Dawson quite a lot to play with. We also did a lot of comparing this episode to the classic “The Inner Light,” and for good reason! Dawson really shines in this role, and we also get a spellbinding portrayal of the really troubling Enaran culture and their genocide of the Regressives.
“Blink of an Eye”: Jake
One of the cleverest episodes of Voyager comes in this fast-paced planet that develops quicker than you can ascertain, and thus allows for us to view the full evolution of a culture’s advancements in perfect little vignettes. And it all culminates with a hopeful and touching moment with one of Jake’s favorite characters, Gotana-Retz, finally connecting with the ship that has shaped his planet’s history and saving their asses.
“Distant Origin”: Ames
Here’s another episode that’s almost too clever for its own good. The Galileo allegory is so strong and fascinating that we entirely accept that some sapient dinosaurs left earth at some point, which should be so silly as to utterly distract from the episode, but Forra Gegen is just so earnest and his plight to open the eyes of his people to their forgotten history so reasonable that we just go with it! Plus Chakotay is probably the most in character he ever gets to be all series long and it’s great to watch!
“Death Wish”: Chris
While Q is at his best when paired with Jean-Luc, and his other appearances in Voyager may stretch credulity a little bit, this episode shows us a side of the Continuum that is refreshing and new. Quinn’s depiction of life as a Q as a prison is rather fascinating, and he expertly plays a compassionate character whom you root for even though you feel conflicted by it because his winning the trial will result in his death. But that’s the kind of moral conflict that Star Trek plays so well!
“Nothing Human”: Caitlin
Speaking of moral conflicts, we’ve got another ethical debate on our hands in this allegory to Nazi medical experiments. While everyone here on the podcast was firmly in the camp that it is okay to use medical knowledge obtained through deplorable means, it’s still a fascinating reminder to see the full context of what it means to use data from someone like the Cardassian Josef Mengele. The science fiction lens of this real-world allegory is just what Star Trek is for.
“Relativity”: Ames
I have such a soft spot for this episode. I’m a sucker for a really interesting use of time travel in storytelling, and the way this episode is structured: chef’s kiss. The twist that it was a crazed future Braxton the whole time. Yes. The weirdly sexy dynamic between Seven and Ducane. I’m there for it. And the best thing of all is seeing Jeri Ryan in a Starfleet uniform, looking fly as hell! Her character journey is now complete because someone finally dressed her well.
“Eye of the Needle”: Jake
Another very soft spot of ours is in this season-one episode featuring another of Jake’s favorite Voyager characters. This is the first time (of many) that the Voyager comes this close to finding a way back home to the Alpha Quadrant only to have those hopes dashed to bits by circumstance. It’s so Voyager-specific a story that it’s actually quite perfect. So many episodes could be TNG in Voyager clothes, but it’s episodes like this one that really gave a particular voice to the show.
“Homestead”: Caitlin
The literal journey the Voyager characters go on is a big part of the whole series (even when they dipsy doodle around on sidequests so often), and the most complete and meaningful character journey is Neelix’s. Throughout the show, we’ve seen him grow as he got further and further from his homeworld, became an important fixture on the ship, and developed friendships with the other characters (like Tuvok, as you’ll see in a moment). So the closure his character gets in “Homestead” is too perfect for words.
“Riddles”: Caitlin, Chris
The Neelix-Tuvok relationship is on full display here. Where normally they’re paired together for the comedy of an odd-couple dynamic, this episode really shows the love these two have for each other. And Tim Russ acts his butt off as a Tuvok who is struggling to recuperate from a serious injury, trying to find himself again, and being supported by his best friend. It’s so good that it didn’t even make Caitlin’s tops list of that season, but has reemerged in the finals!
“Jetrel”: Chris, Jake
One more Neelix episode to round out his character, and this is one of the early ones. We’ve already talked about some good allegories on this list for Galileo and Mengele, and appropriately for this moment, we’ve got another great scifi lens to view Robert Oppenheimer (almost said Barbie, but alas). Jetrel is a fascinating character just like Oppie, but Neelix really steals the show with the remorse he feels for draft dodging and then surviving an atrocity that would have killed him. Damn, those are some deep layers for a usually fun character.
“Year of Hell”: Ames, Jake
This may be one of the best two-parters in Star Trek, as it never lost momentum and its conclusion was that jaw-dropping kind of satisfying that marks really good writing. Watching the ship and crew getting more and more wounded over the course of the two-parter was excellent to see, and the character Annorax is one of our favorite Voyager villains. And for good reason! Kirkwood Smith infuses that character with such humanity and resolve you almost root for him. Almost.
“Living Witness”: Ames, Chris, Jake
Finally, the episode with the most votes from your SSHB hosts is yet another original way of looking at how people represent history, and how so much of it is told through the biased lens of whoever’s in charge. But the best thing about “Living Witness” is how much the actors get to really ham it up by portraying evil versions of their usual characters. It’s like doing a mirror universe episode, but more thought provoking, less contrived, and less doofy.
—
See also: our Bottom Five Star Trek VOY Episodes list. And why not: here’re all the seasonal tops and bottoms from seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7!
Welcome back to Earth! We hope you had as great a time following along with Janeway and crew throughout the series, but we’ve got more Star Trek on the way! Next on the docket is the one you’ve no doubt been waiting for, so make sure you’re following along here as we finally fill out the classic Trek roster with Star Trek: Enterprise in our watchthrough on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also hail us on Facebook and Twitter, and give one final toast: To the Journey!
#star trek#star trek podcast#podcast#star trek voyager#voyager#top 5#false profits#course: oblivion#memorial#remember#blink of an eye#distant origin#death wish#nothing human#relativity#eye of the needle#homestead#riddles#jetrel#year of hell#living witness
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Myc/Andre x OC - Part 1
"Reagan I swear to fuck if you don't let me go right this second so help me God I'm literally going to kill you and your family."
"If you killed me, Dad would be pissed cuz I'm more successful than you, and you couldn't kill Dad because you care about him too much."
"Well I'll kill Mom then."
"No you won't."
"Fuck you. And fuck Cognito Inc.. If I wanted to work for this stupid company I would've started a long time ago. You're lucky I owe you."
That was the conversation the field team of Cognito Inc. had the misfortune of starting their day to. Well, that and a rather irritated looking Reagan using her mechanical arm-pack to carry an equally irritated girl - One that, mind you, no one fucking knew.
"Reagan, I - I don't mean to be rude or anything, but -" Brett stuttered out after a moment of watching the interaction.
"Everyone, meet Adelaide Ridley. My sister."
"Everyone, if any of you call me that I will rip out your reproductive organs and feed them to you. Don't refer to me at all. Call me Addy if you're feeling really adventurous." The girl said, still in Reagan's mechanical arms. "Can you fucking put me down now?"
"Fine." Reagan rolled her eyes, then complied with her sister's demand. "Addy here is a maniac inventor too, but made the decision not to join Cognito Inc. and instead decided to live on my couch and complain for a living. I did her a favour and submitted her job application and, wouldn't you know it, she immediately got promoted to the field team because I told JR that she would probably kill everyone and herself if I wasn't there to supervise her - And showed off some of her best inventions which rival mine, but I'm pretty sure it was the subtle death threat that got him."
"She did all this without my fucking permission, keep in mind." Addy growled. "And, as the cherry on top of this fucking ice cream sandwich of shit is that she just told me yesterday."
"So, like a fucking psychopath, she decided to go out drinking so she could guilt-trip me in the morning not to make her go to work."
"And, like a fucking psychopath, she made me go anyways and threatened to kick me out if I didn't."
"Okay, you've been sleeping on my couch since you were 14 and you got back from Canada. You promised to get a job like 6 times. You had this fucking coming. Besides - I told you I was gonna do this, you were just too drunk to remember it."
"Bitch, I was high. There's a fucking difference."
Myc rose from his seat. "Okay, I've been polite and let you two have your petty little argument, but it just stopped being interesting. Hi Adelaide, bye Adelaide. I'm going to go get 5 simultaneous handjobs now. Welcome to Cognito Inc. See you at lunch." Reagan grimaced noticeably at the use of her sister's first name. She didn't miss the way Addy glared at the mushroom's retreating figure.
Gigi also rose. "Yeah, I was just being polite. I really don't care about this Reagan 2.0. I've been around her for like 5 minutes and she already pisses me off. Bye."
Addy scowled, sitting down in an empty seat. "So what do I even do here, Rae? I mean, you didn't exactly give me a job description."
"Waitwaitwait - Before you guys start getting all boring-work-talk-mode, I gotta know - What did you get high with?" Andre butted in.
Addy raised an eyebrow. "You talkin' to me?"
"Yeah, yeah - Reagan said you were 'too drunk to remember' when she told you about the job, and then you corrected her and said 'bitch, I was high, there's a fucking difference', so I'm asking what you were high on."
Addy shot Andre a grin. Luhix from Hollow Earth. I built a machine to automatically locate veins of Jadeite. I actually got a fair bit before someone here ruined my fun." She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I traded it with a mole for a fuck ton of Luhix and sold half of it for a profit. I kept the other half because a Luhix high is better than fucking Styxroot, and I didn't want to liquidate all my assets."
Andre's eyes widened comically, and Addy could see his blown out pupils and momentarily wondered how the fuck he was still alive.. "Holy fucking shit, Reagan, how can someone with your genes be this fucking cool?"
A wide grin spread across Addy's face, making Reagan roll her eyes. "Hey Andre, didn't you have that meeting in right about five minutes from now?"
"Oh, shit - Hey, cool girl, you're sitting beside me and Myc at lunch. Not optional. Also, take this for the hangover. Ok I'm gonna get screamed at, bye!" He said, fishing out a syringe from his bag, slamming it on the table, and making a mad dash for the exit of the room.
Addy eyed the syringe suspiciously. "Hey Rae, this safe?"
Reagan shrugged. "Kind of a 50/50 with Andre. It won't kill you, but it might be laced with something. On the one hand, you're new, but on the other hand, he seems to like you."
With a shrug, Addy injected the syringe into her arm. It took a couple seconds to kick in, but when it did, the thrumming in her head immediately disappeared.
"Feeling better?" Reagan said dryly.
"Much."
"Well, that was the crew, minus Glenn. You'll meet him at lunch, though. You wore the wristband, right?
Addy scowled. "I didn't exactly have a fucking choice."
"Trust me - The payout will be worth it. Anyways, your job is pretty much to make shit that JR tells you to make and sometimes go out and do important shit. Other than that, do what you want. Take this." She thrusted some sort of smartwatch into her sister's arms. Addy hesitantly put it on, her eyes widening as a holographic screen appeared in front of her. "You'll get assignments via that. It'll vibrate when you first get it, then if you don't answer a needle will jab you and, depending on how important the assignment is and how pissed off JR is, may or may not inject you with something."
Addy tried to remove the smartwatch, but it seemed to be glued to her wrist. "Reagan what the fuck."
Reagan grinned. "Yeah, it does that. Their tech is dogshit though, so it's really not that hard to remove. It's way harder to remove it without JR finding out, though, so I wouldn't bother."
"This is why I didn't want to join this stupid fucking company."
"Careful - If JR catches you saying that, you'll be put on milking duty." Reagan grimaced. "And trust me, you do not want to know what that is. Anyways, I gotta do shit. You have clearance to pretty much everything but you are being recorded everywhere you go so keep that in mind. They don't give a shit if you get high, but I wouldn't because you'll need to be sober for the hazing you might be put through. Have fun!"
----
A/N: OK SO that was the first little blurb of the fanfic im writing about my OC, Adelaide. lmk if you wanna be added to some sort of tag list cuz i heard that authors sometimes do that. i legit have no fucking clue where this fanfic is going
Requests more open than my legs (aka very)
#andre lee#dr andre lee#andre lee x oc#magic myc#magic myc x oc#magic myc x reader#dr andre lee x reader#andre lee x reader#inside job#first part#requests open#please request im so bored
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i saw the ask where anon talked about how woo is taking a lot of potential from a better dojae unit and i couldn't help but agree. its kinda of a hard pill to swallow but there are some reasons that i could think of.
jungwoo is there as doyoung's support systems. its unspoken how doyoung seems to be awkward and uncomfortable acting around jaehyun esp in front of the camera where he needs to restrain himself. maybe he'a avoiding to do anything that could cause a stir amongst shippers (inevitable, we live off crumbs) or from him being self cautious. but with woo, he's more comfortable to act like a close brother and hugs him (will there be a day where we get a proper hug this era), and it seems that doyoung relies on jungwoo alot and vice versa. so maybe that's why jungwoo was chosen to be in the unit.
jungwoo's image. he's refreshing, youthful, boyish and very lovable that i think would be a loss if the company won't profit off such idol. jungwoo has decent singing and better dancing skills. he performs so excellent in perfume and kiss so far, his parts were my favourite. there's something about how his expressions showed his enthusiasm and excitement to be onstage got me. this image was a special add on to dojae. of course we know how well jaehyun and doyoung complement each other but if i were to make an analogy:
jaehyun's the base note that acts like a foundation for the combination. without him, the group will fall. he's the most popular member in nct, and lets agree we all had a crush on him at one point. he's perfect visual, vocals, dance and performance wise.
doyoung's the middle note that brings the group together. with jaehyun they would be enough to become one group. doyoung's smart (jae's words) and he's considered as the group's manager. so i'm guessing doyoung did more than an idol's job for this unit, he was the one working behind the scenes. his vocals, visuals and popularity amongst his loyal fans guarantees success. dance/performance wise he's decent, but damn he did outperformed himself this time - esp in kiss. i might be biased but who can control themselves when doyoung's bare waist and chest was out like that? hehe
lastly jungwoo. the sweet cherry on top. he's the top note. it's like how we can have ice cream on its own (jaedo), but we can make it better with toppings on top - that's jungwoo to me in this unit. as a jaedo shipper myself, i really wanted a jaedo only unit but that's just wishful thinking. sm knows, they all know how jaedo will bring more than profit to the table. its risky, and they're playing the safe card. but hey, i'm happy for both of them. back to jungwoo, he fits in surprisingly with the two and i'm very interested to see more of their performances. i'm rooting for woo all the way.
You described dojaejung. Dojae alone would have a different concept and image, that would work around their strengths as two. It's like TaeMarkYY vs TaeMark.
Doyoung really put effort into practice of the two choreos we saw. He is quick, sharp and even has good hand gestures in places. His stiffness in torso is barely in the way because the choreo is adapted to his kind of motions.
I really hope Jungwoo will stay the way he was during the countdown live. He was charged and enthusiastic, but didn't try to stirr things his way, disrupt Do's set manner of presenting things, didn't attack Jae. Because he worked as support, followed the same vector as the two others, he felt in place, fitting. Vacance type of push and pull although is fun as variety, is also an exhausting way to function as a group as someone has to give in, to sacrifice to keep the peace.
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On May 25th 1726 the worlds first lending library opened in Edinburgh by Allan Ramsay
Ramsay was born in Lanarkshire in 1686, and by 1701 had settled in Edinburgh as an apprentice wig-maker.
At the turn of the eighteenth century wigs were worn by men as a form of status symbol, elaborate constructions of human, goat or horse hair that often fell in ringlets below a man's shoulders, or were elevated to a significant height as a means of increasing their wearer's sense of physical stature. They were expensive products and were created by skilled craftsmen whose reputations rested on their ability to create ever newer and greater objects for their customers to display in public.
By 1712 Ramsay had become a well-known wig-maker of excellent reputation with premises on the High Street, Royal Mile, for the richest and most high status customers to buy.
During this time Allan, through his love of reading and literature, became involved with the Easy Club, a cultural group established to celebrate traditional Scots writing. From this association Ramsay began writing, and by 1718 was a successful enough poet to turn his wig shop into a bookshop. Some people have credited Ramsay's early writing with being a major influence on the careers of Robert Fergusson, and later Robert Burns.
In time Ramsay's bookshop mutated into the world's first organised circulating library, a cultural hub for readers to borrow books, magazines and periodicals and take them away in order to peruse them at leisure, and then return them for other readers to enjoy.
The modern notion of a library providing such access free of charge is quite different from the original circulating library system, where members where charged an annual subscription fee in order to have access to the collections of materials available. The early function of such organisations was not primarily an educational one, as might be expected, but a capitalist one - to profit from those who had money to spend on such memberships.
In Edinburgh, the rise of the Enlightenment ideals and the city's relative affluence made Ramsay's library a roaring success, and he was able to spend time focusing on his own writing, penning not just poems but also dramas, his 1725 pastoral play The Gentle Shepherd being performed and celebrated as a work of theatre in his own lifetime.
Ramsay GardenRamsay opened a theatre on Carubbers Close, off the High Street, which was opposed by the religious fervour of the Calvinists, and later forced to close. Ramsay railed against the dour principles of the Presbyterian church in some of his poems of this time.
In 1740 Ramsay retired to the house he had built for himself, still seen on the land immediately east of Edinburgh Castle - the cream and orange coloured building at the top of the Royal Mile is called Ramsay Garden, and the central structure - Ramsay's original home - was popularly known during his own lifetime as 'Goose Pie House' because of it’s octagonal shape.
Ramsay died in 1743 and in buried in the Greyfriars Kirkyard, where a memorial on the side of the church building celebrates his life. The statue of Ramsay on Princes Street was carved by John Steell, and ensures that Ramsay is still visibly commemorated in the city where he made most impact during his lifetime.
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Aashritha Javvaji
1. Name, Year, Major, and Hometown
Aashritha Javvaji, 3rd, Managerial Economics, Pleasanton
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How to be successful
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I have a pretty smile
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Putah creek with floaties
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Talenti ice cream
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Touch my hair too much lol
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While we're young dumb
Young, young dumb and broke
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